#melody answers
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HERE TO DROP OFF A FILTHY THOT:
okok so the moon knight suit: it provides the boys certain abilities like instant healing, super strength, and agility.
well, what if it also gives them increased stamina...
just imagine -- when in their suits, the boys can fuck you over and over again without a refractory period, constantly filling you up until your overflowing with them.
the suits change depending on which one is fucking you:
marc has on the traditional suit with only a few wraps pushed to the side so he can take himself out. you're completely soaking the soft white gauze, but he doesn't care. if anything, marc's proud he's able to ruin with khonshu's suit while getting you off (two birds one stone lol).
he likes to keep his mask on because he knows how hot you find it. he can feel how hot you find it, fluttering and clenching around him when you meet his glowing eyes on a featureless face.
even after fucking a handful of orgasms out of the both of you, he's still trying to convince you to go again, already hard and pulsing inside of you. he gently ruts into you until you've recovered from your last high before speeding up again, cooing sweet words as you cry out from overstimulation.
steven wears the mr. knight suit. when it's his turn with you he's usually only able to shove his pants half way down before he gets too needy for you. he fucks without his mask on, wanting the ability to kiss you whenever possible.
you love seeing steven dressed in his white-on-white three piece suit. it fits his body so well, highlighting his strong biceps and trim figure. he could literally wear it to the met gala and no one would say a thing. you like when he's not wearing his mask bc you gain access to his unkept curls, plush lips and soft, needy eyes.
steven easily coaxes orgasm after orgasm out of you, staring at you in awe as your body writhes for him. he apologizes with bumbling words every time he gets hard again, unable to help it when you look so beautiful finishing for him. he's so soft as each high passes, touching you with a kind of tenderness that tips you off the edge.
i would add jake's but this is getting a bit long 😅
BITCH
WHERE'S JAKE
GIVE HIM TO ME
Also HRNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
To wake up to this????
#melody answers#you're killing me babe#moon knight#marc spector#jake lockley#steven grant#i'm just a hole#moots
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SLASHER BAND AU CHRONICLES !!!
featuring sinclair voyance!!
interviewer: my last question, whats your guys' favourite drinks? Bo: Sprite Lester: Sprite! Vincent: fanta.. Bo: you dont actually like that, you just wanna be diffrent, lester kick his ass Lester: HELL YEAH! Vincent: wait.. WHAT-
#slasher band au#band au#slasher au#slasher#slasher!band au#melody answers#melody q and a#slashers#bo sinclair#vincent sinclair#lester sinclair#house of wax#house of wax 2005#slasher! band au#if you know the refrence i love you
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Saw your tag on my post. You think that's bad? I'm drawing ship art of red and Henrietta based on their phone destroyer art.
Hahaha !!! I will ship anything. I'd drawn crack ship art of Enderman and Slender man. Mwuahaha.
HAHA ya caught me red-handed!!
honestly godspeed peep!! i’m not mad at the grind i love seeing and joking about crackships :3
i’ll level with you sometimes i jokingly ship stan and jimmy due to noticing they tend to have one on one conversations every now and then (the china problem and japanese toilets specifically) so i’m not innocent either LMAO


i mean look at them. what if we jokingly shipped them haha just kidding….(unless…?)
#like i said i ain’t mad at the crackship grind i love to see it 💓#scyde is neat. and so is red x henrietta. and stan x jimmy#SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND PROPAGANDA AND FLY 😆#melody answers#south park#stan marsh#jimmy valmer#do they have a ship name? stimmy?#sp stimmy#i honestly love the name ‘stimmy’ very me coded
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12 and 15 for the end of year asks please :)
Aww, thank you so much for the ask!
12: Answered here!
15: Something you learned this year: Hm. Writing wise? Most of my learning in writing this year has been in comedy--rule of three, hard consonants make words funnier, and characters are more funny if they've been fleshed out with specific details, rather than existing to prop up a plot. :) I have also learned that it is HARD to muster up energy when you work a full-time job. Idk how people do it.
end of the year fanfic asks
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HI HI HI MELODY!!! YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME JOIN MY DISCORD AND BECOME A CERTIFIED SILLY KITY!!!! /nf
i cant put the link here :c but i can give it to you if you answer..... /nf
Hihihiiiiii!! Sure I dont mind :D
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22 and 40!!
22. What hobbies does your OC/WOL have?
Weaving, botany, and mining! XD and recently, interior design!
40. What can cheer your OC/WOL up after a long day?
A long hot bath, a cup of tea with a book, then a soft warm comfy bed and maybe even a linkpearl call from G'raha!
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Helloooo! I was wondering if you are taking requests for Wind Breaker?
If yes, can I ask for a story or headcanons about Suo meeting and getting curious (and eventually falling for) a f.reader who is like a princess for Shishitoren?
In my head it would be funny to see Suo challenging and interacting with Choji and Togame (who are already threatening Suo to stay away from the reader). I mean, he can be kind of mean when he wants, and still wear a smile.😆
Thanks for hearing me out!
And let me say, I realllyyyy love the way you write!🩷
Shishitoren's Princess (& Her Guard Dog) | Hayato Suo x Reader
Word Count: 7471
୨ৎ Read me before interacting!
୨ৎ Pairing: Hayato Suo x Reader feat. Shishitoren (literally most of them), Jo Togame, Choji Tomiyama, Mitsuki Kiryu, Haruka Sakura, Akihiko Nire
୨ৎ Warnings: mdni, f!reader, manga spoilers, ooc (definitely ooc sorry ah), angst, harassment, swearing, kissing, miscommunication – if I’ve missed one, I apologize + please let me know!
୨ৎ Note: oh my goodness – I'm actually so sorry for how this took me (and how long this is ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა). I loved loved loved this idea so much, and thank you for the sweetest words! I really hope this is somewhere in the ballpark of what you were requesting! Thank you again for the amazing idea! I love you!
You hadn’t meant to cross over to their territory – truly. It’s just that Togame had mentioned that his favorite Ramune flavor had been out since last night, and Tomiyama had been going on and on about this new snack that just wasn’t available at the usual corner store that you guys frequented, so you found yourself with a mission on your mind and your wallet in your hand.
Pretty, perfect, caring adorable you. With a smile that could heal any scratch and a heart that seemed to never run empty. You were the pride and joy of Shishitoren – their mascot in every sense.
You knew everyone by name. If someone asked, you could name at least 5 things about each person from the top of your head. You could name their allergies, their likes and dislikes, and even their interests – all because you listened to them.
You were attentive and warm – quick to lend an ear if someone was having a bad day or offer advice if they asked.
And it was scary how well you could tell if they were in the dumps – it becomes a running joke that you have some kind of emotional superpower when it comes to them. It takes just one look, one look before you’re bringing them to a secluded corner and asking them if they’ve got something weighing on their minds.
You knew their personalities, knew their stories, knew their hearts.
