#microwave-radiation

[microwave-radiation]

Muppet Dracula casting

[cemeterything]

seeing the chernobyl fanfiction ask i got last month on my dash again and while i have never and will never write chernobyl fanfiction i feel like i might as well confess that i used to play littlest pet shop nuclear fallout disaster rp as a kid (nobody lives/everybody dies, graphic descriptions of radiation poisoning) so like anon wasn't that far off i guess

[gunpowder-tim]

I cannot BELIEVE that you would rotate Bertie in your head. That man has trauma regarding microwaves and microwaves rotate people. You are clearly intolerant of people's trauma and you should be ashamed of yourself. Get off the internet. And stop romanticized Gunpowder Tim he killed people

anon i am in love with you

[breadandblankets]

duke, heading into the kitchen:

doug, watching from the couch as the kitchen suddenly starts lighting up like someone is arc welding in there:

duke, walking out with a steaming mug of tea:

doug, turning to elaine who is doing a sudoku with her legs thrown over his lap: "your son-"

elaine, raising an eyebrow: "My son?"

doug: "He's your son when he does something freaky."

[whumppmuhw]

*takes your tiny cold whumpee and microwaves them*

[puppyeared]

Radioactive

[bytedykes]

im joking when i say modern kitchen appliances would fix pidw binghe but probably not as much as i should be

[chronically-ghosted]

Y’all… attempting to work on a prompt request about dieter a week before my uterus gets back-handed by Mother Nature … has got me thinking Daddy Dieter headcanons and i … 🥵😮‍💨😵‍💫

please send ur thots and prayers during this trying time ✌🏻

[meownotgood]

he is constantly spinning in circles in my brain like he is inside of a microwave

[microwave-radiation]

If I had a nickel for every webcomic I've read with a hot-nonbinary-ocean-satan villain, I'd have two nickels

[applejongho]

reminder that jongho had a glock in the crazy form mv. also a suit and wet hair. goodnight everyone

[prussianmemes]

[klanced]

shiro would be the guy to believe that if you put the oven on twice as hot the cooking gets done twice as fast. efficiency.

I once fucked up two servings of oatmeal this way 😔

[potted-dandelions]

Imagine a greatly simplified universe containing just one lonely spiral galaxy with a supermassive black hole at its center. The outer edge of the universe is constantly expanding outward while the black hole is constantly devouring the galaxy.

All known physical laws apply here. Importantly, the laws of thermodynamics apply so no matter or energy can be created. The black hole at the center will eventually consume all matter while the universal edge will eventually grow to surround the black hole with an infinite expanse of empty space. Then, heat death.

The black hole will eventually evaporate all of its mass away as Hawking radiation and, having successfully cooled all matter down into pure energy, it will blink out of being and the inner terminus of the universe will pop like a soap bubble, its once-massive energy fully spent.

But long before the heat death of the universe, the galaxy will swirl around for billions of years with its inner bulk imploding as though being consumed from within while its outer fringes are simultaneously compressed from without, the very space itself expanding around it. We actually observe something like this effect in other galaxies throughout our own universe. Most galaxies appear to rotate much faster than their apparent mass would allow, so they would seem to have some hidden mass we call dark matter because its existence can only be inferred.

At the same time, some inferred force is also causing the space in between galaxies to expand without actually stretching it, as though new threads are being woven into the fabric of spacetime itself, causing the distance between distant galaxies to naturally increase over time. Cosmologists estimate that this dark energy accounts for the bulk of all mass/energy in the universe, exceeding even dark matter which itself greatly exceeds all observable matter and energy.

But perhaps dark matter is merely a fictious force, an emergent property of dark energy. For although dark energy appears to act only upon empty space whilst dark matter affects gravitationally-bound matter, maybe the only reason dark matter is dark is because it's not matter at all, it's simply the observable effect of dark energy compressing galaxies from outside.

