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hippopotamusdreamer · 4 months

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The 8 Times Stray Kids Protected/Cared for You

genre. A (semi-heavy), F , C

warnings. death threat (?), mention of you should die, loneliness, allergic reactions, stalking, being followed, belittling, skin picking, feeling like you don't belong

additional notes. Female! Reader | You/Your pronouns, reader is aged between Hyunjin and Han, includes all members of Stray Kids, Reader is allergic, Lee Know as Minho in some parts

pairing. OT8 x 9th member

w.c. 13.4K

synopsis. A few separate instances that Y/N remembers within her time with Stray Kids

Kpop Masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

This in no way reflects the actual persons involved/based in this fic, nor their actual character. This is purely fiction.

Chan had always been very particular with how his members were treated. Whether it be by the staff or by fans. He’d always kept an eye out for them. A protector of the highest caliber. Always keeping his children in line and away from harm to the best of his abilities.

Of course, when you joined Stray Kids, at the behest of one Park Jin Young, it was a little rocky to say the least. He was kind to you, they all were, but there was that underlying unease when it came to having a new FEMALE member. Not like you faulted them for it either.

On the contrary, you understood completely why they kept their distance for a while after officially meeting you. There were still some hardcore stans out there that always had that weird stigma with their idols and how they interacted with the opposite sex.

You just hoped your group could get passed that speedbump. To some degree, anyways.

Going public with everyone was a hard thing for your group to do at the beginning of your personal debut. Especially since it came months and months after the whole group was already established.

The backlash was insane.

You knew it was going to be a bad situation regardless. You weren’t stupid enough to believe it wouldn’t be. Even KARD went through something similar and they started off as a co-ed group. Message trucks were sent to JYPE and around Seoul calling for your departure from Stray Kids. Flower arrangements were placed at the front of the building itself with hurtful messages on each one.

There were even a few comments on SNS and other media outlets that still stuck with you to this day years down the line.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It came to a head at the first fan meet and greet after the company stated that the group was now officially OT9. This was maybe 3 months in as a whole group, so everyone was pretty cordial with you. Still keeping a distance but at least they would acknowledge you even at the extent of a superficial conversation…

Being a girl, you obviously wouldn’t be able to get dressed and ready with the guys so there now had to be a designated dressing room solely for you. Your stylist and makeup artist had already finished your touch ups and so had left you to your own devices as they went to check on the others in the room next door.

It was lonely.

From your seat, you could hear the ruckus coming from the other room where the members were. The high-pitched giggles of Changbin, the yelling voices of both I.N and Felix. You could even hear the dulcet tones of Hyunjin getting onto someone.

It just made the silence in your room more poignant.

You wanted to join them, but you were scared of overstepping their boundaries. You could just feel their disdain for you whenever you stood near them. And you couldn’t help but emphasize that you GET. IT.

You did!

You weren’t there at the beginning of it all. You didn’t share in the hardships that they went through. Of when Felix and Minho were eliminated on Stray Kids Survival only for Chan to bring them back. You weren’t handpicked by the leader of the group. You don’t have that BOND.

But God did you wish you did. Instead you were chosen by the one guy that they like least of all. You were the pimple on an otherwise blemish free face.

So you sat, picking at your nails as your phone lit up on the counter in front of you. Grabbing the phone, you read the notifications that pop up on the screen.

@/LEEbitsgranma: Y/N should jst leave the grp alrdy, they don’t need her!!

@/LvrGirlSkZie: it’s all just for clout right?? Y/N is just using the boys when will JYP take action??

@/HyunsBbygrillll: I’m not saying Y/N should just d**, but,,,¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Your phone was getting hounded with notifications like these daily since, basically, the beginning of your introduction. You never replied to anything that was said and you never mentioned anything to the boys. Of course they had to have seen the signs in front of the building, but they never said anything to you. You didn’t want to cause them additional stress with your problems so you just endured it yourself.

Looking around you, you could just get a sense of loneliness inside your dressing room. Everything was still neat and in its designated place. There was a single standing rack with not even a third used for your clothes for the day. There were no pile of jackets and shoes in a corner, no trash from empty wrappers or drinks. No commotion as you just sat there in your chair quietly. It didn’t have that feeling that someone’s been there, it all just felt cold to you.

With a sigh, you closed your eyes and you tossed your phone back on to the counter to step out of the room. As you closed the door, you turn and made eye contact with I.N as he was about to step into his own dressing room, arms loaded with snacks. You go to greet him and possibly help him out with the door when he hurriedly continued on his way inside. He cried out in pain as his shoulder checked the frame.

The heavy door closed in your face.

You’re left to stand in the empty hallway, mouth frozen with a greeting stuck in your throat.

You pick at your nails unconsciously as you stood there, not sure where to look. You could feel the inside of your chest hurting at the blatant rejection from the youngest member of the group. Your mental health had really declined since this all started. And there were times when you’d just second guess yourself and thought about if this was the right thing to be a part of or not. But the legal fees alone would be a nightmare to deal with if you so much as tried to break your contract.

An unknown amount of time had passed since you stepped out of your room. The hallway empty in all that time you were out there, one of your fingers stung from how long you picked at the skin around your nail. Your dissociative state being disrupted as the same door I.N walked in through had Chan stepping out of it instead.

“Oh, Y/N, ” he greeted. “I was just coming to get you. Are you alright?”

“Huh?”

He just points at your hand. Seemed you picked yourself enough to make the skin around your nail to bleed a bit.

“Oh! Um…,” you hid your hand behind your back. “Yeah, I just came out to find a Band-Aid.”

“The stylists usually have some in their box for emergencies. The guys are all done changing so you can come get one from them.”

He turned to have you follow him but you shout to stop him.

‘THIS IS A BOUNDARY.’

Your mind yelled at you. You could not step into their space no matter what. You will not bother them in their safe space.

“It’s fine. It- um, I don’t even need one really, see?” you made a show of wiping the few drops of blood on your dark pants, willing no more blood to appear. When none did, you wiggled your fingers at him, forced smile on your face to urge him to believe you. “Look see, all better.”

He glanced at your hand before looking up at your face. He stared few minutes longer before slowly nodding his head in acceptance.

“Ok. I came out to come get you anyways.”

“Me?” You swear if you had any type of animal ears, they would have perked up at being looked for.

“Yeah, the meet and greet is about to begin. We’re about to start heading down to the area right now.”

“…Oh, right. Ok.” If Chan saw the disappointment on your face, he didn’t say anything about it.

At that, the boys started filing out of the room from behind him.

“Let’s go best leader!” I.N said, trying his best to speak in English. The coos following from every one of the guys was immediate. You smile at how well they were with each other, the pang in your heart slight at their connection.

You go to follow when you pat down your pants looking for the missing weight of your phone. Quickly, you remembered that you had left it in your room. Spinning around, you almost collided with Chan as he was following right behind everyone.

“What’s wrong?” He asks looking over you to make sure you were ok.

“I left my phone on the counter, I was gonna go grab it.”

“I got it,” he waved you off. “Go on with the others, I’ll be right behind you.”

“…You sure?”

He just nodded and gently motioned for you to go on. After a few seconds of hesitation on your part, you thanked him and trail after the boys who were way ahead of the two of you.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You were standing off to the side of everyone as you all waited for the go ahead from the staff members in charge. It was a small location, probably 350 people max allowed inside. They had decided to downscale this fan meeting “just in case”.

They never out right stated what the “in case” part was but everyone knew.

Chan came back not long after, face unreadable as he handed you your phone back. Thanking him again, you tucked it into your back pocket, not waiting to see what other messages you could have gotten while it was out of your sight. He goes off to talk to one of the managers and you’re left alone again, the boys interacting within themselves.

You begin to pick at your skin again.

“Y/N-ah,” Chan called out to you as he went back to your group by the door. Turning to him you give him a questioning look.

“You’re going to sit next to me today ok?”

Normally for fan meetings, idols were placed however they wanted. Since you were new, typically you had been at the end of the line as to not break apart any STAYs’ member pairings. A majority may not have liked you right now, but a few of them weren’t so bad so you hadn’t wanted to get on their bad side. You were told before that Chan was going to be at the edge this time around so it wasn’t really much of a difference to you.

Nodding, you both heard STAYS beginning to yell as someone on the microphone was heard introducing Stray Kids. The doors open and you fix a smile on your face as you all make your way out waving hello to the STAYs waiting.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You don’t know what you had expected as you sat there staring down at the table before you. Chan had decided that the both of you were going to sit in the middle, him to your left and Minho to your right. On one hand, what surprised you was having your very own fan cam. It was kind of fun to see it following you like a little puppy. On the other hand, the amount of times, people just straight up skipped you in line was both humiliating and disheartening.

