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#maybe due to growing up with them
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Go ahead. Tell me I'm wrong
WHY would I when you are correct
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shokveyv · 4 months
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shut up
#transformers#maccadam#drama#i like the cover#people saying it's too 'sexy' are the problematic sexists#this same shit happened with z0ner's cover. yes i bullied her too because i believed the stupid shit you guys were saying#I MANAGED TO GROW UP BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL DOING THIS TOXIC SEXIST ASS DANCE#i thought i was the bad person but honestly it's yall and your bullying asses#you're disgusting for bullying artists just because they draw women how they want#GROW UP.#I LOVE DRAWING CURVY SLIM SEXY ROBOT GIRLS#THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT#WE SHOULD FILL THE WORLD WITH MORE OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE#IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING ELSE... DO IT YOURSELF!!!! MAYBE ONE DAY THE COMPANY WILL LIKE YOUR ART ENOUGH TO HAVE IT ON A COVER#i like milne's stocky arcee just as much as average arcee from TFA just as much as svelte arcee in this cover#i really thought it was me that was why i left the fandom due to my ignorance but coming back and seeing this petty ass drama you guys#are unleashing... im realising that you guys are the problematic ones. omfg#you make it so unfun to be in this fandom. might as well publish the most recent animation i was working on then take the ones i've already#finished into hiding. you people suck the joy out of drawing for transformers.#transformers was my last bastion out of depression and you guys reminded me why people shouldn't get into transformers#getting back into tf revitalized my desire to draw and held me back from suicide. but knowing how toxic environment you guys are...#there's no reason to keep living with such inhospitable negative toxic bullies.
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skeletalheartattack · 3 months
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
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yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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trollbreak · 4 months
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Ouhhhhhhhh the imagery of ripping out your own heart to present it to someone with shaking hands as blood soaks your clothes and stains the floor
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plaquerat · 5 months
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ghouls are a very long lived species but i think. omega is actually one of the younger ones. like barely older than terzo. they grew up together. :)
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holydramon · 4 months
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person who voted that I’d like the beginning more than the tri movies: I feel like you should know I am one of the biggest tri lovers there is. that was the least safe bet there. that said I admire your guts.
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Contemplating the concept of "potential" when it comes to intelligence and realizing how heartbreaking Logan's "Dreams come true, that's news to me" line in the Crofters Musical.
#screaming into the void#definitely not okay today lads#i'm finding myself grieving my intelligence and contemplating if it was ever there to begin with#when i was younger i excelled in science so everyone assumed that i was a gifted kid despite my very obvious struggles in math and spelling#i was told over and over if i could just apply myself to other subjects the way i did with science#then i would do better in those subjects and reach my full potential#my identity was hung on my intelligence for me by the adults in my life none of them even considering a learning disability#now as an adult it all feels meaningless#especially having been forced into going to college where it was made very quickly and abundantly clear that I wasn't actually gifted#i was just average#that was absolutely devastating to me and it's a thing i struggle with and i want to be angry about it but i dont know how to be#i was told over and over in childhood that i could be anything when i grew up that i could do anything if i just put my mind to it#then recieved little to no actual educational support for any of it especially when i discovered writing#and i dont know if i was never as smart as i was told i was or never even had the potential i was told i had#or if i just didnt have enough support#i dont believe in myself anymore and i dont think i was ever actually believed in by the adults in my life either#i think they would have supported me better if they had#or maybe they just didnt know how to#my dad has wondered and questioned me about where my drive ans passion went and i dont have the heart to tell him that#it evaporated when he told me i wouldn't be successful as a writer when he told me that i would only be successful by going to college#when he constantly questioned everything i did and made me doubt myself over and over again#i dont know how to combat this feeling of worthlessness that comes from feeling lied to about my intelligence as a kid#i dont know how to comfort myself in the face of realizing i probably didnt have all then potential i was promised i had#and even if i did at one point have it i lacked the support necessary to nuture and grow it#how does one grieve being promised the world only to find out that was never truly an option?#how does one become comfortable with learning and growing again when it's been made to feel unsafe#and a threat to their frail sense of identity?#how does one find peace and contentment in an ordinary life when they were promised so much more?#not just promised so much more but expected to be so much more and now feel the weight of expectation on them?#i feel like i was promised the world and told that it would be easy to conquer and when it wasnt it was due to my own fault and failings
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tkbrokkoli · 4 months
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i think a thing im v passionate abt is music. or rather, listening to music. i listen to it when i work, when i drive, when i clean, when i walk. i spend several hours every day listening to music. once during a trip i didn't have the time to listen to music for several days and when i finally turned on some music it felt like the world was suddenly filled w more color and life. i once was so overwhelmed w awe and beauty listening to a song for the first time that it caused me to have a panic attack. in, like, a good way, like, wow, look at that song, it touched me so deeply that i lost control of my body for a moment. i sometimes get teary eyes or goosebumps when listening to music. i listen to the same song for hours on repeat. i don't know anything abt making music btw. i took guitar lessons for some time but im not talented or good at it and it took too much effort to continue. i love the sounds a guitar makes though. i also don't remember any music theory. i have a friend who's naturally talented at playing the guitar but they didn't enjoy it but even after years of not having picked up a guitar they can still play songs at birthday parties. i think it's funny that they are naturally good at it but they hate doing it and i love it but im not good at it at all.