The only time anyone avoided you was when they knew they did something wrong – because they knew you’d be pulling them by the ear and scolding them. And, as much as some of them wanted to get mad, they just couldn’t bring themselves to – because having someone care for them so fiercely was a feeling that not many of them had ever experienced, and from the bottom of your heart you truly cared.
After every fight, they knew you’d be the one to patch them up. Bofurin had the townspeople, sure, but Shishitoren had you. You, who would set up tables in the Ori with every inch of space taken up by ointments, antiseptic spray, gauze – the works. Whatever injury they had, as long as not severe, was taken care of by you.
If it was serious and required hospital attention, you were the one bringing them there – eyes sharp and tongue at the ready to yell at anyone who dared to treat them differently or deny services.
And these boys … they had the utmost respect for you. You, who had nothing but love to give, never expected a single thing back. You cared for them, genuinely, and saw them as your own brothers to fuss over and worry about and love.
You were family – and honestly, Togame and Tomiyama were just glad to have met you after their fight with Bofurin.
You’d moved to this side of town just a little after the whole thing, and when you’d gotten lost in the dark alleys with your phone on 1% and tears in your eyes, it was Tomiyama who walked you home. He’d talked your ear off the whole way, of course, but he was surprised at how you were able to keep up with him. You were actively responding to him, asking questions, keeping the conversation going – and Tomiyama liked that.
And when you’re delivered safely to your front door, you ask if you can exchange contact info. His eyes light up, and he’s quickly saying yes and that he’d love to hang out with you again.
He doesn’t expect you to reach out to him the next day though, asking if you can give him a thank-you present for going out of his way the day before.
And when you show up to the Ori, with a bag of assorted goodies in your hands, you’re met with more men than you could count, all with eyes staring wide at you.
They expect you to run away, honestly, because they know what they look like. They know that you’re probably a sweet girl, sure, but they were a gang – plain and simple. A gang working on reform, sure, but a gang nonetheless. So, if you were to drop your little goodie bag in fear and run for your life, well, it would probably be the most appropriate response.
Instead, what you do is gasp, point an accusatory finger at Tomiyama, and exclaim, “WHY didn’t you tell me that there would be more people here?”
You quickly hand him the bag, muttering out an “I’ll be back”, and in less than 30 minutes you’ve got your hands full with 5 more bags, packed to the brim with even more snacks.
With Togame, it takes just a little bit longer for him to warm up to you. Not that he doesn’t already like you – it’s just that he’s, well, a bit more reserved and a bit more quiet and observing (a lot more quiet if we’re comparing him to Tomiyama).
It’s when, during a fleeting conversation, he mentions that he plays Go with the elderly men at the public bath – and he watches you perk up at his words. Immediately, you’re asking if it would be alright to play with him sometime, and while he’s hesitant, he ultimately says yes at the sight of your bright eyes and wide smile.
He admits that he thinks you’re just bluffing, until you actually plan a day to play, and now you’ve got him thinking that maybe you’re good? Maybe, you’re a secret Go prodigy or something? Maybe you’ve got a secret or two up your sleeve and –
He wipes the floor with you. Absolutely demolishes you. But you’re happy about it, laughing at the result, and he’s confused because you didn’t win? Did you … did you know how board games work?
You’re quick to tell him that you enjoyed it because you got to spend time with him, got to know who he is as a person because of how he played.
You leave him standing on the street, a bottle of Ramune long forgotten in his hand (his prize for winning) and his mouth open in surprise.
And when you notice he’s not next to you anymore, you turn around with a smile on your face as you ask, “Don’t you feel that you know me a little bit better too?”
Yeah, they were glad that you got to see them as they were now, with hopes and dreams and emotions. They don’t dwell on the idea of you meeting them before then – they don’t want to. Because if they thought about it too long, they’d have their answer.
You deserved to be happy and healthy and protected. You, who filled a hole in Shishitoren that they didn’t even know existed.
And now you were an irreplaceable part of their lives, so precious and so important that they began to understand Bofurin. They had you – someone that they would do anything in their power to protect – to keep safe from harm.
You were Shishitoren’s Princess.
After that, Tomiyama and Togame were stuck to you like glue. Always thinking about you, always concerned, always wondering where you were.
You’re running late and they haven’t got a text letting them know why? They’re out on the streets, danger flashing in their eyes and prepared for the worst. However, when they see that you’ve been distracted by a stray cat on the road, all they do is let out a laugh and join your side.
They hear you sniffling and see that your eyes are shining with tears? They’re immediately on you, asking who did this to you, with a promise to make them pay for it tenfold. “You can’t really beat up allergies,” you laugh, before sneezing into a tissue. Immediately, the Shishitoren boys are rounded up, their eyes focused and determined – to get you allergy medicine.
You were everything good in the world, bottled up into someone who could make even the rainiest days seem a bit more brighter and the hardest challenges a bit more bearable – and they didn’t want anyone infringing on their happiness.
So when Hayato Suo, from Bofurin, comes across you one fateful day – they’re absolutely livid.
You hadn’t meant to cross over to their territory – truly. It’s just that Togame had mentioned that his favorite Ramune flavor had been out since last night, and Tomiyama had been going on and on about this new snack that just wasn’t available at the usual corner store that you guys frequented, so you found yourself with a mission on your mind and your wallet in your hand.
And honestly, you loved them, you did, but the way that they treated you like a delicate little flower sometimes felt a bit too stuffy.
What? Did they think you just patched people up for fun? That you knew how to medically treat someone just short of a nurse because it was your hobby?
You’re too absorbed in your thoughts to realize where the directions on your phone are taking you until you’ve already passed the train crossing border that connects Bofurin’s and Shishitoren’s territory. You’re spit out onto a street that you’ve never seen before, but you shrug it off.
When you find the corner store, you make quick work of your shopping list, even grabbing some items for yourself, before you’re out the door.
It’s when you’ve barely taken a few steps down the street that you feel it – the staring on the back of your head.
While you were in the store, you’d felt their eyes on you, but you’d ignored it, hoping that it was just a fleeting moment of curiosity. Now, you see that it was the eyes of a predator stalking their prey.
You pause, before quickly taking out your phone and sending a quick text to Togame and Tomiyama – they just need one small clue and they can fill in the rest – so you send your location.
And when you finally turn to face your stalker, you snap a photo of their face. For insurance, you assure yourself. Just in case.
He’s taller than you, with a smirk on his face and his hands in his pockets. You feel uneasy at his presence, and you look up and down the street to see that no one’s around.
Damnit damnit damnit.
“You’re really pretty, totally my type. Could I get your contact information?” he’s asking, but the tone that he’s saying it in doesn’t leave any room for objection.
“No,” you reply, simple and straight to the point. Then, you stay standing there, and you wait.
“Never turn your back on an enemy.”
Togame had said this briefly, once, while the both of you were watching everyone spar.
When the man takes a step forward, you take one back, maintaining the distance between you and him.
