#maybe all these days I am just recovering from the shock tbh

[tonya-the-chicken]

I have this feeling like everyone pretends that russo-ukrainian conflict is extremely complex when it's simple as heck while simultaneously pretending israeli-palestinian conflict is extremely simple when it's complex

[wileys-russo]

i have LOTS of questions so i decided to write them all at once (hope you don’t mind)😭

1. where do they go to their first vacation? i can imagine eli being okay with it but how do ale, alba, mapi and ingrid react? i can imagine alba and mapi being like all calm and like “ahh just let them be young and have fun” and alexia and ingrid all stressed out thinking about everything that could go wrong😭

2. not a question but kind of a question? (and also this is more for @girlgenius1111 but since she is recovering from surgery and you will have free time i decided to write to you) but, I need a fic with fresa is looking after scout. like is this happening when fresa and sol still don’t know each other (and mapi just asks fresa to look after scout for sol)? like when they met while mapi was giving fresa the car tattoo? and is sol still incredibly shy when handing over scout? like when they first met? or are they friends already? or maybe even girlfriends? i NEED to know the tea!!

3. do you know the olive theory? like the one that hates olives and the other that loves them so they take them? (in the end both hate olives) is this applicable to sol and fresa (maybe with other foods)??

4 what is their absolute favorite thing to watch together? and similarly do they show each other some cliché Tv shows in spanish/norwegian? (in my country we have a tv show called family affairs and tbh it’s the cringiest thing i have ever seen, and if i ever have a girlfriend this is the first thing i am going to show her because she NEEDS to experience the cringe of other cultures)

5. who is the one to wake up super early and who is to one to go to sleep at an ungodly hour?

6. another question that very much involves @girlgenius1111 but let’s suppose that sol makes up with her mom and wants to meet with her, how does fresa react? is she super protective? is she supportive? is she a mix of both? does she freak out? is she ready to take out box gloves and beat everyone?

7. once again the opinion of the queen herself @girlgenius1111 is needed but how does sol react to finding out that the relationship between fresa and alexia/alba is very stranded? obviously sol likes alexia but she doesn’t know her on a personal level super well, what does she do when she finds out that it’s not as perfect as it seems? that they may have more in common that she initially thought? the same goes for fresa finding out about sol’s relationship with ingrid, like it’s different but in some ways very similar. i suppose both feel very abandoned? how do they get through that?

ok i have even more questions but i need to stop now or i may yap till the end of the day. anyway sorry for such a long ask. feel free to not answer (if i were you i would just ignore this tbh) or “not answering, find out later” is just as acceptable. whatever you feel like tbh!!!

anyway i love this story that you and k! have created together, you both are very special writers and i VERY much appreciate what you do and write, anyway take care and lots of love🍓☀️❤️ (if anything i have written doesn’t make sense i had a bottle of wine and my first language isn’t english😭)

idk if it counts as a vacation but early on into knowing one another but not yet quite dating they go to madrid together alone for a concert! you are absolutely correct lmao alba and mapi help them get their train tickets and drive them to the station, meanwhile alexia and ingrid are too busy stressing they're too young to go alone and they'll wind up kidnapped or something dramatic

K and I were talking about this literally yesterday and trying to work out a timeline for all the blurb ideas we have for Sol and Fres + how it all ties into filling the void and family line! but yes fresa looks after scout for a week (he comes to stay with her and Eli) when Sol goes to Norway with Ingrid and Mapi, but thats after they've been dating for awhile. the first time Fresa meets Scout its before she even realises she likes Sol, but Sol is shocked at how much Scout seems to love Fresa (aka dog whisperer putellas)

they actually both like pickles on burgers but pretend not to when they think the other doesn't, so neither of them end up eating the pickles despite actually having a mutual love for them (same goes for olives)

mmm i don't know a whole lot about tv shows outside of where i'm from but i imagine both Sol and Fres have a mutual love of trashy reality tv shows. specifically the kardashians and any sort of dating show like love island, too hot to handle etc. they both spend the entire time complaining about how awful the show is but also, never miss an episode. they also love to binge true crime dramas together, and Fresa loves medical programs but she knows she can't watch them around Sol because Sol faints at even the slightest sign of blood

Fresa is a morning person (Alexia's influence) and Sol is a night owl!

Fresa is very cautious how she speaks about Sol and Ingrids mum, obviously she knows whats happened and it breaks her heart that anyone could treat such a perfect human like that. but she also knows theres parts of Sol that still love her mum and Fresa doesn't want to go too hard on the 'your mum is such a piece of shit for treating you like that' train and upset her girlfriend. so she lets Sol take the lead in conversations about her mum and is careful how she responds!

By the time Sol and Fresa start to properly interact its after everything has gone down between Fresa and her sisters and they're well on track back to being as close as they used to be. But when Sol first opens up to Fresa about how she ended up in Spain living with her sister and the strains of their relationship early on in her stay, Fresa opens up about her own struggles with that and they bond over it. Fresa is a lot more forthcoming with information but Sol doesn't trust as easily so it takes a little longer for Fresa to really understand the extent of the struggles in her life when she lived in Norway thank you for all of these they really made me (and K) think!! i know some people might think its stupid to go so in depth about creating a life for a made up character but it really is a fun escape and i love creating Fresa's little universe, and its nice to write about a wholesome queer teenage relationship because they get done so dirty in tv shows most of the time! 🍓🍓 @girlgenius1111

[child-of-the-danube]

So this is truly it, huh? Just like that, no more Doom Patrol?

I don't think I can completely explain how I feel about the show as a whole and how much it means to me, but this final episode just left me empty for both good and bad reasons.

WARNING!!! SPOILERS INCOMING!! DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE EPISODE YET!

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The whole Immortus/Butts resolution felt like such a cop-out. Immortus just going "Nah, you know what, I'm fine. Here's your longevity. Oh, and I'm besties with the Butts now. Too-da-loo 🥰" after being presented as their biggest threat ever? Meh

It would have been more cathartic had they somehow defeated Immortus when she was occupied with the Butts and got the longevity thingy off her neck to then run home only to find Rita already dead with Laura frozen with shock/grief beside her. To have them think they managed one more victory but with their biggest loss yet. And for Rita and Laura, the moments before she died could have been used to have a proper conversation and resolution between them. I would have loved if the final scene between them (and with alive non-ghost Rita in general) would have been Laura bringing her the Immortus nail just for Rita to decline cause she's at peace with dying. Even a simple "You're forgiven" would have been enough. And what was the point of telling Laura she's part of the Doom Patrol now to go "Yeah, you should all go your own way now" five minutes after she kicked the bucket???

Vic's ending was expected. It was obvious from the start that he would make it. And I'm glad cause he deserves happiness and to build a future that HE feels is right for him finally.

I'm also delighted Jane (a.k.a just K now) got her happiness both within herself and with Casey. And she's the only one we saw on screen saying goodbye to at least one person properly. Her and Cliff's realtionship was one of my absolute favourite things about the show.

Seems I managed to guess Larry's ending almost exactly. It was so sweet and beautiful. He didn't just return to space with Keeg but Rama as well. Can't lie, I've shed some tears during that scene. And his moment with ghost Rita... 12/10 wouldn't change anything about it

Cliff's ending is my favourite and the one that got me bawling my eyes out. "It's ok. I made it home" Uhm, excuse me?????? How dare the writers break my heart like that???? I am unwell and will need 5-7 business days to recover from it. Poetic, beautiful, amazing, showstopping etc. I love Cliff so fucking much

Dorothy who? Guess she just fell off the Earth after Immortimas

Also, Shelley? Never heard of her. Try looking in the woods when it gets foggy maybe 🤷

I guessed Rita would definitely die too but her whole "Each of you will be better off on your own" turnaround just didn't sit right with me. She's the one that spent her life keeping this little, broken, miserable bunch of just the unluckies motherfuckers known to the world together and managed to create a family that loves and supports eachother to death and THIS is her conclusion?? That they should just disband? Nope, not buying it. I guess it's somehow a way of telling that now the one that held them together, the heart of the show if you will, is gone that it's all done but I feel like that's a an insult to the rest of them and to the strength of their bond. Yes, Rita's insistence brought them together at first, but they've grown and gotten close so much since then even without her interfering in their one-on-one relationships. It just doesn't feel right. I also knew we'd get a Malcolm reunion scene but am I the only one that doesn't really care about him? Tbh, we didn't get to know much about him beside the fact that he was Rita's lover that tragically died. I just can't care about a character I know nothing about. I guess have fun posthumously frolicking in a field, Rita and Malcolm 🤷

So Jane got Casey and her sanity, Larry got Keeg and Rama, Vic got his friends and students, Cliff got see his family, their future and die peacefully beside them, Rita got to reunite with the love of her life in eternity and Laura got to, uhm, *checks notes*, play with a flamethrower? Like, ok, I do dig that she got to destroy the place that ruined her whole life guns a-blazing but what exactly does she get to do later on? The ones who remained alive all got someone to share their new found joy with, a proper plan for the future, they're at peace. Laura didn't get to neither truly reconcile with Rita, nor the Sisterhood, and now the only people she felt close to either died or went their own way without a true goodbye. What, pray tell, does her future look like beside, once again, loneliness and grief???? I fucking hated her ending. Give us a Laura de Mille spin-off, you cowards. Make it right...

[chussyracing]

what is happening in the world of motorsports?

Williams confirmed they will send Alex's (technically Logan's) chassis damaged in Japan back to their UK factory before China to repair it (so they will both have repaired ones) and their destructor championship cost is already around 2m for this year (that means up to one or two upgrade packages in F1 numbers)

Ralph Schumacher is trying to stir the pot as per usual because he said that Logan Sargeant doesn't have a contract for the full year and he gets contract for each GP individually meaning he could be replaced for any GP from now on (I call BS)

Rumouredly, Mercedes is looking into a possibility of hiring Pierre Waché from RBR

Also, a rumour slash insider info from my comm (maybe others knew but I am kinda shocked): a lot of teams are surprised by the tyres this year from one race to another because apparently Pirelli mixes them a bit more than just for every reason, but the features are different for every race basically (so although Bahrain and Japan had the same allegation of tyres, it's not just the weather conditions and track surface why they act differently)

Marko Helmut spoke to OE24 (Austrian journal) and mentioned that they are ready to give Checo Perez a new contract after they saw his results because he is their best option for the second seat and Checo himself said he expects a lot of contracts being announced in upcoming weeks, including his own future which should be settled within a month

NXT GEN Cup won't be supporting Formula E at all this season due to "unexpected constraints" although it was supposed to support all European races, and they already tested at Misano World Circuit (FE spokesperson also says they want to raise young talents through FIA Girls on Track and other positive initiatives)

Misano will also feature a 30 mins FE rookie test on Friday with some familiar faces like Zane Maloney, Robert Shwartzman, Ciao Collet, Taylor Barnard, Tim Tramnitz, Jack Aitken or Jordan King

Lewis reportedly walked out of an interview after a reporter asked if he was jealous of Ferrari's results, saying "don't you have any better questions?" (go off tbh)

Speaking of Lewis, am I the last person to learn he has his own TV and movie production company, Dawn Apollo Films?

Peter Kenyon, who previously worked in Manchester United and Chelsea, is joining Williams as a commercial advisor

Regarding Carlos still being jobless, Eddie Jordan believes he is going to Aston Martin starting 2025 (but has "no real hardcore evidence") and racingnews365 reported that Audi (and Seidl who already worked with Carlos) are interested in him but want to lock drivers for their 2026 in 2025 already so they gave him a deadline to give his final answer by the end of April on their deal and Helmut Marko said they have no interest in the market right now and you won't hear from them till mid-season at least concerning new drivers or personnel

Lewis is looking into the possibility of testing the monocoque of Ferrari at the end of this year but "doesn't know if Mercedes will allow him"

Katherine Legge will race Indy 500 for e.l.f. cosmetics brand with number 51

Heikki Kovalainen, who underwent a heart surgery, says that he might fully recover thanks to a fast intervention from the doctors

Fernando was asked if he will try to get the Mercedes seat and joked that he is not interested in a team that is behind them in pace, so Toto won't hear from him any time soon

after some F1 tests and current results, Kimi Antonelli now has enough points to drive in F1 with superlicence but since he is still 17, he has to wait to be of age

RB and Sauber are testing in Suzuka these days for the 2025 Pirelli tyres testing (so both dry and wet condition tyres)

speaking of the future of F1, some rumours leaked about the 2026 regulations and it doesn't look good, because to simplify it, the active aero on the rear wing in combo with the engine on full power makes drivers spin out on straights or in the mildest of turns in simulations with a test car - and to avoid it they have to drive slowly to the point of going slower than the current regulation of F2 cars; there are also some concerns about the 50/50 split engine (the problem is it is too late to change the 2026 regs so what they will try now is to make the active aero on both front and rear wing and see how it goes)

like they teased previously and like rumours suggested, Prema is joining Indycar with two entries starting with 2025 season

René Lammers (15 years old Dutch f4 driver) won Ferrari's scouting camp and 2023 CIK-FIA European championship and his father Jan Lammers now told GPFans that his son was offered a 10 year deal from Ferrari but they decided to refuse although it looked promising at first so he will stay non-related to any F1 team and continue with MP Motorsport in Spanish F4

Max spoke about F1 Academy and especially the competitiveness, the ladder to F1 and the impact of F1 teams and I have a lot of mixed thoughts I won't share here but I'm willing to discuss if anyone is interested

apparently during Lewis' talks with Ferrari, he completely omitted his current manager, so he saved money and got the deal for himself (but also this comes from a Czech source that is not super reliable)

also in GQ Lewis said that Niki Lauda wasn't happy with his ventures into the fashion world at first because he thought it would be distracting him from racing

Theo Pourchaire will be on "standby" for McLaren's Indycar car number 6 for the next race (because David Malukas got injured and they are not sure if he will be good to race and because Callum Ilott who is on standy has WEC duties that weekend)

British American Tobacco (BAT) renewed sponsorship of McLaren - they began sponsoring them in 2019 but European Union banned the advertisement of tobacco, now they will advertise electronic cigarettes and nicotine pouch products on both F1 and FE cars

[prettynhot]

12.01.2024 Fri the start of something? maybe?

2024 has been an amazing year so far! with the whole discovereu thing and the overall feeling,i’ve been doing good mentally! i feel and know that 2024 is going to be great!

