#me writing anything: first of all none of them are cis

[butmakeitgayblog]

There’s just something so special about your CI Clexa which got me thinking—given their dynamic and individual trauma, what does their end look like? Who goes first and does the other soon follow like those old couples where the other dies of a broken heart or does one outlive the other and what does life look like then? They’re just very us against the world. Curious what your ending for them looks like

You don't know what to do with yourself anymore.

That's all you keep thinking as you stand there, staring. Eyes tracing the dash carved in winter grey marble that connects both your names.

It was always going to be like this, you think. Always going to end this way, because you were doomed from the first day you fell. And you'd known it. You'd known that loving her was so dangerous, so disastrous and threatening to the core of your very being, that you'd resisted at every turn... but like everything when it came to her.

You'd given in.

And let her consume you.

And you hadn't regretted loving her for one single second.

You lean heavier on the cane at your side and shift under the umbrella that your assistant holds over you. You know she'd call you spoiled for it, roll her eyes and make a comment about how delicate you must be.

But then again, she'd also be tucked into your side. Not six fucking feet deep.

The patter of rain muffles the squelch of wheels on grass and you don't even both to look to see who has come to settle in beside you.

You don't care because they don't matter.

Nothing matters. Not anymore.

Because every time you breathe, it feels like you're losing her all over again.

"Would it help if I said despite the decrepit state of you, you were somehow the hottest widow I've ever seen?"

You sigh without blinking, still staring at the perfectly lined writing of your favorite name.

"Fuck off, Raven."

You miss your love so much in that moment, that you know you must sound eerily like her.

Raven's chuckle hits your ears like fingernails on sandpaper, and you regret having even invited her to begin with.

"There she is," she says through a sniffle that you know has more to do with the wet autumn air than anything relating to your loss. "How are you holding up?"

You feel yourself frown at the question, both for its stupidity and its intention, because when the hell has she ever cared about anyone else's feelings?

Much less yours.

"I'm fine," you say mechanically. The same way you've been saying it to everyone who's asked for the last 76 hours, 39 minutes, and however many meaningless seconds.

But the truth is... you're not fine. And you know you'll never be fine again. Because you stare at her name etched into freshly cut marble and loathe how it does nothing to convey the sheer force of nature that your wife is.

How her hair feels when it tickles your collarbones as she inevitably leans in for 'just one more kiss'. How it smells like her favorite shampoo mixed with just a touch of your signature perfume. Because for decades you've been in the disgustingly domestic habit of letting her rest on your shoulder while you read to her, tucked warm and safe in the haven of your oversized bed.

Or how she'd gone soft in her old age, in all the right ways, always so warm and pliant in the weakening of your fingers.

None of it tells how she could make the world burn with only a flick of her elegant wrist, and sigh the softest sweet breath across the dip of your neck. How she'd rage at you with her fire. Make the earth shatter in her fury. A thousand pieces of her love spilled out at your feet, because she trusted you to collect every one.

How the lipstick of her goodbye morning kisses always left your mouth just a single shade a redder. How she'd never noticed that you'd changed your color pallete just to suit that, because having her on your lips always made your day better.

At least... you don't think she's ever noticed. You know you've certainly never told her, more enchanted with idea of it being your little secret of just how much you adore her.

The thought makes you smile, because that little nugget of information would undoubtedly have her pitching an outright fit. Smattering you with too-hard kisses as she stomps around childishly, indignant what with how prone to sulking your wife is—

... was...

Was...

The smile slips away from your lips.

She's quiet through all your thoughts. So quiet her voice almost makes you jump.

You'd almost forgotten she's even there.

"I don't think I've ever seen you quite this mopey."

"Sincerely, fuck off, Raven."

"Even that's still annoyingly attractive, for what it's worth."

"You know if she were here right now, she'd slap you for that."

"I'm only saying I don't know why you're being so dreary. You know she loved you."

"You know she hated you?"

Her chuckle sounds more like gravel this time around, wet and disgustingly thick. Your wife had told the fucking idiot to stop smoking at least once a month for last 61 years.

You even remember her saying it on your wedding day when she'd smelled like expensive champagne and nicotine and had insisted on cutting in.

"She actually was half in love with me, I'm sure of it. Why else do you think she let me keep coming around," Raven exhales when she's knocked enough phlegm free.

God, you fucking hate old people.

Even if by all accounts you are indeed one of them too. But you can't find it in yourself to feel anything beyond the burning behind your eyes, because you'd sworn to each other in an oath of half-smiled kisses that you'd only grow old together.

And technically you had done that. She had kept her end of the bargain.

But still you feel cheated in this somehow.

Because she'd kissed you so thoroughly and promised that it was you and her against the world. That she'd give you nothing less than forever...

And now all that's left is you.

You let the cold seep into your bones and ignore the chattering teeth of the idiot beside you.

Because how do you explain that of course you know she loved you. But it was because of that love that this was your curse in life? That this was always going to happen, simply because you dared to let yourself love her too?

How do you explain that no matter how fast you have run from it, you will always be that little girl inside. Tarred and feathered in the luxury of her Sunday mourning best, with mahogany braids twining her hair.

You stare at the coffin that holds your only reason for anything. The whole of your heart resting peacefully inside it. And for the second time in your life, your head fills with a riot of nothing. Only three small words play over and over again in your mind.

'I'm all alone now...'

[destiny-in-the-universe]

Pride Headcanons

It’s June 1, y’all which means I can write about my silly little blorbos being under the rainbow all I want! Not that the headcanons were somehow different before hahaha but anyway!

I’m going to be using the Secret Quartet because I can- and honestly they are my biggest comfort and hyperfixation right now, so why wouldn’t I write with them?

Danny Phantom;

👻 Danny is trans. I mean look at him- but no, this just fits with his character. Honestly I could talk about this in a completely separate post but genuinely he would be FtM

👻 In canon, he seems to prefer women more than men, but Danny is somewhere in the non-het umbrella. He gives me pan vibes, like it’s genuinely the last thing he cares about and it’s more about chemistry than anything else

👻 Danny’s parents are 100% supportive if he ever chose to come out. There is no homophobia in this household, you cannot convince me otherwise

👻 Overall, Amity Park is accepting. In no universe would they ever turn someone away for being not-cishet

👻 Danny used to bind using ace bandages and completely forget he was wearing them- based on an old comic I found, I like to imagine that if Vlad were to find out, he would immediately pay for Danny to at least have a comfortable binder. You also cannot tell me he wouldn’t try to offer paying for Danny’s bottom surgery (with a price of course)

👻 None of the ghosts would ever deadname Danny. Ever. Not even Dash would-

👻 Much like Danny, Jazz is definitely non-het; she’s bisexual- gender is the least of her concerns when it canes to romance, but she also seems to be a bit more sapphic leaning. I said what I said /lh

👻 Danny would never forget someone’s preferred name. He makes it an entire point to remember them and use it correctly- let alone pronouns

American Dragon: Jake Long;

🐲 Jake is cis- i don’t see him as being anything other than cisgender unfortunately but he’s an ally and I will stand by this until I disappear from this earth-

🐲 He doesn’t really care for labels and will never use them, but Jake isn’t exactly heterosexual. Gender is the last thing on his mind when he’s dating, but he’s only really dated Rose so I think he’s ever so slightly confused at the moment on his preferences

🐲 Jake would attend Pride. 100%

🐲 If Jake ever came out to his family, they would 100% be understanding- they’re many things but assholes isn’t one of them. They would likely sit him down and make sure to know how to most make him feel comfortable but other than that, neither Jonathan nor Susan would ever make Jake unhappy

I honestly don’t have as many headcanons for American Dragon, but- this is the best I could come up with!