You’d tried to sit on your hands to keep from picking at them but subconsciously it just happened after the 5th time being skipped over. In your own little mental bubble, you didn’t notice the worried glances the older members shot each other when they noticed what was going on the first time.

A few STAYs did stop at you though. It wasn’t all rough. The first STAY you met that day would always be a fond memory for you.

“Hi, Y/N, nice to meet you!”

“Hi! Nice to meet you, too,” You, and everyone else around you, could feel yourself brighten up at the STAY in front of you as you gave them a tender smile.

“I’m nervous,” she goes on to say. “This is my first fan sign.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” You say as you scoot a little closer in your seat. She leans in a little closer. “It’s my first fan sign, too.”

The both of you giggle at each other’s nervousness. The ice broken now that someone was willing to actually sit with you.

“I brought you a gift, it’s not much since I couldn’t afford anything after buying the ticket to come here. I just wanted to say that you’re doing an amazing job! Don’t listen to what people are saying online. They’re not real fans, I hope everything goes well for you this comeback and the ones after ok?”

You tried not to cry at the heartfelt words of the fan in front of you as she pulled out a little teddy bear from her bag. It was decorated with a little t-shirt that said “Bear-y Cool” on it. It had you immediately on your feet and leaning over the table to give her a hug.

The bear stayed with you throughout the rest of the meet and greet. Even when the staff would occasionally come by to clear the table of gifts that other STAYs had given the members, your bear was with you the entire time.

As time flew by it was now the ending lament and Chan didn’t hesitate to take the microphone.

“Hey guys,” his happy leader mode present as usual when sending STAY off.

“First of I just wanted to say that I’m so happy to have been able to meet and talk to so many of our fans today.” Everyone cheered and clapped, the flashing of cameras going off every now and then. “We had a great time with you all. This is the first time that we’re out meeting fans together as nine members. I do have to say though,”

The tension in the room shifted as Chan stared out into the audience. Him turning serious, watching the switch up was crazy from how happy-go-lucky he was a few seconds ago.

“I’m disappointed at how some STAYs having been acting online. What I saw today too, it really hurts my heart,” he said while grabbing at his chest. “Do you know what I hate the most? When people think that they’re trying to help but they’re actually not.

I know there are diehard fans out there that will say Stray Kids is eight members, but we’re nine now. And as long as Y/N-ah is here, we will always be nine. I know you guys are concerned about us, I understand that and we’re so grateful to you all, but you have to believe in us and what we’re doing. There’s no need to complain to the company or online, there’s no need to hate anyone for that matter. Stray Kids is nine members.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

News of Chan defending you spread quickly the days following the meet and greet. The online bullying dropped significantly as a result. Trucks and flowers trickled until eventually they stopped showing up altogether. A few online messages still made it through but other fans quickly put a stop to it. And an official company statement was made addressing all the atrocious behaviors done to your person and the legal actions that would proceed going forward should more were happen.

Your nailbeds were looking a lot healthier nowadays, too.

Yes, Chan was definitely protective of his members. No matter who it was that was targeting them, he would stick up for them in a heartbeat. And if you or anyone else ever noticed that he usually called you Y/N-ah now, well no one’s going to bat an eye about it.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

I.N was a verbal protector. Fierce in his own right, especially for being the youngest of the group.

Months following The Fan Meeting™, as everyone now called it, the boys really tried to open up to you more and vice versa. You’d learned that I.N wasn’t disregarding you on purpose that day, he was just nervous to have a one-on-one conversation with you. With you being half foreigner, he wasn’t all that confident in speaking with you yet even though you told him you could understand Korean. Not well but certainly enough to get by. Then you had brought up the fact that both Chan and Felix were also foreigners.

He apologized promptly afterwards.

After that conversation, the maknae decided to have mini studying sessions when the both of you weren’t busy with practice or recording vocals. To help you understand the language better and for him to get better at speaking English in general. The two of you would sit near the corner of the practice room and just have a notebooks and flashcards spread out all on the floor. A few of the members would also stop by to check on you two as well.

“아침은 뭐 먹었어요?” you said as you practice your pronunciation. I.N would then correct your infliction at the end. You would repeat it three times to get it down before redoing your sentence. Him nodding as you did it right.

“Morning what I eat?” I.N in turn, to practice, his English.

Smiling slightly, you lightly shook your head no. “Very close, English and Korean switch subject, verbs, and objects around. Try it again.”

He paused to let the information sink into his brain. He concentrated for a few seconds before saying, “What did I eat for breakfast?”

You clap and grin brightly at him and as he got it down quickly. He reflected your smile as you praise him. “Yes! That was perfect!”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It would continue like that until everyone was called back to continue practicing or it was time to leave. For weeks this went on, and the both of you got better with speaking and with each other. You still weren’t comfortable with interviews and usually you could get by without speaking too much.

It was about a month after the fan meet event when it all happened. There was this one interviewer who was just so invasive with his questions that he had directed towards you.

“Y/N-ssi,” you did not like the gleam in his eyes the entire time you all were there. Since the beginning of the interview, he just gave you a bad feeling. You were grateful you were sat in the second row behind I.N and Channie.

“Yes?”

“You’re from America, yes?” The interviewer started.

“That’s correct.”

“Are both your parents Korean?”

“…No, they’re not. My dad is though.” You were unsure where he was going with this. It wasn’t part of the usual line of questions interviewers would ask and guessing by the slightly confused faces of everyone in the room, they most likely weren’t vetted to be asked that day either.

“Ah, what a shame. Maybe that’s why you’re not as popular as your other members.”

That one took you aback. Processing was a hassle since he started to talk faster. As if making sure to trip you up.

“Uh—.”

He cuts you off.

“Does it make you angry? 당신은 STAYs에게 더 많은 attention 원합니까? Do you 그들을 원망합니까?”

He was speaking too fast for you to process his sentences at once. Though you knew enough to know he was basically talking down to you. All you could do was flounder in your seat as you had trouble mentally translating everything this man was saying to you. Basically spit firing everything so you couldn’t even get a word in even if you wanted to.

It was I.N who grabbed the microphone from Chan before the leader could step in on your behalf.

“Interviewer-nim, those are questions that are neither appreciated nor appropriate at any time. Your actions regarding one of my members is really disgraceful and rude. This is something that our managers will talk to your higher ups about. ”

“That’s—” Just as he did to you, I.N cuts him off mid-sentence.

“We expect an apology from you and your company for my noona within the next few days. This interview is now over.”

And with that he dropped the microphone onto the floor before grabbing your hand and walking out. Chan nodded his head in agreement, angry tick in his jaw, as the others follow behind the two of you, also voicing their grievances with the interviewer.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Back in your designated dressing room, I.N was pacing back and forth fuming. You sat there, waiting for him to calm down on his own.

“He had no right to talk to you that way noona! He was being rude and hurtful and for what!?”

You couldn’t help but give a small smile at his little tirade. This was now the second time he’s called you noona and you won’t lie, it kind of makes you giddy for being honored in such a way by the maknae.

“He was,” you agreed from your seat on the couch. “And he most likely won’t be the last one to be rude to me or any of the others.”

He pulled a disgruntled face because he knew you were right.

“But,” you continued, I.N finally plopping down on the seat next to you. “I’m glad we’ll always have you there to have our backs like that. I deeply appreciate you standing up for me.”

You hesitated for a split second before you brought your hand up to pat his head softly. Delighted when he didn’t push you off.

There was a knock on your door before Chan popped his head in. Seeing both you and I.N inside, he fully stepped in.

“Hey, just wanted to check on the two of you.”

Looking at Chan then back to I.N you respond, “We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, after he apologizes,” I.N grumbled as he crossed his arms across his chest, managing to make both you and Chan chuckle at him.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Suffice it to say, that interview never saw the light of day. You and your team also never worked with that interviewer afterwards either. And just as I.N wanted; an official letter of apology was sent to the company addressed to “Y/L/N Y/N of Stray Kids”. It sat framed in the dorm room to this day.

I.N being the one that had picked out the frame. It was there as a constant reminder of not letting anyone try to belittle you and continued to be with you for every moving day you’d had to make since then.

Yeah, you felt it in your entire being that I.N was fiercely protective of his members. And as his noona, you were just as fiercely protective of him too.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

If I.N was fierce, Changbin was silently reliable as a protector. For how loud he could be, he also knew when to just be there for you.

Though it was becoming less and less rocky with the group as time went on, you still felt like you could be in the way at times. Nothing crazy, but you did decide that to give them some space away from you at the dorm, you would either stay late in the practice room or go to the gym at night. It wasn’t for a long time, just an hour or two of extra time for yourself and that way the guys could have space to be “men” without the fear of you walking around.

