#middle one is her work / home district outfit (i also have this outfit but it’s also a really good victorian style one too) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kahlanmars · 7 months

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PAPER RINGS part.4

So here we are, with another chapter, and now I wanted you to cry. Did you cry? I HOPE SO. Plus, our favorite Four boy is here!

MASTERLIST

4. I was screaming “Go, go go!”

FIVE MONTHS BEFORE CAPITOL

«Do you think Katniss will come to dinner?» You ask, chopping the last vegetables on the plate. You are not a great cook, Haymitch is definitely better when he is in the right mood, but today he spent the morning chopping wood - a great sight you might add, sweats on his shirtless chest - and you don’t want him to do everything.

«No, I don’t think so, from what I’ve gathered she wants to spend dinner on the phone with her sister.» Katniss can’t legally go to her sister in District One. Or Two, you don’t remember, you only remember that Mrs. Everdeen has been kind of a bitch about it. You understand it’s not easy for her to see her house being destroyed, the very same house she used to live with her husband, and Prim on a wheelchair has been the last straw, but at the same time she has two daughters, not one. Katniss is almost an adult, but by the way she always bargains in your home with an excuse she feels lonely without a parent. Hell, sometimes you miss Holly at home. Lora often tells you how Chaff has been fundamental for her in the months after the Games, he became a parental figure for her, helping her crisis. And she is young, but an adult.

Katniss is a teenager who killed a dictator, she needs a mom.

«Oh. So sad.» You beam at the kiss on the head Haymitch gives you. «So does that mean we don’t have to do anything today?»

«Not more than usual, no.» And you’ve done the usual. You cleaned, you removed the dust, you fed the disgusting birds. You are still recovering and he doesn’t even want you to do this, but you don’t want to feel useless.

«Can we snuggle up and watch a movie?» You propose, as you feel two strong arms around your hips. He doesn’t like Capitol movies, but you love them. And there is no such thing as a Twelve movie, so he better get used to them. You adore romantic films and he snorts all the time, but they put you in a romantic mood so he bears them if it means hot sex after the movie session.

«I have a better idea, tell me how you do what you do.» He proposes. You watch him, a little confused.

«What do I do?»

He looks at you like you don’t understand basic math. «Your dresses.»

«Really? You want to know that? You’ll be bored.» You don’t think he even knows what you do for a living. He knew better when you were a teacher, because he likes to read - he loves to read - but now you suppose he is in the dark. Sometimes he says you “Want to wear dresses”, and that would make you a model, not a stylist. And he must have some sense of the difference, in all these years of Games, but at that time Effie used to do all the work for him. He just had to show up and suffer.

«Let me choose if I get bored.» He kisses your knuckles.

You smile brightly, giving up your objections almost immediately. You feel proud that he wants to know you better. «Ok, I’ll show you.»

Five minutes after you are showing him your stuff. Some sketches, most of them are the ones you plan to show Portia, one or two for him. He is a great subject, and you like sketching clothes for him, something with a strong Twelve taste but also fashionable. You sewed him some outfits, and now he doesn’t always wear only a pair of jeans and a shirt, he wears three pairs of jeans and three shirts. Baby steps.

«And how do you begin?» He wants to know, and maybe for the first time he sees you working.

He is usually in the same room as you, but he is always doing something else. Feeding the geese or cooking or cleaning something. Or it’s the middle of the night and he is trying to sleep like the rest of the world, while your mind tells you “That idea is incredible and you have to draw it now or you will lose it!”.

«Well you sketch it, like this, then you make a model and then…» You continue to explain it, and he shows interest. You teach him about the dresses and the blouses, the shoes and the sandals, how to design a zip and what are the difficulties about it.

As you keep on, you find out he is watching you, not the sketches. «What?»

«You are fucking beautiful when you are passionate.» He whispers. He cups your cheek with his big hands. He is so gentle when he wants to, and he rarely wants to (you have bruises in mysterious places to prove that) but his touch can be the touch of a gentleman.

You try not to blush. «Why, thank you.»

«Thank you.» He leans out for another peck.

«For what?»

This time the kiss is deeper, slower. He wants to prove to you that he is here, he is not going away. The scent of pines and woods is intoxicating, it’s the kind of scent you steal sweaters for.

«For being mine.»

PRESENT DAY

It happens in a moment. Haymitch takes a step back and then sees you and freezes. Marjorie looks at you with a guilty expression on her face. Everyone is paralyzed, until Ivy waves her little hand at you. She is adorable in a new pink dress, different from the one before. This baby has more dresses than you.

«Hi, Auntie Daisy!»

You can’t cry in front of a child, so you pat her head and you take your bag.

Don't cry in front of Ivy, she'll think she did something wrong. Don't cry, don't cry.

«Goodbye.» You murmur, and you start running but Haymitch is right behind you. You don't even want to know what he has to say, you don't even care. He cheated on you. Kissing another person is cheating. Dear heavens, he is so jealous he would have killed someone if he was you.

«Daisy please-» He begins but this time you turn around quickly and you have such a murderous expression on your face that he takes a step back. He is a Victor and he adores it to remind you and to everyone else, and maybe you didn’t win anything, but you still survived the Hunger Games. You are a killer just like him, you have blood on your hands and nightmares too. He knows he can’t push it. He knows you are dangerous too and you are in therapy because of that, but therapy is not a miraculous system that cures you in two days.

«You don’t get to say please.» You are raging, and you are actually quite proud of yourself because your first instinct is to chop his head off. The second is to cry out loud, but now it would be showing weakness, and you won’t. The third instinct is, and you are very ashamed of yourself for that, to jump in his arms and forgive him immediately because the mere thought of not having him around is suffocating.

«Let me explain.»

«Did you fall and land on her lips?» You growl, a sound you rarely make.

«She kissed me.» He argues.

«I know. I know she fucking kissed you!» You turn around again, but this time he is faster than you and circles around to face you. «But you let her!»

«No I didn’t, I was surprised, she barged into the house…» That’s another thing to explore. What was Marjorie doing in your house? Oh, wait, it’s his house, just his, not yours. What was Marjorie doing in his house? She magically sensed you two were having a fight or what?

«You were surprised? Surprised? Haymitch, she’s been after you for a whole year, how could you be surprised?» You yell, but now you don’t care. You are giving a pretty show for the village to see. «Do you even want me?»

«What? Of course I want you, Daisy, we have to get married.» We have to. Like it’s something he doesn’t want to do anymore, like it’s an imposition. You defloured the girl, you ruined her and now you have to marry her. Or maybe, maybe you were thrilling at first, the pretty young girl who has a thing for him, and now you are just a boring woman he has to deal with on a daily basis.

«Then why do you spend time with her?»

«She, she needed help. I owed her.» The same fucking excuse all the time. She did it because of me. She lost everything because of me. Well, the entire district lost everything because of you victors and you don’t see him befriend everyone around.

«You are full of shit. So righteous. The great Haymitch Abernathy, the victor!» You shout, like you are introducing him in a show.

«Daisy-» He tries to grab your arm, but you shake it off of you. He can’t take another step in your direction, you can’t be trusted around him. You like him too much, you love him too much, and if you thought you were smart and intelligent, around him you feel like you are too young.

«Where was she when you were drinking? Did she clean you, did she stay with you? No, I did it. I was there. Don’t I deserve it too?»

He should have known better. He should have known that he could have hurt you so much you now feel like you are dying.

«Baby…»

«No Daisy, no baby and don’t you dare call me Sweetheart. I love you. But this is not working.»

His face goes pale in a second. «What?»

«We are not working. I can’t be the only one who cares about the wedding, and when I return home you say it’s your house and you kiss your ex fiancé!»

«We were sixteen.»

«You should tell her that, not me.» She is the one who kissed you. She is the one who is willingly ruining everything. You are the one who is letting her do it.

«Daisy please, let’s talk about it. Please. Please, don’t give up on us.»

«You are giving up on us! Not me, you! I never even once looked at someone in the Capitol. You kissed her. For a moment, tell me the truth.»

«Yes... For a moment. I didn’t even know what I was doing!»

«I can’t.» You try hard not to cry. «I can’t, let me go.»

«No.»

«Let me go!» You slap him to free yourself. He watches you in disbelief, but you are walking to the train station.

You slapped him.

You hit him.

You don’t do this. You, as a couple, don’t hit each other. Even when things are not pretty, even when the urges are there because there are urges to hit when you are in the Hunger Games, you don’t cross the line.

You cry all your way to the Capitol. You have your sketches and not much more, just what was in your bag at the moment. Your luggage is still in Twelve, but the thought of going back is heavy. You always have your id and your documents in your purse, so you don’t need anything else.

You keep thinking it was a mistake. He didn’t want to kiss Marjorie. You should come back. But your guts hurt and you don’t want to see him, not now.

Your Haymitch. This wasn’t a crush anymore, you loved him, you love him. And he loves you. He loves you, right? But if you love someone you don’t kiss someone else, this is not how it works, at least not for you. You see Perla, Effie or Lora are stunning but you don’t desire them, you only want him.

A voice tells you you couldn’t survive this. Your love flourished in war, you are at your best when your life is in danger, when everything is messy and chaotic and you don't know if there is going to be a tomorrow.

Some days are not good, some days you can't get out of bed. These days, Haymitch stays with you. He kisses your hair and keeps you in his arms, he doesn't care about tears on his shirt or smudge makeup from the day before.

«Don't worry, I'll protect you. I'm here now. Don't worry.» He sings like a chant in your ear, keeping you close.

«Forever?» You murmur.

«Forever and a day more, Sweetheart.»

Some days are bad for him too, days in which the urge for a drink is almost too strong for him to resist, the shaking is heavier and the headache is insufferable. He stays in the chair, worried he could hurt you, but you end up in his lap, stroking his hair and whispering sweet words. You are so strong, you are my man, you are courageous, be strong for me.

In this you excel. You are a great couple. But when things are quiet and calm and it’s all right to stop and breathe, you are not capable of doing it.

You have no clue why he asked you to marry him if he doesn’t want to. You didn’t expect it, it’s not something you joked about, and you have been on cloud nine because of it but you are so young it wasn’t your first thought. But now it is, now you want to get married with him, you want to be Daisy Abernathy, to sign with his name and you are proud to be his.

He is not proud to be yours. He doesn’t care one bit.

You still have three days, so you stop in the only place you can disappear to.

District Four.

When you knock at his door and he opens, Finnick Odair can’t believe you are there. His blonde hair is longer and he seems a bit tired, but he is handsome as always. You thought he was at work, but you now remember he doesn’t need to, he has the Victor’s money. Not everyone is like Peeta, who likes the bakery.

«Daisy?»

You try to resist, but you start crying hard and you push yourself in his arms. He is confused, you appeared in his district unannounced with no warning and you didn’t go to Perla but to him, but he is one of your best friends and you didn’t feel like giving any explanation to Perla.

Perla doesn’t like Haymitch. She will probably be very happy.

«Daisy, hei, what happened? You are worrying me.» He hugs you back. You must be a sight, with crazy hair, puffy eyes and a red face, without makeup on.

«I don’t think I’m with Haymitch anymore.»

THREE MONTHS BEFORE

«Do you like District Twelve?» Haymitch asks you. He is feeding the geese, and you are trying to mend a pair of his jeans, on the patio. The scene is so awfully domestic and you smile so widely it hurts.

You like living with Haymitch, lingering until ten in the morning in the bed, kissing every chance you can. It’s not forever, you will have a job but it’s the perfect recovery.

«Yeah, my love, I like the District where I was born and raised.» You laugh, «Why?»

«I mean, you didn’t choose it after the war. You didn’t even choose the house.» He shrugs. You can feel his brain working, he is one of those days. His hands are shaking more than usual and his mind goes in dark places. Places where he loses you, you go away because you are too young or too bright for him, at least it’s what he says.

«It’s a bit difficult when you are in a coma.» You deadpan as you see him walking towards you.

«Very funny.» He strokes your cheek. «You are happy, right?»

«I would have chosen it. I promise.» You get up to kiss him and you hum in joy when he puts his hands on the pockets of your trousers. «I would have chosen this house and this bedroom and this man over everything.»

«Isn’t it a bit boring for you?» Boring. You are not bored, you are never bored. You are enjoying your life, your peace. You thought you’d never have peace in your life ever again, so this is like paradise.

«Boring? Are you bored?» Maybe this doubt is his. Maybe he is the one who wants his life back. The old grumpy man who lives alone with his animals. It must not be easy for him to share his space with you all the time, even if he is the one who decided it. He switched from doing everything alone, with no timetables or schedules whatsoever, with a freedom you could only have when you live alone, to stay with you twenty four hours per day, a routine he has to be a part of, not always leading it. And with you of all people, a person who he loves, but you are not the easiest girl alive. You scream at night because of the nightmares, you are clingy, you have difficulties at being alone.

«No, but I’m forty. It’s not exactly fun around here.»

«You are fun!» You protest. «I’m always very entertained, thank you very much. I get what you mean, it’s not Capitol’s “All parties and stuff”, but I’ll have my fair share of them when I get to Portia. And we could arrange a holiday in Four to see Finnick and the kid. That way of life is a holiday, tho, a trip. This is real life. And I love it.» The smile you only give to him it’s so blinding he has to believe you.

«Yeah? You mending and me feeding the geese?» He goes for a peck that you decide to deepen, because he looks too good with his blonde hair in the sun and his eyes are so blue and his arms are majestic.

«Yes! And you cooking, and you baking, and you cleaning and you prepa- ah!» You squeal in surprise when he lifts you up in a laugh. «Ruffian! Put me down!»

«So it’s me cleaning and me cooking and me doing everything, and you?» He laughs, and he packs your ass.

«I look pretty.» You declare.

«I’ll tell you pretty.»

«Put me down!»

«Nope.» He goes straight to the house, with you on his shoulder. «You look too fucking beautiful for me to release you.»

PRESENT DAY

«Here, a cup of tea.» Annie hands you a beautiful light blue mug and you take it with a brief smile. Annie is sweet, and you can’t see a glimpse of an annoyed reaction for your ambush, but you feel a little guilty. She is only twenty two and a kid under one year, she must be exhausted.

«Are you sure I can stay here for a few days?» You ask her. You don’t feel like facing the truth, and you know you will need to give explanations. Effie has her problems, Lora too… Perla will comment on it and you can’t deal with it right now. You just want to lick your wounds in peace. And you are exhausted yourself.

«You are always welcomed here, darling.» She answers you with a sweet smile on her face. «Finnick is alive thanks to you.»

You actually don’t remember it this way. The way you know it, Finnick saved your life and now you are barely even.

«Go rest, my love.» Finnick kisses her cheek, with Finn asleep in his arms. «I’ll stay with Daisy.»

The sight of the Odair family, two people so young and in love, with their perfect life, it’s almost unbearable. You are envious, and you still want them to be the pretty family they are but you want it too, and since you are a spoiled little brat the first instinct is to stamp your food and demand for it.

As she goes, he looks at you. «You are not bothering anyone here. Stay as long as you want to.»

You want to cry. You love him so much, and you love his wife too. You just want to go to bed and cry for a week. You feel like your heart is not beating anymore. You just want to stop everything.

«Are you sure it’s not too much for Annie? I can help with the baby.»

«I don’t work, Daz. I can handle it. Now, do I have to kill him? Because I’m quite good at it. And I look good doing it.»

You really want to laugh but when you try your eyes fill with tears, so you just shake your head. «No.»

You quickly explain everything, and you must be really ridiculous in your yellow top and blue skirt, a happy outfit for what you’ve thought was a happy evening.

«Do you want to know what I think?»

«If it agrees with what I think, gladly.» You deadpan.

«I think you need to go back to Capitol City.» That’s new. You thought he was either going to say that you needed to talk to him or to forget him.

«Ok, I thought I needed to-»

He stops you. «I don’t care now, and I think you need a few days. You have to sleep, Daisy. I’m sorry but you look like…»

«Shit?» You guess.

He shrugs. «I wouldn’t put it in these words… but your eyes are red and you look terribly tired. Tell me what you usually do.»

«In a day?»

«Yeah.»

«I fail to understand what it has to do with-»

«Just tell me.» He sits on the couch with you and he takes your hand. You didn’t realize how much you missed him until now. You don’t have a brother, but you feel a little like he is. He is the one that saves you, and sometimes you hope you save him a bit too.

«I work. Basically I work.»

«And nothing else?» The mere thought of doing anything else is not fun. You don’t want to think about anything else, just Haymitch, but if you think about Haymitch you want to cry and scream and punch him.

You shake your head. «I don’t have much time. I want to go back to… I wanted to go back to get married.»

«But you are losing all the Capitol experience! Hell, I hate that city, but it’s a giant amusement park. And you are not taking advantage of it. So, my friend…»

«Yeah?»

«I’ll rescue you. Again.»

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i-am-arcana-trash · 2 years

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Birthday Date

In true me fashion, I once again don’t know what to name a piece of writing.

Tashi belongs to @bastart13

Tashi wheeled himself up to Laurel's door. He pulled his coat tighter around his neck as a brisk breeze blew by as he entered into the warm shop.

The glass case where she kept her various crystals and expensive herbs was covered in flowers. Hydrangeas. Her favorite, in various shades of pink, blue, purple and white.

He heard a crash upstairs followed by a string of colorful expletives.

"We're supposed to tear up your room after we tear up the town, leave something for me to mess up."

Laurel came down the stairs, he wasn't sure if it was makeup but her cheeks were faintly pink.

He had offered to make her a birthday outfit but Laurel had insisted he didn't.

She was dressed in an ice blue dress, the top hung off her shoulders, a decidedly different look from her high neck.

Tashi didn't realize he was staring until Laurel pulled her sleeve up slightly.

"Does it look bad...I can change? Is it okay for dinner?"

Tashi nodded grabbing one of her hands kissing the knuckles "You look fantastic"

Laurel grinned before grabbing her cape from the hook by the door. It was fairly worn but in good shape. Tashi made a mental note on the fit, he could make a better one of she ever needed it

Together they made their way towards the fashion district. A new restaurant had opened up, some.kind of pit with a chef who flung food at you.

Tashi wasn't sure but when Laurel mentioned it her face lit up so he offered to take her.

The fashion district was mildly crowded, cold breezes tended to keep the people home, but Laurel seemed at home in it.

After a few moments of walking they found the restaurant, being led to a rectangular table with a fired grill in the middle.

"Oh...? "

The chef greeted them and for a few moments they had the table to themselves, it appeared more people could fit with them.

Tashi laced his fingers with her "How was your day at the shop?"

Laurel waved her hand "ugh all you ever want to talk about is work!" She paused before grinning at him "Work was fine, I finally got that order of Southern soil I've been waiting on."

"Ah yes....dirt."

Laurel laughed lightly "It's helpful for farming spells, the Steppe is especially fertile soil."

Tashi nodded before greeting a set of newcomers to the table.

Soon after a few more pairs joined their table and dinner was started.

Laurel couldn't help laughing when a shallot hit Tashi in the nose, his face crinkling.

The chef was fun, making games, cracking jokes.

By the end of dinner Laurel thought she may explode from how much food she ate. As she and Tashi made their way out into the cold night air she grinned dumbly at him.

"You had too many drinks."

"I HAD 2 DRINKS! And also....pretty lucky I get to spend my birthday with you...."

Tashi flushed slightly at her words, she did that sometimes, caught him off guard with something mushy.

He squeezed her hand, his signal for her to lean over and she sat on a nearby ledge, bringing them eye level.

His hand met her cheek and he smiled gently, leaning in to kiss her. In spite of the cold her lips were warm to his.

He pulled her closer, almost into his lap when her hand made contact with his neck.

"WHAT THE HELLS?"

He jumped, her hands were ice cold.

Laurel blushed as she rubbed her frozen hands together "Sorry!"

Tashi eyed her hands as she aggressively rubbed her hands together "I thought you just used a heat spell? In the summer I know you use a cooling spell."

Laurel grinned "Ice is my element....fire and heat....are harder for me, I can do it for short periods but it takes a lot of energy. I really need to invest in some gloves."

Tashi perked up "Let's stop by my shop...I have something..."

Together they made their way to his shop. Once inside Tashi made his way to a basket near his back room, he dug through it before he pulled out a pair of mittens.

They were obviously a first attempt, they were a little less crisp than his typical creations but the fabric was soft on her fingers as she slid them on.

Tashi avoided her eye "Sorry they were a first attempt....had to outsource when a client asked me to make them....but I can make you a better pair.."

Laurel was smiling at him as she leaned over "May I?"

He nodded allowing her to sit in his lap "We did get interrupted earlier...."

Tashi grinned, feeling her gloved hands on his neck "We did....."

Laurel kissed him firmly, cheeks cupping his cheek. His arms wrapped her waist pulling her closer.

After a few moments Laurel pulled the gloves off, her hands threading into his hair. Tashi's lips found the space below her ear and she whined softly.

After a few moments Laurel pulled away, her lips parted slightly, pink from their kisses. "I should head home....."

"Counteroffer....you stay the night....."

Laurel smiled gently, nodding "Yes please....."

----------------------------------------------------------

When she awoke the next morning, her cheek was pressed against something warm and firm.

Tashi's arm was around her shoulder and he pulled her closer, his skin was soft under her palm and she reached up to stroke his cheek.

"Hey....."

Tashi grinned hugging her tighter "Not a bad birthday eh?"

Laurel laughed, hugging him closer "Not bad at all."

They spent the morning chatting as the sun crept into his shop before finally getting out of bed.

As they dressed Tashi noticed a small bruise at the nape of her neck.

"Sorry to get overzealous last night."

Laurel laughed and winked at him, pointing out a similar spot along his throat "You weren't the only one."