i watched a vid yesterday about how our habits create our identity which goes hand to hand with our present moment. the girl on the vid was talking about the people who say “oh i used to be so skinny yet i thought i was fat, i was so skinny back then wish i knew!” she was making an analogy about how theres no end to a downfall. just goes and goes and goes until you decide to take things up a bunch of notches.

so i want to.

i love me,i love the girl i am,i love everything about me but not fulfilling my potential makes me feel unplesant.so i geniunely want to change. i’ll see how that goes. but i want to treat myself like a loved one again.

theres not so much ive achieved academically though yet.the reason for that is me. no bs. its me who didnt study hard and as much as i shouldve did and fell of my tracks. thats my fault and i know. just as i messed up though,i know im capable of getting everything back together as they were and maybe even better.with the whole huge exam thing i felt like i needed to push n push myself, not to care for myself and such. i thought that was the way it had to be.but no its simply not. im okay as i am. i have time. i have time for this and i have time for that. im good and on time.

lovin and caring for me has been a long journey and am not willing to give up just yet.

on that note and to take an action, i started getting help from one of my teachers. hes been great for this little time. i know thisll help me so much academically.

one other thing about that is the fact i have developed a crush on him.

and i know.

okay

i know!

but it was inevitable eventually.

hes a good and young looking man,who is quite fit and tall,knows how to dress, incredibly intelligent,mean to everyone else but me.

it was inevitable.okay.

i couldnt help but melt at all those times he made a joke and looked at me first to see if i was laughing,looked at me the most while teaching,always protecting me from other students.

plus considering all the di i have and my little tc history before,its not shocking. however i cant say that im not disappointed in myself a little. i thought my tc era had fully ended n i was recovered,healed,past that.appearently not. it does feel like going back a bit,like i’ve came back to an old self which shouldve been far far behind. however im not judging me cuz i know i had every single reason to and tbh,having a crush is very very fun. but anyway! theres that.

and actually,for some time i had noticed the little signs of me developing a crush,but i tried to ignore them signs and push them back time n time again,however they didnt magically disappear as i truly hoped they would.

and one other thing about all this is, after i realized i seriously had a crush on this man, before i started taking special academical help from him,it showed up in my behavior. and yes obviously thats very immature and childish for an 18yo. i know. im supposed to be an adult now and here i am going to my teachers office asking him “why are you working in the dark?would you like me to turn on the lights for you?” OUT OF NOWHERE.🤦🏻‍♀️ EMBARASSING UGHHH. i dont know what came over me truly. guess i want just behaving instinctively. but that was a dead giveaway from me and it sucked. he literally laughed when i did that💀cuz even he thought that was certainly absurd💀very embarassed.done with this.

anyway,ever since then i did have some little moments of instinctive behaving which were little giveaways. since then he has not been acting the same, which was what i loved the most,him being mean to everyone but very soft on me.

ever since these incidents, he has been incredibly mean to me. to a point where i was just about to cry once.

that one day i was about to cry,the one he really hurt me,he was dropping me off at my house since it was quite late. and it’s actually a nbd because he always drops students off and im always at seated at the back,for everything to be appropriate. yk,teacher student boundaries etc.whatever that means.

anyway he was quite chatty despite playing on me n being mean to me the whole time of both his classes but i was actually hurt. i had to keep myself from bursting tears in front of the whole class so i focused on my breathing n posture in order to not cry. and i did not since i made great efforts.but i couldnt help but feel like clown since i had dressed prettily,done my make up prettily just for him to maybe look at me more. notice me more. for him to be even nicer to me.i just wanted to be pretty for him to look at okay. i liked his validation i still do. so maybe i wanted that more i genuinely dont know. now writing all this maybe(probably) i was desperate n it showed. whatever the case maybe he was too mean. wayy too mean. yet still on the way home,he’s on his best behavior trying to talk to me,while we are alone in the car. he asks me questions about class,i answer them as they are.he did notice i was upset. he asked me about it. i told him nothing happened. he kept asking and asking. finally i told him how he hurt me so much during class. to this he got on full defensive mode, explaining himself quite ambitiously yet somehow mainting to stay relaxed and being able to laugh. going on about how teachers could be hurt from students but students cant from teachers and how just messing with students was the only thing he liked about being a teacher and i was trying to take that away from him?

honestly? bullshit to me. after he was done i explained i wasnt mad, i wasnt acting weird towards him or anything like that and i wasnt accusing him,i was just telling him how i felt upset by his behavior. to that he stayed silent for a while. then went on to say that i should focus on my studies no matter what and shouldnt care about what he says that much. then i told him we’ll see about that, thanking him while getting out of car.

and that day i had actually promised i’d go to see him for an academic review the day after but i decided not to go because i had a far more important thing to do.

today we had a class together.i intentially did nearly no make up,dressed slightly below average and avoided eye contact as much as i could, just cuz tomorrow ill go all out,so i wanted to create that contrast. im not trying seduce him nor am i willing to date him in any way, i just like his attention very much and i like the feeling of “winning someone over”. so i will. i believe in no time he’ll be doing his best to not like me so much. hes a strong minded man of principle so i know he certainly wont even get close to passing any lines in the teacher-student relationship,however id like to see him struggle :)

so thats all about him and my little crushing.

after im done writing this,i’ll get back to my house and study for tomorrows big big exam n pick out my outfit n make up for that day. then making myself some hot milk foamed coffee and resting is also in my plans.

thats all i can say for today. my friends didnt come to attend any classes tdy so i dont have any updates on that part,other than one of my friends texting me they have ripped the blouse they borrowed from me n could repurchase the same thing ‘if i’d like them to’ 🙂 obvi i said that wasn’t necessary because i know she wouldnt be able to get her finances right to afford that but im still upset because that blouse made me body look incredibly amazing:( but it’s okay ig.

well:)

all for now. see you tomorrow? ;)

[ninepentz]

*CASE SOLVED*

Update at the bottom

Angus cloud passes away July 31st, 2023.

Unfortunately and unexpectedly, we have found out that this man was unresponsive at around 11:30 am today from a possible overdose. It was just a week after his father had also passed. There are reports that he had been struggling with mental health and suicidal thoughts recently.

I'm curious what happened and what astrological events could have triggered this, so let's take a look at his natal + day of chart. Hopefully it can give us some more insight into what exactly was going on with angus leading up to his death. I wasn't a huge fan or anything but for some reason this tragic event interested me and so here I am following my instincts. I didn't even know anything like this was going on with him so tbh I was shocked to hear about this.. enough about that though let's get into this reading.

First chart is Angus clouds and the chart below that is the day of death chart. For the 2nd photo, in the 'list of aspects section' we have todays transits this side👈 Angus natal this side👉.

We don't have a time of birth for Angus so we will ignore whatever is aspecting his MC, NN, Asc. This also makes this chart reading a little less specific since I have limited information. But we will do what we can.

Sun transit opposing Angus natal moon, uranus, neptune:

This tells me that he was feeling somewhat exposed, uncomfortable, reminded of something from his past with the sun opposing the moon. Every time I have a transit from sun-moon it is rough, I must say. It's like you feel embarrassed, ashamed, too visible.. it's as if someone tore down your home and all that was left is you standing their in what used to be your privacy/safe space. Your ego is somewhat hit with this sun transit and the moon is our deep inner, habitual self.

It could be also straight forward and be describing his relationship with his father (sun) and the memories that it's bringing up (moon), since his father passed.

His natal uranus is transiting into the 5th house, to me the 5th house represents our childhood, who we were as children, our inner child/creativity, what we do for fun and much more than that which you can look up in the link below.

But this could explain that angus fathers death really shocked him and came out of no where. This could explain that an unexpected shift of events caused him to go back to his past, childhood, the family and their pasts. At the time of his death he had been staying at his childhood home trying to recover from his dad's passing so, you can probably imagine all the memories that come with being back where you 1st started in your old neighborhood, your old bedroom, every item that was left over from your past. Such as, old toys, old personal items/notebooks/clothing/treasured things, his father's belongings and what he left behind in this world. You start to see the world very differently when someone you were really close too, who you have so many memories with, who you hugged, loved, and spoke to all of a sudden is just gone forever. Thankfully I don't know that feeling yet but just imagining it is brutal. So that's what I think the 5th house could be relating to in this situation. It was an event that causes him to think/face something unexpected from his past.

Sun opposite neptune, he was struggling bad with this transit to the point where he was unable to see things clearly. He may have been doing a lot of drugs to cope with this, addictions, confusion, lack of boundaries, blurred lines bubbling up. This transit in general would describe someone who's confused or unclear about their own identity. As if they don't fully understand who they are as a person or that they even exsist sometimes. They don't have a strong sense of self, just lost and kinda isolated. Maybe his dad was a strong figure in his life who provided him some kind of stability and was a grounding presence in his life.. so this situation made him feel as if he lost that. Also I think that this transit could describe someone being unaware of their ego self, so maybe angus was being a bit reckless and making bad decisions.. he wasn't in his right mind and if he was in a better space he wouldn't have wanted this outcome. It was as if his triggers were coming out and he couldn't control them, something triggered him to do drugs, something triggered him to regress back to an unhealthy version of himself.

I didn't find any information about his father's cause of death but will update when I do

Chiron transit square natal sun:

I think maybe he had been feeling like he wasn't doing enough to put himself our there and fulfill his potential. He was ambitious but for some reason something was getting in the way, making him feel weak, discouraged, sad.

Natal saturn transiting into the 8th house:

This tells me his process of death may have been slow and over time..he may have also became intoxicated to the point of paralysis in a way. It's like his body just stopped, he couldn't move his arms, legs, nothing, as if he was trapped in his own body. I'm curious what he overdosed on but we will have to wait until the autopsy results come back if they ever do.

Natal pluto transitting into the 3rd house:

This one is big on being known for a period of time when ones siblings could potentially pass away.

Everyone was saying how deeply he was impacted by his father's passing and their astrology is definitely showing that too.

Transit moon opposing Angus natal sun:

Like my other interpretation of sun opp moon above, this aspect will have the same meaning. I feel like he didn't want to be reminded of his past. Maybe he was feeling hostile with his other family members or it's possible that he had some kind of guilt of something to do with his family. I wonder if tensions were high around the home. I'm getting the sense that it was also something more than just his father's passing that was causing him pain.

So I went to his IG to find out a little more info about him bc honestly I know nothing. Well I found this video he posted on his page, in the link below and it's a song by someone speaking about the people they lost in their life and how they said and did things to them that made them feel selfish and regretful. If you listen to the song it'll explain it better but that was just the gist of it.

That's crazy to me.. he def felt that way about his own dad, it was posted the same day he made another IG post dedicated to him saying "miss u breh"

North node transit square natal moon:

You know what's interesting to me is the moon in astrology is deeper than just our emotions and comfort zone. It is our habits that we have learned from childhood, it's how we were raised, it shows who someone is at their core. Their habits, their manners, their reactions, the way they show up in the world and interact with others. Heavily moon dominant people will have very distinct personalities and it's a similar thing with venus too just in different ways

What I'm getting from this aspect is that angus probably felt a little alienated in a way, from what I know, seen and heard of about his character was that he always spoke his mind no matter how blunt it was. I remember a video going around of the time euphoria was really popular and I guess fans were going crazy about him and he just told them they shouldn't be so invested in celebrities and focus on their own life. I couldnt find the video, but it was something like that, and my 1st impression was that he was a little rude/judgy for that but nothing too crazy. I guess based on his personality maybe he felt too real for the world, like he didn't put on a front like everyone else does in his industry especially.

It would he easy to feel like an outsider around people like that. The moon is our roots and the opposite from that would be saturn which is who we are when we refine ourselves and become more responsible and mature. Maybe he felt that he was unrefined and not responsible, he just didn't have that same "home" training that it seemed like his peers had. He was different forsure, I was watching some interviews of his, like on the red carpet and the way he spoke to the people interviewing him was just wow, a very unfiltered person he was. I say all this just to emphasize the way that he felt so different from others, moon-NN would be that the moon person feels too raw for the world, too honest to be relatable to everyone else. To fit in you would have to stay on top of every trend and try to be someone others can familiarize themselves with, if you don't do that you are somewhat of an outcast. Maybe he felt this way, he was just too far gone to fix his reputation.

Another thing that happens at his age is we start to become more conscious and mentally developed..personally I know that after 25-26 I was realizing my place in the world, how my actions affected others. Bc before that age you are just a reckless/thoughtless/impulsive teen in a way with an under developed frontal lobe. Hope that makes sense. I can definitely see that reality hitting him.. especially when you are trying to succeed but it seems like no one relates to you and you're not as interesting as you may of once thought.

AS transit square natal sun:

Maybe he was unhappy with the impression people had of him, someone was saying that his character in euphoria is not far from who he actually is irl. So maybe he was feeling too exposed with the sun here and he was kind of a private person who didn't want people to know his personal things.

Neptune conjunct his natal jupiter:

I feel like he was definitely mixing different drugs up with this aspect. Neptune-jupiter aspects are messy, too much going on at once bc both of those planets are about expansion/versatility in different ways. Neptune would be drugs, addictions, confusion, jupiter would be magnifying all those qualities and causing someone to overdo those things. This is common aspect for infections too imo or even foreign substances in however that applies.

Above are the house transits at the time he was reported unresponsive, 11:30am.

Jupiter conjunct uranus in the 8th:

Whatever it was he was doing caused a shock to his system, like a foreign substance or maybe just an overload of it caused his body to do things that didn't make sense. I wish I knew what kind of drugs he was taking but at this time all I know is that he may have overdosed on prescription drugs.

**UPDATE CAUSE OF DEATH CONFIRMED**

09/21/23:

I was curious what could happen to our bodies if we take things like fentanyl and meth at the same time so here's an article I found if you're curious too. Apparently one of them is an upper (high energy drug) while the other is a downer (calming drug) and people often mix uppers with downers to achieve the perfect high. It can send the body mixed signals/confuse the brain, leading to overdose.

So most of this post was written before we had a confirmed cause of death, but as I'm reading it all, it's pretty accurate. Crazy, I had this post hidden bc I was unsure of my own interpretations, and I was feeling a bit unfocused. But thankfully now we have closure on this unfortunate situation.

For now this is what I have and as always, expect to see more updates on this post when I have more information so please check back for those. Thank you for reading if you've gotten this far 🙏

NOTE TO SELF: ADD FULL 'DAY OF' TRANSITS/HOUSES. Need to know what houses everything was in at the time of death to get a fuller picture.

