#maybe that should be included in the poll actually

[artoodeetootired]

dress

she’s been his best friend since they were pre-teens; he was a rebellious, unrelenting, and aspiring racer, while she was a witty, energetic, and hopeful journalist. but after all these years, she can’t help but question whether they could be more- despite the challenges that come with her feelings.

op!81 x fem!journalist, best friends to lovers (smau)

🃏masterlist🃏

🥀 “say my name n everythin just stops. i don’t want u like a best friend. only bought this dress so u could take it off…” 🥀

ty for the love on my first smau ! here’s the next per the last poll’s fav choice :) warning: lots & lots of typos/underlying delulu cringe

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser posted a story 6s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

landonorris: solidarity queen ✊🏼

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: u are actually insane

-> wow this is so nice of you.

-> such a great best friend .

-> an even better journalist.

-> ynuser anything to humble u while i am in this industry 🫶🏻

user: you are UNHINGED

logansargeant: careful yn, your favouritism is showing

-> ynuser: it's part of my contract. im the comedic relief of f1 journalism

-> logansargeant: but doesn't will buxton naturally do that

-> ynuser: now THIS convo could get me fired. shoo logan.

-> logansargeant LOLL

mclaren: just 'cause we love you, we'll let this slide

-> ynuser: 🫶🏻😸

fbsfuser: send my fuck you's to them both :D

-> ynuser: already on it 🫡

iMessages

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: landonorris, mclaren, ynuser

oscarpiastri great start to the season @mclaren 💪🏼

the same can't be said about a particular someone tho... betting someone should get fired.

📸: @ynuser

Liked by mclaren, landonorris, ynuser, and 609,993 others

View all 21,008 comments

landonorris i dont support bullying, but exceptions can be made if it's towards you

ynuser if karma doesn't get u first then either stroll or i will

-> user oh my GOD 💀

-> user shots fired LMAOOOO

-> oscarpiastri i'd rather karma than u and...

mclaren and we thought lando was our only pr liability

-> landonorris wait WHAT

-> oscarpiastri that's a bit too insulting towards me

-> ynuser this doesnt include me.... right?

fbsfuser boy if you don't take this down...

logansargeant oscar is this meant to be retribution for her story earlier?

-> oscarpiastri so what?

-> landonorris that's kinda overdramatic compared to what she posted wow

ynuser i would also like to say that this stanky man tried to go out for dinner right after his race 🤢

-> georgerussell scandalous 😨

-> carlossainz55 not very smooth of you oscar

-> alexalbon not smooth.

-> danielricciardo not smooth.

-> charlesleclerc not smooth.

-> maxverstappen1 not smooth.

-> fbsfuser i think, and hear me out, maybe you're in the wrong here oscar

-> ynuser and this is why we were both wearing masks on track

-> oscarpiastri too far. you've gone TOO far.

Instagram: 10/03-21/03

ynuser posted a story 10s

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, landonorris, georgerussell, and others

Replies

yukitsunoday0511: i will get you back one day.

-> ynuser: ngaww 😹

oscarpiastri: u are tho

-> ynuser: ik

->oscarpiastri: wait. are you?

danielricciardo: mind giving me an extra mic so i can do this when youre not with us?

-> ynuser check ur driver's room ;)

landonorris: how did he know 😨

-> ynuser: we been knew lan

oscarpiastri posted a story 7s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

ynuser: there's no way you pulled out a photo from when we were 13.

-> oscarpiastri: full on war. what are you gonna do about it?

-> ynuser: watch me

landonorris: u have to give this pic to me.

-> oscarpiastri: LMAO ty for joining my side

-> landonorris: no no, don't be mistaken. im against both of you.

-> oscarpiastri: mate what?

carlossainz55: u guys should just kiss already

-> oscarpiastri: carlos NO

mclaren: you're really trying to blackmail a journalist who has resources at her disposal? 😮

-> oscarpiastri: ...yes...

ynuser posted a story 3s

Liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, alexalbon, and others

Replies

alexalbon: congrats on winning soldier

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: HOW DO U HAVE THESE PHOTOS ALREADY

-> ynuser: i like how u still underestimate my job then suffer because of it :)

pierregasly: these go hard 🔥

landonorris: well at least it's not as embarrassing for me. but a HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN NICE

-> ynuser: bro dont even try ik you've been saving bad pics of me from oscar -.-

mclaren: we hope u enjoyed the pics!

-> ynuser: i owe u guys one fr 🙏🏼

Round 3 (22/03-24/03): Australia

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser round 3 in australia!!!! 🇦🇺🦘❤️ amazing to be back on home base, and even better to see danny ric and pastry fight it out for the podium! (actual, professional, and correct news coming from me on @f1 tv 🫡)

ossie ossie ossie! oi oi oi! get it? 'cause ossie is like aussie and... okay. i'll stop.

Liked by mclaren, fbsfuser, danielricciardo, and 611,805 others

View all 21,008 comments

mclaren ty for providing us with baby pastry pics 🫡

-> ynuser pleasure doing business with u 🫡🫡

-> oscarpiastri excuse ME

oscarpiastri haha. so funny. at least u have stand up comedy since journalism may not work out :)

-> ynuser so you admit im funny 😸

-> oscarpiastri don't flatter urself.

-> landonorris nah mate, that sounded like defeat

f1 this commentary is fine 👍🏻

-> user LMAOOOO

user danny ric placing in his home base is such a dream come true 😭

-> user yeah im glad it isnt just a dream anymore

user cutiessssss

-> user them driving around the circuit in a golf cart must've been chaotic

-> logansargeant u have no idea...

user she's hilarious ilysm

-> fbsfuser back off fam she's mine ✋🏼

-> user i need to know how she got this job cause it is THE dream fr

-> fbsfuser yeah it really is a wonder given how many lectures she slept thru...

-> ynuser OI

danielricciardo 🫶🏻

-> user CONGRATS HONEY BADGER!!!

user can oscar fight???

-> user girl what are u talking about they aint tgt

-> user they aren't???

-> user no bruh theyre just besties

user watch me at the next race rizzin her up

Twitter

iMessages

Instagram Messages

landonorris: yn

-> yn

-> yn

-> yn

ynuser: bruh WHAT

landonorris: it's important

ynuser: lando i don't have time to answer whether a new pair of pants make u look flat

-> go ask osc

landonorris: ok first of all: a good pair makes a huge difference.

-> and second, it's about osc

ynuser: did smth happen to him?????

landonorris: no, sorry

-> shouldn't have led with that

-> i sent u a post on twitter

-> but just, read carefully k?

Twitter

Instagram Messages

ynuser: oh

landonorris: u see it?

ynuser: yeah

landonorris: are u okay?

ynuser: yeah im just surprised

landonorris: so you didn't know about it either?

ynuser: obviously not

landnorris: im sorry yn :(

ynuser: why? it's not like he owes me anything lol

-> im happy he started dating again in fact

-> was getting worried lol

landonorris: u sure u good?

-> doesn't really sound like u are

ynuser: im fine

-> plus i need to stay professional. i still have a job and there are crazy fans and all

-> thanks anyways lan

landonorris: alright, im here to talk if u need

-> so is the rest of the grid tbh

❤️ Liked by ynuser

iMessage

Instagram: 03/04

ynuser

Tagged: urmumuser

ynuser a little break back home with the parents doesn't hurt 🌊

@f1's the best for letting me regenerate lost brain cells <3

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 702,009 others

View all 53,197 comments

f1 we got ur back queen ✊🏼

-> user in the middle of all the drama, this could mean so many things...

-> user well im gonna take it as them sayin that theyre on the right ship :)

user ngl guys the distance rn is probably 'cause yn and osc so close, especially with osc dating brianna, like she probably did it out of respect for them. no one wants to be 'the girl he told me not to worry about' yk.

-> user allegedly dating*

-> user allegedly dating*

user omg the parallelism to brianna with the surfboards 😭

-> user we've truly reached peak delulu i love it

landonorris enjoy ur break from a grid of shitheads 💪🏼

-> carlossainz55 speak for urself

wbuxtonofficial how am i going to handle them without you 0.0

-> ynuser well, not to state the obvious, but drivers are just... humans.

-> georgerussell hilarious

racerbia gorgeous girl 🧡

fbsfuser take me with u 😔

Round 4 (05/04-07/04): Japan

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris, vindiesel, and mrodofficial

mclaren A little surprise for our papaya boys as they come back from their Friday practices! 🤫 Here's to hoping we go fast and furious in the land of sakura 🌸

Liked by f1, ynuser, racerbia, and 851,092 others

View all 60,004 comments

user the lack of yn's interactions with the whole grid is actually making me glitch throughout this weekend. and it's only friday 💀💀

user omggggg van diesel and michelle rod!!!!!!

user they really be spoiling osc lolll

user it's so weird to see an interview without yn

iMessages

Instagram

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri

mclaren H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y @oscarpiastri!

Our baby driver is 23 today, here in Japan! Drive well, birthday boy! 😎🌸

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 905,874 others

View all 35,621 comments

user happy birthday ossie!!!

landonorris: our baby is growing up so fast

-> f1 we must shrink him.

user wow she must be pissed if she took her first annual leave during this totally coincidental time

-> user fr sis is fooling no one.

