#melissas favorite moment is mine too

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[adelarsims]

OC QUESTIONNAIRE: IVO

thank you @simarcana for the tag :)

if any of you wanted to know ivo a little better, here's your chance.

hello, my dear. i believe we never met... i'm the spellweaver here at the Academia, and a substitute librarian for the time being, until they find someone else for the job. so... in which capacity i may be of help?

NAME: that would depend on who you see in front of you right now, me or the... oh. then just ivo is more than enough, there is no need to stand on ceremony ~

NICKNAME: with such a short name as mine, no one really called me anything else. if you don’t count common words of endearment, but i don't think that counts.

GENDER: ...hmm. that made me think. i’m used to think of myself as a man, but when i imagine being offered a different opinion, it doesn’t feel alien or make me uncomfortable either... there's always something yet to be discovered about ourselves, isn't it.

STAR SIGN: Pisces, but you might not find it very fitting anymore, now that i... oh, apologies, i got a little distracted for a moment.

HEIGHT: i never bothered measuring my own height exactly. probably a little over 180 barefoot, a little under 190 on heels... why would that be important? i assure you, 171-cm-on-heels worth of the Grand Sage in a bad mood can be much scarier. ah, you want me to get you this book from the upper shelf? in that case, my dear, how about i teach you a little beckoning spell if you have the time? it will come in handy when i’m not around to help. ~

ORIENTATION: there was a time when i preferred one gender over all others. now i prefer not to prefer either. that is just for the best for everyone. i’m truly sorry if you asked out of... personal interest, my dear.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: i’m afraid even i don't have the answer. i was here for as long as i can recall, but my childhood memories are rather... hazy. it was definitely warmer than here though, that much i remember.

FAVORITE FRUIT: peach, the juicier the better. even imagining it in my hand, its fuzzy skin is warm from the sun, juice streaming down my fingers and palm and staining my sleeve... ah, it almost makes me feel the taste in my mouth.

FAVORITE SEASON: summer. cold and damp weather can be very hard to endure, it takes a huge toll on my mind and body alike.

FAVORITE FLOWER: a whole field of forget-me-nots. and the apple tree blossoming in the warmest month of spring. it’s not something you could pluck for your amusement and put in a vase... you can only appreciate it and step away, carrying this moment of peace in your heart.

FAVORITE SCENT: oh, you know these thick, spicy scents that are an essential part of every tiny store that sells all kinds of fake occult knick-knacks impressionable young humans are so obsessed with? yeah, this scent. it’s just... so nostalgic for some reason.

COFFEE, TEA, or HOT CHOCOLATE: i much prefer pomegranate wine, my dear, but alas, now that i’m not allowed to drink alcohol anymore... it would be linden and melissa herbal tea. aside from its mild taste and soothing qualities, another great thing about it is that it never becomes tart even if you forget about it for a long time... however, i would also never say no to a cup of hot chocolate in a pleasant company ~

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: more than nine, preferably. sadly, i’m rarely given that luxury. everyone always needs something here, and you can't really say no when it's the Grand Sage who's asking, now can you?

DOGS or CATS: neither, my... guest doesn’t like animals. or, rather, they do not like to be in my presence anymore. why are you looking at me like that? i thought professor Ember warned you about... i see. apologies for confusing you then. at any rate, if i have to choose, then cats. a cat sleeps for twenty hours a day and wouldn't give me any trouble, while having a dog demands too much physical activity for my taste.

DREAM TRIP: anywhere warm, my dear. (...where i really want to go is to go back in time and make a different decision, one i won’t be regretting for the rest of my days, but...) oh, i look sad? these cold stones just aren’t good for my morale. winter this year was awfully long.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: indefinite. nothing better for the night than making a warm cozy nest out of thick fluffy blankets. the flip side is that the warmer and cozier your blanket nest is, the more heartbreaking it is to leave it in the morning.

RANDOM FACT: there’s a belief among academia students that if you jump across the hall all the way to the statue of the First Sage on just one leg the day before the exam, and throw the note with your request, and the note stays in the statue’s hands, you will get an A+ without trying. no, no, not lazy, most of them prepare for exams anyway... it’s more of a tradition now. sometimes they write completely unrelated things. poems, love confessions to each other... someone even begged the statue to make professor Ember have a crush on them, poor soul. how do i know all that? whose responsibility it is to retrieve all these notes from the statue, you think?

--

tagging @kisica-plays, @pralinesims for OC you didn't answer this for, @agena87, @adoringsentiment, @kri-babe, @puppycheesecake and anyone who sees this and suddenly wants to hop on that train

[shima-draws]

Favorite ship that you originally didn't care for (or perhaps hated)?

I wouldn’t say it’s a FAVE but I definitely was not a fan of Milo/Amanda (from MML) at first. Mostly because of the way Amanda treated him like a ticking time bomb all the time 😭 And basically excluded him from stuff bc she didn’t want Murphy’s Law to ruin her plans. Which like. I GET that. And a lot of it is bc she’s very meticulous with her planning. But there’s a very clear example of people who are chill with Murphy’s Law, even in situations where they’d rather avoid it (points at Melissa and Zack repeatedly).

BUT. I really love the slow transition from Amanda seeing Milo and running for the hills to her starting to accept that while Murphy’s Law is absolute chaos sometimes things work out for the better. Especially since Milo’s always so adaptable. And seeing Amanda actually NOTICE that about him and start to really respect him for that. Which eventually leads to her really admiring him and loving how spontaneous he is, which is the complete opposite of how she is. And eventually that develops into a full blown crush and it’s SO cute (and Milo clearly has a thing for her too!) I think the moment that really hammered it in for me was when Milo and Joni were getting a little too friendly and the instant Milo turned his back Amanda came charging over shouting HE’S MINE like that absolutely cracked me up lmao

Anyway long story short I didn’t like the ship bc Milo is baby and deserves the world but eventually Amanda realized that and now she’s on the Murphy train with everyone else

I CARE THEM

[stingslikeabee]

It was known as Queen's Day ( or so Daigo affectionately called it ). Every year, on the day of Melissa's birth, Koutetsujima celebrated their King's wife ; the affair doubled as a sort of winter festival, while the weather was still serviceable to be out in. Daigo had declared the holiday official his first year as the new ruler of the islands, and it was secretly his favorite. All of Koutetsujima's citizens dressed traditionally, with Melissa's ladies helping her into her formal robes and pinning up her hair. The court reaffirmed the royal couple's marriage as well as their loyalty to the Queen and pricked their thumbs to stamp in blood on the scrolls stating so. Once the formalities of the day were through, Daigo took Melissa ( and their young children, each corralled and in the appropriate attire ) to the castle grounds. They were alive — with lanterns, fire pits, little games for anyone's amusement, classic Koutetsujima music, and warm foods. All of the royal family's friends and allies from the islands were in attendance, milling about and laughing.

Normally, Daigo and Melissa would stand in the entrance. This year, though, the former renegade prince had other plans. As they entered to applause and a swell of song, the King motioned for Mine, who was standing near, to take the children for a few moments. He was a sour - faced but secretly doting babysitter. Grinning, Daigo wrapped his arm around Melissa's waist and pulled her toward a knot of people.

"I have a surprise for you," he whispered, ducking his head down toward her. His dark eyes gleamed with his sense of purpose. "Where is . . . — ah."

Suddenly, the King stopped. His gift to his wife became clear the moment she turned around. Azumi Akiyama, Melissa's closest friend — and a face entirely unfamiliar to Koutetsujima. Even when her husband visited for diplomatic events, the Lady Akiyama preferred not to. She was always too scared to leave the Solarian palace in hands besides her own, and the rocking of boats made her horribly sick.

"Monaka," Azumi breathed. The blonde moved a little stiffly in the robes she wore, unused to the fabrics. She entwined her fingers with Melissa's, smiling. Two steps behind her was the Lord Akiyama himself, as well as their children.

"Your husband finally persuaded me to give the trip a try," Azumi said softly. "It was awful, as I expected, but he was right about one thing. Seeing your face right now is worth every hour." The noblewoman giggled and squeezed Melissa's hands. "Happy birthday, Melissa, from all of us. Daigo, Shun, myself — we are all so fond of you."

Daigo nodded. "She is right, as I have learned she usually is," he added, chuckling. "It is not the way of my home to speak with such openness, but the sentiment is true." The King's expression grew a touch more tender as his gaze returned to Melissa. "This land and yours are blessed to have you, my Queen."

( as am I. )

unscripted asks - birthday edition! . always accepting

In plans made many, many moons ago, Melissa had agreed to lend the renegade prince her own strength and army to overthrow the infamously cruel ruler of the neighboring kingdom and who threatened Solaris with war, should it spread; in exchange, Daigo had offered what he had of most importance: himself, as the heir. Originally, they had briefly discussed the possibility of unifying the lands and perhaps settle all conflict for good.

Now, Melissa was able to see the error of their ways - at least, of her own. Koutetsujima had its own traditions, beliefs and valorous people who were not inferior to any of their neighboring nations. Much of what she had known then had been steeped in prejudice and bias, in no small amount thanks to the way Sohei had ruled over his subjects with little to no compassion.

But during her marriage with Daigo, they had divided their time between both kingdoms - as the reigning queen of one country but a consort of another, Melissa had come to make the journey by sea more frequently than she had ever dared to dream as a child, and started to consider the hallways made of stone as a second home. It was different from Solaris - as it would always be - but it was growing on her; the food, the colorful ink, the intricate layers of clothing, the warmth of the people liberated to live according to their own traditions... It was all just lovely to see.

For some reason, to know the locals genuinely appreciated her as a person felt special; Melissa had never wished to be seen as an oppressing power from abroad, but she had come to terms with whatever reputation was required of her. It was fortunate that now the queen was welcomed into their arms, even if she kept some things secret - the tattoo was for family only, and the traditional robes only worn at the islands.

To be out and surrounded by the islanders was met with an easy smile and a trademark greeting from the queen - one Melissa had mastered and which followed the native custom. The woman was careful to walk just side by side with Daigo and never ahead, movements slower and more graceful than those of a warrior - the fact she was always extra careful around the heavily decorated kimonos helped, of course.

But when Daigo steered them to a different place, Melissa frowned - but only until the golden locks of her best friend gave away the identity of the mysterious guests, the queen losing composure for a second to immediately hold the hands of the one person who had been more of a sister to her than her own blood. As fate would have it, Azumi and Melissa had been afforded a luxury that their children now enjoyed, but which was not extended to the younger twins also descended from Eleanor, even if the current monarch cared for them deeply.

"You are... Here. By the Goddess, Azumi. I had never once considered..." the woman trailed off, a radiant grin on her face also gracing Daigo when the king spoke of his own part in the arrangement. In response to his evident tenderness, a lot of affection was in Melissa's own honeyed eyes, and she mouthed a love declaration for him in his own native tongue before turning around to Azumi once more, admiring her looks in the local style - as well as the of the one of her husband and children.

"I know this was no small endeavor for you all, as well for precious Beau. But it really means the world to me that you have all endured the journey. And, for what is worth - you all look beautiful dressed like this; I have no doubt that Niran agrees with me," the queen smiled softly at Azumi's oldest child - not by birth, but ferociously protected by her and Shun, and who looked delighted to be there. A refugee who could feel at peace to return to his homeland was a treasured birthday offering, too.

Sighing deeply, the woman turned to Daigo, releasing one of the hands from her friend to take his in return - perhaps a touch too forward for the locals, but they had grown used to some concessions. There was a day for the queen, after all, when none had been afforded such honor before.

"And you, my lord husband, is surely the greatest gift I could ever ask for - either of my Goddess or your venerable deities."

[mcutiepie127]

Little Mermaid Remake Thoughts

Hey there Mermaid fans,

So I saw the remake of the Little Mermaid opening weekend! As a black woman and a 90s kid I was ready to show up and support this film! I’m glad I did!!! Overall I think this movie keeps its head above water!! It’s certainly above C level (sea level) lol. But that being said some things just didn’t work for me.

This is a review/rant so SPOILERS AHEAD

Highs:

1: Halle!!! Halle did an awesome job as Ariel (we knew she would slay) her representation matters. I grew up with the little mermaid she was always one of my favorite Disney princesses and I totally related to her spirit of adventure and fun as a kid. Now a new generation of black girls may relate to how she looks. I can’t wait to see the sisters that will be rocking mermaid locs in the future🧜🏾‍♀️!

2. Melissa McCarthy: loved he as Ursula!!! She was so funny and good in this role!! Ursula has always been 1 of my favorite Disney villains!! She’s wickedly fun!! She’s a diva and I always wanted to play her. It was something new for Melissa but she handled it well.

3. Overall diversity: from the daughters of Triton to the islanders it was good to see a wide range of people from various backgrounds. This gave me more nostalgic 90s feels and reminded me of another 90s kid favorite of mine…Gullah Gullah island.

Ok so overall the movie was good, but the things that didn’t work for me really did work for me!

Lows:

1. Look of the animals: the animals were just too realistic looking. It’s a movie with talking animals (not realistic) so don’t force realism on their features, it’s so much more fun when the animated characters can emote in animated ways!!

2. New songs: I Love Lin Manuel Miranda!!! Love you, Lin, but those new songs just didn’t really add anything to the story. Scuttlebutt though a true showcase of Lin’s lyrical style was not timed right. I think it would have been a better introduction song to the character of Scuttle, but being placed right before the climax was awkward timing at best.

3. ERIC: this is my biggest gripe with the remake. They really messed with Eric’s character. My bff’s favorite Disney movie is The Little Mermaid as such her favorite Disney prince is Eric. Let’s face it Prince Eric was the original hot prince, now that being said. I always had some good-natured ribbing on my part toward her as I used to tease her as to how could Eric be her favorite Prince he is sleep most of the movie??? Lolol

I guess Disney felt this was a flaw in Eric’s character as well and they wanted to flesh out Eric’s character more, but fleshing out for them became changing/watering down the character. Eric’s character (when conscious) was young, fun, energetic, rugged, brave, strong and gentle. This new Eric is missing some of these defining traits instead he comes across as a controlled, lonely, mama’s boy who really doesn’t have any real strengths showcased.

This, I think is done for modern audiences it’s a very PC move for 2023. Don’t have a male character have many strengths less a female character look weak, but a strong woman is a strong woman no matter what a man is doing!!! In the original version of the movie Eric is an expert sailor, a young prince whose parents a presumably dead. He is still taken care of by his servants and perhaps can’t take the title King without being married. His manservant wants him to get married, but Eric wants to be married for Love. This could have been fleshed out in the remake. Why is Eric so interested in getting married for Love?? maybe Eric has fond memories of his parents romance or maybe the opposite. What was lacking in the last relationship that Eric didn’t feel it was a true love match?

Another key moment about Eric’s character is that he rescues those he cares about. He pulls his struggling manservant from the water when the ship is on fire and he goes back for his dog, Max. He’s so concerned about Max he’s willing to risk his own life. This is one of the qualities Ariel sees and finds attractive about Eric, but we’ll come back to that.

In the new version, Eric is given a mother. It’s unnecessary, why does Eric need a mother? His servants functioned as low key parental figures in the original and that was suffice. The truth is many people grow up without parents and or don’t have much contact with parents as adults. Why is that a problem for children to see? Eric is given a mother who possesses the same traits as Triton overprotective and somewhat overbearing. Eric is given a mother figure to slap his wrists and make him a more passive and less independent person. Showing that he and Ariel have more in common. Why is it necessary, that both Eric and Ariel have over protective parents?? But why do they need to have that in common?? Many people fall in love with people who grow up in different ways then they did. To me on screen a relationship is more dynamic when characters share differences, but overcome them and learn to take on different perspectives. Eric and Ariel essentially become the same character with no defining differences. This isn’t a more fleshed out Eric with his own backstory, motivations and character traits this is just an Eric who is just like Ariel.