RIP ANGUS CLOUD. You are now in a better place away from all your troubles. I hope you are happy to be free of that burden..

✨️Nine of Pentacles✨️

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[loyally-unfaithful]

domestic life hc—zhongli

word count: 3k

pairing: zhongli/gn!reader

genre: fluff

a/n: ok, listen. i am so sorry to whoever requested this i bet theyre not even here anymore aaaaaaaaaaaaa 

this took uh, longer, than i planned because i wrote it down, got it halfway finished, and then my laptop memory card shat itself and everything was gone so i fell into a deep depression because all my unfinished wips huhuhuhuhu after sulking some more, i finally decided to move my ass and actually just, rewrite this pensivecat 

p.s. if by some magic the original requester is here… i hope this is ok… (even if i deviated from the og prompt...)

who kisses the other on the nose and the one receiving the kiss blushes?

you??

you want to leave a kiss on his nose??

man good luck he’s tall as fuck lmaooo zhongli is so tall, and for what?

someone get reader a step ladder.

ok on a more serious note: for some reason or another, you wanted to give just an small peck,,, on his nose,, pls

just want to fuck around and find out, your teasing streak coming through.

you wonder what his reaction would be: would he stare blankly at you, bemused? would you get to see his expression shift into slight surprise, pink dusting his cheek?

you just wanted to know.

zhongli would see you scamper hurriedly over to him, trying and failing to hide your bubbling excitement. you were just curious, is all. his eyes would light up, delighted to have you by his side once again.

with an easy smile, he’d bow slightly, as he usually did, so that you may reach him and capture his lips with your own.

but instead of what he had initially expected, you brushed your lips against his nose instead.

the man would recoil slightly, unnoticeable if you weren’t standing so close, and simply… blinked, vaguely puzzled. what was that? what did it mean?

he’s looking at you all wide-eyed and shocked while you feel a grin forming on your face.

you savoured your small victory, managing to stump the usually erudite man.

but your victory shall be short-lived.

having recovered, zhongli would mirror your affectionate gesture, testing the waters—this in turn made you freeze up, while warmth quickly spread to your face. talk about melt elemental reaction.

he would be amused by your response and that’s when you know you’re fucked.

how the turn tables. this man is ruthless.

you’re endeared, and your heart feels all fuzzy, but you’re also lowkey fuming because this was supposed to be your stunt.

after deciding that you’ve been sufficiently teased, he kinda feels bad and makes it up with a proper kiss on the lips.

funny how all your angst melts away just like that huh.

who sits on their partner’s lap as they wrap their arms around their partners neck?

on a day to day basis, i don’t see him initiating or offering/suggesting that you sit on his lap that often?

but? if you wanted to?? he wouldn’t be opposed to it.

he’s more than happy to wrap his arms around you and hold you close.

like?? he just loves you mk.

if you asked him, he’ll indulge you.

he doubts he’d make the most comfortable chair out there, but if you want to be near him?? he’s not gonna shoot that idea down because damb he also wants to be near u.

tho maybe not in public cuz 1) he wants to maintain some sense of decorum and 2) he finds that more intimate exchanges should be kept private.

i just don’t see him as someone who’s overly fond or keen on pda beyond like, hand holding and maybe a chaste kiss.

tbh if there wasn’t any place left for you to sit (in public), then he’d probably go get another chair or let you take his or something.

what a gentleman :”)

but yes, in private, he’ll let you drape over him. he’s a dragon anyway, he’s cold blooded and you’re a living heat pad who happens to be someone he’s fond of. win win!

and honestly i feel,

not to be a little bit halu on main, but,

i mean,

you’re right there, melting at every little touch.

you had your fun, now it’s his turn.

he’d trail kisses down your jaw and over your neck. nipping the soft skin at the juncture of your neck.

and you’d let him indulge, for who are you to deny a god from what he wants to take?

you’d wrap your arm around his neck, pulling, urging, him closer.

showing praise with your body, singing your prayers.

who kisses the inside of their partner’s palm before reassuring them everything is going to be okay?

now as far as you know, being a consultant at a funeral parlour didn’t involve any shady business… but you can never be too sure. call it a gut feeling i guess.

whenever he reassures you, whenever he softly plants a kiss on your palm, it’s often with closed eyes and with a gentle, shaking reverence that you never found yourself worthy of—and certainly not of a god.

but here he was, committing such an act and it makes it so absolutely, undeniably clear that he cherished you—valued, treasured, what the two of you have.

if words are fallible, then showing his devotion in this manner would leave no place for doubts: whatever you were worried about, he could deal with; the two of you would be able to surmount this together.

zhongli makes sure to wash all your fears away with gentle and tender displays of affection.

generally, he’d like to be as open and honest as possible with you, as it was only right. but some things cannot be divulged, due to contracts and stipulations, and so he would make it up in some other way.

and if there ever came a time when he needed you, you wouldn’t hesitate to lavish him in kisses of your own; affection that never ceased to make his heart flutter.

who initiates the forehead touch™?

sometimes, when the evenings were particularly quiet, and the draft cold enough that leaving the window open was no longer such a great idea, he may isolate himself in his office.

you would find him in utter silence and lost in thoughts, the atmosphere heavy and marked by a palpable melancholy.

it was hard not to reminisce, especially if you had lived as long as he had, and you knew that history weighed heavy on his mind.

hard not to wonder about the what-ifs and if-onlys.

oftentimes, the only way to get his attention back was to gently press your forehead against his whilst murmuring comforting words.

snapped out from his musings, he’d peer at you with an apologetic smile. he truly does not mean to worry you, but he appreciates the reassurance nonetheless, and promises to be more communicative in the future.

he’d allow himself to lean more against your touch, and it’s during these quiet moments that he allows himself to shed his usually stoic mask to reveal the sentimental and doleful man underneath.

in this display of trust, no matter how bittersweet it truly was, you offer him your unwavering attention and unconditional acceptance.

it’s during moments like these that he’s most grateful to have you stand by him, and he hopes it will remain this way for many years to come.

where do they first say “I love you”?

i feel like. it began as a culmination of many small little things.

the way you spoke to him, like he was just another person, no special treatment and without strings attached.

you carried yourself with a certain assurance, an air of openness: like someone who just wanted to get to know him better, not like the haughty scholars and coy pundits who simply saw him as a means to further their name. somehow, when around you, he dared to reveal more of himself.

you bared yourself to him, and he will return your efforts fully.

you were someone who could be pleased with the little things, and it made every moment together something that could be cherished.

you did not seek him out of prestige; rather, you were simply looking for a friend. someone to talk to.

you’d listen attentively to his ramblings, you’d try to involve yourself with his hobbies. and for you, he’d do the same.

it was dangerous to fall for a mortal; it had occurred to him one late evening.

the two of you were in the living room, sharing the same sofa, sitting close to one another. you were talking, debating, about everything and anything. you were recounting tales and stories from your hometown, animatedly telling zhongli about your culture, and he would reminisce about his past, about the world.

hours passed by as if they were mere moments, and he realised how important you were to him and how content he would feel in your presence.

it was dangerous as the time granted to you was finite, and there will come a time where you would be with him no longer.

there will come a time where you would no longer be there to happily talk the night away with him.

but he realises that it didn’t matter.

zhongli would rather spend time with you, no matter how limited it may be, than not at all. than turning away from you.

the basis for every contract is equivalent exchange.

so for a little bit of your time, he offers you his devotion and companionship.

« i love you. »

let this confession seal the contract that binds the two of you together.

who wraps their arms around their partner who’s cooking?

lmao if he's cooking i hope you brought your patience with u and you already ate

cuz like,

man takes slow and steady too literally, and will cook something to perfection but within 6 hours or something.

and eating out ends in disaster because no matter how often you do it, he never seems to remember to bring mora. or when he does, he doesn't bring enough or gets confused partway through the transaction.

ok but in all seriousness, even if he takes 6 hours to make something, it’ll absolutely be worth the wait because he knows long-forgotten and lost techniques that elevate modern flavours and dishes, and he knows where to get the freshest and most exquisite ingredients.

not to mention his palate is just next level.

masterchef liyue moment 🤩

that, and he probably knows about recipes and cuisines from civilisations past, and if there’s something he thinks you may be fond of, he’ll make it for you :)

and if you have quite the adventurous palate and you wanna try everything in his arsenal? he’s more than pleased to indulge you in your taste-testing journey.

he doesn’t mind having you help him around, but he’s also content if you just wrap your arms around him while he works his magic :)

your presence is help enough.

he’ll tell you what he’s planning to make, what it’ll look like and the flavours he would like to achieve. he’ll explain what each ingredient is for and attach little anecdotes as he goes along and works.

him working in the kitchen would be quite an experience to watch tbh. the way he’s so organised, the way he handles knives and fillet different proteins, the way he plates, making dishes look stunning without being over-garnished, is just so mesmerising. he makes extremely complex dishes look effortless.

in general, it’s like you’re watching a cooking programme or following a cooking class since zhongli will be narrating every step of the way. in that perfect voice of his that’s like warm caramel, patient and steady.

on the other hand, he’d be more than happy to let you cook and to taste your cooking, especially if you’re making recipes that were passed down in your family or cuisine from your home country.

overall i think he'd be quite intrigued by more modern cooking and foreign cuisine, and i feel like zhongli wouldn’t turn a nose at most food cuz he wants to experience everything the world has to offer (unless the world is offering seafood in which case he’s waving the white flag).

who breaks out the first aid kit when the other gets a paper cut?

he's got a cure for everything bro

because he is the god of history and he knows about every trick in the book that can make u feel better instantly.

but also, the asian™ experience is just, whenever you’re hurt, u have the special ointment, cream, salve thing. we do not question what is in the bottle or jar. we simply trust that it works.

and zhongli will not hesitate to bust the vial out.

he doesn't like seeing u hurt ok :( so as soon as he sees you are injured, he is there v v quickly.

asap

he fusses and frets over you, and you have to reassure him that despite being a mortal it doesn't mean that you were made of porcelain. you could handle a few nicks and cuts here and there.

but he is having none of it >:(

but if he gets hurt?? and you fuss over him?? he'd be a little confused because he's not human u don’t need to be worried??

but also he feels rlly warm inside because omg someone cares for him?

he’s never been treated with such care and fondness and it makes him go all soft.

once u finish patching him up u can catch him still smiling reverently to himself, eyes remaining where the two of you were connected, before he thanks you, pressing a kiss to ur forehead.

who cuddles up to the other?

u can’t help it mk

u just feel so safe in his arms that any chance you get, you try to get as physically close to him as possible.

he finds it cute when u do tho so he lets you do as you please, and settle comfortably in his arms.

and again, you’re just a mobile heat pad for this cold blooded centuries-old lizard, so he’s quite happy to have you in his arms.

but also, i like to imagine that he also unconsciously snuggles up to you when he’s idle. it’s part of the reptile brain that wants warmth, but also he likes being

with you too :)

like when he’s reading, or sitting on the same sofa as you and going on tangents, he has the habit of kinda, scooting closer to you and leans more of his weight on you. he’d press his body closer to you without realising, or lean closer to you so you can read with him, and you’re more than delighted to welcome the touch.

or in public, when he gets invited to events and teas where he was allowed to bring you with him, he’d hover close to you. your arms would bump against each other quite often, and he’d brush his hand against your skin, leaving a trail of goosebump in their wake.

if you pointed his habit out to him, he’d probably be clueless cause he didn’t realise he had been doing it this whole time!

he’d apologise to you but!!!! you tell him it’s alright, and that he doesn’t have to say sorry because u like it :)

who falls asleep on who? what is their reaction when the other falls asleep on them?

he doesn’t technically need to sleep? but it’s all part of immersing himself in the whole “being human” thing so he engages in the act.

he’s an old man tho so if he’s not being kept up by work, then he probably sticks to a very strict schedule (sleeps at 10 wakes up at 5 lmaooooo).

you’re here like bruhhh who tf sleeps at 10 pm tho??? last time u slept at 10 pm u were in elementary school.

but just for u he’ll stay up late ok <3

he doesn’t mind it if it means spending more time with you :)

you’re thrilled, but also his asmr voice just conks you out instantly—it’s not that what he talks about is boring (sometimes it does feel like a college lecture tho), zhongli's voice is just so soothing and lulls you to sleep.

it’s like a warm blanket on a rainy day.

i think, stumbling on him being asleep could go either way. he’s not an ultra-light sleeper, but if you move around too much or make enough noise, he’ll slowly wake up. slowly because he’s at home and with you, so he feels safe and doesn’t feel the need to jump up in high alert.

though he might be a slightly heavier sleeper during the colder months, because cold blooded creatures generally hibernate when the temperature drops too much. so he’s a lil bit more sluggish or groggy in the comfort of his home.

when he’s like that, he’s usually bundled up in bed, an opened book on the bed table or, on the rare occasion his drowsiness snuck up on him, splayed on the floor.

during those times, you can quietly sneak in bed and join him under the covers. he might wake up, but he’d be much easier to persuade back to sleep. especially since his favourite source of warmth is here.

who likes to be held and who likes to hold?

being held by zhongli is just??? the best thing ever ??? like sorry i don’t make the rules but feeling those strong firm arms wrapped protectively around you? burying your face in his shoulder, breathing in the scent of petrichor and dusk mist and something unmistakably him???

best !

where is my government allotted zhongli ??? >:((

he likes to leave lingering kisses whenever he’s holding you—he’d let his lips linger on your forehead before nuzzling against you, maybe resting his head on yours.

i feel like zhongli would like to hold as much as he’s held.

at first, he would be inclined to be the one to hold you. after all, he has been hailed as a protector for many centuries. and even if he is no longer a nation’s archon, he still wants to protect the person he cares for.

but after some time, he comes to realise that he likes being held by you just as much.

after so many years of isolating himself from the public, from others, from kindness, he has grown to become more than a little bit touch-starved. and it wasn’t

until he met you that he realised how much he had missed out on.

he enjoys being cherished, and if you took the time to take him in your arms and let him know that you were there for him? that you were looking out for him and that you loved him too? zhongli will be very contented and at ease.

yes, he knew that whatever existence he had maintained was a lonely one.

his past only seemed to grow colder the longer he stayed in your warmth.

but he tries not to linger on the past too much, now that he’s here with you.

