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creedslove · 6 months

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WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART THREE

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: you and Joel try to handle what happens after you both slept together and a revelation brings the truth about the nature of your relationship with Joel

• This is the third part of the small series: Who Knew? 💍💔 (PART ONE | PART TWO) which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), smut, oral sex (f! receiving/m!receiving) piv, dirty talking, discussions of relationships

A/N: alright besties, I really don't know where this chapter came from, I had sworn I wouldn't write continuations of this story, but here I am, with a serious case of Joel Miller brain rot and all I could think of was him! I love this story with all my heart and I don't know if this chapter is consistent or not, as it was written through several days and I poured my feelings into it, but days change and so do feelings so hehehe, also, I may or may not have been a little too horny for Joel xD, anyway, I hope you beautiful besties like the story ❤️

12.3k words

Waking up by Joel's side was something you could've sworn it would never happen, it would only become a distant memory as the years advanced after the divorce; you thought maybe you would think about it every so often, when nostalgia got the best of you, if you felt lonely at times or maybe even the moments you would spend next to your ideal future husband, a man worthy of you and your love, someone who would actually treat you exactly how you deserved it, who wouldn't run away with the first willing whore he could find and build a life with her, the life that used to be yours, and was supposed to. No, that ideal husband would never steal from you, not your happiness, your beauty or your youth, as much as you closed your eyes and tried picturing this ideal, ethereal man, you were haunted by your ex-husband. It was his smile that came to your mind when you thought of this bittersweet fantasy; his hands that gripped your body, it was him. You realized your deepest wish was to have Joel as that husband; in an alternative universe where he wasn't a jerk, instead, he would be the perfect, sweet and hard-working husband, just like he used to in the beginning, and you both would love and support each other, building up a life, a family and a home together. That was how things were supposed to go, but everyone knew the end of that story.

What nobody except you and Joel knew, was the plot-twisted epilogue of your story with Joel. Very often, you thought of your relationship as a closed book, a shitty, depressing romance novel that had its indignant ending written and done, with no space to fix things up… until your return to Austin and things simply started to happen. You refused to believe it was a new chapter or a new beginning, quite the opposite, as much as your rational said had begged and screamed not to do it, not to get close to Joel and you simply went there and did it, now it begged you to put an end to it, your mind told you the night you'd spent together was just scratching that maddening itch and nothing more. It would be easy to pretend nothing had happened: Tommy had left shortly after the cops arrived at your place and headed to his girlfriend's, according to Joel. Sarah was absolutely clueless and had no idea what was going on, especially after both you and her dad had put an end to her efforts of setting you both up. All you had to do was to convince Joel of the same: it was a mistake, it shouldn't happen again.

But then, at the same time, why was it so good to wake up next to him? In fact, next to him was an understatement, as you were all over him. Safely tucked into his arms during the night, you had switched positions several times like you often did when you slept, but Joel always kept you at arms length, refusing to let go of you no matter what. It shouldn't feel this good, but it did, and even when morning came and it was time to get up, you pretended you didn't really have to. It was your secret, no one would know nor judge you if you stayed a little longer in his bed, what was the worst that could happen, after all? So the moment you felt Joel stirring right behind you, your eyes closed shut and you relaxed your body as best as you could so he would think you were asleep. It was quite stupid, you were aware, but suddenly you felt shy to be awake in his presence?! It was odd, but you didn't know how to act exactly… were you supposed to kiss? Act as a continuation of the night before or straight up pretend nothing happened? Should you begin ‘the talk' with Joel?! You didn't even know what you were going to say, so instead, pretending to be dead, well actually, asleep, was definitely a better plan. Joel hadn't changed in all those years, you recognized and anticipated every single move he would make; it started by his soft groans the moment he fully woke up, the hesitation he probably felt the moment he eyed you there and quickly the memories of the night before filled him entirely. His morning erection was hard pressed against your ass and that was another difficult part of the equation taking place in your mind at that moment; all it would take you was wiggling your ass a little and you both could start your day in a very fun way. It was tempting, and while you baffled yourself whether to do it or not, you felt Joel again. The way he gently placed his hand on your arm, caressing it up and down, almost in a ghostly touch, a bit afraid of scaring you away; to Joel, you were like a beautiful, delicate butterfly flying into his life, making things prettier for him, but also so easily scared off. He couldn't afford to have you fly away from him once more, not that time. His hand went to your naked stomach, stroking it softly, he enjoyed the butter-like feel of your skin under his hand. After all the cuts, bruises and dirt from hard work, it was a nice change to be able to touch you. He'd had his fair share of touching beautiful women, but none of them would ever compare to you. You were naked under his touch, entirely for himself, a dream that came true at that moment and yet it seemed way too good to be real. Hands that stroked your body leaving a trail of goosebumps over your sensitive skin, as he nuzzled your shoulder, taking some strands of hair away from your neck, he let his stubble beard scratch it softly, lips connecting to your skin, in gentle and silent pecks, ones that made you bite your lips not to moan too loud, even if the goosebumps insisted on appearing, hardening your nipples and sending a wave of lust down your core. Joel had his good ear to the mattress, not hearing if you were letting out small, sexy sounds but he could see the visible signs of his caress on you. He wanted more of it, he woke up with hunger, more like starvation and it was for you, your body, your touch, your presence. He wanted you, and he would have you, not only that morning, but forever, by his side.

“I know you're awake” Joel mumbled against your skin, you could feel his teeth nibbling you, making you squeal softly and moan at his touch, you turned around facing him and raised your eyebrow, heart melting at how adorable Joel's messy bed hair was, even if it was a little grayer now, it still made him look so handsome, you couldn't hold yourself back but caress his curls gently.

“How did you know I was awake?” You questioned him and felt his teeth scraping your collarbone instead of actually answering your question. It didn't take very long for Joel to straddle you, pinning you against the mattress as he took in all of you. You were beautiful, gorgeous, you were his. At least that was what he wanted to tell himself, but it didn't matter the future, not then, because at that very moment you belonged to him and only him. You lay under Joel, your breathing accelerating as you didn't know exactly what to do or what to expect, crashing your lips together, you tugged at his hair - you loved Joel's hair so much - and felt his rough hands running even more freely through your body. One knee on each side of you, preventing you from moving as he stared down at you, your body being the most beautiful piece of art he'd ever laid eyes on. Joel Miller was a man sinking deep further into his passions and he couldn't even hide it or pretend it otherwise. His mouth went for your neck, then down your collarbone, your breasts, so beautiful and tempting as they'd always been, time he'd been so kind to you, and now he appreciated it. He kissed your breasts gently at first, getting to your nipples, they were always so hard and sensitive and it was all for him. Lips wrapping around them, his tongue flicking then gently as you tugged even harder and pulled his curls gently. The way Joel made you feel was always something else, it was so stupid to try to fight that, at least while you were pinned down by his strong, sexy body. When he finally let go of your breasts, he kept moving his tortuous path south down you. His lips were dancing over your stomach, he loved that part of you and had lost track of how many times he'd daydreamed about your figure looking round while you carried his baby Miller inside. He enjoyed picturing it, another life coming out of you, a baby that would be half you and half him, that would bring Sarah the title of ‘big sister’ and seal the happy ending of your story in which you would become Mrs.Miller once more, for real and above all for the rest of your lives. Deep down he knew that wouldn't go further than a simple fantasy, something to lose himself in before falling asleep before bed every night, and yet, it always brought him such joy, comfort and affection within his body, and at that moment, when he was kissing your womb, his hands holding you legs spread as he took his time in kissing and nibbling your lower stomach, he closed his eyes and made that irrational wish, practically, that wouldn't do, not in real life, not with your history weighing heavily on the two of you, nor with your life styles that were so different from each other's. He worked too much, Sarah was already growing into a teenager, you were inexperienced at that matter at the same time he was getting older and was certain that having to watch a baby and later on a toddler would absolutely kill his back. But if it was so impractical, it should be so sweet at the same time. It would be a lot easier for him to keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind. When Joel got closer to your core, you wanted to tell him to stop, to remind him that you didn't use protection at all and you'd been missing up the pills, warn him there was maybe some probability of you both making that situation even more of a mess than it already was, but the words died out in your mouth, the moment Joel's eyes matched yours, the pool of brown warmth making your heart skip a beat at the same time he parted your legs, giving your inner thighs each a love bite, and your breathing accelerating once more in the anticipation of what was about to happen.

“Relax, baby girl” he purred against your skin, he was so close to your core you could feel his breath fanning your sensitive area, his hands gripping the outside of your legs in a way it was clear he was claiming his power over you. You were about to be devoured by a hungry man and at that, your heart raced like no other, just as Joel reached you.

His lips ghosted over your slit, loving how shaky and sensitive you were at that moment, head shoved between your legs he took his hands into action, using them to spread your lips wide and groaned in approval of how sexy that view was. Ever since you married Joel, being intimate with your husband was something normal and natural, expected even, and whereas you weren't a prude by any means, the way Joel touched you or how filthy that mouth could be always made you go red from head to toes, especially when he simply stopped at stared at your body like that.

“Fuck baby, you still got the same pretty pussy I remember, it's the best one I've ever seen, you taste so fucking good, this sweet clit of yours had always made my mouth water” he teased as you could barely hear his voice through the adrenaline making all that blood pumped so loud into your ear. He spread your pussy lips open, his cock was already twitching to see your cunt twitching for him. The way your clit twitched in anticipation and your hole clenched at the air, how your wetness simply pooled in your entrance and it was all for Joel, because of Joel and he wasn't going to waste another minute before having you. You closed your eyes the moment he kissed your clit, kissing it as he would with your lips, all you could do was whimper and once more grip your hands into his hair pulling his head against your pussy, wanting more and more. At your touch, Joel stopped playing around, he simply sank his face into you, devouring you, licking, suckling and flicking your sensitive clit, lapping at your juices so hungrily, like a madman having his favorite meal. Joel's hands were large and his fingers were thick, so the moment he inserted two digits inside, you were already filled with him, the way he ate your pussy and fingered you, the knot forming down your lower belly, you barely had time to warn him, but it wasn't necessary, Joel knew your body well enough to know you were cumming, getting so nice and ready for him he continued, until you exploded into an intense and long orgasm, in which he tried to make it last for you as much as he could.

After your bliss, it didn't take very long for him to slip inside, now that you were all wet and stretched for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist and closed your eyes in pleasure. Your nails scratching down his broad back, his skin warm and sweaty on top of you. You wanted more of him, at that moment that was you favorite place in the world, primal, obscene, his grunts into your ear as he fucked you like he would any whore. At that moment you couldn't hold back your desires, your lustful thoughts took the best of you. If Joel asked you to be his personal cum dumpster, you would say yes. And at that realization, he came inside, once more, just like he did the night before and you loved it.

Suddenly the exhaustion took over you, your body and your thoughts and it seemed like an impossible task to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, baby girl, relax” Joel whispered against your ear once more, pulling you closer, the two of you appreciating the lovely bliss you shared after your orgasms. It felt right, even if it shouldn't.

•••

When Joel woke up that morning for the second time with you tangled in his arms, he smiled at himself, wondering how lucky a motherfucker like himself could actually be. The past hours replayed in his mind, over and over, and he still didn't believe they were true, simply because they were too good to be true in the first place, still the reminders of how true it all had been were there: the pink fading lines you left all over his skin were still apparent, your clothes scattered around the bedroom floor, the way your hair invaded his pillow and now you smell lingered all over his bedsheets. It was real, and he couldn't be happier. Watching as you exhaustively slept, he dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to leave but knowing he needed to start his day somehow. So he just planted a soft kiss on your forehead and headed to shower before going downstairs, as he needed to get breakfast ready for his girl.

You on the other hand, slept without even noticing you, being so exhausted after another steamy session with Joel; when you woke up nearly an hour later, you felt his side of the bed empty and for a split second you sighed disappointed at the impression it'd been just a dream, which only lasted until you could feel that bittersweet soreness between your legs, the mess Joel's room was in and how sticky you were with sweat and some of your juices mixed up together. You bit your lips and giggled, you thought you'd wake up full of regret, feeling guilty and upset about what happened, but turns out you felt great, perhaps, all you needed to decrease that upsetting feeling of melancholy you often grew inside was a good fuck provided by the best man you'd ever tried.

You yawned big and stretched, getting up and feeling that familiar sting between your legs, a reminder of Joel's virility and size. As you weren't sure what to do or where Joel could be, or even worse: if Sarah was home at all, you decided to be as silent as possible, your wish was just getting dressed and going downstairs, but the moment you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew you had to shower. It didn't take too long to find Joel's bathroom, you got yourself under the shower stream, groaning at how your muscles relaxed under it, the way the knots on your hair seemed to undo themselves. You chuckled while soaping your body in Joel's soap, shampooing your hair with his shampoo, smelling entirely like him, as if he'd marked you like an animal would. Perhaps you shouldn't enjoy this obscene thought as much as you did, but at that point that ship had sailed and you couldn't care less about it. Stepping outside the shower, you dried yourself and went through Joel's drawers just enough to find something comfortable to wear - one of his boxers and an old shirt.

“Joel?!” You called him at the top of the stairs, hoping you two were still alone there, as you really didn't want to risk being seen in those - lack of - clothes by Tommy or god forbid, Sarah.

“In here” Joel replied, his voice coming from the kitchen and as soon as you got downstairs you were hit by the delicious smell of coffee, and just as your stomach growled in hunger you realized you couldn't even remember your last meal.

You followed the delicious smell and smiled when you saw him flipping a bunch of pancakes, frowning softly at the image, it was so odd to see Joel being so domestic, cooking breakfast when in reality, you were the one who usually got to do all the cooking and chores, not to mention the choice of menu for the breakfast.

“You don't like pancakes!” you said surprised as you approached the stove to confirm if you weren't seeing things, being surprised by the way Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, greeting you with a peck on the lips, which you didn't expect but you couldn't complain either.

“I don't, but you do, and you deserve it, baby girl” he stroked your sides as he kept flipping pancakes with his free hand like a damn pro. You could only imagine how many times he had to step in and make his daughter pancakes until he got that skilled at that. You looked at him and as if he'd read your mind, he pecked your forehead this time

“Sarah is at her friend's which means she's only coming in the afternoon, you can hang out, maybe we can grab lunch together and then I'll drive you home, fix your door and all..” he said and stared lovingly at you “if you wanna go, otherwise you can stay here” he winked and made you chuckle.

“Joel, about us, about what happened-”

“Don't do that now, darling, let's not upset ourselves, let's have breakfast together and we can talk about it later”

You could tell Joel was postponing the subject, it was simply inevitable to talk about your future together or lack of it, due to your history, what happened between the two of you should be addressed, and even if you had been as willing as he was, it was a fact you weren't so easy to convince that perhaps being together was a good idea. However, he was also right: you could discuss things later, because at that moment you just wanted to have breakfast with Joel; damage had already been done, so what if you two continued to act the way you were? If anything, if you two parted ways, you would simply still have a nice time to cherish, to balance the ups and downs of your relationship together.