Miraculous Ladybug;

🐞 Marinette is more than likely cisgender- she’s still an ally; that would never change. She makes sure to protect trans folk and everyone in between

🐞 I like to think Marinette doesn’t care for labels, and just dates depending on personality and compatibility than attempting to assess it on gender

🐞 She would never forget someone’s pronouns or preferred name. Sometimes there are accidental slip-ups because, well- it’s Marinette with ADHD (I will talk neurodivergent headcanons in a separate post) but she always apologizes if she messes up!

🐞 Marinette has attended Pride events as both her civilian persona and heroine identity to help support those who need it- this is canon now

🐈‍⬛ Adrien is trans. This is not up for negotiation (/lh). There is just something about him that screams trans

🐈‍⬛ He has no idea if he likes men, women, both or anything in between. Adrien is a little bit sheltered, give him time he’ll come around

🐈‍⬛ Honestly, Adrien would be an ally first before realizing he’s trans or non-het. He would be allowed to attend Pride events because Gabriel isn’t that much of a horrible person- at least not with Pride. Gabriel is not the type, in this essay I will-

🐈‍⬛ Adrien finds being Chat Noir completely freeing- it’s almost like binding in a way,

🐈‍⬛ Adrien was given his first binder buy Nino. He eventually received a second one from Marinette, and he cherishes both dearly- but sometimes he forgets to take them off

Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja;

🧣Randy is trans-coded. I can’t explain why, but there is no way that boy is cis- (Howard likely knew before he did, I was there obviously. I was uh, Randy’s coat /lh)

🧣He’s unlabeled when it comes to sexuality and romantic orientation. Randy doesn’t know because he has only ever crushed on girls so far but he also keeps smiling like an idiot at Howard and gets ridiculously flustered. He doesn’t know what to make of it-

🧣Randy has never attended a Pride event- at least not yet. He hopes to one day

🧣Randy binds- he does use a binder as Howard actually bought one for him as a birthday present; before that he used to wear ace bandages which wasn’t ideal in the slightest but he was dealing with horrible dysphoria at the time and didn’t want to accept he was only a kid

🧣Being the Ninja somehow helps him cope with his dysphoria

🥷 Finja- is he cishet? Hahahah no, absolutely not. Cis? Maybe. Heterosexual? This man gives asexual vibes! This is canon now ~ a fellow ace

🥷 I don’t think Finja would have used labels in his youth. Especially if it wasn’t entirely the norm back then but if he were in present times- he might’ve, though I think he would just vibe

🥷 Finja honestly might be on the aromantic spectrum, but more so demiromantic or grayaromantic than not dating at all!

🥷 Oh you can bet Finja would be completely accepting of Randy being trans

(author’s cut: more will be written for Finja later! I simply have words stuck in my brain that won’t fully come out!)

📕Nomicon - or “Nomi” - is agender! They do not associate themself with a gender and use literally any pronoun- including neopronouns

📕Nomi would be completely accepting of gender and sexuality- and anything in between- they are completely supportive of Randy coming out

📕Nomi is however, asexual! I do think Nomi would be aroace but you can headcanon whatever you want- though when you’re a centuries old sentient book, well, things change

📕If Nomi was human, they would 100% be attending Pride- this is not up for debate. They would

📕Nomi is fiercely protective of Randy- in my human AU’s, it is 100% guaranteed anyone who displayed transphobia or any other form of bigotry toward him would immediately be roundhouse kicked in the face

📕Human! Nomi would give zero fucks and decide to wear dresses- but honestly, they wear outfits that reference the book version of herself. They wear whatever the hell they want, do not care in the slightest

Additional Headcanons;

Howard doesn’t openly seem to care about Pride because he’s a stubborn little shit, but everyone knows better than to mess with Randy- because those who do are met with a fiercely protective, homosexual totally-cis Howard Weinerman

Whatever the fuck McFist and Viceroy have going on isn’t straight-

McFist would host Pride themed events specifically during June and seemingly forget about it for the rest of the year- does he do this to be homophobic? Nope! He just genuinely doesn’t flaunt being not straight that he also isn’t aware of

Viceroy is bi. This is not up for negotiation

Mort is straight but completely supports his children in whatever they want to do with their life

Sam Manson is completely unlabeled. She doesn’t care

Tucker? You can’t tell me that boy is cis

Alya makes blogs in support of Pride and does make them year-round because she is an ally and I will stand by this until the day I cease to exist (which is never)

Gabriel does do Pride events but much like McFist, he doesn’t them 24/7 or year-round- the only difference is I’m pretty sure Gabriel’s cishet

I can’t think of anything else tbh! Enjoy the mess that is these headcanons-

[bitch-spectrum]

PART 3/3

Part 1 ,, Part 2

Mooch

Personality Headcanons: She is NOT "Teehee :3" she's the kind of girl to show up to your house and commit arson. She's feral, she's dangerous, she's killed 4 people. She was probably arrested for murder and was doing community service to get out early when she got recruited for TF4. You could say she's a little..... nuts :D Physical Headcanons: I don't really have any. ~5" Gender: Puts female on legal documents but always says something different when asked for her gender. Things like "Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?" or "Ur mom." or "Whatever keeps you busy while I rob you." Pronouns: Any she doesn't care. Orientation: I don't have one. Post Game: She probably wasn't impacted much if at all. Opinions: She's a really funny side character. I adore cute characters who are batshit insane. 3.5/5.

Moray Personality Headcanons: They're a Mettaton stan. They act like a kowkey k-pop stan. They make aesthetic Mettaton gifs, reads/writes x reader fanfic, etc. Because they don't like conflict they don't get into internet beef though. At first they really only joined Starlo's posse for the aesthetic but it turns out they actually really enjoy sword fighting so they stuck around. Because they don't really like fighting or conflict so they usually do all the office work and they don't mind. Physical Headcanons: None really. ~ 5'07" Gender: Nonbinary (Is this canon?) Pronouns: They/Them Orientation: I don't have one. Post Game: They where pretty sad finding out about Clover's passing. It impacted them just not as hard as some of the others. They where able to get back up pretty quickly. Opinions: Gender. But sort of bland in personality. 2.5/5.

Starlo (Okay he's my fave in this specific iteration so just bear with me)

Personality Headcanons: He tends to have a bad habit of avoiding his problems. He tries to keep himself busy so he's not alone with his thoughts for too long. If he has absolutely nothing to do, he sits outside with an acoustic to keep his hands busy. Spanish was his first language and he often mispronounces English words. His mother handmade most of his gabàns. When he was really young and still lived on the surface he loved looking up at the stars. When he was in middle school he had a phase where he hated humans but grew out of it. He was comphet with Ceroba in high school but she clocked him and broke up with him. They stayed friends for a really long time anyway. He's ambidextrous. He's Ceroba's age so ~40-43. A lot of people interpret his sprite as having shade over his eyes but I like to think of it like a bandit mask.... that's prescription. His safety goggles are also prescription. He's really near sighted. He's also a pretty solid horse rider. You can't tell me this man DOESN'T smoke weed idc. He listens to southern rock, country, latino rock, and classic rock.

Physical Headcanons: The parts of his face that stick out emote with him. They turn up when he's happy/excited. They go down when he's sad. They kinda >:|< when he's mad. From growing up doing farm work and then deciding to become a sheriff too he's in really good physical condition and could probably lift most people over his head. His eyes are completely white. He's covered in a thin lair of fur that he grows out in certain places (chest, arms, beard, etc.). Ed is really jealous of his beard. The longer his fur is the darker it gets. Yellow to green-blue to dark blue (looks black). Fangs because I said so. Gender: Cis man Pronouns: He/Him Orientation: Gay and somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

Post Game: He was absolutely devastated the days following Clover's death. He barely got out of bed. Ed had to be the one to get him to even eat anything. He was really out of it, sort of dazed, for several weeks while he just tried to get back to work. He was a little torn between continuing trying to be the town's sheriff or going back to being a farmer. So, until then he just helped his parents out with whatever they needed. As he did, he reconnected with his childhood. He looked back at the boy he used to be, but unable to forget about Clover, he never forgot about the man he wanted to become. Clover had been so excited to meet a real-life cowboy that it almost felt disrespectful to throw out that pipedream now. So, he tried to find a middle ground between the two. Some days he'd be up at the first crack of dawn working in the field and other times he'd be the figurehead of his town, keeping the peace and keeping spirits high. Eventually he managed to pull himself out of a continuous low mood. Because of that, he managed to clear his mind enough to move on through the stages of grief. He and Ceroba got into a fight over what had happened. He felt like he owed it to Clover to at least try. Finally ending on the note that his freedom wasn't worth the life of someone he viewed as his own flesh and blood child - unlike what Ceroba did to her child which really WAS her blood. Their long-time friendship came to a bitter end, and he found himself turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism for a few months before a heartfelt talk with Ace pulled him back to his senses.

