#me in 2018 trying to work out if i was a 'gold star lesbian' and being twisted into a knot trying to figure it out

[arielmagicesi]

been looking through old posts and I just want everyone to know, if you see an old post of mine where I have a bunch of caveats being like “but I’m not a gross cringe freak about this obviously, I’m the smart cool version of this, I’m doing this thing with full knowledge of all the serious problems that come with being gross and cringe” I just want everyone to know I was lying. I am a gross cringe freak. and don’t think for a second I’m not <3

[mirekat]

Hello! Sorry if this is a weird thing to ask, but I'm working on this essay about section 28 and I was wondering if you had any recommendations on super basic LGBTQ+ historiography? It turns out going from studying early modern history to very recent stuff is a trip because as an early modernist I could read books from the 90s and it was mostly fine, but now if I read books from the 90s, section 28 was still in law!

Heya! And omg it's not weird at all--thank you for asking! Other than the piece of my brain that's reserved for Star Trek, this is my whole intellectual life and I will talk about it endlessly.

I feel like I should preface this with the caveat that I do mainly English history, and mainly postwar history, so my reading list is skewed in that direction. That said, trying to answer this made me realise just how few surveys of UK LGBTQ+ history actually run all the way up to 2003! There's a good volume of LGB historiography covering c.1880-1967, a decent amount about the Gay Liberation Front and HIV/Aids activism, but when I went back over my exam list the only survey I saw that covered Section 28 repeal was Jeffrey Weeks, Sex, Politics, and Society (the 2017 edition). Weeks is basically the doyen of the field, though--his Coming Out (1977) is still the text all us whippersnappers have a go at to prove ourselves--so he’s good to have in your bibliography. There's also a chapter on Section 28 in Trans Britain (2018), ed. Christine Burns. The book is more a set of personal essays than a survey, and it's not pitched at an academic audience, but it’s still the only text I know that covers UK trans history from 1950s-present.

If you're looking at the big sweeping questions that have defined the field, there’s a crucial split in the mid-2000s. On the one hand you’ve got books like Harry Cocks’ Nameless Offences (2003) which is a history of gay Victorian men--as in men he defines as gay--in the tradition of Weeks. And then you’ve got books like Matt Houlbrook’s Queer London (2005) covering 1918-1957, which are asking instead how ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’ became identity terms in the first place, and how we should tell queer stories when our subjects didn’t define themselves that way. Sharon Marcus Between Women (2007) made a similar move to Houlbrook’s w/r/t Victorian women’s relationships. Laura Doan even had a public fight with herself about it: Fashioning Sapphism (2000) calls itself a history of interwar lesbian culture, and Disturbing Practices (2013) repudiates the earlier book, arguing that we can’t project concepts like ‘lesbian’ onto women who desired women before that desire was called lesbian. The intro to British Queer History: New Approaches and Perspectives, ed. Brian Lewis (2012) has an overview of this kind of push-and-pull between historical methodologies; the essays in it run through the 1970s. 

Other texts building off this 2000s historiography I can think of at the moment:

Rebecca Jennings, Tomboys and Bachelor Girls: A Lesbian History of Postwar Britain, 1945-71 (2017)

Simon Avery and Katherine L. Graham, eds. Sex, Time and Place: Queer Histories of London, c. 1850 to the Present (2016-v eclectic but intro and post-80s chapters might be useful)

Brian Lewis, Wolfenden’s Witnesses: Homosexuality in Postwar Britain, (London: Palgrave Macmillan, 2016)

Alison Oram, Chris Waters and Frank Mort have a lot of articles that cover the 20s-70s; might look up their faculty pages for ideas. 

Zooming out further, there are a handful of foundational US history texts that get cited in most UK bibliographies as well. I’d say the ‘essentials’ trilogy would be Kennedy and Davis’ Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold (1993; 2ed 2014)--which you mentioned you’d read!--George Chauncey’s Gay New York (1994) and Susan Stryker’s Transgender History (2008; 2ed 2017).

Finally, this is all v white and Global North and Anglophone and (mostly) not trans-inclusive, which is...well, the field to some extent. But it’s getting better! Idk how much of this would go directly into a paper on Section 28, but for good measure here are some historically-minded works in my own wee subfield: Jules Gill-Peterson’s Histories of the Transgender Child (2018), which shows how gender in the US can’t be disentangled from race; Afsaneh Najmabadi’s Professing Selves (2014) on medical transition in post-70s Iran; Howard Chiang’s After Eunuchs (2018) and Transtopia in the Sinophone Pacific which literally came out three weeks ago so I can’t speak to it yet but I’m hype for it. 

Ooh, and if you like oral histories there’s the Oral History Digital Collaboratory, which is North American-centric but has a big list of digitized projects!

Anyway, that’s a by-no-means-exhaustive overview. Putting this out into the world in hopes that anyone else among this tumblr crew of supremely well-read folks might have other recs! What are your queer/LGBTQ+ history go-tos?

(Also, OP, I’d love to hear what recs you have for the early modern period!)

[paddingtonfan69]

do you read other people's fics often? what type of fics do you veer towards? do you have any good recs?

Sure do! I go through phases where I’m always reading fic and then phases where I don’t for months and try to read... books?? My favorites are normally ones that resemble rom coms or just certain authors whose voices encapsulate the characters well. Here are some faves under the ol cut :)

Here a a couple Teenage Bounty Hunters fics, which I’m assuming you are curious about given the current make up of my ao3 lol, even though, full disclosure, I haven’t read as much as I want to for tbh because it’s hard for me for some reason to read fic for a fandom when I’m actively writing something for it and I’ve been in an active writing mode for a minute on this last one. BUT these bad boys made it through the cracks!

But I’m a Fire and I’ll Keep Your Brittle Heart Warm by lco123 - an ideal post-canon fic, it feels like such a natural continuation and is sweet and warm and funny and I just adored it! Also everything by this author slaps.

‘tis the damn season by @dclarkadmin - ok you every hear a song and think of a ship and the. someone actually writes that??? Like exceptionally well!! It’s bittersweet but also lovely and in character. Once again, this is also an author rec, all their other fics also are great!