You two walked to the table, Joel placed the pancakes down and got comfortable on the chair, taken by surprise as you simply sat on his lap, instead of taking the seat next to him. You looked at him with a grin and stole a peck from his lips

“What?! You said we should have breakfast first” you giggled and started eating, at the same time his arm wrapped around your frame and he pulled you even closer. You couldn't really complain about that breakfast, it was the best you've ever had in so long, and it had nothing to do with pancakes.

•••

During daylight it was possible to see the damage the thieves left in your home; not only did they steal valuable things, but they also left a trail of mess and dirt through the floors, making you feel so angry at the shit hole they'd left your house. As soon as you got off Joel's truck, you could see cleaning, fixing and buying things again would take a long time, and even if you had the best contractor around town next to you, you still had to do chores. He placed his hands on his waist, furrowing his brows while he scanned the room, thinking of what he should do. You quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing a mop and a bucket and began cleaning up everything you had to, you reminded Joel he could make himself at home and grab drinks or snacks, since it was the least you could do after he'd been so kind to help you - and fuck you raw morning and night.

Once you'd finished your chores and showered quickly to get rid of the sweat, you went downstairs, looking for Joel. He had fixed a few things here and there, things you hadn't even noticed, but the moment you walked down the stairs, he was fixing your door.

And you were not prepared for that sight, at all.

Not with how Joel's shirt was clinging tight to his body, damp with sweat, the way his jeans looked so good around his thighs and his butt, or how he flexed his biceps unconsciously while he forced the warped wood forwards, the soft grunt he let out and how his huge hand wiped the forehead off his forehead was enough to set your core on fire. You stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the handrail and wondering when you'd become that thirsty for a man. Even when you had relationships after your divorce, you couldn't remember being that easily turned on, but at that moment, a mere display of Joel's roughness was enough to pool your wetness on your panties. He was just so mainly, so strong, something primal and intense about that man's body, he was different from any man you'd met, and the years only added to it, you were so tired of fighting your urges and feelings. Yes, Joel had been the worst husband a woman could've asked for, but just because you wanted to crazily ride on his cock, it didn't mean you would have to marry him again, definitely not. Joel wasn't a good husband, but he was a damn fine lover.

“I didn't see you there” you jumped at Joel's voice, distracted by it as he snapped you out of your lustful thoughts, nodding at him and smiling nervously. He cleared his throat “I'm guessing you want to talk, don't you?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice and you thought for a while

“Yeah, we need to talk, just… take a seat, I'll get you some water” you pointed at your couch and disappeared into the kitchen, finding Joel standing still when you returned with a fresh bottle of water for him. He hadn't moved, something inside of him telling him not to, some kind of superstition, that maybe if he sat down he would go back to the poor reality of his life, a life without you, your touch, your caress. As long as he stood up, he could always find something to do around your home and then spend a little longer by your side. He took the bottle with a nod in gratitude and took a big sip of it, at the same time it seemed you were watching an erotic movie just by the way your body reacted to the image of his neck, the way his veins pumped as he swallowed his water, showing his thirst, and to think just a few hours before he was eating your pussy with the same ferocity, made you press your thighs together. You needed that man, and you were going to have him, no matter what. To hell with needing to have a serious chat, to move on with your life and not forgetting the past, you needed him carnally. Joel finished his water and finally walked to your couch, taking a seat and spreading his legs, just like he often did to find a comfortable position. You hated when men did that, taking up space and being rude, but not Joel, the way he did it was hot, it reminded you of how big he was, his long legs, big, strong thighs, so perfect to ride, and his frowny face, you could tell he was worried, probably thinking you would just thank him for the help, tell him what happened between the two of you couldn't happen again and ask him to leave. Hiding the heartbreak under his mean face, little did he know that conversation would have to be postponed, because your mouth was about to be too busy to talk.

“You want to talk, right?” He asked, nervously running his hands through his jeans, watching as you took another step closer and nodded.

“Yeah, but we can't talk right now… I'd rather use my mouth for something else” you winked at him, falling onto his knees and began caressing his thighs over his rough jean, smirking at his surprised face, hands fiddling his pants as you opened his fly and bit your lips

“I need your cock now, Joel, I need you in my mouth”

He was taken aback by your sudden change of behavior, he'd sat down expecting to be told to leave, but now he had you on your knees begging for his cock and that was something he couldn't deny. His left hand gripped your hair, tilting your head up a little, while his right hand stroked your cheek gently, his thumb ghosted over your lips, tracing an invisible path on it as he nodded. Suddenly, roles were reversed: he wasn't waiting for you to stop and decide what he should do, instead, he was in charge and he was about to make you choke on his cock.

“So pretty, baby girl…” Joel's voice wasn't much more than a whisper “you want my cock, don't you? Just like a filthy little slut, you wanna choke on it? Want my cum down your pretty throat?”

All you could was nod at his filthy words, Joel's mouth could drive any woman inside without any physical touch, just his dirty choice of words was enough to cause a turmoil of feelings and increase the pool in your panties. He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock, already hard and held it by the base, while you licked your lips. You could see his tip glistening and closing your eyes as Joel rubbed his tip against your lips, before you opened it and took his cock into your mouth. Joel threw his head back and groaned in pleasure, he could feel his balls quivering while both hands flew to your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your hand squeezing and stroking his cock up and down where you couldn't reach his length. You'd always loved Joel's groans, the way he sounded so voracious, you clenched your thighs together, trying to give your throbbing clit some sort of relief. He guided you through his blowjob, he hadn't gotten a good one like that in years; of course he'd had his affairs, nightstands and such, but no mouth in the world compared to yours at all. He praised you, reminded you were his favorite cock slut and he wouldn't have any other than you.

You could feel by the way he clenched in your mouth his release was close, he was about to unload and you wanted to swallow all of him. So you continued, even when Joel tried to lift your head gently and warn you, you didn't need any warnings, you simply continued blowing him until he was cumming into your mouth. He reached his orgasm with another grunt, at the same time you worked your magic and swallowed every single drop of him. The way his cock pulsed inside of your mouth, how his breathing got rapid, his chest raising up and down at a fast pace, it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. Joel Miller was a strong, manly man, and you loved it.

He finally rested his eyes on you, his hell and heaven on earth, and he just needed more of you, convinced that whatever he had of you just wasn't enough. He helped you up, then pulled you to his lap, making you squeak in surprise as you landed right on top of him. You rested your forehead against his, while he pressed your body closer, never wanting to let go. He pulled you for a kiss, your lips tasting like him, sent Joel another wave of lust and need; he kissed your neck, his hands fiddling with your clothes, getting rid of them as he wanted you bare for him, your body on his, naked; he wanted to take you inside your house, not just some dirty, rushed secret locked in his room, but instead, claim you in any room of your home, if you ever wanted to break with him and decide he shouldn't be part of your life any longer, then at least he would leave his mark knowing each time you walked into any room, you would think of him, reminded of the time Joel fucked you and emptied himself inside of your tight juicy cunt.

“Come on, darling, ride my cock” his rough voice commanded you at the exact time Joel's hand pulled your shorts and your panties down. He went for your ass, massaging it, squeezing your cheeks and slapping it a couple of times, seeing it wiggle softly

“You're so fucking hot, you know that, sugar? Only you can make my cock throb the way you do” he praised you. His fingers traveled to your cunt, caressing it for the second time that day, making you spread your legs as wide as you could over him. He stroked your clit, feeling your arousal pooled in your entrance, it was intoxicating to him, he needed you every single day for the rest of his life. He gripped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and as held his cock in place and sank down onto it.

“Just like that, gorgeous, take that cock baby girl” he praised you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon riding Joel on your couch, not giving a single shit if any of the neighbors could see it through the curtains or the mere fact Joel had given you the worst heartbreak of your life; you needed him as much as he needed you, and it seemed neither of you could let go.

•••

The following days went by exactly the same way they usually did: you either worked from home or you went to the office a few times a week, you went grocery shopping, led a quiet, normal life, received Sarah's visits almost daily with the exception you were also seeing her dad without her having any idea. In fact, no one apart from you and Joel knew what was going on, and neither of you had any intention of changing that. Being completely honest, you should have broken things up with Joel the morning after, but each time you decided to do so, you simply couldn't get it done, the mere thought of standing in front of Joel and asking him to stay away from you was devastating, even if you turned to your memories of the day you found out Joel was in love with Angela and didn't want to be with you any longer couldn't help you. Of course they were as painful as if they were fresh, but at the same time it also felt like it happened between two completely different people rather than you and Joel. It was so difficult to process that Joel and your current Joel were the same, because deep down your heart claimed they weren't; the Joel you were constantly hooking up with was a hardworking, a great father, he was caring, sweet, he was passionate and he treated you as if you were the best thing he'd ever seen in the whole world. He'd become a closed man to relationships due to the guilt he felt for treating you the way he did and the abandonment he suffered from Angela. As much as that sounded twisted, the fact you were both abandoned by people you loved, also brought you closer, especially because he got to know exactly how you felt, which increased his guilt. It was terrible, but he was aware he was probably going to carry that for the rest of his life; even if he watched you smile and laugh, or if you wrapped your arms around him, underneath the joy and excitement he felt within, there would always be a tad of guilt just like a bitter taste in his mouth, reminding him of his coward attitude and how much better than him you truly were. As you had told Joel while you still hadn't crossed the line of how far your relationship should go, the problem wasn't the fact he fell in love with Angela, that could've happened to anyone, even if the sting of rejection hurt, being tricked and lied to was way worse than that. Even if it was hard to recover from the pain - if you had even recovered at all, after all, more than a decade went by without you being able to have a commitment to anyone, unable to stay in a relationship for more than other a few months, - you could only imagine Joel's experience was even worse; not only his relationship with Angela ended, but she also cut her ties with her own baby daughter. The disappointment he felt to realize his daughter would have to grow up without her mom, the paralyzing fear of being on his own to raise a baby, must've been intense. And even if some people could actually laugh at how funny life can be and swear there was still some kind of divine justice lurking around and he was simply paying for everything he'd done to you, you couldn't find the amusement in that situation, it was so sad, you could only feel pity. It seemed to you the years had turned Joel into a silent companion of pain, and not so much into the villain you'd projected onto him.

And all that was only the rational side of the story, because if you left it all to your feelings and desires, you wouldn't be able to leave his bed. Perhaps you were both feeling an overloaded amount of everything you had repressed for each other over the years; being able to externalize it was addictive, at first it was thought to be an inch you both needed to scratch, but soon enough it became obvious it was way more than that, which caused you to fall into his arms whenever you tried to make things easier for the two of you and simply let this condemned relationship go.

As you closed your laptop and watched Sarah's brows furrowing at the paper in front of her, in a mixture of focused and cranky for not being able to solve another math problem easily, she reminded you of Joel and how he would get the same way and have the same expression whenever he got frustrated with something not going according planned. You gently placed your hand on top of hers and offered her a reassuring smile, Sarah had had her nails done by you earlier, proud to see how pretty the sparkly color got on contracts with her skin. She was such a beautiful girl and you enjoyed being able to help her discover that, by introducing simple things like that, which meant the world to her, since she didn't have a mom around, it was nice doing stuff like that with someone experienced who could give her advice on school, friends and boys. She really appreciated it and if it were for Sarah, she would find a way to set you up with her dad and become one small family.

“you should have a break, you've been stuck in this question for a long time, try again later” you advised her and even if she sighed in a gruff way, - again, so Joel Miller coded - she nodded, closing her notebook and checking up her nails discreetly, which brought a warmth into your heart.

“So…” you started, hoping you would sound convincing enough and not raise any kind of suspicions from her, after all, that girl was smart “...you told me your dad is coming to pick you up, right? When he does, invite him inside so you guys can have dinner with me” you suggested, even if you and Joel had already agreed on it. You hadn't been able to see each other in a few days let alone touch each other, which was actually what you both really wanted, so all the options you got were texting like a bunch of horny teenagers. Now, sending nudes to a guy was something you would strongly disagree several months ago, but now? Each time your phone buzzed, you rushed to it, in hopes to get yet another picture of Joel's big hand holding his cock by its base, so you could lock yourself in any room and pull down your bra and panties, exactly the way he liked it. So spending some time around Joel even if you both had to play it cool was better than nothing. Sarah agreed but still felt a little puzzled at your suggestion.

“Alright… but why? You're regretting saying no when I tried to set you up?” She chuckled and you rolled your eyes, hoping you weren't so obvious. You moved to the kitchen and invited her to come along, so she could help you with dinner. You opened the fridge and had your back to Sarah, while you picked the meat and the vegetables.

“No, it's just that your dad was so nice to me, he fixed my front door after the break in, it would be a nice way to repay” you said “why do you even say that?”

“I think dad has a girlfriend or something…” she shrugged and you stopped, looking at her and trying to control the shock over your face.

“Y-yeah? And how do you know it?”

“Well, dad's different now, he seems happier, more cheerful, he's very often texting on his phone…”

“And what do you think of that?”

“It's nice, I guess” Sarah licked her lips “dad deserves to be happy, he's been lonely for a long time, ever since my mom left…” she said “but uncle Tommy says dad was sad before that, apparently there was another girl before mom, it didn't work between them or dad made her go away, I don't know why, but uncle Tommy told me once that even when he was with my mom, he couldn't forget about her an-”

“What happened then?” Only after you said it you realized you interrupted Sarah and sounded a little crazy, she didn't understand why you were so into that story after all, but seeing how eager you were to hear the ending of it, she continued.

“Well, according to uncle Tommy dad never forgot that girl, but she was way out of his league by the time my mom had left, so my dad sort of gave up dating” she shrugged “then my dad got home and interrupted uncle Tommy when he was about to tell me the full story, and he never spoke about it since” she replied with a simple shrug and pointed at the meat you were about to roast

“Hey, that's my dad's favorite!” She said amused at the coincidence of menus which you knew damn well that wasn't a coincidence, but your treat to Joel. As you kept cooking with Sarah's help, you also thought about the story she'd told you, too many things happening at once: finding out Joel had never forgotten you while his daughter was sure he had a mysterious girlfriend, which of course, was also you.

During dinner, you tried your best to forget about all of that, the way Joel and Sarah fit so well in that scene, the three of you at the table, eating and sharing how your days had been seemed like a beautiful painting of a perfect little family. A portrait of what things could've been like, or should have been like, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't deny it at all. Your gaze met Joel's and you shared a smile, silently agreeing you were spending a family time; you wondered if some day that would actually happen and if you would indeed be a family with Joel, sometimes you thought you would like it, and sometimes you would brush it off as some momentary lapse. But when he reached for your hand under the table and held it, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, your heart raced one more time and you couldn't help but allow yourself to picture a life by his and Sarah's side.

