#maybe the first four songs are a song from each past album? & then the last song is either a new song or

[starfall-calamity]

Making this on my alt to say im 100% convinced that a CJPH is so going to happen I can feel it & I'm not crazy & I'm so sane about this

[herrscherofinsanity]

Yours Truly

Fluff (angst if you squint)

Yu Jimin x fem!reader

Word count: 10.1k (haha oops)

You had known Yu Jimin even before your career as a singer was officially launched. You two were inseparable; wherever you went, Jimin was sure to follow, but did she actually care about you or were you simply a job to her?

______________________

You sat inside one of the conference rooms FT Entertainment had to offer, bouncing your leg and fighting the urge to bite your nails as anxiety threatened to take over your body.

The higher ups had called you to discuss some details regarding your debut as a soloist. You had been working hard for the past four years, and they had finally given you the green light, but you knew very well that nothing was set in stone, hence your uncontrollable nerves.

As you waited for everyone else involved to arrive, you couldn't help but wonder what exactly was about to be discussed. The single had already been chosen, concept and music video were already brought up, the songs for the album were approved, the schedule was ready, everything was settled; or at least, that's what you thought.

Just then, the doors of the conference room made way for a group of people. You recognized a few of them from previous meetings, perhaps this meeting was simply to go over everything you had planned already one more time.

While you waited for them to settle down, your attention was caught by the person taking the seat right by your side. You turned towards the new occupant of the chair, trying to get a good look at them when you realized you had a vague idea of who it was. Maybe you passed by each other in the busy hallways of the company?

The young woman sitting beside you had a cold exterior, at first glance she was very intimidating. You first noticed the mole right by her lips, then her long black hair which framed her small face perfectly, her calculating eyes looked everywhere but in your direction. What truly caught your attention though, was the fact that under the table, concealed to the rest of the people in the room, she was picking at the skin around her nails.

A nervous habit, you thought to yourself.

You wanted to reach out and tell her to stop for she would end up hurting herself, but you brushed off the idea, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

You sighed, and that was what finally made her look directly at you. As you locked eyes, you gave her a small smile, trying to ease her nerves despite the fact that you were ready to combust any second now.

She didn't return your smile, but she gave you a slight nod in acknowledgement. Before you could muster up the courage to say something to your companion, someone else at the table cleared their throat.

"Good evening, everyone" the man sitting at the head of the table spoke, everyone else echoed the pleasantries before he continued "we're here today to go over the details regarding our new soloist's debut one last time, and also fix anything that might have been left behind. Please, proceed".

Another man present in the meeting went on and on about things you had already memorized. Trying your best to hide your boredom, you snuck a glance towards the girl sitting beside you only to realize she was dutifully taking notes of your schedule.

"y/n?" the man called out.

"Yes sir?"

"As you can see, there's only one thing missing from everything we have discussed so far" he paused, as if waiting for you to say something. When that didn't happen, he kept going "you can't just go gallivanting around without any type of supervision, which is why we've finally chosen the perfect person for the job".

You were confused, to say the least. He made it sound like you needed a babysitter and no one wanted to take the job.

"Are you talking about my manager, sir?" you cautiously asked.

"Correct. Don't worry, she might be on the younger side, but she has plenty of experience and she's already proven her worth" he had a pleased smile on his face, you noticed the girl beside you shifting a bit. "Coincidentally, she's sitting right beside you".

You, once again, turned to give the girl on your right your full attention. This time, she also did the same. You stared at each other for what felt like ages, you weren't sure what to think of your new manager, but you knew one thing. You can't make an enemy out of her unless you want her to make your life miserable. With that in mind, you tried to smile at her once more, you gave her the practiced smile you had been praised for by your media trainers before, but the girl beside you slightly furrowed her eyebrows before returning your smile hesitantly.

"I'm y/n y/l/n, it's very nice to meet you".

"My name is Yu Jimin, I look forward to working with you".

______________________

Yu Jimin had always been considered some sort of prodigy. Ever since she uttered her first words, everyone expected her to get far in life. Despite the pressure, Jimin lived a happy life growing up. She enjoyed school, had great friends, her parents were supportive of her dreams and her older sister was nice enough.

When Jimin told her parents she wanted to be a part of the entertainment industry they supported her decision. They thought their daughter wanted to be up on the stage, but that was far from what she wanted.

Jimin was interested in the entertainment world, sure, but she was more interested in how it worked, in the behind the scenes of it all. Jimin wanted to be a manager, she wanted to help out the artists, she wanted to be a part of the process. She aimed for a business management degree with a minor in marketing in the best university she could find.

During her senior year in college, she had an opportunity to work as a junior manager right there in FT Entertainment. The whole experience left a bittersweet feeling in Jimin's life, her client was far from pleasant and the senior manager was also far from being an ideal mentor. Nevertheless, Jimin wasn't ready to give up yet, she had never given up on anything in her life and she wasn't going to start now. So when FTE offered her a permanent position and a chance to be an official manager she took it without hesitation.

That's what brought her to you.

In truth, Jimin already knew you, or at least, she had an idea of who you were. She had seen you walking down the hallways of FTE, a smile always present on your face despite the grueling training you were going through. Jimin always thought you had a pretty smile, and you seemed to gather attention wherever you went, that was a good sign. Jimin had heard from the higher ups how incredible your skills were, and how it was the right time for your debut. They offered Jimin a chance to be your manager and she accepted the opportunity with much excitement.

Jimin's opinion on you shifted a bit when you threw that obviously manufactured smile her way. It wasn't the same pretty smile she had witnessed so many times in the hallways, it wasn't that genuine smile that gave others hope. Jimin didn't like it, not one bit.

She sighed, you were glued to each other now thanks to the contract, she just hoped you could get along.

______________________

After the introductions were made the meeting didn't last for much longer. You made your way to your newly assigned apartment, your schedule was officially starting tomorrow morning and you needed to get some sleep.

As you made your way through your night routine, you thought back to your interactions with your new manager. They were mostly limited to nods and hums here and there.

"Be ready by 5:30am, I'll come by to pick you up". That was the most the other woman had said to you.

You sighed. It's not that you were expecting to be besties with your manager, you were actually expecting some middle aged man with little to no patience whatsoever, but a spark of excitement spread through your body when you found out your manager was barely two years older than you were.

That spark was quickly put out when it was made clear by her that things between you were simply meant to be professional. So much for team work makes the dream work.

You were just about ready to close your eyes and get some sleep when your phone buzzed on your nightstand. Cursing whoever was texting you this late, you reached for your phone, puzzled as you realized it was an unknown number.

[10:45pm] unknown: Good night, Ms. y/l/n, this is your manager Ms. Yu.

[10:45pm] unknown: I'm just texting you so you can save my number. Don't forget to be ready by 5:30am. That's all, good night.

You sent her a simple reply, you didn't want to engage in further conversation and you were sure she wouldn't want to either. You set your alarm for 3:45am, internally crying when you saw the amount of time you would be able to sleep. Boy, it's going to be a long day.

When you awoke next morning, you seriously didn't feel like getting up, but you were in too deep in this whole thing now. Plus your manager looked like she would literally drag you to your next schedule, you had no choice.

As you stepped out of the comfort of your room to get something for breakfast, you almost had a heart attack when you saw a figure making its way through your living room. You let out the loudest scream you could muster as you made your way to turn the light switch on. The figure was clearly startled by both your shrieks and the light.

"What are you screaming for? It's just me, geez" your manager said, an annoyed look on her face.

"Oh my good god! What on earth are you doing here!?" she's the one breaking into your apartment and she still has the audacity to look mad? "We agreed to leave at 5:30am, what's going on?"

"I came to wake you up..." she replied, you noticed her picking the skin around her fingernails once again. Huh.

"I don't want to be ungrateful or rude, Ms. Yu, but I'm perfectly capable of waking up by myself" you huffed, but you felt some of your annoyance leaving your body when you noticed the girl before you looking embarrassed.

"I'm really sorry about that, I never meant to scare you" she looked down in shame, "my past client would never do anything at the arranged time, and it was my job to wake her up".

Your annoyance completely left your body when you heard that, poor thing really didn't mean any harm. You made a mental note to have better communication with your manager. You made your way to the kitchen without saying anything, she followed you curiously.

"What time did you wake up to get here so early?" you asked as you went through the fridge.

Jimin cleared her throat before responding "I have a feeling you're going to scream again if I tell you, let's just say very early".

You turned towards the girl and gave her a sympathetic look. "I appreciate the effort, Ms. Yu, but please don't sacrifice something as important as sleep for something so insignificant. Did you even eat before coming here?". Your manager shook her head and you sighed.

"Okay, we're gonna have breakfast together, and then you'll have to wait for me to get ready".

"Ms. y/l/n, that's not really-"

"It's not up for discussion, Ms. Yu" you cut her off. "Take a sit, I'll cook something up real quick".

Jimin reluctantly took a seat at the kitchen table as she watched you work. She's not at all what I expected.

"Again, I am very sorry for what happened" Jimin said, trying to break the silence that had enveloped you.

You sighed as you turned to face her "Don't worry about it, I know it's your job to take care of me, but what about you, huh?".

Your answer puzzled Jimin, "what do you mean by that?".

"You're gonna be taking care of me, so I will be taking care of you. It's only fair, don't you think? We're a team after all" you smiled at her, and this time she didn't reject your smile.

There it is, she thought, that beautiful smile.

______________________

The rest of the day was packed with activities, you and Jimin ran around the city barely getting any time to catch a break. When everything was over, it was almost midnight. Your manager dropped you off at your apartment, reminding you how you had to be ready to leave at 5:30am again.

You woke up the next morning and immediately made your way to the kitchen. As you were crossing the living room, you caught Jimin quietly closing the front door.

"Good morning, Ms. Yu" your greeting startled the other girl, she turned with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Good morning, Ms. y/l/n" she sighed "you don't seem surprised to see me".

"I had a feeling you weren't going to listen to me" you motioned for her to follow you to the kitchen "you're the stubborn type, aren't you?"

She blushed, that wasn't the impression she wanted you to have of her. "I'd prefer if you thought of me as... diligent".

"Diligent? Right." you chuckled "Anyway, breakfast for two?".

______________________

Months went by and as your debut was drawing near, your relationship with your manager had taken a turn for the better. She was much friendlier now, you found out she just needed a little time to open up.

Regardless of that, your schedules were still driving you crazy. You still had to get up incredibly early, and got home insanely late. You weren't the only one who was barely keeping it together though. Your manager would still get to your place way earlier than it was necessary and she would go back to her place even later because she insisted on dropping you off herself.

It was clearly taking a toll on her, you often caught her trying to take naps in between some of your schedules that didn't demand much of her attention. You were worried about her, she probably worked harder than you did and she wasn't going to receive as much credit as she deserved when the debut finally happened.

You were currently on a water break, your dance practice was almost over yet they allowed you a few minutes to breathe. You were sitting with your back against the wall, Jimin, as always, wasn't far away. She was sitting at a couch placed in the dance studio, lazily scrolling on her phone.

"Hey, Jimin?" you called out to her, feeling a little giddy. You still found it hard to believe sometimes how you got the rather standoffish girl to be your friend.

"What's up?" she turned to look at you with anticipation.

"So, I've been thinking-"

"Uh oh"

"Shush you, don't be mean" you playfully rolled your eyes as she laughed at her little joke "As I was saying, I've been thinking about our current situation".

"Don't tell me you're just realizing you're going to debut" she teased.

"Be serious for a second" you huffed "It's just, I've been thinking about how tired we both are, especially you".

"It's part of the job" Jimin shrugged.

"Right, I get that" you got up and walked over to where she was sitting "but things could be a little better, at least for you".

She stared at you for a second as you sat down across from her. "How so?".

"Why don't you move in with me?" you said casually. Jimin froze for a second not knowing how to react.

"What?" she said quietly.

"Jimin, think about it for a second. You only sleep for like an hour because you insist on coming over at 3am when you've barely dropped me off less than three hours ago. Also, you and I spend 24/7 together, we've known each other for a while now, it won't be weird".

Jimin sat quietly for a second, she was considering your offer. "Wouldn't I be bothering you?"

"I'm more bothered by the fact that you could collapse any second from exhaustion. Plus, I wouldn't be offering if it was a problem". You could see the gears turning in her head, she picked at the skin around her nails as she silently debated what to do.

"I can see you're not convinced so let's find a way to compromise" you suggested.

"Go on, I'm listening"

"Okay first, stop doing that, you're going to hurt yourself" you said, pointing at her hands. She blushed, but listened to you. "You move in with me, but it will be temporary. We'll live together until we have a decent schedule and you can get enough sleep at your own place".

Jimin considered your words and slowly nodded her head. "Yeah... yeah, okay. That sounds reasonable enough, let's do it" she smiled at you, and in that moment, it looked like all of her exhaustion was washed away.

______________________

("Ms. Yu?"

"Yes Ms. y/l/n?"

"Would you say we're friends?"

A pause.

"I don't see why we wouldn't be".

"Then... would it be okay if I were to call you Jimin?"

"It would be an honor if you did, y/n".)

______________________

The following days went off without a hitch. Jimin had temporarily moved into your apartment, and although your schedules were still insane your manager looked less like a zombie and more like your friend. Living with her wasn’t unpleasant, you both had your own rooms and bathrooms, and neither of you had displayed any annoying habits. Jimin was surprised, she didn’t expect you to be so organized; you were also surprised, you never expected the other girl to be so laid back when she got a chance to relax.

The universe had mercy on the two of you and granted you with three free days, you had planned to sleep through the entirety of your break, but Jimin had something else in mind.

“I hate grocery shopping! It’s boring and it takes too long” you whined, Jimin had never seen you resemble a child so much as in that exact moment.

“But we’re almost out of food” Jimin reasoned. If she had known you were going to complain so much, she would’ve tricked you into going instead of out right asking. I’ll just have to do that next month.

“Can’t we order something?”

“We don’t have that much money either” Jimin sighed. “Why don’t we make a deal?”

That caught your attention, you ceased your whining to hear her out. “Go on, I’m listening”.

“If you come with me and help out with the groceries, I’ll get you any snacks you want” you wanted to act like a child, she would treat you like one.

“Are you trying to bribe me? With snacks?” you arched one of your eyebrows “Jimin, I know damn well you’re older than me, but I’m not six”.

“Then stop acting like you’re six” she huffed. “Okay, let’s try that again. What do you want in exchange for a trip to the grocery store?”

Jimin saw the smirk that was slowly spreading through your face, and she swore she had never felt more nervous in her life.

“Anything I want?” you said, a suggestive look on your face.

“Try to be reasonable” she gulped “please?”.

“I want to spend some quality time with you”.

What?

“Huh?” she wasn’t sure she heard you right. She wasn’t expecting something so simple, she fully expected you to ask her for something ridiculous.

“Let’s have a movie night, we’ll sit back and relax, I think we’ve earned it” you smiled sweetly at her.

Jimin thought about it for a second, you weren’t asking for much and you both really needed those groceries. Plus, spending a little quality time together wouldn’t be so bad, you two would be working together for many years to come, it was the best course of action to try to get along as much as possible.

“Okay, but under one condition” she said, her voice taking a teasing tone, you shot her a look, waiting for her to continue “I get to pick the movie”.

“As long as it’s not horror I’m totally game” you shrugged.

“Fine by me, I don’t like horror anyway”.

“You and I are going to be the best of friends; I just know it!” you smiled brightly at her.

______________________

(“You chose a rom-com?”

“Yeah, is there something wrong?”

“…Are you trying to tell me something, Ms Yu?”

“Be quiet and watch the movie, y/n”

"Bossy... I like that"

"y/n!")

______________________

Time kept moving forward, and soon everything was ready for your debut. The album was completely recorded, the music video had already been edited, and you had perfected the choreography for your first live performance. Everyone at the company was beyond excited to finally launch the project, but no one seemed more excited than your manager. Jimin claimed she was a big fan of the album and she would buy a copy when it was available. You thanked her, but didn’t take it to heart; your roommate was always nice with you, you thought she was simply trying to spare your feelings.

When the long-awaited day came around, FTE hosted a party to celebrate the rise of their new star. The debut had been a success; the general public loved the music video and fresh concept; they praised your vocal skills and loved the choreography. You spent the major part of the gathering talking to the higher ups and trading fake, business smiles rather than enjoying yourself like any young woman would. Jimin, on the other hand, was stuck in a similar situation. She was being praised left and right for her diligence and all the effort she put into this project. They even offered her a bigger opportunity, managing a bigger artist in the company; Jimin didn’t have to think twice before rejecting the offer. She understood that her place was by your side.

As the party died down, you and Jimin made your way to your shared apartment. Your schedules became a bit more decent about a month ago, but Jimin insisted on staying there with you.

It will be way more efficient to keep working like this, she had said when you asked if she wanted to go back to her own place.

Making your way through the apartment, Jimin stopped you before you could step foot in your room.

“Hey, y/n?” she softly called out to you.

“Yes, Jimin?” she walked over to you and wrapped you in a long hug. It was something rather new, you had just recently become “touchier” with each other if you could even call it that. Brief hugs, hand holding to express support, leaning your head against her shoulder when you were having your ‘absolutely mandatory’ movie night, needless to say, you both had developed a bond along the way.

“I’m extremely proud of you” she whispered.

“Thanks, coming from you… it means way more than you realize” you whispered back to her.

She finally let go of you, and with one last smile she made her way into her room.

Jimin laughed to herself when she noticed the object that was waiting for her on her bed. A copy of your album with a note on top of it.

“To my biggest fan, thank you for your unconditional support. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.

-Yours truly, y/n”

Jimin smiled to herself, every day she thanked her lucky stars for giving her this opportunity, she really couldn’t have asked for a better client. When she first met you, she had thought you were a diva in the making, a fake, but you proved her wrong every single day and she had learned to love every moment she got to spend by your side. So, when the time came for her to go back to her “home”, as you had called it, she had thrown an excuse regarding efficiency and didn’t look back. However, Jimin was too shy to admit that wasn’t the real reason for her now permanent stay at your place.

It’s doesn’t feel like home without you.

_____________________

(“Okay, I need your honest opinion”.

“Uh huh”

“What do you think of this outfit?”

“It’s very nice, I think it suits the concept”.

“…My eyes are up here, Jimin”.

“I was checking out the pattern!”

“Pinocchio was a better liar than you”)

______________________

Years went by, you’ve become one of the biggest artists in the industry, and Jimin was been there with you every step of the way. From the existential crisis and the hate comments to winning awards and breaking records, Jimin has never left your side. You could say, without a doubt that she’s your best friend.

Aside from her, you’ve managed to make some pretty good friends in the industry, one of your closest friends being a member from a famous band, Miyeon. The two of you had met at a variety show and immediately hit it off, you shared a lot of the same interests which made your connection almost instant. Miyeon understood you in a way that even Jimin couldn’t, you were very grateful to have a friend that was as famous as you were.

Jimin, on the other hand, didn’t like Miyeon.

Jimin felt threatened by Miyeon. For the longest time, it had been just you and her, but then Miyeon came along. Jimin was happy that you found a friend, but she didn’t like how that friend was the only thing you wanted to talk about, she didn’t like the way your eyes seemed to sparkle anytime the other girl was around. Jimin hated it. Although, she didn’t fully understand just why she felt like that.