#not fandom related#music#the song that caused me to have a panic attack is 'you don't know' by pieridian pool btw#anyway idk why i just made that post i was just cleaning up after dinner and listening to music and thought abt#how much i love music but how little im involved w it#maybe one day ill pick up the guitar again. its too much effort rn and i dont have the energy or time to commit myself to it#i think if i didn't have a phone or access to the internet i would just teach myself how to play the guitar#and my only hobbies would be playing the guitar and listening to music#on a different note im officially 5 months on T and ive passed to strangers 2 times so far 🥳#yesterday we got locker keys for a practical and were assigned either a key to the men's or women's locker room#and the person assigning the keys gave me one for the men's room. just basedon my looks#i don't remember if i said anything or if i just stepped up to them. i made a recording of my morning voice a few days ago#and it sounds like that typical trans guy voice early in transitioning.l#im still surprised that i pass bc i dress the same as i have been for many years. im letting my hair grow out. i got some beard hairs on my#face but they're rly sparse and i trim them every day and you can rly only see them in bright light or when standing close#so it's like. i must have changed in some way due to T that im not aware of and it's nice to pass. like a weight off my chest. or rather#im experiencing life the way it's supposed to be c:
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neverendingford · 5 months
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.
#tag talk#fuck. I might just be a straight woman.#like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood.#sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity.#anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life#because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am#yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men#I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others#and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up#and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did.#all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track.#and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself#but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself#still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event.#I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool.#I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it#talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things#and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic#but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's.#and this is how my identity works.#it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives.#we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way.#anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend#we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good#he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think.#which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel#the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.
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festivalofthe12 · 4 months
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmm when it comes to Kyou I sometimes worry if I'm being too hard on him through like a certain kind of projection, right
but. I can't be... the only one to think there's at least..a little bit of a...victim complex in him, right...?
WHICH: to clarify straight up, he was treated awfully and never deserved any of that, and is all-around 100% a victim who's right to think of himself as such. All of that is correct!!!!!!
but. The whole STORY. is that the cat is the one animal who gets exiled. The one 'bad' one. The one who's ostracised.
And with that comes a certain... I mean, it's a bit easier to think of yourself as the victim, when that's the way everyone frames it, right? That you're the one who's been hard done by? That everyone else has it out for you? That to make things right, everything should be inverted, so everyone apologises and bows down to him for once???
Especially with Yuki. And, again to be fair, Yuki is not at ALL immune to minimising the shit that Kyou's been dealt with because it's often the inverse of what happened to Yuki and that envy is toxic and because Yuki was raised to think that way and also just because Kyou is annoying to him personally hahah.
But. Yuki knows about Kyou's True Form. Kyou... doesn't actually know what happened between Yuki and Akito. And psychologically, there's a hell of lot to benefit him if he reaaaaaally doesn't think about it.
So. Am I being biased to think that, all things considered, Kyou is more dismissive of Yuki's struggles? And that even up through the end of the manga, he still sorta... doesn't really entirely get it?? (At least from what I remember... which is little........)
But here's where I feel like I'm projecting because. My experiences are WAY more like Yuki: pushing things down, trying to do the right thing, feeling like you're just supposed to be grateful for what you have because you've been so privileged. And people who match the sorta description I have of Kyou above have kinda. screwed me up mentally in a lot of ways hahahahahahhhh.
so. I know it's such a cliche thing to have people learn about what Yuki's been through and be so Shocked and Comforting and ooo weepy uke Yuki or what ever (ever notice how nobody ever gets mad at the smug asshole seme stereotype?? HMM.) and I know I might just be biased against Kyou, because of all that IRL stuff and also because early in fandom people kind of did IIRC act like Kyou was right about everything and Yuki not that far off from how Kyou saw him. but.
