#maybe there was some life still left to that friendship you were never ready to give up and never got any closure for

[greatestexpectationss]

Cherry Lip Gloss- Luke Castellan

Luke Castellan x Fem!Aphrodite Reader

You don’t feel like a daughter of Aphrodite today. Your hair won’t cooperate with you, it feels like none of your clothes fit right, and you’d somehow lost your favorite cherry lip gloss and had to borrow your sisters which tasted distinctly nonfruity, some vanilla something that left way too much of a taste in your mouth.

You just don’t feel like you. There's some sort of despair deep in your bones, you ignore the cause of it and trudge through the day in a haze, by them time you make it to lunch all you want to do is go back to bed and pray to the gods tomorrow is better.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Silena, your sister, asks you from her seat at lunch beside you. The rest of your siblings, true children of Aphrodite, turn their eyes and ears to listen in. Across from you and Silena is Drew, whose perfectly plucked brows furrow, “You haven’t touched your cherries,”

“You love cherries,” Jake, your brother, chimes in.

“I’m fine,” you tell them, forcing a smile. You pop a cherry in your mouth, “See?”

“No you’re not, you’ve been off all day,” Drew retorts, arms crossing as she turns to look at you. “Is this about that fight you had with Luke?”

Under the table Silena kicks her, and above it Jake elbows her.

“Drew,” he hisses, gesturing toward the rest of your siblings who all promptly turn back to their meals. 

“Sorry, but are we not gonna talk about it, seriously?”

You, in fact, weren’t gonna talk about it. Luke had been your best friend for most of your time at Camp Half-Blood, you’d met him in the Hermes Cabin before your mother had claimed you. You’d only stayed there for 3 days, but by the time you were headed to Cabin 10 and away from him, Luke was already ready to help you carry your stuff and remind you if you needed anything he was still right next door. 

You hadn’t really needed anything,. It was no shock to anyone you were Aphrodite's daughter, with your pretty smile and long shiny (y/h/c) hair. You had always had this way about you, something that lay between perfection and humanity. Confidence radiated off of you in waves, and you always smelt of fruit and cherry lipgloss.

You were fine on your own, perfectly capable of making your own life and friends for yourself in camp.

But Luke was charming, and maybe a little persistent. When you struggled to find a weapon you could actually wield, he knew your siblings would be no help, he’d approached you with two daggers in hand and told you to follow him. You were good with daggers but with Luke’s help, you were a damn force to be reckoned with. From there your friendship had blossomed and as you’d both grown up something more bubbled beneath the surface. A sort of "Will they?Might they?"

You never did, but you desperately wanted to. 

At least you did, before your fight

A few days ago, Luke had been pretty worked up about Capture the Flag. Normally, you liked him like this, all argumentative and technical, jaw and fists clenched. Mainly because you're never on the receiving end and also because a small part of you prides yourself on the ability to calm him down afterward. He's always soft with you, but when he confides in you, truly, you think he’s the best person you’ve ever met.

But this time he’s just pissing you off.

Luke, Annabeth, and a few other children of Athena worked tirelessly on a strategy for your team to beat Ares. Ares was on a winning streak and it was putting damage in all of your egos. Annabeth’s idea to put you in front of the flag had bode well with the rest of the group, everyone always underestimates you as a daughter of Aphrodite. You'd told Luke how much this irks you, in quiet moments alone, there's this stereotype, a mold Aphrodite kids are "supposed" to fit into, and you don't fit it, you just wish other people would realize it too.

Maybe that's why when Luke didn’t like the idea, when he openly protested it, it stung so much. When he Annabeth that putting you, a child of Aphrodite (he didn’t say it in so many words but still) as the last line of defense for the flag was "fatal strategic error" you'd blinked at him. Luke had talked Annabeth out of it or at least talked her into him and Chris waiting behind the tree line out of site “just in case”. 

After the meeting when it was just you and Luke, you’d fought, or more so Luke had tried to explain while you yelled at him.

“C’mon Y/N, this isn’t personal,” he’d told you after you’d ignored him the 3 minutes it took to get back to your respective cabins, he halted you in front of the Aphrodite cabin, coming to stand in front of you and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, “leaving you there by yourself wasn’t a good idea, what if you needed back up?”

You’d slapped his hand away from your face. 

“No but if Annabeth had wanted to leave you there, or herself there it wouldn’t have been a doubt in your mind you’d both be fine right?” He says nothing but you know what he’s thinking, and you scoff in disbelief. 

“Don’t be like that,” Luke begged, eyes sad and soft, you almost wanted to cave when he lowered his voice and stepped closer to you, “Will you just let me explain?”

You take a step back, “What? You wanna explain that because I’m in Aphrodite I’m somehow less than you and Annabeth? Like I can’t look like this,” you gesture to your black mini skirt, camp half-blood tee, altered to be shorter and tighter, and your dainty jewelry, “and kick your ass at the same time?”

“I’m not saying–”

“Just forget it, Luke,” you’d said bitterly, “you know for the record I’m used to everyone treating me like some dizzy Aphrodite kid without a clue, I just never thought you’d be the one doing it.”

And then in the greatest storm off in Camp Half-Blood history you’d bumped his shoulder, stomped up the steps of your cabin, and slammed the door right in his cute puppy dog face. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you told your siblings. Silena scoffs while Drew and Jake roll their eyes. “Y/N, you haven’t talked to him in almost a week.”

You pop another cherry in your mouth, “Look its fine, I’m fine, everything is fine, I’m just tired and this morning was rough”

They share an unconvinced look. “You know he keeps asking about you,” Jake tells you after a moment of silence, “I think he’s worried about losing you.”

“Can’t imagine why,” you say bitterly, you take your fork and stab it into your salad.

“Hmm, I don’t know because he’s totally in love with you??” Drew deadpans, she’s kicked and nudged again. She throws her hands up in the air and sighs loudly before she grabs her trey and stands up. “Look Y/N I love you, and if you want us to totally ignore your problems we will, again because we love you. But we just want you to be happy, and I think for the most part Castellan makes you happy.”

She smiles and then leaves. Jake stands too, “Plus he’s super hot, you are not gonna find better arm candy in this camp. Trust me I’ve looked.”

That draws a laugh out of you, “I’ll keep that in mind Jake, thanks.”

Silena goes to stand up too, “Are you gonna come to archery practice today? I heard Lee and the Apollo kids are gonna show off, might be kind of cool.”

“You go ahead I think maybe I just don’t feel well,” she looks unsure, and double-checks again. You just wave her off, tell her to have fun before retreating to your cabin.

You don’t feel well, you repeated, you must be coming down with a cold, your feeling of despair and lessthanness has nothing to do with Luke, with missing him, with wanting him.

You curl up in your empty cabin, in your bunk. Your siblings call it your nook, a bunk in the corner of the cabin, the top unclaimed, but the bottom bunk is yours. It's covered in pretty floral sheets, a fuzzy blanket, and a fluffy pillow. You had hung up (or had Luke hang them up for you) a long curtain rod across the bed frame with light pink curtains, the inside of your bunk lined with pretty fairy lights. Usually, your nook is comforting, today it just makes you miss your best friend. 

The door to the Aphrodite Cabin opens and closes, you close your eyes, hoping desperately to fall asleep, and that whichever sibling walked in doesn’t realize you’re hiding in here. 

A shadow appears outside your curtains, you internally groan and bury your face deeper in your pillow,

“Y/N?” the voice asks, you recognize it right away. You think you’d know him anywhere. It’s Luke, you let him peek into your curtain, and he gives you a small smile.

“Hey,” he says. His curly hair looks stupidly good, in a way that makes you wanna run your fingers through it. It's unfair really.

“Hi.”

“You okay?”

“M’fine,” you try to say voice muffle by the pillow, his smile grows. 

“Mind if I come in?” You hesitate, you’re still reeling from his rejection of the idea that you could be of value as the last line of defense for the flag like you're some damsel that needs him to rescue her. Your ego isn’t the only thing that's wounded though. Luke hurt your feelings, all this time you thought he was the only person who saw you, all of you, and loved you for it and despite it. Never in a million years would you have imagined that your one episode of self-loathing would be triggered by his words. But, still, you miss him, and you're sad, so against your better judgment, you mutter a quiet sure and scoot over. 

He crawls in with you and lays down on his back beside you, side by side the two of you stare up at your twinkle lights. 

“You’ve kind of got it made in here don’t you?” he asks in order to break the terribly awkward silence. You mumble a quite yeah, and then you’re both silent again. It’s incredibly painful. You turn your head to look at him, and find he’s already staring at you. 

“Hey,” you say.

“Hi,” he replies. He reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, you savor the feeling of his touch, leaning into his hand. He smiles at you something sweet and sad all at once.

“I miss you,” Luke tells you, “and I’m sorry.”

“Luke–” he turns all the way to face you on his side, you follow suit even when he cuts you off.

“Just listen okay?” he pleads. 

You nod once. 

“I was worried about you,” he starts running a tired hand through his hair, your brows furrow in confusion, you open your mouth to protest, but he puts a finger to your lips, “You promised you’d listen remember?” 

You glare at him but relent as he pulls his finger away from your lips and down your arm. “Peter from Ares, all week had been talking about how he’s leading the charge for our flag, and how he couldn’t wait to get his hand on the pretty Aphrodite girl who always takes all the cherries,” it doesn’t take a genius to realize that Peter had been talking about you. He’d flirted up a wild storm with you a few weeks prior and you’d turned him down, Peter, a true Ares kid at heart, didn’t take it well. “I didn’t want you out there all alone if he came looking for you and actually found you.”

Luke’s always had a hero complex, the desire to prove himself worthy of being called a hero, no matter the cost, the pink scar on his face is a testament to that. It would be annoying if it wasn’t so fucking sweet. “I can take care of myself, Luke.”

“I know that,” he says earnestly, and you think he means it. Luke reaches for your hands and holds both of them close to his chest, he brings one to his lips and kisses your wrist. “The thing is you don’t have to. And I guess I just wanted to protect you and I went about it all wrong, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him and before you know it Luke is pulling you to his chest hugging you and kissing the top of your head. “I know you can take care of yourself, and I know you could kick anyones ass and look gorgeous doing it, you always do.” Another kiss to your head, before you’re looking up at him grinning. 

“You think I’m gorgeous?” you can’t help teasing him. Your self consciousness is melting away under his gaze, how can it not when he’s looking at you like you hung the damn moon?

This is that something else that bubbles under the surface of your friendship.

“Are you kidding?” he scoffs, moving his arm from your waist to place a hand on your cheek, stroking it with his thumb, “Look at you, of course I do.”

“Even when I’m mad at you?” You tilt your face upwards and closer to his

Luke grins, “I don’t know are you still mad at me?” You smile right back, bringing one of your hands between your faces, and pinch your index finger and thumb together only a tiny sliver of space between them. Luke knows you’re kidding by the glint in your eyes.

“Well then especially when you’re mad at me.”

You laugh and it does something funny to Luke’s chest. He looks at your lips, and the air changes. 

“Luke?”

“Yeah?” 

“Would you really have protected me if I needed it? From Paul?” you ask quietly, eyes darting to his lips drawn between his teeth. 

“From anything,” Luke swears, thumb still caressing your cheek, you want him closer, you need him closer. You could just reach up and kiss him but first you have to know, you have to make sure.

“Why?”

“You know why.”

And then he’s kissing you, like you’ve never been kissed before. You let out a squeak of surprise by the sudden pull at the back of your neck, toward him, then he’s shifting you on your back and hovering over you all the while never breaking your lips apart. 

You’re glad for that, when he slips his tongue in your mouth, you think you’d die if he stopped kissing you. You reach one perfectly manicured hand at the base of his neck and thread your fingers through the shorter strands, Luke lets out a little groan, and you grin into your kiss. Your grin is cut short by his hand on the skin of your waist where your shirt had ridden up, he caresses it there and you absolutely melt. 

This is it, you think, no one else will ever be able to kiss me again, you know you’re completely and totally screwed before you even pull away to catch your breath. 

“You taste like vanilla,” Luke says, grinning at you with the sheen of borrowed lip gloss on his lips, he brings his thumb up to wipe the reminisce of the lip gloss off of yours, “I thought you use cherry.”

“I do,” you pout, reaching up to wipe his lips the way he did yours, he kisses the inside of your lips, “I lost mine.”

Luke reaches into his shorts, and appears with not one but two new, not yet opened, cherry lipglosses, her grins as you sit up and greedily grab them from him, “I brought them as a peace offering, you know in case you didn’t want to make out.”

You laugh before pulling the little handheld mirror off the window ledge next to your bed, you apply it and already you feel more like yourself. 

You fling yourself back on top of Luke and cling to him like a Koala.

“Thank you,” you mumble into his chest. He laughs, and you can feel it in your cheek.

“Anytime sweetheart.”

You kiss him again, and this time when you pull away, it's your lips gloss that smeared on his mouth. You think you like him best like this, shiny swollen lips, tousled hair, and grinning.

[serpentandlily]

congratulations on 3k followers!

would love to request Azriel x Reader (Fem!Reader if that’s okay with you), some good ole’ angst ending in fluff please!

Az knows reader is his soulmate and doesn’t say anything, reader either finds out because someone in the IC told her or the bond snaps for her, and she thinks Az didn’t tell her because he’s ashamed of her but really he’s ashamed of himself and thought reader wouldn’t want him.

I know this has been done before but I love seeing different versions of it and know yours would be amazing!!

The Shadowsinger’s Secret

Summary: After years spent trying to befriend the shadowsinger to no avail, you are finally ready to give up after accidentally overhearing him speak poorly of you. But when a gossip session exposes a life-changing secret, you realize you can’t let go of Azriel just yet. 

Warnings: some miscommunication, fluff

A/n: Hope you enjoy this! Thanks for sending in a request and for your kind words!

────────────

Meeting Mor at Rita’s during the time Velaris was warded and locked down had completely changed your life. 

A close friendship had bloomed between the two of you. She introduced you to her two other friends, Cassian and Azriel, when she invited you to a dinner at the townhouse they all shared. After getting over the shock of meeting the fae so close to the High Lord, you were quick to make friends with them—or well, with Cassian at least. 

Although Azriel didn’t seem like much of a talker in the first place, you began to notice the extra ways he would go about avoiding you. Quickly leaving a room with lousy excuses when you entered, avoiding eye contact when he did address you—like when he’d ask you to pass the potatoes since that was really the only time he talked to you, or pretending not to notice you when you would see him out and about in the city. 

At first, you chalked it up to him being severely introverted and shy. Not to mention, all three of them were struggling with the fact that their brother and friend was stuck under the rule of Amarantha. It hurt your feelings, but you brushed it off, figuring he would open up to you over time. But that time never seemed to come even after Rhysand returned. 

The first few months after Rhysand finally came home, you were quick to form a friendship with him despite him being your High Lord. You two shared similar traumas. You both had terrible fathers growing up. He had lost his sister, you had lost your brother—the reason you’d moved away from home to live here. But perhaps the best and most silly reason you got along so well was the fact that the two of you loved to gossip. 

Even after making friends with both his brothers and Mor, Azriel did not warm up to you. He still avoided you. Still made sure to always sit at the other end of the table from you. Made sure to never be left in a room alone with you. And he would never be the one to offer to fly you up to the House of Wind, even when it would’ve been more convenient. 

You were beginning to think maybe he just didn’t like you. And then those feelings were confirmed with the appearance of the Archeron sisters. 

You had seen the way Azriel treated Elain, always offering to keep her company or escort her to places. He sat with her at dinners, listened to her talk about her hobbies, and even defended her when a bad word was said about her. Elain was easy to get along with, sure, but so were you. At least, you had thought you were. But Azriel was making you question everything you had ever thought of yourself. 

He even became friends with Nesta, who had been nothing short of a viper when she first arrived in Velaris. That was when you finally let go of the notion of ever being his friend, ever getting him to even so much as look your way. He didn’t like you. For whatever reason, a reason you were too scared to ask the others about, he didn’t like you. 

You had gone to such great lengths to be his friend. Gave him presents on Winter Solstice, brought his favorite treats from the bakery to leave in the kitchen for him every sunday, tried to converse with him during dinners, included him whenever you invited the group out for drinks. You had tried your hardest and it had been met with pure apathy. You eventually found out that he wouldn’t even eat any of the treats you brought, leaving them all for Cassian.  

That really drove the nail into the coffin. He didn’t even want to touch something because it had been from you. It hurt more than you’d like to admit.

You were currently making your way to Rhys’s office for a meeting about how your mentorship with Madja was going but more importantly, to share the hot gossip you’d heard when two voices caught your attention. 

You paused in your tracks when you heard your name mentioned, glancing at the closed door to Rhys’s personal library. 

“You should at least try and talk to her, Azriel.”

“You don’t understand, Elain.” You heard Azriel respond. “I can’t.” 

“It’s not fair that you're making judgements without even knowing her. She’s pretty, she’s kind—Y/n is a great girl!”

Your heart was wildly beating in your chest, both panic and nausea turning over your stomach. 

“I do know her and she’s not. She's not pretty or kind. She’s not a great girl, she’s—”

You fled before you could hear the rest of Azriel’s response, tears burning in your eyes, chest tight. 

So none of it had been in your head. Azriel truly disliked you. You didn’t know what you did to offend him or make him hate you.

You swallowed, thickly, wiping away the tears that had slid down your cheeks, trying to compose yourself before you entered Rhys’s office. The last thing you wanted was for him to ask you why you were upset.

But you could do nothing about the nausea in your stomach, or the hoarse feeling in your throat that made it hard to swallow. Maybe you’d just drop off the report and scurry home before anyone noticed something was wrong. 

You pushed open the door to his office, keeping your eyes on the floor as you entered and shut it behind you. 

“Ah, Y/n, just the person I was waiting for! You will not believe what I heard Nesta telling—” You looked up when Rhys paused to see him staring at you with concern. “Y/n, what’s the matter? Why do you look so upset?” 

“N-nothing,” you choked out, striding forward and setting your report on his desk. “I’m just a bit tired today. Think I’m going to head home and take a nap.” 

Rhysand stared down at the folder on his desk with a frown before leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “Bullshit.” 

“Excuse me?!”

“I’m calling bullshit, Y/n,” Rhys said, looking at you with a stern expression that was normally reserved for when Nyx acted up. “You stay out all night long with Mor all the time and you’ve never skipped out on our talks! What happened? Did someone hurt you? Who do we have to beat up?” 

You shook your head with a small laugh that sounded as hollow as you felt. “Seriously, Rhys, I’m fine. Nothing happened. I really am just tired.” 

He studied you before nodding at the chair in front of his desk with his chin. “Sit.” 

You bristled at him using his High Lord’s voice to get you to obey, reluctantly taking a seat in the armchair. He didn’t seem bothered by the glare you were sending his way. 

“This is hardly necessary,” you argued.

“You’re not leaving this room until you tell me why you walked into my office looking like a little, downtrodden puppy.” 

“Gee, thanks,” you scoffed at his comparison. “Like I said, nothing is wrong!” 

Rhys only quirked an eyebrow at you and you let out a noise of frustration. “Fine! Look, I just overheard some people talking about me and not all of it was…

pleasant, okay? That’s all.” 

“Who?” Rhys barked out. “What were they even saying? You’re the most harmless person I know.”

You rolled your eyes at his remark. 

“No one important and besides, people are allowed to have negative feelings about me,” you sniffed. “Even if it hurts to hear.” 

“If it was no one important then you wouldn’t be upset. And no one is allowed to have negative opinions about any of my friends except for me,” Rhys leaned back in his chair and kicked up his feet on his desk before giving you a very feline smile. 

You snorted. “Yeah, well, what if it was one of your friends I overheard?”

You regretted those words as soon as they came out of your mouth. 

Rhys perked up. “If it was Cassian, don’t pay him any mind. He’s just mad you beat him at poker last week.” 

“It wasn’t Cassian. It was Azriel,” you sighed. 

Rhys was silent for a moment before he burst into laughter. Your mouth dropped open at his audacity. 

