#me and my 300 goons

[callilemon]

THANK YOU!

I can't believe 300 of y'all like my silly little blog/art! Thank you for sticking with me on this journey! Cheers!

[some-bunniii]

Oh my gosh you write Lucifer SO WELL!! I read your latest artist!reader piece and it's like!! SO GOOD!

First of all, you capture the warm and fuzzy feelings we all have for our dearest Lulu perfectly! The bit where "you could get drunk off his warmth and energy" is like the EXACT feeling I have about him!! Like I just went 'oh shit' out loud because YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY IT!!!

Also Alastor and Lucifer were so funny, Alastor being such a little shit and Luci just unable to see through it because he's so so jealous? Good shit!! You wrote that scene SO WELL, I was like "I can see this in front of my very eyes, it's so canon it's insane".

AND the resulting montage of Lucifer flexing his powers? The scenes switching? The "I'm the King of Hell, now watch what I can do" energy? TOP NOTCH, 100/10, NO NOTES!! I'M IN LOVE

And the rooftop scene, the confession, THE SONG, it's so so perfect. I'm losing it, I'll be re-reading your stuff over and over now.

Thank you so so so much for sharing your writing with us!! The hard work and care you put into it shows!

aAAaaahhh!!! thank you 🙏🤍

i never expected this kind of reaction from my writing and it’s so great to see everyone else enjoying how i view this man 🤭 it really motivates me to keep going like ive got small snippets of part 4 scribbled out in my docs already 🤣

i have more ideas for these two and i want to also include the hotel cast throughout because there’s no way you’re living with these goons and not having fun with em too!

also, almost 300 followers in the first week of being on this app?! mwah 💋 mwah 💋

stay tuned, my swans! 🦢

[bigkingxl0]

so, after reading your stuff for awhile, ive been sinking farther and farther into hedonism and the obese slob life, and now it’s truly over for me. i’m done for. i completely gave into it last night and gorged on pizza and boost, bought a few ounces of weed, and surrendered to my fate as a lifelong hog who can only blow up into a dumber and fatter pig. i’m already over 300 lbs so why bother stopping now? idgaf about hygeine or my brain cells anymore, i just NEED to swell and goon and toke myself into gainer oblivion, living in a cloud of my own gas and trapped under 1000 pounds of my own lard. because honestly, the only thing left for me is to become an immobile braindead blob, overcome by his own blubber and filth. thanks for the inspiration!!!

(here’s proof btw:) ibb.co/ YbfxN1r

Good job, pig! Finally embracing the true life you're meant to live.

Keep giving in. Keep giving up. You can't escape now. You're right, you're already fat. It's too hard to lose weight. Just keep smoking and stroking. You are clearly meant to keep blowing up. Brain cells? What's that? Hygiene? Never heard of it. Simple men are meant to lay around, gorge, grow, gain, and other dopamine chasing. Out with the old (being smart, being fit, being an active member of society...) and in with the new (being huge, being gross, being a hedonistic slob)!

Now you're inspiration for all these gainer gooners that are so scared and excited to be like you, but too afraid to take the plunge. You see, this pig here is living his BEST life. Look at him, covered in food stains, fat piled onto his soft lazy body, BEGGING for more.

I hope everyone can see their own futures as you embrace yours, pig.

Amazing ask. Thank you.

[bigsunflowergang]

Wrd2mydeads🎵🎵

just feel like sharing my NY drill playlist with y’all bc i use a lot of them in my fics !

**= favorite …. you guys should listen !!

speed racing- kay flock (🔓) ft. blovee

triple threat- sdot go, naz gpg, & jay hound

raggy- spliffhappy

psa- kay flock (🔓)

is ya ready- kay flock (🔓)

penthouse- 41 (jenn carter, kyle richh)

insecurities- 41 (tata)

**black ops- faZe kayasan, 41 (jenn carter, kyle richh, tata, dee billz), c blu, kenzo balla

**joker- 41 (jenn carter)

**deuce- 41 (jenn carter, kyle richh)

d & d- blockwork & sha ek

wna- sdot go

shock- 41 (jenn carter, tata)

**wait- 41 (jenn carter, kyle richh, tata)

get home- set da trend (setty b)

evil twins pt. 2- sugarhill ddot & notti osama(🕊️)

everybody shot- 41 (jenn carter, kyle richh, no kartii, jerry west)

ayo bri (remix)- sugarhill keem (🔓) ft oy quan (🔓)

**catch up- bbg steppaa ft. dd osama

catch up pt. 2- bbg steppaa ft. dd osama

shot in the party- sha ek

o’s let’s do it (original)- dd osama & deeplay4keeps

keep geekin’- gooddayray ft. dthang gz (🔓 free my man my man)

**on the radar freestyle- jayklickin & jstar balla

**on the radar freestyle- dthang gz (🔓)

move it- sugarhill ddot

gzz box- dthang gz (🔓)

**breakin bad (okay)- sleepy hallow ft. sheff g (🔓)

**stop cappin- sugarhill ddot

eternal- dd osama

**2055- sleepy hallow

**bunny hop- dthang gz (🔓) ft. tdot (🔓 free the whole RPT)

free swindle- k. sixmade ft. 83baby, 3stripes, and dd osama

ice cream truck- sugarhill keem (🔓)

without you- dd osama ft. notti osama (🕊️)

take trips- sugarhill ddot ft. jstar balla

**can’t wait- sugarhill keem

see red- 41 (jenn carter, tata)

headshot- lil tjay, polo g, and fivio foreign

blame on me- j.i. the prince of new york

**talk facts- dthang (🔓), bando gz (🔓), and tdot (🔓)

**FUCKING FREE RPT.**

movelook- sugarhill keem

**movelook (remix)- sugarhill keem ft. blockwork

designer- sheff g (🔓) ft. sleepy hallow

imagination- mo kartii

throw- lil mabu & dd osama

dream- sugarhill ddot

sexy & i know it- sugarhill keem (🔓)

la lokita- jstar balla

wait for you- jayklickin ft. dd osama

missing- crazy james ft. dudeylo

**on the radar- enphamus

flock at the flockas- sugarhill keem (🔓)

wtf- sugarhill keem (🔓)

evil twins- sugarhill keem (🔓) ft. oy quan (🔓)

**shake it- kay flock (🔓), cardi b, dougie b (🔓) ft. bory3000

**opponent- dthang (🔓)

caution- dthang (🔓)

**like- dthang (🔓) ft. bando gz (🔓)

whoopty- cj

no remorse- sugarhill ddot

**many men- lee drilly (🔓)

don’t play with it- lola brooke ft. billy b

make it lit- kenzo b

**friday night- edot babyy (🕊️)

**red ruby da sleeze- nicki minaj (👑)

**stack it- bando gz (🔓)

dead opps- dd osama ft. notti osama (🕊️)

touch the ground- edot babyy (🕊️), sha ek, & sugarhill keem (🔓)

**wedgie man this, wedgie man that- dthang (🔓)

wild west- bigga bzz

**opp huntin’- kenzo balla

how you every o shot- cj goon, 30, sha ek

explosive freestyle- dudeylo

**bizurk- 41 (jenn carter)

**on gang- 41 (jenn carter, kyle richh, tata)

**being honest- kay flock (🔓)

**brotherly love- kay flock (🔓), dougie b (🔓), b lovee

tcardi- kay flock (🔓), dougie b (🔓), lilskrap 1090, justo b

opp spotter- kay flock (🔓) & blovee

**scene- dthang (🔓)

bestie- sleepy hallow

**deadly- nesty gzz ft. say drilly (🔓), lee drilly (🔓), e-wuu

EOS- yagi b, set da trend, dougie b (🔓)

public service announcement- lee drilly (🔓)

**4 for 4- leeks g bando ft. lee drilly (🔓), kay hound, bando gz (🔓)

**freak on- lee drilly (🔓)

habits- dthang (🔓)

get crazy- sugarhill keem (🔓)

no suburban pt. 2- sheff g (🔓)

**drill k pt. 1- tae porter

**50 for 50- blockwork

oyk- nas ebk (🔐 keep that nigga) ft. set da trend

dead gz- kenzo balla

**get back- sha ek ft. pj glizzy (🔓)

this is new york- scar lip

**stuck in my ways- dougie b (🔓)

**no ozone- cblu ft. set da trend

**muddy- pj glizzy (🔓)

bffr- kenzo b

**spinnin’- bbg steppaa & sugarhill ddot

300 bluntz- jayklickin & buba 35

**wrecc- 83baby & jayklickin

not in the mood- kay flock (🔓), lil tjay, & fivio foreign

**keep it 100- dougie b (🔓)

**me, myself, & i- kay flock (🔓)

fetty- 41 (jenn carter, tata, kyle richh)

**kant lack- kenzo balla & faZe kaysan

cuz we did- 41 (tata & kyle richh)

**princess diana- ice spice (👑) & nicki minaj (👑)

**deli- ice spice (👑)

*************************************************

in my miles era rn but can’t forget my husband man free dthang, free bando, free RPT & drilly gzzly 💔💔💔 free doa, free pj glizzy, free the ed twins FREE NEW YORKKKKKK

[fourzerozeroam]

adding to the overflow of entries for @inceptiversary @aeldws prompts - Mistake/Meet Ugly in exactly 300 words.

When the goons take off the bag their guest snarls over the gag. There is a bruise under his right eye and some blood and dirt on his shirt. The idiots keep asking him questions and he’s still gagged.

Eames saunters over and looks at the dishevelled kid, who has been ignoring the goons but now glares, assessing, at Eames.

Flatterer.

Their boss finally joins this clusterfuck of a situation.

“Who the fuck is that?”

The individual in question rolls his eyes at them. It goes unnoticed by the boss who is busy screaming, but Eames snickers.

“I thought I told you I wanted fucking Taylor!”

Eames takes off the gag and doesn’t get spit on.

“Your name, love?”

“Arthur. Yours?” The Arthur? He’s a child!

“Eames.” Arthur’s eyes sparkle with recognition and then immediately squint again.

“We ask questions here!”

Eames blocks the clumsy and utterly unnecessary hit, and glares. “I want to go under with him. He must know something.”

“Idiots, the lot of them.” Eames sighed dramatically. “Darling, I’m so sorry, this is nothing personal. I just want my paycheck, and those fuckwits keep complicating it.”

“Do we have a conflict of interests, Mr. Eames?”

“I should hope not. Who are you after?”

“Darren Sung.”

“Ah.”

Arthur looks unamused. “Are you fucking kidding me.”

Eames is in danger.

“Those naive bastards will try to kill you.”

Arthur nods. “It’s a dangerous business.”

Eames shakes his head. “If only someone had a gun in his strut holster.” He leans in close, because fuck it.

Two fingers push his lips away.

“Darling. Don’t you need a forger?”

Arthur smirks. Then he materialises a gun and shoots himself.

Eames wakes to a room full of corpses. He has two bloody fingerprints over his heart and a number in his pocket.