Lastly, Ariel’s big moment to rescue Eric at the end really diminished Eric’s character. Eric’s character has no opportunity to shine as an expert sailor. One could argue that in this version he is not an expert sailor, but he also is not allowed to shine as a person who is heroic and brave which were essential elements to his original character. Again going back to the original, rescuing those he loves is how Eric shows love and care (remember him rescuing Max and the man servant) by having Ariel deal the death blow we lose that from Eric. Eric has already been rescued by Eric when he’s drowning, Eric is essentially rescued when Vanessa’s spell is broken. This final act is the moment when Eric shows his love for Ariel and we lose it. It is also the moment when Triton sees a human as capable of loving a mermaid and protecting the ocean. It helps to allow Triton to let go of his prejudices. Overall Eric needs a moment in the movie to show his character strengths and he doesn’t get that moment. Leaving me to wonder if Eric has any strengths. What is Eric really good at as a person in this movie?? Ariel can still be a boss and Eric can still have a moment of showcased strength.

If Ariel had to deal the death blow in the end perhaps it would have been because Eric taught her how to steer a ship, but the whole idea of Ariel knowing how to steer a ship is a little far fetched. Again in most relationships each partner will have their own areas of strength that one partner may need to rely on. one partner may be good at handling finances another may be good at planning events, one may love to cook one may love to do yard work. One partner may always be on time another partner may always be willing to lend a hand to those in need, but the point is everyone has something they bring to the table and should be allowed to shine in that area. Eric as an iconic Disney prince was not given the opportunity to showcase any areas of strength that were different from Ariel’s. That to me weakens the love story and character. At one point it just became pretty laughable to me that Ariel even helps Eric row the boat. He couldn’t even get that moment to himself. Lololol. Poor Eric in this movie he needs help to do everything.

But anyways the movie is good even if Eric has been essentially diminished down to a nonentity.

But I’d love to know your thoughts too!

[theageofsims]

The Age of Sims 2.5 - Part 17 - "The Heated Argument"

Gradation had come around and Melissa had still been very much pregnant. Boarding a plane was probably not the best thing for her to do, but she reminded herself that the most important thing in life was to show up.

That was something she had repeatedly told Treyvon as she raised him.

"What are you doing?"

"Congratulating my favorite girl on getting through another semester with flying colors!" He said charmingly, inwardly wondering why she had let him kiss her on the cheek upon arrival. "Sorry I'm late."

"I didn't ask you to come." She looked away from him for a moment. "You didn't come the last time." She harshly sighed. "If you think about that in another context -- you aren't coming a whole lot lately."

The wheels in his head came to a screeching halt at her comment. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"You're a detective. I'm sure you can figure it out."

"I've already figured it out." He barked. "You keeping score?"

"Don't you?"

"It's gender-based. I'm designed to keep score -- all men are."

"And there you go again." She muttered, not feeling at all cheerful like she should have felt on her graduation day.

"There I go again about what? Look -- there's two types of men in the world. Guys like me -- and guys who like to dress up."

"Nobody is trying to stick your egotistical ass in a pair of tights, Ken -- so go cool yourself off."

"Name-calling? Really Mel?" He blinked at her in disbelief. "What's it to you if I'm not getting off each time? I'm sending you to the moon and back and that's all that matters."

"It matters to me." She spoke honestly. "I'm the one that's physically changed. I'm the one that can't seem to stop gaining weight--"

"Jesus Mel -- you're carrying twins. Cut yourself some slack."

"And then I come home and you're with the maid."

"Had I wanted to sleep with the maid I'd have done it from day one -- from the first day that I heard her voice through the phone or so you would think since that's all you think it takes." He roughly sighed. "Me not setting off any fireworks every time has nothing to do with you -- I've been working harder than usual. I told you the move from Brindleton Bay to Oasis Springs was going to be rough for at least two years."

"I miss it there. I miss my friends… I miss my family… and now I miss Treyvon." Her voice cracked.

"Listen Mel -- I can't go back. Not right now."

"That's you."

"That's me? What are you planning on doing -- packing up and leaving me? You're about to give birth to two kids that are half mine!" He gritted his teeth, angry about the entire situation and angry at himself for becoming as angry as he was. "Over some bullshit?!" He roared then. "You're taking this shit WAY TOO FAR, MELISSA!"

"DO NOT SHOUT AT ME LIKE I'M SOME CRIMINAL, KEN!" She hollered back, thankful that there wasn't anyone within earshot.

"I've never shouted at you!"

"Well -- until now." She corrected him, inwardly cringing from his reaction.

"What the hell are you saying, Mel?" He said as easily as he could. "You're leaving me? You want a divorce? What is it?"

"I want to go home."

"I haven't kicked your out!"

"To my hometown."

"Your home is in Oasis Springs now." He insisted. "We made an agreement."

"We made a lot of agreements. Some of them have fallen through." She began walking away from him which only riled him up further.

"Melissa!" He roughly shouted, beginning to follow her. He only stopped walking when she had. "DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME!"

Turning around, she rushed over to him quicker than she had been able to do in a long time.

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

[richincolor]

Group Discussion: Eternally Yours

With Halloween just around the corner, we thought it would be a perfect time to dive into the paranormal romances of Eternally Yours edited by Patrice Caldwell. We fell into the stories and found much to love. I think we avoided any major spoilers so feel free to take a peek into our group discussion even if you haven’t had a chance to read yet. If you know the stories though, we’d enjoy hearing your thoughts.

Publisher summary: Vampires and merpeople, angels and demons—the paranormal is full of unusual beings. The stories in this anthology imagine worlds where the only thing more powerful than the supernatural, is love.

Contributors include: Kalynn Bayron (Cinderella Is Dead); Kendare Blake (Three Dark Crowns); Kat Cho (Wicked Fox); Melissa de la Cruz (Blue Bloods); Sarah Gailey (When We Were Magic); Hafsah Faizal(We Hunt the Flame); Chloe Gong (These Violent Delights); Alexis Henderson (The Year of the Witching); Adib Khorram (Darius the Great Is Not Okay); Anna-Marie McLemore (When the Moon Was Ours, The Mirror Season); Casey McQuiston (Red, White, and Royal Blue; One Last Stop); Sandhya Menon (When Dimple Met Rishi); Akshaya Raman (The Ivory Key); Marie Rutkoski (The Winner’s Curse); Julian Winters (Running With Lions; Right Where I Left You)

What are your impressions of the cover? 

Audrey: I loved it! It’s beautifully macabre, and I especially enjoyed the detail of the blood dripping off of one of the roses. I knew exactly what kind of anthology I was going to get when I saw the cover.

Jessica: Oh, I’m such a fan. It really grabs you the moment you see it. I’m listening to Taylor Swift’s new album and Anti-Hero is playing right now – and it pairs really well with the cover! 

Crystal: I really love the vivid colors and it’s such a great pairing with the romantic and the slightly creepy. It’s warm and chilling at the same time.

K. Imani: I absolutely love the cover. It’s completely romantic and gothic with such beautiful colors. It really sets the vibe of the anthology. 

Which story or stories really grabbed you and lingered in your mind after reading? 

Audrey: Such a difficult decision! There were so many good stories in this anthology. If forced to narrow down my favorites, I’d pick “Piano Sonata No. 13” by Kalynn Bayron, “Banes and Blessings” by Hafsah Faizal, and “Bride-Heart” by Marie Rutkoski. (I do enjoy a story with a solid body count! And each of these had some lovely but horrifying details/descriptions that stuck with me.)

Jessica: Same, Audrey. It’s so hard to choose; they were all so paranormally delightful! I’ll echo Audrey on saying that “Banes and Blessings” was a favorite of mine, too. I also really loved La Bruja y la Sirena by Anna-Marie McLemore – such gorgeous writing. And of course, I have to include a shoutout to A Thousand More by Chloe Gong which was just so much fun. It’s the kind of story I want to see adapted as a C-Drama. 

Crystal: I totally agree, it is difficult to choose. I too have “Banes and Blessings” in my top picks though and the piano story was quite memorable. Being a children’s librarian, the title “If You Give an Asura a Cookie” stood out to me and the story wasn’t as creepy as others, but it was a sweet one and I enjoyed that.

K. Imani: I knew this question was going to be asked so I kept a small tally as I read, lol. I really did enjoy all the stories but like Audrey, “Piano Sonata No. 13” was perfect as it was a romantic villain origin story and I was there for it. “Kiss the Boy” by Adib Khorram had me smiling the whole time, and “My Demon Prince Charming,” by Sandhya Menon was so wonderfully romantic. And Jessica, I agree that “A Thousand More” by Chloe Gong needs to be a C-Drama. I would love to see all the different lives of Tally and Nate. 

Stories like these really make me think about questions involving monsters. What are monsters and or how can we determine if someone is truly a monster? Were any questions like this bouncing around in your mind while reading?

Audrey: As you can tell from my favorites list, one of the ideas I found myself circling was violence and how it can be used to blur the lines between “monsters” and “good people.” Sometimes the violence feels entirely justified, sometimes it feels good in the abstract, and sometimes it’s the byproduct of some other outcome you want. 

Crystal: The question of monsters is an interesting one to me. So many times we are judging whether someone or something is a monster on looks or even actions, but we don’t always know the motivations. I think the determination can be better made when you know the “why”, but that’s the trickiest part to discover or understand. We default to appearances because that’s the simple path.

Jessica: Monsters often embody the “Other,” which is why I think so many people connect with monster stories that are nuanced or sympathetic to them and depict monsters with a dimension of humanity. (And as seen in Scooby-Doo, the real ‘monster’ in stories can be the human, whose monstrous behavior outstrips a real ‘monster.’ Sorry, yes, I had to bring up Scooby Doo.) Monsters often reflect cultural fears, desires, and violations of conventional (white, straight) norms. And that’s something that many people from marginalized backgrounds can connect with. The letter to the reader from anthology editor Patrice Caldwell speaks to the appeal of monsters so well and also points to an IRL issue – that of publishing declaring paranormal romance “dead,” ignoring the BIPOC and queer paranormal romance authors who were already writing in the space or who aspire to write in that space. 

K. Imani: One of the aspects I liked about some of these stories is of demons and other monsters falling in love too. Monsters are often depicted as soulless evil drones, but in reality “monsters” are just people with bad intentions. They live and love like the rest of us, so it was nice to see our so-called “evil’ monsters “humanized” in a way. And like Crystal said we often don’t know the motivation of others so often when we think of monsters doing evil things, they are often just trying to survive. Stories of “monsters” falling in love helps us see them in a different light. It was one of the reasons why I love “If You Give an Asura a Cookie” because the story really showed how “monsters” are just trying to survive in a human populated world, and deserve happiness too. 

Did you meet any new authors that made you want to find more of their writing?

Audrey: Kalynn Bayron was a new-to-me author, and I’ll definitely be on the lookout for more of her work. 

Crystal: Akshaya Raman made me want to follow up and find more of her work. Fortunately, there is a book in existence already, The Ivory Key, so I have something to look forward to sometime soon. 

Jessica: I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve had Alexis Henderson’s much-lauded The Year of the Witching on my TBR pile for a long time, but haven’t gotten around to reading it. Reading “In the Eyes of Angels” was the push I needed to pick up The Year of the Witching finally – and I’m so glad I did! 

K. Imani: Like Crystal, Akshaya Raman stood out to me too. Now that I know she wrote “The Ivory Key”, a book that has been on my list, I can’t wait to dig into her novel. 

Since we’re on the topic of paranormal love, have you read any novels with that topic that you would recommend? 

Audrey: The first thing that jumped to mind for me was CEMETERY BOYS by Aiden Thomas, which features a brujo falling for the ghost he accidentally summoned. I’ve also loved every one of Anna-Marie McLemore’s books that I’ve read, so check those out if you’d like some magical realism with your romance.  

Crystal: I too loved Cemetery Boys and Anna-Marie McLemore’s books. I would also add Cynthia Leitich-Smith’s Feral Nights or her Tantalize series. 

Jessica: Echoing Audrey and Crystal – Cemetery Boys and anything by Anna-Marie McLemore is a must-read. I would also include the YA graphic novel Mooncakes by by Suzanne Walker and Wendy Xu, which is queer and lighthearted and fabulous. 

K. Imani: Oh, where to begin as paranormal romance is one of my favorite genres! Renee Ahdieh’s quartet “The Beautiful” is on its third book and is a wonderful gothic-ish series set in New Orleans in the 1870’s. If you want more Merfolk, Natasha Bowen’s “Skin of the Sea” duology is a treat. The sequel “Soul of the Deep” just came out a few weeks ago. 

This was a fun read and discussion and we’d recommend it for anyone with an interest in paranormal love stories and those with an interest in the monstrous. Thanks for joining us!

[avatarquake]

Ok, but like, Skulduggery has been around Gordon for a long -mortal- while, and had a front row seat to the ‘Edgley Family Drama’ (from Gordon losing Melissa to Desmond to Gordon’s strained relationship and dislike of Fergus, Beryl and the Twins, to the publishing of his books and everything else in between and after -he’s heard and seen all of it). And then Stephanie is born and Gordon talks the ears he doesn’t have off by waxing poetic about his favorite niece already, even though she’s barely a day old, because she smiled at him when he went to see her and Melissa with Desmond.

And Skulduggery sort of...imprints(?) on her. He doesn’t know it just yet. He doesn’t know her yet, either. He saw her once, when Gordon was babysitting, found her adorable -like all babies are, even though Gordon argued the Twins were not- and didn’t expect to ever see little Stephanie again, or for many, many years -because Gordon’s his friend and he helps him with cases from time to time and her uncle, their paths would cross accidentally eventually, it was bound to happen- but never like that, twelve years later, at Gordon’s funeral, while he skulks and watches from afar, when he notices the pre-teen turn and look at him. And then later that day, he confirms his suspicions, when he talks to her for the first time -making cooing noises at a baby doesn’t count as talking, at least not conventional since half of the party concerned has no memory of the fact after, like, a month.

Then came the will and then came the late night attack and Stephanie, true to her nature (”Strong willed, intelligent, sharp-tongued, doesn’t suffer fools gladly, truly a niece of mine.” Gordon had described her, proudly, a few years ago) blackmails her way into taking part in his investigation, into becoming his partner, because she wouldn’t accept ‘no’ and ‘stay here where it’s safe’, not anymore -the world has become a little bit bigger, a little bit more mysterious and there is a thrill in that knowledge, despite the dangers that also become a lot more cruel and a lot more deadlier- and she knows, she knows, he would leave her at Gordon’s(her house) or at least spend a lot time arguing with her about it -he isn’t sure he was going to win that argument- and he has to comment her tenacity and cunning and audacity, because here he is a skeleton, with magic at his disposal and she is blackmailing her way in his life, by holding his hat hostage.

And he just...lets her tag along. And he forgets she is just twelve the moment they start bantering, because she is keeping up with him and because she accepts his theory about Serpine, and reaches to the same conclusion as he did over Gordon’s death -she believes him and she’s known him for a total of two days, when he had to spend 70-80 years with the knowledge the man who destroyed his whole world going unpunished and no one to really take his side, until it was almost too late. And by the end of it, with Serpine dust particles in the wind and a really awful and painful memory, with Stephanie Valkyrie still alive at his side, having gone through too much to help him, he concedes and names her his partner officially. (Even if their first official detective case would have to wait until after her leg heals.) (And as he sees her create her own flames, somewhere in his soul, subconscious, whatever it is that keeps giving him a sense of self, he knows, that sooner or later, they would have met.) (Somewhere even deeper he wonders, if things had been different, if he would have left it to chance, or if he would have actively sought out to meet her.)

[fromiftowhen]

The Rookie: 3x09 Amber Thoughts/Spoilers

I have… a LOT of thoughts about this episode. Unsurprisingly, the majority of them are Chenford related, but I had a LOT of West and Lopez feels too, so. Here we go. I started to try to get my feelings out, but it just became me copying quotes that I either laughed or had other feelings about, so…

“Grey’s busy, and Smitty’s getting a back tattoo.”

“That’s --”

“Don’t ask.

-- When I say I laughed out loud. Jackson and Smitty’s relationship is one of the best callbacks this show does, and every mention of that ridiculous man is hilarious.

“But it’s super important she doesn’t get shot today.”

“No promises. You ride with me, you ride the rollercoaster.”

