#me ten minutes ago saying i will never talk about this ship vs me now making the post. hypocrites and liars RISE UP!

[fagitsukareita]

NOW HEAR ME OUT i just think that WHILE kusuke was digging around in toritsuka's head, looking at all that impulsiveness and the honesty that only his little brother manages to force out of this piece of shit, wouldn't it just be SO kusuke to try to turn all those feelings tori has for kusuo back onto him... a little puppy crush, nothing kusuke would ever act on (obviously. he's better than that.). just something to leave tori itchy, to make him stare at kusuo and wonder why those feelings have started to ring unfamiliar, a little deja vu, because i think kusuke does, fundamentally, view tori as just another one of kusuo's toys. and if kusuke can't have what kusuo does, then he has to break it.

[jack-kellys]

Charlie for the ask game??

YES YES yes. yes.

send me a fandom/ship/character and i’ll tell you some stuff!!

him him nothing but him miles and piles of him <3

How I feel about this character:

i’ll admit it. crutchie was not my main man in the past. he felt like a bit of a shoehorn based on the content i had, like ok of course they get rid of the disabled best friend for most of the show. like wtf. but i’ve evolved, i now am like ok that’s bad writing but it doesn’t make crutchie a bad character. and this is just. matthew duckett alone is a crutchie dissertation LMAO!! i LOVE CRUTCHIE!! i love his position with jack, i love his standings with the newsies, i love his resilience, his new more jaded take vs. the sunshine naive one of THE PAST (it’s of the past bc i personally killed it and stabbed it to death so that it would die. you’re welcome), he’s so sarcastic and dedicated to the strike and to jack. mans keeps his chin up and i am obsessed with him for it. he’s just SO COOL now like not only is he a good character he is genuinely a cool fucking character. fuck yeah. only took ten years (or. oh my god. thirty? 1992 is… thirty years ago?)

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:

um! fuck it i’ll be controversial— i honestly have no issues with jackcrutchie! all the newsies call each other brothers through the whole show and this fandom ships them anyway, and the 15 year old crutchie is now. a myth. thank god. because a revival has happened that has purposefully not taken jackshit from bway and there’s no way they got matthew duckett playing a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD LMAOO.. so jackcrutchie is valid and their relationship is interesting and complicated w/ refuge stuff to do i think there’s a lot of pull from! more than. uh. most ships in this fandom.

also crutchie is almost never paired with anyone romantically and i wish it was a mystery as to why. so if he wants to kiss jack kelly… who am i to tell a fic writer what to do. but also… crutchie and davey. i could have thoughts if they were dropped in my inbox.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

OKAY WELL YEAH it is jack and crutchie. i can be a jackcrutchie ally and not ship it consistently. their history together is the longest in the show’s context and i love how clear it is… i think crutchie’s love for new york and jack’s growing distaste of it is REALLY fascinating given the fact crutchie is the one thrown in jail and he is still like. but this is my city. like wow. idk that’s so… so fascinating for them two

My unpopular opinion about this character:

my unpopular opinion is that the hashtag ‘let crutchie say fuck’ agenda is still rooted in like a quirky infantilism. like when the child learns a bad word. what

anyway hashtag crutchie does say fuck

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

i wish crutchie got to talk to jack about the strike. because one minute they’re talking about santa fe, the next prices are raised and crutchie is saying how they should just buy their papers and keep surviving, and then suddenly we are on strike. i want a like. “what happened to leaving new york, mr. president?” kind of conversation between them especially since crutchie is IN OPPOSITION of jack. fuck me i’ll do it myself if i have to

Favorite friendship for this character:

DAVID JACOBSDSNDND!!! i think there’s this weird kind of recognition that crutchie has with davey, like this knowledge that jack needs someone like this to bring him down to earth. like. this Approval crutchie has of davey is fucking awesome, very clear in uksies. also they’re shown talking together a lot, after WWK they r at the center table like Deeply discussing something before davey says his line. ugh<3

also the way crutchie gives davey (yes not the other way around. davey like comes over to him and crutchie invites him in for a hug) is so personal to me oh my god!!

THANKS CAM!!

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 10 Favorite Fictional Couples

Happy Valentines Day, people on the internet who probably won't read this! I'm an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. And even though I'm a lonely bastard who will absolutely die alone one day, I am also a sucker for romance. If a story decides to include a cute couple in it, then you better believe I'm going to gush over them for an unhealthy amount of time for a man my age. Even more so if they answer the three most essential questions that I think applies to every romantic couple in fiction:

Why do they like each other? (Looks don't count. It can be an option, but it shouldn't be the only option.)

Would it make sense for them to be together? (Like, if this couple would exist in real life, would you expect them to last.)

Do they have chemistry? (This is the most important one as a couple can dominate just by the chemistry alone.)

So today, I am going to rank my top ten favorite couples in fiction, who just so happen to answer most, if not all, of these questions. Now, I could be cute and make a top fourteen list...but not too long ago, I just listed off the twenty best-animated series of the 2010s, so I think it's best if I stick to the basics. Also, I should make a few things clear:

A. These are couples, not ships. The pairing has to have a canon kiss, or at the very least, a canon confession to be on the list. This means sorry, Lumity fans, but Luz and Amity are not going to be on this list...even though they would absolutely be #1 if they could be!

B. The couple has to at least spend an entire episode being together, which means no last-minute hookups because the writers wanted to drag out the romantic tension. (Sorry, Catradora fans)

With that out of the way, let's get started with--

10. Laura Hollis and Carmilla Kernstien from Carmilla (Web Series)

The chemistry between these two is on point. Laura’s and Carmilla's actors Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis are so convincing when acting like a couple that I am honestly shocked to find out they never actually dated. This is good because everything else about Laura and Carmilla's relationship is...kind of the worst. Don't get me wrong, as a couple, these two are fantastic, adorable, well-written, and well-performed. But the writers seem very fond of keeping them bickering and broken up rather than actually having them together. And that is where the issue lies. If the writers committed to Laura and Carmilla being together instead of doing this whole "will they or won't they" crap, on top of them being selfish idiots in season two, then you better believe they would be in the top three, at least. As they are, they at least act adorable enough to make the top ten.

9. Gregg and Angus from Night in the Woods

Ok, I'm gonna level with you: I just wanted to put an mlm relationship on this list, and this was the best I can come up with (I haven't seen Good Omens, nor have I finished Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts yet to see Benson's relationship with Troy. Leave me alone). As a male bisexual, I'm kind of disappointed. I know that male pairings exist in media, but for the life of me, I don't think they are as celebrated as much, or as frequent, as female pairings have been. This is sad because I would honestly love to see how more couples like Gregg and Angus.

These two act so much like a real couple. Gregg and Angus care and support each other so much, yet they still have big arguments as any couple would. They clearly love each other but still have issues they both need to deal with if they want to grow. Plus, I'm just a sucker for opposites attract. And you can't get more opposite than the loud and bombastic Gregg and his quiet and serious boyfriend Angus. There are probably better mlm pairings than these two (And if there are, then let me know. I'd love to check them out), but Gregg and Angus prove that any relationship, no matter the gender, can be the same as any other. Both the wholesomeness and the faults.

8. Peter Parker and Michelle Jones from the Marvel Cinematic Universe

I put these two a little low because we barely see them spend time as a couple. Peter and Michelle got together at the end of Spider-Man: Far From Home, and we only get a glimpse of how their relationship works in the last few minutes. However, I'm willing to argue that they count because they are guaranteed to be a couple in the sequels, and we'll be allowed to see them grow. How often do you get to say that for other fictional couples who get together at the end of a long story? Plus, Peter and Michelle earn extra bonus points for being the best couple in a Spider-Man movie. Michelle is a league's better character than the MJ in the Sam Rami trilogy, and the chemistry is still adorable but not overtly cutesy like it was in The Amazing Spider-Man movies. So even though Peter and Michelle just got together, they show a lot of promise, if you ask me. Their interactions are adorable, you can tell that Michelle likes Peter for Peter, and they are the most accurate depictions of young love you’ll ever see. Just look at that first kiss. It was one filled with inexperience and awkwardness and I just love it! I’m already interested in what these two have to offer and I can’t wait to see what happens next with them.

7. Andy Dwyer and April Ludgate from Parks and Recreation

The best description you'll ever hear about this couple is that they are what happens when a dog and a cat fall in love. Andy is dopey, happy, and loyal to no end. April is intimidating, cynical, and is already plotting your murder as we speak. What I'm saying is that these two shouldn't work...but they do. Somehow, by every leap of logic, Andy and April complete each other. They are both so far gone from reality, yet at the same time, both keep each other grounded in more ways than one. It's a weird paradox that never ceases to amaze, nor does it cease to be adorable. They do go through bullcrap love triangles and a "will they or won't they scenario" in seasons two and three, but once that crap is over, the writers lean into the potential these two have as a great couple. And trust me when I say that it is all lovely to watch.

6. Rapunzel and Eugene from Tangled: The Series

Huh. I guess romance really does exist after Happily Ever After.

Joking aside, I was surprised by how well these two work as a pairing. Usually, when the Disney Prince and Princess get together in the end, there is nothing more to the relationship. And even if their movie gets a spin-off series, the dynamic is as generic and forgettable as it can be. For Rapunzel and Eugene, it is different. Their chemistry is top-notch, their constant love and support for each other are admirable/adorable, and the complete trust they have for one another is absolute perfection. I was already surprised by how good Tangled: The Series was, but the fact that the main couple is somehow better here than they were in their own movie is something I would have never expected.

5. Rigby and Eileen from Regular Show

And seeing how we're talking about surprises, who saw these two being the best couple in the series? With the number of times that the writers focussed on Mordecai's romantic hang-ups and how often Muscle Man and Starla were considered the only canon couple, I was shocked when it turned out Rigby and Eileen have the best loving relationship in Regular Show. Even crazier, their relationship is built entirely in the background of the first six seasons. Since her introduction, Eileen has been head over heels for Rigby since the beginning (for reasons I'll never understand), and Rigby slowly reciprocated. Until the big reveal in the season six finale, there was nothing but implications as they were trying to hide their relationship and not rub how perfect it is in Mordecai's face (no matter how much Rigby wants to). But once we get to see them as an official couple, it all becomes clear why they work so well. Eileen loves Rigby for Rigby, and will always support him, faults and all. Rigby pays it all back in spades, wanting to be a better person, as well as a better boyfriend, for the one person who always believes there was something good inside. Not even his own best friend had that much faith in him. And on top of all of that, they're just cute. They may not have been the central hook in the series, but they are definitely much appreciated.

4. Chris and Elise from Dan Vs./Millie and Moxxie from Helluva Boss

These four are tied because they pretty much have the same dynamic. Chris and Moxxie are these pathetic losers who somehow managed to marry Elise and Millie: Badass assassins who could effortlessly marry any man they want. And what they want are their pathetic losers. It's extra wholesome for Chris and Elise, as Chris really can't do that much right, especially in comparison to the ever-perfect Elise. Yet, she still cares deeply for Chris and will promptly destroy anyone or anything that causes him harm. That being said, while Millie and Moxxie are both equally deadly, there is an odd hilarity to the fact that these literal demons from hell are so gosh darn wholesome. Seriously, their literal job is to kill people who screw over those who went to hell, and I'm always going "D'aww" when M and M always do something cute. Explain that logic to me!

There's nothing more I can say about these four, as they're adorable couples that prove love comes in the most impossible circumstances and the unlikeliest places.

3. Ruby and Sapphire from Steven Universe

I'll always remember that Ruby and Sapphire are the first couple that proved to me that there is nothing wrong with a same-sex pairing, especially in children's media. Before Steven Universe, I wasn't necessarily told that same-sex couples are wrong, but they're not meant for kids. Then I found out that these two girls, on a kids show of all places, we're madly in love and my first response was: "...Huh." And this was before I knew I was bisexual, so I wasn't even that obsessed about it at the time. But the more I saw Ruby and Sapphire, and the more I learned about how starved the LGBTQ+ was for representation, the more I really appreciated them. Ruby and Sapphire never fail to be precious, and the fact that they barely spend any longer than a few minutes apart is downright heartwarming (and incredibly literal if you've seen the show). They also broke a ton of barriers to proper representation. Not only were Ruby and Sapphire one of the first explicit lesbian couples in children's animation, but they're also the first ones to actually get married. Because of such a power move, many networks and shows make it less of a challenge for writers to include more gay characters in their stories. There is still a lot of hard work that those writers face, but it certainly seems it's less of a challenge than it would be before Steven Universe came out (Ha!). Ruby and Saphire are the first fictional gay couple I have been introduced to and have made an incredible impression ever since.

2. Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum and Marcelene Abadeer from Adventure Time

But while it's Ruby and Sapphire that introduced me to the concept of a same-sex couple, it's Princess Bubblegum and Marceline that made me root for one. In (I want to say) 2017, I started rewatching Adventure Time, knowing that queer relationships were indeed a thing. This means that not only did I finally caught the INCREDIBLY noticeable subtext in "What Was Missing," but I was legitimately chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" when I got to the episode "Varmints." And when they finally did kiss in the series finale, I full-on jumped out of my chair and screamed, "YES!" That never happens. Not even for the straight couples that I've obsessed over before this. Either I coo at how adorable they are, or just smile a warm and gentle smile. But letting out a very audible cheer that my college roommates definitely heard? That shows how deeply I cared for these two. And can you really blame me?

Not only is the chemistry on point with Bubblegum and Marceline, but it's interesting getting to see their relationship evolve through the course of the series. They have a dynamic of a couple who broke up on bad terms (long before "Obsidian" confirmed this), and you slowly get to see them reconnect to that spark they lost long ago. Plus, the more you see them interact, the more of their history is revealed, and thus it becomes clear why they fell for each other in the first place. Bubblegum keeps Marceline responsible, while Marceline helps Bubblegum learn how to loosen up. They balance each other nicely, and after some much needed growing up from the both of them, that spark returns. And they're much more of a loving unit than they were years ago. It's incredible to watch, and I would honestly see an entire spin-off series about them. But, as great as Bubblegum and Marceline are, there is a reason they are not my number one.

(There’s no art for this one because they’re characters from a book and I don’t want to steal someone else’s fanart for the sake of my crappy Tumblr post)

1. Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus

And that reason is that I can't resist the first-ever pairing that I obsessed over. Percy and Annabeth might just be the example I live by for how couples should be written in media. Dynamic wise, of course. In terms of telling a story, their relationship was handled poorly in Percy Jackson and the Olympians. It was filled with agonizing love-triangles, a very long wait, and they were one of those couples who didn't get together until the end of the series. Which is a major no-no, in my opinion. But, when they finally get to be a couple in Heroes of Olympus, it is downright perfection. Percy and Annabeth are what happens if these two badass warrior heroes fell in love. They worry about each other and are willing to die for each other (if need be) but still have an intense amount of faith and trust for one another. The number of times Percy or Annabeth knew they would be alright because they have each other is incredibly high, no matter what series of books they appear in. They work well together, as well as off each other. Percy is this bumbling idiot who wins his battles through a mix of luck and skill, where Annabeth is this intelligent warrior who has trained since the age of seven. They compliment each other perfectly, and their constant playful bickering is always fun. I love these two, I love their love, and they will always be one of my favorite fictional couples in media.

(That is until Luz and Amity from The Owl House become cannon. In which case, you better believe they'll be number one.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And those are my favorite couples. Out of curiosity, what are yours? Or, at least, what are your top five? Don't feel afraid to let me know or even make a list of your own.

Have a happy Valentine's Day, with whoever you want to celebrate it with and however you want to do it.

Now, if you don't excuse me, I have an entire to-do list of s**t I have to do, and I gotta figure out which to work on first.

(Should I review Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles next, or do that scene breakdown for Amphibia? Oh, the possibilities are killing me...)

[ad1thi]

@starklysteve me?? spamming you w recs because i love talking about my ships?? more likely than you think :)) (here’s some rhodeytony to get you started on what is objectively the best tony ship)

i place your hands around my neck:  @fanfictiongreenirises

"Rhodey could practically feel his lungs getting heavier again, weighed down by roots of plants that he’d thought would never take hold in him again."

Or: the one where Rhodey's been pining over Tony for much longer than either of them realised and develops the Hanahaki disease

Pretend We’re In Love (The Heartache Still Hurts): @marvelingjules

Rhodey's dad is dying, and what he's always wanted is for Rhodey to be happily married. Tony and Rhodey were best friends, and haven't spoken in years. But after a chance meeting at the airport, and a desperate, insane idea on Rhodey's part, they end up pretending to be engaged.

But how much of it is really pretend?

i can’t seem to get a grip, no matter how i live with it:  @psikeval

Tony knows he's got no business being a father.