[sourcandyarcade]

"Dreamers, I have for you a tale of triumph over adversity. Of one person actin' true to their truest self."

Thanks Nora but I feel a bit bad for killing 300 wage slave goons in my multi-reality mega destruction mech for your disembodied voice, no matter how much life advice and support you give me.

[verucagloop]

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First I get you hot with my blue belly and then I get you stroking while I blow up into a round juice ball.

Make sure you follow my instructions and cum on my countdown!

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[serenereigns]

Damaged

Part 1

Pairing: TXT X Male OC/Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1.1k

Not Spellchecked

Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Abuse

"Jae, come with mommy. Everything will be okay." I shake my head, "I don't wanna, the water is scary!" I take a few steps back. My mother continues to call me. "It's okay, look at the cute fish." She trudges towards me. "They are cute, but the water is cold mommy. I wanna leave." She shakes her head teary eyed. She grabs me. "No mommy, I don't wanna" I wail terrified. "Come on Jae, we'll be free." My throat closes us filling with water. She pushes my head under. "NO"

I shoot up in my bed, alarm blaring. I look over and the clock reads 6:35 am. I sigh shaking off the memory. I reach over and turn of the annoying thing before my dad comes in to yell at me. I get out of my makeshift bed and head to the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead of me. After I finish getting dressed, I tip down the stairs as quietly as I can. I can't wake my dad up or I'll get beat for sure. I make breakfast and start my 30 minute walk to hell. I make it there early as I have to give everyone one their daily lunch money. It's not much, just $5 per person. There's only 12 people in my class. So that's $60 a day, $300 a week. It gets tiresome, but it's better then getting beat for not doing it.

I sit in the back of the classroom and heave out a sigh of relief. Sitting in the quiet was quite peaceful. That was until I heard Mark and his goons burst through the door. I immediately stood up to greet them. Of course, they ignored me. I sat back down and waited for the teacher to come in. I ended up falling asleep for a bit. I woke up startled after someone kicked my chair out from under me. "Next time maybe try leaving some more". I looked up and nodded at Sunghoon. "Okay, sorry". I lower my eyes until I hear the teacher come in. Mrs. Lee looks at me with pity. "I have great news everyone, we have five new transfer students. Why don't you introduce yourselves."

‘In the middle of the week, don't new kids normally join on Mondays, not Wednesdays'

She points at the five of them. "Hi, my name is Soobin, and this is Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai. But we just call him Kai!" I look at them in awe. They're all very tall and good looking. One of them in particular catches my eye. Yeonjun I think. He looks at me too.

I look away embarrassed. "You guys can sit in the back with Jae" she says a little to enthusiastically. I groan internally. There she goes trying to set me up again. Mrs. Lee has a thing for trying to help me out in the best way she thinks she can. Although her son is an asshole, she's quite nice. They make their way to the back of the classroom and sit with me.

"Hello, I’m Jae" I say as Soobin sits down beside me. “I know.” He smiles. I raise my eyebrow confused. “How do you know who I am?” I question. “Your uh, your tag says your name.” He points. Then he turns to his friends and whispers something. They gasp silently then look at me. One of them smiling and waving at me. I think his name is Beomgyu. They finish their discussion and Soobin turns back to me. “We should be friends.” I slightly shrug and say sure. I turn back to the lesson trying to avoid any further conversation. I’m sigh internally, I can't let them get to friendly, especially with the way Mark is glaring at me. Soobin pouts and focuses on class.

About 40 minutes later and it's the end of the period. I pack up my stuff quickly and head out of the classroom as fast as I can. Unfortunately, bumping into Mark in the process. He scoffs and tells me to meet him by the bathroom. I nod and run out of the classroom. I make my way to the bathroom.

‘Why are they taking so long'

My thoughts are interrupted though when I hear Mark say "Hey Jae, how do you feel about pancakes?" Then I felt an unhealthy amount of flour being poured on me. I look up and see Mark on the second floor laughing. Not long after that I feel eggs breaking against my clothing and skin. Mark then questions "Maple, or sugar free." Johnny besides him says "How about both!" Then, unfortunately for me. The sticky substance gets poured all over me. "Mmm delicious." I mumble sarcastically. "What was that" Mark furrows his brows. I go to repeat my wonderfully crafted sentence when I interrupted.

"Hey, what are you doing!" I look over and see that Yeonjun guy from earlier. "What are you doing here?!?" I ask confused. "I was passing when I saw you, what are you going here?" He questions just as confused "I was uh, just passing by" I smile. He shakes his head and whispers to me. "When I count to three we run, okay?" I nod.

"Okay, 1, 2, 3!" He grabs my hand and we run down the hall and to the locker room. I laugh a bit embarrassed. "Do you need a pair of clean clothes or a ride home?" I shake my head no. "Nah, I have clothes for situations like these." I point towards a locker. "I even have my own dedicated locker. He shakes his head in disbelief. "Does this happen often?" I shrug my shoulders "I guess, but I'm use to it." He huffs. How cute.

"What's your next class he questions." "Gym." I sigh annoyed. I hate gym, I always seem to get targeted in all of the games. He gasps, "Me too, let's go together!" I smile at this. "Okay, let me just get changed real quick." I point at the door. "Wait for me out there." He nods his head.

Yeonjun' s POV

That was crazy, why would they do that to him. "Wait for me out there" He points at the door. I nod and head towards the door, but I take one more glance at him. I notice more bruises and injuries as I'm walking out. "Come on, I'll show you the way." I nod and follow him. What I failed to mention though, was the fact that the late bell rang five minutes ago.

We make it there when we hear the teacher, "How nice of you to join us. Care to share the reason why?"  I look at Jae, he just shifts uncomfortably. So I step forward. "Uh yes, I was lost so I asked Jae to help me." He looks at me and asks my name. "It's Yeonjun sir, I'm new here." "I can see that, well since you want to show up late, you and Jae can be in the same team. We've already finished picking. Go join the other four newbies." He points to the other side of the gym. "Today we'll be playing dodgeball." He smirks. Well, this will be fun. I think to myself as I smile at Jae. Who must I mention, looks miserable. Go team, I guess.

(This is my first time trying to write, so I’m sorry for any misspelling or grammar mistakes)

[tussive]

Something stupid about me is I just kind of inherently respect people who have insane levels of dedications to things. I think probably because I've never been that dedicated to anything and I do envy it in a way.

But I'm reading this thread of Bluelight and I don't want to go into too much detail about the drug information/chemistry involved, because it's not really important, I do want to kind of explain because I think the level to which he's dedicating himself to achieve what he's achieving kind of helps make my point that I'm stupid, lmao. So in its pure HCl form, MDPV is a white powder. When it first came onto the RC, this is how it was available. At some point however someone came out with a tan MDPV, which produced significantly different effects. The white MDPV is prone to causing paranoia, hallucinations, is very tweaky and compulsive and has a terrible comedown. The tan MDPV is a smooth, euphoric ride that is apparently so hypersexual many people would refer to it as "perv powder." Nobody is actually sure what the difference is, however part of the process involves freebasing it. But that isn't the whole process, it is also necessary to leave the resulting oil in water for extended periods of time, during which people assume the MDPV degrades and some impurity results which is the actual source of the desired effects. This man is fucking dedicated to understanding how to produce the tan MDPV. He has done countless experiments on doing so and at one point details the various ways that he has been harmed even in doing these experiments.

"Now---- I haven't tasted this stuff. Over the past two years I have played with mdpv using ether, tuloene, xylene, baking soda, galacial acetate, vinegar, water, ethanol and dirt from my garden(the bacterial connection). I have precipitated, heated, frozen, incubated, dissolved, evaporated, combined and separated every possible combination of precipitate, solution and oil. In the process I have come up with substances that were less than enjoyable to ingest. I am my only test subject for these experiments. I temporarily blinded myself for three hours after drying and ingesting a brown goo that appeared after five days of incubating an odd gray precipitate after an ether/acetate experiment with pv. I once ended up with a dark brown substance that looked similar to the darker tan pv versions. It gave me an incapacitating headache that lasted 4 days. I had overheated the pv oil during precipitation and created something horrible. I got PV oil on my skin and didn't sleep for 72 hours, during which time hellish visual and auditory hallucinations had me locked in the bathroom where I hid in the bathtub for 30 hours. My first hit of the acetate salt that I created from the tan had me hallucinating again for a few days. I had not considered that the salt version of the tan freebase might have dosages measured in micrograms. I should have guessed from the huge residual slush left over from the Acetic Acid wash. But I didn't. I bumped 3 milligrams. 300 micrograms is a large dose.

What I'm saying is that my body is barely being held together, and what little cohesion is left is the result of vitamins and pure will power. So I just don't have the courage to go down the acetate road. The HCL road has used me up."

(He is essentially explaining that when converted into acetate salt of MDPV, the result is extremely promising for the desired effects, however he has had so many horrible side effects just from experimenting with the HCl he no longer has it in him to attempt new experiments with the acetate. That may be obvious from the quote but I feel like out of context it may not be entirely clear.)

Now, he's gone to such extreme efforts and put himself through so much suffering and for what? He only uses drugs to enhance sex. He's doing this just so he can fucking goon for hours and jack his stupid dick and it's all just kind of pathetic through that lens, raelly. In terms of motivations I have absolutely zero respect for him or his efforts.

But when I read that quote about the things he has put himself through to achieve his goals, I can't help but feel like he's kind of cool. Even though he very much is not.

[inkribbon796]

Egotober 2022 Day 19: Nature of a Deal

Summary: Janus and Marvin go to talk to Phantom, to make some kind of bargain.

Prompt: Wing/Wings

Characters: Marvin, Janus, Phantom

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Marvin looked at the nightclub: the Crossroads. It was a nightclub that was under the control of Phantom. Part time club owner, full time asshole. And the heroes had been having some problems with him. Mostly that Phantom had been sending his goons to pick fights with the Sides and any time Logan saw them it was always a fight.

So something had to be done because Phantom was fully entrenched in his night club and very rarely left it. So if the heroes were going to try to arrest a powerful demon it would be just as much of a struggle as if they tried to arrest Dark.

It made Marvin think that this was just how older, more experienced demons tended to behave. Get entrenched in an area and then bully people into doing their errands for them. Before Phantom had shown up the demons that Marvin had regularly interacted with typically averaged out at about sixty or so years. Anti being the 100+ year old outlier in the group and Dark well in his 300’s. Old in terms of humans but demons could survive and thrive for thousands of years unless they were killed by another demon. They were functionally immortal. And they chose to kill and maim with that instead of doing good with it.

So Marvin already knew he didn’t like Phantom, and he barely interacted with him because of Logan.

So he was walking into the club with Janus, because Logan hadn’t wanted Roman or Patton to go. And Logan couldn’t go because he was absolutely furious with Phantom’s existence. Marvin glanced at Jance.

“Kay, Dee,” Marvin said. “You don’t cross me, I don’t cross you.”

“If I let you die here, I would never hear the end of it, and Logic would dox me,” Janus said.

