#mediocre limerick

[snow4berry]

There once was a PM named Truss

Who came and went without much fuss

The lettuce outlasted

That sour old bastard

Next time I'm voting for the puss

[confused-stars]

limerick i wrote half-asleep in my head at like 6am today:

There once was a man from the sea

Who had a deep fondness for tea

But sadly his friends

Did not love complex blends

The same way as Duke Wriothesley and me

[thetrashiestoftrash]

My most popular work is a limerick I wrote in 2008 which had, in 2011, more net positive upvotes than my most popular fanfic has views after twice as long. This is not because it's that good; I have a decent handle on rhyme and meter, and I knew what was popular among the sort of internet nerds who read xkcd in 2008.

It was cool to see my anonymous submission hold its position at the top of a LimerickDB for the site's entire lifespan, but it also sort of cured me of caring too much about kudos or notes or whatever. Like, I'm only human, I do still get excited when I get notes and I feel disappointed when I don't, but my limerick experience is a pretty big reminder that notes don't really mean anything. It's easier for me to stay neutral about it, because hey, a mediocre limerick I wrote in college was consistently voted #1 because I deliberately referenced a popular meme, how could any of this possibly matter?

[lea-andres]

If I was more talented, I'd write a sick ass rhyme for Team Hooligan to hit Rough and Tumble with next time they cross paths in my fic, since that seems to be a running gag for all of Rough and Tumble's opponents to do.

But sadly, I don't think I possess the ability to make a good one. Or even a shitty one.

I can do a mediocre at best haiku. Or a shitty limerick-

Wait. Nevermind, I've got an idea. 😈

[curvedspace]

Celebrating Mediocrity: The Fall of Meaningful Art

I am, without a doubt, the most judgemental person I know. Admittedly, it is not the best trait to have, and where I try and cover up by saying my taste is simply refined, what I mean is I am insanely picky. I am, however, curious. I refuse to judge something without trying it, at the very least, which is, superficially, a positive trait.

However, I am here, instead. Having just listened to Ice Spice’s new song (the fart one. You know the one), having given up within the first twenty pages of Haunting Adeline, and writing this in a rage-induced haze when I should be preparing for my chemistry mid-terms.

Having grown up surrounded by books, by literature and media and being a deep appreciator of all art-forms has, while not inculcated in me the most cultured or intellectual perspective, inculcated in me a perspective that aims to find meaning behind work.

Of course, some work is meant to be meaningless. Songs written less for the lyrics, more for the beat. Limericks and silly, light-hearted books. Not all art has to be revolutionary or politically motivated or a constant struggle against some form of oppression or ‘the system’. Some art simply has to be, and that’s okay!

I am an avid appreciator of ‘having to be’ art. I use light, unserious fiction as an escape, I listen to silly songs meant to be goofed around to, I watch my little sister and my friends make cute art that holds no depth, with its only purpose being to be looked at and to exist. However, I do not understand this current trend of overhyping mediocrity at its finest.

Let me begin my tirade by making this very clear: I don’t hate any of these creative personalities mentioned. They are, however, perfect examples for the point I am trying to prove and thus important in my rant. (except haunting adeline. I cannot. I need to be monetarily compensated for my exposure to whatever that was)

The rise of social media and, specifically, TikTok has seen an increase in the number of artists on all platforms. While I am not chronically online, nor am I ‘up to date’ with the kids, I am constantly filled in by those around me, and specifically so by my little sister, who prefaces almost all her new song choices by giving me an unasked for background on the artist. Most of them are TikTokers or Youtubers, and while I do see the appeal in writing a few, mediocre lyrics (at best) and then adding a catchy, social-media baited beat and blowing up, I don’t see the appeal from the consumer’s perspective because.

Really?

Am I just geriatric? Is my skin about to wither and are my teeth about to fall off? Is ageing the reason for my bad posture and irritability? Or am I simply so disconnected from social media that being exposed to it in such sudden bouts is jarring?

To appreciate a catchy beat is one thing. to make someone an overnight star when their skill is undeserving of it, when they don’t hone the craft as they should, don’t honour it nor value it as they should, is another. To watch people produce songs, over and over again, that sound like they were written via alphabet soup, slapping on the same, almost nursery-rhyme sort of rhyme-scheme onto it with no lyrical creativity whatsoever, and adding on a catchy beat and watching people froth at the mouth over it is…odd.

There are artists like Hozier, who sound and write like they spend their days carving out a hole in their chest to claw out whatever’s inside onto a paper and then, subsequently, to have the same emotion be echoed by their instrument. And while appreciation of superficial music isn’t wrong, holding the two to the same esteem

And as the rise in ‘TikTok music’, meant for consumption without having to put any actual, genuine thought into both production and consumption, continues, a simultaneous drop in genuine, meaningful music is seen alongside it. A lack of music meant to invoke thought, because for some reason thinking and, god forbid, thinking hard are fates every person seems to want to escape these days, wanting things as easy as humanely possible.

