#maybe keep a few pretties
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Honestly really thinking about cutting my lair down to less than 100 permas. Which... Is a lot to consider because I have over 500 permas currently.
#Ima keep ya#I wanna do a lot more dom stuff#maybe keep a few pretties#and my fandragons have to stay ofc#but... I really only LOVE a few of my dragons. I am willing to yeet my progens and older dragons for good tbh.#I dont wanna see them exalted but tbh they could be very good levelers aside from Knight#flight rising#flightrising#they are mostly level 25s or are pretty anyways#But tbh only nightfire might get a pass. Mothking -my most used mire flyer - might be training his replacement soon..#Nightfire is also... easy to replace? He's Abyss/Abyss/Cyan. 3 treasure genes. Skydancer
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Okay so with the line "the olive tree where we first met" we have two equal hilarious options.
When penelope was sassily like oh I'll marry you if you make a living bed out of this tree right here! Cue penelope stumbling over odysseus very very carefully digging up the tree "because how else is he going to get it to itacha we can't have a wedding bed out in the open in sparta duh"
Or
2. Penelope, knowing that Helen's suitors would soon be arriving to take over her home for a while. Snuck out and went on her own wacky shenanigan filled journey where she scoped out all the major players. Odysseus caught her spying in an olive tree. And when she got back she told Helen she had dibs on the cutie from itacha.
#epic the musical#epic spoilers#Itacha saga#penelope#Odysseus#Odypen#odysseus x penelope#Young odypen courting was filled with wacky nonsense basically canon confrimed#The line ā....where we first metā implying that they first met under that specific olive tree#Which has to have some absolutely insane logistics that only odypen (and maybe Athena) could pull off#Odypen being š„° š¤ rat bastards in love#Option one odysseus Athena please please please helpppp me pen said she'd only marry me if I made a wedding bed out of this tree#Athena: once again I think you are praying to the wrong person but fuck it how do you think you're going to keep that tree alive#Odysseus: ....a large bucket?#Athena gimme a sec okay I need to go have ares bash my skull in before I watch something this stupid#Athena: checking in on penelope her chosen weaver only for her to be pulling her hair out#Penelope (to her cousins): why did I fucking say that! Beating fathers already an impossible challenge why did I say that#He's going to think I was making fun of him! He's not going to want to marry me now!#Helen: weren't you? Making fun of him?#Penelope: That's not the point!#clytemnestra: Hey he's digging the tree up and has the biggest bucket I've ever seen#Penelope: what?! Trips over every item in the room and gets tangled in her curtains blushing like crazy#Athena: ....it's been a while since I checked up on diomedes training. He'd never put me through this nonsense#Option 2#Helen's maybe a little nervous and wants to know more about who she has to potentially marry and penelope promises her she'll get rundown#Helen did not expect penelope to disappear but she probably should have....it'll probably be fine. Right?#Some kings penlope just straight up greets some she stays hidden and spies#Odysseus is the only one who catches her (he trains woth Athena in the olive Grove#She was not happy when odysseus nearly tripped onto her spear point face first when he saw the strange pretty girl)#And odysseus who's been king for a few years now knows every lady's face because he'll probably have to marry one of them someday
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Thank you guys for dealing with me
#man I have just been really upset lately actually#late 2024 to now has just been the mask I didnt know I had was slipping#and me going āoh actually I'm pretty miserable and I was just trying to hide it from myself. what the fuck.ā#and keeping those bad feelings away is getting harder and harder#i broke down completely a few days ago and had to leave dinner so my dad checked on me because I left my plate and i just. unloaded on him#I didn't even get to say everything because there's so much and im still learning how to articulate what makes me mad about my situation#he said that he can get me to see a professional (I was like LMAO FIRST TIME I SOB IN FRONT OF YOU UNPROMPTED YOU GET PROS INVOLVED?)