#my writing #tashi x laurel #the arcana apprentice #the arcana

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bill-y · 3 years

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𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐄

Peeta Mellark x male reader

We all know who Katniss Everdeen is, but what if Primrose hadn’t been chosen but another boy from another unfortunate family? YOUR family.

Info: This is basically a reader insert and I’ve changed a few rules, not ground breaking though. The reader is a bit bland for now but I plan for his actions to be different. Because he has different moral grounds from Katniss and such. Would appreciate feedback! FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT TYPOS. GRAMMARLY SOMETIMES DOESN’T DO MY DYSLEXIC ASS JUSTICE

Part two: Click here, bomburino tortilla pony horse.

Part three: You're here, my guy.

Part four: Click here, amigo

Wattpad acc: L0calxDumbass

It didn't take long before I came home, my mother and brother was already dressed, and I was right, Kunal has been crying.

He immediately lightened up when he saw the bread, pushing the sleeves of my first reaping outfit (which was now his) back in order to munch on it.

"Don't worry, you only have your name once in the pile, you're safe," I reassured him, as I've done many times before.

I smiled, patting his head. My mother glanced at me, but I pretended to not notice. It's been long since we've talked, the last time was a disagreement, a petty one at that. About two years or so?

I honestly surpised myself, how can I go without talking to her for so long. . .?

Another trait my father passed on to me was a short temper, though I never lose my head and scream, but something about her words made me yell. Her face was full of shock when I did that, almost as if I've betrayed her.

"Don't be stupid like your father!" She told me.

My father isn't a stupid man, he was smart. Lady luck just wasn't on his side that day.

I took a bath, scrubbing the dirt and soot off myself. When I saw my clothing my heart stopped. It was my Father's.

It was simple, just as he liked. A white button up tunic, the hems made of elegant gold lace. The pants were loose, with garters securing on the hip and the hems, he never liked tight clothing, just like me.

My eyes went towards my mother, who simply nodded, "After you get dressed, sit down, won't you? Let me fix your hair," she said.

My mouth opened to protest, only to shut itself when she whispered a small, "please," My eyes softened, her voice sounded so guilty, she regretted her words, just as I did. She knew I could get chosen.

But I'm a coward, I don't like apologizing, something I inherited from her.

I nodded, and got dressed before I sat down, just as she told me. She began to braid tiny sections of my hair. I've never been good at it, really, It would always look messy when I did it. So I just looked messy everyday.

But her hands can do magic, it was like she was weaving silk, her hands full of grace and utmost care as she intertwined every strand of hair. I could feel her hand shake a little, as if scared with one wrong touch, I'd shatter like glass.

She used to sew clothing, make various artworks with whatever was in the house. Her hand was naturally delicate, soft to anything she makes contact with.

I bit my lip, none of us wanted to say it. We we're both thinking the same thing, though.

I never really liked cutting my hair, always kept it atleast neck length at best. I don't think short hair suits me at all, though it does get in the way while hunting from time to time.

Once she finished, without a word she pressed her chapped lips onto my forehead, she then walked away, leaving me with a pit of guilt in my stomach.

Such simple words, why can't I just say it?

I sighed, fixing my tunic and tucking it in, the garter snapping back, making me wince a little. It was stupid of me to let go.

I took a deep breath in, mustering all the courage I had to walk towards my brother, who has devoured the entire loaf. "Good?" I asked.

He nodded, a smile on his face, the crumbs falling down. I chuckled, wiping his mouth with my hand.

"You're like a bird, aren't you, little mocking jay?" I said, patting his head again.

He hummed, nodding aggressively, his hair bouncing up and down. I snickered, holding his head still with both my hands. I squished his cheeks together, making his lips form into a duck beak-shape. "Hey, Y/n,"

I rose my brows, humming. "I won't get chosen, won't I?" he asked. I sniffed, shaking my head as I linked our foreheads. "No, no you wont, Nal," I said. "If they call you, I won't let you go, alright?"

"You promise?"

"Of course,"

Soon it hit one in the afternoon, it was mandatory to attend this "festival", unless you're at death's door, that is. I found myself beside Gale, who patted my shoulder for reassurance.

Maybe it was obvious I'm stressed, tense. I'm not worried about myself, I'm more worried of them, especially Kunal. He's only twelve, yet he can still get chosen.

Some kind of festival this is.

I clenched my fists tighter, palms started to go white as I also clenched my jaw.

On the temporary stage stationed in front of the justice building was a podium, three chairs and two large bowls. The district is divided into two sections, jumbled across those two glass bowls, waiting to be picked up.

Twenty of them contained 'Y/n Greyback', one of them contained 'Kunal Greyback'.

There were also bright banners hung up, though I'm sure it was just there to taunt us, it sure worked for me. Everytime I look at it I start feel sick, hatred bubbling in my stomach.

The feeling of claustrophobia began to settle in as people piled into the square, the late comers having to just watch from a monitor instead.

"You alright?" Gale asked, nudging me. I gulped, sighing, "Course, I just —" I turned back, looking at my brother. "Worry of him,"

He gave me a sympathetic look, "He only has one entry, I'm sure he won't be picked," He said. Something I've been saying for such a long time, it didn't help settle my nerves.

"I know," I answered plainly.

We looked towards Katniss' place, beside her was Mardge, who gave me a curt smile and a wave. Out of politeness, I simply nodded back before turning back to the stage.

My hands grew colder each second, by two, when the mayor finally reached the stage, my hands were as cold as a corpse's.

Beside the mayor was Effie Trinket, District 12’s escort, fresh from the Capitol with her scary white grin, pinkish hair, and spring green suit. It looked quite ghastly.

Everyone murmured in worry, for whom was the empty third seat for?

The mayor stepped in front of the podium, beginning to tell the tale of Panem, how the twelve districts lost in the rebellion and now have to face punishment.

The Hunger games.

It was simple, each district would pick two "tributes" to this little game, and then they either kill like a hungry wolf or die like lost cattle.

I gulped, sweat forming on my forehead as I instinctively reached for the end of Gale's shirt. He held my hand, patting it a few times to let me know it would be alright.

He then began to read the victors in every hunger games. In the past seventy-four years, we have had exactly two.

Only one is still alive. Haymitch Abernathy, a paunchy, middle-aged man, who at this moment appears hollering something unintelligible, staggers onto the stage, and falls into the third chair.

To say he's drunk would be an understatement.

The crowd responds with its token applause, but he’s confused and tries to give Effie Trinket a big hug, which she barely manages to fend off.

The mayor looks distressed. Since all of this is being televised, right now District 12 is the laughingstock of Panem, and he knows it. He quickly tries to pull the attention back to the reaping by introducing Effie Trinket.

Bright and bubbly as ever, she began to talk. I could feel my blood boiling upon hearing her obnoxious, Capitol accent. I tuned her out, gulping as my hands somehow grew even colder.

Please don't let it be my brother, anyone but him.

"Let's have the first pick, shall we?" She said, her voice at the end of the sentence practically sky rocketing up. She pulled a piece of paper from one of the Glass bowls.

My heart pounded, as if trying to escape my chest. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths in.

"Kunal Greyback,"

My heart stopped. Why couldn't it have been me? I had twenty, TWENTY entries.

I watched as my brother walked past me, his lip quivering, eyes glossy. Oh sweet, sweet Kunal, as delicate as a Lotus.

Kunal, the boy who gathers flowers every morning just for me.

Kunal, the boy who loves pulling on my braids.

Kunal, my dear innocent brother. Afraid of his own shadow.

I felt my own body move, launching myself forward. Gale called for my name, but I didn't care, no. I needed to get to my brother, I made a promise.

"NAL! NAL! NO!" I yelled, desperation evident in my voice as I pushed through the other people. "Y/n!" He screamed back.

Most of then gave me and my brother looks of sympathy, some gossiped. "Greyback," they'd whisper. "Another one bites the dust," they'd continue.

The peace keepers pushed me back, preventing me from reaching my brother.

No, not like this. He's still so young, he still wants to gather lilys by the front of our house, he still wants to create flower crowns for me to wear.

He still wants to breath, to live.

The mayor looked at me, recignizing me almost immediately. He didn't know me, no. Rather, he knew my father, the man he put under the execution block.

Oh mother, I'm sorry it had to be this way. It seems another one of your family members will die at the hands of the Capitol.

"I volunteer!" I gasped, gulping down nothing. My mouth was dry.

"I volunteer as a tribute!"

Word count: 1.6k

Tags:

@nin3s

#peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark x male reader #peetamellark #male x male reader #x male reader #male reader #hunger games x reader #hunger games x male reader #hunger games ff #hunger games #katniss everdeen #gale hawthorne #peeta mellark #why are tags so difficult to fucking write #hello person looking at tags you should really get other hobbies #male reader insert #reader insert #long read #male reader series

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ilguna · 3 years

Text

Lacuna - Chapters 1-4 (f.o)

summary: they say the odds tend to favor those who need them. well, they were wrong.

warnings; swearing.

wc; 14.8k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

-- CHAPTER ONE --

The sound of screaming jolts you awake, enough to get your heart racing, and the grogginess of sleep is completely erased from your mind. Your eyes search the room quickly, looking for some sort of intruder, until you realize it’s just your sister again. Awake before the rest of the house, uncomfortable because of the silence, and probably starving.

You’re not sure how it’s possible to have the same exact reaction every single time she does it. But your brain thinks the same thing without fail, that someone has just broken into the house, and you’re about to get murdered. It’s ridiculous for a couple of reasons. The first, is that they would most likely not go for the back room first. And the second is that no one gets murdered here.

If anything, everyone huddles up together, protecting each other the best they can. To turn against someone else would be ridiculous. There is no reason for murder, when two of you get picked off every single year. If anything, you should be teaming up together to get it stopped. But that would cost thousands of lives, once again.

With a yawn, you push yourself off of the bed, dragging your feet when it comes to taking care of your sister. The second you’re in sight, she seems to calm down a little bit, holding her arms up to you. You scoop her up, holding her against your chest as you shush her slightly, bouncing your steps a little more as you head into the kitchen.

No one else is home except the two of you. Reed and Mox are most likely on a boat in the middle of the water, fishing to fill today’s quota. They’ll be saving a couple for you guys later tonight, and if they come back with enough, you’re sure they’ll send you to the square to trade for bread, and anything else you’ll need for today.

You can take a guess already. It’ll be soaps and shampoos, and if there isn’t a nice enough outfit that you can find in your mom’s old wardrobe, then you will have to go out to buy a hand-me-down from the square. Alyssum--your sister--will most likely fit in to her outfit from last year, she hasn’t grown much since then. Your brothers stopped growing a couple of years ago, and they fit into your fathers pants and shirts just fine.

As you set your sister up on the floor with a little bit of soft, fresh bread, you head to your parents room. Holding your breath when you open the door, because you only come in here once a year. This will be the one time you permit yourself to look over it again. You don't’ stay for very long though, you don’t want to kneel and cry on the floor like you did two years ago. You’re terrified of the never ending onslaught of tears again.

Reed doesn’t have the same reaction as you and Mox do when you come into the room. Reed has to be the strongest, in his mind. He doesn’t want to watch as his younger siblings collapse and crumble beneath him. He lets you guys use him as a platform, and only sometimes do you get to return the favor.

You open the creaky wooden door, looking over the dresses. A frown comes over your face when you realize that last years had hardly fit. And if last year was a bust, then that means that all the others won’t be big enough either, right?

Even though you’re sure that it’ll be impossible for you to fit into any of them again this year, you pick out the biggest one. It’s the closest to the end, one you haven’t worn before because it was too big beforehand. How the tables have turn.

After you lay it over your arm, you shut the wardrobe doors and leave the room. After, you quickly lay the dress on the desk in the corner of the room. Something your father used to sit at every night as he wrote up things for the peacekeepers to send. While you’re in your room, you open up the shutters to see that the sun is higher than you thought. You’d think it to be early morning, the sky not even turning blue yet.

Quickly, you place your black flats beneath the dress, and you also lay out Alyssum’s baby clothes. By the time you’ve returned to the living room, Alyssum is finished with the bread. She chews on her favorite stuffed animal, staring off into space. Not a single care in the world.

Just as you’re deciding to change Alyssum and maybe start up the first bath of many that will happen, the door swings open. Mox is the first to appear in the doorway, hauling the cooler in his arms. When he sees you standing by the couch, he offers you a tight smile, before heading straight for the fridge.

On the other hand, Reed has a basket of bread. You’ll take a bet right now, that Mox had lost whatever game they were playing on the boat, making him carry the heavy cooler, while Reed got the lightest thing in the world. Reed shuts the door behind with his foot, and then he shuffles over to the counter, clearing the cutting board and knife into the sink to make room, before he sets it down.

“I’ve fed her.” you tell him, “And I’ve picked out her outfit and everything. Do I have to run down to the square for anything? Soaps?”

Mox groans out a complaint as he struggles to lift the cooler again. Reed chuckles, smirking at him, before he turns to you, “No, I got them early this morning before anyone else could. Go ahead and take a bath first, I have to help him out.”

“Shut up.” Mox shoots at him, glaring.

You leave the room quietly, picking up the dress from the room, and whatever you’ll be wearing underneath. The bath is a blur as you scrub the salt scent from your skin. It isn’t until you’re nearly done, when you realize that the soap is going to definitely cover it, with the sickeningly sweet smell that comes from it.

You take your time to dry your hair, getting dressed slowly to ensure that you don’t accidentally rip the dress, only to find out that it slips on freely. It’s not tight on you as you expected, you could run and nothing would tear. Once you leave the bathroom, you take your towel and brush with you, going to sit in your own room while you do your hair.

Just as you’ve gotten your hair to stay in place, with it being pulled back as best as possible so that you can see, Reed hands Alyssum off to you to dry off a little more and get dressed. It’s too easy for her, she doesn’t have much hair, you gather it into a tiny ponytail that makes a palm tree on the top of her head. For a cute effect, you add a bow to it.

Reed and Mox are ready faster than you are. However, just because they’re fast, doesn’t mean that they’re not dragging their feet when it comes to leaving the house. The second you leave, it’s straight for the stage, where you’ll watch this years unfortunate tributes get reaped for the hunger games.

You could say a million bad things about the Capitol, and the games. But instead, you’ll keep it quiet this year. Because if there’s anything you don’t need right now, it’s being pulled in for the games. Your brothers can’t handle another death in the family, you know it.

Your mom had done enough damage on everyone, but your father was still around long enough to stay strong. Those are the only times you remember Reed still being so soft. Your mom had died giving birth to Alyssum, and no one had realized that she was bleeding to death until it was too late. Thankfully, you were too young, not allowed to be in the room until you were forced to say goodbye, before you were whisked away again. The next time you saw her after that was in the casket.

Your dad had done remarkably well when it came to keeping up with work, and juggling you and Alyssum. Mox and Reed were a year shy of not being in the reapings anymore, so they knew they would have to work harder, no matter what it took or sacrificed.

All that preparation had done Reed good, you suppose. Because only a few months later he would die in a fishing accident. Taking out District Four’s best fishers. For a while, there was talk that it was done on purpose, and the peacekeepers were tired of having to deal with every single person on that boat. But that wouldn’t add up correctly, because your dad was almost always a favorite of the peacekeepers, even the new ones.

In your opinion, your family has gone through enough. Too many have died, and honestly, you all were orphaned for a while, but under the radar. The second that Reed had turned eighteen, he immediately filed to be seen as the parent for all of you. Which stopped the community home from trying to snatch you up.

You guys stop to have the quick breakfast that was somehow skipped over by accident. Consisting of mostly bread, until Reed decides that it doesn’t hurt to have a little bit of fish too. When you’re all finished, the table is cleaned, and then you really have to leave the house.

The walk to the stage is mostly quiet. Reed will play around with Alyssum occasionally, but she mostly stares at the people around you. She hasn’t seen this many people gather together before, it’s mainly just you three, and then the neighbor kids. She wasn’t old enough last year to fully realize what was going on around her. Curious, for sure, but not really caring.

On the way, you manage to catch sight of one of your friends. The second that she turns her head in your direction, you wave. It takes her a moment to realize who you are because of the distance, but soon enough she buddies up next to you.

“Hey, pretty dress.” you tell her, and she beams a little bit.

“Thanks! That one’s new on you, did last year not fit?” she asks, she knows that this is your mothers dress no doubt, but she doesn’t bring it up. Instead, she alludes to it.

“It was tight enough last year, so I was sure it would rip by the seams this year. I found this one at the end.” you tell her, and she nods lightly.

The both of you go on like that, going back and forth talking about what you had done today. It isn’t much, but it’s enough to fill the silence, and suppress the sickness that’s beginning to rise in your stomach, like it does every year. You’d call it intuition if it weren’t so common.

She’s a year younger than you, so she has to move to her age group, fourteen. While you on the other hand, move to be in fifteen. As everyone slowly files in to the sections, you look to find Reed and Mox again, to see that they’re standing off to the side. Alyssum is on Reed’s shoulders, making him very easy to spot. He holds onto her hands tightly, not risking the chance of her falling. With them is one of the neighbor’s sons, Caspian.

Soon, you turn back to look at the stage again to see that the governor is helping Mags up onto the stage. She’s the only victor of this district, and she’ll be the only help to anyone going into the arena. You really wish that the main career districts would stop being so prestigious, and allow others to win too. That they’d stop training their kids illegally and actually have a sliver of a chance like the rest of you.

They must have so many of their victor houses filled, that they’re always creating more. One new one every year, just in case they win again, which is hardly ever not the case. Instead of a single dozen, they must have four or five.

Soon, the shuffling of feet has stopped, and the anthem plays. You watch for the fifteenth time as they play the same video. Listen as the same speech is given. That this is what the districts have earned, and being descendants from the originals that had thrown the revolution, you’ve automatically been given the same burden. Being alive is simply offensive to the Capitol.

And then the governor closes his speech, and your districts Capitol representative heads up to the microphone. Elysia Fardust--you really can’t believe that they have ridiculous names like that, as if the body modifications weren’t enough--is looking a lot more humble this year. Last year she had outdone everyone, wanting at least one year in the spotlight, you guess.

She wears a blonde wig, you can tell by the way it shines in the sun, reflecting the light off of it. They could have done their very best with it, trying to make it look realistic, and it still would have turned out looking cheap. Her theme this year seems to be blue and gold, since that’s what the frilly dress she wears is made up of. On her feet is also a pair of gold heels. They look like they would be trouble to walk in, but she moves around just fine. Around her wrists are bracelets that jangle and shine the light back into your eyes at the wrong angle.

There’s a huge smile on her face as she stands tall, “Good afternoon, citizens of District Four.” Unlike other representatives you’ve had, her accent doesn’t stand out as much, it’s a subtle thing, almost as if she’s ashamed of it, “Happy Hunger Games.”

You roll your eyes involuntarily, letting them land on the ground as you shake your head softly. Because only to the Capitol people, is this entire event amusing. Watching others fight to the death so that one may be the winner, win his life back. While everyone back home is forced to watch it in agony. A few will take bets, as their hopes for winners sink each year when all they get are dead bodies in the end.

“We’ll start with the ladies.” she chirps, and you feel the swarm of butterflies first, and then the disgust of her tone crushes all of them at once. Except for a few, which cause more harm than good, as they fly around.

You can’t help but to turn to look at Reed and Mox, hoping that they can see where you’re standing. And miraculously, you’re able to catch Reed looking at you at the same time. Mox catches on eventually and looks over too. He also mouths for you to breathe.

The faint clinking of rings makes you look towards the stage again to see her pulling out the white paper slip. Butterflies swarm, and the only thing you can relate this feeling back to, is when you have those rare presentations in school. The type that means a lot on who you are, and the grade you recieve.

There’s a pain in your chest as you hold your breath to make all those butterflies stop flying and die from the lack of air. You’re not the only one though, you can feel every single girl that’s eligible to be put in the games, collectively hold their own breaths. Eyes wide and staring just like you are, hoping and praying that it’s not going to be you.

Elysia takes her time, unfolding the paper. She reads it to herself first it seems, before a wide smile spreads over her face, and she looks out to you girls, “Our girl tribute is (Y/n) Gallows.”

-- CHAPTER TWO --

You feel lifeless. As the blood drains from your face. As the wind leaves your lungs. As all the strength you had minutes ago suddenly diminishes. Standing is a hard thing to do. You feel like you should collapse, head aimed toward the sky as you stare. Leaving people to wonder if it’s the shock, or if it’s refusal to go up to the stage.

All you can do now is stare straight ahead at the stage. Feeling all the eyes bore on the back of your head. They’re all giving you away, and if they’d just look somewhere else, then they would have absolutely no clue that it was your name that was called. Elysia wouldn’t be able to spot you so easily like she is now, and the peacekeepers wouldn’t have started their march.

You swallow down the vomit, gritting your teeth as you clench your fists tightly at your sides. Robotically, you turn your body, being gentle on your feet as if you’ll fly into the air if you’re light enough. On the way to the walkway, you get a clear look at Reed and Mox and regret it immediately. You didn’t need to look at them, not yet.

Reed’s face is hard, straight and angry. He looks like one of those tributes that get thrown in once in a while. The type that fight really hard and nearly win every single year. Until some brat career district comes around and kills them off. Reed’s lips are pressed in a thin line, and his eyes stare into yours.

Mox isn’t as stoic. His eyes are glossy, you can see them from where you’re standing. You can also see how red and blotchy his face is getting. He’s already been crying, the tears must have burst right after your name had been called. But you don’t remember hearing the sound of him crying.

