#magical thinking trying to wish myself into better life why cant i just move and do shit why am i constantly so fucking paralyzed

[slonechnik]

ahhh

[wihome]

I swore to myself that I will not journal multiple times or as frequently as I did the past few months. Although therapeutic, journaling has solidified some memories for me that I shouod be forgetting and they push me further into the loop of overthinking. Moreover, I've journaled as if I was venting out my anger in the past few months. So now, I'm trying to redeem.

But I cant stop myself from journaling one time on tumblr. Cause it's been so long.

Firstly, I've moved on from my first crush. (Or atleast, I'm beginning to move on from him)

This is a milestone in itself because I realised that I do not want to be a secret admirer for someone I talk to very frequently that too,in a filter-free manner.

Although pretty late to join the other end of the sea called "first crushes and hormonal rushes", I've realised that it's either -

You stay a secret admirer while keeping your interactions minimal

Or

You let them know how you feel a little early in the relationship

So that you don't let the guilt of becoming a delusional take over whatever friendship you've really established enroute that's actually needed for the 2 of you but, you're too guilty when he needs you as a friend.

Learnt the lesson a really tough way, but we both have our lives moving in different paces in our unis so "it is what it is"

(I really wish we could hang out sometime soon. But I swore to not get ahead anytime soon, so)

Secondly, I began coloring in the penup app of my new tab and doodling a little albeit rarely. This got me into training my mind into being a little patient. Maybe right now I'm patient by 4% more than I was before on an average

Thirdly, I'm chronically having headaches.

It could be me stressing out or overthinking subtle things when I let my emotions and silliness take over the rationale. Also because although im not entirely a people pleaser, i have a hard time saying no and even taking it (should seriously work on better communication)

Or inadequate sleep mostly due to my inefficiency in planning things for the day or night if I'm being specific.

I should be sleeping now so I get sufficient rest for tomorrow, but I'm typing away anyways :p

Or me studying under stress! Panicking. Worrying about my future.

Or missing home and worrying about family

Or under-hydration

Or micro nutrition deficiency cause I get fatigued after I'm out in the sun, pretty easily.

So to sum everything up, my health is getting fucked up. Mental health and physical one too.

Hence the pms and pcos.

Fourthly, I read a lot than I studied in the past few months.

Be it solo leveling to begin with.

Or subtle art of not giving a fuck.

Then recently I've read It ends with us and It starts with us.

While rn I'm binging on Omniscient reader and Eaternal Nocturnal.

Even anime wise

I've watched too many it seems

Kaguya Sama

Suzume (in theatres ✨️)

Your name (rewatch, in theatres 💫, and re-rewatch in my new tab)

Your lie in april

Garden of words

Horimiya (S1)

Demon slayer (rehabilitation arc and mugen train)

I've watched many movies too

Jailer (in theatres)

Happy days

Anand

Gharshana

Good night

(Okay not too many but yeah more than my average in the recent times)

Now it makes sense why I get all panicky before exams. I almost never touched my books because I know, I know how the next 3 and the next 3 years of my life are gonna be like, academically

Lastly, yoongi's lines from magic shop are making so much sense to me right now that I want to turn back time and just live happily with my family but this time around - Imma take care of my parents more and show my brother I love him more and not think about growing up or idolize growing up. Cause adulting is so damn not easy! And I'm not even 21 yet (will be in a few months though)

It's tiring

Taxing

Exhausting

Exasperating

You can't even blame your parents anymore (that feels morally wrong!)

[honeydewcoldbrew]

10/1/2022

What is it about heartbreak that makes you sit up in your bed typing away a  monologue after spending a restless night thinking about them? I toss and I turn and I just think why do I miss someone who treated me so poorly? How come everything reminds me of them? Even as the early morning sunrise peaks through my blinds I’m reminded of trips to Disney world. I sit here and I sob and I sob until I cant push any more tears out. I just try to remind myself that the tears are getting me closer to moving on. I feel so alone. I’m quite honestly scared of what the future has for me, cause right now its miserable. I am in so much pain. I wish I had a magic genie or superpowers or something. I’d do anything to not feel this pain for one fucking second. I wish I was an ounce of a narcissist. The truth is, the power to moving on is just to dedicate those enormous feelings inwards. There's many things I’ve been able to work on, as far as my appearances go, but I’ve been able to watch more movies that I always wanted too. Its weird roaming through life without a partner. I’m quite at the mercy of my friends if I want to try a restaurant or see a movie. Things really have to get better from here on because I think I'm at my lowest.

[crowtrinkets]

Your Weary Widow Marches

A Gender Neutral MCxFelix fic in which our dear barista educates their teacher and shows him some music from their home.

I’ve never really written fanfiction before but I thought Id give it a shot. The formatting looks weird on my end so if it looks weird after posting I apologize I couldn’t figure it out. Hope you enjoy!

—-

The crackling fire and pages being turned were the only sounds heard for the past few hours. Felix and I sat on either side of a couch placed in Anisa’s office silently reading our respective books. I’ve been in Astraea for nearly a week and had I known that Felix’s teaching method would be done via reading books the size of an encyclopedia I probably would have chosen Sage or Anisa instead... probably

I glance up at Felix, he’s sitting with legs crossed slouching on the arm rest of the couch, glasses on and enthralled in his book. I'm leaning with my back against the arm rest facing Felix, peering at him from behind my knees. I watch as his eyes scan the pages, partially hiding behind my book so he doesn’t notice me stare. I rub my eyes, dry from the endless reading of Astraean history. I know plenty of history and lore from this world thanks to countless hours of playing Last Legacy and stalking forums, but I don’t think I could’ve convinced Felix of that without having to explain what video games are let alone the internet. He thought if I were to learn magic I should at least know part of its history and it’s contribution to their society. 

Despite spending some time with Felix I'm still amazed at the attention span he has for reading. I scan the room trying not to move too much lest I be scolded by the warden. I glance over at the high back chair across the room. The one Anisa sat me in after my jaunt through Felix’s portal and painfully onto Anisa's desk. My mind begins to wander. 

I’ve only been here a short time but I feel like I’ve adjusted well. I wonder what's happening on Earth. Does time pass the same at home like how it does in this realm? World? Alternate universe? I still don’t exactly know how to explain my predicament. Has anyone noticed I'm gone yet? I wonder if I’m on the missing persons list, someone at work will have noticed I didn’t show up for my shifts. I cringe slightly at that last thought, my open book now resting on my chest. Ah damn it, I’m definitely fired aren’t I. How am I gonna pay my bills.... and my home, I miss my bed....my plants. SHIT MY PLANTS. I bring my hand to my face and cringe, my beloved house plants they’re going to wither away in my absence. Fate is such a cruel mistress.

“Bored of reading are we?” I slightly jump at Felix’s comment. I bring my hand down and look at him. Staring at me through his glasses a smirk on his lips. I flush slightly and close my book.

“No I just, got to thinking about Earth, and my life, I guess I’m just a little home sick,” I mumble out those last words. I want to be honest with Felix but I don’t want him beating himself up for my situation. I mean yes he is the reason I’m stuck here but I don't hate him for it. Felix frowns and closes his own book.

“Ah... I am sorry about that, I-“ I sit up interrupting him.

“No no no, I'm not mad at you, I’m actually quite enjoying my time here. I mean I don’t have to make drinks for annoying customers everyday here,” I force a laugh but it comes out awkwardly. Felix gives me a quizzical look. I then realize, with the amount of times he calls “dear barista” I just assumed he knew what it meant. “Yknow, my job? A barista?” Felix flushes and avoids looking at me.

“I must admit.. I do not actually know what that is,” I cant help but chuckle, the great necromancer Felix, is embarrassed to not know something.

“Well my dear teacher," I emphasize the word teacher mimicking the way he calls me, "allow me to educate you on some Earth information,” I sit cross legged and scoot closer to him book in my lap. Felix adjusts to face me properly and removes his glasses. I clear my throat and smile at him. “My part time occupation of being a Barista, requires me to make drinks for customers and sell them, more often I make coffee but sometimes people order tea. We sell pastries as well,” Felix gives me yet another confused look.

“All you do is prepare drinks and flakey confectioneries?” I nod in response with a smile, I can only imagine what he assumed a Barista was. Felix chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “All this time I thought it was something more complicated, you described your customers as being annoying? I am assuming you do not like this particular job?”

“Well, I don't hate it but the customers can get a little rude and for the dumbest reasons too. One time a woman threw her drink at me claiming I added 3 1/2 shots of espresso and rather than 3,” I laugh to my self looking back at the memory, chuckling more when I see Felix’s horrified expression.

“A woman... threw a drink at you? Because she deemed it made incorrectly? I did not except Earth customs to be so. . . Barbaric,” Felix looks at me astonished and confused but all I can do is laugh. “And why are you laughing? Are you alright did she hit your head when she assaulted you with a beverage?” Felix is now standing while I clutch my stomach in pain, the combination of the story and Felix’s confusion is too much to bare. After a minute I manage to calm down enough to speak.

“No no, she did not hit me in the head, I’m just laughing cause it was funny, well at the time it wasn’t but my co workers took pictures and I looked ridiculous. I can laugh about it now,” I wipe a stray tear from my eye as I recount the experience. Thank god her drink was iced. 

“Picture?” Felix chimes in. I try to think of how to explain how photography works but I come up with an idea.

“Why don’t I show you?” I stand handing Felix my book and I jaunt over to Anisa’s desk. I let her peruse my backpack because she seemed so interested in my “Earthly items” as she called them. I walked back over and sit on the floor, patting the ground next to me so Felix can join. 

“You known there is a perfectly good sofa right next to you, I don’t understand why you wish to sit on the ground like we are mere children,” but despite his protests Felix sits next to me still clutching our books. I rummage through my back tossing the other items to the side. My wallet, a flyer, a jacket, that granola bar which has definitely crumbled to pieces in its package. Until I finally find it, my phone. My first night here I instinctively tried to use it, forgetting I am now stuck in a world without wifi or cell towers. In an effort to hopefully conserve its battery I hard shut off my phone I did not think I would need it but now is an opportunity for me to educate Felix about my world rather than his and tell him a little about myself. Really I just want a reason to prolong my time from reading anymore history. I hold the power button and silently pray. Please have some battery left, please please. Felix is leaning towards me, his face inching closer to mine, I glance at him studying his expression. He looks confused, and curious at the same time, there's a slight scrunch in his brow like he’s trying to seem like he understands what I’m doing, but I know he doesn’t. In that moment his eyes meet mine, I turn my head to fully face him, a blush creeps up his face and I can feel mine begin to warm as well. “Felix-“

BING

We both jump at the sound of my phone turning on. Damn phone, well I guess I kinda asked for that. Felix sits back and clears his throat.

“Um, what, what is that?” His voice wavers slightly but I choose to ignore it to save him some dignity.

“Its my phone, on Earth nearly everyone has one of these. You can use it to communicate with other people, take pictures, look things up, and listen to music.” I begin to unlock it and open my photo album.

“You can communicate with other people? On this... this flat brick?” Felix points accusatory at my phone the scrunch in his eyebrows have intensified creating deep crevices on his forehead. I nod while I scroll through trying to find the photo. 

“Yup and take pictures, such as this one,” I turn my phone to face Felix revealing the image documenting the after affects of being assaulted with coffee. He leans over to get a better look. In the picture I'm standing by the cash register, soaked through my clothes in an extra large coffee's amount of liquid. The brown liquid stains my apron and the parts on my white shirt poking out from underneath. There's smeared whipped cream going across my shoulder up my neck and partially along my jaw, and the scowl on my face could kill a man. The instant I show the picture to Felix he plants a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. He turns away in an attempt to hide his amusement but I know he wont last.

“Im-I must apologize I did not mean to laugh but, but the look on your face is hilarious,” Felix faces me again trying to hide his smile with the back of his hand. I start to chuckle, I turn the phone back to me and swipe to the next picture. Its a similar picture but in this one my co worker put whipped cream on top of my head, something about it “completing the look”. When I show this picture to Felix it breaks his terrible attempt of remaining poise. He laughs loudly, and it’s extremely contagious. I laugh along with him reminiscing in his beautiful laugh. Every once in a while we calm down until we look at the picture and we start up again. After a bit I’m able to calm down enough to speak.

“Don’t feel bad for laughing, at the time I was pissed but my co workers cheered me up and now I have these memories to laugh at,” I start to look through my album again as Felix calms down from his laughing high. I find more pictures to show him. Some are of me at work with my co workers, one picture of me laughing as I held a dog that jumped through the drive through window. I show him more pictures, some are of earth sunsets which Felix claimed to look like they belong in a painting. I also show him a picture of some Geese I saw while on a walk, and then a picture of said Geese chasing me. This gets Felix to laugh again but not as hard.

“You lead an interesting life on Earth, it seems similar to Sage you are also prone to provoke others into attacking you,” I roll my eyes at Felix’s joke and give him a friendly shoulder bump. Its at this moment I realize how close he’s sitting. Our books set aside and Felix is leaning on one arm politely looking over my shoulder at my phone, I can tell he doesn’t really understand how it works but it seems he’s enjoying this moment to much to ask. In an attempt to keep the sweet moment I change the subject.

“Hey do you want to listen to some Earth music?” With a nod from Felix I close the app and instinctively go to press my streaming app. Damn no Internet. I think for a second and remember I have some music I bought in times before streaming apps existed. I find the app and open it. Dear god my taste was cringey. I scroll through the songs until I stumble across a less than embarrassing song. “This is a classic where I come from, everyone has heard this song at least once. I lay back onto the floor so I can properly listen to the music. Felix looks at me and awkwardly lays down as well, I click on the song allowing it to play.

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Felix gives me a puzzled look but I just shrug and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and take in the song as it plays. If I concentrate hard enough I can imagine my self back on Earth. Sitting in my room listening to 80s music while I do laundry or cook my dinner. I start to feel nostalgic again but I try not let my emotions take over. The song ends and I pause it before it plays the next song. I roll onto my side and rest my head on my hand.

“So what’d you think?” I beam at Felix, I genuinely want to know what he thinks of Earth music, and more specifically a song that I am quite fond of. Felix is laying flat on his back, he ankles crossed and his hands laying on his chest. He looks nervous to be laying on the ground next to me but has made no attempts to leave.

“I thought it was... interesting to say the least. It had quite a captivating story although I was confused when the subject changed multiple times, and what exactly are they trying to “not stop believing” in” Felix does air quotes and seems genuinely enthralled in the “story” of the song. I smile and start to look for another song. 

“How about you choose the next one?” I tilt my phone towards him. Felix sits up at my question.

“I dont feel very well versed in Earth music though,” He mumbles. I shrug at his comment.

“Just pick one with a name that sounds interesting to you” I show Felix how to use the phone and hand it to him laying back down. I peek at Felix, he’s holding the phone in one hand and is scrolling with the other, he’s holding it like an old man. I watch his face, he’s thoroughly looking at every single song title and determining whether they are interesting or not. I find it... cute, his concentration face is cute. Oh if he caught me staring I know he would become a blubbering blushing mess, I mean I would be too. I close my eyes again as I wait for him to pick. 

“This one seems interesting,” I hum in response, but when Felix says the title out-loud and panic seizes through me. I sit up and shout WAIT but I'm too late. He already pressed it. And then I hear it.

That dreaded, infamous G note. Felix turns towards me surprised and hastily hands the phone to me, I pause it before another note can play.

“Hells MC what will that song make my head explode or something??? You nearly made my heart stop.” Felix takes a deep breath with his hand on his chest.

“I'm sorry, that song its kind of embarrassing actually,” I can feel myself flushing, I look away in embarrassment at the fact that I had that song downloaded and the fact that I nearly sent my teacher into cardiac arrest.

