#maybe tmi but i hate getting sick because of how Off i feel and just how aware of it i am so any improvement is like <3<3<3 for me

[spicebiter]

Ohhhhhh my god I've got that cold my roommates gave me and I got to the sinus congestion stage, bad enough it made my jaw hurt and my brain all swimmy yknow. And I used that trick where you use a massage wand along your sinuses and fuuuck I feel ten pounds lighter and my brain works again! I hate getting sick but that relief of getting mildly better is somethin

[facewithoutheart]

Personal update after the break ❤️ heed the tags

I’ve always been a bit of a TMI mess so just throwing this out there because a) I like people knowing this but hate updating people individually and b) it’s helping me process.

At the end of my 2.5 week South American vacation with my husband I came down with what I thought as food poisoning. (Or, at the very very start, acute hatred of crowds at museums.) Anyway I went back to our hotel and started puking for about 18 hours. Which was a problem, given we were meant to go home the next day. Eventually my husband agreed with me that I was not getting better and we delayed our flight for another day.

On Jan 3 at about 3pm I finally felt normal. Like, I got an appetite. It was amazing. I sent my husband on a mission to bring me food and took a celebratory nap.

This is likely when my appendix burst.

I woke up in severe pain. Like. Severe. 6 or 7 on the pain scale. We waited all night but nothing made it better. Eventually my husband got me dressed and ready for the flight because a) we still thought this was a really bad case of food poisoning (I made him google appendicitis since the pain was that bad but nothing we read made it sound like that’s what I was experiencing.) and b) whatever was hurting me we wanted to be back in our own country where we had access to more resources and spoke the same language. My husband can speak some Spanish, but struggles with vocabulary, and this wasn’t a situation where we wanted to miss things in translation.

I was under the delusion that if I could just curl up in my own bed everything would be better.

Onward through a bumpy cab ride, pre-customs (where I had to sit on my luggage to not pass out… keep in mind I’d barely eaten anything besides some water and Colombian pedialyte for 2.5 days), get through security, walk to the gate (by this point every movement of my feet felt Sisyphean), get through a second, special, just for me baggage check where I had to take off and put my shoes on (seriously cannot overstate how painful that was), and then suffer through a 6 hour turbulent flight. All without looking sick because we were afraid they wouldn’t fly us home if I looked sick.

Ok! So now we’re back in the states. I am holding on for my comfy bed (remember: delusionally). We get through US customs in a surprisingly efficient manner, then head for our Lyft with Larry. Oh, Larry. He was the world’s slowest driver, bless him.

We get home, I pout at the bed until my husband put the sheets on, and then immediately flopped onto them.

And did not feel better. Worse, actually.

After being betrayed by the bed that was meant to cure me, I made more sad noises at my husband until we decided to call in the A team: my sister, the nurse.

She didn’t answer.

So I called my mom. Or, I called my mom and made my husband talk to her while I continued to make sad noises. We all have our coping mechanisms. She told us to go to urgent care, which is a shock if you know my mom. She’s minimized my illnesses my whole life so when she said, “Christina doesn’t complain about being sick until she’s really sick so maybe you should get it checked out.” Then my sister called back and helped talk us into a stand-alone ER which has facilities much like a standard ER but much faster and with a private room.

That’s probably the purpose of this whole story so holding it again: I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I saying going to a stand-alone ER (in the US) saved my life. Or at least helped avoid an invasive longer recovery surgery. To find one, you’re basically looking for an ER associated with a main hospital group, but not inside the main hospital compound. They’re a little hard to find so that’s the best I can do.

Ok so onward to the stand-alone ER. I’ll remind you at this point we’re still operating under the idea that I have really bad food poisoning, maybe severe dehydration. We get to the ER, check in, get taken back to the room, sing our story for some IV fluids, and I even got a warmed up blanket.

Heaven, if you ask me.

Fast-forward: they do a series of tests on me and conclude that my appendix has ruptured, possibly some time ago, and it’s imperative that I get surgery. Like, appendix where are you? They can’t even see it lol. They do double check my gall bladder just in case, which is another common problem FYI keep that in mind people who were born female.

Now the only question is whether or not I get a bed. Keep in mind I’m sitting pretty. The warm blankets, remember? The hospitals nearby are all full. People in the hallways waiting for care. Not ideal! The doctor tells his own horror story about his father being unable to find a room in a hospital to wait for surgery that will come 🤷‍♀️. (Coincidence: this doctor was Peruvian so that was fun! Since we’d just been.)

Luck is on my side because there’s a surgeon who will take me straight to the operating room. I get an ambulance ride (no sirens ☹️) but I do have a fun, chatty EMT who gawks at the number of ambulances stuck in the ambulance dock at the hospital to which I’m transferred. (Another bonus: the hospital is five minutes from my house.)

I pretty much immediately go into surgery. “Teetering” is the word the surgeon used about how bad I was doing. My husband estimated that I likely wouldn’t have survived another 24 hours in that condition. Fun times! Something to process later.

Moving on. I’m two days post-op, feeling great (great enough to write this!) and I’ve moved onto clear liquids, which is so awesome you guys. JELLO! ON PRESCRIPTION! I had a grape slushee yesterday, things are swinging back my way. I do have recovery issues (need to poop ☹️ need to get my ng tube removed ☹️☹️☹️ need to be able to blow a little green tube until it reaches 2,000 or something), but I’ve reached a stage where recovery is measurable so omfg my engineer husband is so happy. He has notes. He is getting a whole thrill out of making doctors explain things to him like he’s an idiot. Aside from the fact, you know, his wife’s appendix tried to kill her or whatever and the fact he’s got to actually go into the grocery store.

Meanwhile I get to measure my success in farts, which is really fun. The surgeon was like “I know you ladies don’t like talking about gas” and I was like “sir you saved my life with minimally invasive surgery but I cannot begin to tell you how little I care about talking about farts. Farts, farts, farts.” And then tried to see if we knew any of the same doctors so he’d pull my ng tube faster. No dice. He used this thing called “logic” and also “your belly was full of puss that I had to suck out so maybe do what I say” blah blah blah (no seriously I am super grateful for him; modern medicine, hospital system mess aside, is a marvel and I’m so happy I live in a world where a laparoscopic surgery was able to treat my issues with minimal side effects).

Anyway, that’s my story! Appendixes: sleeping nightmares, apparently. Lurking. Even when you’re 36 and way past appendicitis phase if you ask me. Way more trendy for a woman my age to have gall bladder issues.

Also: props to every man who said there’s no way a man would ever let this issue get as bad as I did because of my insane pain tolerance 🤣 like, thanks for the shout-out but I could do without the hospital stay.

Second shout out to my amazing husband who has been such a champ, getting me things, pushing doctors for answers, advocating for me, and also taking time to slap my ass every time I accidentally flash him with my very sexy hospital gown. He knows how to make me feel both cared for and alive. Ugh I’m gonna cry just thinking about how grateful I am to him. I won’t even make fun of him for WALKING INTO A SONIC SERIOUSLY WHO DOES THAT YOU ANIMAL but I will tease him for googling appendix and saying, “Do you know they don’t even know what the purpose of an appendix is?” Like. Honey. Yes, everyone knows that. But I pretended to be surprised anyways because, like I said. Champ.

Also my husband said my lung exercise machine looks like it has “a dick” which was exactly what I was thinking. Fist bumps. Never grow up.

The end!

[juniperhillpatient]

How’s it going @juniperhillpatient ?

So I watched the two most recent scream movies for the first time this weak. Starting on Friday night and finishing on Saturday morning. They were entertaining, see I’ve only ever watched the original first one years ago but the connections between the films were interesting.

To get to the question, I recall that one of your Azutara AU ideas is a Scream fic ( along with the IT Au). In it I think one of your post in the past stated that Azula would be (slightly) based on Sam? If so, would that then make Ozai Billy Loomis? If so, I’ve got to say depicting Ozai as a deranged murder would be oddly appropriate. What with the emotional and physical abuse of both his spouse and his kids, along with the attempted genocide and all.

Oh! I also greatly enjoyed todays (well yesterdays) chapter in Happenstance. I’ve got to say though, I’m with Azula, Katara not turning in Hama is a very… injudicious decision. What happens when Hama decides to no longer go after corrupt officials like she did in chapter (one of whom has a family!) and she decides to go after innocent people (as she did in canon). What if Hama decides to escalate from just hostage taking? What if lives of innocents, of children even are lost her quest? That’s starts of with noble intentions, but become corrupted. Becoming in reality just hate of Fire Nations under the façade of environmentalism? Are Katara/Yue/Jet prepared for that possibility?

Or would Jet, Katara, and Yue not care cause those innocent people are Fire Nation? Naw just using rhetoric for Katara and Yue. They obviously would care. But Jet? Him I’m not 100% sure about.

It would have been better to get rid of threat (Hama) earlier on by turning her over. Than again, some police can be corrupt (though I use the world loosely) so maybe they were also right not to turn her over?

It’s a bit of a head scratcher, ain’t it. Which is awesome by the way. It’s fun reading these little moral quandaries and philosophical question in a sitcom fic. Questions like, is it okay to harm others we deem immoral to bring about ends that we believe to be an objective good? Can intrinsic good come from an extrinsic evil? Essentially, does the ends justify the means? And how far is too far? Happenstance is great in that and In all ways! Especially horror, romance (it’s Azutara so that’s a given 😉) and comedy.

Thank you for indulging my ramblings. I hope everything is well on your end. I recall a post from earlier speaking about your cat preventing you from cashing a check at your bank. Your bank decided to come to you right? To give a house call as it were? It’s the polite thing to do after all.

745 voice of the people

Hello! It could be going better. I am suffering because I’ve been sick on & off for like a fucking month & it’s starting to feel like God hates me 🥲 However, it could also be going worse. My mommy gave me money for groceries even though I told her not to because she is the best & she knows how much work I’ve missed due to illness so I have lots of good food & also hot chocolate with marshmallows 💜🙏

Anyway I am sure you didn’t expect that TMI when you asked how it’s going but I’m a dramatic rambly bitch 😌 I hope you are doing good yourself 💜

I am so happy you watched the new Scream movies 🍿 Most iconic series of all time honestly. Yes, Ozai would be a version of Billy Loomis in this AU! However, keep in mind this is all just ideas & not a real project in the works just yet 😉

Anyway I don’t have too too much to add to your analysis on the moral dilemma from last week’s Happenstance because I want to purposefully leave it open. I like posing these quandaries without creating a firm resolution just like there wouldn’t necessarily be in real life sometimes! Of course - Hama may just show up again. We will see!

I will say - Katara & Yue would definitely feel guilty if someone innocent got hurt because of their choice not to turn Hama in. Also, even though Jet hates the Fire Nation, he is dating Zuko & friends with several Fire Nation characters by now including pretty much best friends with Azula. So…. Could he really justify it if innocent Fire Nation civilians got hurt at this stage of the story? Tricky. Unlike Katara & Yue I don’t think he’d have much trouble justifying it if someone like Ichiro or Daisuke got hurt. While the girls would feel guilt over anyone being harmed, I think Jet would have a more pragmatic attitude if the people getting hurt were doing a lot of harm. The only reason he stood up to Hama in the end was that she hinted at plans to “subdue” Katara & Yue if they didn’t go along with her ideas. So, he was probably the least opposed to kidnap of the three. But I don’t think any of them would be okay with it if Hama hurt innocent people down the line - which is not out of the realm of possibility if it served a cause she cared about.

Anyway- I said I wouldn’t add & then I did! I love rambling about my story too much 😁

I seriously love your analysis & thoughts on this head scratcher! Thank you SO much for sharing 💜💜💜

[blackvail22]

she is so disgusting

the more i think abt the things my mom has done the more concerned i get

like

the weird questions creepy men would ask, or things weird men do, she asks/does

and i guess i didnt see it until recently

but it makes me feel so sick.

and i cant talk abt it w anyone because its tmi like REAAAALLLYY tmi and it makes me feel gross

i guess the only person i could talk abt it w is my sister????

and maybe my counselor if im vague enough?

but

the fact that she would say those things, touches me randomly (even in the forbidden places), gets pissed off when i tell her to stop and that i dont want to be touched so she does it again?

like

oh my god

im so disgusted rn genuinely

im starting to think my parents were/are really that bad but were good at "hiding" it aka i was oblivious.

because i should not be able to say that i experienced those things

theres no way thats normal

actually, no.

its not normal, and i shouldnt be able to say that my parents did that

this actually makes me want to scream because i dont have counseling tmrw because i was scheduled at work during ny appointment. i shouldve just compromised w my boss because i cant do this man

"i used to joke abt how much i hated my mom until i was about 33. she wasnt a bad mom, she just did things a normal mom should, like look out for me"

well, coworker, if i told you all of the things my mom has said and done to me, you would realize that our situations are NOT the same

my mom is a bad mom... thats our difference

my mom told me that she didnt like me, told me she wanted me to die, has * * *, asked me a question no one should be asked unless by an intimate partner. my mom blames me for her life being bad. she told me that out of all of her children, im her least favorite, thats including my sister, who disowned her.

my mom tries to control me, and because im trying to fight back, her world is crumbling. im not the naive kid i used to be.

i just wanted a normal, good life.

i will never have a normal one, but i can try to have a good one... and it doesnt start until im away from her

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #057

Are you anything like your siblings? I mean in some ways, sure, but I really am mostly dissimilar to most of them. According to Mom though I AM very much like my oldest half-sister Katie. I wish she lived around here. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? I do; my boyfriend is my best friend, and I am also close to my WoW "big brother" Sam. I need to reach out and say hi again, it's been a while since we've chatted. Back in the day we used to play the game together while talking on Skype like all day. What can you smell? Lysol. Mom tested positive for Covid today so is tryna keep the house sterilized. Do you want to see somebody right now? Yeah; it's Girt's and my anniversary and he was gonna spend the day with me but Mom being sick threw a wrench in that plan. He himself just got over Covid and I obviously don't want him getting it again. Him staying healthy is way more important. Are you a forgiving person? I'm too fucking forgiving.

Who did you last fall asleep with? Besides my cat, Girt. Would you hug the last person you hugged again? Ha ha yeah, that would be my mom. Maybe TMI but she was measuring me for bra sizing and she ended up squeezing me into a real tight hug when she put her arms around me. She's adorable. Can you be your complete self around the person you like? Yes, and I am extremely grateful for that. Have you had “the best night of your life”? I thought so. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Probably no but idk. Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning? In the morning, primarily because that's when I have more strength, but also because I feel like I started off my day productively. Who’s the most controlling person you know? Probably my sister's fucking husband. To name just one bullshit thing, he refuses to let Ash go to the gym because that MUST mean she's going to see other guys. I hate his guts. Does anyone keep a photo of you in their purse/wallet, and if so, who? I doubt that. How many instruments do you own/have you owned? Three: recorder, flute, electric guitar. Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? I do. Have you ever been burgled? No, thankfully. Do males look good in skinny jeans? Yep, I was into that in high school especially. For or against guyliner? I LIVE for guyliner asldkfjalkwsejr;awe What’s the name of one of your friend’s dog? Uh I mention Charlie enough so how about Mazzy and The Love of My Life named Beemo. :') I like all of their dogs' names but Beemo is just special to me ok Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. A giant centipede, like African ones and stuff. They are mega cool animals but are also terrifying at the same time; they are SO fast and their bites are notoriously horrendous. What’s the last thing you bought from eBay? Uh, good question. I think MAYBE back when Mom was trying to get the game Ico for me, she used it. We got the game twice from there and each time the game didn't work, boo. It's an old PS2 game so is no longer produced and is hard to find anywhere at a reasonable price. Do you have a picture of you throwing up the peace sign? Yeah, I actually - shocking - quite like that picture of me. Does your father have any facial hair? Yes. Did your grandparents teach you anything? How to not be an old-fashioned, bigoted witch, yes. Have you ever been to Arizona? Did you like it? No, but Arizona is actually a place I would like to visit to herp primarily just to see a Sonoran coachwhip snake (they're mostly pink!) as well as tarantulas. Maybe even a Gila monster and/or rock rattlesnake! When was the last time it rained where you live? Last night. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, and it's gotten some laughs outta me for sure. You just caught your bf/gf kissing someone of the same sex. Reaction? Well he's straight so I'd be very confused and also very angry because we're together. Reach your right arm out. What do you touch? Girt's pillow. You have to write a story for English, due tomorrow. What do you write? Realistically it would probably be like a random spin-off of an RP story or something relating to meerkats in general. Any concerts you’re attending coming up soon? Not that I know of, but Rammstein will be announcing more US tour dates next month and I am PRAAAAAYINNNNNNNNG they pick somewhere near here. ;_; What part of the body did you last get pierced? Uhhhh I wanna say tongue? But it may have been my tragus, idr. Any of your friends getting married? My friends Rachel and Tommy have their wedding soon! They sent out a Facebook RSVP and honestly I'm thinking of going. I'd love to get closer with them. Who was the last person you took a picture with? My niece and nephew, I think? Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Not at the moment. What’s one thing you’d like to accomplish in your lifetime? Publish one relatively successful piece of artwork. What’s your biggest concern right now? My mom being okay. She feels really, really sick and is immunocompromised so reaslitically, just frankly, she could die. She hasn't had her booster shots, so... that makes things worse. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? One romantically, another in the platonic/familial way. Ever been to a friend's house and starved the whole time? Aha, yeah honestly. Who’s the last person you had a sleepover with? Girt. What’s the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? I'm actually not sure. Who is the youngest person in your immediate family? My two-year-old niece. I actually don't know if nieces/nephews are considered "immediate" family, but I consider them such. Do you remember the last song you slow danced to? lol kindly fuck off Do you plan on having alcohol at your wedding? I've never thought about this, but probably not. I wouldn't want even the risk of guests driving home intoxicated being present. Are you one of those people that are always cold? No, I'm absolutely always hot. Have you ever gone spotting deer? Oh my god, this brought back SUCH a treasured memory. When I was a little kid, sometimes at sunset my dad would take my sisters and me across the street between our neighbors' houses where there was some woods and a field, and deer frequented the spot. God, it was always so beautiful. The memory is really faint, but it's there for sure. We'd get so excited if they were out. Do you think your ex still wants to be with you? Most likely not. Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you? No, I would never tolerate that. Are you listening to music right now? No, I'm watching Game Grumps play I'm On Observation Duty 5. What are your initials? BMD. What was the last thing you ate? I had a chicken sandwich for dinner. When was the last time you ran? It's literally been years. How did you get one of your scars? Fainting straight onto my chin in the bathroom. Who do you text the most? I pretty much only text my mom. I talk to my boyfriend and friends via Discord nowadays. Do you wish you had a pool table? Not especially. We used to have one when I was younger, though. Ash's kids have it now. Ever been to Olive Garden? Many times, it's my favorite "fancy" restaurant. What is something of which you need more in your life? Adventure and fun, really. Money. Do you tend to view your existence as more pleasant or unpleasant? Unpleasant, quite honestly. When was the last time you ate a great deal of food in one sitting? Not sure. Do you enjoy talking about music with others? YES. Is acting something you enjoy? No, I feel VERY awkward. Who was the last person to do something kind for you? Uhhh Mom brought home dinner yesterday. What was going on the last time you were in a bed with someone else? ... stuff lol What color of hair do you find the sexiest on the opposite gender? Of natural hair colors, usually black, but in like, ANY individual I am generally more attracted to colored hair. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Just checked, it was my sister Misty. We briefly chatted recently, just checking in on each other. What was the last thing you said? I told Mom as she was laying down for bed that if she needed anything during the night to wake me up. Do you ever get flu shots? The only flu shot I've ever gotten was the initial Covid vaccine. I really do need to get my boosters as well as the regular influenza shots in the future, though... I just don't like getting shots because they burn and I never feel like going out of my way to get them, either. Plus I'm like, always home so feel less at risk. I should get them regardless, though. Do you turn your computer off completely at night, or just standby? I never turn it off, honestly. Is there one show you just can’t stand? I might get hell for this, but the show Teen Mom upsets me extremely. Teenagers ARE NOT meant to be parents and I will always believe the show glorifies it, even if it's not intended. Some topics are not meant to be the focus of a television show. Do you watch Disney Channel and Nickelodeon still? No. Do you like white Christmases? Absolutely!! Can you shoot a basketball? Yeah, at least I used to be pretty good at it. I know the basic idea of how to correctly; I actually used to quite like playing it when I was a kid. Have you ever gotten stuck in an elevator? omfg no, thank GOD Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever had a home grown tomato? Yes, they're actually not bad for a sandwich, and I generally hate tomatoes. When we were still friends, Colleen would sometimes give me some of her in-law's from their garden since I helped a lot out there (even though I hated every second of it lmao) and they tasted like, NOTHING like those from the store. Have you ever lived through a hurricane? Many; hurricanes are common where I live. Do you like to draw? I love to draw, I just wish I was better. Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? I have EXTREMELY soft hands, so soft that I frequently can't even open bottle caps because it hurts too much. I only like holding hands with my partner or if you're my niece Emerson and she wants to drag me somewhere, ha ha.

[urimaginespimp]

A Half-naked Nurse and Wrong Ideas.

Bucky x Reader with fever.

Thank you @daredarling for the “you’ve gotten sick and Bucky takes care of you” idea.

——–

You should’ve known better than to race Sam under a thunderstorm last night. Waking up the next morning, you had a massive headache, your muscles felt sore, and you were shivering.

“Miss Y/N, Mr. Barnes says you’re half an hour late in training.” FRIDAY’s voice spoke, making you groan and bring your comforters above you.

“Tell him to fuck off.” you muffled under the sheets.

Barnes… He has been nothing but a pain in the ass to you. To this day, you don’t know what you’ve done for him to dislike you this much. And as if his snarky comments and glares thrown your way wasn’t enough, Steve actually paired you both for missions and trainings.

If he wasn’t so handsome you would’ve cut him already. If Steve allowed you.

Loud bangs hit your door outside. “Y/L/N you’re already 30 minutes late! That’s 5 laps extra for you!” You could hear the irritation lacing his voice.

Maybe if you ignore him long enough, the pest would go away.

“I know you’re in there!” He followed up after you ignored him.

Sighing in annoyance, you got up, with the blankets still wrapped around you, and weakly waddled your way to your door, not bothering to open up your curtains. Opening the door, A frowning Bucky was looking down on you. If you weren’t feeling so shitty, you would’ve snickered at his expression.

“Barnes why are you so obsessed with me?” your cracked voice barely managed to finish asking.

He was observing you from head to toe, noting how pale you are, and shivering under a huge comforter despite that your AC was off.

“You’re stupid.” That was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

“Well, you’re not that sma-”

“Will you shut up and go back to bed? You look like you’re about to drop dead any second now.” He interrupted you, his face still stern with no emotion.

Rolling your eyes, you turned back and weakly made your way back over to bed, pausing to groan as you remembered you forgot to close the door.

“If you’re still there, could you please close the door.” it almost pained you to even be so polite to him but you blame it to being sick.

Finally managing to lie back down, you stared up the ceiling when you heard the door finally shut gently. Sighing, you were about to let sleep take over you when something caught the corner of your eye.

Bucky was by the closed door, taking his shirt off over his head. You let out a shriek. “What the fuck are you doing in my room?!”

“You’re sick.” he replied nonchalantly, while kicking off his shoes, leaving him in his sweatpants and socks.

“And taking off your clothes is supposed to make me feel better?!” you were trying to support yourself with your elbow, facing his way. “And I meant that you close the door before leaving.”

“I don’t want to die of heat while taking care of you.” he replied in a duh tone before entering your bathroom to fetch some warm water in a basin.

You were still trying to process what he was getting at when he finally went back out, now basin with steaming water in hand.

“You got a clean towelette I can use?” has asked as he placed the basin on the foot of your bed.

“Yeah, it’s by the third dra- what the hell are you doing again?” you caught yourself as he was opening your drawers. “Because if you’re trying to kill me, doing it while I’m defenseless is just beneath you.”

“Didn’t think your IQ could get any lower but you’re sick so I’ll let this pass.” He rolled his eyes before soaking the cloth on the water. “I’m nursing you. Now lay flat and still so the cloth won’t fall off that forehead of yours.” he instructed, again sounding so casual.

You followed his orders before realizing that this whole ordeal was still very weird. “I’m sorry, I still don’t get why you’re doing this.”

He went by your head and placed the cloth on your forehead, making you sigh at the warmth it brought your chilling form. “Steve will have my head if he finds out I knew you’re sick and let you die.”

You stared at him deadpan.

“And partners are supposed to be taking care of each other.” he muttered, making the side of your mouth twitch.

“If you tell anyone I said that I’ll kill you.” he lightly threatened when he noticed your mouth twitch.

“Fair enough. And I should probably tell you that I’m prone to get mentally confused when I have fevers which is a normal symptom, but just letting you know in case I start saying something nice.” you chuckled.

He went over your mini fridge and opened a bottle of water to drink.

You look at him, noticing that he was starting to sweat a lot from the heat. His skin was glistening making you mentally kick yourself from staring.

“You got underwear?” you found yourself asking, making him choke on his drink.

“What?”

“I-I’m just saying i-if you’re that hot, you can just take off your sweatpants and I won’t mind.”

“You’re saying I’m hot?” he chuckled, having fun twisting your words, making you flush. “Hey, color’s back on your face. Maybe I should get you all flustered more.” he teased further.

“Shut up Barnes, I meant that the room’s too hot for you because the AC is off. You’re sweating like a pig.”

“Save the excuses, Y/N. You won’t mind if I’ll just be in my boxers?” he smirked at you as he took his socks off and started working on untying the strings of his sweats.

“Puh-lease, Barnes, it may come as a shock to you, but I’ve seen enough men in boxers. You’re not that…”

You trailed off what you were going to say when you noticed that this was a different kind of boxers. Why were they so tight?

You thought he meant boxer shorts, not boxer briefs. Dammit.

“I’m not that…?” He asked.

“I forgot. Fever brain.” You shrugged, diverting your eyes away from him. “Anyway, why are you so nice to me? You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” He contradicts, placing his hands on his hips.

“Uh, yeah you do.” you paused to let out a cough. “You always make fun of me or provoke me in front of everyone else.”

“And how do I treat you when we’re alone, especially in missions?” he raised his brows at you, expecting that you’ll put two and two together.

“A lot nicer actually.” You muttered.

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that the team keeps insisting I have a crush on you.” he scratched the back of his head.

“That’s ridiculous. Why would they even think that?” you chuckled.

“It’s Sam’s fault. He tricked me.”

“What?”