“It’s not funny! I’ve spent years trying to be his friend! I don’t know why he hates me so much.” 

“It’s funny because I know Azriel would never talk shit about you. He doesn’t even talk shit about the people he does hate and he most certainly does not hate you,” he chuckled. “I don’t know what you overheard but it must be a misunderstanding.”

“It wasn’t!” 

“Alright, show me.”

You felt dark claws tap on your mental shield and you let him in after some slight hesitation, letting him view your most recent memory. 

“Hm,” Rhys mused when he was done. “I’m not convinced. You should’ve stuck around to hear what he said.” 

Hearing Azriel’s words in your head again caused a new round of tears. You tried to hold them back, sniffling but it was no use. Rhys sat up straight when he realized just how upset you were. 

“Y/n, please don’t cry. I promise you Azriel does not hate you. I know how awful that sounded but I really think—”

“He does! He’s never liked me! I’ve tried so hard to be his friend, Rhys, and he always ignores me or pretends I’m not there. Every time I try to talk to him he gives me one word answers and runs away with any excuse like he can’t even stand to be around me! I don’t know what I did to make him hate me so much or think I’m an awful person.” 

You wiped away the tears on your cheeks, bitterly. 

“Azriel’s just…shy,” Rhys said, weakly. “Give him some time to warm up to you.”

“I’ve known him for over fifty years now, Rhys! Hell, he’s already friends with Elain and Nesta and they’ve barely been living here for two years. I think if he wanted to be my friend, it would’ve happened already. He just doesn’t like me!” 

The door to Rhys’s office opened right after you finished talking and you stiffened as Cassian strode in. 

“Oh, hey, Y/n, I didn’t know you were in here,” Cassian greeted as he shut the door behind him. He stopped in his tracks once he noticed your tears and Rhys’s grimace. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” 

You groaned, dropping your face into your hands with embarrassment. 

“Y/n is under the impression that Azriel hates her.” 

“No, I know he hates me,” you said, voice muffled. 

Cassian’s booming laughter filled the office, making you sink further down in the chair. What the hell was so funny about this? 

“You think Azriel hates you?” Cassian asked in between his laugh. “Y/n, that is ridiculous! He could never hate you. You’re his mate—”

“Cassian!” Rhys rose, slamming his hands down on his desk. 

Your head sprung up. 

“What…what did you just say?” 

Rhys let out a sigh, pinging the bridge of his nose. “Gods damn it, Cassian. Y/n…you weren’t supposed to find out this way. I’m so sorry—”

“Azriel is my mate and he knows? He told you guys but not me? Why…”

Why? Of course you knew why! He never told you because he didn’t want you as his mate. All the air in the room was sucked out, your face turned hot, your ears started ringing. Your mate didn’t want you. Your Mother-blessed mate didn’t want you. You shot up out of your seat, rushing to the door. 

“Y/n, wait!” 

But you didn’t stop.

────────────

“It’s better this way,” Azriel sighed. “She deserves better than me. She deserves someone as good as her as a mate. She could never want someone like me—I’m not good enough for her.” 

“You should at least try and talk to her, Azriel,” Elain replied. 

“You don’t understand, Elain. I can’t.” 

Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. He couldn’t talk to you because the mating bond might snap in place and then you’d be chained to him forever and that was just not fair to you. You deserved so much more. 

“It’s not fair that you're making judgements without even knowing her. She’s pretty, she’s kind—Y/n is a great girl!”

“I do know her and she’s not. She's not pretty or kind. She’s not a great girl, she’s a saint. She’s not just pretty, she is the most beautiful girl in the world and she’s so much more than just kind. She’s good unlike me. I’ve…I’ve done so many bad things. I’m tainted and if I allow myself to be with her, I’ll ruin her.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself, Azriel,” Elain sighed. “Besides, shouldn’t Y/n be the one to decide for herself if you’re good enough for her? Me and Lucien didn’t get off to a great start but at least he was honest with me.” 

Azriel’s wings drooped to the floor. “You’re…right. It’s not fair to her that I’ve been keeping this a secret all these years. But I don’t want her to feel forced to be with me.”

“She is smart, Azriel, and can handle herself. If she doesn’t want you, I’m sure she’ll be honest about that. But you won’t know until you try. And as much as I love listening to you talk about her—I think I can speak for all of us when I say that you should stop saying this stuff to us and start saying it to her! She probably thinks you hate her with how much you avoid her!” 

Azriel’s chest ached at that thought. The last thing he wanted to do was upset you which is why he stayed away. 

“But—”

“No more buts, Azriel,” Elain said, sternly. “Tell her before she finds out some other way like Feyre did. You know how much that upset her. Rhys is lucky my sister is so forgiving.” 

Azriel swallowed thickly, but rose to his feet. It was about time he faced this, about time he stopped trying to hold his mate at arms length. Even if he felt like he didn’t deserve you, you deserved to know the truth. 

“Okay. You’re right. You’ve all been right and I’ve been a coward. She deserves the truth.”

Elain smiled, nodding her head. “Good luck, Azriel. Just remember if she seems reluctant at first, don’t take it to heart. It took all of us some time before we warmed up to our mates.” 

He gave her a dip of his head before leaving the library to start his search for his mate. What he didn’t expect was you to come barreling down the hallway with tears pouring from your eyes. His stomach turned over at the sight and he quickly stopped you in her path, grabbing you by the shoulders. 

“Y/n, what’s wrong—”

Your eyes widened as you stared up at him.

“D-don’t,” you cried out, shrugging out of his grip. “Please, don’t touch me.”

And then you were off again, disappearing around the corner. He stood frozen in place, debating if he should run after you. But you clearly didn’t want to talk to him. And it was all his fault—the distance he had put between the two of you. 

He made his way to Rhys’s office, pushing aside the urge to run after his mate and find out why you were so upset and who he needed to hurt for causing your tears. 

When he entered, he immediately knew something was wrong. Cassian was staring at him with pure guilt in his eyes while Rhys stood behind his desk, frowning. 

“Azriel, I’m so sorry,” Cassian choked out. 

“Sorry about what?” 

Cassian rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he wanted to ground to swallow him whole. “I might’ve told Y/n that you're her mate.” 

“You what,” Azriel growled. 

Cassian glanced at Rhys who decided to jump in before a war broke out in his office. “Honestly, Azriel, it’s your fault for keeping it from her. She was in here crying because she thinks you hate her. I was trying to convince her you don’t when Cassian walked in and let it slip.” 

“You’re one to talk,” Azriel spat out. “You hid your mating bond from Feyre too.”

“Not for over fifty years! I would’ve told her if she hadn’t found out. I withheld that information for a few months and look how that turned out. How do you think Y/n will feel knowing you hid it from her for over fifty years!” 

Azriel’s wings slumped, his shadows whirling around him in distress. Just the idea of you being hurt by him was enough to make him want to bash his head into the wall. “She deserves better.”

“You’re right. She deserves you,” Cassian said, gently, nudging him with his shoulder. “Maybe this was the push you needed, Az, to finally talk to her.” 

Azriel sighed, bowing his head in shame. “I know, I know. And I will—I will go talk to her.” 

“I recommend starting with an apology,” Rhys joked but Azriel was hardly paying attention, already sending out his shadows to find his upset mate.

────────────

You were sitting on a hill that overlooked Velaris, running your fingers through the grass. This day had gone from bad to absolutely dreadful in the matter of a few minutes and now you were left reeling with the information that Azriel was your mate. A mate that had kept the bond secret from you. A mate that obviously didn’t want you.

He had said so to Elain. He didn’t think you were pretty or kind or great. It all made sense now, how much he had avoided you in the past. He didn’t want you to figure it out, didn’t want the bond to snap for you. You let out a sigh, drawing your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on them.

A light breeze of wind ruffled your hair forward as someone appeared behind you. You didn’t bother turning around, already recognizing that familiar smell of cedar and night-chilled mist. Cassian must’ve let him know that the cat was out of the bag and now Azriel was likely here to beg you to reject him.

“You know, I’ve lived in Velaris nearly my whole life but I’ve never been up here before today.” Azriel’s deep voice broke the silence. “That’s a beautiful view of the city.”

“I know,” you answered, quietly, your voice hoarse from crying. “It’s why I come up here.”

“Do you come here often?” His voice was closer this time and his shadows began to whisk through your hair and under your arms, much like they always did when in your presence.

“Only when I’m upset,” you sighed, blinking away more tears.

There was a moment of silence before Azriel spoke again. “I’m really sorry, Y/n. I did not intend for you to find out about the bond that way.”

“It’s alright,” you said, weakly. “It must’ve been hard finding out your mate is someone you don’t want. I know you’re here to ask me to reject it. I will do as you ask so you can continue on with your life.”

“No,” Azriel spit out quickly, stumbling closer to you. “No, I’m not here to ask you to reject it. I’m here to explain myself…I hate that this has made you so upset.”

He sat down next to you, mimicking your position. You kept your gaze forward, scared to see what you might find if you looked at him. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Azriel. I get it. I, um, I overheard you talking about me to Elain.”

“Rhys showed me what you overheard,” Azriel said, his wings flexing before the one closest to you curled around your form to block the wind. “I wish you had stayed just a second longer, Y/n, because I truly was not saying anything bad about you. I would never—”

“If that’s true then what were you doing? What did you mean when you said I wasn’t pretty or kind or great? What could that possibly mean other than what it seems to?”

“I said that because it’s true. You’re not pretty or kind or great, Y/n. You are beautiful, the most beautiful girl to ever step foot in this world. And you’re not just kind, you’re so much more than that. You are good. You have the heart of a true angel. You are so much more than those three words can describe. I never kept the bond from you because I didn’t want you. I kept it a secret because you deserve someone better,” Azriel confessed.

“And you don’t think you can be that someone for me, Azriel? You’re my Mother-given mate! You want to know something? I’ve always dreamt about finding my mate one day. Hoped that I would get to experience a love like that in my lifetime. And to find out—”

Your voice cracked, tears sliding down your cheeks.

“Please, don’t cry,” Azriel pleaded, taking your chin in his grasp, and turning your head to face him. He cupped your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away the tears. “I longed for the day I would find my mate. But when I finally found you after all these years, I…I didn’t know how to wrap my head around the fact that the Mother blessed me with you. You are so much more than I ever dreamed of. You are all that is good in this world. You bring happiness to every room you walk in. You’re smart. You’re beautiful. The last thing I wanted was to drag you down by shackling you to me.”

“What if it is you that I want? What if I want you to be that person? Did you ever consider that might be a possibility? Because let me tell you something, Azriel. You say I’m more than you ever dreamed of, but you are exactly who I’ve been dreaming of all these years. Someone calm, someone patient, someone good of heart. Someone I can feel safe around. Someone I can call home. What would you say to that?”

“Then I might say you’re an idiot for wanting me,” Azriel chuckled, still stroking your cheeks with his thumbs, staring down at you with those beautiful hazel eyes. “But then I’d probably get down on my knees and beg you for a second chance. To let me prove to you that you have my heart and soul. You have since the day I laid eyes on you.”

You stared up at him, eyes wide with your vulnerability. “And if I agreed to give you a second chance, what would you say?”

“I would say be ready by seven tonight so I can take you out and show you what a girl like you deserves,” Azriel breathed out. “What would you say to that?”

You laughed, the ache in your chest finally soothed. “I would say yes.”

Azriel smiled, a rare and breathtaking sight, before he stood and reached out a hand to help you off the ground. “Good. I was hoping you’d say that.”

You smiled back at him before finally taking his hand.

[upsidedownmvnson]

tell me you love me vol 2 | steve harrington

warnings: fluff, more pining

a/n: AHHHHHHHH thanks for the love

tell me you love me vol 1

Steve barely slept. He couldn't focus with you this close to him. He couldn't not love you anymore. And it was worse now, like the entire burden of knowing you love each other was crushing his chest. He wanted you to remember your conversation last night. He needed you to. But also, he didn't. What if you were just drunk? What if you thought your friendship was too valuable to risk?

It was already at risk... he sighed, giving up on trying to sleep and instead just laid with you. Steve couldn't fathom a world without you in it, he didn't want to live a life where he didn't see you every day. He needed you, more than he needed a girlfriend, maybe... maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Steve was in agony.

You shuffled in your sleep, groaning and stretching. The blankets kicked off in the night, and wrapped around your legs, and when you stretched he was forced to endure the torture of your beautiful half naked body. He couldn't look elsewhere, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you.

He had to get out of here.

The phone ringing was a good excuse to get out of bed, but he didn't know who the hell would be calling this early. It was quickly answered when he picked up only to be met with a word vomit of questions from Robin.

"I don't really remember but I think I just left y/n at the party," Robin was saying, "Is she there? Is she with you?"

"Yeah, she's here," Steve whispered, hoping he didn't sound as exhausted as he felt. "You left her sleeping, dude. Not cool."

"That's fucked," she said, disappointed in herself. "I was not thinking clearly, I woke up in a panic. But she's okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. She's still in bed," he said.

"Good, good. I'm really sorry, tell her I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, okay..."

"You okay, Steve? You sound weird."

"No, I'm fine I just..." he sighed, "Robin I can't pretend not to love her anymore. I just - I know it's bad to date in the friend group but... I love her."

"I know you do," she said, "I only said don't date her if you weren't sure. If you're sure then go for it."

"Really? Do you think... do you think it'll work?"

"I don't know," she answered, "but I know you guys are crazy about each other and it's probably time to find out."

Steve hung up the call after promising to tell you that Robin was sorry, very sorry. He didn't want to go upstairs, he still felt confused. Would you remember what you guys had talked about? Would you change your mind? He decided on breakfast, and got to work making some bacon and eggs, deciding he would wake you up when it was ready. But first, he needed coffee.

When you woke up in Steve's bed you were confused, and disappointed he wasn't there. What time was it? The clock read just after eight, and you could smell the breakfast cooking downstairs. You groaned, stretching as much as you could before contemplated getting up or just staying here.

You didn't really remember much after the party, it all got a little fuzzy when you first started falling asleep. You loved this bed, you were staying in this bed every time you stayed over from here on out. In fact, you were never leaving it.

Except the distant call of food being prepared made you get up. The least you could do was go lend a hand.

You tiptoed down the stairs, and tried to peak at Steve in the kitchen. He was still shirtless, drinking his coffee while leaning against the counter, shuffling scrambled eggs around lazily.

The sight of him made you sigh. The ache in your chest only grew with the sight. He was so beautiful, and he just looked so... boyfriend. You wished he could be yours, you wished that you could wake up to this more often.

"Good morning," you said, joining him on the main level.

"Morning," he said, smiling at you. But it was different, it didn't reach his eyes.

"Can I help?" you asked, padding over to him and looking at all the good stuff he had going on.

"No it's okay," he said, "I'm just about done. Make yourself a coffee."

You nodded. But his demeanor was bothering you. He was being cold, distant. He wasn't acting like himself. You wondered if you did something wrong.

"Do you uh, remember much about your party?" he asked, trying to seem casual but you could tell he was prying. Looking for answers about something.

"Most of it yeah," you smiled, sipping the hot coffee. "But I don't really remember leaving, or coming here."

And it would've been impossible to miss how Steve dropped his shoulders, clearly disappointed by your answer. You wanted to say something, but you forgot how to speak. You didn't know what to say.

"Do you want to plate everything?" he asked, slinking out of the kitchen. He mumbled some excuse about the bathroom, and left you alone, thinking about what happened last night.

Breakfast was quiet, save for the tv playing quietly in the background. This was typically your favourite kind of morning, lazily getting up at Steve's, making breakfast together, just hanging out. But the air just felt different today, he didn't want your sous chef help in the kitchen, and there was no charming banter. In fact, he barely looked at you.

When you finished he said, "I guess I should get you home," as if you didn't usually hang around all weekend, and added, "I just gotta change."

And he pushed away from the table, leaving his dirty dishes abandoned. So, you guess he didn't want your help do the dishes either? Something obviously happened, or he wouldn't be this cold with you. You felt your throat getting tight, and held it together as you gathered the dishes, bringing them over to the sink.

You both got dressed, with him loaning you some sweat pants to go with the big shirt you wore to bed so you didn't have to climb into your party outfit. It still reeked of booze.

"Did something happen, Steve?" you asked, unable to tolerate the uneasy air as you both slipped your shoes on. Maybe you... maybe you confessed your feelings to him, and he felt uncomfortable, you did this... Did you ruin everything?

"What?" he asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Uh, nothing," you muttered, not wanting to push his buttons. You didn't want to pry.

"Everything's fine, babe." He put his hand on your shoulder, letting it slide off, and back to his side. "Just a lot on my mind."

Even the drive was quiet, and the tension made you feel like crying. He had the radio playing quietly, but he just didn't seem like he was totally there. But still, every question got stuck in your throat. You guys didn't say a word until he was parked in your driveway, hands remained clutched on the wheel.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" you asked, hoping that your movie plans with Robin were even still on.

"Yeah, of course. I'll call you later..."

Now or never. "Is everything okay, Steve? You're being so quiet. I feel like you're trying to push me away."

He looked at you with those beautiful eyes, those beautiful, sad eyes and you could see his anguish, you could see there was something he couldn't say. Words were being left unsaid. Was he scared? What was he scared of? You thought... you really thought he could tell you anything.

"I'm fine," he said finally, giving you another small, fake smile.

You faked a smile, trying not to show that your heart dropped into your stomach. You had this painful fear that you'd told him that you loved him, and he'd wished you hadn't. What the fuck happened between the party and Steve's house? It was killing you. His pain was torture, and you wouldn't forgive yourself if you'd ruined the most important relationship in your life.

You nodded, and patted his leg before climbing out the car, shuffling inside before he could see how concerned you were about him.

You leaned on a wall near the door, just pondering what happened. You woke up in his bed, usually you slept in the guest room, or when you were really drunk you'd even crash on the couch. Did you being in his space make him unhappy? Maybe you were stubborn, refusing to leave his bed until he loved you. But, that didn't seem like something you would do.

A knock on the door kicked you out of your thoughts.

You opened it, and Steve was there, standing still, breathing heavy. When the door fully opened, he nearly sprung at you, not intimidatingly but like... like he couldn't stop himself from scooping up your cheeks in his hands and kissing you.

And Steve was kissing you like a starving man. Like this was the moment he'd waited for his whole life. He was soft, and tender but also desperate and passionate and you could feel everything. You could feel how he felt. Like you were one person. You kissed him back, taken by surprise but delighted. You loved him. And he loved you. And being together like this just felt right.

You moaned, unable to deny the sparks between the two of you for one more moment.

His lips were just so soft, and warm. And as his thumbs rubbed your cheeks soothingly, you thought for sure your knees would buckle from the romance of it all. You swooned, this was real life swooning.

"Tell me you love me," he whispered, barely pulling away to say it. You realize he's crying, barely, lightly, but he is, because this is the scariest thing he's ever done. He thinks that he'll perish, die if you don't actually love him back. And he's immediately returned to kissing you, backing you both up until your back hit the living room wall. "Please," he begged, breathless and desperate to hear it. He had to hear it. He was sure he would die if you didn't say it. He has to know he wasn't wrong to risk it all...

And everything came rushing back. Laying across from Steve, asking him if you were in love. Confessing your love for him and telling him him that you would still love him in the morning...

And you did.

Of course you did.

You think there's a part of you that has loved Steve since the moment you met.

He feels like home. Just being near him makes you feel safe, and comfortable. He was everything you needed, and you two were idiots to wait this long to confess. But, better late than never.

"I love you," you whispered, mumbling against his lips, returning his feverish kisses. His hands trailed down to your hips, gripping tightly and pressing himself into you. Trying to mold himself to you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him as close as he could get. He was a part of you, a part of your heart.

His tongue rolled into your mouth, and the grip he had on your hips tightened, making you moan again. And then he slowed, kissing you slowly. He sucked your bottom lip between his teeth, and pulled away, letting it slip out of his grip and back into place. He kissed you tenderly a few times.