“Embarrassing how?” Felix looks at me puzzled. I open my mouth to speak but then stop. Hold on a second, Felix doesn’t know this band, let alone what an emo phase is. Well judging by his raven skull necklace he does but not in the way I do. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if we listened to it. I do still like their music. But god did it HAVE to be this song. I clear my throat and look back at Felix.

“Nothing, it’s nothing I was just being dramatic,” I stifle a laugh. “We can listen to it, I actually quite like this band,” Felix nods and turns to face my direction, were now both sitting cross legged and I press play on the song. I smile a little as the song plays and close my eyes again. I cant even remember the last time I listened to this song. My mind begins to wander again, to my younger years when I first heard this song.

 I was such a try hard back then, wanting so badly to “be different” but also to mend the emotional pain I was going through, and this band really helped me through it. This song is a little more narrative than the last one so I hope Felix would like it. I can’t believe I freaked out like I did god he must think I'm crazy, or maybe that lady really did hit my head when she threw that drink at me. As the song plays I silently hum to it, quiet enough so that Felix might not hear. I drink in the lyrics and instruments and it feels like I'm listening to it again for the first time. 

The song ends and I open my eyes again to pause the music before it plays another one.

“So what did you think of tha-“ before I can continue I'm stopped by the sight of Felix’s face. His eyes are misty and his nose is colored pink. Was he... was he crying? Felix looks at me and his eyes go wide. He quickly turns away and rubs at his face.

“There-there is quite a lot of dust on this floor, honestly you would think Annie would have any sense to clean in here every once in a while,” I cant help but smile, wow he really is a goth child. 

“It’s ok Felix, this song makes me cry sometimes too,” Felix side eyes me and sniffles.

“I-I was not crying, yes I admit the song was... moving to say the least…. But, but I will not be mocked by you for my emotions,” Felix turns to face me again refusing to meet my eyes, his voice turning accusatory. I scoot closer to Felix and place a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me astonished and slightly flushed, either from the contact or the crying, I mean dust, I will never know.

“Congratulations” I say with a smile. Felix’s puzzled look twists even more.

“What ever are you talking about,” Felix questions.

“You’re emo now,”

[mayraki]

⋆⁑lost in HALLOWEEN TOWN ⁑⋆

jj maybank x witch!au

~chapter one~

masterlist

“YOU’RE A WITCH?!”

✶ The mortal world is a weird place. Or at least that’s what Cordelia Cromwell, better known as Lia, thought once she stepped inside that world for the first time. She was excited to have her first assignment out of the academy. She wanted to do great, that’s what was expected of her after all, being the descendent of great and powerful witches and wizards wasn’t the best thing in the world. High expectations that she was afraid of not being able to accomplish, having to always be the best, and following into her family’s name were things that were always going to follow her and she had to learn how to carry them. But that was not all, unfortunate events would be the best way to describe her life. To almost caughting a classmate on fire because of a potion badly prepared, or just being chase by giant black bird out of nowhere. You could never guess the next bad thing that could happen to her, it was all unexpected.

But what was going to happen to her this next time, she definitely didn’t expect.

Outer Banks. That’s the place she had to live for the whole year. It happened faster than she ever imagined it could go, she tried to keep herself in her homework, since she had to do her mortal and magical to not seem out of the ordinary on her days at the OBX high school. But with a couple of tricks (literally) under her sleeve, she was able to do everything she had to do in time and do it perfectly.

A lot of people had questions about the new girl. She did appear out of nowhere with no family or old friends. She was the quite girl that didn’t talk in class, she was always writing in her old brown notebook, but if you came closer to her and tried to talk she was the sweetest girl with a smile on her face, but then being the nicest (and weirdest) she would walk out of the conversation, somehow leaving you confuse.

That’s how JJ Maybank felt everytime he tried to start a conversation with Lia. He had to be honest, it was weird for him to not be able to stop thinking about a girl. He was known to be the womanizer of his high school, always having a girl around his arm or ending up the party on some tourist room. But since Cornelia Cromwell appeared for the first time on that first of October last year, all his ideas and thoughts went flying like crazy and ended upside down.

The first time talking to her, he tried to do his “famous” flirt on her, but at his surprise it didn’t work, she just walked away with a smile on her face after kindly rejecting him. That caught his attention even more. He always tried to take every opportunity he had, that’s where he was on that moment: ready to ask Lia if she was going to go the Kegger he and his friends were preparing to start the weekend.

With his backpack hanging on one shoulder and his favorite red hat, he was looking at Lia taking some books from her locker. She had that sweet little smile she would always have on her face and those dark clothes that made JJ wonder how was she not burning from that heat with them. Another thing that made JJ curious.

He slowly but confidently walked over to her while his hands where on his pockets. Once he was next to her, she didn’t even look at him since she was too focus writing something on that old brown note book she would carry everywhere.

“Hey.” JJ said to make her look up.

“Hi!” She did a quick look to him without taking the smile out of her face, but then went back to her note book. All that confidence JJ had when it came to talking to girls was all gone, he felt like his tongue was twisting itself and his heart was starting to beat faster.

He noticed that she closed her locker with the intention to walk away, it’s now or never! His conscious screamed at him, so he spited his next words quicker than he wanted to. “Are you coming to the Kegger tomorrow night?”

Lia suddenly stopped to turn around and face JJ. “Unfortunately, I cant. I’m moving tomorrow.”

Suddenly the smile that JJ had disappeared from his face. “What? You’re moving?”

Lia nodded. “Yeah, back to my hometown.” Lia said with the intention to end the conversation but what JJ said backfired for her.

“Where’s your hometown?”

Lia looked with her eyes down but her head stayed put. “It’s far, far away. You won’t know it.” She noticed JJ got a little bit confused and before he would ask anything else, she added “I have to go. See you.” She gave him a little smile before walking away and leaving JJ behind, with a strange look on his face and following Lia with his eyes until she was out of his sight.

⋆ ⋆

“She’s leaving?” JJ asked once him and his friends, Pope and John B, sat down with their lunch at one of the tables. “I mean, she comes here for a year, has no family or friends, VERY weird, and then leaves? Who does that?” JJ sounded more frustrated than he wanted to.

“A lot of people do that, JJ.” Pope said. “Maybe she’s an exchange student.” He said giving the situation as little importance as possible.

“Maybe, but have you seen any old student that was here that left?”

“JJ, we don’t know everyone who goes here. I think the thing that’s bothering you is way more than just the fact that it’s weird that she’s here and why.” John B said before taking a big bite of his sandwich.

“Then what’s that, genius?” Pope and John B let out tiny laughs before giving each looks. “What?” JJ asked confused.

“C’mon, your practically been trying to get closer to her every day since you saw her for the first time.” John B said.

“No, I haven’t.” JJ quickly shook his head.

“Yes. Inviting her to parties, asking her for the homework, sitting next to her.” Pope was naming while counting with his fingers. “It’s not news that you have a little crush on Lia.”

“What?” JJ asked with a high pitched voice and then cleared his throat. “I don’t. I just- want to make her feel welcome.”

“Yeah, that could count if it was the first week she came here, it’s been a year. That’s not normal for the JJ we know, something weird is going on there.” Pope pointed at his head once JJ rolled his eyes and was about to say something, but then closed his mouth once he noticed Lia walking into the cafeteria looking down to her brown note book.

“Oh! It’s like he’s under a spell!” John B let out a loud laugh once he saw the state of his friend. “This is more serious than we thought, Pope. Our friend is in looooove.”

“Shut up! I am not!” JJ complained while his friends were laughing.

“Ow! Look! She’s walking, she looks so pretty!” Pope said trying to imitate JJ’s voice. “I wish she could look at me like that old book!”

“Hey! I don’t sound like that and I would definitely never say something like that!” JJ complained but John B and Pope couldn’t stop laughing and there was nothing he could do to stop them, so he got up from the table with his unfinished meal.

“Oh! C’mon! We’re just messing around!” Pope said but he still couldn’t stop laughing. John B tried to stop him too, but it was too late, JJ was already leaving the cafeteria behind.

Unbelievable! JJ thought on the way to his next class. He didn’t have to attend yet, since lunch wasn’t over, but he didn’t want to hear any more of his friends stupid words. It’s not like JJ was deeply in love with this girl, he just wanted to know more about her! Keep her close and make her feel comfortable. Of course, he thought she was pretty, it was the first thing he thought the first time he saw her... BUT HE’S NOT IN LOVE! Or at least that’s what JJ was telling to himself on repeat.

“Yes! I can’t believe I’m going back today. Can you? A year! It happened faster than I tought it would.” JJ heard Lia say before he stepped inside the classroom, but once he noticed the girl facing him with her back and a very bright light coming from the other side, he quickly left the room and stood outside next to the door. What the fuck?! He thought. Then, a boy talked but he didn’t fully understand what he was saying, he was trying but then Lia talked again. “I miss you too.”

Great. After feeling down about her leaving he now had to hear about her talking to some guy about how much they missed each other...

“Yeah, I have the stone.” She said.

Stone? JJ furrowed his eyebrows confused.

“Yes, I already prepared everything so I won’t miss the time. I’m going to go after school... I really want to see you Jervis.” Lia said. JJ let out a tiny sigh. Who was this Jervis? Was he Lia’s boyfriend from back home? And what time she didn’t want to miss? All those questions were going on on JJ’s mind but no answers. He was so into his head, that he didn’t realize that Lia was now out of the classroom and was staring at him and his very weird and confuse expression.

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“What were you doing there? I heard you talking.” JJ said and soon realized how crazy he sounded. He looked like a stalker.

“Oh? Back there? I was just talking to myself.” She said like it was normal, but when JJ looked at her even more confused, she added “What? You don’t do that?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Then you’re the weird one.” And just like that, again, left JJ behind confused as ever.

⋆ ⋆

“I’m telling you guys!” JJ said while the Pogues were going back to John B’s house, the Chateau. “She wasn’t talking to herself! I heard the voice of a guy. And that weird light I saw? What the hell was that?”

“Ok, JJ.” Pope said. “This is getting out of control, you’re stalking her now?”

“I wasn’t stalking! I just- I just happened to be there resting against the wall while she was talking.” JJ defended himself, but Pope just rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying! It’s not normal.”

“Dude! Get over her!” John B slapped JJ’s shoulder. “She’s leaving, c’mon! We have a party tomorrow, you’ll get drunk and end the night with a girl around your arms like you normally do.”

Even if that sounded like a good plan for JJ, he didn’t want to. All he could think about was Lia and those words and that strange light he saw. Curiosity was killing him, he wanted to know more. That’s why on the next day of school, he got up quicker than he ever did from his bed to go to school and wait for her to walk through those big doors of the school. But, she never did.

Class after class passed and she was nowhere to be seen. The thought of maybe her leaving already crossed his mind, but then remembered her saying that she wasn’t going to go after school. So, what was she doing now?

He didn’t want to go to his last class, he spent the entire day looking for her and thinking so much that he found himself getting tired. It’s not like it was something new for his teachers to not see him in a class, so he walked out of the doors with his backpack on his shoulders. He looked up once he was finished walking down those long stairs to find the principal outside a couple of steps away from him. So he quickly walked away to the side of the building, making sure no teacher was around, he kept walking hoping to lose the principal and finally be free. He kept walking and walking back but then once he found himself touching some old branches and looking at some huge trees he furrowed his eyebrows confused since he never noticed those trees at the back of the building. But figured, if he wanted to escape the school, what better way than to go into the creepy little forest that he never saw.

He took some steps inside, ready to find his way back to the Chateau to wait for his friends, but when a light hit his eyes that made him almost close them entirely, the remembered the light that was coming from when Lia was talking on the classroom the day before.

Yeah, JJ. Follow the mysterious light that’s coming from the deep of the forest. Great idea. He thought, but it was too late, since he was way more deep inside. That’s when he heard a familiar voice too, Lia’s voice. But he couldn’t understand what she was saying, so he tried to get closer to it. Once she was on his sight, he hide himself behind a tree to try and understand what she was doing by herself in the middle of forest. She had her backpack on her shoulders but that’s all he noticed, since the bright light was making him squint his eyes. He felt the need to see more, so he took some steps to get closer to her and be able to see what she was doing.

Her hands were holding something, while her eyes were closed. A little wind started to blow and move her hair and black skirt. He then felt some leaves touching his bare legs and that made him look down, but when a sound hit his ears, like some sparkles exploding he looked up and what he saw made him moved back from the tree he was hiding behind.

A big gold circle was now infront of Lia but she wasn’t looking up just yet, she was still concentrating with her hands touching each other. But after a couple of seconds, she opened her eyes with a proud smile on her face.

“What the hell?” JJ said still surprised and confused. But he got the courage to get closer to her and the big circle. He noticed that Lia took a deep breath before letting her hands drop to her side and that’s when JJ noticed that she was holding a purple shiny stone. The stone. That’s what she was talking about yesterday.

He looked up to her face and then at her feet when she took some steps closer to the circle. “Wait!” JJ yelled. He didn’t know why, but for some reason he quickly ran towards her and grabbed her hand, and on that moment he felt like the air was getting tighter around him. He closed his eyes when he felt himself jumping, but he wasn’t hitting ground, he felt like he was... flying? The air was getting thicker and thicker to the point that it was getting harder and harder for him to breathe. He didn’t want to open his eyes afraid of what he might see. So he just waited and waited for that horrible sensation to be over.

Suddenly, his knees and hands touched ground.

“Ugh, I’ll never get used to that.” Lia said with her eyes still closed. She took a deep breath enjoying the lovely smell of her town, Halloween town. That smell of leaves and trees, of old wood and the noise of children walking around. “Don’t stress Halloween Town, i’m ba-AH!” She yelled once she opened her eyes and a boy was kneeled down next to her while looking around confused and scared as ever. His eyes were wide open and his mouth was slight opened. He was surrounded by trees and what looked like a giant pumpkin on the middle of a park, the air was thicker and the people around him definitely weren’t the people from Outer Banks.

Lia felt a burning coming from her hand and the stone shaking faster and faster. “Oh no no no no.” She dropped the stone to the floor once the burning was getting unbearable, and on that moment, the stone exploded leaving little pieces of it along the floor. “The stone!” Lia said kneeling down.

JJ couldn’t find anything to say. He was just to speechless and afraid. Where the hell was him?

“You!” He heard Lia pointing at him and then walking quickly towards him. She was angry, JJ noticed since it was pretty visible on her eyes. “What the hell?!” He got up once she got closer to her and grabbed the neck of his shirt.

“What!? Don’t touch me!” He said freaking out once he fully understand what just happened to him. “WHERE THE HELL AM I?” He yelled but Lia quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

“Shut up!” Lia said. “You’re in Halloween Town.” JJ tried to speak but her hand was making it impossible. “Do you promise to me that you’re not going to scream?” JJ nodded before calming a little bit. She slowly took her hand before JJ spoke again.

“What the hell is Halloween Town and what the hell was that?”

Lia quickly shook her head. “No, I’m going to be the one who’s going to make the questions now-”

“Really? I’m the one who’s in a different town after going through some weird shit and you’re going to do the questions? Yeah, sounds fair.” JJ said sarcastically but Lia didn’t care, she just rolled her eyes before continuing.

“Why the hell did you walked with me?”

“Oh, let me think...” JJ said pretending to think. “I got it! If a girl makes appear a circle in the air out of nowhere, that can make a boy wonder. You know? I don’t know why I followed you!” JJ said. “I just did!”

“You idiot! You clearly weren’t thinking! Oh my god, now what am I going to do?” Lia started to rumble more to herself than with JJ. “I have a mortal with me and I don’t have the stone to take him back, how the hell do you repair the stone!? Jervis has to know! Yes, Jervis. He’s going to kill me! The people! They can’t see you!”