LIKE MY WORK? CONSIDER BUYING ME A COFFEE // CHECKING OUT MY MASTERLIST | LINKS CAN BE FOUND ON MY DESC

[4dtk]

NCT 127: finding out you're older than them

“Hey, can I request an NCT127 reaction to finding out you're actually older than them when they thought you were much younger than them? (like you look really young despite your age lol)” thank u for waiting honey <3 ps i just used random years that are older than the members!

enjoy! this was fun to write ^^

→ TAEIL would have his mouth in an ‘O’, but more of a ‘ooh cool!’ way where he’s nodding repeatedly to nothing seconds after you’ve spilled the beans. it sinks in more later when he thinks of your birth years side by side and he’s like omg! i’m finally not the oldest and it garners a laugh out of you that you don’t mind being called old by him. honestly, you don’t mind being called old at all by the other members, since technically you are taeil’s s/o. the members are closer to the male, so when they call him old, you join in lol

“woah hyung/noona! i can’t believe you now take the place of oldest in our group,” mark says, although gets a smack from haechan for saying that.

“ack! sorry taeil-hyung and (y/n)-hyung/(y/n)-noona, mark’s mouth is a little big today.”

taeil waves it off, curling an arm around your waist to bring you closer as mark avoids eye contact. slowly the members crowd around the four of you, interested in the topic that’s taking place. it was well over 11pm in the practice room, and having just ended dance practice, they cooled down by taking part in the conversation.

“yeah! you finally can call someone else old!” another smack and a whine from mark accompanied by an apologetic look that wasn’t seen often on donghyuck.

“i’m sorry for them,” taeil whispers with a laugh, placing a kiss onto your cheek before taking a swig of water from his bottle. he takes your shaking head as acceptance of your new position of the oldest, pleased when you return his kiss with one to his lips.

→ JOHNNY is the one to pull a dramatic face lol. you know the one where his mouth is in a ‘O’ and his eyebrows are knitted. the expression is playful, but there’s a bit of genuine shock behind it. recovers from it quickly tho and jokingly calls you ‘daddy/mommy’ to annoy you. i can see him calling you the term later if you get married or have kids though, just in a third person kinda way - something like a running joke from when he discovered you were older years ago.

“no way, you’re born in 1992?” his jaw is dropped, eyes wide that makes you smile just a little, “holy shit you’re old,” there’s a fit of laughter when your hand lands on his back as a form of retaliation (“like you’re not!”), but you agree either way, shrugging nonchalantly at the year of birth.

“then maybe now i can call you daddy/mommy,” you groan at that, shoving him for real now as he lands on the sofa behind him and doyoung at the dining table contemplates whether he should interfere. he decides not to when you full on attack your boyfriend, although with half-assed punches as johnny continues to moan out theatrically in between attacks, “but for real though, next time, i wanna hear voices calling you.”

“the fuck? you mean in like a horror movie way?”

“nah, in the i wanna have a family way.” you gulp with a surprised expression and you launch a badly timed attack that hits him in the balls. you’re apologising with a fluster, johnny is groaning in pain. oh well, this could be story to tell your kids or adopted babies next time.

→ TAEYONG is making surprised noises. it’s so cute lol that you’re the one ending up teasing him about it. taeyong forgets it sometimes, so you have the pleasure of seeing him react like a couple of times bc it finally settles in his mind that you’re older than him. other than that, yong loves you all the same and sometimes acts like a baby just so you’d cave and take care of him. he argues that it’s only the right way! older s/o? you take care of me! i want to be babied.

“huh? you’re older than me?” taeyong asks, mindlessly digging through your stuff until he comes across your ID. he curiously sifts through the information on it, but the number of your birth year seemed to stand out the most.

you hum, placing the last bits of your mask on yourself as you turn back to your boyfriend with a similar look: hair band pushing his dyed hair back, with a mask like yours on his face.

a noise of approval spills from taeyong’s mouth, and you’re left giggling in confusion until he explains his reason for it. you nod through it, happy to give your boyfriend what he wants while he takes his place in your arms. “feels nice,” taeyong mumbles, loving the way you’re playing with his fingers before he asks a question with a small voice. “can we do this more often?”

“of course,” and now you’re glad for taeyong’s curiosity of your things, presenting you with the opportunity (and excuse) to hold your lover in your arms.

→ YUTA doesn’t care either tbh. he may be one of the ones to figure it out before the others - how? you don’t know either but i have a feeling he might’ve taken a look at your ID or something along those lines. mans just nods at the year. as long as you’re still yourself and don’t change how you act in the relationship obvi bc he’s dating you bc of how you’ve presented yourself so far. it’ll feel weird if you suddenly start to dote on him just because you’re older. still likes to take care of you <3

“hey babe? were you born in 1993?” yuta inquires one day at dinner, the whole table of members somehow going a little quiet at the revelation.

“mhm! how’d you know?” you tilted your head, placing a piece of fish into your mouth and ignoring the shocked faces on the faces of the different members.

“eehh- i just saw it on your ID accidentally the other day,” yuta smiles when wiggle your mouth around to feel for the fish’s bone, finally able to shoot your boyfriend a smile as you both go back to your dinner. your laugh is the one thing that’s heard across the table and the occasional clinks of chopsticks against porcelain, and you’re confident if you were on a sitcom, the camera would just have all the members staring into it in shock.

“is it that surprising?” you asked the members, some of them waving their hands and shaking their head, knowing that yuta would probably take it up to them if they happen to have a problem with it.

“so i actually needed to call you hyung/noona?! i’m so sorry!!!” mark exclaims, earning a giggle from you.

→ DOYOUNG would react a little intensely too, but more in a starstruck, quiet kind of way. he just has this wide eyed look that make you burst out in laughter at the discovery and his lips are making a funny shape. he nods it off calm and cooly, but inside he’s like oh my god wtf really???? why didn’t i know this holy shit are they going to leave me for not knowing you can see no thought behind his eyes but you know the man’s spiralling a little inside that you have to reassure him that it’s just a minor thing (he gets out of the dump pretty quickly). your age reveal doesn’t affect him much either.

“you’re- you’re older than me?” doyoung’s mouth dries, coffee cup hovering just below his lips as you drop the bomb without much care. it’s quiet in the early morning, having had just finished filming his relay cam, but you can practically hear doyoung’s thoughts. he’s brought of it when you place a hand on his wrist.

“babe, baby, it’s okay. i didn’t tell you anyway, don’t worry about it,” your smile is blinding, and it has doyoung smiling as well, agreeing along to your reasoning and slowly easing into his previous action of drinking his beverage before he halts again.

your head tilts in question. “what is it?”

your boyfriend waves it off with a shy smile, bringing your hand to his lips as he lands a kiss on the skin there, “nothing. just thinking about how much i love you.”

“did it change?”

there’s a blush on his cheeks when he says it, glad for the two of you being in the only ones awake. “no, not one bit.”

→ JAEHYUN would one way or another kind of know already, although he’s not 100% sure. he’s observant, sometimes content with watching you take care of the other members (poor guy gets jealous tho) or just cleaning up after him when he’s a little too tired to do things - like wash his hair and what not. even if you’re not a naturally ‘taking care of others’ person, jaehyun picks up on the things that he’s heard his friends talk about regarding their older siblings (since he’s an only child) or compares to how you act around the group that’s similar to taeyong or doyoung. i can see jaehyun being a little disappointed, but it doesn’t change much as long as he can keep the dynamic of the relationship (so him giving the affection with you in his embrace). jaehyun is a quiet kind of shock like doyoung.

“huh… you’re born in 1994?”

“sure am,” you’re filling out a form for a membership, pen scribbling with swiftness in order not to hold up the line. you pass it back in a minute as the cashier processes your membership, and you feel jaehyun squeeze your hand. “why, why? is it an issue?” you mumble a thank you to the cashier, heading out of the store hand in hand while you find a spot to talk to your boyfriend.

“no no,” jaehyun giggles, a low one that makes your heart flutter, and he leans down to place a kiss onto your lips. it lingers there longer than you expected and you feel his smile on your lips. “there’s no issue. it just kinda adds up, in a way. you’re such a natural at giving advice and taking care of the other members. i’m just… a little surprised, is all.”

you laugh at that, meeting his lips again in a loving peck, “okay, that’s good then!”

→ JUNGWOO says “woowww!” like video game commentary and claps. yes he claps, you’re not sure why either but he’s just so thrilled to learn of your birth year that he just nods along and gives you a thumb-up after. i can’t say he’ll be that shocked, more of like happy for you like you just told him you passed a test or something. when you ask him about it, he just shrugs and pats you on the back. it’s all part of his personality, though, and like taeyong/yuta, he wouldn’t care much apart from being able to call you ‘sunbaenim’ as a joke. sometimes calls you senpai LMAO

“woah, you’re older than me by four years?” jungwoo mumbles when you show him your old IDs, the topic of your birth year overriding the original goal of wanting to see your foetus pictures.

“hm? oh yeah, i guess i never really mentioned it, huh?” you continue with what you were doing, cleaning up the stray hairs sticking out from your hairdo before jungwoo comes back hugging with his long limbs and silky outfit.

“congrats!” he meets your eyes through the vanity mirror and proceeds to peck your cheek and your expression that follows next brings laughter to jungwoo’s chest. you can feel it move from behind you, hoping he wouldn’t mess up the hour you spent on your hair. “why congrats?” your lip is curled with a raise of your eyebrows as your boyfriend continues to hang off your shoulders.

he thinks, then replies with a dunno and leaves the area to settle back on the bed. the snap of his camera follows next, no doubt taking pictures of the serious face shots of your old ID cards.

→ MARK would be one of the ones that you think is over exaggerating, except he’s just that shocked. he would stumble over his words and texting johnny or whoever to tell him and be like “yoooo? huh? what?” mark would probably be the last one to make the connection and johnny is all like “yeah? u didn’t know?” and mark is like “HOW WOULD I KNOW THEY LOOK SO YOUNG?????!!” hysterical, this man. mark almost doesn’t believe it for a second and you have to take out your ID to show him lmfao

mark’s head snaps to you once he overhears you in conversation with the flyer distributor, catching your attention with something that was in line with your interests. mark tunes out the promoter explaining the features of the product, only coming back to earth when you mention your date of birth for a trial of their services.

“you’re WHAT? nah. no. no way, show me your ID.”

the other jumps back at the sudden exclamation while you just raise an eyebrow. sorry, excuse him, you mumble, and you’re dragging mark off to the side as you fumble in your bag to pull out your ID in exasperation. the timing is imperfectly perfect: mark bends down to inspect your birth year, you flip open the wallet a little too hard, it hits his head in a loud thwack!

“ow.” mark giggles, squinting his eyes to finally make out the fading ‘1998’ on your card, “oh! so the same as jungwoo hyung?” he giggles again, “he finally as someone to talk to!”

→ HAECHAN is shocked but would immediately mask it and go like “oh my! still so pretty, miss halmeoni,” he coos and you’re so ready to smack him. in a way acts like johnny but will not stop using the word on a daily basis (unless you tell him that you don’t like it). it becomes part of the pet names that he calls you, but he still likes the classic baby/honey/love. sometimes also like to whine with hyung/noona if he wants something, like a new video game or for you to buy food for him. other than that, haechan is pretty indifferent about you being older than him.

“hah?! you’re born in 1999?” haechan has his neck stuck out like a fish out of water, not posing that much difference since he’s just finished a shower. you make the bed with deftness, tucking in the duvet easily as your boyfriend approaches from behind.

he’s shocked, but before you can comment on it, he recovers quickly to deliver a quip through his toothpaste-filled mouth, “oh my! halmeoni, then you should take a seat!” your hands are on your hips, glaring at him while he only grins.

you indulge him, though, and take a seat on the newly made bed, relaxing into the softness of the sheets with elbows.

“if i’m considered elderly, then, you can do the housework for me, right?” the dread that slowly fills up haechan’s features make you explode into giggles, before pushing yourself up to come face to face with him.

“thought so,” you whispered, petting his head as you continue the clean-up of the room.

[bookwyrminspiration]

i was scrolling through your blog again today and i got down to that ask i sent you about chapter 11 and....wow. i just checked and it's.......7477 words. the essays i write for school are less words than that??? thank you for getting me back into writing????

amd im still thinking about chapter 11 and what it could all mean, too! i havent the faintest clue where this is going and i am so grateful for it. a lot of the time i have the unfortunate ability to guess where things are gonna go so whenever something stumps me i am !!!!

and i realized i never replied to your reply on ao3, so i guess i'll take the opportunity and do that now? thank you a lot for replying to it with your own thoughts! im very excited to see where the connection linh and marella have to the dragons goes. dragons are great since they can really be anything, too, so i dont even know what you're gonna have them look like! and if they are part-dragon, itd be really interesting if maybe they were different kinds of dragons, since it would make sense for linh to be a rain or river dragon, but marella has her fire and all. either way, im super stoked for the future of the wings au! thank you tons for writing it :']

(i still have no idea whats going on with oralie and bronte's messages, though....maybe ill reread what you said on that and see if i can find any hints. i should probably do a reread of the chapters so far, too, to make sure i havent missed anything....)

- pyro

welcome back, pyro!! also oh damn that's a lot of words--also several of my posts on here are longer than essays I turn in. Just the other day I wrote an answer that was 1200 words...and my paper due this sunday for my contemporary social problems class is supposed to be between 600 and 900 (haven't started it yet but i'll be fine).

I think you're talking about the post that starts "So. Chapter 11. I have many thoughts." But if it's a different one that's also fine! also you're welcome, I think! Anything I've done to help you write and be creative is super cool!! i'm always a little shocked when I see people creating things based on stuff I've done--fanart and asks and things like that in general! just people thinking! I was just scrolling through my blog and saw a few art pieces from you about the wings au and I just sat there for a moment like oh fuck ve made a thing for my thing. So cool!