“He knows where you live?” Marvin asked as they passed through the door, the bouncers barely gave them a glance over with little more than a glance and a quick warning into his ear piece.

“He has mine and the Duke’s social security cards because the Duke cannot be trusted with them,” Janus said.

Marvin stared at this careered, pathological liar and was trying to figure out if he was actually serious or not. “Why not bring someone else? You seem to be on speaking terms with Dark these days.”

“If you like the Sides you will help me convince this cretin not to shoot them on sight,” Janus said.

“Yeah, but why am I here with you?” Marvin asked.

“Because you’re a pretty face,” Janus lied.

Marvin glared at him. “Careful two-face or I might take that personally.”

When they settled into a main dance area when a man in a vest came over to them. “Hello, you two, the boss would like to talk to you.”

“Perfect,” Janus glanced at his watch as if they’d already been there for hours.

They were led to a back room where there was a familiar perched on an outcropping on the wall, the demon that had summoned it was able to look through its eyes. The familiar was a vulture, a red-stained bearded vulture. It turned its head to stare at them before flying into the room it was waiting by. It looked like a normal side office from the outside but inside was a couple couches, a coffee table, a desk, and a full liquor bar.

The vulture flew back to its master. The magical construct, a large familiar that folded its wings as it perched on the back of the fancy couch and glanced between the newcomers, and its master.

Phantom fed it some magic and it seemed to settle down, preening its large wings.

“Well, well,” Phantom turned away from the winged beast to smile at them. “And here I was hoping I’d see the real deal tonight.”

“I can leave if you’re going to waste my time,” Janus said.

“Don’t let me keep you,” Phantom dared, making the two of them start and intense stare down.

Janus looked especially disgusted and Phantom just smiled.

“One of these days, I want you to actually bring Iridescence with you, I’d like to actually talk to him,” Phantom smiled.

“Well you talk to us, or we get some drinks and walk out,” Marvin said.

“Why don’t you calm down, kitten,” Phantom said, picking up a glass of scotch and watching as he idly swirled the ice around in the glass. “It’s all alright. We’re all friends here.”

Janus’s fingers itched to summon his staff, but he resisted the urge as he refused to take his eyes off Phantom.

“Nice bird,” Marvin tried to say.

“Yes, it’s been centuries since I had a proper companion again,” Phantom itched under the bird’s chin. “The last demon I was with didnt like my birds. He was more than a bit jealous of the attention, I think. But he was an empath, so that’s to be expected of them.”

Phantom was pointedly looking at Janus as he was talking. “Don’t you think so.”

“We’re here to talk about one, actually,” Janus said.

“And your boss didn’t think to come and talk to me himself?” Phantom said with a smug smile.

“He doesn’t go anywhere without one of the Core Sides to keep people from picking fights, and that means the Logic accompanies him.” Janus sighed, he cut off after that as if that explained everything.

However, Phantom was waiting for more.

So Marvin spoke up, not wanting to just be steamrolled in the conversation. “Bringing Logic would cause a fight and no one wants that.”

“Yes, a shame all the same,” Phantom smiled. “I can’t imagine what I would have done to upset that arm so much when the rest of you are all fine with me.”

“The issue is that Orange likes your arcade, and we want to make sure that you don’t kill him,” Marvin said.

Janus and Phantom were just staring at each other. The wings of his familiar poised to strike, clearly braced for a command. Janus tried to look as calm as possible while braced to defend himself.

“Hmmm.” Phantom sipped his drink as he took his sweet time thinking about it. “I want to formally meet your boss. Iridescence likes to stay down in his little area of Gainesville and I want to have a nice, formal chit chat with him. Bring however many of you want but I want to talk with him and exchange some drinks. And in exchange for the face-to-face meeting. Your little runaway arm can keep being nickel and dimed at my low end arcades.”

“It’s obviously a trap,” Marvin said.

“It’s good business,” Phantom corrected as his familiar nestled close to his head. “It’s not my fault that Ent has such bad manners.”

“And we can bring whoever we want?” Janus asked.

“Your boss and his arms,” Phantom corrected. “The rest of your friends you leave at the door.”

Marvin made some upset noise but Janus thought it over for a couple seconds.

“I’m sure that can be arranged, first week in November?” Janus said and Marvin stared at him.

“Are you mad?” Marvin demanded.

“Let the adults talk.” Phantom had a huge smile on his face. “First Friday?”

“We’ll have to get back to you on that,” Janus said and stood up. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, the meeting has to be arranged and I’m certain you have an evening of cheating and dealing to get back to.”

“Don’t let me keep you,” Phantom said.

Janus was quick to leave and Marvin followed after him to meet back up with Thomas and most of the Sides down in Gainesville. Janus already knew that Logan and Virgil weren’t going to be happy about the deal. That much was obvious, but there was little else that Janus could do about the situation. The only other option was let one of the Sides fend for themselves.

And Janus was many things, but he was not about to abandon Thomas or the other Sides if he could help it.

As they left, Phantom’s familiar flew after them, watching as they left his territory.

[athyathye]

Tokyorev! Characters with a Jabami Yumeko!Reader

(Ran, Rindou And Koko)

Warnings : Curse words, violence and a lot more

May contain potential manga spoilers!

And sorry in advance if rindou's or other character's were ooc

Tokyo revengers does not belong to me. All credits go to Ken wakui. And Homura Kawamoto for the character of Jabami Yumeko from Kakegurui

Let’s get this straight having a 300 million debt is not fun at all

RAN :

But for you, well-

“I simply can’t get enough of this feeling” you said while walking through the corridor of the school you attend

Shivers oh my gah- you psychopath honestly

Ran and Rindou were out collecting the piled up debt from your gambling-addicted schoolmates when they saw you and some other male companions who looked at you like they were going to use you as a slave

I mean that part was true in a sense^^

But who was he to interfere, he was only here to collect money from spoiled crazy rich kids turned poor

They were at the sides, hidden by big blue barrels that were probably filled with garbage

He looked towards his brother who was already looking at him, both having a conversation with their eyes. They decided to watch the occuring events as it looked interesting, at least to them.

“We have gone quite a distance. Well then what business might you have with me?” You spoke eloquently, not surprising for a rich brat Ran thought

“Take off your clothes, all of them” The leader of the group you came with commanded unashamedly

“The hell? They’re gonna do this here? in broad daylight?” He was quite surprised, so he decided to continue watching a bit to see what you would do and if he should help.

Because like, he may be a delinquent but he still got his morals. I mean you did look like one of those naive sheltered types

And also, he’s a big brother, he has to make an example for Rindou, especially when he was watching too am I right?

Speaking of Rindou, he was already glancing at his brother, trying to discern what he would do.

When you started taking off your coat, he was ready to either book it or help you

While you, were about to take off your stockings

“Oh were you perhaps, Hoping to have your way with me? You stopped taking off your bottom clothing. Before the assh*le replied with a disappointed voice “I didn’t say that did I? Hurry up and strip”

“Hmm I will have to refuse. I am not so inclined to reveal myself to a stranger, and you gentlemen” You crossed your fingers sporting that ever so present blush you had whenever things were getting interesting “are quite opposite to the men I like.”

Ran blinked at your statement, a small surprised look could be found, but only for a few seconds.

Before you all could even speak the leader threw the chair he was sitting on proceeding to grabbing your neck and slamming you to the wall present behind you.

“Have it your way then. I’ll do whatever I want with you just like you wanted.” The disgusting voice of his was heard by all of those present

“Oi” Rindou was the first to announce his presence.

He started walking towards where you were with the guy’s hand still grabbing on your neck.

But the two other idiots who came with the harasser blocked his path

“Not so fast” “Don’t go interrupting now” they both stated simultaneously

“Sit tight and enjoy the show” they chuckled like the disgusting pieces of trash they were.

“Hey, Just what do you think you’re you doing?” Ran eventually expressed his disdain to the group

“Who the hell are you” the leader of the goons spoke.

“Using force isn’t very nice” he spoke in a condescending tone, his gloved hand coming into contact with his hip before moving to his pocket where he drew out a gun.

“Forgive me for the unfairness. Well it’s fine, A tit for a tat right?” He pointed at the guy while the goons behind him looked to scared to move

Rindou didn’t think his brother would go this far though, he knew he had a gun but he never used it

“What are you babbling about?” The guy responded with a passive look on his face.

“Ha? Are you scared of getting shot? I’d take it on the spot if I were in your shoes after doing stupid sh*t like that” He coldly responded but with a smile still present on his face

“Taking the shot’s the only logical choice you have, you bast*rds” The grin was now wiped off, his body not showing the slightest bit of hesitance

The person who had a hold on you finally let his hand off your neck.

“What’s with you? Are you stupid? This is lame. Let’s go” He spoke, his back turning against your body, he looked like he wasn’t in fear

But the way he left so quickly showed that he was. His goons hurriedly went after him of course not without saying they too were bored of the scene

“Why are you leaving? Show me what you’re made off! Weren’t you all backed up!?” Rindou, who was looking for a fight, shouted after them, his tone obviously angry, before looking at your slightly disheveled appearance

“You know, you shouldn’t have gone with them in the first place.” Ran asked as he approached you, but still maintained space if ever you weren’t comfortable with him

“Thank you very much for helping me, I will never forget your kindness. As thanks, I will definitely return the favour in some form” you bowed at him

He was a bit taken aback from your reponse. You looked fine as if something traumatic didn’t happen to you.

Most people would thank him or cry or take a breather but here you were, doing fine like you didn’t even need his help from the beginning

He didn’t even know why he took such drastic measures to help you

“That’s fine I guess. But I don’t need nor want money doll” He responded coolly pocketing his gun back

“Then would you like a favour of some kind? Well, if you ever decide what I could repay you with, please feel free to contact me. It is truly not that hard to find me, especially for people similar to yourselves.” You smiled, your hands automatically folding across your front

“Oh? What do you mean by that doll? People like us?” He went closer to you and grabbed a hold of your locks

“Are you associating us with those people earlier?” he took offense to your words you thought

“Please do not misunderstand my words, I only spoke from what I judged earlier, I had thought that you were similar in terms of our student council, But am I wrong Haitani-san?”

A sort of subtle crazed look was plastered on your face. Ran and Rindou did not know how to take that

“Ah! Wait a minute, Can I see your gun? I’ve never touched nor held one before, This will be quite an experience for me! That is if you’d allow it of course” Your red eyes glowed, bad sign.

But our hero for the day, Ran could not take it anymore and burst out laughing

“HAHAHA! You- you’re definitely one of a kind aren’t ya? You definitely lost a few screws in there” He laughed from disbelief

Both of them could feel something about you. It was something big, they should feel threatened but you made it seem like you were harmless

“ehhh so I can’t? Well that’s too bad. Then Haitani-san may fate decide when we should meet again!” Your red glowing eyes, that were your most noticeable feature from afar stopped glowing

Picking up your items, you turned around once more

“ I am indebted to the Haitani-brothers, may there come a day that you experience a shade of obstruction please freely call for me and I will do my best to help you with the outmost of my abilities” You bowed once more before unbotheredly walking away. Your hips sashaying in a way that had Ran hypnotized for a moment

“What the f*ck just happened” Rindou who had experienced whiplash expressed his deepest confusion.