When you were all finished, Joel gladly dismissed his daughter from having to help with the dishes and the moment you two noticed she was fairly entertained with the new books you'd bought, he stole a kiss from you. It was quick but sweet and as much as it left you all giggly and blushing, it wasn't enough. Your need for Joel was overpowering, it was addictive, and you needed to touch him. Nothing would happen between the two of you while Sarah stood just a few feet away, Joel would never risk being caught that way, he respected his daughter too much, but he would kill to have his hands all over your body. He thought of asking you on a escapade with him, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, not with Sarah being a little suspicious of how friendly you were acting towards each other. He wondered if he could actually call you his girlfriend, if he could admit he was dating you, because that's what it felt like, but then, if you both came clean about the situation, it would get complicated, not only for him because of Sarah, but he was well aware you would be in a tricky situation with your family, since he knew for a fact your parents hated him, - with plenty reasons to do so - eventually, you would two would have to have the talk. Now, Joel didn't fear not being with you any longer, he knew that wouldn't happen, you were as attached to him as he was to you, but eventually, you would have to define that situation. He knew he could be cold and distant, but it was so damn hard for him to hide his passion, the way he leaned against the doorframe and watched as you carefully put the dishes away, looking every bit of sexy as you could be, not that young and naive little wife he kept at home before he screwed things up, but instead, the powerful, beautiful woman you grew to be.

Sarah was incredibly smart, but she was also naive at some level, which caused her to be oblivious to the fact you called Joel into the backyard at some point, asking him to check something up you wanted it fixed, only to pull him closer and kiss him deeply, gripping his body, wanting him to engulf you like he always did, your nails gently scratching down his back while his lips ravished yours.

“I want to spend the night with you so bad, baby girl” he whispered against your lips “you're so good to me, you treat Sarah like a princess, you cooked us my favorite meal, all I want is to show my gratitude by getting lost between these beautiful thighs” he teased and for a split second you felt like telling him to stay the night, to come clean and tell Sarah you were dating, dating as if you two were pretty much a decade younger and so eager to be in each other's arms, but it couldn't happen that way, not like that, and not at that moment. You nibbled his bottom lip a couple of times before letting go, your body tingled for him, aching for his touch and as he told you he would call Sarah to go home, you felt unannounced tears flooding your eyes for no reason. Why did things have to be so complicated, why Joel couldn't have been this good from the beginning? You could've lived more than a decade of happiness together, if it weren't for that.

As they said their goodbyes, you watched Joel's truck disappear from your eyesight, a pang in your chest insisting on saying it was your family leaving while you played too hard to get.

•••

You had never seen Sarah smile that wide as she did while you two walked around the mall; side by side, a bunch of bags in hands as you spent such a simple, and yet incredible quality time together. For her, it was like hanging out with the mom she never had, and you felt as if you were shopping around for the daughter you could never conceive. It didn't matter where you were going, which stores you were checking and not even exactly what you were buying, just the fact you were doing that together felt incredibly special. It all began when Sarah complained about not having what to wear to the Harry Styles concert in the upcoming week; after months of begging her dad and uncle Tommy, she was given a ticket to the presentation she'd been dreaming of watching, under the condition she wasn't going to drag her dad along. Joel was an amazing dad, and he would do almost about anything for her, but standing in line for hours and then having to watch that guy performing while an entire stadium of hysterical teenage girls would be screaming at the top of their lungs which would probably cause Joel to go deaf in his good ear was a hard pass, that he wouldn't do. In fact, he would. The moment she gave him her puppy eyes and asked him to take her, he would do it, even if he tried tricking himself, however, luck seemed to be standing by his side, as Tommy happened to start dating this chick who was also obsessed with that Harry guy and when she got herself and Tommy a ticket, Sarah was all set. And so was Joel, because without anyone knowing, he managed to get a free night with you. And in the blink of an eye, you and Joel seemed way more excited for the Harry Styles concert than Sarah.

So when she complained she didn't actually have anything nice to wear, you thought of doing that for her, it would be fun, a change of just staying inside reading books, you could spend some girl time together and while you were out with her, you could really watch Sarah, the way she behaved, how she talked and acted, it reminded you so much of Joel, you wondered if she'd taken anything from Angela at all, deep inside, you wish she didn't, even if it was a petty thing to do. The idea of Sarah being similar only to her dad was nothing but comforting and sweet to you, it was the easiest way to see the evolution he went through, unfortunately, he had to learn how to be a better person through the pain, but he had succeeded and that was what it really mattered. You didn't really care if you'd spent a lot on Sarah, you had the money after all, and she deserved it. She was happy, talking excitedly about several things, to the point she barely noticed when Joel walked towards the two of you. He had his jacket on, hair a little messy from the wind as he grinned shyly at the sight of you, his heart skipping a beat as it felt to him he was meeting his daughter and wife at the mall.

Sarah frowned, amused to see her dad, walking towards him, she hugged him, which surprised Joel a little, not expecting that gesture at that very moment.

“What are you doing here, dad?” She asked curiously as Joel greeted you by giving you a peck on the cheek, trying so hard not to seem he was practically drooling over you.

“Tommy needed to buy his girlfriend whatever and asked me for a ride, so while he disappeared into the crowd I was trying to find him” he explained and stared at you “you girls are having fun, I see?” He raised his eyebrow and Sarah eagerly nodded, lifting her bags a little and showing him everything you'd bought her. He was so thankful for everything you were doing for his daughter, especially because he was sure you did it out of kindness and the fact you care about her. You watched their interaction and bit your lips in anticipation, you felt a sudden urge to kiss Joel in front of everyone and walk around the mall holding hands with him, you had never discussed that before, but the thought of it made your heart race. Sarah exchanged a few words with her dad before her eyes went wide as she spotted one of her best friends a couple of stores ahead and smiled big

“Dad, can I go show Nat the things I got? Please?! I'll be right back!” She asked with her sweet eyes and Joel agreed, telling her you two would be around as he intended to keep you company. As you walked towards another store with Joel following you, Sarah soon got entertained with her friend in an ice cream booth nearby. You both chuckled at the scene and he quickly placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Is Tommy really shopping around for his girlfriend or were you just stalking us?” You teased Joel, entering the lingerie store, earning a gasp from him before he could actually answer your question.

“Don't even think about it, Miller, I'm here just to buy some sports bra to go to the gym and nothing more” you added but the mischievous look in his eyes was extremely well-known.

“That's a shame, because this one would look so good on you” he pointed at a lilac lacey pair of underwear, his mouth watering at how beautiful you would certainly get in it, and how stripping you out of all that lace would feel like unwrapping a Christmas gift. You frowned at him, reminding him you were just there to buy a couple of things and leave, in fact, you shouldn't have even let Joel get inside the store with you, it wouldn't be appropriate and how would he explain to Sarah what the hell he was doing there in the first place. Joel, on the other hand, was pretty much entertained by all the beautiful colors and shapes the tiny pieces of fabric came with; he could picture every inch of your body in them, trying to guess which ones would look better. He knew all of them would be just perfect, but he was a guy who was simply drawn to the traditional good old red lacey; it was gorgeous, and it would be a nice gift for the two of you. As he looked around to find you and show you what he'd decided to treat you to, you were nowhere to be seen; the sales clerk already busy with the new customers walking into the store, he decided to wander after you. He was thankful no one seemed to mind nor notice him there, too worried to be seen as a creep, but determined to find you nonetheless; as he got to the fitting room area, he quickly called your name.

“What now, Joel?!” You immediately replied from the one in the corner, slightly annoyed at the fact he'd followed you there, sometimes Joel was a little like a stray puppy, coming after you with those big sad brown eyes, and even if you wanted to shop for freaking sports bras on your own, you couldn't help but enjoy the fact he was just so needy of you.

When Joel opened the door and got inside, you even tried to argue and ask him what the heck he was doing there, but instead, he smirked, gripping your sides and kissing you as a way to keep you silent. You wanted to push him away and tell him to fuck off, but the rushing adrenaline you felt through your veins made you feel alive, and as always, Joel's touch set you on fire. He broke the kiss dragging his lips over to your neck and then your collarbone, his hands climbing up your sides and going to your breasts, squeezing them softly

“This sports bra ain't bad, but I'd say a work of art like your body should have more lace, or glitter or whatever shit you like” he said in a grunt and lowered your top, even against your protests that weren't much more than just some whimpers that couldn't convince you, let alone Joel. You could feel his beard scratching down your chest and going straight to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipples as he suckled on it gently at first, flicking it with his tongue before moving to your other breast and working the same magic. Your heart raced to the point you could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the fact you both could be caught at any moment and kicked out of the store, or even worse: be arrested for public indecency, added a hint of fear to the traditional lust you had for Joel; that man would be the dead of you, that much you were sure of.

“We can't Joel…” you mumbled against his curls, his head on your chest as his fingers found their way down your belly, getting so close to your sweet spot, he was so needy of you, wanting all of you to the point it felt he would go crazy. His digits toyed with the hem of your panties, while you pulled his curls a little, making him groan.

“Sorry honey” you whispered and kissed this temple, which made him smile. Joel was about to finger you in a fitting room in the middle of a store and you were so sweet to him, it made his heart ache a little, at the realization he definitely didn't deserve you. He kissed you once more and nibbled your lower lips the moment his fingers reached your core, spreading your lips apart and finding your needy clit, already so hard and wet, just for him to enjoy. He wasn't going to tease you, you both didn't have time for it, so instead, he played with your wetness, before shoving his fingers inside of you, stretching you up the way you both knew and enjoyed it, he thumbed with your clit before focusing all his ministrations into your tight cunt, feeling your muscles squeezing and clenching around him. He'd kill to have his cock inside of you instead of his fingers, but that would have to wait. He felt your teeth on his shoulder, while your pussy gushed at the same time you came for him. He felt your body going limp, sustaining your weight with his free hand

“Taste yourself, princess” he whispered against your ear and held his fingers up, waiting for you to wrap your devilish lips around them and lick them clean. Joel felt the urge to take you right there and then, but he was a patient man and knew things would have to wait. He kissed your lips goodbye and exited the fitting room after making sure no one was around to see him.

The sales clerk was a little confused when she saw Joel walking towards the register with a blood red pair of lacey lingerie, she couldn't remember seeing him walk into the store and let alone hang around, but the work policy forced her to smile at him and be helpful, especially when he got his wallet out and extended his credit card.

“I'd like you to gift wrap this and give it to the beautiful lady who's trying sports bra in the fitting room, tell her it's my treat” he winked at the woman, aware he could use his charms in his own favor. She agreed to his request and he left the store just like any other ordinary customer, at the same time you received the package as a present the moment you tried paying for your stuff.

•••

After waiting what it seemed like forever, the Harry Styles concert was about to happen, which caused Joel to have a break from his brother, his girlfriend Maria and Sarah, who insisted they all spend hours waiting in line. His heart was full of joy and pride to see how happy his precious daughter was, the way she could barely sleep at night and that guy was the only thing she ever talked about. It was amusing to him, even if he ran out of patience from time to time, it was amazing to see his little girl looking like a beautiful young woman in her new outfit bursting with happiness. Joel couldn't also complain about the fact he managed to enjoy a full day by himself and get ready to receive you through the night. He'd gone grocery shopping, buying all the kinds of treats he knew you loved - or used to, as people could often change their personal taste over the years, but instead of seeing that with sadness, he felt glad to be able to learn something new about the woman he was madly in love with. He was going to go for some beer, but Joel thought again and decided to pick some wine, he just thought you were more of a wine kind of woman, more elegant than just cheap beer.

What you both hadn't counted on, was how hot the weather was, even if the sun had set down, it was still uncomfortable to remain inside, which made Joel suggest you both should move your date night to the swimming pool. At first you thought he was joking, but the stern look on his face told you he was being completely serious, and you thought it was a nice change. The way Joel took the bottle of wine, the glasses and simply began undressing without a word made you puzzled, until he turned around and told you to take off your clothes as well.

One skinny-dipping adventure and a quicky in his pool later, you both took sips of your wine, as you pressed yourself against him; Joel's arms were tight around your body as you rested your head on his chest, kissing it gently, and listening to his heartbeats, it was scary how out of the sudden, his arms became your favorite place in the world. You were far too deep into this story, and there was no way out without getting hurt, but that wasn't the time to think of that, you didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts, you wanted to spend your time with Joel and get lost into him, just as he was into you.

“Sarah told me you have a girlfriend” you blurted out, making Joel raise his eyebrow at you and looking down at you

“What?!”

“Well, she said you seemed happier lately, always texting someone, sneaking out here and there…” you chuckled “I wonder who that bitch is” Joel laughed at your comment, his hand sliding down your back and resting on your ass, squeezing it and then pecking your lips.

“She ain't no bitch, I can assure you that much” he said gently and nuzzled your neck “she's gorgeous, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, well, after Sarah, of course, but still, and she was so kind to forgive me after everything I've done” his lips were back on your cheek and then on your lips “and I love her very much”

For a moment your whole world stopped. Joel loved you. He admitted it out loud, it wasn't just a matter of simple assumptions, but rather a concrete, explicit feeling. You opened your mouth looking at him hesitantly, what exactly should you say? What could you tell Joel? Did you love him back? If so, were you ready to admit it and face the consequences of getting back together with the man who caused the biggest emotional trauma of your life. Joel took his hands off your body and looked at you with a hint of disappointment, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was disappointed, he thought you shared the same feeling as he did, so he sighed and nodded.

“It's fine, you don't have to say it back…” he cleared his throat and swam to the ladder of the pool “it's getting a little chilly, I think we should get inside”

•••

A few days later, your conversation with Joel simply wouldn't leave your mind; you were in love with him, it was impossible for anyone not to notice, him included, and yet, you didn't understand why it was so hard for you to simply admit it. Perhaps, if you did it, then it would become real, and your relationship with him would stop being a fun, little secret shared by the two of you, but rather a concrete relationship between two adults, where you'd eventually have to come clean and open up to family, friends, you would celebrate birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and face several, typical questions coming from all sides, wondering if you would both remarry or have kids. It was overwhelming, but not as bad as how you were feeling at that moment. You felt guilty and embarrassed, and the paranoid side of you was convinced Joel had been avoiding you for the past week, whereas Sarah was at your place nearly everyday, still talking about Harry Styles and showing you countless pictures of the concert, he wouldn't text much nor insist to see you, even when you suggested him to sneak out late at night and go to yours, he politely declined by saying Tommy and him got a new big client and work was rushed and soul crushing. Of course he could be telling you the truth, he did sound exhausted on the phone and Sarah had mentioned Joel and Tommy had been arriving late most days, both of them covered in sweat and in such a bad mood due to the unbelievable amount of work they were having. Yet, what should make you feel calm and at ease, didn't help one bit, it was uncomfortable and depressing not having Joel around, you missed him, his touch, his body but mostly his presence. He'd been a constant in your life for the past months, and it was only taking a week for you to feel abandoned. It wasn't fair to you, and yet, it wasn't fair to him either, not when he declared his love for you and you couldn't even say it back. You placed your living room, not sure whether you should drive to his home or not, in fact, you knew you shouldn't, but you wanted to, because that particular day, not even Sarah showed up, and it made you sad. You were so attached to the little family destiny set apart for you, simply a day or two away from them was enough to cause a large wound in your heart. You looked around, looking for an excuse to show up at the Miller's household; until your eyes widened and you grinned to see Sarah's history book lying around your coffee table. It was the perfect excuse to go and see them! Perhaps you could even end up having dinner with them, and then make up an excuse about a flat tire or whatever, have Joel giving you a ride home and end up being railed by him in the back of his truck. The longing for Joel was increasing and all you wanted was to make things right by explaining him you did have feelings for him and you needed some time, but you were willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him, because you wanted to and it was important for you that he saw how appreciated he was by you.

