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elsweetheart · 1 year

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what you heard : part one

synopsis: you start to develop feelings for your boyfriends dealer.

♪ what you heard — sonder ♪

cw: reader is a bisexual woman dating a man, brief descriptions of having sex with a man, weed, alcohol, ellie’s sexual thoughts, blink and you miss it mention of throwing up, a man being really mean and a bad boyfriend, gay girl drama, ellie is kind of a homewrecker but reader doesn’t technically cheat, but mentions of it. kind of angsty at times? a little?

an: whew this is kinda lengthy !! idk how many words so… don’t ask me :( i hope you all enjoy it! i’ll start writing part two asap!

Ellie didn’t hate any of her customers, no. That would be bad for business. She just simply… preferred some over the others. Louis was one of those customers that she wouldn’t exactly reserve her best weed for. Not originally, at least. He was like a lot of the other guys on campus, average. Brown hair with the same old outfits, love of sports, and friend group. She could find one hundred of him. She kept a pretty exclusive clients list, not wanting to overwhelm herself with business whilst she’s really trying this year to stay on top of her studies. He wasn’t the most polite, and he was always showing up without texting first — but he paid, and that was good enough to keep him on as a customer.

Alright, maybe that wasn’t really the reason Ellie kept him on as a customer.

She always liked to check out the social media accounts of the people she sold to, try and figure out what kind of person they were, who they knew, and if they seemed like the type to give her up if a cop came knocking. Also, simply put — the girl was nosy. Don’t let her nonchalant demeanour fool you, her Insta-stalking skills rivalled the FBI. She knew she probably shouldn’t, and she did feel a little weird doing it — scrolling on her bed one evening in a hoodie and basketball shorts, she typed in Louis’ name to the Instagram search bar.

He had one picture up of you, the rest were pictures of him and his friends at parties. Real classy, she thought. She clicked the picture, wondering what kind of girl would have to be desperate enough to go out with a guy this… meh, and oh… Oh. You were smoking hot. It was a halloween throwback, a basic couple costume with Louis dressed as the devil and you, ironically enough dressed as an angel. He kept his sweaty pink hand on the curve of your ass as the two of you laughed. She wondered what was funny. He got lucky, she thought. Very lucky.

Ellie tapped you, and a tag emerged on the screen with your name. Pretty name, of course. Private account — much to her disappointment.

It would be totally inappropriate to follow you, right? Her customers girlfriend. Ellie clicked her own profile, gazing at it thoughtfully. Her profile picture was a black screen, and she had zero pictures up on her account. She had a considerable amount of followers, given her reputation but she didn’t follow many back — just a few very loyal customers, and her best friends Jesse and Dina. It would be weird to follow you right? Yes. Very weird, Ellie. She closed out the app, and pretty much forgot about it.

It was always the same exchange with Louis. He turned up, either unannounced or 2 hours late — burp, demand weed whilst barely sparing Ellie a glance or a thank you, and then head out. She didn’t always mind — not being a huge fan of small talk anyway, though she could do without the burp. He’d had texted earlier in the day, asking — no, telling Ellie that he would be passing by to pick up his usual ‘at some point’. A quiet knock rapt at the door around 02:23PM. Ellie swung the door open, coming face to face with you.

“Hi… Ellie?” You smiled. Hopeful, sweet, even prettier in person. You were wearing a little sundress with the cheap thin material that hugged every curve on your body, and if she stared a little longer like she wanted to she’d start to border on creepy. Ellie cleared her throat, fighting out a greeting and praying it would come out relatively normal.

“Yeah.” Was what she landed on. Whatever, play it cool. Pretend you didn’t try and stalk her Instagram.

“Louis isn’t coming, the weed is for me and he told me where to buy from, so… hi.” You grinned before telling her your name like she didn’t already know it.

“Hey. I’m Ellie.” And with that, she stepped aside and let you in.

It was like you brought the sunshine in from outside with you, because as soon as you stepped into her room Ellie felt too warm in her grey hoodie. She pushed the sleeves up as your eyes flickered around her dorm, realised she felt stupid and pushed them back down.

“How much you want?” She was pulling out the metal box from her drawer, glancing up at you as your brows furrowed unsurely — thinking as you tugged at your glossed lip. Ellie tried not to stare.

“Uh—” You breathed, and it relaxed Ellie slightly to see that you seemed more nervous than she did somewhat— just for a different reason. “Louis told me to just ask for what he usually gets? I’m sorry, I’ve never bought my own weed before.” You cringed, and then cringed again at the word choice. Ellie smiled fade into a soft chuckle with a nod that said ‘I bet you haven’t.’ She should have guessed, when did pretty girls ever buy their own weed?

“You’re good. I know what his usual is.” Ellie reassured, digging around in the nuggets. She pulled a couple out, placing them down on her scale before bagging them up. You held out your hand unsurely, and she pressed the plastic baggie into it. Your mouth opened to say something, and Ellie’s hand froze above yours as she watched you — trying to work out what might be wrong. “What? Is this not…”

“No, sorry. It’s perfect. I assume. I’m not sure. I just… I don’t know how to roll these. Lou told me to buy my own weed seeing as I am the one who wanted to smoke and — it’s okay. I’ll just Google it.” You shook your head, feeling your cheeks turn warm at your own rambling. Ellie stopped you as you went to shove the baggie into her pocket with a calm smile, raising her eyebrows as if to say ‘Hey, it’s okay. Chill.’

“I can roll it for you. It’s no biggie.”

You visibly relaxed, and Ellie could tell because of the way your chest collapsed slightly, not suffocating your tits against the material of your dress anymore which she couldn’t help but glance at as you looked away. “Thanks. Sorry.” You guffawed, your embarrassment seeming a little relieved as you stepped back, leaning against her desk as she pulled her chair and tray out to do the rolling.

“Louis not buying your weed for you?” She conversed, eyes on the rolling paper as she carefully packed it. Your head snapped towards her, realising that you were the one who blabbed that. Her eyes glanced up at you briefly when you didn’t immediately answer.

“No. It’s… okay though.” You justified, a mass of shame swirling just below your rib cage. You didn’t wanna talk shit about your boyfriend to a stranger, even if the stranger had a totally welcoming vibe about her — and your boyfriend was cheap. Ellie tsk’d lightheartedly, shaking her head. “Against the rules, man.” She comment quietly.

“What rules?” You furrowed your brows defensively as she continued packing.

“You don’t let your girl buy her own weed?” She repeat obviously. Something about the way she said it made the embarrassment in your stomach dissipate into butterflies, which widened your eyes slightly at the disloyal feeling.

“Oh.”

Silence for a beat or two as Ellie concentrate. You notice the lesbian flag on her pinboard.

“It’ll probably just be me and my friends that smoke it anyway. The weathers nice so we’ll be at one of those frat pool parties… You don’t go to those?” You tilt your head, and her eyes lingered on you as you did so at the sugary sweetness in your gesture. God, you made her teeth hurt.

“Nah. I hear those things get weird and horny. Straight people… no offence.” She glances towards you once more, the ‘no offence’ holding little to no weight. Ellie didn’t seem like the type to give a shit about offence, anyways.

“I’m bisexual, but I understand.” You giggle, pushing yourself back to sit more on her desk, swinging your legs as you watch her roll. Her fingers froze for just a moment, before she continued rolling.

“Oh yeah?” She conversed, absolutely despising how a flame of hope flickered in her chest. Nope. Not doing this again.

“Yeah, actually I…” You chuckled. “I started college with the hopes of finding a girlfriend. Things just… didn’t end up that way I guess.” You shrugged, and you seemed happy enough but Ellie could sense the disappointment buried deep.

“Huh.” Ellie let out as she licked the rolling paper, firmly closing it up. She kind of hoped you were watching her as she did so. You weren’t. “You know if you squint really hard Louis could be a lesbian.”

“Really?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Nope.” Ellie pushed her chair back, standing. You chuckled and she smirked, pushing the two pre rolls she’d made into a bigger baggie and then presenting them to you. “This gonna be enough?”

“Oh yeah, I’m a total lightweight.” You giggled girlishly and she nodded, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she watched you fish around in your purse, unzipping an inside pocket to stuff the rolls inside.

“Cute.” She let slip with a smile, and your heart fluttered a little. You berated yourself for that silently.

“What extra do I owe you? Do you charge for rolling or… I don’t know how this usually works.” You pulled out your pink zip up wallet, the zip a glittery jewel between your fingers.

“Nah. No extra charge.” She held her hands up and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. That was a lie. She did usually charge extra for that, but one thing about Ellie was that she was a sucker for the pretty girl discount.

“Really?” And out came the doe eyes, your dark heavy eyelashes weighty above your pretty eyes as you looked up at her in awe. It was Ellie’s hearts turn to flutter.

“Really.” She smirked, not breaking eye contact (much to her surprise) as she pinched the cash payment from you between her pointer and middle finger knuckles, only swallowing down the giddiness when your fingers brushed hers. You grinned, zipping your wallet back up and tucking it away, feet tapping on the floor a little like you just couldn’t contain your excitement (Which made Ellie want to squeeze you.)

“I know you said it’s not your thing, but you should come to one of the pool parties. Most of the time the people there are cool. It’ll be good for business.” You wiggled your eyebrows which made Ellie’s smile uncontainable, teeth actually on display now which she honestly never did. No one was ever funny or cute enough.

“Maybe.” She rolled her eyes with a smile, walking you towards her door.

“They happen every weekend. Would be cool to see you there.” You fixed your bag over your shoulder before turning back to her. “Nice to meet you, Ellie. You’ll be seeing more of me.” You nodded formally, and the auburn haired girl tore her eyes away from the visible band of your underwear through the material of the dress when you looked back at her, muttering a “Good.”

Ellie always came away from these kind of things wishing she said more. She knew you had a boyfriend, but something about you seemed more curious. Like you weren’t totally against the idea of flirting back. Maybe it was all in her head because of the stupid crush she’d already developed. She didn’t understand it, how could someone like you feel fulfilled by someone like him. Ellie would never let you pay for your own weed, she’d treat you right. She had the means to be able to spoil you, which she didn’t need proof to know that Louis didn’t. Hell, he couldn’t even pay for his girls weed — Ellie knew stingy when she saw it. He probably wasn’t even making you cum. Not like Ellie could anyway, but then again who could? She’d like to think she had a gift — but maybe it was a guitarist-fingers thing, and years of deftly rolling tight joints.

Ellie shook her head free of the thought — sure she was a little grey-moralled — but thinking about finger fucking one of your customers girlfriends on a sunny afternoon felt a little wrong even for her. She was heading off to meet Dina to exchange notes for a class she missed, again just about willing herself to stay focused this semester. The two of them chat over coffee, the notes barely touched as the two friends joked around. When a pensive silence filled the space between them, Ellie spoke up — picking at a hangnail in a way she hoped was casual.

“You ever been to those campus pool parties? The ones at that douchey frat house?” She shrugged, glancing up at her darker haired friend.

“Uh, yeah. Like once or twice.” Dina frowned before snickering, raising a doubtful eyebrow. “What, you interested? You don’t even enjoy regular parties, hermit.”

Ellie’s jaw dropped slightly in offence, letting out a scoff before taking a sip of her coffee — still scalding hot on her tongue. “Excuse me. I’d be there strictly on business. I heard it’s… I was told I should go.” She explained. Dina’s smirk deepened, eyes lowering into slits.

“Who is she?”

“Why do you assume this is about a girl?” She rolled her jewelled eyes, before glancing around the cafe just incase anyone was listening to her pathetic segue into talking about you.

“Because last time I suggested you come with me and Jesse you nearly threw a textbook at my head.” Dina argued, making Ellie sit back in her seat, looking away in defeat as she crossed her arms over her light grey hoodie.

“She’s got a boyfriend. So it doesn’t matter. Just said it would be good for business and… the customer is always right, so I’ve been told.” Ellie rushed out, Dina’s shoulders dropping with a pitying look.

“Oh Ellie. Why put yourself through that?”

“She’s bi — okay stop. This isn’t about her. I was just asking. Fuckin’… forget it.” Ellie flipped the page of her notes now, going to scribble down what Dina had written to get her mind off the conversation.

“Alright, alright.” Her friends held up her hands. “Defensive.”

Ellie didn’t see Louis much from that point on. Same time, every week — you would be on her doorstep. Ellie wasn’t sure if it was just out of convenience, or maybe you had wanted to see her. You had the same spritely, sunshine attitude each time you stepped into her dorm — lighting it up with your smile and your pretty dresses. The auburn haired dealers heart was beginning to ache in a painfully familiar way. An unrequited crush, a girl she couldn’t have. She wished she could say this was the first time she’d crushed on a girl with a boyfriend — but that would be a lie.

Each time you left, the giddiness would fade out into a prickly, warm and uncomfortable anger settling in at the pit of her stomach. Occasionally, you’d let slip the way Louis treat you — and if you didn’t say it, she could tell by the look on your face when his name would come up. Your classes were stressing you out, hence needing her weed to unwind in the first place, and your boyfriend was doing nothing to ease your anxiety, instead choosing to go out and get wasted with his friends each night. You deserved better, and she knew it wasn’t her place to say but shit, it was killing her. You were killing her. She could treat you better.

From outside the frat house, she could hear music, laughter, and water splashing from down the street. Ellie stood with Dina and Jesse, already regretting her decision.

“Fuck this. I’m turning around.” Ellie attempted to swivel, but Jesse grabbed her arm.

“No you’re not. You’re here to sell, remember? Got a friend with money, said he’d pay you good.” He gave her a light shove towards the door, Dina rolling her eyes at the two’s antics. Ellie felt overdressed, wearing her short sleeved blue worn denim shirt unbuttoned over a wife beater and shorts with her Converse, pockets stuffed with pre-rolls gifting her that usual marijuana infused smell that followed her around that said ‘Hey everyone! I’m a dealer!’ Upon stepping out into the backyard, it was clear what kind of party it was. The sun was still shining, and people seemed pretty drunk already — jumping off the low roof and into the pool, girls on the outskirts squealing in their bikinis. The floor was practically vibrating with the bass from a Drake song and the sun was sizzling the back of Ellie’s neck — recipe for a headache, she thought. She’d sell her shit, and get out.

She knew you’d be here. In the back of her mind she knew. And yet, her heart still damn near thudded out her chest when you were suddenly right in front of her, arms extended with a big toothy grin. Ellie had almost panicked, not ready for the confrontation. She hadn’t even gotten herself a drink yet, hadn’t even smoked yet and here you were. You were wearing a white bikini and it looks so pretty against your soft skin. She was looking at your tits again.

Ah, shit.

“Ellie! M’so happy you came! I didn’t think I’d ever see you at one of these!” You all but squealed, throwing your arms around her neck and pulling your body taut against hers. Ellie didn’t have to look at Dina and Jesse to know that their eyebrows were practically in their hairline, taking in the scene in front of them. Your bikini top was damp still clearly having taken a dip in the pool earlier, along with the ends of your hair and she felt the wet triangles pressing damp spots into her own chest, your tits pressed up against her. You even had the nerve to let out a happy little ‘mmph’ moan as your body collided with hers. Were you really that happy to see her? God, if I had a dick right now, it would be rock fuckin’ hard. Thank fuck I don’t, Ellie thought— eyes opening again, not realising that she had squeezed them shut to suppress a moan when she’d hugged you back.

“Uh, yeah! Told you I’d consider it.” She tried to play it cool when she pulled back, taking in your giggly expression. You didn’t let go of her arm as you pulled away, and a waft of alcohol drifted through to Ellie’s nose, suddenly helping her understand the situation a little better. You were pretty drunk, but where was your boyfriend? Ellie scanned behind you, searching for his brunette mop only to be met with several dozens of them. Great. She felt a spike of anger in her chest again, violently protective. Who just leaves their girl wandering around in a bikini, drunk, at a frat party? “Wheres your little boyfriend?” Her expression flattened out, and she caught herself. She didn’t mean for it to come out like… that. Luckily, you were drunk enough to not notice the bitterness in her tone.

“Louis? Oh— uh…” Your bottom lip stuck out as you spun around on your tiptoes to see over heads, scanning the yard for him before spinning back with a shrug. You dropped back down onto the balls of your feet and your tits bounced in Ellie’s peripheral vision. “Who knows.” You giggle, eyes jumping to Ellie’s two friends, silently watching with amused smirks.

“Oh, uh— these are my friends. Dragged me along here. Dina,” She pointed. “And Jesse.” He gave you a little wave.

“Hi!” You chirped with an adorable little wave, before telling them your own name. “I’m not usually this…uh—”

“Drunk?” Ellie leant forward quietly with a smirk, like it was a secret just between the two of you. You giggled, turning back to her, introductions long forgotten as your face morphed into a theatric pout, blown out puppy dog eyes and all.

“Who says I’m drunk? Maybe I’m just really friendly.” You practically pur, suggestiveness dripping off your tone as your hand pulled her by her arm just that little bit closer, soft fingertips over her tattoo. Just as Ellie scrambled for an answer — your name was called in a familiar voice. Louis.

“Babe, there you are.” He sounded irritated, and Ellie straightened her back, jaw squaring ever so slightly. Be friendly, Ellie. He’s a customer — she remind herself. A shitty one, but he still pays you.

“Oh…” He took Ellie in, eyes jumping over her attire before glancing back at you. She just admit, she did look violently lesbian that day — and the body language between her and his girl wasn’t looking all too great to fresh eyes. “Hey.”

You reluctantly let go of Ellie’s arm, which didn’t go unnoticed by the brunette boy.

“I was just catching up with Ellie!” You grinned, and God — were you aware of just how flirtatious you looked batting your eyelashes up at her like that? In front of your boyfriend?

“Yeah, I see that.” Louis’ eyes didn’t leave Ellie’s, which of course she took as a competition without even thinking. She took a step closer, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She stood around 5’7. Taller when she wore boots. Taller if she fixed her posture. He wasn’t much taller than her, so she pretty much met his eye. Her heart skipped a few beats knowing you were watching her, but she held his gaze anyway— tilting her chin up a little. “Thanks for looking after my girl.” He spoke, which almost made Ellie want to laugh.

“Any time.” Eye to eye, the smirk that tugged at her lips held more meaning and the two of you knew it. Oh, she’d look after you alright. Louis’ eyes flickered away, glancing over at Dina and Jesse before back to her, stepping away and putting an arm around your shoulder.

“Come watch me play beer pong?” He spoke to you and you shrugged happily, taking the drink out of his hand and sipping. The freckled dealer couldn’t help but briefly think about how if you were with her she would have cut you off by this point, wrapping an arm around your waist and telling you that you’d had enough to drink, maybe suggest grabbing you a water. As he lead you away, you craned in his hold to wave at Ellie, who waved a few fingers back— watching closely. It was a casual crush before, but now it was on. She didn’t like Louis’ smugness, nor his general attitude or the way he was neglecting you. She had to take you and leave him with nothing. No, Ellie. You’re being like him. She’s not a piece of meat. But she knew the protectiveness didn’t stem from that. Did she think about you sexually? Yeah. But she could give you more than that. You were a sweet girl, and you should be treated as such.

“That was tense.” Dina raised her eyebrows, breaking the auburn haired girls concentration, her gaze snapping back to her friends.

“Oh, uh — he’s fuckin’… weird. I dunno. I give him my shitty weed.” She shrugged it off, looking over her shoulder once more to watch you disappear inside.

“I get it now, though. She’s a total smoke show.” Dina dropped her hand onto Ellie’s shoulder who sighed, shaking off the whole interaction.

“Whatever. I need a drink.” Ellie rolled her eyes, stepping away.

“She was hot.”

“Jesse, it’s okay when I say it. Not when you say it.”

“What? You just called her a smoke show! You’ve never called me that.”

Ellie left the bickering couple behind to find a beer, needing something cool and alcoholic to wind her down. Why was she getting so possessive over someone that wasn’t hers? You were making her feel like a creep, and she didn’t like that. Ellie did not catch feelings easily, despite her past mistakes. So like… what the fuck?

She didn’t see you for two weeks.

Maybe you’d realised you shouldn’t be giving her the eyes. Maybe Louis stepped up his game, who knows. Neither of you had even purchased any weed, and it was approaching exam season so Ellie knew you were stressed. But did she know? Was it presumptuous of her to ‘know’ how you feel?Just based off several occurrences and conversations when you’d come to her dorm to pick up? She tried to shake the feeling of you, your skin grazing hers and your pretty eyes staring up at her — and it was actually working. Maybe time does heal everything. Until of course, she went to the library and the clocks reversed on themselves.

She had to admit, she was falling a little behind in her work. She had gotten so preoccupied in selling that she had almost forgotten to be, well… a student. Her backpack was making her shoulder sore so she switched it to the other as she wandered through the building, fairly quiet for a Tuesday. She felt a pit of irritation bud inside her when she saw someone sat in the seat she wanted, the one that was away from everyone else in the library. She note the pink laptop case, the Hello Kitty stickers on the water bottle, the bracelets on the protruding arm. Oh, it was you.

Ellie was planning to walk on by. You’re here to do work, not flirt or get yourself involved in some kind of sapphic shenanigan. Your head was on the desk, and she figured you had fallen asleep — which almost made her smile fondly before she caught herself. Not yours, Ellie. As she stepped away however, she heard a sniffle. Then another. Ellie froze, willing herself not to do it. It’s not your responsibility Ellie, you can walk away and pretend you never saw. She pursed her lips, turning around anyway.

As she did so, you were lifting your head from the table, wiping your cheeks and nose of tears. You had this pitiful pout on your face, streaming eyes all pink and glossy and your nostrils damp in this oddly adorable way. Ellie still had time to creep away, but she didn’t. She couldn’t.

“You uh… you good?” She stood awkwardly, making you snap your head towards her in surprise. She didn’t miss the way your eyes widened slightly in embarrassment at seeing a familiar face in such a vulnerable moment.

“Oh — Ellie. Um, yes. I’m fine.” You tried, but when you held her doubtful gaze — your lip wobbled again.

“Okay.” Ellie sighed after a beat, pulling up a seat and dragging it to your small table. Yep, she was doing this. “Talk to me.” She spoke in a hushed tone. She was so gentle with her voice and her eyes and her general demeanour — something you weren’t so used to — it soothed you enough to calm you for a moment and you revelled in the unfamiliar but warm feeling she brought you.

“I don’t wanna bore you with it.” You shook your head with an demure chuckle. Ellie wanted to reach forward and wipe your tears away, her hands itched on the table in-front of her instead.

“We’re literally in the library. I promise you that nothing is more boring than my text-book.” She raised an eyebrow with the attempts of making you laugh. Instead, you watched her for a moment. Ellie could tell you were wondering why she was being so nice to you. Does she treat all her customers this way?

“It’s… stupid. Louis just…” You sigh, as if the mere mention of his name makes you cringe. “We’re not that serious. So… I don’t care what he goes off and does in his spare time,” Interesting, Ellie noted. “But he gets really mad. And when he gets mad he gets mean. I guess I just need thicker skin.” Your voice cracked.

“Or you need to be with someone who’s not an asshole.” Ellie snipped before she got the chance to stop herself. Your eyes met hers again, a little wide in shock. “Sorry.” She closed her eyes, collecting herself. You blinked and two fat tears rolled down your cheeks.

“It’s… okay.” You whispered, playing with your bracelet. A silence sat between you two, just the sound of quiet shuffling in the library and your sniffs.

“Look, don’t let him get to you. You don’t… deserve that.” She shook her head and you nodded slowly, accepting. It was as if Louis were purposely giving her more reason to dislike him, and it was getting harder to hide her distaste for him. Snide comments were slipping out more frequently, Shit — she could barely even contain her facial expressions when his name was mentioned. Something had to be done soon, because she didn’t know how much ‘pretending’ she had left in her. Thankfully, the two of you seemed to have developed a bit of a friendship — so she felt less guilty about bashing your boyfriend, as you seemed understanding due to his often unlikeable ways.

“You done here soon?” Ellie looked around at the library. You wiped your cheek, hitting save on your laptop and shrugging.

“Didn’t really have any work to do, just didn’t know where to go.” You pout sadly, making Ellie have to dig her nails into her seat this time so that she didn’t lean forward and kiss it off you.

“Y’wanna smoke? On me. You need cheering up.” She stood up, swinging her backpack back on, studying long forgotten. You looked up at her hopefully, a glint of reluctance in your eye. You didn’t know why it felt wrong, you weren’t technically doing anything wrong. Just two friends hanging out, right? Louis wouldn’t know that you’re attracted to her. You wasn’t even sure if Louis remembered that you were bisexual for Gods sake, despite telling him a whole bunch of times.

“Really? I can pay you Ellie…” Your eyebrows knit together, and she was already shaking her head.

“My treat. I don’t like seeing pretty girls cry. Makes me wanna cry. You want me to cry?” She joked, pointing at herself in disbelief. She felt relief at the giggle that made its way out your throat, covering your mouth as to not disturb the other library goers. Pretty girls. The words echoed around your head until your face was hot before it dropped into your stomach and made a nest there.

“Okay.” You agreed after a moment. What harm could it do? Louis was an asshole, and the guilt began to slip away as you stood up — remembering all the nasty things he’d said to you.

“Alright, good.” Ellie grinned, turning her face away for a moment so maybe you wouldn’t see how excited she was. You did.

“Thats a terrible first high story.” You giggled, taking a draw from the joint.

“What? Fuck you let’s hear yours then!” Ellie gaped, leaning forward from her seat on her bed to take the joint from you as you exhaled. You bit back your smile, letting your pink, watery eyes sail off in thought at you recalled your first time smoking.

“Kay, so… I was 17.” You staged dramatically, widening your eyes slightly as she smirked at your theatrics, leaning back with her eyes glued to you. If you weren’t so blazed, maybe you’d feel nervous under her simmering gaze. “Best friends brother let us smoke some in the backyard with his friends. I tried to play it cool, but I smoked too much and start laughing and I couldn’t stop. Like — it was painful, and I was scared because I couldn’t stop laughing. And they were all looking at me like what the fuck… so I went inside, tried to calm myself down and I threw up on the carpet. Like a distressed cat.” You pouted lightheartedly as Ellie chuckled along with your story.

“Threw up? How strong was the weed? Damn.” She laughed and you shook your head.

“It might have been the shots we’d done before hand to calm our nerves. Bad idea.” You cringed and she nodded, eyes still piercing into you as her laughter died down.

“That might’ve been it, yeah.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as she brought the joint to her lips once again, sucking in as she inhaled the pungent smoke. Ellie always got this confidence about her when she smoked. Well — she always had this slightly cocky demeanour about her, but for the most part it was an act. A need to protect herself. A defence mechanism that helped her get by — being a dealer was a social ass job. But smoking made that feeling real. She knew that was bad, relying on weed for real confidence and all, but hey — she’ll take what she can get.

“How you feeling? Any better?” She tested the waters, almost sorry she brought it up when you remembered Louis’ existence, expression melting a little into one of slight disappointment. One that said ‘Oh yeah… him.’ Like you’d forgotten for a moment.

“I guess. Not gonna let it bother me like you said. I don’t have the energy.” You shrugged, tearing your gaze away to study your baby pink manicure instead. Ellie scoffed out a little chuckle, finally stubbing out the joint. The noise attracted your attention and you met her analytical stare.

“Can I… ask what you see in that guy? Not judging just… curious.” She held her hands up in defence, but you didn’t exactly jump to his rescue. Infact it took you a moment to think about it.

“I don’t…” You stop yourself from saying ‘I don’t know’, your pride still burning despite the weed letting your guard down. “He’s… nice most of the time. Kinda guy your parents want you to bring home. He’s not as bad as he seems around other people. I guess he makes me feel wanted when we’re together?” You consider, but the way you say it makes Ellie think that you don’t even fully believe it. “I think… it was gonna be just sex. When I first met him anyway, but if I’m being totally honest the sex isn’t worth it on its own so I dunno… I thought I’d feel more fulfilled by a commitment, you know?”

Ellie was delighted, to be honest. It was music to her ears. You were just spewing about how unfulfilled you were, and she was starting to feel more and more confident that she could convince you that there was a bigger and better world out there. She laughed, openly — letting the joy of the moment go to her head for a minute.

“Oh that’s funny?” You giggled back, chucking a small brown sentimental looking teddy bear at her from her bed. You pursed your lips and she could tell despite your laughter you were knocked slightly insecure by her reaction.

“A little.” She looks off to the side. You want to chuck something else at her but there’s nothing to throw.

“Why?” You push. You know why.

“Your boyfriend can’t fuck.” Her stomach tensed as another laugh bubbled up and you rolled your eyes theatrically, pushing yourself up just so you can dramatically change your position to face the other way on the bed, arms crossed and brow creased.

“Not opening up to you again.” You push out and she nudges you gently with her foot, a more sympathetic (yet equally amused) expression still at the surface.

“No, I’m sorry. Go on.” She waved her a hand a little in the smoky room, nudging you again with her sock covered toe.

“Thats it! There’s nothing else to it. My boyfriend can’t fuck and it sucks. I hate everything.” You complain, not daring to face her. She can’t help but burst out laughing again, the back of her head leaning back to rest on the wooden headboard as she runs a hand over her eyes, shielding herself from the bright dorm light, and you. She lets out an ‘ahhh’ at the end of her outburst.

She hears you whine her name, and she takes more pity on you this time purely because you sound so cute.

“Alright uh— tell me what he’s doing wrong. I’ll give you pointers to give to him so he can fix his shit.” She tries suddenly, as if just being struck by the idea — and she feels you slowly look at her. She pushes her chin down to her chest, looking at you now as she removes her hand from her eyes. You blink at her a couple of times, still pretty, still high as a kite.

You inhale through your nose, eyes drifting off in thought as you turn back towards her, invested, tucking your feet beneath your ass. You hum, coming up blank. “I don’t know. I feel like… you either got it or you don’t, you know? Sex is… emotional. Well, it should be. To him it’s just… getting off.” You shrug, opting to pick at a loose thread on her grey bed throw than look at her. The smirk is still dying on her lips like the slither of sunlight resting on water at the culmination of a sunset. She takes a little longer to think, brain fogged by her high.

“So… okay.” She pushes her palms into the bed to sit up a little more. “What do you like? I don’t really pin you as someone who… wants to be in control.” She analyses, watching you carefully for a reaction. She notices the flick up of your eyebrows and guesses — correct.

“With him there’s no… no one is in control. It’s not one person calling the shots or any kind of dynamic it’s just… we just fuck and that’s it.” You sound sad this time, like bringing the conversation to forefront was making you realised just how unhappy you were.

“Do you cum?” She asks abruptly, and you nearly choke on your own saliva. You think it catches her off guard too, because she looks away from you for a moment and itches her head before deciding fuck it, and goes back to staring. You bite your lip. Well there was that one time, you were on your back — Louis on top, you had a hand pressed between the two of you, rubbing your clit in quick sloppy circles as he got busy. Your eyes were closed. Did you cum? Kind of? Your eyes were closed. You were somewhere else. Somewhere softer and warmer, and it didn’t smell like beer and sweat. You shake your head, no. It was the closest time though, but Louis got all hostile about you touching yourself during sex. Said it was insulting, that you undermined him. You shook off the memory.

“No?” She whispers, eyebrows raised to the high heavens as if she just couldn’t fathom having sex and not making her partner cum — because that’s exactly what she was doing. She felt that hot tingling anger again in her chest, but it was dulled out by the weed — leaving her with just a light irritation at the back of her throat. “Thats fucked up.”

“Is it? I mean… orgasms take time. Doesn’t just happen in five minutes… that can get exhausting.” You defend, and you’re not sure why. You both know there’s no excuse.

“Nah.” She sniffs, not quite bothered to begin on how wrong you are. She switches the subject slightly instead. “So let me guess, missionary everytime?”

Your eyes widen, pressing your fingers over your lips to stop the childish giggle from bursting out. Ellie’s eyes widen too, realising how, well — down bad she was acting. She felt like a teenage boy on Snapchat playing truth or dare asking an uninterested girl if she’d ever send nudes before.

“Uh— fuck, you don’t have to answer that. Just making conversatio—”

“Most of the time. I think…” You decide to share something to make her feel less invasive, not wanting the conversation to end. You actually enjoyed getting to talk someone about this. “I think I’d feel good on top, maybe. But, hmm. How do I put this?” You thought. You looked at her for a moment and she gazed back, waiting on you to continue. Her breath caught in her throat when you crawled up toward her. “Lay back, please?” It was a request, not a command — and Ellie thought she might be dreaming when you straddled her with a frustrated expression.

You settled, and she was hyper aware of the feeling of your pillowy ass dropped down onto her thighs over her warm crotch.

“Okay, say I’m here. In this position.” You explain as well as you can, and when you give a few demonstrative bounces on her phantom cock her hands instinctively land on your hips to steady you. Fuck. Fucking shit. You don’t even seem to notice, or care. “This,” You point at your position. “Is me being in charge and… I don’t want that. It— it doesn’t get me off. I don’t wanna feel like I’m dominating them.” You whisper the last part like you’re telling her a secret at a girly sleepover, and she catches herself grinning before she scrambles, running over what you just said in her brain.

“Wait. Nah, that’s…” She adjusts herself slightly sheepish because she can feel herself blushing. Be cool, Ellie. Be dominant. “Thats bull. It doesn’t matter what position you’re in, it’s about how you make them feel.” She shrugs, and when you continue to stare at her, pink, glossy wide eyes— she carries on, you requiring more explanation. “If you’re on top working overtime, he should be telling you what a good job you’re doin’. How pretty you look doin’ it.” Her voices rasps in the way it does when she gets horny and she hopes she’s not giving herself away. Your mind goes a little blank, succumbing to the daydream of receiving that kind of praise. It makes your skin feel clammy. Louis isn’t below you in your daydream. Your freckled friend breaks your trail of thoughts. “And,” She’s smug now, and raises her knees behind you, planting her feet down on the bed and thrusting upwards a few times making you bounce a little, gripping her tighter. “Doesn’t matter if you were on top. I could still be the one fucking you. Just like this.”

You pause, only because you’re frozen in fear that she can feel the sudden floodgates open between your legs— praying to every God imaginable that you don’t leave some kind of pathetic wet patch on her. She thinks you’ve frozen at what she’s said.

“Uh— I mean Louis. Louis could still be the one— yeah.” She shrugs off, squeezing your hips with her warm fingers and you’re suddenly aware of your compromising position again, shaken from a dream. You slide off her quickly, bringing your knees to your chest and your back to the cool wall beside her bed. You were not a cheater. It doesn’t matter that the two of you didn’t kiss, or fuck, or whatever — what would have happened if Louis had walked in and seen you in your very gay dealers lap, pretending to have sex? You were not a cheater.

Ellie’s mouth was agape, like she wanted to say sorry but just couldn’t find it in her to feel sorry enough to say it. Her eyes were worried however, worried she’d made you uncomfortable or pushed it too far.

“I should… I shouldn’t stay. It’s getting late and—” You started looking for your bag with your laptop in it, where did you put it again?

“I’m sorry I— I didn’t mean to be weird. That was… I made you feel—” Her tone was apologetic now.

“No, no. It’s not that. I’m just hungry and I get weird when I’m… when I haven’t eaten. You’re fine. I mean, you were fine. Nothing weird just… friends hanging out, right?”

It hurt her, but Ellie nodded anyway. You were going back to him. It always ended this way.

“‘Kay. You got everything? You gonna be okay getting back? You’re still high.” Ellie stood, awkwardly dawdling behind you as you scooped up your purse. “I can walk you back—” She started patting her pockets for her key card.

“It’s okay, really. It’s still light outside and it’s a short walk. I think I need just… fresh air and quiet.” You avoid her eyes, but turn to face her as you back towards her door.

“Okay.” She was disappointed. “I hope you feel better now, ‘n stuff.” Your hand pushed the cold metal handle down and the hallway of her building was just as muggy, but it felt like a relief when some of the smoke from her dorm was released.

“I do.” You could look now, standing in the hallway as she didn’t move past her doorway. The distance made it safe enough to look at her pretty eyes without feeling you were going to do something bad. “Thank you Ellie. I owe you one.” Your brows knit together sincerely. Sure, I have a favour I need — break up with your boyfriend.

“Sure.” Ellie left it there, shook her head like it was nothing. “Text me and just… let me know that you got in okay. Yeah?” She continued to speak to you as you backed up down the hallway, awkwardly fumbling with your bag. It was wrong to let a girl walk back home high and alone. She thought about you walking around drunk and alone at that frat party. She was Louis this time.

“Will do. See you, Ellie.” Her name sounded like music when you said it. She had a new favourite song.

Your dorm was cooler, refreshing to be in when you got back. Your first mission was to look in the mirror and you sighed almost angrily seeing how flustered and a little dishevelled you look. You wanted to take the clothes off that touched her, still stinking of weed. You wanted food in your belly to flush her out. Flopping onto your back on your bed you pull your phone out, ignoring the texts and calls from your boyfriend — all to send a message to your dealer.

‘got back safe, thanks again😊’ You regret the emoji, but the Read: 5:13PM was immediate so there was no time to regret it for long. Three bubbles and then ‘Good’. You stare at the text, and then stare past the phone. You didn’t want to answer Louis right now. He could wait until tomorrow.

part two

#ellie williams x reader #dealer!ellie #ellie williams au #ellie williams fic #ellie tlou2 fic

3K notes · View notes

here2bbtstrash · 2 years

Text

compromise (explicit)

genre: twilight AU, straight-up cracky-ass porn, do not look @ me

pairing: vampire!taehyung x human!reader x werewolf!jungkook

summary: you're torn between the two loves of your life - but maybe you don't have to choose.

word count: 10k 😬

contains: explicit sexual content~*~ no seriously like i wrote this with my dick it is EXCLUSIVELY twilight-flavored porn sdhfjdkgsdf - taehyung is a vampire, jungkook is a werewolf, reader is in love with both of them, they can't stand each other, yktfv !!!! this is actually an incredibly poorly negotiated threesome, so uh, don't do it like this kids!!!!! just enjoy the filth 🫡 which specifically contains: a m/m/f threesome ft. mid-sex jealousy lol, biting, nipple play, clit stim and fingering, clit biting 💀, cunnilingus, spitting, neck.... licking?, a lot of body temperature descriptions bc we're sticking to steph's hot/cold lore bc i think it's funny idk, blowjobs/throat fucking, spit-roasting, first times, unprotected sex, some mildly improbable sex positions because they both have superhuman strength lmfao, a smidge of dirty talk/praise kink, ass play, anal sex, good ol' DP, annnnnd the grand finale: neck-biting and blood-drinking 🤭 also tae and jk throw "slurs" like 'leech' and 'dog' at each other the whole time sdfsdfjkf 💜

A/N: SURPRISE! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I WILL NOT BE EXPLAINING MYSELF BUT UHHHH ENJOY SOME NONSENSE!!!!

thank you to @haliiimede for the incredible banner 🥺

read on AO3!

~*~

You’ve been on edge all evening, watching, waiting.

As the sun slips below the horizon and reddens the sky on its departure, you try not to read it as an omen of what’s to come. Night pours out black like it always does, dark blanketing the lush green outside your bedroom window, but your stomach refuses to untwist.

Not even the touch of Taehyung’s hand can settle your nerves, despite how familiar it is, cold as ice, hard as marble. He’d climbed in your window at dusk, the way he’s done every night for months now, but tonight the air between you is heavy. Tonight you can barely look at him.

“Jagiya,” his hundred-year-old voice drips, sweet like honey, rich like blood in the quiet of your room. “What’s wrong?”

You haven’t even opened your mouth to answer when his head snaps up, clearly alerted by some sound your weak human ears have yet to pick up on.

Right on time, then.

“Tae,” you murmur softly, bringing one hand up to cup his cheek. Your thumb strokes lovingly over the flawless perfection of his face as your human eyes meet his: rich ochre, deep enough to drown in. He’s well-fed; you made sure that would be the case when you planned this. You need every possible element on your side tonight.

He cuts you off with a growl before you can say more than his name. “Why is that dog here?”

The word spat through his clenched teeth sends a fresh wave of anxiety spiraling through your bloodstream. “Please don’t call him that, Tae.” Your voice is barely more than a whisper. “He’s my best friend. I wanted the three of us to talk.”

You realize you can hear it now, coming up the road: the distant but unmistakable rattle of Jungkook’s motorcycle. It draws closer and closer, until it’s underscored by the crunch of gravel as he pulls into the driveway. When Jungkook finally kills the engine, the silence in your bedroom feels loud.

Taehyung doesn’t speak, but you can tell he’s furious, every muscle in his body pulled tight. His hands curl into fists, flexing restlessly at his sides, and even the well-defined line of his jaw jumps like he’s holding back the urge to tear something apart.

You do the only thing you can think of to calm your boyfriend: you take his face in your hands and pull him in for a deep kiss.

As your lips touch, it finally sinks in: how scared you are about tonight– you’re shaking like a leaf in Taehyung’s arms, even though you know he’d never hurt you. At least not purposefully.

The heat of your mouth seems to distract Taehyung a little, but there’s still fury in his kiss, in the soft growls that he can’t quite suppress as his tongue rolls over yours.