It was going fine for the most part. You could arrange a Kakao taxi to drop you off at the apartment from the JYPE building if you stayed later than everyone. Or, if you happened to be at the gym you frequented, it was essentially located about 20 minutes from the shared dorm by walking.

You just had to count it as an extra form of cardio for your workout.

Chan and I.N would do a check-in if they felt you were out later than usual and you would respond back quickly as to not let them worry. Then you’d pack it up and head home.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Y/N-ah, are you gonna be in the practice room tonight?” Chan asked, everyone else wrapping things up for the night. He was sat in his studio chair, mixer spread behind him, lights flashing every now and then. You had no idea what any of them did.

“Not tonight Channie, it’s leg day. Gonna head for the gym.”

He nodded and told you to be careful before turning back to his abundance of buttons and dials. He was also staying late tonight.

You managed to make it outside when you got a text form I.N.

Little Maknae <3: u sure u don’t want to join gamerz night with me n Felix?

Smiling down at the screen you respond with an emoji declining his offer and told him good luck on their games.

Little Maknae <3: Noona, I’m playing w/Felix, I need all the help I can get ㅋㅋㅋ

You rolled your eyes with a fond smile before sticking your phone away in your pocket. A sense of unease happened to wash over you though and you couldn’t help but look around to see if you spotted anything out of the ordinary. The sun was already starting to set on the day and the area looked clear for the most part.

Looking around one more time you brushed it off as your taxi arrived in front of you. Hopping inside you greeted the driver before confirming your location drop off. You hoped the feeling disappeared as he took off from the building.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You were an hour and half into your set and that weird feeling just would not go away. The feeling in your gut caused you to bite at your lip in worry as you decided that you were done for the day. Calling it a night, you were mid-packing of your stuff when a guy you’ve never met before came up to you from seemingly out of nowhere.

Startled, you almost dropped your water bottle. An alarm bell began ringing in your head as you blinked at him. Something was not right and your instincts were screaming at you to get out of there.

“Hi,” he started, giving you a onceover. You were thankful that the leg press was between the both of you. “I’m not sure if you noticed but I’ve been working out next to you a couple of times now and I just wanna say you have such a good form.”

Sirens? Blaring. Heart? Pumping. And it wasn’t not due to the endorphins of a good workout.

“You’re so flexible when you stretch, too. I always tried to go as low as you do but I just can’t seem to manage. You make it look so easy.”

“Thank…you?” You’re not sure what to do. You know you should tell the staff about this dude’s creepy behavior but as of right now they were on the first floor and you were currently on the second. There was no one else around so you had to be even more careful because who knew just what he was capable of. You were both the same height but that could only take you so far.

“Um…well I have to go now,” reaching down to grab your bag, he put his hand over yours to stop you. Boy do you stop, practically frozen in your spot.

“Wait, you’re going now? Your sets usually last for a little bit longer don’t they?”

“Yeah but uh, I…have an early day tomorrow so I have to leave,” managing to pry yourself away from him, you took a step back.

He stared at you without blinking before he broke out into a smile. “Right, you’re probably busy tomorrow. It was so great to finally talk to you. I remember when you first started to come here, you had no idea what you were doing.” He laughed as if you two were just the best of friends sharing an inside joke. “Alright well I’ll let you head out, I’ll catch you in two days for your next session, ok?”

Before you can respond, he left with a wave and you’re finally alone. Hastily, you head downstairs to talk to one of the staff members in charge. The guy was already gone by the time you had made it to the front desk. They couldn’t do much since the guy didn’t actually assault you but they took down your statement and his description to warn the other team members to keep an eye out for him.

You didn’t feel comfortable leaving the gym immediately only because you weren’t sure if he was waiting outside for you or not. Instead, you stayed in the locker room for an extra 35 minutes, procrastinating with the sauna and a shower. Anything to keep you inside for a bit longer.

You’d tried calling Chan and I.N yet neither picked up. You knew it was a long shot with both of them being busy tonight, but you had to try either way.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

By the time you felt okay enough to leave the safety of the building, it was nearing 11 pm and you were hungry. There was a CU that you would pass by somewhere along the halfway point when you walked home, you would probably stop there for a snack to go. Surely, the guy wouldn’t still be hanging around right?

You didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary like earlier so you went on with your routinely walk home. The familiar purple and green lights of the convenience store came into your view and you released a breath you weren’t aware of holding. Heading inside, the bell alerted anyone inside that someone came into the store. Greeting the tired looking university girl behind the counter, you head to the back towards the refrigerator section that had all the kimbap varieties.

You were stuck choosing between a tuna bacon mayo and a spicy pork one when the overhead bell dinged again and that uneasy feeling came back to you with a vengeance. Slowly, you glanced to the corner security mirror and in the reflection you could make out the same guy from the gym was now there. Your hands shook as you placed both snacks back down.

The guy headed down into the next aisle over from you and you swiftly walked to the clerk up at the front. You could only hope that what you were about to do worked because your options were already slim. Taking out your phone, you typed a message and presented it to the girl while asking her a question.

“Excuse me, is there a restroom that I can use here?”

There is a man following me, could you hide me somewhere?

She looked as if to deny you before looking confused after reading the message on your phone. The desperation in your face probably helped convince her that you needed help because she started nodding and motioning for you to come behind the counter. All the while keeping an eye out for the man in case he turned the corner.

“Yes, you can come this way.”

You sent her a thankful look as you followed her. She told you to remain in there and she’d let you know if he left or not.

You took out your phone again and clicked on a random name in your contact list. Hoping beyond hope that someone would pick up this late. It rang three times before someone answers.

“Hello?”

Seo Changbin.

Finally allowing yourself to be scared, your voice was quiet and shaky as you addressed him, “C-Changbin?”

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” His concern is palpable even through the receiver.

“There’s a creepy guy that followed me from the gym. I tried calling Chan and Innie but they weren’t answering their phones. A-and I didn’t know what to do or who else to call…”

He cursed quietly and then you heard the rustling of keys on his end. “Where are you? Are you safe? Share your location with me and I’ll be there soon alright.”

“I’m safe for now, I’m in the employee office of the CU that’s 13 minutes from the dorm,” you do as he says and shared your location with him.

“Good, don’t move from there until I get you ok? I’m on my way.”

“Binnie…I’m scared…”

He was silent for a moment before his serious and reassuring tone could be heard over the line, “I know you are, but I promise he’s not going to do a thing to you you hear me?”

You nodded into your phone and waited for him to come to you. He didn’t allow you to hang up, wanting to be in constant contact with you while he shortened the distance between you two.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Just as he promised, Changbin made it to your location in record time. By the time he arrived the guy had already left when he realized you weren’t in the store anymore. From what the worker explained to the both of you, the guy had come up to her asking if she had seen his girlfriend, aka you.

That made you visibly uncomfortable and Changbin put his arm around you in comfort. Changbin made sure to get the worker’s information and a recording from the store’s CCTV of when you entered the CU to when the guy left sent to his manager’s email. Then he reached out to your gym to get their CCTV recording, as well as a copy of your written statement against the man. He was going to make sure that this guy would not be allowed anywhere near you.

On the short drive home, he kept looking over at you to make sure you were ok.

“Why do you go to the gym so far from the dorm? The one I go to is a lot closer.”

“…I didn’t want to invade into your space.”

“My…? Huh!? Y/N-ah, from now on just come to the gym with me ok. It’s better than going at night by yourself. Safer too.”

“But—”

“Y/N-ah, you don’t know how worried I was when you called me. I don’t ever want to feel like that if I can help it. I never liked the fact that you went out at night but I wanted you to have time for yourself too. So, if that means I can now take you with me in the mornings, I’m all for it, this way I know for sure that you’re safe.”

All you can do is give a watery smile, his words making you feel warm inside after the mess of the night had been. You agreed, not because he didn’t give you much of a choice, but because the sincerity of his words really hit home.

“Also, I want to enroll you in some self-defense classes. As long as I’m around, I’ll have your back but this is for just in case purposes ok?”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Chan and I.N managed to call you back soon after arriving back at the dorm with Changbin. Both nearly had a heart attack when he explained what had happened to you. They both calmed down slightly when Changbin explained all that he was planning to do with the information he received.

He immediately made a note to cancel your gym membership and put you on his gym family plan in the morning. He doesn’t force you to go with him but you can tell he would get excited when you do decide to join him. He always asked how your class were as he would usually be waiting outside the door for you when you get done, not wanting to interrupt your session. You never did see that guy again after that, you just hoped he wasn’t doing the same thing to some other poor girl.

