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#maybe i just need to rest a little
gramnel · 11 months
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absolutely unrelated arts because I didn't want to spam post it
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tumatawa · 4 months
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I wish she had more scenes... Whateva
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stuckinapril · 16 days
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Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 8 months
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oh my god oh my god oh my GODDDDDD i can’t BELIEVE i found these on my little rainy october thrift shop wander this morning. like, one would have been more MORE enough. but both?? at once??? i am quite simply floating and may never touch back down to earth
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rileys-battlecats · 26 days
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i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.
i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.
anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)
#rye.txt#growing up i got very accustomed to ignoring my own needs and just 'powering through' when i wanted/needed to get something done#which worked out relatively ok for me in school (banging my head against a wall until my brain absorbed information leading to exhaustion)#but now that im doing work that is ostensibly for my own enjoyment#i have a hard time divorcing myself from that mindset#i feel guilty if im not constantly working#which is. not great! so im trying to unlearn that#trying to let myself think 'ok my brain isn't brain-ing right now. so i should stop and rest/do something else'#my actual job is Very Emotionally Draining so sometimes i just. can't find the energy to work on my art#which sucks!! cause i love making art!! and then i think to myself 'maybe making art will make you feel better'#but then when i try it's like scraping the bottom of a dry well. trying to find water#when what i need to do is rest and let the water well up from the ground itself#but resting is HARD when you tie your self-worth to how much you can work#ough ok this got a little vent-y sorry guys#I don't want to let myself fall into the 'content creation' mindset. cause I don't think i make 'content' i make ART#and art isn't something you can just pump out mindlessly#good art. art that i can be PROUD of. that takes time and intent and energy. and I can't make that if im just scraping the bottom of a well#vent in tags#this whole post is just 'riley vs the concept that taking breaks is a moral failing'
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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bunisher · 9 days
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might be the aro in me but i think one of the reasons i don’t ship mattfoggy is because i enjoy the idea of platonic intimacy and friendship without romance. i enjoy them as best friends, because their friendship is not any less than romantic love or needs to be. especially for characters like them, i think it’s important that they have friendships that are not inherently romantic. matt, because he has severe abandonment trauma and avoidant attachment, where all of his romances have ended in some form of tragedy. he has trouble feeling comfortable with people, he feels like he has to perform in many aspects, and does not with foggy, at least not anymore. trust is a hard earned thing with him, but it’s not just about trusting with being a hero, but trusting to be himself. in regards to foggy, because he also has his own issues regarding family and not feeling accepted. he needs that friend who provides the motivation, validation, and feeling of being good enough just for being him. his insecurities often come from being underestimated, being awkward, not fitting in, and with matt he can just be. they’re able to have a relationship with each other that has rupture and repair, knowing eventually after time it’s them against conflict and not them against each other. they set the standard for each other in how romantic relationships are. they provide that safe place for love that doesn’t have the weight of being someone’s everything or partner. they’re already partners! they’re best friends. i personally am a little in love with all of my friends, and i am utterly devoted to them. i will be affectionate and supportive and loving and i am not dating them. so yeah i see how stuff could be read romantic, i understand why people enjoy the ship, i get it, i do. but it’s more powerful to me when it’s not. romance is not the end all be all and that’s why i am obsessed with their friendship without it being this stepping stone for romance or there being no other explanation.