(NOTE: I sound like a 70 year old. I am not 70. I am in fact very youthful. Please do not shame me for my ‘boomer’ ideology, I can assure you I am far from that, though im not young enough to know ‘fanum tax’ without my little sister’s aid, either. I honestly still don’t get it, but, irrelevant)

And, in addition to this, a turn of events that has caused me multiple grievances: the fall of mentally stimulating literature. Where we once had books like Lolita (I am obsessed, visibly), Crime and Punishment, 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, and even sweeter, lighter fiction, such as Pride and Prejudice (:D), Oliver Twist, Heidi (a childhood favourite), Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and even modern, romance fiction that I enjoyed, more so as a guilty pleasure, such as The Song of Achilles (a book I found via social media!), The Fault in Our Stars, and so many more, they were all. Well.

Consensual.

Literature, I believe, has been consumed for mental stimulation, as well as for escapism. There are dualities to it. people who may read solely ‘light’ books are no lesser than those who read books for intellectual discussion. Enjoying a romance novel makes you no lesser than those who enjoy, I don’t know, war and peace. The purpose for reading varies, for many, and as was the case for music, enjoyment of a silly, escapist story isn’t a bad thing.

However, the rapid decrease in genuinely intellectually stimulating literature, a saturation of the market with books written by and for women who wish to consume nothing but literary porn is…shocking. Of course, amid these authors, a hidden gem or two may be found, but those are rare and your chance of happening upon them is purely dependent on your luck.

The decline in intellectual literature, a stop in books condemning social issues, a pause in the dystopian novels, the carefully crafted mysteries, the sappy and yet poetic romance novels, in the poetry, written in flowery language and concealing a meaning behind its elegant scrawl, or written plainly and meant to pierce the heart immediately. The marvels of literature, the power of words, of the ability to influence, has been stripped down to fit a mainstream market, a market that runs on consumption by women with. Really odd affinities.

While I’ve been more or less bland about my distaste so as to not get tracked down and murdered on the street about pop culture and stars, knowing the sheer insanity and determination fans have when it comes to their favourite celebrities (I recommend channeling this dedication into learning a new skill), I’m going to be positively hateful about Haunting Adeline.

To be subject to that book is worse than torture. Everything I knew about that book had been, initially, against my will. However, I refuse to judge without trying. I am currently working on this flaw of mine, rest assured. I will now be judging indiscriminately and based on sheer vibes alone. Blessedly, my remaining brain cells that managed to escape the massacre inflicted upon me by this book, forced to me close it before I further damaged by rapidly decreasing IQ.

Instead, I took a walk, touched grass, and read the goodreads reviews. And yes, I read the five-star ones. No, I did not read the assault scenes. I value my sanity. I gave up when he started chopping people up and acting like he was a moral messiah for saving people from assault whilst simultaneously being willing to assault.

As someone who comes from a developing country, I have seen first-hand what harmful effects media can have when propagating ideas. To market this book as ‘dark romance’, when the romance in itself is assault, would send a rather iffy message about what girls like today, don’t you think? And yes, I understand the appeal of obsession to the point of insanity, I get it, you’ve never been loved wholly and want someone to desire you. but, in this form?

It’s just a book, yes, but think of the influence this book has. Think of those who see this book marketed as a dark ‘romance’, on an app with children, who stumble across posts about this book, and think ‘oh, so people like this’

‘but aru, it’s just fiction, we all want a man who will kill foor us in fiction, why don’t you have anything to say against that?’ because chances are, 9/10 times, a man wont kill you. be realistic, who is that dedicated in this day and age? Chances of him assaulting a woman? Hm.

BUT. To counter my own point, the main target audience for this book is women. So. WHY. WHY WOULD YOU. WHY.

Maybe I am at fault here. Perhaps I am the moron staring blearily at my screen at 3 AM, my organic chemistry textbook hidden underneath my computer screen as I type, unable to see whats right in front of me. Maybe im trying to make sense of a picture whilst missing multiple puzzle pieces.

Explain it to me, what about a rapist is attractive. What leads you to consume, mindlessly, this superficial media, to saturate your market with a fantasy, a fetish, for being loved and devoured and obsessed over, what leads to you craving a misogynistic undertone in your romance. What about assault gives you the butterflies? What about systematic oppression has you curling your hair around your finger?

Enlighten me.

[umichenginabroad]

Week 1 in Limerick

Hello, it's Katie again, after a fun first week in Ireland. Here's an overview of each day so far and all the cool stuff I've done.

Tuesday: My flight landed in Dublin around 5 AM, and after a nightmarish trip through customs (I had none of the documents ready), I had a few hours to relax there while I waited for Arcadia to pick me up. I met up with Grant and Maanav from Umich, as well as Grace, Jess, Ekundayo, Pascale, Luke, Maddy, and Lexx, students from other universities also in the Arcadia-sponsored program. We all had little to no sleep on the plane ride, so we were exhausted most of the day. Once Grainne and Stanley from Arcadia picked us up, we dropped our bags off at the Harding Hotel and went to their office for a brief orientation. Then it was off on a quick scavenger hunt through the streets of Dublin before meeting at the entrance to Trinity College. (Not to brag, but my group won the photo challenge). After that, we had an early dinner at The Church, a really nice old church turned restaurant. I had the coconut vegetable curry and a peanut butter brownie, and they were both pretty good. Then, we headed back to the hotel, and then me, Jess, and Pascale went on another walk downtown so Pascale could get a SIM card and we could see more of the city.