A Million Shades of Blue: @notfknapplicable

“I just know that if I could get to wherever he is, I could find him. Dead or alive, I'd bring him back to us.”

James Rhodes will never stop searching for Tony Stark.

Twenty Five Years: @notfknapplicable (part of a series)

Nobody knows how long this has actually been going on. (Tony Stark has pretty much been in a monogamous relationship since he was 18 years old.)

Leave The Light On: @notfknapplicable (part of a series)

He was never doing this for fun. He'd just wanted to stay awake. And whatever you do, please don't tell that guy he's been fucking. He kinda likes him.

coloured in sun: @heleus

The one in which Anthony Edward Stark, having just reached the warm age of seventeen, realizes that he's in love with his best friend.

(The idea is terrifying.)

the planets that bend us: @deathsweetqueen

When Antonia Margaret Stark wakes up on her sixth birthday, it’s to the words: I didn’t get any sleep last night after that fucking lawn mower decided that 7 in the morning would be a perfect time for him to start his day, right outside my room.

She runs a thumb over the long string of words, wrapping around her wrist like a thick leather band.

She smiles.

She’s fourteen when she meets James Rupert Rhodes for the first time.

Written for the "more than a partner" square (S3) for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019 and the "soulmate" square for the Iron Husbands Bingo 2019

we rattle together in a bed of honey: @deathsweetqueen

Toni first met James Rhodes in Cellular Neurophysiology and Computing, when she was fourteen and trying very hard to stay in the shadows. She stumbles into the classroom, clutching her books and binders and pencil case close to her chest, as she stares at everything, wide-eyed and hungry and terrified. She seizes on the contempt, the confusion, the incredulity of the other freshman who look at her like she’s an incongruity – she’s used to that look, all that hate and derision.

She eats it up like chocolate cake.

Much to her luck, all the seats are filled, all except for one towards the middle of the row, a table shared only by a tall, handsome black boy, sleeping on top of the counter.

a winding road that stretches to the truth: @/coulddaughter (this author ostensibly has a tumblr but im unable to locate it -- so if anyone knows what their tumblr is please let me know so i can tag them!)

“Why do you need a date? Also, no offence, but why did you come to me? I stole, like, four of your girlfriends and at least two boyfriends, remember.”

“I do remember that, Tony,” said Jim, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No, I need you to come on a date with me.”

Love in the Eyes:  @child-of-sunshine

The moment each of the Avengers realized Tony and Rhodey were in love.

The Curious Case Of The Discarded Condom:  @/AssvengersArsemble

Natasha, Clint and Steve get just a little nosy about Tony's love life. Tony finds it extremely amusing they can't see what's right under their noses.

takes a lot of love and compliance: @gyzym

She's born breech, feet kicking out before the rest of her screams free; she's born breech, and never stops running. (Rule 63!Tony)

Targeted Persuasion: @galwednesday

Jim opened Tony's most formal closet and started pulling out tuxedos. "Put one of these on.”

"Why?"

"We're getting married."

Tony froze. "No, we're not."

"Oh yes we are." Jim tossed three tuxedos onto the bed. Three was a good number of options, enough for Tony to make a choice, but not so many that he'd get lost analyzing the ramifications of navy pinstripes vs. charcoal paisley. Tony did best with clear, specific expectations rather than an unlimited universe of possibilities that he would inevitably filter through his neuroses and obsess over, and Jim was really kicking himself for not considering that, oh, ten years ago when they’d first started this, but there was no point in beating himself up about it now when he could put that energy towards solving the problem instead. "You brought this on yourself, Tones. Pick a damn tux."

Five thousand roses: @/forestgreen

She is broken and all the more dangerous for it. The world should tread carefully around the shards of her former self lest they cut themselves on Antonia Stark's sharp edges.

A Guide to Handling the Unhandleable Tony Stark:  @/nightrider101 (this is ab a/b/o verse)

Written for the following prompt on the Avengers Kink meme: The rest of the Avengers assume Tony is an unbound Omega by the way he acts. He's reckless and carefree and does what he wants. Imagine their surprise when they find out that Rhodey is Tony's Alpha. They're all confused at the way Rhodey lets Tony act and how they can be away from each other for long periods of time and Rhodey's just like 'He didn't want to give up his career and I didn't want to give up mine. And I gave up trying to tell Tony what to do years ago.'

It’s Not Bacon Until It Ceases To Be Bacon: @sobebold

Tony has lived with his best friend Rhodey for fifteen years, and everything is perfect.

Until Rhodey finally gets a boyfriend, and Tony's world gets turned upside down.

by any name: @machi-kun

Tony calls him ‘mine’, sometimes.

And he also calls him platypus, honeybear, sugarplum, all those stupid nicknames; but James’ favorite will always be ‘mine’.

Tutor Me: @wisiaden

Tony really wants James Rhodes to be his math tutor. The guy was hot, and if he had to play dumb, well, he can say he hates math.

run and hide: @/starksrhodey

Tony may or may not have a crush on football captain James Rhodes.

Or, Tony is extremely insecure, Pepper knows best, Steve likes to bake, Bucky loves red heads, and Rhodey keeps trying to talk to Tony.

This Is The Real Life: @blancheludis

It takes doing the laundry for Tony to realize he is completely, irrevocably in love with Rhodey. Who knew that the way to Tony Stark's heart is to teach him how to wash his clothes.

Anything For You Darling: @areiton

Tony is sitting on the balcony of his palace in Malibu, and Rhodey hates it, more than he's ever hated anything, watching his best friend stare at the water, limmed by the sun and utterly alone.

"She's dead," Tony says, before Rhodey can ask and he feels his breath catch, his heart stumble.

There's--

Grief. For pretty, troubled Maya with her big eyes.

Heartbreak. For a sweet infant who will never know the mother who gave him up, whose life will never be exposed, now.

Relief. Because Harley is safe. Safe. Gods, he's safe.

or

Rhodey helps Tony raise his son.

it goes like this (just like heroin): @quandongcrumble

He’s twenty-six and you’re twenty-eight and you get a midnight phone call from Obadiah and between the two of you, you manage to beg and bully until you can fly back to the States and sit beside the white hospital bed while they say words like heroin and accidental overdose and that Tony should pull through but Tiberius might not wake up.

It goes like this—for almost sixteen years Tony’s addiction problems are a blight on Rhodey’s relationship with him. Friendships crack and trust is shattered, over and over again.

motor oil and coconut oil: @/halfasgoodasanything

James loves his best friend. He's entirely supportive of his friendship and his almost relationship with Steve Rogers. He is! He is. Carol and Pepper seem to think otherwise, but he's cool. Loving Tony doesn't mean no one else can. Even if he wanted to.

lost and found: @starkslovemail 

“Are you lost?”

Tony jumped at the voice cutting into his thoughts. Turning around, he saw another teen, maybe a year or two older than him, decked out in Team USA gear. He shook his head, flashing what he hoped was a disarming smile, “Nope.”

“Are you sure about that?” The athlete raised a disbelieving brow as he stared down at Tony. “You’ve been walking up and down this hallway for the past ten minutes, and the least embarrassing reason why is being lost.”

The blunt honesty startled a laugh out of Tony. He grinned cheekily, rocking back on his heels, “Guess I’m lost then.”

--

Written for the RhodeyTony Mini-Bang! Art can be seen on twitter here!

two boy geniuses walk into one frat house: @starkslovemail (part of a series)

There were too many white people at this damn party.

The Other 'Mr Stark': Iron Man’s Mysterious Paramour:  @presidentrhodes 

Clint leans over to Tony and whispers. “For the record, I know you’re lying. You’re describing the perfect man and he doesn’t exist. You might as well say you’re dating Superman because at least Christopher Reeve was a looker.“(Based on this prompt: Tony keeps telling the avengers how awesome his husband is but they don't believe he exists because it has been months and they still haven't met him yet and then finally, Rhodey comes home.)

[televinita]

Little Women (2019): Thoughts

REQUIRED READING: the prequel post about my background going in to this film.

SNAPSHOT VERSION: Though I have some casting qualms, and may adjust my opinions after I reread the book, mostly I think this is everything my heart has needed since the magic of the ‘94 movie was broken for me. My heart is very full.

FULL VERSION: Twice as long as the prequel post (a.k.a. 1800 words), starts below.

I did not expect LW to be the first Unexpected Comeback Fandom of 2020 (or a comeback fandom ever, really), but here I am, having spent every day since I saw this film mooning about this story and looking up different editions and supplemental books in the library catalog, so I'd better process how I feel about it while the memories are relatively fresh.

Most of my thoughts are on casting rather than specific scenes because like I said, I can’t remember the book super well, so I’d like to get my movie memories to fade so that the book can surprise me. Also because I think I will have a more in-depth post about them when I watch the film a 2nd time, whether that’s in theaters or on DVD. But here’s what I’ve got for now.

ON CASTING

In no particular order --

* Emma Watson is very pretty but it is so hard to take her seriously as an actress. She's just Emma Watson, Famous For Being In Harry Potter and Getting Hired For Other Big Name Projects. I feel like she's so consciously acting all the time. She made a not-terrible Meg, I guess? No worse than she made a Belle. But it was roughly as hilarious watching her try to be a mother now as it was watching her try to be a mother in the last Harry Potter movie. To the point that I just kept hearing the "Damn! I'm SO maternal!" song playing as her theme in the background at all times. * I realized 6 days prior to seeing the movie that Florence Pugh is recognizable because she's in Midsommar and honestly, that just ruined everything for me. I didn't even see that film, I just know it's gross and I would hate it and while she is not tainted forever like the 50 Shades actors, she is definitely too tainted for Little Women. Also I could not stop thinking about how I associate Amy with being very dainty and prim and Florence, while perfectly lovely, is not. * Laura Dern was kind of strangely modern and kooky for Marmee, but I love her as an actress and I loved that she was just like "HELLO STRANGE NEIGHBOR BOY, COME BE MY FIFTH CHILD." So I was OK with that. * ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH BOB ODENKIRK. What kind of anachronistic garbage. What crack were you on, because it was obviously not the good stuff. "Did I stumble into an SNL parody??" I wondered more than once. * Meryl Streep as Aunt March was AMAZING. Ten Oscars. * Beth consistently looked younger than Amy, so that was weird. She was okay but kind of childlike, and failed to make Beth my favorite like she is in the book. * JO! Saoirse Ronan is by far my favorite actress in this set, but I didn't think she was right for Jo going in. "Jo's not a redhead!" I said, indignantly stamping my foot, because my childhood-era love for this novel reigns defensively supreme like for no other classic besides Black Beauty. (another 1994 classic they should remake soon, even though I love that version. Just saying.)

But damned if she did not COMPLETELY embody every essence of Jo there is and make Jo my favorite character this time. Truly, nobody except Meryl Streep so thoroughly matched my expectations for their character. Ten Oscars, part II. Or at least the one she is actually nominated for. If Jo loses to ScarJo I will riot. * John was nice. I feel like he was exactly what he was supposed to be, which is to say kind of plain and milquetoast but perfect for Meg. I don't actually remember him existing in the novel, so that was an interesting game of "how important is this guy?" until suddenly Meg was getting married and I realized I did, in fact, have a very dim memory of a wedding from the book. I think I will like their romance more the second time around, though. * Mr. Laurence was VERY EXCELLENT. IDK why I know the actor, even after looking him up, but I liked him in this role a lot. His grandfatherly quasi-adoption of Beth was so sweet. * As for Professor Bhaer...UGH. I hated him on sight and my brain wouldn't even let me recognize who he was for like 3 scenes, I was just like, "who is this random boarding lodger and why are we focusing on that weirdo." I mean, he's objectively handsome? But he did not do it for me. He lacked the gravitas I expect from this character and his thick accent scraped my ears and drove me insane (update from the future: his accent is also driving me insane in the book, where I have peeked in at a few chapters as incentive to reread. whyyyyyyy). * LAURIE: maybe it's been too long since I read the book, but never could I ever have imagined I'd want to use the term "fuckboy" to describe Laurie. It wasn't even Ski Chalet's face so much as it was that in all present-day scenes (post-rejection), he is such an insufferable, melodramatic, pouting trash heap that I didn't want him to marry any of them at that point. (Also YOU STILL DIDN'T MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY HE GOES FOR AMY, so good job.**) However, I took especial delight in paying attention to all the cuddly platonic friend cuddling he heaped on Jo growing up, in focus or in the background, and I loved it...kind of a lot? The ship radar made noise. That noise is getting louder by the day, smoothing away his faults. He may have permanently taken up residence in my mind's eye as the new Laurie. ...this is the worst. Make it cease. (**update from the future, I am peeking at the book and it looks like it's a lot easier to understand both in text and when you're inside Laurie's head. He is still clearly sulking his way through Europe, but in a way it's easier to recover from. Also, I don’t have time to unpack this but as I finish the edits on this post I started 5 days ago, I’m starting to think I could not only ship Laurie/Amy, but believe in it from the start.) ACTUAL PLOT AND FILM QUALITY

+ The shifting between past and present was very jarring right off the bat, but after that I think it worked.

+ I loved the attic play rehearsals so much

+ I am so glad Jo’s shorn hair is both fleeting and as hideous as it should look, and not Pixie Cut Chic (Childhood Me wailed at that part reading the book)

+ I remember hardly anything about the book's Part II / Good Wives, so basically everything in their adult lives was news to me. Amy and Aunt March go to Europe? Jo goes to live by herself in New York? Meg marries a relative pauper? Any of this could be true to the book or just made up as an alternate idea to explore, and I would be none the wiser. That made it more fun. (NOBODY SPOIL ME ON WHAT'S TRUE)

+ It did not occur to me until just now that the part where Jo publishes her version of Little Women is not in the book (right?), but that was beautifully done.

+ The house interiors were breathtaking. It's not like I don't regularly watch period pieces, but this time there was just something about seeing an old house, like the ones I am often in for estate sales, decorated the way I always imagine seeing when I enter those homes, that kind of made me tear up. + The outside shots were pretty too + Jo made me cry with her I'm so LONELY! speech, rude. (I went into this movie thinking I was 100% on board to finally read Alcott’s sequels for their Jo/Professor content, and now I'm like 'ah damn it is gonna be the season for the Jo/Laurie AU novel, isn't it.')

+ A strike against Beth and/or the actress playing her: I did not cry about her death (in my defense I was busy crying about Jo's pain).

+ I did NOT remember precisely how Laurie & Amy got married, so even though I knew it happened eventually, I felt that sucker punch to the gut reveal just about as hard as Jo did. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR WIFE.

+ My mom said she’d heard this movie was lauded as being super feminist, which rarely goes well for me, but I thought it felt like really authentic "married women literally were not allowed to control their own income and it sucked" 19th century feminism, and not someone using their 21st century voice to claim this is how people would have REALLY talked if The Patriarchy Of Historical Record hadn't silenced/suppressed it. Nothing rankled me. I’m very confused by the people who think it says Jo is queer and/or didn’t end up with the Professor, but if that’s what you see then I guess it’s a win/win situation for all of us. + LOVED the closing montage. + Basically, at all times that I wasn't annoyed by the casting, I was feeling the same magic I did while reading the book and/or while watching the 1994 movie as a child. I can’t think of any parts I really hated.

IN CONCLUSION

Part of me is honestly kind of sad I didn't reread the book before watching this movie, because even though I usually prefer to go movie first and then get the Expanded Edition that is the book, in this case I wish I'd taken my last chance to properly visualize everything in my head on my own -- since I’ve mostly forgotten the ‘94 film -- before the new movie washed it away forever. This is one of the rare times I would have liked to hope and guess what would be shown vs. cut, and be able to anticipate the thrill of seeing the page come to life.

However, seeing it was the impetus I needed to finally take my childhood copy off the shelf (and thank heavens I have it, because the library request is backed up 3 or 4 deep for every copy), and it took all of 5 minutes to get instantly sucked into chapter 1 and feel such rapturous joy and familiarity that I consciously cut myself off and decided I am going to journal out my feelings after each chapter on this reread. So that’s something!

[resonanteye]

via https://is.gd/IEusfG

horror movie talk with LFR

My friend Lucy F. R. has really great taste in movies.

I don’t say that lightly. You all know (if you’ve been reading me a while) how fussy I am about horror/weirdshit and how many movies I’ve watched. It’s my actual hobby, unrelated to anything else I do, purely for enjoyment. It’s hard for me to find people to talk about movies with, really- my uncle, who first introduced me to horror movies, and weird cinema, and one or two friends. So I’m really happy to have a conversation here about movies with someone.

Sal doesn’t take any shit from no man. (Beyond the Valley of the Ultravixens)

(R: me,  L:them)

R:  you’re on a grimy southern/grind horror kick right now. But what genre do you like best? What feeling are you after?

LFR: Horror is my favorite genre, I just get very into specific branches. I always want to end up saying to myself “this is a GOOD movie”.

