#maybe I’ll write something. who knows?
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Anyway, I kinda want to mention my schmookie little shop of horrors au with Schmitty as Seymour, Cookie as Audrey, and REDACTED as the Audrey II. I haven’t figured out the rest of the parts. Suggestions are greatly appreciated if you have any (/nf)!
I’ve been playing around with this idea for weeks but then I saw little shop over the weekend and readjusted my casting.
#jackbox#you don’t know jack#josh schmitty schmitstinstein#ydkj#cookie masterson#redacted tmp#little shop of horrors#these are two pieces of comfort media for me#so of course I wanted to make an au#I’ve been thinking about this so much#maybe I’ll write something. who knows?
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Thinking of writing a fic where you end up getting pregnant by Dabi. It’s a dumb mistake made by young twenty something year olds, during the darkest times of your life. You always assumed you’d die young, never making plans beyond the next day. This wakes you up. So you end up running and keeping it a secret from everyone, even after you find out exactly who Dabi is, even after the death of Touya Todoroki…
But your child is growing, their quirk is coming through and though you’ve done it all on your own so far, these flames are harsher than anything you can handle. It’s your last choice but you’re frantic and scared, of a child who might burn themselves alive, so you turn to the only place you can think of, Pro Hero Shouto’s agency…
I think an older!reader x mid twenties!Shouto would save me?
#I just think#Shouto subconsciously having a thing for older women#because something in him after everything#needs to be taken care of#but also a Shouto who has never seen himself having children#because of his fears and understanding of exactly what happens when you fuck up as a parent#actually realising how easy it is to love a child#and his childhood was not just circumstance or inevitable#that he didn’t deserve any of it#anyways this is so much more angsty but it comes w the territory of the todoroki’s#maybe I’ll write#who knows#Shouto x reader#Todoroki x reader#Dabi x reader#todoroki shouto x you#quitesins tdrk#cw pregnancy#cw kids#quite ramblings
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we need to talk
nurseydex, 31k Break Up (but not who you think), Getting Together, Paris
“Caitlin's moving to Paris,” Dex says. “Chris isn't,” he adds, even though that much is implied. Nursey whistles through his teeth. “Fuck.” Or, in which despite grand romantic gestures and relationship therapy on rooftops, there is always a room in Dex’s apartment for Nursey to return to.
#nurseydex#omgcp#my writing#omg guys pls let me know what you think this one is so SILLY!!! in a FUN WAY!!!#maybe one day i’ll post something short. who knows
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I wrote my first fanfic about stargoth going stargazing, as a treat.
I plan on making this a little series of post-season 1 stories (emphasis on planning, I might get super busy idk). Hope you enjoy!! :3
https://archiveofourown.org/works/62731186
#maybe I’ll draw something for this at some point who knows#the cinderella boy brainrot has reached a level where I’m writing fanfic and I really never write fanfic#cinderella boy#cinderella boy webtoon#buddy cinderella boy#chase cinderella boy#stargoth#j tells a story
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MDZS/Link Click fans how we feeling after this??



#new crack theory dropped: Link Click was originally an MDZS fanfic#ok ok hear me out#someone on link click team was like ‘im gonna write a wangxian time travel fix it’#and then it got a bit out of hand and the story was storying soooo hard#so then they were like ‘fine i’ll just make this an original work?? i guess’#and then it became modern? maybe it already was idk#but MOST IMPORTANTLY#they thought it would be soooo funny if they referenced the fic#so yeah that donghua? that was the og fic#am i onto something?#or am i projecting bc it sounds like something i myself would do?#who knows#mdzs#link click#yingdu chapter#link click spoilers#bonus: ‘maybe we should make the made-up donghua straight? but like referencing a gay thing…and then draw parallels to shiguang…?#haha what if??
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Still so iconic of Matt fraction to start his run like anyways off screen Clint and Kate who have met a few times before this run have become besties and are fundamentally now intertwined characters. Like and that’s just canon now. I think more comic writers should be willing to kinda just decide a new status quo like that especially with characters that have been under utilized
#and now it’s part of their characters that would seem really weird if changed#like they were on okay terms Clint and Kate were like we can both be Hawkeye that’s cool#but like that was it really unless I’ve misremembered#idk it’s just something I think about alot and like#that’s the fun of comics sometimes a run comes out of nowhere with new stuff that comes to define a character#it’s cool to see the medium like change and move and like be alive#having characters that get passed around to different writers over like decades and like almost a hundred year is so cool#and something you don’t see really that much out side of comics#like old folklore story cycles yes but like modern stuff#though with the obsessions with reboots that is changing but it’s still different#I’m just obsessed with that sort of shared cultural story telling I guess it#sound be surprising in retrospect I was obsessrd with comic books folklore mythology and fairytales as a kid#bc in a way they are the same#that’s all#maybe when I’m not taking a break getting distracted from writing a paper I’ll come back to these thoughts#and put them together in a more coherent way or expand on it more#but who knows man I feel like that doesn’t really happen but also I e been in law school hell for 3 years maybe things will change once#I graduate#anyways gotta go write#Hawkeye#hawkeye squared#kate bishop#clint barton#marvel#sometimes I feel bad about tagging my like stream of consciousness thoughts but also I want my blog to be functional for me to be able to#find stuff and like I tell myself people can scroll past it or use the block button fi I annoy them
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positive affirmations (mello’s daily ritual)
Mihael Keehl, you are the baddest bitch the mafia has ever seen.
Mello struck a cunty little pose and flipped his hair.
Near WISHES he was half as sexy as Mihael Keehl.
He picked up his cross necklace and clasped it behind his neck.
The only reason L didn’t pick ME, Mihael Keehl, to be his successor is cause he never saw me in person. If he’d seen me the charisma would’ve been overwhelming and he never would’ve thought about Near ever again. He would’ve gone “Ooh, Mello, it’s gotta be Mello!” and Mihael Keehl would’ve been the winner.
