#mean to get attached but now I’m attached and they are getting more developed every day haha

[teruuu]

Exploring The Complexities of The Lamb and Narinder’s Relationship

Long post warningsgsgsgsgsh!!!!!! 🥺🥺

For those of you who want a quick rundown of what the AU’s about, check out the link at the bottom of the post.

Warning: Mentions of Cannibalism, Unhealthy & Obsessive Relationships, and Spoilers for The Art of Acquiring Devotion

Now, firstly, I’ll have to give my thanks to @nimbudcat for providing me with ideas as to how the relationship would function and opening the gateway for me to fully explore all the nooks and crannies of their romance.

I’m no expert on the deep complexities of toxic relationships, so I don’t have the courage to fully label the Lamb and Narinder’s love as ‘toxic’, but I know damn well that it’s not a normal love at all. Let’s think—what is a normal, healthy relationship composed of? Trust, of course. Mutual love and trust, absolute honesty... Those are the most basic building blocks of a healthy relationship. In this AU, for Narinder and Lamb, those concepts are extremely warped. They have all of those components in their relationship, but it’s so twisted that it’s difficult for me to define their romance as either healthy or unhealthy.

Narinder and Lamb trust each other, and it runs so deep that the best descriptor for that trust is pure devotion. They trust each other with their lives. This may not make sense since they are immortals, but think about it—the cannibalism that they inflict upon one another results in death for the two, each and every time, and they trust only one another for their resurrections. They allow the most vulnerable parts of themselves only to one another, and this is so incredibly meaningful because of all the aspects of their pasts. They trust themselves of course to always only tell the truth to each other, and the love that they share is simply reverent.

Now, let me elaborate on why all the things I expanded on above mean so much. Let’s start with the Lamb. I as I said in my previous post, the Lamb’s past for this AU is derived from my fanfic. We don’t know much at all about pre-sacrifice Lamb in-game, so I took the liberties to expand on their world myself. I’ll allow some passages from my fanfic to speak for itself:

It was through these traumatic experiences that the Lamb became hungry at the thought of companionship. No, the Lamb doesn’t just want some of Narinder’s Big Fluffy Gyatt™. As I’ve depicted in my other artworks, in this AU the Lamb considers Narinder as their savior, their one and only salvation, and perhaps the only person that has ever cared about them. And this is where things start to get murky—it’s because of this that the Lamb is so incredibly attached to Narinder and is absolutely insane about him.

The Lamb isn’t just attached, actually. They’re obsessed with Narinder. So obsessed that they develop a panic if they don’t hear his voice after more than half an hour. So obsessed that they begin to see any and all followers that interact with him as an enemy. This is also why I hesitate to consider this as toxic, because, see, Narinder likes it.

Moving on to Narinder’s part of the AU, it’s important to understand that, although he pretty much brought it to himself because of his high and mighty behavior, he was also quite isolated in his earlier years.

For Narinder’s side, he firmly believed himself to always be in the right. Think of it as a mad scientist whose ideas are way ahead of his generation. He had innovative thoughts and concepts in mind in the duration of his reign. He’d been supplemented by the knowledge that Shamura had provided him with, and that caused him to possess the mind of a radical inventor. Unfortunately, his ideas were less than desirable for the rest of his siblings and his own followers, so little by little the worship he received dwindled. Narinder was frustrated by this—why couldn’t anyone see the genius that he had to offer? Initially he had good intentions in mind, but he grew a tyrannical mind and eventually decided that the only way for the world to see his wonders is to force it beneath his feet.

Eons of imprisonment provided no aid for his mind. What once was a head full of wonders that could potentially change the world for the better became a twisted and cruel version of itself. Violence and revenge plagued his mind, and it became his one and only obsession. So, when the Lamb came to him, he relished in the worship they had to offer.

Their devotion for one another is purely mutual, but at the same time fully in their own self-interests. The Lamb is devoted to Narinder because Narinder is all that they care about in their mind, and they desperately require Narinder for them to continue living on. As for Narinder, he had never acquired such a passionate follower before, and he grew an addiction for the love that they have to offer. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not.

They are incredibly violent for one another because that’s all they know. They don’t understand what it’s like to have a normal relationship. They cling to one another, kill for one another, and eat one another because they need each other so badly. The cannibalism is an expression of their eager desire to simply blend into one another because that’s just how much they want the other.

They know it’s wrong. They hate that it’s wrong. They hate each other for making each other feel so wrong and so crazy. But they so, so want it to be right.

(Okay sorry for the bad essay lmao adios)

[wigglebox]

Arrival! [original characters Max and Jude]

[acid-ixx]

I hope you don’t mind but I need to ramble this to someone, neglected Wayne reader right? The fam would forget to bring them to social events and whatnot right? So there would be very few pictures, articles and interviews or even facts about them, meaning that reader Wayne is a rarity. Still following me? Reader Wayne with a small but devout fanbase.

I’m talking they are trading the latest pictures and sharing links to the rare interview with reader in it, following any social media they have that isn’t private, they are just fascinated by this micro celebrity that seems to always be forgotten. Okay but also imagine one of the heroes developing a para-social attachment to reader. My money is on Conner Kent, mainly bc he can project his own issues with his dads onto reader and he can Dolores ~Encanto~ reader with his super hearing and develop a even bigger parasocial obsession with them

I hope you enjoyed this ramble, I will leave you be now, see ya later alligator! 🐊

omg another one of my asks that actually predicted a major plot point... this ask ties well with the last part written here. i'm thinking about having the reader get a love interest/s but i have already written an outline but one thing is for sure—

you have more than just your family interested in taking you.

major spoilers below the cut. — an excerpt from chapter xx

(name) wayne may have been a name forcefully deleted off of the face of the internet, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its conspiracies of its own. nobody knows who you are beyond the blurry, unsolicited pictures of you. it may have been a photograph of your back, or articles published in unknown websites and buried at the far end about a kid entering through the fancy gates of the wayne manor.

you are a product of a one-night-stand.

but they don't know who the mother is, don't know your age, or where you come from, and what business bruce has with the woman to guarantee your adoption at the instance she had disappeared without warning.

your existence was a mystery most would like to solve. after all, it was your picture that was plastered all over the newspapers and articles, it was your name that journalists whisper and it was a silhouette of your face that the underground knows by heart. every known information about you was shared discretely yet efficiently like some sort of virus.

you were a target for interest, a large sum of money if they will. and alfred had taken it in his hands to make sure there would never be a repeat of what had happened before.

it was a clumsy mistake, one that cost you your memories, and one he swears on his life he'll never make again.

the first course of action he needs to arrange, which may seem difficult for most; he needs to confront bruce.

after all, your freedom is your doom.

maybe this is out of the picture, but id' like to imagine you and connor having a therapy session where one comes out absolutely obsessed with the other, and it's not you.

connor's character for me is so, so good for an angst potential. it's like his personal struggles is a way for him to show you how absolutely you two are meant to be. and he may have met you through bumping into you (false) or maybe... he has seen you stalking through the shadows back when he visits the manor. using his superhearing, he can hear your voice from the kitchen begging alfred to relay a message to bruce, sounding so absolutely desperate. it's the way you tell alfred how you wished your father actually spends time with you, or how nobody seems to notice you— that he kind of just makes a silent promise that he will talk to you soon, he needs to know why this family seems so keen on ignoring and how hypocritical tim is for literally doing the same thing to you when he's aware of kon's past.

if he (or anyone else) should be a love interest (though he is a minor character in the series unless you guys want him to be a major one), i can already imagine the absolute hell you have to suffer not only from your family but from your own lover. just imagine the stockholm syndrome or the delusions you convince yourself with because you're finally loved by someone but that love restricts you from the very freedom you tried to build.

the batfamily would be so conflicted because why are you choosing some stranger over them...? then you slap them in the face with, "well, this "stranger" wants to kidnap me and lock me up, sure! but at least they actually looked at me for more than five seconds!" and you can watch how the color drains off their face, their conflict giving you the perfect opportunity to run away from both your ex-family and your soon-to-be-kidnapper-lover who thinks your comeback is a funny way for you to propose.

[callie-the-creator]

the boy from second period

nsfw. mdni. warnings: yandere behavior, stalking, emo oc being delulu, mentions of self harm, brief smut but you’ll most likely miss it if you blink lol, you get the picture.

author’s note: the yandere in this is just an oc i whipped up for the sake of writing some yandere!emo boy hcs— 😭✋🏻 but if i’m being honest, this is more chronological hc stuff. from where he first met you to now.

• elijah was never much of a romantic. in fact, he cursed the name of love…frequently. it was becoming more of a hobby as of late. he was exhausted tired of spending valentine’s day alone, having no one to spend time with during the holidays, or spending so much money on promposals or simply ask someone to a dance only to have them reject him…

— he swore that he wouldn’t lose himself and not develop some crush to save himself from the embarrassment of his affections getting denied. lord knows that he can’t handle rejection well, as he tries to open a vein every time he does…things were better this way.

…

…

…

• that was until a few weeks into his senior year when you suddenly moved from (your school name) to his: willowbrook high.

• he only knew you were new because in the middle of his second period, you came in with a schedule in hand, asking if this was english 11 with mrs. hadley…it was. of course it was.

— at first, elijah paid you no mind. he mentally sorted you into a category with how he saw the rest of his classmates. a waste of his time.

• it didn’t help that mrs. hadley decided it was a great idea to sit you with elijah, given that he sits at a table by himself in the corner of the room. he felt almost embarrassed when he was called out and it wasn’t like he could just say ‘no,’ especially not in front of all these people…so, he endured it.

• for now

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦

• what followed were two excruciatingly long weeks for poor elijah. the only times you two talked were brief. i mean it. 🥲

“hey!”

“…hello.”

“how are you doing?”

“fine. you?”

“i’m good. thanks for asking.”

• …and then fate had a funny way of twisting things! aka mrs. hadley assigned a partner project to the class, but the catch was that she already picked who people were going to be paired with and shockingly (yet he could see it coming from a mile away), you and elijah were picked to be each other’s partners.

— it flipped his world upside down, completely blindsiding him because this could only mean one thing: elijah was going have to step out of his comfort zone and to be forced to spend more time with you, primarily outside of school. yikes!

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦

• even though it took a little time, you and elijah started talking more, both outside and inside of school. it even got to the point where he feared that he had grown attached to you, but that’s just crazy talk!…right?

• he would even find himself stalking your socials to learn more about you as a person, so he knows what to not do casually bring up the next time he sees you

• he hated to pat himself on the back, but elijah has deemed himself as the first official friend that you’ve made ever since you came to willowbrook

— but this didn’t mean that he didn’t get jealous.

• you always had ideas on how you two could spend more time together such as giving each other playlists for song recommendations, going to the movies, things like that…but elijah didn’t like whenever you suggested doing something that concerned more than just each other’s company. crowds.

— he fucking hated crowds, mainly the school’s football games because it meant that your undivided attention wouldn’t constantly be on him.

— and it doesn’t help that you are oblivious to his blossoming crush on you and start to swoon over the cute band geeks or football players. elijah felt like a sore thumb, someone not worthy of your time…even though he knows deep down in his heart that you and him are meant to be together.

• if there is a point where he catches you talking with another guy, elijah will give him the nastiest look in all of existence.

— there are a few times where elijah has just flat-out lies to a few of your classmates and told them that you and him were dating just so they would back off. there have been lots of close calls.

• he’s one clingy bastard. he’ll admit that outright.

• after dropping you off at home, elijah will return to his house feeling pent up, and if that happens, he’ll l do one of two things:

use a sharp kitchen knife to carve your name into the thick of his pasty thigh. he will even make sure to cut a giant heart around it for extra gusto. and, yes…he does take photos of his beautiful work. he wants to send them all to you, desperately, but knows that they’ll only scare you off.

wank one off to some photos of you that you either posted or took himself, or into one of your undergarments that he was able to steal. still…his hand and your underwear pales in comparison to what pleasure you could give him. elijah wants to feel your warmth. cuddle you closely and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he presses his naked body against yours.

• he wants you so bad…

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦

• unfortunately, all good things can’t last forever. the time for the project ended and as expected, you two passed with flying colors, but this didn’t mean that you and elijah stopped contacting each other completely, but it was…different. different from what it was.

— elijah didn’t like that. not one bit.

— he wants to be your boyfriend. he wants to be your boyfriend. he wants to be your boyfriend. he WANTS to be YOUR boyfriend!

• he has even taken up photoshopping as a hobby, so he can edit him into every single photo you have posted. oh, he can’t wait for the day where nothing but your beautiful face fills his camera roll.

— well…more than it does now anyway.

• that’s when he had an epiphany. there is a school dance coming up. as much as elijah didn’t want to blow through his money, he knew that you were worth it. all those lovely conversations you shared with him couldn’t be for nothing, right? you MUST like him back.

• and that’s how he spent the next few nights, thinking of ideas for the board and when he finally had an idea of what he could do, he wasted no time in making it for you.

• when elijah got to school, he made sure to ask you in the morning since he didn’t want to be holding the board the entire day.

• but…

• you immediately shook your head when he popped the magic question.

• he instinctively laughed at this, but not in a condescending way. he just didn’t understand why you were doing this to him. all eyes were on him, not you. you like him back, don’t you, so why are you toying with him?

• seeing that elijah clearly wasn’t getting the hint, you verbally say that you don’t want to go to the dance with him which causes him to freeze up like a scared goat.

• you’re shitting him, right? RIGHT?!

you. bitch.

you’re going to regret saying no to him.

[alexiroflife]

hii!! i recently read your ‘Five more minutes?’ story with Choso and am absolutely in love with it, i’ve read it a million times already! i’m so so sorry to ask but are there any plans for a part 2?

thank you so much, and again i’m sorry for asking! take care! 🫶

"beyond that"

"five more minutes": part 2, college au, mutual pining, FLUFF

choso kamo x writing tutor!reader

Synopsis: you and choso, now having been studying with each other for weeks, battle the development of your "little" crushes on one another

to sum it up: at this point, tutoring is the last thing on either of your minds

WC: 4,673

Warning(s): noneeeee, just fluff everywhere

Choso, admittedly, is incredibly nervous.

He doesn't know why after weeks of visiting you as his writing tutor, you have managed to have this affect on him - yet, nevertheless, his heart is pounding and his palms are sweating as he makes his way over to your now usual spot at the library, just outside the school cafe which is attached to the quiet building.

He goes through this every time he has a meeting with you. The two of you will shoot a few texts back and forth about your upcoming meeting time, the brunette would anticipate the day all week until it finally comes and his nerves are eating him alive, his face will burst into flames and his mind will drag him through every possible outcome that could turn out poorly in your presence to make him appear less favorable in your eyes, and then he'd see your face, watch you smile kindly in greeting at him, and all of is anxieties would melt away in an instant.

You have a comforting air about you, though you continue to work his nerves like crazy. While you are beautiful enough to strip the air from his lungs when he lays eyes on you and you are so humbly intelligent that it makes his head spin on his neck, you soothe him with your approach, with your voice, with your gentle advice and teachings that have helped elevate his writing skills immensely, more so than they had developed over the four years he had been attending this school.

As intimidating as you are physically, you bring Choso peace in a subject that has always aroused such stress in his life, and he is so grateful, so baffled by this magical skill that you have that he continues to return to you for more.

He did not mean to develop the crush on you that he harbors now, but how could he not? You are a breath of fresh air, a glimmer of sunlight in a world he previously deemed to be drab and dull. You're light, and fun, and down to earth, and helpful, and unintentionally charming in an adorably shy, giddy way and it makes the violet-eyed man's knees wobble and his throat run dry every time you giggle softly to ease your apprehension in his presence.

Choso loves your tutoring sessions so much, he never wishes them to end. He feels that the hour he now has carved out with you is hardly enough time, and he needs more of you - more of your face, more of your gentle voice speaking directly to him, more of your bright (e/c) eyes that soak up every ray of light that beams into your rented study room, more of the press of your lips together as you smile warmly and fully up at him when he catches on to something you taught, more of your pretty fingers grasping a pen and scribbling over his work, more of the little smiley faces you have begun to doodle onto his drafts alongside your notes.

Choso wants more of you, all of you, but he does not know how to get you. He hardly sees you outside of your sessions, and when he does, its in brief passing and you are too far away to take notice of him catching sight of you. He tries to extend your text conversations when scheduling, but they never go much further than a repetitive expression of thanks for your help or a short inquiry about how your day has been.

You're eating him alive in his mind, and it is driving him crazy. He has no idea what to do with this little obsession he has developed over you except to cling to every second he spends next to you in the library as you work through each and every aspect of his project and then some. Choso finds he has even begun to tune out when you speak to him, his thoughts so entranced by thoughts of you that he is too busy ogling over the new color you have painted over your nails, or the scent that clings to your skin, or the pattern of the skirt that you decided to wear to your meeting with him.

And you, just as smitten with your tutee, feel yourself reverting back to a bumbling schoolgirl mentality when you see him. You're always grinning ear to ear when you catch wind of Choso walking through the door and toward you, his lips curving into a soft smile when he sees you in return. And when you are tutoring him, you pay far too close attention to how far away his hand is from yours when you write over his paper, how the quick brush of your palms sparks your body to life and has you nibbling down on the inside of your lip to suppress a smile.

You like Choso. You like the way he thinks, the way he works, how lowly he speaks as though he is constantly tired, and yet how sprinkles of passion flutter their way into his speech when he discusses his research findings or other unrelated topics like his younger brother. You like the way he sits in his chair next to you, first slouching back with his legs sprawled before him before hunching forward with loose fists to the surface of the table, one leg stretched out while the other bends at the knee under the table. You like the way he focuses, the way his gorgeous lavender eyes flitter over the paper as the two of you work, then up at you when he believes that you are not paying attention, holding the image of your face until you peek up and he's snapping his eyes away as though he has been staring ahead the entire time.

God, you like how he surprises you with his warmth and generosity, his knowledge and selflessness. You like how he looks to the world with curiosity, with a clear goal, and how he acts better than he can form words - you think it proves his genuine spirit, his honesty.