Wednesday: We woke up around 8 am for a quick breakfast at Harding, which had a nice little restaurant in the back. We reviewed the orientation material, and met Ashley, another student on the program whose flight was Wednesday morning. Then we got back on the bus to go to Limerick, which was about 2.5 hours away. I was still pretty jetlagged, so I alternated between nodding off and reading my guidebook. Once we got to campus, we put away our bags and walked over to the library for coffee and snacks, and then a quick tour of campus with the Arcadia crew. Dinner was at the Stables, one of the major pubs/restaurants on campus. I had a vegetarian curry (again), and a pint of Guinness. If you've never tried it before, it's like a moldy loaf of bread that got somehow juiced, but apparently if you drink it enough you'll start to like it. However, the UL Irish dancers were very excellent and it was super fun to watch. The Arcadia group headed back to Thomond Village, our dorms, to have drinks and hang out. We also brought over new friends from other colleges, such as Savannah and Lauren, who are both really cool.

Thursday: Today was our first full day on the UL campus, and it started with breakfast at the Pavillion, which is another dining hall/campus bar. The food was mediocre, but it kept me going for a while so that was good. The UL summer school staff gave us a quick orientation for the program, which was my third including the Umich and Arcadia ones. I think I'm very oriented at this point. Then, we got a more in-depth tour of the UL campus, including the library, the gym, and the concert hall, before heading back to the Pavillion for lunch and iced coffee. The afternoon was blocked out for either classes or introductions with research project leaders, so I went to the latter. Since Jess and I are both working on projects in chemical engineering/environmental science, we work under the same principal investigator and in the same area, although our PhD mentors and lab spaces are different. My mentor, Nina, briefly introduced herself and gave me her number, and then Jess' mentor, Italo, took us on a tour of the labs and a walk along the trails running through UL. For dinner that night, we had curry (I promise it's the last time), and most of my group didn't like it, but I did. We went back to the Stables for Trivia Night, and thought we did pretty well, but the group from UW Madison beat us (boo). Finally, we headed back to Thomond Village for a SpongeBob watch party with the Arcadia group. I forgot how funny it is, especially DoodleBob, which has the stupidest slapstick humor but is iconic.

Friday: This was our first full day of research, so Jess and I took a brief tour of the library, then headed over to the Lonsdale building to meet with our mentors and get to work. In the morning, I worked on the safety training we received, then Nina gave me an overview of her project and a tour of the lab. We are working with sludge, which is basically a liquidized mix of waste products, and using hydrothermal carbonization to extract hydrochar, which has potential uses in sustainable energy. In the afternoon, I read Nina's article detailing the project so far, and she showed me how to use the HTC equipment. After work, the Arcadia group, plus Lauren and Savannah, went to the city for a night out. We went to Dolan's pub, which was giving out free Aperol Spritz cocktails, so we lucked out. Additionally, we met Laura, a friendly bartender who goes to UL. Afterwards, half of us went back to Thomond, while the other half went barhopping for a while. The next pub was Charlie Chaplins, which I didn't like as much because the music was too loud for any of us to hear each other, which always bothers me. Around 12:30, Lauren and I took a taxi home because we were tired and had an early-morning excursion to Limerick City, while the rest of the group went to a nightclub. Our taxi driver was friendly and conversational, which was super great. With the exceptions of the airport customs worker and a taxi driver on Saturday, pretty much everyone we've met in Ireland has been super friendly and fun (or craic, as they say here).

Saturday: Saturday morning, we woke up for our trip to Limerick City with the UL summer school team, and got there around 10 am. They gave us two hours to explore the area, so we started with a trip to the Milk Market, which is basically a farmer's/flea market that sells food, coffee, jewelry, clothes, and all sorts of random things. We tried some yummy coffee and pastries at the different stands and walked around. Then, we walked around downtown, passing by St. John's Castle. It's really impressive because it's been around since the Middle Ages and withstood several invasions. Then, we looped back towards St. Mary's Cathedral to meet the bus. A few of us needed to go to the bathroom, so a tour guide let us in the church, and we got to see the interior for free. Then, we took the bus to Bunratty, a preserved village with a beautiful 15th-century castle, which we got to tour. If you ever visit, be careful with the narrow steps in the towers. There was only room for a single-file line, but we did not do great at organizing ourselves so we had crowds trying to move up and down. Frustrations were high, but the view was so worth it. The village around Bunratty also had some cool preserved houses from the 19th-century. That evening, we went out again. First, we went to the Locke Bar for dinner and drinks. I had the soup, which came with excellent Irish soda bread, and also shared appetizers with the group. Afterwards, we went to another bar, and then to Smyth's, which had a lot of room for dancing and where we met quite a few other people from the UL summer program. We were a bit confused when the bar closed around midnight, but then everyone went upstairs to the Icon nightclub, which was packed with people and had a super fun vibe. We stayed to closing time, around 2:30, and then waited for a taxi to take us back. The driver was much less friendly than the last, and initially refused to take all 5 of us in an attempt to get a bribe. Once we got back, everyone went straight to bed due to being so tired.

