#maybe a 30 minute 5k is more possible than i thought

[ttaibhse]

my goal was 4k in 30 min really really didnt think i was going to make it 🥹🥹🥹

[aflame4goinghome]

Part Of The Band

j.t.k x f.reader

part one

a/n: this is my first time writing Jake and I have to admit that it’s been so intimidating. he was the one I was soooo scared to write, since he’s my main lane. I plan to make this into a series, so I really hope you all enjoy it :)

word count: 5k

summary: your best friend asks you to come with her to a concert for a band that you’re unfamiliar with. your decision to go proves to have more repercussions than you thought when you run into the band at your favorite bar after the show. you never would have imagined the pull that you’d feel toward their guitarist, or that you would somehow manage to capture his attention…

warnings: yearning, some cussing, mentions of alcohol, smoking. some parts are slightly sexually implicit, including: light groping, kissing, and some sexual language. minors beware! the next part will definitely contain smut.

You’ve never been one to pass up on a night out, especially if it involves music. Music is something that you actively search for constantly, it defines you. You’d do anything to just be able to listen to live music, to close your eyes and just feel it flow through your body. Since you lack any actual musical talent besides half-decent singing, you just listen to it as much as you can.

So, when your roommate and best friend, Sophie, asked you to come with her to a concert tonight last minute, you could hardly just say no. Did you have a big midterm tomorrow afternoon that you needed to study for? Maybe. But live music always comes first. Sophie was always finding last-minute concerts for you to go to together- it was kind of your thing. This time, however, it was a band you didn’t really know.

You’re pretty sure you’ve heard one of their singles, Heat Above, online somewhere a few times but that was the most knowledge you had of Greta Van Fleet. You don’t know much about their background or their names, just that they make rock music and that’s all you need to be convinced to go. You and Sophie had always found yourselves at the Greek Theatre for just about any kind of concert, so this wasn’t a new thing for you.

The show is meant to start at 7:00 pm, but Sophie is always determined to be as close to the stage as possible, so you’re getting ready in the afternoon to get there around 2:30 or 3 o’clock. In the name of comfortability, you opt to wear ripped black skinny jeans, a white halter top, and your Doc Martens. You keep your hair down, wavy and lying right below your shoulders. You put on some simple makeup, just to cover up any blemishes you might have, do some tight-lined eyeliner, and put on a bit of your favorite silver eyeshadow. You take a deep breath. Okay, you’re ready.

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Sophie calls your Uber over to the Greek and you both arrive there just in time. You see about 50 people there already, so you both know that you’ll have a great spot in the small pit. You guys sit down at the end of the line and make yourselves comfortable to wait in the line for several hours until you’re let into the venue. Late October in LA can be pretty comfortable, today is in the mid-70s, so it isn’t a terrible day to camp out. You and Sophie talk about schoolwork, gossip about your friends, and play various games until it’s suddenly 6 o’clock and it’s time to head into the venue.

The group walks down the steps of the Greek and security has the line start all the way to the left of the pit. You and Sophie end up standing toward the front of the right side of the stage, which you’re perfectly content with. It’s not long before the openers come on- they were all great. The energy in the theatre was amazing and the weather was beautiful, it was like a dream.

Next thing you know, the lights go out and it’s pitch black. The crowd goes wild, screaming for the band to come out. Ominous music starts to play over the speakers and a short video plays on the screens on the sides of the stage. You can tell that the band enjoyed building suspense and it certainly works.

Suddenly, you see a dark silhouette emerge from stage left and appear right in front of your gaze. He’s holding a guitar, stepping up to the front of the stage where you assume his pedals are, and strikes a loud chord, bringing everyone’s attention to him. The lights turn up, with a sole spotlight on him, as he starts to play a dark, hypnotizing melody that almost takes the air out of your lungs. You turn your focus to the drummer and keyboardist entering the stage now, adding to the mix and making the sound grow even larger and darker than before.

The crowd then screams as the singer walks out with an enormous smile on his face. You can immediately tell what fans would love about him, he exudes brightness and kindness from the second you look at him. He begins vocalizing and you’re taken aback by his singing abilities, his voice is truly amazing.

The first verse begins and you decide to turn your attention back to the guitarist. You study the way he moves on stage; how he walks upstage then downstage with this confident strut that you can’t help but feel mesmerized by. You notice a theme of blue in their outfits but are drawn specifically to the design on the guitarist’s suit, covered in stars and astrological symbols of the Taurus, paired with dark boots. It’s honestly beautiful.

As you’re admiring what he’s wearing, you take a moment to truly look at him. He has long brown hair with a slight wave to it, falling an inch or two below his collarbones. His eyebrows are dark and quite thick, knit tightly as he’s concentrating on what he’s playing. His eyes are equally as dark, though it's hard to tell their exact hue from this many feet away.

You catch yourself staring for too long and want to make the effort to shift your eyes elsewhere and as you do, his eyes meet yours. It’s a concert, of course the band is going to make eye contact with their fans, it’s a small pit. But he seems to hold his gaze for several seconds to the point where you think he might actually be looking at you specifically. You give him a shy smile, which he returns, and then moves on with the song.

The rest of the song continues and you think you’re really starting to like Greta Van Fleet, the music is truly fantastic. The singer’s voice is beautiful and like nothing you’ve ever heard before. Suddenly he stops and the guitarist approaches the end of the stage, seemingly for his guitar solo. It’s nothing short of amazing, the way that he plays the guitar is so captivating, it’s like your eyes can’t look away.

You hear the crowd go insane for it, screaming things like “Yeah Jake!” “Do it, Jakey!” “Fuck it up!!” and you’re sure that he’s eating it all up. Jake, you think to yourself. Interesting. It becomes clear that the girls go crazy for him and you know that must give him some sort of complex. He seems so confident and you can’t blame him, with all the praise that he’s receiving- praise that is very well-deserved.

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All of the following songs go the same exact way. You can’t seem to take your eyes off of Jake. You’ve also deeply fallen in love with their music and the love that it emits. You feel very glad about your decision to go to the concert tonight- you can feel that this has changed the course of your life in some way. Throughout the show, you notice that sometimes Jake would catch you watching him, which you didn’t mind. Surely he was used to being watched on stage like that, in amazement and admiration. You truly do admire him and his talent, it’s something very special. All of his riffs are so satisfying to hear and the chords blend so perfectly.

Once the encore ends, the band goes to leave the stage. You watch Jake as he walks toward the end of the stage, which you assume is to hand out his guitar picks before leaving for the night. Much to your surprise, he looks right at you as he leans over and tosses it to you. Your cheeks turn a shade of pink and you look up at him, smiling and thanking him. What a night to remember. You think that this would be it, but you are dead wrong.

You and Sophie turn to exit the pit, which takes some time considering how close you are to the front. You’re eventually able to exit the theatre and wait on the sidewalk for a game plan. “So… you wanna go to the Tavern?” Sophie asks. The Tavern is your go-to bar in Beverly Hills; it has a good atmosphere, great cocktails, and isn’t too far from campus. You and Sophie go there at least once every weekend, they all know your names there. You glare at her with a concerned look, “Soph, I have such a big exam tomorrow, are you serious?” She rolls her eyes, “Come on! Live a little! You’re telling me you don’t wanna at least get a little drunk to take your mind off of it? We just saw an amazing show, let’s go celebrate!”

Sophie always knew how to convince you to do anything, no matter what it was. She knew your weaknesses every time. You groan, “Ugh, fine. But if you have to wake my ass up tomorrow at 2 pm for my exam because I’m too hungover, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.” She smiles wide and says “I know, I know. I’ve already called the Uber to take us there now.” Cheeky girl, she knew she’d convince you.

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It's already midnight by the time you arrive at the Tavern. The last call is always at 1 am so you know that you won't be there too long. You both walk in and find your favorite booth in the back, placing your jackets down before going up to the bar to order your drinks. Sophie orders you both a shot of tequila, then gets herself a margarita. You order a bourbon punch and turn back to take a seat in your booth. You both take your shots when you sit down, then you debrief tonight’s events.

“So, what did you think of the band? Did you like them?” Sophie asks.

“Yeah, it was amazing actually. I don’t know how I hadn’t found them before now. The music that they make is extraordinary,” you reply with a smile. You do have some questions, though. “So what’s their deal? The lore?”

“Oh, well they’re from Michigan. They’re actually brothers, besides the drummer- though they all grew up together. Josh, the singer, and Jake, the guitarist, are twins.” You nod your head. I did think they looked alike, you think to yourself. “Sam is their younger brother, and Danny is his best friend. They’ve been making music for a while but they blew up a lot in like 2019 and then this new album skyrocketed their fame.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me. This album is absolutely breathtaking. From what I heard tonight, their music is so mind-blowing. It really took my breath away,” you explain.

“I knew you'd love it. I’m so glad that you’re into them now. Especially Jake, it seemed,” she smirked.

You reach over to smack her on the arm and exclaim, “Sophie! That’s crazy! I don’t know where you got that idea! I was not into him.” The blush that’s made its way to your face tells a different story, however.

“You so were! You couldn’t take your eyes off of him that entire show, I watched you. I think he might’ve been looking at you too, you know,” she jests. Just the thought that Jake might have been actually interested in you made your stomach turn. You shake your head.

“No, Soph. There’s no way. Sure, we might have locked eyes once or twice, but there were thousands of people there. I’m sure he looks at all of his fans like that…” you trail off, wanting to shut this conversation down as soon as possible to save yourself from any further embarrassment. You pick up your glass, which is half empty, then chug the whole thing. “Oh, look at that, my drink is gone. I’m gonna go get another, I’ll be back.” You smirk at her, successfully avoiding the conversation for now, and then get up from your seat to walk back to the bar.

As you approach the bar, there’s a group of men leaning against it, ordering drinks. You go to stand on the right of them to wait your turn and the man next to you senses your presence and turns to look at you. As he turns in your direction, you see the long chestnut hair and are met with dark chocolate eyes. You’re immediately hit with the realization: Oh my god. It’s Jake.

He looks at you and offers a soft smile as a greeting. “Hi…” you manage to let out, looking up at him. “Hey,” he replies. You glance behind him and see the rest of the band. Oh my GOD. Greta Van Fleet is at my bar. You just stand there leaning against the bar for a moment looking at him, unsure of what to say next. You find yourself looking him up and down, analyzing what he’s wearing off the stage.

He has on a different pair of boots now, a light brown color. He's wearing some tattered blue jeans and a navy blue, long-sleeved button-up shirt, of which the top four buttons are undone, leaving his upper chest partially exposed. The lighting in the Tavern reflects off of it in such a mesmerizing way. You realize that you’ve been staring for far too long and go to say something, but luckily he beats you to it.

“Were you at our show tonight? I think I remember your face…” Jake says, looking into your eyes as though he’s piercing right into your soul, studying you. You feel stuck, though you’re not sure why. Up until today, you weren’t a fan of theirs and you wouldn’t have thought anything about this interaction at all whatsoever. So why were you so flustered? You finally work up the courage to answer.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was there. It was… spectacular,” you say with a shy smile, finally meeting his gaze. He smiles back at you when your attention is suddenly pulled away by the sound of a loud voice coming from behind him.

“You really liked it? I’m so glad. I get so in my head sometimes, y’know, I was so nervous. So it’s lovely to hear that I didn’t totally crash and burn.” The man that you now understand to be Jake’s curly-headed twin reaches over the bar past Jake and extends his hand out to you. “I’m Josh, by the way,” he adds with a wide smile. You reach your hand out to shake his, in total shock that this is actually happening.

“Hi, Josh. I’m Y/N, which I was just about to tell your brother here…” you joke, making him realize that he’d accidentally interrupted something. He makes an “oh that’s awkward” kind of face and pulls at his collar, causing you to laugh. Jake watches as you interact with his twin with a look on his face that you can’t quite place. Like he’s trying to figure you out.

“Sorry about him, Y/N, sometimes he just speaks first and then thinks after,” you hear from further down the bar. You look up to see that voice coming from Sam next to him, who gets a shove from his older brother and erupts into contagious laughter. You watch Danny shake his head, chuckling, and you laugh along with them. Jake looks over at you, smiling. You smile back at him and he speaks up, drawing your attention back to him and him alone.

“What are you drinking, Y/N?” he asks. “Oh, um, a bourbon punch,” you answer. “Another bourbon punch for this lovely lady here, please,” he says to the bartender, “You can put it on my tab.” You look at him in shock and try to protest but he sees it coming, saying “No, I insist. As a thank you, for your support and for making my brother happy for a moment there with your compliment- he’s easy to please.”

He leans one arm onto the counter and smirks at you as the bartender places your drink down in front of you. “Cheers, sweetheart,” Jake says, raising his glass to yours. You glance down at the glass to see what he’s drinking, which seems to be whisky, neat. It suits him. You smile at him and say “Cheers” and take a sip of your fresh drink. His eyes are looking into yours so intently that it almost feels like they’re burning into you. Something about him is so intriguing yet slightly intimidating that you want to learn more.

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“Are you here alone?” he asks. “Oh, no, I’m here with a friend. She’s back there at our table.” Jake looks behind you to see Sophie, who has been intently watching this entire interaction unfold. He smiles and gives her a little wave to come over, so she stands up and comes up to the bar. “Would you both like to join us for a round? We have a larger booth upstairs with a few of our friends.” His eyes look down at you for an answer, waiting and hoping for a yes. Before you can answer, Sophie chimes in to answer for you, “We’d love to!” she says, elbowing your side to encourage you to agree and you nod along. “Yeah, sure, we can stay for a bit longer,” you reply, looking up at Jake, who seems satisfied with that answer.

The rest of the guys get their drinks and you follow them up the winding staircase to the large booth that they reserved. When you arrive at the table, you see a few other people waiting there whom you assume to be part of their management, security, and some personal friends. Danny and Sam slide in first to the left to join their friends and Josh goes for an open spot on the right side. Jake extends his hand out, offering for you to take a seat between them, and then slides in on the left next to you. Sophie opts to sit next to Sam on the end, across from you.

You both introduce yourselves to the rest of the group. Their friends seem unsurprised that they managed to make friends in the short time they’ve been in the bar. From the few minutes you’ve spent with them, you can tell that their social and charismatic tendencies would likely often lead to new friendships everywhere they go. It’s something you’re starting to admire about them.

As you’re getting to know the group, it’s impossible not to notice Jake’s eyes on you. He’s studying you as you speak, watching the way your lips move and admiring you. It’s difficult to ignore, though you try your best to. He starts speaking and you turn your head to look at him, taking the time to look him over as well. You look at his eyes, mostly, a mesmerizing dark chocolate color that turns into amber when the light touches them. His nose is straight and pointed, his lips look soft and full.

He catches you staring at him, just for a moment, and uses the opportunity to place his right hand on your knee, exposed by the large rips in your jeans, rubbing small circles on top of it. It makes you jump a little at first touch, startled by his actions. You couldn’t believe this was real life. You look up at him and you both lock eyes. It falls silent for a moment and Josh starts a conversation with Daniel across the table, everyone else engaging and chiming in. Jake takes this opportunity to lean into your ear a bit to talk to you on his own, which he’s been dying to do.

“I know you were watching me earlier, at the show…” he whispers in your ear, loud enough only for you to hear. Your heart nearly stops, but he continues. “It’s okay, you know, I don’t mind it. If anything, I kind of liked it,” he says, his breath feeling hot on your skin. “Maybe I was,” you answer shyly, turning your face toward him a bit so that he can hear you more clearly. Your eyes meet and you watch as his eyes quickly dart to your lips, then back up to look at you once more.

“I was watching you too,” he says, sliding his hand a bit higher above your knee, resting on your inner thigh, slightly gripping it. “Watching you study me… and how my fingers worshipped the strings…” he continues, leaning closer to your ear, his lips grazing lightly over it. Shivers run down your back and continue down toward your core, causing you to silently yearn for more. You inhale deeply, then ask “And what did you think about that, Jake?” saying his name in a honeyed tone, causing him to squeeze your thigh and look deep into your eyes, piercing through them. You knew exactly what he was thinking, but you wanted to hear him say it. You wanted to be absolutely sure that what you thought was about to happen was actually happening.

“Do you wanna go outside for a smoke, Y/N?” Jake asks, slightly loud enough so that the others can hear. Sophie looks at you, smirking; she clearly can tell exactly what’s going on. She nods at you, encouraging you to go. “Uh, yeah Jake, sure,” you mutter, a bit awkwardly. You weren’t expecting him to try and get you alone, you had felt all this time that he was just playing with you. It’s clear now, though, that this was not a game.

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He stands up from the booth and offers his hand to help you up as well. Despite the dark aura that surrounds him, he still appears to be quite the gentleman. You stand up from the booth, shoot Sophie a nervous look, and then turn around to head back down the stairs. Jake follows closely behind you.

You get to the bottom of the stairs and head to the back of the Tavern to go out the back door, to the smoking area. It’s an outdoor patio behind the bar, illuminated with low-lit string lights and decorated with some picnic tables with a few ashtrays. You exit through the door and turn around to face him as the door closes silently behind him. His eyes are darker now, piercing into you as he approaches you. You back up slowly until the backs of your legs hit one of the tables and then sit on the edge of it while Jake takes out a pack of Marlboro Reds and a black lighter from his back pocket.

He pulls a cigarette out of the pack, places it between his lips, and then brings the lighter up to light it. He takes a long drag out of it and blows it to the side, avoiding blowing any smoke in your face, then steps closer to you until he’s standing between your legs, only inches away from you. He puts the cigarette down to sit on the ashtray for a moment and he finally speaks.

“Y/N/ I can’t seem to stop thinking about you. You’ve captivated me from the second the lights turned up on that stage tonight. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you…” he says, bringing his hand up to your cheek and running his thumb along your cheek. He’s watching your eyes, how they look up at him with anticipation, waiting for him. He can feel the power that he has over you.

“I can’t stop thinking about you either… Seeing you for the first time on stage tonight has caused you to completely take over my thoughts ever since. No matter how hard I tried to watch the others, my eyes kept getting drawn right back to you. It was like I couldn’t control it,” you say, glancing down at his lips and then back to his eyes longingly. “I don’t feel like I can control myself around you, baby… I’m being tempted to throw out all of my rules for you,” Jake says in a low whisper, bringing his face closer to yours.

Your eyes look up at his, pleading. He can’t hold himself back anymore, finally closing the gap between you. He kisses you so deeply that it takes the air out of your lungs. He leans into you and his hand that was once on your cheek grasps the back of your neck tightly, causing you to let out a quiet whimper. Just the sound of it lights a fire within him, he takes his other hand to hold your hip in place and groans into your mouth. You place your hands around his neck and pull him closer to you, your bodies now flush together.

Jake pulls away, his face still only a few inches from yours, and tries to catch his breath. His left hand squeezes your hip as the other leaves your neck in order to reach behind you to grab his cigarette, still lit. He takes a drag from it blowing it to the side, but keeps his eyes locked on yours and watches as you stare at his lips when he blows the smoke out. He takes note of your interest in the way he’s blowing the smoke and says, “Open your mouth.”

You immediately obey, knowing you’d do anything he asks you to, and open your mouth. He takes another drag of the cigarette and kisses you again, blowing the smoke into your mouth and you breathe it in as you lean into the kiss. This elicits another moan from him, clearly turned on by the act. He leans into you harder and bucks his hips into you slightly, trying to release some tension. You moan quietly into his mouth at the sensation, your desire starting to pulsate between your legs.

His lips leave your mouth and place kisses along your jaw then down your neck, causing you to let out a small sigh. “You don’t even know what you do to me, sweetheart,” Jake mutters against your skin. He brings his mouth back to yours and kisses you once more, but you pull yourself away.

“Jake… I want this. I want you, but… not now.” He looks disappointed by your words but backs away slightly, sliding both of his hands down to your waist. “I’m sorry, I just- I have this big exam tomorrow and I’ve already stayed out so much later than I ever even intended to. I have to go home.”

He nods his head in understanding, then it seems like a lightbulb lights up in his head. He smiles and says, “Come to the show tomorrow night, then. Please… I need to see you again. I want to see you front and center when I play.” You’re taken aback completely at his kind offer. You know you need to see him again too, and you’d like nothing more than to watch them perform again. You nod your head, “Oh, Jake. I would love to go. That’s so sweet,” you say, smiling bashfully. Jake’s face lights up at your answer, “It’s gonna be a great show, baby. You won’t regret it. I’ll have Jenn email you the tickets as soon as we get back to our hotel, one for Sophie too.” You thank him and place a soft peck on his cheek, causing a hue of pink to form there. You both go back inside and return to your friends upstairs.

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“Soph, you ready to go home?” you ask her. “I really gotta get up for this midterm tomorrow,” you explain to the others, who all nod and wish you luck. Sophie nods and says goodnight to everyone. Jake offers to walk you both out to the bus stop to wait for the bus to take you back to your apartment. Sophie goes to sit on the bench as you wait a bit behind with Jake.

He places a soft goodnight kiss on your lips and you hum into it and smile as he brings his hand up to cup your cheek. “Here, let me see your phone,” he says, taking it and typing in his phone number, putting his contact name as “Sir Jacob ⚔️”, which makes you giggle. “Text me when you make it home safe, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says with a smirk. “See you tomorrow, Jake,” you reply as he turns back to the front door of the Tavern. He turns back around and gives you a soft smile, and you wave goodbye before he goes back inside.

You turn around and sit down on the bench next to Sophie, who finally wants to know all of the details. The bus arrives and you fill her in on everything on the ride home, causing her to laugh and scream in excitement, much to the dismay of the other exhausted people who are on the city bus at one o’clock in the morning. You tell her that he’s sending you tickets for both of you to go to the next show tomorrow night and that he’s asking security to put you in the front row, which she is so psyched about.

You both finally arrive home and you take your makeup off, put some comfier clothes on, and collapse into bed. What a night, you think to yourself. It was nothing like you ever could have imagined. You turn over and plug your phone in, then open up the messages app and type in “Sir Jacob ⚔️”.

You: home safe <3

Sir Jacob ⚔️: Good. Sweet dreams, beautiful.

You: goodnight, jake

You place your phone down on your bedside table and flop down on your back, letting out a long sigh. You think about your exam tomorrow and the excitement that will come thereafter. You wonder where tomorrow night will lead you as you close your eyes and try to fall asleep. God, what have I gotten myself into?

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this story will be continued... comment to be added to the taglist! thank you so much for reading!

part two

[keyofjetwolf]

So I ran the 5k this weekend.

By which I mean I walked the 5k.

This was my first "race". I signed up in January-ish, as a way to help motivate me to get my shit together, healthy-speaking. It didn't work. Or, rather, I didn't work.

I've fallen way off my path toward some modicum of health and fitness. I missed some major goals and was furious with and disgusted in myself. Rather than use that as a stick to encourage me forward however, I beat myself into the ground with it. HI HELLO WELCOME TO OUR SAME OLD TIRED BULLSHIT THIS IS ALWAYS SO HELPFUL TO US. But I varied it up! Since I no longer really have the luxury of being a perpetual sad sack, dragging my failures up on stage to consistently, cruelly, delightfully abuse myself with and about, I shoved it all into a box in the corner and ignored it. Problem solved!

Except of course that included focusing on, you know, SOLUTIONS. Ignoring a thing literally never solved the thing, and I knew that, and kept resurfacing and poking and needling, but I am like Olympic-level procrastination sometimes, and kept punting it down the road. "That's a problem for Future Jet Wolf, and I hate that cunt, fuck her!" is a joke I make often and laugh at always, but of course eventually Future Jet Wolf becomes Now Jet Wolf and there's no more road, just a big ol' ball of problems kicked right smack in the middle of my confused, startled gob. What?? Who could have possibly foreseen??!

So it was when the 5k arrived. I didn't want to do it. In the days leading up, my brain -- cunning hateful bitch she can be -- started whispering all the extremely logical and justifiable reasons excuses to not. "Yeah," I agreed, "but we gotta."

The whisper reached full on panicked crescendo yesterday morning. I don't know if it was self-sabotage, or just the universe having its usual fun, but everything went wrong. I couldn't find my shirt and shorts, buried somewhere in the piles of clean clothes I have yet to put away (another club wielded with great effectiveness before the day was out). By the time I dug up replacements, I was late in the shower, thus late out the door. I grabbed my watch and my headphones, but despite never having difficulty before, could get neither to work. I drove the wrong way and twisted myself around getting to the park where the race was to start. When I finally arrived, I couldn't tell where we were to gather. There were participants everywhere, walking about, but no central gathering that I could see. Signs were posted, but sporadically, and to my eyes, random and contradictory. The race was moments from starting.

I want to say I brushed all this aside without effort, that I bravely and confidently pressed onward and sorted things out. I want to say that. What actually happened is I found a quiet and -- jesus wept, I hope it was -- hidden spot and cried for a minute. Maybe two. Reasons Excuses formed on my lips and they tasted sweet. Hell, if I spun this right, it would be HILARIOUS. Another "Oh, that Theodore Nickels!" story. We would tell it around the Shabbat table and have a grand laugh.

I've not yet found my way to any point of pride in this overlong and deeply unflattering tale, but if I get there, it's likely in this moment, where I wiped my face on my shirt, pushed away from the wall, and resumed my search for the starting line.

Then I was there. The race was to begin at 9:45, not 9:30 like I thought, so I had a solid ten minutes. Got my watch rebooted. Found the headphone manual online and successfully powered it up. When the race began, I took one step forward, then another. 51 minutes later, I crossed the finish line. I had completed my first race.

I was deeply, violently disappointed in myself. The vitriol began immediately. What a pathetic effort. Humiliating. Barely a fraction of what what Doc and Mike accomplished, and done excruciatingly poorly at that. Shameful, laughable, grotesque, thesaurus.com etc etc blah blah blah. On and on, all goddamn day, until I found it as boring as I did upsetting.

PLUS SIDE: the more it goes on, the easier it gets to ignore a constant hateful drone.

LEGIT HILARIOUS ATTEMPT AT BONUS POINTS: my brain seized my lack of creativity in ongoing self-abuse and added that to the evidence list of my suckage BABYGIRL I CANNOT TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY RIGHT NOW ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL

Right, then, so what the fuck? If it were literally anybody but myself, I'd be cheering them on. YOU DID THE THING. Doing the thing is objectively more accomplished than NOT doing the thing. What did I realistically expect? That I'd take top prize in the first race I'd ever done with a preparation level I'd managed to sink into the negative? And would that have even mattered? What result would have appeased? What achievement would translate to victory?

24 hours later, I still don't really have answers. It might be pent up derision at myself for that previous goal-failure and backslide which I'm now directly confronting instead of ignoring. It might be some weird twisted preservation thing of the "you can't fail if you don't try" flavour of bullshittery. It might be the desperation of a destructive streak unwilling to allow improvement without a vicious bloody battle. All of this? At the very least, I think, some.

I forget, sometimes, more times than I'd like, that the meds don't fix everything, they simply keep the shit I can't control at bay so I can focus on the work. Work's still gotta be done, kiddo. That's on you.

Last night, I registered for my next 5k.

I'll definitely remember how to turn on my headphones. One improvement, NAILED. Not sure what #2 will be, but I've got three weeks. Time for work.

[breadqueen95]

Dress - Bucky Barnes

bucky barnes x fem!reader

wc: 5k

plot: bucky and y/n’s relationship is new, and they don’t want to share with their friends just yet. but something as simple as a dress can change anyone’s mind, even the winter soldier. 

content warnings: kissing. physical affection. flirting. allusions to sex. drinking. being drunk. language. bucky being a flirt. 

a/n: this is for @natasha-romancff and her taylor swift writing challenge! it took me awhile, but i’ve had a ton of fun writing this. so many bucky fics are angsty, and rightly so the man has some TRAUMA. but for my first bucky fic, based on dress by taylor swift, i wanted something happier for him 

***

Damn. That was a lot of leg.

“I don’t know,” you muttered as you stared into the mirror, “aren’t these things…a little classier than this?”

“Uh…have you met Tony Stark?” Natasha grumbled as she continued to scroll through her phone. “The man has never been classy a day in his life.”

“Well I know he isn’t, but fancy people show up to these things. I just don’t want to embarrass myself.” You were currently standing in front of the full-length mirror in Wanda’s room, staring at the reflection of a woman who didn’t quite look like you.

But it was you, wasn’t it? It was just…that you was wearing a very short, very sexy red cocktail dress. The sweetheart neckline was a nice touch, but the back was completely open. And that hemline? Definitely hiked way up past your knees.

“Y/n, relax,” Wanda reassured in her lilting accent, “sure, the dress is a little…spicier…than you’re used to, but it’s in a good way.”

“I’m pretty sure every single person would be able to tell I spend my days in tactical gear. God, I’m not sure I even know how to walk in heels this high!”

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Natasha threw her phone down and looked at you in the mirror. Her eyebrows were raised, and she was giving you her usual ‘don’t give me that shit’ look. It nearly had you shaking in your very strappy black heels.

“Are you kidding me, y/n? I’ve seen you strut in enough fancy parties during undercover missions to know that you’ve got this.”

“Yeah,” Wanda scoffed as she took a sip of red wine from her glass, “all she’s nervous about is what Bucky will think.”

Rolling your eyes, you tried to hide how much that sentence affected you.

“C’mon, Wanda. You know Bucky and I are just friends.”

“Do friends undress each other with their eyes whenever they’re in the same room?”

Damn it. Damn Wanda and her stupid perceptiveness.

“You’re reading too much into it, Wanda.” She just laughed at you, acting like she knew so much better.

What you knew and wasn’t ready to admit to your two best friends, was that she was right on the money.

Bucky Barnes, the infamous Winter Soldier, your favorite person in the entire world, was now your boyfriend. He had been for a few weeks now. The two of you were insanely private people. Hell, it had been years before the two of you had finally learned everything about each other. Once you had gotten past the walls the other had so carefully crafted, well…

At that point you were in love.

But the others didn’t need to know that, not yet at least. The Avengers were a family, your family. They were really the only true family you’d ever had. But Bucky…Bucky was finally yours. And you were his. You didn’t think it was crazy to just want to enjoy that, just the two of you, without everyone else sharing their jokes and opinions just yet. They did it out of love, you both knew that, but you just wanted him all to yourself.

As you looked back at your reflection in the mirror, you took a minute to really consider what Bucky’s reaction might be. He had the best poker face in the room no matter who he was with, but you knew him well enough to know how he was feeling just based on his eyes. He’d always said how much he loved red on you, and he adored every and any excuse to touch your skin. Those steel blue eyes of his would absolutely burn once he saw you in this dress.

And fuck, that was something you really wanted to see.

“Well, if you aren’t going to wear that dress, you better pick something else,” Nat said, jerking you from your fantasies, “we need to be there in twenty minutes, and we all need to touch up our makeup.”

“Actually…I think I’ll wear it,” you said confidently, trying to hide your grin as you ran your hands down the silky fabric.

What you didn’t see was Natasha and Wanda sharing a secret smirk behind you, like they’d known what you’d do the whole time.

***

Six weeks ago, everything had changed for you and Bucky.

You’d known how you felt for a long time. Bucky Barnes, despite his past, was the kind of man anyone could fall in love with. He was sincere, kind, generous, witty…everything you’d ever wanted in a partner. He had been your best friend for even longer.

It had been a long time before you could even admit your feelings to yourself, let alone to him. After everything the two of you had been through, who had the time and mental capacity for romance? It just didn’t seem important. You just chalked up your feelings to being such close friends. All you wanted was to be near him, even if you just sat in silence doing different things. Just being in the same room as Bucky brought you a sort of peace you’d never had before. Whenever he touched you, even if it was just a brief hug or brushing your back to get past you, your skin erupted into goosebumps. But that was just because physical touch was still foreign to you, right?

And his smile. God, his wonderful smile…

Bucky didn’t smile much. He hid behind a mask of stoicism, a remnant from the trauma of his horrible history as the Winter Soldier. Showing any sort of emotion, especially happiness, was hard for him. But when he finally let himself smile? It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever see.        

It took several sleepless nights wrestling with those confusing feelings to figure it out. You didn’t just see Bucky as your best friend. You had it bad. Not just “oh my god he’s so handsome” bad, like the “I would take a bullet for you I’m so in love” bad. That revelation? It left you euphoric. It also left you scared.

Because you were so sure Bucky didn’t feel the same. And that thought was like a knife to the heart every time it flashed through your mind.

So you kept it to yourself. You tried to keep things as normal as possible, but your heart kept fluttering whenever he walked into a room. Being so close to Bucky meant you confided in each other about pretty much everything, and he knew you well enough to know you were hiding something.

It all exploded on a Tuesday night in the compound.

Tuesdays were your movie nights. Bucky had a lot of pop culture to catch up on, so on this night every week he would come by your room to watch a movie. It was a weekly tradition that kind of started by accident. You were shocked he still hadn’t made time to watch Lord of the Rings, so you forced him onto your couch with popcorn and The Fellowship of the Ring. He loved it so much, and immediately asked if you guys could watch The Two Towers the next week. How could you say no to him?

Tonight, you were watching 13 Going on 30. It was your all-time favorite romcom, and you figured you could both use a break from all the action and fantasy movies you’d been cycling through. Something with a happy ending was worth indulging in.

“Does that Matt guy look like Banner to you? Or is it just me?” Bucky asked through a mouthful of popcorn.

“Heh, maybe a little,” you said, “Give or take a few years.” He laughed at that, and you forced yourself to laugh quietly. You wanted to blurt out your feelings every time you looked at Bucky, so you’d gotten quieter and quieter every time you spent time with him. It was an awful reaction, and you knew he noticed. But it was better than losing his friendship, right?

After that awful and painfully obvious forced laugh, Bucky let out a huge sigh and paused the movie. He set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table in front of the couch, then turned to face you. Exasperation and hurt glimmered in his eyes.

“Y/n, what the fuck is going on with you?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Oh come on, don’t give me that,” he said sharply, “I know you better than anyone, and I know for a fact there’s something you’re not telling me. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, god no!” You exclaimed.

“Well it must be something I did, because you’ve never been this quiet around me and it keeps getting worse. I hate it, and I want to know what I did so I can fix it.”

“Bucky, I’m serious, it’s nothing you did—”

“Then why? Why are you shutting me out?” He cut you off angrily, arms thrown wide. “You’re my best friend, I just don’t get why—”

“I don’t want you like a best friend, Bucky!” Your eyes went wide as the words flew from your lips. In the most comical way, you clapped your hand over your mouth as if you could stop the words that had already been said. Bucky’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

Oh fuck. He didn’t get it. Curse him and his old man ways.