You like damn near everything about him, except for when he has to leave, and he fails to ask to see you outside of an academic setting when he stands before you and stares, stammering whatever he says about having enjoyed the time you've given him. You hate when you have to watch him walk away from you, and how you have to wait another week until you see him again.

You wonder if you have deluded yourself into believing that he could return any form of attraction to you. You catch him staring at you all the time, and you see the bubble of his iMessage pending and disappearing frequently as though he is attempting to think of a way to talk to you but second-guessing so. You think the two of you have good conversations even outside of school-related topics when you are together, and you think he enjoys your company, but he never acts on it. Could it be that you are reading into things? You are his tutor after all. He could be simply behaving respectfully or showing you basic human decency by being kind. You're not sure, but one thing you do know is that you're tired of only getting to see him once a week.

You figure it does not matter when you see that familiar head of brown hair making its way past the cafe and toward the study room on the far left that the two of you have been reserving for the past few weeks. You brighten instantly and give a small wave when Choso's face comes into view. His eyes find yours through the glass and he smiles, waving in turn with rosy cheeks.

"Hi, Cho!" you greet chirpily. Choso's feet almost trip over themselves as he opens the door and walks in, the nickname you have taken to referring to him by still new on his ears, as it makes his heart skip a beat.

"H-Hey," he clears his throat, throwing his bag to the floor and taking a seat next to you. "How are you?"

"I'm good," you smile widely. "I like your outfit."

The brunette looks down at his choice of clothing, an oversized Rise Against hoodie and tattered baggy jeans. "Oh, thanks," he mumbles, looking back up at you. "You listen to Rise Against?"

"No," you admit sheepishly. "I just like the way those colors on you."

"Really? It's just black."

You point to the splashes of yellow and red in the graphic detailing. "Yeah, but the yellow brings out your eyes," you say rather casually, and the tips of Choso's ears burn at the compliment.

"Thank you..." he mumbles, averting his gaze and scratching the back of his neck. "I... um... I like your nails today."

Your brows shoot up as you glance down at your freshly done manicure. "I just got them done yesterday! You noticed they're different?" you smile and he nods slowly.

"Yeah... they had been red for a while. I like the change," he admits before his eyes widen slightly and he looks at you in a panic. "Sorry, I don't mean to sound creepy-"

"You don't," you chuckle. "It's actually really sweet of you to notice. Thank you," you flash him that jaw-dropping grin and Choso swallows hard with an awkward nod and a wobbly smile.

"Sure."

You look down, tapping your hands against the table to ride yourself of the antsiness bubbling inside you. Choso watches the action softly, musing internally at how cute he finds you to be.

"Okay, so how's your paper coming?"

"Pretty good," the brunette eventually responds as he fishes for the said paper in his bag. "My professor's actually been saying that I've made a lot of progress with my writing," he sets the heavily marked paper onto the table along with his computer, which holds a fresh coy he has been working on.

"Really?" you ask excitedly. Diamond eyes shoot to you swiftly out of the corner of his eye as he hums gently in affirmation. "That's amazing, Cho! You should be so proud of how far you've come."

"I'm not all there yet," he emphasizes as the color swirls over his pale cheeks once more. "Even so, I'm only getting better 'cause of you. You're the one helping me out."

"Well, yeah, I'm giving you direction, but you're making the improvements all on your own," you playfully nudge his shoulder, and he topples loosely to the side. You try your best not to allow the bulk of muscle you feel beneath his sleeve to affect you more than it already is as you retract your hand and straighten yourself. "Seriously, you've been doing a great job."

"It's... the bare minimum honestly," he brushes off your compliments, unable to take them on properly without the gears in his head malfunctioning.

"You're so humble," you shake your head.

"I just don't think there's anything to really brag about, that's all," the brown-haired boy chuckles stiffly and you sigh.

"Well, just know as your tutor, I'm proud of you," you say gently, tugging the stack of papers over to your side with the stretch of your arm past Choso's frame.

The purple-eyed senior perks up slightly, blown pupils turning to focus on you as your previous words drill themselves into his brain. You're proud of him? Of him of all people? Hell, he thinks the praise alone from you is going to make him spontaneously combust though you move on as though you have not said anything special.

The session proceeds as normal. Choso shows you the updates he has made in his paper, and you look over his shoulder at the computer screen as he speaks lowly, explaining what you are reading as your eyes skim. At one point, you ask him if you can scroll through the document yourself, and he allows you. He leans back in his chair as you push yourself forward and press yourself to the edge of the table. In doing so, you push into his personal bubble, leaning over his frame so that the top of your head is just below his chin. The brunette's eyes widen as your sugary scent invades his senses, your perfectly manicured finger swiping over the cursor as you mutter his words under your breath with concentration.

Choso feels himself hold his breath within your closeness, blood flooding throughout his body rather aggressively. You have such a strange effect on his body, rendering him weak by simply hovering a few centimeters away and it kills him. He has to fight the urge to lean down and sniff your hair, to run his palm over your hand as you swipe through his computer familiarly, to press his lips to your temple or the exposed skin of your neck as you crane it downward with your free hand pushing into your cheek to support your head.

You're so pretty, so perfect it hurts. He wants you so badly, but he has no idea how to say it- how to get your attention. Do pretty, preppy girls like you even want his attention? Do you think yourself above him though you have made him feel so comfortable, so equal to your intellectual level over the past month or so? Do you think he's pretty the way he thinks you're pretty? Do you stay up in the middle of the night, staring at the ceiling with thoughts of his face wandering your mind the way yours does his? Do you think about him like that at all, or are you just his tutor?

Choso breathes in sharply, watching as you pull away to sit upright in your seat again. He watches you speak, the way your slightly glossed lips move to echo a muffled phrase, but somehow his ears are ringing. The sight of you is so loud, so powerful that it overpowers the sound as it travels to his ears and sends signals to his brain. His eyes are still as he looks at you, somewhat dumbfounded, until he’s snapping himself out of it when your voice finally comes back into focus more clearly.

“Choso?” you call his name again, and he hears you this time. His shoulders jump slightly and he blinks.

“Huh?”

You furrow your brows with a small laugh. “Did you hear what I said? Are you okay?”

Just then, Choso can feel his body burst into flames when he realizes that he had just sat and stared at you while you spoke for far too long. “S-Sorry. I’m sorry,” he apologizes profusely, thoroughly embarrassed. He shifts in his seat, a habit you notice he takes to often when he’s on the spot. “I spaced out for a second. What did you say?”

You look at him for a moment longer than you should have as he fights desperately to look anywhere but into your eyes. He inhales and exhales slowly, deeply, as if he is trying to regulate himself, and you try your best not to look like you’re enjoying the sight.

With your teeth sinking into your bottom lip and the corners of your lips twirling upward, you prepare to repeat yourself. “I was just saying that your sentence structure has gotten a lot better… I like what you did especially in the third paragraph."

The purple-eyed man's nose flares subtly. "Oh. Okay," he murmurs, voice dipping lower and lower. "I mean- yeah, I was trying to do something different there... where I transition to talking about the human body as a whole."

"I can see that," you nod, tucking your hands into your lap after tilting his computer back toward him. "I think it flows better. Just make sure you watch your grammar in some spaces too. There should be a comma after that one phrase," you nod to the screen and Choso is quick to turn his head to what you are referring to.

You watch from the side as his jaw clenches and unclenches when he finds his error and hastily clicks to fix it. He's so gorgeous, you think to yourself as you admire the structure of his sharp jaw and the veins running down the side of his neck and into the beginnings of those tattoos that seem to tease themselves to you whenever you're with the bio major.

And oh, do baggy clothes look absolutely amazing on Choso's body. While you're sure he'd look even better with clothes that snugly fit his form, you find his laid-back style to suit him astonishingly well. You like the way his hoodie drapes over his shoulders, the sleeves cupping loosely around large, well-sculpted hands. You especially love how his dark eyeliner accentuates the vibrancy of his irises and blends into the complementation of the rest of his clothes. Choso dresses so well, so uniquely, and you are fascinated by it. You're fascinated by him.

"Alright, anything else? Do you want to look at the most recent section?" Choso turns to ask you but pauses when he finds that you are already looking at him. The two of you blink at each other, and you almost think that Choso is shocked to make eye contact with you again so suddenly. "What's wrong? What... what is it?" he asks, unsure of what you are doing, unsure of himself.

You shrug your shoulders tightly to your ears and look down with a gasy smile. "Ah, nothing," you hiss, pursing your lips. "Sorry, you're just a little distracting sometimes."

His face falls as he tilts his head slightly in genuine confusion. Has he offended you somehow? "Me?" he points to himself slowly and you nod with a tight smile and warm cheeks. "Uh- sorry, I don't mean to... distract you," he says carefully, regretfully, genuinely. "I didn't know I was doing anything to be distracting."

"No, no, you're not," you giggle to yourself and swipe a hand over your heated face with a heavy exhale. "Sorry, it's nothing like that. You didn't do anything wrong."

"...Then what did I do?"

"Nothing," you reiterate as you pick at the hem of your shirt. "You're... nice to look at, that's all," you confess timidly.

Choso can feel his heart plunge into his chest and his pupils shrink slightly when he takes in what you said. For a moment, he thinks he imagined it, but by the way you are fiddling with your clothes and keeping your eyes down suddenly allows him to deduct that perhaps he heard you correctly the first time.

"You think I'm nice to look at?" he asks carefully for clarification and your face tightens along with your nod.

"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything," you quickly say. "I just figured you were wondering why I was staring at you. I do that a lot, anyway... sorry, this is really awkward. I probably shouldn't have said that."

"No," Chose rushes, and you look back up to see those beautifully pinked cheeks and big eyes again. "No, please, don't- don't take it back," he requests gently, turning to face you in his chair. "No one's ever said that to me before."

You suddenly shoot your head up, staring at him incredulously. "What? Are you serious?" Choso nods in confirmation and you gape. "But look at you! You're beautiful!"

The boy's lips spread into a thin line as more color blossoms over his face. He feels that familiar dampness drip over his palms as he fidgets, looking to you meekly as though you have just bent down on one knee and proposed.

“Beautiful?” he tests the word on his tongue, brows drawing together.

“Yeah… I can’t believe no one’s ever told you that before. You have really good bone structure, and your eyes are… pretty,” you scrunch your nose. “I-I’m only being honest. I thought… anyone could see that, really.”

Choso shakes his head. “Not really. I think you’re the first.”

“That doesn’t make any sense to me at all.”

“Honestly, it doesn’t make sense to me that you think I’m beautiful,” Choso chuckles slightly.

“Why?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” he shoots out. “And to be considered on the same level as you is… I never would have thought that.”

Your lips part in shock, your hand immediately flying to conceal your lips as another stupid smile makes its way onto your face. Choso, in turn, angles his brows as though he is angry with himself for allowing his feelings to slip so freely. He cringes softly, berating himself, as his fingers slip into the back of his hair to scratch anxiously at his scalp.

“I’m getting ahead of myself, sorry-“

“You apologize too much,” you beam beneath your palm.

Choso looks over at you, normally so laid back but now with a tortured expression. “I know,” he admits. “But so do you.”

You go to retort but find that you can not, for you have to give him credit for how much he has noticed about you. “Let’s- get back to your essay,” you clap your hands suddenly, blinking rapidly as you pull yourself closer to the table to shove your nose into a page that you have already read a hundred times over.

Choso watches you for a second before a smile crosses his lips. He ducks his head down, dimples prodding into his cheeks as he revels in the moment the two of you just shared and the way you are so hastily trying to keep yourself together. It’s cute. You’re so cute.

The time flies by just as quickly as it always does during your tutoring sessions, and before you know it, your session is over and the time you rented out for the study room has ran out.

The two of you routinely attempt to mask your disappointment as you pack your belongings in tension-fueled silence, flashing shy smiles whilst gathering your things side by side.

Choso jumps to hold the door for you as you walk out, to which you thank him with a bright grin. The two of you venture out of the library together, outdoors and onto the steps leading up to the building.

You sigh, brushing a piece of your hair back as the breeze waves over you. “I guess I’ll see you again next week?”

You look up and Choso is staring down at you with a hum, clutching the strap of his satchel bag tightly. “…Guess so.”

“Alright,” you nod stiffly. “I’ll text you.”

“Okay.”

You stand there, looking at each other for a bit longer before you give in and nod again. “Okay. Bye, Cho.”

You move to start heading into the direction of your dorm when the brunette steps forward abruptly. “(Y/n), wait,” he stops you, and you pause.

You swiftly turn back around, eager to stay. “Yeah?”

“I… uh,” he stammers, eyes darting over your face nervously. He leans back and forth on his shoes, unsure of how to proceed yet knowing that there is something more he wants to say. “I really- I appreciate… no, I really like our tutoring sessions together.”

You smile warmly, folding your hands before you. “I like our sessions too. I’ve told you that before. I think you’re a great mentee.”

He gulps. “Yeah. I think you’re a great teacher… but, I mean I like… I like our sessions beyond just working.”

You tilt your head. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he exhales. “I guess… what I’m trying to say is that I like spending time with you.”

You feel your heart in your ears and your cheeks aching from how hard you’re smiling. “I also like spending time with you.”

He perks up. “As more than my tutor?”

You laugh softly with an enthusiastic nod. “As more than your tutor, yes,” you affirm. “I think you’re really cool. And I meant what I said earlier about you being attractive.”

A swift breath of relief escaped Choso as he looks down with a gentle smirk, cheeks pinkening. You think it’s endearing to watch such an intimidating-looking man crumble so easily before you like a toddler picking a flower for his playground crush.

“Cool,” he chuckles, picking at the belt buckle of his bag strap. “You’re pretty too. Like, really pretty. You’re gorgeous.”

“You said that earlier,” you tease, and flames further ignite the poor boy’s face.

“I-I know. I thought I’d just say it again… I don’t know,” he murmurs. “I’m not too good at this kinda stuff.”

“You’re doing a great job, Cho. Keep going,” you encourage, biting into your lip.

The twenty one year old’s eyes flicker to the sight before they snap back up to you. “Okay,” he exhales. “I don’t wanna just see you once a week.”

You nod. “Me neither.”

“…I wanna see you more than that.”

“So do I.”

“Would it… be cool with you if I asked to hang out with you sometime? Maybe tomorrow…? We could go grab some food together… I- I have my car. I’d take you.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Choso’s brows lift as he looks at you, your expression expecting and welcoming to his advances. You’re swaying back and forth as he somewhat does the same, one hand digging harshly into his pocket while the other that grips the strap of his bag tightens. “…Do you want it to be a date?” he asks slowly. “It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it. I mean, we can just go as friends.”

“Choso.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want to be your friend.”

“…Oh,” he stills. “Then…?”

Your head tosses back as you laugh loudly, the skin beneath your glimmering eyes creasing. “I want to be more than that with you. Please ask me out on a date.”

Choso feels a weight lift from his shoulders as he slumps with relief. “Jesus, you scared me.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” you giggle. “Go ahead.”

The brunette shakes his head and rubs a hand over his warm face, biting back his own smile. He looks back up at you to meet your twinkling (e/c) gaze, heartbeat in his throat. “Will you go to lunch with me tomorrow? As more than friends?”

You bounce on the soles of your feet, shoulders raising to your ears again as you lean giddily to the side. “I’d love to.”

A grin breaks onto Choso’s face as he takes you in. “Okay. Good, I’m glad. I can pick you up at 12?”

“That’s perfect. I’ll text you what dorm I’m in tonight.”

“Okay,” he nods happily.

“Okay,” you grin.

“…So I’ll see you later? Or, sorry, tomorrow?”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

“Okay,” he repeats, and you laugh again.

“Okay.”

“Sorry,” he scrunched his face. “You make me nervous. I’m sorry if I’m- sorry.”

You roll your eyes, stepping into him. He watches your movements carefully, slightly confused, before he feels your palm press to the side of his face. His eyes go wide when you tilt up and lean in, pressing your soft lips to his cheek in a quick, sweet peck. His body freezes, his blood pumping through his heart vigorously as you lean away and lower your hand with a cheeky smile.

“Stop apologizing,” you advise and he nods instantly.

“Okay,” he obliges, dazed.

With another soft giggle, you turn on your heel to part ways. “Good job today, Cho. I'm excited for our date tomorrow.”

“T-Thanks,” he mutters. “Me too.”

You flash him one more smile before turning and walking off. Choso’s eyes glue to your fading figure, his fingers grazing the space in which your lips touched his skin with awe.

He does not miss the way you turn over your shoulder as you walk away to give him one last wave, and he returns it eagerly, his heart fluttering and head disappearing into the clouds, rendering himself a dumb mess by the likes of you.

