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#makes me think that might actually be where anthony is going with it
creepy-onthebutt · 1 year
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Everyone trying to guess who stewie is and why he wants scam dead are ignoring the true comedic potential of it just being actual stewie griffin from family guy that wants scam dead
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glitterfairy-21225 · 2 months
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Honestly, I like that we’re only now seeing Demetri feed into anger and make decisions he’ll probably regret later. Now, after Hawk has already had his redemption arc and rejected Cobra Kai’s ideology. I don’t think any sane viewer would have blamed him for going a little dark after Hawk broke his arm, but he didn’t. In fact, Demetri forgave Hawk extremely easily. He’s better than me, I don’t think most people would be willing to look past that so quickly.
So why now? Why does MIT hurt more than all the far worse stuff Eli did when he was in Cobra Kai?
Demetri has been learning Miyagi Do since s2. Before that, he disliked Cobra Kai’s way of doing things and only really clicked with karate when he was taught balance and self defense. Demetri is probably behind Sam and Anthony as the teen character with the least amount of experience in Cobra Kai.
But there’s a reason all the adult characters keep talking about balance. It can’t just be either all rage or all forgiveness. I can imagine Demetri harboring some pent up resentment over Hawk’s actions, buried so deep he doesn’t even realize it’s there until they have another fight.
And this time, it’s not Kreese’s brainwashing. It’s not that his best friend was angry about their lots in life and lashed out to extreme extents. There’s not a greater bad guy to point at behind Hawk, there’s not even really a bad guy. They’ve just been through a lot and they’re different people than they were when they first picked a college. Eli is telling him, “You’re my best friend but we’re never going back to how we used to be. We cannot go back and I’m not sure I want the same future as you.”
And this is after Demetri gets his best friend back. Apart from everything with Silver and Kreese, his life is going relatively uphill; Eli is good again, they have plenty of other friends, he’s dating Yasmine, and he’s learnt karate. Other than his friends’ success, he really isn’t looking for more than to preserve what he’s already gained. Losing MIT with Eli is a curveball he didn’t expect, just another thing he’s supposed to accept and move on from, and it happens when Demetri thinks he’s found security.
And then there Demetri’s motivation for wanting to compete in the Sekai Taikai. It’s not ambition. Demetri already got what he wanted out of Miyagi Do, he knows how to defend himself. In past seasons, he stayed because there was safety in numbers and of course he was against Cobra Kai. But now that Kreese is out of the valley, Demetri is still with the dojo because all his friends are there and he has developed a genuine enjoyment of martial arts. He doesn’t really want more. He says multiple times that he’s okay if where he’s at is the farthest he’ll go in terms of karate.
Demetri is comfortable being a side character. He doesn’t think he’ll ever outdo the core four or Hawk so he doesn’t see a point in trying. He wants to ride out the rest of his senior year with the dojo and then go to MIT, where he’ll do what he’s always been good at, where he might actually excel.
And Yasmine calls him out on this. They bonded when they were both at their lowest and she dated him while Demetri was helping the fight against Cobra Kai. She does not want him to throw in the towel too early and grow stagnant.
So, at first, Demetri really trains and tries his best to get picked for the Sekai Taikai to please her. But then Hawk tells him he’s unsure about MIT, and, “You chose my path?!” There was such genuine hurt in his voice, but Demetri could never hurt Hawk as much as Hawk hurt him. And Barnes said you have to be ruthless to get into the Sekai Taikai, yet Hawk showed him mercy, which Demetri exploits.
Demetri is clearly unsure of his actions when he takes the flag and runs. He seriously considers helping his best friend up. But when Eli decided to be selfish, he did so much damage, so why can’t Demetri be selfish this one time? Why can’t he lash out and take the victory he wants at the other’s expense? It’s not like he does anything worse than what Hawk’s done to him?
Sometimes you just need to hash it out and make up. It’s why Sam and Tory couldn’t spar properly after becoming friends; they realized they liked each other so they didn’t address their baggage. But because they didn’t, they felt at risk of falling into bad habits whenever the past finally did catch up to them. But they talked it out, they apologized for the things they regret, they brought up lingering resentments. Demetri wanted his best friend back so he forgave too easily, and now that they’re fighting again, so much past hurt is being brought to the surface.
Now that Cobra Kai is out of the valley, Demetri has started falling back to old habits. It’s been noted that he does most of the talking on Eli’s behalf in the early episodes of s6, his resignation about the Sekai Taikai reminds me a lot about his apathy towards high school in s1, and he assumes they’ll still go through with the college plans they made before their falling out. I do think Demetri genuinely wanted to be a part of the tournament but resigned himself after the team number was announced. When Hawk came clean about applying to MIT, Demetri finally decided to take more.
The show is about balance, it’s about finding a middle ground between defense and offense, Daniel and Johnny. I don’t think Demetri is gonna have a full blown villain arc or join Kreese or anything overly dramatic (we’re already getting that with Tory). He’s been loyal to Miyagi Do for too long. But that’s kind of the issue, he never fully let himself get angry at Hawk, and this is the result. Like Johnny said about Tory, if it takes a fight to process all your emotions, then fight, because holding it in will only make everything uglier.
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ineffable-suffering · 11 months
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INEFFABLE META MASTERPOST
Because I'm slowly losing count and need to organize. So, here's all my self-written metas or ones that I reblogged with my own added theories and commentary! In rainbow colours, naturally.
1 – Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why. My most lengthy and proudest meta about the Final Fifteen and why I think Aziraphale lied on purpose. (Also: The absolute darling @esthermitchell-author bravely fought their way through it and wrote up some more interesting points and different takes on what I came up with. If you want to go down a S2 rabbit hole with us, go read it here.)
2 – Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator (links below) A three-part meta in which I try to analyse and explain that all of the minisodes in Season 2 are not objective narrations but actually Aziraphale's memories.
Part 1: The Story of Job
Part 2: The Story of wee Morag
Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941
3 – The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie A meta in which I go into unnecessarily great detail about how the Whickber Street Meeting Cotillion Ball was meant to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley.
4 – Crowley & Aziraphale were never free (reblog) A reblog of @baggvinshield's post in which I explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.
5 – In Defense of Aziraphale (double reblog) A double try at explaining why I think Aziraphale's POV in the Final Fifteen is just as horrible as Crowley's and why I don't think him "choosing" to go back to Heaven was the only point of his character journey.
6 – The Art of Miscommunication: Ineffable Edition A meta in which i once again explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.
7– Season 2 Bookshop Shot Meta A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a single bookshop frame in Season 2.
8 – What if it wasn't Aziraphale and Crowley who performed the 25 Lazarii miracle? A mini-meta in which I propose the theory that Jimbriel helped with the miracle to hide himself away from Heaven & Hell.
9 – Things in Good Omens Season 2 I still find weird (reblog) A reblog of @ok-sims and many other great OPs' thoughts on the weird loose strings in Season 2 and what unanswered questions I still have myself.
10 – The Deleted Bookshop Scene (reblog) A reblog of @skirtdyke's video and @i-only-ever-asked-questions' smart thoughts on it, with my own overly-excited 'what that could have meant for the "It's too late" line'-theroy.
11 – The Bentley Handle Easter Egg A meta I can proudly say has been liked by none other than Mr. Neil Gaiman himself about Crowley's Bentley handle that might have existed before the Bentley ever did.
12 – The F*cking Eccles Cakes A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a pastry. (Addendum: People said very smart things in the comments of the post!)
14 – Re: "You go too fast for me, Crowley" A meta in which I make myself sad by connecting that infamous line to Aziraphale assuming Crowley wanted the Holy Water as a suicide pill.
13 – Trauma-Dumping on your plants: The Anthony J. Crowley Chronicles A meta on why Crowley treats his plants the way that he does.
14 – Demonic Mental Health Awareness Post In which I talk about why I want to get Crowley a therapy voucher.
15 – The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens A meta on why the Flaming Sword has no deeper meaning. Or does it? (Updated: here's a reblog from @queerfables who did a wonderfully exellent job at calmly explaining all the swordy questions I was yelling about! Consider this meta solved.)
16 – Ceci n'est pas une plume A meta in which I'm a bit of a nerd for language and also explain why learning French and magic the human way says so much about Aziraphale as a character.
17 – The meaning of "I forgive you" A meta in which I explain what both "I forgive you"s mean and why Aziraphale will always fight for what is right until he wins. Also, the lovely @sharksbeerr translated it to Chinese on Weibo!
18 – Memory, or the lack thereof, in Season 2 A little reblog on how memory is a big and unresolved, leaky-bucket theme in Season 2.
19 – „It‘s always too late.“ (ft. Crowley‘s watch)
A short meta about that lines from Season 2 that won‘t leave my brain (and also Crowley‘s mysterious watch).
Addendum:
The one non-spoiler-y ask I could come up with about S2 that was actually answered by Neil, yay!
Also, this wholesome little post I added to that Mr. Gaiman also reblogged. :‘)
*** This is a work in progress and will get updated every time I post a new meta! ***
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hmslusitania · 2 months
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Either 16 or 21 or both or neither
There was no specified ship, so it ended up being kind of pre-relationship TimKon
The party had been a questionable choice, Tim can admit that now. Nothing says “I’m so totally over a relationship, see how fine I’m doing!” like throwing a Halloween party, drinking a little too much at the sight of his ex-girlfriend making out with her new girlfriend who is, for most purposes, Tim’s sister, and then retreating to the bathroom because his more recent ex-boyfriend had actually taken him up on the invitation and brought a plus one.
Which is why he’s hiding in the bathtub in his own bathroom, not totally shielded from view by the novelty map of Faerûn shower curtain Steph had helped him pick out. At least it matches the elf ears that had seemed like a good idea six hours ago, and at least the porcelain he’s resting his face against is cooling and pleasant.
His relative peace — generally not helped by the thumping of the bass from the stereo in the party beyond his room — is interrupted an unknowable amount of time later by the bathroom door opening without a knock, and then he’s in the company of…
“What are you supposed to be?” Tim asks without lifting his head from the side of the tub.
Kon looks down at his “costume” which includes fingerless gloves, a denim jacket, and a black and red buffalo check shirt.
“Breakfast Club?” Kon prompts.
Tim blinks at him.
“Come on, we watched it for YJ movie night like last month,” Kon reminds him.
“I wasn’t there,” Tim says, miserable, and sags a little farther into the comforting embrace of the side of the tub.
“We were gonna do a whole group thing, right, except we decided you’d for sure have to be Ally Sheedy, not Emilio Estevez or Anthony Michael Hall,” Kon continues, unphased by Tim’s demeanour. “But then Cissie wanted to dress up like Wendy instead, and I’m pretty sure Cassie’s dressed up like me, which is kinda a head trip. And Bart had some whole situation where he can’t make our party because he got roped into babysitting Jai and Irey while they go trick-or-treating, because as screwy as my family might be, only when you’re a member of the West-Allen family do you really get to go babysit your, uh…”
“Second cousins,” Tim supplies.
“Huh, I definitely thought that was gonna be a weirder chain of relationship,” Kon says.
He sits on the bathmat next to Tim’s head and pokes him in the side of the face.
“Stop,” Tim says.
“So is there a particular reason you’re hiding from your own party in your bathroom?” Kon asks.
“I’m bitterly single?” Tim replies.
Kon considers him. “So, I get why you invited Steph, because she’s still for sure one of your best friends, and I’m pretty sure you’re, like, contractually obliged to invite Cass to events, and they’re a matched set. But like… your civilian ex-boyfriend who likes to conspiracy theory about the majority of the rest of your guests?”
Tim groans and shuts his eyes, only to have Kon pry one of them open and stare at him up close.
“I wanted to prove I was, like, mature and evolved and so totally over it,” Tim says, and feels stupid even saying it.
“Which is why you’re drunk in your bathtub, sure, yeah, I get that,” Kon says, and smiles when Tim rolls his eyes.
“You don’t have to be in here being nice to me, you can just like… enjoy the party,” Tim says.
“The party where my ex-girlfriend is dressed up in my clothes and making out with our other very good friend who’s dressed up like my all time fictional crush? That party?” Kon asks, and Tim snorts.
“Do you ever think about the fact you dated two girls named Cassandra and both of them turned out to be gay?” Tim asks.
“With really similar taste in women, also,” Kon adds. “And, like, yeah, every once in a while.”
Tim hums and closes his eyes again, but this time, Kon doesn’t pry his eyes open.
“I know you’re mad at me,” Tim mumbles finally. “You didn’t have to come.”
“I’m not mad at you,” Kon says, and this time the physical botherment he inflicts is tweaking the elf ear Tim had spent a stupid amount of time gluing on. “I was questioning your judgement, which is so not the same thing.”
“Judgement I definitely didn’t improve by throwing this party, right?” Tim guesses. Kon makes a noncommittal noise.
“Like I get that you have a thing for blonds with a penchant for getting into trouble, but…” Kon says.
“Not just blonds,” Tim mumbles before he can think better of it. He blinks when he realises what he’s said and finds Kon staring at him curiously. “I’m really fine, Kon, you can go enjoy the party.”
“Nah,” Kon says, and before Tim can move to stop him, he clambers over the side of the tub to squish into the narrow space between Tim and the shower wall, his combat boots which have a certain authenticity that say they might have been Pa Kent’s from the ’60s clunking against the basin. Kon wriggles his shoulders trying to get comfortable for a second, and then gives up and wraps his arm around Tim. It’s just for the better use of space, Tim’s sure, but it’s… it’s really nice. And when Kon tugs him sideways until Tim rolls over so he’s resting the side of his face on Kon’s chest rather than on the side of the tub, it’s so damn pleasant he can barely stand it. “I’d much, much rather be in here with you.”
It makes Tim’s heart flutter in his chest and he knows Kon can hear that, which is just embarrassing, and which he can only sort of blame on the alcohol.
“Yeah, okay, Bender,” he says, trying desperately to hit annoyed.
Kon gives him a full belly laugh that echoes off the bathroom tile, and squeezes him just a little closer. “I knew you’d seen the Breakfast Club before.”
Tim rolls his eyes and smacks Kon in the stomach with a light, open palm. It gets him another laugh, and maybe, just maybe, this party hadn’t been the worst idea after all.
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fayes-fics · 1 year
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Show Me
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader, Modern AU
Summary: Too much Merlot and a challenge neither of you will back down from...
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, mutual masturbation, mutual orgasm.
WordCount: 2.4k
Author's Note: Anon request fill from HERE (request: modern Anthony masturbates for reader), with thanks to some lovely mutuals (@colettebronte and @eleanor-bradstreet) who helped me decide for this to be a mutual masturbation fic and the former for beta reading too. Sorry it's taken so long to write this, Nonny, but I hope you enjoy! <3
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“Oh, Please. I know everything about you,” you wave a hand dismissively at him, relaxing onto the chaise of your sectional sofa, wine glass in hand, after hosting duties are over. 
The dinner party was done long ago, but he’s still here, even after all the other guests have left.
“No, you don’t,” Anthony frowns, swallowing the last dregs of his red wine from the glass.
You snort derisively. “Okay, go on, I dare you, say something that would shock me,” you goad, only half-joking.
He raises an eyebrow at you and puts down his empty glass. Then he leans back and places both elbows on the cushion behind, manspreading with arms and legs.
“I think about you when I masturbate,” he offers casually.
When he utters seven words, your whole world grinds to a halt. That is NOT what you were expecting. For a few seconds, you are stunned into silence, a static buzz in your ears as your brain supplies an enthralling mental slideshow.
“Haha, very funny. No, you don’t,” your retort echoing into your glass once you find your tongue again.
“Oh yes, I bloody do,” he asserts, and as you turn to look at him now, there’s a thread of tension in the air. 
You have sparred with this man so much over the years you’re surprised he has any feelings of attraction towards you. Although, if you think about it, somehow, it’s right on brand for him—fighting and fucking somehow being on the same continuum. A sudden acute curiosity about where this might go, not wanting to think too hard about what it could mean.
“Show me.” 
It leaves your lips before you can stop yourself—the wine speaking for you. One of his eyebrows raises archily again, and there’s a twinkle in his eye that looks so dangerous.
“You always surprise me. It’s so fucking sexy,” he says low and gravelly.
The spike of euphoria makes every cell of your being fizzle with energy like a storm approaching. To hear him call you sexy is the hottest thing you have ever heard. It makes you bolder.
“Show me,” you repeat, staring him down, the power and crackling potential of this moment enthralling, even if you are almost sure he will back down now.
He licks his lips and then pushes back onto your oversized sofa, settling into the plump cushions. You twist to watch him as he holds your gaze and drops a hand to his fly. The sound of his zip fills the room as much as your slightly laboured breathing does.
Fuck, is he actually going to do this?
Your disbelief is only matched by the rapid beating of your heart. The most vexing, and yes, okay, most attractive man you know is about to masturbate for you. Surely a fever dream. 
He flicks the button at the top of his jeans, and you see boxer briefs that are slightly tented and bite your lip. Still, he stares you down as your eyes ping between his face and his lap. Then he pulls down his underwear, and you see his cock spring out, already sizable, half hard and very delicious looking. That theoretical mental slideshow from just moments earlier is nothing compared to the real thing.
He fists himself and stares at you challengingly. Then ever so slowly, as a tease, he raises his hand and then drops it down with a slight curling action, emitting a tiny groan as you watch his cock twitch and come to life in his hand.
“Y/n.” 
The way he says it is dark, delicious and pitched so low you throb between your legs, almost painfully, a prickly feeling runs over the base of your scalp—a spike of arousal so rough it catches your breath. 
“Anthony…” slips out of your mouth. It’s breathy, and you barely recognise it as your own voice.
“God, say it again, just like that,” he hisses, and you watch his fist flex around his cock.
“Anthony…” you repeat, slower this time, throatier, intentionally pitched to arouse.