“Wait wait wait.” JJ stopped her. “A mortal?! What the hell are you?!”

Lia covered his mouth again. “If you don’t stop screaming I will pull a spell on your mouth and I can’t guarantee you’ll speak again because I didn’t quite managed it yet.” She said quickly and when the word ‘spell’ came out of her mouth JJ’s eyes went wide open.

She slowly took her hand off his mouth and then he let out a tiny breath before saying in a loud whisper. “YOU’RE A WITCH?!”

Lia quickly nodded. “Yes!” She said in the same tone. “I thought that was pretty clear by now!”

“Oh my god. I’m with a witch in a strange town.” JJ said once his breathing was getting heavier. “What the hell?” He said while looking to his surroundings again. “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” He yelled once a guy with a pumpkin head started to walk with a women to the park. The guy stared at him confused and offended.

“Ha! Ha!” Lia faked a laugh. “He’s just kidding! Happy Halloween!”

“Glad you’re back Lia!” The woman yelled with a smile and after waving at each other the couple went back to doing their own thing while JJ was staring at them with his eyes wide open and a terrifying look.

“You know, maybe I don’t care that I can’t manage that spell yet.” Lia said more to herself that to JJ after letting out a big sigh. “Please, stop freaking out!”

“Ok, answer me this. Where the hell am I?” JJ asked still freaking out but trying to be discrete with his tone.

Lia was about to answer but when the blue sky turned black, they both looked up and then she said almost in a whisper. “You’re not longer safe, c’mon. I’m going to take you to my house.”

⋆ ⋆

The moment that JJ stepped inside the front lawn of a giant old house, he noticed it looked like those houses that you only see in horror movies that’s almost everytime abandoned, with green and orange bushes around, and a big stair that would lead you to the, also, big black door. With a dark forest behind it and no houses next to it, even if they only walked for ten minutes from that park he felt like he was in the middle of nowhere.

He thought the exterior of the house looked old and antiquated, but once he stepped inside the old furniture and dark red curtains made the place look even more scary than before. The living room was bigger than his entire house, he wanted to see more since it was the biggest house he stepped in in his entire life, but once Lia grabbed a tiny bottle from her backpack and started to spray it around JJ, all his focus went to her.

“What are you doing?” He asked confused, but she didn’t answer since she opened the front door and started to spray the perfume around the front lawn. JJ just stayed there, at that point he couldn’t be more confused than he already was, so he just waited for her to come back and answer his million questions.

“Alright, that should do the trick.” She said once she closed the door and started to close the curtains to leave the place even more darker than before, the yellow light coming from the chandelier was the only thing illuminating the house. If JJ didn’t felt more awake than ever, he would’ve just thought he was just having a very long dream. “Please.” Lia turned for the first time since they came into the house. “Do not touch anything.” She pointed at him with a serious look, he quickly nodded.

“Ok. But why?”

Lia took a deep breath before saying: “I think it’s best if I tell you everything from the beginning.”

“Alright, were am I?”

“I told you before, Halloween Town.”

“What the hell is Halloween Town?”

“Is in the name, JJ, a Town.”

JJ quickly nodded but then he furrowed his eyebrows confused. “How do you remember my name? I think I told you once.”

Lia shrugged her shoulders. “I have a pretty good memory.”

“Ok..” JJ nodded biting the corner of his lower lip. He had so many questions he didn’t know where to start, so he continued with the simpler one. “Where exactly is this Halloween Town?”

“Far.” Lia said after trying to come up with a word to not confuse JJ even more.

“Far from what?”

“Earth.”

JJ widen his eyes at the surprise. “Earth?! Are we in another planet?!”

“No, Halloween Town is not a planet.”

“ANOTHER UNIVERSE?!”

Lia thought for a second before answering. “Yes, but at the same time... no.”

“Nah, uh uh, I won’t ask any more questions about that. My head is about to explode. Alright, let me get my thoughts straight, first of all,” he started to count with his fingers “you’re a witch.”

“Correct.” Lia said innocently.

“A witch in Outer Banks. Sure, normal. A witch who makes a portal out of nowhere and after crossing it, it takes you to... Halloween Town.”

Lia nodded again. “Yes.”

“Totally normal, Yeah, that’s great. An everyday thing.” JJ quickly nodded trying to somehow convince himself.

“Lia?” JJ heard a male voice coming from the upstairs.

“Jervis!” Lia said in a loud whisper.

“Jervis?” JJ asked and then remembered hearing that name when she was in the classroom talking to the male voice. Does she live with her boyfriend?

“Lia!” A talk guy with huge dark hair appeared on the living ready to give Lia a big tigh hug. He was so excited to see Lia that he didn’t even notice the blonde guy that was also in the living room. “I missed you so much! How was the mortal world? You have to tell me everything!” Jervis looked dark and mysterious so the way he talked to Lia totally surprised him, since it didn’t go with his appearance. He felt invisible on that moment since neither of them were acknowledging him in the room, so he widen his eyes at the idea of Lia somehow making him invisible, but that idea went away once Jervis looked behind Lia and finally realizing JJ in the room. “Hi?” He asked confused while looking at JJ but then went back to Lia. “Who’s this?”

Lia let out a tiny fake laugh before walking closer to JJ and saying with an innocent smile. “You know me so well, cousin,-”

Ooooooh, cousin. Got it.

“You know how it’s not normal for me if I don’t get in some kind of... mess.” Lia said and Jervis face completely changed.

“What happened?”

“Weeeeell...” Lia said with a high pitch voice. “How do I explain it? Ok... this is JJ. And he saw me opening the portal to come here and accidentally touched me when I was crossing and well... he’s here.” Lia said with a smile trying to take the situation less dramatic than it really was.

“What?!” Jervis asked. “But... the stone! At that hour it couldn’t have taken the energy of two people...!” Lia noticed how Jervis connected the dots on his own and then said after letting out a sigh. “It broke, didn’t it?”

“Yeah...” Lia nodded.

“How...? Lia!” Jervis was getting more frustrated. “How can you let that happen!? That’s very irresponsible!”

“I know! It’s my fault, but you have to help me get him back to Outer Banks. Help me with the stone.” Lie begged but Jervis wasn’t getting more calmer.

“Help you!? Lia! The stone isn’t just simple! It’s very advance magic that only the most powerful witches and wizards can do!”

“I know! I know! But I’m pretty sure there’s a book than can tells us about the stone! We just have to find it.”

JJ for the first time felt guilty for what he did. He appreciated Lia taking the blame for him since in reality it was his fault for taking his nose where it didn’t belong. Even if he didn’t understand a word they were saying he just stayed there listening to every word they were saying carefully.

“Find it? If there’s a book on the stone it has to be on the forbidden part of the old library. You’re a minor! You can’t go in there.” Jervis covered his face with his hand trying to calm himself and think of a better solution, but then Lia talked again.

“Cousin, I’ve been to the forbidden part of the library before.” Lia said like it the easiest thing in the world but when Jervis looked at her surprised, JJ noticed that maybe it wasn’t.

“Alright.” Jervis said after letting out a big sigh and then turning with his head to look at JJ. Jervis’ dark black eyes were making JJ feel a little bit intimidated, like he never felt before. Well, only with someone else- “maybe you should tell your friend here, JJ, if I’m not mistaken, what is going on. He looks like he’s seen a ghost. But believe me, this is nothing compare to those creepy things.” Jervis shook his hands around his body like he was pushing something away.

“Yeah, JJ.” Lia called him and he turned to her. “Maybe you should sit down.” The three of them walked to where the big dark red couch was in the living room. Lia pointed at it to tell JJ to sit down while she and Jervis were in front of him, on the other couch. “Ok. To take you back to your home we have to repair the stone that gives me the ability to open the portal, it broke since that particular stone didn’t had the energy to teletransport two people at once.” JJ noticed some anger in her voice but then she took a deep breath and then continued. “We have to fix it immediately, because once October is over, you won’t be able to go back.”

“What?” JJ asked shook. “But today’s October 31st!”

“Yeah! No shit!” Lia said. “That’s why we hav-” she was saying but was cut off once the room became even more darker and the window started to shake a little bit. “Oh.” She said almost in a whisper.

“Shit.” Jervis said before getting up and walking away from the living room.

“What?” JJ asked confused and a little bit scared at the sudden change of the room.

“There’s something else.” Lia said looking back at JJ. “There’s a thing that’s going to be after your while you’re here.” She said innocently before letting out a tiny smile to not scare JJ, more than he already seemed to be.

“What?!” JJ quickly got up from the couch and started to look around.

Lia did the same to walk closer to him. “Don’t worry! They’re extremely powerful and they can smell you faster than any creature in the magical word... but, they’re not as powerful in the day as they are in the night.” She said trying to comfort him but that didn’t help him, since he started to look around even more scared.

“Yeah, that doesn’t help me much.” JJ said.

“They’re called Tenebris.” Jervis said once he walked into the living room with a big book on his hands. He quickly opened it after leaving it on the coffe table at the living room. “They’re very awful creatures, and they... look like this.” Jervis pointed at a drawing on the book so JJ could see it. He noticed that the said creature looked like some kind of thick smoke and a pear of red dots in the middle of it. “And like my cousin said, they can smell you. But I have a potion that could take away your sent for almost eight hours.”

“Can we just go to the authorities or something!?” JJ asked when his heart started to beat faster.

“Calm down, will you?!” Lia said. “We can’t, if we go to the authorities to say to them that I brought a mortal to our world they would easily take you to the Tenebris themselves.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, they don’t like outsiders even if this stupid thing can’t hurt us and a mortal is practically harmless. They only care about them and themselves only.” Lia let out a tiny sigh. “Welcome to the real world, my guy.”

“I’ll prepare the potion so you two just... do something and don’t bother me.” Jervis said before grabbing the book but then quickly stopped. “Grandma!”

“Shit! When is she coming home?” Lia asked widen her eyes.

“Later, so if you see her make sure to hide him.” Jervis pointed at JJ and then left the room.

“What?” JJ asked. “Is she with the authorities or something?”

Lia quickly shook her head while letting out a tiny laugh. “No, over her head body. She’s just.... a lot to handle.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she’s not just called like the wicked witch of the east for nothing.”

“Wait... What?” JJ asked. “What’s her name?”

“Evanora. Now, c’mon, let me take you outside. We have to make sure you’re not in a single place for too long, otherwise your smell is going to spread even more quicker.”

JJ closed his eyes trying to process everything but then quickly opened them because Lia had already left the room. “I don’t know if I can be impressed anymore.” He said while following Lia to the front door. “I think that if you tell that you had lunch with Satan I would just nod and say ‘ok!’” JJ said expecting Lia to say that he was being ridiculous but once she opened the front door to walk outside she said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Oh, I had tea with Lucifer once. And, guess what, he’s still biter about getting kicked out of heaven. Like, c’mon! Get over it dude!” She said with an innocent smile and that got JJ’s heart drop to his stomach while swallowing a big chunk of saliva.

“I was wrong. I could still be impressed... and confused.” JJ said before following Lia outside, and with the thought in his mind... he was right. There was definitely something weird going on with the new girl.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆taglist ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

let me know if you want to be added!

@amberritonicole @pink-meringues @sortagaysortahigh @mdlyncline @k-k0129 @shelbsays @sweetlysilent @ifilwtmfc @thisismynerdyself @outrbankz @acvross-the-universe @rudyypankow @rae131415 @danielsharmannn @cordeliascrown @outerbankslut @chouetteschaussettes @lunaticlua @x-lulu

- and I took the liberty to tag those who liked the masterlist: @5sosbands @goldensk-es @behind-the-bleacherss @badbitsh13 @abbym2022 @kenzie-rivers101 @raconteuxr @katy-barrett @allcopsarebussies @adiaryofasimpykid @beeeee06 @ilovethiswitchytimeofyear @nuwanda-greaser @crazyforsnow @ayo-its-vicki @dharma-babe @but-nice-butt @rudysbay @gryffendorqueen011 @angel-earth @noturpoet @luvtonystark @purerepelsdirt @tmbquirky @idealmai @blueegansey @bloodthedevil @laurendaruler @cilorawr @sunneedazze @bhadlatina @xmmxlxlxtrx (+)

[devak66]

The Visit

Time for the third tale from the AU. This one involving tubbo visiting dream ooooo

Word count: 1383

The pop of lava was about the only thing he heard as the bridge he was on led him to his destination. Tubbo didn’t want to do this but he needed answers. The mode of transportation suddenly stopped once it reached the end. The maximum containment cell. Tubbo stepped off the bridge, keeping his gaze on the man inside as the bridge moved back to the other side of the lava moat. Once it reached where it had started, Sam called out “Once the lava is back down you'll be able to talk to the prisoner. Tubbo simply nodded. He was starting to regret this idea as he felt the lava pouring behind him, the residual heat on his back. He looked at the other in the cell, the divider had retracted as the lava had completely covered the entrance to the cell. The prisoner was first to speak

“I wasn't expecting you of all people to come visit me” Dream spoke, his expression unreadable from behind the mask. Tubbo was honestly surprised he got to keep it, seeing how Sam had been so thorough about nothing being brought into the prison. Tubbo honestly didn't know what to say. This man had done so much and Tubbo had prepared so many questions so he did not get overwhelmed in panic of being so close to the man who had threatened his last life. “So, are you here to gloat? You’ve finally won”

At that point, Tubbo had finally found his voice “No. I actually need to ask you some questions”

“Oh? About what? About how I sleep at night? The answer is not as well as i used to”

“No” Tubbo repeat “I want to specifically ask you about Ranboo” This caught Dream off guard, before he could question why, Tubbo added “He had a dreamonic transformation and i want to know if you were involved with that.. Somehow”

“He.. he actually transformed” There was a hint of a smile in Dream’s voice. Not a mocking or cruel tone.. If anything.. It seemed proud “What triggered the transformation?” he asked Tubbo

“I.. thought it had something to do with you,” Tubbo was worried about what Dream would say. He had been mad at how willing to attack Fundy had been, but he was right. If Ranboo is as dangerous as any other dreamon.. He’d have to be dealt with.

Dream shook his head “That’s not how dreamons work. The first dreamonic transformation, well technically any to a dreamon not trained to control it, has an emotional state that will trigger it. It can be anything from wanting to defend themself to simply stress. So. What caused his transformation?”

“I, in all honesty, have no clue” Tubbo admit “Fundy messaged me about a dreamon and when i got there i found Ranboo like that”

Dream was getting angry with what he heard “you have to be fucking kidding me”

“What is it?” Tubbo was concerned

“I told fundy about Ranboo in a moment of damn trust” Dream said “what im fucking saying is Fundy probably asked him questions that he couldnt answered and caused the fucking transformation” Dream was getting pissed, the roots of his hair starting to go white. Dream noticed Tubbo starting to back away and took a deep breath to calm down, his hair going back to its normal light brown color “I’m calm. I’m good” Dream assured. He put a hand to the mask and traced along the crack going down the middle to part way past the center.

“I have a few more questions for you, if you don’t mind answering them” Tubbo was terrified at the idea of a potential dreamonic transformation when he had no potential of getting out safely

“Go ahead. I have nothing better to do” Dream said “When you’re done I’ll have a little offer for you”

Tubbo didn’t ask what that could mean, and immediately asked the first of the questions “What did you tell Fundy?”

“Simple. I told Fundy about Ranboo’s other half, which is dreamon” 

“How did you know it?”