I am also thinking about chapter 11 tbh (I think you sent this before chapter 12 was posted so you're probably thinking more about chapter 12 now but still!!) Also I'm so glad you're confused about where this is going--I get so worried that my twists are gonna be predictable and bland so it's always nice to hear that there are some surprises along the way! But even if you do guess things that's also excellent! because it means what I wrote made sense and is believable! there can be a certain amount of satisfaction in guessing, but it's also so much fun to be surprised. Hopefully the au is full of several more surprises for you because I am not done yet! I have so many plans and ideas and I want to share them all.

oh also this reminded me I never responded to your comment on chapter 12 on ao3. oopsie. that's what I get for having such a busy schedule I guess! but!! I think things will kinda calm down in the new few days and then I can get back to writing and answering asks more. Had several things disrupt me and make life very chaotic, hence less frequent posts recently--still trying to recover from that! so I will reply to that comment soon, I promise! (and to all your asks!!)

also all your thoughts and speculations about dragons are so cool!! that's actually something that's coming up very soon in the au so I can't talk about it a lot without spoiling! but if you couldn't tell from Marella sneaking out, there's gonna be a little more focus on her for a little bit. the dragons have actually gotten more complex in my head as the au has gone on. they're were accidental, so I didn't think to much about what they'd look like or their purpose aside form the immediate shock factor, but now...I have several thoughts about them!! and Linh's connection...was also an accident but I'm so pleased with it. Do we know exactly what that connection is? nope! but it's not the same as Marella's and it's gonna be really fun to explore what is happening to the two of them!

"either way, im super stoked for the future of the wings au! thank you tons for writing it :']" thank you for reading it! your enthusiasm has really helped me through some of the tougher spots and kept me going. it wouldn't be the same without you! I wouldn't say I cater to the readers, but knowing what excites everyone and catches interest helps me make decisions on what to focus on later! and also gives me ideas for things to add in! and I'm also very excited for the future of this au--I have some ideas that are probably gonna be a pain in the ass to execute but I can't wait to get to them! they're still a ways off but ahh!

and those messages...so much meaning behind them. so cryptic! this is actually one of those bigger ideas I was just talking about! so if you do figure it out (not that I would tell you) you might have an idea of what's coming in the wings au in the future! I don't remember exactly what hints I gave, but I do think it's entirely possible to figure out at least parts of the clue! what it leads to is mostly me making up worldbuilding things and drama, but the hints are drawn from canon!

also if you do reread the chapters...good luck? there's so many words I wish you luck. according to google the average reader would take five hours to read that, but that's at 200-250 wpm, and I don't know your reading speed! honestly I should probably reread the au for inspiration for future chapters...we can reread it together!!

[lizacstuff]

Selin is the worst, but that episode was good (ep 37 asks)

The last ask down below has spoilers for 38

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: Selin should honestly teach a class on gaslighting because I swear I've never seen another character willing to manipulate someone THIS much just so they weren't happy.

Every time you think it’s not possible for her to go lower, she rents a backhoe and starts digging. 

They obviously never had sex in Slovenia, but she’s willing to lie and gaslight and manipulate him into thinking it happened when he was so out of it while recovering from injuries sustained in a PLANE CRASH and had amnesia.

So lets break that down. IF she had had sex with him while he was so sick, pain-riddled and groggy from a brain injury (and other physical injuries) that it’s now foggy enough for him that he doesn’t remember, that is rape. There is no way he could consent under those circumstances. Not only that but he had amnesia and had forgotten both that he had a fiancé and had kicked Selin out of his life.  Good grief, this woman is so willing to lie and manipulate him into thinking he’s the father, that’s she confessing to a rape that didn’t happen, rather than just living the truth with Deniz???

That is so SICK. 

This was a great episode, but if she doesn’t get what’s coming to her, I will scream. At least after this Serkan’s blinders will be off when it comes to her. (I mean it is pretty humiliating that she was engaged to a man who wouldn’t touch her, and Serkan is going around shouting that he didn’t touch her, but still, there needs to be more than that.) 

Anonymous said: they really threw me for a loop when they had eda tell serkan about the pregnancy like 2/3rds of the way through the episode. i was really expecting her to say it in her letter (btw, how heartbreaking was her letter jesus) serkan immediately denying it and saying it was impossible was exactly what everyone needed! i never had a doubt in my mind tbh.. but selin is REALLY psychotic by STILL manipulating him and the fact he was sick and out of it while in slovenia.

That shocked me as well. I didn’t expect it, though am glad they did it this way. I was thinking it wouldn’t be possible because I KNEW Serkan would be able to say “It’s impossible, I was never with her” and thought that would be the end of it, but this was well done. I know it was frustrating for some in the audience that Eda wasn’t communicating with him, BUT she eventually did. She ended up telling him the same day she was sure of the information. I think that is an acceptable amount of time. So there is growth there and she didn’t up and leave without him knowing her real reasons. Also we got the satisfaction of him saying no it’s impossible AND the angst of there being enough doubt because of Selin’s sick manipulations (and willingness to confess to raping him) that we got THAT letter and the magnificent end sequence. 

THIS is the good kind of angst. This is the good kind of drama. They’ve put us through weeks and weeks of bad angst and bad drama, so while this episode had heavy emotions hanging over it, it was far easier to watch than most we’ve had. 

I’m laughing that the writers finally pulled a top to bottom quality episode out of their bag of tricks (after weeks of failure) right as we’re on the verge of another writer shakeup. 

Serkan is back! That’s the character i love. We haven’t seen him since he said goodbye in 28.  I hope he sticks around.

YES! Hoşgeldiniz, Serkan Bolat!

This did feel like the old Serkan. He did a lot of things right this episode. I absolutely loved that through the whole thing he was focused on Eda and doing everything in his power to make her feel comfortable, safe and loved. She had just rejected, in front of everyone, his marriage proposal and yet he was only focused on making sure she was okay. He was so loving and the writers finally found the romantic robot within him, you know, the guy who spouts heart-stoppingly romantic lines without even thinking.  I was afraid we’d lost that guy for good.

Kerem was wonderful in this episode, he did such a great job. As did Hande, but while 29 was her episode, I felt like this one was his.  Serkan was on the edge of a breakdown the whole episode, he was frantic, he was in-love, he was heartbroken and thanks to Kerem’s performance we could feel all of it.

Oh, and on a side note, how I want that vacation in the Maldives for Eda and Serkan. They deserve it. 

Anonymous said:   THAT ENDING WAS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION HANDS DOWN BEST OF THE SERIES I FUCKING KNEW THEYD DO THE SOULMATE HEART THING!!!! IN FACT BEST EPISODE OF THE SERIES BC THE ANGST WAS SO GOOD WTF (okay maybe not the best episode ever but I’m not calm rn)

That ending was sooooo good, probably up there with 1, 5, 11 and 26 for me. 

The whole time, I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath. The running, Eda looking at the Little Prince book, her heart pains, Serkan in pain, but so focused on getting to Eda. I love, love, love the soulmate heart thing. The fact that she was experiencing pain, but she didn’t know why, that’s the goods right there.  

I also really love that while she was helped along by her heart pain, she made the decision herself to turn around. She’s ultimately following her own heart, which didn’t want to leave and knew it wasn’t the right course of action. We all know Serkan could have convinced her to stay if he reached her, but this way it’s fully her own decision and that will ultimately make them stronger.  

Anonymous said: They were really going for the ep 11 parallels this ep more than I thought they would. By Eda "feeling sick" and them bringing back The Little Prince.. The last scene was honestly soooo good. The emotion, the music, the angst of it all! Totally lived up to my expectations.. I just KNEW they would bring back the "connected hearts/soulmate" thing they had going on and have Eda turn around.. I'm so excited for what's next.. have you by chance seen the tattoo spoilers?

Definitely episode 11 feels, which was another episode with the right kind of angst. So many good Edser scenes in this episode. 

All the scenes in the loft were gold, in different ways. From the fun scenes of them in the kitchen making pizza (once again both Serkan and Kerem being willing to eat “after” someone else, lmao) to the heart-stopping romance of him taking care of her when she was sick and telling her he will love her forever to the angst and longing of their “last” night together.  I need to go rewatch all of them!

Yes, I saw those tattoo spoilers. An infinity symbol made from their initials E x S I ‘bout fainted when I saw them on their ring fingers!  And then in the episode when Serkan said “I love you to infinity.” Oh man, my heart.  

So what does this mean? Because we saw them with those tattoos while they were dressed in the same outfits from the airport. Does he recover from his PTSD/panic attack and they go directly to a tattoo parlor/wedding venue?  I mean... what is happening? Did they elope, or just get the rings as a promise?  

In any case, I think it’s amazing. What a wonderful way to solve the conundrum of their rings and which ones to use and worrying about them being cursed. Can’t wait to see how it comes about. 

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

With the second half of chapter 11, I am ready for people thoughts / questions / comments on the opening arcs. Were there favorite parts of it? Parts you wish had had a little more to them? Who’s your favorite / least favorite of the characters as shown so far? Anything you found particularly interesting about certain scenes / panels / etc. that you want to share? Have at it! 

I’ll probably be doing some of that myself as I go back through for any little moments I liked, and sort of summarize my own thoughts on the opening arcs. Then, of course, we get to get into the USJ, and see some real action! <3

[No. 11 - Bakugou’s Starting Line]

We come back to the nurse’s office, where Toshinori is awkwardly hovering by Izuku’s bed while Recovery Girl tears into him for Izuku’s third time in her office despite the school year only just starting, and why he hasn’t prevented that damage from happening. Toshinori apologizes to her, and she tells him it’s not her he needs to apologize to. 

(Also, man he’s swimming in his hero costume - really gives a sense of the size difference between the two forms to be honest.)

She notes that Izuku’s come to her both that day and the day before completely fatigued, and that this sort of damage isn’t so easily healed. He’s on an IV drip and has gotten emergency first aid, but all that can be done now is wait for him to recover on his own. 

Which brings me back to chapter 4 with her managing to heal him while he’s completely unconscious and in way worse shape - I really do believe at this point that she CAN use her own stamina to help a patient in critical condition who doesn’t have the energy to heal themselves, but it’s not as effective and, well, drains HER to the point where she won’t be able to help others who might be in need. Ergo, in situations like this, she sticks to hoarding her stamina and letting kids heal their own reckless behavior. (She probably could do a lot more in her prime, but alas.)

She states that she knows Toshinori gave Izuku his power, but regardless of favoritism, Toshinori has to stop indulging Izuku. Toshinori scratches under his ear in embarrassment and says she’s right - he was sympathizing too much, so he hesitated. He then goes on to hesitantly ask her to keep it down while at least discussing One For All. 

She huffs and turns away, mocking him with his ‘natural born hero’ and ‘symbol of piece’ titles. He goes on to explain (for audience benefit alone tbh) that while the staff of UA know about his true form and injury, only Recovery Girl, the principal, an old friend of his (who will later be revealed as Detective Tsukauchi), and Izuku know about his quirk. To everyone else, it’s a secret.

(We know from later on that this isn’t quite true - there are a few others who know - but I suppose that this is the ring of people who he interacts with at this point in time, which is… really fucking depressing. 

Of course, Horikoshi might not have come up with either character beyond vague thoughts and outlines at this point, so I suppose he didn’t want to box himself in on a character design before he was sure they fit his needs. Gran probably was outlined vaguely at this point? But I think Nighteye might not have been created until around Kamino.)

Recovery Girl asks rhetorically whether that talk is just him resting on his laurels, then a bit more seriously asks whether it’s really that important that he be a natural born hero and the Symbol of Peace. We get another up-close shot of Toshinori’s intensity as he states that without him, superhuman society would fall to evil.

(A bit egotistical there, much? But I think it’s also a bit of the toxic mindset he’s had build up over the ages - that he’s alone in being able to hold things together, that there’s no one to fall back on, that he can’t afford to be ‘helped’ even as he keeps falling apart.)

Toshinori then goes on to explain that this is the responsibility that wielders of One For All must bear. Recovery Girl contemplates this quietly for a moment, then says that it’s then all the more important for Toshinori to learn how to guide Izuku properly. 

We transition to after school… which does end up leaving me to wonder whether I was off about heroics being the last class of the day, but at the same time, I don’t see how the teachers expect the kids to be able to focus on academics after two hours of heroics training, not to mention that the kids do need time to digest lunch, so,,, eh. I’m going to presume that here it’s more that with the battle trials ending a bit early, there was time afterwards for discussion before the school day ended.

Anyways, Izuku is just trudging back to class, still in his damaged costume and wearing a sling for his right arm. He’s slouched over, thinking about how Aizawa-sensei is ‘really gonna let him have it’ - which says a lot about his expectations for teachers at this point. He opens the door to the classroom, and is surprised when Kirishima notices him and announces his return, as well as welcomes him back. 

Izuku is quickly surrounded by several classmates (Kirishima, Mina, and Sato), all of whom are excited to talk to him, much to his confusion. Kirishima says that even without knowing what was being said, the battle was wild. Mina complements Izuku’s dodging (which makes sense now that I think about it - she does a lot of dance and incorporates it into her fighting, so she might have thought Izuku was similar? Maybe?) Sato says that everyone was pumped after the crazy first round.

Kirishima, Mina, Tsuyu, and Sato all then introduce themselves in order, with Kirishima saying that they were discussing battle training, Mina restating her admiration for Izuku’s dodging skills, Tsuyu that she just prefers to be called Tsuyu. Izuku is a bit overwhelmed. To the side, Tokoyami grumbles about them being noisy while sitting on the desk - much to Tenya’s concern as he demands Tokoyami get off of it. Someone else tells Tenya to not get bent out of shape. 

The true crack ship - KamiChako. Which is immediately ruined when Ochako makes her way over to Izuku, noticing and worrying over his arm and whether he’d gotten it healed. Izuku says it wasn’t quite healed, since he was so worn out, and then he apologizes and says he has something to do. That something being rushing after Katsuki.

(Literally, that boy walks in, looks around, sees Katsuki isn’t there, and immediately goes ‘sorry I have to go immediately’. Like, I know this is a shounen, but at the same time…)

Izuku catches up to Katsuki on the way to the gate out of the grounds, and is, uh...

Not looking that great, captain. Those bags under his eyes have really seen some cultivation in the time since the battle trial. 

Izuku’s internal thoughts note that where everyone else wanted to talk to him, Katsuki just clammed up and went home. Or maybe it’s Izuku’s memory of Toshinori recounting the aftermath of the class? But Toshinori left right at the end, so uh… I have no idea. 

Anyways, Izuku catches up and gets his attention, drawing Katsuki’s shadowed stare (it’s not quite a glare? So yeah.) Izuku is looking down a bit, narration noting that he hasn’t even told his mom his secret as he states that he can’t say much, but that Katsuki should know this. Izuku thinks about Katsuki’s comments during the battle trial about tricking him, and then…

Well that was a face adventure Katsuki went through. It’s a really good thing he was also too distracted by his own existential angst to really think about Izuku’s words.

But to dig more deeply into this, we can start from the top - literally. Starting at all that space at the top, and then the empty panel (asides from the two) where Izuku states he got his quirk from someone else. It really sort of gives a beat before such a weighty reveal, and more so how, in that moment, Izuku is only focused on Katsuki as he says it.