RINDOU :

Rindou was just chilling around a park, tired his affiliated gang activities that always seem to wore him out yet stimulate him at the same time when he saw a bright red uniform, well numerous uniforms

He felt like he should be alert of something. There was a smell of danger in the air, and his senses were never wrong.

4 girls in total, he counted. It looked like one person was being picked on, but hey he wasn’t a hero. There was no obligation for him to save you

That’s why he decided to turn a blind eye, at least for now.

Not long after he saw you kneel down

He could now hear what you were saying as you were basically shouting.

“Meow meow~ I’m a gambling addicted cat meow! I carelessly challenged someone from the student council and racked up a 300 million debt meow~” You positioned yourself in all fours.

“300 million-“ Rindou choked on air once he heard that, just who was idiotic enough to bet that much money

“How will I ever get my money back meoow!” With your right hand acting as a paw you braing it closer to your face then continued “I want to gamble more and more meow~ I wonder if anyone would be my patron meow!”

It doesn’t take a genius to know that you were partly crazy

Rindou felt goosebumps on his body from seeing the way you looked very psychotic at the moment.

He was not the only one to feel this way as the other girls who were in front of you all collectively stuttered

“W-what’s wrong with her” “S-she’s messed up” “L-let’s get out of here”

He couldn’t blame them, he was pretty sure there was no one who wanted to deal with a psychotic human like you

“Ahh~ what’s this” He heard you say

You clutched your hands in front of your chest “I think something thrilling is about to happen~”

When I say he felt shivers when he heard you say that, HE FELT SHIVERS

He felt like bugs were crawling on to his body

He was about to turn around when he felt someone clutch onto his forearm

“Holy sh*t” he cursed in his mind after flinching

He felt your chest touch his hands and for a teenager like himself, he was undoubtedly flustered, more so when he took a good look at your appearance

“W-Wha-“ He was cut off by a low whistle behind him

“Double sh*t” He cursed once more. He knew who was behind him, he could tell just from the sound of the footsteps

Not long after he could see his older brother’s face at his side, sporting an annoying grin he wished he could just punch off

“What’s this Rin? Scored yourself a bae? Without even calling your elder brother?How disappointing little brother” he teased before looking at the girl who was currently had a tight grip on his brother’s arm

“Hmm? And who might you be little miss?” He looked at you, Staring at your form a little too intently, he could never be too sure anyways you might be a bait of some sort

“Oh! I’m Yumeko Jabami! From Hyakkaou Private Academy!” You excitedly said leaning closer to the poor boy you had clung too

Ran could see the steam coming out from his younger brother, and the look you had which seemed harmless, but he was having too much fun seeing Rindou like this to actually judge your purpose

“Hah? You an elite huh? Are you going on a date with my younger brother?” He asked, his eyes that usually held nothing in them had little twinkle, probably from curiosity or just enjoyment.

“Date??? Ah! I would love too, would you Rin-san? Is that your name?” He could feel your chest. It was probably not long before he blew a fuse now

“I- i- y-yo” Seeing Rindou malfunction like this, he laughed loud and hard for the first time in a long while

For such a stoic man this behavior was extremely surprising.

“Hm? Is that a yes? I’m so happy! Let’s enjoy this to the fullest!” The way your sparkling eyes and soft-red cheeks were gazing at him with such sincere expressions made Rindou jolt once more

He could hear his brother’s laughter in the background, but he did not acknowledge it as he was focused on you

He took deep baited breaths to maybe calm himself down but it made his flusteredness grow further for the reason that he could smell you, your shampoo or was that your perfume? Perhaps your fabric softener? Whatever it was Rindou could get addicted to it no problem.

His brother, who was too busy clutching his hurting stomach from that much laughter, wiped the tears away from his eyes as he spoke

“H-ha, ha well I guess you won’t need me anymore huh? Rin?” He looked at his younger brother’s begging eyes and ascended to laughter once more

He took his flip phone out to capture this moment, you had seen this and immediately struck a V pose with closed eye smile

All Ran could take was blurry pictures of you guys as Rin who still had his pride, looked to the side with his other hand blocking his face

Honestly, The way Ran was laughing made Rin hate his older brother 100 times more and you to curiously ask if his stomach hurt from that amount of laughter to which he just shook his head, still chuckling.

Once Ran had left, and a few minutes has passed he looked to the side

Where he saw you looking up at him with big doe-eyes, which of course made him look to the side once more

“J-just what do you want? I’m pretty sure this is the first time we met” His cheeks still had a pink tint to it

He looked adorable and you just wanted to eat him up honestly

“Ah~ well you saw me earlier didn’t you? Were you perhaps thinking I was strange? Those thoughts came to my mind. I do not want others to see me in a bad light, especially strangers, so I wished to create a better first impression with you” you puffed your cheeks in a pout

Rindou, who felt another heart attack coming, Just nodded his head. Not trusting his voice

But even through the questionable encounter, he couldn’t help but feel drawn to you.

He was curious, about you, about your life as a probably wealthy individual, and most of all that “house pet” necklace you wore

“We still have to go on a date the young man from earlier said! Where will we go Rin-san? Can I call you that?” You leaned. closer, your face almost nearing his

“I-i-i-i-“

PLOP

“huh?”

You definitely broke him lmao, good luck explaining that to Older Brother Ran.

KOKONOI :

For the famous delinquent with adequate economic skills, it is no surprise you could find him gambling

His gang had been low on cash, more so Kis*ki had came to him for help in earning cash

He thought this was a good opportunity to have a mastermind on his side, so he agreed but of course with kis*ki giving him benefits

He wasn’t surprised when the guy who must not be mentioned was pretty good for a first timer, with his brain and all

He was actually getting a bit too cocky for his own good betting thousands of yen like that

But he was only here to escort him, and besides if he ever did get knocked down, poor him but that would be a pretty great sight for Koko

And now here he was, gambling with private school kids, he had gained a pretty decent amount, but compared to who he was escorting well-

He wasn’t felling too bad about it, honestly he knew by the end of the night he’d be crying from loss after he was snapped back to his senses

Besides his methods were anything but just. He could tell his companion was cheating, almost everybody did, they just couldn’t tell how

He could see kis*aki’s eyes becoming greedier and greedier by the minute, it probably wasn’t long now before he bet all the money he had gained

True to his thoughts, he could hear whispering from the students

“Ain’t that the new kid?” “is she gonna challenge that guy? What an idiot”

He could hear all hushed whispers from where he stood

He watched as a long-haired well-endowed pretty girl came and pretty much did what others thought.

“Kis*ki-san! What an opportunity! You’re pretty famous right now in our school for being a great gambler!” You started, with a smile.

From the way you talked and held yourself, your opponent knew you were a rich girl, and how he loved taking daddy’ money from girls like you

“Yeah? Well then how about you play a game with me…miss?” He was straight to the point, not bothering to cut corners like you did

“Ah! Thank you for the invitation! My name is Jabami Y/n! Pleased to meet you~” You said in such a happy tone that others had to question whether it was genuine or fake

You took a seat in front of him and looked around, it looked childish to others but to Kokonoi it filled him with curiosity.

What was a little lamb like you doing here?

“what game should we play?” Your sweetly-addicting voice cut through the dull silence

“ How about voting rock paper scissors? It’s an original game I made up” He said with a smile that made Kokonoi almost retch

The tan-skinned male explained the rules and everything else to you as everybody watched with interest once you started

So far, after a few games everything was going smooth for the said male, he was almost too happy from ripping you off like this

Kokonoi felt a bit bad for you, you looked like a genuine good girl, but here you were getting dragged around by others like himself

He was curious as to why you asked for another game when you were in a losing streak but what happened next made other tremble in shock

“What’s your bet?” Your opponent asked, ready to destroy your life and more

“What a fool, she’s digging her own grave” He thought, and couldn’t help but smile

You took your bag, flipped it and out came-

“How about 10,000,000 million yen?” You said, still with that soft tone

Everybody was still, too speechless to move. Kis*ki had to real back from shock

Even koko had to calm his erratic heartbeat

“What’s your deal? There’s no way you’d bet that much on a single RPS game.” Your opponent gazed at you, in doubt of your actions and highly cautious.

“You, you’re definitely crazy.” He continued, staring wide eyed at the stacks of cash you brought.

Everyone could see yours eyes turning red, redder than earlier, a complete opposite from the innocent charm you had earlier

“But isn’t that what makes it fun?” You finally spoke which definitely confirmed just how screw-loose you were.

“Madness is at the heart of all gambling, No one in their right mind would trust their entire fortune to the roll of a dice” Your eyes were a dangerous shade of red one that made the all rational kis*ki almost give in

“….and yet they love it. People still throng to casinos because they derive such pleasure from risking their very lives” If you looked into the opposing player’s eyes, all you could see was the figure of the person right in front of him

“So I suppose, the more crazier you are, The more you love to gamble!” You almost shouted, the tip of your words creating a deranged ambience.

Kokonoi didn’t know what to feel, joy from seeing the ever so cocky kis*ki tremble or fear your existence that was the center of attention right at this very moment

He should be wringing his hands in agitation right now. He was the one had brought in the familiar tanned boy and shared a whooping 25% of the money he won all because he introduced him. He should feel the brisky feeling of trepidation that comes with your gaze

But alas, all he felt was respect and curiosity. You were the same, you both were birds of the same feather

At least he thought so.

“NOW LET’S LOSE OURSELVES IN GAMBLING” Your voice overpowered even in the voices outside of the facility

Your opponent could feel himself gulping in fright from your loud voice. His pupils were shaking, his hands was trembling.

“Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet?” Kis*ki felt threatened, by your words, by the way you were staring at him.

While Kokonoi now perceived a sense of thrill. He was certainly having fun now. He hid a smile

The game continued, You chuckled, it seemed more demonic now.

“High stake games are so exciting right?

Kis*ki had to take another breath to calm himself down

“But you know, you did a terrible way to hide your trickery. If you aren’t prepared to take a loss you won’t be fooling anybody” You challenged him. You crossed your legs as you leaned on your hand that was folded on the table.

Everybody’s breath hitched, you figured him out, you figured them out.

“Stop the f*cking slander and just play, unless you’ve got the proof.” Kis*ki managed to spew without stuttering but the cold sweat dripping down his face was enough said.

The game continued until…

“N-no way. You’re joking-“ The card fell from his grasp.

He was tearing up from disbelief, the sudenness of the situation and the loud background sounds people were making didn’t help calm him down.

All he could hear was his thoughts and the ringing of his ears

He looked at you, only to see yourself gazing at him in such a predatory way with those red glowing eyes piercing through his very soul

He looked away, only to see you once more on his side

“You are able to pay right?” F*ck just hearing you know makes his body stiff

“I-cant-“ He finally stuttered “I’m sorry?” Looking at him from that angle, it made even Kokonoi feel fear

Your opponent felt tears welling up and rolling down his face, this was real, he lost every single yen he earned and far more.