Your bedroom door creaks on its hinges, and you pull away from Taehyung just in time to see a bright smile drop off Jungkook’s face as he stands in the threshold. Your heart plummets into your stomach. Three seconds in and you’ve already ruined everything. How very human of you.

Moving an inch back from Taehyung, you unwind your arms from around his neck and try to regard both of them at once. This conversation suddenly feels much harder to navigate than you’d anticipated.

“Hi, Jungkook,” you say softly. Your best friend is practically glowering in the doorway now.

“I thought you wanted to talk. I don’t need to see him turn you. Or suck your soul out, or whatever.”

You try to stay calm, because someone has to. “It was just a kiss, Jungkook. I meant it, I do want to talk.” Your gaze flits from Jungkook to Taehyung. “To both of you.” As your eyes find Jungkook’s again, you pat the bedspread on your other side. “Will you come sit down?”

Taehyung makes a noise so otherworldly that chills rip up your spine, enough to make you shiver. “He’s fine where he is.”

“Tae,” you turn back to him, your face twisted with emotion. “Please.”

Jungkook crosses into the room with an unhurried confidence despite the slight hesitation in his steps, as if he’s preparing for your boyfriend to lunge at any moment but sure he’d win the fight. To your surprise, he doesn’t follow the path you’d indicated to join you and Taehyung. Instead, he moves to stand in front of you at the foot of the bed, and then–

Your jaw drops as Jungkook, still slow, still confident, sinks to his knees in front of you and Taehyung.

“How’s this?”

“Swearing your loyalty, mutt?” Taehyung snaps.

Jungkook doesn’t even look at him. “Not to you.”

“Thank you, Jungkook,” you murmur softly. “And thank you for coming here. And I’m sorry I haven’t told either of you why.”

“You didn’t even tell me he was coming!” Taehyung interjects, indignant, and you sigh.

“You’re right. And I should have. But you can see why I was scared to, right? I didn’t think either of you would agree if you knew you’d be in the same room.”

They both shrug a little, like they can’t argue with that.

It all starts to well up in your chest before you can focus on remaining rational, the way you’d planned to. The emotions, the pain. Your very human weaknesses.

“I don’t think you two realize how hard this is for me. How hard it is that you feel the way you do about each other,” you begin. “Neither of you can know what it’s like to wake up and feel like you’re being torn in half. But that’s every day for me.”

Jungkook tries to say your name, but falls quiet again when you shake your head.

“It doesn’t feel fair. Any of this. It’s not fair that you’re both…” you pause, searching for the word. “…superhuman, something I may never understand. It’s not fair that I love you both, in such different but equally strong ways, so much sometimes that it feels like my heart might give out. And it’s not fair that you hate each other. That you can’t even be in the same room.”

Taehyung’s icy touch on your skin makes you shiver, and you realize he’s wiping away errant tears that have started to roll down your face.

“And it’s not fair,” you continue, “that you expect me to choose. That there’s supposed to be an answer here. I’ve nearly lost each of you trying to figure it out. So my choice is that I won’t choose. I don’t want either of you if I can’t have both of you.”

“What?!” Taehyung’s eyes flash when he pulls back, as quickly as if you’d just slapped him.

“Listen to me,” you command, your voice laced with determination now. “Taehyung. I love you. You are my soulmate. My person. I want to spend the rest of our lives with you.” You sniff a little, taking a big breath in, and your chest shakes as you let it out again. “But all of that is also true of Jungkook. And I’m tired of pretending it’s not.”

Taehyung blinks, dazed, like he can't believe what you’re saying. When you glance down at Jungkook, still knelt on the floor, a smile is ghosting over his mouth.

“That leech really didn’t understand our bond, huh?” Jungkook asks softly, as if only you can hear the question. “Didn’t understand that I was the one who was there for you, who picked up the pieces when he fucked off to Paris to—”

“Jungkook,” you cut him off, your tone a warning. “Stop. This goes both ways. I love you, but you also need to understand that my feelings for Taehyung are just as strong. That’s not changing even though we’ve hurt each other. We’ve all hurt each other.”

Jungkook falls silent again, and you turn your gaze back to Taehyung. Your heart aches at the unmistakable betrayal you see in his eyes.

“Taehyung,” you breathe. “Please. I can’t be without you. Without either of you. I’m just asking you to try. For me.”

“Well, I don’t need to mull it over.” Before you have a chance to react to his words, Jungkook surges up and kisses you hard on the mouth, and you make a soft noise of surprise against his lips.

You know you should pull away and tell him to stop, but Jungkook’s touch is warm enough to melt, and you lose your focus as your whole world is knocked entirely off-axis. Your head spins when his tongue traces over your bottom lip, and it’s suddenly hard to think about anything else.

Taehyung growls, low in his throat, like the distant rumble of thunder. It’s enough to drag you back, and you break the kiss with a gasp.

As if he can read the expression on your face, Jungkook wordlessly drops down onto the bed on the other side of you. You slide a hand over the firm muscles of his thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze before turning to face your boyfriend.

Taehyung’s gaze traces over the floorboards, and it’s clear a thousand thoughts are running through his mind, thoughts you wish you could hear for yourself.

“Please hear me, Tae,” you try again, your voice low. “I want you. All of you. Intimately. I know you want that too.” The subject makes his gaze snap up, and you reach for him, a desperate attempt to try and keep him with you.

When you grab Taehyung’s hand, his ice-cold skin is a shock compared to the heat of Jungkook’s body under your other palm. But it’s familiar, it’s comforting, the touch of this man, whom you love so intensely that it terrifies you.

“And I know you’ve been scared to try. Scared of yourself and what might happen,” you continue, and Taehyung nods slowly, his eyes searching yours. “But… maybe this is it. Doesn’t it make sense? If Jungkook is here, it might be easier for you to stay in control with me.”

“And I can protect her if you don’t,” Jungkook adds with a smirk.

“So please, Taehyung.”

He stares at you, and you stare back, waiting for his answer. It finally comes in his husky voice, spoken as reverently as a prayer.

“I would do anything for you.”

The admission is chased by his hand at the back of your neck, pulling you in for a fierce kiss. You’re so relieved that you feel yourself near the verge of tears again, despite the icy thrill that dots up your spine as his mouth moves against yours. Taehyung’s teeth just barely scrape over your bottom lip, and you can’t help whimpering into his mouth in response. Like he’s trying to keep up, you almost instantly feel the heat of Jungkook’s mouth against your skin, his lips and tongue trailing down your neck and along the stretch of your shoulder. You make another soft noise at the way his hands start to roam over your body, restless, searching.

“Take my clothes off,” you pull away from Taehyung’s mouth to command, your eyes flitting up to his. “Let me give myself to you.” You turn to Jungkook. “To both of you.”

In a flash, Jungkook has your shirt over your head, and then it’s his turn to find your lips again, and he’s somehow even more passionate than when he first kissed you tonight.

“So fucking perfect,” Jungkook growls between kisses, and the rasp in his voice makes your nipples tighten under the thin fabric of your bralette. “Wanted this for so long.”

While Jungkook licks into your mouth, Taehyung’s nimble fingers find their way to the button of your jeans, and you lean back on your hands to give him better access. His touch is delicate as he undoes your zipper and starts to shimmy the denim down your legs.

“You too,” you break away from Jungkook to murmur, and you reach down to finish pulling your pants off. “I want to see you both.”

As they each move back from you to stand and disrobe, there’s a tense moment where Taehyung and Jungkook regard each other, and then Jungkook lunges and you scream.

You squeeze your eyes shut at a terrifying sound of something being ripped apart. Panic rises in your chest and makes it impossible to breathe— you don’t know why this was a good idea, you don’t know what you expected, of course this could never work, how stupid could you be— and then you hear Taehyung huff a dark laugh, seemingly unharmed, and your eyes snap open.

And he is. He’s fine. His shirt, however, has been reduced to tatters on your bedroom floor. Jungkook’s smirk is that of a cat who’s just swallowed a canary.

“Very mature of you, mongrel. I take it I’m meant to repay the favor?” Taehyung scoffs, and you keep your eyes open to watch him easily tear Jungkook’s shirt from his body, as if it were made of tissue paper. Your head spins.

Attempting to remember how to breathe is made all the more difficult when you watch them both strip down to their boxers. Your heart flutters in your chest as you realize in this moment how truly beautiful they both are.

Jungkook’s body in particular takes you aback– despite still having the enviably small waist you’ve always teased him for, the rest of him has certainly filled out over the years. He’s broad-shouldered and thick, with firm definition in his arms and abdominals that ripple as he reaches down to shimmy out of his pants.

It’s hard to believe this is the same kid you spent your childhood summers with, sharing secrets and making up stories, the one you used to call ‘Boba Ball’ or ‘Triangle Kimbap’ during the years he refused to cut his hair.

In stark contrast, Taehyung’s body feels like coming home. He’s striking as he always is, all long, lean muscles, a hand-carved statue come to life. Though it’s well into the dead of night now, you swear you can still see the glimmer shifting under his skin, like he’s stepping into full sunlight as he moves toward you. He’s just as brilliant, just as blinding, even in the dim light of your bedroom. Perfection incarnate.

You know it for a fact, can feel it thrumming behind your ribs, as true as the steady beat of your human heart. You love them both, unconditionally and irrevocably.

“Jagiya,” Taehyung breathes as he stands over you where you sit at the edge of the bed. “You’re glowing.” His hand cups your cheek, and you turn your head to press a kiss to the freezing center of his palm.

“I’m so happy, Tae,” you whisper, and he’s smiling softly when you glance back up.

“That’s all I want.”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, and then Jungkook steps in beside him, and it’s like every piece in your heart slots perfectly into place.

“Are you ready?” Jungkook asks. Their superhuman reflexes move so quickly, you feel like you’ve only just begun to nod when two sets of hands are already on you, dragging you up to the head of the bed like you’re light as a feather.

Together, they push you down into the mattress, and then two mouths start to trace over every inch of your skin they can find. They alternate fluidly, everywhere at once: the brush of full lips, the sharp-sweet bite of teeth, the wet wash of a tongue. Your eyes roll back at the overwhelming sensations, and though you can initially tell them apart by the sharp contrast in their skin temperature, it all eventually melds together in your mind until you’re not sure where Taehyung ends and Jungkook begins.

The four hands on your body make quick work of stripping you out of your bralette and panties, and you’re whimpering and writhing and drenched with arousal when a warm tongue circles your nipple while a cold hand starts to creep up towards your center.

Jungkook sucks firmly on the stiff bud in his mouth, and you keen. “Fuck, Koo, oh god.”

Not to be outdone, you feel Taehyung’s teeth very lightly graze over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and your hips shudder as you groan again.

There’s a wet pop as Jungkook releases your breast from his mouth with a soft laugh. “She squirms.”

“She does.” Taehyung’s breath ghosts over your entrance as he answers. He presses a glossy kiss to the crease of your thigh, then slips two smooth, delicate fingers into the wet heat of your pussy, and you outright moan.

“She’s vocal,” Jungkook remarks.

Taehyung crooks his fingers to make you cry out again, and he falls into a steady stroking motion. “She is.”

“You’ve done this before?”

Your breath coming in shallow pants now, you manage to lift yourself up onto your forearms and interject. “We’ve never– not all the way.”

Taehyung smirks at Jungkook as his digits squelch inside of you. “We’ve done enough.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop to your face, and you meet his gaze. He cups one of your breasts in his hand, massaging it in his palm before taking the peak of your nipple between his fingers. You whine as he gently rolls the bud in a circle. “What have you done?” he asks, his voice softer this time.

“What do you think, jagi?” Taehyung answers confidently before you can respond, your pussy still gripping tight around his fingers. “Want to show wolfboy here how well you suck my cock?”

Heat flushes your face at the thought, and Jungkook practically snarls down the bed at Taehyung. “Or maybe you can show me how you eat her out, and then I’ll show you how it’s really done.”

Taehyung’s expression falters just the slightest amount, but it’s enough for Jungkook’s keen senses to notice. “Wait– you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

You shake your head, struggling to keep up, your mind fighting not to give into the euphoria of their hands continuing to work your body. “We haven’t. Tae’s not–”

“What, not a man?” Jungkook snaps, paired with a tug of your nipple. “I could’ve told you that.”

The sigh that escapes your mouth is edged with a moan as Taehyung’s thumb brushes lightly over your clit. “He’s not ready, Jungkook.”

“I’m sorry, he doesn’t want to eat you out because he’s too scared he’ll fucking eat you?”

Taehyung scoffs between your legs, but Jungkook is already shifting to his knees, clearly having heard enough. “That’s it. Turn the fuck over.”

You appreciate the consideration when Jungkook guides you to sit up and get on hands and knees across the width of the bed, nudging you forward so that he can kneel down behind you on the mattress. The positioning is ideal for Taehyung to meet you on the other side.

There’s a cold flash in Taehyung’s eyes as he circles the bed, not unlike a predator stalking prey. Watching him sends more arousal flooding through you, enough that the crux of your thighs is painted with slick when Jungkook encourages them apart from behind.

You can see Taehyung’s length straining against the confines of his underwear as he stands in front of you, and he laughs softly when you reach up to pull him out, too greedy to wait. He’s beautiful, long and hard and weighing heavy in your palm. Your eyes roll up to meet Taehyung’s, deep amber and brimming with lust as you press gentle kisses to the rim of his cockhead.

The wet smack of your mouth is chased with a fluttering whimper when Jungkook slides two fingers through your dripping folds to roughly part your pussy lips. You can feel yourself dripping, can hear the dark hum Jungkook emits in response.

“You look delicious,” he rasps. “Can’t believe this parasite would rather have your blood.”

In hopes it will distract him from Jungkook’s insult, you choose that moment to swallow Taehyung down, and your plan seems to work. Taehyung’s fingers snake through your hair and his head tips back as you stretch your lips over his shaft. You find yourself whining softly around him at the feeling alone, the smooth press of his cock against your tongue.

You hollow your cheeks around Taehyung and slowly begin to suck along his length, eliciting a deep hiss from him, your hand pumping in time at the base where your mouth can’t reach.

It takes a conscious effort to hold in a moan when you feel the first touch of Jungkook’s tongue, dragged thick up your slit like a hot knife through butter. You arch your spine, your body begging for more, and his hands grip the soft flesh of your ass as he spreads you open and indulges.

Jungkook eats you like a man starved, shoving his tongue into your pussy with enough force to slide Taehyung’s cock further into your mouth. Taehyung’s tip teases into the back of your throat, and he groans when you swallow to urge him over the edge.

“Fuck, jagiya,” he pants as you continue to bob up and down, relentless, spurred on by every sloppy pass of Jungkook’s tongue. “If only that mutt could see how good you look with my cock in your mouth.”

Pleased at Taehyung’s praise and choosing to ignore his dig at Jungkook, you lean forward to take even more of him, until the whole of his glass-hard cock is crammed down your throat. You can feel drool welling up on your tongue, can feel your muscles trying not to choke around him, made all the more difficult by the way Jungkook is steadily fucking his tongue into you now.

The shudder of your throat matches the tremble in Taehyung’s hips, and you can tell he’s fighting the urge to push you past the limits of what a human can take.

There’s a part of you that wishes he would.

You gag softly as you pull off of him, giving both of you a moment to collect yourselves. One of Taehyung’s large hands pets over your hair, encouraging, and you drop your forehead down to rest in the crook of your elbow. Without the distraction of sucking Taehyung’s cock, the pleasure of Jungkook’s hot mouth on your pussy is overwhelming, and you can’t help moaning into the mattress.

“God, just like that, Koo.”

Managing to pull yourself back up for more, you coax a soft groan from Taehyung as you start to kitten lick up his shaft. Jungkook pulls away from your center just as you take Taehyung into your mouth again.

“You taste so fucking good. Bloodsucker doesn’t know what he’s missing. But he can enjoy my sloppy seconds.”

The sudden wet sound of Jungkook spitting is so loud that even Taehyung flinches, and your cunt clenches at the slick-splatter feeling. Wasting no time, Jungkook dives back in, eagerly shoving the mix of saliva and arousal into your entrance with his tongue, and it’s all you can do to focus on the cock in your mouth.

Taking Taehyung faster this time, you build up to a steady rhythm, your hands fisting the bed sheets beneath you as you swallow him down. You make an audible gulping sound with each pass, his length dipping over and over into the tight squeeze of your throat. Taehyung can’t hold back, grunting a steady stream of curses as you suck him off just the way he likes.

When Jungkook outright growls between your legs, you feel it more than hear it, and the vibrations that roll through you are enough to make your toes curl. You pull most of the way off, sliding your lips down Taehyung’s shaft to suckle at the head of his cock as you whimper gently around him.

With his fingertips gripping your ass bruising-hard, Jungkook’s lips slide up your folds until he finds the underside of your clit. Your thighs quiver violently when his tongue darts out for one rough flick over the sensitive bud. There’s no stifling the way you moan when Jungkook repeats the action, again and again, falling into a steady lapping rhythm that makes your whole body shake.

His mouth is so wet and so warm that you completely lose your ability to multitask. Your jaw goes slack around Taehyung’s length, drool spilling onto the sheets beneath you until Taehyung finally withdraws. You don’t have enough space in your brain to try and stroke his ego to keep things fair— you’re entirely lost in the heat of Jungkook’s tongue over your clit. Your hips shove back toward Jungkook’s face to grind against his mouth, your own tongue lolling out as you pant and moan.

An ice cold hand tangling in your hair is enough to get your eyes to refocus, and you glance up at Taehyung just in time for his grip to tighten. The sting of it sparkles like diamonds against your scalp as he forces your head back and watches you fuck yourself on Jungkook’s tongue.

“Feels good, jagiya?” Taehyung purrs, speaking up to be heard over the gasps and slurps of Jungkook as his mouth works your pussy, drinking up every drop.

You can’t think or speak, can’t do anything except nod dumbly and try to keep your eyes from rolling up into your skull. Taehyung cranes your head back another inch and you whimper at the pressure. “Gonna come on puppy’s tongue?”

“Uh-huh,” you manage to choke out, and you outright keen when two of Taehyung’s slender fingers reach down to find one of your nipples and twist. The shock of pleasure-pain rips through your whole body, and fuck, it’s enough. Taehyung drops his grip on your hair just as your orgasm hits, and your head bounces against the mattress as you collapse into shuddering moans, your body trembling all over.

Your thighs threaten to give out, but Jungkook’s hands find purchase under your hips to keep you up. You let him hold your weight entirely like it’s nothing at all, his face and tongue still buried in you as your pussy gushes and flutters around him.

Everything eventually softens into the warm glow of comedown, your moans dissolving to gentle whimpers, and then Jungkook slowly lowers you to the mattress. His hands slip down to keep your thighs pulled apart, and he leans in for a few more licks to your cunt, your whole body shivering with oversensitivity at each pass until he finally relents.

“First orgasm’s mine,” Jungkook remarks, like it’s casual.

You glance up to see Taehyung baring his teeth, and you roll onto your side despite how heavy your limbs still feel. “I’ll make her come harder. Let me taste you next, jagi.”

“Tae, wait,” you murmur, pushing yourself up onto your hands. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Jungkook’s smug response comes first. “How about you do it while I fuck her?”

“What?!”

If your heart wasn’t still racing from the orgasm, it would be now at the way Taehyung’s eyes are fixed on Jungkook, like he wants to tear him limb from limb. But Jungkook just keeps talking, as if it doesn’t scare him in the slightest.

“She’s got two holes, right? If I take her in the ass, her pussy’s yours. It’s like she said— if you can’t stand me, maybe it’ll tone down the desire to, you know. Have a snack.”

There’s a visible tremor in Taehyung’s jaw as he attempts to keep himself under control. When he speaks, his voice is strained with the effort of holding back. “You’re not putting anything… anywhere until after I do. I don’t care which fucking hole it is.”

At this, you finally interject. “Taehyung’s right, Jungkook.”

The staring contest ends as they both look down at you, and your eyes jump back and forth between them as you shift onto your knees on the mattress. “We’ve wanted this and talked about it for so long. It’s only fair that he be my… first.”

Jungkook, to your surprise, seems unbothered. “That’s fine. So long as I’m your second.”

“Lay the fuck down, jagi,” Taehyung growls.

You follow the command and Taehyung settles between your thighs with a determined cold-steel gaze, his knees sinking soft divots into the mattress. He fists at his throbbing-hard cock as you spread yourself for him, and when he lines himself up with your entrance, you hook your legs over his hips.

In the dim light, there’s an ice-shimmer sheen on his cock, still glossed with your drool. The tip nudges at your center, and you’re drenched for him, you can feel it, slick from Jungkook’s mouth and wet with your own arousal that drips down to coat his waiting length.

A shiver runs through you at the touch of Taehyung’s hand over yours, and he turns your palm up so he can interlace your fingers together.

“Jagiya,” Taehyung murmurs. “I love you.”

His free hand slips down to anchor over your hip, and then you feel him, the glass-cold weight of his cock starting to press into you, long and impossibly hard.

“Oh god, Taehyung,” you gasp, your head kicking back against the bed. “I love you, too. So much.”

You have to shut your eyes to focus on the feeling, on adjusting to the stretch of him, your brow furrowing as you try to breathe through it.

The warm brush of a callused hand over your cheek instantly softens your expression, and your eyes flutter open again to take in Jungkook above you. His warm familiarity makes you smile, as does the sweet expression on his face as he hovers over you.

“Hi,” Jungkook says simply, and you tip your chin up enough for him to understand what you want. He leans forward and his mouth captures yours in an upside-down kiss, one that you can’t help but gasp into when Taehyung fully bottoms out inside you.

Jungkook pulls back as your breath flutters into his mouth. “Is it okay? He’s not hurting you?”

You shake your head, eyes dropping closed as Jungkook trails kisses along the line of your jaw and down your neck. “God, you took him so well.” His voice smolders against your skin.

As if attempting to regain your focus, you feel Taehyung’s hand slip between your legs. His thumb begins to trace gentle circles over your clit, and your walls clench around him in response. “Oh fuck, Tae.”

“Can I move, jagi?” he grunts, and you nod, punctuated with a soft whimper.

“Please, Tae. I need to feel you.”

You barely get the words out before Jungkook’s mouth finds yours again, and your tongue licks hungrily against his as Taehyung slowly starts to move. His cock is so thick, heavy and smooth like marble as he glides over your ridges, and you moan eagerly against Jungkook, gripping the back of his neck like a lifeline as Taehyung’s hips fall into a steady rhythm.

“Oh my god,” you have to break away from Jungkook to gasp. “Oh my god, Tae.”

“Bet that tight little pussy feels so good,” Jungkook murmurs, lips brushing over your ear. When he pulls back, you open your eyes to take him in.

“Jungkook,” you nearly whine his name, overwhelmed at the way Taehyung has started to jostle you on his cock. “Wanna make you feel good too.”

The pads of his fingertips trace delicately over your cheek, and then his thumb slips down to pull at your bottom lip.

“Do you wanna take my cock in this pretty mouth?” The hand tracing over your lip slips lower, until his warm palm is closed over the column of your neck. You can feel the heat of him in every beat of your pulse, the hummingbird thrum of your very human heart. “And let me fuck your throat?”

An overwhelming desire to be filled from both ends makes your breath stutter in your chest, and you grip his forearm with both of your hands, nails digging into his warm skin. “Y-yes, Jungkook,” you answer, working hard to get the words out with how heavy Taehyung is stroking into you. “I need it.”

Jungkook dips forward to brush his lips over yours again, just the lightest touch. “I love you,” he murmurs softly against your mouth.

“I love you,” you repeat, your voice a near whisper.

Another kiss, and he’s smiling when he pulls back. “Be a good girl and open up for me.”

As Jungkook steps away to tug down and step out of his boxers, you feel Taehyung slow his thrusts, and then you gasp a little at how deep his cock sinks into you when he shifts forward to push you both up the bed.

“You feel so good, jagi,” Taehyung groans, and you can’t help but whimper when he moves you easily, grabbing your legs and slinging them roughly over his shoulders.

A yelp escapes your lips when Taehyung hooks his arms over your thighs and pulls them flush to his chest, causing your ass to lift off the mattress entirely. With the way he has you bent, the majority of your weight should be resting in your arms and upper back pressed flat to the bed, possibly painfully. But Taehyung holds you up so effortlessly that you feel like you weigh nothing at all.

The angle also shoves you just far enough back that your head tips over the edge of the bed, and you’re grateful for this small concession from Taehyung, to let Jungkook have his way peacefully, because he knows it’s what you want, too.

As Jungkook steps in to hover over you, Taehyung starts to bounce you on his cock again, and he fills you up so perfectly like this that you can only moan, your head tilting all the way back.

Jungkook’s hands pet down the length of your neck until he finds your breasts, angled up toward him and jiggling with every fierce thrust as Taehyung picks up the pace. You whimper when Jungkook’s palms close around your tits, and you feel the head of his dick toy at your bottom lip, gliding wet with precum that has already started to leak from his slit.

Letting your eyes flutter closed, you give yourself over to the pleasure welling up inside of you and stick your tongue out to guide Jungkook in. His groan is nearly a growl as his cock presses into your mouth to weigh your tongue down heavy, then slips even further back until he’s teasing at the clench of your throat.

The stretch of being used by both of them lights you up all the way through, like a live wire.

For a moment, you find yourself wishing that you weren’t human, that they didn’t have to worry about being gentle to keep you from getting hurt, that Jungkook and Taehyung could truly do whatever they wanted to you.

The thought is exciting and terrifying, and your heart skips a beat in your chest.

Jungkook holds himself still once he’s pushed all the way in, and your throat bulges up at the width of him. You have to remind yourself that at least for now, you are human, and you need to keep breathing.

Taehyung is thrusting balls-deep into your pussy now, and though Jungkook hasn’t started his own strokes yet, the way Taehyung shoves into you is enough to gently rock Jungkook’s length back and forth in the heat-clutch of your throat.

You hear Jungkook moan above you. “Oh fuck yeah, just like that.”

His hips just barely start to move in time, out to match each of Taehyung’s thrusts in, back into your throat every time Taehyung’s cock drags out of your cunt. All you can do is lay there and take it from both of them, a fragile fucktoy, drool slipping down your chin while Jungkook’s hands knead at your breasts and Taehyung’s thumb rolls over your clit.

“Look so good like this,” Taehyung grunts as he presses his lips to your calf hooked over his shoulder. “Wanna make you come on my cock, jagi.”

The plea makes you moan enough to gag around Jungkook, and he relents to let you catch your breath, strings of spit spider-webbing out of your mouth as you pant and laugh a little.

“Fuck me harder, Taehyung,” you breathe. “I can take it.”

It feels like you might bruise from the intensity at which Taehyung begins to stroke into you at your command, but it’s so good, you can’t imagine ever caring about the marks he’ll leave behind. The slap of skin on skin is loud, the way you moan louder still. The pleasure of it rushes up in your bloodstream and hits hard enough to make you dizzy, and the relentless rub of Taehyung’s thumb over your clit pushes you to the edge overwhelmingly quickly.

“Jungkook,” you gasp, your head tipping back towards him. “Please. Want you in my mouth when I come.”

“God,” Jungkook groans, nearly laughing as he slips his thick cock between your lips again. “You are so fucking hot.”

You take Jungkook back into your mouth, and you can already feel your walls starting to flutter around Taehyung as his cock plunges into you over and over. Jungkook’s heavy breathing and Taehyung’s strangled moans mix together in a discordant harmony, underscored by the wet sounds of your throat and your pussy as they fuck you from both ends. Your orgasm mounts, coiling tight in your core, undeniable now.

“That’s it, jagiya,” Taehyung groans. “Come for us.”

You nearly sob around Jungkook’s shaft as you reach your peak, your hips shoving up wildly in Taehyung’s grasp, your entire body overwhelmed by pleasure. Wave after wave of it washes through you, and your pussy pulses for what feels like an eternity, soaking Taehyung’s length in your juices.

Jungkook pulls out again to let you breathe, and you collapse back against the bed. The rush of air into your lungs is so sharp that it stings a little. Your heartbeat slams in your chest as Taehyung withdraws too, and then he leans down to cover your body with his.

His perfect lips find yours and he kisses you deeply, and it takes all the effort you have left to move your mouth against his.

“You’re beautiful, jagiya,” Taehyung murmurs against your skin. “You feel like heaven.”

“I love you, Taehyung,” you manage to whisper back.

“Aw,” Jungkook’s voice drips thick with sarcasm, and you’re ashamed to realize that you’d momentarily forgotten his presence. “What a lovely couple. Guess that orgasm makes the score one-to-one, huh Tae-Tae?”

You shiver a little at the loss of Taehyung’s body over yours as he gets to his feet, inhumanly fast, to move towards Jungkook.

“You know, I have no idea what she sees in you,” Taehyung scoffs.

Jungkook barks a laugh. “That’s fine. ‘Cause pretty soon you’ll be seeing me in her.”

Your heart is in your throat as you watch the two of them circle each other, their eyes burning with hatred. A low warning sound reverberates from between Taehyung’s teeth, but Jungkook just keeps going. “What do you think, bloodsucker? Ready to try eating pussy now that you’re not a virgin anymore?”

“I’d much prefer dog for my next meal, if I’m honest,” Taehyung spits.

“I’d love to see you try.”

“Please.” Your voice comes out shattered, and you kneel up on the bed, grabbing both of them by the bicep in a feeble human attempt to pull them apart. You know you don’t have the real strength to move either of them, but they clearly choose to relent, each taking a few reluctant steps back.

“I want both of you,” you exclaim, close to tears. “Please, please don’t fight.”

There’s a tense moment of silence, and you break it the only way you can think to. “Jungkook,” you shift to better face him. “You really meant what you said? About taking me… in the ass?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he fumbles for his words. “I-I mean, we don’t have to. I was just saying shit to make him mad, really.”

“But do you want to?” you press him.

Jungkook blinks. “I want to do anything with you,” he says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and your heart melts open.

“I want it, too.”

“I– really?”

You nod, unashamed. “I’ve tried it before, by myself. And I want that with you.”

“How many fingers?” Jungkook’s eyes go dark with lust when he asks the question.

“Two,” you breathe.

His mouth pulls into a dirty smile. “Might have to work you up to three if you want to take me.”

“Taehyung?” You turn towards him when you ask for his consent to continue, and he answers by leaning in for a kiss that steals all the air from your lungs.

Your kisses deepen and intensify until they’re a clash of tongues and teeth as Taehyung joins you to kneel on the bed. Jungkook disappears off to dig through your bathroom cabinets, and there’s a smug look on his face when he returns with a bottle of lube in hand.

Hands still clutching at Taehyung’s neck, you break the kiss momentarily to look over your shoulder as Jungkook settles behind you, and you spread your knees wide for him. The snap of the bottle cap is loud in the quiet of your bedroom, and it’s chased by the thick squelch of Jungkook depositing lube onto his waiting fingers.

“This shit’s cold,” he complains, and you laugh softly against Taehyung’s mouth.

“Everything feels cold to you.”

You reach back with one hand to better spread yourself for him, and then you whimper as you feel Jungkook’s warm, wet fingers start to trace over the rim of your hole.

It feels like you can barely catch your breath before Taehyung’s mouth is on yours again, kissing you hungrily. His teeth roll over your bottom lip, and you moan into his mouth as Jungkook simultaneously pushes a finger into your ass.

Hot pleasure overwhelms you as Jungkook slips all the way in, and Taehyung’s marble lips release yours to trail an icy path over your jaw.

“Fuck, Koo,” you groan as you adjust to the stretch of him, already so much better than your own touch. “I need another.”

“God,” Jungkook exhales in disbelief. “I’ll try. You’re so fuckin’ tight back here.” Attempting to work you open, he starts to rock his finger slowly in and out of you, and you whine again.

The glass-cold touch of Taehyung’s hand brushing over your hip makes you jump a little, and then he traces further down to roll his fingers over your clit, and your spine arches. The soft circles he begins to trace melt you open, and you can feel every muscle in your body slacken, including the tight ring swallowing up Jungkook’s finger.

It’s just enough that he’s able to squeeze a second in.

“Look at that,” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “The leech is helping.”

You wrap a hand firmly around Taehyung’s cock, jutting up proudly between his legs, if only for a tether to ground you, to keep you from slipping out of your body entirely. Taehyung’s groan shudders over your skin as you slowly start to pump his diamond-hard length.

Jungkook doesn’t let up, scissoring his digits inside of you, and you press your hips back to beg for more until he’s shoved in to the hilt.

Taehyung’s deep voice purrs in your ear. “You smell incredible, jagiya.” There’s a sheen to his ochre eyes when you glance up at him. You’re not scared, not really, but your pulse quickens in your throat nevertheless. You know he can hear it, too.

“Tae,” you breathe, unable to get more words out, not with the way Jungkook’s fingers are relentlessly fucking your ass open.

Taehyung ducks his head and you gasp at the cold shock of his tongue when he full-on licks up the side of your neck. He keeps going, tonguing you in thick, slow drags, starting to groan softly in the back of his throat with each one. You let your head tip back to allow him access to more of your skin as you continue to work his cock in your hand.

You know you’re dancing with the devil, especially when you feel the lightest scrape of his teeth over your neck, but it feels too good to stop.

There’s a slow burn stretch at your rim as Jungkook just barely manages to fit a third finger past it. You will your body to relax so you can take him all the way inside, and you can’t help but moan at the overwhelming fullness. “Oh my fucking god, Koo.”

“Look so pretty on my fingers like this,” Jungkook grunts, pairing his words with a harsh slap to your asscheek that makes you yelp. “Can’t wait to see what you look like on my cock.”

Like a reflex, Taehyung growls against your neck, and you tremble at the feeling, at the sound of his teeth grinding together so close to your throbbing pulse.

“Taehyung,” you choke out as you release your grip on his cock and Jungkook’s fingers withdraw from your ass. You take Taehyung’s face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Do you want to taste me?” His eyes flash dark with lust as he nods.

Jungkook is already shifting to sit at the edge of the bed, and he reaches for the lube again to pour more out, hissing softly as he fists the sticky gloss over his thick shaft. His legs part to give you room, and you back your ass up towards him. You can’t help but squeak a little when his hands close over your hips and he picks you up, your feet hovering an inch above the floor.

“Spread your legs,” Jungkook instructs, and you do. “Pull your knees up and rest your feet on my thighs.” You nervously find your footing over his firm muscles, but you’re a little scared to bear your full weight down.

Jungkook laughs when he realizes why you’re hesitating. “You can’t hurt me, it’s okay.”

At his encouragement, you press your feet more firmly into Jungkook’s thighs, your own legs shaking slightly with tense anticipation. He keeps his hands gripped tight to your hips, heat radiating out from where his palms press against your skin, and his voice is thick with lust when he speaks again.

“That’s it, baby. Line it up for me.”

You reach behind you to wrap your hand around his cock, and you can feel it pulsing hotly as you arch back to let his tip kiss against your rim.

“Go slow,” you breathe, and Jungkook leans in to press a kiss to your shoulder.

“‘Course I will. Don’t wanna hurt you.”

Inch by inch, he gently starts to sink you down to sheath him, pausing periodically to give you time to adjust. Your mouth drops open at the overwhelming feeling of Jungkook’s thickness stretching you open. It’s so intense that you want to squirm, to run away, the soles of your feet flexing restlessly against his thighs.

Your eyes flutter open again to find Taehyung knelt down, watching the two of you intently with a soft furrow in his brow.

“Tae,” you murmur. “Need your mouth.”

That’s all you have to say, and then he’s crawling towards you, settling on his knees between Jungkook’s spread legs. You shiver at the touch of Taehyung’s fingers as he pulls the lips of your pussy apart, and then he leans in to swipe his tongue through your folds just as Jungkook drops you an inch lower on his cock, and you whine loudly at the sweet rush of pleasure.

“Just like that,” you gasp to both of them, your head lolling back against Jungkook’s chest. “Oh, fuck.”

Taehyung’s tongue traces down to your entrance, slurping greedily at the wetness pooled there before dragging back up to your clit. The mirror-cold slide of his wet mouth over you is incredible, enough to make your toes curl when paired with the pressure of Jungkook’s hot cock pushing into your ass.

You feel the tight muscle of your rim spasm, and you sink another inch down, causing Jungkook to groan harshly in response. Just as you realize that you can feel his thighs flush against your asscheeks, his voice is in your ear.

“That’s it, baby. Took all of me in this tight little ass.”

“You feel so good, Koo,” you whimper, turning over your shoulder to find his mouth with yours. “So big,” you groan against his lips, and he smiles back.

As if to distract you, Taehyung’s teeth just barely brush over the hood of your clit, and you nearly bite Jungkook’s bottom lip off. You pull back to look down at Taehyung, and he smiles shyly between your thighs, feigning innocence.

“Watch it, bloodsucker,” Jungkook mutters, his voice strained. “Guess you need more practice.”

“No,” you manage to gasp, struggling to catch your breath between the two of them. “I liked it. Please, Tae.”

Taehyung leans in to repeat the motion, and the scrape of his teeth sends a hot spark of pain through you, enough to make your eyes squeeze shut and every muscle in your body pull taut. You can hear Jungkook groan behind you as your ass clenches around his cock like a vice.

“Shit,” Jungkook’s voice over your shoulder startles you slightly. Your lashes flutter open in time to see him reach his foot out and nudge at Taehyung’s thigh, not particularly gentle. “Keep fucking doing that.”

Taehyung obliges, alternating gentle passes of his tongue with increasingly rough drags of his teeth across your sensitive bud. The steady swings between pleasure and pain make your head spin, until Taehyung’s husky voice drags you back from the brink of all-encompassing pleasure.

“You’re dripping, jagiya.”

You whimper, unable to form words to respond, and then you can only moan as you feel one of Taehyung’s delicate fingers work itself into the heat of your pussy with a wet squelch.

“Pup’s so big and you’re so little,” Taehyung continues. “There’s no room left. Can barely get a finger in here.”

“I want to take you too, Tae,” you plead. “I want both of you.” It’s not just want at this point– you’re more sure than ever that you have to have this, both of them, together. “Please.”

Taehyung’s face darkens with concern. “We’ll break you.”

“Then break me,” you practically growl. “I need it.”

You’re expecting Taehyung to argue back, forever concerned for your safety, but to your surprise, he surges up to kiss you instead. A soft whimper spills from your mouth into his, and you tangle your fingers in his long dark hair and taste him until he pulls away.

As if to beckon him in, you wordlessly tilt your hips toward Taehyung as best you can with Jungkook’s thick cock still fully sheathed in your ass. Taehyung’s hands sink into the mattress on either side of Jungkook’s hips as he positions himself in front of you.

“Breathe, jagi,” Taehyung reminds you.

Your lungs burn as you inhale deep, and you try desperately to relax as you feel the tip of his glass-hard length teasing at your drenched entrance. Taehyung slowly starts to push in, and your hands search for purchase along the lean, flexing muscles in his arms, your nails attempting to scratch over skin that won’t give.

There’s a steady throb between your legs as Taehyung gently nestles himself all the way into your cunt, his cock pressed tight to Jungkook’s with only the thin barrier of your body between them. This feeling of fullness is beyond anything you’ve ever experienced, and the sensation of taking both of them at once is overwhelming. It’s spine-chilling cold and blood-boiling heat all in one, their cocks crammed so deep inside you that you swear you can feel them in your throat.

“Fuck,” Jungkook hisses, and he can’t quite hide the waver of pleasure that paints his voice. “Your dick’s fucking cold.”

“You’re actually just a fucking furnace,” Taehyung spits back, but it’s chased with a soft groan.

Your mind lags, dazed with pleasure, but it slowly occurs to you that the temperature combination must feel equally good for them. Even if their egos won’t let them admit it.

“Move.” No one is more shocked than you at the commanding tone of your voice when you speak. “Both of you. Stop talking and fuck me.”

Jungkook acts first, his hands tightening on your hips to lift you, and the tight clutch of your ass dragging up the length of his cock makes you both gasp. Taehyung watches closely as Jungkook falls into a steady rhythm, and then he starts to roll his hips to match it, thrusting into your pussy each time Jungkook pulls your ass back down over his cock.

None of you can keep your composure or bite back your moans now, the pressure of their cocks simultaneously fucking into you feels too good. You can hear Jungkook panting in your ear, can see a muscle flexing in Taehyung’s jaw as he groans with every upstroke, and you begin to shove your hips up in time with their motions, your feet pressing firmly against Jungkook’s thighs for leverage.

“That’s it, baby,” Jungkook grunts. “Fucking ride us.”

Taehyung shifts slightly, putting all his weight into one hand to lift the other off the mattress and toy with your clit. You keen as he rolls it between his thumb and index finger, and you feel the chill of his mouth close over the slope of your neck.

“Oh fuck, Tae,” you whine as he starts to suck hard against your skin, enough that you’re sure he’ll leave a mark. You can feel every muscle in your body tightening, a dam of arousal threatening to burst deep inside of you, and something primal awakens there.

In this moment, you know exactly what you need.

“Taehyung,” you groan softly, and you already know he wants it too. “Do it, Tae. Please. Bite me.”

“Do not fucking turn her,” Jungkook growls, slamming your ass down so hard on his thighs that you nearly choke on a gasp. Taehyung’s mouth sucks even harder, right over your pulse point.

