#making decisions is the bane of my existence lol

[juniperhillpatient]

the bestie ashley graves

Headcanon A:  realistic

Ashley is a weird girl in middle school. She is the girl that terrifies her classmates playing vampire. She is the girl that puts worms on the other girls plates at lunch. She is the girl making weird noises in the back of the class. She is the bane of the teachers existence & that kid even the “nice” kids feel okay being mean about.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Ashley & Julia were each other’s first kiss on a dare at a party Ashley somehow strong armed her way into.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Well the tricky thing about TCOAAL is that it’s a game where your decisions impact the story & it’s not complete. This type of media is something I’m a bit unfamiliar with outside tcoaal itself & choose your own adventure books as a kid.

My answer for the sake of this ask game is that as much as I love the idea of an optimistic ending on like a parasocial level…I think Andrew is destined to kill Ashley. I think that’s the tragic outcome that compels me most & that feels most… well narratively fitting I suppose??

This is less a head canon & more a theory but what if even in the romance route Andrew kills Ashley in the end? What if no matter what they end up in a coffin together both dead? What if there is no other ending even if the story leading up to it changes? To me that’s so compelling.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

I love tcoaal canon so much I just… I don’t know lol

Um ok the Graves siblings fooled around as “practice” as teenagers. Because that’s a little funny to me idk

[lanawinterscigarettes]

“When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers.” No pressure to answer this though!

i forgot to respond to this i'm so sorry-

ummm let's see

this may sound kind of weird, but i really like how pretty my fingernails are, if that makes sense?? like, they grow really fast and are always really healthy, and they look nice even without polish, which is why i don't wear it that often

my hair! it's both the bane of my existence as well as my reason for living. i personally believe it to be one of my best features, which is why i get very frustrated when it doesn't do what i want it to do lol

i really like how well i'm able to draw cartoon characters from pretty much any (2D) animation style. usually i need some sort of picture in front of me for reference, but other than that i can draw little doodles of people from memory. over the years i was even able to develope my own style, which i just know would make a younger me so proud 🥲

not to sound arrogant, but I'm quite proud of my intelligence, at least when it comes to certain aspects. for example, because i'm so good at writing in general whenever i had to do essays for school i was able to bullcrap my way through by doing them last minute and still get an A or B

even though my very strong sense of empathy isn't to everyone's liking i'm actually kind of glad i have it. it definitely makes things a hell of a lot more frustrating when other people can't at least try to see things from the other side, but i think it's important that i'm able to look at things from several different angles before making my own decision on stuff

[survivor-marieta-islands]

Episode 8: "this blonde bimbo barbie is about to go home!!"—Maddison

Trinica

AJ's idol: flushed Tanner: gone Me: a snake

AJ

I used my idol :c. Sad. Didn’t find it today either. And so my hunt begins. I doubt I’ll find it again but one can hope. I have a suspicion that Trinica has an idol but I can’t be sure. She says she doesn’t and that she’d tell me if she had one but I just do not know if I can trust that. Anyway I was violently ill last night so it is what it is.

In other news this challenge looks like the bane of my existence. I really really hope I can find some good loteria because it is not looking good for me if we lose.

Hairie

Final 14

Title: "Word fucked"

After a round of many VICTORIOUS VICTORY VAGANZA, Sin Sazonar has suffered another lost pre-merge. It was anticipated for sure. With 5 people there was little room to hide. Thankfully I had good working relationships with Trinica and Clefford (3 person chat created by Clefford). It was tough because there was 2 options either voting Tanner to keep the tribe strength for challenges and remove someone that is 100% loyal to us (well me at least) or voting AJ out and risk potentially losing the next challenge (which what could be the last tribe challenge before merge, OR SO WE THOUGHT) but having a threat at merge phase.

Discussions with Trinica and Clefford were definitely had and we went back and forth. ALWAYS MAKE A FAILSAFE PLAN which in this scenario was to ensure that neither of us got votes in case of any advantage(s). Since Tanner has been bringing up AJ's name, making sure that's what Tanner did getting AJ to vote for Tanner. I stand by my decision that Tanner does not deserve a 4-1 vote so I placed my vote on AJ. LITTLE DID WE KNOW AJ PLAYED AN IDOL (Gooped).

Amy

what the fuck

Arvin

Oh wow. A surprise merge! What a twist.

Brandi

I MADE IT TO MERGE THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clefford

Hey there, I'm back! So, a lot happened.

On New Sin Sazanor, Hairie, Trinica, and I lost the Chain Reaction challenge so we went to tribal council. Hairie wanted to vote out AJ, because coming to merge she would be unpredictable. I decided Tanner, because we needed AJ for the following challenge, so Tanner's gone with AJ wasting an idol for herself.

The four of us worked together for the True Cost challenge, because we don't want to comeback to tribal. Surprisingly, we merged and I won the challenge together with Raffy and Adeline and are safe from the upcoming tribal.

I told everyone in my OG Sin Sazonar that we should stick together for atleast 1 or 2 more tribals against OG Antigua. They all agreed, so I created the Do Not SS alliance consisting of Adeline, AJ, Arvin, Brandi, Hairie, Trinica, and I.

I also had game talks with Amy and Raffy. Both hosted my first season here on Stings, Raccoon City. I'm trying to get to work with them in the future. Hopefully. Jinx and I are talking and clearing the air between us. I'm honestly most scared of them. When I saw the cast reveal, they were the first person that caught my attention. I even said to myself that I'm doomed.

On the good side, I am happy that Jay approved my suggestion for our merge tribe name, Sin Tiempo, meaning Timeless.

Raffy

Firstly, Clefford is so bad at being fake lol. Tell me why he promised a Final 2 with Amy and with me separately saying how we should work together and protect him. And in the same breath was like "I don't talk game with anyone except you and Amy." Then what about all of pre-merge??? You worked with no one???? Such an obvious lie and for what. Not to mention Trinica telling me that Clefford starting a new School alliance? Fuck outta here man. He's a snake in the grass that can't even slither right. I definitely want to get him gone as soon as I am able to.

Trinica and I had a lovely call. I explained everything on my side and Trinica explained how she doesn't trust Clefford and is tired of juggling between Hairie and AJ. We agreed to work together and wanted to start taking out the people who are just numbers for Clefford. Trinica thinks AJ is close to Clefford so we wanna vote AJ. But apparently Hairie and AJ made up for whatever reason and they wanna stick "tribe strong" (whatever the fuck that means). I also offered up Arvin and Maddison since Arvin is just a number for Hairie and Maddison is just a number for Zo (two people we also wanna start restricting power from). I just do not want Clefford to have control of these people's brains. They have to know that he will cut them at a moment's notice for any reason

Amy

Well anyway I made merge and jury which was my goal hahaha so I won’t be surprised if I’m the vote here. I wish that we had one more swap vote to even out numbers tbh. Someone should play an idol for me.

Hairie

Final 13

Title: Shop till you drop

Jay was so real for that twist and made it an individual challenge instead of a tribe challenge. Skip to results, we merged and 3 people won individual immunity. I'm so mad I shared some cheaper cost items because I was under the impression that we needed to, I REPEAT ... WE NEEDED TO WIN AS A TRIBE because going to tribal with 4 of us was going TO PROBABLY BE THE TRIBAL OF ALL TIMES.

Title: Mergatory or Mergeddon

Shit I'm going to do bullet points here

- 6 old schoolers, 7 new schoolers. - 13 people, 3 immune. - Both idols on both camps are not found (at the time). - Tres Leches Cake is potentially an extra vote if you can find a pen or ink to write it on. - The market changes its product?????. - Jinx mentioned targeting Clefford. - Hairie mentioned targeting AJ. - Raffy and Adeline has beef. - Clefford has been going around making F2/3 deals with several people, one being Raffy which Trinica told me and I heard it from AJ as well but then Raffy declared to me. - OG Tribe chats were created. - Arvin told Clefford about Jinx targeting them, but Trinica ASSUMES it was me LMAO. - 4 person chat of myself Brandi Raffy and Trinica was created. - Me and AJ made up and called it a truce. I do believe her here and IF SHE SCREWS THIS UP, I'm going to be so mad AJ (YES I BOLD IT SO WHEN SHE READS IT SHE KNOWS HOW I FEEL POST GAME). - Trinica said Raffy and old schoolers want AJ gone but I do not want that. I need AJ around as a shield because if AJ goes, I'm probably next. So we need to work together. I told AJ her name was going around and not to mention it to anyone. Did she do that? Nope, as soon as she have conversations with people, it gets leaked what she says. Raffy told me Trinica and Brandi this. AJ WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? I TOLD YOU TO LAY LOW. If this goes wrong, you went home because you can't keep a tight lip. - I told Brandi Raffy Trinica that I would prefer if AJ stays for a few more rounds, and that we should take out some one else. The name was Maddison. - In hopes of wanting to work with Colin, I learnt it the HARD WAY THAT COLIN IS A RAT - Told by many others. I should have listened. So what had happened here was that I told Colin that I heard Maddison's name > who then WENT RUNNING to the old school's chat and said I am leaking information. UHM HELLO ?! The one time I decide to be honest and show some trust to new people I'm meeting, they did that. - Adeline then told me that Colin told Adeline. Surprise surprise Colin, I'm not the only leak here. - At least from that, I learn I cannot trust Colin this game. - Perhaps because of this I may get voted out, perhaps not. We shall see. I'll be upset if I go but whatever.