“Oh come on – it’s just your number. Don’t make this such a big deal.”
He’s holding himself back and you can see it. You can see the way his hands are twitching by his sides now and the way his breathing is starting to speed up.
“Always keep an eye on your opponent~! You wouldn’t wanna miss anything!”
Tomiyama’s words run through your mind next, and you will yourself to maintain your facade.
You’re starting to get just the slightest bit worried now, though. It really shouldn’t be too much longer, you think. Any minute now.
But a minute passes by, Togame and Choji aren’t here, and the guy’s got his hand wrapped around your wrist so tightly that it’s starting to throb.
“Please – leave me alone!” you yell out, but it’s going through one ear and out the other. He’s smiling down, dark and sinister, and it’s then that you remember something so crucial that you can’t believe you forgot it.
“Kick them, um, down there. It’ll hurt, a lot. But that’s a last resort type of move, alright princess?”
Those self-defense lessons are paying off, Togame.
You make a mental note to thank him when he gets here.
You kick the man, hard, and when he releases your arm you step back as fast as you can, but –
The plastic bag you had once held in your hand, now filled with the sloshing liquid and the broken glass of Togame’s Ramune bottle, causes you to slip.
Your hands shoot out and you close your eyes in anticipation of the fall that never comes because strong, warm arms are holding you up.
You let out a sigh of relief – finally. You’re brought to stand, but before those hands can leave your body, you’re swiftly grabbing them to wrap around your waist and leaning your head on their chest.
“Geez, took you guys long enough –”
The sight of a black jacket cuts you off. Black, with green embroidery.
You quickly push yourself off, eyes wide and cheeks red because you had just initiated a very intimate hug with someone who was a complete stranger.
“I-I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh – I thought you were someone else!” you blurt out, hands covering your mouth – and he looks as caught off guard as you are.
His eye is wide, mouth open just the tiniest bit, and – he’s cute.
“Wow, I don’t get thanked like that too often,” he smiles, and you’re mortified at his playful reaction.
“I –,” You open your mouth to apologize again, but he’s got a hand on your shoulder, quickly cutting you off.
You look up at him, and the smile’s still there, but it’s different now – it’s frightening.
“Would you mind stepping to the side for me? It seems some people just don’t know when to quit.”
You hear shuffling behind you, and you’re quickly brought back to the situation at hand. Nodding, you get out of his way, and it’s as soon as you step past him that you hear a sickening thud and a groan of pain.
When you turn, you’re relieved to see that the man who’d been harassing you is on the ground, and if you were to guess, probably out cold.
“Wow… You made quick work of him,” you don’t try to hide the awe in your voice and Suo finds it both endearing and concerning that you’re praising him.
Concerning mainly because, well, you don’t seem to be the type to leisurely enjoy street fights.
And now you’re right in front of him, inspecting his face and body to make sure there aren’t any cuts that need to be treated or any injuries that need tending.
It’s second nature at this point — ingrained in your body and soul.
Cute, he thinks, very cute that she thinks he touched me.
“Do you see anything wrong, love?” he jests, enjoying the way you’re so diligently scanning him from head to toe.
“No, I don’t think—”
You are, once again, mortified by his teasing. No one at Shishitoren spoke to you like this, and sure they called you Princess, but to you, it held the same value as sister or friend.
“S-sorry, force of habit… ah, thank you for saving me! I sent my friends a message but —”
You’re cut off by the sounds of two distinct voices yelling "Princess", and Suo’s quick to prepare himself for another fight.
However, when he sees Togame and Tomiyama run around the corner with panic in their eyes and desperation in their voices, he’s just confused.
And when they spot the two of you, with an unconscious body on the ground, it gets even more confusing. Because why are they walking over here and why do they have scowls on their face and —
“Princess, what were you thinking?”
Tomiyama and Togame are all over you, Togame’s hand gently grasping your chin to move your face from side to side, and Tomiyama’s got his hand on your wrist, softly thumbing at the bruised skin.
“I’m okay, I’m okay.”
Suo’s observing all of this, and he’s trying to rack his brain for any information about you. God, he really wished Nirei was here right now.
He’s never heard that name before or seen your face, so this must be a recent development. But with the way they’re fretting over you, you’d think that you’d all been childhood friends or something because the way that they’re worrying over you is definitely not normal.
You try to push their hands away from you, embarrassed that you have an audience, but they don’t let up so all you’re able to do is grumble and huff as they inspect you from head to toe.
“... He hurt you,” Tomiyama whispers, and you grab his wrist before he starts stalking toward the body on the floor.
“It’s okay um – oh, I don’t know your name, but he helped me out! Everything’s fine – really! Please, let’s calm down,” you plead, and all it takes is one look at your anxious face for the both of them to ease up.
Now, Suo really wants to understand.
“Suo … thanks for protecting her. This idiot didn’t tell us she was crossing over into your territory. It’s our fault, sorry,” Togame explains, one hand scratching the back of his neck and the other draped over your shoulders.
Suo takes a moment to respond. Who would he be, after all, if not an instigator?
Because — who were you? You – who could turn the Shishitoren leader and his second in command into mere puppies with your sweet voice. You — who had them running like their lives depended on it.
“Ah, I’d save a sweet girl like her any day,” Suo says, testing the waters, and he gets the exact reaction he was hoping for.
Togame and Tomiyama stiffen up beside you, as you gasp in surprise at his words.
And suddenly, there’s a shift in the air – and it’s deadly.
You sense it, of course, because who wouldn’t be able to feel the heightened electricity and the low hum of buzzing coming from Togame’s and Tomiyama’s chests?
And you, ever the de-escalating expert, quickly blurt out, “Ah, wait! I need to go back to the store! Give me like 5 minutes!”
Before they can get a “no” out, you’re already out of their grasp and beelining it for the convenience store.
It’s silent for a moment, with just Suo, Tomiyama, and Togame looking at one another.
Finally, Togame breaks the silence.
“Look, Sakura’s a friend –”
“And Ume-chan too!” Tomiyama chimes in.
“ – and I hope we’re not stepping on your toes here but don’t get any ideas.”
Suo knows he should stop. He should probably apologize, and let them know it’s not what they think. That they’ve got it all wrong. But … he really can’t help it – not with the way that they’re hissing at him like cats. It’s adorable – and you’re adorable.
He was never really good with holding back his tongue, anyway.
“I think she can make her own decisions, don’t you?”
Togame and Tomiyama do not take kindly to his words, and so it begins – a passive-aggressive verbal war.
“Ha, right. It’s been fun, eye-patch-kun, but we really oughta take her back home. You know, so that we can patch her up,” Togame says, and though there's a smile on his face, Suo understands the underlying message behind his words.
She got hurt in your territory, under your patrol.
Suo smiles back at him.
“Ah, sorry! I wasn’t quick enough to save her, but I’m glad I was able to sort this out before things got out of hand,” Suo replies.
All you guys do is blow things up out of proportion – with violence.