#or maybe they’re in a QPR without it being labeled as such. that may be my new hc#i may even enjoy the hc that they did try to date for awhile and it wasn’t for them#but that’s also because i hate the idea that heteronormativity has that ppl cannot be friends with their exes#i’m also getting more into relationship anarchy because i think the focus on romance in our societies isn’t great#people irl and characters in fiction shouldn’t /need/ a romantic relationship to be fulfilled#it’s also why i don’t write my ships as super traditional with romance lmao#like no they aren’t living together. no they’re not getting married. no they’re not having a kid#their relationship does not adhere to all of these societal standards and expectations but it’s their’s and it’s real#they just enjoy each other for whatever time they have and that’s okay. they deserve that. they deserve that little break#they deserve to be able to rest and relax and no it’s not perfect but they feel understood and comfortable and it’s enough#it’s not full of pressure and this idea of scarcity. it’s because they genuinely enjoy being around each other#they’re their own people. whole and complete without each other. and then they find love and joy and comfort in each other#and it’s so special to them. their lives are constant chaos and they make time for each other bc those moments r precious to them#hell i hardly ever even label it lmfao they’re just doing stuff. they know what it is but if anybody asks it’s 🤷 who knows#and maybe that’s because of my own queerness and how it influences my writing but it’s just something i think i’ve noticed#anyways#matt murdock#foggy nelson#matt and foggy#fanfiction#amatonormativity#shipping#queer platonic ship#comics inspired#nmcu inspired#/rant#bun.txt
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ef-1 · 4 months
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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meamiiikiii · 2 months
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i will not elaborate further beyond the original notes i had:
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these are the type of thoughts i have while eating breakfast ASDASD
#isat spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat act 6 secret encounter spoilers#isaloop#in my mind this is isaloop even if u cannot see isa he is there metaphorically off screen u see#seperated from prev cuz it did not distinctly fit the sentimental vibes this is infinitely sillier to me ASFASDA#well that and i kept messing with the way i was coloring it lmao#...okay maybe i will elaborate a bit more in tags ASFASFAS#the thought process was to divvy up the most identifiable wearable items from each party member onto siffrin and loop#these items needed to be reasonably removable ofc#they were also not going to be related to their customs (no bonding earrings for example)#the original plan was to give siffrin miras shawl bonnies hat isas belt and odiles glasses#then i was like ehhhh actually idk if the dangling gem bit is like a custom thing or not since it could be???#so i switched up to odiles coat and miras gloves and rest remained#realized midway thru YOU WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SEE MIRAS GLOVES THAT WELL???#so i gave siffrin the rope belt from mira instead#as for loop the plan was always to give them miras bow and bonnies bracelet#i revisited just the glasses part for odile briefly then thought a lil more and went#i do not think odile would chuck her glasses#hence the book since i dont think i couldve reasonably removed anything else from her#the pants#the pants.#in terms of identifiability to me the striped pants are fun and striking#hence the immediate next thought in the original notes ASFASDAS#however i do not think isa would just??? chuck his pants like that???? esp in context with the rest of the party?????#but in my minds eye this was a little bit funny so yea ASDASDSA#OKAY. tag talk over it is nap time ASFAS
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invinciblerodent · 5 months
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and another very small, very minor entry on the list of Things I'm Getting Just a Tiny Little Bit Miffy About Seeing Repeated (Not Angry Just Ever So Slightly Annoyed)TM:
dnd elves do, in fact, mature at the same rate humans do. they're not "like children" or "not considered full adults" until they hit 100- not to anyone other than other, older elves.
like I get where the thought comes from, I fully understand it, I've read many of the source materials myself, I've read Mordenkainen's and see where the misunderstanding comes from, but... to a human, or a tiefling, or anyone else shorter-lived than an elf, a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old elf is just like a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old of their own race would be. they just look much younger than their age, and act in accordance with their personality, which is.... much less tied to someone's age than many may think. (I mean, have you never met a 50-year-old who seems just staggeringly immature? a 20-year-old who is wiser than their years would allow? have you never been to a retail establishment???????)
it's only the other elves who view a younger one as emotionally immature, and that's mainly because they have yet to bury their first generation of friends and loved ones: something a shorter-lived person only has to do once, while elves may very well go through several cycles of that in one lifetime. They have also not yet had their Drawing of the Veil, when they stop being able to access primal memories, memories of their soul's previous lives, but it's mainly the "all my once-powerful and vibrant friends are now frail and dying from old age, and yet here I remain, as young, strong, and beautiful as the day they met me, untouched by the inexorable crawl of time, what is mortality, what is death" thing.
if the people of Faerun in general thought of a 40-year-old elf as immature, as if they were a child, Astarion would have just patently not been an appointed civil administrator and judicial officer (which is what a magistrate is) 200 years ago. like he could have of course been lying when he said that that's what he was, but taking it as the once-truth, nobody would have let someone they see as a child fill such a position of responsibility. It was, however, a perfectly mundane thing for a learned adult man, such as he was, to do. (what he may or may not have done with the power he allegedly had, the kind of person he was, and whether letting him have power was the right move overall, is pretty much completely irrelevant at this juncture. corrupt officials exist regardless of age, just look at the judicial system of any country today.)
an older elf like Halsin, their maturity is not just on a different level, it's measured by a different metric than that of a shorter-lived character.
it's hard to accurately roleplay or grasp something like this with our human minds, none of us have ever spoken to a 300-year-old after all, but.... a 100-year-old elf is not a "young adult", unless you're an elf yourself. If you're a human, they're just... an adult.
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brionnne · 1 month
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note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.