“He was being all hypothetical, saying what if I was only allowed to date someone from the team and who would I choose. And I uh… may have said I’d choose you. And everyone else heard.” He muttered the last part, embarrassed.

It was your turn to smirk at him. “And why me?”

“Stop that. You look like a smirking corpse.” he snapped at you defensively and cleared his throat. “It’s just that you were actually really nice to me when we met. Didn’t feel like you were masking apprehensiveness like everybody did when I first got here.”

“Sounds like you have a crush on me.” you had the courage to tease him, seeing how flustered he got from telling the story.

“This is not how you treat your nurse, Y/N.”

“Yeah, a nurse in his underwear. Very ethical. And I’m not your supervisor, but I think brooding is not advisable.”

“And now as your nurse, I would advise you to quit talking and get some sleep.”  he playfully glared at you. “I’ll be by the chair to constantly check on your temperature and replace the cloth on your forehead.”

“I really appreciate what you’re doing, Barnes. I’m starting to think the team’s right.”

“Ma’am flirting with patients and vice versa is frowned upon. Now sleep.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

——–

While you were finally snoozing for over an hour, gentle knocks were heard on your door.

Standing up from his chair, Bucky quickly made his way over the door to prevent more knocks from disturbing your sleep, forgetting that he was still only in his boxer briefs.

Opening it slowly, he was met with three pairs of wide eyes belonging to Steve, Sam, and Nat.

“Hey you guys, could you keep it down? Y/N is getting some rest.”

“Uhuh… I bet she needs it.” Sam replied slowly, still wide-eyed, noting how Bucky’s slightly sweaty.

“So… when did this happen?” It was Steve’s turn to speak up.

“Oh, just this morning. She was running late and I came here with the intention of punishing her for it but I ended up taking care of her.” He explained in a low voice, still oblivious to how their teammates were getting a totally different idea.

“Woah.” Nat muttered under her breath.

“Yeah, I guess her muscles are all sore because she was moving so weakly, and her voice is all hoarse now when she talks, and -”

“Look we’re happy for you, but TMI, Buck! TMI.” Steve cut him off and the three of them scrambled away from your room, with Sam muttering he didn’t need the unwelcomed visuals, and Nat screaming for Wanda.

Now left alone and confused by the doorway, he was trying to figure out why they reacted that way when it finally clicked.

“Fuck.” he whisper-yelled, knowing that the teasing was about to get worse.

——–

Final Part

Permanent tag list: @lizzarooni

Marvel Masterlist

[atlafan]

The Good Life - One Shot

a/n: okay so we have business man!Harry, and co-worker Y/N, but also she’s the boss’ daughter???? friends to lovers???? smut??? not proofread????

words: 14.5K

If there was one thing that Harry hated, it was a spoiled brat. He hated when people got whatever they wanted without even working for it. If he ever had kids, he would teach them the value of a dollar. You, however, were an exception to that rule.

Harry steps out of his office, and smells his favorite scent in the world. There was this perfume you’d wear that smells like raspberries. You were officially home for summer vacation, and you had to be here visiting your mother, who was Harry’s boss.

“Carol, is Y/N here?” Harry asks his secretary.

“Yes, she came by to have lunch with Cheryl. She just finished grad school, can you believe it?”

“That’s incredible…so that would make her what? Twenty-three?”

“She turns twenty-four later this summer.” She smiles.

This was good, Harry was only twenty-seven, so that wasn’t that big if an age difference. Carol knew Harry had a crush on you, even though he had never admitted it. He’d been working at the company for five years, so he’s known you for a while now. He’s always kept his distance, though. You went to a private school in high school, and you used to come to the office in your uniform after school. You were a senior at the time, but Harry still felt weird being attracted to you at that time. And sure, Harry’s had a couple of girlfriends that he really liked, even loved. It’s not like he was obsessed with you or anything. He just…thought you were cute.

You and your mother come out of her office giggling. Harry stands up straight and makes sure his tie isn’t all out of sorts.

“Harry, good I’m glad you’re here.” Cheryl starts. “You remember my daughter, Y/N.”

“Sure, hi.” He smiles.

“Hi, Mr. Styles.” You smile.

“Oh, honey, no need to be so formal, especially now that you’re joining the team.” Cheryl beams.

“What?” Harry asks.

“Harry, I know you and I usually discuss new hires, but Y/N officially has her MBA, and well, she really wants to work here.”

“I have since I was a kid. I’m really excited.”

“She’ll be your new assistant. Gotta start her somewhere.”

“But…that’s Carol’s job.”

“Carol is the office secretary, not a personal assistant. You’ve been asking for one for quite some time. I thought you’d be more excited.” She raises an eyebrow at Harry.

Harry looks at Carol, and Carol just smiles nervously.

“I think it’s great.” Carol says. “But a girl with an MBA…that’s a little too entry level, don’t you think?”

“Well, I certainly couldn’t start her as an associate director.” Cheryl laughs.

“It’s okay, I know I need to work my way up. I have, like, zero experience. This’ll be my first real job, so I really don’t mind being Harry’s assistant. I’m good at answering phones and writing messages down.” You smile. “I won’t disappoint you.”

“I didn’t think you would. This’ll be great. When do you officially start?”

“Monday. I was just coming by today to pass in some paperwork to H.R.”

//

Before the end of the day, Harry knocks on Cheryl’s door. She tells him to come in and he sits down.

“What can I do for you?” She smiles.

“So…why’d you choose me to work with Y/N? There’s plenty of people here that could use an assistant.”

“To be honest, Harry, I trust you. You’re close in age with her, you can give her advice on what it’s like just starting out. You were just a mail boy when you started.”

“That was when I was just an intern when I was still in school.” He chuckles.

“And we just loved you so we hired you. You’ve grown up a lot over the last five years, and you work so hard. I think she could really learn a lot from you. I’ll let you in on a little secret too, she actually asked if you needed an assistant.”

“She did?” He perks up. “I mean, uh, did she now?”

“Yes…I think she may have a small crush on you, but don’t mind her. If it makes you uncomfortable I can have her-“

“No!” He takes a deep breath. “No, it’ll be fine. She probably won’t like me much once she gets to know me anyways.”

“She knows you well enough. You’ve been to the house enough times for parties.” She laughs. “In fact, I’m hoping you and Amy will come skiing with us again this winter.”

“Oh, uh, Amy and I broke up.”

“Oh no.” She frowns. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugs. “Just wasn’t mean to be, but I’ll totally come skiing.” He grins. “Could be dating someone else by then anyways.”

“Very true.”

//

Monday morning you show up bright and early. You had a nice light purple blouse on with a black pencil skirt. Your mom had taken you shopping for some new work clothes, and you loved them. You had stopped off at a coffee place and grabbed a ton of different coffees and doughnuts. You wanted to make a good first impression. Most people knew you as Cheryl’s littler girl, but you were almost twenty-four, you weren’t a little girl anymore.

Harry always went to the gym before work, and would eat his breakfast in the breakroom before changing. He stops short when he sees you bent over the table making everything look nice.

“Morning.” He says, and you stand up straight right away.

“Hi, Harry…uh, coffee?” You gesture to the table of assorted drinks.

“Maybe in a bit.” He scrunches his face at the drinks. “Any of those just black?”

“Um…no…do people actually like black coffee?”

“I do.” He smirks. “You’ll want to know that. As my assistant, I’ll expect a coffee on my desk every morning.”

“Oh, uh, alright-“

“Y/N.” He chuckles. “I’m just teasing, I can get my own coffee.” Harry shakes his head and reaches to open one of the cupboards. He pulls out a box of protein bars and takes one out.

“No doughnut either?”

“Hmm….” He peers over and sees a chocolate glazed. “Save that one f’me?”

“Sure!”

“Thanks, I’ll have it after lunch.” He slings his gym bag over his shoulder. “Now, I usually go change in my office, so, don’t come in.”

“I won’t…do you always go to the gym before work?”

“Yup, helps wake me up, gets me ready for the day.”

“Cool.” You smile.

Everyone else in the office was very quick to snatch up the things you brought in, gaining major brownie points. Your mom was happy to see you take a little initiative. For most of the day you sat in on various meetings. You and Harry didn’t even have much time to talk. He shares his calendar with you so you can see when he’s busy, and you share yours with him as well. You had a nice size desk right outside his office. You brought some things with you to decorate it, pictures of friends and what not. Right before lunch, a few people come over to Harry’s office, women. One of them is about to open his door, but you stop her.

“Sorry, Mr. Styles is busy.”

“It’s okay, I’m a friend. It’s almost lunch.”

“But he’s on a call.” Your eyes peer over to the screen where you can clearly see on his calendar that he’s busy.

She sucks her teeth and looks at the other women.

“Fine…guess we’ll see him later then.” She sighs and they all walk away. A few moment later Harry slowly opens his door.

“That was brilliant, thank you.” You turn to look at him. “Those three always try to have lunch with me, it’s pretty annoying. Now I have a barrier that they have to get through.” He checks his watch. “Gotta go. Have a good lunch.”

“Thanks, you too.”

You go into Harry’s office and place the doughnut he had asked you for on his desk. When he gets back he smiles and picks it up.

“Wanna split it?”

“Sure!”

It looked so small in his large hand. You take the half from him and eat it happily.

“Come in around four, we can talk about your first day and what the rest of the week will look like. Sorry things have been so busy.”

“It’s okay, I feel like I’m already learning a lot.” You tuck some hair behind your ear. “I’m really glad I get to work for someone so chill. I was worried I was going to get stuck with Phil.” You laugh.

“Yeah, that would’ve been boring. He’s been here nearly thirty years. Think he has grandkids your age.”

“Gross.” You say and it makes Harry laugh.

At four you come into his office with a notepad. He had loosened his tie a bit, and his sleeves were rolled up.

“I’m really glad this place has A/C.” You say.

“Believe it or not your mum had to fight for that. It was before I started, but she made it happen.”

“Probably the hot flashes.” You start laughing and then you stop. “Sorry, TMI.”

“It’s alright. Didn’t think she went through the change yet.”

“Well, you know my oldest sibling is like…thirty-two right?”

“Ah, forgot you were the baby.”

“Hey.” You pout. “I may be the youngest, but I’m not a baby.”

“You’re the most fun. Your siblings didn’t even ski last year on that trip. They just sat around.” He rolls his eyes. “Anyways, let’s talk about your first day, how was it?”

“Good! I was a little nervous, but it was good. A lot to take in, but I’ll catch on.”

“Where do you see yourself going?”

“I want my mom’s job someday.”

“Ambitious.”

“I’m willing to work for it.”

“Well, you’ll have to wait a little while because when your mum retires, I’m hoping that spot’ll be mine.”

“Okay, so I’ll take your job in the meantime.” You smirk.

“Sounds like a plan.” He chuckles. “Anyways, you have a chance to look at my calendar?”

“Mhm, you have a lot of meetings this week.”

“That’s right, so I’ll need you alert for the phone. Oh, and some meetings I’d like you in on to take notes. Makes it easier for me to pay attention if I don’t have to have my laptop in front of me.”

“Okay.”

“This is your first real job, so I wanna make sure you know about burn out. You’ll accumulate time off, use it. Same with sick time. Mental health is important and you may feel overwhelmed at times. You’ll probably feel really tired by the end of the week. Make sure to check in with me about how you’re feeling. If there’s something you need, we’ll make sure you get it, okay?”

“Thanks, Harry.”

“Just paying it forward. This can be a really great place to work, you just need to know the right people. You know Carol, obviously. She’s the best. Don’t be afraid to go to her for help. She was amazing to me.”

“Yeah, her daughter used to babysit me.”

“Right.” He clears his throat.

“I think you’re the only person here that never saw me with braces.” You laugh. “I think you came on when I was, like, a senior in high school.”

“Sounds about right.”

“You were always so polite. I couldn’t believe it. When I got to college I always hoped the boys would be like you, but they weren’t.” You shrug.

“Okay, well, I think that’s enough for today. Why don’t you head home?”

“Would you mind walking me down to my car?”

“Oh, well, I’m not done for the day yet. I usually stay until six just to wrap things up.”

“Okay, then I’ll stay too.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“You’re not allowed to. Your day ends at 4:30.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But I could take the stroll down to the parking garage with you if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

“If you don’t mind, I felt sort of sketched out this morning.”

“I get here at the same time every day. You can just wait for me if you want in the mornings, and we can walk up together.”

“I’d like that.”

//

Working with Y/N was great. Harry absolutely loved it. You kept him organized and taken care of. You stalked the cupboards with his favorite protein bars, and had started picking up his coffee, just because you wanted to. He always praised you and told you how much he appreciated everything you did.

You were good at your work too. He could give you a project and you’d have it done within a couple of days. You were determined and efficient. He could definitely see you moving up fast, which sort of made him sad. He’d keep you forever if he could, but that would be selfish. He thought his little crush on you would be distracting, but it wasn’t. It almost made you get along even better.

Your mom always hosted a company Labor Day party. You had a huge backyard with a large in ground pool. You couldn’t believe how fast the summer went by, but you were happy to be in a routine. You loved this pool party, and now you were there as an employee. It was always catered with the best food, and your friends would come by. This year, though, you didn’t invite them. You wanted to seem professional with everyone. You even wore a one piece bathing suit with a little sheer skirt tied around your waist.

You were walking around, mingling, when you saw Harry walk in. Usually he brought some pretty date, but the only thing in his arms was a platter of food he offered to bring, and some beers. You were excited that he hadn’t gotten back together with Amy, or that he had met someone new.

“Harry!” You exclaim when you go into the kitchen.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“You don’t look dressed to swim.” You tease him.

“Not really planning on it this year.”

“But it’s so hot out.”

“Drinks will keep me cool.” He winks at you and cracks open one of his beers. “Does it ever get annoying to have so many people around your house?”

“Well, technically, this isn’t my house anymore. I moved into the pool house last month and started paying my mom rent. I wanted to have a little more freedom, you know? But it’s just her in this big place now so I felt bad wanting to fully leave. She said she’s putting the rent money in an account for me so one day when I do buy a house or something, I’ll have something to start with. Plus, it gets me in the habit of paying bills.”

“Look at you, becoming a real adult.” He nudges you and you both go outside. “You’ll be twenty-four soon, right?”

“Mhm, next weekend. I’m going away with my friends. I’m leaving early Friday, don’t forget.”

“Got it on my calendar.”

He smiles and walks away. Of course he does, he wanted to talk with the other, older people at the party. Your mother adored Harry, she always had. Your step-dad liked him a lot too. You were sipping on some wine while the sun was setting, and the party was dwindling. You go over to Harry who was backed into a corner by one of the ladies from finance.

“Harry?”

“Oh, hi! So glad you found me, how about a tour of the pool house?”

“Sure!”

“Excuse us, she’s been dying to show me all day.” Harry says to the woman. He grabs your wrist and leans in. “Walk fast, or she’ll follow.”

You giggle as you both basically sprint away. You key into the pool house and lead him in.

“Oh, wow, this is actually really cool.”

“Thanks! We sort of used it as a guest house anyways, so it didn’t need much work. Just some paint and new furniture. It’s like a little one bedroom apartment. I love it. My friends can come over and we don’t have to worry about being quiet or keeping anyone up. It’s been working out great for everyone so far.”

“I’m happy for you.” He says, looking around. “It’s nice having privacy, isn’t it? I remember when I had saved up enough to move out.”

“Do you have your own house?”

“Haven’t bought any property yet, no. Suppose I could, but I’m fine renting for now. My place isn’t small though.”

“How come you haven’t yet?”

“I don’t know, I just figured I’d buy a house with someone, you know?” He sits down on the arm rest of your couch. “I mean, what if I bought a house, and the girl I was with wanted a different house? I’d want to make it ours. I’ve always wanted to buy my girl the house of her dreams.”

“I thought you didn’t like buying things for people.” You smirk. “But I suppose that’s really sweet.”

“It’s one thing if it’s a gift. I just don’t believe in giving people every little thing they want. They should work for it, you know?”

“My mom was really good about that when we were growing up. She said no all the time. I mean, we were spoiled a little, but at least we’re not brats.”

“True, you could be way brattier.”

“Hey.” You put your hands on your hips.

“Just teasing.”

Just as you were about to step closer to him, your mother opened your door.

“There you are, people are leaving, and…oh…am I interrupting something?” Cheryl asks, a little too eagerly.

“No, mom.”

“She was just helping me escape from Beth in finance.”

“She’s gone.”

“Great, coast is clear.” He stands up. “Better get going myself. Thanks again for a great party. Sorry Ed had to be traveling.”

“You’ll have to come over for dinner next time he’s home.”

“Sounds good, love hearing his traveling stories.”

He gives your mouth a hug, and out he goes. You glare at your mother.

“I’m so sorry.” She says. “I did interrupt.”

“You certainly cooled things by saying that.” You groan. “I finally got him alone, we were talking about things other than work for once! He likes the way I decorated.”

“Honey…Harry’s a little older than you, and you’re fresh out of school. He may just be looking for different things, we’ve talked about this.”

“It’s not like I’m right out of undergrad. I have my MBA, and I’m doing really well at work.”

“You are, you’re doing amazing. Come on, help me say goodnight to our guests.”

//

Harry had already gone to lunch when you were packing up your things to leave early for your girl’s weekend. You notice a card on your desk. You open it and smile. A Visa gift card slides out.

Don’t spend it all in one place. Don’t check your email. Have a great time, and happy birthday. – H

You bite your bottom lip and try not to squeal. That was so sweet of him. You pack up your things and head out. You send him a quick text saying thank you for the gift and out you go.

He missed you the rest of the afternoon, but your thank you text made him smile. You told all of your friends about Harry. He had given you a $100 gift card, which was way too much. He had to like you, there was no way he would have given that much money to just anyone.

//

For Thanksgiving, your family did things a little untraditionally and went skiing. It was something your mother’s family used to scrape together to do, and she continued the tradition with you and your siblings. She bought a huge house in the mountains when you were young. Her friends would come too, sometimes Ed’s parents as well. It was just for people to get together for an entire week, and then share a good meal.

Harry and his girlfriend at the time, Amy, came last year. To be fair you had brought a boy with you too, but it was nothing serious. He would be joining again this year, and he wouldn’t be bringing anyone with him. The house had separate wings, so guests wouldn’t be on top of each other.

There were some other young people there too, along with your siblings and their partners. You were excited to spend time with so many people. None of your siblings wanted anything to do with the family business, which you couldn’t understand. You loved working for your mom.

“Harry!” You hear your mom. “How were the roads?”

“Not too bad yet, just a bit icy.”

“Y/N, help Harry to his room. Look at all the things he’s carrying.”

“She doesn’t need to-“

“Don’t be silly. I’m used to helping you.” You giggle.

You carry one of his bags to his room.

“Thanks.” He walks around and makes sure he has his own bathroom like last time. “Perfect.” He smiles. “I can’t wait to hit the slopes. Is your mum making that green bean casserole again for the holiday? It’s so good.”

“Actually, uh, I make that.”

“Really? Should have known.” He smiles. “Which wing are you in this year?”

“Oh, I’m right across the hall from you actually. My siblings have babies and I didn’t want to risk losing sleep. Is that okay that I’ll be so close by?”

“Definitely. I don’t know who else is going to be here, so it’ll be nice to have a friend so close by. Sure you don’t mind spending so much time with your boss?”

“You’re, like, the best boss ever. Don’t mind at all. Besides, you’re on my turf now.” You step closer to him.

“Oh, is that right?”

“Mhm.”

You hear your name being called from down the hall and you sigh.

“You’ll ski with me tomorrow, right?” He asks before you leave.

“Only if you use the hot tub with me. Gonna need to relax after a long of day of hitting the slopes.” You wink and off you go.

Your mom and Ed make a huge dinner for everyone that night. People were drinking and having a great time. You all head to bed early so those that plan to go skiing and snowboarding, can.

//

The next morning you get all your gear on, and head to the kitchen. Harry was sipping on his black coffee.

“Should I have made that for you?” You smirk and fill your own mug, adding a little creamer to it.

“You’re off the clock, remember.” He takes another sip. “Want some eggs?” He points to the pan of scrambled eggs he made up for everyone.

“Sure! Thanks, Harry.” You beam.

You both share a nice, quiet breakfast together until everyone else comes racing in. Someone makes bacon, and breakfast sausage to go along with the eggs. Harry offers to drive you up to the mountain, no one really seems to notice.

You and Harry have a great day taking runs together. You stop off for a quick lunch at the lodge. Just as you were bringing over a couple of hot chocolates you see him talking to some random girls. You watch as he laughs along at some joke. You hated watching him flirt. He was too good at it. You walk over and hand him his hot chocolate.

“There she is.” He hooks his arm around you and takes the cup of hot chocolate. “Told you ladies my girlfriend would be right back.” He looks at you with a please help me face. “Thanks for the drink, babe.”

“My pleasure.” You kiss his cheek. “Who are your new friends?”

“Oh, we were just leaving.” One of them rolls their eyes and they all leave.

“Nice touch.” He lets go of you and takes a sip of the warm drink. “Mm, this is good.”

“They were bothering you?”

“They invited me to some party. They have to be in college or something. I told them I had a girlfriend. Sorry about that.”

“No worries, it was easy to play along.” You both smile at each other, and he blushes slightly. “Hope it’s okay that I did that.”

“Didn’t mind at all.”

After a few more hours, your legs were starting to get sore. You take a shower the second you get home, and you all eat another big meal together. Ed gets a fire started. Some people play card games. Harry even gets into a game of poker with some of the guys. You announce you’re going to get the hot tub started.

“Oh, that sounds like fun.” Your sister says.

Your mom watches as Harry gets up from his chair to go to his room to change.

“Janey, honey, stay inside, would you?”

“Why?”

“Because I think Harry’s going to join your sister…”

“So?”

“So, why not give them some privacy?” Ed says.

“Ah, I see, so you’re letting her work for you as a way to match them up?” She scoffs.

“No.” Your mother sounds offended. “I just think they’d make a cute couple, and it’s much more appropriate now, so-“

“Mum, she works for him…”

“There’s nothing against it in our H.R. policy. As long as they disclose things if they decide to date, it’s not a big deal. You also didn’t ski all day. You can use the hot tub tomorrow.”

//

You get a two piece on and throw a robe over yourself. You go outside to the back deck where the large hot tub was, and get the jets started. You slip your robe off and get in. A few minutes later Harry comes out with a t-shirt and trunks on.

“Alright if I join you?”

“Yeah! I basically asked you to yesterday.”

You look away as he takes his t-shirt off. You look at him once he’s in. You knew Harry was littered with tattoos. You’d seen him without a shirt on plenty of times. He’d been coming to your house and family gatherings for years. Your mom was really good at creating positive work environments where the boss didn’t need to be this person to be feared. She was a woman of the people, and that’s how you wanted to be. Harry had learned a lot of leadership skills from her, maybe that’s why he was such a great supervisor to you as well. You watch as a sigh leaves his lips and it makes you smile.

“What’s better than this?” He asks, looking at you.

“Not much.”

“Do your legs hurt much?”

“A little. I stretched quickly when I got home.”

“You looked great out there today, you’re fearless on those black diamonds.”

“Oh…thanks.” If your cheeks weren’t already flushed from the steam, they would be from his compliment. You knew he just meant your form and not necessarily your clothes, but still.

“Did I tell you that Paula invited me for Thanksgiving?”

“No!” You gasp. “You’re kidding?!”

“Nope.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Jocelyn did too, as if neither of them knew I hang with your family. I told them and they were shocked I wanted to go skiing with the boss again. Your mum’s like family to me at this point.”

“You also don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving.” You giggle. “Why go to someone’s home you barely know when you can basically just go on an early winter getaway?”

“Exactly! I don’t understand the women we work with, honestly. The second the picture of Amy left my desk it was like…I don’t know they stopped seeing me as a colleague and more like prey.”

“Does it bother you that so many women flirt with you?”

“It’s not just the women.” He smirks. “And no…not really. It’s mostly harmless. It’s not like they’re putting their hands on me or anything. And it’s not that none of them are attractive or anything.” He sinks a little further in and rests his head on the back of the cushion provided. “I just don’t want to date someone I work with.”

Your heart falls into your stomach. Why would he say something like this to you? You two sort of flirted at work, but mostly things were professional. He met you every morning to walk you upstairs, and he’d always bring you down to your car. Even if he was in a late afternoon meeting, he’d excuse himself at 4:30 to make sure you got downstairs okay.

“I mean, what’s there to talk about when you get home? I suppose if you work in separate divisions that’s not so bad. But the other person knows what you do all day. Seems a little boring.”

“But on the flip side, that person would know exactly what you’re going through and would be able to relate and understand your schedule. Why did you and Amy break up?”

“Uhh.” Harry has to really think about it. It was so long ago now. “We had started talking about moving in together, and she couldn’t understand why I would never try to get out of work earlier so we could go look at places. I stay late so I can leave my work at work. I would try to explain that to her. And then when I would come home early I’d have to be on my laptop answering emails. She didn’t feel prioritized, which I understood was annoying.”

“See? Someone you work with would totally understand.”

“She was also a couple years older than I am, and I could tell she felt like her clock was ticking.” He shrugs. “I wasn’t ready for all the steps she was, at the time.”

“You do tend to date a lot of older women.” You chuckle. “I think one time you brought a woman almost ten years older than you to one of our dinner parties.”

“I used to go out with a lot of divorced women.” He smiles.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I was young and it was easy to not commit to them. Some of them had kids and stuff, it was an easy out.”

“So you would date just to…fuck and then leave, essentially?”

“I wouldn’t phrase it like that, but I think deep down I saw it as a way that I could be with someone without fully needing to commit. Again, I was young and stupid.”

“You’re still young.”

“And maybe just a little less stupid.”

“Only a little.”

“And what about you? I think I’ve seen you bring every type of guy home with you. Jocks, artists, short guys, tall guys…”

“It’s easier to bring someone to family functions, you know how it is. Some of them were just friends. I never knew which things you were going to come to.” You say nonchalantly.

“Why would me being there matter?”

You realize now what you’ve admitted.

“You know, there’s a fridge out here full of wine, why don’t I-?” You start to get up, but he puts his hand on your shoulder to sit you back down.

“Just answer the question, Y/N.”

“Well…if we’re talking about being young…I obviously had a crush on you…back then.” You were starting to sweat, and it wasn’t from the steam popping out of the bubbles and jets. “I mean, what other teenage girl liked visiting their mom at work as much as I did? I remember the first time I saw you too, I came in after school to drop something off since I was able to drive myself, and I nearly passed out. You were talking with my mom and I felt too nervous to walk up to you. I never felt more like a child in my life. I gushed to my mom about you, and she told me you actually weren’t that much older than I was.”

