#mentally not physically though

[hollyhomburg]

The only way I can describe the condition of my brain today is if someone took a chewed up ball of gum, dropped it off of a 30 story building, and then scraped it off of the sidewalk with a fragile toothpick.

[rotteneldritchhorror]

One of my favourite things about being disabled is the excitement and happiness when you can do small things that others might find easy

It’s such simple joy to be able to make yourself a cup of tea for the first time (or the first time in a while!) or to just make a simple meal that you couldn’t before! Finally figuring out how to make something that doesn’t overwhelm you, etc etc

It’s a joy in the mundane that ableds need to learn from sometimes /lh

[ganondoodle]

the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change

i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!

i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies

maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs

[jeeaark]

Dumb Choice V. 1

Greygold could totally take on their team 1-9. Totally. With 8+ summons and carrying a 10-year-supply of inventory items, Greygold IS the BBG babe's love fight don't count because Greyg didn't wanna fight shh

As much as I don't like where this fork-in-the-road went, boy did I have a lot of time to mull over why squid buddy called it quits. And I couldn't pick just one reason ✨

So let's kick it up a notch with the survival theory.

After hearing how certain mindflayers get the instinctual hankering to be a lil shit that sometimes they gotta roll a dice so as to NOT be a lil shit....

What if. Maybe squid buddy's mindset wasn't just being dead stubborn about surviving, but the exhausted-flayer's survival instincts kicked in. Maybe there was poor communication because Emps was in panic mode, wits at an end, fear on overddrive, every doubt collapsing in on itself, stuck-in-a-corner mode, eye-for-an-eye contemplation, fight-or-flight response overriding any other sensible dialogue options that were available for them.

Maybe Emps failed their don't-be-a-lil-shit roll

And since squid buddy didn't uh....want to repeat the fight response like with Ansur, for various reasons, reacted with flight instead

Funny story, I drew this a while back as a 'fun' theoretical possibility, but been realizing more recently ehhhhh-Emps really coulda just killed us all right then and there (not withstanding Halsin and Jaheira). If Emps had the ability to turn off the mind-protection after you stray too far from the mission, then they coulda done the same thing to everyone now. So if Emps really had a "no more use for us" mindset like a certain mindflayer book says they do, fleeing wasn't necessarily the only way for Emps to survive.

Maybe. Emps was about to react in a way they knew they were gonna regret again and eeehh- counter-reacted by noping the fuck out. For Greygold, I like that theory. Squid Buddy: jumping the gun like a dramatic tired mindless-flayer

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[cupophrogs]

I’m pretty sure that Drew and CatNap(Theo) are the same age

As kinda confirmed by one of the Devs on their Discord

Still funny tho that Drew will insult CatNap and everyone

That lanky no muscle over expired Raisin, aka The skeleton hand simp

“There’s no shot he’s my age.”

[melit0n]

I wanted to add on to this ask done by an anon on ST confessions, because they are so right and they made something click in my brain. Do go read it before you read this.

First, off, heavy agree that Fall for Me is designed to be a lonely song, both lyrically, and quite smartly, musically. In every single other song Sleep Token has ever done there is music. There is noise, always. Even in times where there should be silence, there never is any. Instead, it's filled by sounds of birds, a taught guitar chord or chewing and biting.

Fall for Me, however, is utter silence. There's no musical reply. No SFX, no subtle drums or bass; no nothing. It's the one of the few songs (along with Missing Limbs, Take Aim and Drag me Under) in which Vessel directly addresses the love he holds for this person. It's not layered in metaphors, prose and an eloquent vernacular, it's straightforward. While his poetry in other songs is used to draw Them in, decorate his love and entice Them, he's done with getting nothing. He wants to be an equal, a lover, but he gets naught.

The reason why, other than the obvious choice of acapella instead of instruments, the song feels so lonely is because it's the only song- overall- that he doesn't get a response to. Sugar is the response to The Offering, Say That You Will is the response to Take Aim etc., but here? Cold, dead silence. No gesture in tongues, no crushing 'affection'; no nothing.

