#me except i'm in my 30s
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But that's dessert!
I FINALLY FINISHED THIS THING LET'S GOOO
I hope u all like it
#I love this song#I've been wanting to do something about this AU with this song for MONTHS#I am so happy I got the chance to do it as my final for class <33#I may post some wips for this on my main account if any of you guys are interested in that...#This was fun#please consider this my apology for no comic updates lately😞art school really is kicking my ass#Let me know what you think about this animation!!#I LOVE THESE GUYS I LOVE THIS AU AND I LOVE THIS SONG AND HOW IT FITS WITH THIS AU#I drew Asgore in like#one frame#and I think that's very funny#I swear he's there for a reason#technically all the characters that are important to this AU appeared here in some way or the other#except Flowey#I'm sorry flowey#If this animation was just a few seconds longer I would have added him but I had a 30 second limit#I'm slowly understanding how to animate......#forgettable-au#undertale au#undertale#papyrus#gaster#sans#papyrus!gaster#papyrus is gaster#alphys#gaster followers#undertale animation
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Kia has decided to retire her winter wardrobe all over my everything
#kiadanta#my cats#ragdoll#cat#the fluff heap in the last picture is what i brushed from her yesterday and today#it seems to be working though!! i can pick her up and only have a 30% opacity fur coating on me afterwards#instead of the 80% it was at the start of yesterday#I'm glad shes receptive to being bribed with treats to be wetted down and brushed extensively for such long sessions#she has a good time with everything except belly brushing#which i have to do much more coaxing for#but with treat bribery i can recall her to the brushing spot pretty much instantly whenever she starts to wander off#and while she doesnt like her coat being sprayed directly she's fine with me cupping water in my hands and wiping it on her#i find it's much much easier to brush her when she's damp#otherwise the fur is all so stupidly fine it just floats away and i cant get much of the loose stuff onto the brush at all. just goes whoosh#summer shedding be like that
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sometimes you have nothing left to lose and everything to gain so without even choosing to do so you end up being more authentic and shameless than ever before. and when you do things it feels like an actual human being, an actual being completing tasks, and those tasks feel like ghibli movies, they feel like domesticity, and even if you live alone it's like you live with a roommate who is always there for you (yourself, your truest self) and before you know it you're thinking of that being living within you, that being you repressed, as your self, as your body, and you forget the fake mask you thought was yourself for years and years because others liked you better that way.
suddenly, when you care about other people's opinions, you start having standards about which people's opinions you hold onto, and you still find yourself placing your ideas as #1 on your list of priorities, because who else knows you better? who else has lived in your shoes, in your mind? only you have. others are simply making assumptions about what's going on in your mind and in your life. even your beloved spouse or bestest of friends would still not know what you are truly like deep down unless you tell her. only you are there for yourself 24/7, and only you know your entire journey from within!
choose yourself!!! choose yourself above everything else!
choose to put out there who you truly are, warts and all. because there is not a single flaw or trait or quirk in yourself that you would never find endearing and lovable and harmless in someone else. the greatest shame is being a hypocrite and inauthentic to the weird, scrungly, beloved creature you truly are. you are so human. you are so strange yet so normal. you are a breathing, living being. there is nothing wrong with you that you are incapable of welcoming with warm, open arms; chances are, you have already done so with others. you are your own cheerleader, trusted advisor, and closest friend. it's time to have that frenemies to soulmates arc with yourself. see it as a 2025 challenge. stop being the mask, begin simply existing.
#lay text#idk this is mostly @ myself#i have become more authentic than i ever imagined#and it's scary!!! it really truly is#but i can't help it anymore#maybe it's growing older and closer to my 30s idk#but it's so freeing and exhilirating and daunting#idk what the fuck i'm doing. but i'm learning that no one really does. everyone is just winging it and hoping for the best#and it's MY journey#i can be a broke writer/youtuber/activist aiming to someday be a filmmaker and a scriptwriter and a whole bunch of crazy shit i would love!#i can have the biggest dreams ever!!!!!!!! no one can stop me!!#i don't need to follow the usual path people take!#if i need to be broke to slowly further my dreams so be it#i KNOW i'm capable of achieving them#idk where that strong confidence comes from and it might all be delusional but i'm so 1000% sure of it somehow. so fuck it! yolo!#i'll still do translation/transcription ofc. but i have priorities and i chose ones that others see as childish. and that's fine!#no one needs to understand me except myself#i don't need to give excuses to anyone!#i also can be a scrungly chaotic adhd gremlin#and the right people will love me for it!!!#2025 will be so crazy and i'm so excited for it!#ponderings
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What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭
So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.