“So you’d come around more just to see me? You never said more than hello?” He smirks.

“I was way too nervous. You know I almost asked you to take me to my prom?! How embarrassing.” You laugh. “One of my friends took me, obviously.”

“I remember when you came to the office in your dress.”

“It wouldn’t have been so weird if we got together. I was eighteen my entire senior year.”

“You still had a lot of growing up to do. Eighteen legally means you’re an adult, but other than that you’re still just a kid.”

“I realized that the second I got to college. I had a major culture shock. I mean, I was able to do my laundry myself, unlike other kids, but I definitely learned that a maid wasn’t coming around to make my bed or take out the trash. I grew up even more in grad school when I had my own apartment. My mom paid for it, but still.” You shrug. “I was really on my own.”

“Are you happy you went to grad school right after?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I would have gone back if I hadn’t just done it. You have your MBA, right?”

“Mhm, got it a couple years ago through this online program your mum helped me find. It was the only way I was able to move up the way I did.”

“So…it doesn’t totally weird you out that I had a thing for you?”

“Nah.” He smiles. “It’s flattering.”

You may have been willing to expose yourself, but Harry wasn’t. How could he say he had a thing for you too? It still felt weird to him. There was a reason he kept his distance from you. Now, things were less weird. You were twenty-four and he was twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight. You weren’t a child anymore.

“And it’s not weird to say this to my supervisor either?” You cock an eyebrow at him.

“We’re off the clock, away from the office. Besides that, I won’t be your supervisor forever. You’re doing really well, you’ll move up soon.”

“Thanks.”

You desperately just wanted to lunge at him, throw your whole body and mind at him and have him fuck you right there in the hot tub, but the jets slowly came to a stop.

“Think that means we’re supposed to get out. Not supposed to stay in these things long.”

You watch as Harry stands up, your eyes following the droplets of water falling from his chest. He gets out and grabs a towel quickly. He picks up your robe and hands it to you. He looks in the other direction as you stand up and grab it from him.

“Fucking cold out.” He says and you start giggling.

You both go inside and go to your wing of the house.

“You looked away when I got out.” You say as you reach your doors.

“Pardon?”

“When I stood up and got out, you looked away.”

“I was just trying to give you your privacy.”

“Why?”

Now Harry was sweating.

“Because I’m not a guy who ogles women, okay?”

“Are you sure about that? I see the way you glance at me in the office. You’re always complimenting my clothes.”

“You wear nice clothes. Right now, you’re not wearing much, so I didn’t look.”

“My, what a gentleman.” You step a little closer to him. “I don’t mind if you look.” You whisper and then step away from him. “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight.” He swallows hard as he watches you walk into your room. He goes into his room and locks his door. He wasn’t sure if you were playing a game, but he wouldn’t play it…not while on vacation with your family.

//

The next day he finds himself on the chair lift with your mother. You all had enjoyed a nice breakfast together before heading off to your various activities.

“Sleep well, Harry?”

“Yeah, beds are super comfortable.”

“You don’t mind having it to yourself this time around?”

“Not at all, I can really stretch out.” He chuckles.

“How was the hot tub? It working okay?”

“Uh…yeah…how did you know I used it?”

“Well, the second after Y/N left to go change you got up as well. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist.”

“She had mentioned it the night before. I asked her to ski with me yesterday, and she had said yes, but only if I joined her.”

“Right.” She smiles. “Was it just you two out there?”

“It was.”

“And how was that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you enjoy spending time with my daughter? Outside of work, I mean. You both work so well together. You’ve helped her out a lot there, you’re almost like a mentor now. She’ll move up quickly. She’ll be your equal before you know it.”

“She’s very bright.”

“She is. Anyways, outside of work, you both also make a great pair.”

They both jump off the chair once they’re at the top of the mountain.

“What exactly are you saying, Cheryl?”

“I’m saying I’m okay with it.”

“Okay with what?”

“If you wanted to date her, ask her out, whatever, I’d be okay with it. She’s grown woman, she can make her own choices. I would just hope you two weren’t scared to go for it because of me.”

“Cheryl…I…”

“If you don’t like her like that, then I apologize for overstepping. I’m not one of those overprotective people that’s going to stand in the way. I just ask that if you two decide to date, you disclose it with H.R. and keep things as professional in the workplace as possible.”

Before Harry has a chance to say anything, she begins her run down the mountain. He was thoroughly confused. Had she essentially just given him her blessing and permission to ask you out? He wanted to, he really wanted to, but was now the right time? On a fucking family vacation?

//

After the tiring day of taking a crack at snowboarding, you realized skiing was definitely the winter sport for you. Harry had just finished showering and gotten dressed in a sweater and pair of slacks. You were hanging out in your room, just taking some time to scroll on your phone. You hear a knock on your door.

“It’s open!” You call, not looking up from your phone. You were laying on your stomach, with your feet hanging in the air as your knees were bent. Your door opens and you sit up immediately when you see it’s Harry. He leans in the doorway.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“How was your day?”

“Good, I tried snowboarding.”

“That’s nice. I went skiing with your mum.”

“Oh, I bet she enjoyed that.”

“She did.” He looks you up and down and squints at your comfy clothes. “Get dressed.”

“Why? We don’t need to be fancy for dinner.”

“Yes we do, because we’re going out tonight.”

“Oh, well no one told me.” You say, annoyed that the messaged hadn’t been relayed. You suppose it made sense since you’d all be cooking a lot once Thanksgiving actually came around.

“You’re misunderstanding me.”

You stop short as you reach your dresser.

“Then explain.”

“You and I are going out to eat. I’m taking you out.”

“Why?”

“So we can be alone.”

Your jaw nearly drops. Both of your eyebrows raise at him. It wasn’t exactly the nicest way for him to ask. This was how he spoke to people in meetings sometimes so they knew he meant business. It always sent a surge through you to see him be so…powerful.

“Would you like that?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then, you’ve got thirty minutes.”

With that, he grabs your door handle and closes your door for you. You were stunned, but giddy. You pull out a cute sweater and a pair of jeans to wear with a nice pair of boots. You fix your hair and makeup, and you’re ready to go. Harry was waiting for you in the living room. He had already told your mother he was taking you out for dinner, and she had told everyone not to make a big fucking deal about it. He hands you your coat and out the door the two of you go. He opens the car door for you, and then he gets in on his side to start driving.

“So, where are we going?”

“Do you remember that Italian place we went to last year? I’ve got a craving for pasta and bread, lots and lots of bread.”

“Skiing all day will do that to you.” You giggle. “Works for me.”

“Good.”

His glove covered hand reaches for your and he intertwines his fingers with yours, resting the conjoined fist on your thigh. He doesn’t look at you, he keeps his eyes on the road. This was his subtle way of saying that was, in fact, a date. You give his hand a little squeeze to let him know that, in fact, you were okay with it.

Once you’re at the restaurant, he opens your door for you again, and leads you inside. You stay close to him for warmth, it was freezing outside.

“Hello, how many?” The hostess asks.

“Two, please.” Harry says.

“That’ll be fifteen minutes. Here’s a buzzer. Feel free to grab a drink at the bar while you wait.” She smiles and he takes the buzzer from her.

“Wanna grab a drink?” You ask him.

“No, we can just get a bottle ordered for the table.” He notices your slight disappointment. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah, makes sense.”

You both wait awkwardly until the buzzer buzzes and you’re brought to a table. You take your coat off and hang it on the back of your chair, and he does the same.

“You can pick the wine.” He says, smiling. “I’m fine with whatever you like.”

“Well, I’ll wanna pick out something that would taste good with our meal. I was thinking chicken parm.”

“You know, so was I.”

“Perfect, then a bottle of red…some merlot maybe?”

“Sounds good to me.”

A waiter comes over with water and bread, and takes your full order. You butter your bread and take a bite.

“Mm, so fresh.” You say, and dab your mouth with your napkin.

“It’s delicious. I won’t even be mad at myself if I fill up on it.”

The waiter comes back with the bottle of wine and opens it for you both. He pours the glasses and leave you alone after. You both clink your glasses together and take a sip.

“So.” You say.

“So.” He repeats.

“Why is this happening?”

“Because…I-“

“I thought you didn’t want to date people you worked with.”

“You’re the exception.”

You were the exception for a lot of things. Harry only exclusively dated older women, and here you were three years younger than he was. He hated spoiled rich kids. But here you were, not so spoiled, but definitely rich. He hated brats, but here you were, knowing full well how much of a brat you could be if you really felt like it.

“Well, don’t I feel lucky.” You say, sarcastically with a smirk of your own.

“Do you not want to be on a date with me?”

“No, I do. I have for a long time, obviously.”

“Obviously.” He repeats.

“How long have you wanted to take me out for?”

“Too long.”

You smile and bite your bottom lip as he smiles and takes a careful sip of his wine.

“You know you’re cute, come off it.” He says.

“Oh, so you only like me for that fact alone?”

“Not true. I like a lot of things about you, but I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of listing them.”

Your food is brought over and you both thank the food runner before diving in. He watches as you elegantly twirl your spaghetti with your fork onto the large spoon so you don’t make a mess. He starts with his chicken.

“This is as good as I remember.” He says. “Much better company this time around though.” He grins and it makes you blush.

“I agree.”

It’s a good date, a really good date. You were able to open up to him about things you wouldn’t normally. You talked about what your friends were doing with their lives. He talked about his friends as well. Some of them were married, some of them were traveling. He was sort of just in the middle, and fine with it. You don’t finish all of your food, the plates were far too big, but you both wrap it up to take it home. Someone was bound to eat it. You’re both given minty chocolates and Harry squares up the check.

“Thanks for paying.” You say as you get your coat back on.

“Don’t mention it.” He says, taking your hand and leading you out of the restaurant.

When he pulls into the driveway of the large house, he only pulls partially in before parking, keeping the car on, heat blasting.

“What are you doing?”

“M’not ready to go in yet. Not sure I want our date to be over already.” He unbuckles and turns slightly to look at you. You unbuckle as well so you can look at him comfortably.

“Good thing it went well, could make the rest of the week pretty awkward.”

Harry laughs at that and nods his head. He grabs a tic tac from his console and pops one in his mouth.

“Want one?”

“Please.” You hold your hand out and he shakes the small container so one comes out. “People don’t value tic tacs enough. They’re the perfect little mints, you know?” You say, sucking on it.

“You’re really cute, you know that?” He leans his are on the steering wheel so he can rest his chin on his palm. He was smiling at you, just truly enjoying your company. “I have that thought at work nearly twenty times a day, and I never get to say it loud.”

“Well, you should. Nothing wrong with an ego boost, right?”

“Y/N.” He chuckles. “Why would I say something that could so easily make you uncomfortable?” His mouth forms into a straight line. “I would never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable where they work. Why do you think I keep my distance, physically? I never lean over your desk, or get too close to you.”

“I appreciate that a lot. You definitely make me feel comfortable.”

“Good. I’d feel terrible if I ever did something…”

“Harry.” You put your hand over the one he wasn’t resting his chin on. “It’s all good.” You smile. ���You’ve always been really professional, and respectful.” You give him a reassuring smile. “But we’re not at work right now, so if you wanna get a little closer to me…I wouldn’t mind.”

“So, what you’re saying is…” He lifts his chin from his palm and gently cups one of you cheeks. “If I were to kiss you right now, that would be okay?”

“More than okay.”

He smiles and leans in. You close your eyes in anticipation, and smile once his lips are on yours. You always wondered if something like this would ever happen with him. It mostly happened in unclear, faded dreams. His hand gently moves to the back your neck to pull your closer to him. Your hands find the front of his jacket so you can also tug him closer to you. It was difficult kissing in the front seats of the car, but you were trying to just focus on the way he kissed you.

He sighs happily against you. You get a little carried away and take his parted lips as an invitation to gently bite down on his bottom lip. You let go of him and look up at him through your lashes. He doesn’t let you get to far away before he slots his mouth over yours, and you both essentially grope each other. The windows in the car were starting to fog as you both started breathing heavily, and you weren’t even kissing with tongue! Not yet, anyways. You both still easily tasted like Italian food, the tic tacs only helped a little. Harry could feel the front of his pants tightening and that was when he decided to pull away.

“Right.” He clears his throat and adjusts his jacket. “They’re probably wondering, uh, where we are so.”

Before you can say anything, he throws the car in drive and gets you the rest of the way up the driveway. He gets out and opens the door for you. All you do is smile. You couldn’t stop even if you wanted to. When you get inside various people are hanging around the fireplace. Some people are playing cards, and your mother was in the kitchen getting certain dishes prepared so there was less to do on Thanksgiving itself.

“Hey, you two.” Ed says, with a smile. “There’s some hot chocolate in the crockpot if you’re interested.”

“Thanks, Ed.” Harry smiles and takes his coat off. “Would you like some?”

“Please.” You say and hang up the coats.

Harry gets two mugs and fills them up with the homemade drink. Cheryl smiles at the two of you as you walk in and take a sip.

“How was dinner?” She asks.

“Good, we went to that Italian place we all went to last year. Still just as good, if not better.” You tell her.

“Glad to hear it.” She smiles. “Everyone’s just been relaxing. I think tomorrow we’re taking a trip out for a little hike, and then in the evening we’re going to look at those ice castles. They look so much better at night. Then taking a break on Thanksgiving of course. Too much cooking to do.”

“Sounds good, mum.” You finish your drink and stick the mug in the sink. “Think I’m gonna go get cozy for the night.” You give her a kiss on the cheek and give Harry a look before going to your room.

Cheryl smirks at Harry.

“What?”

“You had a good time, then?”

“Yes.” He chuckles and rinses out the two mugs. He leans against the counter and crosses his arms, studying Cheryl. “What’s your angle with all this? Mum’s usually like me, but you’re really adamant about this.”

“As Y/N’s mother, I want her to be happy. She’s gushed about you for years, and well, you’re both at an appropriate age now, I think it’s fine if you date. I know you really well, Harry. You’re not the type to hurt a girl. Even if it didn’t work out, I know you’d still be sweet about it. I trust you with her. No other angle than I think you could make her happy, I think you could make each other happy. Things didn’t work out with my first husband, that’s why divorce is a thing. Ed and I make each other happy, I didn’t have that before. I see the way you two look at each other. You have something, and it would be silly to not go for it.” She puts her knife down that she was using to chop some vegetables. “I suppose it seems like I’m trying to pimp her out, doesn’t it?” She laughs.

“Little bit.” Harry laughs with her.

“Well, I don’t mean to. She can make those choices on her own.” She looks in the direction you had walked off. “Something tells me she’s waiting for you.”

“And you’re alright with that.”

“Well, maybe just don’t get busy while we’re all under one roof, but it might be nice to have an after date chat, don’t you think? Hang out a little?”

Harry laughs and shakes his head. He makes his way down the hall where his bedroom is. He uses the bathroom, brushes his teeth, and then changes into some sweatpants. He puts a long sleeve bed shirt on as well. He opens his door and sees yours is a crack open. He taps on the door frame.

“Y/N?”

“It’s open.” You say, this time a little less loud. He opens the door and sees you on the bed in your pj’s, snuggled up. “Come in.”

He smiles and closes the door behind him. He sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Wanna watch a movie? This TV has a chromecast.”

“Great idea.” He climbs up the bed to sit next to you as you set everything up. You put an easy going comedy on.

You lean back and he puts his arm around you so you can both get really cozy. It didn’t take long until you both passed out. You woke up in the middle of the night with Harry’s arms wrapped around you, his pelvis pressed to your butt. He liked to spoon, he could sleep comfortably like this with you. You sigh and fall back to sleep easily.

//

Harry woke up before you. He presses kisses to your temple before getting out of your bed. When you turn over you feel where he slept was still warm. He must have gotten up to start his day. You were a sweaty mess after your hike. You couldn’t wait for the sun to set so you could go to the ice castles and see them all lit up.

Harry held your hand the entire time, he even wraps his arms around your chest as he walked behind you, pointing out different ways the lights hit the ice. It was very romantic. Or, it would have been if your siblings weren’t around with their kids. But nonetheless, it was nice.

The next day you all help cook and set up for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. You sit right next to Harry, and he holds your hand under the table. You had driven up with your mom, but you opt to drive home with Harry the next day. You both were desperate to just be alone together.

“Do you want me to drop you off so you can unpack and all that? I can come grab you later if you want.”

“That’d be great, and I can just drive myself to your place if that’s easier.”

“Whatever works.”

He helps you get all your things inside, and after a few minutes of kissing, he leaves you to go take care of his own things. You shower and freshen up after unpacking, and then hop in your car to Harry’s. You weren’t sure what your evening would look like, but you didn’t really care. You were just happy to maybe do a little more than kiss.

You text him when you get to his place, and the doorman lets you in. You get into the elevator and head up. You knock on his door and he opens it, yanking you in and shoving you up against the wall next to the door. Clearly, he wanted to do more than kiss as well.

He had one hand cupping your cheek, and the other on the side of your neck to keep you in place. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. His hands drift down your sides, and you feel yourself being hoisted up. You wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you down the hall to his bedroom. You tug at his hair as your tongue slips into his mouth. His molds to yours as he sets you down. He groans into you and it sends a shiver up your spine. You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Get on the bed.” You tell him. He sits down, but your shake your head. “Sit all the way back, I’m not kneeling on the hard wood.”

His eyebrows fly up when he realizes what you’re talking about. He quickly gets back further on the bed. You crawl on, and sit on his lap. He kisses on your neck while you roll your hips down on his. His hands slide to your ass to grope and squeeze at you. You nip at his lips before getting of his lap and settling between his legs. Your fingers fiddle with the button and zipper on his jeans.

“Is this okay?” You ask, looking up at him.

“Yes.” He breathes. “Do whatever you want.”

You grin and slide your hand inside his jeans, palming him above his boxers. His head rolls back from your touch alone. It was something he’s wanted for so long. You tug his jeans down, he lifts his hips to help you, and you get them all the way off. You lift his shirt slightly to kiss on his tattooed stomach as you work your way down. You tug his boxers down and his hard dick springs out, slapping against his stomach. Your eyes grow wide and you look up at him.

“Jesus.” You say under your breath as you start to rub your thumb over his tip.

“Fuck.” He breathes as his head rolls back again. He felt like he was being pampered.

You let go of him, only for a minute, to get some spit on your hand. You start pumping him up and down, slowly at first. You gets yourself settled on your knees, leaning forward so your ass was in the air, and you kiss his tip. He looks down as you swirl your tongue around him before sinking further down on his hard dick. You couldn’t take all of him, even if you tried, so you pump what won’t fit. One of his hands slides down your back and down to your ass to squeeze at you. His other hand works through your hair to hold it back for you. He moans out when you swallow around him and really start bobbing your head up and down.

“Feels so good, Y/N, fuck.” His hips buck up involuntarily, causing you to gag slightly on him. “Sorry, babe.”

You squeeze one his thighs to let him know it’s okay. Your eyes flicker to his tiger tattoo, and if you weren’t sucking him off you’d smile at it. Harry was so interesting. You couldn’t wait to learn everything about him. Like right now, you couldn’t wait to learn how he tasted, how he really tasted.

“Oh god, fuck, I’m gonna come.” He says through gritted teeth. “Y/N, you don’t have to, ah!”

One of your hands slides up to his throat. You just needed him to shut up for a second so you could focus on the task at hand. His eyes were wild while he looked down at the scene before him. Your little hand wrapped around his throat while you sucked on him vigorously. You move up to just suck his tip while his come shoots into your mouth. You suck and suck until he can’t stand it anymore. You pop off him and let his throat go free. You make eye contact with him while you swallow.

“You…you didn’t have to do that.” He says, while trying to get his breath.

“I know, I wanted to.” You wipe the corners of your mouth, and tug his boxers back up. He winces slightly from the sensitivity.

“Alright.” He lifts his shirt up overhead and pins you down, you giggle at his sudden movements. “Your turn.” He unzips, your pants, but you stop him.

“I can’t.”

“Wh-why not?” He pouts.

“I got my period this morning.”

“Of course.” He sighs and hangs his head.

“Sorry.” You giggle and runs your hand through his curls.

“It’s okay, know you have no control over it.” He sits back up against the headboard and pulls you into his arms. “That was really nice, thank you.” He pecks your lips and you smile.

“My pleasure.”

“Want me to order something for dinner? I haven’t had a chance to go grocery shopping yet.”

“How does Chinese sound?”

“Perfect.” He kisses you again before getting off his bed. You lay back and sigh. His bed was really comfy, you could get used to this.

//

Monday morning everyone was feeling refreshed from the holiday. You and Harry drove separately since you still finished work earlier than him. He walks you upstairs like always, only this time before he goes into his office to change out of his gym clothes, he gives you a kiss and a pat on the bum. He knew he had to be careful, though, not too much PDA in the office.

Once he was changed he comes out of his office. You had his coffee ready to go like always. He takes it happily, but decides to speak up.

“I wanna start getting my own coffee.”

“Why?” You frown.

“I feel weird with you doing that kind of stuff for me now that we’re…involved.”

“Oh, is that what we’re calling it?” You smirk.

“Hanging out, dating, whatever.” He shrugs. “Getting me coffee doesn’t fall under the umbrella other tasks as assigned.”

“But it did before?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Only because it was an excuse to have a nice chat in the morning.” He smiles and sips his coffee. “You understand what I’m trying to say, though, right?”

“I do.” You smile at him, and then bite your lip. “Um…when do you, I mean, should we…”

“Let’s see how things go before we go to H.R., yeah?”

He could read your mind, and it gave you some relief.

“Okay.”

He winks at you and goes back into his office. He had a ton of emails to answer from being off last week.

“Y/N?” He calls for you and you go right in.

“Yes?” He shoots his eyes at you. “Mr. Styles.” You grin.

“If I forward you a few emails, could answer some people for me? I hate to make you the middle man, but some of this doesn’t need my attention.”

“Of course! Happy to help.” You smile.

“Thanks you.” He smiles back. “Would you mind closing my door? I have some calls to make.”

You nod and close the door behind you. He forwards you about ten emails, but you didn’t mind. It gave you something to do. You worked fast, so you often would get bored. He’s in and out of his office once his calls are made. When noon finally rolls around he comes out of his office and drums his fingers on your desk. You were standing up, thanks to having that kind of desk, and had your earbuds in. You raise an eyebrow at him and pause your music.

“Yes?”

“It’s lunch time.” He grins.

“So it is.”

“Would you like to join me?”

“Where?”

“Just in my office.” He shrugs.

“Alright.” You smile. “I just need to heat my food up.”

“Great, come in when you’re all set.”

You go to the breakroom to grab your good. You lean on the counter next to the microwave as you wait for your food to heat up. Paula and a couple of other women walk in.

“Oh, hi, Y/N.” She says.

“Hi ladies, have a good Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, it was good. Probably not as good as yours though. Must be nice to go skiing.”

“It’s an old family tradition.”

“Well, it’s not just family though, is it?” She scoffs and grabs her good out of the fridge.

“Everyone that goes might as well be.” The microwave beeps and you grab your food. “Is there a problem?”

“Not at all.” She shrugs and puts her food in the microwave. “Must be nice, is all.”

“What?”

“To just get everything you want all the time.” Another woman says.

“I don’t…I work really hard for the things I have.”

“Right, must be nice to just pay mommy rent while you live in her pool house.”

“She’s alone a lot. My step-dad is a pilot, he’s not home with her when she’d like him to be. I wanted to move out and she asked me if I’d want to live in our…you know what? I don’t owe any of you an explanation. You can just be bitter.” You scoff and leave quickly. You go right into Harry’s office and sit down with a huff.

“Everything alright?”

“No.” You shake your head and angry stick your fork into your lunch. “There’s a bunch of bitches that work here, and I’m annoyed.” You sigh. “You don’t think everything’s been handed to me, do you?”

“I think you’ve lived a very blessed life, but your mum’s done a good job raising you. I’ve seen you act like a real brat before, but I wouldn’t call you spoiled or anything.”

“Gee, thanks.” You roll your eyes.

“Tell me what happened, what’s going on?”

“Paula and her crones were a little rude to me in the breakroom.”

“They’re just mad because I don’t pay them the time of day, and they’re jealous you work for me. I’m sorry you’re getting the brunt of that.”

“It’s okay…maybe we should go to H.R. sooner then. If they find out about anything before we disclose…they could just make it worse. The whole thing just feels so high school, it’s fucking stupid. Grow up.” You shake your head and take a bite of your food. You look at him. He had his chin resting on his palm, smiling at you. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just cute when you get all fired up.”

“You think everything I do is cute.” You chuckle.

“You got me there.” He takes a bite of his own food. “We can go down a bit before you leave for the day if you like. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable with anything. And…I mean…do you want me to talk to your mum?”

“About what?”

“I can tell her that the other women have been rude. I can tell her what they’ve said to me before too. Or I could just straight up talk to them myself. I don’t care.”

“Let’s just go to H.R. first.” You take a sip of your water. “I don’t wanna add fuel to the fire.”

“Fair enough.” He sighs. “So, how would you like to come over tonight? I have stuff to make this chicken and noodle dish in my instant pot. Only takes like thirty minutes once it’s altogether.”

“That sounds amazing, but I can’t. I make dinner with mom on Mondays. We make a big casserole that we can have during the week. You could come over if you wanted. You know how much she loves when you come over for dinner.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t be, please, come to dinner.”

“Alright.” He smiles. “Um…” His voice gets a little quieter. “How’s your, uh, are you still, um…?”

“Yes, I still have my period.” You chuckle. “I promise, once it’s done, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” He stands up from his desk and comes over to you. He cups your cheeks in his hands and leans in to kiss you. Just as his lips were on yours, there’s a knock on his door. “Jesus Christ.” He groans. He walks over to the door and opens it. “Yes?”

“Hi, Harry.”

“Oh, hi, Jennifer.”

“I came by because I have some of that pumpkin br-“ She stops when she sees you sitting. “Sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Just a little lunch meeting.” You say, standing up. “Lots of emails and meetings to get through this afternoon. Mr. Styles wanted us on the same page. Excuse me.” You stand up and look at him before leaving.

“Leave it open, please.” He says to you and you nod.

“Anyways, I brought you that pumpkin bread you like so much.”

“Ah, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” He takes it from her and he puts it on his desk.

“Well, you raved about it last year, so I made sure to make more.” She blushes. “How was your break? You went skiing with Cheryl’s family, right?”

“Yeah…it was fun. I get along well with everyone.”