-> user this feels like such a bad omen omg 😭

-> user guys maybe our bestie yn just really needed a break... haha...

briannawood_ happy birthday osc ❤️

-> user oh my god

-> user she actually exists

-> user girl what are you doing here

-> user ayo???

alexalbon happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

lilyhme HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSC

fbsfuer hbd

-> user oh-

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser to the one who vexes me, encourages me, n supports me sm, happy 23rd birthday. i've known you since your rebellious days, trying to prove to the rest of the world how your dream was worth fulfilling, and i'm grateful to have been with you to this very stage of your life. from re-watching cars and fast n furious for over a decade, to re-watching ur races and my interviews, know that i'll always be there, on or off track, no matter what. to the bane of my existence, from ur twin devil x

Liked by others

View all comments

user oh im gonna be sick is she the one who told f1 to invite vin diesel and michelle rod 😭💔

-> user u are spitting facts but in this case facts should not be facting because this is actually making me hyperventilate by all the drama rn

user no im sorry but why does this sound more like a goodbye than a hbd note

user yn trying to prove that she's actually a great write when she wants to be

-> user and SHE IS 😭😭😭

user the way she doesn't sound like herself AT ALL wtf is going on

user this sounds like a very strange way of resigning 💀

-> user YOU TAKE BACK WHAT U SAID RN

Comments on this post have been limited.

Twitter

Round 5 (19/04-21/04): China

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser im back 😈 lovely weather here in china as we start round 5's quali day!! let's get back to it 💪🏼

Liked by others

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f1 she's back!

user oh my god i thought we were never gonna see her ever again

lewishamilton missed our fav presenter

-> georgerussell frfr!!

-> mclaren actually ☝🏼 she was and will always be OUR fav

fsfbuser welcome back gorgeous <3

user well... the good news is that she sounds normal again

-> user nah bruh im right here in the paddock and she looks nervous/twitchy af

user the besties obvie haven't made up yet 😪

-> user or maybe they never will...

oscarpiastri come on back over to our pit, you left before i finished changing ?

-> user oH WTF

-> user this shit is actually going to be the death of me

-> landonorris i thought we agreed that i'd call her? 🤨

-> charlesleclerc hush for a little while she's over at ours rn

-> user this is too funny

-> user is this a pr trick or some shit 'cause IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE

Twitter

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri you are never escaping me ever again.

(forgive my impulsive actions tonight everyone, i swear im only ever like this around her)

Liked by landonorris, fbsfuser, ynuser, and 1,397,819 others

View all comments

francisca.cgomes SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. FINALLY.

-> lilymhe I KNOW RIGHT

-> pierregasly oscar can be so oblivious sometimes...

-> fbsfuser boy he was blind, deaf, and dumb for as long as i've known them. like pick a struggle??

-> landonorris i second this

logansargeant kinda giving serial killer vibes but u two are cute enough to forgive that

-> ynuser 🤪

-> maxverstappen1 i can finally go back to the garage in peace without u following me to talk my ear off

-> oscarpiastri u knew this whole time??

user i am going insane.

-> user maybe i hit the blunt too good this time...

-> user @landonorris and @fbsfuser u guys are the gods of all wingmen.

user oh thank god he wasn't actually dating brianna

-> user our queen and king can come back stronger and better now 😩

user your honour, nvm, my parents just got back tgt :D

ynuser 10 years, both of us having a nasty high school relationship each, and a rumour bomb that exploded from underneath me... i think i have every right to try and escape again.

-> oscarpiastri this was not funny when u first said it, and it will never be.

-> logansargeant ok but it kind of is

user my fav writer inspo is now my fav driver's wag MY HEART

landonorris thank god i dont need to listen to the both of you whining anymore

-> ynuser who said we're stopping 🤨

-> oscarpiastri you can't escape me either lando.

-> landonorris this is foul @mclaren i suggest you give me a raise for keeping ur other driver in check

-> f1 haha no.

mclaren thank god we don't have to whisper every time we see something suspicious now

-> redbullracing im ngl, same.

-> astonmartinf1 we once had to watch while they bantered with each other for 10 minutes 🧍🏻‍♀️

-> scuderiaferrari not that it's a competition, but they were always close to pecking each other whenever they were here

-> alexalbon wait why were they even in any of these garages??

-> mclaren ask oscar why he keeps following her...

user that interview was INSANE

-> user i don't think i've ever seen such a surreal confession oml

Twitter

a/n: lowkey cringey hehe. this was supposed to involve a wedding (for a mclaren engineer not oscyn loll) where they'd all be dressed up (you know... DRESS) but i reached the pics limit 💀 honestly i would've written this out as a one shot or smth but once i start i will never stop... and i have my ibdp math final 😭

[1dhq]

it’s been a hot minute since 1d were active as a group so i feel like this could be an interesting poll!

feel free to be more specific in the tags!

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time

[die-tenebris]

people may vote before seeing this but I want you to only answer with what you use in every day life irl face to face. (an: if you don't use any kind of plural you irl then get outta here!!! /j I can't stop you but I'll appreciate if you cooperate)

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 14: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should relax by spending his afternoon shopping ..

~

He trots down the mossy cobblestone walkway, gazing around in awe as he approaches the central hub of the small city. Tiny shops and stalls and carts are woven through the few clusters of taller buildings, with a modest crowd bustling back and forth between them. Despite much of the land being cleared for structures and pathways, it's still lush with greenery wherever it can be, every blank stone wall or street corner dotted with trailing vines and flowering fruit trees.

After spending a good 25 minutes trying to orient himself at the city map directory, he finally finds his way onto one of the primary shopping streets, eager to spend the afternoon lazily strolling about, trying to ignore his physical aches and just take in all the sights as he hunts for interesting items....

...A few hours (and multiple snack breaks) later, the streets begin to glow with a hazy warmth as lanterns are lit, marking the nearing sunset. Possibly because of the fight yesterday, he's felt shakier, more easily startled than usual, and suddenly realizes an urgent need to be safely inside his room at the inn before nightfall. He wanted to stay out longer, see the lights and the crowds, fascinating scenes of city nightlife he's never been exposed to before.. but, his nerves are impossible to ignore.

Begrudgingly preparing to slink off towards the inn in a sweaty anxious panic, he stops in the doorway, resolving to at LEAST buy himself ONE nice item before he leaves. He doesn't have much money, sure, but it'd be a shame to simply look around all day and not get anything. All travelers need to collect their souvenirs, right? But.. What should he get?

-

-

Additional Information (feel free to skip this part, it's just extra context for people who are interested lol)

just for record (in case it influences what people think he should buy), this is the adventurer's current inventory contents:

small journal + pencil to document his travels (and a few colored pencils for sketching plants or doodling)

a basic travel guide booklet

a simple map of the area

a small glass lantern case you can put candles in

fire starting materials

basic matches

first aid kid (a few bandages, simple antibacterial balm, some dried herbs that can be used for minor issues like stomach aches or nausea)

one metal cup, one metal bowl/plate thing, one metal fork/spoon, a cooking knife, and one metal pot for cooking over the fire

a basic toiletry bag (toothbrush, herbal mixture toothpaste type thing, bar of soap, one towel, a rag, a few disposable paper napkins, moisturizing oil, hair brush, a tiny cracked mirror)

three bottles of various spice mixes for flavoring the plain/bland food he usually forages on the road (+ plain salt)

a glass jar of berries

a container of plain dried oats

a container of dried beans

half a loaf of stale bread

one carrot he found

a bag of dried fruit

about 15 coins (maybe equivalent to $45 USD in our world money lol)

a basic fishing kit (simple lures, hooks, string)

two containers of canned fish just as a back up in case he ever can't find fresher food for the cat

a cheesy fairytale romance novel about people going on a grand heroic journey, to help give him inspiration to continue on his own travels and be the ultimate Super Cool Adventurer Hero

an old folded up letter from his family

a fabric pouch of cool shiny rocks + other trinkets he's collected

one change of underwear, one change of socks, + winter gloves

foldable saw

some twine/string

a basic sewing kit (2 needles, one spool of thread, a thimble)

lawyer's business card (from boat party)

lawyer's fancy expensive giant scarf (also from party)

1 lunchbox of vegetable dumplings (from Innkeeper)

2 canteens of water

a small dagger for cutting rope, vines, multipurpose anything

a little tin of mint & rose flavored candies for when his mouth gets dry

a box of cubed dried chicken as cat treats

a box of fancy tea

one large rope

a roll of fabrics (one thick blanket for padding when sleeping on the ground, some basic tent fabric to make shelter from, a few spare fabric scraps, 2 cloth napkin/towel things, two cloth sacks for extra carrying capacity if needed)

1 pouch of dried meat

5 candles

Innkeeper's hand-drawn map to her brother's hideout

and of course, the Mysterious Egg in a little wooden box

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

[mysteriousbeetle]

why are people tagging cassandra cain or just any of the characters in general for their batfam posts when they aren't even mentioning them specifically. like just tag the post batfam or something...