#<- to be fair both my sisters asked for professional help and have been medicated before and he's on mental health meds too#he said maybe me talking to someone will make things better (I agree because maybe they'll help me be able to make a change in my house)#<- (cuz some stuff is just. unfair actually. and makes me super mad)#(like wdym the only minor works WAYYY more than half the house. wtf)#and also. since my social anxiety has been acting up lately and so has my paranoia. he said maybe medication would help#my social anxiety was so bad before school ended. whenever my Spanish teacher mentioned talking with people i felt sick#I've also hit my limit lately where if I'm having a bad day. one mildly annoying think makes me freak out and spiral#Like having to get toilet paper for the upstairs bathroom bc we ran out made me crash tf out#seeing people get paper plates made me so mad & complained to my sister who called me hostile for some things I said#<- And I started sobbing which was when my dad checked on me and i told him everything#man. being constantly environmentally conscious is so annoying when people in your house don't fucking care sometimes. i get sad#i feel like im personally being punished for needing to see people be wasteful because omg it gives me such guilt#sorry. tangent#i'm just really tired#of everything#I've felt like I've been annoying lately. that im not cool or funny or enjoyable#that I'm a burden you tolerate out of the goodness of your hearts or out of pity#I've felt like that for so so long#It's hard. realizing that being proud of my abilities was what kept me happy for so long. I am proud of what I can do#<- but I don't know if it's sustainable? loving yourself for accomplishments instead of for you#sorry for being depressing#vent
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i've only got a few goals in mind for next year and number one is to draw more riley and lance. nearly half of these have riley in em and i have GOT to draw more of him. hashtag rileysweep
#kagarambles#end of year art summary#art summary 2024#i ain't tagging all the characters here. However i'd say this was a pretty good year despite a few hiccups#most i haven't posted because the time slipped from me/i didn't have too much to post lately#theres a lot that i Can't post because its visual novel dev. gotta keep my secrets til i make a halfway decent beta version#nov was mostly visual novel making so i can't post thoses. however i did like how my slither wing gijinka came out. love that bug!#i Am working on a general hub for my pkmn timeskip designs on neocities/nekoweb. coding a good general base is the current hurdle#toyhouse might be good in the meantime though. i plan on learning some more of that to make some adopts!#been itching to make some designs under a theme i have in mind. new year new hyperspecific challenges to give myself babeyyy#i gotta draw more riley though. fun goal for a fun guy on the mind! i think he deserves a lot of love and that's what i'm gonna do!#favoritest guy of the year award goes to riley!!!#if there's a demand for a zine of him or lance or the johto guys or just a general pokemon zine maybe. maybe i'd make some
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i cant lie, im also beating myself up about not being able to get excited for the new game, or anything anymore it seems, while it can be fun to criticise things, some things you just dont like so badly that the frustration knowing it could be so much better but isnt and you not able to change it outweighs any fun- i dont like being a 'hater', i hate totk, but not bc i hate zelda but bc i LOVE it and want it to be better (though im starting to doubt my ability to do anything good with it too..)
and with the new game trailer (like, i still hope its better than im fearing rn) i feel similarly as when the next totk trailers dropped after the first one (which DID excite me), all of them gave me a sense of dread bc it seemed to go into a direction i wouldnt like, i tried to tone that voice down to enjoy the game, but then .. i was right
i dont want to be an annoying complainer about everything new, but maybe i am and i dont like that thought, i dont want to spoil anyones fun, i want to partake in it :(
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#either way#i know im in a bit of a swamp of bad feelings rn so i dont trust myself and what i say fully#but i have been thinking about trying to only work on destiny in terms of fanart#and look at my original stuff and perhaps gamedev a bit more seriously#dont get me wrong im not 'leaving' the fandom#but the things i like are so few and tiny parts of old games that are pretty much irrelevant to the modern fandom#like trying to keep driving on tires even when they lost all their rubber#after botw and the first botw2 trailer i was so deep into the theories of it all- and now i dont even want to look at the thumbnails#(even if those were largely boring or kinda weird- i felt like i was taking part in a fun group about stuff i like? in a way?)#what scares me about doing more original stuff though is ...#even my fanart was niche and largely not āpopularā so doing oc stuff might be even worse and idk if my frail self worth can handle that dro#and to the last point of the post itself................. maybe a fear of losing community too#like how in school you where at first a part of the class#and as you got older your classmates started to notice how different and weird you were#and then you were alone
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Kayne but heās an Egyptian goose
#They are pretty#ive been looking at a few today#someone should draw this#i cant draw geese#spine speaks#kayne malevolent#I will listen to 53 at sompoint#Maybe train home#its the episode of my rats thats why i keep thinking ive seen the number in malev before#malevolent