You could have easily missed it while your brain threw you in a surprised mindset. It would have been easy to miss the sounds of everyone around you--although you’re sure that there wasn’t much noise in the first place--as you were suddenly clouded by your thoughts. Different escape plans had come to mind, but all of those would have been foolish. You would be laughed at later on for being so cowardly.

When you make it to the walkway, you clear your face as best as you can, standing tall and squaring your shoulders. You force yourself to look tough, even though every single part of you is screaming. As long as you don’t look vulnerable on the outside, you’ll be fine.

Elysia’s eyes follow you up the steps, taking your hand when you’re within length, and stopping you in front of the girls bowl. From here, you can see everyone, especially your brothers who aren’t looked so hot now. They must be envisioning it now, seeing you in the games. They must be seeing all of the scenarios, knowing that you’ll end up in at least one of them.

Elysia doesn’t waste any time, moving on to the boys bowl. She takes her time like she did the first time, reaching for one of the top ones, instead of digging her hand in the bowl like she did before. Had she plucked one from the top, you wouldn’t be where you are.

Suddenly, you’re glad that Reed and Mox are too old to be placed in the games. Too old to volunteer over some random boy that will be picked. They need to be here for Alyssum, and you know that very well. You’re sure that if it were possible, Reed would most definitely volunteer, so that he would be able to protect you in the games the entire time.

Mox wouldn’t be able to stomach it, being in the arena. He would last only so far, because he can’t kill people. He can hardly stand fish being killed so that you guys can live every single day. So that you can provide for the Capitol. Killing people is absolutely out of the question. But Reed would do it if he could. He’d do it for you because he knows that’s what an older sibling is supposed to do. Protect the younger ones.

Elysia unfolds the second paper, “Finnick Odair.”

You have to stop yourself from opening your mouth when your eyes land on him. And you know that you’re utterly screwed, because this is not an older boy that would take pity on you and hopefully keep you around in the arena because you’re from home. No, this is Finnick, fourteen, handsome, a year younger than you.

You will be expected to look over him, since you’re the older one now. The only experience you have when it comes to fourteen year-olds is the girl that you’re friends with. Who is staring at you with big eyes still, like she can’t believe she was just talking to you, and now you’re going to be sent into the games. She’s also thinking of all the possibilities.

Finnick comes down the aisle with the same hard look on his face that you had. Elysia doesn’t hold her hand out for him. Instead, she lets him walk in front of his bowl, and she turns to everyone that’s waiting below.

“May the odds be ever in your favor.” she says again, the first time was before it had started, “You can shake hands, now.”

She backs up, allowing you to get a look at Finnick.

You’ve seen him around school, and you’ve talked to him plenty of times. He’s smart, he’s as knowledgeable with knots and fishing as you are. He’ll be a good swimmer, and he’ll know a few plants that are edible. And if he prefers spears rather than the actual fishing pole, then he’ll be able to throw well too.

There’s got to be some hidden skills in there. But all you know for the most part, is that you’re even on some playing fields. You’re coming from the same district, you’re going to have the same skills. It won’t be like people coming from the main career districts, because they have years of training under their belt with so many things. It won’t be like the outsider districts like ten, eleven and twelve.

You’d consider Finnick a friend at this exact moment, with all of the times you have talked and all of the things you know about him. He’s your friend, and you hope that he considers you the same. Because in the arena, you’ll hope that he’ll consider an alliance. He’s from home, he’ll share the same memories, and he’ll make you feel safe again.

You take Finnick’s hand in yours, shaking it a couple of times.

And then, you’re ushered off of the stage. You and Finnick are separated from each other as you’re guided and then locked into a room. Here, you pace the room back and forth, because it’s beginning to sink in. You’re going to be sent in an arena with twenty-three other teens your age, and you’re going to be forced to kill them. You’re going to have to survive the best you can, no matter how hard that is.

The door opens minutes later, and you look up to see your three siblings. You only have a couple of minutes to talk to them, says the peacekeeper. Then he shuts the door, and you’re engulfed in arms.

“Remember all the knots I taught you,” Reed tells you immediately, “How to prepare the fish properly, cook it thoroughly. Boil the water at least before you drink out of it. If they have iodine then that’s what you need to put in it, only a few drops.”

Between gasps of air, Mox begins to give his input, “If you can, make a spear. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just sturdy enough to throw. A strong stick, and sharpen it to a tip with a sharp rock.”

You suddenly know why they’ve been teaching you this information all these years. And you know why your dad did the same to them when the time came. It’s because if this had happened, you would be very good at all of the things that they had taught you over the years. There would be no time for hesitation inside of the arena, and there would be no possibility of that if you were so good at everything that would be used inside of there.

They’ve been preparing you this entire time.

Alyssum reaches for you, and Reed passes her over. You bounce her in your arms lightly, hugging her to your chest as you press a kiss to her forehead. This might be the last time you get to hold her. The last fuzzy memory she will have of you.

Mox must remember the same thing at the same time you do, because his arms swarm you again, and Reed follows. You stand there quietly for a long moment.

“Win, (Y/n).” Reed tells you, “Do everything you can to win. Don’t fall to the obvious things, you know how well you are. Don’t mess it up in there.”

“I know.” you whisper, and just before the doors open, Reed presents you with a freshly polished ring.

It takes you a moment before you recognize it, and that’s when your eyes go wide. It’s your mom’s engagement ring. Your mother hadn’t wanted something big on her finger, and so your dad got her something small. Something that represented the district, while also being a very beautiful ring.

It’s a silver ring, with one lone wave in the middle of it. You take it in your fingers, turning it over for a moment before you slide it on your ring finger with shaky hands. By the time you’ve looked up to thank him, there’s tears gushing down the sides of your cheeks.

Then, the door opens and Reed and Mox are scrambling to give you the last bit of affection they can afford. You kiss Alyssum one last time, before Reed carefully takes her from you. And the last thing you see are a fresh wave of tears on Mox’s face. The door shuts heavily after that, and you have to force yourself to sit down, as you wrap your arms around yourself.

You have a chance, you know that. There’s a chance that you will make it out of this, and you have to hold onto that. You can’t accept defeat just yet, because that’ll ruin your entire mindset. You’ll go into the games thinking you’re going to die, and it’ll take away all your fight. You’ll be weak, useless and depressed. Even the most incompetent fighter will be able to take you.

The doors open again, taking you by surprise as you look up to see Capsian. You and him don’t talk much. In fact, you two hardly get along because he’s always picking on you, and Reed won’t tell him to knock it off. You eventually started a grudge on him, and the resentment just grew from there on.

“I’ll take care of your brothers,” he tells you, “I’ll stay with them to help out around the house. My entire family wishes you good luck in the games.”

“Thank you,” you say, curling up on the couch, he takes this as an invitation to sit on the other end.

“You’ll be good at the games, I can feel it.” he tells you, nodding to himself as he stares out the window, “We’ll be cheering you on from here.”

You don’t say anything to this, and the rest of his few minutes is spent in silence. He wishes you luck once more, before he disappears out the doors, and then just like that, you’re left alone again. It isn’t for long, as the peacekeepers escort you to the train station, where you see your brothers standing there for a final time, since they have to see you off, no matter what happens.

You know that you’ll be on camera again here, and so you stop to stare off at the district. Then, you raise your hand to wave, eyebrows drawn together as you’re thinking.

Farewell District Four, you think, it’s been fun.

The second after you’ve stepped inside, the doors shut behind you. The train starts moving, and you can feel the shift in the air. You don’t stumble like Finnick, who has to put his hand on the wall to get a hold of himself again.

You stare at Finnick for a moment, unsure of how to approach this. Because you want to have him as a friend now, and have his back for as long as it will last. Which will hopefully be up until you’re bet against each other.

“Allies?” you ask hopefully, “Until we have to kill each other?”

“You’re start awfully early, don’t you think?” he doesn’t answer you initially, but he doesn’t waste too much time, “Yes, until we have to kill each other.”

“Glad to see you two are friendly,” Elysia says, interrupting us, “Your rooms are ready for you.”

“Thanks,” you mutter, beginning to walk towards yours, but Finnick doesn’t let you go so easily.

“You want to stick together?”

The last time you’ve talked to Finnick had to be at least a couple of weeks ago. When you have the time, it’s normally clipped, little things. Passing conversations, because there’s never enough time to have full ones. It’s during school, and hardly after unless you accidentally run into him in the square or something.

You and Finnick spend your time doing different things, sometimes. You have been trained in all things with water, with the best of Reed’s knowledge with only Mox to back him up on things. You’ve been tying and retying knots. Throwing spears, and harvesting water plants.

It’s required that Finnick do the same, but he has his own preferences. You see him with his favorite trident all the time, playing around with it. There was only one time you had seen him throw it, and when it had come out of the water, five different fish were speared. You’re not sure about the plants, but he has to know how to cook at least. And he has to know his fair share of knot tying, but you’re not sure what he knows.

Reed tried to cover every single one that he had heard of, and even went as far as to seek out the elderly in District Four to learn how they do things too. What they remember from the times when they had to fish for the Capitol. And then he would take that information, come home and teach it all to you. You weren’t expected to know all of it, but to absorb most of it.

While Finnick probably didn’t have to deal with that almost every night. You partially know this, because you’ve seen him around with the girls in his class. Finnick looks old for his age, which means that he’s growing into his face. He’s more attractive than all the boys in your grade, at least.

The sponsors will love him, and he has to know that somewhat.

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“At the training, and stuff like that.” So, he means besides the arena.

“I don’t see why not.” you tell him, stopping in front of your room, your fingers find the ring and you fidget with it slightly, not used to the feeling on your finger, “Wake me for supper?”

He nods, giving you a big smile before he goes to his own room. You walk inside, listening as the doors shut behind you. The second that it’s gone, you head for the bathroom, sliding off the ring and placing it somewhere safe on the counter. Just for an extra measure, you pull up the tab that blocks water, so it doesn’t fall in and go down the drain.

You peel off your clothes, before hurrying inside of the shower that you started. You pull out your hair, letting the warm water wash over it. And while you’re standing there, you realize just how weak you feel from the entire thing. You can’t help but to sink into a sitting position, pulling your knees to your chest as you stare off at the wall for a while.

It must have been an hour you sat in there, just thinking about what it’s going to be like for the next couple of days. You’re not going to be thrown in just like that, you’re going to have to be presentable to the Capitol. You’re going to have to earn sponsors, and look like you have a chance at winning the games. You’re going to be forced to grit your teeth some more and smile. Tough it out until you’re finally inside of the arena.

You brush your hair carefully again, pulling it out of your face again. You look over the drawers carefully, and then you decide that a tank top and shorts will do you good. You want to feel comfortable here, for as long as possible. You want to hold on to what you would be doing at home. And then you grab the ring, putting it back on your finger.

Finnick comes to knock on your door, telling you that it’s time to eat. This is when you see he’s changed into something more comfortable too. He’s doing the same thing you are, because both of you are kids. You shouldn’t be thrown into the games, because you guys are so young. People under the age of sixteen hardly win.

Twelve and thirteen are the death years. If you get picked at those ages, you’re dead, there’s nothing you can do. Your body is so small, and you have no clue what to do still. They don’t have those years under their belt, they’re still struggling with the complicated knots.

Fourteen it gets better, but only by a little bit. No one has won at the age of fourteen, the youngest it gets is fifteen, and that year was a miracle. You weren’t able to see it, but Reed had explained it to you, that it was a particularly hard game. But the boy had won by waiting it out, and found a way to make the food and water last long. He killed only one person that year, and it was the girl that would have won

Sixteen and up, they have the best chances. They’re even better if they’re careers, which makes them deadly. If you run into anyone above the age of sixteen you can consider yourself dead, because they’ll overpower you so easily. The only chance you’ll have, is if there’s distance between the both of you and you have some sort of long-range weapon.

In the diner cart, sits Elysia and Mags. Mags watches as the both of you come into the room. Elysia looks over you guys with a squint, like she can’t believe that you’re dressed like that, and then she smoothes over, relaxing her face. Probably afraid of suddenly getting wrinkles.

The second you two have sat down, the food arrives. And it starts off slow, and all that Elysia has to tell you, is that more will keep coming, so eat slow and don’t take too much.

You follow just that, taking in all the different flavors, and how it’s so much more different than fish and bread every single night. With the occasion fish stew if the neighbor next door invited you over for dinner if you had brought her family a lot of fish that afternoon. Those nights, you’d think of them as feasts, because you would bring over more food to share and go around if you had it to spare. Eat like kings and queens, even if it was once a month.

After a certain amount of time, Finnick is tired of the silence, “Mags, when will you begin to mentor us?”

Your eyes drag across the table, landing on her. She struggles for a moment, and then she speaks. But the words are garbled, and it takes you a second to decipher them.

“Tomorrow morning.”

Finnick seems to understand as well as you have, so he nods and you guys go back to eating. Somewhere along the way, your stomach starts to feel upset, but you keep eating anyway. The more food you eat, the more pounds you’ll be able to tack on. More weight you’ll have on the others that will be thrown in the arena.

Once you’re done eating, Elysia brings you to the couch to watch the recap of the games. As much as you don’t want to watch all the children get reaped—and the rich kids volunteer—you know it’ll help you in the end. Let you size up the other tributes without being there in person. When you do finally get the chance tomorrow or the day after, you’ll see how tall they are and just how screwed you may be.

The girl that’s volunteered has clearly been training for a while. You watch as the muscles in her arms tense, and then release like she’s purposely flexing to show off her strength. She’s taller, and because of how strong she is, it’s made her look bigger. However, that doesn’t stop her from being pretty. You mark her in your mind immediately, Trink is her name, she’s from District One.

With her is a boy that isn’t as impressive, most boys who volunteer are normally tall and muscular, so nothing stands out about him. For girls, it’s just not the same. They’ve been training for just as long, but most of the time they look harmless. It isn’t until they’re thrown into the games, when they show off their true nature.

The boy’s name is Lennox, and he’s definitely taller than you, because he easily towers over the girl next to him. If you’re taking guesses on ages, then the girl is sixteen and he’s the same age or seventeen. He looks older, but then again, so does Finnick and he’s fourteen.

You look at Finnick to see how he’s accessing this entire thing too. He’s thinking, staring at the screen with a straight face, and then he laughs. When he turns to look to you, he shakes his head, “Careers.”

He says the word as if it explains what he’s laughing about, and you turn to see just in time that Trink and Lennox are grinning at each other. Arms locked around the other, as they turn to their district to wave. Clearly they’re proud of where they’ll be coming from.

Another district to watch out for is the following, two. Another part of the careers, people that you’ll be expected to team up with to hunt and kill.

The girl is taller than the boy this time, and she holds her chin high. There’s this sickening grin on her face as she bares her chest out for everyone to see. She wants them to know that she’s just as proud. Her name is Eytelle, probably stolen from one of the Capitol people. Since two is one of the favored ones as well.

The boy looks strong though, his name is Allio. In his hand he holds a stick that he’ll turn over in his hand every now and then. You have to focus to see what he’s doing exactly, but when you catch the glint of the silver, you realize it’s not a stick. He’s playing with a knife.

“Are we allowed…?” you don’t finish the question, but Elysia picks up.

“No.” she says gruffly, shaking her head, “It’s supposed to be for safety. What is he thinking?”

You’re not sure if she’s referring to the male Capitol representative, or Allio. Who’s still playing with that knife, and you watch as it gets faster in his hand. Like it’s building up a climax, and then it cuts.

Three is technology, and it looks like the program hurries that up a little bit. Certain districts are going to be expected to do better, this will be one of them. They make the technology, they’ll know how to build weapons. They should do exceedingly well, and if the careers think any one of them have potential, they’ll be called on.

Next, it flips to your district, and this is when it slows down again. You watch as Elysia perks up, and Finnick leans forward, suddenly entranced by the sight. Again, you relive the moment when Elysia calls your name, and you watch as a couple of seconds pass, before you’re heading down the aisle.

What felt like an eternity to you, was only a few seconds for them. You thought that you had frozen to your spot while you were debating the chances of you running. To them, they thought that it was you realizing it was your name that was called or something. You watch as the emotion is cleared from your face the second that you begin walking and realize that there’s cameras.

On that stage you felt so small, but on the camera, you can clearly see that it’s not too bad. You look better than what you thought you would. Four is also part of the careers, but it’s very shaky when it comes to volunteers--hence why you nor Finnick got one--and they hardly ever team up with the pack as far as you’re concerned.

Four is a rich district, so hardly anyone starves, but you’ve had your own months when you were struggling to get used to the fact that it was only you and your brothers that were capable of gathering food. Eventually, you got very good at it again, and there’s always food stocked in the fridge. But you’ve felt starvation. Despite all that, you look healthy and well-fed. There’s no doubt that a few districts are going to be jealous of that fact, especially in the poorer parts.

There’s not much you know, you’re not allowed to talk to neighboring districts at all. But you do know that most live in poverty. And things like starvation aren’t so uncommon.

You hadn’t noticed this before, but your hands somehow found their way behind you, in the time that you had found where you needed to stand, and when Elysia went to call the boys name. Subconsciously, you were also baring your chest, almost like you were proud.

You laugh when you watch Finnick walk down the walkway again. He looks to you, to see what’s funny, “Do you always walk like that?”

Elysia must have lost focus somewhere along the way, because she blinks quickly and focuses her eyes again. Then she also laughs, “You’re almost strutting.”

He grins, face turning a little red as he shakes his head, “Does it look tough enough?”

“You look ridiculous.” but he makes up for it when he stands at the stage right next to you. That’s when the two of you look like real competitors, with you standing tall, trying to make yourself look capable. And Finnick, not even trying and he still looks intimidating.

The rest pass like a blur. District Five fuels the power, so they’re only a little favored when it comes to things. They’re healthy looking too. District Six is transportation, no one stands out. Seven is lumber, which is when you start focusing again. When you see how big the two tributes are again. You mark them off too, Cass--the girl--and Mac.

Eight is textiles, nothing interesting. Nine is grain, which means that the poor districts are starting. Ten is livestock, eleven is agriculture, and twelve is mining coal. None of them had sprouted any interest in your mind, they don’t look threatening to you. In particular, twelve is the worst. With wobbly knees and pale faces, they look like they’re going to pass out at any minute.

And then just like that Elysia snaps the tv off, and you’re left sitting there in silence. She waits for a moment, before jumping up, “I suggest you two go off to bed, tomorrow will be very important.”

You and Finnick watch as she leaves the room, and right on cue, you two turn towards each other.

“The boy and girl from one are definitely problems,” you begin, and he nods, agreeing, “The girl is bigger than usual, which means that she’ll pose a bigger challenge.”

“They should be the first to go if we can make it possible.”

But how would that be? They’re one person of course, but they’re as good as three. They make up for the districts with people that don’t know what they’re doing, that get killed in the very beginning. In order to get them off, that would mean that a lot of people would have to band together.

“Are you suggesting we gather other tributes?” you ask, almost baffled by the idea. The more people, the more tension and fear that someone will betray the other.

“No, not too many.” he says, straightening his back, “Enough to help.”

He must see potential in the districts you saw nothing in, “We’ll have a better chance at looking them over later.”

He nods, he knows this already, “One, two and five.”

“Maybe three,” you get up from where you’re sitting, feeling the weight of today suddenly pressuring your shoulders.

“Maybe three,” he repeats, standing up too, “Off to bed so soon?”

You roll your eyes a little bit, “Yeah, I’m tired. Aren’t you?”

“I couldn’t feel more awake.”

-- CHAPTER THREE --

The morning comes before you’re ready for it. You drag your feet when it comes to taking a quick shower, and you throw on the nearest outfit that makes sense. It won’t really matter once you’re inside of the Capitol. You’ll be torn to pieces and then rebuilt at first chance.

You shouldn’t be too far off now. In fact, you probably should have made it there overnight, District Four is one of the closest districts to the Capitol. The only thing between you and them is District One. That one isn’t very surprising, they should be in the Capitol for a day now. The train goes so quickly, there wouldn’t be a reason to keep them from going.

You’ll probably barely have enough time to eat breakfast before you’re being shoveled off the train.

With that thought, you place the ring back onto your finger as you head out to the dining car, or room. Once you make it there, you see that you’re not the last. Finnick and Mags are still nowhere to be seen. However, Elysia sits at the table, a black coffee in hand as she looks over something in her hand. She pays you no attention when you sit at the table.

Immediately, you’re served food. Most of it you recognize because of the special days the district gets to eat well on. Not like you don’t get to eat things like this all the time, but the special foods like pancakes are something you haven’t seen in a while. You carefully eat like you did yesterday, trying not to overdo it, but also get a good amount of food in you.

Finnick comes in not too long after, taking his seat as he also starts to eat. However, he’s basically inhaling it, as if he hasn’t eaten in days. You’re impressed for a while, until he starts to turn a little green. Only then do you begin laughing at him, and he offers you a sheepish smile.

“Hungry?” you tease, and he rolls his eyes.

“I’ve been up for hours waiting to eat.” he tells you.

So he didn’t sleep last night, and that’s going to show. It took you a couple hours of tossing and turning, trying desperately to just get a little bit of time. Eventually, your body had decided that it might as well. You’re not in any danger just yet, you’re on a train to where the danger will start, but until then you’ll be fine.

“You need your sleep,” Elysia beats you to it, “But your stylists will cover it for now.”

Finnick offers her a small glance, and then he turns to you as if he’s disinterested with everything she has to say. It takes you a moment to realize that he’s not staring at you exactly, it’s past you. You turn to look over your shoulder to see that Mags is coming in now. She’s slow, and she looks like she’s struggling even with the cane she’s been provided with.

The peacekeepers take a step to help her, but you jump up before they have the chance. The mere thought of them touching her is disgusting to you. They work for the Capitol. They’re hugely ignorant and arrogant. They stand by and let all of this happen, hell, they’re coming from the districts around you.