At one point when he was working in the field his mother called him inside and said she had finally finished the gabàn she had been making for Clover - he had requested it several months or so at this point but forgot to tell her what had happened. Re-opening old wounds he told her what had happened. He kept the gabàn and keeps it on his guitar case. Like Martlet, it was probably another decade or so before he really felt like his life was starting to move on. He had only known Clover for maybe a couple weeks at most but losing them felt like losing his own kid. He didn't know how long Clover was planning to stick around but had full intentions to legally adopt them. He successfully managed to move on, but he never forgot them.

Opinions: Like I said before he's my favorite character in this specific game. He's that right mix of serious and silly that really scratches an itch in my soul. His design is peak, it just speaks to me. I literally remember yelling at my TV when his design got revealed because I loved it instantly. HOWEVER, I do think that maybe his character could have been written a little better. It's pretty clear he's a complex character but the way he was written I feel like didn't fully convey that. 4/5.

THAT'S ALL! HAVE A GOOD DAY!!

[igotsnothing]

OC QUESTIONNAIRE

Thanks for the tag, @stargazer-sims and @eljeebee! I really enjoyed reading your questionnaires! And since you both tagged me, I am going to do this for Sasha and Gideon because I'm obsessed with telling their story, and I need a little fluff for them; they've been going through a lot recently.

Gideon: Interesting! Ready?

Sasha: Nooooo.

Gideon: I'll go first.

NAME: Gideon Westergaard

NICKNAME: None (Sasha: Oh, I can think of a FEW, all of them unpublishable.)

GENDER: Cis man

STAR SIGN: I honestly don't know...and I don't really care. (Sasha: He's a virgo, obviously. Please.)

HEIGHT: 6'3 (1.90 cm)

ORIENTATION: Bi, like many vampires.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Citizen of San Myshuno, member of the Forgotten Hollow Coven, originally from somewhere further north of Windenburg.

FAVORITE FRUIT: Sasha... (Sasha: SERIOUSLY? You think that's funny? F*ck you!)

FAVORITE SEASON: Fall.

FAVORITE FLOWER: Lily of the valley

FAVORITE SCENT: Cartier's Pasha.

COFFEE, TEA, or HOT CHOCOLATE: (Gideon: *Looks at Sasha.* Sasha: DON'T YOU DARE. NO.) Scotch. If good quality, I prefer it neat. (*Sasha pretends to puke*)

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: I don't need much sleep; I usually get 4-5 hours.

DOGS or CATS: *Grins broadly* My kitten, of course. (*Sasha grumbles incoherently*)

DREAM TRIP: I actually love San Myshuno. I like going to the art galleries, theaters, concert halls- all the activities the city has to offer. But if I had to travel somewhere...I like skiing. Mt. Komorebi is quite the challenge.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: I don't really get cold.

RANDOM FACT: Vampires are connected to their covens via specific bloodlines. Gideon has a coven sire, who turned him- but the one who claims him as her "child" is his coven's mistress (more to be revealed...can't wait to share.)

Gideon: Your turn!

Sasha: Hello, nosey people! Why don't you mind your own bu-

NAME: Sasha Velky

NICKNAME: Sash. Sassy, but don't call me that ever. Loco- but only Hector gets to call me that (Gideon visibly bristles at this). And...that's it. (Gideon mouths 'kitten' and winks. Sasha does not acknowledge this and maintains a steady glare.)

GENDER: Cis man

STAR SIGN: Okay, my sun sign is Taurus, moon sign is Leo, and Aquarius rising! (Gideon: What? Was that even Simlish? Sasha: That's such a virgo reaction.)

HEIGHT: 5'9 (1.75 cm)

ORIENTATION: Homosexy (Gideon: Did you mean homosexual- Sasha: NO! I know what I said! It's a JOKE! I didn't get mixed up this time! You are so pretendcious sometimes! *Gideon doesn’t dare correct him this time; Sasha’s irritated enough.*)

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: I'm from San Myshuno, born and raised, but my mom was from Simvlakia and I understand and speak Simvlakian a little bit. I can't write it for sh*t.

FAVORITE FRUIT: Twinkies. (*Gideon shakes his head*)

FAVORITE SEASON: Summer.

FAVORITE FLOWER: Sunflowers.

FAVORITE SCENT: (*Looks sheepishly at Gideon*) Cartier's Pasha. (*Gideon sits up, pleased*)

COFFEE, TEA, or HOT CHOCOLATE: Cigarettes. (Gideon: What happened to quitting? Sasha: I'm no quitter! Hey- don't look at me like that...I am trying. It's been three days, ok? Gideon: I'm so proud of you!)

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: I need 7-8. I'm a pretty deep sleeper.

DOGS or CATS: Yes.

DREAM TRIP: I don't know...I haven't really been out of San Myshuno. I always wanted to visit my mom's family in Simvlakia, but I wouldn't know where to begin. After she died, my father got rid of all her pictures, her papers, documents...I don't have anything from her, except for a stuffed animal from when I was really little. (*Gideon inhales sharply and his expression darkens- it begins to soften again when Sasha rests his head on his shoulder.*)

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: One? Two? I guess I get cold at night. (Gideon, knowingly: Hey- I can keep you warm at night. *Sasha, perking up*: You are a pervert! Is this a ploy to get me in your bed? Gideon: Always... Sasha: *Snickers*)

RANDOM FACT: Sasha has a green thumb. It's something he shares with his late mom. He's really good with plants.

I AM TAGGING: @agena87, @damseljamsel, @lynzishell, @alinelie (plz plz plz!), @simarcana (Alika or any of your fabulous OCs), @eslanes (love your stuff and saw you have more storytelling coming soon?), and even though @greighish is taking a hiatus, I AM NOT ! This is all optional, do it if you want to, ignore me at your own risk, up to you! ❤️😆

[boy-above]

on this pride month i've decided that the current closest descriptor for my gender is...

i'm gonna do a whole lot of talking abt my gender and stuff, honestly it's mostly for myself to organize my thoughts but i do like talking abt myself sometimes so if you read, thank you i guess

before i figured out i was a boy i ID'd as nonbinary for several years, i was hesitant to ID as masculine because at the time the community was so drenched with radfem ideology that myself and a lot of other transmascs were afraid to come out / even think about exploring masculinity because we were constantly being told how evil men were all the time. so instead i went through like, so many nonbinary labels, but none of them really suited me, i discovered. agender, bigender, genderfluid, i tried a lot of them. the thing is that i knew i didn't want to be a Girl, but was very hesitant to consider i was a Boy because of the previously mentioned radfem rhetoric being spread. this isn't a post to talk about that though, you've heard a lot about that from me already lmao. it's just an important component of the struggles with gender i had growing up.

anyway, once i finally accepted i was a boy, i was excited. i checked the boxes for a trans man, i wanted a dick (and am still mad i don't have one), i wanted he/him pronouns, i was comfortable being called a boy, etc. and i still want all of those things, so why am i starting to question the trans man label?