“What does that even mean, Y/n? Are you saying you don’t want me around anymore?”

“Bucky, of course not. God, I would never want that. Never in a million years.”

“Then you better explain, because if you haven’t noticed, I’m over 100 years old. I need a little help here.”

“It means, uh…um,” you stuttered, wringing your hands together. “Is there any chance we can just forget I said that?”

“Nope, not a chance.”

“It means…it means that I care about you. As more than a friend.”

His entire face seemed to crinkle as he processed that. If you weren’t freaking out, you’d be obsessing over how damn cute it made him look. Then his eyes got wide as he began to make the connection. Your stomach nearly fell out of your ass as his eyes lifted again to meet yours.

“I…I think I know what you’re saying,” he nearly whispered, “I just need you to get real specific real fast, because I’m not about to say anything until I know exactly what you mean.”

“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” You burst out. Even through your mortification, there was a sudden sense of relief. A secret as big as that had definitely been weighing you down. Now that it was out there, that was one less thing you had to worry about.

His eyes grew even wider. How that was possible, you didn’t even know. That beautiful mouth of his began to turn up into a small smile as he gazed softly at you.

“You’re in love with me?” He asked, his smile getting wider with each passing second.

“What, you need it carved into stone or something?” You couldn’t help but sass him. Did you fucking stutter?

“No, it’s just…I never thought you’d feel that way about me.”

“Well, clearly I do. So you – wait, you mean you’ve thought about this before?”

“Of course I have,” he said as he shrugged, “I’ve been in love with you for two years now, how could I not think about it?���

You were instantly filled with warmth and pure bliss. In all your obsessing over your own feelings, you’d never allowed yourself to consider that he might feel the same about you. It just didn’t seem possible.

“I’m sorry,” you burst out, holding a hand up, “you’re telling me you’ve been into me for two years and didn’t say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” He shot back, inching closer to you.

“Because you’re my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you because of stupid feelings I have.”

“But…I have those same ‘stupid feelings’ for you. So can we just cut the whole act and get on with it?” Bucky brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing along your skin so gently.

“Uh…um…get on with what?”

“Well I’d kinda like to kiss you, if you’re cool with it.”

“Bucky Barnes did you just use current slang to ask if you could kiss me?” You didn’t move an inch as his face moved right in front of yours, breath intermingling as you gazed into each other’s eyes. God, was this really happening?

“Yeah, guess your lessons worked,” he murmured.

“Well you better kiss me, then.”

As soon as your lips met, it was like coming home.

***

That memory, your favorite memory, replayed in your head as the three of you stepped into the elevator. Nat and Wanda were happily chatting about who would be there, what kind of antics Tony would cook up tonight, if there would be music we could actually dance to. You know, normal party things.

All you could think about was how long you had to stay until you could sneak off with your boyfriend.

You were so happy Wanda and Natasha had convinced you to wear this dress. When you’d first put it on, the difference from your normal look was so jarring that it took you a few minutes to get used to it. But now that you had, now that you felt the silky fabric shifting against your skin as you moved, now that you saw how dangerously long your legs looked in these heels…

Damn, you felt sexy.

And that sexy feeling? It made you want Bucky’s hands all over you.

But this was a party. A party thrown by Tony Stark, one of the most perceptive and observant people you’d ever met. If you left too soon, if he thought you weren’t “having enough fun”, he’d be more than a little upset. So you had to stay, drink, mingle, maybe dance a little…and then, maybe later, you could go do what you actually wanted.

The elevator pinged, indicating you had reached the topmost floor of the compound. This floor was home to a huge communal space, often used for just hanging out with the team. But on nights like tonight, Tony went all out and turned the space into something that resembled…a club?

The three of you stepped out into the massive room, upbeat music already blasting from the speakers. Typical Tony – he never really outgrew his love for dancing and parties. The bass thrummed through your body, making you want to move to the music. The lights were dim, but you could still tell who was around. It looked like you were some of the last members of the team to arrive. There was a huge bar off to the side, and Natasha headed that way right away. You turned to ask Wanda if she wanted to follow Nat, but she was already making a beeline for Vision. Smiling, you just turned right back around to follow Natasha. A drink sounded pretty good right now.

As you made your way to the bar, you felt more than a few pairs of eyes on you as you walked. You sneakily looked around as you went, noticing men and women watching you with admiration, and dare you say it, longing. As someone whose job was to blend in with the background all the time, this was a different and slightly addictive feeling. You leaned on the bar next to Nat right as the bartender slid her drink over to her.

“Straight whiskey tonight? Damn, going hard.” You quipped.

“Hey now, you know I can handle my liquor. It’s you we need to watch out for, you lightweight.”

Laughing, you scanned the party guests, looking for the one person you wanted to see. Tony had had arm around Pepper’s waist, both laughing at something Rhodey had said. Bruce lingered around them, drink in hand and looking a little nervous, but still happy to be included. Wanda and Vision were sitting quietly on one of the couches, both looking absolutely smitten with each other. Scott Lang, one of the newest additions, was busting some moves, while Peter Parker laughed as he watched. Thor, who was visiting from Asgard, laughed boisterously as he watched various guests try to lift his hammer. You couldn’t help the smile growing on your face. You loved these people so much.

Then, you saw him.

Bucky was with Sam and Steve, as usual. But even as Sam and Steve were talking animatedly next to him, those gorgeous blue eyes of his were glued to you. There was a kind of intensity in them you hadn’t seen before. Your breath whooshed from you body as he grinned at you. Trying to maintain the suggestive image your dress gave you, you managed to send a flirtatious smile his way, then turned back around to face the bar. Leaning against the counter, you knew he’d get an eyeful of your bare back. God, this was fun.

The bartender finally made his way over to you, and you ordered two tequila shots.

Nat turned to you, one eyebrow arched in surprise as she asked, “And you say I’m going hard? You can’t just down two shots right away, babe.”

“I’m not doing two shots; you think I’m stupid?” The bartender slid the shots over to you along with two lime wedges. “One is clearly for you.”

Unable to hold back a laugh, Natasha put her arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side as she said, “Why the fuck not, let’s do it.” The two of you went through the process: salt, shot, lime. You couldn’t help but wince as you downed the harsh liquor. Of all the shots in the world, tequila probably tasted the worst. The only reason you kept going for it was the warmth it traced down your body, and you felt your muscles begin to loosen up.

“Two more,” you called over to the bartender.

“Uh, no,” Natasha shot at you, grabbing her whiskey, and pushing off the bar, “I’m good with my top shelf shit, you keep going after that gasoline if you want but I’m out.”

“C’mon, Nat,” you called out, “what am I gonna do with two shots?”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone else, babe.” She said with a wave over her shoulder.

Sighing, you turned back to the ridiculously pretty bar (seriously, how much had Tony paid for this thing?). Who else would help you look cool and sexy at a bar for your secret boyfriend?

Okay, that was the cringiest thought you’d ever had. Gross.

As the bartender slid the tequila in front of you, you steeled yourself for the nastiness that was about to happen.

“Fuck, I didn’t think this through,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, you tend to do that,” a deep voice answered on your right. Instead of being the slightest bit surprised, you couldn’t help but smile. You’d know that voice anywhere.

“Something I can do for you, Barnes?” You looked up at him from under your lashes.

“Well, it looks like you’ve got an extra shot there. Thought I could bail you out.”

“Is that all?”

Bucky shifted so that your arms were just barely touching. His hand was right next to yours, and you reached out with your pinky to lightly brush his.

“Doll, you have the gall to show up in that dress and ask what I want as if you don’t already know?”

“Sorry Buck, I’m a little slow, must be the tequila. You should probably be a little clearer.”

Putting on quite the show of reaching for one of the shots, his mouth somehow ended up right next to your ear.

“I want you.”

It was lucky everyone was so distracted and couldn’t see how you shuddered at his words. Trying to maintain brain function, you managed to take the shot with him. You were now fully facing each other. He was wearing the cockiest smirk you’d ever seen, one that would put Tony Stark to shame. You couldn’t help but respond with that same energy despite the jitteriness his three little words had reduced you to.

“Well why don’t you—”

“Hello, my friends!” A booming voice sounded between you as Thor threw a huge arm over each of you. Bucky, with his stupid super soldier strength, didn’t really have a reaction to it. You, on the other hand, stumbled a little under the weight and force of it. “It’s so good to be back with you tiny humans.”

Was…was he slurring his words?

“Thor…are you drunk right now?”

He simply laughed in response. Well, that answered that.

“Of course I am, tiny person! It can’t be a party without good Asgardian wine.”

“Wait…you have literal god wine?” Bucky, who had a look of vague irritation on his face up to this point, now looked interested. Maybe even a little excited?

“Of course, metal appendage.”

“Dude, you can’t just call Bucky ‘metal appendage’—”

“He can if he lets me have some,” Bucky interrupted.

“We have a bargain!” Thor slapped Bucky on the back before scurrying back over to where he had come from, probably to get the wine he had promised.

“Bucky, you can’t even get drunk,” you hissed, “what exactly is the point of this?”

“Since everything happened, I haven’t found any alcohol strong enough to get me drunk. I figure god wine is worth a shot.”

“Bucky—”

“When I kiss you against a wall later, I wanna be a little tipsy,” he whispered in your ear, “that cool with you?”

Unable to keep yourself from smiling again, you nodded as Thor sauntered back over. Ever since that moment a few weeks ago, right before he kissed you for the first time, asking “is that cool with you?” had become your thing.

And the idea of Bucky kissing you against a wall? Yeah, that sounded pretty good.

***

As it turns out, Asgardian wine is just as potent as Thor had promised.

For the first time in over seventy years, Bucky Barnes was certifiably drunk. It made him feel like the Bucky from all those years ago, and it was the most incredible thing. Here he was, over 100 years old, partying, and all his favorite people were here.

Including his ridiculously hot girlfriend.

Even as they both flitted around the party, Bucky and y/n still found each other’s eyes, even from across the room. They would send winks, smiles, even funny faces. All he wanted to do was be right next to her, talk and dance with her all night…

But they had agreed. They wanted to keep their relationship a secret for now, keep the attention off of them for a bit while they got to know each other in this new way.

But god damn, that dress.

Y/n in red was…indescribable. It didn’t matter what she wore, she was always the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. But in red? In this dress?

She was breathtaking.

“Buck, you breathing?”

A hand waved in front of his face, snapping Bucky’s attention back to the people around him from Y/n’s back. He had been imagining putting his hands all over that back later and had gotten more than a little mesmerized. He managed to get his eyes to refocus, finding a drunk Sam smirking right next to him and an even drunker Steve dancing next to him. But what Steve was doing couldn’t really be called ‘dancing’ per say…more like an aggressive wiggle.

“Why wouldn’t I be breathing?” Of all the things he could’ve said to get Sam’s attention off of him, that wasn’t it.

“Uh, probably because the girl you’re in love with decided to show up and show off tonight? Pretty sure you’re drooling, man.”

Despite himself, Bucky slapped a hand across his mouth, only reducing Sam to wheezing laughter. Knowing he had been caught, he rolled his eyes and grimaced a little. Of all the people to catch him, he wished it hadn’t been Sam.

“I wasn’t…staring… at y/n, I just never see her dressed up is all.”

“I never said anything about the girl being y/n.”

“…fuck.”

“LANGUAGE,” Steve yelled out, pointing a finger at his two friends before returning to his shimmying.

Turning back to him, Sam added, “Just go be with her, Buck. You’re not fooling anyone, and neither is she.”

“We’re that obvious?”

“A few weeks ago you’d at least try to hide it. Now I’m surprised you’re not jumping each other’s bones right here right now.”

“Point taken,” Bucky said, lightly slapping Sam’s shoulder before power walking over to his girl.

***

“Nat, if you don’t stop asking about Bucky and I’s relationship, I’m going to kick you,” you called over the music before taking another swig from your glass. It was no Asgardian wine, but the human stuff wasn’t half bad in your opinion. It wasn’t like you could drink the god shit, anyway. If you had even one sip, you’d be swinging from the ceiling like Miley fucking Cyrus. You were pretty drunk as it was.

“Okay, fine,” she said with a shrug as she took a sip of her whiskey, still as calm and collected as ever. “You’re almost as drunk as he is, you’ll be talking soon enough.”

“Oh? Is that your spy master plan?”

Natasha was still looking as unbothered as ever, but as she looked across the room over your shoulder, her face split into a savage grin.

“It was, but it looks like I might not need it.”

“What do you me—”

Your words were cut off as a large, warm hand enclosed around yours. Whirling around, you were suddenly face to face with the man himself. Bucky was clearly having a good time. His mouth was relaxed into the cutest smile you’d ever seen him wear, and he moved without his normal stiffness and intensity. He threaded your fingers together, smiling down at you with so much love it was a wonder Nat hadn’t said anything yet.

Looking back in front of you, ready to explain yourself, you only found empty air. Guess she’d seen all she needed to, but honestly, you really didn’t care. All you’d wanted the whole night was to be exactly where you were right now; hand in hand with the man you loved.

“We’re just kidding ourselves, doll,” Bucky called next to your ear, “Sam said we’ve been pretty obvious.”

“Nat said the same,” you answered with a sheepish smile, “kind of hard to keep my face under control when you’ve got that leather jacket on.”

“You’re blaming me?” He asked with mock indignation. “You’re the one who looks,” he gestured wildly to your whole body, “like that!”

Trying ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks, you shot back, “Like what?”

“Like the most…” he screwed his face up in the most adorable way as he searched for words, “like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” As the last few words tumbled out of his mouth, he gazed at you with such a softness you almost melted right into the floor.

“Wanna get out of here?” You asked, finally giving up the game. It was pointless, really. Now, all you wanted to do was for your boyfriend to keep his promise and kiss you against a wall.

Wrapping an arm around your waist, he answered, “Absolutely.” Without looking at a single soul, the two of you began walking as quickly as you could for the exit. You and Bucky were both leaning on each other a bit, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stepping out into the light of the hallway, you blinked as your eyes adjusted after the dark room you’d spent the last few hours in. Bucky led you until you were right in front of the elevator, and he lazily pressed the button to go up. There was tension in the air between you, like a thread that was being pulled. Biting your lip, you stared at the doors in front of you. You knew if you so much as looked at the man next to you, you’d jump him right then and there.

The shining doors slid open, and the pair of you walked in, his strong arm still around your waist. His grip wasn’t loose in any sense of the word. Bucky kept you right next to him, even as your legs wanted to drift all over the place. You pressed the button for the residential floor.

As soon as those doors slid shut, that thread of tension snapped.

Bucky whirled you to face him, then walked you backward until you were pressed against the wall of the elevator.

“I promised I’d kiss you against the wall, didn’t I?”

He didn’t even wait for a response. His mouth was on yours in an instant, lips moving together like a dance. The kiss was slow and unhurried. You tried to bring him closer, linking your hands behind his neck and pressing yourself to him. Instead of responding in kind, he unwound your arms from around him and pinned them above your head.

Oh damn.

Okay.

No complaints here.

“You’ve been teasin’ me all night just by wearing that dress, sweetheart,” he murmured in between the kisses he trailed down your jaw, “I think it’s my turn.”

“Would it change your mind knowing I only wore this dress so you could take it off?”

The heat that bloomed in those blue eyes of his was unmistakable. As the doors opened on your floor, he swept you up into his arms and began to walk purposefully to his apartment. All the while, he kept that signature cocky smirk of his you’d come to adore.

“Bucky?” You asked once he’d walked into his unit.

“That sentence was the single most attractive thing you’ve ever said,” he murmured as he set you down. Even still, he kept you pressed against him. “But nah, I’m a patient guy. I think I’ll take my time.” He followed this by resuming his slow and sensual kisses, and you couldn’t help but melt into them.

“I love you,” you whispered against his lips.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that, doll. I love you too.”

***

[mjolnir-steve]

To My Heart, He Carries the Key(s)

Steve Rogers x fem!Reader

Word count: 2135 (oop)

Warnings: light drinking (no bad decisions), toothache-inducing fluff, implied smut for .02 seconds

Prompt: Steve / Giving him a lift back to his office after he forgets his keys after a post-mission bar hop - from @syntheticavenger

A/N: Hi, y’all! Here’s my entry for @syntheticavenger’s How It Started - How It’s Going 5K Challenge! This is my first time sharing a fic in seven years, so I’m a little nervous. If I missed any warnings, please let me know! I tried to make the reader as neutral as possible in characteristics, but I do identify as female, so I wanted to be safe and classify this as a female reader. (I also made no mention of height except that Steve is taller than Reader hehe, so I hope taller folks can picture themselves, too.) This was not beta’d because I’m entering at the last minute (typical), so if there’s anything incorrect or that doesn’t make sense, please reach out. :) I hope you enjoy!!!!!

How it started…

Shit.

Your coworker at the local pub called out sick. He was supposed to relieve you at 7:30, leaving you time to freshen up before your date picked you up at 8 PM. It was now 7:55 PM. Your manager wasn’t answering your calls, a sure sign that you should text your date and apologize profusely for canceling at the last minute.

Y/N: Hey, Johnny. So sorry, but I can’t make it tonight. :( My coworker is out sick and no one else can cover. Can we reschedule? 🔥: I was about to text and say I’m running late. All good.

Y/N: Are you busy tomorrow?

When Johnny hadn’t answered you by 9 PM, you weren’t sure how to feel. Your phone lit up with a notification: humantorch81 has added to their story. The little voice in your head told you not to click it, but click it you did. A selfie-style video played, and you watched Johnny take one shot, then a second, then a third… The fourth clip showed him stuffing $100 bills in someone’s cleavage. Douchebag.

Thunderous laughter and applause in the doorway had you closing the app and putting your phone in your back pocket. A group of men came into view. Maybe working tonight wouldn’t be so bad. You recognized one of the men as James (he told you to call him Bucky) Barnes, the former Winter Soldier. He was a regular at the pub, located only a ten-minute drive from the Avengers Compound. Bucky, Sam Wilson, and sometimes Thor frequented the pub, regaling you with tales of both past battles and present gossip. Lucky for you, they also tipped well. You could make out a few more familiar faces, including Tony Stark’s. Okay, they were probably tipping very well tonight.

The door opened once again and you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. In walked Captain America, your childhood crush. Your admiration for him never really subsided. If anything, it was renewed when he was recovered from the ice during your junior year of high school. When you were small, you often would talk about how you were in love with Captain Rogers, making him the subject of your art projects and writing assignments. As you grew up, you saw how silly you’d been and merely appreciated how beautiful and gentlemanly he seemed. Your sanity was well and truly tested, though, the first time you met him, and it turned out he was even more wonderful than you dreamed he’d be. You barely could stand to speak to him, let alone look at him, out of shyness.

Tonight was no different. Seeing Steve standing in front of you with flushed cheeks and tousled hair, you thought your heart might burst or you might start drooling - you weren’t sure which would happen first. Mr. Tall, Blond, and Handsome started making his way towards you, eyes downcast as if he were nervous. Was he nervous? Why would he be nervous to order a drink? From you, of all people?

He finally looked up at you, only to stumble over his own two feet. The blush that had just disappeared returned quickly, tinging his freckled nose and perfect cheeks with the most flattering shade of pink that complemented his sparkling blue eyes. The first time you’d met, he had a full beard. He was clean-shaven now, and although you loved the facial hair on him, his boyish face made him look like a Disney prince. It took everything in you not to swoon.

“Hey, Y/N. Long time, no see.” He let out a short, bashful laugh that made the butterflies in your tummy flutter. He scratched the back of his neck, not quite able to meet your gaze.

“Hi, Captain Rogers!” You judged yourself for sounding so eager to see him. “It’s good to see you. Been a while,” you smiled at him, reaching for a fresh gravity pint glass. “What can I get you? Your usual?” Steve typically started his visits with a pint of Guinness, and then depending on the occasion, he’d order either more of the same or some whiskey.

He began to pull his credit card out of his wallet. “You’re too good to me, doll. And please, can you call me Steve?” He passed his card to you and you put it next to the register. “This may be a long shot, but do you know how to make a Singapore Sling? We’re celebrating after completing a two-month mission tonight, and I’m craving something sweet.” Either you were crazy or Captain Rog- Steve, you corrected yourself - was looking at your lips when he said that.

“Well, Steve,” you said pointedly, “I actually do know how to make one. That’s one of my favorites.”

“No kidding! I hardly order them, but when I do, no one’s even heard of them. I guess my age is showing.” He sat down then, watching you grab the pineapple juice from the refrigerator.

“You don’t look a day over 103, Cap,” you giggled, winking at him. Since when do I giggle?, you thought. Who do I think I am? You managed not to smack your own forehead, though you were sure you’d berate yourself later. “But yeah, my grandmother introduced me to them a few years ago. They were her favorite, and they quickly became mine.” You passed the glass to him, peeking at him from under your lashes as you awaited his reaction.

Steve picked up the glass and raised it to you first before taking a sip. It wasn’t lost on you that his lips apparently were that pink before the bright red liquid ever touched them. “Gosh, this is perfect,” he nearly moaned. For what felt like the millionth time in ten minutes, you felt your face heat up once again. “Thank you so much, Y/N. It’s just like I remember.”

“It’s no trouble at all. I’m glad you like it.” He smiled at you softly, looking like he wanted to say something more. “Go celebrate, Steve. Let me know if you’d like anything else, okay?” You squeezed his hand where it rested on top of the bar. The action felt so natural for some reason, but before he could react, you pulled away, busying yourself with drying glasses.

A few hours and more than a few shots of Asgardian mead later, Steve found himself at the bar with you. He told the others he’d stay behind while you closed up so you wouldn’t be alone. You exchanged stories about your friends and families. You learned that his favorite meal was shepherd’s pie, and that his mom would make it for his birthday every year, even though the tiny apartment would be sweltering hot with the oven on in July. Funnily enough, that was your favorite meal too, both to cook and to eat. You told him you’d love to make it for him sometime, and he said he’d like that very much.

After closing out the register, you turned around to find Steve resting his chin in both of his hands, staring at you with what you only could classify as puppy dog eyes. You’d never noticed how long and dark his lashes were before. You exited from behind the bar, his eyes following you until you stopped beside him. “Ready to go, Cap?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He grabbed your hand and stood up, wobbling a bit. “I’ll drive you home.”

“Oh, nooo, you won’t. You’re in no condition to drive.” He still held onto your hand and started to lead you to the door. “Besides, I only live ten minutes away from the Compound. It’s practically on my way home. I’d be happy to drive you back.” He hummed in agreement and squeezed your hand, a muted show of thanks as he clearly was growing more tired by the minute.

You walked outside and he continued to hold your hand as you locked up, carrying your purse on his opposite shoulder. Even though you were driving, he insisted on opening your car door for you.

The drive was quiet, but pleasantly so. You found yourself relaxed in his presence, something you never would have believed a few hours ago. As nervous as you felt around him, you couldn’t help but think he felt nervous around you, too, and as you got to know each other tonight, those nerves began to dissipate, allowing you to start falling for Steve, for real this time.

“Y/N?” You glanced over at Steve who you thought had been asleep. In fact, he’d been watching you, memorizing your profile and trying to gather the courage to say what was on his mind.

“Steve?”

“You’re so pretty,” he cooed, reaching to brush your cheek with his thumb. “I mean, you’re more than that. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re- dammit.”

You put the car in park since Steve decided to begin his confession just as you were pulling up to his apartment building. He clearly was having a difficult time, undoubtedly worsened by the otherworldly alcohol in his system. You turned to look at him, reaching for his hand, encouraging him to continue.

He took a deep breath, covering your hand with both of his. “What I’m trying to say is, I think you’re lovely and I’ve liked you for quite some time. Would you maybe wanna go out to dinner sometime?” The way his eyes twinkled as they searched your face told you he’d lasso the moon and pull it down for you if you asked him to.

You leaned forward, cupping his cheek with your other hand, to kiss his forehead. “I’d love that, Steve.” The smile on his face could have melted the very ice that once entrapped him. He gave you a soft kiss on the cheek, and you stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the feel of each other so close.

You exchanged numbers, Steve asking you to text him when you arrived home and you promising you would do just that. He reached into his pocket, but to his surprise, his keys were nowhere to be found. He leaned forward, lightly smacking his head on the dashboard. “I hate to ruin this moment, sweetheart, but I must have left my keys in the office building on the other side of campus. I’ll just walk over, okay? Text me when you’re home?” He moved to open his door.

“Steve, don’t be ridiculous,” you chided with a laugh. “It’ll take 30 seconds to drive you over there.” You grabbed his hand, urging him to stay seated.

The drive was quick, and Steve ran in and out of the office even quicker, keys to his apartment in hand. You drove him back to the apartment building again. “I don’t think I forgot anything else now,” he laughed more to himself than to you. “Thank you so much for everything. Good night, Y/N.” He exited the car and before you lost your nerve, so did you.

“Wait!” You followed after him, and he stopped in his tracks. “I forgot something this time.” You stood on your tiptoes and reached for his face, planting your lips on his. Steve’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but he instantly relaxed into you, putting one hand on the side of your neck and the other on your waist.

How it’s going...

You heard your phone ringing in the kitchen, having left it out there to time when the shepherd’s pie would be done baking. You answered immediately after reading the caller ID. “Hey, honey. Everything okay?”

“Hi, sweetheart. Everything’s all right. I can’t wait to see you. Listen, are you home already?”

“Yeah, I took off today, actually. I made you dinner. Are you calling because you forgot your keys?”

“Yes, actually,” he sighed with relief. “I’m glad to know I didn’t lose them. Tony would have been annoyed with me… again.”

Whenever you saw an opportunity to tease Steve, you took it. “It seems you’re becoming forgetful in your advanced age, Old Man Rogers.”

He hummed, the tone of his voice a shade lower than a moment ago. “That’s real funny, sweetheart. I don’t think you were calling me old last night or even this morning, as a matter of fact. I had no trouble keeping up with you then.”

“Steven Grant! Why, I never,” you replied with your best Southern belle impression. Your face suddenly felt warm to the touch, and it wasn’t because the oven was on.

He barked out a laugh. “Maybe I’ll have to remind you how old I’m not when I get home. I’ll see you in an hour, Mrs. Rogers.”

Any reminder that you were married to this man made your heart sing. “I love you, Steve.”

“I love you more.”

[sly-merlin]

KILLING ME - 4

(minor friendly chapter)

pairing : law student! Reader + yuta

Genre : angst, mafia au/arranged marriage au

Warnings : none.

Words : 5k

Summary:

"life's never fair y/n. Realise it as soon as you can. It is the only secret for living a regretless life."

Or

"curiosity got the cat hitched"

K.m masterlist

A/n : this series is totally minor friendly now. ✨

Previous morning in Taeyong’s office

“What was that for!” taeyong questioned jaehyun, clearly annoyed by his previous hostile mannerisms towards you. Jaehyun was on the receiving end of taeyong’s infuriation immediately after you departed from his office with doyoung.

“What!?” Jaehyun tried to act oblivious to Taeyong's accusations.

“Why were you trying to scare her? Escort ring! For fucks sake Jae, I expected better from you.”

“But it wasn’t a dead loss. And even you went along in the same wagon, so don’t put everything on me alone.” Jaehyun justified himself by shrugging his shoulders lightly. “And admit it! She was giving you a hard time. That bitch was not buying anything!

Taeyong knew jaehyun was right. Your unsatisfied replies and never ending enquiries were exasperating him, but he would rather preserve his precious ego than admitting that to jaehyun.

He ruffled his well-made hair before replying to Jaehyun, who was expecting some gratitude with a smug face.

“I-- just be careful and refrain from doing and saying anything that might put a dent in my plan. It’s a chance Neo would never get again. So be patient and don’t go around opening your mouth about this to anyone.” jaehyun reluctantly nodded,not hearing what he wanted but his affirmation calmed taeyong’s nerves. He couldn’t trust jaehyun entirely but his options were limited.

All the pieces were in the right place, for now. Nothing could go south right!

But jaehyun couldn’t completely understand the rationale behind Taeyong’s design.

and nor could the figure standing outside, completely hidden from the insiders.

The dread of the forthcoming finals substantiated the shortage of vacant seats in the kwanjeong library. You tried your best to arrive as expeditiously as possible for a person who partied, got abducted, arranged her own marriage, and again partied in grief, all in spam of about 34 hours. Finding no available seat, you decided to settle down on the floor. You gulped your cup of Americano in one go and began with the donut. As per a wise saying, Caffeine and sugar were the best combination as a breakfast for someone trying to get through their day with only 4 hours of sleep, the intellect being none other than your own self!

Yesterday was a pretty long day. Though you were worn out from the adventures with wonwoo last night, your brain wasn’t exhausted enough to shut down properly when you tried to close your eyes.The flashes of the events had shrouded you with a mixture of regrets and worries. What was the guarantee that you won’t end up dead tomorrow! What if taeyong was lying! But the fact regarding moon industries was absolutely legible. Maybe you should get a restraining order or something! But the existence of a person is necessary for that and yuta was a fucking corporate in the public eye and you were sure taeyong held some powerful position in the rich hierarchy as well, otherwise, covering the shits without revealing their true identities was not the job of some measly gang leader. There was more to taeyong than what someone could perceive just by looking. Will you be considered one of them now! After the little stunt that landed you straight into yuta’s life, you weren’t sure that he’d not strangle you in sleep. And What were you going to say to them? Chelin, yeom, guk, yeong.

and your thoughts spiralled from taeyong,yuta towards chelin and your friends and didn’t rest anytime before 4a.m. Waking up at 8 sharp , you took a shower and made your way towards the library.

And now you were here. 2 students passed your figure indicating that there were 2 vacant seats. Finally, after 15 minutes. They might have been the overnight students, you thought and walked inside before anyone else could claim the treasure. You had to find a new topic of thesis and do some research for an international paper your professor was writing, and you being his designated so-called subordinate had to help him, involuntarily of course. But in this world, the student who could refuse their professor’s demands was yet to be born! Marking the place by placing your bag, you started the search for last month’ law journals and digests. One and a half hours passed, but you couldn’t find anything on the international court of justice i.e. what your professor hadn’t already included. The urge to go out was profusely weighed down by your own sentiment of avoiding your friends. So you decided in favour of swallowing the bitter pill.

5 hours passed. The vibration of the timer in your phone prompted you to run off and get some food. It was already 2:30 and the lack of real food was making the tasks harder than they already were. Stepping outside into fresh air, instant regret of not bringing an umbrella washed over you. The sun was too bright unlike your mood and walking all the way to your favourite canteen would end up in you getting another headache. But you silently wished that every being from yesterday’s party was suffering from the same treatment of the over-the-top optimistic planet. why to suffer alone!

“Shortie” you lifted your head, spotting the combo of buy 1 get 1 free, heading your way.

“Where were you the whole day? And if you aren’t going to pick calls then please do that poor thing a favour and sell it!” yugyeom barked while running his hand through his hair.

You shrugged jungkook’s elbow from your shoulder and replied “I was busy with prof. Joong’s work. And I have to be somewhere after 4 so I was a bit-

“Joong should adopt you already man!” Jungkook interrupted, nudging your sides with his fingers.

“ but I thought he wanted to be her sugar daddy!” At that gyeom gave a serious and stern look to kook, pretending to ponder over his statement for a second and then suddenly they both started laughing, hands hitting you everywhere to support their doubling figures.

“Get away from me, idiots!” you shouted, trying to get away from them. Once they were done with showing their exaggerated emotions, you all giggled together in unison. they were wearing their fundraiser t-shirts, you noticed.

“When is the fundraiser?”

“At 5. But you won’t be there to support us cause you are busy with your daddy!” kook exclaimed while bumping your shoulder with his arm.

“I didn’t say I’m going for Joong’s work and no, he’s not my sugar daddy, doofus. I’m busy with tutoring. I missed someone’s Saturday class so—

“Okay, chill tiger. You need to breathe. It’s a boring event anyway.” gyeom said in a comforting tone, interjecting your rapid fire speech.

“I’m gonna have lunch, are you two going?” you suggested.

“Yeah, it’s our break and Yeong and Minjun have eaten already, so that leaves you!” kook pouted when gyeom mentioned his boyfriend’s name.

“Let’s go! I want my sugar” your dramatic pout made yugyeom pet your hair lovingly and the three of you started walking on a stone pathway on the way to the canteen.

“Where’s your umbrella?” jungkook asked you. He knew how much you hated walking under the sun after the drinking escapades.

“I forgot but let’s not talk about it. it’s making me grumpy.”

“Okay! but why don’t you cover your head with that scarf instead.” he said pointing towards the silky material around your neck.

“Naahh, it ruins my fashion” they gave each other a puzzled look, shrugging their shoulders for they both couldn’t gather the reason for your weird behaviour.

At lunch, you talked to them about the fundraiser and gave your own contribution for the noble cause. The conversation with them progressed too easily and for about an hour you forgot about the turmoil in your life, which was still unknown to them.

After parting away, you went straight to your professor to show him your progress. He took note of the materials you found on recent cases and dismissed you without showing any gratitude. Not even a word of appreciation.

A ping!

Jaemin: noona, doyoung hyung is picking you up at 4 but he won’t enter the campus. Be out at 4!

You let out a frustrated groan at his text. You had only met him once, when he conferred upon you the honour of connecting your phone to his server but that was not the only favour you received! He also saved his contact number with various hearts that you obviously removed after reaching home. you could only pray to heavens that he won’t be there today as well!

You made your way to the library again, this time to work on your thesis. The time passed faster than you thought. The alarm you placed earlier vibrated, indicating it was 4 already! You hastily made your bag and ran out of the library. It took 10 minutes to reach the gates of the campus. When you passed your dorms building, the idea of ditching doyoung and going to bed sounded tempting but as usual, nothing was going your way these days. You felt like the old catch 22 was in action.

You passed through the gates and looked around the road to find doyoung's car but he was nowhere to be seen. While you were scanning the whole area, a low voice called your attention.

“What are you finding, I’m right here under your nose” a voice said through gritted teeth.

Yes, he was indeed sitting in the car right in front of you and the only one you missed apparently. You walked around the car to sit on the passenger seat, the tinted windows hiding you from the outside funfair.

“What took you so long? It's 4:15 already.”

“I don’t have a car like you so I walked myself here and it’s not like I did it purposely anyway.” You contended, the annoyance in your voice matching his own.