IDK there's always a part of me that just. keeps thinking up scenarios where Kyou like. still doesn't entirely gets it. and gets called out a bit, or proven wrong.
and maybe that's really dumb or childish of me hahahah;;;;;
#that's it that's the post. there's no point to it im just like. what if I did these things is that bad maybe.#and. to clarify AGAIN. i do think Kyou legit cares abt Yuki by the end#has grown a bit more than yuki in that respect#cause yuki always pitied Kyou. and I mean that in a morally neutral way. he always knew things sucked for him.#he just. was too caught up in his own shit to not react back when Kyou pushed his way into his life and was actively hostile#and I mean react back as an ongoing thing. obviously sometimes yuki initiated individual spats or whatever lol#ANYWAY by the end I think Kyou does. get to some extent that things are shit for yuki too. and wants them not to be???#to which yuki is very. 'no fucking shit. i wouldnt wish that bullshit for you either if you weren't fucking attacking me all the time' kind#but. there's still some ways for them both to grow there#tbh in yukis case. I guess due to his issues with trust/opening up.#it's harder for him to think of Kyou as someone to really care about?? consciously???#whereas like Ive said above. Kyou still thinks of himself as Worse Off than Yuki.#but he can like. Extend a Hand maybe. Graciously. for Tohru's sake as much as anyhting#I dont even fucking know Im just writing fanfic at this point#what even is this post (or any of the furuba posts on this blog)#idk maybe I should just read some Kyo/Yuki again. :///#fruits basket#look maybe I just want the zodiac crew post-canon to start gallows humour 'bragging' abt the awful shit that traumatised them as teenagers#and when it gets to yuki it's like. jesus christ even for this group thats fucked up. or maybe its just because Nobody not even Haru knew#which. great yuki even when the topic is 'haha our childhood was fucked up wasn't it' you still made things weird. <- yuki's thoughts only
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gojoest · 11 months
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Honestly, yearning feels the "best" when you listen to music that's about the lust and love you have for someone you cannot have for some reason, and you just close your eyes and daydream about being hugged and kissed. Yearning is also like a tool and inspiration for writers, so don't be afraid to write about your heart's lament.
yes yes yes ! this is my favorite thing to do with all the bottled feelings within me. it makes the longing all the more stronger though so it’s a bit self-destructive on that account but still oddly beautiful
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13eyond13 · 2 years
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Have no idea if these are both from the same anon, but would be funny if they were
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elfindreams · 2 years
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I am a normal person with a job and various normal hobbies but also if you sliced open my brain you would find a region which has existed for years and is singularly dedicated to storing my needlessly overspecific post-OOT / MM Zelda headcanons covering the span of several in-universe decades and in fact aren’t headcanons because they are all completely correct and accurate and ~thematic~
#okay so canon strongly suggests that TP Link is a descendant of OOT Link but I dislike the trope of biology/bloodlines = magic destiny#also OOT Link was raised by a talking tree and literally never even met an adult until he was like. eleven.#therefore dude has no attachment to the concept of marriage or a ✨nuclear family✨ and by the time he grows into adulthood again#he gives like. negative fucks about anything. he’s paid his dues to the world man.#therefore he ends up in some kind of polycule thing + raises a bunch of kids some of whom are maybe ‘’his’’ but several are adopted orphans#so like. inherited generational Stuff is going on and he’s a parent in every way that matters but as far as biological ancestry: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#he obsessively teaches them all the survival skills he knows but is super lax in most other respects#(no sword training tho bc he didn’t want them to HAVE to know and then by the time he was maybe ready he physically couldn’t anymore)#and is thrilled to see them turn all rowdy and rebellious bc he feels like his life would’ve gone better if he’d been that way as a kid#in the same way that Link was somewhat modeled after Peter Pan (or really one of the lost boys to be more accurate)#the kids end up akin to Robin Hood and the outlaws especially after Link dies at a fairly young age bc they’re quite reasonably like#‘’hey fuck you queen Zelda you ruined our dad’s life fuck off fuck offffffffff’’#(cue them being derisively called a wolf pack—foreshadowing the whole Assigned Wolf Fursona at Death thing lmfao)#this ends up being extremely relevant to 1.) what happened to the actual ocarina of time between MM and TP#2.) Ordona becoming a semi-independent province within that timespan as well#but BEFORE ALL THAT HAPPENS so like relations between Hyrule and the Gerudo people are like. Very Poor at this point. for many reasons.#so by the time zelda actually becomes the ruling queen—
