#maybe im just too gay because all i could focus on was the fact that i uuuh want to sleep with every single female character in this movie?

[my-castles-crumbling]

helloo i’m so sorry because i feel like you get this sort of ask all the time but i wanted some advice on how to come out or even if i should come out to my mom

for context- my parents were super into the right-evangelical church scene when i was really young. my dad is still that way, but my mom has shifted more to the middle road. it’s less middle road and more like “you live how you live, i’ll live how i live, i have bigger problems”. im an adult, but i currently live at home when im not at college and will continue to do so for quite a while. i hadn’t even really planned on coming out, because i know my dad would react badly and although i know she wouldn’t tell him, i dont want to stress her out more. i figured it would only come up if there was a long term girlfriend, but that really isn’t in the cards anyway because of my states increase in homophobic legislation

but recently at my parents church, there’s been an increase in casual homophobia/transphobia too, and the sermons are more often than not about avoiding “worldly beliefs” and “correcting” the idea that homosexuality is okay. i’ve always kinda known they were like this, but since i’m also somewhat spiritual/religious, it’s jarring and turns to guilt spirals really fast. because i live at home im expected to go, and if i don’t it upsets my mom and i really don’t like making her life harder. but last week i had a panic attack at work over the guilt spirals, and my mom is trying to figure out what’s causing it. we’re really close, so she knows when im avoiding something and she doesn’t believe any of the half truths ive given her so far. i don’t know how she’ll react though. she’s supportive of my aunt and her wife, and she kinda fought my grandma after she made a “at least she’s not gay” comment about me after i got my first boyfriend, but she’s also called bi and nonbinary people “confused” and has said stuff about traditional marriage being the expectation.

i don’t know if coming out would help, and i dont think i could handle the conversation going poorly. but i dont know what else to do

Hi! God, this sounds awful.

First, please remember that there is nothing to feel guilty for. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are.

When you said you don't know if you can handle the conversation going poorly, that made me nervous. So I'm wondering, is there a way to avoid going to church without coming out? Maybe say you have a lot of schoolwork to focus on? Even say you want to go to a different church? Because I'm thinking, if your parents get mad about that, at least they aren't upset about your identity, they're mad about a made-up reason.

I don't think coming out to your mom at some point is a horrible idea. But I think you should wait until you're out of the house and you have a more secure grasp on the fact that you are allowed to be unapologetically you.

Let me know what you think! Naming you church anon!

[thegamingcatmom]

im loving all of your gay Ellie blurb posts that you’ve been sharing oh my godddd! we need morrrrre!!!

could you maybe do a post involving actual mommy kink? maybe something to do with how we/reader end up calling her mommy? is it something ellie demands? is it something reader accidentally says that ellie latches on to? howwww does it happen?

need more of maggot mommy and her obsession with us! im glad we all fell for her sniffing too!! haha

OMG my very first ask. 😭🥰 

Thank youuu lsdfnlasdnf SO glad there´s ppl as obsessed as I am cause I´ve literally NEVER written out my thoughts about a character before (and there´s been many, many thoughts indeed) and yet Maggot Mommy just brings it out in me. She´s one of a kind and just- 🥵

Seeing as how there´s a poster literally saying "Come To Mommy" (I almost died) I can see why ppl are fast in hopping onto that train lmao.

Hmm, I´d like to think that, IF it was to happen, it´s when you´re not even aware you´ve said it. Like, you´re sleeping soundly (as soundly as can be with all the shit that´s going on in this cursed building - as in limbs being torn off left and right and screams of the damned all around and just the general sound of hell opening up to swallow you whole) and Deadite!Ellie is neck-deep into yet another part of you (you fear you´ve kinda gotten used to it by now or, at least, aren´t AS afraid of being munched on anymore) and then suddenly-

"...Mommy..."

And it´s not even said in a way that suggests you might be dreaming about certain things, no. It´s all breathy and barely audible and you´re actually starting to sweat a bit and your breath gets uneven. All signs that you are, in fact, in the middle of a nightmare and it´s been so long since you´ve seen your family (or ANY other form of life) and you just really want your Mom and it´s actually quite depressing and sad, really.

But well, for Maggot Mommy it´s anything but. In fact, she strains her ears and her head moves down and down in hopes to hear it again, to be certain. You see, her deceased, rotten brain is wired quite differently and all she can focus on right now is how good that word sounds coming out of your mouth and how it makes her tingle in all the right places.

So I guess if ANYONE is gonna develop a mommy kink it´s Maggot Mommy herself and you´re in for quite the surprise once you wake up and ALSNKLASDNFA I think Imma shut up now because I think I´m actually gonna write something out rn and I don´t wanna blabber on and spoil it lmao.

(Just a fair warning: it´s probs gonna get rather dark and messed up cause I love my monsters that way lol)

But that sniffing though? Dead, passed out, just-

[judeiscariot]

hey! feel free to delete the shit out of this ask, i just wanted to tell SOMEONE and maybe get some advice, i respect your opinions sooo idk gimme ur 2 cents if u feel like it. if not just wipe it out cause i’m mostly just trying to sort out my thoughts anyway.

sooooo basically, i’m in a good and healthy relationship that’s been going for over a year. he’s really in love with me and as far as i can tell i’m in love with him too. my issue is that i have a really hard time with long term commitment, and he’s an extremely committed person. i don’t have my life figured out yet. i don’t know most of my identity past the fact that i’m gay.

with that out of the way. i think i’m in love with my best friend.

lots of extraneous circumstances led to us spending a lot more time around each other, and now all i want to do is be around him. i don’t want to do ANYTHING else, straight up. i’d rather spend time with him than sleep. but i’m also extremely ADHD and off meds, and i have a history of getting weirdly obsessed with people bc of that, so i’m not convinced that this isnt just a temporary thing. i also am pretty convinced i might be polyamorous, but i’ve never had the chance to try that out, so i genuinely don’t know.

i can’t end a year and a half long relationship because i might be having feelings. but i’m also terrified of the ramifications of any of my other options right now. i feel like i’m walking a tightrope and i don’t know what to do. i’m not cheating on my boyfriend. that’s about as far as i got figured right now.

i also don’t know if this is genuine attraction to my friend or not. i can’t tell. my emotions feel like such a muddy swamp and im just stuck in the damn current. im not having the greatest time with it. can’t focus on anything at all in my life.

i don’t know what the point of sending this is, and i definitely don’t mean to overstep boundaries or anything. i just can’t tell anyone in my life or even send this off anon because my friend group is so tight knit. it would make everything awful and awkward if any of them found out any of this. i just don’t know what to do.

love you, you’re one of my favorite blogs on this app. sorry for writing you an essay that isn’t even about mcr or the bible. maybe i’ll do that next time.

hi!! it’s sweet of u to ask my opinion although i’m definitely no expert on this stuff but i can for sure give u my thoughts.

before i start i’ll just go ahead and say that obviously i don’t know you or your life so definitely take any advice i give with a grain of salt, i can just tell you how i’d probably go about handling the situation if it was me.

obviously having commitment issues makes long term relationships really difficult, especially if the other person is especially comfortable with commitment. as someone who also struggles with commitment i think those issues can sometimes make us subconsciously look for ways out of committed relationships, whether romantic or otherwise, even if thats not what we actually want. like you could be happy in a healthy and loving relationship and your brain will still try to tell you to push the other person away / seek ways out of the relationship. this may not be your situation but i know that’s something i’ve experienced before and something i see pretty commonly in people with commitment issues. however not having your life together can also make committing in relationships really difficult - for some people being in a loving relationship helps them with figuring out their identity, and for others it inhibits them from exploring in the ways they need to to really get to know themselves. again, this is a purely case by case basis type of thing and since i don’t know you personally i can’t tell you where you fall on that scale. if you feel that being in this relationship is inhibiting your personal growth or that you can’t really get to know yourself while in a relationship with this person then that might be a sign. it could also very well be a right person wrong time kinda thing - you could absolutely still be in love with your boyfriend and just simply not in a place in your life that would allow you to thrive in a relationship with him.

as for the whole being in love with your best friend thing, that is something i do have an inordinate amount of experience with lmfao. i also definitely feel you on the whole getting super obsessed with / attached to certain people thing although for me it’s more a symptom of BPD not ADHD. having feelings or thinking you might have feelings for a close friend is a notoriously difficult situation to solve and for me in the past the best option has honestly and truly been to just wait it out. pay attention to the way you feel around your friend and if you see those feelings shifting or changing at all. it could be a temporary thing, like you said, and upsetting the balance you already have with this person for temporary feelings would obviously be a less than ideal situation. and with thinking you might be poly, i think that kinda circles back to the whole deal of figuring out your identity while in a long term relationship. like i said i don’t know you or your boyfriend, but if you think it would be worth it to see if he would be cool with trying out an open relationship then having a conversation with him about that could be be constructive.

i really think communication is key in pretty much every human relationship ever. it might be worth talking to your boyfriend about how you feel, not necessarily the possibility of having feelings for your friend, but more so your hesitance towards commitment and unsureness about your identity. at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide if this is a relationship that you’re able to grow in, and if it’s not then it might not be one worth staying in. HOWEVER like i said i don’t know you or your boyfriend personally and ultimately i'm just Some Guy From Tumblr so i’m not gonna just like outright tell you you should break up with him or anything. but if i were you i'd strongly consider having a sit down conversation with him.

and like i’ve said, take all my advice with a grain of salt, i’m more than happy to give it but i’m definitely no type of expert! you’re also welcome to dm me any time if you want someone to talk to and i wish you nothing but the best trying to figure everything out <3 and for future reference essays about mcr and / or the bible are ALWAYS welcome in my inbox lol

[pridewhatpride]

do you have any gx rivalshipping hcs!! im super curious on your take of them :]

When I saw this ask my immediate reaction was thinking: "Yes, I have an excuse to talk about gx rivalshipping, YES."