Some other random faves from a smattering of fandoms:

goodnight, dear void by @coalitiongirl - ouat -fun fact I watched like two seasons of once upon a time back in 2012 then fell off of it, but I still read the fanfic because it’s that good!!! This one is a you’ve got mail au which was very inspirational to the one I’m writing rn, so big fan, killer enemies to lovers energy!

dear friend by @jenny-calendar - btvs - another you’ve got mail au inspo, that gives truly the perfect vibes of hating each other irl and confiding in each other online and accidentally shit-talking yourself! peak comedy gold! it also captures the jenny/giles quippiness so so well, and is a downright delight.

when i die I’ll sacrifice (more than enough for the afterlife) by @notcaycepollard - avengers- it’s been years since I’ve really cared about the mcu at all (brief exceptions for himbo thor and lesbian brie larson and zendaya) BUT this fic made me care A LOT about the avengers and natasha more than any of those movies ever did and I think about it all the time. It’s just so beautiful written with such love and throught for the characters (it also makes everyone queer which never hurts)

The Best of It by @dollsome-does-tumblr - gilmore girls - a true delight of rory and paris in a fake relationship, and just the dialogue between them and every character down to each stars hollow townie is so finnh and lived-in in that way only gilmore girls can be. Also it’s fun that it was started in 2012 and finished in 2018, what a journey!

Travel by @apparitionism - warehouse 13 - full disclosure, I also never finished warehouse 13 but the fics for that show are honestly top tier and I oddly got into reading a whole lot of them about a year ago, almost a decade after the fact. This is one of my faves, a simple delightful pure rom com between hg and myka that just hits that balance of romance and wit that works for these characters!

Honestly now that I think about it, all of these are also recs for the authors, quality stuff from all of em!!

Hope this was somewhat what you were asking for, anon, I kind of just went for it! Hope you at least get a couple good reads out of this :)

[anita-fite]

Rachel Grey!

Oh my girl? You ask about my girl?

Favorite Thing About Them

Listen if I were her I would’ve quit a while ago. She comes from a whole shit show of a world where Sentinels are killing everyone because apparently it’s no longer fuck mutant lives it’s fuck non robot lives and her family and friends have all died and she killed her father and uncle and Kurt and those are just the ones we’ve seen. In addition to that there’s the fact that she’s been taken at the age somewhere between 9-11 (canon constantly messes this up. The Adventures of Phoenix and Cyclops states she was carefree at 14 which shows they really stopped giving shits) and was heavily drugged and tortured into killing innocent people. So absolutely her strength.

Least Favorite Thing About Them

I think this is also one of the reasons some people aren’t fans of her but it’s definitely the fact that she’s constantly getting taken to the dark side. 2018 had her going through it three times! Three!

Favorite Line

Lesbianillyana uses it as her title (or whatever that’s called, I don’t know)

‘There’s music in the stars. In my blood.’

brOTP

Her and Kurt. I don’t know what that foolishness was that occurred in X-Men Gold

Her and Captain Britain are good too. They’re both hotheads but ultimately they’re friends with the others wellbeing at heart whenever they piss the other off (i.e. Rachel taking all his alcohol and throwing it into the ocean). Also their interactions are funny and I wish the annual gave them some funny moment.

OTP

Kitty/Rachel (Actual god tier ship)

Rachel/Illyana (A good crack ship because they’ve interacted like...twice)

Rachel/Betsy (Don’t hate me. Betsy as a whole is insanely problematic and I hate the Reload era with a passion but they had something there.)

nOTP

I can’t believe this is like a thing I’ve seen with my own two eyes that I have to put this here: Rachel/Logan

- JOHN SUBLIME/RACHEL. I want to know whose weed was the writers room when this foolishness occurred. Like, hello he killed her mom? How wouldn’t she know she’s more powerful than Xavier?

- Kurt/Rachel. I just...I...

- Rachel/Franklin. Listen it’s not like I hate it or would be completely against it despite my belief that Rachel’s a lesbian, it’s the fact that it got a little moment in UXM 141 &142 that then got a bigger moment in the Days of Future Present event and then he gets another mention in X-Men Gold as her lover and a page where he speaks with her and there’s nothing! I just felt nothing because no one’s ever elaborated on their relationship!

Random Headcanon(s)

If anyone remembers my old account that died due to a messed up laptop this is actually another time where I miss it because I used to kill the Rachel Grey tag with them. So here have many

- Rachel can and will fall asleep anywhere even if she’s standing up. Logan once walked up to her, had a one sided therapy session with him taking her silence to his question as a hint to work it out himself, walked away and then realized she was sleeping.

- On Earth 811 she had a crush on the only other female teammate on the New Mutants, Kurt’s daughter (and this is why I absolutely don’t like Kurt/Rachel).

- The original hound suit was red with studs. Eventually as the years passed she learned to change the molecules in the clothing and turned the red to black. She made the spikes appear in self-defense.

- Her hair’s constantly jagged because she cuts it herself and doesn’t usually try to find the right tool. She just finds a sharp enough object and eyeballs it. Kitty ends up fixing it after a while.

- There are no mirrors in her room. She constantly punches them. The others used to try to put another one in the next day without realizing it was purposeful until they ended up buying a new one every day for a week straight.

- The reason she’s so susceptible to being controlled is because the Hound conditioning basically wiped her head making her mental shields easier to get through. She’s in the process of bringing them back to normal, maybe to a stronger degree.

- She has a degree in engineering because I said so.

- It’s mentioned in some issue of the 90’s Cable that Rachel can play piano. It turns out that she actually is really good at it. She can’t remember who taught her to play.

Unpopular Opinion

I’m hoping she doesn’t get the Phoenix back in X-Force if the cover is anything to go by. It feels like another attempt to bring her true power down. I’d rather it be she learns that the Phoenix is her (second? third? Does Scott count?) parent.