Changbin also started taking up the habit of walking with you after that incident, that way you never had to do it alone. Even if it was just a quick trip to the convenience store, he would be the first to get up to go with you. And you never once stopped sharing your locations with each other after that night.

Of course, that’s just how reliably protective your Changbinnie was.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Seungmin was one of the more quieter members of the group. Not in the bad why mind you, he just brought a sort of calm to the family function that you really enjoyed. He was also the more silent of the group when it came to protecting the others. Caring in the way that he observed rather than spoke. He was subtle in his actions. Didn’t outright say anything.

Just like everyone else, you came to learn that acts of service was definitely one of his love languages. The amount of times you’d caught him being kind to the members really made your heart melt. For all that he portrayed that he didn’t get along with the members of Stray Kids, you knew it was the complete opposite.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It was awkward at first, as you sat across from Seungmin on the little couch that the staff provided. Both of you were shooting ‘Two Kids Room’. Neither of you were used to being the only two filmed together and not with the whole group. Yet, always the gentleman, as soon as you had sat down, Seungmin handed you a pillow for your lap and a blanket for your legs since you had been wearing shorts.

The staff had provided a few tubes of pringles to snack on and he read the tube and then immediately offered you the first chip of his newly opened can. Most likely checking if your allergen was present in the food.

As you kindly accepted his offer, it caused you to smile.

“Did you know I was scared of you all when I first joined,” you started out, popping the whole chip into your mouth.

“Oh, yeah?” he smiled as he ate one and then gave you another, probably thinking you were joking. Taking the snack, you nodded your head yes.

“Yeah, I felt like I was overstepping a lot by coming into the group so late.”

“Do you still feel like that?” A cute look of concern passed over his face, realizing this was something you were serious about. Subconsciously though, he continued to give you chips alternating with himself as he took one after you.

“Mmm, not as much as I used to,” you relay, nodding to yourself as you tried to get your thoughts in order. He waited patiently for you to continue speaking, not wanting to interrupt you.

“You actually helped me feel better about being here.”

“Huh, me?” He questioned surprisingly. You couldn’t help but giggle at his stunned face. The cuteness aggression he brought out of you was so real.

“How do I put this?” you pursed your lips in thought. “Your actions speak louder than words Seungminnie. Though you may not have realized it, they really do matter to us.”

His face flushed slightly at being addressed endearingly as such.

“Do you remember mmm,” you continued on, not acknowledging his reddened face lest he get more embarrassed. “I forgot what it was for, but we had to film all day while walking around Seoul. So we were constantly on the sidewalks when they weren’t driving us to the different locations.”

He made a noise of affirmation, still handing you food.

“Of course, you know there were times when I would be walking with someone else that day, but there were also a lot of times when I would be walking next to you. You always made sure that I was walking on the opposite side of where the road was. No matter what, it was like clockwork, if I had somehow found my way next to the busy road and you were nearby; you made sure to move me to the other side of you and away from traffic.”

“Really?” He said, surprised to hear what he did.

“Yeah, and you still do it to this day,” this particular chip being extra crunchy made the end of your sentence more prominent. You couldn’t help but giggle out the next sentence to see the reaction of your second youngest member. “I always thought that that was very manly of you.”

“Noona!”

That got a laugh out of you as he scoffed in embarrassment, pouting.

“I’m serious though,” you said, once again turning thoughtful. “You take care of us in quiet ways, Seungminnie.

It’s like when we get together to eat and somehow Channie always ends up cooking at some point or another? You always make sure him and I eat a few pieces first before eating yourself because you know that we would let the others eat before we do. Which, again, stemmed from me not feeling like I fit in with the group and is just so leader of one certain Bang Chan but ugghh,” you couldn’t help as your eyes got glossy at the memories that came to mind of how Kim Seungmin took care of you all silently. “It can be so frustrating because we want Chan to take care of himself, but he’s so steadfast in putting others before himself. Which isn’t a bad thing at all!

But you make sure to look out for Channie and every one of us all the time. Just like today, you made sure that I was comfortable before we even started filming this. You even gave me the first bite of your snacks. The amount of times you’ve made sure I wouldn’t fall when I had to wear new heels for a stage, I have no words to describe how that makes me feel. All I can say is thank you Seungmin, from the bottom of my heart, for taking care of us in the way you do. I see you; we see you. And we treasure you for everything you’ve done, what you haven’t done and for what you continue to do.”

By this point he was avoiding eye contact with you and staring up at the ceiling. He was quiet for a moment before he blew air out of his mouth, taking the occasional deep breath to calm himself.

Clearing his throat twice before starting his sentence, “I think about that kind of thought always, am I doing enough for my members? Am I helpful enough. All my members are precious to me, so I want to do well for you all. I’m always…,”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as he began to cry. You brought him in for a hug and pat his head lovingly as you rocked the both of you from side to side.

“You will always be enough for Stray Kids, Seungminnie. And for Stays, too, understand?”

“You too, noona. You’re enough for Stray Kids and Stays too,” he got out around a sniffle.

You hugged him tighter after that.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

When your episode of ‘Two Kids Room’ dropped, it had become one of the most watched episodes of the entire season. The other members immediately ganging up on the two of you with hugs that you each tried to run from. There was definitely a shift for the better in the group after that.

Since then, Seungmin had made an effort to seek you out when in a group setting. Making sure you were comfortable, safe, and not alone (unless you wanted to be). His subtle ways of protecting you and the others not changing but you wouldn’t want him to be any other way but himself.

It was like that one saying went.

If Kim Seungmin had a million fans, then you were one of them. If Kim Seungmin had ten fans, then you were one of them. If Kim Seungmin had only one fan then that was you. If Kim Seungmin had no fans, then that meant you were no longer on earth. If the world was against Kim Seungmin, then you were against the world.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Just like Seungmin, Minho was an observer. He paid attention to everyone in his little makeshift family. What they liked and what they didn’t. He was member who you would categorize as a combination of subtle and dramatic when taking care of others.

He was the type to pick something up and lock it away mentally until it was time to use that information again. You weren’t sure if that was just the dance leader in him or if he was just Like That™. Most likely both if you were being honest.

It was surprisingly, or rather unsurprisingly, him who looked out for you first when you joined. It wasn’t how most would think either. It honestly took you off guard when it happened.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

All throughout your life you had been allergic to peanuts and walnuts. It wasn’t that much of a problem since you would simply avoid them whenever possible. Like those with a severe allergy, your skin would break out into hives and your throat would tighten up. If left untreated you could go into anaphylaxis shock and die.

Thankfully, after you first encounter as a child, you and your family were pretty vigilant about what contained the little devil nuts and what didn’t.

It was pretty traumatic for your parents when it had first happened. Imagine, little Y/N bumbling into the kitchen for a snack of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A brand new treat for you to try, except the peanut butter tried to exact some kind of unknown revenge and kill you right after the first couple of bites?? Rude.

Suffice it to say, that new jar of peanut butter was thrown out as soon as you all made it home from the hospital.

It wasn’t something you advertised, just made sure restaurants understood whenever you went to eat somewhere new. You had your main spots you frequented so much, so they were already aware of your allergies. Those were your safe restaurants to eat back home in America.

But when you had left your home country to live with your grandparents and then moved to Seoul to pursue your dream career, it was a little touch and go in the new cities. Korea didn’t take nut allergies as seriously as they should since it wasn’t as common as it was in the west.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The first thing JYPE did when you joined was take you to meet your new group who were all out for a meal that the company had set up. You had thought that when you accepted a position as a new vocal, you’d be put into an up-and-coming girl group. When you arrived at the restaurant though, only to see an established boy group, you hadn’t known what to think. The silence in the air was deafening in the loud restaurant.

“Introduce yourself,” your personal manager, Heejin, prompted.

“Yes, hello, I’m Y/L/N Y/N, 00’ line. I’m a vocal singer, nice to meet you,” you started partly in English with a bow. The managers had wanted you to sit in the middle of the table to break the ice, but you insisted that you were fine sitting at the end. When none of the guys had made a move to introduce themselves back, the managers did it for them. As one could imagine, it was awkward at best and unbearable at worst. The food hadn’t even arrived yet as you sat and fiddled with the chopsticks for your designated seat.

You were sat next to Minho and across from Seungmin, the quieter end of the table. Not that the rest was any better with no one knowing what to say. Most avoided looking at you, more than likely pissed at your presence altogether.

‘And with good reason,’ you thought to yourself.

While staring down at your hands to avoid their possible angry gazes, you noticed a hangnail on your index finger and you begin to pick at it. You jumped as a waitress began to place the side dishes on the table. The table thanked her and this caused everyone to finally stir slightly, now having small conversations with each other.