Sunday: After our fun Saturday, we all wanted to sleep late, but we also were planning to see Galway. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to catch the bus or train, and since the next ones weren't for another 3 hours, we decided to stay in Limerick and explore some more. We had brunch at a place called Hook and Ladder, which had great food, coffee, and a super friendly waitress. Then, we took a walk toward the city stadium, which had a major hurling match going on. We couldn't get tickets, but we could hear the announcer and see the crowds in the stands. After buying a few groceries at a shopping center, we headed back the way we came, through the massive crowd that just formed after the game ended. It was relatively calm, aside from a kid with a loud horn, and we all felt immersed in Irish culture. When we finally got back, we were all dead tired, so we hung out at the apartments and watched Spongebob.

[izzyspussy]

I wonder --- what would be like if all of the losers had to write some sort of creative writing? Prose/poetry?? Not just Mr. Handsome.

I think Ben would be absolute garbage at prose lol. Poetry only! He can communicate via one-to-one word of mouth or pudding-thick metaphor and that's it.

Mike and Stan would both make great journos, with a particular talent for persuasive OpEds. Stan is one of those people who, as a student, was marked poorly on papers not for being technically wrong but because his content pissed the teacher off. They could never find any legitimate reason to mark off, so they always just claimed he didn't follow directions. He grew very quickly into the biggest pro at malicious compliance, and in college he absolutely took his papers to department heads with annotated rubric in hand to get his grade corrected lmfaooo. Mike actually has a few articles and a short story in local Derry publications. His style is friendly and intimate and he's very well-liked by readers, despite his lack of proliferation.

Bill, as we know, is... a great writer by some definitions. I think (like King) he has, uh, strengths and weaknesses. But he (unlike King imo) has a wonderful editor (or perhaps King just doesn't listen to his...?), and so his only real problem in a finished product is the endings, which can be argued as a matter of taste. He still writes tragedy after 2.0, but it's just not so much of, like, just a fucking bummer ykwim. He cannot write nonfiction or poetry to save his fucking life. He also tended to piss teachers off, but in his case he really didn't follow the directions (and usually was given a very lenient grade besides).

Bev would also tend very strongly toward poetry like Ben if given the option, mainly because she doesn't actually want to use words, so the more obfuscated she can make her meaning the better. She much prefers other mediums to writing. She makes an attempt once, feeling like she hasn't really wooed Ben in the way he wooed her, and leaves him a short poem about How He Makes Her Feel inside one of his work folders, handwritten on the back of a rebate receipt. it's-equality.gif

We can claim we also know Richie to be a good enough writer (he had to at least start out with his own stuff, and get noticed enough to end up with writers in the first place). I think he's not particularly gifted, but he's above mediocre. Typical successful white guy fare. However, he is incredibly versatile. His quality of writing is just-above-average across all types and genres. Stand-up, script, prose, poetry, lyrics; comedy, tragedy, romance, horror, nonfiction. He can do it all at the same general level (give or take some skill from practice or lack thereof). He also pissed teachers off, but because he maintained a perfect B average despite not paying attention or sometimes even showing up at all. He was a favorite of some though because his papers were always, at least to some degree, enjoyable to read and usually made at least one unique point.

Eddie has a gift with words, just not when he's trying to write lmao. If he wants or needs to have something written, he has to record himself talking it through first, and then transcribe it, and then laboriously edit it into whatever format it's supposed to be. He particularly struggles with making his words "professional" (he struggles with professionalism in general; his personality is simply way too big for All That Shit). He's never tried to write poetry, but he loves to read a limerick. He likes the snappiness.

[drivingsideways]

hi! baby writer anon again :D

a few days ago i saw a post that said writing is basically committing word crimes and that made me laugh out loud! LOL

it's this one: https://jacubesilvora.tumblr.com/post/673918071165091840/writing-is-not-about-telling-an-epic-story-or

and then today i had the epiphany while bathing that i feel unable to write sometimes because of -

a. how much of me and my inner feelings i am exposing thru my writing. readers may not know about it, but i do , and my closest friends do

b. i admire other people's fic and writing styles. i love the way they've shaped the characters and told their story. i am worried my take will not live up to theirs, which is an illogical statement, but it is what it is. i am worried my writing style is not 'good enough'. again, illogical. so im going to start calling it writing style expressive style because that's exactly what it is. i am just trying to creatively express myself and my thoughts and feelings about some things.

Hahaha, " word crimes" is definitely our calling, baby-writer anon!

Hiiiiii!

Fwiw, I tend to think all the best writing is born from deep feeling; you have to be interested in the world and that's never only an intellectual engagement, is it? But I know what you're saying- writing anything is exposure- in tumblr meme terms- the mortifying ordeal of being known- and depending on what you're writing about, it can be excruciating. One of the terrifying and glorious things about writing is, I think, that you get to know yourself through the process of writing, even more than a reader might. That's always a rewarding, if difficult, journey. It doesn't really end; every new thing you write will be part of that accumulation of self-knowledge. And sometimes that knowledge sits really heavy. But this is also practice, if you know what I mean? It's just part of becoming comfortable with who you are, and not to sound like THE OLD that I am, but time will do some of the heavy lifting for you :)

Joan Didion famously wrote that she writes to find out what she thinks, wants and fears (paraphrasing badly!). I remember reading that and having this lightbulb moment about why I write- I write to find out what I feel, because that's not always clear to me. And you know what, that realization freed me up a bit. I don't want to get on a soapbox here about how sexism has devalued writers whose primary pre-occupation is with the emotional world, but you know, I had internalized those things as a reader and writer even before I put a single word down on a page, and it took some practice to un-learn those early lessons.