He groans, and his hand speeds up. All you can do is watch. Your clit pulsing in sync with your heartbeat, with his motions. Your strongest urge is to strip off your underwear and climb on him before he can come to his senses. But you don’t dare; you just sit there routed to the spot a few feet away, unable to look anywhere but him - at that glorious cock and handsome face.
His tongue peeks out and swipes over his bottom lip, then he groans slightly, fractionally pushing his hips off the sofa. 
“Join me,” he dares, his hand speeding up slightly as he hissed through his teeth. “Touch yourself.”
A shiver ripples over your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Just the thought of masturbating in front of him while he does the same is enough to make you flood.
You stare briefly into the rich, ruby pool of Merlot in your hand, then tip your head back and down the rest of the glass without thinking, placing the glass aside. Your eyes back on Anthony, delicious cock in hand, stroking gently and staring at you intensely.
“Liquid courage, I like it,” he nods, smirking with a wink that is far too seductive. “Go on, prove me wrong. Show me you’re not the person I think you are.”
You know he’s trying to manipulate you, not at all subtly, with flattery. But you let him. 
“What sort of person do you think I am?” you challenge, toying with the hem on your dress, revelling in how his eyes linger on your fingers as you do so.
“Too repressed to do in front of me what I know you would do if I walked out right now,” he goads with an empty threat.
“You’re wrong on both counts,” you counter brazenly, the wine coursing in your bloodstream now, letting your hands slide up your outer thighs, taking your hem with them. “There’s no way you’d walk out of here right now,” you posit with a knowing smirk.
His eyes flash in the low lamp light, his hand still making languid strokes of his cock, as you reach the sides of your underwear and peel them down your legs, angled away slightly so he can't see between your thighs, heart hammering wildly in your chest.
“Oh fuck yes,” he hisses as you pull them from your feet with a flourish and toss them across the room. “Come closer,” he adds velvety, his free hand patting the cushion next to him.
“I'm staying right over here, Bridgerton,” you warn even as you lick your lips unconsciously as a bead of precum forms at his tip, him still pumping himself slow but steady. 
It feels too much like jeopardy to be right next to him, uncertain you could stop yourself from doing anything to him, begging him for everything he is willing to give. Desire tugging low in your gut, making you impulsive to do things you could never walk back. The distance between you feels safer.
So instead, you slide your fingers under your dress, heel digging into the plush fabric as you widen your stance, and he growls at the sight. All he can see from his angle is your arm wedged between your legs; that is how you want to keep it. A tease, not letting him see the whole show. But dammit, if you aren't going to give him a spectacle anyway. Arching your back and throwing your head onto the cushion behind, you inhale sharply as your fingertips slide into your folds, temporarily taken aback by just how soaked you already are, your clit swollen and aching. It won't take much.
“How wet are you?” he demands, the tone needy and wrecked already, the hand wrapped around his cock moving faster now.
“Wouldn't you like to know?” you grit out defiantly, the antagonism still broiling under the surface.
“Yes, I fucking would - tell me!” it's impatient, through gritted teeth, and you shoot him a sideways simper.
“Never…” you tease as your fingers slide through the slick, viscous pool. The blistering lingering look you share is anything but animus. 
“I can hear it from here,” he growls, and you can't stop the hitch in your breath in response, knowing there is a wet sound as you flick across your clit in a rousing motion.
Your sight is locked onto his hand as he speeds up, squeezing his cock more insistently now, the tip getting pink and slick. It takes every fibre of your being not to slide to your knees before him and lick him clean. Just that thought has you pushing your knees further apart, your other hand reaching inside your neckline to tweak a nipple, pebbled and aching to be touched.
“Fuck, y/n,” Anthony stutters, temporarily stupified by the undulating movement of your body as you bear down on your fingers and pinch the hardened tip of your nipple until you hiss.
“Don't you dare stop,” you warn through gritted teeth as his rhythm falters, transfixed by the sight of you bringing yourself close to the edge.
He snarls at your command and seems to snap back to it, fisting himself even tighter, his hand almost a blur now, huffed, hungry noises escaping his lips as he stares at you, wild-eyed untamed, goading you to break with him. 
The room feels too hot, the flush of alcohol coursing through you, the smell of sex in the air as you both push your bodies rapidly towards completion, the texture of the sofa catching the back of your thighs as you squirm on your hand, honeying your fingertips, desperate for him to reach out and demand to suck your fingers clean, to push your legs onto his shoulders and dive face first into your slit.
“Put a finger inside yourself,” he urges, rushed and ragged. “Please,” he amends with a throaty whine.
Unable to stop yourself, not wanting to either, you obey. Sliding your middle finger lower as you keep your index finger circling your clit. The heated, soaked cling makes you hiss in surprise, so on fire for him; you hold his gaze as you push deeper, your mouth opening into a small O at the sensation.
“That's it, fuck, I bet that feels amazing,” he snaps, his tone feral, his eyes just inky pools staring you down.
“Tell me you want to fuck me…”
It takes a split second to realise it was you who said it. Unwilling to back down, meeting Anthony’s stunned, hungry expression head-on, fingers sliding fast over your clit, spiralling so close so soon to something extraordinary.
“I want to fuck you,” he enunciates slowly, dripping with intent, making a low, almost grunting noise with each pull on his delicious cock.
Your responding moan is lewd, and you are uncaring of the noise your body makes as you rapidly fuck your finger into yourself over and over, wishing it was his perfect cock that you stare at now, both openly panting.
“Don't. Fucking. Stop,” it's his turn to say it now, each word a heaved, wrecked sentence.
There is an inevitability to this moment that somehow feels fated, apt, perfect, almost. As if this is the only way the searing tension between you would ever be resolved: a literal release.
“I’m so close,” he grits out, and you nod rapidly to agree, moving your other hand to touch your clit as you now slide two fingers into yourself, rapid, deep, craving release, feeling the telltale fluttering around your fingertips.
With a brief glance up to his handsome face, you watch his plump lips moan your name, long, loud, low. His body going rigged as an arc of cum shoots out of his cock, painting a glistening line over his knuckles and the rug between his splayed feet.
The sight makes you shudder from head to toe and pushes you over the edge, your pussy trapping your fingers in a vice-like grip as your body bows, and you call his name in release, the tension snapping in what feels like every cell of your body. Unable to stop and uncaring to do so, you ride the cresting sensation for what feels like forever and no time at all. You can hear him swearing and barking filthy encouragements, but it's muffled as if through cotton wool, the rush of blood in your ears and the spots dancing before your eyes, screwed tightly shut, all you can concentrate on. 
When you sag back into the sofa cushions, utterly spent, letting your fingers slip from your body, mortification starts to creep into your edges. You feel unable to meet his eyes as you primly push down your dress where it had rucked up around your hips, even as you feel your own juices smearing over your skin as you do so.
“Don’t…” it's gruff and beseeching. “Don't you dare regret this. Or feel embarrassed. That was amazing,” he exhales shakily as he rezips his fly, his raw sincerity taking you back slightly, even as you stare at the floor.
“You owe me a new rug…” It's the strangest non sequitur, but it's what your brain has decided to say in response, eyeing the mess he has left.
He barks a laugh so loud you can't help but join in.
“That I do,” he admits, slumping back and turning his head towards you, a softness in his warm brown eyes as you finally pluck up the courage to look at him again.
“I don't regret it,” you admit quietly after a brief silence. “I just can't quite believe we did it…”
“Merlot…” he offers laconically, eyeballing the empty collection of bottles on your kitchen island.
“Definitely,” you giggle.
A grin tugs at his lips. “Got any more?” he inquires.
“One more bottle,” you gesture vaguely towards the wine rack.
He gets up and saunters over, bending to pick it up as you admire the fit of his jeans around his bum. He nods at you to pick up the empty wine glasses and then walks away, gesturing for you to follow.
“Where are we going?” you frown, pushing off the sofa to catch up with him as he wanders down your hallway.
He spins to look at you with an expression so heated you stumble to a halt and almost drop the glasses.
“Don't play coy, you know where,” he rumbles and kicks open your bedroom door with a flick of his foot.
It turns out your encore performance had a different director, but after you come screaming onto his hands and face, you decide it might be worth ordering a wine subscription.
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Anthony taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @elizah99 @fictionalmenloversblog @debheart @malpalgalz @amanda08319 @panhoeofmanyfandoms @delehosies @m-rae23 @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @jeanfreau @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @vane28282 @kisskissshutmydoor @hanji-emo-blog @y0ur-favgerman @Huffelpuffforlife @0x1harmonia0x1
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bosbas · 10 months
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Chapter 10: writing letters addressed to the fire
series masterlist previous part || next part
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pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 3.8k words
Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love, angst, pining, like a lot of pining, anthony being controversial
Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You’re struggling to find someone you’re as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.
A/N: they're so in their evermore era i can't
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July 7, 1814 - The expectations were as high as the chandeliers at the Bridgerton Ball two nights prior. And the night did not disappoint. Our forgone diamond of the season made an appearance at the social event. A fact that is expected given the close relationship between the Beaumonts and Bridgertons, but a pleasant surprise given her recent absence from social happenings. While previously the center of attention, Miss Beaumont danced only once at the Bridgerton Ball with one Mr. Alexander Beaumont. Yes, dear reader, her brother. This leaves us with the lingering question: why did Miss Beaumont choose her brother over the allure of a potential match? It seems that Miss Beaumont is simply tired of the ton's social scene, or perhaps she has lost some of her shine now that her best friend has left for the countryside. 
He cleared his throat, rubbing his thumb on his lower lip. Finally meeting your eyes, he said, "Well, I was wondering if you'd want to marry me."
You choked, completely taken aback. "Are you alright, Anthony?" you asked, nervously laughing. "Was the whiskey too strong for you after all?"
He pinched his nose, annoyed at your flippant response, but couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips. "Be quiet! I'm trying to help you!" he said, laughing.
You were in hysterics now, too. "Help me?! Help me how, pray tell," you managed to get out between giggles.
"You are impossible! How Benedict deals with you so regularly, I have no idea!" he shot back, poking you in the arm as he said each word.
You gasped in mock offense. "Low blow, Anthony, even for you," you said, shaking your head at him, unable to keep from laughing. "Surely you're joking. Why should I let you marry me?"
"Let me marry– Bloody hell, Y/N, and excuse my language, but really, I am coming from a good place here, and you are making it so difficult," he responded, clearly exasperated by your inability to take him seriously.
You ceased laughing and looked at him directly, cocking your head and widening your eyes when you realized he was being sincere. "Anthony? Surely you're joking, right? Does Alex know? He'll kill you if he finds out you proposed to his little sister."
He sighed deeply, shifting in his seat. "Look, I am not joking. But let me explain first, and then you can ask me questions."
You could do little but stare at him, lips parted in confusion. "Go on, then," you said finally, very interested in hearing an explanation for this incredibly unexpected proposal.
Anthony looked over to where Alex was sitting, deep in conversation with your father, and then looked back to you. He turned in his seat so he was fully facing you, one hand on the back of his chair and the other on his knee, contemplating how best to explain himself without sounding insane. "I know it sounds like a crazy idea. Trust me, I can barely imagine it myself. But I do think it might be a good one," he said finally, hoping to get some kind of response from you, only to be met with a blank stare. You were still entirely unconvinced of his proposal, barely believing that he was being serious. 
"Listen, what you said two nights ago is not something I take lightly, given that you mean so much to us, to me and Benedict and our family. And I can see that you're having a rough go of it. The roughest go of it, actually," he continued.
"And you think marrying me will solve my problems because...?" you cut in, not quite following Anthony's logic.
"Well, I've been trying to explain my thought process for the past five minutes, but you're making it awfully hard, Y/N," he shot back, raising his eyebrows at you, amused. You rolled your eyes good-naturedly in response but sat back so you could let him continue.
"This might make more sense if I explain my side of things a bit more, actually," he decided, mentally rearranging what he was going to say to you. "Alex and Simon already know this, but my intention has never been to marry for love. Above all, I view marriage as a duty to my family. Since my father passed, I have been the one responsible for them, and they are the dearest thing in the world to me, as you well know."
At the mention of Edmund, you reached out and placed a hand on Anthony's, remembering how difficult it was for the family when his father passed. He shot you a grateful smile, covering your hand with his and clearing his throat before he continued speaking.
"I will be perfectly candid with you, Y/N, because you deserve nothing less. I was planning on looking for a wife next season, but even so, I believe that pursuing love is an unpleasant and unimportant endeavor, at least for me."
You gasped, slightly taken aback at his cynical views, though yours weren't much sunnier. "Don't you want to fall in love, Anthony? Don't you think you'll find a partnership like the one your parents had?" you prodded, overwhelmed by a sense of sadness. But you also felt somewhat understood, knowing now that Anthony had an unconventional view of marriage.
He gave you a knowing look, saying only, "Don't you?"
Knowing he had a point, you let up. "Fair enough, I suppose," you answered. Is that how you sounded when you spoke of getting married? You were completely disillusioned with the notion, but you had given it more than a few honest tries, while Anthony was set on never looking for a love match. It was quite ironic, seeing how much your parents loved each other and the love between Daphne and Simon, that you and Anthony had developed such depressing views on marriage. You saw Anthony nod in your direction, seemingly happy with your answer.
After a slight pause, Anthony winced, knowing he was about to share much more than he usually would. However, he knew that this would potentially benefit you both, so he fought through the discomfort. "Seeing my mother fall apart after Father died was awful to watch, and I would never want to cause someone that pain. My goal is not to find passion but to secure my family's future. And I was hoping to find someone who would want this different sort of partnership," he said, looking at you pointedly. You had already started connecting the dots in your head and thought you were catching on to where this was going now.
"So you want to have an unconventional marriage together, then?" you asked, hoping you had understood correctly.
He patted your hand, relieved you finally understood what he intended the proposal to sound like rather than the abrupt and blunt question he had asked earlier. "Yes, precisely. Of course, I want you to take as much time as you need to consider this decision since it is quite important. I doubt we would seek an expedited marriage license, but obviously, we can sort out the minutiae later if you decide to do this. There is no pressure one way or another, I simply wanted to give you an option you had probably not considered before," he said, searching your face for any reaction.
However, you remained guarded, still unsure about your feelings. Saying yes to this proposal would definitively mean saying no to Benedict. But Benedict had not even asked you anything, you argued internally. There was nothing to say no to. In fact, he had been the one to say no to you. But you didn't know if you were ready to give up all hope yet. Perhaps you were a fool, but then again, you always were when it came to your best friend.
If you accepted Anthony's proposal, would the now-permanent ache in your chest worsen at the knowledge that you could never have Benedict? Or would you feel better, getting closure Benedict would never give you?
You felt a surge of anger shoot up your spine. Why couldn't Benedict be the one asking you this? After twenty years, why was he the one who left you alone and confused while Anthony was left to pick up the broken pieces of you Ben left behind so carelessly? Even setting aside the added issue of your unrequited feelings for Benedict, Anthony was being a much better friend than him right now. But your anger dissipated quickly, dissolving into desperate sadness. You missed Ben so much; the short letters he had been sending were unsuccessful in placating the ever-growing need to feel his presence beside you. The overwhelming sense that something about you was missing was almost too much to handle, and you felt yourself going around in circles in your head about what you wanted to do.
You knew it could never be the same with Benedict regardless, so you reasoned that you would at least consider Anthony's proposal. You owed it to yourself to consider someone other than Benedict and something other than perpetual singledom without any children to raise or read to.
Realizing Anthony was patiently waiting for you to say something in response, you spoke up. "In theory, this doesn't sound like a terrible partnership," you started, laughing when Anthony snorted and muttered a short "Why, thank you."
"Shush! I'm trying to consider your proposal, and you're making it quite difficult to spend longer than twenty minutes with you, let alone the rest of my life," you joked, stomach dropping slightly when you mentioned the concept of forever. Pushing through your fear, you kept speaking, "I know you, Anthony Bridgerton. And I know you would not do something like this without a plan. So tell me your plan, and I will consider it and give you my answer once I have one."
Anthony couldn't help but laugh at your scolding tone, "You're not wrong." However, he knew he had to be careful about how he presented his reasoning for this proposal. It was no secret that he thought his brother a complete buffoon for refusing to marry you. Anyone could see that your best friend was madly in love with you, and Anthony was beyond confused as to why Benedict was being obtuse and frankly stupid when you so clearly loved him just as much.
It was hard to miss the alarmingly fond looks the two of you exchanged, not to mention what must be dozens of sketches of you in Benedict's studio, try as he might to make it look like there weren't that many. But what really made it the most obvious was Benedict's manner of speaking about you. It was beautiful to hear when Ben forgot himself and spent nearly an hour discussing a fascinating observation you had made about one of his paintings. Or when he saw Eloise reading a book you had read and launched into a speech about your genius way of interpreting a particular passage. Or even when Anthony inquired about any of the paintings of you in his studio and his brother began a lengthy explanation of how he wanted to paint your eyes in a way that captured your thoughtful yet soft gaze, in Ben's words. Benedict's unwavering and wholehearted admiration of you rivaled that of his parents. It seemed to Anthony that you were the sun, and Benedict was happy to be in your orbit if only to relish in the warmth and comfort you brought him. And the same could be said for you.
So, choosing his words carefully, Anthony avoided saying anything that would upset you, knowing you were still raw from Benedict's sudden departure a few weeks ago. "To start, a legal union between our families would only strengthen our bond, and I know we both would still like to remain close with our families after we are married."
Gauging a positive reaction from your raised eyebrows and slight nod, he continued. "Perhaps the most obvious advantage is that we would have the marriage we both want. I would, of course, encourage you to continue pursuing your studies after we were married, and though I would like to have children, and I know you do as well, I am in no particular rush if you don't feel ready yet," he continued.
To be fair, Anthony made a compelling argument. Although your ideal marriage was still the one you had imagined with Benedict as a child, Anthony was realistically the best option for you, especially with the men of the ton being as dreadful as they were and Ben off in the countryside for who knows how long.