Song I associate with them

I swear I only associate her with Bird Set Free because:

- Bird. Fire. Phoenix

- Set Free. Rachel was in the hands of Ahab for an unspecified amount of years (I made a timeline that makes it 5 years but there’s no canon confirmation)

Favorite Picture of Them

That one from Reload where she’s holding a picture of her and Kitty and lovingly calling her her anchor to Earth 616.

[seluandthecrow-blog]

The entertainment industry in America is imbued with racist ideology, and gaps in representation and wages between actors of color and white actors are reigning free. Black actors are sometimes more successful than their white counterparts, but even then they’re not being recognized or compensated in the same way. I observe this from a privileged lens as a white person, and though I have struggled economically and still do, I have the privilege that comes with whiteness. Here I will attempt to communicate some of what I see as disparities and racist ideologies in the American entertainment industry today.

  I saw the most recent Star Wars movie “Solo” when it came out on Netflix. Alden Ehrenreich plays Han Solo, our lovable, orphaned, thief-but-for-the-right-reasons protagonist. He’s moving up through the ranks, stealing for the noble cause of one day being reunited with his adolescent crush Qi’ra (Emilia Clarke).  Donald Glover plays Lando Calrissian, the owner of the Millennium Falcon. His methods for acquisition of the Falcon are under constant scrutiny, and he is portrayed as the crook, with little back story. When white writers Jonathan and Lawrence Kasdan created this story, did they intend to cast Lando as a black man, or was it perhaps the casting agency who thought Glover would be good for this supporting role?

When Donald Glover was offered the job, he faced a choice. Did he want to be in the new Star Wars movie if he played a thief? There is a sacrifice made when an activist musician and comedian takes a high caliber role that potentially stereotypes him based on race. Certainly the circumstances are unique for each actor, but when a black entertainer is given an opportunity to succeed, but there is a wage gap between black and white entertainers, as well as male and female actors, and intersections of these different categories work like a confusing math problem that becomes easy to distill: there is disparity.

Sure, films like Black Panther are working against subjugation by taking black characters into the forefront of the picture, but what goes on behind the scenes is still inequity. It is generally stated that Chad Boseman who plays Black Panther earned $500,000 for his appearance in the film, and around 2-3 Million for Avengers, Infinity War. Robert Downey Jr. however, earned $500,000 for the first Iron Man, and earned a sickening $40-$50 Million for Infinity War. (QUORA.COM, 2019) (MENXP.COM, 2019) 

Entertainers with more weight in the industry based on previous successes gain more creative independence and move up in the income ranks based on that success. But roles and incomes are limited for black actors in the mainstream, and when you see a black actor or hear a black musician, what parts of their blackness are being commodified and to what end can they be undervalued as artists when their bodies and voices are being harnessed to entertain?

According to Forbes, Black Panther grossed over 1.3 Billion Dollars, more than Titanic, one of the highest grossing films to date (Forbes, 2018), Whereas the first Iron Man grossed less than half that, close to 318 Million. (Box Office Mojo, 2019). There are some lurking variables affecting the difference in Boseman and Downy Jr.’s salaries in Infinity War, like that fact that Downey Jr. has appeared in more films than Boseman (IMBD, 2019), but the key factor in the wage gap here is clearly white privilege. This phenomenon is hard to name because acknowledging it opens up hundreds of years of dialogue on oppression and dispossession which is painful to talk about, but it is impossible to ignore if you want it to change.  

Coincidentally, Donald Glover’s hit song This is America was co-written by Swedish computer Ludwig Göransson , who also wrote the score for Black Panther. Göransson  speaks to that experience in an interview with Complex.com last year:

“What I’ve been working with, and really trying to be aware of, is how you take traditional music from these different countries and put electronics and big orchestra on top of that while keeping the same sounds,” he said. “It’s been really challenging. I went to west Africa and South Africa for a month to do research and record a bunch of different musicians for the score. I brought that back to my studio and, for the past year, I’ve been figuring out ways to preserve the essence of that music and try to make it cinematic to fit this superhero universe.” (COMPLEX.COM, 2018)

So where are these nameless musicians from Africa credited in information on this blockbuster’s soundtrack? Nowhere that I could find. Were they paid anywhere close to what Göransson received as the Composer for the film?Do they receive royalties from their performances?

Michelle Alexander speaks to new manifestations of racism in her book The New Jim Crow, a book which according to a 2018 article in The New York Times is banned in prisons in North Carolina and Florida. (Bromwich, 2018)

“In the era of colorblindness, it is no longer socially permissible to use race, explicitly, as a justification for discrimination, exclusion, and social contempt. So, we don’t. Rather than reply on race, we use our criminal justice system to label people of color “criminals” and then engage in all the practices we supposedly left behind. Today is it perfectly legal to discriminate against criminals in nearly all the ways that it was once legal to discriminate against African Americans…we have not ended the racial caste in America; we have merely redesigned it.“ (Alexander, 2012)

  And that’s exactly what is going on in the entertainment industry today. We are redesigning racism with wage gaps, divisions of screen time and biased survival in apocalyptic pictures (Infinity Wars,) and portraying black actors as thieves and sidekicks (Solo,) while black rappers in the mainstream sing about prison time, womanizing, gold chains, and street drugs, perpetuating these images to the public. In Lil Baby’s song Pure Cocaine, which is #24 on the Billboard rap charts as of April 5th, 2019, he says:

“When your wrist like this, you don't check the forecast/Every day it's gon' rain (every day it's gon' rain), yeah/Made a brick through a brick, I ain't whip up shit/This pure cocaine (this pure cocaine), yeah/From the streets, but I got a little sense/But I had to go coupe, no brain, coupe no brain/I ain't worried 'bout you, I'ma do what I do/And I do my thing, do my thing”

  Chris Holmlund makes observations of the entertainment industry’s racist ideology flattening the Whoopi Goldberg into a tool for the white protagonists to connect in the movie Ghost in his book Impossible Bodies:

“Garishly dressed and made up, Oda Mae [the crook turned accessory to the white protagonist’s happiness, played by Goldberg] looks ridiculous when she visits Molly at Sam’s urging. “I don’t see what’s wrong with what I’m wearing,” she complains, voice off over a bird’s eye shot of Manhattan. 