i think mostly it comes down to how my gender has been shaped by societal and environmental expectations. i have gender dysphoria but not in an entirely "traditional" way. i want a dick, i want a flat chest, i want a deeper voice. but im also gender nonconforming, and have no interest trying to do traditionally masculine things to "fit in" with cis men. i don't think femininity is some horrible thing to be avoided, i like a lot of feminine things and don't think so many things should be gendered in the first place. i don't think trying hormones would fix me because there's other ways i Don't want to look like a man. if anything i would say Nothing can truly fix my dysphoria because i don't want to look like Anything. there is no perfect me i can envision in my head, if anything i don't even want to look human; i don't even want to be perceived. there's also parts of me that no amount of surgery to fix, im only 4'9 for example, and even cis men get berated for being short let alone trans men.

that's why i've only told my immediate family, my friends, and my doctor that i'm a boy. i never plan of publicly coming out. on the rare occasion i do, i settle with they/them instead of my preferred he/him because it's just easier that way. you get a lot of laughing and eyerolling as a feminine looking person if you try to use he/him. ive been trans for so many years but i can never truly escape the chance that people might perceive me as a "trender" (hate that word, gag) because i simply don't pass. and then of course there's my parents who refuse to use he/him and will only use they/them. they know i want he/him but they won't even try. they're just like "you can't really expect us to call you a boy."

i have so much sympathy for fellow closeted people. the community never considers you and it ends up being a lonely place. you don't fit in with cis people but other trans people don't want you. once i read a piece called "i am a trans woman, i am in the closet, i am not coming out." and i can't even tell you how important that writing was to me. i read it at just the right time, years ago when i think i really needed it. it's one of the only things that made me feel like staying in the closet was an option. that i can only be out where i feel safe.

i've questioned before if my gender nonconformity and the way people treat non-passing individuals is the true reason i've become skeptical of my trans man identity. i think most likely it is, i think that if we lived in a world where it was perfectly socially exceptable to be a feminine trans man and people in public would accept me and treat me like a boy, i'd have no problem saying "i'm a trans man", but we don't live in that world. the world we're in right now has no room for people like me, and it's something i've had to accept. another thing worth mentioning is that i don't even really like the word 'man' being applied to me, i just felt like i had to use it because some people treat trans boys badly if they prefer 'boy' over 'man'. but i like being a boy. the word boy suits me better. the word man just doesn't seem applicable to me. i'm not masculine enough and the word just feels kinda wrong in my brain, the same way being called "handsome" does. i want to be cute, and calling me handsome would just be inaccurate. do you get what im saying?

but anyway, i think demiboy suits me because its more 'loose' than trans man for lack of a better word. its less specific and i think thats what i need right now. im a boy, but calling myself binary doesnt quite feel right. calling myself nonbinary also doesnt feel right though. like i said i ID'd as nonbinary for several years so i have no problem with the label in general, it just doesnt feel right when applied to me personally. it's kinda weird to describe, i know demiboy is not a binary identity, therefore is by definition nonbinary, but the word nonbinary itself just doesnt vibe with me, so i guess i would prefer not to call myself nonbinary??? i dont know how to describe it, it's just a labels thing. because like i said, i feel like trans boy isnt an entirely wrong way to describe me Either. im rambling now because i know my labels problem doesnt make sense. anyway uh yeah. i'm a demiboy. and for anyone who didn't see the post i made a while back, i use he/him and sometimes it/its. unenthusiastically throws a handful of confetti

[britcision]

The number of people who seem to think that it’s good and normal for them to want to personally approve of any piece of art for it to exist are fucking baffling to me

“Oh I don’t condone incest ships so no one should be allowed to write them”

Do you condone war crimes?

Do you approve of violence and oppressive governments?

Do you approve of torture and whump?

Do you fucking approve of teenage bullying?

We’d lose ALL MODERN MEDIA if we only ever told stories about things that are pure and good and clean, and the queer community would never be a part of it

Gay people HOLDING HANDS are treated like they’re fucking in the street by conservatives

You will never be pure enough, clean enough, respectable enough for the people who want you dead

Alan fucking Turing, without whom the Allies never would have won World War II, was chemically castrated because he happened to be gay as well as a genius

He killed himself

He was a hero by every single measure of the word, and he was driven to suicide because nothing else he was, nothing else he did, mattered to the people that were so sure homosexuality was wrong

Why the hell would being a milquetoast little queer who never consumes questionable content, never even glances at anything that makes them uncomfortable, save you?

He was an influential cis white man who fucking saved the civilisation that decided being gay made him a danger to kids, and he could not be allowed to just live his life

People like dark shit

Being taboo is literally part of the thrill, because it’s something that people don’t fucking go out and get in their normal life

There is no line in the sand that you can draw and say “this type of content is always bad and has no place in society” that will not immediately be used to silence minorities first (and usually only)

Spend a damn week enforcing the same purity standards on all your entertainment that you do on fic

Hint: you’ll never watch Game of Thrones again. Or 99.9% of historical fiction or fantasy. No war movies, which actually do have a negative effect on people

No more cop shows, procedurals, murder mysteries, and oh, if you like horror? Whole genre’s gotta go

The world has fucked up shit in it, and people will create and consume it in media. All you’re doing by trying to personally fucking judge the standards of fan content is making yourself look like an asshole

No one’s grabbing you by the fucking neck and making you read fic you don’t like

Show the same courtesy and keep your damn hands to yourself too

It’s none of your business what other people like until it affects you personally, and all this “fiction affects reality”? If you truly believe that aim your ass at Hollywood and Disney, the biggest creators of the most fucked up fiction

They never do

Just target fan communities and creators that they think they can bully into obeying

Not a single one of their actions would be allowed in the pure fiction utopia they want to police us into

[languajix]

(About your fic) Raph is such a supportive brother I love it. I am curious what is your headcanon for him?

Thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it :D

Raph being a supportive ally in this fic was a deliberate choice for narrative reasons! Because I wanted him to be a foil for his siblings as they figure themselves out - Donny, who is still unsure about their own gender at the time, talking to someone who is very secure in himself, and the two of them puzzling it out together was a really important scene in my head. The scene was built around Raph, who presents very masculine and is also very soft and kind at his core, and nobody else could have fit half as well.

In the fic, Raph belongs at pride because he's proud of his siblings, his flag is their colors (which was a little bit of symbolism that I was so incredibly happy to be able to include, I love our color coded characters here), and this story is about a wide spectrum of gender, from all of it, to none of it, to the standard amount in the standard configuration, and figuring out where you fit. And the answer is that they fit together, all of them, The Siblings Ever.

…That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy and buy in to fics/headcanons/concepts where he's not straight and cis to some degree; I've been reading fanfic in general for a long, long time now, and I've gotten to the point where I'll comfortably roll with just about anything, headcanon-wise, for just about anybody if someone writes it convincingly enough, and then turn around and read something totally opposite and vibe with it as well.

I don't think I have any particular headcanons for him myself. As the above, if I had an idea for a story where Raph being something else made sense, I'd jump in feet first. (And I'd love to tell more stories where Raph is more front and center, if I can find ideas that grab me.)

My memory is honestly quite terrible, especially for canon details and consistency in general, and I really look up to people who can write up detailed character analyses and come up with such real-feeling headcanons. Meta is a backbone of any fandom, and the people I see on my dash that write it are doing great work!

That was probably a way longer response than you were expecting...