“If we’d been here, she wouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place.”
“Hm. But you probably would’ve gone overboard.”
“Watch it –”
“Ah, sorry!”
It’s when Tomiyama finally opens his mouth that Suo realizes he’s been uncharacteristically quiet, and when they make eye contact, Suo’s smile deepens – because Tomiyama looked like he was ready to maul Suo into pieces, like a true Lion.
“Ume-chan and Furin are our friends,” he says, eyes darkening with every word, “but she’s our family – I think it’s best if you stand down.”
It’s at that moment that you come racing back towards them, your hands full of goodies and a grin on your face as you exclaim, “I got it! I got it!”
You hand Togame his Ramune, Tomiyama his snack, and … you hand Suo bottled tea.
“Sorry, um, I wasn’t too sure what you liked – but this is my favorite drink! Ah, um, if you don’t like it … Suo … I won’t be hurt. But you strike me as a tea lover so –”
You’re bouncing on the balls of your feet, hands wringing behind your back as you ramble and Suo can’t help the sweet smile and the small laugh that escapes his lips before thanking you.
And as soon as he’s done, you’re being whisked away back to your territory – back to your home.
As you walk through the passing, with Tomiyama’s arm intertwined with yours and Togame’s arm draped over your shoulders, you briefly turn around, just to catch one more glance of Suo.
He’s standing there, smiling as he raises his hand to wave at you. You smile back at him with a glossy look in your eyes before Togame softly flicks your forehead.
Your attention is on Togame now, pouty and dejected, before turning your head indignantly as you begin to lecture him about how you’re supposed to thank someone when they help you, and that it’s the nice thing to do.
In the heat of your lecture, you miss the way that Tomiyama and Togame also turn back to look at Suo.
In the darkness of the tunnel, Suo swears he can see their eyes glinting, and his smile only deepens.
Their eyes, daring and territorial, only say one thing.
Ours. Ours. Ours.
He had to admit, he wasn’t expecting this turn of events but he was intrigued now.
And, it’s only after the three of you disappear that he realizes he never learned your name – your real name.
So, when he volunteers to take over the patrol where the Furin territory ends and the Shishitoren territory starts, who can blame him?
What Suo doesn’t know, though, is that after this little incident, you’re permanently banned from walking alone ever again.
(Of course, you’re not actually banned. But, you are given a scolding afterward – which, in your eyes, is rich coming from Togame and Tomiyama, but sure, whatever.)
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
The next time Suo sees you, it’s when he least expects it.
You’re in Bofurin territory, with a small first-aid kit on your lap as you tend to the child in front of you. You’re smiling at the sniffling little boy as you wrap some gauze around his ankle, your fingers adept and swift, as if you’d done this countless times before.
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it? You’re so strong!”
You ask him how it feels, and the little boy beams up at you, the tears in his eyes long gone and instead replaced with immense gratitude.
You smile down at him, playfully scolding him to be more careful as you pat his head softly.
And then Suo sees you hand him a lollipop — a lollipop — and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.
So, really, can you blame him for sneaking up behind you and whispering into your ear?
“What brings you to Bofurin territory, princess?”
You yelp in surprise, before turning around so fast that Suo worries if you gave yourself whiplash.
Once your blush has gone down and the surprise of seeing him wears off, you explain that you’re here to get some bread for Tomiyama from the Cactus bakery.
He’d been saying that he wanted fresh bread, but there weren’t any in Shishitoren that you knew of. And as soon as he mentioned the Cactus’s Anpan over on Bofurin's side of the tunnel, well, who could blame you for taking that opportunity to not only do something for him but also for yourself?
Which, of course, was to hopefully run into Suo.
“He sent you all the way over here to pick up bread for him?”
“Hm? No, of course not. This is a surprise for him!”
“I see – I was wondering why you didn’t have your guard dogs around…”
“My guard dogs?”
“Oh!” you laugh and Suo thinks it’s the most pleasant sound he’s heard in his life.
“You mean Tomiyama and Togame? No, they don’t know I’m here. It wouldn’t really be a surprise if they knew, right?”
Suo’s starting to see it now – why they care for you so much. But he wants to know more, so he asks about the kid you were tending to.
“Ah — I saw him playing with some kids and he took a nasty fall. I didn’t think it was right to let him go home without care, so I patched him up. I hope that’s okay?”
Suo finds that he really likes talking to you. He likes how expressive you are, how kind you are, and how thoughtful you are. And he finally learns your name. He likes that about you too – it’s cute.
So, naturally, he offers to escort you to Cactus – purely just to keep an eye on you, he convinces himself.
And when he escorts you back to the border, all your goodies in one hand and his arm in the other, well –
He doesn’t care enough to find justification for his actions. He just really liked you – plain and simple.
When you let go of his arm, he’s already grieving the feeling of your body pressed to his side.
You were warm, soft, and he’s sure that if he ever got the chance to taste your lips, sweet.
“Let’s exchange contact information! That way, you can be my guard dog when I’m here,” you say as you pull out your phone, and Suo’s so so glad that he ran into you today.
When he adds your contact to his phone, he puts you down as Princess.
When you add his contact to yours, you put him down as Guard Dog.
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
After that, you and Suo try to meet up. But… well…
You don’t see the point in trying to hide it. You were, after all, your own person. You could think for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and speak up for yourself. You were so open to loving and the Shishitoren boys knew this – so why should you hide it?
And when you had something on your mind, you were determined to make it happen. So, you don’t see why it would be any different with Suo. You had met him twice now, and you wanted to keep seeing him. To keep talking to him. To maybe even date him.
But to Shishitoren, this was equivalent to losing you – and they could never let that happen.
So Shishitoren never lets you see him – and it’s not like they’re barricading you inside the Ori or blocking the entrance to the border (though, they’ll admit that the thoughts crossed their mind in one way or the other).
No. They do it in a way that they know will make you stay with them – by acting like big babies.
The first to fall was Arima –
You’re about to leave to meet up with Suo when Arima runs into the Ori, cries of pain leaving his lips as he whines at how much it hurts. You drop your bag immediately, texting Suo a panicked text about how something came up and that you’re sorry but you’ve gotta cancel today.
You have Arima sit down, all your supplies laid out next to you as you ask him what happened and –
It’s a paper cut.
But he’s babbling about how deep it is and how much it stings and it takes forever to just disinfect it and wrap a bandage around it before you realize that half the day’s just flew by for a minor injury.
Second was Kanuma – when he got a bad haircut.
Third was Sako – when he suddenly, out of nowhere, began asking you for advice about how you would approach someone who you used to look up to but lost respect for, who you vowed to fight and win against, only to lose against them and have them apologize to you (you, obviously, struggled with what advice you could even give him).
Fourth was Tomiyama – when he lost his favorite pair of sneakers.
Fifth was Togame – when he lost an eating challenge for the first time.
“It’s for the good of Shishitoren,” they say as they prepare the next victim.