“Whatever, we are already late so turn around. Taeyong would be mad.”

“No I’m not turning around. First that cloth bag, then the handkerchief you tied on my eyes yesterday, its painful man. I’ll lose my eyesight this way. And I can navigate the whole city from this place, you can’t hide your dungeon from me now” you reasoned. He didn’t tie your hands yesterday but your eyes were still covered.

“Then give me your scarf. I’ll cover your eyes with your own choice of article. It’s not painful or else you won’t be wearing it right! he said mockingly, pointing towards your neck.

“Umm, this scarf is act-

“Give me that already. I have some other things to handle as well.” assessing your options, you hesitantly removed the scarf, turning around to face the window immediately. Doyoung tied it across your eyes, checking the knot twice and tapped your shoulder. As you turned around, doyoung’s doe eyes widened, if that was even possible. Your collarbone and neck, which was visible through your v neck top, was covered with pretty purplish bruises. You fidgeted with your hands, flustered, feeling his eyes on you. But he remained quiet, focusing on the task at hand.

The whole drive was quiet and though your hands were not tied, you kept them on your backpack, hesitant to start any conversation. The car stopped finally, the mixed feelings coming back. The same process followed. He guided you inside but this time you passed only one door and the walk was quite shorter as well.

As doyoung was about to remove your scarf, a hand stopped him, or that was what you understood from the movements at that time.

“Silky scarf, blindfold and hickies haan! Being kinky doyoungie. She’s your sister-in-law. Show some respect boy!” a voice remarked, the air around your face suddenly filled with chocolate and coffee. You hiccupped all of a sudden, earning a chuckle from the unknown presence.

You tried to reach for the blindfold, but your hands were caught mid-air, the said hands removing it. You blinked your eyes a few times to make out the figure’s face. He was standing, mostly bending to match your stature, face smiling to show all of his teeth.

Yuta.

You, surprised, took a step back but instead bumped into the one behind you.

“I’ll take over from here, doyoung.” but fortunately, he didn’t budge. Your hold on the backpack tightened, your eyes lowered to avoid his gaze. The only thing in your view were his baggy pants and white sports shoes.

But yuta could see only you and nothing else. Taeyong wasn’t the only one awaiting your arrival. Yuta was equally anticipating you. His night was just as sleepless and anxious as you. He was afterall at the other end of the rope.

He raised your head, fingertips lightly grazing your chin. His hooded eyes roamed around your face like he was expecting you to show some contempt , hatred,nervousness! He straightened up abruptly and started tying the silk around your neck. You flinched at his touch but he remained void of any reaction. His half denim jacket and white t-shirt hid you from the surroundings, his arms almost engulfing you. He repositioned himself to match your height again, arms crossing against his chest.

“Looks like someone had a fun night.” and in a second, his honey smile changed into a smirk, letting go of any trace of earlier softer expressions. And the look on his face was enough to scare the shit out of anyone.

“Stop yuta” a taller man you recognised from yesterday as Johnny, pushed yuta aside from your view. It was then you saw that everyone was there. Including the one you were yet to encounter.

Your eyes wandered from one side to the other. Johnny let you inspect.

“Doyoung, what was the need to cover her eyes?” Johnny whispered to doyoung, breaking your trance.

“Why is everyone nagging me so much” he whined in a screeching voice.

“Karma bitch” Johnny pointed his forefinger towards him before giving his attention to you.

“Hey, how are you y/n.” he asked, his cheerful voice totally in contrast with the weather of the room.

“I’m- ummm.” you cleared your throat before continuing. “I’m fine Johnny. As fine I can be.” you mumbled the last part but he surely heard you.

“You remembered my name!” he clapped, his eyes turning into crescents. You gave him a tight lipped smile in return, waiting for some instructions. As if on cue, taeyong’s loud voice graced your ears.

“Come y/n. make yourself comfortable” he indicated towards the couches that were almost already occupied. Johnny gestured to you to proceed, walking with you. You passed yuta who was still smirking and sat on the single seat available next to taeyong. You placed your backpack on the large table in the middle of the room. It looked like a normal living room for guests, just with too many couches to accommodate the gang. You felt like an uninvited because apparently everybody was watching you like a hawk. Their stares changed sight only when yuta came to take a seat on one of the couches, exactly opposite to yours. You met his eyes briefly before turning your face towards your bag again.

Who knew the rusty zips of your bag were so interesting!

“So y/n I thought you should meet everyone. You are going to be part of this family soon. Better get acquainted with all.” taeyong addressed you while he sat on his couch majestically like a king. You heard a dry laugh and if you had to guess it had to be from jaehyun or yuta.

You didn’t understand why he wanted that. You were just a risk till yesterday and now means to discipline yuta.

And why all the formalities if you were gonna leave anyway.

“I’m going to leave anyway, taeyong. So I don’t see a need to do it!

You were too consumed to notice how your sentence turned all the heads around you. Some started giving side eyes to each other. There was something they were all missing.

“I said you could leave. But not without my permission. So, you’d be stuck for now, maybe till months or years.”

You gulped at his words. Taeyong turned your only hope into a distant dream. Maybe you were too foolish to gauge the situation.

“You want something to eat or drink before we continue” he asked in a sincere voice. Shaking your head, you rubbed your eyes with the palms of your hands to stop them from moistening. There was nothing more embarrassing than to cry in front of a bunch of strangers who didn’t give a shit about you.

“No, please continue.” you emphasised again to not draw any more attention to yourself than already was. And you internally thanked Taeyong who continued as if you weren’t just gonna cry!

“You will move in with yuta on Saturday,” it was Monday. “The wedding ceremony would be held in the morning. So you have a few days to prepare, everything from your dress to every other thing you need shall be arranged. Just name it and you’ll have it!”

Wedding ceremony! That was not on the plate!

“I don’t want a cerem-

“Leave the bullshit ta-

You and yuta both cut off each other simultaneously. You glanced at his side, finding him already piercing his gaze into yours.

“There’s no need for it. The paper signing is enough. It’s not like we are in-

You knew taeyong understood what you were trying to say, so you didn’t continue. But you were already having a feeling of superiority over yuta for being the first to offer your opinion. It felt like a payback for flustering you earlier. You refrained from facing him again, your body turned towards taeyong only, but you felt satisfied with the thought of him being riled up.

“Oh, but I want a ceremony taeyong and mark is going to be the best man. He’s so excited. You can’t do that to him!” yuta emphasised through the variation in his voice. You knew he changed his argument purposely , but you maintain your cool, opting to ignore him . bear and forbear.

Taeyong raised his eyebrow at you but you shook your head again.

“I don’t think it’d be a good idea. It’s not a normal one anyway so why pretend!” you held your ground.

“You aren’t getting married to a mannequin.” yuta retracted. “I’m getting married as well and don’t anyone dare say that I made a mistake and blah blah. At last I’ll be hitching so I want a ceremony and Japanese at that!”

Oh yeah, he was Japanese. You have missed that as well.

All the other men in the room, 9 to be exact, were nodding at everything that was being said. They were unable to decide whose argument was worth taking side for. Finally Johnny spoke-

“I think y/n is right” looking at nowhere in particular, he continued. “What’s with pomp and show when it’s nothing more than an agreement”

“But if yuta hyung wants it, then why not. They are going to live together, he should have his say as well.” It was Mark who took yuta’s side. He didn’t know why but watching yuta losing ground urged him to support his brother.

You looked briefly at the boy who just argued with Johnny.

“He’s mark y/n.” taeyong said the answer you were looking for. “And he’s Jungwoo, jeno, doyoung, you have already met him, then jaehyun, johnny, renjunie, hendery. Others are busy so you’ll meet them some other day probably.”

A few waved towards you, including Mark, who shyly withdrew his hand quickly. They all probably hated you as there was no other reaction towards a person who almost put your life in danger!

“Can we get to a middle ground now? I’m already getting tired of this” jaehyun grumbled, leaning into the couch.

“Ok so, he wants a celebration of a lie! What about me then? You are all here but I have no one. I’m alone and probably will be. Because taeyong, you haven’t told me how am I going to reveal this to my friends? I may not have a family, but still there are people close to me. They are my best friends, roommate, and many others who need to know! How am I going to explain to them that their friend who didn’t even have a boyfriend, is getting married suddenly? I don’t even have parents to cover it with an arranged marriage. How to convince them? Give me a way and I’ll agree” you pointed out the very important detail that they were missing. But they needed to know that there was other side of the paper as well and your reasons were not just a cry in the wilderness.

Nobody made a sound. Everything went quite like a dark night until-

“I hope this is not the calm before a storm!” you looked over to see the person who broke the silence. It was another young man coming with a food trolley, probably from the kitchen.

“I thought we have a guest so I prepared some coffee and donuts. I hope you like sweets y/n” the man was smiling ear to ear, seeming too happy with your visit.

“I-

“I’m kun.” he introduced himself and you shook his hand. He seemed too polite for a criminal. “Have this and tell me how it is” he forcibly handed you a dessert plate with a chocolate glazed donut. You took it out of politeness but felt a bit weird to be the only one eating it. You watched him with quizzical eyes as he took one for himself and sat on the arm of your couch. Everyone was now staring at your movements.

“Eat it, eat it. These are for you and me only.” he cajoled.

You decided to take a bite and then place it back just to stop the awkwardness.

As you bit it from one side, your brain short circuited. “Holy shit, bro. What is this sorcery.” your genuine and innocent reaction made Kun laugh loudly, some of the others joined in as well.

“Thank god, you like it! I’m so glad you aren’t one of weight conscious ones, otherwise it’d have been weird.” he started munching on his own piece.

“I’m a sugar bear. I can’t live without sugar. I just had a donut in the morning but it was bleh compared to this. You are a master chef bro.” and for a minute you forgot the previous tense environment. Everyone was glad that Kun came to save the situation and except to you, it was known that obviously he heard everything from the kitchen.

“You ate one in the morning! Then it’s the last one you’re getting. Everyone help yourself. She’s not having any more!” as if they were waiting, everyone except mark and yuta picked them up.

“Mark” Kun motioned towards the tray and he grabbed one as well.

“What if I was allergic to chocolate, kun” you asked him while finishing your treat.

“Oh please! Even ten eats it.” he laughed to himself at his reference, which went over your head.

“Now coming to the point.” Everyone looked at taeyong who was already done with eating. “Y/n doesn’t want anything special so it’ll happen like that. No!yuta, lemma speak. And you y/n, it’s upon you to make your friends believe. Make up a story or do whatever you want. You don’t want to tell them about the wedding. Fine with me but do let them know at least that you have a boyfriend that you are moving in with! It’s on you both to make this arrangement believable.

“okay , sho now I shuggenly hab a voyfiend” you started speaking without even finishing the bite in your mouth. you continued once you chewed it.

“won't they be suspicious. They know exactly what I do and what I don’t. It’s almost impossible to put a façade in front of them.”

“Oh please, don’t tell me they even know from where you got those hickies” jaehyun’s curt statement was a hit below the belt. Kun was about to scold him when you elaborated his statement further to prove that he was doing nothing but burning his own fingers.

“Yes, actually they happen to know. When, where and from whom I got these. Anything else you want to ask?.” he rolled his eyes on your reply, busing himself with the delicacy instead.

“They don’t know yuta. So if you want you can introduce him to your people. He won’t be posing any problem, take my word for it.”

“I’ll go with you if you also accompany me,that I guess would be a problem for you. You don’t want to be seen with a criminal, or do you!” yuta jabbered. He was trying to push your buttons to measure your limit. But little did he know that you were far from being that easy.

“I just said I don’t want a wedding. I’ll agree to anything that is reasonable and is not degrading to me.”

“Ok then, nobody would force you to do what you don’t want.” Taeyong decided to take matters into his own hands now. “And we’ll organise a small, very intimate gathering at taeil’s office to celebrate as yuta wants. And you’ll be introduced as Mrs. Nakamoto to our corporate world.” taeyong finished gauging both of your reactions. The surname was foreign and cringing to you. But it was going to be yours, so there was nothing you could do, for now.

“What do you mean ‘our’ corporate world.” you got puzzled at his choice of words.

“You’ll find out soon and it's nothing scary, don’t worry.” Kun responded on behalf of taeyong this time, handing you your cup of coffee. “Tell me if it’s cold, I’ll-

“No it’s totally fine.” you assured him, without even taking a sip. He was being nice enough already.

“If my opinion has no value, then what am I even doing here!” yuta shouted, getting up from the seat.

“yut-

Before Kun could say anything, he stormed off. Mark tried to follow but taeyong stopped him from doing that.

“Don’t mind him. He’s a hot head.” Johnny laughed in between his bites.

You only nodded, sipping your coffee. You were glad he was gone. Sugar has always done wonders for you and it was having the same effects now as well. You were able to think more rationally now.

“One more thing” you furrowed your brows at taeyong. What was left now! “Do you want any specifications in the house? It’s my responsibility. A wedding gift you can say. If you need anything like extra closet, a more spacious kitchen-

“Kitchen?” you let out a brief chuckle at that. Everyone’s eyes were on you now. “It’ll be totally fine if I don’t even get a kitchen. I can’t cook anything besides ramyeon and salads. So I won’t even need that.”

“You are a student. Don’t you know anything basic.” It was Jungwoo who spoke in the sweeter voice than Kun's.

“No. I grew up in an orphanage and they provided us everything. I left when I started law. So all in all, I never had anyone to teach me. That’s why if you want to know best food trucks and restaurants in the city, I’m your best option.but, if that yuta knows how to cook, ask him about the kitchen.” you spoke nonchalantly .But you didn’t realise how uncomfortable the air had become. a heavy silence took over the light atmosphere.

“I’m sorry noona” Jungwoo apologised sheepishly.

“It’s fine. After all there are some things that your hacker can’t find out. only I can tell you those.” saying that, you faced taeyong again. “But if you insist, I can always use a study room.” you tried to enlighten the mood again.,ppp

“Ok. I’ll find something suitable for you both.” you hummed, not knowing what to say anymore.

“Can I go back now?”

“Yes, doyoung will drop you.”

“No, I’ll go with her.” Johnny said, grabbing your attention. He didn’t look sulky like doyoung so, it’d be fine, you guess.

They said you goodbyes. Mark seemed hesitant to even look at you, but you couldn’t care less. He was just a stranger after all.

Yuta couldn’t realise why everyone was trying to be so nice to you. Till yesterday, he was allowed to put a gun on her head but now every being was against him. He didn’t know why he was so furious at Taeyong, to force him to marry you or for dragging Mark into this mess. Taeyong knew how to play dirty, but yuta never thought he’d use his own brother. There was no option for him as well, as taeyong has said. He showed interest in a fucking celebration to contradict you, but you were not backing down and that felt like a punch to his gut.

He drove towards his stress reliever. The infamous Japanese club, the only place where he could drown his sorrows.

The club was packed despite it being Monday. That was one thing he liked about it, you’ll never be disappointed in this place.

“ゆた!” The hostess chimed seeing yuta. “久しぶり” [ long time, no see!]

He signed her to give him 2 shots. She did as told but her gaze was following yuta’s, which rested on her cleavage. He came here only for 2 things after all.

He gulped the drink in a second without blinking an eye.

“バックルーム” [ back room]

She wasn’t someone to be told twice. She handed her hand towel to her co-worker and followed the path. Who was she to reject him after all?

He drove back silently again. The relief he felt was all dissipated now. Instead his mind was already wandering towards you. Your headstrong attitude was troubling him. his plans were all down and out. He hated you , from the moment he laid his eyes on you. You acted like you were invincible but he knew it was just a mask to protect yourself.

He had noticed how you rubbed your eyes to hide your disappointment for you didn’t want to appear weak. All he had to do now was to find a vulnerable part of you, to hit you where it’d hurt the most. It’d be last time he lost to you.

Afterall, beginning is always easy, it is continuing that’s hard!

[alwaysmychoices]

An Accidental Dinner Party

Synopsis: When Charlie accidentally crashes Ethan’s dinner with his dad, can they keep their secret?

Chapter 15 of the “with and without” series

Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)

Words: 5k

Rating: T (Charlie likes to cuss, and I don’t judge her for that)

It was easy to forget.

Crowded into a small hospital room, there was hardly enough room to stand, yet it was a vague thought, tucked in the farthest corner and out of sight. The group of friends could convince themselves that it was another night, but it wasn’t.

It was easy to forget, but it was even easier to remember.

Every second, they were hyperaware of the night’s significance. It was the night before Kyra’s surgery, and even as they laughed, there was an unavoidable twinge of sadness. Every time Kyra lit up with giggles or joked or overtly flirted with Bryce, everyone stopped and took a mental image of the happy memory, saving them for a day they may need them.

A day that may come too soon.

Because, while this was a lovely night shared among friends, there was a hidden threat that it could be the last.

Maybe that’s why they tried so hard to have fun. It wasn’t particularly easy to cram eight people into Kyra’s room, nor was it much of a secret when Jackie shared her flask with the group at the beginning of the night. The jokes, initially, were uncomfortable and awkward, but they were met with appreciative, roaring laughter. Everyone wanted a nice time.

Particularly Charlie.

She sat on Kyra’s side, in one of the few chairs they could smuggle into the room. She found herself looking at Kyra after every enjoyable moment, hoping for proof that Kyra was okay. Kyra was strong, but Charlie worried she expected too much of herself tonight. She had every right to fall apart, and the fact that she didn’t pushed Charlie closer to breaking down herself.  

It was only 8:30, but the energy was dwindling. Kyra had yawned more than once, and Charlie knew that the night was coming to a close. That didn’t mean she wanted to go though.

Jackie was the first to say that she needed to leave, and for a split second, Charlie couldn’t help but hate her.

Elijah sheepishly followed afterwards.

Kyra, looking more exhausted by the minute, accepted their goodbyes, though she forced Jackie to hug her goodbye. Elijah got off with a fist bump.

“I’m embarrassingly exhausted from these drugs anyway,” Kyra joked, which made Bryce roll his eyes.

“You’re barely on any,” Bryce insisted, leaning on the end of her bed, “You’re really just tired because we played basketball at lunch.”

“Lies,” Kyra condemned, laughing just enough to ruin her attempt at a serious expression.

Bryce rolled his eyes, but he took his place at her bedside, giving her a tight hug, “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning.”

“Are you sure we can’t push it back? I’d rather wake up at noon.”

“Absolutely not,” Bryce confirmed, squeezing her shoulder, “If you want the hottest surgeon, you have to go for the early slot.”

“I’ll only accept that if you admit I’m the hottest patient,” Kyra teased.

“Obviously,” Bryce scoffed, offended she even had to ask

Kyra smiled – so bright, innocent, and happy. Charlie’s chest tightened.

“Now, go home. I refuse to have a tired surgeon tomorrow morning,” Kyra commanded, and Bryce held his hands up in surrender to the order.

As he walked away, he squeezed Charlie’s shoulder, giving her a sympathetic and comforting smile.

He knew that she was suffering because he was, too.

Keiki, who had taken the train from Bryce’s apartment just to wish Kyra luck, took Bryce’s space. Kyra whispered something in Keiki’s ear, which made her roar with laughter, and they shared a hug. It was the only time Charlie had seen Keiki display affection to anyone but Bryce, and it was startling. She even begrudgingly admitted that Kyra was the coolest person in Boston, which Kyra credited to her shaved head.

Sienna and Raf were the last to say their farewells. Raf wished Kyra luck, and they made wistful plans to meet up in Brazil for an epic adventure next summer. Kyra hit on him for old time’s sake, and Raf kissed her forehead. Sienna, the only one who could truly face her grief, cried when she said goodnight. Then, she promised to make cookies and bring them to Kyra as soon as she was out of surgery.

And then it was just Charlie and Kyra.

It was hard to think of the perfect goodbye that night. As much as she tried, Charlie couldn’t sum up their relationship in a poignant yet cheery farewell. She couldn’t pretend she wasn’t afraid, but she also wasn’t ready to face that fear yet.

Charlie stared at her friend, hesitating and holding back tears.

“What? You afraid of me now?” Kyra teased, nudging Charlie and feeling victorious when she made her laugh.

“No, I just…” Charlie trailed off, her smile growing weak as she took Kyra’s hands. Clutching them tight, she said, “I’m proud of you, and I’m so happy that I met you. You’re the best friend I never saw coming.”

Kyra wanted to be strong. If this was her last night, she wanted to be a badass.

And though she survived the rounds of goodbyes, she couldn’t survive Charlie’s without a spare tear. She sniffled and failed to hold back her emotion, but just from one look, she could see everything she felt mirrored in Charlie’s expression.

Maybe that’s why Charlie was her best friend. And maybe that’s why Kyra couldn’t do this tonight.

“Stop it!” Kyra tried to sound cheery, squeezing Charlie’s hands back, and she joked, “I can’t possibly die because I still haven’t figured out all your secrets. Until I have those, you’re stuck with me.”

Charlie’s laughter was real, but she was crying as she offered, “I promise to tell you all of them.”

“No,” Kyra stopped her, “You can tell me tomorrow night – when I’m still alive.”

Charlie swallowed Kyra in a hug, and Kyra, though much weaker, matched the intensity.

“I love you, Kyra.”

“I love you, too,” Kyra echoed, burying her face in Charlie’s hair.

It was so hard to pull away that, for a long time, neither of them did.

Eventually, when they parted, Charlie asked, “Do you want me to stay tonight? We can watch crappy romcoms, and I can find the cutest nurses for you to flirt with.”

Kyra cackled at the specifics of Charlie’s offer, particularly the bit about flirting. She considered accepting, but ultimately, she refused. She loved Charlie enough to know that she needed out of this hospital room, and Kyra needed time by herself to find peace. She was the one going into this surgery, and she needed to be ready.

“No, you should go home,” Kyra answered, and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, she added, “Or don’t go home. Go have a wild night in my name.”

Charlie couldn’t imagine herself doing it. She couldn’t imagine doing anything except worrying for her friend, but Kyra asked. So, she accepted the challenge.

“Okay.”

Charlie started to leave, but she hesitated by the door, which made Kyra laugh softly. With wet eyes, Kyra waved goodbye, and Charlie took a deep sigh before taking the next step. She thought it would make it easier, but it was still incredibly difficult to walk away. By the time she reached the end of the hall, she had considered turning around at least five times, but she didn’t want to let Kyra down. So, she kept walking until she was out of the hall and then out of the floor and then out of the hospital.

Her friends were huddled around the door, walking slow on their way home. When Charlie found them, she was relieved to not have to walk home alone. Really, she was happy to not be alone period. She didn’t want to be by herself, not now and not tonight. She would have taken any offer to do anything, even if it meant hours scrubbing bathroom tiles or sharing excruciating small talk.

“So, what’s everyone doing tonight?” Charlie asked, hoping for an escape through one of her friends.

“Keiki and I are ordering pizza and getting an early night,” Bryce announced, which made Keiki roll her eyes, but she didn’t object. In fact, Charlie could see her create a pizza order on her phone as they walked.

“I’m heading home, too. I still have a lot of packing to do,” Raf added.

Raf shrugged apologetically in Charlie’s direction, but she wasn’t surprised. Even if Raf had been free, she wasn’t sure he wanted her around anyway.

“I’m babysitting tonight, so if we could just pick up the pace a bit, that would be great,” Jackie grumbled, texting furiously. She was already at the head of the group, but if it was possible, she started to walk even faster.

“I’m going back to the hospital. I have a few cases I need to check on tonight,” Aurora frowned, giving Charlie an remorseful look.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Charlie shrugged, and looking to her last hope, she asked, “Sienna, Elijah, what are you doing?”

“I’m ordering takeout and doing some research tonight. I’ll be swamped tomorrow, so I want to get a jump on the day,” Elijah answered.

“You’re getting takeout? Where from? I’ll jump on that,” Sienna decided, and Elijah handed her his phone to show her the takeout menu. After scrolling for a minute, she realized that she hadn’t answered Charlie’s question, “Oh, I’m heading home, too. I hardly slept last night, so as soon as I finish dinner, I’ll probably go to bed.”

Oh.

Charlie nodded understandingly with a hollow smile. Her disappointment manifested in an emptiness in her core, and again, a wave of sadness threatened to swallow her. She needed someone to distract her, someone comforting and understanding. But her friends couldn’t fill the void.

Maybe she was supposed to fill it herself.

As they kept walking to the train station, Charlie fell out of the conversation. At every block, she looked for a new escape, a new place to hide from the truth.

When they reached the station, everyone fished out their subway card except for Charlie.

Instead, she told them that she planned on staying out for a few more hours and would see them later.

Of course, they doubted her plan. They weren’t sure that she should be out or left alone, and they felt a bit guilty for not having room to pull her along with them. She assured them that she was fine and gave her most convincing smile. They had to take her word for it, and though they felt bad leaving her behind, they left.

Charlie walked on for a few more blocks in the direction of Donahue’s. The bar was never empty, and surely, she could find a pack of doctors or residents to join. It didn’t matter who they were as long as she wouldn’t be alone.

Though, as she thought about it, it sounded lonely…

Something along the way reminded her of him, and she knew there was one person she wanted to be with tonight. Before she could change her mind, she hailed a cab and gave Ethan’s address.

She arrived at Ethan’s apartment at the same time as a delivery man, so she followed him inside without having to buzz in. She was a familiar face in the building by now, so even the nosiest neighbor didn’t give her a second glance. She took the elevator to this floor, and as if by muscle memory, she walked to his front door.

She knocked twice, and almost immediately, she heard his voice on the other side, saying he was coming. And his voice – his lovely, relaxed voice – eased the tension in her chest. Her Ethan… He was exactly what she needed, and she held her breath for the fifteen seconds it took him to get to his front door.

And when Ethan opened the door…

He was… not happy?

He was surprised.

His eyes were wide, so wide they seemed horrified. He didn’t move towards her and envelop her in a hug like she hoped, nor did he kiss her hello like he usually did outside of work. He just stared.

It wasn’t the reaction she expected.

“What are you doing here?” Ethan asked, stepping out into the hall. He pulled the door with him, nearly closing it behind him. She couldn’t see in the apartment now, and if someone else was inside, they couldn’t see her either. Ethan’s voice seemed panicked as he added, “You said you were busy tonight.”

Charlie didn’t know how to react. It was so strange – so out of character – that she was immediately apprehensive.

“My night ended early,” Charlie explained, eyes on the door behind him like it might have a clue, and he pulled the door a little closer to him.

What is he doing?

Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard movement on the other side of Ethan’s door. Someone was in there. Someone Ethan didn’t want Charlie to see.

Charlie’s gaze turned steely and accusatory as she glared in Ethan’s direction. Who was there? Why was this a secret? Why was Ethan so panicked?

Was he seeing someone else?

Would he do that to her? How could he?

That asshole.

When Ethan heard the person inside, he warned her, “You should leave.”

Charlie was seething. Who the hell did he think he was telling her to leave? Was she the inferior fling? He didn’t get to tell her to go. She deserved to know what the fuck was going on.

“Excuse me?” Charlie demanded, arms crossed. She could feel her heartbeat taking over her body. Everything was painted red and angry and enraged. She felt like she could have torn this apartment building down brick by brick.

Ethan saw the change, but he didn’t have time to set out the fire.

“Ethan, who’s there?”

Charlie’s eyes widened in understanding, but it was too late.

All of the anger settled into shock and panic.

“Your dad is here?” Charlie whispered, practically a hiss.

“You said you were busy tonight!” Ethan whispered back.

“We’ve been standing here this whole time, and you couldn’t just say that?” she quietly accused.

“What did you think was going on?”

“You’re hiding your door. What do you think I thought?!” Charlie looked at him like he was stupid, and as it dawned at him, he realized he was.

“You thought I was with someone else?” Ethan knew they were running out of time. They needed to figure out what to do and what to say if they were caught, but he was so shocked that she could think that of him that he couldn’t ask anything else.

“Wait, why are you angry?” it was getting harder to maintain the whisper as she reminded him, “You’re the one blocking the door and evading questions. You look like the poster child for being caught cheating.”

“Charlotte!” Ethan was prepared to continue this fight until he felt vindicated, but they were out of time.

“Ethan?” his dad’s voice was getting nearer, and they could hear his steps coming towards the front door.

Shit.

Charlie looked around the hallway frantically, looking for somewhere to quickly hide. But she couldn’t decide fast enough. She couldn’t even take a step towards the elevator before Alan was at the door, opening it to the sight of two shocked, guilty-looking adults staring back at him.

Alan chuckled good humoredly but was obviously confused.

Ethan and Charlie said nothing, not because they didn’t want to but because they couldn’t think of anything to say.

After a moment, Alan recognized Charlie, and he smiled warmly, “Charlotte, right? From the hospital?”

“Yes, that’s me,” Charlie smiled politely, but beneath it, she couldn’t formulate a coherent thought for panic, “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Ramsey.”

“Oh, call me Alan,” he insisted, “What brings you here tonight?”

An excuse.

She should have been thinking of an excuse this whole time.

Charlie hesitated, and Ethan watched with pity as she tried to formulate a believable excuse. She picked the first one she conjured just because she’d already taken too long.

“I’m here for work.”

Fuck. That’s a terrible excuse.

“We have a really tricky patient, and because I have a free night, I was hoping to borrow a few books to study tonight. You know, just get a jump on the morning,” Charlie elaborated. She hoped it would save her excuse, but it was still weak.

Ethan gave her a pointed look, but she didn’t look back. If he wanted to judge her response, he should have said something.

“I didn’t realize you were busy, though, so I can just pick those study materials up tomorrow morning at work. Sorry to disturb you two,” Charlie excused herself, and she started walking away.

“Oh, but Charlie, you’re already here! Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

Charlie’s blood ran cold.

“I couldn’t impose-“

“Nonsense, it wouldn’t be an imposition. We’ve got more than enough food, and you’d be giving two boring men some company,’ Alan insisted.

“But I know you live so far away and don’t get to spend much time with each other,” Charlie tried, but Alan just shook his head.

“Ethan, you can’t possibly let her leave. Invite her in.”

Ethan really didn’t want to.

This was their last chance to think of an excuse, but nothing was strong enough. So, reluctantly, Ethan offered, “Charlie, would you like to join us for dinner?”

She couldn’t exactly say no, so resigning to her fate, she accepted.

Alan ushered Charlie inside, and she followed awkwardly. Jenner, who had been casually lounging on the couch through all the awkwardness, jumped up when he saw Charlie enter. He sprinted to her, and she instinctively scratched behind his ears to greet him.

“Jenner seems to really like you,” Alan commented, and Charlie realized the implication.

How would Jenner know her well if they were platonic?

Normal coworkers didn’t spend the night in the other’s apartment and play with their dog.

Jenner’s friendliness betrayed her familiarity with the apartment and therefore Ethan.

“Charlie has watched Jenner a few times,” Ethan explained, “When the dog walker is busy.”

Charlie nodded to confirm the story, relieved Ethan saved her from explaining it away.

Ethan hesitated to leave Charlie and his father alone, but he was needed in the kitchen. As he put the finishing touches on the salad and garlic butter chicken, he watched the two from the corner of his eye, waiting to jump in and save Charlie if necessary.

Charlie hoped that Alan wouldn’t be talkative because she didn’t trust herself to not inadvertently reveal their relationship, but of course, Alan was friendly and curious.

“So, what have you been doing tonight, Charlie?”

“I was with a few friends,” Charlie answered, fiddling with he necklace, “My friend, Kyra, has a big surgery tomorrow, so we wanted to support her. I stayed until she kicked me out.”

Alan’s gaze was soft and full of sympathy as he said, “I’m sorry for you and your friend. You must have been looking for someone to comfort you.”

Charlie was startled by Alan’s insight.

That was exactly what she was doing.

And the implication that she came to Ethan for that reason was clear. She wondered if he knew. Had he not bought their excuse? Or had he figured it out some time before?

“I’m just trying to keep busy,” Charlie brushed him off, looking in Ethan’s direction for him to rescue her.

Luckily, Charlie’s panic coincided with the timer on the chicken, and Alan was sufficiently distracted helping Ethan finish dinner. Charlie helped set the table under Ethan’s direction and was relieved for the silence during the process. The three of them settled at Ethan’s dining table with Ethan at the head of the table and Charlie and Alan facing each other.

Of course, the food was delicious, and that consumed much of the initial chatter.

Then Ethan deftly steered the conversation back to his hometown of Providence and how everyone was doing. Alan shared a humorous story about their neighbor’s scandalous affair with the mail man, and though most of the details went over Charlie’s head, she laughed with them.

Alan looked happy that Charlie was amused, and once the story was over, he asked, “Do you go home much, Charlie?”

“Not much,” Charlie shook her head.

“Bad memories?”

“Not particularly,” she shrugged, “It’s a long trip, so it’s mainly just holidays.”

“Must get lonely.”

“I’ve built a little family here, so as long as my friends will have me, I’m happy,” Charlie explained, and to her surprise, this made Alan happy.

“You should hold on to that. You’re very lucky,” Alan encouraged her, “I wish I’d held on closer to the family I made when I was young.” He paused, and after some deliberation, he asked, “So, who’s in this family? Boyfriend? Roommates? In my twenties, I practically considered my butcher a brother.”

Charlie didn’t miss the question about her relationship status, nor did Ethan. She wondered if Alan expected her to include Ethan in her list. She decided not to, though he certainly deserved a spot.

“Just some roommates and a few friends. Plus, a chinchilla.”

“You have a chinchilla?” Ethan asked incredulously.

“Sienna takes care of her, but yes,” Charlie confirmed. Ethan continued to stare at her, trying to decide if he disapproved or was surprised that she had never mentioned it before. Of course, it might be both.

“How long have you had it?”

“Maybe a year.”

Ethan’s eyes widened in horror, as if having a chinchilla was made worse by having it for a long time.

Alan watched them and smiled.

Dinner was easier after that. Alan told an embarrassing story about Ethan and his favorite stuffed bear, and Charlie enjoyed every second. He asked Charlie questions about her life – where she was from, why she was in Boston, and of course, how much of an asshole Ethan was at work. She answered truthfully but danced around any attachment.

If someone had looked in, it would have seemed like a happy, wonderful night where a young couple met the parents. And honestly, it kind of felt like that, even if it was a secret.

They talked for a long time. It must have been at least an hour before Ethan got up to do the dishes, and Alan and Charlie stayed at the table, drinking wine and laughing about Ethan being called to the principal’s office for telling a teacher he didn’t know what he was talking about. Ethan excused himself from the embarrassment by taking Jenner for his nightly walk, leaving Charlie and Alan alone.