R: What’s the best of the batch you’ve been into recently?

LFR:The Dunwich Horror (the 70’s one), Ghost Galleon, House By The Cemetery, Werewolves On Wheels, and Tourist Trap.

R: Tell me about Werewolves on Wheels. I just watched Dog Soldiers again, and I’ve been on a werewolf kick.

(Swamp Water)

LFR: Wait, you haven’t seen it? It’s about a small biker gang that are on their way to the desert and come across a monastery that they think is abandoned but come to find out it’s not and a mysterious cult interacts with them. The cult takes one of the biker girls and puts her in a ritual. The bikers take her back from them and go back on the road, but don’t know that ~one~ of them is now a werewolf at night.

R: People reading might not have seen it. I usually try to explain a little when I start talking about stuff, especially the lists I make.

I feel like this could turn into a list?

I saw a short film recently also with a werewolf- soldiers are in WWII, surrounded by Nazis in an old police station. There’s a woman in a cell that’s locked herself in and they get stuck in there with her. She’s a werewolf and they turn so they can beat the Nazis.

I feel like- the older werewolf stuff, I think 60s to early 80s, a lot of it was hippie panic. Manson references.

I felt like Werewolves on Wheels is also backlash on feminism, like a lot of gory stuff from that time.

LFR: It felt like a backlash on feminism and hippies.

(Vamp)

R: with werewolves and vampires there’s the whole homophobic/transphobic thing too. “secret monsters” and all that.

what movies would you compare it to? what’s close to it, in feeling?

  LFR: In feeling as in how it made me feel while watching it for the first time: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House Of 1,000 Corpses, Ghost Galleon. I just know it’s a movie that I’ll recommend to everyone and watch over and over.

Aesthetics and mood-wise: Warriors, Clockwork Orange, Hammer Film movies.

R:yeah it’s got that grit to it. easy rider/warriors. I actually haven’t seen Ghost Galleon. Rip it up for me a little.

LFR: Oh man, so

I get really into bands and for the past few years I always look up what my favorite band member’s favorite movies are, or movies that feel like the music genre. So recently I’ve just been super into doom and stoner metal, naturally I’ve been listening to a lot of Electric Wizard. I asked a bunch of doom metal fb groups “what’s the most doom metal movie you’ve seen” and eventually I somehow found Ghost Galleon. It’s a movie that is not good. Very low budget. Like Ed Wood status. But it’s REALLY good.

These swim suit models go out on a shoot and stumble across a ship that should not be afloat still and is completely abandoned. They get stuck on the ship so friends come looking for them. But the ship’s crew is a satanic cult and they come alive and, to keep from spoiling, all hell breaks loose. And it’s THE most doom metal movie you will ever watch. It has it all- mood, aesthetic, and story wise.

R:so bad, it’s incredible. sounds perfect.

LFR: it’s on prime.

R: FUCK YEAH

you guys are always using my prime and my Netflix and my Hulu. you think this is a costume? this is a way of life

R:when I started watching musician friends’ recommendations I ended up discovering Green Room.

The last time before that, it was Pighunt, which is to this day one of my favorite movies.

LFR: You told me to watch that one years ago. I recommend it to basically anyone who will listen to me.

R:it’s like the least sexist least racist southern-USA monster movie ever made.

LFR:Les Claypool’s roll in that has forever changed how I see him. When I saw Primus all I could see him as was a hillbilly preacher.

R: yep completely.

let’s talk about art horror. the weird shit. seen anything good there lately?

(The Horde)

LFR:The Girl On The Third Floor. It was weird and a little comical, but I enjoyed it. I Am The Pretty Thing Living In The House is REALLY good but it’s a little weird and a major slow burn. And, Society, but that’s more body horror than art house horror.

R:Society is a classic. Body horror and class war. So amazing. I thought I am the pretty thing was a lot of fluff- I understand the drive to slow-burn right now, it’s nostalgic. But I think it’s one of the movies where they went too far into the slow burn.

If I’m going to wait 90 minutes, that girl better taste some damn butter. You know?

LFR: I can see why but I also saw it as more of a classic gothic horror story so the pace didn’t bother me too much.

R:I kind of got tired of Gothic horror at some point. The slow burn. I think I was too interested in French and Korean extreme and gore for a minute.

LFR: I’m a sucker for gothic horror and black and white universal monsters.

R:I liked Late Phases- that kind of straddled the line for me really well. Which brings us back to werewolves, strangely enough.

I have been seeing more elderly characters in movies, which I like a lot.

  LFR: I love creepy old women and demonic children in films. I feel like The Visit sparked people’s interest in elderly characters in horror.

R: yes! I agree. I really like variety- diversity. ” 5 teenagers on a road trip ” movies… it gets tiring. Bland.

not to mention that there’s actually Black people and elderly women in movies now.

LFR: Road trip gone wrong horror is good but, you gotta do it right.

R:tell me about one that you think gets it right.

LFR: The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It paved the way.

R: it did pave the way. that there were pockets of deep weird hate in this country- I think the suburbs were really shocked by it. but if you grew up in bumfuck nowhere it was less shocking.

I think Dead End is the ultimate “road trip gone wrong” movie. Urban legend plot, Ray Wise, Lin Shaye. Just incredible pacing.

LFR: I haven’t seen that one, I’ll have to watch it.

R:oh, you’re going to love it.

I feel like the Hills Have Eyes deserves a mention here. though it’s more a “trapped on purpose” movie than a road trip.

LFR: That’s a “vacation gone wrong” horror movie, and it’s definitely one of the best ones. Vacation and road trip movies are two different branches of a genre to me.

R:I think of them as “wrong turn” vs “bad directions”. like they stumbled into trouble is one genre. they were purposely hunted/trapped, is another.

LFR:Yes, exactly!

R: like a vacation movie that’s a trap- hills have eyes a vacation movie that’s an accident- Jurassic Park

Texas chainsaw massacre is both a road trip and a vacation, an accident and a trap.

tell me about a movie that’s got a plot hole, or has kept you thinking afterward, lately. for me it’s been resolution/the endless, and residue. residue in particular. how do they keep that book? why such a dumb ending? resolution/endless bugs me and I have to watch it again- time loops force me to do math, and I end up a little obsessed with figuring out timelines.

(Requiem for a Vampire)

LFR:Horror wise, 3 From Hell. I keep thinking about how different of a movie it originally was going to be. But also, still, HOW did they survive the shoot out from Devil’s Rejects just… miraculously??? And how come this new Firefly brother was never mentioned previously whatsoever??

R:OMG yes. I couldn’t. I got too wrapped up in plot holes to enjoy it!

LFR:I still enjoyed it for what it was but yeah, I was like WAIT WHAT??? every ten minutes.

R:what about not-horror?

LFR: Picnic At Hanging Rock.

We’ve come for the crites.

R: oh yeah. that’s the kind of movie you think hard about the rest of the day. what’s your theory on the ending?

man I just went to find a photo from it and they made a show? what the hell.

have you seen The Fields? It’s set where I grew up, it’s got…a vibe. Stuck with me.

LFR: Honestly? I can’t come up with a theory on what happened. It just really feels like they simply vanished.

I haven’t seen it. Tell me about it.

(The Fields)

R: There’s a menacing thing in the cornfields. A kid has shitty parents and is sent to stay with family. The farm is in the middle of all cornfields… there’s an abandoned little amusement park that lures him. It’s based on an actual place- a tiny amusement park that flooded and was shut down. it’s still there abandoned, right next to the town I grew up in!

cornfields are extremely creepy. it’s so easy to get lost in them.

The main characters- it’s got all the bad mountain people shit going on, abuse, drinking, violence, and then more because of the presence in the fields. pretty good stuff.

not a slow burn. a medium burn.

LFR:I’m definitely watching it

R: you’ll like it. big Jughead mood.

(and then I got tired and they I think did too, so that’s all for today)

I hope I get to do this again soon: I fuckin LOVE to talk horror.

Not your baby.

If you want to support LFR in some way, wear a mask, stay the fuck home, support BLM and trans rights, and get your government reps to continue unemployment payments for gig AND other workers. Seriously.

[multsicorn]

i just really love this play alot ;) okay

Working on the theory that I Deserve To Have Fun (said theory has not been validated and is not ready for prime time discussion), I started watching the bootleg file I have of the OBC of Hamilton this afternoon.  (I downloaded it way back when I was in Hamilton fandom, before I went to go to see the play, and held off on watching it until I'd seen the play for Real, and then didn't particularly feel like it afterwards).

Some thoughts & observations:

[these got long and rambling.  lots of lams-shippiness and multi-shippiness, and gen stuff too]

* This play is really fuckin great.  Like, I've loved fandoms based around deeply mediocre and/or inconsistent canons, (looking at you, Check Please for the first, Glee for the second), and sure the hype around Ham was too big for anything to bear, but… yeah, I just really LOVE this canon, whatever its flaws, with so much heart, on so many levels.

* The staging!!!  I think means a lot here specificially cause I've heard all these songs dozens of times, mostly well over a year ago now, but - once in a while recently again, but in any case, I've done all my analysis picking over the songs, and they're inside me to a large extent.  Whereas much of the staging I only saw once, live.

* (And I had a close-up seat, then, which I paid lots of money for and felt Worth It, but I was so focused on the actors' faces, and so didn't read as much of the overall blocking as maybe I could have).

… anyway ….

"Alexander Hamilton"

* Alex taking off his white coat and putting on the brown coat Eliza gives him feels to me, this time, like he's leaving the world of the dead and coming to life.  Standing out from the crowd - of course - from the ensemble that's all wearing all-white - so he's Setting Out, etc., but also - they're back in all-white at the end, like ghosts.  So.  A sort of leaving the world outside time.

(Speaking of Eliza, there, I still always love the Eliza-Angelica-Laurens sequence in which they give Alex the coat, the book, and the bag.  MY SHIPSSS.  Such parallel!)

(And the bit where Washington's the one who's telling Alex he has to make something of himself! - I know I thought about and maybe posted about these things  back when the Grammy performance happened, but, Anyway.)

ALSO, also, 'you could never learn to take your time' being sung over Alex walking at a deliberately restrained pace to match the choreography on the bridge at the back of the stage so he comes down the stairs on the other side at the right time, is… funny.  Ha.  But the line's still true!  - And I just love how much the ensembles' dancing itself works as scenery.

"Aaron Burr, Sir"

* Alex is SO FUCKING EAGER it's RIDICULOUS he's like a PUPPY all like I CAN FRIEND!?!?

Burr may try to pretend he's not having it but he IS a BIT or he wouldn't invite Alex to have a drink etc. and… I love.

And then, every single time I hear the little line not-actually-exchange:

Burr: Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead

Laurens, in his first line in real time: What time is it?  (Showtime!)

Burr: Like I said…

I say, RUDE.

Although honestly - Burr is totally into Alex's ridiculous eagerness, like I said, he's coming closer, he admits something personal, he invites Alex out for a drink, it's not as obvious as Alex (cause he's just not) - and it's pretty RUDE ;), too of the revolutionary trio, from Burr's POV, to by their loudness and brashness and total lack of caution get in the middle of what was just shaping up to be possibly a Great Friendship.  So he can be forgiven for Harbinger of Dooming ;).

“My Shot” & "The Story of Tonight”

* As in most of Alex's interactions with the Gay Trio (Quartet!), I keep switching back and forth between LAMS IS REALLLL (it was, historically) (I wouldn't see it, though, I think, if I didn't know), and just ALEX IS A BI HUMAN DISASTER CUDDLING UP TO EVERY FRIEND HE MAKES.  Like, there's considerably More random arm-and-shoulder touching between Laurens and Alex than everyone else?  "You and I, do or die," (I do die!), and then they split up to each touch another dude, and in a slightly later verse Laurens is back again… oh, no, that 'back again' is "raise a glass to the four of us," BOTH TIMES, cause it has to be, ha.  You can say 'to the two of us,' Laurens, it's okay!  … But, like, otoh, "hard rock like Lancelot, I think your pants look hot, Laurens I like you a lot," is totally Alex flirting with these three dudes he just met all in the space of three lines.  It's great is what I'm saying.  Also Alex could use a positive setting towards people that's not 'will you be my friend and also get in my pants.'

The narrative of the song here, with the rest of the Revolutionary Quartet listening to Alex sceptically for his first few verses till they're impressed - I love the way that Laurens is his first and loudest and most consistent cheerleader ("shout it to the rooftops!"), hey, listen to this guy speak, the way that Alex LOOKS LIKE he's on a soapbox when he literally is, how that evokes the physicality of speaking to the crowd, and how his mind shoots three steps ahead of the present, and, yeah, okay, I just love the Alex/Laurens dynamic most of all, (cause I'm biased ;)), the way that Lauren's idealistic speaking ('raise a glass to freedom,' and, um, what was the start of his verse in My Shot?  whatever it was) makes Alex ~Look at him, and the way he's kinda just looking at Alex all the time.  Walking off arm-in-arm is SO they are together, okay.

(…. there are ten thousand more things in these songs, of course, but this is a post about My FEELINGS.)

“The Schuyler Sisters”

* The sibling back-and-forth dynamic here is just so freaking delightful to watch, it's so complicated, I can FEEL it.  Like, it feels like my sister and me (despite me only having the one)… Eliza going back and forth between Peggy and Angelica, how she's not just the middle sister in age, but she's trying to get Peggy to go along with Angelica's scheme, asking questions of and playing backup to Angelica, just - and the whole "mind at work" thing is perfect and Meaningful too, of course.  But what's harder to talk about here is the sibling dynamics, leading and restraining and following and conciliating, and it's displayed so well in the blocking and acting - and also, I can see how this Eliza falls for and enchants Alex.

Angelica has center stage for most of it, but I love the way Eliza takes center stage for a little bit - and when she does it's not about "work" anymore, but about HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW, which feels kinda painfully and naively optimistic nowadays but… I do believe it's still true, in exactly the same way that I always did, in the same way that line works in the play, recurring even in the worst times.  We're lucky to be alive at any time - there's still so much good in the world, people to love, and work to do.  ("Joy is deliberate.")  And Eliza's pulling focus for a sec to be HEY GUYS ISN"T THIS SO MUCH FUN, before ceding it (joyfully, too, imo!) to Angelica's Things To Do!

Also the particular choreography of the way they three of them spin almost-in-place but trading places?  I can't even figure out what it is, but I'm obsessed with it permanently.

“Farmer Refuted"

* The way that Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette all cheer Alex on, and maybe try to restrain him a little, but mostly just cheer him on, is both super fun to watch, and even more fun if you have shipping goggles, so it turns into LOOK HOW GREAT OUR BOYFRIEND IS.  Fun!  I'm just saying.  Come for the story about ambition, stay for the compersion.

Also I would like to note with appreciation Laurens' arm around Aaron Burr at the start of this song, as well as his approach to Burr at the start of "My Shot" - like, dude, he totally had a thing for Burr before he met Alex, but Burr was Not Having it, too hotheaded!  Idk it just amuses me that's all.

And notice how Alex waits to jump in till he has his reply READY~, he's mile-a-minute, yes, but he takes the time he needs to PREPARE for that.

“You’ll Be Back”

* J. Groff is the one original cast member I didn't see, when I went to see the play live, and he is Really Delightful here.  Great play of the madness, the pouting, the playfulness that's actually danger, etc.  Only thing is that I always feel like those "da da da da" choruses sound like they ought to have a classic chorus line kick!  But you couldn't do that with a single person, it would just look ridiculous, and the single-ness vs. ensemble-ness of King George works so well for thematic reasons… but is it still ridiculous to say they have a chorus line kick SOUND in my head?  Because they do.

“Right Hand Man”

* I just love so much how they create an action scene in a song!!!  You might think it wouldn't work, but it DOES, all you need is a few lines describing the back-and-forth progress of a battle.  Just enough.

Why does Washington send Burr away?  You really can't tell!  And I think that works, that ambiguity, no one knows - Burr certainly doesn't know, so that feeling of unfairness festers.  But sometimes you're just not what someone wants, and I think history backs that up too…

That whole little sequence of "how come no one can get you on their staff" (it's one of those lines where the double entendre does really good work, cause WHAT IF he was saying that, right), from Hamilton asking "have I done something wrong, Sir," to making that Decision, with the chorus rising shouting in the background, "I am not throwing away my shot," but would taking the pen be taking the shot or throwing it away - it's the most fraught thing in the musical so far!  And that's a huge part of why I love this musical SO DAMN MUCH, in addition to the way it creates its own vernacular, the complex personal relationships, etc., is how the story of ambition and Doing The Work, is put above everything else.  A promotion with ambiguous risks and rewards Is the most fraught thing in life… the hardest decision to make… I love.  And how Alex wants to fight, and also he's wary of being under command in this particular way, but the moment, the very moment he takes the pen he's charging ahead nonstop again.  "Write to Congress, tell 'em we need supplies," of course all the work he does here is over-simplified, it'd have to be to fit in any way, but… getting support out of Congress was actually one of the more challenging aspects of the war, and something Alex worked on a lot!

