#meanwhile minors are sexualizing themselves

[nevermeyers]

Why are crime accounts on tiktok so easily blocked by the app 🪦🪦 it's unfair

[lazyjellyfish300]

Gentleman part 3 🌼💌

Geneticist CEO!Miguel O'Hara x Fem Intern College Student!Reader

Synopsis: your relationship with your new sugar daddy progresses, but meanwhile your jealous sorority members plot against you. Word count 5.5k

A/N: so I know at first the idea was to make this a situationship to lovers but I actually completely forgot about that lol so I'm just rolling with whatever this is that this has turned into. 🫶🏽🖤 This art by blahhberry on insta is Dr. O'Hara's face claim if you wanna see. ;)

TW: MINORS DNI, SUGGESTIVE, MASTURBATION ALLUDED TO BUT NO EXPLICIT SMUT YET (NEXT CHAPTER HEHE), SOME ANGST, LONELINESS, BULLYING, SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ASSAULT (A GUY NEARLY GROPES YOU AND YOU GET PEER PRESSURED), BAD DRUNKEN BEHAVIOR, YOUR ROOMMATES SHOW THE WORST SIDES OF THEMSELVES, IT MIGHT BE KINDA TOUGH TO READ, TAKE CARE WITH THIS ONE IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE❤️ SUGAR DADDY RELATIONSHIP, (BOSS/EMPLOYEE) don't condone this IRL, maybe OOC Miguel, age gap (reader is somewhere around 24-27, Miguel is mid-late 30s), mild violence

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

-------

Once you got back to your dorm, you ran upstairs to your room, kicking off your shoes. You fixed your hair and held your bouquet, angling your phone for the best lighting and took a selfie, sending it to Miguel along with a quick text: 

You: Thanks for the flowers. ❤️💐 You made my whole day! 

A couple minutes later: 

M❤️: You're very welcome. You look so beautiful. I hope you had a good day. 

You: Thank you❤️❤️I did, a lot better thanks to you. 🥰

M❤️: I'm so glad. 

You sat there, trying to think of what to say next. 

You: So, when can I see you again? :)

M❤️: Well, my flight gets in Friday afternoon, however I will most likely spend the rest of the day with my daughter and my mother. Would Saturday work for you? 

You smiled and texted back: 

You: Saturday works perfectly! What did you have in mind? 

Miguel smiled from his high up hotel room in Chicago, looking out the window and thinking for a moment, then typing back. 

M❤️: How does going to the Hamptons sound? There's a waterfront restaurant that serves some of the best food on the East coast, and the views are lovely this time of year. 

You smiled widely at this, appreciating that he came up with an actual date idea that sounded incredible and not just defaulting to whatever you wanted. 

You: That sounds incredible! I'd love that. ☺️ Thank you so much. ❤️❤️

M❤️: You're welcome. Have you ever been to the Hamptons before? 

You: I haven't, no. 

M❤️: I will have Noir take you shopping this week. 

A ding went off on your phone, and your mouth fell open. $500 was just sent to one of your money apps from Miguel. 

M❤️: Use that wisely to pick out an outfit, or a few.  You'll want to dress semi-warm, as it can get a little chilly in the evenings. But we'll only go for the day. I'll have you home at a reasonable hour so you can rest. 

You just had to shake your head and bite your lip. This truly was the best thing ever. 

You: You are seriously so sweet...thank you. ❤️Really, you didn't have to do that. 

Miguel smiles, laying back on his hotel bed with a hand behind his head as he texts you back. You're so humble, it's adorable. 

M❤️: You're very welcome. But, I insist. You deserve it for all your hard work and for what you've had to deal with lately. I hope it gives you a little something to look forward to this week. ❤️ 

You can't help but kick your feet at his message. 

You: I sure do, I'll be counting down the days. ❤️ 

Miguel stood up, a little smirk playing on his lips. Man, it felt good to have a special lady in his life again. But, he had more business to get to first. And he knew he couldn't rush this. He did have hopes that this would become something more serious than just a sugar relationship. 

Still, he had to ride that fine line between building something longer lasting, without creating friction between you both at his hang-up when it came to the institution of marriage. That almost always ended up being the reliable nail in the coffin for his previous flames. But that was a future problem to worry about. 

M❤️: What are your plans this evening? 

You sat up, chewing your lip at the sight of your backpack, knowing you should probably get a head start on the ample workload you were issued by your microbiology and health science professors. 

You: Just homework for the most part. 😮‍💨 I have soo much this week. 

M❤️: I'm sorry to hear that, cariño. The sooner you get to it, the sooner you can rest. ❤️

Your heart fluttered a little. 

You: Miguel, what does cariño mean? 

M❤️: It's a term of endearment, such as sweetheart or dear. Is it alright if I call you that? 

You bite your lip and feel a heat in your cheeks coming on. 

You: Absolutely, I love it when you do. It makes me feel special.❤️ 

M❤️: You should feel special, cariño. Because you are, very special to me... ❤️ Did you eat dinner? 

A grumble in your stomach answered his question for you. 

You: No, haha... Not yet. 

Miguel pauses, dialing Noir while he stands up, crossing the room, trying to secure a pair of cufflinks onto his dress shirt as he reaches for his suit coat that's hanging from the coat rack by a large TV. 

After he hangs up, he texts you again while checking his reflection before he leaves. 

M❤️: Noir is bringing you dinner. Please text him and let him know what you'd like as soon as you can, okay? I will also have him grab groceries for you tomorrow. Be sure to also send him a list of things you need when you get the chance. 

Your heart swells with gratitude and your mouth waters as you envision your favorite pizza from your favorite local joint which sounds perfect right about now. This might have been the most you ate in weeks, as a matter of fact, all thanks to this angel of a man. 

You: Thank you sooo sooo much Miguel 😭❤️

M❤️: You're very welcome, cariño, just want to make sure my girl doesn't go hungry. ❤️ I have to go to a business dinner right now, so I won't be able to answer any texts until later. When you're done with your studies, give me a call? 

You: Okay, I will. ❤️ 

M❤️: Good. ❤️ Talk to you soon.  

----- 

Noir was on your doorstep a short time later with your pipping hot, favorite pizza, a side order of some gooey, cheesy garlic breadsticks, a side salad, a huge bottled water to keep you hydrated, a brand new luxurious fluffy blanket in your favorite color, matching fuzzy socks with your initials, a pumpkin vanilla scented candle, and fancy moisturizer that wouldn't irritate your skin. 

"Here you are, madam. The doctor wanted to throw these in as well, since it gets drafty up here in the dorms, and since you deserved a little something to pamper yourself." 

"Oh my God, thank you sooo much, Noir!!" you gushed. 

Noir noticed the snide looks coming from your bitter roommates as he handed you your food and presents, but he decided not to say anything about it right now. "Can I get you anything else tonight?" 

"Oh, no, no, that's okay Noir...thank you, you're the best." 

"Course, it's my absolute pleasure to serve you ma'am. The doctor has totally changed my life and given me everything I could ask for, so working for him and making sure his woman is taken care of is the least I can do to pay him back." Noir says with a bow. He tips the brim of his black fedora.

"Enjoy, madam. I'll be here for you at 7:30 am tomorrow morning, be sure to write up your grocery list, too, you hear?" 

You nod and smile and thank him enthusiastically again, walking quickly back upstairs to your room, trying to ignore the hateful stares of your bitter roommates. 

------

Heather shakes her head as she waits for her lean cuisine to finish heating in the microwave. "Y'all, I do not fucking get it. At all." 

"Me neither," Vivian scoffs, taking a bite of her salad at the table next to Isla. 

"I give it a month, tops." Heather replies, opening the microwave. 

Isla is staring off when an idea comes to her. "Why wait a month?" 

"Huh?" The other two look at her with curious stares. 

"Seriously, do we really wanna let this get worse than it already has?" Isla asks. 

The other two shake their heads, remembering all the extra labs they had to do that Dr. O'Hara issued them, no doubt as punishment for messing with his woman. 

"She's gotta go." Vivian agrees. 

"But how?" Heather asks. "She's literally fucking the boss. He's not gonna break up with her so easily..." 

Isla smirks. "But the university might if she makes a fool of herself at the football game." 

----

As you worked on your homework, you looked at your closed door at the sound of your roommates laughing hysterically behind it, half slightly peeved by the loud noises while you were trying to work, half feeling that nagging loneliness you felt in your heart. 

The truth was, even though the trio drove you nuts and could be quite mean, you don't know why, but you still cared about their approval. All you wanted was peace between you four while you shared the space. Deep down, you felt left out and sad at their exclusion of you. You knew you could be quiet and awkward, at times, but you missed having girlfriends.

Getting ready to go out on Friday nights, doing your makeup while crowded around a smudged mirror in your jammies while one of the girls played music on their phones, talking excitedly about the night ahead and complaining about the boys you were talking to. Sharing clothes, studying together, slumber parties, talking about things that would be considered TMI with anyone else. Girlhood. 

You just wanted to belong. Just wanted someone to talk to and have your back. Sure, you had Miguel now, but you needed space for friends too. You were starting to get worried at how much you craved the sound of his voice and his company. How much you started to rely on him mentally and emotionally. You knew he was a busy man and he could only be there for you so much. 

Suddenly you're a little girl again on the playground during recess, wondering why nobody wanted to be your friend. Wondering why you weren't interesting enough or why you were so weird that you couldn't make people stay. 

You felt a lump build up in your throat as you tried to work in the darkness of your room while they laughed together outside, holding back tears. 

---

A quiet knock comes at your door and you clear your throat, trying to dry your eyes. "C-come in!" 

The trio enters your room. Isla's eyes land momentarily on the new bouquet of flowers sitting on your desk but move quickly back to you. "Hey girl." 

The other two sit on your bed. 

"Are you crying?" Heather asks in a concerned tone. 

"N-No..." You sniffle. 

"Aw, girl..." Vivian pouts, putting a soft hand on your shoulder. 

Your lip trembles as you try to fight off your tears unsuccessfully. 

"Hey, we were hard on you, and we wanna apologize." Isla says, plopping down on your bed, the others hum in agreement. 

"Come to the football game with us tomorrow night!" Vivian says, piping up. "It'll be fun." 

"Yeah we can start over, have some girl time. A couple of our guy friends are coming too! It'll be chill. And we're getting milkshakes afterwards at  Caddy's diner like we always do."  Heather says with a smile. 

"Please?" Isla asks, giving you a grin. "Whaddya say?" 

"O-o-okay..." You manage a weak smile. "Thank you guys...I, I don't want us to fight either, *sniff* and I'm so sorry if rubbed any of you the wrong way about anything or offended you." 

"Of course not!" Isla says with a wave of her hand. "Seriously, I mean, look, if you're dating Dr. O'Hara, good for you. Get that bag girl." She utters the last sentence with some difficulty, but her tone remains light and friendly, you don't notice. She flashes her lovely smile at you. "We'll get ready in Vivian's room around 4, then we gotta be ready to leave by 6." 

"I have a really really cute shirt you can wear!" Heather offers. 

"Um, who's all coming?" You ask, sitting up. 

"It's us, you, then Heather's boyfriend Chase, and Chase's friends: Jaden, Alex, and I think his name is Will? Yeah, Will." Vivian says with a smirk.

"He's so hot..." Isla says biting her lip. 

"Girl, he is your ex's cousin, sit down!" Heather throws a pillow at Isla. 

"Oh my goddd let me liveee, dammit!" Isla giggles throwing it back, the pillow hitting you in the face on accident. "Oops! My bad girl I'm so sorry!" Isla pulls you into a hug, catching you off guard as Sexy Angel perfume from Victoria's Secret assaults your nostrils as she hugs you. 

"Okay, anyway, see you tomorrow girl. Remember, 4pm, my room!" Vivian points at you as she follows Heather and Isla out, shutting the door behind her. 

You feel a little uneasy but you feel the most hope you've felt in weeks after all the tension. Finally, maybe you could be chill with your roommates, and even make some new friends. 

------

Miguel waves his room key in front of his lavish hotel room door, entering it with a sigh as he loosens his tie. He smiles widely at the incoming call from you on his phone. 

"Hey," he says with a smile. You can hear the warmness in his voice from over the phone, the sound alone causing you to feel tingles all throughout your body. 

"Hi, Miguel." You say with a smile, laying back on your pillow. 

"How was your day, did you get all your work done?" 

"Yee-up." You say, popping the "p" at the end of your sentence. 

"Good girl." 

Oh God, that was hot. 

"How was your day, Miguel?" You ask him, trying to keep the conversation flowing and give you something to focus on other than his tantalizing voice. 

"My day wasn't bad." He admits. He starts to unbutton his shirt, putting the phone on speaker.

"Just had a productive chat with a few stakeholders about some investments. I admit, I'm not one for social events." He chuckles. 

The corner of your mouth twitches. "Haha, me neither. Guess we have that in common." 

"Guess we do." Miguel agrees with a hum. 

You smile, fiddling with one of your hoodie strings as you continue to talk to him, "Well, the trio invited me to a football game tomorrow night." 

"Oh?" Miguel slips out of his pants and lies down in bed with a small grunt of relief. "I thought you four didn't get along?" 

"I thought we didn't either." You admit. "But they apologized and invited me. They admitted they don't mind my relationship with you and wanted to start over fresh." 

Miguel nods slowly, feeling a little suspicious about this. He's seen how ugly people can be to one another, particularly if the nasty feeling of jealousy is involved, taking nothing off the table of the lengths someone would go to get what they wanted. 

"Just, be careful, cariño. I don't want to see you hurt. If they treat you poorly again, you're to tell me immediately, understood?" 

"I'll be okay, promise." You try and reassure him, but Miguel doesn't feel too convinced.  

"I trust you. I'm just not sure I trust them." He tells you gently. "You deserve good friends who are supportive and lift you up, not tear you down." His eyes fill with compassion as he speaks to you on the phone, a little astounded at how you manage to tug at his heart strings even hundreds of miles away, a feeling of needing to protect you and make sure you were safe, even if he couldn't physically be there. 

"Would you let me have Noir drive you? You're welcome to invite your friends to ride with. I'll just feel much better about it if he's there to keep an eye on things." 

You hesitate, but think about it. This might be a good way to get on the trio's good side, if you can let them into your new world of luxury a little bit. It kind of felt wrong to use Dr. O'Hara's wealth to win the favor of your roommates. But he was offering, and you'd do anything to improve your living situation at this point. 

"Okay...yeah, that works." You answer. "I'll tell them he can drop us off and pick us up. Thank you, Miguel." 

"You're welcome," Miguel says quietly with a smile. "Have fun tomorrow, and be safe okay? Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself." 

"I will, I will." You say with a smile, brushing him off. 

There's silence on the other line for some time before Miguel speaks again. 

"Well, I wanted to talk some more tonight, because there's still a lot that I don't know about you yet." 

You sit up a little in bed, "Y-yeah, of course...ask away." 

He asks a few questions about your family and your childhood and you answer them honestly, finding yourself turning into an open book as you give him your life story, telling him all about your parents and siblings, your theories about why your upbringing may have effected your personality and so on. 

And he listens quietly and intently, all of his attention undivided and owned by you completely in this moment. A small feeling endears himself closer and closer to you with every word you speak. You're so enriched with everything you have to say. You're insightful and intelligent and interesting. You doubt yourself. You're a pure soul who seems to feel lonely sometimes like he does, empathizing for how difficult it can be to relate to others and how the weight of becoming an adult and trying to support yourself through school was much more staggering than you expected. 

You're a selfless, kind woman who would even give away the last of what she had to a man like him who had the world at his disposal, reaffirming that his choice to make you his was a resoundingly wise one. 

A match between you two that was even more well suited for one another than he anticipated. Nevermind the difference in your ages, nevermind that you were originally an employee. There's something special here that he underestimated. It's jarring and it's refreshing. 

It's eerily perfect, even causing himself to re-evaluate his wishes from the beginning to not even think about brushing shoulders with the question of matrimony. He's dizzy with all of these sudden epiphanies he's experiencing within just a hour or two of talking to you on the phone. Then, you say something that causes you to laugh loudly. 

Miguel feels a warm feeling in his body at the sound of your laugh. It's infectious and hearty. And he'd be lying if he said the dimming lights of the city outside his hotel room and the sound of your voice weren't making him feel...a little needy by this point. 

What, with how physically attracted he already found himself to you in the beginning, now you've revealed the contents of your soul to him and in turn demonstrated you're nothing like anyone else he's been involved with in the past. It was too easy not to find himself agonizingly tempted by simple desires. He's only a man. 

"What are you up to this evening, my dear?" He asks in that rich voice of his. 

"Just laying in bed..." You say, stifling a yawn. 

Miguel hums. You bite your lip. Something about his voice had you missing him. You just poured out your heart to him, pulling yourself closer and closer to him with every layer of yourself that you stripped away and revealed to him. You find yourself comfortable with him, desiring him more than you already had, maybe even letting you toy with the idea of putting a more intimate physical relationship back on the table, knowing that Dr. O'Hara was the kind of honorable man he was. You'd love to give yourself to someone like him. 

The sun was well below the horizon at this point, the darkness going straight to your head and traveling in a more sensual, suggestive direction. 

"...and missing you..." You add with a little smirk. 

"Mmm..." Miguel sighs. 

Oh boy.

"Yo tambien te extraño..." (I missed you too) His voice is dripping with something suggestive, almost sly. 

"What does that mean?" You ask breathlessly, playing with your necklace pendant. 

Miguel smiles. "Means I've missed you too..." 

"Yeah?" 

"Mhmm...." 

"Mmm..." 

"You teasing me, cariño?" 

"Teasing you?" You bite your lip. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Careful..." 

"What?" 

"Heh...well..." Miguel looks around, despite being the only soul in his hotel room. "You're making me feel a certain way." 

"Like what?" You bat your eyes innocently. 

"Don't play coy." Miguel says firmly. "Like..." he sighs. "You're making me feel like I want to break those damn rules in the contract." 

You relax your shoulders and exhale deeply out, the ache between your legs only growing more and more demanding. You really wanted it to continue, "I don't mind..." 

"I'm serious, cariño." Miguel warns. "I'm not going against any boundaries we set together. Not unless you're completely sure..." 

"I'm sure..." You whisper quietly to him, a faint groan rolling off your tongue as you draw out the last syllable. 

"Ay por Dios..." (Oh my God) Miguel chuckles, turning red and biting his lip, hundreds of miles away. "Are you trying to kill me, sweetheart?" 

"Maybe..." You tease, enjoying this effect you're having on him. 

"Not tonight, baby..." Miguel says gently. "Not tonight..." 

"Miguel..." You whine, your body still hungry, begging for some form of release, your desire hanging untapped, parched for his loving attention, the low timbre of his voice driving you mad. 

"I wish you were here with me..." 

"Oh cariño..." he groans, unable to disguise his mutual craving. "I wanna be there too..." He slowly licks his full lips. "I'll make it up to you, baby."

"Yeah?" You whisper. 

"I swear." He promises you. "It needs to be special and perfect the next time we're together. We'll take our time but I won't hold back as long as you're completely comfortable and okay with it." 

You giggle, biting your cheek and clenching at the thought. "I definitely am..."

 

"Beautiful..." He murmurs. "You've given me something else to look forward to all week." 

"I don't think I can wait that long..." You say breathlessly. 

"I don't think I can either." Miguel admits, letting out a chuckle of his own. "Oh....the things you do to me. You've no idea... Get some sleep now, yeah?" 

As soon as you hung up you both fucked yourselves to oblivion in your separate beds, minds completely drunk with only thoughts of the other hundreds of miles away. 

-----

You're all smiles as Noir picks you up the next day, barely able to function during work, only thinking about Miguel and the fun night you have planned with your girlfriends at the college football game as you sip your large iced coffee and munch on your heated pastry Noir bought you that morning, courtesy of Miguel's Platinum American Express. 

Your heart does flip flops when you find your newest surprise from him in the backseat of the car after work: a Pandora bag with shimmery tissue paper and a lavender bow, eyes widening when you pull out a gorgeous white gold charm bracelet, complete with a crystal heart dangling from it with a note from Miguel. 

 

Can't let those boys at the football game think that you're not taken. ❤️ Be safe tonight, and I'll see you very soon. Thank you for being so open with me last night. I love where this is going. Call me later. 

You haven't left my mind once since the day I met you. 

Love, Miguel

------

"Nuh uh!!! No freaking way!!" Heather, Vivian, and Isla squeal as they run towards the Mercedes, hand in hand while Noir held the door open for them with a humble smile. 

"I always wanted to ride in a G wagon..." Heather's eyes dart around the interior, feeling the leather seats as though she needed to physically touch them to believe they were real. 

"Ladies." Noir says as he comes to the door, holding a box of large, gourmet cookies nearly as big as your hand with frosting that matched your college's spirit colors, along with elegant glass bottles of sparkling lemonade. "A little game day treat for you from the doctor." 

Your face erupted into a grateful smile as your friends gushed and raved about the snacks, relishing the bite of the warm chocolate chip cookie that practically melted in your mouth and the refreshing lemonade that left a little fizz behind on your tongue. Miguel was so damn thoughtful. 

Once you arrive at the game, Noir helps all of you out of the car. "Anything else you need, miss?" Noir asks you as he shuts the door. 

"Um, no, I should be good. Thanks Noir!" 

"You're welcome. I'll be waiting out front for your entourage when the game is over. Have a good time, miss. Call me if you need anything." 

You smile and turn, jogging to catch up to the others. Noir nods and drives off, parking the car only a short distance away in Miguel's designated VIP parking spot in the front row of the stadium parking lot, hanging a special tag in the window. 

Noir gets out, pulling his collar of his trench coat little higher up on his neck in a semi-incognito fashion. You don't know he'll be watching you, and he feels a little bad about that, but, at the same time, he can't say no to the boss. He had good reason to keep an eye on you anyway. Your friends seemed too good to be true, and he had kind of a bad feeling about tonight, their jealousy at not being chosen by Dr. O'Hara rendering them blind. 

As you find your seats, you're sat in between Isla and Will, a friend of Heather's boyfriend, Chase. Will is tall and muscular, a lacrosse player according to Isla. His green eyes lock onto you immediately, a fact not gone unnoticed to Isla's dismay and simmering jealousy. First Dr. O'Hara and now Will? What on Earth was so special about you? 

Will keeps trying to make small talk with you. You try to discourage him with one word answers but he doesn't seem to get the hint, wrapping his jacket around your shoulders when he notices you shivering with the dropping temperature in the stadium. You immediately thought of Miguel but you were utterly freezing, so you decided to accept the gesture for now, praying that he'd take it as platonic. 

Isla seeths quietly when she watches him give you his jacket. Time to put her idea into motion. 

"Hey!" She smacks Heather who's getting handsy with Chase on the other side of her, handing her a bottle of vodka. You feel your blood run cold. There were strict no alcohol rules in the college stadium. The consequences ranged from ejection from the game to as severe as possession charges, intoxication, or even explusion from the university. 

Heather giggles and takes the bottle, looking around and taking a generous shot before passing it to Chase, who passes it to Vivian and the other two guys before it travels back to Isla. She takes a shot, throwing her head back and wincing as she hands you the bottle. 

"N-No thanks." You push the bottle back towards here. 

"Dude," she hisses. "Come on, don't be a little bitch." 

Will interrupts, taking the bottle from her and taking a shot, shooting you a playful wink. "Don't be shy." 

You feel your cheeks get warm under his gaze, Miguel's face coming to your mind again and immediately shaking your head. "No...no thank you." 

"C'mon." Will smirks. "Cute girl like you doesn't like to have some fun?" 

Isla's face is boiling but it melts into a cheesy grin when you turn back to face her. "Right? She's just  adorable huh? Little goody two shoes we like to call her." She elbows you playfully. 

You're getting quite uncomfortable at this point, your eyes searching nervously all around the stadium, trying to make sure nobody around was catching wind of what your group was doing. 

"We all took a shot, now you have to!" Vivian leans over, shaking your knee. She starts chanting your name in a sort of taunt. The guys quickly hopping on the band wagon, hooting and egging you on. 

You're a nervous wreck, just wanting them all to shut up before all of you get kicked out of the university for good, starting to shiver nervously as a couple people nearby you turn around to see what all the commotion was. 

"OKAY!" you snatch the bottle from Isla, bending over and sliding off your seat, taking a quick shot with your head down. You wince and cough uncontrollably as your erratic movements caused some of the alcohol to go down the wrong pipe, wheezing for a moment as the liquor stings and burns down your throat and lungs.

"There ya go, good job." Will pats your back and offers you a sip of his soda to chase it down. You grab it from him, taking several generous gulps without thinking, nearly sputtering again when you discover it's not just soda, but a really strong mixed drink. 

Oh no. 

Will smirks. "Well damn, girl. Slow down." 

You feel your eyes watering up, starting to stumble a little. You hardly drank, so you had absolutely no tolerance, the alcohol flowing and dragging you down like dead weight in the water, a fuzzy feeling in your veins and the outside starting to get real shifty. 

You can't make out much of what's going on around you but it sounds like Isla and the girls are taunting you again and making jokes at your expense, trying to dare you to flash your tits to the guys.

 "C'mon girl, no balls you won't do it!" Heather and Vivian taunt, the guys around you looking at you like fresh meat.

You're utterly sick and confused and drunk, wanting nothing but Miguel to come in and sweep you away from this madness. Confused why your supposed friends were throwing you on display like some sort of sick circus act, expecting you to act like a slut just to appease their disgusting guy friends. 

"S-stop..." You slur, falling backwards as Isla grabs at the hem of your shirt, trying to lift it up. 

"Don't worry, I got you." Will mumbles. You stare up at him in horror and cringe as you smell the strong stench of alcohol on his breath as he's practically putting you in a headlock, one of his hands tries to grope your clothed breasts. 

"N-No!" You whine.."Please!" 

Will is suddenly yanked backwards. Noir flips him so Will is facing him before he utterly decks him in the nose, Will letting out an inhuman noise as he falls to the ground. Noir looks at him like he's scum on the bottom of his shoe before landing a nice kick into the middle of his stomach. Will lets out a large grunt, wheezing pathetically on the stadium floor. 