[rune-tisms]

Do you have anything about your trans Moral Orel au you’d like to share? I’d love to hear more about it!

omgomg thank you so much for asking! i would love to tell more about it! :DD it's been consuming my brain so i'm so glad i can infodump about it rn ^_^

so in my mind, bloberta and clay both meet each other before they both transition, and somehow find out that they both aren't cis, and they connect through the struggles that they've both had to endure growing up in the christian community. i haven't fully figured out how i want them to get to this point, but they somehow get the resources to medically transition and then they get married, mostly because they feel like they only have each other (at this point both of their families have disowned them). they manage to pass as a good cis christian couple, and clay even agrees to having a child together in order to keep up appearances, and thus orel is born.

bloberta and clay begin to resent each other over the years, but not as much as in canon due to their unusual circumstances and the fact that they can both actually directly relate to each other on a very concrete part of their identities. orel is of course raised to be none the wiser about his parents being t4t, and in this au he'd probably have at least a slightly better home life than in canon.

now with shapey....well, he's the result of clay and danielle instead of clay and bloberta. danielle is accepting of clay, and doesn't think of him as any less of a man, which is part of the reason clay falls so hard for him. this causes immense strain on clay and bloberta though, even if they were both starting to accept that they don't love each other, at least not anymore. bloberta rightfully feels betrayed, and on top of that, she'll be the one to have to deal with any cheating rumors that get spread around. meanwhile clay is dealing with the guilt of being both trans and homosexual, and--although it's to a much lesser extent--the fact that he cheated on his wife.

tbh aside from these big changes, most main plot points stay the same, at least stuff that happens before nature. i really need to compile all of my ideas somewhere, but i've been too busy (and lazy) to write them down anywhere yet. this is the first time i've actually written anything pertaining to this au lol.

again, thanks so much for the ask anon! i'm so happy that this au seems to not just be something that only appeals to me :D

[bookishphysicsgirl]

Hello, I have a genuine question, especially for trans people since you are the most affected, regarding Harry Potter fan fiction.

I'll try to tag this appropriately so that anyone who doesn't wish to see any content regarding to this doesn't, but if it accidentally slipped through I'm sorry, just tell me what else to tag it as so it will be better blocked and I will.

Obviously Joanne is a delusional b**** and I will never be touching anything she writes or sells ever again, since it would be giving her funds to actively harm trans lives.

The only question I have is regarding fanfiction because I've been seeing many arguments about this and still can't quite make my mind up about what side is right, but the thing is none of the people I saw making statements about this were trans, so I would very much appreciate your opinion since I believe that your thoughts are the most valid in this situation.

The first argument is that HP fanfiction while not directly supporting J.K. and oftentimes going directly against her beliefs is still giving visibility to her work and ultimately attracting people to the world of HP that normally wouldn't have exactly because of the effort put in to fix the mistakes of the original text.

I think the way they put it was that she is "profiting off the free labor of the folk she despises".

I actually see how this can be true and it makes a lot of sense to me since, for example, when All The Young Dudes blew up on tik tok a lot of people who might otherwise not have done so started buying HP merch and getting it farther up in the trends, even though ATYD by itself is a very queer-positive work.

The second argument is that fanfiction is not directly supporting her and it is incredibly healing and supporting for many people struggling. Not only that it can be a platform to expose her wrongdoings and stop the fandom from becoming a home ground for hate groups.

The argument went somewhere along the lines of if a child receives the HP books from a relative unaware of all the issues and likes it and then goes looking for more content, if the fan content made by the queer community isn't there to receive them all they will be met with is people who reaffirm Joanne's toxic opinions and it could be extremely harmful to those children, especially if they are queer themselves and aren't aware yet.

I myself have gone to HP fanfiction when I was questioning my sexuality and when I was depressed and it helped me immensely to understand what was happening to me and that it was ok and normal.

Trans protagonists in HP fanfiction also helped me understand gender theory better and what might be going on in trans lives and how to be more respectful (disclaimer: I am a cis woman so I cannot speak for trans people, I am merely stating that it helped me understand).

Both of these arguments make a lot of sense to me, and I can't see which one would be more correct. On the one hand I think that stopping everyone from even interacting with fandom might be a bit extreme, on the other I can't help but worry whether that is just me creating an excuse to keep enjoying things I like.

I don't feel like I enjoy HP fanfiction for nostalgia, especially since I openly recognize that both the books and the movies were actually a bit boring and not that well written and haven't been able to re-read them since I was 12. I think it has a lot more to do with the healing factor of being able to disassociate to another world and see stories that reflect mine and see people feeling the same things I do. But I am more than willing to stop if it is in fact causing more harm than good, especially since the last thing I want is for Joanne to receive clout she does not deserve.

Either way, I just wanted to know your opinions in all of this, since as I mentioned before I've only ever seen cis people arguing about it (mostly on tik tok).

Thank you so much for reading all of this and thank you if you reply.

(note: I will not be tagging this with trans tags because I know that a lot of people can feel unsafe when met with content regarding Harry Potter)

[asstrofem]

What it is, what it ain't, what it's all about, and whatever else...

(Former pinned post? Yes.)

I'm a married black nonbinary transfem (they/she). I am stubbornly leftist and very queer*.

This blog is 18+ and nsfw. However, none of that means it's a porn blog. If you're constantly coming to my blog to hide SWers in your likes, you're getting blocked.

My time on tumblr: 2011-2018 (deactivated); 2022-present.

I usually have a queue pretty much all day if I feel like it. If not, I'm tired lol. If I'm on your blog, and it seems like I'm kinda, sorta spam-liking your posts, then it's very likely I'm also sending them to my queue.

Common tags include: #txt (formerly #she speaks), #shxt (For shitposts. I came up with this while sleep-deprived. Let's see if it sticks lol), #audio, #vgmusic, #youtube, #soundcloud, #bandcamp, #spotify, #audio/video, #important, #later, and #asks. As for photos of #me, there aren't many, but they're there if you'd like to gaze upon my flesh prison.

More about me: I'm a car girl with a hot wheels collection and a love for every generation of Miatas (however, GO NB GO NB GO). I'm into racing games, cozy simulators, survival games, and the occasional RPG. I love literature and if I'm not reading my usual leftist, socialist, queer, or feminist literature, I'm reading fantasy novels, science fiction, and anything by Stephen King, or N.K. Jemisin. I also love music and dabble in music production as one of my hobbies, but lately, my other hobby, writing, has been taking up more of my time. The latter craft has grown more attractive as the barrier of entry to being or becoming a writer has remained relatively low. Plus, I love (most of) my writing (now-.....er). Also, the music industry is so garbo now, so I'll definitely pass on that.

Favorite music genres include: Pop (I'm very picky on decades, and so far, this is the best one), almost every subgenre of house, hiphop, r&b, jazz, rock and metal artists that skew more avant-garde, progressive, experimental, or alternative (btw, I'm really enjoying math rock, atm), trance, drum & bass, jungle, garage, breakbeat, neurofunk, ambient music, movie soundtracks, tv soundtracks, video game soundtracks, and many more that I won't list because I listen to too much shit.

I'm married to a cis woman. The relationship is monogamous, however, lately, I've been thinking critically about monogamy. While I'm not sure that I'm polyamorous, I don't feel that the monogamy label applies to me either; maybe somewhere in between. Idk, but with all that being said, do not come to my DMs expecting a connection outside a platonic relationship.

Started HRT on 4/20/23 (yay). Paused it late May (boo). Restarted on 11/18/23 (OOOOOYEAHHHH)

*I'm sexually attracted to many but not all; I'm extremely sapphic and, not in any order, most attracted to femmes, butches, studs, and nonbinary folks. I have a preference for trans men and cis bisexual men over cishet men. The term for this is polysexual (I could be wrong, but I'm not writing a book, so I'm not checking it lmao), but since that word is not a common term, I will usually tell people I'm queer, instead.

WARNING: I am strongly against capitalism, fascism, imperialism, libertarianism, conservatism, and any type of bigotry, including, but not limited to, sexism, misogyny, racism, fat phobia, body-shaming, ableism, queer phobia, transphobia, islamophobia, etc. Minors, ageless blogs, blank blogs, stolen porn blogs, the aforementioned in the first bullet point, TERFs, fascists, SWERFs, and bigots DNI because you will be blocked. Liberals will not be blocked, but I don't agree with every liberal talking point. Pedos and other creeps will also be blocked, as well as reported. Cishet men, y'all are forever on thin ice, so either act right or I'm cracking the ice you skate on.