-- Nyla Harper is my favorite person. She was excellent in this episode, from the very beginning to the sweet moment at the end (that ending scene did NOT need to be about Nolan, this should have been solely focused on Lucy and Jackson and what they accomplished today, but I can’t say I’m surprised. But Harper made it better.)

Tim tossing the list out the window immediately.

“You know, littering is a $250 fine.”

“Worth it.”

Lucy pulling a backup list right out. They know each other SO well.

-- HILARIOUS. Although I’ll admit my guard was up the moment she pulled that list out and used the word “trickery.” It worked out differently than I thought it would, but… well. We’ll get to that.

“I knew my TO would be important to my career. But I don’t know. I didn’t realize how important you’d be to my life.”

-- I should have been more prepared for the Lopez and West feelings today. Their relationship probably started out the rockiest of all the TO/rookie pairings, and maybe rightfully so… but it’s become the least complicated, the closest to friendship the fastest, and their bond is just really something. Jackson was right - a LOT has happened in their 13 months together (yes, show, I remember exactly how long it’s been -- do you?) and they’ve both grown and changed in such wonderful ways. Angela looked sentimental the whole episode (while still being her badass, hilarious self) and West looked SO relaxed, it was such a lovely bookend to their first days together.

“I wish someone taught me how to be in this one.”

“Oh, so we are in a relationship.”

-- All the references to a relationship were good, if not entirely baity. But Tim’s delivery of that line was amazing and made me laugh out loud. He sounds so long-suffering and very much like an exasperated husband, and it really pinpointed one of the ways they interact that just WORKS so well. It just feels natural, and Eric Winter’s delivery was great.

“Tell me the truth -- Am I gonna poop myself?”

-- This entire conversation was so randomly hilarious (but added levity they all clearly needed then). Harper and Lopez are hilarious together and I truly wish the show gave us more of that.

“Don’t worry -- I will personally stand watch over your kid until you leave the hospital.”

-- Jackson West. I love you.

“I really hope our last shift together doesn’t end with that.”

“Yeah, me too.”

-- EMOTIONS.

Tim distracting her with her list. The man KNOWS her. And him acknowledging that she’s been to hell and back. Again, I say -- EMOTIONS. It was such a good callback to him knowing she needs to focus on work and order and process to remain calm in some situations.

“One look from you could send me into a tailspin.” And one day, it will again -- in an entirely different way, I am SURE. The way they both knew she was referring to Plain Clothes Day was great.

“I dunno. Smitty is surprisingly maternal.”

“That is the most horrifying idea I’ve ever heard, and I want it to be a reality show so bad.”

“Right? I would watch the hell out of that.”

-- Lowkey this was the most hilarious exchange of the night. I would also watch the hell out of that reality show. All these little moments made me miss Lopez and West together so much. Their scene at the end of the episode was lovely. All the times he thanked her. Please still let them interact often. The show NEEDS it.

“We did it.”

“No. You did it.” THE MOST TIM BRADFORD THING I’VE EVER HEARD.

“Office Chen impressed me with every decision she made today. I will miss riding with her.”

The callback to the evaluation in Plain Clothes Day. My heart skipped a beat, honestly. The way that Tim was looking at her in this scene while she read the note was… it was a lot, and apparently too much for me to process currently because that’s the most intelligible thing I’ve got to say about it.

“You don’t let anyone ever tell you you can’t do something. Not even me.”

-- WHILE HE HELD THE HANDSHAKE. This one line tells you all you need to know about Tim Bradford and his RELATIONSHIP with Lucy Chen, honestly. He knows she’s “as tough as they come” and has “been to hell and back” and he knows, even if it scares him, even if it gives him flashbacks to Isabel, that she can do it.

Her gift to him was such a nice callback. For a show that doesn’t seem to track or care about its actual timeline, they’ve done a wonderful job with callbacks especially this season, and especially Tim and Lucy related ones. All the Caleb/Rosalind stuff. All Isabel mentions. Multiple mentions of Plain Clothes Day and their first day riding together, etc.

Every. Single. Time. He has called her Lucy this season, I have had to compose myself, none more than in this episode. I do kind of wish they’d waited until that last moment to have him call her Lucy (to her face, we all know I don’t think the phone call scene from season one, although one of their very best moments, counts)... it might have felt slightly more impactful (although the moment in the season premiere was great in its own way.)

Honestly, it was a little weird for me watching the show tackle their final moments as TO/rookie because I’ve written so many versions of that myself? (And look, I’m not gonna lie, their version gave me feelings, but I liked mine better). I wish that truly lovely garage scene hadn’t come on the heels of that “confession” scene, but it did help make up for it.

You might have noticed that I specifically skipped over that “confession” scene in the shop. As soon as he started talking about lying and UC work, I said “ugh” and then immediately wrote the scene in my head -- down to her laugh, it was that predictable once you got the gist. And I’m going to be honest -- if I had written it, I would have deleted it.

I KNEW going in -- and I think most people will agree -- that this was not going to be a true confession. That we weren’t going to get a Chenford love confession tonight (and please, can we discuss that ‘canon’ and ‘endgame’ are not interchangeable for just a sec.) But the way it happened just felt SUPER ship baity, and using it in the promo even more so. I just felt super pandered to in a ridiculous way that didn’t leave me with the most pleasant feelings about the writers… the garage scene at the end definitely helped, but overall the confession scene left a sour taste.

The thing is -- the things she said? How he saved her? How the reason he’s protective of her is that he might have feelings too? Those are all valid things! And things that, at least in fic, I believe. But watching that scene, me, someone who can read something shippy in the TINIEST glance? I didn’t FEEL those things. I wasn’t nodding along like “yep, yep, that’s all true” -- there wasn’t a moment during that scene where they looked at each other and I thought “yes, this is hitting too close to home for one of them.” Maybe that’s just me. I don’t know.

And I don’t know if that’s because I was too in my feelings about being badly pandered to, or if it just wasn’t there, or what. But… just overall I’m left with a feeling that it was just an entirely unnecessary scene that probably didn’t serve the ship well, just judging by some reactions I’ve seen.

Those feelings though? The ones I wanted to feel in that confession scene? I FELT THOSE, every single one of them, in the parking garage scene at the end.

Every look was perfect. Every pause, the handshake (a hug would have truly saved the confession mess, let's be honest, but can't be picky), the way he looked at her as she read, THAT is the writers do SO perfectly right for Tim and Lucy (and I know the majority of that credit goes to Eric and Melissa, because the moments that are the most impactful are the looks that just can't be entirely scripted.)

Do I still ship them with every fiber of my being? Yes, and nothing the writers do or don’t do will change that. Will I still (eventually again) write a million words about them falling in love how I think they should? Yes. Do I need the show to stick to moments like in the parking garage -- real, honest moments between them? YES. That is what the show gets right about their relationship. If they can just stick to those moments -- and somehow continue them and make them believable even if they’re no longer riding together -- I’ll be happy.

Am I worried about their interactions now that they’re no longer riding together? Yes. Their chemistry is honestly the best thing on this show. Giving less screen time to Lopez and West together has been rough -- not only on the relationships aspect that so much drives the show but on the timing/pacing as well -- and I worry that their best characters/best ship not sharing as much screen time will not help either of these issues.

Maybe they’ll surprise me. I hope -- I think -- they will.

(Random, but things I still need from this season: A Rachel mention? Don't get me wrong, if they want to forget her, I'm cool... but it feels like (even a fake love) confession should have been the right time to be like "I know this is awkward, you're dating my friend..." Come on, show. I don't care about her, but you tried HARD to sell us on her last season, so at least give her a two second mention to update us on what is actually going on. The Lopez-Evers wedding. (Do I think it'll be THE Chenford event most people are hoping for? No. But I'm ready to be proven wrong.) A continuation on Harper's love life. UPDATE ME on my girl.)

[one-more-fangirl]

Happiness - Brett Talbot

(gif not mine! credits to owner)

brett talbot x hale!reader

summary: a little bit of a summary of what goes on for reader through s4, moments with her dearest boyfriend included.

warnings: curse words, mentions of people about to be burnt alive, gravely injured and hunted, and mentions of death

masterlist

***

Y/n Hale was not happy when she heard that her big brother had been abducted by Kate Argent. She wasn’t happy when her pack prohibited from going with them and then came back with Derek being her age. She was not happy when Scott yelled at her in the middle of the night practically ordering her to get her up from the bed from the room next to hers —when Derek left, he had made amendments with Melissa McCall, and the nurse was now in charge of her whenever the older Hale disappeared, resulting on the teenage girl living almost permanently with the True Alpha and his mother, (something about her not missing her education or some shit that made her roll her eyes when he explained it to her) and Y/n had to admit, she was more than happy to stay with the McCalls—, because he had bitten a boy and then kidnapped him. She was not happy when a dead pool appeared with her name on it next to the number 12, indicating how many millions her head cost. She was not happy when Liam lost all control because of some dude whose name they hadn’t told her yet.

To sum up, over the past few weeks, many things had happened that had infuriated the youngest Hale, almost making her lose control. The young she-wolf was grumbling under her breath next to Stiles and Scott. The alpha was venting to the two about how he wasn’t sure if Liam playing was safe with Garret on the field.

“Scott, Wolfie, I’ve told you a thousand times” Y/n sighed “I can take him down whenever you want, just say the word”

“And we’ve told you a thousand times that you are not taking anyone down tonight. So stay here and don’t get into trouble, missy” Stiles pointed at her with his index, acting like the big brother he had become over the time he had known the green eyed girl “I’m gonna go call Lydia to see how she’s doing with the second half of the list. You stay here, listen to Scott and be good, alright?”

“First of all, I’m not five, Stiles. And second of all, it’s not like I have much of a choice, Scott is my alpha”

“Right.” he pursed his lips, and looked at her for a moment “Alright, be right back, you be good” he repeated, kissing the top of her head.

Y/n huffed, rolling her eyes and waving goodbye at her honorary brother, leaving her with her other honorary brother. Who soon ditched her for her honorary soft sister.

She liked to think of the pack as a family, her family. After her biological one broke and Peter was revealed to be the murderer of her oldest sister, and then Cora went back to South America, the McCall pack was all she had left, along with her actual brother. And that included Noah Stilinski, Melissa McCall —who was basically her mother now— and Chris Argent. She had admitted the twins too when they were left as omegas, but after Aiden’s death, Ethan left somewhere, as did Isaac because of Allison’s. She missed the four of them terribly, Isaac had been her favorite out of her brother’s betas, and Allison taught her how to fight without transforming. The twins just so happened to be as bad as she was, and she had enjoyed causing trouble with them.

She turned her eyes to the newest addition to the pack, Liam Dunbar. The boy had caused some trouble at first, but N/n believed that everyone with potential caused trouble. Like her. She smiled, getting up to go talk to him and his friend. She may as well make friends with people her age; she had spent her first semester of high school with Juniors, and she hardly knew anybody in her classes. So she got up, not bothering to inform Scott and Kira —they looked like they were on their own little world— and walked over with the dazzling white smile all Hales seemed to have.

“Hey Liam” she chirped, then turned to Liam’s friend “I believe you’re in my history class, right? Matt? Please tell me your name isn’t Matt, I had a terrible experience with one”

“Mason” the dark skinned laughed “And I sit right behind you in history”

“It is so nice to meet you, Mason. I’m Y/n, but you can call me N/n”

“Dude, why didn’t you tell me you were friends with Y/N Hale? How are you friends with her? You’ve been here for three days!” Liam and N/n looked at each other and laughed.

“Scott introduced us. He thought someone my age would help me at the hospital, and that N/n here should talk to people her age” he made up, excluding the fact that they’d actually met while he was tied up to a chair.

“Which is bullshit, by the way. I talk to people my age, and I have friends that are my age. They just don’t know about them”

“Because they don’t exist?” the blonde teased with a smirk.

Liam had joined the pack literally three days before, but Y/n was quick in welcoming people, and the two youngest members hit it off instantly, becoming best friends after one conversation. Bickering with each other was mainly what that friendship was based on.

“They do exist, you little shit” she glared at the beta “And you know what? I came here to wish you good luck out there even though I have absolutely no idea who we’re going against, but honestly, with how you’re treating me I fell zero regrets when I tell you that I hope you do horrible. Now if you’ll excuse me, my new best friend Mason and I have to go find seats to boo you from” the raven haired girl turned around while grabbing Mason’s wrist, who had been laughing at the other two’s playful banter, and started to walk to the benches.

“Oh, come on, N/n!” Liam called laughing “You know I didn’t mean it!” but when the girl didn’t look at him, he started to get worried. He may have known her for three days, but he already knew how scary she could be “You do know that, right? Please don’t kill me in my sleep!” his voice wavered a little in nervousness.

“I’ll think about that, Dunbar. Just watch your back, I know where you live” she winked.

“You’re terrible” Mason shook his head with a smile “I love you” and she burst out laughing.

“I know, I’m amazing. So, who’s the other team?”

“Liam’s old school, Devenford Prep. That’s why he’s so nervous”

“Dev-Prep? Oh, you have got to be kidding me” she huffed.

“Uh… why?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’ve just heard about them, they’re supposed to be really good” she covered while scanning the seats and the other team’s bench.

When her eyes landed on the boy, he was already looking at her with a smirk. He had smelled her, the asshole. She glared at him, and his smirk grew. He knew she was mad at him for not telling her. But then she spied Garret on Beacon Hills’ bench, and the glare turned into a look full of worry. “Shit, he’s not in the first part, what if he’s in one of the other two?” She hastily put her hands into the pockets of her jacket, trying to pull out her phone and mark the beta’s number. She signaled it to him, and he understood immediately; they couldn’t just talk to each other with so many people around, they’d look insane talking to thin air like they were having a conversation.

She put the phone to her ear and ignored Mason’s look of curiosity.

“Surprise, babe!”

“Not now, idiot. This is important. Is Lori with you?”

“Of course she’s with me. She likes to come support her awesome brother-”

“Brett shut up and listen to me” she cut him off, and he did as told when he registered the tone of urgency she had. Mason’s eyes widened he heard the name “Brett” come out of her mouth, looking back and forth between the lacrosse player and her new friend “I can’t explain everything over the phone, but I need you to tell me where Lori’s sitting” she put a hand over her phone and looked at Mason “I am so sorry Mase, but I need to go look over a friend. I hope you don’t mind, and again, I’m so sorry, but this is really important”

“Hey, it’s okay. You look worried so go make sure they’re alright. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about the hot number 28 you’ve got” he finished with a smirk. Y/n chuckled and sent him a smile before getting up and running down the stairs of the seats.

“Did he just call me hot?” although Y/n was concentrated on not tripping, she could picture her boyfriend’s smirk when he said that, and sure enough, there was one on his lips when she looked up “Are you coming here?” he asked, eyes locked on hers.

“Mhm” she answered, running a little to get to him, careful not to be seen by any of the members of her pack or Garret “Okay, listen up. There’s not enough time for me to explain everything to you, and I’m pretty sure if I asked you to sit this game out you’d scoff at me, but,” she started rambling as soon as she got to him. Brett didn’t dare interrupt her “it’s really important that you tell me where Lori is and if there’s anyone else from your pack here”

“Uh… okay, yeah. Lori is over there with Drew, Max, Kenzie and Jackie,” he turned, pointing at some seats where the Hale could spot the five young werewolves “and other than them, I don’t think anyone else came. They had things to do” he turned to the smaller figure next to him “What’s going on, N/n?” he took her trembling hand in his, stroking her knuckles with his thumb.

“I-” she couldn’t even begin to explain when the whistle blew and both teams were called to the field “Shit. Just please be careful, okay?” she told him, pleading with her eyes. He nodded, and placed a quick kiss on her lips before taking his helmet and stick and running out with his teammates.

Y/n sighed and left to go find Lori and the others.

“Hey guys” she slumped on the seat next to Jackie, making all five of them turn to look at her.

“N/n! We were wondering how much it’d take you to figure out that we were the opposing team” Drew chuckled “Kenz won the bet” she gestured to her girlfriend.

Y/n laughed as she watched the others pay the brunette, who was wearing a satisfied smile.