[uglylittleman]

Really tempted to make a Mystery Room simp bracket, as oddly specific as that is. Every woman from that game is simp-worthy and I want to appreciate them. Not sure if it’s worth it though especially if Lucy/Diane sweep

[froggibus]

hello hello! froggi i have something rotting my brain and i would love to hear your thoughts on it, but by no means is this something you have to answer!

how do you think gojo satoru and nanami kento (and anyone else you'd like to include!) would feel about having someone pack lunches for them? like real, thought out, balanced lunches in nice containers and thermoses with little drinks and maybe notes

i can already see the confused first years, yuji and nobara gossiping about whether they're dating someone and megumi being weirded out gojo isnt just buying something like the rich boy he is

Sack Lunch - Satoru Gojo, Nanami Kento & Suguru Geto

Pairing(s): Satoru Gojo x gn! reader, Nanami Kento x gn! reader, Suguru Geto x gn! reader

Genre: fluff!

Word Count: 667 (Gojo's), 685 (Nanami's), 680 (Suguru's)

Summary: a day in your s/o's life when you pack a lunch for him

CW: established relationships!, jokes about dying/being widowed (Gojo's--though they are not necessarily married), lots of cutesy stuff, Gojo acts like a child

anon you are the first person ever to call me froggi (and i kinda love it omg)!! i have not answered a request/ask in a hot minute, but this one was too cute to pass up! not sure if you wanted headcanons for this or not, but i got really carried away :') hope this is what you wanted! also i really feel strongly about Gojo having a 90s lunchbox collection that he is very proud of! - also!! the Valentine's Poll is open if you guys have any ideas of what you want for our Valentine's event this year!! you can vote here - also thank you @l0serloki for helping me with writing nanami!!

Satoru Gojo:

“Satoru!” You shake your head at the man as he slinks past the kitchen.

He pops his head in, white hair falling over his eyes. “Yes?”

“Don’t forget your lunch.”

“You made me lunch?” He coos, surging forward to pinch your cheek, “you’re so cute.”

You roll your eyes. “No one should spend as much money on food as you do.” You chastise. “And I want to make sure you don’t only eat sweets today. I can’t have you dying on me at 30.”

“Pft, I’m gonna live forever!”

You shove the metallic Sailor Moon lunchbox into his hands. “Keep eating what I make you and you just might.”

“Aw, baby,” he practically sings, “look at you, trying to take care of me.”

He playfully ruffles your hair, but upon seeing your scowl, drags his hand down to your waist. He leans in and presses a sloppy, needy kiss to your lips. You stand on your toes just to kiss him back, rubbing your hands up and down his back.

He pulls away blushing, lunchbox in hand. “I’ll see you later! Love you lots!”

You wave to him as he heads out the door, “love you too!”

Even when he gets out to his car, the grin on his face doesn’t fade. He might have teased you a little, but only because he was so honoured that you even thought to pack him a lunch. The cute Sailor Moon lunch box that totally isn’t his is only the icing on the cake.

—

Nobara and Yuji stare at Gojo in disbelief. The man has his feet propped up on his desk, whistling a song as he peels a mandarin. A mandarin. The sight of their teacher eating an actual, real fruit is jarring. 

Yuji elbows Nobara gently, “has Gojo-sensei finally lost it?”

“He must have, have you ever seen him eat real food before?”

Gojo rolls his eyes behind his blindfold, popping a slice of the orange into his mouth. He listens to his first years gossip about him as he makes his way through the lunch you packed. You really outdid yourself with this one, he has to admit.

It’s all of the foods he likes, cutely displayed in pink containers that match the glittery exterior of the lunch box. You even packed him strawberry mochi, homemade and neatly bundled. There’s a note in there, too.

Please eat all your fruits and veggies, I don’t want to be a widow. 

Lots of love!

Y/n

Gojo stifles his laughter at your note, but he can’t stop the flush that creeps up to his blindfold. Not only did you pack him a lunch, you wrote him a note. He can’t wait to come home to you and tell you how much he loves you.

It’s when Gojo gets up to use the bathroom that Yuji makes a mad dash to peek in his lunch box. “Sailor Moon?!”

Nobara leaps to her feet, joining Itadori at the desk. “There’s a note, look.”

Fushiguro sits at his desk, softly chewing on the sandwich that you also made for him this morning. He shakes his head at his nosy peers, wondering why they care so much about their ridiculous teacher’s life.

“From y/n?!” They cry out in unison.

“Did he steal this from someone?!” Nobara exclaims.

“Did he do something to y/n’s boyfriend?!”

The pair share their conspiracies on just how Gojo ended up with a homemade lunch and a handwritten note from you, oblivious to the way Megumi snickers at them in the back. 

Finally, he can’t take it anymore. “They’re together.”

Their eyes practically pop out. “They are?!”

“Yep,” Gojo leans against the door to the classroom, smirking at his students.

“And it’s…like that?” Yuji asks quietly.

“It’s like that.” Gojo raises his eyebrows for emphasis.

All three First Years cringe, groans filling the room. Gojo smiles proudly though, already figuring out how he’s going to tell this story to you when he comes home to you.

-

Kento Nanami:

Nanami’s cheeks tinge pink as he makes his way to the door and sees you standing there. There’s a massive grin on your face and you’re holding a grey lunchbox in one hand and a coffee thermos in the other. Despite this being an everyday occurance, Nanami still isn’t used to it.

“I packed your lunch.”

He leans in and presses a soft kiss to your lips, grabbing the items from your hands. He sets them on the small table just next to the door to free up his hands before immediately wrapping them around your waist. He caresses your sides gently, almost as gently as he kisses you—trying to show all his gratitude and love for you with a single gesture. 

You’re flustered when he pulls away, straightening out your clothes while you find your breath once more. You watch Nanami as he grabs his lunch and coffee from the table and pulls his keys out of his pocket, clicking open the lock on the front door.

“Oh!” You call to him just before he steps out. “There’s some extra snacks in there, just in case Yuji wants them!”

His dark eyes fill with admiration, his face falling into that soft look he saves for those closest to him. “You really are the greatest.”

You giggle, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says. “Have a great day today, dear.”

“I will!” You wave at him from the door as he walks to his car. “Oh! And please don’t forget the cutlery at work again!”

“Will do!” His words are punctuated by the closing of his car door followed by the roar of the engine.

You shut the door but the grin doesn’t fall from your face. These mornings are always a highlight for you.

—

Nanami is exhausted by the time he makes it to his lunch hour. Him and Yuji had been running around all afternoon chasing some low grade curse. The second his watch beeped to indicate lunch time, Nanami was already headed to the crosswalk to head to the park across the street, Itadori in tow.

It’s a beautiful day out, the warm sun heating the wood of the park bench just enough to keep it comfortable. He has his most recent novel open on his lap, his lunchbox on the seat next to him. Yuji sits on the other side of his lunch, happily snacking on the extra things you packed for him.

“Y/n really is the best, Nanamin.” He says through a mouthful of food, “packing you all these snacks and keeping you healthy.”

Nanami offers the boy a half grin, though he’s tempted to remind him of his table manners and how rude it is to talk with food in his mouth. He takes a sip of the coffee in his thermos—still warm from this morning—and relaxes farther into the bench. You always make it just the way he likes it, no sugar and hardly any cream. 

He reaches a hand into his lunchbox to grab the small container of carrot slices when his fingers graze something else. He closes his novel and leans over to examine the paper he’s just grabbed.

Hope you’re having a great lunch today, honey. Made with love

To the moon and back,

Y/n

He tries to hide his widening grin and reddening cheeks by pretending to cough into his arm, but only succeeds in drawing more attention to his flustered state. 

“Are you okay?”

Nanami nods, catching his breath from his fake cough. The heat starts to fade from his face. He pulls his head out of his elbow and turns to address the boy, only for his eyes to widen in horror as he realizes the First Year is clutching the note that was just in his hand.

“Woah,” Yuji’s eyes widen. “It’s like that? You really are lucky, Nanamin.”

Nanami breathes a sigh of relief, glad it was Yuji that found the note and not Nobara or Gojo. Had they found it, he would never hear the end of it.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I am lucky.”

-

Suguru Geto:

Suguru is shocked when he sees you waiting for him by the door with a small, black bag in your hand. He tilts his head at you when your eyes meet his, as if asking you what you’re doing.

“I threw together a couple of things,” you explain. “For lunch.”

He’s never been cared for like this, never had anyone to pack him a lunch. A million thoughts cross his mind. Thank you, you’re the best, how’d I get so lucky? Of course, none of that comes out.

Instead, he utters a simple, “...why?”

He cringes at the sound of his own voice, bracing himself for you to be disappointed. Luckily, you don’t offend easily and your smile never wavers.

“Well, you were complaining about Satoru only ever wanting to go to sweet shops—and that you were sick of eating lunch alone, so…”

You look down to his hands, suddenly too embarrassed to face him. It felt like a great idea at the moment, but the longer Geto looks at you, the dorkier the idea feels.

Geto closes the gap between you, grabbing your hand from under the lunch box handle. “Thank you,” he mumbles against your lips, tugging you closer so he can taste you better.

Relief floods through you at his words of gratitude. You lean into the kiss, relishing in the way he feels against you.

“I really do love you, you know?” He says softly when he pulls away, the bag now hanging from his hand.