Kokonoi couldn’t even feel the tip of his fingers from the tremor he experienced and from seeing the mighty Kis*ki, who had the will to kill people bow his head on the table

“I-i dont have that kind of money right now, Could I possibly trouble you to postpone the payment?” He croaked out, everybody in the room could see the continuous flow of tears that was falling from him.

You smiled, but the loser couldn’t see that, you took your belongings and left without another word

Seizing the chance, Kokonoi forced his leg to move, catching up to you in breathless form

“H-hey I-im Hajime Kokonoi” what the hell kinda introduction was that, he was beating himself up in his own mind

“I know you! You’re that one delinquent who was great at making money, nice to meet you” Your starstruck face that he couldn’t tell whether fake or not was a sight to remember.

"Maybe it’s time to move on from ka…na…" Hethought but couldn’t finish his sentence because you were walking near him

You took one more step closer and smiled.

"Nice to meet you! Koko-san"

[butwhyduh]

Last night thing

Jason todd x reader

Summary: he stopped you from stealing a $25,000 watch but missed something else. Part 2 to Late night Thing.

Warning: kidnap, fighting, smut

As Jason pulled up his pants and contemplated his life choices of sleeping with a beautiful thief on a rooftop, he came to a conclusion. You stole his damn tie clip. He had said that he would break your hand if you tried to steal it and dammit, you had. Somehow it simultaneously made him mad and horny. How the fuck had you managed that?

Jason knew that he wouldn’t find you that night. So he went back to his safe house to lick his wounded pride and plan his next move. He needed to get that clip back. It was a gift from Alfred and he would literally kill for it. Though he seriously doubted that he’d need to do that. And Jason would never admit it but he didn’t want to kill you.

He planned to find you sometime during the next week. His tie clip was expensive but not extraordinarily expensive but you had to find someway to sell it without him finding it, which would take time. Jason just didn’t know that it would be the next day that he would find you.

He heard that Bane was throwing his weight around in the drug trade for some damn reason. Wasn’t his venom addition enough for one man? So Jason was snooping around, or investigating as the bats liked to say. He fully expected a boring night of listening in a warehouse for hours and learning very little but instead almost fell through the glass at the sight before him.

You were strapped to a chair with rope. The pretty dress you wore the night before was in tatters but you were covered. Your eyes were red and your nose had dried blood underneath it. You were shivering like a leaf.

“I’m not here to negotiate with you. I’m here for Cat Woman. You are her child and she will come or you will die,” Bane said casually. You gasped.

“She’s going to be mad. Why would she work with you after this?” You asked, braver than you felt. He turned and coldly looked at you before stalking over. His giant fingers wrapped around your throat and you thrashed in the chair.

Jason stood up and moved to jump into the fight despite the fact that he really didn’t want to fight the brute. But Bane let you go and you audibly gasped and sucked air through open lips. You trembled and heaved.

“If she does not care about you, I will move on to her next kitten,” he said and you gulped. You didn’t know if she would save you. Jason looked through the room for a strategy. 2 exits and the skylight he currently looked through. 3 goons that he could easily take out. Oh, and a 300 pound juiced up super soldier. That broke Batman’s back years ago. Fuck.

“Let me go and I’ll do anything you want,” you said and even Jason up high in the rafters could hear the waver in your voice. Bane turned and stared at you and your mind almost couldn’t comprehend the massive size of him. He was easily half a foot taller than Red Hood and almost 100 pounds heavily and Red Hood towered over you.

“What could I possible want from you,” he asked with an icy curiosity. He was watching you for a reaction. You wanted to shrink away but that would be a failure.

“Anything you could want. Information,” you suggested. “About Gotham.”

“I have my sources.”

“Uhhh,” you breathed. “Gems? Money?” He shook his head. Your heart hammered in your chest. He was a man, right? You could sell that maybe? “Me?” You breathed.

He laughed before looking you up and down. “I do not want you carnally, child,” he said. You almost sagged in relief and Jason’s hand released the gun he didn’t know he was holding. “No. We will wait for Cat Woman and if she doesn’t come in 2 days, you are dead.”

You hummed in fear. Bane sat crossed legged and closed his eyes. He threatened to kill you and then fucking meditated. You helplessly pulled at the ropes on your wrists.

Jason tried to piece together how you got there and how to get you out. He knew that he couldn’t exactly call Bruce. ‘Hey dad, do you want to fight the guy who broke your back over a thief he has tied up. Why? I don’t know! I just like fucking her on rooftops!’ Never saying that.

Nope. Instead he would attempt stealth. Against one of the best trained fighters in the world for a woman that robbed him. Yea, maybe Jason should have stayed 6 feet under because he’s a fucking idiot. He sighed before slowly moving towards them. Bane was sitting cross legged with his eyes closed in a meditation back to you.

You suddenly saw Jason out the corner of your eyes and your eyes widened before going back to normal. Bane didn’t seem to notice the slight change in your breathing. Jason snuck over to untie you. He slowly pulled the rope from around your wrists and you were almost completely untied when the end of the rope barely grazed the ground.

Bane snapped his head around as Jason drew his guns. You gasped as Bane launched himself towards Jason. You ripped your hand out of the rope as bullets flew. You scrambled to the floor but was quickly pulled up by the giant man. He clutched you by the shoulder and you whimpered in pain. Jason suddenly froze.

“This is far more interesting that I first thought. I looked for a cat and found a bat,” he laughed. You squirmed in pain. He sat you down but the hand stayed on your shoulder.

“She’s not important. Let her go,” Jason said. The metallic voice from his helmet sounded bored.

“If she is unimportant, she is better off dead,” he said roughly pulling you in his arms and one hand gently wrapped around your throat but didn’t tighten it. You grabbed at his fingers and sobbed pathetically. Your eyes were wide and terror was plain on your face.

“Let’s not. Put the lady down and we can talk,” Jason said and it was weird to see Red Hood negotiating. He was usually the muscle in the situation. It really showed you how fucked you really were.

“Okay I’m intrigued. I will hear your proposal,” he said sitting you down. You scampered behind Jason. Your whole body trembled.

“I know Gotham underground better than you ever will. Sorry but you’re scary as shit but not in a good way,” he said with a shrug. If you didn’t know any better, he seemed casual. “I can get you the venom you need. No cost for a while.”

“How long,” Bane asked. He was the kind so get all the facts before proceeding. He also had the weakness of being completely addicted to venom.

“A months worth.”

“6 months.”

“3 months.”

“Deal. If you break this deal I will crush her windpipe with my hand,” he said with no emotion. It was a promise, not a threat. Jason felt you move closer to him.

“Deal,” Jason agreed. Bane moved closer and you clung to Jason. You were clinging to Red Hood. How pathetic. Jason stood taller and stared at Bane. They shook hands.

Suddenly Bane slapped Jason violently across the face and you yelped. Jason went to the ground but quickly got up to a defensive crouch. You jumped in front of him with your heart beating so fast you would soon faint.

“For invading my space and my business,” Bane said before walking away. “Leave.” He didn’t turn to watch.

You noticed a little crack in the Red Hood helmet. How hard did Bane hit him? Jason stood up and pulled you out of the warehouse with him. He quickly grabbed you and shot his grappling hook out of the area. About half a mile away, he landed on a building. You clung to him and trembled.

“Hey, you’re safe,” he said. “You can let go.”

You pulled off but shivered like a leaf.

“Shit, you’re cold. Here. Here,” he wrapped his jacket around you and it helped your temperature but not your shivering. “Come here,” he pulled you in his arms and you clung. His heartbeat felt reassuring and he awkwardly patted your hair. You could tell Jason wasn’t used to providing comfort.

“He- he,” you started but stopped. “Can we go somewhere safe?”

“Come on downstairs. This is my place,” he said and you nodded. You followed him inside and it was far warmer but you couldn’t stop the shaking. His jacket was replaced by a blanket and Jason sat you on the couch. The helmet came off but domino stayed on. You practically climbed on his lap to be closer. Your eyes were still wide with horror.

You’d been arrested, harassed, even shot at. But never kidnapped like that. And by the giant Bane at that. Jason could feel the fear and adrenaline coming off of you. He rubbed your back softly. You looked up at him suddenly after a few minutes.

“You saved my life. You put yours in danger to save mine,” you breathed. He shrugged, a little uncomfortable under your gaze. “Thank you,” you added.

“Uh you’re welcome. It’s no biggie.”

“Yes it is,” you said before kissing him. Your pace was dizzying and rough. Jason was in shock at first. Your hands roamed his body before dropped down to his belt and he almost jolted up.

“Not today,” he said, stopping your hand. “I mean, normally I’d love to but not now. Give it a few days.”

“Why?” You said with your voice all breathy. Your lips were swollen and eyes dark and he almost gave in.

“You were just kidnapped. You need sleep. Not sex,” he said sliding away from you. “Are you hungry?”

“Wh- you don’t think I could want you?”

“I’m not in the mood. Almost getting killed by Bane really kills the urge,” he lied. If he thought you were in your right mind, he would have fucked you on the rooftop or against the first surface he found. You jumped in front of Bane for him. He found it all incredibly hot. “You need a shower anyways.”

It was cold and cruel but better than sleeping with a traumatized woman. You shook and nodded before using his shower. Jason felt twinges of guilt but ignored them. He knew it was better this way.

You came in nothing but his t shirt that hung like a dress. “Nothing else fit,” you said awkwardly. He could see the scars that covered your legs and bruises around your throat.

“We can lay in bed,” Jason said just as awkwardly. He might know what to do with a woman who wants to fuck him but not just one sleeping over. “For sleeping.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t try anything,” you said with a little smile and he smiled back. You both laid in the bed and it wasn’t long until you pressed your back against his chest and pulled his arms around you. He was strong and safe. You managed to sleep all night with the anticipated nightmares. They had time later to come up. When you weren’t cradled in his arms.

The next morning you woke up warm. The rise and fall of his chest was comforting. His hand held your waist loosely and you could seriously just stay in this moment. But as soon as you moved, you almost giggled like a teenager. He was hard and pressed against your ass.

“Ignore that,” he mumbled.

“Okay... how?” You said after a few seconds. “Because it’s pretty unforgettable for the man I like to sleep with to have his hard dick pressed against my ass. Have to say.”

“We only did it once in a rooftop. Was it that unforgettable?” He said and you could hear the smirk he wore.

“It was alright,” you said playfully but you couldn’t help but press back into him. Jason grabbed your hip to stop you.

“Trying to get me horny?”

“I think you already are.”

“That’s true,” he said before grinding against your ass. You pushed back to do your own rubbing. “And you’re not even wearing any panties,” he said bunching up the fabric of his shirt you wore. He slapped your ass soundly and you gasped.

“What was that for?”

“My tie clip. I hope you still have it,” he said before slapping your ass again. You reached behind you to grasp his cock through his sweatpants.