He bucked his belt and left the bathroom. The morning ritual was complete.
No one knew exactly how Kira’s powers worked. Obviously, he needed a name to kill. But what sort of name?
If aliases worked, L would’ve been fucked in the ass the second Kira ever saw his face.
(L had probably gotten fucked in the ass anyway but that was neither here nor there.)
(Both metaphorically and literally.)
So it couldn’t just be the name people called you. It had to be some sort of “real” name, a “true” name.
What the hell did it mean to have a true name?
Wammy’s house hinged on the principle that you couldn’t trust anyone at all, except for yourself. And so they had to use the names Roger gave them. But living under a fake name was dangerous. Spend too long with everyone calling you Mello and you stop thinking of Mello as a stupid pseudonym. You become Mello.
And that was why Mihael Keehl had to remind himself who he was every single morning.
#mine#my writing#death note#mello#mihael keehl#maybe I’ll expand upon this later who knows#just something I’ve been thinking about
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my honest opinion about caitvi is that the pacing is too rushed to make me super invested. there isn’t enough time between them investigating zaun and vi reuniting with jinx in S1 to really establish their individual goals, backgrounds and dynamic. what makes them similar despite coming from vastly different worlds? how can they improve themselves by being together? why do they need each other? they deserved a slow-burn
to be fair, pacing is an issue across the board with the show. it’s too ambitious and has too large a scope for the amount of time they had
#that being said I really liked how they established their sexualities#it was subtle but not too subtle#like you know they’re romantically coded right away#they could’ve had everything going for them! from wariness to begrudging respect to secret fondness!#I’m just saying the investigation should’ve lasted longer#with false leads and whatnot#and caitlyn seeing parts of zaun that challenges her views#like normal people you know… who aren’t criminals but are trying hard to survive…#and I don’t meant the people they find at the boat I mean everyday civilians#like how zuko meets normal civilians suffering from the war during his travels in atla#but that’s a whole other rant about how arcane depicts the underclass which I take issue with oops#maybe I’ll write something about that later#also caitlyn should’ve become a deserter and turned against the enforcers but ANYWAY#arcane critical#caitvi critical#ghost speaks
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Every day I make the decision to not write an “Odile does experiments on loop” fic
#there’s already three of them and they’re all amazing but at the same time#I have been thinking of. something similar but with Isa#I just think the weird psychosexual dynamic they could have goes under appreciated#loop knows so much about Isa. Isa is a curious guy who is way smarter than anyone gives him credit for#and I think the idea of Siffrin feeding Isa bits of compromising information about themself that Isa can then try to translate to loop#is so.#maybe I’ll write that once I’m done with my puppy boy isa fic#starstime
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Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 1.
Pairing: You x Baekhyun
Rating: M
Word Count: 6.9k
Warnings: an unspecified age difference, this is an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.
Author‘s note: remember all those years ago I said I’d write a Baekhyun x Noona fic? This is that fic.
Inspired by the Ray LaMontagne song Can I Stay
Links: Can I Stay: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Your new assistant was going to be a problem.
You clocked him as a problem before he walked through the doors of your office.
You spotted the danger a mile away the moment you saw the memo from the President of the company’s personal secretary advising you that a new member of your team would be starting today. A new member whose presence you’d never requested; who’s resume you’d never even seen, and whose last name was suspiciously identical to that company President’s whose Secretary was asking you — no, telling you to welcome your brand new, fresh out of college, probably fresh out of his dear mothers warm hugs and kisses embrace, with as much of a warm welcome as if you were welcoming the President himself.
Not only did you get thrust into your lap a most likely spoiled rotten nepotism baby, but now he was sitting across from your desk staring back at you with a bright beautiful smile of plenty of professionally straightened teeth and an even brighter happy go lucky personality that told you that this strapping young man had never known a day of struggle in his entire life — as short as that life had been so far.
An assistant should be younger than you anyway, right? You wouldn’t feel right bossing a homely old man around all day.
Did that young assistant have to be so very pretty though? Did he really have to be sitting there so damn moist and tender, looking at you with his head cocked to the side as if he had been jumping to as many conclusions about you as you had about him?
“I’m Byun Baekhyun. I like playing video games and working out. I can’t eat cucumber or spicy food. Please take care of me, Miss Manager Noona.” His words pulled his pink lips into a pout as he spoke and the sounds of his voice had just enough of a nasal whine that you wondered if he simply always got his way all of the time with everyone he knew.
You frowned and ticked your head back and forth at the name he called you. “Just Manager.” You corrected sternly and his wide smile dipped into a pronounced pout. The kind one might see on a little kid who’d just dropped his ice cream cone. You heard a nasal grunt of complaint come from the back of his throat and you hated how quickly that sound strummed a particular chord inside of your chest. You felt weirdly rebuked for the quick rebuttal and your lips dropped open almost against your will, “I mean, it’s just that…”
Just when you’d opened your mouth to speak he’d already moved on, “So what do I do here, Miss Manager…?” His words out loud stopped at the word Manager but you caught the movement of his lips as he silently mouthed the forbidden word ‘Noona.’ Clearly thinking he’d gotten away with something, his bright smile was back and as he asked his question he leaned forward with both of his elbows bent on the edge of your desk. His head peaked around to steal glimpses at the various pieces of work both open on your desk and brought up on your computer screen. You had been up to your ass in it before he walked in here and the thought of pausing all of this progress to train this guy was making your stress ulcer act up. You had deadlines to meet if you were going to get this script to the Assistant Directors in time for them to begin filming the next episode. The directors had deadlines, the locations were booked and paid for, the sponsor checks had long ago been cashed, and the reality show talent had a schedule that, contractually, could not be delayed. You simply did not have time for this inexperienced man to be asking you silly questions like “So what do I do here, Noona?”
