#many hugs

[vix-png]

been thinking about hugs ...

they are so special to me... (a few thoughts in tags)

[diony-svs]

i have been suddenly hit by a wave of sadness. fear. loneliness. anger.

i try to be neutral at best about being disabled. i do not want to return to the life i held when i hated my body. and yet, it is hard, and i am struggling.

abled people tend to forget how much we lose when we become disabled. it’s more than me “struggling to walk” or “being fatigued”. i lose relationships with friends and family, i lose my hobbies that now physically and/or mentally exhaust me, i lose things and people that mean a lot. i grow lonely and less hopeful of the future.

i am angry that my body is taking away things that are part of me, important to who i am and who i have become.

this is a gentle reminder to all of my fellow disableds who traverse this universe, as well as myself:

it is okay to be angry, sad, frustrated, and hate your situation. it is okay to be angry about people not understanding what life is like as a disabled person in a world not accessible to us.

your body is here. you are here. every part of your body and the aids you may have as they are in the present- they are marks that you are surviving. you are still alive. your body has adapted however it needs in order to keep working, to allow you to survive whatever it has undergone.

and i am so fucking proud of you, despite being a stranger on the internet. you have made it this far. i am so fucking proud of you.

may your pains ease, and may the world become easier to traverse for you, both mentally and physically. i send you my support.

take care, my lovely, absolutely amazing disabled friends <3

[oneshortlove]

YOU!! 🫵

i love you

don’t forget it 💙💙💙

🥺💙💜💖💜💜❤️❤️💙💗

[georgierusseli63]

You don’t have to like a driver but writing abuse and tagging them is not acceptable.

[bookshelf-dust]

hii how are you?? did you do any of yours exams yet (if yes, how did they go??)

hi, aidan!!! i was just wondering how you’re doing. and yes! i had one spanish exam last week, and my oral one yesterday. i got A’s on both of them! now i’m starting to work on one of my papers for my english classes, which is due in a week (both are 8-10 pages please help). but i think i’ve got a good start on them!

how are you? everything okay? <33

[shyrule]

I feel so empty and useless….

There’s only one way to solve this-!

Listen to my favorite song :)

- Z

And to get hugs from your bestie Shy!!! Get over here-

[talesofmetalandmagic]

Xerath the Descended

In account on what we know, and even after all the additional pain I've added, this is the only way the Xerath-Azir conflict can end.

But to complete the picture and still acknowledge Xerath as a threat, the Chalicar comes in – a weapon that, iirc, is said to be able to undo Ascension.

And when Sivir eventually strikes Xerath's glowing core, one blink before disaster, the tale reveals itself to be true.

Where once the fierce Magus Ascended stood, now a crumble of stones and chains lays.

Azir orders his retinue... wait, he's not the Emperor anymore. He orders his allies in battle to retreat, as he goes to check on the mess. His heart beats into his chest, his staff shakes between his fingers. Maybe he's dead, disposed of for ever. No more will he torment him, insult him, threaten him with pain greater than the world itself. No more will he...

...strain for freedom in the cruel system that built him.

It can't be this easy, can it?

But something shifts about in the stone, and Azir tightens his hold on the staff... and then drops it.

For from between the tatters of Xerath's stone armor, his old self peers back.

His discolored hair, who lost their tint through the hardships. His wide, tired eyes. The same gentle face who gave him the kisses and spoke the comforting words his parents would say. The skinny arms, and ribbed waist. As if not a single day had passed, crystallized through the eons.

He wears the remains of his old tunic [I know he should be naked but I don't want to humiliate Xerath with nudity] and looks as if he awoke from the most terrible nightmare of his life.

He looks at his hands of flesh, and to the hawk ascended that hovers above him.

-Xerath.- My dear, my brother, my nightmare and dream. -Speak to me, please.-

He shakes his head, raises his fists, staggers back and trips into the stones. No, no, his lips spell out, but no sound escapes them. He pulls at his hair, shakes the rocks off his body, falls upon his tattered sandals. No, no, no.

-Take my hand, brother.-

He can't hate that one, not after all their love. Not even after everything he put him through and all the losses he had him endure. The one thing his imperial parents hated of him the most – his empathy, his kindness, his desire to do good – has bloomed back with full gleam.

Xerath spells out more, no, no, no. He opens his palms, but the closest thing he produces to a lightning bolt resembles more a spark of the kind children would play with. He's not been depowered, Azir can feel it, but he's too agitated to use his magic.

And as the lightning fades from his fingers, Xerath falls on his knees and bursts into sobs.

-All of you. Leave us. We'll be safe.-

He spends his night by his side, watching as Xerath releases his emotions. He doesn't touch him or speak to him – nor does Xerath, who seems to have lost his speech – but watched, searching for any scrap left of his dear brother among the remains of the broken Magus.