Izuku goes on to explain that he can’t say who it’s from, and that it’s a bit like a conversation out of a comic book, and that on top of that he can’t even really use it yet, so the borrowed power is pretty useless to him, which is why he tried to beat Katsuki without it… only to fail and be forced to rely on it. While this is happening, Katsuki’s expression goes from confusion/what the fuck towards outright pissed as Izuku rambles on, seemingly nonsensically from his point of view. Izuku states that he has a way to go, and then looks up and meets Katsuki’s gaze as he states that he’s going to make that power his own someday, and then overcome Katsuki with his own power. 

This seems to derail Katsuki’s anger for a moment back towards shock - possibly for the sheer boldness and earnestness of the statement. Izuku’s a bit embarrassed at his rambling reveal, thinking that he’d just meant to tell Katsuki he hadn’t been tricking him, but, well. 

Katsuki wobbles a bit in place, likely to keep himself from instinctively going after Izuku for being, well, Izuku. He repeats Izuku’s comment about borrowed power, then says he has no idea what Izuku’s talking about, but that Izuku is clearly determined to keep making a fool out of him. His anger boils back up as he grits out another swear, and then gets into how he lost to Izuku, and then if that weren’t enough, there was another student - Shouto - who he knows he can’t measure up to. He slaps a hand to his face, nails digging into his hair as he swears again and notes how ‘ponytail girl said it all’. He snaps his arms back down, swearing more, and demands a mostly rhetorical why from Izuku - likely in response to his fear of being able ot measure up to someone he had until then looked down on. Katsuki then declares through tears - and some repetition for emphasis - that from there on out he’s gonna beat everyone. 

He then spins back around and starts to walk off, rubbing at the tears while telling Izuku to enjoy his win, since it won’t happen ever again. Izuku holds himself firm a bit longer, then sighs and seems to lose whatever energy he’d dredged up for that conversation - methinks it’s also a bit exasperated with Katsuki? I mean, I have to admit trying to have a serious convo with the kid has to be a struggle sometimes.

Incredible. Thanks, All Might. And I can’t help but cackle at Izuku swaying in the wind created with All Might rushing right past him to get to Katsuki, as well as that ‘ow!’ from Katsuki. All Might is latched onto Katsuki’s shoulder as he kind of greets the kid, with Katsuki looking about five seconds from turning around and biting the man in the arm like a semi-feral cat.

All Might is wheezing a bit in holding this form while rushing to catch up, starting to offer some advice - that Katsuki’s self-respect is important, and that he definitely has the makings of a pro, just so long as he-

Katsuki cuts him off by telling him to get off, since he can’t walk. He then goes on to say that it’s without question that he’ll be a hero who surpasses even All Might. All Might is surprised at that rebound, taking his hand off while thinking that the usual egomaniac is back. All Might mutters about how being a teacher is tough while watching Katsuki stalk off.

Izuku’s narration notes that Katsuki’s fuse had been lit, but his own goals hadn’t changed - that he would keep chasing after him. While he’s staring dramatically after his childhood friend, All Might starts asking what he said to Katsuki.

We have a last transition to a few days later, the narration noting that the class learned an important lesson that All Might had warned them about - about how they should fear the cleverest of villains. The scene is set in a different area, with the frontmost building being a bar. Someone is shown reading a newspaper article about All Might teaching at UA, as well as his temporary leave from his hero agency. 

The person sets the newspaper down folded neatly, noting how All Might is a teacher now. The voice then goes a bit raspy (or maybe it’s a different speaker) as they wonder out loud about what would happen if villains killed the symbol of peace. 

Whoo boy, what a first introduction to the main antagonist of the series.

It seems like he has all five fingers on the newspaper in those panels? But it might just be the weird angle that keeps us from seeing how careful he is to not do so, which might have given away his quirk before it gets shown in the next arc. 

Also, hello misty character who definitely doesn’t have some deeper, tragic backstory we eventually learn about. 

About those hands… you know, I know what the ‘official’ story behind them ends up being, but like, they all look the same, so I wonder if those are just… random hands from his victims over the years. ...while the design is suitably disconcerning, it also makes sense that Hori would eventually chuck them aside thanks to how much extra drawing and detail they all need. 

Anyways, that closes out the chapter and the opening arcs, so again, open for any sort of thoughts/questions all of you have. I should have my own out in the next few days, I think.

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

imagine the writers actually liked blair & released her from the shackles of her relationship with THAT man, how would you have liked to see dan & blair's relationship develop from there? individual character development, conflicts, scenes, anything that comes to ur mind! i love seeing your analyses and opinions on this blog - ur able to express ur thoughts so aptly!

when you say “THAT man” i don’t actually know whether you mean chuck or louis, so i’m just going to interpret it as both of them, sklhfdklghf. though in a lot of ways this response focuses more on dan & blair, so!  [ read more because it got long...duh] [most of the links will take you to gifsets by @danandblair  - if you’re not following, you should! morgan’s undeniably the best of the best *sobs*]  

tbh, i feel like... canon dair was already so good, in so many ways. they were playful, they both made each other happy, they were able to have open conversations - neither of them had any illusions about the other person, and both of them were very much on the same wavelength about what they wanted from a relationship. nads @mysteriesofloves has said a bit about how they’re romantically very compatible over here  - it’s better than anything i could say.

dan and blair are really interesting though, because they understand each other very intuitively. as early as the stairwell scene in 1x04, where dan tells blair about the situation with his mother, and then in the bit in 1x15 where nate hugs vanessa and dan & blair see it, they both just...exchange a look and neither of them needs to say a word... they get it. this intuitive understanding of each other gives their relationship - when they are in a relationship - a good solidity, because there’s less scope for miscommunication when you’re with someone who knows you well enough that they don’t misunderstand you very often? 

there’s just so many instances where dan’s insecure/jealous of chuck, and blair reassures him, and the whole thing in ‘despicable b’ where blair sabotages him at the event, but they resolve it and talk about it! even though both of them can be insecure in their own ways, they trust each other! both of them genuinely want the other to succeed!

they both saw each other in a real way - look how blair describes dan to dan here, look how dan tells her what he sees in her. unlike how dan saw serena or blair saw chuck, dan & blair’s expectations of each other are grounded in reality and in experience. their romance was a progression of their friendship, which is what made it so stable, imo. 

what i think needed to be done differently was like - the fact that chuck is blair’s ex, and out of all her exes, probably the one whose relationship with blair was the most ‘intense’, and dan knew this. dan knows that blair loved chuck - hell, he gave her advice on how to seduce chuck back in s2. even when her diary was leaked and whatnot, the fact that he was like *shocked pikachu* about it didn’t make sense to me. dan knew from day 1 that he was in love triangle territory with blair, so to suddenly be shocked by her feelings for chuck felt really ooc. also, i’ve spoken about this before in some other context, but serena leaking blair’s diary directly parallels vanessa stealing dan’s manuscript. when vanessa stole dan’s manuscript, he was hurt and he tried to stop her from publishing it, because he wasn’t ready. given that he’s been through this exact form of betrayal, i would’ve expected him to be more sympathetic to blair. that diary leak shouldn’t have torn them apart imo.

i also think that what blair was going through was... a lot. chuck, louis, the miscarriage, the pressures of the press, the responsibilities that came with being blair grimaldi and the knowledge that she would have to undertake them, serena being unreliable (the ‘evil serena’ arc! oh this’ll be a completely different essay if i take it there), her mother ready to give her waldorf designs, her needing to choose a career or whatever, all of that together is really a mess. and it’s a mess that dan, all by himself, couldn’t possibly fix - even if he wanted to! i think blair’s moving past all of that should’ve been given some focus. i think she would need therapy (to be honest, everyone on this show needs therapy, but again: different discussion) and maybe... the idea of blair in a support group warms my heart. a support groups for people who’ve had miscarriages, or for survivors of intimate partner violence, or something like that. it would’ve been good for her to have safe spaces where she could acknowledge that she’d been going through these incredibly stressful and traumatizing things, and while dan humphrey, supportive boyfriend and wife guy extraordinaire is There, it’s never healthy to use a single person as a support system, and i think blair needed focus at this point of the arc to recover and get better and be able to put herself first. 

i also really wish that there’d been resolution and acknowledgement of how in the past, blair had been awful to jenny and vanessa - given that they’re dan’s sister & dan’s best friend (dan/vanessa friendship should’ve stayed strong throughout the show, i am forever pissed off that it was ruined) - given that, i felt like it’s definitely something that should have come up at some point, and been another thing they had to get through as part of their relationship.

there might be something else i’m forgetting, i don’t know.

to conclude: something i really liked was that dan & blair’s first time having sex was... not good, but they got past it (look at this! ahhh.) i loved that because dan AND blair are both such... perfectionists isn’t the best word, but like... they both care So Much about things like this? like, their first time being Good is something they were both so serious about, and they’re just. they take these things so seriously. but they were able to move past it anyway and it didn’t really matter that their first time was awful, which. given how much both of them overthink & overanalyze and/or put too much significance in arbitrary things - given that, it was cool that they didn’t get stuck there? idek how to say this.

yeah, that’s all i’ve got.. i think!

[ravs6709]

These Feelings Inside (How Deep Do They Go)

Chapter 3- Too Many Questions

Masterlist. Previous. Next chapter.

Read on ao3.

Let's go! Chapter 3 of the fic for the @kotlc2021collab !

I had larger plans for this chapter tbh, but I ended up stretching one of the scenes, so the chapter became very long (over 3k words). It was fun though!

Uh, warnings. (Censored) swearing, Sophie thinking about what would have happened to her if there wasn't a siren lure (the thought isn't completed, but still). I don't think there's anything else?

Anyways, enjoy!

•~•~•~•~•~•

Sophie woke to a feeling of intense cold. Heavy rain was pouring.

Wait, where am I?

The rain made it hard to see her surroundings, but it didn't take long for her to figure out that she was outside, in a beach-like setting. She wasn't on the mainland- she was on a mini-island with a small cave.

What happened?

She tried to think about what had happened earlier. She remembered Fitz backing away, and her needing to go outside for air. But what happened after that? How did she end up here?

Breathe. You need to breathe.

She took long, deep breaths. She was in an unfamiliar place, and if she let panic overtake her now, it'd only make things worse.

Okay, first things first. It's raining and there's a cave. You should go dry off.

She moved to go inside the cave, only to nearly step on a person. Wait, a person?

On closer inspection, the person was pale, and had messy blond hair. They were somewhat slender, yet still muscular and- 

"Holy sh*t!" Sophie shrieked, because she finally properly took in the revelation that there was someone else on the island with her.

How did they get here? Then again, she didn't even know how she got there either. How long were they there? Were they… were they dead? She vaguely remembered the feeling of falling. Maybe she managed to survive unscathed, but what if this person wasn't so lucky?

Check if they're alive. One thing at a time.

She looked at them, and found it weird that they didn't have a shirt on.

Don't get distracted!

They seemed to be breathing, but just to make sure, she put a hand to their neck to check their pulse. She sighed in relief when she could feel it easily.

"Uh… hello?" she called out. "Hello?"

They didn't stir. Were they unconscious? Her first instinct was to put water on them, only to once again remember that it was raining. If that didn't wake them up, she wasn't sure what would.

"Are you okay?" she asked once more.

She didn't know if poking them would be a good idea. She looked back towards the mainland. It didn't seem too far- however swimming wasn't particularly Sophie's strong suit. It was either swim, or wait and just hope that somehow the two of them would be found. Who knows how long that would take though? It would have to take at least a day.

What are mom and dad gonna say if I get home so late? What about Biana and Fitz? They'd be concerned, right?

She thought about Fitz again. Would he… how long would it take him to notice that I wasn't there?

Sophie turned back towards the person, who was still lying unconscious. 

"Okay," she murmured to herself. "I'm going to swim, and then I'll get some help. That doesn't seem too hard, right?"

As she made her way to the water, there was a groan. She whirled around again, and saw that the person was moving. Their eyes fluttered open, then focused on her. Or well, their gaze altered between looking at her chest and legs?

"What the f*ck?" she asked. "Stop staring at me!"

They hummed, then stood up, their legs trembling. The action reminded her of a baby making its first steps.

"Careful!" she said, rushing over to help them when they tripped over their feet.

"Okay sweetheart," they said, flashing a grin at her. Then their gaze flicked towards her chest. "Would you mind explaining what's going on?"

Sweetheart? Also why are they staring at me like that!?

"Who are you calling sweetheart?" she grumbled, pushing them away from her. "My name is Sophie Foster. So use my name. And quit staring at me."

They didn't look offended at all, they only smirked and Sophie felt like she was about to regret everything. "Okay, Foster. Why are you here?"

"I fell and washed up here?" she replied, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice because they called her 'Foster.' "Aren't you concerned as to why you're here? Are you okay?"

They shrugged. "I know why I'm here, I'm not sure as to why you're here. You shouldn't be." They gazed down again, and she had the urge to hit him because that was really uncomfortable.

But she resisted that urge, and only raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean? It's not like you know me."

They sighed. "Can't you tell that something's wrong? Your heart's still glowing."

"What do you mean my heart is glowing?" Was that why they kept looking at her like that?

"Look… come in the water, I need to see something. Something's wrong."

She had no idea what they were talking about, but she followed them to the water. Before they could get there though, they tripped. 

"Next time I see ver, I'm telling ver that walking is overrated," they grumbled, before getting up and continuing.

"That's the second time you fell over," she remarked. "You sure you're okay?"

They turned around to face her. "Aww, you worried about me, Foster?" Then they winked.

She had two very conflicting reactions to that. On one hand, they seemed a little cocky, and the flirting wasn't really helping. On the other, they were attractive, and she hated the fact that she noticed that. Their ice blue were sparkling, and the messy blond hair only made them look better. (She was very consciously trying to ignore the fact that they were shirtless).

Focus on something else! Like… like how I've been able to hold a conversation. Or literally anything else. 

"For someone who was bothered by me staring at them, you sure have been staring at me for a long time."

"Look, I-"

"Never mind, we don't have time for this." They grabbed her wrist, pulling her into the water. 

Because the action was so abrupt, she tripped over her feet, and fell. She opened her eyes and tried to surface, but there was something off about her legs. She could feel down there, but her body refused to separate, as if glued together. 

Why can't I- why can't I move?