“Must be nice to be so close with the boss.”

“I suppose.”

“Anyways, um, do you have plans Friday?”

You hear her ask it, and your eyes widen with rage. You never really realized how much people through themselves at him.

“Uh, well, this is sort of awkward, but I’m sort of seeing someone, and I’ll probably be seeing them Friday, sorry.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Harry.” Her face goes red. “I had no idea.”

“Well, that’s the funny thing about having a personal life, it’s, uh, personal.”

You can’t help but laugh when you hear him say that. You clap your hand over your mouth so they don’t hear you. You watch Jennifer leave his office in defeat. He comes out to you.

“I’m so sorry you had to hear that.”

“Oh, it’s fine.” You shake your head. “So, you’re seeing someone, huh? I wonder how long that’ll take to spread around.” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Very funny. What did you want me to say, that I have a girlfriend? Haven’t really had that conversation yet have we?”

“Conversation about what?” Your mom says. “Harry, we have a meeting in five, get your laptop. Phil’s in on this one.” She rolls her eyes. “Hi, honey.” She smiles at you.

“Hi.” You smile back. “Can Harry join for dinner tonight?”

“Course he can, happy to have him.” She looks back at Harry. “Let’s go.”

Harry grabs his laptop and follows your mom.

//

Around 4PM, Harry grabs you so you both can go see Mary in H.R.

“Hi you two.” She smiles. “To what do I owe this visit?”

“Mary, Y/N and I are, uh, seeing each other.”

“Oh! Well, that’s great. Is it serious?”

“It could become serious, it’s still new.” You say. “We just wanted to do the right thing and disclose it.”

“And did this start on company property?”

“No.” You say at the same time.

“Alright then, let me get the forms. Y/N, you know things could get sticky with Harry being your supervisor.”

“I know, we’ve discussed it.”

“And…your mother…?”

“She’s thrilled.” You say with a smile.

“Alright, here you go. Fill these out and bring them back to me tomorrow morning.”

“Can do, thanks Mary.” Harry smiles.

Harry walks you out to your car and gives you a quick peck on the cheek goodbye. He tells you he’ll be over around seven for dinner, and you tell him to bring something to sleep in.

//

“Wait, so has everyone in our office hit on you?” Your mom asks Harry as she spoons him some lasagna. “Why did you tell me before?”

“It wasn’t really a big deal.” He shrugs.

“It’s bound to get around that he’s seeing someone, and it’ll only be a matter of time before everyone finds out it’s me.”

“Well, then, they’ll just have to deal with it, won’t they? We’re all adults.” She shakes her head as she sits down. “If anyone has an issue, they can bring it up to me.”

Everyone takes a bite of the lasagna.

“Mm, well done, Y/N.” Your mom says.

“Yeah, it’s delicious.” Harry smiles at you.

“Thanks.”

After dinner, you and Harry say goodnight to your mom and head out to the pool house. You settle in on your couch for some TV and much needed snuggles.

“Does your mum ever leave to visit Ed on his routes?”

“On the weekends sometimes, why?”

“Well, if you don’t wanna be alone on the property, you can always stay with me.”

“Aww.” You kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks.” You shift yourself so you can straddle his lap, and bury your head in the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and rubs your back.

“Feels nice to just do this.”

“Mhm.” You nuzzle into him further.

“Comfortable?” He chuckles.

“You have no idea.” You kiss his neck and sigh. “Wanted this for so long, Harry.” You kiss his neck again, and linger a little this time.

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“You’re gonna get me all riled up, and I can’t do anything to you that I want to.”

“I could just take care of you again, I don’t mind.”

“But I wanna be able to take care of you, Y/N.”

You lift your head so you can look at him.

“Just a few more days, then I’m all yours.”

“Can’t wait.”

“So…do we really have plans Friday night?”

“Sure.” He smirks. “Anything you have in mind?”

“I need to go to the mall to do some holiday shopping. Feel up to it?”

“The mall on a Friday after work?” He raises his eyebrows. “You’re serious?”

“I’m an expert shopper.” You peck at his lips. “And if you come with me you’ll get a reward.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that.”

//

Friday after work, you and harry drive out to the mall. Everyone at work seemed pretty cool the rest of the week. Maybe a memo went out? You tried not to question it. All you could focus on was how cute Harry looked in his suit while walking around the mall with you. You at least had the sense to change.

“Let’s see, mom’s been looking for a new baking set, so let’s stop in at Crate and Barrel, first.”

“Sounds good.”

Harry basically just follows you in and out of a ton of different stores. He’s a perfect gentleman and carries all your bags. You insist you can carry some, but he tells you you’re crazy, and you just keep walking. Eventually you walk by a Victoria’s Secret. You hadn’t shopped there in a really long time since it was super overrated, but a wicked idea comes over you.

“Harry, are you getting hungry?”

“Starved.”

“Why don’t we go to Chipotle? Just have something quick? I need to stop into a couple more stores. You know what I like form there, right?”

“The tacos.”

“Exactly, why don’t you head in and I’ll meet you, yeah?”

“Works for me.”

You watch him walk away before going into the store. Your period ended Wednesday, but you two hadn’t had time to get intimate. You look at a few things, and fine a cute little turquoise set that you think he’d like.

“Would I be able to buy this and then go change into it?” You ask the woman at the register.

“Of course, miss.”

You find Harry in Chipotle, and scarf down your tacos. He gets everything you bought into the car and off you go.

“Mine or yours, babe?” He asks.

“Let’s go to yours. Your bed is so comfy.”

“So is yours.” He rubs his hand over your thigh.

“I do my best.” You chuckle. “But I’d definitely rather go to yours tonight.”

He smiles and takes the exit for his apartment. You tell him the bags can just stay in the trunk for now. You both get upstairs, and he sighs with relief when he gets his tie off.

“Just gonna change.” He says to you.

“That’s a good idea, I’ll do the same.”

You follow him in and he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s your bag?”

“Oh, I just figured you’d be give me something to wear.”

“Sure!” He turns to his dresser. “Do you want sweatpants, shorts, just a big…” he turns back to you and his jaw drops when he sees your lingerie. “When…where…what’s happening right now?”

“Why do you think I sent you off to get food?” You stroll over to his and run your hands up his chest. “Do you like it?”

“You look incredible. Been dreaming about this.”

He wraps his arms around you and kisses you. You moan when his hands run down your back and down to your ass.

“I’m gonna treat you so well, make you feel amazing because you don’t deserve anything less.”

He lays you down on the bed and strips down to his boxers. He hovers over you and kisses down your chest. He sucks on the fleshy area that’s spilling out of the top of your lacey bra. His hands move around your to unhook it, and he gets it off of you all the way. He sucks on each of your nipples, swirling his tongue around, really putting a show on for you.

“You always smell so fucking good, I love your perfume.” He says as he kisses down your stomach.

“I knew you liked it.” You run a hand through his hair. “I just had to keep wearing it.”

“Drives me crazy. It’s the sweetest smell in the world.”

He sucks a nice bruise on your hip while his thumb trails over the lace material of your panties. He could see that you’re wet for him already, he can feel it to once his thumb pushes gently inside. You groan while he does it.

“Please, don’t tease me, Harry.”

“But that’s the best part. Gotta really make sure you want it.”

“I do, I swear, please, just take them off.

“You went to all this trouble to buy these for me, shame for them to go to waste.” He kisses you through the material and your hips buck up towards his mouth. “So reactive.” He smirks.

“You know, I could easily just go home and do this myself, so if you want to-“

“Don’t be like that.” He pouts and hooks his fingers into his panties. “I’m simply trying to savor the moment. I’m about to see this precious little cunt for the first time. You have no idea how honored I feel.”

He slides your panties down your legs and tosses them aside. He kisses both of your knees before spreading your legs apart. He gazes at you.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Harry.” You giggle and kick at him. “Stop it.” You were starting to blush.

“Can’t help it.”

He gets settled between your legs and spreads you apart with his thumbs. He uses his fingers to rub around your already slick folds. He sucks the same fingers into his mouth and it makes you bite your bottom lip. His middle finger runs along your center before slowly pushing inside. You gasp when you feel the cool of his ring hit you. He pumps it in and out of you, just trying to gauge how tight you may be.

“When was the last time?”

“When was the last time what?” You grunt.

“You’re really tight, not complaining, but I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I don’t know, um, I can’t really think right now while you’re doing that.”

“Alright.” He takes his finger away from you completely and you whimper.

“The last time it was someone, and not just one of my dildos was over the summer, alright?”

“When do you use the-“

“Not that often, only sometimes. I’ll fucking let you use one on me sometime if it means you’ll just keep working me over, please, Harry.” You pout at him.

“Can’t say no to that can I?”

He uses both of his hands to keep your legs open, and he dives right in. He licks all around you and sucks on your clit harshly.

“Oh my god.” You tug at his hair just as hard it makes him groan against you.

You feel his teeth graze over the little nub, and it makes you clench around nothing. You wanted his fingers again, but he needed his hands on your thighs to keep you open. He pulls up from you.

“Ride my face.”

“What?!”

“Come on, come sit on my face. I’ll fuck you with my tongue, it’ll feel great.”

He lays back with his head on the pillow and gestures for you to come to him. You shrug and straddle his face. You gasp when you feel his tongue on you again. You grip at his head board, and your eyes roll into the back of your head when you feel the slight scruff on his chin rub up against you. He gets his tongue inside you, and you essentially start riding it. His hands grip your hips, pressing bruises into your plushy skin.

“Oh my god, Harry, holy shit.”

The bed was shaking at this point. You thought you might be hurting him, but when you looked down his eyes were closed and he looked like he was in pure bliss fucking you with his tongue.

“Fuck, oh my god, fuck, fuck!” You scream as you feel your release come.

You feel Harry suck on your cunt so he doesn’t miss a drop of anything. He slowly lifts you off of him so he can get some air. His mouth, chin, and a little of his nose were wet with your slick.

“Sorry.” You use your hand to clean him up.

“Don’t be.” He licks his lips. “You taste so fucking good, could do that for hours.”

“How about you use your dick instead?”

“You’re ready for that? We don’t have to move that fast if you don’t want to.”

“Harry, I really want you to fuck me. I’ve wanted you to fuck me for five fucking years, please.”

He grabs you by your throat and pins you down on the bed.

“No need to beg, darling, all you had to do was say you wanted to.” He lets you go and kiss your lips. He stands up off the bed and takes his boxers off. “See, I’m getting nice and naked for you.” He smirks. “Do I need to use a condom or…?”

“Nah, I have an IUD. Wanna feel you.”

He smiles and gets back on the bed. He pumps himself a couple of times and spreads you back apart. He pushes inside you and you can’t help but moan loudly. You’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long, and so has he. It’s incredibly satisfying.

“Ngh, you’re so fucking big, it feels so good.” Your head rolls back as he bottoms out.

He starts moving slowly as he buries his face in your neck. He sucks on your soft skin and lets it go with a pop.

“Fuck.” You breathe.

He snakes a hand between the two of you so he rub at your throbbing clit. You knead one of your own breasts, but he swats your hand away so he can do it.

“You just need to tell me what you want, want you like, and I’ll do it, okay?”

“Okay.”

He dips his head to suck on your nipple and your hands move to his back to dig your nails in. You start tightening around him when you feel his fingers rub your clit with more precision.

“Oh, shit. Oh my god, Harry!” You were panting. You felt like your heart was going to beat out your chest. Your back arches when you come again.

“Feel so fucking good, Y/N.” He fucks your through it, and wait for your to calm down before pulling out. You whimper at the loss of him. “Don’t worry, got a nice position for us I think you’ll like.

He sits up against the head board, and gets you in his lap, facing away from him. You were on his dick again and it felt amazing. You back was flush with his chest, and your head was on his shoulder. His tongue was in your mouth while one of his hands was rubbing your clit in rhythm with his thrusts, and the other was snaked around your chest to keep you in place.

His mouth leaves yours so he can kiss on your neck and shoulder. He looks down at the way he’s rubbing you and then at your face. Your head was rolled back into his shoulder and you were biting your bottom lip.

“Feels good, babe?”

“Feels amazing.” You tighten around him.

“Wanna come together?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, just hold on for me.”

He stops rubbing you, and moves both of his hands to your hips. He moves you up and down faster so you were basically bouncing up and down on him. He was hitting your g-spot perfectly.

“Harry, fuck!”

“Hold on, Y/N.” He groans. “Almost there.”

“Harry, please!”

“One second.”

All of the blood in your body was rushing to your ears, you felt like you couldn’t hear anymore. Your vision was starting to go blurry as well. He nips at your earlobe and then you feel his breath on you.

“Come for me, baby.” He whispers and that’s when you let go.

You feel his warm come shoot up inside you. You cry out as your orgasm prolongs. It was so good, so very good. You both slowly catch your breaths from the ordeal. Your legs felt like gelatin as you stood. You desperately needed to pee.

When you come back out he tosses you a large t-shirt. You giggle and put it on, and then crawl into bed with him. He throws his arm around you as you snuggle up to his chest.

“I don’t wanna sound clingy, but I hope you know, I’m never letting you go.” You say, pressing kisses to cheek, neck, and chest.

“Lucky for you, I like clingy. M’not letting you go either.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you both get settled into a goodnight’s sleep.

//

After basically staying in bed with Harry all weekend, you found it difficult to concentrate at work. You had so many scenarios in your head, but the one you wanted most was for him to bend you over his desk, but he made it clear with you that the office was off limits. He explained that he didn’t want to do anything to risk losing his job. You had to respect that.

The holidays came and went. You each got each other something small since you had only been together for about a month, but you spent the New Year together and it was just wonderful. Most people at work knew you were dating Harry. It was hard not to when he’d randomly get you flowers to keep on your desk, or when he might steal glances of you during a meeting.

Once summer came around again, and you had been there for an entire year, you were up for a promotion. You were excited because it involved you having your own office, but you were sad that you wouldn’t be handling things for Harry anymore. You had to train a new assistant, and you were even less thrilled when you saw it was just some girl fresh out of her undergrad. You thought you’d be jealous, but you watched how Harry was with her. She was to only call him Mr. Styles, and he did the same things with her as he did with you. He never got too close, the door was rarely closed if they were alone together, and a picture of you was front and center on his desk. No room for funny business.

He loved staying over at your place, and swimming in the pool with you, especially at night, and especially when your mom was away. You could get away with skinny dipping, which meant getting away with getting fucked in the pool. You’d cook together and hang out almost every night.

“Hey.” He says to one Saturday afternoon as you both were laying out by the pool.

“Yeah?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Harry.” You chuckle. “You say it like you haven’t been saying it for the last six months.” All he does is pout at you. “I’m in love with you too.”

He smiles and goes back to facing front, taking a sip of his drink. Life was good, life was very, very good.

[fizzingwizard]

personal life stuff venting etc (also tmi menstruation warning)

I'm feeling ok now, but the weekend was weird.

It's been very busy at work. Like, nonstop busy, no time to sit down, no time for a break. Mostly due to people being out sick and no subs. The rest of us have to pick up the slack, etc. It's gotten worse, though, because we have had days that we literally couldn't make ratio. We are just sending teachers to different rooms during the most difficult times and dealing with the ratio being off at quieter periods... It's so difficult to get crafts and stuff done this way. Usually this is my favorite time of the school year, my kids are as grown up as they'll get, and we can have so much fun. It's still fun, but mostly it's me and my co-teachers moving frantically from one thing to another. A lot of it is due to covid, of course. Just gotta hustle.

anyway. I really wanted to be on time updating Fox this weekend, and I wanted to finish my Valentines fic too. But Idk, I was in such a weird headspace. I just hate everything I make sometimes. But when I get that way and I don't write, I tend to lose momentum. It's happened a ton in the past. So this year I made a resolution to push through with writing projects even if they suck. So that's what I did, and I finished the chapter of Fox and I finished the Valentine's fic, and I wrote the majority of both of them over the space of two days. (Which I'm sure the amount of typos can attest to :P)

But I am not in love with the new chapter, even though it's one I was really looking forward to. It just feels off. And then the Valentine's day fic. I almost deleted it four or five times. Like, "closed the document and started to drag it to the trash bin" deleted it. The whole time I was writing it I was like really?? why is this what I'm writing?? it's not that I think it's so terribly awful, but kind of uninspired.

And then I wondered... could I be about to have my period? Bc I had expected it a whole week ago and it didn't come, but I'm often a little irregular so. Idk if I can blame my weird feelings while writing on hormones, but I just felt extra irritable, extra impatient the whole time, it was really frustrating. And then this morning I was indeed sucker-punched by my period. Which doubly sucked because today was HORRIBLE in terms of getting any down time at work xP I was in so much pain. In activity time I just said to my coworker "Let's have all sixteen of them sit down at the table and do coloring pages" (which works now that they have the attention span to sit there for a while lol). We were supposed to paint our solar systems but TOO BAD, Fizz's uterus has mutinied, she needs to freaking sit down for five min without getting up because someone dropped a spoon or bumped their head or needs to go to the toilet right this very second yadda yadda

also this weekend i got to video chat with both my parents at the same time. and boy that was weird. not gonna go into it right. but since the divorce any time we talk separately it feels bad. but they were hanging out together for the superbowl and it felt the same as when i was a kid. actually im tearing up now typing this. during the call i kept thinking how their divorce completely upended how i felt about marriage and relationships, and now seeing them together with things seeming so much the same even though they're so different is freaking me out all over again in a different way. thats neither here nor there but may also have been a factor in why my weekend was weird. by the way yeah im an adult and im behaving like a petulant kids re: my parents' divorce. i know i know.

anyway so I do think maybe hormones were part of it. but im also just generally feeling bad about writing lately. maybe its just that i hadnt done it for a good while, and when i finally got back into it was like a honeymoon period, and now im like wait this is supposed to be fun little escapism. i literally had to bargain with myself back in june when i posted my first fic in ages that i was going to write whatever i wanted, regardless of what other people thought of it, even if it was massively unpopular. i was going to be one hardass mofo who didnt give a shit. welp. unfortunately im still me lol. i know i can just rewrite the bits of those fics i dont like, im just frustrated that right now, i go in to edit and cant think of anything, its like my heads in a fog. words? i know some? haha. gonna keep blaming it on hormones tho.

this is just a vent post so no one take it too seriously. also i know these whiny posts about extremely small problems sound self-centered and are annoying so sorry about that. if i were smart id delete every post in my personal tag. i wont say im never self-centered but makes me feel better to write it down, and putting it on my blog so it's "out there" even if not a single person reads it (i dont really want anyone to, lol) makes it feel less locked away than just writing something private, if that makes sense.

as always im also absolutely swimming in blessings to the point that its seriously ridiculous i feel sad at all. but that's life. anyway i will get over it, probably by next week, lol

just noticed i stopped capitalizing things halfway thru haha

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt 13

AN: Another part is up! Let me know what you’re thinking of the series so far because I’m thinking of ending it soon because I’d hate for it to go on longer than needed. But I am having a lot of fun writing it and love hearing back from you guys! Thank you all for those that have been reading since the beginning and if you’re just finding the series, welcome! Enjoy!

Steven Hyde x Reader

October 15, 1978

The Forman Kitchen

Point Place, Wisconsin           

The morning at the breakfast table, things still hadn’t changed between the three teenagers, but they were at least able to be around each other without fists flying, so y/n took that as a plus. Y/n could barley eat though. She had woken up feeling sick to her stomach; the thought of food repulsing her. She nibbled on her toast and couldn’t even sip on her orange juice without wanting to vomit.             

“Y/n, are you okay?” Kitty asked concerned. “You’ve barley touched your breakfast.”          

Y/n groaned. “Just feeling a little sick is all.”            

Kitty hummed and pressed the back of her hand to y/n’s forehead. “You don’t feel warm. Maybe it was something you ate.”            

Y/n groaned again and put her head down. “Maybe.”           

 “Hey Dad, can you pass the bacon?” Eric asked, stretching arm out.            

Y/n gagged and groaned. “Please don’t say bacon.”           

 Eric smirked and grabbed a piece, biting into it. “Mhmmmm…bacόn.”           

 “Please stop,” she grumbled, her stomach churning.            

“It’s so juicy and chewy and the fat at the end is the best part,” Eric continued, laughing.            

“Oh, God! Did you have to say that?!” she screeched as she made haste to the nearest bathroom. She could feel the contents of her stomach rising before she made it to the bathroom.            

“Did you really have to do that?” Kitty asked, disappointed.             

“Yes,” Eric responded. “Yes, I did.”            

Kitty shook her head in disapproval and brought her fork of food to her mouth.            

Red glared at his son before returning his attention to the newspaper.            

“What?!” Eric asked. “She started it!”            

“Oh, boo hoo, she broke your dolls,” Red mocked.           

 “G.I Joes,” Eric corrected.           

 “Whatever,” his father answered. “Whatever she did isn’t worth making her throw up over.”            

Yes, it is, Eric thought.            

Y/n returned to the kitchen, her skin ashen and her eyes sunken. “I think I’m going to go back to bed so I don’t barf all over the table.”            

“Well, okay honey,” Kitty said getting up and taking her plate to the sink. “I’ll bring you some soup later, okay?”            

Y/n shook her head, making a face of disgust. “Please, Mom. I can’t even think about food right now.”           

 “Well, you have to get some food in you,” Kitty responded. “Otherwise you’ll get even more sick.”            

Y/n nodded. “Okay. I just really want to go back to bed.”            

“Okay sweetie,” Kitty responded, rubbing her daughter’s shoulder. “We’ll see you later.”            

Y/n nodded and stole a glance at Hyde before she made her way upstairs.         

“Eric, I need you to mow the lawn later,” Red demanded as he finished his breakfast.            

“What? Why can’t Hyde do it?”            

“Because unlike your sorry ass, I actually have work,” Hyde replied.           

 Eric glared at him before turning back to Red. “Why do I always have to do it?”           

 “Because I said so!” Red barked.                                                 

                                                   --Time Skip—           

 “So, you think you got food poisoning, huh?” Donna asked that night over the phone.             

Y/n nodded before she realized she was talking over the phone. “Yeah, I do. Every time I move, my body screams at me. My back is hurting so much. And my stupid cramps aren’t helping any either.”           

 “Have you been throwing up that much?”            

“Yeah,” Y/n replied, wiping her sweaty and oily hair out of her face. “I think I pulled a muscle in my back or something because of it. Even my boobs hurt.”    

  “Nausea, back aches, and tender breasts,” Donna counted off. “Hey, you may be pregnant.” Donna chuckled at her own joke.           

 “Ha ha,” Y/n chortled. “You’re funny. Definitely not pregnant.”           

 “Yeah? And how do you know?”            

“Because I’m supposed to be getting my period in a few days. These could be symptoms of PMS. Or maybe both.”            

“Supposed to,” Donna pushed, putting emphasis on her words.            

“Shut up,” Elena laughed. “Stop saying that. I’m not pregnant. Eric would throw himself off a cliff if that happened. Or Hyde. Or Eric would push Hyde off a cliff. One of the three.”          

  Donna chuckled. “But seriously, are you alright?”            

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just can’t do much for a couple of days.”            

“Okay, well if you need anything, you know where to find me.”            

“Thanks Donna,” Y/n said. “I’m going to go to sleep. I’ll talk to you later.”            “Alright, rest easy. Talk to you later.”            

Y/n hung up the phone before turning back around and falling back asleep, feeling her stomach churning. Pregnant.            

The word echoed in her head as sleep quickly enveloped her.                                                                             --Time Skip—           

 “Guys!” Kelso called as he barged through the door in the basement. “The Omen is on TV right now!” He hurriedly made his way over to the television set, switching on the movie.           

 “Kelso, what the hell, man? We were watching that!” Hyde piped up.            “C’mon, it’s Halloween season!” Kelso argued. “Tis the season to be jolly!”            

“That’s Christmas, moron,” Jackie said from behind him.           

 “Well, whatever! I think we should get in the spirit.”            

The gang groaned as they leaned back into their seats.           

 “Hey, where’s y/n?” Hyde asked.            

“Oh, she’s upstairs sleeping,” Donna answered nonchalantly.            

“Still? It’s six o’ clock,” he responded. “She’s been upstairs since this morning.”    

“Well, food poisoning is a real bitch,” she replied. “And so is PMS.”           

 “Alright, TMI,” Eric said and got up to turn up the volume on the TV.            

“Oh, Eric, don’t be such a prude,” Fez said. “It’s completely natural. In my culture, we honor women whenever they go through their monthly ordeal. It’s kind of a big deal. We thank the gods and celebrate their womanhood. Then, we bring them flowers and chocolates and some candy too. Or whatever else they’re craving. They get a week off and can stay at home in bed while their husbands, brothers, fathers, or sons take care of everything.”            

“Wow…can I join your culture?” Donna asked.          

  Fez chuckled. “Sure, if you feel like eating bugs for breakfast.”            

Donna grimaced. “Never mind.” She turned to Eric. “Why don’t you do that for me?”            

“Because a woman shouldn’t bleed for seven days straight and still live,” he deadpanned.           

 “Yeah, I don’t trust anything that can bleed for that long and not die,” Kelso said.            

Hyde looked at him amused. “You can’t even be with a woman for seven days straight, let alone be there for her during her monthly problem.”           

 “Not true! I was with Jackie for three years!”           

 “And you cheated on me at least once a month!” Jackie responded. “Hey…wait a minute!”           

 “You guys, women are sacred. They need to be honored and cherished during this time because the pain they go through, we will never understand,” Fez said gently.            

 “We don’t understand?” Hyde said. “Have you ever been kicked in the nads?”            

“Okay, sure, but imagine getting kicked in the nads for at least 3 days straight,” Donna responded.             

“Oh, God!” Eric said, squirming in his seat. “I can’t even imagine that!”            

“Well, sometimes, it’s even more painful,” Jackie added.             

“What does it feel like?” Kelso asked, staring at her.            

“Well, it can feel like someone is taking a knife to your pelvis and slowly twisting it,” Jackie responded causing all the men in the room to squirm, except for Fez.            

“Fez, man, how are you not effected by this?” Kelso asked.            

“I grew up with five sisters,” he responded, shrugging. “Nothing I’m not used to.”            

“Are you guys seriously talking about periods?” Y/n asked as she slowly made her way down the stairs.            

“Hey, you’re up,” Donna stated. “How are you feeling?”            

“Pretty lousy,” Y/n said. “But I’d rather be miserable with company than go through it alone.” She plopped down on the couch next to where Hyde was sitting.            

“Are you going through your…girl problem?” Kelso asked nervously.            

“What? No,” Y/n replied. “I mean, I could be, but it could also be food poisoning.”           