“I’ll get it back to you,” you said. His pants were pushed down. Jason hummed and rubbed his dick between your thighs. You sighed at the sensation and arched your back so he was sliding between your folds instead.

“You’d better,” he growled but it had no true heat. Not when he was so close to finally fucking you and had his lips leaving little marks on your shoulder and neck. You tried to press back onto him but he stopped your hips.

“Do you deserve it,” he asked running a finger along your hip, every once in a while dipping between your thighs to barely touch your clit. You jumped and grabbed at his wrist to hold him there but he just chuckled and moved away from where you needed him. His thrusting between your folds felt amazing but not enough and he was purposefully avoiding sliding in your hole. Jason quite liked the way your body panted and curved in desperation.

Finally feeling that you had been tortured enough, and he wanted in your wet heat, he pressed his hips forward and filled you. You whimpered and leaned your head back against him.

“Yes,” you breathed. Jason took his time slowly thrusting, letting you fill his full length. His free hand moved from pinching your nipple to circling your clit. You were practically clenching him from the start and he loved it. You were so receptive.

It didn’t take long for him to find a pattern that just got you a little more vocal and focused on that. “God, you’re fucking wet,” he breathed in your ear and you whimpered. You seemed to like what he had to say.

“Taking me so well. Acting like such a good girl,” he said and you breathed out a “Hood” in response. Oh yeah, you didn’t even know the name of the man that you let fuck you. You trusted him enough to sleep in his bed and you’d never even seen his eyes.

His finger circling your clit and cock angled to drag along your g spot had you seeing stars as you came around him. Jason grunted and held your hips tight before quickly pulling out to cum on your ass. He looked as the pretty white beads covered your skin. He wasn’t forgetting that image any time soon. He reached for a towel to clean you up.

Afterwards you turned in his arms and kissed him soundly before lying your head on his chest. You reached up to play with his hair with a little smile on your face. Jason could get used to this. As soon as he thought it, he had the urge to jump up and kick you out. He didn’t do permanent. You were just having fun.

“I need a shower,” he said roughly, getting up. Jason couldn’t help but notice the disappointment on your face that you quickly hid.

“I should get going before my walk of shame gets any later,” you said with an awkward laugh.

“Borough anything you need,” he said before disappearing into his bathroom. While in the shower he had time to think. Yeah, I’m totally not broken to be cool with fucking a woman but not being able to hold her. Not a sign of being fucked up at all, Jason thought. Probably got that from Bruce. Though my real dad probably did it too.

He came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and immediately saw a note on the bed.

Had fun, Hood. We should do it again sometimes, (your number)

💕 Kitten

His tie clip was set underneath it. Jason smiled. Okay, this could be fun. He was young and sowing wild oats or whatever, right?

There was no way this could go wrong, right?

[yourheartonfire]

Hiii! I was wondering if you could do a story where a villain captured the hero but through the entire process on questioning the villain is amused and nonchalantly drinking tea from a fancy China teacup in his outside gardens while the hero is all battered and bruised and there's alot of tension between the two? No pressure though! I love your stories. Have a lovely day✨

I... wrote this whole f/f thing and only then noticed you said 'his' for the villain. 😕 So I think I'm doing this one twice, but anyway here's go number 1:

"My, my, my," the villain hummed as she put down her tea cup with a little tink and a smile for the battered figure in black dragged before her. It was barely dawn but she looked fresh as deadly nightshade, with a bevy of attendants and assistants who didn't blink an eye as the hero was shoved down to her knees in their midst. "This is the little vigilante who's caused me so much trouble?"

The hero gritted their teeth and said nothing. There was very little else she could do in way of defiance. A different hero, a better hero, would have a quip, or a snide jab, or an actual plan to escape. All the hero had was a splitting headache, bone-deep exhaustion, and fear. 

Of course she'd known there was a chance it all might end like this, in failure and pain. But knowing something was very different than living it. And the hero couldn't stop her gaze from darting nervously to the walls of this penthouse terrace garden, the green flowering vines tumbling delicately over the 30 story drop to the streets below. When the hero turned back, the villain's eyes were sharp and bright, and she had no doubt the villain had clocked her reaction.

"Cat got your tongue, dear?" the villain said with a tilt of her head. "I hope my boys didn't do too much damage. Though I have to say, roughed up is a good look on you. Not many ladies can really pull it off. What's your name?"

The hero breathed through their nose - broken? it felt broken - and glared. 

The villain shrugged. "I guess she won't talk," she announced to her own paperwork, going back to her stack of paperwork. "Toss her over."

"No!" the hero yelped as the goons lifted her by bound arms as if she weighed nothing at all, dragging her to that 300 foot drop. "No, wait! It's Io! I'm Io."

The villain raised an eyebrow. "Io?" But still, she gave a wave of her hand and the hero was dropped back down onto her own two trembling legs. "Sit her down. The rest of you may go," the villain said.

There was a mass shuffling and exodus as the assistants and guards and household staff gathered their notebooks and trays and laptops and streamed away. Someone shoved the hero into ironwork chair and in a rattle of chain affixed her to the cold, wet metal. In a few seconds the hero and villain were alone.

"There now," the villain said, checking her oversized mobile one last time before tucking it away and turning her full, brilliant attention on the hero. "Just us girls."

The hero blinked. "That's... that's not what this is about, is it? We gonna have some hashtag girlboss bonding time?"

The villain chuckled. "Not exactly. Though I will admit, I was intrigued when my boys first reported getting their asses kicked by a girl. You must be thirsty."

She rose to her feet in a smooth movement, refilling her own teacup from the matching pot on the table. The hero sucked in a breath as she realized the villain's intent but dammit, she was thirsty. No point suffering for pride. So when the villain raised the cup to hero's lips, the hero put their mouth over the pale pink lipstick stains and drank. The villain beamed like a proud mother.

"There's so few women in our line of business, on either side," she murmured, wiping away a few stray drops with her thumb. Her hand was very soft, lingering gently under the hero's chin. "And fewer still without some kind of power to level the playing field a bit. Do you have a power, Io?"

"Just rage and spite," the hero snapped, jerking away.

The villain gave a full throated laugh and, almost as an afterthought, backhanded the hero. Hard. The hero reeled. It wasn't the hardest blow she'd taken in the last 24 hours, but for some reason her head was spinning.

"Not that I don't have mad respect for rage and spite," the villain said cheerily. She grabbed the hero's chin, lifted her face again with considerably less gentleness. "Rage and spite got me here. But let's not forget where you are, Io, and exactly what position you are in. Is that your real name?"

"No," the hero whispered. "I mean..." She swallowed. Her mouth felt even drier and the taste of the tea sat bitterly on the back of her throat. "What- what was in the teapot?"

"Quick on the uptake," the villain crooned. "But not quite quick enough. Tell me, do you hide your identity to protect your loved ones from me?"

"Yes. Shit!" The hero strained with all their might against the ropes pinning their arms back, the chain holding them to the chair. It felt like trying to swim through pudding, like trying to punch cotton candy. "I've changed my mind," she gasped. "I'd like to be thrown off the roof."

The villain watched the hero's futile struggle with a fascinated, hungry smile. "Now, now," she said, stroking her hand across the hero's hair. "You can drop the fighter act, dear. I know what you must be feeling. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I've put in a lot of effort to run you to ground, and you did so well against such impossible odds. You can let go now. There's no one here but me to see what happens next."

The hero made a choked noise of horror. "What happens next? What do you want from me?"

The villain put down the teacup on the ground, fishing something out of her pocket. Brass knuckles. "Answers, dear," she said, sliding the metal over her fist. "And I'm going to have so much fun getting them out of you."

In the end, the hero told her everything.

[pyraffin-drgo]

All Heavy interactions in Poker Night at the Inventory.

For you to interpret however you wish.

Video Version

(They have [bootleg movies] in your country?) "I like movies, yes." (Yeah, like what? [Lists movies]?) "No. My favorite are The Dirty Dozen and the first twenty minutes of Rocky four."

(We can talk Tetris?) "Hmmph. Tetris is baby game." (Tetris Attack keeps it hood!) "Why does everybody think I love this Tetris? It is just stacking!"

"[To Strongbad] Tiny Heavy." (What is it?) "Do you get the nightmares?" (I get the jibblie nightmares. [Describes silly nightmare, shivers].) "I am talking about the visions of endless suffering. Dead doctors everywhere. Spy can not be found. (No, but that sounds like the Jibblies.) "I do not like these 'jibblies.'"

"Strong and bad. How is boxing career?" (These. Are. My. HANDS!) "I was boxer, once. In school. We have to either box or learn to herd goats." Silence, looking concerned. "I am not good with goats..." (Too much information, man.) "At first, I do not like punching other boys... But then I learn to love it." Punches his palm menacingly.

(Find any rare drops lately?) "I do not understand." (When you get a kill, you get a present?) "When I get kill, I get honor of team." Smile drops. "Sometimes... I also get nightmares. A man does not go home to his wife and children." (So, no loot?) "Oh! You mean hat! Yes, I love hats! Sometimes, I get these. They are the best."

(Hey, Heavy. You know any hot Russian spies?) "I hate spies." (But you gotta have the inside line on some deadly minxes.) "You want hot spy?" (Am I not wrestle man?) "I have friend who gets you a hot spy. (Get em on the two-way, man!) "His name is Pyro." (Tycho, to Strongbad: The spy is hot because it is on fire.) (Oh...)

"[To Tycho] What do you do with life?" (Me?) "Yes. What is possible with tiny, frail body?" (I occupy myself with simulations... of various kinds.) "What is these?" (Struggles to explain.) (Strongbad: He lives in his parent's basement.)

(So, is there a Mrs. Weapons Guy?) "No. Sasha is my only love." (Sasha kills people, I presume?) "No." (Oh?) "WE kill people."

"[To Strongbad] Maybe you and I box?" (I can't risk my beautiful face, it's the franchise.) "We spar. For fun." (I don't think so.)

"Strong and bad. You wrestle? With mask?" (No, I'm a wrestle man, not those hack wrestle-LERS.) "Not like Iron Sheik?" (No, Iron Stake is a LER.) Heavy nods. "Hmm. This is too bad."

(So how long you been with those Team Fortress fellas?) "I do not understand." (The game's been on Steam for like 3 years. I imagine there was some audition process?) "Ohhh! Yes, I understand! I kill many men VERY quickly." (Excuse me?) "I kill record number of soldiers, and I am commissioned to join RED team."

(Mr. Weapons. I am in the market for a new firearm. [Specifications].) "Hmm, for you I do not recommend minigun then. You know, there is this fast baby man that annoys me greatly with shotgun." (Oh! Oh! What are the available options? I'll spring for leather!) "Da, this is good for you. I suggest Force-A-Nature." (I'll tell them [shop owner] Heavy Weapons Guy sent me.) "It is no need. I know guy."

"I will make hat from you, little bunny." No reply from anyone. A reference for the player to the Max hat in TF2.

"You look familiar, bunny." (How closely do you follow the Manhattan Crime Blotter?) Also a reference to the hat, Tycho then takes over conversation.