"I don't want to feel suffocated by my husband, Anthony," you warned, earning a laugh from him.
"I know you think I'm insane, but I promise I don't want to be a suffocating husband. We want a lot of the same things, just for different reasons," he responded, ready to answer any and all rebuttals you had. Anthony knew this would be a difficult decision, and he had come prepared with the utmost patience to ensure he got rid of all of your doubts to the best of his abilities. Having watched you grow up and grown up alongside you, he had a deep fondness for you, often feeling as protective over you as he did over Eloise or Daphne. Anthony cared about you and wanted the best for you, no matter what that might entail. And if he could find a wife a season earlier than he had expected while you got what you deserved, that was just an added bonus.
In the back of his mind, Anthony hoped that if you accepted his proposal, Benedict might come to his senses before the engagement progressed too far. But he would be a fool to count on his brother to do so, based on how Ben had acted so far. Anthony knew it would be cruel to tell you this and raise your spirits only to be disappointed again. If it came to it, Anthony would be happy to marry you. It was a very practical union, and Anthony quite liked practical things.
"It makes sense, in a way, I suppose. We do want similar things," you muttered to yourself. "And you'd let me read as much as I wanted?" you asked, needing reassurance.
"I promise," answered Anthony, smiling sweetly at you. "Besides, we are already very acquainted with one another, having grown up together, and I'm sure it'd be good fun to be married. Well, at least I think so. And you know me well enough to be able to make that decision for yourself."
You nodded thoughtfully, mulling over all of the possible caveats you could think of to bring up to Anthony. If you were going to go through with this, you needed to be absolutely sure that it was what you wanted. Although it was getting difficult to find negatives about this possible union. It seemed that you would have much more agency with Anthony than if you were married to anyone else, bar Benedict, or as a spinster.
"What about Alex?" you settled on asking. "Have you talked about this with him?"
Both of you subconsciously turned to look at your older brother and then at each other. Anthony gave a slight shake of his head. "No, not yet. But I have a feeling he'll understand and even be supportive. Especially after the other night. And especially now that Benedict left."
You furrowed your brow, confused. What did Anthony mean, especially now that Benedict left? You were about to ask for clarification when Anthony cut in.
"Anyway, don't worry about Alex. I will talk to him and your father, and I know they will be on board with whatever you choose. So all you have to do is decide if this is something you want to do or not," he said quickly, trying to make up for the fact that he had revealed too much before. Anthony knew Alex had similar feelings to Anthony, perhaps even more pent-up anger at Benedict than he did since Benedict was hurting Alex's little sister. But he hadn't meant to tell you so directly. Anthony mentally kicked himself for rubbing salt on your metaphorical wound. Although it seemed that you had let go of his comment, for now, he noted as he watched you rubbing your temples, deep in thought.
You sighed deeply, coming to the realization that this could be it. This decision could change your life forever, and perhaps Benedict's life, depending on how he handled the news. If you accepted the proposal, of course. You couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of guilt, knowing that you could never feel for Anthony the same way you felt about Benedict.
"And you'd be alright with me not being in love with you? I don't think I can do that again. After Benedict," you said softly, still wanting to avoid thinking about losing him as much as possible.
"Yes, I would prefer it, actually," said Anthony, smiling at you. But his playful demeanor was wrapped in a careful tenderness. He understood you better than most people, having learned to see you, above all, through Benedict's eyes. He knew you were terrified. Of being married and not being married, of losing yourself and of staying exactly the same as you were now.
He was terrified, too, to be honest. He knew Benedict would be impossibly angry with him, even though he really had no reason to be, and feared their relationship could be fractured. Not to mention that Anthony had been dreading marriage ever since that fateful day his father fell ill from a bee sting, leaving his mother alone in the empty shell of their loving partnership. He supposed the two of you did sort of make sense in a peculiar way.
"Alright, go away, please," you shooed Anthony away. "I have to actually think about it now. But no matter what happens, I want you to know I'm grateful for your offer. I know it's coming from a very generous place, and it really does mean the world," you added, squeezing his hand as he stood up.
"Of course, Y/N. I'm not Benedict, but you're very important to me nonetheless. Take as much time as you need," he responded, returning your squeeze and making his way over to Colin and Theo, giving you space to mull over your decision.
That was precisely the situation, you thought. Anthony wasn't Benedict. And you had to decide whether or not that was good enough for you. It was a very compelling offer, and you knew it might be your only chance to have anything close to the sort of life you had hoped to have before Henri and the rest of the men of the ton so pointedly crushed your dreams. Benedict was the only reason not to marry Anthony, and he had been quite clear in saying that he wouldn't marry you. But you wanted to enjoy a few more days of imagining that Ben could be yours in some capacity before you had to move on from him forever.
---
Shoving a pile of unsent letters aside, Benedict set a fresh sheet of paper down and started yet another letter he was unlikely to send to you. Now that he had ceased going to parties and bringing home a different woman every night, he found himself with ample bouts of time that he dedicated almost exclusively to thinking about you.
With each new letter you sent, Benedict found himself lost in your words, re-reading them constantly and clinging to any fragment of you that he could still claim as his. In response, he wrote pages and pages of prose he would never send. These ranged from letters he could plausibly send to you, responding to every comment you had made about the book you had read that day. Others were less tame. Sometimes, he found himself unable to keep his overflowing feelings inside of him any longer, choosing instead to write heart-wrenching confessions of a love so deep and all-consuming that it permeated every fiber of his being. But Anthony's words reverberated in his head, warning him not to lead you on, every time he contemplated addressing these letters.
But Benedict loved you. The real, soul-crushing sort of love that only came once in a lifetime. The kind of love that grew from years of being by your side, knowing every detail of you, and still wanting to know more. He was far past the point of denying it and had now stumbled on an agonizing feeling of wanting. He wanted you by his side while he painted, quietly discussing the colors or the shading he was working on. He wanted to put his head in your lap as you sat in the garden, feeling your fingers running softly through his hair. He wanted to look over at night and find your sleeping form beside him, less than an arm's length away as he fell asleep holding you. Most of all, he wanted to be content in the knowledge that he could hold your hand, breathe in your scent, and twist your hair in his fingers as he kissed you every single day for the rest of his life. 
The moment in your garden by the rose bushes from the day before he left, where he came so close to kissing you, haunted his every waking moment. He couldn't seem to forget the way your lips parted, moving ever so slightly closer to his. The feeling of your soft breath against his skin, luring him in. He had been so close to just giving in and touching your expectant lips with his. It was all he had dreamed about doing ever since he had come back from Oxford and felt you in his arms, realizing that he never wanted to spend another day apart from you. He still wondered what would have happened if he had just done it. If he had just leaned over a few inches to join your lips and brushed his thumb on your cheek as he grabbed your waist. But he hadn't. Instead he had fled to the countryside, where he was missing you more than ever and ridden with jealousy at the thought of you with another man. 
Benedict didn't know if the ache of longing would ever fade. All he knew was that you were a permanent mark left on him he would never be able to wash off even if he wanted to. A part of him would always be you. The proof of that was on his desk cluttered with letters that would never find their way to you and in his studio housing nearly a dozen unfinished portraits of you.
Clutching to a sliver of hope, he held onto the fact that no news of your engagement had reached him. Yet, each day brought with it a tormenting dread as he approached his unopened letters, torn between the desperate hope for a letter from you and the paralyzing fear that he would receive an invitation to your wedding. But for now, he could still pretend you were his, at least partially.
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Tag List (lmk if you want to be added!): @bellahadidnt16 @like-gabriel-and-castiel @riverraingrayworld @5sos-calm @elissanatok @titanicnerd-blog @noonenuts @moonwayne @lilasblogg @mmontgomeryb @fulltacoparadise @joyfullymulti @sopanngon @fanfiction-she-wrote @aureolinb @ambitionspassionscoffee @bbubbllejisoo @marvelspogue @avengersgirllorianna
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aziraphales-library · 2 months
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Lost Fic #191
1. Hi! Yesterday I found a highly specific fic on tumblr and i started reading it, but I lost it and somehow I can't find it in my history. I had found it on tumblr, under somebody shitposting that crowley and aziraphale decide who tops or bottoms every evening based on who received the check... the actual fic's plot is that one evening they're dining and crowley tries to joke that waiters always give him the check because they think he tops, but he took for granted that Aziraphale hadn't understood the joke so he laughs it off, but Aziraphale DID and he gets irritated about it. They go to Aziraphale's place, they try to talk it out and smut ensues. I think Aziraphale says at one point "I don't always want to be your stupid friend". But I'm sure there was a reversed wall slam. Help me if you can, please?? - anon
2. Hello! I am looking for a lost fic that I couldn't find in my AO3 history or your tags :( It's Aziraphale POV, takes place mostly in the bookshop. Aziraphale is excited to make a human friend who asks what A.Z. Fell stands for, and Aziraphale panics and says "Anthony." Human friend asks Aziraphale to a lecture (or the like) and Aziraphale says yes not realizing it's a date. Crowley overhears him being called Anthony and cracks up, and human friend mistakes A and C for a couple. If you or any of your followers know what this fic is I'd be so grateful! Thank you! - @smallspaceplant
3. Hi guys, first off I'd like to thank you for all the love and effort you put here, and it's helped me loads! I'm looking for a fic that I read a long, long time ago. It was so long ago that it might have been posted on ff.net, I really can't remember. I'd like to think I've read it about 10 years ago, but can't be sure. What I do remember is that Aziraphale fell and went with the name Zira or maybe Zirah, favored a cane with intricate carvings that Crowley(not that name though) gave him, and he used that to, a, sort a problem with the extra baby, and Crowley(or whatever his angelic name was) found blood on it and was understandably freaked out. Does anyone remember this fic? - anon
4. Hello! I’m looking for a fic and I only have a vague recollection of some scenes so I completely understand if you can’t pin it down! It’s 100% book omens, and I’m pretty sure it was written before the show came out. I’m also pretty sure it’s less than 10k words. Crowley and Aziraphale sleep together for the first time and the next morning Crowley is having Thoughts about whether this was considered a temptation. Aziraphale shuts it down and kisses him again. They show each other their wings. In the end, they kind of go their separate ways but agree to meet up again some time in the future. Again, sorry for the lack of details! - anon
5. Hi! I’m looking for a fic where god sends Aziraphale to another timeline? Or something? Because the apocalypse happened and god said something about him being happy and Aziraphale can’t be happy without Crowley (I think Crowley became a star after death) He ends up being polite but super distant with Crowley in this new timeline bc Crowley’s last words were to leave him alone Begging for anyone to help🧎🏻‍♀️- anon
If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)
- Mod D
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bella-rose29 · 1 year
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Idiot ~ Anthony Lockwood x f!reader
Requested by anon:
Hii I want to request Anthony Lockwood×fem!reader, with childhood bestfriends to rivals to lovers with the miscommunication trope, but also a happy ending with both of them being together. So the plot could be like, they were childhood best friends but then when Anthony's family died he later wanted to start the business, but she thought that he was out of his mind because she was scared about him being in danger, but he thought she just didn't think he can handle it so they got into an argument and she left. After that, they started hating each, later she joined Fittes as an agent, so he was even more angry. So they became rivals in the ghost hunting business. Then they got put on a mission later, and idk she gets injured and his like "who did this to you," but they're still enemies, even though the whole time there is sexual tension between them. This request is super chaotic, so just make your own plot with these elements, I guess. I'm not good at describing plots, I will be happy with whatever you write, but please let them have a happy ending and be together. Also, could you try to make this as long as you can because there aren't as many Lockwood fics as there should be.
I might have changed some bits a lil bit and probably spent way too long talking about their childhood, but hopefully this lives up to your expectations anon! (Please let me know if it doesn't though)
Word count: 9.5k exactly (holy shit this is insane i had way too much fun with this)
Warnings: swearing, violence, fighting, descriptions of injury, mentions and descriptions of Lockwood's family dying/being dead, major spoilers for the books (and the show), some stuff probably doesn't make sense (like at all), i might also have misremembered and made up some things but we'll go with it, Lockwood is actually kind of a dick for some of this oops, he gets better i promise, hospitals, mentions of being on morphine (for the pain), references to Lockwood being depressed, they're idiots in love.
Tag list: @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @karensirkobabes, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @ran23sblog, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @wandamaximoffbae, @wordsarelife
As always, let me know here if you'd like to be added or removed from the tag list!
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It was nearly 3am and Y/n L/n had had enough.
She was exhausted, weary, worn out, and pretty much any other synonym for the word 'tired', and she just wanted to go to bed, but Anthony Lockwood had other ideas.
"Give it here, come on!"
Y/n groaned, then half-heartedly chucked the bits of paper at her best friend from where she was lying on the floor of his living room. Jessica laughed, despite also losing to the 5 year old boy at Monopoly, and shook her head at his greedy smile as he counted the money. How he had ever managed to get the two of them to agree to play with him, Y/n didn't know, especially since she'd not really been paying attention when the rules were explained. But then she saw how happy he was at the idea of playing with the two girls, and Y/n knew she could never make her best friend sad.
She did really want to go to bed though.
Jessica Lockwood appeared to notice Y/n's droopy eyes, and quietly spoke to her brother, stifling a laugh at his pout when she told him they should probably stop.
"But we aren't done yet!"
"I know, Anthony, but you've definitely got the most money, I'm sure of it. You're going to win no matter what, so I think we should let Y/n/n go to sleep, yeah?"
"Oh..." he'd noticed his friend's demeanour now, and felt immediately bad for making her stay awake. "Alright then. Y/n/n?"
"Mmm?"
"You ready to go to bed? 'Cause Jess says I won, so I reckon we can go up now."
"Mkay," she murmured, too sleepy to answer in proper words. Going up to bed was a haze, and she only really woke up when she stubbed her toe at the bottom of the stairs (Anthony hadn't told her that was there, despite saying he'd guide her). She was sure she brushed her teeth, Jessica would have checked, and they were all already in their pyjamas, but the only other thing she remembered before dropping off completely was seeing Anthony's face on the pillow next to her, already snoring lightly.
~~~
Y/n couldn't remember most of Anthony's sixth birthday now, what with all the memories that came in between, but she did remember his joy at receiving her present.
He'd spent the majority of the morning since Y/n and her family went next door gloating about how he was finally six, and now he was old enough to do so much more than Y/n (who was still five). She'd rolled her eyes, laughing when he did victory dances all around the house, and laughing even harder when he fell over while doing one of the previously mentioned dances.
They'd run away and hidden in his room in the attic after collecting plates of cake, and Y/n made sure to pick up her carefully wrapped present on the way up. He'd noticed immediately that she was carrying it, of course, he was far too observant to miss it, and had demanded that she let him open it right then and there. Initially she'd refused, feeling shy and worried that he wouldn't like it, but he'd given her one of his secret smiles, one of the ones reserved specifically for her, and said "Please?" so sweetly she caved.
He placed the cake to the side, then spent a good minute unwrapping the gift, being oh so gentle with the paper in fear of breaking it. When he saw the item inside, his smile burst out, bright and blinding, and Y/n felt her own smile form on her face, pleased at his reaction.
"Do you like it?" Nerves were still coursing through her, but they left her body when he raised his head and met her eyes.
"I love it, Y/n/n," he whispered, lifting the picture frame all the way out of the wrapping. She'd convinced her parents to print the photo off, and then spent hours making a frame that would fit it perfectly, complete with lolly sticks and stickers, trying to make the best gift for the best friend she'd ever had.
The photo was the two of them the previous Christmas, bundled up in ridiculous festive jumpers and sat in front of the Lockwood family tree in the hallway, presents surrounding them. Their parents had insisted on a photo before they ruined the area with rubbish everywhere, and the two of them could barely contain their excitement. There was a slight blur to them, a testament to their energy, but their smiles were so wide and they were hugging so tightly Y/n knew it was the perfect photo to give him.
"Where did you even get this? I thought your mum hid the camera?"
Y/n giggled at his comically wide eyes. "I just asked her, silly. I did have to do some chores but I didn't mind, it was worth it."
She barely had time to move her plate of cake out of the way (she hadn't eaten any in the last few minutes, far too focused on Anthony's reaction) when he surged forward, bringing his arms around her in a crushing hug.
"Thank you," he said, although it was muffled since his head was pressed into her shoulder.
"Anything for you, Ant, anytime."
They stayed there for a while, just hugging on his bed and revelling in each others' presence, both knowing that Y/n had meant her words.
~~~
When Anthony had to fight his parents' ghosts, Y/n had cried.
He was crying too, since he'd seen them die less than a day ago and now he had to keep them dead, but seeing her best friend in so much pain had made Y/n cry harder.
Anthony was trying to push back the tears so that he could see, so that he could fight, and Y/n hated that he was doing this on his own.
She had been kept in her room by her parents, the adults being too scared for their daughter's safety to let her go and help Anthony, and she was watching him through her bedroom window. Despite the tears streaming down her face and the sobs racking her body, she could tell he was crying (or trying not to) because of the way he was hunched into himself, as if by making himself smaller he could make everything stop. His body was shaking too, heaving with silent cries as he fought off the two ghosts in front of him. Why they were in his back garden, Y/n wasn't sure, since they'd died on the road in an explosion a few minutes drive away, but she was only six, and didn't understand much anyway.
She wasn't sure how long she sat there, perched on the window seat with her gaze fixed on the boy next door, but she knew that it was far past her bedtime when he finally stopped them, and she woke up with her face stuck to the window, tear stains on her cheeks.
Realising it was light again, Y/n hurried to get dressed, tearing down the stairs and into the house next to them, knocking rapidly on the front door. It swung open a few moments later, revealing Jessica, who smiled sadly at the small girl in front of her and waved Y/n in.
"He's in his room," she said quietly, voice raw from crying.