“We don’t mean to be rude Y/N-ssi. We just didn’t expect the company to pull this kind of thing on us,” Bang Chan said from his position at the other end of the table. The first to actually talk to you.

“Oh no, it’s ok. I understand, I didn’t know it was going to be like this either...”

Kimchi and myeolchi bokkeum were placed in front of you and you had to do a double take at the stir-fried anchovy and peanut dish. You could just feel your throat wanting to close by just looking at it. Subtly, you tried to push the dish away from you as far as possible without alerting anyone.

Minho must have noticed at one point because he moved the little side dish to his right and replaced it with the gaji-namul. Egg plant was a far better dish than peanuts. The meat finally came and everyone became livelier. Once ready, you waited for the others to get their pieces of meat first, not wanting to fight them for a portion immediately after being introduced. If you were back home, nothing would have stopped you from being one of the first to reach in that grill.

You sat picking at your rice bowl and sides as you watch Seungmin take a piece from your side of the grill to Bang Chan to try. Smiling at the sweet gesture, you couldn’t help but feel guilty by watching the tender moment between members. As if it was something you weren’t supposed to see. When Seungmin returned, most of the meat on your grill was gone and you decided to wait for the next round instead. You were picking up a piece of eggplant when a piece of meat was placed on your plate, looking up at Seungmin, he didn’t make eye contact as he continued to make a ssam for himself.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

That same night, after dinner, the group decided they wanted dessert and that a food truck was the best place to get it since it was already mid-November. You kept to yourself as you followed behind them. Upon arriving at the desired destination, you noticed that there were two vendors side by side. One was selling a few items such as eomuk tang, the delicious little fish cake soup, and hotteok. The other was just selling bungeo-ppang, your favorite little fish bread with no fish inside.

The smell alone at the first stall was enough to cause an irritant in your throat, one you tried to clear quietly. Moving upwind from the smoke, you waited patently as the others began to tell Changbin what they wanted. Him yelling back how they only liked him for his money.

You smiled at the scene once more from your little corner, happy that they could still goof around with each other with you around. Jeongin came up to you then and placed a cup containing a hotteok in your hands.

“You, eat,” he said in broken English, gesturing you to eat up before turning around to the others again. The warmth is great for your fingers but the walnut powder they used for this dessert would surely kill you. You had your epi-pen with you always but you didn’t want to use it if you could help it. You were unsure of what to do as you bit your lip in contemplation. There was a trash can next to the stall but everyone was around it and you didn’t want to be outright rude.

You were brought out of your thoughts when Minho cleared his throat next to you. “You want switchie? This choux cream.”

He held out the fresh fish bread to you. Smiling brightly, you thanked him as you nod vigorously and switch your cup with his wrapper. You munched happily on the little fish-pastry as he looked at you for a second longer than normal, just observing, though you put it out of your mind rather quickly.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

There were more instances like that as time went on yet somehow Minho was always there to help you out. No one else being none the wiser. Until he eventually came to talk to you about it and made it 100% clear how bad it could be if you were to consume peanut/walnut based dishes. You also explained how you didn’t mind not telling anyone about it, Lee Know just nodded, patted you on the head and walked away.

But maybe you should have.

A week later, at the dorm was when everything snowballed. It was slightly awkward, just like everything else at first, when you all had found out that you were moving in. Someone even had to switch rooms so that you could have a room to yourself.

Of course, you felt bad for that happening.

So there you were, in the kitchen with Lee Know and Felix, sitting at the table as they were preparing lunch. Lee Know was stirring something on the stove when Felix stopped chopping vegetables to open a small yellow sleeve of an unknown treat.

“Y/N-ssi, do you want to try a kook hee biscuit?”

“Cookie biscuit?”

“Yeah a kook hee buscuit,” he pulled out a little a little sandwich cookie for you try. As you reached for it, Lee Know appeared from where he once was and snatched it from Felix’s open palm only to then shove it into his mouth. The two of you looking at him perplexed at his actions.

“Hyung…?”

He didn’t say anything as he stared the both of you down. Stared you down. But you didn’t understand. Felix went to give you another one when Lee Know smacked that one on to the floor instead.

“What are you doing?” Felix says, getting a little fed up. He tossed another one to you only for Lee Know to miss catching it in air. You cheered as you grabbed it midair and shoved it into your mouth. You chewed the cookie in your mouth as Lee Know began to panic, he gestured for you to spit it out but you and Felix looked at him in confusion.

And then you realized your mistake as your mouth started to tingle. Lee Know grabbed the yellow wrapper from Felix and thrusted it in your face. It was enough for you to read that it was a peanut cookie. You sat shell shocked; your breathing coming out faster until Lee Know took your face in his hand and squeezed your cheeks for you to spit it out into his other hand. You do as he instructed but you could already feel your skin becoming itchy and your throat constricting.

“119,” you manage out.

“Huh?” Felix said now starting to worry at the scene before him.

“Call 119!” Lee Know yelled, following behind you as you ran to your room. You slip and stumbled into the living room catching the attention of Han and Jeongin, as they were the only two inside the apartment besides the three of you. Both of them looked confused as they saw you and Lee Know running, shortly followed by Felix who was on the phone. It took them a split second to decide to go after you all.

You were wheezing and coughing as time went on. You had kept your epi-pen safely secured in your bag in case of emergencies. Shaky were your hands as you took out the familiar yellow tube. Lee Know saw and took it from you as you laid against the bed, you could just vaguely hear Felix and Han on the phone with the paramedics as Lee Know and Jeongin struggled to read the pen.

You grabbed Lee Know’s hand and mimed a stabbing motion into your leg, he noticed how weak your grasp was. Understanding, yet horrified, he took the cap off and immediately stabbed the orange side down into your thigh through the pajama pants you had on. The click and instant relief in your throat letting you know it worked.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Lee Know stayed with you in the hospital after the paramedics arrived to take you there. The other members found out from a freaked out Felix, Han and Innie and immediately tried to visit you. Lee Know stopped them from coming, wanting you to rest and not be bombarded with everyone at once. He knew it wasn’t possible but he always double checked that the food the hospital nurses brought in for you contained no traces of peanuts or walnuts.

It would be years later during a random SKZ CODE involving food that Lee Know would go ballistic because a staff member would fill the snack table with Gilim brand honey butter peanut snacks. You hadn’t even checked yet what was available to eat when he stormed onto the set and took all the snacks out of the room and into the men’s restroom to throw away just to make sure you wouldn’t go anywhere near them.

Yes, Lee Know was quiet when he wanted to be, but when he was making sure you were safe and alive, he could get fiercely protective.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

One would think Han would be loud with his actions when it came to caring for others. Probably yelling or laughing in some shape or form. But that’s not usually the case, he was more quiet in a sense.

Jisung was not one to draw attention to himself, his anxiety didn’t allow him to do that. Not one to take credit where credit was due for those instances. Slyly as he did it, like it was just second nature for him to do.

Knowing him, it probably was, too.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You first found out about one of the little habits the young rapper had when at a different fan sign than your first. This time you were seated at the front of the line, the first to greet STAYs and Han happily sat between you and Chan.

You’d been fiddling with a sharpie in your hand from the nerves, since they never really went away no matter how many times you’d done this, so much that it had ended up slipping from your grasp and dropping onto the floor. When you had bent down to get it and back up, the crowd of fans were awing loudly. Turning to Han to figure out what had happened, you found he was in a deep conversation with Channie.

The fan meet started soon after that so you never had the opportunity to ask what happened.

When the fan cams got uploaded later on that night, it was then when you remembered what you had wanted to ask. Pulling up the feed, you quickly found the reason why STAYs were going crazy. You couldn’t help but smile at the scene on the screen.

While mid conversation with Channie, Jisung had reached over to your corner of the table and blocked the edge for you to not hit yourself. Only to then remove it as soon as the top of your head cleared the table.

Never once did he look in your direction. Just naturally moved his hand in place and back out again. It made you giddy enough to rewatch it three times afterwards.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The next time his protective/gentlemanly nature popped out was after a MAMA performance. The stylists had decided to put you in a skirt with new heels to dance in which made you uncomfortable to do the choreography in. Somehow though, you’d managed to give a decent performance and as you were coming down from the stage, flashes from a variety of media outlets were going off everywhere.

Hyunjin had made sure to hold your hand and arm for stability when coming down the glossy steps. Jisung was very cool as he took off his coat and stepped down in front of the two of you. In one smooth motion, he turned around and opened the cloth to block the view of your legs from the cameras gazes. It was only a few steps downward but it meant a lot. Even when on floor level, he made sure to wrap his jack around you, not that it would fit completely, Mr. 70 cm waist and all, but it was the thought that counted.