[vigilskeep]

now that you finished inquisition, what did you think of it? like favorite things, least favorite, etc?

oh man okay

things i love about dragon age inquisition:

capturing the specific feeling of bonding with a group of people you have absolutely nothing in common with because u all had to go through something long and specific together

the maps can be so pretty and in places really calming and lovely to spend time in. it does make me want to explore and i have no explorer’s instinct

i love the war table and judgements i think those are really fun features

i like that approval for many major decisions applies to everyone regardless of who you bring to specific events/quests. it feels a lot less like you have to manage that really hard, as you sometimes do in the other games and also really noticeably to me in something like baldur’s gate 3. it’s irritating when i have to plan ahead and can’t take who i want to hear from

i like how attached you can get to little npcs who wander around

i loveeeee fighting dragons and how beautiful they all are

little puzzles <3

the collectibles are also mostly fine by me i am a magpie by nature. as long as i can find them, obviously, bc if i can’t they suck and this whole game sucks

the templar specialisation is fun and i enjoyed that part of combat a lot. wrath of heaven/spell purge combo is a power trip

i thought my character was pretty :) i defeated u in the end dai character creator. may you be as merciful when we meet in battle once more

i’m not a huge crafter but being able to tint things is rlly nice

blackwall’s romance is good

vivienne is there

they let me briefly tame a dragon at the end there

things i don’t love about dragon age inquisition:

some genuine cruelty in writing the dalish in a way that feels shockingly callous to the real world cultures the writers took inspiration from

never giving the dalish or the rebel mages any kind of voice of their own and making the player do all that work if they care, which i also feel limits my roleplaying creativity

refusing to let you challenge any of the often overwhelmingly conservative views expressed by other characters without receiving only derision and disapproval. inquisition is a game that punishes you at every turn for having your own opinions, in a way that could be interesting if it was willing to truly let you develop complex or antagonistic relationships with those characters, but ends up mostly just feeling mocking when nobody ever even tries to see your side, while simply agreeing with these people always rewards you with content. origins was capable of letting you engage in discussion, and da2 let you form rivalries that mattered; inquisition, despite starring some of the most intentionally controversial characters, does neither

the game engineering conflicts against groups like the freemen of the dales or the avvar that mean nothing to the player and range from vaguely to seriously upsetting in their assumptions about who it’s normal to just start killing en masse. it’s both boring and distressing

odd, for lack of a better word “casting choices”, like having the fantasy impoverished racial minority all be white within the party while the wealthiest and most privileged are characters of colour, or for a more in-world example having the elves express the most distaste towards elves and the mages express the most caution about mages. i don’t know that i quite have the vocabulary to fully discuss why these weird me out, but it all feels... disingenuous? and chosen to forestall criticism based on real world comparisons in a game series that i wish had the nerve to openly confront what it’s talking about if it’s going to try to make any of its conflicts feel relevant

most of the companions, and indeed most of the quests and time spent playing the game, feel disconnected from the main plot. it’s hard to feel any pressure when the game tells you we need to deal with the main plot “right now!” and “get there before corypheus!” when the bulk of the game is doing other things while you’re supposed to be doing that. the majority of companions could be cut without changing anything. and when you finally want to deal with the main plot you just click to start it. it’s not engaging

the game fails to fully expand dialogue for the player character options it provided, particularly notable with its confusing chantry focus when you’ve said for the dozenth time you’re not andrastian

the 2-handed weapon whirlwind ability sound effect is an exercise in creating the worst and most grating sound effect for someone to constantly hear

they didn’t let me romance vivienne

they killed my dragon :(

[jaspvids]

The Diagnosis Of David

Disclaimer: I am by no means a mental health professional. This is just a meta-analysis.

What do we think of when we think of David?

His values of kindness. Optimism. Hope. Conviction. Passion. His drive to do his best every single day. The way he always makes an effort to reach out to others.

But also:

Attachment issues. People pleaser. Rose-colored glasses wearer. And at times, though the fandom doesn’t want to acknowledge it — Selfish. Unstable. Rude. Hypocritical. Kind of a dick.

See this video I made;

He’s complex, so let’s try to unpack him, and figure out what he’s got going on under that floof.

On David’s Childhood

David has been through a number of traumatic events in his childhood, most notably:

Witnessing Jasper fall to his near-death.

Finding Jasper, and being almost mauled by bears during the escape.

Clown school was apparently very bad, given the flashback-like reaction he had when it was mentioned. I’m unsure of his age when this occurred, however.

The fight with Jasper at the cave before they parted ways.

Losing Jasper. He says Cameron told him he was picked up by his parents, but I’m not convinced it’s not just his mind trying to erase painful memories.

As far as what we don’t necessarily see in the show, but can infer, David’s father was either not present or not great. He dreamt Cameron was his real father, as seen below.

And we all know Cameron is an awful father figure to begin with.

Yet, that’s better to David, apparently, than whatever he had at home. Which implies it was likely a pretty bad situation.

This can also be backed up by his attachment to the camp — growing up (and even now) it seems to be more of a home to him than his actual home.

That’s a home that hasn’t ever been mentioned, by the way. Contrary to Gwen, we know absolutely nothing about his family. He hasn’t talked about them once, if I recall correctly.

David is often open with emotions, if not wearing his heart on his sleeve. So why would he never mention his family and home?

We know why.

Even as an adult, he has retained this attachment to Cameron (who has in turn, continued to use this attachment to his benefit). He gets very excited about helping Cameron change in “keep the change” — because he needs to believe people who hurt him can get better. Otherwise, it’s too painful to bear.

The Loss Of Jasper

Part of his childhood, but significant enough to warrant its own section.

Jasper and David had a very interesting relationship. We’ve seen in the past that David was pessimistic, foulmouthed, and hot-tempered, directly compared to an optimistic, peppy, popular Jasper.

But then Jasper saw Cameron’s real self, and David received a modicum of praise for what was likely the first time based on his reaction. And so, they basically did somewhat of a switcheroo.

(David takes on many traits of Jasper after this experience, showing that he does admire him at the end of the day. I believe these traits are the foundation of David’s many masks.)

Despite the whole shebang, further episodes show us that they form a strong bond (or maintain one, we don’t know what happened before the first Jasper and David episode.)

What makes this friendship especially crucial in David’s development is that I believe Jasper was the first person to truly stand up for David.

David is, as we have seen, easily manipulated. Jasper picks up on this, and knowing Cameron’s just trying to use his best friend, tries to take Cameron down.

Jasper essentially died trying to protect David.

If Jasper hadn’t died, I don’t think David would have ended up as gullible and dependent as he is. If he had the more rational and realistic Jasper by his side during the rest of his developmental years, I believe things would have ended up much, much differently.

With Jasper’s death, there seems to be nobody else at camp who knows of Cameron’s crimes, or possibly, doesn’t want to speak out about them. Nobody to stand up for him. Nobody to redirect him.

So there’s nobody to stop the unhealthy-attachment-train from picking up speed.

Cameron And David’s Relationship

Cameron is manipulative and abusive towards David. This even becomes physical:

Despite this, David continues to idolize him as is seen in many cases of abuse. He works his ass off maintaining Cameron’s camp. Cameron’s approval makes or breaks him, because this is the man he sees as a father, unfortunately.

In addition, David is unable to let go of the hope that Cameron can change, because he’s convinced himself that deep down Cameron is still “good”, based on his skewed perception of him. And we all know how that ended.

But as Diane from Bojack Horseman once said —

And that is David’s problem — he wants so much for there to be a “deep down”, that there will be a day where Cameron showers him with praise and throws signed adoption forms at him, etcetera.

He judges Cameron not on who he actually is, but who he wants him to be. And so, the unhealthy attachment remains.

(Which is, of course, incredibly destructive to his mental health.)

Other Things We Know About His Mental Health, From Canon

We know he takes meds.

We know he has (sometimes dissociative) panic attacks.

We know he has been seen to suddenly snap, even to the point of violence.

My Final Conclusion: C-PTSD

(As the trauma has been not just one event, but many over the course of his life, and among other reasons, I believe CPTSD fits better than PTSD.)

David meets much of the criteria, most notably:

Lack of emotional regulation

Dissociation

Flashbacks

Anxiety

Guilt and shame

Distorted perception of abuser

Relationship difficulties

Okay this was long I’m tired good night.

[snookienthusi4st]

light yagami x fem! reader hcs

warnings: smut, bondage, degradation, angst if you squint, reader has a death note, au where he doesn’t die even though he totally deserved it/j

note: i apologize in advance when i tell you that i do not care for this man in the slightest but i’m doing my best for you guys 🙏 i might’ve self entered a bit in this bc i was so mad when he started yelling at misa so feel free to alter it based on your personality

nsfw under the cut

• you two met when he found out there was a second kira(you’re basically misa plot wise)

• you agree with his morals and his plans to rid the world of evil, so you admire from afar

• instead of going over to his place you send tapes and letters to him like misa did, letting him know where you are so he can see you if he wishes

• you’re smart, pretty, and the moment he finally meets you, he’s aware of how perfect things played out

• you’re the perfect cover girlfriend, and task force won’t suspect a thing when they realize you two are an item, so he might as well string you along, right?

• so he makes you aware of everything he’s trying to do and you both agree to a fake relationship to keep the task force at bay

• it works! but to his surprise, he ends up getting attached

• he actually ends up finding you nice to be around, which he’s definitely not used to

• you’d come over sometimes back when he’s living with his parents and hang out with sayu, she loves you like the older sister she didn’t have bc she got stuck w a clinically insane older brother instead

• you bring apples for ryuk and give him hugs kinda like misa does, he thinks you’re cool

• as the case progresses, he realizes how much he actually likes you as a person and it kinda scares him

• so like anybody does, he ends up asking you out around the time where he starts living by himself

“do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“i already am your girlfriend, genius.”

“no, i mean-“

• you accept happily, having developed feelings for him as well over the course of your time together

• when he’s not busy getting the task force off his tail, he’s an exceptionally sweet boyfriend

• his dream is to live in a world of justice where he knows you’re safe wherever you end up going <3

• he’s like the embodiment of vanilla ice cream when it comes to romantic gestures

• just the normal stuff like flowers, forehead kisses, cuddling at night etc etc

• sometimes he snaps a bit when things aren’t going to plan but unlike misa, you’re actually assertive and don’t take shit from this man so he learns to keep himself regulated

• it’s kinda cute seeing him all submissive and apologetic once he realizes what he said

“just shut up and do what i told you, alright?”

“excuse me?”

“i-i mean..”

“rephrase that sentence.”

“sorry, sorry. can you..”

• you kinda have to learn how to be the man of the house smtimes to avoid his habit of needing a power dynamic to boss you around

• he genuinely doesn’t mean to lash out, it’s just how he’s always gotten things done and he’s never been accustomed to much else

• but you’ve helped him grow into someone that asks ppl to do what he tells them a bit more politely :3

• whenever you’re worried about him overworking himself, he’ll probably dismiss it

• but if you’re like really worried he’ll let you sit with him while he’s at work

• like it’s late and he’s writing down names and he feels your head lean against his shoulder

• and then he ruffles your hair with his free hand and shifts a bit in his seat to make you more comfortable

• sex

• i just know bro is incredibly misogynistic in bed

• like he doesn’t mean it but the way he talks has him sounding like a white man before the equal rights movement

“god, you’re such a slut..”

• but if you’re like me and you’re not rlly into that, don’t worry! bc if you communicate that to him he’ll be super sweet

• but a few degrading terms might still slip out every now and then

• would definitely be into CONSENSUAL bondage

• like watching your hands shake against the ties on them as he goes so teasingly slow

• you might have to peg him and lower his ego a bit tho

• he hates how much he enjoys handjobs

• or blowjobs

• literally anything oral is his weak spot

• achilles heel achilles dick, you feel me?

• like he’d love having to stay quiet while you suck him off under his desk as he writes down names or does his homework

• sometimes he has rough days and gets touchier like an unsaid ask for you to give him head

• like you’re js chilling and then you get a hug frm behind, and you’re confused for a sec until it hits you that he’s wanting you

• would play video games with you if you’re into that stuff

• he’d act uninterested but it takes him back to easier times like playing w sayu when he was younger

[critterbitter]

Do you think you'll draw the nimbasa trio catching their first Pokemon that's not their starter on their journey?

Definitely! It’s just a matter of getting there, haha. I am but one vaguely man shaped blob with a hyperfixation. Mortal needs like sleep and hand pains stop me from vomiting every brain idea I have.

I actually got this question multiple times, so to answer! I am not going to be drawing the nimbasa trio getting another pokemon until their late teens unless a brainworm strikes. (So no new pokemon during the current snapshot series haha.)

Why?

From a canon perspective, well:

Most npc trainers you meet on route have 2-4 pokemon, so I’m gonna try to keep within that amount until the trio settles in Nimbasa and have the revenue/space to upkeep a full pokemon team.

From a meta perspective, wellllll:

Another caught pokemon means character development, and I, ah... right now, I just wanna draw a candle, a zebra, and an eel. I love painting. But fitting seven or more characters on a canvas is, er… Make me draw more guys and I’ll melt like a vanniluxe on a summer day.

If people are curious for some pokemon headcannons though (note that this is not canon— pokemon gave me a puddle of information, so I’m taking the shovel to dig an ocean.)

- ingo saw a colony of dwebble collecting rocks while in the desert, and he’s been enamored ever since. He’s been trying to convince a dwebble to join his team for a while. Unfortunately, Ingo’s very excited and dwebble are naturally shy. (It doesn’t help that litwick can get mean when jealous.)

- emmet loves double battles and teams up with a lot of wild pokemon— but he doesn’t click with anybody until much further in the future. Me thinks his expectations are a tad too high from having such a good start with tynamo. He’s worked with multiple growlithes and thinks Helping Hand is the coolest shit ever.

- emmet’s first “caught” pokemon would be archen. More like “lab grown” and “lovingly hatched”, but it’s the thought that counts. Thinking once again about squab archen…

- elesa found her two emolga in the trash. She was going to release them after fostering, but got attached.

For future plans:

(The pokemon the twins live with and are officially part of the team (named at what stage the twins meet them! Note that everybody becomes fully evolved at somepoint.)

Ingo— litwick, dwebble, drillbur, and axew.

Emmet— tynamo, archen(lint roller), joltik, and durant.

They also have pokemon coworkers that don’t live with them, but agree to help in battles for exp and wages— kliklank twins, garbadore, shelmet and karablast, boldore (atlas), and gurdur)

And for our favorite electric gym leader:

Elesa— blitzle, the emolga twins (em and molga), stunfisk, mareep

(She has pokemon coworkers Eelektross (eela), zebrastrika (motorbreak), and Galvulanta (Lanta) who have a similar set up to the twins— the pokemon agree to work with Elesa for exp and wages, but otherwise have their own lives.)

(Fun headcanon: pokemon who are raised by humans tend to keep human nicknames. It’s not always the case, but it’s a common enough trend for research studies.)

[seresinhangmanjake]

I've Promised You Forever

Dad!Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female reader

Summary: Jake and his Honey are married!

Notes/Warnings: None, really.

Words: 2454

Oh, Baby Series

---

“You’re less nervous than I expected,” Rooster said, his eyes meeting Jake’s in the mirror as they adjusted their bowties in sync. 

They’d been up for hours, the whole house alive and bustling as people put things in place. Phoenix, his mother, and Gram stayed by your side, but the rest of his team set about accomplishing their own tasks. Coyote was on decorations. Payback on flowers. Fanboy on the cake—probably not the best of ideas if they wanted it arriving without a bite taken out of the side. Bob had Eve. And Rooster, with the exception of occasionally checking on the others, had remained with Jake. 

“Am I?” Jake asked, but in truth his friend was right. He wasn’t nervous. From all that led up to this day, he found no reason to be.

“For this being the day you marry the love of your life? Yes, I would say you’re surprisingly calm.” Done with his tie, Rooster turned to eye the side of his friend’s face. “I mean, I know this is literally happening in your own backyard, but it’s still a big deal.”

Jake finished messing with the bow and his hand landed on Rooster’s shoulder, giving it a few pats. “Of course it’s a big deal. I’m not denying that.”

“Ok, then why—”

“How is she doing?”

Rooster paused at the sudden shift, but adaptable as he was, he adjusted quickly to the randomly tossed question. He thought over his answer, then his brow lightly pinched, his head tilted to the side, and he said, “Actually…no more nervous than you.” He shook the confusion off his face. “I don’t get it. I’d be freaking out right now, but I guess I’ll chalk it up to you two already facing such a hefty amount of trials and tribulations together that you’re numb to nerves.”

Jake chuckled. That hefty amount was no joke. Nothing about you and Jake managed to edge along the conventional route. Not how you became a family. Not how you developed as a couple. Not how you chose to marry. Your relationship was forced through more than most, and at the end of the day, it was being one another’s rock in a sea of utter chaos that made it all survivable. 

More challenges would find their way to his family, Jake knew. No one was immune. But come hell or high water, you and Jake proved to be unbreakable, and that wasn’t going to change. 

“She looks incredible, though,” Rooster continued. “You’re going to lose your mind.”

—

“How do you feel? Are you nervous? Can you believe you’re finally going to be married?” All questions shot from Jake's mother as she straightened out the veil attached to your loose bun. “It feels so different being a wife. But I know you’re the best possible woman for my son.”

You turned your head to meet her eyes and you smiled. “Thank you, Eliza.”

She rounded you and took your hand in hers, lightly squeezing. “I know you and Jake have had a rather unique journey, but if anything, I believe that proves how much you are meant to be together.”

You grinned and nodded in agreement. Unique was right. In every way. From the moment you met, you knew your path together would not be straight. It would have its twists and its turns, as it eventually did. But that jagged road the two of you had wobbled along trained you and Jake to accept being different. And in being different, you were more than happy to throw out rules and expectations, instead choosing to do exactly as you wanted whenever you wanted to do it. 

That habit was demonstrated perfectly the night prior when Jake snuck back home despite his mother’s and friends’ insistence on not seeing his bride before the wedding. He’d waited until his team fell asleep at Rooster's, then drove back to his house, kissed his daughter’s forehead, and snuggled up to you in bed, not caring about the scolding once his absence would be discovered come morning; a scolding that came in the form of his Gram's small hand smacking into his shoulder. 

A sudden knock at the door was followed by the peeking of Nat’s head into the room. “You ready?” she asked. “Rooster is about to go down the aisle with Eve.” 

You grinned at the thought of the job you’d assigned your friend, which he’d accepted with an unexpected excitement. And thankfully you’d enlisted Payback as photographer so you’d get to see for yourself the six-foot tall wall of a man holding an infant and a basket of flower petals in his arms as he made his way towards Jake. 

And then it would be your turn.

"Ready," you confirmed. 

—

Under any other circumstances, Jake would’ve chuckled. He would’ve taken the opportunity to tease his friend the way his friends so often teased him. But as he watched Rooster carry his baby girl down the aisle, doing his best to hold her close and help her drop light pink petals along the pathway, Jake couldn’t help but smile. 

Eve was content in his arms. She was peaceful, as if she knew it was a joyful day over anything else. She hadn’t cried without Mama and Daddy, Bob informed him. She didn’t fuss when made to put on her white tulle dress or slide the headband into her wispy hair. So when she reached the end of the aisle, in appreciation Jake bent down to place a kiss on her forehead before Rooster took his position to the left of his shoulder. 