Y/n nearly tripped countless times climbing the many stairs, and by the time she'd made it to the attic she was out of breath. Pushing his door open, and going up the last few steps (seriously, why were there so many steps?) she froze at the top when she saw him curled up under his bedsheets, shaking with near-silent cries.
"Anthony?"
She heard him sniff, the sound gross and snotty, and then he turned his body around to face her, and Y/n felt her heart break in her chest.
He clearly hadn't slept all night, eyes red from crying and lack of sleep, and he was struggling to keep back the fresh tears that threatened to break through.
"Oh, Ant."
Y/n rushed to the bed, climbing to sit next to him and pulling his head into her lap, brushing her fingers through his hair.
They sat like that for hours, long after Jessica brought up some toast for the two of them, and even when Y/n's back hurt from the headboard and her legs were numb from having his weight on them, she didn't stop stroking his hair, soothing him silently.
When he finally sat up, wiping his eyes and blowing his nose (Y/n made a mental note to put her clothes in the wash as soon as she got back home), she pulled him back in for a hug, both of them sat up this time.
"Thank you, Y/n/n."
She remembered the last time they'd done this, hugged on his bed while he thanked her, but this time it wasn't happy.
"Anything, Ant. Anytime."
~~~
"Ant, don't be stupid!" Y/n giggled, watching him climb the tree.
"I'm gonna get you an apple," he shouted, smiling down at her. "You're gonna love it, I promise!"
He'd just been reaching out for one, bright red and shining, when they'd heard a crash from inside his house, followed by a scream. They'd frozen where they stood, Y/n on the ground and Anthony in the tree, and then suddenly they snapped into action, scrambling to get inside and find Jessica.
They tore up the stairs (somehow Anthony had caught up to her, despite having been up the tree), and he pushed open her bedroom door just in time to see the ghost.
"NO!"
He moved before Y/n did, grabbing a spare rapier from the dresser and moving to fight, hoping to save his sister.
Y/n moved, but backwards, taking a step back out onto the landing, her hand on her mouth.
"Anthony."
He had pushed the ghost back, and was picking up a net.
"Anthony."
He had thrown the net over the broken pot, wrapping it up securely.
"Anthony," she said, eyes fixed on the bed.
"What?" His eyes were wide with terror as he turned to look at her, evidently scared that she was in danger, but when he followed her finger that pointed to the bed, he choked.
"No," he croaked hoarsely, and Y/n felt terrible for making him realise. "Jessica? Jessica please wake up. Jessica. Jessica, this isn't funny. Jessica, please. Jessica."
He kept on like that, repeating her name and asking her to wake up, but Y/n knew that she wouldn't. She moved again then, over to where he stood, rapier hanging limply in his hand. It had only been three years ago he'd lost his parents, why did he have to lose someone else that he loved? Pulling him into her, she let him sob into her shoulder (difficult, given his growth spurt).
Y/n knew at that point that she wouldn't ever leave him.
~~~
"You what?!"
"I'm starting training," Anthony replied, not looking up from where he stood at the kitchen counter, buttering toast.
"But... but why?"
"Because," he shrugged. When he didn't expand on it, Y/n sighed.
She was worried about him.
He'd been vacant, hollow, since Jessica's death, and although he tried to smile and make everybody think that he was doing just fine, Y/n knew her best friend better than that. She saw the bags under his eyes, the lack of joy and mischief that used to reside in his gaze.
"Because what, Anthony?"
"Look, I'll be fine. This guy called Nigel is gonna train me, and then I'll be an agent, and I can keep you safe."
"I can keep myself safe, idiot," Y/n huffed indignantly, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.
"I know, I just want to be extra sure that you'll be okay. And everyone else."
"We're nine, Anthony. You went to a funeral a week ago and already you're talking to agents?"
"Yes. I'd like it if you came with me, obviously, but if you don't that's fine too. I'm doing this anyway, with or without you."
That hurt.
They always did everything together, so why was he talking like this?
"Fine. I'll talk to my parents. You need protecting too, dummy."
She'd broached the subject that night at dinner, expecting them to say no.
"Are you sure you want to do this, darling?"
"Yep," she said, stabbing some peas with her fork.
Her parents shared a look.
"Alright. Just promise us you'll be careful, and you'll pay attention in your training, yeah?"
Surprise made Y/n jolt, sending peas skidding across the table. "I can go?"
"Yes, but you have to promise us-"
"I promise!" Her parents chuckled, shaking their heads in a way that reminded Y/n of Monopoly and a late night.
~~~
Training was horrible.
Everybody was mean to her, just because she couldn't run as fast as the others, or move as quickly with a rapier.
"Look at her, she's gonna die within minutes!"
"Nah, she'll never make it that long. On the plus side, if she's in our group we only have to run faster than her!"
"Won't be too difficult!"
Y/n scowled at the whispers, making her way over to Anthony. She huffed, plopping down on the bench next to him and glaring at the girls.
"What's up with you?"
"They're being mean about me. Saying I'll be useless in the field."
"Aw, Y/n/n, they're stupid if they think that. You'll be amazing, I'm sure." He nudged her shoulder with his, smile working its way onto his face. Y/n couldn't help but smile back; his was too infectious. "You'll prove them wrong, I'm sure of it."
After that day, Y/n worked ten times as hard on the practical elements, a new intensity coming into her training with the other agents. She sparred against Anthony when they got home, blunt rapiers clashing in her back garden while her parents cooked dinner.
Within a month, she could beat pretty much everyone she trained with, the only exception being Anthony. He'd shown a skill with the rapier from the very beginning, and his long body made him graceful in a fight. She'd nearly beaten him a few times, but then he'd had a fire light in his eyes and he'd push her back, focus deadly as he forgot everything but the fight. She grew scared in those moments, and had stopped trying to beat him, afraid that he'd forget who she was and hurt her.
~~~
When they were fourteen, Y/n broke her promise and walked out on Anthony Lockwood.
He'd started a business, his own goddamn agency, in his own goddamn house, and he'd wanted her to work with him. She barely recognised the boy that stood in front of her the day he asked her; he was a shell of the best friend she used to have. He was vacant still, and she just wanted Anthony Lockwood back.
"Please? It'll be so much better if we're working together! You can come and live here, and your parents are still next door so you're not too far away, and we'll go on cases together, and it'll be great!"
Y/n had shaken her head, fear creeping up her spine. He'd grown a death wish recently, and although he vehemently denied it, she'd seen how he didn't seem to care about his personal safety when on cases led by the trainers.
"Anthony, you can't do this, please. You're gonna get hurt," she pleaded, hoping he'd come to his senses. If he wasn't so broken, she'd say yes, gladly, and work with him as they had always planned they would. But he was broken, and this job could destroy him.
"What, do you think I can't do it?" His brow furrowed in confusion, and Y/n could practically feel his guard start to go up.
He'd never done that with her before.
"It's not that, I just don't want you getting hurt. You're my best friend, Ant, and I don't wanna lose you."
"You won't lose me," he'd raised his voice slightly, pushing off of the kitchen counter as he got defensive. "You've seen me," he swept an arm out, referencing the training missions. "I'm the best agent they've got, and we both know it. I won't get hurt. I'm too good for that."
Y/n scoffed. "Do you hear yourself, Anthony? Do you realise how arrogant you sound? Because that's gonna get you killed." She'd raised her voice too, to match his, and she jabbed a finger into his chest.
"Arrogant? You think I'm arrogant? I thought we were 'best friends'?"
"Why did you say it like that?"
"What?"
"'Best friends', like we're not. You did little finger quotes like it was sarcastic."
"You always do this! Make something out of nothing!"
"What?" Her eyes narrowed. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You tell me! You're the one saying I'm gonna get killed when I'm the most skilled agent we know! Why can't you just trust me?!"
"Because you will, Anthony! You will get yourself killed, and I can't let that happen! You can't start a company, just join Fittes, or Rotwell!"
"Fittes? Rotwell? I'd rather eat my own foot than join one of them! You just think I'm not capable of any of this, don't you? You think, that because my family is dead, I can't do this, because I should be grieving instead. Well I have grieved, and if you don't want to stay, then you can leave. I don't want you here if you're gonna keep being like this. Come back when you've sorted your attitude out." He turned his back, busying himself with making a cup of tea.
Y/n stared at him, mouth open in shock and tears threatening to fall.
"Prick. You're the one that needs to sort your attitude, not me."
She left then, grabbing her bag from the chair and scribbling a 'fuck you, Lockwood' onto the paper cloth on the table.
~~~
A year later, Y/n was working a job, and was actually somewhat happy.
She'd joined Fittes after her argument with Lockwood (she stubbornly refused to call him 'Anthony' until he'd apologised to her), and had been put in Quill Kipps' team. He was nice enough, arrogant and conceited at times, but Y/n put that down to his failing Senses and the stress of being team leader, since he was alright the rest of the time. He was more like an overworked teacher on a school trip with a bunch of primary school kids, and the bags under his eyes really added to the image.
It was a minor threat, Type One ghost that was giving an old lady the creeps, but they'd been waylaid on their way back to Fittes by a group of ghosts in the park, and two figures struggling to fight them all. There had to have been around twenty to thirty ghosts (all Type Ones, but they were angry), and when Kipps wondered aloud who would be so daft as to take them on, Y/n sighed, knowing exactly who would do it.
The Fittes team had jumped in, using the remainder of their flares and energy to help, and Y/n found the source, securing it quickly and efficiently. Mass graves were never fun, and this one wasn't much better. Spreading the silver net over the area, Y/n stood, careful not to jostle it.
"We don't need Fittes coming in, thanks, we were perfectly fine on our own."
"Sure," Kipps snorted. "Because being completely surrounded by ghosts and nearly dying is being perfectly fine. Give it a rest, Tony. Go back to your house and leave the agent work to the professionals, yeah?" Y/n rolled her eyes as she got closer, but she couldn't help but agree with what her leader was saying.
Anthony Lockwood looked terrible.
She had no idea who the other boy was (although he did look vaguely familiar), but he at least didn't look like he was on death's door.
"Y/n?"
She raised her eyebrows (she still couldn't figure out how to raise just the one, despite practicing for hours).
"Lockwood."
He flinched, almost imperceptibly, but she knew him too well to miss it. Nobody else noticed.
"Why are you... Are you working for Fittes?"
"Yes." He wasn't getting more out of her, not until he apologised. Kipps was looking between the two of them, as was the other boy with Lockwood, both clearly confused.
"How do you know each other?" Kipps asked.
"We were-"
"We were neighbours. Didn't talk much outside of that." Her tone was bland, and her face nonchalant, and she turned to leave. "Has somebody called DEPRAC?" Ned nodded, waving the radio in his hand.
"Said they'd be two minutes. Should be here in a minute."
"Perfect. Can we get that tea now, Kipps?"
He hesitated, obviously still unsure about what was going on. "Sure. We'll drop the other Source off first though, yeah?"
They left, and although Y/n could feel Lockwood's stare on her back, she didn't turn around.
~~~
It was a month later that Y/n saw Lockwood again, and it was almost the same situation. Her team had been patrolling the streets, making sure the area was secure, when they'd seen magnesium flares going off. They'd rushed in, and Y/n had scoffed when she caught sight of the long black coat and flashy moves.
"Outta the way, Tony!"
The Fittes team had made quick work of the Type Two, bagging the Source and claiming the reward. Y/n felt a little bad about the money, but at the same time Lockwood needed to learn how to get control over the situations he put himself in if he wanted to keep the reward. He seemed to take on the cases that were ridiculously out of his reach, and if Y/n was speaking to him she'd guess that he was trying to prove a point.
She and her team were warming up in a cafe afterwards, one of the late night ones that opened specifically for agents, when Lockwood and his coworker walked in. The pair breezed past, and when the other boy had smiled apologetically at them and given Y/n a little wave, she remembered who he was.
"George! Wait, it is George, isn't it?"
"Uh, yeah," he scratched the back of his head, and adjusted his glasses on his face. "I wasn't sure you remembered me, to be honest."
"I knew I'd seen you before, it just took me a bit to remember where from. Also it was dark the last two times we saw each other, so that won't have helped. Anyway, how are you?"
They chatted for a while, George shifting the piles of paper he had in his arms.
"Do you need to put those down?" she asked after he readjusted them for what seemed like the millionth time.
"I should probably get over to Lockwood, actually. I'm pretty sure he's burning holes in my jumper right now."
"Oh, he's glaring at me, don't worry."
"Why would he be glaring at you? You're lovely," he questioned, confused. "I thought you were just neighbours anyway?"
"Yeah. We had an argument a while back. He was a knob."
"Oh. Yeah, I can see that he would be." George nodded in understanding. "I should definitely go and join him though. We've got all this to get through," he held up the papers slightly, and Y/n smiled up at him.
"Well good luck, George. See you soon?"
"Probably the next time you save us. Lockwood has a death wish apparently. Doesn't let me research for long enough," he complained, shaking his head as he turned and left. Y/n had been right. Lockwood was being reckless, and he'd get himself, and quite possibly George, killed.
She and her team were just finishing up, with Kipps paying the bill and her other teammates standing with him at the till, when Lockwood came over. Y/n had stepped outside, breathing in the cold night air, and when she heard the door she instinctively turned to look, expecting her coworkers.
"Oh. It's you."
"C'mon. Don't be like that, Y/n."
She snorted. "You know you're proving me right, right? You keep throwing yourself into situations you can't win in, and you're going to get yourself killed."
"I'm not proving you right," he started, frown forming on his face. He'd had another growth spurt, she realised. He'd stepped closer to her, out of the way of the cafe door so that other agents could enter, and now he towered over her.
"Yes, you are. Stop being a dick, Lockwood, and realise that you're going to get yourself seriously hurt someday."
"Since when was I Lockwood to you?"
"You know when."
"True. Lovely message, by the way. Great parting gift."
"Yeah, well you were being an asshole, and it felt fitting to write 'fuck you'."
He muttered something under his breath, too quiet for her to hear.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, 'Yeah, I bet you'd like to'," he repeated, louder this time, meeting her eyes with a smug smile on his face.
"Grow up, Lockwood."
"That's not a denial."
Y/n turned to him, looking him dead in the eyes. "Yes it is." She tried to sound threatening, but that was difficult when he was nearly a whole head taller than her. She was saved by her team coming out of the cafe, and she shoved her hands in her pockets, hunching her shoulders against the chill.
"You alright, Y/n?" Kipps asked, concern for his colleague appearing on his face.
"Yeah, fine. Let's go."
~~~
Those meetings kept happening, and it was beginning to frustrate Y/n.
Lockwood had started being more flirty, as if he actually enjoyed getting on her nerves, and the past year had been exhausting.
It was the same every time.
Y/n's Fittes team would be patrolling, or coming back from a job, or heading to a job, when they'd see two figures, or their flares, or hear their shouts, fighting an incessant number of ghosts. The group would jump in, joining the fight, and somehow Y/n and Lockwood ended up next to each other. She was certain he engineered it that way specifically so that he could irritate her with his comments, and that just irritated her even more. What he said was always the same thing, too.
"Do you come here often?"
"We have to stop meeting like this."
"What are you doing after this?"
When she told him to shut up and focus on the job, he'd ignore her, or answer with something just as bad.
"Make me."
"I'll stop talking if you join me later."
Both of those were said with smug smirks and winks, and Y/n went home to her crappy flat close to the Fittes building (she couldn't stand being near him after the argument) every night wondering what the hell had happened to her old best friend.
The last case had been particularly annoying.
The same routine had occurred, but this time there were three of them.
Y/n was surprised to see the girl, but as soon as she saw her fighting she decided that she liked her. She was feisty, and from what Y/n could tell, didn't take any of Lockwood's shit. She looked like the sort of person Y/n would be friends with, or at least get along with, like with George (they had limited contact outside of saving them).
But then the Fittes team had helped, and Lockwood hadn't come near Y/n.
She was glad in some ways, it meant she didn't have his incessant flirting in her ear, and she was glad, until she looked to see where he'd gone.
He was side by side with the girl, and they fought together like they'd been doing it their whole lives. For some reason it annoyed Y/n, despite the fact she'd sworn to block out any feelings for Lockwood other than annoyance and hate, and she grumbled the rest of the night. Kipps picked up on it, and questioned her.
"What's up with you? Surely you'd be happy that Tony left you alone?"
"Yeah, I am. It's something else, don't worry."
"Alright... well, don't let it get to you too much, yeah? We need you focusing on missions, you're too good at what you do."
Y/n nodded, flushing slightly at the compliment.
They made it to the cafe just as Lockwood and Co did, and Y/n bristled at seeing the three of them laughing together.
Well, at seeing Lockwood and the girl laughing together.
George she was just happy to see, he was always nice to her back when he worked at Fittes, and when they passed each other in the Archives or finished jobs together, and she didn't think she could ever be mad at him.
Lockwood and his new colleague, however, she could justify.
"Oh, hi!"
Ugh, she was nice. That made disliking her even harder.
"Hi," Y/n forced a smile, hoping it didn't look too fake.
"I'm Lucy," she said, coming closer to Y/n as the two of them trailed behind the others.
"Y/n. How long you been working with him then?"
"Uh, about a week? Do you... do you not like Lockwood or something?"
"What makes you say that?"
"You just... said 'him' like you wanted to rip his head off."
"Oh. Well, that's one thing I wanna do to him."
Apparently Lockwood tuned in to their conversation at that specific moment, because he turned around, smirk already in place.
"What are the other things you want to do to me, Y/n? I'd love to find out later. My place or yours?"
Y/n scoffed, pushing past him to join her teammates. Behind her she heard a thump, followed by a small "Ow!" Assuming that Lucy had hit him, Y/n smiled, and started liking the girl again. Maybe she wasn't as bad as she originally thought.
~~~
It had been nearly two years since Y/n had first met Lucy, and her second impression of the girl had stuck.