“Thank you Ji,” you chuckle out.

But as always, he didn’t say anything about his actions, just smiled brightly, eyes disappearing behind his cheeks, and continued on to your table where Seungmin stood waiting for you to give you a blanket he acquired from somewhere.

Jisung insisted you keep his coat for the remainder of the night if you happened to feel cold at some point. You never did with the blanket on your lap, but you still kept it close by.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It was on a trip to an early morning location shoot that something happened again. Instead of separate vehicles, everyone had been piled into a big van together. You had the fortune to sit by the window with Jisung to your left by the aisle.

As you were dozing in and out of consciousness, a few of the others were talking quietly amongst themselves. You had tried to join them at one point mid-conversation but your words were slurred and they giggled at your groggy state, urging you to go back to sleep.

You were the process of shifting in your seat to lay your head on Jisung’s shoulder when the driver called back to the group. Your auditory processors were not working well to understand what was being said since you were so out of it, but in the next moment Jisung had thrown his arm over your chest to prevent you from going forward as the van came to quick halt.

You jolted awake as you all pitched forward in your seats. Stopping only because of the seatbelts.

“Ji?” you cried out, scared at the sudden disruption to your less than perfect slumber. Grabbing ahold of his arm in a panic, he quickly turned to calm you down.

“No, it’s ok, you’re ok.”

“Is everyone else ok?”

“Yeah, everyone’s fine, you’re fine.”

Obviously, you couldn’t go back to sleep after that, no matter how much Jisung tried to reassure you. Stopping like that would happen one more time on that trip, something to do with bad breaks, you weren’t too sure. It may not have been as rough as the first time, but Jisung made sure to hold you back with his arm once again.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Han Jisung was the type of man to block the sharp corner of the cabinet so you wouldn’t bump your head and act like he didn’t do it. The type of man to use his jacket to block your lower body when in a dress at an award show. And the type of man that, if you were sitting next to him in a car, he’d stick his arm out in front of you to protect you.

Jisung was the type of protector that would want no praise nor commotion for anything he’d done. Because it was just natural for him.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Hyunjin was funny in a way. For all the times he’s claimed he didn’t like skinship, mans was sure clingy. The amount of times he would pull a disgusted face whenever anyone was near him only to be all over them not even ten minutes later was hilarious to you.

Yet there were times, though, when he needed to grab on to you, not for skinship, but to make sure you were in his line of sight at all times. Even surrounded by bodyguards it wasn’t as safe as you thought it could be.

An incident in the past had led Hyunjin to be more aware of where you were in an airport, wanting to be on the more cautious side than anything. Hyunjin became your official unofficial airport buddy after that.

And he took his new role in your life very seriously.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

When you and the boys arrived back in Korea from visiting Chan and Felix’s families in Australia, the crowd that awaited you was not something the group was prepared for.

Later on you would all learn that someone had leaked your flight information online. Which in itself was already a scary thing to think about, but the amount of people that had been waiting for you all had just been overwhelming.

By this point in time, you had grown closer to them all, a far cry from how it was when you had first joined that was for sure. Enough to be able to fight them for a piece of meat on the first round.

Typically, when arriving at Incheon airport, you’d end up walking in the back with Chan and Hyunjin. That was just how it naturally occurred. Yet with the amount of people surrounding you, you had lost sight of them easily. You could vaguely spot the blond hair that belonged to Felix but he was too far away to reach, and no amount of yelling would do you any good since the crowd had that covered.

Looking back and forth, you were on the verge of panicking since you didn’t even see your own guard near you, another casualty to the swarm of people. When a sudden tug on your hoodie pulled at you to the right. Scared, you were about to fight for your life. Your arm was already pulled back, ready to swing at whoever tried to grab at you. Those self-defense classes Binnie had you in was about to come out. Cause baby, you were not the one.

Only, you noticed Hyunjin’s shaggy hair just in time.

He stared at you for a second, eyes going wide above the face mask that he wore, at what you were about to do.

“…Come on, let’s go,” he said eventually, incredulously shaking his head at you. You tried not to giggle at his reaction but it was just so hard not to. “Everyone’s already ahead of us.”

“Really?” you asked, now worried about what could have happened as you lagged behind. Agreeing quickly, you took a step forward until he tugged you back again. With a questioning look, you turned back to him.

“It’s this way pabo,” the amusement in his voice was clear throughout all the yelling in the area. He threw his arm over your head in a headlock and dragged you toward the direction you needed to go.

“Hyunjinnie~,” you groaned out, your head tilted at an awkward angle.

“This is for your own protection. We don’t need you getting lost right now.”

“I get lost at an airport one (1) time and everyone holds it over my head for the rest of my life.”

All he could do is cackle.

Eventually he did let go of your head once the both of you made it back with the group. The guards finally doing their job in securing a circle around you all.

“Did she go and get lost again?” Seungmin joked while trying to hide a smile.

“She was about to,” Hyun replied, making sure he still held onto a part of your hoodie.

“I was not,” you said while giving Hyunjin his own signature look of disgust.

“Aigoo, if you keep making that face, it’s gonna get stuck like that,” he teased while pinching your cheek. You swatted his hand away from your face, soothing over where he pinched, him and Seungmin laughed in response.

Following along with everyone, you could still feel his light grip on your clothing. As if he was afraid that you’d somehow disappear if he were to let go. In all honesty, his actions did bring you some form of comfort while in the throng of people. Like your own personal grounding anchor.

He continued to hold onto you until you made it out of the airport. With all the media around, you all were forced to do an impromptu press conference welcoming you back in the parking lot. Hyunjin made sure that you were next to him and that your clothes weren’t a total mess after the long ten hour flight.

“STEP OUT! ANNYEONGHASEYO STRAY KIDS-IMNIDA!,” you all shouted out and bowed to the crowd before you. The fans behind the paparazzies went wild. You all did the appropriate amount of waving and smiling but you just wanted to go home and collapse into bed already.

When a tug on your sleeve caught your attention, Hyunjin gestured that it was time to go once again. He’d pulled his face mask down to take pictures so you could tell he was really smiling this time. Pulling you along, he was sure to put you in the middle of the group so that there was no possible way of you getting lost.

And if he still felt he needed to be connected to you in some way, well who were you to deny the ferret? He was just looking out for his member, that was all. They were prone to getting lost, it had happened before, he just didn’t want to deal with the aftermath like that again.

It wasn’t good for his heart. Don’t do it again, please.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Yeah, you just didn’t understand how people could say that Hyun liked skinship and physical touch. He’s just not that type of person and there have surely been no instances whatsoever in your life as an idol where he had proved you wrong about it.

Absolutely none, and whoever said so was indeed a liar.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Being around Felix was very easy. When it was just the two of you it was a nice and cozy feeling. Nothing ever felt rushed or like you had to try too hard to be near each other, maybe it was because you were both foreigners experiencing the idol life together.

Who knows.

But when you threw in your other members, all the cozy feelings went out of the window and it was like a chaotic mess was left in its place.

And when he had to essentially play a modified version of keep away with you as the main item, well then of course all hell would break loose.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Noona, we have to run!” Felix yelled as he ran back towards you, giant grin on his face. You could just make out his cameraman behind him trying to catch up with the energetic sunshine boy and behind him your other members chased Felix down.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Just like BTS did, Lotte Duty Free allowed Stray Kids to use a floor for the location of the next SKZ CODE. The premise was that while all nine of you were there, only the boys were supposed to find various items that were hidden around the entire floor to recreate the names of their songs.

Once it got presented to the manager-nim in charge of the game or specific staff members, the others could no longer use that same item. You, on the other hand, were supposed to be Ghost, a wild card that made up one song entirely. Technically you could be whatever song you wanted but the points were just doubled if they had you on their roster at the end of the 3 hour mark. Just like the staff members playing, you also were to run around except your goal was to not get caught. Because of that, you had to be turned in last.

Each guy had been given specific color cloths to tie around your wrist to “claim” you as their point. Only one person could claim you at a time and stealing items from each other had been allowed. So, say you got caught by someone with a black cloth, if you had a green one on when they did, they could remove it and put their color on instead. The only rule to claim you as a point was that you had to be brought to the main manager at the end when time was called to count.

Each of your cameramen had been given a walkie-talkie so that everyone could know if and when their cloths were removed or the time remaining. You had been given a 15 minute head start to run around and hide, your own cameraman following behind you.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Time had been close to being called, about ten minutes left you had heard on the radio. You’d been caught a few times only to be able to escape not long afterwards. Changbin had found you first, securing a cute pink cloth around your wrist. Lee Know found you afterwards, purple cloth replacing the pink. It would be a long time until Innie’s white cloth replaced Lee Know’s.