"Say it again," he said, pulling back and resting his forehead against yours. It wasn't demanding, it was loving. He wanted to hear you say it over and over for the rest of his life.

You were breathless, but you still whispered, "I love you."

"I love you," he said, kissing you one more time. "I can't stop it, I don't want to stop it," he said. "I love you, y/n. And I want to be with you... if you'll have me."

"I love you Steve," you said, relieved that you could just love him without the longing, without the pining, and the hiding. You two were free.

"Again," he demanded, smiling, and the smile made it all the way back to his eyes. And he was himself again.

"Don't want to wear it out," you laughed, pulling him into a hug. And you held him there for a while.

"Never," he whispered, "I'll never get tired of it, I promise you that."

TAGLIST: @thebeatles-world @thatbItchs-world @plk-18 @pausmoon @onlyangle1

[misshoneyimhome]

can you write first time with jack hughes pls?? (fluff + smut) i love ur writing!!

Thank you, babe! And of course, I'm happy to give it a try 😉

I do sense that I'm gradually improving with these soft, smut stories, although I still have room to grow in this area 😅🤍

Moreover, I'm aware that I've done this kind of theme before, even featuring JH, but I hope it's still enjoyable to read 🌺

Tropes & warnings; friends to lovers, reader's first-time, virginity; 18+ smut, fingering, protected penetrative sex;

Word count; 4.5K

・✶ ｡ﾟ

The First Time | Jack Hughes 🖋️⚡️🌺

"How's it goooing? 😏" "JACK! Stop texting! I'm in the middle of a date here..."

"I know, just wondering how it's going 😈" "Seriously, don't you have anything else to do! 🙄" "Nah, just chilling at home 😉 Why are you even replying? Shouldn't you be talking to him?" "Ugh, you’re so annoying right now... but no, he's on the phone with someone 🙄" "Isn't that like the third call tonight 🤔" "Just the fact that you've noticed says something about how this date's going... 😒" "Sorry that sucks y/n... thought things were going well between you two 😕 you seemed pretty into him" "Yeah, well, turns out it's a one-way street 🙃"

Tonight, marked your fourth date with Ben; a young professional from New York who'd taken a keen interest in you since bumping into you at the library, where he’d confidently asked you out, and you’d happily agreed.

It had been a simple encounter. Just two young adults navigating life in the big city. Yet, your connections across the water also often had you traveling back and forth between your home and Newark, especially because of one person.

Jack Hughes had probably become your closest friend, since he unexpectedly came into your life when you were dating one of his friends. However, when that relationship fizzled out, you surprisingly ended up forming a bond with Jack instead of being left out in the cold. 

You never quite understood what went down between your ex and Jack, as it seemed like they had a falling out or something. But frankly, you didn't care – you felt like you came out of the break-up on top with your friendship with Jack.

Despite his own hectic lifestyle, he was always there for you, even on the most personal levels. Already right from the start, when you first met in your friend group, and later as you spent more time together before your relationship with your ex started to crumble, you felt a certain connection.

Jack tried to support both of you through the breakup, but when push came to shove, he ended up siding with you, which turned out to be the best possible outcome for you. As the social and caring person he was, Jack became your pillar of support, your rock whenever you felt low or unsure of yourself.

And in return, you stood by him through thick and thin in his hockey career. As his dear friend, you were always there at his games, ready to cheer him up after a tough loss.

"Maybe Ben's just nervous 😉 and he's getting advice from his friend on how to talk to you" "Do guys actually do that? 😅" "Some of them do 😂"

At this point, you'd lost track of how long Ben had been out on the balcony, deep in conversation on the phone. You felt your heart starting to race as nerves as suspicions crept in about the date. Despite the initial connection you shared, something felt off. And when things felt off, they usually were.

Deep down, you had a gut feeling about why he was acting this way. It was the same reason your ex had given for breaking up with you, and why other guys you'd dated had lost interest, though it was never explicitly stated. Just mentioning it seemed to make them pull away.

"Alright I think he's heading back now 🤞🏼" "Fingers crossed, babe!" "Jack... you can’t pull off ‘babe’ 😂" "What do you mean by that 😅"

And unfortunately, the date ended just as you'd feared, as Ben returned from his balcony call and gently explained that he wasn't interested in continuing to date.

For a moment, you felt a pang of hurt, thinking he actually liked you. But as you'd mentally prepared for this outcome, the disappointment faded quickly, and you simply gave him a sweet smile before he left your studio apartment.

"I'm giving up, Jack... I don't think there's anyone out there for me!! 😫🥺" "What? He ended things?? Whyyy?" "You know why..." "HE SAID THAT?? I'm gonna beat his fucking ass..." "Well, he didn't say it outright... but let's face it, Jackie... no one wants to date a 22-year-old virgin..."

There it was. The truth you didn't want to admit, but somehow it kept getting confirmed: You were still a virgin.

Despite being in a few relationships, you'd never quite reached that point. And now you were convinced it was the main reason for your breakups. With your ex - Jack's friend - you just didn't feel ready, and though he never explicitly said it, you sensed his impatience. Then every time you dated someone new, when they hinted at wanting sex, you had to explain your situation. And then they all seemed to lose interest.

It was the same story every time.

"Want me to come over?" "You don't have to... it's late and you have training tomorrow 💓" "That doesn't matter! You do, and I want to make sure you're okay, so I'm on my way over" "Then why even ask? 🙃"

-

It didn't take long before Jack arrived at your place, and soon enough, the two of you were comfortably lounging on the sofa, each at opposite ends, facing each other under a blanket.

"What a jerk," Jack chuckled softly as he tried to console you after yet another dating disappointment.

You looked down at your hands in your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. "I know... it's just..." You let out a deep sigh and glanced up at him. "I hate that it has to be such a big deal... I don't want it to be."

Jack seemed to grasp your frustrations. It wasn't that you lacked interest in men sexually; you just hadn't found the right person or the right moment to explore that aspect, and Jack understood that.

"They're all idiots, y/n/n... you deserve so much better! Don't let it get to you - you're amazing, and they're the ones missing out!"

His words were comforting, and you knew he wouldn't say them if he didn't mean it. But changing your mindset was easier said than done.

"I know, Jackie... I just - sometimes, I just want to get it over with, you know... so I wouldn't have to worry about it every time..."

"What? No, your first time shouldn't be something you just 'get over with,' y/n!" He responded quickly, prompting you to look directly at him.

"But why not?" you exclaimed, feeling defeated. "It's just sex - everyone's doing it all the time! With random people, whenever, wherever..." You tried to articulate your thoughts, but Jack was already quick with a response.

"Yes, but this is your first time... It's supposed to be a good experience and doing it with someone random just to get it over with probably won't be the best thing," Jack reasoned.

It was an odd discussion to be having with him. Were you really debating how, why, and with whom you should lose your virginity?

Letting out another sigh, you gave him a firm look. "Well, it's my body and my choice..." you spoke softly, earning an eye roll from the hockey player.

"Come on, y/n, don't be naive... It should be with someone who at least cares about you... Just, don't do anything stupid, alright."

"Oh, so now I'm stupid!" You retorted with a huff, crossing your arms defensively. "I think I can decide what I want for myself. Besides, it's not like you want to do it with me..."

As soon as the words slipped out, a rush of embarrassment washed over you. Though you knew it was just a joke, a small part of you felt a flutter at the thought. Yet you quickly brushed it off as ridiculous. That until Jack caught you off guard. 

"Says who?"

"What?"

You were taken aback. Did he really just say that?

"I said, who says I don't want to sleep with you?" He chuckled, sounding a bit mysterious, as if it were the most absurd question in the world.

"You - you want to - with me?" You almost stuttered, trying to process his words.

And Jack couldn't help but grin. "Of course, I mean, you're really hot and... I'm a bit more experienced... so."

The suggestion hung in the air as you contemplated it. Was this some kind of joke or bet?

"Jack... wouldn't that be weird? I mean, we're friends..."

"So?" Once again, he chuckled. "It's just an idea. Maybe it would be good for you to be with someone you know and who knows you. Someone you trust, who can make you feel comfortable."

And truth be told, it didn't sound half bad.

"Actually, I think it could be an interesting idea..." you admitted softly.

-

Jack didn't want to rush anything, as it was crucial to him that you felt comfortable with the pace.

However, as soon as you agreed to the idea, a surge of desire coursed through him. And when your lips met in a tender kiss, he felt a stirring sensation he hadn't anticipated.

Sure, he knew he liked you. But he hadn’t expected to be genuinely drawn to you like this. Yet perhaps, considering what was about to happen, it was a good thing that he felt the magnetism between you. 

You weren't just a casual hook-up. You were his close friend. And he was about to share an intimate moment with you for the first time, which he wanted it to be as close to perfect as possible.

Initially, he hesitated to proceed that evening, given the recent breakup and your likely vulnerability. However, as you talked it through, you expressed feeling in the mood, especially since you had hoped Ben might have been understanding and potentially your first time.

So, Jack agreed to it. Let's face it, he wasn't one to turn down sex, even if it was with you, his friend, and your first time. To him, it felt almost like a privilege, as he would be the one to make you feel amazing and ensure you had a good experience.

And as the two of you then slowly settled onto your bed, he made sure you always felt at ease.

He took his time kissing you deeply, allowing your mouths to explore each other as your hands tangled in his brown curly locks, feeling his naked chest against yours. He was almost painfully slow as he undressed you to your underwear, wanting to ensure it didn't feel rushed in any way. But as you grew closer and more engrossed in the moment, you found yourself becoming more intrigued and eager to discover how it truly felt.

And so far, it felt rather good.

Furthermore, you could tell that Jack was equally invested in the heat of the moment, his hand exploring your body as his lips remained locked with yours. Half lying next to you and half over you, clad only in his boxers, he was fully devoted and engaged. And while you, too, were half on your side, letting your leg wrap around his, both of you eager to pull each other closer.

It was in that very moment, you suddenly felt something you'd never experienced before; his hardness pressing against you.

You couldn't help but gasp as you felt how hard he was, realising that you were the cause of it. "Jack... you're... wow..."

And he couldn't suppress the grin at your slightly stunned remark. "Yeah, well, that's just what you do to me."

The moment was both tender and intense as Jack quickly resumed kissing you, but before long, he took the initiative to undress both of you completely. This was the first time you truly felt nervous in the moment. Despite feeling completely safe with Jack, you also felt exposed as your most intimate parts were suddenly bare to him.

"Try to relax..." he softly encouraged you, hovering over your body and engaging in yet another kiss. "Breathe slowly, and let me know if anything hurts..."

His voice was gentle and soothing, and you nodded gently to indicate your consent to proceed. But before fully engaging with you, Jack wanted to ensure your comfort and readiness for pleasure.

So, upon taking two of his long fingers into his mouth to moisten them slightly, he then slowly trailed them down between your bodies to find your core. He took his time, studying your face for any reaction, as you gasped lightly while his fingers met your sensitive flesh, tracing them up your moist folds. His eyes remained locked onto your face, and when he sensed you were comfortable with his touch, he carefully pressed a finger inside you.

"Oh..." you breathed softly, your eyes meeting his as you surrendered to his gentle touch.

"Does it feel good?" Jack asked with a soft smile, feeling your warmth and wetness as he slowly moved his finger in and out, delicately stimulating your walls.

"Mmm," you nodded, smiling as you felt the pleasure slowly building in your lower abdomen. And as Jack then gently pressed his second finger to join, you couldn't help but let out another gasp, feeling a slight stretch. "Oh, it's good," you moaned softly.

Jack felt a sense of pride as he watched the signs of pleasure play across your face. He had only taken a girl's virginity once before, and that was when he himself was inexperienced. But this time, he knew what he was doing, and he was determined to make it a memorable experience for you.

And as you moved your hands to his shoulders, your fingers lightly digging into his skin, he could tell he was eliciting a strong response from you. And he was right.

The way he moved his fingers in and out caused your walls to gently clench, the wetness making a sound with every gentle pump, as your mind spun with pleasure, your toes curling involuntarily and your breath growing erratic.

This must be what a pending orgasm felt like, you thought. You'd heard about it from your girlfriends, some more than others, but you'd never truly known what to expect. Yet here you were, squirming and panting as Jack pumped his fingers in and out of you, curling and scissoring, pushing you closer and closer to climax.

"Oh, Jack..." you murmured softly, urging him to increase his speed.

"Mmm... Do I make you feel good, baby?" he hummed seductively, growing more eager to push you to your peak, wanting to make you feel the incredible sensation of a high.

"Yes... yes..." you moaned louder and louder.

The feeling was intensifying, your vision blurring and your mind spinning. And as you dug your heels into the mattress, you finally let yourself surrender to the incredible sensation that was about to consume you.

"Jack... I think... I think I'm..." you cried out, not really sure how to express yourself. 

It was like a wave of pleasure coursing through your body, your eyes rolling back as you let go of all tension. Your nails marked his shoulders as you let out a loud moan, tightening your walls around his fingers as you were introduced to the new level of ecstasy.

"Oh, fuck..." you breathed out loudly as you slowly came down from the euphoric state, opening your eyes to meet Jack's satisfied grin.

"That felt good?" Jack asked, though he knew the answer already. Your moans spoke volumes, and the way your walls pulsed around his fingers confirmed it. So, as you then offered him a shy smile, he carefully withdrew his fingers from your core.

It had already been a wonderful experience, but you knew there was more to come. And Jack's hardness showed just as much anticipation.

"Y/n," he suddenly spoke, his voice low and tender. "Are you still sure about this?"

His concern was endearing, and it only made you smile and nod in confirmation. So, with that, Jack undressed himself completely, revealing his fully erect and proud manhood.

You gasped lightly at the sight, marvelling at how proud and eager he was, while a part of you wondered if it would fit. Yet you trusted Jack completely. He knew what he was doing, and you were more than comfortable letting him guide you.

And much to your comfort, he returned to the bed, hovering over you to share another deep kiss, melting away all the nervousness. Again, he took his time, letting your tongues dance as your fingers explored his hair, before breaking apart to let you catch your breath.

"The drawer," you softly spoke between deep breaths. "Condoms... are in the drawer."

You could almost feel the slight embarrassment as you admitted you'd been prepared for the potential outcome of the night - only the guy involved turned out to be different. But Jack only flashed a cheeky smile as he retrieved the small foil package and wrapped himself up, before returning to you in missionary position. Your hands settled on the back of his shoulders again, your legs spread wide and your heels digging into the mattress as you found a comfortable position.

"Just relax," he encouraged softly once more, before placing another kiss on your lips.

You then felt the tip of his member gently aligning with your entrance, and when Jack sensed you had your breath under control, he slowly and carefully pressed himself into you.

"Oooh..." you moaned as his cock stretched you further than his fingers had been able to. "Ffff, Jack."

Your voice cracked as he eased himself inside your warmth, stimulating your sensitive walls, while moans were cut off as you lost yourself in the sensation. It felt so fucking good.

"You're okay?" Jack inquired with a sly smile, though he didn’t need a verbal answer. Instead, you offered him another nod and a smile gracing your lips, and then he slowly pulled out his length before gently pushing back in, carefully finding a gentle rhythm for both of you to enjoy.

It was incredible. The feeling of Jack's cock massaging your insides felt nothing short of amazing. And as he rocked his hips in patient yet devoted motions, you couldn't find the words to describe the feeling.

Your breaths were incoherent, your fingers digging into his shoulders as he thrust slowly and passionately into you. While Jack, too, felt a surge of pleasure as your tight walls hugged his length.

"Oh shit, babe, you're so tight... Mmm, it feels so good around my dick," he muttered under his breath as your unintentional clenching brought you both closer to climax.

Jack wasn't usually one to finish quickly, but with his busy hockey schedule and lack of frequent releases, your tightness effortlessly made him see stars, causing the pleasurable rush to arrive sooner than anticipated.

His panting mirrored yours as he slowly picked up the pace, assuming your comfort and pleasure by your moans. Your heat was beyond wet, and it was growing increasingly difficult for him to hold back, while his fingers clenched into the sheets beneath you, his mind spinning as your moans harmonised.

"Oh Jack... Mmm..." you cried under your breath as his movements intensified, another orgasm slowly forming within your body. You had long given up on controlling your breathing, and as you curled your toes again, your cunt dripping with juices, you knew you were about to experience another rush of pleasure.

The room was incredibly hot, filled with the sounds of your moans mixing with Jack's steady thrusts and the faint squeaking of the mattress. But at this point, you didn't care if anyone else could hear you. All that mattered was how close you both were to reaching your peaks.

Jack tried his best to maintain a slow and romantic pace, occasionally returning to kiss you passionately, keeping his motions steady and deliberate. However, as the intensity increased with every moan and every thrust, and you both felt the incredible connection between your bodies, it was difficult to hold back. And soon, he found himself lost in the moment, thrusting with more fervour than intended while you became a heated mess beneath him.

"Oh my... I- I- I'm coming... Ja- Mmm..." It was almost too much for you to handle as Jack pushed you closer and closer to the edge again. And this time, it felt more intense than before. This time, you were sure you were about to experience the feeling so many women raved about.

With every thrust, your legs trembled, your mind spun, and your toes curled. Your nails left creative marks as Jack increased his speed once again, pounding harder and more intensely than before.

And not only did those actions push you closer to your peak, but Jack too felt his own climax approaching, causing him to squint his eyes and bite his lip.

"Oh yes... baby, mmmm come for me..." he urged in a deep grunt, his hips slamming harder against yours, his cock hitting you deep with every motion. "Fuck, come with me..."

And it didn't take anything else for him to push you over the edge, into the ecstatic high as the orgasm coursed through you, sending you into overdrive. Meanwhile, your tightness around his length had him following suit, letting out a deep groan as he released himself into the condom and panted deeply into the crook of your neck.

There was a long moment of silence, only the sounds of your heavy gasps as you both calmed from the intense pleasure. Jack remained in position for a little while longer, relishing the wonderful feeling you'd created in the heated moment. Meanwhile, you slowly opened your eyes only to be greeted with Jack's signature smile.

Everything felt like a dream. How amazing your body felt right now, how high your mind was after this, was so far from anything you'd been able to imagine. And as the two of you met in a tender gaze, you couldn't contain your light, satisfied chuckles.

"So..." Jack spoke huskily. "Did it feel alright?"

You could barely even reply, yet your body spoke loud enough on its own, while you flashed him an almost worn-out smile, and nodded again. "Definitely... Jack, it was amazing."

And that was only putting it mildly.

As you both rode out the orgasms, Jack slowly and carefully withdrew his member from your core, leaving you with a slight void sensation as he made his way to the bathroom to discard the condom. However, it didn’t take long before he returned, snuggling under the covers with you.

It was an amazing feeling to have Jack close to you, despite the heat you’d both generated from the sexual activity. Yet, it made you feel at ease and comfortable in his arms as he pulled you closer. And as the soft noise of the street sounded in the background, the two of you simply enjoyed the aftermath of your very first time having sex.

"Thank you," you softly spoke, your voice barely above a whisper as you couldn’t suppress a smile.

"You don’t have to thank me, y/n..." Jack chuckled, propping his head onto his elbow as he admired your face.

"Of course, I do, Jack. Seriously, you’ve made me feel so good! And now, I feel so much more comfortable about having sex... I mean, I can date without having to worry that guys won’t want to be with me because I’m a virgin," you spoke with confidence as you turned to your side and offered him a smile.

However, unbeknownst to you, your words pricked a little at Jack's emotions. "Wait, what?" he questioned, caught off guard by the unexpected revelation.

“Well, now that I’m not a virgin anymore, hopefully it won’t scare the next guy away…” you remarked casually, unaware of the impact your statement had on Jack.

His stomach twisted slightly at your words. “Oh, yeah, right…” he replied, attempting to downplay his reaction as he shifted to lie on his back.

You then lifted yourself up, and a puzzled expression crossed your face. “Jack, what’s wrong?” you inquired, sensing his unease.

Releasing a deep sigh, Jack stared into space, before turning to look at you. “Come on, y/n, you know I’ve always had feelings for you…”

You were taken aback. “Again, what?”