“I know.”

He looks at you expectantly, giving you the same look he does when you’re acting like a dork or giving him attitude.

“I love you too, Suguru. Now get going! I don’t want you to be late.”

He offers you a small wave before he heads out the door, wondering exactly how he’ll return the favor when he gets home.

—

Satoru stares at Suguru from across the table in the teachers lounge. Even with the blindfold on, Geto can tell the man is eyeing the food he has spread out in front of him.

Gojo raises a finger, about to open his mouth.

“Not a word, Satoru.”

His best friend chuckles, dropping his hands in surrender, and goes back to eating his pastries out of a cute pink box. Geto goes back to his own lunch. Though you claimed you just ‘threw together a few things’, he knows that’s far from the truth.

It must have taken you an hour to prepare it all, at minimum. Not only did you make his favorite meal, but you also packed him steamed, honey coated carrots, a slice of homemade banana bread, and a small thermos of his favorite roasted rice tea.

He pops open the lid of the thermos to smell it, the familiar toasty aroma filling his senses. It smells like home—like the nights where he can’t sleep and you bring him a cup of it mixed with sweet honey.

“What’s this?” Satoru snatches the lid from the desk, flipping it upside down and letting a small piece of stationary fall out.

Suguru groans, reaching desperately across the desk for the lid, only for Satoru’s jaw to fall open. He lets the paper float back down to the desk.

“What?” He demands.

Gojo offers him a teasing grin. “Y/n and Suguru, sitting in a tree….”

Geto scowls and grabs the note before Gojo can pick it up and tease him more. Any annoyance he was feeling at the fellow special grade fades away when he sees your handwriting scrawled across the paper.

Hope Satoru doesn’t give you too much trouble today. I love you so much, can’t wait to hear about your day when you get back

All the stars in the sky,

Y/n

Satoru must not see the way Suguru’s cheeks redden at the sight of the note—or if he does, he doesn’t say anything about it. Though he teases, he couldn’t be any happier for his friend as he watches him read the words on the note over and over, a growing smile on his face.

-

masterlist | jjk masterlist

[pigeonpeach]

Mother and Father

A/n: Its genuinely wild to me how i went from like only porn bots following me to like actually 291 followers! It almost doesn’t feel real but I’m so grateful for you all! I held a poll earlier to determine who’d id write for as celebration for the milestone and arlecchino won! So here it is!

Prompt: how I met your mother

Arlecchino x fem reader

Your job wasn’t too easy, but it also wasn’t too hard. You loved kids. You found their antics amusing, you found it hard to suppress a smile when they looked so cute. With Arlecchino’s most recent addition: Lyney and Lynette however is when you truly came out of your shell.

The children watched as you sewed together their favorite teddy bear. A disagreement earlier led to the bear torn right down the middle.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…” one child cowered.

“You know better now, you guys have to be careful with these. We don’t get toys too often now.” You gently scolded. The other children seemed a bit surprised. Including the guilty ones.

“So… you aren’t mad?”

“Not that much. You’re kids, its natural that you may wreck your belongings. You must learn to be more careful and how to repair them. But you are too young Talia, I’ll teach you how to sew when you get a bit older. Then you can repair your own toys.” You pat her on the head.

“I’m sorry.. I’ll do better next time.” Talia looked down as you raised her face to meet yours.

“I’m not mad Talia, i just want you to be more careful next time that’s all. Okay?” You changed your tone to be more sweet. Talia teared up a bit. You out the bear aside as you used your hands to wipe her tears, you placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Okay… can I help in some way?” She asked.

“Yes. I want you to gather all the stuffing Mr Bear lost so i can put it back in him. Okay?” You said. She nodded as she set off to retrieve it.

It didn’t take too long for the kids to like you. You were sweet and soft spoken. Your hold was gentle and loving, and they’d come to love your kisses. Especially Lyney.

“Lyney you know you should be asleep, your father won’t like it if you wake up too early.” You gently chided. He stubbornly attached himself to your thigh even more so. “Lyney you know I can’t just stand around all day. I have to make breakfast.” You couldn’t even kneel down.

“No..no… where my lynette… wheres my sister?” He cried. You brushed his hair lovingly.

“Your sister is in the girl’s barracks now. I’m sorry it must be hard to get used to that.” You knelt down carefully as he nuzzled his face against you.

“Can.. I see her? Please?” He looked at you so sweetly how could you resist. You picked him up, resting him against your chest as you headed over to where Lynette would be.

“Just be quiet now. We don’t want to wake anyone up.” You said.

“Why are you up then? Father won’t let us out until 6am.”

“Because I’m her employee, you, are her child. My job is to prepare you all breakfast. And my only help is sick today.” You sighed. Lyney seemed to think for a bit.

“Maybe i could help you?” He said. You thought about it. It would be better than nothing.

“Alright then. Just be sure to not let Father catch you out so late.” You smiled. Opening the door to the girl’s barracks, you noticed Lynette stood up from her bed. Quietly she crawled off her bed and trotted over to you, her little tail swaying in a excited manner. You felt your heart melt seeing how happy she looked to see her brother. This was their first night apart. You gently let Lyney down as he immediately hugged her.

“Brother, did you sleep?” She asked innocently.

“Not well. I kept having nightmares.” He said. She seemed to understand. “Lynette, we must help today.” Lyney leaned into Lynette’s ear “She said she has to prepare breakfast alone.” He said. Lynette seemed to agree.

“Well you don’t have to. You two could just go back to sleep.” You said. They shook their head.

“No no.. we must help.” Lynette said. You sighed. You couldn’t say no to them. They were just cute and determined, Lynette in particular was such a cutie with the bowtie on her tail. You struggled to maintain your composure as your instincts screamed at you to just pepper kisses on her cute little face and hug her tightly. But you held back.

“Alright just be quiet.” You said. The three of you now set off to the kitchen. You realized quickly that it’d be difficult for them to help given how short they are.

Nonetheless the twins were persistent. They cracked the eggs with caution. Lyney eagerly scrambling them as you prepared the wok for it. Its not easy cooking for so many children. But you’ve gotten used to it. A lot of what they eat is prepared by rations sent by various companies partnered with the Fatui. But the children always preferred fresh scrambled eggs than the ones in the rations, you noticed that when you do so they’re far happier and more well behaved. The only problem is how much that requires.

“We’ve finished the first batch.” Lynette held out the bowl of liquid eggs with pride as you smiled. There was thankfully no shells you could spot. But you trusted she would notice. Lynette was the most observant.

“Hmmm.. yes this is satisfactory indeed. Get to start on the next one and we should be finished.” You said.

The children were delighted to have fresh eggs ready for them. Even if they weren’t actually fresh but just warm. You helped portion out each child’s plate which took almost forever. But hearing their happy little ‘thank you’s helped you feel better. The room was filled with chatter and laughter.

“I worry you spoil them too much.”

You jolted as you looked behind you. “A-arlecchino!” You were a bit surprised. “Its just that… they’ve been working so hard lately I wanted to reward them with something small.” You explained, trembling. The children fell silent as they watched with anticipation for her reaction. But Arlecchino didn’t seem upset, nor angry or sinister. She was always hard to read however.

“I see. Children.” She sai, every child looked at her with alertness. “Since your caretaker has gone out of your way to provide you a must delicious meal, I expect no slacking off today’s training yes?” She said with authority.

“Yes father!” The children said in unison.

“You may continue eating.”she then turned to you. “Did.. you buy these eggs yourself?” You nodded. “Your own money correct?” You nodded. She looked over you, her gaze feeling almost… warm? You weren’t too certain. “Don’t work yourself too much next time. If you want to arrange such rewards I’d be happy to help. As long as its within reason of course.” She said with a surprising softness. You gulped.

“Th-thank you. W-would you like some?” You smiled nervously. Little did you know in that moment was the start of her ever growing feelings for you. But she merely shook her head.

“I’ll have whats leftover. I have my own chef so I wouldn’t like to deprive the children of their food.” She said. “Keep up the good work. I’ll be looking forward to it.” She said walking away. You looked on in awe, you knew she was scary yes, but something about her didn’t seem nearly as menacing. You weren’t sure but.. it appears you made a good impression on her. The children looked at you, concerned until you smiled at them.

“And you ordered… 67 bags of flour for the orphans? Yeah right don’t they have rations.” The rude guard said. The seller seemed a bit upset at the guard too.

“I’ve already told you that I work for the house of hearth as a caretaker. What crime could i be committing with this much flour anyways? I paid for it, every cent is paid. What is your deal!” You were annoyed at this rate. The guard seemed to not back down.

“Well how do I know if you have some secret? Huh?”

“LEAVE HER ALONE!” A voice came from the crowd that formed. You recognized it as one of the children you cared for, a teenage boy named Andrej. “You are a officer are you not? Do you not know it is illegal to falsely accuse someone without a trial to prove one’s guilt first? You shameful man! You dare to use your power for what exactly?” You were a bit surprised at his actions. He’d always been so quiet when you handled him, you didn’t know he’d value you so much.

“Why you-“

“He’s right though. What exactly are you doing officer! Picking on innocent civilians!” Another joined in. You recognized them as Danica. The officer quickly seemed surprised.