You pulled a long breath into your lungs through your nose and closed your eyes for a moment, harnessing your self control. It wasn’t his fault you were overwhelmed with work. It wasn’t his fault he was born into a life of privilege and comfort. It wasn’t his fault that you didn't have time to train an entire new employee on the complicated job that sat before you. It was, maybe, perhaps his fault though, that the full head of bottle blonde hair you saw on top of his head had just enough highlights in it to bring out the pink in his cheeks and lips and make him look like something straight out of a boy band.
By the time you’d finished taking in your several calming deep breaths and you put your eyes back on him he was standing over your desk with his eyes peering over the document you had been working through for the past hour.
He was reading and mouthing the words, although from upside down you doubted he could tell what he was looking at, yet you watched curiously as he stuck a slim finger forward to touch the corner of one of the papers. You had been going over translations. Making sure the wording was correct, yes, but ultimately safe for widespread distribution. Your copy had red slashes through it with changes and suggestions. You were the final set of eyes that would approve this language that would be distributed proudly with your companies name all over the world.
“I think this one is no good,” he pointed to a single word on the document that had seemed innocuous enough for you to skip over it entirely. “That word,” his fingertip was stopped on a noun in the middle of the page, “means something very, very naughty in Brazil.”
Your eyes glanced down to where he pointed, surprised first for him to catch on to this task so quickly without you even having to explain it, and second to learn that sometimes a seashell is not just a seashell.
“That’s what you are doing with this, right?” He was grabbing the stack of papers from your desk now. “Give it, you have more important things to do, Miss Manager…” Again his lips continued the next two syllables in silence and you realized that this man was probably the most stubborn person you would ever meet in your entire life, and you were about to be permanently sealed into his mind as his Noona, whether you allowed it or not.
And it wasn’t that you approved of any of this anyway. But by the time your brain turned back on, the documents were already in his hands and he grabbed the red pen and started marking the page on top.
You had no choice but to allow it. The mere thought of someone taking away even a fraction of your workload felt like some sort of a dream come true. Plus, it really did seem like he had some idea of what he was doing. Part of you was genuinely curious as to how he would do.
You glanced over at him occasionally as he read through the pages making his notes and you soon found yourself immersed in the next task that was due soon.
Your focus was interrupted when a chipper sing-songy tune sounded out in his voice beside you, “I’m do-ne,” he called out and the script plopped down on your desk. His eyes were bright and his wide smile was back as his eyebrows wagged in the direction of the stack of papers he’d proudly presented you with.
You’d only made it through the first page when he started speaking again — this time without the singing.
“Did I do well? Do you like it? Can I stay?”
You were leafing through the pages, finding the spot where you left off and where he took over and you quickly read through the lines, taking care to read every suggestion he had made as well as the suggestions he had not made on the chance that in his inexperience he had missed something.
It looked pretty good. You didn’t tell him that though.
“Where did you say you came from again Mr…?”
“Baekhyun. I am Byun Baekhyun and I am yours now. You can use me however you like.” His wide smile had not so much as trembled since he’d brought the script back to you and the jovial attitude did not let up as he delivered to you one of the strangest, most ridiculous promises you’d ever received from anyone in your professional career.
You kept your face blank and ignored his eagerness. At least he was enthusiastic.
“Can you take this down to QC for final approval, Baekhyun…and do you have, like, a resume or something I can look at?”
He nodded with his eyes wide and he was digging through his bag for something. What he handed back to you was a tablet. The electronic kind that kept the little kids quiet at restaurants. His fingers tapped on the screen as he peered over your shoulder he brought up a picture in his photo gallery that seemed to be just a screen shot of his resume. He had to flip past various personal pictures as he did it and you did your best not to focus on any of it until he’d reached the one intended for you to see. There was nothing inappropriate from the looks of it. But it didn’t seem polite of you to snoop.
You did see some things though. Not that you were trying to see anything, but the picture right before the resume was one of him sitting in the driver’s seat of some fancy foreign car with a sweet smile on his face and a different color of hair that if you were being honest looked just as good, if not better than the blonde he had now.
“Sorry Noon—Uhh, Miss Manager, I don't have a printed copy on me but you can look at it there.” His hands were busy putting the paperwork carefully into a large white envelope so he could deliver it all to Quality Control and his head whipped back around with an afterthought for you, “You can just scroll to see the next page, okay?”
He was gone before you could answer him.
His resume showed promise. He’d graduated from an expensive Ivy League, of course, and had spent a few years abroad on various internships, no doubt landed with the ease of his family’s connections in the industry. You’d reached the end of the first page feeling somewhat hopeful that this time your new assistant would prove himself to be quite useful to you for however long he stayed in such a bottom level position. He would probably last no longer than a half a year before he rocketed to the top of the chain of command. The next page had various awards and honors achieved throughout his education and you glanced at the dates that he attended school, cursing your ability to do some quick mental math to guess his age.
He was young. A good amount of years younger than you, that was certain. Of course he was young, his skin still had traces of that smooth soft baby fat in his cheeks. Your finger scrolled back to the first page of his resume and with your fingertip still connected to the glass you allowed the picture to backtrack just a little, so the edges of the image of him smiling behind the steering wheel of that car showed just a little.
You had no business doing this. What were you thinking? You were just some delusional old lady thankful that she had an extra five minutes to her own thoughts thanks to her brand new assistant’s skills with a red pen. You quickly swiped away, back to the safety of the approved viewing material. Page one of Byun Baekhuun’s resume. You swiped again, a little too forceful for this tablet and page two quickly filled your screen. Perhaps the third swipe you made was out of spite but you gasped out loud when the next image in his picture gallery filled the screen of the tablet completely.
A wave of panic filled you and you quickly raced to undo what you had just done, what you had just seen.
You went back. It wasn’t enough.
You went back again, desperate for what you had just seen to be erased from your memory, but no matter how long you stared at the words on that screen, no matter how forcefully you exited out of the gallery entirely, closing the whole thing up and then finally giving up, locking the tablet and putting it to sleep, that image crept back up again and again and again.