By now, everyone's looking at you. You're disheveled and terrified with your clothes askew. Noir wraps you in his arms, scooping you up like you weigh nothing.

"You alright, doll face?" His eyes search you with worry. 

You don't answer, just whimper with a trembling lip, shaking your head no as you hang your head in shame, resting your forehead against his chest as you shudder with a sob. 

Noir shoots a glare at your group of so called friends. "You will be dealt with accordingly," He threatens with a growl before getting you out of there.  

The stadium police come swarming, ignoring Noir because they recognize him as one of the assistants of the most powerful man in Nueva York (and the university's top donor). They surround the group, pulling the girls out of their seats and putting Will in handcuffs before ejecting the rest of them from the game. 

-----

Noir tucks you in the backseat of the Mercedes, giving a soft pat to your hair and several murmured apologies as he speeds quickly away. He dials Miguel, and you can hear Miguel's enraged voice booming through the speakers. 

"Bring her to the estate immediately. I'll meet you there." 

"Yes boss." 

"I need the first and last names of EVERYONE involved in this fucking mess." 

"Y-yes boss. Don't worry. Campus police are aware and they're handling it as we speak." 

"Not good enough!" Miguel hisses. I will be handling this now." 

"Yes, doctor, understood." 

"Get her to me safely, Noir." 

"I will, doctor." 

"Thank you." 

Noir hangs up, taking a deep breath.

Those people picked the wrong man to fuck with this time. Miguel would make them pay for what they did to you. 

"I feel sick..." you groan. 

"Hold on, madam....it's alright, we're almost there." Noir eyes the speedometer as it's pushing 110 miles per hour, the countryside zipping past the windows in what seems like mere light seconds. 

You whimper and hold your head in your hands, trying so hard not to vomit as Noir drives furiously towards Miguel's mansion in the countryside. 

----

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[menderash]

hi, happy halloween. last night, israel bombed a refugee camp. over 500 innocent refugees were killed in one night by israel. even more are missing under the rubble. i saw a boy kneeling over the charred body of a male relative, screaming hard over and over again in horror and grief while other survivors try to pull him away from the body to safety.

in another video, we see a man run around the rubble screaming 'my family, my family,' screaming their names at the top of his lungs to no response. he is seen frantically checking the faces of the many dead bodies scattered around the refugee camp. in a brief close up, his eyes are full of tears.

there are several videos of adults holding the crushed remains of their children after being pulled from the rubble, i can't post them all, especially censored for tumblr. here is a girl who was lucky to survive. she screams in fear, pounding her fist against her male relatives back.

why did the israeli military might rain down on a camp full of refugees and children? because they heard a rumor that there may have been a single hamas leader in the area. 500 dead. children's bodies mutilated beyond recognition. based on a rumor. right.

meanwhile, OUTSIDE of the gaza area where there is zero hamas activity, where IOF troops are on foot, they are currently kidnapping civilian men and boys from their homes, tying them up, stripping them, kicking their faces and spitting on them, then torturing them. to my knowledge, there is no reason being given for this, especially since there are no. hamas. there. i have seen a video i can't post of a palestinian civilian having his genitals mutilated while he's still alive.

in this video, bound and blindfolded palestinian civilians, some minors, are thrown onto a pile of others naked bodies. some are moaning, but others are still, hopefully just beaten unconscious but it's impossible to tell. one of the men or boys is moaning 'i can't bear it, please, i can't bear it' over and over.

the man in the front has his tied hands in front of his face. the IOF soldier filming kicks the helpless man in the face, then SPITS on him. another soldier grabs the man by his feet and violently drags him out of view as he screams in terror. these are civilians, not hamas. these are civilians and some of them are just teenage children.

this all happened either last night or this morning, of halloween in the west. this is still happening. the man in pink is either still searching for his family at this very moment, or crying over their remains. the children with their skulls crushed and their swollen brains leaking out are being kissed goodbye by their mothers right now as i type. the boy who was screaming, clinging to a corpse is currently digging more corpses out of the rubble. the bound men outside of gaza are being sexually tortured right now. i don't believe all the bound men in the above screenshots are still alive. i genuinely hope for their sake they've passed before the IOF can torture them further.

500 innocent lives mercilessly slaughtered in one night. Even more missing. Thousands more who have to live with the unimaginable trauma inflicted on them for the crime of being born arab in the wrong place. and just the night before, safe and wealthy israeli settlers partying and singing songs about killing all arabs and making tiktoks of themselves in racist caricature. happy halloween.

all of these videos are from shaun king on instagram. he has given his account to palestinian journalists. all these videos are posted in real time, as they happen. please look at his page and share as many as you can, even the disturbing ones. especially the disturbing ones. do not look away from their suffering at the hands of the fascist hyper right illegal aparthied settler state of israel. down with colonizers.

[chrollohearttags]

𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖇: 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊

synopsis: many moves are being made for the talent of AMG and two fourths of the Dead Boys Society collective, Ony The God and Prince Cee, find themselves thrust even further into the spotlight after their freestyle goes viral. But their musical skills aren’t the only thing that has people talking. As it’s during this interview that the duo find themselves in an exchange of heated words with an infamous DJ..who names drop their fellow group member and brother, EJ the Don in reference to recent scandals. Will the pair clear up the rumors circulating the net or will they leave it all in his hands to set the record straight? Meanwhile, (Y/N) meets up with Mikasa prior to PalmFest to discuss another opportunity she has lined up for her. It’s here that the manager informs her that she’ll be receiving the opportunity of a lifetime to work with a brand she’s loved since childhood. But that isn’t the only thing she has to divulge to the upcoming influencer. What is Mika hiding from her client? Ahead of the festival, Jean and his infamous band prepare to make their much anticipated return to the stage but before this, he teams up with the girls of the Pole Assassins for what is set to be the collab of the century and to solicit some friendly advice to the headstrong leader. But he isn’t the only one with a grand plan up his sleeve and it seems that everyone will be pulling out the stops to give Miami and the world a night worth remembering. Who’ll take the stage and who’ll steal the show?

word count: 8.2K

content + themes: mentions of drugs, humor, light angst, mentions of fighting, minor smut/sexual themes (jeankasa crumbs), alcohol use, multiple character cameos, language

“This gon’ be our year, believe that..we made it this far and we ain’t gon’ stop.”

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Summertime. One of the liveliest and busiest times of the year for many. Most were preparing for vacation, on break from school or just enjoying the various happenings around their area..but for those that were employed and contracted under AMG, this was far from a time of leisure. With the recent announcement of the much anticipated PalmFest, it had caused a dramatic shift in the company. Not only that, word of the festival had begun to make waves around social media. Fans were sharing the banner and their enthusiasm for the lineup. Many were scrambling, tweeting about how they were needing to come up with quick cash to attend for the weekend. Tickets were set to go on sale in the next few days, so naturally, the sales and advertising team would be exceptionally busy. But they wouldn’t be the only ones busy preparing for the influx of attention that was set to be coming their way.

“Okay, okay..so everybody is talking, going crazy over the internet about this new song and lemme tell y’all..it’s worth every bit of the hype. It’s definitely a hit..song of the summer for sure. I’m rocking wit’ it, so many other people are too..but we all gotta know, how did it come about? What’s the story behind Nike Tech?” two men sat adjacent to a woman with a lighter complexion..all three with microphones pursed to their lips as they were perched and bolted to the table in front of them. Both with shaved heads, marked with dyed designs..chains dangling from their necks and grills lining the insides of their mouths when they flashed those perfect smiles. Prince Cee and Ony The God, two halves of the Dead Boys Society collective. Their styles could be best described as hypercharged trap and upbeat melodies that would hype up even the deadest of crowds. Make no mistake, the men did create more emotional pieces, detailing their rough upbringings in the heart of inner city Miami and the Dominican Republic. But they much rather preferred music that made people feel good! Too often had they seen the reality of what the streets could do to them so now that they had made it to the opposite side of the tracks..naturally, they wanted to pay homage to those they lost but they wanted people to smile more than anything. To dance and most importantly, fine women to shake their asses to it!

“Well, you know we was just messin’ ‘round one night, having fun and it came to us.

Ony, or Onyakapon was born to a Haitian father and an African American mother, who was born in Nigeria and raised in Opa Locka. He was always described as bright, intelligent and sweet with a kind heart. A star athlete to his core. He loved basketball and singing. He was brought up in the church, where he learned to fine tune that beautiful voice but quickly found the streets unwillingly. He saw gun violence..drugs and weapons being stuffed under the counters by his uncles and father. It was rough but he still persisted. He played basketball, was on the swim team and played football, all while maintaining a four point two grade point average. He was a star on the field and court, no doubt. But where did he truly shine? Behind a microphone. He and Connie attended the same high school, where they eventually went on to meet EJ..who had just enrolled to finish his junior and senior years. The three would play sports, write music and dream about the future. Regardless of their differences, all three boys had the same goal: change the world with music! A manifestation turned into reality only five years later. From sitting in the lunchroom, making beats on the table to opening for Denzel Curry and Raider Clan. The boys found their fame through Soundcloud a couple years after Eren’s viral video..

filmed at the same shoe store they all worked at..years later and they were all at the height of their game. Now, the guys were preparing for their very first global tour after finishing up their second country wide one. It was a dream come true. But with every whimsical dream follows harsh realities and lately, it had begun to rear its ugly head in the form of a rumor mill surrounding their fellow group mate, EJ himself. There was so much speculation swirling around that the seasoned rapper was dealing with everything from substance abuse to potentially announcing retirement. Granted, they were all baseless and quite frankly, dumb as fuck. However, it didn’t stop interviewers and fans alike from probing the question. And when they couldn’t get the answer straight from the source, they’d have to do the next best thing..

“Yeah, we was just looking to make sum’ that everybody could enjoy.” Chiming in shortly after was Connie Springer, or known by his stage moniker as Prince Cee. The Dominican Republic born, Dade County raised rapper who got his start initially by making songs with his older and younger brothers but ultimately, the two of them decided to give up their supposed pipe dreams for careers in the family restaurant business. As the proud middle child of two immigrant parents, who worked extremely hard to not only provide for their three sons but to essentially live the American dream. It was this same determination and hard work ethic that heavily inspired Connie’s pursuit of his passion. All throughout middle and high school, he would spend hours on end penning lyrics about the various experiences that he had growing up. From migration to witnessing drug deals right in front of him..serving as a journal of sorts. What began as free therapeutic relief soon turned into the catalyst for the inception of Prince Cee. He and Ony had long met as youth football players with the Pop Warner program. But their friendship only grew stronger over time, especially when they discovered that the two of them shared a very strong interest in becoming musicians. By their junior year, the pair had written five songs between the two of them and even recorded one track once EJ joined the fray. After that, the rest was history..needless to say, all of their success were because of one another. Without each other’s support, there was no telling where they would have wound up. But it seemed as if not everyone was in support of this feel good story. In the midst of Eren’s recent arrests, there had not only been speculation of a possible retirement but issues among the group. Many online believed that Connie and Ony would be parting ways with their fellow group mate because of the stigma and that essentially, they had grown tired of ‘living in his shadow’. However, they were here to clear the air once and for all!

“Alright, so while we’re here, gentlemen. You know we gotta talk about it..your homeboy, EJ..he’s been a bit of a hot topic lately. For reasons we not gon’ talk about but we did wanna address some other things and get your opinion on it.”

sat slightly slouched in their seats with their hands propping up their chins..the two gentlemen glared intently at the interviewer. They had a gut feeling that this question would arise at some point during this but they were not in the mood for it, if they were being frank. First and foremost, what happened to their brother was not only frustrating for him but no one’s business and his own to sort through. Certainly not on a platform like this. Hell, they might as well have been cackling with The ShadeRoom themselves! “Nah man, we told y’all before we even came up in here that we wasn’t answering no questions like that.” “Yeah, that ain’t even our situation to speak on, for real..” the gentlemen would suck their teeth before dismissing her preemptive questioning with the wave of a hand. However, it seemed that others were keen on pushing the issue!

“I mean, we just wanna set the record straight..your boy been in the game for some time now. One of the greatest of all time, but lately, he’s had some trouble. Not gon’ lie..so do y’all think that’s a good look for y’all too? Will y’all ever get tired of playing second best to EJ?”

suddenly, the whole studio was met with silence outside of the faint crackle of the microphones and a nearby producer gasping before she even knew it. They were almost certain that viewers would hear and a clip would be making its rounds on the internet by lunch time. Fans of the collective would be ripping the controversial DJ to shreds on social media. However, before any would-be fangirls or blogs could join the fray, the two gentlemen would eat him alive themselves! Ony, who was always more docile and collected in nature..the quietest in the group by far, had honestly had quite enough of this antagonistic and downright, stupid ass interview! Connie, who was all but gripping the arms of his leather chair, ready to fly off the handle was instead, halted by his friend with a palm to his chest.

“Nah, cause what the fu—“

“Hol’ on, bro..I got it.”

not a man of many words outside of his incredible music and select interviews, Ony had implored Eren’s approach early on and because of it, fans adored him that much more. Women fawned all over the very handsome, sexy, charismatic rapper with beautiful dark skin and his signature gold slugs wrapped around his teeth. It was also because of this, that he, much like EJ..was not to be fucked with! If they knew what was good for them, they’d call this session quits now. Grasping the microphone, Ony would flash a smirk, almost huffing and laughing to himself because he knew the words about to leave his mouth were not kind ones and he had been known to have quite the silver tongue. He didn’t mince words and he damn sure didn’t spare feelings, especially when it comes to those he cared about. Everybody could die behind his family..

“Lemme ask you sum’…out of all the years my boy been doing this, just like you said..how many times has he been invited on your show? Hmm? How many times have you reached out for an interview or asked him to come perform for y’all?” The question seemed to invoke both confusion and uncomfortability in the man. A dumbfounded expression on his face..akin to that of a scorned and scolded child. “Up until now, how many times has Dead Boys been on this radio station? Yall ain’t never played our shit, ain’t never invited us on and when you do, it’s for sum’ bullshit. See, this is why ion’ do these lil’ podcasts and shit, y’all talk more than bitches do. Y’all knew what it was before we even came up in here and y’all still gon’ play in our face. All this you see, we did without a deal, we did it without a label, we ain’t had to check in with no nigga in our city to get put on. We ain’t got to run up in everybody else's hood to make it. We ain’t these lil’ 360 ass niggas, we own all ours and that man EJ? Ain’t got nothing but love and all the respect in the world for him because he’s cut from the same cloth. We did this together, that’s our family..this music shit, it means everything to us and if y’all can’t respect him, then y’all don’t respect us and that means we done here..”

Without missing so much as a beat, Ony removed his headset and Connie followed..despite the pleas from the interviewers. But before the gentlemen could exit for good, Connie left them with one more statement that would solidify their stance on the matter. “And since ya’ll watching, just wait until that next album drops. We’ll see who the real great is. All them rumors and shit? Gon’ be put to rest. Let’s go.” And with that, the two of them turned on their heels without so much as even glancing back at the radio hosts. It may not have been their situation, but they handled it on his behalf and for anyone who may have been doubting them, EJ or their collective in general, were about to be in for a rude awakening. They had come too far to allow negative opinions and messy ‘journalists’ to diminish their shine. By the time this hit the internet, their words would be undoubtedly misconstrued but they were not about to let this stop them. If anything, it ignited the dormant spark lying underneath them to go harder. To prove people like that wrong and to show everybody what they were truly made of. Determined..now more than ever to step their game up. This time, it was personal!

“This gon’ be our year, believe that..we made it this far and we ain’t gon’ stop. Me, Connie, EJ, Armin..all of us. We ‘bout to put this industry on its head.”

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meanwhile, the boys weren’t the only ones preparing to make moves..whilst EJ and the rest of his collective were suiting up for PalmFest, album rollouts and such, (y/n) was about to receive some rather unexpected and great news yourself. Unbeknownst in your absence and amid your sabbatical, your manager had been working diligently to secure you a once in a lifetime deal..one that could potentially change the trajectory of your career in an instant.

“I’m sure you’re dying to know what it’s inside…go on, open it.”

currently, you were seated across from her at an outdoor table, overlooking the picturesque Miami waters. The Lapis Lounge was the place to be for anyone who was anyone in this town. Crisp white, designer linen draped marble tables with intricately arranged flowers placed in the center. Wine glasses filled with Pellegrino, shimmered underneath the sunlight; sliced lemons decorating the rim and square China plates sat before the both of you with aesthetically plated dishes that cost more than anything you’d ever dined on willingly. It never not dawned on you how surreal your life was each time you found yourself in these scenarios. Even now, as you chatted with her, intermittently shoving a spoon of panna cotta in your mouth, you couldn’t help but to dwell on the fact that this amount of money could’ve gotten you at least three fish plates and a good tray of oxtails on your side of town! Nonetheless, you’d tremble with anticipation..hands scaling the medium sized, gift wrapped box sat before you. A present, courtesy of Mikasa, who had been brandishing it when you arrived. It was pink with holographic foiling with a tag and bow on top that read: “To (y/n) (l/n). We hope you enjoy it.” You were honestly dumbfounded as to what it could be. But anticipation would not have to kill you any longer as you began to unravel the bow and open up the gift. Your expression would immediately change once you figured out what was beneath all that wrapping paper. Switching from a gaze of utter confusion to a wide gasp complete with a smile.

“Oh my God!—no way…” you were completely taken aback and could, at that very moment..burst into tears but you restrained yourself. Trying to construct and form a thought before speaking. “M-miss..Miss Ackerman, what is this?” “Exactly as it says..congratulations, sweetheart. You’re the new cover girl for Moschino. They sent that to my office this morning and said that they’d love for you to star in their next perfume ad.” You were in utter shock and disbelief. Beyond words even..for anyone that knew you, the (y/n) before the fame..you were quite the dresser. Prior to even coming up on money, you never disappointed when it came to your outfits, hair or makeup. Sporting the most eclectic and well coordinated pieces that could never work for anyone else but you. Outdressing the girls in school who needed brand names to compete but you’d outshine their fly every single time on a budget at a fraction of the price..shopping at the stores they’d deem ‘ghetto’ or lesser, styling your own hair and makeup with nothing but products from the beauty supply down the road from your house and coming to class with all eyes directed at you. Needless to say, you had never really had any use for designer duds. But if there was one fancy label that had piqued your interest, it was Moschino. Everything about it just made you fawn..from its avant- garde pieces, vibrant designs to unique aesthetics, you became obsessed. Although you were no bougie fashion snob, you often dreamed of getting to rock at least one of their pieces. Whether it be a handbag or a thrifted coat, you’d always wanted at least one. And now, years later..your manifestation has become reality! Excited wasn’t even the correct word..feigning back tears, you’d cackle and begin scouring the large PR package they had gifted you. Including their new Moschino Toy 2 Collection, along with their spring 2024 collection.

“And that’s not even the best part. Both Fenty brands actually reached out to me this morning as well with a proposal to feature you in their newest catalogs. I have the contracts for all three offers right here whenever you’re ready. If you agree, you can sign and you’ll officially be on the affiliate payroll..what do you think?”

you were at an utter loss for words. How could you even describe what it was that you were feeling? Honestly, every bit of it felt surreal. There was no way that you, of all people, were about to grace the ad pages for Moschino, Fenty Beauty and Savage x Fenty all in the same month. Not to mention being in two acts for the upcoming PalmFest. Getting to model and truly tap into your creative expression with photoshoots of your own making. The conceptual art, the budget of your choosing..it was a dream come true! Leaning back against your seat, you’d release a faint gasp, slowly shaking your head in utter disbelief as you attempted to feign back tears. It seemed as if you were just overcome with emotion as of late. Not so much from any hardships but the exact opposite. Oftentimes had you prayed for days like this and everything you’d ever hoped for was finally coming into fruition. It was almost as if your star had completely ascended overnight and it wasn’t lost on you that it happened shortly after signing onto Mikasa’s roster. And of course, after meeting Eren. Naturally, you’d never attribute your success to a man unless it was the one upstairs. However, you were grateful that she had thrown you two together that night!

“I..I honestly don’t know what to say. Thank you so much, Ms. Mika. I’m honored and I promise I will do the best I can to make you proud.” hoisting your glass to make a toast; met with soft giggles and a raised champagne flute in return. “Please, you’ve far exceeded that expectation. Just keep doing what you do best, stay genuine and I’ll make certain that you go far in this business.” Just as poised as ever, sipping from her champagne flute when stating so. However, that serene look in her eyes soon dissipated when you brought up the next topic of discussion. One that you had no idea was such a sore subject for your manager. “It’s crazy what a couple months can do. I mean, I was just backstage with EJ, getting a pep talk about how to navigate the crowd. ‘Swear..wouldn’t have known what to do if it wasn’t for him. He’s so much nicer than what everyone said too but I’m sure you already knew–” before you had the opportunity to complete your long winded tangent, singing the rapper’s praises, Mikasa would ingest a big gulp before clearing her throat. It took a moment for you to notice the shift in her mood and her facial expressions but you immediately became concerned. “Is everything okay?” “Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just got strangled, is all..” Prompting you to focus your attention on her wellbeing rather than your newest fling and her sworn enemy on the moment. Truth be told, she hadn’t exactly confronted her issues with Eren head on. Ever since that day in his studio, she had felt nothing but pure rage in her heart whenever the thought even so much as crossed her mind. Honestly, she had nothing to say to him or about him but she’d be lying if she said that the prospect of both their professional and business relationship being annulled..wouldn’t sting. Years of friendship, hard work, determination, advocating for one another and fighting their way to the top of the industry as a power duo, all down the drain over a stupid fight. She couldn’t blame Eren for his reaction but it didn’t make his words sting any less. Make no mistake, she still believed in him and his ability to make a comeback but it was going to take some time before she was able to see him as a manager or friend..

“You seem to really like Eren..” the comment sends a pang to the very pit of your stomach, making you quickly try to recant your earlier statements and downplay the oversharing of feelings for the seasoned rapper. However, that glimmer in your eye and visible reaction in body language was a dead giveaway. You could no longer fake your feelings for EJ the Don and if anyone saw through the facade, it was her.

“Well, ya know..he’s cool. He just helped me–

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You don’t have to mince words with me. Trust me, that boy’s got your head so far in the clouds, I think you may float away.” It was official, she had you pegged just as well as your best friends. It was blatantly obvious that the two of you had something serious going on..whether you wanted to admit that fact to yourselves or not. Lowering your head, (Y/N) released a soft chuckle in half relief and half embarrassment. You were acting like an airheaded schoolgirl over a man you barely even knew and everyone around you had obviously peeped.

“Listen, (y/n)..I’ll be honest with you. Eren and I? We’re not exactly on good terms at the moment. Hell, even bringing up his name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll spare you the gritty details but..as it stands, he’s no longer my client and certainly not my friend. I’m only telling you this because I don’t want you to be alarmed or in the dark about any awkward tension..in the event we all happen to end up in the same circle. PalmFest is right around the corner and truthfully..I don’t know if I have it in my heart to forgive him. I don’t know if he can forgive me either..” The declaration was made through restrained tears and obvious hurt. You’d never seen your manager break her stoic and calm demeanor once since you’ve known her but now? She was completely different. More vulnerable and certainly more emotional than she’d ever gotten but she had to keep her cool. Put on that brave facade and try not to let it get to her. Also, she could see the visible shock on your face and how saddened you looked by the revelation. You hated confrontation and the idea of your potential beau and your manager being at odds was not good. You could tell they were very close and although it was certainly none of your business, you hoped they reached a resolution soon.

“I’m also telling you this because I don’t think that my or anyone else’s opinion should stand in the way of you two being happy. Regardless of how I feel about him right now..Eren was one of the very few people in my life that kept me grounded when I needed it most. He’s never really gotten excited about anything outside of music or work..but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, I’ve never seen that man smile as much as I have since you showed up.”

This revelation was certainly news to you! Even though you didn’t want to read much into it or get carried away, you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t one hell of a confidence boost! The cold hearted ice king, EJ the Don himself..gushing over the likes of you? You were shocked! But he obviously had a thing for you. Whether that was just lust or perhaps something more..was yet to be determined. In the meantime, your manager had one last tidbit of friendly advice for you. As woman to woman.

“I don’t know what it is about you but you obviously make him very happy and I can tell that he’s done the same for you. That’s important in this business…hold on to that. I don’t know two people who are more deserving.” In that moment, behind the strict expressions and no nonsense persona, Mikasa seemed to falter just a bit in that moment. Softening right before your eyes..it was very clear that she meant every single word that left her mouth. She wanted to see Eren happy even if she had to do so from the sidelines as someone who was no longer a part of his life. And you? She had never seen someone so kind, energetic and sweet before. She’d heard first hand from Niesha how much a workaholic you were and despite you just getting started, you deserved at least a bit of a reward. Hoisting your glass once more, you’d flash her a bright beaming smile, even giggling a bit to feign off crying because it took nothing for you to become emotional..especially when sentimental statements like that were involved.

“Thank you Miss Mika..I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it. Just promise me you’ll stay focused and keep your eyes on the prize. You’ve worked so hard. Don’t let anyone get in the way of that.”

“You have my word..”

With that, the two of you clinked your champagne flutes together and took obligatory swigs of the bubbly concoction inside. Rinsing away the intensity of the previous conversation. Now it was back to more pertinent matters!

“That’s my girl..now, back to this photoshoot. Let’s talk about the details because I have a few ideas that I think you’ll just absolutely adore..”