Also I love the random shoulder-clasp between Alex and Laurens right before Washington announces Alex as his right-hand man, precisely because it's so seemingly purposeless, like… it's a congrats, man?  Sure.  But also we just have to touch each other at least once a song, it's like, required.  Thank <3.

And overall this whole number, Washington's entrance, etc., and… really just the whole play!  Yeah it's genuinely Quality, it's layered, you can talk about technical or literary aspects, but watching for the first time in A While and just being carried along by the spectacle as much as the story?  It's so Drama, so Extra, it's great.

... and this is only the first third or so of the first act, ha.  To be continued in another post.  Perhaps.

[celtic-witch-bitch]

Girls and Guns

Girls and Guns

Fandom: Red VS Blue

Imagine: Being Felix and Locus’s adopted daughter.

Characters: Felix, Locus, Y/n,

Warnings: None that I can think of…

*Ten years ago*

Felix and Locus walked down the desolate road, guns ready, searching for any signs of life. Parts of the city were on fire, and let’s just say that their plan didn’t exactly go as planned. Instead of just taking out their main target they basically massacred the entire city.

“There’s no survivors,” Felix stated, lowering his gun. Locus huffed, and kept his gun raised. Locus didn’t think that they really could have murdered an entire city. They were walking past a small alley way when they heard the soft crying. Felix’s reflexes kicked in and he raised his gun aiming down the darkened alley way. The small creature flinched, stumbled backward and fell, making it cry harder. Locus lowered his gun and stepped into the alley, he grabbed his flash light and shined it down on the small, what he could now see was a human girl. She couldn’t have been more than five, Locus estimated. She had y/h/c, and her face was all red from crying. Something tugged at Locus’ heart, and he gently scooped her up into his arms. He hushed her, rocking her back and forth until she stopped sniffling. He looked over to Felix who had his arms crossed, and Locus knew if he could have seen his face he would have been glaring at him.

“Felix-“ Locus started

“No, not a chance,”

“Just hear me out. We will take her to the nearest planet with an orphanage, we can’t just leave her here.” Locus argued, he heard Felix growl and nod his head. Locus secretly smiled.

*Present*

You woke to the sound of a loud alarm going off, you hopped off the bed, getting dressed quickly and exited your room. You made your way to the main cafeteria, grabbed a few of your favorite breakfast foods before sitting down at a table by yourself. You knew they’d be late, they were always late, for reasons you didn’t like thinking about. After ten minutes, you heard them enter the cafeteria, bickering as usual. Your Dad, Felix, and Papa, Locus, grabbed themselves a large breakfast before taking their usual seats next to you.

“Good morning Dad, morning Papa,” You said after swallowing a mouth full of food.

“Good morning Y/n,” They both said in unison.

“We have to leave today Y/n,” Your Papa said, and you knew what he meant, they had a new target. You simply nodded your head, despite their efforts to shelter you, it was a bit hard considering what they did for a living. It didn’t bother you though, you understood.

“You think you’ll be okay without us?” Your Dad spoke up.

“I’m on a giant space ship surrounded by mercenaries, I think I’ll be fine,” You answered sarcastically.  You, yourself, were in training to be a mercenary just like your parents, though you kept that a secret from them. They wanted you to be normal. They were always worried about you, and you loved them for that but sometimes it got a bit overwhelming.

“She gets that sarcasm from you Felix,” Locus laughed. Felix punched him in the side lightly. Not really out of annoyance, more like a sign of affection.

“What time are you having to leave?” You asked.

“In one hour,” Felix answered.

“How long will you be?” You were hoping it wouldn’t be very long, you always got nervous when they were gone for long. Let’s face it you were always nervous. You constantly worried about them. You knew they were the best at their job, but you knew someday that they wouldn’t come back, and it terrified you. You couldn’t lose another family.

*Ten years ago*

Felix paced the room. He hated this, the situation, not the kid, she was kind of cute once they got her all cleaned up. He did not like being in charge of the child. Felix knocked lightly on the bathroom door. “Locus, please hurry up,” He whispered

“Felix, relax she’s sleeping, she’s had a rough day. Now shut up and let me shower in peace,” Locus growled lightly to Felix who whined. Locus took long showers, they were “his time to relax a little” as he put it. Felix sat down on a chair and pulled out his pocket knife. He began flipping it open and closed, focusing on it so much that he didn’t even notice the girl wake up. She watched him silently, hypnotized by the knife.

“Pretty,” She whispered, and Felix’s head shot up.

“What?” He asked, a little nervous now.

“Pretty,” She said again, pointing at the knife.

“You like my knife?” He asked. She nodded. He stood up and walked over to her, making her jump back a little bit. After all they were strangers to her. “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise.” He crossed his heart with a finger, making her smile. He sat down on the bed next to her, and she crawled closer. Felix had to admit she looked adorable with his over-sized shirt on her. He smiled to himself a bit, and opened the knife again. She gasped a little bit and he chuckled, he grabbed her hand gently and guided the handle of the knife into her hand. He showed her how to hold it properly so she wouldn’t get hurt.

“I have much cooler ones if you want to see them?” Felix asked her, and she giggled, nodding her head excitedly. He picked her up and carried her to his room. Felix mostly stayed with Locus but he had his own room where he liked to keep his “toys” as Locus called them. Felix just called it his “collection” that consisted mostly of knifes and daggers. His room was just across the hall from Locus. He quickly unlocked the door, and flicked the light on. She gasped and pointed and his bismuth handled dagger. He set her down and picked it up and showed her how to hold it. She giggled while holding it, and the smile on her face made Felix feel something he’d never felt before. He wasn’t sure if he wanted it to stay or not, but for now he chose not to worry about that. “Do you want to see a trick?” He asked, she nodded her head.

He picked up a different knife, a black throwing knife, and turned to the large target, that was shaped like a human of course. He threw it perfectly, and it hit the target squarely in the face.

“I want to try,” She gasped. Felix was surprised, she hadn’t said more than one word at a time since they’d found her.

“First, I need you to tell me something can you do that?” He asked, she nodded her head once again. “Okay, what’s your name?”

“Y/n,” She said, looking at her toes.

“That’s a beautiful name Y/n,” He said to her, and he noticed smile a little. “Okay, now I’ll show you how to do that, but it’ll take some practice.” He guided her through the motions, but she didn’t come close to hitting the target.

“Aww,” She frowned.

“Hey it’s okay, no one gets it the first time, we can keep trying later. First let’s get you something to eat yeah?” Felix asked her, and she nodded her little head. He picked her back up and turned to the door to see Locus, who stood in the door way watching, he’d probably seen the whole thing, from the smile on his face.

Later that night, Felix and Locus sat down at their computer and looked into orphanages, most of them were decrepit, low on funding, and could barely support the children they had. Felix and Locus both had a sick feeling in their stomach just thinking about dropping her off at any of these places. She wouldn’t be cared for the way they could. They had plenty money to provide her with whatever she wanted and more, but their lives were dangerous, and they knew they couldn’t protect her from that.

Before Locus could say a word, Felix had already said it. They quickly got to arranging things. Felix talked to the ship manager about getting one more room, he agreed hesitantly, after a few threats. Felix moved all his collection over to the new room, Locus painted Felix’s old room, and got a small bed, low enough to the ground for her to get in and out of. Felix even managed to find her a small stuffed animal. Once finished they decided to show her the new room. They both smiled and watched as she jumped on her new bed. She jumped off and ran over to them, giving them both a hug.

“I love you,” She whispered to both of them.

*Present*

“We don’t know,” Felix said. He swallowed his food, hesitantly. They were heading to Chorus, to basically massacre an entire planet.

“This job it’s… different. We don’t know how long it’s going to take,” Locus tried to explain. That struck fear into you, the longer they were gone, the more danger they could be in.

“Do… do you have to take this job?” You asked, using your spoon to move the cereal around in your bowl.

“Yeah, we do,” Felix sighed putting his fork down. “I bought a new coms unit for all of us. It’s on one signal so you can call us whenever you want.” He handed you the small earpiece, it did ease your mind a bit knowing you could call them. You’d never been able to do that before. You put it in your shirt pocket, then finished your breakfast in silence.

After breakfast, you waited at the launch bay for them to leave. You paced back and forth, something you’d learned from your dad. You wanted to ask what required them to be gone for so long that they were unsure about when they would return. You notice that the staff was preparing two different launches, but as far as you were aware, your parents were the only ones leaving the ship today. You pulled one of the staffers over and asked who else was leaving besides Felix and Locus. They said it was just them. That couldn’t be, they always took the same dropship. It was too late to interrogate them now, they were ready to board the ships. You hugged each of them, and watched them board the ships separately. After they launched you remained in the launch bay thinking. You decided you were going to find out what they were doing, and, if you thought possible, help.

 End Part 1

[wwoofcsa]

My weekend with pet

During my week with karla, i noticed (because it was pretty obvious) that i couldnt stop talking to petrina. We were like teenagers, messaging back and forth all day, day dreaming of one another and sharing everything under the sun. I was madly in love, like fall on your face in love with this girl and a plethora of bizzare things were circling our relationship (all of them super cosmic and hard to explain) that just gave me more reasons highting the importance of this relationship at this time. After intense and hilarious conversations, a thought popped in my head, maybe id buy a flight down to KL to see her for a few days? We chatted about it, but i was still feeling hesitations, i was afraid to let go and indulge in this realtionship. My entire life, im trying to find balance, and i was afraid that i was falling too deep into desire. BUT, after some conversations, i surrendered and jumped into the pool of love and bought my flight. A few days later, after pai, i was driving to the airport in chiang mai, hopping on the plane, and arriving in KL. I couldnt fucking wait! So i arrived, and we eased gently into one another, this was the first time we’d really spent time alone together, without any other stimulation to entertain us. But we eased smoothly the first night, as we laughed and talked and eventually fell asleep. The next morning we had planned to trip together. We had spoken about stepping a bit further out into the universe and taking a tab and a half each, and then adding some mushrooms on top. So we went and got some breakfast, made some food, set some intentions, and took the dive together. I lead the death meditation for her, and it felt like a  really lovely start to our trip. And there we went, our rocket ship left the atmosphere and the next ten hours were an intense explosion of connectedness, realizations and honoring the intriguing relationship that fell upon us. There were times that we held eachother so tight, that it was like we were a meteor flying through space, inpenatrable on the outside, but safe and gentle on the inside. It was as if i had lived multiple complete lives with petrina. Each life, a completely seperate reality, similar to mr. nobody. In one life, we were two kids that met each other and were full of lust. In another, we were partners with a child, all of us covered in with shalls and warming up by a fire in the winter of northern thailand. Another life, petrina was my daughter and i was letting her know how much her mother (petrina) and i loved her. 

The trip was incredibly powerful and intense, and near the end, we became slightly more sexual. Neither of us spoke, and i noticed that i wasnt sure what she was wanting from me. There were definitly signs that she desired pleasure, but at the same time it felt like a very surface feeling. I noticed that she wasnt recipricating touch, and that although we were being sexual, there seemed to be a slight distance making its way between us. Near the end of the trip, i started thinking about some of the things i had said earlier on, and that perhaps some of the things i had said earlier, may have caused a feeling of her needing to distance herself. I tried to open up and share and process the trip, but i could see that she was holding back a bit. I told her whenever she was ready to share, id love to hear. We fell asleep and the next morning she went to shower, closing the door and i could feel a continuance of the distance. It dawned on me that only a few days before, i was wearing the mask she was wearing of distance, and now it was my turn to feel the other side. I realized then, that neither of these roles were mine to play, and that mine was a secure one, and that i wanted to continue handling the situation from a place of truth and compassion, and not from anxiety and insecurity. So i meditated a few minutes as she showered, and when she came out, i asked if could share with her. She agreed and listened intently as i explained that i had noticed my mind finding insecurities, and only weeks ago i was on the other side of the coin. I realized that while i wanted to give her love, i never want to hold her back from anything, and that i really just wanted to make the most of our short time together. I wanted to end our beautiful weekend on a note that would send us into the world feeling good, and not one of regret and feeling foolish. I wanted to face my feelings, and confront them. I told her i was sorry, cause she expressed that she wasnt great with confrontation, but if we were gonna have a relationship of any kind, this is how we gotta do it. 

Pet was incredibly receptive and opened up a great deal about how she was feeling the night before. She opened up and we talked about the lust we were feeling the night before, and how it didnt feel great, that i wanted to give her love, but it felt cheapened by lust. I pointed out that i noticed she hadnt even touched me, and while that was ok, it just felt as if i was giving and she was receiving, instead of us mutually sharing love. The day continued on and our relationship truly blossomed. I learned the importance of communicating from a secure place, of not attacking, and not trying to pin my feelings on external events occuring, rather just to express my feelings and intentions. It was truly a game changer. We had a fucking blast the rest of the day, laying together in bed, getting coldstone ice cream, and going to see the new spiderman movie. 

Spiderman was hilarious, as we didnt realize that it was a cartoon. We arrived at the theater a few minutes late, and couldnt figure out what was going on. We left the theater and asked someone if we had made a mistake but the employee assured us that we had entered the correct theater. After reentering, we did some quick google searching and concluded, that we had in fact chosen to go see an animated spiderman, but since we were already there, we might as well enjoy it. And we did. It was a fucking awesome movie. I realized that night, that it didnt really matter what we were doing, as long as we were hanging out together, i was happy. 

A beautiful weekend of celebrating ourselves, with the lovely petrina

Things i learned from my acid trip with petrina.

There was this feeling in the depth of my being, that a large chapter of my life was coming to a close, and that this next chapter was about to commence. I could feel this third of my life, the third where i was making decisions for me and only me, was ending, and i was entering a realm where i would truly feel comfortable to make desicions that considered not only myself, but also others around me. Thats not to say that that hasnt happened in the past stage, but this would be the predominant work of this stage. A stage of giving back. As if the early ears of my life were focused on taking and utilizing resources from my parents and the world around me, and then i left for israel and i started thinking about caring for myself and taking less from those around me. I focused on learning and diving into the things that were interesting to me, and filtering a many great things that were interesing and letting those core healing practices emerge organically. I now feel like im arriving a stage, where i can truly allow for opportunites to come, that will help me dive to the depths of some of these realms that ive started digging in. Whether its a 21 day meditation course, or a month long ayuhasca retreat, im reading to get deeper. In addition, my relationshpi with petrina highlighted a desire that i had for a family, one of these days, a most unconventional family, and i believe that in this chapter of life, i will start to arrive to a place of emotional stability and groundedness.

In addition, i had an interesting experience, as i was showering during the trip. I could feel, very clearly, how much energy i had been storing in my dreads. This was stale energy that id been carrying around with me, weighing down on me for weeks, through pai and chiang mai. It was a profound experience, washing away all of this old, stale energy that was no longer serving me. I cant even explain how much lighter i felt after the shower, after coming to the understanding of just how much we carry with us and within us from the past and if we dont take time to cleans and wash, it really does build up.  it was awesome (like actually awe-some)

Another huge take away, was was omni present during the entire trip, was the idea of depth. I think for my entire life, ive been searching for depth, in almost everything that i do. Ive been trying to find tools to allow myself to experience the world in a more subtle and deeper way. During the trip, i feel like a door was opened that allowed me to see just how deep things can be in relation to how deep i have been living. It was truly humbling to see just how much of the mountain i had left to climb, but to see that there was a direction and deeper conciuosness (ironically, weeks later i would start my ayurvedic yoga/bodywork therapist trainging, where i would be consistantly practicing going to the depth of myself and of the world around me.)

Indulgance vs. discipline vs. balance

Lastly, something that petrina brought to my life, was this question between when its right to let go and indulge, when its right to hold back and be disciplined and how to find the balance between them. Obviously if you are always disciplined, you lose out on letting go, and living in the moment to some degree. On the other hand, if you are always indulging, it may be harder to reach a more sublte reality, or a deeper path.

An example of this would be, if i ate the entire cake by myself, i would miss out on a much deeper experience of sharing with others (a more eudonomic happiness vs. just sensual pleasure), or i would be trading sensual pleasure for pain and discomfort in my body later on. Or very simply, giving into sensual pleasures constantly, will be atempting to fill a void, that will just grow and grow (as both max and zen buddhism teach)

Having said that, if im constantly holding myself back, i may deprive myself of the simple and beautiful pleasures of life. In my attempt to get deeper, i will miss a very important lesson, in letting go and being present with what is, in flowing with the environment vs. trying to control everything. 