Soon the desperation turned to bargaining. And bargaining turned to acceptance. It was normal really for a woman like you, a single, lonely, overworked woman like you to have this sort of reaction to accidentally seeing an attractive shirtless man standing poolside with the sun at his back and wetness glistening over his skin and broad chest and abs and other various well defined, firm, manly muscles.
Anger followed next. You were pretty sure you were going in the wrong order here, but how dare he put that picture in his tablet and just tell you to scroll. It was so easy for him to say it too as if he wanted you to find the picture and admire the time and work he put into building all of those muscles in his body. What if you had been caught in a trap. What if this was some sort of a test by HR to see if you needed to be sent to sensitivity training for sexual predators. What if there was a tracking device on that picture and there was now a blaring nipple warning happening in some control room upstairs.
A soft and pleasant ding interrupted your thoughts and you had a message waiting from Dami in the QC department. Baekhyun must have delivered the package by now. A quick glance at the clock on your computer told you that he had been gone for some time now and you half wondered if perhaps he had gotten lost on his way back.
“Oh my god. WHO. WAS. THAT?!!!??”
“I take it you got the revisions — please be quick, I’ve had 1st AD breathing down my neck all morning.”
“Gotcha. You made some interesting choices with this but I'm into it. What was wrong with those seashells?”
“Vulgar slang, censored in the Brazil market.”
“Ohh-la-la, great catch! This is why you’re the best.”
Her latest message stared back at you as your fingers refused to type a response. The last thing you wanted was to accept someone else’s work as your own, but you also really want to spend too much time on this distracting conversation that was keeping you and her both from your work. A simple emoji would do the trick. A smiley face, or a rolled eyes emoji maybe. Something that didn't exactly make claims to the potential slip up that Baekhyun caught on his first upside down glance at the script that you somehow missed even after looking over it twenty times.
Maybe you needed to brush up on your international slang terms for various sexual acts and their involved genitalia.
“My new assistant, Baekhyun, caught that one.” The long pause between her misdirected compliment and your delayed confession made you feel just a little bit guilty for any potential misunderstandings you might have opened yourself up to.
“Even his name is pretty.”
[She should see his muscles] an uninvited guest in the back of your brain whispered and you winced when it happened.
As soon as the thought crossed your mind you felt the shame of its aftermath course through you. That was the last thing you needed to be thinking about.
You didn't have much time to dwell on it because there was a sudden commotion outside of your office door. You heard the sound of someone’s shrill shouting, overdramatic screaming really and the telltale sounds of someone being thoroughly scolded. At the exact same time an alarm was sounding out on your phone telling you it was time to make it to your biweekly meeting with the directors and assistant directors upstairs. You quickly grabbed your laptop and calendar and made your way out of your door to see what in the world all of the fuss was about.
The carpet outside was littered with assorted papers and standing in the middle of the mess with his head hung down in shame was your assistant, looking sheepish and guilty. The source of the shrieking, as usual, was Carla, one of the less organized members of the translating team. You could see the now empty document tray sitting just at the edge of her desk and you imagined that she had set the whole thing precariously close to the edge again just tempting fate.
“What am I supposed to do with this now? This was my whole day’s work and you’ve made a huge mess of it all! Who even are you? Are you supposed to be in here?”
Baekhyun’s head dipped lower and his cheeks were bright pink as he was scolded again and again for bumping into her teetering tower and sending it crashing down to the ground, as you had seen happen around her desk at least once a week.
“Sorry, but I hardly even touched…” He was opening his mouth now, and as he began to protest what he thought was an unfair scolding you saw her lift up a rolled piece of paper and bonk him squarely on the top of his head with it.
You knew it was time to intervene and you cleared your throat noisily to make your presence known.
Carla’s hand with the rolled up paper dropped in an instant and her eyes widened as she looked at you in surprise.
“M…Manager, He…”
Baekhyun’s face whipped to look to you and you noted the apprehension in his eyes and the way he pulled his lips into the smallest pouty frown.
“Carla, why don't you and Emily work together on this? I know you’ve been working very hard all alone this week. Emily, let’s push back your workload to next week, hmm?” You pivoted to address the rest of your team as to not call attention to Carla alone.
“Everyone, let’s not stack everything on the edge of our desks. Let’s try and keep a clean workspace for everyone so accidents like this don't happen so often.”
You did your best to keep any bit of reproach out of your voice and it must have worked just enough to satisfy the easily excited girl because she closed up her mouth and flattened out her angry eyebrows with a small shrug.
You weren't above cleaning up a little mess here and there. As soon as you were done talking you dropped down to your knees and started gathering the papers up into a stack, the moment you moved, the rest of the team all dropped to their knees to do the same. Baekhyun was the first at your side, reaching for papers and pulling them out of your hands as you made neat stacks and he placed them carefully on the opposite side of Carla’s desk next to the partition, safe from literally anyone who might want to walk through this office.
“Baekhyun, I have a meeting upstairs, why don't you tag along so you can see what that’s like?”
“Yes ma’am,” he whispered beside you with a smile building on his face again and he moved quickly, keeping directly behind your steps as you moved down the hallway to the elevators.
“Noona, I’m so sorry about that earlier — I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I don't even know how it happened. All of a sudden she was just yelling at me. ”
“Manager, Baekhyun,” you corrected quickly as you stepped into the elevator first and he followed behind with a sheepish smile creeping up on his face. “And you didn't cause any trouble. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You were so cool though. You felt like a hostage negotiator, freeing me from my kidnapper. What did you think of my resume? Am I a man that meets your high standards?” His questions came in rapid succession one after another and you held your composure well at the mention of that damned resume of his.
That resume and those muscles.
“You’re smart and you seem capable enough,” and young and firm and handsome as all hell, “I’m sure you’ll do fine while you are here.”
You gripped your calendar in your fist and tapped it lightly against his belly. He grunted once and grabbed it with his free hands. “Pay attention to that. You’ll need to follow my schedule.”