As for writer-envy: I feel you??? When I read some stuff by fave writers or every time I discover a new writer whose work is astonishing, I'm like, wow, I really have nothing to contribute to this world as a writer. But y'know, then the writing bug itches hard, and I write. Because despite all the evidence pointing to my mediocrity, I have to. There's nowhere else to put the story and my tiny brain needs the space, ok? *shrug hands emoji *

So let us write more, fellow baby-writer anon! Let us write anything! Everything! A limerick, a novella, a novel that no-one will read but us, a paean to our favourite star's eyebrows that our friends will dig up on our fiftieth birthday and recite back at us. It's all good! "Expressive style" is a great way of looking at it, and I'm totally borrowing this from you. My expressive style is dull prose, so what, anon? Let's carpe this diem etc.

[the-redacted-line]

The Narrator(s) : Part 1

Gmod Narrator: The Original -Strong Dad™ vibes when he’s done with Stanley’s bs or for his safety -Would gladly give random wiki facts about sharks, and invest into art instead of talking about Stanley constantly -Subpar with interior design, and mediocre with sound mixing -[Door Sound] -Rough-draft mode with no subtleties on Stanley’s insecurities, personal details regarding himself and his boss -Calls Stanley “sport”, “kid”, and positively encouraging him in rare moments -However like a Dad™, “punishments” for derailing the story is to straight up kill Stanley -Not that great with a lot of things, but put Stanley first before anything else; Most of the time “And for now, I’ll be happy to be the destination instead of the journey. But, only for now.” Demonstration Narrator: Version 2.0 -A bit miffed that the original story was confusing, and contradictory to most players -Brings the game to the player, and definitely not for the real world money -Terrible at time management -Hums like a dork when he’s bored -Can only give three compliments, all produced by one entire department  -Accidently makes the player run into a brick wall -Let’s get a machine that can tell you whether or not you’re in a demonstration, or in a demonstration within another demonstration :) -Will call the player a pervert, no matter what button you press -Created the “Mug in the trash can” game, because he can’t accept the demo to be over so suddenly -Hates that the main game would have more than one ending -Everything, even the boxes, are not useless props -Makes weird word association games, and dramatic novel reading -List off more side effects about the demo than a prescription commercial -If you’re experiencing one or more of those side effects, just dance  -It was only supposed to be eight minutes. It was only supposed to be eight minutes. It was only supposed to be eight minutes -EIGHT - 100% proves that “video games can make you cry” at the end “Freedom, we were free. There was nothing to think. Nothing to know. Simply us, in that moment. Wasn’t it beautiful? Wasn’t that moment so singularly, piercingly beautiful? We were free...” Dota Narrator: The Announcer -Getting into the competitive side of gaming outside of the Parable, and yet can be late to the matches -Canonically drinks when the player does anything stupid, like getting killed constantly -Plays the electric guitar for fun -Not great with gaming strategics, and half of the time doesn’t even know what the game is about -Harnesses his inner Gmod Narrator by silently judging the player’s decisions -References Stanley spectating, but not playing Dota occasionally -Gets a bit too personal about his existence, supposed heartbreak, life and death, and ridiculing everyone else’s life choices -Struggles with gaming lingo, and would either use the gaming guide or ask Stanley about them with mixed results -It’s time for DIGITAL SPORTS -Only allowed to say one curse word -Releases his homicidal side through video game characters being slaughtered, and players getting frustrated with anything “Welcome to the end of Dota, let’s commemorate with a nice long beep.”

Dungeons 2 & 3 Narrator: Narratus the Narrator -Doesn’t get paid enough to get bossed by an antagonist telling him how he should be doing his job -But, would gladly kill anyone or mildly inconvenience anyone who even thinks about taking his job as a Narrator -On occasion, will side with the antagonist when it comes to game mechanics delaying the game; And, violence -Spitefully wishes he could do his job with actual professionals for once -Gets vietnam flashbacks about the electrical shocks and/or more DLCs -Has an adorable, but terrifying laugh -Only allowed a few curse words in beginning, so not to trigger the ESRB ratings -Violence isn’t the answer to everything, except this genre -Isn’t great with organization, and gets some scripts mixed up from time to time -No filter for the sass, belittling, or cursing the player and the game mechanics ”END! And, this time it’s for real!” Remastered HD Narrator: The Hard Reset -An amalgamation of both Gmod and Demo Narrators with an identity crisis -Has the unfortunate habit of getting wrapped up in situations he had little or no power over  -Disregarded the demo’s #1 rule regarding the past: “Just ignore it, cause it doesn’t exist” -Inherits the Gmod Narrator’s weakness with closed doors -Slightly abandons the real meaning in the original game about why Stanley is good at puzzles, and critical thinking -Takes the “ride or die” mentality to a whole new level -Studied thousand of tables as a hobby to find the perfect one for the serious room, like Stanley’s obsessive button pushing; And, denies it -Likes space, fire, tables, new age music, writing limericks, playing the acoustic guitar, and making Stanley uncomfortable; All in that order -Weaknesses: Narrative contradictions, The Adventure Line, open-ended games, doors, having no control, cursing, losing Stanley physically or mentally, and the mere thought of looking through his table notes -Making everyone confused whether or not he’s a human, a voice in Stanley’s head, an nigh-omnipotent powerful being, or a robot “That's all right. I'll wait for you to decide what's the right thing to do. Take as much time as you need.“