Mags gives you a smile of appreciation, and Finnick helps out a little bit too when he sees how much trouble it is. With the help of you both, she gets seated and begins to eat. What you didn’t see before, is that she has a pad of paper, which she’s using one hand to write with, and the other to eat.

Her neat handwriting covers the paper, in a small paragraph. She turns the paper to you, and you tilt your head to read it. For a second, your mind blanks because it believes you’ve never read cursive before, but then it slowly comes back to you. You’re mouthing the words, picking up the paper as you take your time to hand it off to Finnick.

Lesson 1: Sponsors. Looking presentable for the Capitol people will be your greatest chance at survival. In order to do that, you’ll have to play up the act a little bit. Who are you?

It’s a simple question, but you find yourself struggling to answer. When you pass the paper back to her, she writes down one word beside it.

Personality?

Oh.

“What does it say?” Finnick asks, tilting his head, but he can’t see it anyway, he’s on the other end of the table.

“Personality.” you say for him, looking to Mags, “You mean like clever, smart…?”

She nods a little, and you look to the window for a moment, thinking. Allowing Finnick to get the chance to answer before you. What is your personality?

“Well, we have the same personality for the most part.” Finnick starts to answer for the both of you, “Smart with the basic district stuff, strong.”

“Deadly.” you add, and Mags raises her eyebrows a little bit, so you elaborate, “I throw spears, and I’ve seen Finnick with a trident.”

Finnick flushes for a second, but it clears out, “The trident is on special occasions. Mostly spears.”

You sit in silence, she writes, “What else?” you shake your head for a second, trying to come up with the adjectives, and then it comes back to you, “I’m considerate and kind. I have well manners.”

Mags writes all of this down, and you can see the word ‘humble’, and then she writes down damsel.

For a second, you’re not sure what you think of it, but you see it soon enough. Playing the innocent, damsel role and having everyone underestimate you. If they overlook you, then that gives you a better chance at winning.

“I can’t play that up,” you tell her, because you remember seeing yourself on the screen again, how you stood strong, “The reaping--”

Everyone looks like that, she writes, No one wants to be targeted.

And she’s right. All those people you had seen last night were trying to look bigger than they were. Except for the kids, when their shoulders would hunch in on themselves, trying to disappear. As much as possible, you’ll all try to look strong to be picked for an alliance. Those who aren’t picked are left to suffer.

This will throw Finnick’s entire plan off course. If you play damsel, then that means you have to downplay all your skills. Make it look like you’re incapable of winning. No sponsors, no alliance. The only person that’ll be able to save you is Mags and yourself. Maybe your brothers back home will somehow afford to send something your way.

You’ll have to purposely score low in training, to really lower the expectations. Mags might even go as far to tell your stylists not to do too well on yours and Finnick’s matching outfits.

Mags writes again while you’re thinking, and you read it so you can look to Finnick, “She wants to know about you.”

Finnick looks like he’s been waiting for his turn, “Strong, tall. Almost all the girls at school love me, so attractive--”

As he’s listing what he’s made of, you see one word for him. Cunning. He’s going to be playing up the tough arrogant act. He’ll be purposely showing off, he’ll be the one that gets all the sponsors. The alliance he proposed will be his, the careers will be tripping over their feet to get him in their pack.

Suddenly, you can’t help but to feel a little jealous, and detached.

Finnick is the boy, he’s going to be expected to win. But you have the age advantage, so they’ll also be looking to you to win. At least for some people, for others it doesn’t matter at all. Back home, they’ll be hoping that only one of you comes back in a casket.

“What’s my word?”

“Cunning,” you tell him quietly, invested in your food again. Your stomach has managed to settle, so you try to stuff it again, the more the better. You’re not sure when you’ll be able to eat after this.

The train car blacks out for a couple of seconds, and then light fills it again. Elysia looks over her shoulder, and then her face lights up as she hops up from her seat, “Home sweet home.”

You and Finnick move to the window, looking out it for a moment. Bright lights fill the car, blinding you. When you’ve blinked away the lights, you can see just how many Capitol people have come to the station to greet you two.

A sigh leaves you and for a moment you want to move away. And then, you realize that if you’re going for that damsel type, you have to look clueless. Like you’re always in a daze or something. So, you begin to wave the exact same moment Finnick does. And even through the thick walls of the train car, you can hear the roaring of their cheers.

Your stylist’s assistants are very nice, and they try to be as gentle as possible when it comes to what they have to do. For a minute they just stood and stared almost as if they had no clue on how to start with you. And then, they went straight to work. Removing every inch of hair from your body, besides what’s on your head.

Your hair is now silky smooth, and smells of strawberries. Your body is sore, but soft from how many bathes they’ve made you soak in. Your nails have been cleaned, filed and they have a very thin layer of nail polish on them. Only a little bit, because they were afraid that your main stylist would want to change that later.

Your eyebrows have been plucked, leaving you sculpted. They’ve applied some sort of teeth whitener, trying to make it scary white like theirs. A couple of times they’ve told you to straighten your back to stand tall. Only then did you realize that they were taking measurements, and after that you stood very still to allow the to.

“I think we’re all done now.” Cleo says, taking a step back to access you one last time, “Laurel is going to love you.”

She says nothing else, grabbing onto the arm of the girl that she was working with. You hadn’t heard much from her, she mostly listened as Cleo babbled on. With the occasion prompt to keep her talking. It’s almost as if she didn’t want to do any of it herself.

You rock on the table, back and forth as you stare at the wall ahead. Trying to imagine yourself winning the games. All that it’ll take to get to that point too. You find yourself regretting how you described yourself, even if you were being honest.

The door opens, revealing a very tall woman. Her hair is held back by a simple hairband, trying to keep it from her face, you’re guessing. It’s the same thing you do when you know it’ll be an irritating day. However, with these people it’s never irritating, they live in luxury. They’re all brightly colored and rich and they never have to worry about going hungry, ever.

She wears a white shirt, and a black blazer. Her pants are ironed nearly, and she has a pair of black heels on. The second she steps into the room, she slips them off though, only lowering her height just a little bit. She’s naturally tall it seems, and she seems proud of it. Not afraid to get bigger.

“I’m Laurel.” she introduces herself, “(Y/n), right?”

She has to know that it’s you, “Yeah.”

“Stand up for me?” she asks, and you slip off the table, standing in front of her. She walks around you, looking at your body, taking all of it into consideration. Laurel will stare for a moment, and then she’ll move your hair. She checks your nails to see that they’re very neat, and she seems pleased with that, “Take your robe.”

You reach over for it, slipping it on and then folding your arms over your chest anyway. You almost want to hunch in on yourself like you saw the kids doing at the reaping. But then, you remove your arms and make yourself stand a bit taller. Reminding yourself that you need to have more worth, carry that energy until it’s not carrying anymore. Until it is you.

“Mags tells me that you’re going for a more subtle look.” Laurel sits down on a nice couch, you make sure to tuck the robe beneath you as you sit, “Humble?”

You nod lightly, “I think she’s going for an underestimated look.”

“And do you feel the same?”

You dodge the question a little bit, “Finnick is going for cunning, isn’t he? I want to be presented the same way he does, but I wouldn’t mind if we did something along the lines of humble.”

She takes this into consideration, nodding lightly, “How would you feel about a two-piece? Almost like a bathing suit?”

You really hope you don’t end up in some skin-showing outfit, “Sure.”

She nods to this, looking pleased, “Blue, definitely blue.”

It’s only a couple of hours later, when you’re standing side-by-side with Finnick. He looks like he’s more in a bathing suit than you do. They’ve completely taken his shirt, and just put on a tunic almost, for his lower half. His designer has gotten him covered with vines, some drawn on and some of them real. It’s supposed to look like he’s came out of the water, like he’s been there for a while.

As a joke, you suggested dying him a blue-green because of how copper fades. His stylist considered it for a moment, even turning to Laurel to ask if it were possible to do it in an hour. But then Finnick piped up that he did not want to be a shade of green, and glared at you. It was all in good fun and he knows that. Didn’t stop him from jabbing you in your ribs when he had the chance.

You and Finnick are wearing nearly the same pair of leather sandals. Yours only goes up to your ankles, as his surrounds his calves, stopping just a little bit below the knee. He has that tunic around his waist, which wrinkles in all the right places, and it’s pinned to keep from falling.

Laurel had already built off of the bathing suit idea, deciding that you were worth more than just a pair of half-naked teenagers. She kept the aspect, but added a couple of things to it. On your upper body, your hair is curled to look more natural, going for the beachy-type but not exact. Macara, blue eyeshadow, the works go on your face. They’d outdone themselves with the white eyeliner, purposely tying to give you a goddess aspect, you guess?

You definitely know they were going Roman, even if it’s just a little bit.

They secured a bracelet around your upper arm, it’s a couple of waves. On your upper half of your body, you have a bra on almost. But the straps are thick, and the padding pushes it all up. It’s tight around the ripbs, keeping it from lifting off your chest, as they tried to show off some curves. It ends somewhere in the middle of your ribs.

And as for your waist, she decided for a high-waisted short bottom. Attached to it is a train almost. The flaps are attached to your left hip, giving it a sort-of leg slit. But the fabric is see-through, so it’s not much. The entire color scheme is a muted sea green. On your wrists are silver bracelets, on your neck is a lone shell necklace. Laurel had successfully acquired your ring, adding it to the outfit, even if the people from the stands won’t be able to see it exactly.

Laurel and Finnick’s stylist have you and Finnick walk around. Making small adjustments to everything so it flows better. In no time, you’re told to get onto your chariot with the blonde horses. Before you guys take off, Laurel makes one very last minute change.

She makes you wrap your arms around Finnick’s left one. Your right arm goes under, closest to his body. That one will stay permanently, and your left arm goes over, which will be the one you wave with and such.

“This is so exciting,” Finnick chirps, a smile already coming over his face, and then, “Oh!”

He reaches into a pocket that you didn’t know he had, and he pulls out a small sugar cube. You laugh, taking it with your left hand as you turn it over for a second. When you look over, the both of you share a look, before popping the sugar in your mouths at the same time.

The sweet taste takes over your tongue immediately, and you can’t help but grin. As you turn to look off to the ground, you watch as the audience turns to see the newcomers coming in.

The cheering gets louder, and then there’s pointing. You smile with your teeth, giving a wave, while also trying to think of embarrassing things. It takes a moment, but it all comes rushing back, and you find your face heating up very quickly.

“She’s blushing!” one of them yells, there’s a series of screams and ‘awing’ that follow after, and Finnick laughs.

“You play the act well.”

“For you it’s not even an act.” you say through clenched teeth, making sure the smile reaches your eyes.

Every single time you hear someone yell your name, you turn to look in that direction. If you’re going to get sponsors, you’ll want them to each every single bit of this shit up. You make surprised faces, cover your mouth, cower into Finnick and let him pretend to coax you out. The cheering only gets louder, until their attention is turned back to the newcomers.

When the chariot stops, you feel your face cooling considerably, and you sigh in relief, because it’s hard to keep thinking of embarrassing things. Once you bring up the effect again, it’s almost as if it’s useless. All those memories are so faded, that it’s hard to even think of them anymore. You hardly ever make bad mistakes like that.

You wait patiently as Snow makes his appearance and says his piece about everything. The anthem plays, you guys show up as you watch the flag. And then, there’s one final lap around the little circle, before you guys have vanished inside of the building.

There, Laurel and the other stylist are waiting for you. Laurel nods at you approvingly, probably glad that you still held on even though it wasn’t really necessary anymore. You slide off of the chariot with Finnick, stretching your arm. You cross them back over your chest, as you look around.

Soon enough, your prep teams are slowly distancing themselves, standing off to the side. Which offers a perfect opportunity for the others to see, measure you and Finnick up. You do the same, because the only other times you’ll see them is for training, and then later for the interviews. These moments where you over or underestimate them are crucial.

District one has a clear eye on you and Finnick.

“Trink and Lennox are staring.” You tell Finnick, trying not to look over, but he looks them dead on, almost like he doesn’t care.

He waves for a second, beckoning them over. You’re about to tell him that it’s a really bad idea, but they start their way over. So, you place the mask back on, and take a step back, allowing Finnick to do whatever it is he thought he wanted to do.

“Finnick,” He introduces himself, offering his hand.

Lennox looks to Trink for a moment, almost impressed as he takes Finnick’s hand, shaking it a couple of times, “Lennox.”

Of course, you know their names already, so it seems a little useless to introduce yourselves. But then it dawns on you, that they probably don’t know your names.

You make a feeble attempt to do the same, “I’m (Y/n).”

“Oh, we know.” Trink’s smile transforms into a smirk, “Gallows, huh? Like getting hung from the gallows…”

You hate her already.

You laugh lightly, trying to bring the smile to your eyes again, “I guess! I never made that connection before! It’s only fitting now that I’m in the games, huh? Do you think I have a chance?”

What if you play damsel until it comes to the private session with the gamemakers. What if you show off your skills then, score high, and then see what happens to the tributes around you. See if their sudden interest sparks and they want you on their side after all.

You wonder how Reed would feel about you teaming up with the careers. If he would be telling you to steer away from them, because they’re hostile, and vile and sometimes a little messed up in the head from all that training at a young age. It makes them want to volunteer, no sane person could truly want that unless they’ve been brainwashed.

Trink shares a look with Lennox for a second, and then behind her you see that the crowd is about to have two more people added to it, as District Two comes over here. You slump your shoulders slightly, tilting your head at the newcomers. Eytelle and Allio, the tall girl and the boy who spun the knife in his hand during the reaping.

“Are these four?” Allio asks, you take the guess now that he’s going to be the chattier one.

Eytelle is… the only comparison you can make with her, is that she’s shorter than Laurel, but not by much. Her parents must be giants, because if she’s only sixteen or so she’ll keep growing for a while. The height will give her an advantage when it comes to running, but she’ll have trouble trying to hide so easily.

“Clearly.” Trink mutters, looking over you a little more, “So what’s your skills?”

“That’s for us to know and for you to find out.” Finnick answers for both of you, “We don’t give shit away so easily. What are we getting in return?”

Trink measures this, but Allio speaks first, “Maybe a friendship if you play your cards right.”

A smile spreads over your face, as you try to look excited, “Wow! An alliance, that’ll be helpful!”

Lennox looks pleased at the suggestion, “Only if you want.”

Finnick offers you a glance, and you bob your head, trying to urge him to agree but not look desperate. This is what he wanted after all, and if you careers band together, then there’s no doubt that all of you will get a good portion of the population inside of the arena down before you know it.

You’re already forming a plan in your head. Team up with the careers, get to know all of their skills that they’ll show off inside of the training center. There, you will memorize everything, while also learning new skills. Then, when it comes to the arena, you’ll plot their murders very carefully. You’ll pick them off very carefully, space them so it doesn’t look like your fault.

But this would all work so much better if only one of you were in the pack. Finnick lures them to you, you kill them, injure him a little bit, and send him back to get the others riled up.

It’s not a bad plan, you’ll just have to work out the kinks, and present this to Finnick.

He is your accomplice.

-- CHAPTER FOUR --

This morning, Elysia had come to your room to wake you up. For a second, you thought she was doing it so that you’d be early to the table like you normally are. But she was kind enough to inform you that you had slept in past what she wanted already. Mags has been the only reason you’ve been allowed to stay in bed for so long.

As you got ready, you were a little confused on how you’d managed to sleep for so long. You're normally one of the people first awake, especially here. Once your body decides that it has enough energy to run off of, it sort of just wakes you up. You’ve been sleeping soundly every single night, as far as you know. So the exhaustion is coming out of nowhere.

It wasn’t until you had brought it up to them, where Finnick had informed you that you hadn’t slept as soundly as you thought. After you had eaten dinner last night, you’d stayed awake a little while to bring up the plan to Finnick, to get his opinion about luring them to their deaths. He seemed to like it, and then you went off to sleep in your own room.

He says that it must have been a couple of hours before the screaming had started. The first to the room was Mags, but she wasn’t able to get you up, since speaking is difficult for her. Instead, Finnick had to shake you awake, coaxing you out of whatever nightmare you had been trapped in.

You don’t remember any of it, it’s impossible for you to recall what happened. Elysia says that you must have been asleep still, but Finnick and Mags says you were coherent. You could hear them, and you listened to them try to calm you down from hyperventilating. Once you were in a good enough state, Mags went back to bed, and Finnick stayed a little while.

He just wanted to make sure that you would go back to sleep, but it had taken a while for you to calm down enough to get your heart to stop producing the adrenaline. Finnick tried to sit in the silence, but he wanted to know what the nightmare was about. What had gotten you to the point of screaming and hyperventilating.

You can’t remember it now, even though you’re awake and most of the time can relive the dream a little bit. It was apparently about you drowning, and that was all that you’d tell him. There had to be more though, because you’re not afraid of the water, you live in District Four. To be afraid of drowning would be so fucking ridiculous.

You have a feeling that it was about you taking your father's place in the accident, again. It’s a common nightmare you have. You’ll be on the boat with your brothers, and everything will be going good. But the boat will rock when one of you try messing with the other. Mox gets knocked off, you scramble to save him only to fall off the side. In the water, he’s nowhere to be seen. And then Reed will turn on the boat, leaving you in the middle of the water. The water only gets colder the more time goes on, and your joints will freeze in place. Swimming back to shore is impossible and you die out there, every single time.

You didn’t bother to explain all of that to Finnick, because you’re not looking for pity, it’s no point for him to know your life story. Instead you nodded along and went back to eating, because you then knew why you had been so exhausted. All it takes is one nightmare and a couple of shots of adrenaline to keep you going for a long ass time apparently.

Mags then transitioned into the training that you’re actually in right now. She pulled out her paper and pen and asked if you guys would want to train together. You told her that you’d already formed an alliance with him, so it would be pointless to hide anything. Finnick agreed, and then Mags went on to explain to hide most of your skills.

Just as you predicted anyway. She had wanted you guys to keep it low on the profile, especially you. Mainly she wants you to play dumb and go around with the stations, fumble with most of the things you do but take your time with learning them. She also knows of the career pack proposal, so she reminds you to keep friendly with them too, if that’s going to be your goal.

Of course, she doesn’t want you guys to get too attached or close. Don’t trust them because the chances of them turning on you at first chance is a little too easy. It will only be a matter of time in the arena before the tension snaps at they make a jump to kill any of you. You already know this. If you go through with the plan, then that means that they're going to be suspicious of everyone in the pack anyway.

Finnick is supposed to be good at everything inside of the training center. But as you watch him circle and go around the stations with Allio and Lennox, you can’t help but to think he looks like an idiot. Allio is more skilled in combat than you guys are, he can throw just about anything a good distance. Lennox seems to be the same.

You’ve watched as they make him throw spears, knives, axes, swords, just to see how good he is at it. They’re looking impressed, but you’re starting to see through Finnick’s facade. He keeps making a wince face each time he thinks he’s thrown it too terribly, his confident mask is falling too easily.

“Wow, look at her.” Trink says, you look up from the fire that you’re trying to start to see that they’re staring dead straight at the girl from District Eleven. You squint for a second to see what she’s doing, and then you smile.

“Thyme, right?” Eytelle asks, her arms are crossed over her chest, and she hunches over like she’s trying to make herself look like you’re all in the same height range, “She’s showing off.”

“Aren’t we all?” you ask, turning back to the fire, getting it started this time. Trink turns over, and you clap quickly, the smile turning to a grin as you look to the other two girls, like a proud kid, “I did it!”

“Took you a while.” Eytelle mutters, “What are you actually skilled at?”

“Besides fires, and knot tying.” Trink adds.

You have to show off at least one skill to get these people interested, “I can show up Finnick with the throwing.”

Trink perks up, “Show us.”

You push yourself up from your knees, starting your way to where the boys are. On the way, you make eye contact with Thyme. She has dark hair, brown-black it looks like. She’s tan, fairly tall, green eyes. She’s got to be the same age as you, because she looks young.

“I hear that District Eleven and Twelve have the skilled hunters--or at least they know what berries and leaves are safe to eat.” you tell them, “Thyme will be very useful.”

Eytelle scoffs, “Who says we can’t hunt actual food? Like meat?”

“What happens when there’s a storm, when all the fish and forest animals are out of the question? Berries, leaves, bark and all of that will save your lives instead. Turning someone like her down simply because she comes from a poor district is…. Stupid.” you tell them, and then you stalk off to join the guys for real.

“Hey Finnick!” he turns while he’s about to throw a knife, Allio and Lennox give you a quick look up and down. You haven’t really talked to them this entire time. Over your shoulder, you can see Eytelle approaching Thyme, while Trink bounces over.

“Well, go ahead.”

You hold out your hand for the knife that Finnick is holding. He gives you a warning look almost, like you don’t know what you’re doing, before handing it over. You give him a cheeky smile, “Watch and learn.”

You flip the knife around to hold it by the blade. Taking in a deep breath, you slowly let it out because you can’t fuck this up. And then, you draw your arm back, before throwing the knife forward with all the strength possible.

The knife covers the twenty feet in less than three seconds, hitting the dummy square in the head. You tilt your head slightly, “It’s a little off center.”

“Off center? You hit that thing….” Allio trails off, and you turn around to see Finnick with a smirk on his face.

Thyme is standing with Eytelle, and she claps a little bit for you, “Can you teach me to throw like that?”

“Sure!” you turn to look at the others, letting Trink narrow her eyes on you. She might be seeing through the act a little bit, “It’s the one thing I’m good at, I’ve had so much time to learn in District Four. I’ll teach Finnick too if you guys wanna go off by yourselves.”