So, to the rhythm of eternity, he will be on that beach, stumbling, crawling and shouting out the same question that he will never get an answer to; won't you fall for me?

However, even though, unlike most songs that get an answer within their album, Vessel gets one in the next. Take Me Back To Eden, therefore, becomes the answer to that question. As well as Vessel's action against it.

@lifemod17 saw you reblog the ask as well, thought you might like this :]

[3-aem]

its 3am and im going into shock due to lack of drawing satosugu being happy

[andsheoverthinks]

i think the reason white women/white feminists glorify the 'strong independent black woman' trope is because they mistakenly think it's some GNC, anti-patriarchy thing that black women came up with to stick it to the man... we didn't. idk what the men told you. but make no mistake it's not about us being respected leaders but moreso packhorses.

the strong black women trope is very much gender-conforming and hyperfeminine. it may not be pink and ribbons and cute but it is indeed Feminine (Pertaining to Female Stereotypes). the strong black woman is the ultimate 'mother' figure (see the Mammie stereotype). she gives and gives and GIVES, having no feelings of her own. she can be abused and raped and tortured without showing any trauma or shedding a tear. she is whipped to the point of death while in labor. her children are stolen from her at birth. she breastfeeds her mistress's children the milk meant for hers without a complaint.

she is self-sacrificing having no self-love or indeed self-identity. every Black woman tries her best to escape this stereotype in order to maintain her self-identity. this is the stereotype which causes us to die at crazy high rates in childbirth... still think it's empowering? Black women cling to the feminine aesthetic because we hope it will humanize us, earn us a scrap of empathy. we hope people will look at us and see just a woman instead of a black woman. you can laugh all you like at the bright-under-eye dark-lip-liner long-nails IG girls but you don't understand how they got there. 'princess' may be a cage but it's a nicer and better cage than 'mammie.'

women of all races have to escape the programming but it's different for all of us.

why do you think hollywood loves portraying the strong black woman struggle love stereotype so much? do you think holly-WEIRD is down with the cause?

being 'soft' and expecting to be waited on and prioritizing our feelings is GNC for Black women. that's how men behave, after all.

*waves hand* make me a plate.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Birthday Planning

SO! Fun fact. I was kinda running out of ideas.

Then I had THIS idea.

And well. After the last ride? We deserve cuteness don't we? ;)

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

No edits we diving right in! (pppst. @spotaus I got the new installment get in here ;) )

*---------------------*

"Horror! Wait up!"

Horror blinks as he turns back around and searches the crowd. It only takes him a moment to spot the excited bunny monster. He tries to give a smile while he waits for a moment for the other to catch up.

Ellie stops before him panting harshly as she leans against him "Oh god." more pants and weezes.

Horror tilts his skull as he keeps the other steady "Hello Ellie... something wrong?" Maybe she needed help or something?

Ellie manages to pull herself upright again adn smiles brightly "Nothing is wrong! It is just I had something very important to ask you guys and saw you so i sprinted all the way over here."

Horror nods and gives her a look "What did you want to ask?"

Ellie grins widely "When is Nightmare's birthday? Like. No worries! I get that you guys havent been here for quite a year yet and with everything going on especially the whole kidnaping thing. we get you guys want the first birthday to just be you guys but Dani realised we still had some of our better quality cherry jams left over and I got the amazing idea to use those in a birthdya cake but! Well.. you know... gotta know when the birthday is. and we both figured it hadn't happened yet as you guys hadn't mentioned yet... so... When is it? And all you guys birthdays for that matter."

horror needs a moment to process all the information she just dropped on him. When he realised what she was asking he realised a tiny problem.

They all come from different universes and the calanders were not the same.

Worse.

Horror isn't even sure if Nightmare even has a birthday he celebrates. They never celebrated it as the castle.

Horror looks down at the groceries in his arms before looking at Ellie "Is it... okay I give an answer later?"