He smiled and shone brightly in response with an energetic head nod and he spent most of the upstairs meeting leafing through your calendar, making small marks on certain dates and pulling out his cell phone to no doubt copy certain entries into his own phone calendar.
Baekhyun’s first day was eventful but he was very promising. The next days and weeks to come were interesting in a way you hesitated to define.
He proved himself valuable to you instantly. He was indeed smart and capable and had a sense about him that you hadn’t seen before in a coworker. Having him at your side not only made your own job infinitely easier, but you noticed your mood had lightened when he was around.
He was cheerful and funny and although you tried your absolute best not to encourage his jokes or god forbid, laugh at them, the first time you slipped and let a quick chuckle out over something stupid he’d said he looked at you with wide eyes and the proudest grin on his face. You had to instantly roll your eyes for damage control.
“That’s the first time I’ve ever made you laugh. Noona, admit it, you like me just a little bit.”
You’d given up on trying to break him of that nickname after the first week of him just ignoring your attempts. The first time you’d answered to it, you knew it was over. You’d screwed up.
And you just did it again with the laugh. He was holding something very important just out of your reach as he sometimes did when his mood grew playful and you had been doing your best not to kick him in the shins so he would drop the stupid thing that you just needed your final signature of approval so you could move on to the next thing that needed your immediate attention.
“I never said I didn’t like you, Baekhyun, this is work. We are working right now. If I miss this deadline that’s it for me and for you and for the entire department out there.”
“So when the project wraps you’ll have a drink with me and then you’ll laugh at all of my jokes? You promise?” He dropped the papers just enough for you to be able to touch the corner of them and you gripped them tightly, pulling them hard into your hands with a force that instantly made him let go. He knew the penalties of destroying something at the last minute and no amount of playfulness would make him risk having to run around re-gathering important person’s signatures with just one hour until shooting began.
It was what you needed and you signed quickly with a pen, passing them back into his arms with an urgency on your voice.
“Fine. Go. Now.” He was out the door without a second word. Of course he was playing about drinks with you. Of course he was playing with you about liking him just a little bit. This was just what he did and he didn't mean any of it at all. This guy was so far out of your league he had his own fan club.
He was very highly sought after by all of the young ladies in this office alone, and you had heard rumors of his popularity in the rest of the building.
Why wouldn't he be joking with you? It made no sense for you to take any of it seriously and you knew it deep down inside of you.
You made for a quick fluff in the mirror on your wall and a touch up of your makeup along with slipping on a classy professional jacket and the heels you kept in your office for situations that required you to look just a little more presentable than usual. You had another meeting to attend for an upcoming project. Something new and different that required you to meet with a whole new team of very important people to sell yourself and your team and their highly sought after skill set. You pressed the elevator button and caught a glimpse of your reflection in the shining silver elevator doors and just behind you saw the familiar bounce of his blonde hair as he rushed to your side to join you at this meeting. He was huffing and puffing from clearly running through the office to get back to you. You noticed the flush in his cheeks and what looked like dust on his jacket. His hair was just a little messy too. You always did your best not to look too closely at Baekhyun. The few times you did allow it your mind would wander into forbidden places and you noticed that it never took very long for him to catch you watching him.
He didn’t need to attend this one. It was more of a schmoozing event than any sort of technical planning meeting but the sight of his bright smile brought you a strange comfort so you didn’t send him away. Inside the elevator you noticed he was watching your face rather closely and when you turned to him in question he lifted a finger up to his lips and pointed.
“Your lipstick has a little smudge.”
Great. Just what you needed. You tried to look your best and just ended up a mess again. You reached up and rubbed lightly below your bottom lip and he shook his head and took a step closer to you and lifted his own hand to your face.
You froze and held your breath and you stared into his face in shock as the tip of his finger ran a path down the edge of your upper lip. He cocked his head to the side and his eyes slipped into your own for a split second and you were sure that you noticed his cheeks darken a shade. Had your own cheeks given you away so easily as well?
Baekhyun cleared his throat but he wasn’t done and he was no longer looking into your eyes as he did this. He made another, firmer pass of his index finger over the edge of your upper lip and you instinctively pulled your lips inward and squeezed them together, pretending as if you needed to spread your lipstick more instead of just getting away from his fingertips that touched you in this quiet and private place.
As you did it, he moved again. His hand lifted to run his fingertips along your temple, where you must have had an errant strand of hair that he slowly and carefully tucked behind your ear. You kept your breathing calm and steady and you kept your face impassive, but the racket inside of your own chest as your heart beat took on a life of its own was distracting and terribly concerning. You were a mess deep down inside. You were just so good at hiding it from him.
“There,” he whispered. “Beautiful,” he said even quieter, almost entirely under his breath just as the sound of elevator dinging made you jump with the sudden intrusion.
You were the first one out. You didn’t hear his footsteps behind you as you usually did and when you risked a quick glimpse behind you, you noticed he hadn’t yet left the elevator and his focus seemed distracted and lost.
“Baek,” you called and his eyes snapped back to life before the elevator doors closed on him. He shook his head lightly and took three big steps to take his place at your side. His smile was nowhere to be found and his eyes didn't quite meet yours and something about him made the air in this blasted hallway feel awkward and claggy and downright difficult to breathe in.
“Oh, I feel—,” you let out a breath through your pursed lips and whispered out loud to yourself as you placed a hand over your chest to calm your beating heart, “—-nervous,” you admitted in defeat, pausing outside of the heavy wooden doors.
“Because of the meeting?” A quiet question eked out in a familiar voice behind you and you refused to meet his eyes.
“Of course, why else?” You answered flatly and quickly but his reply did not come as quick. What came instead was a sharp inhale of breath pulled into the lungs of the man who stood behind you at this door.