So yeah. I love this ship a lot, like a whole damn lot and it's a little hard to explain why, especially when gx has so many open possibilities for romances involving Judai. By which I mean two, really, and Manjoume is not one of them (sadly for me). I am referring to Yubel and Johan, by the way, I refuse to acknowledge Asuka as a love interest.

I'll start off with a bit of fluff headcanons?

Manjoume thinks Winged Kuriboh is really cute and that its friendly and fluffy appearance screams Judai, in a way. But he will never admit it because of what that might imply for him and the Ojamas.

Manjoume is fueled by caffeine and monster, he only really starts to recognise how nice it can be to have a meal because of how much Judai enjoys his food. He tries to sit at the table with him with dumb excuses.

Judai feels a bit guilty for how his actions impacted Manjoume's life, but Manjoume generally tells him that it's fine, it's better this way, that he's never this happy, that the only reason why Judai should maybe feel bad about it is because of his tendency to get overly invested in other people's problems and getting hurt in the process. Judai responds with bear hugs.

Manjoume brags about Judai a lot, actually. "Oh you think that's cool? One time Judai managed to do a backflip, you loser." "Slifer reds suck, but they do have redeeming qualities, by which I mean one of them is actually good."

Judai likes to indulge himself in the thought that he's Manjoume's most trusted, that he's the only one who could ever be allowed to have that many incriminating pictures of him. Because Judai just loves taking candid pictures of Manjoume. He thinks he looks and and cool in every situation, so yeah. A part of him does it because he has an inexplicable fear of forgetting people and the way they look, but he just can't say why that is.

They hang out in silence a lot, but once they start talking they just never stop. You'll find them on the beach at 3 am with a smiling Manjoume listening to Judai go on about how crazy it is that you can fry food in so many different ways and how he once caught a butterfly as a kid and named it Kujaku.

They share their music a lot, so Manjoume's tastes switch from just emo to fast paced rap and the weirdly happy sounding songs about very morbid things Judai listens to (plus emo). Judai starts to enjoy a bit of angry screaming into microphones thanks to Jun. Do they sing along like idiots as they share earphones? Yes. Is Manjoume mesmerised by Judai's singing voice? Also yes.

Judai loves hiking and sometimes invites Manjoume, but because he's a lot weaker and has less stamina, they take it slow. Manjoume keeps cursing himself for being slow and dead weight, but Judai is just happy to have a companion. Admittedly, going slower makes the walks better as he has the time to enjoy the scenery properly. He never teases Jun about his lack of physical training.

Now... I wanted to talk about my general view on the ship, plus headcanons I guess, but this is going to be EVEN LONGER (you are getting more than you asked for, your fault for enabling me, really). For the sake of the sanity of mobile users, I'm adding a cut so nobody has to unwillingly scroll through endless text.

On to the the juice, then. My thoughts on the ship. Manjoume and Judai are, of course, the rivals of the series and, if my thoughts on rivalry weren't clear enough, I am one of those people. It's just really romantic to me. What is very interesting about the two of them specifically is that they are polar opposites in the way the reason why they play, throughout the whole series. Hell, their views end up getting reversed completely: Manjoume goes from "if I don't win I'm gonna have a breakdown breakdown" to "losing is ok, as long as I enjoy the game and am true to myself", while Judai does the 180 from "I really just love playing cards with my friends, who cares about the outcome, it's fun" to "I have card game related trauma, nobody speak to me, games are only an excuse to assert a sort of power scale and honestly fuck that".

Manjoume is sort of the only person in the 'friend group' (he's never actually part of it, sadly, literally only Judai and Fubuki like him) to not idolise Judai, not explicitly. He clearly has an admiration for Judai from the beginning, but he is adamant on expressing it as hatred towards for being better than him. A part of me feels that a lot of his superior act is meant to try and fool himself and Jaden into thinking that he's a worthy rival, because I know for a fact that Manjoume doesn't believe that. He wants it to be true, yes.

What I am trying to get at is that Judai is probably a little confused by the fact that Manjoume doesn't drool all over him like the rest of the school does, but it soon becomes a crutch. Judai is under a lot of pressure because he is the hero who will save everyone and people like to remind him of how much they count on him. Manjoume is in it for Judai. He wants to be acknowledged by him, he wants his recognition and his attention, but he never asks for help or expects Judai to fix his problems for him. Judai is probably thankful for that.

Manjoume is also really scared of being left behind and cast aside as soon as he stops being useful and that's exactly what the writers do to him!!! hooray!, but Judai keeps insisting that he's not a bad guy, that he's fun to be around, that he's competent. Manjoume doesn't really believe all that that much, but Jaden keeps playing him despite his repeated losses and to Jun that's the equivalent of someone kissing his tears away. Manjoume only learns to accept his losses and shortcomings because Judai did it for him first.

So basically Manjoume is the only one who fully sees Judai as a person, while Judai is the only one who is really willing to look past his pretentious facade. I fully believe that Judai was relieved to learn that Manjoume was not just a perfect boy with perfect manners, by the way. They both just love to learn about every imperfection that the other has and silently thinking that they just add to the beauty of the other's character. Will they tease eachother about it? Fuck yes. Do they feel awful when the other tries to fix something about themselves because they pointed it out? Also fuck yes.

They are in a dumb competition against themselves to be better in order to earn the right to be friends with eachother, but because they are fucking dumb they never actually communicate (until they do), so for a long time it's endless pining that is definitely not gay because admittedly Judai just doesn't think that dating is a thing, while Manjoume is straight™, really straight. He has never liked a boy in his life, he's so very fucking straight, I swear.

So Manjoume is a bisexual disaster (and in my headcanon he prefers boys, actually, the Asuka incident is the biggest example of denial™ ever. He prefers Fubuki, fight me over this). The problem is that he never really considered he might be crushing on Judai, but at the same time admitting to maybe liking boys too means that there was more to wanting to stay at DA, to hanging out with Judai's crew despite their mutual dislike, to his continuous playful headlocks and ear pulling. To add onto that, there is probably a certain amount of guilt over having betrayed that bond with Judai by trying to throw away his cards and everything. Judai, on the other hand... is confused at how bothered he is by the public declarations of love, because Manjoume is his rival and rivals are supposed to focus on eachother, not on some girl, no matter how good said girl is at card games.

So maybe they are a bit gay for eachother. And maybe they just want excuses to be together as much as possible. And it's really just the vibe of highschool romance between two people who don't want to admit to caring for one another on a deeper level, but are also weirdly possessive of eachother for no apparent reason. And I think I'll stop here with my gay retelling, but really if you look at the two of them you do see that they do a lot for eachother's characters. It's kind of beautiful, really. They are the two socially inept characters who find comfort in someone being just like them and understanding them as they change and grow up.

I have a lot to say about how that changes once the transfer students come in, but I think I've bored everyone for long enough- as in nobody will read this lol. That's ok. I thank you again for the ask and for allowing me to gush about this ship that is so close to my heart. If anyone ever wants to talk about them, just. Do. Break into my house at night and I still won't mind, I just want to talk about them.

[gaysagainststeve]

you don’t have to post this because i know how any post not demonizing billy gets someone a lot of hate.

ok i’m 2 weeks late but the unending billy hate just.. hurts my soul because it’s never a nuanced conversation. people refuse to admit that even though he’s done and said messed up things, he’s still a victim of abuse. i do blame the duffers for that because all they care about is demonizing him. dacre montgomery tried so hard to focus on billy’s abuse and insecurities and how that resulted in his shitty actions and adopted views from his father. he’s so real. not every abuse victim is overly kind and “docile.” he’s an angry person. victims of abuse can be angry and violent because that’s all they’ve been shown, but that doesn’t mean they “maybe deserve to die.” maybe the deserve a chance to change with proper care. ugh the way stranger things has handled billy’s abuse is so damaging to abuse victims. neil faces no consequences. max’s mother makes no mention of it despite witnessing it. a random basketball player’s abuse can be focused on but not billy’s? the way people say billy is worse than brenner & peter creel! it’s absolutely ridiculous. there’s also this misogynistic, hetnormative way in which antis will say that the only people who like billy are woman who think he’s hot. and don’t get me started on that hate dacre receives for trying to humanize his character and how he’s been ostracized by the duffer brothers. i could talk about this forever lol. anyways, he and steve are in love but the duffers saw that they were too powerful bye.

Dude i also have a whole manifesto about billy. I feel you so hard. Also im not afraid of antis saying anything to me bc i always want to be talking about this even on my streamer side blog lol

What i have to add is my opinion on the fact that ppl call him racist and abusive.

Billy does in season 2 say something implicitly racist saying max shouldn’t hang out with ppl like lucas. But the duffers are cowards that refuse to touch on any racism in the 80s. Im p sure its by the request of caleb who plays lucas, but theyve had characters say the f slur, had episodes about misogyny and yet they refuse to acknowledge the racism lucas may have faced even in passing. Im not saying lucas should be hate crimed but i feel like it would explain why he really wanted to be accepted by the basketball team and obsessed with being popular in season 4.