“Dreamons can… sense it” Dream lied “Dreamons have a magical aura that normal folk cannot notice”

“If that’s true, you'd be able to say if there’s another dreamon in the area” Tubbo wished he had been able to bring a book, this information is incredibly valuable and if he could had taken notes on it

“Yes. But why would i tell you, dreamon hunter?” Dream is glad Tubbo hadn’t noticed the amount of lies Dream had made. Because, why would he lie? He’s not leaving. But he’s not lying for himself. If anyone knew that Ranboo was his brother… who knows what the people would do to him

“Why did you get so mad about what Fundy did?”

“I… Um.. cant let my pawn and fellow dreamon get hurt” Dream said, thankful that he had his mask to hide his expression for that blatant lie

Tubbo frowned “You know Fundy told me what you had told him”

Dream didn’t respond. How to get out of this situation… “I know Ranboo is your brother,” Tubbo said, studying Dream’s body language. He couldn’t read his face, because of the mask, so he’d have to find other ways to analyze how he’s feeling in the moment or if he’s lying

“That could have been a lie,” Dream said. He’s definitely tense but trying to not be too obvious

“But why would you say something like that” Tubbo replied almost immediately “I know how you are, green man, but i don't see the strategic point in telling him. On top of denying it afterwards. Maybe you told him and regret it afterwards”

“If you know me so well, you know how i'm always a step ahead of you”

“But i also know that even you can make mistakes. And your biggest mistake for this conversation was showing how protective you are of Ranboo” Tubbo grinned. Checkmate

Dream was quiet for a few moments before he sighed “fine. You got me. But put yourself in my shoes. The tyrant that is hated by all, if people knew ranboo was my little brother, how do you think that would go? It would be a repeat of everyone finding out who your father is'' he said blatantly

Now it was Tubbo’s turn to be quiet “But all you did to him”

“What i did was all for a reason. I don't need to explain myself to you” He took a deep breath “You said little Tantabus had a dreamonic transformation?”

“Tant-”

“You’ll want my help to help train him” Dream said “his dreamonic state will be difficult to keep in check without it, and i don't mean emotional training. Let me do this” “No..”

“You need me!”

“I don’t! Fundy snapped him out fine without you” Tubbo said

“How”

“You don't need to know”

“How did he snap him out, Tubbo” Dream was stern, staring at the goat hybrid

“By reminding him who he is” Tubbo replied, which made Dream laugh

“It’s not that easy. You need me. Ranboo was just tired, that's why he reverted to normal form”

“No!”

“Tubbo. You don't understand all i've done for ranboo! Let me do this!”

“NO! Just stop!”

“I’ve done everything for him! The lies i’ve said to keep him safe, the lives i've ruined to keep him safe- this.. this isn't helping, is it”

Tubbo was backing away “No.. i can't”

“Think about it, please. I'm not your enemy in this situation. I just want to help Ranboo.. I’ve missed him” Dream pleaded

“Sam!” Tubbo called out to the warden, he was done with this visit

“Tubbo.” Dream tried

A voice spoke over the PA system “are you done talking to the prisoner”

“Think about it.. Please… i want to help” Dream said

Tubbo kept his gaze on the masked prisoner “Yeah, Sam, i'm ready” He looked away from Dream.

It took a few minutes for Tubbo to be brought out of the maximum security cell. Sam studied the smaller male “Did everything go well?” Tubbo simply nodded, he had a lot on his mind. Sam led the way out of the prison, after a few minutes of walking, Tubbo piped up

 “Hey.. Sam? Can I ask you something?”

[gracelessfighters]

Dragonfly - Chapter 5

JJ Maybank x female!reader series

Summary: Things are weird between you and JJ for a few days, but all is forgotten when he turns up on your doorstep, covered in bruises again

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: ANGST - mentions of abuse and death, injuries, maybe some swearing I cant remember

A/N: I love writing angst as I can relate to it so much more and it helped my mood today isn’t great but I hope the chapter flows well enough and people like it - and as always feedback is appreciated :) (little flashback in italics)

Catch up: Chapters 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 

You woke up to the sun shining into your room, turning over you were met with empty space, you opened your eyes to see nothing where JJ had been laying the night before. You had agreed to go to John B’s together, why would he leave without telling you?

You sat up, not understanding why you felt so hurt at him leaving, you had helped him, and him you last night, but I guess now he was sober, he didn’t want your help. You couldn’t spend too much time thinking about this though, you needed a shower desperately and then you were still going to head to John B’s, whether JJ was there or not.

Only once you’d got into the shower, did your mind finally focus on the pain you felt in your arms, the one Rafe had grabbed now had a dark purple bruise covering a lot of the forearm, and the hand you had punched him with was also swollen and it ached. This was possibly the worst way you’d woken up in a while, but in all honesty you didn’t want to deal with your injuries or spend anymore time thinking about JJ. So you quickly finished your shower, wrapped a bandage around your hand, took some painkillers and got ready for the day ahead.

John B’s house was quiet when you got to it, most likely John B (and the others if they crashed there) were still asleep, and you didn’t want to wake them, so you made your way to the end of the dock where you sat and looked over at the water, lost in thought.

You had been looking out on a calm water, similar to the marsh you were looking at now, your mum at your side, sitting in silence whilst you both listened to the sounds of nature around you. The birds in the trees chirping their songs like they do every morning, the wind making its way through the trees, rustling the leaves as it went, and the early buzzing of the insects around you. This had been the lake where you’d had your moment with the dragonflies, it truly felt like a magical place to you, as if it was out of a fairy tale.

Your mum and you had spent many mornings like this, enjoying the calm before the day revealed what it had in store for you, it gave you a chance to breathe.

This particular morning, your mum had dragged you out of bed to go here with her, neither of you ever bothered getting your dad to come as he was the opposite of a morning person, and you kind of liked the ritual staying between the two of you.

You had been sat there for around 10 minutes before your mum started speaking, “No matter what happens in life never forget this place or what it means to us.”

You looked at her in confusion, “what?”

“Promise me, please, that you won’t forget this Y/N.” Her eyes seemed pained enough that you didn’t ask her anymore questions and said instead, “Of course I promise.”

At this response your mum had just wrapped her arm around you and kissed the top of your head, not realising you had felt a tear fall onto the same spot a moment later.

-

You were shaken from this memory when you heard someone call your name, their footsteps heading towards you. You cursed yourself for allowing your thoughts to move towards that memory, still not ready to face some of the pain you felt, especially in a place where someone could see, so with the footsteps getting closer you quickly wiped away the couple of tears that had fallen without you realising and turned to see John B approaching you.

You smiled at him, “Morning sunshine, how are you feeling today?”

“Better than expected actually,” he sat down next to you, “how about you? How’s the hand?”

“To be honest it aches a little,” you moved it in front of him, showing him the bandage, “but maybe worth it if Rafe feels worse this morning.”

He laughed, “God let’s hope so, I’m not sure his ego will easily recover from being hit by a girl in front of other people.”

You two fell into an easy silence for a minute or two before John B got up, clapping his hands together, “Right, I think it’s time we tried to wake up the others,” he held out a hand to help you up, “come on.”

You grabbed his hand with your good one and made your way back to the Chateau, falling back slightly when he first went inside, but you took a breath and went in.

The sight you saw made you smile, Pope was in an unnatural position asleep on the pullout with Kiara half off the other side, also sleeping peacefully.

John B was heading to what was probably the spare room, most likely for JJ, when you said to him, your voice hushed, “What’s the best way to wake them up without being killed?”

“No method I’ve ever tried has really worked so do what you want, but good luck and don’t let them kill you.”

You laughed, put your hand to your forehead and saluted him, “Yes sir.”

He was still laughing when he disappeared into the room, you looked down at the pair in front of you, assessing how you could wake them up. In the end you decided to risk their annoyance, as with the awkward way they’d been sleeping, there was room in the middle for you to jump.

You launched yourself onto the bed, falling down between them and jolting the bed enough that Kie fell off in shock and Pope managed to smack himself in the face. The anger on their faces didn’t last long as the cackle you’d let out at the scene you’d just witnessed was just as funny to them, so soon you were all sat there, Kie still on the floor, just laughing together.

“Why the fuck are you all so loud?” You heard JJ from the door, the silence died down, on your part it was from shock at how rough he looked this morning, you’d frozen when you’d seen the number of bruises on his face, and you dreaded to think what his torso looked like under the shirt he was wearing.

You made eye contact with him, before he could do or say anything though, you looked away, instead looking at John B who had given you a thumbs up for your method of waking up Kie and Pope. You gave him a big smile and bowed slightly, causing him to chuckle.

The rest of the day went by quite quickly, at first it was quite calm, the others recovering from the hangovers they had, luckily you’d always managed to avoid hangovers somehow, and then for the rest of the day you were all out on the boat.

Throughout the day you had felt JJ’s eyes on you, probably waiting for you to talk to him, but you avoided his eyes, still not sure you wanted to talk to him, especially with how your emotions had broken through your barriers that morning on the dock. On days that happened you were usually careful in avoiding any sort of emotional situation, and you felt like talking to JJ about why he had left without saying anything could become emotional, so even if it made you look a little bitchy, you did your best to avoid him.

Unfortunately Kie had picked up on how you were acting and pulled you to the side, away from the boys who were chatting at the wheel of the boat.

“Hey, what’s happened between you and JJ?”

“Nothing, I’m just not in the mood for his antics today.”

“Bullshit, you’re actively avoiding him, he has a face of a hurt puppy, the boys haven’t picked up on it cos they’re idiots, but I’m not.” She crossed her arms waiting for your answer.

“I don’t know why he looks like a ‘hurt puppy’ as you say, all I know is I let him stay round mine last night because I didn’t want him walking home in the state he was in, and when I woke up this morning he had already left, not even leaving a note.”

Kie was about to speak but you continued on, “and I’m being truthful when I say nothing happened, I’ve just had a difficult morning, and talking to him might make it worse, so I’m helping myself instead of him today. Okay?”

She gripped your hand, squeezing it slightly, “I can talk to him if you want?”

“No it’s honestly fine, I just don’t want to deal with him much today.”

“Okay then, we will relax together, and have a JJ free day.”

You smiled at her, thankful you’d met someone like her, someone who didn’t push too much and understood your wishes.

The rest of the day played out smoothly, JJ didn’t try and approach you, but the group as a whole had a good day out. Good enough that you were exhausted by the time you got home, quickly saying hi to your dad and avoiding him seeing the bruise on your arm, then heading to bed where you fell into a deep sleep very quickly.

—————

The next few days you were back at work, and you almost never saw anyone from the group, apart from Kie obviously, who you had a couple of shifts with, but you still hadn’t really spoken to JJ since the night of the Kegger. You now wanted to though, and it annoyed you slightly that he hadn’t tried speaking to you, probably thinking you’d still be slightly distant with him - but this whole situation was more due to him than you, you thought.

You decided that as you had a day off tomorrow, and were probably going to see the Pogues, you would try to talk to JJ then - at least try to get things back to how they were before the other night. The plan now made out in your head, you began to relax slightly, no longer feeling the awkward pang in your chest when you thought of him.

The rest of your work day went by without any issue, and by the time you’d had a pizza with your dad for tea, you still weren’t that tired, so instead of laying in your bed for another night in a row, you decided to go surfing.

The beach was quiet when you got there, nobody really out at this time, and you liked it. The night sky was reflected on the water, the sounds of the waves calmed your mind and heart, but it was only when you were about to step into the water that you realised the water might be too calm to surf. You didn’t want to go back home just yet though, so you left your board on the beach, and dove into the waves.

After being under the water for a minute, you resurfaced, treading water and keeping an eye on your position so the currents couldn’t move you too much without you realising; you stayed like this for a while, every now and then going back under water for as long as you could manage. Eventually your body began to tire, and you swam back to shore, grabbing your board from where you left it and got back into your car to head home.

—————

You were unlocking the door to your house when you heard movement behind you, you tried not to react, instead thinking about what you could use to protect yourself if needed, unfortunately all you had were the keys in your hand, so you turned around, ready to see what was behind you.

The sight was not what you expected, it was worse, you were frozen as you looked at JJ, blood running down his face, new bruises already forming over the ones from the other night, he wasn’t putting much weight on one of his legs and he had tears in his eyes.

Quickly shaking yourself out of the shock you had felt, you rushed towards him, “Holy shit JJ, what’s happened? Are you okay?”

His voice was gravelly, as if he’d been shouting, or screaming you thought with a shiver, “I went to your window but you weren’t there, so I waited here - I can go if you want.”

“Absolutely not,” you took his hand, already pulling him in the direction of your house, “I’ll clean you up again, yeah?”

You had turned to see if he was going to answer, but all he did was nod slightly, a tear falling down his cheek. The sight broke your heart and it took all your willpower to not cry as well.

He was silent - silent when you indicated for him to sit on the counter like last time, silent whilst you cleaned out his cuts and put ice on his wounds, silent when you led him into your room and sat him down on your bed. The only noises he ever made were sniffles or a hiss of pain when you cleaned out a bad cut.

You didn’t know what to do, whether you should ask him if he wanted to talk or to leave him alone completely. You crouched down in front of where he was sat, eye level with him, “Hey, will you be alright if I leave you for like five minutes? I’ve been in the sea so I kinda need a shower, but I don’t have to if you want me here with you.”

He looked at you, and shook his head and pointed back to the bathroom, showing he was fine with you leaving. You weren’t used to this quiet version of JJ, it unnerved you and made you want to break down in tears, but you couldn’t, at least not in front of him. So in the few minutes you were in the shower, you allowed a few tears to fall, heartbroken at the sight of him like this, but by the time you were back in your room, there was no sign of the emotions you’d let out, you were just ready to help him in any way you can.

He had settled down into your bed when you got back, the bruises on his chest obvious even in the dim light of your room, you made your way into bed next to him, laying on your side so you were facing him.

“You obviously don’t have to talk about it, but if you do want to I’m here for you.” He looked at you and the hand you’d held out for him to hold if he wanted it.

He put his hand in yours, still not saying anything, so you squeezed it and waited.

After a minute or so, he began speaking, “Um my dad did this to me,” you couldn’t help but let out a gasp at this, “he does it to me quite a lot actually, it’s why I spend so much time at John B’s - tonight it was because I wasn’t in the best of moods and didn’t get him a beer when he asked, so he told me how worthless I am, and that he wished I was dead.”

He sniffled, avoiding looking at you after what he said, completely unaware of the tears that were falling down your face, no longer contained by your resolve.

You squeezed his hand, “I may not have known you for a long time, but I know for a fact you’re not worthless, and the world would be an awful place if you were dead.”

He looked at you, likely still not convinced about what you were saying, so you continued, “You were one of the first people I met when I moved here, and because of my mum’s death, I wasn’t in the best of places, but everyday I have spent with you and the Pogues since have made my life a happier place again, you have especially had a part in that.”

You smiled at him, and to your delight, he smiled back.

You two lay like that for a while, holding hands in a comfortable silence. To your surprise it was JJ who broke the silence, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” You looked at him confused

“For leaving the other day without telling you, I just panicked because you saw me vulnerable and you were being so nice, I didn’t want you to see me differently or something, so I thought I’d leave.”

Just as you were going to respond, he continued talking, “and then you wouldn’t even look at me the next day and I thought I’d really messed up, and I was going to talk to you, but I don’t know, I just couldn’t bring myself to.”

Before he could continue rambling, and making himself feel worse again you interrupted, “Hey, you hadn’t messed up or anything, yes I was a little annoyed at you leaving without telling me, but I knew you must of had a reason, and I was having other issues that day so I wanted to avoid emotions and stuff if that makes sense.”

“Yeh it does, maybe you can talk to me about that stuff sometime if you’re up for it, and I’m really glad I haven’t messed anything up because I think I might like you Y/N.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face, “That’s lucky, I think I might like you as well JJ Maybank.”

He pulled you closer, you put your head on his chest, careful not to hurt his bruises too much, and fell asleep like that, happy and content at the idea of being with the person beside you.