Eventually, you find yourself tending to almost all of Shishitoren’s wounds, whether physical or emotional, and you just can’t believe that they’re fighting against you and Suo so hard.
But, in between all of that, you and Suo still manage to sneak in hushed phone calls and sweet texts.
Always asking about how the other’s doing, always talking about how your day went. He looks forward to it, he realizes, laying in bed as he hears you start to slur the ends of your words, drifting off into sleep.
And you send him photos all the time – it could be of a cat you came across while on the way to the Ori, or a drink that you tried that you liked – and with each text, with each phone call, Suo finds himself becoming smitten with you.
You, who would remind him to drink water and to at least eat something small to get through the day. You, who had perfect memory and would follow up with the things that he’d talked about days ago, just because you were interested and curious (he’d mentioned that there was a tea spot that he frequented in Makochi, and it only took a day or two later for you to bring it up again, this time with all sorts of questions and comments like “I looked at what they serve! Which one’s your favorite?” and “I’d love to go there with you sometime, Suo – if I ever get the chance”. He’d only said the name of this tea shop once, but you remembered).
And sweet, kind, loving you – who seemed to know whenever he had a particularly tough day. You were so attentive to him, which was surprising because all your interactions were never in person, but it seemed that you could understand his mood just based on the extra second it took for him to answer the phone or the way he responded to your text. And the thing was that Suo was great at masking his emotions – an expert, even. But you, who could just sense these things about other people, were giving him the chance to open up if he so chose to. You never pressed, never battered him for an answer. Just a simple – “I feel like there’s something on your mind, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay! Just know that if you ever need a shoulder to lean on, I’ll be there for you Suo.”
And, above all, you never stop trying. You never stop trying to escape the clutches of Shishitoren to see him – though you apologize every time your plans get thwarted as if you both weren’t expecting the same outcome.
But Suo doesn’t see you again, for months – not until a huge fight breaks out, and you’re honestly the last one he expects to see rushing onto the aftermath of the battlefield with a backpack filled to the brim with medical supplies and a determined look on your face.
They didn’t know Shishitoren was going to get involved and fight alongside them, didn’t know that the aftermath was going to be this bad. But if Suo had known that you’d be running to meet everyone afterwards, well –
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
He sees you a mile away, and he’s so relieved that you’re not hurt. That you’re up and moving. That you’re here. But he’s also surprised and caught off guard because – why were you here?
It’s then that he sees your bag, sees the way that you’ve got your hair up and out of your face, and the way that you’re scanning everyone up and down so fast that your eyes never stop moving.
My little nurse, Suo thinks, rushing to the injured like the sweet princess she is.
Little did you know that as he was fighting, there were only 3 things revolving through his mind – Bofurin, Makochi, and you. He fought to protect those 3 things that were so very dear to his heart, and to be greeted with the sight of you after winning? Well, it couldn’t be anything less but a sign of his hard work. A reward, if you will.
He sees you run up to Umemiya, serious and purposeful, as you open your mouth and wait for a response. Umemiya, though very confused, gives you an answer that you seem satisfied with because you nod, then thank him, and now you’re running towards Suo, and you make eye contact, and he can’t wait for you to dote after him and take care of him and –
You smile at him, scan his body, nod – and walk right past him. You never stopped for him, actually. You just kept moving. Just kept walking.
And Suo just watches – he watches as you make your way over to where Shishitoren is laid out, watches as they all let out a sigh of relief when they see you safe and unharmed, watches as they start talking animatedly to you as you start setting up for aid.
And you’re standing there with a pained look in your eyes as you nod at their words halfheartedly, more focused on the injuries that they’re sporting on their bodies than the words coming out of their mouths. You’re going from person to person as fast as you can, and although Suo can’t hear you, he can read your lips as you tell every single person – “I’m here now. It’s okay. Thank you for fighting. I’ll take care of you.”
He watches as you get to Tomiyama and Togame, and sees the way your eyes start to water as they pat your head and tell you that they’re fine – even though you have eyes, you can see how hard they’ve fought. Instead, they’re fondly thanking you for coming all this way just to take care of them.
And suddenly, everything got a bit too real for Suo. A bit too scary.
Because he didn’t realize how hard he’d fallen for you, in between those two fateful meetings, the constant late-night phone calls, and the never-ending texts.
It hits Suo like a train. He wanted to be the one that you search for in the crowd. He wanted to be the one that you’re fussing over. He wanted you to patch him up. He wanted you.
He was in love with you.
And he shuts down – completely.
He goes silent, uncharacteristically so, to the point that Sakura and Nirei are starting to get worried.
“What’s wrong, Suo-san?”
“Suo, what’s the matter with you?”
It goes through one ear and out the other – no response, no indication that he’s even present at the moment.
It’s when you’re patching up the last member of Shishitoren that you feel the heat of an eye on you – and your body reacts before your mind can.
Suo’s name is the only thing running through your mind as you finish up as fast as you can – and you’re off.
You’re making your way to where all of Bofurin is sitting, just barely slipping out of the grasps of the Shishitoren boys.
It’s Togame, with his long limbs, who reaches out and puts a hand on your shoulder and it’s Tomiyama, with his fast reflexes, who has your hand in his.
“Princess, no–”
“Let me find Suo.”
“But you don’t even –”
“Choji, Jo – let me go.”
They hesitate. You’d never spoken to them like this before. Never used their first names before. Never been so cold before.
But they weren’t fools. Even if you tried to hide it, they’d seen the way you sneaked off to talk to him or the way you thought you were hiding your phone when you were responding to him. Anytime they’d bring something up that had even an inkling to do with Suo, you were excitedly adding in your input – all while stumbling over your words as you tried to be mysterious.
(They’d done a test, actually. All they did was bring up the word tea and you were fighting for your life as you kept accidentally saying Suo’s name when talking about your friend.
“Ah, Su– AH, I mean, my friend really likes this type of tea.”
“Oh! That’s S– my friend's favorite place in Makochi!”
They didn’t have the heart to tell you because, well – you really sucked at lying.)
And they realize, with heavy hearts, that you were never theirs to lock up in the Ori. You were so kind, so lovable, so sweet, because that’s just who you are as a person.
You were protected, sure, and healthy, sure, but you weren’t happy.
You, who were the embodiment of everything that Shishitoren was working to protect, had made a choice and they weren’t respecting it the way that you respected them – and they were being, well, selfish.
And when they finally let you go, you sigh in relief. Making your way over to where Suo’s sitting, you yell out over your shoulder, with so much spite, so much anger, and so much love –
“You act like I’m never coming back – stop whining like puppies!”
Togame’s and Tomiyama’s eyes widen in shock before they both laugh lightly at your words in disbelief.
You really knew how to scold them.
“... she’s talking about you.”
“... nah, she’s definitely talking about you.”