“No, no,” you protest. “Just a little drink, Tae. Please. It felt so good last time, I know. We both want it.” You’re outright begging, insatiable– your eyes threaten tears with how badly you really do want this, need this.

Like it takes every ounce of strength he has, Taehyung manages to pull himself off your neck, his hips still pistoning into you. “Jagi, I–I’ll frenzy. I’ll hurt you.”

You shake your head. “Jungkook is here, you can stop yourself. I know you can. Please, Tae, if you love me.”

As if those words were all he needed to hear, you see Taehyung rear back, and then you scream as his teeth pierce the skin of your neck. “It’s good Taehyung, it’s good,” you choke out, trying to keep it together. Your breath comes ragged now, in harsh, broken sobs.

Taehyung is loud when he drinks from you, slurping and gasping and groaning unabashedly, and you shiver violently at the icy wash of his tongue circling over your wounds.

The world begins to blur at the edges, bleeding out, like time itself is slowing. You feel your climax winding tighter inside of you even as your body starts to go weak, held up like a ragdoll in Jungkook’s grip as they both continue to fuck you full.

Jungkook growls like a clap of thunder, and it’s enough to bring Taehyung back to his senses. His head snaps up angrily, your blood momentarily forgotten. You just barely manage to focus your gaze on Taehyung’s face to see him bare his teeth in a vicious snarl at Jungkook, more monster than man.

“What is it, pup? Want a taste?”

Your mind moves slowly, and just as you think to yourself that Jungkook will scoff at the very idea, maybe even try to fight Taehyung for suggesting it, a new sensation flutters against your neck. It’s unmistakable, the touch of Jungkook’s tongue over the same spot, hot enough to burn the delicate skin that was just made so cold by Taehyung’s mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you moan loudly.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Taehyung purrs, chased with a dark laugh, and your mind is too dizzy to know which of you he’s asking.

“She’s sweet,” Jungkook confirms, and your eyes roll back at the warmth of his tongue when it returns to your neck. Taehyung laughs even louder.

“He’s not gonna leave any for me. Can I give you one more set, jagi?”

“Please,” you gasp. “I’m so fucking close, Tae.”

Your head feels heavy on your neck now, and it takes all the strength you have to look at Taehyung when you feel the brush of his marble palm against your cheek. “I love you,” he murmurs, and then there’s an animal sound as his teeth tear a fresh gash into the other side of your neck.

Two cocks filling you, two tongues drinking you, your mind at the precipice of blacking out, the sweet pleasure-pain of ice and fire twisting all the way through your body: it’s all too much. Taehyung’s second bite sends you violently over the edge, and your vision goes black as you come with a strangled scream. White noise roars in your ears like TV static, and you feel the unmistakable throb of two loads filling you up simultaneously as your cunt pulses in an endless, overwhelming orgasm.

A voice somewhere in the back of your mind asks if these might be your final moments alive, if this shaky inhale you can barely take is the last breath you’ll ever breathe, and then the world goes dark as you lose consciousness entirely.

~*~

You wake up with a deep gasp, like coming up for air.

You’ve been laid flat on your back on the bed, and you sit up so fast your head spins, making it momentarily impossible to focus on anything. You squeeze your eyes shut again, trying to steady yourself.

“Oh thank god,” Taehyung’s worried voice comes from your right side, and you feel both of his hands close over yours. “I was just about to call Seokjin. Do you still want me to?”

The thought of having to explain any of this to Taehyung’s adoptive father makes your face burn with embarrassment.

“No, no, Tae,” you manage to croak. “I’m fine, seriously. Don’t call him.”

“You’re lucky,” you hear Jungkook scoff from your left. “I had about five more seconds left of you playing dead before I was going to tear vampy here to shreds. Guess there’s always next time.”

You wrench your eyes open in disbelief to find Taehyung and Jungkook staring at you, brows creased with worry.

“N-next time?”

“Do you still want that, jagiya?” Taehyung asks softly, and you have to swallow down the urge to cry. “You still want both of us?”

“More than anything,” you choke out, eyes darting between the two of them, trying to take them both in at once. “I-I’m sorry I pushed myself too hard, but please, I still need–”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung interrupts you. “We clearly all got caught up in the moment. I’m just glad you’re okay. And now we know better, for… next time.”

You still can’t believe what you’re hearing, and you turn to look at Jungkook, trying to make sense of it.

Jungkook just shrugs. “Neither of us have ever felt anything close to what we felt tonight. I mean, it was insane. And we both love you, that much is obvious. So as long as you’re still breathing, I guess we’re gonna have to learn to play nice.”

Taehyung laughs darkly as your jaw drops open. “It’s true, jagiya. I never would’ve believed it before tonight. But, despite all odds, it would seem we’ve found a way to… compromise.”

lol i'm so sorry this was the dumbest thing i've ever written bye

#jungkook smut #taehyung smut #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #taekook x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #jungkook x y/n #taehyung x y/n #bts twilight AU #bts smut #bts crack #i am insane bye

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voidbeomgyu · 1 year

Text

ALONE (Teaser)

In which you meet your bias in the worst circumstances.

PAIRING Idol Jake Sim x Fan Fem Reader

GENRE Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Slow Burn, Romance/Strangers to Lovers, Suggestive (Maybe smut, not sure yet.), some fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MDNI, Descriptions of violence, death, blood, etc., All members except Jake died so keep that in mind (I'm sorry), Cursing, Crimes, Mental health talk and experiences, Death, Sickness (Throwing up), Making out, Smut(?), It's an apocalypse!au idk how else to warn about that LOL

SUMMARY The group Enhypen get on a plane to the US and when landing are met with the worst. Jake makes it out alive... but alone. Since the dead are attracted to areas where the population is saturated, your best bet is to stay low in the areas usually considered dangerous (alleyways, abandoned buildings, etc). He made his way into the country and found a nice cabin alongside a lake. His further inspection led him to believe it was abandoned for whatever reason, maybe it was a vacation home? Little did he know his inference was correct, and soon he was met face to face with a member of the family who owned it. How would she react to seeing her favorite artist rummaging through the cupboards of her new--hopefully permanent--home? And how would he be able to explain to a loyal fan of his that he was the only member left?

TEASER WORD COUNT 1,625

RELEASE DATE To be determined.

TAGLIST Comment on this post or send an ask to be added. (Have your age on your profile or you will not be tagged)

Endless walking while trying to find a suitable place to stay was slowly driving Jake insane. The exhaustion from travelling, fear of death, and anguish from the scene at the airport was weighing down on him heavier and heavier every second. Having watched his best friends, his brothers, his family all being taken away from him without being able to do anything but listen to the oldest’s words, “Run”.

Jake had not yet cried, there was no time for it. It’s been almost thirty six hours since then, he’d stolen a bike around a mile away from the airport. It’s helped him a lot on his journey to safety. He never stole, he wasn’t like that, not that type of person. But in the moment he didn’t have the time nor energy to feel guilty about it.

Jake didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but he wanted quiet. Not knowing wether or not it’ll be safer in the city or the country side, he chose the latter. Cities are crowded with people, meaning they must be crowded with the dead by now, right? No matter; either way he knew he’d feel much better being in the middle of nowhere, or at least in the middle of what looked like nowhere. All alone in an abandoned farm house, maybe a lake house, any house on the country side would do. He was being too optimistic, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. Finding a safe home to live in alone with no one around for miles sounded comforting.

The Jake from two days ago would’ve shivered at the thought of being completely alone. Though no extrovert, he needed people. He needed that connection, that interaction. His reasons to smile and laugh were mostly based around the people around him or the entertainment he consumed. Entertainment was out of the question now, and it seemed like people were too. Most dead, and others probably too violent to give Jake a chance due to the circumstances.

All he held on him was his and Sunghoon’s carry-on bag from the flight. Note to self, don’t try to save your friend by holding onto their bag. Thoughts like this crossed his mind every few minutes, tragedies sentenced as jokes but he wasn’t laughing. What’s wrong with me? How could I think something like that? Maybe it was the dehydration, starvation, overall fatigue? He hadn’t eaten anything since the flight and was savoring the small amount of water he had on him. Either way, thinking of his beloved friends didn’t do much to help his mood. Trying to think of the good times? Those good times will never happen again, they’re gone forever and I’ll never get them back.

More days passed like this. With a stop at a gas station probably being the reason he’s even alive right now. It was abandoned, for the most part. It was the early morning, and he was literally starving now. The cashier was still there, but his neck was chained so tightly to the wall that it was on the edge of ripping his head clean off. Oh, he was a living corpse too. Jake could tell that much by just looking at him, muffled grunts and groans coming from the pale body every minute. Luckily, he didn’t seem to care much of Jake’s criminal activities there. Stuffing whatever foods and drinks he could into the bags he had on him. They were even heavier now, but he couldn’t feel anything. He was numb to all feeling, mentally and physically.

At day four he had started keeping track of how many days passed with a calendar he found on the wall of the gas station that morning. He didn’t stay there though, he didn’t have it in him to kill the cashier, and he knew that if he somehow got loose while he was sleeping it would all be over. The past few days he hadn’t slept or rested much at all actually. Napping for at most an hour at a time, waking up to the slightest noises and scurries of nearby wildlife. He knows he’s incredibly lucky to not have encountered any of the dead, besides the one at the gas station, but it’s a little stressful to not have seen any either. Where could they all be? He had made it out of the city, the once bustling streets on day two, he knew many people weren’t out here to begin with. But knowing there are creatures that could kill him in seconds lurking while having no idea where they are was terrifying.

It’s been six days. His legs started feeling numb just hours after finding his bike due to the frantic pedaling, now he felt like his legs were asleep all the time. The feeling of pins and needles covered his lower body as they worked on auto pilot to keep him going. His back felt horrible, slouched from his broken spirit. Endless cramping and soreness of his hands and fingers from gripping the bikes handles for hours at a time. His knuckles were white, and now so was his once tanned and alive skin.

His lack of proper meals, sleep, and rest was now obvious. Jake hasn’t seen himself since that day in the airport, but from looking at his now thinner, paler, vein visible arms, he could take a guess at what his face looked like. Hell, he could feel the bags under his eyes whenever he blinked now.

It’s been quiet and empty for a few miles. Nothing but grass, and a dirt trail he’s been following in sight. How long is this damn trail? he thought. Jake started following the trail at the sunset of day five; he remembers because of his calendar. It was coming to the end of day six, the sun starting to set in the distance behind him. He found a flashlight at the gas station and used it to find himself a place to “rest” for the nights he faced, it neared the time to find a spot to sleep.

Trees were all around him now, the area looked more alive here, not dried out and dead like the miles before. He must be getting close to some sort of building, forest trails usually have a building as a starting point, right? Unless this trail wasn’t made for hikers, in that case he was hoping in vain.

It was almost completely dark now. Jake had usually found somewhere to stay by this time, but something was telling him to keep going. Using the flashlight to illuminate the shadowed forest, he heard his friends voices cheering him on over and over again.

“Keep going Jake!”

“Just a little longer!”

“You’ll be okay!”

Tears were unconsciously streaming down his face now, though he still didn’t feel anything. His body just gave up on the effort of keeping them in.

Jake pedaled faster. He couldn’t hear anything but his heavy panting, it felt like someone had covered his ears with their hands and muted the sound of everything around him. He saw something in the distance, the roof of a building; he padaled faster. A house, the roof made of wood, looked like a cabin; he padaled faster. He could hear the muffled sound of streaming water; he pedaled faster.

Face to face with a cabin, going so fast he couldn’t stop himself from crashing into the wet grass below him. Still struck with adrenaline, he pulled himself up quickly and dragged his bike to the front door. His broken and unused voice sounded through his pants as he tried frantically to open the damned door.

The door handle had a key hole but was locked with a rusty padlock. He could turn the handle and wriggle the door, that padlock was what he needed to remove. He pulled a hammer out of his bag; he grabbed it from the gas station floor, it was covered in dried blood. Obviously used by someone prior to leaving it there. Jake slammed the hammer into the padlock, over and over again. The loud bangs from striking the lock were null to Jake’s ears, his desperation coating over all his sense.

Smash. The padlocks body is broken away from its handle and the door is free from it’s hold on the wooden frame.

Jake shoves his way inside, throwing the bike onto the hard floor of the entry way before turning to lock the door. It was locked from the outside but had a perfectly working lock on the inside, though he didn’t care to question it. He made it, he was safe, he felt like he could faint.

He had no time to think, let alone find a good source of light before he threw up. Keeling on the once clean floor, liquid from his stomach poured out from him. His throat burned and ached at the feeling, like his throat was made of sandpaper. Falling back he sat on the floor, staring at the door and the mess he made on the ground. He laid back and let his eyes rest for the first time in nineteen hours. Jake fell asleep there on the hard floor, knee propped up on the backside of a couch.

If he was thinking clearly, he would’ve checked the entire cabin, then scavenged for any foods that may be there. But he was broken, body and mind. Luck had been on his side since the beginning though. The home was completely vacant before he entered, and when he wakes up he’ll have found himself a place to live in safely. Away from the corpses living in the surrounding cities, and away from any still living people, all alone.

(A/N: Hello friends! I'm finally writing LOL I've had this wip since December and I'm finally going to finish it. This post is just to see if people would even be interested lol. The total fic word count I don't know yet because I haven't finished it, but I am close! I won't give y'all any hints but I will apologize in advance for the angst I'm about to put y'all thru<3 sorry love you guys muah. Don't know exactly when I will publish the full fic, maybe right when I finish it, maybe a month after I finish it IDK I haven't written seriously in months so I'm not too confident anymore but I am excited. Hope y'all are as excited as I am :D )

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wooziorgans · 8 months

Text

how to kill the sun || ljh

pairing: idol!jihoon x non idol!reader. gn!reader.

genre: nsfw! MDNI. fluff. friends to lovers.

description: jihoon comes home after work a little more drunk than he anticipated. he finds y/n on his couch waiting for his return, shining as bright as the sun in the dim lights of his living room.

warnings: fluff oh my god so many feeling. idiots in love with each other. mentions of alcohol consumption. jihoon with long hair omgomgomg. pet names (angle, baby, love, etc.).

word count: 9.5k

NSFW TAGS UNDER THE CUT.

nsfw warnings MDNI: p w a little plot. jihoon has such a big praise kink :(((. feelings during sex. penetrative sex. pussy drunk jihoon. aftercare. reader has female anatomy. soft sex. oral (both receiving). getting absolutely manhandled by this guys big ass arms. big dick jihoon amen. holding hands during sex seriously they’re so in love with each other. unprotected sex (don’t do this). hair pulling. a little choking. a hand job that lasts maybe two seconds. fingering. kind of?? possessive??? jihoon???. marriage??? kink??? implied??? idk what happened to me when I wrote this.

a/n: i tried to keep things as gn as possible but it was a little hard,,, n e ways. enjoy!!

jihoon <3 [17:24]

the guys want to get drinks after work. i tried to tell them we have plans but they won’t listen :(

just let yourself in. i’ll be home around 7:30?

i’m really sorry that i haven’t been able to see you lately. :((

This stream of text messages came almost two hours ago. The clock was ticking down to Jihoon’s arrival. Y/N sat comfortably on his couch, watching some shitty reality show they weren’t paying much attention to. A hoodie they stole from Jihoon’s closet enveloped them loosely. It was the only thing covering their torso. An equally loose pair of shorts sat around their thighs.

The soft click of the lock resonates through the apartment. Jihoon’s home. They shift back onto the couch, getting comfortable. Some shuffling is heard as Jihoon slips off his shoes and jacket.

He slides into the kitchen, glancing into the living room. The soft drone of the television brings his attention to the figure in front of the screen. Y/N sits back on the couch, the small throw blanket covering their legs. The ottoman is already pulled up to the couch, serving as a foot rest. It matches the L sectional couch. “Hoon? You home?” They call, hearing the shuffle of Jihoon’s feet.

He hums, setting his keys on the counter before he stumbles softly over his feet on his way to the couch. “Sorry. I drank a bit more than I wanted to.” Despite the obvious alcohol in his system, his speech is still coherent. He takes a seat on the couch right next to Y/N. They shift, moving closer to him.

Jihoon rests his head against their shoulder. “Missed you,” he breathes, resting an arm around their shoulder, “a lot. So much.” Moments like these were rare with Jihoon. Despite how he normally shied away from any form of affection, when he was drunk (which was a very new experience for everyone around him) he was incredibly clingy. Especially when it came to Y/N.

“God, you really are drunk.” Y/N laughs softly, running a careful hand through his hair. “Do you still want to watch a movie? Or do you want to sleep?” His eyes flutter shut carefully.

“Jus’ wanna be with you.” He tightens his arms around them, digging his face into their neck. Y/N pets his hair and he hums. His lips fall open against the skin of Y/N’s neck. “I love you.” He breathes. It feels like a confession.

Y/N swallows sharply. Though love was very present in their friendship with Jihoon, it was always easier done than said. He never said it, and now here he was, drunk and clinging to Y/N like his life depends on it. “I love you too.” Y/N swallows, adjusting their position on the couch. “Let’s go to sleep, okay?” Jihoon just nods with a soft groan.

He falls asleep slowly, resting more of his weight onto Y/N’s shoulder. His head falls onto their chest. Y/N slides down the back of the couch, laying down. They carefully support Jihoon’s neck, making sure not to move too fast in order to let him rest. His head rests on their chest. It feels a little crushing, for many reasons; but it’s comfortable. Maybe because it’s Jihoon. Y/N closes their eyes, fixing a hand in Jihoon’s hair. They fall asleep quickly in only the dim light of the television which screen is now black, and the piercing beam of the moon.

It’s the sunlight that wakes Jihoon up. A stray beam pushing through the blinds, hitting his eyes directly. He groans softly, shifting. It takes him a few seconds to realize he’s not in his bed, but instead on the couch, laying on top of Y/N. His face flushes softly at the realization but before he can pull himself away he feels them shift.

Jihoon cranes his head up to look at Y/N. The soft dust of orange light on their skin makes them glow. They look so beautiful like this, resting peacefully. A piece of hair falls in their face, and he carefully brushes it away from their face.

The hand resting on his neck moves up and tightens in his hair.

“Mm. Morning,” Y/N groans softly, running a gentle hand through his grown out hair. It’s soft, despite the product still in it from the day before. Jihoon freezes, all thoughts of moving away disappear. All he can feel is the heat of the morning sun and the warmth on his face and ears.

Their eyelashes flutter against their cheeks, and Jihoon stares with an apologetic expression, trying to pull himself away slowly. “Morning. D’you remember last night?” He asks, not totally thinking about what he’s saying.

“Yeah. Do you?” They tease, sleep still heavy in their voice. He hums. Y/N slides their hands over Jihoon’s back. “C’mere.” Y/N tugs at his shirt. He shifts over, laying more directly on Y/N. They open their eyes, looking down at him.

A tender hand slides further down his back, toying with the hem of his shirt which had been pulled up in his sleep. He freezes, a harsh chill running up his spine. The warmth on Y/N’s hands immediately spreads a wave of electricity through his body.

“Are you sure you’re not still drunk? You never let me cuddle you like this, Ji.” They laugh softly, carefully pushing their hand under the hem of his shirt. Jihoon lifts his neck, as if to say something. Instead, he closed his eyes and takes a deep breath. His chest tightens softly; his breathing gets a little more shallow.

The recollection of his drunk actions is enough to make him flush deeper. With a hand slowly sliding up his back, he loses all train of thought. He shivers again from the careful fingers grazing his skin. Y/N pulls their hand away carefully, afraid that they overstepped some kind of unspoken boundary. Jihoon’s head shoots up, suddenly insecure that his reaction made them uncomfortable.

Y/N lowers their hand back onto Jihoon’s skin. Another hot wave flashes through his body. His breath quickens even more. A soft gasp falls from his lips as Y/N curls their fingers, nails digging softly into the canyon of his spine, scratching his skin. He involuntarily arches up into their touch.

“You a little nervous baby?” Y/N laughs softly. “Don’t worry, Ji. I’ll take care of you.” They move their hands up, now resting them on his shoulder blades.

Jihoon’s breath gets shorter, his brain short circuiting. He bites his lip, suppressing a soft moan. Despite how intimate this was, he was getting into the rhythm; so much so that it was beginning to feel natural. He had never really expected something like this to happen, and he definitely never expected this from Y/N.

They gasp softly at the soft noise that doesn’t quite leave his lips. “You like that?” Y/N digs their nails into his skin a little harder.

As much as he did like the soft sting of their nails, he hated the way Y/N was able to see right through him. It was something unique to them. It was something none of his other friends has the ability to do. This was one of the reasons the two had formed an incredibly strong friendship extraordinarily fast.

God, he loved the way they were talking to him. Y/N knew just as much from the way he would look at them, somehow managing to avoid eye contact. Fuck, was he blushing? One hand slides out of his shirt, up to the back of his neck. It burrows itself into his hair again. He leans into the hand in his hair.

“Fuck, angel. Come here.” Y/N coos, pushing Jihoon’s legs open with theirs. Jihoon steadies himself with his arms, holding himself over Y/N as they hook their legs into his and pull their body down the cushions of the couch. Y/N exhales deeply once their face is in line with Jihoon’s.

Jihoon feels a weird pang of anxiety in his chest. His breath drops when Y/N’s lips get in line with his. He bites his lip once again, feeling his heart leap to his throat. Though there was no kiss, an unspoken promise hung in the air. It refracted through the sunlight, adding sparkles in its path. Or maybe it was dust.

“Do you want to kiss me Ji?” Y/N breathes against Jihoon’s lips. Moving the hand that was nestled in his hair, Y/N cups the side of his face, moving down to stroke the corner of his mouth with their thumb.

Their hands were so soft against his cheek. He swallows hard, silently hoping Y/N would just kiss him. His breath was short and his eyes didn’t have the courage to look at theirs.

“Answer me baby.” They coo, rubbing their thumb against the corner of his mouth. He parts his lips automatically. He nods suddenly, all of the touching catching up with him. They slide their finger over his bottom lip. “Use your words.” Y/N presses their finger into his lip. He swallows.

“I want to kiss you,” He breathes in a whisper. After everything, never did he quite expect to be saying these words this early in the morning. Especially not under the warm glow of the sun. He had hoped Y/N would kiss him after his drunken confession last night. Now, he was looking at their lips with his so, so close to theirs.

“How bad?” Y/N pushes their thumb against his lip, their finger softly grazes his teeth. Fuck, this was so intimate. Jihoon felt like he was going to lose it— something; anything. He needed anything more. All he could focus on was how soft their skin was and how warm their breath is against his lips. “How bad Jihoon?” They ask again, pushing their thumb between his teeth.

His arms shake, a little weaker at the action. A soft sigh falls from his lips, but it’s whiny. He tried to speak, but his throat felt so tight. He was panting; his breathing was almost erratic. He thought about how much he’s wanted to kiss them; how much he needs to. And then he’s saying it, the words falling out of his mouth so fast he doesn’t comprehend speaking them until seconds later.

“Shit. That’s my boy.” Y/N removed their thumb from his lip. It glistens in the sunlight. He whines softly, adjusting to align himself to a better angle with their lips. He finally lets himself make eye contact with Y/N. “There’s my pretty boy.” They smile at him, soft and fond.

He preens at the pet name, his whole body getting hotter. God, Jihoon had no idea his body could feel so on fire like this. He mustered up the courage to touch them. A tentative hand falls on the side of Y/N’s face. They close their eyes softly, leaning into his hand. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to see you like this.” Y/N huffs out, using their own hand to guide Jihoon’s thumb over their lips. His thumb rests on their bottom lip before he brushes it back, touching the side of their mouth which is now hung open in slight disbelief.

Y/N shudders out a breath as one leg wraps around Jihoon’s waist. “Think you can kiss me now?” Y/N asks, their breath hot on Jihoon’s lips. Their hands are back in his hair, digging into his scalp. Jihoon inhales sharply. Y/N’s hands felt like an invitation; one that Jihoon is more than eager to accept. He slowly tilts his head to the side, using his arm that was still bracing the couch to lower his body.

“You’re so pretty,” Y/N says, looking directly into his eyes, “have I ever told you that?” Jihoon immediately tucks his face into his shoulder, blushing deeply. Yes, you have called me pretty before. Jihoon thinks. Only when you’re drunk.

Y/N laughs softly. They use the hands in his hair to guide his head back to its previous position. The sound makes his heart batter against his ribcage. All he wants right now is Y/N. He’s never been so sure of anything.

“Wanna kiss you so bad, Ji.” Y/N whispers. Jihoon moans. The leg around his waist pulls him in tighter as Y/N’s hands drag his face closer by the neck. They gasp softly at the sound, back arching off the couch.

Jihoon can’t think right now. All of his senses are filled with Y/N. All he wanted right now was for their lips to come closer. The soft pang of hunger inside him was getting much stronger. He had been trying to keep himself in check, but Y/N’s words and touch were too much. They were driving him crazy. And then he decided he couldn’t wait anymore. He pulls himself closer to Y/N, head tilting slight. His lips hover over theirs and he’s so, so close. As much as he hated it, he pulled his body closer to theirs.

His lips brush against Y/N’s and he pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth. All of the blood in his body seemed to rush to his head, making his ears burn. Y/N stutters out a breath as they move their hands to cup his face. Finally, Jihoon lets himself give in. He tilts his head a little more, releasing his lip from his teeth and placing a soft kiss against Y/N’s lips.

His whole body burns, like he’s running a fever. He might as well be, with the way his whole body is on fire and his head is spinning so much. Y/N gasps softly and it’s just enough to put his brain into overdrive. The careful press of his lips starts to melt away as his jaw moves in sync with Y/N’s. His hand slides to their neck.

Y/N’s hands slide around his body, back to his shirt and up the bare skin of his neck. His nerves were too sensitive; the rake of their nails against his skin was too much. He’s genuinely starting to sweat, a pleasant wave of heat firing through his whole body. His lips faulter as he pushes a whine back down his throat. Jihoon can only imagine how much heat he’s radiating right now. Y/N pulls away slowly.

“You feeling a little warm?” Y/N’s lips glisten. He nods, despite suddenly feeling cold. Everything about them was getting him hot.

“Take this off then.” Y/N suggests, tugging at the bottom of his shirt, which had been pulled halfway up his back. The small action made him realize how much their hands had been on him. It fills his face with a heat that spreads through his body; one that ultimately settles back on his cheeks. He nods, using his core to hold himself over Y/N as he slips the lose shirt over his head. He throws it on the ottoman.

Y/N stares at his chest as he sits on their legs to discard the shirt. They run a hand over his chest, hooking their fingers in his necklace; they move even slower over his nipples. “This is what you’ve been hiding from me? God, you’re ripped.” They ask, hand settling on his hips with their thumbs resting on the edge of his abs. He laughs, embarrassed. His necklace refracts the sunlight.

He’s always worn a shirt when going to a pool or the beach with Y/N. He was always so respectful, choosing to wear a shirt when they were around. Now? Y/N’s kind of mad he’s been keeping this a secret for so long. From them specifically.

He sits upright on their legs for a few moments before he leans back over, using his arms to hold himself up. Y/N’s hands find their way to the sides of Jihoon’s face. The cool metal of his necklace brushes the material of Y/N’s— Jihoon’s— hoodie.

He closes his eyes letting Y/N feel him up. He gasps softly as one hand trails down the bare skin of his chest. A careful finger curls and Y/N runs their digit over the ridge of his abs. Their nail catches on the band of his black sweat pants before they move it back up to his chest. Their hand settles flat against his sternum.

Then it’s hooking softly in his necklace, pulling him back into a soft kiss. Jihoon can’t stop his hand from sliding under the hoodie that sits loosely on Y/N’s frame. It brushes their side, making them shiver into the kiss. He felt like he was melting, his own nails softly scratching down their side. Y/N gasps softly, biting Jihoon’s lip.

Their hands move on autopilot as one rests back on his neck and the other slides down his back, brushing the hem of his pants. Jihoon groans, pushing more of himself into the kiss that had unintentionally paused.

Jihoon carefully pushes his tongue past his lips. The muscle slides against Y/N’s lips, asking for permission. It’s granted as they part their lips. He slides his tongue in between their teeth, feeling the slide of their tongue against his. It’s so good. Y/N moans softly into his mouth and it sends his brain into overdrive.

He adds more force to the kiss, his hand sliding up their side under his hoodie. A small possessive streak burns through him and he feels like he might pass out. His hand caresses the skin of their stomach, feeling the inner lining of his hoodie. Oh, that’s all Y/N was wearing. Jihoon blushes hard at this; he spent the whole night laying on their chest with such a small barrier between their skin.

His eyes roll back into his head as he starts to grab at the skin, moving his hand up. His fingers dance across their ribs, before running over their chest. He settles his thumb against their nipple. The soft moan Y/N breathes into his mouth makes his hips involuntarily rut into nothing.

Y/N pushes a leg in between Jihoon’s, their hands fidgeting with the hem of his sweats. Jihoon grinds his hips again, this time against the thigh that’s now between his legs. He gasps, a small whine leaving his throat. Fuck, that was hot, Y/N thinks, hooking a finger under his waistband. “God. Please tell me you want this.” Jihoon whines. Y/N pauses, jaw hung open catching their breath.

“So bad Jihoon.” They gasp as Jihoon flicks his thumb against the soft skin of their nipple. “We have so much to talk about but right now, god, don’t stop touching me.” Jihoon leans down, placing a small kiss to their jaw. In leaning down, his crotch drags against their thigh. It’s the first bit of friction that registers in his brain. He moans, the sound muted against Y/N’s jaw. Shit, he’s so hard.

Y/N can feel the weight of his erection against their thigh and it makes their head spin. Jihoon places soft kisses along their jaw, sliding down their neck before he settles on a place to mark. Soft kisses litter the skin of Y/N’s neck.

And then he sucks on the sensitive skin, causing Y/N to arch their back off the couch. “Oh my god. Jihoon, please.” They pant, hands back in his hair as they tug at the strands near his scalp. He moans a little louder than he would have liked to. His hips drag across Y/N’s thigh again, harder. They move their hand back to his sweats, not quite being able to make up their mind.

As he licks a sucks at their neck, they pull the strings of his sweats undone. “Shit. Not here.” Jihoon suddenly pulls away. Y/N looks up at him through hooded eyes, confused. “Not on the couch, baby. Let me take you to my room at least.” He clarifies, panting.

The heat on his face spreads down his neck as he speaks. Y/N nods, wrapping their arms around his neck and their legs around his waist. If it wasn’t for the sheer amount of strength they knew Jihoon had, they would have worried about accidentally pinning him to the couch like this.

Instead, he wraps his arm around their back under the sweater. With a strained breath, he flexes the muscles of his stomach and gets on his knees. Y/N gasps, still gripping onto him, though they know he won’t drop them. He turns his body, adjusting his legs so he’s sitting on the couch in a normal position. He pushes the ottoman away from the couch with his legs, clearing a path to exit the living room.

Y/N pulls their head up, placing soft kisses to his neck. He shudders as he stands up, arms still around their back as one slides down to their ass. He places it carefully under their legs, to better support their weight. He walks rather quickly to his room, releasing the hand from under Y/N’s ass to twist the doorknob open.

His room is flooded with sunlight from the large window which blinds have been opened. He sits quickly on his bed. Y/N takes advantage of this to straddle his lap. They grab the sides of his face, kissing him back onto the bed. “Shit. Fuck, you’re so pretty.” They gasp against him, causing him to whine again. “You sound so pretty, Jihoon.” He has no time to reply before he’s being kissed again, but he moans into it. It’s enough of a reply.

Y/N starts rocking their hips against Jihoon. The heat between their legs sits right over where he wants it to. He moans, audibly this time, not trying to suppress it against their lips. Y/N kisses him harder, feeling his hidden cock drag against their core. Shit, he’s huge.

Jihoon slides his hands under the sweater again. The fabric moves with his hands. Y/N sits up, pulling the fabric over their head. Jihoon stares as what he has only ever dreamed of stares him right in the face. The smooth skin of Y/N’s chest and stomach glow, quite literally, in the sunlight. Their skin has a golden hue to it and it looks like it’s sparkling.

Jihoon feels like he’s staring straight into the sun. The sight is so blinding.

He can’t help the hand that reached out, pretty fingers dancing across the skin of their stomach. It makes Y/N shiver. They let him have his moment, the same they had theirs when he took his shirt off— what feels like hours ago now.

Jihoon’s cock twitches so hard at the way they seem to chase every single one of his delicate touches. Y/N feels it happen against them. “Holy shit, I’m in love with you.” Jihoon whispers, one hand travelling to grab Y/N’s. The way Y/N moans quietly as he says it sends heat through his entire body.

Y/N interlaces their fingers with his. Jihoon feels his breath catch in his throat; his chest starts fluttering. “Jihoon, baby, shit—“ Y/N grinds down against Jihoon’s cock, his grip on their hand tightens. They look down at him, making direct eye contact.

His long eyelashes flutter delicately against his cheek. The sunlight shines through his eyes, making the normally dark irises appear far more intricate with a new golden hue. “I love you; I’m so in love with you. Shit, can’t believe it’s taken me this long to admit it.”

Neither of them can believe Y/N’s words. Not with the way the two of them are touching each other. Not with the way they kiss like it’s all they have. Not with the way Y/N looks in the sunlight. Especially not with the way Jihoon looks in the morning sun; all golden and beautiful, as out of breath as he is lovely. He looks like the sun.

“You look like the sun, baby. Like you have the stars in your eyes,” Y/N speaks their thoughts so clearly it catches Jihoon off guard. He chuckles deeply; the vibrations shoot straight through Y/N.

“I do.” He huffs, “I’m looking at you.” Y/N hides their face in their neck. Jihoon sighs. “Look me angel. Keep looking at me.” When he talks to them like that, it’s impossible not to. “There’s my baby.” The pet names ignite something in Y/N.

A careful hand finds the strings of Jihoon’s sweat pants. His free hand rests on their hip. They play with the strings before eventually slipping a finger under the waist band. The waistband of Jihoon’s boxers slides past their finger. “Wanna feel you. Please,” Jihoon’s cock twitches as Y/N shifts back on his legs, sitting perfectly on his thighs. “Please let me touch you, Jihoon.” He moans.

The way Y/N says his name is legitimately like a drug; he wants them to say it like this everyday, every time. He’s nodding, removing his hand from their hip to lift his hips off his bed. He pushes a hand under the waist band. Y/N uses theirs to move the other side.

With minimal struggle, which is incredibly surprising considering how much neither of them wanted to let go of the other’s hand, his pants and boxers reach the middle of his thigh. It’s enough to allow him to shift the rest of the way out of black sweat pants and matching boxers. They're kicked off the bed. Y/N gasps as his cock slaps the base of his stomach.

Jihoon looks away, half from embarrassment, half the give himself a break from the way Y/N stares at him. “You’re huge.” Y/N breathes. They swallow audibly, a small gasp leaving their lips. You’ve also been hiding this from me? They want to ask. Instead, they wrap their hand carefully around the base of Jihoon’s dick. It’s so heavy.

He hisses, back arching off the bed. “Oh my god. Need you to touch me.” Jihoon gasps, his teeth catching his bottom lip in between them. His eyes close as he steadies himself. There’s a brief moment of nothing before he feels it. A bead of spit slides down the head of his cock.

He looks back to Y/N immediately, seeing the origin of the drop still stuck on their bottom lip. He moans. The drop falls down his shaft, meeting the tip of Y/N’s finger. They give a slow pump to his cock and he hisses again. His grip on their hand tightens, and Y/N squeezes back.

“Careful baby,” they coo, “it’s okay. You’re okay. Let me make you feel good.” All he can do is nod. He bites his lip a little harder, enough for it to start to sting as the next stroke moves back up, squeezing a little more as Y/N’s hands get closer to his tip. “It’s so pretty Jihoon. You’ve such a pretty cock, fuck.” They slur, giving an experimental swipe of their thumb to the head of his cock. Jihoon gasps. His free hand moves to his sheets as his fingers curl tightly into the fabric.

Y/N does it again, this time sliding their thumb over his slit. His eyes shoot open with a curse, “Angel, please.” He whines. Y/N spits again, this time audibly. It makes Jihoon’s eyes roll back softly. A much bigger drop of spit falls against the side of his cock.

It makes him shiver. Y/N moves their hand up and down at a much faster pace. Jihoon’s head falls back again. He whines, lip still tight between his teeth. He’s swears he’s going to draw blood if they keep this up.

Y/N begins shifting, getting on their knees to place one of their own between Jihoon’s legs, spreading him open. They slide back, leaning over the head of his cock. They place a soft kiss to Jihoon’s tip. “Holy fuck!” He gasps, hand finding its way to their neck. He pushes his hand up into their hair. A soft lick slides over his slit.

Y/N’s tongue is welcomed with a salty drop of pre-cum. They moan, latching their lips over the head of Jihoon’s cock. The stretch from just his tip is completely foreign. There’s no way this blow job is going to go well for Y/N; it seems to be going great for Jihoon. He’s just so thick.

Jihoon brushes Y/N’s hair out of their face as they suck carefully on his head. “Jus’ like that, angel. Fuck, just like that.” Jihoon moans as Y/N flicks their tongue on the underside of his head. They can taste the precum on their tongue. Jihoon’s hand tightens in their hair as they slowly take more of him into their mouth.

His thighs shake as half of his cock slips inside Y/N’s mouth. He feels his tip hit the back of their throat and then he’s gone.

He slips his hand out of Y/N’s, a soft pang in his chest as he does so. His now free hand finds its way to their hair. He digs his fingers into the stands; his hips bucking up involuntarily. He lets out a loud, low moan when he feels the muscles in their throat constrict, taking him down their throat.

“You’re so good at this, fuck.” He hisses, eyes rolling back as his hair falls in his face. “Thought about your mouth so much.” Another confession slips past his lips. This one makes Y/N hum around him.

He gasps as Y/N starts bobbing their head, hands wrapped around whatever they can’t fit. It’s a substantial amount left outside of their mouth— really, it’s quite impressive how well endowed Jihoon is and how he’s done such a good job to hide it.

Though, thinking back to all of their trips to the beach, his dick print always did look quite big against his wet swim trunks. It always pressed against Y/N’s ass when they sat between his legs. It was always there.

Y/N slides one hand down his thigh, making him shiver as their nails drag across the pale skin. He shivers again, whining. Jihoon feels so sensitive; and then the tight knot in his stomach that he’s all too familiar with makes itself known. Only it’s much tighter than it’s ever been.

He gasps, hands digging into Y/N’s hair before he’s pulling them off. A thin line of spit connects their lips to his cock, and he almost snaps right there. He pants wildly, not being able to speak for a few seconds before a shy: “Sorry. I almost came,” leaves his lips. His cheeks burn as he catches his breath.

Jihoon’s tip is red and angry, leaking so much precum it’s almost impressive. It is impressive when Jihoon shifts his legs to pull Y/N up from his cock. They tower over him, face inches away from his. He hooks his legs between theirs, flipping them over so Y/N’s back is now against the mattress and he’s the one leaning over them.

His hands quickly find the waistband of Y/N’s shorts and they lift their hips up in an instant. His fingers hook under the band pulling them down to reveal—

“Fuck. Are those my boxers?” Y/N nods shyly as his eyes zero in on the pair of boxers he had given them after getting caught in the rain months ago. Jihoon yanks the shorts down, boxers coming off as collateral. Y/N kicks them off. His hand rubs up and down the smooth skin of their thigh.

He leans down, kissing them softly. A lot of the heat of the previous kisses is lost in this one. It’s gentle; so sweet it drives both of them insane. Y/N whines into the kiss and Jihoon continues to caress the inside of their thigh. He gives a soft squeeze to the skin, kneading it in his fingers. “Wanna touch you. Can I, angel?” He hums, placing soft kisses down Y/N’s neck. They nod, a small moan leaving their lips in response to the way Jihoon is kissing the side of their jaw, mixed with the cool metal of his necklaces dragging down their skin.

Y/N expects a hand to reach out and find their folds; except that’s not at all what happens. Jihoon continues kissing down their neck, over their chest and then to their stomach. He bites the skin softly, a hand running up their side. Y/N shivers, every single nerve in their body feels molten under his touch.

Finally, he kisses down their sagittal, stopping right before he reaches their clit. He exhales softly, the gust of breath against their core. He takes a moment to properly look at the sight in front of him. His hand finds his cock as he strokes it languidly. He bends down, lowering his mouth to the already wet folds.

“Please let me eat you out,” He begs. Y/N whines at the sight of him in between their legs. “Please.” He whispers. The puff of air that land against Y/N’s wet core sends a shiver up their spine again. Their hands find his hair, brushing through it.

“Jihoon, I swear to god if you don’t eat me out, I might—“ Jihoon flattens his tongue against Y/N’s opening, licking a stripe up the folds. Y/N feels all of the air leave their lungs as a pathetic mewl slips past their lips. He then dips his tongue in between them, licking all the way up before briefly attaching to their clit. “Fuck—“ they gasp, fingers digging in his hair.

He goes back to licking their folds, alternating between laying his tongue flat against them and working in between them. An experimental brush is placed against their entrance. Y/N pushes their hips down onto Jihoon’s face and uses their hands to push his face deeper. Jihoon takes that as a green light and begins to fuck them on his tongue.