Others:

Clefford opened up more about how he got into Stings and what happened during his first season.

Zo is just a fucking epic human being and so fun to talk to. The boat story LEGEND.

Trinica has an idol, worked with me to get this.

Raffy has shown interest in working together.

AJ and me have made up and at the moment, we have called it truce till we get to single digits.

Amy has the coolest job ever.

Brandi is someone I hope I have placed right trust with. She's trustworthy and I hope she feels good to share more with me than to Raffy and Trinica.

Jinx is vibing. I do see they're communicating more to me this round.

Adeline I appreciate as she's been honest enough (or at the right time) to tell me things. However, I do not know where we stand long term.

Maddison - Not applicable

Colin - Great vibes until I gave him cheese (literally a picture of French fries drenched in cheese)

Arvin is as loyal and purest cast we have here. Loyal to a fault.

Hairie - That's me. Still unhinged.

Until next time ~

Raffy

I did want an AJ vote, but it seems like the people we would need (namely Hairie) do not want to get rid of her just yet. I will deal with it. Instead, I want a Maddison vote, but Colin said he doesn't want to vote out Maddison. It's tough because when you force Colin to do something he does not want to do then they will turn on you. Somehow I have to either placate or convince him. I think placating by having him choose someone to vote out next would be best, but that wouldn't really work for my game since I know they'll pick someone I plan on working with (namely Brandi). Honestly, maybe working with Colin is not worth it? We seem to be going in very different directions in this game with who we like, who we want to work with, etc. They told me that they actually liked Clefford (because they flirt) and like AJ's chaos. I am certainly sweating lol. It's time to put some distance between us in a way that won't affect my game. I do kind of have a boot order planned already which is insane I know. Phase 1: AJ, Arvin, Maddison. Phase 2: Clefford, Zo, and Adeline. Phase 3: Hairie, Colin, and Trinica. I think I could safely get to F3 if the F4 was me, Jinx, Amy, and Brandi. But this is just an ideal boot order. I'm sure there will be many bumps in the road. Right now, Phase 1 is active. Get rid of Arvin and Maddison, two goat-ish people who aren't my goats nor are loyal to me. And then start the train of big threats by getting rid of AJ. Honestly, maybe getting rid of Adeline early would be good too since I think Colin might work with Adeline and Zo. Nip that in the bud. Phase 2 is really just get rid of all the big threats that aren't my allies. Phase 3 is get rid of my allies until it's just my goats. I wonder if I'd have enough sway power in that case lol.

I told Hairie all about my suspicions of Clefford. I don't know if he bought it. But I felt it was fair to expose a lot of my hand to reveal trust with Hairie. He and I mutually exposed the tribal lines alliances we are in as well. If I can get Hairie to turn on Clefford, that would be such a good move on my part. I'm putting in the work early.

AJ

SURPRISE MERGE? FUCK YEAH!

The way I am so relieved to at least have options. I mean fucking finally right. Best that would have happened if we went to tribal at 4 is rocks unless Trinica or Clefford flipped. I’m so glad to be back with Jinx and Raffy and also everyone on Antigua seems friendly for now but I have to keep in mind they’ve been at this a lot longer than I have.

So far I feel good that Raffy will have my back, idk why but I trust him. And hell maybe I shouldn’t but I do for now and we’re at jury so I feel like I can be a bit more chaotic now. Also JINX! I’m so happy we’re merged together like aaaaah. Didn’t know about Colin but I’m feeling alright about him having my back too. Clefford I’m on the fence about. Boi literally said he’s keeping me around as a shield so that’s never good.

I have a massive suspicion that I can’t trust Hairie. If Trinica is right, and I believe she is on this one, then Hairie was pushing for me to go home instead of Tanner. Which makes sense bc, why else would Tanner have put my name? There was nothing to distrust before this. Clefford said he was voting Tanner, which he told Hairie and Trinica. So the only way Tanner would have heard my name is from someone he trusts (read: Hairie).

Anyway I’m hoping I can make enough connections quickly enough that come Tribal Council I don’t go home. I really have no idea what’ll happen though. So far I’ve not heard from Amy or Maddison. I don’t think I can trust Hairie or Brandi at this point, sad as it is. Also my other concern is, I have no idea where the lines in the sand are. Like who is and isn’t working with who. Have a feeling we’re about to find out though at tribal. I just hope I’m not KO’d in the crossfire. Being Mayor of Ponderosa is fun but not THAT fun.

Raffy

This merge tribe is going to be an interesting one for me. Firstly, I’ve been reunited with Zo and Maddison, two people of which I have never actually worked with in this game since I was shut out immediately by the self-proclaimed “woman’s alliance.” Colin said that he trusts Zo and Maddison, but I don’t. They won’t necessarily vote me out, but they’ll play around me which I don’t care for. However, they’re not the people I’m targeting early cause Colin needs them for votes and by extension me too. Secondly, I think I made Adeline a little mad with my joke about them winning in the tribe chat. Hopefully I didn’t make an enemy, but, if I did, at least I have a first target lol. Thirdly, Jinx has reunited with Colin, but also with Clefford. I wonder if they’ll forget about Colin and just go after Clefford. Or if after Clefford is gone, start going for Colin again. Tricky situation for me. In any case, keeping Clefford around may make him my shield so the rivalry between him and Jinx can take the heat off of Colin and I. Fourthly, I’ve reunited with Hairie and he does not want AJ in this game lol. He said as much on a tribe call. So that’s another rivalry that could work to my advantage. Lots of rivalries in this season! Fifthly, we had a tribe call where not only did Hairie said what he did, but Jinx also admitted to be targeting Clefford to an audience of Trinica, Hairie, Colin, and Arvin (maybe Zo, idk if she was there at that point). I’m sure that information will get back to him at some point today. Sixthly, Clefford immediately came into my DMs being like “you have to protect me.” But, like, I know you Clefford. You probably already have a Final 3 that you’re going to cut at Final 5 in favor of two goats. You wanna win as badly as I do so will never take me to the end. However, he can believe we’re working together for the moment. I just have to find the right time to take him out. Idk who my target is gonna be. Maybe Arvin, maybe AJ, maybe Clefford, maybe Maddison. We shall see.

Brandi

a raffy/trinia/brandi/amy alliance? too soon to tell but we will see.....

AJ

New information means new thoughts. Allegedly - according to Adeline who heard from Colin - there’s a mutiny pact from OG Antigua to basically not vote each other out and only vote out us new schoolers. I’m not sure how much of that I can trust. Colin was on the bottom of his tribe, Adeline was on the bottom of the new tribe. It may just have been his way of sowing distrust against the Antigua members and making himself a place at merge. Idk. I don’t really know Colin’s MO. Which isn’t great.

But the issue here is, if we vote as Sin Sazonar I’m not in a good position in the end. Hairie, Arvin, Brandi, and potentially Clefford will all work together. Clefford might rope in Adeline too. That leaves me and Trinica as a F7 and F6 elimination. At best F5 and F6. Though that’s doubtful. And who knows maybe Clefford will vote with Trinica and I in that eventuality. If Trinica and I even work together that far. We promised we’d attempt to make merge together and actually work together. But of course now that we’ve done that all bets are off potentially. So I need to see where she and I stand.

I have more friends on Antigua then on Sin Sazonar. Which is good if Hairie truly is/was gunning for me. He might have changed his tune with the new mutiny pact brought to light but who knows. It sucks since I wanted to work with him, but idk if our play styles in this game are compatible. Jinx allegedly fears that she, Trinica, and I will be automatically assumed to be working together. Unsure where she’s getting that idea from but I definitely want to get to the bottom of it. Raffy said “I’d love for you to stay in the game for as long as possible uwu” so I’m hoping that’s a good thing.

But yeah still unsure where everything stands. And I could very well be merge boot. Waiting to see what my merge feast results are and maybe I’ll find an idol today who knows. We shall see, we shall see.

Zo

Ok so merge! Kooky crazy of you Jay but I love that I made it this far always my goal every season. It’s really interesting playing with the new schoolers because I find us olds like to make jokes about who we’re targeting like as a joke but it’s actually started some paranoia among them and I’m not gonna correct anyone! Because the more paranoia not around me the easier it is for me to slip by undetected. I think my social game has been pretty peak so far (given that I literally didn’t even submit for the challenge one week and my bonds kept me in the game) so I’m hoping that can carry me through a few more rounds at least.

AJ

After a very very long chat with Hairie I feel like we’ve come to a somewhat agreement. At this point if it bites me in the ass it bites me in the ass and there’s nothing I can do about it. But I think we’ve got a good thing going. Apparently contrary to what I thought, it was not Shawn and Brandi (I mean we all knew Brandi was fibbing, let's be real) but it was Trinica and Brandi sharing things with Hairie. Which makes me think Trinica isn’t playing as closely with me as she’d like me to think she is. Do I trust her for now? Yes, in part. But who knows what the future holds.

--

Omg not the live unfolding of Adeline and I finding out we used to go to the same homeschool group as each other in the tribe chat. TIL the world is a small place and Stings is where we all come together.