“You know, you two did a good job,” Alan commended Charlie.

Still laughing from the last story, she asked, “What do you mean?”

“If I didn’t know my son so well, I might have believed you two weren’t together.”

Charlie stilled, playing his words over and over again in her mind. She must have misheard.

“Except for the times where you look at him like he’s the only thing you ever want to look at, which you do occasionally, but I had already figured it out by then.”

Charlie’s jaw dropped, and she felt silent.

Shit.

“It’s alright, Charlotte. You don’t need to keep the secret.”

Charlie was startled but relieved. The burden lifted, she let out a sigh and shrugged, “How did you know?”

“It was pretty clear when I heard that he looked like the poster child for cheating,” Alan chuckled as he recalled the whispered conversation he overheard. She grimaced but laughed with him, amused at their own mistake.

So many awkward conversations could have been avoided if they were discovered that quickly.

“I’ve always liked you. From the first time Ethan mentioned you. He never admitted to liking you, but he spoke too highly and too often of you for you to be purely professional.”

Charlie didn’t want to look excited by this information, but she was. She didn’t know he talked about her.

“I think you’re good for him, and though I don’t know you well, he seems good for you,” Alan was happy for his son, and Charlie appreciated his approval.

Had he known all of the hurt they’d inflicted on each other in the past year, he may not have been as supportive. But Charlie liked to think that they had a second chance, that all of those mistakes didn’t ruin them. And if Alan encouraged their relationship, maybe she was right.

“Just…” Alan hesitated, still weighing whether or not his interference was warranted, “Don’t let him stay like this. I know my son, and I’ve seen him ruin good things out of fear. When he’s scared of change or commitment, he remains stagnant. Or worse, he leaves. He doesn’t want to endanger himself or his heart, and I can’t blame him. But… I don’t want him to ruin this. You seem like too good of a thing to lose that way. You both deserve to be happy.”

Charlie didn’t know what to say or how to react. There was an unmistakable heaviness that followed his speech, like a looming thundercloud on their happily ever after.

And it was scary – because she knew he could be right.

She knew Ethan, and she had seen him pull away and keep his distance. He had broken all of his rules to ask her out, but did that override all his patterns?

She didn’t want to be afraid. She wanted to trust Ethan just like she did the night she ran through the rain to give him a chance, but just like that night, she had lingering anxieties.

Maybe this was a premonition. Maybe it amounted to nothing.

The silence dragged on until the front door opened and Ethan returned. Jenner came bounding to Charlie, who was relieved for the distraction. Alan offered Charlie a last, encouraging smile before announcing that he was going to bed.

Ethan, suspicious of his sudden departure, encouraged him to stay and share a glass of whiskey, but Alan insisted.

“Goodnight, you two,” he waved them goodbye, with a glimmer in his eye that only Charlie recognized, “Charlie, thank you for staying for dinner. It was great getting to know you.”

“You, too, Alan,” Charlie returned the compliment, much to his delight.

He bid his son farewell and retreated to the guest room.

Once the door closed behind him, Ethan shot her a questioning look, “Did something happen?”

“Before or after he told me he’d figured out we were together?” Charlie poured herself another glass of wine, and Ethan fell into the chair beside her.

“You’re kidding?”

She shook her head and poured a little more wine in his glass, which he accepted readily, “He did say we’re cute together though.”

“Well, at least we’re ‘cute together,’” Ethan mumbled, taking a long sip of his wine. Charlie stretched her legs across his lap, and he rested his hand on her calf without thinking about her sudden movement closer to him, “Do you think other people know?”

“My intern also knows.”

“You told her?”

“No,” Charlie denied insistently, “She said that she noticed we suddenly get along and that you’re nicer to me than all the other residents.”

“That has nothing to do with us being together.”

“She also caught me staring at you,” Charlie admitted quietly.

“You were staring at me?” Ethan raised his eyebrows with intrigue, and Charlie rolled his eyes.

“An intern was flirting with you. I was just keeping an eye on it,” Charlie contended, but he squeezed her leg anyway.

After a moment, he noted, “It’s been a month, you know.”

A month.

That felt like an accomplishment. Their first relationship didn’t even last a weekend, yet they’d made this work for a whole month. Charlie was embarrassed by how happy that made her.

“You kept count?”

“Hard to forget someone dripping wet and buzzing your door like a fiend at midnight,” Ethan played it off, but he was smiling.

“Are you glad you invited me up?”

“A little less glad now that I know you have a chinchilla at home,” he grumbled, stroking her calf comfortingly, and after a beat, he clarified, “But yes. I am glad.”

Charlie beamed, and right then, she forgot Alan’s warning.

Because she couldn’t imagine this wonderful man ever hurting her.

“Since my dad already knows, do you want to stay the night?” Ethan offered, hoping she would say yes.

He always wanted her to stay. Sleeping without her felt restless and disappointing. He liked hearing her breathe and just knowing she was beside him. He also enjoyed that sleepy smile she gave him when he woke up for his run and she begged him to come back to bed, which he usually did.

“I don’t know. I had your dad tell me he figured out I was dating his son. I don’t know if I can handle him hearing me moan tonight,” she shook off the awful thought, and Ethan, though also disgusted by the idea, laughed.

“I think I can handle one night not making you moan, Charlie.”

She raised a questioning eyebrow.

“And if not, the shower should bury any sound.”

Charlie poked his side with her foot at his lewd suggestion, and despite their many shared nights, she blushed.

“I’m glad you came here tonight, especially because of Kyra. I know how close you are, and if you need me, I’m here,” Ethan offered sympathetically.

“Thank you, Ethan,” Charlie smiled softly.

“Though,” Ethan began, “I wish you called…”

“How was I supposed to know you were having dinner with your dad?”

“You didn’t have to accuse me of cheating,” Ethan sorely countered.

“Are you still on this?” Charlie complained, trying not to laugh.

“You thought I was hiding someone in my apartment!” Ethan hadn’t given up on the argument.

“You were!” Charlie reminded him.

He shook his head, and deciding to let him win this, Charlie said, “I apologize for accusing you of cheating – “

“Thank you.”

“And I will try not to jump to conclusions again.”

Ethan was satisfied by her apology, and when he leaned in to kiss her, Charlie saw that four letter word flash in her mind.

The one she hadn’t really thought of since the night she left him.

Love.

I probably should have made this 2 chapters, but I didn’t want to disturb the ~flow~

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[sourwolf-sterek32]

Call 911 ( Norman Reedus x Reader )

Summary: You met Norman Reedus on set of The Walking Dead and after years of filming together, the two of you finally started dating. Everything was going great and the two of you were as happy as ever. Until a stunt while filming goes horribly wrong and everything comes crashing down.

Pairing: Norman Reedus x Reader

Word Count: 5k

You had been a part of The Walking Dead cast since Season 2, coming into the show as Rick's younger sister. You had grown close to the cast over the years, especially Norman Reedus and after six years of working together onset, you two finally got together in real life.

You were currently filming a fight scene with Jeffrey Dean Morgan after your character, George, managed to run Negan off the road.

The only other actor rostered on for today was Norman. The director wanted to focus on the highway chase scene between Daryl, George and Negan later today since you had good weather for once.

You were in the middle of a hand-to-hand combat scene with Jeffrey. It was a full on fight scene since your character had just found out about Carl's death and was blaming Negan for it.

You and Jeffrey had practiced this scene for hours when you and Norman came over at his farm a few weeks ago.

So, you felt fairly confident that the two of you could do it without the need of stunt doubles, but as soon as you took a wrong step backwards trying to dodge Lucille, you knew you were screwed.

You would have been better off just taking the hit from Lucille since it was a foam prop, but instead you took a step backwards tripping over the stairs.

You didn't even get a chance to try and stop yourself before you tumbled down the staircase, your forehead slamming against the bottom cement step as you reached the ground.

For a second you thought you were going to pass out as black spots began clouding your vision, but you quickly blinked them away.

"Y/N!" Norman's voice yelled as he raced over to you, his hands instantly cupping your face as he took in the bruise already forming on your forehead.

"Shit, baby. Are you okay?" He asked as he slowly helped you into a sitting position before Jeffrey appeared beside you.

"I'm good. Sorry I screwed that take up Jeff." You groaned resting your hand against your forehead in pain.

"That doesn't matter, maybe we should have used stunt doubles, huh?" Jeffrey responded as you chuckled with a small nod despite the pain in your head.

"Move out the way guys, we need to take a look at her." The medic suddenly called out ushering Norman and Jeffrey to the side as they began asking you questioned and doing small tests on you to make sure you didn't have concussion or something.

"She'll be fine, but maybe take the rest of the day off." The head medic suggested as he handed you an ice pack which you immediately pressed against your forehead.

"Just give me an hour and a couple pain killers and we can continue shooting." You argued as Norman held his hand out, helping you to your feet with a concerned look on his face.

"You sure you're up for it? That was a big fall. Nobody expects you to keep working." Norman replied as he slowly walked you back to the chairs set up behind all the cameras as Jeffrey followed.

"I told you, I'm fine. Plus, George is wearing a motorcycle helmet during our next scene so the bruise won't matter." You simply replied before one of the assistants handed you a bottle of water. It was just a small bruise, you have had worse injuries during filming.

"You're one tough chick, Y/N." Jeffrey commented patting your shoulder as he took a seat on the high chair beside you.

-

*Two hours later*

You were sitting on top of George's motorcycle, Norman standing beside Daryl's motorcycle waiting for everyone to get in place for the scene while Jeffrey started up the Jeep that Negan was driving away in.

The crew had cameras set up down the abandon highway, along with a camera drone to capture a bird's eye view of the chase.

"And action!" The director yelled as Jeffrey took off down the road in the Jeep.

"We can't let him get back to Alexandria!" You yelled pulling on your motorcycle helmet.

You glanced over at Norman who nodded before climbing on his own motorcycle starting the engine.

"We ain't lettin' that happen. Let's go!" Norman yelled in his gruff Daryl voice before the two of you took off down the road.

For the first few minutes as the two of you rode down the road everything was going smoothly. You were riding a few metres in front of Daryl just how the director wanted it when suddenly you began to feel dizzy.

You quickly hit the brakes on the motorcycle knowing something was seriously wrong. But you were too late because the next thing you knew you hit the dirt on the side of the road, your motorcycle tumbling a few more metres.

The world was spinning around you as splitting pain erupted in your head. You frantically tried pulling your helmet off in hope to relieve the pain, but you couldn't undo the strap.

You were vaguely aware of Norman dropping down beside you, helping you take the helmet off, but the pain didn't go away.

You could see Norman's lips moving as if he was trying to talk to you, but you couldn't hear anything above the ringing in your ears. His eyes were panicked as he waved his hand in front of your face clearly trying to get your attention, but before you could reply everything faded to black.

"I need help! Y/N! Baby, c'mon stay with me." Norman begged cradling your head in his lap, his trembling hands cupping the side of your face trying to get you to wake up.

"Shit. Call 911!" One of the medics yelled behind him when they noticed your unconscious body laying in Norman's lap. "Did she say anything before passing out?"

"She was mumbling something about her head hurting. Is she gonna be okay?" Norman questioned glancing over his shoulder towards the two medics as they quickly dropped down beside him examining your head.

"Give us some room, she could have a head injury." The head medic replied, but Norman didn't move. His fingers tightened around the fabric of your shirt, not wanting to leave your side.

"How could she have a head injury? I saw the whole thing, she didn't hit her head when she fell off and she was wearing a helmet!" Norman responded a little louder than he probably should have.

"It might have been caused from her accident this morning."

"You guys checked her! You said she was fine!" Norman yelled glaring over at the medic beside him before he suddenly felt a pair of hands grab his shoulders firmly.

"Bubba, it's not their fault. Come on, give them room to work." Jeffrey's voice said calmly from behind him.

Norman reluctantly nodded, standing up and taking a couple steps back as he watched the medics hover over his girl.

"Her heartbeat is faint. Elevate her head and someone get me an ETA on that ambulance!" The medic yelled as more and more people from the crew began rushing towards the scene.

It felt like hours before the ambulance finally arrived, but it was probably only a few minutes. Time seemed to go in slow motion as Norman watched the paramedics strap you onto the hospital gurney.

"Is she gonna be okay? What's happening?" Norman frantically questioned as he hovered behind all the medics watching as they secured a neck brace around your neck.

"Sir, step back. We have to take her to the hospital." One of the paramedics informed as they lifted the gurney into the back of the ambulance.

"I gotta go with her, she's my girlfriend." He responded glancing into the back of the ambulance as the paramedics began climbing inside and setting up what he assumed was an IV drip.

"I'm sorry, there's not enough room. We're taking her to Piedmont Atlanta Hospital, meet us there." The paramedic instructed as he closed the back door of the ambulance before climbing into the front seat and driving off with the sirens flashing.

"I-I gotta go." Norman mumbled turning back towards the crew as he spotted the director who quickly nodded in understanding.

"Come on, I'll drive you. Boss we're taking the Jeep back to the trailers." Jeffrey shouted glancing over towards the producer before grabbing Norman's shoulder.

The two of them climbed into Negans Jeep and drove back to the actors trailers where their own vehicles where parked nearby.

"We'll take your truck, I can get my car later." Jeffrey stated and Norman just nodded as he handed over his keys, knowing he was in no condition to drive.

Neither of them spoke the entire drive to the hospital, what could he even say? His girlfriend had just been rushed to the hospital and he knew jack shit about what's happening other than the fact that she might have a possible head injury. But, what did that even mean? Was it serious? Was she going to be alright? He had so many questions, but zero answers.

Jeffrey didn't even bother finding a proper car park when they arrived at the hospital. He would deal with any parking tickets later, right now they needed to get inside the hospital and find Y/N.

"Which room is Y/N Y/L/N in?" Norman questioned as him and Jeffrey ran through the door of the hospital towards the front desk.

"Sorry sir, I can't give away client information." The young woman behind the desk answered.

"I'm her boyfriend! She just came in here from an ambulance, where is she? Is she okay?" He shouted clearly frightening the young woman as she flinch at his raised voice before Jeffrey grabbed his shoulder, calming him down.

"W-What was her name?"

"Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N." Jeffrey answered for him as they watched the receptionist type your name into the computer.

"The doctors are running a series of imaging tests on her at the moment. Once they finish, a nurse will come out and tell you what's happening. You guys can take a seat in the waiting area, there's also a cafeteria through that door if you want." The woman informed motioning towards the double doors to the right.

"How long will that take?" Norman questioned.

"25-30 minutes."

"Okay, thanks." Jeffrey replied giving the woman a nod before he slowly walked Norman over to the waiting room.

There were four rows of chairs lining the area, with a couple tables, one stacked with newspapers, the other stacked with children's toys, along with a large tv mounted to the far wall.

"They're doing scans, that's gotta be a good sign right? I mean they're not rushing her into surgery or anything, that's gotta be good." Norman rambled, taking a seat on the row of chairs leaning against the wall rubbing his face with his hands.

"I don't know, Norman. I hope so." Jeffrey replied sitting down beside him.

He glanced around the waiting room, glad that there were only a couple other people seated in the room. He was not in the mood to deal with any people who would recognise him, not now.

The two of them sat in silence for the next 50 minutes, neither knowing what to say as they stared at the clock on the wall across the room. What the hell's taking so long? They said 30 minutes, it's been nearly an hour, what else could they be doing?

"Who's here for Miss Y/L/N?" A nurse suddenly questioned, walking out through the a set of double doors near the front desk.

"We are. Is she okay? What's going on?" Norman frantically questioned as him and Jeffrey quickly walked over to the nurse, trying to read her masked expression.

"She has a subarachnoid hemorrhagic, which is basically bleeding between the brain and the membranes that cover it. She has been rushed into an emergency surgery and they are operating on her now as speak." The nurse explained glancing between the two of them as Norman stared at the woman in shock, he knew bleeding in the brain could be bad, but how bad?

"How long will the surgery take? Is she going to be okay?" Norman asked in worry as he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Over five hours at least, but I'm sorry sir, I can't tell you if she's going to be okay or not. The surgeons are doing the best they can to make sure she survives and fully recovers, but this kind of injury and surgery is highly dangerous. There is a chance that she might not make it." The nurse answered as Norman froze.

His heart stopped for a split second as he took in that information. There was a chance that you weren't going to survive? No, no, this couldn't be happening. Not to you, this couldn't be true.

"Hey, c'mon let's sit down. Keep us posted doc." Jeffrey said calmly as he grabbed Norman's shoulders which were now shaking as he carefully guided his friend down onto the nearest chair.

"S-She was fine after the accident. She had a massive bruise on her forehead from the fall, but she was just as bubbly and happy as usual afterwards. How could this happen?" Norman questioned out loud, unable to hold back the tears in his eyes as he dropped his head.

"Hey, she's the strongest woman I know. If anyone can get through this, it's her." Jeffrey replied softly resting his hand on Norman's back trying to comfort him.

"What if she doesn't?" Norman questioned lifting his head up to meet Jeffrey's own sad eyes as he shook his head.

"Don't go down that path, Bubba. You can't start thinking like that." He replied and Norman nodded knowing his friend was right. Y/N was strong, she had to make it. She had to because he didn't know what he was going to do if she didn't.

-

Slowly minutes turned into hours as they both sat on the hard cushioned chairs, spread out in the waiting room. The clock now just passing 11pm as the last person in the waiting room walked out, leaving them alone in the room.

They hadn't heard anything else from the nurse or surgeons which meant she was still in surgery and he wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. On one hand it was good because it meant she was still alive, but on the other it meant they still hadn't gotten all the blood out and it's been over six hours already.

"I'm gonna go get a coffee, do yo-" Jeffrey began asking, breaking the silence before his phone began ringing.

He quickly pulled it out his pocket flicking it to silent as he read the name on the screen.

"It's Hilarie, she's probably wondering where I am. I'll be back in a minute." Jeffrey said glancing over at Norman who nodded before he quickly stood up putting his phone to his ear as he walked out the room.

A couple minutes later he rushed back inside catching Norman's attention when he noticed the sudden shocked and panicked expression on the other man's face.

"She's in labour. My mother is with her at the moment and they're packing, getting ready to go to the hospital-"

"Go." Norman said cutting the man off as he looked over at his friend with a small smile. "Be with your girl. She needs you, man."

"You sure?" Jeffrey asked, not liking the idea of leaving him alone in the hospital when his girlfriend was in critical surgery.

"Go be with your family, I'll update you if I hear anything about Y/N." He replied as Jeffrey nodded pulling the car keys out his pocket, realising it was Norman's car he took.

"We will sort out vehicles later. Just don't scratch my truck." Norman joked, trying to show that he was okay as Jeffrey smiled with a nod before he jogged out the room.

"Please be okay, Y/N." Norman whispered, closing his eyes feeling tears threatening to spill as he rested his hands behind his head trying to calm his breathing.

Another hour went past and he still had no further information about what was going on.

He knew he was being impatient and that these sort of things took time, but he couldn't help it. His girlfriend could be dying right now and there wasn't a damn thing he could about it.

"Norman." A familiar British accent suddenly called out as he looked up to find Andy walking into the room.

"Hey, man." He replied, his voice thick with emotion as he stood up embracing his best friend into tight hug.

"I am so sorry, brother. Jeff called and told me everything, have you heard anything else?" Andy asked, but he shook his head, pulling away feeling tears starting to rise in his eyes again as they both sat down.

"I haven't heard anything for nearly eight hours, I don't know what's going on." He sighed leaning back in his chair as he took a deep shaky breath.

"Hey, she's going to be okay." Andy tried saying, but he quickly shook his head.

"You don't know that. She could die." He responded, his voice breaking at the end as he wiped his eyes with the palm of his hands.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes before Andy started talking again.

"Remember that time back during Season 4 when we were filming those Terminus scenes where Y/N was doing that stunt and broke her wrist? She pretended like she was fine for the whole day and none of us even noticed until we finished filming the last scene and she told us." Andy explained causing him to chuckle slightly at your stupidity.

"Yeah, she rolled up her sleeve and her wrist was just swollen and black. Nearly made Chandler throw up." He replied unable to hide his smile.

He remembered that day so clearly and how he drove you to the hospital despite you telling him that you were okay to drive. You had always managed to surprise him with how strong and brave you were, he just hoped like hell that this would be another one of those times.

"She..." Andy trailed off as a nurse began walking over towards the two of them.

"Miss Y/L/N, is out of surgery. The surgery went well, she should start to wake up in a few hours."

"So, she's gonna be okay?" Norman questioned a sliver of hope in his voice as he stared at the nurse.

"Yes, she'll be fine. Now usually I wouldn't allow this because visiting hours are over, but I know who you guys are. My daughter watches The Walking Dead and Y/N's character, George, is her favourite. Y/N's in room 32 through that hallway." The nurse replied motioning over her shoulder as they both gave her grateful nod before she began walking away.

"Go see her, I'll call Jeffrey and let him know whats happening." Andy said pulling his phone out from his pocket and Norman nodded.

"Thank you." He replied patting the man's shoulder before he walked off down the white hallway.

His eyes scanned the numbers on each door until he reached 32. He wasn't sure what to expect as he opened the door, but he did not expect this.

The room was dark, a small lamp lighting up the large room as a singular bed sat in the middle. But, that wasn't what shocked him, what shocked him was seeing your unconscious body laying on the hospital bed, cords and machines hanging up all around you. Even from where he stood by the door he could see how ghostly pale your skin was, along with the thick white bandage that was wrapped around your forehead.

Slowly he walked into the room, closing the door behind himself as he made his way to your bedside. He hated seeing you like this. You looked so small, so vulnerable lying there in that hospital gown and oxygen mask, it just wasn't right.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

He sat down on the plastic chair beside your bed, his hand resting on top of yours as he squeezed it gently. You had cuts and bruises all up your arms from when you crashed the motorcycle, along with the deep purple and blue bruise peaking out from under the bandage from the staircase incident.

"I should've noticed something was wrong earlier, I shouldn't have let you on that motorcycle." He sobbed, tears falling down his cheeks as he stared at your sleeping form, his shaky fingers gently brushing the hair out of your face.

How could he let this happen? He should've been more persistent on you taking a the day off, you should have never gotten on that bike.

"God, I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry." He whimpered, not bothering to wipe his tears away.

You were always so happy and full of life, so strong and fearless. You shouldn't be laying on a hospital bed completely helpless, it wasn't right and he couldn't stand seeing you like this.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there crying, but when he heard a soft knock on the door he quickly tried wiping away his tears before glancing over his shoulder as Andy slowly opened the door, a tray of coffees in his hand.

"How's she doing?" Andy asked quietly, shutting the door behind himself as he slowly made his way towards his two friends.

"Still unconscious." He replied, hating how weak his voice sounded as he turned back to your bed not wanting Andy to see his eyes which were no doubt red and puffy.

"Hey." Andy quickly said, placing the two coffees on the bedside table as he reached for Norman's shoulder, noticing how broken his voice sounded. "They said she's gonna be okay, what's going on?"

"I can't do this, man." He replied, standing up from his chair as took a few steps away feeling tears rise in his eyes again.

"You can't do what?" Andy asked carefully as he watched his best friend who's back was still turned to him.

"I can't do this! I can't sit here while she's lying on that fucking hospital bed after just having brain surgery, look at her! She's the most nicest, most caring and strongest girl I've ever met, she doesn't deserve this! She doesn't deserve any of this!" He yelled, his voice cracking as tears fell down his cheeks.

"Nobody deserves this, especially her. But hey, look at me." Andy instructed walking over to him as he reluctantly turned around, dropping his head as Andy grabbed the side of his face forcing him to look at him. "I know you're hurting brother, seeing her like this, it hurts me too. But you need to be strong, you have to be strong for her! She's gonna need you more than ever once she wakes up, you have to be strong."

"I know. I know." He whispered, wiping the tears from his eyes as he took a deep shaky breath.

"Come sit down, have some coffee." Andy replied motioning towards the coffee cups on the bedside table as the two of them walked back over to the bed.

"How's Hilarie going?" He asked after a few minutes, glancing over at Andy who was now sitting on a plastic chair beside him.

"Really good. She gave birth to a healthy baby girl about 20 minutes before I called. Jeffrey was so happy." Andy informed causing Norman to smile at the news, relieved that both Hilarie and the baby were doing fine. "They're actually at this hospital too, after finding out about Y/N, Hilarie refused to be taken anywhere else. They're up on Level 2 at the moment. You should come visit them with me, Y/N won't be awake for a while the doctor said."

"Nah, I ain't going anywhere until she wakes up. Go see the baby, I'll let you know when she wakes up." He replied nodding towards the door as Andy gave him a small smile.

"Y/N's lucky to have you. I'll be back soon."

-

You must have been asleep because everything was black and dead silent, minus a soft beeping sound in the background. What was that noise and why did it smell like disinfectants? You thought to yourself as you slowly opened your eyes.

Everything was blurry at first, your head still foggy from the nightmare you had about crashing your characters motorcycle. You blinked a few times forcing your eyes to focus and that's when you realised you definitely weren't at home.

You quickly turned your head in confusion, spotting some sort of heart rate machine and bunch of other machines you didn't know of. Where the hell where you? Looking down you realised you weren't in your usual pyjamas, you were wearing a hospital gown with some kind of IV needle sticking out your arm. You were in a hospital. Why were you in a hospital?

You quickly glanced around the dimly lit room in panic as your eyes landed on Norman who seemed to be fast asleep with his head on his arms which were resting on the side of your bed.

You felt yourself slowly relaxing now that you knew he was there, but why was he still wearing his Daryl uniform? He still had the vest on and everything, why didn't he get changed? You thought to yourself when suddenly it clicked.

It wasn't a nightmare. You did crash your characters motorcycle. You were filming that highway scene with Norman and Jeffrey, did you really hurt yourself that badly to end up in a hospital? You could have sworn you hit the brakes before falling off the bike, but by the thumping headache you were staring to feel, you were beginning to think otherwise.

You focused back on Norman as you gently began running your fingers through his hair and after a few minutes he began to stir. He slowly lifted his head, his tired eyes locking with yours and it took him a few seconds to process the fact that you were actually awake as his eyes went wide with shock.

"Hey." You said softly, your voice rough as you pulled the oxygen mask off and tried to clear your throat before Norman quickly grabbed a cup of water from the bedside table and handing it to you.

"You got it? Just slowly." He said hovering over you as you took a few sips of water before he placed the plastic cup back on the table. "How are you feeling?" He asked worriedly, his hand resting on top of yours squeezing it gently.

"Got a killer headache. What happened?" You asked, your voice a little clearer now.

"You had bleeding in your brain, probably caused from when you hit your head on those stairs during your fight scene. But, nobody realised until you crashed the motorcycle and passed out. The crew called an ambulance and they put you through into emergency surgery, I don't know the details, but they said you're going to fine." Norman explained as you stared at him in disbelief, trying to take in all that information. You were in surgery because your brain was bleeding? Holy shit, you didn't even hit your head that hard, did you?

"Shouldn't have let you continue working after the accident. If I-" He began saying, but you quickly cut him off knowing what he was going to say.

"It's not your fault. Don't even think about blaming yourself." You responded squeezing his hand gently when you noticed tears in his eyes as he shook his head.

"You could have died, Y/N. The nurse didn't even know if you were going to make it through surgery... I thought I was going to lose you." He mumbled, dropping his head, but you could tell by the way his shoulders were shaking, that he was crying.

"You didn't lose me. Hey, I'm okay. I'm okay." You said gently reaching your hand out to cup the side of his face as he leant into your touch. "I ain't going anywhere, Norman. It's going to be okay." You whispered, brushing your thumb against his cheek wiping away his tears.

"God, I should be the one comforting you, not the other way around." He mumbled, grabbing your hand against his cheek as he kissed your palm gently.

"I'm fine, Norman. Maybe once these painkillers wear off, it might be a different story. But I'm fine." You insisted as you started sitting yourself up in bed with Norman's help, wincing slightly at the thumping in you head.

Suddenly, his phone began to ring as he quickly pulled it out, realising it was a text message from Andy. He opened the message and he couldn't help the smile on his face when he saw the photo of Jeffrey holding his baby daughter.

"What's got you smiling like that?" You asked curiously watching your boyfriend beside you as he handed you his phone.

It took a few seconds to realise why Jeffrey was holding a baby before you started smiling too. She had her baby. You stared at the photo for a few seconds before Andy sent through a text with the photo.

'Meet George, a healthy baby girl who's already stolen Uncle Andy's heart. Also, Hilarie and Jeff wanted to name her after Y/N so they named her after Y/N's character, they're both relieved that she made it through surgery. Hope she wakes up soon.'

"They named her after my character." You whispered in shock as you handed the phone back to Norman who frowned in confusion before he saw the next text message as his face broke out into a smile. "She's beautiful."

"Must come with the name." He responded glancing up from his phone towards you as you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, because a bandage wrapped around my forehead with no doubt stitches in my head somewhere is attractive." You commented with a chuckle as he shook his head.

"You're still beautiful, Y/N." He replied, putting his phone away as he laced his fingers with yours and you smiled. "I love you so much." He whispered, placing a soft kiss over the bandage on your forehead.

"I love you too, Norman."

-

A/N- Link in bio for Masterlist. I will reblog with Daryl Dixon Tag List, if you want to be added to the list, just comment below. 

Anyway, this was my first ever Norman Reedus fanfic and I really enjoyed writing it, it was completely different writing for an actor instead of a character and I would like to write more in the future if you guys would like to read those sort of fics let me know in the comments below. 

Just a little heads up, I don’t really have any other fics finished to start posting (I have so many wip’s that i need to finish, but work and life is really busy and I don’t have much time these days to sit down and write, so I’m sorry in advance, but I might be a little bit quite on this site. 

I hope you all enjoyed this fic and I will keep you guys posted on my writing as often as I can. Anyway, until next time stay safe everyone and have a great day xx

[quirkfics]

hold my hand

a commission for a lovely anonymous commissioner <33

wordcount: 5k

warnings: smut, oral, biting, fluff, and a very small hint of vulnerability (on Toga’s part), aged up

pairing: Himiko Toga x F!Reader

You suppose this is what you get for not paying better attention to the directions you’d been given. No, I’ll be fine, you’d reasoned earlier. There’s GPS and a million apps! And then you’d left, not even bothering to give it another thought.

“I would have been fine,” you complain under your breath, glaring down at the phone in your hand, fingertips drumming impatiently along the back. “If only I had service out here.” It’s like you’ve stumbled into a maze in some kind of manufacturing district. There are too many tall, identical buildings towering over the streets- and the sun is starting to go down. There are still working streetlights, and plenty of people bustling about, but- your heart speeds as your eyes comb through the passersby. Most of them have a tired, factory-worker look about them, but a few of them look more like they should be smoking and drinking in run down bars than out walking on the streets. None of them look particularly friendly, especially with the sky rapidly darkening overhead. 

An argument breaks out across the street, followed quickly by a small tussle, and echoing jeers. You feel a little ridiculous, picking up the pace - they're not even looking your way - but you’d rather be safe than sorry in an unknown place. You’re so distracted by the fighting, and the thought of getting free of this situation, that you nearly walk into a pair of petite, outstretched legs. You catch yourself at the last possible moment, hand hovering over a pale calf, before you clutch at your chest instead as you take a step back. You glance at the low wall, heart thundering-

“Pretty lady looks lost,” the young woman sitting there teases, letting the heels of her shoes fall back against the cement block with a tap. She smiles, teeth sharp, her eyes glinting with gold- and words seem to fail you. As absolutely lovely as she is, and she is, you can’t help tracing your eyes over her calves again, or the vivid pink of her cheeks, or the way her hair frames her face- she feels more dangerous than any of the people you’ve passed on the street so far. You’re not sure whether it’s in the way she holds herself, shoulders relaxed, or maybe in the way she looks at you from underneath darkened eyelashes. Something about her gaze is sharp though, tangible enough to remind you of prickling needles. You feel like a sucker, liking it as much as you do.

“You can tell?” You ask, a rasp of a laugh escaping you. Part of you thinks that you probably shouldn’t have said that - what if she hangs out here to lure in unsuspecting women? And you- well, you may as well be a fish on a hook already. You’d come to her without any prompting, after all. 

“Ooh, for sure! You have that look about you - your eyes,” she says, her grin widening as she hops down from the wall. She lands lightly on the balls of her feet, skirt swishing around her thighs, and reaches out to lift up your unresisting hand for inspection. “The way you’re clenching your hands?” Her touch is gentle, but firm, coaxing you into uncurling your fingers. “All dead giveaways for a woman looking for a shortcut to the... nicer part of town.” She traces the lines of your palm, soft enough to tickle, and hums as she taps up your wrist. Her smile turns a little manic as your pulse speeds under her fingertips.

Her presence is a wonderfully heady one- she smells like sweetness and something metallic, almost coppery. You swallow, and take a step back, just to try and get a little bit more air. You let her keep the loose grip she has on your hand though, because you don’t actually want to walk away, no matter what your common sense is telling you. 

“Yeah, I- I lost service,” you offer, brandishing the phone in your other hand.

She hums, but doesn’t give more than a cursory glance to the lit screen before you tuck it back in your pocket, mildly self conscious. “Lucky for you, pretty lady, I just so happen to know one,” she says, and bats her eyelashes. She giggles in delight when an awkward smile blooms on your lips. “Oooh, look at that! Good thing you found me - they would all want a taste of that smile.”

She’s flirting. Isn’t she? Even though it comes off a little frightening. If you’d been walking, you would have tripped. As it is, you have to look away from her face, and hope she didn’t see the ridiculous expression that had come over you. 

“Looks like it is my lucky day then!” You get out, trying to even the look on your face. You nearly jump, biting your bottom lip when she carefully hooks her arm around yours, as familiar as a friend whose known you for years. She’s so- “Are you from around here?” You can’t help asking, hoping your voice doesn’t sound as choked as you feel. “Or do you just know the area? Work here, maybe?” You doubt she’ll want to answer, but you keep rambling anyway, until her wide grin grabs your attention.