The next shot shows her striding along, resplendent in a badly fitting rose-colored jacket, black flounced skirt, black stockings, white net gloves, bouffant black wig, and rakish hat. Her legs splay apart awkwardly above spike heels. In African leggings she later seems more at ease, but she never looks as deliciously fragile as Molly [Demi Moore] does in her pixie haircut, baggy sweaters, and spaghetti strap T-shirts.

            No wonder, then, that Oda Mae lends her body to the dead Sam when he wants to hold and kiss his wife one last time. “O.K., O.K., you can use me,” she says, “You can use my body. Just do it quick before I change my mind.” Orlando at least submersed himself in her, before reemerging in ghostly superimposition to hear his wife’s response. Sam simply replaces her, obviating the lesbianism implicit in a first, teaser, closeup of Molly’s white hands held by Oda Mae’s black ones, by suddenly appearing in medium shot to wrap his strong arms protectively around his tremblingly eager widow’s torso.” (Holmlund, 2002)

This example from the 1990 film may show that movies have come some way in representation of black characters, but Lando’s role in connecting Han Solo with his love Qi’ra seems to follow a similar trajectory. Epigenesis is painful, and there are many steps back accompanying each step forward in how ideologies can be reshaped. In 2010 there was one such instance of painful steps backward which instigate change in the 15th annual broadcast of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, which aired on CBS. A summation of the event from The Color Complex by Kathy Russell-Cole, and Drs. Midge Wilson and Ronald Hall follows:

“Over 9 million viewers, the largest audience yet, tuned in to watch thirty-four female models, six of whom were women of color, parade around in lingerie and little else. The display of wares was organized around six differently themes sets, and in each, even the country-themes one featuring a barn and blond wigs, the subset of “girls” participating was racially integrated-with one notable exception. The single themed presentation in which the producers saw fit to showcase only the six models of color was the segment entitled “Wild Thing.” The setting was a jungle and the models entered wearing nothing more than African wraps on bodies covered in tribal body paint. From the African-American community could be heard a collective moan: “Seriously? Again, you put us back in the jungle?”

Since before the Civil War, the dominant White culture has abused and manipulated images of African Americans, usually for the purposes of fear, humor (i.e. what Whites thought was amusing,) and marketing.” (Russel-Cole/Wilson/Hall, 2013)

Awareness of these disparities is the key to unwinding what large entertainment corporations are continuously feeding to the public. I encourage you to question the lyrics on the radio, and ask yourself who is writing them, who is singing them, and for what reason. Watch the behaviors of actors. What are they promoting? Mainstream media is engineered by corporations to succeed with awareness of what consumers will buy into. It’s your responsibility as the consumer to shape the reality of the entertainment industry, and equality on and off-screen. 

[chibinightowl]

Ain’t No Shame

For Day Five of JayTim Week 2018 - Fake/Pretend Relationship

“Want to be my fake boyfriend?” Jason blinks, his sandwich raised halfway to his mouth as he stares at Tim. “What?” he asks, eyes narrowing slightly. Admittedly it’s not the strangest thing his replacement has ever said to him but it still sends him for a loop. Tim gestures breezily, his own sandwich abandoned on his desk in favor of the coffee that Jason brought for him. They try to have lunch together every few weeks to shoot the shit and bitch about their respective family. It’s therapeutic. “Not that I don’t think you’d be great boyfriend material but there’s this one woman who’s been really on my case recently about my dating life.” “You mean lack of dating life.” Jason can’t help but laugh. Tim doesn’t date. At all. His last relationship ended two years ago with Tam Fox throwing a glass of champagne in his face at one of the biggest social events of the year and stalking off, never to be seen around Tim again. Tim mock glares at him over the rim of his thermos. “Like you’re one to talk.” “Ain’t no shame in my game,” Jason says around a mouthful of his sandwich. “You have no game.”

It’s sad but true. Like Tim has any room to talk though. “So why do I get to be the fake boyfriend then?” he asks instead of replying to Tim’s comment. Tim huffs a sigh, the force of which displaces his bangs from where they hang over his eyes. The young man is always in need of a haircut. “A number of reasons, really. First, she’s the daughter of a rather influential society maven who actually has brains to go with her money.” “That’s rare.” “Tell me about it,” Tim replies sourly. “But her mother has her set on a good match and apparently she’s set her sights on me. We’re pretty close in age.” His disgust at being called a good match is clear and makes Jason laugh again because this is just too funny. “So I need to be your arm candy in hopes of scaring her off by pretending to be bi?” It’s not a bad idea but they all know rich people are into some pretty kinky shit behind closed doors. Tim shrugs and finally picks up his sandwich. “That’s the hope. I already know she doesn’t like lesbians. She made a comment about Steph and Cass the last time they made an appearance together.” Jason makes a face at that. “Talkin’ shit about my two favorite gals? I already don’t like her.” “She was tolerable until that point,” Tim nods in agreement. “But I can’t just tell her off. I made a point to remind her that she was talking about my sister and one of my best friends. She apologized, but it was easy to see she didn’t mean it.” “Why can’t you tell her to piss off?” Tim sighs again. “Because I have a reputation to maintain. If I’m perceived as being difficult, then it makes it harder to do my job.” He gestures to the nice office they’re sitting in at WE. During the last year that they’ve been hanging out, it’s been a common complaint that no one at WE takes him seriously because of his age. At 23, Tim struggles with being acting CEO for the often absent Bruce and balancing college classes on top of his role as Red Robin.

A role Jason can’t help but notice Tim is letting slide more and more. Over the last few weeks in particular, he’s only heard Red on the comms maybe a half a dozen times. He settles a thoughtful eye on the young man. “Shit goin’ down here too?”

Tim runs a tired hand through his hair, messing it up even more, and quietly glares at his desk. “That’s putting it lightly,” he finally says. “I’d rather be going toe to toe with Killer Croc in a dark sewer than face the complete and utter bullshit that’s corporate America.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.” Tim takes a deep breath and looks up again, settling back in his chair. “So, fake boyfriend. It’ll help relieve some of my stress if you give me a hand.”