It was one of your off days, Jimin was lazing around in the living room, wondering what to do with her free time when you walked out of your room looking ready to step out of your shared home.

(How come you and I don’t have nicknames for each other?)

“Hey babe, where are you going?” she asked.

(Is it necessary? Scratch that, is it important?)

“I’m going shopping!” you said, walking over to where she was sitting. “Do you want me to bring something back for you?”.

(Of course it is! How else are we supposed to showcase our amazing bond?)

“Mm nah, I think I’m good, thanks though” she paused, considering something “are you going by yourself?”.

(Okay then, I’ll try to come up with something. What are you going to call me?)

“You know I don’t like shopping by myself, it gets boring” you said dramatically, making your friend laugh “Miyeon is coming with me, she’s actually picking me up”. You finished with a smile, Jimin’s laughter quickly died down, her smile replaced with a scowl.

Jimin took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she said something she shouldn’t. “Have fun, be careful, don’t get into a scandal, you know the drill”. she shrugged her shoulders sighing defeatedly.

“Looks like someone’s in a bad mood” before you could question her sudden change in attitude, your phone buzzed in your hand “saved by the bell” you gave her a look, she simply rolled her eyes.

Would it be too much if I chained her to the kitchen table? Jimin thought to herself.

(I’ve actually been thinking about it. What do you think of Yuji? You know, as in Yu Ji-min. I think it’s cute.)

“She’s here, I gotta go” you gave Jimin a long look before continuing “how about you and I watch a movie when I get back?”.

“Tonight isn’t movie night though” she said in her ‘I know better’ voice.

“Stop being difficult, let’s hang out, please” you shot her your wounded puppy look and she immediately felt her resolve crumble. “We can do something else if you want, I just want to spend some time with you”.

If you actually wanted to spend time with me, you wouldn’t be leaving with her right now. “Okay fine, let’s hang out when you get back” she admitted defeat.

“You’re the best!” you quickly gave her a kiss on the cheek and rushed to the front door “See you later, Yuji!” and with that final exclamation you left.

(Yuji… no one’s ever called me that before. I like it.)

Jimin sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time. She couldn’t possibly stay on the couch simply waiting for you to get back, she wasn’t a pet. She opted for calling her own friends, maybe they wanted to hang out with her, she thought rather bitterly.

You had been out for around four hours now, you and Miyeon had gone through every store and felt the exhaustion starting to hit, hence why you decided to stop by the food court to get something to snack on.

Laughter filled the table you two shared as you traded stories from your respective schedules. Miyeon had been casted for a drama and she kept complaining about how her co-star was ‘a literal man-child’. You, in return, told her about the different people you had met at your recent job as an MC for a music show. However, your laughter was soon interrupted by your phone.

You furrowed your eyebrows when you saw the name that was flashing across the screen.

Manager Yu.

Jimin had two phones; one which she used exclusively for work, and the other she used for her own entertainment. Business and pleasure shouldn’t mix, she had stated when you asked her about it. That rule applied even for you, she used her work phone whenever she had to notify you about an upcoming schedule, and she used her personal phone whenever she wanted to share something completely unrelated to work. The fact that she was calling from her work phone only meant that you were probably needed somewhere.

“Excuse me for a second, Miyeon, I need to take this” you smiled at your friend apologetically.

“Don’t worry about it, take your time” she returned your smile as she got up from the table “I’ll go to the restroom meanwhile”.

You watched her walk away, before sighing and bringing the phone up to your ear. As soon as you picked up, Jimin’s voice could be heard through the speaker.

“Hey baby!” she exclaimed.

“Um… hey, Yuji? Did something come up?” you bit your lip in anticipation.

“Huh? No, today’s our free day, they know better than to bother us” she stated, it only left you even more confused.

“Then why are you using this phone?” you asked incredulously.

“Well, I just really wanted you to pick up, I knew you wouldn’t ignore a work call” she said simply, you could literally hear the smirk on her face.

“I knew you were obsessed with me” you sighed “can’t even go a few hours without my wonderful presence”.

“You’re too full of yourself” she huffed indignantly “I just wanted to ask you if you could bring back pizza for dinner”.

You had a feeling that wasn’t the only reason she was calling. You were aware of the fact that Jimin wasn’t too fond of your friend, but you didn’t know why. She was probably calling to play monitor, nevertheless, you didn’t want to call her out on her odd behavior and make her feel embarrassed so you played along. “Alright, whatever you want”.

“Thank you, baby, you’re the best!” she cheered, you giggled at that. Jimin, at first glance, was incredibly intimidating, but once she managed to grow comfortable with someone the huge dork she hid perfectly to the rest of the world would come out. You often teased her about how adorable she was.

“Anything for my biggest fan” you said softly.

“I remember you said you were ‘truly mine’ the first time you called me that” your manager said in a low voice. Oh.

“I did say that” you felt your heart beating faster. What was she getting at? She has never said something like this, it usually goes the other way around.

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course I did” before you could say something else, Miyeon came back from the bathroom. “Listen, I got to go. We’ll continue this when I get back” you heard Jimin laughing before you hung up.

“Is everything okay?” Miyeon asked, a bit of concern lacing her question “you’re blushing”.

“Yes, everything’s fine, don’t worry about it”.

______________________

[1:27pm] Manager Yu: Meeting tomorrow with Music Bank staff, don’t forget.

[2:53pm] Yuji ❤️: babyyy check out this tik tok

______________________

 “I’m home” you called out as you stepped into your shared apartment. You heard multiple voices coming from the living room; had Jimin really spent this whole-time watching TV on the couch?

You made your way to the living room with Jimin’s favorite pizza in one hand, shopping bags in the other, you were about to complain to your manager about how she had tricked you earlier when you realized the other voices you heard weren’t coming from the TV. You froze when you noticed four girls lounging around your living room. Two of them were sprawled on the couch, but your attention was entirely on the two girls that were occupying the floor.

Jimin sat there, her back resting against the couch as she cuddled with another girl you failed to recognize. You felt your blood boiling, while you were out getting Jimin her favorite pizza she was here with another girl in her arms? You clenched your jaw at the sight, but bit your tongue, knowing full well as a celebrity you couldn’t exactly go off and insult random girls.

“Oh my god! It’s really her!” one of the girls on the couch exclaimed at the sight of you.

“She’s even more beautiful in person” the other occupant of the couch said, a smirk on her face.

You couldn’t really pay attention to the girls, your focus zeroed in on the way Jimin’s arms were wrapped around the third stranger’s waist. Jimin cleared her throat before speaking.

“Hey y/n, how was your day?” y/n? What happened to baby? Jimin rarely used your name, reserving it for times you two were in a professional environment, she hadn’t really called you that in years outside of conference rooms. You furrowed your eyebrows at that, and she immediately sensed your displeasure.

“It was fine, Yuji” you sighed, realizing your anger was out of place. You had no right to be mad at her for being with another girl, you two were simply friends; the thought didn’t help to ease how much it hurt though. “So, am I interrupting?”

“Not at all!” one of the girls on the couch said “you should join us!”

“Please excuse my friend’s excitement, y/n”. Ouch. “These are my best friends. That one’s Yizhuo, she’s a big fan of yours, next to her is Aeri, and this one’s Minjeong” Jimin introduced each of her friends.

“Come on, Jimin, I’m also a big fan” the girl who was introduced as Aeri said with a smirk. “It’s an honor to meet you, gorgeous”. You giggled at her obvious attempt; your reaction fueling her confidence.

“Thank you” you gave them your practiced smile, Jimin furrowed her eyebrows “it’s a pleasure, I love meeting fans, especially the cute ones” you winked at Aeri.

“Do you want to watch a movie with us?” Yizhuo asked, you swore you saw stars in her eyes.

You moved to place the pizza on the coffee table before answering “Don’t worry about it, enjoy your time together, I’ll be in my room”. Yizhuo pouted and you laughed “Maybe next time, okay?”. You smiled at the girls before making your way to your room, ready to collapse in your bed and be sad in peace, completely missing the way Jimin’s eyes followed your retreating figure.

Dinner time came around, you were debating whether you should step out and cook something up or just skip your meal altogether and sleep when the door to your room opened. Jimin stepped inside cautiously, holding a plate with two slices of pizza resting on it.

“Here, I saved some for you” she offered you a soft smile, and you felt your heart aching even more.

You accepted the meal with a soft thank you, not daring to meet her eyes. Jimin was concerned, she felt your sad state the second she locked eyes with you when you stepped into the apartment. She didn’t know what was causing your sadness, but she would do anything in her power to make you feel better.

“Baby” she softly called out, you huffed at her choice of words “what’s wrong? Did Miyeon do something to you?”.

That immediately made you look at her, surprise written all over your face “What are you talking about? Miyeon wouldn’t do anything”. She took note of the anger swimming in your eyes, there was something else there, but she couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Are you sure? You’ve been upset since you came back, don’t think for a second that I didn’t notice” she stated.

“I don’t want to talk about it” you rolled your eyes. You knew you were being unfair, but you also weren’t ready to go there with Jimin, your anger was still fresh, you knew you were bound to say something hurtful if you kept going.

Jimin felt herself growing more and more frustrated with you; she knew you like the back of her hand, one look into your eyes and she knew what was going through your head, she knew you often got stressed and took it out on the world, but you had never taken it out on her. Jimin couldn’t figure out what was wrong with you.

“Okay, you don’t want to talk? That’s fine” you stared at her suspiciously, she continued “we were supposed to hang out when you came back. Scoot over and make room for me, we’re watching a movie”.

“Weren’t you just watching movies with your friends?” you shot back rather bitterly, Jimin got a vague idea of what was bothering you.

“So? I want to watch a movie with my girl” she said as she climbed your bed, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you close to her.

“Your what?” you managed to squeak out, making her laugh in the process.

“You said so yourself. The first time you did was four years ago on that note you left, and you’ve been calling yourself that every single time you leave a note, no matter what the contents are, you always sign it like that” she held you tighter, her voice growing sultrier with every word she spoke.

“I have never referred to myself as ‘your girl’” you said indignantly.

“No?” she chuckled “You always sign your notes with ‘yours truly’ at the end, and I know very well you don’t do that for anyone else. Doesn’t that mean you’re mine?” she whispered in your ear.

You sighed, trying to calm yourself down. “What game are you playing, Jimin?”.

“Me?” she tried to ignore the way her heart dropped when you referred to her by her name instead of the nickname you always insisted on using “I’m not doing anything. I told you, I want to watch a movie with you”. When you didn’t say anything, Jimin counted this little moment as a victory for herself and chose a movie.

You settled down in Jimin’s arms trying to pay attention to the movie she had chosen; the key word being trying. Your mind kept going back to the girl that had previously occupied your current position. Jimin was a very touchy person, she was very into physical contact and you never complained, you enjoyed the attention. Cuddling wasn’t something new for the two of you, it happened rather often, but you made the mistake of thinking this behavior was something she saved just for you. Turns out she cuddles all of her friends, you thought bitterly.

Jimin could sense your inner turmoil, and it made her feel sad not knowing how to help you. She pressed a kiss to your head as she held you tighter, wishing to protect you from whatever it was that was causing you such distress. What Jimin didn’t know was that her actions made your heart ache even more.

______________________

(“Hi y/n! It’s so amazing to have you here with us today!”

“Thank you, the pleasure’s all mine!”

“Your manager is here with you today, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she is. Why do you ask?”

“We know your fans are also fond of her, they have this ongoing joke that you two are like an old married couple.”

You laughed rather loudly. Jimin, backstage, caught herself staring.

“What do you think of that, y/n?”

“Well, I don’t mind, I honestly think it’s cute.”)

______________________

About a week had gone by since your jealousy had gotten the better of you, and there has been a certain tension between you and Jimin ever since. Jimin had grown bolder with you, she used to make a few flirtatious comments here and there, but they’ve become more frequent. Her touches have also changed, as if she’s feeling more confident around you now. You weren’t sure how to react.

You walked out of your room wanting to get a snack when you ran into Jimin loitering in the living room couch. She smiled when she saw you, but it seemed rather forced. You walked up to her wanting to see what was wrong when she surprised you by pulling you into her lap, she nuzzled your neck as her arms made their way around your waist. You giggled at the sensation.

“That tickles…” you said, she hummed. “You seem upset, what’s wrong?” you asked as you played with her hair.

“I don’t want you to feel bad, don’t worry about it, baby” she mumbled.

You frowned at her words “what do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”.

“Not exactly” she sighed, wondering if she should really tell you, but one look into your concerned eyes was enough to make her crack. “You know how my birthday’s coming up? I wanted to spend it with my parents since it was a free day, I even thought of bringing you along so I could introduce you, but now that’s not going to happen”. She finished with a pout and you felt your heart melting at the sight.

“I’m almost to afraid to ask, but why isn’t it going to happen?” you bit your lip nervously.

“I got a call this morning, you have three interviews lined up that day and who knows if something else is going to pop off” she said, resting her head on your shoulder.

“I’m really sorry about that, Yuji. Maybe I could call the company and ask for someone else to go with me? That way you’ll get to spend your special day with your family”. You suggested but she quickly shook her head.

“Don’t bother, I wanted to bring you with me, it won’t be the same without you there”.

“Why did you want to bring me along?” you asked quietly, if Jimin wasn’t so close she probably wouldn’t have heard you.

“You’re the most important person in my life” she said as if it was nothing “of course I wanted them to meet you”.

You cursed everyone involved in booking those interviews in your head, maybe now would be a good time to retire. You mumbled a soft thank you to Jimin and settled in her arms without saying anything else. She leaned back into a more comfortable position; both of you staying there, simply enjoying each other’s presence.

I don’t know how, but I will make sure Jimin has the best birthday she’s ever had.

______________________

(‘y/n, what’s your most prized possession?’ Mm, that’s a good question, let me think about it.

Instagram live, you sat there reading through the many questions pouring in. Jimin was sitting a few feet away.

“Jimin and I went to this workshop a few months ago where we learned how to make bracelets, we ended up making bracelets for each other. See?”

You showed your bracelet to the camera.

“That’s my most prized possession, the bracelet Jimin worked so hard on because she loves me so much!”

Jimin rolled her eyes but still laughed, a fond look in her eyes.)

______________________

Jimin’s birthday rolled around and you pulled all the stops since the moment you woke up. Jimin had a routine she always had to follow, so you knew it by heart. You made sure to wake up before she did so you could surprise her properly. Honestly you had no idea if Jimin wanted to spend whatever free time remained with her friends, but she didn’t mention anything so for your sake and sanity you assumed she doesn’t have anything planned.

As you cooked breakfast for your manager, you went through the plan once again. You’d wake her up with breakfast in bed, while she showered, you’d leave everything ready so you could surprise her once you came back from today’s schedules. She could call her friends up if she wanted to after she received your gift, you wanted that moment to be only for the two of you.

Once you were done with her breakfast you made your way to her room with the tray in your hands. You tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting her to wake up before you could put everything into place. You carefully placed the tray on her bedside table, took a deep breath and exclaimed:

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

Jimin jolted awake feeling completely disoriented, she tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes while she attempted to figure out what was going on. The first thing she noticed was the smell of food, she turned to her bedside table and found a tray lying there containing a plate with pancakes, a cup of coffee, and a note that read:

 Breakfast in bed for the birthday girl :)

-Yours truly, y/n

Jimin felt her heart melt at the sight, you clearly had woken up extra early to surprise her. She turned to you and opened her arms, silently asking you for a hug. You laughed but complied with her request.

“Happy birthday to the best manager in the world” you whispered.

“Thank you for doing this, baby. It means the world to me, really” she said fondly while she hugged you tighter. You let the embrace linger for a few seconds before making a move to get up, Jimin whined. “Where are you going? Aren’t we eating together?” she pouted, sometimes you found it hard to believe she was the older one between you two.

“I need to get ready, we have a job, remember?” you laughed at her expression. “Eat up before your food gets cold, there’s no time to waste!” and before she could keep complaining you rushed out her room. You had to make sure everything was perfect for her.

While you maneuvered through interviews and photoshoots, Jimin kept answering calls and texts from different people trying to wish her a happy birthday. At some point during the day, she had admitted it was overwhelming, but you countered that by claiming it was actually endearing how much others cared for her; the next time she answered a call her smile seemed more relaxed.

It was around 5pm when you two made it back home, Jimin quickly hugged you from behind, not wasting any time.

“You’re always so clingy after a photoshoot” you teased.

“I don’t like the way they look at you, sue me” she huffed.

You laughed but quickly changed the subject, there was no need for you two to get into a fight or something along those lines, at least not today. “Don’t you want to call your friends and invite them over?”

She hummed, letting you go so you could face her. “Minjeong called to say they would be here for dinner time. Is that okay with you?”.

You felt the jealousy bubbling in your chest when Jimin mentioned the other girl, but you tried your best to control yourself. “Yuji, it’s your birthday, you’re in charge today”. A pause “actually scratch that, you’re in charge every day, but you know what I mean”.

Jimin laughed “Do you want to do something together before they get here?”.

“Actually yes, I have a surprise for you. Sit on the couch, I’ll be right back” you said as you began to make your way to the fridge.

“Are you going to dance for me?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows and laughing.

“In your dreams, buddy!” you yelled form the kitchen, you could hear her laughter growing louder at that.

“Hey! It’s my birthday! All of my dreams are supposed to come true today”. You rolled your eyes not wanting to answer to that. You made your way back to the living room with a cake box in your hands, you placed the box in the coffee table before addressing Jimin.

“I have to get something from my room, give me a second” you began to walk away, before turning to look at her with a raised eyebrow “don’t open the box while I’m gone”. Jimin laughed and agreed to wait for you to get back. You rushed to your room as quickly as possible, not trusting Jimin enough with the surprise.

As you made your way back, Jimin noticed an even bigger box in your arms this time. You placed the box next to the first one and turned to sit beside her on the couch. “Okay, all done. Go on, open the smaller box first”.

Jimin complied, reaching for the box. When she pulled the lid off, she couldn’t help the gasp that came out of her lips. “A dinosaur themed cake, really?!” she exclaimed, a goofy grin spreading across her face.

You laughed at her reaction, pointing your phone towards her so you could take a picture. “You’re a nerd like that, it was only fitting”.

“I love it, thank you so much for this, babe!” she beamed before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Open the next gift, I have a feeling you’re going to love it even more” you said, this time switching your phone to video which made Jimin a bit nervous.

Jimin reached for the next box with trembling hands, once she had it placed on her lap, she paused for a second. She picked at the skin around her fingernails as she tried to relax; you placed your hand over hers and offered her a soft smile, in that moment she knew there was no need to be nervous, it was just you after all, you had never given her any reason to doubt. Jimin carefully opened the box and immediately froze when she saw the contents of it.

“This has to be some sort of dream…” she said quietly, her attention completely zeroed in on the box in her lap.

“Happy birthday, Yuji” you said softly.

Inside the box sat the ten versions of the ‘I Got a Boy’ album by SNSD, aka Jimin’s favorite band.

“How did you manage to get these? They’re almost impossible to find, and you even got all nine members!” she exclaimed.

“I’ve been planning this for months now” you shrugged, a smirk playing at your lips “the Jessica version was incredibly hard to find, but it was definitely worth it”.