They agree, heading off to some sort of other place they can show off at. Once they’ve gotten out of earshot, the smile on your face drops and you mock them for a second, grabbing the nearest knife. You throw it, and it hits the chest this time, “Thinking I can understand them just because--god are they annoying.”

Finnick snorts, before turning to look at Thyme, “Finnick, this is (Y/n).”

“I’ve heard.” She chirps happily, picking up one of the knives before turning to you, “When do we get started?”

You spend the next hour or so showing your new friend how to throw. Finnick isn’t so bad, it’s just the doubt that gets him. You tell them both that the less confidence they have in the throw, the worse it’ll turn out. Plus, throwing the knife is better than nothing in most situations anyway. If you have more tucked away, then it won’t hurt.

If the person is within your range, then the best you can do is at least try. It could turn out really well and you end up nailing them like you should. Or it could be horrible, land somewhere close to them. But you could call that a warning and say you did it on purpose later on.

Thyme turns out to be really nice, and she explains how Eytelle approached her. This is when you inform her that it was your idea, no matter what Eytelle had told her. To have her with you guys could put her in danger, but you’re all going to die anyway. She’s an outlying district, the chances of her winning is already slim. You basically just gave her a chance.

She’s already picked up on your act the second that the others come back around to check up on you. This is when Finnick lets them know that you’re really skilled at it, despite failing in all the other stations you’d managed to hit while walking around with them. Except for the obvious ones with knot tying, starting the fire and all of that.

Lennox jokingly asks what rock you’ve been living under for these past years, as if he can’t believe that you have no clue what you’re doing at all. But you just offer him a smile and shrug, saying that you don’t really have time for other things like that. You muse that if it weren’t for the fact that they’re agreeing for an alliance that you’d probably die in there alone.

They seem satisfied with that, and even though you hadn’t thanked them by any means, they say ‘you’re welcome’ and move on. This is when you and Finnick hang back.

Soon, you get bored of training, and you’re about to wave Thyme off, before she asks if she’s really included in the alliance. You tell her that it looks like it, and they wouldn’t have let her tag around, much less offered if they were kidding. She looks pretty satisfied, and you tell her to make friends with the others too. If this this fails then she’ll want an escape plan.

After that you leave the training center with Finnick, take the elevator up to your district floor, and go in to see that Laurel is showing off designs to Mags.

“Oops, are we walking in on something?” you ask, and Laurel looks over with a smile, “Not at all, welcome back.”

“Dinner will be served in an hour.” Elysia mutters, looking over from the tv.

“She’s telling us that we think and should probably shower.” Finnick whispers to you, Mags hears this and laughs.

She nods slightly, before shooing the both of you out the room as soon as Finnick’s stylist shows up behind you guys. It looks like they want to keep your interview outfits a surprise. It makes sense, they’re all about surprises and being prestigious. They think the outfits matter--because they do--but you don’t have that same taste. Neither does Finnick.

Back home you two would probably settle for a shirt and a pair of jeans. The occasion jacket, a nice pair of comfortable boots, and then that would be it. There’s not much to do around four, so there wouldn’t be a reason to dress up besides reaping day. You spend most of your time in a boat or in water.

Which means that you’re not even wearing boots, it would be a pair of sandals. If it’s cold in the morning, then your toes freeze and you just have to deal with it. Either you tuck your feet beneath you or shut up and just be cold. There’s a good possibility that you get thrown overboard by accident or on purpose. Or you’re spearing fish in the shallow, jeans being pulled up to your calves as you wade through the water.

You and Finnick stop outside your doors again, and he leans up against the wall.

“Allio and Lennox are annoying.”

“Stuck up?” you ask, a smile spreading over your face.

He rolls his eyes, “I don’t even think that word fits them. They think everyone inside of the arena is going to be easy to kill. That I’m probably going to be the only one who poses a threat.”

Your eyebrows raise, “They’re buying my act?”

“They don’t even think it’s an act. They think that you’re geniunely stupid and you’re just getting lucky with some of the things you know.”

That’s fair, you’re trying to play up the dumb damsel thing. You have to have one skill that will impress the gamemakers, and that will be just about it. If they keep you around for your skill to kill people, then that’ll be good enough. As long as you’re around.

“That’s good.”

“Anything about the other two? Trinket and Eyeball?” he purposely gets their names wrong.

You snort, “They’re buying it as good as the other two. I managed to convince them to invite Thyme, which I think will turn out handy.”

“How did you do that anyway?”

“Simply told them that if we run low on food and can’t find any animals, then berries and leaves is gonna be all that we have. So, she’ll be our best bet.”

He’s impressed, “Smart.”

“Yeah, I know. Any of the others show potential?”

“The boy from three, he’s been making things in the corner. Saw him make a knife from a stick, some vine and a rock.” Finnick tells you.

So he’ll definitely be dangerous. He’ll know how to make his own weapons from absolutely nothing. You wonder what else he knows how to make. If he can make knives, then there’s a possibility for a bow, spears, axes. Just depends on what setting you’re all going to be placed in.

“The others seem pretty reserved, or they’re not showing off what they can do.” Finnick yawns.

“Finally tired?” you tease.

“After sitting with you all night? Hell yeah I am.” he stretches, and then relaxes, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Yeah,” you wave him off, before going to your room.

You sit on the floor mainly, staring out the window, watching as the people below celebrate the games already. All you can think about is your family back home, and how they’re all holding up. You hope that Reed isn’t being too hard on Mox. You’re hoping that Mox hasn’t been crying this entire time, because there’s nothing to be worried about. You wonder if Alyssum notices that you’re gone.

You have a greater chance now. With an alliance forming, with learning all the new things that Thyme had taught you when she brought you to her special station. Showed you all the berries and leaves she could afford to before the others had come around again.

It’s almost like she didn’t want to show them, which is really fair. She doesn’t trust them as much, and you don’t either. But it also doesn’t make sense because technically you and Finnick are careers anyway. It could be because of the fact that you’re playing two different personalities, that you’re actually not stupid and just using them. Or it could be from a different reason that you don’t know.

She’s really nice though, and you’re glad that you suggested her. She shows promise, she learns really quickly. It took only a couple of minutes for her to learn to throw properly. It was just her doubt that was holding her back for the rest of the time.

When you disband the careers, you hope that she’ll stick with you. But when it comes down to the end, you don’t want to be the one that kills her. She’s too nice, she even told you a little bit about her family back home.

The more you get to know someone, the less you want to actually kill them, and that’s the painful part. If you were to get to know everyone that’s going to be thrown in, then you’ll feel bad. Except for Trink, Eytelle, Allio and Lennox, though. They volunteered and they’ve been training for this their entire lives.

It’s hard to feel bad for them. They leave everything they have behind just so that they can get the glory of a victor house. Infinite amounts of money, even though they basically already have that, since they’re rich. They just want to have their names be known for the generations to come. Be the ones to train the next pair of tributes that come on the train.

You don’t know how they’d want that at all. All they do is get the pain of watching the tributes die after they fail to do it properly. Then again, career. Volunteering. They almost always win. The works.

This really is going to suck.

LACUNA IS THE FIRST VERSION OF BELAMOUR

//MASTERLIST//

#ilguna #finnick odair #lacuna #lacuna chapter one #lacuna chapter two #lacuna chapter three #lacuna chapter four

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undeadsnorlax · 3 years

Text

Alone at Midnight, Inside My Mind

@badthingshappenbingo

Ao3 Link

Bingo Card

using the prompt in a metaphorical sense, as opposed to the medical aid sense

Prompt: Crutches

Fandom: Yakuza/Ryu Ga Gotoku

Warnings: a lot of alcohol related issues, including addiction and withdrawal, some suicidal thoughts and body image issues, hurt/no comfort. set pre-Yakuza 2.

Wordcount: 5511

2pm. He could tell it was because his downstairs neighbour was home, attending to the array of plant pots she kept littered outside her door, and playing music on the radio that bled through the crack of the open window.

Daigo squinted in the afternoon light that managed to make its way through the blinds, groaning loudly.

“Fucking hell…”

Suppose now was as good a time as any to start the day. Especially when he felt his stomach rumble.

It took some effort to get to his feet, but soon he was dragging himself into the kitchen, yawning loudly. He needed something quick and tasty, now.

The fridge had nothing but convenience store sushi and days old leftover curry. The cupboards were also pretty bare, half a bag of rice and a ramen cup.

Daigo sighed heavily, setting his kettle to boil before grabbing the sushi. He stuffed a piece into his mouth, wrinkling his nose at the taste of stale rice but ate another without any complaint.

Head to the store. Get some more food, he thought, holding the ramen cup in place as he lifted up the kettle.

The water splashed on the counter a little, narrowly missing burning his fingers, making him forcefully slam the kettle back down once the cup was filled.

Daigo gripped the sides of the counter, closing his eyes as he felt a pulse of nausea rush through his body. If he forced the tension against the surface hard enough, he could stop his hands shaking for just a moment.

Eat noodles. Have a shower. Go to the store.

Opening his eyes again, he ate another piece of sushi, absolutely no taste on his tongue as he chewed it into mush, before taking his ramen into the living room.

He slumped down on the couch, turning the TV on and forced the food down him. He still felt nauseous, but he knew he wouldn’t actually vomit. He already had last night. Doubled over in a bush outside the train station and puked his guts out, despite not having much solids in him. Even now his throat felt sore from it. Classy.

He wasn’t even hungry, really. He was eating out of obligation, feeling his stomach gurgle happily at finally being filled with some kind of food.

As he ate, he noticed his cell phone on the table in front of him, discarded amongst the empty bottles and candy wrappers. It was flashing.

Daigo frowned, reaching over and flipping it open.

Three new answer machine messages.

Who the hell had tried calling him?

Message one - 9:25am

“Daigo, it’s your mother. Pick up.”

Message two - 9:43am

“Me again. Please answer your phone.”

Message three - 10:08am

“Daigo...it’s Mom-“

Daigo groaned, snapping his phone shut to end the messages. Nope! He was not dealing with this today.

He discarded the empty ramen cup and chopsticks with the rest of the trash on the table, storming towards the bathroom.

Shower on, clothes off. He used the toilet as the water heated up, catching the reflection of his upper half in the mirror as he finished.

“Hrmph.”

He ran a hand down his front, resting it on the middle of his stomach and huffed again.

His weight had been up and down the last ten years, though it had obviously settled during his stint in prison, with its shit food and no alcohol. Now that he was out, with all the freedom to indulge in every last inch of hedonism he could find though, he had developed a bit of a gut. Just a bump, but it was…noticeable, it was there. It stuck out.

No surprise really. How much did he drink last night again?

Enough I puked in a bush.

Daigo shifted on his feet, standing up a bit straighter and sucking his stomach in. It didn’t make much difference. He suddenly wondered how visible it was under his t-shirt, glad he usually wore a thick coat to hide himself in.

“Great,” he growled, stepping into the shower. Another thing to feel insecure about.

He stood there, forehead pressed against the wall as he let the water run down the Fudo Myoo on his back.

His hand started shaking again.

“Give me a break,” he said, clasping it to his chest, “A few hours, a day.”

He dried himself off, going back to his bedroom for a clean shirt and pair of jeans – both black, of course.

He also grabbed a heavy hoodie to wear to the store, a way to feel a little more comfortable in himself in a public place.

Wallet, keys, phone. Go to store. Buy supplies.

Daigo pulled his hood up as he jogged down the stairs, immediately blocked from leaving by the downstairs neighbour still gardening.

“Lovely afternoon, isn’t it Dojima-san?” Ito cried, beaming at him. She was older, always so chipper. How did she manage?

As much as he wanted to ignore her, Daigo had been raised with far too proper manners. He still remained casual, grunting a little and rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah, suppose.”

“You came back late again last night,” she added, hands lifting a plant to move to another pot, “Ouma-san went off about it before going to work this morning.”

“Oh, did he now?”

Ouma was the guy around his age in the apartment next door. Always miserable, always bringing a new girl home every weekend that Daigo had to endure hearing fake horribly through his thin bedroom walls.

“I’ll try to be a bit quieter next time, Ito-san,” he mumbled. For her sake, not for that asshole Ouma.

“Or maybe you should stay in once in a while, hm?”

Daigo scowled, jerking his head and storming off toward the store. With any luck the old bag would have gone inside by the time he was back.

As he made his way down the street, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He went to answer but paused, clenching his fingers tight into his palm. Nope. He knew who it was, and what she wanted, and he didn’t care.

His supply run was basic. More noodles, packs of chips and cookies, some onigiri and bentos that could last a few days.

Whilst picking up a few bottles of Staminan and Tauriner, he stared blankly at the alcohol.

His hands still shook. There was such a quick fix to settle that.

He grabbed a six pack of beer and a bottle of scotch and vodka, unable to help a crooked little grin.

The cashier looked at him a little oddly as he set his basket down on the counter. And yeah, he’d admit he looked strange. Sweating and shaky from withdrawal, under his eyes dark and his brow pulled into a near permanent scowl, face otherwise obscured by the shadow of the hood.

“Get me some cigarettes too, huh?” he mumbled, taking out his wallet and avoiding eye contact.

He was a mess.

He stared at the glass case of baked goods, unable to resist the pull from his sweet tooth, and asked for two donuts as well.

He arrived back home rather pleased with his haul. He had enough in him to pack away most of it, before he stared down the booze he bought.

He could...not do this, actually. He could not drink. It was easy, in theory.

He wiped his damp brow, licked his dry lips. His head hurt, despite the slight gloom of the kitchen.

They could sit there as an ultimate temptation. He could ignore them. He could do all manner of things.

But he wanted to drink, that was the issue. That was the whole point. Drinking was the only thing he had that stayed consistent.

He grabbed the scotch and slugged back a long mouthful, feeling everything just melt away. He let out a relieved gasp, the taste strong on his tongue and warming his throat. Felt like a part of him was back. His mind became a little clearer, his mood a little more elevated. He took a shorter swig for luck, rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Much better…”

He spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on the sofa, playing video games. There wasn’t much else for him to do during the day.

Evening was his time.

When seven rolled around, Daigo got ready. His jeans and t-shirt were fine already, so all he had to do was put on his usual cross necklace to complete the outfit. He spent a while staring down himself in the mirror as he applied a shaky dash of eyeliner around his lid.

Once upon a time he shied away from doing this publicly, but since leaving jail he stopped caring. Wore eyeliner and straightened his hair. Painted his nails black and picked at the polish when he was anxious. Who gave a shit? Anyone dumb enough to say anything soon regretted it.

Keys, wallet, phone. Same routine. He chose his white puffer jacket to wear instead of his hoodie, enjoying the barrier it gave him from the rest of the world.

One quick metro ride later, he was in Kamurocho, just as the town was coming alive in a burst of neon. Daigo lost himself in the crowds, thinking of which bar to hit up first.

He paused for a moment down Tenkaichi Street, staring at the sign for Serena. Place was closed, and had been for a little under a year now.

He knew what happened last year, of course. Heard about Rina through another barkeep. Not that he’d known her well, or spent much time at Serena, but something in his chest ached hearing she was gone in such circumstances.

He soon forgot about it with another glass.

With a weary huff, he decided the Champion District on the other side of town was the best place to start. The bar he chose was quiet, no other customers, and a barman who knew when to keep his mouth shut.

Perfect.

Instead of conversation, Daigo focused on the soft jazz music playing as he nursed his whiskey. He was into heavier tunes, but he needed a bit more of a buzz before going to his favourite rock bar.

He tapped his nails against the glass, tilting his head. Good idea, actually. They did cheap shots and a big array of imports.

He slammed some cash down on the counter before stumbling into the street, glad to feel the slight evening chill on his cheeks.

Down to Pink Street, and into the rock bar he enjoyed. Already feeling at home with the heavy guitar music blasting over the speakers, most of the other patrons dressed in a similar style to him. He’d missed out on a lot of stuff whilst locked away, the slight sways in fashion that happened in such a short amount of time, but he liked knowing he was still on trend within his scene, mostly.

He sat at the counter, giving a half-grin to the girl working there, and ordered himself five shots of vodka.

His earlier drinks had been a warmup, these were the first leg of the race. The second came in the form of a large scotch, some new brand they’d started selling.

Honestly, the start to a perfect night for him, until he heard a small gasp from behind him.

“Hey! Aniki!”

Daigo’s heart sank at the voice, glancing over his shoulder. Five of the guys he usually hung around with were there – or more accurately, they hung around him.

He rolled his eyes and groaned, turning in his seat and glaring them down. He should never had shown them this place.

“What do you want?” he muttered, already knowing the answer.

“We didn’t know you were out today!” Arita cried, leaning up next to him, with that sycophantic look he always had in his eyes. As if Daigo wasn’t out every night.

“Why don’t you join us aniki?” Kubo asked, which actually translated to wanna pay for all our drinks because we’re cheap scrounging bastards?

Daigo groaned again, knocking back his glass and waving the bartender over again.

“If you quit calling me aniki.”

They didn’t, of course. They gleefully accepted the drinks he bought them with more coos of thank you Dojima-aniki. Daigo rubbed the bridge of his nose and ordered himself two double scotches, slugging them back like they were water.

“I was thinkin’ we could go to Dazzle after this,” Arita said, having not left Daigo’s side. He always babbled and talked too much, like he felt he had to fill every silence with his own voice save people be left alone with their own thoughts.

“Why there?” Daigo asked, thinking of all the things he’d rather do more than go to a hostess club, including and not limited to slamming his face into a lit stovetop and drowning in a hot tub.

“I just think the girls there are really underrated, y’know? I like that they have some slightly older gals, I love a mature lady. How about you?”

Daigo shoved a shard of ice from his glass into his mouth and let it melt on his tongue. “Come on then.”

He was paying for two hours and that was that. At least he could get a bottle for himself and work through that, sitting at the edge whilst the others enjoyed the girls’ company.

Dazzle might have specialised in more mature women, but the decor was a nightmare like every other hostess club. Why’d they always insist on so many sparkles, it gave him a headache.

“Um...are you enjoying yourself?”

Daigo lowered his gaze to look at the girl. ‘Mature’ really meant ‘late twenties’, and she was running on the younger side of that.

“What do you think?” he said coldly, swirling his drink in its glass.

She seemed a little dazed at this, glancing back at her fellow hostesses, but kept going.

“M-my name is Nashi. Yours?”

“Daigo Dojima.”

He clicked his tongue, emptied his glass and went to refill it, his shoulders slouching slightly. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be so short, you’re only doing your job.”

“Oh, it’s fine, I’ve had far worse responses.”

Daigo just gritted his teeth. Another reason he hated hostess clubs was he knew how other men treated these girls, saw it himself the times his father brought him along as a teen.

The least he could do was give this lady a nice conversation.

“Well, I’ll try to be a bit better than them,” he said, gesturing with his head towards the others, so loud and obnoxious.

Nashi smiled a little. “They’re not so bad. Your friends are just a bit...out there.”

He scoffed. “They’re not my friends. I don’t really...do friendship anymore.”

“Oh? How come?”

Shit. Of course, when you say something like that, people have questions. Daigo licked his lips in thought, considering how he should phrase this.

“You...don’t recognise my name, do you?”

Nashi blushed a little, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Um, well, you do have a bit of notoriety around town, Dojima-san. I know girls in other clubs, and they always talk about you.”

Daigo did a slight double take at this. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah. You’re a rather…” She gestured at his coat and skinny jeans. “A striking figure, you know. A lot of girls like the edgy emo bad boy look. It’s popular right now.”

“Hm, figures.” A lot of men are also fans…

Daigo sat up a little straighter, gazing Nashi down. “Do you?”

“H-huh?”

“Find me attractive?”

It was a joke, said with a dry smirk, but she flustered, clearly uneasy. Daigo grimaced, sliding up a little closer and putting a hand to her knee.

“Hey, hey. I’m kidding.” He made his smirk a soft smile, broke down the facade for just a moment to put her at ease. “Don’t worry about it.”

Nashi’s eyes went wide, but nodded, brushing down the edges of her dress.

“A-anyway, I...I’ve heard you...were involved with the Tojo Clan. Is that why you don’t ‘do’ friends?”

“Mm. Essentially.”

Daigo gave up on the glass, swigging back from the bottle which got him a funny look from one of the other patrons across the way.

“My only friend murdered my father,” he said, so matter of fact. He hesitated a moment, letting out a short huff. “Well. He went to jail for the crime, at least. He was actually covering for someone else. Either way, I was left without his guidance for ten years, thinking he had betrayed me like that.”

He paused a second, swilling whiskey around his mouth, before continuing.

“I came back to town a few months ago and...he hasn’t bothered trying to find me. Which shows how little he cares.”

“Oh. That sounds...awful, Dojima-san.”

“It sure does, doesn’t it?”

Daigo shrugged, tilting the empty bottle back so he could savour just a few more drops as best he could. “That’s just how my life is now.”

He grumbled a little as he set the bottle down, belching into his cupped hand before draping himself back against the seat.

“Sometimes you gotta deal with the hand you're given,” he added, scratching lazily at his middle, “And unfortunately, I’ve had a poor deck from the start.”

He shut his eyes before letting out a laugh, forced and hollow. “Sorry. I’m not the best at keeping things light.”

How many hostesses had he paid to listen to him whine? Then he thought how they were probably all used to it, which made it even worse.

“Well, given your circumstances…”

Nashi glanced back at her co-workers, the barely hidden looks of disdain towards the rest of the crew and their boorish behaviour.

“I’d much rather talk to you though,” she said, reaching over to grab another one of the bottles along the table, gesturing toward his glass, “You’re nice.”

Daigo swallowed, nodding in approval as she filled it to the brim. His head pounded, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the music or the cravings.