“Well i-“

“Zip it! Just wait until the Knave finds out the guards have been unjustly harassing her employees.”

“Please calm down you two. There’s no need to get that worked up here.” You said, placing a hand on their shoulders. “We’ll just file a report and be done with it.” The guard looked shock as they backed off.

“Don’t mess with our mother.” Andrej whispered at him.

“Andrej told me you were harassed today?” Arlecchino asked as you just settled in the flours into the walk in pantry.

“Just a powerhungry guard. I can handle it.”

“It isn’t a matter of wether or not you can handle it. Its a matter of why he felt it was okay to do so in the first place.” She stood infront of you. Looking down. “My children adore you alot, they would do anything for you. But they also shouldn’t have to. Rest assured, that man will be dealt with.”

“I don’t want to cause trouble that’s all. I’m not that fragile.” You said.

“Its no trouble to me. You are very important for the children’s wellbeing and morale. Infact I was wondering if you could do full time. Increased pay, more breaks of course. Don’t worry about the walk home at night. You will have a escort.” She said. You felt quite surprised.

“I’ll take you up on that offer then.” You smiled. She seemed to calm down.

“Very good then. Next time, let them your children protect you, its their way of repaying your generosity.” She left then. But you wondered what she meant by ‘your’ children.

“I don’t want him to touch me no please!” You heard little Lynette cry in her sleep. You had been passing the barracks ready to clock out when your maternal instincts kicked in. You bursted through the door rushing to her bed. You sighed in relief seeing she was okay.

“Lynette?” You called. She moved in her sleep. “Lynette!” You sat by her side until she woke up. Her eyes teary as she backed away. “Its just me sweetie. Don’t worry I’m not going to hurt you.” You offered your hand to her, to your surprise she rubbed her face against it. She wiped her tears as she came closer to you.

“I had a scary dream.. that’s all.” She said.

“I know.. do you want to tell me about it?” You asked. She shook her head. “Alright then, how about I make you some tea?”

“Tea?” She asked. “Isn’t that for staying up? That’s what father drinks.”

“There’s a special one I have, its to relax yourself. Come.” You stood up, she followed suit as the other girls sneakily watched.

You set the kettle on the stove as you showed her the packet.

“This is the special tea, you don’t use this if you want to stay awake. See the packaging is purple. Use it sparingly though. Now we boil the water and when its warm enough we just add it in. You’ll see.” You said, Lynette watched observantly. You could still see she was a little bit shaken up.

“Can I ask you something?” Lynette seemed nervous, though her face was stoic, her hands fidgeted with her bow.

“Of course dear.” You smiled warmly at her. Unbeknownst to you some of the other girls had snuck out to head your conversation. Many unable to sleep as well.

“Father is.. well our father. Because she provides for us and guides us. I once heard that a mother is the one who gives warmth and love to a child.. you fit that definition perfectly to me.. it feels wrong to call you miss or caretaker so much… could I call you mother?” She asked. Your heart soared. You took a minute to steady yourself. “Did i say something wrong?”

“No-no… its just..” you wipe a tear before she could spot it. “I’d love that Lynette. I don’t mind being called mother if that’s what you or anyone else wants to call me.” You said smiling.

“But why are you crying then?” Another voice asked. A little girl hiding in the shadows with a few others.

“How ling have you been there.” You said confused.

“We couldn’t sleep.. we just wanted some tea too.” The other girl said.

“Very well. Don’t make this too much of a habit though. We don’t have enough teabags for everyone to have tea time.” You said.

As Arlecchino walked the halls intending to just head to her sleeping quarters, the echo of laughter came from downstairs. Skeptical she immediately descended the stairs, pausing to watch as you sat with 5 little girls in a circle drinking tea.

“See you hold out your pinky like this, then you take a few sips at a time.” You whispered. The girls followed suit. Arlecchino leaned against the wall as she felt a sense of pride in her cold heart. Something about you was warm, warmer than her vision, warmer than the sun, and gentler than any cotton. Something about you made her forget the curfew as she focused on how domestic of a scene it was. In that moment you weren’t her caretaker or her employee, but the mother to her children.

“Like this?” A older girl showed her cup. They were empty currently as you waited for the water to cool. The cup slanted, if it was full it would’ve scorched her lap. But you had been clever not to allow so.

“You still use your other fingers Tanya. Oh see, Lynette had got it.” You smiled. The other girls followed suit.

“What do adults use teatime for? It seems so long..”

“Well typically you do so to relax and unwind if you’re alone, or to talk with other adults in a more causal but still refined setting.” You explained.

“What do they talk about then?” Lynette asked. Arlecchino noticed how her tail would curve slightly as she and the rest of the children sat at one of the dinning tables.

“Buisness, personal life… boring stuff. But sometimes its gossip.” You smile. The girls seem intrigued.

“What kind?”

“Well.. I heard that allegedly, miss Trudane, a very upperlady, may have altered her unwed brother’s will to make herself the sole beneficiary to his estate.” You smile. The girls light up in shock and intrigue.

“Really? Wait is that true?”

“Sh! Mother said to be quiet remember.”

Arlecchino felt herself soften at that. The children we’re referring to her as mother.. if she was their father and they their mother then.. her heart blossomed as she clutched her chest composing herself. She strode in catching the group by surprise.

“Father.” The girls lowered their heads.

“I’m actually rather curious, how do you know that?” Arlecchino asked looking at you.

“O-oh well it is just gossip. I heard it through the grapevine that’s all.” You said nervously.

“Do you by chance have another cup available? I’d like some tea myself if you wouldn’t mind.” She said. The children seemed surprised and almost excited as you quickly agreed. Getting up to get another cup while she sat next to where you did. Lynette looking up at her with curiosity.

“Y-you’re not mad?”

“No. I myself couldn’t sleep actually. So I’ll let this slide, don’t let this become a habit.” She said.

After sending the children to bed you and Arlecchino were left. You kissed each girl on the forehead while she watched from the doorway. Sense of comfort placated her as she thought of you. How she wished she had a figure like you when she was younger. How you now provide a loving mother figure for her children that she has thought of being. You both exit closing the door.

“Its late, If you want I could escort you myself, or you could stay the night.” She offered.

“S-stay?”

“I have a guest room you can stay in. Its in the upper levels though.” She said. You noticed it began to rain outside.

“I suppose I’d have to… by the way.. did you hear the conversation where they asked to call me.. mother?” You asked.

“I didn’t but I see no problems with it. The children have been robbed of any normal family life, abandoned by their societies with no love in sight, how could I ever deny them a mother when they have you. You work so hard to make sure each one is loved and cared for.. I have a great deal of respect for you.” Your heart raced seeing her smile, a gentle and genuine warmth from her.

“Thank you. That- that means alot to me.” Your cheeks dusted with pink as you smiled.

You truly became irreplaceable in the eyes of your children. They all clamored to protect you at any given moment. You noticed while cleaning up some drawings what looked to be picture of you and Arlecchino, side by side like husband and and wife. In the style that many family portraits are often drawn. You felt a little warm thinking about it. Arlecchino is a terrifying woman yes but… she is so kind to you. She is so soft and gentle with you, she protects you, you feel very safe in her presence nowadays. And the children, they’ve become more happy with you around. They call you mother and her father, a bond that is almost romantic to you. Its almost a bit embarrassing to you because you two aren’t romantically involved. Yet it seems now the children expect it.. Today would be mother’s day, and you anticipated having alot of gifts.

You actually underestimated how many you would receive. A plethora of drawings you planned on putting in a scrapbook, a surprising amount of jewelry that the children would combine their savings to afford, and even a little origami crane from some of the creative children. Freminet’s gift was quite noteworthy to you as he gave you the most pretty clam you had seem. Lyney and Lynette had gifted you a most beautiful earring set along with heartfelt letters that had you in tears. The excitement died down however as the children were sent for today’s training session. You watched from afar as the kids participated in physical activities. To your surprise Arlecchino came over to you once more, in her hands she held a most delicate box. You were a bit confused.

“Its only appropriate I award the mother of my children handsomely. It is mother’s day afterall, so take this as a token of my gratitude.” She said. You carefully took it. The children from afar noticed you two as some watched expectantly.

“Are they going to kiss?” Talia whispered.

“Shh!”

Your jaw dropped seeing the most intricate necklace. It fit your style nicely as she smiled at you with the most soft of looks you had seen in anyone. Your heart beat fast as you noticed the slight red in her cheeks.

“Thank you so much.. I- i truly cannot thank you enough..” you smiled gratefully at her. In that moment there was a sense of love you felt, her hands gently taking the necklace from its box.

“Here let me put it on you.” She said. Her fingertips brushing against your skin as you realized she wasn’t wearing gloves. Oh how your heart raced as you looked in the mirror she offered.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” You said instinctively hugging her. Her hands in turn wrapped around your body.

“They’re hugging! Oh my gosh!”

“Talia be quiet father will hear you!”

Arlecchino’s gifts didn’t stop at mother’s day however. You frequently received flowers from her that you often used to decorate the house of hearth’s barracks or play areas, mainly because you ran out of space in your own home. Besides, you had been spending so much time here now that your house felt more like a hotel than a home at times. You were reading a book silently as the children gathered around reading in silence.