#mithrun#i'm not devaluing his intelligence#i feel like both can be true - that someone can be really smart but also take really stupid actions conversely#i fucking KNOW i do all the time#and i don't think there's anything particularly wrong with the word#it's not that his intelligence is compromised in any sense or that i think he's incapable#and it is solely#the fact that he is a stubborn little guy who doesn't listen and just goes 'that won't work' / 'i don't want to' / etc.#like... BUDDY...#buddy BOY#dummy#you are NOT a good judge of this ok?#zip ya lip little man#i know what you are#and i ain't fuckin listening to ya!#god. 'that won't work'. blah blah blah. okay sleepy. see you next panel.#fuckin knew that was going to happen#'i'm not tired' (his body stops working and he doesn't know why)#oh. OH. you're NOT? buddy i KNOW what happened ok? you need some fuckin rest#like - i'm gonna kick your legs out from under you + you're going to fall gently into bed + i tuck you in and smooch you#but i also fucking complain because OF COURSE YOU'RE TIRED ! you bastard ! go sleepy bye#it's his poor decisions and i know why he does them - because he doesn't know - but by god#it's also a little like please... listen to yourself...#on the one hand he doesn't know and never will#on the other hand ... you have been awake for hours and hours without sleep... please get some rest...#but yeah as someone who forgets needs and has little sense of that it is like... objectively a stupid experience#and i don't say that with judgement in my heart but it feels REALLY stupid when your body does something and you don't know why#it's not the disability though that makes me say as much - it is fully the fact that he is SO STUBBORN! SO STUBBORN!!!!#you say you're not tired and fall down? hm? then maybe you are? i know you don't know but whatever. let's get you to bed boy. ok?#caring for him + shaking my head like i get it so much but you gotta sleep! 'this won't work'. ok liar... i already know it will.
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dnalt-d2 · 3 months
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Alright so I said earlier today that I'd be drawing requests for a bit (And I'm still accepting requests btw just to let you know) and I've got two of them done, and here's one from @kokoholman! Hope you like it!
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Now I wasn't able to add all the eggs because wrist problems, but here you go!
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(I also wanna note that if I could draw the other Eggs, I would've had Richas on a skateboard, Pomme on a dinosaur, and Dapper either on a Fel Horse, or chasing after Pomme because she stole his Fel Lantern. I also wanted to have Leo just sorta hanging back and not actually racing, but just relaxing. That just feels like her vibe, you know?? I was still thinking of ideas for the other Eggs, but I'd already decided to just draw these four by that point so just sorta stopped lmao)
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flowercrowngods · 7 months
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always so funky to be reminded that your parents might love you but they don’t actually like you very much
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cutter-kirby · 9 months
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okay so i’ve been gone all day so i’m finally posting my fionna and cake initial thoughts. and since i’ve seen only a few people talking about my second favorite alternate finn, i’d thought i’d share the big thing i was thinking about during episode 5.
how the fuck does farmworld finn have that many kids???????
so i’ve always thought that farmworld and ooo operated on parallel timelines, and the show seemed to follow this too, but literally how does a 29 year old have a dead wife and a preteen kid, especially fw finn, who i seriously doubt was mentally and emotionally ready to start a family so soon after the crown was destroyed. so unless the show changed its mind and farmworld is suddenly farther in the future than ooo, i have no idea how fw finn has such a big family (cause like. the show clearly wants us to think that they’re all biological kids as opposed to adoption).
let me share my initial theory for who jay was. when i first saw him i thought he was going to be little sibling.
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i mean. the years match up perfectly here, so i have no idea why they went with the option that completely messes up the timeline.
also to clear up a misconception the flashback at the beginning is almost definitely during the year ice finn spent alone freezing people (between jake the dog and crossover) before prismo's meddling destroyed the crown in the nuke, so that part holds up at least.
i could be missing something that makes all of this make sense. i'll probably rewatch this episode tonight if there's any info i missed i might add it idk
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sysig · 10 months
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Blusters in, flusters out (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Emperor Awesome#Commander Peepers#Yet again some light Eyesome - at Least on the friendship side of things <3#Drawing Awesome's big smile-laugh was so fun ahh ♥ His mouth and teeth shape with his gums showing! The fact both eyes are hidden!#His hand grabbing his chest lol ♪ I was thinking the way Chris Evans laughs haha#And then pulling a ''Cute'' on Peeps hehe <3 He's said that before when he's being mean! (Though I like to think he also meant it lol)#He probably thinks cute is lame :P But cute is cute! Girls can be cute Peepers can be cute dolls can be cute! Cute runs the gamut!#I am so pleased with the little blush hashmarks where Awesome pinched him haha ♪ He is So pissed#It seems like Watchdog eyes can be touched - lightly - or at least they can choose to touch things with their eyes open#Biting/licking tends to be a closed-eye activity but Peepers has been seen drinking with his eye open! It's interesting#I think it'd probably be uncomfortable but not painful - I dunno whether to think of Watchdog eyes as being more or less moist haha#If they're more then they'd have a thicker mucus membrane to protect them - almost like frog skin?#But if it's less then it's almost more like plain skin itself - self-hydrating but thicker#I guess it comes down to what parts of the eye are actually ''eye'' lol - maybe just the iris? Though veins are visible in the sclera!#And they do clearly have eyelids and the ability to blink so they need flexible smooth-moving opaque skin on top :0 Not like a shell haha#Their helmets - Peepers' especially - act more like a shell which is very cute :) I love Peepers' ridiculous ''widows peak'' haha <3#Feel free to imagine the rest of Awesome as him leaning as far back as possible as he walks away lol#Kicking myself quietly for going with ''Napoleon'' rather than ''Bonaparte'' I think it would've flowed better and been a bit more clever#How does he know who Napoleon Bonaparte is and what he's referring to? Counterpoint what the hell is ''Bon Appétit'' - Wander & Peepers#Lol#Gone as quick as he came#He'll be back in no time to bother him again haha
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chocmuffinsscones · 4 months
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Kacchan is actually so, so loved.