Jason pointedly rakes his eyes up and down the young businessman. Tim looks smart and professional in his suit, even if the tie is already at half-mast and his collar undone. But underneath the façade, and what’s probably a ton of concealer, he can see how tired Tim is. Those blue eyes that normally sparkle when he finds something funny are dull, with barely a glimmer of what Jason knows is a situation they should both be finding hilarious.

“Why the hell not?” he agrees. If anything, this will let him keep a better eye on the smaller bird. Sue him if all of this isn’t getting his mother-hen instincts going. “So, what’s the plan I know you’ve already got cooked up in that big brain of yours?”

“Well, since you asked…”

~*~*~*~

It starts simple enough. More public and frequent lunch dates. Trips to the office with coffee during the day. After a month, Tim has them go to a restaurant opening together where they get photographed for the first time. Jason makes it a point to always wear his reading glasses when they’re in public to help dispel any questions about his resemblance to a deceased Wayne adoptee.

There’s nothing complicated about things. They enjoy each other’s company and Jason enjoys the free meals. It’s also a great excuse to make sure Tim is eating too. Red Robin still isn’t on the streets much but the bags are starting to disappear from under his eyes and the gleam is returning when Tim finds something amusing so Jason takes that as a victory. He’s joked before that Tim is the least annoying of his brothers and it’s true. Really though, Tim is closer to him than any brother. Family has always been complicated for Jason and he’s found that he’s more comfortable with forming relationships of his own choice rather than those forced upon him by so-called familial bonds.

That’s what he tells himself at least as it also helps keep people at a distance.

The morning after their first dinner date, Jason’s awakened early by the ringing of his phone. He groans and fumbles for it, the only light in bedroom from the slit in his blackout curtains where he forgot to close it all the way and never bothered to fix it. The phone rings again, and Jason swipes at the screen without really seeing who it is. “Someone better be dead or dying,” he growls hoarsely into the device.

“Well, good morning to you too, sunshine,” Tim chirps in an overly cheerful greeting. “Did someone have a long night?”

Jason groans and rolls over onto his back, rubbing a hand absently over the bare skin of his stomach. “I didn’t go to bed until after five.”

“I thought you stayed in last night after dinner?” Tim questions, sounding slightly distracted now as he apparently starts pulling up reports to see why he would have been out. “Something about too much wine?”

“Yeah, I did. Just me and Jane Austen, having a grand old time.” Jason yawns and stretches. It’s too early, whatever the hell time it was. “Is there a reason you’re callin’ at ass o’clock in the morning?”

“It’s after ten. I waited.”

“Gold fucking star. So what is it?”

“Check your texts,” Tim replies. “We made the front page of the society section.”

He doesn’t want to open his eyes, but Jason grunts and does as he’s been asked. He’s long since learned that when it comes to dealing with Tim, sometimes it’s just best to humor him. Less painful that way.

Tapping on the link Tim sent, Jason squints at the screen, his eyes trying to adjust to the brightness. The picture doesn’t look too bad, actually. They were sitting close together, and his head was bent down to listen to whatever it was Tim had been saying. They’re even smiling, small unguarded smiles that any publication would probably pay through the nose for if it came from Tim Drake-Wayne, one of the most eligible bachelors in the US and probably the world.

“Okay, so we’re not caught with forks in our mouths,” he finally offers.

Tim laughs, that low little huff Jason knows means he’s more amused than he’s letting on. “It’s a great picture actually. Guess who’s already called me about it?”

It takes Jason a moment to remember. “What’s her face…Brittany?”

“Bree,” Tim replies. “Bright and early, left me a message demanding that I call her right away. Says we need to have a little chat about last night.” It’s clear what Tim thinks about that and Jason can’t help but laugh at the disgusted tone.

“You call her back yet?”

“No,” Tim says flatly. “I’m making her stew a little while longer.”

“Brave man. I’ll stop by WE later this afternoon with coffee and you can tell me how that goes. I’m going back to sleep.” Jason yawns pointedly and hangs up without waiting for a reply.

Later that afternoon, as promised, Jason waltzes into Wayne Tower with Tim’s afternoon sugar rush. He wonders if the young executive has realized he’s been sneaking him decaf for the last month and hiding it under an excess of sugar and creamer. The secretary waves him right in, a bright smile on her face as she winks at him while fielding a phone call.

Tim is also on the phone when Jason enters the office, closing the door securely behind him. He looks annoyed and is so very ready to be anywhere else but here, but he wordlessly takes the coffee from him and continues pacing around his desk, occasionally interjecting a comment here and there as he listens to someone yelling on the other end.

Jason has a pretty good idea of who that is, so he makes himself comfortable on the sofa and pulls an old paperback out of his jacket pocket, tuning out the escalating argument. He’s moved on to a precursor of Jane Austen’s works, a novel titled Evelina, and is deeply entrenched in it when Tim finally flops down in a disgusted heap next to him.

“Rough day?” he asks mildly.

“It’s been a good day until that call” Tim takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes.

“Bree?”

He nods. “Bree.”

Jason waits and puts his book away. It won’t take long for Tim to speak up.

“It’s working,” he finally says, his head resting on the back of the sofa with his eyes closed. “She kept going on about how she thought we had an understanding. The papers are full of speculation over who you are and what we are, so she’s feeling a little insecure about her place in my world.”

There’s an odd mix of amusement and disgust coming from Tim and Jason can’t help but laugh. “What place?”

“That’s what I said,” Tim replies. “She screamed at me and hung up.”

Jason laughs even harder and sits upright. “Well, that sounds like mission accomplished to me. I say we go out and celebrate tonight. I got a little gang war brewing in the Bowery that I need to put a stop to. Could use the company.”

But Tim is already shaking his head. “Not yet,” he disagrees. “Let’s give it a few more weeks and see what happens.” He cracks open a pale blue eye. “I could use the exercise though. Vent some frustration.”

“Cracking skulls and breaking kneecaps. Time honored coping mechanisms in this family.” Jason nods sagely.

“Amen.”