(If I need someone snuffed out, what's your going rate?) "Five hundred thousand U.S. dollars." (Steep.) "Cash." (You can do it discreetly?) "Sasha... not so discreet." (That's fine.)

(How did you guys hear of the inventory?) "My engineering friend brought me one night."

(This reminds me of the time Artie Flopshark rigged an entire poker tournament to pay off his loan shark.) "I know of this. This is respectable profession in motherland." Conversation is stolen by Tycho.

(This reminds me of [story]!) "I am reminded of time Engineer kill my entire team." (Damn Heavy, that's... heavy. Sorry to hear that.) "I search entire base for him. He tries to kill me with turret and mini turret, but I crush his toys like they are made of paper." (Sounds like crappy toys.) "Then I find him. Hiding by teleporter. I take his gun away from him. He tries to hit me with wrench! Hahohoh! So I take wrench away from him. I take his wrench and shove it down his throat, all the way down to the handle." (Christ!) Heavy laughs. "Then I rip off all his fingers one by one!" He talks while laughing. "Lets see you build toys now!" He breaks out in laughter. "There's blood- everywhere! And- he's crying!" More laughter. "I think he cries out for mother, but- but-" Crumples over laughing. "The wrench is stuck in his throat! And it sounds like-" Makes choking motions and noises then laughs. "Is this not the funniest thing??" (Horrified looks) (Head shakes slowly.) (That's some bleeped up bleep, man!)

(How about you, Heavy weapons? I'm guessing you're a vodka guy?) "Peach Bellini. But bubbles can give me headache."

(Mr. Weapons, how do you like your line of work?) "It is good. There are many benefits." (Oh! Like a free pass to snuff out bad guys or a waffle bar?) "Both. And full dental."

(I wonder if this dump is haunted.) (I hope so! Roughing up who can't die is fun!) "...I do not like ghosts..." (It's okay, Mr. Weapons. I have [extensive experience]. I can handle a few ghosts.) "...You will take care of ghosts for me?" (You bet cha!) Heavy nods at him. "I like you, tiny rabbit."

[Story including a union] "I am union. RED local six fifteen." (You guys unionized?) "Eh. It was necessity for group medical."

"Tycho. This sweater, is special equipment?" (No, standard issue.) "You have no class specific head gear?" (Got a motorcycle helmet that protects from 100% of UV rays.) "This sounds beneficial."

(Why do you keep calling me 'Tiny Heavy'?) "You are Heavy. Tiny. No? You are RED team. You have killing gloves of boxing. You earn these for being great killer! You should try out for RED team." (Hmm. Guess I could join your team of ruthless killers and lame hat wearers and watch you get grenaded by 8 year olds.) "You will take many bullets before dying I think."

(Hey, Heavy. I just finished [Russian fantasy book]. Ever read it?) "No." (Oh. What's your favorite book?) "I prefer war." (Ah, War and Peace. Tasteful.) "No. Just war." (Art of War?) "Nyet." Silence. "I like 'Tsar Hunger' by Leonid Andreyev. You know this?" (...No.) "Is classic."

"You have hands like young girl." (I keep them shits moist.) "...So you are more of sneaky, stabbing type?" (In an extreme circumstance, I guess.) Heavy looks at him suspiciously. "I keep my eyes on you." (No, no no- I wasn't implying that-) Heavy looking at him angierly. (Shit.)

(Ever listen to music while you work?) "Yes! I just buy new walkman." (What gets you in the killing mood? Icelandic death metal?) "I just get Huey Lewis tape. Keeps spirits up on battle field."

"[To Tycho] You have woman?" (Not with me) "She is pretty?" (Yeah, cute, glasses, red hair.) "She has the red hair??" (No, Heavy! She is not on the other team! Don't have to kill her!) "No. But I love the red hair!" (Well, you can't have her, either.) Re-used image of Heavy looking at him angrily. (Well, maybe we can work something out.)

(Hey, Heavyman. You think you can 'take care' of the King of Town for me?) "I can assassinate king, yes. It is expensive, though." (By take care of I meant sneak in and shave off half his mustache.) "I am not best at sneaking." (Confront him in a dark alley then?) "This is better. That way blood wash away in rain."

(You have any interest in moonlighting?) "WHAT? I am not moonlighter!" (Just a little work on the side with Sam and me beating up goons!) "Oh. I can not do this." (C'mon it's fun and free!) "No, I am sure it is." (Then what's the problem?) "I have non compete." (Ah, yeah. Lawyers.)

(All these aces reminds me of [weird dream]. You have any weird dreams, Mr. Weapons?) "I sometimes dream that I am killed. There is blood everywhere. (Tycho gives him a weird look) But then I wake up and I realize this is ridiculous! Nobody can kill Heavy weapons guy! (Riiiight...)

"[To his chips] This is good Solider. This one is good Doktor. You are demolition man."

"Saaaandvich, sandvich, I love you sandvich!" (Would you like someone to order you some food?)

"Blue man." (Tycho.) "Tycho. What college do you go to? You are educated, no?" (Actually, no.) "No?" (I studied at Gygax Polyhedral if you catch my drift.) "I do not. This is good school?" (Uh. The best.) "I went to Soviet College of Mines, Farms, and Science. I have PhD in Russian literature." (Do you.. use that in your work?) "More than you think."

"Tiny Heavy, who is your favorite to kill in war?" (Those discount three-pack green helmets.) "To kill spy is glorious thing! How about you, Max? You are killing type." (My favorite enemy? Like asking me to choose between my children!) Heavy laughs. "You crack me up, little bunny!"

(Hey, Hefty Bag, you ever play video games?) "Just one." (Oh yeah?) "It is called-" (Tycho: WoW?) "Nyet. That is not popular. It is called 'Where's an Egg'." (Strongbad: I love Where's an Egg!) "Where's an Egg is as big as Tetris in homeland."

(Concerning your firearm, whay caliber we talking?) "Big." (What, we talking 300 Weatherby Mag here?) "Bigger." (50 cal, whereabouts?) "Bigger than 50 caliber. They are hand made custom tool cartridges with classified diameter." (Why's that?) "So enemy canmot use ammunition. But Sasha can chew through theirs." (Diabolical!) "I think so." Nods.

(Alright, big pretend killer man. Tell me the most awesome story you have with plenty of senseless violence!) Heavy thinks. "When I was boy, I was at camp, being trained in many ways of combat." (Assassination camp for kids! This is gonna be good!) "There was sparrow sitting on fence. Snow falls quietly around me. Without notice, another boy jumps from behind tree and kills sparrow with throwing knife. The boy runs away." (And then??) "I pick up sparrow, and hear his last breath before digging him tiny grave..." (Tycho crying) (Max silent) (That's not even a little bit funny, man.) Heavy shakes his head solemnly. "No..." Sits back. "It's not."

(So, what do you do for fun?) "Clean Sasha. Use Sasha... Clean Sasha again." (Proper maintience is crucial.) "I also collect old coins." (A fellow numismatist!) "Which I melt down to make custom bullets." (Of course.)

"I am hungry for sandvich." (Then order a sandvich, man.) "Oh, I can not have sandvich! I become unstoppable killing machine!" (Yeah, maybe order a water.) "Is best."

"You wear blue sweater." (All the time.) "What are you?" (Haven't we went over this?) "You are not Scout. Maybe very tricky blue Spy? Maybe... new class?" (I can use a keyboard to sabotage your entire team, steal your intelligence, and have your sister delivered to my doorstep in one afternoon. Yes, I'm a new class.) Heavy, shocked, "This is true??"

(Hey, Heavyman, what's your living situ-aysh?) "I live in RED barraks. Is nice. There is foos table." (How about taking a room in the house of Strong?) "There is vacancy?" (First you'll have to dump the current person in your room.) "This is enemy?" (He won't put up much of a fight.)

Hope you enjoyed, spent most of the day copying all these down. The non-Heavy lines are paraphrased for shortness. Heavy's are full, how they are in game.

[daisukoth]

I don't get how so many people enjoy Genshin Impact. Actually. it's so fucking boring, you stare at an anime behind all day mashing W, whatever that ability key was, and LMB. u run around collecting worthless boxes (unless you pay money), do even more mind numbing quests where you run around, mash e, then run around some more. then the distastefully added microtransactions just kill what litte "enjoyment" remains, if you can call it that. What is the most fun part of games like these? murdering a big boss, obtaining their fat loot and taking that burning mega zweihander to obliterate lvl 2 goons by the dozen. That is replaced by what? mindlessly running around the map collecting those stupid star things and once u get enough u spend them to open a lootbox and try to not have any expectations. then when it is inevitably hands you a useless 1 star piece of shit you realize you could be having so much more fun playing diablo 3 or roblox or minecraft or divinity or any other fucking game other than this one. and don't get me started on people defending the pity system. It's a slap to anyone's face. imagine going to a casino with 300 dollars. They promise you that you'll win atleast 3 dollars back. and then people point to that, and are like "hey atleast you'll get 3 dollars back" like no fuck you i'd rather spend that cash on a nice restaurant and savour the flavour of their steaks or sushi or spaghetti in my mouth.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #246: GATHERINGS

August, 1984

Family feud! Guest-starring SERSI of the Eternals!

She comes!

A portent of times to come! I hear a faint rumbling of leather jackets from distant years...

Also, hey! She-Hulk! I missed you!

The Avengers have been through the Secret Wars and participated in the Wraith War! What’s next for our band of heroes?

Maybe parties? The cover makes it look like a party is going on before some Kirby-looking guys crashed.

But also? Vision’s vague scheming to raise the Avengers’ profile continues as he and Scarlet Witch take a trip to visit President Reagan and First Lady Reagan at the White House.

Weird thing is that we don’t get an unobscructed view of Reagan’s face. He’s either back to the ‘camera’ or cropped on the panel border. Weird, since this wasn’t a problem last time he appeared in this book. Y’know, the time some plant people tried to hold him for ransom? That time?

President Didn’t-Pay-for-the-Likeness-Rights thanks Vision for taking time to personally brief him on all the biz the Avengers have been up to.

President Reagan: “I wish we could talk like this more often! The National Security Council keeps me posted on your missions, but there’s nothing like getting the news firsthand.”

Vision: “I quite agree, Mr. President. In fact, I have a few suggestions for making the lines of communication between Avengers Mansion and the White House more... shall we say... direct?”

He suggests they speak in private which Reagan gladly agrees to, shooing Scarlet Witch and Mrs. Reagan out. To Scarlet Witch’s surprise because he sprang the trip on Washington on her and now he’s sprung this on her.

Also, every time Vision meets someone in private and the conversation takes place off-panel, they suddenly come around to his point of view so.... uh...

Well, I’m sure it’s fine.

Meanwhile, we get back to Captain Monica Marvel Rambeau’s subplot. Remember how she worried after getting back from Secret Wars that she had no explanation to give her family for being missing for several days? And was thinking of telling them about her secret superhero thing?