On your way to Joel's, you stopped at a bakery you knew Sarah loved, thinking of all the delicious treats you could take so you'd keep your family spoiled, at least a little. You smiled at yourself the moment you chose a couple of cupcakes, cookies and the chicken pie Joel loved, thinking of how you were already addressing them as your family. The truth is that they were indeed your family, the connection you three had was strong, the bond you created with Sarah without even knowing for a fact who she was and later on all that passion for Joel surfacing after spending a decade buried deep inside of you. It was a waste of time fighting that, and you wanted to get to them as soon as possible, you'd been alone far too long, it was about time to yourself have one good thing, to break free and admit how happy you were next to the Millers. You loved them just as they loved you, and it made no sense to fight that feeling and pretend it didn't exist.

The ride wasn't long, there was hardly any traffic in the suburbs, most families were already inside, having dinner together as the sun had set and the street lights were all lit up, as you parked your car, you saw Joel's truck in the driveway and felt your chest tightening in anxiety and fear; if he was already home why didn't he call or text you? Maybe he was indeed avoiding you?! Joel wouldn't make the same mistake twice and push you away, would he? You shook your head, you had faith in him, faith you both had matured and were able to handle things by talking and being honest with each other; you licked your lips and sighed, knowing that whatever was going on could be solved by the two of you as two functional adults, besides, there were a bunch of explanations to why he hadn't talked to you that day yet, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and let your paranoia win once more. You got out of the car with the bag full of treats and walked to the front door, you knocked a couple of times and waited for an answer but nobody came. It was odd, as you could hear Joel's and Sarah's voices coming from inside, and even if you couldn't tell what they were saying your heart raced, your gut feeling telling you something was up and you couldn't wait any longer, silently opening the door and getting inside. You placed the bag of food down the coffee table as you could clearly hear what they were saying. It seemed Joel and Sarah were arguing, which was extremely odd, since you had never seen them have any kind of disagreement, they just had a real nice and healthy father and daughter relationship in which they both listened to each other and acted with respect. As you approached, you heard Sarah's cries and you were taken by worry, perhaps someone had died? You couldn't wait any longer, you rushed and got into the kitchen, confused at first at what had happened between them, Joel looked so overwhelmed, his face was red and he desperately tried to make a point while telling Sarah a bunch of information she could barely cope with, as she cried in disappointment and shook her head, not believing anything her dad was saying. Her heart was shattered with disappointment and sadness, she couldn't believe her dad, her hero, the man she loved and admired the most in her life had done such a thing.

On the kitchen table, a photograph taken on your wedding day was lying around. A younger version of yourself hugged a much younger Joel as you both stood in front of the courthouse, smiling widely at the camera. There was no way to deny it nor hide it. Sarah had found out about your previous connection god knows how and Joel seemed desperate as he wanted to explain himself to his daughter, he couldn't bear having her so disappointed in him like that, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“Sarah…” you whispered and tried touching her cheek, wanting to caress it gently and assure her everything was fine now, that what had happened was in the past and that her dad was still the best father a girl could ever wish for. But Sarah moved her face away from your touch, her eyes were glistening with tears as she seemed so heartbroken

“You both lied to me! Why did you lie?” She asked and you looked at Joel wanting to have some kind of support in order to reply to her question.

“Sarah, we are both sorry, but your dad and I have made up after what happened, I know it's a lot to take now but don't be upset please” you asked her, Joel nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist in order to show her things were fine between the two of you. He promised to talk to her and explain everything to her in detail, but she was just so upset, feeling betrayed by the person she admired and loved the most in the whole world. You knew there was nothing you both could do at that moment, not with Sarah being so nervous and upset, instead, you asked Joel to call Tommy and suggested that he took her out for ice cream or something, maybe have a little chat with his niece while you and Joel could sit down and figure the best way to tell her everything. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for his younger brother to arrive, Sarah had drunk some water and washed her face, leaving with Tommy as you sat next to Joel. You took his hand and caressed it, while he refused to look you in the eye, the guilt and shame once more eating him alive, and now it had become even worse, as his precious little Sarah had found out the truth about him in the worst way possible. All she needed was an old picture for her school project and going through Joel's old memory box should be enough, and then she came across the pictures of his wedding day. Not to her mom, but to you instead, and then it all made sense: why you were never willing to be around her dad, or how you decided to keep yourself away from any kind of relationship. Because the asshole you told her you'd married once, was simply her father. The good old Joel Miller, the man who had to raise his baby daughter on his own after she left him, and then, Sarah had found out her dad had been really bad to someone so dearly to her. You, you could've been married to her dad, you could've been her mom, she could've had a family all along.

You looked at Joel and wiped a single tear that rolled down his cheek, even if he tried to hide it.

“What are we doing now, Joel?”

“I don't know…”

____

A/N: what a ride, right besties? Remember, feedback is life ❤️

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal one shot #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller one shot #joel miller story #pedro pascal story

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hairstevington · 1 year

Text

Stranger Therapy

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Based on this text post, Steve and Eddie match on Tinder and decide to go to couple's counseling on a first date to see how long it takes the therapist (Murray) to figure them out. Link to Ao3

Word Count: 3K, check out part 2 part 3 part 4 and epilogue!

Warnings: Nothing too serious, Steve/Eddie went to high school together but don't know each other, modern day AU, aged up, brief Robin cameo, Matchmaker Murray, and my fav tag of all - gay scheming!

A/N: I'm a counselor in training currently but I don't specialize in couple's counseling so this may or may not be accurate? Idk man it's just fun and silly I love our stupid boys sm. Original post by @hxneyfarms

It’s a match!

“Robin, it worked!” Steve shouted from the couch. She ran from the kitchen and joined him, peering over to stare at his screen.

“I told you it would! It’s funny!” she insisted. Steve rolled his eyes and anxiously pulled up the profile of his new match.

“Oh, shit,” Steve said. “I remember swiping right on this guy. Didn’t think I had a shot.” He looked through the pictures. They were all candids, slightly blurry, or shots of him with his friends, but due to his distinguished look it was easy to pick him out even in a crowd.

“Show me his bio,” Robin ordered. Steve closed out the pictures and scrolled until the bio was in full view.

Eddie, 25. Shit at bios.

“Well that’s kind of boring,” Steve said.

“Yeah. You think he’s a bot?” Robin asked.

“Or a catfish, maybe,” Steve mused. “Either way, I still think I should take your joke down. I don’t talk like that in real life, and people might get confused.”

Robin had convinced him earlier to change his bio and replace it with - let’s go to couple’s counseling and see how long it takes the therapist to realize we don’t know each other. Steve had been a little tipsy when he agreed, and he assumed nothing would come of it. But then, Eddie matched with him.

“You’re thinking way too hard about this, Dingus,” Robin replied. “People write weird shit in their Tinder bios all the time.”

“Eddie didn’t,” Steve countered.

“Yeah, but look at him,” Robin responded. “He’s distinctive. It’s attention-grabbing in itself.”

“And I’m not?” Steve asked. Robin chuckled.

“You’re the kind of pretty where if you don’t have something witty in the bio, people will think you’re just some ignorant surface-level airhead who’s never worked a day in his life, and that’s not cute.”

“Okay, ouch,” Steve said.

“It’s a compliment!” she insisted. “Like, you need to show that you’re witty and funny and able to poke fun at yourself, otherwise you’re going to attract the wrong kind of people.”

“And this guy’s the right kind, huh?” Steve opened one of the pictures back up - one where Eddie was passed out on the couch with a beer still in his hand. As they looked at the screen, a notification popped up. Eddie sent you a message.

“Let’s find out,” Robin said.

Eddie: If your bio is serious, I’m in

Steve: Wait, really?

Eddie: Yeah xD sounds fun

Eddie: You got a therapist in mind?

Steve: Honestly didn’t think I’d get this far

Eddie: Boo.

Eddie: You’re lucky I know just the guy

Steve: Okay…

Steve: So how do we do this?

Eddie: Dude, it was YOUR idea

Steve: Ok but I’ve never done it before!

Eddie: Steve! I’m your first? <3

Steve: Yeah, yeah. I’ve never pranked a therapist before.

Eddie: I hope you’re either rich or have really good insurance. Otherwise this is gonna be an expensive first date.

Steve: I got it covered.

Eddie: I figured you did. I’ll call the guy in the morning and get back to you with the appointment time.

Steve: Okay. How’s your night going by the way?

Eddie: Nope!

Eddie: That’s not part of the deal, Steve. We go into this blind or not at all.

Steve: This is insane.

Eddie: Once again, your idea. I’m excited. Are you excited?

Steve: Thrilled.

Steve: I’m still concerned about how you know the perfect guy for this.

Eddie: 😛

Eddie: Don’t worry about it.

“I don’t even think he’s serious,” Steve said after he recounted the entire interaction to Robin.

“I don’t know, Steve. Sounds serious to me.”

“What if he’s like - not right in the head?” Steve wondered, reading the interaction over and over again. “Like, who is this therapist and why does he know him? Is he actually going to make an appointment? What if this whole thing crashes and burns?”

“I honestly think he plans on it crashing and burning,” Robin replied. “And then after, the both of you either hit it off and laugh about it forever, or you have an amazing failed date story to tell your friends until the end of time.”

“That’s…actually genius.”

“I know.”

Steve read the messages one last time, focusing on the bits where Eddie was mildly flirtatious. Steve! I’m your first? He could tell if Eddie was being condescending, or what vibe he was going to bring to this absolute insane first date. But, as Robin said, it would be a story no matter what.

He tried to focus on that and not the anxiety that started brewing in his veins.

The appointment was set for two weeks later. Eddie still refused to talk to Steve other than for details on where to go and at what time, so for the whole fourteen days, Steve assumed he was being pranked right back. Eddie was messing with him, or he’d cancel, or Dr. Bauman didn’t actually exist, or he’d be murdered, or, or, or -

None of that happened. Instead, on a Tuesday afternoon, Steve pulled up to an office building about fifteen minutes from his apartment. He’d passed by it several times and never once wondered what went on inside.

Apparently, really weird first dates.

They had decided to meet up in the parking lot and walk in together. The whole thing was crazy, but having one of them pick the other up so they could drive in together was way over what was needed to commit to the bit.

Steve got there first. They needed to be fifteen minutes early to fill out paperwork. It was twenty minutes prior to their appointment time.

This was weird. It felt a lot different than all the times he’d met someone for coffee. In another world, that’s how he and Eddie would have met. But no. He had to agree to this stupid thing, and now he was too far into it to back out. Jesus Christ.

Eddie’s car pulled in a few spaces down. Steve knew it was him from the hair alone - unmistakable. He got out of his car and walked towards his date, his palms sweaty. Eddie got out of his car a moment later, eyeing Steve as he approached him and smirking.

“What gave me away?” Eddie asked.

“You think I wouldn’t recognize my boyfriend?” Steve snapped back, pleased at the way he was able to take Eddie off guard.

“Touche. Well, come on, then. Let’s do this.”

Before they knew it, they were sitting in a cramped waiting room, alone, filling out paperwork. It consisted of insurance information first, followed by names and some quick background questions about the “couple.” Steve began filling it out, thankful that he was still on his dad’s fancy rich-person insurance. It covered basically everything, even fucked-up couples fraud with Dr. Bauman.

“Are you not worried I’m gonna, like, steal your information or something?” Eddie asked as Steve wrote down his policy number.

“I mean…should I be?” Steve responded.

“No,” Eddie answered with a shrug. “I gotta say, though, you’re way more trusting than I am. It’s ballsy. I like it.”

“Uhh…” Steve was trying to concentrate on the paperwork, but the compliment was throwing him off. “Thank you, I think.” He continued filling out the paperwork.

“You’re from Hawkins?” he asked. Steve nodded, absentmindedly. “I’m from Hawkins.” This caught Steve’s attention.

“No shit.”

“Yeah, seriously.”

“Small world,” Steve replied before turning his attention back to the form.

“You have a cute middle name,” Eddie teased.

“Shut up,” Steve responded. He wanted to find Eddie’s pestering annoying, but instead he found himself smirking, even giggling a little bit. This whole thing was so ridiculous. He shoved the clipboard onto Eddie’s lap. “Your turn, lover.”

“Euch,” Eddie groaned. “That is not one of our pet names, no way.”

“Noted,” Steve chuckled. He was…kind of enjoying this way more than he expected, as weird as it was. He’d grown accustomed to a lot of even stranger things in his life, so this didn’t feel as shocking as he’d initially thought.

“Don’t look,” Eddie said as he covered the paper.

“What? Why not?” Steve asked, confused.

“Because not all of us are as blindly trusting, Steven,” Eddie responded. Steve shook his head and looked away.

“Good thing we’re in therapy to work that shit out, Edward Munson.”

“You looked!” Eddie exclaimed.

“It was right in front of me!” Steve pointed out.

“Fair enough,” Eddie sighed. “Okay, now we gotta put down a reason for doing this.”

Fast forward ten minutes, Eddie and Steve were seated next to each other on a relatively small but cozy burnt orange couch. The color was ugly, but the seats were comfortable. Steve noticed the cushions had a natural dip that kept inching him closer to the person sitting on the opposite side. He figured this was certainly intentional.

The doctor sat in front of them, reviewing the papers the pair had just filled out.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Bauman, and one day I may let you call me Murray,” he began, his eyes fixed on the papers in front of him. “I see here on your sheet that you’ve been feeling distant from each other, and that you’re looking to feel more connected, right? Can you tell me more about that?”

“We’re just launching right into it, huh?” Eddie asked.

“Well, we are on a time crunch here. Your decision how you spend it,” Dr. Bauman answered.

The man was immediately intimidating.

“Ooookay,” Steve said, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess it just feels like - like he and I don’t even know each other anymore.” Eddie stifled a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to make it seem like he was maybe getting emotional or perhaps trying not to sneeze.

“I see,” Dr. Bauman said, eyeing them both suspiciously. “Let’s begin with how you two met and we’ll go from there, okay?”

“We were high school sweethearts,” Eddie replied with a grin.

“Wow,” Dr. Bauman commented. “Well, it’s common for a lot of development to happen from then to now. How did you two get together?” Eddie looked to Steve, as if to say, you’re up.

“It just kinda…happened, I guess,” Steve began. “We were assigned as partners for a project and really clicked.”

“Yeah, and then we snuck around for a while. Sneaking kisses in janitor's closets and empty classrooms, you know the drill.” Steve tried not to blush at the thought of sneaking around with high school Eddie. If they were both from Hawkins, did they actually go to high school together?

“Snuck around for the thrill?” Dr. Bauman asked.