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page break and time skip: two days later

Hard Rock Stadium: Stage A, Miami Beach

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With the long anticipated PalmFest approaching a lot sooner rather than later, it seemed that everyone as a collective was working diligently to ensure that it would be nothing short of a stellar success. Stage crews worked overtime as they secured support beams for the stages..testing the lightning a million times over and getting everyone’s pyrotechnics in order for those who needed them. Running simulations of backdrops for each performer to make sure no one suffered from a glitch when the time finally came. Some of the biggest names in the industry would be setting foot on that very stage come three days from now. The entire weekend was one that would undoubtedly be for the books; for musical talents and attendees alike. Meanwhile, the executives had come out of their glass paned offices to observe the scene for themselves. Among the fray was none other than Erwin Smith, who had been working directly with everyone to relay orders and needs as well. He was the one heading this project so it was only natural for him to come show his face. Besides, with his reliant leadership style, everyone could rest assured that if any last minute changes or major pieces needed to be handled, he was the man to do so. At that very moment, he was seated in the front row as the lights dimmed on the overhead structure. Below them was quite possibly not only one of, but two of the festival’s most anticipated acts..Atelier Kiss and Pole Assassins! An unlikely yet dynamic pairing. The two groups had come together one time prior when the band was on their last tour. The dancing quintet had just gotten their start when lead man, Jean Kirschtein himself asked for the ladies to join them for their hometown reunion. Rivaling the sounds of Deftones and Avenged Sevenfold, the infamous group put a unique spin on rock music and changed the genre as everyone knew it. Jean, a native of Louisiana..had always harbored an affinity for blues, jazz, country and soul music. But to his core, he was a metal head. Growing up on the sounds of Metallica, Black Sabbath and Def Leppard, he wanted to combine all sides of the musical spectrum. He didn’t want to limit himself or his bandmates to one particular style. He fought to break stereotypes and bring an innovative style of rock and roll to the scene. He also had the privilege of receiving the tutelage of Vivian James and needless to say, he absorbed plenty from the Neo Soul Siren herself. His ultimate creation was, in his own words.. ‘The result of Kiss, Tina Turner and Waylon Jennings having an illegitimate love child.’ An interesting combination to put it lightly! But that insane mix worked for Atelier Kiss and years later, they’re regarded as one of the highest selling bands of the 21st century..no small feat by any stretch of the imagination. That deep, silky yet soulful vibrato of his could be recognized from earshot anywhere and Erwin had just gotten an exclusive concert just for his listening pleasure only as the groups had just wrapped up practice for their upcoming set.

“You guys..pardon my language..but that was fucking amazing.” The brash comment sending everyone on the stage into light hearted hysterics, even laughing. It was rare to even see the director ever crack a smile or break character but for anyone who was familiar with the former lead guitarist of Atelier Kiss’ predecessor, Maria’s Way..led by none other than the president and director themselves..they’d know that this was far tame for Mr. Smith. To him, he felt right at home watching the beautiful ladies twirl the pole as the rockstar crooned sultry and lewd lyrics into the mic. He had done the exact same many years prior..needless to say, he was proud of you all! Seeing as how they’d be opening the show, you guys had to make one hell of a first impression or the entire show would fall to shit. But that wasn’t even a possibility. The leaders of both groups were not only hard workers, but overachievers as well. Both Jean and (Y/N) had something serious to prove.

“Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like this and I cannot wait for you all to perform. Well done. Especially you ladies..being able to construct a routine of this caliber on such short notice? I’m blown away.” A statement that rang true..as it was only after your meeting with Mikasa two days ago, did he call you up and ask about performing with Atelier Kiss. Naturally, you accepted with bells on! Nevermind the fact that you’d also be on stage with a segment of your own, hosting a little contest alongside Prince Cee and Armin to see which lucky audience member could not only sway them but outdance you girls for their chance to win one thousand dollars cash right there. You’d be pulling double duty and exhausting yourselves in the process but all the more exposure, the better. And you were certain that your girls were up to the task!

“Ya’ hear that, girls? Sounds like we got the boss man’s stamp of approval. I’d say we’re good to call it a night.” Something that you all could get behind and appreciate, seeing as how darkness had already set fall over the sky. As excited as you all were, rest was going to be crucial in making a great performance happen. Slowly but surely, the stage hands and band members alike all helped you down from your poles and to your feet. All of them would thank your group and the sentiments were mirrored. But before you all could depart for home, Jean was hoping for an audience with you.

“Aye..(Y/N). Do you mind if we talk for a minute?

It was certainly an odd request..you’d consider yourself rather good friends with the lead singer but it wasn’t often that you had the chance to speak in private and quite honestly, there was no need! But by the indication of his tone, you could tell it may have been serious.

“Of course!” you’d wave to your girls and alert them that you’d catch up with them shortly. Meanwhile, you and Jean would venture off to the side of the stage to converse. He’d grasp your hand and help you down to the edge before handing you a water bottle. He was always just as chivalrous as he was kind..admirable qualities in a man and a friend in general. Graciously accepting, you’d thank him for the kind gestures before inquiring about his request.

“So what did you wanna talk about? Something wrong with the routine?” peering down at the ground, he’d be quick to dismiss that notion. This matter was a bit more personal and he truthfully couldn’t be sure of how you’d take it. “Nah, nothing like that..before I start running my mouth though. Are you and EJ..seeing each other?” Instantaneously, the question both caught you off guard and invoked a very physical reaction in you. You were so confused as to why he’d spring such a question up on you. It wasn’t as if either of you had made this little situationship you were involved in blatantly obvious but anyone with two functioning eyes could see that there was something going on between the two of you. Make no mistake, it wasn’t any more of his business as it was some random blog on the internet but you also didn’t strike Jean as the nosy type. He didn’t meddle in others’ affairs unless it pertained to his own and now that you were thinking about it, you could see why he harbored a vested interest of sorts…

“I mean..we talk from time to time. Nothing too serious..” but alas, he had his answer the moment you clutched that bottle as if you were trying to squeeze the life out of it and the way your eyes lit up at the sheer mention of his name. “Ahh, you don’t have to play coy with me. We’re friends..besides, it’s none of my business. But there was something I wanted to bring to your attention..” swallowing another gulp of his beverage, Jean would cease his light chuckle and return to a far more serious gaze than before. One that worried you a bit..what exactly was on his mind and how did it involve you? Granted, his fiancee had made him privy to their little spat a couple weeks back and how they were no longer on speaking terms. But it was just as Mikasa had said, their quarrel was in no way a reflection of how you should proceed with talking to him! Even so, you couldn’t help but to be intrigued by the blonde’s words. You’d rather someone tell you than to be in the dark about something important later on down the line.

“..I won’t sit here and pretend that he and I are best friends or anything. Never have been..hell, we’ve been at each other's throats since I’ve known him. Point is, I just want you to be careful. I know it’s not my place or anything..but I saw you guys together on the boat a couple weeks ago. And even though I can say for certainty that he’s not some womanizing sleazebag..dude’s selfish as hell. I mean, he never answers his phone, not even in emergencies. He doesn’t show up for meetings even when other people’s jobs are on the line..he’s just the worst!” By Jean’s frustrated rant, you can tell that Eren had done a thing or two to crawl underneath his skin. Even so, you couldn’t help but to laugh! Just as you had explained to your girls, you’d tell him, Mikasa and everyone else the exact same:

“ I appreciate the concern, Jean. But he and I are just friends, that’s all…no need to worry. I promise.”

You honestly found the sentiment sweet. That everyone was concerned about you and your wellbeing. Jean himself was overly cautious about the people in his life and rightfully so. This industry was a beast and a half and it would devour you whole if you allowed it. The last thing anyone wanted was for you to get hurt by somebody you seemingly held in high regard. Scoffing, the blonde would shake his head once more and cackle. He didn’t want you becoming angry with him over insinuations or baseless accusations. Truth be told, you and Eren didn’t know much about one another outside of the physical aspect but as it stood since your last hookup, he was hoping to change that. He was making a valiant and active effort to be more than just friends with benefits. That much was apparent by his consistent communication and the few flower arrangements he had sent to your apartment; a sweet little surprise after a long day of practice and work. You were appreciative of everyone’s concern but this was one matter you’d have to see to the end for yourself. Whether it played out in your favor or not.

“I figured you’d say as much. In all seriousness, you’ve become like family here at AMG. All of you have and we look out for one another. Everyone has seen how hard you work and we’d just hate for that to become jeopardized in any way. You just make sure that dummy doesn’t do anything to hurt you. If he does, you know who to call.” his offer sending you into a fit of giggles once more. But you had no doubt that you were in good hands. For the time being, you’d just play it cool and roll with the punches. “You know I appreciate you, boo. Thank you for looking out for me.” Swinging your arm around, you’d coil Jean’s neck and embrace him in a tight hug. You were extremely grateful for the people in your life right now and you knew that things were only about to become even better. Your angels were definitely looking out for you. The two of you would begin to stand up, reaching his hand out to assist you once more. It was amid your banter about the upcoming show that your phone began to ring and you’d prepare to part ways.

“...Hey, make sure to get some rest..all of you! You’re sure as hell gonna need it.”

“Aye, you ain’t gotta tell me twice! I’m headed home straight after this. And tell that pretty lady of yours I said hey!..”

But upon exchanging those pleasantries and goodbyes, your spoken plans were sure to become derailed and by the aforementioned topic nonetheless..you’d peer down at your phone screen to be suddenly greeted with none other than the contact name ‘EJ’. You didn’t want to seem extremely desperate for his attention or anything but you had been itching to hear from him. As it had been a day or two since your last phone call. He’d text you every morning and maintain consistent contact throughout the day..which you could appreciate because Jean was right about one thing: EJ moved on his time and his alone so he didn’t owe you a single thing and as he had revealed to you, he was in the process of cultivating his new album so you imagined that the Facetimes and texts would become scarce as the deadline drew near. As well as the fast approaching PalmFest. However, there was another reason he was reaching out. After the second or third ring, you’d swipe the arrow left and answer him.

“Hey EJ..”

“Hey gorgeous..how are you?”

The name sends immediate pangs to the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t help but to amass butterflies when you so much as heard his name so naturally, the sweet gestures made it even worse.

“I’m doing well, thanks..and I hope you are too.”

“I’m having a wonderful day now that I’ve gotten the chance to hear from you.”

“You know, you really do know how to make a girl feel special.”

“What can I say? A smart man recognizes a good thing when he sees it..I’d be crazy to mess that up, now wouldn’t I?”

Only a minute into your conversation, (Y/N) found yourself fawning over his buttery smooth words and that silky voice. Regardless, there was a reason he was calling you so late in the day and you had to know why.

“Listen, I don’t wanna take up too much of your time or anything and forgive me if I’m interruptin’ or anything. I saw your Instagram, I know you’ve been out here working hard..you know I never wanna take you away from your money..but if it was possible, I was hoping I could see you tonight. Maybe we could get together and finally have that date we were talking about..” Befuddled in your tracks, you had to take a moment to respond. Maybe it was the bare minimum and you weren’t exactly used to being courted in such a manner, but you appreciated his words. He valued your time just the same as his own..he didn’t see your profession as something lesser and certainly didn’t think you the type to be sitting around, awaiting his call. Because of this, you were thrilled to see him again and to finally have that quality time you both desired. Granted, the sex was downright impeccable between the two of you but it was obvious that you each were craving far more than physical intimacy..at the moment, it was only five thirty so you’d have ample enough time to make it back home and get yourself together. After all, it was your first official date and you wanted to be dressed accordingly! And with this festival and other projects looming over your heads, this was the perfect time to sneak in some personal breathing room..so without a moment more of hesitation..

“..I’d love that, thank you, Eren. I’m just now leaving practice but give me a couple hours and you can slide through.”

“Of course, beautiful. I’m so sorry it’s on such short notice but I’m glad you agreed to see me..I missed you.” Something about him was starkly different from the man you saw in interviews or on stage but it was so nice to be around someone so kind. He made you truly feel safe and that you’d made the right decision..

“I missed you too..I’ll see you in a bit, okay? Bye.”

“Bye..”

You just hoped that for your sake..you didn’t meet the side that Jean was seeming to warn you about. In the meantime, you had to make sure you were looking right!..

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three hours later..

On the opposite side of town, you and Eren weren’t the only two lovebirds indulging in the woes of being an item.

“You know, if you keep touching me like that, I’ll never get any work done..”

“That’s the entire point, my love. C’mon, it’s late..you deserve a break.”

at the future Kirschtein residence, Jean was attempting to woo his bride to get some much needed alone time. The couple had both been working nonstop during this time for the upcoming performance, their individual careers and of course, the wedding that was said to be ‘one for the books’. As excited as they were for all the new things happening in their life, rest was equally as important and as it stood, it was definitely a rarity. But it wasn’t the only thing that had been lacking..

“You just want some ass, admit it.”

“Okay, I just want some ass. There, I said it.”

the blonde was currently stationed behind his fiancée, who was still typing away at her computer and delegating orders via email at this time of night. For Mikasa, the grind truly never subsided. She would work in her sleep if it were feasible but there was nothing wrong with enjoying yourself every once in a while. Something Jean was hoping to accomplish tonight..in more ways than one. Despite her always stoic attitude, she couldn’t help but to fold and cackle at his advances. He was brutally honest to a fault and she appreciated that. Currently, he was feeling up her sides…marking up her neck with a trail of kisses and whispering all the things she wanted to hear. Even she couldn’t resist the charms and temptation of a man like him. It was that very behavior that had bagged her in the first place!..

“Alright, sir! Cut it out..I swear, you’re such a freak. The last time we tried that, you said you couldn’t breathe.”

“Yeah, but I would’ve died the happiest man ever..”

his southern twang peeking through the conversation as he reminisced on their most recent and salacious rendezvous. Nonetheless, he just wanted quality time with his lady. “Fine, give me two more minutes and I’ll be right there.” That was as good of a concession as he was going to get so Jean took the bait and accepted. “Two minutes, woman! Two minutes..” signaling the number with his fingers as he walked out..but even so, she couldn’t help but to chime in with a joke as he departed to the bedroom.

“If that’s how long you’re gonna last, I might as well stay right here—“ “Oh, shut up! Damn brat..”

cackling as he exited the room, Mikasa covered her mouth to attempt to feign her laughter. It was little moments like this that she enjoyed the most out of every aspect of her life. “Love you, babe!” But it was just as she was preparing to call it quits for the night, would she be met with quite the surprise. The inbox and screen were all but empty until a push notification appeared in the corner along with a burner email and a blank subject line. At first, it struck her as odd but suddenly, the dots began to connect for her. After a moment of reluctance, Mikasa would double click the email and open it up. Only to be greeted with nothing more than an audio file. “Okay, this is strange..” but alas, she’d still proceed and once it began playing, there was no doubt in her mind who the sender was..as she allowed it to play, the manager began to tear up, along with a soft chuckle. It was all making sense now..and needless to say, she was backed into a corner.

“You bastard..damn you. You always did get your way, I guess this time is no different.”

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[neowinestainedress]

rock, paper, scissors

title: rock, paper, scissors

pairing: suh johnny x jeong jaehyun x lee jeno x na jaemin x fem!oc/reader (no name used, written in third person) 

genre: smut, basically pwp, best friends!au

summary: five friends rent a house together for a few weeks to enjoy summer like they used to do when they were younger, thinking that nothing could change their friendship. But teasing leads to pent-up tension and tension leads to problems. Problems that can’t be fixed by playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ like when they were young.

warnings: smut, sexual tension, implied masturbation, unprotected sex, fivesome, (not discussed) dom/sub dynamics, fingering (f), rimming (f), oral (m), double penetration, spit roasting, rough sex, dirty talk, degradation, praise, minor choking, anal sex (f receiving), spitting, light hair pulling, size kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, minor orgasm control, minor dumbification, (hard) dom!johnny, dom!jaehyun, (hard) dom!jeno, dom!jaemin, sub!oc/reader, filth just pure filth. 

words: 11.765k

a/n: the 4J smut nobody asked for is here. I think I struggle writing things with no emotions so this one was pretty much a challenge for me, but I hope it’s not too bad and you’ll enjoy it. I made it sound deep in the summary but the ‘problems’ are just them being horny. Let me know what you think with comments, reblogs or asks. ♡

taglist: @wooyoung4eva @jenoxygen @sunshinedhyuck @kundann @jaeymark

They had no idea if she was doing it on purpose, but the more they stared at her, the more they couldn’t get what the hell had happened in over a year. 

When she had to move out of town for a job opportunity and they stopped seeing her, they were still used to a pretty innocent woman that would always get shy at their sexual jokes or, most of the time, don’t get them at all. But the woman in front of them was a completely changed person. And none of them expected these two weeks together, locked in the same house, to be this hard. 

“This was exactly what we needed,” she exclaimed as she faced the balcony of their rented house, looking at the view in front of her, a drink Johnny just made in hand and a big floppy hat covering her from the sun. 

“Most definitely,” Jeno replied from behind, lounging on a sunbed with one arm behind his head, forcing his eyes, hidden behind sunglasses, to drift away from her barely covered ass and stare at the view – like he could give two shits about the sea and the beach in front of them. 

“We should go to the beach again,” she said, turning around, resting her elbows on the railing, and looking at all of her friends with a smile on her face. “We’ve spent these first two days locked in.” 

“It’s hot,” Jaemin replied, “I don’t get why you want to go down to the beach when we have a pool right here.” 

“You’re so lazy,” she huffed, waving him off but then moving to sit between him and Jaehyun, wiggling her ass to fit between them, pushing their open legs close so she could squeeze in. “Why don’t you like going there?” 

He snickered, shaking his head and trying not to pay attention to the way her skin was rubbing against his. “Too many people. You know I hate crowds.” 

“But the sea is funnier,” she whined, turning around, pouting at him, leaning forward to give him big doe eyes to convince him to go with her.

And Jaemin wouldn’t have given up easily if only his eyes didn’t fall on her chest, pressed up and half exposed by the top of the skimpy white bikini. “I’ll come,” he replied just to make her move from that position before he could get a hard-on in front of everybody. 

“See, I can always convince you,” she cheered, not noticing anything, not even the way the other three, in the meanwhile, were rather lost in the other curves of her body. 

What the hell were they thinking about? They all mentally cursed, shaking themselves out of their thoughts, some of them feeling more guilty and some others just to keep their morality in line but their reason was the same. They couldn’t screw up fifteen years of friendship for being horny. They all cherished her and their friendship. So they came up with the silent mutual agreement of not ruining everything for sex. The nights there were young, and there were so many hot women they could get, it was just a matter of time before she would’ve slipped back into the back of their minds and simply stayed as their dearest friend. 

But they were wrong. 

Jeno was the first one to lose his mind. He just couldn’t help to look at her in another way when she wasn’t doing anything to don’t make him fall to his knee and wait for the right moment to have her. 

“You’ll get skin cancer if you don’t protect yourself,” she said while her hands moved on his toned body – beautifully toned body, she would’ve said – trying not to get lost on it for too long, wondering since when he had so many muscles.

Jeno mumbled a brief response while he tried to keep his eyes open so his horny-dumb-brain wouldn’t have started to imagine her hands somewhere else on his body. “’kay, are you done?” He asked when she reached too close to his lap, standing up and smiling awkwardly. 

“Yes, but can you help me too?” She pouted, passing him the bottle of sunscreen and tilting her head to the side. 

“On your body?” He asked, scratching his neck. 

“Yeah, silly, where else would you want to apply it?” 

“Sure,” he replied, pulling his lips in a tight line. “Turn around and lay,” he said, waiting for her to take place in his old position. He had to take a deep breath before squeezing the cold cream in his hands and starting to apply it on her shoulders, her back, hardly skipping her round perky ass, and down to the back of her thighs and legs. 

“Oh,” she moaned, “you’re really good with your hands, you know?”  

“Oh, sure I am,” he replied with a smug smirk without realizing, “I mean,” he coughed, “I give pretty good massages.” 

“Uhm, uhm,” she moaned again, eyes closed and lips parted. And Jeno had to gather all the will in his body to don’t move her bikini to the side and fuck her right there to see how even prettier she would’ve looked if those sounds came from even more pleasure. 

“Turn around,” he said, shaking his head as if to scroll those thoughts out of his mind. “Do you also need my help here?” 

“Yeah, I covered your whole body, do the same.” 

“Fine,” he sighed, splashing more cream in his hands and doing the same in the front of her body. “Why are you laughing?” He asked, while his hands were on her stomach, her soft smooth skin making him want to taste so much more than just that.

“Nothing,” she said but her lips were still turned up in a playful grin while she stared at his hesitant hands. 

“Okay, come on, now, what’s this?” 

“As soon as I complimented you, your hands started shaking,” she smiled, sitting up once he was done, and brushing a strand of long black-greenish hair behind his ear. “You’re cute,” she said before leaving a kiss on top of his nose and getting up, running outside to reach the others in the pool. 

Jeno stood there for a while, frozen, before he sighed loudly, shaking his head. “She’s going to make me go insane.” 

The second one to realize that the plan wasn’t working was Johnny. 

He wasn’t used to hearing her pick up all his dirty jokes, so he kept making them and every time got taken aback when she would, not only flirt back, but sometimes, even start it all. 

“Could you please stop taking so much space on the couch?” She whined, trying to fit next to him as they tried to choose a movie to watch. 

“Hey, you know I’m a big guy,” he replied with a smirk on his face and winking, expecting her to squirm and hide in embarrassment. 

“Do I?” She replied, looking at him in the eyes, smirking back. “You know, I’m a visual learner,” she joked, clicking her tongue before turning her attention to the tv again, chuckling lowly as she could still see his stunned expression and feel how his body tensed up. 

But Johnny tried to hide it, and cleared his throat, squeezing in his seat to leave her more room.

Or when they were in the kitchen, trying to fit the frozen mixture of a cake they decided to prepare into a form. 

“It will never fit,” Johnny groaned, throwing his head back, and shaking his red-brown hair out of his face since his hands were dirty.

“Don’t you know how to be patient?” She asked, coming to his side, taking the dough in her hands and placing it on a plate for a moment. “If it doesn’t slide in,” she said, voice lower than usual as she dirtied her fingers with butter, “it means that you have to get it nice and wet and slippery,” she explained while her fingers ran over the sides of the silicone form before she gently squeezed the dough inside. “See, how easy it is to make it fit if you take it slow?” 

Johnny hummed, looking away from her fingers, trying to scroll out of his mind the thought of those fingers being inside of her as he watched how she would take care of herself. “Thanks, I guess,” he babbled, forcing a smile on his face and trying to avoid her teasing gaze. 

She shrugged, patting his shoulder with her clean hand. “A shame, by the way, I always imagined you as someone that knew how to take it slow,” she winked, before leaving the kitchen. 

Oh, he thought that too before her.

The third to give up was Jaemin. For him, it was the constant touches. The way her hands always found a way on his skin, or in his hair, touching him as if her life depended on it. 

When he played video games she always found an excuse to sit on his lap, unknowingly – he wasn’t so sure about that – grinding against him. Or when he wanted to enjoy the peace of the evening and read something outside of the porch she was always there, snuggling close to him. But worsts of it all were their days at the beach.

“Your skin is so soft,” she cooed one day while they were sitting under the umbrella and her head was resting against his shoulder, her hands gently caressing his arm. 

“Thanks,” he stuttered, not really knowing what to say, too afraid that, if said more, not-so-appropriate sounds would’ve rolled out of his mouth. Why was she touching him like this? Why was her leg so pressed against his? Wasn’t she hot?  And why the hell she never asked the others to go with her? Did she like making him suffer?

She chuckled, moving one hand up under his chin and turning his face toward hers. “Thank you for always coming with me here,” she purred, letting her hand trail up and reach his dark-brown hair, ruffling them playfully. “You’re the best.”

Jaemin swallowed, trying to keep his eyes on hers and not on her soft, plump lips and don’t lean in to kiss her, smiling lightly and thinking that fuck, this was going to be harder than he imagined. 

The last one to fall was Jaehyun. He couldn’t really get why she insisted so much to train with him, she had never been a gym girl anyway. But now she was always with him for the few hours he would spend in the small gym inside the house. And he hated it. 

He hated the way the pink leggings wrapped around her body. He hated the way her tits bounced when she ran and he could hardly take his eyes off of them. He hated the moans that rolled past her lips when she had to push her body past its limits. And he hated himself because he wasn’t one that typically lost control, so why was he losing it with his best friend?

“I don’t get why you’re always here,” he whispered one time, chuckling, shaking his head as he kept his focus on the weights he was cleaning. Pretending they were much more interesting than her passing a cloth over her body to dry the sweat.

“To stay fit?” She replied as if it was obvious.

“Yeah, but why? Since when?” 

“Why not? I’m with you. I don’t have all those other judgmental people I’d have in a real gym and I get to see muscles anyway,” she winked, patting his head. 

Jaehyun stuttered something under his breath before lifting his head to stare at her. “My muscles?” 

“Oh, please, don’t act as if you’re not aware of the body you carry around.” 

He smirked, lowering his head to hide the blush. “And you like the body I carry around?” 

She giggled, stealing a white towel close to his seat, and wrapping it around her shoulder before walking to the door. “I love it,” she winked and then sent him a flying kiss that he didn’t even try to catch, too caught up in this. Too caught up in her.

“Tell me you’re seeing her,” Jeno cried out in exasperation when he barged into Johnny’s room, knowing he would’ve found all of them there. She went out to buy something, giving them a bit of time to breathe.

They quirked a brow, putting down their phones to look at him. “Her as in our best friend or another girl that’s making you lose your mind?” Johnny asked, throwing his head back to look at him.

Jeno sighed, running a hand in his hair and pulling. “Yes, congratulations, you got it. Of course, it’s her, who else could it be?” 

“And? What do you want us to do?” Jaemin asked, twirling in the chair, resting his head against his fist. 

“I don’t know, but she either calms down or I can’t promise you I’ll be able to resist much more,” he huffed. “She’s doing it on purpose, she’s never been like this.” 

“Or maybe you never wanted to look at her like that,” Jaehyun said, shrugging. 

“Please, don’t tell me that a year ago she was the same,” he groaned. “Have you ever seen her wear those skimpy dresses? Wear so much jewellery? Do her hair so nicely? Or be so touchy all the time?” 

“She had never been ugly, though,” Jaemin said, “Jae’s right.” 