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I just need someone to say something that's it thats all I need you can lie you don't have to mean it I just
#gamer txt.#and we can all pretend that it actuallyworked and that i feel better#and ill go Hahaha! of course! i knew you all loved me and would be here if you could! how could i have been so blind!#and everythings tied up so neatly with a pretty little bow of course! thats all i need!#just a few kind words just a reassurance thats it! of course thats it! why would i never need more than that i dont need more than that!#i dont deserve ?#i just need you word please thats all it takes#then ill have a reason to put the mask back on ! knowing that there is an audience after all#an audience that can only offer words. that should be enough words that should help words that are the only thing i can get#but they never.. why ? why not? why dont they work?#not everyones as big a liar as me i can trust what they say#although to be fair no ones ever pegged me as a liar before so maybe it is just really hard to tell#whays it matter i said id settle for a lie right? if its not going to help if its just fuel to keep up the lie then what does it matter
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I have to study for my finals but Law didn't leave me alone.... now I'm writing a fic where after the Heart Pirates get defeated by the Blackbeard pirates, Law is found by the Donquixote family just after they moved to their new mansion to live as humans...
#please. couldnāt you have wait just a few days.#i have to study because they didnāt teach us half of the topics they gave us. do you know how much work that is#i will need all the luck i can get please pray for me so i can keep trying to write coralaw without feeling bad#because it is gonna be coralaw#and maybe doffy idk but coralaw is a must#i miss themmmm#one piece#trafalgar law#donquixote rosinante#coralaw#god i can't wait to be done with my finals#really nervous about it actually#partly because of the reasons above and partly because the director of the library i wanna work at will be there#and i really dont want to humiliate myself#law give me your motivation. let me study like you study medicine. please please pretty please
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Can't stop thinking abt arcane s2, specifically the alternate timelines episode where jayce goes through it and ekko does science.
By the time we'd reached that episode, my sibling and I already disliked the season and were just watching it to see if it managed to get any better later on.
So we were chilling, making fun of this or that and wondering why the pacing was so strange when we started seeing the telltale signs of romance between ekko and powder/jinx. Now, my first thought was "really???" because I'm a hater of 99% of romantic pairings in media and don't find it enjoyable to watch/read. My second thought was "wait wait wait, hold up. explain how this timeline hopping works Right Now."
And thus the alarm bells starting going off as my mind worked overtime to try to figure out how this works. Is this timeline more like an illusion than a concrete world, where the people there will cease to exist when heimerdinger and ekko leave? Did the ekko and heimerdinger of this world get swapped with the ones we've been following? Are our guys in the bodies of their counterparts?
I would have had these thoughts regardless, because I quite enjoy overanalyzing media. The reason the alarm bells were ringing was because, depending on the answer to those questions, the romance between ekko and jinx/powder gets questionable.
As the episode continued it became clear that our ekko (ekko1) was very different from the ekko (ekko2) the people of this new timeline know and expect (which makes sense). To be clear, at this point, regardless of how the timeline hopping works, the romance is Very Uncomfortable. Ekko1 and ekko2 are clearly different people/characters. They could be likened to identical twins, really.
So. We're watching the episode. I'm crocheting a far too long single chain because it's all I know how to do. Sibling is judging me for my single chain of weird, sad brown yarn.
Dance scene comes up. We mock it, as we do with things we find strange, unnecessary, and annoying. The lingering sound of alarm bells is fostered by dread as we watch powder think she's hanging out with her pal ekko2 in a romantic way. The dread grows and the bells clang as we realize "they're going to kiss".
They kiss.
We sit for a moment, silence creeping in as the bells start dying. The episode plays on.
We look at each other.
The episode is finished in disappointed and disgusted silence.
Perhaps my horror was more visceral than my sibling's, as this episode has certainly not stuck with them as it did me, but I just. Whatever cute relationship stuff the creators were going for was ruined Immediately.
Powder kissed someone because she thought they were someone else, and there was nothing done to correct that assumption or apologize or anything. Ekko1 kissed powder while she thought he was ekko2 and that just feels gross and awful to me.