[zorilleerrant]

2018

January

Animorphs fanfic: Restrained A snippet from Cassie’s POV. Violent death tw

HP fanfic: Terrible TMR POV character study

Star Wars fanfic: A Reylo Story just a little jokefic making fun of anti-reylos

February

Survivorship Bias prose poem about how everything is doomed and there’s too many things to try to deal with, and also I have terrible depression

slurs poem musing on what I call myself and what other people call me

there’s error in translation poem about art and how we interpret and react to it

March

Please Come In microfiction about a changeling. character study

there are only two genders: limericks and shut up it’s a limerick about transphobes I don’t know what you want

MCU fanfic: a true gentleman this is probably technically a ficlet. shuri x bucky. humor

Fandom: Iraq or Afghanistan? potterlock xover I guess. humor

April

there is no one community sort of an essay sort of a rant on how the fuck we’re supposed to navigate the fuckery that is the alphabet soup

June

of course it was a poem about pride and how it gets historicized. it’s mediocre and did not convey the point I intended it to

July

elves a little bit of humor about elf-human relations. this is background for a story I’m writing but it stands alone without me having to explain anything about it, and the rest of the story would honestly be more distracting than enlightening especially since there aren’t any elves in it (like. only in the background)

August

ten seconds vent poem about how tagging is hard

the tortoise and the hare it’s a retelling of the fable, only, like, have you ever seen actually real turtles and bunnies racing because it’s that instead

buffy this was in response to discussion about what changes should be made to buffy in a remake. anyway it’s somewhat humorous but is mostly about how the actual show ignores race issues and the fandom doesn’t often seem to want to contend with that. also very queer but that’s just because if I were making a TV show I just would make it incredibly queer because why not. it’s not really a story it’s a description mostly, like AU where

September

straight privilege a vent poem because people don’t understand how privilege or normativity works and it makes me cry

says a vampire elf probably this paragraph is a satire of that thing where people write long, loving descriptions of the sexy men in their novels that are awkward when it’s supposed to be close third. it’s first person tho

November

cassandra’s gift vent poem about censorship and purity culture

this one dream I had no it’s literally a dream I had but it’s a funny story

dear abby, I poem about being nonbinary

[underwearparade]

Here is a story:

I decided to ride to work today because its windy, but not the hell damn ass ice wind that we had yesterday. It is a balmy 34 degrees by golly. So I’m riding and I have a kick-ass tail wind most of the way. But about one block away from my house, a wad of hair escaped my ponytail and started flapping into my face. Particularly around my lips. I typically wear enough lipstick that I look like my profession involves giving mediocre ~jobs in parking lots. So this hair whipping around my pie hole is getting stuck in my lipstick, then blowing around my face and onto my glasses. I started trying to move this hair and tuck it into my helmet, but it was so windy all this was in vain and I had mittens on so I just ruined my highlight and got lipstick in even MORE places.

And now I shall take my time trying to write a salacious limerick for today’s blog-a-day. 

[justjaderp]

"Opportunities don’t happen. You create them."    - Chris Gosser

Meet Damon Ellis!

General Characteristics

Name: Damon Icarus Ellis

Other Names: Day, D-Money, Ick, Icky, Feathers, Sunshine

Age: 22

Alternate Forms: In some verses: Wizard, Shapeshifter- panther

Theme Song: Sun is Shining - Axwell & Ingrosso; Here Comes the Boom - Nelly

Personal Characteristics

Birth Date: November 13th Birth Place: Boston, MA Hometown: Boston, MA Primary Objective: To make a life for himself and his mother and baby sister Secondary Objectives: To be the best fighter around, to make it to the MMA, to represent his home in a positive way

Desires

Secrets: He nearly died one day after getting jumped in an alley by a rival’s posse. He went to the hospital, stayed and paid his bills out of pocket, and never spoke of it because he didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction. Quirks: Smiles after getting punched in the face, Never stops moving

Mental Characteristics

Known Languages: English, Spanish Lures: Salty food, Promise of success, downtrodden people Savvies: Fighting, Dancing, Technology Ineptities: Language Arts, Being serious Temperament: Sanguine Hobbies: Fighting, Dancing, Running, Enjoys going to random places to watch other people in their element i.e. comedy clubs, skate parks, lectures, etc.