Jeno rolled his eyes. “It’s not about being ugly but she was so fucking innocent and naïve and now she’s… she’s always the one flirting,” he snapped. “With everybody.” 

Johnny laughed. “Yeah, you mad because it’s not you.” 

“Shut the hell up,” he retorted. “I was trying to be nice because I know you want her just as well, and you know she wouldn’t say no to me. So… how are we going to do this?” 

“Are we planning this?” Jaemin asked, furrowing his brows. “You’re making it sound like a bank robber.” 

“Well, it could be even more dangerous than that.” 

A few days passed as they tried to test the waters, sneaking around her, trying to flirt back and tease her just as much without slamming her against a wall or any surface they had near them. But nothing really happened, just her usual jokes, and light touches and then she would walk away as if nothing happened, leaving them high and dry. 

Their plan was to try to push her harder until she would’ve picked one of them and they couldn’t get mad at each other or fight over who should’ve tried their luck. But nothing. Not even a glimpse of intention of going all way with one of them. Just a long and gruelling torture made of teasings and sexual tension that wasn’t leading them anywhere.

“I’m telling you, I can’t do this tonight,” Jeno warned them, sipping on a cocktail as he leaned back against ‘their table’. They were at a beach party near their rented house, organised by some people they met there but it wasn’t like any of them could really care about the party when they had her. 

She was going around collecting drinks, and men, dancing on everybody, letting way too many foreign hands roam on her body and – worst of it all – she wouldn’t miss the chance to look and smirk at them when they casually faced the same way. 

“You say it every time and you didn’t fuck her yet,” Jaehyun sang, raising a brow before sipping from his drink too, eyes never leaving her body swinging in a man’s arms. 

Jeno glared at him and then clenched the glass tighter. “It’s not like I can force her, can I? And didn’t we have a pact between us? I’m just being nice with you guys because I’m more than sure that with some more talking she would fuck me with no hesitation.” 

“Would she?” Jaemin asked, peaking his head forward to look at him. “Because it looks like we’re all in the same boat.” 

“Then what do we do?” Johnny asked, shaking his hair out of his face, winking at her when their eyes met. 

“Man, I don’t know, if I had a solution to this problem I would’ve solved it,” Jeno replied. 

“Hey, guys.” There she was, chest panting, sweat pearling her skin, hair flying lightly in the sea breeze, and a bright smile on her face. A vision that made them all stop in their tracks and get lost in the shape of her body. “Guys?” 

“Yeah, uhm, yeah,” they replied, shaking their heads and swallowing, trying to hide the embarrassment of being caught, and luckily for them, she simply chuckled. “The drinks are already getting to your head, aren’t they? You really can’t take it anymore.” 

They all snickered and then Jeno replied, “no, we seriously can’t take it anymore.” 

“I’m getting bored here,” she pouted, squeezing in between Jeno and Johnny and wrapping her arms around their shoulders. “Can we go home and play something just between us?” 

“Bored? It seems like you are having so much fun, there,” Jaehyun joked, and Jeno hit his stomach with his elbow, making him groan in pain. 

“We can surely go home, now, as soon as possible,” he replied, pulling her away from the others.

“I need my shoes,” she whined, trying to push back. 

“Johnny will get them for you, we just have to walk on the sand, come on, now,” he insisted. “Want me to carry you? Want to see how strong I am?” 

The other rolled their eyes hearing his words and watching as he carried her to their place, their giggles fading in the distance.

“We better hurry before he seriously talks her through getting dicked down,” Jaehyun warned them. 

Once they were all inside, they decided to play beer pong, which wasn’t even beer. But whatever mix of alcohol they had put in was good. 

“So the winners get what?” Jaemin asked, reaching the other side of the table to stay at Johnny’s side to get ready to play.

“Nothing,” she replied, “it’s just for fun, why would you want to win something?”

“Then who loses should get a penalty, at least,” Jeno said. “Come on, there’s no fun with no penalties.”

“Swapping clothes with someone else,” she shrugged, grabbing the ping-pong ball.

“Hey, what’s the fun in that? If they lose they would wear your dress and you wear their big shirt and jeans?”

She chuckled, “What? Sad you won’t be able to stare at my body anymore?” 

Jeno coughed while the others laughed under their teeth. “I don’t stare at your body,” he retorted with an obvious lie. “But fine, clothes swapping for the losers.”

So they finally started playing, their team leading with 5-3 out of 10 points against Johnny and Jaemin, but they never reached the final game. She wasn’t dumb, she knew what was going on, they had never been so clingy, and it surely wasn’t because she needed help to play the game. Jaehyun and Jeno’s hands rested on her back for most of the time and Johnny and Jaemin were concentrated on everything but where to aim the ball.

“Would you please stop looking at me like this?” She asked, turning around to lean against the table, arms crossed in front of her chest, not throwing the ball but placing it in one of the glasses. 

“Like what?” Jeno asked, playing dumb.

She snickered, fanning her hair back, and curling her lips in a grin. “Like you want to fuck me.”

“What?” They all gasped, pretending to be shocked, shaking their heads, Johnny and Jaemin moving around the table to walk toward them. 

She scoffed, chuckling under her breath. “Seriously? What? I see the way you look at me,” she started saying, getting up and walking around them. “The way you’ve been looking at me since this holiday started,” she smirked, one finger running up and down Jeno and Jaemin’s bicep before she walked behind them and reached Johnny and Jaehyun, making them hold their breath in a weird mix of sexual tension and fear of having screwed their friendship up. “You know,” she whispered, walking away and sitting on the couch, legs crossed together and upper body leaning against the backrest, “I thought at least one of you had enough guts to man up and come ask me.” 

At the tease, Jaemin snapped, turning to stare at her better. “You think we’re not brave enough? 

She shrugged, moving her hair to the side. “Well, you’re there, drooling over me, jacking off thinking of me,” she smirked, eyes glinting at Jaemin that turned red in a second, so she heard him that day... “and yet…” she whispered in a huff, throwing her head back. 

“Fine,” Jeno snapped, turning to the boys, “if this is how you want it, we’re picking who gets to fuck you. Rock, paper, scissors.”

She laughed in disbelief. “You’re picking who gets to fuck me with that game? Like when we were kids and you had to choose who played my husband?”

“Yeah, why do you think none of us made the first move?” Jaehyun replied, hand still clenched in a fist, ready to play the game. “It’s a bro thing, it wouldn’t have been fair to us and to you. We were waiting for you to pick but you never made the first move either.”

A smile crossed her face before she turned it into a smirk, “Pick?” She asked, twirling a strand of hair in her finger. “Who says I want to pick?” 

They chuckled awkwardly, looking at each other and then at her to see if she was playing, if they were all in the same perverted and weird dream or if this was a just as sick and perverted reality. And when it turned out to be the latter, they all laughed. 

“Yeah, fine, nice joke, but you’re still not as funny as me,” Johnny said. 

She laughed too. “You seriously are so dumb at picking up signals,” she huffed, one hand moving to trail on her thigh, moving the dress up so slowly it felt like torture but none of them seemed to find the strength to move, it was like there was an invisible wall separating them. “I thought I was the loser, innocent one of our group but turns out that having fucked half of the earth’s population doesn’t make you smart either when it comes to this.” 

“Hey! We didn’t fuck half of the population,” Jaemin complained. “And you are the innocent one… well,” he gulped, getting lost in the way her fingers were tracing her body, moving up to her stomach, to her breast, to her neck and then back down, “you were.” 

She snickered, “So? Do I have to put on a show for you to get somewhere? Because apparently, the ones I’ve been putting on weren’t enough to make you grow some balls and confront me.” 

“Okay, you need to stop this,” Jeno warned, getting mad at the teasing. “We respect you.” 

“Yeah, and we’re friends and we’ve known each other for so long, we wiped your tears when those silly boys broke up with you because you weren’t ready to have sex,” she mocked, rolling her eyes back. “And I don’t care. I think we’ve crossed that line for a little while now, don’t you think so?” 

They looked at each other with a frown but then hummed. 

“So let’s cross it even physically,” she proposed, leaning forward. “If I have to regret something I want to regret the best fuck of my life, not some mental games that are bringing me no pleasure at all.” 

“Okay, is this seriously you, or did somebody exchange you?” Johnny asked, raising a brow, still not fully believing her words.

“People can change so much over a year, babe,” she winked. “But since you look so taken aback, I have a pretty long list of people at the beach that wouldn’t say no…” 

“No!” Jeno shouted, walking to her in a second and pushing her back down on the couch. “I don’t care what they say but I am not losing this chance with you tonight.” 

“Good,” she smirked. “And you? Want to play rock, paper, scissors with your morals and then decided what to do?” 

“Fuck it, I know what I want to do,” Jaehyun exclaimed, placing the cup down and walking toward her. 

“You two?” She asked one last time, smiling at the last two friends. And with just one last look at each other, they were all over her, lips hungrily kissing her skin and hands touching every inch of her body with much more vigor than in the past days. 

“Oh, wow,” she chuckled, “you truly were holding back these days.” 

“Shut up,” Jeno scolded against her ear. “You are such a fucking tease, you knew what you were putting us through.” 

She only giggled at his words, enjoying the others’ greedy attention. “As if you weren’t enjoying that.” 

“We hated that,” Johnny retorted. “Maybe we should teach you a little lesson. Give you a taste of your own medicine.” 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to do that,” she teased but got immediately shut down when Jeno kissed her harshly and tugged her hair, making her lips part in the kiss to let out a low whimper.

“Let us show you, dear,” he replied when he pulled away, standing up to get rid of his shirt. Her eyes trailed on his body, watching his muscles flex and having to close her slightly parted mouth to don’t drool at the sight. “Yeah, you love this, don’t you?” He teased, kneeling next to her again. “You could’ve had me much before if only you didn’t put up with your stupid teasing game.” 

“My stupid –”

“Shhh,” he shut her up with a finger on her lips, “no talking back, it’s useless.” 

She gulped, but couldn’t help to let a small smile creep on her face at this unknown side of him. She heard stories about Jeno in bed but well, they were best friends, she never dug too deep into them and now… 

“Look at you,” Jaehyun said in awe, “you really do love this.” He was a little taken aback, no matter how much he wanted her, he knew her, well, he thought he knew her, and he wasn’t so sure she could keep up with their rhythms and kinks but apparently, he was wrong. 

Johnny snickered when she hummed, smiling at Jaehyun. “Should we test just how much you love this?” He asked, letting his hands travel under her dress and gripping the elastic of the panties to slowly pull them down. “Should we see how far we can push you before it gets too much for our little, innocent best friend?” 

She smirked, humming lowly. “Or how much of me you can take.” 

“You’re still not done with your stupid games, I see,” Jeno huffed. “Well, we’ll put an end to this soon,” he said before unexpectedly lifting her up, making her gasp. “My bedroom, now,” he ordered to the others as he carried her upstairs on his shoulder. 

When they reached the bedroom, Jeno was on top of her, his hand already teasing her wet pussy while his lips kept tormenting the skin of her neck. 

“You’re so greedy,” Jaemin complained, jumping on the bed next to her, kissing her too, “you want everything to yourself.” 

“Not my fault you can’t keep up with me,” Jeno replied, pulling away and spreading her legs more. “And look at you,” he teased, fingers smearing her wetness and playing with her clit, “so wet already? Have you been thinking about us all night while you let those other men touch you?”

She hummed against Jaemin’s lips and gasped lowly when she felt Johnny’s lips wrap around her hard nipple.  

“You’re so pretty,” Jaehyun whispered, touching her thigh, but his eyes were stilled where Jeno’s fingers were still moving on her. 

“And excited,” Jeno added when two fingers slipped into her with ease. “Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

She whined, pulling away from Jaemin’s kiss. “Stop teasing, just fuck me already.” 

A burst of deep laughter rolled out of their lips, “Desperate little thing,” Johnny mocked. “I thought we had to get you nice and wet and slippery,” he whispered close to her ear, marking every word, reminding her what she had told him before, making her lift her gaze on him and suppress a moan when Jaehyun’s fingers slipped past her entrance too. “See,” he chuckled darkly, pulling away from her, “you have a lot to take, babe. You don’t want to break, right?” 

“I won’t break,” she bit back, huffing, head rolling back when Jeno and Jaehyun’s fingers started stretching her more, rubbing so against her walls.

“No, you won’t,” Jaemin whispered, kissing her chest and then biting down on her nipple, eliciting a soundless gasp from her. “You wanted this. Wanted all of us.” 

“Yeah, you won’t back down, right? Realize we’re more than you can take a run away like a scared little kitty?” Jeno teased, pushing one of her legs further down so it touched the mattress completely, exposing her more, making her whine as shame crept up. 

“Please, nobody believes you’re shy after all you’ve done these past days,” Jaehyun teased, moving her hands out of her face. 

“You can’t feel embarrassed with us, right?” Johnny cooed, caressing her cheek, blocking her wrists over her head so Jaehyun could focus completely on fingering her. “Your best friends. We’ve seen you grow,” he pouted while his free hand moved down to reach her clit, the stimulation so intense that she couldn’t find the strength to answer, making them all giggle lowly. 

“Just started and she’s already wrecked. This ‘s going to be fun,” Jeno whispered but she didn’t even get it, too caught up in the first orgasm approaching. She might’ve not been innocent like she was before – or like they thought she was before – but she had never done anything like this, four men all over her, touching, kissing, licking every inch of her body. A fantasy she wanted to try for so long but never imagined she would have the chance to, especially not with her best friends. 

“’M close,” she moaned, one hand wrapping around Jaemin’s hair while he was still pressed against her boobs sucking her nipple, and the other leaving marks on Johnny’s thigh. 

“Oh, already?” Jeno cooed, stilling his movements inside of her, making Jaehyun follow. 

“No, please, please, don’t stop. I’ve been good, why would you – shit – oh,” she gasped when they picked up again, laughing at her. 

“Just wanted to hear you beg,” Jeno replied, shrugging. “You know, you always demand in our friendship, always so good at making us do whatever you want.” 

“Can you please make me come?” She pleaded, fluttering her eyes at them. 

“See, why you never think about us?” Johnny huffed, quickening the pace on her sensitive clit, and then pushing two fingers into her mouth, freeing her wrists. “That’s better,” he cooed, “stop whining and just take what we give you.” 

She hummed around his digits, tightening the hold around Jaemin that never stopped torturing her nipples, and squirming under the other three’s hands. 

“Just because I can’t wait to be inside of you,” Jeno said, fingers pumping in and out harder, filling her when Jaehyun’s were out and vice versa, never stopping stimulating her, “come for us, come on,” he ordered. 

The first orgasm hit her hard, leaving her shaking already, and once she came down from the high they gave her no time to breathe. 

As soon as Johnny pulled his fingers out of her mouth, Jeno pushed his, covered in her cum, in, forcing them down her throat. “Taste yourself, babe,” he ordered. “Like this, so good.” 

“Are you ready for the real thing?” Jaemin asked, getting rid of all his clothes, thick cock springing out of his boxer, red tip leaking pre-cum, making her mouth part in awe. 

“Are you going to fuck me first?” 

“Want to complain even about that?” Jeno tsked, shaking his head. 

“I wasn’t complaining,” she glared at him, sitting up and crawling to Jaemin to kiss him.

“Want to fuck your ass,” he confessed against her lips, making her pull away and chuckle nervously as she stared at him with a furrow on her face.

“Oh, princess has never been fucked in the ass before,” Johnny laughed at her expression. 

“No, I…” she started mumbling but Jaemin kissed her again, hands travelling down to cup her full ass and squeeze it in his palms, eliciting a low moan from her. 

“It will feel good, baby,” he cooed. “You trust me, right? You know Nana won’t ever hurt you.” The sweet – yet, condescending – tone of his voice made the other chuckle at his attempt to ease her into this but she found it normal, it was a usual Jaemin trick, it couldn’t have led to anything dangerous, right? Anyway, she did trust him and she was willing to try. 

“Just… prep me,” she whimpered when his fingers grazed her sensitive rim. 

A big proud smile crept on Jaemin’s face. “Fuck, I love you,” he exclaimed before signaling her to lay on the bed with her face against the mattress. 

She closed her eyes when the lewd sound of his spit hitting her rim resonated in the room and his lips started working on her, moving with precision and yet eating her out as if she was his last meal. But the sweet gestures stopped soon when his finger slipped past her rim. 

“You’re so tight, baby,” he cooed, his sweet tone hiding the devilish smirk on his face as he watched her body hardly taking him. “Need a little help?” 

She hummed, nodding, cheeks brushing against the sheets, and eyes squeezed as she tried to relax around his finger, pain mixing with pleasure. It wasn’t that terrible but it still was a weird feeling.

“I don’t think we have lube,” Jeno said before spitting on her ass loudly. 

“Ugh,” she moaned, thighs squeezing together and breath faltering. 

“Oh,” he whispered, lifting a brow, “you like that…” 

“You’re so fucking filthy,” Jaehyun mocked, watching the scene with curios eyes.

“Well, since you love this so much, it will work,” Jaemin shrugged, moving his finger faster inside of her when another string of saliva rolled out of Jeno’s mouth.  

“No, what… what if it’ll hurt?” She managed to breathe out, shaking her head, trying to lift her body up from the mattress but Johnny held her right in place, pushing her further down. 

“It won’t hurt, alright? You can take it,” he said, caressing her back. “But… since it’s you, I’ll go see if I have some.” 

“Tha-thank you,” she mumbled, voice dying in her throat when Jaemin added another finger after he spat on her again. 

“Oh, please, it’s not hurting, your pussy is dripping on the sheets. You love this.” 

“Mmph, yeah, but – but – fuck – you’re big, so big,” she breathed out, hiding her face in the pillows from embarrassment. 

“Oh, little red riding hood got herself in trouble?” Jeno teased, caressing her hair gently before tugging at it and turning her face to the side again. “Fell into the big bad wolf trap imagining you could take it?” 

“I can take it,” she retorted, knitting her brows but only making him snicker. 

“Whining a little too much for someone that’s sure about her abilities.” 

She simply groaned, closing her eyes again and trying to relax even more around Jaemin’s fingers. 

“Here it is,” Johnny exclaimed, entering the room again and throwing the bottle at Jeno that caught it swiftly.

“I liked the spit better but anyway,” Jeno shrugged before squirting a big amount of the liquid on her rim. 

A louder moan rolled out of her lips when the cold liquid dripped inside her and Jaemin’s fingers started moving faster now that there was no friction against her insides. 

“And man, move, she’s ready,” Jeno huffed impatiently.  

“Can you please have some patience? She loves this so much, just look at her,” Jaemin replied, eyes drifting from him to the string of cum that was drooling out of her pussy and the way her ass was clenching around his three fingers. 

“Yes, and imagine how much she’d love your cock,” he replied with a fake kind smile on his face. “Tell him, babe,” he ordered, tugging her hair again and arching her back, “tell him how badly you need your pretty ass to be filled with his big cock.”

The nasty words and the condescending tone made her insides twitch, pussy clenching around nothing and mouth opening wider. “Need you,” she mumbled, trying to open her eyes and tilt her head more to look at Jaemin. 

Johnny chuckled, pushing her upper body up completely, cupping her cheeks and squeezing tight. “Tell him exactly what you need. We know you’re not innocent so stop fucking pretending.” 

She gulped, falling on her hands when Johnny let go without a warning. “Jaem,” she whispered, looking past her shoulders, “need your – mmh – need your cock to fuck my ass, please,” she moaned, nails gripping the sheets when he stuffed his thumb into her wet pussy, cutting the air out of her lungs. “Please, please, fuck me hard. Jaemin, please.” 

He smirked, a low snicker rolling past his lips. “As you wish, princess,” he replied, pulling out, watching as her holes clenched around nothing before he grabbed his dick and lined it against her swollen hole. He leaned against her back, lips brushing against her ear, “but just know I won’t be treating you as one.” He smirked before bottoming out completely, thick dick stretching her more than his three fingers did, making her gasp and collapse against the mattress again, body going limp under him. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, throwing his head back and holding her waist tight, “feels so good.” 

“Wait, wait,” she mumbled, trying to stand on her hands again but Jeno pushed her down another time. “No, the condom, the – fuck – Jaemin.” 

“We’re clean,” Jeno replied instead. “We told you we care for you. Do you really want to see the test results, now?” 

She opened her mouth to speak, mumbling something, “You – fuck – you checked yourself?” She asked in disbelief, honestly, it was good but fuck, how desperate they were? How much were they rooting for this to happen? 

“Of course, we did,” Jaehyun replied. “Your safeness comes first.” 

“You’re – shit – fuck, okay, I guess, I…” 

“I think you should just shut up now and relax,” Jaemin shut her midway, slapping her ass cheek. “You said you trusted us. You do trust us, right?” 

She nodded, trapping her lower lip between her teeth when he started hitting deeper and faster. 

“Tell us that you do,” Jaehyun said, tapping her cheek gently. “Come on.” 

“I – I trust you,” she cried, “I trust you – mmph – so much.” 

“Good girl,” Johnny cooed. “But I need to feel you, too.” 

Her eyes snapped open at his words. “N-now?” 

A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest. “What, baby? Too much? You didn’t even see me, yet.” 

She snorted, squirming under Jaemin, “I don’t need to see you, fuck.” 

“Oh, those rumors spread fast, John,” Jeno joked, hitting him playfully. 

Johnny chuckled, “Don’t you want to find out if the rumors are true, baby?” 

She nodded, pretty much mindlessly, too caught up in the way Jaemin’s cock was rubbing against her walls and hitting so well inside of her making her head spin miles per hour to really think about what she was putting herself into. 

When Johnny freed himself out of his briefs she gasped loudly before her eyes shily reached up to meet his eyes, a proud, evil, smirk on his handsome face. That was always his favourite part. 

“Don’t worry, honey,” he purred, fingers under her chin to close her open mouth, “I know how to use it, it won’t hurt.” 

She nodded, not really sure about it… if it was only him, maybe… but it was two at the same time, and Jaemin wasn’t that much smaller than him so… Though she didn’t have much time to dwell on it. 

“Can you stop fucking her for a second and let me get under her?” Johnny huffed, glaring at Jaemin that unwillingly stopped his movements and waited for Johnny to manhandle her and position himself under her. 

“Fuck, Jaemin’s right, your cunt is dripping,” he moaned when he pushed his fat tip against her hole, feeling how wet she was. “Love getting your tiny hole fucked hard by him?” He teased, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at him. 

“Ye-yeah, he’s good,” she moaned, hands struggling to stand against something to keep her body up and don’t fall forward against him at any hard stroke of Jaemin; he didn’t waste time picking up again as soon as Johnny slipped under her body.

“Come on, fuck her too, need to see how tighter – fuck – she can get,” the younger moaned, stopping once again just to enjoy to the fullest the feeling of her insides getting filled more by Johnny’s dick, too. 

Her head fell forward when Johnny eased into her, mouth agape feeling like she was being split in two, no matter how wet she was. 

“Fuck, too much,” she cried out, squeezing her eyes shut and digging her nails into Johnny’s biceps. 

“Shh, you’re doing good,” he calmed her, starting to pull out slowly, “taking us so well.” 

She wept, whining mindlessly and soon after all the mercy disappeared as they both started fucking her again, sending her so close to the edge. 

“I think, I…” she gasped, “I think I’m gonna come.” 

“Oh, wasn’t that too much?” Jeno mocked. 

“But ‘s good, so good.” 

A mocking laugh came out of Johnny’s lips while his hand wrapped around her cheeks, thumb brushing against her parted lips. “A little bit pathetic don’t you think so?” Her teary eyes stared back at him before her head rolled back and another orgasm hit when they both slammed hard inside of her, knocking the air out of her lungs. 

Jeno snickered, an amused smirk on his face. “They barely started fucking you and you already came? Seriously?” 

“You’re having fun, baby, aren’t you?” Jaehyun teased, fingers grazing her neck to turn her toward him. 

“Yeah,” she breathed out, nails digging into Johnny’s shoulders, where she was trying to keep the balance, and ass bouncing back against Jaemin, making him groan at the sight. 

“Wanted this – fuck – for so long,” Jaemin moaned, hips slapping against her flesh, nails leaving marks on the skin of her waist. “Dreamed about your ass every fucking day.”

“I – I don’t think I can – mhh – last more.” The words struggled to come out of her mouth as her body slumped forward against Johnny. 

“I’m sure you can,” Jeno replied, lifting her upper body up again, holding her in place. “Are you tired already?” 

“I – I don’t know.” She truly had no idea what she felt, it was good but surely tiring too, she wasn’t used to anything like this. 

“Oh, poor baby,” he sang with a mocking tone, fingers brushing against her burning cheeks. “I’m sure you just need a little bit of support more. Jaehyun, come here.” 

“What?” The other asked, unwillingly drifting his eyes from where Johnny and Jaemin were fucking her, and stopping the strokes on his cock. 

“You heard me, come here,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “Our little girl needs another one.” 

“A-another one?” She asked, eyes widening, words choking her as she felt the other two deeper than ever inside of her. 

“I thought you were dying to get with her,” Jaehyun said in confusion, but he stopped caring about his friend as soon as he moved around and got to see her wrecked face and her tits bounce back and forth at every thrust. 

“I have special plans,” Jeno smirked, leaving a soft – and yet somehow scary – kiss on her cheek. 

“Come here,” her attention was soon back on Jaehyun that was tapping his fingers against her cheek, hard dick in hand and a terrible urge to fuck her too written in his eyes. “Open your mouth,” he ordered and she followed, lips parting even more and tongue rolling out, making him groan loudly. “Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

“And dirty,” Johnny muttered through gritted teeth, trying to don’t come just at the lewd scene in front of his eyes, but watching her welcome all Jaehyun’s length inside of her as her eyes rolled back, was making it all too difficult. Especially considering how hot and tight her pussy was and how hard she was squeezing him. 

“Yeah, just like that,” Jaehyun moaned when he bottomed against her throat. “Can you suck me or do I have to fuck that pretty little face?” He asked, naturally receiving no answer since she couldn’t talk, already struggling to don’t choke on his thick cock while the other two kept pushing her toward him. 