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
When you made your way over to Suo, you were met with guarded and curious stares from all of Bofurin. Too focused and too determined, you brush it off. You knew about the fight that they had with Shishitoren, sure, but you thought that they had patched everything up? And Shishitoren had fought with them for this big battle, so why the curiosity?
If only you knew the real reason everyone was staring at you.
Instead, you find yourself running past all of them with Suo’s name falling from your lips, and when you see him, he doesn’t respond.
You pause, dejected, before repeating his name.
No response.
Now you’re worried – and scared.
You recognize Sakura and Nirei, based on how Suo had described them briefly, and you immediately begin asking them what happened.
“Sakura, Nirei – is Suo okay? Did he get hurt? Does he need first aid?”
You’re met with silence – and shock.
“H-huh? Do we know you?”
“U-umm – sorry, have we met before?”
You pause at their response, looking at them confused.
You blink once, then twice, then three times – before glancing at Suo.
Unresponsive and unperturbed.
You introduce yourself slowly, giving Sakura and Nirei the chance to remember you – because they must’ve heard your name at least once, right?
They hadn’t.
And now you’re standing there with hundreds of eyes on you, as you come to terms with the fact that maybe … maybe you’d been wrong this whole time.
You clear your throat before timidly asking a question that you fear you already know the answer to.
“Did he um… did he not tell you about me? Uh… about us?”
And suddenly – everything goes to shit.
Shishitoren rises up in arms, walking over to where you are because why did you look so confused and why was Suo ignoring their beloved princess –
All of Bofurin is staring at you with their mouths wide open, processing the words you’ve just said –
Sakura’s spluttering, desperately trying to form words as he continues to just point back and forth from you to Suo with shaky hands –
Nirei’s got his notebook in his hand, flipping through it like a madman because how could he miss something like this, and had Suo ever talked about you? –
Suo’s unresponsive, still –
And then, to top it all off, Kiryu gasps because he’s finally solved it. He’d seen a text on Suo’s phone, so brief and so quick, but he was sure that the person Suo was texting was –
“Oh! You’re the one he’s been texting! You’re Princess!”
At Kiryu’s words, you snap.
And no one, not even Togame and Tomiyama, had ever seen you this angry, this upset, this livid.
You weren’t expecting him to go around screaming your name all over Makochi, but what you did expect was at the very least maybe his friends to know. Was that so absurd? You never tried to hide your feelings for Suo from Shishitoren (They tried so hard to stop it) so why wasn’t it reciprocated? Did he not feel the same way? Had you looked too deep into his actions and created a fantasy in your mind? Did you not really know him as well as you thought?
Or worse – had he been toying with you?
Oh, you were pissed – and poor Suo didn’t have a clue.
You go to stand in front of him, eerily calm and sickeningly sweet as you call his name one more time.
“Hayato Suo.”
Now that – that brings him back to his senses. You watch him blink in succession as he grounds himself, before his eye darts to you, to Furin, to Shishitoren – and he quickly puts the pieces together before letting out a stiff laugh.
“Ah – I was hoping to introduce you properly to everyon–”
“Am I a joke to you, Hayato?”
Suo freezes at your words.
How could you, who had unknowingly wormed your way into his heavily guarded heart, be a joke?
But he realizes now – and he feels, for one of the few times in his life, stupid.
Because you love with your heart on your sleeve, and Suo loves with his heart tucked away.
And really, Suo should’ve known, because you’re you — you who gave Shishitoren something to protect and to hold close to their hearts, safe from danger and harm’s way.
You press on, fighting through the anger and the embarrassment and the fear you feel rising inside of you.
“Tell me Hayato, answer me. Was I? Hm? Did you have fun?”
“No, I –”
“Every call, every text – did that mean nothing to you? Was I just being delusional?”
“Wait I –”
You’re so close to him now, softly jabbing your finger into his chest as your words begin to get more and more shaky.
“Do you feel powerful, Hayato? Making a Shishitoren girl fall in love with you–”
You stop yourself, teary-eyed and vulnerable, and you feel so stupid. Because what hurts more than anything is giving someone all your love, all your time, all your energy – all for it to have been for nothing. You thought he felt the same, truly. But now? All you wanted was to walk away from all of this, walk away from Bofurin, and never ever look back.
He grabs your hand, desperately, as your words sink in. He wants to – no, needs to make sure that he’s not just hearing things. That he’s not just imagining it.
“You … love me?”
You pause, taking the chance to actually look at him. You see hope on his face, and you furrow your eyebrows in response.
“... is this another joke? Of course, I love you, you idiot. You would’ve been the first one I ran to but your leader said you guys were all patched up already so I –”
Everyone’s eyes turn to Umemiya, who shrivels under the attention and wordlessly mouths an “I didn’t know!”
But your eyes are only on Suo’s, and Suo’s is only on yours.
And Suo lets you see him, truly see him, for who he is. He doesn’t shy away from your stare, doesn't put on a mask, doesn’t push his feelings into the box that’s been his safe haven for so many years.
Your eyes flicker with uncertainty and fear, but you convince yourself to try one more time. Just one last time.
“Hayato Suo, I really do love you,” you whisper, so slowly, so hesitantly, so scared.
Then, with everyone’s eyes on the both of you, Suo slides one hand to the small of your back, and the other to cradle your face.
He wanted to learn how to love with his heart on his sleeve – just like you.
“… again.”
“… I lov—”
His lips cut you off, and honestly, you’re not even mad. Not when he’s pulling you flush to his body, his hand slipping to the back of your neck, and your fingers grasping at the collar of his jacket.
Black, with green embroidery.
“I love you, too – but I’m afraid there’s too many eyes here for me to show you how deeply I feel for you, Princess – I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Dazed, all you can manage is a soft nod and a flutter of your eyelashes before pulling his lips back to yours.
Suo smiles into the kiss. He was right, you were as sweet as he thought you’d be.
#melody answers (& loves it)#melody writes (& never stops)#hayato suo x reader#suo hayato x reader#wind breaker x reader#windbreaker x reader#wind breaker (satoru nii)#hayato suo#suo hayato#wind breaker
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hi ! saw this idea here on tumblr . . sending nudes in the middle of argument 😁 what will it be on riize 🤠🤠
sending riize a nude mid argument
warnings. suggestive







#✧ melody answers#✧ anon#✧ hard hours ✧#riize smut#shotaro smut#eunseok smut#sungchan smut#sohee smut#seunghan smut#wonbin smut#anton smut#riize fake texts
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need more of your ariel and eric with their daughter melody art im obsessed!!!!!!
*slams these down on the table in front of you* BAM
#I have a lot of parent adjacent inspo and poses in my pinterest folders#now onto the motherdaughter ones >:)#I should also draw some adult melody ones too#the little mermaid#little mermaid#the little mermaid 2#asked and answered#the little mermaid 2: return to the sea#melody#eric#prince eric#princess melody#disney#disney princess#fanart#digital art#fatherhood#parenthood#cute#sweet#wholesome#princess#prince#royalty
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You can't fall in love just by a pictur-

😩🩷✨️
NO BECAUSE YOURE SO REAL
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fave ariel and eric scenes from the og film and return from the sea????