“Mother..” Lyney shamefully approached you as lynettr and freminet had their heads down. “Could I.. confess something to you?” You felt skeptical. What could he have done to warrant such shame? They weren’t troublemakers by any means, if he broke something then he wouldn’t be this upset…

“Go on.” You placed a book mark as you listened to him carefully. He leaned into your ear to whisper: “Lynette and I snuck in a stray cat we found.. and we have fed it for awhile now keeping it in the barracks.. but it must’ve gotten out because we can’t find it anywhere. Have you heard anything?”

“I know it was wrong but.. I couldn’t bare to see such a creature be homeless.” Freminet mumbled. You smiled.

“Oh dear you should’ve told me! I could’ve taken in the kitty myself and bring him with me here! But I’m sure your father wouldn’t mind having a cat here.” You patted his head. “I’ll help you look for him, you keep looking down here, I’ll go check out the upstairs.” You had a feeling the cat might’ve gone there.

Recently you had been allowed up there more and more so you simply bypassed the guards. You realized however you wouldn’t be allowed to check the rooms. You asked around finding nothing, you took a deep breath before knocking at Arlecchino’s office.

“Come in.” You opened the door to see the cat in question lounging on her lap. “I assume the children are looking for he correct?” She said, gently petting the cat.

“Yes actually. Could I convince you to let them keep her?” You sat across from her. You could hear the kitty purring in her lap.

“Of course.”

“You see-oh. I didn’t expect you would agree so easily.”

“Well, a cat is a useful companion. I’ve seen how the children try to sneak in strays or have formed close bonds with them and I see no reason to deprive them of those bonds. We can’t take in every stray yes but I have no reason to prevent them from bringing a cat. Dogs are another issue, they cause messes and may be more difficult. But this cat is quite well behaved. In fact, she came in here herself.” Arlecchino “she may be good for mice control too. In the winter months is when mice tend to invade homes more. So her timing is perfect. Besides, she is such a beautiful tabby. Orange females are quite rare.” You relaxed seeing how she seemed quite fond of the kitty.

“That’s a relief, I’ll let Lyney know the cat is safe with you.”

“Actually could you take her with you? I have to leave in a bit and she won’t get up on her own accord.”

“Of course.” You approached her to scoop the kitty up as it meowed in confusion. Arlecchino’s eyes were on your chest that became slightly more exposed as you leaned down. “Thank you again Arlecchino, I’ll make sure that cat doesn’t trouble you.”

“Its no problem at all. So long as she makes you and the children happy.” Arlecchino smiles.

“Mother… why don’t you and father kiss?” That question had you shocked. You looked at the child in question as you tried to figure a way to explain it.

“Yeah mommies and daddies always kiss. That’s what my friend told me..”

“Maybe they kiss in private?”

“We don’t kiss no.. your father and I aren’t in a relationship like that.” You cleared your throat trying to regain composure. The children seemed a bit sad at that.

“Why not?” One kid asked.

“Because we just aren’t. Now go play with that cat.. or something.” You quickly took a step back to compose yourself. Watching the kids interact with each other as you fanned your face trying to calm down. But why did the thought or suggestion of that even make you feel this way? How come you felt so warm in the face? You sighed as you tried to clear your head of it.

Were you in love with her? Your boss? A literal harbinger? You knew people died by her hand.. but.. the way she holds little Lynette’s hand.. the way she her hands may suddenly find themselves on your shoulder slowly becoming more of a familiar sensation, her presence doesn’t actually frighten you as much as it used to. You’re more nervous if anything, that she’ll see through your eyes how you truly feel about her. The kids love you two, calling you mother and her father, she refers to you as the “mother of her children”! How could you not feel so tingly and feathery inside! She’s become so alluring too. You once found her scary and intimidating but now… oh you secretly crave her. She is such a menacing woman.. is it bad that you want her? Your employer?

You sighed as you were taking your break, getting lunch at a simple cafe with a nice coffee to clear your mind. You thought about your children with her, not by blood yes but by heart. They call you mother, they bring you gifts, your birthday is never forgotten anymore. You’ve truly come to see them as your own now. You have to remind yourself at times that you didn’t bare these children. That some heartless people let them sat on the streets without taking them home, you could never imagine so. Especially Lynette and Lyney, a most adorable duo. How could anyone ever hurt such innocent souls?

From what you know, the previous Father was far crueler than her. Freminet told you of how he scolded them for crying or weakness, how he lied about his mother’s death to him.. how Arlecchino had slain him and taken his place, how she had slain the man who tried to hurt Lynette… you felt a bit warm knowing the children had such a fearless protector now. And you too were apart of the family she established… maybe its not the worst thing to be in love with your employer, especially in these circumstances. But for the sake of your job and your work relationship you simply can never act on these feelings. You don’t want to ruin things between you and her..

“You called?” You opened the door to her office. You noted how Arlecchino’s blazer wasn’t on. Revealing her under shirt… her dark hands.. oh… should you really be looking?

“Yes I did, come in. I don’t bite.” She said. You approached her timidly. “I just wanted to reward you for such hard work. You’ve truly helped shape this place into a far more comfortable environment. I almost feel envious that it wasn’t like this when I was growing up.” She smiled at you. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered uncomfortably so.

“That means alot to me. I really just have a soft spot for children.. I adore them greatly and.. it hurt to see them be in such pain.” You said.

“Yes. But I wanted to invite you to dinner sometime.” She said. You froze.

“Dinner?” You said. She nodded.

“Yes, You’ve done so much for me that I feel as though I’m in your debt almost. You’ve gotten even the most disrespectful of children under control and you single handedly made this a home rather than a house for these children. I feel as though as the father I must reward you even more than I have.” She said, relishing in the slight red on your cheeks.

“I-i see.. but the children seem to think of us as… partners… I haven’t really been able to properly explain to them that we aren’t… you know.. dating..” you said.

“I don’t mind that assumption, that is if you’re fine with it.” She replied. You felt even more nervous. “Do you want to go to dinner with me? I’ll have a reservation for the most extravagant of restaurants. I’ll pay for the bill of course.”

Your mind raced, was this a confession?

“I’d love to.. if you’re fine wit-“

“I’m with it. I wouldn’t offer this if I wasn’t.” She assured. You felt such a rush of adrenaline.

“Th-thank you.. I- I.. I look forward to it.”

“If you want you could spent the night here.” Arlecchino offered. “I’ll let you stay in my room. I’m going to be spending most of my time in the office anyways”

“I.. if you’re okay with that then sure..” you said nervously. It was pouring outside as you debated how to get home at this hour. You followed her upstairs as you felt a bit nervous. This was a big step in your relationship afterall. Sleeping in her bed.. it feels so intimate.

“Here.” She opened the door to her bedroom. It was incredibly red, it was very intricate and detailed as you would expect a harbinger to have. The pillows more for decoration than comfort. You looked around as she watched you awe the room. “You can sleep on here whenever you like, as long as you aren’t working of course. But make yourself at home here.”

“I will thank you.” You said. She closed the door, her high heels clicked as she went to her office. You felt so timid. You looked in the closet out of curiosity, noticing there was two. They were both huge but one was empty. You realized she probably got the other for your clothes.. it made sense. You would eventually move in of course but it almost delighted you to know how thoughtful she was. She was already planning ahead.

That night you woke up to the door slamming. You jolted awake to see Arlecchino closed the door quickly as she undressed almost immediately. You felt quite flustered as she seemed to pay you no mind. She didn’t seem in the mood for conversation now so maybe you should keep quiet. You laid back, the moonlight was the only light as you noticed the unmistakable red stain coating the sleeves of her jacket. She then paused, turning to you.

“Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you.” She said in a low voice.

“I- just… um..” I’m a little startled that’s all.” You said.

“You should get used to it. This home I’ve made is still nonetheless a fatui organization.” She said, she didn’t seem like she was in a good mood at all.

“I know… how often do you come home like this?” You ask.

“Ideally not so much. But realistically its not uncommon.” She answered. You nervously bit your lip as silence settled between us. Once cleaned and changed however she sighed. “I’m sorry if I frightened you.” She walked over to press a kiss to your cheek.

“No no you’re right. I should just get used to this.” You said. She seemed pleased with that response.

“I have some things to finish up before bed, best not to wait for me now.” She said before leacinf without another word. You silently wondered if you had known what you were getting into by accepting her offer. But it was too late now. You weren’t going to ditch now. You’ll get through it, this time with her by your side.

[birdsthatsingaftermidnight]

This Evening, in UK Politics - What Even is Happening?!

Suella Braverman, somehow an even more vile person than Priti Patel, has resigned because she sent an email from her personal account and also governments should be held accountable for their mistakes. Agreeing with Suella Braverman makes me feel dirty all over. Still, a stopped clock is right twice a day.

The fracking vote is being framed as a confidence vote.

There is a three-line whip. Any Tory MP not voting in line with the party will be removed from the parliamentary party and have to sit as an Independent MP.

The Chief Whip has resigned maybe.

It is no longer a confidence vote.

The deputy Chief Whips have also resigned?!