“Shit, Jihoon. Gonna cum like this—!” They gasp, thighs closing in on his head. Jihoon pries their legs back open with his forearms. He keeps them pinned to the bed. One of his thumb attaches to their clit, rubbing it in slow circles. Y/N’s hands tighten at Jihoon’s roots, before they tug at it softly. The sensation makes him moan with his tongue deep inside Y/N.

Jihoon slides his tongue out of them, quickly replacing it with the hand that was on Y/N’s clit. His mouth swap places, pressing a soft kiss against their swollen clit. They jump, feeling one of Jihoon’s fingers press against their entrance. He carefully dips it in, slowly taking Y/N’s clit into his mouth at the same pace. God, he had incredible rhythm. It was no wonder he was such a good musician.

His first finger slips inside, slowly dipping in and out of Y/N’s dripping hole. He detaches his lips from their clit briefly. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” He plants a kiss right above their clit, before his tongue reaches out and almost pulls it inside his mouth. “God, angel. You’re so beautiful.”

“Another,” Y/N gasps, “give me another finger, please.” They cry, head thrown back with their hands all over Jihoon’s hair. He can’t stop himself when he digs his hips into the mattress. He whines against their clit as he fucks into the sheets on his bed.

He presses a second finger into Y/N, curling the up finally. His fingers are so long that they press right into the perfect spot, making Y/N’s legs shake softly. He begins to thrust them in and out, each stroke pressing against it. Their soft gasps fill the room as Jihoon works his fingers inside them.

Jihoon lets out his own gasps at the sounds Y/N makes. The fact that he’s moaning while eating them out makes Y/N tug on his hair hard.

Something unexpected happens. Jihoon moans loudly against their clit, his mouth hovering over the bud as he tried to process why the hell he liked that so much. In his small moment of clarity he realizes he’s not the one that needs to be pleasured right now.

He resumes the pace of his fingers, tongue flicking against Y/N’s clit as he moans around it. His hand works his cock as he humps the mattress, removing his arm from the hold on their thigh.

A hot, white flash of pleasure fills Y/N as Jihoon speeds up both his fingers and his mouth. “Oh my god, ‘m gonna cum,” they gasp, pulling his hair once again. “Jihoon, please—“ Jihoon doesn’t take to this lightly. He keeps pumping his fingers, making sure to brush Y/N’s g-spot each time.

His dark eyebrows furrow against his forehead. He’s so focused on getting Y/N there that he stops touching himself and zeros in completely on the task at hand. Y/N writhes on top of the bed, legs shaking as their back arches off the soft sheets.

Jihoon moans softly around their clit, nipping it with his teeth and that’s it. Y/N cums, thighs shaking as their whole body burns. It’s so intense; Jihoon feels it coat his fingers as he fucks them through their orgasm with his long digits.

Once the shaking stops, he dives back down; he spreads his fingers inside Y/N, placing his tongue in between them to lick up as much of their release as he can. Y/N grips his hair once again, pulling his head up once it starts to get too much.

Y/N is panting as they pull him up into a kiss, his lips shining with his spit and their release. They wrap their legs around his hips, pulling him closer. His cock slides over their ruined pussy, causing both of them to moan lowly. “Need you inside. Please.” Y/N begs, and it’s enough for Jihoon to wrap his hand around his cock as he shifts his hips back. He slides his head over Y/N’s clit, brushing it in between their folds. Both of them moan in unison at this.

Jihoon wraps his other arm under their back, lifting them up as he places their back against the pillows on his bed. The angle makes it easier to kiss Y/N, which he does as he lines himself up. It also makes his necklace brush against Y/N’s burning skin.

He carefully pushes his tip against Y/N’s entrance. It slides in with little resistance. Y/N whines and grabs the sheets as they feel him push his cock inside. With the tip inside, he stops. The stretch of his cock is almost too much as he splits them wide open. “‘S so big. Fuck, you’re so big.” Y/N cries, a small tear sliding down their cheek. Jihoon kisses them softly, using his hand to wipe the tears from their eyes with his thumb.

Jihoon knows he’s well endowed. Rushing this part was never an option for him, but if he isn’t cursing the way Y/N clenches around his tip, trying to suck him in. It makes it so hard to be patient. He pulls away from the kiss slowly. “Look,” he looks down to where their bodies are now connected. The sight of his cock carefully making its way inside is enough to make both of their eyes roll back onto their heads.

Jihoon places a careful hand on the back of Y/N’s neck, pulling them up enough to give them a clear view of the sight. Jihoon guides his cock still, pushing in again; this time much slower. Low moans leave both of them as he enters.

Once he’s half way in, Y/N feels it. His tip brushes their g-spot and they gasp harshly. They rock their hips down before they feel a strong hand on their thigh, stopping them. Jihoon runs a hand through their hair, cooing softly as he soothes them. “Careful angel. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” He whispers, because he’s trying to not be a hypocrite. He desperately wants to slam into them.

The stretch is almost too much; it’s no longer uncomfortable, but it’s so much. He’s so big, filling every inch of them that he’s touching. “Please just get it over with. Please just put it in.” Y/N whines, arm wrapped around his neck as they watch the slow slide of his cock inside them. Jihoon nods, slowly pushing it in, now hands free. His unoccupied hand reaches for Y/N’s.

Their fingers intertwine as he finishes pushing the last bit inside. Y/N hisses softly. It’s so much, every new inch brushing their sensitive spot. He’s so deep. Jihoon kisses them softly as he starts to pull out. When he moves back in, both of them moan against each other’s lips.

Jihoon starts fucking into Y/N slowly, but it’s not enough for either of them. His pace picks up until the kiss dissolves when both of them start to pant, mouths hanging open. He’s everywhere. Every inch of his cock fills Y/N so full it makes their head dizzy.

All Y/N can think of is the thick drag of his cock inside their walls. They clench around him. Jihoon loses his pace for a second, before he’s skillfully angling his hips up, thrusting deeper.

The sting is nothing compared to the intense pressure that’s building back up inside Y/N. Jihoon must be able to feel it; his hips snap harder.

“Fuck,” he hisses, his hips moving steadily as he thrusts in and out. “You let other people fuck you?” He asks, his lips grazing Y/N’s even closer as they both catch their breaths. He looks at them expectantly, repeating his question. They nod, a silent yes in the air. “Yeah? Never again. No one else can fuck you like this ever again.” Y/N throws their head back, nails raking down Jihoon’s back. He hisses, moaning softly at the sting.

Fuck, with the way he’s moaning like this— with how he’s so vocal, soft gasps and moans constantly leaving his mouth— how could they ever let anyone else fuck them? If this is a one time thing, Y/N will gladly die a nun. “Yours, all yours. Jihoon-“ they hiccup, tears coming to their eyes. “Always been yours. It was always you, Jihoon.” They gasp, head falling back. A soft tear rolls down their face. Jihoon wipes it way with his unoccupied thumb.

“Don’t cry, angel. I’m right here. Your Jihoon’s here.” He holds Y/N’s face so carefully it makes their stomach turn. They pull his face down with the back of their arm, connecting their lips. Jihoon holds their face as he times his kisses with his thrusts. It drives Y/N insane. They dig their nails deeper into his back. He whines softly into the kiss. The soft hook of his nose rubs against their cheek.

“I love you. Fuck, I love you so much.” Jihoon pants; it’s like a mantra of everything he’s felt for Y/N over the past three years. It’s being said like it was a long time coming, which it has been. Y/N moans at his words, fist deep in his hair.

“I love you, Jihoon,” They gasp as he thrusts particularly deep inside them. “It’s you, always been you. Fuck, I’m so in love with you.” Jihoon moans deeply, his thrusts picking up speed at a brutal pace.

Y/N feels him everywhere. His hands are all over their body, rubbing over their chest; his breath is on their face with his cock deep inside them. Jihoon is so lost in the way Y/N grips him, pulling him back in. It’s so tight, it’s so much.

“Baby, fuck, baby— I’m gonna cum.” He gasps, soft whines and moans find their way into his words. “Where do I—”

“Inside, please,” Y/N pants, “need it inside.” They moan, gripping his hair harder, nails digging into his shoulder a little harder. Jihoon just nods, lips reconnecting with Y/N’s.

His hips speed up, getting more erratic with each thrust. He’s slamming into them, cock hitting far too deep for it to be comfortable, but neither of them are worried about it. All Y/N can focus on is the drag of his cock against every inch of them, hitting their g-spot perfectly every single time. The moans filling the room from both of them are so sweet and full of the most intense pleasures either has ever felt.

Jihoon’s hips stutter once, then twice more and he stops, all the way in Y/N as hot strings of cum spill out of his cock. He lets out a high-pitched moan; it’s so high it doesn’t even sound like him but it’s so pretty. This, mixed with the way that he’s so deep, has Y/N coming undone once again. Their whole body shakes a they release around him again. The sudden tightness around Jihoon’s aching cock doesn’t help how much he comes.

There’s so much of it, and it’s so intense. Jihoon has never cum so hard in his life. He almost blacks out. Y/N clenches tighter as their orgasm washes over them in a heat wave of their own, arguably, more intense feeling of pleasure.

And then it happens. All at once, Jihoon feels his lower stomach get soaked. Despite how sensitive he is, he moves his hips to fuck Y/N through it. He only rocks in deeper and it makes Y/N’s eyes roll back in their head, vision blacking out a their mind goes completely blank. “Angel— angel, fuck. I’m here. I’m right here.” Jihoon’s hands move to the side of Y/N’s face, stroking their cheeks gently to ground them back into the moment. Jihoon wipes away small tears that fall down Y/N’s cheeks from the intensity of their orgasm. Their arms wrap around Jihoon’s neck, pulling him on top of them.

Jihoon releases the weight on his elbows, lying flat against Y/N’s chest. The extra weight on their body might help. He keeps rubbing his thumbs across their cheeks, waiting for the world to come back to Y/N.

When they finally move, Jihoon presses a soft kiss to their cheek. He smiles softly as their eyes flutter open, wet eyelashes sticking together. “Hi angel,” he coos, voice reverberating through his chest against Y/N’s. “Fuck, that was so… I hope it wasn’t too much.” He laughs softly, placing another soft kiss onto their lips.

Y/N exhales deeply, hands finding Jihoon’s hair once again. “It was so much but, god, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” They hold Jihoon close, not quite ready to deal with the aftermath of the situation. “We have so much to talk about.” They deadpan. It makes Jihoon swallow nervously before he realizes they’re smiling.

Carefully, he starts pulling out as he softens. Both of them are so sensitive; gasping and whining as Jihoon takes eons to finally pull all the way out. A noticeable wet spot is under Y/N, coating Jihoon as well. He’d normally bitch about it, but he just smiles. He pulls away from them carefully, watching as his cum slips out of Y/N. There’s so much of it and he has the urge to push it back in but it would be too much for both of them right now.

“I’ll be right back, baby. Gotta clean you up.” He carefully climbs off the bed, his legs shaking as he takes a wobbly step on the ground. One foot after the other, he walks to the bathroom.

Y/N lays on his bed panting, legs still spread wide as Jihoon’s cum slowly leaks out of them. Their hands find their chest, resting flat against the skin; right over their heart, which is beating wildly in their chest.

Jihoon returns a few minutes later to his bedroom, already cleaned up, to find Y/N laying with their eyes closed. If it wasn’t for the soft rise and fall of their chest, he would have thought they died. He places the glass of water on his night stand before he falls back between their legs. He pushes them open, slowly moving the warm washcloth over their folds.

Y/N doesn’t move, except for their eyes which open slowly. Jihoon wipes carefully, lifting their hips up slowly to clean up all of their— and his— releases. He shifts their hips over to avoid setting them back down in the, much bigger than he initially thought, wet spot on his bed. He leans over them to retrieve the glass of water. “Drink up, angel.” He grasps the straw with his index finger against the rim of the glass, pressing it to their lips.

Y/N takes a slow drink, cheeks hollowing around the straw. They look up at Jihoon, who is now leaning on his side, as he watches them take a drink. His hair is undeniably a mess, his face and parts of his chest still flushed. He looks so beautiful, eyes drooping from exhaustion in the glow of the morning sun.

Once the straw is moved away from their lips Y/N speaks. “You really do look like the sun.” A soft, tired smile falls across their face.

“You’re going to kill me, angel. Seriously. I think you already did.” He laughs, head thrown back with the softest of smiles on his face.

It’s a new experience for both of them; sex, aftercare, being so domestic like this. It’s still so comfortable, like life with Jihoon has always been. “It’s called a white death for a reason.” Y/N quips and it makes Jihoon laugh harder. He leans over them to place a soft kiss to their lips. Y/N’s hand finds the side of his face.

There’s no heat in this kiss, all of their energy was already expelled in an endothermic reaction between them. It’s so tender, as though everything either of them want to say at the moment is held within it. Jihoon pulls away first, head resting against Y/N’s shoulder. “I really do love you,” He breathes against their cooling skin, “‘m sorry I told you for the first time during sex.” While they can’t see it, Y/N knows his face is red once again. The tips of his ears heating up is a dead giveaway.

“I love you too.” Y/N breathes, hand resting carefully on his head. It’s a little harder to speak these words now, but they’re still incredibly easy. It’s almost a second nature, most likely because it’s Jihoon. “We should probably talk about this.”

They do. They shower separately, Jihoon sneaking back into the bathroom to press a soft kiss to the back of their neck as they dry off, arms wrapping around their waist with the pretence of just wanting to be near you. In the comfort of Jihoon’s couch, which is now forever imprinted with the image of him lying on top of Y/N as they exchanged first kisses. The skin of back feels sensitive again the thin fabric of his t-shirt.

They talk about it in Jihoon’s apartment, which he realizes has Y/N everywhere within it. They talk about when both of them realized this friendship became a little less platonic— two years ago on the camping trip after Soonyoung ate shit wakeboarding and you laughed so hard you thought you were going to throw up, mixed with when you hugged me for the first time after you had a rough shift at work and just wanted to be held.

About when they realized it was love— when you fell asleep on my shoulder halfway through a horror movie, and last year when you called me crying and I realized I never wanted to see you that hurt ever again.

About what it means for both of their futures; a collective agreement of a relationship. Another collective agreement of slowing down, a limit of kisses only until things naturally go elsewhere.

They talked over a warm cup of coffee, the soft sunlight losing its golden hue as morning turned into noon. Jihoon wraps his arm around their shoulder, placing a soft kiss against their damp hair. “Seal it with a kiss?” He suggests, now that they were both on the same page.

Y/N cranes their head up, more than willing to accept his proposal. Jihoon leans down, soft lips meeting him in the middle. He smiles. As bright as the sun, Y/N thinks.

Yeah. He’s a star.

And when Y/N leaves the practice room a week later, pressing a soft kiss against Jihoon’s lips, he feels warm. Save for the shocked gasps from the members, especially Seungkwan and his following declaration of: “You all owe me so much fucking money.”

Jihoon’s anger towards the fact that his band mates were placing bets on when he would get into a relationship with Y/N was nothing compared to the supernova bubbling up in his chest. It was nothing compared to the cataclysm of love he felt throughout his whole body.

So. How exactly do you kill the sun?

With soft lips and tender kisses. With small, shared, knowing glances at each other while your hands rest on each others legs in the booth of a restaurant surrounded by others.

Over a pot of shared ramen, arms around each other as they laugh at shitty comedies on Jihoon’s big couch. With hushed whispers under his sheets, hands grabbing onto anything they can reach.

By the fireplace in his childhood home, curled up under a blanket as his mom embarrasses him with childhood tales. On the beach, as he rubs sunscreen over Y/N’s back, sunglasses placed over his eyes and his hair tied back to keep it out of his face. Under Seungcheol’s knowing eyes when he officially tells everyone that, “Yes, we’re together.” They’ll have to talk about it later.

Backstage, after Jihoon won best producer for nth time and Y/N can’t quite keep the smile off their face, or hide the tears forming at their waterline. Hugging him after a long day, just for the purpose of being near him. Through tears on the worst days and a shower of kisses on the best days.

On one knee with a small black box, at an ungodly hour of the night when a late night walk on the bridge gave him the confidence he needed to finally pop the question after he accidentally told Y/N he was going to marry you one day during some sweet love making that took place the night before.

With tears in his eyes as he watches the rest of his life begin.

With Y/N.

a/n: aaaaand that’s a wrap!!!! this is my first full fic that i’ve posted here wowie. i might possibly make a sfw part two of their relationship bcs i am so obsessed w how jihoons so clingy n in love oh my god. maybe a prequel?? of all the little moments i mentioned. lmk !!

reblogs n comments r much appreciated!!!

#seventeen x reader #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x you #svt woozi #woozi #woozi fluff #woozi smut #woozi x reader #woozi x you #woozi x y/n #lee jihoon x you #lee jihoon x reader #lee jihoon smut #lee jihoon fluff #lee jihoon #☼wooziorgans

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luvfy0dor · 1 year

Note

Henlo! I saw that requests for Fyodor are open! And I was wondering if you could write something about Fyodor as a parent if you’re comfortable with that. For some reason I can’t find enough of those and I really wanna see how you’d do it!

(Not as the reader’s parent btw, maybe having a child/children with the reader. But I just wanna see how you think he’d behave in that situation and how you think it would all go down)

"Come on, papa!" Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader ｡˚♡₊

╰┈➤ Dad!Fyodor ༉‧₊˚✧

Description ; How Fyodor acts towards his child/children!

Warnings ; None

A/N; IVE BEEN LOWKEY WAITING FOR THIS REQUEST BRO IM SO EXCITED OVER THIS YOU DONT EVEN GET IT ALSO P/T STANDS FOR PARENTAL TITLE BC IDK WHAT YALL WANNA BE CALLED YKYK AND D/N IS DAUGHTERS NAME OBVI

Headcannons !! ༊*·˚

→ Dad!Fyodor who lets his kid/s play with his hair, too, messing it up and laughing at their fathers disheveled appearance.

→ Dad!Fyodor who quietly reads your kids bed time stories, letting them sit on his lap while he holds the book in front of them, pointing to the pictures with a smile.

→ Dad!Fyodor who picks out the most whack ass outfits for your kid, proudly displaying it out to you and frowning at your hesitant smile.

→ Dad!Fyodor who discouraged your children from cutting their hair and braids it or puts it up for them every morning before school.

→ Dad!Fyodor who (very frequently) helps your kid/s with their homework or projects for school, not quite giving them answers but shoving nudging them in the right direction.

→ Dad!Fyodor who teaches his kid(s) the basics of playing the cello, letting them get a feel for the strings. He would teach them how to hold the bow and would let them stand beside him and watch him play.

→ Dad!Fyodor who cooks recipes that he learned in Russia for you and your children, encouraging all of you to try foreign dishes. They give him a feeling of nostalgia and wanting to pass those special foods on to his kid(s).

→ Dad!Fyodor who absolutely tries passing on happy group counseling hour to his kid/s when they seem sad or upset.

Scenarios !! ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Your keys jingled in the keyhole of your front door as you pushed it open, revealing the living room that you had longed to sit down in all day. Work sucked, you weren't going to lie, but there was something that was allegedly important going on, so you had no choice but to attend.

Your husband volunteered to watch your daughter on her day off of school, which wasn't a totally uncommon occurrence due to Fyodors line of work. He didn't mind watching d/n, he likes it a lot, actually. Fyodor values the quality time he can spend with his kid just as much as the quality time he gets to spend with you.

The pitter patter of your daughters feet got louder the closer she got to the living room, rounding the corner and smiling. "P/t!"

"Hey, what'd I tell you about running?" You say with a quiet and amused giggle as she throws herself onto you, hugging your waist. You run your fingers over the pretty braids weaved into her hair with a smile. "Papa did your hair?" The little girl nods excitedly.

"Well, you look very, very pretty." Another set of footsteps can be heard, this time softer. Fyodor rounds the corner with a smile, pulling you into a hug.

"Mm, my dear." He says, resting his head on you shoulder for a moment before pulling away, starting back towards the kitchen. He waves at d/n to follow him. "Come on, sweetheart, come help me finish dinner." She excitedly runs after her father, earning a soft and faint giggle from him.

Upon following the two of them into the kitchen, you can smell the beef stroganoff cooking, watching your daughter step up onto the little stool she dragged in next to Fyodor. They stand at the counter, Fyodor making sure she's nowhere near anything dangerous or hot. He gently pushes over a measuring cup filled with beef broth.

"Alright, Malyshka. Just pour this into the pan, and be very careful, alright?" He says softly, his voice gentle as he measures out the whipping cream. The beef broth can be heard being poured into the pan from the spot you're standing in, smiling at your husband and daughter making dinner together. Within a couple of seconds, Fyodor is handing d/n measurements of other ingredients, such as Worcestershire sauce and dijon mustard. He lets her stir it all in, guiding her whenever he sees fit.

"Alright, we're all done. Here, why don't you go sit down, I'll bring you and P/t your dinners, yeah?" He smiles at the young girl, rubbing her back before patting it. She nods and skitters off to join you at the dinner table. She blabbers on to you about everything she did that day, even running off to bring proof of her activities.

She comes back out, proudly showing off a coloring page filled with scribbles in numerous different hues. One of them was only slightly better than the other, the lesser messy one was labeled with Fyodor's name in his sloppy handwriting to match the coloring. You grinned at both of them, taking the thin sheets of paper and studying them intently.

"Wow, they're both wonderful!" Your daughter wears a proud smile at the praise from you, excitedly placing her hands on her hips. "Are ya gonna hang them up on the fridge?" You nod and ruffle her hair a bit, just in time for Fyodor to bring the food in for all three of you. He sets the plates down on the table, listening to the conversation still taking place between you and your daughter.

"Ofcourse I will, I love them both very much." Your daughter smiles, blowing on the small piece of meat impaled by her fork. "Maybe me and papa can have a coloring contest, you can be the judge!" She says to you excitedly. Fyodor smiles. "How about another night, Malyshka? It's getting close to your bedtime." He says, continuing eating his food. "Aw, but papa-" she sadly whines, Fyodor shaking his head. "No 'but''s, d/n. We can tomorrow night though, I promise." Fyodor smiles at her while she extends her outstretched pinky to her dad.

"Pinky promise?" She quietly mumbles. He grins and interlocks his pinky with hers, reaching across the table to do so. "I promise. You know i never break my promises, Malyshka." She smiles and nods in agreement. "Yeah, right. Tomorrow night then!" She says with a grin.

"Tomorrow night. Alright, d/n, time to go get ready for bed. Go put on pajamas and we'll come say goodnight in five minutes." You say to the small girl with a smile. She nods in compliance and quickly walks back to her room to change into sleep clothing. You look over at Fyodor, who is already looking back at you with a loving gaze.

"Ah, I forgot to apologize for the late dinner earlier, dear. I was quite busy being dressed up in tiaras and what not." Your heart warms at the thought of your husband bonding with your daughter. "It's alright, don't worry about it." You gently caress his shoulders before taking all the plates away from the dining table, washing them in the kitchen and sticking them in the dishwasher. Placing your hands on your hips, you nod in approval of your quick work. Fyodor waits for you in the doorway, nodding in the direction of d/n's room with a gentle smile.

You both approach the room, knocking to make sure she was finished getting ready for bed before you both entered. You said goodnight to her and kissed her cheek while Fyodor said goodnight and kissed her forehead. Before Fyodor could stand straight up again, d/n giggled and whispered to him.

"I'm gonna beat you tomorrow, so prepare yourself, papa. It's gonna be the best coloring you've ever seen!" She proudly claims, clearly confident in her coloring skills. Fyodor chuckles. "I believe it whole heartedly. Get some sleep, or you may wake up without that skill." He says, making sure she's 100% tucked in. She nods in understanding and snuggles into her blanket.

"Goodnight, Malyshka." Fyodor whispers, gently pulling her door closed a bit, leaving a crack between the door and the frame.

A/N (#2); I'm super sorry if any mistakes were made, I didn't proofread because I'm suuuuper tired lol, but I just wanna put it out there that I am absolutely willing to do more dad!Fyodor. Dad!Fyodor and soft!Fyodor literally give me life u don't even get it (recipe I referenced was from Natasha Kitchen)

#fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #kid fic #headcannons #headcanon #bsd fanfic #requests #dad!fyodor

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boydepartment · 1 year

Text

I'm sorry, I'm late- Hwang Hyunjin (oneshot version)

Description: Y/n is a student teacher in a small town in France. Hwang Hyunjin is an idol who decided to run away after trouble started to arise again. He finds himself in the class where she helps, quickly they peaked each other’s interests. Both of them ran from something and it landed them in this small town in the middle of practically nowhere. One thing they both know is that the past always catches up and it is only a matter of time, so they better make the most of it.

Warnings: cursing, maybe a touch of dark subjects. There is French in this story, I am currently studying the language and I am not an expert. If you happen to speak the language and notice a mistake, please tell me! I am happy to learn and correct myself!

a/n- this is a really old story i wrote a few months ago, and i still think about it, so i decided to compile all the chapters into one whole story. i always reread this story too IDK i cleaned it up a little too

wc- 25k ? MASTERLIST

Chapter 1: His eyes

You sat up slowly, feeling the sun through your thin curtains. Your body felt refreshed, oddly enough. Looking over at the clock on your wall you hopped up.

You were late to class! You ran to the wardrobe to get a quick outfit. Throwing on some old clothes the ever so kind old lady, Gram, across the street gave you when you first moved here as a housewarming present. She also made you her special pasta, the thought made your mouth water, but you didn’t have time to relish that thought. You rushed to your bathroom washing up to look presentable enough to be running around a classroom helping the teacher. You grabbed your flats which were by the door and threw your book bag over your shoulder. Feet out you started running down the worn old street.

“Morning Y/n!” One of your neighbors yelled from across the way. You mustered a morning as you kept running. You could not be late! That would look unprofessional! You started to see the town in the distance and took a second to breathe. What time was it now? You dug through your bag and found the watch you bought from the general store. 7:45am.

Alright! Finally slipping your flats on you took note to remind yourself to take a bath when you got home, especially since you ran barefoot all that way. You started to run again down the hill not noticing the person at the bottom. You ran straight into him, your bag swinging around you.

“DÉSOLÉ! JE SUIS EN RETARD! (Sorry, I am late)” You yelled and kept running. Normally you learned not to apologize much here, but you really rammed into him.

However, it was worth it! You got to the small classroom in the tiny-tiny school in time.

“Bonjour, Y/n. (good morning, Y/n)” Your higher up greeted you. You greeted him back with a nod and sat down in your desk which was sat by his. You were learning how to teach art here. Since the teacher was getting old and Mr. W noticed that you weren’t one of the young people to just leave the small French town after his semester class, he decided to take you under his wing. He would tell you how to thoroughly teach an art class, as well as help you with your French. For the most part a lot of people in town would cut you some slack, they pretty much picked up that you were young and at least trying to speak to them as much as you possibly could.

The classroom started to fill with young adults, it was the usual class, until someone who wasn’t ordinary showed up. It was the guy you rammed into at the end of the hill. The more you looked at him the more he stood out to you. His hair was chopped horribly, and his clothes had what you assumed to be the logos removed. You have read an abundance of true crime books in your youth so to say this man didn’t raise all the red flags would be a lie. He didn’t look like he would harm anyone though, that is what truly through you off about him. He looked like a scared ally dog.

Eventually you got tasked to clean up the brushes from last class, you quickly got up and went to the broken-down sink at the back of the room. You let them soak and you listened to the head teacher guide the class through the lesson. Soon that will be you leading the class, you couldn’t wait. Mr. W really knew how to captivate the learning starving artists, soon everyone was working as the record player near his desk started to play famous classical pieces. Your eyes drifted to the young man in the corner, once again catching your interests. You watched as he deliberately and carefully let the small delicate brush hit the thick paper. The sun hit him beautifully and you started to notice little details about him. Then he made eye contact with you, and you quickly went back to soaking and cleaning the brushes, you even went as far as cleaning various old materials used earlier on in the week.

As much as you tried to get your mind off him, you couldn’t. Huffing you grabbed a stool and sat next to him. He looked at you with a terrified look, he looked as if you caught him sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar before dinner.

“You’re new here, I ran into you…” You mumbled and kept looking at him, he looked down quickly at his work.

“I- yeah. It’s okay…” The young man went back to his painting.

“Do you speak French?” You watched his line work again; his eyes watched the brush intently.

“Very little, I have visited Paris many times, but I don’t stay long.”

You let out a small huff of a laugh, “Paris is quite far from here.” This caught his attention and he looked at you.

“Good.” He said softly then turned back. You two have been talking in a soft tone due to people around you trying to focus.

You decided to keep talking, “did you just move here? I haven’t seen you around.”

“Yes, a couple weeks ago. I was at the Inn until I moved into the neighborhood above the hill.” He dipped his brush in the paint again and kept the steady hold.

“You live in the same neighborhood as me.” You said, “you’re also mainly a landscape artist.”

The man looked stunned, and he dropped the brush, “how can you tell?”

“The way your lines are deliberate, you’re calculating in your head instead of feeling out the page and medium emotionally.” You said and made eye contact with him; he was a total mystery to you. After living in this town a couple of years, you learned about almost everyone. The town only sometimes got any new visitors until this guy just showed up.

“You can pick up on that?” The man spoke softly, he seemed to walk on eggshells around you. Did you hurt his feelings? There was nothing wrong with deliberate and calculated lines.

“Yes, mainly because I wish I could do that in my art.”

He picked up the brush again and dabbed it on the paper, “what mediums and styles do you work in?”

“Portrait and abstract. For portrait I work in charcoal and watercolor, for abstract I work in all different types of stuff I can get my hands on.” You spoke softly. When a ghost of a smile graced his features, you almost felt your heart stop and you didn’t know why.

“I hate working in charcoal and abstract.” His eyes followed his brush strokes again.

“Which house do you live in?” You asked him.

He smiled again, “you ask a lot of questions.”

“We haven’t had someone new actually move in since I moved in.” You quickly answered back.

The man acknowledged your statement, “the one with the dead rosebush in the front.”

“It’s not dead forever!” You said rather defensively, mainly because you live right next to this house which you thought was vacant still, “it just needs some help.”

“Ah so you know the house I live in?” He picked up a thicker brush.

“Yes, you’re my neighbor. It is a small neighborhood in a small town. Also why is-“ you were going to ask him about his hair when Mr. W called you by his desk. You excused yourself and walked over. He ended up tasking you to clean up the chalkboard, something about his arm hurting him. If you translated that correctly.

As you cleaned up the old-fashioned school board you felt eyes on you, you knew they were the mysterious stranger’s.

Well, your mysterious neighbor.

After the class was dismissed, you helped clean up for the day and Mr. W excused you. When you grabbed your bag and walked out of the classroom you saw the mysterious stranger again. He saw you and you noticed he got nervous again.

This guy was very odd.

You approached him, “you can go home now.”

“You wanted to ask me something though.” He said and you two walked out of the school building. You looked up at him trying to remember what on Earth you were going to ask him earlier. You pouted a bit trying to remember.

“If you don’t remember then I live next door.” The man said, he went to turn to the direction of the neighborhood, and you stopped him again.

“Wait, what’s your name?” You had grabbed onto his sleeve. His lean figure whipped around.

“Hwang Hyunjin.” Part of his expression told you he was nervous to say this, but still answered you.

“Can I give you a nickname to help me remember?” There was no way you wanted to forget his name let alone accidentally pronounce it wrong. Between speaking English and now heavily studying French, sometimes your pronunciations could get a little wonky.

You saw him smile warmly at you, “Sometimes people would call me Jinnie.”

Jinnie… How cute.

You nodded and repeated it then introduced yourself, “I am Y/n. Y/n L/n.” You put your paint-stained hand out for him to shake. He gladly took your hand and shook it. His hand was quite larger than yours and the next thing you knew he turned away and waved. You stood there dumbfounded, this man, Jinnie, was odd. But he was interesting and young like you. Part of you felt like you had to help him, no one really helped you when you moved to town. You didn’t want this man to go through that too. You made up your mind, you would show up at his door tomorrow and walk to school with him.

Your feet made their way to the heart of the small town, you greeted the locals, they were now kind to you and warm. You belonged here now to them. It was a foreign feeling, being a part of a community that was kind to you. Walking into the bookstore where you help part time you were greeted by your coworker.

“Ah… Vous n'avez qu'à balayer le plancher. (I need you to sweep the floor)” She didn’t always give you tasks like this, most of the time it was restocking shelves or working the counter. However, you didn’t mind sweeping the floor. You nodded and went to the back room to retrieve the broom and dustpan. Everything was older and you thrived in this environment. You could be doing nothing at all, or cleaning, and you are happy. You loved it here. Maybe you romanticized a little too much though. The thought made you smile to yourself. After your sweeping your boss had you tidy up some shelves.

“Um, Y/n!” She peeked her head in from one of the shelves, “A demain(see you tomorrow)??”

“Oui. (yes)” You said simply, you planned on popping in tomorrow after school anyways, if she wanted you to help out too, you would gladly do so. You saw her smile at you then nod, walking off to other tasks. Once you were done you said your goodbyes and started to walk back home. Your little neighborhood wasn’t far from the town. Part of you felt excitement bubble up in you, remembering your new neighbor.

When you walked up the hill it was already nighttime, you honestly think you should start carrying a walking stick especially because it was a pretty empty field surrounding the small jumble of brick homes. The trees didn’t start until the back of the neighborhood. You never went that way though. Whenever you walked into the beaten path you found yourself once again becoming happy, seeing someone new here really greatened your appreciation for this town. You wondered if Jinnie had the same appreciation as you.

You unlocked your small house which you would be lying if you said it wasn’t some little cottage. You decorated it the past two years like that on purpose. Kicking off your flats you remembered how dirty your feet were. Letting out a small laugh, you walked towards the bathroom and drew yourself a bath. As you waited for the water to fill, you made yourself some tea. It was dark out now and you felt it would be a great way to end your night. As you washed your hands in the sink, you had a perfect view of your neighbor’s living room. You didn’t want to be creepy, so you closed the curtains, but not before taking note of how peaceful he looked reading a book that clearly enthralled him. Your heart pounded and next thing you heard was the kettle whistling. Quickly shaken out of your thoughts you waited to pour yourself a cup and head back to the bathroom.

Slipping into your nightgown which was yet another gift from your birthday last year from the kind lady across the way. She wanted to always repay you for bringing her your homemade pumpkin bread once every other week. She was your first friend here. You went under your covers and made sure your alarm clock was on this time. You had to get up a little early anyways, you wanted to walk with Jinnie to school.

~+~

Shockingly, your alarm did wake you up. Excitedly you hurried to get ready, your feet pitter pattered to the wardrobe. You grabbed a dress and another sweater; you were always one for layering even if summer was quickly coming. That means you would have another year of student-teaching experience under your belt. It also meant you would spend more time at the bookstore soon, which made excitement bubble in your stomach. You walked to the bathroom and once again got washed up for the day. Teeth, hair, the homemade lip balm you made yourself, all done!

You slipped your socks and boots on, today felt like a boots day. The breakfast menu was some fruit and toast, you really had to pick up more food soon at the market. Maybe you would go in a couple days on Sunday, the town always had merchants come in and it was outdoor. You nodded to yourself and finished eating. Grabbing your bag you headed to the neighbor’s home, the one with the sad rosebush.

To say you were a little nervous would be a lie, you weren’t used to being the one to almost chase after someone, but Jinnie intrigued you. You knocked a couple times and he answered, seemingly already dressed.

“Good morning, Y/n.” His voice was soft. Jinnie’s eyes looked tired.

“Good morning Jinnie, do you want to walk with me to the school?” You really hoped he would say yes, he could be the only friend you have that was actually your age. Jinnie smiled down at you.

“I would love to actually, let me grab my things.” He went to shut the door but then opened it, “you can come in.”

You took up his offer and decided to look around the house, it had been vacant since you had moved in. But it surely didn’t look like it got worn over time. You saw how he had already had stuff hung up, his art which looked recent, there was no sign of dust stains.

“I have been painting a lot since I moved here.” He said now next to you, you nodded slowly.

“I see most of them are of the town.” You noted, you recognized the general store and the fountain in the middle of town.

Jinnie hummed, “I used to paint flowers a lot, sometimes people or still lifes. But after moving here I have been inspired by the architecture.”

You finally got a look at his clothes, “you are wearing normal clothes today. No torn off logos.”

His brows furrowed, “you take note of everything don’t you? Our neighbor across the street gave me these. Said I was her old husband’s size.”

“She did the same for me too.” You smiled at the memory, “if you want to thank her, I bake her bread once every other week. You can join me.”

His eyes, which were once tired, lit up, “I love bread.”

“We will have to make extra then.”

After you talked about the pumpkin bread recipe you two started your walk to the school, the sun now just rising over the town.

“It is hard to not romanticize this town.” He suddenly spoke, “although the people here sometimes act like they hate me.”

You let out a small huff of a laugh, “they do that to newcomers, if you want, I can help teach you some basic phrases. It will help them warm up to you more.”

“You would do that?” Jinnie asked you, the cool spring breeze brushing through his hair.

“Yes, in exchange that you help me with landscape art.” You said and put your hand out again, to shake on it.

“Deal.” This time he actually grinned and shook your hand. You saw his toothy grin for the first time that morning. This man was dangerously charming.

You really couldn’t help the small glances you two would exchange during class, the small smiles, everything. He was an instant click for you. However, you didn’t let him distract you from your work, Mr. W would kill you if he found out you were getting distracted by some random boy. You started to study the art history books Mr. W assigned for you to take notes on, he always said if you wanted to teach a subject you had to know the history behind it. Your favorite artists were all landscape-based artists, mainly because you couldn’t do it. Your art was either the small details of people’s faces, or complete disordered abstract. Your mind once again wandered to Jinnie who was now cleaning his brushes, his art study on the town that was hung up by the door of his home was almost perfect in a way. You wondered how Jinnie himself just did that.

After the class, you picked up your history books and thanked Mr. W. Since it was Friday you wouldn’t see him until Monday, unless he called your landline asking you to come in. When you walked out you saw Jinnie waiting there for you once more.

“Mr. W really knows how to capture the attention of students.” Jinnie spoke and held the door open for you. You walked out and waited for him this time.

“I am very thankful to be able to learn from him, he wants me to take his teaching position when he is ready to retire.” Your bag swung a bit when you flipped around to face him.

“You are very welcoming; I am sure you will be a good teacher.” Jinnie said, you two walked down the dirt path, almost to where the crossroad was.

“Thank you,” you smiled at him, “I have to go to work… Which is in town…” You weren’t very good at goodbyes or see you laters.

“I can bring you dinner tonight if you want, I mean you are helping me out with getting settled here. It’s the least I can do.” You two now stood at the crossroads.

“I get home sort of late… Tomorrow though would be better, since I work in the morning and will be done by the afternoon.” You offered, you were curious to how good his cooking is, and you would never pass up on a free meal.

“Alright, Saturday evening, I will cook and bring over the plates.” He nodded to himself. Before you were about to say goodbye he already flipped around and waved to walk home.

Jinnie was certainly a person you wanted to figure out, you even found the urge to try and paint him in your sketchbook. That urge hasn’t happened to you since high school.

While doing your chores in the little bookstore you saw some tourists, it seemed like your little town was gaining traction and that made you nervous. You liked how it was a small place to live, under the radar. This sort of put a damper on your mood, it had you overthinking.

It kept you over thinking into the next day as well, especially because that Saturday morning more tourists came by, and it scared you. You didn’t want people here, you realized while sweeping you had no right to say that. You were once a foreigner here too. Sighing, you kept mopping the same spot over and over.

“I think it’s clean.” Someone spoke softly behind you, you turned around to see your other shop owner’s daughter, she was your second friend in town. She got you a job here with her mom in exchange of you tutoring her in English.

“I-I’m sorry. There is just a lot on my mind…” You mumbled; she turned her head in confusion.

“The recent abundance of tourists or that handsome man every girl in town is raving about?” She had a wicked grin on her face, “there are whispers about him living in the same neighborhood as you.”

You set the mop to the side, “it’s just the tourists, you know that makes me nervous and there seems to be more of them.”

She nodded, “you can head home early if you want, I need to make some extra money some of the girls in town want to make the handsome man cookies this weekend and I need to buy powdered sugar tomorrow at the market for the finishing touch.”

You thanked her and started to pack up, before you left you turned around, “oh by the way, his name is Jinnie.” You winked at her and walked out. The shop owner’s daughter felt like your sibling, although she wasn’t around often due to her schooling in the next town over. The time you spent with her you cherished. You took a deep breath then smiled to yourself, you had something to look forward to tonight and that was dinner with ‘the handsome man.’ You thought it was so cute that the girls were gossiping about him.

To thank Jinnie you stopped by the general store and picked up some flowers, that weren’t dead like the ones in his front yard.

“Y/n!” You flipped around and saw your other neighbor, the kind old lady, Gram. You grinned at her; you had already paid for the flowers, so you went over to her.

“How are you, Gram?” It was nice to see her out and about.

“Well, I made friends with your next-door neighbor, Hyunjin.” She said and put stuff in her basket. You decided to walk with her and help her with her shopping.

“Did you?” You asked and got something from the shelf she pointed to. Gram let out a small hum.