They'd saved Lockwood and Co far too many times since the girls had first met, but Y/n didn't mind. She enjoyed seeing Lucy and George (and Lockwood, but she wouldn't tell anyone that), and if getting involved and having to suffer Lockwood's chatter meant that the three of them lived another day, Y/n would gladly take that sacrifice.
Y/n and Lucy met up regularly in the down time that they both shared, either at Y/n's flat, or in a cafe or shop somewhere. Sometimes George came along, having snuck out under the pretence that he was researching at the Archives, and the three of them had lengthy chats about pretty much anything. Lockwood came up in conversation a lot, of course, given he was something they all had in common, but Y/n always steered away from the subject.
Tonight, however, she wasn't getting let off the hook.
"Why do you always do that?" Lucy asked, stuffing a chip in her mouth. They were sat on the floor of Y/n's tiny kitchen, take away boxes of food in front of them.
"Do what?"
"Whenever Lockwood gets mentioned you start talking about other things. Why do you do that?"
Y/n shrugged, eating some of her own food. "'Cause he's a knob and I don't want to think about him more than I have to?"
"He's always flirting with you though, and you always flirt back."
"Thanks for the observation, George. And I do not flirt back!"
"Oh you totally do, like earlier, right, he was saying something about how your uniform really compliments your complexion or something, and you look really good in it, and you said, wait, George, you take over, I need a drink," Lucy spoke.
"You said 'thanks, I look better without it', and winked at him. I had to physically push him out of the way of a ghost because he was stood staring at you like an idiot."
"He always looks like an idiot," Y/n mumbled, cheeks going red.
"George is right, he's actually gonna end up hurting himself if you two don't get on with it soon."
"He's at risk of death anyway! And get on with what?"
"Snogging," Lucy said, at the same time George said "Making out."
Y/n stared at her friends, hand pausing halfway to her mouth, chip in between her fingers. "What?!"
"Seriously, there's so much tension I could slice it with my rapier. Just stick your tongue in his mouth already."
"Lucy!"
The girl just shrugged. "We are seventeen, you know that right? I know people who've shagged at seventeen. I'm honestly surprised the two of you haven't yet, which is why you need to get on with it."
"That would be... no, that's too weird."
"Why is it weird? He's your old neighbour, you had an argument about something petty probably, and now he's flirting with you 'cause he's realised how hot you are. If he doesn't kiss you I will, just so I can say I kissed the hottest girl I know."
"Aw, thanks Luce. I'd rather kiss you than him, to be honest."
"The bar is low. He's punching."
"Definitely. You alright George?"
"I don't understand girls," he replied, having been quiet the last few minutes while Y/n and Lucy went back and forth. "What did you argue about, anyway? Because you've held a grudge against him for at least three years now and I have never known why."
"Was it petty?"
"No, Lucy, it wasn't petty." Y/n sighed, taking a break from eating. "He... We were fourteen, just finished all of our training, and he told me he wanted to start his agency."
"That is kinda petty though."
"Lemme finish. I don't know how much he's told you about his family," she paused, looking at the other two.
"Not much, but we know they're all dead."
"Yeah, and he showed us Jessica's room."
Y/n raised her eyebrows. He'd kept that room stubbornly locked since she'd died.
"Right. Well, a week after her funeral, he told me he wanted to start training to be an agent. We were nine, and he was definitely not okay at all. Anyway, we did it, and then like I said, when we'd finished, he told me he wanted to start an agency in his house and he wanted me to join him. He was still not himself, and I was just worried that he was going to end up killing himself. Hell, he'd almost hurt me a few times in training. We were the top two in our academy, so we ended up fighting together a lot. But he'd get... intense. Focused. But not in a good way. It was like... he saw anyone he was up against as a ghost, and he wanted revenge for what had happened with his family. We argued about the agency. I told him something about how if he did it he'd just end up hurt, because I knew him and I knew that he wouldn't think he had anything to live for. He took that to mean that I thought he was incapable, and he told me to leave and that I could come back when I'd fixed my attitude."
The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes, Y/n staring at her take away box in her lap, George and Lucy absorbing everything she'd told them.
"Fuck," Lucy finally said, breaking the quiet.
"Yeah."
"Wait, so you weren't just neighbours?" George asked. "You must have been closer than that if you knew him so well."
"Best friends. We're the same age, and our parents had lived next to each other since before we were born. Just made sense really that we were friends."
"Does he know? That you were worried about him?" Lucy questioned.
"Probably not. Should have guessed it though, given how close we were. I mean, he's seen me ugly cry at funerals, and they weren't even my relatives, they were his."
"Maybe you should talk to him? I know, I know, he needs to apologise for being a knob, but you were fourteen. I mean, it's three years on and he's still the mental age of a five year old, but talking might help?"
"Anyway, Lockwood's hopeless when it comes to women. Completely clueless," George added.
"How would you know?" Y/n frowned, not liking the way her heart clenched at the idea of Lockwood talking to other girls.
"Because he hasn't done anything about you, and you're probably the most amazing girl that's ever going to get a chance with in his life. Maybe he's intimidated by you."
"He's not getting a chance. Not like that. Don't look at me like that, Luce. If I don't kiss him that means I'm kissing you."
"Oh, alright then. I'm fine if you don't wanna make up with him," she replied, cheeky smile appearing on her face.
They left the topic alone after that, moving on to other subjects, but Y/n couldn't help but think about the boy with a death wish.
~~~
It was only a week after her evening with George and Lucy that Y/n had to help save Lockwood again (it was so ridiculous she was almost entirely convinced he came unprepared just so that he could see her).
"Miss me, darling?"
"In your dreams, Lockwood," she shouted back at him, dodging a Type Two. She gritted her teeth as she hit the ground, jagged rocks digging in and pain shooting through her side. Rolling, she stood again, panicking for a moment when she realised she'd dropped her rapier.
"Here you go, darling," Lockwood said, appearing out of nowhere with her rapier. "Do I get a reward for returning your belongings?"
"Yeah, you do, actually," she replied, getting close enough to him she could feel his breath on her face. "You get to not be stabbed by me. Duck." He did, almost immediately, and Y/n threw a flare at the Spectre behind him. Lockwood popped back up, somehow still smiling despite the utter carnage surrounding them.
"If I got hurt, would you visit me in hospital?"
"Yeah, to finish you off."
He laughed, and Y/n turned away so he couldn't see the blush rising on her face at the sound. As she did so, she caught a glimpse of something that definitely wasn't dead rummaging around where she had thought the Source for the cluster was.
Relic men.
"Lockwood?"
"Yes, my love?"
"Relic men, over by the Source. What are we gonna do about them?" She hadn't taken her eyes off of the two figures that were crouched by the oak tree, afraid that if she moved her gaze they would run off. When Lockwood only cursed, she panicked, wondering what was wrong. Normally by now he would have charged in to the fight, all guns blazing. Why wasn't he doing that now? Had he suddenly realised that she was right? Because this was really terrible timing if he had. "Lockwood?" Her voice had gone up in pitch, fear making it quiver. Relic men were nasty, and a lot harder to deal with than ghosts. Ghosts she'd been trained for.
"We're surrounded by them. They're blocking all reasonable exits."
"Shit. Okay. What about unreasonable exits?"
"What?"
"You said they're blocking all reasonable exits, yeah? So what about the unreasonable ones? Could we get out anywhere else?"
"Uh... there's a gap in the fence over there," he pointed. "But that would mean letting them have the Source. It's too powerful, we can't let that happen."
"Ugh, okay, hang on. Go and tell the others, just in case they haven't noticed."
"What about you?"
"I'm keeping an eye on these two, make sure they don't get away. I'll try and get closer, but there's a lot of Type Ones in the way."
"You'll be okay?"
"If I die you can take me on a date."
"That's... what? That doesn't make sense."
"Take it or leave it, Lockwood. Get a move on."
He left, casting a last look over his shoulder at her before disappearing into the night to find the others. Y/n felt unease creep up her spine, and she gripped her rapier tighter, her other hand hovering over the remaining flares in her belt. The relic men were still digging, and a few of the ghosts had noticed the disturbance now, moving over. Y/n frowned, a thought occurring to her.
Relic men waited until the ghosts were gone.
So what were they doing here, now? Why endanger themselves? Before she could think on it further, she felt the air shift behind her and ducked to the left just as a fist appeared in the space her head was in mere seconds ago.
Shit.
She pulled herself back up, readjusting her grip on the rapier and taking a quick glance over to the tree. Seeing the two relic men still there, Y/n whipped back around, ducking again just in time to miss the next punch. The man pulled out a knife, the edges jagged, and a wicked grin came over his face. Y/n gulped, then parried his attacks. He was relentless, swinging and then swinging again immediately after, never letting up on her. It was all she could do to keep her arm upright and strong enough to block him, and the ache in her side from hitting the ground earlier was turning into a throb that wracked her body with pain. The relic man noticed the weakness, and his grin grew wider, broken teeth showing. He became even more frantic in his attacks, and Y/n felt herself stumbling backwards over the grass. The floor was uneven, and she tripped, crashing onto her back. She got her rapier up in time to hold off the relic man's knife that had carved a path through the air to cut through her head, but he was stronger than her, and his blade was edging closer to her face. He was only using the one hand, and Y/n realised a split-second too late that his other hand was reaching for his belt, where a second knife was strapped. Her eyes widened in recognition briefly right before he plunged the blade into her side, and she let out a scream.
The pain was all-consuming, and it took everything in her to keep her rapier up, the shockwaves coursing through her body. She took a hazy note of the fact that he hadn't pulled it out yet, which was good, but her vision was blurry, which was not so good. At least if the knife was still inside her body then she wasn't losing too much blood. Her grip weakened, and she saw the other knife jolt towards her face before it disappeared, the man being flung backwards into the bushes in a flash of light. Lucy appeared, hair wild and filled with leaves, her own rapier in hand. She crouched down, pressing a hand to Y/n's cheek and checking if she was okay.
"Threw a flare at him, should knock him out for a while. LOCKWOOD! HURRY UP! Sorry, I told him to get his ass over here just now, but he's stuck with some ghosts, and they're-"
"Lucy?"
"Yeah?" Her voice was hopeful, glad that her friend was conscious enough to speak.
"Please stop talking."
"Y/N!"
She winced at the shout, and Lucy moved over to make room for Lockwood. Y/n rolled her eyes at the cuts on his face, and the gash on his arm. "You can't help yourself, can you? Gotta throw yourself into danger headfirst."
"Shut up. Can you sit?"
"Did you just tell me to shut up? Anthony Lockwood, do not tell me to shut up when I could be dying."
"Y/n, please, don't do this. Can you sit?" His voice was insistent, desperation seeping into his expression, and his glare was convincing enough that she tried to sit up. The pain in her side was too much though, and she ended up half-slumped against a tree. "Who did this? Y/n? Who did this to you?" His tone was lower now, with something dangerous in the background.
"Lucy hit him with a flare. He's over there somewhere." She waved in the general direction she'd seen him disappear in. "Anthony, where are you going?" He froze, looking down at her from where he now stood. The full moon was behind him, and he looked otherworldly in the silver light.
"Lucy will stay with you, okay? Just hang on. I'll be back in a minute. Don't die on me now, Y/n/n." He softened a little at the last part, trying to convey a million emotions in a few words.
"Wait, I'm staying here?"
"Yes, Lucy." And with that he left, stalking in the direction Y/n had pointed him in.
"You alright?"
"Brilliant, thanks Luce," Y/n replied, and then she promptly passed out.
~~~
A soft beeping woke Y/n up, and the harsh light above her and the sterile smell in the air immediately told her that she was in a hospital.
That didn't explain the warmth in her left hand though.
Blinking as she adjusted to the bright light, she turned her head to the left, and had she not been drugged up on painkillers she would have reacted much more quickly and jerked away.
But she was drugged up on painkillers, so instead she just stared at the boy asleep in the chair next to her bed.
Anthony looked peaceful when he slept, he always had, but he didn't look particularly comfortable right now. His right hand was holding her left, and he'd managed to pull one of his long legs up onto the chair, bracing his forehead on his knee while his left arm dangled off the side of the armrest. Yeah, he couldn't be comfortable like that. She squeezed his hand lightly, but he didn't wake. A nurse came in, and upon seeing Y/n awake, smiled.
"Your boyfriend must love you a lot. He hasn't left your side since you came in. Rode in the ambulance with you too, which he wasn't meant to. Paramedics said he was very insistent and needed treating anyway, so they let him. He's been really worried about you." Y/n was on too much morphine to fully comprehend what was going on, and her brain had stopped working properly at the word 'boyfriend' anyway.
"Oh," was all she said, and the nurse smiled, going through her checkups. Y/n drifted in and out of consciousness for half an hour before Anthony woke up.
He blinked a few times, just as she had, stretching like a cat, long limbs going everywhere but never removing his hand from hers. His grip only tightened, and when he saw her watching him with a small smile on her face, he returned it.
"You're awake."
"No, I'm dead," she deadpanned. "Obviously I'm awake, idiot. If I died I'd have to go on a date with you."
He frowned. "Would that really be so bad?"
"Yeah. You should be going on a date with me, not the other way around."
He laughed lightly, more an amused exhale than anything else. "You are so drugged up right now."
"Yep," she replied, popping the 'p'. His thumb was stroking across her hand, and Y/n wondered if he knew he was doing it.
~~~
"Ugh, do I have to live at yours? What's wrong with my house?"
"You live on the fifth floor and there aren't any lifts. You were also specifically told not to climb too many stairs."
"Yeah, but your house has almost as many stairs as my apartment building, so what's the difference?"
"The difference is that I can look after you here, because I live here. Don't touch that, it's still healing, and- ow!"
"Oh shit, sorry. It looks healed."
"Yeah, well you're not the only one that got stabbed, alright? Here, let me get the door."
Anthony sprung up the last step, fishing the keys out of his coat pocket and unlocking the door. Y/n followed behind, wincing when the movement up the stairs put pressure on her wound. She'd been in hospital for two weeks once she'd woken up, and had been told to stay at home until she was properly healed. Anthony had taken on the role of carer immediately, and the nurses had all mentioned (multiple times) what a good and loving boyfriend he was, looking after Y/n the way he was, despite his own injuries.
Neither of them had denied it.
Once inside 35 Portland Row, Y/n took a look around, and was surprised to see that it had barely changed in the last three years.
"Right. Tea? I think George has just put the kettle on."
"Anthony?"
"Yeah?" His smile was tentative, clearly not wanting to scare her off when she'd just started calling him by his first name again.
"Please don't make me sleep on the sofa. Because that looks like the same one your parents got when we were four and I remember how uncomfortable that one is." She pointed to the sofa in question, and he shook his head.
"No, you're not sleeping there. What sort of a boyfriend would I be if I let that happen?" he joked, and Y/n felt her heart flutter at the idea. "You can sleep in my bed, alright? It's only one flight of stairs, which will hurt, but it'll be good for you to get the exercise in, make sure you're healing properly."
Y/n frowned. "Where are you sleeping if I'm in your bed?" She half expected him to say that he'd be right next to her, but he smiled softly again.
"Sofa. No, don't look at me like that, I've slept in worse places."
"What worse places? Ant, you've got to look after yourself! God, you're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days."
She started making her way up the stairs, huffing from the effort. She was tired, despite having spent just over two weeks lying down, and it was already late in the evening.
"It doesn't matter, alright? Just... let's just get you to bed, okay?"
"You're sleeping in a bed, and that's that."
"You are so stubborn sometimes."
"So are you!" She made it to the half landing, and hobbled over to the door she remembered being Anthony's. "You still in here?" At his nod, she pushed the door open, going over to the bed and sitting on the edge. "Seriously, this bed is big enough for the both of us. I'm not letting you sleep on the sofa, Ant. It's super uncomfortable."
"Won't that be... I don't know. Won't that be weird?"
"Why would it be weird?"
"Because we haven't... we're not... you don't like me and I'm scared you're going to murder me in my sleep."
"You... what? Uh... okay. I'm not gonna murder you in your sleep, Ant. One, that's completely dishonourable. I would do it while you were awake so that you could look into the eyes of your killer. Two, I do like you, I just also need you to apologise. For what you said."
"You want me to apologise? I was just defending myself, because I was hurt by what you said. You made out like I wasn't capable and that stung, because you'd always been my biggest supporter."
"Oh for fuck's sake, Anthony. I wasn't saying that at all. I was worried about you because you weren't yourself after Jess died. You were... I don't know. You weren't you, and it freaked me out when you said you were starting an agency, because it's a crazy thing to do! You sort of became a shell of my best friend, and disappeared, and I was worried that you would die and I would lose you because you wouldn't care about living anymore. I know that you are perfectly capable of fighting, and you're one of the best swordsmen I've ever met, but you're an emotional wreck, Ant."
He was quiet for a bit, staring into space as he thought about her words. Y/n sighed, lying down on the covers and closing her eyes.
"I'm sorry." She felt the bed dip next to her as he sat down. "I'm sorry. I said some horrible things to you and you had every right to leave. I don't have an excuse for what I said, and if you want to leave tomorrow morning then I'll help you move into your flat again. But I just... I'm sorry, Y/n/n."
Y/n sighed again. "I don't want to go. I've missed it here," she admitted. "And yeah, you were an idiot and an arse, but you're my idiot, alright? You have a lot of grovelling to do as well." He nodded rapidly, and a secret smile spread on his face, one of the ones he showed her and nobody else.
"Your idiot?"
"Yes, Anthony. My idiot." They smiled at each other, soft and gentle. A thought occurred to Y/n, and her brow furrowed. "What happened after I passed out in the park? All I remember is you looking murderous and asking who stabbed me."
"Oh, right." Anthony looked away, blush creeping up his neck.
"What happened?"
"He's not coming after you again, if that helps. Or anyone. DEPRAC completely purified the area."
Y/n gaped at him. "You killed him?"