With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.
Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.
But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.
#greenteacup asks#sidebar: I know Minister “of” Magic is an Americanism but mea culpa#Someday I might actually bite it and pay someone to britpick Lionheart but I can't do it now#because I have a ban on editing published fic unless it's finished. Otherwise I'll never get around to writing the actual ending#I have a Process#is it the best process? likely not! but it makes the words go. so here we are.#I also think the fact that JKR is Gen X makes a difference here. careers worked differently in the 80s and 90s than they do now#i.e. we have the gig economy and a lot more mobility and EXPECTATION of mobility in your early life#that means career changes & professional pivots through your 20s and 30s are increasingly normal#and in fact have always been normal — but the image of the 'true' or 'ideal' career has changed#so we look at those careers and go hm. really? none of them changed?#none of them even went to uni? do wizards... just not?#but again. I believe the epilogue was written almost completely without consideration as to what happened between the BOH and then#I really believe that JKR did not know what happened to Harry except a wedding and 3 kids. because that was the whole point#I don't think she even knew what his career was when she wrote that scene#It existed to marry everyone off and do a quick munchkin headcount#because of the understandable temptation as an author to keep your hand on the wheel. but it didn't even matter!#the epilogue changed NOTHING! it was the most useless chapter in the series! I just — GOD#you can absolutely accuse me of being sour grapes about my ships getting nixed. I AM sour grapes. I AM a hater.#AND I have plot/theme/craft reasons for disliking it.#I'm not objective. I just want credit for being a sophisticated hater. my grapes may be sour but they're still artisinal.
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>makes biggest ongoing project tied to a piece of media with a high barrier to entry that most of my irl friends don't give a shit about
>don't want to share all (i do share some) of the proper writing for it with online friends until it's time for the actual project to actually exist
>share with irl friends and my boyfriend
>lack of response from most people
>it's not even been 24 hours since sharing
>starts having A Big Fucking Moment over it
>ishestupid.jpg
#aluria.txt#and i KNOWWWW i'm being selfish here#i have trouble keeping track of irl friends' OCs and there are things my irl friends care about that idgaf about#I KNOW I'M BEING A HYPOCRITE HERE#IT'S NOT LIKE ANYBODY'S BEEN FORCING ME TO SPEND OVER A YEAR OF MY LIFE ON THIS#i do this for fun i don't need external validation this is intrisically rewarding except idk would still be nice to get more confirmation-#-that Yes I Am Doing A Good Job#and for some fucking reason instead of actually talking about it i'm melting down on Tumblr at 11:30 PM#i fucking notice who engages with my OCs when i talk about them in a server with irl friends i fucking notice who gives a shit about-#-something i'm very passionate about. but again like i already said I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPLAIN I'M JUST BEING AN ANNOYING SHIT!!!#awwww is somebody mad that not everybody gives a shit about the same things as him? shall we throw a fucking party?#IDK WOULD BE NICE TO FEEL LIKE I COULD EXPRESS MY INTERESTS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE I'M BEING ANNOYING#I USE ONLINE SPACES A LOT FOR A REASON#it's probably nothing i'll be fine tomorrow morning after sleeping (lying. it's more likely i'll just go back to bottling it up)#or once the actual comic starts serialization and then over time i can watch people go nuts over the good shit i've been hiding#I'M FUCKING FIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE just selfish#none of the people i'm complaining about here use Tumblr often enough to be likely to see this and even if they do and i acknowledge this-#-rant is objectively a bad idea that i might regret later but what-fucking-ever idgaf about anybody else rn
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hrrrrrrrrgh argh augh i'm the historical fictions guy i SHOULD be able to write a historical fictions on PURPOSE when ASKED TO
#news from the cupola#big glowing neon sign hovering over me This Young Lady Is Suffering In A Mindtrap Of His Own Creation#I think also I would have an easier time making up a guy for this particular mindtrap if it wasn't going to be shown to 30 people#who are not all my friends and pals. sigh. fall over on floor.#but also I need to write like 25 pages of other stuff before I even get to that so I shouldn't worry except that I am the worrier#& I also reallyreally don't want to write those 25 pages and I'm so tired you wouldn't believe it
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Ohoho I'm excited by book 2, but that's a monster length. How many words is book 1 again? For comparison. Also, separate thought, where do the short stories fit on the timeline between books 1 and 2?