“Yes, and I found out stuff about him for you.” She spoke slyly.

You laughed a tiny bit, “oh really?”

Gram let out a huff and nodded, “yes, he is a few months older than you. He traveled a lot, and he used to sing.”

“That’s new information to me.” You mumbled to yourself.

“I can’t hear you when you mumble.” Gram said back.

You apologized quickly and repeated yourself again.

“There is a lot of things I feel you two could learn from each other.”

Your brows furrowed and pondered what she could mean by that. It was quite an odd thing to say but then again, she was odd herself. You helped your neighbor with the rest of her groceries and walked her back home.

“Oh, tomorrow, Gram, I am going to the morning market, I will make pumpkin bread for you tomorrow as well, all fresh ingredients.” You said as you helped unpack her groceries in her kitchen. It was filled with old photos of her family; she also had a little collection of porcelain bunnies.

“I am so excited for that dear.” Gram spoke from her chair in the living room. You finished up and walked in her very floral living space.

“Is there anything else you need?” You asked.

“Tell Hyunjin to bring me back my recipe when he’s done with it.” Gram then waved you off.

He borrowed a recipe?

You walked across the street to your humble abode and started to get ready for dinner with Jinnie. You set the red roses down on the table then started to your bathroom. You took a quick sponge bath and tried your best to look presentable. You had thrown out all your makeup a few months after you moved here, and you didn’t want to check the chest at the foot of your bed which was locked up with your old stuff for a reason. Out of sight out of mind. You dug in your wardrobe and saw a nice floral dress and slipped it on. Tying the back you smiled, Gram had a very good fashion sense in her youth. You rummaged through the little box of sewing supplies she gave you and found ribbons, you tied your hair with them. If he was making dinner you had to look presentable. Skipping to the kitchen you dug around your cabinets; you had wine somewhere around here. It was a housewarming present from the man who sold you this home. It had to still be okay… right? You never opened it. As you were rummaging there was a knock on the door, startled you hit your head on the top of the cabinet.

“Ow…” You mumbled and wobbled up to the door. When you opened you saw Jinnie standing there with a basket in his hands, he must’ve gotten dressed up as well. He looked astronomical even with his choppy messed up hair.

“Can I come in?” He spoke, a smile gracing his features.

You stepped out of the way and let him in, “do you like red wine? I am pretty sure I have a bottle here. Somewhere.” You mumbled and he followed you into the kitchen.

“I could use a glass.” He set the basket down by the flowers. You had already resumed crouching by the cabinet, next thing you knew he was next to you helping you search.

“Oh, the flowers on the table are for you. Figured you’d want something alive.” Chuckling at your own joke you moved the olive oil.

“There it is.” Jinnie said while laughing slightly with you. He grabbed the bottle and set it on the counter, then put his hand out to help you up. You gladly took it and his soft hands held yours, then quickly let go when you were situated. Much to your dismay.

“I do love the roses; they are my favorite actually.”

The corners of your mouth curved, “we will have to nurse the bush in your yard then.”

“That we will.” He walked to the table, and you grabbed your glasses and the wine. Meeting him at the table you saw that he made pasta.

“Gram said you really liked her pasta, so I tried my best.” Jinnie said and set the table.

“I love her pasta; she made it for me when I first moved here.” You were quite surprised that he did this. You set the glasses down and poured the wine.

“So, she said.” Jinnie motioned for you to take a seat and you did, he quickly followed. You saw he was waiting for you to take a bite. When you did you swore you could cry. It tasted so good, it wasn’t quite like Gram’s however, it was still so amazing to your taste buds.

“You really- wow.” You wiped your mouth with a napkin, “this is really good.”

Jinnie grinned and took a sip of his wine, “I am so relieved, I was a little worried.”

“You shouldn’t be, this is amazing Jinnie thank you.” You took another bite then washed it down with a small sip of wine.

Jinnie started to eat his food and he looked surprised, “you weren’t just lying to make me feel better, wow.”

Him being surprised by his own cooking made you laugh, hard. He looked up at you and started to laugh.

“I thought you were just lying to be nice. Honestly.” Jinnie spoke between giggles. You kept giggling.

“Tomorrow I am going to make that pumpkin bread for Gram, I just have to go to the market in the morning.” You said and took another bite of this amazing recipe.

“May I join you? I heard the guy at the general store talk about the Sunday markets.” Jinnie asked. You nodded.

“Of course, you can come with me, I’d love that.”

The way he was so charming and thoughtful really had you entranced. Jinnie was still a mystery to you and maybe that is what made you attracted to him. Or maybe the fact he has been the only guy around your age staying in this town longer than a semester. You didn’t know, but you weren’t complaining.

Chapter 2: His laugh

“Good morning Jinnie!” You grinned as you swung open your door, the morning breeze already rushing at you.

“Good morning, Y/n. I haven’t seen you in forever.” He joked as you locked up your home, you smiled remembering the previous night. Your dinner with him. Before he had left, you helped him clean his plates and you two pretty much finished half of the wine.

You two walked down the path to town, you really liked getting to walk with him. He started to open up and talk to you little by little. You think he realized he was in the same position as you, you were the only person near his age.

“Gram said you told her you can sing, I forgot to ask you about that last night.” You said and he almost dropped his basket.

“Gram told you?” He chuckled, you two were now at the top of the hill.

“She did, I would like to hear you sing.” You said and looked at him, the sunrise warming both your bodies.

“Maybe, I prefer dancing though.” Jinnie said and turned to you.

“Dancing, singing, what else can you do?” You asked, Gram was right, he was something.

Jinnie smiled to himself, as if remembering something, “well, I can speak Korean too, some Japanese, uhhh…”

Your jaw was on the path, “and now you want to pick up French? That is very impressive.”

“Korean was my first language,” Jinnie spoke softly, the tired features washed on his face again.

“Can you show me your dancing one time?” You asked, wanting to change the subject. Jinnie once again smiled.

“I would love to.”

You two arrived at the Sunday morning market not much later then that conversation. The heart of the town was bustling, you recognized the tourists again. You looked down and then up at Jinnie when he tugged the sleeve of your sweater.

“What do we need to pick up?”

Some of the ingredients you already had at home, “we just need eggs, pumpkin puree, and cinnamon butter.” You said to him as he leaned down so he could hear you. He nodded and led you to the dairy stand. When the guy asked him what he wanted in French he started panicking and looked to you. You cleared your throat.

“Je voudrais cinq œufs, sil vous plait. (I would like five eggs please)” You said to the man, he nodded and handed you the five eggs carefully. You softly set them in Jinnie’s basket and paid for them.

“Merci! (Thank you)” You said to the merchant and continued on your way.

“Thank you.” Jinnie said down to you. You smiled up at him.

“This will be your first lesson, okay?” You grabbed him and pulled him to a bench. He sat down and you sat next to him.

“Okay I am ready.” Jinnie said, his hands still gripping the basket.

“When you ask for something, you say, ‘Je voudrais’ that directly translates to, ‘I would like.’” You explain to him, he repeated it back to you and you helped with pronunciation.

“Then right after you say what you’d like, you then end it with ‘sil vous plait’ which means ‘please.’” Once again, he repeated it back to you, you smiled.

“If you want you can even say, ‘merci,’ which is, ‘thank you.’” You further explained, “if you’re REALLY thankful, you can say, ‘merci beaucoup.’” He nodded and took note of your mini lesson.

Standing up you put your hand out instinctively, he grabbed it, and you led him to the next stand, this one had fruits. This is good practice. Plus, you wanted an orange to snack on. You led Jinnie up to the stand and he looked a little nervous. You told him how to ask for two oranges. When the guy asked him what he wants, he gulped and then spoke.

“Je voudrais…” He looked down at you, you looked up at him and squeezed his hand, “deux oranges, sil vous… plait.”

You grinned at him, you handed the man the required money and you two got your oranges.

“Jinnie that was amazing I am so proud of you.” You shook his arm that didn’t have the basket in it, in celebration.

“My pronunciation was… okay?” He looked down at you, you nodded.

“You did really well. The guy didn’t even look annoyed at you!” You giggled then continued to drag him around with you to get the other ingredients.

When you two were about to leave someone called his name, he whipped around and saw a group of five girls run up to him. You recognized one of them, it was your boss’s daughter.

“We wanted to make these for you!” One of the girls said, another girl handed him a bundle of what you assumed were the cookies. He smiled awkwardly at them.

“Ah… Merci… beaucoup!” He looked at you and you gave him a thumbs up. The group of girls started to giggle before practically running away. You heard whispers of, bel homme, and il est tres gentil. It made you laugh a bit and you two started your walk home.

“What were they saying as they were walking away?” Jinnie asked you as you opened your front gate for him. You started to laugh as you dug in your pockets for your keys.

“They were saying you were beautiful and very kind.” You saw his shocked expression and then you turned to open your door to your home.

Walking in, he set the basket down on the counter, and his gift on the table.

“Well, that was very…” He looked at you.

“Gentille.” You finished for him. Jinnie nodded and giggled then repeated what you said.

“Gentille of them.”

You started to unload the groceries, leaving the ingredients for the pumpkin bread out. You saw at the bottom of his basket he had Gram’s recipe at the bottom. You smiled to yourself.

“What can I help with?” Jinnie asked breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Could you get the bowls and stuff please?” You asked him, he nodded and started on his first task. He retrieved them in no time and soon you two were baking.

“JINNIE, CAN YOU GRAB THIS?” You wobbled your way from the back pantry where all the flours and sugars were, he quickly rushed over and grabbed the flour too, helping guide you to the kitchen.

“Okay we did it!” Jinnie said and wiped his face. You started to laugh, and he looked at you with a confused look.

“You have pumpkin puree on your face.” You reached up and wiped it off his forehead, still giggling at him.

Jinnie looked away from you, a smile on his face.

“Can you preheat the oven?” You asked as you started to mix all your ingredients. He hopped to it instantly.

Once the bread was in the oven you two found yourselves looking over the bookshelf in your room, “you have a lot of good reads.”

“Thank you.” You sat down on your bed and watched him, “I needed books to keep myself occupied when I first moved here.”

“You don’t have a phone or a laptop?” He asked and turned around, holding a book of Monet’s work and history.

“I do, they are just locked away, if someone in town wants to contact me, they can just use the landline.” You said simply.

Jinnie looked up from the book and right at you, “in that chest by your bed?”

You nodded, you didn’t look up from the book you were reading, “mhm.”

“Can I ask why they are locked away?” You felt the bed shift, he sat by your sprawled out body.

“Can I ask how you found yourself here?” You sat up now looking at him with curious eyes.

Jinnie thought for a moment, “I ran away.” He looked away from you as if he was ashamed of himself. Your features quickly softened.

“It’s… It’s okay…” You spoke, just above a whisper.

Jinnie looked at you, “I was a coward. I am a-“

“I ran away too.” You said quickly, his eyes widened, “there was a lot going on for me back home, um it became too much so I packed everything and left.”

“Y/n, I understand that more than you know.” He said and grabbed your hand.

You looked up at him, “maybe one day me and you will go more into detail about why we ran.” You stood up still holding onto his hand, “but as for right now, we have pumpkin bread to deliver.”

~+~

“You know when I was a little girl, I used to have the most beautiful blond hair.” Gram said as she sliced the bread for you and Jinnie. She insisted you two have one piece even though it was your gift to her.

“Your hair is still beautiful, Gram.” Jinnie said to her.

Gram let out a quiet laugh, “Hyunjin you are too kind…” She plated the bread and poured some iced tea for you both, and for her. Then she sat down.

“Have you ever had Y/n’s pumpkin bread?” Gram asked Jinnie. He shook his head, “you’ll love it, I remember when she first made it for me.” Gram winked at you, and you smiled bashfully. Then you three dove in. Jinnie instantly complimented your baking. Gram told you this was your best batch yet.

“I had help this time so maybe that’s why.” You smiled at Jinnie.

Gram laughed, “you better help her more if this is how good the bread is going to be!” She joked. You and Jinnie helped clean the cups and plates and she led you two to her living room.

“I want to show you guys photos in my youth.” She sat you guys on the couch and then plopped herself in the middle of you two. Gram started to talk about how after some events, her and her husband decided to move into this little town to get away. Neither of them knew a lick of French but they learned together. You could tell Jinnie was absolutely enthralled with her romantic tale. His eyes lit up and he would ask her questions, she gladly answered. It made your heart warm; he was so effortlessly charming.

At some point she wanted to take her late afternoon nap, so she kicked you two out, Jinnie walked you to your door.

“Walk with me to school tomorrow?” He asked with hopefully eyes.

“I wouldn’t miss it Jinnie.” You spoke and stood at your doorway, the warm air in contrast to the breeze outside.

“I will pick you up this time.” He said, you nodded and before you could say goodbye, just as usual he flipped around and waved. You shut the door behind you. Giggling you rushed to the bathroom, it was time to take a bath and settle down for the day. You still had to study your art history too. Oh, Jinnie just made you so giddy!

~+~

The next morning you knew you overslept because you heard knocking on your bedroom window. You groaned and rubbed your eyes, when you saw his silhouette through your curtains you hopped up and ran through your house, your slippers making you slide. Quickly, you opened the door and waved him in. Jinnie’s warm smile woke you up more.

“Uh here if you didn’t have breakfast um make something, the pantry is yours!” You ran back to your room to get ready for the day. You threw on some old pants and a t-shirt. Your hair was a mess and part of you was a little embarrassed that Jinnie saw you like this. You threw on a straw hat and jacket, almost falling over you put on your boots.

“JINNIE IS MY BAG OUT THERE!?” You yelled from your room. You heard him quickly walk around.

“YES, I GOT IT!” He spoke back. You smiled and walked out, now ready to leave and walk to school with him. When you met him by the door, he handed you your bag.

“Thank you!” You smiled and next thing you knew you two were walking to the school.

“Oh, I woke up a little early this morning, so I made sandwiches for us, if you want to eat them with me after class.” Jinnie said and showed you the wrapped sandwiches in his bag, “I also took the two oranges from your fruit bowl.”

“I will look forward to it, I shouldn’t have work today so I would love to have lunch. Especially your cooking.” Your heart felt warm around him again.

Jinnie let out a soft hum of acknowledgement, “I want to thank you by the way.”

You looked to him as you two just walked made it at the top of the hill, “why’s that?”

“Welcoming me here, you could have just let me figure it out on my own, but you haven’t.” He spoke softly, “you are letting me depend on you.”

“Well, you still have to help me with my landscape art.” You nudged him, Jinnie giggled.

“I have that planned actually; I am trying to find a nice landscape for us.”

This sort of confused you, “you don’t want to paint the town?”

“I will always paint the town, however, let’s say you get frustrated, at least you’ll have a nice view to calm you down.” He explained, “my first day here when I was still at the inn, I painted the general store, or at least tried to, and I couldn’t get it right. Then someone walked by, and it was the most beautiful view I have ever seen.”

You felt a pang of something, your stomach did flips, who captured his eye?

“Did you ever get to see your view again?” You asked, Jinnie looked down at his feet, smiling to himself.

“Almost every day actually.”

That’s odd, “do you know their name?”

“Yes.” Jinnie giggled once more.

“Do I know them?” Yes, you were nosy, you couldn’t help it.

Jinnie let out another laugh, except this time he threw his head back then looked at you, “yes you know them.”

You started to ponder as you two walked up to the school, “wait what’s their name?”

“Y/n.” Jinnie opened the door for you, and you walked in, then spun around.

“Yes?” You asked and took off your hat, Jinnie smiled at you and tried to fix your messy hair.

“That’s their name.” He said simply and started to walk to the classroom. He left you dumbfounded in the middle of the hall. Once back to reality you started to run after him.

“HEY!”

During class Jinnie would make an effort to not pay any attention to you, especially after how flustered he made you right beforehand. It made a little spark inside you; you thought it was funny. The way you’d catch him staring and then he’d dramatically look away. It made you laugh to yourself while you studied your history books. Mr. W started to teach the class about August Friedrich Schenk. You tuned in a bit always being interested by the way there was always an overwhelming dread in the art August Friedrich produced. You struggled painting animals so maybe that’s also why the artist also intrigued you. After the lecture Mr. W assigned you to run some errands to the other teachers, things like reports, attendance, stuff like that. You quickly did as you were told and found yourself greeted by your soon to be coworkers. One of them didn’t have a class for another hour so you found yourself making small talk.

“Is Mr. W still being nice?” She asked and started to write her lesson plan on the board. She was the poetry teacher, Ms. Felicity.

“Yes, thankfully, it is really different from being an art student in his class.” You took a sip of tea that she offered you in a paper classroom cup, “he has always been nicer to me though. I am thankful for that. He really has taken me under his wing the past two years.”

“I’m glad, especially since you’ll be working here soon.” Ms. Felicity turned around and smiled at you.

“Do you live in the next town over?” You asked, suddenly curious. She nodded.

“It is quite the commute but it’s worth it.”

You nodded; you remembered the town over was very nice.

“You know. I wanted to be the art teacher, but here I am doing poetry.” She spoke softly.

You two continued to talk until it was time for you to head back to Mr. W. You found yourself happy that maybe you made a new friend. You seemed to be lucky in that department lately. Walking back into the classroom you saw that Mr. W was close to finishing his lesson. You sat at your little desk and waited for the class to be dismissed.

“Alright, you have your assignments for the next week, remember due March 13th. I will see you guys tomorrow.” The international students started to leave, Mr. W gave you more things to study for the upcoming week

“I am very proud of your progress lately, Y/n.” Mr. W said, you gleamed at the praise.

“Thank you so much, Mr. W!” You quickly picked up your notebooks and bag, packing up. Your teacher made small talk with you about the next assignments for the art students and then sent you off.

Once again you met Jinnie outside of the classroom, “hungry?” He asked. You smiled at him and placed your hat back on your head.

“Starved!”

~+~

“The school has poetry too?” Jinnie asked as you two sat in the grass still in short distance to the school. You were laying on your jacket and you suddenly sat up.

“Yes, did you not look at the classes?” You laughed and took another bite of the wonderful sandwich Jinnie made for you two.

“Well… While signing up I was in a bit of a rush.” He said and sipped his reusable water bottle.

You finished off your sandwich and laid back down, “makes sense how you just appeared out of nowhere.”

Jinnie laughed, “I really did huh?”

“Yes, shockingly. You just poofed.” You flipped on your stomach and looked up at him.

“Is that why you ask me so many questions?” Jinnie teased.

You nodded, “that is exactly why I ask you an abundance of questions. You pique my curiosity.”

“At least you don’t just see me for my looks.” He said quietly. Your brows furrowed and you could sense the sadness in his tone. It was a total 180. You wondered where it came from, especially where the statement itself came from. Yes, he was handsome, however did the people who he ran away from just see him as that?

“No, I see you for your cooking.” You wanted to lighten the mood, anything to get that smile back on his face.

Jinnie rolled his eyes and smiled down at you, “okay Y/n. I see how it is.”

“Alright! We both have homework to do!” You stood up and put your hand out. He took it and you helped him up, cleaning up your mini picnic you two went on your merry way.

“We definitely should plant pumpkins in July.” You said and skipped along with him.

“So, they’ll be ready for Halloween, right?” Jinnie asked, you hummed.

“Exactly! The town actually does a whole thing for Halloween. It is really cute, too many tourists though.” You said, noticing once more he was lost in thought.

“Hyunjin…?” You tested the waters of saying his actual name, this caught his attention instantly.

“Am I in trouble?” Poor guy looked and sounded terrified, you laughed slightly.

“Nono I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Jinnie nodded to himself, and he thanked you softly, “it’s just some weird stuff coming back to me again, I’ll be okay.” He reassured you.

“I understand what you mean, that happened to me on my first birthday here. I hung out with Gram the entire day.” You recalled the memory, “it was weird not being around anyone I knew.”

“My birthday is in two weeks.” He said suddenly.

Your eyes widened, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER!” You practically jumped on him; soft giggles escaped his lips.

“We’ve been busy it didn’t come up.”

You huffed as you two made it up the hill, “what day?”

Jinnie thought for a moment, his way of keeping you in suspense, “hmmm I don’t remember.”

“HYUNJIN!”

He looked offended that you used his actual name, “now I’m not going to tell you.”

“Jinni- “

“March 20th.”

You laughed at his suddenness, “okay good! We can plan something!” Jinnie looked at you, he looked a little unreadable.

“You don’t have to…” He mumbled bashfully, you two walked into your neighborhood.

“Well, I want to, I don’t want you to have the same sad birthday as me when I first moved here.” You were determined, “what kind of cake do you want?”

“May I request your pumpkin bread?” He asked hopefully. You grinned at him.

“Yes, you may!”

~+~

The past week you and Jinnie would continue this routine of walking together to school and if you didn’t have work, you or he would make lunch. At one point he brought you lunch at work; it made you feel special. You found yourself cherishing his attention. He was way different from everyone else you have ever met. Hyunjin’s personality was as bright as the reflection of the sun on the water, and you were basking in it. There was never much to do in this town, you didn’t mind. But now that Jinnie was here, you had lots to look forward to, your schedule didn’t seem as mundane.

Saturday night you two were having dinner at your home once more, this time he brought you flowers, and you were cooking. You had music playing from the old music player in your living room.

“What did Mr. W pull you aside for yesterday? I forgot to ask.” You said as you stirred the seasonings for the oven baked potatoes.

“You forgetting to ask something? Impossible.” Jinnie joked. You turned around and gave him the stink eye, he giggled.

“He wanted to look at my sketchbook, he said on Monday he wants me to bring in some of my work that’s on a canvas.”

You flipped around, “no way.” Jinnie gave you a look as if he didn’t know why you were surprised, “he’s scouting you!”

“Psh no.” He waved his hand then took a sip of the wine he brought for you both.

“Psh yes.” You said back and started to pour the seasoning on the potatoes. Once they were in the oven you sat down next to him at the table.

“Mr. W takes one student from the class and scouts them, then if he chooses you then you get a trip to Paris for a chance to display your work at a gallery.” You explained, “I got picked my first year here when I was a student, look.” You stood up and grabbed the picture frame that was on your side table in the living room. You stomped back over and showed him the photo.

“See look.” You shoved the picture frame in his hands, “I was really young and he really took me in. I owe him a lot.”

Jinnie smiled at your photo, you were holding what he presumed to be your artwork, you didn’t look much different, “your hair was shorter.”

“That’s what you’re taking from this? Jinnie!” You grabbed the frame from him again, but he didn’t want to let go.

“Wait I wanna look at you more.” Jinnie giggled, you sighed and let go of the frame. After a few minutes of him asking questions about your younger self he handed it back.

“You really think he’s scouting me?” Jinnie asked and poured more wine for himself and you.

“Absolutely! Whenever I walk by your station I may or may not peek at what you’re working on.”

Mr. W had to be scouting him, this is what your mentor does when he notices talent. Jinnie had that talent.

“You look at my work while I’m working!?” He dramatically waved his hands around and it made you giggle.

“I did when we first met, didn’t I?”

Jinnie thought for a moment then nodded, “okay you did but I let you.”

“And why did you exactly?”

“I told you; I think you’re pretty, beautiful, gorgeous even, the most beautiful view here. Why wouldn’t I give you the opportunity to be charmed by my work.” The wine must’ve started kicking in because he was getting bold.

You face heated up and you felt yourself scoffing, “you still have to teach me your methods. I am still holding you to that.”

“I hope you do.” Jinnie said and leaned back smiling. He talked more about his walks he would take when you were working, saying he finally did find the perfect spot to take you painting. You eventually pulled out the bake potatoes and set up your plates, you also fried vegetables. Plating the food, you set it down in front of him.

“This smells wonderful.” He smiled up at you. You smiled back warmly and sat in front of him, “can you teach me something?”

You picked up on him always wanting to learn something from you, “coffee grounds are bad for your drain… uhhhh…” You thought for a moment, “I don’t think Vincent Van Gogh killed himself.”

“Oh? Elaborate.” Jinnie loved listening to you, and you loved listening to him. Eventually you two finished eating and you found yourself digging under your bed for old artwork. He wanted to see your portrait work.

“Most of them I sold to tourists at the market when I first moved here. These are the leftovers.” You handed him the canvases and he looked at your art in awe. It ranged from big to small pieces, all capturing these people’s details. Their very soul on your canvas.

“These are beautiful…” He breathed; he traced the canvas with his finger extremely delicately. You looked down.

“You should’ve seen the ones that were sold, I didn’t want to let them go but I had to make money, and this was before my bookstore job.” You spoke sadly, he looked up at you.

“We will make more pieces like these together.” Jinnie then looked down and more at your other artwork. The thought made your soul happy; you went to dig more under your bed and found old sketchbooks, one labeled abstract and you handed it to him.

“These were from highschool, if they are a bit dark, I apologize, I don’t really like looking back at these much.” You handed it to him and ever so softly he took it and started flipping through the pages. You found yourself scooting next to him and looking at the worn pages with him. Your eyes went to his face, he looked concentrated as he read the words hidden in your work.

“You made these in highschool?” He whispered, you nodded.

“It wasn’t the best time in my life… Some decisions I made led me here though, so I guess part of me should be thankful.” You whispered back. The music from the living room still playing a bittersweet tune.

“I can relate, although my last year was when I sold myself.” He flipped the page; you were studying him while he studied your work.

You looked back at the sketchbook in front of him, one day you knew you would find out about him. Maybe that night was tonight, “can you tell me?”

Jinnie looked back at you softly setting the book down, he was so gentle with your work, “yeah… I can tell you. But you can’t tell anyone else otherwise I have to leave.”

“I promise.” You looked him in his eyes, you could drown in them. He stood up and led you to sit down next to him on your bed. You shifted so one leg was dangling off and the other was folded on the bed. He sat forward, hands together. He looked stressed.

“Jinnie you don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready.” Your hand found his way to his shoulder, and he looked at you.

“No, it… it’s okay, I want to tell you.”

You nodded and got ready to have your listening ears on.

“I used to live in Seoul, like Korea. I was very popular,” he looked away, “I was an idol, that’s why I can sing and dance. People really loved me, as much as I liked it, popularity comes with controversy. Almost every week something was wrong or something horrible was being said to me.” Jinnie took a deep breath and you grabbed his hand, he squeezed it and continued, “as much as I loved being in the spotlight and seeing the adoring eyes of people, I couldn’t take the constant pressure, getting in trouble for rumors someone else started, things I didn’t even do, I was tired, I was always scared of someone always watching me, so I ran the second I could. It is irresponsible of me, and I am sure the past month people have been freaking out, but maybe not, I don’t know, I wasn’t allowed to be active anyways when I left.”

Your hand squeezed his again, “I don’t think you’re a coward Jinnie, I just think you were burnt out and lost. That is okay and it doesn’t make you any less of who you are.”

He nodded, “thank you.”

“Anything for you.” You spoke wholeheartedly.

“Can you tell me why you ran?” He asked, you took a deep breath and nodded, Jinnie turned his whole body towards you, now he held both your hands in his large ones. He always wore the same rings.

“In high school, I didn’t have a lot of friends, so when I finally did make them, I was naïve. I really landed myself in the wrong crowd. I was young and stupid to think these people actually did care for me. One of them I thought I fell in love with,” you felt your eyes start to water, “I was wrong, it wasn’t love, my frontal lobe hadn’t even developed so how was I supposed to know that what was happening to me wasn’t love.”

A tear fell from your eye, and he caught it with his hand. You continued, “at some point it started getting really bad, I got really scared for my safety and my family’s safety so I ran. I never looked back.”

Jinnie held tightly onto your hands, “thank you for telling me.” His voice was calming, and you found yourself crashing into him, hugging him desperately. He cradled you in his arms and let you cry.

“It’s okay… Y/n let it out… I know…” His hand found its way to your head, and he played with your hair.

“I miss being home, but I know it’s safer for everyone that I left.” You said in between sobs. Hyunjin just held onto you tighter. “I know… I know exactly what that feels like.” Hyunjin kept wiping away your tears as they fell, at some point he let a few of his own tears fall.

Chapter 3: His Kindness & His Birthday

When you woke up the next morning you had a killer headache, when you stood up your head felt like someone took a bat and constantly smacked you.

“God…” You mumbled and walked toward your bathroom, you cleaned yourself up and started to recall what happened last night. When you walked out of your room you smelled food; good food, was Jinnie still here? You walked down your hallway quickly and saw him standing by the stove, he was cooking. Your curious eyes silently watched him as he stirred what you presumed to be scrambled eggs. He must’ve brought cooking ingredients over from his home. You watched as he swayed back and forth to the music he had playing on; he really could dance. It made you smile to yourself; he really could feel the music. It was impressive.

You didn’t want to embarrass him, so you walked back to your room and called his name.

“Jinnie!” You re-walked down the hallway.

“Cooking breakfast!” He called back, you walked into the kitchen, he turned around and grinned at you. The sun was peeking through the curtains, and he was illuminated beautifully, “good morning. Are you feeling okay?”

“I have a bit of a headache.” You said and looked at what he was cooking, you were right, scrambled eggs.

“Here, I’ll get you some water. Watch the eggs please.” He spun around and started getting you your glass. You hummed and watched the eggs; it was scarily domestic. Part of you didn’t mind, Jinnie is kind and you have never related to anyone as much as him.

Jinnie handed you a cold glass of water and took over the food again, “drink up, if needed we can run to a less secluded town for headache meds.”

“I think I might still have some in the cabinet in the bathroom…” You pondered and sipped the water. He started to plate the eggs and put jam on the toast.

“Where did you get all this food?” You asked, as you sat down on the table. He quickly put the food down and sat with you.

“I had some back at my house and then I picked up the jam this morning from the general store.” He said simply.

You nearly choked on your food, “you walked to town this morning?”

Jinnie nodded, “mhm, after our crying session last night we must’ve both passed out. You were still asleep when I woke up, so I wanted to make you breakfast.”

“That’s very kind of you.” You took a bite of your food and once again your tastebuds were delighted.

“I figured it would be nice after yesterday.” He spoke softly. Yeah, yesterday… You were hit with waves of memories. He ended up telling you why he ran, and you told him why you ran too. He was an idol… Like a celebrity?

“Do you have any questions? You have a cute funny look on your face.” Jinnie looked up at you.

“So you were-“ You didn’t even know how to ask.

Jinnie wiped his mouth of any crumbs, “an idol, performer, celebrity, whatever you want to call it.”

You nodded, “are you ever going to go back?” Part of you didn’t want him to. Your eyes just watched him as he shrugged and looked away from you.

“Not for a while…” He mumbled, then made eye contact with you, “so you’ll be bothered by me for a long time.” Jinnie smiled at you which you gladly returned to him.

“I look forward to it.”

~+~

The next week on his birthday you showed up at his home in the early morning, you were surprised that he was already up. Sometimes you noticed you had to grab the key under his mat and get him out of bed.

“Good morning, Y/n!” He said in a sing song voice, you noticed his basket was packed full of things.

“Good morning, Jinnie!” You grabbed the pumpkin bread from behind your back, “happy birthday!”

You saw his eyes light up and he grabbed the bread, smelling it. After, he set it down and pulled you in a hug, “thank you!”

When he pulled away, he put his hands on your shoulders, “you’re free today right?”

“Yes, I called off for your birthday.” You smiled brightly up at him.

Jinnie clasped his hands together, “perfect!” He quickly rushed to his basket and put the bread in, “we are going for a walk!”

“Right now?” You questioned.

“Yes!” He grabbed his basket and your hand, “we need to pick up your art supplies!”

After the pitstop at your home, you two went on your way.

“It’s your birthday I should be surprising you!” You walked and swayed your bag back and forth. He giggled and copied your actions.

“Well, this is how I want to spend my birthday.” Jinnie said, he led the way, walking in front of you. He would steal glances at you as you two walked.

“Where are we heading?” You were so curious as to where your mysterious neighbor, companion, friend, was leading you.

“You never fail to be so curious.” His voice was warm.

“Welllllllll!” You continuously swung your bag back and forth.

Jinnie turned around to look at you and turned his head, there was something in his eyes you couldn’t pinpoint, “do you trust me?” He asked.

You nodded your head, “yes I do.”

“Perfect.” He grabbed your hand and continued to lead you. You really tried not to get nervous, then your hand would become sweaty.

He started to lead you to the back side of the neighborhood, you decided to keep asking him questions.

“Is thiiiis… A nice place we’re going to?”

“Of course, it’s nice, I’m actually surprised that you haven’t been here.” He spoke.

You looked at him, “I don’t usually go this way. Can you still dance for me.”

Jinnie giggled, “yes Y/n.”

“Sing?”

“Yes, Y/n only for you.”

You started to swing your hands back and forth, you two were walking next to each other now.

“Okay we are getting close so close your eyes.” Jinnie said excitedly.

Your eyes closed and you couldn’t help but smile, you let him guide you deeper into the trees. Your feet almost betrayed you a couple of times, with the rock and loose dirt, but he caught you and just held onto you tighter. You felt his warm hands on your arms then they covered your eyes.

“No peeking.” He said, you let a giggle out.

“I’m not peeking!”

“Suuuure.” He teased.

In the next minute he took his hands off your face, “okay wait here.” You heard him giggling and shifting around.

“I have to get cushions down n stuff.” He explained, “keep your eyes closed!”

“I am! I am! I promise.” You covered your own eyes. You heard him shuffle around more until finally.

“Okay open!”

When you opened your eyes you were met with a beautiful scenic lake, and Jinnie was standing there with a ‘well?’ stance.

“I found this place a little while ago while getting lost to the town, total opposite direction. But it was worth it.” He jogged up to you, “plus it’s perfect to paint.”

You never really had someone be this thoughtful in years, let alone someone who wants to take care of you just because. It was hard to not get a little emotional.

“Wow…” You breathed.

“Perfect right?!” He grabbed your hand and sat you down on the cushion. He pulled out the canvases and paints.

“Just try to paint it, I want to see you do it. Not how I do it.” He said and sat down next to you. You nodded, still in awe about this whole thing. You took out your brushes and started to paint, this time you felt eyes on you. You weren’t watching him paint; he was observing you now.

“You’re making me nervous.” You spoke just above a whisper.

“You do this to me all the time.” Jinnie leaned closer to you, you could feel his breath on you.

“Does it make you nervous?” Your eyes kept going back and forth from the view to your canvas. You kept your stomach erupt in butterflies when he leaned even closer to you.

“Yeah, it does.” Jinnie said, “you’re doing great by the way, I don’t see why you need my help with this.” He continued to watch you paint in silence, you were about halfway done.

“Did you even need my help?” Jinnie teased.

You whipped your head over to him and bumped your face with his, he started giggling almost manically.

“What?” You questioned him, waving the paintbrush, you ended up splattering paint on him. Now both of you were laughing.

“You know what!” He grabbed a brush and started whipping paint at you too. You two started to battle with paintbrushes. The different color droplets started to spray everywhere.

“Ah! Jinnie!” You grabbed a glob of blue acrylic paint and whipped it at him, he retaliated by grabbing yellow paint. At some point you two were chasing after each other.

“Get back here!” Jinnie said, you turned around and saw he was right behind you. You yelped and started to run backwards right into the lake. Jinnie started laughing at you now that you were soaked. But when he skidded at the edge of the lake, he slipped on the mud. His body landed right next to yours with a splash. His head peaked out of the water, his hair everywhere. The water droplets mixing with the paint that stained his face. You didn’t know how he could look more beautiful.

“Look who’s laughing now.” You teased him. His large hand splashed water at you. You gasped and splashed water back at him. You both eventually stood up still splashing water at each other. You started to try and wade away from him, still laughing. You made it out of the water and kept running.

“Y/nnnnn!” He whined, you turned around and taunted him. You closed your eyes and stuck your tongue out. Before you knew it, he was dragging you back into the lake. You were yelping and laughing.

“Jiiiinniee!”

SPLASH

When you opened your eyes, you saw he was right on top of you, “whoops I fell in too.”

“You schmo!” You laughed, closing your eyes again, and tilted your head back, letting the lake soak your hair.

“Schmo?!” He grabbed your shoulders and lightly shook you, your giggles escaping you. When you opened your eyes again your hair was partially blocking your view. But once again you were met with his eyes staring back at you with that far off look he had earlier. Jinnie smiled at you like you were a warm cup of coffee on the coldest day of the year. His hand, still dripping with the lake water brushed your hair out of your eyes.

“Tu es belle (beautiful girl).” Jinnie whispered under his breath.

“Where did you learn that?” You whispered back, his hand cupped your cheek.

“Picked up stuff from Gram.” His eyes never left yours, “she wanted me to know how to compliment you, to woo you per say… I intend to do so. Is it working?”

“Oui.” You grinned at him and tilted your head back again, partially because you didn’t want him to see your flustered face. Your face burned when you felt his soft lips touch your cheek; your breath hitched, and you looked up at him.

“Was that too much?” He asked his voice wavering slightly, one of his hands still held onto your waist and to the side of your face.

“It wasn’t enough.” You put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him. He jumped a bit before quickly melting into your touch.

~+~

“I think that this piece is better than any of my landscapes.”

You looked at the painting you created which was now hung on his wall, “you helped create it.”

“The paint splatters really do add to the landscape, don’t they?” Jinnie placed his hands on your waist, “definitely my favorite birthday present, this year.”

“I’m glad this birthday was good for you.” You grinned up at him and tackled him into a hug. He started laughing.

“You made it better.” He kissed your forehead.

“Walk with me to school tomorrow?” You questioned.

“Mmmm I’d have to check my schedule… I think I only have a rose bush to nurture with a gorgeous girl in the afternoon… Yeah, I can fit you in for a walk in the morning.”

~+~

The next few weeks were peaceful, you and Jinnie’s routine became a part of your lives. He started to sleep over often, and you would sleep over at his home frequently as well. Your favorite thing to do with him was cook, sometimes he would sway with you while the pasta boiled. He would softly spin you while the bread needed to rise. Jinnie was a dream come true in your world. Your heart never felt so safe with anyone before. Life was simple and you two cherished that. The way he would look at you with love and adoration in his eyes is something you will always cherish.

Now you were painting in the living room of his home, he was picking up groceries so you two could bake together for Gram. You bit the end of the wood on your paintbrush, a sick habit you have developed over time. One Jinnie would giggle at.

“My intended I’m home!” He called from the door, you quickly hopped up and followed his voice. There he was in all his glory, with his basket overflowing with groceries. You grinned and practically jumped in his arms. Jinnie yelped and then returned your giggles.

“Miss me?”

“Always.” You pulled away and led him to his kitchen. You helped him put away groceries and started to set up for the now weekly bread. Gram was very happy about this.

“Oh, I also picked something up from the back of the market.” Jinnie sprung up and walked back outside, the way he sauntered always made you smile. He made you smile, especially when he came back from outside with this giant box.

“This guy at the back of the market was selling things, and I noticed on your bookshelf you have a lot of old golden spine books at the top of your shelf.” He spoke excitedly, you honestly forgot about those old children’s books at the top, your main priority now was the old art books. Jinnie set the box on the counter, “the guy I think said that he had no idea if it still works, but! Even if it doesn’t maybe you could take the cases and make a collage.”

You opened up the big box and saw a ton of old VHS tapes, with a player to watch them. You saw old films from the 90s that ranged from The Titanic to old Disney Princess movies. Your eyes lit up, before you left home you had an obsession with movies of any kind. Your obsession slowed down when you moved here.

“Jinnie what about a TV?” You looked up, questioning him.

He gave you a toothy grin, “when I first bought this house he mentioned a REALLY old TV in the attic. If it doesn’t work, we can just take a trip to the next town over.”

Once again, your eyes lit up, “Jinnie!” You hugged him again and he smiled into your neck.

“I figured it would be nice to watch movies other than art documentaries in class, not that I don’t love them.” He mumbled, still holding onto you as if you would disappear any minute, “I also picked something else up.” He pulled away from you and pulled something out of his pocket, it was a small gold necklace, with a rose adorned on the front.

“Jinnie…!” Your breath hitched.

He spun you around and placed the necklace on you, “he was also selling antique jewelry, he discounted it for me. It reminds me of the rosebush that’s now blooming outside of my house. All because of you.”

You turned around and hugged him tightly. Hwang Hyunjin was everything you wanted in a partner...

“You’re so thoughtful.” You pulled away from him, looking at him with stars, “we can set up the movie night tonight and thank you so much for the necklace! Now! Gram has some bread to be made!”

Jinnie nodded with the same dreamy look and you two started baking up a storm. Gram was very happy seeing you two spend so much time together. You noticed how overtime Jinnie really did pay so close attention to her stories. He loved them, especially the love stories. Part of him didn’t seem real to you. When you two parted ways from Gram she gave you and Jinnie a hug and you two walked back across the street.

“You seem to pay more attention to me than Gram now.” He teased, opening his door. You huffed as he let you in first.

“I can’t help it, you’re cute when you’re enthralled in something.” You spun around.

Jinnie chuckled, “I’ll set everything up, do you want to maaaaybe plate some fruit and bread for us pleaaaase.”

“Didn’t you just have my pumpkin bread at Grams?” Your eyes teased him. Jinnie whined and you quickly gave in. You skipped into the kitchen and started to make a snack, it was getting late and you assumed you were sleeping here so you sidetracked into his room. Looking around you found your set of pajamas that you kept at his home. Then you skipped back into the kitchen and finished plating your guy’s food. From the room you heard him curse slightly, you walked in and set the plates on the coffee table. Squatting by him you softly rubbed his back.