Raffy

Ok so I think it's gonna be Maddison vs. AJ. I am voting AJ to keep good with the old school tribe. Though I've successfully planted the seeds to turn people against Clefford so that's a good thing. Most of the day was chill until the old school started their plan to scramble the vote to split the new school votes. It isn't gonna work, but it was cute to try.

AJ

I am not hehe hahaing right now. I feel like I could potentially go home tonight. It seems from what I’ve heard collectively that if my name is out there it’s because of Hairie. Which he even point blank admitted to. It seems to me as though maybe he was pushing for me when he thought it was a good idea, but is backtracking now that the news of a mutiny pact came out from Adeline. Now according to Hairie my name was gaining traction among the old schoolers. He allegedly heard it from Raffy; who said to me that he wanted to keep me around “as long as possible.” But how long is what’s possible, yk?

Now according to Trinica Raffy wants to work with us, Jinx wants to work with us, and Colin also is open to working with us. But unfortunately it seems like none of them want to work with each other. Jinx seems to want Colin gone, Colin is scared of Raffy, Raffy I haven’t heard from in that regard and might not know either of these things. Which makes me nervous. The new schoolers seem to want Maddison gone. Which is understandable since she’s very MIA. I liked our little conversation but if it’s her or me then I’d prefer it to be her to go.

Idol hunt business. Unsure what’s happening. I went on a path last night that didn’t get finished since Jay sent the response to my path request at like 3am (understandable). I’m hoping that I can finish that one today and it’ll not count for today’s hunt. Kind of hoping I can find an idol, but allegedly this spot has coins if not an idol, so I could potentially get coins and then get to that pen that I need before tribal council. I’m just crossing my fingers and toes that I get SOMETHING before tribal. Because I really do not want to be merge boot.

We shall see as the day progresses and I talk to more people what is actually going to happen. I’m just really hoping Hairie is wrong about my name being seriously out there. If I were the old schoolers I would have taken that crack and ran with it too, so I don’t blame that for spiraling if it did. Though I would prefer to not be a name allegedly under consideration at all. Something that makes me uneasy though is that when I was on a call with Trinica she said Raffy was saying, paused, seemed to search, and then said it was Adeline he was saying.

Like ok they have beef, that tracks. But then I was like, oh but Adeline is immune. And idk Trinica’s pause after that made me a little suspicious. Was it my name Raffy was saying? Who knows at this point. But I will say if Trinica is playing me again, after the big trust each other thing she said earlier in the game, I’ll probably be upset on a more personal level. Something about that moment is giving CTC, she’s heard my name but didn’t tell me, won’t vote me so technically she’s not voting me out, but is complicit in me going home sort of vibes.

Again who knows who I can trust. I think Trinica no longer trusts Hairie, which is potentially a good thing. Though after the Zee elimination allegedly Hairie, Brandi, and Trinica had a group chat together. Which I accidentally gathered from my conversation with Hairie. Hoping to have another convo a bit later with him, and really right now just hoping I don’t go home. But as always, what happens happens, and I have some time to make sure what happens is that I don’t go home. God I really don’t want to go home.

Trinica

I am being SUCH A MESSY BESSIE during this merge!

This is such a different game for me compared to the last time I played Stings. Throwing names out there like nobody's business, spreading people's secrets like wildfire, etc etc. We're here for a chaotic time, not a long time! The funny thing is I don't even think I'm *that* much of a target this round. Like maybe I'm gonna eat shit and I'm the name going around, but I actually think most people think I want to work with them and are willing to keep me.

So what do I actually want to do? WHO KNOWS. I feel deeply terrible about potentially voting AJ, but AJ simply barely talks to me. We fall into this in every game we play together now: She holds her cards so close to her chest they may as well be in her rib cage because I blindsided her ONE TIME, and then she maybe is actually working with me but I CAN'T TELL BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T TELL ME SHIT. She won't ever throw out a name to me or tell me who she's working with because she's worried I'm going to use that info to make her look bad, but like, I was actually open to working with her this game! But then I hear from Hairie that she's bringing up CTC and North Sea as reasons why she's having trouble trusting, and like okay, valid (except for CTC-- I barely did anything there, just let her dig her own grave)... but it also makes me feel like she's holding onto a grudge if she's bringing those games up to other people. So AJ if you're reading this later and I ended up betraying you, I'M SORRY OKAY!! YOU JUST DON'T TALK TO ME!!! Like I lowkey feel like AJ and I can never play another game together because we're both soooOOOOoooo wary of each other.

Hairie is my love but also a chaotic king which makes it hard to work closely with him. My one true love, F2 is probably Brandi. And then I also really would love to work with Jinx again, we just vibe so much. I haven't spoken to Jinx in ages like pretty much since North Sea but we just pick up again like nothing and are having our lil kiki. But Jinx doesn't trust Colin, and I would love to work with Colin. And then Jinx also doesn't trust Raffy??? But I wanna work with Raffy :( Meanwhile I also wanna work with Adeline but Adeline hates Raffy's guts (this is an exaggeration) and I wanna work with Arvin but he doesn't talk to me and I wanna work with Zo but Zo's like apparently the kingpin of Antigua soooo girl idk. Back in the classic Trinica conundrum of everybody's cool, I wanna work with everybody. Idk what my way forward is! Hopefully one of my options just gets taken out and then I don't have to make a choice askdjflakdjfal

Brandi

I have no idea what’s going on. Maddison has an idol? Adeline has 3 DAs? I can’t attend because it’s my anniversary? 🤔😓🥲

Maddison

this blonde bimbo barbie is about to go home!! major flop but i’m throwing shit at the wall rn and seeing what sticks

[new-york-no-shoes]

Someone help me decide if I should cancel my pre order of the moonstone Midnights vinyl for jade green?

[xejisss]

The Apartment Lady: So, this apartment would cost $994 a month, which is under a $1,000 just like you specified.

Me: But...if I add in all the additional fees I'm required to pay then it actually comes out to $1,172 a month. And that's not even getting into the fact that I have to pay a pet fee instead of deposit so, I'm losing an extra $600 that I'll never get back as well...

The Apartment Lady: Oh well, that's true...

[fingertipsmp3]

Being in your mid-twenties is just like.. you want to look cool but you don’t know what is currently cool because you’re not in high school or even undergrad anymore so no one is outright making fun of you for your bad fashion choices, so you just have to google “is [x] cool” and feel dumb

[helpimhyperfixating]

What if all the stardust crusaders were also mermen?

This is my first time writing for the other Jojo’s, so I’m sorry if they’re ooc. I tried 🤷‍♀️

Didn’t know exactly what you wanted so I just did some random things XD (sorry for the weird formatting)

What if the Crusaders were also Mermen? Chaos, that’s what. Just imagine a journey across the seas just to beat up the sea snake that is Dio, but then think ten times harder. Going from the Pacific Ocean, to the Indian Ocean, into the Arabian Sea all just to get his ass.

Enemies are still sent by Dio, but now Dark Blue Moon is no longer special, kek. No but, while the enemies remain similar, Stands aren’t really a thing and therefore it becomes more a fight of physical strength. When Mer can come in all sorts of shapes, colours and sizes however, the battles always remain with an unsure outcome. Vanilla Ice the Giant Squid was a very close call.

The journey itself was tiresome, with them having to swim the entire way instead of being able to use transportation. Not to even mention other things. Every day is chaos - not even taking enemies into account - when travelling with the crusaders:

Polnareff won’t have to worry about clean toilets for once but still always seems to be complaining about something, Kakyoin and Jotaro are both still adolescents so they don’t quite have a grip on their instincts yet, more easily distracted by small things such as animals they don’t yet know or a shape quickly fluttering away in the current (must be chased and caught!!!), Joseph is basically an overgrown adolescent even if he is the patriarch of the pod so he usually shoots along with his grandson and friend. Iggy is there but then he isn’t??? And then he is again?? All in all, Avdol should get a medal, award, title, anything and everything really for his patience and ability to keep the others on track and keep them going.

Now, personality wise:

The Joestar pod is a big one. Family and friends coming together over time to form a larger and larger pod until it is eventually one of the largest out there. All kinds of Mer have come together to form this giant family unit and - apart from one defect (Dio) - it has stayed surprisingly tight knit.

Jonathan:

He is the pod patriarch, making the decisions together with Erina, who is the matriarch.

Super protective of the pod. Would shield the entire family with his body if he could. But since he can’t he’ll settle for just shielding all the pups, since the others can protect themselves. He is large enough to do so anyways.

Best play mate possible. All the pups love him.

I imagine he either has the body of a seal, or a blue whale. Very different yes, but he is just an excited ginormous puppy, hence the seal. But he is also a gentle giant, hence the blue whale. And also... other, more obvious reasons (*cough* he buff and giant *cough*).

Joseph:

In his younger years, he is the bane of existence of all the adults in the pod. In both his adolescent as well as young adult/adult stage, Joseph is a hyperactive troublemaker. More than once he has snuck out of pod territory, only to come fleeing back with an angry sea creature on his tail, needing resident buff protector Jonathan to step up and chase his attacker off.

In his older years, he has mellowed out a bit, needing to be since he inherited the position of pod patriarch from Jonathan. He is however, still a prankster and always will be. He will play a prank on the pups every so often where he pretends to have died in the night when they come get him for meal- or play time (He’s been scolded by Suzie Q for that after one of the pups burst out crying. He promised to never do it again, but he definitely will).