“What do you mean what? That’s why y/ex/n and I don’t talk anymore - didn’t you know that?” Jack explained, hints of light frustration evident.

“Honestly, Jack... I had no idea what you’re talking about - did you really... argue over me?” you asked, incredulous at the revelation.

"Of course! When he told me he was going to break up with you because you said you weren’t ready to have sex and he didn’t want to wait, I told him I thought he was being by a complete dick head, I mean, you’re so amazing and if you want to wait, he shouldn’t pressure you into anything…”

Your silence spoke volumes as Jack recounted the details, assuming you were aware of the situation. Yet your perplexed expression mirrored your inner turmoil.

“Wait, you really didn’t know that?” Jack's own bewilderment surfaced, prompting a gentle shake of your head in response.

“N-no… I mean… I can’t believe you did that…” Your voice wavered as the weight of his confession settled between you.

In that moment, Jack realised he’d admitted something unexpected, something he never anticipated revealing to you. 

But it was all true. Your ex's betrayal, Jack's futile attempts to reason with him, and the ultimatum that ensued. And in the end, Jack chose to stand by you, drawn to your kindness and genuine nature.

“Yeah well…” Jack attempted to mask his vulnerability with a casual laugh, though his true feelings were already exposed. “I guess I just… like you, y/n/n,” he admitted, offering you a shy smile.

It took a few moments for the revelation to sink in. So, this wasn’t solely about sex? There was more depth to this connection, you realised. And as the true nature of the encounter dawned on you, your own emotions stirred within.

With a radiant smile gracing your lips, you closed the distance between you and Jack, sharing a tender, romantic kiss with the remarkable boy lying beside you.

“I like you too, Jack,” you confessed softly, your eyes brimming with joy as they locked with his in another sweet moment.

“Really?” he asked, a hint of surprise colouring his tone at the unexpected mutual admission.

“Mmm,” you nodded gently. “I guess I just didn’t realise it... maybe I didn’t want to admit it, thinking you wouldn’t be interested in me,” you confessed, baring your own deeper thoughts.

And as the two of you then shared your innermost desires, a new energy filled the room; one of genuine emotion and romantic connection.

Drawing himself up, Jack pressed his forehead against yours, a smile spreading across his face as he too savoured the sweetness of the moment.

“Well, then I hope that maybe I can also be your second time…”

Your stomach fluttered at his words.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you grinned. “On one condition though…”

“Anything?” Jack replied eagerly.

“Admit that the ‘babe’ thing still doesn’t work for you,” you teased, a playful chuckle escaping your lips.

"We'll see about that," Jack replied with a playful smirk, the hint of a challenge in his tone.

[anadiasmount]

what could’ve been - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: based on this request! brother bsf! after a heavy international loss, jude can only cope and receive comfort from his bsf little sister in her arms despite someone walking in on them…

wc: 1.7k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa🗣️: WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I RECEIVED THIS!! ik it’s not the longest but still filled with heavy and forbidden touches with jude 😵‍💫🤭 like always hope you enjoy! 🤍

you felt torn apart. feeling limb by limp being swept away as you try to cope with the realization they were kicked out to their deserved semi-finals. you couldn’t hear the commotion around you, feeling drips of water fall on you from some fans angry or happily celebrating, only blinking rapid to see if what happened was real or not.

you sunk into the seat, hands covering your face as you felt the need to be pushed into a dark corner and never come out. you felt pity, remorse and overwhelmed with the sight of your brother and his teammates crouched on the floor or wiping their tears away.

you felt for them. it wasn’t a easy match, one of the heaviest tournaments and going against the winner of the last world cup didn’t help. they had a strong team, they had it in the bag before all hell broke loose. one minute you cheered, then next you were trying to hold the choked sobs your body begged to be let out.

you could only stare around with tearful eyes and a heavy pain in your chest as you looked around the stadium before your eyes finally landed on them. your brother consoling jude who tried to control his tears, hugging each other tight almost afraid to let go.

you stayed in your spot, waiting for your brother to appear and come up to the stands. “i genuinely don’t know what to say,” your mom says quietly. you nod agreeing with you, feeling as she hugged your side and brought her to you. “maybe it’s best we leave him, he’ll come to us like he always does when he’s ready to talk,” you reply, bitting your lip to hold back your tears.

you saw your brother send the three of you a quick wake and kiss, shaking his head in dissatisfaction he didn’t want to speak and wanted to be left alone. jude trailed behind him, locking eyes with yours, feeling a familiarity in your tummy as he gave you a sad smile and wave. you reciprocated the action, seeing him whisper a “thank you for being here.”

you felt the first tear and then the one roll down your cheek onto your england jersey, being pushed away into the tunnel back into a reality you dreaded. you felt pissed and angry at the opposing teams fans who cheered loudly as they walked into the shuttles. earning some laughters or side remarks when all you wanted was to go in a tuck into your sheets.

your brother hadn’t checked in yet, so you’d decided to stay up a bit longer knowing he tended to go on walks after rough loss to clear his head. plus you could also imagine the squad comforting each other, and wanting to be there for everyone. you were grateful for that and their ability of having a brotherhood when it most mattered.

while you could also feel for your brother, you randomly began thinking of jude as well. the defeated and obvious sad look on his face as he processed the match. one of englands most youngest talented players at their first world cup and their luck being this.

you and him had a small history. he often came over a lot when they had time off. during those times when left alone a small friendship was built. either to talk about life, seeking advice, music you commonly shared, or when the group decided to leave both of you out.

you felt the need to distance yourself from him after the unexpected makeout session you had in your bedroom. he was your first kiss and it left a forever mark inside you. you knew it was wrong and the last thing you wanted was your brother cutting a long-standing friendship because of it. jude was hurt, eyes always roaming you when he came over and always trying to speak to you.

from jude:

please let me in.

your eyes immediately went wide when you saw him text you to open the door. frantically looking around when you heard the door knock, you quickly looked in the mirror and took deep breaths. this was the last thing you expected to happen especially tonight. your sweaty hand opened the door revealing a teared eyes jude with his nike tech set on.

you let him in, lips pursed not knowing what to say or even debating to say anything. you shifted your weight from one foot to another, you met his eyes, drowning in the rapidly as they never detached from yours. he let out a deep breath or sigh, eyes fluttering as his voice croaked.

he sat on the edge of the bed taking a deep gulp before speaking. “i didn’t know where else to go…” he looked around the room and his body language was refusing to deny what happened. "jude," you whispered quietly taking a small step. you saw his eyes watery looking at you, "can y-y-you just hold me?"

you immediately rushed to him, his head coming to your stomach as his hands wrapped around you. you let him hold you, hearing his loud sobs muffled as you tried to be strong for him. your hands rubbed the top of his shoulders, the other scratching the nape of his neck to comfort him.

you kneeled to his level, holding his face in your hands as you stroked away his tears, jude refusing to let you go as he controlled his breathing. "we can talk about it if you want? but if a quiet setting is what you need i understand too..." you say, thumb tracing his cheeks.

"can we cuddle on the bed? i think i'm ready to talk about it," jude replies, grabbing your hands and placing kisses all over them. you did as you asked, jude laying on top of you as we spoke for almost an hour about how he felt and how things could've gone differently.

you listened, continuing to hold him stroking his back and scratching to soothe his cries or stutters. you didn't interrupt once, wanting him to have the floor to relieve his pain and let his feelings known. you could hear the frustration, tiredness, anger, and disappointment but overall the sadness in his voice.

after a quick share of words and laughter before jude fell asleep, his arms tightly around you as he slept peacefully. you pushed away any feelings, wanting to be there for him when he most needed it. it didn't matter what happened in the past or how you felt for him, he needed consolation and you were grateful he was here with you.

"what the hell is this?!?!" you struggled to open your eyes, feeling the heavy weight on top of you still. you saw your brother standing, before throwing away the sheets that covered both of you. "y/n i swear to god. you two cant be serious right now!"

"please relax its not what it looks like," you said trying to explain the situation, as you stood up and jude as well. " 'it's not what it looks like' my ass! hes my best friend y/n! and here you guys are together and cuddled it up," your brother winced at the end, pacing back and forth with his fists clenched.

"i came here looking to talk with someone! nothing happened i swear! we ended up falling asleep," jude defended, earning an angry look from your brother. "yeah you on top of here like some sort of couple, explain that."

"you're overreacting! nothing happened, period. he was looking for comfort and wanted to talk about what just happened, we talked just that," you say frustrated, becoming pissed at your brother for making up assumptions. jude looked at you with sorry eyes, for getting you into this mess.

"y/n, you don't understand, he's my best friend-"

"you think i don't know that? i know he is, and you're my brother, you weren't the only one who lost tonight. we gave you the space you asked for, and jude is practically like family, so i will be here for him when he asks," you say, watching your brother scoff and give you a look of denial.

"jude you could've gone anywhere else! why her? my sister?" your brother ignored you, coming close face to face with jude. it stung you, hearing him sound almost disgusted of you. "everyone else has families, and they're with them. i had no one besides you and her," jude tried to reason again.

"and you chose her? were best friends jude-"

"i needed her! there i said it! i don't care what you or other people say, i needed y/n tonight. you weren't even here, you took those walks to clear your head and the last i wanted was to stress you out after tonight. i love your sister so much," jude confessed making you gasp and step in front of the two of them.

"i think we should-" you try to intervene as the scene becomes loud in the room, afraid it would wake up others and them going to complain.

"what?" your brother deadpans at jude.

"i said i love her. i have and for so long. and tonight the only person i wanted to see and needed was her. so i'm sorry if that upsets you and for saying it now, but i can't hold my feelings inside any longer," jude says. you're afraid to speak, feeling like a kid all over again about to get scolded for doing the wrong thing.

"i can't believe this," your brother sneers, shaking his head in disappointment and walking away. you call out for him crying trying to resonate but met with the door shutting close. "he hates me. he hates me," you say to yourself, hand coming to your heart as it beats loudly and fast.

"he doesn't hate you, he hates me for falling in love with you. this isn't anyone's fault, we can't control our emotions or feelings let alone let other people control ours, y/n. i said what i said because it's true, im so madly in love with you, baby." jude brushed your tears away, kissing your forehead in a comforting manner.

"jude-" you speak but jude asks you a question that leaves you hesitant about whether to confess how you feel for him or protect your heart to make your brother and everyone happy.

"are you in love with me?"

[roosterforme]

Beer Boy and Sugar: The Second Lost Year (Bradley Bradshaw x Reader)

Part of the Lost Years series for Beer Boy and Sugar

Warnings: language, longing, angst (series fits chronologically between Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time)

Banner by @mak-32

Year Two

Bradley dropped down on his bed and started to untie his boots while Nat looked around at everything on his desk. They were both about to start flying solo now, and it was such a relief that she was advancing in the program with him. It brought him a little bit of joy every time they left the others in the dust.

"I always liked this thing," she remarked, poking his Navy desk lamp as he set his boots under his bed. "You said it was your dad's, right?"

"Yeah. Makes it vintage," he replied with a grin as he lounged back on his pillows, already thinking about dinner in the mess hall. It was hot as hell outside, especially by Rhode Island standards, and it made him miss Virginia a little bit. "Are you ready for dinner?"

She groaned. "It's too hot to go outside and walk all the way to get food. Your air conditioner works better than mine, too. Can't we just stay in here?"

His stomach growled as he said, "All I got is some protein bars and instant mac and cheese. And I'm starving."

Nat started to poke at the book he was currently reading as she said, "I'll order us a pizza."

This was something he'd never get used to, even though he considered her his best friend. She always seemed to have money from her parents, and he had basically nothing. But she continually offered to share her food with him. Bradley wasn't exactly sure what he brought to this friendship, but she seemed to enjoy having him around, so he didn't bring it up.

"Fine," he agreed.

This seemed to make her happy as she fished her phone out of her pocket. "You want your usual topping choice?"

Bradley froze with his fingers pushed back in his messy hair. At first, he always ordered his pizza that way, because that's how you liked it. Now Nat thought it was his preference. But maybe it actually was?

"Yeah," he replied softly. "Please." 

Then he listened to her call it in while his thoughts drifted back to Virginia. He hadn't seen or heard from you in fourteen months, but he'd thought about you every single day. It hurt a little less now, but all the feelings were still there. He still looked at all the pictures he had saved on his phone. He thought about you when he touched himself. He still hadn't slept with anyone else since you.

"Why would you keep a differential equations notebook from UVA?" Nat mused, but he was barely listening to her as he thought about your body curled up against his while you wore his Grateful Dead shirt. "Did you even take advanced math?" 

When he finally registered what she said, he sat up in his bed and saw her holding your purple notebook. The one with all the doodles and love notes in the margins, and he felt like he was back in the study room with you on his lap. The breath was knocked from his lugs as a sheet of loose, folded paper fell onto her lap, and she picked it up and started to read it out loud.

"Dear Beer Boy, 

I'm bored in my calculus lecture, and I just started thinking about your bedroom door. It's still the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. Maybe you and I could wait until the middle of the night when all of your fraternity brothers are asleep and sneak out into the hallway and-"

Bradley lunged out of bed and grabbed the note from her hand before she could see the rest. "What the fuck, Nat? That's personal!"

Her dark brown eyes were as wide as saucers as she said, "That was from her."

He knew she was kind of mystified by you, given that he only shared details of the happiest months of his adult life sparingly. She always asked for more information when he mentioned you, always wanted to know more. But Bradley felt like the magic would wear off the more he talked about you, so he always kept it brief. He also knew he wasn't going to get away with saying nothing right now.

"Yeah," he grunted, taking the purple notebook from her hands and returning the folded note to the back pages. The sight of your handwriting filled him with a deep need for you. "And this was her notebook."

Nat's voice was gentle, as if she was trying not to spook him when she asked, "Why did she like your door so much?"

Bradley closed his eyes and laughed quietly. "I painted over all the other girls' names and phone numbers. For her. Or for myself. I don't really know anymore."

Now her eyes were narrowed when he looked at her again. "'All the other girls'. Holy shit, Bradshaw. Were you some sort of fuckboy in college?"

He leaned back against his pillows again as he groaned, "Basically." He didn't really like thinking about it, because that hadn't been him for a long time now. "Before Sugar."

She took her phone out again, and Bradley desperately wished the pizza would arrive so this conversation could end. But Nat asked, "What was her last name again? I want to know exactly what she looks like."

He whispered the word, loving the feel of it on his tongue as he took his own phone out. He located the picture of him with his arm around your shoulders that Dev took the week before graduation. Your smile was too pretty, and your face was too perfect. There was a reason he had to limit himself, and the onslaught of feelings was proof of why: He wasn't over you yet.

"Here," he muttered, stretching his arm out to hand his phone to Nat, but she gasped as she looked at her own phone.

"She's gorgeous. I found her Instagram account."

"You did?" he asked, launching himself off of the bed and forcefully switching phones with her. She gasped again as she looked at the photo on his phone, but Bradley was too busy staring at the tiny thumbnail of your smiling face. Your account was set to private, but this photo must have been more recent. Your hair was styled differently, and the only thing he could process was that he felt relieved you were posing alone instead of with some other guy. He didn't want to have to put a face to that.

He thought about taking a screenshot and texting it to himself, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. And when Nat asked if he wanted her to send you a friend request, he said absolutely not. "You think I want her to know I still think about her every day? No."

Then she said, "But maybe she still thinks about you." 

Bradley didn't see how that was a possibility.

The pizza finally arrived just then, and Nat stood to go get it. She gave him a cautious hug and said, "I think she would be proud of you." She left him alone with both phones in his hands, and somehow he knew it would be easier to talk about you now if he wanted to.

------------------------

It was mind blowing. Three months ago, Chicago was freezing cold and practically encased in ice. Now it was blazing hot to the point that you couldn't get any relief unless you were inside your dorm room. It was Friday, thank goodness. Everyone in your graduate studies group wanted to go out for deep dish pizza tonight, and you had to figure out a way to stop sweating long enough to actually get dressed in something other than the shorts and tank you were wearing now.

You groaned as you carried your computer and textbooks across campus in your backpack. You had the highest grades out of all of the math graduate students, but you still took everything with you everywhere in case you had some extra time to study. But you should have left everything in your room instead on this sweltering day.

The quad was packed with tables and students participating in a career fair, but for some reason, this was where Jared asked you to meet up. Four dates with him, and you still weren't convinced it was a good idea to take things out of the friend zone. Four dates, and you still didn't really want to do anything besides kiss him. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with him, he just wasn't exactly right.

"Hey!" 

As soon as you heard Jared calling out for you, your initial reaction was to hide. You were absolutely going to have to tell him you didn't want to see him anymore, and it mostly made you mad that it would probably disrupt your friend group. 

"Hi," you replied as he squeezed through the crowd to get to you. And then he slipped his sweaty hand in yours, and you actually cringed. Why wasn't this what you wanted? After nearly a year, he wore you down enough that you gave it a try, but this was decidedly bad. Especially since you could picture exactly what you did want.

When you looked up at Jared's face, your gaze drifted to your left. You gasped and dropped his hand immediately. There were recruiters from the Navy. They were wearing flight suits. You caught a glimpse of wavy brown hair and a flash of dark eyes, and you were off.

Jared was calling after you as you fought through the crowd, catching glimpses here and there of broad shoulders and a handsome smile. Oh my god, he was here. Somehow, he was here. Like he'd just climbed out of your dreams and into the University of Chicago campus. 

"Bradley!"

Your voice rang out, but he didn't fully turn your way. You rushed a little faster, no longer caring if you knocked someone into one of the tables. 

"Bradley!"

But you stumbled as you reached the recruiters, and your smile evaporated from your lips. Tears stung at your eyes as he turned to face you, leaving your heart filled with disappointment. 

"Hey, there. I'm Lieutenant Chapman," he said with a grin, and you honestly didn't know how you could have been mistaken. His eyes were hazel, and his hair was too curly, and now you were standing there feeling like you'd just broken your own heart all over again. The disappointment could smother you if you let it.

You nodded and turned away as sweat dripped down your chest and an awful feeling settled into your stomach. You made your way back through the crowd at a much slower pace with no real desire to talk to Jared, but you reached him all too soon.

"What happened?" he asked, grabbing your hand again.

You looked at the ground and tried to hide your tears as he squeezed your hand tighter. "Sorry. I thought I saw an old friend."

He just made an impatient noise and asked, "You ready to go get changed and grab some pizza with everyone else? I thought we could ditch them early and maybe go back to my room and watch a movie? And like hang out... on my bed?"

His voice was distressingly hopeful. You wanted to say no. You knew you should. But you kept your eyes fixed on the ground as you said, "Sounds good," with almost no conviction. You wanted to get past this, so you needed to actually start trying.

-----------------------

Make it stop hurting. Or don't. I don't know. They must both already know they belong together. Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in the rest of this series!

@beyondthesefourwalls @thedroneranger @cherrycola27 @sorchathered @mamachasesmayhem @attapullman @bobgasm @desert-fern @startrekfangirl2233 @shanimallina87 @sylviebell @wkndwlff @horseslovers2016 @sadpetalsstuff @schoollover @jessicab1991 @lex-winchester @bellaireland1981 @sagittarius-flowerchild @marvelouslyme96 @trickphotography2 @goldenseresinretriever @rascallyrascals @auroracaroline @nerdgirljen @redbarn1995 @theweekndhistorybook @averyhotchner @moon42flight @eli2447 @lyn-js @na-ta-sh-aa @mygyn @je-suis-prest-rachel @kcloveswrestling @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @callsign-magnolia @eternalsams @lynnestra44 @shinzowosasageyoooo @tgmreader @princessofglitterland @backupbrii @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @averyhotchner @hookslove1592 @callsigns-haze

[lure-of-writing]

Never been good enough

Authors note: I haven't written in forever so please forgive me if this isn't the best but I would love to hear what you think!

Summary: You would never be good enough for Ariel

Word Count: 2.3k Warnings: Arguing, curse words, mentions of death, Elain slander, Tamlin makes an appearance

Part two: Left in regret

Part three: Why can't We?