Other Socials (I rarely use these but if you do, let me know so I can have a reason to gtfo this place lol):

Bluesky

Cohost

[maya-matlin]

What are your top 3 least favorite episodes from each Next Class season & why?

Ooh, least favorites. Okay.

Next Class season 1:

1.) #ThisCouldBeUsButYouPlayin: This episode pisses me off. It's not just that Zig cheated on Maya. I still think it was a somewhat lazy writing choice that simplified what was going on with Zig and the tension between Zig and Maya, but in terms of what was actually happening during this episode I sadly bought that Zig would make the decision he did in a vulnerable moment. For me, the biggest issue was the Zoe/Grace arc. All these years later, I still can't rationalize why the show felt the need to write Grace as straight and make the entirety of the fallout Zoe's fault. Experimenting plots are fine. Questioning your sexuality only to realize you're cis/straight plots are fine. The problem is, none of that was told from Grace's perspective. Everything about Grace during the first season of Next Class was kind of shrouded in mystery with everything she said or did implying she liked girls and reciprocated Zoe's feelings. The show went as far as allowing Zoe and Grace to have sex only to have Grace come out as straight less than five minutes later all to facilitate a bullshit plot twist to break up Next Class's main straight couple. It felt really condescending and like the writers were almost lecturing the fans as well for making assumptions when the writing, editing, directing and acting was all intentionally done the way it was to lure everyone into believing they were getting lesbian representation in a pretty cruel way. In universe, I'm still not sure why Zoe of all people needed to learn that lesson when Grace refused to use her big girl words to tell her otherwise. Then obviously, there's the mess with Zig and Zoe. It was never confirmed that they slept together and outside stuff from the crew suggests they only made out, but it was definitely implied something sexual went down in the actual episodes. As a biased Zaya fan, obviously I'd like whatever they did to be anything else. But also, Degrassi repeatedly wrote sketchy sexual encounters that unintentionally skirted the line of how consent is supposed to work so I really don't want to have to work through "Zig only slept with Zoe because he was unaware she was making a sex tape of their underaged selves" on top of everything else. Needless to say, I can't be objective about this episode. The acting was strong and the Miles story line was good, but those aspects couldn't make up for such a frustrating episode. For all these reasons it will probably always be my least favorite Next Class episode, period.

2.) #BootyCall: In my opinion, this wasn't a great series or season premiere. It did an okay job reintroducing the characters to viewers who hadn't watched TNG or the recent seasons prior to the show's cancellation, but the tone always detracts from the episode for me. I can't explain it. I know Next Class is considered the weakest Degrassi show, but even beyond that something didn't translate well. it felt like a hard reset and not in the best way. In terms of writing things I didn't love, this was the beginning of Tristan's frequent biphobia that the writers never seemed to find problematic. Zig's suddenly bad at guitar. It's almost funny now.

3.) #SorryNotSorry: Hunter is literally an attempted school shooter who made an actual hit list involving multiple main characters, some of which were his own friends and a girl he'd already emotionally tortured for weeks. Somehow, the entire episode ends with Hunter crying prettily into the camera and being embraced by Miles. I understand Degrassi aims to make us empathize with all the characters and wants us to understand why they do what they do regardless of whether or not we like them. But at the same time, I'm so sick of sympathetic school shooter narratives. This is a perfect example of one thing I hate about later Degrassi. Hunter gets away with all of this rather than be held accountable. The school never knew Hunter actually had a gun and he returns to the school the next year like it's nothing. He's allowed to form another group with the friends he sent rape threats with the previous year as though nothing happened. Maya doesn't even get a proper apology from Hunter, and she helps that trashy group multiple times! I know I'm focusing a lot of the aftermath, but this was the beginning of that shift. Otherwise, Frankie starts dating Jonah and Zig keeps doing the "maybe he actually understands he was trash for cheating on Maya, maybe he doesn't" dance. I just feel terrible for Maya in all this.

Next Class season 2 (I'll have to do the rest of these from memory because I recently rewatched season 1 but have yet to get to seasons 2-4):

1.) #ToMyFutureSelf: I don't think I thought this episode was bad. I think it was just kind of underwhelming? Small things bugged me, but the plots weren't terrible. Lola was insufferable in this one. Five minutes after being educated about institutionalized racism, she lectures and shames Shay for considering sending an apology letter for taking part in the protest. Even Tiny understood. It's just one reason I'll never be a fan of this friendship. I barely feel like Shay and Lola like or respect each other. This was also the awkward plot where Maya had a thing for Peter of all people and was rubbing up against him on stage. Gross. Craig and Sav were right there and presumably single. Definitely one of the cruelest things the writers ever did to Maya.

2.) #TheseAreMyConfessions: I don't even know who Grace is during this episode. For some reason, she really wants to go on a summer road trip with Zig and is trying to become his girlfriend without having a proper conversation with either Maya or Zig about it, telling both of them things like "I think Zig's ready to move on" with it being clear that Maya assumes it will be with Esme because she actually knows him while Zig is told Maya's cool with a Zig/Grace coupling when she has no idea any of this shit is happening. I still remember watching this episode for the first time at like 5:00 AM over a stream from Australia because they were randomly airing this season first with my jaw dropped in disbelief. Grace finally got an A plot after all the bullshit and confusion and that's what she was given.

3.) #SquadGoals: Mostly, I just like the other episodes from this season better. I think it was a better season premiere than #BootyCall, but the plots mostly didn't keep me engaged. The aftermath of Zaya's breakup with Zig showing up at Maya's window was bittersweet knowing things between them were still pretty thoroughly broken and that there was zero chance of anything improving without time and distance away from each other. Otherwise, it's a pretty Hollingsworth heavy episode. I hate Hunter, and I cared less and less about Frankie with time. The Triles moment was sweet, though.

Next Class season 3:

1.) #HugeIfTrue: The thing about season 3 is that all of the episodes are good, so there aren't very many writing complaints from me. That might change when I rewatch the season. But out of all ten episodes, I liked this one least. I know it's a fan favorite, but I didn't love any of the story lines. I don't care about the gamers' dick sizes. Frankie and Jonah were never a compelling couple. The Shay/Tiny friction needed and deserved more screen time so that it could be understood where both were coming from. Shay at times didn't accept all of Tiny and it was unclear when that changed for her or if she was projecting due to her own insecurities about sex. Poor Tiny was mostly a peripheral character despite the fact he had loads of potential. And finally, I just don't like Mola. I've never felt the magic or been impressed by Miles's fourth consecutive romance with the only person that understands him. I do love that this is a bottle episode, though. It was well written and executed. It's just not a favorite of mine.

2.) #ThatFeelingWhen: Again, this is a good episode. I just like it less than most of the other season 3 episodes. I still don't like Miles and Lola together, so their part of the episode makes me cringe. But otherwise, Zoe and Rasha getting together was sweet, I liked Frankie beginning to realize relationships bring out the worst in her and (massive unpopular opinion) I was glad to see Tristan finally wake up.

3.) #PicsOrItDidntHappen: I keep repeating myself, but this was another good episode. Maya's plot was fantastic. I liked the other two plots slightly less. Miles was unnecessarily a dick to Rasha and seriously cast himself in a play that had only three parts. I'm never getting over that. I don't love watching Frankie and Jonah story lines. I'm really stretching to find reasons.

Next Class season 4:

1.) #ILookLikeA: I feel bad when I shit on episodes with really strong Miles plots just because the others are mostly terrible or forgettable in some way. Again, I will never like or care about Hunter. I'm not interested in his reaction to Yael's gender identity journey. I was also indifferent to Goldi and Winston hooking up. Otherwise, Miles's plot was great. I just wish the writers had bothered to touch on Tristan's biphobia because the opportunity was RIGHT THERE to resolve it.