Shit, I had not actually checked until now! But it looks like AtS was about 185.5K. So at the current length of 395K, the next one is more than twice as long. I need to lie down!!! How and why do we do this to ourselves, haha.
RE: timeline, all the little novellas so far (with the obvious exception of Midnight Chicken) will fall between the two! The next one (working title Run Aground) takes place approximately a year and change after Taste of New York.
#reader mailbag#it WAS significantly shorter! Then we figured out we needed to spice up the climax and hammered out an outline together#in like a whole day of protracted discussion. like that painting of the philosophers debating in rome or whatever. it was like that.#except like. in discord group chat haha. And then I went briefly out of my mind and slammed out like 30-40K in like a week#making huge structural changes is so intimidating but god it's so worth it sometimes. you have to take a machete to stuff!!#the new ending slaps. We made it so much better. I wish this meant anything to anybody yet lmao. YOU'LL SEE. YOU'LL ALL SEE#I digress!!! Because I worked last night and it's time for me to go to bed. But man I'm so excited to be editing and fine-tuning.
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Almost back!
ugh so much school work......been working/busy non-stop for the last week, but if I can be productive today, I'll be back to normal posting maybe by Friday? If not then I'll definitely be good by Monday! Sorry everyone! Just wanted to let you all know that I'm not abandoning my blog or anything, just busy! Also for future reference I'm going to be less active on weekends because I hang out with siblings, sorry in advance
#hiiper rambles#I haven't even had time to sketch the pages for don't leave yet#adhd wants me to suffer#everytime I try and get an assignment done I end up either on Tumblr somehow or listening to music or down a random rabbit hole#so now I'm like 30 assignments behind#but on the bright side i've been enjoying music more#I forgot how good music is#anyway the point is I gotta actually focus now#byyyyyyeeeeeeee see you all in a few days#except I still might be somewhat active on my yellow blog in the mornings and evenings#mornings and evenings for me...time zone stuff idk#right anyway I'm just talking to myself#now I have to go read les miserables#everytime I try tho I just sleep#so sleepy#how can I be so energized yet so tired...#TALKING TO MYSELF AGAIN#OKAY BYE FOR REAL NOW
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soketimes im like ohhhhhh I love trig trig is sooo great she's my best friend and then other times I want to fucking slaughter her
#trig in physics my beloved#trig in calculus my BELOATHED#anyways im pissed bc I've been trying to solve Hell Integrals for the past 30 minutes#except ir turns out i did my matrix wrong and i actually had to solve nice easy ones. I'm so fucking furious#i need someone who knows enough about differential equations that i can bitch to because Lord help me i hate it sometimes#i want to take linear algebra instead :(#lilac post
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First TOS thingie written this year \o/ It was written as mckirk.
prompt: signal
Could be longer, but I really wanted to make it only one hundred words.
---
The signal isn’t coming.
Jim grips the fabric of his pants. “Come on, Bones.”
The planet visible on the viewscreen is blue like home. Even now, Jim feels the wave of longing, but it’s quickly drowned by dread and worry.
“Two minutes to the eruption,” Spock says, and Jim holds himself back from snapping.
McCoy’s still on the surface! Doesn’t Spock care?
Uhura’s urgent calls for “Doctor McCoy” are the only sound on the bridge.
“One minute.”
Jim stands, fists clenched, seeing nothing but blue.
A noise in the intercom. “Enterprise?” McCoy. “Three to beam up.”
Jim exhales in relief.