Jacob Rees Mogg and Thérèse Coffey are manhandling MPs into the lobby to vote?! There's an account of at least one MP crying as they did so.

Liz Truss was too busy arguing with Wendy Morton, the possibly-former Chief Whip to vote. On a vote with a three-line whip.

No Votes were recorded for 40 Tories, including not just the actual Prime Minister but also Boris Johnson (who has more important things to do than represent his constituents in parliament apparently), Nadine Dorries (no doubt wherever Boris is, hoping he notices her or something), David Davis, Greg Clark, Sir Iain Duncan Smith, Kwasi Kwarteng, Theresa May, Wendy Morton, Alok Sharma, Priti Patel, and Ben Wallace (who's actually in Washington D.C. on government business, so he gets a let). These are all party grandees, former Prime Minsters, former leaders of the party, and Nadine Dorries.

I mean, I'm assuming they're not going to withdraw the whip from the Prime Minister and members of her own cabinet (Alok Sharma in this case since Mr Wallace is abroad), although I'm willing to bet there are several Tories darkly hoping that someone will. That's one way to get rid of her!

Wendy Morton apparently has resigned.

Wouldn't it be amazing if she said, "No, I didn't resign and I've withdrawn the whip from Liz Truss!"

According to various sources and polls, if there was an election tomorrow, come Friday the SNP would be the official opposition, because the Tories would have fewer seats than the Scottish National Party and Labour would, obviously, be in power.

If Liz Truss had become Prime Minister and then done nothing whatsoever she would be doing better than she is now.

Let's have a look at some quotes!

“It’s a shambles and a disgrace. I think it is utterly appalling. I am livid,” veteran Tory MP Charles Walker told the BBC. “I hope all those people that put Liz Truss in Number 10, I hope it was worth it. I hope it was worth it for the ministerial red box, I hope it was worth it to sit around the Cabinet table, because the damage they have done to our party is extraordinary.”

Asked if the government can survive the night, one Tory MP replied: “I hope not.”

Labour MP, the shadow Scottish secretary Ian Murray, tweeted that he had "never seen scenes like it" in the voting lobby. He said he'd seen Business Secretary Jacob Rees-Mogg shouting at his colleagues, whips "screaming at Tories", and "dragging people in".

Alexander Stafford tweeted -  "Lots of rumours flying around tonight. This vote was never about fracking but about Labour trying to destabilise the country, and take control of Parliament." This is my favourite, because he's trying to blame the Opposition for this!

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

ALEX DEWITT (DC COMICS)

1.) The term “fridging” is literally based on Alex and what happened to her. She was killed off violently by a bad guy trying to get at her boyfriend only a couple issues after she was introduced (making it obvious they only brought her in to kill her off for shock value). Her death did very little to the narrative other than hurt her boyfriend Kyle and was done in an exceedingly horrifying and violent way. (Bad guy came to the door with flowers and threatening note, broke in and attacked her, choking her to death, before [off panel] chopping her body up and sticking it in the refrigerator as a “surprise” for her boyfriend. This obviously is really fucked up and she deserves better and should win this actually (a vote for Alex is a vote for all fridging victims [in spirit])

2.) It doesn’t get much worse than being the character whose death originated the “fridging” trope. In Green Lantern Vol. 3 #54, Kyle Rayner comes home to find that Alexandra, his girlfriend, has been killed by the villain Major Force and stuffed into the refrigerator.

Alexandra DeWitt is the character whose misogynistic treatment coined the term where a character, usually female, is killed off purely to make the main character, usually male, feel bad. Even if there are other characters who have been subjected to similar levels of misogyny, Alexandra DeWitt’s treatment has been essentially immortalized.

3.) I know she’s not going to win but shout out to my home girl, literally the trope namer for women shoved in fridges. All anyone ever knows about her is that she was Kyle’s girlfriend and got murdered for his character development, even though she had plenty of potential to be her own character.

AMBER VOLAKIS (HOUSE MD)

1.) Holy shit thank you for reminding me about Amber. Her nickname that almost everyone calls her to her face every day is Cutthroat Bitch. When she & Wilson start dating there are so so so many jokes about her keeping his balls in her purse & having him whipped & etc etc just bc she’s assertive & confident. & then the whole two-part episode where they fridge her (which is. not quite house’s fault directly but he definitely contributed to it) they make it completely about house & wilson & maybe 2% about HER. I’m still mad forever

2.) After being fridged, she does show up in later seasons! As a hallucination. She shows back up to be the devil on House’s shoulder when he is hurtling towards a vicodin-induced breakdown. Literally only shows up to steer him into making bad decisions (including almost killing Chase (allergic to strawberries) by inviting him to a party where the stripper is wearing strawberry scented lotion that sends him into anaphylaxis)

3.) im so glad someone else submitted amber because she fits so well for this poll but i couldnt get my words out right but im going to try again anyway. i think an important aspect of how ambers character is treated and written for the audience has to do with if a man did what she did, hed be opportunistic and ambitious, if not a bit of an ass, but because shes doing it it makes her ‘bitchy’. “cutthroat bitch” “coldhearted bitch” etc is practically her canon alias at this point by how much she is referred to that way rather than her name. she is probably the most humanized out of wilson’s canon relationships and its mostly because theyre paralleling her to house. she deserved so much better she deserved the world and more

[rijl]

My most passionately-held controversial Young Royals take: Wille should absolutely abdicate the throne. (Season 2 spoilers ahead.)

"But Wille would make a good king!" There are no good cops, there are no good US presidents, there are no good kings. Monarchies are inherently unjust. The whole foundation of a monarchy is the idea that one family deserves exorbitant wealth and status at the expense of the majority just because they had the luck to be descended from some guys who probably killed and maneuvered their way into power and control. Monarchies are about the powerful dominating and exploiting the masses, and especially the already-oppressed. The writing of Young Royals isn't shy about showing how inhumane the monarchy is, and how holding power does not mean you deserve it. ALSO Wille doesn't want to be king!! He doesn't want that power, responsibility, or exposure, and he's likely becoming skeptical of the legitimacy of monarchy in general. Also "don't let Erik down" is just not a good reason, it doesn't make any sense. (Ok, the only scenario where he should be come king is if he plans to abolish the monarchy immediately afterward.)

"But then August would be king!" Well, ideally, Wille's abdication would result in a crisis that would lead to the end of the monarchy. But even if August did become king, maybe he and the monarchy deserve each other! They're both toxic. If the pressure of being prefect was tearing him up, just wait til he's king. It's not the ethical conundrum that it would be if the monarch of Sweden had any actual political power.

"But it would be cool/historical/good representation to have a queer king and prince consort." No, it wouldn't. It would be cool to have a queer couple cause the end of the monarchy. The systems of domination and exploitation that legitimize monarchies are the same ones that underlie sexism, racism, and yes, homophobia. Letting a queer person be in charge of the exploitation machine isn't justice. Ending the exploitation machine is justice. (This is also why discussions of whether Kristina is homophobic just run in circles-- her individual sympathies or lack thereof don't matter because her loyalty is to an institution that is inherently unjust and incompatible with queer liberation.) Also, Simon would never ever want to be a prince consort or involved in the monarchy in general! Lol! I think that's the clearest part of all this.

Again, I think the show is very clear about being anti-monarchy. It's critical of Sweden's class structure, and the monarchy is the pinnacle of that structure. The "welfare fraud vs. tax evasion" discussion shows the entitled and inhumane mindset of the wealthy students. The very creepy Society shows that the monarchy and the 1% are in a symbiotic relationship with the shared goal of keeping status and wealth in the hands of a few noble (i.e. been around for a long time i.e. white) families.

I do get the affinity for the Cinderella story happy ending idea! It's a compelling fairytale. And that's part of what fanfic is for. But as @communityradiointerndanielle put it: Young Royals and Red, White & Royal Blue have similarities and understandable fandom overlap, but the difference is: RWRB paints liberal aesthetics over the unjust institutions to let progressive-minded people enjoy the Cinderella fantasy without feeling guilty. Young Royals is a cautionary tale about why you don't actually want the Cinderella fantasy.

(This post brought to you by a recent poll where ~75% said Wille should not abdicate. Thankfully a few people including @tooindecisivetopickaurl, @antigorite, @emberc, eloquently disagreed or qualified this in the RBs!)

[orange-orchard-system]

Disclaimer before I begin that this isn't me accusing anyone of purposefully being ignorant or anything, I think it's just something that doesn't occur to people, but... I find it interesting that so many surveys or polls that include some kind of "Are you intersex?" question don't have a "How should I know?" option

Sex as a binary is based upon a lot of different factors, from hormones to chromosomes to secondary sex characteristics to more. For some of those things, people might not know if they don't fit perisex standards for their assigned sex! It's not like testing for, say, chromosomes happens often – and I've heard plenty of horror stories from intersex people whose family and doctors deliberately kept the fact that they were/are intersex a secret from them. Simply put, a person can go all of their life assuming they're perisex while actually being intersex simply due to a lack of information or lack of testing. It's no different than a trans person assuming they're cisgender, or a gay person assuming they're straight – it's all assumptions based upon the standard that everyone is expected to fit. It's just that finding out if you're intersex is a different process (one that, relevantly, can be blocked or made more difficult by bigoted doctors who aren't interested in helping their patients discover the truth).