“Just fuck her face,” Jeno said. “I told you she needs more support.” 

When Jaehyun held her up by the hair and started thrusting into her mouth she felt her body go limp into their hold. The pleasure of being stimulated everywhere got to her mind, making her body shake into their holds and her brain shut down little by little. 

“You’re so good at this, I can’t believe you fooled us for so long,” Jeno said, smacking her ass, making her whimper.

“Do it again,” Jaemin moaned, rolling his head back when she clenched around him, “she loves it.”

“Oh, does she?" Jeno asked, smirking as his hand met her ass again in a loud smack. “Look at you,” he teased with a mocking tone, his big hand still roaming on the skin of her ass, “never thought I’d say this, but you look so pretty stuffed with cocks. Don’t you?” He teased, moving his hand to touch her spit-streaked chin where Jaehyun was still slamming against, and smearing the mess around instead of wiping it away. 

“She does,” Johnny moaned, nails digging deeper into the flesh of her waist. “So vulnerable for us.”

“Fuck, I’m – mmh – not gonna last long,” Jaemin groaned, “you’re squeezing me so tight. You love this, don’t you? Love having your little ass fucked hard. Shit, never thought you’d let me."

She gasped hard, struggling to breathe again when Jaehyun pulled out of her mouth. 

“Has anybody ever fucked you here before?” Jaemin asked.

She shook her head, “N-no, nobody.”

“Fuck, baby, your first time? And you’re already so good.”

She wanted to answer something but Jaehyun started fucking her mouth once again, making her eyes roll back in pleasure as she could feel another orgasm approach.

“Shit,” Johnny moaned, hips slamming hard up against her, “you’re so cock drunk, look at you. So fucked up I bet you have nothing in your smart brain, do you?”

She whimpered around Jaehyun’s length and they all laughed.

“It’s fine baby, it’s fine,” Johnny cooed, caressing her cheek before his hand slipped down, wrapping around her neck. “You don’t have to think. You just have to let go and trust us.”

She hummed, walls clenching harder when he kept pressing and then letting go around her neck, alternating the flow of air, making her head get even dizzier.

“Fuck, just like this,” Jaehyun moaned when her eyes opened and were rolled back, the view enough to make him groan harder. “Just look pretty for us. Our pretty, precious baby.”

“A pretty babydoll,” Jeno added. “A pretty toy that loves being filled and used by her best friends.”

“Yeah, right, keep clenching. We’re gonna come,” Johnny moaned when, listening to Jeno’s words, her cunt throbbed tighter around them.

She splurted and coughed when her mouth was free once again.

"Come fast, I’m not gonna come in her mouth,” Jaehyun urged, wiping away all the drool on her face. 

“Keep – keep going,” she moaned, head falling forward against Johnny’s shoulder. “Feels so good.”

“Gonna fill you up,” Jaemin moaned, grabbing her hair and pushing her flat against his chest. “Do you want it, baby? Do you want my cum?”

“Yeah – yeah, please...”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit,” he cursed, hips slapping more messily against her, “take it, take all my – mmph – my cum,” Jaemin groaned, coming inside of her, cum filling her and triggering her orgasm too. 

“Shit,” Johnny moaned, rolling his head back when due to the orgasm she squeezed more around him, “take mine too, come on, want to see you – fuck – full of us.” 

Louder moans came out of her mouth when he emptied into her too and they kept fucking her shallowly, stimulating her more. 

“God, so good,” Jaemin moaned, pulling out, groaning when his cum dripped out of her gaping ass and fell onto the bedsheets. “Are you okay?” He asked, making circles on the burning skin of her butt with his thumb. 

“She is,” Jaehyun huffed, moving to take his place, not giving her time to answer. Not like she could answer anyway, feeling too drowsy. “Come on, you had your fun.” 

“Damn, why are yall so greedy,” he huffed, stepping to the side to leave him room to fuck her too. 

She could barely process anything, mind still dazed by the pleasure, and high on the way she was being moved around, Johnny lifting her up to move from underneath her and Jaehyun turning her over. 

“Want to fuck you too,” Jaehyun said, spreading her legs more, making more cum spill out of her. “Fuck,” he groaned, throwing his head back when he sank into her, “your mouth’s good but this – shit – is so much better.” 

She moaned, throwing her head back when he grabbed her ankles and placed them on his shoulders. “Too much,” she mumbled, eyes opening to find a teasing smirk on Jeno’s face over her. 

“Did they break you already?” He asked, mocking her. 

“No, mhh, he’s too big.” The words barely came out as her eyes squeezed shut, chest panting as he stretched her out more. 

“I’m sure you can take it,” Jaehyun said, starting to move faster and leaning closer to her, pressing her legs closer to her chest, reaching even deeper. 

“I’m gonna come,” she screamed, hearing them snicker. 

“So soon again?” Johnny teased, placing two fingers under her chin and turning her face around so she could look at him. 

“Ye-yeah, ‘s too good,” she replied before feeling another orgasm ripple through her when Jaehyun’s fingers started moving on her clit. Her hips bucked up whether it was because of the pleasure or because she felt it was getting too much, she had no idea. 

“Shit,” Jaehyun cursed. “Gonna fill you up, you feel too good, fuck,” he groaned before his orgasm hit too, hips faltering and stilling inside of her as he came hard. “Lord,” he exhaled, smiling and pulling out, “you did so good,” he praised, moving her hair back before standing up and leaving her there, trying to catch her breath, not even understanding anymore who was touching her. 

She laid against the mattress, already feeling worn out, when Jeno’s strong hands turned her over. 

“Hi, pretty,” he cooed, a sadist smirk on his face as he hovered over her, brushing her hair away from her face, “my turn, now.” 

“I – I don’t think I can,” she mumbled, lashes fluttering as her watery eyes adjusted the focus on him. 

“Oh, no, honey, I’m sure you’re not so tired,” he said, slipping two fingers inside her sopping wet hole, making her moan, and squeeze her thighs together, but Jeno let out a mocking laugh and pushed them apart again. “I know you destroy yourself when you’re alone, right?” He whispered, leaving small bites on her neck and collarbones while his fingers kept moving in and out. “That’s what you do when you don’t answer our calls, too busy destroying this pretty pussy, yeah? Convincing yourself that your fingers are enough, but you need so much more.”

She shook her head, chest panting harder. “N-no.”

“Oh, noo?” He mocked. “I’m sure you give yourself so many orgasms you can take me,” he growled, pulling his fingers out of her and then turning her around swiftly, making her gasp in surprise. “What, doll? You love my arms, you asked so many questions about my muscles and now you get to see what this body does,” he whispered against her ear, pushing her upper body close to the edge of the bed and arching her back up, right knee planting against the mattress at one side and left feet on the other.  

“Oh, fuck,” she cried when he entered her in one go. “I – I thought you were – shit,” she whimpered when he started moving right away, “mmph, thought you were going to fuck my –”  

“Your cunt?” He asked, snickering, tugging her hair again. “I thought that too, dreamed about being inside your pussy for a week straight,” he moaned, the other hand holding tight on her waist, “but Jaemin’s right, your ass is – fuck – too amazing to be left alone.” 

“Don’t act like you’re not all stretched out already,” Johnny said, thumb wiping away the drool that was dripping from her open mouth. “Jaemin fucked you so well before. You loved it, didn’t you?” 

She hummed, shaking her head in approval but barely registering his words, just mumbling ‘yes’ and pleas as Jeno’s hips slammed hard against her ass and his hand held her up by the hair. 

“Your ass feels so good,” he moaned, pulling her cheeks apart, her head rolled down if only Johnny didn’t force her up again and cupped her chin to kiss her rough, “but I’m not going to miss out on how your pussy feels,” he said and, before she could even realize he had pulled out, he was already inside of her again, but this time in her pussy. 

She mumbled something against Johnny’s lips but Jeno only snorted and said, “it’s fine, honey, it’s fine. Shit, you feel too good. Are all your holes so good? Are you so good at everything?” 

“Need to try her mouth,” Jaemin said. “Want to be filled to the brim again, umh?” 

“Look at how desperate you are,” Johnny mocked when, as soon as he moved to the side and Jaemin stood in front of her, she pushed her tongue out and looked up at him with pleading eyes. “So eager to give us what we want, you’re such a kind girl.” 

“Or maybe she’s just a cock-addict,” Jeno mocked, slapping her ass, making her moan louder. “Is that what you are? Is that what you truly are behind the – fuck – nice, innocent, virgin girl?” 

She whimpered, arching her ass more and trying to fuck back against him but another smack followed. “Answer me when I ask you a question.” 

“Mhh, yes – fuck – that’s what I am,” she moaned, throwing her head back, giving Jaemin the chance to block her there as he grabbed a fistful of her hair and tapped the tip of his cock against her lips.

“Open up, come on, I know you know how to use that pretty mouth,” Jaemin said, moaning loudly when she opened up and he eased in, feeling the warmth of her mouth. 

Her mind almost blanked out when they found a rhythm and pushed in and out of her alternately. Jeno’s thrusts were slightly rougher, while Jaemin seemed almost gentle but still made sure to go all the way in and make her gag at every stroke. 

“Say it again,” Jeno ordered, pulling out again and thrusting back into her other hole. “Who are you?”

Jaemin pulled out, making her drool some spit and cough, “I – I’m a cock addict,” she almost screamed when his thrusts started getting faster. “That’s all I am.” 

“Aww, she’s turning into a whimpering mess,” Jaehyun cooed when she started sucking Jaemin again since he let her more freedom and enjoyed the way her cheeks hollowed and her eyes tried to stay open and look up at him. 

“That’s right,” Jeno moaned, slipping out again to penetrate her cunt again. “She’s being such a perfect doll for us. No thoughts left in that pretty smart brain of yours, fuck,” he groaned. “Just full of how it – fuck – how good it feels to be filled from both ends.” 

“You’re sucking so well,” Jaemin praised, moving the hair out of her face and pulling out to let her breathe. “You got Johnny and Jaehyun so hard again, how are you going to fix their little problem another time, umh? You’ll suck their cocks too? Or will let them fill you up again?” 

Although he didn’t give her time to answer all those questions, not that she would’ve had a single coherent thought in her brain anyway. Jeno was too good at what he was doing. As wrong and dirty and humiliating that back and forth from her holes was, she found it incredibly hot, and the alternation of stimulation was driving her insane. And sucking on Jaemin’s heavy cock while Johnny and Jaehyun jacked off made her turn into a mess even more. 

“Wonna wome,” she mumbled, choking on Jaemin’s dick. 

“Do it, I’m so curious to see how many orgasms we’ll drag out of you tonight,” Jeno chuckled with a smirk on his face. “Will we beat your personal record, sweetie?” 

She didn’t answer, only let the pleasure run through her, feeling her body get limper, and if only Jeno’s arm didn’t wrap around her waist and held her up, she would’ve collapsed on the mattress. 

“Stay here, I’ve got you,” Jeno whispered, pushing her upper body up and holding her close to his toned chest. 

“Hey, I didn’t come,” Jaemin whined. 

“I didn’t come either and this is my turn,” Jeno barked back, one hand wrapping around her neck without pressing and the other reaching front to play with her clit. 

“No, no, I’m – don’t – shit,” she whimpered, squirming under his touch, body trembling at the stimulation.

“I told you,” he whispered in her ear, “I’ve got you, and I won’t stop until you fall apart in my hands.” 

A louder moan escaped her throat at his words, head rolling back and body going slack against him. Doing nothing but taking everything he had to give. 

“You can still use your hands, right, pretty?” Johnny asked, jumping on the bed next to them and grabbing her hand, wrapping it around his cock. 

“Do they seriously have to guide you?” Jeno mocked when, instead of moving her hands on their dicks, she let them move their hands up and down. “You can do so much better than that,” he encouraged, kissing her neck. “Weren’t you the one always bragging about being able to – fuck – do so many things at once?” 

“Yeah, you were so good at studying so many subjects at once, what happened? Can’t use your brain anymore?” Johnny taunted not holding her hand anymore, waiting for her to do it herself and she did, slowly, feeling her arms too tired for that. 

“Just like that,” Jaemin moaned, rolling his head back before bringing his eyes back on her. “Look at you, do you even know what you’re doing, baby?” 

“How can she when I’m fucking her so well,” Jeno said, quickening the pace on her clit, making her let out broken moans. “Can’t take it anymore, right babe?” 

“N-no, I – ugh,” she gave up, not even knowing what to say or what to ask for. It was overwhelming having so many men around to take care of. 

“I think she wants more attention on her, isn’t it?” Jaehyun teased, kneeling in front of her to kiss her, her body pressed between his and Jeno’s while Johnny and Jaemin’s hands started roaming on it. She was surrounded, overwhelmed, hands falling slack against her side as she let herself get lulled in bliss and attention. Feeling powerless, but not in a scary way. It was good, weirdly comfortable considering what they were doing.

“Greed has always been one of your flaws,” Johnny grinned, seeing how more relaxed she had gotten as soon as they were all over her, once again not having to do anything but just take. 

“Our spoiled girl,” Jaemin teased, grinning before he started sucking her nipple. 

But before the moment could last much longer she was bent over again, three cocks in front of her face while her best friends begged her silently to take care of their aching boners. 

“You can use your mouth just for a bit,” Jaehyun said, caressing her hair. “Just til we come.” 

“Yeah, we promise,” Johnny cooed, “just until we come.” 

So she parted her lips and took Jaemin into her mouth, lifting her eyes and relaxing her jaw, telling him to don’t let her do all the job but use her mouth like a fleshlight. Fuck her until they needed to because she had no more strength to suck and do anything else. 

And it didn’t take long for him to come in her mouth. “Swallow everything,” he ordered, pulling out to aim at her tongue. “Shit, so good.” And Jaehyun followed soon after, he couldn’t even just stand and watch, he had to jack off as he patiently – not so patiently –waited and after a few minutes inside her warm mouth, he came, spilling down her throat. Johnny barely felt what her mouth felt like, not really caring about it, but just wanting to make a mess on her face. “Close your eyes – fuck – and tongue out,” he ordered and she obeyed, pink muscle sticking out of her swollen lips waiting for his cum that landed everywhere but there basically, painting her face.

“God, finally stopped fucking her mouth,” Jeno groaned, pulling her body up again and kissing her harshly, “want to have her all to myself.”

“That’s not how it works, though,” Jaehyun reminded him. 

“You already had your turn, now it’s mine,” he remarked. “Tell them, baby. Tell them you need my cock, come on.” 

She felt her body give up and her voice falter but then whispered, “wa-want his cock, need his cock.” 

“You heard her,” he groaned, pulling out and flipping her with her back against her mattress, pushing her body back in the middle of the bed. “Come here, legs on my shoulders,” he ordered and when she couldn’t lift them up he grabbed her ankles and placed them on his shoulders. “And take my cock,” he groaned when he pushed back inside her pussy. “That’s it. You’re tired, kitty? This is so much more than you bargained for, isn’t it? But you don’t – fuck – you don’t have to do anything but just stay right there and take it.” 

She rolled her head back, head getting dizzier at the way his cock was dragging along her insides and his words, his tone, his hands tormenting every inch of her skin until they moved to grab her wrists and pin them over her head. 

“Look at the mess you are,” he panted, “there’s nothing of the well-behaved girl we knew, just a – fuck – pretty brainless cum drunk doll,” he cooed, squeezing her cheeks, forcing her lips to part. “That’s it, keep your mouth open for me,” he ordered before spitting on her tongue. “Swallow it,” he groaned. “That’s it, good girl. Good fucking girl.” A smirk curled his lips when he felt the way her cunt tightened around him. “You love this so much,” he exhaled between surprise and amusement. “Can’t – fuck – can’t believe we thought you were some kind of virgin vanilla silly girl but noo,” he mocked, forcing her mouth open again by grabbing her chin, “you are a filthy mess,” another blob of spit dripped from his mouth to her. “Don’t swallow,” he ordered, making her furrow as she tried to obey. “Right, keep it there,” he cooed. “Don’t pretend you don’t like this, you’re squeezing me.” 

“You’re so gross,” Johnny taunted from the side, getting lost in the sight of her open mouth, and the way her chest was panting so hard while Jeno slammed into her mercilessly. “Yeah, you are,” he hummed when she shook her head. “Bet this is not even everything that turns you on, there’s so much more filth in your little brain.” 

“Do you want to swallow it? Want to answer him – fuck – and tell him all you like?” Jeno taunted, smirking when she nodded swiftly. “Do it, swallow my spit.” 

“I – Jeno, I can’t take it anymore,” she cried as soon as she could talk again, nails dragging into his back. “No more, I can’t.” 

“You didn’t answer him,” he scolded. “Why don’t you tell us another one of your fantasies?” 

She groaned, feeling her body burn up in shame and the orgasm keeping her right over the edge. “I don’t – fuck – I don’t have any.” 

“Oh, so lying to us again,” he huffed, squeezing her wrists tighter and stopping thrusting into her. “Just one or I won’t let you come.” 

“No,” she screamed, eyes snapping open. 

“Come on, angel,” Jaemin whispered, caressing her burning cheek, “just one little thing you’d like to try.” 

Her lips quivered, looking into his eyes. “I don’t – I don’t have them.” 

“Then what was all of this, tonight?” Johnny asked, snickering, hand moving on her clit. “Let’s see if this will make something pop up into your empty brain.” 

“No – no – I can’t come,” she cried, writhing under both him and Jeno. 

“Then tell us something,” Jaehyun said. “We can make all your dreams come true.” 

“I – I – Johnny, please,” she wept, breath faltering and walls squeezing around Jeno’s still cock, making her curse inside her brain. 

“You don’t want me to come in your mouth, right? Then stop pretending to be so innocent and tell us what you like,” Jeno ordered, dragging out of her and then slamming inside again. “Oh, and you still can’t come until you tell us.” 

“I – I like – I like what we did,” she whimpered, biting her lips when Johnny’s fingers started moving faster on her clit. 

“No, no, honey, you’re not getting away with it,” Johnny sang, clicking his tongue.

She whined louder, trying to think about anything and then one thing came into her mind. “I – I think – I want to be – mmph – I want to be filmed,” she whimpered, voice dropping low with every word feeling shame take over once again. 

They chortled, looking at each other with a smirk. 

“You want to be filmed?” Jaemin asked incredulously, watching as she tried to hide her face but with no success since Jeno was still holding her hands together. 

“You don’t even want us to take normal pictures of yourself but you want to be filmed during sex?” Jaehyun asked, eyebrow raised in a furrow but lips curled in a small amused smirk.

“I told you she was hiding so many more secrets,” Johnny chuckled, even if he knew that wasn’t the wildest thing she was into. But who knew, maybe he would’ve had another chance to drag them out of her mind. 

“And do you like – fuck – taking videos on your own, princess?” Jeno teased, leaning in more, pressing her legs closer to her chest, seeing how she couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

“N – no,” she replied breathly, silently begging him to let her come when she found the courage to meet his eyes that were already staring at her. 

“No? Don’t set your phone up and use your ring light to get a perfect view of your dripping pussy?” 

“I’m sure she does,” Johnny replied instead, fingers still moving on her. “That’s why you never let us close to your phone.” 

“You don’t?” Jeno teased when she shook her head, denying it. “Maybe you should – fuck – and send them to us so we don’t – fuck – forget how good your pussy feels.” 

“Mhh,” she hummed mindlessly. “Can’t – can’t take it more, please, Jeno, please, let me – mmph – come.” 

“Come,” he said, he couldn’t hold it any longer either. “Yes, fuck, squeeze me just like that,” he moaned, going crazy at the way she was clenching around him as she came all over his cock, hips rolling against him and mouth falling open, pleasure getting so much in her head that no sounds came out of there.

“Shit, you do feel good,” he exhaled, leaning closer, resting his forehead against hers as his hips kept fucking in and out lazily riding their orgasms, cum filling her up, mixing with Johnny and Jaehyun’s. “You took us so well,” he whispered, kissing her lips more gently than before and freeing her wrists from his hold.  

“Pretty impressive for a first time,” Johnny chuckled, pulling away from her to stand up from the bed and stretch. 

“Fuck,” Jeno huffed, rolling next to her, after pulling out, making her cringe at the sensation of their cum dripping down her thighs. “That wasn’t on my do-to list when we planned this holiday.” 

“This wasn’t on any of our do-to lists,” Jaemin replied, brushing her hair back and leaving a peck on her lips. “You okay?” He asked, his sweet smile on his face again. 

She hummed, smiling weakly, and snuggling close to Jeno that opened his arms, hand caressing her scalp. “Yeah, but I need some water and a wet cloth to clean this mess you made... maybe some food if I find the strength to sit up.” 

“Who gets what?” Jaehyun asked, looking at the other two that were already up. 

Johnny and Jaemin looked at each other, grinning, “Rock, paper, scissors?” 

Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think, feedback is always appreciated. For more support consider donating! ♡

part two: here

[gaysindistress]

Limits of a Fae Heart - five

Pairings: Azriel x Reader Summary: With war looming over their heads, the Inner Circle is desperate for a solution. The one they found comes in the form of a resurrected female who’s fated to not only their Shadowsinger but once to their enemy as well. Word count: 3.4k Warnings: reader is AFAB, mentions of the female body/parts, cursing, sexual content (p in v), spitting but it's hot, choking, slight dom/sub vibes, I'm actually awful at tagging things but there's smut. for the love of all things holy, do not read if you are a minor. One | two | three | four | six

taglist: @dr4g0ngirl @isa1b2h3 @sidthedollface2

Cassian has made it known several times that the tension between Azriel and I is getting on his nerves. He’s not so casually told us to get a room many times since the morning he interrupted us. It’s truly only been a couple of days but with just the three of us to keep each other company, we’re all starting to go a little mad. 

Then again watching an abandoned camp for days on end because your high lord said so would do that to anyone.

By the fourth day of watching and edging closer to the camp with absolutely nothing to show for it, Cassian approaches me as I’m sitting by the fire, trying to warm my stiff body. He plops himself down next to me and lets out a dramatic sigh as he leans back on his hands. I don’t spare him a glance and he lets out another sigh. I look over at him to see him already giving me a playful but annoyed look. 

“Yesss?” I ask as I stick my hands closer to the flames.

“When are we going to be done with this boring stake out? The camp has been abandoned for close to a week now and unless I’m blind, there’s no reason for us to be here anymore.”

“If you’re asking to go home, just ask.”

“Fine, can I go home? You and Azzie boy can stay here and stare lustfully at each other all you want but I would like to go home and have a proper bath.”

Right on cue, Azzie Boy materializes out of a pocket of shadows and glances between the two of us. A hint of jealous shots down the bond as he takes in how close Cassian and I are. It quickly disappears as Cassian scoots over with a loud huff. 

“Well what’s your answer?” he demands lightheartedly and an arched brow.

Azriel narrows his eyes at his brother and sits across from us, the flames illuminating every inch of his sun kissed face. 

“I planned on going into the camp tomorrow and if I found nothing, then we could leave but I think Azriel and I can handle it ourselves,” I say looking from Cassian to Azriel, who’s already staring at me. He was probably wondering what Cassian was referring to but realization relaxes his face and he nods in agreement. 

Cassian claps his hands together, “Alright it’s settled then. Don’t kill each other and I’ll see you two tomorrow!”

It’s almost pitiful how excited he is to return to Velaris but it’s even more pathetic how quickly he’s on his feet and flying away. 

Azriel leans back against the fallen tree that lays behind him and props one leg up as his shadows drop an apple into his awaiting palm. He’s purposely staying silent; baiting me to initiate conversation and toying with me by pulling out his beloved Truth Teller and using it to carve the red fruit with impressive precision.

His shadows dance around me meanwhile a few brave and handsy ones find their way under my sweater and undershirt and nuzzle against my bare skin. I gasp at their snuggly behavior and go to shake them out when his voice stops me. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” 

“What does that mean?”

He chuckles as he eats a piece of apple off of the truth teller. “They don’t like when you push them away. Puts them on edge and then they don’t listen to anyone.”

I don’t heed his warning and shake them out anyways, causing them to let out a sound akin to a growl. They immediately find their way back under my clothes and practically mold themselves to my body so I can’t get rid of them so easily again. 

“Told you.”

“By the cauldron,” I groan as I attempt to swat them away, “tell them to leave me alone. They’re freezing.”

He stops his carving and looks at me curiously, tilting his head to the side slightly as his hazel eyes rake over me. “And why would I do that? They’re perfectly fine where they’re at.”

I send him an annoyed glare before I climb to my feet and walk towards the tent for another night of restlessness.

“Where are you going, sweet girl?”

“What have I said about calling me that?”

He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me with an intense gaze and an almost feral smirk.

“And where does it look like I’m going? To bed obviously,” I say in a clipped tone and gesture to the tent. 

“No you’re going to lay there and flop around until the crack of dawn. Come here.” The shadows imprinted onto me do their singer’s bidding and push me back towards him. 

“Excuse me!”

He cuts off what was inevitably going to be a tepid attempt at a lecture from me. “Enough of that. Come sit next to me.”

With the shadows wrapped tightly around me and pulling at me, I don’t exactly have a choice but follow their lead. They finally ease up when I’m sitting beside him, almost shoulder to shoulder and he offers me a slice of apple. 

“What’s that look for?” he asks when I look between him and the slice with a scrunched up expression.

“When did you become so commanding?”

“You have a problem with it?”

I roll my eyes at the way his plump lips are turned up in a smile and are parted to show off his perfect teeth. “I have a problem with males who think they can tell me what to do. You of all people should know that doesn’t go over well with me.”

“Maybe but I’m not just any other male now am I?”

“Yes you are.”

I go to take the slice but he pulls it away, clicking his tongue at me. “Open your mouth, pretty girl,” he murmurs to me and I know it’s a challenge designed to test my resolve.

The nickname and his low timbre sets something ablaze in me and I know I stand no chance in beating my him. His win comes in the form of my lips parting to allow the sticky sweet slice to greet my awaiting tongue. He tracks my every movement, intently watching as its juice wets my lips and my tongue cleans it up.