~*~*~*~

A couple weeks later, they’re having lunch at a little bistro in Old Town that Jason has grown to love. It’s close enough to WE that it’s easy to get Tim out of the office and walk there, with the added bonus of what passes for sunshine and fresh air in Gotham. Today, Tim is unusually quiet. Jason lets him be during the meal, but when the normally contained man starts fiddling with his spoon, he finally speaks up.

“You’re awfully quiet, Red. The board up your ass again or something?”

Tim makes a face and reaches into the inner pocket of his suit jacket to pull out a folded piece of paper. “I wish.” He slides it across the table to Jason.

Picking it up, Jason grimaces as he reads the invitation to an upcoming charity event. “That’s a pretty invitation.” He sees where this is going. There’s only one reason why Tim would bring this up.

“It is,” Tim agrees. “And since it’s a Wayne event, my attendance is compulsory.” He levels a tired stare at Jason, who hands the paper back to him.

“Black tie event.” He can’t remember the last time he wore a tux.

“Yup.”

Jason waits, wanting to make him work for it. Tim finally quirks that little half smile of his that used to drive him nuts and slides a hand across the table to pick up his much larger hand. Long fingers rub soothing circles over bruised knuckles before he speaks. “Jason, will you go to the charity gala with me? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Well, that was more than he expects. “Sure, since you asked so nicely. I’m gonna need an Alfred-approved straightjacket, aren’t I?”

Tim’s eyes light up in a way that sends butterflies fluttering through Jason’s stomach. He swallows hard and reminds himself this isn’t real. But as they leave the restaurant, Tim nattering on about where he can get a quick fitting for his monkey suit, Jason can’t help but notice they’re still holding hands.

~*~*~*~

There’s a lot of things Jason doesn’t miss about life as a Wayne heir and this charity event certainly qualifies as one of them. Unlike other events though, he knows the majority of the funds donated tonight actually make it to where they’re needed rather than lining someone’s pocket. He sips at his champagne and does his job, standing tall and handsome next to Timothy Drake-Wayne as the shorter man schmoozes his way around the room.

Someone taps on his shoulder and Jason turns to see a grinning Dick Grayson behind him. He lets himself be pulled aside, Tim not saying a word, but he does get the play nice look before he’s left to the wolves.

“You know, there’s a word for what you’re doing tonight,” Dick says as he plucks the champagne out of Jason’s hands and replaces it with what he hopes is scotch or whiskey.

“Arm candy?” Jason retorts and takes a welcome sip at the darker liquor. It’s scotch. “Whoring myself out to the highest bidder?”

His brother laughs and slaps a hand on Jason’s broad shoulder. “I was going with the former,” he says. “Tim told me what’s been going on.”

Jason shrugs because it’s not like they’ve been keeping things secret. That would defeat the point actually. “Yeah, I’m just helping him out. I get free meals out of it and we all get the peace of mind knowing Tim is eating something other than protein bars at least once every 24 hours.”

“Alfred says thanks for that by the way.” Dick pauses and takes a sip of his own drink. “I also want to give you a heads up…you know who just arrived a few minutes ago. From the glimpse I saw, she’s dressed to kill.”

Jason laughs at that and downs the rest of the finger of scotch in one smooth motion. He hands the glass back to Dick. “Well, whaddya know? So am I.”

With that, he winks and makes his way back through the crowd to take up his position at Tim’s side again. Tim arches an eyebrow at him in question. Leaning down, Jason whispers in his ear. “Bree has entered the building. Dickie says she’s dressed to impress too.”

A small smirk graces Tim’s lips momentarily. “Game on.”

They weave in and out of different circles of people, Tim chatting up donors with a smooth aplomb that only comes from years of practice. Jason doesn’t mind hanging back in the slightest, the social maneuvering of everyone desiring to be seen with Tim making him laugh quietly to himself. He can just imagine how these people would bring up the encounter, relishing the chance to say they’d spoken with Tim Wayne. Maybe if he’d lived, this would be him standing here, doing his best to field questions with answers that mean absolutely nothing at all.

But if he’d lived, then Tim wouldn’t be here. Not like this at least.

His mind must have wandered a bit too much as Tim clenches the sleeve of his jacket tightly. “She’s coming,” he warns quietly.

Jason looks around and spots an absolute bombshell stalking towards them. Dressed to kill may have been an understatement as the brunette is stunning. Tasteful jewelry and a headful of large curls, the red sheath dress she wears reveals everything and nothing at the same time, the fabric clinging to curves that almost make Jason’s mouth water before he remembers she’s public enemy number one. “You didn’t tell me she’s hot,” he mutters back.

“Does it matter?” Tim glowers at him.

“No,” he replies glumly. “Let’s do this.”

The young heiress approaches them, her red lips smoothly sliding into a predatory smile as she greets Tim. “Hello, darling. Do you have a few minutes to spare? There’s something I’d like to speak with you about.”

Jason doesn’t miss that she pointedly pretends not to see him standing there at Tim’s side, his large hand resting on the small of his back.

Tim smoothly deflects her. “I believe I said everything that needed to be said a couple weeks ago. I’m quite happy with my current relationship.” He smiles up at Jason for good measure.

If looks could kill, Jason is positive he’d be a dead man for the second time in his life. He wants to laugh because this shit is just too funny. Tim doesn’t seem to think so though, his back tense under Jason’s hand.

“What relationship?” Bree retorts bitterly. “All the two of you ever do is go out to eat. You barely hold hands and never once did my PI catch you kiss.” She leans in close and Jason catches a whiff of a rather nice perfume. “I think this is all a sham. You’re trying to avoid commitment, Tim.”

Jason has to bite his cheek to keep from laughing this time because this chick just nailed Tim to perfection. Commitment phobe, thy name is Wayne, in all shapes and sizes.

Tim tries to keep his reply level and polite. “I can think of many couples who don’t go in for public displays of affection.”

“You did with Tam Fox. You’re comfortable with this man, but nothing in your body language screams couple like it did with her.”

Ouch. Jason will definitely grant that point to Bree because Tim and Tam were adorable together and everyone knew it.