Jimin laughed, not really knowing what else to do. “This must have cost a fortune”.

“Not to brag but being a celebrity has some perks, you know?”

Jimin, with extreme care, placed the box back in the coffee table and reached over to pull you into a hug. “Breakfast in bed, the dinosaur cake, my favorite band’s album… why would you go through all this trouble for me?”.

“It’s pretty simple, you’re my absolute favorite person, Yuji” you smiled at her “I would do anything for you”. Jimin held you tighter, never wanting to let go.

“Come on” you called out to her after a few seconds “why don’t we go through your new albums together?”.

______________________

(“For the next scene, we should have y/n on a boat” a man suggested.

 “No, that’s not a good idea” Jimin countered.

“Oh really? And why not? It’s summer, it’s a popular concept”

“That might be true, but y/n has severe motion sickness, she won’t be able to film the music video properly”

“She… does?”

“Yes, one look at the boat and she will be throwing up nonstop. In fact, whenever she gets on a plane-”

“Jimin stop embarrassing me!”)

______________________

In the entirety of her time knowing you, Jimin had never felt this furious towards you. Not only had you been ignoring her, giving her the cold shoulder and just acting like a complete brat, she had caught you in the kitchen of your shared home standing way too close to Aeri for her liking.

She could still picture the horrifying scene every time she closed her eyes. You standing there, giggling and twirling your hair like some school girl while Aeri leaned in close to whisper something in your ear. Jimin saw red as soon as she walked into the kitchen and caught you two like that.

Jimin didn’t know what was worse, the fact that she got into a fight with one of her best friends, that you had locked yourself in your room after the incident and refused to talk to her, that she still couldn’t bring herself to tell you how she felt, or that she had heard Aeri asking for your number right before she left.

Maybe she should go out, find a way to distract herself from this chaos. She was about to get up from her bed when she heard a knock on her door followed by your voice. “Jimin? Can I come in?”.

Jimin considered her options, she wanted to scream, she wanted to ignore you the same way you had ignored her, but her heart ached for you; what she wanted most was to for you to tell her it was all a misunderstanding and you were all hers.

“Okay, come in” you two should fix this mess as soon as possible, you couldn’t go out to work if you refused to talk to each other. You shuffled into Jimin’s room with a conflicted expression on your face, you looked directly into Jimin’s eyes before deciding the floor was more interesting than her face. Jimin sighed, and when you turned to look at her again, she motioned for you to sit with her on the bed.

 “Will you please tell me what the hell that was?” Jimin started, a stern expression on her face. You gulped; you had never seen her this mad.

“Aeri and I were just talking” you said.

“Bullshit!” Jimin exclaimed “I know Aeri very well, but it was clear as day that she was flirting with you”.

“You really want to do this? Fine.” You said defiantly, “I admit we were flirting, but why does that bother you, huh?”.

“Why does that bother me? Because you’re mine, y/n! Excuse me for being bothered when someone else flirts with you!” Jimin raised her voice, but you weren’t going to back down.

“I’m yours, really?” you laughed incredulously “Are you sure not mixing me up with Minjeong?”

“Minjeong? What on earth are you talking about?!”.

“Whenever Minjeong is around you always treat me differently, as if you don’t want her to see anything, and before you try to brush me off again, I know for a fact you two used to date”.

“How do you know that?” but Jimin knew the answer before you said anything.

“Aeri told me” you shrugged “she told me all about how you were each other’s first love and how you’re probably going to start dating again”.

“Minjeong and I are just friends, we’re better off as friends” Jimin huffed.

“I see the way she looks at you, Jimin, I’m not stupid” you got up from the bed, wanting to put some distance between you.

“Oh yeah?” she stood up as well, now you were screaming at each other from opposite sides of the bed “and how does she look at me, huh? Please, enlighten me”.

“She looks at you the exact same way I do, Jimin!” you felt tears threatening to spill form your eyes, but you had to get your point across. “It’s the exact way I wish you would look at me!”.

“If what you say is true, then why the hell were you flirting with Aeri?!” Jimin wasn’t ready to let that one go just yet.

“I wanted your attention! I wanted you to look at me!” you cried out. “Every time Minjeong is around you act as if there’s a wall between us, but whenever it’s just the two of us you treat me like I’m the only one you want. The last time I tried to talk to you about it you called me dramatic, I didn’t know what else to do”.

“…You gave Aeri your phone number” Jimin mumbled.

“Jimin-”

“A-and what about Miyeon, huh?” it looked like Jimin still had some fight in her. “You're practically obsessed with her!”

“What?” you shrieked.

“I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, y/n. I love your laugh; I love the way you scrunch up your nose when you’re trying to concentrate. I love the way you hum along to whatever melody is stuck in your head when you cook; I love how you pretend to like sweets because you know I like them. I love the way you have to take a pill before getting into a car because your stomach is just weak like that, which brings me to how much I love the fact that you’re willing to ride rollercoasters with me even if it means you’ll be puking your guts out for the next hour. I could go on and on, listing every little thing I’ve come to love about you, but it would probably take me decades. I just… feel insecure sometimes. I see how everyone else looks at you, I see these celebrities throwing themselves at you and I just know they could give you a better life than whatever it is that I could offer; but know this one thing, baby, they will never love you the way I do”. Jimin finished her heartfelt speech with tears spilling out of her eyes.

“You stubborn fool” you sniffed “I want to be yours. I don’t care about anyone else; do you have any idea how many celebrities I have rejected because I’m waiting for you to actually ask me to be your girlfriend? Yuji, you’re the most important person in my life, I don’t want anyone else”.

Jimin looked at you as if she couldn’t believe what you were saying. “I thought you wouldn’t feel the same…”

“You’re joking, right?” you laughed despite the tears that were coming out of your eyes. “I honestly thought you were just fooling around”.

Jimin walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and lowered her voice, making you feel weak in the knees. “There’s still a lot of things we need to talk about, but right now?” she placed a kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Right now, I’m going to show you how much I love you”. She placed a kiss on your neck. “And I’m also going to remind you who you belong to”.

Jimin desperately pressed her lips against yours, you sighed melting into the kiss.

“I’ll make sure you never forget just how much I love you”.

______________________

("I just can’t believe how dense you were. I’ve been madly in love with you for ages.”

“You’re one to speak…”

“Excuse me? I wrote a whole album about how much I loved you.”

“Yes, but-”

“I have a song literally called ‘yjm’! You know, as in Yu Jimin?”

“Okay but-”

“We went to Paris for my birthday!”

“Yeah, as friends!”

“The city of love? Really, Jimin?”)

______________________

A/N: It's finally here! I've been working on this one for the longest time, but I never expected it to be this long haha

I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you have any suggestions regarding whatever just let me know.

[monarcascension]

a little sugar | s.m

summary: Living the life of an idol was hard. You couldn’t really do much without being in the public eye, and sometimes the pressure is just too much to bear. That’s how you met Song Mingi one faithful night three years ago. His absence in the recent years due to work, had left you with an unfulfilled void, but that would all change tonight.

pairings: mingi x idol fem!reader

tags: smoking, drugs, vulgar language, SMUT WARNING, MINORS DNI, oral sex, unprotected sex ♡

word count : 4.9K

You had never gone this long without sex.

Well, maybe prior to your debut. Physical contact or contact at all with any male that wasn’t part of your group’s initial staff was strictly off limits as trainees. It was more of a mandate than a rule— rules are meant to be broken, whereas if you break a mandate.. well. That’s your job out the window. You had been in the industry for six years now, your group was fairing well amongst your competitors and you were now running your victory lap through the streets of South Korea after a more than successful comeback. However, you were only missing one thing that made all of your success in the past worth it.

Him.

He had just finished wrapping up the first leg of his four month tour, only to return again early this year. Since you had an album to complete and a comeback setting on the horizon, you didn’t have much time for boys anyway. But you couldn’t lie, you missed him. He was probably the only male, outside of your laundry list of wreckage, that you actually had a soft spot for. He was sweet in a kind, and goofy way. He made you laugh even when you weren’t feeling your best, and always made sure you were well taken care of when you were together.

In many ways, it reminded you of the moment you met him three years ago that started this whole thing in the first place. A broken girl meets a broken boy in need of affirmation. One too many drinks led to a slip up that lasted the entire summer and shouldn’t have meant as much to you as it did.

Since you started sneaking around outside the company and had your bachelorette-style fun, pretending to not know the many men you slept with in public - if you happened to run into each other- was easy.

But having to stand in rooms with Mingi amongst your other idol coleagues and act like you didn’t want him to take you then and there was the hardest thing you ever had to do.

You kind of felt pathetic waiting around for him all these months. You could have had sex with anybody at that time, but you always waited for him.

It was torture. Damn you Song Mingi.

That would all change tonight, though. Mingi had finally returned to Korea and was in town for his Anchor in Seoul tour. He had texted you earlier and requested to see you after, saying that he would come and get you from the usual meeting place in the next hour. Hearing from him after so much time had passed brought a smile to your face. You felt like a high schooler with a crush, if you could even call it that. Hell, you didn’t even know if you loved him, he just made you feel good and filled a void better than any other man had over the years. You assumed that you felt something for him if you were this excited to receive a simple text message from him.

Like you said, pathetic.

Having feelings just weren’t your strong suit because the only thing they’re good for is getting you hurt.

You sat tucked away in your private studio. Your feet kicked up on the table in front of you as you scrolled aimlessly on your phone. You checked through your social media, seeing all of your fans commenting on your photos, especially the ones you took with your members and equally your best friends. Soo Jin, Yeong Si, Hei Na, and Ry. The five of you were as close as anyone could possibly be considering you spent the last eight years of your lives together, you were more like sisters than friends.

Which is why you felt bad lying to them even now.

When you and Mingi frequently saw each other in the past, you had to jump through countless hoops just to keep it secret. You would deliberately hold back details of your location from your group as well as staff—paying your security detail to withhold telling them anything if they were to ask. You made sure to take every precaution necessary to make sure they didn’t know or ever found out: concealing text messages and phone conversations and giving them the bullshit excuses as to why you couldn’t hang out for dinner. It was better that they didn’t know about your little escapades. It made things easier for you as the leader. You had to keep a standard in the group and you never wanted them to follow in your footsteps.

Keeping your “relationship” with Mingi under lock and key was the only advantage that you had on the public. It was the one secret in your life that you kept close to your chest and it stayed completely between the two of you. Your secrecy made it special, which meant no one else could invade it and ruin it all for you.

Checking the time on your phone, you decided to start getting ready to meet him. The concert was close to ending, which meant you had roughly thirty minutes to be ready since the drive from the arena wasn’t that long from the center of Seoul where you stayed. Good thing was that you had no prior engagements, so you didn’t have to alert your security to your leaving. Since you would be alone in this, you had to be discreet or your career would be as good as done.

Going to your groups’ message thread on KKT, you sent a quick message to them for your cover. Simply telling them that you would be working for the rest of the night and would be coming up to the apartments later in the night and not to wait up for you. Most of your members answered within seconds— Soo Jin told you to stop working so hard and to make sure you got rest as soon as you were finished. Yeong Si teased you about eating the last Pokémon bread in the cabinet knowing it was your favorite. Hei Na and Ry didn’t answer, which means they could be sleeping as they usually did or watching a drama. Either or was good for you.

You responded back to them with a cute emoticon, promising them that you’ll do well and return home soon. Quickly wishing a good nights’ sleep. The action was customary as you usually had conversations like this, so they would not think anything of it nor come looking for you. Which is exactly what you wanted.

Now all that was left was sneaking out. You were pretty much dressed already, wearing a strapless black crop top and a thigh length skirt to match. You grabbed your purse and stood up from your chair to fix yourself up in the bathroom connected to the studio office.

You pulled half of your hair up into a split ponytail, letting the rest drape over your shoulders. You lightly fixed your makeup to liven up your visibly exhausted face, adding lipstick, fresh eyeliner and mascara. You took some of your favorite roll on perfume and applied it to your wrists before rubbing it across the rest of your body, specifically in your neck and chest areas.

A soft chime from your phone alerted you. You walked hastily into the other room and pulled the device off of the table to read what message expanded across the lock screen.

송민기 -

Ended the show on time. Heading your way soon.

Don’t forget our spot.

If he was heading your way now, you only had about twenty minutes or so to get to your meeting spot. Walking there would take way more time, so you had no other option but to take a taxi. It wasn’t the most inconspicuous route of travel, but they usually tended to mind their business as long as you paid well and didn’t bring attention to yourself. So you had to act fast, flagging down a driver around this time would be a lot more difficult.

So, you didn’t waste anymore time. You gathered your things, shut down the control center to the booth and walked out of the room, making sure you checked your surroundings thoroughly. You were lucky that you had your studio built on the first floor, which meant that you could easily make your way out. Since it was late at night, most of the employees in the building had gone home by now, leaving probably the general security and a few janitors.

Before stepping out into the hall, you fiddled into your purse pulling out the shades that you kept with you just in case and put them on. You walked through the hall and into the main lobby of the building until you reached the front doors. You weren’t so much worried about the people inside, although you didn’t want to be seen by them either, you had to be cautious of the people outside. If even one person recognized you, you would make front news on every gossip page in the country.

However, as you hit the brisk night air. The darkness concealed you enough to get you as far away from the building as possible to catch a taxi. The sidewalks weren’t too filled with people, but being in Seoul, there was always someone somewhere. You kept your pace steady, not to seem too urgent and stood just at the edge of the sidewalk to get a better view of the road. Once you spotted a taxi, you immediately raised your hand and waved vigorously, hoping to catch his attention. Thankfully, the driver saw you in just enough time and pulled over to your side. You quickly opened the backseat of the car door and slid inside.

“Where to?” He asked flatly.

“Jung-Gu please. Buruttrak.”

“Pretty late for a lady to be going to that area alone. Will you need a ride back?”

You were glad you were wearing glasses to hide how strongly you rolled your eyes. “Not necessary. Just meeting a friend. Thank you though.”

He didn’t ask anymore questions and only nodded, pulling off into the rest of the traffic. You shot Mingi a text and told him you were on your way, hoping that the drive went quicker than it was anticipated to.

Thanks to the medium-light traffic, you made it to Jung-Gu in just under thirty minutes. The strip that was usually filled with people and bright lights had now dimmed as shopkeepers were starting to shut down for the night. The taxi stopped in front of the Buruttrak CD store, where you and Mingi had first met three years ago. You paid the driver handsomely for the long ride and thanked him for his service. You stepped out of the taxi and looked around as he pulled away, leaving you alone again.

No matter how many times you frequented this location, it always made you feel nostalgic. As a kid you would come here with your mom and pick out CD’s of your favorite artists to listen to for hours on end. Only to return ten years later and run into the man who changed everything for you. You stared into the window of the store, seeing the shelves still in the same spot they had always been, filled to the brim with the most modern albums from new artists like yourself. Who would have ever thought this is where you would have ended up in your life.

“You’re not getting all sentimental on me tonight are you?” A deep voice exclaimed from behind you.

You were forcefully pulled from your daydreaming, turning around quickly to locate where the voice came from, only to see the sly smirk accompanying the sharp features of Song Mingi, who was hanging slightly outside of the backseat window. A bright grin stumbled onto your face.

“That’s more your thing than mine.” You teased, giddiness present in your stride as you started towards the car, pulling your glasses free from your face.

Mingi popped open the back door of the black SUV, and reached his hand out to you to help you inside. You took his hand and stepped up into the platform vehicle, shutting the door behind you which concealed the both of you in darkness. The car moved instantly, barely giving you time to settle in your seat, which sent you almost falling over him. Thankful for his quickness, he kept you steady, holding on to your side as well as your arm to ensure you did not fall.

Your closeness to him brought back old memories almost instantaneously— like you had opened a time capsule from your school days.

“You okay?” He asked softly.

“More than okay.” You beamed in his direction and without even thinking you pulled him into a kiss.

Your hands cupped around his face, while his palms found purchase on your backside— gently caressing the exposed skin underneath your crop top. Mingi’s lips were just as soft as you remembered them, silky and plump; warping into the perfect comfort around your own. Your breaths intermingled with the other as he split your lips with his tongue, snaking it into your mouth. The embrace alone felt like the sweetest ecstasy. The void that his absence left inside of you, slowly being filled the deeper you kissed him.

Mingi’s free hand found the nape of your neck, his

digits slipping into your thick, dark hair and sinking you further into the embrace. His thumb brushed gently across your cheek and you were like putty in his hands. The tender feeling mixed with the passion of the moment made you giggle against his lips. You could do this for hours alone and be satisfied. Although, after months of not having him, there was much more on your mind.

Slowing down your pace, your kisses were filled less with hunger and more with a burning sense of longing— transforming into soft, trickling pecks. Mingi’s lips started to trail off of their original path, pressing against your cheek, your jaw, until finally clinging to your neck. You bit down on your lip, living for the feeling of his warm, pillowy, pair against your flesh. That part of you having been untouched for so long, it was almost ticklish making you chuckle softly against him.

“It’s nice to see you too.” You chimed happily.

Mingi groaned softly against your neck before finally coming up to face you again and sighed. “God, I missed that smell…I missed you.”

“I know. You didn’t have much of a choice anyway.” You adjusted yourself in your seat, finding your purse that slipped off during the intensity of your makeout session and dug through it.

“Did you brin-“

Before he got the words out, you pulled out a small baggie filled with pre-rolled blunts. “Never forget ‘em.”

“That’s my girl.” He cooed, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. One hand resting against your thigh, and gently brushing over your skin.

“Did you bring that candy I asked for?” You inquired.

Mingi reached into the pocket of his gray sweatpants, a loud crackling sound coming from it as he pulled it out and handed it to you. “Couldn’t forget. You kept bothering me about it.”

You squealed excitedly as you read the packaging of the Fruit By The Foot. It was the one candy that was only sold in certain parts of Korea and since he was closest to the one location that had it, you just had to get some. And you would need it especially when it came down to smoking. The car had just hit the inner city. Neon lights from outside shined into the vehicle and illuminated both of your faces. You pulled one of the joints out of the bag along with the lighter and handed it over to Mingi, while you partook in the snack that he brought you, enjoying the familiar mixture of berry and apple that satisfied your tastebuds.

“You’ve gotten even prettier since I’ve been gone.” He said, moving a loose strand of hair out of your face. “Remind me not to go that long without seeing you again.”

Your face flushed with color, thankfully not that he could see due to the dim light around you. You smiled sweetly at him, swallowing, before speaking. “Well, maybe if you didn’t go on eighteen tours in a year you could see me more often.”

Mingi chuckled, flicking his tongue against his exposed fang. “Ouch. Damn, well if it was up to me, I would have been here with you. You know how it is with work.”

“Sadly, you weren’t.”

He placed the blunt in his mouth and leaned over towards you for you to light it. The metal beacon popped open with a click; the flame flickered and ignited against the paper, filling your nostrils with that signature pungent scent. You were happy that this particular SUV had a partition section and it was concealed to the driver, leaving the two of you to fully enjoy yourselves without distractions and or consequences.

Mingi held the joint between his thumb and pointer finger, inhaling its contents deeply as the taste simmered in his throat until he puffed out a thick cloud of smoke that curled up into the ceiling of the truck. You snuggled up closer to him, watching him as he did so and fuck, was it the hottest thing ever. You hadn’t even realized that your lips had slightly parted in sheer awe at how sexy he looked.