Taglist: @jellyfishbeansontoast @tangledinsparkles @k-k0129 @jjsbxtch @outerbankslove @obx-beach @emerald-xcd  @danicarosaline​ @belledutchess @teamnick​ @justcallmesams​ @claryherondaleparker​ 

[generouscoffeelove]

THE UNASSEMBLED WORDS

Things not always go your way they never even stay the same but you can make your mind to go with the flow u can make yourself to work within the things but sometimes it's hard to face the reality sometimes you are not ready to accept the situation, we all are never mature enough that we cant cry crying makes your mind healthy but overthinking only leads to depression and stress. People will say whatever will come in their mind but it's not always necessary to carefully listen to their opinions. 

When you are determined to achieve something and deep down you know that the path you chose is right for you then no one can divert our mind from those guts. People will depress you, they will tell you that u r wrong and their opinions are right bcz they can't see a person becoming more successful than they themselves. Nowadays no one is more sincere to you than your parents, not even your relatives.

Sometimes I think about the day when I will achieve my dreams but then what if I have no more plans to move on ? what if i get the person i love but what after that ? as i will be near to it i will forget the hurdles and all the things i lost on the path towards my goal. Man is greedy, his requirements can never be completed bcz he wants more & more. If u want to get to ur dreams u have to listen to yourself only u dont care about the people and even if u hurt them u have no problem but then comes the deceiving part where u think that following your dreams might separate your family from u this fear of losing someone really special in ur life makes ur way turn back. I think it's the law of life u cant live happily if the people around u r sad. A person like me sometimes thinks that leave everything and go get whatever u want but in the end u have to come back. U will never forget where u belong and thats how u feel the existence of love.

 The first love relations with you are of the same blood. But how can u fall for someone so badly ? How can you love someone out there in this world more than those people who raised you ? This love can be of two types. The love relation with Allah and secondly the other with one of his people. How weird it is to think that we pray to get someone else in our lives instead of praying to get Allah’s affection. To be honest, pray for it and you will get the things you love automatically even if you love someone so badly. First put this in your mind that excess of everything is bad. It's only Allah who will give u everything and will never upset u but the people around u can love u the most but can also give u the pain that u cant bear. 

Everything happens for good. Maybe someone in your past who deceived you was there by Allah’s choice to make you strong and to make you prepared that nobody is there with you forever. People will always stay in search to get ur weak points but staying close to Allah will hide all of those mistakes on ur side which u made unexpectedly or even if u knew u should pray to be forgave and he will forgive u try to pray from the core of your heart. Nothing is more peaceful than crying in sujood bcz that is the moment when u feel hopeless and u dont have words to describe the society around u that how u feel. I faced a lot of times when i was compared and i was insulted but all i used to do was to stay silent and secretly in the heart say “ Ya Allah u should answer them”. Sometimes its good to stay quiet bcz the silence makes the people go crazy. The silence is breaked automatically by Allah. He himself shows the people that u were wrong.

 Not always u have to stay silent but when u r being doubted for a wrong reason or the person saying is crossing the limits listen 3 times but the 4th time smack his face. Bcz they deserve it. From my perspective rules should be for everyone, and the strictness u faced should also be embossed on the coming kids. It's not right to scold or insult someone in the middle where everyone is sitting bcz it makes you stressed and this is the fact where suicidal thoughts start to enclave even a young mind. I dont why im even writing this but the point is that i really don't want anyone to interfere in our lives and not even to scold us bcz they dont live with us they don't face the things we are facing right now, they cant live a week with us but after all they are right and they will never like to meet a person with empty pockets. To every individual on this planet earth, money is everything and money can buy happiness even. People will embrace you till the day u have money but the day u fall a little they will not even ask that are u ok or do u need any help. 

Life will change so will the people but the real face of people can only be seen when you stand in a tough time and they turn their backs away from you. We lived a great past life, we went to restaurants, we ate mcdonalds and shopped etc. so what everybody does when they have money. People should really look into themselves and then say a word to other people. At the end i would like to share a small verse with huge meaning from Quran that:

 In surah alam nashra

            “Beshak har mushkil ke baad asani hai”

            “Indeed after every hard time there’s good time”

People will stay with you till you are useful to them. the day u fall in need of help, some will help u only those who were sincere to u maybe it can be those people whom u never even noticed or they were not even in priority but they stand with u, they come into your life as angels. Because you wanted them and they were to be in your life by the grace of Allah. 

As you grow up u learn through experiences u learn to stand after crawling but not at once u fall u cry and then u get up, u stand at ur own. As a kid, u are learning actually u are learning throughout your life; from people and mistakes. U are not living until u fail.

 U learn to live through love and failures. Love is the road which can give u the best memories to laugh and cry on, but the bumps can give u those bruises and wounds which will heal but the pain will last forever. The time is cruel after u lose someone u love, and even more when the loved one becomes part of your routine. U cannot live without food as well as love. It's easy to console the broken person but it's not possible to feel the pain as that person is feeling. During this time the emotions are at level best of depression and stress if u cant be nice to them then better stay away bcz they can even harm themselves.

Love is very important in life. If u love someone but can’t tell bcz of some fear.

The fear can be of being rejected or it can be the matter of pride. The matter of our reputation is very sensitive, especially for a girl. A small mistake can break the entire reputation which was made from long and hard work. But people will only bring up the flaws bcz they need a topic to talk on. More importantly,the thing that matters is peace with the reputation u hold, if u have reputation and money but u still feel alone u are not fine. 

The hardest part in life is to live without the person whom you cry for days and nights but you can't tell bcz u are afraid of losing the reputation u hold. It's not wrong but it's killing u deep inside. U keep smiling but its only breaking you. It's funny cuz u are ruining yourself. Less to be worried bcz u are being destroyed by love. The part that hits hard and it's all about fate. Being compared to a less experienced person is bad bcz u know that the person hasn't faced any of the circumstances as u did.

“A dream is a wish that your heart makes”

For loving someone you don't have to be perfect. U dont have to change yourself bcz u know that person will accept u no matter what. This is the belief that love brings into our soul. Love happens; it never asks you who I should be with. It's the beauty and the magic of eyes which makes u staring. A fact says that if a person misses you they appear in your dream and if you think about someone alot it means that person was thinking about you first. I believe a lot in these facts bcz they happen a lot. The real fun and peace in love is by burning in the fire of awareness. U keep waiting for the other person to make a move but what to do if the other person is waiting for u. 

Okay, I know I'm talking rubbish right now. It's currently 3:14 a.m. and I'm unable to sleep. I'm not in the mood to write in my diary so it's better to keep on writing to keep yourself busy. Life is not in the mood to study all i want to do is to explode up and cry i know why but tears seem to be dried and i no longer have emotions my mind just wants to fall into midnight in a deep conversation with myself or with a trustworthy my heart seems to beat for some reasons that keep giving me the same tensions which i want to remove. It feels like my soul is whirling like a storm. I don't know what to do to scream or to cry or to stay awake or sleep. Sometimes i just want to stay up and think about my future and the choices I'm making but i don't have leisure time. 

Hard times will not stay with you forever but at every point of ur life they will make u realize that don't forget where u belong and what u survived in ur past. U can never forget your past bcz ur weakness makes u strong. It's better not to expect alot from people. They can bring u disappointment only or a bit of what u were expecting. U cant eat when ur hands are tied u have to make a move to eat and feed your hunger nobody else is going to do this for you.

 Be independent. It's an easy sentence with two words to say but it requires all of your life to be courageous enough to face the coming hurdles. U are going to face many challenges .

“if ur life got harder congratulations !! u just leveled up”.

 Smile even if there are 1000 reasons not too but this time during these days it seems to me as if I'm the shining star alone in the sky where clouds are trying to dull my spark but i keep shining the clouds hide me but then i come back. The mechanism of nature also teaches you many lessons of life. If you think deeply, the sun teaches you that after every dusk there is dawn. The sky can't show the glitter of stars without night. The moon tells you it's good to go through phases. The black clouds teach u that when u are loaded after going through many stages its ok to let everything pour out through tears. The average rain can bring happiness to the beings on earth they will feel calm but if it rains more than normal it destroys the belongings of human.Similarly, if we cry normally it freshens our mind but the excess of it leads to depression and damage of internal conditions and peace.

“Excess of everything is bad”

I don't know when girls felt peaceful in their lives, enjoyed and cherished the most beautiful moments of their lives. All the time they have to worry about something even if it's health,dressing,family,friends or some sort of harassment. She cant feel free to live. Talking to a male about life and studies is a crime and is considered something related to flirting and to be feel ashamed on. Something for which the parents can't speak on if they want to. The people thinking in this way for someone's daughter should think that in future they will also have daughters and what if this will happen to them. If today you consider someone else your daughter or sister honestly u have a peaceful and beautiful future.

But if u see girls as some material to be used and thrown u were born to be wrong then even if u say urself muslim or human look at ur habits and inner person it is more worse than animal. You have to change yourself first to change the people around you.

[joy1579]

the RFA bois react to empath MC

so in this context im gonna say MC is an empath in that she can feel other peoples emotions. they feel separate from hers though as she’s had a lot of time to learn to compartmentalize her emotions separate from others. she can also promote emotions to other people but not force them. think of it like the difference between being near a small campfire and wrapped up in a blanket in you house. if your feeling sad she can help you feel a little better help you not slip too far into depression but she cant solve the problem. if your surrounds by cold sadness she can be a small campfire to warm up next to until you have enough strength to make it home. some people can tell the difference between her promoted feelings and their genuine ones but its difficult and often takes a lot of practice.

I might add jaehee and Saeran a bit later. if you guys want me to leave a comment. otherwise i’ll probably move on to my next project.

oh and master list

Jumin

Curious, defensive, once he accepts it he’s thankful that you can understand his feelings so easily

-        He doesn’t believe you at first. At least he says he doesn’t but you can feel his curiosity

-        You tell him to ask any questions he has and he does

-        “Can you make people feel something?” Sorta but not really, I can promote or encourage feelings but not force them

-        “Can you tell when people lie to you?” it depends on why their lying. I can fell maliciousness and that can tell me if their lying.

-        “Have you ever used this power on me?” You can feel the anxiety behind that question. He doesn’t want his love for you to be something you created. You don’t have to be an empath or a mind reader to see that concern.

-        I can’t turn off feeling other people’s emotions that’s how I knew how much you were hurting. “you know that’s not what I’m asking MC”

-        You sigh defeated yes, but it isn’t what you think. I didn’t make you love me; I could never do that. there isn’t a point if those feeling aren’t genuine. I tried to calm you down, make you feel more safe and secure. You were so anxious I couldn’t stand to see you so hurting like that so I tried to encourage peace

-        You could feel him processing that, you watched as his grim and serious face slowly melted into the gentle smile you loved you could feel his warm and soothing love

-        can I show you something? I, I’ve never done this but I want to try to make you feel how I feel about you.so you can understand “you may”

-        you instructed him to breathe deeply. The way he did when he meditated (a hobby he had begun after reading about it in a book about Romanian vampires)

-        it’s easier if your empty and open. A blank slate to receive what I’m projecting are you ready?

-        He nods and you start. You pour every ounce of energy you have into showing him how much you love him the warmth in your face when you catch his eye, the tingles in your fingertips when he kisses you, the giddy bubbliness in your heart when he makes those silly dry jokes of his and last the hunger in your blood when he smirks at you.

-        When you stop sending him your feelings you can feel them mirrored back at you with their signature Jumin charm.

-        His face may not burn but he’s never found it difficult to fight a smile before he met you, his fingers may not tingle but they twitch with the need to hold you, and he feels that same giddy bubbliness when you laugh at his jokes, last but certainly not least you feel the aching need for you when you glance at him slyly

-        You laugh at the cosmic ridiculousness of it all, you two felt so similar yet so different two sides of the same coin.

-        You wouldn’t have it any other way

 Yoosung

Embarrassed, thinks you can mind read, tries to not think anything naughty thinks EVERYTHING naughty

-        When you tell him he turns bright red and you almost choke on the embarrassment he’s feeling

-        Why is he so embarrassed though? you don’t get it feelings aren’t embarrassing

-        “so you um you know all my thoughts?” oh okay now you get it he doesn’t understand

-        No I can’t read your thoughts I just feel your emotions, like if your happy I can feel your happiness or if your sad I can feel that sadness

-        “so um can you feel if I feel um like nope never mind no its nothing I’m going to go study”

-        Now you’re curious so while he’s studying your focused on him searching for something anything beyond the pure embarrassment he’s feeling

-        Slowly you can feel a small piece of his emotion a wavering flickering determination to hide something

-        You don’t approve of spying. But he was acting so strange you were worried. So you watched him for the rest of the evening as you scampered around doing everything in his power to stay busy and avoid you

-        You can’t keep avoiding me forever Yoosung what are you so afraid ill feel that I haven’t felt already

-        That’s when he locks eyes with you and you can feel his need ;) at the same time that his face flushes a near impossible shade of red

-        “MC can you feel when I have naughty thoughts?” He blurts clearly a little panicked

-        You can’t help but giggle because you can feel his nervousness under laden by the obvious thoughts he’s been trying not to think

-        Only when you think about them really hard *you wiggle your eyebrows at him*

-        And now you’ve broken him he’s a puddle of embarrassment on the floor you should probably stop teasing him now

-        Yoosung listen if you’re worried about me thinking your weird, or not feeling the same way myself. You don’t need to. Honestly most of the time I feel how sincerely you love me, how much you enjoy being with me, how much you cherish me. Every now and then I feel you get a little needy and to be honest, I feel the exact same way. I love you of course I feel that way sometimes.

-        Then his lips are on yours and your drowning in the intensity of his emotion

-        How can such a cute and innocent looking boy feel so, hungry. You have to admit its intoxicating

-        you hold him tight against you and try to make him feel your love the way you feel his love right now

-        you don’t know if it comes through but you figure you probably have the rest of your life to keep trying.

-        At least if the devotion and love you feel from him is really as strong as it feels

-        You know better than anyone that feelings can change in the blink of an eye

-        But you have no intention of letting this go

Saeyoung

skeptical at first, he jokes about conspiracies and magic because they seem so far fetched to me so you’ll have to prove yourself.

-        when she tells him he doesn’t believe you

-        “prove it what am feeling right now” he said teasingly

-        Skeptical? You replied blandly it didn’t take an empath to figure that one out

-        Saeyoung laughed at that and you couldn’t help the bloom off love in your heart

-        “okay that wasn’t a good example” he joked “how about this what’s Saeran feeling”

-        “emotionally exhausted, a little depressed, but mostly apathetically curious

-        ... it’s the best he’s felt in a while to be honest but it’s getting better” you said solemnly

-        You felt his heart sink the all too familiar weight of guilt he carried quickly pushed aside to focus on more pleasant things

-        “that would have been a better example if I could fact check it but it seems right” he said with a glance to his brother lost at the computer in the corner of the room

-        I can try to affect your mood would that prove it? You offered

-        He brightened instantly at that “oh yeah! that’s a good idea bet you can’t scare me”

-        “I can’t force emotions but I can promote them so let’s try it out. First it’s easier if you clear your mind and start with a blank slate” you instructed

-        “my minds always a blank slate” he quipped giving you his signature goofy grin

-        you couldn’t help but laugh for a moment and you felt his pride swell at your giggling

-        after a moment you calm yourself down and begin to focus on proving your point

-        suddenly he’s stiff and trembling in front of you

-        “I don’t like that” he whispered stopping you immediately

-        “I’m sorry did I push too hard” you fretted

-        “I, don’t, I believe you just don’t do that again”

-        “of course I’m sorry” you promised worriedly

-        “I haven’t felt like that since, never mind I just don’t like it”

-        “here let me try something else something better”

-        This time you sent warmth, comfort and love. the feeling of stepping inside your warm home on a cold winter day. you can feel him beginning to relax into it and you hope this makes up for your earlier faux pas

-        “I recognize that feeling you’ve done this for me before”

-        you caught me I did this a lot when you were with me at Rikas place I didn’t like you feeling bad so I tried to help usually the calls helped with they didn’t I did this

-        he pulls you into his arms and hugs you tight you can feel his adoration and gratefulness

-        “you’ve been helping me since the beginning. thank you”

 zen

instant belief (because he has psychic dreams after all) probably falls more in love with you because you can completely understand his feelings

-        now he knows why you believed him about his psychic dreams so wholeheartedly with no hesitation

-        no one had ever believed him so quickly and honestly it meant so much that you had trusted him

-        then his eye’s glint and he asks if you can feel what characters are supposed to be feeling

-        you almost laugh at that but he’s serious

-        he thinks about how helpful that would be for his career, how easy it would make character analysis

-        you almost wish you could when you see how passionate and ambitious he is

-        but you shake your head and explain

-        “I have to be with the person”

-        He nods at that but you can feel his confusion grow mixed with curiosity so you continue

-        “and if there’s multiple people I have to work harder to focus on just the person I want to read.”