“Right,” he said softly with a small exhale through his nose. “Why else.” He agreed out loud. You must have imagined just a hint of disappointment in that exhale. Of course you’d imagined it. It probably originated inside of your own head, really. Everyone knew you had no business feeling any sort of way about your assistant Byun Baekhyun. Whether it be disappointment; or heart flutterings; or attraction; or desire; all of it was off limits.
“Baekhyun, this is a very important meeting.” You inhaled slowly and deeply and stole a glance to your left where Baekhyun stood and you noticed he had what looked like an entire leaf stuck to the top of his head.
What?
The more you looked at him the messier he actually seemed and you knew that behind that door would be a multitude of very important, very rich people who held your future in their hands. People who very likely did not have dirt on their coats and leaves in their hair.
This would not do. There was an empty hallway near the stairwell at the end of the corridor. You’d often used that quiet space to regroup before these kinds of meetings. You knew there was a bench and a clock on the wall that did not tick as it’s big hands spun around its face. You reached for his arm and pulled him
“Why are you so messy? What happened to you?” You pulled him fast and he complied with rushed steps to the sanctuary of that quiet space and when you pushed at his shoulders, sending him down to sit in front of you on the bench, he did so with a soft grunt of surprise and zero resistance. Baekhyun never ever resisted anything from you. You’d overheard him downright arguing with some of the other staff members before but he took being your assistant quite seriously and treated even small requests from you as if they had been laws set in stone to follow.
He was just a little bit ridiculous but mostly he was just the best.
“Before, when I was getting signatures, the paper flew away in the wind and I had to chase it down. There was a bush…” You brushed at his coat with your fingertips, patting harder to get some of the dirt to fall off and you had to step closer to him to get at the leaves in his hair. There were two and they were small and dried and they crumbled into a million bits when you grabbed them, making you have to pull apart the strands of his blonde hair carefully to remove every last bit of them.
“…it flew under the bush in the courtyard and I had t-to…”
You knew you were leaning into him and he seemed to abruptly stop his explanations when you took another step placing your feet in the spaces around where his feet parted, you felt the roundness of his kneecap brush against the inside of your inner knee and he had gone completely still and his words quit entirely. The part of your brain where you kept your most incriminating secrets about him sounded alarms and warning bells. You ignored the cacophony in favor of this necessary task at hand.
It took some doing but you’d gotten all of the mess out of his hair. There was a small pile of broken and dried leaves sitting in the palm of your hand and you noticed some more dirt on the breast of his dark blue coat. It was a dark enough colored coat that the dirt would definitely show so you reached down with your empty hand, laying your palm over the spot, you tried to brush the dirt away. It didn’t budge as easily as you wished it would and a second pass with your hand, with more pressure seemed to work better.
It was almost done. He was nearly perfect again but when your hand returned for one more pass your mind’s alarms rang as you caught on to the firmness and the warmth you felt below his coat. the feeling of him inside of these clothes.
Your stupid intrusive thoughts that you did your best to keep at bay surged up again.
Baekhyun was silent and motionless. Baekhyun had done nothing to encourage this. Everything he had ever told you that might have sounded flirtatious was said in jest. He was joking. He was always joking with you, that was just his way. But he sure did joke a lot with you. You often found yourself confused and frustrated by him.
The dust was gone. He could go now. You could let him go. He was ready to face them.
“There,” you said in a soft whisper, beautiful you thought in secret. Your whisper felt an appropriate tone of voice for such a quiet and secluded hideaway such as this and you mustered up the nerve to remove your hand from his chest so you could throw this trash away and attend your damn meeting.
You rocked back on your feet, shifting your balance away from where he sat on this bench, introducing some distance between the two of you. Then you moved your hand away from his chest for a fraction of a second you no longer felt the warmth and the firmness of his body below your palm and you began to pivot on your heels, you began to turn away from him and extract yourself entirely from this fantastical and impossible situation you had been entertaining inside of your own silly imagination. Only when you shifted so did he and rather than the warmth of his chest under the palm of your hand you felt the slow moving heat of his hand covering over the back of your own hand.
The sensation caught you off guard and you froze mid step, looking down to see it happening. You felt the smoothness of his fingertips tracing an achingly dizzying path up your wrist and higher until your entire hand had been covered completely by his.
You took another step away from him. This was strange. This was some sort of trick of your imagination again.
Your eyes sought out his eyes for answers only the look you saw in his expression did not give you any insight at all. He was watching you with a sort of detachment from this, from you; similar to the same look you’d seen from him in the elevator earlier. Similar to the look you’d seen from him many times over the course of the last few months of working closely with him.
You needed more answers than his face could give and when you took another step the grip he had on your hand tensed and he held on tighter and suddenly he was in motion as his thigh muscles tensed up and he stood on own two feet.
Your mind was consumed by confusion and uncertainty when his movements did not stop.
Baekhyun took a step into you, undoing the distance you had carefully and desperately put between your body and his body and out of the corner of your eye you caught movement in his other hand.
The fragments of seconds of time were insufficient to process any of this. If he was playing some sort of a trick, he was taking it too far for sure. Your heart was entirely too weak to take this kind of behavior from him.
Baekhyun’s hand lifted — he sought to touch the side of your face and at the same time, the distance between the two of you shrunk in an instant as he moved in. You watched on in surprise and in shock until every detail of Byun Baekhyun’s face blurred and you felt the warm wetness of his lips that landed over your own surprised ones.
He kissed you.
He had kissed you.
In this space, this quiet space that was once only yours, he had kissed you and you were frozen in this moment without even the ability to comprehend how this man could have done this, or why he had done this, or what, if anything at all was the punchline of this particular joke of his.
He had kissed you and he was still kissing you and your frozen reaction must have been what brought him to his senses.
He opened his eyes and his lips retreated just enough for him to pull back and look into your face. You made a sound. It was the smallest questioning hum from the back of your throat and you shook your head a microscopic amount to try and clear the static happening inside your brain.
“Uhh,” you finally managed and he had dropped his hold on your hand and closed his eyes up tight.
He looked to his left and then he looked to his right. Both spaces were empty. You were standing in front of him but he did not look at you.