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morbid-bvnny · 1 year
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#mentions of su^cide this is a vent post so maybe don’t read#I woke up at 4am from a nightmare and haven’t been able to fall back asleep due to chronic overthinking and stress#it’s always early morning or late at night that my disorder starts fucking with me most#when I have literally no one to turn to#my head is so far under water that I have no idea what to do and it’s fucking tearing me apart#I’ve been struggling financially for about about a year and a half now and it just seems to get worse#no matter what I try to do to make it better#I’ve changed jobs I’ve worked multiple jobs I’ve asked for raises I’ve tried to get as much overtime as possible#but im literally killing myself every day just to barely be scraping by and it fucking so bad#im such a fucking failure in life I can’t do a single thing right and every door I open is a dead end#im starting to think that there’s nothing for me and there’s no place that I fit in#on top of financial stress I am struggling with a chart full of mental illnesses all of which I am unmediated for#you guess it^also financial. I cannot even afford to pay for my meds and I’ve been off them for the year and a half I’ve been struggling#this whole year and a half I made friends and I’ve lost them just as quickly#I literally crave connections with people but I have no idea how to even remotely communicate that to anyone#I can’t make friends I’m as uninteresting as it gets and I’m distant and communicating is a struggle for me#I want friends but I lack the understanding of what helps friendships grow#I feel so alone on a day to day basis it’s depressing and I’m at a point where I feel like I could k^ll myself and nobody would even notice#or care for that matter#I’ve noticed the things that kept me from committing are no longer things that hold me back#rather they’ve turned into reason to go through with it instead and the only thing keeping me alive is not having the means to do it#I think the world will be exactly as it is without me and I’ve made no real difference in anyone’s life for it to even stir up emotion#the world keeps moving#people will say oh that’s so sad when they hear about it#and they will move on as if nothing happened#the burdens I’ve brought on my family will be gone and ultimately they would be much better off without me here#I guess it’s only a matter of time at this point
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triglycercule · 8 days
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i come up with ideas based on the most random things because wdym i just rambled on about fucking fingers and decided,,,, heh,,,,, yeah. this is a good idea. well i mean i do think it IS a good idea but also like in hindsight and out of context i do think its totally fucking stupid. angel92 ahh post 💀💀💀
anyways i was thinking about mtt and fingers and which ones they would lose as a result of being with eachother but then that also means that i'd have to give specific meanings to the fingers (ughhhh,,,,,) ok lets see. pointer finger would represent precision and clear vision because you literally use it to specifically gesture to things. middle finger is like ughh vulgarity and hatred because its the middle finger. the ring finger (heh! i already spoke about this one because of the myth that its connected to the heart and also holds wedding rings) represents love and the pinkie represent promise (PINKIE PROMISE!) and the thumb represents basic functioning and interpretations (because the thumb helps us literally hold things and also thumbs up and down shows your view on things)
i think if i just tack this idea onto the other post about ring fingers then it would be kinda unrealted + plus too long SO ITS GOING HERE. all the mtt are missing ring fingers because i said so. dust is missing an index finger because if the trio break up he's the only one that wouldnt have anywhere/one to go. also he'd struggle to smoke and i think that horror would always complain about him smoking so it'd be like horror's still kinda there warding him off from smoking even though he's not there anymore. horror would lose his middle finger because he'd probably be the most agressive against kist in mttpoly and now without them there he's kinda chilled out. but also the agression and spark isnt there and now he's stuck in plain old boring regular horrortale again which isnt all that fun,,,, even if dust an killer sucked fighting was a way to pass time. but horror would never admit that. and i think killer could lose a thumb (ill be fr im just running out of fingers to use here. next thing yk i'll start talking about TOES) and then he'd struggle to hold knives normally now. he literally can't hurt others the way he hurt horror and dust (but also that could also mean that killer just has to come up with more creative ways to main. or also his reduced actions could result in him causing less trouble and therefore having less threats. depends on if killer wants to be a bit more knife happy or just chil,,,,,, you KNOW i gotta go with the knife happy idea mtt NEVER get a break and if they do i immediately forget about it)
dude imagine them with all these missing fingers 💀💀💀 that shit would lookd SO weird