Anthony shrugged. "He hurt you, badly, and you could have been killed. If Lucy had been a second later..." He trailed off, eyes clouding over slightly.
"Ant?" Y/n pushed herself up into a sitting position, wincing at the stab of pain that shot through her in protest.
"Hmm?" he turned to look at her, and his eyes went wide when she slid an arm up around his neck.
"Lucy and George think that we need to make out."
"They, uh... they what?"
"They think that we need to make out."
He swallowed thickly, eyes flickering between hers, trying to figure out what was going on. When he spoke, it was in a hoarse whisper.
"What do you think?"
"I think we should listen to them. They're normally right about things. What about you?"
"Uh... okay?"
Y/n hesitated, suddenly unsure.
"Ant, do you want to? Because if you don't that's totally fine, I just assumed that you felt the same as me, and we were both fine with the hospital thinking that we're dating, and I genuinely really like you, and I probably love you-" she was cut off by his lips on hers, slightly chapped but still soft.
"I do want to, I'm just hopeless around girls, especially the ones I've loved since I was about ten." He'd barely pulled away, his nose brushing the side of hers, breath fanning over her lips.
"George was right about that too, then," she murmured, kissing him again. "He said you were hopeless with women."
"Thank god. I thought he knew I've been in love with you for years."
"Oh you're in love now, are you?"
"Started about seven years ago, but sure." He pushed forward again, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek as he kissed her softly and slowly.
"Is that why you flirted with me?"
Anthony flushed, nodding slightly. "In my defence I am completely hopeless with pretty girls, and I wanted to know if there was any chance of you sharing my feelings."
Y/n kissed him again, short and sweet. "I love you, Anthony Lockwood. Just look after yourself more, yeah?"
"I love you too," he replied. Y/n prodded him in the side.
"And?"
"And I'll look after myself more," he said, smiling. "Anything for you, anytime."
They kissed again, for longer this time, exploring each other and being mindful of their injuries, and Y/n thought she could happily spend eternity wrapped up in his arms
"You're definitely not sleeping on the sofa," she said when they paused for air a while later.
"If you say so," he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. She smacked a hand against his chest, face going red at his implication.
"Not like that, idiot."
"Your idiot," he smiled, pure joy on his face as he pecked her lips.
"My idiot," she replied, mirroring his grin.
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bloodcanbehot · 2 years
Text
I Wish You Would
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(gotta keep that Taylor Swift theme)
Anthony Lockwood x f!reader
Content: Angst? Fluff? Touched starved Lockwood
Warnings: Mention of blood and wounds, also some curse words (I think)
Characters: Anthony Lockwood and (y/n) Kipps. (Lucy Carlyle and Quill Kipps also appear)
Word count: 1.083
A/N: Exactly two people told me to post it, and that was enough (I'm literally about to enter to an online class while typing this). Chronology speaking, this goes BEFORE their first kiss but I'm a dumbass and forgot to post this one first, hope you like it
(I'll attach their first kiss here)
“Where were you?” Quill asked, seeing both Lockwood and (y/n) walk in with dirt on their faces and hair. As soon as he spoke, his sister’s face told him to not speak, unless he wanted to die.
“We’re fine!” (y/n) said, grabbing Lockwood by the arm and walking to the kitchen.
“You guys don’t look-” Lucy started, but the slamming of the door cut her off.
“Sit”
“I’m not your dog”
“And I don’t care” (y/n) said, pointing at the kitchen chair “sit down”
Lockwood did as she said, even though he didn’t want to. (y/n) started taking out items from the first aid kit, slamming them on the table as she cursed.
“I cannot fucking believe you” she said “seriously, why is it so hard for you to take care of yourself while we’re out on a case?” (y/n) asked, soaking a small piece of cotton with disinfectant. She grabbed Lockwood’s arm, forcefully moving the sleeve of his dress shirt up to see his cut better.
“(y/n) I-” Lockwood started, hissing when the cotton made contact with the cut on his arm.
“This might hurt” (y/n) said, after hearing him hissing, a smirk on her face.
“Okay” Lockwood said “I deserved that”
“You deserve more” (y/n) said “actually, you don’t even deserve me doing this for you, should I just tell my brother to do it, so you suffer a bit more?” she questioned, sarcasm all over her voice.
“(y/n)-”
“You know, when Luce told me you were reckless, I thought 'well, he's certainly not stupid' guess I was wrong!” she grabbed one of the big band aids and covered his cut.
“(y/n) I’m sorry, okay?” he said “this wasn’t reckless, I had a plan, it just didn’t work”
“Wow, what a surprise”
“I didn’t know the golden blade was gonna be there!”
“The what?” (y/n) stood up, forgetting about his other cuts.
“Last year we encountered him” Lockwood explained “we think he somehow works for Penelope Fittes-”
“My boss?”
“Yes” Lockwood nodded “he tried to steal the bone glass from Lucy and I” he explained “he’s also the one who shot me” he grabbed her hand “you have to believe me”
(y/n) looked at his eyes, processing what he had said in silence, enough to make Lockwood panic, the hold on her hand tightening.
“I… I believe you” she said, sitting back down. She wasn’t gonna lie, she always felt a weird vibe from the woman, or the entire agency for that matter. And she didn’t think Lockwood would lie to her.
He sighed in relief “Thank you (y/n)-”
“What I also believe” she started, letting go of his hand and grabbing a new cotton piece “is that your other cuts need to be taken care of” she said “specially this one” she tapped slightly the cut on his forehead, making him hiss again “I thought you were good at fencing?”
“I am” Lockwood shot back “I was just… surprised”
“Your blood says otherwise” (y/n) replied “now, lean closer so I can help”
Lockwood only nodded and whispered a small ‘yes’, letting her do the work and leaning closer as she instructed. As she leaned in, she quickly realized how her back was going to kill her if she did that, so she grabbed her chair and dragged it a bit closer to his, eventually ending up with her thigh in the middle of his thighs.
Lockwood chuckled “you might as well sit on my lap if you-”
“Shut up or I’ll do it” she cut him off with a smile.
He smirked “be my guest”
She ignored him, grabbing the back of his head to steady it as she disinfected the cut across his forehead. She was focused, focused on cleaning the blood and figuring out which bandage to use, but Lockwood’s wandering hands on her knee were distracting her.
It started with his fingers, slowly tapping her knee, barely noticeable, and she wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t kept going at it. His fingers slid across her knee and (y/n) made her best to ignore it, but as she stood up to change the cotton piece, he pushed her leg open, causing her to fall on his lap.
“That’s better” he said, smirk on his lips again.
“Lockwood-”
“Please” he said, voice so quiet she barely heard him.
She looked at his eyes, and for one moment she saw his mask crack. His dark circles and clenched jaw showed her how tired and stressed he was. She couldn’t even imagine how much his muscles ached after the fight, let alone the throbbing of the multiple cuts on his skin.
“Fine” she whispered, not trusting her own voice with the feeling of his hands on her waist.
She kept doing her thing in silence and he just watched her, tracing small circles on her sides with his thumbs. (y/n) just wanted to close her eyes and enjoy it, enjoy his touch on her skin and wish she could feel it for longer, to forget about the case, the fight, everything. She wanted to focus on him and him only.
“There” she said, breaking whatever spell was between them. She grabbed his chin, angling his face to admire the, now taken care of, cut “you’ll live”
He chuckled, smiling truthfully for the first time that night, or since (y/n) knew him, she didn’t care. She liked the small glow on his face.
They locked eyes, the blanket of silence settling on them again. (y/n)’s fingers slid across his chin towards his jaw, making him close his eyes and just enjoy her touch. His hands started moving up her waist, slowly, also making her want to close her eyes and enjoy, but she still leaned forward, closer and closer to him.
He felt it, the weight shift on his lap, some of her curly locks tickling his shoulders.
She could feel their lips almost touching.
The door opened, making her open her eyes wide and snap her neck so hard she wondered if this is how she was going to die. That would be better than the image she saw.
Both Lucy and her brother were standing at the doorstep. (y/n) stumbled off Lockwood’s lap, feeling his hands fly away from her and almost fell. Chair and all.
She gripped the thinking cloth “I was tending his cut” she stupidly said.
She could feel how Quill resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose as she looked at him.
“You sure were”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A/N: I feel like this scene and the other one are pretty similar, so if I do write the fanfic I'll change it, but let me know what you think! (Again, be nice)
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writtenontheport · 1 year
Text
Just a Night at Portland Row
(pt.1) (pt.2)
Anthony Lockwood x (gn) Reader
Warnings/Tags: Literal romcom, These people are silly, Everyone’s so sillycore here, teary confessions, someone accidentally confesses, nothing dramatic happens he’s just silly, Childhood friends to lovers, Lockwood is kinda stupid (affectionate), no smut or suggestive content, Lockwood and co and reader friendship, whether or not what Lockwood says at the end actually happens is up to you!!
Notes: I have quite a few issues with this one, and I’m not entirely satisfied with it, but I think it’s one of the better ways I could go about it. I also put all the flowers meanings at the bottom, so if you were curious I did in fact plan the flower meanings (I am a nerd). This finale has gone through about 20 revisions on the first day alone, so if anything seems jarringly out of place, I am so sorry 😭 I was all over the place with my ideas.
Summary: Just before supper time, you and Lockwood have a heart to heart, and it starts as it always has: with flowers, with tears, and a little funny thing called love.
word count: 2.4k+
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“George,” Lockwood says seriously. It’s the first time George has ever seen him so serious about something that isn’t Lucy or him dying and it shocks him how quick he is to steel himself for whatever it is. “I need you to get Lucy to bring them down here, if you can, please.”
Now, ‘them’ is obviously referring to you, who’s laughing away upstairs with Lucy so loud they can hear it ring through the vents. If this wasn’t something George has genuinely been excited for, he would have smacked Lockwood upside the head for using that terrifying tone. “Don’t say it like that, prick. Thought someone was dying there.”
Lockwood grins at him from where he’s messing with the bouquet stood up on the table. The paper wrapping hasn’t been removed, courtesy of the empty vase and that water would most likely melt it; ribbon still intact. They stand, not quite fully in bloom (which is the best way to buy flowers, because otherwise they wilt right away) but just on the precipice of it. It’s packed with other, smaller additions, but at the heart of it, well. Maybe Lockwood did know something about the language of flowers.
“How’d you even pick them out?” George asks instead, watching Lockwood’s grin wobble.
“I made friends with the shopkeeper. He wouldn’t tell me what any of them meant, but he said they were good flowers— like the carnations. One of them though… these white ones here, just felt familiar somehow.” He kept messing about with the bouquet, meddling with any loose leaf or bud. “Can you please go get them? I want them to be able to see the flowers before they wilt.”
George does swat Lockwood for that, but he goes upstairs to get you. You and Lucy have moved to her room on George’s urging (he made Lockwood wait outside before coming in to make sure you didn’t know) and were lying in her bed on your stomachs, reading and sharing books. Lucy’s the first to look up at him, raising a brow as she nudges you.
“George? Everything ok?” You ask, propping yourself up to sit criss cross on the mattress. “Has Anthony come back yet?”
“He has,” he says simply, “He says he needs you in the kitchen. Lucy should stay since she must be tired from the case yesterday.”
From behind you, Lucy has a moment of realization that has her tucking her lips to hide a smile. Quietly, she puts a hand up to her forehead in a salute to George.
“You should go check,” she says, “Who knows what kind of trouble he might be in.”
“A lot of trouble,” George adds, nodding slightly along. You narrow your eyes in suspicion, but you get up off the bed.
“I’ll save your place!” She calls just as you’re headed down. George walks 2 steps behind you to hide his expression before he can school it, feeling giddy with nerves that aren’t even his to have. He wonders how Lockwood’s doing, stopping just at his bedroom door.
You turn back, asking “You aren’t coming?”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He rocks gently on his feet and pulls his hands behind his back, reassuring you with a calm nod. “Off you go, Lockwood’s probably burnt himself making tea by now or something.”
“I’d hope not…” you mumble, each step down like a crescendo in the world’s most suspenseful piece of music— every floorboard creak like the lead instrument and your heartbeat acting a steady base. On a sheet you’re sure it looks hideous, but it levels out when you open the door and Lockwood’s waiting there by the counter, looking like he’s straight off a magazine. The silence creeps in, but the piece rises to new heights as the sound of everything— the floorboards, the vents— suddenly dulls out.
You step into the kitchen, and let the door shut behind you.
There is your Anthony, standing there in the middle of the kitchen with a bouquet full of dazzling pink tulips, red roses, and spots of white jasmine flowers. There is Anthony, the boy you’ve known and loved for years— looking at you like he always does: like you’re the whole world and sky and everything he wakes up for.
Neither of you speak for a good minute, but it’s not without trying. Lockwood spends that pregnant pause fumbling for words, before—
“I love you,” He says.
The words come rushing out his lips, hurried and desperate. It shocks you how simply he puts it, like a sudden rest in the notes that takes you by surprise. He looks surprised too; horrified, really, that he’s just blurted that out. He swallows thickly, steeling his expression into something determined.
“I—“ you pause, the words caught in your throat, blood pounding in your ears. You think you tear up, but you can’t really tell when the whole world narrows down to Anthony Lockwood across from you in the kitchen of Portland Row, professing his love in the spur of the moment. You grow warm with affection, taking a step closer to him as the music of your singing heart drowns out everything but his words.
He takes a deep breath, his face pale with fear as he swallows and says quietly,, “Today, when I went down to the shops to get you these flowers, I met the really old man tending to them. Don’t look at me like that, he was really old, alright?”
“Anthony,” you scold quietly, tutting at him as you wrap your hands around his.
He bites the inside of his cheek before he keeps going. “Anyways he isn’t the point— I brought him up because he made me realise that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I never gave telling you a shot. He lived loving someone else until they died— even after they did, and if… if there was a chance I could have that with you, I wanted to take it. I can’t promise you that I’ll be alive for as long as you will be, but I can promise you that I will love you for everyday I live and breathe if you let me.”
“Anthony,” you start, breathlessly. You take his face in your hands and he puts the bouquet down to cover your hands with his. He looks so scared like this, fragile like glass in your hands and pale with nerves.
“I can’t promise you forever,” He says solemnly, “But I can promise you my heart for as long as it beats.”
You take a deep breath through your nose, and will yourself not to kiss him. Years down to minutes— minutes to seconds. The silence hangs like a winding note. You glance back quickly at the bouquet, picking out one of the jasmine flowers before sliding it behind his ear and resting your hands on his face.
“Do you remember the first flower I gave you?” You ask just as quietly. He shakes his head, cheeks rubbing against the skin of your palms. “We were… quite young at the time, and I must have been mad, because I stole it from the neighbour’s garden. Yes, the grumpy one, you remember her. Well, I ran straight over from all the way from home with this crumpled little thing in hand— stop giggling. I’m telling you an important story— and you lit up like a light. Cheeky little thing you were, finding a way to give it back to me when I got scolded the same day for stealing and I was awful sore about the whole thing.”
“You looked all sad,” He cut in, voice hoarse in a mumble, “It made me happy, so I wanted it to make you happy too.”
You laugh, just as breathless, “And it worked, Anthony. It’s still one of my favourite flowers. Did you know that? They were the first flowers I read up on when I learned flowers could have meanings.”
“What’d you find?” He asks, the nerves fading into a hopefulness that fills his eyes with stars. It’s helplessly endearing where you see them shine, nearly nose to nose with how close you’re holding him.
You hum and close your eyes, pushing your forehead against his. “We gave each other white jasmine flowers, that day. A lot of people say they mean purity or innocence, but the one that stuck out to me was that people say it meant “everlasting love” too. When I look back on it now, it must’ve been fate.”
“Cause I always loved you and you probably realised that with how stupid I get about you?”He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close.
You chuckle quietly, just as helplessly lost, “Not quite. I didn’t even think there was a chance you could love me back, though that does make everything a bit easier… because I’ve always loved you, Anthony.”
Like a child on Christmas day, Lockwood’s eyes grow wide; he’s helpless to the grin that splits his face. “Really?”
“I’m no liar, Anthony, and certainly not about this,” you laugh, unable to help yourself as you tip back and rest your nose lightly against his.
“No like— you mean it?” He asks, voice cracking with hope as he searches your face, “You love me? You love me?”
You’re helplessly endeared, helplessly in love and helplessly lost to it, so you just whisper back with a grin as wide, “Yes, Anthony. I love you.”
What little space between you both is gone in a second when he pushes his lips against yours. It’s a desperate thing, all relief and comfort and love pouring out. At some point, you’re both smiling too wide and too much for it to be anything more than just pushing your lips against each other’s and you pull away with a wet laugh.
He grins wider, and you didn’t think it was possible but he manages it. “I’m so glad, because if I had to go back to the shopkeeper with a terrible story about how I got rejected by the love of my life—“
You giggle and swat at his arm, wrapping your arms around him, “Of course that’s what you worry about. This is all a publicity stunt, yeah? To boost your ego.”
“Of course,” he says, with no weight to the words as he sniffs and blinks away the last of his tears, “Though that just means we should make it a bigger stunt and get married. I’ll even invite Kipps just to rub it in his face.”
You hum, helplessly amused, when the door slams open and George shamelessly walks in with at first his usual deadpan, then a pleased expression. From behind George, Lucy is brimming with happiness, smiling cheek to cheek.
“Gross,” George says, simply and without malice. He steps around you and Lockwood, patting you both on the back sincerely and pulling out pots and pans. It occurs to you a little late that he’s starting on supper. “Took you both a while to actually confess. Mental, the two of you.”
“It was cute,” Lucy says kindly, taking you from Lockwood (he does pout lightly, but she just sticks her tongue out at him) hugging you dear. “George just means that we’re both very happy you two finally got together. He was starting to go bald actually from pulling his hair out too much, look at his hairline—“
“You can’t even pretend like you weren’t too, Lucy.” George sends her a glare as she separates from you. Lockwood quickly fills the space at your side again and all but wraps himself around you. Lucy pats him on the back with a congratulatory smile.