 “Well, what did you eat?” Hyde asked.            

“Nothing out of the ordinary and nothing that you guys didn’t eat,” she replied.           

 “Must be the PMS thing then,” Donna said, laughing when Eric shifted uncomfortably in his seat.           

 “Can we please stop talking about my sister’s cycle? It’s giving me a very vivid image that I’d rather not have.”            

“Y/n, do you need anything?” Fez asked sweetly. “Chocolate? Water? A hot water bottle?”            

Y/n smiled at him. “Why, yes, Fez. That would be lovely.”           

 “Okay, I’ll be right back!” Fez beamed and hopped out the chair to run out the door.           

 “Hey, man, why are you taking care of my chick?” Hyde asked, stopping Fez at the door. “That’s my job.”           

 “Then why aren’t you doing it?” Fez shot back.            

Y/n’s mouth fell open in a laugh as she covered it with her hand. Donna and Jackie tightened their lips to keep themselves for laughing.            

“’Cause she didn’t ask,” he responded.            

“She shouldn’t have to,” Fez said calmly. “You should just do it for her. That’s how you keep your woman happy.”            

“Then why couldn’t you keep Jackie happy?” Hyde quipped.            

Y/n gasped. “Steven!”            

“No, no it’s okay,” Fez said, oddly calm. “You know, Hyde, normally that would bother me, but not today because I’m not the one having another man making my woman happy.”            

Hyde grabbed the nearest object—a magazine—and threw it at Fez, but before it could hit him, he slammed the door shut; the magazine hitting the door with a thud.            

 “He’s right, you know,” Y/n responded with a smile.            

“Do you really feel that way?” Hyde asked her.            

Y/n shrugged. “Not really. It would be nice though.”            

“I see,” Hyde said and stood from his chair, stalking his way to his room.           

 “Steven, wait!” she called after him. “I wasn’t being serious!”            

He flapped a hand at her without turning to look at her and slammed his door.            

“Wow,” Jackie said, puffing out her cheeks. “That escaladed quickly.”           

Y/n shrunk down in her seat, feeling guilty. “What else is new with this group?” 

 “This is great!” Eric beamed, causing everyone to stare at him in confusion. “Now Hyde is mad at you too! Not just me.”           

 Y/n groaned and stood up slowly. “You’re an immature dillhole. I’m going back to bed.”           

 “What should I tell Fez when he gets back?” Donna asked.           

 “That I’m upstairs and he can come up.”           

 “I don’t think Hyde will like that very much,” Kelso mentioned.            

“Who cares?” Eric griped.           

 “Look, I’ll deal with Hyde later,” Y/n responded, ignoring her twin. “Right now, I just want to feel better.” She trudged up the stairs, leaving the group alone.           

 “What a mess,” Donna said.          

  “Tell me about it,” Jackie responded. “Eric, are you still mad at them?”           

 “Of course, I am!” he responded, surprised that Jackie would ask him such a question. “How can I not be?”           

 “Well, you can try not being mad,” Jackie suggested sarcastically.            

 “Eric, give it a rest, yeah?” Donna said. “It’s been over a week.”           

 Eric growled and leaned back in his seat.            

 “He was supposed to be moved out by now,” he mumbled.           

 “Shut. Up. Please,” Donna snapped. “He literally has nowhere to go. You have to be a real prick to throw him out on the streets. It’s not like he murdered your sister.”            

“You just don’t get it, Donna!” he whined. The whole group groaned.            

“Yeah, yeah, yeah we don’t get it because it’s not our sister and we would be pissed too if Hyde was nailing her, blah blah blah. Seriously, Eric, I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we’re sick of hearing about it,” Kelso said, irritated. He just wanted to watch the movie. Why wasn’t anybody respecting that?            

Eric furrowed his brows at his friends. “You guys really feel this way?”            

“YES!” Jackie, Donna, and Kelso said in unison.           

 “Oh. Well, then, fine,” Eric grumbled and stood up.           

 “Where are you going?” Donna asked.           

 “Since you guys are tired of hearing about it, I’m going to go somewhere else.”           

 “Oh my God, you are such a drama queen,” Donna groaned. “Just sit back down and watch the movie with us.”            

“Nah, I’m good. See you guys later.” With that, he grabbed his coat and shut the door, leaving the three teenagers left to watch the movie.            

“He’s gotten more annoying than usual,” Jackie commented.            

“You know, Jackie, normally I would be offended by that, but this time I have to agree with you,” Donna responded.            

“Well, now we can watch the movie,” Kelso said.            

The three sat in silence on the couch until Kelso tried to sneak his hand up Donna’s leg.           

 “Kelso!” Donna screeched as she slapped his hand away.           

 “Damn, Donna! I was just looking for the remote!”           

 “The remote is on the table, you idiot,” Jackie pointed out.           

 Kelso looked between the two girls with a hurt look. “Women are mean!” He stomped out the basement, forgetting the movie.            

The girls looked at each other and shrugged, returning their attention to the TV before Donna got up to change it back to the channel they were watching.                                                

                                                 --Time Skip—            

Y/n stared down at the home pregnancy test, shock filling her. Positive. The test was freaking positive. She was going to be a mother. Oh God, how would everyone else react? What kind of mother was she going to be?           

 “Oh, Y/n, how could you?” Kitty asked from behind her, hurt playing on her face.    

“Wait, Mom--!” Y/n tried to call after her mother before Red showed up at her side.           

 “How could you be such a disgrace to the family?!” Red shouted, his face turning pink. Kitty turned to her husband’s side and started sobbing. “Look what you’re doing to your mother!”            

“No, but Daddy—” Y/n said, tears welling in her eyes.            

“Wow, you’re such a whore!” Eric laughed as he suddenly appeared by their parents’ side. “And here I thought Laurie would be the one to get knocked up from some rando.”            

“What?” she asked her twin, tears cascading down her pale cheeks.            

“Wow, little sister, you certainly top me,” Laurie said, smirking.            

“Laurie?” Y/n questioned.           

 “I’m leaving you,” Steven said coldly, appearing in front of her. “You were just a fling. You knew this from the start. I can’t have a baby with a loser.”           

 “You said you loved me!” Y/n screamed.          

  “I lied,” Steven said and smirked. “I only strung you along so that I could nail you. Now, look at you. You’re fat and alone.”            

Y/n looked down and saw that her stomach had enlarged. “What?” she whispered.           

 “We can’t have you in the family,” Kitty suddenly said. “We can’t have a whore in the family.”            

“You have Laurie!”           

 “At least she didn’t get pregnant!” her mother shot back. “You and your mistake can get out of our house, out of our lives. You’re no longer welcome!”            

“No, Mom! Please, I need you. I need Daddy and Steven, please. I can’t do this alone. I need you more than ever.”           

 She went to grab his hands, but he jerked away from her. “Well, you’re gonna have to do it alone.”            

Tears cascaded down her face as she tried to blink them away, but as quickly as they appeared, they disappeared. Suddenly, Y/n found herself sitting alone in a total darkness, a single light shining above her.           

 “No,” she whimpered, looking around. “No. No. NO!”            

Y/n jerked awake, sweat coating her forehead. Her breathing was slightly heavy as she glanced at the clock. 2:08AM. She sighed and fell back onto her pillow, fingers threading through her sweaty and knotted hair. She couldn’t believe she’d been asleep for eight hours.            

Her room suddenly flooded with light as Kitty, dressed in her pink robe, hair a rat’s nest, stood in her cracked door. “Y/n, honey, are you alright? I heard you yelling.”           

 “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Y/n replied. “Just had a nightmare.”            

“Oh, honey, it’s okay,” Kitty replied and moved closer to adjust herself on the bed. “You know, when you were little, you would get nightmares all the time. And the only thing that would soothe you and get you to go back to sleep is when I would gently caress your hair until you fell back asleep.”            

Y/n smiled softly. “Too bad I’m older now, huh?”            

“Oh, nonsense,” Kitty said and leaned over, caressing her hair back. “You’re never too old for your mother’s love.”            

Y/n smiled and turned on her side, facing Kitty.            

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked her daughter after a moment of silence.            

Y/n thought about it for a minute. She actually wanted to talk to her about it, but she knew if she did, she could open up something that she really didn’t want to. Even if it were just a dream, Kitty would know that it was something much deeper than that.            

“No,” she responded after a beat. “I’m okay. Thank you, though.”          

  “Of course sweetheart,” Kitty cooed. She continued to smooth Y/n’s hair, effectively calming her down. Fifteen years later and it still works.           

 Y/n could already feel sleep overcoming her again. “Thank you, Mommy,” she mumbled as her eyelids grew heavier.            

“You’re absolutely welcome,” Kitty responded and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “I love you.”           

 “I love you too,” Y/n whispered before falling asleep once more.                                                                         

                                                 ⧝⧝⧝            

Y/n woke up the next day, just as horrible as the day before. She dragged herself out of bed and trudged downstairs to see her family eating lunch.            

“Morning Sunshine,” Kitty cheerfully greeted her. “You must be really sick to sleep in till noon.”            

Y/n grunted back and grabbed some orange juice and sat down. The smell of their lunch making her nose curl, repulsing her.           

 “How’re you feeling, kitten?” Red asked.            

“I’m okay,” Y/n responded. “Could be better. Still feel kinda nauseas and tired.”            

“You want some dry toast?” Kitty asked. “You haven’t eaten much.”           

Y/n nodded tiredly and put her head on the table. “I’d love some actually.”            

Kitty smiled and got up, popping bread in the toaster. “Oh, your foreign friend dropped off some stuff for you. I left it here on the counter.”            

“Hm?” Y/n hummed, looking at Kitty.            

“He said something to do with your menstrual cycle, so he dropped off a hot water bottle, some midol, and a box of chocolate.”           

 “Oh, come on, Kitty, not while we’re eating!” Red exclaimed, disgusted.           

 The whole time, Eric and Steven had been quiet. Steven glared at the gifts through his aviators. Eric rolled his eyes and continued to eat his lunch.            

“What a sweet boy!” Kitty laughed. “You know, I don’t think I’d mind if you ended up with him.”            

Y/n smiled as Kitty set a plate of two slices of dry toast in front of her.           

 “I’m going to make you some tea as well. You gotta get some liquids in you,” Kitty stated.           

 “Kitty, don’t put ideas in her head!” Red said, throwing down the paper he was reading.           

 “What do you mean by that?” Y/n asked, offended. “Is it because of his skin color?”            

“What?” Red asked, scrunching up his face. “God, no! I don’t want you dating anybody. You’re too young.”           

 “Dad, I’m eighteen,” Y/n deadpanned as she nibbled at her toast. “Eric and Donna have been dating since they were, like, eight.”            

“No, we haven’t,” Eric argued.            

 “Shut up, yes you have,” Y/n said.            

“Eric’s different,” Red continued. “Eric is a man, or as close of a man as he can get. Besides, Donna is the best he’s ever going to do.” He started laughing, but he was the only one who found that funny.           

 “Thanks Dad,” Eric deadpanned.            

“Red Forman!” Kitty exclaimed.            

“What? It’s funny!” Kitty gave him a hard look making him shut up. “Fine, it’s not.”            

Y/n managed a small smile before bringing a piece of toast to her lips. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’m not even seeing anyone.”            

Eric stopped mid-bite to give side eye to his twin sister. Y/n returned a hard, cold stare to her brother as if to say don’t you freaking dare.           

 “So, Fez gave you those huh?” Steven asked.            

“Yeah, I guess,” Y/n replied. “That was really nice of him.”           

 “Yeah, real nice,” he responded slowly.            

“It was,” Y/n replied, staring at her boyfriend in suspicion. “You got something to say?”           

 “No, why would I?” he responded. “Why would I have anything to say that my best friend is flirting with my…other best friend?”            

Kitty stood at the stove as she waited for the tea to heat up and squinted her eyes at Steven before looking to her husband who was giving him the same look.           

 “What’s your deal, Hyde?” Y/n asked him, growing annoyed with him.            

“Oh, nothing,” he responded. “I’m just saying that he’s never done this for another girl before unless it was Jackie.”            

“Steven, what’re you getting at?” Red asked him.            

“Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me, Y/n?” Hyde said, staring coldly at her.           

 Y/n returned the glare. “If you’re insinuating that Fez likes me, you are terribly, terribly wrong.”            

“Then why would he do it for you?” he asked impatiently.           

 “I don’t know!” Y/n responded, flabbergasted. “Because he wants to be nice?”            

“Nice, ha!” Steven hollered, causing everyone to look at him in surprise. “Guys don’t do things just to be nice.”            

Y/n gave him a look. “Why do you care so much what he does?”           

 “Yeah, Hyde. Why do you care?” Eric asked with a smirk.            

Steven realized what he was doing and looked at everyone who was looking at him with furrowed brows. He straightened his posture and looked down at his lunch, clearing his throat. “I don’t. I just find it rather odd.”            

“And if Fez does like me, what’s it to ya?” Y/n asked, cocking her head to the side.           

 “It doesn’t,” Hyde replied coldly, taking a sip from his iced tea.             

Y/n lifted an eyebrow at him before finishing off her toast.             

“Is there something going on between you two?” Red asked.            

The couple stole a glance at each other before looking to Red.           

 “No, not at all,” Y/n replied casually.           

 “Why would there be?” Steven asked.            

“I don’t know. You’re acting weird,” Red commented. “Stop it.”            

Steven grinned at him. “Yes, sir.”           

 “Here’s your tea, sweetheart,” Kitty said, bringing over a mug of tea. “And I put in some honey, Honey.” She laughed at her own joke.            

Y/n chuckled softly. “Thanks, Mom.”           

 “Oh, by the way, Sasha called for you yesterday,” Kitty said, sitting back down.            

Y/n perked up. “She did? Why?”          

  “I’m not too sure. She wanted to talk to you about something, but I told her you weren’t feeling well. So, I took down her number and told her you’d give her a call back when you feel better.”           

 “Yeah, I’ll call her back once I can stop vomiting.”            

“And yet, you’ve been able to achieve that this whole time,” Eric said sarcastically. “Must feel nice to finally be able to achieve something for once. Congrats, sis.”           

Y/n glared at him. “If I could control it, I’d do it on you right now.”            

“Okay, that’s enough,” Kitty cut in. “Finish your lunches.”            

“I can’t. I’m going downstairs to watch TV,” Y/n whimpered.           

 “Okay. Don’t forget your tea!” Kitty called out.            

Y/n turned back around and grabbed the warm mug between her cold hands and made her way downstairs. On her way, she grabbed the midol and the hot water bottle.            

At this point, Steven was seething as he watched his girlfriend take Fez’s gifts.        

 “Alright, well, I’m heading out for a few,” Steven announced, quickly getting up. “Thanks for the lunch, Mrs. Forman.”           

 “Oh, you’re welcome, dear,” she responded.           

 “Wanna come?” Hyde asked Eric.            

Eric looked up at him. “What for?”           

 “Just come on,” Hyde pushed and grabbed Eric by the shirt, tugging him out the door.           

 “But I’m not finished!” Eric whined.           

 “You are now,” Hyde said before closing the sliding door.            

“What’s with them?” Red asked.           

 “I have no clue,” Kitty responded, not caring. “They’re always up to something.”             

Outside, Eric shoved himself out of Hyde’s grasp. “What the hell, man?”            

“Get in the car,” Hyde ordered, unlocking the El Camino.            

“What? No,” Eric said, standing in his place.           

 “Get in. We have to talk.”           

 Eric crossed his arms. “I have nothing to say to you.”            

 “Great. Then you can just listen,” Hyde responded standing in front of the driver’s side door, waiting for Eric to get in. His arm rested on top of the car casually as if not a care in the world. “You going to get in?”            

“Why should I?”           

 Hyde groaned. “Just get in the car, man!”            

“Are you kidnapping me?” Eric asked as he slowly made his way to the passenger’s side.            

“Of course not.”            

“You gonna take me to the middle of nowhere, take my clothes after you convince met to skinny dip in the lake, and abandon me while I walk around naked and afraid like last time?”            

Hyde rolled his eyes. “I came back for you, didn’t I?”           

 “Three hours later!”           

 “For the love of God, just shut up and get in the car!”           

 “It was so cold,” Eric whimpered as he slid in the front seat and shut the door. “Where are we going?”           

 “For a drive,” Hyde responded and backed out the driveway. Once they were on the road, Hyde broke the silence. “Listen, man. This whole thing between you, me, and Y/n has gotten way out of hand.”            

“You don’t have to tell me.”            

“What happened to you shuttin’ up and letting me talk?”           

 Eric sighed, making a face. “Fine.”           

 “Look,” Hyde began. “I know you’re pissed off at us for dating and going behind your back—”           

 “And lying.”           

 “…Yeah, and lying about it. But I need you to know that everything I said is true. Y/n is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and when I say that I will do whatever I can to make her happy, I mean it. And this whole ending a friendship over it is stupid.”           

 Eric stared at Hyde in disbelief. “You’re serious about this? About my sister?”             

“Yeah, man. That’s why I’m here talking to you,” he responded and turned onto the main road. “I know we could’ve gone around it differently, but come on man, what would you have done? You’ve been saying that we need to put ourselves in your shoes, well put yourself in our shoes. Imagine if Donna was my sister, but you really liked her. What would you have done?”           

 Eric was silent for a minute. “Well, we probably wouldn’t be friends considering you kissed her and tried to get with her.”            

Hyde gave an exasperated sigh. “Man, will you focus?”            

 Eric thought about it for a second. “I guess I can understand that.”           

 “And I want you to know that I won’t disappoint her. I will take care of her and make sure she gets everything she wants and needs. I’m not going to be like the rest of my family and be a deadbeat and end up in prison. I will do good for her.”            

Eric turned his gaze to him and suddenly felt an anchor of guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. “Oh, man. Look, Hyde when I said that…I didn’t mean it. I was angry and—”           

 “It’s fine,” Hyde said, cutting in.            

“No, no it’s not,” Eric turned to face him. “It was wrong of me to say that to you. It’s just that…she’s my sister, man. My twin, you know? My favorite sister. I can’t help but feel, you know, maybe a little overprotective of her.”            

“No, but you were right,” Hyde confessed and turned onto the highway. “I probably was headed down that path anyway. But being with her has actually made me want to be better.”            

Eric looked at Hyde like he had two heads. “You look like my friend, but you don’t sound like him. Where’s Hyde?!”           

 Hyde chuckled and turned off the highway, noticing Eric calling him his friend. “I know. It’s sickening.”            

Eric laughed and turned back around, facing the front. He noticed they were entering downtown. “Hyde…where are we going? This isn’t just a drive anymore.”            

“You’ll see in a minute,” he said and continued down a narrow road before stopping in front of a super store. He turned the car off and sat back quietly. “Just so you know, this wasn’t easy for me to talk about it. So, if you tell anyone, I’ll deny the whole thing.”            

Eric nodded and looked at Hyde seriously. “I’m still not happy about it, but I guess I don’t have a choice but to accept it. You two really do seem happy.”            

Hyde nodded and looked down. “We are, man.”            

“Just…don’t hurt her,” Eric said. “Then I’d have to kick your ass and then I’d end up getting my ass kicked and then Red will kick my ass for getting my ass kicked and then he’d hunt you down like a dog and then he’d kick your ass.”            

Hyde sat there in stunned silence. “Wow…that’s…detailed. How long have you been sitting on this?”            

“Pretty much since I found out.���           

 “Wow.”           

 “Yeah,” Eric replied. “Also, one more thing. I don’t wanna hear or see you and my sister doing anything. The image of you two doing anything makes me want to hurl.”          

  “Deal,” Hyde chucked. “So, are we good?”          

  Eric looked at him for a moment and grinned. “Yeah, man, we’re good.”            

Hyde nodded and the two boys lifted their hands, bringing each other in for bro-hug.           

 “Can I just ask you one question, though?” he asked.            

Hyde hummed.           

 “Why her? Why Y/n?”            

Hyde sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know, man. She’s different. She’s smart and actually funny, interesting, and genuine. Really sweet and cares about others beside herself. Besides, she’s smoking hot.”            

“Well, I’d never thought I’d hear my best friend put my sister and ‘smoking hot’ in the same sentence,” Eric retorted and pretended to gag. “Really, really unpleasant.”           

 “I know. I just said that because I think it’s funny,” Hyde laughed.          

  Eric slugged him in the shoulder. “And every time you say stuff like that, you’ll get hit.”            

They laughed lightly together before Eric slapped a hand on Hyde’s shoulder. “And, uh, don’t worry about my parents. Your secret is safe with me.”            

“Thanks, man,” Hyde replied. “Well, let’s go inside.”           

 “Why are we at this one?” Eric asked, joining Hyde outside the car. “You know there’s like three different stores in town. Why this one?”           

 “Because this is the biggest one in Point Place and they have everything I want.”           

 “Which is?”           

 “You’ll see.”            

As they entered the store, Hyde went for the first thing he saw: flowers. Specifically, half a dozen red roses. Then he went towards the freezer section, grabbing a pint of her favorite ice cream: mint chocolate chip.           

 “Ice cream?” Eric questioned.            

“I heard chicks really dig ice cream during their…problem time.”           

 “Yeah, Donna eats like four of those.”           

 “Damn,” Hyde sighed. “I’m, uh, I’m not very good at this. All I know is I want Y/n to feel better and I was kind of a jerk earlier.”           

 “Yeah, about that,” Eric piped up, browsing the ice cream flavors. “Why were reacting that way?” Eric’s eyes grew a fraction wider. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”           

 “What? No. I don’t get jealous.”            

“You so did!” Eric laughed. “You hated that Fez bought all that stuff for her because you felt like a bad boyfriend for not thinking about it earlier!”            

“You wanna get your ass kicked this early in the day?” Hyde threatened.             

Eric continued to laugh at him. “Just admit it. You totally did.”          

  Hyde rolled his eyes as he found his way to the soft drink section and grabbed a few bottles of ginger ale. “Okay, fine, maybe a little. But he shouldn’t have been hitting on her. She’s my chick. I should be the one getting all the stuff she needs.”           

 “And that’s what you’re doing now,” Eric stated, looking around. “Is that why you brought me here? To help you find stuff that she would like?”            

“No,” Hyde answered as they entered another aisle. He found a tin box of saltines and bent down to grab them. “I know what she likes; I don’t need you for that. I mainly brought you here so that we could sort crap out.” He picked up a box of assorted chocolates, something he knew she’d like.             

“You trying to tell me something?” Eric smirked, causing Hyde to chuckle. “Don’t you think you maybe going a little overboard?” He asked when he noticed Hyde putting everything in the basket.           

 “Maybe,” he answered honestly and led Eric away from the grocery section. “I just want her to know that I care.”            

“Well, she’ll definitely get that message,” the twin responded and noticed where Hyde was leading them. “Seriously? Condoms?”           

 “You don’t want me to knock her up, do you?”           

 “I’m still trying to accept you two and by you doing this in front of me is really bumming me out.”           

 Hyde laughed cruelly. “That’s kind of funny.” He quickly grabbed a pack and threw it in the cart. “Just don’t look at ‘em.”           

 Eric sighed and looked away. “What else are you giving her?”           

 “Besides a good time?”           

 Eric dramatically screeched and squirmed. “Please. Stop. Saying. That.”           

 Hyde burst into laughter, laughing at his friend’s discomfort. “That will never get old.”          

  “You’re a sadistic son of a bitch, you know that?”                                                        

                                                   —Time Skip—            

Y/n laid on the couch in the basement, wrapped up in a blanket, mindlessly watching tv. She was in and out of consciousness for the good part of the afternoon. Even though she was sick, she was still upset about her little dispute with Hyde.            

When did he become so jealous? Why would he think that of Fez? And worse of all, why didn’t he trust her enough? It hurt, but she was more curious as of why. She could feel her stomach beginning to churn again as it was ready to bring back up what she brought down earlier. 

Please, God, no. She quickly sat up, the room spinning for a minute, before she ran back to the bathroom and found herself with her head in the toilet. This had to be the forty-fifth time in the last couple of days of her spending time kneeling in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach into the light green basin.            

She held her hair back as tears pricked the corner of her eyes. It hurt so much and all she wanted in that moment was just to stop. What in the hell did she catch that made her feel this violently ill? After she was sure she was done, except from the dry heaving, she wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet. She sat against it for a little while longer, wishing her stomach would calm down enough for her to get a good sleep in. She couldn’t help but let a few tears escape. Her back was hurting, her body was aching, and her throat was burning. And on top of all that, she started cramping earlier in the day and the pain hadn’t subsided.             

“Y/n?” she heard from the basement living room.           

 She groaned in response and heard footsteps approach the door to the tiny bathroom. She twisted her face in pain as another surge of nausea reared its ugly head. Hyde appeared in the doorway just as he saw her turn her pale and tortured face into the basin once again. He could hear her whimpers through each retched gag.           

 “Awe, Doll,” he cooed and knelt down beside her, rubbing her back. He gathered her long hair in his hands and tried to look anywhere besides the toilet. He gently shushed her and reassured her that he was there now for her.          

Once she was finished, she fumbled for the handle, and pulled down. Hyde handed her some tissues to wipe her mouth. She gratefully accepted it and sat up fully, leaning against the wall.            

“What’re you doing here?” she croaked. “I thought you were pissed at me.”            

“Well, that’s why I’m here,” he responded and helped her off the floor. He wrapped a protective arm around her waist and guided her back to the couch where Eric also sat.            

“Are you here to fight? Because this isn’t how I envisioned our first fight.”             

He gently sat her on the couch, handing her the blanket and chuckled. “No, that’s not why I’m here.”            

“Then what?”           

 “Mainly to give you these,” he responded and handed her the roses.            

Y/n’s face softened as she weakly grasped the flowers in her fists. “What’s this for?”           

 “An apology,” Hyde responded and took a deep breath. “I know I was a jealous jerk earlier and…I’m sorry, okay?”            

She looked at him in the eye. “Why were you?”            

“I don’t know,” he responded and rubbed his neck. “I just…I just didn’t like seeing some other guy bring you things that I should be bringing.”            

She meekly set the flowers down on the coffee table in front of her. “Steven, do you not trust me?”            

“What? Of course I do.”            

“Then why did you act like Fez was going to hook up with me and I wouldn’t be able to say no?”            

“No, it’s not that. I…I—can you hang on a second?” he turned around to look at Eric. “Can we get a minute?” he asked impatiently.           

 Eric’s smug look never left his face. “Sure. Doll.”           

 Hyde stood abruptly, intimidatingly. Eric laughed and ran upstairs.            