“Thanks for taking so long, N/n”

“Anytime” she chuckled.

[...]

Once again, Y/n was not happy. Turns out, Brett was Garret’s objective, and him and his bitch girlfriend had tried to kill him. Now, she was on the backseat of Stiles’ jeep —that just didn’t seem to be going fast enough for her, even if they were over the speed limit by quite a lot— with a struggling beta laying his head on her lap. She had sent Lori and the others home to warn Satomi as soon as she’d found out.

“I told you to be careful, Talbot. You just can’t listen to me, can you?” she scolded lightly, trying hard not to let the tears in her eyes come down. The boy could only muster a pained smile, eyes shut and fists balled. He was trying hard not to lash out on her.

They got to the animal clinic, and Stiles helped her carry him, but as soon as they got in, Brett lost control. It took a surprise punch of Peter to knock him out.

“What was that for?! I almost got him!” Y/n turned around to face her uncle, eyes glowing gold in fury.

“You almost got him?” he scoffed in disbelief “He was this close to slashing you in half. I can’t have that happening to my favorite niece, can I?”

“Fuck you, Peter”

[...]

The next day, Derek woke his sister up from her nap, saying they were going to take a stroll around the woods. After half an hour of walking next to him and talking about meaningless stuff she finally stopped.

“Okay, that’s it. You’re looking for something, and I’ll help you find it if you tell me what it is. But first, you need to tell me since when you’ve been losing your werewolfness”

“I haven’t been losing my “werewolfness”, N/n” he rolled his eyes, that were identic to hers. In fact, the two siblings were incredibly alike, they could’ve passed as twins if they were the same age.

“That’s bullshit Der. I don’t even have to listen to your heartbeat to know that. So how long?” he sighed.

“Since Mexico. Lost my eyes first, then my strength, and now I can barely smell anything. Soon I won’t have my hearing either”

“Fuck. That’s alright, I’ll look into it, find out what it means. I’ll figure it out, and in the meantime, I’ll call Braeden and ask her to help you learn how to fight without super strength. She owes me, so that won’t be a problem” she said, starting to panic.

“Hey, hey, N/n look at me” Derek held her by the shoulders and made her look at him. He had the soft smile that had been reserved for her since they moved to New York with Laura “I’m going to be okay. I promise you. Alright?” he stroked both her cheeks with his thumbs, and smiled bigger when she shakily nodded “Alright. Now, help me find Satomi”

“We’ve been walking around to find Satomi? Dude, you could’ve said it earlier! We’re going in the opposite direction! Jesus.”

“How do you know where it is?” he asked, a small smirk tugging at the end of his lips “Does it have to do with that beta that we helped?”

“Shut up. It’s not like you can talk. Braeden, huh?” she eyed him, and for the first time in a while, she saw her big brother blush slightly “I like her” she nodded approvingly “She’s a badass. And after your last relationship anything would be an upgrade, but jeez bro. If she wasn’t straight and y’know, your age, I’d try to take her from you” she exclaimed, making Derek laugh at her antics.

“Yeah, yeah. But seriously, is he your boyfriend or something?” he put his serious face on “‘Cause if he is, I need to have a talk with him”

“Derek, honey, you’re not gonna scare him off, he’s been raised by Satomi. Unlike you, I went to visit her when we came back, and I met him. He’s great, and I really like him. I didn’t know how to tell you guys that I’ve been dating someone for the past nine months” she looked down at her hands “He was there for me when Ally and Aiden died, you know? I showed up at his house in the middle of the night, and Satomi took me to his room. He didn’t ask anything, he just held me, told me he got me and that everything was going to be okay. Ally wanted to meet him, she found me coming out of the woods with a stupid smile once, looked behind me and saw Brett standing there. She squealed right there” Y/n chuckled at the memory “She was the only one that knew. I promised her that after the Nogitsune I’d take her to meet him. That never came. Instead, Brett decided to come with me to the cemetery, and introduce himself to her as my boyfriend. That was the first time he called himself that in front of someone that wasn’t of his pack or someone flirting with me”

Derek looked at his sister intently, and he couldn’t help but think of himself. She reminded him of how he talked about Paige, how her eyes brightened up even when she was talking about Allison, just because she was focused on the werewolf. He nodded.

“He seems like a nice guy. You look like you really love him” he chuckled when Y/n's head shot up, cheeks flaring.

“I uh- I haven’t really told him that I do yet” she admitted shyly, something unusual of her.

“You should. Don’t wait too much, even if you’re afraid. I’m pretty sure you’ve turned into his anchor” he told her with a smile “Yesterday, he was about to attack me until you called his name. His eyes flashed back to normal just before Peter punched him”

“I will. Come on, the pack should be just- here. Oh my God” dead bodies all over the floor. People she knew were laying lifeless, blood dripping down their faces “Brett! Brett! Lori! Satomi! Someone!” she took her phone out, calling her boyfriend, and stressed more when he didn’t answer “Shit!”

And for the millionth time in that month, the youngest Hale wasn’t happy. She was worried sick about her boyfriend and his pack. She needed to know they were okay. Fortunately, she found out there were survivors, waiting for her. Needless to say she rushed there as soon as she heard their whereabouts come out from Satomi’s voice, leaving a Derek Hale to run after her, trying to convince her everything would be okay.

“Lori!” she sighed in relief, pulling her, and any other member she could get her hands on into a hug “Thank God, you guys okay. How are you feeling? Stupid question, c’mere” she rambled, taking Jackie’s figure into her arms as well. The poor girl had tear stains on her cheeks, and she broke down again in the embrace “I know, sweetie, I know. I promise you, it’ll get better eventually, okay?” she felt the petite girl nod into her neck.

She scanned the room, looking at the scared werewolves. Her brother was talking to Satomi, the alpha looked like she had a lot going on, but kept it together for the sake of her pack. She smiled at the woman, and she nodded at her with a smile of her own, appreciating that she was there.

“N/n” she turned around, meeting Max’s bloodshot eyes “I’ll take her. Go find Brett” she nodded, carefully passing Jackie to the Asian boy, she put her hand on his shoulder, hugging his side and left.

She found Brett in a slightly secluded corner. She sat down next to him, not saying a word. She waited for him to wrap his arms around her, letting him take his time, and she placed hers around him too. He completely broke down in seconds, muffled sobs coming out of his mouth.

“I’ve got you baby. I’m here” she told him softly, running her fingers through his curls and placing kisses on his head “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. It’s gonna be okay”

They sat there, holding onto each other for dear life, shedding tears until they both fell asleep. They woke up still in each other’s arms, tear stains on their cheeks and hearts broken.

[...]

A couple of weeks later, on the day of the bonfire, Y/n was sitting with Liam and Mason, feeling tipsy and not really knowing what was going around her. She found Malia next to her and smiling wide she threw herself onto her.

“Cousin! How are you? It’s weird, I never thought Peter would have kids, y’know?” she slurred, dopey smile still on her lips. Malia listened and nodded to her words “But here you are! I’m so glad you’re here, Lia”

“Me too, N/n. Let’s go dance!” she exclaimed laughing.

But they couldn’t, because some dudes appeared out of nowhere and took them both forcefully inside the school.

“Hey dude! Careful where you put those hands! I have a boyfriend and a big brother with a badass girlfriend, and so many more friends that’s kick your ass. Scotty here will when he’s sober. Right, Wolfie?” but the man didn’t listen, and threw her next to Liam and covered them in gasoline “Hey, Cub. How you doin’?”

Suddenly, the door opened, and Derek and Braeden walked in kicking ass. The music stopped, and Y/n had the feeling she’d been hammered.

“Thank God I can’t get drunk. How do people deal with hangovers?” she asked Braeden as she helped her. The woman chuckled “Thanks, Brae”

“No problem, kiddo. Heard you think I’m hot” she smirked.

“I stand by what I said. You seen yourself? Damn, girl.” she laughed, then looked down at the guys that were previously holding her and her family “Hey asshat. Told you what would happened, you didn’t listen. Idiot” she kicked one’s head.

“Let’s get you home, N/n. You stink” Derek scrunched his nose, arching a brow at the girl’s middle finger, unimpressed.

“Actually… I don’t think we have time to take a quick shower” Scott said, hanging his phone “We need to go to Deaton’s. It’s Satomi’s pack”

Scott didn’t need to say anything else, Y/n was already heading out the doors. She’d get to the animal clinic even if she had to walk. Luckily, her brother’s girlfriend had a car. In ten minutes all of them except Malia were at the clinic and getting out of the car. Scott met Kira with a kiss, and Y/n ran past them to get to Brett and Lori, meeting them with a bear hug. She kissed Brett once they pulled away.

“Fuck, you guys. You almost died and you don’t call me? What the heck?”

“Kira said she was calling Scott and that you were with him. That’s not important, what is that smell?” Lori scrunched her nose.

“And what the fuck are you wearing?” Brett growled, looking at the shorts and top that showed her belly and shoulders. He took his jacket off and put it over her “You went to the bonfire like this? You know how many boys and girls have most likely been drooling over you?”

“The same amount of boys and girls that didn’t get any of this” she gestured to herself and winked at her obviously jealous boyfriend “And it’s gasoline. Some assholes tried to burn us alive. Derek showed up with Braeden —his hot, badass, amazing girlfriend I talked to you about— and kicked their asses. It was amazing”

“And you didn’t call me?” Brett mimicked with a teasing smirk “Let’s go get you cleaned”

“Wait. Liam! Come here, let’s get rid of this smell before you go back home”

The blonde boy glared when he saw Brett so close to his best friend, but he walked up to them anyways. The two betas didn’t seem to be very happy about the other’s presence.

“Gosh, get over it” N/n rolled her eyes “You two need to cope with each other. Liam is my best friend and Brett is my boyfriend”

I liked it better when you didn’t know him”

“Oh yeah? Well, I liked it better when I didn’t know this jackass was your boyfriend” Liam answered Brett, matching the taller boy’s glare.

“Boohoo, kiddos. Deal with it”

[...]

An hour later, after N/n was cleaned up and Liam was home, what was left of Satomi’s pack and a few members of the McCall pack stood in Argent’s building. Y/N stood next to her brother and Scott as they studied the hurt werewolves.

“They’re not fighters” Derek stated.

“We know, that’s why I called reinforcements” Y/n told him, not taking her eyes of her hurt boyfriend and his sister. She had been keeping them in sight since Kira told her what happened on the lacrosse field “Chris should be here any minute. I’m just hoping he arrives on time”

Sure enough, not even five minutes later, Chris Argent entered the place and was immediately ambushed by a turned Brett Talbot. Y/n rushed to the hunter’s aid followed by Scott.

“Woah! It’s okay, I called him” she placed her hand on the werewolf’s claw “Brett, put the claws and fangs away”

He did, taking a hold of her hand.

“What do you mean you called him? He’s a hunter!”

“This is his place” Scott explained.

“He’s Allison’s dad” Y/n added, and Brett’s blue orbs softened.

“Sorry” he muttered to the man.

“The hunters are going to be here soon. They’re not gonna stop until they’ve got everybody in that dead pool”

“Then let’s make our own dead pool!” Derek spoke up, giving a speech.

“That’s my brother!" Y/n cheered quietly next to her boyfriend “He was an alpha once, I think the speech thing goes with it” Brett laughed silently, shaking his head.

Scott came by, taking the girl by her arm.

“Hey, can we talk?” he asked softly. He led Y/n to a corner when she nodded “Listen, uh… first of all, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend” the Alpha sent her a look, and she giggled “Which is something I’d like to be notified of, and Stiles’s probably going to flip when you tell him- You’re telling him N/n” he pointed at the teenager girl to hold her back from protesting. But she still got to talk.

“I was going to tell you guys, I swear. But he was meant to meet Allison first and then-” she cut herself short, both pack members looking down. Y/n inhaled “Then she d-died. And Aiden did too, and then Isaac left and I felt like everything around me was falling apart, and then we had to train Malia and-”

“Hey, hey, I was just joking. You could’ve told us whenever you’d felt ready” Scott placed his firm hands on her shoulders, sending her a soothing smile “What I wanted to tell you actually has something to do with her.” he explained, and his little sister placed all her six senses on his words “The last time we had a battle like this, she died. I promised myself no one else would die, and that applies specially to you, okay? I can’t lose you too. You’re my little sister, I can’t go back home and explain Mom that you’re not coming anymore, I can’t wake up and find your room empty and know that the reason behind it is that you’re dead. So please be careful, N/n. I can’t lose my little sister”

Y/n nodded with tears in her eyes, lunging herself at her brother. She hugged him tightly, and he answered with her.

“You better be careful too” she muttered into his shoulder.

Once she felt him nod she let go of him, kissed his cheek and left to find Brett. She found him leaning on a wall.

“Listen, babe. We’re about to go into battle, I want you near me at all times. Or you could go hide with Lori and the others”

“I’m fighting, Brett. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. But promise me you’ll come back. Don’t you dare die out there, you hear me? I’ve saved your ass too many times not to kill you myself. So don’t let anyone kill you” she kissed him, hoping it wasn’t the last time she did it “And remember that I love you” she whispered against his lips, nagging at her own.

“You do?” he whispered back excitedly as a grin formed on his face. Y/n hummed and nodded “I love you too” he told her as if he was telling her a secret, only to capture her lips with his again.

And then the first gunshot was heard.

[...]

Y/n Hale wasn’t happy when, after the Benefactor was discovered and the dead pool was over, Scott and Kira were kidnapped just before a lacrosse game. She was not happy when her best friend was almost killed by her boyfriend on that game. She was not happy when, hours later, that same best friend tried to tear her down to shreds on the back of a Federal Police Department’s van. She was not happy when her big brother was stabbed several times by a berserker and he told her to leave him there —in fact, she’d been a mess for the next few minutes until another berserker had attacked them. She was not happy —furious, actually— when her dearest uncle proved to be the monster everyone thought he was.

But in the end, everything worked out. Her brother came back to life —evolved and everything— and even if he left again, he promised he’d be back soon. Kira and Scott were back with them again; Liam was slowly but surely gaining control; and most importantly, it was summer.

Summer holidays was all Y/n had been waiting for since the beginning of the school year. Brett and her had decided to go on a road trip across the California coast, so they had taken a van, a map, money, they’d packed some bags, and off they were.

Currently, the couple laid on top of the van. It was a hot night, but Y/n still had her boyfriend’s jacket wrapped around her as she rested her head on his chest. She listened to him talk about the constellations that they could see, pointing at the stars and tracing imaginary lines that connected them. The raven haired girl sighed contently, smiling up adoringly at the blonde boy next to her. He looked so into what he was telling her, Y/n swore right then and there he could’ve been talking about why he thought two plus two were three, she could’ve laid there forever and see his face lit up the way it was doing.

“I love you” she interrupted him abruptly. He looked at her with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion “Sorry, it just came out. Continue” Brett smiled sweetly, pecking her lips.

“I love you too” he chuckled, and then turned to look back up at the night sky.

Y/n Hale was finally happy.