Ultimately, dark energy will expand the empty space between distant galaxies so rapidly that not even light will have enough time to span the gap, meaning distant galaxies will disappear from each other's perspectives and casual observers will see that their galaxy exists alone. So my original proposal isn't so far fetched. It is, in fact, the fate of our own galaxy—and all the other gravitationally-bound galaxies within the Local Group subsequent to their eventual merger with ours. Our distant ancestors may yet occupy a lonely galaxy in a dark void.

As the matter in our Local Group is gradually consumed by the supermassive black hole named Sagittarius A* (read eh-star), objects approaching the event horizon will undergo 'spaghettification' stretching. Even solid objects will be drawn down into threads of matter just one atom thick. Each thread will constitute a one-bit matter stream, yet each bit will preserve the information it carried with it from the farthest reaches of the galaxy. In a sense, the surface of the event horizon measures the state of incoming matter and records that data holographically.

Information, as it happens, is equivalent to energy, comparable to the way matter and energy are mutually exchangeable, so it is therefore bound by the laws of thermodynamics. Information can only be sorted and garbled, never created nor destroyed, not even by a black hole.

Eventually, the holographic information about all the matter that has fallen into a black hole will evaporate away from the event horizon, bit by random bit, as Hawking radiation. Each bit will carry a small amount of the black hole's mass away with it, causing it to shrink. The cosmic microwave background radiation, although too dim and too red-shifted to be seen by human eyes, is still bright and warm enough for now to counteract the paltry Hawking radiation emitted by even very small black holes, so no black hole will be evaporating away anytime soon.

But picture the universe from a singularity's point of view. The holographic image recorded upon the surface of the event horizon is a stained-glass window as seen from the other side, and the scenes it depicts are perfect memories of everything that ever happened in the galaxy. Those images are greatly distorted by the gravitational forces and spaghettification to which all matter succumbed as it plunged into the universal abyss, but with corrective lenses, even gravitational astigmatism may be undone and the holograph's finest details can be revealed.

If a mind could dance upon the surface of the event horizon, watching matter streams go by like a channel-surfer looking for something to watch on T.V., such a mind might be able to perceive the former goings and doings of individual creatures long dead on distant worlds. From the singularity's perspective, this black hole dweller aims the corrective scope at the precise azimuth and elevation to view life from anybody's perspective while turning the focus wheel to scrub through their timeline. The focus wheel would in fact be a time-focus wheel.

Only a godlike mind could conceivably correct such severe distortion, but for all we know, that mind sees the inside of the event horizon projected upon the outside of a globe like an interactive, rewindable recording of real-time satellite feeds in a Google Earth VR interface.

And for all we know, our own minds are peering through such scopes, only the azimuth and elevation is fixed and the focus wheel is motorized so that we experience everything through but one human's perspective along a fixed and finite timeline. What a depressing fate indeed.

The part of me that believes in the free agency of the the soul rejects the implications, but my mind is open to the idea that we're watching events unfold in reverse, that the focus wheel is rolling backwards, and that the black hole is really a white hole spewing information. In that case, we are perceiving the outcomes of our decisions before we make them, guiding us to make the choices that we must in order for our perceived selves to survive from the moment of our death to the moment of our inevitable birth when we will finally avert our gaze.

Thus are we able to predict the past while remembering the future, but with the focus wheel turning backwards, our perception of causality is reversed, making us think we are predicting the future while remembering the past. This part of the plan will be rather controversial.

The heat death of the universe is going to take a very, very long time to reach its conclusion, yet we only have until then to observe everything that has ever mattered throughout all of spacetime. When the soap bubble pops, we're out on our own with the information we collected.

[mondaymelon]

happy spoopy day guys!!

its snowing where i live. we were promised six fucking inches ohhh what the fuck. well im back. i couldnt physically feel anything in my fingers for the past. i dont know. four hours or so.

we silly tho. we bopping. we all good

anyways eat well tonight loves

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

At what point in the first six days did God create the Cosmic Microwave Background?

Probably when he was hiding all the fossils while he was waiting for his burrito to finish microwaving.