Well, she calls home to New Orleans and her presumably firefighter dad answers. I presume he’s a firefighter because there’s a firefighter hat and coat hanging up prominently in the background. We call that environmental storytelling.

Monica’s mom isn’t home so Monica asks for her parents to call her back when they’re both available.

Monica: “In a way, I’m glad momma wasn’t home. That gives me more time to figure out how I’m going to tell them that their ‘little girl’ is leading a double life... as an Avenger called Captain Marvel!”

... Geez, her costume looks so weird when there’s nobody in it.

Monica ponders just bringing it up casually by RECAPPING HER ENTIRE BACKSTORY! Which, in fairness, would be an appropriate way to handle it. But she decides that just going ‘yeah I was helping old family friend Professor LeClare investigate a secret lab on an oil platform, punched a machine, got powers, and then joined the Avengers’ would sound crazy and that there must be a better way to tell them.

I say, take it slow and ramp up. Start from ‘I have superpowers’, do a little pew pew flashlight beam and let their questions guide your explanation.

Meanwhile again but elsewhere, Wasp van Dyne is just chilling at Avengers Mansion, bumming herself out rereading the World According to Garp, and receiving a phone call from West Avengers Chairman Hawkeye.

He tells her that he found a great HQ for the new West Coast Avengers, some old silent film star’s home, and he’s overseeing renovations now.

This ongoing Hawkeye real estate subplot is to get you excited for the upcoming West Coast Avengers series. Are you?

I dread it.

Anyway, Starfox comes in after the phone call and recognizes that Janet is in a Mood. A very bored mood. A post-chairperson funk.

Wasp: “It’s just that Wanda and the Vision are in Washington... Hawkeye and his new wife are setting up a new team in California... Cap and Thor are away on missions of their own... Everybody’s doing something! Everybody but me! It’s funny, after all we’ve been through lately, especially with that horrible Magneto, you’d think I’d appreciate a little leisure time. But instead, I’m bored out of my mind!”

Magneto kissing her really teed her off if that’s what she’s focusing on from the whole Secret Wars thing and not having died.

Starfox has just the answer for Wasp’s post-Magneto-kissing blues though.

PARTY.

He was on his way to a great party and Wasp can be his plus one!

Meanwhile, on the Washington to New York plane, Vision and Scarlet Witch.

She’s confused why they didn’t just take the Quinjets that they have instead of flying on a commercial airline but Vision says that getting out among the people is just good public relations.

I mean, he’s not wrong. But also flying in public, in your costumes, seems like it runs the risk of aggroing a supervillain attack.

It doesn’t happen but I wouldn’t have been surprised if it did.

The flight attendant asks Vision if he drinks before course correcting into asking him if he wants a drink.

I don’t know what’s more amazing here. Wanda going ‘he never has coffee at home’ like that coffee ad that Airplane spoofed.

Or Vision patting himself on the back for connecting to the common man with his drink order.

Simply superb.

Back at the casa Rambeau, Maria Rambeau returns and then returns Monica’s call. Monica says she’s going to come over for dinner and then a panel later, she’s knocking on the door.

Her parents are confused because it’s a twenty-minute drive between Monica’s house and theirs but that’s just part of what Monica wants to explain to them.

I see Monica decided to just jump into her explanation.

Back in New York, Janet frets over whether she’s dressed right for the party but Starfox just dismisses that as one of Earth’s weird mores. Why, he only wears the one outfit and that’s just gonna have to be good enough.

They arrive at the party and it seems to be a hobnobbin’ sort of event, with people discussing court settlements and acting. Also, She-Hulk is there. Hi, She-Hulk!

Glad Stern found another excuse to include you after Byrne stole you away to the land of the Fantastic.

She-Hulk says she met the host at an exotic bakery shop just last week and that’s how she scored the invite.

I wonder what made these baked goods so exotic. And I’m wondering if it wasn’t actually erotic. Do I think that She-Hulk would purchase a butt cake? Yes, yes I do.

She asks Starfox how he knows the host and, well, he doesn’t. He heard about the party and decided to invite himself (and Wasp) along. I.e. crash.

But the host...

ITS SHE!

SERSI!

SHE COMES!

But the host, Sylvia Sersi, isn’t too bothered by the pair of party-crashing Avengers and has She-Hulk introduce them.

Starfox is enchanted to meet Sersi and she likewise but they’d best not be too enchanted to meet each other because I’m pretty sure they’re not too distant relations.

Mentor founded the Titan colony of the Eternals and the Eternals have all been around a while so there’s not that many branches between Starfox and Sersi, I don’t think.

Anyyyyyway.

A drunk man pauses before a mirror to tidy up his tie and gets a startle when a Watcher-looking guy that isn’t the Watcher because he has hair appears in the mirror instead of his own face.

When Sersi comes over to investigate she tells him he must have imagined it and sends the guy away for some air but then interrogates the mirror face man and calls him Domo.

Domo, in the mirror: “We need you here in Olympia! Everyone is needed for the final decision!”

Sersi: “I told you before, I don’t care! Go ahead and make your big decision! It won’t affect me, because I intend to go right on doing as I please!”

Then she turns the mirror into a picture of penguins??

Her powers are great indeed.

Although her investment in the community is less so.

Whatever this mysterious decision everyone is voting on, it is clearly less important than this rockin’ party. This party has a She-Hulk!

Back over at the Rambeaus, Monica decides to just rip off the band-aid and tell her parents that she’s Captain Marvel. They find it hard to believe so she just pulls out her costume and lightspeeds into it.

Harder to hold doubts when your daughter glows with an awesome power.

Frank Rambeau: “It’s true... my little girl’s an Avenger. Hey, that means... you’ve met Captain America!”

Frank jumping right to the important points.

Thankfully, Monica’s parents are very supportive. And actually like the Avengers. You have cool parents, Monica.

Frank Rambeau: “Monica, I don’t know what to say! The Avengers are heroes... like Cap and the Black Panther and Thor... They’re like a legend! To think that you’re one of them -- !”

Maria Rambeau: “We’re very, very proud of you, dear... Prouder than we ever thought possible!”

Very cool parents.

Meanwhile, back at the party, mirror spooked guy (apparently Harry) goes out for air like Sersi suggested and then sees something else which spooks him even harder!

He runs from the party babbling about seeing things or not seeing things and not sticking around to sort out which.

Then a bunch of goons crash the party by flying through the terrace doors.

Look at these total goons.

Starfox steps forward and tries to defuse the situation both by words

Starfox: “Easy, my friends! I’m sure you don’t want to hurt anyone!”

And by shooting pleasure beams from his mind.

Predictably, his pleasure beam, besides being creepy, can’t be allowed to be too effective.

If it actually worked we wouldn’t have conflict and plot.

So like the Hulk in Incredible Hulk #300, these dudes called Delphans just slap Starfox out of the way.

Then superhero number two steps up.

One of the Delphans say that they need to get “that witch” before she can cause them any grief and She-Hulk was in proximity and assumes they meant her and takes exception to that.

She-Hulk: “‘Witch’, huh? You wouldn’t mean me, would you? That’s a bad choice of words, but you’re right about one thing... I can give plenty of grief!”

The Delphan just immediately hits her with an energy pole which just pisses off She-Hulk and ruins her party dress. Thankfully she had the unstable molecules FF costume on underneath.

She dresses in layers.

Delphan: “You’re still standing? But that photon-burst would have stunned the mighty Karkas!”

She-Hulk: “You stupid jerk! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find nice things in my size?!”

She-Hulk and Starfox start beating on the Delphans but its Sersi’s party and she can shoot eye beams if she wants to, eye beams if she wants to.

Sersi: “I should have known Domo would send you Delphans after me! Well, it won’t work! You’re not taking me away without a fight!”

Not just eyebeams but apparently a piggifying beam!

A singing piggifying beam!

Oh, sure, the Delphan says that its a transmutive ability but I know whats what.

Her name is Sersi, which is like Cerci, and she can shoot pig beams at people, especially Greek soldiers.

Unfortunately, like other witches before her, she needs some wrist range of movement to do her business and grabbing her by the arms will just nullify her.

Sigh.

If only he didn’t have armored outpanties, she could kick him in the business.

But fortunately, Wasp “can blow up a small house” van Dyne won’t be stopped by armored outerwear and shoots the Delphan grabbing Sersi right in the butt.

That is, Wasp shoots him in the butt, not that he’s grabbing Sersi in the butt.

Meanwhile, over in the Vision and Scarlet Witch subplot, their plane lands at LaGuardia and they’re instantly accosted by journalists who wants Vision’s take on rumors that the president is going to make chairmanship of the Avengers a cabinet-level post.

Vision coyly tells them that he and the president discussed many things but he’s not at liberty to confirm anything.

Hmm.

Then Vision excuses himself, saying that he and Wanda have to get back to Avengers Mansion.

Scarlet Witch: “We certainly do!” And when we get there, we are going to have a little talk!

Seems Wanda is annoyed at all this being left out of the loop.

Back at the A-plot, where A stands for Avengers go to a party and then get into a fight, Sersi gets fed up with these shenanigans and threatens to turn the Delphans into worms but she gets grabbed by the wrists again, this time by power-dampening chonky handcuffs, and dragged away by the Delphans to their spaceship that was hovering right outside the party.

Starfox and Wasp fly out in pursuit, with non-flying She-Hulk complaining about being left behind.

Wasp: “After them, Starfox! We mustn’t let them get away!”

Starfox: “I quite agree! Hostesses such as Ms. Sersi are all too rare!”

Wasp: “No kidding! Once we rescue her, I want to find out how she does that trick with her eyes!”

... Really.

The eyes specifically? Not the singing pig beam?

Huh. To each their own.

The ship takes off shortly after Wasp and Starfox stow aboard and the two heroes resume beating Delphan ass to try to save Sersi.

Lead Delphan: “We have the advantage in number, but they’re still making us look like idiots! We can’t let them beat us now! Have to initiate transport... while there’s still a chance!”

The ship then disappears with a FWOF!

And reappears above the mountains of Northern Greece.

Apparently, Eternal transportation is like the kind in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy because Starfox and Wasp are discombobulated and nauseated by the transport.

The Lead Delphan seizes the opportunity while the bull is hot and pulls the lever to make the ship just completely disassemble.

The Delphans take advantage of the heroes startlement to beat the shit out of Starfox in midair.

Clever. But rude.

Sometime later, Starfox comes to in Olympia to discover that he and Wasp are completely surrounded and in the shit.

Domo: “Citizens of Olympia!! At last, we all stand together... reunited with our Polar and Pacific cousins! Our destiny beckons! But before the ritual may begin, we must first deal with these two... who have intruded into the affairs of the Eternals!”

Hey, dick! They don’t come to a party you’re crashing and slap the host!

But I guess we’re going to meet all the Eternals next time.

What a fun coincidence that I’m hitting this point of the story when the Eternals movie is just a few months away.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because one day I’ll read comics about Sersi wearing a leather jacket. Like and reblog for the same reason or for different reasons.