There was always something so enticing about Azriel that you could never put your finger on. To simply put it he was fascinating. Being a part of the inner circle for as long as you have meant that you put your feelings for him aside, did what you thought was best for the group. Not only that but Azriel never gave you any signs that he was interested in you and there was no way you would let him know about your feelings. What if you guys dated and it didn't work out? Or worse, what if you told him and he didn’t feel the same way? These types of thoughts made a home in your head and they made it a point to consistently remind you that Azriel would only ever be a friend. But hey, better a friend then nothing at all, Right?

That was until Rhysand met Feyre and in turn met Nesta and Elain. This is where your downfall began. You were truly happy for your high lord and new high lady but could have done without her sisters. Nesta was always ready to pick a fight and tear you down with her words as if she were some wild animal backed into a corner that would bite if you tried to pet it. The comparison wasn’t far off, she basically was a wild animal. Elain on the other hand was, well, contemptible at best. From what you knew Elain was basically loved by all in the inner circle but you. There was just something about her that irked you to your core. In a world that praised the strong and belittled the weak, her innocence bothered you. Why did Feyre have to do everything for her sisters, especially the middle one? As an older sister yourself you would have made any sacrifice necessary to protect your little sister. In fact you did. Maybe that's why you resented the middle sister. 

Before the new additions were made to your family life was perfect, before under the mountain of course, the group was a perfectly balanced number and each person had their person. Rys with Armen, Mor and Cassian, you and Azriel. The group would spend long days giving each other a run for their money with stupid bets and at night you would have an even longer night getting drunk at ritas, but ever since Ryhsand met Feyre things changed almost instantly. It was like the people you once knew completely changed over night. You still knew who they were to their core but you didn’t recognize who they had become. 

Cassian bowed to an unwavering, impolite, ungrateful human turned fae also known as Nesta, he was willing to die for someone who would never give the time of day to even acknowledge that he existed. Amren found company in her ruthlessness, found friendship and understanding in her unbothered face. 

Mor found sisterhood among the complexities of healing with Feyre, through the grief and joy and thousands of other emotions one feels when finding themselves after trauma.

Ryhsand found his mate, the one he never thought he would meet. The one he was willing to die for as long as that meant she was safe.  

Azriel saw the need to protect someone as delicate as Elain. So he did. 

And you, you found a changed group of people before your very own eyes. 

“Azriel can I please hold the fancy special dagger?” the Shadowsinger simply stares at you from the other side of the ring. Today had been training day for everyone excluding Amren, if you asked her she would say it didn’t pertain to her, and while the boys took turns sparring you were teaching Mor a new fighting technique you learned recently. “No” the short answer was no surprise to you at all. “Why not? I even said please and I never say please” the inner circle could not wait to witness this scene unfold for this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence but considering that you were Azriels favorite amongst the group even if he refused to say it, they thought that maybe one day you would wear him down enough to the point where he lets you hold the truth teller. “y/n I have never let anyone hold that dagger and you will not be the first. You are more than capable of handling yourself without my blade.” “Exactly I am more than capable of handling a dagger Azriel. One day I will get the truth teller in my hands just you wait.” he simply raised his shoulders in a shrugging manner as if to say “yeah I’m not concerned”

To say you were surprised that Azriel gave Elain the truth teller would be an understatement but honestly you should of seen it coming. Not even a few days before he was rushing into the hybern camp to save Elain without any second thought. There was never a time in the five hundred years where Azriel threw himself into a situation like that where he didn’t at least take some time to plan everything out. As a spy yourself you knew that at least having a fraction of a plan could save your life but it appeared Arizel was willing to die to save her. Feyre's sister be damned. So to watch from afar as he handed over his dagger to inexperienced hands was truly a gut wrenching experience. How could your closest friend of literally hundreds of years spend his potentially last moments with someone who was basically a stranger instead of a true friend? It was a revealing moment, it either showed how kind he was to try and help a defenseless person have a means to defend themselves if the time came where it was needed or he truly had changed and no longer cared for you. You would have your answer sooner than you had hoped. 

For as long as you have existed you were trained as a spy for the cover up of an  assassin. It made you as deadly as anyone else in the inner circle, maybe even deadlier since no one ever saw their death by your hands coming. So when the time came to go to war you were ready. The Battle was bloody and ugly and cruel. It was long and it felt never ending for every body you cut down it seemed there was ten more to replace it. When you watched as Cassin dove from the sky just as the cauldron unleashed its power amongst the world, the fight seemed hopeless. How were you supposed to win when hybern had that kind of power to be used whenever the king wished? But as a warrior in your own right you just wished that when you died upon this battle field that it wasn’t for nothing. That everyone in your family made it home by the end of this war, you may not recognize your family anymore but they meant the world to you and you just wanted them to be safe no matter the cost. 

Seeing help arrive re-established your hope that Hybern wouldn’t win and it pushed you to fight that much harder but the renewed sense of vigor made you lose focus and that was your downfall. A hybern soldier came charging at you with the anger of a thousand suns and sliced your stomach in one quick motion and before you knew it you were one the ground bleeding out. 

The inner circle was checking on Cassian when an unexpected figure came walking in with your limp body in their arms. “Oh gods, y/n!’’ Mor was the first to stand up and gawk at you in Tamlins arms before the healers directed him to a place where they could properly work on you. Nothing was said as the healers started working, as the inner circles' minds were racing and as Tamlin was leaving. “Thank you” Tamlin didn’t even stop to acknowledge Rhysands form of gratitude. Azriel was the first to speak “How did we forget about her?” no one had an answer.  

Once back in Velaris with your healing underway you could tell that something was off within the group besides the obvious effects of a battle like that and a gut feeling told what it was. You could feel this sense of guilt every time you stepped foot into a room and you knew it was that they forgot about you, they never said that they did but while you were unconscious you could hear everything, and what you heard broke your heart. You were becoming an outsider in your own family. 

You watched day by day as Amren bickered with Nesta, Ryhsand flirt with Feyre and cassian with Nesta, watched as Elain and Azriel danced the line of lovers and watched as you were slowly distanced from the group but it all came to a head after a heated argument with Elain. You were sick and tired of her acting like she was helpless when she wasn’t. She was cauldron made and she needed to start acting like it or else it would get someone killed or even herself. It happened on a training day. 

The sun was beating down on your tired body and the whisper of a breeze was doing little to help and listening to Elain ask Azriel for help was driving you up a wall. “Azriel can you help me? I don’t think I'm doing this right?”  all she was doing was stretching and she needed help with it? “For fucks sake Elain do you want him to spoon feed you and wipe your ass for you while hes at it?” Everyone stopped at your outburst and stared at you. Nesta looked like she was ready to rip off your face but Azriel beat her to it “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you watched as she shifted her body to be behind his as if she knew he would fight her battles for her. “What it means Azriel” you stalked into his space until you were face to face and watched over his shoulder and Elain moved to seek comfort between her sister and the high lord and you couldn’t help but scoff at her theatrics 

 “Is that all this group ever seems to do is baby her! She is not a child, she can handle herself. She doesn’t need you to teach her how to touch her toes Azriel but heaven forbid poor sweet Elain has to do something on her own for once. I mean my gods what aren’t you willing to do for her Azriel? Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you give her the truth teller?” Azriel was quick to interrupt “Is that what this is seriously about?” if looks could kill he would be dead because your glare is cutting him up into pieces “I wasn’t done. You gave her your dagger, you went into a hybern camp to save her, you answer her every single beck and call as if she's not fully capable of doing things for herself. You all enable this, every single one of you!” you point to every member of the inner circle “ And I have had enough of this bullshit! Its ridiculous! Elain loves to play sweet and innocent but really she just loves having people dote on her and not having to do anything herself.”  Everyone knew you were seething for they could see the redness creeping up your neck and into your face. And apparently you pissed off Elain

 “So what if Azriel did those things for me it has nothing to do with you so mind your own business.” you knew she wasn’t as nice as she seemed. “This has everything to do with me! I used to be his best friend, me! Not you! I watched everyone change when your family came along and it ruined mine! I have been in love with Azriel since the day I met him and yet I’ve had to watch him fall for you, who he hasn’t even known for two seconds! I heard him say that they forgot about me on the battlefield after hybern! So yes this is about me, I am an outsider in my own family!” The silence was deafening after watching you fight to speak through your tears and cracking voice. No one dared to move for fear of upsetting you even more or maybe it was the weight of your words keeping them in place. Azriel went to place a hand on top of your shoulder but you were quick to step out of his reach. “Y/n I had no idea you felt that way” again you couldn’t help but scoff “Of course not because you were too busy with sweet Elain to notice anything else.” he shook his head as if in a silent no “I am so sorry that we forgot about you there is no excuse it should of never happened. I-we never knew you felt this way, felt like you were being pushed away. But y/n why didn’t you ever tell me that you had feelings for me?” something broke in Azriels heart watching you cry, watched as your face scrunched in pain while you fought back sobs from taking over your body. Something pulled him to comfort you but he knew better than that. He couldn’t, not with Elain here.

“I have been telling you for five hundred years Azriel how much more do you want me to do? I may have never flat out said it but why do you think I stayed up waiting for you to come home after missions, or why I defended you against the teasing, or why I showed you my love in a thousand different ways but you never noticed even though you are the head spy master of the night court.” a sob racked your body forcing you to stop and Azriel wanted nothing more than to hold you until the tears stopped flowing and you felt whole again something in his soul was pulling him towards you but your next words stopped him in his tracks. “I never told you because to you it seems that I have never just been good enough. I have never been enough for you.”

[jjkeverlast]

okay babe, after working my 2 remaining brain cells I have come up with a request for my boyfiii/hubby joonie (joon's whores™️ pls rise up) 🫣 i'd love a childhood bestfriends to lovers, fluff and smut ofc (if inspo hits, maybe a tiny pinch of angst? if not, it's okay 😌) here are some prompts :

Having so many inside jokes that just the two of them know, that other people often don’t understand their humor. “I’m just scared of losing you.” “Don’t think of it as losing, it’s more like evolving. You’re not losing your best friend, you’re getting something extra.”

and you know i'm extra, so here's some visual inspo (honestly, any excuse show off my domestic boyfriend pics 🫣)

okay okay love you to the moon and back 🌝, i am not sorry for the feral sounds that will come out of me once this thing is posted (i will need to be put down) ❤️❤️❤️

about love | knj (m)

>> pairing bestfriend!namjoon x fem!reader

>> genre/au's childhood best friends to lovers | fluff | smut | crack

>> summary during your trip to the aquarium, namjoon blurts out something that creates an unexpected turn to your friendship.

>> word count 2.8k

>> warnings dry humping | fingering | handjob | missionary | soft romantic sex :') | protected sex | namjoon being namjoon aka a clumsy cutie

>> author's note living for the boyfie pics of joon hehe i hope u enjoy this drabble baby. i included everything u mentioned (minus angst lol) i hope u don't fall more in love with joon after reading this sjdfhcsjd

[keep in mind that i do not have taglists for request, and prompts are marked in bold! thank you.]

Sundays meant one thing for you and Namjoon. It’s the day of the week where you both spend time together. This time, it was Namjoon’s turn to pick and usually he would pick an art exhibition or his favorite museum but, surprisingly enough he picked an aquarium. 

You hadn’t been to one since you were five years old. It was on a school trip, you and Namjoon being forced to walk side by side and hold hands like the rest. That’s the only thing you remember — oh, and that silly inside joke that got created that day. 

There’s something everyone knows about Namjoon. He’s incredibly smart. Ever since he was little he was always infatuated by random but very important facts — as he called them. 

You were determined that jellyfishes were called roundy fishes. Which isn’t really a word but you were certain! It made sense to you, and Namjoon laughed when you shrieked how you were extremely excited to see the roundy fishes, until he discovered it was jellyfishes. Afterwards, he had made it his life mission to, one annoy you with the ridiculous name and two, give you every single fact about them. 

Till this day, Namjoon still teased you with that. 

The aquarium was the one from when you were small, basically where your friendship started to bloom. The thought of you being here with Namjoon almost 20 years later, made you nervous. A good nervous. 

On your 20th birthday, you realized you were in love with Namjoon. It wasn’t even a special moment. He was just suddenly holding a silly tiny cake with a few candles and pushing you to make a wish as you blew on them. In that moment you had looked at him and something sparked in your heart. People would call it butterflies, but you called it a spark. 

That spark never left. You weren’t exactly planning on ever telling him, his friendship meaning much more to you than ruining it by a confession. 

Therefore, you kept it hidden. But, today he’s making it hard. Especially by showing up with a cute white sweater and his glasses. 

Fuck. 

“Ready to go see some roundy fishes?” Namjoon says, teasing you by knocking his elbow into yours. 

“You’re still on that, I see.” You respond, trying to hide your smile as you both walk inside the aquarium. 

The blue lights are all over the place, decorations of every living creature hanging on the walls. 

Namjoon doesn’t even hesitate, dragging you by the arm directly towards the jellyfish. 

You’re stunned by how beautiful they look. They’re moving in slow motion, creating what seems to be a whole different universe behind glass. It almost reminds you of the clumps of lava, floating in a lava lamp after you turn it on and let it sit for a few hours. 

Somehow, you’re just standing in silence, admiring them silently while Namjoon stands next to you. He’s not saying anything either, but it’s a comfortable silence. It’s always like this with Namjoon. Just extreme comfort at all times. 

You finally decide to turn your head towards Namjoon, noticing how he’s staring at you already. His expression is something you’ve never seen before. You can’t exactly pinpoint what he’s thinking, which is usually your best skill. 

“What?” You ask. 

“I’m in love with you.” Namjoon blurts out. Your eyes pop open by his words, mouth dropping silently as well. 

What did he just say?!

“I—“ 

Namjoon seems to be getting out of his trance, smacking his lips and returning his gaze on the glass. 

“Did you know that jellyfishes are 95% water?” Namjoon changes the subject quickly, spilling out every fact he has on your favorite fish. 

“Namjoon.” 

“They actually also have really short lifespans.” He continues, ignoring how you called out his name. 

“Joonie.” 

Namjoon returns his eyes to you. The nickname always does it for him. 

“I’m sorry. I was just—“ He tries to explain before you cut him off. 

“I’m in love with you, clumsy.” 

Namjoon’s expression brings out a huge change. He begins to light up, almost turning the same color as the glowing jellyfishes. 

“What.” He breathes out. 

“Yeah.” You step closer. 

“Holy shit.” Namjoon suddenly says. “You’re serious.” He points out, as if it wasn’t obvious before. 

“You’re ridiculous.” You suddenly begin to laugh, your stomach feeling all kinds of weird because what just happened?! 

“Wait. Since when have you..” He starts off. 

“Since my 20th birthday.” You confess with confidence. 

“Ha.” Namjoon chuckles. “I win.” 

“Wait what?” You ask in confusion.

“Been in love with you ever since you called jellyfish roundy fishes.” 

Fuck. He has got to be kidding. 

“Please tell me you’re joking.” You say in disbelief. 

“No. Five year old Namjoon was definitely onto something.” He admits, humor laced in his tone. 

“Wow.” Your stomach just did a somersault. 

“Meaning, he’s been waiting to do something for a really long time.” Namjoon explains, moving closer to you, both of your chests brushing against one another. 

“Oh?” 

Namjoon smiles, his dimples becoming prominent before he dips his head, his lips about to reach yours until—

“Wait.” You put a hand on his chest, causing his brows to furrow. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I’m just… scared of losing you.” You admit. 

There’s not really anything to be afraid of, you know that. But this is Namjoon. Silly, smart, clumsy Namjoon who’s been by your side for as long as you remember. This is scary. What if you mess up? Then you’ll eventually lose Namjoon and—

“Hey.” Namjoon catches you out of your thoughts. 

“Don’t think of it as losing, it’s more like evolving. You’re not losing your best friend, you’re getting something extra.” Namjoon says, lightening up the room and washing every horrible thought away. 

You nod, agreeing because he’s not exactly wrong. You’re just about to step into something else, but one thing that will never change is Namjoon being your best friend. 

When Namjoon notices how you’re more relaxed, he takes the opportunity to finally kiss you. 

It’s like everything around you stops the moment your lips meet. You feel like you’ve floated into a completely different place. Namjoon hesitates with giving you more than a peck, so just as he’s about to pull away, you grab his nape letting them touch again. 

The kiss is slow. The kiss is the start of something. 

Finally, you pull away. Namjoon can’t stop smiling and your whole body has turned warm. 

Now, while you’re watching the jellyfish, Namjoon is holding your hand. They seem to fit so perfectly and your mind hasn’t even processed everything that just happened. But one thing you know for sure, is that you’ve never been happier. 

The rest of the day, you walk around, Namjoon telling you everything he knows about each species. But it’s different this time, because each time he gets excited you get the urge to kiss him again and do so. 

Namjoon doesn’t stop glowing the whole time you’re there, neither do you. 

After a few hours, you both decide to head home. Namjoon sits in the passenger seat while you hum out the song playing on the radio. 

When you finally arrive in front of his place, you both pause and look at each other again. 

“Do you… want to come in?” Namjoon offers, scratching his neck while asking. A gesture he does when he’s nervous. 

“I’d love to.” You seem more calm than he does. 

“Oh, okay!” Namjoon gets excited, hurrying himself out of the car while you begin to laugh. You’re so in love with him it has turned ridiculous. 

You’ve been in Namjoon’s apartment plenty of times. You could find everything with your eyes closed if you tried. This time, it’s a bit different. The atmosphere is clouded with love, while Namjoon scrambles to make you both some tea. 

He’s excited, yes, but nervous too. He’s not the only one, you’re just better at controlling it. 

When the tea has been made, you both sit down on his couch. He’s turned a few lamps on, the exposure of light dimmed which creates an oddly romantic vibe. Everything is unplanned. You’re just both living in the moment, talking and chatting about anything that comes to mind, while you play with his hair. 

Something starts to shift when Namjoon stops talking about space, and decides to kiss you instead. The kiss is different from the first one. This time you’re both aiming for the same goal. Namjoon still seems hesitant, careful with moving his body closer to yours — which causes you to lead. 

You pull Namjoon down on top of you, holding onto his waist as you continue to glide your lips above his. He tastes of peppermint tea, a taste you don’t really seem to mind. 

It’s going somewhere you’re both aware of. Normally you would’ve been scared in such a situation, thinking you’re moving too fast but you’ve both been waiting so long for this moment that it doesn’t exactly feel like that. 

Namjoon’s lips move from yours down to your neck, biting you gently before replacing it with his wet tongue. He’s really good at this. Fuck. 

For the first time you’re already slightly panting by a minor action. It’s more the thought of it being Namjoon doing this, that he’s the one you’re currently making out with on his couch and not some random person from tinder or someone you met at the club. No. This is your best friend. Your other half. The one who’s apparently been in love with you ever since the first day you got to know him. 

“I’m loving the extra things I’m getting.” You joke, running your fingers through his long strands while Namjoon giggles against your skin. 

“Yeah, good you’re not missing out anymore.” What a cocky bastard. 

“Mhm.” You hum, enjoying Namjoon hovering above you a tad bit too much. 

“Wait. Are we doing this?” Namjoon pauses, removing his face from your neck. He’s looking at you, raising his eyebrow in question. 

You pull him by the belt. “Yeah. We’re doing this.” You confirm, unbuckling his belt while Namjoon chuckles at your lack of patience. 

But he’s no better himself, because before you know it he’s working his hands on your zipper, failing miserably but somehow making it work and opening them. 

In sync, you both touch each other, groaning by the feeling. Namjoon feels big under your palm and he notices how you’re already wet from just a little hot make out sesh on his couch. 

“Shit—“ Namjoon curses, sliding his fingers up and down above the fabric while you’re cupping him. 

“Yeah.” 

The sensation grows with every touch, a desperation coming to the surface. You’re certain Namjoon is going to fuck you on this couch, but he has other plans. 