“It’s my job to anticipate people’s next move but you?” Azriel says with a shake of his head and goes back to carving pieces out of his half eaten apple. “Just when I think I have you figured out, you do the exact opposite of what I expected. It should frustrate me but it doesn’t. Why do you think that is, sweet girl?”

“Maybe you’re bad at your job,” jumps out with my breathy voice and he blinks at me with an arched brow. “Perhaps it’s for the better if you find a new profession or stop treating me like one of your targets. You’ll stop disappointing yourself that way.”

“Now I never said that it was disappointing.” he chides and grabs my chin when I try to look away from his soul blazing gaze, “It keeps me on my toes, never really knowing what you’re going to do.” 

“You really are like every other male; needing to be challenged but not enough to make you feel lesser. You all have this need to control.” I whisper and let my gaze fall to his lips briefly, “I’ve already told you and quite frankly shown you that I’m not one to fall in line because a pretty face told me to.”

He searches my face for a hint of humor as he holds me in place. Testing me, he leans into me and when I think he’s going to kiss me, I let my eyes flutter closed only for him to draw back. From beneath my lashes, I see a feral smirk break across his face. 

“You think I have a pretty face?”

“That’s what you took from that?”

“Answer the question.”

“You’re infuriating beautiful and I hate looking at…”

Azriel silences me with a hungry kiss, our hands desperately searching for something to hold onto as our tongues collide against each other and drink in the other’s sweet taste. His lips are soft as they slide against my own while his hands feel jagged tangling into my hair. Cold metal presses into my scalp and I can’t say that I’m surprised he didn’t drop his beloved truth teller when he launched himself at me.

My hands find their place on his chest and the nape of his neck, slowly making their way into his mess of dark waves. The soft noises that rumble through his chest when I tug at his hair emboldened me and I sharply pull, forcing him to let me lead.

He does for a moment. That is until he is shadows that are still wound around me, something I forgot about, trace over the raised lines of my hidden wings. A whimper falls from me and Azriel hungrily laps it up using his shadows to drag me into his lap. My arms wind around his neck while letting out a surprised noise when I feel his confined cock against me. We break away and that’s when I realize my breathing is so heavy that I’m almost panting but Azriel is no better. He tilts his head up again to playful nip at my bottom lip, trapping it between his teeth before letting it go and kissing the red mark on it.

I hear myself whine at the loss of his lips and heated touch but I can’t find it in myself to care. I’m slipping into the abyss of lust that is between us and pulling tight at our bond and it feels absolutely amazing. 

He’s growing cockier by the minute much to my dismay. “If you’re this flushed after a few kisses, I can’t imagine how you’d look after I’m done with you.”

With a flash of silver in the fire light, the truth teller is safely tucked away again and both of his hands come to grip my hips. He dips his head to plant wet kisses across my jaw and whispers against the supple skin of my neck, “but tell me, pretty girl, do you want that?”

Words feel pointless, coiled in my throat and morph into something else while they come out in the form of broken whines. 

“Come on, beautiful, use your words.”

I quietly mumble “yes” and let out a high pitched whine when he sucks a bruise over my pulse. He mumbles something like “good girl” as his shadows engulf us and my back hits the cold mat of my bed roll with him slotted between my legs. 

Azriel continues his attack on my neck and I lean my head to the side to grant him more access but not without teasing him. “Couldn’t walk ten feet?”

He runs his tongue up the column of my neck. “Are you complaining?” he shots back with a bold flick of his tongue of my ear lobe before taking it between his lips, sucking and nibbling on it. 

“N..no,” I try to say as my body shudders when he starts to roll his hips into mine. 

I vaguely hear his voice but I’m too caught up in the feeling of his clothed cock pressing into my core. A forceful grip on my jaw drags my attention to the male above me; his wings are flared behind him while his shadows dance around the room and curl against the both of us. Those gorgeous dark waves fall around his sculptured face and he gazes down at me with those hooded hazel eyes. 

“Keep talking to me, sweet girl. I want to hear you no matter what, understand?

I barely nod and it’s not good enough for him. He squeezes my cheeks and doubles down on his original question, “I said ‘keep talking’. I need you to tell me that you understand. That you’ll stop me if it gets to be too much.”

“Yes! Gods, yes Azriel I understand!” I moan out, already running out of patience as I arch my back and roll my hips into his, matching his pace as best as I can. 

“That’s a good girl,” he whispers before continuing his trail of blazing kisses down my neck.

I go to drag my hands down his neck but his shadows are quick to grab them and pin them above my head. He chuckles at my frustration and feeble attempts to pull my hands free as he sits back on his hunches.

With only the fire light from outside to illuminate the tent, Azriel looks like a god above me. The power that radiates off of him commands the flames to perfectly bathe every inch of his taunt and towering body. His blue siphons shimmer in the dim light, reflecting my own pathetic state back at me. If I could I would’ve turned over so I wouldn’t have to see the satisfaction on his face as he gazes down at me completely at his mercy. He makes a disapproving sound as he gently takes a leg in his hand, caressing my thigh and calf before stopping at my boots.

“You’re not going shy on me now are you, beautiful?” He murmurs against my ankle, kissing each inch he reveals as he tugs off my boot.

“Fuck you,” I choke out when more shadows join in. They replace his warm touch when he’s moved on, kneading where his hands once were and licking at the places his kisses have grown cold. Being so thoroughly surrounded by him is intoxicating and I find myself going dumb before he’s even touched me.

“Already doing that, sweetheart.”

Gods this fucking male.

Azriel repeats his actions with my other leg and moves to my pants next. We watch each other with half lidded eyes as he takes his time unlacing them and deliberately brushes his long fingers against the bare skin at my waist. When he starts the painstakingly slow motion of pulling them down my thighs, the damned shadows crawl up my torso. They drag his sweater and my thin long sleeve up my body, helping me to pull it off before tugging my bra down to shamelessly play with my breasts, groping and kneading at the tender skin.

The Shadowsinger’s eyes are blown wide, leaving only black in the place of the golden hazel as he watches them play with me. A long sinful moan is pulled from me when the shadows tug at my nipples and it seems to snap him back to reality. He pulls my pants off completely and inhales sharply when he sees the rapidly growing wet spot on my underwear. His eyes flutter closed as the scent of my arousal invades his nostrils and when they open, a fire is blazing in them. He looks devastatingly handsome staring at that spot like it’s the first glimpse of water he’s seen after weeks in the desert. 

“Beautiful, absolutely beautiful,” he mumbles more to himself while he slides his hands up to my knees and lowers himself to lay on his stomach before me. Another pair of shadows wrap around my thighs, preventing them from closing when he lightly runs his fingers over my clothed core. I writhe and struggle against my restraints with a loud huff, halting the male between my legs. 

 “Talk to me, sweet girl,” he asks in an affectionate tone, searching my face as he rests his head against the inside of my thigh. The same soothing sensation strokes at our bond and my face flushes even more as I search for the words. “What do you want?”

Light kisses are littered on my thigh as I stutter, “more… I need more.”

“More what?” he asks, forcing me to say exactly what I want. As he speaks he les his warm and wet tongue drag across the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. “More what?” he asks again with a mischievous smirk taunt on his bitten lips as he licks directly over my covered slit.

“Touch me more, Az please.” It feels terribly pathetic to beg him and I’d cover my face if the shadows weren’t tightening their hold on my wrists. 

My mate immediately drags his thick tongue over the thin fabric covering my core and mouthes at me through it. He circles my hole before flicking the tip of his tongue over my clit. Desperate please build in my chest while my brain turns to mush having him so close to where I need him but just out of reach. It’s beyond frustrating and he knows it, smirking and chuckling at me in my disheveled and starving state.

Whimpers and whines grow into loud pleas and sinfully wanton moans as he works his tongue over the soaked fabric. After about the fourth time he nearly touches my clit, I start to realize that my wordless begging isn’t going to spur him into removing the offending piece of clothing. He wants words but I won’t let myself beg again just yet.

So I try the bond, sending every ounce of lust and desire that I have down to him. His only reaction is a slight quiver of his wings and an airy chuckle against my core. 

“Nice try, sweetheart but that wasn’t what i told you to do. Remind me, what did I tell you?”

He’s completely stopped using his tongue and has moved to dragging his fingers up and down my slit.

I throw my head back with a growl at the loss of stimulation. My heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of my chest and I squeeze my eyes shut, willing it to calm down so I can think straight. The shadows are quicker than me and stop any thinking I may have done with another harsh pinch to each nipple.

“Until you can tell me exactly what you need, I’m perfectly happy to keep bringing you to the edge over and over again.”

“Fuck,” I curse under my breath. “Fuck me with your tongue, fingers, I don’t care. Just fucking get on with it already, Az.” 

“Now was that so hard?”

I go to snap at him however I’m cut short by him kissing the juncture of my thigh before he pulls my underwear to the side and lightly laps at my soaked folds. He starts slow, kitten licking and teasing me to gauge my reactions. With the shadows around my thighs, I don’t have a lot of range but I’m able to move my hips against his face enough to get some relief.

Azriel takes pity on me and his tongue, wide and rough, finds my clit the moment he licks a decisive strip up my core. His mouth becomes glued to me as he brings me closer and closer to the edge. That feeling in my lower stomach grows tighter when he sucks on my clit and pulls back to blow on it. Throwing my head back, moans fall unhindered and my hips start to move wildly against his mouth.

More shadows find their way around me, caressing and kneading everywhere they can touch. Some tangle into my hair, pulling at the strands while others grope my ass only adding to the bliss that is Azriel’s expert tongue working me into oblivion. 

He brings a hand up to let his fingers circle my hole, collecting my wetness before plunging two fingers in. He smirks against me after my hips falter and he slips his free arm under me, holding my hips up so he can bury his face into me even further. I whine and mewl as Azriel circles my clit and flicks it in time to the come hither motion he’s making with his fingers inside me.

“Az…Az, oh gods, I’m gonna..gonna cum,” I cry out. His shadows double down on their groping and massaging while he doesn’t let up eating me out like a man starved. He watches my orgasm crash over me through half lidded eyes and I try as best as I can to keep eye contact however my own eyes feel heavier than ever before. 

Azriel whispers words of reassurances and praises against my heated skin as he kisses his way back up to me. The shadows around my thighs loosen and draw light circles where their bruising grip once was. The ones on my wrists relax and caress the sore muscles from being held above my head.

“You did so well, sweet girl. So good for me,” he mumbles between labored breaths that mirror mine. I nod in agreement, cupping his face and pulling him down for a much slower kiss than before.

“So perfect, made for me…taking everything I give you,” he mutters against my lips. His wings shake out above us and mine feel like they’re about to do the same when one of the shadows dances over where they’re melding into my body.

He lets his body settle against me, once again letting his hips press into mine but now it’s unbearable. Im still sensitive and the feeling of his leather covered cock against me drags broken sobs from my chest. Like the teasing male he is, Azriel shushes me against my lips as one of his hands finds my thigh and urges my leg over his hip. With my leg around his waist, he moves us at a pace that makes us both moan into our kiss. He drops his hand next to my head while the other comes to rest on my throat, tilting my head back when he pulls away and drags his thumb over my puffy bottom lip.

“Such a pretty mouth,” he growls, staring lustfully at the way that my tongue swirls around the tip of his thumb. I suck at it and he pushes between my lips, allowing me to work it with my tongue like I would his cock. His eyes darken when I release it with a pop and a string of saliva connects us.

A heavy weight constricts my chest and pushes all of the air out of breath thanks to the tsunami of burning desire that Azriel sends to me. “Open up, sweet girl.” 

With our hips grinding slowing down and moving into a lazy, occasional jolt of pleasure, I obey. Without being told, I rest my tongue on my bottom lip, a silent agreement to what he’s about to do.

Azriel’s cock twitches against me as he spits into my mouth and I swallow it with a satisfied smirk. He curses under his breath and his cock twitches again.

And this is when we find ourselves in a rather unfortunate situation; he’s fully clothed while I’m bare save for my bra that’s been pulled under my breasts.

My pawing at his chest gives him the hint and he leans back to quickly rid himself of his leathers while his shadows keep me entertained. They flick and pinch at my pebbled nipples while sneaking down to rub me through my underwear.

The moment his clothes are off, I push myself up and climb into his lap to wrap myself around him. I kiss him like he’s the air that I need and he matches me in pace and passion.

Droplets of sweat race down his broad tattooed chest and his hair is messy and tangled. His arms, perfect matches to his chest, broad, muscular and tattooed are wrapped around me, keeping me in place as he ruts into me. He rocks his aching cock against my barely covered puffy and oversensitive clit while we devour one and other. His breath hitches in his throat when I grind down on him and my nails scrap against the base of his wings. 

“Do…do that again,” he whimpers into our kiss and I happily oblige.

I start with lightly dragging my nails against the base again before moving up the ridge of his wings. The barely there touch is enough to make him groan out and break our kiss to throw his head back in pleasure. I take my chance to assault his neck with my own kisses and bites when I repeat the motions to his wings. His hips stutter under me as my delicate touch combined with the hardness of his aching cock become too overwhelming.

Azriel groans out, frustrated that there’s still a layer of thin fabric separating us and seconds later, I feel the cold tip of the truth teller slice through my underwear. His shadows remove them from between us while he holds my hips in a bruising grip to rub my wetness against him. Back and forth, he drags the head of his cock through my folds, stealing desperate moans from my swollen lips. 

“Az,” I whine as I feel his thick tip catch against my clit, “please Az.”

He coos to me as if he’s being sweet as he continues to torture me. “Please what, sweet girl?”

“Fuck me Azriel,” comes out in broken sobs when he lines himself up and snaps his hips up, fully sheathing his thick cock in my warm heat. He waits for me to adjust to his size, only moving when I wiggle against him. He sets a brutal pace, fucking up into me in calculated and determined thrusts. The near painful hold he had on me is grounding as he pumps his dick into me and I cry out as pleasure starts to build into a second orgasm.

He pulls out only to guide me lay on my side to the bed roll and drags me against his chest, slipping in from behind. Wrapping one heavily tattooed muscular arm around my neck, he lets the other come to wrap around my middle and play with my puffy clit. The corded muscles are flexing as he holds me in place against him, ensuring that I have no choice but to take his thick cock. 

“I want everyone in Velaris to hear you,” he grunts against my ear as he sets a cruel pace from behind me. Downright sinful sounds fall from my permanently open mouth and his own beautiful sounds fill my ears when my core throbs and clenches around him.

“You can be louder, pretty girl,” he urges me while tightening his already unyielding grip around my neck. My hands sink into his arm, leaving red marks in their wake as I cry out, body trembling and writhing against him.

I tilt my head back to rest against his shoulder as we continue to move against each other. His cock drags against my walls in a painful way and my eyes flutter shut from the white hot pleasure it brings me. I’m pulsing around him and pleading with him to come with me. 

“Shush, pretty girl. Let me take care of you. Come for me, beautiful. I know you need to,” his breath feels like an inferno in my ear and I involuntarily moan at his praise. I know I can’t possibly be seen as anything other than a mess; tears streak my face and sweat collects in my hairline but none of that stops Azriel, my mate, from praising every inch of me. 

The last sharp thrust and caress of his tongue against my neck are what push me over the edge as my hands dig into his arm. His own release is almost upon him as his thrusts falter and he goes to pull out but my hand darts behind me and grips his hip.

“Come…with me.”

A dark chuckle rumbles through his chest, “you want me to come in you, pretty girl? You want me to mark you with my cum? Make it so every male who ever comes near you smells me? Is that what you want?”

“Yes, gods yes yes…please…come with me…please come in me.”

My begging sparks him to snap his hips even harder than before as he works us through our orgasms together. Both sweet and humiliating words continue to pour from his mouth between his kisses as he alternates between licking and biting at my lips. His arm loosens around my neck and shifts to cup my shoulder instead while the other grasps my hip.

“You did so well, sweet girl. So proud of you, took me so well,” he murmurs, nuzzling his face into my neck while our highs start to come down and our breathing slows. Finally our bond feels content; overjoyed that we are together and basking in the raw affection we have for each other.

I know that there is a part of it that won’t be satisfied until we accept it, until I accept him and offer him a meal that I made just for him. 

My heart skips a beat when that thought crosses my mind however this time it’s out of panic. What if’s and past traumas flash in my mind, no doubt flooding the bond with seemingly unwarranted anxiety. 

I try to pull away from Azriel but he holds me as he whispers softly from behind me, “Stay with me, my sweet girl. You’re crashing and you need affection right now. Let me help you through it.”

Panic sinks its talons into me even further, causing my heart to race, my breathing to grow too fast, the feeling of slipping into thick water without a way out to overcome. Tears spring from my eyes again and his voice sounds muffled even though it’s right next to me. 

“Breath with me.” His chest rises and falls against my back and my body falls into sync with it. The bond fills me with nothing but adoration and pure contentment, pushing away the crashing low I had begun to slip into.

“Good, just follow my breathing, just like that. You did so well, I’m so proud of you. Keep breathing with me and let me take care of you, beautiful. Let me give you the affection you need.”

For the first time ever in my life possibly, I feel safe. I feel safe in the arms of this mysterious Shadowsinger. I feel protected, cared for, and loved by Azriel, my mate.

[its-time-to-write]

in love with an idea

This is a very, very, v e r y minor study in the way that Jamie handles his sexuality, and the fact that sometimes it seems he thinks his only value comes from being sexy and playing football. And the fact that sometimes, one night stands are crap even if they feel good. It happens. Especially if you go home with someone wishing they were someone else. Anyway, I have another fic in the works, should be posted soon. I’ve been absent because I’m writing a long one that will never ever see the light of day because it is way too self indulgent. As if this next one isn’t going to be long and self indulgent as well. Thanks to all y’all who support my writing!! Those of you who leave comments/tags have my whole entire heart, and there is no such thing as too many comments. Special shoutout to @whimsical-roasting and @qquell bc you’re probably my biggest/most vocal supporters and I love you🥺🥺 Ok that’s enough words, enjoy the fic!

in love with an idea

Jamie feels like shit which is weird, because he doesn’t usually feel this way after hookups. He can tell you don’t notice because you just plop down on the locker room bench next to him and ask, “Did ya call your mum yet?” while grinning far too brightly. 

Jamie is going to throw up. You’re smiling at him and he’s going to throw up so he gets up and rushes out of the room without a word. He pretends that he left so fast that he didn’t see your grin fade. 

He’s headed to the pitch because that’s where he’s supposed to be anyway, but all he can think about is the fact that it should have been you in his bed last night. After all, it was your name that had been on the tip of his tongue all night. It was your face he kept thinking of, and your body he was imagining. 

The girl had left satisfied, knowing exactly what she had signed up for, but he still feels like he used her. It’s not her fault that he’s in love with you but took her home, and yet it feels bad anyway. He wonders why no one ever talks about the shitty side of one-night stands. He has a vague recollection of Roy saying something to that effect one time, but other than that, he’s in completely unfamiliar territory.

He throws himself into training with more vigor than usual, purposely running himself ragged. 

Meanwhile, you’re still on the bench looking stupefied. Isaac slides next to you in the spot Jamie vacated. 

He says, “You should probably check on him,” with his usual solemn gravitas so you nod and decide to do just that.

—

You don’t have time check on Jamie until after training. Ted has you running all around Nelson Road so you just barely catch Jamie in the parking lot. 

“Hey!” you call. “You alright?”

Jamie spins around, icon hat atop damp hair. “Yeah, sure, good, yeah!” he says, and now you’re absolutely positive that something’s wrong. You raise an eyebrow. 

“That totally sounds like something a completely alright person would say, but for some reason I don’t believe you. Is something wrong with your mum? Is that why you got all weird when I asked?”

“What?” Jamie says. “Oh. No. She’s good, yeah. She’s good. I did call her. Talked for a while, which was nice. Talked about this girl I like, actually.” 

The words are barely out of his mouth when Jamie wishes he could sink into the ground. Fuck his stupid rambling. 

“Oh?” you say, eyebrow still quirked. “That’s new.”

Jamie shrugs. “Yeah, it is,” he says and then his mouth betrays him once again as he continues, “I’m actually really nervous about talking to her.”

You laugh. That is utterly ridiculous, and you tell him so. “You’re Jamie fucking Tartt, Premier League footballer. People throw themselves at you every day and you eat all that attention up. Why is she so different? Hold on, are you blushing?” 

You laugh. He totally is, but he denies it. 

“Look,” he says. “She ain’t like a lot of people. She’s fucking…smart or some shit. Not that other people aren’t!” he continues, “But she’s just… different, like. She’s one of fucking… four people who are immune to my natural sexy glow.” 

The way Jamie says the word sexy is always interesting because he never used it comedically. It’s always inserted in some serious declaration of himself, as if that and football are the only points of value he believes he has. You wrinkle your nose. “How is that possible? No one is immune. Except maybe Roy. I heard he got his anti-Tartt vaccine boosted last week. Maybe it worked a little too well,” you say worriedly. 

“I dunno,” Jamie says. “She said she’s looking for someone smart and I don’t really think I fall in that category. All brawn on me, innit?”

He quirks a smile to mask this strange discomfort he has. You’re not used to seeing him anything less than confident. 

“Well Jaim,” you say after a beat, “as someone who is also looking for someone ‘smart,’ it really isn’t about IQ. It’s like… it’s like someone who actually talks to you and has interesting things to say. And is interested in learning, not just from me but from whoever and whatever. And someone who doesn’t talk down. Because, god,” you laugh, “I’ve been on so many dates that are just exhausting because all these smart people want to flex their knowledge instead of sharing it. It’s like a fucked-up power struggle. I never feel that way with you, y’know?”

Jamie tilts his head in a cocky go on type of way. 

There he is. 

You roll your eyes. “What I mean is, you actually listen to what I say and ask questions, and aren’t rude when I don’t understand something that comes easy to you. My corner kicks are getting better, by the way,” you interject. “Sunday evening practice is paying off.” Jamie comes over every Sunday evening to kick a ball around with you on the Richmond Green.

“Of course they are,” he grins. “Learning from the best, aren’t you?” You flip his hat off his head and catch it, returning his smile. 

“Just ask her out, Jaim. I’m sure it’ll be fine. And,” you add, “bring her round! Not enough footballer girlfriends around here.”

Jamie looks at you a moment, taking in the picture of you in Nelson Road’s parking lot, his cap on you head and a smile on your face that he made. 

“Right,” he says, then turns to walk to his car. He’s at the door when he turns and walks back. 

“Forgot something,” he says to your bemused expression. You point to his hat still on your head. 

“Nope,” he shakes his head. “That ain’t it. It’s you. You’re the girl. I talked to me mum about you because I think you’re fucking great. If I’m not your type, that’s alright, but fuck it, I just really fucking like you.”

He takes a step closer. “I’m going to kiss you, so now’s your chance to walk away.”

You don’t. 

You let him flip the icon hat backwards and cup your face in his hands, far more gently than you thought him capable of as he tips your head up to his. 

His lips are soft on yours, and you’re vaguely aware of the fact that Trent Crimm is walking by you, shooting furtive looks your way but you don’t care. 

“I think you’re fucking great too,” you reply when you finally come up for air. 

Jamie grins. “Wanna go on a proper date tonight? Been thinking about where I’d take you for ages. I can pick you up in an hour thirty.”

You smile. 

That sounds great. 

[xaeethebaee]

Random NSFW TR Headcanons Part Two

MINORS DNI! 18+ ONLY!

As the title suggests, this is part two of the random sexual headcanons for the Tokyo Revengers characters.

Warnings! Mentions of anal, a very STRONG implication of emotional incest, some interesting kinks, and implied masochism.

A/n: Reminder, they're all ADULTS here.

Let's start this off with a list of guys who are all brat tamers! DRAKEN, SMILEY, Wakasa, Izana, and Rindou!

Chifuyu fucked a girl in the storage room of his pet store. It happened multiple times throughout one day actually. (Mans got some stamina!)

Hakkai once slapped his girlfriend so hard that he cried while she had an orgasm.

Draken is the KING at making girls squirt. It may have something to do with his big dick energy.

Speaking of BDE (Big Dick Energy), shout out to Rindou Haitani and Hakkai Shiba.

Ran, SOUTH, Hanma, and Shion have all let themselves be pegged at least once. Surprisingly, Hanma did not enjoy it.

Mitsuya admitted that Baji was the best man he fucked. (more like he got fucked by Baji.)

Peh-yan is a choker.

Taiju definitely has a daddy kink

Meanwhile, Takemichi has a mommy kink

Mikey once got hard from watching a video of a girl painting her toenails. He was just trying to help Emma with her pedicure. Needless to say, she won't be asking for his help anymore.

Sanzu walked in on his sister Senju fucking another girl. He was so aroused that he couldn't help but watch from the shadows.

Speaking of Sanzu, he is surprisingly gentle in bed.

Shinichiro Sano never realized he had a lactation kink until he saw a porn video of a woman's breasts leaking milk. That ultimately spurred on a subsequent breeding kink.

Mucho is WAY too silent when in bed. He just stares blankly even though he is enjoying the experience. (please beg him to make some noise)

Baji will share his girl toy with Mitsuya and maybe Chifuyu, but he will NEVER share his girlfriend with Chifuyu. (Interesting.)

Just ask nicely and these guys will HAPPILY eat your pussy: MITSUYA, DRAKEN, BENKEI, SHINICHIRO, HANMA, Hakkai, Angry, Akkun, Peh-yan, Wakasa, Mocchi, Kazutora, Inupi, Suzuki, Mucho, Kakucho, and Shion.

Let's focus on the Kawata twins for a bit. Angry once walked in on Smiley eating a girl out from behind. What did he do? He joined in.

Similar to his brother, Angry is very experienced as well although, he does not sleep around like Smiley.

Speaking of Smiley, he is one sadistic fuck. He will edge his girl until she is balling her eyes out and even then he may not let her cum. Though, the moment when he does let her cum, he makes sure it is an amazing orgasm, so he's not FULLY evil.