Y/n knit her eyebrows together. “You guys are okay now or something?”            

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat and sat back down. “That’s another story.”            

Y/n nodded. “You were saying?”            

“Look, Y/n, when I saw Fez jumping in to immediately take care of you, I guess it felt like I…wasn’t doing my job as your boyfriend. And then when you said it did bother you, I knew I wasn’t. And…that maybe what everyone thinks is true.”            

“Which is what?” she pressed.           

 “C’mon, you’re really going to make me say it?”           

 “Yes,” she responded sternly.             

Hyde sighed and tore his eyes away from hers. “That…I’m not good enough…for you. There. Ya happy?”           

Y/n sighed, giving him a sad look. “No,” she responded gently and grabbed his hand. “No, I’m not happy. You can’t think that. You can’t let Fez get to you like that and it really didn’t bother me that you didn’t jump up to help me either. I’m a big girl. I can very well go get the stuff myself.”           

“So, you don’t mind?”           

 She smiled gently. “No. Yes, it’s nice if you did that stuff for me and trust me, I’d love it, but I’m not going to make you do it for me. I want you to want to do it for me.”            

He smiled at her and kissed the side of her head. “I did get you some things though.” He leaned down and grabbed the white bag, laying out the contents on the table. “I got you some ginger ale and saltines to help you with the nausea and then when it passes, I got you some chocolates and ice cream to satisfy your cravings.”           

 The look of sweets made her stomach churn, but she smiled through it and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, baby.”            

“You’re welcome,” he said quietly and kissed her head once more. He noticed that she was shivering and gently stood. “I’ll be right back.” He high tailed it to his room and brought back a sweater. “Here.”            

She grabbed it gratefully and threw it over her head, inhaling his scent: musk and woodsy. He settled on the couch next to her as she cuddled his side. He grabbed the blanket and threw it over both of them.           

“So, how was your day?” he asked her.            

“Fantastic,” she responded. “I spent the day throwing up my body weight and writhing in pain.”           

 “Sounds like a blast,” he chucked.           

“Oh, yeah, it was like a party in the toilet,” Y/n responded and chuckled when Hyde made a face. “How was yours?”           

 “Well, you know, it was fine,” he responded.             

“You and Eric work things out?”            

“Yeah. He’s still not happy about it, but he seems to—or trying to at least—accept it. I made him see the bigger picture here.”           

 “Which is?”            

“Us doing it.”           

 “Steven!”            

He threw his head back laughing. “I’m kidding.”           

 “You better be,” she said and reached over, grabbing the ginger ale. She laid back into his side and took a sip. She hummed and set it in her lap.            “Thank you, Steven. This is probably the best thing anyone has ever done for me.”            

He smiled at her gently. “Anything for you, doll.”           

 “Awe that’s so cute,” Eric called from the staircase. “It makes me want to vomit.”            

Y/n scowled at him. “What do you want?”            

“Well, I wanted to talk to you,” he said and sat down in the opposite chair.            

“You want to yell at me again?”           

 “No,” he responded and looked at the ground. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted. I know I was an ass and I should’ve handled it better, but c’mon, my best friend and my sister, hooking up. I never thought that this would happen and to say I was shocked is an understatement.”           

 “I know,” she responded. “But you still said some pretty hurtful things, Eric, and you can’t take that back.”            

“I know and I wish I could. You’re my sister, the best one at that, and Hyde, you’re like a brother to me and I just…it hurt, okay? I can understand not wanting to tell anyone else, but to hide it from me? I felt like you couldn’t trust me.”            

Y/n cast her eyes down, feeling guilt. “I’m so sorry, Eric. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. Lying to you wasn’t easy for me.”

“Then why did you do it?”

 “How would you take it if we just straight up told you?”            “

Yeah, Forman, what would you have said if I straight up said, ‘I’m nailing your sister.’ I bet you still wouldn’t have taken that lightly.”           

 Eric shuttered at the thought. “Yeah, definitely wouldn’t have. But it still wouldn’t have been as bad as me catching you.”            

Y/n looked at her twin for a moment before letting out a groan. “Dammit, I hate it when you’re right.”           

 “Yeah, and it’s not like I’m not going to kill you or anything.”           

 “Well, to be fair you did try to disown us,” Hyde defended.            

“Okay, yeah, but I just didn’t want to look at you guys at the moment,” Eric said.           

 “But kicking us out of the group and the house was the logical answer?” Y/n squinted at him.            

“Yeah, not my finest moment,” he agreed and sat down next to Y/n, causing her to shift over. “I’m really sorry, Y/n. I hope you can forgive me.”            

Y/n looked at her brother, eyes getting all misty. “Only if you can forgive me.”            

Eric smiled at her. “C’mere little sister.” He brought her in and hugged her tight. 

Y/n reciprocated by wrapping her arms tightly. “I’m only two minutes younger.” 

“Still,” he chuckled. “Besides, if I don’t forgive you, then I won’t have a sister anymore.”           

 “We have Laurie,” Y/n responded, pulling away.           

 “Do you really want her close?”            

Y/n paused, pretending to think it over. “No, I really don’t.”           

 Eric chuckled. “Look, Y/n. I know I was a jerk, but you’re not only my sister, you’re my best friend and I don’t want anything to come between us.”            

Y/n nodded, smiling and wiped at her eyes. “Me too.”           

 “I’m still not entirely happy about you two and to be honest, I’m not sure if I ever will be, but I want you two to be happy and if it’s you two that make each other happy, then so be it. I just don’t want to see any of it.”            

“You got it,” Y/n responded, feeling lighter about the situation.           

 “I’m going to give you the same speech I gave Hyde,” Eric continued as Y/n’s eyebrows knitted together. “I’d never thought I’d have to say this to my sister about my best friend, but don’t hurt him. I may not be able to kick his ass, but I can for sure…try to kick yours.” As he was saying it, he knew it wasn’t true. Even if it was, he wasn’t going to do it anyway.         

Y/n cracked a wide smile, a smile that she hadn’t been able to muster for the last couple of days, and nodded. “Okay, bro. That sounds fair.”            

He turned to Hyde. “Just so you know, if you get her pregnant, I will have to find a new and interesting way to kick your ass.”           

 “Trust me, man, that ain’t gonna happen,” Hyde responded.            

“Yeah, we’re careful,” Y/n responded, adjusting herself to be laying against Hyde. Her stomach and back were starting hurt again and she was desperate to find some relief. Hyde threw an arm over her shoulders, bringing her closer. “Besides, Dad would literally stick his foot in both of our asses.”            

“And somehow, he’d still find a way to blame me,” Eric said.           

 “Hey, Y/n baby,” Fez called out, entering the basement. “How’re you feeling? You get my gifts?”           

 “Hi Fez,” Y/n greeted with a tiny smile. “I did, thank you. It was very nice of you, but I’m not feeling too much better.”            

“Sorry to hear that,” he responded.             

Y/n shrugged and snuggled deeper into Hyde’s side. “What’re you doing here anyway?”            

“Just wanted to come by and see how you were feeling,” he responded.            

 “No, you didn’t,” Hyde spit. “You came here to see if she was alone, didn’t you?”           

 Fez made a face at him. “What’re you talking about? No, I’m not!”            

“Yes you are!” he said and stood up. “Now, knock it off before I make you the first person to touch his chin to ass!”           

 Fez looked offended, placing his hand on his chest. “Have you been spying on me?!”           

 “Steven, honey, it’s not that big of deal,” Y/n said, trying to calm down the situation.           

 “Yeah, honey, listen to your lady,” Fez said, starting to get nervous.            

 “No, Y/n, he needs to understand respect,” he replied.           

 “I’m sure he gets it now,” Y/n said, signaling Fez to run now.            

“No, he doesn’t,” he responded. “If he—”            

He was cut off by the slamming of the door as Fez ran outside, away from him.           

 “He’s not getting away that easily,” Hyde commented before darting to the door.           

 “Hyde, no!” Y/n called after him. She jumped up from her seat, despite her stomach and head screaming at her.            

 Hyde ran out the door, causing it to slam against the wall. Y/n followed him out the door, ignoring the sudden faint feeling she had.            

“Steven, stop!” she called again, her voice weakened and wavering. She could see Hyde quickly gaining speed on Fez.            

 Fez screamed as Hyde tackled him to the ground on the Forman’s front lawn. Eric was behind Y/n in a flash, watching the scene in front of him unfold. Hyde struggling to get Fez in a choke hold, Fez fighting to get out of his grip, and Y/n yelling at him to stop.            

 “Steven, enough!” Y/n shrieked weakly, her voice quieting as the world started to spin, the edges of her vision darkening. “Steven, please…” 

Her vision darkened as she hit the ground, making the two boys suddenly stop to jerk their attention towards her. Eric dropped to the ground next to her.

“Y/n!” Steven shouted, letting Fez go and running over to her. “Y/n!”

 And that was the last thing she heard before she was swallowed by darkness.

Tags: @lieswithoutfairytales​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @taysirene​

[buttonso]

Teamwork: An Aura/Harvey short

AKA: Buttonso Very Unsubtly Projects FEELINGS Onto Poor Aura.

I am going to put this below a cut both for length and because the whole thing concerns fears/anxieties around pregnancy. If you like it and want to reblog it, you may, but I will not tolerate any form of judgmental commentary. I'm prepared to block people if needs be.

2,685 words. Contains a few swears. Forgive any typos ^^*

So. Ok. Well. A few weeks ago, I learned that I was pregnant. I did not think it was in the cards for me, for various reasons, so it's been a surprise, and while it's a good surprise, I have found it to be more than a little overwhelming. My husband has been amazing and has been doing a good job of keeping me off the ledge, and this whole thing is based on one of the many pep talks he's given me in the last few weeks.

This clearly would take place after Breathe With Me is over. It may or may not be considered canon, as I could end up contradicting it in the future sequel of Breathe With Me...... which may be a long time coming now that my life is changing.

Maybe this is TMI, and if I've made anyone uncomfortable, I do apologize.

*

Teamwork

Harvey whistled under his breath, a cheery tune befitting the sunny day and his sunnier disposition. No matter how busy he got at the clinic, nothing had been able to dampen his spirits for long over the past several weeks. It was a lovely spring and promised to be an even lovelier summer. His home and his wife were lovelier still… and he was going to be a father. Oh, not for a awhile- Aura was nearing the end of her first trimester, but everything seemed to be going well so far.

It seemed that having everything he wanted in life agreed with Harvey.

His last appointment of the day had cancelled on him, and he’d decided to close the clinic early and head home to surprise Aura. He’d stopped by the General Store for a few things, the plan spinning out naturally as he shopped. He would draw a bath for her so she could relax after she came in from the fields while he cooked a nice dinner. He harbored vague, hopeful notions of offering her a massage after dinner, but that would be dependent on her energy levels after- it was entirely possible she would want to go straight to sleep.

Aura, of course, stubbornly insisted on continuing to do all the work she was accustomed to doing, and despite Harvey’s misgivings, he’d yielded to the judgement of her OB, who had said she could continue to work as long as she felt up to it. Well, the doctor was right, and he himself would have said the same thing to a patient, but that didn’t stop Harvey from worrying.

He did not see Aura anywhere near the farmhouse as he stepped up onto the porch, but that was not unusual. She might be in the far fields, or the barn, or the woods… she might well even be inside, working on something in the kitchen. But she always came home at 6:30 for supper, so he would be ready when she arrived. Harvey’s cheery little whistle became a contented hum as he set the groceries down on the kitchen table, then headed towards the bedroom to change clothes, loosening his tie as he walked. The living room and kitchen was empty- even the cat was nowhere in evidence.

The hum died in his throat as he pushed open the bedroom door and he saw her. Aura was lying on the bed, fully dressed on top of the covers, curled on her side. Her back was to him, and her body was shaking with soft, hopeless little sobs. Alarm shot through him- he couldn’t help the automatic, instinctive lunge towards the bed.

“What’s wrong, darling?” He asked, as she jumped, clearly startled, nearly lurching off the bed as she turned to face him, eyes wide as she hastily wiped at her tear-streaked face. Murphy, who’d been hidden from Harvey’s view by Aura’s body, scampered off the bed in alarm, his tubby body hitting the floor with a thud on the opposite side of the bed, claws scrabbling on the floor as he scampered off.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!!” She exclaimed, one hand pressed to her chest and the other held out towards him, her finger pointing at him in accusation. “What are you doing home so early?!”

“My last appointment was canceled, and I thought I’d surprise you. Please… tell me, what’s going on…” He fought down the panicked, instant assumption of utter disaster, but he’d never seen her like this before. “…Did… did something happen? Are you well?”

“I-I’m fine…physically, anyway.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before rubbing at her eyes and cheeks again with both hands. “I’m just… having some feelings. Dealing with feelings was never my strong suit and it’s harder than ever these days.”

“What sort of feelings?” Harvey moved cautiously towards the bed, sinking onto it beside her.

“It’s… it’s nothing,” Aura sighed, but she leaned into his touch when he reached out and put a hand on her cheek.

“It’s not nothing, you were in tears.” Anxiety made his voice tight and his tone a bit sharp. She flinched, biting her lip as she avoided his gaze. His hand slid from her cheek to her shoulder. “Sweetheart… please… tell me.” His heart raced and he felt himself trembling a little, despite his need to be brave. “Please,” He repeated, when the silence stretched between them, and he felt her shoulder beginning to tremble again.

“I-I…” she took a deep breath. “I’m… I’m scared, okay?” She blew out a frustrated breath and covered her face with her hands. “I’m… scared and I feel stupid, immature, selfish… I…I hate myself for feeling this way…”

“Why? What are you afraid of?” He slid his arm around her carefully, but she stiffened, rather than relaxing into his embrace as she always did. Dread crept up his spine, and panic made another attempt at clawing its way out.

“…I…I should be happier than I am. About the baby.” Her tone was extremely reluctant, her silver eyes downcast as she continued to avoid his gaze. She put a trembling hand on her stomach as the other hand came to rest on Harvey’s thigh. “But once the excitement of telling you wore off… every day, every week since… I’ve only gotten more and more worried.”

“Oh.” Harvey released the breath he’d been holding in a trembling sigh. “…Is… that all.” She still had a long way to go in her pregnancy… but still, that meant she’d been agonizing for several weeks in silence. It didn’t speak well for his attentiveness as a husband. “I’ve been floating around here like a happy fool, and I never noticed you were in distress…”

“You didn’t notice because I hid it from you,” She sighed. “I…I didn’t want to rain on your parade. And your excitement was definitely contagious at first, but now…”

“…Now?” He made another attempt at sliding his arm around her, and this time she did lean into him, to his relief.

“Everything… is gonna change, Harvey,” she said softly. “Everything. And I… I’m not sure I’m up to the challenge.”

Harvey ran his hand up and down her arm slowly in an attempt to soothe her. “I’m of the firm belief that there’s nothing you can’t handle, my dear.”

“But… don’t you see…” Aura paused as she seemed to try to compose herself, only to have her voice break. “I’m… I’m not good enough, Harvey.”

“Not good enough?” He echoed, biting back the automatic impulse to deny it. “Why do you think that?”

“There’s… there’s no doubt in my mind you’re going to be the best Dad ever. I mean… baby, you practically have nurturer tattooed on your forehead. But me? I’ve spent my entire adult life just doing whatever I wanted to do. I’ve learned how to be considerate of you, and to accommodate you in my life, but… a baby… I don’t… I don’t know how to be in a normal family. I just can’t see any way I’m not going to totally fuck this all up.”

“Sweetheart…” He tightened his embrace and pressed a kiss to her temple. “It’s perfectly natural to have concerns about impending parenthood… I know I’ve been all smiles since you told me you were pregnant, but I’ve been worried too… I grew up without a father, so I have no example to look back on. But we’ll learn together. We have friends with experience to draw upon, and we’ll be just fine. All three of us.”

“No, no it’s not… not just that…” Aura shook her head and gestured with one hand, as if she were shaping a lump of dough while she worked through her thoughts. “It’s not just worrying about doing a good job… even though I am… but I…” Her hand tightened into a fist, and she squeezed her eyes shut. “All this worrying I’ve been doing… I’m thinking about myself. How my freedom is going to be curtailed. How my relationship with you may be affected, may even suffer. How… how much I am not enjoying feeling the changes in my body.” Her cheeks reddened as her voice wobbled. “I hate feeling low-key sick all the time… my clothes are getting uncomfortably tight… my breasts feel too big, I’m not sleeping well... I mean, do you hear this? It’s all me, me, me, I, I, I… what kind of fucking self-centered monster am I? Instead of worrying about whether or not my baby is healthy I’m only thinking about how uncomfortable I am and how scared I am of all this change.” Her voice broke at last, and she began to sob again.

“Oh… my darling…” Harvey had never seen her in such a state, and he wasn’t quite sure how to react for a moment, but hugging her seemed like a safe bet, and he used both arms to do so, pulling her against his chest. “I wish you’d told me sooner…” He was no obstetrician, but Aura’s doctor was a friend of his, and he’d read quite a lot on the subject of pregnancy ever since they agreed to try for a baby. This felt like mere reassurance wouldn’t be enough. “You know… I meant it, earlier, when I said there’s nothing you can’t handle,” He said after a few moments of simply holding her.

“I know you think so, but…” She sniffed and he shook his head.

“No but.” He put just enough sternness into his voice that she blinked at looked questioningly at him.

“When you first came here… I was so in awe of how confident you were. You came here all by yourself and resurrected your grandfather’s dying farm. You ventured into those dreadful mines and fought monsters… and you told me once that you were not going to stop taking risks if you had a shot at something better. I remind you of all this not to dismiss your concerns… but to tell you that I have every confidence in you,” Harvey told her, doing his best to be calm. He hated seeing her this way, but he knew he needed to be the strong one now, even if that was normally her role.

“How can you not be… disgusted by what I just told you?” She asked damply, sniffing again, and wiping her face inelegantly with the back of her hand, blinking several times to clear the tears from her eyes.

Harvey fished a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her. “Because you’re my favorite person in the world, and I love you so very much.” He smiled, feeling a bit shy and awkward. “I think you should talk to some of the other mothers in town… or if you aren’t comfortable with that, find a support group online. You cannot possibly be the only woman to feel this way. I of course cannot know what it feels like to be pregnant, but… it is not surprising at all that the physical changes may be disturbing. I’m no obstetrician but I have treated pregnant women before.”

“…I… thought about reaching out to Doctor Delecroix… I hadn’t talked to her in a while, but she always makes time for me if I need it…” Aura admitted, hesitantly. Aura’s therapist was a big believer in the power of the internet and was more than willing to have video chats with patients if they couldn’t make it to her office in Zuzu City, even a patient she was no longer seeing regularly, such as Aura.

“If you think it will help, then you should.” She’d stopped trembling, at least. “You’re not doing this alone,” Harvey added. “It will be a big change, it’s true… but it’s a change we’ll navigate together.”

“Just… just admitting how I’ve been feeling… It does help, a little…” Aura said slowly. “I’m still scared, but…right now, at least… I feel… I feel a little better… I…” She hesitated a moment. “I do want this baby, you know… I just… I didn’t expect to have all these mixed feelings.”

Harvey pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We’re doing this together,” He repeated. He’d say it as often as he had to. “We’re not just a team, we’re a family. No matter what happens. You, me, the little one…” There was a soft thud and a little “mrrrp” as Murphy returned to the bed, making his way to Aura’s lap and purring as Harvey stroked his head. “And him,” Harvey added. “We’d never forget you,” he said with a chuckle as the cat shoved his blocky head up into Harvey’s hand.

“I was so afraid that you’d be hurt if I admitted how I’ve been feeling…that… that was the worst part…” Aura said quietly, rubbing at her cheeks again. “I’m sorry if you were…”

“I was only worried about you,” Harvey said as they took turns petting the cat, who settled into a happy loaf on Aura’s lap, reveling in the attention. “Please don’t ever suffer in silence… our little one has a lot of growing to do yet, and I’ll do whatever I can to keep her mother happy.”

“Her?” Aura chuckled. “We can’t possibly know the sex yet. Besides, I thought all men wanted sons.”

Harvey shrugged. “Whenever I imagine it… I see a girl. Someone who will grow up as strong and beautiful and brave as her mother.” He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. “Though I wouldn’t say no to eventually having an assortment.”

She snorted and tilted her head a bit so she could kiss him lightly. “How about we make sure everyone survives this one before we talk about assortments… I’m still not loving the physical side of all this. I’m afraid I may be difficult to live with the next several months…I’ll… I’ll try my best to not be a complete monster.”

“Just be honest with me about your feelings, and I’ll extend you the same courtesy.” It was Harvey’s turn to initiate a kiss, brief and tender though it was.

“I…I should get back out there…” Aura said reluctantly, swinging her legs off the bed. “Got a few things that need doing before the day’s over.”

Harvey wanted to argue, to insist that she stay in and rest, but he didn’t have the heart to try to cage her now. “Go and do whatever you need to do… just be careful, please… and I’ll have a bath and dinner waiting for you when you get back.” He caught her hand as she nudged the cat off her lap and stood up. “And as for whether or not the baby will hurt our relationship… of course I can’t see the future, but… I can’t imagine any outcome apart from loving you more.” Harvey felt his cheeks heating in the familiar old blush that she could manifest in him with little more than a smile.

“I…” Aura gave a brittle little laugh and pulled his knuckles to her lips, giving them a brief kiss. “I don’t deserve you, you know.”

“I’ve told you before that you should let me be the judge of that.” Harvey answered as she quickly wound her hair into a loose braid.

“And you’ll… you’ll tell me if you have things you’re worried about, right? Or if I do or say something to hurt you? You won’t suffer in silence either?” She asked pointedly.

“I promise,” Harvey answered as she headed towards the door. “I love you, Aura.”

She paused at the doorway and blew him a kiss with a weary chuckle. “I love you, too, Harvey. Thank you… for being you. I couldn’t ask for a better partner.”

Harvey smiled as she left the room, listening to her footsteps fade. Murphy shoved his head against Harvey’s arm, and he gave the cat a stroke. “Well, boy… life isn’t simple even when you do have everything you want,” he said to the cat. “But we’ll just have to do our best and look after each other… it’s all anyone can do, I suppose.”

[sincerelyella]

It’s Your Love - happy birthday Burnsy!

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Drake x OC (Alyssa); Liam x MC (Ella)

Song Inspiration: It’s Your Love by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill

Characters belong to Pixelberry; OC Alyssa Devereaux belongs to my sister @burnsoslow​; Ella Brooks belongs to me.

Summary: The gang coordinates a surprise for Alyssa’s birthday.

A/N: It’s my Burnsy’s birthday and I’m sure everything I’m going to say she already knows! Firstly, I’m so sorry I changed my mind about which AU and which song for this fic like 47545024 million trillion times. Burns just freaking gets me mmkay? She’s my nakie twin, my soul sister, my football bestie and my biggest cheerleader. GUYS! Idk how I could have gotten through this year without her checking in on me, our football conversations or her amazing (and haaawwwwt) fics. Some dialogue in this fic, btw, was taken from a conversation we really had (and as usual, she is hilarious).

Burns, you know that I love you a BUTT TON and I will fight ANYBODY for you (where’s my vaseline?!) Thank you for always being in my corner, for giving me SEVERAL pep talks this year (because I’m dramatic), for believing in me when I sometimes didn’t believe in myself, and for loving me SO HARD. I really hope you have an amazing day and you enjoy your bday dessert and that you like this little fic.

-> please note, this is a rereblog and I am adding this fic to my ML. Today is not actually our sweet Burnsy’s birthday even though we would all like it to be lol

A/N2: This is set in The Loft AU by the way! Check it out here if you haven’t seen these guys’ shenanigans.

Warnings: Adult language, sexual innuendos, and major fluff guys!! The birthday girl wanted to be swooned and I will do my damndest to give her whatever she wants today.

Thank you so much @alyssalauren​ for letting me vent and letting me harass you with my whining … and listening to me change my mind about this for WEEKS - and also prereading for me along with @ofpixelsandscribbles​. I love you guys so much!

Words: 3149 (oops)

Alyssa was not feeling well. The more she coughed, the more she felt like death. “Oh, God, I feel like my brain is going to explode into itty bitty pieces,” she moaned with her arm draped over her face.

Drake bit his lip in an effort to stop a chuckle. She’s so fucking cute, and whiny. But cute. “Baby, it’s just a cold, you’ll be fine.” He slid onto their large king-sized bed and began to rub her lower back.

“It’s not! It’s the plague! Those kids at school don’t cover their mouths and sneeze up into the air! Like, I can see particles of their spit, just wafting,” she complained as she waved her hand in the air, mimicking the particles. “I bet you it landed on me or I inhaled that shit and now, look at me!” Her cute nose was reddened slightly from blowing out copious amounts of snot. She was seriously thinking about shoving some tissue in each nostril just to make sure nothing dripped.

Drake moved his hands upward and massaged her shoulders gently. “I can make you some soup,” he nibbled on her earlobe. “And make you feel … relaxed.”

“Mmmm,” she shivered at his words and sniffled. “Yes, baby, make me feel relaxed!”

A little while later

After Drake’s impressive two hour session of making Alyssa feel better, loud knocks sounded at their bedroom door.

“Lyssa!” Ella bellowed. “Lyss, you’re not answering my phone calls! Are you dead?!”

“No,” she croaked from the bed and stifled a laugh when Drake tripped trying to put on his boxers. “I was just getting my back blown out by my hot boyfriend.”

“Ew, TMI! Okay, are you covered up? I’m coming in!”

“No!” Drake yelled as he hurriedly threw on his pants. “Do not come in here, Brooks! I’m fucking naked!”

“Like I haven’t seen a naked man before,” Ella pushed open the door and rolled her eyes at Drake. “You aren’t even naked, Walker, get a grip.”

“No damn privacy around here,” he grumbled as he looked for a shirt in the closet.

“Hi!” Alyssa called out hoarsely from the bed as she tucked her comforter around her naked body. “I didn’t go to work today, I felt like death was coming for me.”

“I could hear you coughing from the kitchen. So, your blood pressure and that gnarly cough you have are what’s concerning me.”

“Yeah,” Lyss frowned and sniffed. “The cough is rough.”

“And gunky huh? Are you spitting up weird colored stuff?”

“No, it's clear and phlegmy!”

Ella narrowed her eyes on her best friend. “Lyss, did you take your blood pressure today?”

“I … umm no, I don’t like the machine.”

Ella let out a sigh. “You have to babe!”

Lyss’s bottom lip quivered. “I get scared my arm will explode.”

“Lyssa.”