-        it’s in this moment that clarity dawns on Zen’s face you were so good at isolating people’s problems focusing on exactly who you needed to. the reason you were always so focused on him and his feelings was because you worked at it. You had practice.

-        You could feel his admiration though you weren’t sure what thoughts a brought it you had started talking and now it felt like you couldn’t stop you had never told anyone about how your power felt and now it was pouring out of you

-        “It’s like being in a crowded room and trying to isolate one person’s voice from all the others. it can be overwhelming because people don’t have inside emotions like they have inside voices. when something exciting happens in a movie, sometimes it feels like the whole theater is screaming.

-        “that’s why you hadn’t heard of me before we met. You avoided the theater because it was to emotional?”

-        “I couldn’t get into the story because the actors never felt genuine and I got a headache from all the people in the crowd it was easier to watch things at home where I couldn’t read people so easily”

-        “but you come see my plays now?”

-        You blushed at that averting your eyes “your acting is different. You actually feel the part. You make it easy for even me to believe you. if it’s you, I think it’s worth the headache from the crowd. If it’s you I think I understand how the crowd can get so worked up.”

-        He lunged at you and in a flash your back was against the couch as he loomed over you hungry and full of adoration he leaned down to whisper in your ear

-        “can you tell how I feel right now?”

-        You shut your eyes tight and nodded face red with embarrassment.

-        “then you must have some idea of how much I love you. still I’d like to prove it, if you’ll let me Jagi”

[somethingisnewunderthesun]

Swift

You could of loved me all my life if I hadn't left you waiting in the cold, I can tell you that Im sorry but you wont believe me baby like you did before.

The stakes were high, the water was rough. But That Love was Ours.

All this time, I never learned to read your mind, I couldn't turn things around, you never gave a warning sign/ you gave sooo many signs.

Ill take your hand and drag you head first, fearless. 

Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving? I think you and I should stay the same.

And I flashback to when we said, Forever & Always.

This is where the feeling sinks in, I dont wanna miss you like this. Come back. Be here. Come Back. Be Here.

You took the time to memorize me, my fears, my hopes and dreams. All those times you didnt leave its been occurring to Id like to hang out with you, for my whole life. I think that its best if we both Stay.

This is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying Im sorry for that night. Turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you, wishing i realized what I had when you were mine. If we loved again I swear id love you right. Id go back in time and change it but I cant, so if the chain is on your door, I understand.

Tell myself Its time now, gotta let go, but moving on from her is impossible when I still see it all in my head, Burning Red. Losing her was Blue like I’ve never known. Missing her was Dark Gray all alone. Forgetting her was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving her was Red.

She cant see the smile Im faking, and my hearts not breaking, cause im not feeling anything at all. And you were wild and crazy, just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated. Got away by some mistake and now. I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, Its 2am and Im cursing your name, Im so in love that I acted Insane, and thats the way I loved you. Breaking Down and coming undone its a roller coaster kinda rush.

Your sick & tired of my attitude, your feeling like you don’t know me, I tell you that I love you then cut you down. And you need me like a heartbeat, but you know I got a meanstreak, makes you run for cover when I’m around. And hears to me and my temper. You knew that you saw what I was doing to you. Ill tell you why. (Cause I was a fucking clown.)  I could write a book on, how to ruin someone perfect.

Simple complication, miscommunication leads to fall out. Ive never heard silence quite this loud. The story of us looks alot like a tragedy now.

And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you Breathe. Hope Its nice where you are. And I hope the sun shines, and its a beautiful day, and something reminds you youd wished you had stayed. You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind.

Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone. I Love You and thats all I really know. Ill be the price, and you be the princess. Its a Love story baby just say yes.

And Time, is taking its sweet time erasing you. Cause we had, a beautiful, magic love there. What a sad, beautiful, tragic, love affair. Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting, silence, the train runs off its tracks. Kiss me, try to fix it. Could you just try to listen?? Hang up, give up. For the Life of us we cant get back.

All i am is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life, and mean, and mean , and mean, and mean. Ill im ever gonna be is mean. 

Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile.

3 years gone and Im still reaching even though I know you’re not there. I was playing back a thousand memories baby, thinking bout everything we’ve been through. Maybe ive been going back too much lately when time stood still, and I had you. I flashback to the night when you said you said to me nothings gonna change, not for me & you. Not before I knew how much I had to lose. If your out there, if your somewhere, if your moving on, Ive been waiting for you ever since youve been gone. I just want it back to the way it was before, and I just wanna see you back at my front door. I know that we could work it out somehow, but if this was a movie youd be here by now.

You were a dreamer before I ever let you down. Now here I am on my knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for you. Just like you always wanted. Cause your not my princess. Your gonna find someone someday that might actually treat you well, and its to late for me and my white horse to catch you now.

But we were something dont you think so, and if my wishes came true, it would of been you, persist and resit the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? And it would of been sweet, if it coulda been me. But it woulda been fun, if you woulda been the one.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe you asked for too much, and maybe this thing was a masterpiece before I tore it all up, but I keep your old hoodie from that very 1st week, cause it reminds me of innocence, and it smells like you. Cause there we are again when I loved you so, back before I lost the one real thing Ive ever known, wind in your hair, i was there i remember it all, down the stairs I was there, I remember it all, It was rare, I was there, I remember it All to well. 

He’ll never know your story like I do. Im dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find that what your looking for has been here the whole time. You say your fine, know you better than that, hey what cha doing with a boy like that?      Cant you see that Im the one who understands you, been here all along so why cant you see, you belong with me.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Alright, relate yours OCs or ship to my fav album songs Taylor Swift: Tim McGraw, Cold As You, Picture To Burn, Should’ve Said No Fearless: White Horse, Tell Me Why, Forever & Always Speak Now: Speak Now, Sparks Fly, Back To December, The Story Of Us, Better Than Revenge Red: Red, Treacherous, WANEGBT, The Last Time, All Too Well, I Almost Do 1989: Style, Wildest Dreams, New Romantics Rep: End Game, IDSB, Getaway Car, DWOHT, KOMH Lover: Cruel Summer, The Man, MA&THP, Cornelia Street, London Boy

Tim McGraw: ooof okay this is totally Fallon Parris Jones and Reggie Mantle?  Actually their second first time (first time after they said ‘I love you’ and were dating not fwb lmao) was entirely based around this song!!

But when you think "Tim McGraw"/I hope you think my favourite song/The one we danced to all night long/The moon like a spotlight on the lake/When you think happiness/I hope you think "that little black dress"/Think of my head on your chest/And my old faded blue jeans

Cold As You: Aaliya Andrews x Graham Frank

You have a way of coming easily to me/And when you take, you take the very best of me/So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel somethin'/And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted

You put up the walls and paint them all a shade of gray/And I stood there loving you, and wished them all away/And you come away with a great little story/Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Picture To Burn: ngl also Fallon Parris Jones but Fallon and Sweet Pea!  Which I hate because I hate being mean to my beloved son but that’s just how their relationship went?

So watch me strike a match/On all my wasted time/As far as I'm concerned you're/Just another picture to burn/There's no time for tears/I'm just sitting here/Planning my revenge/There's nothing stopping me/From going out with all of your best friends

or worst enemies as the case may be

Should’ve Said No: Roxie Flores x Noah Puckerman

You should've said no, you should've gone home/You should've thought twice before you let it all go/You should've know that word, bout what you did with her/Would get back to me

I can't resist, before you go, tell me this/Was it worth it/Was she worth this

White Horse: Lucy and Alexander Pierce

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well/This is a big world, that was a small town/There in my rear view mirror disappearing now

And also Aaliya Andrews x Graham Frank & Delaney Carlyle x Reggie Mantle/Chuck Clayton

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale/I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet/Lead her up the stairwell/This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town/I was a dreamer before you went and let me down/Now it's too late for you/And your white horse, to come around

Tell Me Why: Carmen Rivera x Jackson Whittemore

And I need you like a heartbeat/But you know you got a mean streak/Makes me run for cover when you're around/And here's to you and your temper/Yes, I remember what you said last night/And I know that you see what you're doing to me/Tell me why

Forever & Always: Charlie Dugan x Flash Thompson

And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called/And then you feel so low you cant feel nothing at all/And you flashback to when he said forever and always

Speak Now: Ooof Jennifer Andrews x FP Jones

This is surely not what you thought it would be/I lose myself in a daydream/Where I stand and say/"Don't say yes, run away now/I'll meet you when you're out/Of the church at the back door/Don't wait or say a single vow/You need to hear me out"/And they said, "speak now"

Sparks Fly: Alexis Argent x Lydia Martin x Scott McCall!!

Drop everything now/Meet me in the pouring rain/Kiss me on the sidewalk/Take away the pain/Cause I see, sparks fly, whenever you smile

ALSO Kit Conrad x Hope Mikaelson

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm/And I'm a house of cards/You're the kind of reckless that should send me running/But I kinda know that I won't get far

Back To December: Angela DeSantos x Veronica Lodge

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right/And how you held me in your arms that September night/The first time you ever saw me cry/Maybe this is wishful thinking/Probably mindless dreaming/But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right

The Story Of Us: Juliet Capes x Fangs Fogarty

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us/How we met and the sparks flew instantly/People would say, "they're the lucky ones"/I used to know my place was a spot next to you/Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat/Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Better Than Revenge: Amethyst Andrews, wrt Betty and Cheryl

Betty - 

I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey/You might have him, but haven't you heard/I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey/You might have him, but I'll always get the last word

Cheryl -

She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list/She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it/I think her ever present frown is a little troubling/And, she thinks I'm psycho/Cause I like to rhyme her name with things, but/Sophistication isn't what you wear, or who you know/Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go/Oh they didn't teach you that in prep school/So it's up to me/But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity

Red: Ophelia Dane x Ben Hargreeves

Losing him was blue like I'd never known/Missing him was dark grey, all alone/Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met/But loving him was red

Treacherous: Ashley Wilson x Percy Jackson

And I just think you should, think you should know/That nothing safe is worth the drive

WANEGBT: Percy Flowers x Brett Talbot

I remember when we broke up, the first time/Saying, "This is it, I've had enough"/Cause like we hadn't seen each other in a month/When you, said you, needed space (what?)

The Last Time: Carmen Rivera x Lydia Martin

This is the last time I'm asking you this/Put my name at the top of your list/This is the last time I'm asking you why/You break my heart in the blink of an eye

All Too Well: Also Fallon x Sweet Pea ouch

And I know it's long gone and/That magic's not here no more/And I might be okay/But I'm not fine at all

I Almost Do: Luna Hale x Isaac Lahey

I bet/You think I either moved on or hate you/Cause each time you reach out there's no reply/I bet/It never ever occurred to you/That I can't say "Hello" to you/And risk another goodbye

Style: ooh Anastasia Andrews x Jughead Jones

You've got that long hair slick back, white t-shirt/And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt

and also Amethyst Andrews x Sweet Pea

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye/And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like/And when we go crashing down, we come back every time

Wildest Dreams: Ariel Blossom x Malachai

He's so tall, and handsome as hell/He's so bad but he does it so well/I can see the end as it begins, my one condition is/Say you'll remember me/Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe

and Cathy x Bill x Stan

Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams

New Romantics: Amara Caro & Percy Flowers!!!  

Baby, we're the new romantics/Come on, come along with me/Heart break is the national anthem/We sing it proudly/We are too busy dancing/To get knocked off our feet/Baby, we're the new romantics/The best people in life are free

And Arianne Martin!!

Cause, baby, I could build a castle/Out of all the bricks they threw at me/And every day is like a battle/But every night with us is like a dream

End Game: Amethyst Andrews x Sweet Pea 100%

Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy/I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me/And I can't let you go, your hand print's on my soul/It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold/You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks/So here's the truth from my red lipsI wanna be your endgame

also Stevie Cooper x Joaquin DeSantos

I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders/Reputation precedes me, in rumors I'm knee deep/The truth is it's easier to ignore it, believe me

IDSB: Arianne Martin 

I can feel the flames on my skin/Crimson red paint on my lips/If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing/I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming

and also Katarina Aliano

They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one/So light me up

and Amethyst Andrew

I never trust a narcissist/But they love me/So I play 'em like a violin/And I make it look oh so easy

This is how the world works/You gotta leave before you get left

Getaway Car: April King x Diego Hargreeves

It was the best of times, the worst of crimes/I struck a match/And blew your mind, but I didn't mean it/And you didn't see it/The ties were black, the lies were white/And shades of grey in candlelight

Percy Flowers x Scott McCall (x Brett Talbot)

I wanted to leave him/I needed a reason

DWOHT: Amethyst Andrews x Sweet Pea

I’m a mess, but I’m the mess that you wanted

My love had been frozen/Deep blue, but you painted me golden/Oh, and you held me close/Oh, how was I to know

Abigayle Whittemore x Allison Argent x Scott McCall

I could’ve spent forever with your hands in my pockets/Picture of your face in an invisible locket/You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

Adrienne Argent x Liam Dunbar

I'd kiss you as the lights went out/Swaying as the room burned down/I'd hold you as the water rushes in/If I could dance with you again

KOMH: Amethyst Andrews x Sweet Pea

Is this the end of all the endings?/My broken bones are mending/With all these nights we’re spending/Up on the roof with a school girl crush/Drinking beer out of plastic cups/Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

I made up my mind, I’m better off being alone

Avalon Le Fay x Jay

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for/King of my heart, body and soul

Camila Nelson x Steve Harrington

Your love is a secret/I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep/Change my priorities/The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

Cruel Summer: Aaliya Andrews x Jason Blossom

And I snuck in through the garden gate/Every night that summer just to seal my fate

and Amethyst Andrews x Sweet Pea

And I scream, “For whatever it’s worth/I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

The Man: AMETHYST FUCKING ANDREWS YALL

I’d be a fearless leader/I’d be an alpha type

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can/Wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man 

They’d paint me out to be bad/So, it’s okay that I’m mad

MA&THP: Amethyst Andrews x Sweet Pea

It’s you and me, that’s my whole world/They whisper in the hallway, “She’s a bad, bad girl”

No cameras catch my muffled cries/I counted days, I counted miles/To see you there, to see you there/And now the storm is coming

You know I adore you, I’m crazier for you/Than I was at 16, lost in a film scene

Beverly Mantle & Reggie Mantle

We’re so sad, we paint the town blue/Voted most likely to run away with you

My team is losing, battered and bruising/I see the high fives between the bad guys/Leave with my head hung, you are the only one/Who seems to care

American stories burning before me/I’m feeling helpless, the damsels are depressed

Beverly Mantle x Fangs x Sweet Pea (in Inescapable Secrets)

Waving homecoming queens, marching band playing/I’m lost in the lights/American glory faded before me

Now I’m feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress/Running through rose thorns, I saw the scoreboard/And ran for my life

No cameras catch my pageant smile/I counted days, I counted miles/To see you there

It’s you and me, that’s my whole world/They whisper in the hallway, “She’s a bad, bad girl”/The whole school is rolling fake dice/You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes

Cornelia Street: Selena McCall x Derek Hale

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/That’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

Adrienne Argent x Liam Dunbar

Windows swung right open, autumn air/Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours

London Boy: Alissara Baratheon x Oberyn Martell

But something happened, I heard him laughing/I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent/They say home is where the heart is/But that’s not where mine lives

Send me a song and I’ll tell you which OC(s) it fits best

[salfordiansiren]

Interview Questions for Ren Harvieu, God is in the TV ‘In Conversation with…’article

We do like to ask some ‘off-the-wall’ questions, also some slightly tongue-in-cheek and left-field ones not connected to the music business at all. There are also a few multiple questions and I’ve mixed them up a bit so that the subjects keep changing. Many of them are open-ended, giving you the opportunity to be as verbose as you wish.  Please ignore any question you do not wish to answer.