2.) #GetMoney: I feel like the first half of season 4 is slightly weaker than the second half. This is still a good episode. But no plots jump out at me as being great. Saad's is probably the best one, but it's mostly set up for stuff that happens later in the season. Shay's story line didn't grab me as much as I wanted it to, but maybe that will change when I rewatch season 4.

3.) #GetYouAManWhoCanDoBoth: There's nothing wrong with this episode. It's just kind of average considering 405-407 and 409 and 410 are some of Next Class's strongest episodes. I actually like Tristan's story line, but I'll always be disappointed this was all we got of his recovery. His character was put in a coma almost entirely in service of Miles's plot. So as a result, whatever development he has is kind of relegated to this one episode because the writers gave him nothing else. The subplots are pretty good. The Lola/Saad stuff was mostly setup while the aftermath of Shay and Tiny's first time is mostly just there to give Richard Walters an excuse to dance. So, I can't complain.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

for the character ask game: naomi bsd and/or frog girl from bnha 💕

hiiiiii ilyyyyyyyy mwah <333

tanizaki naomi:

first impression: oh dear god. not another teruhashi makoto. pls. noooooo. also erica lindbeck i love youuuuu

impression now: oH MY GOD SHE DESERVES BETTER they are just siblings SHE IS SO SMART AND STRONG AND SNEAKY AND SUPER DOPE ALSO ERICA LINDBECK ILY

favorite moment: either when she sassed fitzgerald or when she and haruno were running away from steinbeck and lovecraft and she was kind of taking charge and being all dope!!!

idea for a story: ummm i already wrote my main one, but i'd like to do like... idk a naomi & ranpo bonding fic or a jun'ichirou creates the illusion and like the story on how that happened and yada yada yada or like something with the line, "you can't kill me. i'm not alive" but i don't have Any ideas for that lol

unpopular opinion: she is a relevant character and is under-utilized and is SO interesting and people should just ignore the i.ncest stuff bc they're either pretending they're siblings or just siblings who are super close toe ach other bc naomi is dead and when jun'ichirou remade her with light snow, his yearning to be with her again or to hug her again manifested in her illusion being super clingy--

favorite relationship: romantic? none. platonic? i love her relationship with haruno, and also i think that she and ranpo are besties!!! i wrote a whole fic about it lol bc like... idk just the idea of naomi being light snow and ranpo knowing but not being able to do anything about it and having to accept it even though they don't know how and then avoiding her bc they don't understand and then find naomi scary but then they find out that she's actually a huge gossip and sneaky and will do silly things with them--

favorite headcanon: she's dead, actually <333 she died in an earth quake and she's just an advanced illusion from light snow <333 also she and ranpo are gossip besties, sometimes including dazai <333

asui tsuyu:

first impression: OH MY GOD GRACE WILL LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH HOLY TRASH!!! FROG!!! ELDEST DAUGHTER!!! n e ways never knew that was a quirk - that's freaking DOPE man!!!

impression now: frog is still a DOPE quirk and also i love her and she deserves to be happy and safe and to curl up in a lil heated blanket during the winter with a cup of something warm

favorite moment: tbh i liked the moment when she was like "yo let's Not go after bakugou" like not bc i don't think he deserved to be rescued by his classmates, but bc like. that was brave of her, ya know? and like i GET it. she doesn't want anyone else to get hurt and she doesn't want to ignore what the teachers said. it's like. she knows they're all still kids and that they shouldn't have to do that kind of stuff yet, you know?

idea for a story: ummmm idk if i have any ideas right now off the top of my head, but i think a tsu eldest sibling story would be DOPE and would be really fun to write tbh and like... how being the eldest sibling shows when they live in the dorms

unpopular opinion: uhhh idk if i know any like... REALLY popular tsu headcanons? i do know that i don't ship them with tokoyami, but that's the best i can give ya

favorite relationship: uhh i don't have any romantic relationship headcanons for her tbh. but i do love her friendship with the dekusquad

favorite headcanon: idk tsu's gender, but they certainly aren't cis lol, also she is on the arospec <333 also i like to think she's good at staring at people. like... making them feel uneasy under their GAZE lol

let me scream about blorbos tehe?

[variousqueerthings]

something about the fluid shifting of queerness as situational

i haven't spent much time in my life in wholly lesbian spaces -- my wondering if I was a lesbian took about 2 seconds and a socially anxious bartrip in which nobody talked to me and landed on bisexual-but-not-doing-anything-either-way (which then, shockingly, veered straight into asexual the second i knew anything about the term)

lotta transmasc people I know were lesbians first, but when i hang out with them we tend to bond more on the masc and the trans of it all, we're bois/boys/dandies/etc. (which are also terms you of course hear in lesbian spaces)

I went to an event the other day a city over, which was centred around a writing tutor of mine who got top surgery in their 50s, a dyke, nb, butch, naturally the crowd was - i wanna say - probably 90% lesbians and sapphics (some trans in a multitude of ways, some cis)

we all went for drinks afterwards and i was swept into the glorious heady mix of them all, i was dressed in a shirt and floral tie and at one point one of my new friends commented on it, saying how cool it was to see the queer deconstruction of masculinity in a subtly floral tie, and i spoke for awhile with a few dykes in their 50s, a wonderful older butch hugged me and said how lovely it had been to meet me, a femme told me about her phd work, and i was feeling butch and great about it (limp wrist and all)

and in that moment i realised how i would have existed in this exact space a lot more if i'd been coming out in the 90s, or coming out differently than i did. i wasn't going into the nuances of my sexuality-and-gender (none of us were of course), except for briefly with my writing tutor who already knew and we discussed a bit about asexuality and kink and the artistic exploration thereof, and a lovely finnish nb person who's doing cool work documenting experiences in finland, so for all intents and purposes i leaned into the parts of myself that are lesbian in a way ive never really been able to before

was feeling oh this is what it feels like to desire the company of women and lesbians and bi sapphics in this particular dyke-community way and i wasn't just included in the space, i belonged there, it was my space with them, we were sharing our commonalities and stories with one another, we were celebrating this occasion that we understood the weight of, because of our shared histories. when i think about my writing tutor and the language around the art that was created for that event, there was no translation needed because it was for our community

it was pretty special all around, i feel lucky as all hell that this is my life now, these are the spaces that want me and welcome me

[rainbowamory]

Being trans ⚧♂

I wanted to write a longer thing, and better worded, but I don’t really feel like doing that right now. This being the time of year for Pride celebrations makes me think about my own feelings about it again, which has been complicated by seeing the filthy hypocrisy in society regarding human rights.

Morality based on popularity, the crutch that people who lack intellect hold on to.

This is not a happy post, and I don’t want to trigger anyone so pls don’t read this if you are in need of a more positive outlook about being trans. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all in a moral sense…  This is more about how I feel about being trans myself, just the reality of it for me specifically, not generally.

Ok, so again, don’t read if you are in need of positivity.

........

I want to narrow this down to the main thoughts in my head because there are too many to put in one post. So here it is. These feelings aren’t new to me. I’ve felt them my whole life, especially during my teens when the dysphoria became worse.

As an adult, I have learned these two things about myself with regards to being transgender. One: I have made peace with the fact that I will never make peace with it. And Two: I am an ‘all or nothing’ person after all, which explains the first thing.

The concept of “Gender Euphoria” is something I find imposing and not fully relatable to me. I don’t feel gender euphoria except in times when I am roleplaying or when I think of some kind of afterlife.

Gender dysphoria and perpetual mourning is more familiar to me.

I want trans rights to advance, but I can’t engage with much of it, because it’s too close to home, too personal and extremely triggering to me. And I know the truth…. None of it can make me happy. What I want… what I want most, is an apology from God.

I want some kind of ‘refund’. I want the choice that was never given to me. The choice that is not given to anyone, but the lack of which causes pain only to some.