"You can breathe, Foster," the stranger told her. "You're not going to drown."

Before her mind can tell her that actually, that is exactly how you drown, her body took a breath. Strangely, it felt okay.

No longer fearing that she was going to drown, she was able to notice her surroundings. Her vision was clear, just as good as it was on land (which was weird). She saw the stranger, and again, their eyes were looking down at her legs. 

She was about to yell at them, until she finally realized something. They had a tail. It was ice blue, matching the shade of their eyes. 

"Uh, what is happening?" she blurted. "Why do you have a tail?"

To her surprise, they laughed. Then they gestured to her. "You should look at yourself first."

Sophie looked down, and instead of seeing legs, she saw a tail similar to the stranger's. Instead of blue, it was a bright red.

"What the f*ck!?"

What was happening? Seeing the tail on the stranger was shocking, but in a way, it wasn't that surprising. Sophie had been a very large fan of mermaids, and had gone through a time of her life where she had wished that they were real. She was still a fan of them and wanted for them to be real, but after her life had gotten better, that desire had lessened.

So if she happened to meet a person who happened to be washed up on an island, it wouldn't be too surprising that they were somehow a merperson. 

The true question was- why did she have a tail?

"What did you do to me?" she yelled.

They swam a little closer. "Foster, I-"

"Stay away from me!" she screamed, thrusting her arms forward to push them back.

The water distorted, and then they were launched backwards. They recovered quickly, moving with ease.

"What did I just do?" she demanded, because she just pushed the water. "What is going on?"

"Look Foster, before I can explain, I need you to take a few breaths. Your heart is flashing too much and it's drawing attention. You're too overwhelmed."

"Well I wonder why!" she snapped. "It's not like I'm suddenly a mermaid or something!"

"First off, you're a siren." 

"Well thanks, that helps a lot," she muttered.

"Second, sirens can see the hearts of other humans. For some reason, I can still see your heart, and it's flashing all sorts of colours right now. The last thing that we need is for you to draw too much attention." Their tone was slow, and any of the humor or confusion was gone. "I don't expect you to understand, I just need you to be calm enough to listen. Can you breathe?"

They didn't approach her this time, giving her some space. She took a couple of deep breaths. "Okay, please explain."

"It's going to be a lot to take in. Are you going to be okay?"

Sophie shrugged. "I'll try my best."

"Okay, I'll get started. Right now, we're sirens. We're not quite what you hear in the stories. Being a siren is both a blessing and a curse. How this all works, it's a cycle. A human has a broken heart, a siren has the power to seek out those broken hearts. A siren makes the offer for the human to let go of their life, and the human agrees. The siren becomes a human, and the human becomes a siren. Does that make sense?" They had used their hands to make motions in the water, which helped out a lot.

"I think? Why are sirens seeking out broken hearts?"

"It's not fun being a siren. We lose our memories of our human life. For the most part, we just swim in the water alone. There aren't many of us, and even if we do find someone, we're not meant to stay with each other for long. It's a life of isolation. Becoming a human again is the only way to escape."

"Oh," she murmured. "The heartbroken person hears the offer, and accepts it, because they want to escape from their pain, right?"

They nodded. "Exactly. Are you starting to remember what happened now?"

There was some gap between her being outside, her falling, and then being washed onto the shore. "Remember what?"

"You had a broken heart. Did someone you love try to abandon you?"

No, she told herself. Don't think about that again.

"That doesn't matter. Continue."

They paused, as if trying to consider how to phrase what they were going to say next. "I'm a siren. You were a human with a broken heart."

It finally sank in. "You tried to turn me into a siren. Except… this happened."

I was heartbroken enough to the point of throwing my life away.

"Yeah, kinda, but to be fair, our siren song is designed to make your feelings worse." 

What if there was no siren to lure me? What would I have done? Could I have… could I have-

"Foster, neither of us knows what happened earlier. Whatever you're thinking, I doubt that's the case. I don't know what happened, but you managed to not be turned completely. Doesn't that matter?"

She blinked, then took in the words. "How did you-"

"A heart glows different colours based on different emotions. I don't see fear often, and it's honestly kind of stressing me out."

"Do you know how to change me back?"

"Not until you can figure out why the curse didn't affect you fully."

She crossed her arms. "Did you just say 'you'? This is your fault, and now you're leaving me to deal with the consequences?"

"Well, my plan was to just kiss you and leave!"

"You kissed me?"

Their eyes widened and laughed nervously. "Well, that's how you initiate the exchange. It's not like I remember it much."

She backed away a little bit.

They sighed. "Look Foster, it's not like we get a choice. You can have a whole debate about the issues of the situation, or you can go try and figure this out."

"Again. You're leaving me to do this? We are going to figure this out. You've been a siren, and you said that sirens lose their memories, right? You wouldn't have a home then." She paused, swam forward a bit, then added, "You should come live with me."

"You want me to come live with you?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I mean, that way we can work together. And you're going to need a home. We should go, my parents are going to be worried. Oh crap, what do I tell them?"

"You live with your parents?"

"Yeah, I do. I don't have any plans on moving out either, I help them with work. I don't want to make them worry, so I'm going to have to make an excuse as to why you're living with us."

"Can't you just say that a distant family member reached out?"

"That won't work. Let's head back, and hope that by then I can think of something. Okay… wait, do you have a name?"

"Sirens don't know their identity, so we choose our own. My name's Keefe, I once heard from someone that it means 'handsome'."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you'd choose a name that means that. Do you have pronouns? Mine's she/her."

"I use they/them."

"Okay, we should actually go now."

It took a little while to figure out how to move properly, and to be honest, it was a much needed distraction from everything that was now going on.

"You know Foster, how did you plan on getting back home? Swimming?" Keefe asked once they reached the mainland.

"Uh, yeah? It's not like it took long," Sophie replied, checking to make sure that there was no around before getting out of the water. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually miss having legs."

"Well I don't," they muttered, slowly making steps, their legs trembling. "How do people manage this? I'm freezing!"

She was about to make a somewhat mocking reply, before she realized that it was cold. The temperature was already quite low, and the rain- that had just recently subsided to a light drizzle- didn't make things better.

"You'll be fine with walking, right?"

"Don't worry Foster, I can walk. It'll just take me a bit to adjust, just like you had to adjust to swimming."

"Yeah yeah. Oh, you should probably take my sweater, it'll be weird if you walk around shirtless, and my dad will definitely be suspicious if he sees you like this."

"It won't be weird if I'm wearing your sweater?"

She shrugged. "Not like I have any other choice." She took off her sweater and gave it to them. It was a little small on them, but not as bad as she thought it was going to be.

"Okay, let's go."

Sophie was bad with directions, but she was lucky that she recognized the area. So, it didn't take too long to find the flower shop. Since the back entrance was closer, that was where she went. It only took a few seconds after she knocked for the door to open.

"Sophie!" Edaline called out, immediately hugging her. 

Sophie hugged her back, and heard more footsteps. Grady came running, a relieved expression on his face. He wrapped his arms around the both of them, putting them in a warm, protected embrace.

After it was over, Grady asked, "Sophie, who's this?"

She turned to where Grady was pointing to, momentarily forgetting that Keefe was there.

Oh, I completely forgot to make an excuse.

"That's my friend Keefe!" she told them. She knew that wasn't going to be enough, so she mustered the courage to make eye contact with Edaline (she would be less skeptical about her excuse, so Sophie would be less stressed about worrying whether they could see through her lies or not). 

"They're a friend I made online. I went out for some air today, and came across them. They don't really have a home to stay in, so I offered to let them live with us."

There, that (mostly) wasn't a lie.

"They don't have anything on them, but they'd be willing to work in the shop. Right Keefe?"

She turned towards them, half hoping that she could telepathically tell them to agree. 

They nodded. "Yeah, I'll help out."

"I'm sorry that you're in a situation like this," Edaline said.

"We're willing to let them live with us," Grady continued. "We'll have to deal with the issue of having a piece of identification, if we wanted to pay them-"

"Put whatever you pay me in Foster's name. It'll be easier that way."

Sophie turned back towards her parents, and saw that they were sharing a look (it reminded her of the way that they would look at each other whenever Jolie was indirectly brought up, back when Sophie had only just learned of her.

"Okay, we can do that for now. Now, the both of you should come inside, you're drenched. Eda, get some towels."

They went inside, and Sophie noticed that Keefe was staring around in awe. She walked up to him. 

"It's a flower shop," she whispered to them. "That's what you'll be helping out with. They'll probably not ask too many questions now, but there'll be more in the morning. Got it?"

"Got it. Also, are there supposed to be more peo-"

"Okay, we should be good," Biana's voice echoed through the shop. "We'll go looking for- Sophie! You're back!"

Sophie turned towards her, just in time to see Biana run up towards her.

"Are you in the mood for a hug- oh… you're drenched. Is everything alright?"

"Biana?" she murmured. You're… here… what about-

The sound of even more footsteps jolted her from her thoughts, and she looked and saw Fitz. Before she could say anything else, he ran up to her. She could see his face much more clearly, his eyes looked red, and his hair was a mess. Had he been crying?

"Sophie, I'm so glad that you're back," he whispered.

"Everything was fine though!" She hoped that her voice would be believable, but the sudden proximity and the words he spoke were making it harder to think.

"You can tell us what happened, but you and your friend should get changed," he said.

Sophie took Keefe upstairs, and found some of Fitz's clothes and gave those to them so they could get changed.

"Oh, they're a bit big on you," Sophie remarked after they both finished. Fitz was taller, and had more weight.

They stretched casually. "They're comfy. Your crush has good taste."

She sputtered. "What?"

Keefe smirked. "Really Foster, do you seriously think that I couldn't tell based on the way you two were staring into each other's eyes? Besides, your heart was glowing pink. That usually means love."

"Look-"

"Yeah yeah, I'll behave. You gotta go tell them that story again. Seriously though, what a lame story."

"I'm really bad at being put on the spot, alright? I had to make it believable!"

"Well, can't do anything about it now. I just have to roll with it."

They went back down, and she once again explained her excuse as to what had happened, and why Keefe was with her. It was easier to explain this time, because she now had the story in her head. All she had to do was make sure that she didn't contradict herself.

"So, Keefe's staying here?" Biana asked. "Okay, I'll go show them around. Come on Keefe!"

Sophie watched in amusement as Biana grabbed Keefe's arm and pulled them up the stairs, the blond protesting about "being able to walk by myself."

"Are you hungry?" Edaline asked. "Do you want us to take out dinner for you?"

"That would be nice, thank you." Now that it was mentioned, Sophie did feel hungry.

Both her parents went to the kitchen to reheat the meal, and now it was just her and Fitz in the room. 

"I know that it's more complicated than what you said," Fitz whispered, taking her hands in his. "You don't normally go out for a walk by yourself unless you're upset. I'm sorry that I didn't notice it when I was the last person to see you."

I felt bad because you left. I thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore. But... you're still here.

She didn't want to worry him though, so she kept quiet.

"If Keefe gives you trouble, or if something's wrong, you can tell me, okay?"

"It'll be fine. But okay, I'll tell you if it's not."

And things would be fine. They'd have to be.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Taglist- @keefeinnit @impostertamsong @my-swan-song @subrosasteath @tiergan-andrin-alenefar

Want to be added/removed from the taglist? Just let me know! (You can also specify whether if for all kotlc fics or just this one story)

[the-omni-princess]

Beauty and the Beast (Soulmate AU)

Author: @the-omni-princess​

Summary: You wake up the day after drunkenly meeting your soulmate.

Prompt: “When did you learn how to figure skate?” // “I dunno.”

Word Count: 1.8K

Pairing: Bucky x Latina!(and Mutant!)reader

Warnings: fluff! Hangovers, seriously, so much fluff!!!

A/N:

@bitchassbucky for #abitchassholiday , and the casual sequel to Sleeping Beauty! [Read here!]

-

I’ve been dying to write a Latina!Reader since I’m Latina! Here’s my first one. It's still pretty lowkey tbh but hopefully I can write one where it’s a bit more explicit the reader’s Latina! :D

-

[Masterlist] [First part]

-

Previously….

He did however, let you go, just as you stopped screaming. “Do… do you know who you are?” you tried in a soft voice, still on edge. Where the fuck was Mr. Star Spangled Ass?

“Bucky… My name was Bucky,” he whispered softly, now looking down at his chest where his mark had deepened in color to darker freckles, easily shown on his light skin.

Your eyes widened, looking down at your hand, your own freckles became more pronounced as well. “Holy shit,” you mumbled, just as Steve and Tony burst through the door, making you both jump.

“Bucky?” It took him less time to recover, now noticing both of you skimming your marks with your hands in shock. “Wait… are you two…?” His eyes glanced back and forth between the two marks.

You looked up towards the Super Soldier, unsure how to really explain the dare that tossed you at your soulmate. “Um…. Hi… Soulmate?”

--

James Buchanan Barnes, the infamous sidekick of Captain America, a fact you used to argue about in US History class when you were younger since who would call that hot guy the sidekick?!, just looked at you with a little tilt to his head. “Soulmate?” he murmured softly, looking down at his mark on his chest. His eyes widened as he took in the multitude of darker freckles. He looked back at you, following your own gaze to your hand, where the freckles had darkened on the underside of your palm. “Soulmate…”

“Well… that’s unexpected to say the least,” Steve muttered, both he and Sharon looking on with a bit of amusement.

Bucky looked up, noticing the blond couple for the first time. “Stevie?” His voice cracked, and even in your very buzzed state, you could tell Steve was also a little emotional.

“Hey Buck,” he replied, smiling sadly before looking again towards you.

You were now gripping the table for support, the room starting to spin. “Ay Dios, is the room spinning or is it just me?” Your eyes fluttered a bit, vertigo hitting you full force, just as Bucky rushed forward, catching you before you could hit the ground. You groaned softly, looking up at his face, a goofy smile lighting up your features. “Oh, yeah. You’re my soulmate. You know, I always thought you were cuter than Cap. Think I have a thing from brunet boys with pretty blue eyes, and your eyes are way more blue than I could have imagined with those black and white photos,” you continued to ramble, babbling on as the trio watched in amusement.

“First meeting with her literal other half, and she’s wasted,” Sharon sighed softly, now looking at you with pity.

“And the reindeer- hey! I’m not wasted!” You cried out before going back to your rambles.

Bucky just looked up at her, smiling faintly, as he held you up, “I can handle a drunk dame, better than my ma, she was a cursing drunk.”