It’s been a very interesting idea to play with and observe in myself

[holyqrow]

The Greatest Kingdom - Review and analysis

I said I was going to review the new episodes- so what better way to start then on episode one? Let’s get straight into it and talk about the highs and lows of Volume 7, episode 1, The Greatest Kingdom.

The first thing I noticed off the bat in this episode was the fact that in the very first shot, the entirety of JNR + Oscar is just not there. I feel that this is because RT is beginning to be aware that their group of main characters who do nothing to drive the plot forward has become extremely large, because let’s be real, unless you’re Team RWBY, Oscar, or Qrow, you literally have no reason to be on this stolen Atlas ship right now. You could argue that because JNR knows about Salem they have the right to be there, and you’d be right, they do, but they aren’t working well as being main characters. They’re taking up time in the show that could be dedicated to the main four or to Oscar- who is severely lacking in character development at the moment.

A positive about this scene though, would be that Blake is the first to say something when Weiss mentions being sent back to her father. It’s nice to see that RT has clearly made the two girls supportive of each other since they both have suffered similar abuses and Blake is now seemingly helping Weiss pull away from her abuse much like how she did with Adam.

The broadcasts bring up a lot of problems, on one hand, they make sense, but on the other they give me the feeling that later in this arc the team is going to have a moment where they ‘need to help all the kingdoms’ and I believe that Ironwood will get aggressive and remind them that Atlas is strong and he needs to only worry about Atlas. After seeing Ironwood, two kids that have known him for about a total of ten minutes a year ago make a comment about how tired he looks. Literally... what is behind this scene? What is it’s purpose? They have Qrow say the exact same thing when Pietro is around later in the episode. It wasn’t even necessary for him to absentmindedly talk about Ironwood after the kids made their comment about him being tired- it just felt out of place.

Speaking of Qrow, I’m personally painfully aware that the voice coming from him is not the Qrow voice I’ve grown used to after five volumes now. However, as someone who also enjoys voice acting I recognize the difficulty of voicing a character who has already been given an iconic voice that you can’t really stray from. Not to bring up the rat himself, but imagine if someone suddenly came up with a new voice for Sonic, it’d be out of place, everyone’s used to his rad ash Ketchum voice. It’d be the same for Qrow. We’re all so used to the gruff uncle that it wouldn’t make sense for him to start sounding like Aaravos from the Dragon Prince, his new voice actor HAD to work with what was previously created, and he’s definitely doing the best he can. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t mourn my baby boy’s old voice- amen.

Anyways, back to the broadcasts, Weiss is for some reason very thrown back by her sisters demeanor but quite frankly, there isn’t anything inherently ‘evil’ or ‘agressive’ about these messages. Weiss acts like her sister is acting unlike anything she’s ever seen before, when in fact Winter is talking with the exact same tone of voice she usually talks. I don’t understand why they all view these broadcasts that are clearly meant to calm people down as agressive messages, only to forget how they believed these broadcasts to be agressive later when they meet with Ironwood and Winter.

Hey, where’d the ship go? Literally where on a crowded city street and or in an alley did that giant ship land??? Just questioning the important things.

The group is never given any repercussions for the damages they caused while in Mantle? I mean trashing a drone and throwing a man in a dumpster seems like it would warrant some sort of telling off by Ironwood or Winter. Even a joking acknowledgment of it would’ve been better than the nothing. Like a ‘oh I gave your your licenses but the lord will taketh away if you trash anymore of my expensive to make tech!’

The shot of the Faunus miners in the back of the truck is really good, and I really really really want them to go into detail about the discrimination of Faunus in Mantle and Atlas. Like please give me a moment where Weiss realizes that the SDC is not all roses and flowers, give me a moment where Blake starts a Mantle branch of the white fang (cough led by Marrow cough)

When the group first walks in to Pietro’s... home... workshop? Team RWBY is just not there. Once again, probably due to the fact that there is far too many main characters all together in one place right now. For the love of god RT please split them up before they leave for Vacuo I’m begging. Send JNR back to Vale to get a read on how things are there or something, you can give more than one groups point of view please split them up. This also marks the beginning of it taking a ridiculously long time for Pietro to recognize team RWBY because plot convenience!!!

Maria then goes on to give our cast Pietro’s life story even though Pietro is actually sitting right there and they clearly don’t actually know each other that well due to the fact that it actually takes Maria giving him hints for him to even remember who she is.

Concerning the ‘days since last nonsense’ sign in the back, I like to think that it’s there because Penny doesn’t have a lot of human nuances and just kind of does whatever dumb shit she wants and Pietro has to constantly explain to her why she can’t just do the things she does.

Overall the Pietro’s workshop scene is pretty boring because they immediately go back outside anyways so why not just stay outside nerds no one cares about Maria’s exposition.

THIS FIGHT SCENE SLAPS!!!!! IT GOES REALLY HARD!!!! RWBY’s fight scenes have not been the best as of late but this one really showcased skills well and actually showed improvement in characters and I love it!!! The music backing it was also amazing and went with the fight very well.

Before I get into all the good things about this scene, I will first point out that this is the scene that starts the trend of Ren ignoring Nora for no forseeable reason. I’ll get into why I personally believe this is bad writing next time.

This fight scene shows us that Jaune has improved and boy am I proud of him!!! He’s really out here doing it and Pyrrha would be proud! I love that he’s more confident in his fighting ability now.

Qrow in this scene is so good. Like literally so fucking good and he only fights for like five seconds. In volumes after the Qrow vs Winter fight I feel that his fighting style has been slightly janky in the fact that RT wasn’t sure how to create another style for a sycthe wielder that wasn’t Ruby. I find that he’s always been a bit more of an elegant fighter, whereas Ruby is far more agressive and offensive. In the Tyrian fight we really see Qrow almost fighting back and forth with his own fighting style and Ruby’s fighting style (which is probably where that ridiculous ballerina move came from) and the same thing happens on the fight on top of the train, where he ends up looking absolutely ridiculous mirroring Ruby’s spinning move in order to slice the manticore in half. Here, however, we get to see Qrow being far less offensive than Ruby and significantly more calm about his fighting tactics- which is what he should’ve always been acting like, being that he’s a seasoned huntsman. Qrow lets the Grimm come to him instead of going for them, and when they do come to him he transitions flawlessly from broadsword to sycthe all the way to punching!!! Which is literally so cool, I’m glad that he’s also a hands on fighter, it’s nice to see a huntsman that doesn’t rely solely on their weapon and also I just like watching him punch things.

Now that I’m done gushing about Qrow, I will mention that it’s nice that Ruby’s own fighting style doesn’t directly mirror her teachers. And though this is probably more of what I had mentioned in Qrow’s paragraph than it is intentional, I’ve decided to call it intentional because it’d be a nice touch if it was. She’s also improved, much like Jaune we see her being more confident in her abilities as well as utilizing her semblance effectively and efficiently in a fight.

Anyways I cannot sing enough praise for that fight scene, it would definitely be in my top ten fight scenes list.

Ah... Penny. Now, what I’m going to say next will make people hate me, I swear on it. But I don’t think Penny should have come back. I love penny as much as the next person, I mean Penny 2.0 is on my star RWBY amity arena team, but her return doesn’t do much good to me. It reverses a lot of the effect of grim, dark times that season three had. By reviving Penny, you open the concept of everything that happened in that season being reversible, and this is only reinforced by Ruby’s lack luster reaction to Penny returning. Instead of crying, or even being confused, Ruby was surprised for five seconds and then went back to living life normally. I get it, she’s a robot, but hers and Ruby’s bond was supposed to be one of Ruby’s motivators to defeat Salem because Salem and been behind the death of her friends and the damage of her sister. When one of those motivations is just reversed it feels less real, with a proper reaction to Penny returning, this effect could have maybe not happened, but because of Ruby’s lacking response, viewers are now left thinking, ‘well... I mean that means phyrra can come back right?’ Or ‘well I mean I guess the fall of beacon wasn’t that big of a deal anyways’. Also, this is more of a pet peeve, but I don’t like her new outfit. Like what happened to her old outfit and why does she look like she’s a frilly little dress up doll now? I’ll probably make a separate post complaining about all my least favorite outfits and favorite outfits at a later junction.

Mmm the Ace Ops. As characters they’re interesting, though I’ll talk about that more when I get to episode two and three, but in this first episode it’s more their actions that annoy me. The fact that they just ignore the mention of one of the people they brought down being lisenced is really obnoxious to me. Like, atleast have Lucy Luciano or whatever his name is acknowledge Qrow’s comment instead of just ignoring it? Any response would’ve been fine, even a cheesy ‘anything you say will and can be used against you’. (I have later remembered that his name is Clover and I just keep forgetting his name it was just too funny to take the Lucky Luciano part out)

Ruby also struggles to speak throughout this entire interaction for some reason? She’s not gagged, so I’m not entirely sure why she stutters and struggles to talk the entire time, it’s slightly strange.

Last but not least- the thing that makes me the angriest about this episode! Maria just... leaves. No snarky comment, nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not Maria’s #1 fan and I always felt there was a better way to teach Ruby about her silver eyes, but this has got to be the laziest removal of a character I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Let me show you an example of how this interaction could’ve gone:

Clover: Ma’am, you can return to your home, you’re safe now.

Maria: Yep. That’s what I’ll do.

We get to see Clover’s pretentious personality even more, and Maria gets to keep her only personality trait of being an annoying old bitch by completely ignoring the team and just going about her life. Which is fine! I don’t for the life of me understand why they did things this way, it’s so confusing to me. The kids don’t even mention Maria’s absence in later episodes, it’s almost like she wasn’t there in the first place. Which stands to show that she probably never should’ve been there. If they were going to do anything with her character, it quite frankly should’ve just been Qrow recounting a tale he heard of about the Grimm Reaper since he supposedly looked up to her so much.

And there we have it, with the doors closing and leaving our hero’s trapped in a transport for prisoners, we’ve completed our review of RWBY volume 7, episode 1, the Greatest Kingdom. Overall, a strong first episode with a great first episode fight, but not the best first episode we’ve ever seen. From this episode we’ve gathered that:

•It’s very possible Ironwood will betray the team at some point

•There will likely be a moment with either Weiss or Blake (or both) where they confront abuse with themselves or Faunus (or, once again, both)

Thank you for reading!

[aqueenpromised-blog]

AYO ANOTHER MASTER TAG

I saved these tags separately because one lovely human bean, @rhysfcyre , tagged me in everything ten hundred years ago so I’m finally getting to of course ♡♡

THE LAST  1. drink: cafe con leche  2. phone call: my best friend 3. text message: my best friend  4. song you listened to: Touch My Body by Mariah Carey  5. time you cried: last month so much but I can’t recall a more recent time  6. dated someone twice: fuck no  7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. been cheated on: yes  9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes ??  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: one fucking time it was very anti-climatic I woke up felt sick and threw up in the bathroom then went back to sleep

3 favorite colors

12. black  13. off-white  14.  light brown 

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: kinda  17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: no ??  19. met someone who changed you: yes  20. found out who your friends are: yes 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: not on my Facebook anymore  general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them  23. do you have any pets: yes, my little fat cat  24. do you want to change your name: no, i use to because for some reason people can say my name right but i’m over it  25. what did you do for your last birthday: my old friends and my ex threw me a surprise birthday party at the park that was cat themed my ex even wore a cat onesie  26. what time did you wake up: 9.00 AM 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleep, I took my melatonin and went to sleep  28. name something you can’t wait for: I’M LEAVING TO NEW YORK NEXT MONTH FOR DRAGCON I’M GONNA SCREAM  29. when was the last time you saw your mom: next question ♡♡ 31. what are you listening to right now: She’s Learning to Roll!  32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no  33. something that is getting on your nerves: anything when I’m hungry I turn into a monster 34. most visited website: youtube  35. hair colour: black  36. long or short hair: long 37. do you have a crush on someone: hahahaha, no  38. what do you like about yourself: I’m pretty chill  39. piercings: septum, tongue, cartilage, surface triages, and  first and second lobes 40. blood type: A positive, I think ? 41. nickname: Nachita ♡♡ 42. relationship status: single ♡ 43. zodiac: Aquarius  44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: ash vs evil dead, twin peaks, tales from the crypt, and american horror story 46. tattoos: none yet  47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: three years ago in my ovaries to a remove a cyst  49. piercing: please refer to above  50. sport: hahaha                51. vacation: I usually I don’t go anywhere crazy but I’d love to go to Europe  52. pair of trainers: I got some good semi new ones from goodwill :D  MORE GENERAL 53. eating: i don’t think i’ve had anything yet  54. drinking: agua  55. i’m about to: redo my tumblr theme and then clean  56. waiting for: my best friend to wake up  57. want: to get a second job                                                                                           58. get married: at this point probably not gonna happen haha  59. career: I’m pre-med right now but I’m not sure if that’s what I really want  WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: kisses  61. lips or eyes: lips 62. shorter or taller: taller 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant  HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no 70. turned someone down: yes 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: yes 73. had your heart broken: yes 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: yes 78. miracles: no 79. love at first sight: nope 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: nope  82. angels: no  OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: jackie  84. eye colour: brown 85. favourite movie: that’s so hard: Sleepaway Camp, Bride of Chucky, Silence of The Lambs, Evil Dead 2, The Conjuring series, Pans Labyrinth, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 1971

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing ( i have multiple ) 

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

There is something I would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin

I am an introvert

I like meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges ( it depends on the challenge lol ) 

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

Fandoms are my #1 passion

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship

I have a celebrity crush

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year (if this is past tense)

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages fluently 

I have made a new friend in the past year

rules: put your top ten favorite tv shows below, and then write your favorite female character, favorite male character, and otp from each show and then tag ten people. 

1. ASH VS. EVIL DEAD 

- Kelly 

- Ashley 

- Amanda Fisher and Ash ( I don’t know their ship name )

2. TWIN PEAKS 

- Kimmy and Donna 

- Agent Cooper and  Deputy Andy ( fight me I do what I want )

- James and Donna or Andy and Kimmy 

3. AMERICAN HORROR STORY 

- Sister Jude Martin and Cordelia Foxx and Marie Laveau 

- Kit Walker and Liz Taylor 

- Kit and Alma ♡♡

4. BIG BROTHER 19

- Elena

- Paul 

- Mark and Elena 

5. DOCTOR WHO 

- Donna Noble 

- Matt Smith 11th Doctor 

- Rory and Amelia 

6. RUPAUL DRAG RACE 

- Katya Zamolodchikova and Trixie Mattel 

- Bianca Del Rio, Alyssa Edwards, and Bob TheDragQueen 

- Sharon Needles and Alaska Thunderfuck ; Katya Zamolodchikova and Trixie Mattel 

7. Friends

- Monica 

- Chandler 

- Monica and Chandler 

8. Orange is the new black

- Poussey and Alex

- HAHA NEXT QUESTION PLS

- Poussey and Taystee 

( I don’t watch that much television so i’m gonna end it here D; ) 

[youremyonlyhope]

The Doctor Falls

I am REALLY glad I took a week off from checking my dashboard because I was not aware that last week was the season finale of Doctor Who. I was like "I missed episode 12, there’s 13 episodes in each season, so I guess this season finale’s a 3-parter again and it ends next week! So I can catch up before the finale!”

But NOPE. IT WAS THE FINALE. THIS SEASON ONLY HAD 12 EPISODES. I MISSED THE DOCTOR WHO FINALE. WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT. I AM SO GLAD I DECIDED TO MAKE SURE TO AVOID SPOILERS THIS WEEK. OH MY GOD.

Though I did get spoiled for something a few days ago, but I can’t remember what it was right now. Which is good. It’s basically almost like I wasn’t spoiled at all.

On that note. Guys. Just putting “Spoilers!” in the title or in the text of your post isn’t enough, please tag things as “Doctor Who Spoilers” or “DW Spoilers”. Or at least put the spoilers under Read More.

Ok. Time for the Doctor Who finale. Which obviously, since I didn’t know it was the finale until just now before starting this episode, I am not at all ready for it. I thought I had another week to mentally prepare for this but nope. I mean, since I’m watching it a week later I guess I had an extra week, but I mean an extra week where I’d KNOW I’d be watching the finale in a week.