[bowie-boy]

Favorite LGBT+ headcanons for X-Files characters? Mine is that pretty much every main F.B.I. agent(including Krycek) is either bisexual or asexual(or both)! :)

This has been in my inbox for months and I keep forgetting about it I’m so sorry but TODAY IS THE DAY!!!! Happy TDOV Fox and @himbo-mulder (this is my response to your ask too)

LGBTQ X-Files Headcanons Because Someone Asked

Fox Mulder:

Bi and trans icon

The first person he told was Samantha

She accepted him immediately as her big brother and told him he should name himself Fox (it was her favorite animal at the time)

He was going to make his name William Mulder Jr. up until she disappeared, in which he actually decided to make his first name Fox (he misses her 🥺)

Came out to his parents sometime in high school, both took it badly

Bill was hella transphobic—he was already pretty shitty to Mulder but this added a whole new layer to it

Teena was more passive aggressive about it but still made withering comments about how she “lost two daughters now”

Some high school friends (*chants* PHOEBE AND GIMBLE PHOEBE AND GIMBLE) helped Mulder start T and change his legal name on government documents before he left for Oxford

Mulder wanted to go stealth while he was there but came out to Phoebe

When they broke up, she outed him to everyone

Things got so bad that he almost dropped out

Mulder joined the FBI, excited at the prospect of knowing no one and being able to go exclusively by his last name

He was somewhat happy of his solitude in the basement—no one really looked into him past his spooky nature, so no one could find out he was trans

Since Samantha, Scully was the first person who was truly accepting of who he really was

Got top surgery sometime before Colony

Definitely fell in love with Scully right after reading her profile skrjnwkdjwka

Mulder and Krycek were definitely an item for a hot sec until Krycek went evil

Mulder is 500% faithful to Scully but kinda had a crush on Doggett for a little bit

Mulder just wants to be a better dad than Bill 🥺🥺🥺

Mulder helped Byers realize he was trans!!! More on that later though

Dana Scully:

A bi queen

Definitely experimented in college and had a couple girlfriends there and through med school

Ending up breaking up with a girl she was really close with because Scully’s job was just putting too much strain on their relationship

It was really hard on her and made her swear off serious relationships for a long time

She thought Mulder was adorable from the moment she saw him but was really scared of actually developing feelings for him so she pushed it down

And kept pushing it down until she finally realized Mulder was never going to hurt her and actually let him in

I’m just ranting about MSR now oops

100% faithful to Mulder but thought Reyes was super hot

Scully is just a distinguished bi idk what else to say

Walter Skinner:

You can’t adopt THAT MANY LGBT agents if you’re not LGBT yourself, right?

Definitely bisexual

Grew up in a really conservative family and didn’t even consider it an option until he moved out

Skinner was attracted to a lot of guys in his squad in Vietnam but he thought it was just because there were no women around

(Spoiler alert: it wasn’t)

Skinner fell in love with John “Kitten” James and he fell hard

Absolutely did everything possible to protect that man

He was terrified of his feelings though and pushed them down, eventually starting to resent his best friend for making him feel things he couldn’t understand

When Kitten got infected by that gas, Skinner put his values over the man he loved, not just because he thought it was the right thing to do, but because he was terrified that he might be bi

He has regretted it ever since

Married his wife after the war and had a pretty good relationship until he became too consumed with his work

Their breakup was really hard on him and he delved even more into his work

Sometime after Avatar (maybe by season 5 or 6), Skinner meets a really lovely man and that man becomes his boyfriend

It’s really hard at first, but the guy helps Skinner to open up and allow himself to be okay with who he really is

They make time for each other outside of work and are really happy together!

Skinner’s boyfriend is 100% okay with the fact that Skinner has basically adopted all these agents

Skinner is everyone’s dad!!! No exceptions

John Byers:

Trans man!!!!

Discovered it pretty late in life, like he knew earlier but he Repressed it

First person he ever came out to was Mulder (as in my fic 😌)

Lots of internalized transphobia in this man but Mulder and the Lone Gunmen really helped him break out of that

Langly and Frohike obviously went with him to get his first T shot and chanted “MAN JUICE” while it happened (scaring a lot of the nurses)

Met Susanne before he transitioned so seeing her again in Three of a Kind was a little terrifying for him

She accepts him though and is a bi icon herself

Byers wears suits so much because they make him feel really validated

Ringo Langly:

Non-binary and gay!! Langly uses any pronouns (gonna stick to he/him for this list to keep things simple though)

Grew up pretty unaware about gender as a whole, just living his life

Moving away from home to a city was huge for him, he started going to gay bars and really realized that he was gay

Eventually started to experiment with his gender, using different pronouns etc., and found out he was non-binary!

Came out to Frohike shortly after learning Frohike was bi (more on that later)

Goes by Ringo because it’s somewhat gender neutral

He isn’t dysphoric very often but when he is it’s very hard for him to cope, Byers and Frohike are always there to support him and help however possible though

Langly gets way more dates than Frohike and loves to brag about it

Melvin Frohike:

We stan one funky little bi king

HE WAS AT STONEWALL I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL

Frohike had a mega crush on Mulder when he first met him and it persisted all the way until he met Scully

And then when he met Doggett he crushed on him too

Frohike is just kind of a hopeless romantic okay I love him

Absolutely bonds with Scully and they always debate which celebrity is hotter while they get more and more drunk

John Doggett

GAY MAN

Doggett was really repressed for a lot of his life, not because he thought his family would hate him for being gay but mostly because of his environment

(He was a drama kid though)

The military REALLY repressed him and thoroughly fucked him up

It wasn’t until he met Reyes that he started to accept himself more

At first Reyes being a lesbian totally freaked him out and he was really upset, leading to a huge strain on their friendship, but one night he broke down and told her he was pretty sure he was gay

Reyes really helped him through everything, especially his divorce from his wife and the loss of his son

Doggett eventually came out to his dad, who was super accepting

It took Doggett a long time to be comfortable enough to date but he started and met a really great guy, one who he’s now married to

One day he mentioned his boyfriend in passing and the rest of the Spooky Squad totally flipped out because they had no idea he was gay

Doggett just straight-faced “I didn’t think it was relevant?”

Sings musical theater songs in the office when no one else is there

Monica Reyes:

A lesbian

There isn’t a straight bone in her body have you SEEN her???

Absolutely crushed on Scully for the longest time at first, totally backed off when she realized she was involved with Mulder

Total mlm/wlw solidarity with Doggett

Reyes is super comfortable with her sexuality

I’m convinced that she’s married and she and her wife live in the same neighborhood as Doggett and his husband

Running out of brain power at this point but I just love her so much??? Mwah

Alex Krycek:

Gay rat

Everything he did against Mulder and Scully was fueled by spite at his ex-boyfriend Mulder

Daddy issues

Sometimes he breaks into TLG’s base and vibes with them for a few days

Rat (affectionate)

Deep Throat:

Gay :)

Bonus: Melissa Scully is a trans lesbian and Samantha Mulder is bisexual and they’re dating

[galaxina-the-pyro]

Zack Underwood for da character list? 🥺

Zack's not really a comfort character of mine, buuuuut...eh, what the heck?

But because you didn't give me any numbers, I'll just pick three that I feel like I can answer relatively well...uh...4, 8, and 11.

4. What about their personality do I like?

I don't think Zack gets enough love. They could've easily written him out to be neurotic and bring him into an ongoing trend that I'm honestly kinda sick of, but instead, we got a legitimately cool dude who reacts to things very naturally. The first episode of MML was amazing, and part of why that is was because of Zack - in fact, I think I can list off everything about Zack's personality in this very episode that makes me like him so much.

To put it simply: Zack is REAL. He reacts to things in a very real (and very comedic) way. He isn't fake, he's a legitimately cool guy with a laidback personality, but that chill vibe doesn't mean he's immune to freak-outs. More importantly, he serves as a proxy for the audience, in it that he's the one who asks questions and is the most in the dark about Murphy's Law (just like us, the audience), and is learning how to better handle it along the way - he's genuine, he can be goofy, he's just an overall cool dude.

8. Something about them that made me laugh

There's a lot of moments that made me laugh, but the one that I can think of regarding Zack on the top of my head has to be the freak-out he had with the fish in the Lard World episode. And like, the attempt to high five Milo only for Milo to smack him in the face. That was great.

11. My favorite relationship they have with another character

It's a tie between Milo and Melissa.

They're a genuinely fun trio, really good friends. Yeah, I COULD say that Zack and Melissa are closer, seeing as they crush HARD on each other towards the end of season 2 (and there's just A LOT of romantic hints throughout the show that makes the two very compatible), but I wouldn't be doing Milo any justice by leaving him out - Zack's interactions with both of them just...I just love these three, and I would cry if anything happened to them.

And the way their friendship DEVELOPS? It's just so good, guys, it's too good.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Mine

13. Agust D

Genre: Min Yoongi x oc

Warnings: none

Word Count: 4.2k

I have a surprise for you guys in this chapter!!! 😊😊 Aaaaand we’re all set up and ready to go for the finale! 

2 Months Later

Anacortes, Washington, USA

The distant sound of a bell pulls me back to reality, and I turn to face the wind. Waves are pushing their way onto the shore, the choppy water fighting for my attention.

I watch as the ferry grows ever closer before putting my earbuds into my ears to answer my incoming phone call.

“Funny, I was just thinking about you,” I smile as I close my eyes.

“Really? What a coincidence. What are you up to right now?”

“Just about to board the ferry. You?”

“I’m going to head to bed soon.”

“Wow, so early. You’ve become so disciplined!”

Yoongi’s breathy laugh fills my ears and I can almost picture him rolling his eyes if I close my eyes tightly enough. “I’m assuming you’re not available to facetime?”

Frowning, I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “No, too many people around. You’ll just have to deal with the beautiful sound of my voice.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

It’s been two months since I last saw Yoongi outside of Bong-cha’s apartment. The chill that comes with currently residing in the northwestern United States is almost the same as I felt that morning when we said goodbye.

‘Young Rising’ came out just over a month ago, and it’s received a lot of success. Thankfully it was just enough to help me land a role that is already receiving speculation for possibly being a critically acclaimed role.

It wasn’t the one I originally wanted, that role went to Bryce Dallas Howard. I suppose I’ll have to try for a 1700’s romance some other time. This time around I get to play the daughter of one of the first lighthouse keepers in the United States and all the crazy events that unfold. It’s fun, and getting to take the ferry out to the San Juan islands here in the state of Washington is an added bonus.

My favorite part of the role? Every morning I get to sit here and watch the ocean and talk to Yoongi.

“Rude, but I’m not surprised. Isn’t it barely midnight there? You really are heading off to bed early.”

“Yeah, it’s midnight. What can I say? It was a long day and I’m exhausted.”

Now that I listen closer, I notice the hint of tiredness in his tone. “Why? What happened today?”

Yoongi sighs as I get up to board the ferry. Another great thing about being here in Washington? It’s cold and rainy enough that nobody bats an eye at me. I’m decked out in my raincoat and my beanie is pulled down low. During this time of year there aren’t many tourists either, so most mornings it’s just the ferryman and I. Today there are a couple of small groups milling about, though.

All the better. It gives me an excuse to not facetime Yoongi and have him laugh at my bundled up state. Which, for the record, he finds hilarious.

“Promise not to laugh?”

“Promise.”

There’s a second hesitation before he speaks up again. “I miss you.”

It’s a blow straight to the heart, and I cling to the railing so as to not fall overboard. We try not to dwell on our current state too much, things are complicated enough. Still, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one struggling with this.

“Why would I laugh at that?”

“I don’t know, you like making fun of me and how weirdly sentimental I can get-”

“Soft. That’s the word you’re looking for.”

“...right. How could I forget.”

“I miss you too, Yoongs. A lot.”

It’s silent on the other end of the phone for a little while, so I just lean up against the railing and watch as the ferry begins to edge out to sea. Once again I close my eyes against the crashing waves and try to convince myself that I’m sitting in the genius lab or making a mess of things in the kitchen.

How could a span of less than a week affect me so much? It’s a question that I’ve come back to many times over the past couple of weeks. Occasionally I get a moment of understanding. Sometimes that understanding comes late at night as I cuddle up in bed, propping my phone up to chat with Yoongi as he sits at his desk in the genius lab and tells me about what he’s working on.

Just watching him mumble incoherent things under his breath and seeing his eyes flit back to his phone to check that I’m still there makes me realize that there’s so much going on here. So much going on whilst being so far apart.

At least the media frenzy has died down a bit. Sure, there’s still a lot of theories tumbling around, but the mobs of heartbroken fans seems to have lessened significantly.

“Are you sure that’s everything, though? What else have you got going on?”

“What, me missing you is not enough?”

I chuckle into the phone. “Nope.”

“Fine, you caught me. We’re finishing up the final touches on the mixtape and I always just get really stressed before a release, you know? Like you did the night before ‘Young Rising’ premiered?”

Shuddering at the memory I groan. “Ugh, don’t remind me. But what is it exactly about this mixtape that has you so nervous? I mean, this isn’t the first time you’ve released one. Maybe whatever helped you de-stress last time will help you this time around, too.”

There’s a long pause but I wait patiently for him to speak. The island is just coming into view now, I’ve probably got about fifteen more minutes before I’m officially on the clock and have to hang up.

I hate that part.

“I’m not so sure...it’s different this time around.”

I frown. “What’s so different? You’re even more loved?”

A wry laugh on his part. “No, not that. It’s just...this mixtape, these songs...they’re even more personal this time around. Sure, I’ve talked about some pretty personal things on my previous mixtapes, but this time around the entire mixtape is personal.”

That’s news to me. Ever since Yoongi changed the concept of the album he’s kept everything under lock and key. He told me he kept most of the tracks, ‘My First Mistake’ obviously being one of them. Other than that, though, I have no idea what to expect.

“Yoongs...I think that will make this mixtape your best one yet. Really. People will be able to relate to it, and they’ll love you even more for it. Just, get some sleep tonight. You’ve worked your hardest - don’t try to brush it all off, you’ve nearly worked yourself to the ground over this mixtape! - and that’s all you can do. I’m absolutely positive it’ll be great.”

“Thanks, Car. So what scenes are you doing today?”

We get lost in the conversation for the remainder of the ferry ride before suddenly the ferry is coming to a stop. I hurry off the boat, the tell-tale change of tone tipping Yoongi off to what I need to do.

“Talk to you later?”

“Yeah, sounds great. Get some sleep!”

Yoongi chuckles. “Will do. Have a great day.”

I sign off the phone and roll my shoulders. One of the producers, Melissa, is waiting for me in a little golf cart.

“Hey Cara, ready for the day?”

Grinning at her, I jump into the passenger seat. “Definitely.”

🌙

It’s the middle of the night when I’m awoken from my slumber, and I groan as I contemplate just turning my phone off. It was a late night, I’ve probably only been asleep for a couple of hours at this point.

When I see who’s calling, though, I pick up.

“Bong-cha?” I ask blearily. “What’s up?”

“Have you listened to it yet?!”

I hiss as Bong-cha screams into my ear. “What are you talking about? Did you and Jimin finally kiss or something?”

“No, you idiot. Yoongi’s mixtape!”

My eyes widen and suddenly I’m completely awake. “His mixtape? I-it’s out? When?”

“It just dropped like an hour ago! Didn’t he tell you? I mean, I get that he wanted to surprise everybody, but I thought he’d at least tell you.”

I’m already on my music app, searching for Agust D. When I finally hit search, I scream involuntarily.

“That little punk! He didn’t even tell me!”

“Wait, Cara!”

“What?”

“Just, listen to it.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do, weirdo.”

“No, but really listen to it. I mean, it’s about you.”

My chest stops rising as my air gets cut off. “What do you mean it’s about me? We already knew about ‘My First Mistake’-”

“No, not just that track. I mean it’s all about you. Just look at the name of it! Isn’t it a little weird that he didn’t stick to his m.o. and title it ‘D-3’?”

I was in such a rush to click on his profile that I didn’t even bother to look at the title. When I do, I come gasping up for air.

Mine.

Written there in big, bold letters is the word mine.

“That doesn’t mean any-”

“Nuh-uh, you listen to the mixtape and then we’ll hash out the details. Got it?”

“Fine. Call you in the morning?”

“Isn’t it already morning for you?”

“Yeah, 4!”

“Right. Yeah, call me later.”

Clicking off the call, I take a deep breath to steel myself before clicking on the album. 8 tracks stare back up at me, most of them I recognize from that first night in the genius lab. The leading track is ‘My First Mistake’, which makes me smile. When my eyes trail down to the final song, I can’t help but click on it.

My Last Mistake. Turning the volume up, I sit back against my headboard and listen. And then, note by note, I fall under his spell.

Yoongi’s heartbroken voice talks about details of his life, how he goes by many names. The world knows him by Suga. His true fans know his other name, August D. Min Yoongi controls the strings of those two personas. A heavy beat pounds out the words alongside him.

Then the music slows, becomes calmer. Clearer.

In the most tormented voice he can manage, Yoongi talks about a girl that called him Yoongs. He talks about a girl driving under the stars that called him Yoongs and how in that moment, he decided that none of the other names mattered anymore, just so long as he could hear her say it one more time.