“If you say so.”

The glass was empty in a flash, and filled just as quick.

“You’re good at this,” he purred.

The bottle was empty by the time the waiter came by. Daigo had just enough mental capacity to dig through his pockets and pay, giving Nashi a shaky smile and a pat on the knee.

“Thank you for tonight. You’re great.”

His friends, on the other hand, all started to whine as the waiter began to urge them into finishing their drinks.

“Aw, c’mon aniki, let’s hang around a bit longer!”

“If you want that, pay yourself, ya cheap fucks.”

Daigo stood up, a bit too quickly as he felt the room spin. He stumbled to the side slightly, wincing as he contained a belch that very much tasted of vomit. Nope! No puking tonight. Keep it all inside.

“I’m outta here,” he mumbled, resting a hand on any available solid surface to keep himself steady as he left.

He blanked out the cries of the others as he did. He’d wasted enough time with them tonight, and he was craving something else.

“Burger,” he mumbled, squinting as he glanced up and down the street, “Pffft...that way.”

This was always the worst part of the night. Trying to sober up enough so he could keep going, or at the very least get home in one piece. Stumbling through the streets and trying not to crack his skull open.

It wasn’t just food he craved though. He felt...itchy. That was the only way to really explain it. The desire to go wild, start a scuffle. Really earn that reputation he supposedly had.

To hell with staying in one piece.

But first, Smile Burger.

The fact that the poor worker even understood what he said through his slurred words was impressive and soon he was curled up against the window, feet pulled up on the chair beside him as he made his way through a burger that tasted like the finest wagyu steak right now.

All the while, he kept his eye out.

Yeah, it felt shitty to target people for a fight like this, but he made sure it was a fair fight. Usually a few guys, who looked like they could take a hit as well as throw one, maybe even have a chance if they weren’t facing someone running on adrenaline and too much booze.

He cocked his head as he focused on a table nearby. Four men, mid-twenties, definitely young yakuza from some family. He couldn’t see any lapel pin from where he was sat, but they were perfect.

Childishly, he picked up one of his fries and threw it in their direction. It hit the back of one guy’s head, and he looked around puzzled. Daigo just threw another, chuckling as it hit him again. A bit too obvious, as he was spotted this time.

“What the hell’s wrong with you dude?” one of the four cried.

“I dunno,” Daigo said, stuffing a bunch of fries in his mouth before flinging another their way, “Target practise.”

This one hit a guy in a striking red sports jacket right between the eyes, and Daigo could barely contain the full-on cackle he let out at the expression he pulled. It was almost too easy.

He grinned when one came over and jabbed him in the chest.

“Outside. Now.”

“My pleasure.”

He followed them into a nearby side street, hands in his pockets and head held high. He liked an audience sometimes, but a private fight was fine enough.

The biggest one of them threw the first punch. He was expecting it, crossing his arms over in front of his face to block it, before kicking out at the guy’s ankles.

The whole fight was messy. The little gang clearly had never been in a proper fight, had no form. They kept punching poorly, wincing with any that managed to hit as they stung their knuckles.

Not that Daigo was any better. He was still far too drunk, but that was half the fun. Stumbling about and getting in a rough hit that frightened these kids who’d never experienced this before. He just wanted the thrill, the rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins. Anything to feel something.

Daigo landed a punch on that guy in the sports jacket, right in the middle of his face. It sent him flat on his ass, skidding down the street slightly.

“Come on!” he groaned, “Grab him, idiots! We outnumber him!”

A moment of pause. Daigo tried to catch his breath, but ol’ sports jacket was right. He was outnumbered.

Two of them grabbed his coat and pushed him back against the wall, holding him there. The third punched at his gut, over and over. Daigo gritted his teeth, tensed his stomach for every punch.

He knew he could get out of this, easily. The guys holding him were hardly doing much, weren’t even gripping his actual arms, just the sleeves of his jacket. It wouldn’t take much to duck and slip down, then send them crying home to their mommies.

“Come on!” he hissed, baring his teeth.

But he wanted them to hit him.

“That all you got?”

He wanted them to hurt him.

Sports jacket guy had gotten back on his feet now, face already starting to bruise. His fist met the middle of Daigo’s face hard, harder than they’d been hitting before. It stung, a lot, which is exactly what he wanted.

Not that it solved anything.

It never did.

“Oi!” They all froze, turning toward the entrance of the street. Daigo, semi-dazed, managed to look too, and felt his stomach drop.

Kashiwagi's expression, initially a scowl, changed the moment he saw him, shaking his head and blinking a little. “Daigo?”

He sighed heavily, storming over and waving his hand at the little gang. “Shoo. Don’t let me catch you boys doing shit like this again, you hear?” “Y-yes Patriarch Kashiwagi.”

They scurried off further down the street, leaving Daigo to stand up straighter, rubbing his nose. He groaned a little as he saw the streaks of rusty red on the back of his hand, sniffling heavily. “Great.”

“Daigo…”

Kashiwagi sighed again, rubbing at his temple. “What are you doing?” “I’m just...I’m just out.” Daigo sniffed again, scrunching his nose. “Just finished dinner.”

“You know what I mean…”

Kashiwagi looked around, then grabbed Daigo by the shoulder. “C’mon. Let’s talk in the office.”

Daigo went to argue, but it only took one stern glare, the kind the older man had given him his whole life, for him to clench his jaw and follow.

Kashiwagi led the way toward the Millennium Tower, hand on Daigo’s shoulder the whole way. It felt so patronising, like that time he accidentally broke a window at the Dojima Family offices when he was ten, and Kashiwagi had done the exact same gesture, marching him to his mother.

“Nice upgrade,” he still said, gazing out the wide window of Kashiwagi’s office once they arrived, “From that little place on Tenkaichi.”

“Well, we make do. I’m second in command now.” Kashiwagi set down the plastic convenience store bag he’d been carrying on his desk, letting out a small, bemused exhale of air. “It’s not all bad. Now come on. Why were you fighting?”

Daigo clicked his tongue and shrugged, staring at the blinking lights below them.

“Daigo…” “I just was, okay?”

He gave a dismissive shrug, walking across the floor toward a cabinet, throwing the doors open. Kashiwagi watched him with tired eyes, slumping down in his chair. “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight.”

“How did you know that’s what I was looking for?”

“Your breath reeks of it, kid. Your whole body does.” He took out a bento and can of coffee from the plastic bag, raising a brow. “And I know what you’re like, especially lately. How’s being a free man by the way? Haven’t seen you since you were released.”

“It sucks ass.”

Daigo slammed the cabinet door shut, opening another and grinning as he saw half a bottle of whiskey there, as well as some crystal glasses. He heard Kashiwagi tut loudly as he slammed both down on top of the cabinet.

“What did you expect?” he scoffed, pouring a very large measure, “Mom told me the news the moment I got out. What Nishikiyama did. That it wasn’t Kiryu. He hasn’t even come to see me, to apologise for it.”

He knocked the glass back, the sensation warm and familiar down his throat. “Hardly feel free. Just not in jail anymore.”

“What happened to the boy I knew?” Kashiwagi asked, walking over and placing a hand on Daigo’s shoulder once more. This time it was gentle, kind, attempting to be comforting. Not Kashiwagi-san, one of his father’s men, but Uncle Osamu, his mother’s best friend.

Daigo scrunched his nose up, taking another slug of whiskey. “You say that like I’ve ever been cheery.”

“Well, okay, you’ve always been a serious young man, but…”

He just shook his head, moving his hand away. He grabbed the whiskey bottle in the process, making Daigo let out a pathetic little whine.

“I’m not going to enable you any more than I have,” he said firmly, before adding, “I mean it though. You don’t need to throw your life away like this.”

Daigo didn’t reply, because he didn’t like the real answer. There wasn’t much of a life to throw away. He was doing everyone a favour with this.

“You bring me up here just to lecture me old man?” he growled, narrowing his eyes.

Still looking for someone to fight. Kashiwagi would wipe the floor with him, he knew that, but he didn’t care. He also knew he wouldn’t get that kind of satisfaction.

Didn’t mean Kashiwagi wasn’t frustrated with his attitude. He closed his eyes, clenching his fists and let out a deep exhale from his nose. “I saw your mother today. She’s been trying to call you all morning.”

“I know.” The empty glass was set down heavily, with a grunt. Daigo dug around for his phone, holding it out so Kashiwagi could see the countless missed calls and texts from her on the home screen. “I know what today is.”

“...and is that why you’re-”

“You know I’m like this anyway.” He stared at the texts, all similar in tone - Daigo, please call me. Daigo, it’s important. Are you okay? He got them most days from his mother. She was trying so hard. He didn’t want her to. He would rather she forget about him. She deserved that much.

Kashiwagi wasn’t looking at him, staring up at the ceiling as he thought of what to say next.

“I understand that...none of us could have predicted the extent of what your father was like.”

Daigo did a double take, noticing Kashiwagi immediately cringe. At least he knew what he said was stupid.

“Sorry, that was-”

“Yeah. It was.” Daigo looked up, head cocked to his shoulder. “Anyone could have guessed, really. We just pretended otherwise, because somehow he seemed to be the only thing keeping the Tojo Clan from completely falling apart.”

He was up in Kashiwagi’s face now, feeling his chest clench tight. He was working himself up over nothing, over that bastard. He hated it, but thinking of what his father did to get himself killed, the kind of man he was, it made his skin crawl.

“He deserves to spend every birthday after what he did having the most miserable time in hell,” he said with a hiss, noticing his voice wobbling, “I know it. You know it. But Mom refuses to let go-”

The slap felt cathartic, for both of them. Daigo shut his eyes and nodded as his cheek stung. He deserved that. He was trying to provoke that kind of reaction and got exactly that.

“I take back what I said. That boy you were is still there. An insolent brat,” Kashiwagi said, walking back to his desk, “Daigo, one day, you’re going to have to grow up. You can’t keep doing this until you die.”

He threw a semi-sympathetic look over his shoulder, but Daigo mostly felt it was piteous. That’s what he was. A pitiful, useless mess.

“Go home, Daigo. Call your mother. And for everyone’s sake, don’t have anything else to drink tonight.”

Daigo sucked in through his teeth and nodded again as he walked toward the door.

“...good night, Kashiwagi-san.”

No response. Yup. I deserve this.

He made his way home in a daze, everything working in automatic. Kashiwagi’s words kept echoing in his head, over and over.

You can’t keep doing this until you die.

Because that’s what he was trying to do, wasn’t it? Die. Suicide by hedonism. He was born already holding the worst hand life could deal, and he was never going to get anything better. After his father was killed, the one tiny scrap of potential good he could have in his life was gone, even if that prospect was a life of crime.

So why not? Why should he grow up when there was nothing to grow up for?

The moment he was inside his apartment, he slid down the door, staring blankly ahead. He’d needed that talking to, he needed a few really, from people who were currently pretending like he didn’t exist. That’s what he really needed. For Kiryu to talk to him, apologise for ruining his life, try and talk some sense into him. He always knew what to do.

But it was like he didn’t exist. Kiryu didn’t care. Kashiwagi tried to care, but knew he was a lost cause. Who did care?

Daigo opened up his phone again, staring at the missed calls and sighed. That’s who cared. Mom.

He should talk to her. He knew he should. He was an awful son who loved his mother very much, which is why he knew she deserved better. She was trying despite knowing she’d made mistakes, but he just couldn’t let that go.

He hovered on her number, ready to press the button to call...but instead he tossed his phone to land on the couch, walked to the kitchen and wrapped his fingers around the neck of the vodka bottle still on the counter.

He licked his lips, swallowed heavily...but let go, pushing it away.

“You win this time old man,” he grumbled, picking up an energy drink and the donuts he’d bought earlier in the day instead. Kashiwagi could never be allowed to know that though.

He knew this self-control wouldn’t last long. Come morning, he’d be shaking again, a hangover banging in his skull, and he’d be dragging himself towards that bottle like it was the source of life.

The same thing every day.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

He couldn’t have it any other way.

#dojima daigo #ryu ga gotoku #trope: crutches #badthingshappenbingo #undeadbthb #highly recommend reading the end notes on ao3 for the buckwild place the inspiration for this came from

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cloudsrust · 4 years

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*Breathes in* random and partly OOC headcanons time? Yes- This time about in which districts and with who Rin and Purl-hew (only these two for now since it’s already long,,) could pass their free time and how they started to hang out ‘cause why not!

-Obviously spoiler warning-

Rin: Fave district: Cast Tech and Metro Division. Due to his interest in mechanics and technology he likes to stroll around and admire both the newest and oldest machines and such- studying them thanks to a built in scan (a gift from Neon after he found out about his interest) that let’s him see their various components and function.

Faves to hang around: Tatiana and B2J. -He started spending time with Tatiana due to Neon insisting for him to tag along during NSR meetings and discussions (to prepare him to take his place once the time would come). At first they would simply talk about energy quotas and business but once those topics were taken care off both Neon and Tatiana would start letting loose and recall the old times or just interesting stories. Because of that Rin came to know of Tati’s past as Kul Fyra. From that point on- when left to go alone- the white android would ask Quartz about those experiences, curious and fascinated by the idea of her more rebellious and chaotic times. After knowing him enough and seeing such a light in his eyes (surprising for an android- especially Rin out of all), Tatiana let him see and even try some of her oldest performance outfits- well the one that didn’t go in flames that is (not that she was gonna wear those again anytime soon anyway). This rock fascination is kept a secret between the two from Neon- Rin is worried about what his captain reaction would be and has no intention to find out. Tatiana understands, so her lips are sealed.

-With B2J it started in quite the messy way- one day a group of rabid fans managed to recognise him and to escape them he had to resort to jumping into a manhole and wait in the sewer for the situation to descalate. It must have been quite close to B2J hideout since he was found by Zuke, out for Ellie’s night sewer-walk. Even if feeling iffy about welcoming the android in their home- he still invited him to stay and hide for the night, as long as no flirting towards May would take place (Rin ended up flirting with him instead- perhaps out of spite-?). This one time rescue turned into Rin coming down to hangout, relax and simply be himself without worry- both May and especially Zuke growing fond of his presence after he started dropping his idol act and opening up to them about the stress of his position. He is welcome in anytime he needs- even by Ellie, who doesn’t mind the new extra pets.

Purl-hew: Fave district: Natura and Metro Division. -They love how calm and serene the place feels, the bright yet warmer lights soothing their sensible eyes- letting them wear normal- more delicate looking- glasses instead of sunglasses. The botanical gardens are their favorite spot of all to admire- and also where they asks the most questions about gardening for their own greenhouse. Sitting down at one of the cafes while enjoying the herbs tea fragrance in the air as the wind sings among the trees’ fronds is the best part of his free time. -They like to just sit down at the edges of the city and look over the boats floating on and about. The sky is also quite beautiful at night- a nice distraction from the bright lights of the rest of the district.

Faves to hang around: Yinu and Mama (Amaranth) It started with Amaranth urgently needing someone to watch over Yinu while she had to be away, unable to bring her daughter along. With Tatiana busy and the other not being her top choices- the one remaining was Neon J. She trusted the captain to be responsible and attentive enough to take care of Yinu for the day- and so the cyborg thought too! Hell he could (almost) keep under control 5 androids at once- how hard could a lil’ child be? Answer- very. After many failed attempts at entertaining Yinu- both from Neon and 1010- Purl-hew took the matter in their own hands, to the relief of the rest of the group. They led the child prodigy to the part of the mansion that would feel more like her home district: the greenhouse, First an experiment to make fully plants powered androids, now- just a greenhouse that Purl takes care of. The idea worked- the familiar flowery scent contrasting with the cold and greasy metallic one of the rest of the place- calming her down. The others either completely bailed the situation (Zimelu and Haym) or just came in just to check on them and/or bringing in things that could help out. When Mama came back for Yinu she found the latter and Purl making flower crowns together (using the ones from 1010 gift bouquets) so they could match. The greenhouse now seemingly having a play spot right in the middle of it, drawings with pencils and highlighters (Eloni’s attempt) scattered on the rug they were on, on the side a whole real tea set (Neon’s attempt) to play pretend with- both quickly abandoned in favor of the flowers. Amaranth had never seen her daughter go along so well with anyone that wasn’t family and after hearing from Yinu that “the tall blue robot” was interested in gardening she was delighted. Before going she made sure to mention that Neon was welcome to bring Purl-hew along next time he came over to Natura. Even though they mostly talked about plants whenever they visited, the topic of music soon came up- leading to Yinu not only showing them how to properly garden but also guiding them on how to play the piano. When he first heard of it, Neon suggested that he could upgrade Purl with such knowledge in no time if they really wanted- the android refused: “It would be a mean move- and also quite boring”. They’re a slow learner but neither them or Yinu mind it one bit.

I might write about the remaining three too- just thought this was already a lot as it was with only two;; I cannot summarize for the life of me lmao.

#no straight roads #headcanon #1010 rin #1010 purl-hew #1010 nsr #Guess OOC headcanons are my lifeblood now

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ruzek-halstead · 4 years

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pretty

part two

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

the whole one chicago gang is at molly's having a great time until will halstead corners jay about his relationship with hailey and advises him to quite literally take his girl home. (un)fortunately, hailey isn't interested in going back to her home.

“alright, so answer me this. hypothetically, if hailey was to go home with, oh, i don’t know, severide or something, would you be completely okay with that?”

part one || masterlist

warnings: swearing, fluffery

the following morning, hailey awakes to a thundering pain in her skull.

it’s unfamiliar to her, considering she can count the number of hangovers she’s ever gotten on one hand, but she recognizes it clearly. she groans and digs her face deeper into the pillow. her mouth is dry, and she can hardly hear her own thoughts through the pounding happening in her head.

and to top it all off, she knows she has to work this morning.

her arm reaches out to her right side, blindly searching for her phone. instead, her fist comes in contact with something solid and she freezes.

hailey always sleeps on the left side of her bed. she always leaves her phone charging on the right side of her bed; the closer it is to her, the better she’ll hear it when it goes off in the middle of the night. her phone isn’t there, but apparently something else is.

she hears a low moan after she freezes and her head pops up off the pillow quickly to see jay, his eyes closed in pain (and exhaustion). he's lying on his side, shirtless and the bed covers are riding extremely low. hailey can feel herself paling (as if she wasn’t already before because she’s definitely hungover as hell). her wide eyes dart around the room to notice she isn’t in her bedroom at all and one quick look downwards, she realizes she isn’t wearing any of her clothes… or pants.

“oh my god,” she mumbles and watches as jay’s eyes fly open.

to her horror, a slow grin spreads across his facial features. “oh, you’re awake,” he says nonchalantly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “how are you feeling?”

hailey is still unable to speak; she continues to stare at him.

jay furrows his eyebrows. “we had a pretty crazy night. can you remember anything?”

of course, she couldn’t. and just trying to remember makes her head feel like it’s going to pop right off.

“jay, what the hell happened last night?”

her voice surprises her; it’s hoarse and groggy and her throat feels like she smoked a dozen cigarettes last night.

the sun outside shifts and the rays blind her through his window; she hastily tries to cover her eyes, but the exertion is literal pain.

“you don’t remember anything?” she takes a peek at his expression after hearing the humour in his voice. jay is smirking and she wants to strangle him.

“no, jay, i can’t remember anything,” she snaps. “i feel like i consumed all of molly’s liquor last night and i think i'm dying because everything hurts. and now i’m waking up in your bed with no pants on, so tell me, what the hell happened?”

jay has the audacity to start laughing.

“i don’t know if i should say anything. watching you panic is pretty cute,” he replies, lifting himself off of the bed. hailey is slightly relieved to see that he is wearing pants, but that does little to ease her nerves. but then she gets distracted looking at his sculpted chest and abdominal muscles and that only fuels his amusement further. he’s smirking because he’s remembering her comments about his muscular body the night before.

hailey shoots him a venomous glare and whips back the covers, praising the gods that the shirt she’s wearing is long enough to keep her decency intact. “i'll show you cute when i kick your damn ass, jay halstead,” she sasses as she also gets out of bed.

she's hit with an instant wave of nausea and she knows its game over.

she doesn’t get a chance to listen to his smartass comments or give another one of her own before she’s storming past him and into his bathroom. she kicks the door shut behind her but doesn’t get the opportunity to lock it. god knows he’s seen her in worse conditions, but this felt much too personal. as she’s busy spilling her stomach contents, she feels him come up behind her and gather her messy blonde locks behind her and out of her face. she can feel him rubbing her back gently and she’s so angry that he let her drink as much as she did.

her sickness finally ends, and she slumps against the cool tile floor.

“you were saying?” jay quips and she doesn’t have the energy to punch him in the face. “something about kicking my ass?”

she hears him snicker and leave the room, but she can’t find it in herself to move. a minute later, jay crouches down in her line of vision with a cold glass of water and two advil tablets. he raises an eyebrow when she doesn’t move and so she eventually sits back up to take the medication and hydrate.

“how in the world did i drink that much?” she asks desperately, grabbing onto his bicep to help her up. “and why the hell do you look so good?”

jay reaches under the sink cabinet and pulls out a toothbrush still in its package. “well, you and severide were hitting it pretty hard.”

hailey groans, “severide,” she moans.

“you guys were pretty cozy too,” he adds offhandedly. he tries to look nonchalant, but hailey can see right through him.

she raises an eyebrow. “not sure what your tone is implying jay, but severide is taken.”

jay rolls his eyes. “yeah, i know that,” he replies softly. he hands her the toothbrush and makes his way back into his bedroom.

hailey quickly rips open the package and brushes her teeth; she’s definitely going to need some more information on what just happened. when she makes her way back into jay's room, he’s rummaging through his drawers for a clean shirt, already dressed in his jeans. she sits on his bed and stares unabashedly.