“You want to know more about me?” She asks, that glint of fang catching your eye as she laughs again. It’s infectious, her laugh, though you’re not sure if it’s because it’s funny, or if it’s because this situation is a little bit scary. “Mmm, trading stories sounds fun, and if I didn’t have any other places to be…” She sighs though. She doesn’t seem to be in any rush to keep up the conversation, instead she picks up humming. It’s a soft, eerie tune under her breath that seeps into your subconscious. You just know it’s going to be stuck in your head later, but you let her tug you along anyway. The first two men you pass, you’re almost certain one of them is going to make some kind of snide remark - but she gives off such an air of otherness, of try me, please, that no one dares bother the two of you, despite full darkness falling. One man walking by opens his mouth a few minutes later - but his eyes widen and he looks away. You’re fairly sure he’s seen the flash of her sharp teeth, but she turns to watch him as you continue on. Maybe he’s just actually scared of her.

You can’t help wondering what her quirk is, and if she’s actually well known around the area. It would be more than rude to ask after something like a quirk though and you have to forcibly push away the thought. If she works for a crime syndicate, you’re not sure you want to know. Isn’t it better to be in the dark when it comes to something like that anyway? 

She cuts through a short alley, which has you tensing for a few seconds, but you’re fairly sure you’re going to get out of this with your person intact. If she’d wanted to accost you, you don’t think she’d bring you so close to bigger crowds. Less than two minutes pass before you’re seeing a few brighter streetlights - and up ahead the variety of people seems to double. There are families mulling about, and even a pair of cops. 

“Headed someplace special?” She asks, glancing at you when you startle and scuff your shoe on the pavement. After so long with only her humming for company, her speaking voice surprises you all over again.

“Not really? Shopping. Browsing- kind of both?” You say, and then laugh again, shrugging the shoulder she isn’t pressed against. “At least, that was the plan before I got lost. I might browse for a few minutes, but I’m probably running out of free time.” You fish your phone out of your pocket and nearly drop it when she picks up her pace, skipping over a crack in the pavement. You… You have service. And the shop will be closing in the next 30 minutes. She laughs when you mutter an expletive over closing time, but waits until you replace your phone before she skips over another crack.

“Better hurry then,” she says in a sing-song voice. “Shouldn’t we? What’s the store name, anyway?” She asks, waving brightly at a man leaning against a building, a nearly finished cigarette hanging from his lips. He raises an eyebrow, but otherwise says nothing. He doesn’t move from his spot either. You don’t know whether it’s because he doesn’t know her, or if- Well, that strange sense of danger she seems to give off never quite eases. Oh, she’s been friendly enough with you, but you get the feeling that she doesn’t usually run in polite circles, and that the guy might have been wisely keeping his distance. You wonder what it is about you in particular that made her decide to give you a hand, instead of- oh, robbing you or something. Maybe the tension and attraction you’ve been feeling isn’t just on your part.  

It’s hard not to feel like she’s somehow led you astray, like a cute blonde version of the Pied Piper of Hamelin. You’re still all too willing to listen to her humming as you tell her the shop name and let her lead you there, even though you now have these thoughts running through your mind. And you most definitely have service. It’s likely that she’s realized that too, but her arm is still twined firmly through yours, leaving your breath a little short.  

You might think this was all caused by her quirk, if you hadn’t been able to recognize infatuation heating your face and the back of your neck.

She’s pretty, and you’re ridiculous, you can’t help thinking, but she has a smile on her lips whenever she looks your way, and you still can’t shake the thought that she’s been flirting with you. 

“Such cute clothes,” she mutters when the shop comes into view. Her eyes widen, and the near-constant flush to her cheeks seems to darken. You’re tempted to tell her you want to buy her something, just for the hell of it, maybe to thank her. Really, you’d just like to keep that look on her face- but you keep quiet, distracted by the sight of her enjoyment in the displays “Better hurry!” She urges you, suddenly tugging you along a little faster. “Didn’t you want to make it before closing?”

She pushes you ahead of her as soon as you reach the doors, hands blazingly warm in the middle of your back. It leaves you a little breathless, and causes you to laugh. It is lovely here, you find, but when you turn to say something about it, she’s gone. Even with as handsy as she’s been this whole time, as bubbly and bright, flirting with you slyly - she’s vanished. You dart back outside, hoping to catch her, but it’s like she simply wasn’t here in the first place. You’d think you could catch sight of the cute little blonde buns in her hair, even in a crowd, but she’s gone. You can admit to yourself, even if it’s just a little, that you regret not asking for her number. You should have offered to get her something, if only to thank her.  

You sigh and turn back to the store. You still have a few minutes before it’s closed, and she’d gone out of her way to lead you here - you should at least take the chance to glance around before you head home. You pick up a cutesy keychain and but it on impulse. If nothing else, it’ll be a memento of the strange meeting.

You still can’t help but glance over your shoulder for the rest of the night, hoping to catch sight of her smiling face - and you end up being right. The song she’d been humming is stuck in your head. 

The days passing leave you feeling much the same. She’s constantly on your mind. Golden hair out of the corner of your eyes has you pausing in the street, nearly bowled over by passersby. A smile with a flash of sharper than normal teeth has you taking a second, and then a third glance, convinced with all your being that you must have seen her. You can’t stop thinking about her. About her laugh, and the way she’d been pressed against your arm. About the sly slide of her eyes towards you whenever she’d said something flirtatious. It felt like more than a casual hint, like there’d been something... Chemical between the two of you.  

You know the chances of running into her again in this city are… slim to none. You still hope though, you can’t stop yourself from hoping. It’s why, when you think you catch sight of her in the crowd one evening, you don’t even stop to consider what it is that you’re actually doing. You run, attempting to be as polite as possible, even while you’re gaining speed and bumping into people left and right. You hadn’t even thought to ask her name, and shouting anything along the lines of Fang Girl or Dangerous Lady doesn’t exactly inspire images of a happy, or even passingly fond second meeting. You lose sight of her as you’re rounding a corner, and then you have to come to a stumbling, breathless stop. You don’t see her. Just like that night she’d left you at the shop, she’s seemingly vanished into thin air, and you don’t have a chance in hell of finding her. Disappointment weighs down your shoulders, and the temptation to curse or slump against the wall of a building starts to rise. You turn on your heel, ready to resume the direction in which you’d been traveling and- you gasp. 

She’s right in front of you, close enough to touch, and she’s smiling almost shyly. She’s kind of swaying her hips too, just the slightest bit, like she’s having trouble keeping still.

“Looking for me, maybe?” She asks, and her golden eyed gaze darts over your face and the too-quick rise and fall of your chest. “You seemed awfully eager to catch me.” You have enough brainpower to bob your head in agreement, . “Awww, you care!” She looks delighted, but then she’s pulling you into a clinging hug that makes you overly conscious about being out in public. She’s not actually doing anything wrong, but you catch sight of more than a few people raising their eyebrows as she giggles and presses her cheek to yours.

You pull away as far as she’ll let you, before you do something ridiculous like breathe in, because you can just barely catch the scent of something sweet and tempting. If you let yourself linger at all, you feel like you’re going to make a fool of yourself. “Uh- I was hoping that I could get your name, and, I don’t know, your number? Seeing as-”

“You wanna be friends?” She’s smiling as she says it, leaning back into you. The soft tap of her fingertip against your lips has your mouth parting, thoughts running wild. 

“Yeah,” you say, and you must sound like you’re under some kind of spell, with how soft you’re speaking, with how reverent you sound, but then she’s slipping her hand into yours and pulling you along with her. This is only the second time you’ve met her, but you get the feeling that it's going to become a habit. Her toting you around like she’s got your heart on a string. 

“Call me Himiko,” she urges, and ‘Ooo’s over your name when you share it, mouthing it quietly and proceeding to test out different nicknames. “I like it,” she decides, and then checks you gently with her hip.”But I’ve been thinking of you as Pretty Lady in my head, and I’ve gotta say: I’m kind of attached.”

“...well who am I to fight such a flattering nickname?” You ask, both charmed and embarrassed, hurrying to match her stride when she skips. It’s utterly adorable, but at some point you have the feeling you’re going to trip if she keeps this up. “Uh, where are you headed, Himiko? I don’t want to interrupt you or anything, not if you’re busy.”

“Not too busy for you,” she teases, winking when she realizes your eyes are on her again. “I just needed to get out, you know? Too much work does not equal a cute complexion. What about you? Busy? Out shopping for cute clothes again? Oh!” She turns to you, clutching a bit tighter to your bicep, surprisingly strong for someone so petite. “Are you out meeting a lover?”

You can’t quite decide whether she looks comical or forlorn, turning that pouting face your way, but it startles a laugh out of you. “I didn’t have any prior plans,” you say, and part of you thinks that you should flirt somehow, say something sly about having plans now, or maybe you are meeting a lover - depends on if they’re up for it, wink, wink. You think she might appreciate it, but then satisfaction sweeps over her face, and she’s tapping at her chin, tilting her head so stray locks of blonde hair brush against you.

“So you’re up for making some with me?” She asks, biting at her bottom lip as she waits for your answer. It’s hard not to stare at the prominent canine tooth, pressed a little too intensely into her pink flesh, and you can’t help cursing yourself. You should have said something. 

“I- yeah. Yes. Did you want to get-”

“Some kind of treat!” Himiko insists, throwing both her arms up into the air and spinning. The flare of her skirt draws your eyes, and you have to hurriedly glance away. “I adore sweet things,” she declares, slinging her arm back around you, fingernails dragging pointedly over your shoulder. There’s an upturn to her mouth and a tone to her words that makes you think of things other than cakes or candy. Regardless of whether it’s true or not, you rush to agree - and are taken on a whirlwind tour through too many of the near-by bakeries and sweet shops. 

You insist on paying for the first thing she wants, at the very least it’s recompense for getting you where you were going, but Himiko takes over payment at the second place, and then doesn’t seem keen on parting ways. She keeps making up excuses about places you need to take a quick look at, keeps finding new topics to bring up, and before you realize it, the sun is starting to set. Your only goal had been grabbing her name and her number, at the very least, but it’s kind of turned into a date and- You still don’t really want to leave. And judging from the way she’s still holding your hand? Neither does she. Reflexively you squeeze, forcing yourself to breathe out evenly when she squeezes your hand back. Himiko doesn’t seem to care about social boundaries in the slightest. She’s been both sweet and teasing between one breath and the next, edging closer whenever you seem pleased with her attention, hanging onto your every word when you speak.

It isn’t hard to realize that you like her, that you have a crush, at the very least. Himiko has made you laugh more in the past few hours than you have in ages- not to mention how absolutely lovely you find her, how every touch is thrilling. Despite how much you’ve talked though, she hasn’t given you much information on herself, which has only reinforced your initial thoughts: Himiko doesn’t exactly move in heroic or even civilian circles. 

It’s a bit strange to find that you don’t particularly care. You don’t actually know anyway, and there are plenty of reasons as to why she could have turned to it in the first place. You have no reason to judge. 

“It’s getting a little late,” you blurt, and then cringe when she turns to you with a frown on her face. You hadn’t meant it to sound that way, almost like you’re eager to leave - you’re most definitely not, and you don’t want her to think that. 

“Really?” She complains, though you’re pleased to find that she doesn’t sound accusatory, only disappointed. “I guess the whole time flying fast thing is true,” she says with a sigh. She almost wilts with the force of her emotions - her shoulders slump, and her expression turns pouty.

“You’ve had fun then?” You ask, smiling for a moment before you glance down at the ground. You’re not sure why it’s so hard to look her in the eye. She’s never been anything but kind to you, hasn’t been cruel in any of her teasing… Maybe it’s just that you don’t really want to stop looking. If you don’t force yourself, you’re going to walk into a streetlamp or something.

“I’ve just loved getting to know you better, pretty lady,” Himiko says, her pout quickly curling back into a grin. “This is the best time I’ve had in forever.” She purposely pulls you off balance, right into a kiss, and throws her arms around your shoulders to keep you close. You already know you like her, that you’ve been enamored with her since she hopped off of that wall, but you feel like you’re lost when she nips at your bottom lip. She deepens the kiss as soon as you gasp, making a soft huff of a noise that leaves you a little dizzy- and then her sharpened canine grazes your lip. 

You pull back, though not away, flicking your tongue over the tender spot, and nearly fall when Himiko yanks you back into another kiss. It’s messy and warm, and- you stand up as straight as possible, clutching awkwardly at her back. Himiko’s gaze looks a little hazy, like she’s drunk on the kisses.

“Why’d we stop?” She asks, blinking slowly, her grip on your neck loosening. 

“Uh, did you maybe want to head someplace? My place?” You offer, glancing pointedly at a group of teenagers, staring and snickering behind their hands.

Her confusion turns back to glee. “Don’t want to show off?” She teases, lifting her chin for a good kissing angle. “Bet we could.”

You can’t help but laugh - though you do sneak a very quick kiss on her lips, ignoring the way she pouts when you pull back again. “Two lovely looking ladies out here? Yeah, I’m sure we could. I don’t really feel.. Comfortable showing off that much though.” It occurs to you that she might be trying to respectfully decline, but as soon as you open your mouth to try and smooth over any potential discomfort, Himiko is wrapping her arms around you again. 

“Take me home then, pretty lady, and show off just for me.”  

Getting Himiko back to your place after that is… A bit of a challenge. She seems to like the fact that you’re mildly embarrassed about voyeurism, and though she toes the line of propriety, she takes every chance she can to tease you about it. You get distracted in an alleyway for a few minutes - and by then it’s reached true dark. 

“Himiko,” you grump, trying to hold back the smile that wants to grow whenever she laughs. “Wait until we’re inside, ok? Oh!” You halt, recalling the keychain you’d bought the first night you met her. 

“But it’s so far,” she whines, going limp in your arms. You have to struggle for a moment to keep her from falling to the ground. “Right here seems perfectly shadowed. ..But maybe not clean,” she decides, eyes straying to a bit of trash. “I guess I can keep going for a little bit.” 

“We’re almost there!” You say, for the third time, shivering when she brushes the tip of her cold nose over your pulse. “Besides, I have a gift for you. I picked it up-” Himiko doesn’t break skin, but her teeth pressing daintily into your throat has your eyelids growing heavy. Part of you wonders how often she gets her way, doing things like this. “Himiko,” you say, a little roughly, blinking when she pulls away. 

“Distracted?” She wheedles, and breaks out into uncontrollable laughter when you usher her out of the alley. “So easy to tease,” she adds, and tries to urge you into skipping the rest of the way - until she recalls what exactly you’ve said. “You got me a present? You were out looking for me,” she breathes, and you can tell she’ll halt things again if you let her. The promise of a gift does speed things up everything to do with walking though. Himiko doesn’t try and pull you into anymore alleyways, and she stays in the direction you’ve pointed her. 

You still arrive back at your place out of breath and chilled by the night air. Himiko kicks her shoes off at the door and throws herself down in the front room, humming again as you close the door and lock up. She rolls onto her back as soon as you’re finished, stretching one leg into the air and making a pillow out of her arms behind her head. 

“Present?” She reminds you, watching out of the corner of her eye as you hold up a hand in a wait a moment gesture, and leave the room to get it.

You don’t know why you think she’ll stay where you left her. You’ve seen it a handful of times already - Himiko moves like a shadow and vanishes on a dime! As soon as your hand closes around the keychain sitting on your nightstand, you realize she’s sitting on the end of your bed. 

“Himi- you scared me!” You say with a laugh, interrupted by her snagging your wrist and pulling you in close. 

“Would holding my hand make you feel better?” She asks, voice pitched a little lower, almost rough as her eyes drift from your mouth, down to your throat. One too many scenarios drift through your head. 

“That might,” you murmur, letting her pull you onto the bed, arranging you until you’re lying beneath her. 

“Might,” she whispers, lips just barely brushing yours. “Then I suppose I have a few things to try.” The tension between you finally breaks like a dam, sweeping you into the rush of messy kissing and wandering hands. Himiko kisses and nips at your lips until they’re nearly buzzing, and only then does she pepper a few stray kisses along your jawline before her sharp teeth graze over your pulse. You must make a noise, because she pauses, blinking a little fast, before that manic grin curls her mouth. “Pretty lady likes teeth,” she whispers, and those words are so full of pleasure that you shiver. 

“Y-yes,” you say, unable to hide the gasp that escapes you when she bites. It’s not hard, not yet, at least, but the sharpness of her teeth is electrifying. You feel it down to your toes, and it’s almost like she can hear the thought as she drags a hand down your chest, digging nails cut short into whatever exposed skin she can find. You’re not sure when you let go of the keychain, but you hear a soft clink as it hits the ground, sliding smoothly off of your comforter as your slide your hands up her back. 

Himiko slips a knee between your legs, bracing herself, and then curls her other hand around the back of your neck. She starts making noises, little moaning sounds like she’s not close enough, and her hand on your abdomen starts fumbling with your clothes, slipping beneath layers until her hand is between your thighs, fingers warm and arching.   She pulls away, lips absolutely red from all the friction and draws in a desperate gulp of air. “So sweet,” she whispers, panting, and pulls her hand away, after having just barely gotten started. “Can I see how sweet you are in other places, pleease?”

All it takes is a quick nod of your head before she’s working on divesting you of clothing. You can’t help touching your neck - but there isn’t any blood there, though not for lack of trying. Her fingers on your bare knees distract you from further thought, and then her teeth in your thigh has you whimpering. 

“Himiko,” you whisper harshly, curling your hands around the tops of your thighs. “You-”

She sucks a kiss into your inner thigh, glancing up at you from under her lashes as her hand goes back to work. She’s ridiculously good at this, with nimble fingers, just barely calloused, and the careful nips and bites you’re going to be liberally coated with come daylight. She barely lifts her mouth from your skin- just enough to tell you how good you taste, and how she wants you to keep smiling at her the way you do, like you-

“Like you like me,” she breathes, pupils dark enough to drown in. Your hips arch as you orgasm, though you try and keep still, shaking to pieces under her touch. 

“Do like you,” you say, thighs still quivering as she slows. “I do like you. ‘S why-” You pat awkwardly around the bed, searching for the keychain until Himiko gets the picture. She pulls away from you long enough to pick it up- and then makes a shrill noise when she sees the little fanged creature.

“My present?” She asks, smile so wide it hurts.

“Of course,” you have enough time to say, before she’s launching herself back into your arms.  

You forget about worrying then. It might be ill advised, having a virtual stranger in your bed, but- you don’t regret her. You’re looking forward to spending a lot more time with Himiko- especially when you wake up and she’s still beside you.

[self-excellence]

FIX YOUR SLEEPING SCHEDULE (1-2 months)

Try to wake up earlier every day. Like 5 - 10 min earlier than the day before. Until you wake up any time before 8am or so…

If you struggle with waking up & snooze button is your bff:

Put your alarm clock as far away from the bed as possible.

Drink a glass of water right after you wake up.

Pour another glass of water on yourself right after you wake up.

Prepare some coffee the night before (try the cold brew method), leave it by your bedside, drink it after you wake up. Alternatively, buy some caffeine pills and take one right after waking up with a big glass of water.

Have your blinds/curtains open the night before, so that it’s bright after you wake up.

Try to go to bed 5-10 min earlier than the night before.

Track how many hours of sleep you’re getting. Aim to get at least 7h per day or 49h per week. 

Increase your sleeping hours incrementally. Aim to get at least 1h of sleep more than the previous week. For example, if this week you slept for 41hrs, aim to get an extra hour of sleep next week, so it’s 42h. Once you get enough hours of sleep and wake up early-ish:

Try to keep your sleeping schedule consistent. It is really important to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Even if it’s weekend. Or even if that means getting less than 7hrs of sleep that day. I’d say waking up at the same time everyday is the most important step, which will help you the most with fixing your sleeping schedule.

START EATING HEALTHY (1-2 months)

This step really depends from person to person, but firstly I suggest you take some blood tests to see if you have any deficiencies, etc. Especially, if you struggle with cravings.  

Try intermittent fasting, if you struggle with binge eating or overeating. As it will help you to learn to listen to your body better: when it’s hungry, when it’s full, etc. It’s really simple, there are many methods of Intermittent fasting, but I’d suggest 16/8 for the beginners. (Google it for more info)

DRINK ALL THE WATER. Again, if you’re not drinking enough water, try to level up your water game incrementally. Download some water tracking app on your phone to help you. Drinking water will make you more energetic, increase your metabolism, and decrease you appetite (among many more benefits). If you really struggle with meeting your water intake:

Reward yourself when you meet your daily/weekly goals.

Drink through the straw - idk why, but you are going to drink much more if you use a straw. Trust me.

Get a nice water bottle. 

Flavour your water with fruits etc.

Check this video for more tips

Track what you eating. I would really suggest tracking your meals for around a month. Because, most of the time people have no idea that what they’re eating is unhealthy. Again, download an app to your phone for that.

Make your own meals once in a while. Not only this will save you money, but it’ll help you to see what’s really going into your body. Start by doing that once a week and build it up depending how much time and energy you have.

Eat less meat and more veggies/fruits. Go to your local market and buy some veggies/fruits, you have never tried before. I’m sure you’ll find your new favs. Eat/buy less meat. Not only it’s good for the environment, but it is good for you, too. Get a veggie burger instead of the beef one, etc.

Cut dairy. Find your new favourite milk substitute. Advice: Oat milk is really good with the tea and oatmeal/porridge; hazelnut milk is amazing on it’s own; cashew milk goes well with cereals.

Learn more about nutrition in general. It will help you to make better food choices and it will make eating healthy much easier in general, because once you understand all the chemistry behind the food and what it does to your body, you kinda don’t want to make yourself feel worse. Here are some free resources: - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerd’s YouTube Playlist about nutrition - What I’ve Learnt YouTube Playlist - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerd’s YouTube Playlist about nutrition

GET PHYSICALLY FIT (2-6 months)

Define your goals. Do you want to lose weight, do you want to get stronger, gain weight, be able to climb the stairs without losing your breath, run 5k?

Remember - you’re half-way through. Being physically fit has a lot to do with what you put into your body. So, if you fulfilled the previous step of eating healthy - you are halfway through!

Make a plan. A Reasonable plan. Be honest with yourself. Alternatively, there are many already-made plans if you’re feeling lazy. Like, Couch to 5k for running,  Beginners 30-day exercise guide, 30 days of yoga, etc.

Start small. Like, 5 min exercise in the morning. Or doing 10 sit ups per day. Don’t do anything overwhelming, like running 5k everyday if you haven’t run for the past 5 years.

Make sure that you kinda like what you’re doing. If you absolutely hate running - don’t do it. Hate doing sit ups in the morning? Try some yoga instead.

Explore until you find what you like. You don’t have to go to gym to get fit, especially if you hate it. Find a type of exercise, which you actually like. Maybe it’s dancing or hiking, taking your dog for a walk. Sign up for several trial lessons of various sport clubs. Ditch ‘em if you have them until you find something that you love. Stick with that.

Do the small changes in your everyday life. Stairs>Escalator, Walk>Drive, Do some squats while brushing your teeth, switch from regular desk to standing desk, etc…  Find ways to incorporate being active into your everyday life

Track your effort instead of your progress. You cannot really control your progress that much (especially if your goal was to lose weight). However, you can always control your effort. So track it instead. This will leave you more motivated. As you will be able to see that you can do more and more everyday. Whereas, if you tracked your progress, you may not always get the result you hoped for, which might demotivate you and make you upset, wanting to quit.

BEAT DEPRESSION

Do the previous 3 steps and you’re halfway through as mental health depends a lot on the physical health.

See a therapist/doctor. Depression is an illness requiring medical treatment. So, get it. Remember:  there is absolutely no fucking shame in having a mental illness.

Get some extra support. Talk to your friends or family. Or maybe someone on the internet.

Write it out. If you don’t want to talk - write down your thoughts. It can be just as helpful. It’ll help you to understand yourself better, see problems in your thinking, etc. Buy a cheap notebook (or expensive one, up to you) and start a journal. Try being consistent by writing every morning or evening or both, but DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF if you miss some entries. Read through your past entries. Analyse them. Extract the lessons.

Distract yourself from yourself. Get someone/something to take care of, so that you can, for a moment, stop thinking about yourself. E.g, get a plant, or a dog, or a fish and focus on keeping them alive and well.

Self-care day. Dedicate at least one day per week for self-care. Take yourself out to a museum or some fancy cafe, do some stuff you like, whatever your hobbies are, do some physical self care: bath, face mask, manicure, etc., listen to some nice music, watch a film…..

STOP PROCRASTINATION

Celebrate your victories instead of mourning over your loses. So the only thing you’ve done today was write one sentence for your 20 page essay? Amazing! Buy yourself a candy for that!! I mean, you could’ve done nothing, but you didn’t - you wrote that one sentence and that’s worth celebrating.  Redefine the success - doing something is a hundred million times better than doing nothing.

Do it for only 2 minutes. If there’s an important thing you’ve been putting off for a while, tell yourself that you will only spend 2 minutes on doing it. If after 2 minutes you don’t want to do it anymore, great, stop it. However, after 2min. you actually might want to do more. No pressure either way.

Track your productivity. Track how much time you’ve been productive that day. Try to increase that time by a little bit every day.

Always forgive yourself. So, it’s been a week and you’ve done nothing? Don’t sweat it. Let it go. Blaming yourself will bring you absolutely nothing. Nothing good will come out of your negativity on yourself. So stop it. Forgive yourself and start again. And again, if you need to. Never stop trying. Always pick yourself after you fall. Beating procrastination and increasing your discipline is a skill. And all skills can be build on. There is nothing in you stopping you from changing. Remember that.

LEARN HOW TO DO TAXES (1h - 1 day)

Go to google.com.

Type in: “How to do taxes *the name of the country you’re living in*”

Read the results.

Alternatively, if you like socialising, ask some adults, whom you know, about it. Trust me, older people love teaching us youngsters. Learn all the lessons you can from them.

GET MENTALLY STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE PHONE CALLS

Remember that just as with beating procrastination, making phone calls is a skill. And, again, skills can be learnt.

Get a new SIM card.

Top it up.

Dial some random numbers and pretend to be a salesman, selling whatever you like.. E.g., trying to sell broadband, cable tv, trying to get people to donate for some charity… Or whatever really… Me and some friends used to pretend we’re selling kittens or wood logs. Alternatively, you can pretend that you dialed a wrong person and talk about whatever, e.g. “Hey, Jess!! You wont believe what I saw today!! *start telling a made-up story*…”

If you get uncomfortable - just drop the call. No consequences whatsoever.

Repeat until you build up your game and your phone-call anxiety starts to diminish.

SLAY THOSE BITCHES Congratulations, now you’re ready to take over the world! Got get ‘em!!

(before reblogging, check the updated version of this post here)

[chillmichelle]

Harry’s a Politician, and Y/N’s a Baker who just happens to support him

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: Smut, really filthy

-

Everyone knew who Harry Styles was.

It wasn’t just the fact that he had dashingly good looks, green eyes being able to pierce through metal with a tall stature and a jawline that could cut diamonds, or the fact that he’d graduated from Oxford at the top of his class.

It wasn’t even the fact that, at the age of 18, he’d founded one of the most successful tech companies in London, alongside his partner who he eventually beat out to become sole CEO of the company.

It was the fact that, at the mere age of 25, he had made the decision to run for a position in the House of Commons. And what was even more astounding was the fact that he was projected to win.

But with all of the glitz and the glamour that surrounded him, he’d never had a girlfriend. He’d never had time to find women, and the ones he knew, he was disinterested by.

Only fools were unaware of who he was, and only fools would assume that he wasn’t ready to fill the position rightfully. Although he was significantly younger than most people in politics, he was also significantly intelligent. But with the majority of the public, and the representatives in the House of Commons, saying that he was ‘too young’ or ‘too unqualified’, Harry knew he had to work twice as hard to stand a chance at beating out his opponent.

Campaigning was an important part of any political election. And Y/N knew this.

She’d never considered herself someone that was too into politics, She had her own beliefs, yes, but she was never one to actively like a certain candidate, let alone put aside some of her personal time just to campaign for them.

But then, she found out about him.

He was merely a few years older than her, yet he was accomplishing so much. She remembered the first time he’d stopped by her bakery in London to pick up a cupcake, and remembered the charming glint in his green eyes. She’d been too shy to speak to him, quickly handing him his change and scuffling out of the way, but he was incredibly humble for someone in shoes worth more than her month’s rent.

So when her friend approached her with a flyer she’d plucked off of a bulletin board of a bar, showcasing a campaign event for the man she was so impressed by, she easily agreed to support him in his endeavors. Just because she was practically invisible to him, didn’t mean she couldn’t admire him from afar.

-

“Polls are down by 3% this week”

Y/N’s been at the event for about an hour, and she doesn’t think she's ever been this bored in her life. What she thought was going to be, perhaps remotely interesting, proves to be the complete opposite as she’s surrounded by sorority girls gushing over how attractive he is and arts students from the local university arguing with each other about tax regulations.

She stood in the back of the room, scrolling through her phone absent mindedly as she tried to avoid any attention from anyone. Her friend was chatting, arguing amongst some boys in pastel shirts and boat shoes, and Y/N wants to scoff at how stuck up some of the people look.

Rubbing at her eyes, she sneakily reaches into her purse, pulling out a cake pop to ease the growling in her stomach. She nibbles at the white chocolate, tinging at the strawberry flavoring while she scrolls through her phone.

But just as she goes in to take the final bite of her cake pop, she hears a voice from behind her that makes her jump up in her boots and drop the rest of the savory dessert onto the floor.

“Mind if I take one for myself?”

And when she turns around, she’s met with striking Green eyes. He’s dressed in a plain white dress shirt, along with some black skinny jeans and some brown boots. He looks completely normal, but Y/N doesn't have time to be surprised over his normality because she’s registering the fact that he’s really in front of her.

Thinking quickly, she reaches into her purse to pull out the pink paper bag of cake pops, and holds them out to Harry. The Harry Styles. She watches as the powerful man pulls out a pink cake pop and nibbles at the white chocolate frosting.

“Strawberry?” He questions, his plump pink lips moving as he chews on the flavor. Y/N nods slightly, still processing his presence.

“I love strawberry.” He tells her, licking the melted chocolate off of his fingers. She’s surprised no one has noticed him yet, but then she remembers she’s in the literal corner of the room.

“You look familiar.” He tells her, narrowing his eyes as he scans her up and down. Y/N awkwardly stands there, body stiff as she debates what to say to him.

“You do too.” She blurts out, and she feels like punching herself in the face at how stupid her remark was. Of course he looks familiar, it’s not like he’s the most successful man in London or anything, she thinks to herself.

His face is plastered across the room on several posters, his name on the radio and in the news every two seconds.

Harry lets out a laugh, a little giggle that Y/N thinks is adorable for a man of his prestige.

“Say, do you own a bakery just off of downtown?” He asks her. She isn’t aware of how he’s recognized her, especially after all of the people he’s probably met, many of them being much more important than her, without a doubt.

“Ah, I thought I recognized the strawberry cake.” He tells her. He sticks out his hand for her to shake, “Harry Styles.”

“Y/N.” She tells him, her eyes drifting to the tattoos on his hand and the rings decorating his long  fingers. She tries to look away from the light green pools in his eyes, afraid she’ll drown in them if she stares for too long.

“I remember you make quite the cupcake.” He tells her, “Best i’ve ever had, actually. You don’t think you could teach me how to make them?” He suggests, and Y/N is baffled at his words.

Is he asking me on a date?

Surely he’s just being friendly, there’s no way.

“It’s quite simple, really.” She tells him honestly. He smiles, shaking his head as if he can’t believe something’s happening as he crosses his arms across his chest and rocks back and forth on the heels of his feet.

“Then i’m sure you wouldn’t mind teaching me.”

He pulls out one of the pens tucked into the pocket of his black jeans, clicking it loudly before scribbling something onto the pink pastry bag with her cake pops that she still holds. After he’s finished, he clicks the pen shut and hands her the bag.

“If you ever want to give me some baking lessons.” She raises her eyebrow at him, “I think someone as smart as you could figure out how to make some cupcakes.” She tells him playfully, trying not to stumble on her words.

“M’quite shit at things that don’t have to do with numbers.” he smiles at her, reaching into the bag she’s holding to snag another cake pop. He takes a bite out of the small ball of sweetness, “And I don’t think any cupcakes I could make could compete with these.”

Just as he finishes speaking, they both hear his name being screeched out of a high pitched voice. Everyone turns their heads to where he stands, right in front of her at the back of the room, and Y/N quickly scurries away, feeling two eyes burning holes into her back as she rushes out.

-

Y/N’s fingers are shaking as she holds her phone in her hands. Her eyes scan over the pink bag and the screen once more to make sure the number is correct before she presses the little green phone button.

She hears the line ringing and she panics as she realizes she hadn’t planned out what she was going to say at all.

She’s spinning all the different possibilities of what to say in her head, her mind exploding from all of the thinking, but before she can even think about what to say, a gruff voice interrupts her thoughts.

“Hello?”

Shit.

Y/N thinks as she holds the phone to her ear, she’s panicking and she's gripping onto her apron, eyes scanning the oven full of cupcakes as she speaks into the phone.

“H-Hi.” She squeaks into the phone.

“Who is this?” The voice immediately presses on and Y/N doesn’t know how to approach the situation. Does she greet him as if they’ve known each other for a long time? Does she ask him if he knows a Y/N? She’s overanalyzing everything he says.

“Y/N?” She hears suffering on the other side of the line, “Is that you?”

Her heart almost pounds out of her chest, and she’s shocked he even recognized her. He probably talks to hundreds of people a day.

“Uh, yeah.” She doesn’t know how to go about asking him to come to the kitchen and test run recipes with her, she isn’t sure how to ask anyone out on a date and quite frankly, she’s afraid of rejection.

“Oh.” He says, “How are you?”

“Good.” She quickly says, “Was just…testing new cupcake recipes, and I was thinking maybe you would want to come?” She rushes out, her words may have been incoherent from how quickly she spit out her proposal.

“You don't have to if you don’t want to, of course. Or if you’re b-busy. Or if you’re at work. Or-“

Harry cuts her off with a boastful laugh, his laugh echoing into the phone. She feels somewhat better at his good mood, facing a smile as she fiddles with the hem of her apron.

“I’d love to. Is it the bakery right off of 22nd?” His voice sound raspy over the phone, and Y/N’s heart thuds t just how amazing everything about him is. She nods, but then realizes she’s on the phone, rushing to respond,

“Yeah.”

“Alright, i’ll see you in a bit then.” He tells her, and Y/N quickly presses the red button to hang up the call before gripping her chest in surprise. She smiles to herself, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth and smiling like an idiot.

-

Harry shows up 30 minutes later, two paper bags in his hands filled with organic eggs, milk, flour, sugar, and butter. His cheeks are flushed pink, and his green eyes almost look lime green at the glow they have to them. He greets her with a short peck on the cheek, and she almost melts into the floor at his gesture.