I don’t want to hear phrases like “you’re fine the way you are”. It’s meaningless and offensive in a strange way, because it shows only cis people’s ignorance on the source of someone’s pain.

If I was ever unaware of the source of my pain, it was only in childhood. I understood exactly what it was in my teens, and it’s the same now.

I want a conversation. And I want an apology. And at the end of that apology, I want a choice. I want to choose my body from the tip of my hair to the tip of my toes, down to the last cell, down to the last chromosome and DNA strand… I want to be XY. XY. XY. XY. For eternity. I want only that. That conversation, and that moment.

I dream about it every day.

I don’t ever want to return to this disgusting world if it turns out that Reincarnation is a thing, because I am not taking a chance again to be born in the wrong body.

This has been to me the single most traumatizing thing I have ever experienced. As if it isn’t bad enough to go through this, we have to live in this sick world, where fools reduce trans peoples lives to cheap jokes and memes regularly and disrespect the same intelligence that they’re perfectly capable of recognizing if they didn’t know the individual was trans.

I have so many thoughts… so many on this topic. But most times I cannot get myself to write them down because I know in my heart that trans activism and advances in surgery and hormones and allies and pronouns are not going to give me what I really want as an ‘all or nothing’ person.

I live my life because I have a childhood dream I am not ready to let go of.

When I say I am trapped in the wrong body, that’s not some metaphor. I mean it in a literal sense. People are at all times more than their bodies. Minds/feelings/souls… these things are real too.

I will settle for band-aids, which is what I believe pronouns are, but I will not accept substitutes. I will keep alive the vision I have in my head of that conversation I want and that apology, because until that day I cannot and will not ever say I have found peace.

Transgender is not an identity for me. It’s a circumstance.

The identity is what is on the inside: the gender. The circumstance is that I’m trapped in the wrong body.

I don’t know what to say about Pride, because I used to benefit from it emotionally, but now all I see is the transphobia in that community and the racism too. And it’s hard to get anything good from it anymore.

I’ll leave it at that.

[shredmytapestry]

QUADE WONG ( HE/HIM ) is a CIS MALE, TWENTY-FIVE year old LAW STUDENT who has been living in Moorbrooke for HIS WHOLE LIFE. They were born on MAY 23 and right now, they are currently residing in REDGRAVE GROVE. It has been said that they look suspiciously like APO NATTAWIN and if they had to choose a song to describe themselves, they would choose KARMA by TAYLOR SWIFT.

stats.

full  name: quade wong nicknames: q age: twenty-five faceclaim: apo nattawin sexual orientation: bisexual birthplace: moorbrooke, me

tw drugs ( he sells, it only mentions it briefly )

biography.

welcome to quade ! he’s someone i’ve played before but definitely not this young so i’m going to keep it brief

he also wants to do so much work to improve the social worker situations & foster care in america! this all stems from having the most emotionally distant parents and many friends who got stuck in the wrong end of the foster system 

he’s in family law because bestie wants to find ways to get kids out of abusive situations and just ensure everyone has loving parents ( since he did not :c )

he’s dorky! like insanely dorky. he thinks he’s so bad ass because he’s in a “ gang “ think hellfire club lmao. it’s a bunch of dorks who get together and ride motorcycles, wear engraved faux leather jackets and stop bullying djhsczbnsxmksd

the one actual bad ass thing he does do is sell drugs... his shit is never mixed and ever since getting into law school, he does it... less. but still knows people and can get you your shit 

but he’s never tried anything harder than weed  

he has GIANT heart! he is always willing to offer a helping hand or help out. he loves first and gets to know people second

but because of his 1. wealth and 2. social status he’s often misjudged and that’s when he lashes out. he wants to make his own name, not live in the shadow of his older siblings (wc) or parent’s. so he’s petty, he wants to prove everyone wrong. being a good person isn’t genetics, it’s how you’re brought up and it’s the people you surround yourself with.

quade is def a bit of a fuck boy.... not in the sense that he’s cheating, but he’s falling in love left right and centre and yet none of it has felt real yet. he LOVES love and he can’t wait to be in love, so his dorky ass is always talking to someone or other. he loves being bi, and also a big ol’ slut! 

ok that’s all i have rn bye

wanted connections. 

older sibling - any gender/age, thai fc... they have a complicated relationship and quade finds it hard to trust them. he rarely relies on them for anything because he’s always been let down in the past. we can plot more !!

exes - any and all tbh... he’s been around forever so come at him

friends 

hookups 

people he sold drugs to

gang members!! i’ll write up this wc properly later but it’d be so fun

[pierce-walker]

[ patrick gibson, cis male, he/him ]  - was that PIERCE WALKER i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the THIRTY year old who has been in nightrest for HIS WHOLE LIFE and works as an ARCHIVIST AT WARDWELL & SINGER-SONGWRITER has a reputation of being CREATIVE, but also INDIFFERENT. he resides in ASHMORE & people in town usually associate him with A BEAT-UP ACOUSTIC GUITAR, GOLDEN HOUR LIGHTING, and PAPERS SCATTERED ACROSS THE ROOM. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after him next. 

[ penned by sen, 18+, they/them, cst / gmt-6 ]

BASICS: FULL NAME: Pierce Walker NICKNAMES: N/A DATE OF BIRTH: 1993.08.12 AGE: 30 HOMETOWN: Nightrest, MA ORIENTATION: Bisexual GENDER: Cis male, he/him ETHNICITY: American OCCUPATION: Archivist at Wardwell Academy and singer-songwriter

PHYSICAL: FACECLAIM: Patrick Gibson HEIGHT: 5'11" / 180cm BUILD: Tall, broad SKIN: Pasty HAIR: Blond EYES: Blue EXTRAS: None

PERSONALITY: + traits: Creative, observant - traits: Nosy, pushy, stubborn, tenacious, oblivious, hyper-focused

BACKGROUND:

TWs: car crash, death

Pierce never knew his birth family. His parents were a secret, hiding their relationship away. His mother didn’t expect or want him: as soon as he was born, he was put up for adoption. He knows very little about his birth family in general, only having connected back up with his father about five years ago.

He was adopted by a couple in Ashmore and grew up with them. They weren’t exactly the nicest couple in the world, certainly a bit absent (they probably shouldn’t have adopted a child), but they weren’t abusive.

When he was six, his mother wanted him back. He doesn’t remember much of it, just a lot of arguing between adults. However things ended up, she never showed up again.

When Pierce was eighteen, his adoptive parents died in a car crash. It was an accident, a slippery ice-covered road and a late-night drive just happened to be a bad combination. He inherited their wealth and household and has been living there ever since.

When he was twenty-five, his birth father showed up on his doorstep begging for money, claiming his fatherhood. Confused (and still upset by the death of his adoptive parents), Pierce gave him some (his second mistake—his first was opening the door). The two have had an uneasy relationship ever since, which primarily consists of the older man leeching money off of Pierce whenever possible, and only somewhat being an actual father. Pierce feels somewhat bad about not reaching out to his birth parents before now and doesn’t want to cut off the only connection he now has.

OTHER (didn’t fit anywhere else):

he started playing acoustic guitar at age twenty and picked it up quickly. he likes the ease of use he gets with it—it's easy to just pick up and start playing at any time.

after his adoptive parents' death he began drowning his sorrows in music rather than at the bottom of a glass. when he picked up a guitar for the first time, it suddenly clicked that he could make music of his own, and he started writing songs. as of now, he doesn't have anything published, but he does have a large collection of half-finished music that he'll "get out at some point."

he has no idea that he has a half-brother. no clue.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

all the normal connections: friends, lovers, flings, exs, whatever you've got, bring it on—the man's lived here his whole life, there's lots to do and catch up on.

as of right now, i don’t have much off of the top of my head! for now, i’m down for anything! feel free to shoot me all your plotlines—lovey-dovey, angsty, just chat-y, whatever. i’ll update this soon!