“Bedroom. Now.” He says in between pants. Too overwhelmed to form an actual sentence because holy shit you’re touching him, at this very moment. This isn’t a silly wet dream, no. This is real life and it’s about to happen. 

It looks silly how you both get up so fast, running towards Namjoon’s bedroom as if there’s hidden gold in there. Namjoon closes the door even though he lives alone and you’re already laying down on his bed, waiting for him to join you. 

The bed slightly dips when he joins you, grabbing your waist so you’re able to feel every inch of him as he kisses you softly. Your hands shamelessly feel his chest and arms, a weakness of yours when it comes to Namjoon and his body. 

You remember the first time you saw him after a while, his shoulders broader and more toned. You tried not to show him how your eyes raked all over his body, checking him out with zero shame. Thankfully, Namjoon was too excited to see you to notice and you’re grateful for that. 

But now, you can touch him there. Feel the edges of his muscles without having to wonder what they feel like. Fuck. You were right. They feel like a dream. 

Namjoon moans against your lips when your hand moves upwards beneath his shirt, his soft skin burning against yours. You knew he had abs, he’s mentioned once or twice he was doing an abs workout when you’ve called him during his workout hours but— he’s truly ripped. The prominent edges of his abs tense under your touch and your mind is immediately sent into a whirlwind. 

You grab onto his waist, moving him to hover above you once more. Although this time, Namjoon presses down on you, giving you a glimpse of how hard he is. He’s barely grazed his covered cock on you, and you’re whining beneath him, pulling him closer to kiss him more roughly. 

The sounds Namjoon makes are unreal. He’s groaning softly, but moaning with a raspy tone. It’s almost a bit embarrassing how wet you’ve become by simply dry humping a bit and being blessed by hearing Namjoon enjoying himself above you. 

You both go back to groping and touching one another, this time beneath the fabric that stands in the way. Namjoon’s cock feels heavy in your hand, the skin soft and the tip wet. You gain the courage to squeeze his cock gently, causing Namjoon to gasp while he’s dragging out his fingers on your slit. 

You tense when Namjoon’s thumb begins to circle on your clit. Namjoon grows a smile at your reaction, continuing as he drags two of his fingers inside of you with ease. He curls them when they’re fully inside, petting your g-spot and making you moan. You return the favor, stroking Namjoon’s cock and squeezing by the tip, circling your thumb over it. 

Now the question is, who’s going to give in first? 

Namjoon pulls himself upwards, his fingers still inside you, taking his free hand to remove his glasses and place them on the night table. With that, he also reaches for a condom in the drawer.��

As he moves downwards, he reconnects his lips with yours. The kiss is wet, messy and hot. It only makes you more excited to finally have sex with Namjoon. 

You’re both moaning, moving your bodies in sync, in search of friction but nothing will beat Namjoon being inside of you. The lack of patience starts to show for you when you pull his pants and boxers till mid thigh. His cock springs free, moving closer to your core. Namjoon pulls out his fingers, grabbing onto his cock and makes eye contact with you. 

You nod to his silent question, resulting in Namjoon to pull your pants and underwear completely off. You expect for Namjoon to get on with it, but instead he moves closer, grinding down on your naked core. His cock slips in between your lips, letting you feel him fully. 

“Shit—” You gasp, overwhelmed by how good it feels. 

“Yeah, baby.” Namjoon says in agreement, mouth slack as he continues to move. If he continues, you’re certain you can come like this. 

“Joonie, please.” You bite your lip, preventing a moan from escaping your lips. “Need you.” You mumble against his skin. 

You have never in your life seen Namjoon hurry as much as he does right now. He almost falls down on you, too excited to put on a condom. Luckily, he manages quickly, the condom sliding down with ease. 

With that, Namjoon circles his tip by your entrance, teasing you a bit. It causes you to move your hips, trying to aim for his cock but you fail. Namjoon bites back a smile, and carefully he starts to thrust, sliding with ease. The stretch feels incredible. 

After a few shallow thrusts, Namjoon manages to settle. He takes a second to enjoy how you feel wrapped around him before beginning to move. 

Holy fucking shit. Namjoon thrusts like a God. You’re already on edge, barely having him inside of you but you feel yourself coming close to an orgasm. 

Namjoon picks up a fast pace, grabbing both your hands and intertwining your fingers, settling them above your head. He gasps against your lips, biting down on them whenever you clench around him. 

“You feel like a fucking dream.” Namjoon pants, smiling down on you. Your skin grows hot by his compliment, nearing an end. 

With a few more thrusts from Namjoon, your back arches, a highly pitched moan slipping as you come undone all over him. Not long after, Namjoon’s cock twitches inside of you, spilling into the condom with a groan. 

You both lay in each other’s arms, skin sweaty and warm. Namjoon pulls out with ease, tossing the condom in a bin before moving back towards you. He lays in your arms and your hands move upwards to his hair. He hums in satisfaction, loving how your fingers feel scraping his scalp. 

“What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?” 

You pause, surprised he’s asking such a thing. 

“Why are you asking this when you can’t even boil an egg?” Namjoon gasps in offense, while you start to laugh over how ridiculous he is. 

“It was worth a try.” He says, giving a small peck to your neck. 

Kim Namjoon will be the death of you. 

© jjkeverlast 2023 [do not copy, translate or repost any of my works.]

[luvinescent]

Mismatched Hearts

Pairing: Robb Stark x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Robb have been friends since childhood; the two harboring feelings for one another without the others’ knowledge. When Robb’s mother makes the choice to meddle in his love life by constructing an engagement between the two—Robb is left with guilt at the belief that he has trapped her in an unwanted marriage with him because of his status. Neither one choosing to confess their feelings or address the situation; they do more harm than good towards their friendship and future marriage.

Warnings: uuuh idk none ig fluff + angst

Word count: 3643

Part 1/2

Next

Small and delicate, innocent, and almost ignorant of its surroundings. It stood there, soaking up the little warmth that the small sunbeams the late morning had provided the woods. It stood up on its hind legs, rubbing its face with its white paws. The wee creature was oblivious to the flimsy and slow steps that were approaching from behind. The figure made sure to stay hidden, concentrating on the task at hand. Raising their bow, they stood still with one eye closed as they pulled back the bowstring, walking one step closer and ready to let go—

A mixture of a gasp followed by a grunt had came instead as the girl found herself on the ground; having rolled her ankle funny. The arrow had been let go, but it had flown in the opposite direction and the loud commotion had alerted the creature and made it run away. The girl stood up to her knees, a pout present on her face as she had failed her task. ”Nooooooo,” she extended her frustration, already gearing up to roll her eyes as she heard the laugh she knew very well coming from behind.

“I may be wrong my lady, but I believe you were supposed to shoot the arrow towards the rabbit. Not trip and startle it”. Robb could not contain his laughter at the sight of his long-time best friend still moping on the ground. Huffing, she rose up to her full height, giving him a death stare “I almost had it!” she justified “My foot was the problem this time!”, now referring to her other failed attempts.

Robb smiled, showing off his perfect teeth as he took the bow from Y/N. Surveying it, he turned his back to her and headed in the direction that would lead them back to the courtyard. “I will admit, you have improved. Who knows, maybe your next target can be a wild boar” he teased the girl.

Jogging up, she playfully slapped him on his back “Don’t be mean”. Standing in front of him now, she returns the equal amount of mockery “You haven’t even killed a boar yet”. Rubbing the area she had slapped, Robb pinches Y/N nose—a playful habit he has kept with her since their childhood, “But I have shot many rabbits. And birds. And deers. Would you like a list of my numbers in comparison to your zero?”. Rolling her eyes, she pretended to look away from him in anger, but she couldn’t stop the smile that crept on her face. Robb stood silently, watching her with awe as she stood under some sunlight. Unbeknownst to her, but visible to him, it illuminated her features clearly; to Robb, she was truly a beautiful woman now and no longer the little girl he had grown up with.

 Y/N was taken by surprise (and even Robb was stunned at his actions) when she felt him place his hand upon her face to force her to look back at him. He spoke with a gentle voice, “I only joke. You have improved greatly in the short amount since you picked up that bow”. It was only recently that Y/N had finally convinced her parents to allow her to practice archery. They did not see it as something a lady needed to be doing, but she had been begging for years and they grew tired of it and caved in. Robb was the first person she went to ask for lessons, and Robb was also the first person who had gifted her first bow. Y/N looked up at him, staring into his eyes that she loved very much. But she was never good when it came to her own feelings. And she was never good when it came to moments like this. Looking away quickly and pushing his hand away, she hid her demeanor behind a smirk “You are growing soft on me now, are you Stark?’.

Shaking his head, he laughed as he followed her trudge back to the courtyard, “No, my lady. Not growing. I’ve always had a soft spot for you”.

Loud howling can be heard throughout the courtyard. Many of the servants and Winterfell folks turned in the direction of who was responsible for such attention, but not Jon Snow. From his peripheral vision, he could see Robb and Y/N clearly racing one another, laughing at something said by either one. Finally looking up, he was met with the two-standing right in front of him, out of breath and grinning. “Jon!” Y/N exclaimed “You must settle this debate; cats are better than dogs, right?”. Jon raised an eyebrow, looking to Robb who seemed eager to hear what he had to say “…I don’t believe I have much say in such a matter my lady….”. Y/N lifted her arms in frustration, turning to Robb and poking his chest “You Starks just have a bias towards dogs because of your dire wolves”.

Jon and Robb both shared a chuckle. “I’d be careful with those words, my lady. Greywind or Ghost might hear your favoritism towards kitties and eat you whole in betrayal”, Jon jested. Y/N pulled a face at the thought of her furry friends doing such a thing, “Please. Those two adore me”. Jon looked up to Robb who was staring at you in some trance.

Someone else clearly adores you too, he thought to himself at the sight of his brother.

Sighing loudly, Y/N uttered with dismay “I guess dogs win this round”. Robb glanced between her and his brother, scratching at his neck as his voice trailed off “I guess cats are pretty cool….”. Both Y/N and Jon turned to look at Robb, one with content and the other with surprise.

“Really?” she asked gleefully.

“Really?” Jon asked judgingly.

Robb gave a glare towards his brother, changing his expression once he looked at Y/N “Yeah. Greywind is cool but I guess cats are cooler-“he cleared his throat, obvious to Jon but not Y/N that he was forcing those words out.

Smiling, she clapped her hands together “Welp, that settles it. Another debate that I won”. Turning to Robb, she placed her hand upon his forearm “I must head home now before my father goes crazy. I’ll see you tomorrow”. Walking away, she waved to the two, delivering a “Later Snow!” as her figure disappeared in the distance.

Jon stared at his brother with a look of disrelish, “Gods. You are one lovesick fool. She’s got you wrapped around her pretty finger”. Robb returned his comment with a shove, “Oh, shut it. I just find enjoyment in seeing her happy”. His brother raised an eyebrow at him, “That exactly what someone in love would say”. Robb shook his head and was getting ready to walk away when the next question asked caught him off guard,

“Why not tell her how you feel?”

Robb spun back to face Jon, a clear look of surprise on his face. “How I feel?”. Jon nodded, taking a step towards him, “Tell me brother, what is it exactly that you feel?”

Robb observed Jon closely, his questions processing in his mind. Robb wanted to keep his mouth shut, but some force had opened it up for him “She is my best friend. She is someone who I feel complete happiness with. I can be a room with hundreds of people and her eyes are the only ones I seek out. She’s a beauty that I can’t even explain-“

“Yeah, I think I get it now” Jon said raising a hand to stop Robbs rambling or else the two would probably be out there till night. “So, why not tell her?”

Robb let out a laugh, no humor present at all. “Because, like I said, she’s my best friend. I don’t know if she feels the same, and I don’t want to ruin the one thing that brings bliss into my life”. Jon gawked at his brothers words; he must be stupid and blind to not see Y/N obvious return of feelings. “Robb,” he started with “she likes yo—the girl loves you equally. Just tell he-“.

Jon was taken off guard by the shove he received by his brother, “Don’t pity me and don’t feed me delusional lies”. With that, Robb walked away towards the innermost part of the castle. Jon grumbled in frustration, chasing after his brother who was in clear turmoil, “Robb! Robb! Wait up!”.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, Lady Catelyn had came down in search of Robb. While she did find Robb and her husbands bastard son, she also had found herself with new information regarding her son. Frowning at her sons’ troubles, she had a sense of mother-mode turned on within her. She stood still, wanting to help her son but not knowing how.

It was then that a solution came to her.

Smiling, she turned to one of her trusted lady servants and gave order, “Send message to House Y/L/N. Tell them that I have some important matters to discuss”. The servant scurried away with her orders and Lady Catelyn felt a sense of pride develop within her. Robb was going to be overjoyed with the news she would deliver to him soon.

Catelyn had ushered in her son into his father’s solar. Now standing in front of both his parents, Robb was confused about the urgency until his mother had spoken up and spilled everything. Catelyn expected Robb to be ecstatic and celebrate at the news, but was clearly taken back at the anger that fell upon his face.

“You did what?!”

Eddard was equally and even more taken back by the outburst. Confusion overtook his mind as he turned to his wife, “This feels as though he was not informed on any of this. I thought you said the boy was aware of the plans?”. Robb spoke up before his mother could answer his question “This is the first time I am hearing about an engagement; especially my own. What gave you the idea to make such a decision without my sentiment on the matter?!”

Catelyn raised both hands in the air, one towards her husband and towards her son as she tried to clear Eddards confusion and Robbs furry. “Calm down! You do not speak to me in such a way!” she pointed a finger, “No, he did not know. This was supposed to be a surprise—a good surprise! I thought you’d be happy; you are to marry the girl you love”. Shaking his head, Robb gave his mother a look of shock, asking what she meant by her statement.

Clearing her throat and standing up straight, Catelyn looked off to the side sheepishly “I overheard your conversation with Snow. I thought that as your mother, I would lend a hand and help you get the girl”. Robb looked like he was ready to burst out in curses and Eddard saw to himself to finally step in as man of his household. “That is enough Robb”.

Giving his wife a side glance, he turned back to his first son , “I am sorry your mother went behind your back and did such a thing. I would have intervened quicker had I not been lied to about your knowledge on the matter. But you are at the age where you need to get married. What better match than with the girl that you and this family have known for years. Her father has already agreed to it-“

Robb interrupted his father’s deliverance and spoke loudly “Of course her father agreed! We’re Starks! He practically couldn’t say no in the first place!”.

Eddard gave his son a stern look that made Robb surrender and look away. “I said that is enough!”, Eddard declared harshly “You are to marry the Y/L/N girl and that is final!”. Robb marched out of the room in displeasure; the emotion not towards Y/N— that can never be a thing. He was angry at himself because now she is forced to wed him due to his status as future Lord of Winterfell. His friendship with her and his last name has essentially trapped her.

Simultaneously, a similar affair was taking place in the household of Y/L/N’s. Rising from her chair, Y/N expressed in distress “Marriage?!”. Both her mother and father looked at one another dumbfounded. Surveying her daughter, Lady Y/L/N raised her glass of wine to her mouth, “Darling, I figured that you knew something like this would come. Your brother and sister were of your age when they got married”. Shaking her head vigorously, Y/N was quick to defend herself “Yes, but they knew their partners beforehand! They were not thrown of news of an established engagement to someone they did not know of on a random morning!”. Her father poured himself another glass of wine as he gave his daughter a bemused look, “Who says you don’t already know them? From what I understand, you and that Stark boy have been friends since you stood up to my knee in height”.

Y/N groaned in annoyance “That’s not the point! How could you agree-“, cutting herself off, she whipped her head towards her parents so fast it gave her whiplash. She ignored the pain as her heart swelled up in nerves instead, “…. Stark? Did you say Stark?”. Nodding his head, her father answered her question “Yes. The Stark boy—Ed’s eldest son, Robb. I believe he’d make a fine husband for you” cocking his eyebrow, he continued “His mother gave the proposal at just the perfect time. Your mother and I were just about set on making arrangements between you and one of Lord Frey’s sons”.

Y/N was quick to take note of her possible alterative future and was irked at the thought of her parents sending her off to the Riverlands. But she had more consuming thoughts in her mind at the time. Sitting back down in her chair shrinkingly, she looked up at both her parents “… And you are sure it is Robb I am betrothed to?”

Her mother gave her a funny look and nodded her head slowly “Yes?... Unless you had another Stark boy in mind? The only two other sons I can think of aren’t even close to your age, but maybe we can try to settle an agree-“. Y/N was quick to cut her mother off, horrified and blushing deeply “No! Robb is who I want—I mean, not “want” in a literal sense. I mean, he is a good husband candidate. He comes from a good family, and he is kind, handsome, funny…”. Y/N trailed off her words as she realized she wasn’t doing a good job at acting nonchalant. Her mother grinned, taking her daughters hand in her own and chuckling softly “I take it that you fancy both the betrothal and Robb as well?”. Y/N looked away, turning her eyes downward towards the ground, not answering her mother and blushing even more.

Her father’s laughter broke the silence in the room, “Would you look at that Y/M/N? The girls gone as quiet as a mouse and as red as a tomato!”. Y/N face burnt up even more as her father continued laughing and her mother uttered something along the lines of “You were never good at hiding your feelings” and “It was obvious to everyone since you two were young”. Standing up sharply, Y/N treaded out the room hastily. Her stomach was in shambles at the idea of her now taking on a new chapter in her life. She would soon gain the title of a wife and Lady of Winterfell. While it was nerve wrecking and frightening scenario; even she could not stop the smile that was forming on her face. She was to share her new life with Robb.

Three days later, Robb stood in the castle yard; along with him was Jon and Theon Greyjoy, ward of Eddard Stark. He was practicing his archery, completely silent and obviously deep in thought. Jon gave Theon a pointed look when he snickered at Robb’s dismay. The news of his betrothal to Lady Y/N had been shared and was now known by everyone in Winterfell, as well as other noble houses across Westeros. Theon was the first to speak up, “Trouble in paradise?” he chuckled to himself “You’re not even married yet and you’re already in martial distress”. Jon shoved Theon back as Robb whipped around, his weapon held tightly in his hands. “He’s just being an idiot,” his brother tried covering for Theon “calm down. Is everything truly okay Robb?”

Robb was about throw a crass remark when Theon let out a low whistle, “Would you look who it is. Your pretty bride to be is here”. And he was right because from a short distance was Y/N walking towards the trio, an obvious shy smile present on her face. Once stood in front of them, she greeted them individually. “Snow. Greyjoy.”, looking towards Robb, she cleared her throat and tried her best to hold her composure, “Robb”. The first two acknowledged her presence, while Robb stood still and gave no word as he stared. Theon, being the mischief maker he is, was quick to ignore the tension and address a certain matter, “Congratulations on your engagement, my lady. You must be so excited”. Jon cringed internally at the look Robb had given to Theon. Fortunately, Y/N had not seen the interaction and smiled bashfully at the question, “Yes, uh, thank you. It is still something I am trying to comprehend…”. Turning her attention to Robb, she fulfilled the reason of why she came over here in the first place. “Can I talk to you?”.

Robb did not have time to answer as Theon grabbed Snow by the neck, forcing him to walk a couple steps away, “Come on Snow. Let’s give these two lovebirds some space”.

Once the two were out of earshot, Y/N gazed up at Robb and softly spoke “Hi...”. Robb returned her greeting with a silent “Hey…”. Y/N clasped her hands together as she fumbled with her fingers, “So…we are to be married”. Robb did not say anything but simply nodded at her statement. Taking a deep breath, she carried on “It is a bit anxious making, is it not?”. Robb once again did not say a word, choosing to nod once more. Before he could open his mouth to voice his mind, Y/N gave a look of surprise. “Oh! I almost forgot”.

Unfolding a handkerchief that Robb took notice she had the entire time, Y/N raised it up with both hands to present to him. “I made you this”. Carefully, Robb took the cloth from her hands and was instantly filled with deep affection once he noticed the stitching. Y/N grinned proudly as he examined his gift, “It’s your house’s sigil. I must say, stitching a dire wolf was hard labor—I almost went mad and cried out in frustration multiple times”, she laughed earnestly, “But, I think I did a pretty good job. Do you not agree?”.