“Deep breath,” Rooster muttered as everyone in their seats stood and turned. 

His mother’s arm was linked with yours while she guided you past your friends toward him. The smile you displayed was ear to ear. Bright. Vibrant. But his mother’s took up nearly half of her face; wide with lips pulled back so far the corners caught her tears before they could reach her chin. 

She’d thanked him a million times the week before. Despite becoming so prominent in Jake’s life, she had the lingering sense that at any moment, he would cut her out again. She felt it an honor to be at her son’s wedding, to walk the woman he loved down the aisle and hand her over so he could call his little family complete. Though, rings on fingers and vows from lips were not a symbol of completion, not for him. He’d been complete from the moment you came back into his life with his baby girl strapped to your chest. 

Jake’s eyes remained locked on you as you neared. Each of your steps came with a matching thump of his heart. He’d never tire of seeing you come to him; the anticipation of having you close and holding you in his arms, even when simply being greeted after a long day at work. Still, this was a bit more—an acknowledgment in front of everyone he loved that he could officially call you ‘wife’ whenever and wherever he wanted—and he pressed his heels into the ground to keep from bouncing on his toes. 

Once you were close enough that he could catch your flowered perfume, Jake took your hand from his mother and raised it to his lips to brush a soft kiss over the back. “Hi, Honey," he whispered, intertwining your fingers. You gave your bouquet over to Phoenix then took his other hand, mirroring the weaving of fingers. 

A subtle pink tinted your cheeks. “Hi."

“Alright,” Gram clasped her palms together. “You kids ready to be married?" 

Your teasing smile sent a zing down Jake’s spine and he returned it with a wink. 

"I'll take that as a yes," she said, then called to the small crowd, "You can all be seated and we'll get this show on the road."

His ears felt full of fuzz as his grandmother began to speak her practiced lines; the ones she’d run over with him a hundred times to make sure they suited his wishes, despite him telling her just as many times that whatever she would say would be perfect. Jake knew he’d be solely focused on you anyway, taking away from his ability to fully absorb her words. 

Her voice was a consistent humming in his ear, and not until she lightly nudged him in the arm did he snap out of the glowy haze you’d surrounded him in to realize it was his cue. 

“Right,” he said, clearing his throat. When you giggled his lips curved upwards. “Honey…” he started but then paused to stare again, just for another moment. At how amazing you were. At how beautiful, wrapped in a dress that hugged every dip and swell of your figure, with the soft style of your hair, and the red shade painting your lips. He was already imagining the marks of your kiss all over his body. 

Then sensing the flush of his skin and the sting of oncoming tears, he swallowed to try to hold himself together. His fingers squeezed yours tighter. 

“Honey, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever,” he began. “I love you. I love everything you are. Everything we are. I love the work and the struggles and the progress we’ve made to have what we have. I love our baby girl.” A tear slipped down your cheek that Jake reached up to brush away with his thumb before taking your hand again. “The two of you are my gift. My world and my heart. You own a piece of me that I never want you to give back,” he continued. “And I wake each morning thankful that you were so strong when having our Eve. I thank you for being so brave when you chose to come back into my life," he said. "You’re everything and all of it, Honey.”

Your thumb stroked over his, then you pulled his hand closer to press a kiss to the digit. “Jake,” you sniffled. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever.” He snickered at the familiar line before allowing a smile that matched yours to take over his face. “We were never a mistake. We weren’t a matter of convenience or simplicity. We weren’t a shot in the dark,” you said. “I believe that someway, somehow, this is where we would have inevitably found ourselves. Standing here, with our baby beside us, husband and wife. This is how it was always meant to be. And I know that in my soul.

"I love you," was a clear statement from your lips. "You are mine, Jake Seresin. You’re everything and all of it.”

Your radiating love filled him fully and he settled comfortably into the warmth that spread through his veins. Then he heard another sniffle, just to his right.

“Goodness,” Gram breathed as she wiped at a fallen tear. “You two…” She shook her head; took another breath. “Rings?”

Bob reached around Rooster to hand your ring to Jake as Phoenix slipped his into your palm. The exchange of bands rebloomed the flutters in his stomach. Then before Gram could get out her next instruction, Jake framed your face with his hands and joined your lips in a long kiss. 

“I love you, Honey,” he muttered between one soft kiss and the next. “Always.”

—

The evening had passed in the blink of an eye, but you didn’t miss a single detail of how the day unfolded. Each bit of it utterly perfect. Each moment more precious than the last. You couldn’t say you woke that morning with any expectations other than to enjoy your friends and family, but now that it was nearing its close, you realized everything far surpassed what you could’ve ever hoped for. A wedding had the potential to bring some chaos, as did most things during your and Jake’s relationship, but it was nothing other than smooth and easy. Everyone you cared for was by your side. Your daughter was happy in the company of those who loved her most. And you and Jake were together. All as should be.

Under the low glow of the fairy lights woven through the trees, you and Jake swayed to the gentle music. With your head resting on his shoulder, your arms around one another, you watched your friends and family enjoying themselves. Laughing, joking, teasing each other. They took turns dancing with your daughter in their arms, dancing with each other, or their dates. Rooster’s in particular–your friend and coworker—had her eyes glued to him and a blush across her cheeks as he rocked Eve back and forth while slowly moving about the installed dance floor. 

"You still feel alright with not telling them?" Jake’s voice was suddenly low in your ear, far from able to be heard by your guests with you being off to the edge of the wooden flooring. 

"That we've been married for months?” you asked. “Yes, I imagine it's still best we keep that to ourselves."

“I agree,” Jake said with a chuckle. "Think of the drama we'd face from our devastating betrayal."

"I know. I can't believe how selfish we are." 

He hummed. “You know, if you really think about it, by not telling them we are actually sparing them the pain and trauma.”

"That’s very true."

Jake chuckled again, a vibration from his chest to yours, and hugged you closer. A moment later you lifted your head to meet his eyes and smiled at your husband. The man who had been your husband for one hundred and twenty-six days, officially tied exactly three days after he slid that engagement ring onto your finger. You’d planned on waiting, but not seventy-two hours later, as you laid beside one another in bed, skin still damp with sweat and chests rising and falling in heavy breaths, Jake suddenly flipped on his side, cupped your cheek, and said: ‘What if we do it tomorrow?’. The rapid expelling of the question made you realize he had been thinking about it as much as you had. You’d instantly agreed, smiled, kissed, and spent the rest of the night wrapped around one another. The next morning you were married, and maintained the agreement that no one else needed to know. The two of you would know. And that was enough. 

"No,” you reaffirmed, brushing a stray lock of his blond hair back into place. “I think I like having our little secret."

Jake paused the movement of your bodies and, with a grin, said, "So do I, Honey." Then he placed his hands on your cheeks, just as he had earlier in the day, and once again drew you in for a kiss.

---

A/N: I hope it was ok :)

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @cinderellasmissingshoe @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @novagreen04 @multifandomlover4life @mayhemmanaged @memeorydotcom @ryiamarie

[p3ndeja6]

-; ✧˖*°࿐

Summary: you and colby brock have been friends with benefits for a while, You eventually developed feelings and so did he. But you didn’t know, he would always give you the cold shoulder after sex. you were fed up.

Content tags: jealousy, arguments/yelling, alcohol usage, angst 100%, light smut, MAJOR plot, possibly a happy ending probably not (there is)

Colby b. x reader

(this was in the drafts for like 5 months, my bad if it’s ass)

-; ✧˖*°࿐

———————————————————————————

“fuck.. colby, right there” you whined at the roughness Colby was hitting you with. both you and Colby were almost to your climax, hitting your g-spot constantly and you being fucked dumb.

“you feel so good y/n, no one like you”

these words coming from him felt so good and loved but you knew that the minute he came in you, that would all go away. You wanted to savor the moments where he would say all these sweet nothings in your ear.

“fuck colby….almost ….there.. faster… faster” you tried completely full sentences but you’d become weaker by every thrust and became dumb fucked every time his long, thick, dick would push through your fleshy, pudgy walls.

These words kept him going, probably for another hour if you could handle it. You both were so close, and you got closer together.

“colby!.. I can’t hold it.. I.. need to.. come” “fuck, come for me pretty girl, gimme everything .. you got”

you came after hearing these words, and not a minute less so did he. You could hear your heartbeat going 10 beats per second, your cheeks and ears were hot, forehead covered in beads of sweat, your stomach was all wet from your sweat and his cum that flowed up to your stomach. Colby on the other, was also satisfied, still heavy breathing, eyes closed, so mesmerized the way his dick had a full effect on you and how he had you wrapped around his dick. He felt guilty by what he was about to do. He wanted you to be with him but he just couldn’t bring himself to show this other affectionate side of him, (besides the one side where you are having sex)

“alright.. y/n , you can leave now”

you knew those words were coming but they hurt every time you heard them. You wanted to say something to him that enough is enough. That you were done being his fuck buddy.

“Fine.. colby, I’ll go” as you got up and started putting on your clothes, you turned to him, “but this is the last time you and me are doing this, I’m done with these late night booty calls”

you finally confessed

“w-what?” he said confused on why this sudden change

“yeah, I’m done colby, we’ve been doing this for far too long.. it was bound to happen that one of us was going to catch feelings first.. I had to be the first one,, I want to be more than friends with benefits” you exclaimed

“oh my god y/n , we’ve been over that we just fuck for fun, no strings attached. Why can’t you get that wrapped around your fucking head? I want nothing more..” he didn’t mean any of that. He actually did want to be something more, a label, a reason to call you “mine” “girlfriend” “lover” ,, he just didn’t want to .. at that moment”

you were fighting tears and did not want him to see you in this state, you hated being weak. You couldn’t help but spill a few, “fuck you colby, fuck you… everything about yourself, I never should’ve done this in the first place, you were a waste of my fucking time, I never want to see you again” you said wiping the few tears that fell with your middle finger, collecting the last of your things

you slammed the door as you walked your way out

“ yeah! Fucking go! You know your way out!” He yelled

he was so crushed and hated himself for the way this escalated, he cried the entire night.

-; ✧˖*°࿐

days, weeks, have gone by since you and Colby’s argument. you’ve been crying in your room for weeks, that kat had to make a home visit because you wouldn’t answer texts, calls, or tiktok dms.

kat had a copy of your house key, when she finally found it.

“y/n?… it’s me kat!, I’m here to check in you”

she walked around the house noticing very poor hygiene in the kitchen, dirty dishes being piled up, the living, food wrapped and tissues all over, the bathroom all disorganized and dusty. She knew you were badly hurt since you loved staying clean and loved keeping a tidy,clean, refreshing home. Before she found you she helped you by cleaning the kitchen and the living room.

she finally reached your room, knocked on it a couple of times then walking in.

she saw you under the sheets tissues, food wrappers and dirty dishes all scattered around. The smell of alcohol lightly lingering the room.

“Jesus y/n, how are you living in these conditions?” She walks around trying to get to you. “Cmon y/n, talk to me, what happened?”

you obviously have been awake but have been laying in silence.

it took you a while to speak up again, your voice raspy and groggy from all the crying, screaming and the no verbal communication you lacked for weeks

“what didn’t happen, kat. I cut it quits with Colby in hopes he’d finally let me know that he wanted me more than just a fuck. But then again.. he proved me wrong” you said while sitting up

your hair all tangled and greasy, you rubbed your eyes and your face from frustration

“we had a argument and he basically told me I’m delusional and that he’ll never be with me, I was just a fun fuck for him.. nothing more”

“what the fuck? That’s such a douchebag move!, you know what fuck him, there are other guys out there who will love you and will enjoy fucking you with love instead of lust!”

you laugh at her efforts of trying to cheer you up, her positive energy brought some joy and comfort that encouraged you to get out of bed.

“Thanks kat, your definitely cheered me up, I should probably clean my house” “oh! Don’t worry, I cleaned it up for you,just not your bathroom”

“Awh kat you didn’t have to! Thank you so much”

you started to clean your room with the help of kat, you blasted some of your favorite hype music, city girls being on there

as you finished your room and bathroom, kat spoke up

“omg ! Y/n I just remembered one of the guys is having a party ! We’re all going !! Let’s go!!”

you felt good to deny her offer, “sure ! Why not”

“oh. em. gee !!”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

you and kat had finished up the house, and she left to get ready, you got in the shower right after she left. You took a very long hot shower, scrubbed and shaved all over leaving you smooth and clean.

picking the most sluttiest, breathtaking outfit, that insinuated your natural curves and plump features. You chose this specific outfit because you knew that’s the outfit that had Colby on his knees eating you out for the first time. And this would make him regret not having you.

you did your make up, creating a gothic sort of look, a baddie, too high for males to reach.

so satisfied with your look, you finished in time where the party just started

8:47 pm

you arrive to the party, cars filled the drive way and both sides of the street, music loud to be heard outside the house, people hanging outside the house.

You walked in, in hopes to find kat and the rest of your friends.

“omg hey y/n!!” “hey kat!” You guys hug and exchange sweet words on how beautiful you guys look. kat then drags you to the kitchen for a drink. You look around to see any familiar faces, you see many unknown… until you meet with that familiar face you once would give anything for

“hey Katrina” Colby semi-shouted

kat gave you a ‘omg’ look and you tried you’re best to not give up your feelings and let him see you upset. You quickly grabbed a drink from the cooler, a Jamaican me happy seagrass

“oh hey colbs, what’s up” “I was just gonna ask where Sam was” he said while staring at you, up and down.

You knew this dress still had an effect on him, the way he stared at your boobs and while remembering each hickey that was placed there.

It’d be a lie if he said he didn’t miss you (them),

“Oh yeah! he’s over there by the patio” still staring “uh.. thanks”

“he was so staring”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

you were just sipping on all the wine coolers, until you changed up to drinks mixed with hard liquor, the mixture finally got you and the music was too good to not dance to it. You were still conscious and knew what you were doing.

you went to the dance section and started dancing, moving and swaying your hips to the music. doing the white girl dance (where you move your hips and mess up your hair)

you were having a great time until someone pulled you aside. You weren’t quite sure who it was until they dragged you to a bathroom that looked like no one has used yet. It was Colby

“What the hell colby? why did you just drag me to bathroom” “because I’m wanted to talk to you” “couldn’t you have just asked… you know something like 'hey y/n can I talk to you for a sec?'”

“hey y/n can I talk to you for a sec?”

you give him a glare, “okay what”

“I can’t stand at how insanely attractive you look out there dancing”

“thanks… is that all? .. so I can go”

he looked hesitant, scared; if he should just get over with it.

what if it comes out wrong? or if you finally got over him?

He was scared because you truly were the best thing that happened to him and he was an idiot to let that go. He realized he needs you in his life, you are the one true person to get him to get out of bed everyday.

“uh Colby?” You waved a hand over his face to get him back to reality

“Look y/n I don’t know how to use words correctly, clearly… but what I’m trying to say to you is true and it’s coming from the depths of my heart”

you were still puzzled on what he is trying to refer to but you hoped it would involve him finally confessing his feelings to you

“colbs it’s okay”

that nickname.. that nickname always put him in a trance when you say it.

Colby took a deep breath and proceeded to look at you with his icy blue eyes

“y/n I should’ve never let you walk out that night… I wanted to chase after you but I was too much of a coward to go. Y/n you mean everythi- no you are everything to me”

he paused

you were shocked by his words.. trying to come up with something to say quickly before the moment left

“and I- I love you… more then you know. please y/n..”

he grabbed your hands and made you look at him. You were still trying to find words because you felt the same way, you were happy he finally was able to tell you the words you wanted to hear for so long…

“Colby…”

he waited with pleading eyes, finally being able to touch you after what felt like an eternity, but something in your eyes said something else.

“please y/n”

why can’t you say yes? What is holding you from saying yes?! You thought it would be easier now that it was out in the open, but it’s not and it’s hurting you because now you can’t find the words.

“i don’t know what to say”

“say yes…”

your lip trembled, eyes felt watery from the salted tears that were dreading to come out

“but I’m scared… I’m scared to try”

“me too but together we can figure it out, we will work it out because I believe in us. Please y/n I’m begging… let’s try it together”

his words were just the right words to feel at ease, you were scared but if being scared with Colby meant that you would finally be with him. So be it

“okay… let’s try… together”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

[matty-bear]

“But I’m Not Yours.” [M.S] 

Type: fic! 

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

warnings: sfw, angst 

summary: You realize you have developed very strong feelings for Matt but you never expect the pain and heartbreak that would come with it. 

notes: based on what i’m going through right now with a crush/friend I’ve had since September 🔥 I made a playlist to try to cope with my feelings for him earlier and it’s nearly 10 hours long 😭 I need serious help guys… Anyways, hope you enjoy reading this! :D

WC: 3725

.・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I’m somebody you call when you’re alone 

I’m somebody you use, but never own 

You and Matt have been attached to the hip ever since y’all met in high school. You were very lucky to become friends with the boy considering how he skipped the majority of school due to his anxiety. When he did come, you tried your best to keep him grounded when his anxiety got too overwhelming for him and prevented him from partaking in anything. 

At the beginning of y’all’s friendship, you were both very affectionate with each other and it wasn’t unusual for someone to see the two of you hugging or clinging onto one another. The two of you found so much comfort in each other in such a short amount of time so all of this came very naturally and quickly for y’all. 

Around a year into your friendship, you realized something that would soon become an issue after getting rejected by a crush. The day you got turned down, you texted Matt telling him what happened the moment you got home. As he was comforting you and giving you advice, one thing that he said stuck to you.

“I feel like it’s a lot easier to have a crush on your friend. You won’t have to worry about befriending your crush since you already know them!”

Matt’s words replayed over and over in your head for the next few days. And the more you thought about what he said, you soon came to the realization that you had a crush on him. The moment you realized, it all became so clear to you. How could you ignore the multiple signs that were in front of your face? 

Every time y’all hung out together, you felt extra giddy inside and when you looked at each other, your heart beat so loudly in your chest that you were surprised it didn’t jump out of your skin. Not to mention how nervous you got when you caught him looking at you! Another factor that played into you liking the boy was how much he genuinely cared for you. He was one of the only few people that really understood you and was constantly there for you. You’ve opened up to him about so many things and he’s remembered all of it.