Well!
#1 Introductions
I don’t know if this counts but I’m counting it. The first scene Eric is introduced in mirrors the first scene Ariel is introduced in. Goes like this:
The camera pans and zooms in around the sails and mast of the ship to show Prince Eric, gazing out at the sea excitedly / The camera shows the shot of the tattered sails and mast of a sunken ship and Ariel pops into view, gazing at another shipwreck, also excitedly. They’re both looking out at a world they can’t be fully part of.
Eric asks his friend (Grimsby) “isn’t this great?” about the thing he loves, which is the sea / Ariel asks her friend (Flounder) “isn’t it fantastic?” about the thing she loves, which is the sunken ship. They’re both seeing the thing they love positively.
Eric’s companion (Grimsby) responds sarcastically “oh yes, delightful” and clearly isn’t enjoying himself, throwing up over the side of the ship / Ariel’s companion (Flounder) responds sarcastically “yeah, it’s great…can we go now?” and clearly isn’t enjoying himself. They both don’t have anybody, even the people closest to them, who can share their love.
Which goes right into my second:
#2 Ariel Sees Eric
It’s important how Ariel sees Eric in the scene where she’s at the boat and it’s his birthday. I know it’s cute, the way she looks at him, smitten, and romantic, the way she saves his life. But that’s not the part I mean.
I mean they specifically, in the script, wrote it so that Eric mentions, “the right girl is out there somewhere, I just haven’t found her yet.” and THEN the shot focuses on Ariel’s face. It’s not just because the narrators are saying, “she’s the right girl, he doesn’t realize it yet!” it’s because they’re very simply reminding you that Ariel is hearing all this. She heard the conversation between Grimsby and Eric about a Dream Girl.
The point here is that she learns exactly how much Eric is like her, and exactly how much he’s different, too, and it all adds up to be the perfect introduction to humans, for Ariel.
Because she’s been wrestling with a community who doesn’t believe in the way she sees her Dream for her whole life. She believes the Surface must have good in it, and has faith in the evidence she’s seen. They believe that’s ridiculous, there’s no good from the Surface, they believe her faith is vain.
Eric also has a Dream. He’s got faith in it. Ariel gets to see that. And she gets to see that, just like her, his community doesn’t believe in it. They don’t believe in his Dream Girl. BUT. Where Ariel has to sneak around and hide evidence that she’s still believing in her Dream, where she has to shut up about it when her father yells at her, Eric is not under the same restraints. He laughs it off when Grimsby doesn’t believe in his Dream. Can you picture Ariel laughing off her father’s fury about the Surface? No.
So she gets to see that 1) He’s just like her but 2) he’s more free than her. He can be the idealized hero in her mind—the guy who isn’t giving up on his Dream, and is a champion of faith, and is in some way succeeding where she has to sneak and sob.
It’s wonderful for her to learn that a human can be like this, so like her, but so much more hopeful, plus, he’s a handsome, heroic human. Also she gets to watch him risk his life for a dog (her dad said humans were barbaric and spineless) and humbly shrug off a way-too-extravagant statue of himself (even though he’s a prince.)
It’s just perfect.
Eric is introduced to her as a guy who makes his own decisions, isn’t bossed around by his advisors or escorts, but doesn’t resent or grow bitter toward them, either. He remains easygoing, secure in who he is and what he believes, without having to trample all over the people closest to him who disagree. He’s got great heart and character.
Whereas in the Live Action they stripped him of that subtle, realistic, down-to-earth value and gave it to Ariel by having her be the only one to defy people who disagree with her. By having Eric have an overbearing mother he kowtows to, that makes him her mirror in every way, except with no strength of his own and less of an enticing example of the freedoms of a different world for her to fall in love with. They make him blander, weaker, and less important, but they do it subtly and with chest hair, scruff, drippy “I love you even with your tail” hugging (which was fine but hardly necessary or any kind of improvement because he proved that he loved her tail-and-all in the original just fine by sacrificing himself to save her) and a British accent so that everybody wouldn’t notice.
Anyway.
#3 Eric Saves Ariel
They cut this in the remake, and in my understanding, in the Broadway, too, for no apparent reason and to the great detriment of the original movie which did it right the first time, but my third-favorite scene is Eric fighting Ursula to save Ariel.
Eric immediately expresses concern when Ursula drags Ariel, just revealed to be a mermaid, over the side of the ship. Tail and all. And immediately goes to save her single-handedly, even though, again, the people around him have no interest in helping or following him or fighting for his Dream.
Which is so interesting. He’s their Prince. They’re the closest people to him, invited to his wedding, on this boat. But nobody’s following him or trying to harpoon the sea monster that just dragged his Dream Girl over the side of the boat. But does that stop him? No! And the writers specifically wrote in a moment where Grimsby calls out to him from the deck of the ship and Eric insists he’s going, alone, because he won’t lose Ariel again. He jumps in the water with a sea monster. No fins, no gills, one harpoon, because he loves her and has chosen her and he’s not spineless. And then she even tells him to get out of there, but he refuses to leave her. And even when it basically means certain death (intentionally wrecking the ship HE IS ON by driving it into a demented Kraken-woman) he keeps fighting.
And he does it, by the way, by driving a shipwreck, which is the thematic thing bridging the gap between his world and Ariel’s. He’s standing on a shipwreck when he saves her. Shipwrecks are where she finds human things, and where she learned humans might be worth loving, and a shipwreck is how the human who loves her back saves her.
It’s beautiful. It’s perfect. It’s the right choice, the storytellers initially had a version where Eric wasn’t the one saving the day but Ariel was, and they scrapped that and did this instead because it was better.
And in the Live Action of course they ruined that and made Eric the damsel in distress and made Ariel the floppy fish fighter who steers the shipwreck and saves his life. Which is so lame. Because it also undermines how Triton would’ve learned that Eric was worth loving and Ariel was right to sacrifice for him. Triton needed to see Eric saving Ariel at the cost of his own wellbeing. I’ve said it before, but if Ariel saves Eric, all it proves to Triton is that she can clean up her own mess. Whereas in the original movie, Eric saving Ariel proves Ariel was right about him being loveable despite being a human.
So it’s a good thing the REAL The Little Mermaid made that right choice, because this is an excellent scene.
#4 When Eric Carries Melody
I guess people might like the parts where Eric is comforting Ariel while Melody is lost in the second movie, or when he tells her she’s beautiful in her new dress, but honestly he was very sidelined in this movie. I just like the part where, after the climax, it’s her dad who is carrying her to safety.