Let’s see if my wifi will work with me for the hour and a half it will take to watch this episode. Super bad quality, took forever to buffer, so far it’s only kinda working. Ugh. UMM. UMMMM. UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. THE CYBERMEN ARE ON THOSE THINGS THAT HOLD UP SCARECROWS. THIS IS FAMILY OF BLOOD ALL OVER AGAIN. UMMMMMMMM THE SKY ISN’T REALLY SKY.... UMMM THE NICE MOTHERLY LADY HAS A GUN NOW. OH HELL NAH THAT’S TERRIFYING THEY’RE LIMPING TOWARDS THEM. “IT’S THE SCARECROWS. NEW ONES.” UMMMMMMM NAH. AND THEY JUST HANG UP THE BODIES? WHAT THE HELL. This music is very Old Who based on the few Old Who episodes I’ve seen. That makes me kind of happy. OK. HAPPINESS FROM THE MUSIC IS GONE BECAUSE BILL IS CARRYING THE DOCTOR’S LIMP BODY. While the opening credits are playing I just need to say, Capaldi, I am going to miss you so much. So so so much. I adored Capaldi’s Doctor. He was amazing. I love him so much. I miss him so much already. Missy, girl, I had so much hope for you. I’m enjoying this Master Missy banter though. “Ten years, you spent up there, chatting. You missed her by 2 hours.” THAT’S HORRIBLE. Prepare for a lot of capslock in this post. I hear the music again. From last episode. “This is Gallifrey” I think? “You two, you should know by now, when you’re winning, and I’m in the room, you’re missing something.” THAT IS AN AMAZING QUOTE TO DESCRIBE THE DOCTOR. YES. “Knock yourself out.” *Missy knocks out the Master* MISSY YES GIRL. BILL YES GIRL. Ok but what I can’t get my brain around is like... going from floor to floor is technically time travel... which is amazing... but they’re REALLY stuck... because of time...  UMM. BILL. GIRL. WHY ARE YOU NORMAL SUDDENLY?! Oh. She’s imagining herself as normal. Great. JELLY BABY. SO MUCH OLD WHO. DO ALL CYBERMEN SEE THEMSELVES AS THEIR OLD SELVES AT FIRST? She’s crying real tears! Fuck you, Master. I usually don’t hate you. But oh my god. I mean. At least the monotone voice hides emotion... Gotta take a moment to say the Pearl is literally tearing my heart out of my chest and shredding it so, good for you girl. DOCTOR. DOCTOR. YOU’RE PUSHING OFF YOUR REGENERATION. AGAIN. THAT’S NOT GOOD.

Master: “Do as she says.” Is the future going to be all girl? Me: Hopefully. Doctor: We can only hope. Me: YES!

ALSO COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE FORESHADOWING A WOMAN PLAYING THE DOCTOR IN THE FUTURE!? Also all this “Why don’t you remember this?” stuff better not be foreshadowing that Missy isn’t really the Master or something. Because I know lots of (sexist) Missy haters theorize that she’s not. I don’t want them to be right. I’m not even a Missy lover but I’ll be really angry if they reveal like “oh lol haha we lied she’s not really the Master lol gotcha.” OK WAIT. HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED HER SONIC IS HER UMBRELLA? HAVE I REALLY NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO HER? OH NO THE CYBERMEN HAVE ADVANCED A LOT SINCE WE LEFT THEM. I do like the contrast of Bill’s old school Cyberman vs the new one though. SO WE’RE TRULY TARDIS-LESS IN THIS EPISODE. MORE TARDIS-LESS THAN EVER BEFORE REALLY. SINCE THE... YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN’T EVEN ARTICULATE THIS. I WAS GONNA SAY “SINCE THE TARDIS IS IN THE PAST” BUT IT’S NOT. IT’S JUST MOVING SLOWER THAN THEM AND THEY’RE MOVING SLOWER THAN THE CYBERMEN. IT’S HARD TO ARTICULATE WHAT’S HAPPENING. THAT’S HOW TARDIS-LESS WE ARE RIGHT NOW. GREAT. OH. OH. OH THAT’S JUST GREAT. THEY’RE JUST GONNA FLY UP AND THROUGH THE LEVELS. COOL. GREAT. FANTASTIC. THIS IS FUN.

Pausing to let it buffer a bit because my wifi hates me again. But oh my god the stakes are high with no TARDIS and a billion cybermen essentially manually time traveling to get to them.

WAIT. THE PEOPLE SEE A GIANT NUMBER IN THE SKY. AND DON’T KNOW THAT THIS IS A SPACE SHIP!? IT REALLY HAS BEEN A LONG TIME. PEOPLE. PASS DOWN YOUR FAMILY HISTORIES. PLEASE. THEY COME IN HANDY. LIKE IF FOR INSTANCE YOU LIVE ON A SPACE SHIP AND IT’S IMPORTANT FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS TO KNOW ABOUT IT. AND IF THEY DON’T KNOW THIS IS A SPACE SHIP, WHAT DO THEY THINK ABOUT THE CYBERMEN WHO MAKE IT UP THERE AND LIMP THROUGH? WHAT DO THEY THINK ABOUT THEM? AND WHAT MADE THEM START MAKING THEM INTO SCARECROWS? WHAT?! I mean the Master knows he gets out of this somehow since his future self is talking to him about it and doesn’t really remember it at all. MISSY YOU GENIUS. PARADOXES ARE GREAT. “I’ll try anything once.” Girl. Don’t. No.  They should really give Bill a scarf or something to differentiate her from the others... Though now all of them are newer so it’s easier, but still. Oh poor Bill. See. She’s upset. GOD POOR BILL THIS IS BREAKING MY HEART. That speech. Capaldi. I’m gonna miss you SO SO SO MUCH. God. I would not want to be the actor who has to follow Capaldi. He has some big shoes to fill. See, you know it’s gotten bad when something the Master said (”this is a face that didn’t listen to a word you just said”) that would normally be funny in any other episode, isn’t funny at all, not in the slightest, not at all, nope. It’s just disappointing. Not even like “oh haha” way, it’s just like... sad. ...Did she slip him the missing piece of the Master’s TARDIS...  Why are they in a pointy formation instead of a rectangular one? OK WAIT. OK. WAIT. WHY IS THIS GIVING ME MAJOR DEJA VU. ALIT HOLDING THE APPLE IN FRONT OF THE CYBERMEN. IT’S REMINDING ME OF SOMETHING. I’VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. OR SOMETHING SIMILAR. I THINK. IT’S JUST REALLY GIVING ME DEJA VU RIGHT NOW.

Doctor: I won’t do that until I’ve left. Me: Ok Doctor don’t lie Nardole: Liar, it can’t be done remotely. Me: See there we go.

Bill’s gonna volunteer to watch over the humans isn’t she? Oh no she’s gonna explode with the Doctor instead. Why. I would have preferred her watching over them forever, and all the humans loving her despite her being a Cyberman, and me crying tears of happiness that she’s accepted and sadness that we won’t see Bill again. OH NARDOLE. OH I’M GETTING EMOTIONAL ALREADY. So... I literally can’t tell if this cause of death would be considered a suicide or not... that’s like.. only half a joke... Ok... why do I feel like Bill’s “Glad you knew that” meant something else... or was it just to trick the audience into thinking “oh no another companion developed a crush on the Doctor”? So... double suicide...? Ummm... tell me Missy isn’t dead for good... right? There’s only 15 minutes left... so what’s gonna happen... Did he say Canary Wharf? The captions miss random words sometimes. Yep he’s reciting everything the Cyberman failed at. Also, I had forgotten about the time there were Cybermen on the moon. HEY DOCTOR. I FORBID YOU TO REGENERATE RIGHT NOW. OK NOW THERE’S 10 MINUTES LEFT AND EVERYTHING’S BLOWN UP WHAT’S LEFT TO HAPPEN!???!?! “Pity, no stars. I’d hoped there’d be stars.” WHY IS THIS MAKING ME SO SAD. NARDOLE’S STUCK HERE FOREVER NOW. I’M REALLY EMOTIONAL. See. I assumed it was snow last episode when we saw the Doctor start to regenerate. But nope. I guess it’s ash. Oh Bill. IS SHE GONNA DO IT? IS SHE GONNA FLY HIM UP TO THE TARDIS OR SOMETHING? WAIT. WHAT. WHAT THE HELL. IT’S THE GIRL. WHAT. IT’S WHAT’S HER FACE. HEATHER RIGHT? OH MY GOD. SHE REALLY FOLLOWED HER EVERYWHERE IN SPACE AND TIME. WHAT. OH MY GOD. I JUST GASPED. “LEFT YOU MY TEARS, REMEMBER?” I LEGIT LET OUT A GASP. I don’t know how I feel bout Heather coming out of nowhere like this but like... I can’t complain. THANK GOD FOR HEATHER AND HER CRAZY TIME TRAVELING LOCATION JUMPING WATER. I HOPE I SEE YOU AGAIN TOO BILL. So that’s 2 companions of the Doctor who are now traveling through time and space with an immortal girl(friend). MARTHA. THAT WAS MY MARTHA. “I DON’T WANT TO GO” AND WHAT WAS THAT SONTARAN QUOTE? ANOTHER LAST LINE A DOCTOR? “WHEN THE DOCTOR” WAS ME!?!?!?!?!? IS HE GONNA SAY WAS ME????? “WHEN THE DOCTOR WAS ME.” DJSAKFJDFJSAKFDLSAFDSAJFDJSA No? You can just say... No? And you don’t regenerate? Is it Earth? BELLS??? OH SO IT WAS SNOW, NOT ASH. UMM. WHAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHO IS THAT. OOOOOOOOH IT’S HIM. IT’S HIM. DID I HEAR ABOUT DAVID BRADLEY BEING IN AN EPISODE THIS SEASON? I FEEL LIKE I DID. OH MY GOD. “THE ORIGINAL. YOU MIGHT SAY.” “THE DOCTORS WILL RETURN AT CHRISTMAS.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I WANT TO CRY.

Ok I gotta get up and walk away for a minute just...

Me: *Says I’m gonna go calm down for a minute.* Me: *Instead freaks out even more over everything.*

I just went and fangirled to my dad about David Bradley for like 5 straight minutes because he’s the only person awake and I needed to get these feels out verbally. And then just about the episode in general for another 5 minutes. Oh my god. This is too much for 2am.

I just can’t put into words how excited I am. Because David Bradley blew me completely away in An Adventure in Space and Time and we get to see him as the First Doctor and just... oh my god. Oh my god.

Heather coming back for Bill seems almost deus ex machina like but she did leave her her tears and Bill the cyberman cried tears so like whatever, I get it. But believe me, Heather was the LAST person I expected to see. If we had had puddles hidden everywhere throughout the season, that would have been better since there would have been constant hints. Unless... there were puddles everywhere... and no one noticed... or at least I didn’t notice... because puddles are so subtle and common... Am I going to have to rewatch this entire season and look for puddles now?

I’m rereading my post about The Pilot just to see what my thoughts were the first time and I had apparently noticed that there was a picture of Susan on his desk next to River’s, so WERE THEY FORESHADOWING THE FIRST DOCTOR RETURNING FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!? OH MY GOD.

Ok basically. I wish Bill wasn’t leaving. I adored Bill. She needs to come back. At some point. I liked Heather, so once I got over the initial “WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING” aspect of her return I was happy. And I’m glad that Bill doesn’t have to suffer as a Cyberman for the rest of her life, she gets to go off and travel the universe as an immortal puddle with her immortal puddle girlfriend. Yeah. My only complaint really is that she shouldn’t have been able to fly the TARDIS; “I’m the pilot” doesn’t feel like enough of an explanation.

As for the Doctor. Oh Doctor. I wanted to cry. But then the First Doctor came out of nowhere and I need to go see if I can rewatch that scene on YouTube or something because now it’s all a blur of me just freaking out and silently screaming.

Oh wow. The clip is only a minute and 20 seconds long. It felt like a lifetime. Time honestly slowed down when I watched this the first time.

AHHHH I DIDN’T NOTICE HIM GRABBING THE LAPELS OF HIS COAT. YES. YES DAVID BRADLEY. YES. GOD. THEY LITERALLY COULD NOT HAVE PICKED ANYONE BETTER TO PLAY HIM. OH MY GOD.

CHRISTMAS. YOU’RE MAKING ME WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS. That was actually my first thought when I had closed this post in order to “calm down” for a minute. I literally pressed save draft, and then looked into space, and whisper/screamed “...Christmas?!?!?!?!” HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS?! THAT’S IN ALMOST 6 MONTHS. COME ON. But this means Capaldi gets to stay the Doctor for 6 more months and that’s fantastic.

On that note. Honestly, you guys should all congratulate me on how well I avoided spoilers. I didn’t even know this was the finale, so I’m REALLY glad I picked this episode of all episodes to be like “Nope. Not going on my dashboard because I follow people who like to post spoilers without tagging them. I’ll just avoid my dashboard until I have time to watch the episode” and that was almost a week later. Wow.

Also I never remembered what it was about this episode that I was spoiled for earlier this week, so my brain blocked something out correctly for once.

IN ALL THAT CRAZINESS, I LITERALLY HAD FORGOTTEN THAT MISSY DIED. UM. THAT CAN’T BE THE END OF THE MASTER’S REGENERATIONS RIGHT?

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

Like Me

Request: If you haven't already written something similar, and if you are up for it: what about a story where the crew of the enterprise meet another person who is part human and part Vulcan, but they were raised by their human family members and they know very little about vulcans, so Spock tries to explain it to them. Sort of a Nature Vs Nurture kind of thing? - Anonymous 

A/N: I loved this! I have so many thoughts on this that I couldn’t fit in. Nature vs. nurture is one of my favorite topics especially when it involves aliens. 

People walked leisurely about the promenade. They moved in small groups, chatting and going in and out of stores. You weaved between them, doing your best to avoid having to shove your way past anyone. The clock sounded to let you know once again that you were going to be late. A hushed curse fell from your lips as your feet kept up their steady pace across the metal floor. Finally reaching the lift, you screeched to a halt.

The ride to the docks was short but provided enough time for you to catch your breath and adjust your uniform. You knew a professional appearance twenty minutes late in the game was about as good as slapping some duct tape on a broken engine and calling it fixed, but you still weren’t going to go out there looking like you just got out of a particularly sloppy session of seven minutes in heaven. As soon as the doors opened you picked up a brisk pace. You didn’t stop again until you reached the ship you were looking for. The U.S.S Enterprise. If the situation had been different, you would have taken a moment to admire how impressive she was. But instead of the state of the art technology catching your eye, a pair of men did. One was pacing back and forth with his jaw clenched tightly. His impatience was evident, but his co-worker however, simply stood at the entrance. He was completely blank.

Holding your station required that your deal with quite a few people who were impatient or angry with you, but this? This blankness was something new.

“Good afternoon,” you greeted the men, coming forward, “So sorry I’m late. You would not believe the week we’ve had. We’ve been having dealing with a bit of an outbreak of thought controlling parasites. Fascinating but somewhat troublesome.” Shifting your PADD from your right hand to your left, your stuck out your hand for the blond man in yellow to shake. “Captain Kirk I presume?”

Giving your hand a firm shake, he nodded, “Yes. This is my lead science officer, Commander Spock.”

You felt yourself straighten up, your eyes widen, and your mouth fall open slightly as you turned to look at his associate. Your hands dropped to your sides, causing them to swing a bit. You were sure you must have looked like a child, but you couldn’t help it. And you couldn’t do anything but gape at him for far longer than what was considered appropriate.

“Do you need a minute?” Kirk’s voice came through the slight haze that had filled your mind.

You shook your head, getting the thoughts loose and your head clear. “Sorry. I’m not usually this unprofessional.” The moment you were set free from your trance, you could feel the heat start to rise to your cheeks. You knew that there was a noticeable green tint by now. “I’ve just never met anyone like me before.”

“You’ve never met another Vulcan?” Spock asked.

A smile stretched across your face, barely containing a laugh.

You weren’t sure exactly what it was about the question that was partially funny. It was a genuine question. He had every reason to ask it given the circumstances. It took you less than a second to realise it wasn’t what he had asked. It was the way he had asked it. He was completely emotionless. From his face to his voice. Just like in the bedtime stories your dad used to tell you.

“No, I haven’t, but that’s not what I meant,” your smile shrank slightly as you fought to remain businesslike, “I’m only half Vulcan. Half human. Like you.”

He raised his brows. Then nodded like he understood. “I assume you were raised by humans?”

“That’s correct.” The businesslike state had lost the battle once again, leaving you with a giddy grin and a slight bounce that you could do nothing to contain.

“Ok, if neither of you are gonna say it, I will,” Kirk said, taking a half step between the two of you, “this is really weird.”

A laugh bubbled out of you, clearly shocking both of them, “Captain, we live in space. This doesn’t even make it on to my list of weird things to happen today.”

“Well, it’s weird for me.”

“It’s amazing for me,” you beamed, “I want to know everything. Your people- our people. Your- our culture. Your planet. I want to hear about all it.” The cool weight in your hand suddenly became noticeable to you again and you glanced down at your PADD, pulling it up to rest on your rib cage. “After you show me the sample.”

“I think teaching you about our culture would be beneficial.” Spock motioned for you to enter the ship.