And when I mean all of it, I mean all of it. 

He remembered every little detail about you and it made you so happy that someone actually cared. How could you not like a boy like Matt? Sure he was very attractive, but he has such amazing qualities that make him a great person to be around. You enjoyed every little moment you had with him. Even if it was a short conversation that the two of you had during passing period at school, you cherished every single moment you had with him. 

When you came to terms with your feelings, you found yourself falling for him. And you fell hard. Nick would even say that you were “whipped for him.” (Which wasn’t far from the truth. The boy had you wrapped around his finger without even knowing it himself.) The more y’all hung out, the more your feelings grew and you soon couldn’t take it anymore. After about a month and a half of discovering your feelings for Matt, you confessed to him. You were an anxious and shaking wreck when you opened up to him. 

You feared that he wouldn’t feel the same and possibly cut off your friendship. And you couldn’t bear losing Matt over some stupid feelings that you couldn’t control. But after you confessed and heard Matt say “Y/N, I like you too” and the boy proceeded to go into his own little confession where he gushed about you, you felt like you were over the moon. 

However, due to some of his relationship trauma, the boy wasn’t very keen on getting into a relationship with you at the moment. He was still healing from an old relationship from about two years ago that left him heavily scarred. He told you that he would absolutely love to be in a relationship with you but not at the moment since he needed to heal. So, like any good person would, you heard him out and agreed to put a hold on getting together. 

Ever since you two confessed to each other, the physical touch increased significantly. There was more hugging and y’all even started holding hands secretly in class since neither of you were big fans of PDA. Matt would even write you notes on small stickys telling you how much he loved and appreciated you. It always made your heart flutter when you read those notes and you always kept them in a notebook along with other small things he wrote for you. 

As y’all’s feelings for each other grew, you both got more open in terms of relationships. As in calling each other subtle pet names like ‘Love’ or telling each other what you’d want in a relationship. Every time you told Matt about what you’d want to do with a guy, he always told you that he’d be willing to complete your wishes. This always made you so happy because he actually wanted to make you happy when y’all got together. 

However as weeks passed, you noticed Matt started to get distant and less affectionate. 

There was no more hand holding, notes, hugs, and your goodnight messages were getting left on seen or delivered. He even asked you to stop with the pet names, which you obviously did because you didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable. All of this made you very upset because he was all over you one moment and really distant the next. You were very confused and hurt. 

So you decided to text him. 

When you messaged him confronting him on why he’s been getting distant, you felt your entire world crumble to your feet when he told you that he no longer had feelings for you and the entire time it was just mutual feelings. He went on and said that he apologizes and that his past relationship is getting him confused on being able to differentiate between crushes and a strong friendship. Feeling very hurt and upset, you told Matt that you understand and that you’d wait for him because of how strong your feelings were for him. After y’all’s conversation, you sobbed for hours. 

You thought you actually had a chance with him and went through all of that together just for him to tell you that the feelings were mutual all this time?.. 

You were absolutely crushed. 

As time passed, y’all began to grow distant and you felt that things were starting to become awkward. And this made you panic. The mere thought of you getting distant from Matt was starting to frighten you a little because you relied on him so much and he was one of the only few people you had. You opened up to him countless times about how you’ve felt and the same response that he gave you was “you’re just not talking to me as much as you used to. I try to talk to you but it’s like you’re not even trying to engage in a simple conversation with me anymore.” 

This response obviously made you feel like you were the issue and made you feel absolutely horrible. You began to think that your strong feelings for the boy were getting in the way of y’all’s friendship and you didn’t want that. So you tried your best to get rid of these feelings as best as you could just so things could go back to normal. It seemed to work for a little while but your feelings were always there, no matter how hard you tried to push them away. 

I’m somebody you touch, but never hold 

And you’re somebody I’ll never really know 

Time skip to about three months later, you and Matt are somewhat back to normal and you managed to get rid of your feelings. 

Or so you thought. 

The main thing you missed the most about yalls friendship was the physical touch. You missed his hugs; his warm, comforting hugs that never failed to keep you at bay. Matt also seemed to miss this part of y'all's friendship and agreed to take the physical touch slowly to get back into the old rhythm of things. Soon enough, you both eased back into the hugs, which you were wanting and wishing for the most. You still felt awkward engaging in them sometimes and you just didn’t know why. 

Despite you thinking that you two were back to normal, you continuously felt like you were losing him. Matt, knowing you better than anyone, immediately picked up on your off behavior and asked you how you were doing in private. It took you a minute, but you soon told him how you felt about the current situation. After the boy let you rant, he gave you nothing but sweet reassurance about how he would never leave you and that he treasured very much. This made you feel a lot better and you both shared a hug. One that felt nostalgic to you. It was warm, and very comforting and didn’t hold any awkwardness or tension. 

But as the days passed, you couldn’t help the aching feeling in your chest each time you saw him laughing with his other friends as you were left off to the side. Was it jealousy? You really didn’t know. He just seemed to want to hang out with other people besides you and he seemed a lot happier. You obviously didn’t confront him about it because you felt selfish thinking about it. Sure you hinted about the fact that he kept leaving you for other people but never told him straight up in fear that you would ruin y’all’s already rocky friendship. 

This caused you to take a rather large step back and distance yourself due to feeling that he no longer had any interest in y’all’s friendship. Him leaving you for other people multiple times was a sign of him losing interest, right? Sure, he could have other friends. You would never hold him back from that. But he kept leaving you in the dust. Despite this, you always found yourself drifting back to him. You couldn’t help but to drift back because you missed him so much. 

Every time you watched him interact and have fun with his other friends, you always had an aching feeling in your chest because that’s how you two used to be. Laughing over stupid shit and not caring about a single thing around you. You just focused on each other. 

You missed it. 

The two of you were getting distant. You knew it deep down. But the two of you always pushed the thought of it away and acted like y’all were fine. 

When it obviously wasn’t.

There was something holding yall back. 

And you knew that that something was your strong feelings for him. It had to be. It was ruining everything. 

I know I’m not the one you really love

I guess that’s why I’m never given up

You tried so hard to get rid of your feelings for Matt. And you actually thought you succeeded at some point. But when he told you about a crush that he developed on a girl, you couldn’t help but feel upset. Sure, y’all’s situation-ship happened a while ago but he seemed to have very strong feelings for this crush of his. He moved on and you were still longing for him deep down. You were very happy for the boy and gave him advice on how he should approach this crush of his because that’s what friends do but you always felt this aching in your chest afterwards. 

This feeling only worsened when he told you that he asked the girl out. It made you think back to how y’all used to be. He was so hesitant to get into a relationship with you and told you that he didn't want to get into one anytime soon but he didn’t hesitate to jump into a relationship with this girl who he only knew for about a month. It made you feel really hurt. It made you feel like he led you on. 

‘Cause I could give you all you want, the stars and the sun

But I’m, I’m not enough 

As weeks passed and you watched Matt get deeper into his relationship, you felt your heart twist and turn. You wished that was you. You thought it was going to be you in a happy relationship with him but it was clear that it wasn’t. He was all over his newly found girlfriend and hung out with her nearly every single day. When you two talked, he was always texting her and didn’t pay much attention to you despite you being right next to him. When you texted him, he always gushed about her.

It was always about her. 

You knew he was deeply in love with this girl. It was clear. And you knew you couldn’t do anything to make him change his feelings for her. As deeply as you wanted to get together with him, you didn’t dare to get between his relationship. What kind of person would you be if you did? A horrible one that’s what. And you didn’t want that.

So you stood by the side, watching him be happy with his girlfriend. You never told Matt that you still had feelings for him. Why would you bother? He would immediately reject you. You tried to find new crushes but each time you drifted back to him. Even though you genuinely thought you were deep in a crush with someone else, your heart prevented you from doing anything with them because it knew you were still not over Matt. 

You missed him. He was so caught up with his girlfriend that he started talking to you less. Yes, he did text you here and there but it was mainly about his girlfriend. You didn’t say anything about it because he was actually talking to you. And you took everything that you could get because you missed him. 

All I really wanted was that look in your eyes

Like you already know that I’m the love of your life

As much as you missed y’all’s friendship, you missed the intimate moments the most. As much as you tried to ignore the fact, you knew you did. You missed how he looked at you as if you were the love of his life. You missed the love-sick notes he wrote you every day. Hell, you still had them in your notebook! You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of them. As much as it hurt you each time you flipped to the page, you didn’t have it in you to throw it all away. It reminded you of what y’all had. And you missed what y’all had. You missed the subtle hand holding, the back hugs during class, the small gifts y’all gave each other, the late night calls where you often fell asleep with each other on FaceTime. You missed everything y’all did. 

Like you already know you’re never sayin’ goodbye 

But I’m not yours 

Matt would never know the things you would do for him. Hell, you would do anything and everything for him. Everytime he asked you to do him a favor, you didn’t hesitate to do it for him. You dropped everything for him. Which sounds very unhealthy but you couldn’t help it. You missed him and loved him. You were whipped. You were wrapped around his pinkie finger. 

And he was oblivious about all of it. 

You wanted all of it back. You wanted to be all over him and be able to gush about him openly. And you missed how he would gush about you as well and how he seemed so obsessed with you. However you knew you would never get it back because he was so in love with someone else. 

You clinged and held onto every moment y’all had with each other. Even if y'all were simply standing next to each other, you cherished it. At least you were with him. At least you saw him. It made you feel desperate but you just missed him. You tried so hard to try to spark up a conversation but your stupid feelings just made you feel awkward. 

You had no idea what to do and you blamed it on your undeniable feelings for the boy. Your heart prevented you from acting like how you usually would with him and you didn’t know how to fix it. 

I want more, I want more

But I’m not yours 

All you wanted was to get together with him. Yes, you did miss how y’all’s friendship used to be but all you really wanted was to be happy with him. That's what your heart longed for. To show him how madly in love you were with him. But you couldn’t because he was dating someone else and had no plans on breaking up with his girlfriend. You knew how happy he was with her. She always boosted his mood when he was down (You used to boost his mood when he was down.) and just made him so happy in general. She was the perfect girlfriend for him. She never hesitated to show her love for him or post him on her story. They were practically made for each other and everyone knew it. You had to admit you were a little jealous. I mean, how could you not be? You were watching the love of your life be happy with someone else. 

And I can’t change your mind

But you’re still mine

As much as you tried to discard your feelings, they never went away. You tried everything in the book; giving him icks, distancing yourself, picturing him doing embarrassing things, you tried everything and none of it worked. Your feelings were going to permanently stick with you and you had no choice but to accept it. 

Eventually you did accept it and just allowed your feelings to swallow you whole. Which was a very horrible mistake on your part because the urge to be as affectionate as possible and urge to gush over the boy grew stronger. You wanted to tell him how you felt about him so badly but you knew that it would ruin everything and cause him to drift even farther away from you. 

Matt was the number one person in your heart. The boy that you cared the most about. Your favorite person. You would do anything for him. But you knew that he didn't feel the same about you. You probably weren't even on the list of people he cared for. You were most like an extra in his life. A person who he doesn't speak much to unless it was necessary. (Or if he wanted to talk about his girlfriend) You were perfectly fine with being an extra. (You really weren't deep down.) As long as he was still in your life, you were happy.

I should’ve known that it was dumb love 

15 dozen roses 

All the things that I’ve done for you not to notice 

The reason why this whole situation hurt so badly was because Matt was your first genuine crush. You did have quite a few crushes and even dated a few people in grade school but the outcome never turned out well. Two years prior to your realizing that you had feelings for Matt, you were in a relationship that you had to end yourself because you were highly uncomfortable and didn't want to lead the person on. (Ending it was very difficult for you because you never initiated the break ups. The person you were with usually did.)

Matt was your first love. People say first loves hurt the most because it's the first experience of a deep emotional connection with someone. Some people are lucky to have a successful first love where they get married and even potentially have a family, but the vast majority experience severe heartbreak. And that's exactly what you were going through. And you continued to allow yourself to get hurt by the boy because you couldn't bear to lose him. He was just too important to you. 

Can’t believe I chose you over all my best friends 

What the fuck did I do?

In the end? 

You were willing to give up anyone and everyone for him. If he told you to drop someone because they weren’t “good enough for you,” you would do it in a heartbeat. He knows you better than everyone else so he had to be right! Right? And he wouldn’t lie like that to you either right?

…right? 

You would choose Matt over anyone. All your friends knew you favorited him. (They also continuously told you how unhealthy this situation had become) They knew how head over heels you were for him. Hell, they often brought up his name randomly in a conversation that you weren’t a part of just to see how quickly you would turn around. They found it funny how much you loved him. 

But you didn’t find it funny whatsoever because he was causing you so much pain. 

And he didn’t know it. 

And he never will. 

Just to not be yours 

As you continued to hold onto the few remaining threads of y’all’s relationship, you watched him be happy with his girlfriend. You watched and wished that it was you and wished that you could be happy with him. 

To this day, you still struggle with your feelings. You kept going into denial about them but they always hit you with full force when you thought you finally got rid of them. 

You will continue to wait for him. For however long it takes. Even if you have to watch him get into a hundred more relationships, you will continue to stay by his side; waiting for when you have a chance to finally capture his heart like he did to yours. 

But for now, you will continue to watch on the sidelines and wait. 

[plotsignificanthaircut555]

Ternion Part 1

Kishibe x Reader x Aki Hayakawa SMUT, Angst, Fluff, MDNI, 18+ only ao3

(this part is mostly Kishibe x Reader. Part Two will mix it up more)(( I did, they do. heres Part 2, and heres Part 3)) 9.2k words.

The Public Safety Office is notorious for breeding all kind of salacious office romances. You just happen to be carrying on two at the time. But what happens when the wild card Captain Kishibe finds out you have started seeing the tragically handsome Aki Hayakawa? Will you have to choose? Or maybe the three of you can find some kind of…arrangement?

Content NOTES: SEX/SMUT, kissing, spitting, riding, jealousy, fighting, cursing, teasing, Kishibe is kind of a dick in general but it’s because he’s got FEEEELINGS, lots of pining in general, y’all already know we’re gonna be smoking and drinking coffee, again this is the start of a two part-er so bear with me here. There’s a lot of fighting in this part, we have to build the tension, gang. Okay bye I hope you enjoy.

Okay what is it?” You had finally had enough, you pulled off Kishibe's lips, using your hands on his chest to push away.

You two had been making out hard for about ten or so minutes. This wouldn’t be a problem, except you were just kissing. He hadn’t made any effort to remove your shirt or grind you down on his lap which you were so prettily perched on. He hadn’t even snuck his hands under your shirt to undo your bra with one move of his thumb, one of his favorite moves!

The man underneath you cocked his head, playing stupid.

“What d’you mean?”he huffed out, eyes betraying nothing.

“I mean you’ve been over for a half hour and you’ve barely put your hands on me. I’m in your lap, doing some of my best work and you’re not even hard. What’s up?”

It’s like he was bored, not really bored, but he was— distracted. He clearly had something on his mind and it was interfering with your ability to get laid, and you would not, could not, stand for that.

The pair of you were folded up in the large recliner in your small apartment's living room. He had come over, like he did pretty much every Thursday night for the last four or so months, bringing a bottle of wine for you, and nearly 45 years of sexual experience to keep you blind with pleasure. It wasn’t terribly long but it was long enough for the two of you to develop an exciting and standing casual arrangement. No strings attached, just incredible sex and some camaraderie between colleagues. You liked things this way, and he did too, or he seemed like he did. Usually. Tonight he was just off, from the moment he showed up at your door you could tell something was bothering him, something was almost always bothering him so you figured it was he would forget about it once you got your lips and hands on him. Usually this would have been enough, but here you were: grinding away, kissing his neck in all of his favorite spots and he was giving you nothing.

Kishibe clicked his tongue, clearly annoyed. Kishibe pretended he hated when you got bratty, usually he’d show you just how much by railing you into the mattress or spanking you until you cried, but instead he just rolled his eyes and huffed. You didn’t care for his bratty side either, so you started to move off of his lap. Before you could stand, he gripped your hips, hard, holding you firmly where you were.

“Are you fucking him?” He growled out, large hands gripping the flesh of your hips.

“You’ll have to be more specific.” You shot right back, excited to finally get him talking to you, and touching you.

“The kid.” He specified, his shark eyes meeting yours in a new, predatory gaze.

You raised your eyebrows, you were starting to get annoyed now. If he was going to ruin your night’s plan of mindless sexual bliss he could at least make it concise.

“That’s an insane follow up. Kishibe, who the fuck are you talking about?”

“Hayakawa. Are you fucking him?”

Oh.

“So what if I am?” You crossed your arms.

“So you are.” Kishibe’s lips were so tight, you could practically hear his teeth grinding.

“Occasionally.” You shrugged.

“Does he know you’re sleeping with his superior?” He meant it in the technical, work hierarchy sense, but something in his tone begged you to infer something more malicious.

“You’re technically my superior, too, so I figured that wasn’t exactly something you wanted too many people to know.”

It wasn’t against the rules for you and Kishibe to be sleeping together, it wasn’t against the rules for you and Aki to be sleeping together either. Devil hunters hooked up all the time. Everyone either knew about it or was actively participating. But there were definitely more murmurings when there were such wide gaps in age and positioning, such was the case with you and Kishibe. He was twenty years older than you (give or take)and of course he had a…reputation. It went smoother in people’s minds for you to say you were sleeping with Aki: nearly the same age, the same job, compatible demeanors. People would be happy to know you and Aki found comfort in one another. Kishibe was a wild card, a mad dog, unpredictable, a recipe for disaster and heartbreak. You knew this, because you had told someone, you told Kobeni one night at the bar and her reactions played out exactly as expected. Saying Aki was totally fine, good even, you both deserved something nice. But you should be careful with Kishibe, that he would probably be too emotionally unavailable or just generally bad news, and at the very worst actually dangerous. You explaining to her that it was purely physical didn’t do much to soothe her anxiety, but rarely anything did.