His eyes closed up again and you saw him pull his lips in between his teeth and he bit down and exhaled a huff through his nose before pulling his expression into the smallest wince.
“Shit,” he whispered. He looked behind himself. He looked up at the ceiling and he looked down at the floor. He wasn’t actually looking anywhere but you knew for absolute certainty that he was not looking at you.
You swallowed away the dryness inside of your mouth at the sound of that tiny curse word and the unimaginably tiny sting you felt inside of your chest when you heard him say it.
This was okay.
This was fine.
It was just a mistake; a joke taken too far. He was silly by nature and you did not need to read anything into this little blunder of his. You definitely didn't want to make him feel bad about having made this mistake. Maybe this suffocating ache inside of your chest was the punchline. You could feel its tendrils creeping up inside.
Ha! Ha! Stupid old lady.
No. No, This was okay.
This was fine.
The clock on the wall called to you and you watched the minute hand join up with the hour hand as the two became one and it was 12 noon. It was time for both of you to be inside that meeting room instead of out here playing jokes on each other and instantly regretting it.
His gaze followed yours, touching upon that clock and understanding the task at hand and you stood straighter, fixed your skirt and jacket, made sure your button up blouse was still closed up tight, and you made a few steps toward the trash can to throw away the dried leaves from his hair and from what felt like ages ago and you heard his footsteps follow you down the hallway to enter the meeting room.
You did not hold the door open behind you and you did not listen carefully for the comforting sound of his footsteps behind you. When you opened the door to walk inside you did not do so with any regard for anyone else in the world — especially not for someone like Byun Baekhyun, who’s father’s name adorned the outside of this enormous building and even your paychecks. Especially not for Byun Baekhyun who had exactly three weeks left of his detail in the International Subbing Department before he moved on to QC or AD or wherever the hell he wanted to go when he left you.
[To Be Continued]
Links: Can I Stay? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
#baekhyun#baekhyun fic#exo#exo fic#fan fiction#Baekhyun fanficion#i think this will be a two shot.#nothing crazy long#just something to ease me back into writing#maybe#or maybe the last two chapters of anything I’ll ever write again#who the hell knows#i dont
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computer science was a hoax from the universe to get me to study math in the pretense of ”hehe coding’s cool look at all these things u can do” *some mf vectors looming just around the corner* ”noNO dont look there; look here!! It’s ’hello world’ but in green heheh wOoOoo now it’s blue !! u are a god of this website” *matrices sharpening their knives somewhere*
#idk whY I’m going to the mathematical side of things#it’s ME who chooses the thesis topic#so could we maybe do without vectors MAYBE PERHAPS#(i dont like vectors. when we learned them at school I looked at them went ’’well I’ll never use this’’ and now look where we are#I owe my highschool math teacher’s an apology like oh no sometimes u do use vectors)#(I’m scared I’ll somehow choose a too difficult topic and make this impossible for myself)#(but also like I’m not MAKING anything from scratch; I’m just reading articles & writing from there (tho gotta have some own thoughts there#also I think?))#(if I was smart I would’ve chosen this abt something I already know something abt instead of ’’I wanna see if I could like this’’)#(but alas im not)#codeblr#january 2024#2024
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I think the first story you write as a little kid reflects who you are at your core. The first story I wrote was two pages long, front and back, in neon pink comic sans-type font on my family’s living room computer. It was about a girl and a boy falling in love and she introduced him to all her friends because she loved him so much. That was it. I’m not sure who I am in that story, whether I’m the boyfriend, the girlfriend or the friends in general. Either way, I was excited to share it.
#text post#writing#I wouldn’t be able to find this no matter what#it was on one of those chunky computers where you plugged the mouse in by a wire to the back of it#but I’ll always remember the story and putting it in my moms hands#she didn’t read it but that’s a tragedy for another day#and I’m trying to put what I mean into words#and not to romanticise it but#when you write or draw or sing you put a piece of you out there#and you want the world to know that’s YOUR piece it gets to see#so you usually choose something that reflects who you are#which I think is why there’s so many romance and fantasy stories about right now#a lot of us want an escape and those are usually safe genres to run too#but like not saying horror or adventure or mystery isn’t good#they just reflect different facets#like choosing horror means the see the soft beneath the grotesque#or you’re enamoured by the otherworldly#whilst maybe mystery means you’re inquisitive and you’re eager to uncover#and I’d like to think choosing romance means you have a lot of love to give#anyways as a kid you’re gonna choose the first thing that reminds you of yourself#whether it be romance or horror or adventure or fantasy#either way it’s you#yall can ignore this I never do this o just saw a text post and got emotional#it was the one about the stray cats kids that turn into humans every full moon and try to solve murders#it’s by filmnoirsbian#I got emotional thinking what the first story I ever wrote was lmao
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getting ready to post another chapter of cocktail molotov today (finally) !!
#and back to working on the next few chapters#had writer’s block for a bit but then i watched s2 e5 again#and something about watching pitfighter vi activates my writing skills immediately lmao#so hopefully we’re back into the weekly schedule <3#have also been working on my new ellie series !!#and once i’ve written a bit more of that one and maybe finished cocktail molotov (or before who knows)#i’ll start on the roommate!ellie fic <3#also red wine supernova is still coming !!!!#i have so many drafts yall its crazy#───𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬.✩
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ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….