Hyunjin and Chan had found you together but you managed to escape both of them before either could swap your color out. While running from them, you had made eye contact with Seungmin but were able to evade him when you ran into a darkened area. That was where you subsequently ran into Felix and scared the absolute shit out of each other.

Now the two of you listened on as your cameraman, Seoyul, announced that you now adorned the yellow team cloth. All four of you walked calmly to where the manager-nim was.

“I’m getting nervous Lix,” you said, trying to contain your energy, adrenaline kicked in your system as the game was coming to an end.

“Why?” the same giddy energy flowed out of him since he was close to winning.

“It’s quiet, too quiet. You don’t think something could go wrong?”

“Why would you jinx it!?” he shouted in exasperation, not realizing how loud he actually was. All of you paused in motion, listening to figure out if any of the others heard you. Your eyes the only thing rapidly moving to scan your surroundings as the both of you stood frozen. When nothing happened, you two continued on until you reached where the manager was supposed to be waiting.

But if video games had taught either of you a thing or two, it was what a trap would feel like.

“Ok, you wait here, and I’m gonna go check if the coast is clear. I promise, I won’t let them come near you got it?,” he whispered as you nod along to what he said.

He snuck on ahead, his cameraman trailing behind him as you stood there, waiting for his return. Not even five seconds later he came bounding round the corner at full speed, laughing maniacally.

“Noona, we have to run!” Felix yelled as he ran back towards you, giant grin on his face. You could just make out his cameraman behind him trying to catch up with the energetic boy and behind him your other members chased Felix down.

He didn’t stop as he grabbed your hand in his and took off in the opposite direction. You could just make out the others yelling for the both of you over yours and Felix’s laughter.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Felix had made sure that he kept a steady grip on your hand while running away. Never once pulling you too hard or running too fast for you to keep up. If both of you were hiding, he’d urge you forward first gently and then covered you so you couldn’t be seen.

“Noona, get down here,” he said as he made his way to hide in a department store behind a rack of clothing near the entrance. Huddling close, he gestured with his finger to keep quiet. You do as he said, grin still in place as you looked at each other, the pounding footsteps of the others not that far behind.

“They turned in here,” I.N could be heard saying close to where you were hidden.

“No, they went this way,” Changbin argued a distance away.

“I think Innie is right,” Seungmin put his two cents in.

“Let’s just split up,” Chan butted in democratically. “Half go in here with I.N and the others can follow Binnie. We don’t have a lot of time left.”

Miraculously, they all agreed and you could hear them split off.

“You sure they went this way?” you heard Chan ask.

“Like 75%...?” I.N responded.

“75%??” Seungmin shouted in response.

Felix grabbed your attention by taking a hold of your hand and gestured with his head to follow him. Quietly, the two of you scooted around the rack just as the group of boys walked by. When it seemed like the right time, you and Felix took off, his foot kicking something and alerted the others of your fleeing forms.

“Let’s go, Noona!”

“There they go!”

“After them!”

“See, I told you they came in here!”

The excitement and elation was clear in their tone of voice. You and Felix ran and screamed hand in hand to the safe zone. At one point, he had to let go to let you run by yourself so he could distract the others. Just as you made it, out of breath, Felix toppled in and crashed into you. Stummbling forward into the room, Felix could be heard yelling loudly, “I did it! I brought her in! I win!”

Groans from behind you was the response. You couldn’t help the cheesy grin on your face or the boisterous laugh that escaped you.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It’s true being with Felix was easy.

But when he’s trying to protect you from the others he’s lively and was contagious for everyone involved. That’s just how your little jellybean was.

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overleftdown · 9 months

Text

this is going to be my somewhat-brief analysis (buckle in, it's not brief at all) of preluding scenes to farleigh and olivers... scene, lmao. because i can't read micro-expressions and social cues IRL, but i can for movies! also, i want to give my understanding of farleigh's character using the most substantial part of his arc. i disagree so much with a lot of people's takes on farleigh. i needed to talk extensively about it.

[0:58:46] farleigh makes eye contact with a footman. this is one of the footmen that farleigh mentions to felix in a later scene, which i'll also go into. what's interesting about this subtle interaction is how wildly differently you could consider it, depending on how you choose to view farleigh as a character. if you go the "mirror of oliver," route, then this eye contact could be the moment farleigh decides the route he's going to take to confront felix.

on the other hand, the hand that i believe makes more sense, farleigh is genuine in his confrontation with felix. the eye contact he shares with the footman is reciprocated; the footman holds it, even as his body pulls back and his head turns. this gives the idea that they are making a connection. the expression farleigh makes afterwards is also an indication that farleigh isn't plotting or scheming to earn pity points; he feels a connection and comradery with the only other black people at saltburn. when the footman turns away, unneeded anymore (this can be a parallel to farleigh), farleigh glances down, back up, then purses his lips. he looks dejected, in my opinion. this is immediately followed by farleigh's dig at oliver; "i think oliver looks like he'd rather throw himself out of a window.

food for thought.

[0:59:9] elsbeth: you can invite all your friends. farleigh: what friends?

this can obviously be a petty dig. and it is, in some ways. but i think a lot of these petty digs are because farleigh has been here before. he has watched his cousin drag home mediocre and tragic (presumably) white boys for perceived self-benefit. whether felix wants entertainment, wants to quell his guilty conscious (both of which are motivations for his mother), felix seems to have these fleeting possessive relationships with the friends he brings back to saltburn. he could also be queer and deeply repressed, lmfao.

i digress; farleigh is sick and tired. the first thing he says to oliver, before oliver even got to felix, was bitchy as all hell. after that, farleigh had more incentive to belittle oliver; yes, his comments about mannerisms, class, and overall character were petty. they were also all of the qualities that farleigh couldn't afford to have. farleigh is pointing out that oliver has no social life, yet still gets a 200-person party full of people that don't even know his name. this is tragically unfair, at least in farleigh's mind.

[1:01:25] felix: and fucking farleigh, what a little shit stirrer. oliver: well, someone has to entertain us all. felix: ...right. oliver: that's why we love him.

there's a clear disregard of humanity and depth, when felix concedes that farleigh is "entertainment." the sheer fact that felix would immediately believe oliver, a "stranger (as venetia so eloquently puts)" over a close family member, is odd on it's own. there are probably more reasons for distrust; everyone in saltburn is a shit stirrer, and farleigh does put on a particularly good show.

that's intentional, though. farleigh is very intentionally entertainment. otherwise, why would the cattons keep him around? they're welcoming people to their house as family, because they want a break from the reality of soul sucking wealth. because they want entertainment. elsbeth with her friend, who's only real personality traits are being pitiful and visibly different. felix, with his summer pet projects like oliver. farleigh can't be a temporary show; he needs to keep coming back. he needs sir james to support his mother.

[1:02:40] farleigh: i'm not saying my mother isn't completely idiotic when it comes to money. felix: you just have to be firm with her. farleigh: well i can't call her and tell her no! felix: i know, i know, you've said that. i know, i understand. farleigh: no, you don't know! you don't, it's humiliating. felix: it's very hard.

felix's approach to discussing other people's issues--that he does not relate to--makes me giggle sometimes. not that he's malicious or a fumbling idiot, but because of this scene specifically. in just this chunk of dialogue, you have the "i understand" and "you don't understand" conflict. an age old one. a common representation of someone who has never lived a specific struggle yet frames themselves as knowledgeable. felix seems to enjoy the "it's very hard" verbiage. the manner in which he speaks to oliver about his supposed impoverishment and struggles is very similar to the way he speaks to farleigh, in this scene.

i don't know what else to say about this. you can make your own inferences on felix's dialogue, i suppose.

[1:02:50] farleigh: i'm sorry, but it's a bit fucking shitty. you're all throwing oliver a party for 200 people while my mother lives in squalor. felix: well, she's hardly living in squalor, mate. farleigh: well she can't pay her bills so she will be! okay? at the rate she's going, she will be.

GAH. again, this dialogue can be considered in two different ways. farleigh could be hyperbolizing in order to play into the catton savior complex. or he could be completely genuine in his anxiety surrounding his mother's finances. it's very important that you recognize the fact that farleigh isn't arguing about himself, in this situation. he's talking about his mother. later in the conversation, he recenters himself as a person of color. but the original conflict is about whether or not his mom is living comfortably. this arguably affects him, but not entirely. he could continue to maintain his oxford-student-and-saltburn-resident character and continue to frolic around while his mom struggles to make responsible decisions.