“If we kiss, here and now, in front of all these people, will you leave my boyfriend and I alone?” The question comes out of nowhere and Jason’s mouth dries at the thought of locking lips with Tim. Not that he hasn’t wondered what it would be like, especially of late, but this isn’t quite how he thought (hoped) it would happen.

Bree does not look happy at the offer. “You wouldn’t dare. You’re as straight as I am, Tim, for all that you’re playing around trying to prove your point and get back at me for what I said about your sister. I already apologized for that.” She bats her eyes prettily at the last part.

“I never claimed to be straight,” Tim replies, his voice starting to grow dark with anger. It’s bordering on his Red Robin voice, which makes Jason rub soothing circles over Tim’s back to wordlessly calm him down. No one needs to find out something they shouldn’t, not here and not because of this woman.

Just like the mini-Bat he is Tim chooses action over inaction. He turns and smoothly wraps his arms around Jason’s neck in a move that speaks of long practice and ease rather than the first time. Jason tries to keep the surprise from his face as he settles his other hand on Tim’s narrow waist. “Sorry about this,” he whispers as he rises up on his toes.

“Don’t be,” Jason manages to reply before he’s robbed of his voice by Tim’s lips settling over his. He tries to keep it chaste and clean considering their venue and the people surrounding them who have all been surreptitiously listening into the brewing argument but his will is quickly overpowered as Tim surges forward, licking into his mouth like this will be the only chance he has. Jason lets himself be devoured and tries to reciprocate when Tim attempts to withdraw. He didn’t realize until now just how badly he wants this, wants all of this to be real.

When they finally pull apart, it’s with a number of shorter presses of their lips, neither one of them willing to be the one who ends it.

Jason takes a deep breath when he finally withdraws, winded as though he just finished a wild chase through the streets of Gotham. He takes a small amount of solace in the fact Tim does the same, with a look of utter amazement in his icy blue eyes.

A small round of applause interrupts their contemplation of each other and they abruptly jerk away from each other in surprise. Looking around, Bree is no longer there, but Dick is, grinning larger than life.

“About time,” is all he says before disappearing back into the crowd.

“What?” Jason tries to ask but Tim grabs him by the arm and leads him away, graciously accepting compliments from a few well-wishers as they make their way outside and onto a balcony.

Tim closes the door behind them and leans against it, eyes to the ground as he sorts himself out. That’s fine as Jason’s feeling a bit outside the norm too.

“What just happened?” he finally asks after Tim stays silent for too long.

Laughing eyes meet his, the dull gleam that’s been all too prevalent for months vanished in the blink of an eye. “I think Dick just won a bet.”

“What?” Jason growls, taken aback as this is not anywhere near what he expects the other man to say. He wishes he’d been able to sneak a grapple gun under his jacket as he just wants to be gone from here. “A bet? Is this a fucking joke?”

But Tim’s already holding his hands up and backtracking. “Wait. That came out wrong. I didn’t actually find out about the bet until yesterday.”

“Tim,” Jason says warningly. “Spit it out.”

“I like you,” Tim replies, crossing his arms and still blocking the doors leading back into the hotel ballroom. “I have for a long time but never thought you liked me the same way. Until tonight.”

“You like me,” Jason parrots back. “What is this, high school?”

Tim shrugs, the movement accentuated by the fine cut of his tuxedo. “I have for years, Jason. Years. But I’m also perfectly happy finally having the chance to just be your friend. That alone took us forever.”

Touché. It’s been over five years since Jason last tried to kill Tim. That first year back in Gotham was rough on all of them. “So what was all this then?” he asks, still feeling on the defensive.

“A chance I never expected to have,” Tim replies softly. “The whole thing with Bree was real. As was my request for you to act like my boyfriend for a few months. I didn’t think something like this would happen tonight. I really didn’t. I figured we’d act the couple for a few more weeks and then just drift apart and go back to our usual.”

Jason gets the distinct feeling that’s the last thing Tim wants to do but that he would because he’s not the type to force feelings on someone when it’s clearly not returned. So what does he want then? The thought of going back to their normal routine isn’t something he relishes the thought of. At all. But there’s still the bet.

“What’s the bet, Timmy?”

Tim swallows bravely. “It’s between Dick, Steph, and Cass. Since we started fake dating, they’ve been betting on when it would turn into real dating.”

That’s not too bad actually. He can deal with this. “And you just found out about this yesterday?”

The other man nods.

Jason walks forward, keeping his scowl firmly fixed in place. Tim needs to sweat a little and from the deep breath he’s taking as Jason looms over him, it’s working. “So, is there anything you want to ask me then?”

It takes a moment for Tim to understand. He sags against the door in relief before standing upright again. “Jason, will you go out with me? For real this time.”

Jason raises a hand and runs the tip of his fingers over Tim’s cheek, ghosting them down onto his thin lips. “I suppose so. One thing though.”

“What’s that?” Tim breathes, a warm puff of air against his skin.

“I don’t put out until after the third date.”

Tim groans and wraps his arms around Jason’s neck, nuzzling the skin above the stiff collar. “What do I need to do to change your mind?”

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Kevin Wozniak on Kevflix: Review – Last Christmas

        When thinking of Christmas, it reminds us of happiness.  It brings the family together to celebrate with one another.  It is a season of joy, love, and hope.  As the song says, “it’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

Paul Feig’s Last Christmas officially ushers in the Christmas season.  Though we still have Thanksgiving to go before we actually get to Christmas, but this is a perfect film to get you in the holiday mood.  This is a movie that is loaded with charm, laughs, heart, and just enough cheesiness to remind you what Christmas is all about.

Kate (Emilia Clarke) is a young woman who is constantly making bad decisions. From heavy drinking and one night stands to being late to singing auditions and working as an elf in a department store, nothing in her life seems to be going well. One day, she meets a weird man staring at a bird outside her store named Tom (Henry Golding), who asks Kate if she would like to go on a walk with him and begins to help Kate turn her life around.