The lip quiver always works with Drake. “… yes?”

“Your arm won’t explode.”

“If it malfunctions it could!”

Ella rubbed her hands over her face. “Alyssa!”

“In one of the Halloween movies, Michael Myers killed someone in the hospital by putting a BP cuff around their neck and pumping it until their head exploded!”

“What the fuck? Okay, no more Halloween movies for you!”

“But-”

“It’s not going to explode, Alyssa. You need to take your blood pressure. Do I have to hogtie you?”

“No ma’am, I’m taller than you!”

“By ½ an inch!”

Ella switched tactics. “If you don’t do this, I’m going to get Drake on you.”

Lyss giggled. “That’s hardly a punishment.”

Ella’s eye twitched and Alyssa held back a laugh.

After another 10 minutes, Alyssa finally agreed to only check her blood pressure if Ella did it for her and Drake had to hold her hand. Once the numbers were acceptable to Ella, Alyssa added to her terms. “Also, I want chicken noodle soup and those little soup crackers” - she sniffled - “and coffee.”

“Why not tea? That’s better I think,” Ella brushed some hair off of her best friend’s forehead.

“Coffee.”

“Cream isn’t a good idea for-”

Drake gave Ella a look.

“I mean … sure!”

“I’ll get started on that, baby,” Drake leaned over to kiss his girlfriend on top of her head. “Be right back.”

Ella waited until he closed the bedroom door behind him. “Lyssa.”

“Hmm?” She was already settled into the fluffy pillow and her eyes fluttered shut.

“Do you have a fever?” Not waiting for an answer, Ella leaned forward and felt Alyssa’s forehead with the back of her hand.

“Nu-uh,” Lyss mumbled and coughed.

“Lyss?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you want to put on some clothes?”

“Mmm, nope, I’m good naked.”

Ella chuckled. “Okay.”

She stood and left Lyss alone to rest. Ella wandered into the kitchen to find Liam and Drake as they stared into a large pot of broth.

“Is she asleep?” Drake asked while he stirred.

“Yep, she’s passed out,” Ella peered into the pot. “You need to add more onions.”

Drake tasted the broth again and shrugged. “Okay, more onions it is.”

Liam handed Drake the bowl of green onions. “So, what do you have planned for her birthday? Are you proposing yet?”

“I had planned to take her to the park and have a picnic,” Drake paused as he tasted the broth again from the ladle. “But seeing as how she’s not wanting to leave the bedroom, I might have to rethink my plan.”

“Hmmm,” Liam tapped his fingers over his mouth. “Why don’t you just have a picnic in the bedroom with her?”

“I guess,” Drake frowned. “That’s not very romantic.”

“You’re trying to be romantic, Walker?” Leo said as he walked into the kitchen with Maxwell with several bags from Nordstrom.

“Yeah, I am, if you must know.”

“I can help you out!” Leo’s wide grin made Drake narrow his eyes.

“What’s in it for you, Rys?”

“Oh, I just love helping my friends! Let me put all my stuff down in the bedroom, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as Leo was out of earshot, Drake hissed. “I don’t trust him!”

“I know,” Max replied. “It’s Leo we’re talking about. After he saw the movie Titanic he started the Billy Zane fan club.”

Ella stopped washing the dishes in the sink and turned. “Wait, what?!”

“Yeah,” Liam added. “Look it up, they’re called the Zaniacs.”

“Why does that make me angrier than anything he’s ever done?!”

Liam shrugged. “He also roots for Billy Zabka’s character in The Karate Kid.”

“Alright, guys! It’s romance time!” Leo announced as he came back to the kitchen.

Three days later

Leo, Maxwell, and Liam were busy setting up things for Drake and Alyssa’s outing at the beach.

“Why is Ella not helping us?” Maxwell huffed as he and Leo carried large boxes of twinkling lights.

“She’s here for Lyss, and to make sure Walker doesn’t sweat too much and get dehydrated,” Leo laughed as all three looked at Drake in the kitchen pacing back and forth.

“Fuck you guys,” his chocolate brown hair a mess after running his fingers through them more times than he can count. “I’m just … nervous.”

“Yeah, we can see that,“ Leo cackled as they walked out into the hallway and waited for the elevator.

“It’s going to work,” Liam reassured his best friend as he grabbed the guitar by the door and followed Max and Leo out.

“Drake, it’s going to be fine,” Ella put her hands on his shoulders to stop him from wandering around the kitchen; it was making her dizzy. “Liam is the King of Romance. Don’t listen to Leo, Alyssa is going to say yes.”

“How do you know that?” He began to babble and couldn’t stop himself. “What if this is too soon? What if she hates my singing? What if she says no?”

“You should be worried about whether she’ll get out of bed,” Ella looked towards the bedroom door.

“Oh my God, is she still in bed?!” He inhaled too quickly and began to cough.

“Okay, Walker, I was kidding. You know she adores you. She said ‘I love you’ first for crying out loud,” she gave him a concerned look. “Are you getting sick?”

“No, I don’t … get sick,” he sputtered as he continued to cough.

“Well you are pretty delicate, maybe you should slow down.”

He waved off her comment as his coughs began to dissipate. “I’m not delicate, I’m just” - he lowered his voice to a whisper yell - “proposing to my girlfriend and I don’t even know if she’s going to like this damn plan!”

Ella rolled her eyes. “Okay, so let’s just forget that you got sick watching Frozen.”

Drake glared. “No. I did not.”

“You also got a nosebleed watching Up,” she smirked.

“Oh my God, will you ever let that go?!”

Ella let out a chuckle. “Okay, fine then, why don’t you go and take a shower?”

“I already did,” Drake looked down at his sweat-stained shirt.

“Yeah, why don’t you go and take another one.”

He nodded. “Be right back.”

30 minutes later

“El! I need help!”

“Lyssa? What’s wrong?” Ella let herself into the bedroom Alyssa and Drake shared.

“My sinuses hurt and I dropped my dress and my book on the floor.”

“Okay?”

“Can you pick it up for me? It hurts to bend over.”

Ella hid a smile and bent to pick up Alyssa’s black dress and her book titled Remember Two Things. “I’ve been meaning to read this, how is it so far?”

“Oh it is so good,” Lyss put the book on her nightstand and pulled the dress over her head. “I’m at chapter 18 and these two have been in love since college-”

“No spoilers! I’m going to read it after you,” Ella found Lyss’ shoes under the bed and helped her put them on. “You take that medication I gave you?”

“The pill was too big.”

“Alyssa!”

“I’m kidding, yes, I took it,” she dimpled. “It was a gel capsule.”

Ella let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. You don’t need your sinuses to act up while you’re out.”

“Where is he taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Alyssa pouted. “No, I don’t.”

Drake appeared in the doorway with a brand new shirt that was miraculously dry. “Ready baby?”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” she stood and wrapped her arms around her best friend. “Thank you for helping me!”

Ella shooed the couple out the door and quickly called Liam to let them know they were on their way.

***

“Baby, why did you take another shower?” Alyssa eyed Drake’s damp hair.

“I … slipped in something Max spilled on the floor in the kitchen.” Fuck, I suck at lying.

“Oh,” Lyss chewed on her bottom lip and studied Drake’s side profile as he drove his truck through the streets of Los Angeles. “I was thinking … you’ve taken such good care of me while I’ve been whiny and sick and I wanted to thank you.”

“Of course, I care about you.”

“I love you, baby, I feel like we’re so good together.”

“We are, Lyss, I love you too,” he reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers.

Drake slowly pulled the truck into a parking spot and turned off the engine. “Come on, I have something I want to show you.”

Alyssa nodded. She hopped out of the car and took Drake’s outstretched hand as he led her into a walkway with arching shrubs above them. “What is this place?”

“It used to be a secret spot I went to when I was single,” he glanced down at her while she stared up at the greenery in awe. “I would just come down here to be alone.”

Suddenly, the archway lit up in thousands of little twinkling lights that illuminated their way down to the end of the walkway. “Oh my God,” Alyssa squealed. “I love this so much, it’s beautiful!” They came to the end of the lights and began to walk onto sand.

“Only a little bit further,” Drake mumbled as he took in the ocean, then focused his gaze on the large purple blanket that was sprawled out on the sand a few yards in front of them.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a little picnic the guys set up for us,” he gave Alyssa a nervous smile. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes! What’s for dinner?”

“Taco pizza and for dessert,” Drake excitedly climbed onto the blanket after removing his shoes. “S’mores brownie pie.”

“S’mores?!” Alyssa peeked into the large basket that held the pie. “Can we eat dessert first?”

Drake let out a loud laugh. “Whatever you want, baby it’s your birthday.”

Lyss opened the box where the taco pizza sat and she inhaled deeply. “Oh, no, we’re eating this first.” She grabbed a plate and separated two pieces, one for her, one for Drake.

“Thank you.”

They settled into a comfortable silence as they watched the waves cascade over the sand; the sun was slowly fading, disappearing behind the ocean, leaving its yellow-orange coloring over the blue hue of the water. Alyssa was sitting in between Drake’s legs, her back against his chest.

“This hit the spot,” she patted her stomach. “Taco pizza just like in Remember Two Things.”

“That’s where I got the idea from,” he kissed her on top of her head. “You told me how taco pizza sounded amazing and I had to get that for you.”

“You are amazing,” she leaned her head back and touched her lips to his. “Is that a guitar? Why didn’t I notice that before?”

Drake’s face turned a bright shade of red. “Uh, yeah, I had Liam bring his guitar out here.”

“Do you” - she pulled away from him and turned all the way around with widened eyes - “do you play guitar, baby?”

He nervously scratched the back of his neck. “I … Well, sort of. Liam taught me when we were teenagers.”

“That is so hot,” Lyss mumbled and she bit her bottom lip. “Will you play for me?”

Drake nodded. “Hopefully I’m not too rusty, it’s been years.”

“I know I will love it.”

Drake picked up the acoustic guitar behind him and began to tune it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he went through each string and turned the knobs in turn. Alyssa watched as he dug into his jean pocket and pulled out a guitar pick. How is a man with a guitar so sexy?

“Here goes nothing.”

He strummed the guitar and smiled when it didn’t sound off-key. He took in a deep breath and began to sing.

Dancing in the dark, Middle of the night

Taking your heart, And holding it tight

Emotional touch, Touching my skin

And askin' you to do, What you've been doing

All over again

Alyssa was taken aback. She had no idea he played guitar or sang a note until today. Drake Walker singing country music just did something to her; not to mention the fact that she loved this song.

Oh, it's a beautiful thing, Don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know, What it is that won't let me go

She couldn’t stop herself, she started to sing along with him. It was a duet anyway.

It's your love, It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me, I can't get enough

And if you wonder, About the spell I'm under

Oh it's your love

Their eyes were locked as they sang together. Alyssa harmonizing with him made his stomach do flip flops. He was a nervous wreck just thinking about singing and playing this damn guitar in front of her. But once she started to sing, he wanted to stop so he could hear her angelic voice instead of his rough one.

“Drake?”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize I stopped.”

“That was so beautiful,” Lyss’ eyes were full of unshed tears. “I had no idea you could sing, baby.”

“I’m sorry I stopped, I wanted to hear your voice instead of mine.”

“Come on, let’s keep going!”

“I … I wanted to ask you something first.”

“Okay, what’s up?”

He set the guitar down on the blanket next to him and reached into his other pocket. “Lyssa,” he pulled out a black velvet box but didn’t open his hand just yet. “I wanted to make your birthday special, and I was so fucking nervous because I didn’t know if you’d like all this.”

“Anything we do together I love, baby,” she grasped his free hand with both of hers. “Don’t ever think I won’t like something you plan for us.”

Drake nodded. “I love you and I chose that song because it’s your love that keeps me wanting to wake up every morning,” he opened his left hand and she saw the box in his hand.

“Is that …”

“Alyssa Devereaux,” Drake opened the ring box and there sat three round diamonds on a gold setting. “Will you marry me?”

The tears were falling and one hand was clamped over her mouth in shock. She was crying so hard and overwhelmed with so much emotion that she struggled to speak. “Y-yes, Drake, yes!”

Drake’s entire face lit up at her words; he slid the ring on her finger and leaned over to kiss her. “Do you have any idea how happy you’ve made me?”

Cheers erupted from behind some bushes behind them, and the couple turned in surprise. Leo, Maxwell, Liam, and Ella jumped out, all with their phone cameras pointed in Drake and Lyss’s direction.

Drake scowled. “What the fuck?”

“Guys!” Alyssa jumped up and waved her left hand in the air. “We’re engaged!” Ella pulled her in for a big hug and the two of them began jumping up and down.

“Nice going, Walker,” Leo smirked as he shoved the last piece of taco pizza in his mouth. “You still sing real pretty too, just like in middle school.”

“Fuck off, Rys,” Drake snarled.

“You did good, brother,” Liam stepped forward and pulled his best friend in for a manly hug.

Drake gave him a half-smile. “Thanks for setting this up, and for all your help, Li. I know Twiddle-Dumb and Twiddle-Dee didn’t help much.”

Liam shrugged. “They picked up your pizza and pie. Got one for themselves while we were waiting for you to pop the question.”

“Taco pizza is the bomb,” Maxwell announced with a mouth full of food. “You guys are engaged! When’s the wedding?!”

“We’re still on cloud nine from being engaged, Max,” Alyssa chuckled. “We’ll all plan it out when we’re ready.”

“All of them?” Drake asked incredulously as the gang began to clean up the picnic area. “All of them are helping us plan?”

“You’re stuck with us forever, gorgeous,” Leo called out to Lyss. “You sure that’s what you want?”

Alyssa looked over at her fiancé, who just so happened to look at her. “I am so sure.”

[jojo-reader-hell]

hneheheheheh,,, this might be a tough request, but how abt Melone w an asexual s/o? (my asexuality is that I have extremely low libido and hardly feel any pleasure from "sexual" things. I don't require sex and can go without it forever if needed. sorry if that's tmi)

OH BOY WILL I DO THIS YES I WILL HOLY FUCK I LOVE MELONE. Also, I love the idea of someone completely loving who their partner is without question, so this one really made me dig into my “YEAH! LET’S GET EMPOWERED!” love of relationships!

“Hello amo, have you had your water today?”

You can’t face your boyfriend and opt guiltily to look at the full water bottle that’s been sitting on your nightstand for the better part of the day. Lately Melone has been on this kick of trying to get you to drink more water, to take care of yourself, hovering over you when you plop into bed too exhausted to move because he wants you to brush your teeth. As much as you try to please him, you just have a lot of other things on your mind...

It’s like, why take care of yourself if he only thinks it’s going to fix you?

“Wah... you haven’t even touched it!” He sulks, picking it up in all its pink glory as he looks at the lukewarm liquid.

“What have you been drinking today?” He asks softly.

“... espresso.”

“Yeah? Or did you have a latte, did you baby? With blonde ristretto shots? Breve? And...”

He sniffs you, making you grimace and back away from him.

“... SIXTEEN pumps of vanilla?!” He whines.

“N-no I didn’t!” You lie, “I only got five pumps, I swear!”

Melone sounds and looks like a kicked puppy, even dropping to the ground and crawling on his hands and knees toward you like an animal where he proceeds to lay his head in the lap of your oversized pastel purple overalls. He begins to toy with the white buttons, whimpers continuing as his hands ghost over your leg.

“Why do you like to poison yourself with sugar like that baby?” He groans, like he’s in agony. “You’re dehydrated, you don’t sleep, you don’t take care of yourself... not even when I buy you such pretty water bottles with your bunny stickers, or even when I promise you new clothes... I need to know why, why do you enjoy torturing your lover like this?”

The way he looks at you makes your stomach turn, and you wonder if you should say it out loud. You know he won’t stop pestering unless you say it, but the entire future of your relationship depends on this... you already decided: if he can’t accept who you are without trying to change you and disrespecting how you feel, you’re going to leave him. That’s why you had the breve today. You needed some sweet to counteract the potential sour. You’ve been coloring at your desk trying to relieve your tension, but the markers and the colored pencils he bought you kept bleeding into the ink of your pen and nothing helped at all. So you sat there miserable, wondering all these different scenarios and feeling sick to your stomach.

“Melone...”

“Please tell me baby? How can I make it better?”

“Melone... are you trying to change my lifestyle because I won’t have sex with you?”

You’re not sure what to do about the visceral shock that hits him when you ask him point blank about his intentions. He short circuits for a minute, something only you have the ability to accomplish. But then you notice his face contort into sadness. His gloved hands snake up to your chest as he pulls you violently up by the overalls.

“Dio mio!” Melone cries, and it makes you wince to hear anything other than his usual ‘di molto’, “H-how could you say that? Do you really think I’m that much of a monster?! Didn’t I tell you... how many times do I have to tell you that I accept you?! A thousand? A million? Pick one that I might get started!”

“Melone do you blame me?!” You cry back at him, trying to wriggle out of his strong grip, “You start all this shit after I tell you I just don’t feel such things, and all the questions you kept asking me if I was sure... What the fuck?! You keep buying me cute plates and baby silverware to eat my veggies like I’m fucking five years old! You bought me that stupid fucking water bottle and put all those stickers on it like I need something sparkly to distract me! When you’re not seeming like you’re trying to fix me, you’re trying to insult me by making me out to be a baby! Just because I don’t want sex doesn’t mean I’m any less of an adult than you are!”

“Amo... I bought you those things because I just thought you’d like the color, and the size. You like miniatures and bunnies and pastels... you have since you joined!”

Melone’s soft accusatory voice hits you like a freight train, and you’re suddenly up shit creak. You realize that yeah, you did like pastel colors before you told him what you kept secret from everyone else. You kept a lot of things in, things you only mentioned to Melone because you trusted him. You told him you always admired girls who wore pastel colors, because you didn’t think anything pretty or cute looked good on you, and you never had money to invest in an aesthetic. You wore tattered clothes when you first joined Passione, and you confessed to Melone that you had a lot of days where your father would put you down because of the way you looked. Melone responded by spoiling you with your pastel overalls and pretty shirts and frilly socks, even painstakingly making barrettes and hair clips by hand and supergluing the charms on them so you had something cute to pin your clothes and hair up with. He even dyed the laces on your sneakers when you wanted different soft colors. You mentioned one time that you never had a particular doll, a Kewpie, because your mother couldn’t afford to get you one. Next day Melone woke you up and presented you with what he called “your new baby”, and even bought all the accessories for your doll much to your serendipitous delight. Even one time you remembered before telling Melone about your asexuality, you told him that you envied kids and their colorful dinnerware, while adults had to eat off boring breakable plates. You’d asked him how come you couldn’t just eat dinner off of a shark as a joke. You didn’t expect the next day to have all these cute plates and forks and spoons and cups, with Melone holding his arms out wide exclaiming they were just for you.

“I asked you all those prying questions because I wanted to know more about you.” He insisted, cupping your face after he set you down gently, “What kind of a monster do you think I am, that I would force you to do something you don’t want to do? That you think I’m buttering you up and ‘fixing’ you? I just want you to take care of yourself. You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted, because no one ever understood how wonderful you were and how much you deserve the world. I want you to be healthy and happy, Amore mio...”

Every little minuscule thing you were angry about suddenly didn’t make you so angry anymore. Melone... God dammit... He LOVED you, and he had done nothing wrong ever in this entire relationship. All he ever did was care... Was that a crime?

“Who hurt you baby?” He whispered, tears flooding his good eye, “Who told you that you were any less and made you question kindness?”

“Oh boy...” you gulp down the tears so you’re not bawling like a baby, “Where do I even begin...”

Too many names to count. Too many lovers that treated you like you were undeserving of love. Too many people who thought of you as incomplete, or less than human, all because you just didn’t feel that way. You tried to please too many people, to the point that you hated yourself for how much you groveled, and now that Melone was in your life, you began to think for yourself. It’s funny how much you realize that he’s not just your boyfriend, he’s your best friend in the entire world. He started off as your friend, encouraging you to think for yourself and spoiling you with gifts and praise when you took those steps towards your independence.

Melone didn’t break you down like everyone else. Rather he helped you to stand strong on your own two feet. Maybe that’s why you’d trusted him enough to come out, and as you spill your guts to him the whole situation feels immensely better. He holds you tightly, cursing those who hurt you, and praising you for being so brave and rising above the negativity.

You’re so thankful, you think, to have someone who finally understands you fully.

[shoutoismybaby]

Enouement- Ch 2

Pregnant!Reader X Bakusquad boy (read to find out!)

ch1 / masterlist / ch3

For now, I think I am going to update every Friday?? Idk if you know e you know the last thing I am is consistent so..

Also, you finally get to see who the boyfriend is! I hope none of you are disappointed, I just feel like he doesn't have enough content written about him so, here we are!

***

There had been a lot of crying. That was really all you could remember after stepping into your mother's car. Together you decided that a medical abortion was what you wanted, it would save your future goals and love life after all. That was what was most important to you. Since it was still available and less invasive, you pushed away your fears and went through with the abortion. The doctors said that it should induce some sort of miscarriage within the next two weeks, and even though you knew the failure rate was low you were still nervous that it hadn’t worked after a week. You were nearing your fourth month, and your bump was becoming a bit noticeable. More than just an “I ate too much for my last meal” and moving into “hey everyone, I'm carrying a baby!” territory. And it scared you. 

You had to go back to school by now, having at this point already taken close to five days off. You had almost never been more anxious. Your family had to go out and get you new clothes and a uniform just to hide your growing baby belly, and you were sure that your boyfriend would notice. Well, then again maybe not..

“Babe!” Your boyfriend greeted you at the door of his classroom as you walked in. You had made it a tradition once you started dating to visit him in his classroom every day. Today was out of the ordinary though because despite it only being 8 AM in the morning, he somehow had already hit his quirks limit, now being reduced to his dummy state. One hand giving you a thumbs up while the other arm was extended with grabby hands.

“Kami, what happened?!” Your concern had caused the dying laughter in the classroom to start right back up. Kirishima attempted to explain, but it was a bit difficult to understand him through his own hearty laughs.

“Kami- Kaminari just walked in the door… and bakugou went off!”

“He's been doing this, like, since you left.” Sero agreed, you looked over at the angry blonde who refused to look at you.

“Maybe if he wasn’t so stupid I wouldn’t have to give him a taste of his own medicine.” You only glared at the hedgehog, trying to decipher what he meant while you let your boyfriend fall into your arms. His smell hit you as soon as your face laid against his chest and you couldn't help but take a deep breath in. God, you missed him.

You hated how distant you had been recently. You just wished for this all to go away so that you guys could go back to normal. Avoiding him was hurting your heart.

Oh,

That was what Bakugou meant.

Why did he care that much? Bakugou had always been Bakugou’s main and only concern. So why was he messing with your boyfriend to get him back for a problem that was both of your faults?

Before you could really think about it though Kaminari was pushing the two of you into the hallway. You let out a little giggle and looked up to the face that was slowly turning back to its normal mischievous smirk.

“Kami where are we going?” You asked, he smiled wider.

“The hallway.” He let go of you to open the door and push you through,

“Why?” You let him lead you with complete trust, but you couldn't help but start laughing at what Sero yelled at the two of you.

“You guys are so disgusting, why don't you go home to make out?!”

“You’re lucky I'm even leaving the room.” Kaminari giggled, closing the door behind the two of you. He quickly lead you to an empty stairwell where he finally pressed his lips against yours.

You forgot how soft and warm they always were. A warmth you had been unknowingly craving since you had last seen him. Your hands found his shoulders as his rested on your cheeks, squishing them in order to get you to laugh, letting him explore your mouth. You could tell how much he missed you, by the way, he moved slowly. His hold on you gentle and protective, shielding you behind his body from anyone who may come near. It was times like these that made sure you never doubted him when he said he loved you.

At the beginning of your relationship, you were suspicious. He had always been such a flirt, so much so that everyone in class A was sure that he was a fuckboy. So when he asked you out, despite your huge crush on him, you said no.

Eventually, of course, you gave him a chance and that was something you never regretted. He was so kind and loving, you considered him the best boyfriend in the world! It was only a bonus that he was so cute too.

Your heart began to race in a way that made you feel sick once his hands fell from your cheeks, quickly making their way from your breasts to take hold onto your waist. You couldn't let him know, so you pushed him away.

“I.. I'm sorry I just. I suddenly don't feel that good.” It was only partially a lie now, the fear making bile present in your throat. He took another step back from you and placed his hand on your forehead.

“Oh, do you need to see recovery girl? I thought you were better now, what did you even have anyway?” You gently pushed his hand away and shook your head.

“No, I just think I need to sit down,” You smiled at him, hoping to erase his worries. It seemed to work and he began to lead you back to class,

“Class is starting soon anyways and Vlad King would be so pissed if you missed any more class huh? If you start to feel worse you’ll tell me though right?” His bright eyes made you melt, how could one person be so kind and selfless?

“I love you,” Comes out of your mouth before you can stop it and you relish in his laugh,

“I love you too, you should know this! What, did you get so sick you lost your brain cells?” You shake your head and squeeze his hand, only letting go once you made it to the classroom door, he gave you a quick peck on the cheek before letting you walk into class 3-b alone. Once he left you sighed, putting your face into the palms of your hand. Was it bad to already miss him being by you? 

You only moved when you remembered the state you had found Kaminari in this morning, and the glare Bakugou had left burning into your soul. Once you thought about it, you understood why he was angry. Even though he loved to pretend that he hated all of you, he had a sweet spot for his friends. A title you were lucky enough to hold.

So you took out your phone and decided to give him a call, something you knew he hated. But you had to get back at him at least a little bit for how he had been treating Kaminari.

He let it ring for a few seconds before answering, and you made sure to speak before he could yell at you.

“I’m okay, so you can stop messing with my boyfriend,” you say, casually reaching into your bag to grab out your notebook. Which, lucky for you was filled with notes sent in the Bakusquad group chat. You could hear his apprehension in the silence, something that came with knowing him from three years.

I’m serious! There’s nothing to worry about cause I got a... You know.” You muttered quiet enough so that only he would hear. You could only imagine the kind of facial expression the air in front of him was faced with experiencing.

“Know what, you trying to speak in fucking tongues?” He asked, you just shook your head on instinct, despite knowing he couldn't see you.

“No, I-” The door slid open, interrupting you and letting your teacher in. “Listen, Vlad just walked in so, I’ll tell you before lunch, okay?”

And you did, after class ended you texted Denki that you were going to be a couple of minutes late before leading Bakugou to the stairwell Kaminari had lead you to before. After looking around for anyone else you told Bakugou about how you had gotten an abortion.