Waiting for a yes or no, Y/N was taken back by Robbs whisper of “...You didn’t have to”. She was quick to shake her head and correct him, “But I wanted to”, now nodding her head instead. Robb felt sick and angry at her words; words he believed were lies. He wished for such thoughts to go away, so that he could truly indulge in the warm-heartedness that was her and her gift. But insecurity had struck him.

She probably feels obligated to do such things. He thought to himself. My mother probably even asked her to do this.

Robb crumbled up the cloth and placed it back in Y/N hand, “No, you did not have to. I never asked you to do this and I don’t need it”. With that, he turned his back and stormed away. If Robb had stayed just a second longer, he would have noticed the heartbroken look that fell upon her face. Theon was quick to follow after the future lord of Winterfell, casting a quick glance at the down casted girl as he passed her. Jon walked up slowly towards her; afraid that she might just break down right there in the middle of the yard.

“Are you okay?”, he asks with genuine concern. Y/N cleared her face and put on a fake smile, “Uh, yeah. I am okay. Is there something going on with him?” she questioned. Robb has never spoken or acted that way towards her. Jon responded to her question with honesty, placing a hand upon her shoulder “He hasn’t been so happy these last few days. I believe the engagement is just a lot for him to take it”. While Jons reasoning did make sense, Y/N owns insecurities had started to form in her head.

If he hasn’t been happy since the engagement was announced, then he’s not happy with it all.

She cursed herself internally; how foolish of her to have thought of only her own fantasies coming true and not considering the other possibilities. Robb did not want to marry her.

Choking back tears, she nodded her head and looked away “Yeah. Yeah. You are probably right,” she said falsely. Holding up the handkerchief, she placed it into Jons hands, “You can have this. I don’t have much need for it”. Noticing the sigil, Jon winced slightly, “… I’m not a Stark-“

“Then burn it! I don’t care, just take it away from me!”. Y/N had finally broken down as tears started to fall from her eyes. She quickly turned away and scurried off as she tried not to bring any attention towards herself.

Jon could only stare in sorrow at his friends suffering and his brothers as well. He wished he could intervene somehow, but this was something that Robb and Y/N needed to work out on their own.

[williamswifey]

hii!! i really love your bella works and i was wondering if i could request a one shot where the reader and bella are both cast on tlou, and they play each other’s love interests. However, they like each other in real life and after they film the kiss scene bella becomes distant because they think reader wouldn’t like them back in real life, but reader forces them to tell them what’s wrong and ends up in confessions.

𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 - 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐘

pairing ; bella ramsey x fem!reader

summary ; after you and bella kissed on-screen, you thought it ruined your off-screen friendship. but what if the kiss unlocked something larger than friendship?

content warnings ; none really, somewhat unrequited crush, angst w/ a happy ending

a/n ; i’m back 🤗 im super excited to be posting again <3

masterlist

you would be lying if you said you hadn’t completely fallen for bella while filming the last of us. you had been working on the set of season two for months now, and almost all your scenes were with bella.

you were playing their love interest, dina, and for some odd reason—the two of you had yet to film a kissing scene. well, at least until today.

the kissing scene had left you a nervous wreck for the entire week leading up to filming. when you first read the script, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you.

no way would you have to kiss bella. it’s not that you didn’t want to, not at all— but you knew bella didn’t feel the same way about you. you knew once you knew what bella’s lips felt like pressed against yours, there would be no going back.

you didn’t want to ruin your friendship with bella. if you couldn’t have a relationship, you’d settle for a friendship. and maybe it would eat away at you, but you’d rather have bella in your life as a friend than not at all.

the morning of the kissing scene you made sure to brush your teeth extra well. you had been so nervous, you had gone through almost an entire pack of mints.

you watched as bella nonchalantly walked into set, attention turned to a crew member. you watched bella run a hair through their freshly cut hair—the new hairstyle a result of playing an older ellie.

just watching them made you nervous. but, still—you were an actor. you always easily pushed down your feelings, and that’s exactly what you planned to do today.

you wouldn’t see bella for two weeks after this. the cast was getting a small break from production, and this was the last scene that needed to be filmed.

“y/n,” bella spoke, catching your attention, “ready for today?” they asked, a joking tone to their words.

you chuckled nervously.

“ready as i’ll ever be,” you playfully replied, trying to match bella’s jokingly flirty mannerisms.

bella had been fiddling with the semi permanent tattoo on their forearm. they were poking at it, seemingly trying to distract themselves.

was bella dreading kissing you that much?

you swallowed the anxiety that bubbled in your stomach as the crew began to get you and bella into your positions for filming.

you made sure your lines were extra memorized, you didn’t want to have to do this more than once. you knew that you wouldn’t be able to keep your composure.

the dialogue aspect of the scene went by without fault. you watched as bella took a step closer to you, a flicker in their eyes that you had never seen before.

you memorized the lines that slipped past their lips right before they connected with yours.

“i’ve been waiting to do this for a while,” bella breathed out, british accent long gone, “maybe too long.”

you felt butterflies in your stomach. it felt so real, but you knew it wasn’t. it was just acting, wasn’t it?

“what are you waiting for?” you replied, your character remaining cocky while you felt your heart beating deafeningly loud within your chest.

and then, you closed your eyes, and felt bella’s hand against your jaw. you felt their lips collide with yours, their lips so soft and gentle, and you fought the urge to grin into the kiss.

it lasted a minute. maybe longer, maybe shorter. you weren’t quite sure.

bella pulled away. you swallowed harshly. the director yelled cut, and you watched as bella abruptly walked off the set.

you could feel the ghost of their lips still pressed against yours. you wanted to follow after them, but you weren’t sure if you could ever view them as a just a friend again.

***

you hadn’t spoken to bella since the kiss. a whole two weeks without communication. i you had tried so hard not to be weird around bella, but it seemed like they were the one being weird around you.

you tried to reach out, but your texts were met with a constant ‘delivered’ sign. your calls went to voicemail. you felt like an idiot.

you were nervous going back to set. what if you and bella’s chemistry was ruined? what if they couldn’t be around you anymore, and the producers would fire you?

your head swelled with possibilities. your stomach churned with nerves. you were nervous to see bella.

however, seeing bella wasn’t as bad as you thought. they weren’t acting like the monster you thought they’d be—but by no means did that mean they were acting normal.

you and bella normally talked between scenes, you ran lines together in your hotel room, you spent your lunch breaks and weekends together.

but now, it seemed like bella was a aching to be anywhere but near you.

you weren’t going to lie. it hurt.

it hurt to make eye contact with them, only for them to turn the other way. it hurt to text them, only to be left on delivered. it hurt to try to talk to them, only to be met with a one word response before bella came up with an excuse to leave.

after another couple of days passed, bella’s behavior hadn’t changed. and you were sick of it.

yesterday, you had asked bella if they needed a ride back to their hotel after shooting, but they said they had driven their car to set. however, you walked to the parking lot to find your car the only car there. why had they lied?

today was a friday, and everyone was going home for the night. bella was walking towards their car (which they had actually driven today), and you were walking to yours.

maybe it was a leap of faith, but you found yourself walking towards bella, not your car. you stood in front of them, and their feet stopped in their place.

“okay, what the fuck?” you said, frustrated and fed up.

bella blinked.

“…can i help you?” they asked, rubbing a hand towards their eye.

they looked bored. seriously?

“yes, you can actually,” you said, huffing as you pressed a hand to your hip.

“i’d like to know what the hell i did that was so terrible to make you act like such a shitty person this week.” you snapped. bella gulped.

“y/n, i—”

you cut bella off. “i mean—i’ve been nothing but kind to you, bella. we run lines together, we hang out together, we call, and we text, and now you just pulled the plug on it without even the smallest bit of an explanation. and it’s not fair.”

“you know what’s not fair?” bella said suddenly, their calm composure breaking, “the fact that being around you kills me, and you don’t even know it. the fact that i can’t be around you without the constant reminder of what it felt like to kiss you—and it’s embarrassing how badly i want to do it again.”

“i can’t be around you without becoming a nervous mess. i can’t do it. i know you don’t feel the same way—and it kills me to ignore you, but i can’t just be your friend. it’s too hard.”

you blinked as bella finishing ranting. bella liked…you? did bella just say that? you prayed you weren’t hearing things. however, your lack of a response made bella more worried.

“oh, fuck,” they said, “i totally just ruined everything. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry—”

you cut bella off before they could continue their rambling. you placed a hand on their chin, connecting your lips to theirs. they stilled for a moment, before melting into the kiss.

the kiss was magical.

if you thought kissing bella as ellie was good, kissing bella—the real bella was better.

you pulled away after a moment, and bella had a huge grin plastered on their face.

“i take it you feel the same way?” they asked sheepishly.

you giggled.

“yeah,” you nodded, your giddiness matching bella’s.

“now,” you began, “i think we have two weeks worth of catching up to do.”

“i think we have a lot more than that.”

you laced your hand with bella’s as you walked to their car. you’d pick up your car on monday. all that mattered was bella’s hand in yours, the ghost of their lips still etched across your face, and you knew that feeling was about to become a lot more familiar.

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

My new favorite thing on tumblr.com is the discourse around how hard it is to leave the order you guys, they leave their members ‘with no life skills’ etc etc, ONLY THE CLOTHES ON THEIR BACKS, it’s so darlingly melodramatic that I’m low-key picturing some kind of ritualistic drumming out ceremony, possibly involving the knights chanting ‘shame,’ ‘shame,’ ala game of thrones, while every single council member gazes down upon them from on high, faces carved from judgmental stone, culminating in the poor sod spending their first night in rags sleeping at the foot of the temple steps,

okay, I am getting distracted. What I’m actually amusing myself with is picturing what Ahsoka, 16 years of age, can put on her CV. It’s a lot. Now I hate CVs so like I’m not about to write up hers but. It includes military command, references from at least two GALACTIC SENATORS who worked with her, references from at least two HEADS OF STATE. Engineering, piloting, teaching, combat, military command, special ops, investigation, geo-politics....... She is 16. This is an objectively insane CV.

Her level of education is so respected that a head of state invited her to guest lecture at their top academy when she was 14, to kids her own age, and she was poised and confident throughout. Her schooling gets outright called out as privileged by her coruscanti friends. Also like, please let me know when the standard US high school curriculum comprehensively covers shit like astronavigation.

Every time she is depicted with non-jedi kids her age she is depicted as generally more worldly and prepared than them. The mandalorian kids. Lux, Trace, etc. She’s never encountered deathwatch or the Pikes directly before she’s rescuing her friends from them, but she immediately knows what’s up because she is simply. Well informed. Unlike her friends. It’s not like she doesn’t also learn things from them in these episodes, but. She just knows a lot.

She also left the order with at a minimum multiple contacts in the senate, a friendship with the king of Mon Calamar (I think?) and the duchal family of mandalore, as well as some shadier contacts.

(Now it’s true that tcw never answered, or even asked, what kind of financial or otherwise situation the temple itself provides to help a jedi who wants out to find their feet. That’s not a question you can ask in Ahsoka’s case without also asking: where the hell was Padme’s support? Why wasn’t Ahsoka sleeping on her couch? That’s her sister-in-law! Actually this is a trick question because Ahsoka tells Anakin she needs to figure this out on her own. Without the council, and without him. So we’ll never know. Until disney churns out yet more content that may or may not contradict previous content.)

(Absolute props to Ahsoka that is 100% what I would have done at 16. That’s just what being 16 is like. Bad things happen and then GOODBYE I AM PUTTING A SANDWICH IN A HANKERCHIEF AND TYING IT TO A STICK AND WALKING INTO THE SUNSET I AM GOING MY OWN WAY I WILL SLEEP ROUGH I WILL GO WHERE THE WIND BLOWS THIS WORLD IS STRANGE AND CRUEL AND I MUST RELY ON MYSELF GOODBYE)

(and obviously like canonically the door was 100% open to her returning, anytime she saw them they were like so... any chance you’re done with your walkabout?... we still have your room ready... your frog grandpa feels so bad he literally had a bad trip vision quest where you were like dying and asking him why he abandoned you and we had to commit him he is very sad. except maybe we’re not actually going to say this because that would sound like a guilt trip.. but... lightsabers ? :3)

(Generally the disaster lineage are a deeply ridiculous dataset. When Obi Wan was contemplating leaving the order he was contemplating becoming the Duke-Consort of Mandalore. Anakin not only married money but was offered a job by the Chancellor at 12 (comics). I mean ANAKIN RUN but also imagine being 12 and the president of the galaxy says well if you don’t like it with your dad I’ll give you a job)

Ultimately when Ahsoka left she tripped and fell into job as a mechanic, immediately found herself bailing her new boss out of trouble, and was headhunted like a week later to be on the command team for a counter coup of a whole system. She was still 16. The rest of us can only aspire to these kinds of job opportunities.

[glassartpeasants]