“Alright then, lets get to baking.” Y/N hands him an apron to put on over his clothes and he struggles to tie the material around him. She giggles, watching him attempt to tie a knot without seeing it, and reaches behind his back to tie it for him instead.

Harry’s a rather good baker.

He tells her about how his mum would force him to whisk the eggs whenever they would make cookies as a child. Or how she’d practically force him to make muffins for his sister whenever she was sick.

He stands next to her, intently watching her ice the cooler cupcakes, watching her swirl patterns effortlessly onto the frosting of the cupcake. Harry sneakily dips his finger into the bowl when she’s not looking and scoops some of the sugary goodness into his mouth.

He’s very childlike and fluffy when he ices his cupcakes, mouth slightly parted as his eyebrows furrow in concentration. When he messes up, he stomps his foot like a toddler and mumbles curses under his breath, Y/N observing his cute nature as he does so.

They end up making 3 batches of cupcakes, all of them different flavors, and they conclude the flavor they’ll add to the bakery’s menu. After they’re finished, she packs Harry some of the cupcakes they made, along with some of the signature cupcakes from the bakery, and she hands them to him in a bakery box with the store’s logo on it.

“After they’re done baking, Y/N goes to scrub at some of the dirt bowls in the sink. She grabs the sponge, swirling it around the batter to scrub it off, but just as she’s getting ready to wash off her last pan, she feels two hands circle around her waist, and she drops the pan into the sink.

The sound echoes into the kitchen, and she’s properly shocked at the sound, but instead of lingering on the thought, she leans back into Harry’s chest, his heard thudding quickly against her back as she feels his breath on the top of her head.

“Thank you for today.” He tells her, mumbling the words into her head. She nods, flicking the rest of the water off of her hands before turning around. It’s then that she notices how close they are to each other, faces practically touching each other’s.

“Sometimes I forget what it’s like to just-“ His face inches closer to hers, “Have a good time.”

Y/N breaks eye contact, she barely knew Harry, and she certainly wasn’t absolutely certain on how he felt about her. She didn’t want to be someone he just slept with, so she clears her throat and turns to grab another cupcake, quickly stuffing her face into it. Harry lets out a small laugh at her flustered action before grabbing one for himself.

-

The clock is hitting 9:49, only 11 minutes left until Y/N can go home. She sighs, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She’s dismissed al of the other workers, and all she has left to do is wait 11 minutes before locking up the doors and leaving.

Harry’s been the only thing on her mind all day. Every time she looks at the cupcakes in the clear display case, she can’t help but think of his horrible frosting skills. And every time she beats another egg into her butter-sugar mixture to make chocolate chip cookies, she thinks of Harry’s playful stories he told to fill the silence.

She smiles, silently laughing at her own thoughts before she hears the door jingle and snaps her eyes to the front of the bakery. She see’s the silhouette of a figure in a black coat, and assumes it’s another customer coming in before closing, but she’s shocked to see that it’s Harry, snow melting in his pretty brown hair with a smile on his soft face.

“Hello love, thought i’d drop by for a cupcake.”

Y/N smiles, stepping forward to wrap her arms around his neck and give him a hug. Even though she hadn’t known him for long, she missed him more than she was supposed to, and she didn’t know whether or not that was a good thing.

-

The next night, Harry drops by again, this time 30 minutes before closing. They roam around the kitchen, attempting to make a quick batch of cookies, but end up staying till later. Y/N doesn’t mind, though, and she goes home with flour on her face and some warm chocolate chip cookies in her bag.

The night after that, Harry surprises Y/N with dinner (That she usually either skips, or substitutes with dessert food) and they dine on local pasta as they watch one of the channels that only plays cartoon shows all day.

It’s the night after that’s Y/N’s favorite.

Harry walks into the bakery, no smile on his face or crinkle in his eyes. His face looks rather sad, and Y/N notices his eyes are a rather darker shade of green. She comfortingly wraps her arms around him and Harry tucks his face into her neck, breathing in the sweet scent of her perfume as he sighs contently.

“I messed up.” He says, his voice croaking out at his sad state. Y/N’s pretty sure he’s been crying, but she doesn’t want to assume anything so she just holds him as he continues.

“They asked me, and I, I should’ve known that they would ask me it because they don’t like me.” He says, sniffling, “They say i’m too out of touch to run, that i’m too young to know what i’m talking about.”

Y/N entangles one of her hands in his hair, and his hand in return slides under the fabric of her apron, gripping at the soft cotton of her shirt as he tries to hole himself together.

“You’re one of the most brilliant people I know, Harry.” She tells him. He lets out a shaky breath and she pets at his hair, “They’re just afraid because you’re so successful so young. They’re jealous, but instead of proving them right, you should prove to them you’re just as qualified as anyone else. Even more.”

Y/N untangles herself from him, her hand reaching down to knit itself through his. His cool metal rings touch her fingers as she slots their hands together, and pulls him towards the kitchen.

Y/N quickly brews two cups of tea, making small talk with Harry. He’s initially unresponsive (due to his mood, Y/N thinks), but he eventually eases up, telling Y/N more stories of his childhood. Y/N’s glad to have someone like him, someone to make her nights just a bit less lonely and her days go by faster, someone to keep her hoping.

When she’s finished with her cup, she grabs his empty mug to go place into the sink. While she’s on her way there, she feels a tug on her hand, and is abruptly turned around, her torso pressing against a warm body.

She’s short of breath, eyes immediately meeting his swollen, tired ones. His eyes are like little pools of Emeralds, the scent of peppermint tea lingering on his lips. He begins to lean forward, and instead of backing away or moving like last time, she flutters her eyes shut and embraces the feeling of his soft lips molding against hers.

It feels like an eternity, and she’s the first to pull away. Her eyes are wide as she feels tingles shoot up to her lips, and she notices the faint smile lingering on his lips.

“I like you, Y/N.” He rests his forehead against hers, hands resting on her waist, “A lot.”

She nods against him, closing her eyes and letting his warmth envelope her. “I have a press run for the next two weeks.” Her eyes snap open, “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with you more than anything,-“

“You should go.” She cuts him off, voice soft, “This is important for you, you worked so hard for this, Harry.” She tells him.

“Go.” She repeats, and he smiles at her words before leaning forward to press another peck onto her lips.

“I’ve liked you since I first came in here.” He tells her truthfully. Y/N feels her heart start to race, her mind turning to goop as he tells her more, “You looked so beautiful, and you were so…pretty.” His lips move slowly, eyes scanning up and down her face. “You don’t see that much when you work in the fields I do.”

His fingers go to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear, thumb caressing at her soft cheeks as he admires the beauty mar on her jaw.

“I think there’s a reason I met you, no?”

And Y/N doesn’t know much, but she knows she’ll miss Harry much more than she thinks.

-

“Anyways, thank you for the cupcakes, Y/N, i’m sure Allen will love the new flavors.”

Closing the cash register just five minutes before the clock finally strikes ten, Y/N waves goodbye to the kind woman walking out of her local bakery. 

“Anytime Darla, I hope I see you at the second opening next week.”

Y/N had finally raised enough money from her bakery to open her second a few miles away. The newly opening bakery would be closer to the more prestigious neighborhoods in town, and would hopefully draw in more business to her store. Grabbing the dessert tongs, she grabs the few extra cupcakes and scones to place them into a cute little box, perhaps offering them to her neighbors or her best friend.

Just as she places the tongs back onto their little glass plate on top of the display case of desserts, she hears the little bell jingle signaling the door is opening. She glances at the clock, seeing the clock has hit ten and just as she turns around to tell the person they’re closed, she immediately shuts her mouth, lips curving upwards into a wide grin.

“I’m sorry, is it too late for a cupcake? I heard the girl who owns this place has the most amazing cupcakes.”

His cheeks are flushed pink from the cool air outside, and the jacket he wears somehow hides his bulky frame, making him seem more cuddly than ever. Holding a smile on his face, Y/N races forward and wraps her arms around his neck.

She breathes in the scent of pine and aftershave, feeling warmth envelope her quickly. They sway side to side a bit before disconnecting.

“I thought you weren’t back for another week?”

“Press run ended early, I missed your baking. Thought i’d stop by for a cupcake but I forgot that you closed shop at ten, so I sprinted from Hathaway Street in under ten minutes.”

She giggles, pressing her face deeper into Harry’s jacket. Just moments after, she unravels herself from him and turns to the empty display case in front of her. Reaching behind the counter, she grabs the small box with the cute little bow on it ( it’s usually used for sending cakes to formal events), and opens it, pulling out a strawberry cupcake with cream cheese frosting.

She hands it to him and he eagerly takes it from her grasp, dipping his head forwards to take a mouthful of the creamy frosting. A small splotch of whipped cream cheese on the tip of his nose. He attempts to lick it off with his tongue, but ultimately Y/N just reaches out and swipes it off with her finger, giggling at his childlike nature.

“I forgot how good these were.” Harry moans, only a bite of the cupcake left merely a minute after she gave it to him. She begins to close up shop, locking the doors to the kitchen and turning off all of the kitchen lights.

When she walks back out to the counter, she realizes that two more cupcakes from the box are gone, and her heart warms when she sees him finishing a brown cupcake, his other hand scrolling through his phone.

“Ready to go?” She asks, and he nods as he throws the last bite of his cupcake into his mouth.

“I really like the peanut butter ones. Are they new?” Y/N nods and Harry licks at the tip of his fingers, tasting the faint flavor of the dessert he so quickly devoured.

“Hey.” He grabs her small wrist, pulling her towards him as she shuffles forward a but, “It’s cold outside. You’re gonna need this.”

He unwraps the scarf he had resting around his neck, and begins to bandage it around her small neck, her head seemingly drowning in the pool of fabric. Y/N’’s senses are flushed with the scent of his cologne and she takes a deeper whiff of the scarf before smiling, grabbing Harry’s hand, and guiding him out into the cold London air.

-

“It’s kind of messy, sorry.” Y/N guides Harry into her flat. It’s a bit cramped, her various band posters stuck to the walls with a rack of vinyls and a record player resting on the wall. It smells of the pine candle she’s had, but never lit.

“No, it’s.” He takes his coat off, shrugging off the thick layers before hanging it loosely on the coat rack behind them, “It reminds me of you. I like it.”

Harry admires the traces of her around her living room. The stand of cupcakes on the table, the little picture frames with family photos in them. He particularly loves the David Bowie posters on her wall, adorning the white walls behind the TV.

He turns to face her, leaning forward, he loves the abrupt speeding up of her breath, the little nervous gestures she gives when he leans in. She properly beautiful, he thinks, as his hands grip the sides of her jaw and he molds his lips against hers.

Their lips press against each others softly, molding against each other in a rhythm one they know. Harry tastes the faint cherry chapstick she’s put on and he deepens the kiss, pulling her even closer towards him so that his body is stark against hers.

He pulls her bottom lip into his mouth, sucking it into his lips as he nibbles at the soft skin. Y/N lets out a moan, a small one, but enough to make Harry’s pants a bit tight. He groans, one hand lifting off of her face and onto her lower back.

Harry doesn’t know how far she wants to go. He doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable, doesn’t want to drive her away when he likes her so much. She’s the first girl who’s enamored him this much, the only one who doesn’t seem to want him for his money or his name.

He’s shocked when her fingers slither their way under the thick material of his sweater, warm fingertips skimming across the skin of his back. She takes the hem of the sweater in his fingers, pulling it upwards as he pulls apart from her lips to completely take it off.

Y/N takes her time, eyes scanning across all of the detailed art on his chest. Se starts at the center of his chest, admiring the detailing on the wings of the butterfly and working his way down to the leaves on his hipbones. She snaps out of her trance, leaning forward to suck at the skin right below his collarbone (the parts of him that on’t be exposed in the cold winter weather), and elicits a moan from his swollen lips.

Before she takes it any further, she grabs at his hand and tugs him towards the couch. When he’s seated, hair messy and breath uneven as his legs are split apart to make the tint in his pants just a bit more comfortable, she makes her way to him, signaling what she wants to do. She sits patiently in front of him on the couch, knees bent under her as she politely looks up at him with big eyes.

He leans back onto the sofa, eyes close and hands gripping at the fabric of the couch. He finally opens his eyes a crack, cock throbbing against his boxers and the tough material of his dress pants.

“Can I-“ She licks at her lips, not knowing how to ask. Harry seems to understand, though, ass he nods feverishly and goes to unbutton his pants, hoping to relieve some of the tightness.

She stops him however, placing her hand over his and lifting it off of his pants. She grazes her fingertips over the clear bulge in his pants, feeling the warm skin pulse underneath her touch.

She quickly unbuttons his dress pants, sliding the zipper down quickly before tugging at the waistband of his pants, she feels Harry lift his hips up, and she pulls down his pants, along with his boxers, all at once.

He springs up, a wet dribble of precum dribbling down the tip of his cock. She sees the soft, pink head of his member, and immediately leans forward to take a lick at the skin.

Harry’s head is in a daze, his fingers pinching at his leg to make sure he’s not dreaming. He couldn’t believe his eyes, seeing the shy girl at the bakery that he’d been admiring from afar eagerly licking at the tip of his cock. When she gives another lick, tongue softly skimming over the tip of his cock, he throws his head back and curses loudly.

“Fuck, please.” He begs her. She rubs little circles into the skin of his thigh, leaning forward again to finally press the head of his cock inside of her mouth, and giving him a little suck in the process.

Harry’s eyes jerk open, meeting hers as she presses forward and spits a bit on the tip of his cock, hand moving to lubricate his shaft. She strokes tightly a few times, tugging as more precum pools on the head of him.

“Baby…” He moans out, and she acts on the pet name, licking at his head, before finally pushing her head down and taking him as far as she can.

His he'd hits the back of her throat, and instead of retracting, she presses it further down her jaw, eyes tearing up at the feeling. She does this a few times before pulling off of him and his hands are gripping her hair tightly, holding her in place. “Holy shit.” He breaths, and Y/N moans with him in her mouth. She loves how she can have him, one of the most powerful men in all of London, right in front of her, begging for her. He pushes her head down softly, cock throbbing in her hand.

She pushes her head down, running it up and down his cock repeatedly until she notices his breathing stopping, and then starting in an uneven pattern. His hands untangle from her hair, and his hand wraps around the part of his cock her mouth cant reach.

He strokes at the shaft, tip a purple-pink color as he strokes from the base of the shaft, right up to where her mouth sucks at the tip of him. She notices him moaning more than he has been, and takes it as her cue to pop off of him, opening her mouth and resting her tongue right under his tip.

He continues stroking, admiring the way she sits determines to finish him as he continues to pull himself closer to the edge.

“Fuck.” He moans. And he lays the head on her tongue, pressing it against the soft surface.

“Fuck! Y/N, fuck!” Thick spurts shoot out of his cock, and Y/N quickly replaces his hand with her own, stroking him complete as his cum pools at her lips. She finishes stroking him through, and then uses his remaining heavy breathing to encourage her to take him into her mouth and clean him up completely once more.

When she finishes, she stands up, legs a bit sore from the position she was sitting in, and goes to grab his sweater. Before she can, though, Harry leans forward on the couch and pocks his lips to hers, muttering a small “Thank you.” before reaching down for his pants.

After he’s dressed again, he has Y/N tucked into his chest and a comedy film turned on on the TV. He occasionally leans down his lips, pecking at the sot skin on her forehead and inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

And he thinks he’s found a woman, and one he’s completely, undeniably, enamored with.

[what2finish]

Creators & Bidders Information

If you do not find the answer to your question here, send an ask or email us as what2finish@gmail.com

____

Creators:

What counts as a WIPs?

The short answer is anything. It can be a work you’ve started or a prompt you thought was neat. It can be an idea of an alternative universe you want to work your fandom into. You can offer anything you wanted to try, but maybe have no concrete ideas for, as well (ie: a pairing you’re intrigued by, but have no WIP/HC for).

This event is to encourage you to make something you have wanted to do as a priority.

How many WIPs/prompts can I have?

There is no limit to how many WIPs and/or prompts you can list. We do ask that if you have a good chunk, around 5 or 6 longer ones, that you provide a link to a folder of them on your GDrive. You can always go into details or summaries of some of your favorites in the WIPs/prompt section of your creator post.

Can we include published WIPs as well - or is just stuff that hasn’t yet been shared for public consumption the only WIPs?

Sure can! Anything you want that little boost to help you cross a goal off your bucket list is welcomed!

Can I just have my bidders tell me what they want me to do?

Yes! You could just put your likes and dislikes/do not wants and ask potential bidders to contact you about their ideas or say you’re open to whatever bidders want (with exceptions of your DNWs).

Does the creator-winner relationship work like a commission?

No. You are under no obligation to give anything for credit anything to your winner, although we ask that you do notify your winner of the posting at least. However you want to work with your winner is up to you. If you would like to use this as a way to motivate you to finish something or as a way for someone else to decide what you work on next, and nothing else, that is up to you. As a kindness, we recommend putting your feelings of collabing/working in your winners like/etc. into your creator's notes.

What if I decide to add, drop, or change an auction?

If you decide to add or change anything in your auctions, please DM an admin or send us an email (what2finish@gmail.com). This also needs to be done if you change something on the Sign Up form. Just as long as you have contacted us to let us know if you’re redoing the form or doing a second add-on auction form, we will accept it.

If you do not contact us to tell us you are doing a redo form or doing an add-on form, your current information may not get updated.

If you wish to drop a second auction or drop out as a creator during the Sign up stage, please email us IMMEDIATELY. We understand that these are uncertain times. You do not need to give us a reason, you can simply write an email stating “I do not wish to have a second auction” or “I do not wish to be a creator anymore”.

What should I do for the starting bid?

We suggest starting your bid off low as it encourages bidders to bid.

Please feel free to do tiers for your bids. For example for fanfiction:

“If bidding reaches $20, I will write two of my smaller WIPs for the auction and at $30, two of my longer WIPs. If it goes pass $50, I’ll do two WIPs of bidder’s choice and one small fic that’s under 5k of the winner’s prompt.”

Also, consider your own commission prices or what others’ commission prices are. Your Art Path has a great section of advise for commission prices here.

Still uncertain of your starting bid? Talk to friends in your discord, tumblr, and/or fandom who participated as creators in other fandom charity auctions to ask if they can help you with your starting bid/bid increment. You can also check out Marvel Trumps Hate or Fandom Trumps Hate FAQs for their recommendations.  

Keep in mind, all of the winning bid will be going towards charity.

What should I put for my second auction if both will be for the same creation?

We recommend separating your auctions by fandoms so that your lesser known fandom has it’s own auction to shine in.

If you have multiple fandoms we want to work with, you might separate your auctions by more popular ships in one auction and less popular ships in another.

In reality, you don’t need to have two unique auctions.

What should I put in my “Creator Notes” section?

You can put your tiers here. You can put your limitations on how big or how many of your auction you will do. Be aware if you have something that states “For every $10 past $30 I will write 2k” and the final bid gets to $100, you have now promised at least 14,000 more words to what you initially offered.

What is the deadline for completing my winner(s) works?

The soft deadline for completed works is going to be December 1st, 2021. If you do not think you will be able to meet this deadline, please just keep us at WTF informed.

There is no hard rule for finishing. ‘Finished’ can just mean moving the ball down the court. If it’s another chapter or comic page, etc is up for bid, that’s fine. This event is to encourage you to work on things sitting in your WIP/prompt piles.

We recommend putting the information in your Creator Notes for your auction.

Can I bid as well as be a creator?

Yes! Please feel free to do both. We would love to have you bid to your heart’s (or wallet’s) desire. Join a podbid! Or Seven! Hype up other creators! Ask one of your favorite fandom creators if they’re interested in joining the fun too!

Where and how do I post my completed Auction work?

You can complete it however you prefer! You can post it on tumblr and link the @what2finish blog if it’s a shorter story. You can post on Ao3 in the collection WTF Philippines Relief 2020. If you are posting anywhere else that we ask that you make a tumblr post with a link to the story so we can reblog your story on our blog and mark your Auction work completed.

There are no posting rules to your completed work besides to tag for anything nsfw or possible triggers. You can post it all together or one chapter at a time. You can post multiple series, it’s all up to you.

____

Bidders:

Do I need to sign up to bid?

No. You will need a working email address so we can contact you if you win an auction. Just fill out the bid form during Auction week; November 22nd to November 28th, 11:59:00pm CST.

What name do I use for bidding?

You can use a fandom name or a nickname, whatever name you are comfortable with.

What is Preview Week?

Preview week is the week when all the creator posts will be upload and the Masterpost of creators will be released on the tumblr. It will give bidders the chance to browse all the auctions before Auction Week to find creators and auctions they want to bid on. This will also give last minute creator sign ups and the mods a chance to make sure everything is spick and span for Auction Week.

Can I contact creators before Auction Week?

Please do! Ask after their auctions! Ask about their WIPs or ideas! Ask about pairings! Clarify their wants and do not wants with them!

In fact, if you have a creator in mind for this charity event, ask them to consider joining!

The Auction ends when I’m unavailable, what do I do?

We understand that with the time difference all around that world, there are bound to be some who are in a time zone that doesn’t align nicely with Central Standard Time. In this case we suggest getting a proxy bidder to help you out. If you cannot find your own, you are more than welcomed to contact us (ask or email) and we will put out a call to our followers for someone who is willing to be a proxy for you.

When will I get my confirmation email I won?

The mod team will be working to get the winner’s emails out to them as soon as the auction ends. Please keep in mind that gmail only allows a certain number of emails to be send out at a time. This means the emails will be sent out in batches and depending on the auction, it might take a few days to get your winning confirmation email.

Please do not get in contact with the creator or donate until you get your confirmation email you have won the auction.

What do I do if I win an auction?

You will get an email within the next two to three days after the auction closes confirming your win and asking you to donate to one of the charities listed. As stated in the last answer above, please do not donate or contact your creator for the auction until after you have received your confirmation email and you have donated.

But, once your have gotten your confirmation email and you have donated, the mods will send an email with both you and your creator. From there, it will be up to you guys to figure out the auction win from there.

Can I donate more than my winning bid?

Yes! The more the merrier. There is no limit to the donations you can make. 

I would like to have the craft/artwork or be part of the creation process as the winner, can I?

That will be between you and the creator you won. If they do not specifically state they will give you their work, they are under no obligation to give it. If you are unsure of their stance, or it is not listed that they are looking to work with the bidder, please reach out to the creator to ask them. 

[hopeworldfan]

dress

summary: carve your name into my bedpost, ‘cause i don’t want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you could take it off.

pairing: jimin/reader

word count: 5k+

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff, angst, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers, college!au

warning: smut, mild assault, cunnilingus, jimin is a tease

a/n: YES a taylor swift song inspired this, NO i don’t want to hear any criticisms of my music choices

You knew you should have stopped drinking after your third shot of tequila. But it was a Saturday night and you had aced two of your exams that week, so you were celebrating! Plus, your girlfriends were hyping you up so who were you to say no?  

“Whoo!” You shouted, slamming the shot glass down on the bar as your girlfriends cheered. Yeah, you were drunk drunk.

“(y/n)!” Someone shouted, slurring just as much as you and you whipped your head around, squealing when you laid eyes on your best friend.

“Chimchim! When’d you get heeeeeere?” You slurred, wobbling over to him and collapsing into his arms, giggling.

“Dunno!” Jimin laughed, wrapping his arms around you and spinning around. You were both too drunk to remember that you literally arrived together since you lived together.

The two of you had been best friends since your freshman year of college. You sat next to him during that hellish 7:30 am lecture and bonded over wanting to literally die and laughing about how the teacher sounded like Forrest Gump. It wasn’t long before you went halfsies on a little two-bedroom one bath apartment and the rest was history.

“You look s’hot tonight!” You shouted into his ear, making sure he could hear you over the booming music. He always looked hot, but you weren’t going to say that no matter how drunk you were.

The thing was, you had a giant crush on your best friend. He was so sweet, funny, caring, and unbelievably hot. You accidentally walked in on him in the shower one time and couldn’t get the image out of your head for weeks. No man should look that good.

However, he was your best friend and that was something you cherished more.

“S’do you!” He shouted and you both giggled.

What you didn’t know what that he had a giant crush on you. He had since the 7:30 lecture, but you were oblivious to his advances and before he knew it you were calling him your best friend; and well, he cared about you so much he was just happy being by your side. Then the two of you were living together and that only made it stickier. Especially that one time he walked in on you masturbating and couldn’t look you in the eye for weeks without blushing.

“Lesh dance!” You shrieked, grabbing your friend’s toned arm and dragging him onto the dance floor. The two of you made absolute fools of yourselves, but it didn’t matter because you were only focused on each other.  

Later that night the two of you were stumbling back into your apartment, giggling and trying to hush each other at the same time.

“Oh god I’m drunk.” You groaned, turning to lock the door before breaking into another round of giggles. You were definitely a giggly drunk and Jimin thought it was adorable as fuck.

You started stumbling to the bathroom, trying desperately to pull the strappy top you were wearing over your head, but only succeeding in getting horrendously tangled in it.

“Jimiiiiiiiiiin.” You whined and your best friend came to the rescue, like always.

“You are r’diclus.” He slurred before laughing and fumbling with you top before getting it over your head.

“Thanks Chimchim.” You breathed before meeting his eyes. Both of you were suddenly aware that you were now very much shirtless, and the lacy bra you were wearing was more than a little provocative. Hey, you were already ready for the unknown.

Jimin swallowed hard. He was drunk, he knew he was drunk, but god you looked so fucking good. Your cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, your hair already a mess, and now you were standing in front of him in that lacy little bra that he wanted to rip off.

“Jimin?” You whispered, entranced by the intense look on his face. God, he was so fucking attractive. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the years of pining, but you suddenly wanted nothing more than him all over you.

It was a bad idea. You were best friends, that friendship was so important, but holy fuck. You were just the right amount of drunk to not care about whether it was a bad idea or not.

“Jimin,” You started, slightly out of breath. “Kiss me.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, eyes dilated from the alcohol.

“Yes.”

You didn’t have to ask twice before his mouth was on yours. His kiss was needy, begging, desperate and you moaned when he bit your bottom lip. He took the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. The bathroom counter harshly pressed against your back and you winced at the sharp pain. Jimin responded by reaching down, roughly grabbing your hips, and hiking you up so you were sitting on the counter.

You instinctively spread your legs and Jimin slid right between them, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs. Your arms were wrapped around his neck before sliding down his chest, tugging at his shirt. He chuckled against your mouth before pulling back and removing the fabric from his body. You ogled at his chiseled body, reaching forward to run your hands along his toned chest.

He flexed under your fingers and shivers raced up your spine. His mouth was on your neck in the next moment and the breathy moans slipped out before you could stop him. The last things you remembered was clinging onto his body as he walked the two of you into his bedroom.

The first thing you felt when you woke up was pure bliss. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so at peace. There was a surprising lack of a hangover considering how much you remembered drinking last night (and no doubt what you didn’t remember.) It wasn’t until an arm tightened around your waist that you felt the panic.

What the fuck.

More important. Who the fuck?

You usually weren’t one for drunken one-night stands, though it wasn’t completely unheard of. It was never so bad that you couldn’t even remember the person you slept with.

As carefully as you could, to not disturb the other person, you turned your neck, curious and a bit scared about just who you could see.  

It took everything in you not to make a sound when Jimin’s sleeping face was the one that greeted you.

What the fuck.

Holy fucking shit.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh no.

You had slept with Jimin.

And you knew it wasn’t a ‘we fell asleep cuddling’ because the both of you were very much naked and you could feel the soreness in your lower body. Fuck. Had the two of you really been that drunk?

The idea hit you like a lightning bolt. If you hadn’t woken up with Jimin, you might not have remembered that the two of you even slept together. Maybe Jimin wouldn’t remember. Or maybe he would just think it was one of those awkward dreams where you had sex with your friend.

As carefully as you possibly could, you slid out of his grip, praying to every god in existence that he wouldn’t wake up. Your legs almost gave out on you when you got to your feet. Jesus Christ, you ached. Jimin hadn’t been gentle apparently.  

You quietly grabbed your clothes off his floor, eyes widening when you saw your ripped panties. Huh.

Confident that you left no traces behind, you gently padded to your room, only relaxing when your door was closed.

Fuck, you thought the whole ‘getting drunk and sleeping with your best friend’ only happened in movies. Sure, you’d been fantasizing about your best friend for months, but you never would have acted on it.  

You happened to glance in the mirror before pulling on a big t-shirt and you instinctively clenched your legs together when you noticed the bruises in the shape of fingers on your waist, the hickeys trailing along your collarbone, the sex hair you had, jesus, it was the worst you had ever had.

Flashes from the night before popped into your head, Jimin leaning over you, a sheen of sweat covering his body, his hair sticking to his head. Jimin between your legs. Jimin a moaning mess as you rode him.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

You made sure your door was locked before crawling into your bed and digging through your nightstand until you found your handy dandy vibrator.  

Jimin woke up with a smile on his face, not something that usually happened. It faltered when he realized you weren’t in bed with him anymore. When had you gotten out of bed?

Maybe you were just using the bathroom.

He sighed before using his arms to prop his head up and smiling as memories from the night before played through his head. Jimin was a lot better at holding his liquor than you were so he had sobered up rather quickly. He was glad. It gave him the ability to truly appreciate your body, to give you what you deserved.

And jesus, you were even better than he ever imagined. None of his fantasies did you justice.

When the minutes ticked by and you didn’t join him in bed, he decided to see what was up. He slid on a pair of grey sweatpants just for decency before looking for you. He grinned when he saw you in the kitchen, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a big t-shirt with your hair in a messy bun, standing in front of the stove with a spatula in your hand.

God, if he could wake up to that every morning, he would be the happiest man in the world.

“Good morning.” He whispered from behind as he started to slide his hands around your waist.

You jumped about a foot in the air when you felt his breath on your ear and his arms wrapping around your waist.

“What’s wrong?” He asked when you whipped around, dancing out of his grip.

“Nothing!” You squeaked, willing your blush to go away and trying your best to keep your eyes from wandering to his bare chest. “You just scared me is all.”

“Last night was amazing.” Jimin smiled and you froze. Did he remember? Or was he referring to the partying aspect? You didn���t want to look like an idiot if he was talking about the partying. Best to just play dumb, nothing could go wrong there.

“Was it?” You laughed, turning back to work on the eggs you were making. “I don’t remember anything after I took my third shot of tequila.”

You were lying. It was a lie. You remembered almost all of it, some things were still fuzzy, but you didn’t want to ruin your friendship with Jimin, and you were scared that’s what would happen if both of you remembered last night. What you had was good, it was great. There was no need to complicate it.

“Oh,” Jimin replied, taking a step back.

You didn’t remember? You didn’t remember that the two of you had literal hours of mind-blowing sex? You didn’t remember the hushed ‘i love you’ he had said like a prayer? You didn’t remember the ‘i love you too’ you chanted?

“Yeah,” he started with a forced laugh. “I don’t remember anything after the club either.”

Things were awkward between the two of you, and you hated it. You tried so hard to pretend everything was normal, but every time you looked at him your mind would flash back to that night. You couldn’t even look at your best friend without getting horny as fuck, which made doing stuff with him extremely difficult.

Jimin wasn’t faring any better. Any time you bent down in front of him, every time you walked around the apartment without a bra and he saw the outline of your nipples, every time you did anything all he wanted to do was fuck you into oblivion.

But it was more than sex obviously. He was so in love with you. He wanted to be able to hold you, to kiss you, to just touch you, not even in a sexual way. He wanted to absentmindedly drag his fingers across your skin, to lay with you wrapped in his arms, to wake up in the morning and you be the first thing he saw.  

It was torture to have to pretend everything was normal between the two of you.

“You did what?” Your closest friend (only second to Jimin), Rose screeched when you confessed the messy situation you were in.

“Oh my god be quiet.” You pleaded, burying your face in your hands.

“Oh my god, I can not believe you. You and Jimin finally fuck and you pretend that you don’t remember any of it?”

“I didn’t know what else to do! I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” You defended.

Rose scoffed. “(y/n), you have been in love with that boy for god knows how long and I wasn’t going to say anything, but it’s so obvious that he’s in love with you too, the both of you are just fucking idiots.”

“You’re being ridiculous, he’s not in love with me.”  

You friend just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Puh-lease. Ask literally anyone who’s seen the two of you together. The reason you don’t get hit on at parties is because everyone thinks you guys are already dating.”

You did always wonder why no one ever hit on you. It was a little damaging to your ego.

“So what if we look like a couple, that doesn’t mean he’s in love with me.” You pointed out.

“He is. You should see the way he looks at you, it’s honestly gross. I would bet everything I own on it.” Before you had time to really think about your friends’ words, she changed the subject. “But more importantly, how good was the sex.”

You groaned. “It was so good.”

“I always knew Jimin would be good in bed, that cute face is a disguise. Also, both of you have to come to my birthday party on Saturday.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

You were going to change. You looked ridiculous. You couldn’t believe you let Rose talk you into buying the little strip of fabric that called itself a dress.

It barely covered your ass! And it was so tight it left nothing to the imagination. She said there was no way Jimin would be able to keep his hands off of you. Why were you even trying to seduce him? That went against everything you were trying to do.

You were going to change.

Before you could pull the garment over your head there was a knock on your door. “We’re gonna be late (y/n).”

Fuck.

With a big sigh, you opened the door, not meeting Jimin’s eyes.

He was glad you weren’t looking at his face because he couldn’t control the way his eyes widened, and his mouth literally dropped open the slightest bit.

Holy fuck. You looked so fucking sexy it should have been illegal. He wanted nothing more than to rip that skimpy black dress right off and ravage you. He had to use every ounce of self-control in him to not pop a boner.

It was going to be a long night.

Usually, when the two of you went out, you rarely separated from each other. You were linked together the whole time. Tonight though, Jimin was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s your lover boy?” Rose asked loudly, giggling as she sipped on the margarita in her hand. “You look hot as fuck! Do you wanna sleep with me tonight? Because I totally would.”

“You are entirely too drunk.” You laughed, grabbing the drink from her hand.

She pouted before whining. “C’mon (y/n), it’s my birthday, lemme get smashed.”

“You’re ridiculous.” You sighed before handing the drink back to her.

“You need to drink! You’ve only had like one drink in the past hour!”  