And yet, while I see "questioning/don't know" options for other queer groups increasingly often, it doesn't happen very often for questions about being intersex. Again, not everyone who is intersex knows that they're intersex; not everyone answering your question knows if they're intersex or not. We need more options for people who don't know – and on a similar note, we need more general acceptance that being intersex is something people may not know about themselves. Being perisex should not be seen as the default that everyone fits until proven otherwise; it should just be something that someone can find out about themselves. If anything, "I don't know (yet) if I'm intersex or perisex" should be more commonplace!

But I think this post is getting away from me. My point is that it sure feels weird to see "Are you intersex?" questions on surveys and polls with no "idk" option compared to all the "I'm questioning" options for other queer identities. Like idk maybe at least give a "I'm waiting to get my test results back" option, especially if it's a mandatory question. Cut people who don't know yet some slack

[hot-take-tournament]

note: this take actually adresses some sensitive topics, including some that i didn't know how to tag, but may require content warnings - so just be careful

also, i had to post this early because for some reason tumblr kept deleting this specific post every time it was queued or saved as a draft

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

TOURNAMENT OVERTIME #182

Submission 527

the Barbie movie (2023) was horrible

[SUBMITTED JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT - PLEASE READ]

Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

Submitted justification:

unfortunately this is a dead serious take of mine. that movie was a story of a horrible tragedy portrayed as justice. and the subtle violent radfem undertones were deeply uncomfortable. my reasons for disliking it are very complicated and personal, so I'm going to try and keep this brief and try to avoid saying anything too charged.

i understand liking it— it was a very fun movie! the way they did the practical effects and props and setting were all genius and very cool!

but.. the way they handled Ken and his struggles felt extremely minimizing, cruel, and violent. I've *been* the reject kid before. I *know* what that's like. I've been humiliated and degraded before for being too much, for having ADHD, for being autistic, for wanting to be included in friend groups that didn't want me.

ken's story is a *tragedy* of a person who dared to ask for love and inclusion, who dared to ask over and over until the only option left to him was to be made into a villain for it. and instead of realizing that maybe, just maybe, this was a cry for help... that maybe, this was the last straw in a long long long line of instances of horribly cruel social bullying and humiliation.... that maybe Ken never wanted to hurt anyone, that maybe he just wanted everyone to see how much he was hurting, that maybe he never wanted power or violence, but empathy instead.... instead of considering any of at, the movie has Barbie and her friends *laugh* at his suffering, and watch him on the brink of tears with the grim satisfaction of a bully that got away with it.

i came away from this movie thinking, what should Ken have done better to avoid this? what could he have done to be truly accepted? what was the "good" choice, if what he actually chose was actually so evil?

and the answer is, nothing. he was spending his entire life serving and worshipping a group that wanted him quiet, polite, and dead. from personal experience, this is the kind of friend group that would probably find it at best a personal irritant, if he had attempted suicide.

this movie was so hurtful. it really felt like they said "people like you are better off dead or behaving like perfect mindless dolls, because when you try to get what you want, you just bother the people around you." conform or else.

i know people get icky when people claim that misandry exists, but.... consider the plot of this same movie, if ken had been one of barbie's girl friends. or if ken had been a trans girl. or hell, even a trans girl egg. i just see people only praising this movie and... no one seems to acknowledge how unnecessarily, brutally cruel they were to Ken, and how little empathy he received both from the general audience and from the writers and Barbie herself.

[greater-than-the-sword]

How to Back up a Tumblr Blog

This will be a long post.

Big thank you to @afairmaiden for doing so much of the legwork on this topic. Some of these instructions are copied from her verbatim.

Now, we all know that tumblr has an export function that theoretially allows you to export the contents of your blog. However, this function has several problems including no progress bar (such that it appears to hang for 30+ hours) and when you do finally download the gargantuan file, the blog posts cannot be browsed in any way resembling the original blog structure, searched by tag, etc.

What we found is a tool built for website archiving/mirroring called httrack. Obviously this is a big project when considering a large tumblr blog, but there are some ways to help keep it manageable. Details under the cut.

How to download your blog with HTTrack:

Website here

You will need:

A reliable computer and a good internet connection.

Time and space. For around 40,000 posts, expect 48 hours and 40GB. 6000 posts ≈ 10 hours, 12GB. If possible, test this on a small blog before jumping into a major project. There is an option to stop and continue an interrupted download later, but this may or may not actually resume where it left off. Keep in mind that Tumblr is a highly dynamic website with things changing all the time (notes, icons, pages being updated with every post, etc).

A custom theme. It doesn't have to be pretty, but it does need to be functional. That said, there are a few things you may want to make sure are in your theme before starting to archive:

the drop down meatball menu on posts with the date they were posted

tags visible on your theme, visible from your blog's main page

no icon images on posts/notes (They may be small, but keep in mind there are thousands of them, so if nothing else, they'll take up time. Instructions on how to exclude them below.)

Limitations: This will not save your liked or private posts, or messages. Poll results also may not show up.

What to expect from HTTrack:

HTTrack will mirror your blog locally by creating a series of linked HTML files that you can browse with your browser even if tumblr were to entirely go down. The link structure mimics the site structure, so you should be able to browse your own blog as if you had typed in the url of your custom theme into the browser. Some elements may not appear or load, and much of the following instructions are dedicated to making sure that you download the right images without downloading too many unnecessary images.

There will be a fair bit of redundancy as it will save:

individual posts pages for all your tags, such as tagged/me etc (If you tend to write a lot in your tags, you may want to save time and space by skipping this option. Instructions below.)

the day folder (if you have the meatball menu)

regular blog pages (page/1 etc)

How it works: HTTrack will be going through your url and saving the contents of every sub directory. In your file explorer this will look like a series of nested folders.

How to Start

Download and run HTTrack.

In your file directory, create an overarching folder for the project in some drive with a lot of space.

Start a new project. Select this folder in HTTrack as the save location for your project. Name your project.

For the url, enter https://[blogname].tumblr.com. Without the https:// you'll get a robots.txt error and it won't save anything.

Settings:

Open settings. Under "scan rules":

Check the box for filetypes .gif etc. Make sure the box for .zip etc. is unchecked. Check the box for .mov etc.

Under "limits":

Change the max speed to between 100,000 - 250,000. The reason this needs to be limited is because you could accidentally DDOS the website you are downloading. Do not DDOS tumblr.

Change the link limit to maybe 200,000-300,000 for a cutoff on a large blog, according to @afairmaiden. This limit is to prevent you from accidentally having a project that goes on infinitely due to redundancy or due to getting misdirected and suddenly trying to download the entirety of wikipedia.

Go through the other tabs. Check the box that says "Get HTML first". Uncheck "find every link". Uncheck "get linked non-html files". If you don't want to download literally the entire internet. Check "save all items in cache as well as HTML". Check "disconnect when finished".

Go back to Scan Rules.

There will be a large text box. In this box we place a sort of blacklist and whitelist for filetypes.

Paste the following text into that box.

+*.mp4 +*.gifv -*x-callback-url* -*/sharer/* -*/amp -*tumblr.com/image* -*/photoset_iframe/*

Optional:

-*/tagged/* (if you don't want to save pages for all your tags.)

-*/post/* (if you don't want to save each post individually. not recommended if you have readmores that redirect to individual posts.)

-*/day/* (if you don't feel it's necessary to search by date)

Optional but recommended:

-*/s64x64u*.jpg -*tumblr_*_64.jpg -*avatar_*_64.jpg -*/s16x16u*.jpg -*tumblr_*_16*.jpg -*avatar_*_16.jpg -*/s64x64u*.gif -*tumblr_*_64.gif -*avatar_*_64.gif -*/s16x16u*.gif -*tumblr_*_16.gif -*avatar_*_16.gif

This will prevent the downloading of icons/avatars, which tend to be extremely redundant as each image downloads a separate time for each appearance.

Many icons are in .pnj format and therefore won't download unless you add the extension (+*.pnj), so you may be able to whitelist the URLs for your and your friends' icons. (Honestly, editing your theme to remove icons from your notes may be the simpler solution here.)

You should now be ready to start.

Make sure your computer doesn't overheat during the extremely long download process.

Pages tend to be among the last things to save. If you have infinite scroll on, your first page (index.html) may not have a link to page 2, but your pages will be in the folder.

Shortly after your pages are done, you may see the link progress start over. This may be to check that everything is complete. At this point, it should be safe to click cancel if you want to stop, but you run the risk of more stuff being missing. You will need to wait a few minutes for pending transfers to be competed.

Once you're done, you'll want to check for: Files without an extension.

Start with your pages folder, sort items by file type, and look for ones that are simply listed as "file" rather than HTML. Add the appropriate extension (in this case, .html) and check to see if it works. (This may cause links to this page to appear broken.)

Next, sort by file size and check for 0B files. HTMLs will appear as a blank page. Delete these. Empty folders. View files as large icons to find these quickly.

If possible, make a backup copy of your project file and folder, especially if you have a fairly complete download and you want to update it.

Finally, turn off your computer and let it rest.

[olderthannetfic]

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

--

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.