You chewed on the edge of your lip as your eyes moved back and forth across the screens set up before you. Every ten minutes or so another person was coming up to you with a new piece of information or PADD for you to sign and over half of them came from the infirmary. If the note passing wasn’t keeping you from your work enough as it was, you would have gone down there to have a few words with the good doctor.

A presence behind you caused your attention to falter. It wasn’t someone you knew. That was all you could tell without turning around. You had always had an innate ability to sense who was around you even if you couldn’t see them. Something that never failed to unnerve your friends.

“It’s creepy to watch people like that,” you informed whoever it was behind you, while you finished filling out the form you had been working on.

“Not as creepy as when you act like you have eyes in the back of your head,” the tactical officer jibbed, handing you the passenger and cargo reports. His remark earned him a quick glare accompanied by a scrunched up nose from you.

“My apologies,” Spock’s voice sounded, “I did not want to disturb you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know it was you, Commander.” You got to your feet so that you could face him. With your back pressed into your station you studied him. You couldn’t imagine ever being that emotionless or getting used to being around someone who was. “I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you doing in major operations?”

“I’m looking for you.” When you seemed surprised by this response, he continued, “Your Commander told me you were here. You were supposed to meet me on the promenade for lunch half an hour ago.”

“Oh.” You handed a the form to an ensign along with a strong warning for the doctor. “I got a little caught up. Still dealing with that outbreak.”

“Would you like to eat now?”

“Love to,” you grinned.

“Are you finally taking your lunch break?” the tactical officer asked, watching you go to join the other Vulcan with the smallest of smirks on his face.

“I would have been able to take it early, if you had done your job right, you squashed banana,” you accused. You saw his smirk falter as you stepped onto the lift, which only made one slide onto your own face. Rolling your shoulders to loosen them up after hours of work, you looked at Spock. “Have you ever had Acamarian food?”

“I cannot say that I have.” He had straightened up during the brief conversation with your co-workers. Every muscle stiffening ever so slightly. He barely looked at you and when he did it was only out of the corner of his eye as if looking at you fully would cause some kind of damage to his retinas. The fact that you made him uncomfortable was painfully clear to you, even if he was great at suppressing his emotions. You tried not to take it personally.

“You’re gonna love it. They haven’t been here for long and I doubt they’ll be here much longer- kinda cultural flakes - but their foods pretty good.” Your dad had mentioned that Vulcans weren’t big on talking. Now you were seeing first hand that he was right. Unfortunately, you felt the need to compensate for his silence by talking more. And he was letting you.

It wasn’t until you had made it through the line and had to stop to order your food that you were finally able to put a halt to the word vomit you had been spewing. This was not going nearly as well as you had hopped it would.

“Lieutenant,” Spock’s voice voice was more tentative than it had been. You knew he wanted to ask you something even before you looked up from the food you had been pushing around your plate.

“You can call me (Y/N). This is pretty informal,” you smiled, lowering your fork and resting your forearms on the table.

“(Y/N),” he complied to the correction. “I do not understand how you have not met a Vulcan before. There are plenty at the academy.”

“I didn’t go to Starfleet Academy,” you shrugged, reaching for your glass. “After my dad decided he didn’t want to live or raise me on Vulcan, we lived on his research ship until he thought I need something more concrete and we moved to the planet below. I went to the Science Academy there. Graduated top of my class. Guess that’s what happens when you spend your whole life doing the job your major is training you for,” you joked, running your thumb up and down the side of your cup. “I came to work here when my lab ran out of funding.”

“You were born on Vulcan?”

“Yeah, I was.” You were finding it hard to look at Spock instead of down at your food, but you forced yourself to anyways. “What was it like? My dad… he didn’t really like to talk about it. At least not honestly.”

He looked down at his hands, clearly struggling to find the words to best answer your question. “It was strict,” he said, after half a beat, looking back up to you, “Everything had a proper way to be done.”

“Damn.” You dropped your head down to rest on your hand. “And here I was thinking Vulcan was the party planet.”

“It takes years of training for us to not be… what is the term you would use? ‘Party animals’?” he told you as straight faced as ever.

A snort escaped you. “Yes, that’s the term, but I’m going to have to ask you for the good of the universe not to use it again,” you laughed. “I’m also going to have to ask you to tell me all about this anti-party training.”

You scooted closer, looking at him intently. Spock took the incredibly unsubtle hint and started talking. He started at the beginning, with how their children were raised. The longer you talked the more comfortable you felt. Every couple sentences you would interject with a question, making sure you soaked up as much information about your shared culture as possible.

When the sound of your communicator interrupted his explanation on the Vulcan betrothal ritual, your face fell. The second it went off you knew what it meant, and you got the feeling that Spock did too.

“(L/N),” you said as you held the reservoir up.

“You’re needed in command.”

Taking a breath, you fought the urge to curse. “I’ll be there right away.” You snapped your com shut and gave Spock a half smile, “Duty calls. This was really nice. It’s different hearing it from you than reading it on the Starfleet database. Thank you.”

“If you have the time later, I have scripts on the katra that I believe you would be interested in,” he told you.

A full grin stretched across your face as you got up. “I would love that.”

“I would also like to hear about how you have been able to keep your emotions in control without suppression them.”

“I was taught to channel them into something good.” You picked up you tray. “But, um, don’t look at my record to double check that.” You winked and walked off.

The sense of belonging you already got from this one man was almost overpowering. It was something you had never felt before. It felt like he finally was putting puzzle pieces in their place. You felt light and at peace and you knew you would never be able to repay him for that.

[fountainpenguin]

Hey, you said a bit ago that you actually prefer "ChalkZone" to "Danny Phantom". Reasons?

It’s completely a matter of personal preference. I really like both shows, but the former squeaks past the latter. “Danny Phantom” is plot-oriented, “ChalkZone” is more world-building oriented (You can see right from the titles where the focus of the show is placed). 

So yeah, I was a bit disappointed that DP didn’t explain the Ghost Zone as much as I felt it could have. We just don’t know a lot about the flora and fauna there, or the nature of ghosts (especially the ones with less shape and character) or energy or how different ghost powers work… 

“ChalkZone” is HUGE on world-building, which is exactly what I would expect and want from a show about an alternate universe. In fact, I wrote a strangely popular post about some highlights of “ChalkZone” world-building that you can find here. I’d struggle to do the same thing with “Danny Phantom”. 

And no fantasy plant will ever beat ChalkZone’s eyeball plants that record what they see on film strip roots and that crawl into the host’s eye sockets and manipulate the way said host views the world until they reach the place where they want to deposit their seeds. Remember Sam’s comment in “Memory Blank” of “Who wishes for evil plants?!?” Yep, that’s “ChalkZone”. All the time.

You may notice on KissCartoon that the “ChalkZone” episodes air in sets of four. Each link contains two main episodes that cover Rudy and the main plot, and then the third one is always a slice-of-life episode about Snap’s life in ChalkZone when Rudy isn’t around. It’s pure world-building. He even has his own television show, “Snap Shots”, which doesn’t come up a lot but always covers world-building when it does, like taking the viewer on a tour to describe ChalkZone plants, animals, and even the life of Skrawl and the Beanie Boys at their training camp. It’s exactly the kind of thing I adore. The fourth “episode” is always a one-minute song, which is a little weird, but okay.

Character-wise, “ChalkZone” is very great too. They were never shy about portraying the main characters as jerks. Regularly. Heck, one of the reoccurring plot points is that Rudy views himself as the One True Defender of ChalkZone, despite the fact that the Zoners never asked him to be their guardian and many wish he would just go away and leave them alone.

I like how in “Danny Phantom”, Sam and Tucker are good friends who love and hang out with one another even when Danny isn’t around. But “ChalkZone” is as opposite as you can get without splintering the trio up. Snap and Penny got on one another’s nerves from the beginning, and although they can put their differences aside and work together, they never learned to love (or even like) each other as much as Sam and Tucker do. It’s a very interesting portrayal.

Not to say that DP isn’t heavy on characters too, because it is and I appreciate it. Some of the characters (super-judgmental Sam) just weren’t my favorites. And DP is too heavy on romance for my personal tastes.

Compare with “ChalkZone”, where platonic friendships are the major focus. Despite meeting for the first time in an episode named “Rudy’s First Date”, Rudy and Penny show little romantic attraction to one another until Season 3, when they were watching their doofus duplicates (the “doofi”) flirt with one another, and Penny reminded Rudy that “They’re nothing like us”, and Rudy’s reply was, “Yeah, [unlike Doofus Penny], you really are a genius”, and she came back with, “And you have genuine artistic talent”, and they just scuffed the ground and smiled while Snap sat there being grossed out.

It was very sweet, and the show moved on without bringing it up again for that episode, or in the high majority of the remaining episodes (even when they go dancing together, it’s mostly platonic and they never become canon- that’s even a Snap-centric episode, so we don’t even see the two dance!). And I mean, when Penny tries to kiss Rudy in “The Smooch”, he bolts, and only returns out of necessity to lift the “smooch curse” off her. It’s great. 

Though to be fair, “Danny Phantom” involves high schoolers and “ChalkZone” is about ten-year-olds. It would be more surprising if DP brushed completely past all romance. But I just really appreciated the way it was handled in the latter show- I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a less romantic kiss between two cartoon leads than Penny tackling Rudy into a giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich and having it snap shut on them. 

The show just didn’t make a big deal out of romance - no dangling ship-bait, no love triangles, basically none of what “Star vs. The Forces of Evil” is doing right now that makes me cringe - so that’s something that means a lot to me.

These two shows are similar in that they both involve heroes, portals, alternate universes, and a main trio. In both shows, the real world starts off not knowing about the existence of this alternate universe, but slowly becomes aware of it- the people in the real world don’t lampshade their encounters with entities from the other one at all!

But put side by side, I’ll pick “ChalkZone” every time. Not only is it easier for me to buy into the idea of magic chalk that can easily fall into the wrong hands than a boy whose molecules got rearranged after contact with radioactive electricity, but I just can’t resist the absolute world-building focus. My love.

I just haven’t come up with any good ‘fic or drawing ideas, that’s all. With TD, FOP, and DP, I get bothered that after all these years, there are so few ‘fics related to some really cool characters despite the size and activity of their fandoms. I like to fix that. “ChalkZone” is just a super small fandom as it is, so it’s never surprising if characters I like get glossed over. Doesn’t bother me.

I guess what I’m saying is, it’s sad watching my favorite characters get dragged through the dirt so many times (with “Total Drama” especially). But with “ChalkZone”? Does anyone even hate any character in “ChalkZone”? They’re all so adorable! Did you see “Poison Pen Letter”? That’s such an amazing episode that portrays Rudy’s Wrath and recklessness, and renders Michelle Norwegiano perhaps the best “popular girl” cartoon character ever.

I need to draw Rudy’s parents. His dad is a butcher and his mom is an opera singer, and they are amazing. Ooh, and I need to draw Penny and Chloe. They both come from veterinary families, so they’d probably get along great! And I just remembered that “Mother Tongue” was the episode where Penny has a breakdown because of all the pressure her mom puts her under, and they talk it out. I think I might be uncovering the reasons I liked Chloe from the start.

“ChalkZone” is weird in that it was so perfect, no one writes fanfics about it because most AUs can easily be treated as something that could actually happen, and there weren’t plot holes for people to point out and/or correct. One of the only plot holes I can think of is why Rudy never drew another magic chalk mine, but that in itself is countered by the ideas that you don’t want the chalk falling into the wrong hands, and the hints that magic chalk is different from other chalk and only grows there. 

That, and due to the whole “no love triangle” thing, which unfortunately “sells”, I guess, combined with the fact that it was competing with literally every show that sent a character to Nicktoons Unite, rather sealed its fate. The Internet and fandoms were different back then. Bet people would love it if it aired now.

(By the way, some of the episodes on KissCartoon are missing and/or cut off early. You can usually find them if you Google ‘em. The early episodes are out of order because of “Oh Yeah! Cartoons”, but I can help you out. The only episode I’ve never found is “Knight Plight”. If anyone has that, I’d love to see.)

[jheaton416]

Ace and Sep’s Greatest Hits

With Sad Hands and heavy hearts we bid farewell to Ace and Sep's Buffy recaps...  

"I get it now. The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It's about the power. And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now." Just then the Hubris Police step in in the form of Rupert Giles and throw a bolt of green energy at Willow, knocking her clear across the room. "I'd like to test that theory," says Giles, all tall and authoritative. Oh, Giles! Hi! I missed you so much this season! We have so much catching up to do! Let's see. I just finished my finals, and I think I did rather well. And I met a very nice boy who just happens to live in England, so when I'm over there this summer, if you wanna hang out or something just let me know. I gotta hand this over to Ace now, but... call me!

Sep, "Two to Go"

Sep: So there I was. At Trader Joe's, and boom. No Booty to be had. And you know my dedication to all things snack.  Ace: I feel your pain. The other night I was at TJ's and they had all these different kinds of Booty from Fruit Booty to Vegetable Booty, but not the Booty that I wanted.  Sep: Yargh. That blows.  Ace: Snerk. So anyway. Ash asked me if I wanted to get one of the other varieties, but I just felt that if I couldn't have the Booty that I wanted, it was better to have no Booty at all.  Sep: Dude. That's deep. And also would have saved me much pain and humiliation in my early twenties.  

There are tiny colonies of single-celled life at the bottom of deep fissures in the sea using their cilia to tell each other, "Buffy used Spike." Can we please move on?

Sep, "Never Leave Me"  

Ecch, I hear a noise like forty cats being squeezed too hard around their middles. Turns out it's Cordelia singing "The Greatest Love of All."

- Ace, "The Puppet Show"  

i dont have time to read all theze post but did u hear what happens in the finale? every vamp and demon that buffy has ever kiled is rezrected and they all sing at spike and angles WEDDING!!!! OMG!!! laterz Sep (Go on. Ban me. I dare you.)

Sep, in the forums  

Aw, Willow is wearing shorts and showing more Willow-leg than I believe we've ever seen. What a cutie. ... Giles finally pipes up that he's sorry he missed the encounter, but he actually sounds like he's sorry these damn kids won't leave him alone so he can pour himself a nice single-malt Scotch and watch that Letty The Lusty Librarian tape he has hidden in his nightstand. ... Dracula wears a sweater vest? Well, I guess that answers the age-old question: "What does Dracula wear under his cape?" Or was that Scotsmen? Who does he think he is anyway, Chandler Bing? ... I would like to point out that Spacky is wearing more eye makeup than the entire female cast combined.

Ace, "Buffy vs. Dracula"  

Credits. Who does James Marsters have to sleep with to be billed before Michelle Trachtenberg and Emma Caulfield? Ooh! Please let it be me. C'mon, if y'all give me James I won't ask for anything else for my birthday or Christmas. What? It worked when I was ten. ... Look! Xander is using a skill! Effectively! As he's building shelves for Giles, I notice that he's attired in jeans and a plain long-sleeved shirt. It looks like after his other half fell into the Gap, he managed to climb out with a basic grasp on the matching theory.

Sep, "Out of My Mind"  

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I love the 'Bot; I really, really do. She's so cute and happy and chirpy and I just know reanimated Buffy is going to be an angst-y pained ball of angst just like she was all last season, and sometimes I wish we could just replace her with the robot permanently. Especially if she keeps making jokes about marzipan.

Ace, "Bargaining I"  

Damn, Marc Blucas makes James Marsters look like a tiny, tiny man. After last week's showcase it's sad, but also amusing, to see Spike reduced to an elfin laundry-stalker.

Sep, "Shadow"  

WARNING: Contents may have shifted during shipping. Oops, that's the wrong warning. The warning is this: This recap contains opinions.

Ace, "Tabula Rasa"  

Evil Dead eh? I'm just going to take that as a shout-out to me and my Evil Dead t-shirt that I ordered out of the Fangoria (shut up) catalog twelve years ago and have been wearing consistently ever since. David Fury must have seen me in it or something. ... Buffy notices Ben sitting somewhere else and goes over to talk to him. Oh GREAT. You know how, whenever there's an outbreak of some sort of nasty infectious disease, during the news reports they often retrace the path of the virus on a map? Well, that's what my mind is doing with Ben right about now. First I only had to live in fear during the hospital scenes. But then he leached into the hospital parking lot. And now that he's just showing up at the Bronze all willy-nilly, he could just ooze on down the road anywhere his little slime trail will take him. Curses. Greasy Intern Ben is spreading. I wonder what his vector of infection is?

Sep, "Crush"  

Tough Love - Or, "The Unedited Buffy You Never Wanted To See." Buffy routes paperwork. Buffy repairs an appliance. Buffy folds laundry. Buffy goes to a parent-teacher conference. Dawn does homework. Dawn does homework some more. Glory practices personal hygiene. The recapper props her eyelids open with spork tines. To spice things up a little, Giles goes all Ripper, Tara goes all Forrest Gump, and Willow goes all Fairuza Balk. The recapper falls asleep and drools on her cat.