As the song falls from its crescendo, Yoongi brings up his last mistake.

“What’s your last mistake, Yoongs?” I whisper, hoping for an answer.

He answers it a moment later, the same melody from ‘My First Mistake’ being played out, only this time it’s on the guitar rather than the piano.

He’s reminded of his last mistake every time a plane flies overhead and he can’t run fast enough to catch it.

🌙

The entire mixtape is hauntingly beautiful.

As I finish listening to “Naksan”, a song set Naksan park, and what I assume to be the gazebo that overlooked Seoul, I lean my head back and sigh.

There is so much we don’t say. There is so much that Yoongi has never said, but now I’m beginning to realize why he was so nervous about this mixtape.

Here, crammed into these eight songs that talk about everything from t-shirts to being oceans apart, Yoongi says everything he never could before. It’s obvious, painfully so. He didn’t try to cover anything up.

I am so dead.

Yet, I can’t find it in myself to care. The only thing I wish I could do right now is show up at his apartment and sit down on his couch. Maybe eat some food, and watch as he fumbles for an explanation to this mixtape that is no longer a mixtape but more a cry out into the void.

And of course, don’t even get me started on the title track. The song that the album is named after, “Mine”.

In it Yoongi recalls his dreams of having a big car and house, and how he gets to call all those things his now. He has it all, essentially. And yet, the one thing he wants more than anything is far from him.

‘I have it all, I hear them say it. I have it all, they chant over again. When will they realize that it means nothing to me, if I can’t call you mine?’

Dragging myself to check Twitter, I see what the number one trending topic is right now.

#Mine

And in second place?

#CaraisMine

Somehow, I can never quite make it to first place. How disappointing.

Groaning as I realize that the sun is about to come up, I linger over Yoongi’s contact information.

One call. That’s all it would take. A single phone call, and maybe everything would change. But what would I even say?

Hi, it’s the girl that’s ridiculously in love with you. Do you feel the same way? Great! Let’s end our careers and live in Fiji!

As enticing as that sounds as I watch the rain pouring down, I know that it’s unrealistic. I’m here, caught up in some strange, long-distance relationship that’s technically not a relationship.

And Yoongi’s there, hopefully receiving all the praise he deserves for coming out with yet another great mixtape.

So I just let the dim light from my phone fade out before slipping back down under the covers. I know what Yoong is thinking now.

Ball’s in my court. But how on earth do I return it?

🌙

Seoul, South Korea

“And she still hasn’t said anything about it?”

Yoongi knows that Taehyung is trying really hard to understand his current predicament, but if he asks him if he’s heard from Cara one more time, he’s going to lose his mind.

“No.”

“Have you reached out to her?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Sighing, Yoongi rubs his hands over his face. “First, because it’s only 8 o’clock in the morning over there. Second, I basically just told the world about my feelings for her, I think I can give her a little space to breathe before jumping on her.”

Taehyung plops down beside Yoongi, his eyes wide. “You’re really stressed, aren’t you?”

Somehow the question makes Yoongi laugh. “You think?” He feels restless; he has for the past two months. He thought releasing the mixtape would diminish that feeling, but instead it’s been heightened to the point that he can’t hardly sit still anymore.

Which is saying a lot, because Yoongi loves sitting still.

“Hyung?”

“Hm.”

“I think you should borrow my car and go for a drive or something. Just get out for a while. You’ve been cooped up in this studio for weeks; it’s messing with your head.”

Sometimes Yoongi forgets how much everyone cares about him. It’s in times like these that he remembers. Without saying much else he takes Taehyung’s keys that he extends to him and heads out.

When he gets into the car, he doesn’t know where he’s going. His mind is filled with worry and doubts and worst of all, regret. Was he too blind in his feelings that he overlooked Cara’s? After all, maybe she’s listening to the mixtape right this very moment and wondering why he would write something like this.

Maybe she hasn’t called him yet because she’s trying to come up with a way to let him down easy.

Yoongi drives and drives, turning up the music so as to drown out the thoughts in his head. He drives on and on, clueless to the fact that it’s the middle of the night and he should really be heading back to the apartment now.

When he parks before a lit path that leads up, Yoongi realizes that his body knew this entire time where he was going.

Without questioning it further, he hops out of the car and shrugs on his coat and mask. It’s late enough that hopefully most people will have had the sense to go home.

As Yoongi climbs up the path he only passes a couple of people; a couple that are too tangled up in each other’s embrace to even notice him. The path continues ever upward until he’s panting, but he’s grateful for the burn in his lungs. For a brief moment, his mind isn’t consumed by the what ifs of his current situation.

As Yoongi clears the final steps, his gaze immediately turns to the gazebo just down a ways. It’s the same as before, the night a similar one to that night when he watched Cara from afar before mustering up the courage to go talk to her.

Tonight there is one major difference. As Yoongi edges closer, there’s a tightness in his chest. There’s some part of him that half-expects Cara to appear, leaning up against one of the pillars and looking out at the city.

As Yoongi steps into the gazebo, that wish vanishes into thin air.

It’s empty.

Cara is not here. Yoongi is, though. Which has proved to be the most miserable thing in the world over the past two months. Cara is gone, but somehow Yoongi is still here and seeing her everywhere he goes.

The songwriting and production process is enough to make anyone go a little insane. Usually, once the project is finished, Yoongi feels like he can finally breathe again. He’s able to enjoy the fruits of his labors.

Not tonight.

At first he laughed at himself, back when he’d first started learning about Cara from Bong-cha and curiosity overcame him. He thought it was silly of him to want to learn everything about her and what it was that made her tick. There was just something about her that made Yoongi dive right in.

Of course, the boys had noticed. Even Bong-cha, who hadn’t known him for very long, had noticed the difference Cara had made. That was before they even met. Before any of this had even started.

Yoongi knows his place. His place as one of the most famous stars in the world, his place in the group’s dynamic, his place among his family. His place among ARMY. Yet, when he met Cara, it was like the ground disappeared under his feet and he’s been falling ever since.

He used to come to Naksan park often and just think. He’s not one for hiking around outdoors, but something about the view and the beautiful architecture of the gazebo and old city walls that line the path have helped him think.

He used to stand where Cara stood, and think about everything. However there was one topic that he tried to avoid at all costs: love. It wasn’t because he didn’t believe in love or didn't want it; if he’s learned anything from his time with ARMY he’s learned about love. But there was always this giant, impenetrable wall that stood between him and love.

Yoongi knows his place, and because of that clear role he has also always known that him falling in love with someone other than his fans was off the table.

That night when he came to meet Cara, he was coming to tell her just that. He was coming to tell her that he was a horrible human being that was dangerously close to breaking that unspoken rule, and he needed to mark a clear line in the sand. Friends, he had thought We can still be friends.

Yet, as he’d watched Cara head to the same spot; the same pillar he had frequented so many times, his words had gotten caught in his throat. She’d looked out over the city and Yoongi would have given anything to know what she was thinking.

Instead, he’d just asked for what so many people had been unable to give him throughout his career.

Just someone to sit in silence with.

No demands, no questions, just be together.

And as Yoongi sat swimming in his feelings, Cara’s head resting on his shoulder, he learned something about himself.

Yoongi had avoided the topic of love for so long not because he didn’t think it was appropriate for his lifestyle, but because he’d known deep down that the chances of him finding someone he was willing give everything up for were nearly nonexistent.

Cara’s hand was wrapped up in his, sharing his pocket. Quiet breathing, feeling warm despite the oppressing chill. No demanding answers, just sitting together.

He had realized that while he was looking for someone to convince him to leave everything behind, he was sitting beside someone that already understood. Someone that would never tell him to abandon it all just to be together.

He was sitting beside someone that might just be open to the possibility of being together, and would be open to the chaos that would ensue. There was no need to change everything to be together, but there would be the need to fight for that privilege of calling Cara his.

As Yoongi now steps into the gazebo and rests on the bench opposite from where they had sat, he remembers when it all started.

The night after he’d watched ‘Under Nine’, he’d felt restless and wandered up here. It was the first time in over a year that he’d come here. He knew why he didn’t bother to anymore; he didn’t feel inspired anymore when he looked out over the city.

Yoongi had seen the world, and he’d fallen out of love with it.

It was a horrible, lying, cheating thing. He’d seen too much suffering, fought so hard against it just to see evil rise up again and again.

Yet when he came up here that night after watching Cara on screen and seeing that humanity can be beautiful even in all its flaws, something amazing had happened.  

He looked out over the city, and a little spark had jumped up in his heart. That night, Yoongi looked out over the world, and began to fall in love again.

Yoongi has never been very confrontational. Some may think he is simply due to his status as a rapper, but that’s never been the case. However, he is known for his undeniable work ethic. For his unending effort to obtain what he thinks he deserves.

When Yoongi placed a letter into the mail a few days ago, he was reminded of why he was going to do everything in his power to make this work.

When he looked at Cara, he thought that she deserved a chance at love, too.

Giving one last look out at the city, Yoongi gets up and stretches. There are a lot of uncertainties swirling about right now, but there is one thing he is completely certain of.

He is going to do everything in his power to give him and Cara a chance.

🌙

Anacortes, Washington, USA

I have mail.

It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve gotten mail, but I can’t fight the feeling of dread as I wonder if the awkward pleas from fans are about to start up again. There’s a single envelope addressed to me sitting on the ground in front of my hotel door, which I scoop up before heading back inside.

No work today; we’ll be taking a two week break to wait out the rainy season before picking things back up again. I’m grateful for the small reprieve, I would much rather stay cuddled up in my blankets today while I try to wrap my mind around everything.

I haven’t reached out to Yoongi yet. Granted, it’s only 10 am, but I still feel a little guilty. I just want to make sure I have my thoughts in order before I freak out, you know? After all, there’s still a chance the mixtape being about me is just a coincidence...right?

Stacey, my PR rep, just got off the phone with me. Nobody really knows where I am right now, which is good. There are perks to being holed up in a small town in the northwestern United States.

She gave me an earful on how many calls she’s received over the course of the last few hours from various magazines and gossip collectors. When she asked me if there was a statement she would like for me to relay, I blanked. Stacey just laughed and said she’d come up with some vague for the time being.

My attention returns to the item in my hand. Cautiously opening up the letter, my brows furrow as I take out a small slip of paper and a piece of thick cardstock.

Cara,

Hopefully this gets to you when it’s supposed to. I thought of just sending you an email but that seemed to detract from what I was going for. You understand, don’t you? When you told me about your break from work, I managed to pull some strings. Follow the directions on the back of this letter, I’ll be waiting for you. And no, I can’t do this over the phone. It’s an ‘in-person’ kind of thing.

Yours,

Yoongs

Flipping the letter over I frown when the directions are in French. Then, scrambling for the cardstock, my mouth drops open as I see just what Yoongi is talking about.

One boarding ticket for tomorrow morning, leaving at 10am.

Destination?

Paris.

Previous - Next

only one chapter left! 💛💛

taglist: @eusticenatalie @agustneeds​ @prdshobi​ @oceandeep​ @taylorroe3​ @dreamcatcherjiah​

[vidcund4ever]

I decided to answer these questions about my Sim related ships. NOTE: These are just my preferences for my gameplay! I don’t dislike or judge other people’s ships in their games! In fact, I think a lot of them are neat. x3

01. Vidcund x Cassandra <3

02. Vidcund or Cassandra x anyone else. I don’t know. I don’t see anyone else being a good match for either of them.

03. I’m going to keep this Q&A to The Sims franchise. My first ship was Chris x Melissa Roomies in TS1.

04. I ship Vidcund x Cassandra because they’re both shy nerds who have a lot in common, and I picture them both having a love for plants. I don’t think any other girl would see past Vidcund’s demeanor. As for the usual pairing of Cassandra x Don or Darren... Don is a himbo, and I don’t think Cassandra would be into a guy like that. (In my headcanon, she’s only with him to find more information about her mother’s disappearance.) As for Darren, I think his last name says it all: Dreamer. He’s out of touch with reality and would never actually pursue Cassandra. Even if he did and they became more than friends, I don’t think she’d ever live up to his fantasies.

05. I could never figure out who would be a good match for Vidcund until I started sharing headcanons with @nanominyo, and they shared theirs about Viddie and Cassie, and I couldn’t believe I’d never thought of it before! They’re perfect together! ^^

06. For a (very) short while, I had paired Dominic Newlow with Circe to try and make what happened between them in the PSP storyline less heartbreaking, trying to make what happened consensual, but you can’t erase what actually happened, which the sims community reminded me of. :( Poor Circe... Please keep him away from her...

07. I don’t think I ship a couple that most people don’t like (minus the mistake I mentioned above). I think, at worst, my ships are considered lukewarm. If I happen to have one you don’t like, you can comment it. I’m fine with that. XD It could be interesting!

08. Hmm. A ship most people like that I hate? Honestly, I don’t hate any ships (minus, you guessed it: the one I came up with between Dominic x Circe), but there are a few I wouldn’t do, like Pascal and Nervous. I do think it’s a cute pairing, but I also think Pascal is more of a parent figure in Nervous’ life rather than a romantic one. He has a maternal instinct, as we can tell from how he fathers Tycho. Also, I’m not entirely sure he’s over his crush on Circe?

09. Besides Vidcund x Cassandra? XD Buzz x Bella. It’s not a lasting relationship, but it’s one I think makes sense since Bella doesn’t actually like Strangetown. She thinks it’s, well, strange, and Buzz is the most “normal” person she’s met there.

10. Mortimer x Bella. I know they gave off Gomez and Morticia vibes in TS1, but Mortimer remarried very quickly after her disappearance in TS2, and Bella confirmed in the PSP game that she’d only married him for his money.

11. Are we still talking about my favorite ship, or...? I’m going to assume another pairing because I’ve already talked about my favorite one too much. XD Let’s talk about Tank x Johnny, because they’re another ship of mine. OTP, all the way!

12. JRO is popular, and I can see why. They’re all misfits one way or another, and seem very explorative like most sims their age are. It is kind of funny how majority of simmers give them this alternative style because I picture them more awkward than anything. XD I’m unsure whether or not I ship them as a poly relationship. I do see both Johnny and Ripp liking Ophelia, but not necessarily dating her at the same time. Maybe I’ll come around to it...

13. Kristen x Erin. I think they make a cute pairing, but I’ve only seen a couple other simmers ship them. Maybe they come off as straight? I mostly see them end up with male sims, but Kristen x Erin have great compatibility. (Taurus x Aries.) I also think the differences they have, like Kristen being ambitious and Erin being more carefree, maintains balance. Kristen learns to loosen up and accept her true self (like stop straightening her curly hair and start dressing more masculine), and Erin tries to take things more seriously (like pursuing an actual career).

14. I don’t know if I’m doing this right. I’m rating any couple? Because if I am, I’m rating Johnny x Ophelia a 6/10, maybe? They enjoy their teen years together, but as they get older they realize that they’re better off as friends. They have different priorities, as well as viewpoints on life. Ophelia is nervous and paranoid, and Johnny wants someone he can go on adventures with.

15. The way Tank and Johnny tease and fight one another until they admit their real feelings. Even after they do, Johnny keeps up the teasing. He loves the way he makes Tank blush. x3

16. My favorite canon moment of Annie Howell x Nervous is when she brings him back from the dead. He dies in the PSP game, but I don’t want him dead (and neither does Annie), so Annie pleas with Death who, obviously, is willing to make an exception for his son... although he resurrects Nervous as a Zombie. Even so, I think it’s sweet that she brings him back to get married and have a kid and try to live a (somewhat) normal life.

17. AU? As in Alternative Universe? I don’t have one of those. XD

18. I don’t know why, but I have to rant about Dina x Michael. Well, rant more about how they’re typically seen. It’s true that Dina cheated on Michael by kissing Don, but I don’t think the kiss was mutual. (Don isn’t afraid to “take charge” of a situation.) Looking at her memories, her love for Michael is deeper than most think — or that’s my opinion, anyway. After Michael died, Dina gave up on love and decided money would fill the hole in her heart.