“You can’t go bald before my wedding, George, that’d just ruin it,” you say, clicking your tongue as you reach over (not without struggling over Lockwood) and pat his curls into place. The pot nearly slips out of his hands while Lucy’s eyes grow big as saucers.
“Wedding?!?” They ask simultaneously. Lockwood giggles into your neck, the cheeky bastard.
“This one here,” you gesture at Lockwood with a look, “said we should get married since this whole thing is a publicity stunt or whatnot. Said he might even invite that Kipps bloke he hates.”
“That is the lamest proposal I have ever heard,” Lucy immediately cuts in, the most disappointed scowl pointed at Lockwood’s head.
“I’ve got to agree. You could absolutely do better than that, Lockwood. Also, Quill Kipps? Do you want to have start a fight at your wedding?” George asks, his back turned to everyone. You pull away from Lockwood to pick up the flowers, but not without him frowning as you do. He stops frowning as soon as you smile at him, though, before he turns his attention to Lucy and George when they both pretend to gag.
“I gave them flowers, a really sentimental bunch I think, then I had a good speech,” He says to Lucy first, who raises a brow at him.
He turns to George next. “I need to rub it in his face that he’s probably miserable and forever alone.”
“I thought it was gonna be a publicity stunt, not a revenge plot,” You mutter, clicking your tongue.
“I’m not letting you have a lame wedding, Lockwood, because that means they—“ she points to you “— will have a lame wedding and I will not let that happen.”
“But you’d let me have a lame wedding if it was just mine?” His face is scrunched in offence as he ‘discreetly’ wraps himself around you again.
“Yes,” Lucy and George say simultaneously.
“I’d marry you at a lame wedding.” You play with his hair where you can reach it, pressing a kiss to his forehead where he’s dumped it again on your shoulder. Lucy and George gag, Lockwood beams so bright you’d think he won the lottery that night.
They manage to convince you that it’s too dark out to leave (it was past curfew, the sun had set already) so you spend the night recounting everything you can with them until the stars had gone to sleep and the sun started rising.
The next day, he brings down the bouquet of carnations you’d first given him, and you mix both the bouquets into one. A year later, Portland Row becomes home to not only to the people living in it, but a garden full of flowers blooming with love, laughter, and a lot of hard work. White Jasmine flowers bloom on the veranda and a house of three becomes home to four.
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A/N: Finally finished this series!! Whew, that was… hmm!! And just because I couldn’t add it to the story without it getting clunky, have these idk, headcanons? fun facts?:
Reader tells Lockwood all about the flowers after, and informs him about why the Jasmine flowers were so familiar
The grumpy neighbour reader stole the white jasmine flowers from was actually the old man gardener’s wife
Lockwood goes back to tell the old man, and they have a laugh about the whole thing
It is so hard to get one straight meaning for a flower, but if you dig enough you can find flowers that mean so many cute things:
Red carnations mean deep love and affection
Pink tulips mean caring and affection
White Jasmine flowers can mean many things but for this story I went with: Eternal love, persevering love, and new beginnings
Everyone knows red roses, but I also like to think Lockwood’s bouquet had thornless red roses because they mean love at first sight
Yes he one upped the reader even without knowing what all the flowers mean because he’s a competitive little freak (affectionate) and I love him
This series has been very dear to me, and I am especially thankful to @tangledinlove <3 Thank you for your kind reblogs, I hope you know I read them and always look forward to seeing how you find each part in the series even if I don’t respond to them <33333
Also @milesmorals asked me to tag her too!!
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ghostlystyles · 2 years
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𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐙𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆
anthony lockwood x gn!reader
lockwood is really just a lovesick teenager
request: Could you do a Lockwood X reader where they are getting ready for the gala at Fittes and Lockwood sees reader in the dress for the first time?
tessa’s notes: this was the fic that i didn’t save properly when i was nearly done, but it turned out alright so we vibe
warnings: honestly just pure fluff + lucy and reader are close friends :D, comment if i missed any <3
word count: 0,9k
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—“OKAY, LUCE, WHAT do you think of this?” you asked, turning around to face the girl who was reading a book on her bed. “That definitely looks like you’re going to a funeral,” she replied. You turned back around to look in the mirror and sighed frustratedly, “well, considering what we’re about to do, I might be in a few days. I agree, though, it looked fine in the shop but this is terrible.”
“Well, you have one more, don’t you? Try that on,” Lucy suggested, looking up from her book. “Good call, give me a second,” you spoke, walking back to your wardrobe and pulling out the other dress. It was a red silk dress that reached your ankles and the woman in the shop had specifically told you it would look great on you, so you had high hopes.
You slipped into it and turned around to face Lucy again. “What about this?” you questioned as you twirled around. “Oh my god. You look so good!” Lucy gasped, throwing her book to the side and jumping off the bed. You looked in the mirror and tugged on the dress to get it in place. Lucy was right, you looked undeniably beautiful. “Yeah, this is definitely better than the funeral dress.”
“Can I do your makeup now? Please?” Lucy asked, as she held up her basket of makeup products. “As long as you don’t stab out my eyes or make me look like a total idiot, sure, go ahead,” you replied, sitting down at Lucy’s desk chair and she got to work. She put some eyeliner on you, stuck a line of gems alongside it and finished it off with a bit of highlighter and a tinted lip balm. “There. You look so pretty.”
“Wow, Luce! I’m impressed, thank you!” you exclaimed happily, as you tilted your face to look in the mirror from a different angle. “You’re welcome,” Lucy said in a singsong voice, while you grabbed the stuff you needed to do your hair. “Are you nervous?” asked Lucy. “‘Course I am. We’re stealing this extremely rare book from Fittes’s library, which, knowing us, may very well get us killed, and we’re supposed to act ‘casual’ around the other people, of which I’m sure there are going to be lots. Also, those people are going to treat us as a couple, because why else would two people go to a ridiculously fancy gala together? So yes, I am a tad nervous,” you ranted quickly.
“Yeah, all of those are very valid. But why does it bother you so much that people are gonna treat you like a couple on a date?”
“Well, it’s not a date, is it? Do you know how hard it is to act like and be treated like a couple with someone who you have genuine feelings for but aren’t actually dating?”
“I think you’re allowed to treat it like a date. At least a little bit. He asked you to go with him, no? He could’ve asked me or George, but he asked you.”
“Luce, that was literally a 1 out of 3. I was probably the best option for the occasion or whatever.”
“No, N/N, he already called me an asset and I think he still feels guilty for that. He wouldn’t do something like that again.”
“Okay, fair enough, but still. Just because I could hypothetically treat it like a date, doesn’t mean he is. It’s bloody embarrassing if it’s one-sided.”
“Y/N!” Lockwood called from downstairs, “are you almost done? I’m pretty sure our taxi is gonna be here in a few minutes!”
“Yeah, just a second!” you responded, as you took one final glance at yourself in the mirror. “Do I pass as a posh person who genuinely has business being at the Fittes gala?” you questioned. “Definitely. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were rich and probably a part of Penelope Fittes’s inner circle without a doubt,” Lucy reassured you. “Okay, great. Well, wish me luck, then,” Lucy gave you a quick hug and you then walked downstairs.
Lockwood was waiting for you by the front door and he looked star-struck when you descended the stairs. “Wow, Y/N— you look—”
“Stunning? Gorgeous? Charming?” you joked and Lockwood laughed softly. “Dazzling, honestly,” he finished his sentence, making you feel warm and fuzzy inside. “Why, thank you. You look very pretty yourself,” you replied with a smile. “I really wish I could kiss you right now,” Lockwood whispered. Your stomach flipped upside down and you did a double take. “Did you just say what I think you said?” you questioned with your eyes wide open, “because if you did, I really wish the same.”
Lockwood wasted no more time and he grabbed your face between his hands, pulling you close. He placed his lips onto yours into a soft kiss which made your insides completely melt. You pulled apart far too quickly for your liking and you both broke out into a huge grin. “Hey, that’s half your worries gone! Now all you have to do is steal the book, it’s gonna be a breeze!” Lucy yelled from halfway up the stairs. “Okay, Luce, that is enough stalker behaviour for today. We’re leaving,” Lockwood deadpanned, as he entwined his fingers with yours and dashed out the door. “Good luck, lovebirds!” you heard Lucy laugh before pulling the front door shut.
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shredsandpatches · 9 months
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So this afternoon while I was waiting for some files to transfer I read the Google Books preview of Magus by Anthony Grafton, a new book (it seems sort of scholarly/popular crossover) on the cultural significance of the magician in Renaissance Europe, and of course, as one might expect, the intro chapter focuses on the Faust legend as a case study. It looks like a pretty good book but I mostly wanted to share this anecdote related in it, which I hadn't seen before (the footnotes, alas, were cut off, so I'm not sure of the source; it's not in the English Faustbuch which iirc is a pretty direct translation of Spiers 1587) but is instantly one of my favorites:
Once, at a gathering of scholars, Faust offered to conjure up a bunch of lost classical plays, so that the scholars might copy them down. The scholars were, of course, tempted--who wouldn't want to recover lost knowledge? But then they concluded that, while the plays were in whatever sort of textual afterlife lost classical plays go to, demons could have tampered with them, and who knows what kind of ungodly things they could have put in there? And so, displaying a truly frightening amount of willpower, they respectfully declined.
I love that so much: the focus on lost classical knowledge as a site of temptation, the idea of dramatic/literary texts as something that can be summoned, the idea that surviving texts by classical pagans are totally fine but lost ones are vulnerable to demonic tampering--I also love versions of Faust who are (or at least were at one point) actually serious about scholarship on some level. I think Marlowe (a Cambridge man) was the first to really get into that idea, of Faustus as a legitimate but discontented academic, and I think he would have liked that story. He did make his Faustus ask:
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When I was doing my first Master's degree I studied Doctor Faustus with the late, great Renaissance drama scholar David Bevington, at a point in my life where I was trying to treat serious undiagnosed depression with observant Catholicism, and his empathetic treatment of the play has always stayed with me. He asked us: can any of us say we wouldn't be at least a little tempted? And I've always remembered that.
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eleanor-bradstreet · 4 months
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Thoughts on Bridgerton season 3
No one asked, but putting it out there. (Written after viewing part 1.)
The Good
Polin - it’s their season after all. There is plenty of them and a lot of scenes pulled right from the book. I don’t think Colin/Newts is all that charismatic or great at acting tbh, but Pen/Nic is carrying the season. Seeing through her eyes, there is a compelling story of self-acceptance, struggle and romance. I was whooping whenever she got steamy with her man.
Debling - wonderfully acted and such an interesting addition to the ton, I love this character. He is so kind and honest, he deserves the world.
Francesca & John - Hannah Dodd is doing a wonderful job. We get to see the one and only shy Bridgerton, which is novel. Her odd chemistry with John is magical and I am already fucked up about them. I’m more invested in them than Polin 😅
Eloise - we are seeing more facets of Eloise which is wonderful. That she is willing to look deeper at peoples’ true character - including Cressida and Pen, though the reconciliation with Pen isn’t finalized yet. Cressida also makes Eloise check herself, her assumptions and privileges which is crucial for her development. She’s growing this season.
The Cowpers - redemption arc for Cressida incoming! We are learning that her bitchiness stems from a competitive nature, which she feels she must have to secure a good match thanks to pressures from her awful parents. This is interesting in its own right but please please please have Sophie also being mistreated in their household. That would be the bow on top.
Marcus Anderson - hello handsome! He is wonderfully acted and immediately has a warm spark with Violet. The mystery is built as to why Lady D is so aggravated by him. What has he done in the past that makes her wary of him?
The music - great instrumental covers of on-point pop songs and revisiting a few tried and true Bridgerton original themes.
The Bad
Kanthony - But only for part 1. I'm guessing they had to work around JB's busy shooting schedule, but it sucks they found a lame way to essentially write them out of episodes 2-4. I'm happy to see from the trailer there will be more of them in part 2.
Benedict - for fucks sake, he does nothing. Season 2 might as well not have happened. Not only is he not sad nor frustrated with Anthony about art school, he has no introspection or personal development in part 1. He’s just shoved in the background again, making sassy little comments and fucking a random lady. Where is this ‘crucial role’ the showrunner mentioned? What ‘comes to a head’ for him as Luke keeps alluding to? All of his material must happen in part 2 because there is nothing in part 1.
The fucking Featheringtons - I know the entail is a plot line set up by season 2, but getting into microscopic detail about the sex lives of the elder two Featherington sisters is not the comic relief the show thinks it is. It actually makes me nauseous. The whole ‘race to produce an heir’ could have been a single line explanation from Portia and screen time with the Featherington couples could have been spent on more Benedict.
The sex - part 2 better be mind blowing because Nicola’s claim that Polin has ‘won the steamy battle’ is unfounded based on the first four episodes. Okay we’ve got Anthony and Benedict each with a scene between the sheets kissing ladies but not a single Bridgerbum to be seen. The claims of ‘threesomes’ and ‘lesbian sex’ are extremely generous. It’s 5 seconds of Colin kissing sex workers and them peformatively kissing each other. I know we have the mirror scene coming in part 2 which threatens to blow the roof off anything Saphne and Kanthony did but thus far, I am unimpressed. It feels more buttoned up than ever.
Now, I have also watched part 2 in its entirety. Without spoiling any details, see below the cut for a general note.
Part 2 contains some MAJOR twists that I feel are going to fracture the fandom. Brace yourselves.
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sagesolsticewrites · 6 months
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i thought we had no chance (and that’s romance)
You resolve to tell Anthony about your feelings— with surprising results. (Part Two to Better Kind of Best Friend)
a/n: huge shoutout to Winnie for once again coming through with an absolutely incredible playlist!!! ily bestie 🥹
Warnings: mature content (oral (f receiving), PinV penetration, literally the softest smut y’all have ever read in your LIFE), swearing
Word count: 3.3k (omg she’s a long one)
Read Part 1 here!
Masterlist
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It was finally time.
Anto had finally gotten a break from all the press, and he was coming home for a well-deserved vacation before his next project.
You had been mulling it over ever since his last… ahem, visit, and you decided that you had to tell him how you felt. It had started to hurt too much every time he left in the middle of the night, every time he unceremoniously dropped by for a quick fuck and a brief hangout before he was gone once again.
A few days after you’d resolved to tell him, the two of you had made hasty arrangements to see each other— the “hasty arrangements” being a quick series of texts sent in the middle of the night when you were feeling particularly hot and bothered, resulting in an agreement that he’d show up the next evening.
The next day, you’d spend hours mulling over what you’d say, how you’d broach the subject with him, planning for every possible rejection— not daring to let yourself even think about the possibility that he might feel the same. And that evening, there would be a knock on your door.
You jump at the rap of knuckles on wood, adjusting your cropped shirt and sleep short set and taking a deep breath before answering.
“Hey—”
The cheerful greeting dies on your lips as you take in the new addition to Anto’s appearance.
A thick, neatly trimmed beard stretches over his cheeks and chin, making his bright smile somehow appear whiter as he grins at you.
“Hey, Y/N,” he says, a cheeky glint in his eye that tells you he knows exactly what you’re thinking, “So… whaddaya think?”
You step aside to let him in, still speechless. It looks fucking incredible on him, of course it does, and you can’t help but wonder what it would feel like on the sensitive skin of your neck, if it would scrape deliciously between your thighs, if it— No, you mentally scold yourself, bad Y/N. Not thinking about that right now.
“It, uh…” you swallow, your mouth suddenly dry, “You look really good, Anto.”
“Thanks, I knew you’d think so,” he grins, eyes sparkling. His hand moves towards your waist and you force yourself to step out of his reach, trying very, very hard to ignore the brief flash of hurt in his eyes.
“Actually, uh… I was hoping we could talk about something?”
“Oh, I— yeah, of course,” he says, that familiar furrow of concern appearing between his brows as you move to the couch.
“So…” you begin uncertainly; despite the hours you’d spent practicing, you were still unsure of how to start this conversation, “You know how when we started… this,” you gesture between the two of you, “neither of us was really looking for a relationship? And we agreed that it would be a good arrangement, no feelings, no messy emotions, just… stress relief, for lack of a better term.”
You wait until he nods to confirm he’s listening to continue, “And remember how… we’d been friends for so long, we were sure neither one of us would ever want more…”
He nods again slowly, as if he sees where you’re going with this but wants to wait until you confirm it.
“Well— I, um…” You take a deep breath, determinedly avoiding his gaze as you steel yourself, “I guess my heart didn’t really get the memo because, uh… I’ve been seriously falling for you for a while now.”
You clamp down on your bottom lip as your whole body tenses, bracing yourself for the end of one of the longest and best friendships you’d ever had.
“Y/N…” He breathes, his fingertips grazing yours, “I— please tell me you mean that. Please tell me it hasn’t just been me.”
Wait, what?
Your head snaps up, your bewildered eyes meeting his own tender gaze.
“Anto, what do you—”
“I’ve been head over fucking heels for you, Y/N,” he says softly, thumb stroking over the back of your hand, “for… frankly, longer than I care to admit.”
“Wait, I—” your brain scrambles to process his confession, your heart melting as you realize he truly does feel the same, “You mean all this time we could’ve been—”
You’re not sure when you moved so close to Anto, but now there’s barely an inch of space between the two of you as your clasped hands rest on your legs.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, Y/N,” he says softly, tender brown eyes locked on your features, “but you seemed happy with what we had, and I didn’t want to put our friendship at risk—”
“I felt exactly the same,” you say, voices overlapping, “I hated the thought of ruining what we had.”
“Seems like if we had just talked about this a little sooner we could’ve been enjoying more than our current arrangement,” Anto says with a soft smile.