“Want tea too?”

Jinnie nodded, his brows furrowed. You could tell he was determined to make this movie night work. It was something you really loved about him; he would try. You were never used to men like this growing up. You happily started the kettle and made tea.

“MY DEAREST INTENDED!” He started running into the kitchen, “I did it! I did it!”

~+~

“Are you sure you want to go through the chest?” He asked as you knelt at the foot of your bed, you took a deep breath and nodded.

“I think it’s time, plus I might’ve stole a couple photo albums, you’ll get to see baby me.”

Jinnie grinned at this and you unlocked the big trunk, it was like how you left it two years ago, almost three. You had an old sweater, joggers, your backpack, laptop, phone, everything.

“Woah.” Jinnie said and started digging through the trunk of stuff. He was really looking for the small photo albums. You took out your phone and laptop, tossing them aside.

“I totally forgot I packed this.” You giggled as you picked up a copy of The Shining.

“Are you a Stephen King fan?” He mumbled, still looking for the photos of your past. You hummed.

“I was, then I read IT and got weirded out.”

You heard Jinnie laugh, then he pulled out something from your backpack, “a Taylor Swift CD?”

“I WAS LIKE 19!” You retorted; he started giggling more.

“I prefer Lana Del Rey, but I can enjoy Taylor Swift.” He teased you, then he finally found what he was looking for. The small old photo albums.

Your body curled up next to him as you pointed out various family members, he listened intently. You thought going through this old trunk was going to be horrible, but with Jinnie, it wasn’t. He asked questions about your family and you happily answered them laughing or with stories that were stored in your memories. You even got reminded of some stuff. If something sparked a story in Jinnie he would tell it to you as well.

“You’d love my mom.” Jinnie said and giggled at your baby photos.

“I think my mom would love you, my dad is hard to win over though.”

Jinnie chuckled then looked at you with a serious look, “do you think we will ever see them again? Or even get to meet them?”

“God, I hope so…” Your voice was quiet. You wanted so badly to introduce Hyunjin to your parents. You know they would love him and be so happy for you. He is everything your parents wanted for you. Respectful, smart, charming, they have always wanted that for you. Now that you have it, you want them so badly to see you this happy. They would be proud of you.

“I think we will get to meet each other’s families.” Jinnie spoke suddenly. You looked at him.

“You think?” Now you were fully pulled out of your thoughts.

Jinnie nodded, his hair falling in front of his eyes, which you pushed softly away.

“I know we will get to. You are my intended after all.”

~+~

You ended up being right about Mr. W scouting Jinnie for the next exhibit in Paris.

“Jinnie you have to except it.” You paced back and forth, your feet pittering and pattering on the old wood.

“Y/n I don’t know. Don’t you think that’ll bring too much attention to me?” You two were currently talking about whether or not he should take it. At this point the semester was nearly over, and that means the Paris trip would be soon. You knelt by him on the couch.

“You could always do a fake name… Maybe cover your face…” You looked up at him, “Jinnie this is really big for your art.”

He looked conflicted, “if that doesn’t work then what am I going to do? Go back and leave you here? I can’t do that…”

“You’re worried about having to leave me?” You leaned your head on his knee, he caressed your cheek. His fingers drifted to the necklace he gave you weeks ago. You seemed to only take it off while you bathed. Not that he paid attention to that or anything.

“Of course, I am, I know I wouldn’t have a choice if I was found out.”

“Hyunjin…” You stood up and sat next to him, his hair had grown out more and he had the same scared dog look to him again. Just like he did when you first met him.

“Y/n, I don’t know what I would do, I know I sound crazy and I know it hasn’t been that long, I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and I know I romanticize every little thing, I can’t just- I-“

You put your hand in his, “it’s okay Jinnie. We aren’t at that yet, and that might not even happen.”

He nodded and took a deep breath, “I’ll explain my situation to Mr. W. Tell him my conditions and then we will go from there.”

Your lips curved into a smile, and you kissed his cheek, “I’m so proud of you, Hyunjin, even if you decide not to go.”

Jinnie looked at you and he looked more relaxed, he squeezed your hand, “I love you so much.”

You had to force your brain to not make your tears flow, “I love you more.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow after class,” he stood up, “I want you to come with me if I go to Paris.”

Jinnie pulled you with him, your body crashed into his and he held you.

“You do?” Your eyes loved the sight of him.

“I do.” He lifted both of your hands on his shoulders and put his on your waist, “I know you have work but-“

“I want to go with you, I want to support you. I’d go anywhere with you.”

Jinnie smiled warmly at you, “I’ll have to hold you to that.”

“You still have to sing to me.” Your eyes playfully narrowed at him, he huffed and swayed you two.

“I sing to you all the time, it’s not my fault you’re always already asleep.” He gave you a funny look back. You pretended to be offended.

“No fair! Sing me to sleep tonight!” You said, he giggled and spun you. You ended up crashing into him.

“Say please my intended.”

You looked up at him, “please sing me to sleep tonight.”

Jinnie kissed you softly, you kissed him back and whined a bit when he pulled away, “as you wish.”

~+~

The next morning on the walk to school Jinnie really took in his surroundings like it would be the last time to. It really scared you. He wouldn’t get out of bed until you two absolutely had to. He wouldn’t let go of you while you cooked breakfast, and he wanted you to stay in the kitchen when he prepped your guys’ lunch.

“Jinnie are you okay?” You noticed how he really was looking at the sunrise on the hill. He looked at you and sighed.

“I’m just preparing for the worst.”

You were worried about him, “Jinnie, I know what I said but if you really don’t want to do this-“

“My love, I’ve always wanted to have my art in an exhibit, and- and you’re right. I need to at least try. Maybe he won’t even care that I want to go by another name. That’s pretty normal for artists.”

“That is true…” You nodded and mumbled, “but what if he looks up your legal name?”

“I don’t think he will.” Jinnie said, “at least I really hope not.”

When you two finally made it to school you noticed how he didn’t let go of your hand. Usually he would, you both decided to only tell Gram about your relationship.

“It’ll be okay Hyunjin…” You said to him, he nodded and walked into class first, finally letting go. You quickly followed after him. The whole time you could tell he wasn’t paying attention, his leg would bounce, and his brush would shake before it hit the canvas. It really hurt your heart to see him like this. You didn’t know what to do about this. He wanted this but his past life was still holding him hostage. No matter what though, you were determined to be there for him.

Chapter 4: Broken Trust

After class you waited for Jinnie to stop talking to Mr. W, you picked at your fingernails trying to calm yourself down. Seeing how nervous he was made you feel like throwing up. Taking a deep breath, you leaned your head back against the wall.

“It’ll be okay…” You mumbled to yourself. Your eyes closed and you tried to calm yourself down. Part of you knew Jinnie had to go back at some point, even you had to go back at some point. You just hope that maybe it would be you two together going back and facing what you both left. You should really call your parents soon… Your eyes shot open, and you stood up when the door opened. Jinnie smiled at Mr. W and wished him a good day. Then he turned to you.

“He is totally okay with it.” Jinnie beamed at you and hugged you tightly, “I really want you to come with me.”

Your giggles started when you felt his hair tickle your face, “I will be there.”

~+~

“I want to call my parents.” You said to him a couple days later. He looked up from his plate with wide eyes.

“Are you sure?” Jinnie asked, his mouth full, eyes still wide.

You swallowed hard and nodded, “I’m sure. I think they need to know that I’m okay, all I left them was a note saying I’d be back soon. I feel guilty about it.”

Jinnie nodded, “do you want me to be next to you when you call?”

“Please. I know it’s sort of a lot to ask but- “

He grabbed your hand from across the table, “nothing is too much for you to ask of me.”

Your nerves calmed and you nodded, “thank you Jinnie.”

“You’re most welcome, my intended.”

After dinner you two sat on the floor, your landline phone and your actual cell phone next to each other. The plan was, if the landline didn’t get an answer, then it was a last resort to turn on your old cell phone and call.

“Are you nervous?” Jinnie asked as he sat cross-legged in front of you. Your shoulders shrugged.

“What if they get mad at me? What if they hate me for leaving?”

Hyunjin took a deep breath, “did they know what was going on?”

You nodded softly, “my dad even went to the court room, he stayed outside but he knew what was going on.”

“I don’t think they will be mad.” Hyunjin lightly pushed the phone towards you. You took a deep breath and started to dial. Your hands shook and Hyunjin held your free hand.

Brrrr brrrr brr- click

“Hello?” It was your dad’s voice, you felt that feeling in your throat. You were choked up. You froze. Hyunjin mustve sensed this because he tried to get you back to reality asap.

“Dad?” You said quickly, thankful Hyunjin snapped you out of it.

“If this is some joke, I don’t think this is very fucking funny.” Your father’s voice was stern, just as you remembered it.

“No-No it’s me. Y/n L/n, it’s me, your kid, the one who used to eat the dead flies off the bay window.” You spoke quickly, you saw Jinnie give you a funny look. He was trying to not laugh or make fun of you in this moment.

“Y/N!” Your dad sounded relieved to hear your voice, “I-I’m so glad you’re okay… We didn’t know when you were going to come back, and you never answered any calls.”

“I know… I’m really sorry, I was stupid and thought everything was going to be safer if I left.” You spoke softly.

Your dad let out a sigh, “Kiddo, your heart was in the right place… Home is safe now, we moved, and the door is always open for you.”

Your eyes started to water, “you guys moved?”

“Yeah, a couple months after you left, we figured you left because of the situation, some people were saying that he finally- I don’t even want to get into it.” There was a pain in his voice.

“I’m so sorry. I feel like it was my fault, I still feel like if I didn’t- “

Your dad interrupted you, “Y/n. Nothing was your fault.”

The tears fell and you covered your mouth, choking on a sob, you heard your dad tell you to breathe. Something that when you were a teenager, he had to tell you quite often. You were almost an exact copy of him, he knew how bad it could get. You missed this familiarity.

“I’m sorry.” You repeated.

“It’s okay, I promise. I will give you our new address, visit whenever you want. Please call whenever you want. I know you probably don’t want to disclose where you are and that’s okay. I’m just so happy you aren’t dead.”

Your father gave you the new address and you wrote it down. After catching up a bit, the call ended. Jinnie stayed by your side the entire time, he read his book and held your hand. When the call was finished, he softly set the book down.

“How do you feel?”

You tackled him in a hug on the couch, “I’m so happy Hyunjin!”

~+~

“Okay Y/n is everything packed?” Jinnie asked, you nodded. After you called your dad, Jinnie figured going on a nice weekend trip would help with the heaviness of the past couple weeks. He didn’t tell you where you guys were going, but you trusted him with everything.

“Can you pleaaase tell me?” You asked as you two walked to the town for the millionth time. He started to pack your bags in the rental car.

“No, it’s a surprise.” He evilly giggled. You whined.

“Can you give me a hint?” You leaned against the car.

Jinnie looked at you with his hand on his hip, “no.”

“Have I been there before?”

He rolled his eyes and pecked your lips, “I really hope not.” He closed the trunk and you two started your drive.

“I haven’t been in a car in forever.” You mumbled looking around the interior. Jinnie laughed a little and kept his eyes on the road.

“Don’t get carsick, it’s sort of a long ride.”

You hummed and nodded, “Jinnie?”

“Yes, my intended?”

“Are you excited for the Paris exhibit?”

Your eyes watched as his toothy grin formed, “yes Y/n I’m ecstatic.”

“Good!” You smiled, matching his grin.

As the car ride carried on, you started to doze off. Jinnie said it was okay if you fell asleep, so you let yourself doze off. When you woke, you were still driving, so you fell asleep again.

“I have to get gas; do you have to use the restroom or anything?” He shook you softly awake. You stirred and looked at him sleepily. His smile at you warmed. He looked at you as if you were a warm blanket after a long day outside during the coldest of winters.

“Mmm I’m hungry…” You mumbled and took off your seatbelt.

“Okay let me gas up and I will go in with you.”

You nodded and waited for him, after he fed the car, he parked in the lot and opened your door for you. Your hand found his and you two walked to the little convenience store. When your eyes landed on all the snacks and things they practically sparkled. You hadn’t seen stuff like this for years.

“Jinnie! Look!” You pulled him to the sunglasses. You grabbed a pair and put one on, “do these look nice?”

“Hmmmm, try these ones.” He said and switched them out. You giggled as he put them on your face, after adjusting them and looking into the mirror you nodded. They were circular and red, very old fashioned.

“I like these!”

Jinnie helped you to get some snacks and he paid for them, much to your dismay. Before you knew it, you two were on the road again.

“We are almost there I promise, I know we have been driving for a few hours…” Jinnie mumbled and glanced at you. You sat there munching on some snacks in your new sunglasses.

“Okay Jinnie.” You smiled and took another bite.

He wasn’t wrong, you two were almost there, at some point when the mountain road cleared your eyes met the blue ocean.

“Oh my god!” You practically jumped out of your seat.

“Nice way to kick off the summer?” He asked.

You turned to him, your hair a mess, sunglasses slanted, clothes disheveled, “YES!”

Jinnie smiled and started toward the small home he rented for the weekend. It was a walk from the beach and right when he stopped the car you started running toward the water. You craved the warm sand on your toes and the cold water on your skin. Your feet didn’t stop until you jumped into the water, clothes and all. You saw Jinnie laughing and jogging after you. He always looked like a dream, someone so perfect could only be in your imagination. Yet… Here he was. He wasn’t imaginary, he was just perfect in your eyes.

“This is amazing!” You laughed and waved your new shades back and forth. Jinnie stood by the water letting it hit his feet. You noticed how he was taking it all in as well.

“I know we have to take a trip to Paris next week, but I thought that this would be a nice way to relax before things get busy again.”

You jumped out of the water and hugged him, getting him, all soaked from the ocean.

“Ah!” He jumped and tried to get out of your grip.

“Jiiiiinnnnie!” You whined and looked up at him, his eyes softened, and he kissed you. Perfect, you caught him off guard and you threw both of your bodies into the water. Just like back at home in the lake, where he kissed you the first time. His laughter rang through your ears, you didn’t think you would ever get tired of hearing his laughter. Jinnie’s crazy, loud, stupid laughter. It could make symphonies jealous.

~+~

You two laid in bed with the balcony doors open. The moon shone in, illuminated the room in a pale blue. Almost like the room’s saturation was turned down. The ocean waves could be heard, sometimes the breeze would move the curtains. You laid there playing with his hair, you took in every mole and every imperfection. To you though, the imperfections is what made him human. It’s what made him your intended, just as you were his.

“I need to get it cut before the exhibit.” He mumbled into your arm.

“My boss at the bookstore used to trim mine.” You whispered. Hyunjin nodded.

He slowly opened his eyes; he was so beautiful inside and out. Yeah, sometimes he was a little odd, memories flashed in your head. Sometimes he would chase the birds on the way home from class, other times you noticed he just wanted to watch movies to cry. Hyunjin was one of a kind in your eyes, he was caring and compassionate. No other person compared to his kindness. No other person compared to his uniqueness in general.

“Do you know why I call you my intended?” He asked and his hand found its way to your cheek. Your mouth curved slightly.

“Why is that?”

“I intend to stay with you. No matter what.” He softly kissed your cheek.

Your breath hitched, “you think I’m worth that?”

“You’re worth more than anything, that’s why I spoil you so. You deserve it, you deserve everything. I want to be the one to give you that happy ending.” Hyunjin pulled away from you, eyes locking, “you have made this the best few months I have had in a while. You gave me hope that my childish fantasies of love were true. I am so glad I found that my hopes are within you.”

“I want a happy ending with you.” You breathed, he smiled at you.

“What kind of ending?”

You leaned on your back now, “I dunno, maybe one where we are all old and sometimes gross,” you heard him laugh before you continued, “maybe have a nicer home somewhere else, one where we own it together.” You turned to him, “maybe even get a dog or cat. No birds though, you’d chase it away.”

You felt his lips on yours, “it sounds perfect.”

“What about…?” You looked at him.

“Hmm?” Hyunjin asked, shuffling under the blankets.

“What about your family?”

Hyunjin’s face fell a bit before going back to a lovestruck look, “I will have to go home at some point, but I will always come back to you. I promise.” He kissed your hand.

“I love you, Hyunjin.”

�� “I love you most, my intended.”

~+~

On the car ride home, you felt yourself getting really carsick, like REALLY carsick. The previous day you two ate at some seafood place and it was not agreeing with your stomach. In the morning you threw up the fish and Jinnie had to watch over you. He made jokes with made you laugh. It wasn’t all bad. You learned that even if he got grossed out, he would still be there.

You two stopped at the gas station once more and this time he bought a matching pair of sunglasses, just to make you smile. Everything felt too good to be true. When you two got home, it felt right to be home with him. Everything felt so perfect with him. He led you to your room and straight to your bathroom. You had to bathe after that long car ride. Jinnie helped you wash up and it was the most vulnerable you have ever been around another human. It opened your world to what you were missing. After what happened you tended to close your world heavily. You didn’t want to love when you didn’t know what love even was. Now you do.

“My intended, I am going to grab some clean clothes from my house. Lay down here, do you need anything while I am away?” He set you down by the bed, your wet hair soaking the pillow.

“I’m okay.” You smiled up at him, he looked down at you, eyes full of adoration. Jinnie nodded and headed out of the door. You started to fade in and out of consciousness. The drive and the food poisoning were really hitting you. You were tired, exhausted even.

At some point, you faded awake and you felt Hyunjin lay next to you, he held you tighter than usual. Your neck felt wet, but you just assumed that he showered or something. Your body just turned more into him, you let him hold you. His breathing was staggered and you would have asked if he was okay, if your own body wasn’t on shut down.

“I love you so much, please know that.”

~*~

The next morning you woke up feeling so much better. The sickness was out of your system, you could hear the birds in the morning. The light shown in your curtains, it felt perfect. You got up thinking Jinnie was making breakfast, skipping in the kitchen you noticed that there was a plate of food. But no Jinnie. Your brows furrowed and you looked at the scene in front of you. The plate of seasoned potatoes and eggs, his sketchbook, and a note.

Y/n, I don’t even know how to start this, I guess I should just explain when I got back to my house to pick up my clothes one of my old friends was there, he started bawling and hugging me when he finally saw me again he started saying how they looked for me everywhere, even though they weren’t technically allowed to, he said that Mr. W ratted me out to JYP. That is the company I am signed to. He ratted me out Y/n, and they came to pick me up. Apparently, I am allowed to work again. They paid Mr. W handsomely to give them My location, and he did.

Your eyes started to well up, you knew he was too good to be true. You took a deep breath and continued to read.

I didn’t want to leave; I told my friend I didn’t. But when I was about to walk out toward your house, the rest of my friends were there too. Some of the strongest people I know were crying when they saw me. People who usually don’t hug me, hugged me. I wanted to wake you up. Take you with me, I wanted you to always be in my world. But I was vetoed quickly. I am so sorry that I have to leave like this. When things settle down I promise I will come back for you. I always will. I am leaving you with my sketchbook. I promise Y/n, I promise you my Intended. I will be back. I am so very much in love with you.

-Your Intended forever, Jinnie.

Originally, you felt sad. Now a wave of anger washed over you. You put on your shoes and ran out, it was Monday, you were supposed to leave for France with Jinnie today. That wasn’t going to happen because of someone whom you looked up to. And for what? Money.

Your feet led you to the school, anger was an understatement. You slammed open the school door and stormed into the classroom. Mr. W stood there, looking at you with a shocked expression. He clearly wasn’t expecting you so early.

“What is wrong with you!?” You yelled.

“His friends were looking for him Y/n.” Your mentor said simply, “I did the right thing.”

“You did the right thing for MONEY!” Your voice still raised, “I am going to the exhibit fucking alone, I am taking his work WITH me.” You started grabbing all of Hyunjin’s canvases.

“Hyunjin was going to go back eventually when he HEALED, you sold him out because of your own selfish wants and needs.” You spoke with a lace of venom in your tone.

Mr. W scoffed, “again Y/n he was going to go back eventually, they needed to know where he was, I just delivered. And how on Earth are you going to do this without me? I taught you everything you know. You are supposed to take my position here.” You did not like when men talked to you like this.

“I went to the exhibit last year, and I think if I explained how you sold out the artist picked this year, they will fucking understand why you aren’t there to join me. Find another apprentice, I am leaving.”

And that you did, you meant what you said. The driver that was going to take you to Paris showed up, Mr. W didn’t meet you at your home like he was supposed to. He was a rat, a selfish waste of space. The driver helped you with Hyunjin’s work and your own work. You might as well try and turn this situation positive. The whole drive there was awkward.

The whole exhibit felt wrong.

It felt like something was missing.

He was missing.

~*~

Only one good thing came out of it, people liked yours and his work, many people asked to sell his work to them. You declined but sold all your own work. You sold all your possessions through the bookstore manager back at that small French town. You erased your existence there. You settled down in a small abode in the city. In the heart of Paris, you resided. Mr. W got a bad reputation at that school, the poetry teacher told you. She hunted you down after you left. She would give you updates on what was happening. Until eventually she would stop calling. That was the last connection cut from that little French town.

Slowly, your own art got more recognition. A year had passed, and you got popular in the art scene. You could afford more, as much praise as you were getting, you still felt so very empty. Most nights you found yourself looking up above the mantle, your favorite piece. It was priceless to you, your favorite landscape.

You sat on the couch mentally preparing for your next meeting, it was going to discuss the next exhibit location. Taking a deep breath, you leaned back. You finally made a name for yourself but at what cost. It wasn’t even your fault. The world you learned was littered with selfish people. The more meetings, the more people, the more people, the more your optimistic mindset declined. There was never a day that went by where you didn’t miss Hyunjin immensely. You researched him behind the scenes, you kept an eye on him. When he posted on their Instagram that he purchased one of your works, you bawled for days.

Taking another breath you stood up, he knew where to find you, yet he hasn’t. That isn’t on you. Grabbing your things you headed down to the lobby of your apartment. You sat in a boring meeting until someone rushed in, it wasn’t so mindless anymore.

“I am so sorry, someone literally stole my bike and I had to rush here.” The man was very tall, hair a mess now. His clothing was impeccable. He had a warm drink in his hand, his glasses almost falling off his nose. He quickly walked to his seat, which was next to you.

When the meeting went on you started to get curious of the man next to you. He was attractive, no lie. Your stubborn heart wasn’t going to pine after him though. When the meeting ended and the location of your exhibit was chosen you quickly walked out.

“Wait!”

You flipped around and saw the man goofily run up to you, “yes…?”

“I wanted to introduce myself, I absolutely love your work and it took a lot of digging to even get into that meeting.” He fixed his glasses.

“Oh.” You said simply. The grown man nodded and stuck his hand out.

“I am Kim Namjoon.”

You smiled and shook his hand, “Y/n.”

You two started to walk together, “so that’s your real name?” He sparked conversation with your closed off demeaner so easily.

“Yes, you didn’t think my name was actually ‘intended’ did you?” You asked, adjusting your coat. It was cold in the spring, although summer was coming quickly. You could just tell.

Namjoon let out a laugh, another unique laugh. You felt yourself smile softly to yourself.

“Well, I wasn’t sure. Sometimes people have distinctive names.” He spoke with a tone that was so interesting to you. This Namjoon was an interesting individual.

“I think your name is nice, I’ve never heard it before.” You spoke. Your bag swung a bit, you looked up at him. Namjoon’s brows furrowed.

“You haven’t?” He asked.

“I mean, it could be familiar, but I don’t know. Should I know it?” Your voice was teasing. The banter made Namjoon smile.

“Well, I was just. I was just in a music industry so it threw me off slightly.” He said quieting his voice.

“Oh?” You asked.

“Yeah, I was in a k-pop group. Sometimes I still make music, but the group is only sometimes now. I don’t mind, the space from all of that lets me enjoy other forms of art.”

Your heart got reminded of what it was stolen of.

“That’s good that you are growing every day.” You said, your tone was cold. A total 180, Namjoon didn’t seem to notice though. As he walked you to your apartment he asked about your work, about you, he made sure you were comfortable.

You ended up letting him in your apartment.

“So, you were in a k-pop group?” You were curious, “was the company bad in any way?”

Namjoon’s brows furrowed, confused by your question. Also confused by your sudden interest in that part of his life.

“Well, when I first started yeah it was rough. But then we just started controlling our own little section of the company. So, I am now in charge of what I do.” He spoke, sipping the tea you made for him.

“Ah…” You sat down at the table with him, you looked out the window at the city. This window of the house barely showed the Eiffel Tower.

“You are different then how I expected you to be.” Namjoon spoke. You perked up.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

He let out a laugh, “its not a bad thing, with how dark your work is, part of me expected a very tortured very damaged person. However, looking at you now, I can still see you have a little spark in your eyes.”

Your eyes softened, you really thought that spark was gone from your soul. But if a complete stranger saw it, maybe the spark wasn’t died out completely.

“You can?” Your voice softened, you didn’t want to cave so easily. However, you felt your walls starting to crumble. When you moved to Paris and started to get popular you were telling men and women left and right to fuck off if they wanted to court you. It was even worse if they TRIED to court you. But Namjoon, he seemed sincere. Your heart dropped when you saw your piece above the mantle. You caved in on yourself. Namjoon picked up on this.

“Was that too much? I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, you rapidly shook your head no.

“it’s just been a while since I have sat down with someone like this.” You took a sip of your own tea, “it isn’t bad. Its just something different for me.”

Namjoon nodded, “I am in Paris for about a week, I was actually planning on going to your exhibit because either way I wanted to meet you, but I am ranting, anyways, if you would like to do this more, like sit down and talk.”

You looked up at him and smiled, “I would like that.”

He was a little awkward, but maybe he was charming you slightly.

~*~

You two ended up exchanging numbers after he had tea with you that one day, a couple days passed and you two decided to go to a local restaurant down the road. He was going to meet you at your apartment, and you would buzz him up. You put on your makeup and got dressed, back in the small town your clothing was lighter colors. Now you noticed it was all black and navy blue. Dark maroons sometimes littered your wardrobe as well. As you got changed you didn’t see the text reading that Namjoon couldn’t make it today. When your door buzzed you let whoever was here, up. When there was a knock at the door you rushed over, your long black dress flowing as much as it could with your long cardigan over it. You slipped your heels on and opened the door.

“Jinnie- “

Chapter 5: I’m Sorry, I’m Late

“Jinnie-“your voice got caught in your throat. There he was, in front of you. His hair was different, but the curves of his face and his moles were exactly where you remembered him. You tried to draw him many times over the past year; you could never perfect him.

“I’m sorry, I’m late.” He spoke, his voice was just as you remembered it. God…

In a shock to yourself your face contorted, “late for what Hyunjin.” Your cold voice stunned you.

“I had a feeling you would be upset with me.” His voice was calm, he looked somewhat different, his hair was blond and long. It was a total 180 from the short choppy dark hair of Jinnie.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly. You took a deep breath and stepped aside. He walked in, his clothes were different too. More chic, he looked expensive.

You walked over to your phone to see that Namjoon asked to reschedule, what rotten timing.

“You still have our piece we made together, over the mantel.” He noted. Your heart wanted to be so mad at him. You were livid, he had left for a year, no words, no letters, nothing. Hyunjin just watched you from afar as you did him. It’s not like you had any way to contact him. He could’ve easily contacted you, but he didn’t.

“Why are you here?” You asked trying to sound stern, it wasn’t real though. When it came to him your heart was on your sleeve. Your cold tortured artist façade now crumbled completely; it always did when your heart missed him.

“I’m here for your exhibit.” He turned around and looked at you, now leaning on the arm of the couch, “your home is nice.”

“My exhibit isn’t until a few days.” Your voice once again slightly quivering. You felt your posture stiffen.

“I know that.” Hyunjin walked toward you, your eyes weren’t on him, but you could hear his shoes. His now expensive, shiny, pointy, stupidly classy shoes.

You finally gained enough courage to look at him, his brown eyes looking straight into you. The rolls were reversed now, your heart was the scared dog.

“I said I was late because I heard from the grape vine about Namjoon visiting for your exhibit.”

Your eyes widened, how? It was one day…

“My friend is friends with Namjoon’s friend. He apparently talks nonstop about you and your work. When Chris, my friend, told me, I came here as soon as possible.” He went to grab your hand and you pushed it away.

“So, you only came here when you found out someone who has an interest in me was now getting to see me?” Obviously, this hurt you. It felt selfish and that wasn’t the Jinnie you knew.

“Y/n you know I don’t mean it like that…” Hyunjin’s voice was pained. It broke you a little more knowing it was because of your own words. You walked past him, and you heard his footsteps following you. Whipping around you poked his chest.

“You didn’t even reach out to me! You bought one of my works second hand! You knew exactly where to find me!” Your voice raised, “I waited for you!”

“I know you did, and I am so sorry, I got caught up in so many schedules. And it was a lot. My parents missed me, and I missed my friends and the next thing I knew- “

“And then you have the absolute AUDACITY to come to my home when I just started getting over you!” You backed him to the edge of the couch again.

Hyunjin looked at you with wide eyes, then they trailed down to your neck, “are you sure about that?” His voice was just above a whisper. Your brows furrowed and your hand came up to touch what his eyes were glued to.

It was the necklace he gave you, in your defense you never take it off. It just became apart of you, just like he did.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice my works wrapped up under the couch either.” He wasn’t walking on eggshells anymore, he was stomping. Your eye twitched.

“What do you even want to get out of this Hyunjin!?” You didn’t look at him.

You felt his warm hand softly grab yours, he was back on eggshells again, his grip was as if you were blown glass.

“I want you just as I always have.”

That was it, there was absolutely no getting over him. Any progress you made in the past year was gone. You looked away from him.

“Please… Look at me…” He was trying not to cry, “say anything please.”

“Not even a text? Or a letter?” Your voice broke, the floodgates had opened wetting your face.

Hyunjin wiped your tears as quickly as they leaked out of his favorite pair of eyes, “I tried, I didn’t know what to say. I will admit I am being impulsive and stupid. I shouldn’t have dropped everything the second I heard Namjoon was going to be at your meeting.”

Your brows furrowed again, and you looked up at him, “you dropped everything?”

“Yes, in a heartbeat, the second Chris told me I booked a plane ticket without telling anyone. I was scared and I couldn’t- I couldn’t let you- “

The anger was back, and you pushed his hands off his face, “you couldn’t let me get over you!?” You turned your back to him and hugged yourself.

“I couldn’t let someone else have you! Y/n, I messed up so badly. I know I did, I hurt you and left you with a stupid note and I didn’t even think about how much it would hurt you in the morning. I was overwhelmed. I should have visited you right when I knew you were here.” Hyunjin was desperately trying to get you to hear him out. Your heart was in a war between loving him and hating him.

Hating him was fueled by how much you were in love with him.

“You have until my exhibit, to fix this. To prove to me that you won’t just leave again with a stupid note.” You turned around and his eyes filled with hope. The same hope before yours and his relationship was tainted.

You ended up having to let Hyunjin stay in your guest room, he didn’t book any kind of hotel or anything. He truly just bought a ticket to France, to you. The rest of that day was spent with him walking around your home and taking what you presumed to be mental notes.

Your outing with Namjoon was going to get rescheduled at your exhibit. At this point, your childish heart wanted the entire Earth to stop so you wouldn’t have to be with anyone but Hyunjin. But the adult brain in you told you that Hyunjin needed to prove that he wouldn’t just leave again.

~*~

The next morning you woke up and flipped over, totally forgetting yesterday’s events. When you heard music playing from your living room you got scared. You sprung up and rushed in, no one was in the living room. It was BRIGHT too, usually you have the curtains closed.

When you entered the kitchen, there he was. You weren’t dreaming.

“Oh, did I wake you?” He turned around, his beautiful face more visible to you now. You mentally thanked the headband he had on.

“No, I just-“ you didn’t know what to say.

“I opened your curtains in the living room and in here, you have beautiful views of the city.” Hyunjin smiled at you and set a plate down at your small table, meant for two.

“You made breakfast?” You asked, eyeing the plate. Your eyes then went up to him, he looked tired, he was still in his pajamas. Hyunjin nodded.

“I am really jetlagged, so it was hard sleeping. I woke up really early and so I made breakfast.” Even through his drowsiness he smiled for you. You mumbled a thank you and sat down. You saw that he made a really good-looking fruit bowl with oatmeal.

“I have hard boiled eggs in the fridge too. All picked up this morning. I didn’t want to use your food without permission.” He said and set down spoons and forks for you both.

“You could have… It’s okay…” Your voice was quiet.

“Do you have any plans today?” Hyunjin asked you. You took a bite of the fruit in the fruit bowl. He even picked the best fruit for you. You shook your head no.

“Would you want to take a walk with me today? I was thinking about getting ice cream or a genuine French Crepe.” He took a sip of his tea.

“Aren’t you worried about being recognized with me? Don’t you have fans?” You took a sip of your tea now.

“Well, don’t you have fans now?” He slyly smiled at you, “I’ve heard some rumors about you.”

You gave him a look, “what do you mean?”

Hyunjin did one of his eye smiles and giggles, “you know at first, I was a little jealous when I heard that everyone in the art scene wanted to court you.” He sipped his tea and wiggled his eyebrows. You couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped you.

“Not everyone.” You looked away, “they stopped after a bit.”

Hyunjin set his glass down which got your attention again, “ah of course they did, you gained the reputation of being unobtainable.”

“Is that what they call me now?” You asked, now taking a spoonful of oatmeal.

“Maybe, I wouldn’t call you that though.”

“Confident, are we?” You asked him.

The man in front of you looked at you, a small huff of a laugh coming out of his nose, “maybe.”

~*~

He held the umbrella for you both as you walked down the busy street with him. A scene your heart never thought would come true.

“Your clothes are darker colors now.” He noted, “they look nice on you.”

You nodded, “thank you, your hair doesn’t look choppy anymore.”

Hyunjin threw his head back and laughed, he almost hit you with the umbrella, “I got scolded and forced to get a haircut, they don’t let me touch it now.”

“Your work?” You questioned. Hyunjin let out a hum of a yes. You frowned, “doesn’t it bother you…? Being put in a box like that?”

“Oh, every day, but it’s worth it when I am on stage, dancing, singing, I missed it truly. I got my spark back.” He spoke with stars in his eyes.

“Well, that’s good then. I am glad your trip helped you appreciate what you have.” You said and pushed your dark sunglasses up again.

“My return though made me miss dearly what I gained on that trip.” Hyunjin said in a hushed voice, near your ear.

You looked at him, as much as you wanted to fight it, your heart belonged to him. It wasn’t time yet though; your mind was still scared.

“The café is up there.” Hyunjin broke eye contact with you then led you to the café.

He ended up ordering for you in French, he spoke with confidence. It was a change from the markets in that oh so small town. You both sat outside after he paid.

“I studied French on my free time when I got back.” Hyunjin spoke and took a bite of his sweet treat.

“I was wondering how you spoke so confidently.” You sipped your hot coffee; you also picked a strawberry off your plate.

“It made me think of you.” He spoke and gave you that stupid eye smile. It was almost torture.

You looked away biting back a smile, he was too charming for his own good. The little things he did were too much. It made your heart win the war over your brain.

“Was the bed warm? In my guest room?” You questioned.

Hyunjin nodded, still smiling at you. He seemed thrilled to just be around you, “mhm!”

“That’s… That’s actually a relief, I don’t usually have overnight guests.” Your lips curved into a smile. You looked up at him and his head was turned in question.

“What?” You asked.

“You don’t have guests?”

You shook your head no, “I don’t have people over like at all. One time my mom visited but that was a few months ago.”

“You don’t get lonely?”

Your mind filled with memories of you sipping wine by yourself, letting a couple tears slip while the fire was the only thing that warmed your body. Quickly you snapped out of it.

“No.” Your answer was short, “I did that before didn’t I?” Correction, you did that before you met Hyunjin. Then he opened your world only to leave you on the dark side of the moon.

“Well, I just thought because your art style changed dramatically. The colors you used were always dark, dark reds, blues, blacks, greys. No more yellow or lavender.” He said simply.

“Do you study my work?”

Hyunjin smiled again at you, with a knowing look, then he shrugged, “finish your coffee its going to get cold.”

~*~

The next day he made you breakfast again, this time it was muffins and fruit. He even cut the fruit into little shapes; you know that he specially hand cut each shape due to the fact you didn’t own any kind of food cutters.

“Good morning!” Hyunjin said cheerfully.

“Did you rest well?” You asked sitting down, Hyunjin nodded.

“I slept a lot better than last night; I usually get over jet lag pretty quickly so.” He set your food down and sat down next to you, “I also made peppermint tea this morning.”

“Thank you…” You felt your face warm and the small butterflies erupted from your chest to your heart.

“So today, are you busy with anything?” Hyunjin asked, you took a bite of your muffin. It was pumpkin.

“Did you make these?” You looked at him, it tasted exactly like your pumpkin bread. Hyunjin nodded with a grin.

“We made it so much that when I had free time, I wrote down the recipe. I used to make it in my dorm whenever I missed you. Let’s just say I gave my friend who actually bakes a run for his money.” He giggled and took a bite of his muffin.

“That’s… Really sweet of you…” You spoke quietly, you saw Hyunjin smile warmly to himself. Part of you knew he truly does love you as much as you still love him. Your mind was starting to forgive him. Your mind then went to his original question.

“I only have a small meeting today for the food being served at my exhibit.” You ate some fruit.

“May I come with you?” Hyunjin asked. Your mind fought it and thought it over. Your heart once again won.

“I think your insight will help.” Your words came off warm. You saw Hyunjin’s eyes widen a bit at your kind tone, then he smiled.

~*~

Once more he held your umbrella as you two walked, today it was actually raining so you actually needed the covering.

“I don’t think it will rain the day of your exhibit.” Hyunjin’s feet slapped against the stone streets of Paris.

“You looked up the weather?” Your eyes looked up at him. Part of him was offended and you can tell.

“Can you please stop being so surprised that I do the bare minimum?” He looked down at you, he didn’t want to start an argument. As he was a man who preferred to communicate and say his emotions. He could never hold in how he was feeling, and you remembered that. One time you two had a small argument in the small town, he just said how he was feeling.

“I’m sorry I am just trying to- I don’t even know. You’re right I need to have more faith in you.” You didn’t look at him anymore, “It’s really wrong of me to assume that you are going to do the worse.” You swallowed, you didn’t want to cry. But he was right. Hyunjin sighed and pulled you to the side of the sidewalk, under an awning. The rain was starting to get loud.

“Y/n you have every right to be cautious of me. I understand what I did and I shouldn’t have just-“

“Hyunjin…” You looked up at him, “you are right, I need to be more open minded, you were never wrong to me in that small town and you didn’t have a choice to leave. You said so in your note.” You dug through your purse and grabbed your wallet.

“What’re you…?”

You kept digging until you pulled out his note, the one he left you at your small cottage, “you said yourself you wanted to take me with you, but you were shot down.”

“You keep it with you…?”

Your eyes looked away from him and to the note that was in your hands, “yes I keep it with me…”

Hyunjin’s hand touched yours and he took a deep breath, “I’m still so sorry.”

“It’s okay… Again, I know you didn’t have a choice, and I know you were so busy with your life and I started to become busy too and our lives just got so complicated… I need to stop being so cold to you…” Your voice was shaky, and you took a deep breath.”

“Hey… It’s okay…” Hyunjin’s hand slowly and cautiously went to your cheek. You looked up at him, he smiled at you, “hi.”

Your heart loved the view in front of you and so did your mind, “hi.”

“Let’s get to the meeting, okay? We don’t want to be late.”

That’s what you two did, you made it in one piece even in the rain. The meeting consisted of different cheese and wine tastings. Hyunjin would giggle at you everytime your face scrunched from the strong wine flavor and you would laugh at him when the cheese he ate tasted bad.

“You said this one tasted good!” Hyunjin pouted while you were giggling evilly.

“I thought it tasted great… Maybe your taste buds are broken.” You said smugly.

Hyunjin’s jaw dropped and he looked stunned, “MY taste buds!? You like bad cheese apparently!” He said loudly. You had to quiet him down while laughing. You two got a little tipsy while trying all the wine, you were nowhere near drunk, but you could feel a little buzz. You and Hyunjin were just constantly laughing at everything. In your heart you felt that this was perfect, you could live every day with him if you could. Before you two headed out you both made sure to drink water and have a couple slices of bread. Much to Hyunjin’s excitement.

When you two decided on the little snacks and drinks for your exhibit you two started your walk home, together. The buzz was starting to wear off which was good. Being publicly intoxicated could ruin both your public image, as if being alone together wasn’t enough to stir controversy. That fear wasn’t on either of your minds though, at least not at the moment. You and Hyunjin were both drunk on each other’s company.

“I cannot believe you made me try that gross cheese!” Hyunjin said as you two walked on the sidewalk. The rain started to clear up, so he didn’t bother opening the umbrella.

“You tried to get me drunk!” You joked back, Hyunjin dramatically gasped.

“I would never! You drank the same amount as me!” He placed his hand over his heart. You let out a laugh and through your head back. You missed this so much, you missed him so much. You and Hyunjin exchanged glances at each other as you two walked and talked.