After a while Xerath's crying subside; he shuffles towards Azir – and, with two last tears falling down his cheeks, he gives him his wrists. At long last, the defiant one is accepting defeat.

Azir, instead, takes his hands.

-Do you want to see the sun?-

Xerath nods, and lets himself be held and cloaked. Since he cannot stand up, Azir keeps him in his arms. Xerath holds onto himself, as he's always done.

The enemies of the Emperor deserve the most thorough of punishments, an old voice whispers from the bottom of his head.

Oh, old man. Haven't you heard? I'm not the Emperor anymore.

The dawn is golden and great, a gentle warmth that tinges the sands with all the colours of nature. Xerath watches it in silence, still hugging himself. Then he tugs at Azir's cloak and points once to his throat.

-No, brother.- Maybe he can shed the Xerath moniker, and find himself a name that's all his own. -Not anymore. There will be consequences that I no longer have the power to stop.- Azir speaks lightly, as if even sound could hurt the fragile man. -The Elected Representatives will decide what to do with you. But rest assured, brother. Wherever you will go...-

Xerath! Get me out of here! What is going on?

-...the sun will keep you company.-

Xerath remains quiet as he's taken to an isolated hall of the camp, and watches as Azir embraces and kisses all his allies, one by one. Nasus is the last to grab him, and hugs him the longest time.

-My brother is recovering,- he tells Xerath icily. -The Empire is no more. Now we too will find peace. All your cruelty was for naught.-

The glances from Sivir, Taliyah, Samira, Akshan and K'Sante are just as cold. Xerath scoffs at their presence. They're nothing, to him.

He lets himself be bathed, re-dressed in a spare tunic, a cloak and sandals, and accepts his dinner – bread, eggs and fig jam, simple enough, nothing to disprove of either – without speaking a word.

Mother. Father. I know I've done wrong. I fell off our principles into the clutches of the system that choked us. I saw no other way. I'll face any consequences as you taught me to do.

But wherever you are, relish this new world. It's all for us.

[albino-whumpee]

I have stuff to do and I could only manage to write a scara / chiscara brainrot fic. 

[gold-star-dandy]

TO EVERYONE THAT SEES THIS IM PROUD OF YOU. People don't hear that enough.

That's all

[fizzydreamz]

HAPPY VALLYTIMES FIZZOY LOVE YOU TO DEATH CHOCOLATES FOREVER WOO

🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫

AWWW YOURE SOO SWEEET!! HAPPY VALENTINES DAAAAY

YOU DESERVE SO MUCH LOVE AND HAPPINESS ❤️❤️❤️

[sadmages]

In my mind palace my tav and Astarion are playing the exact same game of 5D chess and they don't realize it yet

[bumbleboa]

cleaned up a sketch of the Romance Dawn trio

[secret-third-thing]

💋where do u draw ur fic Inspo from?

are u still going to update bitw?

Love this question!

I mostly get inspiration from other media. I find aspects I love and try to find ways to weave them into my writing. It could be theme, tone, language, etc.

Here are my Recent Sources of Inspiration

Books/Novellas/Short Stories:

The Cruel Prince - Holly Black

Bunny - Mona Awad (one of my top reads for this year!)

Going Postal - Terry Pratchett

The Empress of Salt and Fortune by  Nghi Vo (one of my fav reads of all time)

The Cask of Amontillado by Poe

Music:

Blood in the Wine by Aurora ��� 

The entire Dance Fever album by Florence and the Machine

Chronologic (Album) by Caravan Palace

Other Media:

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 (Musical)

The tale of the Erlkonig / Erlkonig's Daughter (Folk Tale)

The stories of the Catholic Saints...yes I know this is strange

Also I collect and make perfume so sometimes certain scent combinations evoke feelings/scenes that I want in my writing!!

AND NOW THE BIG QUESTION

Will I Update BITW??? YESS gosh thank you for asking about it. <3 I know the fandom has a preference for canon characters so I feel kinda insane for having that fic exist. I'm glad someone cares <3<3<3

Unfortunately, I am a perfectionist who realizes that I need to chill out, so it's been slow going. You're going to get 2-3 chapters in the next month. At least one before @erisweek2023 and another 1-2 ft Eris for Eris week.

After that's done, I'm 100% focusing on writing as much of Blood in the Wine as I can before 2024. This is partially because I want to hit the 50% mark before the third Crescent City books comes out and lives in my head rent-free.

You rock!!! Thank you for asking!!!!

[an-unraveling-unknown]

Remember to be kind to yourself, everyone. The energy it takes to merely exist is just so much, you're doing the best you can and that's worth a lot. Like a BIG lot, the biggest lot ever. That's a whole lot of lot.

[hiraeix]

to hold me like water,

or christ, hold me like a knife

[jeongtokkie]

Happy belated birthday!! I hope the day treated you absoluuuutely wonderful! 🧸

thank you mateo!! ✨💞