He turned to face you, catching you staring. He chuckled lowly to himself and blew a stream of what he inhaled into your mouth, curling into a thick plume that you gladly took in. “So you’re saying you missed me?”

You rolled your eyes and took a hit of the joint, sucking in as much of it as you could — pushing the vaporized smoke into the air through pursed lips. “Would I have come all the way out here if I didn’t?”

“I’d rather hear you say it.” He fixed his attention towards you. The look on his face was hard to describe, bordering on him merely waiting for you to say what he wanted to hear, but you just couldn’t work up the words.

You sighed, taking another hit of the joint before letting him have his turn, placing the blunt in his mouth and holding it for him as he kept both of his eyes planted on you, while he inhaled the compelling flavor.

“Saying it is one thing, ..” You whispered to him, placing your hand on his stomach. “but showing you is another.”

You let your fingers slide down his abdomen, lightly caressing over the band of his pants. Looking back towards him to see the response on his face. He stared at you with thirsty, yet intrigued eyes. He quickly blew out the smoke and used the ashtray on his side of the door to ash out the blunt. The high was starting to kick into your system and your mind was going a little fuzzy, which meant all of your sensations were starting to heighten, especially the ones down below. You wanted him badly before, but you wanted him even more now and you felt that he was the same way.

“Is that right? What did you have in mind?” He was playing coy, but he knew exactly what was whirring in that head of yours.

That’s when an idea popped into your head. You giggled excitedly, reaching back to grab that same concealed bag of candy that he brought you. “Something a little more fun.”

He kissed you again. Tender, but wildly all at the same time. Your hand slipped inside the hem of his pants and you rubbed your palm across his girth— your hand just barely wrapping around the full width of him. He growled inside your mouth, his dick twitched in your hands alone, and you could tell he was just as horny and needy as you were.

Not wanting to waste the time you had, you started to push off his sweatpants and he assisted you, pulling his hips off of the car seat so that they would slip down easier, still never breaking the kiss you two shared until you pulled away. His length stood at full attention. The veins blanketing his shaft pulsed with the blood that raised his desire. The sight of him made your pussy tingle. Your tongue was eager to taste him after so long.

You looked back over to him and smiled. “Just relax.”

He was confused at your words, but interested and let you continue. Fully unwrapping the coil of candy from its packaging, you stretched it out a bit until you got a sizable length of it, tearing the white strip beneath it and wrapping it around the base of Mingi’s shaft. Once it was attached, you tore off what you didn’t want to use and put it to the side for you to get to work.

You re-positioned yourself, leaning the bottom half of your body off the seat while your top half laid across Mingi’s lap. You gripped onto him, hovering your mouth just above his tip and gathered what saliva you could muster, letting it drip down and coat his member in your fluids. He gave you a groan of approval, moving a piece of your hair out of the way so that he could watch you take him in full.

You opened your mouth and started lowering yourself onto him, the warmth of your breath sliding over his sensitive skin causing his own to hitch in his throat. Latching your lips around his thickness you started working his pole like no time had passed at all. The flavor of his dick mixing with the added taste of the fruit candy you wrapped around him, the taste swirling in your mouth while you sucked him off.

Mingi’s thunderous moans emanated from above you. His exasperated sighs and hollow groans filled the back of the car more than the smoke billowing over your heads. It was a beautiful sound, one you missed more than you should have admitted.

“Fuck, I love how you look with your lips wrapped around me.” He spoke. The deep tone of his voice drove you insane. He placed his hand on your head, helping guide you down his inches.

Tasting him was one of your favorite pastimes. You thrived in his flavor, twisting and turning your head in an effort to tackle every curve of his pulsating length. Mingi’s drawn out exhausts of pleasure were enough encouragement to keep you going.

You swallowed him almost completely, letting your tongue engulf his rod, stimulating his nerves with the slippery nature of your pink instrument. You intently kept your eyes plastered on him, watching his face churn at the pleasure he was receiving from the plush velvet of your mouth. It turned you on to see how delighted and eager Mingi was to see you bob your head down lovingly on his thickness, slobbering and sucking up a percentage of the saliva you used to sloppily slurp him up with. Your main goal was to make sure that he was pleased—not giving him a moment of mercy to ensure that both of their desires were fulfilled.

“Shit, that feels so good.” He grumbled under a soft breath and laughed to himself. “You’re so fucking nasty.”

You took the bulk of him down to the base of his dick before coming back up again for a breath; a thick string followed in the wake of the action as she slid her tongue down to his balls, fondling him with a soft suction.

“You taste so good..” You whispered softly to him, happy with the reactions he was giving you.

“Mmm, keep going baby...” Mingi was starting to buckle under your control. His chest rose and fell quickly and his abdomen started to tighten. He was getting close.

Mingi laid his head back and gritted his teeth, rubbing the palm of his hand down his face. “You suck this dick so good babygirl.”

Taking him in your mouth again, you slushed him around using the inside of your cheeks to squeeze him tightly pushing the sides of his pole against the wet cushion. The fruit candy you wrapped around him was dissolving more as you licked off layer after layer leaving only one band left to focus on. You took every bit of him that you could. The tip of his dick hitting against the back of your throat the lower you went. The sloppy, wet sounds filled your ears.

“Fuck…I’m gonna cum..” he roared. His breathy pants quickened. His moans picked up in frequency as your tongue flicked over his shaft relentlessly.

Mingi applied light pressure to the back of your head, and started grinding his hips into your throat from below, riding out the crescendo of his orgasm until he burst. His moan was thick and raspy, bordering on insanity as he came down your throat and onto your tongue. You winced at the impact of the clumpy, warm liquid sliding down your pipe, but took it all without hesitation.

With his head rested against the seat in a desperate attempt to catch his breath, he relinquished his hold on you. You sat up and coughed a little, swallowing the rest of his cum and wiping your mouth. You looked down to see your work and the candy had completely dissolved, but he was still rock hard.

Using what strength he had left, he wrapped a full arm around your body and pulled you up into his lap. “You had your way, now it’s my turn.”

You laughed a little, bringing your hand up to his head and gently caressing his hair. “You’re so needy, you know that?”

“Have you met you?” He teases. “I have to leave you with something to remember me.”

You both grinned at each other.

“Why would I ever forget you?” You kissed him softly, not as involved as before, but still showing your affection towards him.

Mingi caressed your thighs, working his hands up inside your skirt and snaking them down to your ass — grabbing a handful. He hooked his finger inside your panties and pulled them off to the side, wrapping his hand around his mass and positioning it at your entrance. Rubbing the tip of himself against your lips, you both moaned softly.

“Let me take care of you..” He mused, slowly sticking himself into your luxurious center. You lowered your hips down onto him, and settled yourself fully into his lap.

The feeling of him slipping inside of you again was euphoric in its own right. It was like a piece of you had been missing, but had finally reconnected with you. He holds on to your hips and slowly guides you up and down his shaft, letting you readjust to his size. Licking over his lips he stares at you with a look you hadn’t seen on him since that night three years ago. Your first night together. He looked at you like you were the only girl in the world. It shook you. You badly wanted to avert your gaze, but you just couldn’t look away. His eyes were so inviting, so honest, yet lustful and wanting. Lovingly. You could tell Mingi did not rush this moment and neither did you. You both cherished the time you spent together, and this was no different.

Your pleasured moans careened through the air beautifully, mingling with the smoke that drifted around the boxed-in backseat. You took him well, finding a steady bouncing pace that would get you both to your destination. Mingi held you against him, one hand holding your backside while the other moved into your hair whilst you grinded against him. Your hands were placed on the leather seats on either side of his head, your nails clawing at the fabric and helping you maintain your balance for a moment, before you lost strength in that effort— cupping his face into your palms once more.

It was the softest you had ever been in a moment like this. So sincere. You wanted nothing more from him but to just feel him ravaging every part of you with what time you had to left with each other. You rocked against him dutifully, your slick juices drowning his member and triggering the prettiest moans you had ever heard come from a man.

He stuffed you full of everything that he had to give, letting himself do a majority of the work while you rode him, meeting him half way until you met your end.

You both breathed heavily like you had just come from running a marathon. Nearing the tip of your long-awaited climax.

“Cum with me..” You beckoned, brushing the tip of your thumbs against his bottom lip.

“Fuuuuck- I’m cumming..” Mingi’s brow stitched at the words, pressing together the closer he got to bursting.

He started picking up his pace, fucking you like he had lost all of his remaining sense. You nodded your head, holding his face steady in your hands in attempts to soothe him. Your moans blended together in harmony and with a final blow, you held him close and released onto him as he did in you.

You both caught your breath. Fully emptying yourselves together, sticky with sweat and other fluids combined.

With a sharp breath, you collapsed into him, laying your head in the crook of his neck. You opened your mouth to speak—your words were shaky, but with a soft sigh you finally managed to collect the words.

“I missed you, Mingi.”

You could hear the smile forming in his voice as he replied. “I know.”

[aeolianblues]

Thinking about Fontaines D.C. again. They’re quite different from any other band of the 2020s that I can think of, somehow they’re simultaneously both completely of this decade in their themes, context and sound, and still have something almost old-fashioned, maybe even timeless about them.

Like they’ve got that sound, depth and emotional complexity that makes people believe there’s something more to them, they’re no flash in the pan, they aren’t chasing any trends or whatever. And still, their post punk sound was so placeably 2018-2022 that you’d listen to it and you have to say yep, these lads came up in the wake of bands like IDLES at the same time as bands like Shame, very 2019.

And you never think, ‘oh I wonder what happened to them, I haven’t heard from them in a while,’ despite the fact that they are basically not active at all on social media. They have the band IG and each member too, but half of them last posted in like 2022 once. They aren’t doing any ‘trends’ or challenges or too many behind the scenes stuff— nothing. It feels almost like a classic band, like someone from the 90s or for the last time, the 00s.

And yet they feel modern, maybe it’s just that they speak to pretty modern fears and anxieties. I don’t know. But then, they’re also still doing the band grind. They’re not famous for anything except their music. No gimmicks, no collabs, they’ve never had a viral hit. People buy their whole albums because nothing they do misses. They sell more on vinyl than some of artists who are much bigger than them and monopolise the record pressing plants (coughs and dies).

Their best known songs are widely known because of fantastic televised festival performances in 2019 and 2022 (Boys In The Better Land, R+L 2019, R+L 2022 when they had that 18 y/o fan join them on guitar; Big Shot with the strings and piano and I Love You, Glasto 2022). Nothing about that is modern, and yet here they are. I couldn’t really see them coming up in another age, not because of the music but the context and themes.

I know, some of their songs sound like they could’ve been observational poems by Keats, Yeats, modern ones like MacGowan. Grian has said he’s still drawn to nature poetry despite being a city boy, but you listen to something like Oh Such A Spring and tell me he couldn’t write an ode to a landscape. Songs like I Love You, the album Skinty Fia in it’s whole. I personally nearly cried hearing it the first time, because as much as musicians have often written about being misfits, about not fitting in, it wasn’t very often that you’d hear someone explicitly framing that from the theme of an immigrant, of someone away from home, neither any longer a part of their home place but noticeably a stranger in the new. About having his Irishness almost heightened by not being in Ireland anymore. All of that. Oddly for the times, and very relevant. Songs like Bloomsday as well. Going back home and realising why you left in the first place. In some ways, Fontaines could only be a band of the now. And yet, there’s been something so traditional about their ascent.

Got big off the back of solid songwriting, they come off as clear-eyed romantics, still with a bit of the mystery and distance afforded to a rockstar of the past, yet not rockstars because they’re such ordinary people. The everyday poets, with a bit of mysticism about them. Amongst many of the bands that have got big in the last four years, they’re the only ones who are still truly independent, all the rest are on Island (UMG subsidiary). They have, if anything, gone more independent now: they’ve moved from Partisan to XL Recordings, both independent labels, and XL is part of the Beggars Group, perhaps one of the largest to still remain completely independent. At this stage in their career: chart topping albums, huge physical sales, a Grammy nomination, Irish Choice Prize nom and a BRIT win, surely if they wanted to, they could easily get on any of the majors. They could bypass the subs and go directly to like, Warner. They’d definitely get signed if they wanted. They’ve chosen to remain independent, admirably.

In some way, it adds to the appeal of the band. There’s a bit of the old band charm to them. I want to be careful not to over-romanticise or turn to folklore a group of very real human beings who have indicated at times that they are perhaps not very comfortable being put up on a pedestal (they are right), and I respect and honour that notion. But there’s certainly something special about this band. And perhaps Starburster has only reignited my admiration for this band, man they’re good.

[allnightlongzine]

“How I Discovered My Chemical Romance 15 Years After the Rest of the World”

May 25, 2020 | Scott Raymer | concertcrap.com

To obsess or not to obsess.  That is the question.  My apologies to Shakespeare. I tend to lack focus in many aspects of my life.  Bouncing back and forth between learning a foreign language, playing guitar, photography, and many other endeavors. However, when it comes to music I can become obsessed and fixated on a single artist, song, or album.  I mostly ignore radio and have a habit of listening to a single artist for months or sometimes years while ignoring others.  I have gone from the Beatles to Olivia Newton-John to Duran Duran to Green Day to Amy Grant to Sum 41 to the Sick Puppies back to Green Day.  The result is that I miss out on a lot of great music unless I manage to catch something on TV, due to not paying attention.

Sometimes it can take me years to discover a band.  This happened recently.  Around six months ago I started seeing all this chatter on Facebook about this band called My Chemical Romance.  My Chemical Who? The name triggered some deep memories making me think that maybe I had heard the name before. A quick search of Apple Music displayed a long list of songs by the band. The first song on the list was “Welcome to The Black Parade”. I clicked on the song title and began listening to see why people were so excited about this band.  It started off with a slow piano intro, followed by some mellow vocals by Gerard Way, which gradually increased in intensity.  I was rapidly losing interest and the finger was just getting ready to swipe the app closed when at 1:48 into the song, Ray Toro and Frank Iero’s guitars kicked in. My finger instantly pulled away from my phone.  I started listening intently and by the time Way got to “And through it all, the rise and fall, The Bodies in the streets” I was hooked.

Moving down the list brought songs like “Teenagers”, “Helena”, and “I’m Not OK”.  Even though I am long past my teenage years and missed the Emo movement by a couple of decades, these are all songs that I can still relate to and which take me back to life as a depressed, harassed, bullied, suicidal tempted teenager.  Some of us never truly become OK. When I got to “Famous Last Words”, I was totally blown away and my obsession began.

One of the things I find interesting about the great bands is how they transform and evolve. I saw this in both of my favorite bands, the Beatles and Green Day.  The Beatles first US album Meet The Beatles was raw and packed full of energy, but with musicianship which was somewhat lackluster. As they progressed from album to album, you could hear the music getting more and more polished; the lyrics getting more complex; culminating in their concept album Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Green Day displayed a similar evolution going from Kerplunk to Dookie to their rock opera American Idiot, with Billie Joe Armstrong transforming his guitar abilities all along the way.

I feel My Chemical Romance’s evolution was more dramatic than either The Beatles or Green Day.  It’s relatively easy to classify both the latter band’s music without much debate.  However, there is no consensus on My Chemical Romance.  Each of their four studio albums, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, The Black Parade, and Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys are each unique and show Way and the band transitioning from punk to emo/post-hardcore to pop-punk with a half-dozen other genres thrown in the mix.  It was as if the band purposely hit the reset button attempting to reinvent themselves with each album.

Not only did the band reinvent themselves with their music, but also with their look.  Way changed his appearance throughout the band’s dash through the first decade of the new millennium.   Going from a dark emo goth in Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, to a Sgt Pepperish platinum blonde look for The Black Parade, to pop punkish red hair for Danger Days.  This change symbolizes what I admire most about the band; a constant changing flux of identity. It is hard to get bored with a band that is always striving to do something different. A band not content with where they are now but being in constant pursuit of what they can become.

It’s been seven years since we last saw the band.  I can’t wait to see want the next evolution will bring.  This is no longer a band of restless youths.  It is a band now composed of husbands and fathers, hitting middle age in a new decade.  How will this influence the direction of the music?  We will have to wait and see.  All I know is that of my litany of musical obsessions, this one may be the hardest one to overcome. Ten years from now I may still be listening to the band, looking back, and wondering what happened in the rest of the music world.

[suguruslut]

Going to a concert

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

<<< 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪🐉| 𝙏𝙤𝙧𝙖🐅| 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙖🐕 >>>

Gwen’s note: i saw mcr and angele in concert this year...the only thing missing was a househusband to hold my snacks...

🐉𝒯𝒶𝓉𝓈𝓊🍳

--as we know, Tatsu is really into rap music, so when you win tickets to see Agust D in concert, Tatsu flips his shit. dude won’t stop talking about it for all the months leading up to the concert. he actually makes Goda cry one time out of jealousy

--once the night arrives, Tatsu is over prepared, waiting outside the arena a good four hours before the show starts; nobody dared cut in front of you guys, and he was one of the first in line for merch, grinning proudly at your matching t-shirts

--he somehow got all his snacks and water bottles past security?? don’t ask how, he’ll never tell

--once you get in, Tatsu’s leading the way through the crowd with a gentle grip on your hand, making you drink water and sit at least for a few minutes since you’ll be standing and jumping the entire concert. the place is packed, but he assures you there’s no hitmen nearby

--definitely tears up when Agust D first comes out, then REALLY gets into it all while staying within concert etiquette. he sings all the lyrics, which he knows by heart, and it makes you smile to see him so happy and inspired

--dedicates each song to you, even though he didn’t write them; the only time this makes you cry is when he says it before AMYGDALA, his favorite off Agust D’s new album. Tatsu says it reminds him of how bad things were before meeting you, but now that you’re in it together, life and its choices seem a lot less difficult

-- immediately following the show and still riding the concert high... “I bet I can make my own mixtape! I found some great ideas on Pinterest...whattya think of that, Y/N?!”

🐅𝒯𝑜𝓇𝒶𝒿𝒾𝓇𝑜🍰

--Tora strikes me as a heavy metal kind of guy, always head banging and screaming his heart out whilst driving his kawaii crepe truck. when you surprise him with tickets to Beast in Black, he almost crushes your back with how tightly he hugs you

--listens to all their albums the week leading up to the concert, nonstop repeat so he knows all the words to every single song. luckily you love him, so you find it endearing to listen to him scream as loud as he can for most of the day. and pretend he knows how to play electric guitar

--doesn’t want to arrive early bcz that’s “uncool,” so you guys show up just as the concert is starting, Tora shoving his way through the crowd with you using him as a shield

-- “Outta the way, scrubs! A true fan is coming through!”

--literally pushes his way right up to the stage. you won’t be able to hear tomorrow, but how can you care about that when you see Tora’s face light up upon the band entering?

--he really did learn all the lyrics, screaming and singing with a grin on his face as he keeps one arm around you at all times, pumping his other fist in time with the music; you can’t believe how carefree Tora is acting, thinking you should bring him to heavy metal concerts more often

--One Night In Tokyo is his absolute favorite song, but he won’t admit to shedding tears after hearing it live. well, maybe just to you, because you got it on video for blackmail material

--for sure had you take a million pictures of him at the concert so he can brag to his friends (Tatsu) and frame some for your apartment

🐕ℳ𝒶𝓈𝒶🥡

--I can see Masa being very into trendy music, especially Jpop and Kpop. when he hears Band Maid is in town, he blows his last paycheck on two tickets; imagine his shock when you say you’ve never heard any of their songs

--by the time the concert comes around, let’s just say you now know every single song from each album, thanks to Masa overloading you with fandom info. you know each member, their life history, favorite foods, iconic looks, etc. etc. your husband is a major BM nerd, okay?