“You know I wonder how our neighbor is…” You thought to yourself.

“Gram?” Hyunjin asked and cocked his head to the side.

You nodded and messed with the rings on your fingers, “I still feel guilty for just leaving and selling everything.”

“I am sure she would understand, maybe we could invite her to your exhibit!” Hyunjin suggested, your eyes lit up.

“That is such a good idea!” You grinned up at him, Hyunjin gave you a funny but endearing look.

“I think we should…-“ His voice trailed off and he looked in front of him. Your eyes followed him but before he could figure it out, he pulled you into the alley and started rushing.

“What is this about?” You felt yourself giggle a little and you let him lead you. You were still in love with him, you couldn’t help it.

“I think someone recognized one or both of us.” He turned three corners in the small alley and stopped to look around.

“So, you dragged us into a sketchy ally?” You felt yourself laugh at him, he looked down at you confused and then looked around.

“I guess I did… I panicked, okay?” You could tell he was a little embarrassed, once again you let a giggle slip out.

“I just don’t want to have to leave again.” Hyunjin spoke softly, his voice was quiet. Your eyes softened when you looked at him.

“You think they’d follow you again?” Your curiosity peaked. Hyunjin gave you a look and nodded.

“Oh yeah, they will follow me to the ends of the Earth. I mean my brothers would, they aren’t actually blood brothers but they are the closest I have to them.” He was rambling, it made you forget you two were in some random alleyway.

“Will I ever get to meet them?” You looked up at him and leaned against the wall. Hyunjin looked down at you.

“You want to meet them?”

You nodded, “well of course I would. They’re important to you, are they not?”

“Yeah… Yeah they are.” Hyunjin’s eyes kept staring into yours. His mind was running a mile a minute. You felt the rain start again, it was only a sprinkle and it felt nice. You looked up still leaning on the wall taking in the nice weather. You could hear Hyunjin breathe through his nose, and you looked up at him again. His brows were furrowed, and he looked frustrated.

“Are you okay?” You asked, now you were genuinely concerned.

“Please…” He mumbled, now it was your turn to look confused. The rain started to become heavy again, soaking both of you.

You heard Hyunjin mumble something and then look away.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you because of the rain.” You spoke.

“Please let me kiss you again.”

In the middle of the sketchy alleyway, you let him kiss you. The war between your mind and heart was over, they made a truce to love Hyunjin.

And only Hyunjin.

~*~

The next morning you woke up to Hyunjin next to you, he was still sound asleep. Hyunjin looked so peaceful, it was just like when you woke up next to him in that little cottage of yours. Except now you two are older. His face was illuminated by the sun bouncing off your white walls. He was beautiful. You think if you ever spent a year without him again you would be heartbroken forever.

You carefully slipped out of bed, making sure that you wouldn’t wake him. You got up and did your morning routine and called your manager, you had an idea.

“Hello Miss L/n.” Your manager said cheerfully, “what do I owe the pleasure?” Her voice was always so powerful.

“Do you remember the first exhibit when my work started to become popular?” You asked as you went through the fridge to make pancakes for you and Hyunjin.

“Ah yes, the one that was meant for Mr. W’s student Sam. But then Sam couldn’t make it?” Your manager always remembered; it was probably because you paid her to do so but still.

“Yes, that one, I want to put those pieces out again this next exhibit. I have Hyu- Sam, here with me. I would like him to see his work in an exhibit.” You spoke and started to stir the pancake mix.

“How kind of you Miss L/n.” You heard her type from the other end, “I will add that to your exhibit and the pamphlet. This afternoon I will send someone over to pick up yours and Mr. Sam’s.”

“Thank you.”

Your manager started typing again and hummed to herself, “alright, they will be there in the afternoon.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Jean.”

You said your goodbyes and continued to make breakfast, blueberry pancakes and coffee. Smiling to yourself you started to flip the pancakes. You jumped when you felt arms slowly snake around you.

“Good morning.” Hyunjin mumbled and buried his head in your shoulder.

“Morning Jinnie.”

Hyunjin giggled and buried his head more in your shoulder, “I missed that.”

You hummed and he didn’t let go of you while you cooked. You moved to the right, Hyunjin moved to the right. You took a step back, Hyunjin took a step back.

“Breakfast smells great.” Hyunjin was still very sleepy, you could tell.

“I am glad, I figured I would make up for you making breakfast the past couple days.” You laughed out of your nose.

“You don’t have to make anything up for me.” He finally let go of you when the food was done and set.

“Oh, I have someone coming over today to pick up some artwork for the exhibit. Do you mind running errands?” You asked and sipped your hot coffee. You put creamer in it, Hyunjin didn’t put creamer in his. You took note of that.

He pouted, “why can’t I be here?”

You gave him a look, “Can you please just trust me. Pleaaaase.” You pouted back. Hyunjin groaned and took a bite of his pancake, after he drowned it in syrup, of course.

“Jinni-“

“Yes. I can run errands, anything for you.”

Your smile widened and you giggled at how much of a lovesick dork he was. It was hypocritical of you to laugh though, you were the same lovesick dork for him. You always were.

~*~

The day of your exhibit rolled around and you woke Hyunjin up.

“Get up we have to get ready!” You grinned.

“My ticket isn’t until 6pm.” Hyunjin rolled over again, his beautiful form facing you. You shook him again.

“Don’t you want to walk into my exhibit holding hands with me?”

You have never in your life seen someone get ready THAT quickly.

“Blue or black suit?” Hyunjin asked.

You looked up at him. He had light makeup on and his hair was pulled back in a ponytail, he looked divine already. He could show up in his pajamas and he would look so good.

“Blue, navy blue.” You said and looked back at your vanity, you were deciding how to do your hair and makeup.

“Is that because you’re wearing navy blue.” He teased. Your face grew hot.

“Noooo…” You mumbled, he let out a loud obnoxious laugh that you were in love with.

You finished getting ready and you waited for him by the door, adjusting your hat and sunglasses. As much as wearing sunglasses indoors made you kind of look like an asshole, you became known to do so. You started wearing them at your first exhibit, it was so people couldn’t see you crying over Hyunjin and how you wanted him to be there so badly. You took a deep breath, maybe it was time to ditch the sunglasses.

“You look beautiful.” Hyunjin said from behind you and looked at you in the mirror, “can we take a photo?”

You nodded and looked up at him, he whipped out his phone and took a mirror selfie with you. He took a few photos, one of him kissing the side of your head, one of him holding you, another one of him actually kissing you. He would have memories and photos of you with him.

“We are going to be late Jinnie.” You laughed. He nodded and you two headed out to the driver.

~*~

When you two arrived early you talked to your manager and introduced her to Hyunjin. She was very excited to meet this other artist. Just like you, she fell in love with his art too. Mrs. Jean was also clearly scouting for another client. It made you smile with pride. You were always so proud of Hyunjin. They ended up talking about art, thank god your manager kept the surprise. She was clearly trying to sell him on becoming a client, part of you hoped so. That meant he would have to come to Paris more. Which means he could see you more.

Time passed and people started showing up to your shared exhibit. When you walked around and people chatted with you, you saw Hyunjin was chatting with a group of men that you recognized as people from his group. He didn’t look tense around them, and it didn’t seem like he was in too much trouble for running away again.

You sipped on your champagne and grabbed a couple of cheese slices from the table.

“Good evening.” You looked to your side and saw Namjoon. Uh ohhh. You smiled warmly, trying not to panic. You ended up setting your little cheese plate to the side.

“Oh! Hi Namjoon!” You were really trying not to panic. I mean you guys didn’t even go out, you had tea with him once.

“Your exhibit is really beautiful! I am excited to go through the rest of it.” He smiled at you.

“Thank you, Namjoon that means a lot.” You smiled, he smiled back and before you knew it you felt a hand on your waist.

“Oh my god I know you.” Hyunjin said and put his hand out, Namjoon shook it.

“You’re an idol too, right?” Namjoon spoke, “part of that group Stray Kids?”

Hyunjin nodded and shook his hand back, “yes, I am Hyunjin.”

“Ahhhh yes you are talked about a lot, I have heard your name float around before.” Hyunjin shrugged with a sly smile. You could help but roll your eyes at Hyunjin being childish.

Hyunjin and Namjoon talked a little about work before Namjoon excused himself to look at the rest of the exhibit.

“I have something to show you.” You grabbed Hyunjin’s hand with your free hand. You set your champagne down. Hyunjin smiled at you and nodded. You led him to the part of your exhibit that was dedicated to him. You saw as his eyes widened and he looked at you then back at his artwork. They were still in pristine condition.

“You didn’t get to see your work in an exhibit, I wanted to make that up to you.” You said quietly. Hyunjin looked at you like you were the world to him. He was at a loss for words.

“Do you like it?” You asked, scared you overstepped.

“Y/n… I love it…” He mumbled, still in shock, “I love you so much. I-“

You watched, heart beating out of your chest as he got down on one knee. Your mouth was agape. He pulled out a small box, the ring shining under the exhibit lights.

“I was planning to do this after the exhibit but my heart is telling me there is no other perfect time for this. I love you, y/n. I will make up for the time lost for the rest of my life with you. I thought about you every day and I will continue to only think of you every day. I want you to be my future, you already are my everything. My intended. Will you please marry me.”

Maybe you should have worn your sunglasses because you were crying over Jinnie again, but not because of sadness.

“Yes Jinnie!”

248 notes · View notes

abiiors · 11 months

Text

red lines - pt. 1 ║// matty healy x reader

a/n: i want you to read this very very carefully: i am pro-choice and i will always be pro-choice. and this is a work of fiction. also feel the need to add that this is more a collection of small vignettes??? ugh idk, hope you enjoy regardless cw: *deep breath* angst, pregnancy, mentions of abortion, mentions of vomit, (and other pregnancy symptoms), crying (so much of it my god) and arguments, mentions of smoking, illness, hospitals, panic attacks, reader has a good relationship with her mother so i guess that's a cw too, (most definitely inaccurate) descriptions of birth. wc: 4.6k

two red lines is all it takes to ruin a perfect life.

two red lines repeated twice on two different tests that stare back at you from the counter—innocent and white and damning. the bathroom is utterly still, save for the tap dripping one drop every seven seconds. you would know, you counted it, used those seven seconds to ground you and stop you from spiraling into another panic attack for the three minutes it took to get those two red lines.

pregnant.

with two more weeks left on tour by matty’s side.

gingerly you wrap them in toilet paper, make sure they’re safe and secure and nothing’s peeking out. you throw it in the bin, looking at it with a deadness on your face that you feel deep inside. then you call the reception and ask them to take out the trash.

matty isn’t here. he’s on stage, serenading thousands of people who hang on to every single word he says, looking at him with all the love and adoration in the world. matty, your matty, who belongs as much to you as he does to the people, the fans. you should have been there too but there was the migraine and the nausea that wouldn’t go away. so you told him you would just sleep it off tonight.

have an amazing night, babe. break a leg. and then a sweet kiss and a promise to see him tomorrow.

and then the two red lines.

every time you blink you see them flash in front of you—like a promise or a warning. or maybe even a sentence.

pregnant.

a baby.

a cause for happiness and celebration.

and the conversation from a week ago that lingers in your mind, echoes inside your skull as if those words are the only ones you remember.

i’m just not ready love, he says, not now. maybe not for another year or two. i don’t know, babies are a lot of work. and i am a lot of work.

i love you, he says, kissing you deeply and tasting his own cum on your lips. i love you but a baby right now is a hard no.

nothing in particular spurred this conversation really—just the two of you, naked, and tangled up in the sheets, his hand caressing your lower stomach and you letting yourself daydream. who knew the daydream was indeed reality? and now here you are, head in your hands—partly from the migraine, partly from the anxiety—waiting for him to be back.

he will change his mind, you know it. matty loves you, and this baby is half you, half him. he will come around and you will be there to soothe his worries. you know he will hear the baby’s heartbeat and fall in love.

you know he will treat them like the most precious thing in the whole world.

the thought makes you smile and the door creaks open.

“pregnant,” he looks at you warily, “what do you mean pregnant?”

the small smile on your face fades away. “pregnant with a baby, matty. what other kind of pregnant is there?”

you wonder if you meant to joke, if he will break character and laugh and everything will be okay again. maybe you just caught him by surprise, this is just a blip. in two more minutes, he will smile and drop down to his knees and kiss your still-flat stomach. he’ll say hello to them. tell them he loves them and then tell you how much he loves you, kissing you gently and pulling you into him.

you can already feel his feather-light touch on your skin. his mouth lingering on your lower stomach on his way down.

matty stills in place.

“no…”

one word, it’s small and broken and so unlike him that you almost do a double-take.

“what do you mean no?”

“i can’t okay?” his voice rises, “i told you i can’t!”

you can sense the agitation he feels, his hammering heartbeat and the shallowness of his breaths. his hands runs through his hair, spilling the curls everywhere.

“you’re on the pill.”

“i think…” you hedge, tears gathering in your eyes, “i think i missed a day.”

he snaps his head up to look at you. when matty first came back to the room, he looked happy and giddy—cheeks pink and hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat. now he looks grey and listless. like all the colour’s been zapped out of him.

“you missed a day,” he repeats.

“matty, please…”

but matty is already turning around and storming off to the balcony. through the glass you watch him light a cigarette with shaky hands, taking a deep drag before he tips his head back and blows it out. another drag, another blow. eyes closed. breathing that slowly goes from rapid to normal once again.

five minutes later, only the stub remains and matty is back in the room.

“i can’t,” he says firmly. “i told you i wasn’t ready.”

it sounds final. like a death knell. instictively your hand covers your stomach.

“i won’t,” you shake your head and the tears fall rapidly, first down your cheeks then your chin and onto your chest. “i won’t get rid of it.”

matty stares at you quietly, you stare back. it seems you’re at an impasse.

twenty minutes later, you pack your bags.

london is greyer than it has ever been, especially from your new flat so far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. not that you’ve had much time to get acquainted with the new area after being bent over the toilet for days on end, retching and heaving until there’s nothing left inside you. a hollowness so deep that no amount of food or water will fill it.

so you eat strictly for the baby. pre-natal vitamins and supplements and a nutritious breakfast that you throw right back up. but you try. all for the sake of the tiny clump of cells dependent on you. the image of the two red lines has long been replaced with a grainy black and white rectangle. every time you close your eyes, you see the screen lit up with an image of your little bean, moving around. in some far back corner of your mind, you think they look happy.

at night you curl up on your cold bed, phone in hand, the baby’s heartbeat playing on repeat. it used to be his, your brain reminds you painfully. back when you slept all cuddled up with him. head on his chest, his soothing heartbeat lulling you to sleep.

you mother is worried about you. she calls at least thrice a day to make sure you ate every meal and took every pill. she comes every sunday to stock you fridge full of vegetables and fruits and make sure you have enough ginger and peppermint tea. sundays, begrudgingly, become your favourite. your mother, once again, becomes your best friend.

but you can’t let her move in. can’t let her be a constant presence and drive you crazy and unearth him every chance she gets. so like clockwork, at 6 pm, you usher her out the door, tell her you need privacy and quiet and solitude. like every single time, she promises she’ll be back next sunday.

and every single time she keeps her word.

one day you wake up to a change—a small one, really, but a change regardless. barely even noticeable at first. it’s your top that doesn’t reach all the way down. maybe it shrunk in the wash, you think. then the full length mirror reminds you of the reality. and the tiny little bump that’s seemingly grown overnight.

your little bean. suddenly so real. so tangible. so present.

“hello, little one,” you coo at your stomach, feeling a little silly at first. there’s no reply, of course, just the sounds of morning traffic coming in from the open window. but your eyes stay trained on the bump. “you weren’t so noticeable last night.”

nothing happens. no movement (of course, not. they’re too small for that.), no one appreciating the change with you. matty who should have been here to witness this…

matty who isn’t here to witness this.

emotions swirl in your head so fast that it’s dizzying. this time there’s no tears falling one by one. there’s the sobs that come all of a sudden and the floodgates that open in the blink of an eye but he is not here to hold you or pull you into his chest when you gasp and gasp for a breath that never comes.

in a panic you dial the first number you can find in your contacts, gasping and yelling out broken sentences and panicking at whoever’s picked up. it’s 8 am on a wednesday, whoever you called must be utterly bewildered. yet when you can focus enough, you realise it’s a man’s voice replying. a familiar voice. shocked and equally panicked and asking you if you’re okay again and again.

you pull the phone away from your ear and look at the screen. at adam’s name flashing on it.

the first contact on your list. one starting with an a.

“fuck,” you mumble. “sorry, i’m okay. i’m fine.” and then you hang up, and rock yourself back and forth on the ground until your breaths resemble something normal.

fifteen minutes later, there’s pounding at your front door and the bell rings incessantly. in your gut you know it’s adam. and it’s confirmed when his voice floats through the door.

“open the door,” he urges. “i need to know you’re okay.”

and so you pull yourself back up, harshly wipe away the tears and unlock the front door.

it’s only been a month since you last saw adam but he looks different. his hair’s grown out, his dark circles are gone and in spite of the worried look on his face, he looks happier somehow. healthier.

being back home with the love of your life and your baby will do that to you.

“you look well,” you croak out and then clear your throat. adam doesn’t take the bait.

“do you need me to take you to the hospital? call your gp?” straight to the point as always. you smile at him fondly.

“no, no i don’t. i’m okay, i promise.”

“you didn’t sound okay.”

“i meant to call my mum, adam. sorry i dialed the wrong number.”

“regardless,” he holds up a hand. “can you please talk to me. or talk to mat—”

“don’t.” the voice that comes out of you is stern. “he doesn’t want me or the baby. i will not let him talk me into an abortion.”

adam winces and rubs a hand over his face. perhaps that was harsh, you think, he’s not some evil villain. but none of it changes the outcome. in every single universe, you end up here—fresh off a panic attack in your living room, talking to your ex-boyfriend’s best friend.

“how did you know where i live?”

at that he looks a bit sheepish. “i asked you mum. not today!” he reassures hastily when your eyes widen. “don’t worry. i asked her a few days ago. i wanted to… i’ve been meaning to check up on you.”

“and you couldn’t call?” you smile at him wryly.

“no. i wanted to see you in person.”

“so you can report back to him?”

adam clicks his tongue and warmth fills your chest. he’s always been good to you, always been kind, and loved you like a little sister. you shouldn’t have cut him off like this.

“no,” he says. “so i could make sure you were okay.”

it’s a small mercy that the morning sickness eases a few days after that as your bump continues to grow. more often than not, you find yourself with a hand on your stomach, drawing small circles on it and humming to it. lately, you’ve also noticed the little flutters that linger long after you stop humming. your baby responding to you. showing you they’re there.

it’s not far before you approach the twenty week mark. the most important scan you’ll have throughout. you’ll find out the gender, you’ll find out if they’re healthy or not.

and each time you think about it, it’s like the weight of the entire world is on your shoulders.

the night before you contemplate calling your mum, nervous and panicked once again but it’s almost 11 pm. she would be deep asleep by now—she would be excited too. no need to put a damper on her mood.

then you wonder if calling adam is a good idea. but you quickly scrap it.

for the first time in months your finger hovers over the familiar name in your contacts. over the little heart that’s still next to his name that you never bothered to change.

what will he say if you called him now? will he even pick up?

are you ready enough to brave it?

the truth still remains. you want this baby, he doesn’t. the same impasse you were at months ago. if any of that had changed, he would have called you. he would have reached out… right?

so instead you do the second stupidest thing. you type up his name in google.

your stomach churns with nausea or anxiety or just impending doom while the webpage loads—slow, too slow for your liking. or maybe time has simply slowed down and you’re too much of a coward to really face the consequences of your own action.

the webpage loads. the frown on your face deepens.

nothing. rather, the last article written about him specifically is from two days after the tour ended. everything after that is either recycled news, or some silly quiz about the band. nothing about him. no pap photos, no social media activity. absolutely nothing to indicate he’s even left his house in the last few months.

you mind buzzes with all kinds of thoughts, swirls with wicked possibilities. you almost even text adam about it before the turning your phone off abruptly and chucking it to the other side of the bed.

no more temptation.

sleep is like a fickle friend—has been since the day you left the hotel room in tears. but you close your eyes and imagine your baby’s heart beating inside you in sync with yours. tomorrow, there will be a new recording to replace the older one. hopefully one that’s stronger. calmer.

when sleep drags you under around three in the morning, you dream of his hands—fingers gingerly touching your stomach, resting on all the spots that flutter with movement. gentle hands that massage your sore feet and work out the kinks in your back.

hands that you might never feel on your skin ever again.

the doctor smiles coyly and slides an envelope to your mother. it’s a little hush-hush secret, one she insisted on and begged till you relented. the gender reveal isn’t huge or flashy but you know there’s a cake waiting for you at home along with a few friends and family. and for the first time in months, you let the excitement of it wash over you.

the scan was perfect! and now you feel a bit bad for clutching your mum’s hand hard enough till she’d winced (even though she hid it quickly and smiled at you in encouragement). so now here you are, thanking the doctor and practically skipping out the room with your mum laughing in tow.

she looks lighter too, you realise, much more carefree as she gushes about her precious grandbaby and how excited she is to meet them.

“we have to buy onesies!” she squeals getting behind the wheel and you laugh.

“we will, mum, but they’re going to grow out of it in weeks so you can’t go crazy, okay?”

she dismisses this with a wave and a pfft and you can already imagine the mountain of clothes she’s going to buy over the next twenty weeks.

you nod off to the sound of your mum excitedly making plans for an elaborate baby shower, one that you’ll have to beg her to tone down, but her voice fades away soon. instead, you dream of him. your subconscious wonders what he would have been like today—maybe he’d cry out of excitement or being overwhelmed, maybe he would smile so wide his cheeks hurt. in some parallel universe the two of you would be in the baby aisle—hand in hand and cooing over tiny onesies.

in this universe, you jerk out of the daydream just as your mum parks in the driveway.

your friends and family don’t yell “surprise”, much to your relief. there are many hugs and congratulations. tears of happiness and jokes and then a delicious vanilla cake brought in front of you.

everyone waits eagerly. no one brings him up. not even you, as you sink the knife into it and cut a slice.

it’s pink. a gorgeous, pale pink. it’s a girl.

everyone cheers. your mum hugs you and you sniffle into her shoulder while laughing giddiy. a girl, your baby girl.

right then you know what you’re going to call her—you don’t need baby name lists on google or a hundred suggestions from your mother. you already know her name.

mia.

mine and mine alone.

blink and twenty weeks go down to fifteen and ten and then five. each day it seems like you only get bigger and bigger, impossibly so. your life is filled to the brim with baby stuff, inside and out. everywhere you look there’s either a pram or a crib or pregnancy books. every time you get one spare minute you’re reminded of the back aches and sore feet. the constant hunger that just does not seem to go away no matter how much you eat.

your mothers visits increase from only sundays to whole weekends to three days a week.

at first you protest—fuelled by hunger and hormones and mood swings. fuelled by the rage of a thousand burning stars as you stomp into the living room where she’s folding yet another batch of baby socks and blankets.

“you’re suffocating me!” you snap, already on the brink of tears while she looks at you like you’ve grown two heads.

“baby—”

“no! mum,” a deep breath and a few stray tears, “i’m not a baby. i’m having a baby for fucks sake.”

“language!” she scolds.

“stop it, just, please!” there’s not much you can do but stomp your foot like a petulant child. proving her point most likely. “stop acting like i need to be coddled and protected. just. stop!”

your mum looks speechless, too stunned to speak but the ball is rolling and now you cannot stop.

“i don’t need you here. i don’t need you acting like i would crumble and wither away without you. i don’t need you and i certainly don’t need him—fuck!” you gasp for a breath, choking mid-sentence.

the second those words spill out of you, you want to take them back but it’s too late. her eyes are already red-rimmed and glossy. one tear rolls down her cheek and that’s all it takes for you to break down completely.

“fuck!” you repeat. “i’m sorry, mum. i’m so sorry.” that’s the only thing you can chant until she chucks the clothes aside and wraps her arms around you, shushing you the best she can through her own tears.

for the first time in eight months you wonder about what if. and for the first time in eight months, you think about his words from that night.

maybe not for another year or two.

you’re closer now to the one year mark that you’re to that night. mia kicks your insides again—her own version of support or maybe it’s her doling out punishment for never introducing her to her dad. either way, it’s not helping. all it does is spread pain throughout your lower body as you hold onto your mum, rocking back and forth.

“it’s alright, sweetheart,” you mum whispers gently, kissing the crown of your head and cradling you like she used to when you were a kid. it makes your emotions worse. increases the ache tenfold.

“i miss him, mum,” you admit finally, in a voice so small that you might as well not have spoken. but she hears it anyway. she hears it but doesn’t interrupt. she lets you speak.

“every single day i wonder if he even gives a shit. or if he regrets leaving me, leaving us. i speak to adam and carly and i wonder if they ever tell him about me. i wonder if he even cares…”

you gulp down air, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your jumper and cuddling into her further.

“and after everything. i miss him more than anything in this world.”

there it is. the truth, finally out there, finally spilled after months of pretending to be cold and callous. you wait for her to speak, to say something that will dull the pain and release you from this torment but she never gets the chance.

because that is the moment your daughter decides to make her grand entrance.

it’s pain like you’ve never felt before.

pain and panic and unadulterated fear. she’s not supposed to be here yet. you’re only 35 weeks pregnant—nowhere near full term. what if this affects her negatively. you blame and blame—first yourself; you must have done something wrong, right? ate something wrong or not taken the right vitamins or slept the wrong fucking way. then you blame matty. if he was here, you would have never been this stressed and unhappy in the first place. everything would have been smooth-sailing.

and yet a small part of you yearns for him to be here. to brush your sweaty hair away from your forehead instead of your mother as the doctor yells at you to push.

it’s all too much, all too soon. this is not how it’s supposed to be. this is not how any of this is supposed to be.

the machines around you beep in a rhythm that’s all worng—it’s too loud and erratic and out of sync with the rest of the world. surely, that’s not how fast your heart’s beating. maybe the beeping is something else you’re unaware of. and yet your body feels hot and cold at the same time. too weak to move but pushing and contracting and tearing you apart from the inside. you’re vaguely aware of the screams that tear out of you, of gripping your mum’s hand so tightly that you worry, you’ve bruised it.

but she’s strong, stronger than you’ll ever be. she endures and passes along some of that strength to you.

“one more big push,” the doctor encourages. she’s a kind, middle-aged woman. probably someone who’s brought many babies into this world. she knows what she’s doing. but your body won’t cooperate.

all you feel is a bone deep exhaustion that tries to drag you under as your mother taps your cheek.

“a big push, baby,” she repeats. “one big push and her shoulders will be out.”

and that would almost be the end of it, right? so you nod with whatever’s left in you and breathe the way they taught you in birthing classes.

and that’s how it goes. inhale. hold. exhale. gather strength. push. all of it done to a constant stream of rather futile encouragements. until you feel like you’re bursting at the seams and coming undone. about to unravel any moment.

but then a tiny cry echoes around the room and the world comes to a standstill.

mia’s arrival changes everything in the blink of an eye.

you have no time left for self-pity; every waking moment is occupied with feedings and nappy changes and laundry. you sleep when she sleeps, you hold her close every chance you get. you sing her and cradle her and shower her with enough affection for two people. she has you and your mum. she doesn’t need anyone else.

slowly you let other friends and family visit—extremely selective and protective about who gets the priviledge but one afternoon when adam messages you know you can’t deny that to him. even when you’ve tried to keep him, and all of them by entension, at bay.

in another universe, she would have been his goddaughter. you’re sure of it.

so you let him and carly and their son visit, let them hold her and gush over her. carly instantly falls in love with her, cradling her close and trying to make her smile even though she’s just woken up. mia babbles at her and grabs her shiny necklace.

you watch them transfixed, giggling at carly’s squeals and coos until adam asks if he could speak to you alone.

“i don’t want to step over a boundary,” he starts and you know what’s coming but you let him continue. “have you thought about letting him know? that she’s already here…”

“i…” in all honesty, you had wondered if you should call him and let him know. but what if he still doesn’t care. “i didn’t. i couldn’t.”

adam’s face softens. “he’s back in london, you know? you could. you could try.”

that piques your interest. you hadn’t knows he’d left in the first place. “he’s back?”

adam takes a deep breath, eyes darting slightly and lingering on his wife as if he’s trying to steel himself. as if he has some news he’d rather not share. in the end however, maybe he chooses not to.

“yes, he’s back,” he says, trying and failing not to sound cagey. “he wasn’t until now. but if you would talk to him… just, i think you should talk to him.”

for the rest of their visit, his words linger in your mind. they stay even after the hanns leaving, promising another visit whenever you’re free next and you tell them they’re welcome any time. this time, you even mean it from the bottom of your heart.

but adam’s words come back to haunt you day after day as mia continues to grow. day after day you watch her learn about new things and figure out new stuff around her.

matty should be here. if not for him then for her. and once again you wonder about calling him.

one last chance. if he ignores this then he loses the right to his daughter forever.

so one tuesday morning, you gather the courage. you strap your baby to your chest and go downstairs to make some pancakes.

“after breakfast, darling,” you tell her, even though those words aren’t meant for her. “after breakfast we’ll call him again. maybe he will pick up. maybe he won’t.”

mia babbles when you kiss her head and flip a pancake, ignoring the worry that settles in the pit of your stomach. you’re so focused on the task at hand (rather, at ignoring the thoughts of impending doom) that you almost miss the doorbell that rings once and then again.

so focused that you have to scramble to wash your hands and rush to the door. maybe it’s your mum again, even though she wasn’t supposed to come today. it won’t be her first surprise visit, though. she misses her granddaughter far too much for that.

in a hurry you open the door, without even thinking about it twice. without even bothering to unstrap your daughter from your chest.

matty’s familiar face comes into view and for the second time in three months, the world comes to a standstill.

lemme know what you think <33

taglist: @scooby-doodoo, @partoftheairforce, @justgoatsbreakinghearts0855@beachesgetpeaches, @you-muppet, @mcabister, @alexmarie29, @at-her-very-foreign, @hfkait, @squishysoupy@sierraeslaprincesa@harrie-fic-center @alien-girl-violet@thereisaplaceintheheart @kennedy-brooke @lolidontknowanymore @theoriginalwhatsername@celestcies@sugarkane1001 @ari-turner @thewaywewereinsaigon @daphnesutton @beliefandsayingsomething @ros3chu @nothingrevealedeverythingdenied @zzzhealy @mattymybeloved @fck-off @indiaamars

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#matty healy x reader #matty healy x you #angst #read the cws pls!!!#it's very unlikely i will ever write anything like this again #so oh well here we go #matty x you #matty x reader

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ganondoodle · 6 months

Note

Since you said it's ok to send you random ask, i've always found your "monsters" design to be really really gorgeous, and I wanted to know : in any form of media you've interacted with, what's PEAK monster design for you ?

i have been thinking about this ask alot bc ... i dont ... know? theres a problem with what counts as a monster really too, most are either some sort of anthro/furry or the horror gore type of monster that instills you more with disgust than awe

i guess theres some i really like but idk if thats what id call 'peak' (though its rarely JUST the design but their vibe and stuff too);

(its a lot of zelda.. sorry)

Eldra, Farodra and Naydra (engl Dinraal, Farosh(?)) though Eldra is def my fav one of them, i like how they are a little more less typical dragon- with the fur around the neck the floppy ears and kinda goofy face yet manage to be the most ethereal, awe inspiring creature i have ever seen in a game with how they act and are presented as (in BOTW!!! do not mention anythign sonau/zonai with stupid magic pebbles to me about them i will manifest worms into your tea)

Leunen (Lynels) (botw) -i could not find a better picture wtf, fav are white and silver ones) FINE they had some pretty neat new horn designs in totk- idk i just like them alot, rather simple if you think about it, horse lion plus horns- but its so well put together it just kinda scratches my brain in a good way (also how intelligent they clearly are, like the way they fight and act and also even their death animation is so??? huh?? you are just gonna treat them like any other mindless monste- *remmbers they treat ganondorf even even worse all things considered* .. nevermind you're good)

'Beast' Ganondorf (twilight princess) its my favorite beast ganon design (even if it technically is just kinda a man boar .. again) though if ww gan had a non puppet beast form that one would most definitely be my fav lol (i will not get over the fact that some descriptions call this a hideous beast EXCUSE ME???? WHERE???) (honorable mention here, darkbest ganon from botw, pig on fire but it looks cool as fuck)

Nimbusgarde (ww) .. (engl .. darknuts?) do i need to say anything? (i could throw alot of ww design here) not sure if it counts as monster but they are not human so ????

the pathless bosses- (here in order, Cernos, the Godslayer, and Kumo) all of them are rad as hell (except for the final version of the godslayer ... liek im sorry but it looks to boring compared to any other one lol) again not just the design but man do i love them

since i dont know what would count as a monster or no i could just list my fav characters here bfmjbfmjsbmj like radahn (elden ring) is just kinda a zombie, aurelion sol (league of legends) is a space dragon, the forest god in princess mononoke, Narisha (skyward sword- sky whale)- i could go on but this post is long already (honorable mention to Omus in nausicäa, weird bugs but also something divine, though it is much more how they are treated and the vibe etc)

in all honesty though i cant think of one that i would describe as perfect, what i want of a monster design is to be ... cool but also a little weird, big hulking monsters that have something off about them and something that makes them 'other', but also not, as much as i like bloodborne, just bloody gory messes of rotting flesh, AND not just as a monster to kill, i just crave a game or otherwiese piece of media where the cool monsters arent just there for you to kill- the perfect one i guess would be something kinda big scary weird and off but while non verbal clearly not a mindless beast?

and here is the thing; my own characters do not furfill that, my designs are really rather conservative, much to my dismay, anthro of a mix of animals, maybe an extra arm thrown in- Eadrya, one of my favorites, is really just a blueish furry (yes they have fur) and their demon form is a mix of seals and catfish with some extra arms, too many teeth and a mouth that goas wayy to far (if they want) - Shargon is a feather dude with extra arms and his demon form is really just a chinese type dragon crossed with a bird, throw some darts at the color wheel, done

together with my problem of my monster characters losing their 'otherness' vibe within the story rather fast bc the majority of my characters are non human and speak and you see them in all sorts of emotions and parts of life- they lose that divine, unknown vibe and i HATE that that happens, i want them more akin to the forest god in mononoke but thats not possible unless i start from scratch

and i really dont mean to make myself look bad to sound self depre- ... however you spell that; i really am rather dissatisfied with my own designs but mostly just roll with what i got bc i never seem to be able to actually achieve what i want

even my redesigns often really make things LESS interesting (unless maybe the og was just ... human, but they are blue eyed with golden hair and white so that makes them divine you seE-), the skyward sword dragons as i redesigned them made them much more classical dragon, in part intentional bc i was drawing a connection of them becoming the botw dragons at some point, but by all means the canon design is much more weird and unusual than what i did with them, you could apply the same to even demise, his canon design might seem a little uninspired but really what did i do? inject him with some classic satan spice like that makes it in any way less stereotypical evil demon ??? lol

im sorry this post devolved into whatever this is but i really am trying to answer sincerely, i am confused about it myself, what counts as a monster, what doesnt, there must be more that i really loved but why cant i think of them, why do i design characters like this when i really want something much more different, i dont know, i feel like my brain is in a cage, why do i keep making things less interesting in an effort to make it interesting, am i falling into the corporate trap of cool sells who am i what am i doing

(theres a zelda artist with a style so strikingly genuis in shape, color and just .. DESIGN that i want to chew my nails off bc i cannot design like them, their designs and redesigns are so different yet sensical and so full of crisp shapes i have never seen before it drives me nuts and i would want to give them a shoutout but i think they dont like me so aaaaarhekjbfhgdknbgdfklbg)

#ganondoodles answers #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #this ask was so innocent and nice #what did i do to it #me trying to think of my favorite monster design spiraling into me realizing i am making things often more boring than the og #and in general just dont achieve what i want to even with my own creations #i have infinite possiblities of creativity at my fingertips and yet what to i draw #blue furry :)#i feel like an ant that just experienced cosmic horrors of realization #(to be clear- having infinte possibilites and yet deciding to just draw furries is FINE AND VALID if thats what you want #(do -I- want that though??????????????????????

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m1ckeyb3rry · 3 months

Note

CONGRATS ON 500 FOLLOWERS WOOO!! its been a little over a year since ive found your writting, how time flies T-T Could you possibly write a platonic gojo & reader oneshot where its just snippets of Gojo's first year teaching and the reader is a 1st year student not part of jujutsu society? I'd prefer if the mc had a somewhat introverted personality while being grumpy bc of being forced to attend the school. U can change their behaviour to what u feel more comfortable writing if u want tho!!

── THE SCHOLAR

Synopsis: A short snippet of how Satoru Gojo convinces you to be his first student in full.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Gojo & Reader

Chapter Word Count: 2.6k

Content Warnings: not many tbh…reader is a d1 hater of gojo and ino ig?? also just a hater in general LMAO she does NOT want to be there

A/N: wow anon i can’t believe it’s been a year since you found my account and that you’ve stuck around for so long, that means a lot to me!! i apologize for how long this took me and how short it is 😫 it was a bit difficult for me to write gojo as a teacher without feeling like i was just rehashing his dynamic w a previous y/n i’ve written 😓 but i hope this is somewhat close to what you wanted?? also idk if you’ve read my fic pomegranate ink or not but i did throw in a reference to it at one point so props to anyone who catches that hehe

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

You weren’t really sure what cause your classmate had to be as pleased as he was, but for some reason, the boy was bouncing in his seat, scribbling down notes with the fervor of a scholar — though you were quite certain that he was nothing of the sort, at least not when his test scores were taken into consideration.

“Hey,” you whispered, tossing an eraser at his head when your teacher’s back was turned. “Ino. What’s the big deal? We’re not even learning anything yet, so what are you writing down?”

“Are you kidding me? Gojo just told us an entire story of his past. That’s valuable information!” Ino said. You frowned at him.

“It’s not valuable information, because he’s so prone to embellishment that he’s all but an author at this point. Besides, do you think you, or anyone else for that matter, will ever face seven first grades and come out the winner, without even a scratch?” you said.

“He’s the strongest sorcerer in the world, though, so it’s feasible for him,” Ino said.

“Right,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Maybe for him, but not for anyone else. This is just bragging under the guise of an educational opportunity. We’re never going to be powerful enough to replicate such a feat, so what’s the use in wasting our time talking about it?”

“You’re such a spoil-sport,” Ino huffed. “We’re the first students to ever get to learn from Satoru Gojo, and somehow, you’re complaining about it? That’s ridiculous no matter what way you put it!”

“Is everything okay?”

Both you and Ino jumped as Satoru Gojo appeared in front of your desks, peering down at you over the lenses of his dark glasses. He didn’t seem annoyed that you were talking while he was ‘teaching’; in fact, he looked excited, as if he wanted to join in the conversation as well. You could imagine him pulling up a chair and resting his chin in his hands as he gossiped with you, and it made you scoff.

“Everything’s fine. We were just wondering when you were actually going to start the lesson,” you said.

“She was wondering that!” Ino rushed to clarify. You shot him a dirty look out of the corner of your eye, which he ignored — you supposed loyalty didn’t mean much to him, as you two weren’t really friends and therefore couldn’t inspire much loyalty in one another regardless. “I was telling her how fascinated I am by the story you were telling!”

“Suck-up,” you hissed.

“Stupid,” he hissed back. Gojo clapped his hands, returning to the front of the classroom with a distinctly unacademic swagger to his step that made you internally fume.

“No worries, we’re just getting to that part! Today, we’ll go over some basic curse theory,” he said, drawing simplistic shapes on the chalkboard to accompany his explanations. As usual, Ino was absorbed by the standard bullshit Gojo spouted, but you found it to be so boring that you actually began to nod off, catching up on the sleep you had missed last night due to a mission which had run later than expected.

Unlike Ino, who had been automatically enrolled in the school because of his family lineage, you had been scouted as a fresh talent by Satoru Gojo himself. It had been a long conversation, and he had only managed to convince you in the end by telling you all about Kaito Hinode, the well-regarded first year teacher who you would study under. Hinode was a sorcerer you believed you wouldn’t have trouble respecting, and so you begrudgingly agreed to attend the school and give the whole notion of ‘jujutsu sorcery’ a shot.

Then Hinode retired, mere weeks before you were set to begin at the school, and his replacement was revealed to be none other than that irreverent, inept, and decidedly unserious man who you had secretly hoped you would not see much more of: Satoru Gojo.

You didn’t even want to be a sorcerer in active duty, but the theoretical side of it interested you to an almost unhealthy extent. You spent days upon days studying the workings of curses and cursed energy, to the point that you could be considered almost an expert. That was the only thing cheering you about coming to the school, that you’d get to discuss with individuals on your level, and so it had been such a heartbreaking disappointment when Gojo, who cared little about the causes and more about the results, was the only proper sorcerer you came into frequent contact with.

The other teachers didn’t have time to entertain your pestering, far too busy with their own students, which meant that Gojo was really your only option. And of course you had tried — really, you had. You had presented him with your questions and ideas, but he had only made a face and told you that studying curse theory to this extent wouldn’t help anyone, and least of all yourself.