19. If you go through my Tumblr, you’ll find plenty of memes that remind me of a lot of different pairings. XD

20. “Today” by Jefferson Airplane is one of the songs I can hear Vidcund play when he sits alone in the dark, thinking about Circe. I don’t pair them together, but for a long while Vidcund thought they’d make the perfect pair.

21. Everyday is a date for Circe and Loki, like conducting experiments on Nervous and eventually Gimi Branko at home, and making evil plans over dinner at a fancy restaurant.

22. I don’t think any of my non-canon pairings would ever become canon. I think the one that’d have the best chance is Johnny x Tank because GAY <3

23. No, I haven’t written fan fiction or drawn my ships. I keep my fiction in game, and I’d love to draw something, but I suck at drawing. XD

24. That’s all for now.

[stingslikeabee]

🖤 + Daigo ( verse of your choice ! )

send '🖤 + pairing’ for me to answer the following . accepting

1) my muse’s initial impression of yours: Daigo was trouble - and in the best way possible. From the minute Melissa laid eyes on him, she was very much attracted to Kamurocho’s most famous brawler (his physical features were very much up her alley) and he always had the personality to match. Despite his intimidating reputation at Shine, he felt like a refreshing challenge and he had her full attention from day one.

2) my muse’s favorite physical attribute of yours: honestly the full combo is the usual reply you’d get from Melissa - Daigo has everything she likes in a man: he’s stereotypically masculine, with a strong build, towering height, rough hands, dark hair/eyes, always has some sort of facial hair present, a deep voice, has marks/scars to show - he checks all the boxes, it’s pretty impressive (later she comes to adore and respect the ink, too). But if she needs to pick a single feature, then it would be his eyes. They really are quite lovely and ever-changing according to his emotions and she has always loved peering up at them.

3) my muse’s favorite personality attribute of yours: it sounds strange to most, but it is Daigo’s protective and caring nature. A lot of people (particularly during Daigo’s youth) did not see this side of him - only the rough exterior he projected (and did so with talent!). But the fact that he is always willing to do the right thing and to look after those who are more vulnerable hits a spot with Melissa - she was always fond of this gentle aspect of his personality, and in fact tries to curb it sometimes when it can overwork the man to the bone (it’s okay to be selfish sometimes, Daigo! Really!).

4) a moment that made my muse realize how much they care about yours: they became friends really fast - a weird bond considering everything when they met, but both were pariahs of sorts (although this was much more towards Daigo than Melissa; many would label her as ‘eccentric’ at most, while Daigo was outright seen as a troublemaker). But it wasn’t until the first time Melissa saw him almost unconscious and took him to the hospital that she realized his friendship was unique and unlike any other - it would take some time for her to realize feelings ran deeper than mere platonic affection, but this was indeed a turning point for her.

5) something my muse never found the words to say to yours: this is only valid for certain periods in their timeline because at some point I guess they have no secrets or nothing is really off the books? Their trust is so astonishingly deep that I think they do communicate everything. But I guess two things Melissa takes her time to voice properly are her (romantic) feelings for Daigo (we know it happens, but she keeps it bottled up for a long time because of his clan duties), as well as things related both to Mine and Sohei. Over the years she does say that Daigo did everything he could (to save Mine) and that he is not his father (he is, in fact, a great one), but these subjects are delicate.

6) something my muse wishes they had never said to yours: another hard one because they seemingly do not fight? Their synchronicity is kinda scary, but for the purposes of this meme I do think there may be a couple of harsh things Melissa may have screamed at Daigo during the times she was pregnant (mostly with Kazuya) where anxious and overbearing dad-to-be Daigo was impossible and she might have attempt to kick him out of a room for some space. With Hikari it happens again with the added ‘I thought you’d know better than this by now!’ because well, not your first rodeo, Dojima.

7) something your muse does that makes mine feel safe: honestly his presence around has always been very soothing to Melissa - the sound of his breathing, the warmth of his hands, the infectious quality of his laughter, the smell of his cigarettes and/or cologne, etc. But the textbook example really is this way that Daigo has to hold her - typically by placing himself at his side and then wrapping an arm from behind and around her waist, essentially pulling Melissa towards him and using his body as a shield. It happens quite naturally - Daigo protects her from any sort of danger almost by instinct and his senses are sharper than hers; if he does that, then she usually trusts his gut and stays alert.

8) something your muse does that makes mine smile: honestly, Daigo existing is enough to make her smile - but the fastest way to get Melissa to do this is allowing her to see his unfiltered and undisguised displays of cheer and excitement. She loves seeing Daigo genuinely happy - be it because his favorite team won a game, or because he solved a puzzle that had been bothering him for weeks, or just playing with his kids - anything that gives her an inkling that he is personally satisfied with himself and enjoying life. A close second is Daigo being embarrassed and/or flushed because she teased him - the idea that a towering and fearless yakuza going red and speechless at her side while she remains 100% composed is a source of joy to Melissa, too.

9) something my muse wants to protect yours from: his own impossible standards - Daigo holds himself to exhausting and incredible standards; he doesn’t allow room for failure and he sacrifices much of his own well-being (and even health) to ensure others can sleep safely at night. Daigo has nightmares and severe traumas due to a lot of episodes in his life and he scarcely gives himself time to properly heal (or work through them) because his priorities are always others - Melissa decidedly acts to mitigate this impulse (and to chain him to bed at some point if necessary; she is every doctor’s greatest ally because few things keep Dojima Daigo in line like a pointed glare from his best friend/girlfriend/wife).

10) ways my muse says ‘i love you’ without saying those words: gosh, they have such a complex and layered non-verbal language. They always seem to be conscious of each other and not only in terms of overall location but also feelings; Melissa will find his eyes with hers in a crowded room to check on him, will go to him with gentle touches to ground Daigo if he’s going through a particular episode, she will rub his back and move over his ink with circular motions to soothe him, will give him articles of clothing she has slept on/wears frequently for him to take on business trips when they need to spend time apart, will send him voice messages if he needs to listen to her voice - they connect on many different levels through seemingly innocent gestures and it all means she loves him - she will be there for Daigo somehow; she will always find a way.

[scullydubois]

Only the Light Ch. 19

19/? | AU where Melissa moves in with Scully after Scully’s abduction | angst, msr slow-burn, occasional fluff | currently: mid-s3 (canon-divergent) | T | 5.3k | previous chapters | read on ao3 | tagging: @today-in-fic <3

Fate touches Scully's life, as does her own free will.

-----------------------

Can you still call something a miracle when you could not have gone on without it? When, if it hadn’t happened, the death knell would have sounded in your memory? Is that really a miracle, or is it just what had to occur? Certainly what keeps you breathing wouldn’t be so highly esteemed if the chips fell the other way. It would be called a tragedy, and no one wants to live in a world where every moment is caught between the two.

Scully existed there for a little while, but she’s escaped. Maybe for good. Because this--the Lace’s sacrifice, her signature on the adoption paper, her baby in her arms--is no miracle. This is God realizing she’s gotten her fair share, that he owes her a break. This is her fate.

In more normal circumstances, the foster family and the adoptive parent would have no contact. Social services would handle the transition. Since those barriers are already broken in Emily’s case, the state allows the Lace’s and their son to accompany Emily as she’s turned over to Scully. The nondescript woman in the polo shirt joins them as a witness to the custody change, and so they all find themselves at Bill Jr.’s house--of all places--for one grievous goodbye and a destined hello.

Mrs. Lace passes Emily to Scully moments after the family walks through the door. Her red-rimmed eyes reveal the depth of her agony. 

“Take her,” she says. “I need to start letting go while she’s still in my sight.”

Scully bites her lip, feels Emily’s pudgy hand press into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Lace. I can’t imagine how hard this must be. I’ll make good on my promise to send pictures and updates, I swear.”

“Thank you, Dana.” She sighs. “It’ll be an adjustment.”

Her husband taps the head of the little boy by his knee. “This is Andrew, our son. He wanted to make sure Emily has the best life possible, so he made you a guide to her favorite things.”

The boy--no more than five--holds up a construction paper booklet with crayon drawings of him and baby Emily. How To Mak My Sister Smile, his stilted handwriting reads. Scully’s heart skips a beat as she accepts it from him. She kneels down so he’s level with her and Emily. 

“Thank you, Andrew. This is so sweet and I’ll be sure to read every bit of it and make sure your sister smiles every single day, okay?”

He nods, but tears cloud his vision. 

Scully turns Emily so that she’s perched on her knee, facing Andrew. “Tell me--what’s your favorite thing to do with your sister?” she asks him softly. 

He rubs his eyes and nose. “I like to show her my cars,” he stammers.

“Your cars? Wow!” Scully effuses. It’s not often that she gets to work on her kiddie voice, and she’ll need that now.

The color returns Andrew’s face. “Yeah, yeah, my race cars! I have a mat for them, and I push them around the track, and she watches. She likes the races. They make her laugh sometime.” 

“Wow! You sound like a great big brother.”

“Yeah, and I like her bouncy thing too,” he sputters. “It was mine before.”

“An activity jumper,” Mr. Lace clarifies. “From Fisher-Price.”

“Ahh.” Scully’s happy to get any insight she can into her daughter’s early life. The Lace’s offered to send some toys with Emily, but Scully will only accept a couple onesies and Emily’s beloved stuffed rabbit. She doesn’t want to take any more from them than she already is.

She adjusts Emily on her knee, looks to Andrew. “Do you wanna give your sister a hug?”

“Okay.” He moves bashfully toward her and wraps his arms around Emily. He holds on until Emily begins to fuss, then steps back like he’s been caught sneaking away from time out. 

“Emily’s lucky to have a big brother like you,” Scully tells him. “Your parents have my phone number, and you can call and talk to her whenever you want, okay? I know she can’t say much yet, but she’ll grow into it, and besides, she’ll recognize your voice.” Scully offers him a spirit-boosting smile. “Does that sound good?”

He nods, hands linked behind his back. Stranger shyness has taken over.

“Good. She’s gonna need her big brother to stick up for her.”

Scully stands up, clutching Emily to her chest. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Lace,” Scully addresses them, “it’s impossible for me to sum up how deeply, deeply grateful I am for you and your sacrifice. It is no exaggeration to say that you have saved my life. I can already tell that Emily is so lucky to have been raised by you--that you have done an incredible job--and I hope that the two of us will continue to be a part of you and your son’s lives as Emily grows up.”

Mrs. Lace dabs her cheeks with a tissue. Mr. Lace frowns at his wife’s pain. “That means a great deal to us, Dana,” he replies. 

“We feel blessed to have led Emily through her formative months,” his wife murmurs through her tear-strickenness. 

The man nods. “She’s a wonderful kid, and I’m sure some of that comes from you.”

Scully smiles tautly. “I could say the same of you. Thank you for giving her the start I was denied from providing her.”

“You’ll let us know if you need any help, won’t you?”

“Of course. I’ll have your number on speed dial by the end of the night.”

The Lace’s formal goodbye had taken place at home, they said, and dragging out their visit would only make matters worse. They leave Bill Jr.’s house after a few short minutes, advancing down the front steps like a funeral procession.

When the door shuts and Scully’s baby is in her arms, she realizes that this will be her life for the rest of her life. What joy--! What horror--!

----------------------------

The heater’s gentle sigh provides a generous rush of white noise as the girls settle for sleep. It’s the time of year when San Diego’s nightly temperatures start drifting away from perfection, when sleeping with the windows open no longer has such appeal. According to Bill, it’s not cold enough to turn on the heating system (surprise, surprise) so he pulled a dusty space heater from the closet for the “girl’s room” to share. Like a gentleman, Mulder took the couch (as if he had any other option), leaving Scully, Missy, and now Emily with the guest room. A family affair, one generation rounded out by another.

It’s a convenient arrangement, really. Bill doesn’t have a crib and it’s not worth buying one for a single night, so Emily will be sleeping on the bed like a grown-up. If Missy weren’t there as a physical barrier, Scully would be taking the chance that Emily might roll off the unattended side. Instead, the little girl’s mother and aunt will be an arm’s length away for her first sleep with her new family. A symbolic gesture of the protection they hope to provide for the rest of her life. 

It’s a wonder how smoothly the transition has gone. Emily hasn’t shed a single tear since the family she knew left her in this strange house. Then again, Scully has never seen her daughter cry; like her mother, she must not be prone to it. 

Tara served a ham for dinner while Scully spooned mashed carrots and peas into Emily’s mouth, her helicopter parenting beginning early. Mulder made some joke about gourmet baby food, and everybody laughed except Bill, and Scully felt that she finally understood what was meant by family--some who share your blood will never fit into it, but some who were once strangers will more than make up for that absence. 

And now, as Scully lowers her onesie-clad daughter onto the guest bed, there is peace. Terror, too, lingers in her mind, but it’s the unwarranted kind. She is the mother to a healthy baby girl. Yes, there will be challenges. Yes, a person loved separately from yourself is a person you could lose. But the summit has been reached; the worst did not happen, and now everything else pales in comparison. As far as Scully’s concerned, she can never be truly hurt again. Because if anything happens to Emily, well, this is what Scully asked for, and what gives her the right to complain? Beggars can’t be choosers, and she begged God for this...The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. This happened in the opposite order for her, so she can only assume more loss is to come, and she will accept it. She will.

Scully slides beneath the comforter, snaking her arm out from under to rest a hand on the small of her baby’s back. A comfort very familiar to her, and one she will bequeath to her daughter. They have the bed to themselves for now. Missy is in the living room downing a beer with the boys and trying to compete with (or mediate?) their trash talk. In the past, a situation like this might worry Scully, but those old concerns look so small now. 

Only a few hours in, and she already feels much more at home with the title of mother, much more deserving of it. The first diaper she changed rivaled some of the operations she witnessed in med school, both in its gruesome nature and in requiring multiple pairs of hands. Mulder would help if Emily was a boy, he swore, but he claimed to be “out of his depth with her plumbing” as he put it. Missy quipped that you sure are and it made even Bill laugh and life was wonderfully rose-colored through Dana Scully’s eyes. 

She hopes for sweet dreams for herself, but much more so, for her daughter, and she is aware that this is how it will be for the rest of time. Having been half-asleep when she was put down, Emily lulls into even-breathed dozing before Scully can decide on a lullaby. No harm done; Scully’s vocal cords haven’t seen regular exercise since college karaoke, and she’d hate to disappoint so soon.

When she opens her eyes again (she hadn’t realized she closed them, but apparently she had), Emily is deep in sleep, her eyelids twitching to the rhythm of her unseen dreams. And Missy has joined them too, her mouth drooping like it did when the sisters shared a bed every Christmas Eve. Scully doesn’t know what time it is, and with such a picture perfect view in front of her, she won’t dare to roll over and check the bedside clock. How nice it is to exist beyond time’s constraints, even for a moment. 

Scully is as present, maybe, as she’s ever been. She’s touched by the past and the future, ironically giving her a heightened awareness of now. One side of her consciousness is borne back into childhood and the many nights she slept by her sister’s side--in this very city, in fact. The other sees a path of hope unfurling in front of it, finally. She wonders whether her happiness might multiply, like a drop of food coloring unleashed into water. Might Emily be the shield that she’s needed?...Maybe the loss she expects will not be what comes.

And what that could mean...she has meant, for a long time now, to plant Mulder firmly in her life. Partner is much too fleeting--the Bureau could close the X-Files tomorrow, and then they’d be nothing but ex-coworkers. They’ve established where they stand through silences that say more than words ever could. She loves him, he loves her, and my god, neither one wants to lose that. It’s only now that Scully is realizing that they haven’t--or she, rather, hasn’t--embraced what they have, and so there is nothing to lose, and very little to cherish. 

With all this change in her life, she thinks, why not add that to the list?

--------------------------------------

They fly back into DC on Emily’s first birthday. November 2nd. Or at least, that’s the date that was left on the note at the foster agency. Scully isn’t sure exactly what she was doing last November 2nd, but she wasn’t having a baby, that’s certain. It was around the time of Aubrey, Missouri and BJ and nightmares, she remembers that. Plus, the phantom pregnancy, and the fear. The universe has a way of echoing itself.