“No,” Steve responded. “I wasn’t out yet.” Eddie looked at him curiously, as if he wasn’t expecting Steve to say something so serious. He wondered if it was actually true.

“Well, that and -” Eddie added. “- he was a popular jock and I was kind of a freak.” This time, Steve looked at Eddie curiously. Steve was a popular jock. Eddie could have assumed that, or made a lucky guess, but something told him that wasn’t the case.

Eddie Munson. Munson.

Oh.

Oh!

It took Steve a minute to recover from that information. They did in fact go to school together, they just had never interacted. Eddie obviously remembered, and he obviously knew that Steve didn’t. So what was the goal here? Was Steve being punked or something just so Eddie could get free therapy?

“Steve, you look a little pale there,” Dr. Bauman noticed. “Did that trigger something?”

“Yeah -” Steve croaked, now unable to look at Eddie. If he had, he would have noticed Eddie didn’t look as smug as Steve assumed he was. “Yeah, I just don’t think about high school that much anymore.”

“Why not?” the doctor asked.

“Because, I - I’ve changed so much since then. I’m not that guy anymore, and I don’t want to be that guy.”

“Ah, I see,” he hummed. “So, Eddie fell for someone who no longer exists. I think I’m understanding the problem here. Eddie, do you feel that you’ve changed?”

Damn. This guy’s kinda good.

“Uhhh -” Eddie began. Neither of them expected this to get so serious so quickly. It didn’t even feel like it was about their imagined relationship anymore. “N-no, I don’t think I have.”

“And Steve, do you think Eddie has changed?”

Steve thought about the limited memories he had of Eddie in high school. Cocky, slightly unhinged, just as he was now. But there was something different, he just couldn’t really pinpoint what. Maybe if he’d talked to Eddie for longer than like ten minutes total in his life, he’d have a better idea.

Then, he realized the point of this wasn’t to be serious. It was to make shit up. Steve pivoted back to the original plan.

“Yeah, I mean -” He shifted in his seat, finding himself now thigh to thigh with Eddie, despite not meaning to be. “He’s, uh - it just feels like we don’t have anything in common anymore?” It was something he’d heard lots of couples say.

“Do you want to make this work?” Dr. Bauman asked.

“Why else would we be here?” Eddie answered. Dr. Bauman narrowed his eyes.

“You tell me.”

Eddie and Steve were kind of not good at this. Their story was based in truth and not very exciting. They both seemed to realize this at the same time.

“Steve slept with the dogwalker,” Eddie proclaimed. Steve scoffed, half-amused, half-offended.

“Yeah, well you sold drugs to my mom!” he shot back. The two guys looked at each other, pretending to look angry while simultaneously wanting to laugh.

“Woooah, there,” Dr. Bauman responded. “Now we’re getting somewhere. Do we want to begin with Steve’s infidelity or Eddie’s illegal activity?”

“That’s not gonna, like, go on record or anything, right?” Steve asked, suddenly anxious. “Like, the cops aren’t gonna show up at Eddie’s door?”

“Our door, babe,” Eddie clarified, not the least bit nervous.

“Depends on how long ago this happened, I suppose,” Dr. Bauman answered.

“Long time ago,” Eddie said.

“Are you still currently dealing?”

“No, I don’t even do drugs anymore. Well, like, except pot - but that’s legal now so it doesn’t really count, I think.”

“Dude,” Steve whispered.

“You brought it up,” Eddie replied just as softly.

“Right,” Dr. Bauman responded, taking it all in. “No report needed, then. Let’s move onto the dogwalker.”

They continued to add to their lore as the appointment went on. At one point, Eddie even faked tears. His acting was…decent enough to avoid suspicion, thankfully. When the clock hit 1:45, their time was up, and they’d successfully managed to fool Dr. Bauman. Mission accomplished, date over. Right?

“Well, thank you so much, Dr. Bauman,” Eddie said. “I think you’ve really helped us out today.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Steve said, smiling. “We feel so much better.”

“Now hold on a minute,” Dr. Bauman said with his hands up. “There’s still a lot of work to be done, in my professional opinion.”

“There is?” Eddie asked, confused.

“Oh, definitely. Most couples go to a minimum of four sessions, and that’s still a low average. Plus, this was only intake. I mean, unless you guys weren’t happy with the counseling I gave you today…”

It felt like a challenge, and Eddie loved challenges. Meanwhile, Steve was too awkward to come clean or tell the doctor they weren’t interested.

They made another appointment.

“Well, that went pretty well, I think,” Eddie said as they left the building.

“You knew me already?” Steve asked once they were a safe enough distance from the office and Dr. Bauman. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I just knew your name and face, man. And, like, your vibe,” Eddie answered. “Back in high school, anyway.”

“You should have told me,” Steve said.

“You should have remembered,” Eddie shot back. “Whatever, it was fun. Right?”

“Eddie, I have no idea what that was,” Steve replied. “We have to cancel that appointment.”

“Why? You don’t want to see me again?” Eddie grinned. Steve rolled his eyes.

“No, I - I mean, I don’t want to waste his time. That spot should go to other couples who need it. Meanwhile, we could go get coffee like normal adults.”

“I dunno,” Eddie said, kicking a pebble in the road as they walked. “I kinda liked it. You can’t tell me you didn’t.”

It was true. Steve couldn’t say that he didn’t.

“Doesn’t matter.” Steve unlocked his car and made his way to the door. “We’re canceling.”

“He’s the one that wanted to see us again, Steve,” Eddie reminded him.

“Yeah, because he thought we were an actual couple.” Steve was getting frustrated at Eddie’s antics, and the way he refused to back down. “I don’t know if this is gonna work, man. This has been, uh - well, it’s been weird, but I think -”

“We have to go, otherwise you’ll be charged a cancellation fee,” Eddie blurted out. It was a lie, a bold-faced lie, and yet -

“So, I’ll pay the fee. Can’t be more than the cost of a full session,” Steve figured.

“Ugh!” Eddie groaned in frustration. “Okay, fine. Look - I’m annoying as hell, I’m a mess, I’m broke, and I could never afford someone like Dr. Bauman. I don’t know about you, but some of the things he said actually made me think and I kind of want to ask him about, like, real shit.”

Steve stared at him blankly for a minute.

“You - you want me to keep going to fake couple’s counseling with you so you can get actual therapy?” Steve asked, stunned.

“I mean, you could work your shit out, too,” Eddie suggested.

“What shit? I don’t have shit,” Steve insisted.

“Of course you do! Everyone does!” Eddie yelled.

“You’re insane,” Steve muttered. The thing was, he wasn’t saying it out of anger. He was saying it in understanding.

Because the thing was, Eddie had a point. Dr. Bauman was good at what he did, and Steve knew he’d never sign up for individual counseling. He already had the appointment. Eddie smirked.

“You’re with me, aren’t you?”

Fuck.

“Fine,” Steve agreed.

Notes from Dr. Bauman - 3/18

Eddie and Steve

Together since high school

Feelings of disconnect

Steve/dogwalker

Eddie/mom/drugs

Clearly lying

Clients are faking their relationship for me, for some reason. Will continue to work with them to figure out why.

They aren’t dating…but they should be

(next chapter)

------------------------------------

@ofherscarlettwitchways @livvyshmiv @paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingscatworld @thefruityfours @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @gregre369 @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @Dang_Dirty_Demons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence @starryeyedpoet17 @taikawaiteatea @samthemissfit @chaoticvictorianspirit @elizbaehth @despoenaandpyromania @bagofgreentea

#steddie #this is honestly so wild haha #nobody do this irl #but it's fun to read and write about!#steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #stranger things fanfiction #steddie fanfic #stranger things au #writing #st fanfic

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cybertroniannugget · 7 months

Note

Hello hello and Guten Tag!

I saw your post and wanted to try to help with the writing ideas. Maybe give you a little challenge? 🤷‍♀️

Anywhizzle, idea time!

TFPSmokescreen x Cybertronian!reader who is a medicbot

Smokescreen is trying to impress reader with his skills and fighting. What he fails to realize is that reader is also skilled in hand to hand combat and easily knocks him off his peds.

Romantic or platonic. Smokey needs love and a wee slice of humble pie.

Ich wünsche Ihnen einen schönen Morgen/Nachmittag/Abend!

Hallo und Guten Abend, a fellow German I see.

He sure does need a slice of that humble pie xD

And I am here to deliver, hope you like it.

And thanks for requesting.^^

Medics do know how to fight

(I just love that picture lmao)

About this fic: sfw, gn reader, some romance

851 words

"I doubt medics know how to fight. I mean Ratchet surely does but THEM?"

"If I were you Smokescreen, I wouldn't be saying that...", Bulkhead chimed in, a hint of worry in his tone of voice.

"Pff nahh, am I right doctor?"

You just roll your optics in annoyance, continuing on working on the task Ratchet gave you, back to the others.

Atleast he stopped calling you doc, so that's gotta be something.

Yes you may be a medic in training but oh was he wrong with that statement of his.

"Look? They're not even replying, because they know I'm soo right."

You turned around to face the white red and blue bot, who had his arms crossed before his chassis so full of himself.

"Oh really Smokey?"

"Hey, you know I hate that nickname!"

"Fine, I will stop using it IF, you win against me in a 1v1."

"Oh, it's so on!"

"But", you add, raising a single digit at him. "If I win, I'm gonna call you that for as long as I shall live. And no more making fun of medics, I mean it"

"Pff, humans call that child's play."

Raising an optic ridge, you step away from the console, attention now fully on him.

"Go on.", you try to encourage him.

"At least step away from my equipment...", Ratchet grumbled.

Not wanting to have wrenches flying your direction you do as you're told.

"So, wanna start?"

"And no guns for Primus' sake!"

You chuckle

"Alrighty Ratch!"

The bot infront of you turned to stand in a fighting position, fists raised to the height of his chest.

Game on.

He went for a frontal attack, which your easily dodged by ducking and turning to the side.

You counter with a light blow to his side, making him stumble.

"Are you even trying? Or am I just too good to-"

And that sentence of his was cut right off as you went forward, ducked again and kicked his pedes away, making him fall right onto his face, taking a box down with him.

"I needed that!", Ratchet yelled furiously.

"Ow"

"I may be a medic, but I surely know how to fight. Next time you underestimate me I won't go so easy on you."

"Ha, they busted you Smoky!", Miko laughed, pointing at the red blue and white colored bot, who was now slowly standing up, rubbing his helm in pain.

"And they surely got that sass from old Ratchet..", Smokescreen mumbled under his breath.

A wrench came flying his way from across the hall, which you catched easily right after your sensors detected it.

"And I got mad reflexes so better watch out from now on."

"Okay, let me get this straight.", Miko spoke up again. "They busted your metal ass AND saved you. Damn, you're so in their debt!"

The she comes to a complete halt, holding onto the railing while looking directly at the Smokescreen, her eyes wide.

"You were trying to impress them!", she exclaimed, jumping once and pointing at Smokescreen.

"Smoky is in love, Smoky is in love!", she declared, jumping around excitedly.

"WHAT?!", you and the mostly silver bot said simultaneously, exchanging a rather flustered look.

"Oooh and they love you too. Robot romance yayy"

"Miko...", Bulkhead reprimanded her.

"Whaat? It's true Bulk! They're in love!", she said, gesturing wildly towards the two of you while looking up at her guardian.

"We've got two lovebirds.", she explained proudly, hands on her hips now.

Ratchet raised an optic ridge, looking between you and a now very flustered Smokescreen.

"Well finally it's official. I can't stand you two pining for each other any longer.", the medic said, rolling his optics, going right back to work afterwards.

Indignant, you finally turn to speak.

"And what makes you ALL think that we're in love?!"

"Oh please, I've seen the way you look at eachother. And you would NEVER accept to a fight like this.", Arcee mentioned, arms crossed over her chassis.

"I could not help but notice a tension you two hold.", Optimus adds, who had been silently watching until now.

"Not you too Prime..."

You clear your throat.

"Yeah sure whatever..."

While cleaning up the mess you two created, you made sure not to look at Smokescreen, who couldn't take his optics off of you.

Sure, he was cute and you mayyyybee caught feelings, but it couldn't have been THAT obvious. Right?!

"You fight pretty good for a medic."

You shoot a glare at him.

"I mean, you fight really good.", he corrected himself. "No more making fun of medics, I know."

You chuckle, nudging his side. "You're not too bad yourself Smokey."

His helm turns toward you.

"What? I won, so you're Smokey from now on."

"I love you!", he blurted out, covering his intake with both servos immediately after.

You laugh, placing a servo on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, the feeling's mutual."

You two stand up straight and you put the now tidy box on top of a counter.

"Who are we kidding? Even Miko figured something was up. Might as well indulge and make it official, don't you think?"

The bot nods. "Yeah, you're right."

"I know I am, better get used to it."

"Pff"

#transformers x reader #tfp smokescreen #request #gender neutral reader #no y/n #Smokescreen x reader

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onmywaytofanfic · 11 months

Text

Thanks a lot for the tag Kaz @akamikazae let's see if I can do all of them!! :3333

Name: Boro :3

Pronouns: She - Her/ They - Them

Where do you call home: I heard once that home is that place where you can go to the toilet without any problem. I would also add that is that place where you can get yourself a glass of water without asking for one.

Favorite animal: People assumed that I am a cat person, they are wrong I love every animal...also cats, felines in general.

╱|、

(˚ˎ 。7

|、˜〵

じしˍ,)ノ

Cereal of choice: I have a problem with cereals I love them!!! My favourits are honey puff like cereals and those that are squares filled with chocolate or milk. Those are ddelicious GIVE ME CEREALS!!

Are you a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner: I remember that we have to do this test at the Uni and I was like a mix. Most of the time I doodle while taking notes and when revising stuff I need to move around my room. Also, when I am thinking in general I need music or a podcast while pacing around and a small notebook where I can write down any idea that crosses my mind or doubt while revising something. I tent to do more than one thing at once so, pacing while listening helps me so... Audio-kinasthetic-reading learner

First pet: There is a festivity here Los tres Reyes Magos, Three Wise Men, that we celebrate durign the Xmas time. That night my neighbours dog gave birth to who would be my first truthful friend. I woke up and the neighbour told us that the mother couldn't pass the night. In a small basket they got both pups, one seemed so full of energy the other one was curled up and shaking. I got the curld one without a second though and hugged them. He would be my friend for more than 10 years. I miss him a lot. He got the name of my favourite journalist ever but I keep it for myself ;) Friends know his name.

Favorite scent: Baked cookies, cinammon, but mostly flowery scents like lavender and also, please do not laugh, there is this deodorant chocolate scented ...wow.

Do you believe in astrology: I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself on this one, yet I find astrology interesting but I would not let it choose my life or stuff like that. It is very interestign to have a look at it.

How many playlists do you have on Spotify/apple music: 10

Sharpies or highlighters: Highlighters! I actually enjoy the layers that you can do with them and they got this Cyberpunk effect when done right that I love.