Fun fact, sex with Baji ain't always great. Sometimes, he'll randomly stop and pull out for no apparent reason. (He is an unpredictable guy after all.)

Guys who will be absolutely RUTHLESS with backshots are BAJI, HANMA, SMILEY, TAIJU, SOUTH, Izana, Mikey, Takeomi, Kisaki, and Draken.

Make Angry angry enough and he'll go feral. The same goes for Shion, Mocchi, and Izana.

Inupi does not like to be teased. He'd much rather sex be straightforward.

Chifuyu loves anal a lot. If he's not fucking his girlfriend's ass, he will definitely stick his finger in there. Additionally, he will always give her a rim job.

Hanma's favorite roleplay is when he pretends to be a psycho killer. Once he catches his victim, he fucks her dumb.

While we're on the subject of Hanma's fantasies, he definitely thought about having a threesome with Draken and a random girl. In his mind, he wants to see who could give her the best pleasure. (I'm literally writing this fanfic right now. Lol.)

Let's end this part with guys who love a nice ass: WAKASA, RINDOU, KISAKI, SANZU, SOUTH, CHIFUYU, Draken, Mitsuya, Peh, Inupi, Angry, Taiju, Kokonoi, Shion, Mocchi, Takeomi, Naoto, and Kakucho

A/n: Have any more requests for headcanons, let me know. Also, don't be afraid to comment. I don't bite.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Alright, last time ever that I’ll talk about Velma. I promise.

Because I’ve been extra salty towards this show all week, and I don’t want to take it further than that. Talking nothing but bad stuff about this show for the entirety of its run is exactly what the writers want. They want us to hate watch it so we can talk about each new atrocity the show brings up week after week, and call us haters or anti-woke propagandists. When, in reality, they don’t give a FUCK about any of that. They don’t care about other races, genders, or sexualities. They just WANT you to think they do. Know how I can tell? Because I’ve SEEN genuine attempts of representation.

THIS is a genuine attempt of representation. Matt Braly, the series creator of Amphibia and a Thai-American, felt like Thai culture was underrepresented in media. So, he not only made his main character and her Thai, but he also dedicated subplots and entire episodes showcasing the culture he wanted to represent.

THIS is a genuine attempt at representation. Dana Terrace, series creator of The Owl House and open Bisexual, wanted a main character that was explicitly bi to finally help kids feel like they’re seen. To help give the representation SHE always wanted.

But when I look at Velma? None of it hits the same.

This isn’t a genuine attempt for representation. This is Mindy Kuling turning a character into a self-insert to make herself look smarter than everyone else and the most important person in a narrative. Truth is, this Velma is nothing more than a sociopath, narcissistic dipshit who thinks she’s better than everyone else but is actually more aggravating than endearing.

So...Good job representing YOURSELF there, Mindy.

And this?

This isn’t representation. This is a shield.

A way to protect the show from any criticism because it couldn’t possibly be bad. They have gay characters! Gay characters are good in everything!

Except that is the LAST reason you should include gay characters! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE more LGBTQA+ representation in media. What I don’t love is obvious attempts to pander to audiences just to avoid criticisms. And keep in mind, this is NOT the first attempt a creator wanted to make Velma gay.

James Gunn wanted to make her gay in the live action movie, but WB said no.

Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated (the GOAT of the Scooby-Doo franchise) wanted to make Velma gay, but could only imply it because Cartoon Network didn’t greenlit Steven Universe yet.

THOSE are genuine attempts to make Velma gay, to represent people because the creators of both products agreed that it was the least they could do.

But making Velma and Daphne a thing just to protect a show is nothing more than shallow and inconsiderate of the hard fight dozens of people put up with for the sake of representation.

And, honestly, I’d be a little more forgiving if the writing in Velma was good. But it’s not.

Within the first minute, this show features...

Cockroaches having sex...

And fifteen year olds taking a shower to make a joke about how over-sexualized a series’ pilot can be.

First of all: FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FIND THIS SCREEN SHOT FOR A POINT!

Second: You lose every ounce of credibility that you actually care about people when one of the first moves you make in your series is to sexualize minors for the sake of a joke.

A joke that doesn’t make sense at that. Point me to a series pilot that’s over-sexualized. If you get more than ten, I’ll say you have a point. I won’t say that sexualizing minors to make it was a good thing, but I’ll at least say that, “Yeah. You’re right. So many pilots do this. SO STOP DOING IT!”

That’s the level of writing Velma has. And it’s why they have their “representation” to protect themselves. Meanwhile, you want to know the level of writing you’ll find in The Owl House and Amphibia?

Villains who prove that the most dangerous people are the ones who make the rules.

Jokes that are actually funny.

Likable main protagonists who are kind and caring to the people around them.

Protagonists who have heartfelt relationships with other great characters, to the point that it breaks your heart to see them leave each other.

And on top of that, actually good representation. But here’s the thing: The representation isn’t only genuine. It’s a bonus. Something great to add onto everything else the writers and the creators do right.

What it isn’t is an attempt to protect a show from what it does wrong.

And that’s it. That’s the LAST time I’ll ever talk about Velma. I really mean it this time.

Talking about this show past it’s premier is already more attention it deserves. And if you were smart, you would not only stop watching, but stop talking. The best attention to give something you hate is NO attention.

If you really want to waste time, waste it by watching something good, like The Owl House and Amphibia. They may be kids shows, but they have more maturity than a single second of Velma.

[hazard-consent]

Hazard Consent

[pt: Hazard Consent /end pt]

Hazard consent, or hazard-consent, is a contact/consent stance based on harm reduction, explicit and informed consent, and understanding the repercussions of one's actions. It is inherently against contact for any paraphilia, kink or fetish that involves a lack of, or otherwise dubious, content- *as well as situations where even if one believes a group or individual can consent, the negative impact it would have on either party outweigh what pleasure they could get out of it.

What is hazard consent FOR?

explicit and informed consent

harm reduction and understanding the difference between hurt and harm(link)

non-offending or recovering offenders, those with paraphilic disorders, moral OCD and intrusive thoughts, and those who want to have or participate in harmless contact

acceptance of every paraphilia, kink and fetish, and form a sense of community

fighting against ableism and sanism targeted at those with paraphilias, kinks, fetishes and other atypical interests, as well as destigmatizing them

engaging with paraphilias, kinks and fetishes with full knowledge of any risk involved and doing so as safely as possible

What is hazard consent AGAINST?

sexual or romantic contact with children, animals, or non/dubiously consenting adults, or exposing them to sexual or explicit content

contact for pedophilia, zoophilia, biasophilia, incestophilia and non-consenting necrophilia, somnophilia, inibriphilia(link), or anything else that can be pre-consented to. roleplay for any of these does not fall under hazard consent

attaching any inherent morality to any parahilia, fetish or kink, even if one personally think its "gross", "weird" or "immoral"

harassment, bullying, doxxing, abusing or otherwise unnecessarily cruel behavior to anyone of any stance

ableism and sanism

What does NOT fall under hazard consent?

when topics such as consent or boundaries are discussed beforehand, and can be revoked at any time (pre-consented to necro, somno, inibri, etc.)

risk aware consensual kink & BDSM

engaging in consensual roleplay, including CNC

engaging with objects or non-sentient creatures (plants, robots, etc)

anything not explicitly stated on the post

Hazard Stances

[pt: Hazard Stances /end pt]

One can express their stance on hazard consent through the typical "pro/neutral/complex/anti" system that is used for other stances. Ex. pro-hazard supporting hazard consent, or anti-hazard being against hazard consent. Anyone can be any stance for any reason, and is at their own discretion to explain why. Nobody owes anybody an explanation.

QnA

[pt: QnA /end pt]

QnA section to get ahead of any potential questions, and clarifying anything that might not have already been made clear.

Q. Why does this exist?

A. Historically, contact stances were something used in the MAP community to express one's personal stance on contact with minors, but now that it is used to indicate one's stance on multiple/all paraphilias, it has become unclear what falls under being "pro/neutral/complex/anti-contact". Meanwhile stances like "pro-consent" or "anti-harm" have a similar vagueness to them, as what counts as "consent" or "harm" can be subjective and up to the user. This is to serve a clear and explicit stance of things that often seems to be shared between these beliefs.

Q. *What does this mean?

A. This stance believes that, even if an individual thinks groups like children or animals can consent, the negative impact sexual contact with them has on these groups psychologically outweighs the pleasure gained. This also means that if an individual is distressed by their attraction, they shouldn't engage with it if/until they can do so without harming themselves mentally.

Q. What is dubious consent in this context?

A. Any coerced, unenthusiastic, uninformed or otherwise unclear consent.

Q. Why the name "hazard consent"?

A. "Hazard" is supposed to reference the understanding of the risks, potential danger, and, well, hazards associated with non/dubious consent, as well as those related to informed consent. It also is intended to invoke a sense of danger. It is intended to promote a thorough understanding of the risks and benefits associated with sex, consent and paraphilias, kinks and fetishes.

Q. Who can use hazard consent?

A. Anyone. Even if someone disagrees with me and my beliefs, or if I disagree with them. This is a term for anyone and everyone who shares this specific belief, and anyone can be any stance on it.

Any other questions, concerns or thoughts can be sent to @hazard-consent

[sleepingdeath-light]

claude + s/o who enjoys being treated like a pet hcs ; 18+

requested by ; imakequestionablelifedecisions (26/05/23)

fandom(s) ; black butler

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | anime-only

character(s) ; claude faustus

outline ; “Can I please have Claude who has a s/o who really likes being owned/someones pet and wants Claude to be their owner (fem reader please)”

warning(s) ; pet play, nothing explicit but heavy implications of sexual contact occurring, spanking/impact play, praise kink, humiliation, implied degradation, dominant!claude, semi-public kink

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

there is no chance that this demon will turn down the opportunity to have a partner who is so naturally submissive that they downright beg to be owned and treated as a pet

so, needless to say, he’s more than eager to accommodate your wishes

just be warned that he does not half ass things — it’s just not in his nature — and he’s only going to step back unless it’s socially necessary or if you call the agreed upon safe word

he’ll go all out for you so you can expect the full nine yards of pet play

you only get to eat and drink out of bowls on the floor — pets don’t sit at the table

misbehaviour will lead to a night in the crate or a thorough spanking — good pets don’t act up

you don’t speak or communicate, you bark/meow and yap and growl/hiss — pets can’t talk, after all

if you’re good you get to sleep in the bed with him, otherwise you’re in a large dog bed — pets shouldn’t even be in bed in the first place

you are not permitted to remove the heavy collar that he places around your neck, nor are you permitted to move unless he gives you permission — if that means kneeling on the floor, unmoving, for hours then so be it because good girls listen to their owners

and if you have the room to do so, then he might even attach a leash to your collar and take you for a walk around the estate

you’re also gifted a variety of toys — some from your owner, others from alois (who treats you like a house pet rather than a servant) and others from hannah who tends to spoil you more than the others

he calls you ‘good girl’ and ‘good pet’ and praises you for obedience and compliance — especially if that means quietening down and bowing your head and listening to what he tells you to do

he talks about you like you’re a pet (well… you are) to the other members of staff — mentioning how well you’re taking to your training, how clingy you’ve been and how loud you were yowling overnight

the triplets only add to this aspect of humiliation by whispering amongst themselves, loud enough for you to hear, about you in the same way they’d talk about a cat or dog (how loud you are, how claude should scold you, asking whether they think claude will let them scold you, etc.)

hannah, meanwhile, will spoil you and sneak you treats — she’s always had a soft spot for animals — and she might even speak to your defence or let you stay with her overnight if she thinks claude is being particularly cruel

all in all, the demons around you are all very accepting of this want of yours and all quickly adapt their language and habits to accommodate it — after all, what demon wouldn’t want to be gifted a position of inherent authority over a mortal woman like you?

of course there are moments where you have to be treated like a human, but aside from that your life as a pet is all set in stone

filled with treats and affection and head pats and toys — and the same level of punishment for misbehaviour that would be afforded to any other pet

cushy and comfortable but fair and it’s all thanks to your partner, claude, who was more than happy to step up as your owner the moment you asked it of him

what a loving master you have

[genericpuff]

I’m curious about some of your recent criticism of RS’s past making medical fetish art… in one post you mentioned there being a connection/continuation between her past art and the “problematic” parts of LO and cited DDLG and medical fetishism more specifically.

Can you say more about what makes those two things problematic? The obsession with Lolita and sexualizing actual minors is one thing, but kink isn’t inherently problematic IMO.

And, just to be clear, I appreciate your critiques of her art/the sloppy way that WT is shoving LO down our collective throats even though it’s way past its peak… I’m just more curious about how her past fetish art fits into your critiques of her as an artist.

I mean, that kind of enters "separate the art from the artist" territory which I don't feel you can actually do when the artist is inherently problematic and is sowing those problems into their art. But that's a separate topic.

Kink being a factor in her work is not an issue, and frankly, I didn't bring up any of the medical fetish art as to say it's an issue as a whole, more so to point out how this has pretty much always been Rachel's M.O. and it makes it make WAY more sense as to why LO is written the way it is knowing that (and more so just pointing out how weird it is that she apparently wants to ditch her life pre-LO but still keeps the usedbandaid name).

But I think it becomes far more of an issue when we all know her work is affiliated with Webtoons, a platform that predominantly markets to children as young as 11 years old.

Like, The Doctor Pepper Show was kinky as all hell, and it didn't try to hide that, it said right in its description that it was a medical fetish comic and it made it clear it was meant for people who were 18+. LO, meanwhile, is constantly trying to play this game of tug of war between its ideas and what it's trying to accomplish and who it's meant for. On the one hand, it's meant for teenagers who can identify themselves through Persephone's struggles as a teenage girl coming of age; on the other hand, it's meant for horny adult women who can insert themselves into Persephone's relationship with Hades and fantasize about getting swept away by a rich man who will solve all their problems, which isn't exactly something you want to be advertising/normalizing to the former demographic. It's trying to be both a serious deconstruction of misogyny and purity culture but it's also flippantly reinforcing misogyny and purity culture through the fetishization of Persephone as an "eternally 19" character who settles down with practically the first guy who pays attention to her.

When it comes to kink, I think it's more an issue of Rachel dangerously toeing the line between kink and predatory. There's nothing wrong with being into BDSM or the gothic lolita aesthetic, but there are people who use those labels as a way to normalize more abusive ideals and behavior (like what abusive men try to accomplish by infiltrating the BDSM community and claiming their abuse is healthy and fun, or when pedophiles try to infiltrate the gothic lolita community with the intent of fetishizing children).

Rachel being a fetish artist isn't the issue and that was never the point I was trying to make. The point is understanding Rachel's roots pre-LO and how they influence LO in ways that aren't necessarily good for the comic, its narrative, or the audience it's selling itself to. If LO were an 18+ series on a platform that marketed it as such and was unapologetically sexual/kinky the same way The Doctor Pepper Show was, then I don't think there would be quite as much of an issue (though it would still be held accountable if it did do anything morally questionable like what I mentioned above). But it's constantly being marketed to children and young teens, and it's being used as a self-insert power fantasy by Rachel to boot, rather than operating as an actual story with anything meaningful to say.

To use an example outside of LO, at least mongie had the nerve to step away from the WT's platform when she realized it wasn't going to suit the work she wanted to put out. She wanted Let's Play to be far more sexual than what they were allowing her to do, so she left. And while I don't like Let's Play all that much either, it has PLENTY of its own issues that almost seem to be adopted straight from LO, I can still respect her stepping away from the platform when she realized it wasn't going to be a good fit for what she wanted to pursue.

And no, none of that's to say that Rachel should leave WT or that she's in the same situation as mongie lmao but the identity crisis is evident in how LO is written, it feels very much like it can't decide what it truly wants to be.

That's all my two cents though, take it for what you may. That post about her medical fetish art wasn't meant to be like "LOOK AT HOW GROSS SHE IS, EWWW!" it was literally meant to just point out that she's still using a username from her medical fetish backstory for some reason despite the fact that she's tried REALLY hard to act like she never did any projects pre-LO. Shit, there are comics she's done pre-LO that weren't even fetish/kink comics, such as Castle Castle:

That's why I'm also not sharing much further and leaving it up to others to do their own digging, I don't think there's much to gain from sharing her kink art from 2004 unless it's somehow directly tied to her identity now in some way (like the madame issue drawing showing off the bandaids and self-insert aspects). A lot of that stuff is in the past. It's just odd that she's trying to leave much of it in the past but still couldn't let go of that one username that's still affiliated with it. I also think it's frankly ridiculous that she's trying to erase practically everything pre-LO, not just the stuff that she might cringe over or might be too sexual for her modern audience, but also the stuff like Castle Castle that she really should share, IMO! Because it's neat and it shows that she didn't just come from nothing, she made so much art pre-LO that ought to be shared and seen and preserved, but it seems like she's too focused on selling the whole "one hit wonder" image these days that she never bothers to mention the work that I'm sure even her own fans would love to see.

As a final note to wrap up this long response, it's wild that it's often only the critical community sharing these old art pieces, because a lot of the time, barring questioning of her values and ideals that are present in some of her old pieces, most people really like them and have lots of good things to say about them. I think the ultimate takeaway is how sad it is that she's fallen this low in terms of quality and effort. I think she is capable of making beautiful art, but somewhere along the way, she either stopped caring or lost the drive and that really sucks to see.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Kathleen Stock

Published: Apr 14, 2024

It is a cliché that when the US sneezes, the world catches a cold. Thankfully, when it comes to the phenomenon of wokeness — loosely understood as a box set of holier-than-thou attitudes about race, gender identity and sexual minorities, with accompanying punishment beatings for dissenters — many now appear to be reaching for the antivirals.

A friend of mine who teaches in a famous North American liberal arts college, full of achingly cool rich kids, tells me her undergrads are “so over” pronoun rounds, eye-rolling whenever staff try to introduce them in the classroom. Taste-making East Coast broadsheets are dipping nervous toes in the water on subjects such as unfair male advantage in women’s sport and the experimental status of medicalised child transition, having avoided or spiked such stories for years. The once ubiquitous hashtag #BlackLivesMatter has fallen out of favour with many, after accusations that the founders of the namesake organisation misused donations and enriched themselves.

Meanwhile in Britain, football players taking the knee are an increasingly rare sight. Organisations such as Sports England and the Arts Council are quietly exiting Stonewall’s Diversity Champions scheme, and the once-ebullient charity no longer feels confident enough to advertise the list of members on its own website. Free speech societies are forming with renewed vitality in British universities; and last week even saw those bellwethers of middle-class humour, the blokes on Have I Got News For You, pluck up courage to make a tentative joke about gender identity flags in NHS hospitals.

So can the rest of us — the ones who knew all along that wokeness was a pseudo-progressive hobby for guilty rich people, role-playing as meaningful political action — relax? Unfortunately not yet. For I’m afraid the demise of woke won’t be like the end of toothbrush moustaches, indie folk music or any other temporary behaviour supercharged by the whims of the young and the hip, then dropped without consequence. Wokeness, in contrast, is a bit like a hulking great boulder launched into the middle of a calm lake: waves will be crashing on the shoreline long after the epicentre bears no trace.

The most obvious difference between wokeness and other passing fashions is that nobody working in HR ever decreed that moustache-wearers or indie folk-listeners be considered uniquely oppressed minority groups. In contrast, thanks to wild and unevidenced claims made at the height of wokemania by lobbying groups, thousands of organisations have been left with unfair, illiberal and sometimes even illegal policies that blatantly cater to the special interests of a few: rules about how social spaces can be accessed and by whom; what data can and cannot be collected; what conversations are allowed and which are not. Policies tend to dictate organisational behaviour long after those who first championed them move on ideologically; and especially when propped up by a raft of specially created career positions, whose occupants have a financial interest in maintaining the momentum.

And alongside such policies, superficially moralised gestures have become embedded in many workplaces, embraced by senior figures for no better reason than they think everyone else is doing it too and by junior figures because the boss is doing it. Students at liberal arts colleges may no longer be listing their pronouns but the head of MI6 currently has his in his Twitter/X bio. Activist-sanctioned holy weeks and days are carefully observed by blue-chip managers. Hospitals, construction sites, police stations, council buildings, banks and hotels are festooned with the visual monstrosity that is the Progress flag. None of this happened with the craze for platform shoes or Agas.

In effect, the storm-surge of wokeness throughout British institutions from 2020 onwards was what the political scientist Cass Sunstein has called a “reputational cascade”: a relatively small number of people started acting in a certain way, each for roughly independent reasons; then at a certain point, a wider group of people started observing the behaviour of the smaller group and copying them, each privately assuming their reputations would be damaged if they did not. Before long, this pattern expanded exponentially, helped by the odd bit of public witch-burning.

Here again is a difference with more benign aesthetic crazes: if you don’t keep up with the moral version, you risk losing your social circle or even your job. But the reputational cascade that was wokeness didn’t just deter dissent from those frightened to swim against the perceived tide. It also incentivised opportunists, who actively used the surging tide to swim further ahead than their competitors. Many organisations latched on to it as a positive marketing strategy, thereby creating workplace structures and habits that, from the inside, now seem very difficult to unpick.

Perhaps, though, we shouldn’t be too gloomy. For of course, the existence of a reputational cascade doesn’t require sincere belief in the rectitude or wisdom of whatever behaviours you are copying, only the sincere belief that nearly everybody else thinks such behaviours are good ones. And, while no doubt depressing as a fact about human nature, this also has an upside: it only takes widespread realisation that other people don’t actually believe what you thought they believed for a reputational cascade to collapse. As organisations start to cotton on properly to the fact the tides of fashion are turning, it will be interesting to see what happens next.

[ Via: https://archive.today/z6ilh ]

==

This feels like it belongs with my "decline of religion" tag.

We're going to see a lot of historical revisionism, lying, ass-covering and gaslighting as the hold of "woke" falls apart, first gradually, then very, very quickly.

The Salem Witch Trials ended almost as quickly as they began once people in charge stopped pretending that they believed the crazy little girls and their theatrics.

The fallout and damage is going to be with us for a long time to come, though.

[aronarchy]

You and alot of the youth libration posters on here: "adults need to listen children and teens and take them seriously"

Me who is trying to understand better: "I agree with that"

The overmajority of the children and teens I take to on platforms other then here: "We don't like media and stories that sexualize us in anyway"

You and alot of the youth libration posters on here for some reason: "That's bad and here's why you should ignore them"

I'm legit confused bruv

(I’ll assume you’re talking about fiction not depicting specific real-life minors here, because that is usually the topic of discussion.)

Your experiences have been very, very different from mine, then.

I’ve had a few IRL friends whom I had discussed or mentioned the topic to or vice versa when I was a child/young teenager; they were generally supportive and didn’t take issue. I met far fewer children and teens IRL who were opposed to it. (I actually can’t remember any specific incident of someone being opposed to it around me. Although that’s probably because it wasn’t really a topic of discussion much. But yeah.)

I am a minor, and I have met many, many minors online who are proship. It’s actively difficult to be a proship minor, even more difficult it is to be a proship or antiship adult, or an antiship minor, because of how we’re commonly erased, how both antis and adult(ist) proshippers like to assume we just don’t (and can’t) exist, and we are rarely listened to.

Meanwhile, the vast majority of fantis I’ve met have been adults. It’s also adults who have driven public discourse for moralizing dark fiction, and adults who lobby for and pass laws censoring art.

I knew a (fanti-adjacent) adult who sexually harassed and abused multiple minors, building his brand on being a “predator-hunter,” protecting minors. He severely stalked and harassed many people, adults and minors, perceived as sexually deviant or problematic, for long periods of time. When my friend, a minor, went public about their abuse from him, they were branded a liar by his friends and supporters, all or almost all of whom are fantis. Many were minors themselves. There were more minors supporting him than supporting my friend, because he had more supporters in general. Should I have agreed with them, because they were minors? Erased the victims?

My friend has experienced sexual harassment from a minor for being interested in “problematic” art depicting fictional CSA. That same person also harassed me, including with bigotry and suicide-baiting, for my related stances and my sexuality, and sexually objectified me (in a mostly unrelated context). Would you support him because “we need to listen to and agree with minors more”?

There have been innumerable cases of adult fantis online being caught grooming, sexually harassing, or abusing minors, including minor fantis, and running exploitative, cult-like communities. Even one (at least one, whom I remember) who raped someone IRL. It’s become almost an expected occurrence that adult fantis go around sharing the “problematic” art they call “CSEM” and make others, including survivors with PTSD who are distressed by it, and even minors, to look at porn they otherwise would not have seen. And trivializing CSEM, calling depictions of fictional characters “CSEM,” and, like what I once saw done to a friend who is a rape and CSEM survivor, being dismissive of them when they are, naturally, offended and triggered by claims that fictional material could be possibly equivalent to actual recordings of rape or abuse.

(Yes, many proshippers are CSA survivors; you can read some testimonials from them here.)

Many, maybe even most minors support the “stranger danger” myth and other adultist, authoritarian beliefs to some degree. Believing that sexual “deviants” or “degenerates” are the cause of CSA and that purging them in a fascist manner is the solution. They would likely invalidate my claims of having been abused, because most people are conditioned to downplay child abuse, even as children themselves. This dynamic is replicated with any other marginalized group. Fully liberationist beliefs are rare in general. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong, or not what we all need, ultimately. (That does not also mean it would automatically be paternalistic to disagree with someone else on what would constitute liberation or whether liberation is good.)

Many minors, like people living under a CSA culture in general, believe in victim-blaming myths like “children and teenagers wearing ‘over-sexualized’ clothing ‘tempts’ adults into sexually assaulting them; we need to promote [modesty standards for clothing] to prevent CSA.” Many people, even survivors, claim that abusers abuse because “they can’t help it,” because they lack emotional self-regulation, because they are mentally ill… or because they looked at some fiction or art depicting abuse in a not-entirely-condemnatory light, and suddenly pro-abuse beliefs magically entered their head entirely against their will, or they got “hooked” on it and developed a “porn addiction” or uncontrollable sex drive until they couldn’t help but “escalate” by attacking real-life minors, as if abusers only abused because of fiction and not from any volition of their own. As if that excuses it, or can adequately explain it away. As if that’s not an excuse SA’ers have been using for a long, long time.