#The Little Mermaid#Ariel#Eric#TLM#Disney#realdisney#the real Disney#animation#feature animation#Disney sequels#Glen keane#mark henn#Jodi benson#live action little mermaid#the little mermaid 2023#return to the sea#melody#Ursula#meta#character analysis#writing#asked#answered
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oc x canon is awesome sauce
I’m too scared to do anything lmao-
if you want to do it oc x canon i say DO IT-
MAKE THOSE DREAMS COME TRUE‼️
it might seem kinda scary at first but if it makes you happy then who's anyone to stop you? plus you will eventually find others who share the same interest and appreciate your work 💜
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3, 12, 23 for end of year fanfic asks?
!!!! Thank you!
3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year?
“Drunk driver?”
“Or they don’t want to be seen.” Batman turns on the thermal scanner on his goggles, and finds two people inside. The back of the truck’s refrigerated, so he can’t get a reading. “We need to get closer.”
“You got it.” Ever so graceful, Dick Grayson cuts a shortcut across the stacks of shipping containers, cutting the truck off, but landing on its back so the driver doesn’t see him. He jumps to the cab, peering upside down through the shotgun window. Unfortunately, that’s when the driver swerves to avoid hitting a raccoon.
Spinning off the side, Nightwing grabs the radio antenna for purchase, and that’s when the driver spots him.
“Gnah!!” He honks his horn as if that will help.
“So much for stealth.” Nightwing swings in, boots first, shattering the shotgun window on his way. “Alley-oop!” He winks at the driver. “Hi there. What’ch’ya haulin’?”
“Oh fuck no!” The driver swerves again, but it’s already too late.
“You see, the funny thing about escrima sticks—I can’t shock you with them and grab onto you at the same time. You’re conductive as copper wire.”
“GET OUT OF MY TRUCK.”
“No need to yell.” Nightwing twirls the stick.
This hasn't been posted yet, but it's a scene in my canon-divergent Under The Red Hood fic: Bad Seeds. I think I captured Dick Grayson's banter pretty well in this.
12. Favorite character to write this year?
Zatanna Zatara and Crowley have been fun to write, mostly because I haven't written them before. Always a joy exploring a character's mind for the first time. :)
13. Fics you wanted to write but didn't?
All of them? haha. But recently I had the idea for a fic where Anathema takes Newton home to her family's Yule dinner and shenanigans ensue. Or as of last night, where Sera and my Dalish Mage Inquisitor (named Anathea Lavellan) have a real convo about their religious differences.
end of the year fanfic asks
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Jerk Ford AU: Silliness VI (Family Edition)
17-year-old Shermie: *holding out a lunch pail* Stanford, don’t forget your lunch. I don’t want you to be hungry.
12-year-old Jerk Ford: Whatever, b***h.
12-year-old Stanley: Ford! You can't talk to our brother like that!
Jerk Ford: Sure.
-45 Years Later-
57-year-old Jerk Ford: *holding up a paper bag* Dipper, your lunch. I don’t want you starving.
12-year-old Dipper: Whatever, b***h *flips him off*.
[Directly From This]
-
Jerk Ford: Hey, runt.
Mabel: Yes, Great Uncle Ford?
Jerk Ford: I was reading through the entries and 'corrections' you and your brother oh-so-kindly put into my Journal, and I noticed something.
Mabel: What?
Jerk Ford: You defeated the gnomes?
Mabel: Yup, with a leaf blower!
Jerk Ford: And this whole kerfuffle started because... they wanted you to marry them and be their queen?
Mabel: Oh- uh, yeah. I was disappointed because they weren't secretly a vampire.
Jerk Ford: You don't say...
-Later-
Jerk Ford: Now, what is the age of consent in the state of Oregon?
Jeff, hanging upside down from a tree: *sobbing* Eighteen!
Jerk Ford: And what's the age of consent for anyone with the last names Pines, Corduroy, Ramirez, or McGucket?
Jeff: Infinity!
Jerk Ford: Good, we're at an understanding. However, just in case- *continues to blow on dog whistle*
Jeff: *screeches in anguish*
---
17-year-old Stanley and Jerk Ford sitting in the Stanley Mobile.
Stan: Ford, I know what you're thinking.
Jerk Ford:
Stan: You cannot blow up the state of Jersey.
Jerk Ford: Why not?
Stan: That wouldn't solve nothin'!
Jerk Ford: Yes it would.
Stan: What problem could blowing up New Jersey possibly solve??
Jerk Ford: The existence of Jersey.
(In all seriousness, Jerk Ford would definitely leave with Stanley. They would struggle being homeless in Stan's car for a few weeks or months depending on when they were kicked out, but they both still had scholarships to Backupsmoore so they'd be good once they went to college. Jerk Ford would conduct so many séances around Pines Pawns in the meantime that it would be super haunted forever)
---
Stanford: I was stuck in a dimension where the arm of the galaxy I was in was in the midst of a galactic war. And all of the men - and about a hundred other genders across the different alien species - regardless of age were required to serve in the war. But, there was a loophole.
Anyone who worked at Hooters, in space or terrestrial, was exempted, to improve the morale of the remaining civilian population of women - and about a hundred more genders across the different alien species - the real reason I was in trouble for not putting in my two weeks notice isn't just because it was bad work practice, but it made me a war deserter.
Stan: Please never speak of this again, and don't try it again.
Stanford: I can't anyways, lost too much weight. No 'hooters' to speak of anymore.
Stan: Please, stop talkin'.
Stanford: I made so much money, too.
Stan: Sometimes I wish ya didn't know words.
---
During a Game of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons
Old Man McGucket, the Dungeon Master: You realize what you are facing is a type of ooze - a corrosive monster called a Black Pudding.
Jerk Ford, playing a Bard: Quick, is anyone's character a vegetarian?
Dipper, playing a Ranger: My character lives off of the land, so no.
Soos, playing a Druid: Same here dawg, no.
Wendy, playing a Tabaxi: Heck no.
Mabel, playing a Satyr: Surprisingly, no.
Melody, playing a Warforged: My character doesn't even eat.
Jerk Ford: Da-rn it! A vegetarian would be immune to the Black Pudding.
Old Man McGucket: ...And why do you think that?
Jerk Ford: Don't you know; if you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding?
*collective groaning from the other players*
Old Man Mcgucket:
Old Man Mcgucket: I'm giving you a negative inspiration point.
#Jerk Ford AU#Jerk Ford#more like family and friend#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#stan pines#stanley pines#grunkle stan#mason pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#old man mcgucket#shermie pines#sherman pines#Jerk Ford likes to annoy his brother with stories of his many exploits across the multiverse#fun fact the negative inspiration story was something that actually happened to me while playing dnd once#the DM did not appreciate the joke#Stan told Jerk Ford if he swore around the kids he would beat his ass and Jerk Ford believes him#there's a specific reason Melody is here and chooses to play a warforged#Jerk Ford doesn't necessarily like puns for the sake of being funny he just legit enjoys wordplay and witty dialogue#gravity falls#gravity falls au#dungeons dungeons and more dungeons#dungeons and dragons#dnd#ask#ask answered
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