-- “I can’t believe you’ve never listened to them before! Here’s their first album, which I think was the third best out of all their albums, and here’s a list of the biggest venues they’ve played at, and...”

--should’ve put that boy on a leash...Masa gets lost at the venue at least five different times, always in search of the nearest bathroom and ending up in creepy hallways and surrounded by strangers

--they literally call your name over the speakers to come get him, lmao. once you clip him to your belt the concert starts, and the second the girls step on stage, Masa bursts into tears and squeals, though you’re not sure if it’s because he’s excited for the music or bcz they’re all wearing maid outfits...

--I think Masa would have a great singing voice, so it’s actually pleasant to hear him sing along with the band. you guys had pretty good seats, and Masa was taking endless pics and videos of both Band Maid and you two. before the concert was even over he set his wallpaper as one of your cheerful selfies, concert lights streaming over your faces

--dumbass didn’t even realize he bought backstage passes, and his favorite member, Misa (bcz her name is similar to his), actually signs his t-shirt for him, prompting him to pass out in your arms

--he’s just as elated when he wakes up as he was when he passed out, and will probably never stop talking about the time you two went to a Band Maid concert together

                                                        🐉 🐅 🐕

[myloveforhergoeson]

send me a number 1-100 for a little tasw blurb!!

for @icegirl2772 - song 7: funeral grey by waterparks :)

tw: mentions underage smoking + drinking

Big Time Rush's first album wrap party was supposed to be a blast... At least that's what Gustavo and Kelly had promised them before throwing one of the lamest get-togethers the boys had ever been to.

Though discouraging, it was nothing the boys couldn't handle. With a brilliant, yet hair-brained, scheme, they managed to convince their boss to end the party at Rocque Records for the other executives at the label earlier than he had planned. By the time the entire building was clear, the four managed to transform the studio floor into a club-type atmosphere that suited their needs far better.

Throwing a party in Los Angeles was never a challenge. All the boys had to do was invite every contact on their phone and tell them to bring a plus one, and in no time, the floor was packed to the brim with friends and strangers, dancing the night away.

Sure, Gustavo would probably kill them in the morning, but that was the last thing on James' mind as he grabbed a red cup from someone he thought might live on the same floor as him at the Palm Woods and downed it with a large gulp. A few more of those and he wouldn't be worrying about their boss at all.

As he pushed through a crowd of people who had turned the lounge into a second dance floor, he searched the sea of faces to try and find his bandmates. It was their party anyway, he should probably spend some of the time there with them, instead of trying to find a cute person to pull into the supply closet and fool around with.

It was a tough decision, maybe even tougher than finding three people somewhere on the floor of Rocque Records, and he took another drink from a girl who was definitely in his class at the Palm Woods school to help him think.

Whatever was in this cup was far better than the last, so he stopped in his tracks and savored his first few sips leading him to spot Kendall, Carlos, and Logan hugging the wall of the long hallway leading to the elevator.

Ugh, so lame... The boy thought, taking another sip as he pushed past even more people to get to his friends. Each of them took turns glancing at the elevator as they talked to each other, something too loud to hear over the blasting music, which told him they were still waiting for people to arrive. This is a party, no time for standing around!

Logan startled when James placed a hand on his shoulder, causing a few drops of the drink he was slowly nursing to jump out of his cup and onto the dark carpet. "Jesus, dude! Way to scare a guy..."

"Come dance with me!" James called, needing to raise his voice over the insane noise level of the party in order to be even slightly understood. "Show off those moves Mr. X taught you!"

Playfully, he raised his arms above his head and wiggled his hips around to the beat of the pop tune coming over the speakers, watching as Kendall rolled his eyes and Carlos looked over to the elevator one more time.

"Nah..." His blond friend chimed in as he took a slow sip from his plastic Solo. "Waiting on someone way prettier than you to dance with."

The long-haired boy let out an offended scoff and was about to rip right into the band's front man when the elevator let out a soft ding and the doors opened to a small group of girls.

Camille, Jo, and Stephanie were laughing at something, and a new girl James didn't recognize was standing in the middle of them, a smug look on her face as she listened to her friends' voices ring out around her.

"Um... Who's that?" He asked openly, figuring one of the boys might know, but Carlos just shook his head. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of Stephanie.

As the helmet-wearer waved them over, he replied, "I don't know... Steph mentioned she just moved to town. Her dad's in a band or something."

James knew it was rude to stare, but there was something about her he just couldn't put his finger on as she trailed behind the other three, effortlessly sliding into conversation with the band and their girlfriends as if she had known them her entire life.

Besides the fact she was exactly his type, the first thing he noticed was the slight twang in her voice as she spoke, like she had spent a lot of time in the Southern United States. It clashed with his friends' Midwest accents, which she must have thought were cute as she scrunched her nose when Logan overannunciated his ohs. The second thing was a bit harder for him to understand; This new girl had quite strange taste in clothing.

They were in the middle of a Los Angeles summer, with one of the hottest heat waves the country had ever seen right around the corner. The dark Doc Martins adding about four more inches to her height looked incredibly heavy, and the skinny black jeans covering her legs must have been so suffocating, especially in such a crowded space. Either she didn't care or she pretended not to notice, tossing a lock of her long hair over her shoulder to show off the grey sweater adorning the top half of her body. It was baggy, but not too baggy, effortlessly sliding off the side of her right shoulder.

Taking another sip of his drink, James pretended not to notice the way her eyes sparkled under the low lights he and the band had hastily hung up or think about all the things he could do to the small patch of exposed skin around her neck, collarbone, and shoulder.

Maybe I've had just a bit too much... He thought as he raised the cup to his lips before thinking again and lowering it.

"What about you, pretty boy?"

The drawl of her words nearly sent his knees buckling; Too absorbed in his own little world to have been a part of the conversation the rest of the group had been having.

James blinked a few times, looking down at the newcomer who had asked him a question he had no clue what the answer to might be. "Hm?"

She blinked right back, reaching out and taking the cup from his hand. "All your other friends asked me a question so I suppose it's your turn now."

It was impossible to tear his eyes away from her as she brought the cup to her lips and took a small sip, winking right at him.

In a poorly disguised panic, his gaze flipped between his bandmates who weren't even trying to conceal their laughter. They knew better than anyone what it looked like when he got lost in his own thoughts, but none of them helped him out as the new girl awaited his response.

The boy felt his head begin to spin, be it from the sudden attention from the new girl he was trying to bask in or the cheap drinks he had been downing all night. "Um... What's your favorite color?"

Without a second thought, New Girl pointed to her waist before tugging on the fabric of her sweater. It reminded him of one of the shades his mom had picked out for the packaging of one of her cosmetic products from a few years back.

Funeral Grey...

Head still spinning, James felt himself stop breathing as she took another sip from his cup. There was a faint trace of her lipstick on the white rim, so he focused on that with a stupid giggle he wasn't able to contain.

That meant he was nervous, but he wasn't able to stop the next words from pouring out of his mouth, "That's not a color... That's a shade."

He watched as her jaw dropped - truly shocked by his words or feigning surprise to rile him up. Either way, he didn't think too much of it. If she looked that cute with wide eyes and puffing cheeks, he'd continue to correct her all night.

"Don't disagree with me!"

And just like that, she walked away, getting lost in the crowd of people surrounding them, celebrating the release of Big Time Rush's first album.

The focus of the party was supposed to be on them, but now, James had shifted all his attention to her.

Her... What's her name?

***

James knew it was a mistake to keep his eyes on her all night.

With a clouded mind, he did his best to keep track of everyone she talked to, every place of the studio she explored, each song she knew all the words to... Until he watched as she slipped into one of the conference rooms on the studio floor without any of her girlfriends.

Hot girl... Empty room... No distractions...

He physically shook the thought out of his head. It would be weird to follow her inside, right?

Yes! His brain told him.

No! His heart screamed.

So, he waited a few moments to see if she'd come back out and when she didn't he hesitantly made his way to the door.

If this was a knocking situation, he didn't really know, but with a shaking hand, he turned the sliver door knob and stepped into the room.

Embarrassingly, it took him a second to find her in the large space. Instead of sitting in one of the plush chairs or snooping around the presentation podium, she was pressed up against the large glass windows overlooking the city.

He thought it was strange at first until he felt a small rush of warm night air coupled with the smokey smell of tobacco from the cigarette she held between two of her fingers.

Lazily, she took a small drag, and he turned his focus from her lips to the fiery colors burning at the end of the paper. Exhaling, she blew the smoke straight out the window before saying, "I was beginning to wonder how long it'd take you to find me."

Once again, he wasn't able to think about his words as he pushed out a strained, "That shit is gonna kill you."

That hadn't been what he wanted to say at all. New Girl had practically told him point-blank she wanted to be alone with him and instead of a typical suave response, all he could do was reprimand her for smoking.

She kind of smiled, it was hard to tell in the low light, but he swore he saw her raise her hand and curl her front finger, beckoning him over to where she was standing.

James knew he walked over there as fast as humanly possible, but for a moment, he felt as light as the air he was breathing, like he had practically floated over to her.

One more hit, but this time, she took her free hand and balled it in the soft fabric of the t-shirt he wore.

At the same time, his breath hitched as he let her pull him down into her, closing his eyes and slightly tilting his head as he leaned in...

Only for her to blow the puff of smoke she had been holding right into his face.

Her kind of smile turned into a full-on grin once his eyes shot open, slightly coughing from the inhalation he hadn't been expecting.

"Well, now you're gonna die too."

The boy felt his heart skip a beat. Now she's teasing me back... I am so fucked.

"Tell me, what's a girl gotta do to get another drink around here?"

"Put out her cigarette, for one." James bit right back, still smelling the earthy, rich smoke curling in his nostrils. "But, if she says please it might buy her some more time to finish it while I get something for her."

That made sense, I think. He was a bit too buzzed to tell.

In front of him, the girl tilted her head in thought, hand still balled in his shirt.

When she had finally made her decision, she let him go as she looked up at him, batting her eyes a few times. "Get me another drink, James... Please? I might have a surprise for you when you get back."

He thought about leaning in and kissing her right then and there. Instead, all he could do was nod before making his way to the door as if he would obey her every command.

Just as he reached for the handle, he looked back at her, loving the way she still smiled at him, even as she went in for another drag.

How does she know my name?

A few seconds later, he realized he was at a party celebrating the release of his boy band's album... Of course, she knew his name.

That's not cocky... Right?

"Oh, um," He called out absentmindedly, not sure how to ask her the question lingering on his mind. "What's your-"

She didn't let him finish before she said, "Roxanne."

"Roxanne." James tested, languishing in the few moments the sounds rolled off his tongue.

Roxanne nodded, flicking the stray ashes accumulating on the paper through the window.

"Just hold on tight, baby, I'll be right back."

He left the room far too quickly after his comment to watch the way her cheeks reddened as she pinched out her cigarette.

Thank God we threw this party tonight.

[renrenlady]

Ranking Shaperaverse Songs from Worst to Best Within Their Album

First up:

24- Voodoopunk

Listen. I have listened to every single one of Paul’s albums. I’ve hunted each and every one down and listened to the ones I could get my grubby hands on. I’m very familiar with his work and his musical habits (he has a very particular set of trademarks ie: symbol crash to end a song, repetitive word/lyric use throughout albums to create a through line, etc) but one thing that just does not resonate, does not vibe with me are these very long winded instrumental songs interspersed with singing. I’m a huge lyric person, so I definitely have a bias and it’s not that the music itself is bad, but this song is always gonna be a skip for me. I’m just not gonna sit and listen to pretty much the same thing over and over again, although I would LOVE to see this performed live. I think it would be incredibly fun, but from a listening standpoint, there are much better songs on this album.

23- Edgar Builds a Business

There’s gotta be a worst and best, and unfortunately this lands on the former side of that scale. Despite me absolutely loving Kate coming in with the connective tissue, the central theme of the show (really, all of Paul’s shows if you think about it) “circles never stop themselves” it isn’t enough to get past the extremely repetitiveness of the song. One could make the argument that, because we are heading for a more industrious/business era it’s only natural for the song to be repetitive and maybe even a little boring. One could also argue that because Edgar is such a boring little evil incel bitch, perhaps he’s meant to have such a tedious song. Whatever the case may be, it has a lot of verses, lots of instrumental breaks and it usually also gets a skip, unless I’m listening for lore purposes. I have to admit that the second to last verse where he addresses the issue he has with Silof is my favorite part of the song, it really lets us peak into his head after the break up and is almost the epitome of his evil if not for the last verse/conversation he has with a recently divorced Fay over dinner. (Side note- I absolutely love the headcanon that Silof is Amelia’s father. I don’t know if that’s canon or been made canon, but it’s absolutely delicious and makes DoNA a complete circle with no loose ends.)

22- New Albion 3

The lesser out of the four. While it does tie up some storylines (or ties them up from the perspective of a first time listener) and it does have a humor to it, it’s extremely transitional and it shows. You might be thinking ‘well no shit it’s transitional that’s literally what the song does’ but when I say it shows, I mean that you can just feel Paul really wanted to write this song and be done with it. It falls into the unfortunate section of not being the last one as most of us in the western world are very used to a ‘rule of threes’ way of things. Particularly stories. But I did say it had humor and it ending abruptly with the sentient plant’s story coming to a close is some unexpected humor I enjoyed. (Also is the plant a post human? Did I read that right on the wiki? Is the fucking plant able to control reality? Somebody tell me, please.)

21- The Movement 2

So. The thing is I don’t think I like gen 3 all that much. It’s still interesting and Byron and Amelia are fascinating characters- also Jasper gets to really shine in this act! But it definitely has the more instrumental, bring me to church kind of songs. We get an interesting advancement of understanding the character dynamics with Amelia fully admitting to loving Byron who is never gonna love her back, but it just doesn’t make up for the repetitiveness of this song. Much like New Albion 3, I think this entire act suffers from not being the last to go, it feels very transitional despite it being arguably one of the most important acts due to the founding building blocks of Radio Hour being done within it.

20- The Movement 1

Much of the same critique of the one above this, but I will say what gives it more of an edge is the reestablishment of Edgar’s ‘business theme’ where Byron uses it for campaigning. It’s a bit of musicality that I really enjoy from Paul, connecting the characters through motif and parallelism. Byron hates his dad so god damn much, and yet still employs the same tactics he used when he was a young man looking for a purpose. McAllisters don’t fall too far from their tree huh?

19- Annabel Has a Doll

The origin of Kate’s ‘circles never stop themselves’ motif and it’s haunting beautiful when you go back and listen through. It essentially sets up the theme of every album following the first and is, what I think, the central part of what Paul is trying to convey. I could get into the philosophy behind his work for hours, like make a whole video essay on it but for now- this song. It’s on the lower end due to the fact that even though it is a hilariously frantic and manic bop, it can get really grating after the third verse. Like getting hit by a hammer over and over again with the constant and loud and insistent melody. Like I said, there has to be a worse and best, and I just think there are better songs on this album. Oh also- the beginnings of the Elysium theme? Fucking brilliant.

18- We Bid the 1st Generation Adieu

This is a brilliant way to introduce the concept of time jumping and also not getting too attached to the characters we see. It’s exposition without it feeling like exposition and Kate is always a delight to hear. It’s just that it’s a very short, transitional song and it’s. Yeah. That’s kind of it. We bid adieu to this review and move on to the next.

17- Bonfire of the Dolls

This song is a doozy in the best way possible. The climax of gen 3 and it completely delivers after creating such a delicious amount of tension between the living, the dead, and those who stand in between them. It’s the culmination of a society finally ready to snap and it is displayed so beautifully through a kick ass score that evokes such a frightening kind of emotion. A mixture of fear and pain and loss and somehow, love. Byron calling for Jasper in a desperate attempt at saving the one thing he only truly selfishly cared about gives me chills every time I listen to it. What this song suffers from however is the large amount of instrumentation. Don’t get me wrong, it sounds very good and the way Paul creates the ‘screaming doll’ sounds is so incredibly cool. But this would definitely benefit from having a visual element which is a problem I see across pretty much all the albums. Now that I call it a problem, I feel as though it’s a harsh word to use. I think it’s more like the show doesn’t need such long musical breaks if it’s never going to be staged. Still have the breaks, but perhaps shorten them? My mind can only supply so much imagination before I’m just replaying moments over and over again in my head.

16- The Ballad of the Gambler and the Monk

Full disclaimer I think this song is a fucking bop. I think it’s a certified, fun to sing along to jam. I love how this is the interlude of the story, reminding us of how exactly we got to this point of societal collapse by showing us how everyone was doomed from the start essentially. The music too has this old, nostalgic feeling to it which makes you feel like you’re being transported back to somewhere else, away from the chaos and the death and relentless evolution of New Albion. The only issue I have with this number is that for most of it, we already know the story due to it being explained to us. The opening lines of this show are telling us the story of the gambler and the monk. They only go more into detail about what happened at the end of the game, introducing us to the concept of reincarnation with incredible subtlety, but I really wish we had gotten more of a glimpse into just who these two were, and more importantly, who they were to each other. Now that’s a big wish considering it might’ve been difficult to have some establishment for these characters before Paul knew he was going to make Janissury, but some more detail to an already known story would’ve been nice considering a whole song was dedicated to it.

15- Edgar Gets His Heart Broken

Oh Edgar. Edgar you silly stupid bitch. You silly stupid bitch baby boy. Your song is objectively hilarious to listen to and I enjoy hearing your heart get broken every time. Although his incel anger does backfire on…well, New Albion for the rest of its existence, it was pretty funny watching it happen in a musical number. Lime pie//dying inside? Instant classic. Also the origin of the ‘one day you will learn’ theme and it’s honestly one of the best motifs Paul has ever written. It’s a perfect reprisal line and can be interpreted in so many ways, it just open to possibility. I don’t really have any critique for this one, it’s a concise and well paced story that gives us exactly what we need to know about gen 2 and it’s a bop. There are just better songs that come before this.

14- Annabel Raises the Dead

God damn does this song kick. These cats are cookin. When that piano/xylophone/I don’t even know what fuckin instrument barrels in with that tight ass arpeggio. The instrumentation is gorgeous, it’s evocative as all hell with its frantic nature and atmospheric sounds. The sole reason this isn’t further down on the list, is because I have this (most likely) singular issue with the actual notes themselves. Specifically the notes Annabel sings. Now, we’ve heard Laura Osnes sing, and I mean sing but what I can’t figure out is why despite everything being so incredibly frantic and high energy, are the notes she singing fall so…flat? And I don’t mean flat as in pitch I mean flat as in it just doesn’t match the energy. Annabel is a mad isolated scientist, why wouldn’t her melody line be an insane roller coaster? Why does it continue on in this sort of monotone way? It does get better at the end, with the bridge giving us insight into what the actual fuck is going on. But overall it leaves me wanting more in regards to a dynamic musical experience. Annabel’s part in the song holds the whole thing back with its sort of awkward melody where she’s singing these low, honestly uninteresting notes when the music is kicking all kinds of ass. Love this song, but I wish it was different.