Many of those minor fantis would likely defend my CSA to me, or at least try to paternalistically overwrite my own perceptions, memories, interpretations, and understandings of my experiences, because they don’t fit their preconceived narrative.

These are deeply destructive myths, harmful to minors and survivors, but they are still extremely prevalent.

Does that make them okay?

The vast supermajority of minor fantis I have encountered or observed (and a far greater proportion than among proshippers) are adultist, often violently so, and defend the nuclear family and mock me for advocating abolition, and connect their fanti stance with their adultist stances in logic and framework. They would dismiss me on the basis of my age. They think purging fiction is a sufficient solution to abuse and take issue with my efforts at more concrete activism against abuse culture within communities and political causes of abuse. They think adults should use parental controls and censor minors’ media and coerce us to not view content perceived as problematic or corrupting even if the minor does not agree to that. They either pretend minors with kinks or other “deviant” sexual interests don’t exist, or demonize us and sneer at minors’ experiences of distress and trauma from societal kinkmisia. They would help adult fantis harass proship minors and minors who view dark fiction/create “problematic” art. They play into culturally adultist notions of “childhood innocence,” adult control over youth sexuality, denial of agency, and paternalistic condescension, but also turn to aggression and overt hostility when a minor doesn’t buy into it. See, for example:

I grew up in a conservative, abusive, sexually repressive, censoring environment. Then when I first went online I encountered a ton of the same negativity. I felt a lot of shame and internalized stigma and constant self-doubt because I was worried I was somehow being immoral for enjoying dark fiction and accidentally harming myself in the long run or indirectly wronging people I care about. That was deeply detrimental to my mental health for a long time. I felt a lot of clarity and felt much safer, more validated, more comfortable existing as myself, and less self-hating when I encountered other people who did have similar views which were supportive and who were interested in pursuing the real causes of child abuse (which I didn’t really know a lot about until I started unraveling all the propaganda I had absorbed which scapegoated unrelated things, and has been immensely helpful to my understanding of my conditions and beginning my ability to advocate for myself and others), and things finally made a lot more sense (fanti views were contradictory, confusing, and I knew even when I had a lot of internalized problems that they were very wrong on some level). I also unlearned a lot of adultism in the meantime. I’m not sure where this recent trend of “antishipping is youthlib” is coming from. I’ve always only ever seen fantis promoting adultism along with their ideology, and that it’s been implicitly understood everywhere that if you support antishipping you support adultism too because they’re part and parcel.

I do believe in a standpoint epistemology, where one predicts that a marginalized group is on average much more likely to have correct opinions about issues pertaining to their oppression and blind spots generated among oppressor classes through that oppression, because of the disproportionate pressures and incentives they experience to understand more, or else they suffer more. However, this does not make me a relativist; it does not mean that I repeat “listen to and uncritically agree with whatever marginalized group X says about Y, because reality is subjective and if someone believes it they automatically can be right.” I still believe that there is objective truth, and while I try to find wherever possible where they may be blind spots in my perspective, my goal, ultimately, is still to rely on methods of evidence and logical inference. I don’t go about this in a way anywhere near how the average normie does, and they wouldn’t like my methods either. But still—I recognize, yes, that marginalized people are not monoliths, and we are not going to all agree on everything; at some point, even the privileged will have to look on and deliberate and choose what they think is true. And, sometimes, there’s a reason why one perspective is more rare on the surface (suppressed? claimed to be impossible? threatened?) than another.

Fanti communities are abusive. Fantis are abusive. I still have a lot of trauma from how individuals and groups have treated me, especially online. It was cruel. It was fucking unfair. I don’t think ritual harassment, bigotry, trying to cut someone off from resources, abuse apologia, and enforcement of authoritarian norms are somehow youth liberationist. I don’t think silencing minors or making them afraid to exist in spaces because of harmless beliefs or fictional interests is youth liberation.

This is also how many conservatives have treated fictional depictions of violence. (I can attest to that from personal experience too; that was also incredibly traumatic.) Do we have to censor GTA before we advocate against murder and torture and assault?

It feels very distressing being told that I can’t possibly support views that are important to me and my freedom of expression and in helping resolve the trauma and violence many people I care about experienced without somehow secretly or inadvertently undermining myself and other causes I care about. This paradigm keeps people trapped in toxic communities, feeling like they are being forced to choose either one or the other, which makes it easy for abusers on both sides to exploit us and then moralize against us. It’s suffocating and cruel.

I don’t just disagree with minor fantis when I encounter them. I feel triggered, afraid, threatened/in danger. I remember a whole slew of awful past incidents, and a long time feeling a lot of confusion, feeling gaslit, feeling like my whole self and existence are wrong. I anticipate hostility and possible violence toward me and people I care about. I feel angry, because I remember what people like them did to people I care about (and to me), and tried to do. I feel even more angry that people will run apologia for them and try to gaslight the rest of us into thinking there’s no problem, everything’s fine, shut up and get in line or else you’re next.

Recently, fantis effectively killed a proship CSA survivor for drawing cope art on a private account after a years-long harassment campaign. Do you think your friends would defend this? Do you think they would agree, that this is protecting children?

But this is only my perspective. I know that fantis will always have the moral and discursive advantage over me and that it would be much easier for someone to accuse me of being adultist/corrupting through this, or tokenizing myself/having internalized adultism/being predatory/a dozen other things I’ve been accused of other the years to discredit and invalidate my words which I do, in fact, sometimes worry over, as I argue with myself in my head, as I internalize gaslighting and doubt myself and wonder if I really am wrong and should just abandon trying to carve out a space for myself, to exist as myself and with dignity. It would be easier to be mad at me and think I have insidious or misguided motives or am trying to guilt-trip.

I wouldn’t even really blame you. It’s always been easier for me to blame myself.

(Except then I look around and see all the people, minors, CSA survivors, extremely traumatized and fucked-up people who’ve been badly hurt who feel doubt too who really need this activism and it doesn’t seem so hard then, does it? Cruelty is cruelty. Abuse is abuse. Trauma is trauma. Bigots can fuck right off.)

[balkanradfem]

I’ve had this idea for a book a while ago, and started thinking of it again today. I don’t feel like I can write it, but I can at least present the concept in a text post.

The book begins with an underground temple of an ancient female goddess; she’s been watching the state of her wards, and she’s angry. She’s been sealed underground, but she’s been festering anger and power, and finally, her seal breaks. The night sky lights up, and consequently, every m*n on the surface on the earth finds that he can no longer move.

Some are motionless on their beds, some have fallen to the floor, finding themselves completely immobile. They cannot speak either. They’re found by their flatmates and wives who are concerned, but ultimately unable to do anything about it; they can bring water and food, but he’s not able to eat or drink. Women quickly realize it’s all of them, and it’s not an individual illness. Female researches, scientists and doctors hurry to figure out what is wrong; but there’s no cause whatsoever, they’re all just immobile and mute. They can’t go to work, they can’t eat or drink, they can’t do anything.

In absence of m*n in the work force, women are quickly forced to take over their shifts and get their work done for them; some work is taken over by co-workers, and sometimes it’s a sister or a wife who is called to guess his passwords, and stays for the job. A lot are facing unpleasant discoveries about the m*n in their life, such as their p**n habits, proofs of pedophilia, stalking, exploitation of prostituted women, cheating, grooming younger women, misogynistic ideas online. The women get even less friendly-feelings towards their male counterparts once they have access to all of their finances - they quickly figure out just how selfish and secretive they’ve all been.

Meanwhile, there is some progress in the male condition. Some males have managed to move around a little, not to speak, but some have realized that the bed/floor they’re laying on, has gotten pretty dirty, and decided to clean it. As soon as they had this thought, an ability of movement was granted to them, and very relieved, they were managing to drink water and wash themselves, only to find themselves immobilized once again, this time on their bathroom floors. Few of them have managed to get up again. Few of them figured out just why. None of them have been able to get out of the house, or to get to work.

Women taking the places of CEO’s get access to the financial records of the companies, and very clearly see just how much it’s possible to pay the workers, vs what they’re actually paid, in order to increase the profits. And women decide to put that practice to the depth of hell. New laws are made where all the profits are equally redistributed to the workers, giving them all a chance for a safe and comfortable life. And these workers, are now women only, so for the first time ever, women are the only ones with significantly big buying power.

Women generally use their money to provide food and safety for their families, so with the increased availability of food, furniture, clothes and weather-protective items, the economy is experiencing a new type of boom, where things geared towards women are now sold easily, and women are gaining the power to purchase their own land, houses, farms.

The women are also having some angry confrontations with the still-immobilized, still speechless m*n on the floor; about their misogyny, about the cheating, about the lies, sexualizing minors, leading businesses that cause massive damage and harm to the workers, about how life is suddenly, easier somehow, instead of being harder and more miserable. Domestic violence victims, for the first time, are safe to walk out of their homes, to report, to start their own lives, because now the entire earth is a safe place. Victims of pedophilia, incest, rape, imprisonment, pimping, are now free to speak up, to do in fact, whatever they wanted to the now motionless abusers who are lying on the floor, unable to hit, rape, abuse, murder, talk back, unable to deny anything.

The m*n who did realize they can move, have managed to figure out how to do it more. They won’t be able to move if they’re thinking about their jobs, or what they need to say to their wives to make sure things go their way, they don’t get to move if they want to do anything for their own satisfaction. But, they can move if they decide to wash the floor. Or wash the toilet. If they think about making a meal for his wife. If they’re doing laundry. Same as it appeared, the ability to move disappears as soon as they fail to be doing that specific tasks. They’ll be allowed to eat or drink, but only as much as it’s necessary for them to be doing the manual labour.

They women notice, and convey this information; m*n, if you want to move, think about domestic labour. Some m*n are just grateful to move, and start cleaning the houses, washing the windows, doing laundry, making meals - but they also don’t get to do meals they like themselves. They get to move if they make food their wives like. Some m*n decide this is beneath them, and refuse to do anything until they’re at the very brink of death by dehydration. Some decide to die rather than to take this role upon themselves. They go angrily, but quietly. They don’t get to yell their indignation at their housemates. The women sadly realize there’s nothing they can do at this point - the m*n have chosen their own destiny. They could have lived, if they just did a bit of housework.

The world is looking for an explanation of what is going on, and the book follows a team of female archeologists, who have recorded some explainable findings, patterns and rocks leading close to the underground temple, that we have seen in the beginning. They feel they’re onto something, and their exploration is being reported on social media, the women hoping to find out what has caused this world-wide event of m*n losing their power to move.

Some women decide this is an act of god and something that cannot be influenced or explained, and the reasoning for it is mysterious, but they’re doing the best they can to keep leading their lives, now free of harassment and sexual abuse. Some women decide, that since it destroyed their relationships and love, it must be an act of a demon or a devil, and they gather and start a cult of blaming other women for it, trying to find which horrid witch was evil enough to do this to them, personally. They’re wreaking havoc on the most vulnerable women in the population, before they’re seized and stopped in their tracks, other women refusing to tolerate the religious nonsense, and violence towards their own. 

The women  gain power to reduce carbon footprint and exploitation of the third-world workers and resources; now that the goal is no longer to increase profit, these issues become resolvable by paying for the resources fairly, and quitting the practices that cause insane amounts environmental damage. The women are taking several months to get it down, but within a year, practices have changed, and new laws have been put into motion to prevent the development of more harm.

It’s now months since the m*n have been rendered motionless, and some have started recovering, and walking around to some point; but never outside their house. They’ve been grateful they’re allowed to eat meals, and sleep in a bed. They’re spending their days doing housework, and they also found out, that there’s differences in what each of them has to do in order to move. If this specific one had a woman continuously cook for him, and clean for him, then these specific actions are what he has to do. If the woman has been taking care of his child around the clock, now he has to do it, in the same way she would, or he goes limp again. If he wasn’t specifically counting on a woman to do these tasks, then he’s recovering a little bit faster than the others, allowed to get some free time, only unable to tell when it’s going to end.

They discover they can talk, if they’re saying pleasing and loving things to women. They can clean themselves, as long as the soaps they use are nice-smelling to women. They can fix their appearance, as long as women like to see them like that. They can make themselves sexually appealing, but only if a woman is in the mood for that. If they reach to touch her, to make her, the ability to move is denied for days. Some of them learn the first time; some of them fail to survive this.

The team of the female archeologists, after going through multiple perils, finally find their way down into the ancient goddess temple, and they’re rewarded for their effort; they’re allowed to speak to the goddess directly. They ask, for how long is this going to last? And she replies “For as long as the opposite lasted.”

-

With a book like that, I’d want to put all m*n into a situation where all women have been at one point or another. Where their survival depends directly on being useful and convenient to m*n. Where their appearance, demeanor and behaviour is allowed to exist, only while it’s convenient and attractive to m*n. Where their only option is to appeal to m*n, offer up their labour, their time and energy, their love and compassion, to be rewarded with nothing but continued survival. Where the only place they’re allowed to exist in, is a property of a male. Where the laws are being made not for their success, but for them to be stripped from protection and rights. Where people in power have no regard for their interests.

This is not a revenge fantasy; no m*n is murdered, tortured, raped, dismembered, sold into sex slavery, or turned into a corpse against his own will, they all have a choice, and it’s a choice women have been invisibly making for centuries. I’d like m*n to be aware, just for a moment, what that position feels like, what it means looking at a life of servitude, versus ensured silence and death.

It also calls attention to how bad our situation really is, or was at some point in our lives. We had all but no choice, but to do housework for males at some points in our lives. To cook for them, to clean their property, to take care of their children/animals/possessions, to comfort them, to please them, to appeal to them, to endure whatever abuse they put our way, if we want to keep living and to be acknowledged as human beings. We don’t get rights if we don’t prove to be useful. That is painful. That feels like being motionless and useless and in danger of perishing, unless we do as we’re told, as we’re conditioned to. I want us to be aware as well, that this is a crime against our humanity. We never should have been in that position. Nobody should.

[mariacallous]

According to Russia’s propaganda outlets, one of the goals of Moscow’s invasion of Ukraine is to fight back against the "sexual permissiveness" and “moral decay of the West." Since the war began, Russian politicians and pro-government news net have flooded the airwaves with stories about the “depravity” of the Ukrainian army, repeatedly equated homosexuality with pedophilia, and presented Russian troops as heroes fighting for “traditional values.” But however absurd this rhetoric may be, it’s not new or unique: throughout history, these same ideas have repeatedly arisen in a variety of dictatorships, from Hitler’s Germany and Stalin's Russia to Gambia and Uganda in the 21st century. Meduza explains why authoritarians on both the right and the left can be counted on to persecute LGBT+ people.

Do we really want kids in Russia to have Parent No. 1 and Parent No. 2? Have we lost our minds? Do we really want our kids to have it drilled into their heads that there are more genders than sexes? Do we really want our schools to hammer perversions into their heads that lead to degradation and extinction?

So went one of Vladimir Putin’s numerous digressions during his speech at the signing ceremony for the treaties on Russia annexing four partially-occupied Ukrainian territories last month.

In recent years, the Russian president’s rhetoric surrounding LGBT people has gotten crueler and more intense. In 2014, for example, after signing the law banning “gay propaganda” among minors in Russia, Putin pointed out that “non-traditional relationships” themselves were still legal in Russia, denying accusations from human rights groups that the new law was discriminatory. On the other hand, in the same speech, he went on to name “homosexualism” and “pedophilia” as part of the same list, implying a similarity or connection between them. Even earlier, in 2013, he said that “in Euro-Atlantic countries, moral principles and traditional identity are being denied. [Those countries] are implementing policies that put multi-children families on the same level as same-sex partnership, and faith in God on the same level as faith in Satan.”

In addition to maligning LGBT+ people, Putin has told bogus stories about how, in Western countries, “there’s serious talk of registering parties that aim to promote pedophilia.” The party he was likely referring to was created in the Netherlands in 2006 and only had three members. It disbanded in 2010 after widespread public outrage.

Nonetheless, while Putin used to at least pretend that LGBT+ people have the same rights in Russia as everybody else (apart from the “propaganda” law), he now speaks about them as a force to be fought against. Moreover, in his annexation speech, Putin effectively said that one of the goals of Russia’s Ukraine invasion is to prevent the normalization in Russia of all sexualities not sanctioned by the state.

Meanwhile, for Putin and his propagandists, the idea that there are more than two genders has gone from a “perversion” to an “existential threat to the country and its people.” In Russian state discourse, homosexuality has rapidly became as inherent a characteristic of Russia’s enemies as their “commitment to Nazi or fascist ideas." On October 1, for example, pro-Kremlin film actor and Russian State Duma deputy Dmitry Pevtsov claimed Russian troops are fighting for “families to consist of a mom, a dad, and children — not some guy, some other guy, and some other who-knows-what.” And on a Russian talk show in May, he said that “militant faggots have become the main defenders of Ukrainian values.”

The Russian authorities’ rhetoric surrounding gender and sexuality bears a remarkable resemblance to that of numerous other totalitarian, authoritarian, and dictatorial regimes. To gain insight into why this form of intolerance consistently plays an integral role in how dictators maintain power, Meduza turned to history.

The Nazis simultaneously despised and feared LGBT people

The idea of a government-recognized union between one man and one woman as the only permissible kind of romantic relationship is one of the fundamental principles of most fascist regimes. What's more, both members of the relationship must understand their gender in a way that “matches” their sex characteristics; most fascist governments have considered cross-dressing and being transgender just as “deviant” as sex between two men, for example. It’s no accident that in Vichy France, the state motto was changed from Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité (Freedom, Equality, Brotherhood) to Travail, Famille, Patrie (Work, Family, Homeland).

In the Third Reich, LGBT+ people faced mass persecution and were declared a threat to the welfare of the state and of the people. In the minds of Nazi propagandists, gay people were the antithesis of everything Aryan patriots were supposed to embody: asceticism, masculinity, and a willingness to forego pleasure and entertainment to devote oneself to the homeland and the Führer.

Sexual “perversion” in Hitler’s Germany was seen as a remnant of the decadence and hedonism of the Weimar Republic. The Nazis sought to cut all ties with their predecessor state and tightened legislation criminalizing sexual relations between men. Beginning in 1933, when the National Socialist Party came to power and Hitler’s dictatorship was established, prosecution for homosexuality no longer required even physical evidence — it was enough to bring a witness statement from a “law-abiding citizen” who claimed to have seen a suspect look too intensely at another man.

Like in many dictatorships, the image of LGBT+ people that the Nazis pushed was based on two contradictory premises. The first was that LGBT+ people were weak, pathetic, sick people who didn’t deserve to be a part of society. The second was that homosexuality was passed down like a deadly virus and could destroy German society from within if the proper measures weren’t taken to defeat it.

Thus, on one hand, LGBT people were cast as subhumans who deserved contempt, while on the other hand, they were accused of being some of the most dangerous and insidious enemies of the state. The propaganda failed to explain how a group so weak could simultaneously be so powerful.

“In nazi propaganda, homosexuals were generally portrayed as soft, cowardly, cringing, and untrustworthy creatures,” Dutch historian Harry Oosterhuis has written. “[But] in Hitler's and Himmler's view they nonetheless appeared to possess an imperious character and to have at their disposal special intuitions and aptitudes which were withheld from 'normal' men. They were capable of strongly organizing in secret and thereupon making a grab for power.”

In the 12 years the Third Reich existed, according to historians’ estimates, about 100,000 men were arrested for allegedly engaging in “unnatural sexual acts.” Out of the 53,400 men convicted, between 5,000 and 15,000 were sent to concentration camps. The rest were given prison sentences or forced to undergo “treatment.” Persecution against LGBT+ people also got worse as time went on: from January 1933 to June 1935, about 4,000 men were charged for “unnatural sexual acts,” while from June 1935 to June 1938, the number rose to at least 40,000.

Communist regimes were no friendlier

In 1934, an openly gay Scottish journalist and communist named Harry Whyte wrote an open letter to Joseph Stalin. He wanted to explain to the Soviet leader why, in his view, “a homosexual [can be] considered someone worthy of membership in the Communist Party.” At the time, Whyte had been living in the USSR for several years, working as a writer for the English-language Soviet propaganda outlet the Moscow Daily News. Quoting letters written by Marx and Engels, as well as Stalin's own speeches, Whyte criticized the way gay men were treated under capitalism and fascism. He said that even when he had visited Soviet psychiatrists and asked them to “cure” him, they had admitted this might be impossible. He went on to liken the fight for gay rights to the struggle for women's rights.

Whyte expected Stalin to be receptive to his arguments — and to take a kinder view of gay men than that of the British authorities. Instead, the dictator’s response was brief and hostile: “An idiot and a degenerate.”

Shortly after, Harry Whyte left the Soviet Union and was kicked out of the Communist party — but not before Maxim Gorky published a response to his letter in the Soviet newspaper Pravda. “In a country where the proletariat manages courageously and successfully,” Gorky wrote, “homosexuality, which corrupts young people, is recognized as socially criminal and is punished.”

Despite universal equality officially serving as one of the principal ideals of communist and socialist regimes, LGBT people in the Soviet Union found themselves in similar circumstances to those of queer people in fascist dictatorships. The decade that followed the relatively free 1920s was marked by the passage of legislation even more reactionary and repressive than that of the Russian Empire. Like the Nazis, Soviet leaders viewed LGBT+ people with both contempt and fear. In official discourse, gay people were depicted as untrustworthy figures predisposed to deception and betrayal.

The year before Whyte’s letter, the USSR’s Central Executive Committee criminalized “sodomy," making voluntary sex between two men punishable by up to five years in prison.

However, unlike in fascist regimes, where persecution against gay and trans people took place primarily among the general population, "sodomy" allegations in the Soviet Union were frequently used as a pretext for political purges. Facing a “sodomy” charge under Stalin's government was tantamount to being accused of treason.

Over the next 60 years, about 60,000 people were convicted of “sodomy.” Having these charges on one’s record often made it impossible to find work or enroll in university.

Fidel Castro’s Cuba was another communist state in which LGBT+ people faced brutal repressions. For decades after Castro's rise to power in 1959, LGBT+ people were sent to labor camps and forced to publicly renounce their “criminal predilections.” Police arrested men whose behavior they deemed “feminine” or who dressed “like a hippy.” To extract confessions from gay men, investigators would wrap them in barbed wire or bury them up to their neck and deprive them of food and water.

Castro normalized and encouraged homophobia among the public as well. Like current Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov, the Cuban dictator held that “there are no homosexuals in this country.”

The masculinity cult

Nina Khrushcheva, a professor of international affairs at The New School and the granddaughter of Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev, has attributed authoritarian leaders’ consistent persecution of LGBT+ people to their constant need to emphasize their own strength. The image of a man as the embodiment of masculinity, she writes, is connected in these leaders’ minds with the “natural order of things,” the violation of which poses an immediate threat to their continued power. For dictators and their devotees, queer people provoke not just disgust and confusion but also fear, because they represent an “alternative” order.

Under totalitarianism, homophobic discourse is usually predicated on the idea that if same-sex relationships or non-binary gender identities are normalized, there will be no place for “normal” people in the “new” world. Despite the fact that it’s LGBT+ people who have consistently faced persecution under fascist and communist regimes, dictators promote the idea that queer people are the ones who pose a danger to others. As Khrushcheva wrote in a 2021 column:

These leaders' reliance on “hegemonic masculinity” – the idea that men should be strong, tough, and dominant – to bolster their position should not be surprising. Authoritarian states are fundamentally weak, and dictators are fundamentally insecure. So, they constantly attempt to project strength.

But in today's fast-changing world, ordinary people are feeling insecure, too – especially those who think their traditionally “dominant” positions are being eroded. That makes them eager to embrace strongmen who promise a return to the order and predictability of a more socially rigid past. In other words, people are afraid of change, and think they need macho leaders and patriarchal rules to protect them.

The first order of business for authoritarian leaders seeking to scapegoat queer people is to convince the population that minority sexualities are dangerous. To that end, they usually claim that there’s a correlation between the sexuality or gender identity they disapprove of and some imagined negative trait. For example, authorities might claim that LGBT+ people are incapable of engaging in patriotism or living in society without imposing their “deviant” predilections on “normal” people.

To stir up homophobic sentiment among the public, propagandists try to convince the heterosexual and cisgender majority that LGBT+ people’s worldviews and psyches make them something akin to invaders from another planet. This is because it’s much easier for people to hate “aliens” than to hate people who have everything in common with the majority except their sexuality.

Leaders in authoritarian and totalitarian regimes frequently claim that LGBT+ people are a threat to demography, depicting homosexuality or nonbinary gender identities as a virus that can be passed from person to person. State propaganda traditionally seeks to scare people by asserting that the “spread” of homosexuality will lead to a decline in birthrates — and ultimately to extinction. But this is a fantasy: nothing remotely close to this has been observed in any democratic country where same-sex relationships are legal and socially acceptable.

One of the world’s most well-known homophobic leaders was Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe’s prime minister from 1987 to 2017. When trying to justify his repressive policies against LGBT+ people, Mugabe often presented the same arguments Vladimir Putin has begun using in recent years: that gay people are “harmful” and “unnatural,” and that their supporters are either “idiots” or “Satanists.”

In the years since Mugabe’s rule came to an end, Zimbabwe has seen the opening of its first health clinics for gay and bisexual men — a step lauded by the local LGBT+ community as a “historic victory.” In other African dictatorships such as Uganda, however, state-sanctioned homophobia continues to thrive.

After inculcating homophobia among the public, dictators themselves usually shape their own public image around stereotypes of masculinity, contrasting themselves with people who don’t fit into their “traditional” conceptions of manhood. And because citizens’ primary responsibility in authoritarian regimes is to buttress the state, LGBT+ people are stigmatized and demonized for not fitting into the model of the “classic” family and for showing their individuality — something authoritarian governments strive to suppress.