#triglycercule's on a BIT of a roll coming up with ideas#i dont particularly know why tbh i guess i've just gotten over this slump of not having ideas#i already have 3 other decent ISH ideas in my notes app i should probably figure thst out#and then of course i have my ever growing pile of drafts on here#i cleared some of them out so now i have 40~ but thats still a SHITTON of ideas ive yet to post#on the other post ive yet to post i got too fucking into the idea#like WDYM the mtt would all just COINCIDENTALLY lose their ring fingers#its a cool idea tho..... just seems a bit unfeasible to me but whatever everything is impossible snyways#i have summer homework due on tuesday ive yet to do i should REALLY probably do that#and a test im 90% sure im gonna BOMB on monday. its the EIGHTH DAY OF FUCKING SCHOOL AND A TEST#i havent even gotten used to doing HOMEWORK again and my bitchass math techer is giving us a TEST.... smh old people#anyways mtt have 2 hands all so they can beat eachother up#polyamory solves everything but the solution isn't all much healthier than if the trio just fucking stayed ALONE 😭😭😭😭#ugh i need them all to kill eachother SERIOUSLY and then they feel bad but also satisfied about it but also bad but also#what would that feeling be like as a word. what word would that be (asks killer because he doesnt know shit about emotions$#they are NOT doomed by the narrative but ALSO NOT soulmates in every universe (debatable in my head)#but instead they were never meant to be together and because they were never meant to be together they simply dont work#but just having that constant even if it hurts and you hate it and everything it stands for when you've had nothing that understands you#is just kinda like. damn. okay i might stay like this for a while#they are not doomed by the narrative they are doomed by each other#gawwwdddd i love mtt so much..... mttpoly..... they were mesnt to be#but didn't you just say they weren't??? ok MAYBE but its because theyre all such terrible fits thst they were meant to be#they all match eachother's freaks in a way that no other utmv character can. mtt gets mtt#the mtt have so many parallels i really should make a graph or something#they all have scary faces!!!! kinda. killer with the chara scary face#horror with his black drooly pissed face and i guess dust's shadowed out face could be scary#but i think that face would be scarier if there were realistic human eyes peeking out but wtvr#anyways all have scary face what else. theres so much more its not even funny they seriously are meant to be together#if always together in fandom art and writing and other depictions then why not poly??? why not TOGETHER together??? why mtt seperate???#tricule rant
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dutybcrne · 14 days
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The fact that Tartaglia is outright stated to have been running away from home the day he got lost in the Abyss got me THINKING,,,
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//It says it was bc of wanting to leave his ‘monotonous life’#//So he was ALWAYS abt excitement and thrill; maybe wanting to be a hero or great warrior of some sorts#//esp if he’d want to live up to his namesake#//The main part of Belle (Reprise) honestly RESONATES w him#//But ye; can you IMAGINE what must have been running through his mind?#//Maybe silently apologizing to his precious siblings for having to leave them; to his parents; bc he was too restless to stay?#//Did he think they’d hate him if he were to come back?#//Which hits harder knowing his dad was quick to send him off to the military when he came back ‘wrong’ compared to before#//Why he focuses on and dotes on his youngest siblings most over everyone else#//bc they would have still loved him as they did before; never treating him any different#//Or perhaps with MORE love and awe bc of all the stories he now has to tell of his exploits#//Teucer esp; with the lad wanting to be like him when he grows up#//Which makes Taru especially happy bc he does love the idea of seeing his baby brother take on the world as he has#//Though he certainly wants the lad to build up his own strength in due time; NOT by falling into the Abyss alone like he did#//He would like to spare Teucer and their mother that whole ordeal; thanks#//Thiugh if Teucer wanted to see and train in that place WITH him; well#//He wouldn’t be so opposed; as long as he and Teucer were both aware of it and the ramifications#//but he does like toying with the thought. Him and Teucer; against the Abyss! he likes the ring it had to it#hc; tartaglia#//Bc of some of the above jdbd#//Genuinely makes me wonder if he himself didn’t take his father shipping him off too hard BC of the monotony#//That maybe he might have been GLAD to get away from there again; now in a place where he could chase thrill& battle with WORTHY opponent#//Where he could gain MORE stories to tell his precious baby siblings; and see their little faces light up each time#//Getting a chance to be a great HERO to them#//Yet still is v well aware of how his parents and others now see him; how they Mourn the boy he once was; no matter what he does now#//Or smth idk lol#//Thinkings thinkings#//Would take it v hard when his baby siblings stop idolizing him so much; thinks they’ve come to be just like their parents& elder sibs#//He doesn’t care when it comes to the latter; but it be a genuine blow to his trust and heart. Teucer he fears this of especially
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