Kishibe repeated himself underneath you, “Does he know? About us.”

“Not specifically. He knows I’m sleeping with someone else.” You confessed.

Kishibe started to sit up, and you let him, climbing off his lap and standing up next to the chair. He stood up and walked to the kitchenette to pour himself a drink. You stood and watched him.

“What’s the big deal, Kishi?” You couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped you. He was being so dramatic.

He stayed silent and gulped down a heavy pour of whiskey, and went to pour himself another.

“I honestly didn’t think you would care. Especially not this much.” You rolled your eyes, still watching him with your arms crossed.

“Then why didn’t you mention it until now?” He finally replied to you.

“I didn’t think it mattered. You knew I was seeing other people. I know you’re doing the same. Why does it being Aki matter so much?”

He tsked, “so familiar.”

You laughed again, “Kishibe, come on. Are you seriously upset about this?”

He swallowed his drink whole again and cleared the bottle into his glass. You sat down on the recliner in a huff.

“Jealousy isn't a good color on you.” You picked at the edges of your fingernails. Any arousal you had been feeling before was long gone, leaving you instead with irritation.

“I’m not jealous.” He groaned.

“Right. Of course not.” You shook your head.

“I just think it’s stupid.”

“You think It’s stupid or you think I’m stupid?” He caught your attention now. Standing up from the chair to face him again.

He turned to face you again, the studio suddenly felt cavernous with the space between you.

“I think you’re being stupid. I don’t think you are stupid. I just expected more from you.” He shrugged, leaning against the shitty laminate countertop.

He went too far with that one.

“You’re scolding me now? Like I’m a child? Where do you get off talking to me like you have any say in what I do?” You challenged him, imploring him to revise what he had said, for his own sake.

Kishibe stood firm, “I just didn’t think you were the type to go with a kid like that.”

“We aren’t going together. We’ve had sex a few times. It’s casual, like we’re casual. Sex doesn’t mean we’re going together. Don’t make it so obvious you were born in the 40s.” You shrugged, annoyed at this point, how dare he talk to you like he was in charge, like he had any claim to you.

Kishibe left the counter and walked towards you. Closing the distance rather quickly for a half drunk. He was so close now you could smell his cologne, you usually loved the smell of his cologne. It was comprised of dark, earthy scents: tobacco, vanilla, cognac. But now it was overwhelming, and you wanted to pull away, but you stood your ground.

“Isn’t he a little…green…for your tastes?” He cocked his head to the side, eyes scanning you closely.

He was sizing you up, seeing if you would jump to defend Aki, or if you’d fawn and flatter him instead. You chose neither. Despite having to look up at him due to his stature, you sacrificed no command over the exchange.

“I think I can make that call for myself.” You mirrored the angle of his head and leaned a bit close.

You saw the scarred half of his mouth twitch slightly and his eyes begin to dilate, fixing onto you,“Thought you needed someone who knew what they were doing? Someone who knows where everything is, knows how to make someone else cum. Does he?”

His voice was starting to align with the way he would talk to you when he was talking down to you in bed. When you’d let him boss you around and you’d do whatever he said. You couldn’t fight the fact that he was sexy like this, voice dripping, leaning over you, using his full height to his advantage. But he was also being a dick. You could deal with him being a dick most of the time, but this was different. Was he actually judging you? Or was he actually just jealous?

The truth was Hayakawa was great in bed, he was attentive, efficient, good kisser, better with his hands, in the few encounters you had, you slept soundly in his bed after one or two orgasms and often woke up to coffee ready.

But Kishibe was just…on another level, and the asshole knew it. He was right, his experience and his edge made him an exceptional lover. He could have you cumming three times over without even taking his cock out. His tongue was wicked, his fingers were thick and long, but it was something beyond all that, something intangible; like he could see right through you, some clairvoyance that showed him the perfect way to take you apart. But Kishibe almost never slept over, he would lay with you for an hour or so afterwards, smoking and chatting, but if it wasn’t leading to another round, he would redress and excuse himself. On the exceedingly rare occasions he did sleep over, it was you who made coffee or breakfast, only to have him kiss the top of your head and leave before partaking in any of it.

You didn’t want him to be your boyfriend. You didn’t want a boyfriend period. But sometimes you wanted a bit more intimacy than just sex, you wanted him to hold you, sleep next to you, to kiss you when he woke up the way Aki did. When you were with Aki it felt like you were indulging in a shadow of a relationship, when you were with Kishibe you felt exhilarated and alive, but not necessarily cared for. It was the reason you had them both.

But you weren’t about to let Kishibe know that. Leaning into him coyly and batting your long lashes up at him, fingers toying for his loosened tie. An interested smile sat on his lips, which he parted slightly as you inched closer.

“Mmmhm. And I can ride him without worrying about him going into cardiac arrest.” You pushed him away hard, passing him and retreating to the kitchenette.

“You’ve really got quite the mouth on you, kid.” Kishibe was stunned. Furious and stunned.

“And it’s such a shame you won’t be getting to enjoy it tonight.” You said into the refrigerator, looking for the bottle of wine he had brought over earlier, “if that’s all, you can go.”

Kishibe realized he was losing the battle. He was annoyed about Hayakawa, he wanted to address it, but he didn’t expect the conversation to go so poorly. He really fucked this up, he hadn’t intended to go so off the rails.

He found out this morning; he had seen you and Hayakawa talking, it was so subtle that anyone else wouldn’t have noticed, but Kishibe knew you. The way you had smiled at the dark man, the way Aki had moved some of your hair over your shoulder and given you a light squeeze, the way the kid’s eyes watched your mouth so closely. He knew instantly you had fucked. Or, worse, have been fucking. He felt that ugly green monster start devouring his stomach at the thought of Hayakawa knowing how you felt inside, how you sounded when you were full, the way you kissed, the way you tasted. Kishibe hadn’t ever been a jealous man, a persistent one, sure, but never envious. And never for someone so…young. It preyed upon a deep seeded insecurity in him. He knew that if it were hunting, he could kill every devil in sight and Hayakawa before the kid could even blink. But sex was one of his skill sets that he kept, for lack of a better term, close to the belt. He knew he had a reputation for being good, and experienced, but age and time came for everyone eventually. Were you seeing this kid because he wasn’t satisfying you the same way? Did you need more from him and he couldn’t give it? What the fuck was Hayakawa giving you that he couldn’t?

Fuck.

It had buzzed around in his mind all day, he knew he was seeing you tonight and he had tried to knock the thoughts free before he came over, to no avail. Now he had let his temper get the better of him and you were shutting him out.

You found the bottle and were peeling the foil when Kishibe approached behind you. You were familiar with his move set by now that you practically felt his fingers ghost over your neck and move your hair to the side before they did. You were annoyed, but you let him press his lips to your exposed neck, his other hand moving over your waist and hip.

“I’m sorry. I was out of line.” He mumbled.

“You’re an asshole.” You corrected him.

“I’m an asshole.” He nodded, his stubble scratching the tender skin of your neck.

“And I’m too good for you.” You added.

“Far too good for me.” He had both of his hands on your hips now, he was winning you back over.

A small moan slipped from your lips when he kissed just behind your ear. You set the corkscrew and bottle down on the counter, opting to grip the edge instead. Kishibe’s hands gripped your hips and pulled you closer against him, kisses moving down the side of your neck and across your shoulder. You shivered, his lips were kiss bitten and swollen, reminding you of why he had come over in the first place. You could feel yourself falling under his spell already, this was so like him. He could fuck his way out of anything if you let him. You didn’t want to let him off the hook, you wanted to make him apologize, to make him explain himself, but you could already feel the ache building inside of you. Kishibe slid his hand underneath the hem of your shirt, his calloused fingers pressing against the soft skin of your lower stomach.

“Come on, baby. Forgive me already.” He mumbled into your hair, “said I was sorry.”

The back of your head hit his collarbone, “you don’t get to come here and cause problems and then fuck me until I forget.”

He shook his head, he was barely listening at this point, too focused on moving his hand up your abdomen toward your left breast.

“Kishibe…” your voice fluttered, you were trying so hard to remind yourself to stay strong, “I’m serious…”

He nodded his head, now fully not listening, his hand had reached your breast and was working its way under your bra, twirling his index finger around your nipple.

You were done for, you shuddered back against him, a wanton moan leaving you as his hot tongue swiped up your pulse point. Kishibe couldn’t hold back the pride he felt, just barely touching you and already you were trembling. He grabbed a fist full of your breast with his right hand, moving his lips up your neck, across your jaw. You rushed to turn your face to meet his mouth, immediately your tongues tangled, settling into their rhythm from before. His hips trapped yours against the counter, he tasted like whiskey, he smelled like leather, his mouth was so warm and inviting. The length that rested against your lower back was growing, Kishibe’s arousal had been resurrected. His kisses were hot and hungry, his tongue exploratory and eager, his hands wandering and groping freely.

“Say you’re sorry,” you groan against his lips.

“I’m sorry.” Kishibe does so instantly, gripping your other breast harder than the first.

“Say it again.” You turned your body further, trying to face him.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered again, his hand now removing your bra although you didn’t even feel him unclip the clasp.

Your own hands went to work unbuttoning his shirt, and pulling it from his work pants. When they found his belt you finally hear Kishibe moan. A fluid, throaty sound that sent heat to the tips of your ears. He removes your own shirt, grasping at your chest with both hands freely. The only sounds in the room are the hot breaths stolen in between fevered kisses, the jingling sound of you removing his belt, and the shuffling of fabric between your grinding bodies.

“Come here.” Once he had been freed from his shirt, his belt, and you had started your work on his zipper, Kishibe hooked his hands around the back of your legs. He picked you up easily, one arm under your butt and the other supporting your back, a hand wrapped around the back of your neck.

He walked the two of you back to your bedroom, not needing your direction, laying you out on the bed. You rushed to rid yourself of your remaining clothing, leaning on your elbows to watch him do the same. Kishibe was an imposing form, tall, and built. Intricate patterns of scar and muscle made up a tapestry of his personal history. There were fresh and early stage healing bruises along his side and hip.

He removed his pants, and your mouth started to water at the reveal of his hips and thighs. It was such an intimate part of the body, especially on a man. More private even than the genitals themselves, maybe. Serving no overt sexual function but still remaining spots seen rarely and only by those privileged with a whole form. Seeing a lover, or anyone undressing is an act of trust that you relished in. You watched closely as the muscles strained and flex, rippling over one another, skin stretching and folding with every move. You were familiar with how he moved, the choreography of his body when he fought, practiced technique with the perfect amount of finesse, here in the privacy of your room he moved with the same type of refined confidence.

Now cleared of all barriers between yourselves, he approached you, spreading your knees apart with his hands. The cool air hitting your dampened center sent a shiver through your body. Kishibe watched you twitch, hole clenching around nothing already as your lips parted. You were already so wet for him, so ready, so desperate. He truly had you right where he wanted you. A wicked smile curled across his face as he knelt before you on the bed. One of his hands began to palm his cock; hard and heavy between his legs, standing at attention, a bead of precum building at the tip.

“Look at you,” he marveled at you exposed to him on your back; nipples peeked, skin flushing, pussy dripping onto your bedsheets. You looked completely fucked out already, “you need my fingers, baby? You want my cock? Ask me, baby. Tell me what you need.”

You whimpered watching his body react to his own touch, abs clenching, cock jumping, breath increasing, “Kishibe fuck me please…I need you inside.”

He clicked his tongue again, his unoccupied hand moved your leg onto his chest, bringing your ankle by his neck, and your thigh pressed up against his hip. He wanted your skin on his as much as possible, despite his desire to extend your restlessness, he ran the head of his cock up and down your slit. He bit back the shaky moan that threatened to leave him as your wetness started to suck him in. You couldn’t keep yourself from rocking your hips in time with his movements, carving the feeling of him sinking inside of you.

“Kiiiiiishi.” You pleaded again, you should have cringed at the pathetic sound of your own voice, but you couldn’t care.

Kishibe put one hand next to the side of your head, leaning down to you, your leg bending with him to open yourself more for him, “you want this dick? You want my dick? You want me to fuck you?”

This should have raised alarm bells for you, a clue that maybe your earlier argument wasn’t yet settled for him. But in this moment, with him so close, just barely not penetrating you yet, his lips nearly on yours, the thought never entered your mind. Instead you nodded messily, affirming his possessive dirty talk.

“Yes, Kishibe, I want you so bad. I need your cock. Please. Please.” Your begging was getting more weak, Kishibe was dripping already, coming far too close for not even having entered you yet.

When his tip breached past your hole, you and Kishibe moaned together, your sounds of pleasure merging in the air into a singular divine sound. He had one hand gripping your thigh tightly, pushing it as far back as your hamstring would allow. You dug your nails into Kishibe’s forearm by your head, bracing for the feeling of his cock remolding your walls to match its shape. But it didn’t come. Opening your tightly shut eyes you found Kishibe staring down at you, scanning your face closely.

“Wha—“ you started to protest.

“How does he fuck you?” The older man spoke in a low, measured voice.

“Are you fucking—-“

He cut you off again by pushing more of his length inside of you, “this deep? Deeper?”

Kishibe pushed deeper into you slowly, watching you for an indication of answer.

Your back arched up as he pressed deeper and deeper inside of you, his seemingly endless entrance leaving you barely any thinking power to process his question. Kishibe pulled his hips back, pushing your thigh into a deeper stretch. Only a few inches of his cock remained buried inside of you. You wanted the full length so badly you felt hot tears start to sting in your eyes.

“More like here right?” Kishibe mocked you, barely pushing in and out of you in shallow, sloppy thrusts.

It was cruel of him to be making fun of Hayakawa like this. Something so personal. Nor was it fair to you. But you wanted him so badly you couldn’t think straight. You couldn’t think about Aki right now. You could think only of him.

Kishibe pushed deeper into you, the arch in your back, and your heaving breasts beckoning him closer, “tell me whose pussy this is.”

You mewled in response, only for him to respond to your insolence by slapping the outside of your thigh. The tip of his cock pressed so hard against the wall of your cervix, you wanted to squirm away from the sensation, but Kishibe held you still.

“Now. Who owns this pussy?”

“You! You Kishibe, fuck— you.” You could barely get out the words as he hammered into you relentlessly.

Kishibe’s big hands moved over your face, moving sweat of your hair out of your eyes, his taunting voice cooing at you.

“That’s right, girl. You need this big cock, you need someone who can treat this pussy right. Who knows what she needs.” He rocked into you again and again, alternating between filling you completely and leaving you empty.

Your hands battered his shoulders limply, non verbally begging him for more. Kishibe had turned your brain to mush, you couldn’t think in sentences, only feelings of pleasure jolting through you.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He cooed down to you in mock kindness, “nothing to say now that you’re too of cock full to think?”

You shook your head dumbly, or attempted too while one of his hands was still holding your jaw in place. He squeezed the sides of your face lightly, making your mouth open. Knowing exactly what was coming you stuck out your tongue eagerly. Kishibe gathered spit in his mouth, letting it run from his lips to between yours. His saliva was warm, it tasted only like him, a taste combination entirely his own. Purely Kishibe. You swallowed it down after letting it linger on your tongue for a moment or two. His hips stalled briefly as he felt your walls clench around him. His head hung above yours, his hair brushing against your own head as he leaned down to kiss you again. He pressed deeper into you, although not thrusting, as his tongue slithered against yours. Your hands found the back of his hair, tugging lightly at the cropped undercut, pulling him closer. He pulled your leg up over his hip, and around his lower back, keeping his hand gripped around the flesh of your thigh. In one perfect move he rolled onto his back, bringing you with him, propping you up on his lap before you had time to gasp.

“Cardiac arrest huh?” Kishibe swatted your ass, urging you to move your hips, “you think you’re funny now?”

Getting your bearings back you steadied your hands on his chest, starting to move your hips up and down his length. He tipped his head back underneath you, reveling in the show you put on for him. He loved watching the muscles in your thighs flex as you rose yourself up and back down on him. How the meat of your stomach would move with every lurch, your breast following suit. You were so beautiful. So uninhibited, so unashamed. How ever had he gotten so lucky? To find himself below you in such bliss. Kishibe tucked one hand behind his head to watch you and kept the other on your hip, offering support more than actual guidance in your movement. His cock had an upward curve in it, meaning when you rode him its head nestled perfectly against your g spot. Your body moved on its own, bouncing in a perfect rhythm, fucking yourself on his length, it felt so good, but you needed more.

“Kishi, please.” you grabbed at his hand, trying to pull his fingers off your hip, “Please, baby, ah, touch me.”

He let out a low whistle, “I think I should keep you like this. So desperate for me. Just me. I like you like this, girl.”

You whined, tears returning to your eyes, “Don’t do this kishi…ah..wanna cum. Please.”

“Show me how Hayakawa likes it. How do you fuck yourself for him?” He clicked his tongue, gripping your hip harder, indicating he wouldn't be touching your aching clit anytime soon.

You stilled your movements, now more annoyed than desperate, “You’re still thinking about him, right now? You’re literally inside of me and you’re thinking about Hayakawa?”

Kishibe chuckled lowly, pulling your hips up and down again, slowly, testing his luck, “I was just curious about what he gets to see that I haven’t.”

“You’re not funny, Kishibe, I was so close.” You smack his hands away from your hip and pulled off of him, feeling the ache in your legs now that you didn't have the momentum to keep you going.

Kishibe groaned as you removed him from inside of you, his now soaked erection flopping onto his abdomen. He reached out for you but you smacked at his arm, “Baby come on…I was teasing.”

“I told you, it's not funny, it’s mean. You’re being mean. What’s your fucking problem? Why do you have to be such a dickhead all the time?” You stood up from the bed, retreating to the bathroom to clean up the lingering mess between your legs.

Kishibe didn't know why he had said it, any of it, or why he had continued to push. He just couldn't get the image of you and Hayakawa together out of his head, seeing you above him he couldn’t stop picturing the younger man touching you in his place. He moved his hands over his face, hearing the faucet in your bathroom start running. He was pushing you away, he couldn't stop himself from wanting to avoid your rejection. It was one thing to share you with whatever nameless, anonymous sexual partners you could find in your own time, but it being someone he knew was eating away at him. He felt like a fucking teenager. Immature, ego fueled self sabotage taking over when all he truly wanted was to have you to himself. But he couldn’t ask that of you.