“what?” he says self-consciously when he turns to face her.

her brain still hurts and she’s starting to think it’s because she’s remembering the night before. “did i call you muscular yesterday?” she asks, cringing.

a smirk appears on jay's face. “why yes, you did. thank you; i appreciated all the compliments from yesterday.”

hailey groans loudly. “what else did i say?”

“you also called me pretty, but i already knew that.”

“you're an ass, jay halstead.”

she silently watches as he puts on a clean shirt.

“i told you you’re pretty too,” he says, suddenly flustered.

she finds his nervousness adorable. “well, i already knew that.”

he rolls his eyes but there’s still tension in his shoulders. “come on; we can pass your place so you can change.”

hailey nods, even though her limbs are screaming at her to not be moved for the next seventy-two hours. she grabs her jeans from the night before and quickly puts them back on. jay is waiting by the door; phone, wallet and keys in his hands, along with hailey's purse from last night.

she sends him an appreciative look before taking it and making her way outside. their drive is quick and quiet and as Jay drops her off, he promises to be right back and ignores her questioning protests.

hailey takes the quickest ten-minute shower possible and changes into a new pair of black jeans. she's about to change into a new shirt but as she’s looking into her mirror, decides she actually looks really good in jay's shirt. it's long-sleeve and black and she tucks the front into her jeans, rolls up her sleeves and she’s ready for action. she shoves her phone into her back pocket and grabs her olive-green bomber jacket and heads for the door.

true to his word, jay is patiently waiting for her to get ready. as she gets into the passenger seat, she’s delighted to see he’s holding a steaming cup of hot coffee out for her. she smiles and her eyes roll back into her skull because it tastes so good.

hailey casts a look towards jay and catches his smirk. “what’s that look for?” she asks, lightly hitting his shoulder.

“i'm just noticing you didn’t change your shirt,” he replies, but he can’t drop the smirk.

hailey rolls her eyes. “i was lazy and rushing. also, this outfit looks really good,” she defends herself. “and if you’re going to say that this shirt looks better on me, please remember i have a gun and absolutely hate clichés.”

“are you kidding me?” jay raises an eyebrow. “i look way better in that shirt than you do.”

hailey smiles, satisfied with his answer.

as they pull into the district, he pauses before he exits the truck.

“there is one thing i do want to mention,” he says, hesitating slightly. hailey furrows her brows but waits for him silently. “i don’t know if i should be saying anything at all. but will got in my head and now i can’t stop thinking about it,” his hand is running through his hair and she hasn’t seen him this distressed in a long time.

hailey is more confused than ever.

“i was jealous last night,” jay blurts out. he turns to look at her and continues, “i saw you with severide and i never thought anything of it. and then will threw me a hypothetical if you were to go home with him and i kind of lost it.”

it's a lot of information to take in at once.

“will said what?”

jay brushes it off. “anyway, it got me thinking. and then last night—”

“what about last night?” hailey raises a curious eyebrow.

“you said you could see it in the way i looked at you,” he replies softly. they're still in his truck and he’s avoiding meeting her eyes, but hailey is turned in his direction, fully invested in his words. “it got me thinking. maybe i…”

hailey has literally never heard him express his feelings like this before. especially about her.

“maybe you what?” she urges, eyes wide.

he finally glances at her and breaks into a nervous chuckle. “maybe there’s something here that i'm overlooking?”

“between us?” hailey questions innocently.

god she’s so hungover.

“i'm really bad at this,” he groans, turning away again.

“no, jay,” hailey protests, grabbing onto an arm to pull him back towards her. “please, finish.”

he focuses his green eyes on his grinning partner. “i was jealous, and i honestly have no reason to be.”

“jay,” she laughs. “what are you trying to say?”

jay groans because he seriously sucks at this. “i like you, okay? and i don’t know exactly what that means, but i know i don’t ever want to see you with some other guy and have to wonder if you’ll be leaving with him.”

hailey sends him a small smile. “you don’t have to worry about that,” at jay's questioning look, she continues, “the only person i want to go home with is you, jay,”

jay looks at her with so much adoration in his eyes, she’s momentarily overwhelmed.

“wow,” she adds, “this horrid hangover is turning out so much better than i was expecting.”

all she receives is a wink from jay but it’s enough to keep her satisfied until they hit molly’s at the end of shift.

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musubiki · 4 years

Note

I read your tags on that one ask and can I just.... could you please tell us more about the fantasy arranged marriage AU...? 🥺💖

AA YEAH IM GONNA TALK ABT IT A LIL CUZ I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT FOR THE SOFT DOMESTIC CONTENT 🥺💗

- its set in the inuyasha/princess mononoke type of world where supernatural/monsters are just normal and society has different infrastructure to deal with it

- mochi (because shes a magical girl in almost every au she cannot change this) is like the healer/magic lady/potion maker for their small-medium sized village in the middle of the mountains. her family is known for their potent magic abilities

- lime is part of a prestigious family his grandfather was someone great, like a military general or something, high honor. he works for the monster control/missionary guild centered in the town. theyre fairly to very famous and are very efficient.

- they were friends as lil kids. just used to run around the village and play with sticks and shit. lime left the village around age 8 to go train for the guild somewhere far off. he worked for a few different guilds but didnt come back to work for the one in the village until he was 18-19

- also i was too lazy to designs outfits and shit but i always see limes guild uniform as like the dread fighter from fire emblem awakening and mochi as the shrine maiden from fates

- as soon as he came back, his family is like “oh good!! we arranged you a marriage to carry on the family name!!! we need a heir!!” and hes like “WHAT?!”

- he was super pissed. because its been like 2 days since hes been back and his family is already throwing this on him, and he has little power to fight them on it.

- hes just sitting outside on the porch watching the rain all mad and depressed cuz 1) hes not ready to get married, and 2) he wouldve wanted to marry someone he loved but hey, cant do anything about it now. the ceremony is like, tomorrow.

- anyway hes waiting at the ceremony the next day, still mad, nervous, just hoping they picked him someone whose at least cute or something and not some old lady

- its mochi. all dressed in the ceremony dress + makeup. and it takes his mind a moment to register that its her. he recognizes her, but he almost cant believe its ACTUALLY her because she. looks so beautiful. and grown up.

- and the minute she sees HIM shes in shock because she didnt even know he was back. and they cant speak to (and can barely look at) each other because of the ceremony ritual hoo ha

- #nervous

- next thing they know their families are shoving them into their new house thats all set up for them, complete with only one bed, with a “Go make us some heirs!” or sometHING LIKE THAT AND THEYRE BOTH SHAKEN LIKE PLS STOP

- its so awkward. they touch accidentally and jump to opposite sides of the room. theyre able to talk a little small talk but it wont hold up. mochi says something like “I didnt know you were back-” and lime, an awkward, just says “yeah i am” “i know”

- lime is nice about the whole marriage thing though. he was mad at first but now that his wife is someone he (kinda) knows and shes actually really sweet and pretty hes like ok i can handle this i think

- i think i talked about it in that old post but mochi is 10000% not ready to have sex with him yet. shes so shaky and nervous about it, but she wants to be a good wife and not disappoint him so she tries to force herself to be okay with it

- but he can kinda tell she doesnt want to. hes nice about it. he just tells her they dont have to do that now, it can wait, lets just take it slow for now and lie to our families about it. (and that was the first instance of her starting to fall for him right off the bat)

- ANYWAY THE AU IS JUST THEM BEING AWKWARD AND CUTE AND DOMESTIC!!!!! theyre forced intimate relationship at first turns more into friendship of camaraderie of “our families just forced us into this but neither of us are ready or willing to do this yet so lets just be roomates and operate like that”

- so they do!!! lime buys another bed so they dont have to share one. he cant cook so half the nights mochi cooks and the other half they eat out. they split the house chores and just come home and gossip about their days pretty much and slowly become more comfortable with each other.

- and then they actually start falling in love with each other. little things like lime grabbing high stuff off shelves for her when they clean the house, or when lime comes home all busted up from work and mochi takes some time to wrap his injuries, falling asleep together outside watching the fireflies in the summer, laughing over dumb shit over dinner

- lime has to leave super early at like 6am sometimes. he always goes to mochi while shes sleeping, softly nudges her a little bit to let her know hes leaving and she gives him a cute smile and a sleepy “have a good day!”

- soft nudges turn into soft forehead kisses and petting of hair locks. she starts falling asleep in his bed and he sleeps 10000x better with her in his arms.

-(anyway its just 90% lots of cute domestic shit. maybe some drama of regional district lord sulluvan trying to steal her for her magic abilities. stupid domestic adventures)

#arranged marriage au #text #the misc adventures of mochi and lime #tcwg #bpp #bullet point post #ill add more later but i gtg to bed now #i think abt this a lot #the softness...#let them cuddle

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euphorianyx · 4 years

Text

DADDY ISSUES [Dawn] -2-

Pairing: JungKook & Reader Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst Summary: You believe you know someone you live together but that only counts if they are true to themselves. Can love really change someone or do they just hold back? What if you are yet to meet the dark side? Will you stay to handle all that or will you walk away? When there is something you have to protect, the choice is not really yours so you just do what you think is the best.

AN: If you just found this story you can read the prequel here.

Other Chapters

The way to your own home has never been this dull and empty. You felt like screaming but you could not. You closed your eyes to fight the tears that were streaming down on your cheeks but failed miserably. JungKook’s eyes while killing Jimin just hunted you again.

You wished you would never see what happened but regret took over. Even if you did not see it would still be the truth. Jimin’s last words echoed in your head again.

“She saw the monster you are...”

You would never call JungKook a monster but he was not the good man you tried to make him. Johan’s eyes met yours by the mirror but he did not say anything. You never thought of what you could say to your mom and dad. TaeHyung crossed your mind for a moment. Staying with him would be easier than explaining everything to your family. God knew you were not ready for their questions and trying to calm down your dad.

Then it hit you lost TaeHyung when you married JungKook in front of his eyes. The way he begged you and pain pouring from his deep voice filled your mind for a moment. You had no right to call him and ask for such a thing.

The only option was finding a hotel to stay for a couple of days until you decided what was going to happen. You checked your phone to find a decent one with cheap value. Thank god there was one with two rooms left so you booked the single room right away.

“We are going to the hotel Comfytime...”

You explained but Johan refused right away.

“Mrs... I was told to bring you home.”

Caressing your forehead after a sigh followed.

“I can’t go home right now. You can explain and tell him where I will stay.”

Johan hesitated for a moment but accepted with a simple nod. The rest of your journey was silent. Then the car pulled up by the car park. After a deep breath, you indicated you were ready to go. Johan respectfully opened the door for you. Taking a look around you wiped your tears and let the fresh air in your lungs. You thanked Johan not knowing what else to say.

“I will bring your belongings tomorrow, Mrs...”

You stopped him before he could finish his sentence.

“Call me Y/N and please contact me before you bring them. I may need to make some arrangements.”

When you turned around Johan’s gentle cough stopped you.

“I will call you that way because he really loves you, Mrs. Jeon. I just wanted you to know that.”

The way he called you by his surname said he loved you caused an ache in your heart. Walking towards the tall receptionist in red uniform you explained the reservation you just made. He happily took the payment and handed you the card for the room and another slim woman in the same red uniform lead the way for you.

The single bed with white sheets, the single chandelier by the ceiling felt lonely just like you. Leaving your phone on the bed you stood by the window. Thoughts passed by your head after another. Memories of JungKook and you together were hunting you. Feeling worn out you finally made your way to the bed. You felt a drop fell from your eyes before you finally fall asleep.

After one or two hours you woke up with JungKook’s last stare before your eyes. Realized you were hardly breathing you tried to calm down. Grabbing your phone to check you saw there was nothing. The thoughts that suffocated you came back again. Skipping breakfast you took a small walk around the garden of Comfytime. Sunshine and chill weather felt nice against your skin.

You knew you have to explain everything to your family but you could not tell them about what JungKook did. If you ever told them he got you upset, your dad was going to question your decision to marry him. You needed another reason that made sense. It was better if you faced them after putting things in their place.

You also had to find a company to work until you graduated from school. If it were a law company it would help your resume in the future. You sighed and how much JungKook was doing for you hit once again. Your phone buzzed in your hand made you flinch. When you saw it was Johan you answered right away.

“Mrs. Jeon... I have got all your belongings. Where would you like me to deliver them?”

You sighed.

“I am still at the hotel. You can bring them here.”

You simply said. Johan did not stay much after dropping them and greeted you respectfully before he left. You went through them and brought a few pieces of clothing out for use. You kept the rest in your suitcase. Then you realized the things you wore when you met JungKook were not here. None of it. Shirt, skirt, even your buckle. Wondering if JungKook kept them on purpose you sighed. You were missing him like crazy. Spending some time lost in thoughts you zipped your suitcase. Life had no time for your weaknesses.

You contacted the university to see if you could apply to stay in the dormitory but there was no space. You looked through rooms for rent and tried a few small law companies.

You found a decent room a single mom rented for his son’s education expenses. He was a sweet guy who just started high school. They both were kind to you and the house was clean so you decided to stay there for a while.

Almost two weeks passed by and you were nearly out of the money you had on your own account. On a cloudy afternoon, you received a call from one of the companies you applied to. In fact, it was the best one and you thought you had no chance at all.

You paid utmost care to your outfit and hair. You chose to keep your make up simple and natural. With your heels, you finally were ready for the employment interview. The wait was more stressful then you thought it would be.

When your name was called you took a deep breath and walked in with small but firm steps. There were three men and two women behind a glass table. You sat down on the chair that was placed in the middle and briefly greeted them.

The interview started with simple questions on your vision of life and law. The man sitting in the middle grabbed a pair of paper before he directed his gaze at you again.

“When Kim NamJoon mentioned your name we took a look at your transcript. You seem to have a bright future Y/N.”

You were confused. How did NamJoon get involved in this and why did they never mention your surname? You were sure they have seen your face on news or magazines. You had a lot of questions but digging these down may lose the only opportunity you got so you simply thanked him.

In his dark grey Armani vest and white shirt, JungKook reached for the astray on the mahogany desk as NamJoon sat across him. The rich smell of his Cuban cigar filled the air. NamJoon asked after fixing his glasses.

“I was surprised when you agreed with me to mention her name. I don’t know what happened between you two but...”

JungKook’s cold voice and poker face broke for a second before he wore them again.

“I am just trying to give her what she deserves.”

NamJoon would not question any further. He simply agreed but what he heard next shocked him even more.

“Y/N will probably ask for divorce soon. I want you to settle things with her.”

Eyes wide NamJoon froze for a good moment.

“Tell her I will accept whatever she wants.”

The cool lawyer seemed lost as he spoke.

“But you were...”

JungKook raised his hand before NamJoon could state the obvious fact that you were in love. The situation was still the same in his part but you. NamJoon lightly shook his head.

“As far as I know Y/N would not accept anything.”

JungKook arched an eyebrow at him.

“It’s your part to convince her.”

Their meeting ended and JungKook rubbed his face since he felt tired after another sleepless night. He pushed back his parted hair before it fell on his eyes and called for Yugyeom. The man fixed his jacked before he knocked on the door. When he walked in JungKook gestured him to sit.

“Did you do the research on the woman?”

YugYeom put the iPad on the desk in front of JungKook.

“Yang Seol In... She is thirty-nine years old, has a son. He is fifteen years old, studying at the high school in their district. She is working for a catering company and probably rented the room for extra income. They seem clean.”

Arched an eyebrow Jungkook asked.

“Her husband?”

Yugyeom switched the page.

“Yang Hae San... They lost him in a car crash last year. And she has not seen anyone since then.”

JungKook let out a small smile.

“Y/N made a good choice it seems.”

Then his smile faded away.

“I still want you to keep an eye on her.”

The only one knowing everything that happened, YugYeom nodded.

“Will you meet the new candidate today?”

A simple nod was followed by JungKook’s deep voice. He walked towards the window.

“Change the place. I will not see her at the café I met Y/N.”

Next Chapter

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albatross-tech · 3 years

Text

So I'm bored. Let's list every Au of my main 5 bois.

This is more for myself then anyone else.

Edwin:

Swap: History and Personality swapped with Nicolas. See previous posts.

Swap2.0: History and Personality flip flopped to a line with Carter. He is a shy artist bean that likes to keep to his small group of friends. Was bullied for his large glasses. Is Raised/Taken in by his gay Uncle Vex and Vex's husband Abaddon.

Eloise: Edwin but girl.

Regal!Edwin: Instead of raised by his adoptive human father, he is raised royal grandparents. He is much more serious, proper and reserved. Speaks in an old English accent.

Human!: Edwin but human and in a human world.

Evil!: Edwin but really Evil. Probably Raised by Loki. Very sadistic and manipulative. Not very caring and gets a kick out of suffering. He works with Reapers and manipulates humans to do his bidding. Gets into a lot of trouble.

Void!: Edwin but lonely and trapped in the void.

Nicolas:

Swap: History and personality swapped with Edwin. See a previous post.

Swap2.0: History and personality swapped with Takashi. His parents are alive but divorced. He was raised by his Mother. Although expected to take on her place in the Outer Library...he loves fashion. He has extensive knowledge on trends and new fashion. He makes his own clothes on the side and probably runs a cute blog and instagram where he poses in adorable pastel outfits he made along with his adoptive sister, Annabell.

Nicole: Nicolas but best girl.

Family!: Nicolas but his family is well and alive. He isn't a hunter but he wants to explore the universe to learn what's out there. Often this universe overlaps with the Regal!Edwin universe. He is a lot more calm and optimistic.

Evil!: Nicolas but he is a raging serial killer.

Human: Human Nicolas. Not a hunter and not a teacher. He is a genius but not that level of Genius.

Outer: Nicolas but raised with by Aunt in the Outer Library. Still doesn't like humans but he doesn't have as much murderous intent. Very adept in magic and is being trained to take his place among the council.

Takashi:

Swap: History and personality swapped with Carter. A burly and calm Oni that likes to draw manga. He has made a couple books. Born in Japan, after an accident His parents were Killed in a Crash. He was taken to be raised with an Aunt and Uncle when he was practically a newborn. During Middle school they went to America where he Met Nicky (Swap!Nicolas) who became his first friend in the new country.

Swap2.0: Personality and History swapped with Nicolas. His family was slaughtered by priests in Japan. Takashi was taken by the schooling system and put into protection in America. He ends up being an assistant Nurse in the school district because of his power. At night he hunts monster hunters. He is very adept in his BioKinesis. Even going as far as Necromancy. He is a very large and foreboding individual. Most fear this oni on sheer sight alone.

Tanbio: Takashi but Girl.

Evil: Takashi but he acts like an actual Oni. Cursing town and setting pestilence on a city for the hell of it. He is very chaotic and does this for entertainment.

Human: Takashi but Human. He is tall and buff. Probably wrestler. He gets along well with girls for his confidence. And isn't afraid to show his more sensitive side.

Foriegn: Takashi but he has never been out of Japan. Put him in any other setting and bumbles around like a doofus. Tripping on words and customs.

Carter:

Swap: History and Personality Swapped with Takashi. He is still a Chonky boy. His family is from Germany. His parents are alive but divorced and on good terms. His mother let him room with Nicky while going to an American academy, for the experience. He keeps in touch with them though along with his Adoptive sister, Suzie. Suzie is always willing to be a model for him when he makes clothing. This Carter is a body positive boi and very up beat. He thinks people can look good no matter what their size is, so he has a blog and Instagram where he shows off his creations for plus sized people.

Swap2.0: History and Personality swapped with Syris because It's a challenge. This Carter is thin and Malnourished. He has Amnesia, He has forgotten how to talk. He was kidnapped and held captive by Hunter due to his family's association with Monsters and demons. They have been trying to get him to talk but this Carter has been hit in the head a couple of times. If saved, he will become clingy to his savior.

Cathy: Carter but Thicc Girl.

Cyborg: In the human verse, Carter gets to be the special one. He is a cyborg among humans. His parents are government scientists. After an accident they worked hard to save their son from death...making him a Cyborg. His hides his Robotic parts with fake skin.

Hunter!: Carter in the Evil!Verse is a Hunter. He isn't friends with the others and could arguably be the only good one in the bunch. Was actually trained by a Reaper, Loki, to help control the evil population of monsters. He isn't overweight in this one but is mostly small but buff as hell. His parents were murdered by monsters. Kinda like a reverse Nicolas.

Monster!Carter: Carter is a monster among the others. Specifically he is a Fallen angel. He and his parents were kicked out of heaven for being a bit rebellious of the Rules. They were told they could come back if they help punish 200 criminals...but they're rebellious so they don't care. This Carter is still big but he had Black wings and a broken Halo on his head. He has some piercings as well. He becomes fast friends with demons because chubby little rebel in him. He is passive aggressive though.

Syris:

Swap2.0: History and Personality swaped with Edwin. This Syris is a lot more Social then Normal Syris. His parents only had him for cult reasons and wasn't treated well and only as a servant for his Eldritch father. Till his mother was chased out of town and the little monster was taken in by a Good!Loki. That Loki simply runs a line of burial services across the country. Caskets, Urns and other things. Anyway, this Syris likes to Wear Cyberpunk/Goth clothing in human form. He has his hair dyed brown with highlights of black. He loves to make techno remixes, music, synthwave and often Djs as Raves in his Teens. His best friend Edwin that he met in Middle school. They work on a lot of projects together. Syris often makes the music behind Edwin's Animations. Syris and Edwin often practiced Korean together in middle school. Nicolas in this universe is their other friend from France. He rooms with Syris in the Country side Villa they have. Syris has taken to helping Nicolas add to his style of clothing.