Intellectual Characteristics

Logical-Mathematical: Poor Spatial: Advanced Linguistic: Spoken word- Advanced; Reading and Writing- Poor Bodily-Kinesthetic: Very Advanced Musical: Advanced Interpersonal: Advanced, though he tends to get himself in a bit of trouble when people are already aggressive or hateful towards him because he just isn’t able to take that seriously. To his surprise, that agitates them even more. Intrapersonal: Mediocre Naturalistic: Poor Existential: Average

Philosophical Characteristics

Morality: Doing what's right even if it gets him in trouble, people are innately good but are often pushed to be bad Perception: Aware that his situation has always been less than ideal, but continues to work and have hope for the future

Spiritual Characteristics

Religion: “There’s someone somewhere, but I’ve got other things to worry about.” Superstitions: His family is always watching over him, Routine before fights, Karma Virtues: Diligence, Justice Vices: Pride, Envy

Likes and Dislikes

Likes: Dogs, Long runs, Potato Chips, Fries Dislikes: Pigeons, Racists, Misogynists, Birthday Cake

Apparel

Equipment: Hand wraps, Boxing gloves, medical tape, water bottle, sweat towel, mouth guard - all in a ratty old Adidas duffel bag Wardrobe: Athletic Apparel, almost always

Social Characteristics

Emotional Stability: Highly stable, takes shit like a champ Humor: Finds humor in almost everything- to a fault. Too much of life is spent straight-faced in his opinion Reputation: Popular in his own right, notorious in the ring and on the street, overall liked but he isn’t viewed as the brightest lightbulb in the factory Status: Popular

School and Work

Degrees: None Education: Some college- he takes classes here and there when he can with the ultimate goal of becoming a physical therapist if fighting doesn’t pan out Learning Type: Kinesthetic learner

Occupation: Front desk and trainer at a local gym, Fighter- boxing, mma, street, whatever will pay him to win Boss: At the gym, his boss is the owner of the place who happens to also be his trainer Work Schedule: Everyday, most nights Income: Varies

Interpersonal Connections

Immediate Family: Mother- Callista, Younger sister- Calliope (7), father- Mattis (deceased) Close Relatives: Auntie Kira ( mother’s side), Uncle Sean ( father’s side), Grandfather Maxwell and Grandmother Ellen (mother’s parents), Cousin Limerick & Cousin Chantel ( Kira’s children ) Allies: Trainer- Kamerick, Best Friends- Gareth, Martin Enemies: Kendal (Khaos), Justin (Hooligan), Paul (Knockout) Followers: Limerick ( his cousin wants to follow his path as a fighter) Friends: Gareth and Martin Heroes: Father and Mother Pets: A Boxer named Cerberus Rivals: Jake (Doomsday)

Physical Characteristics

Height: 6′2″ Weight: Nationality: American Ethnicity:  Hair Color: Black Hair Length: Short-cropped Eye Color: Brown Scars: Knuckles have some minor scarring Tattoos and Piercings: Nose pierced, Angel wings tattooed on the back of his right calf

Health and Fitness

Habits: Running, Weights, Boxing

Sexual Characteristics

Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual

Personality

Anima: Focused Persona: Goofy, Dumb

Biography

As a child, Damon was always out-going and going out. He was the kid that was out the door first thing in the morning to meet up with neighborhood kids and run wild. In school, he was extroverted to a fault. Damon struggled to sit still in class and therefore, he struggled to read or write, and to avoid doing any of that, he fell easily into the role of Class Clown. He liked making people laugh and he liked getting out of doing academic work. He would rather fail because he was distracted and didn’t do the assignment than because he was stupid.

His parents tried their best to get him to better in school, but with both of them working fulltime, Damon’s usual babysitter was the streets of Boston and whoever he found to hang out with that day or night.

This led to trouble as a young teen. The streets weren’t the safest of places, especially his neighborhood, and he was finding himself telling the gangbangers that walked the street to fuck off more and more often. Everyone knew that Damon’s dad was a cop, they knew that Damon would say no, but they were looking to shake him and for the day that he would say yes to come.

That day didn’t happen though, and unfortunately, at the age of 16, Damon lost his father. While responding to a B&E at a general store only 3 blocks from his house, Mattis Ellis was shot and killed in the line of duty. He was survived by his wife and two children. Damon’s baby sister was only 1 at the time.

After his father’s passing, Damon became more volatile. He lashed out at school and in the streets, but never at home. His father’s best friend, Kamerick, saw the young man struggling and brought him under his wing. Damon had already boxed throughout middle and high school at the prompting of his father, so now Kamerick just gave him a more focused goal. He taught him not just how to train, but how to fight. Finding a renewed love for the fight mixed with the young man’s knowledge of the streets, and it didn’t take long before Damon found where he could make good money all on his own.

Now, at 22 years old, Damon is renowned as one of the best underground fighters on the East Coast, but he wants more. He is known as Icarus in the ring, a title that always made him laugh because he wasn’t going to let his high-reaching goals be his downfall, he was damn sure of that. He was only going to be lifted up. Damon is also known for his goofy personality and funny antics. He smiles after getting punched in the mouth, taunts and teases his opponents as he hops around the ring, and it seems that no matter how hard he is fighting- it’s just to win, not because he’s angry or feels like he has something to prove.

The man is an enigma to most, especially those in the fighting community, but that’s fine by him. He just wants more out of his life. He doesn’t care if people understand him along the way.