Ellie frowns before her eyes shoot up to his skull and hole and she cringes and rubs her neck as she looks abcka t his face. sheepish smile on her face "Right... sorry. That... that was a lot at once wasn't it? Just... think about it okay? And you guys got our number!" she takes a few steps backwards, almost bumping into someone before she disappears into the crowd again.

Horror sighs in relievve, crisis averted. Now.

When the fuck are their birthdays in this world anyway?

--

Horror returned home to his datemates and their kid. Horror still feels his soul pulse happily even at just the thought.

They sit together in the nest while their dinner cooks slowly in their oven. It is an old stone oven and Horror loves it. it is sturdy and takes up a lot of space but he love using it.

Killer frowns as he is still staring at his phone "I mean... We can just pick dates and call it a day? It isn't like I was still celebrating my own birthday back in my universe anyway. I only started that up again with you guys in the castle."

Dust hums his agreement and Cross nods too "True! XTale also wasn't big on birthdays unless it were the once which marked important ages. I am down to just pick one and call it."

Nightmare frowns as he looks between them before pushing closer to Dust "Not like it matters. It isn't like i am growing and stuff."

Dust nudges Nightmare's skull with his own and mutters softly "Hey... what did Fauna say?"

Ngihtmare doesn't say anything and just pushes clsoer to Dust.

Dust doesn't look like he is bothered by this at all as he just nudges Nightmare gently again "Come on... what did the nice deer doctor lady say?"

Ngihtmare grumbles but actually answers this time "That I won't grow until i am healed."

Dust nods "exactly. As long as you are healing you won't grow. Which, she told us is a normal response for children to have as their bodies and magic are much more fragile." he bonks their skulls together softly "Which means. You will stay our adorable six year old until you are healed fullly. Including physical, mental and magic health."

Nightmare looks down embarresed and mutters "should be healed by now... I am a god..."

Dust looks unimpressed "You are also a six year old who lived his whole life being abused and hurt and when you finally had the power to defend yourself you had to do an adult god's duty." he nuzzles him "Take your time. We aren't in a hurry and any monster knows what it means if a child isn't growing."

Nightmare relaxes a bit and nods. accepting Dusts words.

Dust looks content as he glances up before looking slightyl embarresed as he tubs his hood closer around his skull "what?"

Horror then realises he is staring and a glacne confirms to are Cros and Killer. Cross looks completely enchanted and Killer is straight up cooing. Yeah no wonder Dust is getting shy. He was the same when the four of them spoke about dating.

Horror smiles at Dust before taking his chance to say something "Well. We better pick a birthday for him." Horror smiles at Nightmare "Or do you have one we don't know about Night?"

Ngihtmare shrugs and mutters "Dream and I were born on the longest day of the year... I don't know which date it was in our universe and when it is in other universes."

Killer groans "Of course it was on the sunniest day of the universe- ugh." Killer shoots Cross a glare but Cross jsut sends him a warning look back.

Horror agrees. Killer would have no doubt said something about either Dream or Nim and neither of them matter. At all. Not when they have a babybones that probably never even had anyone celebrate his birthday.

Dust stays on task as he hums in thought "Well... we could figure out when the longest day is here... and say that is your birthday? usually those fall in summer."

Killer shoots upright "or! We can pick the day when the longest night happens! Go right to the other side of it all!"

Horror watches Dust and Killer debate the options while he watches their tiny charge think. and that is why he sees Nightmare blink and looks up a bit as he no doubt gets an idea. Then the doubt sets in wihtout him saying anyhting.

Horror speaks gently "Did you have an idea?" luckily Killer and Dsut shut up right away.

Nightmare shrugs and mutters "maybe... I thought... you know... I became six again... and you guys picked me up so second chance and stuff... so shouldn't that count as the day? Because it is the day this whole thing started?" he tugs himself clsoer to Dust.

Dust hums as he rubs his spine oh so gently "I think it is a great idea." he glances at Killer "Kills?"

Killer grins as he taps away on his phone "already on it! lets see..."

Horror smiles at Nightmare "I think we all agree it is a great idea."