The duffers never follow up on the racist comment billy made and its not talked about at all in season 3. it is not a reoccurring or central trait to billy. Billys racism is as relevant as the byers dog to the duffers. They forget everything they write.

Also, the way he treats Max is a direct product of his abuse from his father. Anything she does wrong, billy gets punished for. Its a common abuse tactic idk why ppl think billy treats her bad just bc he’s evil. Also like… does anyone call intense fighting between siblings abuse in any other context??

The ppl who say hes the evilest person on the show are hard core projecting their own highschool bully onto him. I saw ppl saying jason was not as bad as billy and jason actually shot at lucas with the intent to kill him when billy pushed him up against a wall aggressively (i think the cast and creators even said this). Jason is the personification of rich white christian heterosexual America and the violence that comes from their ignorance. Billy is literally a poor metal head that gets called gay slurs by his father. Jason has the power of the entire town behind him hunting down the party; billy is just some angry punk with no outlet that finds his little sister in a creepy house with a bunch of boys and a high school senior in the middle of the night.

I for sure get not liking billy but idk how it became so extreme and mainstream. It used to be just infighting in the fandom but now its all over tiktok and hating him is The Opinion to have.

I think it might be because the show is so black and white about whether or not a character is good or evil and people can’t handle that billy has any complexity at all.

Also is it a crime for a man to be attractive? Ppl will crucify you if you don’t have a moral reason for liking a character istg. Maybe he’s the only character on that show that has any depth AND has a fat ass??? Ever think of that??

Thanks for sending this ask!!

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[elytrafemme]

reread cs chapter update thing today and i think this will be short. well maybe not idk. when i first read it i think i was freaking out because of vacation and not the chapter so maybe i will have coherent thoughts. or maybe i’ll have no coherent thoughts. 

so the chapter starts and it makes me giggle because one of my biggest daily fears is worrying i’ve forgotten something important that i need to do, specifically with school. so i see csranboo worry about his planner and i giggle. me too buddy me too <- never writes in their planner like an idiot

okay and then dream happens wich fills me with primal rage. someone stop him fr. and the fact that apparently he’s pretending like he’s tutoring, and that the tommy incident is mentioned, and like just everything. he makes me want to punch a wall but that would hurt so i won’t. also punching walls is bad for the wall, the wall did nothing to deserve to be punched.

also!!!! HES FREAKING GOING TO STAY AT DREAMS FOR (some of) THE HOLIDAYS??? gonna punch dream but in my mind. i am absolutely distraught over the whole situation. i can feel the air shifting ya know. SOMETHINGS GOING TO HAPPEN AND IM GOING TO BE EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED I KNOW IT AND IM NOT READY.

okay now on a better note, ranboo thinkin about tubbo non stop is kinda funny to watch. freaking gay ass. freaking aro spec idiot needs some since bapped into him. i adore his existence 

also freaking little dude going through gender crisis i give him a cupcake for his troubles.

and ranboo guy self isolating. NO!!! i mean i can understand him wanting space to process things but no he’s avoiding people :(

absolutely distraught over this guy all the time

also fundy is pretty endearing he’s scared of being left alone or somethin. nice lil dude. or not little, technically not little. 

anyway the snake story was nice, made me smile. 

also i want to shake the ranbus. he’s freaking avoiding all the things. needs to face them head on to save himself the later headache. but then again fairs.

also the note of how dream has started to tell ranboo to focus more on school than people is like. hmmm. bad vibes on that. 

and ranboo overthinking everything. and

yea

also the phone call with techno was really good i enjoyed it thoroughly. i can’t place my finger on it i swear brain goes scrambled reading these chapters. maybe it’s a curse of the ranboo pov.

also the spider in the cart part made me giggle, it probably shouldn’t but it did. it doesn’t rhyme but in my head it does. spider in a cart what will he do. i could take literally any other part of that scene and talk about it but no my brain loves spiders in the cart. also hates the visual because i would cry of spiders were actually in my cart or even not in my cart just thinking about it i want to shake off my skin. it’s silly it’s funny it makes me giggle. 

also!!!! ever since drivers ed every driving related bit of cs is like yea!!!! cars should not be trusted near anyone actually. relatable times here, might have a car crash might not. 

also the freaking comedy of having a crappy time and also finals on the same day, peak humor (to me i guess)

anyway i want to provide thoughts of substance but i guess my brain is more scrambled than an unlucky egg. freaking poultry industry.  half of this is me taking about me and not the chapter, but tbh i skimmed a little at some parts. i want to cook ranboo like an egg he would sizzle i think 

heres a shirt for your troubles i am very talkative recently which will inevitably change but you have me for now crowding your ask box

freaking awesome shirt

also yea your fic is so good and fics actually they all make my brain go fried/pos

God knows I never have a coherent thought EVER so coherent or not its very welcome. im positively obsessed w your chaotic energy anyway

NO BC I USED TO DENOUNCE PLANNERS BUT I'D FORGET EVERYTHINGGG now I literally write everything down in daily agendas like. remember to brush your teeth remember this super important school event! etc

oh you WILL be emotional damaged (promise) but YEP!!!! dream was honestly pretty fun to write in that chapter because he really is just the fucking worst. he wants to keep ranboo as long as possible while giving him the idea that HE'S the one who wants to stay and is imposing, as opposed to dream just like two weeks beforehand kicking ranboo out mid-hangout for no reason. lot of fun shifts happening! and yeah, tutoring, what a good coverup for what youre doing. <3

"absolutely distraught over this guy all the time" this

but yeah tubbo and ranboo think about each other. A Lot. it's all i can do considering ive deprived u guys of Them content for SO LONG! but yes. them <3 and yes fundy is so so fucking worried he wants to play it safe he's scared that if he fucks it up he'll lose ranboo forever. he's just doing his best man. his abandonment issues precede him

spiders in cart<3 fun fact the spiders uhhhh weren't actually there he was hallucinating those but still. hehe. hehe? i don't know but tbh Me

u are a beloved egg in my inbox dw <3 also pls keep talking here as frequently as u like it's a genuine delight to see u around!!!!

i feel like im rly bad at addressing everything ppl comment on but if i didnt mention a specific part of ur ask here then im silently grateful for those kind words i just dont have very good commentary on all the bits and that <3

I FEEL LIKE IVE SEEN THAT SHIRT BEFORE......................Interesting collection your pinterest has made you huh

appreciate u

[alexiaugustin]

okay okay okay so let's talk about kieu my and her internalized biphobia since nobody can tell me that this is just my hEaDcOn i made up to comfort myself anymore. im sorry if this post is gonna be messy but i just have lots of thoughts abt this clip and im emo af right now

i just wanna thank druck so much for giving us bi rep with kieu my that didn't focus on kieu my realizing that she's bi or her struggling to come out (there's nothing wrong with that rep and those definitely are important storys to tell but it's also damn important to have representation that goes beyond that process). i think what a lot of cishets always fail to understand is that even though you personally are completely at peace with yourself and your identity and might even have told your friends, family etc about it, does not mean that you aren't struggling to accept your sexuality when you are outside of your comfort zone, when you are confronted with the expectations this society has for you and sometimes even the expectations within your own community. you can be out to your friends, be comfortable talking about your sexuality, speak up against homophobia and be very sure of yourself but when you actually find yourself in a situation where you actively have to make a choice and decide whether you are ready to be in a relationship and be one hundred percent serious about this you are struggling.

there are various reasons for that; you might be a afraid of what other students and maybe even teachers would think and say at school, you might be afraid of verbal and violent homophobia when you're in public and some more struggles specifically bi people might have; not wanting to disappointed people that don't accept your bisexuality because by choosing to date a girl you are disappointing them because the possibility of you ending up in a "straight relationship" was there, feeling like that by dating someone you are picking one side, feeling like you are disappointing the lgbt community if you date a boy so you're letting them down by not being "gay enough".

and after spending so much of your time figuring out who you are, coming out to other people, coming to terms with your sexuality, falling in love with someone and being sure that you want to be in a relationship with them- suddenly feeling so insecure about this when shit gets real and there's an actual possibility for you two to be in a relationship feels like a massive setback. in a way it feels like you are betraying yourself and all of the development you went through when you suddenly r afraid to actually be in a relationship. it's something you just cannot understand at first so you're trying to withdraw from the situation again, starting to question yourself all over again. and this is exactly what happened to kieu my after she kissed fatou on nye.

in one moment she was so sure about her feelings and just took the opportunity to shoot her shot and in the next she started being insecure n felt like that if she wanted to be with fatou she would have to pick a side (and from what she said last friday it's very likely that she in a way felt like that she was picking the wrong side because of her own expectations that probably made her feel like that she should date a boy). so she started ghosting fatou because talking to fatou would have meant that she would have had to be honest about her struggles to not only fatou but also herself and it's likely that she didn't know how to talk about what she was going through nor how to explain it, not even to herself. when her friends confronted her with the fact that she kissed fatou she didn't know how to explain it to them either so she just chose the easy way out, called her a dumb bye kiss and wanted to escape a conversation about this. this is not to excuse what she did- of course it's not okay to ghost someone you kissed just the night before, of course it's not cool to call said person just a dumb nye kiss especially if that person actually means a whole lot to you. but it's a reason and a reason that i can understand and relate to very much (i am kieu my and kieu my is me lol)

when kieu my realized how much she hurt fatou and when she was sure that she would lose her she realized that she could not longer run from her issues but needed to confront herself with the situation and desperately wanted to talk to fatou again. i think that my favorite part of this storyline is that when kieu my explained it to fatou, fatou just understood her because she knows what it feels like when you feel like you r letting people down by not being with a boy, when you've never been in a same sex relationship and are afraid of what might change in your life if you were.

of course there are situations in life where the internalized biphobia of others might have hurt you too much to be able to forgive them but i love that in this case they made clear that fatou understood what kieu my went through and that the understanding was enough to forgive her and let her walls down again, to tell kieu my "you are good" last friday and to be in a relationship with her now without having the narrative villainize and make kieu my feel more miserable about herself if fatou would have just told her that she cannot forgive her and let the friday clip end with that.