Now, was ekko1 thinking of it like that? I seriously doubt it. Were the creators thinking of it like that? I also doubt it.
But sometimes I just sit and think abt how powder didn't know that it wasn't ekko2 she kissed until ekko1 dipped out of ekko2's body to go back to his own timeline. What did she think about that? After the confusion, what feeling came next?
So yeah, this episode of arcane s2 is on my list of Horrifying Romances, right there with 50 first dates
#how does one tag a text post? no idea lets wing it#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#arcane s2 ep7#pretty sure its ep7 at least#surely my inability to remember titles and numbers won't cause any problems#so maybe im overreacting to this episode#but i can't imagine kissing my boyfriend only to discover that it was actually just a guy who looked exactly like my boyfriend thats been#pretending to be my boyfriend for who knows how long#like thats scary right#its scary to me#anyway i have 2 lists of Horrifying Romances#one for ones ive personally witnessed#and one for ones ive not personally witnessed#the 2nd one is much longer because i try to avoid romance in media when i can#its just not my jam yknow#the reasons why its not my jam are numerous and perhaps worthy of their own discussion but meh#would it be petty to add this episode to my reasons why i dont like romance#cause if given a few thousand words i can absolutely defend adding it#idk i just keep seeing people loving this ep and the ekko/powder relationship in it but i just feel sick#maybe its a me problem#but its absolutely part of why arcane s2 is my eternal enemy#my list of media that i hate is short but by god arcane s2 made it in with points to spare
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Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!
Heās so auxhuehuche Iām so happy I have him now
#This is actually from 10 days ago but i forgot to post it so#I started on the 20th and i just got to equilibrium 3#Im at the part where we should leave luofu but we visit a few friends we made along the way or smth#Im so happy hes my first limited 5 star i love him#Hes my second oshi after dan heng or maybe even my first#I want to change the voicing to english for aventurine but i cant bring myself to abandon ito kento as dan heng#Maybe i can just change it to en for most of penacony and change it back when jing yuan and dan heng somehow appear#Ugh im still regretting missing out on jing yuan voiced by cyyu#But Ito kento#But i also like english dan heng too omg#Oh i also want to hear eng dr ratio bc he acts slightly differently towards aventurine compared to like jp#Like he sounded much more uh passionate in the aventurine keeping up with star rail video and i was living for it#hsr#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail#Aventurine#aventurine hsr#star rail aventurine#Hm idk im not sure if i should skip all 4 characters in 2.2 and after that (firefly and jade etc)#I have almost 100 tickets saved rn but like im not rly sure ab pulling for any of them#Idk im not really attached to any of the characters rn#Maybe i should wait for ruan mei? I donāt particularly love her tho shes inhumane but pretty idrc#Firefly and robin are apparently rly good but i feel like im baiting myself everytime i read another reddit thread and watch another video#Like idk the only 5 stars i have are yanqing dr ratio and aventurine all e0s0 and i dont feel like pulling for topaz either (boothill idk)#im really tempted to pull for jingliu but im probably going to pull for dhil maybe next year when he reruns just bc i like him so again idk
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth š#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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Also, found that 1) there is milkweed directly outside of my yard and 2) the seed pods ?? Have fiber too ??



I'm not sure if I'll be able to harvest even a few of the plants themselves (landlord lives next door and says we're not allowed to touch anything, which seems deeply unfair given that we're paying money to live here but whatever) but I can definitely harvest the seed pod fiber, since it was just sitting in the road lol.
It is SO soft and shiny. I tried drafting some first and it was doable which is how i got excited enough to try and figure out what kind of plant it was in the first place. I wanna mix this first bit with something to maybe have an easier time spinning it !
#not sure what yet#milkweed#as far as i can tell its showy milkweed specifically#im pretty sure the fibers from the stalk should still be spinnable ? thats what the wikipedia page led me to believe#idk theres a few stalks that keep getting run over by cars#maybe she wouldnt notice if i took those#foraging#spinning
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me thinking about watching the penguin even tho i didn't particularly like reeves' batman film, solely bc sofia falcone is hot? more likely than you think.