He wanted you to learn how to fight, but you didn’t care for that. You didn’t want to fight. If you could spend the rest of your days shut away in a study, reading your books and taking notes on them, then you’d be quite content. You were reluctant to go on missions, even if you were ten times better than your peers, and you often dragged your feet heading into your practical classes. More than once, Ino had had to hoist you over his shoulders and sprint to the training field so that you were not both late, and you knew that you probably shouldn’t be so harsh on him given that, but because it meant that you had to exert yourself on the battlefield instead of rereading your favorite essays, his good intentions only made you resent him more.

“You know, you could really be a great sorcerer,” Gojo said to you one day. You were sitting on a bench while Ino did exercises, ink smudging your hand as you meticulously annotated a book that the principal had given to you. You blinked up at him, amazed once again at how tall he was. He blocked out the sunlight, his shadow looming over you in a way that would’ve been ominous if he wasn’t so typically harmless.

“Hm?” you said, returning to your book when you realized he wasn’t going to say anything of importance. “Sure, I guess I could be.”

“Becoming a first grade isn’t an impossibility for you. It’s something attainable, which is incredibly rare for someone as young as you,” he continued.

“Right,” you said.

“Do you care about that, though?” he said.

“Nope,” you said. “I have no interest in being a first grade sorcerer. It just means more dangerous missions, doesn’t it? I don’t care about all of that.”

“It also means a higher salary,” he said.

“Probably not high enough to make up for the risks,” you said.

“Well, it’s pretty high, though only you can decide if it makes up for the risks or not,” he said.

“Listen, sir, I’m only even here because you told me I could further my studies with people renowned in their fields. Do you mind telling me what field you’re renowned in? Because for some unfathomable reason, you’ve ended up as my teacher,” you said.

“I’m…the strongest sorcerer? In the world?” he said, though the way he phrased it made it seem like he was asking you instead of telling. You shrugged.

“That’s an intrinsic talent. You didn’t learn to be that way; you were just born with it. Sure, you had to practice, but practicing and studying are different. Anyways, even if you are the strongest soldier, I think we’ve established that that’s not something I’m interested in. I was supposed to be under the tutelage of wise and experienced professors, but instead, I’m being instructed by you, who’s barely even a few years my elder and has never taught before,” you said, closing your book and holding it to your chest, smiling tightly at him. “I’m staying here because my parents already paid the tuition fee, but I’m not happy about it. Just so you know.”

“If you’re a first grade sorcerer, you also get more access to information,” he said after a moment. “Stuff behind a million clearances that only people of a sufficiently high rank get access to.”

You froze, your eyes brightening at the thought of this forbidden knowledge. You already knew that you were missing several key pieces in your preliminary research, but no matter how hard you looked, you had never been able to find the answers to the seemingly obvious questions. Was this why? Was it really because you did not have the seniority to warrant the understanding?

“Is that truly the case?” you said.

“I can’t help you in terms of books and learning and all of that boring stuff,” he said. “But if you put in a bit more effort, I can turn you into someone that the higher ups listen to, instead of the other way around.”

You mulled this over before nodding, standing up and leaving your book on the bench.

“Okay. I’ll do as you tell me to, but like I said earlier, I’m not going to be happy about it,” he said.

“Who cares? You can be the gloomiest girl alive!” he said, reaching out to ruffle your hair. “Let’s work together, Y/N!”

“I’m your student,” you reminded him. “Not your friend.”

He waved you off. “You’re old enough to be both. Now let’s get to training!”

It was horrible, being Gojo’s favorite student. For one, Ino was jealous — although soon enough he found another mentor to cotton on to, and then your relationship with him mended into something a little more cordial and polite. For another, Gojo had this strange penchant for throwing you into impossible situations and watching in glee as you struggled to get out of them.

His missions also tended to be errands disguised as pressing matters. Once, he made you run around Tokyo, stopping in various stores so that you could improve your conditioning — stores which just so happened to carry the items on his week’s grocery list. Another time, you single-handedly had to exorcise every single curse harassing a nearby bakery — a bakery which just so happened to carry a specialty flavor of cake that was his new favorite. Whenever you complained about the silly chores, he asked if the exercise had made you stronger or not. You would begrudgingly admit that it had, and then he’d tell you that you should just think of it as a win-win scenario and stop whining.

“Y/N!” That was how it always began: he would shout your name as he entered the classroom, usually accompanying it with a wad of paper or some other, similarly harmless object sent flying your way. You’d catch it in one hand and glare at him.

“What?” This would prompt him to explain his ridiculous plan for the day, after which he would turn to Ino and hand him his assignments. He had gotten special permission from the school to train you in this non-orthodox manner, given that you were so far ahead in any material that giving you homework would be redundant and a waste of time for all parties involved. For his part, Ino did not complain, for he had long ago lost interest in training with Gojo, who was admittedly terrible at actually explaining anything of note.

You made a good pair, you and Gojo, or at least as good of a pair as could be made given the circumstances. As the year went on, you grew more and more familiar with the reasoning behind his atypical style, and though you would never cease to complain, it was more lighthearted, a habit instead of a genuine gripe.

“You’ll be promoted any day now,” Gojo told you on the last day of your first year — the last day that he would be your director supervisor. “They’re waiting for you to grow a bit older, but it’s maturity you lack, not talent. If you participate in the Exchange Event next year, you’ll get the recommendations you need without a problem.”

“If?” you said, picking up on what he had left unsaid. “Isn’t it mandatory? Why wouldn’t I participate?”

“It’s mandatory if you’re living on campus, yes,” he said.

“And what cause would I have to not be living on campus?” you said.

“You’re interested in curse theory, aren’t you?” he said. When you nodded, he sighed. “Still? I was hoping you’d have moved on by now…well, I can get an alternate course of study approved for you by the principal, if you want.”

“An alternate course? What would that entail?” you said.

“One of my fellow special grade sorcerers, Yuki Tsukumo, specializes in researching the exact types of things you find so fascinating. If she agrees to it, then you could serve as an assistant of sorts to her. It’ll be like an internship or something. She won’t let you slack off — it’ll be much worse than anything I put you through, that’s for certain — but if that’s the path you want to take, then it’s an option,” he said.

You had never loved him quite as much as you did in that moment. Without even taking a moment to think about it, you nodded enthusiastically, beaming at him.

“Yes! Yes, Gojo, sir, that would be ideal. I’ve read some of the proposals Tsukumo’s submitted to the higher ups, and oh, if I got to work with her, it would be such a dream,” you said.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he said. “She still has to agree to it.”

“Do you think she’ll say no?” you said.

“Maybe at first,” he said. “After she meets you, though? No way. You’re my pupil, after all. You’ll be the most impressive student she’s ever taken under her wing — and I can attest to the fact that you’ll be far and away the most dedicated.”

You supposed you had some things to thank him for, then. The corners of your lips twitched as you bowed your head at him, causing him to grunt in confusion; after all, you had never shown him such deference before.

“You’re not that bad as a teacher,” you said. “You know, for it being your first time, I think you did alright.”

“Yeah?” he said eagerly before composing himself, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Yeah, I guess you turned out just fine.”

“Thank you for everything, Gojo,” you said. “Please know that you’ll always have an ally in me.”

His black sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose, just a bit, but enough that you could see the way his eyes softened ever so slightly. Then he reached out and socked you in the arm affectionately.

“Considering how often I butt heads with the higher ups, I might call upon you one day,” he said. “Don’t make that kind of promise lightly, is what I’m saying.”

“I’m not making it lightly,” you said. “If you call upon me, I’ll come. That’s what you do for someone who’s changed your life, right?”

Even the shades he had shoved back into position could not hide the breadth of his smile nor the depth of his fondness. He nodded, slowly at first and then quickly, like he wanted you to be very sure of his agreement.

“True,” he said, and then he patted you on the head. “Guess that means you can call on me whenever you want, too. I’ll be there.”

You smiled at him over your shoulder as you left for the summer and thought that you might never be so fortunate — or unfortunate — as to have a teacher quite like him again.

#gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #reader insert #canon au #m1ckeyb3rry milestone #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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pedgito · 2 years

Note

Ahhh you did my breakup sex request you literally made me cry!!! I had an idea for a part 2(if you ever want to write it lol) so two months after reader starts dating a guy who can be easily her soulmate but she gets bored cuz everything is too perfect (except the sex cuz she can’t help but compares it to eddie) and somehow one night reader ends up in eddies trailer again idk something like that haha. You’re literally the best author your writing is so good, so so talented 🖤

author’s note: i mixed this with another request i got here, but this is a continuation of this request if anyone's reading this before the other part. it's not necessary but the context will help.

cw: 18+ (minors dni), fem!reader, makeup sex?, cheating (sort of? reader is over her boyfriend and he's an asshole so yeah), exhibitionism (barely, they're in private but other people are around), angst, confessions, jason is an asshole, eddie is degrading of the readers bf toward her, multiple orgasms, fights (brief description of injury), lots of smut, ect. let me know if i missed anything!

word count: 6.7k

You can’t even bring yourself to look at him, most of the time. Eddie’s done a perfect job at ignoring, pretending you don’t exist, plucking you out of his life—just like you asked, but you weren’t sure what hurt more—knowing how easily he could move on, or how badly you regretted all of it in the first place.

It didn’t matter that Eddie was struggling every day to not look your direction, hug you, just be in your presence—it was a constant, daily reminder of how badly he’d fucked up. Maybe if he was a better boyfriend, maybe if he paid attention more often and didn't throw himself into everything he loved so passionately, then you would have stayed.

It doesn’t take long for you to move on, but you thrive on codependency, being with someone, and you never expected that person to be Jason—but he just fits, or, you made him fit. You have similar interests, he’s sweet to you when he tries to be, and he always knows how to make you feel special; the sex was another story.

And it wasn’t that Eddie wasn’t sweet or caring—Eddie was all of that, but you melded with Jason on a level that Eddie couldn’t reach, at least that’s what you told yourself.

Jason was performative in a different way—Eddie loved to make a scene, grab everyone’s attention, but the affection he showed you was never meant for show. He kissed you in private, told you all the filthiest things in the world that would have you blushing in public, but those words were meant for you and no one else. He’d hold your hand when you were nervous, or rub your back when you were worried. Eddie always knew when to lean in and when to back away—with Jason, it was never genuine.

He only ever kissed you in front of his friends and constantly bolstered himself up on a pedestal when you were around, like you were just another worthless person to impress—and that’s when you realized that the only thing Jason really needed was approval. He only acted like he enjoyed the same things you did to come off as likable, he bought you expensive gifts to make you feel worthy, and he was everything that every girl could ask for, but not you.

And as horribly as you feel about it, the sex was the breaking point. He was quick and rushed and never focused on anything but himself, it was such a whiplash experience from what you had with Eddie that it left you in tears, most of the time—you’d shove Jason out of your house quickly afterwards, curl up on your bed, and weep until it hurt less. It was your own selfishness that wanted to you to be taken care of too; sex was a shared experience, and you enjoyed it, it only seemed fair that it was equal on both ends. Jason didn’t see it that way, unfortunately.

Jason accosts you in front of his friends at lunch that Friday, his arms winding around your waist as he leans over to kiss you on the cheek, flashing the trademark toothy grin at you.

“You’re coming to the party, right?” He asks, the watchful eyes of others not giving you much of a chance to weasel your way out of his grasp. “Everyone’s gonna be there.”

“I guess,” You shrug, forcing a fake smile as he lets you go just as quickly, taking a seat at the head of the lunch table, “did Lucas ever get back to you?”

“He said he’d go,” Jason taps his fork against the tray, moving the food around, “but he wants me to invite all of them—some shit about being inclusive or whatever.”

“All of Hellfire?” You ask, eyebrows pulling up in confusion. You take a glance over at the table, eyes immediately drawn toward Eddie—he’s already looking at you when you turn your head and he panics, like he’s been caught, and quickly averts his attention toward Dustin.

“They’re all fucking freaks,” Jason says snidely, “If any of them try to ruin my party, they’re dead.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” You assure him, ignoring his obvious distaste and resentment toward the idea. “I doubt they’ll even go.”

“Yeah, let’s hope so.”

Jason abandons you before lunch is over, making a weak excuse about needing to talk to the boys in private—but really, you didn’t care. But, they snatch Lucas up in the process, much to Eddie’s dismay.

So when you finally leave the lunchroom to reach your locker, fiddling with the stupid lock that never wants to open, Eddie corners you. He notices the struggle, the frustrated look on your face, tongue poking out the side of your mouth.

He pulls it from your hand without questions, putting in the code and yanking at the lock with force—it opens on the first time. Eddie doesn’t have the same motivation to act smug about, his mouth pulled into a tight line.

“Thanks,” You mumble, open the locker door to retrieve your school books—he still hasn’t left, “—did you need something?”

“Tell your boyfriend to stop spreading his stink over my table,” He says with a harsh undertone, “it makes everyone uncomfortable—especially Lucas.”

“He’s not going to listen to me,” You tell him, “he never has.”

You two had only been together a couple months, but Jason always had a mind of his own, and was always forcing you to do things you wouldn’t normally do—he had to have that control. You didn’t like fancy dinner dates or extravagant nights out, but with Jason, that’s all you got.

You just wanted movies on the couch and cheap delivery pizza, to talk for hours about books and pop culture, everything that seemed interesting to you, and you wouldn’t even mind hearing him ramble on about basketball—it was the principle of it all, Jason didn’t like to put in the effort.

Eddie always had, you were only realizing that much too late.

And you can’t help your curiosity, mind racing with thoughts.

“Are you going to the party?” You ask, slipping your locker closed, taking a small glance at Eddie.

“Don’t know yet,” He shrugs. Eddie knew when to stay away, but with Jason, he couldn’t help himself, “maybe.”

He knew you were miserable, it was written all over your face, your mood, it had altered your personality into something he didn’t even recognize.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t.” You tell him honestly—it wasn’t a warning or a threat, you were just terrified of what would unfold if he did.

Jason knew of your past with Eddie and as much as he tried not to seem bothered by it, he couldn’t grasp the idea of someone wanting to be paired up with the town freak, Eddie Munson.

“You’re not my boss.” Eddie smirks with an immense amount of smugness.

“I’m not trying to be,” You tell him softly, “I’m just—I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

And it’s a terrible idea, in fact—but it doesn’t stop Eddie from showing up to the party with Chrissy Cunningham by his side.

“Uh, Lucas,” You nudged the boy standing beside you, cup in hand, “did he tell you anything about that?”

Lucas is just as wide-eyed as the rest of the party, gawking at the two of them like animals in a cage. Chrissy is noticeably unfazed, as always, smiling bigger than ever. The cheerfulness wasn’t an act either, it was just her. The only thing different about Eddie is that he isn’t wearing his jacket, which strikes you as odd because he never leaves the house without it, it was like his security blanket.

“No, nothing—“ Lucas takes a glance at Jason, who’s just as tense as the rest of you, but his eyes are brimmed with an anger he only got around Eddie, for whatever reason that was, he never talked about it either, “—you might wanna check on him.”

Jason sees you coming before you even touch him, hand coming up in waiting to wrap around you waist, like you were an accessory. “Hey, it’s fine,” You try to soothe him, your free hand wrapping around his own waist, hoping he’ll turn his attention toward you, “maybe Chrissy didn’t want to come alone.”

“But Chrissy—why her?” Jason asks, voice laced with jealousy. You roll your eyes noticeably, it felt like a losing battle anymore—relationships just weren’t for you.

“Everyone loves Chrissy,” You tell him, his eyes glancing toward you briefly, a micro twitch of his face at those words, “I don’t think Eddie’s immune to that, as much as you want him to be.”

You watch Chrissy yank Eddie toward the kitchen, his feet struggling to keep up as they squeak against the tile floor, letting her wrap his fingers in between hers. You’ve never seen Eddie talk to Chrissy, so it was just as much of a mystery to you.

And you knew the history with Jason and Chrissy, maybe he wasn’t really over her, maybe you were just a rebound—but so was he. That’s why you don’t stop him when he hurdles toward the kitchen, the rest of his posse hot on his tail, aside from Lucas. He grabs your hand before you make the decision to follow, shaking his head in warning.

“We should stay out of it.” He warns, “You know how he gets.”

“Yeah,” You nod pointedly, “That’s exactly the problem.”

“Munson,” Jason’s voice booms over the music, the entirety of the party turning their heads in his direction, ready to witness the carnage, “funny seeing you here.”

“You invited me.” He says, which is more of an attempt to make Jason look like an idiot.

He’s successful, gaining a few snickers and badly disguised laughs with a cough.

“It wasn’t a legitimate invitation,” Jason confesses, “—and Chrissy, wow—that’s a hell of surprise, how do you two know each other?”

They both stumble over their words for a moment before Chrissy finally answers.

“I just asked him,” She settled on, “I didn’t want to come alone.”

It shouldn’t hurt Eddie as much as it did, his ego is wounded—Chrissy was cute, nice, but it was a low blow on her part, since he was the one supplying her with drugs, all while managing to keep it a secret.

“So, pity,” Jason laughs, tipping his cup in Eddie’s direction, “—look, dude, I’d save yourself the embarrassment and just leave—it’s not like anyone wants you here—“

The last part forces you to put a stop to his assault, pulling gently at his arm, not wanting to become a secondary victim to his attack. “Jason, come on—everyone’s staring,” It took you a moment to realize that even the music had died down, all eyes on the four of you collected in the kitchen, ”babe, please.”

Eddie snorts an amused laugh at that, hand coming to rest against the counter top—he wasn’t even looking at Jason anymore, his eyes directly on you. You could see how badly he wanted to say something, make some snide comment, get back for all that you’d put him through—but it’s Jason that attacks instead, albeit, at your expense.

“I see why you like her,” Jason nods toward you, “—the mouth on her, it’s something—say, is that why you came? Did you think she was gonna take you back?”

You’ve never seen Eddie mad, but his face changes on a dime, open hand now closed fist and white knuckled. He could easily take Jason out, but he didn’t want to cause a scene, not in front of you.

But, it’s the next thing out of Jason’s mouth that has him throwing that morale out of the window completely.

“Did you think you could come here and make a trade?” Jason antagonizes—you try to feel hurt, but it almost sounds like a good idea, you couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore, and maybe it had been like that for weeks, but tonight was the breaking point.

Eddie punches first, slamming Jason against the ground as his fist connects with his eyebrows—again and again, until there’s blood covering his rings and Jason’s begging for relief.

No one seems surprised—almost relieved that someone finally dealt with Jason’s shit, but it still pulls at your gut, that guilt as you stared down at him, his eyebrow split open at end, blood pouring and pooling quickly into his hand.

Lucas senses your hesitance, kneeling down at Jason’s side, “Go—get him out of here.” He begs, shoving you away and into Eddie, his fists curled tightly at his side. You yank once, twice, until he finally gives in and lets you drag him away from the majority of the party.

The only unlocked door you can find is Jason’s bedroom, which is a horrible juxtaposition to your life. But, Eddie’s covered in blood and you know there’s enough stuff to clean him up in there, so you drag him along, silently. Eddie can’t even force himself to speak.

You move diligently, locking the door to the larger bathroom, guiding him toward the edge of the counter, squatting down to find the first aid kit under the sink before slamming it against the marble surface, finally breaking Eddie from his trance.

He doesn’t say anything, but his hand extends, allowing you to grasp it. You pull gently at his rings, letting the metal clink into the sink, covered in a sticky crimson red. The impression of his own rings had cut into his knuckles at how hard the blow to Jason’s face had been, his own blood mixed with what you could only assume was Jason’s.

“That was stupid.” You say quietly, turning on the sink to let the water run over the rings, washing away as much blood as you could, guiding his hand under the freezing cold water, it’s even worse than the dull, throbbing pain in his hand.

“Do you let him talk about you like that all the time?” Eddie asks suddenly, face pulled up in frustration, jealousy.

“It’s Jason—who cares.”

“You broke up with me for that?” He pulls his hand back suddenly, annoyed with the bitter cold of the water, but also how dismissive you were being. “Was I really that horrible of a boyfriend?”

“Eddie, no,” You say honestly, guiding his hand back toward you, rubbing a small alcohol patch against the skin, his face seemingly unfazed, “—why does this even matter?”

He goes quiet again, he feels the anger, the resentment, but the last thing he wants to do is take it out on you, not when you’re on the verge of tears—you didn’t even realize amongst all the chaos, it’s only when you finally start to calm, placing the small bandages on Eddie’s knuckles that you feel it settle in.

You clear your throat loudly, shoving his hand gently back toward his chest, slamming the kit closed and returning it to its spot underneath the sink. “Look—I don’t know why you came here tonight, I told you it was a bad idea.”

You face toward the sink, fetching his rings and attempting to wrap them in a towel to dry them, but Eddie stops your movements, taking the balled up material in his hands and placing it back down. “I can look after myself,” He tells you, his undamaged hand wrapping around your bicep, the cold sting of his fingers a shock to your warm skin, feeling overwhelmed and claustrophobic, “—why won’t you look at me?”

You shake your head slightly, eyes downturned and staring at your fidgeting hands, twisting your own dainty rings against the skin.

“Look at me.” Eddie demands softly, “Please.”

He’s met with teary eyes, lips pulled tight to keep any sounds from escaping, his thumb brushes away the stray tear that slips down your cheek.

“Is he always like that?” Eddie asks, whatever anger he felt a few minutes ago forced away, if only for a moment. You needed a friend, he could be that.

You shake your head, unable to admit it to yourself. “Not always—it doesn’t matter, Eddie. I just need to go back downstairs and tell him I’m leaving—he can finally try and get Chrissy back, I know that’s what he’s after.”

“We were coming from a deal,” Eddie tells you abruptly, your eyes pulling up to him in confusion, his hand still resting against your cheek. He hasn’t moved it and you couldn’t be bothered to move it either, “—she’s one of my regulars.”

You laugh at the absurdity, giggle bubbling from your chest. “Chrissy, seriously? God—Jason would shit himself if he knew that.” Then again, maybe he did—and maybe that’s why he hated Eddie so much. You didn’t care to find out, Jason was the last thing on your mind.

Still, you couldn’t help but be upset at Eddie for being so irrational, causing a scene, you slap him in the chest suddenly, soft at first, but harder until he has to grip your hands, forcing you to stop. “That was stupid! Why would you do that?”

“I did that for you?” He responds passionately, and it pulls you back, surprised that he even admits it out loud. “Is that such a fucking shock that some cares about you?”

“We’re not together anymore.”

“Yeah—I’m very fucking aware of that,” Eddie snaps, “but I still care, I was your friend first, remember that?”

You’re silent, startled by his words. He’s not angry—just, upset.

“You threw all of that away,” Eddie tells you, “not me—not when I cared about you, liked you, fuck—I almost—I almost thought I loved you, you know?”

“Eddie—“

He doesn’t stop, a never ending flow of confessions. He was pouring his heart out to you in the middle of your ex-boyfriends party, hand still pounding with pain, and done with holding back for so long.

“You were worried about us not liking the same things? That I spent too much time on the things I enjoyed? You didn’t even communicate that to me,” Eddie takes a breath, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration, “maybe I was selfish for asking you to have sex with me that night, but I don’t regret—I never regretted anything in our relationship and if you hated me so much, you should’ve never committed yourself to it.”

“Eddie, I don’t regret anything—“

“And you start dating Jason, really? Jason?”

“Eddie!” You shout, and Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever heard you yell, stopping for a brief moment to hear you out. “I’m sorry—I should’ve never broken up with you the way I did.”

“Well, you did.”

And you feel it hit you, the urge to say it—it felt like you’re world was closing in on you and if you didn’t say it now, you’d never have the chance,

“I wish I’d never broken up with you at all.” You say softly, taking a step back to lean against the sink, hit with a sudden wave of vertigo or dizziness, the adrenaline of it all finally wearing off, “I can admit that now.”

“You don’t mean that.” Eddie says quietly, hand braced between you too, almost as a defensive mechanism. “Not after making me doubt everything about us.”

“You never did anything wrong,” You admit to him, “I was being selfish, I didn’t want to communicate—I just wanted things to be perfect—my perfect, but I don’t even know what this is now.”

“Relationships aren’t perfect, sweetheart.” He says soothingly, hand fading back slightly, “I’m pretty sure it’s impossible.”

“I’m starting to realize that.” You laugh bitterly, reflecting on all the stuff Jason had put you through, physically and mentally. “Look, I’m really sorry, Eddie.”

“It’s okay.”

It was not okay, but Eddie wanted to make you feel safe, even if he needed time to process everything himself.

You reach your hand forward to slip in his own, his fingers squeeze gently in return, like no time has passed at all. The low hum of the music from downstairs is overwhelming in the silence.

“I can take you home?” Eddie suggests, wanting to ditch this place just as bad. “If that’s what you want.”

You laugh softly at his weak attempt to be chivalrous, even if he was still upset with you, and it doesn’t dawn on you until you’re staring at the locked door of the bathroom, staring at Eddie, that you realized just how pissed you are at Jason—you were so caught up in making sure Eddie was alright that you forgot how cruel Jason had been toward Eddie, at your own expense. And if there was one parting gift you could leave Jason with, it would be this.

Eddie sees it too, the look in your eyes, like a silent agreement that whatever was to happen was just that—you could leave it here and forget about it afterwards, avoid the long awkward talk—just enjoy each other, because you knew you both needed it so desperately.

He’s on you instantly, arms looping around your middle to lift you up onto the counter, spreading your legs open until he is snug, fit between you like the last piece of a puzzle, exactly when you need. His hands are calculated, rough, yanking your head back until your mouth meets his and it feels fucking amazing.

You haven’t been kissed like this in a long time, overwhelmed by the sensation that you gasp loudly, eyes glaring into Eddie’s, his relaxed stare turning heated, his other hand slipping under your thigh, locking it around his hip until your cunt is pressed against the growing tent in his pants. He’s desperate for control and you can’t be bothered to fight it, letting him pull your head back until you’re grunting in pain, his lips latching into your neck greedily, leave a sizable bruise that’s too hard to ignore—and usually you aren’t one for hickeys, but you can’t be bothered to say no. You wanted it.

“Fuck, he really doesn’t touch you like this, does he?” Eddie asks redundantly, he knows Jason can’t, won’t—he’s unable to care about anyone but himself. “I’ve barely even kissed you and you’re already worked up.”

His hands push along the squishy flesh of your thighs, underneath the flowing material of your skirt until his fingertips bump your hip bones, squeezing tightly at the skin until you’re yelping, the small tickling sensation driving you wild.

“Answer me, sweetheart.” He demands, leaning forward to sneak his tongue out against your top lip, teasing you greatly before dipping down to slip his tongue past your lips completely, kissing you sloppily. “Need to hear you admit it.”

“He doesn’t,” You rush out through smothered kisses, the sound of your voice swallowed up by Eddie and his eager mouth, “haven't even—he doesn't make me come, it’s been so long.”

“How long?” Eddie asks softly, tipping your chin up with his fingers, pulling back slightly to look at you. “Tell me.”

“Since I’ve had an orgasm?”

He nods, thumb pulling at your bottom lip until it slips away.

“A couple days,” You tell him; it wasn’t a lie, “maybe three.”

“I’m not talking about doing it yourself,” He smiles, the warmth of his breath hitting your face, “has he ever made you come?”

You shake your head, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Eddie makes a small noise of astonishment, not that he’s entirely surprised, but that you allowed it to go on for so long—you, of all people. His hand slips around the back of your neck, thumb pressing against the point where your jaw meets.

“Let’s fix that, yeah?” He nods, urging to move off the counter and follow him. “Lock his door.”

The his makes it even worse, realizing how dirty this feels—but you can’t be bothered to care. You both make a hurried attempt at unlocking the bathroom door, letting Eddie flip the light switch on while you fumble clumsily with his lock, alight with nerves you’ve never felt before, hands shaking with anxiety.

Eddie noticed your hesitation, invading your space until he’s lodged between you and the door, head tilted down to look at you, “Hey—we don’t have to—“

You laugh at yourself, eyes squeezing shut, nose scrunching up in amusement. You feel ridiculous. It was Eddie. Eddie. You had nothing to be worried about.

“God—shut up,” You say endearingly, squeezing his face in your hands until he’s leaning forward to kiss you, large hands traveling down your thighs until you’re jumping into his grip, letting him carry you to the neatly made bed, no doubt to be ruined in a few moments, “—fuck, do whatever you want, I don’t care.”

Eddie cups your cunt, fingers tracing gently over the thin material of your underwear, his eyebrows quirks up in question.

“Yeah?” You nod furiously, the way you jerk at the smallest bit of pressure has him shaking his head in disbelief, “He couldn’t even touch you? You’re kidding me?”

You don’t answer and it causes Eddie to pull back, fully questioning every part of your relationship with Jason; it was a mystery how he could withstand touching you, almost seeming disgusted by it—it baffled Eddie to the point of speechlessness.

“Foreplay? Anything?” Eddie asks.

You shake your head, Eddie tuts softly in response.

“Sweetheart, you deserve so much more.” He says honestly, and you could burst into tears if you weren’t turned on right now, cunt pulsing at every minor touch Eddie made against your opening, sliding slowly up to the sensitive nub of your clit.

“Look at you,” He says tantalizingly, head tilted up slightly in a way to mock your own, your own head tilting back toward the pillows, mouth open on a wordless gasp, “I think I can make you come before I’m even inside you.”

You couldn’t even argue, it was absolutely possible.

Eddie carefully slips his hand up and under the thin barrier of your panties, the first bare touch of his finger like electricity, sliding through your slick and back toward your clit, the ease of friction was too much, your hand grabbing desperately at his forearm, the muscles flexing underneath your grip with every movement. Eddie leans over you more, free hand rising to brush the loose hair from your face, thumb rubbing gently against your forehead, his wide eyes boring into your own.

You moan without shame, openly and allowing the sounds to mix with the steady beat of the music. Eddie’s enjoy it too much, mouth opening with every sound you made, another easy attempt to mock you, flashing his big smile every time you caught on, but it didn’t stop you—and it definitely didn’t stop him. He’s rubbing deliberate, tight circles against your clit, determined to get you off quickly and break that long running streak that Jason had forced you into—none of that existed anymore.

“Eddie, huh—I’m gonna,” You breath catches, back arching off the bed as he stops for a moment, leaning forward to bite along the side of your jaw, gently at your cheek, whispering into your ear.

“Where are your manners?” Eddie asks softly, “Didn’t forget them, did you?”

“Fuck, please—please, Eddie. I can’t take this.” You beg, moaning loudly as he continued his movements, with fervor and quickness, “—oh, Eddie—I’m so close—just want to come, please?”

“Go ahead.” He whispers softly, face resting gently against the side of yours as you come with a drawn out moan, hips jerking through your orgasm, his middle finger working you through the high until you finally come back down, tapping gently at his hand until he finally gives you some relief, his smile entirely too smug.

“He’s really missing out,” Eddie tells you, voice soft, “You look so pretty when you come.”

And you don’t think you’ve ever blushed harder, shoving Eddie’s face away from yours playfully, giggling when he nips at your shoulder. You could drag this out, indulge in everything you missed out on for the last couple of months, but you really just wanted Eddie inside you—sex with him was…palpable. There was always a charge of something within it, a connection that you didn’t have with Jason—it was like a drug.

“I could say the same thing for you,” You tease, yanking Eddie down against you, letting him shift until he’s settled between your legs, “—but I think I might need a refresher.”

Eddie pulls at his belt, shirt lifted halfway up his stomach as he works against the material, tossing his belt, then pants to the side—and somehow manages to pull your skirt and panties down in one go, save for your shirt. “Condoms?” He asks, when he’s finally settled back between your legs.

Fuck, you really should have thought about that.

You lean over to the bedside table, rummaging through Jason's cluttered drawer and finally find the box, albeit empty, as you turn it over to shake out on the bed, discarding the useless cardboard.

Eddie chuckles from beside you, palming at his hard cock, your own face still filled with worry, anticipation. “Won’t be the first time, right?” You shake your head sheepishly, “—did he ever—“

You couldn’t stand the idea of sex with Jason without a condom, it was never a consideration or a question—it was the rule.

Another small head shake, Eddie’s grin grows wider—he’s unashamed and cocky as he hands roam his cock, tugging leisurely, he notices your gaze pulling to his hands—and it’s been so long, you just can’t help yourself.

“You want it?” Eddie asks teasingly, his free hand coming down to run through your folds, “You think you deserve it?”

The real answer is no, but you nod your head anyways, your hand coming up to yank at the bottom of his shirt, pulling him forward, cock nudging the top of your cunt lightly.

“Don’t go quiet on me now,” He chided, rubbing the leaking tip of his cock down the seam of your cunt, his breath slightly labored as he leans over you, twisting the thin cotton of your shirt in his hands, using it as leverage to pull you against him, his hips rocking gently, “do you, sweetheart?”

You gasp softly, your grip on his shirt tighter, the holds on each other like a vice, using one another as anchors, keeping yourself grounded in the moment. “Look at you,” He nods toward your soaked cunt, his dick glistening from your wetness, “—she missed me, didn’t she?”

You nod fervently, “Now answer my question,” Eddie says again, voice low and riddled with a timber that has you clenching around nothing, “do you deserve it?”

“No,” You say honestly, pathetically, but you still lift your hips up higher, forcing him to slip into you momentarily, his hips rocking away in response, “—I don’t, Eddie.”

“That’s right,” He nods, another soft tug at the shirt twisted in his hands and you rock against him once more, “—but I’m feeling generous.”

And he slips in slowly, without warning, your mouth open on a soundless whine as he stretches you open, his face drawn up in concentration. “Fuck—“ He groans, the hand that isn’t holding onto your shirt settles at your side, his thumb pressing against the outline of your hipbone as you breath, adjusting to him—he was bigger than Jason, more confident, and you felt it immediately, “—feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah—yes,” You nod, letting out a soft moan at his gentle thrust, his eyes never leaving your face, half lidded and dark—his eye contact drove you wild, something you’ve never felt before him, he fed off of the connection, wanting to watch you fall apart underneath him, but you were selfish and couldn’t help watching either, “take care of me, Eddie—please?”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” He says mockingly, a few more forceful thrusts that had Jason’s bed rocking against the wall, you couldn’t be bothered to care, too caught up in the moment. “—god, it’s been weeks, months since—“

“Since we’ve been together, yeah—I know,” You didn’t want to relive that pain, not with him deep inside you right now. “Let’s not talk about it.”

Eddie’s chuckle dies out on a groan as your cunt clenches around him, already over sensitive from your orgasm a few minutes ago, “I was trying to say since I’ve had sex.” He admits and you can’t help but look shocked.

“You—you haven’t—oh,” You gasp, a sharp snap of his hips has you grasping the sheets, untucking the nicely made bed, “—you really haven’t had—“

Eddie shakes his head lazily, fucking into you at a steady rhythm now, the mix of your moans overpowering whatever music was playing downstairs and if anyone was to turn it down, they’d surely here what was happening several feet above them.

“He doesn’t like you—like this, does he?” Eddie asks harshly, his gaze heated and powerful, his hand loosening from your shirt to slip under your thighs, lifting them up at an angle that has you whining loudly, his cock slipping out of you momentarily before sliding back in roughly, “—can’t even look at you, it’s a fucking shame.”

You nod dumbly, agreeing with whatever he had to say. “He only ever—fuck, he only ever wanted me on my hands and—my, my knees,” You struggle to say, Eddie’s hands squeezing at your thighs relentlessly, pulling you wide and open, his gaze locked on the space where you two were connected, watching himself disappear again and again, mumbling soft, sweet praises that had you stomach clenching with pleasure, “—s’not like this, never like this.”

Eddie’s so lost in his own pleasure that he doesn’t respond, mouth hung open slightly as he moved against you, his soft, pink lips and deep contrast from his flushed face, the sweat of his face making his bangs stick to his forehead, he wouldn’t even remember his name if you asked him.

“Eddie,” You say softly, broken on a gasp as he finally looks at you, his eyes there, but distant, “—I can take over.”

“Fuck, please—“ He sighs, flipping you both over without much problem, your hips locking around his own instinctively—the pace you set is overwhelming and Eddie moans out—if they didn’t know what was going on before, they surely did now. You couldn’t be bothered to care, though.

“Wanna see your tits,” Eddie confesses, fumbling with the bottom of your shirt, “—please, baby.”

It’s a momentary slip, but neither of you address it. You slip the shirt over your head quickly, tossing it off to the side as Eddie leans up, his mouth latching over your breast without hesitation, sucking gently at the flesh, his other hand blindly wrapping around your neck, not squeezing, but resting.

You lean into it, a silent agreement to what he was asking, rocking your hips desperately against his cock, a feeble sound of acknowledgement slipping from your mouth, “Uh huh,” You answer, his face pulling away to look at you, “it’s okay.”

His hand tightens slightly, the pressure another added sensation. Eddie aids in the harsh bounce of your hips, ass slapping loudly against his thighs as he forces back a plethora of moans, trying to save you both some decency when you find the courage to walk downstairs.

“What did I tell you?” He says harshly, neck angling up as he shifts his hand, “That night—when you broke up with me—say it.”

“Never—never would find someone,” You gasp suddenly, the hand not wrapped around your throat coming to work against your clit, his movements quick and deliberate, “—that fucks me like—fuck, like you do—no one takes care of me like you do.”

“Shit—and I was right, wasn’t I?” The fact that he even has the nerve to be so bold at a moment like this is pushing you over the edge, the feeling, the sensations, the anger in his voice—it was all the built up tension Eddie had held back finally breaking free, and you couldn’t take it.

“Yes,” You whine, movements slowing against him as you came, your hands bracing against his chest as you rode out the orgasm, his own hands struggling to latch onto your thighs, the precipice of his own release near, struggling to focus on your words, “—there’s no one, Eddie—fuck, no one like you.”

“Say my name like that again,” He pleads through gritted teeth, “want him to hear you say my name.”

“Eddie.” You say on a sigh, his eyes falling shut as his thighs tense, his movements erratic, sloppy—

“Louder,” He begs, falling back against the ruined bed, pillows and blankets askew, “fuck—say it louder.”

“Eddie,” You moan loudly, mostly out of performances but it’s also just felt so fucking good having him inside you again, moaning out his name with no shame, “—fuck, Eddie!”

“Shit,” He curses, “Move—sweetheart, please.”

He’s there, right there—but you can’t be bothered to care.

“Want you to come inside me, Eddie.” You tell him softly, “Please?”

And if wasn’t the sound of your voice that did him in, it was the faint pout on your face as you sunk down for the last time, his cock spilling inside you, groaning loudly through his orgasm, cursing at the sheer force that it hits him with, “—that was—fuck—“ He breathes out, his shirt sticking to his chest with sweat, “—Jesus Christ.”

Your face pulls up in a smile, watching Eddie process everything, his hands squeezing at the flesh of your thighs gently, comfortingly. It takes him a few minutes, but eventually he comes back down, staring at you with a look that makes you feel vulnerable.

“That was so much better than break up sex,” He laughs tiredly, tugging at your arm until you fall against him, hands braced on either side of his head, “—can I kiss you?”

You nod slowly, his hands lifting your hips to pull himself out of you, but the kiss soothes the loss, warm touches traveling up your spine as he slips his tongue past your lips, kissing you so full it’s overwhelming—the kind of fullness that came with love and history and emotion, you knew you weren’t over Eddie, and he wasn’t over you.

“How are we supposed to walk back downstairs and act normal?” You ask with a lilt, face turning a soft shade of pink at the idea that everyone would know the second they laid eyes on you.

Eddie sits up, bringing you with him—“You should probably clean up first,” He points out knowingly, “and I need my rings.”

“Shit—oh, shit,” You completely forget, so caught up in everything, Eddie helps you off of his lap, throwing your clothes as you run through the bathroom entryway, disappearing for a moment while he dressed, “—can you fix the bed?” Your voice carries, the distant sound as you rustle around, grabbing Eddie’s rings.

“Fuck him,” Eddie scoffs lightly, mocking the offended look on his face as you peer around the door, rings clasped in your hand, “—seriously, fuck him.”

You shake your head with amusement, handing him his jewelry, watching him shove them into the pocket of his jeans.

“You should have thought about that before we fucked in his bed, sweetheart.” And you hated him for being right. “—let me drive you home.”

“Fine,” You sigh, “—but this does not mean we’re back together, Eddie. I still have to break up with him.”

Eddie laughs softly, hand reaching forward to tip your chin up, his thumb rubbing against your bottom lip, “I never said anything about getting back together, sweetheart—but if that’s really what you want—“

You shake your head gently, “We can figure it out—I don’t expect anything after how I broke up with you.”

Eddie smiles, pulling your chin up high, his lips barely grazing against your own, “That isn’t gonna stop me from fucking you, though—someone’s gotta take care of you.”

And it didn’t sound bad at all—everything was complicated, you didn’t know how you could make things work after breaking up with Eddie the first time, but you were willing to give it time; figure things out.

“Now, you’re gonna go look Jason in the eye,” Eddie waits for your nod of understanding, “and break his heart.”

His devilish smile was enough to make you do anything if he asked.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #my writing #1kfic

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