You sighed before glancing around, looking for any sign of your friends but not having any luck. “Just not feeling like it tonight Rose, besides, it looks like someone’s gonna need to take care of you tonight.”

“I’m grown! I can take care of myself, go have fun!” Your friend shouted before joining a group of girls and leaving you alone at the bar.

Great. You were a loser sitting alone at a bar in a way too tight dress.

“Hi, can I buy you a drink?” A deep voice said from beside you and you whipped your head around, an attractive guy standing at your side, a charming smile on his face.

He was cute.

“Ah sorry, I’m with-” You trailed off as your eyes surfed through the crowd, looking for Jimin. Finally, you spotted him…dancing with another girl. Not just innocent dancing, no, his hands were gripping her hips tight and she was grinding on him like a maniac. They were basically having sex on the dancefloor.

Oh.

Ouch.

“I’d love it if you bought me a drink.” You smiled at the guy and his grin widened.

“Great, I’m Jason.”

“(y/n).” You replied before standing. “Do you wanna dance.”

His eyes raked up your body and it made you feel slimy. He was looking at you like you were a piece of meat. Maybe that’s what you needed though. To get over your stupid crush, to salvage your relationship with your best friend.

You couldn’t keep fantasizing about him every night, that wasn’t a healthy friendship.

Jason took your hand and lead you onto the dance floor. You cringed when you ended up in the same vicinity of Jimin and the girl. It was fine, you were fine. You were going to forget about your best friend and how good he looked with his hair stuck to his forehead.

The guy immediately pulled you close, molding your body against his. You closed your eyes and just let your body move, trying to banish the memories with Jimin, the feeling of his body against yours. You needed to move on.

Jason’s hands slipped lower and lower until he was practically grabbing your ass. It was fine, you were fine.

“You’re so fucking fine.” He growled into your ear and you help back the eyeroll. You gasped when he roughly grabbed you, turning you around to face him and smashing his mouth against yours.

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. This wasn’t. You didn’t like this. You tried to pull away but had such a strong grip on your face you really couldn’t. What the fuck.

You started hitting his arm, struggling to get out of his grip, but he wouldn’t fucking let go. He roughly bit your lip and your involuntarily opened your mouth, giving him the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth.

You didn’t want this.  

…

Jimin had to get away from you. He could not stop staring. That little black dress shouldn’t have affected him so much, but it did. He felt guilty leaving you alone, but it was for his own sanity.

He had to get his mind off of you, and the blonde girl was all too willing to help. He tried really hard to get into it. She was attractive and eager, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

And then there you were, directly in his line of sight, dancing with another guy. Jealousy coursed through him. He wanted that to be him. His hands on your waist, your body pressed against his.  

Fuck.

He peeled his eyes off of you, trying to concentrate on the girl grinding on him, but his eyes kept finding their way back to you.

God, the guy literally had his hands on your ass. Jimin knew he was only causing pain for himself by watching the interaction. You looked like you were having a good time. It made him sick.

But then the guy roughly twisted you around and he saw the confused look on your face before the guy roughly pressed his lips against yours. He moved his hands to grip your head and Jimin immediately noticed when you began to struggle against his grip.

He was across the dance floor in seconds.

You were still struggling against Jason’s grip when he was roughly pulled off of you, causing you to stumble back before regaining your balance.

“What the fuck?!” He shouted angrily and your eyes teared up when you saw Jimin standing in front of you, muscles tensed as he faced off with the much larger guy.

“Leave her alone.” Your best friend commanded.

“Who the fuck even are you, her boyfriend or something?”

Jimin paused. “No, I’m her best friend.”

“That’s great dude, but we were having a good time and fucking look at her. She’s obviously looking to get fucked in that little getup. Are you mad that she’s not fucking you?” Jason laughed and you could only watch in horror when Jimin lunged at the guy.

“Jimin!” You screeched as both boys hit the ground. A crowd began to form around the two as punches were exchanged. “Jimin stop!”

In a matter of seconds, security was pulling them apart and dragging them out of the club. You trailed behind, eyes wide as tears streamed down your face.

“Get out of here!” One of the guards shouted before shutting the door.

“Oh my god Jimin.” You cried, grabbing your best friend by his shoulders so he was forced to face you.

“Fuck this, you’re not worth it.” You vaguely heard Jason mutter before walking off.

“What were you thinking?” You asked, gently running a hand across the cut on his cheek. Jimin didn’t answer, still breathing heavy from the fight.

Adrenaline was still pulsing through his veins and he gently cupped your face, brushing away your tears. Gently, ever so gently, he brought his face down to press his lips to yours. It was so sweet and loving, and it made your heart melt.

But this was wrong. He wasn’t thinking straight, had probably been drinking, was high on the adrenaline, so you stepped away.

“C’mon Chimchim, let’s get you home.” You said softly, putting his arm around your shoulders so you could support his weight. He didn’t say anything, just let him guide you back to your apartment.

You had forced him to sit on the edge of the bathtub so you could bandage up his face, but neither of you was saying anything. You were still in your dress, more concerned about getting your best friend patched up. It wasn’t bad, a few scratches, the cut on his face, and he’d probably be pretty bruised in the morning.

“God, what were you thinking Jimin? You’re not a fighter.” You asked with a sigh before leaning back to inspect your work. He was staring at your face and you fought the blush that wanted to spread across your face.

“I love you.” He said simply.

You froze.

Um.

What?

“I love you too Chimchim.” You laughed nervously, turning your back to him to wash your hands.

“No,” He said firmly, getting to his feet to stand behind you. “Not like that, not platonically. I am in love with you.”

You looked up into the mirror, seeing the seriousness on his face in the reflection. Your heart was in your throat.

“Stop.” You begged, closing your eyes.

“Why?” And you heard the pain in his voice.

“Because you’re my best friend in the whole world Jimin. What if something goes wrong? What if we’re not compatible as a couple? What if we break up and our relationship is ruined? If this is ruined?”

“Look at me.” He pleaded and you looked up at his reflection. “No, look at me.”

You sighed before turning around, tilting your chin to meet his eyes.

“I have been in love with you since the first week of that 7:30 lecture. I get butterflies any time I see you smile. When you laugh, I swear it’s like music to my ears. When I picture what I want my future to be like, you’re always the one by my side. I think you are the most amazing, smart, talented, beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’m not worried about the future, about the what if’s because I know I will always love you.” Tears were streaming down your face by the end of his speech. You had no idea he felt that way.

“I’m in love with you too.” You managed to say and Jimin gently grabbed your face before bringing his lips down to yours.  

It felt different than the ones before. Because no one was drunk, and no one had an adrenaline high and he loved you and you loved him and for the first time, you didn’t feel worried about the future.

You gasped when Jimin’s hands slid down your body and he picked you up to sit you on the counter.

“This feels awfully familiar.” You laughed and Jimin pulled back with a smirk.

“I knew there was no way you didn’t remember that night. I fucked you way too good for you to forget.”

“Jimin, I literally had bruises on my hips from your hands, I had to try so hard to not let you see that I was walking funny the next day. I’ve been masturbating every night, imagining it was your hard cock slamming into me.”

Jimin growled before smashing his lips against yours. This kiss was hungrier, more passionate, and you moaned when one of his hands cupped your breast.

“Jimin,” you panted. “Take me to the bedroom.”

You squealed when he complied immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his waist. History was literally repeating itself.

He dropped you onto his bed and you grinned up at him.

“As hot as you look in that dress, you’ll look even hotter without it.” He breathed and excitement coursed through you.

“You know, I only bought this dress so you could take it off.” You informed and he smirked, reaching forward to help you pull it over your head.

You gasped when he grabbed your legs and pulled you to the edge of the bed. The look on his face could only be described as devilish as he grabbed the edges of your panties and yanked them off in one fluid motion.

“Glad you didn’t rip them this time.” You teased.

“We’ll see how long you can keep up that cheeky attitude.”  There was a comeback already on your lips, but it went right out the window when Jimin buried his face between your legs.

“Oh fuck Jimin.” You moaned, arching your back as he sucked on your clit. He roughly grabbed your waist and pressed down, effectively pinning you to the bed, stopping your wiggling. You reached down and grabbed a fist full of his golden locks, pressing him even closer against your core. You swore you could feel him smiling.

“Oh shit, of fuck Jimin I’m gonna cum.” You panted, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach. In the moments right before you were pushed over the edge, Jimin pulled back.

You whined immediately, bucking your hips at the loss of contact. You reached down to finish the job yourself, but Jimin grabbed your wrist before you could.

“Nu uh, not yet.” He clucked.

“Jimin please.” You begged, aching from having been so close to release yet denied it. You watched in agony as he slowly licked his lips, getting all the excess juices from your pussy.

“You taste so good (y/n), so wet, so eager. What a naughty girl.” He purred, letting go of your wrist to slip his clothes off.

“Fuck me Jimin, I need you to fuck me.” He chuckled, running his hands along your legs. Your eyes were on his cock, already rock hard.  

“Is this what you want?” He asked, grabbing his cock and rubbing it against your slit. “You want me to fuck you with this cock?”

“Yes. Oh my god please.”

“Say it.” He slapped his cock right on your clit and you whimpered. “Look at me and say it.”

Your eyes shot open and you made eye contact with Jimin.  

He had never seen a sight so enticing. Your pupils were blown out with lust, your lips swollen, legs spread wide open, whining, whimpering for him. Moaning his name, aching for him.

“Please Jimin, please fuck me with your cock.” He couldn’t keep the coy act up anymore, not when you sounded so desperate for him. You cried out when he plunged into you, your walls expanding to accommodate his size.  

“Oh fuck, you’re so tight (y/n).” He groaned, refusing to move until you gave him the okay.  

“Fuck me Jimin.” You breathed and he wasted no time in pulling all the way back out and snapping his hips forward. The sight of Jimin lording over you as he fucked you into the mattress was the hottest thing you had ever seen. He leaned forward to press a messy kiss against your lips and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, clawing at his back.

You couldn’t believe you had been denying yourself this the whole time. Absolutely ridiculous.

“Do you like the way I fuck you (y/n)?” Jimin panted as he thrust into you.

“Yes, yes, yes fuck yes,” You mewled, arching your back and throwing your head back.

It didn’t take long for you to feel your orgasm approaching. You had been so close before and Jimin was fucking you better than you had ever been fucked.

“Are you going to cum for me (y/n)? Huh? Are you going to cum all over my hard cock?” The fact that Jimin was so into dirty talk only turned you on even more.

“Yes, oh fuck yes!”

His pace increased, going even harder and faster. He had wanted to tease you more, to make you beg, but seeing you come undone under him was more enticing.

“Cum for me baby,” he commanded, reaching down to rub your clit. That’s what sent you over the edge, waves of pleasure crashing over you.

“Jimin, oh god, oh fuck, holy shit,” You babbled between moans as he continued pounding into you, making sure you received every bit of pleasure from your orgasm.  

“Oh fuck.” He breathed before burying himself into you and dropping his forehead to press against yours as his own orgasm washed over him. You cupped his face and pressed your lips against his, feeling him smile against your lips.

“I love you.” You said softly.

“I love you too.” He replied before pressing a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.

“You literally have a black eye. I can’t believe you fought that guy.” You sighed, pressing a pack of frozen peas against Jimin’s angry looking eye.

“He was an asshole.” He grumbled and you giggled.

“That’s true, but since when do you fight assholes? You’re not a fighter.”

“He was messing with my girl.”

Your heart fluttered. “Your girl huh?”

Jimin’s cheeks went red and you couldn’t help but laugh at how cute he was. “Well, you are my girl…right?”

You reached over and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Yes, I’m your girl.”

[sly-merlin]

KILLING ME -11 |N.Y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : cursing, explanatory mention of a pistol!

words :: ~5k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

or              

“  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: @kpop-choco​ @moon-yuta​ @kawaiiayasan​ @btm-taeyong​ @exfolitae​ @lanadreamie​ @cheersskznct​ @hyuckiesgf​ @theworld-accordingtocasey​  @yiyi4657​ @sorrywonwoo​ @sillywinnergladiator​ @suhweo @minejungwoo​ @leesalts​  @mal-nakamoto23​ @ro2424​ @itlittlefangirl​​ @nctzens-world​​ @bl--ankhaeji​​ @simplybree​​

 networks :: @kafenetwork​ @neowritingsnet​  @nct-writers​

K.M masterlist

K.M 10     next

a/n :: header was made with detailed instructions from lovely @cirrus-lily​ (thank you so much for your patience).

Previous night , taeyong’s office.

The thick, heavy unnatural silence was breached by the phone call. Taeil’s muffled words didn’t reach anyone’s ears but taeyong’s reaction was enough for an estimate!

“what did taeil say?”

Taeyong glanced at yuta’s hopeful yet helpless face. Taeil's order was far from what yuta's eyes sought. The past ten minutes were spent listening to the unsynchronized ticking of the clocks and some random whispering of the younger ones from the living room. And now, several pairs of eyes were asking for the answers.

“you will be stationed in nice, f-for two months.”

Yuta’s face hardened at his words. He gulped and opened his mouth to say something but stopped. The words stuck on his tongue would not be able to convey what he wanted to, he thought.

“with johnny?" Jaehyun uttered.

“no yuta is replacing him" taeyong mumbled, hiding his face in his hands.

Yuta snickered , “ as expected.” as much as he didnt want to sound bitter, his senses were not cooperating with him too much.

“this is not about you or johnny. It’s better if you both stay away fr-

“did taeil tell her the truth?” yuta coldly cut him off.

“i don't know about that!"

“then I'll have to do it myself." Yuta stood up, alerting everyone.

“do not stretch this yuta. This can end right here. Your absence woul-

“you got it wrong taeyong!” yuta cackled , “I'm dying to leave this place but don't you think she deserves to know that she's wrong here.”

“please yuta. For last time. trust taeil. this is the last thing I’m asking from you. You’d get the chance to explain. Ju-just not yet.” Yuta scowled at taeyong’s hollow pleading.

He inched forward slamming his palms on the table , “ since when did you start playing with wrong players taeyong? you are supposed to be the smarter one here. Who are you fooling here? you think I don’t know why she’s here or jaemin, jeno, jungwoo, chenle, jisung, mark, they don’t have a hint?” taeyong eyes danced around the room avoiding any contact as yuta continued, “Don't stretch this taeyong. this can end right here. without hurting another one and right before they can get attached. I hope when i come back , you would have sorted this mess out or you won’t have time to regret this time”

Scoffing at taeyong’s hunched figure, he smacked the table once before leaving the room.

Doyoung  followed soon , leaving Jaehyun and Taeyong alone.

Panic engulfed jaehyun’s entire being as he pondered over yuta’s words.

“he’s right. You saw her today. She’s getting worked up over a stupid misunderstanding and you saw the way taeil is acting! This was never the plan. She’s not timid. You cannot possibly make her agree to anything at all. Taeil would never let that happen. Heck! Yuta’s getting weirder these days. Let her go. We can wait unt-

“We. Can’t .wait. I know my limits, Jaehyun and two months are enough..” Taeyong whisper yelled “ I care about her more than you’d ever do so get the fuck out of here. You don't get to tell me what I should be doing.”

Jaehyun leered at the older man, muscles in his jaw twitching at his words  “you have lost it taeyong. if we fail this time, you’d be the one to blame.”

Perfectly ironed shirts were wrinkled as yuta threw them into the case. doyoung was ready to accompany but he refused all the assistance proposed to him. He left nothing. from t-shirts and pants to jumpers, he packed as if he was going for a one way trip to france.

He groaned , jumping on the suitcase, trying to bury the clothes deeper into the case so he could zip it. Once finished,he pushed the cases out of the room and into the hall. locking the door, his running and hurried eyes fell on the opposite room. It was bare of any presence. This was his first time peeking into your room. He was merely looking from afar but the very next second he found himself going through the album resting on the bed covers. a perfect normal photo album was calming enough to subside his inner turmoil.  

yuta scrunched his nose at the small girl who was either frowning or crying in most of the pictures. the family of three looked quite happy. But the girl didn't seem to resemble any of the adults. He almost let out a laugh at your wailing form in every other photo. Just looking at the pictures, anyone with two eyes could tell that you were a spoiled kid. No wonder you were full of attitude and ego, he thought.

closing it, he glanced at the room, simple and plain. Not that his own wasn’t but he couldn’t find anything that had prompted you to lock your door for the whole day. He left the room to lock his own but when he pocketed his keys, they met with something at the end of his pants pocket.

A grunt left his throat at the sight of the screws. He had placed them in his pocket to follow your fuming body, the reason of which he didn’t know back then. He was about to throw them on the bed when the album caught his eyes again. He cursed at himself for being so indecisive. Pacing back and forth , he noticed how composed he had suddenly become. He wasn’t feeling anger, just some traces of irritation for the whole drama that had unfolded.

Before he could convince himself otherwise, he took a paper from your desk, scribbled with a trembling hand and left it on the counter.

All while hoping taeil was actually being reasonable , just this once.

12:30 p.m

Looking through the power window, you stared at taeil’s arriving form, hands full with brown food bags. He hit the car door with his one knee prompting you to open the door from inside.

“when I say you are no better than others ,I really mean you are NO better than them!” taeil chortled as he shoved a bag into your lap.

“what did I do this time?” you rolled your eyes as you anticipated another moral lecture from him.

“nothing. you are making an old man to get food for you!”

“and I had suggested the said old man to enter the drive thru!”

“and drive thru is no fun, duh! The vintage the better!”

“just like someone I know! you exclaimed chewing the burger.

“very funny. You know highway stops are all about breathing in fresh air while stretching your arms, yawning so widely that you have to hide your face in your stretched arm to save yourself from the embarrassment. The first step out of the car after hours of driving feels like restoration of something that was denied to you for such a long time. and the second phase of happiness comes at the engine purring, the feeling is like no other, I’m telling you. but someone lost their chance to experience it .”

“you sound poetic taeil but you lack facts. The fresh air you just inhaled is what we consider a polluted one.I’ll prefer to sit inside and miss all that instead of going out and dying. So let go of the  fancy peace thoughts and develop your perceptions according to the changing world. The sound of this vintage engine is a source of headache and not happiness.Now lemme eat. IN PEACE”

“we’ll see whose perception changes” taeil mumbled munching on the fries.

You both ate in silence for 20 minutes. As the drive continued ,the stilled milieu took you back to the uncertainties you were trying so hard to suppress. When taeil had knocked at the door in the morning, which was beyond expectation at first, he gave you the liberty to question his actions but you had passed that opportunity, precisely to show that you weren’t that greedy. But you were! The endless queries were now making you anxious. Why did taeil come with you? what was the reason behind his pleasant behaviour, how could yuta agree to go like that? sure he liked your presence not more than you did but was he the kind to bow down so easily! Or was he designing something under the colour of acceptance. taken together ,you ended up being the ruthless one here. But the leading one was why did yesterday happen! Multiple stolen glances at Taeil were fairly noticeable; you were waiting for him to just start something. And he perhaps was waiting for you to initiate. Dilemma remained unsolved and you arrived in seoul just like you had left it, but visiting your parents had lessened the encumbrances weighing you down.

You were about to retreat after thanking him when he finally spoke up,

“b.n at 6! No exemption. And instead of racking your brain, just ask. it’s simpler than you make it to be y/n.”

Slamming the door shut , you dragged your feet for the apartment, shaking your head at the man.

Of course he knows everything! And maybe could ask him someday to get your own answers.

10 days later

The gun went off with a bang which if it hadn’t been for the ear protectors and the noiseless sheets, would have deafen your ears. Fingers pointed at the target, eyes coloured with impatience, jungwoo didn’t move. After he was done with his dramatic action, the glass shield slid and he entered inside.

“this is target A. this one is B” he asked for a confirmation with his wide eyes which you nodded at.

“right. so!” he walked circling the dry grass to stand between two targets, “so when I say hit at A, you should be firing at A, precisely aiming anywhere in this space.” he explained again, hand moving in front of the said space.

“I hit at the center jungwoo! The fucking center! For the first time in two weeks.”

“yes. You did hit the core but of the wrong target.”

“how does it matter? It's a perfect shoot”

Jungwoo blinked multiple times focusing on your puzzled face. He wasn’t sure if you were purposely trying to annoy him or you seriously lacked a few braincells to understand where you were wrong!

“at the wrong target.” he pressed.

“but I still hit-

“Ok. listen to me carefully now. Lets assume A is taeil hyung and B is a killer. If i shout to you that kill B and you mistakenly shoot A instead then you’d end up killing taeil hyung instead of the killer and then you’d be a killer yourself and even if the shot was perfect it was targeted wrongly thats why when i say hit A, hit A and when i say B, hit B. understood now?” dumbfounded, you stared at him bobbing your head a few times to indicate you understood. But you really hadn’t.

“You are not lying right?”

“Dont accuse me of lying!”

“Oh! So you still don-

“hey beautiful!”

Your heads jerked towards the owner of the voice who had just interrupted the bickering.

“johnny” you whispered.

“I meant jungwoo y/n.” jungwoo sticked his tongue out at you as he jumped forward to hug johnny.

“When did you come back?”

“just now. I flew directly to Japan from nice. didn’t he inform you all? And why is nobody at home?”

a small smile graced your face while jungwoo started explaining to him about some business event. You felt like jungwoo won’t shut up anytime soon so you turned around from the scene and made yourself busy with the magazine. As you were counting the rubber bullets to fill the magazine, a pair of arms touched your both shoulders.

“wh-

“how are you y/n.”

“you done talking to your prince.”

Jungwoo groaned approaching you with a stern look.

“you’ll have plenty of time to chatter. Focus on your job instead!”

“ugh. You are so annoying. I’m done for the day.” You announced handing the pistol to him.

“wait! what am I missing here.” Johnny's eyes shifted , not knowing what was going on in his absence.

“yuta hyu-

“I know all that. I’m asking about the bullets!”

“Taeil told me to learn some basics to defend myself and jungwoo is my assigned teacher who don’t seem to appreciate my skills at all”

“liar!” Jungwoo screeched and continued, “she’s poor at shooting, hits anywhere but the point I’m indicating at an-and she never listens to me.”

Snorting dramatically at the end, he glares at you. you welcomed his complaining speech with a toothy grin which seemed to annoy him more. One thing you had learnt in the past two weeks had been that jungwoo was frustrating when he was hungry and during the time he was supposed to teach you, no food was allowed in the basement, making him a hunger monster.. Johnny watched the exchange with an amused smile, just like you were doing a few minutes ago.

“alright. You both need to chill. Jungwoo, she's not a professional so go easy on her and you! you should listen to him. or if you want I can be your tutor instead!”

“don’t hijack here. she's my student and I was chosen because I am the softest and the sweeter one her-

“who is a second away from having a breakdown!”

“no go out. You are not invited anymore. nobody is allowed here from 6 to 7:30 .” Jungwoo announced as he started pushing Johnny out the door.

‘”yaa! Jungwoo. I’m go- don’t push me you rascal. I am going. Bye y/n. I’ll be waiting upstairs.” He shouted and waved in the air which you, for no reason, found yourself returning even if he wasn't going to see it.

As johnny was gone, jungwoo pressed the switch again to close the partition. Coming behind you, his arms embraced you and he placed the gun in your hand as he ducked himself to reach your height with another try to improve the hand-eye coordination. Occupied with each other, you both missed the pair of eyes watching you both  in a very unpleasant manner.  

“how’s your research going?” johnny asked with a mouthful of meatballs.

“it’s meh! The library is under construction so I can't properly look through books and besides minjun is too whiny to let me do anything. I can’t leave that kid alone so we're always hanging out after 1. I’ve some resources saved so I’m fine for now” you replied.

“seems like that minjun guy makes you very happy. Is he the one?” jaehyun took your attention as he pinched his neck. You narrowed your eyes at his unnecessary remark.

“my happy pill is not minjun but you jaehyun dear. I haven’t seen you in like 5 days i guess? So that eliminated all the reasons for my unhappiness. Your absence is my elixir jae. ” You grinned. Jaheyun pointed his chopstick at you but before he could utter anything, taeyong spoke up.

“woah. Don’t you two start now.” he cried.

“he’s the one that starts everything! I just continue his shit for it-

“well I won't initiate if its not for that stinky tongue o-

“Shut up before I lock both of you in a room.”

Hearing several snickers, it seemed like taeyong was the only one getting annoyed, everyone else seemed to be enjoying it.

Just when you were about to pour more juice, everything else finished and left the table. it seemed strange as how fast they were done with their dinner.

“how can you all eat so quickly?” doyoung seemed to be more perplexed as he asked taeyong.

“don’t you both know?” you settled your chopsticks on the plate as taeyong proceeded, “the last two to finish cleans the dishes.”

You instantly scanned the whole dining table and the instant regret of eating like a sloth washed over your face. There were only three left and next second there were only two. Jungwoo shot up from seat with his stuffed mouth, waved and left. Taeyong didn’t waste any time before he also scurried away.

“this was a conspiracy y/n.” doyoung murmured.

“I know right. they knew it. w-we have to wash for 14 people.”

“look at the brighter side, we don’t have to hurry now.”

You shrugged at his words, filling your glass with juice again.

“you should not be drinking juice at nighttime.” He lectured

“then why is it on the table?”

“aish! You are impossible.”

“so are you.”

You continued bickering with doyoung until both of you were finished. Like everyone else, you too had started to find joy while annoying doyoung. The responses from him were always a treat. He was also awfully similar to you. the nit-picking in almost everything, forever sceptical body language and lastly the  identical frown you both wore all the time. but you were not the one that detected the similarities, it was doyoung himself.

It was not just doyoung! With exception of jaehyun, it seemed like everyone was trying to make you a part of their daily lives. The day after the incident, you had hesitated to knock the door, scared of their reactions towards you but the dark cloud of worry had floated away with the warmest hug jungwoo had welcomed you with. You detected no rejection, no unpleasant remarks, instead you were strictly instructed to not to leave the premises without having dinner. And that one day became two and two a routine. You were confused as you were the reason someone dear to them was somewhere he wasn't meant to be at the moment and yet they treated you like you were their own! For first few days you were at edge, the affection not digestible. Feeding your suspicions , you tried to choke something out of mark who was also your designated driver but all he unveiled was his endless jokes and contagious giggles weaved with the various stories. Each day he recited a new one, sowing the seeds of intimacy with his family which, you couldn’t deny, were sprouting into something unprecedented. However vague it was, you liked it. You liked this unsought acceptance, being included like a family, taking you back in the time. But you never had the luxury of an easy life. Was this worth trusting? Were you ready to return their affection by placing them on the pedestal as same as jungkook and yugyeom. But this house wasn no more reeking of any resentment and you were more than fine with that for now.

"Stack the glasses, I'll pick up the plates"

"This is so tiring" you complained while scraping the sauce on the plates.

"You'll get used to it." Doyoung deadpanned.

"Tell me why i agreed to this!"

"You know the rules. And don’t you remember because of you, I washed for 20 people that day! You deserve the suffering woman!”

You chuckled at the memory. A few days ago, You, doyoung and hyuck were the last ones remaining.  And you had won the rock paper scissors. Though the last two were the supposed cleaners, hyuck had ditched the poor boy, leaving him with extra load.

"You carry some heavy dark clouds on your head man. I don't know how you manage to end up with dirty utensils!every fucking single time" Doyoung glared at your remark and you both continued washing and wiping the dishes side by side.

"Where are the spoons?"

"On the table. Wait , I'll be back in 2 minutes!"

Carrying the cutlery you made your way back to the kitchen but chanting of a familiar name froze you in your steps.

"He's acting like a child johnny! Had he called you after you left?" It was taeyong speaking in a hushed manner, but he was not doing a very good job in whispering.

"Nope. He just took names and contacts of all the whistleblowers and that's it. But i can’t understand the need for that taeyong! I had everything in control. What do you wanna achieve with your stupidity!”

"Jaemin, hyuck and jisung are in constant contact  with him but only to receive the codes he's sending. He's just unreachable and I'm not just talking about his cell network johnny. I'm losing him. He- taeil thought it’s for the best. They won’t see each others face for sometime an-

“And everything would be fine? Right? Sounds very legit. Goodluck with daydreaming princess.”

Hearing some shuffling, you trudged for the kitchen, not wanting them to be aware of your eavesdropping.

Stretching the hem of your knee length skirt with your hands, you kicked your feet in the air to get the non existing elasticity to work. chances were not less but anybody could see you so while cursing at chelin for the tight skirt you made your way inside the office. Your bag made contact with your right hip as you walked into the office corridors. You entered the security doors through the pass that was generated online for first day entry.You never wanted to enter this side of the famous company but with minimum options available you had no choice but to associate yourself with this branch, infamous for saving culprits of money laundering, false accusations and what not.

“ms. y/n?” a receptionist shifted your attention to her tall frame. You affirmed with a nod and she extended her hand asking for the documents.

“I’ll place your original documents in our custody room. No need to worry, this is a mere formality as we don’t make interns sign confidentiality papers. As you already know , you can end your internship with a three weeks prior notice and when we receive that application, your document would be handed back. And in case, you become an associate, and that would depend on your performance, you’ll get them at the promotion.”

You followed her steps as she stopped at a desk and gave you the papers back.

“change the folder to a chois file. And sign this receipt. I’ll give you a copy and don’t lose it if you want your degree back.” You blinked drinking each and every word she said. You again nodded like  a lost child and completed the formalities. After a few minutes you were shown to your small desk that was decorated with a pyramid of legal files.

“do I have to work on these” you voiced your fear. Even if it was a stipend based internship, nobody would take up that work load.

“oh no! actually I forgot that you were joining but I’ll get it cleaned in the evening so you can adjust for today right?” before you could respond the sound of her heels faded away in the distance.

“Welcome to the great chois y/n” you mumbled to yourself, picking up a random file to pass the time until further orders.

A week later

To keep your mind off the distasteful look painted all over mr. kwang’s face, you chose to look at his new assistant. The clicking or rather banging of the keys of the computer combined with the occasional scratch of her nails was highly uncomfortable but not more than the man sitting beside her. Your professor didn’t find it amusing that his favourite free fund student was asking for her permitted leave.

“how much have you progressed with the thesis?” he scoffed, respectfully dumping the application  on the table.

“I’ll be working half day. I’m not supposed to accompany them to the hearings so I’ll be back in the university in the late afternoon to research on that.”

He sighed, clearly not satisfied by the answer, “you want to skip lectures for an assistant job!”

“I would be promoted shortly so it’s acceptable sir.” A lie slipped out before you could stop yourself.

“what about getting distinction in thesis?”

“I’ll be surrounded with experts so it’s not a big deal sir.  I’m getting late. I’ll see you in Friday’s lecture.” In sync with his eyeballs, he rolled his chair to face the other way. Picking up the paper you bowed to his back and left the staffroom , a grin of content bedazzling your face.

"He did what?" Johnny tried hard to control his laughter but the scenario you were narrating was too humorous for him to keep his hands stable on the wheel.

"I'm not kidding John. Yugyeom seriously forgot kook  at Busan. But he did go back to get him though but I won't blame gyeom for this error!"

"Oh yeah! Just because jungkook slept in the gym doesn't justify his mistake girl. The driver should count the passengers before taking the wheel. Look at me, i never forget anyone no matter what!"

"Stop blowing your own trumpet. Don't forget you are driving a stolen car!"

Johnny rolled his eyes at the comment , "no, borrowed from mark so I can spend more time with you. stop lawyering and tell me what you did in the break. Apart from flirting with jungwoo of course."  

You shook your head at him as he repeated the same you-flirt-with-jungwoo mantra again but this time decided to follow the lead , "so what if we flirt! He's teaching me to save myself from predators , abductors and he’s very gentle with me. Have you seen his eyes! I want to drown myself in the depth of those brown sea-

"Oh my god I'm so sorry! I'm never mentioning that again but please stop. You are awful with words." His laughed again, you joining him soon. " Now seriously tell me how were your holidays"

"Umm nothing new except that everyone was on university funded trips leaving me with minjun , his camera and the plants. We explored botanies and flower shops an-

He had lied. You were not sounding awful but he just hated how quickly his heart beat at someone else's mention from your lips. He consumed each and every word like he could be tested on the said information later on. His eyes were glued to the road and his ears to your voice. He wanted nothing more than to be the only one you’d see. He wanted nothing more than to be subject of your talking but the voice in the back of his mind said fuck it johnny, you are already asking for too much. He hated how he lost control over his senses whenever you were near him but he was slowly getting used to the dilemma. But the trance he was trapped in quickly broke down when you mentioned something. Abruptly stopping the car by the trees, he faced you to confirm.

"You are doing what?"

"I'm interning. Don't look at me like I stole your candy John. I need money." You innocently replied not aware of the reason behind his sudden dumbfounded expression.

"Shouldn't you be focusing on masters!n yuta is supposed to pay for you so why do y-

" I can work for my money johnny." Frustration made its way to your face as you continued,"drop me home johnny!" You weren't sure whether it was for his mention or him questioning your ability to feed yourself but you were offended.

"Yeah I'm sorry. I won't mention that again" a hollow apology and the car sailed again.

Hiding himself in his car seat, Johnny's fingers hovered over various contacts. Taeyong, taeil, Yuta, jaehyun! He wasn't sure what he wanted to do or whose side he wanted to take. He just wanted to be with you and no one else! but he couldnt do that !

Kicking harshly at the brakes, he screamed. The voice reaching no one’s ears but his own.

Was he asking for too much?

i wanted to add more to this chapter but i dont find enough time to write due to some commitments! but i’ll update one more chapter before this beautiful year ends. and all the smut chapters would be uploaded again sans the adult stuff for the minor readers! and there are few more chapters left. masterlist says 12 chapters bcs i’m lazy（￣︶￣）↗　

HAPPY DECEMBER EVERYONE. HAPPY HANUKKAH AND MARRY CHRISTMAS. BE THE SANTA OF YOUR LIFE AND SPREAD HAPPINESS!!

[eddiesasspbrak]

When I’m With You Ch. 8

Eddie can’t stand the barista at his favorite coffee shop. Richie has fallen in love with the man he sees twice a week. Stan is dating someone but won’t let his friends meet them. Ben is in love with Beverly, but is so afraid of scaring her away he’s not moving forward. Chaotic friends navigating college together. 

Ch. 1

Ch. 9

Read on AO3

5k+ words

Saturday turns to Sunday then Monday and when Tuesday rolls around again, Eddie feels drained. He still hasn’t gotten a single text from Richie since the first kiss. He thought he might hear from him after the second kiss outside his apartment, but it was radio silence and he felt terrible. It crossed his mind that maybe Richie was waiting to hear from him, but every time he opened their conversation to send him something, his mind went blank.