Ace, "Tough Love" recaplet  

Spike stumbles, bloody, bruised, and wild-eyed, down the hall to the elevator, and if I weren't a fan of this show and were just flipping by I might think it was a clip from a Behind the Music on Billy Idol.

Sep, "Intervention"  

...Marci needs to find "the key."  ...Darcy or Shannon or whatever her name is  ...Sheila or Lisa or whoever 

Sep describing Glory before her name was revealed, "Family"  

...the guy, who I've decided to call Gee Dub McChoad for no reason whatsoever...

Sep describing Tara's brother, "Family"  

Willow screams, 'Noooooooo,' and a rippling force shoots out of her mouth and zaps Osiris, who vanishes. Oh, the heartbreak of halitosis!

Ace, "Villains"  

My roommate brought home a big pile of Marshmallow Peeps from a post-Easter sale. I took one look at them and screeched, "Peeps show!" before grabbing one, winging it into the microwave, and making "Bamp-chicka-bow-wow" noises while watching the Peep swell and undulate in the microwave. Try it. It's fun. Also, I have in my notes from the first airing of this episode, "Dawn no like monkey-brain marshmallows." I think I'll just leave that in. You'll either find it as amusing as I do or marvel at my illiteracy.

Sep, "Conversations With Dead People"  

Willow incants more at the effigy (who looks like she's ready for a doctor to check her tonsils) and then sends green energy blobs shooting out of her breasts towards Santa's Phallus. It's a lesbian thing -- you wouldn't understand.

Ace, "Grave"  

Cut to Xander chaining Spike up in the basement of Casa Summers. Dawn, Buffy, Wood, Giles, Willow, the UN Security council, three random passersby, and a small hedgehog are all in attendance. Okay, not really, but seriously. The number of people present for this is way unnecessary. Giles, Willow and Buffy will perform the spell. Xander, Dawn and Wood will distribute small snacks and throw Jujubes at Spike's head. ... Spike's mum tells him that he "needs a woman in [his] life." He replies that he does have a woman in his life. She is momentarily taken in, but then realizes that William has some really serious Oedipal issues. Victorian etiquette dictates that it would be in poor taste to mention this, so she pretends to be flattered. He promises to always look after her, but she has a coughing fit, hoping to die and escape her creepy son. Knowing that Spike's women-paragon obsession thing in which he defines himself and his moral center by the dominant female figure in his life started back when Spike was human, and has continued until the present day, really makes me realize how pathetic a creature he truly is. You'd think that after the first hundred years he might have self-actualized or something.

Sep, "Lies My Parents Told Me"  

Let me amend that. It's a long, thick, snake-like demon with a head shaped just like a penis, that squeals at Buffy and then sprays liquid out of its mouth and onto her. Just think about that for a minute.

Ace, "Doublemeat Palace"  

At the Pub the Chuckleheads are sitting around a table strewn with empty beer pitchers, randomly slapping and picking nits off of each other. One of them is trying to remove his shirt but gets his head stuck in it. I can sympathize with him. I've done that -- sober.

Sep, "Beer Bad"  

Rack is creepy. Then about ten more anvils crash into my room, followed by a minor deluge of cow pies as we launch into a trippy-druggy sequence the likes of which has not been seen since The Trip and Psych-Out.

Ace, "Wrecked"  

Willow is wearing what Ace called a poncho, but I think looks more like a tube with no armholes. If anyone remembers the commercial for the plastic device that enabled you to turn a crank and produce miles upon miles of useful and fashionable yarn tubing, well, it looks like that. Either that, or Willow took up knitting but hasn't figured out the secret to sleeves yet. Patrolling against vampires and other night-haunting demons with your arms bound to your sides by an acrylic strait-jacket doesn't seem like a wise move, but what do I know about fashion? Oh, that's right -- a lot more than Willow, obviously.

Sep, "Something Blue"  

Suddenly, my TV screen fills up with a bunch of monkeys, all dressed up in platform sandals, cunning frocks, feather boas, and mascara. They form a menacing circle around Dawn. I think they're all guy monkeys, but y'know, it's a little hard to tell with the simians.

Ace, "Potential"  

It's Cruella D'Will. Heh. That's why she flayed Warren last week. She's making a coat out of him. Man, how much cooler would this episode be if Willow pranced around singing, 'See my vest! See my vest! It was once Warren's chest!' ... This is a test of the Emergency Snorecast System. Everything operational.

Sep, "Two to Go"  

Sunny Valley, Arizona Ace, a beautiful, brainy, and brilliant recapper for TWoP, that world-famous website and recipient of three Nobel Prizes for Internet Criticism, piloted her pink bubble-shaped hovercraft to the landing strip on the roof of her lux penthouse apartment. Slim and clad entirely in her everyday garb of form-fitting leather, she headed quickly to her Operations Control room, stopping only to scratch the chin of her almost-sentient leopard, Francesca. "Follow me, little one," Ace purred to her feline companion, "for tonight we view a new Buffy!" In Operations Control, Ace flung her shapely form onto the low designer sofa and thumbed the remote to her wall-sized liquid television. As the episode progressed, Francesca began to pace the room in agitation, for she had never before seen her merry human companion in such distress. Ace's perfectly manicured nails caressed her flawless face as she murmured, "How will I recap an episode so sorely lacking in plot? An episode that consists mostly of Andrew's fantasies and stolen videotaped vignettes of the Scooby gang? Without a narrative structure to follow, at what point should I mention the disturbing basement sex of the un-reunited Xander and Anya, or the empty and unsatisfying riot occurring at Sunnydale High?" Finally, Ace knelt, and attractively wept into the silken tawny fur of Francesca, "I face my greatest challenge ever! Just as the tears of repentant Andrew closed the Seal of Danzig in the school basement forever, so do my hot tears of rage seal my unrepentant loathing of this season!" Los Angeles, CA The evil genius Jane Espenson cackled evilly as she polished her six-inch chrome stilettos and flipped her shiny titian hair. Whirling menacingly in her secret headquarters beneath Reseda, she flipped open her tiny red Mobicom and hit speed-dial. Upon hearing a voice on the other end of the line, Jane leered and snapped out, "Hello, Joss? I think we've broken Ace already. The tears are the beginning of the end. That'll teach her to complain about Andrew's poor grasp on reality!"

Ace, "Storyteller" recaplet  

The Knights are gonna get the Key, toniiiight! The Scoobies drive a big RV, toniiiight! This year, the minutes seemed like hours The arc progressed so slowly And still no end in siiiight!

Sep, "Spiral" recaplet  

Xander gets snide about what a "simple" decision this must be for Buffy and then leaps up, snarling, "You know, if there's a mass-murdering demon that you're, oh, say, boning, then it's all gray area." Hee -- go Xander! I'm not really taking sides in this argument because I think both Buffy and Xander are both right and wrong here, but I really think it needed to be said that Buffy totally put aside all her Slayer standards in order ride Spike's man-pole, and she's never really admitted that to or faced it as far as I can tell. She's mumbled about how it was bad for her, but never seemed to realize what a betrayal of her calling it was. Buffy wins The Lame Comeback Of The Century Award when her only reply is that Spike is "harmless." Harmless except for the whole part where he could and did harm you, Buffy. Nice self-preservation instincts there, honey. Let's kill Anya because she could hurt men. Let's not kill Spike because he can only hurt Buffy. Uh, where was I?

Ace, "Selfless"  

This whole Spike with Buffy thing? My fault. When Angel was on the show, I hated every second of him and his dazed "you can tell I have a soul because I look like I just walked into a tree" method of acting. (Angelus was a different story. A cooler story that didn't spend so much time whining and moping.) Then, when he left, it was like light pouring in through the heavens. I was excited. Happy. I had a new lease on life. I thought, "No matter what, Buffy's next boyfriend won't be so bad." Enter Riley. Riley with his potato nose, thinly-veiled chauvinism, and women issues. And so it was, until it came to pass that Riley endeth. And lo! Happiness reigned far and wide across the land (defined as my apartment), there was much rejoicing, and it was good. Again, I foolishly allowed myself to be confident that this had been the worst. Surely Buffy's next boyfriend...

Sep, "Two to Go"  

ASH is really giving a killer performance here. I wonder how many takes it took for him to stop laughing. His singing sounds very soulful and I'm convinced it's his own voice, just very badly synched. Maybe the sound crew had to work overtime on all the Buffy/Riley moaning and ran out of time for the important things. Bad prioritization, guys. For a whole week following this episode, my poor cat is tortured by me following her around the house and bellowing, "No ooooone knows what it's liiiiike/Toooooo be the baaaad cat/Tooooo be the saaaad cat/Behind blue eeeeeyeees." I swear, one of these days she's going to lose her patience, pack her little kitty suitcase and leave. Well, at least I don't make her watch The Others with me anymore.

Ace, "Where the Wild Things Are"  

Luke is chanting, "The Sleeper will wake and the world will bleed. Amen!" Because vampires are such religious creatures. Don't you remember that one heartwarming episode they had when they showed them all going to church? Sure, they wanted to eat the rest of the congregation, but as long as they're worshipping in Glen Oak with the Camdens I really don't have a problem with that.

Sep, "Welcome to the Hellmouth"  

D'Hoffryn introduced himself, and Aud replies, "I am Aud." Hee. That's a funny pun. You know that saying that goes, "Puns are the lowest form of humor"? That always confused me. I mean, I wondered who decided that, and what the highest form of humor was, and why the phrase always seemed to be uttered only by the very humorless, who wouldn't seem qualified to judge. Anyway, this is 2002, and the saying is obviously obsolete. It comes from an older era. An era before the fart joke. Fart jokes are quite clearly the lowest form of humor, and I suggest that we petition the correct powers that be to have the saying updated for modern times. ["The lowest, and yet consistently the most reliable. Hee. Farts." -- Sars]

Ace, "Selfless"  

Willow and Buffy walk up the steps to school, and Xander catches up with them. I'm sorry that I can't recap their conversation, but I'm sure you'll understand once I tell you about Xander's red and moldy green-gray sweater paired with brown and yellow plaid pants. As if that combination wasn't horrific enough on its own, Willow is wearing an orange and yellow striped fleece shirt. It's at times like this that I wish I were blind -- just like the wardrobe people.

Sep, "Passion"  

Ace: "I don't know why Buffy was all surprised when Spike tried to kiss her. That's what you do at the end of a date and drinking, dinner, and pool all add up to a date." Sep: "It totally was a date. My last date ended exactly the same way. Someone threw a wad of cash at someone else, the words, 'You're beneath me' were uttered, and one of us was left crying alone in an alley." Ace: "You've got to be kidding me." Sep: "Actually I am. My last date ended with me threatening my beau with a spork."

Ace and Sep, "Fool for Love"  

[icecreamadventures]

Ages ago I said I would write up a bunch of book summary’s and recommendations. Also with some warnings because unlike fan fiction books don’t really put in trigger warnings. I made this for @quercussp and I am so sorry it took so dang long to make but here we are I hope you enjoy.

Side note: I know there is not a lot of variety per say but this is also just books I have read and enjoyed. Also with the final books I haven’t read in awhile so I copy pasted a summary in for the books please don’t kill me I rather like living. 

Recommended books:  Autoboyography, Binge, Simon Vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda, The Testing Trilogy, Not a Drop To Drink, Bounders, and The Running Dream.

Autoboyography: by  Christina Hobbs

A bi boy named tanner gets talked into taking a class with his best friend autumn, were they have to write a book in a semester. This class seems to be easy before tanner learns that the bishop's son is going to come in and help mentor the other students as he previously was in the class and is now getting the book he wrote published. Now this class becomes a lot harder once tanner starts to fall for Sebastian. The whole story goes through how Sebastian and tanner cope and deal with their feelings. Following the two different sides of an accepting and loving family and another were the family will shun you and barely acknowledge your presence.

Warnings: homophobia, religion, brief nod to sex

Binge: By Tyler Oakley

Binge is an amazing autobiography by Tyler Oakley. Throughout the book he talks about different moments in his life that include some hilarious anecdotes. It is a hilarious book and I highly recommend it if you haven't read it. Only warnings I would have with it is binge eating and eating disorders, also talks about sex.

Simon Vs The homo Sapiens agenda: By Becky Albertalli

This has already gotten a lot of traction because of the movie love Simon. You have probably already heard of it but oh how i recommend it anyways. Simon sees a guy who goes by blue on tumblr and messages him. They start talking but one guy finds the emails and used them to blackmail Simon into trying to set his friend Abby with him. Warnings: Outing, maybe a tad of internalized homophobia, shitty friends for a whole minute but honestly they are good.

The Testing Trilogy: Joelle Charbonneau

This is a copy pasted summary: It’s graduation day for sixteen-year-old Malencia Vale, and the entire Five Lakes Colony (the former Great Lakes) is celebrating. All Cia can think about—hope for—is whether she’ll be chosen for The Testing, a United Commonwealth program that selects the best and brightest new graduates to become possible leaders of the slowly revitalizing post-war civilization. When Cia is chosen, her father finally tells her about his own nightmarish half-memories of The Testing. Armed with his dire warnings (“Cia, trust no one”), she bravely heads off to Tosu City, far away from friends and family, perhaps forever. Danger, romance—and sheer terror—await.

This is on my top ten book list and I love it more than divergent!

Warnings: Death but not the main character, blood, guns, some gore, possibly throwing up at one point I forget.

Not a Drop to Drink: by Mindy McGinnis

This is also copy pasted: Regret was for people with nothing to defend, people who had no water.

Lynn knows every threat to her pond: drought, a snowless winter, coyotes, and, most importantly, people looking for a drink. She makes sure anyone who comes near the pond leaves thirsty, or doesn't leave at all.

Confident in her own abilities, Lynn has no use for the world beyond the nearby fields and forest. Having a life means dedicating it to survival, and the constant work of gathering wood and water. Having a pond requires the fortitude to protect it, something Mother taught her well during their quiet hours on the rooftop, rifles in hand.

But wisps of smoke on the horizon mean one thing: strangers. The mysterious footprints by the pond, nighttime threats, and gunshots make it all too clear Lynn has exactly what they want, and they won’t stop until they get it….

With evocative, spare language and incredible drama, danger, and romance, debut author Mindy McGinnis depicts one girl’s journey in a barren world not so different than our own.

This is an incredible book and I have remembered this book for years after I have read it!

Warnings: Blood, side character death, grieving, sickness, guns, killing animals

Over all a pretty happy ending there is a second book which I own just haven’t read but it is a good read and you can just read the first book if you wanted

Bounders by: Monica Tesler.

Copy pasted summary: Bounders have always known they were different, but they never suspected they were the key to saving Earth.

Jasper Adams is excited to join the Earth Force military agency as part of its first class of Bounders, a team of kids training to be elite astronauts. He can’t wait to connect with others like him and learn to pilot spaceships that can travel across the galaxy in an instant.

But when Jasper arrives at the space station, nothing is as it seems. Security is sky-high, and Jasper and his new friends soon realize that Earth Force has been keeping secrets—one of the biggest being a powerful, highly-classified technology that allows the Bounders to teleport through space without a ship. Only Bounders can use this tech, which leads Jasper to a sinister truth—humanity is facing a threat greater than any they’ve ever known, and Bounders are the ones standing between their planet and destruction.

Will Jasper and his friends rebel against Earth Force for hiding the truth or fulfill their duty and fight for their planet? The fate of Earth may rest on their choice.

This book is incredible and has a lot of space travel and themes which i personally enjoyed.

Warnings: War, aliens, weird testing thing kinda creepy but not really, lab materials and doctor like equipment. Kids are mean and bully, adults can also be rude. Nothing horribly wrong outside of that until the climax and kids get too smart but overall isn't bad.

This is also a series but works wonderfully as a stand alone book.

The Running Dream: by Wendelin Van Draanen

Copy pasted summary: Jessica thinks her life is over when she loses a leg in a car accident. She’s not comforted by the news that she’ll be able to walk with the help of a prosthetic leg. Who cares about walking when you live to run?

As she struggles to cope, Jessica feels that she’s both in the spotlight and invisible. People who don’t know what to say act like she’s not there. Jessica’s embarrassed to realize that she’s done the same to a girl with CP named Rosa. A girl who is going to tutor her through all the math she’s missed. A girl who sees right into the heart of her.

With the support of family, friends, a coach, and her track teammates, Jessica may actually be able to run again. But that’s not enough for her now. She doesn’t just want to cross finish lines herself—she wants to take Rosa with her.

I read this when I was about 12 or 13 but I always remember it as an amazing book.

The warnings although not many, doctors, maybe a mention of blood, if so it pertains to the leg.