Kishibe slung his legs over the bed and stood, knees clicking, to join you in the bathroom not bothering to clothe himself. Entering the bathroom with a light knock he caught your eyes in the mirror, you were pissed. He figured it was best to let you speak first, he was clearly only driving his foot deeper into his mouth.

You were pissed. You were angry and unsatisfied and embarrassed. You really thought this was working, you liked Kishibe; you liked how hard he was to crack, you felt honored he had let you so close to him, he was good in bed, interesting, handsome, funny—in his own way, and you learned you really did like spending time with him. It had started so easily, and continued naturally, very little discussion necessary; you kept things neat and discreet without reveling too much in the excitement of a secret romance. You had looked forward to seeing him, often scheduling other plans around him to make sure you could see him each week or at least every other week. You felt like an idiot. You knew he was unpredictable, but this sort of reaction to simply overhearing the idea of you sleeping with another coworker was unacceptable. You splashed some cool water on your face; ridding your skin of its pleasure induced flush, and the taste of him from your mouth. When he entered the bathroom behind you, he looked as stoic as ever, but his eyes were wide and careful; like he was watching a dangerous animal move before him. You sighed, placing your hands on the basin of the sink, the stone giving you the resolve to speak your mind.

“What do you want from me, Kishibe?” You sighed out, exhausted at having to continue fighting with him.

He stayed quiet until he realized you were truly going to wait for him, “I don—“

“Do you want me to stop seeing him?” You speculated this was exactly what he wanted.

He looked back at you through the mirror, desperate to try and read what you wanted as though it would appear on your face.

“Do you want me to stop seeing everyone that isn’t you?” You gripped the sink tighter, as though if you cracked the porcelain you could stave off the hot tears building in your eyes, “we agreed this wasn’t serious. That it was casual. That we were welcome to see other people. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“It’s what you said you wanted.” Kishibe answered you finally.

Watching his shoulders raise and droop in the mirror you had to turn yourself around. Needing to look him in the eye.

“And you agreed. You don’t get to act like this is something I’ve done to you. If you wanted something else you should have said so.” You were taken aback by his assertion.

“I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew I wanted to fuck, and that I wanted to fuck you. I didn’t know how long it would last, I didn’t want to push my luck.”

“So what do you want now? Because I don’t want to guess anymore. I’m so fucking tired of trying to read your mind.” You leaned back against the bathroom counter, the cold stone chilling your body quickly.

“I don’t know.” Kishibe started to stammer again but you stopped him.

“Then I think you should go. Until you know what you want, I can’t keep talking about this tonight.” You were steadfast in your verdict, and there would be no changing your mind.

Kishibe wanted to argue back, to tell you that he wanted you to himself, all to himself, that he hated seeing you and Hayakawa this morning, that he hated how he acted tonight even more. But he couldn’t. So instead he turned back to your bedroom and began to redress himself.

You followed him, wearing your black bathrobe, the intimacy of being naked with one another was gone, there was no room with all the tension and anger inside of the room. A few stray tears slipped from your eyes as you tried not to watch him get changed. No words passed between you, once again the only sound in the room was the sounds of rustling clothes and the jingling of his belt. But now the sound felt so foreign and so strained.

He buttoned his shirt and threw his tie into his pocket rather than tying it. And when he was fully dressed he looked back to you, his heart lurching at your tear stained face. Your eyes were red, the sides of your nose and the apples of your cheeks flushed too. He had done this, he felt sick. He approached you carefully and took your face in his hands, to his surprise you let him. He moved his thumbs over your wet cheeks, you looked so sad, big eyes wet and full looking at him. He wasn’t sure what to say, what he should say, if you wanted him to say anything. So he kissed the top of your head softly.

You allowed this, it was ritual for him to leave your apartment with a kiss on the head. Although it was usually in better spirits. You looked up at him as he pulled away, catching his dark, sad eyes.

“I’ll see you later?” He was asking, not telling.

“I need to know what you want. And I can’t guess. You have to tell me when you figure it out.” You finalized your instructions, the skin of your forehead tingling at the lingering feeling of his lips.

He nodded before leaving your bedroom, pulling on his coat, and leaving out your front door. Once you heard it shut behind him you collapsed into your bed, exhausted and devastated. The sheets still smelled like him, you couldn’t restrain yourself from burying your face in them, sniffing up every lingering note. The night's events replayed in your mind over and over again, the kissing, the first fight, the sex, the fights reprise, the look on his face when you told him to leave. It was miserable. You were miserable. So miserable you couldn’t even bear the thought of completing solo, night and orgasm both ruined all because of some thirty year old ego trip. It wasn’t fair, why couldn’t you have your cake and eat it too? Surely he was sleeping with other people in the department. He was definitely picking up women on the nights he was out of town, or in town but not with you. Right? Surely he wasn’t just sleeping with you. Although , he hadn’t ever mentioned seeing anyone else. When you and Aki had started sleeping together, you had told Kishibe that you were seeing someone else purely from an informative, healthy sexuality practice place, not as a brag or as a confession. And he had yet to do the same. You had just assumed he was private about this sort of thing. He had asked that you remain discreet. Or wait…it was you who had mentioned keeping things quiet between the two of you. But he had agreed.

You sighed into the sheet fabric. Work was going to be awful tomorrow. In any other job you would have called in and avoided the situation completely. Devil hunting didn’t offer the luxury. Usually your work day after a sexual encounter would be one of your easier days x the post course bliss leaving you relaxed and affable, flirtatious glances fueling your hours until it was time to go back home for the weekend. You had planned to call and talk to Aki tomorrow, inviting him over this weekend, but it felt strange to do so now. Everything felt strange now.

You rolled onto your back looking up at the ceiling, praying sleep would win over your troubled mind soon.

At some point it had. Because when your alarm clock sounded, you woke up alone.

You sat inside your shared office for three; Kobeni’s desk, your own, and one desk currently unoccupied, although it had been home to two or three devil hunters you had met over the last year. All of whom were now in the ground. All you wanted was to get through the day, keep your head down, and hopefully not be assigned to leave the building with either of your current fixations. There was some truth to the old adage of not “shitting where you eat”, you were finding.

Kobeni worked quietly at her desk across from you, her big brown eyes frantically searching over her latest report, checking carefully for any mistakes. Soon she would ask you to read over it, to then revise it and have you read it again. Usually you wouldn’t mind double checking her work, but today you could already feel your shoulders tensing up in annoyance. You had your own report to work on, you had your own stressors today, you didn’t have the mental capacity to share hers.

You focused on your own report in front of you, circling miss types and rebooting down data that had previously been correct, but was now outdated. A brown paper to go coffee cup clunked down onto your desk. You followed the gifting hand up the black suit jacket sleeve and found Aki Hayakawa standing above you. His navy eyes were warm and still as they looked down at you. His face was as neutral as it always was, but you had learned to recognize the light shimmer of excitement in his eyes when he looked at you. Usually it made your knees weak, but now it just made your heart ache. He was so handsome, his skin was smooth and dewy, his features were angular and well proportioned. He had his hair pulled back, as always, his bangs hanging freely in his face. You already knew how it felt to run your fingers through his dark tresses, how his lips felt against yours, plump and full, his taste, his smell, the sound of him in ecstasy.

But this, this exchange of coffee in your workplace after the events of last night, you felt embarrassed. No, not embarrassed, guilty. His intense, focused gaze that you had started to covet now had you feeling hot and anxious.

“If it’s…not right, I can drink it instead.” He broke up your spiral, you saw the shift in his eyes, he looked nervous himself.

“No, t-thank you.” You took a sip of the steaming drink.

It was perfect, bitter and dark with just a touch of vanilla. He had paid attention to you making it in the morning, he had paid attention to everything. You saw him smile briefly. He looked through the side of his eye at Kobeni, then back at you, turning his body away from her, leaning in conspiratorially.

Aki cleared his throat before speaking in a low, barely audible voice, “could I-uh…”

His eyes flashed backward briefly, again lowering his voice further, “could I maybe, see you tonight?”

You looked up at him, your eyes wide and sympathetic.

“Uh…”

“I’m going to…uh….i have to…um…go?” Kobeni stood up suddenly, paper crinkling in her hand and left the room, a tornado in her wake.

You stood up to meet Hayakawa, meeting the line of his broad shoulders. You had to turn your face upward to look him in the eye. He was so tall, so handsome, so kind, and looking at you so gently.

“I would really like to see you tonight.” His voice was smooth and low, he reached for your hand, brushing the back of your palm with his thumb.

Your breath was becoming thicker, his hand in yours felt so right, his long, slender fingers interlocked with yours. His shirt was clean and crisp, you could smell his detergent, and his cologne, he always smelled good. He was too good.

“Aki….”, you tried your hardest to resist swooning against him, “I don’t know…do you think we’re moving a little fast?”

“Too fast?” He brought your hand up to his lips, kissing the back of your hand softly, “it was just a cup of coffee, I can throw it out if you’d like?”

You laughed a bit, rolling your eyes playfully, “it’s not the coffee, Aki. Thank you, it’s perfect. You’re sweet. But don’t you worry about getting too involved with me.”

He raised his thin eyebrows, “why should I be worried about that?”

Your breath shuddered as he kissed your hand again. His dark blue eyes were nearly all iris as he watched you. He wanted to be kissing you instead, but he could settle for the feeling of your skin. Hayakawa’s mind was rerunning your last encounter for him. Just last night he had recollected the feeling of your body on his from the previous week; how he had kissed your neck, his face against your breasts, reveling in the memory of your mouth on his cock as he had stroked himself. His fingers traveled up your wrist, moving in a circle around the bones and joints, starting to migrate upwards.

“Aki…”you moaned lightly, “we can’t do this here.”

“Then let me come over tonight.” He moved your hand back down to your desk, you’re finally able to breathe out and catch your breath, “please.”

He was already winning you over. After last night’s nightmare you were so flattered to have him fawn over you like this, for him to be so upfront with his desire for you. Your fingers curled around the still-warm coffee cup, the gesture melting the lingering ice of your heart. You nodded slowly.

“Come over tonight.” You leaned in closer to him, your chests nearly touching.

Aki smiled above you and nodded obediently.

“I need to pull away now, or else I’m going to kiss you.” He said, not yet pulling away.

“Sounds like you should.” You flirted staying just. A few centimeters from his lips on yours, “it would be terrible to be caught like this.”

Aki’s eyes scanned you over and over, moving frantically between your eyes and your mouth. Just as he started to lean in a hair or two there came a knock on the frame of the office door. You quickly pulled away and sat back down at your desk. He straightened his already straight tie and turned back around to face the door.

“Captain!” Aki stood at his full height, back straight as an arrow, “Good morning, sir.”

Your eyes blew open, looking up at Kishibe standing in your office doorway.

When did your office become so popular?

The muscle in Kishibe's jaw emerged tightly, and although you couldn't from across the room, you would have sworn you could hear his molars crushing against one another. The vein in his forehead threatening to burst all over the pair of you.

“Hayakawa.” Kishibe greeted sternly, “Good morning.”

“Good morning Captain.” You followed up, raising to your feet respectfully.

Your palms were wet with sweat, your pulse was beating out of your neck, your knees were trembling.

This was bad. What had he seen? We haven't even kissed yet, he couldn’t have seen anything. What did he think he had seen?

“Good morning.” Kishibe addressed you then looked back to Aki, “Hayakawa, don’t you have your own office?”

Hayakawa was unaware of the reason for Kishibe’s nastiness toward him, but he also didn't know any better than to just assume it was the mentor’s usual bad mood, “Yes sir. I was just stopping by to say good morning to Higayashiyama and---”

“Where has Kobeni gone?” Kishibe interrupted.

“She’s turning in her weekly numbers.” You answered, “You just missed her.”

Kishibe thought about what to do next, squinting at the boy, sizing him up. He supposed he could see what you were attracted to, Hayakawa was a handsome guy. Tall, not as tall as himself, lanky but still carried a reformed build, big hands, big eyes, dumb little ponytail, but he guessed the long hair was probably a draw for you. At one time Aki had reminded Kishibe of himself; determined, deadly, confident. At the current moment all Kishibe wanted to do was take the younger man's long, thin neck in his hands, choke him until he passed out and take you right here in front of him. But he got another idea instead.

KIshibe entered the room a few more steps, leaving the doorway open.

“Hayakawa, mind leaving us to talk?” He tipped his head down toward you as he spoke, not really looking at the man he was instructing.

Aki hesitated slightly before looking at the pair of you and nodding, “Yes sir.”

You caught his eyes as he bowed and left, he looked a bit confused, but not nearly as much as he should have been. You liked Aki, he was an observant guy, but was failing to pick up on the subtext of the moment, the dramatic irony of it all was killing you.

“Shut the door behind you.” Kishibe added, still looking down at you.

The door clicked and Kishibe relaxed slightly, turning his gaze to your cluttered, busy desk. He plucked the coffee cup from the mess, the impression of your lipstick still clung to the lid.

“He bring you this?” he asked, turning it side to side in his hand, examining.

“Yes.”

Kishibe brought it to his mouth and took a long sip, humming as he set it back down, “Kid pays attention.”

You crossed your arms, “This attitude isn't helping you out of the dog house.”

“You kicked me out last night and then I found you in here sucking face less than ten hours later, and I'm not allowed to have a reaction to that?” He tutted.

“We were not sucking face,” you hated how whiney your voice was coming out, you felt so adolescent angry with this whole situation, you could barely take yourself seriously, “He brought me coffee and asked to see me tonight. Which is more than you ever do.”

Kishibe put his finger in your face, “That. That right there is what I don’t fucking like.”

“What?”

“I’m not competing with this kid for you. So don’t throw around gestures like points, I don’t want to be playing some stupid game for who you like best or who is falling out of your favor. I fucking knew it, you’re too analytical not to be keeping score.” he moved to the office door and locked it, looking briefly out the small window to see no one in the hall.

“I-I dont do that…”

You did do that. You could already hear your voice from last night quantifying their treatments of you and weighing them against one another. He was right, it wasn’t fair for you to make them unknowing adversaries.

“Yes you do. And when I tried to play into your little competition, you got all upset and kicked me out. So maybe I'm not the only one who needs to figure out what they want from this.” He sighed out taking a seat in the unoccupied desk’s chair across from you. “Are you seeing him tonight?”

You sat in your chair, collapsed more like, your head falling back against the headrest, “Yes. No. Maybe…I don’t know, Kishi.”

You took your hands and rubbed your temples, when had this all become so messy. Your eyes were closed but you heard Kishibe roll his chair over to you. His larger hands took over rubbing the sides of your head. The pressure of his fingers was perfect, you could smell the smoke from his cigarettes clinging to his clothes, you let out a sigh.

“I came in here to apologize for last night. I know I acted like an asshole. And I just acted like an asshole again. I don’t like seeing you with him, it makes me…jealous. He’s a good kid, probably better for you than I am.”

You opened your eyes to find him not looking right at you, but looking over the top of your head. He was confessing his feelings to the back wall of your office, instead of to you. You watched his mouth carefully as he spoke, his famous scar bending and tugging as the words left him.

“I don’t want to compete with him, because I don’t think I'll win.”

Your heart pulled hard, bringing your throat down with it. You reached for his face, your fingertips brushing his jaw and bringing his eyes back down to you.

“Kishi…” you were so moved by his vulnerability. You knew it didn't come naturally to him, he was a sensitive man but not one to show it freely.

He leaned into your touch slightly, removing his own hands from your head and placing them on the tops of your thighs. You stroked his thumb across his cheek, feeling the subtle texture of his skin under the pad. He took in a breath, trying to steady himself for his next admission. His usually rough and even voice was softer.

“I can’t stand in the way of what you want. It wouldn't be right. But you asked me what I wanted, and I want you. And if you want him too, I can accept that. I like what we have, I don’t want to ruin it by making you choose.”

You were shocked. You were delighted. You felt guilty. You felt elated. You were confused. All the feelings washed over you at once, he was offering you everything you had wanted. You could keep seeing him and keep seeing Aki, but you felt your heart tugging at his dark circled eyes. He hadn't slept last night, clearly agonizing over your fight, thinking about what he wanted and what you wanted. He was leaning over to meet your eye line, his hands still on your legs, waiting patiently for your response. You opened your mouth to answer him when there was a knock at the door. Kishibe retreated from you, pushing his chair back to the desk and standing up. You stood as well, walking to unlock the door. Kobeni stood outside, white knuckling her new freshly printed report.

“Sorry! I just need my…”She trailed off seeing Kishibe in the room, adjusting his coat, “Oh! Captain, hello.”

Her mind raced behind her frantic eyes as she realized she had just interrupted you and your kind of boyfriend, her own superior, alone in a locked office. Her skin went cold, heart pounding out of her chest.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn't.. I just want..I’ll go..” before you could stop her she had turned on her heels and raced down the hallway again.

You sighed against the doorframe, “I feel bad, this is her office too and I’m kind of treating it like a speed dating booth today.”

Kishibe chuckled behind you.

You turned to face him and took a few steps forward, “You’re sure?”

He nodded, “About you, I’m sure.”

You smiled, relief flooding your body, balming over the lingering frustration of last night. You stole a glance at the open door, seeing no one, you crossed toward him and wrapped your arms around his middle. He returned your hug, smoothing your hair.

“Can I see you this weekend? Make up for last night?” Your ear was pressed to his chest so his voice reverberated from there as he spoke.

You nodded into his shirt, his smell coaxing you into a calm that only he could. Kishibe brought one hand to your face, turning it up to look at him.

“Call me when you’re free. I’ll make the time.” He assured you before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours.

Feeling his lips again sent glitter down your bloodstream, sparkles of elation fueling your heart to race and your skin to warm. After a moment or two he pulled away, the soft sound of lips leaving each other filled the empty office for a single second. You released him and stepped back.