Nightmare smiles a tiny bit and Horror sees a tine glimps of that confident monster Nightmare had been with his powers. Which is good. This means they are guiding him alright towards a future where he is confident in himself, and hopefully happy and healthy.

Killer sits up and holds up his phone in triumph "Figured it out! We got here near mid summer and we had Ngihtmare for two months at that point. Ngihtmare become his true self a month before we got him. meaning!" Killer grins at Nightmare "You are a spring baby!" Killer shows the date to them all.

Ngihtmare looks away embarresed and Dust nods "Sounds good."

Nightmare however looks a bit anxious "But that is so soon already?"

Dust nuzzles him "That is okay. We will just do a small party with us five. Well and Crop and Straw if they want to come."

Horror sees Nightmare looks surprised and just chuckles "It will be nice. Something nice to focus on and enjoy together." he rubs the tiny cheek and Nightmare closes his sockets to lean into the touch.

The five of them relax and eat dinner soon after that as they casually discuss when everyone wants their own birthdays. Horror makes a point of picking up their housephone and calling Dani and Ellie to give them an update on the birthday situation and to invite them the party if they want to and have time. Horror also gives Crop the same update and invitation.

They are together. They are healing. The are happy.

And they have a party to prepare. They have to make sure Nightmare enjoys his very first birthday party after all.

*---------------------*

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[t-u-i-t-c]

"You actually were alive?"

[crowleycorvid]

Everyone is entitled to their own interps but I think ignoring the tomorrow's tea is lame

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the problem is. that once I'm worried that something may be wrong with me I get super hyperaware of my body. there's a name for that but I don't remember what it is. so I'm like "I'm thirstier than normal aren't I so that definitely means that I've developed diabetes" it's like... confirmation bias with my own body and it's driving me nuts this week

[rustyghostviolin]

I'm going down the rabbit hole of why Albert threw Frank in the well and I need to ramble about my thoughts because omg I need to get all of this out

This all kind of started with me seeing that a lot of different media contains a child falling or being thrown into a well. I was curious why this was so common so I looked into it a bit further. Turns out that back in the day, disabled or children deemed not good enough were sometimes; very rarely though; thrown into wells. Being locked in the attic was more common, but being left for dead in a well was apparently more common than it should've been. Which got me thinking, was that why Albert threw him in that well?

Albert very clearly has a facial scar or deformity even before the beehive incident, which just made his facial scar even worse, which might mean that he was disabled in other ways. We also see how sadistic Albert is, probably a mix of the abuse he endured as a disabled child in some way and mental illness. What I'm trying to say is that Albert clearly wasn't treated very well by his family; his mother gave him wine as a baby for God's sake and the beehive incident is just clear proof; and he wasn't going to let anyone else get the love that he was deprived of.

So let's get to why I think Albert threw Frank in the well specifically. Of course this could be just because he was the first nephew and was given the love that Albert was deprived of, but I think it goes deeper than that. I've seen lots of people in the fandom headcannon Frank as nonverbal or having some sort of speech impediment; which I TOTALLY agree with; and that got me thinking... This *popularly headcannoned* nonverbal kid with big dorky glasses was thrown into a well; a way of getting rid of a disabled kid back in the day; by his probably disabled uncle...

Albert threw Frank in that well because he saw that he was treated with the love that he hadn't been given. He saw similar traits in Frank that he himself had and was jealous that he could be loved despite his disability. I'm literally writing a fanfic at this moment with this theme

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

Conner and bizarro finally meet

on a random lonely day in the Kansas country side, Conner is rocking in a rocking chair reading a book lex got him. it's a big fat comic collection about this guy who works with the FDA for some reason and he's honestly just enthralled. there's a whoosh sound and suddenly Jason and bizarro appear, Jason has his arm over the shoulder of bizarro as he waves over to Conner. Conner is pretty confused who the other guy is.

Conner: hi Jason, who's with you?

Jason: oh this is bizarro, he's kind of my son.

Conner: since when?