[beyondd-dazedd]

EPISODE👏 REVIEW👏 hsmtmts season 2 episode 10: get ready for some enthusiastic writing and a little too much looking into details

first off seb doing the intro made my heart happy i love him

ok i know everyone has been saying it but there is no way in hell they’re winning the menkies. unless the writers just go with the main character favoritism route, there’s just no way. however for the sake of comedy, watching ashlyn give us everything in the transformation scene and ricky being an absolute disaster is SO funny to me. like shout out to joshua because that scene made me laugh so hard. also a trio i need more of is kourt, red and ej. i just feel like they would be dramatic gossipy bitches and i love that for them.

normally i think ms. jenn’s reactions are over the top but after seeing the shit show that just occurred 2 mins before... i think her reaction is very valid because oh god.

continuing with the theme of friendship dynamics we haven’t seen a lot of but we absolutely need more of, ashlyn and ricky!! that scene was so sweet and wholesome. i’m so so so glad the writers didn’t fall into the trap of making characters take sides after a break up. i just feel like it’s been done a million times before. but seeing ashlyn being so genuine when checking up in ricky made me so happy. the caswells remain being the superior characters (including gina obvs)

ms. jenn and mr. mazzarra are cute don’t get me wrong but they should’ve spent more time developing that relationship instead giving ms. jenn like 3 random love interests and that’s all i’ll say on that.

i love imagining what characters are saying when they’re just ad libbing. like what could ej, gina, ricky and red be talking about before carlos shows up to start the scene?? my guess is they’re all gushing about how amazing ash is and no i don’t take criticisms on that.

alright i’ll say it. the seblos drama is weak at best. they didn’t spend enough time developing it and kind of pushed it to the background so when it was one of the main focuses of the episode it was kind of like ok?? HOWEVER i did love the resolution to it and the deeper look into their individual characters. (i’ll talk more about this later)

carlos calling ms. jenn mother and everyone immediately knowing who he was talking about sent me omfg. but also who the fuck let these high schoolers try to figure out this transformation scene by themselves?? they collectively have 2 brain cells and they just bounce around between the 9 of them depending on the scene. but playful sleepover competition!! also gina nudging ej when he goes a little too ej 1.0 was everything.

i hate lily and i love sassy red. that’s all.

(im going to talk about the boys/girls sleepovers like they’re each one continuous scene respectively because it’s way easier than switching back and forth)

fun new friendship dynamics!! the boys!! sebbie and the girls! iconic. i know that the show is meant to be in a mockumentary style so we only see parts of the characters lives but i would give my left arm to see the boys getting closer and becoming friends. this is also the first scene where i really noticed ricky’s shirt. ricky is queer disney are just cowards. i’m not a big ricky/ ej shipper but the pretty boy had me feeling some type of way. carlos being worried about seb and their relationship and then red being like well this is why. bc he’s got a spy on the inside was peak friendship. but seriously disney?? just say gay. it’s not a bad word. now imma freak out about PORTWELL OMFG I WAS ALREADY FREAKING OUT DURING THIS SCENE SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW WELL I WAS DOING LATER ON. but ej just being like im not ready to put myself out there because of nini i don’t wanna get rejected... again. my heart went out to him. you can really see how much he’s grown as a person. but sure ej y’all are “buddies” also him saying the one thing i’m proud of from my time with nini was letting her go and ricky’s reaction to that hurt me to my core.

alright let’s talk about the girls and seb. first off i love that they’re actually working and the boys are doing fuck all LOL. seb actually talking about how he feels?? good for him. i hate that he thinks that carlos is only with him because there’s limited options but at least he’s talking about it. a moment of silence for ash’s scissor bucket (i won’t make a gay joke. i won’t make a gay joke. i won’t-) anyways... i really thought that maybe ash would know about portwell but it’s fucking EVERYONE. like y’all are that perceptive about other peoples relationships but not your own?? that’s why all y’all have relationship drama. gina not wanting to put herself out there because she’s afraid of getting hurt?? ouch. gina thinking ej is just being nice?? ouch but also gina, sis?? what. also nini reacting that way to the chocolates is so out of pocket. like 1) y’all aren’t dating anymore so what’s got you so pressed? 2) gina made it clear that they weren’t actually from ricky 3) nini you know they had some sort of chemistry before you and ricky got back together so this really shouldn’t be that surprising.

anyways the scene with ricky and carlos broke me. the decision for ricky to not show nini the song was so mature. despite wanting to get her back, he KNOWS that that would only drag her back and that’s not fair to her and he knows it. but his awareness of seblos’s relationship and wanting to help carlos work things out with seb was so wholesome and so sweet and is kind of a big moment of character development for him this season. like he was generally very selfish this season (again i’m a ricky apologist til the day i die but he was so selfish) and seeing him take the focus away from his problems to help carlos out was so sweet. also i need more ricky/carlos friendship moments.

kourt talking about howie learning her love language?? bitch you mean espionage?? i mean me too but that’s so fucking funny

ALRIGHT THIS IS THE PARAGRAPH WHERE I SCREAM ABOUT PORTWELL!!! i am so so so so happy right now about this. the fact that ej asked about risotto but for real was so satisfying and was blatantly like him saying i know we faked being in a relationship but what about it not being fake and omfg that’s so amazing. also gina being skeptical and asking if ash put him up to it and him saying not that i know of?? THE PARALLELS?? also gina this whole season has been talking about signs and finding reasons to stay, finding signs to know if someone is right for her and you can literally see the moment she realizes she said the same thing about the duke sweatshirt to jack. SHE KNOWS THIS IS HER SIGN and that’s so special to me. also ej’s nervous laugh after she says yes?? omfg. let’s look at ej’s character. historically he’s confident, cocky and generally puts on this facade of having his shit together but gina makes him nervous (in a good way). he doesn’t feel like he has to pretend to be confident around her. he’s showing her that he’s just as nervous as she is about this and that is just *chefs kiss* honestly not to be an andi mack stan but ej’s little nervous chuckle and ok after she says yes sounds like he’s letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding which seriously parallels tj after the tyrus confession. i’m just saying. ALSO GINA’S LITTLE EXCITED WALK BACK TO THE GROUP AHHHHHH

the seblos song?? i have no notes. it was incredible. frankie killed that shit. it was such a good song. so sweet. so wholesome. also ricky and carlos’s hug was so fucking meaningful to both of them and you can tell. ricky was absolutely beaming because he helped the two of them and it feels like a little bit of season 1 ricky shining through.

WHO THE FUCK LET A BUNCH OF HIGH SCHOOLERS RIG A KID IN THE AIR COMPLETELY UNSUPERVISED?? of course ricky fucking fell. that group shares 2 brain cells. obviously some dumb shit was going to happen

[thickenmyblood]

I’ll confess my sins. When I skipped the first chapters of Capri I got stuck on Laurent’s description as spoiled and similar to overripe fruit. So i was like ah. Royal Dudley Dursley with a blonde curly wig. Sounds about right. I finally saw some fan art and was like??? Who is this anemic Victorian vampire legolas persona?? Honestly tho in an alternate universe where Auguste doesn’t die and Laurent still dislikes sports but enjoys Veres sweet meats and his metabolism is only the slightest bit slower Laurent is absolutely getting chubby. And Damen. Smh he manages to be shadiest bitch while also being appreciating. Would he insult an overweight courtier who never touched a sword? Absolutely. Would he respect a meaty sumo ringer able to throw Damen around like a rag doll? Absolutely. He seems to appreciate multiple types of bodies just fine (muscled gladiators, frail slaves, sturdy vaskian women) so I feel like he’d also appreciate curvier partners as long as they. Well know how to use their body yk. Oh and what about chubby jokaste? We don’t know enough about akielon beauty standards at all. Sure slaves are probably mostly slender and frail to add to the submissive aesthetic (tho I do remember damens fixation on his female slaves big boobs, dude is far from subtle as always). But if it’s Ancient Greek inspired beauty standards jokaste most definitely rocks some tummy rolls. Either that or she’s got super toned abs from the Pilates classes she visits with the other trophy concubines. and akielon man are properly ripped but is it king-Leonidas-washboard-abs ripped?? Or more chunky functional muscle mass ripped? Perhaps akielon noble women are even trained like Spartan women and egeria was the one with the washboard abs. Also there absolutely was a time in Vere where the chubbier the pet = the wealthier it’s owner. Im so so sorry for rambling but your post got me t h i n k i n g

This is not only hilarious but also one of the best takes I’ve ever read. There is so much to unpack here that I truly don’t know where to start.