They’re off to Mama Scully’s as soon as they make it off the tarmac. She’s aching to see her granddaughter, as she let Dana and Melissa know through a barrage of phone calls. I even made cupcakes and bought decorations for a warm welcome home! she insisted. Neither one of them can remember their mother being this excited about anything since...honestly? Ever. And they can’t blame her; Emily is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to their family. If only their father were here to meet her.

This is the sorrow that Scully has not had time to pick at. Her hero, her role model, the blueprint for all she wants Emily to be, not around to see it happen. She can’t think further than that; it’s the loose string that would unravel the sweater.

Mama Scully opens the door before they make it up the front steps, armed with yellow balloons and a party hat for the birthday girl. What a way to meet your grandmother. 

“Hello dear!” It’s unclear whether she’s referring to Emily, one of her daughters, or the three as a unit. “Look at you…” she cups her hands around Emily’s head, and now they’re pretty sure who she’s referring to. “You’re like a little princess!”

Scully smirks. She’s glad to witness her mother’s happiness, of course, but they’ve just finished five hours of travelling with a baby. “Mom, please, could you save the theatrics for inside?”

“Oh, I have a whole other set of theatrics planned there,” Mama Scully quips. She clears the way, ushers the group into the house. 

She touches Mulder’s shoulder as he passes. “Fox! I almost didn’t see you there.”

“Well, I can’t compete with Emily, so I don’t blame you.”

“She is precious, isn’t she?” Mrs. Scully gazes toward the doorway that Scully and Emily have since deserted. “There’s a place for you in Emily’s future, you know.”

Mulder shoves his hands in his pockets. “Oh.” He doesn’t know what else to say to that, and besides, it should be up to Scully.

“Unless there’s another woman in your life…?”

“No, no, I just--” he chuckles. “I didn’t expect that.”

Mama Scully lays a hand on his arm. “I care about you, Fox. Your well-being is deeply connected with my daughter’s.”

“Yes, of course…” He really, really would like to go in now. 

“And it’s important to me that she has a strong support system throughout this ordeal. Raising a child is a tremendous challenge, and I don’t want her to feel that the burden is hers alone.”

“I completely agree.”

“That’s why you should adopt Emily, too. Give her the gift of a father.”

Mulder’s brain short-circuits. “I--what? Mrs. Scully, I don’t know--”

She puts a hand on his back and leads him inside. “Think about it. You and Dana, forming a family for this child that needs one. It would be a little untraditional, of course, but the wedding could come in due time, no need to rush.”

Mulder’s head is spinning. This is a practical joke, right? The hidden cameras can feel free to reveal themselves any time now. 

The pair stops in the front hallway, a safe distance from everyone else in the kitchen. Mulder tries to mold his thoughts into cohesive sentences.

“Mrs. Scully, your intentions are good, but I think this solution is a bit extreme. I’m more than happy to help with Emily as much as possible, but becoming her father would just make things more complicated for all involved. And trust me, even if I were onboard, there’s no way Dana would go for it.”

Mama Scully nods. “I anticipated that. I’m going to talk with her tonight, straighten things out.”

Mulder does an awkward side-to-side shuffle. “If there’s one thing I know about her, it’s that her mind is not easily changed.” 

“Yes, well, I doubt this is something Dana has given much thought to. I’m hoping to get my argument across before she takes sides.”

“Mmm.” Mulder looks off toward the kitchen, where he would like to be. 

“I’ll let Dana know that we’ve discussed my proposition,” Mama Scully continues, “and then you two can talk it over, alright? I don’t mean to force you into anything. It just feels like a logical step. I’m sure you’d agree that your relationship is deeper than that of many married couples.”

“Sure, but it’s very different too,” Mulder mutters. This is not a topic to delve into with his partner’s mother, of all people. “I don’t know that they can be compared.”

“Perhaps you should consider it.” 

Mrs. Scully holds her hardened glance for a long second, and Mulder is the one who breaks. He scoots out of her direct line of sight, then gestures for her to go before him into the kitchen. “Shall we?”

------------------------------

They celebrate Emily’s 365th day around the sun like they’ve been by her side for every one of them. Before the crew arrived, Mama Scully whipped up vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles, or as she put it, “a little bit of everything since I don’t know what she likes.” She even bought a happy birthday banner and sharpied in Emily’s name--not to mention five birthday hats and a humongous 1 candle that a single cupcake can barely hold up. 

It’s a testament to Emily’s character that she’s so unbothered by it all. She lets Mama Scully slip the hat into place, shows no visible distress to the admiration she receives from the room. She prefers her mother’s arms over anyone else’s--they are, after all, the most familiar of the unfamiliar--but she’s content anywhere that welcomes her. And this is a place where she is most welcome.

Scully reminds herself to capture these little moments in her mind...Emily’s effervescent giggle as Missy tickles the bottoms of her feet,  Mulder helping Mama Scully add extra sprinkles to each cupcake, the warm hug of a family’s company. Love, love, there is so much love here. 

The time comes for cake and singing and blown-out candles. Well, candle in this case. Mulder performs the honor of lighting said candle as everyone gathers around, Emily nestled in her mother’s arms. 

“Ready?” Mulder inquires. He conducts in time with his countdown. “One, two, one, two, three…”

The rendition is not in tune on anyone’s part (though Missy is the closest), but at least their intentions are harmonious. Scully’s heart swells. Mulder and Missy throw in a zany “and many more!” for the cherry on top of a joyous moment. Scully mourns its end; the birthday song is much too brief.

“Make a wish!” Missy chirps, and Scully leans forward and blows out the flame for her daughter. Safety, happiness, love...these are the things she asks for. These are the things that everyone deserves. 

Scully’s not surprised when her mother pulls her aside a few minutes later and leads her to the library, leaving Emily at Missy and Mulder’s mercy. Her mother is fond of sentimental speeches, but not brave enough for an audience. Scully steels herself for a mushy-gushy outpouring. 

Mama Scully shuts the door, turns to her daughter. “I’m overflowing with joy. Aren’t you?”

“Yes, mom,” Scully answers, tiresome already. “I’m a bit afraid this is all a dream that I’ll wake up from at any moment.”

“Pinch yourself. You’ll see that it’s not, I promise.”

Scully pinches her bicep, more for her mother’s amusement than anything. This is, in fact, reality.

“You must be very overwhelmed, I imagine,” Mrs. Scully remarks, beginning to pace. Scully follows with her eyes. 

“There is a lot that I haven’t sorted out yet, yes,” Scully replies, her suspicion about her mother’s intentions growing. “Work, for example. I only have one more day off, and then I have to explain everything to Skinner, and hopefully I’ll qualify for maternity leave. But the Bureau isn’t very good about that, it’s only two weeks.”

“Just remember that I’m always available to babysit Emily if you need it.”

“I know, mom.”

Mama Scully allows herself to get side-tracked for a moment. “You have a crib though? And diapers, and a high chair?”

Scully nods. “Required for the home study.”

“Good.” Mama Scully sweeps back a wayward piece of her daughter’s hair. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re all alone in this.”

Her mother’s soft gaze unearths a sudden swell of emotion; tears prick at the back of Scully’s eyes. “I know, mom.”

“And I know that you’re gonna say you are Emily’s only legal guardian, and so you are technically alone, but you know what? You don’t have to be,” Mama Scully asserts. “There is someone out there who is willing to fill that void for you.”

Scully rolls her eyes, her brief emotional trance broken. “Don’t tell me you're gonna set me up with the Prizatskys’ son again.”

“Oh no,” Mrs. Scully laughs. “Besides, he’s engaged now.”

“Oh.” Scully tries to miss the patronization in her mother’s voice. 

“What I’m saying is,” Mrs. Scully continues, “there is a man in your life who is loyal, trustworthy, hard-working, and in the perfect position to provide for you and Emily.”

“If you’re referring to Mulder,” Scully starts, an eyebrow raised, “I’m not exactly planning to shun him anytime soon.”

“Yes, but have you ever truly let him in?”

Mrs. Scully has aimed her arrow and hit her target, a stunning blow. The most damning parts of Scully’s inner dialogue have just been echoed back at her. 

Wounded, she swallows hard. “That’s really none of your business. And just because he’s in my life doesn’t mean that he magically fills the role of Emily’s father. How would that even work? Emily would have to be shuttled back and forth...She’d be split between one parent and the other...It would make her life more hectic.”

“Dana, Dana…” Mama Scully pulls her daughter close, recognizing that she’s struck a nerve. Scully stiffens into the hug. “Remember when you were little, and your father would be gone on long deployments, and you’d draw pictures of him in his uniform, and tell your class about how your father was a Navy captain, and you were so proud? You barely had a sense of what that meant, but you knew he was doing something important.”

Scully relaxes into their embrace. “And when I missed him the worst, you’d let me wear his old sailor hat.”

“Yes.” Mama Scully takes a hearty breath. “I was there every day, feeding you, bathing you, sending you off to school...and you loved me, I don’t doubt that, but I wasn’t the one who put stars in your eyes.”

Scully nods against her mother’s shoulder. Damn, if she isn’t winding her way toward a convincing point.

“Emily’s gonna love you whatever you choose. But the fuller her life is--the more love she’s surrounded by--the more she’ll have to give, and the brighter her light will shine.”

Scully sniffles, shaken by the truth of this. God, to know as much love as she’s known in her life and resist it still. That’s not the way a life is meant to be lived.

“Thank you, mom,” she whispers in her mother’s ear. It’s an imprecise affirmation--encompassing everything and yet a specific something that she can no longer reject. 

Scully pulls away, smiles at her mom. “No more meddling, okay? I’ll sort this out for myself.”

Mama Scully laughs. “You just needed that push. Now that the ball’s rolling, I’ll leave it alone.”

“You’d better,” Scully teases. She gestures toward the door. “I should get back to my baby.”

“Yes,” Mama Scully grins, “you should.”

-------------------------------

The knock on the door comes at a quarter to noon, as Scully expected. She didn’t expect that she’d be scrubbing grape juice off the tile when it happened, but hey, these are the disruptions everyone in her life will have to get used to. Including--especially--her. 

“I’ll get it!” Missy’s voice breezes through the apartment. 

A moment later, Scully finds herself level with a pair of black dress shoes. Big ones. A twelve if she had to guess.

“Scully, if you wanna know my shoe size, just ask,” Mulder jests, and has he read her mind? She feels like she’s been caught in a compromising act, though she’s done nothing but wipe up a sticky purple mess. She cranes her neck, looks up at him.

“Good morning, Mulder,” she mumbles, running her hand over the spill area. Coming up clean, she finds her footing. The top of her head is even with her partner’s collarbone. 

Scully thumbs toward Emily, who is gobbling cheese crackers in her high chair without a care in the world. “Apparently she doesn’t like grape juice.”

“Grape juice?” Mulder jeers. “She knows orange juice is where it’s at.”

Scully ignores him, but makes a mental note to add OJ to the grocery list. And apple too, just to be safe.

“Let me get my shoes and I’ll be ready to go,” she says, shuffling off in her pantyhose without waiting for a response. 

They have a lunchtime meeting with Skinner to explain...well, everything. Mulder doesn’t need to be there--as his partner was quick to remind him--but he insists on advocating for her. No amount of I’m not a damsel in distress, Mulder will put him off. She’s so much more than that, he knows. Hence why he’s got to do all he can so her life isn’t defined by its crises. Besides, he’ll take any excuse to sneak down to the office on his day off.

He told Scully he’d pick her up because it’d be easier on her, sure, but also because he has an important delivery to make. He nods to Missy, and she grabs the goods off the front table. He wanted to make his entrance before the big moment. His presence known, he’s ready to go.

“Emily, Uncle Mulder brought something for you!” Missy sing-songs as she places the gifts in Mulder’s hidden hands. The girl looks up, her attention easily diverted here and there. 

Mulder tries to tip-toe forward--hands behind his back--without coming off as creepy, which is harder than it seems. He takes it as a good sign that Emily doesn’t spook and wonders what it means that Missy called him Uncle Mulder. Did she and Scully have a conversation about it? Is this what he’ll be known as? Or was that just a last minute reach to fill the space? 

He pushes these thoughts away, focuses on the blue-eyed girl in front of him. 

“Emily,” he begins, and it rolls off his tongue like a devotion, “I thought your bunny might like some friends.”

He reveals the fox first, then the UFO. His personal mark on Emily’s budding stuffed animal collection. She lets out a peep of astonishment and reaches for the fox, fascinated with its bushy tail. She hits it back and forth so it wags like a dog’s.

Mulder chuckles, his brain lighting up in places it never has before. Missy hangs back and waits for her sister to reemerge. Sure enough, Scully melts at the sight, stopping short so she doesn’t interrupt it. She clutches her heart. She and Missy share a smile.

“My, my, look at this,” Scully saunters in, ruffles Emily’s hair. “Do you know what this is, Em?” she asks, patting the fox. “This is a fox.”  She points to Mulder. “And this is a Fox, too!” 

Emily doesn’t get the joke, but that’s okay. 

“And do you know what this is?” Mulder prompts, picking up the flying saucer. He moves it through the air like it’s flying. Emily reaches for it, and god, Mulder knows the feeling.

“This is a UFO, Emily,” Mulder tells her sweetly. “Aliens!”

“No, no.” Scully plucks the UFO from his hand. “No aliens, Em.” 

She lays the saucer on the high chair tray. “Mama’s gotta go away for a little bit, but I’ll be back soon.” She kisses Em’s temple. “Auntie Missy will be right here.”

Missy steps forward. “We can play with Mr. Fox and the al--” Scully shoots her a look. ”The UFO!” she corrects, winking at Mulder. She scoops her niece out of the high chair. “Say ‘bye Mama!’”

Emily doesn’t have that grasp on words yet, and they all know it, but Missy gets her to wave. “Okay, now ‘bye Uncle Mulder!’” Another wave. Smiles all around.

Mulder and Scully move reluctantly toward the door. Scully groans as Missy and the baby girl slip from her view. 

“They’ll be okay,” Mulder assures his partner.

“I know,” Scully sighs, “but will I?”

Mulder rests his hand in the familiar spot on her back as they exit her apartment. “Absolutely. Skinner will grant you the leave, and you’ll be back with your baby in no time.”

She nods, bites her lip, and slows, suddenly wistful. Mulder stops, turns to her. “Scully…?”

“Mulder, did my mom have a conversation with you?”

He nods. 

“And...did you think it was kind of crazy too?”

He nods again.

She takes a breath and rises to her tip-toes. She could pretend not to know what she’s doing, but she does. Oh, she does. 

“But not out of the realm of extreme possibility…?” she coos, eyes centered on his lips. 

Mulder smiles shyly. He always expected it would be this way: Scully the coquette to his boyish ineptitude. Who knew she’d be stealing his lines.

His hands find her waist, pulling her closer there in the hallway. “No, no,” he muses, “I think it’s pretty solidly in the realm…” He nuzzles her neck, breathes in her sweet smell, and nibbles her ear, all in the beat of a hummingbird’s wing. “...of extreme possibility,” he purrs into her ear, satisfied with himself. 

It reminds Scully of do you believe in the existence of  ~extraterrestrials~ and how she knew then that he was a little bit unhinged, whip-snap smart, and too goddamn charming for his own good. That either fate or her own unconquerable desire would bring them together. She knows now that fate conspired to keep them apart. What’s unfolding is neither an act of its hand nor a last-ditch effort of a dead-end life. It is one choice among many, undertaken out of sheer belief in the happiness it could bring.

She looks into his eyes, which look back at her with a caramel-drizzle melt. Yes, yes, this is right. She fans a hand out on his cheek, runs her thumb over his mole. She has always wanted to touch it, but could never come up with a good excuse. 

They’ve delayed the inevitable long enough. Scully leans in, still on her tip-toes, and Mulder bends to close the distance. Their lips meet, and there’s no fireworks. No, it’s simple serenity. Like coming home after a long time away--though this is a house they have never walked into until now, they have a feeling they will be walking into it for the rest of their lives.

And then Scully pulls away, and it’s over but it’s just beginning.