Hi Lauren, my name is David Bentley, I write for a UK-based e-zine God is in the TV (GIITTV).

The objective of this interview, which will be published in GIITTV within a week of receiving your responses, is to introduce you to a new audience in the UK and abroad and to promote your forth on ming album.

The interview will also feature some embedded videos and/or audio unless you ask us not to do that.

There will be an ‘introduction’ to the interview but that will be written after its completion.

Thanks for agreeing to take part.

So, here we go…

 

Hi Lauren, thanks for joining us today. How are you?

I’m in a great mood today thanks. I had foot surgery last week and so I cant leave the house or really move for 6 weeks but I feel strangely calm about the whole thing, I dont mind bein

 

For the benefit of readers who may not be familiar with you, how would you describe yourself as an artist, in a paragraph?

 

 

You have released two singles, ‘Teenage Mascara’ and just now ‘Yes, Please’ from your second album, ‘Revel in the Drama’ which is scheduled for next April and the first one was well received by broadcasting ‘tastemakers’. How does the album differ from the first one, ‘Through the Night?’

 

The difference between Revel In The Drama and Through The Night is that this is a much more personal album. I spent the last couple of years honing my songwriting craft and these lyrics have come straight from my gothic salfordian brain. Its darker, more intense, stranger but still has the beauty of Through The Night. I think both albums sit nicely together.

 

 

Since 2015 you’ve been co-writing with Romeo Stodart of the Magic Numbers and he appeared on stage with you at your recent concerts. Will that relationship continue? Do you prefer to control the songwriting process yourself, or are you content to work with other music or lyric writer(s) into the future? If the latter, who has the final say?

I’ll keep writing with romeo till I die if he wants to. He’s the best of the best, and he understands me. I never really felt understood as an artist till I met him. I feel so comfortable in his presence that I let it allllll out, not just the versions of me t

 

You signed with Universal, a huge corporation, as a 17-year old. Is that too young, or are there any benefits in being ‘bloodied’ in the industry at such a tender age?

I think I was too young, although Universal were great that wasn’t the problem. But there was a lot going on behind the scenes that I was dealing with. I wasn’t a show biz kid from a showbiz family and I had real problems that seemed bigger than singing about about being dumped by some boy. I felt too young and overwhelmed but also too streetwise and smart for it all. It was a confusing time.

They say that everything happens for a reason. In 2011 you suffered a life-changing event, just as your debut album was about to be released, and one which set you back several years. Eight years on do you think the dreadful accident in which you broke your back has had any positive repercussions?

I think there had been positive repercussions,I dont think I would have started writing if it wasn’t for the accident. I dont

 

What attracted you to signing with Bella Union for your new album?

Well

 

Do you have any role models in the music business? A hero or heroine? Anyone you would enjoy being “mentioned in the same breath” with? (Dusty Springfield comes to mind, also perhaps Shirley Bassey).

 

I really admire Fiona apple because she does whatever the hell she wants. And her records are stunning, unique and completely un compromising.

You are compared occasionally with Elkie Brooks (I’ve done it myself!), a different kind of singer perhaps but a highly respected one who hails from the same city, and even the same suburb as you. And she’s still performing, in her seventies. Is there anything you feel you can learn from her and, indeed, are you ever in contact with her?

I dont know Elkie personally but I love her shes a legend. Rising Cost Of Love is my jam!

 

 

You left Salford and relocated to London a while ago. Do you miss it? How did the move impact on your creativity?

I really miss the north, everything about it but I needed to leave because I was really sad and I knew if i didnt do something soon I was going to slip down the back alleyof my mind and maybe disappear forever. I have memories on every street, bus stops make me emotional. Corner shops where me and my friend would try and get booze in our school, theres just memories everywhere and I needed a clean break. To create some distance so I could write about it

When you’re writing, how do most of your songs start life? A piano part? A chord? A melody? Does inspiration simply come, or do you have to seek it?

I feel inspired everyday by everything. When writing a song I like to visualise it, like a film, frame by frame. Sometimes I move around, dance, put on voices. Romeo will play something off the cuff that’s so beautiful that I’ll just start shouting and laughing and hugging him. Its the closest I get to spirituality. Writing wise, I want the narrative to have as much depth as possible, I want to feel something and I feel it is my duty to give the emotion and the stories the respect they deserve. I take it very seriously.

 

Do you see yourself as a live artist, or a recording artist, or both?

I see myself as both. I get to appease the introvert in me by being in the studio and attend to the outrovert by playing live.

 

How would you personally measure ‘success’? By ‘breaking’ America? Or something more modest?

Success to me would mean I get to create and perform music for all time and make a living on it. Success to me would mean that people are touched and moved by my music. I would love to be a voice to someone that can comfort them, just as say Rufus Wainwirght was to me when I was a depressed 14 year old. I’m not doing this just to stroke my own fragile ego, I genuinely want to reach o

 

When I saw your show at the Deaf Institute in Manchester recently, in one song (I think it was ‘Cruel Disguise’), you reached and sustained a note that convinced me and those in my company that you could probably tackle opera singing. Do you have any ambitions to perform in that or any other genre?

I would love to learn opera. I think

 

Back in 2012, while you were recovering, you performed several James Bond film theme tunes with the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra, including ‘You only live twice’ and ‘Nobody does it better’, both of which arguably could be applied to you. Do you picture yourself as a ‘Bond girl’ in the sense of recording the theme to a future movie, or do you even have any acting ambitions to actually play such a role? After all, the new album is constructed so that you can “revel in the drama of my life” as you say. (Incidentally, a female friend of mine – also from Salford – commented that you look like a 1950s Hollywood movie star).

Tell your friend I said thanks a lot! I would love to sing a Bond theme, I feel like it could happe

Acting wise I’m open to it, why not?

 

I saw one of your Christmas Special shows at the Soup Kitchen in Manchester in 2015. During the show you told a story about how a school choirmaster prevented you joining a musical assembly on four occasions for no better reason than that there was something about you that he didn’t like. Your rejoinder to that was “Well, fuck him” and of course you soon went on to release demos on MySpace which were picked up by a local manager and sent on to Amy Winehouse’s producer. The rest is history. A new song, ‘Little Raven’ was written cathartically as one to your younger self when you had no label and didn’t know if it would ever be recorded. What advice would you give to young people who find doors being slammed in their face as that schoolmaster did to you?

If anyone is picking you, school teachers, other kids, parents, anyone i would say to

If schoolmasters are singling you out and picking on you, its probably because your different and they cant stand

 

 

What touring plans do you have to support the release of the new album?

We are organising a tour right now around the UK, quite a big one its really exciting. I also cant wait to tour outside of England, I’ve never done that.

 

If you weren’t a musician what would you be? Do you ever aspire to being ‘something else’ entirely (model, politician, footballer, train driver…?!)

I think I’d try and be a fiction writer. I love books and stories and characters. I heard Donna Tartt say something life ‘as much fun as it is to read a book, writing one is one level deeper’ There’s something about losing myself into another world entirely that really appeals to me.

 

The environment. Whose viewpoint are you closest to? Donald Trump or Greta Thunberg?

 Greta or course.

United or City?

United

 

Coronation Street or EastEnders?

Corrie

 

Thanks again and good luck with the album and your future career.

[flowers-by-the-bed]

Just ignore this it’s just for me to try and organise myself because idk what to do right now aside from cut myself up and hit my head and I’m trying my fucking best to not do that. But as always I need the knowledge that my thoughts are “out there” rather than just writing somewhere private in order to feel like it’s helped me. Not that I have much hope for that anyway. I was doing so so well, moving on, making progress, taking control of things, finding good influences to be around and getting my work done and it all gets shattered over nothing or when my meds don’t work as well as they should. Everything in my life and everything about me is so fragile and built on such fragile foundations and however stable or genuine the changes I make seem, they are nothing. Even if my mood flips again tomorrow and things magically get better, it doesn’t make my emotions any less strong right now, and it would definitely flip back to this as soon as the next stressor happens. I hate it.

I wrote out a huge post about all my feelings earlier and it made me feel better but I went to post it and the fucking connection got fucked and it deleted itself and that alone has sent me spiralling and im so upset and angry and that just says everything, i almost threw my laptop at the wall but threw my phone instead. I’ve been trying to remember what I said because it made me feel better but I just keep crying and hitting things and myself and I cannot shake it, and that’s my reality rn

_____

I’m so exhausted being me and being this mess and I don’t want to even try anymore. Whatever I do and however much I think I make progress, I always end up back in this situation with no triggers or warning. No progress or motivation is worth it because I will never be fixed or stable and there isn’t a guide to navigate this. Why should I try and move forward when within three days this can happen and I’m back at square one. Either my meds were faulty or this is just me but who the fuck cares which it is because either way I’m just a fucking incapable piece of shit. There is no reason I should flip this quickly and feel so strongly over literally nothing but tiny normal inconveniences and the level that I hate myself because of everything and just in general is too much. I hated myself anyway but EUPD moods make it so much worse and so much more intense and I literally cannot do anything close to normal functioning when this happens. My dad came round to check how I was and I cried for a while but then I was ready to try and go out the house with him, but I saw myself in the mirror and had a complete breakdown and cried in bed for hours and didn’t speak. I’m fucking pathetic but I can feel all of the fucking fat on my body everywhere and it feels like a disease, I disgust myself. I couldn’t move or even think about going outside because I couldn’t and still cant stand the thought of anyone seeing my body. It’s vile and I hate it and even when I have a few good weeks and start eating normal amounts again, seeing my body sends me back into a spiral and I regret ever eating at all. I’m crying now because it just feels like you can see the fat expand by the minute and it makes my anxiety and anger and sadness go haywire. I don’t want to try anymore I’m exhausted trying to pretend that one day I’ll get fixed and I’ll be stable enough for myself that I can lead a normal life but it just isn’t possible. I want to drop dead because this is not living. I am exhausted of my thoughts making me think of the most triggering things when I know full well I am already bad enough that I want to die and hurt myself, and just sinking lower into that spiral until I scare myself about what I’m going to do. Every single month there is something that brings me back to this place where I remember that no matter what progress I’ve made, it’s all fake and down to some fucking pills. And as soon as those get taken away, I’m back to being some pathetic waste of space and effort who’s almost 25 and unable to even control their fucking emotions even at the bare minimum level so I can function. I felt so guilty with my dad here and me just being a wreck and unable to talk or go outside. It’s pathetic. I don’t know why I deserve a head that hates me this much and can’t do it’s only fucking job. I’m tired of faking it and tired of hating myself and tired of knowing that for as long as my life lasts, this is all it’s going to be. And it isn’t a life. It isn’t fair and I don’t know why I had to end up like this. EUPD is ugly and it is vile and eventually, whenever it happens, this will be what kills me. The only things that distracted me even a little was my dad coming over and keeping me busy before I fell back into that hole and Matt messaging me, because it grounded me a little for an hour or so because it was nice to interact when it’s been months, but it didn’t work for long. Those aside, I just want to be someone else. It’s too much, I don’t know how to get my thoughts out, I can’t get the anger out even when I hurt myself or break things, it’s like drowning in self-hate to the degree that you cannot see anything else. I just want to sleep and wake up and have this whole stupid fucking disorder and brain gone or a bad dream.  It’s not hard to see why I don’t achieve anything, I will never get to my full potential because of my brain and the boat has pretty much already sailed on me achieving the things I wanted to with my work anyway. Because of how incapacitated I have always been during education because of this. It’s not hard to see why people leave, why I am too much to handle. I flip so quickly and the anger expects others to understand what’s going on when in reality I don’t have any idea either. I need validation and then I don’t want a thing from them. It’s too much. I don’t blame anyone. I blame myself. Every aspect of my life gets fucked up by my inability to control myself or my thoughts or feelings and this is just a huge fucking pity party for me to try and organise my thoughts, just so that for the rest of today, I might be able to move my head away from them now. I’m exhausted. I’m angry. I’m upset. I’m detached from 90% of the people in my life and I don’t care. I just want to hide until I drop or until just one area of my life makes sense. If I could hate myself less and not want to puke and cry and cut every time I saw my body, I’d be able to come with the sad and the angry. If I didn’t react so strongly to the smallest triggers, or felt stable, or stable in my relationships, or able to trust ANYONE, I’d be able to deal with hating myself a little better. If I didn’t read meaning into everything people say and misinterpret things, or have such a strong emotional reaction to people speaking to me or whatever then I’d have more stable relationships and I could cope better with the rest. If I didn’t have such bad anxiety affecting most of my life, the EUPD in general would be easier to control. If I didn’t feel this inability or desire to share with the people in my life who actually do care, I’d find things easier to deal with and would have an actual support system. But by my own design and suspicion and refusal to overshare and burden people directly, I’m a fucking mess. Everything hitting me at the same time, at 400% power, it incapacitates me. I wish I didn’t have a personality disorder so I knew exactly what I’m actually like, and not constantly wondering what is me and what is an illness. I wish I wasn’t anxious so I trusted people’s intentions and could be myself instead of reining myself in and being terrified of being bad at things or embarrassing myself, and never making progress with anything or anyone because of it. I wish I had a healthy relationship with food. I wish I didn’t self harm. I wish I wasn’t depressed. I just want to be someone else and be a real adult. Life is hard enough without an arsenal of chemical imbalances and broken mental Schemas. I was doing SO well and it equates to nothing. I don’t want to be a 24 year old pathetic mess of a person. It’s too much. Although I do it to myself because I’m not someone who enjoys talking directly to people about my problems and I’d never want to burden them, it’s alienating and hard to try and function without explaining what is wrong.