#sofia falcone#the penguin#personal#she's so pretty!#her in the yellow dress!!#i keep seeing gifs of her in the dcedit tag & i'm swooning#to be fair the penguin was one of the few things i enjoyed about the batman 2022#so maybe i'll give the show a chance
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I shouldn't let a group of individuals influence my actions and/or approach towards something, not even if they take up a majority of the community. Especially if I hold it this near and dear to my heart. But I really need to slowly distance myself away from the Brsrk community altogether over the next few years. For my own good.
#not talking about any of the few brsrk mutuals i have on here#been a part of it since 2020 but URRGGHH how things have fallen apart since miura passed away#i just wished i was a bit older back then so that i'd understand it like I do now#(not that I didn't understand it pretty well for my age back then)#maybe I would've made a few friends that'd ACTUALLY LAST#then go all ābravo six going darkā and just converse with like 2-3 fans that Get It Like I Do.#sure there were always bad corners. what community doesn't have them. but they were easily avoidable if you knew what you're doing.#now they're inevitable to come across even if you just dip your toes into these waters#it's ridiculous to call them corners anymore they're straight up the entire room#99% of the cases it bottles down to a mutation of the dudebro stereotype or a pseudo-intellectual#and that 1%? All digitally dead or moved on from the manga entirely or just barely willing to talk about it anymore.#i think i'll probably end up in that last category as well in... 3 years give or take?#i'll still think about it and it'll continue to influence me just as muchā but i'm likely to give up on sharing those thoughts#and just keep them to myself unless filtered through another work.#em yaps
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Went to a pride event and the event had a booth giving away binders (yes, for free) and I got a new one.
The group is partnered with GC2B so that's the binders they have. Mine fits well, is an interestingly smooth texture, is comfortable, and compresses pretty well. So far, no downsides. The thing is far newer and different from my older (gifted/hand-me-down) GC2B binder and is a short binder, not a tank.
#man²#binding#binders#gc2b#trans#tgnc#transition#reviews#ive been wondering forever where claims that gc2b binders started to go to shit originated from -#- (it always seemed like people were sharing something they heard from someone else) and if the binder quality from there ever improved --#-- ill definitely watch for longevity (ive had my older gc2b since 2021 maybe and its pretty fine#- a few stains but no rips or tears or otherwise aging of the fabric) i hope this new one keeps up. i love it thusfar
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iāve been talking to this guy for literally over two months at this point trying to meet up and freak it but he is literally the busiest man alive and things just keep getting in the way. he had school and was doing a show and there was SUPPOSED to be a couple week period that he was free right before my surgery that turns out he Wasnāt actually, then i left for my surgery obviously but he was still busy anyway, he told me may 17th was when his show would be over so i waited until may 17th then watched it come and go with no response until TODAY where he informed me that he has jury duty next week then starts job training for a summer job. what the actual fuck. sir for someone who claims to want me so bad youāre not doing a very good job of showing it.
#i wouldnāt be so upset if he didnāt keep promising a date/general time then kept Not Following Through#this is like the third or fourth time itās happened and like iām getting pissed now#i kept trying to just hold out because things with my sex life keep not. working. out.#so i was like iām not gonna get this one go itās fine iāll stick it out iāll wait til he can meet up#and like its pretty fuckin evident that itās never going to happen#WHICH WOULDVE BEEN SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING IF HE DIDNT KEEP PROMISING THEN FUCKING UP#AND ALSO SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING IF HE WASNT SO HOT AND TRANSGENDER#UGH#what the fuck#at least i have another tranny who i Think wants me but theyāre much less forward than this one#but i think im gonna ask them to hangout again maybe next weekend or the weekend after (cause also like i did Just have surgery HAHA)#but iām gonna ask them to hangout and im gonna pick their brain about fucking because i need to be fucked so fucking bad#tbh maybe the universe was saving me cause this guy has made a few too many pillow prince jokes#nothing against pillow princess/princes obviously itās just not the dynamic for me iāve tried it and i think truly i need to be with anothe#switch#and also like#if ur a pillow prince JUST SAY THAT#itās annoying for you to dance around it bc i literally have absolutely no idea what heās interested in doing to me bc he like. wonāt talk#about it in a serious way#SO IDK FUCK YOU I GUESS UR LOSS THO#screaming into the void
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