Jason: since ages, lex basically was going to kill him but we accidentally broke him out of his containment. long story short he's here he's my son.

bizarro: *waves* bye! I'm bizarro

Conner: hi bizarro

Jason: don't mind him he's words are a bit backwards, something about the programming didn't quite work. all negative verbs and such are positives and all positives are negatives. we are working on it right buddy?

bizarro: I'm resting on it!

Jason: speech therapy is hard, he's perfectly normal he just has some mixed up brain functions. lex actually managed to reverse alot of the degenerative disease problems, so you know bizarro is just struggling with a few things. he's doing way better than before though right buddy?

bizarro: I'm not fine, I'm doing bad! red is doing a bad job

Jason: aw, thanks. I try, we really have to work on the negative verbs, but it's fine we can try again later. anyway I wanted you to meet your brother bizarro!

Conner: *holds out hand* nice to meet you bizarro, what do you like to do?

bizarro: I hate… reading books and watching movies, it’s not fun.

Conner: oh! I love reading books, I have some if you want one.

bizarro: I’m not interested, I hate reading. No thanks!

Conner: wait here I’ll go get one!

Conner runs into the house to go grab some books, he didn’t really know he had a brother but this was kinda cool. Even if it came out of nowhere.

Conner: I have.. Julia Gillard’s cookbook, pride and prejudice, moby dick, and.. bionicules? Honestly I don’t think I’ll read them again so you can have them, my gift!

Bizarro looks at Conner and smiles, he takes the books and starts reading them on the floor of the patio.

Jason: I know I should have called you, but we never have the chance to meet up.

Conner: it’s fine, honestly. I was just reading some comics, been a long week. Just wanted to soak up some sun, since Lex was nagging me about it.

Jason: Lex??

Conner: oh I didn’t tell you, yeah we are kinda trying to fix things between us. I think it has something to do with the whole kryptonite induced cancer, thing. He surprisingly actually does not mean any harm to me, it's so weird.

Jason: damn, even Lex of all people is trying to mend his relationships. Never thought I’d see the day.

Conner: oh it was weird, he came up to the house and actually apologised to me. Lex. APOLOGISED

Jason: NO WAY, I don’t believe you *crosses arms*

Connor: I wish I had it on tape, but no he did. It was so weird, then he told me he actually was pregnant with me.

Jason: wait… *murmurs* when would that have been.

Conner: oh a couple years ago as I’m about 4-5 now.

Jason: oh yeah he did basically disappear for a whole year one year, kinda thought he had some sort of horrible injury or assassin on his tail. Didn’t really think he was having you?

Connor: honestly I would not know, because again didn’t exist yet.

Jason: that’s actually around the time bizarro was made actually, well a year or 2 beforehand.

Connor: yeah makes sense, wait. bizarro is older than me?

bizarro: I'm younger than other superman.

Connor: true I do think your older than me, does lex keep saying anything about dissolving DNA to you guys?

Jason: on yeah that's what originally happened to biz over here, right buddy?

bizarro: me DNA re- reconsti- reconstituted.

Connor: oh damn, that most be why he is motherhen'ing so bad. "you really should be checking for it every 2 weeks" as lex says to me fortnightly now. ugh annoying.

Jason: really? guess I'll take his advice that does unironically sound like a good idea. Connor, well this has been nice. but we have to go or we are going to miss family dinner. see ya

Connor: honestly nice that you dropped by, nice to meet you bizarro!

bizarro: hi other superman!

Connor: you can call me Kon if you like

bizarro: hi Kon!

Connor: see you both enjoy the books! I'm sure bizarro will enjoy them

Jason: oh totally pride and prejudice is my favourite, I was looking for a copy for biz actually it's a wonderful gift, nice seeing you! see you next time for the space pirates?

Connor: always, those fucking space pirates though

bizarro: I love space pirates, they are the best

Connor: lol you're so right, bye guys!!

bizarro + Jason: bye!!!!

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[dawnleaf37]

anyways I have some theory about some stuff in ab but for now take my vers of cheezit