[sunfish999]

if y’all ever wanted to know anything about me... i tried

hm I’m bored (i say this as i should be doing geometry homework

1. read: probably the paladin prophecy, or the finisher (just books i’ve read like 500 times, idk about understanding but--) watch: the vampire diaries? (idk i watched the entire series in 7th grade wygonnad) or aquamarine movie? listen to: XYLO, LUME, more specifically Need Nothing by Verite 

2. bro i have no idea who they are actually but I’ve seen like 2 fanfic writers who write exactly like me and seem to think exactly like me i love that. also a reg writer? uh probably mark frost? i aspire to write like f scott fitzgerald but it never gonna happen hun (cos i wanna major in physics not literature lmao)

3. holy fuck lets pick like 3 fandoms, aight? uh first lets go w my hero academia? tokoyami ofc? next... percy jackson bich-- nico LMAO no maybe bianca? hm HARRY POTTER -- ginny prolly although i dont want to date harry (oops) The maze runner? tommy actually ;; naruto? fucKINH ROCK LEE BABE uhhhsdfhh star wars is anakin and voltron is lance (or pidge actually) i should stop buuuut yeao ok

4. i think my name is fine but i aint gonna share it here (also kinda wish my nickname was charly though thats all im gonna say ALSO yes laurel is a faux name yes 

5. human being because i do nothing. lol but yes i think that who i am as a person should be based off my actions, for it is how i act that shows other people who i am, not ‘who i am inside’ dont make fucking excuses for your actions people 

6. yea i believe in 1 god and i was raised as a catholic christian but i am accepting of all religions and views

7. i mean kinda??? idk im very polish and so i eat lotta polish food (gr8 stuff right there) but im just american so yea 

8. muscial artists, well bitch i only started actively listening to lots of music (aka spotify) like last year but i listened to ari grande when i was young ofc but i dont rlly feel connected to her. maybe like, adele? probably her yea 

9. yes i am a visual artist (preferred medium is watercolor) i looooove singing although i suck so i just do it for fun, i played the french horn for 2 years (also suck so not really lol) um i also write for fun and im good at writing informative essays (my school is big in the english program lol) i was also in 3 plays but i dislike theatre so no. also i like clothes i am a fashion artist wow

10. tf? idk? i have like 3 mottos: “if you want something done right, do it yourself” “the answer to existence is not why we are here, but how we affected others during our time here” “jack at all trades, master at none, better than a master at one “ “you don’t have to speak to be present” “consider how hard it is to change yourself and realize what little chance you have in trying to change others” “do the scary thing first, and get scared afterwards” “the very fact that you're actively looking for ways to become kinder, and attempting to understand your flaws and change them for the better is fair proof that you as a person, are kind.” OK YEA MAYBE I HAVE A CREED SO WHAT 

11. ideal day lol art, reading, and binge watching tv in bed while eating. otherwise spending the day meditating in a forest in spring where its warm but not too warm and just not speaking the entire day 

12. both. i have 3 cats and 2 dogs. love all of them dearly though i’d consider myself a human puppy vs a human kitty (im not a furry calm tf down)

13. outdoors, if you mean nature. if you just mean social activity, then indoors 

14. as i said before, i like singing even though i suck, in grade school i learned the ukelele, piano, and french horn. i remember none of that now 

15. influential books my ass. LETS GO: 1. into the wild (krakauer) 2. Fahrenheit 451 (cant remember author name but its fucking iconic and a classic and it made me think) 3. just gonna go an put harry potter because that shit changed my life 4. the hobbit? idk, iconic 5. i wanna read more literature-y books soon but whatever, i feel like i should say the great gatsby but honestly with writing my essay and everything i just dont give a shit anymore

16. ok i feel like if my parents werent as strict when i was younger id have less depression and be less stressed but then i would also care less about my grades and being kind and i like that about myself sooooo 

17. lol this is EXACTLY me guys because its fucking anonymous as hell because i know none of you (except for like 2 mutuals but ive never met them irl but they’re cool) i dont trust my friends. or family, for that matter

18. my patronus is a wolf thanks for asking; and my power animal: symbolizes instinct, intelligence, and an appetite for freedom. embody personal power and balance between self-control and animal instincts. a guide to inspire you to live more freely

19. im a gryffindor, i took the pottermore test twice and got it both times, also, i took it doing the opposite and got slytherin, so i aint them (but i love slytherin sooo)

20. fuck are you serious? honestly hogwarts would be awesome as hell but probably middle earth because it still got the magic but it gorgeous as hell 

21. yea i’d probably say i love easily since i like barely talk to my crushes and yet i think i really really like them because GODDAMN 

22. school. daydreaming. eating. phone. drawing. 

23. i feel like once i move out for college i’d like em a heck of a lot more, so probably like at least once a month? when i’m older? like at least once every 2 months? i love my extended fam though

24. oh fuck my friend from school and i fucking liked chinchillas when we were little, we always text each other the same thing at the same time, i always know what shes thinking and what the basis for her actions is. shes the bff that doesnt always act like it all the time 

25. fuck yes 

26. pansexual and PROUD but still in the closet except for the whole internet and 3 friends 

27. ok honestly i feel like i dress kinda like a basic girl just more minimalistic and modest but i kinda totally want the gays to recognize me and also i fucking want those patterned polos because hell to the yes. and also i want bangs but i do sports and i feel like id look ugly because everyone says they would (waiting til college, naturally) otherwise love my freckles and real dark eyes

28. honestly, probably like a 2-3. i don’t care SO much about what people think, but i’m fucking annoyed by really dumb things super easily. i’m just really good at hiding it so no one ever knows 

29. why music wtf OK: 1. need nothing - verite, 2. lover like me - off bloom 3. strapped - FOOL 

30. why the FUCK all my quotes are in my creed bitch lemme search :

“growing up is giving up” 

thanks for listening to my TED ED talk aaaaand i hope you know me a bit better and i hope i didn’t accidentally give away too much info and someone will come kill me ok BYE 

[mommydragon-of-all]

OC Interview Meme

This looks fun. Also some answers drastically differ depending on around what time this "interview” takes place. So i got thinking and since I was tagged by@sakurabunnie who’s getting to know my pre-inquisition Soren, i choose to time this before Inquisition. Then i was tagged by dear @hadiden-lavellan too, but by then i was halfway through his post, and hey why not, some looking back :) Thank you both!!!! :3333

For Soren (Lavellan):

1. What is your name?

“A lot of people have called me by a lot of names. You can call me Soren.”

2. What is your real name?

“It is actually Soren. Yep, just Soren. I lost my original belonging and i didnt take any of my families surnames. Not permanently nor in any way official.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“Oh well, my parents wanted a pair of short and strong names that ring together, even if they had to get a bit creative. Also, as i learned, a pair of names that can be lilted and growled equally well haha “

4. Are you single or taken?

“i am free like a bird. Does your nest have some extra space on a cold night by the way?”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“Im a highly trained assassin, among … other things. If you ever get in trouble… *slides over a strange little object* flash this around the shady parts of any city. They will take care of the rest. But for your lives sake, do not try to lie”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“ I dont think i ever used that alias… “

7. What’s your eye color?

“Oohhh you are welcome to gaze into them closer, yes ;) no low light excuses, they have their own, so just lean over… “

8. How about your hair color?

“ Oh yes that is harder to tell in different lights. Its dark red, like good wine or blood from the liver .”

9. Have you any family members?

“ I have tons. If you meant blood relation… other than my twin sister i have some distant family. Literally distant even, like few and far between, out in the world. Some of us exchange awesome birthday gifts some years though, regardless of the exact date. Who has time to time that. “

(Scattered by the wind, but firmly standing like the trees)

10. Oh? What about pets?

“ Sadly animals are deadly afraid of me. It takes just a sniff to run for dear life… Even predators… it takes a special blend of proud and crazy to befriend me it seems. I would kill for such treasures. Like that Hart i once fought for an apple in that deep forest and lately rode to far destinations… i think it starts to get even attached!!! If he sticks around im gonna call him Captain. But remember, Dont go close to him! For your dear life, please dont. He is easy to recognize. Big as a mountain and looks like “Oh, Shit”. “

(’Where to, Captain?’)

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“ Those things are about to change. Or drop in numbers significantly in the world. Just wait. …as truly as i want to mean that, unfortunately some things never change. Like the darkness in people, festering hearts. There will always be things like betrayal, prejudice, hatred, discrimination, envy, greed, cruelty,... i could go on. People who mostly keep themselves above those shades of their nature are all worth to be protected.“

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“ Oh there are so many awesome things in the world and so many exciting things to do! I cant even count them. Like there’s hunting dragons for one! Speaking of hunting, there is also treasure hunt and demon hunt and manhunt and wyvernhunt and countless others, the bigger and meaner the better! But then theres also MAGIC! Do you have any idea how awesome that is? Everything magic and everything it touched. Putting together and using magic objects for so many things! And spells??? Potions, lotions, weapons... And there are also PEOPLE! The most magical thing is the warm light in ones heart. And they are so various and unique! There are different languages and codes and symbols and oh the stories! And dance and music and pleasures and laughing and caring and helping and…. oh … haha… im sorry, are you awake? Please ask away. “

(’Ah, what a beautiful day!’)

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“ I think you snoozed off and forgot about my profession already. :)  “

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“ Hahaha oh these sharp and pointy things and stuff arent for chopping and cooking vegetables either.”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“Pfffft i am my own species! Hehe! A unique hybrid i guess! But definitely a big animal, yes. Sis’ won that argument long ago, so there you have the answer. “

16. Name your worst habits.

“Hmm? What?” (*Muffs out with one of the interviewers -already leafed through-notebooks between his sharp teeth, booth on table...*) Hey! That is… how did you… *sigh*... nevermind  

(exhibit 99: ‘”I’ll go straight there!”)

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“My sister, definitely. She is the best. She is indestructible in every way i swear! Gotta be the strongest person alive. She is also really cool. But hot. I mean explosive! Not that shes not hot, technically... she is my female version after all haha. And caring for me with great big sister love (*mumble*:even if i am like 5 minutes older), but dont spread that ;) Might harm her notoriety.  I also look up to several of my tutors and many other people for many different reasons. People can be so many kinds of amazing.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“You can not expect me to label my interests in a world full of so many differently beautiful people with warm hearts.”

19. Do you go to school?

“Yes. Life. 24/7. Got less intense since i learned how to survive and sustain myself, and grew a strong body to back up my needs and will, but there are always new things to learn and lessons you never asked for too. I had some actual teachers along the way too, but lately mostly i just teach myself what i dont just encounter by diving into new things. Which is not only fun by the way, you are bound to learn a few things. Then there are books, theories, researching, digging, honing instincts and reflexes, combining and refining techniques or theories, trial and error... Life is a bottomless school “

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Wow, wow, you mean like.. babies? Sweet Fade, i wouldnt dare breathe their way, they are so fragile... little young PEOPLE, persons who arrived so recently and understand so little and cant even tell whats up just cry and i cant understand them, i understand every language but i can not understand babies for my life and ... and... thats terrifying! And do you have any idea how EASY it is to kill someone? And then there is that small bundle of vulnerability, my proximity could be lethal to it! And .... *sigh*... sorry just... It all would depend on that special person i might find who would want to keep me for life, for better or worse, and if they wanted kids... even if babies, i would be on board. I would do anything for that special someone. Even learn baby care... Bigger kids, well, i already have :D . In good care. If any of them were to be taken under my constant and indirect care, would depend on a lot of things. Right now they are much safer otherwise.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“Most certainly ;D.But none of them know much about me, of course. With that comes a transformation of those feelings”

22. What are you most afraid of?

‘Im not afraid of ANYTHING!” *eyes instantly betraying* “Fine, fine, gotta be loss. Ironic, isnt it, for i have but what is on my person. Replaceable come and goes. Im mostly afraid of losses that arent even really “mine”, but others. Loved ones or even barely known ones loosing their lives or their light. Loosing my sister, myself, my heart... that is all i am. The only thing i cannot live without is my heart, i AM my heart, and loosing pieces of it or have it broken or freezing through a hole... I hate how selfish that is. But yeah. There you go. I still tend to leave pieces of it everywhere, and it only grows with that, funny how that works, but it also tends to get wounded on every turn. I fear the numbing cold. I fear the day when i cant hold it together and go on anymore.”

(from “When you are away”)

23. What do you usually wear?

“What you see is my whole wardrobe, hahah. But i shift and change to blend in from the dirt of Orzammar’s dust town to the shining halls of Orlesian palaces. Its fun.  What i like to wear mostly are well covering clothes, that allow a great scale of mobility, but not baggy to catch on things. Made of high quality materials only. My clothes MUST be of great quality materials, more for comfort than durability. Heightened overall senses arent always fun. Oh and for outer wear i like leather, especially dragonskin stuff for light armor, and long boots are the only footwear i acknowledge, some with high heels, and a matching pair of long gloves from soft fine leather are necessary too. Long coats from mostly leather and all the necessary leather straps and harnesses and pouches and belt too of course. If it counts, all my current favorite necklaces with magical pendants and bracelets are a constant wear too. It also doesnt hurt if my clothes look great. But fine materials tailored to my body and my needs usually bring that effect without further touches.”

(*his gear gotta let his smooth ass move*)

24. Do you love someone?

“I love all good people. ...and some others”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

"Bahahahhahaa now thats some blunt question! It deserves to be answered truthfully. I wish i could say when i was a baby, but truth is i think it happened a few times during the wilder rides of intense poison training with blood magic assistance, but im not really sure, i was barely conscious through those parts from pain and all kinds of nasty sensations, i came to my senses naked and tucked in after them. I never do extreme limit pushing training alone. There were also times when i was subject to some blood spells and experiments unwilling too. I have some suspicious blurry memories that i have made all sorts of messes. Egh. Lets move on to more fun questions”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“Perfect!”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“I live outside of such systems. But i took part in every class during my life, thanks to current families or goals.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Plenty, but one cant have too many. Helping each other goes a long way. I tend to make some friends everywhere i go, but i have few close friends. The closest one is my sis’. She knows me more than i know myself, and she is always there for me, at any cost.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Pie? One of the most fun cakes. It was invented for throwing i swear!”

30. Favourite drink?

“Hmmmm... old, red wine, hot and seasoned, spiced with a nice kick of that special antivan poison blend. I dont recommend you trying it, but you dont know what you’re missing out.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Wherever i am welcome.”

(*one favorite place example. It is not Where, it is Who*)

32. Are you interested in someone?

“I am interested in everyone. Are you fishing for some special interest?”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“Hahahha oh you never disappoint! Well, it was a long time ago when i last i wore a bra, back when i could still pull off the young girl appearance, to get in paces and so on. I always made sure to have a proportional but quite evident bosom. Oh it was such fun, my long hair helped too, and i dished out that act spot on! Like that time in Val Royeaux, when the heads i turned waltzing in as part of a rich antivan court were spinning all around in frantic search in the chaos, while i walked right out as a male servant. Oh sorry, i got distracted. You also asked about my “willy” if i recall correctly. If you would like to measure it so badly we can discuss that later ;) “

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Hmmm.... whichever promises more sunk treasures and secrets. Some lakes hide quite the surprises let me tell you.”

(’Looks like a perfect place for some diving..’)

35. What’s your type?

“My type of what, exactly, dear? ;)”

36. Any fetishes?

“I am very flexible in many ways, let me tell you, in case you are planning to bend me to your will. And if id have some suggestions, well, let it remain a little mystery for now ;p”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“Depends. What would you like me to be?”

38. Camping or indoors?

“Nothing beats a warm bed and a well secured resting place. Especially with my... condition, and experiences”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Are you kidding me? You have such awkward, uncomfortable questions... Let me get a new round of drinks for us and lets do this till morning!” “What do you mean new round... when did this cup of hot wine get here? It has my name on it??? What the... I better go i think.”

40. Now it’s over!

“What? Oh come on, we just got to some really “embarrassing” parts! Talking about “embarrassing”, would you like to hear the story of my encounter with this qounari dreadnought captain and ended up on board to Ostwick? Maybe you can tell me some stories yourself too in exchange..” *puppy eyes+shining grin combo* “Well, im not exactly in a hurry...” “Excellent!” *shifts closer and pours more wine*

I tag @quizzikemen @pelle-lavellan @hadiden-lavellan @sakurabunnie @elalavella @nipuni and everyone who wants to do it! For those who already did this consider this a tag for another OC! Gotta love them all :D (if you feel like doing it. I always feel like reading it)