#my writing#jim kirk#mckirk#star trek tos#written for a prompt over at 30+ fanfic discord#sometimes a prompt can inspire me i guess#but i'm just happy that i wrote a short mckirk thingie#even tho i think the story just lives in my head and idk if i managed to properly express it lol#but anyway i had fun#i don't write in present tense but i made an exception for this#also this isn't the writing i mentioned earlier. it's more writing! yay :D
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★I am feeling quite energetic or something. I need to burn that energy off by running away from a giant and music is blasting on my headphones. Well, their thunderous footsteps could just be enough to drown out most of the music— but in theory, it sounds quite fun. And adrenaline inducing. And terrifying.★

#gt#gianttiny#giant tiny#g/t#giant/tiny#g/t community#giant/tiny community#g/t trope#giant/tiny trope#g/t thought#giant/tiny thoughts#random#music#★yes#this is inspired by those 'escape pov' videos#except there's music in the background.#but imagine just how cool it would be#like I'm running from a ..what— 30 foot creature/person ??#and my hearing is just flooded with#'CATCH ME IF YOU CANNN~ !! IM GONE JUST LIKE THE WIND NOWW—'#..yeah I know that during a chase— if you are the one being hunted you need to be aware of your surroundings and such#including listening around you for any other potential threat and such#buttttt I would be alerted of said giants presence by the vibrations of their footsteps#so yes I can have my headphones on#yes I can blast 'set it off' and 'get scared' while pursuing said giant#because I wouldn't need to listen around me just to see if they approaching or something something..#erh. analysing again I see.#..shush up#the correct term is 'shut up'#SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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best thing about american pope is baseball investment
#and his team is even sadder than mine!#honestly my team isn't even sad this year (yet)#but it is a little sad to have a dedicated and demonstrated lifelong loyalty#to the *only* major league team that has never even *played* in the World Series#(yes this includes the 5 teams that were added at the same time or later)#(in fact every active major league team has been to the world series since our team was added *except* us lol)#when verifying this on wikipedia I also learned that they have had a losing record for 30 of their 48 years <3#(so far!)#really though matt is the one that's like 'they could be better and they're not and that frustrates me'#and I'm just like 'yay baseball :) '#so I don't exactly feel down about them being kinda sad#it's just I could be having even more fun if they were also good
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My high school did a yearly poetry recitation contest (Poetry Out Loud), so Oh Boy do I know some poems. My favorites are Ozymandias and "the world is about to end and my grandparents are in love," by Kara Jackson. Also in 8th grade we had a Poe unit and had a class contest to make the best music video of the Raven, so I still know a good chunk of that.
i hadn't heard of the kara jackson one! just read through it and enjoyed it, particularly these lines > 'grandma returns to her love like a hymn, marks it with a color. // when the world ends will it suck the earth of all its love? /will i go taking somebody’s hand, / my skin becoming their skin?'
#taking this as a challenge to see how much of ozymandias and the raven i can remember. no i'm not bored at work what gives you that idea#i bet ive got most of ozymandias. the raven may be a lost cause#i met a traveller from an antique land / who said: two vast and trunkless legs of stone / stand in the desert. near them on the sand /#half-sunk a shatter'd visage lies whose frown / and wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command / tell that its sculptor well those passions read#...something or other i do not recall / the heart that mocked them and the heart that fed / and on the pedestal these words appear /#my name is ozymandias king of kings / look on my works ye mighty and despair /#nothing beside remains. round the decay / of that colossal wreck . something or other#the lone and level sands stretch far away#decay of that colossal wreck indeed (my memory for this poem)#oh well.#once upon a midnight dreary as i pondered weak and weary / over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore /#while i nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a rapping / as of someone gently tapping tapping at my chamber door /#tis some visitor i muttered tapping at my chamber door / only this and nothing more#?? (it's downhill from here)#ah distinctly i remember it was in the bleak december / and each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor /#something?ly i sought the morrow / vainly had i sought to borrow / from my books surcease of sorrow / sorrow for the lost lenore /#for the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels .name lenore / lost to me forevermore#(then there is another stanza; bird-infested word bonanza / which i used to know at some point but do not know anymore /)#something something something door. darkness there and nothing more#oh it's the 'silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain / thrilled me filled me with fantastic terrors never known before' bit#anyway. deep into that darkness peering something stood i hoping fearing / doubting?? dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before#but the silence was unbroken and the stillness gave no token / and the only word there spoken was the whispered word lenore#(more missing chunks)#oh i remember 'surely said i surely that is / something at my window lattice' because it's such a stupid rhyme#bird time bust time idk#ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore / tell me what thy lordly name is on the night's plutonian shore /#a billion more stanzas i dont remember. except for 'prophet!' said i 'thing of evil! prophet still if bird or devil!