I imagine he has the lower body of a dolphin. Dolphins can be real assholes. But also very playful and agile, which Joseph stays, no matter his age. Either that, or a sawfish. Their faces look a little silly, but don’t bloody mess with them. They are fast as all hell and they can also get to be fujking big. About 7 meters (23 feet) on average to be exact. But then again, Joseph wouldn’t get the face so he has nothing to worry about.

Jotaro:

Oh, Jotaro. Our resident grumpy Mer. In a pod dynamic he usually has one of two moods. Tolerant, or, leave me the fuck alone. Usually it is the latter.

Surprisingly enough however, his personality seems to appeal to several of the pups. It’s about a 50/50 chance whether they’ll be scared of him, or think he is the coolest. Oftentimes a disgruntled Jotaro can be seen, followed by about two or three small Mer who are chatting his ears off or chewing on his side fins as they teeth.

Thanks to this, Jotaro is often the one who goes hunting. It finally gives him a bit of that peace and quiet he needs. Yare yare indeed.

I imagine Jotaro to have the body of a bull shark. Not the biggest or most aggressive shark out there, but part of the top 3 for sure. Also, Mer have the tendency to have their tails be bigger than their animal counterpart, such is definitely the case with Jotaro. Male bull sharks averaging in about 2 meters in length while just Jotaro’s tail is already almost double that.

Josuke:

Josuke has inherited some of his father’s hyperactivity unfortunately. The young Mer can often be heard from a mile away whenever he is hanging out with his friends.

Speaking of which, one day Josuke just turned up with several Mer in need of a home. Guess they’re part of the pod now!

Josuke is always quick to help anyone who needs it though. Need a hand? Josuke is there. Want someone to watch the pups? Might be a bit of a hazard, but Josuke will gladly do so. Need something that is very specific and probably quite a swim-distance away? Josuke is already on his way there.

He just wants to help and be useful, let him do stuff please 🥺

Still somehow has his hairdo, even underwater.

I drew Josuke as a Nurse shark a little while back, but for some reason I can also really see him being a sting ray?? I don’t know why, I think a sting ray fits him but that may be my bias towards stingrays.

But the lower half I can really see him having is that of a sailfish. (Have you seen the sails on those fish? They are just as impressive as Josuke’s hair. It’s a perfect match) they are fast as fuck boiiiiii, perfect for our lovable goof.

Either that or he is an otter cause they are bloody adorablez

Giorno:

Giorno wasn’t born as part of the Joestar pod unfortunately. Growing up, his father, Dio, had different goals and morals and broke away from the Joestar pod. Oftentimes Giorno heard him talk about the old pod he was once a part of, and how he vowed to wipe it from the sea.

This sparked a curiosity in the young Mer and when he was old enough, he decided to just up and leave the Brando pod. His initial goal was to find the Joestar pod he had heard so much about, but on his travels, he came across a different one. After spending some time with them, he decided to remain with Bucciarati and his pod of misfits.

All kinds of sea creatures flock to Giorno. For some reason, the calm and confident aura he gives off makes many animals feel safe and protected, hiding under or against his body if he is resting or sitting down on the ocean floor, or - if Giorno allows it - following him as he swims.

Giorno. Hmm, Giorno. I think he might have the lower body of a barracuda or a lion fish. Sleek, streamlined, dangerous. Or, pretty, yet hard to approach with his poisonous spikes poised unless he trusts you and allows you near. His spikes will lie as flat down his body as he can get them to show this. Not many Mer have this honour.

(Or he is part of the requiem shark family, lols, sorry I had to)

Jolyne:

Jolyne can be energetic or standoffish, you can never really tell which of the two it will be. Her dynamic in the pod differs from day to day depending on her mood, but when it comes to it, there is nothing she won’t do for it.

Very playful and giddy. Loves to hang out with her best friends and is the unofficial appointed forager with how much stuff she brings back whenever she goes for a swim.

Jolyne’s lower half. Hum hmm. Her body either somewhat resembles a butterfly fish, only- updated to be more mermaid like by being more stretched out, her tail fin mainly resembling the fish while her tail is more classic. It’s very pretty though and she somehow has some octopus genes in her, making her able to change colours, which she absolutely loves to do, nearly coming in with a new colour every day (though she has a few favourites) Either that, or she resembles her dad a little more with the lower half of a spinner shark. She’s sleek and agile. A swift and dangerous predator you should not mess with. She might look harmless when she’s chatting with her friends, but when she is spinning at you with claws poised and no way to escape, you’d click a different tune.

Haven’t read part 7 or 8 yet, sorry :(

[fortunescaling]

1, 3 and 12 :)

What made you pick the character?

I’ve always had an interest in the Quincy since their introduction with Uryuu. I felt very intrigued by their implied grim backstory, the stark contrast in their rather straightforward power to the more intricate Shinigami’s, Uryuu’s strong pride in his heritage, the clashing stances in his family...

When TYBW got out, I originally had a bit of a hard time connecting with the Quincy as individuals as they did not get a lot of focus, in terms of backstory or build up. But Jugram’s backstory absolutely won me over. I never expected him to turn into such a compelling character. 

I generally lean towards writing characters who have a very different mindset to mine, who offers compelling, relatable flaws and nuanced to work with. All the better if they come from a complex world/ in-story culture or sub group that gives me a variety of theme to explore; characters’ environment actually plays a pretty big role in whom I pick to write. Jugram fit the bill in all of my criteria. The more I explore his character the more I find interesting elements. 

What’s the best thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.?

The world building. I think Kubo did a remarkable job at building such a rich, complex and nuance world, where even the characters are little words of their own and every detail, up to the characters’ names (which are usually the bane of a lot of writers’ existence lol), is carefully thought out. On top of the many reflections its nuance offers to the audience, where nothing is at it seems and twists in surprising way. 

I believe that’s what makes Bleach so immersive for us fans and readers; at the same time an aspect of Bleach Kubo really doesn’t get enough credit for as an author, in my opinion. He’s obviously done a lot of research on a variety of topics and references, is very knowlegeable, and must have spent an equally tremendous amount of energy to turn it into a story and make all fit together. Many fans even gladly forgive him for the rather frustrating learning curve and other story flaws. I think it says something. 

 It’s pretty rare to find authors who are both proficient at world building as well as writing compelling characters and stories, even though Bleach has a great many flaws, gotta give credit where it’s due. 

What would you say is the most unique trait about your character?

This one is a tad difficult to answer, because I’m not sure if there is such a thing as a unique trait? But one element I found pretty unique about him is how Kubo managed to write a passive character in a way that felt both interesting and intriguing, twisting & playing around the theme of the wheel fortune. 

Jugram, through the arc, never really make active or impactful decisions or choices that stems from an strong individual will. At the beginning, he doesn’t do much but follow Yhwach and wherever the plot drives him. 

When he gets more focused, when his backstory is revealed, most of his meaningful choices look more of the result of circumstances, the odds playing against or in his favors, than active choices of his own; I doubt a kid could have said no to a Quincy god when told he’ll be his right-hand man, then when Bazz confronts him it’s clear he doesn’t want to fight him, in fact, never had any intent in it. And so on. 

Characters who are not active in a given story, never make choices or decisions that impact their characters or the plot in meaningful ways, rather get carried by the plot than carry it themselves, can quickly fall as boring and irritating. Which is how I actually felt with him at the beginning. Prior to his back story, that’s exactly how I felt about him. 

Yet I found Kubo managed to twist it in a pretty clever way. In spite of very much disliking the As I Lay On My Deathbed Grand Tirade trope, I absolute love the irony of Jugram’s death monologue about making meaningful choices and considering the significant impact said choices can have on your life. 

[ginjointsintheworld]

The calls for jail time and the loss of every single person that ever brought Lauren joy were so silly and extra that I know that if she was actually the interim medical director, the rage it would induce in #TeamMaxTheMessiah would be amazing lmao. I don’t really pay attention to anything outside Leyren these days because the show isn’t good enough to get me to care but the rare times I venture into the main tags on twitter and search Lauren it’s just like. A massacre lmao. Half people not knowing how these kinds of faux stakes shows work and half hating her because she’s a woman with an attitude? Or something? Idk but the misogynistic bitterness jumps all the way out and it’s mostly funny but also, makes me wonder if they’d even like Helen if she wasn’t tethered to Max because some of the shit they say is literally just ‘how dare women’ lol

Lol the jail line from 3x14 is truly the bane of my existence. This show has had so many lines that were obviously for dramatic effect but you know the haters take it as fodder and latch on as should be 'consequences'. It's very funny that people still clamor on about how lauren should be in jail for the donation when floyd is out here openly talking about nottingham's family donating a BUILDING for his residency spot. Or how fuentes heard about the donation and used it as blackmail to get lauren to make another donation to the hospital.