Emilia Clarke will forever be known as Daenerys Targaryen, the Mother of Dragons from Game of Thrones.  Though I only saw a few episodes of the show, I never found her performance in the show to be anything great.  She seemed very stiff, which might be because of the character, but it didn’t work for me in the moments I saw her.  However, Clarke has had a different career on the silver screen.  Rather than playing similar characters to the one she played on Game of Thrones, Clarke plays lighter characters, quirkier, funnier characters and she does it very well.  She is an absolute delight in Last Christmas.  She really hones in on how big of a mess Kate is and gives us a toxic woman who is given a second chance.  She never overdoes Kate’s messiness and understands that Kate will always try to make things seem better than they actually are.  Clarke delivers a range of emotion, from sad and pathetic to quippy and glowing.  Clarke is endlessly charming and you can’t help but fall in love with Kate throughout the movie.

Henry Golding is equally as charming and just as good as Clarke.  Breaking out in 2018 in Crazy Rich Asians and the Feig-directed A Simple Favor, Golding’s star continues to shine and his screen presence is that of someone on the rise.  Tom’s optimism of life and the way he looks at the world is lovely, always telling Kate to “look up” and watching him help Kate turn her life around melts your heart.  Golding’s winning personality and charisma, along with a smile that would be hard for anyone to say no too, make it believable that Kate would follow this man on his crazy journey’s.  The two have an incredible chemistry together and I would love to see them work together again.

Last Christmas could have easily been a Hallmark movie if it weren’t for the smart, witty script written by Emma Thompson and Bryony Kimmings and Feig’s top-notch direction.  There are pieces to this movie that could have ended up being overly dramatic and bring the film down, like the one of Kate’s parents (played by Thompson and Boris Isakovic) immigrating from Yugoslavia, or Kate’s sister (Lydia Leonard) secretly being a lesbian, or Kate’s health issues.  But Feig walks the line gently and uses these more as character pieces rather than plot points.  What Feig really focuses in on is Kate and her emotional journey from a troubled mess to starting a new life.  It’s a lovely journey to be on and I was rooting for Kate the whole way, even when she did do things that weren’t exactly great.

There is a moment in the third act that might throw people for a loop and turn them off from the film.  This is a Christmas movie.  If you look at the history of Christmas movies, there is a fantastical feel to all of them, from It’s a Wonderful Life, to Elf.  This moment in the film is a bit fantastical but it worked for me because Feig didn’t lean on it.  It’s rather a quick moment, but Feig recognizes that this is just another step in Kate’s journey towards becoming a better person and not the moment the film was building towards.

Led by lovely performances from Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding, a great story, and the right amount of cheesiness, Last Christmas may not be a true Christmas classic yet, but it is a movie I wouldn’t mind watching every holiday season.

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[streetlamphalo]

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (r/fantasy bingo #6)

Rating: ★★★

Read as part of the r/fantasy Book Bingo Challenge 2018 for the “Standalone fantasy novel” category.

Hard Mode for this square required a book that is not part of a shared universe.

More like a 3.5, rounded up to 4, which although I initially bumped up to 4 stars, on reflection, is closer to a 3.

Let me put it out there. I loved Uprooted and I was fully ready to embrace Spinning Silver with equal relish and delight. Unfortunately, the things that really endeared Uprooted to me aren't present in the same way in this novel and I struggled, for a long time, to try and embrace the fact that this was a book by the same author. I also wanted this to be a lesbian romance and this is a hill I will die on because dammit, neither of the women really end up with a satisfying partner.

The POV characters are many and varied, though as Novik insists on writing them all in the first person, without any immediate signposting that we've changed narrator, it makes things confusing and, I will readily admit, I was annoyed and slightly disinterested. The truth is, Miryem is a great character and her introduction (as the daughter of a moneylender who is incapable of recovering his debts and who finds herself having to take his place and perform the unsavoury task of collecting on debts), her cold demeanour and her ability to completely divorce her own feelings from the task, really makes her stand out from usual female protagonists (or at least the ones I'm used to reading about!). She takes a calculated approach to everything and when her ability to turn silver into gold catches the eye of the cold, otherworldly Staryk, she finds herself a captive of a deal she may not be able to make her way out of.

The other major POV is Irina, the daughter of a nobleman who sees her as his ticket to power, when he marries her off to the tsar. But like with Miryem and the Staryk, Irina finds herself face to face with something far more powerful and malevolent than merely a spoiled tsar. Soon, her destiny and Miryem's are inexorably tied and the two must work together to find a way out of their situations and save themselves. See why I said I kept expecting the endgame to be one of lesbian love? But instead we are given the ending I really was hoping we wouldn't and, I have to say, I'm really not 100% sure I could actually endorse the relationships themselves.

Interspersed with the two major plotlines are a handful of minor ones, mostly revolving around maternal love, the definition of family and belonging, but also of the difference between rural and urban life. What Novik does extremely well is tackle the myth/legend/fairytale of Rumpelstiltskin from the angle of Jewish culture, with nods to cultural traditions that you don't often see in fantasy (let alone portrayed in a favourable light), while still leaving in that air of mystery and suspense (particularly around the Staryk, who sometimes made me think more of the White Walkers from A Song of Ice and Fire than anything else). But the side characters just didn't capture my attention the same way that Miryem and Irina did, because they don't feel as fleshed out or interesting. Their storylines feel positively pedestrian (and while there is something to be said about every hero or heroine requiring some end-of-the-world plot to feel relevant), the real issue is that they're just not very interesting individuals, which kills any level of interest I might have had in their fates.

So why did I initially rate this a 4 star and then knock it back to 3? Because as time has passed (and mental health issues have, for the most part, prevented me from being able to keep up with the review work), I find myself less and less enchanted by Spinning Silver. It was a great book, sure, but I can't remember many details about it (it all just feels hazy) and I can't say that I have the same love for it as I did for Uprooted. The truth is, a Novik novel that I would rate 3 stars still stands head and shoulders above other books, quite easily, but in this case, she just didn't hit the mark. It won't put me off her next book (and I hope she sticks to this Eastern European fairytale/folklore vibe), but I wouldn't necessarily recommend Spinning Silver above Uprooted.