His mom is right, he's a brat cuz he quickly got over his head when he was constantly praised by people around him. His parents must've love him so much with how well he physically is - healthy, clean, unbruised. Probably not a popular opinion but I think his mom treating him aggressively is a way to tone him down, to remind him of manners that he might've slipped from being too pompous. And also, it's an asian thing, ESPECIALLY in Japan where senpai-kouhai/elderly hierarchy is strongly regarded.
Still, Katsuki always demands attention like he doesn't have enough of it. He used to aim for being no.1 to gain attention where it'll feed his ego. Even with his obnoxious behaviour, he always had a pass cuz he IS talented, smart and very gifted. People allowed his atrocity cuz they believe he can still contribute to the hero society.
But Katsuki has a way to seek love that he truly yearns and needs. Maybe it's another gifted kid syndrome or an instinctual thing, that he could feel he is so loved in a way he was not expecting. The people who only sees him on the surface aside, Katsuki was constantly showered under the kind of love that is very forgiving, patient, and positive of his coming around. Aizawa, kirishima, his parents, AM, Izuku...
Aizawa and AM regard Katsuki in a similar fashion as his parents did, acting as a guidance that sometimes switching between being strict or encouraging. Kirishima was slightly special because he was the first one to accept his foul personality and would still praise and be amazed by his ability. To me, Katsuki must've value the gratification of someone acknowledging his entirety and would still respect him as well as give him fuel to his ego. Kirishima is passionate of integrity and righteousness. He's quite open-minded and is pretty forgiving, thus forming a suitable concoction of personalities that matches Katsuki's kind of "love" he grew accustomed to.
However, if it all comes to that preferences, why did he reject Izuku's "love" when kirishima's worked but not his? To be fair, Izuku's "love" for Katsuki is pretty much similar as to his parents' as well as kirishima's. But since the river incident, Katsuki's young mind has decided to antagonised that alien kind of love which he was going to get used to (from his parents) anyway. Because receiving that sort of acceptance and appreciation from a child his age kinda oppose the idea of him being special. Little Katsuki was building up a reputation of being the best and the most unique kid in the neighborhood , if he acknowledged Izuku's recognition of his "front", it would meant he wasn't really that special after all. Little Katsuki couldn't have that, and so it brought forward to their entire childhood until UA, rejecting that obvious, his preferred type of "love" that he labeled as disgusting due to their antagonistic relationship.
That's why after dvk2, when Katsuki has finally confronted that impulsive naivety he held onto, he became unconsciously openly seek out Izuku's "love" to him. He loves being seen and appreciated the right way, the way that reminds him of his humanity, that keeps him grounded, that asks his self-awareness of his capabilities and therefore pushes him becoming better every time. Izuku was different from Kirishima because Katsuki had never level himself with him the way he did with Izuku - notwithstanding the whole rivalry on win to save, save to win thing. Also, the simple fact that their familiarity of one another's traits are what keeping them tightly enveloped in an indissoluble bubble of intimacy.
Katsuki demands attention like a brat. He craves attention and love from where he seeks. As prefaced, he has preferences and that he categorised them. It's interesting though that due to his immature obstinacy, he had created a situation where he is now forcing himself in a state of overcompensation towards Izuku's year's worth of "love" towards him. (He knew he was truly at fault, and he knew Izuku still accepts him nonetheless (i.e dvk2), but the way he tried to keep a distance between them to maintain their norm is, in actuality, not normal. Counting in the fact that at the same time he still craves Izuku's "love" when he self-inserted as the one to pull the leash.
Tsk tsk, Katsuki truly is a child raised by love.
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