[1:03:02] felix: right, well that's exactly why dads concerned about helping her. he doesn't want to enable her. he wants her to learn how to stand on her own two feet. farleigh: yeah, like he does?

and farleigh ate.

[1:03:09] farleigh: i mean, you know how this looks, right? making me come to you with a begging bowl. felix: what are you implying? farleigh: i think you know what i'm implying, felix. why don't you ask liam and joshua? felix: who... who the fuck are liam and joshua!? farleigh: ...your footmen.

farleigh's mannerisms in this portion of the scene GAG me. the easy confidence, the self-assured and confrontational attitude. the cocky wave of his shoulders and tilt of his head. he smirks, scoffs, makes and holds eye contact as emphasis to what he is accusing. the way he says "i think you know what i'm implying" even though i'm not quite sure if felix did. this really hammers in the implicit nature of the cattons' treatment of farleigh.

[1:03:33] felix: oh, oh. that is... that is low, farleigh. farleigh: okay. felix: jesus christ, mate! seriously, is that where you wanna take this!? farleigh: right. felix: make it a race thing!? what the fuck! i mean, we're your family, we hardly even notice that you're... different, or anything like that! farleigh: mmm. felix: i never know our footmen's names!

GAGGED. i eat up this scene and lick my fingers. "wohohoho, i don't see color! i can't believe you'd make it a race thing!" i know i should cut felix some slack, but this is just a little too real. although i've cut farleigh some slack for his classism.

the complete change in farleigh's mannerisms from the previous timestamp to this one is EDIBLE. i can't cope with it. his smile as felix says "that is low" is so painfully real. it says "i've been here before and maybe i was expecting this." for a second, felix is almost entertainingly cliche. then the exasperation hits. farleigh just looks tired. he blinks rapidly, smooths over his eyebrow with his hand, vocalizes his disbelief in felix's denial. "we hardly even notice you're different," to which farleigh crosses his arms (defensive), raises his eyebrows, nods along.

i won't include the final few lines of this conversation cuz i'm blabbing FAR too much, but farleigh's expressions of absolutely exhaustion and disappointment as felix says they've "been more generous then most"... i'm so sick. it doesn't matter what other families would do, because this family passes out charity like it's their favorite pastime. farleigh is your best american girl.

oliver, overhearing this conversation, immediately knows what his next plan of action is. compare himself to farleigh. and really, it's funny, because oliver misses the obvious differences between him and farleigh. just like everyone else. he will never feel different, not in the same way farleigh does. not with farleigh's relationship to the cattons, the legacy of his parents, and his blackness.

[1:06:32] (godfather's karaoke scene, AKA apple bottom jeans. he's a disgusting manchild and he throws his jacket at his wife.) is it odd to point out that another one of the only visible black characters is being degraded/mistreated/disregarded? not crazy, right? especially following the conversation about bias two scenes ago.

[1:07:02] farleigh: y'know, i think i'd fuck richard the III. he's so insecure, so you'd know he'd put in the work, right? oliver: or you could just fuck me, right?

here, i think there's a level of projection that farleigh is using in his line about insecurity. not only is it made known that farleigh uses sex as a tool (with teachers, specifically), but it's also made known that farleigh believes/knows that he is treated differently due to his race and/or family history. oliver seems to have clocked this, considering he relates himself to richard the III, then tells farleigh they have similar experiences.

[1:07:34] oliver: y'know, if you ever wanna talk to anyone, you can talk to me, farleigh. farleigh: ...what do you mean? oliver: well, i know you're going through a hard time at home. i know how that feels, when things are so precarious. it's terrifying... and lonely. and it must be so fucking weird, having to ask them for everything. and i know you fucking hate me. farleigh: i... i don't hate you. oliver: but... if you ever wanted me to talk to them, to see if there's... if i can help in any way... just ask. farleigh: ...okay.

i love this movie. have i said that yet? i bet you definitely couldn't tell by this post. this conversation is so... there's so much to talk about.

i'll start with some of my favorite of farleigh's mannerisms/expressions. when oliver first cuts their... tensions with "you can talk to me," farleigh pulls back slightly, sits up slightly, looks across oliver's face. there's a level of shock to it, but. farleigh was comfortable with oliver, his sworn enemy, flirting with him. yet, he pulled back at a genuine offer of support. some see this as farleigh always wanting oliver sexually, but i think it's more nuanced than that. when oliver says "terrifying... and lonely" that's when the camera cuts back to farleigh. he previously wore a half-smile that is now dropping; "lonely" was the hardest word to swallow. his lip is quivering. he looks up in an almost-eye roll when he says, "i don't hate you." he's laughing when oliver finishes, like he finds it all funny, yet the way he says "okay" makes him seem genuine. however... clearly not, considering the next portion of this scene!

even though oliver is lying out of his ass, everything he's saying is a description of farleigh. people grossly misunderstand farleigh's character, even when it's laid onto a banquette sized table through this portion of the movie. he's insecure, desperate, terrified, unsure, and lonely. farleigh, with so many friends and so many scandalous choices, is so fucking lonely. he knows he doesn't belong here, so he jams his ill-fitting puzzle piece into the saltburn jigsaw and crosses his fingers.

he tells oliver he doesn't hate him, and he looks like he's struggling to spit it out. he looks up towards the ceiling, closes his eyes like he's gathering himself. again, people take this as a bonding moment. the next portion of the scene contradicts this. honestly, i'm not completely sure, either. i think he's honest when he says he doesn't hate oliver. so, what? he's jealous, definitely. he wants to hold the same power as oliver, a foreign entity with somehow so much more privilege than farleigh. maybe that bred a certain kind of infatuation; the need to emulate what you'll never be. of course, he sees himself in the boys felix brings home; they, just like farleigh, need or want something from the cattons (although i object to the idea that farleigh is somehow "a mirror" of oliver). do what you will with this word vomit, i don't know where i'm going here.

and OH MY GOD "if you ever wanted me to talk to them, to see if there's... if i can help in any way," is diabolical. so terribly diabolical. the sheer idea that oliver knows, is pummeling it into farleigh's face, that he has authority over farleigh's life like that? that he knew felix for six months and he can somehow "talk to" farleigh's family about treating farleigh better... vomit inducing. farleigh is actually your best american girl.

[1:09:39] (karaoke scene) elsbeth, so uncomfortable with the idea that oliver is using them. i suppose that's the manner of wealthy people; they don't want to believe that they're only good for their money. but... they did that to themselves, in a way. they enjoy the pet projects, the charity work, the ego boost that comes with inviting the "lesser" to saltburn. hanjob on a haybale, golden big boy summer, right? everyone in the room is scandalized. farleigh is having the time of his fucking life. yet, here's the kicker,

[1:10:10] oliver: this is your song too, farleigh. come finish it. farleigh: only if you insist!

and then farleigh gives the performance of his life, by the way. people died. but... nobody is uncomfortable. literally no one. no one shudders or gasps at the scandal of oliver saying "this is your song, too" over the karaoke microphone; everyone heard. nobody cares. they all know. they start clapping farleigh on, cheering. elsbeth relaxes back onto her bed of cushions, because farleigh is entertaining. the change in mood is soooo... interesting.

[1:10:45] curse this scene, i don't even want to talk about it. it was hot, oliver and farleigh are so homoerotic, whatever yadayada. just like every other sexual scene in this movie, it is riddled with a suffocating kind of uncomfortable tension. we are made intimate third-party witnesses to carnal, sinful, emotionally ambiguous scenes. when i pointed out farleigh seemed more comfortable with flirting then comfort, when i said farleigh uses sex as a tool, when i said farleigh was projecting with "he's so insecure, so you know he'd put in the work." i just overthink. but any person that has sexual relationships with teachers needs intensive therapy and that cannot be denied. however, it's oliver, that uses sex as a tool throughout this movie. another uncomfortable parallel between the two characters.

something about farleigh's expression throughout this scene is... kind of hurtful. the way the moonlight just barely illuminates the light in his eyes, whereas any detail of oliver's face is shrouded in darkness. it make's farleigh look young, innocent, real. (sidenote, as i'm watching, i have to mention this. the way farleigh says that second "no" is so funny. "...no...?" LMFAO). man, i don't even know what to say, past this. the whole dominant dynamic, farleigh saying "i'm going to behave" is a little too painful considering the context leading up to this scene. it's freaky. it's so very oliver.

this is way too long but i could make so many more connections with their final confrontation at oliver's birthday party. i'm drowning in thoughts. what i really wanted to highlight was how ambiguous farleigh's character is, and how differently a lot of his scenes can be perceived. i've decided that farleigh is a sympathetic character, similar to oliver but so much less powerful. some people hate farleigh! so. there's that. the end! thanks to anyone who read this whole thing!

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