Your heart melts at the overflowing love in his expression as his hand comes up to cup your cheek— how had you not seen it before?
“Maybe we could start by making up for lost time,” you say softly, your eyes flicking down to his plush lips.
With a slight nod, Anto slowly leans in, pausing to meet your eyes as your noses brush as if to make doubly sure that this is really what you want before carefully slotting his lips to yours.
His lips are exactly as soft against yours as you’d imagined them to be, and you can’t help but let out a contented little sigh as your hands come up to cup his face.
What you aren’t prepared for, however, is the slight tickling sensation that accompanies his beard, and you pull away with a soft squeal, face slightly scrunched up.
The concern on his face is immediate.
“No, no, I just—” you scramble to assure him through your smile before Anto can say anything, your thumbs stroking through the surprisingly soft hair covering his cheeks, “It tickles.”
He huffs out a soft laugh, pulling away teasingly, “You know, I don’t have to—”
“Excuse me,” you grin, raising an eyebrow, “When did I say I wanted you to stop?”
His lips land back on yours with a laugh, your heart turning impossibly light as you feel him smiling into the kiss. Anto’s arm — the one with the hand not tenderly cupping your cheek as if you were made of porcelain — winds around your back, pulling you closer as one of your hands finds its way into his hair.
You’re truly not sure how long you stay like that — could be minutes, could be hours — but at some point you end up straddling him, hands buried in his luscious hair as his arms squeeze you tight against him, hands roaming all over your body.
You don’t even realize you’ve begun to slowly rock against him until his breath hitches and he pulls away.
You freeze, terrified you’ve done something wrong.
“What, what is it?”
“Nothing, darling, nothing,” he assures you, and you melt at the pet name as he continues, “I just… If you want to… If we’re gonna do this— not that we have to, of course, but if we are, I… I wanna do it properly. Not on your couch, as delightful as that may be,” he finishes with a soft smile, searching your gaze intently.
You smile, toying with the curls at the nape of his neck, your nose brushing his as you whisper “I do want to.”
Reluctantly, you extricate yourself from his embrace, leaning to press one more tender kiss to his lips as he stands before guiding him to your bedroom.
You turn to him as he enters, a sudden nervousness overwhelming you as it hits you that this is really happening.
The pure love and adoration shining on his face as you face him, however, banishes any trace of anxiety. You melt into his touch as he cups your face, his thumb stroking tenderly along your cheek.
“I fucking adore you,” he breathes.
And then his mouth is on yours, and your mind is empty of everything but him.
His free hand slides down to rest on your hip, using the slightest pressure to pull you flush against him. The kiss deepens, and your hands slip under his shirt, trailing across his warm skin, playing a sort of blind connect-the-dots with the freckles dotted haphazardly along his back.
Smiling against your lips, Anto takes the hint, breaking the kiss just long enough for you to remove his shirt, your hands roaming gently over the newly-exposed skin as your lips reconnect.
You barely stifle a gasp as his fingertips leave your cheek to trail along the exposed skin between your shirt and shorts to grasp the hem of your crop top.
He pulls away briefly, a question in his eyes that he doesn’t even need to ask out loud before you’re nodding, a breathy yes leaving your lips.
Your shirt joins his on your bedroom floor, and he takes a moment to take in your figure, eyes dragging over you appreciatively.
“You,” he says softly, sincerely, as he leans in to reconnect your lips once more, “are absolutely beautiful, darling.”
He slowly walks you backwards as the kiss deepens, tongues dancing. He gently lays you down when the backs of your knees hit the bed, keeping your lips connected as he moves to hover over you.
He pulls away, just enough to take in your features with what looks like awe shining in his eyes.
“Hi,” you say softly— as if speaking too loudly will ruin the magic of this moment you’ve waited so long for.
He grins.
“Hi.”
And then his lips are back on yours for a tender, heated kiss before making a slow path across your cheek, down your jaw, to your neck.
You let out a sound that’s something between a sigh and a whine, relishing in the feeling of his lips on your skin but the slow pace driving you positively mad.
He chuckles against the sensitive spot just below your ear, making you gasp.
“Sweetheart, let me enjoy this— I didn’t get to appreciate it properly before,” he murmurs, “I promise I’ll give you what you want, just be patient.”
You’ve barely nodded your consent before his mouth is on you once more, kissing and sucking and grazing his teeth all along your skin, the beard adding a layer of sensation that has goosebumps rippling up along your arms. Your hand finds its way up to grip his thick waves, throwing your head back to expose more skin for him to mark up, letting out a moan as his lips track over as much of you as he can reach.
“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so…” he murmurs, moving to nibble along your collarbone, then further south still to kiss along the tops of your breasts, “soft.”
You can only sigh his name as he mouths along your breasts, gently capturing your nipple as he swirls his tongue around you. You let out a soft cry, arching into him as he pulls away to repeat the gentle motion on your other breast, drawing out more soft sighs and gasps from you.
Your fingers rake through his hair as he pulls away to mouth down the valley between your breasts, marveling at the view before you. Sure, you’d done this plenty of times before, but it was never this… gentle, this intimate.
Anto looks up to meet your eyes as his lips continue their path down your body, the heat in them still present but softer, somehow. Like a warm hearth on a cold winter night compared to the blazing wildfire of lust you were used to.
“You’re so pretty,” you murmur as you push back a strand of hair from his forehead, so soft you’re not sure if you even mean for him to hear it.
He does, though, and you can feel him smiling as he kisses his way down your stomach.
“So are you, my love.”
The words send butterflies flurrying throughout your stomach, the feeling of which only intensifies as he presses gentle kisses along the skin just above the waistband of your shorts.
“Anto…” His name leaves your mouth in a pleading sigh, and he hums his acknowledgment as his fingers glide up to toy with your waistband. 
“Can I, sweetheart?” He murmurs against your skin, and you nod furiously, certain that if you hear one more sweet pet name come out of his mouth you’re going to die on the spot.
You lift your hips as he eases your shorts off of you, a groan leaving him at the sight of the lacy underwear covering your core.
“Never got to tell you this before the way I wanted to, but you are so,” he mumbles, brushing a quick kiss to your core over the increasingly damp fabric covering it, “so beautiful, honey.”
He slowly removes your underwear, adding them to the growing pile of clothes before brushing gentle kisses up your thighs.
Well, you were right.
The beard did feel utterly perfect on your thighs.
You sigh his name desperately, tugging gently at his hair. “Want your mouth on me, please, baby.”
His pretty brown eyes, pupils blown wide, meet yours as, with one final kiss to the soft flesh of your thigh, he lowers his mouth to you, licking deep into your folds.
You cry out his name, fumbling praises tumbling from your lips as he finds each and every spot to make you moan, his thumb moving up to gently circle your clit.
Your whines reach a fever pitch, and Anto murmurs sweetly against you as he recognizes the signs of you reaching the edge.
“C’mon, honey, please, wanna taste you. Lemme make my girl feel good, please cum for me sweetheart, please—”
Your world goes white, and when you come back to yourself, you feel Anto pressing gentle kisses to your thighs, mumbling sweet nothings against your skin.
You reach down to stroke through his hair as he meets your eyes with a smile.
“You alright, sweetheart?”
“I’m perfect,” you sigh.
“Good,” he murmurs, moving to hover over you once more, brushing gentle kisses all over your skin as he goes, “because I really, really need to be inside you.”
You just barely stifle a moan as you feel the telltale bulge brushing against your thigh.
With one final kiss to your lips, he shifts off of you to shed his pants and boxers, retrieving another familiar foil packet from his pocket.
“Came prepared,” he quips with a wink, making you giggle.
You sit up, gesturing for him to hand it to you.
He hesitates for a moment.
“Y/N, I don’t… I want this to be different than the other times, sweet girl. You don’t have to—”
You promptly silence him with a kiss, plucking the foil from his hand.
“I want to,” you assure him as you pull away, gently rolling the latex onto him, your fingers brushing against him in a way that has his eyes fluttering shut.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he hisses, moving to hover over you once more as you lay down, his nose brushing yours, “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
You merely pull him down into another kiss, smiling against his lips.
Anthony keeps his lips connected to yours, deepening the kiss as he slowly drags his length through your slick folds, your breath hitching as the tip of his cock snags against your entrance.
He pulls away briefly to scan your face.
“You ready, darling?”
“Yes,” you say softly, thumb stroking gently over his beard.
Soft brown eyes remain locked on yours as he slowly pushes into you, noses brushing, breaths mingling.
Anto pauses once he’s fully entered you, panting. “God, you feel… fucking perfect, sweetheart.”
You can only whine, murmuring vague praise in response.
After a moment, he slowly pulls out and thrusts back into you, beginning the gentle push and pull towards ecstasy.
Your breaths become heavier, Anto panting sweet praises with his breath hot against your cheek until his mouth crashes once more onto yours.
Your lips remain locked in a tender kiss as Anto continues his slow thrusts into you— he said he wanted it to be different than the other times and it is. 
There’s no lips mouthing roughly at your skin, no teeth scraping against your collarbone, no fast, sweaty thrusts designed to get you both off as fast as possible. This is… tender, this is intimate, this is everything you’d been wanting since you first realized you had feelings for him.
It’s… perfect.
“I love you, darling,” Anto sighs against your lips, every inch of his warm body pressed against yours, “I love you so, so much, Y/N.”
Your breath catches, overcome with emotion for a moment before you reply softly, earnestly, “I love you too, Anto. God, I’ve wanted to say that for so long, I love you, I love you, I love you…”
Your voice trails off as he captures your lips once more in a tender kiss, and…
Now. Now it was perfect.
“Anto…” you sigh into his mouth, a warning as you feel a familiar tension building within you.
“I know, sweetheart, I know,” he pants in a strangled voice, “Me too, ‘m almost there.”
His thrusts speed up the tiniest bit, your toes curling as he hits your G-spot repeatedly.
“Ant—” you gasp, your grip on him tightening as you feel yourself about to tip over the edge, “oh, fuck, Anto, ‘m gonna—”
“Come for me, sweetheart,” he pants softly in your ear, “Wanna feel you come on my cock, angel, please, ‘m right behind you—”
You shatter as your second orgasm crashes over you, tucking your face into Anthony’s neck to muffle your cries. Several erratic thrusts later, he follows suit, spilling into the condom with a cry as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, lips brushing tenderly against your skin.
He slumps against you, both of you attempting to catch your breath as he gently pulls out of you with a sweet kiss to your nose.
“Was that—” he asks softly, still gasping slightly for air, “Was that okay?”
You hum softly, eyes tracing over each one of his beautiful features.
“It was perfect, Anto. Absolutely perfect.”
“I’m glad, my love,” He grins, dipping to capture your lips in a tender kiss before standing and discreetly disposing of the condom in your en-suite.
You make grabby hands for him as he returns, and he gladly climbs back into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.
He presses his lips to your temple, fingers tracing gentle patterns over your exposed skin.
“I meant what I said, you know. I really do—” His breath catches as you look up at him, eyes wide and soft. “I love you. So, so much Y/N. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”
“I love you too, Anthony,” you murmur, a rare use of his full name slipping out, usually reserved for important moments, or when you’re mad at him. Right now, it’s the former. You want to say something else, but your eyes are growing heavier by the minute, so you settle for brushing your lips tenderly against his cheek as sleep overtakes you.
Just before you fully lose consciousness, you feel him press his lips firmly to your temple, smiling against your skin, and you can’t help but smile as you fall contently into sleep.
You spend the night sound asleep in Anthony’s arms, secure in the knowledge that he’ll still be there when you wake.
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newtonsheffield · 10 months
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Oh, but now I am curious. What would that Paris date look like? How much will Anthony try to make up for the bad first impression? And how will he convince Kate to continue seeing him after they return to London?
Oh Anthony is finding a nice restaurant. He bitched out a very hot woman who turned out to be smart and funny and basically just… fucking great so the least he can do is buy her dinner.
It’s the first thing he does when he gets to his hotel.
“I um… I need to get a reservation for tomorrow night.” Anthony said, “Would you be able to help me with that?”
The desk clerk nodded, “Do you have somewhere in mind sir?”
“I just… look I met a woman on the train and I was very rude and by some absolute miracle this woman has agreed to see me for dinner tomorrow night so I need a nice restaurant. Just um… if it could be for quite early that would be good.”
“I know just the place.”
Anthony was nervous, loitering on the curb outside Kate’s hotel, half convinced she wasn’t coming out at all, but she did. Somehow even more beautiful than he remembered her looking, she walked out to the curb and smiled and his heart felt as though it were going to pound out of his chest.
“Hi, you look great. Beautiful. You’re very… you look nice.”
“I’m wearing my work clothes.”
“Well that doesn’t make what I said any less true.”
“Have you, Anthony in Paris, channeled your favourite TV Character and found us somewhere to eat?”
“I have.” Anthony nodded, gesturing down the street, “My idol Emily walks around Paris so I thought we’d do the same.”
Kate nodded, her arm brushing against his hand as she followed him, “What’s Emily’s last name?”
Anthony narrowed his eyes, “It’s…”
“Don’t say in Paris.”
“ Caught me.”
It was easier than he thought, sitting down to dinner with her in the quiet restaurant, even if it was a little too intimate for a first… this might actually not even be a date. Anthony realised sat in the darkened room. It was easy, talking to Kate. Just like it had been on the train last night. She told him about her family, her mother and sister and the little dog she missed, and where her favourite bakery in London was. She teased him when he accidentally told her he’d gone to Eton but there wasn’t any malice in it, it was almost affectionate.
“When we get back to London will you play me a little tune on the trumpet? Try and woo me?”
Anthony’s quirked his eyebrow, “Are we going to see each other when we get home?”
Her lips quirked up in a smirk, “I think so. If you want to.”
“Will I get to meet the famous Newton?”
“You might get to meet the famous Newton if you end up back at mine.”
Anthony felt his stomach drop, “How do I…? Will playing the trumpet help or hinder that?”
She chuckled, “How good are you at it?”
“Well I haven’t played it since I was 12.”
“How old are you now?”
“30. How… old are you?”
“Oh, I’m eighteen.”
Anthony narrowed his eyes, “You just… love trying to make me uncomfortable don’t you?”
“I’m 27.” Kate grinned, tilting her chin, “And your ears go very red. It’s kind of cute.”
“Cute enough to see me when we get home?”
“I think so.” Kate clicked her tongue after a moment, “Can you do me a favour though?”
“Sure.”
“I want to give my sister a little stroke, can we go up the Eiffel Tower tonight and pretend to propose to me?”
“I… what the hell, sure. Only if I can also use it to scare my brother.”
“Deal.”
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i-miss-summertime · 26 days
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THE ianthony song for me rn is Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish, from Anthony's POV (this one is gonna be a little more on vibes since the song lyrics are admittedly a bit simple)
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ill be real, this one is purely vibes considering the lyrics of the first verse are pretty vague but still feels like it fits into our gloomy boy's style of how he thinks of love. A serial monogamist, he self admits to falling hard and fast for people. These morbid, grand statements of love feel really in line with Anthony (iykyk, watch his insta stories if you dont).
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The line that really sticks out to me is the "I know I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone" like reflecting back on the days that Anthony felt like he was taking on more of the work of Smosh and his eventual need to go independent.
Also the "might not be forever/But if it's forever, it's even better" is so "if we burn this to the ground, im happy to do that with you"-core. Like no one knows what the future will bring, no one can guarantee what's going to happen but they want to continue Smosh and be friends for the long haul.
Lastly, I just feel like even the term "Birds of a feather" really apply to them. So many commenters, even people who got into Smosh post-Anthony leaving, were commenting how Anthony's the other half of Ian's weird humor. Amanda said, in their "We React to Your Compilations" video when watching the I&A compilation, "they are the same." It was just a short throwaway line but it feels like even people around them feel like they're two of a kind.
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This pre-chorus is actually so Anthony. He's so transparent with his fondness for his friend. That's his BEST FRIEND who he's known since he was a little kid.
Plus, I love Anthony and jokes about his emotional, crying content aside, he's so emotive and sensitive. Not in a negative way like sensitive can sometimes mean, but just wears his heart on his sleeve more than many men (him crying during his ISADW with Ian, tearing up during the Reading the Angry Letter video, even crying during that one reddit story about two best friends falling for each other). He just seems like the type to cry from how much he loves someone.
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now THIS is the verse that makes me clock it as Anthony thinking of Ian. In this era, he's hyping Ian up so much and a compliment machine in contrast. We know Ian doesn't give himself enough credit as said by Anthony and Shayne on Smosh Mouth and with his history of downplaying his work, I could definitely see an interaction of his friends being frustrated on Ian's behalf of not being able to accept compliments.
Like literally, can you not see him responding to a compliment with insistence that it's just a "bit" as resident of Bit City lol. I also love the "don't be stupid" line like as much as Anthony is so fond of Ian, what would their relationship be without a bit of heckling in a loving way.
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Finally, the post chorus gets me so much fr.
In a metaphorical sense, they've talked about how they've had to let go off who they saw the other as, let go of their past friendship to meet each other again.
Yes, they're different people now and this in many cases mean they aren't compatible to the point of being able to just be best friends again. This is where the metaphor of knowing someone from another live KILLS me. Yes, they look different and act different but you still know them where it matters. You can love them for who they are at their core and learn to love the new pieces of them as they evolve. Even if they're different in so many ways to old Ian and Anthony, "you had that same look in your eyes" that brings them back to that bond
"I love you, don't act so surprised"
Look, I know I just rambled about how this song is so from Anthony's perspective but can you not imagine Ian saying this after the funeral roast. He said I love you and everyone, including Anthony was so shook. I think they both knew that Ian loved Anthony, it was just never said, verbally. Kinda teasing but still endearing, the line reads as "I'll tell you because you love the verbal validation but you already know <3"
I just love how you can easily interpret this song as platonic and it's still so sweet and describing this deep love. I just can't help but think of them when I hear it <333
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