Steve chuckled, helping Bucky lead you, very slowly towards the common room where you promptly passed out snuggled on a blanket on the sofa, completely oblivious to the fact that the former Winter Soldier was being introduced to the Avengers, while all he did was watch over you.

--

Searing pain lit up behind your eyes, and your temple was definitely throbbing. Groaning, you reached around your bed for your phone, freezing when you realized you were most definitely not in a bed. You looked down and groaned, you were also still in the party dress from last night, wrapped in a blanket that was also most definitely not yours. You inspected it, noticing the little cobwebs and widow symbols on the fluffy blanket. So, you were wrapped in Natasha’s blanket, the one you got her for her birthday last year as a joke. Looking around, you also realized you were in the main living common area in the tower.

“FRIDAY? How’d I get here?” you called out, groaning softly as you clutched your temples. You were most definitely hungover.

“I can answer that,” a voice called, one you recognized as Steve.

“Lower your voice, you menace, I’m nursing a shitty hangover.” You pulled the blanket over your face, covering yourself from the lights.

“We’re well aware of that, dollface,” a new voice joined in.

You stiffened, slowly dropping the blanket and looking at the man in front of you in surprise. “Hey Steve? I haven’t gotten drunk in a while, are hallucinations normal for being hungover?”

“Nope, I’m real.” Bucky stood, before kneeling beside you. “How much of last night do you remember?”

You gripped the blanket tighter, feeling a bit more exposed than you would like. “Last night? Why would I need-“ your voice died as you looked down at your hands, realizing the freckles that covered the palm of your left hand were darker. “Holy shit, please don’t tell me I met my soul mate and I was too wasted to remember,” you groaned, pouting up at Sharon who walked in. “You get a perfect, they-were-neighbors story, and I get the I-was-drunk story.”

“Not everyone can meet their soulmate because they literally bumped into them, besides,” Steve nodded towards Bucky, who was still kneeling beside the couch. “You literally fell for him.”

You looked back towards the brunet with horror written on your face. “Please tell me it wasn’t as cliché as Mr. Dramatically Yeets Himself Off of Planes Without Parachutes is making it out to be.”

“What does ‘yeet’ mean?” Bucky gave you a small confused look, one you have to admit was pretty cute. Okay fine, maybe he was your type. Dark-haired, pretty eyes, cute dimples when he was smiling. Okay so he was gringo, you could work with that.

“Throw, well basically,” you supplied, much to Steve’s horror.

“You do WHAT?!” Bucky cried out, making Steve cringe, and you whimper softly, closing your eyes in pain.

“Welp, we’ll let you two get well acquainted, sober at least,” Steve grabbed Sharon’s hand and hightailed out of the room.

Bucky didn’t give them a second look, now focused on you. “Damn, I’m sorry, after all your rambles last night I still forgot you would be hungover. Here,” he gently gave you some aspirin and water, which you promptly downed. “How about we do this right? I’m Bucky.”

“I’m well aware of who you are. Used to have fights with my friend in high school because she thought Steve was the cutest Howling Commando, when it was clearly you. Why am I still rambling?”

“It’s quite alright, I find it cute,” he gave you a bright smile, and your heart fluttered for a second.

You chuckled softly, smiling at him before sitting up, making room for him on the sofa as you told him your full name. “But that’s just the government name, everyone ‘round here calls me y/n/n, or FireCracker but that’s usually just Tony.” You gave him a smile.

“Why FireCracker?”

“Well, two reasons. One, I tend to keep talking and say my mind. And two,” you held up your hand, letting flames cover your fingers before they died out again. “I have powers…I hope that’s alright by you,” you whispered softly. Truth was, both the fact that you were Latina and were a Mutant were reasons you were teased and mocked growing up in all-white schools in the South. It was another reason who were so quick to join the Avengers when you were offered the chance. More diverse, and more accepting people. In theory at least.

“God, that looks absolutely amazing! Can you do it again?” Bucky gushed, eyes lighting up as he watched your powers. You smiled shyly, letting a small flame light up your palm. “Does it hurt?” He asked softly.

“Only if I want it to,” you looked up at him, caught a little off guard that he would be so interested in your powers instead of scared, it usually took people more time to get used to it.

“Woah,” he murmured, eyes wide as he took in the flames.

You smiled bashfully, secretly excited that he liked your powers. The flames died out, soon revealing the freckles again. Bucky hesitantly took your hand in his, his thumb rubbing over the freckles that marked the first place you touched, two souls finally coming back together again.

“How about I take you on a date, doll? A real one, since our first meeting didn’t go as expected.”

You blushed, nodding with a smile. “I know just the thing! We can go to the Rockefeller Ice Skating Rink, take in the whole Christmas season.”

His eyes lit up, “That ice rink is still there?!” he cried out, excitement thinly vied in his voice. “Gosh, I remember Stevie falling face-first when we were younger, had to patch up that nasty bruise on his cheek and a broken nose. Ma was pissed we went without my sisters.”

You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you took in his joy. “I’ll take you, Bucky.”

--

“Well… its certainly different from when I was last here,” Bucky’s grip on your mittened hand tightened. Buried underneath scarves and jackets, Bucky helped you pull your beanie down. He naturally ran warm because of the serum, so he didn’t need as many heavy coats in the cold winter weather. You however, were more used to warmer climates, and this cold weather was not agreeing with you.

“Good different?” You took the skates from the attendant, handing Bucky his before attempting to tie up your own.

“Well the tree’s certainly bigger,” he chuckled, noticing your struggle to lace your skates up and helping you before tugging you onto your feet. Shimmying to the rink itself, gripping onto each other as the earth became ice underneath your feet. You yelped, clinging to him as he guided you on the ice. “And I have my soulmate in my arms, being an adorable mess,” he teased, chuckling as you shot him a glare.

“That’s no fair Buck! When did you learn how to figure skate?” You looked up at him incredulously, still struggling despite the fact that he was holding most of your weight up.

“I dunno.” He teased right back, a smug grin on his lips.

“Ya know, if I knew you would have been this self-satisfied, I would have just done a Christmas movie marathon with you instead, get you well acquainted with movies of this century,” you shot back, giving him a look that sent him into a fit of giggles – actual giggles.

“Well doll, the night’s young, and you have plenty to teach me.” He pulled you closer, making you realize you were dead center in the rink, a suspicious flash in the distance making you notice Nat taking picture of you two. He gently tilted your head up, locking eyes with you. “I just found you, dollface, I’m never letting you go,” he smirked, “my clumsy little soulmate.”

“Call me little or clumsy again and I’ll roast your ass, Barnes, literally,” you growled playfully, giving him a mischievous look, which told him you didn’t really mean it.

He smiled, his hand gently holding onto your face, “I look forward to it, doll,” he murmured, the distance between the two of you closing.

Closing the distance, you kissed him tenderly, arms wrapped around his neck, ignoring the flashes most definitely coming from Natasha. Here, cuddled up in your soulmate’s embrace, the hand that first touched right over his heart was now pressed against his cheek as you kissed. Surrounded by Christmas lights, sweet Holiday music, and children’s laughter as they skated around you two, it felt like your very own piece of a Hallmark movie. And who were you to disagree with Fate?

------

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Permanent Tags:

@minetticatinwonderland​  / @lumar014​ / @maniacproffesor​ / @gollyderek​ / @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ / @avengerstones​ / @momc95​ / @loving-life-my-way​ / @agentpeggybarnes​ / @marvelmaree​ / @thefridgeismybestie​ / miraclesoflove  / hello-fanfiction-goodbye-grades  / deathofmissjackson

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@xetoilerouge / @amlocked​ / @bitsandbobsandstuff​

For a tag, just reply/comment, if I don’t see it, just message me. Tell me what you think! Literally, any comment makes me happy! Like, comment, reblog, interact <3

[rosalietodd013]

Always

A/N: This is one of the many one-shots I have been thinking about writing lately. I have not felt up to writing in a good minute and writing this made me realize just why I love writing so much and that I miss it. Forgive me if it is a bit rough around the edges; I might rewrite it later.

Summary: No matter what happens, she’ll always be there for him.

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Warnings: Major Character Death, Angst

Word Count: 1,412

I couldn’t let him go alone. I just couldn’t.

I knew how much this meant to him and I could only imagine what might happen if he went on his own, and I couldn’t let him.

If I found out that the woman who gave birth to me was out there somewhere, I would do anything to find her as well.

No one could have known it would have gone down the way it did though.

…

He tried to hide it from me in the beginning, but I knew him well enough to know when something was up.

I waited for him to come to me like he always did when something was bothering him or he found something out that he did want to keep to himself but he wasn’t really ready to share with anyone else. But he never did.

“What’s up, Jay?”

I cornered him in an alley during patrol. Bruce was on the other side of the city dealing with some low lives like Jason and I just had so I knew we had a little bit of time before he became suspicious of our lack of movement.

“What are you talking about?” His reply was nonchalant but I could feel him stiffen slightly at my question.

“I know you are hiding something from me, Jay. I didn’t think we were keeping secrets from one another.”

Jason had been my best friend since Bruce adopted us. First him, then me a few weeks later. Gotham street rats we were and we bonded quickly because of it.

We didn’t trust our ‘good fortune’ in the beginning; ready to bail if things became the least bit sketchy, but they never did. We trusted each other. Over time we opened up more and more to one another and somewhere in the mix feelings were shared and romance blossomed.

Fast forward a few years and we are literally inseparable. I would die for him and I know he would do the same for me in a heartbeat. We have complete confidence in one another and that’s why I know he’ll tell me what’s going on in his mind.

“I found my birth mother.” He said softly. “She’s alive and I plan on going to meet her.”

I’m in shock at first. I didn’t even know Jason was adopted. I don’t even know how he knew. How’d he find out? How’d he find her? Where was she? Did Bruce know? I didn’t voice any of these questions at first.

“I’m going with you.” Is all I said.

From the look on Jason’s face, he wants to protest. Maybe he wants to do this on his own. Maybe he doesn’t want me to get in trouble in case things go sideways or Bruce finds out. Maybe he doesn’t want me there in case she isn’t who she says she is. Honestly, all of this is why I should go with him. He might not realize it, but he’ll need moral support regardless of what happens. And I will be there to give it to him.

“Non-negotiable Jay.” I cut him off before he can get his protest out. “I’m going with you because I know you didn’t tell Bruce or Dick and I am not letting you go alone.”

He looks at me for a good few minutes, truly contemplating what I have said and for a moment I think he is still going to refuse me, but he instead pulls me into the sweetest most passionate kiss we have shared since our first time and I am eager to reciprocate.

“I got your back, my love. Always.” I say as I rest my forehead against his and he wraps his arms tight around my waist.

“What would I do without you?”

“I don’t think you ever want to find out.”

We laugh softly into the chilled Gotham air before our communicators beep and Batman’s voice can be heard.

“Robin, (Y/S/N), meet me on the roof of the GCPD. Commissioner Gordan has new information we need to see.”

“On our way.”

…

It didn’t even go how I imagined it would.

When Jason told me about this Shelia Haywood, something just felt off. I didn’t know what and I really didn’t want to worry Jason with my unsubstantiated suspicions or ruin this for him, so I kept my mouth shut and God do I wish I’d done more.

It was a set up from the beginning. He told me she knew he was Robin, but he didn’t realize just how much power was in that information.

She sold us out to the Joker of all people. I don’t care why she did it, but it broke my heart not only when we found out, but the look on Jason’s face when the psychopath killed her right in front of him. She might have been a piece of shit but she was still his mother. I just knew he would never recover.

And he never got the chance.

That clown tied us to chairs and made us watch as he beat the two of us back and forth. First Jason, then me.

I was sure each blow would hit just the right spot to end this nightmare, but he obviously knew what he was doing.

By the time he finished with us, neither I nor Jason could barely move or breathe. I could hear his quick shallow breaths and I knew for sure one of his lungs must be collapsed. There was a gash somewhere above his hairline that caused blood to run into his beautiful blue eyes, not that it mattered much seeing as though they were practically swollen shut.

I could hear Joker getting ready to leave and say something cruel and meaningless, but all I could focus on was my Jason.

When the door finally slammed shut and the clown’s laughter was gone, I used all my strength to rip my hands out of the ropes binding them.

Once I was free, I limped over to a barely conscious Jason and undid his bindings as well.

“Come on Jay. We can’t stay here.”

I tried with all my might to pull him up and out of his chair but only succeeded in causing us both to topple to the floor.

I let out a quick cry of pain and I could hear a muffled moan from my boyfriend. From the undistinguished sounds coming from him, it appeared as though he was trying to say something, but I had to get us out of there first.

“Hold on Jay. I’m gonna get us out of here.”

I hobbled to the door, the pain in my legs increasing with every step I took. But I refused to give up.

The door was locked when I got to it but I couldn’t stop now. Jason was counting on me.

I pulled with all my might and after a few unsuccessful attempts, the lock on the door finally gave way and it swung open just a crack.

I let out a cross between a laugh and a cry as I turned back to my companion who was lying on the floor on the other side of the cabin facing away from me.

“I got it open my love. We can go now.” I said as I neared him.

His breathing was no longer noisy but I assumed that was because he was unconscious. No matter. I’ll drag him out of here if I have to.

I laid my hands on his shoulder to turn him over and I could actually feel all the blood in my body turn to ice.

He wasn’t breathing. I could actually feel his skin chilling with the frigid temperatures outside.

Jason. The love of my life. My soulmate. Was gone.

I didn’t realize how much worse he got it than me. How quickly he was deteriorating. And now he was no more.

He’d left me right before we had our freedom. Freedom I didn’t want without him.

I didn’t look at the door as I collapsed in front of him.

I didn’t hear the tick tick ticking not five feet away from us as I laid my forehead against his, wrapping his lifeless arms around me.

I couldn’t hear the faint sound of a motorbike speeding towards the cabin as I spoke my final words.

“I love you, Jason Todd. Forever and always.”

There was nothing but darkness after that.

A/N: I want to apologize to everyone for my lack of presence. It has been far too long. I have suffered writer's block, school has been an issue then work, I had a major death in my family and then COVID-19. I feel like a big ball of excuses tbh. Now I want to take some time to focus on my writing. I plan on continuing Forever, Together, and the Ours series, and I have a few new things I have in the works but everything else is on an indefinite hiatus but definitely not discontinued. Please feel free to message me with questions, comments, concerns, random facts about your day. Anything is welcome. I will be back soon!