A song that makes you cry: ‘Fucking Perfect' by P!nk or 'The crow and the butterfly' Shinedown.

A song that makes you happy: ‘Lady Domina' Haloo Helsinki! or 'Master of the House' Les Miserables the musical... I have a problem with musicals in general.

And finally do you draw/write/create? I write and draw, a different thing is that I have the guts to call what I do something creative or even worthy. But I just do it, hoping to get better eventually... hope is the key word there. So I do both and technically create since both are creations *badum tsch* I also do tons of memes so...that's creations too, isn't it? One day I may post here those abominations that I call memes.

Hmmmm I tag @succikko-nebulae , @shinoposting , @yamanaka-shin and @spellcasterlight <3<3<3<3<3

Thanks again Kaz!!1 This was fun, I did not know that I had so many playlist on Spotify...and I use one in a loop most of the time xD.

#ty Kaz <3<3 #tag game #tumblr games #this was fun!

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myforeverlostthoughts · 2 years

Text

Ghost Pains (Junkrat x f!reader)

Hey! How's it going? Me, I'm doing pretty alright! Decided to write a little bit and ended up with this beauty right here! I know this is my first Overwatch x Reader but I just wanted to give it a go and if you all like it, maybe write some more? I don't know... I'm pretty rusty so apology ahead of time if this is bad XD Its nearly 11am in the morning and I have yet to go to sleep, but here we are! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! I am taking requests so fill free to send me all your guys ideas, if not enjoy and have a wonderful night/day! Peace! ~IkariSenpai

____________ Summary: Junkrat is having ghost pains and doesn't want to take his medication... Warnings: slight mention of sexual tension but its not fully in detail. Words: 1420 ____________

The ghost pains were back.

Junkrat had been laying in bed for what felt like hours and honestly he wished it was hours than minutes. His arm and leg were withering in pain as he forgot to take his meds and place his ointment on before he took his afternoon nap. The poor Australian man crying as Roadhog asked if he should go get y/n and see if they could help with the pain. They, y/n, were technically the ones watching over Junkrat when he had moments like these, but of course Jamison said no and began crying even more in pain. It was like he wanted to feel the pain and not have to tell y/n all about how much he had fucked up and that he was sorry for not listening to her before he had laid down. His body was covered in sweat as he just wanted it all to pass so he could go on with his day.

“It will pass… it always has… I don’t need her here… promise.” Junkrat said as he was more talking to himself then he was to Roadhog who was sitting down next to him holding out what looked like a white cream container and a pill bottle.

“Will you do it yourself then?” Roadhog asked shaking the bottle and pushing the ointment towards him.

Junkrat shook his head, “I don’t need that icky stuff. Y/n only did it because she said it would make the pain go away. I don’t need it. I can handle it.” He said as he was trying to be the bigger man and not worry about the pain coursing through his arm and leg. He was an inventor and had dealt with many things that were worse than this. Hell, he even had bombs for crying out loud blow up in his face! He didn’t need no stinking ointment and pills to make this all go away! He was Jamison Fawkes. He didn’t need it at all!

“Come on Jamie… you know you need it.. Stop fighting with me.” Roadhog said as he was about to call y/n and see if she could deal with him. She always knew how to set the man straight.

“I don’t need it! Now let’s go blow some stuff up!” Junkrat said as he tried his best to get out of bed. The young man swung his leg over the edge of the bed and made what he thought was a smart move, but ended up whimpering as he nearly fell out of bed because he moved too fast.

“Now you’ve done it.” Roadhog said as he sighed looking down at the man who was ass up on the floor. He picked him up delicately and placed him back on the bed. He handed Junkrat the pill and ointment hoping now that he knew he couldn’t go anywhere until he took it.

“I. Told. You. I. Don’t. Need. It.” Junkrat said through gritted teeth. He hated taking medication and hated that he had too because of his arm and leg, but with how much pain he was in he may have to cave and that honestly hurted Junkrat’s pride.

“Hey! I’m not staying long as I am going out with Tracer. I hope you two stay out of trouble!” y/n said as she poked her head into Junkrat’s room to tell the two she was just grabbing something and then leaving. Her body freezing in the doorway as she arched a brow, “Is everything alright in here?”

“No!”

“Yes!”

Both of the boys were giving mixed signals as y/n walked in and sat down on the bed looking over at her boyfriend, who was still in pain.

“Jamie, what’s wrong? Are you alright? Are you taking your medication like Ana said?” y/n asked as she looked at both his leg and arm and saw that it was red and burning. Almost as if she, herself, could feel his pain.

“Yes! I just took it before my nap and I feel all better.” Junkrat said as he looked over at Roadhog who was shaking his head.

“You aren’t lying to me, are you?” y/n asked as she arched a brow. She slowly pressed down on his leg as if to test the waters and as soon as she touched it Jamison cried in pain.

“Alright! Alright! I’m throwing a fit cause I don’t want to take it! It tastes funny and makes me feel sleepy when taking the pill! Please don’t make me take the pill!” Junkrat whined as Roadhog sighed, shaking his head more.

“But Jamie, it helps you feel better. No more ghost pains.. Why can’t you just take it and be a good lad for me?” y/n said as she pouted her outer lip trying to get Junkrat to budge.

“Because I’m not a ‘good lad’. I’m bad, bad to the bone and there ain’t nothing you can do to stop me.” Junkrat said as y/n touched his shoulder making him whine once more, “FINE! You win! Just… stop touching me! It hurts!”

Y/n smiled, “Thank you baby. Here let me help you.” and you started rubbing the ointment on his arm/shoulder hoping to help cool down the burning feeling he was having and to hopefully stop the pain.

“W-will you get my leg too?” Junkrat asked as he was a bit shy with this one. His cheeks glowed a bright pink as y/n looked up and smiled.

“Sure, just let me know when everything starts feeling better. I do want to hang out with Tracer, but I would much rather make sure my loving boyfriend is all goods before I head out.” y/n smiles brightly as Junkrat was one lucky dude for getting y/n to be his girlfriend.

“Thanks.” Junkrat replied as he laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. He felt y/n put the ointment on his leg and winced as it did sting a little, but it also brought pleasure as her hand slowly moved up his thigh and back down making sure that most of his leg was covered. His lower lip was trapped under his teeth as he was trying to ignore the hand that was touching him, but his other head decided to take matters in his own hands and popped up making Roadhog blush and leave while y/n chuckled and smiled.

“Seems to me your mind is in the gutter…” y/n remarked as she finished with the ointment and smiled at him trying to avoid his semi member cock in shorts.

“S-sorry… your touch just felt nice and I guess I got carried away. Sorry.” Junkrat blushed as he silently cursed to himself, “You all done?”

Y/n nodded her head, “Yeah, I’m all done.” She replied as she blushed now looking away.

“Sweet as, thanks a million, y/n.” Junkrat said as he stayed put in bed hoping y/n would leave. They hadn’t gone far into their relationship, but they were close enough that these moments happened all the time, y/n was just not ready yet and Junkrat respected her for that.

“Alright, well, I’ll be home around midnight. Don’t stay up for me, okay? You need your rest.” y/n said as Junkrat nodded his head.

“Don’t have too much fun.” Junkrat retorted, smiling from ear to ear. He watched his girlfriend get up and head towards the door making her slow walk a tease. Her hips swaying as Junkrat called out to her making her pause and turn, “I-I love you…” the words echoed in the room as y/n stood there. Her heart raced in her chest as she couldn’t believe that he had said the 3 words she had been desperate to say since they started dating.

“I-” y/n began as Junkrat blushed even more.

“If it's too soon! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to move too fast! I-” y/n walked back to him and leaned down kissing him. Her hand tangled in his blonde singed hair as they battled for dominance. Teeth clashing as one bit the other’s lip making the other moan. They went on what felt like forever, but alas, y/n pulled away as she smiled brightly at the man no longer in pain.

“I love you too, Jamison, I love you too.” and headed out the door to go meet up with Tracer.

#overwatch #roadhog #junkrat #junkrat x reader #junkrat x f!reader #overwatch x reader #ghost pain #female reader #x reader #jamison fawkes x reader #jamison fawkes #junkrat/reader #fanfic #fanfiction #jamison fawkes x you #junkrat x you #junkrat overwatch #roadhog overwatch

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myckicade · 1 year

Text

Mayans M.C. - 05x05

*pounds head on work desk*

Fuck. You. EZ.

While we're at it, fuck you, too, Sofia.

Anyway.

Conspiracies first. (Second? Third?).

Updated Guesses of Who's in the Coffin:

Angel

Marcus

Creeper

Heroin - I had this feeling after a good, long think, and... Yeah... It tracks. So to speak.

*ahems*

I genuinely loved a couple of things about this episode, and I would like to get right into those, if I may.

I have been loving the Big Brother Miguel vibes since the start of the season, and it's only getting better. (I mean, if I didn't know what I know, I would have almost thought that he was hitting on Angel, BUT. He must have studied that boy damn close if he knows his body from a security camera. Y'know what I mean?) *ahems* It might just be me, too, but I felt this sense of... reluctant longing in Miguel's tone, when he agreed that he didn't know Angel. Kinda' broke my heart, a little bit. Here's this guy who has family he clearly wants to protect, but also refuses to acknowledge beyond that. While he and EZ have some ugliness between them, he and Angel - minus the warehouse - don't have that much on-screen history to work with. ** This is why I firmly believe that something terrible will befall Angel, and Miguel will have to take it up with EZ. Something is going to tip Miguel's hand on this secret, either his or Filipe's. I just really kinda' hope I'm wrong about what that something is. **

I did enjoy that little Not-Fight-Club scene. I need to re-watch, because I want to know why Isaac said, "It really is you"?? Did I mishear that?? Because, if so, that sends me down a whole winding path of questions and conspiracies. (Again, I need to re-watch a few things, at least, because I have zero idea whether I missed something, and now look like an idiot for having these thoughts). Neeevermind. I found my answer. I just love JR Bourne, and while I haven't been... in love with Isaac, he's doing a fabulous job with the role.

Bishop holding a baby. Need I say more? I mean... C'mon. That was sweet as hell.

His storytelling, as well. The man may have the Short and Angry down, but he definitely knows how to play Big Fish.

Izzy laying down the law. Once she got out of the car, I was shouting, "YEAH, BITCH!! I love you, dude, but, YEAH, BITCH!!" It's about time Marcus hears the words. -_- . That he took Santi out for some Father-Son Time afterward? *sobs* MY HEART!!!! <3 <3 <3 . Marcus has been such a dick for so long, it was good to have him put in his place, and reminded that he has more to live for that the damned Club. P.S. Have they mentioned the baby's gender yet? I wanna' know. >XD.

Hank getting to help his Mom gets me. Every time. I don't care. Anything concerning that man is emotional. I swear.

Gotta' say... I kinda' loved that ending... Things - storylines - are FINALLY beginning to feel like they go together. I have a little bit of faith back.

Very briefly, there were a few things that I disliked, as well. (As usual).

Fuck you, Ez.

A supplementary 'Fuck You' to the following folks: Sofia Emily EZ Potter Katie Everybody Who Ignored Kevin's Widow EZ

I hope we get to see Elio again?? I like the dude, and I'm sad that he and Bottles got split up. :( .

Not enough Bottles. Damn. I didn't think I'd end up liking that kid so much. I can't help it. Alex Barone is adorable.

I could have done without Letty and Hope scream-singing for, what was it? Two, three minutes? It felt that way, anyhow.

While I'm glad we still have Nestor around, I'm pretty damned bothered by the lack of use of his character? If that makes sense? I mean, here's a dude that's capable, trustworthy, honest, dedicated, loyal, and he's tending the fucking bar?! Prospect was... just not where I expected him to land, I guess? And, for so damned long. In bed with the enemy, sure, I get that. He just feels like such an afterthought to the series, at times.

EZ's little speech to SAMDINO was a nightmare. It was like being on the phone with Xfinity's automated services. I felt for Isaac on that one. I would have lost my temper, too.

Consider this my Weekly Complaint about Emily, if filed a day or so late. Ugh. Her little speech about Motherhood - though valid - made me roll my eyes. While Miguel is certainly no prize in the marriage department, I wish he would have just cut bait a long, LONG time ago.

Beyond that? I pretty well enjoyed this episode. The preview for next week didn't thrill me to my core, but... We shall see.

Until next week, Y'all!

-Mycki

#Mayans M.C.#Mayans MC #Mayans #Mayans Spoilers #Mayans MC Spoilers #Mayans M.C. Spoilers

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scyllas-revenge · 1 year

Note

If it pleases you, answer any or all at your leisure, my lady! (Sorry, my mind may just be permanently stuck in this Regency speech pattern.)

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

Oh huzzah, my blog has been blessed by the patronage of the honorable, gracious Lady Sotwk (yeah I'm stuck in regency mode too lol)

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I feel like I'm obligated by law to say Burn Like Cold Iron (and it's true! It's just not a very interesting answer since it's my only long fic), but I could say that my favorite chapters are 22, 27, 28 and 30)

Other than that I'm really fond of my trsb fic from last year, What Could Possibly Go Wrong? It gives me hope that this year's trsb fic won't be a complete disaster.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

I had an elaborate plan for a long fic with Eomer and an OC. I wrote like 10k words for it and decided it will unequivocally never see the light of day. However, it does have some stuff that I think turned out pretty good that I'd like to incorporate into other fics. Such as...um. a 7 page hate sex scene. ahem.

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I was really surprised by how positive the response was to A Leap of Faith, which is my first and only Legolas fic. It was my shortest fic, and I wrote it so fast, but I underestimated the enthusiasm of Legolas fans XD

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

God I wish. I usually just put something on the TV in the background while I write (which is probably why I write so slowly and keep getting distracted). If I'm feeling particularly responsible, I might put on an album from the Oh Hellos or something in that vein.

(I will take any and all playlist recommendations)

Thank you so much for the ask!!

#answered!

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hacked-by-jake · 2 years

Text

WE F***ING DID IT!! 😭🥳

HOLY SHIT 🤯 AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Noooooo!!! New insane milestone! 😭

Okay, no, stop, that’s too much, I don’t really realize that! The 1000 followers were insane but I never thought that there will be a 2 at some point!

Nooo, I don’t know what to say, so seriously, I have no idea. The typical 'thank you' that I usually make feels somehow absolutely not enough and meaningful.

Still, a bunch of emotional words follow, because I can’t help it.

Two thousand people, how did I deserve this? So seriously? I really never expected in my life that I will create something where two thousand people end up saying "That’s good, I want more!"

I mean, did you guys look at the stuff I sometimes give here? Absolute crack. But I am so incredibly happy that you seem to like my strange thoughts. This is just amazing and I honestly can’t really understand it.