“Alright, Kid. I’ve been late to my next meeting this whole time, so I do have to go. But I’ll see you later.” He smirked on his scarred side and moved toward the door.

“See you.” You smiled watching him leave and sat back at your desk.

The satisfaction of getting exactly what you wanted shifted in your stomach, curdling slightly as you picked up Aki’s gifted coffee cup. You would see him tonight, should you tell him? He deserved to know what else was going on, but you may not be able to handle another fight about your sexual exploits.

What were you going to do?

Aki figured your meeting with the Captain couldn't have lasted more than the thirty or so minutes he had been gone. He wanted to finalize your plans for the night, he was thinking about what he should cook for you, if he had time between work and meeting you to run by the supermarket and take a shower. Running the potential schedule over and over in his mind while walking back toward your office he watched Kobeni run from the door just as she had when he arrived. Stalling his movements lightly, he approached carefully. He could hear your voice, but not make out the words quiet yet. Carrying on his steps were quiet as they neared the open office door. Slowly, he peeked his head in, just in time to see you wrap yourself around Kishibe, the taller man leaning down to kiss you. His breath caught as he watched you kiss him back. He stayed watching until Kishibe pulled away, those dark eyes flicking up to meet his own. He had seen him. The two men looked at one another for a moment, now both informed of exactly what had been going on. He watched as KIshibe’s hand moved over the back of your head, smoothing your hair, his lips curling into a small smile still eye locked with Aki. Hayakawa was the first one to break the exchange, turning and walking down the hallway, his hand brushing over his face and rushing into the mens room.

What the fuck. What the FUCK. What the fuck.

Millions of questions flooded Aki’s mind:

How long has this been going on? Why didn’t he say anything to you? Why haven't you told him? Had you told him and he just didn’t put it together? Why had Kishibe looked at him like that? And the most pressing question of all.

Why was he so fucking hard?

Part 2

[sitp-recs]

15 21 fics where Draco takes care of Harry

Happy Weekend folks! The last reclist for this self-indulgent HBD Harry celebration week brings the trope we all love and deserve: Harry being taken care of! Let 👏🏻 that 👏🏻 boy 👏🏻 be happy! I’m really soft for this trope because it delivers delicious character development and emotional payoff. Harry deserves all the nice things and I love seeing Draco willing to provide it, whether in the form of physical comfort, protection, shelter, medical care or just good old diq. I wanted to follow the previous lists format but ended up with 20 fics which means I left a bunch out (my first draft had around 30 🤡). As usual I tried to include both classics and hidden gems, and especially some that aren’t in the other lists. Enjoy!

Ceremonials by @jackvbriefs (NR, 4k)

“What are you doing here?” Harry said. This Malfoy blinked up at him, then lifted the bottle of tequila. “I’m teaching you how to make a drink.”

Is This Love? By @phdmama (E, 4k)

Draco wouldn’t call himself a tender man. He fights the forces of evil for a living, trying his best to pay penance for the evil he’s done. He’s fought and killed in the name of duty, and when he’s not on duty, he tends either to play hard or retreat alone. He doesn’t lean on anyone, and he knows he’s not the first person anyone goes to when they need care. Comfort. That all changes tonight.

It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman by lamerezouille (T, 6k)

Harry kisses Draco in a public place. All hell breaks loose.

Unseen by astolat (M, 11k)

When he wasn’t wearing it, he got jumpy, always waiting for someone to come at him wanting something—and now they did it even more urgently, if they ever saw him, because most of the time, nobody did.

Nice Things by aideomai (M, 22k)

The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.

Lusimeles by spqr (E, 23k)

“You’re not special, Potter,” Kingsley informs him, not looking up from his work. “But I’ve already done Occlumency training!” Harry splutters, indignant. “And it’s Malfoy.”

just tell me when it’s alright by M0stlyVoid (E, 23k)

Harry’s been fighting tooth and nail for any bit of normalcy he can get his hands on. He’s sick of feeling like something’s wrong with him, tired of feeling different. He thinks he’s finally gotten to the root of it, and has settled into a routine that makes him happy. Naturally, that’s when Draco Malfoy walks back into his life and upends it once again. Has Harry bitten off more than he can chew with his former rival?

The Green Vial by @eidheann (E, 31k)

After months of seeing Harry Potter walk into his Apothecary disappointed and hopeless, Draco offers to carry the baby that Harry can't. Now he's just got to hide the fact that he's been half in love with Harry for years.

Expecto Patronum by @writcraft (E, 35k)

Harry Potter is the most sought after celebrity in wizarding Britain. His every movement is scrutinised, his relationships questioned and his photographs plastered over every paper. Harry's used to everyone thinking he’s a hero and has had plenty of time to learn how to keep his biggest secrets hidden from the press. As Draco Malfoy negotiates his feelings for the wizarding world's brightest star, he becomes increasingly attached to Harry and unravels the secrets he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

(Un)wanted by @aibidil (E, 36k)

Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected.

Breathe In (and Feel No Hurt) by Constance1 (T, 38k)

A tale of love, loss, and of finding hope again. Or the story of how Draco turned into a house-cat in order to secretly bother a depressed Harry Potter until he was no longer feeling sorry for himself.

Chocolate and Pastry by agentmoppet, anemonen (E, 50k)

When Pansy bets Draco that there is no chance he and Harry could carry out a genuine romantic relationship, he and Harry form a plan. But as their fake relationship progresses, Draco sees a side of Harry he never expected. Harry is struggling with something, pushing it far down inside him where he doesn't have to acknowledge its existence. Draco starts to worry, and then he starts to care, and then... horribly... he starts to fall in love.

Sweeten to Taste by @saintgarbanzo and @babooshkart (E, 51k)

It starts with Draco's buckwheat crepes with honeyed oranges. Or maybe it starts with his porridge with toasted walnuts and homemade apple butter. Or perhaps it starts with the cinnamon buns Draco made from scratch with mascarpone icing. Harry just knows he's hungry for more.

Meet Me at Midnight by @the-starryknight (T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di (E, 93k)

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography.

A Thousand Beautiful Things by geoviki (M, 100k)

Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (E, 128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter. Hiding out with a taciturn Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be.

Any Instrument by @dictacontrion (E, 131k)

Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 (T, 300k)

Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness.

[pinkroseblooms]

Usahara Tobikichi in love with f!Reader headcanons (sfw and smutty)

(look at this official art by gaku kaze, why is he so cute/hot?!)

SFW:

Usahara is (to borrow a trope title) a Casanova Wannabe. He likes getting attention from women and wishes he could pull off the playboy persona; the idea of being irresistible to women is a nice daydream, especially considering he seems to be consistently overlooked in comparison to guys like Kumatani and Uramichi

Despite having dated before, relationships never quite seem to work out, whether it be due to Usahara's partners not wanting to stick around after realizing how tactless and irresponsible he is or Usahara stops putting in the effort to keep the relationship afloat. He’s not intentionally mean or careless, but truly good intentions can only make up so much for his flaws.

With all that in mind, Usahara wants a girlfriend; he would take being devoted to one woman over being admired by dozens any day of the week, even if he’s a touch embarrassed to admit it.

In comes you: Usahara thinks you’re cute and immediately tries to get your attention. He doesn’t have high hopes, but hey, it couldn’t hurt to put himself out there. It doesn't take long before Usahara starts going out of his way to talk to you, firing off jokes and one liners at any given time, basically making a fool of himself for a hint of a smile from you. In a short amount of time this casual attraction develops into not so casual, knee buckling, sweaty palms crush. Usahara's heart will shatter into a million pieces if you decide to reject him.

You’re so cute, patient and sweet, being with you just feels right. Every time Usahara sees you that throbbing ache in his chest only gets worse. You’re probably too good for him, he knows it, everyone around Usahara won't stop reminding him when he looks at you with goo goo eyes and insists today's the day: he's going to take that leap and make a move on you. Usahara feels like he hit the literal jackpot when you agreed to go out with him. 

When the two of you begin officially dating, it’s like a light switch clicks in Usahara’s head. Maybe because he’s older and (at least somewhat) wiser, but he’s making genuine efforts this time around to not repeat past mistakes.

When you bring up the issue of his spending habits or taking a joke too far, Usahara will listen and work with you to fix the issue. It’s important to him you know he’s taking this seriously. Usahara wants to have extra money to spoil his girl and the idea of saying something to hurt your feelings gnaws at him. He's determined to be the best boyfriend you've ever had or will have.

He tries so hard for you; Usahara honestly didn’t expect to get so attached. It makes him a bit more reflective, but also paranoid of messing up; he's always been his own worst enemy. For how easy going and chill Usahara comes off as, he's way more insecure than you might guess.

Expect clinging and being spammed with texts at any given moment, maybe a phone call or a silly picture. Now that he has an adorable girlfriend, Usahara jumps at any opportunity to do couple things, go on all the cute dates, call you pet names, buy matching charms for your keys/phones, feed each other, etc. But because he’s so eager and already fairly attached, it can be a bit...much:

“Babyyyy, I had a rough day! 😭 I need cuddles. I’m free after work, can you come over tonight? 😘"

"How's your day going? I wish I could skip work and see you..."

"I miss you xoxo ❤️” 

"Babe, did you get my message? Are you busy?”

“Is everything okay?”

“Hey...are you mad at me?😥"

“Sorry, didn’t mean to spam you.”

“So, should I get food omw home? What are you in the mood for?” "

Besides me lol"

"....babe? Did I do something wrong?”

“I’m sorry, did I forget our 3 week anniversary? Month anniversary?”

"I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

“Baby???”  

And you will get all of these messages over the course of an hour or so. Yes, Usahara does calm down eventually; granted, he'll still spam you with texts now and then even after he feels more secure in the relationship, but usually only when he's out drinking and he wishes he was with you instead.

Usahara keeps things from exes partially if they’re useful and there is a sentimental aspect to it for him; that being said, if it makes you uncomfortable, Usahara doesn’t hesitate to get rid of anything you don't want him to hold on to. You’re with him now, and besides, Usahara needs room for all the things of yours he plans to keep at his place from now on.

And now, for the spicy stuff (and a little smut):

Eager to please is an understatement. 

Seriously though, Usahara struggles to keep his hands to himself, particularly when it’s just you and him. He doesn’t want to come on too strong or too desperate, but he wants you.

He’ll probably try to just go with whatever you’re ready for but if it was up to Usahara, he would never have to use his hand again. Not when he has your soft, warm body to touch and explore.

You’ll definitely need to tell Usahara exactly what you want, because again, he has a hard time going on instinct or reading subtle cues. And honestly, he kind of likes being bossed around in bed.

When you ask him to pleasure you and he gets it right, Usahara gets off on your praise and satisfaction. He’s practically glowing when he first makes you cum and the first time he gets to feel it raw and dripping down his dick makes him almost climax inside you right then and there.

Usahara’s preferred positions are either you riding him while he sits up right and he loses his mind a little when you suck him off. He just can’t get over what you’re doing to him; extra points if you let him cum in your mouth or even just on your face or tits. It’s dirty and you look so beautiful, Usahara can hardly believe you’re real. 

Praise kink aside, Usahara also gets off on soft domination, edging (maybe because he’s so impatient), dirty talk, and costumes, Specifically seeing you with thigh highs and a mini skirt or a too big shirt, with or without panties. 

Talk about fucking like rabbits. Usahara has a high sex drive and would fuck you every day if he could, but he understands you might not always been in the mood. He’s actually happy to just kiss or cuddle, anything to feel you and be close. His favorite thing to do is strip down to nothing and lay over you, head on your chest and hugging you tight while he listens to your heart beat. He’ll still be horny but it can wait. 

“I can’t help it.” Usahara whines, only half teasing as he starts rubbing himself against you, silently begging you to touch him. You have no idea how fast you turn him into a needy mess just by stroking his hair or kissing his neck; he thrives on your attention, he wants to lose himself in you. 

When he’s especially pent up, Usahara acts pussy drunk, doubly so if he’s been putting off the orgasm. Once you finally let him fuck you, your arms around his neck and thighs squeezing his hips, Usahara could cry from how good you feel. He can't believe he gets to be with you like this, that you want him as badly as he needs you.

“So good so good so fucking good, I wanna fuck you all night, gonna cum so hard in your pussy baby. Can I go harder? Pleeeease?”

Drool is trailing down the corner of Usahara’s babbling mouth; he practically melts into your body, head resting in the crook of your neck and arms wrapped tight around you while he fucks you, barely pulling out of your gushing pussy with each sloppy thrust.

“I wanna cum, can I cum inside again? Sorry, I need it, need to fuck you. I can’t stop, fuck, fuck, oh fuck!” Usahara gasps, eyes blown wide as you squeeze around him, not even really meaning to; he hugs you tighter, nuzzling your neck, pressing soft kisses to the love bites he made earlier. It's all you can do to not go utterly limp and just allow him to use you like a living doll. Usahara pants, whines and whimpers like puppy as he mindlessly fucks into you, begging for you to hold him closer and spread your thighs wider. 

“So pretty, so good to me...I love it, love you," Usahara sobs and clings closer, cock is buried as deep as he can go while he rocks his hips. "Baby, I'm really gonna cum, gonna cum, please, wanna cum, I love you so much, baby, can I cum inside? Please? Just one more time, please, please, please!?”

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my December 2023 fic rec, organized by word count from longest to shortest. Enjoy!

Bitter Tangerine by purpledaisy / @daisyharry (119k)

Maybe it’s Niall, he reasons to calm his storming heart. Maybe he’s not actually gone for the holidays yet, maybe Harry got the dates confused. Slowly, he holds his breath and pushes the kitchen door open. The first thing he sees make him jump, a wooden spoon held out like a sword. Once his brain processes the sight in front of him, it’s less the sword that gets him than who is attached to the wooden spoon.

“Harry,” the swordsmen speaks before Harry can, his voice low and steady though confusion laces each word.

Harry’s breath catches. Every string around his heart, all the protection he spent nine months building, rips out and tears open all at once as he says, “Hi Louis.”

-

AU: Nine months after they break up, a twist of fate brings Harry and Louis back together at Christmas.

Summer’s In the Air and Baby, Heaven’s In Your Eyesby starryhaze / @starryhaze28 (71k)

“So we probably shouldn’t do this.” Louis says, and Harry knows he means staying like this, wrapped up in each other, and he nods, then lifts his head from Louis’ shoulder. His eyes are focused on the ground while he tries to will the tears away.

“We shouldn’t. I’m sorry Lou it’s just-“

“Hey it’s fine, baby.” Louis promises, gently rubbing this thumb over Harry’s cheek. Harry leans into the touch and blinks up at Louis.

“Not your fault.” Louis says, looking around before he presses his lips against Harry’s in a short but sweet kiss. “You’re like my dirty little secret now.” He grins wickedly and gives a wink, making Harry blush and bite his lip as he steps away.

⋆ .ೃ ࿔ *: ･

or a 70s tennis au filled with skirts, pet names and intrigue

Bring It Back That Old Feeling by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings (57k)

After six years together, Harry thought there wasn’t anything that he didn’t know about his husband, and no problem they couldn’t solve with a kiss and a snuggle. After a painful year of booze and heartache, he realizes some problems are much harder to fix, but the wait is always worth it.

Little Wings on My Shoes by juliusschmidt / @juliusschmidt (39k)

You have C Lunch?” Louis asks, peering over at Harry's work. The problem Harry’s just finished is printed neatly, the correct answer circled. Harry’s finger marks the next problem in his book as he copies it onto the page. It doesn’t look like he’s stealing the answers out of the back. Nice. 

He’s dimpled and smart. 

And probably gay. [The American High School AU in which no one is cool (except Niall) and Harry wears a rainbow bracelet.]

Playing To Win by  jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom (36k)

Big Brother UK alumni Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are selected for the UK vs Australia All Stars series with a massive one million dollar prize in the offing. They’re both fit and smart and would make a great alliance... if only they can stop their feelings from getting in the way.

OR the one where Louis really doesn’t want to like Harry, Harry is struggling to quell his growing fondness for Louis, but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t fight fate.

Big, Bright World by RealName (35k)

It really was just a little crush in the beginning, nothing to be worried about. Louis had never really liked anyone he’d worked with in the past, but he was sure he could control himself. Little did he know that over time his ‘little crush’ would develop into a blazing inferno of Hell-fire proportions. Every day, Louis’ feelings became more intense, more immediate, each little smile and gesture and silly flirtation mounting up into something palpable, with a life of its own. Louis felt it every moment they were together.

The only problem? Harry was engaged to someone else and had been from the moment Louis started working at Visionary.

Office AU (not based on the TV show).

Our Little Corner of the World by brownheadedstranger (29k)

AU. Louis is stuck in his mom’s diner for the summer. Harry is the line cook with a pickup truck.

Woke Up With a Boy (Who Looks Just Like You) by glitteredcurls / @kissyboystyles (26k)

Harry goes to sleep in his shared flat with Louis. He wakes up older and sharing something more with his best friend-- a bed. Harry doesn’t know where the past four years of his life have gone. There is quite a bit he’s forgotten, but still would have never guessed for himself. The only thing familiar is Louis, who seems to mean something different to him at his new age than he did before… Harry just can’t seem to place how.

OR snapshots of the week Louis and Harry jump four years into their (unknowingly married) future suddenly and have to gather their bearings without alerting anyone else.

Lapful Of Lou by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal (2k)

Harry sighed, snuggling into his pillow. “You’re the best boyfriend.” He said, and then his eyes shot open. “I mean— you would be the best boyfriend.” His eyes flickered to Louis’ face, who was standing beside the bed, with a smirk on his face. “Not— not like my boyfriend. I mean— like. I wouldn’t mind if you were my— no.” He pressed his lips together to stop anymore words from barreling out. His face was flaming. And Louis was standing there, arms crossed over his chest, like he was waiting for Harry to finish.

“You done?” He asked with a little bubble of laughter.

Harry grimaced, “Just leave me here to die.”

Or they are both idiots and it takes a drunk Harry (with no brain to mouth filter) to get things going.