You mentioned Dudley, whose weight and fat (derogatory) tendencies are accentuated throughout the entire Harry Potter saga. I think—and this is my personal belief, it is not something anyone else has to agree with—that part of what makes Laurent interesting and redeemable to many readers has to do with the fact that he’s beautiful*. I don’t think many people would be willing to admit that, but Laurent’s pretty privilege as a fictional character is similar to Draco Malfoy’s (in fanon) or other morally grey villains/characters’. Ugly characters are harder to forgive, for some reason.

This got me thinking that had Pacat written Laurent as canonically fat, there would be a lot of stuff going on in Damen’s head that I don’t think we’d be able to excuse as easily as we excuse other (quite horrible) thoughts of his. But also, like I mentioned above, I think Laurent would have a harder time proving to some readers that he’s not Dudley, that he’s not just a stereotype of selfishness and greed and other things fatness is associated with (like childishness or an inability to take accountability for one’s actions). This would happen not because he’s fat, but rather because we see the world through Damen’s eyes. And Damen is. . . Quite opinionated.

You mentioned Damen would be judgmental of someone’s weight based on their ability to fight. So, like you pointed out, he’d make fun of a useless in battle courtier but not of a Sumo wrestler. I think in Book 1 Damen would make fun of anything and everyone, but I do understand where you’re coming from with that statement. It makes me wonder what Damen would think of people with a mobility/physical disability. Or even with learning difficulties. Or just about anyone that, according to him, doesn’t contribute to society. If you can’t be a warrior or a bed slave, and if you’re not in a condition to be a peasant and plow fields, and if you don’t have royal blood in your veins. . . I have a hard time picturing Damen being sympathetic.

Chubby Jokaste. . . I think I’ve always thought of her as a muscled woman, given the fact that Laurent can pose as her in Book 3. There’s been a lot of discourse lately on whether Laurent is muscled or a twigly twink, which I will not get into because I. . . do not know enough about gender and/or gender expression to add anything to any argument. I am also not a gay man, so I don’t know what could be considered offensive. I am also very stupid. I also do not know what the word 'twink' means anymore.

Your ask has made me think a lot about many things I’m usually not interested in. I think it would be interesting to see a chubby Laurent who still knows how to fight, who trains, who does things other than eat and hate. Canon Laurent is slender, and yet he never manages to beat Damen in combat, so I don’t think his ability to fight would suffer much from gaining some pounds. It would be interesting to see chubby Jokaste too, even though I don’t particularly enjoy the parallels between her and Laurent in canon. It would also be interesting to see. . . different types of bodies. You mentioned the Vaskian ladies, which I like a lot, but I don’t think I’ve read or come across any fics that focus on them. I think Vannes’ pet is also described as muscular and big, but I’m afraid I don’t remember the quote and I don’t own the books, so I can’t be sure.

What I liked the most was the ending of your ask, where you went on to add little worldbuilding details. Like I said yesterday, I wish canon was more detailed so we could maybe have something to hold onto when we make certain claims. It’s hard to say which parts of Damen’s thought process are entirely his (as a prince with a lot of privilege) and which ones have to do with his culture. Pacat has pointed out some to us, like the fact that Akielons don’t enjoy certain “spectacles” of the body, like pet rings or public sex, but they do enjoy staring at bodies when they’re wrestling or performing physical activities unrelated to sex. Other things remain little mysteries, in my opinion. Do all bed slaves have the same body type? Do women wrestle? How does marriage work in Akielos? What is everyone else’s opinion on fat people? I’m sure not everyone is like Damen, who we speculate cares about having a healthy body so he can fight and. . . stuff.

I am not saying Damen is the only character who, in the historic period where Captive Prince is set, would have fatphobic thoughts. If Damen was fat, Laurent would be the first one to use that against him, especially in Book 1. I just think Damen fits the fatphobic mold better because he’s described as this hypermasculine character, very into war (I think the blurb of the book calls him a warrior prince?) and manly things. Which is not to say war is inherently manly. Which is not to say Laurent isn’t manly. Which is not to say. . . whatever.

Captive Prince is a fantasy trilogy, set in. . . the past. Concepts such as fatphobia or toxic masculinity are not exactly applicable, but I think it’s fun to explore Damen’s character through his flaws. Laurent has a lot of flaws, but Damen’s are sometimes confused with virtues. In my opinion, they’re at their best when they’re being disgustingly horrible to each other.

I’m sorry for writing you a 90 paragraph response.

* He's almost universally beautiful in the Captive Prince world. Damen finds him pretty, and Torveld, and Jord (we've read that 'cute' quote where he describes Laurent at 15 to Aimeric). Not saying fat = ugly. I'm saying it seems like the 'hegemonic' body type for pretty is Laurent's, otherwise. . . why would everyone he comes in contact with comment on his pretty looks?

[zevzevarainai]

do you have ocs? i'd love to hear about them!!

i have so many ocs i cant hold them all

currently the ones i am fixated on (because the pandemic made me regress) are literally revamped versions of my ocs when i was like, 9, based on toys i had... but that's information you gotta beg me for

The more Relatable ocs I have include the ones from video games with character creation. Some of them have tags on my blog. I will focus on the big ones and leave the others in the dust. just like my sketchbook.

Dragon Age: (if youve never played da i apologize)

my hero of ferelden Opal Tabris who i have had since early high school and if you couldn't tell from my url, she loves zevran. seems cold on the outside but is super caring and kind on the inside

my blue hawke Jade Hawke she loves fenris... i dont have any da2 gifs of her bc i dont have in on pc

and then I have multiple inquisitors i actually care about my most fleshed out is Bade Lavellan who was originally created for Dorian back in 2014 but has then evolved into being in love with my friend's da oc, Mahonan, an angry and traumatized dalish elf. I like their dynamic better because in summary, Bade is kind to everyone and puts others before himself even though the world is constantly dragging him through the dirt. They balance each other out. He also doesnt think hes fit to be a leader but tries because he thinks he has to. I also REALLY care about his best friendship with Sera they both help each other be better people

Next up is Athera Lavellan, aka necromancer barbie. She's a Dalish mage who cares about her people before all else and feels like she's betraying her clan by being inquisitor, but she knows she can do good in the inquisition. She LOVES Blackwall they are very codependent on each other and like grossly in love

I also have Amber Trevelyan which i usually dont like playing humans if I have another choice but I decided to make a backstory for her to make her more interesting. Her noble family disowned her when her magic was discovered so she found family in the circle (but shes not necessarily pro-circle. she hates templars and her eye scar is from a templar). Vivienne is her new mom and she's in love with Sera

Mass Effect:  I only have one and it’s Evangeline Shepard she’s a paragon because i cant be mean she loves Thane and hates Earth because of her Tragic Backstory

Stardew Valley:

This is Jude i love him he’s nice and gay and could probably be a lumberjack if he put on plaid. he likes nerdy junk and is stoked when he learns magic is real. he quickly becomes close with sebastian and wants to experience the magic with him :’’’)     (im not very good at art but the only other picture i have is his little in-game pixels)

I also have another farmer named Lorna. I dont have a good picture of her but she’s a goofball and has a big ol’ crush on Penny

Fallout:

I like your courier so I’ll put mine here too! Her name is Rapunzel. Why? I don’t know. That’s just what I put in the character creator all those years ago. Maybe after getting shot in the head since she had memory loss she forgot her name but remembered liking the fairy tale? your guess is as good as mine. Bisexual disaster. Would be dead if it wasn’t for boone&arcade and her high speech skill.  She acts bubbly and sarcastic which she is but its partly bc shes using it to hide the fact that she doesnt think of herself as anything more than a “deadbeat mailman” and thinks she has no place having such influence over new vegas and the mojave. She has a big school girl crush on Boone which may or may not be unrequited but she’s like his best friend and instead she sees herself as clingy and annoying and an inconvenience.

I do not have a good picture of her I apologize but shes basically just like blonde with green eyes

[constellaj]

I do adore your gay Lucky in Love rewrite. But I do wonder how you do a rewrite within the actual episode. Such as Dash's POV of the water park shenanigans (I'm convinced that that the water guns are filled with soda, to get the sprayie sticky) and Dash's POV of the "We're dating now!" hallway moment (maybe Kawn can ask Dash if he's okay) and begrudgingly acknowledging that "Paulina" likes Danny (the look on Dash's face and the "jerk, I mean pal")

I would say that the thing that ought to be redone in Lucky in Love is the characters motivations, for nearly all of them at points in the episode.

I do not buy that Johnny would have wondering eyes when he so devoted to Kitty, and the whole "to make the ex jealous" is a lame trope and Kitty was way to affectionate to Danny for that. I would buy that moving from the ghost zone to the real world is stressful adjustment (hiding from the Fenton ghost hunters and such) could inspire fights and they break-up. And Kitty tries to be on her own for awhile but doesn't know how to handle that, and gets re-bound feelings for the only other eligible ghost-boy around (which Shadow catches wind of which makes him furious and he tries to kill Danny before Kitty make "horrible mistake"). Kitty should have purposefully picked Paulina to possess because she's a high-profile girl who Danny is already crushing on and mean enough to "not deserve" to be in control. And when Danny finds out the truth, I think Kitty could have added the threat of physically hurting if he didn't comply (such as I like Kitty, she has zero qualms about completely taking over others girls lives and expending them, which is scary).