[metaregress]

I watched The Expendables recently. I was pretty disappointed by the low quality of the action in the movie given all the folks involved. I was kind of hoping for a John Wick treatment of over-the-top action blockbusters, with tight craft execution and strong genre familiarity to work off, but instead it’s just the distillation of all the mediocre stuff the actors had been in. Nothing really interesting in its presentation, its plot, or its characters. Obvious beats, vague gestures at character arcs, no interesting world-building to speak of.

They do kind of hint at something about not doing it for the money, or having principles as mercenaries, and the villain trots out the classic “not so different you and I” schtick. It feels like it would have been so easy to set this up as a real conflict though. Barney and Lee do the scout, but this time they find out that while the job isn’t worth it, the general’s war chest is. He’s rich and they can get their hands on it, but it might bring down the CIA or the debt collectors or something. Or just destabilize the country, since they’d basically be robbing its bank. Now the team has a reason to care, but Barney finds that he cares more about doing it for Sandra than the money, and even gets nervous about what could happen if his jolly gang descend on the underprepared island. He tries to talk the group out of it, saying it’s too dangerous - but Lee tells them about the cache and they all want in. They’d always tried to keep things civil in their operations, but they’d also always looked out for themselves first, and stayed away from any job that required them to nice up with civilians.Maybe in that opening sequence we see a couple hostages die - this is what happens when they get involved, people die. The good and the bad. But now Barney’s having second thoughts; he doesn’t want to see this island get lit up and its financial stability torn apart. So their operation gets more complicated as they try to minimize civilian impact, and some of the guys start to grumble. It’s not like they were gonna go out of their way to kill civilians, but if a few are in the wrong place…it can’t be helped, right? This is also making me think of a D&D party now. Barney has changed alignment to Neutral Good and his Neutral Evil party is all giving him the side eye now. And so in the end they sacrifice the riches to stop the bad guy from escaping or something, but of course some of the boys have squirreled away a tidy paycheck before all of it went up. Just for safekeeping, like. And Barney guilts them into giving the people a cut. And he has to figure out how to re-stabilize the island without the dictatorship while also not wanting to hand it over to the CIA again. So he needs to take another job. Bam, easy sequel hook

Another thing that was kind of disappointing was the whole notion of them as ‘expendable’ per the title. I assumed that this was going to be a Suicide Squad type situation, where they go to the most dangerous places and take the most batshit jobs because none of them have anything to live for so fuck it. Then their over-the-top bullshit becomes a sort of Viking quest for a glorious death; pushing themselves farther and farther in the hope that one day their luck will run out in spectacular fashion. Their hideout could have a wall of fame, all the guys who went out in the best blaze of glory. And then the island becomes a way that they find a will to live. Maybe each of them finds something different; Barney finds people he cares about, maybe someone else wants to help build up infrastructure or who knows what. But they get a stake in it, and for the first time they’re fighting to live, and that others may live. Their death-drive has been transformed and their fearsome energy has been turned towards protection instead of destruction. Of course there would still be plenty of destruction involved, it’s an action movie cmon.

Also I was a total sucker for the limerick, I wish more of the movie had been willing to be that goofy and corny.

[cydrhos]

Nantucket

I’ve recently been making my way through Tom Scott’s youtube canon documenting his approach to completing all achievements, side-quests and map exploration in the game of life... where was I? Oh yes... and found a piece on why Shakespeare could never have been French.

It contains the first line of a limerick, to which I will shortly return.

Wikipedia has this in its article on limericks: ‘... the true limerick as a folk form is always obscene... describing the clean limerick as... rarely rising above mediocrity".’

Scott’s YT thumbnail shows the words ‘There once was a man from Nantucket’, which line has its own Wikipedia entry. I implore you to read the article (it’s a short one) as it illustrates perfectly the criticism above.

Put down your coffee before you start reading because it’s also a good illustration of a punchline.

[thelocalnewsma]

Limerick Day's papers, Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Limerick Day's papers, Wednesday, May 12, 2021 #IpswichMA

A special type of humorous poem, ideally off-color. In fact, George Bernard Shaw said a clean limerick is a “periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity.” Ipswich Local News Boston Herald Gloucester Daily Times The Daily News of Newburyport The Boston Globe The Salem News Lawrence-Eagle Tribune

[podcastpalace]

Ep 1215: Mediocre 8's, Kerry Flounder, Dull Dublin, Limerick Leverage, Ken Train - 16/07/2018 by The Second Captains Podcast .... The opening weekend of the All-Ireland Quarter-Final Group Stages, otherwise known as the Super 8s, was supposed to be, well... super. But that's not quite how it panned out. Can we blame Murph? It was overshadowed entirely by a six-goal World Cup final, and by Limerick's thrilling 2 point win over Kilkenny in the All-Ireland hurling quarter-final. Michael Duignan pays tribute to Limerick's new-look team, and to Kilkenny, who lost nothing in defeat but are now reduced to being a significant staging post in other teams' development. Oisin McConville and Mike Quirke join us to talk about wins for Tyrone, Dublin, Monaghan and Galway, and why we should probably withhold judgement until at least week 2 of this grand experiment. Plus there's Ken's latest travel woes, Dublin's two-finger salute, Oisin's travel-guide to the full Ulster GAA experience, and why we need more Lothar Matthaus in our lives.