13- Fay Considers Edgar's Proposal

Get his ASS Fay, make him eat shit. With his own musical motif of course. This song gives me chills when I listen to it, never a skip. For this entire time Fay has been living outside the main narrative, the sole reason why our easily corrupted protagonist gets…well, corrupted. To many, some may resent Fay in the beginning of gen 2 due to her somewhat vague couple sentences of break up. We have no context for how she feels or what her motivations are besides finding someone in a better financial/status position in life- but then this song comes on. Then we understand Fay really and truly did love Edgar. Filled with school-girlish, young love, Fay was head over heels. She fell in love with a young man who was most likely just as much in love with her. And during this song, Fay no longer sees that young man anymore. She feels betrayed, wondering how exactly she became a piece in Edgar McAllistair’s game of business and commerce. Wondering where the young man went and when he got shot out the back and replaced with the miserly and revenge ridden capitalist sitting before her, having taken everything from her. And then to top it all off with offering her late father? Her explosive ending is a stroke of genius and my only complaint is that this song is too short.

12- New Albion 4

This is the first instance of us hearing a more dieselpunk sound, the roots of Radio Hour beginning to grow into the cobbled ground of New Albion. It is haunting to listen to the second time around and frightening the first. Times are changing and by the sounds of it, for the worst it seems. Kate introduces us to a new kind of city and paints a very geometric and drab image in my mind where a dark cloud looms over a frightened and paranoid people. We are introduced to Soldier 7285 and the origin of one of the slappiest songs Paul has ever written, ‘the day we come’ motif. It is evocative of Javert from Les Mis, a solid and clear cutting tune that constantly comes in like a thick wall, impenetrable. You can basically hear the brainwashing going on and it’s honestly a great example of police/authority indoctrination. The words are empowering 7285, making him feel like he is justice, he is an important extension of the law and the law is just. It is unwavering. It’s an incredible piece of music and it was really difficult to decide to put it at twelve.

11- We Bid You All Adieu

There’s something about this number that breaks my heart in the best way possible. Like the way you felt when the children accidentally left Narnia or seeing Frodo Saul away to the Lands of the Undying. There’s still more story to be had, peoples lives still go on, but we are no longer viewers. The characters will live on as will we and…that’s that. The song is a perfect button finish to the mad and frightening escapades of the McAllistair family, bringing us not a sense of closure but drawing us in even more as to wonder what happens next in and to New Albion. I love the way it makes me feel, the only reason it falls here, just short of the top ten is because at this point we have heard this musical refrain many, many times and while that isn’t necessarily bad, repetition isn’t always the best choice, though perhaps in Paul’s case, the easiest when creating a new show every year.

10- The Suicide

Coming in at number ten we have our girl Amelia signing out! I have very similar thoughts to this as I did with Fay, getting the context of Amelia’s life is extremely heartbreaking. Also the discordant, chaotically violent way Paul displays abuse from a father is unfortunately accurate and phenomenal. Every time I listen I get so incredibly uncomfortable and displaced when that part comes and that to me is what makes this song a success. And then the twistingly sad nature of Elysium getting a reprise through Amelia’s epic goodbye to life just ties the whole thing together so neatly. Amelia is also a huge perpetrator, much like my blorbo Annabel in creating a chain reaction of events that will eventually lead to some crazy ass shit. I admire what this song contains and what it does.

9- New Albion 2

Full disclaimer, I love all of Kate’s parts and solos. I adore this one because of the charm we still have with this narration convention as well as development of the background characters! I want to hear more about the two women, the albatross Simon and the brilliant mouse Sam! It gives the city so much more life whereas the first one is an intro to help us build the world and the others lose a bit of charm after a while. This one I think is the most fun and I really enjoy listening for what are essentially clues/future callbacks for the future albums.

8- Priscilla Contemplates

I had no idea what Miss Priscilla was saying the first time around and if I didn’t take the time and effort to really listen to the words, this song probably would’ve been in the twenties. But after thinking it through and really tasting the words, I think this is one of the best poetically written songs Paul has ever wrote. It’s gorgeous in writing, describing such an odd and strange feeling from a girl who is living such an odd and strange life. And the way it ends with the phone call? Chills. Can you imagine being Jasper in that moment? This is a scene I would kill to see staged because of just how raw it can be. Priscilla is the best of the McAllistairs- as though reincarnation finally got it right this time.

7- The Day They Come

Not a ton to say about this one other than the fact that the rising panic is kick fucking ass to listen to. The way the music portrays Jasper and Priscilla arguing yet still desperately trying to be quiet. The inevitable way Soldier and the others are proudly and dutifully singing their vows. It’s short but it’s a riot, also RIP Byron and his trophy wife I’m pretty sure they die in this one if not died way before.

6- The Old Trunk in the Attic

I don’t know what the wide, general opinion is of this particular song but it, to me, absolutely belongs in the top ten. It’s strength is that it completely stands out from the rest of the discography. When Paul takes that moment to just create music from poetry, evoke feelings from us that we’ve never felt before. The delicate way the melody and instruments are done, the nostalgic yet unfamiliar list of items we all have a collective (but not real) memories of seeing going through our relatives belongings before. It’s what is a great representation of what makes the Shaperaverse so special. Just these moments of singularity, of importance when to the characters it’s just a Tuesday night. There’s so much gravity in this one song, I think we all forget just how much the rest of the discography relies on this specific moment- save of course for Annabel’s breakthrough. It’s beautifully sung by Kate and I put it on loop all the time.

5- Annabel's Lament

Humanizing our mad scientist with a ‘where did it all go wrong/how did I get here’ song is brilliant. One could argue it’s a verse too long, but to that I say the word ‘opera’ is in ‘pulp opera’ which is how Paul describes his works so. Yeah it sounds like a verse too long cause it’s opera. Anyway Annabel, like the logical thinker she is, lays the map of her life bare as she is finally ready to face the grotesque music she has composed entirely for herself. She’s trying to find the source, the answer as to why, why she cannot seem to escape this deep pit of loneliness she has been stuck in ever since her father set the high expectation of ‘be a success, then you’ll be happy’. And y’know what the crazy part is? I don’t even think she really figures it out in the end! Isn’t that wild? Yes she sets Jasper free because she loves him and on some level realizes his suffering- but the main reason she lets him go is because HE was supposed to be her success and, confoundingly, she still. Isn’t. Happy. Annabel doesn’t understand why this didn’t solve all her problems, why despite having worked for years and years, pushing everyone and every opportunity for social interaction away she still can’t get what she wants and this is the beauty of Paul Shapera’s works, but especially highlighted in his first. Annabel is trapped in a cycle, a circle. And the great tragedy is that she is the first act- there was no way her story was going to end happy. Instead she begins (or if you think about it, just another in a long line) a curse which takes four generations for her lineage to break. But the greatest tragedy of them all is that Annabel didn’t just curse her family tree, but the entirety of New Albion as well. Or perhaps- it was already cursed from its conception? I could keep going about Annabel and her lament, but overall this song feeds the story and lore part of my brain that is never satiated and the music has the intensity that I was looking for in Annabel Raises the Dead. It builds and builds until Annabel is screaming at an inanimate object, tragically missing the point of her own sad story as her ax flies.

4- New Albion 1

Where it all begins. The set dressing done in this song is brilliant in two ways. The first being that as just a listener, it’s like a pop-up book is opening and unfolding in your brain. Like a DM just before the beginning of a long, long campaign setting up the most intricate and alive world you’ve ever had the pleasure of stepping into. This is how musicals should be (something I’ve noticed is that immersion is distinctly lacking in modern day mainstream shows) where they entice you, guide you into a story before plopping you right down into the action. It’s exciting to hear what’s around every corner of this intensely strange city. The second is that when this is staged, despite imagination not being all that necessary, it is as though Kate is conducting the city to come to life herself. Set pieces gliding in from stage right, the one eyed red haired dwarf strolling onto stage tossing a pair of silver dice in the air, the city itself rising as Kate builds upon it. New Albion 1 works because it is not complicated, it tells you things as they are because what they are is already a wonder to imagine or see. And the continuous line of ‘and Annabel McAlistair is raising up the dead’? Brilliant intrigue, instantly letting us in on the score. More stories should try this method, after all why do people like Hamilton or Hadestown or Heathers or Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 so much? Their intros lay it out and we get to sit back and enjoy the spread. Also of course, this is the origin of the New Albion theme, the one all the narrators use. It’s just beautifully simple and strange and it makes me emotional whenever I hear it across the albums. Even when I’m all the way in the future, watching Jane fight for her life and Han Mi struggle with creating her own narrative, I hear that familiar tune and think about where it all began, with a sad lonely blorbo trying to bring back to life her own blorbo.

3- Priscilla and Jasper Play Cards

This song is disgustingly good. It’s a final act showdown, an earned epic moment in the narrative. Finally everything that has happened in this fucked up city is reaching a head in Byron McAlistair’s basement of all places and it is beautiful on delivery. The reprise of so many important motifs, my favorite being Jasper saying ‘be my angel’- the chills I get every time I hear him use that line is outrageous. Now I’m not sure who is right, but my interpretation of Jaspers line in that moment is that he’s asking Soldier to be his ‘angel’ by shooting him and finally, y’know, letting this man fucking die. But then I saw someone else say Jasper is saying this to Priscilla, begging her not to do this for him as he has finally accepted being alive again and doesn’t want her to die due to finally loving a McAlistair. Whatever the interpretation, canonical or not, it is a rip out your heart kind of moment. Sacrifice, duty and love all culminating to finally end the cycle of madness started so long ago in an epic trio of fantastic vocals. And when Priscilla finally can hear the music, the message Kate has been trying to get through, it’s breathtaking. You have to wonder how Kate feels when this happens, when she’s actually listened to. And just when you think it’s over…

2- I Will Bring You Down

…A new hero starts the cycle anew. This song is so fucking dramatic, so very end of an action movie sounding song and yet it works. It works because this is a relatively new character who is now able to think for himself, not just rehash the creed which will haunt this city for generations to come. And his thoughts (the music) sound incredibly unique to everyone else and that is a sign of so much care and attention from Paul. It’s a call to action, a sign of a new age coming whether the city and its people want it or not. It’s the beginning of a new story placed squarely as this shows finale. Finally, when the dust settles it is not a McAlistair who ends the tail in triumph, but a random soldier who kicks of another set of events. Circles really do never stop themselves.

1- Elysian Night

It’s hard for me to express what I feel when I listen to Elysian Night. Usually when I’m talking to people about it I end up struggling and stuttering and start spouting about something ephemeral leaving the person I’m talking to trying to decipher my words. What can one say about Elysian Night that isn’t already felt when you listen? Much like The Old Trunk in the Attic, it stands out amongst the rest of Paul’s works while somehow being the golden center of the sewn together quilt. It’s honest, it’s raw. It’s all the thoughts Jasper has been desperately trying to say after three generations of living. Picking apart other songs on the radio just to craft this one that will hopefully (tragically and inevitably fly over peoples heads) send the message about how he and every other doll in the city has been robbed of something that can barely be described. How do you not love this song? How do you not feel every emotion Jasper has raging on inside the machine that is his body? It’s close to one of the best songs Paul has ever written and I’m grateful to be alive in the time I am to be able to listen.

Thank you so much for reading if you’ve gotten this far! I’ll probably do another one for Radio Hour as it is my favorite of all the albums and we’ll see where this all goes. If you have any questions or would like to share your own opinion about the songs or have a bone to pick with me about the order they fall into, feel free to send me an ask or use the comments on this post. I never really get to talk about the Shaperaverse with people in real life and despite the discord community being amazing a full of incredible people, I find it hard to interact so I lurk most of the time. Thanks again for reading and happy listening!

[hldailyupdate]

Louis Tomlinson doesn't think One Direction's Up All Night album was shit, actually

We had a bone to pick with Louis and demanded a rethink. Here's what he had to say.

When it came to catching up with Louis Tomlinson for the release of his upcoming second album Faith In The Future, we wanted our focus to be on Louis the solo artist. As its title suggests, this record is about looking ahead. It simply wouldn't make sense to reminisce on his already-well-documented past successes, of which there have been far too many to mention.

That said, we had a bone to pick with Louis.

The One Direction star was recently quoted as saying that Up All Night - his Number 2-peaking debut album released with bandmates Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik and Liam Payne - was 'shit'.

It's a standpoint we demanded more insight into because, sorry, that record plays home to some stone cold 1D bangers.

As we begged Louis to rethink his stance, he told OfficialCharts.com: "Do you know what? It's funny. It was an off the cuff comment, man.

"It was amazing for the time. But look, I couldn't imagine myself singing those songs now, at this age."

We jumped to its defence, reiterating that Up All Night is very much not shit. "Tell Me A Lie! More Than This! MOMENTS!", we protest.

"Moments - I used to love that tune, to be fair," Louis explains. "It's the one that Ed Sheeran wrote. Listen, there were loads of good songs on there, but it felt very much for the time.

"I couldn't imagine jumping up and down, singing Up All Night these days. But never say never!"

So, which 1D records would Louis himself describe as 'not shit'?

“Midnight Memories onwards," he says. "Maybe this is a slightly selfish angle, because Midnight Memories was the first album where me and Liam really had influence on the writing throughout.

"I think the bottom line is, it's not about Up All Night being shit. That was just me having a laugh. From the third album, I could take true ownership in the songs that I was a part of writing.

"That made me feel immensely proud and sparked my interest in song writing. I would say my favourite One Direction album is the last one we did, Made In The A.M. I really like that album, man.

"Those three [including Four], I'm immensely proud of. The others, I'm proud of; and the only reason I think any differently is because I didn't have as much to do with the writing of them."

When we claim there was a marked growth in quality with each record, Louis agrees.

"I think so, too. When I look back at those records, there are songs across those later three albums that you wouldn't expect a band that started out with an album like Up All Night.

“Especially where we got to, with songs like Story of My Life. Looking back, I'm immensely proud of how the credibility grew musically."

Louis also explained his upcoming second solo record is his most 'sonically ambitious' work to date; seeing him collaborate with the likes of DMA's, Courteeners' Joe Cross and Hurts' Theo Hutchcraft.

He told OfficialCharts.com: "Me, Theo, Joe Cross and David Sneddon did a writing camp together, and what was great about that was that – from the off – we were all on the same page. Theo is vastly intelligent and an incredible writer. Even just being around these people, getting into their brains and taking on their different ideas; I’ve learnt so much more making on this record than I did the first. That’s purely from being around the right kind of people.

"I'm a massive fan of both Hurts and The Courteeners. Even the fact they were willing to work with me, I was buzzing about that. We’ve got some really great songs out of it.

Louis Tomlinson's new single Bigger Than Me is out now. His upcoming album, Faith In The Future, is released November 11 via BMG.

(4 September 2022)

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Jordan Martins

Jordan Martins is a musician, organizer, educator, and visual artist whose works have been shown in Chicago and Brazil. While he has played steel guitar and other instruments for years with the singer / songwriter Angela James, his first solo album, Fogery Nagles, was released by the Astral Spirits label in the fall of 2023. In his review for Dusted, Bill Meyer wrote, “Fogery Nagles arrives, seemingly out of nowhere, but just at the right time.”

Sarah Davachi — Cantus Figures Laurus

I’m a sucker for long-form droney music in general and as of late I’ve been bathing in organ music of this kind as much as possible. I had really enjoyed Davachi’s other works but fell fully under her spell with this box set of works from the last few years with over four hours of heavy tones unfolding in various ways. I like to listen to this as loud as possible to feel these sounds as vibrations. There are several shorter tracks that focus on a particular palette or tonality, with the later tracks being from live recordings of longer performances. Even though the set is a compilation joining these sets of works together after the fact, I love this body of work as a sequence of experiences.

Caetano Veloso — Araça Azul

It’s hard to pick a favorite Veloso record, but if I had to it would be the utterly unique Araça Azul, recorded in 1972 when he returned to Brazil after being exiled by the military dictatorship years prior. The record is markedly outside of the original zeitgeist of the Tropicalia movement — less ecstatic, hopeful, collaborative, and postmodern in the mixing of styles — but at the same it’s maybe the purest expression of the experimental range of sounds and poetry that the movement ushered in. There are other musicians playing on some tracks, but the whole thing feels like a single creative brain tinkering with ideas and sounds until they take enough shape to be a “song.” There’s a fundamental collage approach that I love — where he engages in field recordings, musique concrète, dissonant orchestrations overlapping on simple folk melodies, and transformative and ballsy covers of classics by singers like Monsueto and Milton Nascimento.

Angelika Niescier, Savannah Harris, Tomeka Reid — Beyond Dragons

I had the good fortune of seeing this trio play at Elastic in Chicago this past spring. When they finished their set, my wife leaned over to me and said “THAT WAS HOT SHIT” which is maybe the most accurate thing to say about these players and this music. Niescier’s compositions are somehow tight and specific while simultaneously giving each player ample room to flex and explore with abundant space around the components of each piece. I love their ability to charge into a piece full steam with an almost aggressive sense of urgency and then allow their interactions to gradually fragment and dissolve into textural interplays and quiet call-and-response improvisations.

Paul Franklin— solos on “Together Again”

A friend hipped me to a video of Paul Franklin soloing over the Buck Owens classic “Together Again” and I’ve since gone down YouTube rabbit holes watching as many clips as I can find (and I see other people in the comments on the same journey). Franklin is a Nashville legend who has played pedal steel on hundreds of recordings since the seventies. As a member of the Time Jumpers, he plays as a sideman to Vince Gill at local venues in Nashville covering classic country songs, often playing this tune which originally featured Tom Brumley playing a quick steel solo that used some very innovative voicings at the time. Franklin’s playing is so technically brilliant, but it also illustrates the ways in which the instrument can be psychedelic and disorienting, even in a conventional setting. His solos always follow a basic architecture but there’s subtle variations, improvisations and flourishes in every version where you can see him trying to find new ways of cracking it open. My favorite clips are the ones where he goes out on a limb and the audience is noticeably giggling as they experience the sonic floor drop out from under them like they’re on a carnival ride.

Nicholas Britell— “Unto Stone We are One”, funeral “March Song of Ferrix,” season 1 finale of Andor

I sometimes dabble in the questionable array of new Star Wars projects and absolutely loved Andor’s vision of a bureaucratic fascist space empire, not spending a second on jedis and lightsabers, instead examining the interrelationships of imperial occupations, military contractors, and resistance movements. The last episode is masterful in part because the tension of the entire season simmers to a boil during a funeral procession with working class miners playing junky space orchestral instruments. The score of this funeral march by Nicholas Britell is a haunting, yearning motif that steadily builds but the stroke of genius is how perfectly out of tune the instruments are! Such a simple and surprising choice does such heavy lifting in terms of adding a sense of materiality to the setting and imbuing the dramatic build up with a subtle unease beneath the gorgeous arrangements.