The A-list being a literal exclusive club with limited members is too dumb to be silly. But friend groups splintering and shifting due to one or more friends changing, or when newly-dating teens unintentionally neglect their friendships, is something I do buy. Dash could be so livid about his best-female-friend suddenly and inexplicably dating his crush that he becomes unbearable to be around even for Kwan, who might want to try to make new friends, and give Sam and Tucker a try.

As for Danny, when he found out that Paulina was being possessed by a girl ghost the whole time, it seemed that his initial concern was getting Paulina back in control of her own body, which is the correct response. But then it shifted to him feeling "suffocated" by Kitty. His discomfort should have stayed on the fact that Paulina was being dated against her will, which should make Danny feel sick with guilt.

This turned out longer than expected. You can pick and choose what to respond to if at all.

----

(tl;dr for anyone who doesn’t know my lucky-in-love-but-gay rewrite:

Johnny and Kitty are taking a couples’ break, and Shadow, who feeds on romance, is whining like a spoiled dog about it. Shadow goes to find another hopeless romantic to possess to eat up love, and encounters Dash watching the romance channel. Dash gets more and more flirtatious, ghostly, and adopts a biker aesthetic as Shadow pulls at his emotions; not fully possessing him, but amplifying his feelings. Shenanigans ensue when Dash can’t decide if he has a bigger crush on Phantom or Fenton. Danny has to find a way to get Shadow out of Dash before Dash becomes reliant on him. Kitty needs to get Shadow back because, if Johnny doesn’t have Shadow, he becomes much more vulnerable.

biker dash art / full ep post)

this is all super fucking inch resting and im publishing this so the rest of the world can see but like generally speaking i think lucky in love is a shit fucking episode all around and it really can’t be saved. johnny and kittys dynamic is so petty and so inherently “Haha i hate my wife right boomers” that I cannot accept it as a way anyone would actually act and for that I don’t think the episode could ever really be “good.” I like to think of johnny and kitty as hapless mushy lovebirds. their only ‘couple fights’ are saying things like

{ID: a discord script I had with @crystalfloe​. it reads: Johnny: Well what do you want me to DO? You know you’re at fault too here- what about all those road trips huh, constant road trips with you snuggling me from behind?

Kitty, scowling: You gave me a BLACK ROSE on my birthday, you KNOW that’s my favorite color!

Johnny: Yeah, you got me the EXACT part I was wanting for my bike even though I only said the name once! You just REMEMBERED!

Danny: Woah hey let’s not fight here.... does this count as fighting?

Kitty: YOU spent the entire day I was sick making me food even though you had a BOYS NIGHT planned!

Johnny: YOU’RE just a BEAUTIFUL LOVING PERFECT PERSON! And now Shadow’s a glutton for ROMANCE!

Kitty: Well maybe if YOU weren’t so SELF SACRIFICIAL and full of UNBRIDLED CARE AND INTIMACY he WOULDN’T BE!

Johnny: How DARE you say I’m the more loving one and therefore the PROBLEM-

Kitty: I’m really starting to hate you and your CUTE FACE, Johnny!

Johnny: Yeah- well, I’m starting to get real sick of your adorable EYES, Kitty!

End ID.}

If you want to rewrite Lucky in Love, to me, you have two options: absolutely decimate canon, or work within it. Decimating canon (ie, making Dash gay) comes with also deconstructing Johnny and Kitty’s toxic relationship into something actually worth rooting for, which in turn unravels the entire episode because the premise is... it’s a bad relationship. If you want to work within canon, the episode as is is pretty much the best you can get, because no way in hell would they let Dash be gay in canon.

While your takes are interesting, it’s not the kind of media I personally would like; the whole “Kitty could have added the threat of physically hurting if he didn't comply“ doesn’t sit well with me at all, so I can’t say it’s something I would ever engage with, personally.

Also, I don’t need canon to be 100% serious all the time, personally I love the bit about the A-Listers having a formal club with like, paperwork and stuff, it’s genuinely funny and also provides a nice clean-cut metaphor for how Danny as an “unpopular” kid might view the way the popular kids work. I don’t think the writers thought that was actually how popular kids work, I think they were playing with it and expanding on how a kid might see it.

You’re right that the focus of the episode should have been on Paulina’s bodily autonomy, which I think the OG was lacking in even as is because we didn’t get anything from Paulina’s POV; she’s treated more as a prop than a person, which, yikes.

But in summary, while this is interesting, none of it is how I would rewrite lucky in love if given the chance; if canon-divergent, I’d probably tweak the biker dash concept; if canon-compliant, I’d try to make it more of a jokey episode, maybe making the conflict between Kitty and Johnny a “I have to get him a secret birthday present without him knowing” instead of a “I am going to make him jealous by cheating on him.”

[dented-nado]

Well since you specifically asked: Twiddler

“Yah I like Eddie but he’s straight // BAD LUCK, HUH?”

“No he’s not”

“NO IM NOT??”

Shenanigans

I’m dying right now, the ol’ Harv(ey) stubbornly thinks that Edward fucking Nygma is s  t r a  I g ht love it.  Still one of my fave convos we’ve ever had.

==================

Eddie’s POV

 =====================

It had been about a year since he had joined the sort of halfway home that Bruce Wayne had opened up for Ex-Rogues. However Eddie was somewhat convinced the billionaire he now realized had been Batman the whole time (pfft, he totally could have figured that out… he just… hadn’t…) rather liked having he, Harley, and Harv(ey) as a sort of odd band of roommates. And well… a literal mansion wasn’t a bad place to stay in by any stretch of the imagination.

He certainly had expected (and been quietly and not so quietly jealous) that because Harv(ey) and Bruce had apparently been close as far back as when they were children, Wayne would certainly be ecstatic to have Two-Face hanging around. He still was a little bit taken a back that well… anyone would want him around.

But he really was trying to reform. Maybe part of it was because the routine had gotten boring and he’d started finding more quiet and less destructive games and puzzles more entertaining these days. Besides, he realized he could have more fun with such things when he wasn’t being hauled back to Arkham because he’d taken things a little too far so often.

That being said, he had a new focus, a new goal.

And that was the previously mentioned Harv(ey) Dent. The giant, the absolute unit that towered over him.

Two souls for the price of one. Harvey was quietly intelligent (though sometimes a little bit delightfully oblivious), kind, and soft. Then Harv, he was bold, had a wonderfully fun fashion sense, and had a gravelly voice that admittedly caused Eddie’s mind to pull a blank at times.

They were a man that could have half their face burned to a crisp with acid and still be the only man that had been in Arkham (in Edward’s opinion) that could really get it.

He still remembered the first time “two-face” had been escorted into Arkham, the sight of them had knocked the wind right out of him, completely stopped his plotting for his next attempt to outsmart Batman.

Sure, perhaps he had heard and sort of seen images of Harvey Dent, the famous distract attorney that had been nicknamed Gotham’s “white knight” on the tiny, crappy TV they were occasionally allowed to watch when they were let out of their cells. But that never did him justice.

Seeing him here? Up close?

What a man. A handsome man, carved by angels and blessed by the devil

Now if only he could get Harv(ey) Dent to notice him.

Since that day he’d tried time and time again under the hope that maybe just maybe… this giant of a man would consider a relationship of sorts.

He tried to impress them with his vast intellect, sitting close to him and going off about any fact or subject he happened to know. He then tried to drill Harvey about his knowledge as a lawyer (which he thought also might just be interesting to know). They were certainly a good listener… and Harvey warmed up to talking about legal jargon and the pains of law school with Eddie eventually.

He was able to talk to Harv about their mutual love of fun patterns and bright colors and agreed that anyone who dissed it just didn’t understand fashion. He also realized soon that Harv loved to talk when he was acknowledged, and Eddie was more than happy to encourage him to and lightly swoon at that voice.

However, they were still only on a ‘good pals’ basis.

Which maybe Eddie could have accepted, except he caught Harvey staring at him at times, smiling slightly whenever Eddie would talk about what interested him. And Harv, he had gotten Harv to laugh a few times.

There was something there, he knew it, but for some reason he couldn’t puzzle out, Dent wasn’t acting on it.

It continued to this day. Harley had suggested to Edward he simply outright tell Harv(ey) Dent he was interested in them. But that wasn’t fun or interesting, and certainly not as romantic as Eddie would like.

So, after years of frustration now, he decided he’d go to the one person who had known Harv(ey) Dent their whole life for advice.

 ============

Bruce’s POV

============

“So, that’s my dilemma.”  Edward finished, pushing up his glasses in a very matter-of-fact way.

Bruce sighed. The only person who had ever rivaled his own stubbornness and… stupidity when it came to others having an romantic interest in them, was in fact Harv(ey) Dent. This would no doubt be difficult.

He wasn’t even sure how he managed to get into a relationship with Clark and Diana, so he wasn’t sure how much of a help he’d be trying to get Harv(ey) and Eddie to pair up.

“I’m decently sure he’s interested in you.” He replied.

“I’m quite sure too, however nothing I do seems to get them to do anything.” Eddie expressed, looking completely exasperated.

“hrrn....” Bruce grumbled thoughtfully. “What have you tried so far?”

“Well… I’ve given them gifts, flowers seemed like a sure-fire method- yet he seemed to somehow take them as a platonic gift.”

Bruce stared at Eddie for a long moment. “Who gives flowers platonically?”

Eddie shrugged.