Anyways the funny thing is that although she'd hate it, I think lauren would actually be a pretty good medical director. she's conscious about money and budget and knows how to creatively handle shortages of it while running a dept, she comes up with actionable solutions (starting a community garden instead of opening a grocery store run by a hospital for example lmao), she's decisive and firm and she has a bleeding heart for patients. But you're right, the haters would foam at the mouth at the thought of lauren ascending to do something better than Max lmao. Frankly I do hope she's the interm just for that reaction. they seem to only want wilder in that spot since max 'handpicked' her. though seeing as how her solution to fuentes was running dangerous, off the books surgeries (which lauren did participate in one dont get me wrong) she might be too along the veins of max.

Idk I feel like if you go out of heavily fandom spaces, the general viewing audience likes lauren's character. But there are a rampant amount of sh*rpwin shippers who loathe her for wild reasons and partly because of some made up in their head drama between janet and freema over lack of ig post likes or some shit LOL. Tbh I think if MAX wasn't tethered to helen he'd get a lot more grief and a lot less passes for the shit he pulls.

Bottomline, Twitter is the absolute worst platform for fandom experience 😩

[igarbagecannoteven]

good luck on writing your novel opening! i am sending you lots of positive writing and plot vibes!!! but also i would like to know the answers to 5, 11, 12, 24, 35, 43, 54, 72, and 77! That's a lot of questions so feel free to pick and choose but i am genuinely curious about all of them -hazel

thank you for the positive vibes and good luck wishes!! they have been received and i edited and reworked the first 4.5k of the assignment! (most of it had already been edited previously, so don't be too impressed lol)

5. how many wips do you have? how many fandoms/pairings are they for? depending on what you count as a "wip", i'd say somewhere btwn 30-40ish? all 5sos pairings have more than one wip, and i've got a couple hp wips (and one doctor who drabble, but that's finished so it doesn't count)

11. do you write scenes in order or do you jump around? i usually start from what i think is the beginning at the time and then start jumping around when i either run into a wall or am inspired by something that will happen later!

12. do you outline your fics? if yes, how detailed are your outlines? how far do you stray from them? it depends! most fics i start have a general idea of how they'll go, but they rarely get an outline (unless you count one sentence in a notes app as an outline, but i don't) as for proper outlines, i have three aus (my big superhero au, we gotta make a decision's parent au, and my crazy scifi au) that have "proper" outlines, which range from extremely vague to very specific. i have yet to stray too far from any of them, but i'm also not super far along so we'll see! (my 4th of july au and my baby blue au also have docs that are vaguely outline shaped, but i'm not counting them for multiple reasons, chief among them being that they may never be written)

24. how do you choose which pov to write from? answered here!

35. what's your favorite fic you've posted? ohhh gosh. i really do love what if i'm weak (and i need you tonight?) i think it's one of my strongest writing-wise, i love the characters, it's my 2nd most popular fic,,, yeah idk i just think it's nice :))

43. is there a trope or idea you'd really like to write but haven't yet? lots! there are so many that are in wip-land, but one that hasn't even gotten a doc yet is a longer fic that's both a quarantine au and a slowburn and a fic that centers around the character's ace-ness. i've been thinking about it for a while now and i think it's something i need to sit on for a few months/years before i start it, but hopefully someday it'll be written :))

54. what's the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics? it's very sad :(( i've got 3 malum, 2 lashton, 1 mashton, 1 cake, 1 malum friendship fic, and no muke or cashton :(((( i can't wait to release more stuff with other pairings i don't like how unbalanced it is :((

72. what's your favorite writing compliment you've gotten? today in my creative writing class i got a very nice compliment from a classmate that made me very soft(tm). he said something like "we've talked about how great your ideas and concepts are in your story and that's true, but the real strength is the characters, who are so real and strong that they help me believe everything about this world you're building". and i just. :') i mean any compliment on my writing makes me melt but i think characters are the most important part of a story and for him to say that??? i did not propose but it was a close thing ksdjflkdsjfljsd

77. why do you enjoy writing fanfic? i like the freedom it gives me! i like that i can write characters and not have to worry about telling people what they look like or their general vibe bc they already know! (i hate describing how characters look lol it's the bane of my existence) i like the community feeling! i love how people can just comment on what they liked best and know that i'll read it! i like that so many different kinds of writing can fit under this one umbrella! i just love it!!

writer’s ask time!

[honeypirate]

Unfinished Letter

My personal headcanon for Kunikida is when he wants to understand his feelings he writes them down and just writes with his flow of thoughts.

Anyway I know I didn’t write this as well as I could but I had to get the idea out so I could stop thinking about it so hard lol

Kunikida x Reader

~These excerpts were taken from the last page of his notebook. ~

In a quickly written scratch above the meticulous writing it says “My love is yours alone”

I fell in love with your laugh. The sound floating down to me on the breeze one day when walking back to work. I stopped yelling at Dazai and had to turn, to find where that beautiful sound was coming from.

I fell in love with your eyes. I watched in horror that day when Dazai walked up to you. What was he doing? What gave him the right? I tried to stop him but I was unsuccessful. “My friend thinks you’re pretty” Daizai had said. He never ceases to be the bane of existence. (Don’t tell him, but I’m glad he approached you that day)

Your laugh, again, captivated me. Light, sweet, bringing an angelic kind of peace to my soul. My heart beat raced as your beautiful eyes met mine, glowing and such a deep color, I felt like I could fall into them forever.

“Is that so?” You had asked, a grin on your soft pink lips, a look that is forever ingrained in my memory.

I find that I cannot lie to you even if i wanted. Something about looking into your eyes compels me to tell you anything you may ask. “Yes” I had said “although I would have been more respectful about telling that to you” Your hand touched my shoulder and I felt a jolt in my heart “I’m flattered” you had said. You are so kind and gentle, your fingernails were shining with a new paint job and when you dropped your hand I felt you take a piece of my heart with you.

You gave me your name, y/n l/n, a name I am positive the angels gave you themselves. After you gave me your number I stared at those few symbols on the phone screen, desperate to call you the moment we parted but I waited, and it was torture.

From that moment on it felt like my world had expanded, opening up more doors in my soul than I thought possible.

You alone are the one that holds the keys to my soul.

I fell in love with your kindness and generosity, the way you give without being asked, willingly, happily. You seem to practically shine with goodness and light and it reaches the very depths and corners of my soul. I went from darkness and strict order to having light fill my cup to the brim, chasing away every shadow.

You surprised me when you developed an easy friendship with Dazai. Easily adding to his antics and energy just for your amusement, even offering up some creative ideas for his suicide mission. Sometimes I find it hard to be annoyed with him anymore, your unique perspective of him chasing it away.

I’m currently looking at you from my desk, watching as you are desperately trying to convince him that dying because you laughed yourself to death was the way to go because then you’d die with a smile in that warmth that laughter brings.

That’s the way I would like to go, laughing and beyond happy with you at my side.

(Thank you by the way for bringing lunch today, it was amazing. It made me realize that you remember the little things about me, my favorite pen, the hair products I use, my favorite meal… another reason I fell in love with you.)

The way you always seem to remember every conversation we have or everything I mention in passing, making it obvious how special I am to you. Making sure to regularly ask me about the books I’m reading or asking about Mom every once in a while. You even went to visit her in the hospital with me and now she calls you every Sunday to chat.

That means more to me than you’ll ever know.

Your thread of life is tangled and woven through every aspect of mine, every day it becomes harder to distinguish the difference between our fates. I am almost positive it is because our fate is the same.

From that first day you just fit so perfectly in my life it’s hard for me to remember my life without you. You’re not a real member of the agency but you’re helping behind the scenes so often no one ever thinks about the technicalities, even I don’t think about that specific technicality anymore (mostly)

Everywhere I find space where I’m lacking, you fill the gaps without me having to ask or without truly considering it. Seeming to be the easiest decision you’ve made, to offer your help or show up when I need you. I am convinced that you are my guardian angel.

I fell hard in love with your personality. You are always on top of things. Organized, disciplined, strong but you also radiate goofy energy and you genuinely care for everyone you meet. What a rare quality to possess, I really admire that about you.

I can see your insecurities, I notice the places you feel like you lack, I need you to know that I will do my best to fill your gaps as you fill mine. I will use my strength to build you up as you have built me up. I will strive to replace your shadows with light as you have for me.

There is one problem though

You do not know I feel this way

I must confess to you how I feel, soon. This seems to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do outside of work. I thought writing it down would be the way to go but I know when I look in your eyes tonight at dinner, I will know what to say. Thank you, thank you, for going out with me tonight.