“Well, I guess I’m still, having one? It hasn’t fully worked yet but it still has the rest of the week for it to work. So I'm only kind of worried…” You didn’t realize you had begun to babble until Bakugou growled.

“Damn, TMI much?”

“Y-You’re the one who seemed concerned!” You countered, crossing your arms. His face flushed lightly at your statement.

“What gave you that idea shitty woman?!” His hands were clenched at his side, and you were glad there was no sign of sparks coming from them yet.

“Uh, maybe the fact you kept MESSING WITH MY BOYFRIEND EVERY MORNING TILL HE MAXED OUT!” You flung your arms to accentuate your point and looked away from him with a huff. “Why do you even care so much anyway? I thought you’d just say I’m an idiot and call it a day.”

There was silence for a moment, causing you to look over at the blonde. He was facing the floor, hands still clenched and you couldn’t tell he was thinking. When you took a step forward to ask what was wrong his head shot back up, surprising you.

“I have an older brother,” It was probably the softest you had ever heard Bakugou speak before, and you took it as a sign to stay quiet. “My mom got pregnant with him in high school, it was from a guy who had just dumped her and she knew it was going to ruin her education, but she had him anyway. The old hag made me listen to her stories about what it was like for her before she met my dad, and it… kinda sucked. Plus, I knew that with Kaminari being such a dunce, it was probably an accident and that he wasn’t being much help.”

Your heart swelled and you smiled.

“Thank you for worrying about me.” “I WASN’T WORRIED, GOT IT STUPID GIRL?” He finally burst, face red and hands popping. Still, you couldn’t help but hug him and begin laughing,

“Yeah, you did! You care about me and your friends even though you try to pretend you don’t.” You continued to giggle even as he pushed you away, that is until you began to fall. Usually, his shove would only be enough to get you off of him, but the pregnancy had seriously messed with your balance. You squeaked as soon as you realized you had lost your balance and grabbed at Bakugou's shirt in an attempt to stabilize yourself. Instead, it ended with both you and the blond falling. You onto the ground and Bakugou on top of you, his head awkwardly landing on your chest. 

He began yelling as soon as he lifted himself up. It was a mix of calling you names and random curses, but you didn’t really listen. Instead you were trying to forget the pain you were in, you tried to sit up but gave up with a grunt. This caused Bakugou to stop his rant, now he was straddling your legs, having not moved since he pushed himself up. He leaned back down a bit and moved to hold the back of your head. You winced and tried to pull away from his touch but stopped when he glared at you,

“Your skulls not broken so stop whining.” he softly placed your head back on the ground and met your glare.

“Yeah well, it still hurts. And it’s more than just my head.” You muttered. Not noticing the way your hand had drifted to your stomach. Bakugou then sat back up and his face morphed into one of concern,

“Oh, shit. I forgot.. You okay?” You nodded, pulling your arm back as soon as you realized.

“Yeah, even if it wasn’t it wouldn’t really matter since…” You didn’t finish your sentence and you waited for Bakugou to help you up once he was standing. He scratched the back of his head and looked towards the wall,

“Sorry…” you quickly waved off his apology as you two made your way towards the cafeteria, promising to never mention what had happened again.

You split up once you made it to the table, Bakugou taking his seat next to Kirishima and you taking a seat next to Kaminari.

“Hey babe, what took you so long?” He greeted, moving his bag from your spot.

“Oh, Bakugou was helping me with one of the parts of the notes he sent. I couldn’t read it cause his handwriting is so messy.” You hated lying, but you knew that soon it would be over and you wouldn’t have to anymore. From across the table, Bakugou began blasting,

“YOU’RE JUST ILLITERATE YOU SHITTY GIRL!” Which of course lead to the entire table laughing. It was then that you realized just how much you missed this. Being normal, at lunch. Hanging onto your boyfriend’s shoulder and laughing at his cheesy pickup lines he still tried on you. Of course, they never failed to make you blush.

It really hadn’t been all that long since you had been doing this. But it felt that way, especially when you were worried about keeping a secret. “And that’s when we got kicked out of the restaurant,” Kirishima was just now finishing a story about the time he and Bakugou had gone to a noodle shop.

“It’s not my fault those extras didn’t know how to make spicy noodles!” Bakugou said in between bites. The Bakusquad began laughing as Kirishima went to continue on with the story, but you heard Denki’s phone go off. You looked over to see him unlock it, but then went back to listening to Kirishima’s story. You felt Kaminari stiffen beneath your hold and you looked questionably at him, but by now he had turned his phone away from you.

“Kami-”

“(Y/n), can we go talk in the hall?”

***

Please give me your thoughts and feedback!

Taglist: @multi-fandomslover @irisallenm @spoiledgordita @carolinawindsay

[onewfantaesy]

Monsters in the Dark

(tw: ed) (I wanted to put this under a read more but mobile sucks)

It started small at first. Skipping a meal here. Spending longer hours in the practice room there. He was on a diet for a comeback anyway, he needed to lose the weight. It was a good thing. Taemin was just doing his job.

But then the stress of comebacks was getting to him, and limiting himself to a single meal a day became a form of control. It was something he had absolute power over - how much food he put in his body. When so much of his life was controlled by seemingly everyone but him, to have this small sliver of power over himself was comforting. Besides, it wouldn’t really harm him. He needed to lose the weight for the comeback anyway. He could stop whenever he wanted.

Then as time went on, it was like he became obsessed with his reflection. Anytime he saw a mirror, anytime he saw a reflective surface, he had to stare at himself, even if just for a moment. To check the way his legs look. To check if his collarbones are poking out just the way he likes. To check how his fingers look.

His cheeks, goddamn his cheeks. It seemed no matter how much weight he lost, no matter what the number on the scale said, his cheeks wouldn’t get smaller, wouldn’t go away, wouldn’t stop being so chubby. And it wasn’t like people couldn’t seem to go a goddamn day without telling him about his chubby fucking cheeks. Some nights, after long days spent practicing and counting calories and practicing some more, he sits in front of the mirror in a dimly lit dance room, squeezing his cheeks between his fingers, pinching, pulling until the skin is bright red and hot and numb. He wants to pull them off. He wants to be rid of them. He hates them.

He’s not quite sure how many months it’s been since this all started, but he can’t find it in him to really care. No one has said anything, no one seems to notice, so it must not really be a problem. Besides, his mind is too foggy to give a damn. He can hardly focus on a single thing lately, he can’t even remember what he was concerned about. He shakes his head and lets out a shuddering breath and pushes his way into his favorite practice room. It’s a free day, he has nothing going on, so he plans on spending the entire day dancing and singing until he physically can’t move anymore.

Six hours later, his head is swimming and his whole body is slick with sweat and he can’t seem to catch his breath. It was fine though. Taemin would be fine. He grabbed his seventh water bottle with shaking hands and chugged it until it was half-empty. He would be fine. He would just take a nap on the dance room floor and then go home to shower and sleep. It was fine.

He was woken up by Exo coming in to practice for their comeback. They’d booked the room a few days ago. Taemin has a throbbing headache and Jongin is laughing and poking him awake and telling him to go home.

“Do you want me to call a manager?” Suho asks, his gaze looking vaguely concerned.

“I’m fine, thank you,” is all Taemin says, and he ducks his head and shuffles out into the hallway. He has to sit in the hallway for fifteen more minutes before his head stops swirling and he can drag himself home.

Another few months, and the fainting starts. The first one was during rehearsal. Easy to hide, because he’d stayed late and everyone had already left when it had happened. He woke up on the floor with a banged up elbow and knee, and his vision was blurry, but he sat up and drank a zero-calorie Propel and tried to regulate his breathing.

He gets a cab home and falls into bed. He hadn’t even taken his shoes off. His bedding was soaked in sweat. He felt disgusting when he woke up. Everything felt disgusting.

When he passes by a mirror the next day, he looks at his fingers and almost has a panic attack. They look like sausage links sewed to his hands. He almost starts crying, but the fear gets lodged in his throat instead, and he suppresses the panic just in time to walk into the concept meeting for the next comeback, a smile plastered on his face. Kibum looks confused at the apparent excitement on Taemin’s face, but he doesn’t say anything.

He never passes out on stage. Not during promotions. He somehow manages to hold out just long enough to get backstage before he falls against Jinki’s chest or Minho’s back. That’s if someone catches him. Otherwise, it’s straight to the floor, but it always ends with people crowded around him.

“I’m just stressed,” he says. “Not sleeping well.”

It appease everyone. They don’t question him further. Instead, he’s given sleeping pills and told to try and get more sleep. Taemin takes them without question or complaint. Besides, the pills make it easier to sleep off the hunger that gnaws at him endlessly.

He’s with Jongin a while later, visiting his sister with him. Playing with his niece and nephew. It’s when Jongin’s nephew comes up to him and shows him a toy that the three day fast he’s on the tail end of suddenly hits him.

Eat the child, the voice in his head tells him.

No, he tells the voice. That’s too many calories.

It’s not until later, until they’re leaving to go get coffee and go back home, that he becomes concerned with his rationale to not just consume Jongin’s toddler nephew. The calorie count in a toddler should not be the first response Taemin has when his mind contemplates cannibalism, no matter how fleeting of a thought it was.

It’s at an award show during a live broadcast performance that he faints on stage. He’d been doing a spin in the choreography - something of a signature move now, really - when he couldn’t stop the spinning in his head and he stumbled and his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his mouth went slack just as the camera was on him and he fell to the floor of the stage with a heavy thump.

He woke up with a throbbing headache in a room that was too bright and too many people crowding around him. He’s told he needs to go to the hospital. He needs to see a doctor.

“I’m fine,” he insists. He can’t catch his breath. His heart feels heavy in his chest, but it’s not beating very fast.

“Your blood pressure is too low,” someone tells him.

“I’m fine.”

He doesn’t go to the doctor. He insists he just wasn’t feeling well, that he thought he was catching a cold.

Months after that, maybe half a year or so, they’re all arguing. They can’t agree on a comeback concept. Can’t agree on a title song. Taemin hates it, he hates the yelling, the slamming of coffee cups, the clatter of pens on the conference table as concept after concept is scratched off of lists.

Taemin had eaten half a croissant that was provided for the meeting, but his stomach was twisting and turning now, and he sudddnly felt sick. The others were in the middle of bickering when Taemin’s chair scrapes against the floor and he rushes out of the room, stumbling to the bathroom down the hall and barely locking the stall door before he’s falling on the tiled floor, bruising his knees, and emptying his stomach of every single bite of croissant and gulp of coffee that he’d had that day. Tears are burning his eyes and he’s gasping for breath and his nose burns with vomit stuck in his nostrils. He flushed the toilet before anyone comes in to see what was wrong with him, but he’s still gagging and heaving when Jinki comes in.

“Are you alright?” Jinki asks, his voice laced with concern. “Are you sick?”

“Stomach bug,” Taemin says in a strained voice. “Almost shit my pants yesterday, too.”

That last part wasn’t even a lie, but it definitely wasn’t because of a stomach bug. Jinki just snorts.

“TMI, dude,” he jokes. “Do you want me to get you anything? Some water?”

“I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll wait for you, then,” Jink is says softly. He’s too sweet, but Taemin wishes he would leave right now.

“Thanks,” is all he can manage to say.

But Taemin hates the bickering. Hates the tense energy that’s in the room even under the concern that everyone sends him. Hates that he realizes he liked the way puking felt, but more so hates the way he liked he way his face looked in the bathroom mirror afterwards. Flushed with bright red lips and wet eyes and pretty. It’s frightening, the way he likes it.

It opens a door Taemin wish had stayed closed. Now he can’t help but be tempted to purge every meal he eats. It’s so satisfying, the way everything comes back up. The way he can now eat and eat and eat and just stick his fingers down his throat and expel it all before he can digest it.

But it’s a terrible cycle of binging and purging, binging and purging, binging and purging. Then, he feels so sick and disgusting from the days, weeks, months of eating anything and everything that he restricts worse than he ever had before. His stomach is killing him and he’s in so much pain but he’ll be damned if he eats anything other than a single rice cake and slice of cheese for the next two days. He cannot binge again. He can’t.

He eventually gets so used to making himself puke that he has to stick his entire fist down his throat to make it work. It leads to too many close encounters with actually suffocating and choking himself. But he can’t stop.

“What’s the matter?” Minho asks one day, looking at how Taemin won’t stop staring at the mirror.

Taemin moves hisneyws slowly towards him, then looks back at his reflection.

“I look-” he stammers, like his tongue can’t form the words, “I look like a fucking Jigglypuff.”

Minho snorts loudly, to the point that the others all glance over at them.

“You’re joking, right?” Minho laughs.

He brushes it off as a joke, and everyone goes back to stretching.

Except Taemin wasn’t laughing.

Eat the cereal, the voice in his head tells him that night.

No, don’t, the other voice tells him. Or you’ll get fat and die.

Just eat the cereal.

Don’t eat it.

Eat it.

Don’t eat it.

EAT IT.

DON’T EAT IT.

“SHUT UP!” Taemin screams at the mirror, his fists clutching the vanity in the bathroom. His breathing is uneven and his reflection in the mirror stares back at him like a starved animal. He stares hard at his reflection and tells himself, “We’re not eating.”

He gets into the shower after the bathroom has already filled with steam and fogged up the mirror. He doesn’t remember getting in, but his eyes snap open and he’s laying on the shower floor and the water spilling over him is ice cold and he’s shivering and he wants to die.

His whole body hurts. He’s hungry. He’s cold. He just wants to go to bed and not wake up in the morning. He’s exhausted. He can’t handle being awake right now.

He turns off the water and it’s already pitch black outside when he steps out of the shower. He puts three layers of pajamas on and crawls under four blankets on his bed and passes out the moment his head hits the pillow.

Then he wakes up in the morning and repeats it all over again, the voices in his head arguing about what he can and cannot eat and he tries to drown it all out by chugging coffee instead. He gets shakey and jittery and just wants to go back to bed. He just wants to go to bed.

[serenagaywaterford]

What is tender culture????

tender culture is all this cottagecore, domesticity, uwu crap that is particularly prevalent in lesbian/wlw circles. like i’m all for fluff and thinking positively but tender culture seems to reduce loving women to a set of stereotypical “feminine” soft and gentle traits. like here’s an example:

“we are in a toasty log cabin in the woods. it’s cold and we snuggle under this homemade quilt with our cat and quietly sip hot chocolate as the snowflakes gently fall against the reddening leaves outside. but we’re safe and warm and loved.”

it’s that sort of shit.

like i said, it’s not bad. it’s just that it’s EVERYWHERE. hell, i follow that lesbian domesticity blog myself tbh (altho i does grate on my nerves that it’s constantly about tender culture and never about sex. and really it is nothing like my relationship with my wife but hey. it’s about her and her wife, not universal experiences. her blog her rules). tender culture as a whole seems to idealise relationships (cos i’m sure it exists in bi and het circles too) as these sweet, cutesy, soft things that are always perfect and everyone is just gentle and calm and utterly loving all the time.

and there’s never any fucking. there’s never any indication that women are sexual beings and sex is an integral part of relationships. (don’t anybody fight me on this. it’s true and you know it.) there’s never any indication that people argue, or tease, or fight, or get turned on. hell, most of the time there’s never even any indication that people PLAY and joke even. it’s ALL like “uwu i barely touch your hand and feel the stars align and we are soft and perfect and fall asleep in your arms.” BARF.

i think, tbh, that’s the issue i have with it being SO prevalent in lesbian online culture. we’ve been told FOREVER that lesbian sex either doesn’t exist, isn’t real sex, is gross, doesn’t really count OR alternately is this fetishistic OTT porn thing for men to jerk off to. we’ve been taught to be ashamed and keep our SEXUALITY to ourselves. the tender culture thing makes being lesbian palatable to the masses because it’s so non-threatening.

and to separate it from lesbian culture specifically, we AS WOMEN have been taught since birth to shut up about sex. we’ve been shamed into silence about female masturbation and female arousal and female orgasm and female desire. like so many of us grow up without learning about our own bodies. a woman knowing her own body is a threat. a woman seeking her own pleasure is a threat. basically a woman talking about sex is a threat. 

and even besides sex, we’ve been socialised to be calm, gentle, nice, accommodating, nurturing, kind, and so so soft. we’re not allowed to be hungry, funny, angry, emotional, mean, have boundaries, be wild and dirty and feral. we’re not allowed to scream and fight unless we’re one of “those” type of women as if all women don’t want to just fucking scream sometimes. 

sometimes women just need to get themselves off too. i just find it very… dangerous to ONLY see that non-threatening tender side of things because it upholds patriarchal behavioural gender norms to such a crazy degree.

so all this “tender culture” crap that basically denies this side of female existence by its silence bothers me. which is why i like to reblog posts critical about tender culture sometimes, alongside tender culture posts which i do like also. we need reminders that there is NOTHING wrong with masturbation, sexual arousal, sexual pleasure, fucking (not just ~making love~), and being a woman while doing it. there’s nothing weird or wrong about being angry and upset and playful and horny and wild. i would just really like to see more content like that. 

there is an argument that women/lesbians have been so overly sexualised by men that it’s a direct response to that pure sexual objectification. like, hey, women have feelings and care, and especially lesbians are romantic and loving too. not just sex objects shoving dildos in each other while wearing high heels. i can see some validity in that reaction. but to me, there is just too much and it starts to seem like that ALL lesbians want is hand holding and a pretty garden and cats in some idyllic cottage somewhere. it seems to have flipped too far the other way into a cliched “perfect woman” under patriarchy non-threat stereotype.

i also recognise that the moment a woman starts talking about sex, especially lesbians, it easily gets co-opted and appropriated by perverts and fetishists and pornsick men (and women). it’s hard to just talk about our experiences without it being viewed a specific way by outsiders. it’s either hyper-sexualised or hypo-sexualised by someone else. there is always gonna be some sick fuck with his dick in his hand ready to go or some conservative prick screaming bloody murder about morals as soon as we try to discuss our own experiences. but i don’t think that means we should shut up about everything sexual or dirty or “nasty” about our reality as women out of fear of these scrotal cumsacks.

it’s all about balance, really.

and being willing to get up and yell: GET OUT. THIS ISN’T FOR YOU. when you see them infiltrate something for us. you see a man make a lewd comment, call him out. make him uncomfortable. take back what we have from them.

like i said, there’s nothing inherently wrong with tender culture. i just think it needs to be balanced with actual reality. there’s nothing wrong with romantic daydreams and just wanting someone to love you gently, and to cherish you and your relationship. and especially when the world is so insane, it’s fine to want something calm and gentle. but real relationships are not JUST that one thing. and i think tender culture gives a false sense of reality as to what normal adult relationships are like. i’ve been told here on my blog that even talking about sex with my wife is TMI (it’s not), talking about masturbation is TMI (it’s not), and even worse that me arguing with my wife and getting pissed off at her is something to be so terrified of (it’s not) that i should “get somewhere safe”. no. i should work it out and communicate. not run away every time things aren’t fluffy and calm and tender. that’s so unhealthy. and that’s what i feel being inundated with tender culture does. it gives a warped idea about what a healthy relationship is.

like no. tender culture denies this not so nice reality of human relationships, especially when you live together. like yes, of course we have the beautiful, romantic, tender side too. but people argue. people can fucking hate each other sometimes when they’re stressed out or frustrated and it comes out in arguments. and there is a scale. there’s a point when it becomes unhealthy and toxic but i think it’s equally unhealthy to never argue and force yourself to push any feelings you have down in order to maintain some idealized genteel version of a relationship that you’ve been bombarded with online as what you SHOULD have. 

and this goes for joking around and playfulness too. sometimes when i joke with my wife and call her a bitch or she says “rude” things to me, people are like “OH MY GOD!” but… i mean, that’s just us? it’s joking. (we sometimes do it purposely in front of people to laugh at their reactions cos we are both assholes.) we play with each other a lot. she’s an incessant tease. she calls me an idiot. i literally tell her i’m gonna punch her in the face when she’s teasing me. do i mean it? of course not. we roughhouse and wrestle and playfight even (not sexually jsyk. just simply playing which is SO LOST in this society. we don’t do any bdsm bullshit). it’s a type of physical expression that doesn’t hurt anybody and requires a certain level of connection and trust too. the fact i can tackle her onto the sofa and she squeals and grapples me back is HEALTHY. adults can play too. it’s like that post i made a while back when i talked about how my wife shoved her fingers in me when i was bending over unaware and laughed about it ...and was told it was TMI. like um ...we are physically intimate and playful and it’s not a BAD THING. and i’ll share it cos honestly? if you don’t have that level of intimacy and trust and fun, i personally think there may be something wrong. (if it crosses personal boundaries for you, that’s something else. but she knows it doesn’t bother me.) on my blog i will talk about my relationship with my wife in ALL its glory, bad, good, fun, horny, loving cos it is a fully-rounded relationship and adults don’t experience just one thing.

i fucking love sex with women and i was denied it for so long i’m not about to shut up about it now. i love fucking and the female body in all its wet, messy, soft, beautiful glory. i love being in love finally and properly and i won’t shut up about that either. i won’t be shamed to be quiet about my body or my sex life or my relationship that ISN’T perfect. (like i’m literally going to kill her if says to me one more time that 80s music is the best music lmao like she’s gonna kill me if i leave one more dirty bowl beside the sofa for the stupid idiot dogs to get at). 

to some people, i guess reality doesn’t matter. they only want the daydreams and fantasies, or they only live in a soft cloud world. that’s up to them. maybe that’s what they need in their lives. and that is fine. for a while but it isn’t real life and it’s not what you should strive for. it SHOULD be part of what you strive for however. you should have someone who cherishes you and cares and loves and respects.

i just don’t think tender culture should be as overwhelming as it is. it sets standards that i don’t think are realistic. let’s talk about sex or arguing or any range of human relationship issues too. don’t get rid of tender culture, at all. keep it. cherish it. let it give you hope and positivity and ease loneliness and isolation. healthy, loving, respectful fantasies are important af. but don’t act like a puritanical dunce when a woman talks about sex or hunger or anger as well.

i mean i’m not asking for sexually explicit content and i’d never go into intense detail about my own life (that’s what fanfic is for lmao) but a little recognition that women aren’t just domestic soft cliches. that’s all.

i don’t see any of that in tender culture. it’s all soft uwu feathery kisses and soothing fingers brushing along a forearm. blah… sometimes you need to get fucked. sometimes you need to laugh. sometimes even you need to argue.

wow ok

sorry anon

you asked me what tender culture was and i went off on a rant about why i hate it lol. i’m sorry. you asked such a simple question and i word vommed all over it.

[lostinthereign]

May 23 2020

Day 25

Today was great! I spent some much needed time with my grandmother and since we live apart now it means even more to me when we get to see each other. The day started out beautifully as I talked and laughed with my little...I’m going to be bold and say future family. It felt like any other day as I was putting on my makeup, listening to the tiny humans and honestly just enjoying how easy the flow is between us. After begrudgingly saying goodbye I drove over to my aunts house where my family was.

So I’m over at my aunts house sitting down in this ridiculously hard wooden chair and when I shifted my posture in the chair it made me press my thighs together..annnnd that felt pretty nice..so I did it again...and again..and again..and then one more time for luck. Thankfully nobody noticed the flush in my cheeks or the heaviness of my breathing. A little TMI but eh. My blog. My rules. I could feel my panties sticking to me from the wetness pooling from me. I don’t know what hormones overtook me or my body but it was at that point I realized..I needed Him. So of course I freaking texted Him. Duh. However He wasn’t quite getting the message I was sending lol. He thought I was upset and looking back now I can’t believe how incredibly sweet and thoughtful that is. (Freaking love this man.) In His thoughtfulness His name popped up on my phone and I politely excused myself to go hide in the bathroom lol.

Seconds later His handsome face graced my screen and even in my horny daze I blushed from seeing Him. He was kind and probing trying to see what I was feeling and I’m not normally so..blunt? Or maybe that’s not the right word but when He asked me what kind of needy I was I kindly said “Needy like I want to grind myself on your knee and get off.” It wasn’t soft. Not cute. It was kinda demanding and kinda just primal really. Now. Listen. Haha. That’s woooo that’s normally not me. I stunned myself by my own answer and I could see the wheels spinning in His head as His face of caring turned into intrigued then playful cruelty. “And you want me to fix that?” I swear I could see Him enjoying me squirm. That sentence turned me on and made me mad at the same time. I gave Him this look of Well Duh and Pretty Please combined.

And fix it He did. In seconds He had me clutching the counter for support as I desperately tried to keep quiet by biting my lips. Eventually I caved and didn’t care anymore and I could hear myself gasping and moaning. I don’t know if He could tell the state I was in or what but He was merciful and 1. Allowed me to..ya know and 2. He didn’t tease me and make me beg for it. As soon as He gave that magical command I could feel my legs wanting to give out beneath me as they started to shake. He of course was grinning from ear to ear. I could see the pride in Himself just flowing out of Him and I loved it lol. We talked after as I stood in the bathroom trying to get myself back together and then once more I reluctantly hung up the phone.

Exciting the bathroom my brother looked up from his phone and stopped me. “Did you put on more highlighter?” Me rolling my eyes thinking he was going to be a typical brother. “No. Why?” Y’all. I kid you not. My brother straight up looked at me then shrugged. “I don’t know you’re just like more glowy” When I tell you the colossal amount of effort it took not to start laughing. Oh my god. I just gave him a small smile and a quick thanks. However. My best friend aka our sister was there. Let me preface this by saying she knows about well..all of this lol. She knows My Master/My Boyfriend are one and the same. Back to the story. She started laughing and I gave her a warning glare. “Uh that’s not why she’s glowing.” I turned to her saying her full legal name in my sweet but spiteful tone. “She’s glowing because she just-“ Before she could get anything else out I shifted my weight from my right to my left purposely knocking over her drink onto the carpet. Me being the somewhat petty person I am I alerted my aunt to the mess which in turn had my bestie/sister cleaning up her mess while getting an earful from two sets of parents, one grandmother, two siblings and the dog. It was a beautiful moment. Afterwards she was quiet the rest of the evening.

After leaving my aunts me and my grandmother went and did a little light shopping before I took her home and of course she bought me little gifts because she loves to spoil me when she can lol. Then I went home.

Where I am now thinking I maybe have taken too much sudafed and that’s unfortunate. I’m so tired of being sick. I even went and bought three more things of orange juice today and I freaking hate the stuff..kinda..well it’s starting to grow on me lol. Anyways I’m waiting on Him to call me and start our movie!!! I’m excited about tonight!! And today was a totally great day!!

-Sunflowersandrabbitholes