But no seriously. I’ve always been a outsider in real life and never felt like I really belonged and liked anywhere. I am not an easy person and I have always noticed that. In real life, I have a best friend, and then it stops. So, I don’t really have many people in my life. It’s all the more incredible for me that there are actually people here who seem to like what I say and even want to support me with a follow or likes, comments and reblogs. I can hardly understand that my stuff is apparently not so bad, and 2000 people of you actually like it. This is just an incredible honor for me! 🤯🥺

My thoughts were often different from those of other people, which is why I often got less encouragement, which at a certain point of course also felt strange and I wondered if I was just strange.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m weird, but I think in a good way. :)

That I think so today is also partly your 'fault'. Because the people here seem to like my thoughts, no matter how strange they may be, that means a lot to me and it helps me and especially my self-confidence and my self-worth a lot.

Now we get really personal: Even my therapist knows about you, hehe. This saying is often read, especially on Tumblr "I tell my therapist about you", but it is always in a negative context. But not with me. Because most of the time when she asks what was good the week, then the answer has mostly to do with Tumblr and this incredible fandom here. 🥺

With 2000 followers, you can also reveal a little bit about yourself. xD

No okay, if I keep doing this now, this will escalate completely and it ends in a whole book with 60 chapters.

So now we come to the crispy part: THANK YOU! JUST THANK YOU! ❤️

Thanks for being here with me, talking to me, writing comments, reblogging my posts, that you like my stuff, that you support me. That you send me asks to tell me your thoughts and even ask for my opinion. People want to hear my opinion, that’s incredible in my eyes, thank you for following me and apparently like what I’m talking about. ❤️

Thank you for being always so incredibly kind and wonderful. That you are all so positive and constantly put a smile on my face just because you are all the greatest people in the world.

I’m sorry for all the emotional stuff, but I’m emotionally unstable so you have to expect it when you follow me. 😂

So, just a big thank you to all of you! Tumblr is actually one of the only things what brings me a little joy during the day, which means that you are the ones who bring me my only joy. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, I feel so incredibly honored and it really means everything in the world to me! Thank you! ❤️😭

And at this point again a big and warm welcome to all who are new to my blog! Thank you for being here because you seem to like something. And I hope very much that it will remain so in the future and you will have a lot of fun! 🥰

Annnnd, here we go, Anon.

Your Ask came in a fitting and funny way last night, and here’s your answer. You’re lucky, because normally I probably wouldn’t have answered with the number. :D

Again: Thank you all so incredibly much for everything! It means the world to me. You all are so wonderful people! Thank you! ❤️

What about an eye reveal of my right eye to celebrate the day?

The picture is older, I still had purple/green hair there. And see? One of my beautiful guy fawkes masks. 🤭

#IAmJake!

Okay, I will stop talking now!

Thank you all! Lots of love and hugs to you! Take always care of yourself and stay healthy! I HOPE YOUR DAY WILL BE AS FANTASTIC AS YOU ALL MADE MINE! ❤️❤️

BYE! XD

#hbj talks #Wtf?????#follower milestone #AHHHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGGGGHHHGHGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #personal #<3<3<3<3<3<3

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wholemonsternut · 8 months

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i was clipping my nails & i just remembered a story that made me very sensitive abt my my own nails ever since i was a kid haha

there is some gore to it so it is spooky month themed XD

i have those long nails where the nail bed goes all the way to the tip of the finger so that means any growth (the white free edge part) results in my nails sticking out like claws idk moving on...

bc of how it is, the very end of the nail bed is very exposed & be easily cut into. earlier this year, i was opening a box & i wasn't careful enough with where i placed my fingers so one of the corners wedged itself between my right ring finger nail & i bled a significant amount & i could've sworn if i had truly panicked & yanked my hand the wrong direction, half of the nail would be ripped off the flesh (that may have been dramatic but this is my post)

>>ANYWAY, that was just exposition just in case any of you friends don't know what it's like to have something like that because that is a key detail in this story

for some reason my teacher genuinely did not believe that such nails exist (in fairness, at 8yrs old, i have also yet to know anyone else with genetically long nails like mine, so i took her word for it), telling us that it is very unsanitary, unprofessional, & akin to school delinquents to have long nails so she insisted to clip my nails for me

after not only humiliating me amongst my other 8 yr old peers, i also had to stay after the class. she pulled out an assortment of nail clippers & nail files from her purse. & immediately grabs & manhandles my little childish fingers

starting with my right hand, she starts digging the nail clipper into my nail. shocked & ready to cry already, i told her that the nail clipper was too deep & tried to point out that it's gonna bleed while also trying to pull away but she just scoffed (or whatever you'd understand a "tch" as) & held me in a sort of headlock... it felt like i was a sheep being sheered

i wasn't sure what was scarier, the feeling of the large nail clipper being wedged between my nail & flesh that it might as well just pop the whole nail off or the top layer skin being actively cut & yet to bleed to signal to the teacher the she should stop

it took until the we're at the thumb until one of my finger tips are finally stained with blood to have her immediately stop. i was so relieved that it was over & that i still have time to suck up my tears before anyone noticed.

however to her, my fingers are only bleeding because i was moving a lot & making a fuss over nothing

about to move to the left hand, she gave me an opportunity to willingly give my hand without her needing to hold me still. me, being a powerless child, i quickly understood that i do not know how exactly to get out of this situation

so i very hesitantly laid my left hand onto her free hand which she then grabbed the fingers anyway ig because i was very obviously shaking. her grip gets stronger every time i so much as flinch

for some reason, this side hurts more & thinking back i think it's because earlier she was holding my wrist/fingers so tightly that i was kind of numb to the full pain

i had my eyes closed for the most part & heard her sweeping the table (to clean up the nail clippings). i didn't want to be hopeful that it was over like i was minutes ago but i stared at her movements for a few seconds to confirm that she was putting away her things.

standing from my seat, i was ready to run hoping that i could catch that one kid selling bandages but

"where do you have to be so quickly? sit first. i'm not done yet." (best translation i can do, sorry)

she taps the previously mentioned nail file. at this time of my life, i didn't know what those were so i had no idea what she was about to do with a foam stick covered in sandpaper

i had a more verbal reaction with this one. apparently i was being a "whiny, dirty, unkempt, spoiled brat" standing up for myself for not wanting someone to rub my wounds with sandpaper but tbh i think i was a more of a personal opinion

i managed to get out of this part of the manicure session by saying that recess was almost over & i was very hungry

i couldn't find that kid that sold bandages that day btw

thank you so much for joining me in my dramatic retelling of my childhood self's torture session <3

#yes i was clipping my nails short & cut myself that made me tell this story how did u know #after graduating i do purposefully keep my nails longer bc it feels like that exposed bit is a little more protected XD #blogging #blabers

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desultory-novice · 2 years

Note

It's me ! That Marxolor fan !! I hope you're doing okay !! C: This may seem like a useless ask, but I just hope you're in a good position in life where your biggest worry is about marxolor-- Speaking of, I love the dynamic and idea that Marx is someone who needs a lot of attention and has jealousy issues. But his clinginess can reaaally get to Magolor. He has some undealt trauma and Magolor just. Understands :(

Marxolor Fan...!! :waves:

Thank you so much! To be perfectly honest, work is very draining at the moment (...I think I have a case of burnout...yuck...) which is why my fandom to do list of asks and translations and etc is still so long...!

But speaking of Marxolor, yes! about Marx needing attention! He's a bit ravenous for it! Actually, fufufu, you'll see a lot of that in Ch4. (and 5) of MariPav - and how Magolor learns to handle him! XD

[More MariPav Marxolor talk]

(I'm actually still debating if I want to work the Marx + Kirby childhood friends thing into MariPav because I love it so much. If I do, it's going to be part of a later side-story-esque thing, probably - but you can believe that being forgotten by one of the only people who paid attention to him would influence Marx's need to STAND OUT in the present! Of course, Marx will still have plenty of unresolved troubles even if I end up leaving that plot idea behind...)

For Magolor's part, he definitely gets annoyed at having to wrangle this bite-y gremlin who will knock the non-existent books off his non-existent shelves like a vengeful cat if he goes neglected too long, but as much as Magolor wishes he could live alone, it's just not feasible. (And he doesn’t really want that.)

However, when Marx DOES learn to understand Magolor's needs, and begins to care about them like they were his own... well...!!!

...I was actually JUST working on a complimentary short-story that'll be paired with one of the later chapters that deals with that new understanding they've built, and several times I’ve paused just to think, "...This! Yes!!"

I know this isn't going to make any sense out of context, but what the heck! Have a random chunk of words from said short story! (In brief summary, Magolor gets very sick and Marx needs to do something that could be dangerous and tricky to save him.)

---

[Magolor's POV]

"W-why are you..." the antifebrile was starting to wear off. It must have been, because my hands were shaking and I couldn't hide the quake of my voice, "...going to all these lengths for me?"

Marx set the book down and looked at me. His gaze inescapable. "Because...I don't want you to lose anything else."

My throat felt tight. My chest felt heavy. I would have wrote these off as symptoms of the fever, but the heat gathering in my eye suggested the cause wasn't physical so much as emotional.

When did I...? When did he get to know me so well?

"...Alright." I found myself whispering. And I could find no more reason to complain. No paltry fear of this going wrong could dismantle the resolve in his words.

---

Rgh! Now I wish work would lighten up so I have more time to draw!

#Kirby #Marxolor #MariPav #Totally NOT a useless ask by the way!#Thanks for always giving me a chance to talk about my OTP!#Dess Text Post #Dess Answers Questions #Dess Fanfic

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a-little-awkward-simp · 2 years

Text

A Nightmare Come True and A Wish Fulfilled - Saber! Gilles de Rais x Master! Fem! Reader

Okay so here's the second fic I've ever written :D A bit different from the first one

Tbh I might have almost cried a bit while writings this xd

Enjoy!

Fandom: FGO

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, a couple of swear words

______________________________________________________________

You sat alone in your dark basement. You kept staring at the summoning circle you made. Nothing. You had already attempted the ritual from start to finish with no results. The basement stayed dark and you sat there alone.

You were a powerful mage for sure, but you just sometimes couldn’t use your mana exactly the way you wanted to. This time though you really thought you knew what you were doing and you were sure you’d get it right, but it seems you were wrong.

You finally decided to give up on your attempts of summoning a servant and started climbing up the stairs. Maybe you'll succeed tomorrow. You yawned.

Just as you reached for the door handle you turned to look at the summoning circle one more time, hoping something would have magically happened, even though you knew it was very unlikely.

Wrong.

A faint light started shining. It was coming from the circle. Something was happening.

Your eyes widened at the sight. The light grew brighter and brighter. You couldn’t take your eyes off of it.

It worked? The ritual actually worked? A bit late but it worked?

The light grew brighter, blinding almost. You had to cover your eyes.

After the light faded, you looked towards the circle again, but this time you saw a silhouette standing on it. You couldn’t make out the details. You could only see that it was a tall, rather large figure.

“Who is it that summoned me here?”

You had frozen in place. You couldn’t talk. You were still baffled by what just happened.

Once your eyes had gotten used to the dark again, you searched for the closest light switch and turned the lights on. You finally saw him, your servant.

A tall man with long dark hair tied behind, only a few strands of hair remaining loosely framing his face. He wore massive armor and he was carrying a sword.

A saber class servant?

“Are you my master, miss?” he looked at you.

It took you a moment to process the question. You tried to figure out who he was, but you had no idea. He didn’t look familiar at all. Maybe he was an ancient character, forgotten in time.

“Y-yes!” you stuttered out.

He smiled and got down to his knees, bowing his head.

“Saber, Gilles de Rais. I have come at your request”

You froze to your place and went pale.

Gilles de Rais? Your servant?

You had read all those real horrors he had done in his lifetime. You despised the man. You had always felt sick even when you heard or saw his name somewhere. And now the very same madman stood right in front of you on his knees.

You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t want to kill your own servant. You couldn’t do the ritual again. But you didn’t want to be the one to give this monster a chance to have his wish granted by the Holy Grail.

You made your decision. You decided you’d accept him as your servant, though it feels like it’s against everything you have believed in in your life, but you must make this one selfish exception. Just this once. And after you were sure you had won the Holy Grail War, you’d get rid of him with a command spell.

You looked at him, with disgust in your eyes, you didn’t even try to hide it. You didn’t answer him.

He, finally, stood up and looked at you. “Now you know my true name. May I know yours?” He looked at you kindly. Disgusting.

“Y/n” you replied stoutly. You were disgusted by the fact that this man tried to be friendly with you.

“Pleasure to meet you” he smiled.

Stop. Stop this. You weren’t sure whether you could take this.

“I only wish to win this Holy Grail War. I have no intention of having a deep connection with a servant or making a friend. Just do your job.”

You turned away and left the basement, turning the lights off. You left the man behind to a dark basement. You couldn’t care less.

He stood there silent, not making a move. He looked after you, confused about your behaviour. He didn’t believe you to be a cold and rude person when he accepted your summoning.

“Understood” he finally said and dematerialized into thin air.

You went into the living room and flopped onto the couch. Crossing your arms you still thought about the earlier interaction with your servant.

‘In the name of the holy maiden’ my ass. You thought to yourself and cursed off the man.

You finally started doing your evening routine; shower, brush your teeth and finally change into your pajamas. You tried to calm down during this routine, and succeeded. That was until you saw the very man you had just insulted in your head with every possible word you knew in your own room. He was looking at your bookshelf with keen interest visible on his face.

The peace and serenity you had found a little while ago was gone.

“WHAT are you doing?” you almost growled through your gritted teeth.

If it was a children’s cartoon, smoke would be coming out of your ears right now.

Gilles jumped and turned around. He hadn’t expected, or even considered, to be caught in your room.

He looked stunned for a moment.

“You-” he swallowed. “You have a very good collection of books, miss. I take it you enjoy reading a lot?” he offered you a small smile.

You were FUMING with rage.

“Get. out.” you pointed at the door.

“V-very well. I bid you a goodnight, master” he bowed his head at you slightly and practically ran out of your room.

You slammed the door after him. You practically growled in anger and jumped into your bed. You took your pillow and screamed into it.

“I HATE IT HERE!!”

After what felt like forever, you managed to fall asleep. That night though, your sleep was restless.

_________________________________________________________________________

You woke up to your alarm clock going off. 9 A.M.

You got up and went downstairs to get yourself some breakfast. As you had gotten your breakfast ready, you picked up the book you had been reading lately.

Could the morning get any better? It was just you, your book and your favorite breakfast. The weather was good as well, the sky was clear, the sun was shining and it wasn’t too hot. Just perfect.

Then you heard the front door open.

You put your book down. Your heart started thumping fast in your chest. What the hell was happening? Did someone just break into your house? At 9.30 in the morning?

You sneaked to pick up a frying pan, your heartbeat growing faster and faster. You took a silent, deep breath and gathered up your courage.

You took your phone to your hand and dialed the emergency number, ready to call when needed.

You started sneaking towards the door, as quietly as you possibly could.

You got to the hallway where the noises were coming from, you didn’t hear any footsteps, so you knew the intruder was still by the front door. You leaned your back against the wall, hiding yourself from the intruder.

Your heart beat so hard in your chest you feared that the intruder could hear it. You held your breath. You were ready.

You yelled and charged at the intruder. Before you knew what was happening you heard a loud clang and saw your frying pan being cut in half.