Dazai is being a pain now so I have to end this note

-K

[piduai]

man. i dont like tsukishima very much cause unlike ogata and usami (cycle paths) or koito (blinded by hero worship) he Knows that hes doing rlly fucked up shit and Cares that hes doing rlly fucked up shit but he refuses to stop bc then he would have to actually reflect on all the horrible stuff he's done as His Own Actions instead of kinda dumping the blame on tsurumi (who admittedly did give the order) and living that guilt free life. anyway i think this is cowardly behaviour and i dont like him.

plus hes ugly and gives off cishet man vibes

you're so valid, glad to see other haters. only moment in the manga i managed to focus my attention on him was when he admitted at some point that he's aware that he's being used and manipulated but goes along with it because he wants to witness tsurumi's antics from the front row. i was like hmm for 2 minutes and then forgot about it. you're absolutely right though he's a spineless coward. he'll do anything to keep the status quo because he's terrified of being held accountable for his actions. he threw his sense of identity away and dedicated his life to serving tsurumi because he couldn't see what else he could live for, and he became comfortable in his position of impartiality; if you follow orders you can pretend that you're dirtying your superior's hands by proxy and not your own, and therefore your conscience shall be absolved of guilt because you were following orders. really reminds me of milgram's research, wouldn't be surprised at all if part of inspiration for clitface's character came from there - stanford prison experiment is super duper famous and milgram's original interest WAS the behavior of soldiers who committed horrible atrocities during the war excusing their behavior as following orders.

not that he's not riddled by guilt, he's consumed by it. it's his driving power partially - makes him project on people a bunch, gives him severe anger issues, and kills any trace of decisiveness at the root.

i personally don't consider any of this character flaws though, he's the way noda intended him to be and i have no problem with his writing or his actions at all. my problem is entirely based in preference - i simply find him boring, uninteresting and lacking flavor. his conflict and drama and trauma and the way it manifests and whatnot does not intrigue me by a iota, i see through him each time he's on screen. i don't care what happens to him and i have no interest in his story or development. i find it bizarre that in a cast so rich and diverse as gk he happens to be a fan favorite, though it's easy to explain why - he's less eccentric and idiosyncratic than the rest of the cast therefore it's very easy to project your personal wants and whatnot on him, this is why bland straight man characters are often popular lol. i'd continue seeing right through him if it wasn't for the disgusting menace and bane of my existence that is ktsk and to a lesser extent tsrtsk, which are absolutely inescapable no matter where you go. i find both revolting and i'm sick to my throat of seeing that content everywhere and especially being unable to get any solo koito, not even mentioning koito with characters who are not him. ending up hating the dude himself is simply collateral damage.

and yeah he's definitely a core heterosexual and ugly as shit to boot. and not a based str8 like tsurumi who is actively trying to start an armed international conflict just to get his wife a citizenship post-mortem, he's so cringe he's too afraid to find out for sure whether his honey is alive or not because oblivion and ambiguity is sweeter and easier to deal with, it allows him to live in denial. what a loser.

[normal-thoughts-official]

I see so many people saying that lydia was/is a qUeEn and a hEro for being okay when alec kissed magnus at 'their wedding' but like...She knew that alec had feeling for magnus before the wedding and still was going to go ahead and marry him which meant that alec well them both would've been unhappy🤷🏽‍♀

I just don't like lydia tbf, she kinda rubbed me the wrong way but that might be just me😕

diaiduahs ok so i debated with myself whether or not to answer this question for like 0.3 seconds before i realized that wait a minute, i have never shut the fuck up about what i think ever in my life. who am i kidding. but anyway fair warning that my opinion on lydia is pretty unpopular among "both sides" of that debate (i don't think there are ever just two sides to any issue but anyway)

also warning that i'm not dissing you or your ask in particular, just giving my opinion based on what i've seen and heard on this debate in the fandom

here's the thing. i don't think she did wrong by accepting alec's marriage proposal. i wouldn't say she did right either, in my opinion her choice was pretty morally neutral

because it would have been different if alec had no choice on the matter and she chose it knowing it would make him miserable. but that's not what happened at all

alec did have a choice. in fact, the fact that he proposed to lydia was something that made his parents (who are the main responsibles for his closeting) fucking pissed. he wasn't doing it to please them; he was doing it as part of his own plan

and again, don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that this wasn't extremely traumatic and awful to him. he wouldn't have even considered it if it weren't for the awful conditions of his closeting and abuse, and he would have been miserable for the rest of his life. but alec had agency. he wasn't helpless. he was making a decision based on the shit conditions that he was in, trying to ensure his own safety and success. the conditions were horrible, but every decision we make is based on the environment we are in. and acting as if lydia was somehow forcing him into this marriage is acting as if alec didn't have autonomy to make his own choices, which i think is pretty unfair to him

one more time! i'm not saying it isn't fucked up that he had to make that decision. i know that ppl a lot of times say "lol it was their choice" regarding ppl staying in the closet to wave off the trauma of closeting and debates about queerphobia in general. the closet wouldn't even be a choice that's presented if queerphobia didn't exist. no one's choises exist in a vacuum, we are all dealing with the material conditions of our lives, and queerphobia is a huge part of that; one that makes the best choices for us impossible. so like, no, he wasn't BY ANY MEANS 100% free to choose what he wanted. but he DID have agency in his decision to propose to her

besides, what was she supposed to say? "no ur gay lol"? it's not like outing him would have been an amazing move. and of course she could have said no and not said that it's because alec is gay and would never be happy with a woman, but honestly, what the fuck kind of right does she have to make that choice for him? she doesn't even know him. she has no right to tell him what he should do with the plate of shit that homophobia and abuse has handed to him, especially when he obviously is trying to keep his agency and have control over his situation and choosing to marry lydia was a part of that. again, maryse was pissed. when alec chose to marry lydia, he was doing it for himself

what would have happened if she had said no? he would have ended up marrying another girl. and probably one that his parents picked, not him. like, let's please give alec credit here. he chose to stay in the closet, but he was fighting being just a pawn in his parents' game from the start. and it's not like either of them had any illusions about what this marriage was; it was a business arrangement at best. alec called it a partnership. they both just wanted to use that situation to their favor. and in shadowhunter culture, that's normal (i'm not saying that's a good thing, just that it's a fact that influences her decision to say yes as well). like, do you think maryse and robert loved each other? we haven't really seen any other shadowhunter marriages so i can't say for others, but it sounds to me like marriages of convenience were pretty standard. if i were alec, id probably be relieved that she had said yes, because then they'd both be in a situation where they knew exactly what they were getting into and he didn't want to pretend

and don't get me wrong, i'm not saying she did alec a favor or some shit. i'm just saying i can't really see how she is doing him harm in that situation, and that i think this take is taking away a lot of alec's agency and if i were him i'd be pretty pissed about that lol

but tHEN we have the Lydia Stans who ALSO take his agency just as much with this absolute nonsense take that she was a "hero" because she "let" him call off the marriage. excuse me lol? he wasn't hers for her to "let" him do anything. what could she even DO to "not let" him kiss magnus? at best, she could have thrown a tantrum. which would have been pretty ugly, but like. pointless. she can't make him stay and if she had tried to this would make her a fucking asshole and a villain. but the fact that she wasn't a villain doesn't make her a hero lmao

she did the bare minimum! sure, she was gracious about it, it was nice that she said that he deserved to be happy, but still the bare minimum. it was alec's choice, not hers. she doesn't have any right to force him into this marriage, and she didn't have the means to, either, which is part of why i think her choice to accept his proposal was morally neutral

and god it's annoying as hell that ppl act as if she was doing some kind of favor by not being incredibly violent and homophobic and trying to force him into a marriage with her lol? like not being homophobic should be the least we expect. and again, alec can make his own choices. he didn't need her permission to do jack shit

so when it comes to the whole alec situation, i'm pretty neutral towards lydia. it's whatever. she was barely there for that plotline anyway. when it comes to the doyalist perspective of it all, i am pissed as hell that she seems to be so popular within the fandom as if she did something incredible or whatever, but my feelings towards her as a person/character would have been pretty neutral

but tHEN we have the fact that "both sides" of this debate openly and completely ignore all the other fucked up shit she did, like trying to arrest izzy for saving a downworlder's life (idc if she changed her mind, it was still gross) or her openly racist comments. her comment about raj should "cut back on the smartass after being manhandled by a warlock" was one of the racist comments that stuck with me the most in tHE WHOLE ENTIRE SHOW, because like. what??? warlocks are literally immortal powerful beings with access to magic shadowhunters can't DREAM of. and the "warlock" she's talking about is MAGNUS BANE, not only one of the most powerful of them, but someone that she supposedly admires??? like, my god, she was all but fangirling about him coming to the institute and then it's like. wow raj how could you lose to someone so inferior

like are you kidding me???? tell me how this comment makes ANY sense whatsoever unless you are the most shadowhunter supremacist person to have ever lived. there is no reason at all to presume that losing to a warlock is humiliating (especially considering how them powerful they are) unless you believe that shadowhunters should be inherently better than them at everything

but we never talk about that, now do we

so...... the super lydia-positive corner of the fandom annoys me to no end but overall this whole discussion just tires me from "both sides". i don't like her, and i hate that she is so loved when the shit she did is ignored and most of the stanning comes from a pretty belittling vision of alec anyway, but i also think the anti-lydia side focuses entirely on the wrong issues regarding her character

[angelsswirl]

Been Through

Summary: Y/N has been taking care of her four year old by herself. She did everything she had to make sure her daughter never wanted for anything. And she had planned to do that for the rest of her life, but Lisa Manoban and Jennie Kim have other plans.

Y/N has to make a decision: Lisa or Jennie?

Rating: Mature

Warnings: G!P Lisa and Jennie

Notes: This is my first BlackPink story so please be nice. Lol. I might post other side one shots and stuff and take requests eventually but this is it for now. Please make sure to like and rb!

Chapter 1: I've had enough of petty dues

Been about three years since I dated you. Why you still talking 'bout me like we together? I moved on for the better. You moved on to whoever.

You sighed heavily to yourself. Lily please don't do this to me today, you thought as you wrestled the denim jacket onto your stubborn four year old.

Lily only stared blankly at you as though she read your mind, but simply didn't give a shit.