Bruce sighed. “Dammit Harvey… Harv…” He mumbled under his breath. “I could try talking to them, get some better idea of what’s going on their head, could be Harvey and Harv keep arguing on how they want to respond.” He suggested.

Eddie nodded thoughtfully. “That may be the case, that is a possibility I had not considered… thank you for your assistance batma….. ah… Bruce…” He corrected with a slight grin.

Bruce half smiled back.

Batman was on the case.

====

“So… Harv…. Harvey…” Bruce began wandering over to where they were sitting.

They were seemingly switching between drinking a hot coffee and a Frappuccino.

Harvey had complained more than once that because of their disagreements Harv ended up making them consume way too much sugar. Too much caffeine in this case it seemed.

Their eyes flicked over to him.

“Hi Bruce.”

“What’s up Pretty Boy?”

Bruce sat down across from them. “Eddie seems to be interested in you.”

Never hurt to be blunt with a lawyer.

Harvey snorted. “That’d be nice… he is really cute but…”

“I’m sure Eddie is straight, just our luck, right?”

Bruce had never been so shocked in all his life.

Straight?

Eddie…

Straight?! E d  d I  e.

Str a I ght, Edward Nygma E Nygam s t ra ight

The two concepts being put together caused a complete error in Bruce’s mind that was slowly beginning to fry.

Who could possibly conclude that Edward was s t r aight?

The riddler…. The riddler who for a while greeted Batman like he was lowkey interested in a literal love-hate relationship

Edward

Str a I ght.

“Are you… fucking kidding me?” Bruce ended up stammering before he even realized it. “He’s not… at all!”

Harvey blinked at him a few times in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

Bruce gaped at them. They couldn’t be serious.

“Harvey… I… Harv… he… he’s not exactly subtle about it. In fact he’s very open, very much out and proud, flaming even. I’m sure he’d agree.”

Harvey looked at Bruce through squinted eyes. “Are you sure Bruce?”

“Sure, maybe he’s a bit more flashy than your average guy, but that doesn’t mean gay.” Harv added with a shrug.

“He calls you handsome at least 3 times a day.” Bruce said still staring at Harv(ey) like they were absolutely insane.

“Lots of people do.”

“Have you ever seen him even flirt with any women??” Bruce asked in disbelief.

“No but… well there’s always been more men in Arkham, and when do you even have time for that?”

Bruce was somewhere in-between wanting to laugh at them and slap them.

“He’s given you flowers.”

“Pretty sure he’s just being friendly.”

“Friendly…” Bruce wheezed.

This conversation was taking years off his life at this point. He shook his head and texted Edward.

“Get in here (the living room downstairs) It’s important”

Edward slid in and sat peppily down on the couch with Bruce within a few minutes, causing Harv(ey) to look between Eddie and Bruce in confusion.

“You rang Mr. Wayne~?” Eddie asked with a cheeky grin as he leaned his head against his hand.

“You know what these men just said to me?” Bruce began folding his hands together.

“Bruce nooo…” Harvey pleaded.

“No no, I think he should know.” Bruce insisted.

Eddie raised his eyebrows comically high. “Well don’t keep me waiting, what’s the tea?”

Bruce cleared his throat. “They said… they’re sure you’re straight.”

Eddie stared at Bruce for a minute, eyes widening.

“Me?” He asked completely baffled.

Bruce nodded.

Eddie threw back his head and laughed until his face turned red and he had trouble breathing.

Harv(ey) looked on stiffly, feeling as if they had made a mistake somewhere as the dawning realization slapped them in the face.

 ============

Harv(ey)’s POV

===================

It was bad enough they had put themselves in denial so far they had missed out starting something with the small bean-pole riddle-man much earlier…

But now because they had convinced themselves Eddie was straight and therefore could have no interest in them… Eddie and Bruce were refusing to let them live it down.

And Bruce seemed to have gotten literally everyone in on the joke. Anyone Bruce hadn’t told between his partners and his massive family, Eddie had told.

Harley had begun kissing Ivy in front of them while they both traded off saying “no homo tho” between kisses until Harv(ey) groaned and left the room in a huff, leaving them both laughing maniacally.

Eddie had begun dramatically entering a room with a flourish announcing “Ladies and Gentlemen, Guys, Gals, and Non-binary pals, the straightest man alive has arrived, you may all start the party.”

Even when they first slept together, Edward had started quietly laughing and mumbling about “how straight, and very much not gay at all this occurrence was.”

Bruce hadn’t been able to look at them in weeks without breaking out into a full on belly laugh at his expense, mumbling something along the lines of “The Riddler, st r a I ght, good lord...”

On one hand they were happy Bruce was laughing more but god dammit…

They felt a bit dumb about it to say the least.

“How did we ever think Eddie was straight?” Harvey thought to himself.

“I don’t fucking know. I really… really… don’t.”                                                                                          

Well… maybe giving everyone a little levity while still being able to date a cute red-head that seemed to know the strangest facts about almost everything that they could enjoy listening to him babble about for hours happily…. Was all worth it. Even if they were embarrassed by their comically stupid brand of denile.

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

no pressure or anything but if you ended up writing this my little nerdy punk heart would have been eternally grateful 🥺 (and please, please, please, boyband him a little, that hair can't go to waste) love you!!!!!💖 these tags actually made my day so thanks!!!!!!

hello jo, i hope you're doing well!! <3 sorry abt taking a while to get to this ask, i have been a little out of it, and i didn't want to half ass a reply to something as important as a natie themed ask....

this entire concept is 100% on my to-write list!!! i have a lot of thoughts about nate figuring himself out/figuring out who he is away from his family's expectations of him and the ideas people who think they know him have of him (since he's so popular, everyone thinks they know him, he can't escape the reputation that follows him around, etc etc).

in fact, since we're talking about this - i made a list of connected, nate-focused, stuff! and this response got RIDICULOUSLY long. so. 11-point bullet list focusing on nate, here you go!

you might enjoy my natessa fic "out of focus". it's not exactly this, but it is sort of the first time i dip my toe into the pool of.. whatever this concept is. nate lets vanessa buy him a shirt he would never pick out for himself. things go on from there!

i have a lot of thoughts about nate & ruby, specifically. we never actually got to see her, but i think he'd awkwardly gravitate towards her in that way that you do when you're young & queer and you meet an Openly Gay And Comfortable person for the first time. and i think ruby would see this and kind of adopt him/take him under her wing? anyway.

more natefic i am yet to write involves nate coming out to vanessa, vanessa being the first person he comes out to, it's after a lesbian punk concert and he's hyperventilating a bit and he KNOWS v will support him. she has literally shown him in a million ways that she's a good ally to the lgbtq+ community, and vanessa's just like, "what's wrong?" and nate is like. "nothing's wrong, and i really like you, but i'm not - i don't - " and then he says something awkward and stumbles through how he likes men, and vanessa gives him a hug and kisses his cheek and says "thank you for telling me that"

anyway i bring up #2 and #3 just to say that i feel nate has a sort of comfort with the abrams sisters that he doesn't have with anyone else at the time (he will eventually get here with blair and serena too, but in s1? they ALL had their own shit to deal with and i don't think nate was really in a place to open up to them, whereas vanessa & ruby aren't his childhood friends so in that way, it's easier, etc). and i love the thought of like. vanessa bleaching his hair super pale, ruby buying him a hair straighter (and of course he knows how to use it, he's blair waldorf's ex boyfriend what do you expect of him) and just. the abrams sisters - without even realising they're doing it - giving nate a space to explore who he is and specifically, his presentation

so we can either roll with nate being a trans man, which i LOVE, and am trying to write a fic about - OR - and it makes sense here, with these headcanons specifically, i feel like nate would maybe be one of those cis people who's explored their gender identity, realised they're cis, and therefore, is far more in touch with their gender than the average cis person?

connected to THAT, i have a fic in the works in which nate just presents... extremely femme. he goes super flamboyant, dresses in a way that puts himself on everyone's gaydar, etc etc. at first he does it to be like "fuck you" to his family, but after a bit he realises he actually really likes being perceived in that way, as a queer man, as a pretty queer man, and it makes him feel in control & good about himself to be able to do all these stereotypically feminine things WHILE identifying 100% as a man. putting on nail polish and mascara and gloss, wearing very femme things and heels, etc etc, it makes nate feel like himself in a way that he's never really felt before. (he IS a cis man.) dan bumps into nate at a gay bar, doesn't recognise him at first (this is a very au fic, i think they've lost touch since high school ended) and then promptly falls in love with nate AND has a gender identity crisis that goes a bit like "well nate maybe you can do these things and still identify as male but i can't" and it's just... trans dan my beloved.

unconnected to all that, you know what would've been fun? s2 nate is staying with the humphreys arc, and jenny... dyes his hair for him, and designs outfits for him, and basically both of them just. go thru a whole fashion revamp together.

i have a lot of ideas for futurefics in which jenny is like. 18, 19, etc and has a cool new line of men's clothing, but she doesn't have the $$ to hire a professional model for her clothes OR she wants the person modelling the clothes to be someone who Gets her mission statement in designing them (this is better but it could sorta be a combination of both) and essentially she awkwardly asks nate to model lingerie for her. he is like, of course! because i'm me, this doesn't go anywhere romantically, but if a jenate shipper wants to take this idea and run with it, go ahead, just credit me, lmaooo. i will definitely write this fic to centre around nate & jenny both being really gay, which is the other direction altogether, so that doesn't bother me.

since we're speaking about nate in lingerie, this fic of mine's first birthday is coming up in a few days! wow, it's been a whole yEAR.

so, disclaimer, any and all fics that centre around Identity... always take a lot out of me + i always have to be in a very specific headspace to write them (that's why the nonbinary dan series is taking ages, too). so while i really DO wanna write all the nates exploring how they present and, as the kids say, fucking around and finding out, it might be a while!

oh. this reminds me*. i REALLY have to finish writing my demisexual nate fic... it's a tricky thing to write. i have another fic im yet to write about how sleeping with dan makes nate re-evaluate a lot of things, in a very trauma survivor way (like an "oh, this is what it feels like to be with someone who respects me!" kind of way) and that... i want to write it sooo bad but i gotta do the idea justice. life is Hard.