#whether tempter sent or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore /' etc. wait you can only add 30 tags to posts now?? i had more raven chunks#ask#anon
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getting into a new fandom and finding 0 fics for it on ao3 😭 is it over
#delete later#it's 4am where i live and i cannot sleep which is v frustrating bc i have work as always#and i will truly private this when i am more awake and embarrassed but the fandom is k//ill//er p//et//er on we//bto//on#aka k//ill//er p//ie//tro depending on the translation scans site#it's only ~30 (scrollable webcomic format) eps so far... very action-y and digestible#but man. the titular character...#..............#seasoned assassin who succeeds despite the crazy odds stacked against him out of sheer competence and experience#what if he had a cold 🙁🙁🙁#i was actually reading it for reference for something more action-oriented i'm working on to familiarize myself more with the genre#my personal investment was not part of the plan (🤡)#i don't think i can be the one to post the first ever fic on ao3 and have it be a gratuitous sickfic 😭 i don't have it in me#also i think it would not quite live up to the joy of reading someone else's thoughts about how he'd operate when unwell... but sadly there#is 0 demand for it except for me and it's also not the kind of genre where we would ever get that arc in canon#...next time i need to find something with at least 1 sickfic on ao3 before i get emotionally invested
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caved and watched the first 5 episodes of hotd and rn all i gotta say is i wouldn't even wish the fate of being a high ranking offical's daughter/wife in the GoT universe onto my worst enemy godddd
#YES I'M MAD LATE AND I SAID I'D WATCH IT A YEAR AGO....PLANS CHANGE STUFF HAPPENS but i always kept it on my mind#my least faves so far....otto and the cole guy.#not the biggest fan of daemon either rn. well it's more like whyyyy does he love to cause problems on purpose#all of this probs subject to change except otto i'm so glad viserys called him out on essentially pimping out his daughter#my thoughts on rhaenicent omfg........not for the weak and ik it's only gonna get worse#other thoughts. mysaria. lowkey queen i cannot blame her for getting a bag when she's just been screwed over#v interesting how even viserys is nottt above the system that allowed him to be king and HAS to take a wife + have kids#bc of his fucking council...and chooses alicent which i gasped at even tho ik it was coming obvi#like it was either her or his 12 y/o cousin when he's like. pushing 40??? mid 30s??? idfk#ick all around tho poor alicent her wearing that green dress. a statement. damn.#rhaenyra they can never make me hate you...never...am i always gonna be happy with her actions.no. am i gonna defend her. probs#srsly tho it's her birthright to be queen bottom line. i liked her seeing the white stag that was nice#rip to laenor's bf he did notttt deserve that at all ik cole thought he was being blackmailed and was mad paranoid atp but bro#imagine watching your secret lover die on your arranged marriage night if i was laenor u would have to drag me to that altar#um tldr i like it i'm scared acting supurb i like the tidbits at the end where they explain everyone's actions#hotd#my text
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I know, I know, I haven't even finished archiving my first Ross run here, and I'm already like 👀 new Ross run babe? What can I say, I love me some mods, I needed to see bg3!Ross modded, and also I guess Rosstarion quickly became a comfort thing so I'm excited to replay them. Caleb who. I mean. Well. Caleb's there too. I mean, Fakeleb.


#nika plays bg3#bg3!ross is supposed to be in his 30s. about 34 i think#but ross also canonically looks way younger than that#if you remember lilith nicknamed ts4!ross eternally babyfaced and he was like ok i'll grow a mustache. still babyfaced but w facial hair no#anyway all the vanilla bg3 faces were either not him enough or too mature#so now i'm happier with him#and just his face alone being more accurate makes me wanna take him for another run#mostly the first ross run was perfect and almost everything turned out how i wanted it (except gale's ending. didn't want him like that heh#but i might replay it just for comfort like i said#also i wanna try multiclassing him#i've been multiclassing a lot in my current run and it's so awesome
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