Terry Riley— Music for The Gift

A very early work by Riley experimenting with tape loops, with an approach that is uncannily prescient in the way it does a live remix of a jazz quartet as they improvise around tunes. The fact that this particular quartet was Chet Baker’s (with trombonist Luis Fuentes, drummer George Solano, and bassist Luigi Trussardi) is a surprising interlocutor in all of this: it would maybe seem more fitting to for this to involve an unorthodox voice rather than a more straight ahead, idiomatic jazz player for these out-of-the-box experiments. But I think the music works precisely because of the nimble-swinging of the group as Riley cuts up and repeats their melodies and phrasing back onto them in a slurry of loops that piles up and interacts with their improvising in unexpected ways. The clarity and charm of Baker’s playing is a perfect fit. Peter Margasak wrote a great piece about it for Sound American that you can find here.

Macie Stewart and Lia Kohl— Recipe for a Boiled Egg

Two of my favorite improvisers in Chicago. They are so emblematic of what I love about the creative scene here in the ways that they endlessly collaborate across a range of genres and scenes, whether improvising or composing, playing songs or deconstructing forms. This is a biased pick because they recorded this at Comfort Station, the small and idiosyncratic multidisciplinary art space I run in Chicago. The thing that first drew me to Comfort Station was the building’s unique vibrant acoustics and the porousness of sound that you get with an old building directly facing a busy street. Macie and Lia lean into that context in stunning ways on this recording, narrowing in on their voices and their bowed instruments reverberating and inviting in sounds from the outside world instead of recording in the controlled environment of a studio. You can hear ideas take shape as each listens, responds, builds, grows, dissolves into the other’s playing, with a recording quality that grounds them to a particular time and place.

Olivier Messiaen — “Louange à l’Éternité de Jésus,” from the Quartet for the End of Time

This is probably the single most impactful and cosmic piece of music I’ve ever encountered. Messiaen wrote all the movements for the Quartet for the End of Time while he was in a Nazi POW camp, and the entire work is on another level. But the sixth movement — just piano and cello — brings me to my knees every time I hear it. The first time I heard it was somewhat random and personal: during my freshman year of college, my mom was coincidentally the staff accompanist at the conservatory of the university I attended. And I would often borrow her car to run errands while she was rehearsing with music majors preparing their senior recitals. On one such occasion I was tip-toeing back into her studio to return her keys and heard a bass player (bass majors often adapt cello pieces for their senior recital) bowing the opening notes of the melody which seems to ask for a dissonant response from the piano. Instead, I heard my mom play the slow, pulsing major triad chord that entered in response, settling the piece into a hypnotic journey. I felt like the floor gave way in an instant and I had never experienced anything like it. Susan Alcorn has adapted it for solo pedal steel in a really unique way melding the harmony and melody together, and Atomic included it on their 2018 release of covers, Pet Variations, playing with deep restraint that the piece calls for while also letting the energy bubble up restlessly.

Jeanne Lee — Conspiracy

It’s hard to find a better expression of vocals and poetry integrated into a free jazz setting than this brilliant 1975 record, with Jeanne Lee leading a killer ensemble including Steve McCall and Sam Rivers among others. I had never heard Lee’s work before coming across this album when it was re-released by Moved-by-Sound in 2021 and I was struck by how much sparseness there is (somewhat similar to some of Caetano Veloso’s delicate moments on Araça Azul even), and how simple utterances give way to grooves and freakouts with the rest of the players wrapping around Lee’s command of the sonic space. If I’m being honest, I think these kinds of approaches to free form improvisations can often collapse into a kind of cheesiness or ham-fistedness, and this record NEVER once gets close to that, everything feels so purposeful even when the exploration is at its outer limits.

Olaibi — Mimihawasu

Although I had heard her playing on works by Japanese band OOIOO, this is a musician/project that I hadn’t heard of by name until someone I follow on Instagram posted that they had passed away this October (coincidentally on my birthday). Something in the way they eulogized her touched me deeply and I listened to all of her records in the days after (and often since). Maybe it is because my exposure to her music was immediately tied to her recent death, but there’s something so profound, tragic, beautiful, frail, intimate and loving about her music all at once. I wish I had heard her more before her passing, but I’m grateful that in the wake of her death this world of sounds has entered my life.

[silverfoxlou]

Louis Tomlinson doesn't think One Direction's Up All Night album was shit, actually

September 3rd 2022

We had a bone to pick with Louis and demanded a rethink. Here's what he had to say.

When it came to catching up with Louis Tomlinson for the release of his upcoming second album Faith In The Future, we wanted our focus to be on Louis the solo artist. As its title suggests, this record is about looking ahead. It simply wouldn't make sense to reminisce on his already-well-documented past successes, of which there have been far too many to mention.

That said, we had a bone to pick with Louis.

The One Direction star was recently quoted as saying that Up All Night - his Number 2-peaking debut album released with bandmates Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik and Liam Payne - was 'shit'.

It's a standpoint we demanded more insight into because, sorry, that record plays home to some stone cold 1D bangers.

As we begged Louis to rethink his stance, he told OfficialCharts.com: "Do you know what? It's funny. It was an off the cuff comment, man.

"It was amazing for the time. But look, I couldn't imagine myself singing those songs now, at this age."

We jumped to its defence, reiterating that Up All Night is very much not shit. "Tell Me A Lie! More Than This! MOMENTS!", we protest.

"Moments - I used to love that tune, to be fair," Louis explains. "It's the one that Ed Sheeran wrote. Listen, there were loads of good songs on there, but it felt very much for the time.

"I couldn't imagine jumping up and down, singing Up All Night these days. But never say never!"

So, which 1D records would Louis himself describe as 'not shit'?

“Midnight Memories onwards," he says. "Maybe this is a slightly selfish angle, because Midnight Memories was the first album where me and Liam really had influence on the writing throughout.

"I think the bottom line is, it's not about Up All Night being shit. That was just me having a laugh. From the third album, I could take true ownership in the songs that I was a part of writing.

"That made me feel immensely proud and sparked my interest in song writing. I would say my favourite One Direction album is the last one we did, Made In The A.M. I really like that album, man.

"Those three [including Four], I'm immensely proud of. The others, I'm proud of; and the only reason I think any differently is because I didn't have as much to do with the writing of them."

When we claim there was a marked growth in quality with each record, Louis agrees.

"I think so, too. When I look back at those records, there are songs across those later three albums that you wouldn't expect a band that started out with an album like Up All Night.

"Especially where we got to, with songs like Story of My Life. Looking back, I'm immensely proud of how the credibility grew musically."

He told OfficialCharts.com: "Me, Theo, Joe Cross and David Sneddon did a writing camp together, and what was great about that was that – from the off – we were all on the same page. Theo is vastly intelligent and an incredible writer. Even just being around these people, getting into their brains and taking on their different ideas; I’ve learnt so much more making on this record than I did the first. That’s purely from being around the right kind of people.

"I'm a massive fan of both Hurts and The Courteeners. Even the fact they were willing to work with me, I was buzzing about that. We’ve got some really great songs out of it.

Louis Tomlinson's new single Bigger Than Me is out now. His upcoming album, Faith In The Future, is released November 11 via BMG.

[kenmochi-toya-eng]

ROF-MAO Spice Interview Translation (May 22, 2022)

ROF-MAO is a male unit consisting four members of VTuber group "Nijisanji": Kagami Hayato, Kenmochi Toya, Fuwa Minato, and Kaida Haru, the four have been active in a wide range of activities, mainly variety shows and music on YouTube. On April 13, they released a mini-album "Crack Up!!!!" containing 6 original songs. SPICE had an exclusive interview with the busy group, which is scheduled to hold another live concert in July. We asked them about their thoughts on their activities.

――ROF-MAO was announced on October 21 last year, and on April 21, it was just half a year since its formation. Could you share with us miscellaneous thoughts about your activities so far?

Kagami: “What kind of scene will it create when we as VTubers do something akin to a live-action entertainment show?” I think this is the concept and theme of each of the videos that are being uploaded now. I feel that it is becoming more and more familiar to us, to our fans, and to the public.

――Like you're getting used to it, or it’s starting to get well received?

Kagami: Yes, that's right. I think people are starting to look at us not because we are "unusual", but because "the four of them went there!", not just fans but also non-fans are gradually acknowledging this in the past six months or so.

――I see. How about you, Kenmochi-san?

Kenmochi: At first I was filled with the fear that I would be made to give "fanservice" because it is a four man group.

――Asked to do fanservice (laughs) How was it in reality?

Kenmochi: I think I managed to get by with just a little bit of that after the reveal (laughs), also, as Prez (note: Shachō–Kagami's nickname) said, there was a strong mood of ‘new movement’ when it first got unveiled, the viewer reaction gave a sense of "Are you going to start something that is not Nijisanji-like?” However, now I feel that we were able to greatly expand the range of what can be expressed without changing the form and groundwork of "Nijisanji".

Fuwa: Personally, I’m surprised that it has already been half a year. I have been enjoying our activities with the same excitement I had when we first formed the group, and I still don't feel like I have been "active for half a year," and that is honestly it.

Kaida: For me, too, the past six months have been very hectic, and my impression is that I have become more involved with many different people. When ROF-MAO was formed, the viewers and even the four of us wondered what kind of unit it would become, but from that point on, it has become known that "ROF-MAO is this kind of unit!", this recognition of ROF-MAO as a unit is now well established. I think the past six months have only been the "prologue" of the group, and it’s been a half year for people to get to know what kind of group we are.

――What are some unforgettable things that happened during the past six months of working together? This could be something from the shows, behind the scenes, etc.

Kagami: I have a variety of special favorite times on the show. One that I particularly remember is the day when we had three outside location shoots, which was a lot of fun. Maybe I didn't mention this, but the "Go-Karting," "No Plan Drive," and "Private Boat" sessions were all shot on the same day. On a day that gave out "Let's have fun in Tokyo all day!" vibes, I was thinking “It's great to have this kind of shooting because of our activities....” in the car that Kaida-san drives.

(No Plan Drive Episode) ノープランドライブ　墨田～お台場付近

――How would Kaida-san describe your most memorable experience then?

Kaida: The Private Boat episode was so much fun that I remember every detail of the shoot. To begin with, I’m not the type of person who enjoys going out for leisure, so I don't think I would ever think of taking on a private boat in my life. Besides, after being active as a Liver for so long, I don't get to see the outside scenery as much, so that time when we took pictures while enjoying the night view was really memorable for me.

(Private Boat Episode) 【屋形船貸切】初心者の一眼レフ写真対決！

――How is it for Fuwa-san?

Fuwa: Well...like you two, I am attracted to outside shoots, partly because I don't usually go outside. I think Go-karting is the first thing that comes to mind in terms of having fun with everyone. The guest times are also a lot of fun, but I do have to pay attention whenever it is with a guest......

(Go-Kart Episode) 【クラッシュ】ゴーカートで日和ってるやついる？いねえよなぁ！？

――When it comes to guests, that reminds of syudou's times as a guest (laughs)

Fuwa: I was quite nervous that time, but I had fun doing it...

(syudou as Guest Episode) 【過去最高の緊張感】絶っっっっ対に失敗できない戦いがここにある・・・！

Fuwa: If I had to name the riskiest/most dangerous episode ever, I would have to say the "Safari Park" episode. Actually, I had to record this episode early in the morning after not being able to get much sleep because we had the "Paranormal Spot Location” shoot late at night the day before, perhaps this was the one time I was the most listless. Kaida was driving and wobbled me around, so I became even more quiet... If you are curious, please do check the episode out.

(Safari Park Episode) サファリパークで運転したら囲まれ舐められ大変なことに……

Kenmochi: If I could add a light story that hasn’t got caught on camera. But one time he fled from the shooting spot by boat at full speed, because of an urgent situation.

――By boat? (laughs)

Kenmochi: Looking back, surely it was a sort of dangerous situation, but I remember well everyone was enjoying the unexpected turn of events and it was a good time. I think it will eventually be made into a video in some form and get released. When it does, I hope you will enjoy it by all means.

Kagami: Actually that part is the one that definitely shouldn’t get released to the public.

Fuwa: Now that I think about it, we might got a little out of our mind too (laughs).

――I'll be looking forward to your weekly updates then, as it made me very curious about it. Now, on the mini-album "Crack Up!!!!" released a few days ago. Placed No.1 on the weekly album chart on both Oricon and Billboard, it was a great place to start off with.

Kagami: Honestly, there wasn’t much reaction from my surroundings to the fact that it got #1 position on Oricon and Billboard, which made me not feel special about it. Isn’t that the case with everyone? How is it?

Kenmochi: When I saw a big advertisement in front of the train station, or when I went into an anime-related store and heard our song being played, I still could feel the "Is this… for real!?” 

Kagami: That being said, there were times when I avoided going to CD stores on purpose, so I may have been completely oblivious to that.

Fuwa: You could also find huge advertisements for the album on station platforms.

Kaida: For me, it's actually the opposite. When I got a call that we had reached #1 on the Oricon and Billboard charts, I thought, "Huh? Could it be that we're actually popular?” (laughs)

Kagami: I see. It feels like the initial Spirit Gun in Yu Yu Hakusho*, it wasn’t only us, but also all the staff involved in this work, who put everything they had into this at one blow, which is why we were able to get such great results.

*(霊丸 / Spirit Gun, Yu Yu Hakusho MC’s signature move as he concentrates his Spirit Energy into his right index finger and releases it as a projectile)

――When it comes to the four of you, it seems that all of you is someone who has shown your passion for music and been actively involved in music even before the formation of ROF-MAO. Can you name one musical artist who has had the greatest influence on you and whom you respect?

Kaida: For me, it was the composer ryo, I was greatly influenced by supercell and EGOIST, including their vocalist.

Kagami: There are many artists who have influenced me, so this kind of question is difficult, but if I had to narrow it down to one person, I would say Moto Fujiwara of BUMP OF CHICKEN. Fujiwara-san is the first vocalist of a rock band that I was into in my life, so I’ll have to mention him.

Fuwa: I also have many favorite artists, but if I had to name one, it would be TAKUYA∞ of UVERworld. One time, I had the opportunity to perform at a live house as a hobby, and I heard from a staff member that he "always gives his all". I learned a lot from his attitude and stance and grew a strong admiration for him.

Kenmochi: Even though I have more opportunities to be involved with many people in the music industry now, I would say it is FLOW, with whom I had the opportunity to perform live together at last year's "Nijisanji Anniversary Eve Festival 2021”. I was able to experience firsthand how these amazing people have been working in this field for many years. In the midst of feeling like I’ve been allowed to stand on a stage that is beyond my capacity, I was shown "how to be on stage" and "where I should aim to be”.

――How did the mini-album "Crack Up!!!!" proceed in the making? Did you record the vocals while the tracks were already in the works?

Kagami: The production itself starts around the end of 2021? That was as far as I could remember.

Kaida: Vocals were basically recorded by two people at a time, with one group consisting of me and Prez (note: Shachō–Kagami's nickname) and the other group being Mochi-san (note: Kenmochi's nickname) and Fuwa-san, and so on. We would proceed in such a way that the first person that records the song would be the one to do the harmonizing, and so on.

――There are a lot of duets and harmonizing in the song, it must’ve been quite difficult?

Kagami: It was difficult.

Kaida: That’s right.

――Kaida-san also had some comical duet parts with Fuwa-san, Isn’t it?

Fuwa: When you say "duet" do you mean that part?* (the talking part in Let’s Get The Party Started!)

Let’s Get The Party Started!

――It's that part for example (laughs), it gives off all over the place feeling.

Kaida: That was me summoning "Imaginary Fuwa Minato" inside me and thinking, "Is this how he would act?" 

Kagami: Ah, I see, now that I think about it, that was recorded on a different day, wasn't it?

Kaida: That song was recorded with me and Fuwa-san in a separate group. I remember we recorded that song at a time when our schedules were quite tight.

――You have assembled a very splendid team of creators, including Q-MHz, KEYTALK's Shuto, syudou, Maeyamada Keniichi (Hyadain), Noi, and MONACA’s Keiichi Hirokawa. Did you get a chance to meet them in person for the actual recording and be given any direction?

Kaida: Everyone was present during the recording. I think it turned out to be a good recording session because they could clearly convey the passion in "this is how I would like it to be”.

Fuwa: Maeyamada-san's direction was so memorable because it’s so fast-paced. “OK!” “OK!” “OK!” It proceeds just like that. That was very interesting because the speed was totally different from the others.

――It looks like everyone was getting on board with what Maeyamada-san was seeking from the start. Now, this is not meant to be demeaning at all, but on the other hand, what song took the longest time to record?

Kagami: For me, it was “Shitteiru Tegami/Familiar Letter”.

Kenmochi:  That was the same for me.

Kagami: In a sense, this song is a literary composition that placed particular emphasis on the singing expressions. We each had our own views with Hirokawa-san's view laid out about the song, and then asked each other, "How should we do it?” We started the recording by singing the same phrase in several different patterns, using different voices and nuances, and the process ended up taking quite some time.

Kenmochi: While the other songs are energetic, this song has a slightly different flavor, so I tried various approaches to the song, such as emphasizing expressiveness in the way I sing it, and it took me a long time to grips the song.

知っている手紙

――I see. Now, please tell us one recommended song for each of the four of you from the songs included in "Crack Up!!!!".

Fuwa: I would recommend listening to any of them depending on your mood, but if I had to pick just one, I would pick "Shitteiru Tegami/Familiar Letter" 

It may seem like a follow-up from their answer (Kagami and Kenmochi's previous answers), but the interplay between the instruments, especially the guitar and bass in the second half, is really cool, so please do give it a listen!

Kenmochi: I would also choose "Shitteiru Tegami/Familiar Letter". I think this song has the "The ROF-MAO you can't grasp unless it’s through music" in it, that can't be conveyed only through ROF-MAO Cram School where we appear. I hope you will give a listen to it.

Kaida: I would have to say "Lack Hack". It is a song composed by Vocaloid P, Noi, with a very catchy intro and powerful grip in it. There are parts of the song where the notes go very high and the structure of the song was also difficult, so I practiced a lot for it at home. On the recording, I felt quite the sense of “I sang it well!”

ラックハック

――Kaida-san in “Lack Hack” is remarkably good (laughs).

Kaida: When we were recording together, Prez praised me so much that I left home with a big smile on my face (laughs).

――How about Kagami-san?

Kagami: I think it's "I wanna! You wanna!”. I simply love the song. The person who wrote this song was Shuto-san of KEYTALK, and of course I knew that he was known to be a band member with a lot of energy but I was surprised to find out later that he used to be a member of “the cabs”, and in that sense, I was deeply impressed.

ROF-MAO "I wanna! You wanna!"

――Shuto-san is well known for KEYTALK, but his work with “the cabs”(note *1) is also great, too.

Kagami: While the song is not something like the cabs, the bass right before the last chorus plays a ridiculous phrase, almost like it’s Billy Sheehan (*2).

――the Mr.Big bassist? (note *2)

Kagami: Yes, that's right (laughs) the part feels really wild as if messing around. During the recording, I was barely able to keep up with the music, and I was doing aggressive shouts from the top to the bottom, to the point where I thought, "Can I really go this far?”  It was fun to record the vocals.

the cabs: A three-member post-rock band that belonged to Zankyo Records from the mid-2000s to the early 2010s and was active with ‘te’, ‘cinema staff’, ‘mudy on the last night’, ‘highsinonasa’, ‘3nd’ etc. After the disband, Shuto focused on KEYTALK, and Kunimitsu Takahashi, who was also a member of the band, is currently working on a solo project "österreich”.