Her brunette bangs flopped into her eyes, and normally she'd immediately bat them away, but moving would mean helping you get on her clothing, something she was simply not too keen to do at the moment.

You could practically feel her resisting the urge to twitch. Her eyes were turning red, and her hands were balled into tiny fists. All of this just because she didn't want to wear a stupid jacket.

Lily was stubborn. Just like her other...parent.

You swallowed harshly at the thought of Lily's....sperm donor. You're not sure if it's out of sadness or anger.

When you're finally done putting the finishing touches on Lily's outfit, you stood up and grabbed your purse. Lily could be heard frantically swatting at her bangs behind you.

"Come on, Lil. Time to go." The four year old grabbed your hand without hesitation, even though she still seemed to be mildly irritated with you.

"Where we going?"

You chuckled lightly as you locked your front door. Your precious baby. So sweet, but she had a horrible attention span.

"You know where we're going, baby. We're going to Whole Foods to get some groceries, then we're going to go pick out fish for your new tank."

Lily started to jump excitedly, "Yay! Fishies!"

Getting her into her carseat had proven to be easier than you thought, with all the excited squirming and all.

Fish were certainly a big deal to her, but grocery shopping was a big deal to you. You're an adult. Your problems are different than a four year olds. Who would've thought?

Grocery shopping was easily the bane of your existence. You didn't have to do it very often because it was only the two of you and you normally bought 2/3rds of the store when you went, but that didn't make it any less stressful.

You make it to Whole Foods sooner than you'd like. Lily is eager to get the shopping done and over with so she can get to her fish quicker. She has the right idea.

You throw your own denim jacket into the cart, Lily's small giggles erupting from where it landed.

"Where should we start first, Dancing Queen?"

Lily hummed lightly, her finger tapping her chin, "Fruit, Mommy. I want strawberries."

You nodded easily, heading over to the produce section. While Lily attempted to steal loose strawberries, you rummaged around in your purse for the grocery list you had made earlier in the week.

"You like strawberries? So do I." A voice said from somewhere near you. You normally wouldn't let strangers interact very long with Lily, but you're in Whole Foods. What could possibly go wrong?

"My Mommy says I'm not 'posed to talk to strangers." Lily said, rather brattily you might add.

"What if I told you, your Mommy and I aren't strangers?"

You glanced up from your purse at that, "No, I'm pretty sure we are stra-" Your voice cut out in shock. You're definitely not looking at a stranger.

"Hello, Y/N." The voice is so recognizable you're not even sure how you missed it.

"Jennie? What are you doing in LA?" Your question came out frantic, probably because that's how you felt.

Jennie Kim was definitely no stranger. In fact, she was the complete opposite.

Jennie's your ex.

Jennie ignored your question for the time being. Instead, she eyed your daughter curiously, "How old is she?"

"Jennie-"

"How old is she, Y/N?"

"She turned four last month." You practically whispered.

Jennie only nodded before clenching her jaw slightly.

"YG had us move here a few months ago."

Your chest skipped a beat at the word 'us'. That meant she wasn't alone. That meant all those things you tried to outrun four years ago are finally catching up with you.

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

"My name is Lily. Who are you? Why do you know my Mommy?"

Jennie looked back at you as if asking what was appropriate to say, you were in no position to speak at the moment.

"Lily. That's a beautiful name. My name is Jennie. Your Mommy and I used to be good friends." Jennie blinked harshly and spoke slowly.

Lily nodded along, that was all she needed.

"Rosé and Jisoo miss you. You should call them and hang out."

She's missing someone and you wondered if she left her out on purpose. You're too pussy to ask.

"Do you all have the same numbers?"

Jennie stuffed her hands in her pockets, "Yeah, but you're going to have to unblock mine."

It's petty. You both know it, but you deserved it and Jennie couldn't bring herself to care either way.

"I'm sorry, Jennie."

That seemed to break her general silence.

"You slept with my best friend. I don't know if your kid is mine or hers."

You rolled your eyes so hard, you're pretty sure they got stuck in the back of your head for a moment.

The claim was old and tired. The two of you had resolved that little discrepancy back in Korea.

"Can we not do this right now?"

"Now's as good a time as any...I thought we were okay, Y/N. I thought we had fixed all of our problems. Then, you just up and left."

You don't have the mental capacity to continue this conversation.

"I had to do what was best for us. I loved you, I really did, but there was just too much riding on us working out. I couldn't do that to you or myself. So, I left."

Jennie shook her head, "You could have talked to me about it."

"Jennie. Look, I love you, but we were just not going to work back then."

Jennie looked like she was about to speak again, but decided against it, her eyes drifted back to Lily's hazel ones.

"Fine. But please call me sometime soon. Maybe we can have a less hostile conversation over dinner.

"Yeah, maybe."

With one last look at Lily, Jennie turned around and resumed her own errands.

Yes, another reason to hate grocery shopping. Sometimes you run into your ex-girlfriend in the produce section and she asks you the really hard questions. Hate when that happens.

[morwensteelsheen]

I just have to tell you how much I ADORE “Finger Back.” I keep retreading it! I’ll be starting my masters in the autumn and reading this AU put a huge smile on my face and a warmth in my heart. (If only lecturers looked like Faramir or Aragorn, though. *sighs*) I do have a question that I’m not sure you addressed already: I read your endnotes that say you’re protective of Denethor, and I’m curious as to what your reasons are. Could you flesh that out for us? Cheers!

Thank you so much!!! I’m so glad to hear you dig it — and good luck with your masters!! 

So, yeah, The Denethor Problem. My answer to this is gonna go under a cut because this is gonna be such a long answer lol. 

Some of it is in response to how he’s portrayed in the films, which is I think wholly unfair, but a lot of it is because I think I recognise the real life cultural/social archetype (I think) Denethor fits, very much unintentionally on behalf of JRRT. For context, I’m a historian of modern British history by training, and gendered/political history specifically, so I spend a lot of time dealing with the social implications of WWI/II, if not the actual wars themselves. 

Denethor to me fits the mould of a very specific member of the Lost Generation (yes, I realise this is a largely-American generational identifier, but I think the cultural stereotypes fit well enough for the WWI generation in Britain), which is the sort of man who was, in effect, completely and utterly destroyed by the meat grinder that was WWI. Whatever he may have been had the war not existed doesn’t really matter, because the war was ultimately the end of life for him. A lot of British men of that generation faced what was essentially a systematic unmanning (not in the gendered sense, as in, total depersonalisation/dehumanisation), and were never given the care or community necessary to recover from it. They then went on to live through WW2, the slow and miserable recovery from that, and the repeated crises of the 1970s, which is typically when they died — see JRRT himself. 

These were men for whom the abject violence of war never really went away. Lots of them had severe PTSD, though it was never diagnosed and certainly wasn’t treated adequately, and almost all of them had some form of war-based trauma. They were men who were so scarred by the violence of WWI that things like love and joy and other positive human emotions ultimately ended up requiring too much energy and too much heartache to express, and so they retreated in on themselves. It’s not to say those emotions weren’t there for them, but what they experienced during the war was so traumatising it became hard to ever fully become “human” again. They were weapons of war discarded at the armistice. 

So, socially, I see a lot of Denethor in that, this man who has, effectively become the war. 

But also I think when you read the text there’s a lot to actually recommend Denethor. For starters (and I do intend on elaborating on this more later), we tend to only see Denethor when he’s in direct conflict with Gandalf, and Gandalf is obviously given the privilege of controlling the narrative. It’s this huge elephant in the room with most of the Gondorrim: we never really get more than fleeting glimpses at how unbelievably shitty and miserable life has been for them at the frontline of this war to end all wars. 

Actually I think I’ll run with this Gandalf comparison for a second. 

Gandalf is portrayed as this political and military mastermind, who rides from kingdom to kingdom fixing the problems of the free men of ME. We rarely ever see the aftermath of Gandalf’s time in these kingdoms, which means we never actually see what sort of political effort has to go into enacting Gandalf’s provisos, or covering up for the strange politicking that goes on. What this really comes down to is: Gandalf is a consultant, not a ruler, and in his status as consultant enjoys this moral distance from the practicalities of keeping a country/state afloat. 

Denethor, however, does not. Unlike Gandalf, he doesn’t get to go gallivanting about Middle Earth searching for Elendil’s heir or Isildur’s bane or whatever, because he’s got a kingdom to run. If there’s a plague in Lossarnach, it’s ultimately Denethor who has to take responsibility for that (even if there are multiple layers of vassals below him, the buck ultimately stops with him). When there’s an entire looming cataclysm at Gondor’s (and, in effect, Middle Earth’s) eastern border, Denethor’s the guy who has to coordinate that response. And in that it’s not just Gondor he’s responsible for. If Gondor falls, everywhere else will fall too, but as far as we’re told, Gondor’s running this defence almost entirely by themselves. 

And, importantly, Denethor’s a mortal. He’s a Man. I know that mostly is associated with death in LOTR, and, in the movies, the folly of Men’s pride, but what it really means, I think, is the tangibility of life. Life and time means something to Men, they have to feel and live in each second in a way the others don’t. They are tethered to the world in beautiful but also terrible ways.