All through his morning class he was anxious. He hadn’t seen him again over the last three days and he was terrified of going to the café. There were other people at the café. He was sure he’d make a fool of himself, maybe blurt something out in front of everyone about the kiss. He wasn’t sure which was worse, having Bill and Mike overhear it or having a room full of strangers overhear it. Both scenarios sounded bad and he’d likely have to deal with both if he went to the café. He made the choice to skip his trip to the shop that day, opting to go to the chain café in the union instead.

He really didn’t like their coffee. Their flavored drinks were too sweet, and they cut their coffee grounds with chicory and Eddie didn’t like the taste of that. Still, he needed caffeine and the alternative was going to see Richie and he wasn’t ready for that. The line was long, looping around the displays of coffee mugs, cups and bags of coffee grounds. By the time Eddie reached the front fifteen minutes had passed and the two behind the counter looked overwhelmed and exhausted.

Eddie ordered a plain coffee with soymilk, used to the creamy taste of the drinks Richie had been making for him now. It was a simple drink but the people in front of him had all ordered something complicated, so he was left waiting in the queue for much longer than anticipated. When he finally got his order, leaving a larger tip than he normally would in the tip jar, he made his way toward the tables only to see they were packed. He’d been about to give up and make the trek to his next class to wait out in the hallway, when he heard his name being called over the noise of the crowd.

He looked in the general direction he’d heard the voice come from and saw Bev, standing and waving her hand over her head. Eddie smiled and made his way through the bodies bustling around getting breakfast to the table being occupied by Ben and Bev.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” She said as Eddie pulled out a seat across from them.

“He’s usually at the café around this time on Tuesdays.” Ben said before he could open his mouth.

Bev eyed the cup in his hand, seeing it was from the chain place instead of the café the boys worked at.

“Did you really choose that crap over the stuff Richie and Mike make?” She asked, folding her arms on top of the table

“I didn’t feel like walking to the café today. It’s cold.” Eddie took a sip of the coffee and wrinkled his nose. “But yea, this is disgusting.”

“You’ve been walking there every Tuesday and Thursday since the semester started. It was way colder before.” Ben said, somehow knowing his friend was hiding something. “Are you avoiding Richie?”

Eddie didn’t know that they both knew about the kiss on Thursday. He hadn’t expected Richie to tell anyone about that, so it never even crossed his mind that they knew. He certainly didn’t want to tell them about it. If everyone knew then it would become too real and then Richie might find out he’d been thinking about it and talking about it.

“Why would I be avoiding Richie?” He asked, not making eye contact with either of his friends.

“You tell me.”

Eddie sighed and sat back in his chair. If there was anyone he could talk to about this, it was these two. When it came down to it, he trusted Bev not to run to Richie to tell him what he said, and he knew that Ben kept confidences better than anyone. He was still anxious about it but maybe it was ok if it was just these two.

“Richie kissed me.” He said, just loud enough to be heard over the nearby chatter.

“Really?” Bev asked, trying to sound surprised.

“Twice.”

“Twice?” Ok, now she was surprised.

“Once while we were playing laser tag and once on Saturday.”

“Wait…he didn’t even show up Saturday.” Ben said, looking to Bev for confirmation in case he’d somehow forgotten something.

“He showed up while I was leaving and walked home with me. We were outside my apartment door when he kissed me.”

“So, hold on, you’re avoiding him because he kissed you? I got the vibe that you were starting to like him.” Bev leaned in closer, genuinely intrigued by the conversation.

“I’m avoiding him because I don’t know what the kisses meant. After the first time, he didn’t say anything, flipped me off and walked away. Then on Saturday he just walked away again and went into his apartment. What am I supposed to think?” Eddie put his head down on the table, his hand a buffer between the two.

“I can’t tell you for sure, but I know that Richie doesn’t just go around kissing people for no reason.” Bev said, reaching out and placing her hand on top of Eddie’s free hand. “The real question is, what did the kisses mean to you?”

Eddie lifted his head again. “I don’t know. Nothing. It was weird.”

“Did you like the kisses?” Ben asked.

“I don’t know. No?”

“Do you like Richie?” Beverly asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“No.” Despite his answer, Eddie’s cheeks were flushed, and he couldn’t look at either of them again.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

“Oh, hey Richie.”

Eddie’s entire body tensed as he quickly looked over his shoulder, a smile immediately coming to his lips. When he looked, no one was there, and he realized he’d been fooled. Looking back to the others, both Ben and Bev were smiling.

“You definitely like him.” She said.

“Jesus, fine! Yes, I like him, and I don’t want to like him. He’s annoying and confusing and he kisses me without warning and doesn’t even tell me what for!”

“You need to talk to him. Tell him what you’re feeling.”

“Oh, Eddie would never do that.” Ben said.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing! What if I tell him I like him, and he doesn’t feel the same? What if the kisses didn’t mean anything and I make a fool of myself? I’ll never be able to face him again. And now my friends are dating his friends and hanging out as a group will never be possible because I won’t be able to be in the same room as him.”

“Alright. Take a breath.” Bev said, grabbing his hand again. “Richie likes you. I know he does.”

“How?”

“He’s told me. That first night we all hung out at the bar two weeks ago, he told me that he’s been pining for you since the first time you walked into the café. I wanted him to be the one to tell you but you’re both so stupid, you clearly won’t move forward without a bit of interference.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you. I had to talk both of you into your relationship.” Eddie said, pointing a finger between the two of them.

They both smiled shyly and looked at one another. It was true. They’d both gone to Eddie and Richie to complain about their crushes on the other. If it hadn’t been for them, they may have never moved forward. Ben already told Bev all about the shopping trip and how it had been organized to help him impress her. Now, it was their turn to help their friends get together.

“Talk to him, Eddie. I promise you it will go well.” Bev said, squeezing his hand.

*

That afternoon when Eddie got home from class, he planned to text Richie and ask him if they could talk. He stared at his phone, thumbs hovering over the buttons and unable to start the message. He set his phone aside and began doing anything that could distract him from sending the text. Homework, cleaning, yoga, anything. By the time 5:30 came round, he felt ridiculous. Multiple times he’d tried again to send a message and every time he got too anxious and gave up. It was such a simple thing to do with so much weight tied to it.

He sat on the couch, staring at the phone on the coffee table. Sighing, he reached over and grabbed it, trying once more to send anything. Just as he thought he was working up the courage to type out the first word, a knock sounded from his door and he jumped, dropping the phone on the couch. Leaving it there, he rushed to his door and looked out the peephole. Standing there was Richie.

Eddie’s heart leapt into his throat and he wondered if he could hear him on the other side of the door. His instinct told him to pretend he wasn’t there and wait until he walked away, but that was so stupid. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked and opened the door with shaking fingers.

“Oh, thank God you’re home.” Richie sighed as soon as he saw Eddie.

“Er…is everything ok?”

“Not really. I ran down to check my mail and locked myself out.”

Eddie looked him up and down. He was in sweats and an oversized t-shirt and his feet were bare aside from socks.

“You went down to check your mail without shoes on?”

“Yea.”

“That is so gross. I never step foot outside of my apartment without shoes on.”

Richie smiled. “It’s not that bad.”

“If you were checking your mail, don’t you have your keys?”

“I don’t keep my mailbox key with my house keys.”

“Why not? That is just so irresponsible. You’re asking for something like this to happen.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to take pity on me?”

Eddie sighed and stepped aside, gesturing with his whole arm for him to enter. He was trying to pretend like his heart wasn’t beating fast enough to potentially leap out of his chest. This wasn’t the first time Richie had been in his apartment, but the first time he’d been too distracted by the mouse to have many feelings about him being there. Now he was too aware of the way he looked in his space.

“Can you text Bev? I left my phone in my apartment and she’s got an extra key.” Richie said, sitting on the armchair.

“Yea.” Eddie felt like he was moving stiffly as he crossed back to the couch to retrieve his phone.

Eddie: Richie locked himself out of his apartment. Can you bring him the extra key?

Bev: So you guys talked?!

Eddie: No. He just showed up like 10 seconds ago. Are you bringing the key or not?

Bev: Ben and I are out to eat right now but we’ll swing by when we’re done. An hour maybe?

Eddie: Great

Bev: TALK! TO! HIM!

“Well?” Richie looked up at him expectantly.

“She’s out with Ben. She said it would be an hour.” Eddie said, sitting on the couch.

“Damn. I was about to order dinner.” Richie sighed.

“I can…probably make something.” Eddie said, looking at anything but Richie. “I just went grocery shopping the other day, so I’ve got some stuff.”

“You’re going to cook for me?” Richie grinned.

“Or you could help me.” Eddie meant to say something with a bit more wit, but his brain was moving at the pace of a snail.

Without waiting for a response, Eddie stood and headed to the kitchen. He’d mostly grabbed things that were quick to make, and he wasn’t sure what to offer him. He opened a cabinet and saw the spaghetti noodles and tomato sauce he’d forgotten about. He pulled them out set them on the counter. He grabbed his biggest pot and a smaller one, filling the bigger one with water and setting it to boil on the stove top. When he turned back, he saw Richie, holding the box of noodles in his hand.

“It’s all I really have.” Eddie said, doubting himself now and wondering if it was an ok choice.

Richie shrugged and set the noodles back on the counter. “Sounds good to me. What can I do?”

“Do you know how to make garlic bread?”

“You just mix butter with garlic cloves, right?”

“Yea but I don’t have any cloves. We’ll have to use powdered garlic.” Eddie opened the smallest cabinet and pulled out a jar of powdered garlic.

“They make powdered garlic?” Richie asked, crossing the room and taking it from Eddie’s hand.

“I guess.” Eddie was trying not to react to the fact that their fingers brushed when he took the bottle. He turned to grab the loaf of bread he’d bought, setting it aside. His put space between them when he went to get the butter from the fridge.

“So, what do I do?” Richie asked, taking the twist tie off the bread bag.

“Don’t you know how to cook?”

“Not really.”

“But you bake.”

“Baking and cooking are not the same thing.”

Eddie had pulled out a baking sheet, a little bowl, a spoon and a knife, setting them all out on the counter.

“It’s pretty much the same thing.”

“Baking is precise. You follow the recipe, mix everything up in a bowl then throw it in the oven for a while. Easy. When cooking you actually have to like pay attention to it and do stuff and add stuff. It’s too much work.”

“It’s spaghetti.”

“No, you put me in charge of the garlic bread. That’s much more difficult.”

“Oh my God.” Eddie couldn’t help smiling as he rolled his eyes. “Put some butter in the bowl, add garlic until you think it’s enough and mix it up.”

“Yes sir.” Richie jokingly saluted Eddie before doing as he was told.

While he did that, Eddie went to preheat the oven and pour the noodles into the already boiling water. Having something to do distracted him from the fact that he was alone with Richie, making dinner with him like it was a normal thing to do. Like they hadn’t kissed twice in the same week and then not spoken for nearly three days. They usually saw each other on Tuesdays, but as Eddie had not gone to the café that morning, he hadn’t expected to see him at all. This turn of events was anxiety inducing but also had Eddie thinking that fate was at work.

“Just spread the mixture on the bread and put it on the sheet.” Eddie instructed, turning and watching Richie.

When he was done, he put the baking sheet in the oven and turned to Eddie with a smile. Now that there was nothing to do but wait, Eddie felt anxious again. He wanted to talk to him, to ask why he had kissed him both times. When he opened his mouth to ask, nothing came out. It was like his brain disconnected from his vocal cords and he was stood there with his mouth hanging open and his cheeks turning pink.

“You didn’t come by this morning.” Richie said when Eddie still didn’t speak up.

“No…I…was busy.” He lied, turning his gaze to the floor.

“That’s good. I thought you were avoiding me.”

Eddie’s eyes snapped back up to his face in time to see the forced smile directed his way. He knew that he was hiding that same disappointed look he’d seen twice already. The look that gutted him and made him want to hug Richie tightly and never let go. He opened his mouth again, trying to find something to say that would wipe that look away, when a sizzling noise form the stove stole both their attention. When they turned to the stove, they saw the water in the pot boiling over.

“Shit!” Eddie exclaimed, rushing forward to turn the heat down. He flinched when a bit of water splashed out and landed on his fingers.

“You ok?” Richie asked, grabbing his wrist to look at his fingers. They were a little red, but not burned.

“It’s fine.” Eddie said, gently pulling his hand away and turning to grab the noodles before Richie noticed the redness filling his cheeks.

He opened the box and put half of the noodles into the pot to soften and cook. While he did that, Richie opened the jar of tomato sauce and poured half of it into the other pot. He replaced the lid and put it in Eddie’s fridge. Eddie watched him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way his eyes followed him. Turning back to the stove, looking down at the noodles in the pot, he tried to find his courage again.

“Why…would I be avoiding you?” Eddie asked, knowing that he was in fact avoiding him and why.

Richie shrugged and came to stand beside him, leaning his back against the counter. “Because I kissed you.”

Eddie’s entire body felt tingly as the shock washed over him. “Oh.” Was all he could manage to say at the moment.

“So, you aren’t avoiding me, then?” Richie asked, tilting his head back so he could see Eddie’s face.

“Why did you kiss me?” Eddie blurted out as soon as their eyes met. “Both times.”

“Because I like you.”

Eddie had been hoping that would be his answer, but he was still surprised when he heard it. Richie was smiling now, a real smile.

“You…like me…like…” Eddie was having a hard time putting a sentence together, his head swimming with too many thoughts.

“Like I want to kiss you again. Like I want to take you on dates and hold your hand. Like I want to spentd time with you. Just you. Is that ok with you?”

Still unable to reconnect his brain and come up with an intelligible answer, Eddie just nodded quickly, his eyes drifting to Richie’s lips. He lifts his hand and cups Eddie’s cheek, closing the distance between them and stealing his lips in a kiss. This makes it three and the butterflies in Eddie’s stomach are still there, swirling around and making him dizzy. Stepping back a bit from the stove, he moves closer to Richie and tangles his fingers in the sleeves of his shirt. This kiss is different from the other two, the first one had been urgent and crushing, the second had been quick and chaste. This time it was soft, full of longing and Eddie actually sighed into it, relief taking over him.

Richie pulls away a minute later, turning to look at the stove top. Eddie’s barely noticed, he’s lightheaded and in a daze. He snaps out of it when Richie turns back to him and says, “Is something burning?”

Eddie looks to the noodles and sees they’re boiling away but seem to be fine. They exchanged a confused looked until they simultaneously remembered the garlic bread. Eddie stepped away from Richie to grab an oven mitt while Richie turned off the oven and opened the oven door. A bit of smoke came out, causing him to cough and wave his hand in front of his face to disperse the cloud. Eddie came back with the oven mitt and pulled out the pan, setting it down on the stove top.

“We’re bad at this.” Richie laughed, pushing his hand through his mess of curls.

“It’s not…that burnt…” Eddie said, using a fork to lift the edge of one slice to assess the damage.

The bottoms of the bread were blackened, but not badly enough to be unappealing to either boy. Eddie instructed Richie to start heating the sauce while he retrieved the colander to empty the noodles into. He looked over and watched Richie stirring the sauce with a spoon and a thrill went through him. With the food taking a front seat to his thoughts again, he hadn’t yet had time to process the fact that Richie said he liked him. Did this mean they were kind of dating now? This was new for Eddie and the thought of actually having a boyfriend was too exciting for words.

When the noodles were drained of water and the pot was placed in the other side of the sink, Eddie turned to grab two plates down from the cabinet. They put their plates together in silence, neither really sure what so sat to one another. Eddie only had one stool in the kitchen and didn’t have a dining table. When others were over and eating, they always just sat on the floor of the living room in front of the coffee table. He led Richie back to the living room where they made themselves comfortable in front of the table. They bickered about what to watch, settling on a comedy movie on Netflix Richie was sure Eddie would like.

They spoke as they ate about the movie and other movies and TV shows they enjoyed. They joke about how terrible to food is. The noodles are sticking together, the sauce is somehow cold in some spots and the bread is hard to bite into and is surely cutting up the insides of their mouths. Eddie can’t help but laugh along with Richie and it feels good. It feels normal and like he’s been waiting to feel like this with the other man. All the time he’d spent hating him felt like so long ago now.

“You were avoiding me, weren’t you?” Richie asked after they’d finished eating and were leaning against the front of the couch.

“I was embarrassed.” Eddie said, keeping his eyes on the TV. “I didn’t know why you kissed me, so I was scared to see you.”

Richie nodded because he understood. He’d never meant to confuse him. He’d wanted to text him about a hundred times but didn’t know what to say to him. He’d stood outside his apartment door for five minutes before working up the courage to knock. If he had anyone else to turn to, he’d probably have gone to them instead.

“Probably for the best. I might have jumped the counter and dry humped you in the middle of the café if you’d shown up this morning. You were right to be scared.” He grinned.

“Shut up.” Eddie laughed. “I was scared of what I would say, not what you would do.”

“Why? What would have you have said?”

“I don’t know. That despite all logic I wanted to kiss your stupid trashmouth again.”

“Oh, then I definitely would have jumped the counter. Put on a show for the other customers.”

“I guess I shouldn’t come in Thursday either.”

“I think that means you should definitely come in Thursday. Seeing you is the highlight of my day.”

Eddie could feel the heat crawling up his neck again, adding color to his cheeks and ears. He thought of all the times he’d gone into the shop and Richie’s face had lit up with a smile. He believed him. Not seeing him that morning had been hard. If he hadn’t been so anxious and worried, he would have given in and gone to the café.

“I’ll come in Thursday.” Eddie said quietly, finally turning his head to look at Richie.

Richie’s smile was soft, not full of joy and humor like it usually was. This time when he leaned into kiss Eddie, he was ready for it. He let his hands drift up to tangle in Richie’s curls, something he’d been thinking about doing for days. When Richie dipped his tongue into his mouth, he let him, parting his lips a bit more with each kiss so they could tangle together. Richie tasted like tomato sauce and garlic, though he guessed they both did. Gently pushing on Eddie’s shoulders, Richie urged him to lie back on the floor. It’s hard against his back and uncomfortable but he doesn’t care because Richie’s tongue is in his mouth and his weight is pressing down on him in all the right places.

Eddie’s vaguely aware of the noises he’s letting out into Richie’s mouth but he’s floating outside of his body while being completely aware of every feeling that’s shooting through his limbs. His hair is soft between his fingers and he smells like soap as if he’d showered before coming over and that was such a ridiculous turn on for Eddie. Knowing he was clean just heightened it all and he felt his toes actually curl against the floor. Richie’s hands are hot on his skin as his fingers push his shirt up a bit making Eddie shiver. It was all too much and not enough all at once and Eddie honestly didn’t know how far he was willing to let Richie go at the moment.

When a knock sounded from the door, Richie groaned in annoyance but kept kissing him.

“Rich! I’ve got your key!” Bev’s voice came from hallway.

“Fuck.” He sighed, finally pulling away.

Sitting up, Richie pulled Eddie up with him, pressing another quick kiss to his lips before standing and leaving him there on the floor. Eddie still hadn’t full come back into his head and he suddenly felt cold without Richie’s body on top of him. He watched him walk to the door and open it, letting Bev and Ben in.

“Here.” Bev held out her keys for Richie to take.

“Thanks.” He said before turning back to Eddie. “I’ll be right back.”

He went off down the hall with Bev trailing behind him. Ben stayed though and crossed to sit in the armchair by Eddie. He looked down at Eddie’s flushed face and raised his eyebrows at him.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“Yep. I’m find. Just…we were watching a movie.” Eddie lifted himself off the floor to sit on the couch instead.

“Did you burn something?”

“Garlic bread. Turns out neither of us can make spaghetti without at least twelve disasters.” Eddie grinned.

“You cooked him dinner?”

“No, we cooked together.”

“And you ate together and watched a movie?”

“Yea.”

“Is this a date?”

“What? No. It’s…” Eddie didn’t know what to say because did this count as a date? Richie had confessed his feelings and they’d made out on his floor, so maybe?

“I’ve got cookies!” Bev said, reappearing in the doorway with a freezer bag of cookies held above her head.

She plopped down on the couch next to Eddie and opened the bag, taking one for herself and offering the bag out to the other two. Richie came in a second later, closing the door behind him and taking the other spot next to Eddie. Each of the boys took a cookie for themselves and listened as Bev spoke about the waiter, they’d had at the restaurant they went to.

“I’m telling you, his eyes were locked onto my chest. I offered to take them off and give them to him and he turned red and ran away.” She laughed. “Oh my God, Richie why are these so good?”

Richie shrugged. “They’re just chocolate chip.”

“They’re the most amazing chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had, aren’t they good?” Bev asked, looking at Eddie.

“Better than the garlic bread.” Eddie smiled. “It makes no sense that you can do this and can’t make garlic bread without nearly burning down my kitchen.”

“That was partially your fault.” Richie said, nudging his shoulder.

Eddie’s brain brought back the image of kissing Richie in the kitchen which then switched to the much hotter kiss they’d exchanged on the floor right in front of where he was sitting. He stood abruptly, grabbing the plates off the table.

“I’ve got to go wash these.” He said, squeezing between Richie’s knees and the table and making a beeline for the kitchen.

Richie watched him go before standing up a second later. “I should help.” He said, following after him.

He found Eddie standing over the sink, rubber gloves on his hands and water running over the dishes. Richie could see from where he was that his ears were turning pink again and he smiled to himself. He enjoyed how easily he could make Eddie flustered. He walked as quietly as he could to stand behind him, startling him when he encircled his waist with his arms, his chin coming to rest on his shoulder.

“Need help?” He asked.

“You can dry.” Eddie said, pointing to the towel hanging from the door of the oven.

Pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, Richie let him go and retrieved the towel. Eddie handed him the first plate he’d just finished scrubbing and he set to work drying it. They continued quietly, Eddie washing and then passing each dish off to Richie to dry. When everything was done, Eddie turned off the water and for the first time Richie noticed the little clothesline he had strung up above the sink between the cabinets. He took off the rubber gloves and clipped them up.

“Is that really for your gloves?” Richie grinned.

“They’ll mildew if you don’t dry them before putting them away.” Eddie said with a frown.

“Ok then.” Richie chuckled.

“What? It’s not weird!” Eddie said, defensive.

“I didn’t say it was weird.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re so fucking cute.”

“Oh.” Eddie looked away from Richie, flustered once again.

Richie set the towel on the counter and grabbed Eddie’s face between his hands, pulling him into a quick kiss. Eddie pulled back as much as he could while he still held his face and looked toward the living room with panicked eyes.

“Bev and Ben are still in there.” He whispered.

“So?” Richie asked before kissing him again.

Eddie didn’t pull back this time, letting him kiss him and effectively steal all the breath from his lungs in the process. The fact that they could do this whenever was an amazing realization and Richie was going to take advantage as often as he could.

“Hey, Ben wants to know if you have any…milk…” Bev’s voice trailed away, and Eddie pushed Richie away by his shoulders.

They both turned to look at her and Eddie’s mouth hung open while his face turned at least two shades redder. Without another word, Bev crossed the kitchen and gave Richie a high-five. Mortified, Eddie covered his face with his hands.

“So, milk?” She asked.

“Fridge.” Eddie said behind his hands.

Richie put an arm around him and pulled him against him with a laugh. So, Bev knew and so now would Ben. Eddie didn’t know how he felt about that. It was all so new and the idea of all his friends knowing brought on a new kind of anxious feeling. He suddenly understood why Stan had kept his own relationship hidden for so long. Still, the embarrassment and worry couldn’t chase away the giddy feeling because Richie liked him and didn’t care who knew.

[moonstruckholland]

Dive (P.P)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female Reader

Word Count: 2,374

Warning: A few curse words, fluff, some angst

A/N: Hey, darlings! So I wrote this for @h-osterfield’s 5K writing challenge. Thank you for letting me participate, hun! Also, I want to say a huge thanks to @rachramblesstuff for helping me with me this (and for encouraging me to write). I’m so excited for y’all to read this. It’s probably the favorite thing I’ve ever written and I hope you love it as much as I do and any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. (Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves 💕)

Peter stepped into the classroom, a blush rushing to his cheeks as he realized not only was he late to his first class this semester, catching the attention of over 80 students, but there was absolutely nowhere for him to sit. ‘I knew sleeping in those extra 30 minutes would be a mistake,’ he thought as he quickly started towards the rows upon rows of seats, his eyes searching for an empty space. He could feel the blood rushing to his face with every second he spent looking for a seat, thoughts of anxiety and embarrassment flooding his mind.

He was just about to give up when he a heard a soft, “Hey!” He looked to the left side of him, seeing the most beautiful girl waving him over. He pointed to himself as if to ask “are you talking to me?” You nodded, tapping the seat the next to you. Still shocked that you were talking to him of all people, he rushed over, softly saying “thank you” under his breath. “No problem. I saved a seat just in case someone like you stumbled in.” He gave you a confused look, “Someone like me?” You gave him a heart-stopping smile, “Someone late, lost, and extremely cute.” His eyes widened at your words, another blush reddening his cheeks. You giggled softly, making sure the professor wasn’t paying attention, before holding out your hand. “I’m y/n, by the way.” He shook your hand, thinking to himself, ‘This has to be a dream.’

Your brow raised when he didn’t introduce himself, “And you are?”

“Oh, um,” Peter racked his brain. Apparently, pretty girls didn’t just make him lose his train of thought, they also made him forget his name. It felt like forever before he finally remembered, stuttering out, “I-I’m Peter.”

You let out a small laugh and Peter had never wanted to disappear more than in that moment. ‘Forgetting my name? Great. She’s never going to want to talk to me again.’ He was so sure his thoughts were right, almost expecting you to reject him right then and there. But you caught him by surprise, leaning a bit closer to him to say, “I think we’re going to be great friends, Peter.”

You were more than right, immediately becoming the closest friends. Nothing more ever came out of it, but Peter was fully content having someone to hang out with basically all of the time. In fact, it hadn’t even crossed his mind. That didn’t stop people from thinking you were dating though. The two of you didn’t know it, but you were the talk of the class. People will either in love with the idea of you being together, or totally jealous of it. You were the only ones that couldn’t see you were obviously in love with with each other, completely oblivious to all of the signs from yourselves and your classmates.

On this particular day you were supposed to be studying, or at least that’s what you told Peter to convince him to go with you. Instead, you were goofing around, the pair of you trying to contain your laughter in hopes of not alerting the strict librarian not too far from you. “Pete!! Be quiet, you’re gonna get us in trouble!” You leaned into his shoulder, a mischievous smile on your face. “Oh, yeah,” he rolled his eyes jokingly. “I’m the one that’s being too loud.” You softly nudged his shoulder, pretending to be annoyed before getting up, mumbling something about taking your loud ass to the bathroom, leaving Peter alone and laughing to himself. He shook his head, the biggest smile of his face as he attempted to actually look at the textbook that had been sitting in front of him for the past hour.

He was interrupted almost immediately after starting, a guy from the class you took together, Jared, taking in a seat in front of him. He looked up, confused. They weren’t friends, and they’d never really spoken before, only occasionally when one needed a pencil or a piece a paper. He had no idea what he could possibly want.

Jared leaned forever on his elbows, looking around, before saying in a low tone, “You know, I’d be careful around her if I were you.”

Peter gave him a questioning look, more confused and a little annoyed, “Dude, what are you talking about?”

“Look, you didn’t hear it from me, but y/n isn’t looking for anything serious. She has a tendency to lead people on.”

Peter held back an eye roll, definitely annoyed now, “Are you speaking from experience?

Jared ignores his question and raises his hands in defense, “Hey, I’m just trying to help you out.” He leans down a little closer to Peter, their faces only a few inches away from each other, “Don’t fall for her, okay?”

Peter gives him his bed fake smile and a thumbs up, hoping it’ll be enough to get him to go away. Much to his relief, Jared does leave, just in time for you to come back.

You look back before sitting down, confused as you catch sight of Jared leaving the library hastily. “What was he doing here?”

Peter was so happy you were back, he had almost completely forget about the pesky encounter. “I’m not really sure. He was talking shit or something.”

You rolled your eyes, “Why am I not surprised?

Peter opened his mouth, wanting to ask about what happened between the two of you, only to up distracted by you, hanging off of your every word.

It wasn’t until a couple of years later, after having already fallen in love with you and never saying a word, that he started to wish he would’ve listened to the warning. Of course as time passed he tried moving on, but he always ended in the exact position he was in now, the only one he preferred to be in-right next to you.

The two of you were laying on the couch, your head resting on his shoulder and his arm around you as you watched reruns of Friends for the hundredth time. He looked down at you, admiring the way you got lost in the show, even after seeing it so many times. You were so beautiful and he was so in love.

‘She’s never going to go for me. I waited too long.’ The doubtful thoughts ran through his head, plaguing him with feelings of regret. There was no point in trying now. He was almost positive it was too late.

But then you turned and gave him this look, a look that seemed to be specifically for him, that pushed all of his negative feelings to the side. He didn’t know what it was, there was just something about it that gave him just a sliver of hope. ‘Do it. Do it now.’ He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat to get a better view of you. “Um, y/n. There’s something I want to tell you. You gave him your signature heart-melting smile, “What���s up, Pete?” This was it. He was finally taking a chance, ready to take the plunge and fully dive into you. “I-I, um,” he hesitated, the thought of never being able to turn back to normal running through his head. He knew if he didn’t do it now, he probably never would.

“I think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do,” he said it quickly and without thinking, making it come out all wrong.

‘I think? Don’t know what to do? Good job, stupid. All I had to was, “I’m in love with you.” Of course I would fuck it up.’ Too caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the way your eyes widened, your smile instantly turning to a frown as you shakily asked, “What?”

He didn’t hesitate this time. “I’m in love with you.” Peter didn’t know what to expect, he never did when it came to you, but there was a part of him that thought maybe, just maybe you felt the same way. That same part of him hoped to see you jump into his arms, professing your love for him as well. Instead, you jumped up from the couch, shaking your head as you headed for the door. You only turned around to softly say, “I’m sorry,” before exiting the apartment and shattering Peter’s heart.

You ran out of the apartment and headed straight for the stairs, you mind going a mile a minute. You wanted to go back, to tell him you felt the same way, but all that came out of your mouth was a breathless mantra of “fuck, fuck, fuck.”

‘What am I doing? I love him. I should go back. I have to go back.’ You stopped for a moment, finally looking back now that you were out of the building. You considered going back just for a second, your worries creeping up on you almost immediately after, convincing you to walk away and go home before you did any more damage. That’s how you spent the next six days after that. Convincing yourself to see him, or at least talk to him, starting to make the first move, only to come marching back to your bed, or throwing your phone as far away from you as possible.

You laid in bed, engulfed in thick blankets, a piece of a kit-kat one hand and your phone in the other, your finger once again ghosting over the call sign next to his contact on your phone. Just one tap on the screen and things could be fixed, back to normal. ‘Or even better than normal.’ The thought popped into your head, filling your mind with cute scenarios. You and Peter dating, holding hands as you cuddled on the couch, both of you content in each other’s arms. It was so vivid, seeming so real you almost made the call right then and there. ‘Or he already changed his mind and doesn’t want you anymore.’ And just like that the lovely thoughts were gone and you immediately shut off your screen, tossing your phone to the other side of the bed. You couldn’t risk it, you wouldn’t. Peter meant everything to you. If you took a chance and it didn’t work out, then who would you have left? You didn’t even want to imagine not having Peter in your life. Less than a week without him, the longest you’d ever gone without speaking, and you felt so lost, like a piece of you was missing. It hadn’t occurred to you in the moment, only when you finally got home and all you wanted to do was call him, but when you walked out the door, you also ended up walking out of your friendship.

‘I need to see him. Maybe I can still fix this.’ You got up, feeling determined as you grabbed your phone and car keys. You were going to make things right.

You paused, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. You were fully dressed in your Perry the Platypus pajamas, your hair a total mess, and flip flops on your feet. “I can’t go like this,” you whispered to yourself. You shook your head, knowing Peter wouldn’t care and if you turned back you would chicken out and end up back in bed.

You took a deep breath, “Okay, I’m going.” You marched straight to the door, confidence bursting through you. You immediately stopped in your tracks once again, coming face to face with a wide eyed Peter. There were bags under his eyes, his lips all broken up from biting them too much, something you knew he did when he was nervous. You didn’t think it could, but your heart broke even more.

He looked down at your hands, noticing the car keys. “Where you heading somewhere?”

“I, um,” you could barely speak, not believing he was actually here, “No. I wasn’t.” You stepped back, telling him to come inside.

He hesitated, looking at you with sad eyes. “We’ve never done this long-“

“I know.”

He looked away, tears in eyes, “I miss you.”

You could feel yourself choking up, hating to see him in pain. “I miss you too, Pete.”

He walks in, still a little hesitant with his movements. It hurt you to see him acting as if he was out if place. He looked around, his eyes resting on you after a moment and gives you a sad smile. “Look, I’m sorry if I came on too strong and freaked you out. Just forget what I said, okay? I want things to go back to normal.”

You didn’t say anything, processing his words. You almost agreed with him, telling him you wanted normal again too, but you didn’t. You couldn’t, not after everything. “I don’t want to forget,” you didn’t meet his eyes, deciding to focus on fiddling with the string on your pants instead, fear coursing through your veins, “I love you, Peter.”

He frowned, taking a couple of steps away from you. “Y/n, please stop. Don’t pretend to feel something just because you feel bad for me.”

“I’m not pretending, I swear.” You sigh, wondering how you could possibly explain it to him. “Loving you is like,” you paused, trying to catch your thoughts. “It’s like skydiving, ya know? I’m standing on the edge of the airplane, ready to fall. But, Peter, when I look at you everything stops. Suddenly it’s just you and me and instead of falling, I’m flying.” He stares at you for a while, not saying a word and you’re sure doesn’t believe you. You’re seconds away from telling him to forget the whole thing when he comes up to you, grabbing your face gently and pulls you in for a kiss. Your eyes widen in shock as you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around him.

He pulls away, moving his hands to your waist to pull you closer, barely believing this was all real. “You really love me?”

You give him a gentle squeeze, nodding as you snuggle into his chest. “More than anything.”

In that moment, totally wrapped in Peter’s arms, you were soaring.

Tagslist: @rachramblesstuff @parkerpuffwrites

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