*if anyone is curious about my thought process - “nate fucking around and finding out” ... wait, a bit like.. “nate fucking around and finding out that he doesn’t even like to fuck around, which is what happens in THESE fics i’m writing, let me just,...” etc.

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[sanstropfremir]

Okay, time for my weekly rant so buckle up. The vocal stages were okay-I cant really remember them well because I watched them only once so take what I say with a grain of salt. Well I watched the Spark one once and I only got through half of the other one because I can’t stand ballads especially when there’s no interesting movement on stage to keep me engaged. Like it’s no fault of the members themselves or the song (I actually think their singing was incredibly beautiful and Eunkwang always sings like his wife just left him with the kids which is how you know he’s good) but I physically could not pay attention. That’s why I liked the spark stage a bit better-there was enough movement that I was able to focus on it. I really liked the use of the fire and the way they were walking in and out of the frame trading off parts so there weren’t too many awkward moments where the other members where on stage but not doing anything. The opening was gorgeous with each members being lit by the spotlight as they harmonize. So stagewise, I prefer Spark but vocally I think the other group was stronger. I love Spark and Taeyon is such an incredible vocalist (I mean the song is great because of her) so I don’t get why their delivery was, I don’t want to say weak, but subdued might be a better word. The only one that really stood out was Junhoe (but also that man couldn’t not stand out even if he tried, not with that incredibly rasp) and even he seemed to be holding himself back a bit. Though it was a bit slow it built up well to the two last choruses but still the first half could have been stronger. I know they were trying to draw it out to a strong pay off but I don’t really know if it was enough. And yes the suits were *chef’s kiss*. I think at this point in their career the FNC stylist has put SF9 in so many suits they’ve got it down to a science. Also I’m a sucker for those shirts with the triangle cut out and we got not one but two of them here.

Okay moving on, I’m not sure which group was next but I’ll talk about the Ikon stage. It seems like they finally realized that they’re on a performance based competition show so they decided to pull out the big guns. Love the little skit at the beginning (making sure people don’t forget that they’re YG), it was cute and refreshing. I really appreciated how they leaned into the campy acting in this stage (Stray kids did it too-just adding to the similarities between their stages). The song was meh but I also don’t really like BP especially not their recent stuff so it’s not a big deal. I would have preferred if they had gone with another song maybe Whistle or As If It’s Your Last or if they’d done a 2NE1 song like Chanwoo mentioned some point in the episode. I also think the stage would have been way smoother if they’d let Ikon and Lisa interact. Like if the boys appeared in her set after her section and then they all moved back to the first jungle set and then the whole thing turns gold and they did a dramatic outfit change (but with better jackets because theirs look like they came out of Party City). I also get what you mean about the dancers outfits not being that great. I actually really liked the outfits of Lisa’s dancers in isolation but they didn’t match with her or the set so they threw me off a bit. At least with the ikon members they were going for a modern look so the dancers outfits didn’t look that strange in comparison. Do you think it would have been better if they were white? How would you have improved then? The best way I can describe this performance was that it was a stage, stuff happened, I enjoyed myself but I don’t plan to revisit it anytime soon. Oh and we also have to give points for them cursing on national television not once but twice (at this point Jinwan deserves to say fuck).

Now to Stray Kids. So I feel like I need to preface this with the fact that I am actually a stray kids fan (I won’t call myself a stay because I don’t associate with the fandom) and though I’ve been really critical of them and their stages tend to be my least favorite I still have a soft spot for them (I got into this show because of them after all). I loved, loved, loved the intro with Felix (and yes his biggest flaw is that he’s Australian but I forgive him for it) and the way it immediately transitions into the chorus of DDD-the abrupt transition does fit really well with the Deadpool theme and I guess it is the closest they’re going to get to the feeling of yeeting themselves into traffic like in the movie. Interesting choice to start with the chorus. Now that I’m rewatching it I do really wish they stuck with the comic theme. I think that’s my gripe with SKZ-they have a lot of good ideas but they move on too quickly from them. Just pick a handful of things and sprinkle them throughout instead of cycling through them at breakneck speed. Like okay they’re doing Deadpool and he’s a comic character so keep the comic styling (it would have been a good thing to put in the projection behind Seungmin’s scene), maybe in the subway they could have had some fight choreo so the guns coming in at Lee Knows part aren’t out of nowhere (also someone please tell me they were trying to recreate the meme with the cat and the knives, please I need to know). I absolutely agree that them having a goal or an antagonist would have really helped the story along. I mean they literally have a spoken intro so why couldn’t Felix just tell us who they were fighting (and I’m pretty sure in the movie Wade tells us he’s trying to kill Francis in that scene sooo). As always they put more focus on the rappers (please can we get less Changbin and more Seungmin, Jeongin, or Lee Know or at least give Felix more parts). Seungmin was the real mvp of this stage and he had the best outfit (I think it qualifies for Hanya’s best gay little outfit list). Personally I with they hadn’t gone with Gods Menu again. I’ve been hoping that they would perform My Pace (and maybe remix it with their B-side TA off their Go Live album) because that would be such a fun stage. Again, I enjoyed myself but I won’t revisit it anytime soon. At this point the only groups I actually look forward to are BTOB and SF9 (they’re doing fucking Move and I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified-there’s a clip of Taeyang covering Move from a variety show or interview and I think he does it really well so I know at least one of them can pull it off). Again thanks for creating space where I can info dump and I hope I said something of interest to you!

i think you wrote more than me!! i love this, im gonna put my response under a cut im not being super obnoxious on the dash.

i get that the mayfly stage would be not as visually stimulating for people and usually i would count myself in with that crowd because i love a good spectacle but i think because i watched the spark stage first and my colour perception is sometimes weird so when there's a lot of movement with very little colour variation my tiny pea brain loses track of whats happening really quickly. especially with red. so it was kind of difficult for me to pay attention to the spark stage in the second half. also i absolutely HATE watching people flub on stage because it brings up such visceral secondhand feelings that i couldn't even watch the stage when i started the full episode today.

i love a good suit but you know what i would also love: sf9 in more costume variations. tbh im just getting nitpicky about it because im a costume designer down to the core and i got trained by a designer who specialized in doing avant garde costuming so i tend to skew more towards wild than reserved. it looks like the move stage wont be be suits so ill take it, but oh man to do i want to see some really crazy stuff. which i know they'll never do because idols have to be pretty at all times or the fans get mad but oh i want it so badly.

do you mean how i would improve ikon's backup dancers outfits or lisa's? here why dont i do both. for lisa's dancers i would have just done away with that harness shape all together, its almost exclusively a military style. the jackets by themselves would have been fine but really what they should have done was put them in something that matched the gold but contrasted enough to give them shape. by having at least her dancers in all black on a gold stage there was a lot of "haha look at me do a duck walk because lets throw in some voguing for spice." they could have gone with a mesh bodysuit idea similar to what she was wearing or even just different colour coats. as for ikon's backup dancers, firstly pants. not black. or even a longer skirt. genuinely a part of the reason why i dont watch girl group content is because i HATE the hem length of the shorts they make everyone wear. words cannot describe how much i hate that cut. kpop is so obsessed with showing off women's bodies and especially their legs but they do it in the LEAST flattering way possible because it "can't be too risqué," just shoot me now. i hate it. i hate it so fucking much. yea yea everybody was on cocaine in the 80s whatever but at least they were all wearing french cut bodysuits so their legs looked fantastic. stop interrupting the lines!! anyways. pants so the only section of skin showing is thigh to mid calf, especially because they weren't even doing any fun legwork! if they really wanted to keep the full sleeve bodysuits they shout have done them in a fabric with a texture or external embellishments, like a patent/vinyl or sequins/rhinestones. something to catch the stage lights so we can actually see the shape of the limb. but the easiest way to fix it is literally just cut the arms off the bodysuits. stages are lit to show off skin, sometimes the best way to have something be seen is just to have it bare.

i agreed skz cycles through ideas way too fast, they need to just pick a couple and stick them out through the stage instead of just adding more and more different ones throughout. also ok good someone else noticed that there is just...so much changbin. we don't need that much changbin. i know there's other boys in the group let them do something! also im pretty sure theyre not recreating the cat knife meme but actually the promo image from john wick chapter two, which i also could have sworn i saw a deadpool version of as an instagram ad back when movies were happening, but now that im looking for it it doesn't exist so i might be crazy.

im excited for the move stage but im also trepidatious because...its move. i have NO clue what the concept is from the previews so i just hope its weird enough to take it enough out of the taemin context for me to enjoy it.