The big gripe about Denethor is that he sends his son to hold Osgiliath. Okay, fine, but think about that this way, Denethor sends his son to Osgiliath. For us, the readers, and for Gandalf, the consultant, that could be anyone. But for Denethor, that is his son, flesh and blood, someone he loves dearly, one of the last living connections he has to his dead wife. The war is real and intimate for Denethor in a way it isn’t for other (yes, including Aragorn), and he bears this unbelievably difficult burden of being the ruler of a kingdom without having any of the real political legitimacy to be that leader. 

Which is to say: Denethor is the Ruling Steward, but he is no king. That’s a hugely important distinction, I think, and limits a lot of what I think Denethor has the right to do. He’s essentially managing the decline of a kingdom because he doesn’t have the right to play offence for it. Everything about his life and title is about making him subservient to something else — in his case, something that literally doesn’t exist (as far as he knows). Imagine how soul destroying that is. You have to bear all the horrible psychological and emotional burdens of ruling a kingdom with none of the benefits of getting to shape it in your own image. Horrible. 

We tend to give Théoden a pass for his weakness and (to be frank, even though I do love him) shittiness because he’s brought back to his senses. Denethor has suffered essentially the same problem as Théoden, except worse because he’s getting it direct from Sauron, and he never gets the chance for healing. And why doesn’t he get the chance for healing? Because he’s literally holding back the apocalypse. By the time anybody thinks to come help Denethor out, the world is already ending, and — so far as we’re told — nobody’s actually bothered to help Gondor out until the very end.

A lot of this is, tbh, wrapped up in how angry I get about how Gondor is treated by literally every other kingdom in ME, but I think Denethor-as-Gondor is a salient and important point so I’ll keep it in. 

Oh also, sorry for jumpiness (my ADHD meds are wearing off) but my other gripe with the Osgiliath thing is — okay so Denethor sent his son. But he had to send someone, didn’t he? If they hadn’t held back the army at Osgiliath Minas Tirith would’ve been overrun before anybody had the chance to get there to save them. So they have to do it, somebody has to go, so who does he send? Not his son because we, the readers, have a total crush on sadboi Fara? Okay fine, so then he sends someone else’s son. But that’s still someone else’s son! We just hate Denethor because he has to make the decisions none of us would ever want to make lol

Anyways. Yes. That’s why I’m super defensive of him, I just don’t think he gets a fair shake all things considered and wish he would. He’s not a villain, he’s a man at the edge of the world, and I think we all oughta have a little empathy for that.

Like, I do think he makes the wrong call on a lot of things, and, to put it lightly, I think trying to kill your own son is Not Great, but I think as a character Denethor deserves a more nuanced interpretation than what he gets. I actually spent today writing like a three thousand word Denethor POV on the idea of hope and his kiddos which I might post at some point. But yeah. Yeah. God, sorry, that was such an info dump lol 

[spindaonateaspoon]

Yo there! Oh all those spindas in the background are making me dizzy haha (one of my fave pokemon actually, love them). Okay, sooo that's pretty random ask but what are your top ten black clover characters? :D

Ah, a tumblr user of taste, I see. Glad you could get past the vertigo to send me an ask, I really appreciate it! Next time you can save your eyes a little stress and ask my interest blog @thespiralgrimoire instead!

Top 10 Favorite Black Clover Characters

1. Nozel Silva

There are a lot of reasons I absolutely adore this unhinged bedazzled train wreck of a man. I thought my love for him couldn’t swell any bigger when I watched the anime, and then I started reading the manga, and he only gets better.

First and foremost, he’s pretty. In an extremely conventional way, but hey, it’s conventional for a reason. Even with his stupid hair, he’s just nice to look at. This is despite the fact that he literally never smiles, which is usually an important feature to appearances to me. But coming back to the braid thing, he KNOWS it’s stupid, and you know  he knows it’s stupid, because he literally threatens the lives of people who criticize it. The boy made a bad aesthetic decision once when he was like 19 and said, “Oh shit. If I don’t own this, I will never live this down. It’s time to do or die.” And he owned it. He is doomed to look this stupid for the rest of his life or face an endless assault of naysayers. His pride will not allow it.

Which brings me to the next thing I love about him: He’s such an arrogant twat. Everything about Nozel screams “I’m better than you, and if you disagree with me, I will throw myself on the floor and cry.” He will not allow anyone to even entertain the idea that he’s not perfect. Even himself. Even when it’s glaringly obvious that he’s a hot mess. During the star festival, when he hears that the black bulls came in second, He Mcfreakin loses it. He gets so mad that when he can’t make Yami feel ashamed for being himself, he literally STOMPS OUT OF THE FESTIVAL.  It’s chapter 104. Look it up. I’m not exaggerating.

Finally, I’m a slut for siblings, and the Silva Squad is an endless goldmine. That dynamic is what gets me through the day. I could live off sibling dynamics. Nebra and Solid worship the ground he walks on, and Noelle can’t help but look up to him, even if he’s been a huge douchenozzel to her her entire life. At this point it’s all conjecture for how that relationship will develop, but got damn, I’m in this for the long hall.

2. Fuegoleon Vermillion

Again, this man is so pretty. They really got their royal aesthetics right in this show. I am a simple person, with simple desires, and pretty men that I can make fun of is about all I need to be happy.

That being said, Fuegoleon is a nice guy. Despite having every reason to have the Higher Than Thou attitude that Nozel has, he’s respectful of everyone. This, charmingly, extends to how he treats people for better or worse. My home boy ain’t walking around pretending everyone is deserving of hand holding and forgiveness. He’s beating everyone over the head when they do something stupid. NO ONE is immune to a Teachable Moment.

Which is probably the funniest thing about him. This man is incapable of not teaching. The entire city is being overrun by zombies and he stops in the middle of defending citizens to give Noelle a pep talk and magic lesson??? Bro. Time and place, my dude. I love you.

Actually the funniest thing about him is that despite obviously being the most reserved of the Vermillions, this guy has no chill. If he’s not screaming passionately about something that someone needs to learn, he’s squaring up. He has no off switch. Sure, he’s not running around with his fists up like Meoroleona and Leopold, but if you think he’s going to be any slower to throw a punch than they are then you and I are watching different anime. He may canonically be the most intelligent of the captains, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not a meathead. And I think that’s beautiful.

Okay the ranks get harder after this because these two are so easily my favorite LOL

3. Meoroleona Vermillion

I could say a lot of things about Meoroleona, but to save some space, I’m going to refer you to #2, and also show you my favorite character from Steven Universe. You do the math.

4. and 5. Nebra and Solid Silva

These two are such bitches. At this point in the series, they only exist to a) be Nozel’s hype men and b) be the bane of Noelle’s existence, and as a writer, I respect that. There’s not a lot to them in canon, but that hasn’t stopped me from designing their entire lives and backstory. I love them so much; not only for what I’ve made them out to be, but for where they could go as characters. We’ve already seen this a little bit with their asses being handed to them in fights, and I just hope that their asses continue to get handed to them until they come around to have some respect for anyone but each other and themselves. In the meantime I’ll continue developing their personalities on an interpersonal level.

Okay I’m not done. The REAL reason these guys made 4th and 5th is because, like I mentioned before, I am a slut for sibling relationships. Black Clover does them s o well. Even with the little we’ve seen, it’s so easy to tell that their love for Nozel and each other is so deep and sincere... even if it might be just a tad bit dysfunctional. There’s so much ground to cover with how the death of their mother affected them and pushed them closer together. But I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t have been super close had she stayed alive. You can just tell in everything they do that they live for each other. They’re EVERYTHING to each other. You get the impression that these two probably don’t really know how to be people separate from their siblings, because all they’ve ever had is each other. It’s such a great dynamic to grow and explore and if we don’t get more Silva interaction in the future I’m gonna throw a fit.

6. Ladros

Okay this is the point where this list starts getting a little wonky because I like almost everyone else in the series just about the same but---

I have feelings about Ladros Ladros. I don’t even know what it is about him. His design is impeccable. Every time I see him I want to scream. What emotion does he instill in me? Love? Hate? Lust? Disgust? I really don’t know. I just know that there’s a lot of it. Look at his little black eyes. Look at his smile. His hair. His barrel chest that doesn’t fit his twink face. What a man. I sure do feel about him.

Also, he’s my preferred brand of Little Shit.

7. Zora Ideale

Everything that applies to Ladros applies to Zora in exactly the same way. Priddy and meen. At least his face fits his body.

8. Finral Roulacase

He’s such a sweetheart, and I like his new haircut. I wish he was real so he could be my friend. And I cannot stress this enough: I feel that way about NO ONE else on this list. The rest of these assholes are better off fictional, but the world needs more Finrals.

9. Henry Legolant

Unlike every other character on this list, I actually don’t think that Henry’s design is all that pretty. What I love about Henry is that his whole personality is “My fragile heart is overflowing with love and care for all my friends... and if you so much as think about hurting them, I will pound your bones to dust.” And he follows through. King.

10. Dorothy Unsworth

There is no way that glitzy baby doll Dorothy wasn’t going to end up on this list BEFORE I found out that she and Nozel have feelings jams in Glamor World. Once we see more of her I’m sure she’ll fly up the list.

So, there you go! Thank you so much for the ask! This was really a struggle to put together after #5, but I had a great time doing it.