#someone on tiktok found poor lonesome cowboy in an old archival-esque book of cowboy and campfire songs and as soon as i saw this i gasped#ummm burst into tears actually ! thanks ! i’m so sad !#poor lonesome coyotito who parted from his city and who has no sweetheart to sit and talk with him ☹️#they make me miserable#i was just gonna put this in my drafts but i already have 15 drafts and i fear if i continue to put ideas in my drafts “for later’’ i will#never make another post again … so instead of setting myself up for disappointment i’m just gonna start posting like i do on twt#which is where i post every unfiltered thought i have :)#it’s MY blog and I get to make useless textposts constantly because i know im incapable of making any actual content atm#i’m hoping to draw something based off of this some day though :( i’m already having ideas#usually i sit in my mind palace and tinker with my au where kieran lives but unfortunately sometimes i must face reality and think about#javier’s loss and heartbreak in canon <//3#i need to rewatch kieran’s death cutscene and see where javier is and what he does because i’ll have to write his initial#response to grief depending on that :/#whether he’s frozen in disbelief or actively involved in the retrieval of kieran’s body (if he’s even around at all)#javier isn’t really the type to scream and sob out in pain in the moment but i do think that when he finally had a moment to himself (likely#all the way in chapter six considering how chaotic everything gets and how he’s involved in like … everything following that) (which also re#minds me that he literally goes and gets tortured in guarma immediately after losing his lover. i have to kill myslf. anyway.)#i think it probably hits him like a train and he begins to hack and throw up like the weight of grief is literally crushing his organs from#the inside out 😕 javier escuella the lover that you are sets you up for such devastating heartbreak im so sorry#idek how much i want to tag this. maybe ill pull a moss and start using my own tags for characters#rdr2#image#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s kieran#hero’s javier#hero’s javieran#just so i dont have to clog up tags 💛#i will tag#javieran#as normal though
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sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.
#god i really really don’t want to do this. but i have to but i don’t want to but i have to but i don’t want to. and so on. you get the gist#though i guess i am more not wanting to let go of an idea or fantasy rather than reality#like i always wanted to be an active participant in fun oc art fandom writing etc etc communities#but all i really did was make way too many people uncomfortable with my worthless stuff.#like it and me are just not built for interacting with people lmao. especially when it comes to stuff like my characters or uh.#i don’t know you can’t call it art or writing just uh. creations i guess.#and like i knew that before i made this blog but then people started interacting with me and i thought hey maybe this’ll work out maybe i#can be better and then i so wasn’t. and for that i am very sorry.#(and i mean this is not the main reason why i feel like i have to do this but i can’t just go back like nothing happened on here lmao.#i deleted 90% of my shana posts i had/am having a crashout i gotta at least follow through after being so embarrassing#after being even more insufferable than usual haha. and if i stayed there would be even more people who feel obligated to stay around#i feel. and i so don’t want that. so just one more reason why i gotta be brave and just fucking do it.)#also i do realise that there’s the possibility of not deactivating and just logging off and leaving but every time i took a break like that#i always like felt a bit ‘better’/delusional & thought it’d be ok to return. sure that’ll happen again.which is why i have to be so drastic#like even if i made a new blog i know myself well enough to know that i’ll be too embarrassed to reach out to anyone again.#so it would really be a working solution to this problem. i really should just do it.#romeo’s wretched rambles#also a message to everyone telling me that they like shana and that he’s not a shit character to obsess over & more importantly share#with folks: appreciate the sentiment but there’s a lot of his evil you don’t know about.#i was implying some stuff here and there and some people i’ve told more privately but even they are missing like 25% of the shana.#those being the absolute worst parts of him. i am still absolutely obsessed with him but that’s my error to fix and i can’t subject#people to that anymore in good conscience. seeing people say they like him actively feels like i’m pulling a shana myself and deceiving#people with lies of omission sometimes. remember that lol. obviously ik that there r big differences but sometimes it just feels awful stil#so maybe he’s better contained in a separate private blog that i can torch once i get over this rot and just be done with this fucking char#again i don’t mean to say that i don’t appreciate the support but i’m sure many of your guys’ opinions would change If You Knew. you know.#(god. with the lies of omission thing. every day i learn more abt how i subconsciously write things that make me deeply uncomfortable lol)#(and that i fear. like. that wasn’t even intentional when i gave him that trait. i just realised that while typing this pointless mess lmao#anyways. thanks for readin if you made it this far. send me anon hate or something. hit me with an anvil and spit on my corpse if you will#i hope that at least by the end of this week i will have put my brave pants on and decided on what to do. sorry for being so annoying.
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okay random headcanon but peter likes to nuzzle with his nose!! he gets all smiley and snuggly and just nuzzles in!!
also the monkees set aside time in the day to snuggle, usually before they crash for bed. this probably starts sometimes in the 70s and continues as they get older
okay thank you bye!!!
#the monkees#they’re all so cuddly i’m sorry they love each other a lot and mike nesmith knew this because he wrote the fucking 1997 special#that is crazy to me because most people writing a reunion for the monkees would be like ‘they split up and now have to come together for#some big show or disaster’ or something but not nez#no they’re so domestic like housewife davy… micky answering the door and calling back to (his husband) mike to ask him if he remembered when#they did that storyline like they’re all MARRIED??!!!!????? MIKE!!????#i’ll never shut up about this#don’t even get me started on ‘kiss’#like it’s so commonplace in the house for davy to say that?? and then micky tires to turn it into a bit later because the cameras are rollin#rolling and it seems like he’s scared#like i know they lived through the 80s at this point but like… it’s okay micky you’re safe to be a little gay with your buddies#he tries to laugh it off as a ‘bizzare’ moment but we all know what you are 1997 monkees special micky dolenz#maybe he’s covering cause he forgot they were on air and he was the one who forgot and responded with ‘no thanks’ idk#it’s okay mick we love you#you’re allowed to kiss davy when the cameras are off…#micky and davy share housewife duties i know they do. they are so cunty together.#there was something else i was gonna say but i forgot because of the kiss joke#i’ll shut up now…#and like clearly mike thought of the monkees in their bizarre world like they’re self aware. how did that happen? are they aware of us the#viewers in the universe of the special?? maybe…#i take Head as a separate universe cause the show-verse and irl monkees are blended much more#only mike would write about dimension hopping with the monkee mobile and just have it as a throwaway thing#anyway…#the special is so weirdly written but i do love its ideas and this silly but slightly terrifying domestic monkee universe
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