Killer angst drabble cause why not

gn!reader

~~~

You knew how much Kid meant to him. It was obvious from the start of the relationship. Anywhere Kid went, Killer was right behind him. They were best friends since childhood so who were you to try and split them apart? But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

There's been countless times where Killer has ditched you for Kid. He wouldn't even notify you that he wouldn't show up, he'd just stand you up. You tried to explain to Killer that it hurt your feelings and if he could at least let you know that he wouldn't show up. It lead to a huge fight. Words were said, tears were shed and it ended up with you two breaking up for a week or two.

You tried to ignore the heartbreak cause you didn't want to make the crew uncomfortable. Hell you even talked to some people about leaving the Kid Pirates. After all, Killer was the reason you joined. So now that you two weren't a thing anymore, there was no reason to be on the Victoria Punk. The tension was too thick for you.

Yet the moment you had gotten ready to pack your bags, Killer approached you. He promised he'd do better and that you did mean something to him. You believed him the first two months but then he slowly started going back to how it was. Which left you to where you are now, watching the stars with your bag in you lap as you sit on the railing.

"The city lights look inviting doesn't it? It's a pretty city and island. Maybe I can stay here until a ship shows up to take me home." Your heart burned at the thought of never hearing Killer's voice again. Even if you didn't want to admit it, a small part of you had been ready to leave since the huge fight. Knowing you'd always be in second, third, and fourth place for Killer. You'd never be his first priority, no matter what happens.

"Not even a competition, and you still won Eustass Kid." Whispering to yourself, your aware of the tears slowly falling down your face. A sad little laugh leaves your lips as you wipe the tears away.

"Your crying." Jumping from the sudden noise, you snap you head around and see your soon to be ex.

"Yeah. I guess I am." A seconds silence fell over the two if you.

"What's wrong?"

"Just settling on my final decision." Even without seeing his face, you knew he was puzzled.

"Which is?" Taking a deep breath, you respond.

"That I'm breaking up with you." Killer’s body tensed at your words. The glassy look in your eyes had him realizing that this wasn't a joke or prank.

"I'm sorry Killer, I knew that Kid was super important to you when we got together and I thought I could handle you spending almost all your time with Kid. Unfortunately I've realized that I cant." Your lips tremble as you try to gently smile.

"I don't want you to lose a friendship you've had since childhood just cause of me." You feel the Victoria Punk start to move away from the island.

"S-Shit (Y/N) I'm sorry. I know I've been ditching you and that I promised that I stopped and you have every right to be mad-"

"I'm not mad. At least not anymore."

"But you should be! You should be mad! I made you a promise and I broke it after saying I'd change. Why aren't you yelling at me?! Why aren't you mad that I lied to you?!"

"Because I love you." Killer could feel his heart beating fast as the weight of his actions finally hit him. He tried to speak yet nothing came out.

"And that's why I have to go. Life is about living and learning. And we simply learned that we weren't meant to be. But that's okay, you'll finally someone who works out better for you." You start to put on your bag to get ready to jump off the ship and onto the dock the Victoria Punk was moving away from. Killer grabs your hand and pulls himself closer to you.

"I don't want someone else, I want you. You and only you. Give me another chance please (Y/N)." Facing Killer and his mask, you press a kiss to where his lips would be. Tears flow down your face knowing that's the last kiss you'd ever give him.

"I better see your name in the newspaper often." Slipping tour hand away from his quickly, you whisper one last thing before jumping on the very last edge of the dock.

"Goodbye Massacre Soilder Killer. I love you." You land on the dock and watch the Victoria Punk sail past the dock. And you watch with a heavy heart as Killer starts running to the end of the ship to catch you while screaming to stop the ship.

He looked at you and screamed your name as he sailed farther and farther away, watching you wave him goodbye with tears in your eyes.

[marymary-diva17]

Where is she (3)

miles quaritch x reader + spider, sully kids, and recoms, Jake/neytiri

Past love and past friendship had come back from the dead after fifteen years, you had thought they were gone forever but it seems like that was not true. The RDA had tried to use them but it seems like that failed in the end, as the lies that had been told were proven to be false. Now the enemies from the past are back as navi and were seemed to be given a second chance in life, so will they take this chance to change for the better or keep their old selves and lost out in what they can have now.

Jake " are you sure you wish to deal with them on your own"

y/n " yeah it just my former dead husband and friends, now are blue and avatar yesterday were puppets for the RDA ... oh yes and thought me and my son were dead ... yeah I can deal with this for now"

Jake " okay I along with neytiri and tsutey maybe others who wish to come will show up, as head up they might be watched closely for the sake of you and spider"

y/n " thank you jake but this misos will be hard then anything else I have done"

Jake " yes but I know you will be able to handle the task and everyone has trust in you and their respect as well"

y/n " thank you Jake I should get going before they come find me, and do anything to get them in trouble"

Jake " thank you again"

y/n " your welcome" you had soon walked off toward the home that was holding the recoms, you had soon reach the place. You had taken some time to prepare yourself, for what was going to happen right now.

y/n " good morning" you had soon pushes back the curtain door and looked at the group. it seems like they were dressed as navi and avatars.

quaritch " good morning we just got done with breakfast"

mansk " yes it seems like I and Z dog still have some cooking skills in us"

y/n " that good when you are all ready meet me outside" the group had said nothing as you soon left them be, and it didn't take them at long to show up outside.

quaritch " hey where is junior"

y/n " okay first of all he not called junior just because he was named miles jr after you, and that was written on some paper it not official and he is name is spider"

lyle " that weird name"

y/n " lyle"

lyle " sorry"

y/n " he not here he went off with his friends today"

Z dog " we were hoping to see him again after yesterday as we didn't off on a good foot"

y/n " well maybe he will be around you all can see him now come on let get going"

Quaritch “ so what are we going to do today beautiful” 

Y/n “ we are going to see now you all can ride on the clans creatures, come on it will be good and best start this what I did when I joined the clan” 

Masnk “ yes ma’am” you had laughed and bit as you shake your head and walked off from them, and they followed after as well. Soon reaching the meadow where the fire horse live along with everything else. 

Y/n “ learning to ride these horse will be new and interesting to you all” 

Lopez “ wow so these are horse but pandora version”

Y/n “ yes”

Prager “ wow i never thought I will ever be up this close to one of them” 

Y/n “ well you will be getting closer to them today now come on don’t stand there all day, now these dire horse will be the ones you get to choose from today and make the bond” 

Quaritch “ well comes on everyone let get this started with” the group had soon found some dire horse that they wanted, and were doing well so far. 

Y/n “ you all are doing well building a relationship with the dire horse and now you can try to ride them” 

Z dog “ are you sure” 

Y/n “ just give it a try” the recoms had tried to ride the dire horse but has fallen off time and time again soon time laughter had been heard, you had looked back to crowd of children along with the sully kids and spider. 

Quaritch “ well it good we found a way to make someone laugh today” 

Y/n “ yes they children seem to find the whole situation funny after all” 

Tuk “ aunt y/n” tuk soon ran towards you and stoped when she reached you the older kdis were not that far behind her. 

Y/n “ hello kids it seems like you are doing well” 

Kiri “ yes we got done with helping norm and the other scientists all the clans kids were coming back, and saw our guest raring to ride horses” 

Spider “ yeah are doing a good job” 

Quaritch “ thanks kid” 

Spider “ yeah sure” 

Neteyam “ have you seen our parents or anyone else lately” 

Y/n “ no I havent seen them I think they are busy at the moment” 

Neteyam “ oh okay” 

quaritch " hey kids we wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday, we meant no harm we just came looking for anwsers as we had been told lies"

kids " ........"

quaritch " yeah I'm guessing we are not getting forgive right away with you all and everyone else here"

y/n " quaritch it going to take some time for everyone to believe that you are sorry, the last time any of the older clan members saw you was a time of sorrow and bad as well ... it not going to be easy"

neteyam " yes and the return of the RDA hasn't made everything better as well as now life has changed"

lyle " yes"

lo'ak " we all know what you done to our family as well and our aunt as well, when she was still human"

y/n " children it okay don't work yourself up"

tuk " I'm hungry and sleepy"

neteyam " come on etude lets get you home I will find you something to eat and you can take a nap later" neteyam had picked up tuk and started walking away with her.

neteyam " are you three coming"

lo'ak " we are going to stay here bro we will be good" neteyam had nodded his head not before glaring at the recoms, he didnt trust them that much after yesterday and their history with his parents and you.

prayer " wow that was intense"

y/n " well neteyam is overprotective of his family and clan"

mansk " will you kids be helping your aunt or watching us"

lo'ak " both but maybe the second one as our mother still doesn't like you and I don't think she doenst want any of us near you even y/n as well"

quaritch " well maybe that you three are like us but more navi and peaceful maybe you can help us learn the ways"

kiri " we can see if we can help that much but the rest of way of you all making lives here, will be up the great mother"

prayer " that great mother that your god right"

kiri " it seems like you have alot to learn"

lo'ak " I'm going to join neteyam and tuk" lo'ak soon turn around looking at the recoms as well, leaving kiri and spider there.

kiri " aunt y/n what ever decision you make we will follow your lead"

y/n " thank you my loves" kiri had started walking away but she soon noticed spider was still standing there, she waited for him to come with her.

spider " if mom asked me to help you all I will...."

quaritch " thank you ...."

spider " if you do anything to hurt my mom, cousins and anyone I love I will make sure you regret it"

quaritch " we understand"

spider " good mom I will see you later" spider soon walked to kiri and they both soon walked off, but they had done the same action as netyeam and lo'ak.

y/n " well it seems like I was right this is not going to be easy for any of you, but maybe in time it will work out"

quaritch " thanks I hope I can show you and our son that I will to make this change to a better man or navi"

y/n " yes let see what happens now come on let get back to the lesson and have a break" the group had done what you told them, the rest of the day went but you deeply knew. It was not going to be an easy adaptation for any of the recoms and forgiveness will not be coming easy as they all thought.

[spacewinter]

Ik it's probably been done a million times, but (if you're still taking prompts) I'd love to see your thoughts on the flyboys and/or the daggers finding out that IceMav are together. Like, a lot of the times it's portrayed that all the flyboys knew before IceMav told them, but what if they didn't? What if they were actually FANTASTIC at hiding that they're in a full-on, committed relationship? Or on the opposite end, all the Daggers suspecting IceMav are together, and finally getting confirmation, but in some hilarious way, like walking in on the two mid-makeout session?

As much as Bradley likes to make fun of his Uncles, they're smart and competent men who achieved great things. Sure, Mav may be a reckless idiot sometimes, but he didn't get where he is by being actually stupid. Iceman is a whole new level of brilliant, perfectly controlled and only showing what he wants to show.

They managed to keep their relationship secret from the Navy for years and years, and Bradley is yet to get out of them exactly how much time it took the class of '89 to figure out they're together.

Point is, Iceman and Maverick are good at hiding their relationship, passing their affections as close friendship and long years of knowing each other. They're subtle but smitten, and Bradley's heart skips a beat whenever he sees their smiles. It's cute, as much as two decorated Naval aviators can be cute.

He's reveling in the fact that he's the only one to really know, to see them being silly and in love. Ever since he and Mav reconciled, Bradley has been a frequent guest at their house, and he got to see that their love never weakened. Still, they only for better at hiding (probably out of habit).

This is why Hangman’s teasing remark comes as such a surprise.

They're discussing their plans for the weekend after a whole week of being cooped up doing paperwork. Bradley is ready to tear his hair out, and his friends aren't doing much better. The only one who seems unaffected is Hangman, but Rooster is used to it by now - the blonde is almost annoyingly cool and level-headed at all times.

"What are your plans, old man? Risking your life on a bike instead of a plane?" Payback teases, getting an elbow in the side from Fanboy.

Maverick finishes his beer and stands up with a smile. "Nah, I'm staying inside. An old friend is coming to visit, so no strenuous activities for me this weekend."

It's only because Rooster is so (unfortunately) attituned to Hangman that he hears what the man mutters under his breath.

"Oh, so getting railed by your hunky blonde lover ain't strenuous? I see how it is."

Bradley chokes on his drink, and Mav shoots him a concerned look before finally walking away after Rooster shakes his head. As soon as he calms down, he turns fo glare at Hangman.

"What did you say?" he hisses.

Hangman raises a slow eyebrow. "That...getting railed can be a strenuous activity? If you never took a lover that's on you, Roo, but my partners were always left exhausted."

He forcibly removes all thoughts of Hangman taking a lover (taking him maybe, all golden skin and sharp grins, strong hands on Rooster’s hips-). That's not the point now.

"How- No, I mean, how did you- Hunky?" Rooster ends up squealing. Other Daggers, the traitors, just look on in amusement.

"I mean, I'm not into older blondes but I have eyes, and Kazansky's still got it," Hangman drawls with a smirk. "He was a serious hunk in his younger years, I don't blame Mav."

"No kidding," Fanboy chimes in. "Even the frosted tips were hot, it's unfair."

"He was pretty climable," Coyote agrees. "And they gave that whole opposites attract going on."

Rooster listens as his friends talk about how hot Uncle Ice, the actual Admiral Kazansky used to be, and just tries to understand how he ended up here. Years, decades even without anyone realizing, only for the Daggers to click it immediately.

"Roo, you good?" Hangman asks suddenly, a warm hand on his shoulder snapping Bradley out of it. "Don't tell me you haven't realized. You fucking lived with them, for fuck's sake!"

Rooster takes offense. "Of course I realized! But no one ever did, so how did you-"

"Honestly, Bradshaw," the blonde mutters. "I have a pair of eyes and a working gaydar, it's not like it's hard."

"They're not being super subtle," Payback agrees. "But it's sorta cute."

"They've been going for decades, I bet, and they're still this disgusting," Hangman chuckles. "Makes you hope, ey?"

Rooster locks his gaze with Hangman's, and them immediately looks away when he feels himself blush. There's heavy implication in the man's voice, and he's not sure what to do with it yet. For now, he's too busy wondering if his uncles and the Navy are just that blind and stupid, or are the Daggers that observant and smart.

Neither option is attractive to consider.

Curiously enough, the Daggers don't bring it up with Maverick, but now that he's looking, Rooster can see their smirks and eye rolls whenever Mav smiles at his phone or blushes. Slowly, he has to admit defeat - maybe Mav and Ice aren't being as sneaky as they used to be.

It all comes to a head a few weeks later, when Mav invites them over for barbecue. Iceman isn't due to be back until Wednesday, and Rooster knows that Mav is feeling a bit lonely, which is why they're invited. The older pilot even invites them to an actual house, instead of the hangar, and Rooster had to admit it's not very subtle.

"Damn, this is nice," Payback whistles looking at the huge house. "Must be nice, being a kept man."

Phoenix elbows him in the side, but doesn't deny. "Well, the Admiral sure makes good money."

Rooster rolls his eyes, leading them to the door. He knows it's going to be open because Mav always keeps it open when he invites him over, and so he confidently walks in, the Daggers following after him. He's just about to call out for the older pilot, when a loud moan sounds in the house.

They all freeze.

Then, Hangman smirks like a cat that got the cream and firmly turns around. "Trust me, folks, you don't wanna take a glance at the couch," he whispers. He was the one closest to the entrance of the living room, and the only one with a good view. "I dunno about you, but I don't need to see our Captain getting his back blown out."

That breaks the tension and they spill outside, sniffling their laughter and leaning against each other. Rooster has experience with this, having caught his guardians foing at it multiple times, but it's much funnier with friends.

"My gaydar is never wrong," Hangman announces when they calm down. "Good for them, honestly."

"What, you also wanna rail a mouthy brunette into a couch?" Coyote asks with a shit-eating smirk, throwing an arm around Jake's shoulders.

The blonde shrugs and his eyes meet Rooster’s again.

"If he's willing."

When Maverick finally opens the door with a sheepish smile, Rooster ducks inside immediately if only to hide his furious blush. Hangman's laughter follows him through, and he almost walks into Iceman.

"Hi, Admiral, please say you disinfected the couch," Hangman says immediately, respectful but cheeky. "Or do we have to avoid it?"

Iceman is silent for a long while, before he bursts out laughing. He turns to his blushing husband and smirks.

"Mav, you didn't tell me your Daggers were worse than you."

It's a nice evening. They did disinfect the couch.

[carrotkicks]

Bsd/fnaf au thoughts

Okay, ready? bc imma dump the entire storyline right here right now:

Mori Ougai and Fukuzawa Yukichi are the co-founders of Feddie Faber's Pizzeria (They had some trademark issues to work around), and they were the best of friends and they both wanted to use the power of pizza, robots and capitalism to entertain kids. But Mori had secret, evil ulterior motives, he made a children's pizza place to get close enough to MURDER THEM! That's right, Mori was secretly a child serial killer! why? Bc the souls of dead kids had the ability to extend one's lifespan and bro was really into the prospect of immortality.

Mori's first victim, Yosano Akiko, his friend Fukuzawa's daughter. It was young Yosano's birthday and she was locked out in the rain from her own party, hosted at Feddie Faber's. That's when Mori snekily pulled up to her and MURDERED HER. The security puppet robot at Feddie's tried to save her but ended up malfunctioning in the rain and died beside Yosano. Her soul fused into the security puppet and she was REBORN in to the vengeful Puppet who vowed to give life to any kid murdered by Mori and take him down...

Fast forward to 1983, and Mori's son, 15 year old Dazai Osamu is causing trouble at his younger sibling Yumeno Kyuusaku's birthday party at Feddie's. Dazai has been taunting them and sticking his sobbing sibling's head in the highly volatile springlock Golden Feddie animatronic suit. Sudennly a freak accident occured and the super dangerous springlocks in Feddie's jaw malfunction and they CRUSH Kyuu's frontal lobe. They die. And Dazai is overwhelmed with guilt at being the one to cause their death.

Mori, devastated by his youngest's death vows to never let his kids be killed by animatronics ever again. But he still wants to keep up his child murder hobby. ITS OKAY IF IT ISN'T HIS KIDS. Mori said #notmychildren. Not too long afterwards his youngest child Elise gets scooped by one of his special Child Killer Robots, Circus Bebito (again, trademark conflict), and she eventually possesses that robot. Now the family is left with just Mori and Dazai.

The year is 1985, and Dazai wants to die. He still hangs around his father's pizzeria, and let a few of the regulars get close to him. You could maybe call it friendship.

First, there's Edogawa Ranpo, an older kid that Dazai thought was cool. Ranpo liked detective stories and the gross sugary candy from the prize counter and only played the easy, high ticket yield games in the arcade. Dazai though that was very cool too, especially the detective part. Unfortunately Ranpo's passion for investigation would be his downfall.

Next we have Higuchi, a young kid who found an inordinate amount of joy from the robotic animal performers at Feddie Faber's. Higuchi was a naive kid though, and her trust in the Feddie's character's would be her end....

Izumi Kyouka spent a lot of time playing at Feddie's. She's a pretty shy kid, but cared a lot for her friends in loved ones, a really strong protective streak, one that would get her into danger. Dazai held a lot of fondness for Kyouka, but that couldn't be said for

Her older brother and his no. 1 enemy, Nakahara Chuuya, but looking back on it, Dazai would probably call him his best friend. Chuuya was an employee at Feddie's, and Dazai had some of the most fun in his teenage years harrassing Chuuya's while he tried to serve pizzas in peace. But Chuuya cared too much about his family and seriously lacked self preservation skills, maybe if he kept his head down like a good employee he would have survived.

Finally, there's Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. Dazai never liked Akutagawa, but he did like to bully Akutagawa. Dazai regrets his cruel behavior, the boy didn't deserve what happened to him.

None of the five kids made it out of Feddie's alive. Their disappearances in the summer of '85 was infamously known as the Dissappeared Kids Ordeal (some publication in America got dirst dibs on a catchier name for a similar situation.)

The next person who needed to disappear was their killer, Mori himself. All he needed to do was collect enough samples of the life lengthening soul powers from the child-stuffed animatronics he made and he was set. But, PUPPET YOSANO (yeah she's back) wouldn't allow that, she gifts life to the dead children ghosts and they unionize against Mori. He, in a last ditch effort to hide from the ghosts after him, jumps into his springlock murder suit. The springlock mechanisms fail on him and he gets crushed to death in the suit. The Feddie's day crew eventually find him and, not wanting to alert another major scandal for the company, they seal him inside a back room to rot away forever

Dazai spends the last year of his childhood alone.

He knew his father had something to do with all the death he's experienced throughout his life but he needed the full picture. So Dazai took a *calculated risk* he followed his fathers instruction that he left behind.

> go to the Circus Bebito Party Bunker, finish up the business for me. you will know the truth about what happened to your sister and friends.

Dazai did and he learned about Mori's dark objectives. He discovered his old notes about the kids he killed,

Higuchi was inside the chicken animatronic, she was led away by the killer in a springlock suit

Kyouka ended up inside the bunny. she just wanted to know where her friend and questioned the costumed "employee" who was with him last.

Chuuya was stressed searching for his younger sister, stumbled into the wrong backroom at the wrong time with a conveniently empty fox animatronic at hand. He just wished he didnt trust his boss as much.

Ranpo's attempt at playing detective really didnt end well when he got too close too the truth. Ranpo always liked Feddie more than the other character, but that didnt mean he wanted to get shoved into it.

Akutagawa ended up in the decommissioned Golden Feddie. In a twisted way the two people Dazai hurt the most ended up demonically possessing the same robot.

Dazai heard enough, he was about to leave when. HE DONE GOT SCOOPED. See at his brief tenure working at Circus Bebito's Party Bunker, he got tricket by Fyodor the Circus Ballerina, Nikolai the Circus Feddie, Sigma the Circus Fox and his sister Elise, the Circus Bebito. The Circus robots all fused together to for THE DECAY OF ROBOTS. They trap Dazai in the Scooping Room and Scoop his insides out. And then Dazai got what he wanted and died.

But not really. Dazai was somehow still alive... see, Dazai was injected with the magical dead child soul juice that granted him an extra long life. So his body was dead and hand no internal organs, he was decaying but he somehow survived. Which means that his father did too somehow.

Dazai now has a mission! He wrapped his rotting body in place with bandages, got a security uniform and set to work. He needs to go back to Feddie's and realease the agonized souls of his dead friends, kill the Decay of Robots, and kill Mori. Then he can retire peacufully to the afterlife.

So.. can Dazai survive five nights at Feddie's?

[redskull199987]

Of Thoughts and Actions

Jaskier x fem!reader  word count:0.9k Warnings:spoilers for season 3, apart from that just fluff Summary: You didn't see your friend Jaskier for a long time, since he split up from your group after the events at Kaer Morhen. So, when Geralt suggested that you ask the bard for help, you were more than happy to see your singing friend again… Masterlist

You watched the scene in front of you unfold with a smile on your face. Jaskier´s sweet voice was slowly lulling Ciri to sleep, after you had spent the evening playing cards against each other. Jaskier, of course, had lost all of his money to the young girl. Finally seeing her smiling again, having fun again, after all she's been through lately, made you feel like it was still worth fighting for. For Ciri, and her future. “What are you thinking about?”

Your head shot up, as Jaskier suddenly stood in front of you, his slender frame towering above you. “Just thinking about our journey so far”, You mumbled, as you slowly stood up, starting to gather the plates at cups from the small table you had been playing cards at, until a few minutes ago. “Anything in particular?”, Jaskier smiled, as he helped you clean up, picking up a plate. “Oh, maybe the one time, Geralt and I saved your ass?”, you chuckled, playfully hitting his arm. Jaskier mockingly opened his mouth, acting like he was utterly shocked by your words.

“Fine then”, he mumbled, stepping closer to me,”Remember when I taught you how to dance, that one particular evening where you had too much ale?”

You felt your cheeks redden, as you remembered how much of a fool you had made yourself. even Geralt had laughed at your sloppy dance moves, and Geralt never laughed, ever.

Jaskier had seemed to notice your discomfort and slowly stepped closer. He looked down at you for a second, before carefully grabbing your hands. “You know, I always thought you were the most beautiful Dancer, I had ever seen in my life.”, he smiled, causing you to blush even more. Since when were you so easily flushed? You were a great fighter, that had been through many battles along with your companions. But  now you were a blushing mess in front of the smiling bard. When you didn't say anything in return, Jaskier just continued to recount the story:”Not because you were the best at dancing or the most experienced, but because you enjoyed yourself. You were having fun to no end, just being yourself. That's what I´ve always loved about you, Y/N.” You were speechless at this point. You always knew that what you felt for Jaskier was different than what you felt for Yennefer or Geralt. It was more than friendship. But you never believed that he was feeling the same way, in fact you still didn't believe it. 

Against all your better judgement, you slowly pulled your hands away from Jaskier and excused yourself, saying that you needed some fresh air. And within seconds, you had left the small hut, stepping out into the night. 

Taking in a deep breath, you looked up admiring the stars that glistened in the sky. Upon seeing your breath come out in small huffs, you realised how cold it was. You slowly started walking around a bit to conjure some warmth, but it had no effort. After two laps around the hutt, you were still shivering. You debated going back inside for a second, but you didn't quite know if you were ready to talk to Jaskier again. 

The decision was made for you, as you felt how Jaskier´s coat was being wrapped around you. The purple material easily engulfed your form, preventing you from shivering. You turned your head to see said bard standing behind you, one of his hands was resting on the small of your back, as he wrapped the coat further around your form. “Thank you.”, you mumbled, looking back down. “You seemed cold”, he smiled, now stepping in front of you. His hands came up to adjust the collar around you. You felt his touch linger, as his bright eyes shifted towards your face. “Y/N”, he suddenly said. His hand rose to gently caress your cheek. Slowly leaning into his touch, you listened to his shallow breathing to calm yourself down.

“Jaskier.”, you finally said, looking up at him. He only sighed, seemingly not really knowing what to say:”I-I havent been honest with you,Y/N” “About what?”, you uttered quietly. He didn't say anything for a second, just staring at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“I really want to kiss you.”, he suddenly blurted out. You only smiled at him:”then do it.”

It only took Jaskier mere seconds to press his lips to yours. You felt his hands pulling you closer by the waist, as he deepened the kiss, his lips softly working against yours. Only as you parted, you actually realised what had just happened. Yours eyes widened, as you looked at his dreamy face. “I've wanted to do that for ages”, he admitted. A smile crossed your lips at his words:”I´m glad that you finally did.” “Oh I could kiss you again a thousand times, my love”, he chuckled, slightly squeezing your waist. “I wouldn't have a problem with that”, you whispered, before connecting your lips with his once more. Bonus: Ciri´s eyes slowly fluttered open, as the soft sunlight hit her face. Upon sitting up in her bed, she started to look around the room in search for her two friends. She expected them to be in their separate beds, still sleeping but Ciri couldn't help but to smile at what she saw in front of her. Right there, just a few metres away from her, you and Jaskier were huddled up together in the tiny bed. She could barely see your smaller form, as Jaskier was laying on top of you, his head resting on your chest. “I knew it”, she mumbled to herself, before slowly getting up to get ready for the day.