#madd rambles

[maddcactus-art]

I've raised my commission prices a little bit. It had to be done, since my prices haven't changed since 2018… And god knows, everything became freaking more expensive nowadays, so, I had to do something about it too… Since, you know, food now costs more money, and I need to eat, to live… %) What a concept, am I right?

Anyways… The prices haven't changed drastically. And I'll open commissions after my birthday on 22 of april. I don't want to get more work before that, cuz… I need to rest.

BUT. After that - if anyone, who's still reading me here is interested - feel free to message me and we together will fight against the goddamn broken payment system on the only platforms that still allow international transfers!

Yep.

[infiniteorangethethird]

ah yes every light (me being subjected to new media) has its shadow (I have so many new daydream ideas I'm going to explode)

[qqquib]

nothing will prepare you for finding old written DOCUMENTS and ART of your daydreams? i cannot bare to get rid of them but oh my…

[fuckfuckgoback]

I'm up thinking about daydreaming so yall get some thoughts.

Maybe I just learned it too late, but I never vibed with the term "paracosm". Like I have multiple longer daydreams that switch POVs even, but growing up I always called them stories or storylines, which fits better in my brain. They feel less like worlds to me and more like fiction, like if I was playing a tv show in my head.

Plus, the longer storylines are definitely exceptions. Most of the time I just throw together familiar characters in a similar setting (shoutout to the four house layouts I've almost always used & Generic American Highschool™️) that vary only slightly for whatever new scenario my brain cooked up. But theyve always felt just like little stories, never a changing world even when I did go back and start things over from the top.

[the-feral-gremlin]

“I am his rage, inherit the engine leak”

[lightparty-fullparty]

I think the reason Edda as a character managed to invade my brain so much, is that she hits a particular narrative love I have for stories about well... love. And how as such a strong and overwhelming emotion, it can drive someone to extremes and become 'corrupted'. Edda was introduced as such a sweet, tragic character. The stereotypical 'Healer'. Soft, kind, naivee, vulnerable. Who gives, and gives, and gives, and never ever takes. Who loves her friends and her finacee and isn't it so sad how she's treated? How she won't or can't fight back?

And then Tam-Tara happened. Avere died. Edda was blamed. Her true love gone. Her friends abbanonded her. For someone who loves so much, who gave so much, she was left with nothing but a rotting head.

Except that wasn't true! She didn't have nothing right? She still had her love. Her memories, and it RUINED her. That overwhelming love she had for Avere meant she could not let him go. Even when she seemed more stable in Ul'dah. It didn't help. Edda was along with no where for all that Love to go. So it went right back to Avere again. To the head in her bag. To her desperation to bring him back. Her obsession to have her love returned again.

When you get to Tam-Tara again, for the 'Wedding', Edda is so lost in her Love that she truly believes the voidsent she created IS Avere. That he's returned to her. When you defeat him, she's so struck by grief again that... she's happy to fall. Because she'll be with Avere again. Love defined Edda. Love killed Edda. Love was comforting, and then corrputing, and then destructive. Love gave her purpose, love caused her grief, love cause her maddness.

And isn't that wonderously terrifying?

[thistlefaethfort]

madds mikkelson hannibal lecter came to serve cunt, anthony hopkins hannibal lecter came to eat cunt

[starks-hero]

Let's play put a finger down! Put a finger down if you chronically daydream to cope with real life because in these dreams you are someone who's important and who matters and whose actions and opinions are seen and heard and other people's opinions about you don't matter because you know your worth and you're surrounded by people who care about you and love you and you know they'll never leave you because they're products of your imagination and are definitely projections of the fact that you feel like you're unlovable and–

[fleurfay]

I (probably) have Maladaptive Daydreaming this wouldnt work well but oh boy the want to do it is SO STRONG just to see what my brainy brain would do–

I'd get distracted probably oh no—

[maddcactus-art]

Dude you alive? Is there somewhere else I can follow you besides this Tumblr?

Surprisingly, I am alive. %) If you use twitter (or X, heh), you can find me there @MaddSadtodd, if you'd like. I also have insta, but it's been a looong time since I've used it...

Other than that - I post on Boosty (which is like a Patreon-like website), and on VK (which is... I guess our version of Facebook's and Twitter's unlawful child, lol).

[tama1313]

I love how today my mind is in a loop between "life is awful" and "oh! That's such a cool idea!!!"

[machathecat]

Nobody:

My brain atm for some fucking reason:

Hey

Therian Argos AU?

Let's daydreaming about that for about 1-2 hours

[warriorblood1]

the miss holloween scenes have me missing my favorite pair (too powerful for the death match....) so i posted a lil thing i wrote last year for a rp. sad and bloody, just the way i like em :>

[rainestormy-nights]

That moment when "oh she would totally hug me" followed by "shit she's not real"

[applepi00]

OKAY THE WAY I GASPED SO HARD LIKE 23 MINUTES IN WITH THE HOLD ME CLOSE INTERLUDE

[starlight-scorpion]

Screenshot redraw! Speedpaint and original screenshot under the cut!