What?

You now noticed the sword in front of you. You looked up and saw the intruder’s face.Your gaze was met with a pair of dark, very confused eyes.

Silence.

“Good morning, master”

Then you remembered. The abomination of a servant, unfortunately your servant.

“What the hell?! You sneak into my house and then you cut my frying pan into half?! What is WRONG with you?!” you yelled at your servant.

Your morning was ruined. Your calm and relaxing morning now gone and felt only like a fantasy now.

You left the hallway, leaving your confused servant behind, muttering curses under your breath.

You wished this Holy Grail was over already, it hasn’t even started properly yet. And you’d have to buy a new frying pan at some point.

_________________________________________________________________________

A few days have passed since your summoning ritual. Those few days had been miserable, unbearable almost. Every waking moment you felt angry. You couldn’t feel relaxed in your own home. You had to get out of the house that day. You hoped that some fresh air would help you calm down.

You couldn’t believe how unlucky you had been with your summoning. How could it possibly be him? You felt disgusted. He talked all fancy and polite but you knew what he was. Disgusting.

You tried to push all thoughts of your servant out of your mind. You didn’t pay attention to where you were going really, you let your legs take you wherever, as long as it wasn’t your home yet.

You tried to come up with some kind of a strategy to win this war, despite your servant being an absolute abomination. You had waited for the day you’d take part in the Holy Grail war, and it was already ruined for you.

Again! The angry thoughts wouldn’t leave you alone at all.

You tried to think about something else, something that had nothing to do with the Holy Grail war.

—---------------------

You hadn’t realized that the sun was already setting when you were walking by a lake. You had completely lost all sense of time. You decided to head back home.

You decided to take a slightly longer route home. It was usually a very quiet and peaceful place, and it had a gorgeous view. You always went there when you needed a moment to yourself. It was comforting to look at the lakeside scenery and let your thoughts wander.

You were halfway through the lakeside road when you started hearing sounds of some people fighting nearby. You didn’t think much of it and decided not to interfere. That was until a person flew from somewhere to right in front of you, blocking your way. You jumped at the sight. That’s when you realized what was going on.

The person in front of you was a servant.

The person in front of you disappeared into thin air. One servant was already dead.

You looked over to your right and saw another person staring at you. They knew. They knew you were their enemy.

you panicked. You started running.

“Shit shit shit” you muttered under your breath, panic taking full control over your body.

A tree fell right behind you. You were screwed.

Another tree fell right behind you and you fell over. You looked behind you. The other servant was coming. He was running towards you. You closed your eyes and covered your face.

Almost like out of instinct, you used a command seal.

You heard a loud clang, similar to the one you had heard that very morning. You opened your eyes and saw two figures now fighting right in front of you. You looked at the back of your hand. Two seals left. You looked up at the two figures again and recognised your saber fighting the other servant.

For the first time you were almost happy to see your servant.

You watched the two servants fight intensely. There were some exchanges of words between the two, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.

At some point the other servant, who you believed to be a lancer type, managed to make a surprise attack on Gilles and gained the upper hand. He slammed Gilles down and was about to finish him. Pointing his spear at him, ready to slam it through GIlles’ torso. Gilles’ sword was out of his reach.

You managed to react quickly. You created a shield around GIlles. You weren’t going to lose this battle.

The lancer slammed against the shield and looked at it confused. GIlles looked confused as well. You saw him turn to look at you. The lancer and his master took too long to react to what was happening and thus, Gilles managed to kick the lancer off of him and get a hold of his spear. He then charged towards the lancer and pierced the lancer with the spear.

You watched the whole thing. You flinched once the spear went through its real owner.

You now witnessed how cruel this war actually was.

You watched the lancer disappear. After he had vanished you saw the other master fall down to his knees, defeated. You then turned to watch GIlles go pick up his sword and get down to his knees and bow his head.

Was he… praying?

You stood still, processing what had just happened. You felt relieved and happy because-

You didn’t want to finish that thought. You started walking down the path the way you had been heading earlier. Surely your servant would follow shortly. You didn’t want to interrupt him, whatever he was doing.

_________________________________________________________________________

Days went by, battles were witnessed by you and fought by you and your servant. All of them ended up with you and your saber winning.

Every night when you went to bed you thought about your accomplishments with your servant. You had already fought many battles, but one always came back to your mind and haunted your dreams every now and then. It was your first battle.

You couldn’t stop thinking about how he had come to protect you in a blink of an eye. Sure, you had used a command seal, but there was still something about it. After that battle he had protected you the same way, even though you hadn’t used any command seals after the first time. He always protected you and fought intensely. During all this time you had never felt like you were in danger when he was around. Never. Even though you knew who he was and what monstrosities he was known for. You knew he was a madman. For all you knew, he could easily kill you if he ever felt like it, but you were still here.

You had noticed a change in your behavior and attitude towards him. You have become… softer. You always said good morning and good night to him, greeted him and thanked him.

You had started to feel at ease. You weren’t fuming with anger and hatred anymore. Maybe, in a way, you had grown rather fond of him. You started to enjoy having company around the house. You didn’t talk much, but there was still a sort of comfort in his company.

You weren’t even mad about the frying pan incident anymore, if anything you felt bad about it. You had even started to smile a little every time you saw him and greeted you as “m’lady”. And sometimes when he smiled, you noticed a hint of hidden sadness behind it, and it pained you a little.

It felt… weird. You felt slightly conflicted about your feelings. You thought him to be an abomination, the worst, actual hellspawn that once walked among humans, but now… he didn’t seem like it. He seemed like a gentleman, the embodiment of the definition of a righteous and devoted knight, who has sworn to fight for his country and people.

You stayed up until the sun began to rise. The scene of him protecting you and saving your life over and over again kept playing in your mind, until you finally fell asleep while the sun began to rise and bid the world a good morning.

_________________________________________________________________________

You stepped in through the door. You took off your shoes and carried the groceries to the kitchen. As you set the bag down you saw a figure sitting at the verandah out of the corner of your eye. It was Gilles. You turned to look at his back.

You thought about him. You had begun to think that he wasn’t like the monster that you had read about. He wasn’t who you imagined him to be. It was strange really. He was genuine whenever he said nice things to you, he was genuinely kind and caring, he was probably the least scary person who you had ever known in your life. And he really did remain loyal to you. Never did his loyalty to you falter, no matter how hard you were on him. He knew what he would become after he stopped being a knight. How could he be like this? How could he remain so calm and gentle even when he knew his future? You could probably never understand that.

You felt sad now. Maybe you had been too harsh. Too cold and mean. You had told him that you have no interest in being a friend and he was nothing but a servant to you. Did you mean it after all? If it was someone else you surely wouldn’t have said the same, you weren’t that kind of person.

You walked over to the door and hesitantly opened it. What if he didn’t want your company? What if you ruined his peaceful moment? You wanted to talk to him, to apologize, to try to get to know him better. But could you do that? After all the things you said to him, after all the thoughts you had about him, and most of all, could you do that even though you knew what a monster he was in his life?

You hesitantly walked over to him and sat down next to him.

“Hey” that was all you could say to him.

“Hello, master” he greeted you with a smile. He turned to look back at the sunset.

There was something wrong with his smile. it wasn’t genuine. It looked forced. He looked tired and… sad? It looked like he was carrying something heavy on his shoulders.

You weren’t sure what to say or do. Should you go and leave him alone with his thoughts? Did he want to talk? Did he want silent company?

You sat in silence. Until, of course, he broke it.

“How was the grocery shopping m’lady?”

‘M’lady’. He called you that even though you had told him to stop. You liked it. It sounded so natural of him to say it.

“Good. It was good” you looked at him and smiled at him a little. “There weren't too many people”

“Oh, good, good…” he trailed off, looking back at the sunset again.

Silence.

“Didn’t find a new frying pan though” you offered him a smile and chuckled a bit. He smiled a little. That was the only reaction you got from him.

Silence fell over you two again. Neither of you making a sound, not even seeming to make an attempt to talk.

You still didn’t know his wish. Your curiosity had gotten bigger and bigger for a while now, but you didn’t care enough to ask. Or well, so you thought.

You wanted to ask about it. You weren’t sure if you could though. It could be a very sensitive subject to him. And if so, why would he share it with you then? You, who had been treating him like scum all this time. He can’t think too highly of you even though he talks to you like royalty.

Your desire to make up for all your mean behavior towards him was greater than your fear of rejection. You gathered up your courage to ask him about his wish.

“Hey so uh…” you paused for a second. “I… I still don’t know your wish”

“My wish?” he looked at you, confusion written all over his face.

“Yeah. For the Holy Grail. What’s your wish for the Holy Grail?”

“Oh! Well…” he paused and looked away from you. “I wish to help someone” he looked back at you, smiling the same sad smile he had been smiling for this whole conversation.

Your mouth opened slightly. You didn’t know what to say. His wish was to help someone. His wish was something so non-selfish. He was going to use such an opportunity to do anything on someone else than himself. You almost started to cry. You had been so, so wrong about him this whole time.

“Help someone?” was all you could say.

“Yes. You see, I lost someone very dear to me a long time ago… That’s why…” he stopped.

He turned away from you and took a deep breath.

“That’s why I became… became the monster I’m known as. The one that you despise”

He knows? He knew this whole time why you had been so cold towards him.

Your eyes widened. You were visibly shocked.

“I know. I know that’s the reason you can’t stand me, master” he chuckled lightly with a sad smile. “I understand that” he looked away from you again. “It saddens me to know what I became. I don’t understand how. How could I do such atrocious things? After I devoted my life for the country and swore to protect the people, children especially…” he trailed off. “God’s ways are mysterious indeed…”

You felt tears forming in your eyes. You turned away from him and wiped them away, not wanting him to see you like this.

You cleared your throat. “Right, sounds great. The wish, I mean” you smiled at him.

He smiled back. “What about you, master? Pray tell, what’s your wish for the Grail?”

You thought for a moment.

“Safety. For everyone to be safe in the world. Sounds impossible and stupid, I know but… you can pretty much anything from the Grail, right?”

“Right, master,” he smiled thoughtfully.

“Please, saber” he turned to look at you, confused. “It’s Y/n. That’s my name” you smiled at him.

He smiled back at you.

You felt happy, sort of at ease. You finally felt comfortable with the servant you ended up with. Maybe you could be like friends after all. Maybe he really was the best servant you could’ve summoned yourself.

_________________________________________________________________________

You saw it. The Holy Grail. It was right in front of you. You could’ve taken only two or three steps and you could’ve reached it. You took a step toward it-

Only to be stopped by an enemy servant.

She shot an arrow towards you, the archer. It flew past you just barely.

You turned to look around, searching for Gilles with your eyes. He charged at the archer, his sword ready to stab her. He screamed when charging. A furious fight started between them, attacks going back and forth. Almost animalistic screams coming from both sides.

You weren't sure what to do. You started to feel desperate. Every time an arrow or a punch flew towards Gilles you gasped and everytime it was a close call your breath hitched.

Finally Gilles seemed to get the upper hand and every single one of his hits and blows landed on the target. Finally he managed to slam the archer down. He pierced her with his sword. Once he took his sword out of her, he started walking towards you.

You realised that this was your chance. You started running towards the Holy Grail, assuming that Gilles would soon follow.

You didn’t notice that the archer was still alive. She used the last bits of her strength to reach for her bow and arrows.

You heard a small swish.

You turned your eyes towards the sound.

You saw an arrow flying towards you at an immense speed. You froze to your place. It felt as though everything around you slowed down. All you could do was cover your face and close your eyes.

This is it. This is your end. This is how your Holy Grail war and your life is going to end. An arrow piercing your heart. You were so close, so close to winning. You and GIlles both were so close to making your greatest wishes come true.

Suddenly you felt like everything stopped around you. You were calm. You had accepted your fate. You were proud of yourself, happy you had come so far. Happy you had made a new acquaintance and a dear friend. Your family would be so proud of you, even though you didn’t win.

You heard the arrow land.

But you felt nothing. Is it the adrenaline? Your calmness? Is this how dying feels? Painless and easy.

You opened your eyes. You saw Gilles in front of you, his back right in front of your face. He stood still. Your eyes widened.

“Gilles…”

He dropped down to his knees.

“Gilles!” you went down to his knees right next to him, catching him into your arms.

You saw the arrow.

“Gilles you-”

“It’s alright, master… It’s alright” he smiled at you, wincing at the pain in his chest.

You were scared, more than you had ever been in your life. You were angry, sad, terrified. You looked around you. The archer’s master was gone. You were alone with him. Only the Holy Grail remained with you. There was no one else.

“Master”

You turned to look at him again. You could see clearly how he grew weaker by every second, eyes getting glassy.

“I’m glad it was you who was my master” he winced at the pain again. “I knew you are a wonderful person”

“But I-”

“I understand, and I forgive you” he chuckled and coughed right after.

Tears started forming in your eyes. Why? Why did he have to come save you? Why did he sacrifice himself just to save you?

“You- you shouldn’t have done that. Why would you do that?!” you screamed at him, tears running down your face.

“Because-” he coughed. “Because you're my master. And not just that…” he smiled and you noticed small tears forming in his eyes.

“You remind me of her, my dear Jeanne. This, in a way, made my wish for the Grail come true”

You hiccuped, eyes filled with tears and those falling down to his armor.

“Now now m’lady… Please don’t cry” he wiped his tears away with his hand, smiling. “Smile, please. You have a beautiful one”

You grabbed his hand and held it against your cheek.

“Gilles… Please no”

“It’s alright Y/n, it’s alright” he coughed again. “Of course I wish I could’ve seen you triumph and win, but I appreciate every moment I got to spend with you, both in battle and out of it”

He paused for a moment.

“In a way I have won”

You looked at him a little confused, furrowing your brows.

“My wish was to help her… Though I didn’t get to help her exactly, I got to help you, I got to save your life, m’lady” a tear fell down his cheek. “You are so much like her… My wish is fulfilled and so is my duty” he closed his eyes.

“Gilles no!”

“Please… I don’t have much time left… Smile, just one more time, that is the last thing I wish to see… The smile of the one I saved”

You forced a weak smile, tears flooding your eyes and clouding your vision. This couldn’t be, not him. Why must it be him?

“There… Thank you… M’lady”

After those words, his arm went limp.

You froze, looked at him in shock.

“Gilles?”

He vanished from your arms. He was gone.

You stared down at your empty arms.

“GILLES!! NO!!”

You wailed. Tears falling to the ground fast like cascades. You screamed a formidable blood curdling scream.

“Gilles…”

You curled up on the floor of the great empty hall, crying. Alone.

You lost. You didn’t care that you lost the war. You lost your servant, your friend.

You couldn’t move, you were defeated. You stayed on the cold floor, the death of Gilles kept repeating in your mind. You saw his glassy eyes, his weak smile, then his arm falling-

And finally, him vanishing into thin air.

“Gilles…” you whispered. “I’m so sorry…”

You let out another horrifying wail, staying down on the ground.

You had lost.

#fgo #reader insert #gilles de rais #angst #sfw

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