Billy Sheehan: American bassist active on the rock scene from the 1980s to the present. After playing in the Talas and David Lee Roth bands, he made his big breakthrough with Mr. Big and became the center of attention for his super plays. He is still active with various artists and is one of the greatest rock bass heroes with one of the best techniques of all time.

Kaida: When I heard Prez's chorus, I had a feeling that he really had fun recording it.

――Is there anything that you have become more conscious of or pay attention to in your daily life as you work in ROF-MAO?

Kagami: We have a regular ROF-MAO meeting about once a week, we and the staff have to come up with ideas to the point where we are all heaving with frustration to squeeze it out. It would be great if we could come up with various projects from our own ideas, so we start to look at our daily lives and think "This might be useful" or "This might be interesting”.

Fuwa: One thing I have learned in ROF-MAO is that I have to be very careful to get a good night's sleep the day before a recording session. Since the recording sessions sometimes start early in the morning and last until late at night, In fact, I have become much more conscious of this during other on-site recording sessions as well.

――You mentioned the same thing before. (On how the Safari Park episode was shot when he lack asleep)

Kagami: I think it really is such a huge deal for him. There was one time he slept really well, and he mentioned it maybe 13 times that day, "It totally feels different!!”, he kept saying it over and over (laughs).

Kaida: I get that (laughs) When Fuwa-san is listless, he looks like he could actually fall asleep in the middle of recording, so I can see it in his eyes.

――Haha (laughs) Kaida-san, do you have anything to add?

Kaida: I, the same as Prez, have started to look for ideas everywhere, and become more conscious of the video contents uploaded by creators. I also try my best not to get injured. ROF-MAO Cram School involves a lot of physical activity, so even a slight injury can prevent us from doing it at full strength. Of course, we take safety precautions during the recording, but I am very careful not to sprain or injure myself because I am the type of person who is careless and prone to it.

――How about Kenmochi-san?

Kenmochi: Something I become more conscious of, huh… I wonder... If I had to put it bluntly, I'd say that I try "not to be too conscious" of anything. I think being in this kind of showbiz industry sometimes makes you feel like you should give away your own true self for fame, but I’ll still make sure not to act too idol-like, flirty/giving fanservice, and push myself too much.

Fuwa: Like ROF-MAO’s last frontier?

Kaida: The one who wants to keep his beliefs intact and unwavering, right?

Kenmochi: Yeah, just like that.

――To wrap it up, Kuzuha & Kanae & ROF-MAO Three-Man LIVE "Aim Higher" is scheduled to be held on July 27th. I know it is still early to prepare for the event, but we would like to hear your feelings toward the live performance such as "I want to do something like this!” or “I want it to be this kind of live performance!”

Kaida: The strongest image of what I want to do is to show everyone who has supported me so far that "I can now do this!" This will be my first time performing at a live concert, and I am very excited to be able to sing on stage. I would like to experience the heat of the moment, which is something you can't understand unless you are there.

Fuwa: We ROF-MAO, Kanae, and Kuzuha are going to perform as three separate artists, so I imagined this concert as a battle of live performances. I’m really looking forward to seeing what kind of performance we will have, and I hope we can give a performance that won’t lose to the other two.

――Thank you very much. Kagami-san?

Kagami: One thing I keep in mind is that it’s my defeat if the audience thinks, "It was good this time, too."

――Defeat? Why is that?

Kagami: I think we are at the point where holding live concerts in Nijisanji is now becoming the norm, in a sense. Except for Kaida-san, if the members who have the opportunity to perform on many live stages cannot excite the audience with something brand new and fresh, there won't be next time. Personally, for me, it’d be better not to consider "It was good this time too." as a passing grade. I want to aim for the live performance holding a certain sense of risk in order to go to a higher level.

――I see. And finally, how about you, Kenmochi-san?

Kenmochi: I have participated in various live performances since the early days of VTuber, and I feel that VTuber live performances have progressed rapidly. This is because not only the performers, but also all the staff behind the scenes, such as the one in charge of lighting, sound, and producers who plan the events, share the same attitude that I can sense from Prez's talk. Even the way we set up this 3-man live concert was quite aggressive, and it was the first time for the four of us to perform in a live concert. We are trying to present something new in terms of performance, and we hope to make it a new experience for the audience as well.

――Indeed, and with that, I'm sure to look forward to the July live concert! Thank you very much to all ROF-MAO members for your valuable stories today!

ROF-MAO: Thank you very much!

Interviewer ・Transcript＝ 草野虹

[buckyr00s]

For the song meme: Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears and Coubting Stars by OneRepublic

Omg thank you for humouring me in this LOL What interesting songs too!

Okay so I initially didn't put any relation to these songs but after writing a blurb for the first song, I HAD to connect the two...prepare yourselves for all the HANNIX ANGST.

Warning: I do use like four cuss words. Sorry!

send me a song and I’ll tell you which Top Gun: Maverick aviator it reminds me of and write a short lil blurb about it

I see this as a song that resonates with Hangman in a rocky part of their on-and-off again relationship:

"I can't do this anymore," Natasha Trace's voice echoes in Jake's mind as he stares at the ceiling. He stretches his arm out to the right of him, feeling the cold bedsheet. That's where her body used to lay.

He pictures her, then. Her back is toward him. He imagines the way he used to trace the curves of her body with his eyes, from her shoulders down to her waist and back up her hips. "Snap out of it, Seresin," he shakes his head.

Turning towards his bedside table, he grabs his phone to check the time. 3:49AM. He winces knowing that he has to wake up early for an assignment. And yet, he's up. And he's thinking of her. Nothing but the darkness, the faint ticking of his wristwatch, and his thoughts accompany him. God, he feels so lonely.

He can't even remember what they last fought about. Something not worth fighting about, he is certain of that. One this is for sure: he should have fought harder to keep her. And there's absolutely nothing he won't do to get her back. He's texted her a couple of times throughout the past few weeks only to be met with...well, nothing. If only she'd give him a sign. Anything to let him know what she misses him as much as he misses her. Anything to let him know she loves him as much as he does. He loves her.

He shakes his head again, hoping to shake some sense into himself. He needs sleep. So, he shuts his eyes tightly, trying his best to take deep breaths and clear his mind. Tick tick tick. He focuses on the sound of his watch, hoping it will lull him to sleep. Tick tick tick.

And then he hears it. Ding. A notification.

His eyes shoot open and he can feel his heart practically beating out of his chest. Slowly, he reaches out for his phone.

Messages now Phoenix Can we talk?

After writing the blurb above and listening to this, I think this is the song for Phoenix's perspective:

Natasha lays awake, nothing but the light of her phone screen illuminating her hotel room. She should not be doing this, but maybe she just wants to torture herself. And by "this", I mean scrolling through her messages.

"I get it. I messed up. Please, baby. I want to make this right." Sent three weeks ago.

"Please, let's talk this out." Sent three weeks ago.

"I'm sorry." Send two weeks ago.

"I miss you." Sent five days ago.

She pictures him, then. That damn face he makes when he's sad. His eyebrows knitting together, causing the skin between them to crease. His clear blue eyes twinkling. His lips downturned and jutting out in a pout. That damn face that gets her every time.

Natasha rolls her eyes. THE Natasha "Phoenix" Trace, one of the best pilots in the US Navy, the fierce, fearless, badass woman who can hold her own and takes no shit...is wide awake at...3:22AM...over a MAN. And it has to be Jake "Hangman" Seresin. She cannot fathom it herself.

She closes her messages app and opens her photo album, hoping she can distract herself. A lot of the pictures and videos on her phone are the ones she takes at work. Her and her buddies in the Navy. Her helmet with her callsign. The planes she's flown. The views she's witnessed on land, at sea, and in the air. With each photo, she remembers all the adventures she's been on. All the accomplishments she's had.

And then, she realizes that she's made a mistake. She should not have looked at her photos. She should not have scrolled that far. Because now, she is staring a picture of him. It's one of the many selfies he used to take when he'd see her phone lying around his place. In this one, he's got his eyes crossed. His tongue is sticking out from the side of his mouth, which is quirked into a goofy smile.

"Shit," Natasha sighs, dropping her phone onto the mattress and letting it bounce. She feels her gut drop and her heart twist. Utter pain.

Sure, Jake "Hangman" Seresin is very much in love with himself in a way that turns many away from him. He's cocky, over-confident, and full of himself.

But he also is willing to do anything and everything for her. He cares so much for her. He's deeply in love with her--more than he loves himself. And most of all, she thinks she's in love with him too.

"I'm in love with him," the revelation hits her like a truck. Sitting up, she looks out her window, noticing one...two stars visible in the night sky. Without another thought, she picks up her phone and opens the message app once more.

Natasha "Phoenix" Trace is no stranger to risk and thrills. Everything that scares her makes her feel alive. So, she takes one of the biggest leaps in a while. She decides to text the man who has made her heart flutter and ache. But she thinks it's worth it. Messaging him scares her, but he makes her feel alive.

send me a song and I’ll tell you which Top Gun: Maverick aviator it reminds me of and write a short lil blurb about it

[incorrectgallaghergirlsquotes]

If you're down to talk Midnights and Gallagher Girls, I'm just curious on your pairings/characters you chose, and I have brain rot of this series and album now.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on why Cammie and Zach for Anti-Hero. I totally agree honestly they all relate to the song, but I went straight for Abby relating to it the most.

Snow on the Beach: I immediately thought of Preston/Macey and I'm just curious what made you think of Joe/Rachel and Bex/Liz. Like specific lines or just the vibe of the song?

Vigilante Shit: I went for Catherine, but I'm curious again about the four you chose. Like is this the four of them conspiring together and backing each other up, is it them individually? It reminds me so much of No Body, No Crime and your fic that's a part of the Spotify Wrapped.

The way we're becoming besties lol

Anti-hero: Now none of the characters are actually anti-heroes, they're all heroes pretty much. But who cares?

The first line that hit me over the head that made me give this to Cammie was "I should not be left to my own devices". I think we all know why lmao. By extension, I don't think Zach should be left to his own devices either Mr. Running-Away-Was-My-Idea-She-Just-Did-It-Without-Me. We've all also agreed Cammie has nightmares well into adulthood so the "I wake up screaming from dreaming". Then the way it goes on reminded me of how she felt like her friends and school all turned their backs on her in book 5 "One day I'll watch as you're leaving/cause you got tired of my scheming (for the last time)/It's me, hi/I'm the problem it's me" and the rest of the chorus. I can see the same lives fitting Zach's character as well just in a slightly different way. And then everyone, they've been through a lot.

I can totally see Abby though especially in the second verse and the following pre-chorus. We see her come into book 3 with this fun, young personality and then by the end she's been hardened. The next times we see her she's got more an all business sense about her. Which is devastating considering she either managed to retain that personality or bounce back after Matt and now it's gone (maybe again). And here are these girls with her niece and they're the new young, hopeful, excited spies.

And then "Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism/like some kind of congressman?" is SO Macey coded

Snow on the Beach: So for Joe/Rachel and Bex/Liz I focused on the lines that reflected longing for someone. Both couples spent a long time as friends kind of dancing around their feelings- so yes! Macey and Preston too, I completely agree! I go back and forth on if I see this from Joe or Rachel's perspective, I think it could go either way, and the same with Bex and Liz. I think the only thing keeping me from going full in on Macey and Preston is I see the two of them as will-they-won't-they and Joe/Rachel, Bex/Liz as mutual pining and that's the vibe I get from the song. I keep going to pull specific lines but I just end up wanting to paste the whole song!

Overall it's really cute. It paints a really sweet scene to imagine with any of the ships

Vigilante Shit: For my list I mostly tried to think about which characters would listen to the song and like the vibe/lyrics so I picked those four but I can DEFINITELY see Catherine. I guess I blocked her out because she's more villain that vigilante but that's my nitpicking lol

My thoughts overall have evolved a little since I made this list but I had to get it out of my head otherwise I wasn't going to post anything this week because it's just this. And I'm absolutely down to talk about it more if anyone else wants to!

[dojae-huh]

Changes in NCT

Well, haven't we got an unexpected hale.

First of all, the change of initial plans is evidently very recent because NCT Tokyo was promised in all plan releases in 2023. And, if I'm not mistaken, "Welcome to NCT Universe" show was sold to more streaming channels this year?

It seems, there was a considerable re-evaluation in how to launch and promote the Japanese NCT unit.

The reasons of moving Shotaro, Sungchan, Seunghan, Eungseok to the new boy group that seem to me to be the most logical are: a) the opportunity to debut them earlier, b) the three of them are Korean (and the new unit should have more Japanese), c) they don't fit the newly developed "regional" concept or other pre-selected members (I'm joking, but too tall? heh).

It's been 2,5 years since SungTaro debuted in NCT, their solo fans are at the end of their patience and interest. And, of course, for the idols themselves the wait is very difficult. Most will choose a solid offer right now than wait however many months or years of uncertainty more. As Shotaro trained with the other three a lot, became kind of a leader (at least in the practice room), learnt Korean, staying with them is the lesser evil. He won't lose all the friends he gained.

The official statement promises (heh) to debut the new bg in 2023. Which is actually not hard to do if SM follows aespa's route (a debut with just a single and not a whole mini).

Personally, I was looking forward to more Shotaro in NCT and to Seunghan-Doyoung interactions. It's also a pity that NCT lore got so many blows to its continuity. So I'm saddened by the news. Evenso, I wouldn't catastrophize and cling to the past. I want to wait and see the two new groups to judge SM's decision and form a final opinion.

It is well possible that the change was made due to the need to form two cohesive groups with even number of talented members, who match each other well. For example, if SM found a strong Japanese rapper, it would be hard for Shotaro to be the centre, he would be only a dancer. And Shotaro on the side won't be accepted by his formed fanbase. Or maybe Sungchan had to be moved to the new bg, because he didn't gain enough Japanese fans (I'm speculating, I don't know), and Shotaro didn't want to leave his friend. Maybe Seunghan is such a strong vocalist that he is essential for the new bg's concept. And another strong vocalist is a Japanese, so he goes to the last NCT unit. And so on. We also don't know how will be the new NCT unit promoted in Japan. Maybe the four don't want that future.

It's more important that the guys will really debut and won't follow the fate of the many girl trainees who never made it into aespa or poor Shohei, who was so happy when he was revealed as a Rookie, but his dreams crushed with his health issues.

The new gg was supposed to debut in 2Q, but now the debut was moved to 4Q. The 3.0 system (the branches, the teams) are in the process of being formed, so there are a lot of internal issues still, everything is getting postponed. The era of LSM ended. It is expected, that a lot of projects and plans that were started in the past won't make it into the new reality (NCT Hollywood, cough, cough).

On the brighter side of things. An SM choreographer posted a picture with him and SungTaro in their support. Taeyong releases an album that is really based on his wishes and vision. SM promised to support Shohei solo activities, so he hasn't been just tossed aside. Doyoung called Chris Lee as "hyung". BoA has a tv programme. aespa girls got their IGs only after 3 years (i.e they are now trusted with socmed). Karina chose the title track "Spicy" (from the roaster of SM unreleased songs she heard in the past). Red Velvet will tour Europe. All in all, the support of the artists seems to be in place. Regardless of the inner turmoils and business decisions, the things gradually become better.

[entrepy]

[  SING  ]  for  your  muse  to  sing  to  my  muse  /  song  or  lullaby   ( so about that singer au with bucky and sharon .... ) / @whitesuited .

The writing session goes well into the night. Somewhere around two in the morning they’ve wandered so far off topic, Bucky’s old touring stories are starting to come out and Bucky’s on the right side of his high to let them. The room is full of nostalgia, people pulled from places of Sharon’s past coming together to help fill her next album. Bucky hadn’t realised how many of those people overlapped with people of his own past. It makes sense that their first session had derailed so drastically with so much to catch up on — but they were better for it. He was better for it. 

It was good seeing Sharon again. They’d only reconnected a few months ago — one of Bucky’s works catching Sharon’s attention ( or maybe it was her manager’s — he still didn’t know ) which went onto become a single that would feature in the album she was now working on. He wasn’t sure whether she remembered the last time they’d met — a good decade or so ago, when they’d both been young in the world, and the industry. Before Bucky’s fall from fame, and Sharon’s rise to it. 

Around three, the room begins to empty. Excuses muttered about calling it a night, early mornings the next day, Gabe’s pregnant fiancé calling him with midnight applesauce cravings . . . Leaving Bucky and Sharon alone surrounded by half empty bottles and thinning smoke. The solitude doesn’t really hit until the door closes behind Gabe with a soft click, and the room previously filled with laughter and singing turns silent. He hasn’t been alone in a room with Sharon since  . . . their last opening act together over a decade ago. He thinks about those couple of weeks on the road from time to time — one of those unresolved moments in life that have neither beginning or ending, question or answer. There was a song Sharon had released a few years later that made Bucky think perhaps she had felt the same way — but he’d told himself that it couldn’t possibly have been about him. He’d watched Sharon’s career take off in the headlines on the side-lines; it didn’t make sense that she had her sights on the rear-view mirror like he did.

The air tenses a little with just the two of them left. They’d ended up on the couch together, but without Brian on the other end of it, Sharon’s shoulder leaning against his, her hair fanning over his chest, felt more intimate than it had been two minutes ago. It doesn’t feel wrong — though the glance they share is a little shy and maybe awkward and it takes Bucky back ten years to when they were both barely twenty dancing around each other backstage and finding reasons to get into each other’s space. He gives a little laugh — ‘ Come here, ’ he murmurs quietly, taking one last sip of his whiskey before placing the glass on the floor. He lifts his left arm up onto the back of the couch so the prosthesis is out of the way and slinks deeper into the couch, more horizontal and more comfortable for Sharon to lay against. 

It was almost four and they’ve been at it for hours. Bucky has no intention of mustering up the energy to go home — at least not right away. There’s no one waiting for him there anyway, and here . . . Well, here there is Sharon. The quiet rumble of the last melody they’d been working on hums in his throat. He closes his eyes against the dim gold lighting that reaches the corner of the room the couch was in, breathing against the subtle scent of Sharon’s shampoo that has survived the musk of smoke, her hair tickling his cheek. They hadn’t worked out all the lyrics to the melody they were working with — Bucky still fiddling around with chords and none of them in much of an agreeable mood. The words had been left in the air, but they come to Bucky now as he lays, eyes closed, drowning in nostalgia.  ‘ So you’re scared and alone . . . on the couch and you’re stoned . . . ’ He starts with a soft laugh, but there isn’t anything particularly funny — just disbelief that he was taking a leap he’d shied away from 10 years ago. He sings so quietly his voice catches here and there, scratchy yet soothing, scatting through the time he takes to think, to pick the words like apples from trees. ‘ You’re longing to feel . . . nothing that’s real. You kept me on the li-ne, never closer to be-ing mine . . . Remember the last light fading, remember the end . . . Remember the way I look at you . . . the way you looked at me . . . then. ’ 

His breathing is even but his heart races, eyes half opening to the world again, not really able to make out Sharon’s face from this angle. Out of a mixture of nervousness and embarrassment for having gotten too raw he goes back to humming, fingertips fidgeting discreetly in Sharon’s hair. If he was lucky — she would have fallen asleep five minutes ago.