Sarah: Feminine Syris.

Human: Human Syris. Still a bit clingy by nature...he is in foster care and gets moved from home to home. So when he makes close friends he doesn't like leaving them.

Pure Evil: Syris is a borderline character in terms of Alignment. This one is pure Evil. He is very selfish and self absorbed. He runs a cult...based around himself where he brainwashes humans to worship him. He often has people sacrifice themselves to him...or their family for a favor.

Pure good: This Syris is a bean. He just wants to be loved. He isn't as pushy as normal Syris. He often tries his best to do good for others...even if people are afraid of his appearance. He is very protective of his friends and often goes into 'Papa bear's Mode.

Pet!: A mini version of Syris. He is a small chonky bean that likes being pet and held. He is about the height of a teddy bear. That is all.

Civil!: A civilized version of Syris without the problems that made Syris the way he is. He was raised like a normal kid. This Syris is not clingy. He enjoys attention but isn't going to actively go after someone. He is a gifted student in cosmic magic. He wants to work in NASA when he gets older. He enjoys cooking and writing. He particularly like to write fan fictions and horror novels. He can also be called School!Syris.

That's all for now. I'll probably put down more later. I mean I do have more... Like Animal and Mermaid versions but those are self explanatory.

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honeyhellsbells · 4 years

Text

First love - Jumin Han fluff

This isn’t anything requested, but I liked the Jumin first date headcanons quite a lot and decided to write a little something about it. I hope you guys like it :)

Jumin was head over heels, utterly in love. Admittedly, everything seemed a little rushed but it had not taken much to make him certain when it came to his feelings. He was a serious man that demanded respect whether or not he outright said it, from the way he dressed to his posture, everything screamed dominance. And there she was, his precious little sweetheart, who never hesitated to reprimand him if he was too harsh, guided him when he did not now how to cope with his emotions and also didn't hesitate to jump up on his back when they were in private to be carried around.

If commoner life was confusing to him, she was nothing short of an enigma. How she was so well versed in aspects of his life he never thought about and absolutely couldn't understand aspect that were clearly obvious to him, it never ceased to amaze him. She enjoyed some luxuries he was happy to provide, and some she vehemently rejected, things like jewelry she didn't deem necessary or spontaneous trips to another country which he was rather fond of.

But they always managed to find a compromise, still always trudging around the more expensive side of life. Tonight things were supposed to be different though. With his measurements and credit card in hand she had gone out shopping for the day with the goal to make him blend in with her world. With the colorful and sometimes dirty world that smelled of cotton candy, greasy food, bad movies, spilled drinks and freedom.

Having been contained to his secure, comfortable and suffocating bubble all of his life, he was practically bouncing on his heels, checking his clock minute after minute, counting down the seconds until she would finally return to him. Elizabeth the 3rd twitched awake on her pillow next to him and raised her head towards the noise as the elevator pinged and opened, revealing his beloved partner. She was carrying several bags, most of them plastic unlike the sturdy paper he was used to and beaming from ear to ear.

„I cannot wait to see you in the things I got for you. I'm sure you're gonna love it.“ Knowing her, he would either look incredible by the end of this little fashion show, or would just want to throw himself head first into the fireplace. She revealed clothing item after clothing item, having made sure to give him a variety of things to chose from, most of them in muted and dark colors, some of them outrageously colorful. „You just need to try them on so I can see if I need to take something back. And so I can make sure that we match when we go out tomorrow.“

Her thoughts often mesmerized him for the simplest reasons. Was it common for people to just buy things that might not fit only to bring them back if they don't? Did couples often match their outfits? He was shook out of his train of thought when she just straddled his lap where he was sitting, realizing that he wasn't paying attention to her anymore. His hands instinctively flew to her backside where her skirt had slipped up a dangerous amount to make sure she didn't somehow fall off the sofa again.

He chuckled a little when she began to press kiss after kiss to his face, purposefully missing his lips and asking if he was listening to her between each of them. „You just never cease to amaze me. I'm sure that I will love whatever garment you have chosen for me.“ He doubted that the moment his eyes fell on a borderline neon pink polo shirt but he still trusted her decision. „How about you help me put together some outfits to try on?“

In the end they picked three separate outfits they were both happy with, all three of them with jeans in different shades of blue, one of them even distressed to the point of being ripped, paired with either a shirt and cardigan or a dress shirt. „My my...I might not be able to let you go out like that.“ She was on her tip toes, looking at him from over his shoulder as he observed himself in the mirror. „What do you mean?“ He jumped a little as her hands went straight to his butt, giving him a pat before wrapping her arms around his middle, pressing herself against his back as closely as she could. „The ladies and gentleman out there might just jump your bones if they see you looking like that. You're just too handsome I'm afraid.“ He let out a little chuckle at that before turning in her embrace to hug her against him.

„And yet I would not have anyone by my side except for you.“ They shared a chaste kiss, Jumin was still a little hesitant when it came to showing affection that went beyond hugs and cuddles, but slowly and surely they worked their way forward to get him more comfortable in their relationship. After a relatively simple dinner for Jumins standards and a few glasses of wine, he called his personal chauffeur Driver Kim to escort her home. While he had an interior designer prepare a guest room just for her, most nights she spent over when it had gotten too late, she had ended up in his bed anyway. He never really minded and found himself feeling far more rested than if he slept alone.

This night however they were bound to sleep in their own beds, only to spend the entire next day together. As the CEO in line it wasn't as easy for him to take a day off and if he did, he did intend to enjoy it to it's fullest. And tomorrow that would mean to spend a day as a commoner, roaming the shopping districts, eating cheap food from street vendors and maybe go to some sort of club to end the night, whatever tickled her fancy he would endure.

Jumin woke up feeling giddy like he never had before and when he usually dreaded leaving his bed on his days off, today he couldn't get out and into the shower fast enough. Sure, they had set a specific time at which they would meet, but keeping himself busy made the time fly by much faster. He choked down a small breakfast, texted her about his outfit choice, got some work done and finally he could head to the elevator to where she was already waiting in the lobby.

His heart skipped a beat when he laid eyes on her, dressed in a feminine version of his own outfit, with a skirt instead of pants, the same sweater in another the contrasting color and with the same beanie that was resting on his own head. „You look so cute!“ She gushed when she rushed towards him, taking a quick around his form to look at him from all sides. He grinned as she nearly bounced on her heels in excitement, much like he was feeling and pinched her cheek before taking her hand to lead her outside. „Not as cute as you.“

His excitement soon dampened a little when they approached the subway station. He had heard many things about the subway and none of them were good, causing a slight nervous ache in his stomach to build. Sure he knew that two of his personal bodyguards were not too far away, so perfectly blending into the crowd that not even his girlfriend, who knew the two men personally, had noticed them, but the feeling persisted.

„I take the subway almost every day. You're gonna be fine Jumin.“ She quickly pecked him on the cheek before she turned back to the ticket machine, feeding it a few bills for two small paper rectangles that she pocketed for him. They spent the few minutes of wait time studying the subway map, something he had never really paid attention to.

The actual train ride was almost worse than he had imagined. The smell of too many people in too little space made him wrinkle his nose, he didn't want to know what kind of diseases the pole he was forced to hold onto was carrying and he was quite sure that some of the hands that had pressed against his butt were NOT accidental.

A plus side however was that he had every excuse to hold onto his companion, who had to stand very close because of the limited space and had nothing but him to hold onto. The public cuddle time was new but not unwelcome and yet both of them were more than happy to finally leave the cramped metal contraption.

„Hm, what are we going to do first...“ She clearly wasn't in any hurry, strolling about with his hand back in hers until she had an idea, gently tugging him along. „There's some stalls around the shopping district where I live, I think you might like that!“ He sure did like it, the tiny crowded booths, filled to the brim with odds and ends, cheap jewelry and decorative pieces, to clothing and even food.

They walked up and down the street, looking at the booths with less people and returned to the others on the way back. „What about this one?“ She held a delicate bracelet in her hands, braided strings with beads and tiny bells. They jingled softly as she shook it even a little. „They have different colors so we could both get one!“ He wasn't too sure about wearing a bracelet with bells but decided to humor her and allowed her to purchase two of them.

It was an odd feeling around his wrist but watching her delight as he copied her shaking her wrist to make the bells ring made it worth it. They strolled around for about two more hours before resting a little at a small café for some much needed food and drink and by the time they had decided to leave, it was already dark outside.

„Oh we have to hurry now, I wasn't watching the time!“ She urgently tugged at his sweater as he put his jacket on, back to bouncing on her heels in impatience. They rushed by the many people heading to the nearest bar and club, almost losing his bodyguards in the throng, but soon the crowd thinned out and he saw her destination.

Once they had made their way into the park, the crowd became more dense again, but they were not heading to the center of attention anyway. The further away they got the darker it became and he quickly gave his bodyguards a sign that they would be fine for now as they climbed a hill that oversaw most of the park. „I've been coming here for a while now, they have concerts every weekend and from here you have the best vantage point and still nobody is ever here.“

They stopped at a large tree with some flat ground in front of it. She produced a blanket from her backpack, spreading it out on the ground for them to sit on. „Let's get comfortable, the band should start soon. I really like them, they play here rather often too.“ It just seemed so surreal to him, having grown up with everything he could wish for, never having to ask for anything and yet here he was, cuddling with the love of his life sitting on the ground of a park to listen to a band play in the center of it. And it was the happiest he had been in a long time, if not at all.

He had often wondered how his life would turn out, would he marry the daughter of another rich businessman, never really feeling loved despite ending up fathering an heir or two? Would he end up like his father, marrying woman after woman to get the affection he so craved but never received?

No.

He had made his decision weeks, if not months ago, but never quite sure when the right moment would present itself. Even now he felt the hard little box digging into his chest in his jacket pocket, screaming at him to finally overcome his nerves. Having her cuddling into him, her legs thrown over his to get as close as possible, he finally made up his mind. There was no need for grand gestures, not with her, nothing about their relationship was as traditional as he was taught to idolize and he was quite content with that. She looked up in confusion as he shifted and he couldn't contain his smile as her eyes grew large the moment she saw the small box in his hand.

„I have been thinking long about how I would go about this, I am so used to grand proposals that I kept thinking up occasions most fitting, writing up speeches in my mind but no scenario really felt right when I thought about you, about us. It didn't took long into our relationship for me to know that you are the one I want to spend my life with, no matter what my family or society might say.“

Her breath hitched a little and he tilted her chin up, wiping away one of the tears that had already started to fall from her lashes.

„But being with you made me realize that their opinion is not important in any thing that concerns our relationship. I was told all my life that I would end up like my father, but you showed me that even I am not only capable of loving someone but being loved as well. I intend to give you many more gifts than this ring, but I don't think there is anything greater you could ever give me than your love. I know that this relationship is not perfect, nor will it ever be but if it means that I get to be with you even a moment longer I will move heaven or hell to make you happy. I cannot think of anything that would make me happier than sharing not only everything I own with you but my name as well. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?“

He had barely finished his question when she suddenly brought him in for a kiss, her cheeks still wet from happy tears, portraying all the emotions she didn't trust her voice to carry. „Of course. Of course I will!“ They shared some more kisses, more passionate than ever before until their lips were swollen and their cheeks red. The ring fit perfectly, of course it did. It was a simple ring, gold with a small diamond in the middle, engraved with both of their names. They both marveled at the thin band for a few more moments, sharing the occasional kiss when the band announced their final song for the evening.

„May I have this dance?“ They helped each other up and embraced each other for the slow song until Jumin lifted her a little to stand on his feet, swaying and spinning the both of them along to the melody until the last chords faded into the night.

#scenario #imagine #headcanon #mystic messenger #mysme #jumin han #jumin

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ilguna · 3 years

Text

Berceuse - Chapter Two

summary: you can’t protect her forever.

warnings; swearing. murder plot ?

wc; 10.1k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

It’s a good thing that Alyssum has a high pain tolerance, otherwise she’d be doing a lot more than gritting her teeth right now. The sound of the wax ripping off her skin is enough to bring tears to her eyes, even though it’s not actually taking any hair with it.

The prep team is trying to be gentle, Alyssum can tell by their movements. They’ll warn her ahead of time, tell her when they know it’s going to be particularly brutal. It wasn’t until an hour ago, did she realize that they must have worked on you when it was your Hunger Games.

It must also be why they have this look on their face, like they know Alyssum but are too afraid to bring it up. She already knows Elysia has watched her grow up, so it’s not really a surprise that these people have watched her too. Of course, Alyssum hasn’t been in the public eye for nine years, this is her first appearance in a while. It must be some form of whiplash, from seeing a toddler to a teenager.

At the beginning of the session, the prep team had taken enough time to introduce themselves and what they would be focusing on. Cleo, a blonde girl with artificial curls, focuses mainly on the smaller details; Alyssum’s nails, special effects, and clothing adjustments if they’re needed. She’s talkative but polite and curious.

Leo, the only boy with dark orange hair and freckles like stars across his cheeks, is her makeup artist. He’s got gentle fingers, and a contagious laugh. His accent is stronger than the other two’s, and he always tilts his head when he's done with a sentence. He’s managed to find a way to reshape her face so far.

And finally, there’s Beth. Naturally dark and wavy hair, pretty brown eyes. She’s the quietest, doesn’t talk unless she’s genuinely interested. She does Alyssum’s hair, scrubbing her scalp and carefully washing the soap and other products from her hair.

Alyssum can see why you like them. You don’t talk about them often, only sometimes in the boarding school, and if it’s at home, it’s always regarding parade outfits. Otherwise, it’s always in passing and never in detail.

Well, at least she can finally put a face to all the names she hears so often. It’s one thing to look forward to, to see all the people that had saved her older sister before she went into the Hunger Games. The ones that gave you a bright start and all the right pointers to help you win.

“I think we should hose her down one more time.” Cleo says, her hair is pulled up and out of her face, there’s a faint glisten of sweat across her forehead.

“And we can give her the lotion.” Beth says, giving Alyssum a reassuring smile, “Then she’ll be all done.”

Alyssum smiles back.

They took their time with the finishing touches, making sure they hadn’t missed any patches of hair, ticked everything off their list, and did any special adjustments that were required during the session. Once that’s done, and they’re sure that they’re not going to need her again, they leave to get Laurel, her stylist.

Alyssum vaguely remembers meeting Laurel, and it wasn’t during your Victory Tour when you’d won. No, she was too young to actually realize that she should be taking in her surroundings to hold to her memory. Instead, Alyssum remembers meeting Laurel during Annie’s Victory Tour, when she came to visit during the winter, at the very beginning.

She can’t seem to recall much, besides the obvious fact that Laurel was much, much taller than she was at the time. Alyssum had only been eight at the time, and back then, she was only beginning her training at the boarding school. The reality of what type of world she lives in didn’t quite set in just yet.

Alyssum ties the robe shut, per Beth’s instructions. Laurel trusts them enough to not double-check their work. Not to mention, there’s not much to go over in the first place, she’s still very young.

When the door in front of her slowly starts opening, Alyssum sits up a bit taller on the medical table she’s sitting on. It reminds her of the check ups she has every month to make sure she’s growing properly.

A tall woman with dark hair is revealed, and immediately, Alyssum knows that it’s Laurel. She can’t help herself when she gets off of the table and heads forward, arms extended for a hug.

Laurel opens only one of her arms, but squeezes Alyssum into her side tightly, a slight laugh bubbling out, “How have you been, Aly?”

“Good, if you ignore the reaping.” She smiles, allowing Laurel to direct her out of the adjacent room and into the next one.

It has a few couches, and a coffee table in the middle of them with food displayed.

“Still passing all of your classes?”

“Yes, of course. (Y/n) and Reed make it hard not to.”

Alyssum takes a seat on the couch, hands resting in her lap. It isn’t until Laurel motions to the food in front of her, does she realize that the food is for her, not for Laurel. It’s also at that moment, she remembers that she hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast this morning, which had to have been hours ago.

With no argument, Alyssum takes only the food she recognizes, not feeling adventurous. The food last night on the train was delicious, there’s no question about it. The problem is that, in less than two hours, she’ll be in front of a large crowd who already knows her name, and her entire background. The last thing that Alyssum wants is to get sick all over the chariot.

“(Y/n) requested for me to be careful with what I dress you in.” Laurel says.

“That’s probably for the best.” she pauses between bites, “Reed likes it better if I don’t show too much skin. I think it was the same way for (Y/n).”

A knowing smile crosses her stylists’ face, “Yes, that’s why we had to change her outfit. I have something that’s a little more modest for you, too.”

“He’ll like that.” Alyssum rests her plate on her knees, “What will it be?”

“A dress, we’re going for an underwater princess theme. It’ll cover your skin in the right places, all while making you look appealing to the potential sponsors in the audience.”

“Has (Y/n) seen it?”

“Yes, she’s already approved of it.”

Alyssum lets out a hum as she nods, trying to picture it to herself. It’ll probably be blue, that’s all that District Four is known for being. A vast blue ocean with violent waves, green seaweed that traps the legs, brightly-colored coral reefs that are a sore to the eye, and endless amounts of potential outfits that come from fish, alone.

A blue dress, something breezy because it represents the wind that comes from the ocean. Likely ripped, or maybe wet to give the illusion that she’s just come out of the water, and plenty of jewelry to secure the idea that she’s a princess. This idea has been done before, there’s no doubt about it, it’s Alyssum’s turn to represent the idea.

She finishes her plate, setting it onto the table, then gives Laurel a bright smile, “When do we start?”

A couple of hours later, Alyssum is standing in front of a mirror in the dressing room. The dress she’s wearing is lopsided, with one side being shorter than the other. The short side goes to her knees, the longer going to her ankles. It’s ripped, just as she thought it would be, and layered to make the dress bigger. The fabric is soft against her skin, almost ticklish.

The top half of the dress is halter--no sleeves, the support is in the neck--it’s a little tighter in the middle, but the back is open to make up for it. And then they gave her white no-show socks for her, also white, dress flats. As for jewelry, so far the only important piece seems to be on her head, the pearl crown.

Of course, she has the whole matching set; the pearl earrings, the pearl necklace, and the pearl bracelet. None of it compares to the crown, or even the diamond ring that they managed to find in the drawers.

Her makeup is mild, most of it being rainbow highlights so that the sun rays catch her face the right way. Leo insisted on light blue eyeshadow, blush, and clear lip gloss, Cleo made sure Alyssum had blue nails. As for Beth, she decided on a simple halo braid, with white ribbon woven through. There’s a few loose hairs hanging in Alyssum’s face that were promptly curled once the braid was done. And as if the ribbons weren’t enough, Cleo tucked in a few white flowers.

It isn’t until she sees Paslee at the chariots, does she realize how severely overdressed she feels. So much jewelry, flowers, and makeup. Only for Paslee to look simple, with a suit and a crown on his brow. She does notice the matching flower tucked into the suit’s pocket.

Alyssum has half the mind to glare at you for allowing this to happen. She understands that the stylists’ all have a vision, and in order to stay as a stylist, they need to go above and beyond. She just thinks it’s ridiculous, and embarrassing that she looks like a walking mannequin.

Until she takes a look around her, and realizes that she’s not the only one. She’s far from being the only girl overdressed next to their male counterparts. District One is dressed in glitter, District Two is a little more naked this year, and it’s all the same for the districts to her right.

“It looks like you’re going to get most of the attention.” Paslee says, nudging Alyssum’s arm with his elbow. He gives her a grin, trying to be polite and calm her nerves.

She doesn’t know how he’s so at ease. Everyone back home is going to see them two, everyone from the boarding school will be taking pointers on how to or not to act. It doesn’t matter if they fail or succeed, the two of them will both be examples. Their mistakes picked apart and shamed by the other victors, by the future victors.

And her brothers, and family friends, who have seen you go through this exact same situation, will be seeing all the differences and similarities. Practically experts all by themselves since they experienced it second-hand. Affected, but not directly.

Still, Alyssum manages to muster a smile to give back to Paslee, “I’ll try and save some for you.”

Paslee laughs, not minding the fact that he’s drawing attention. As soon as you and Finnick approach, dressed formally in your own ways, business begins. Laurel circles Alyssum, trying to catch any last-minute mistakes, picking at areas in the dress she realizes she doesn’t like, and tucking any fabric that needs to get out of the way.

When it comes to Pleurisy and Paslee, he just has a few curls out of place, and they fix the flower in his pocket by safely-pinning it so it doesn’t move anymore. Other than that, his shoes are still shined, and he knows better than to make any big movements in the suit, afraid that it’ll rip.

“Okay,” you breathe, “You two already know that there are cameras, so be wary of any facial expressions.”

Alyssum nods.

“Everything will come to you naturally, so don’t worry about doing the wrong or right thing.” Finnick smiles, “Just remember that whatever you do today, will be your personality for the rest of the week.”

Paslee stands a bit taller, “What about the arena?”

“Facades don’t last very long,” you say, “Remember when I showed you my games? Or what about Johanna’s?”

It dawns on him, “Wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

“Exactly.”

The anthem begins, silencing any other thoughts. The large doors slide open, allowing light to fill the hall they stand in, revealing them to the crowded streets. This is when Laurel and Pleurisy jump into action, forcing Alyssum and Paslee onto the chariot just as District One begins to move out.

“Turn inwards a bit!” You shout over the roar, hoping they hear it.

Alyssum turns her body so that she’s more towards Paslee, than the crowd. She takes in a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds while she feels her heart beat in her chest. When she breathes again, she feels slightly more relaxed, trying to ignore the impending doom feeling that’s stuck in the back of her mind.

The chariot begins moving, leaving her worries behind her. There’s no time to focus on the wobbliness of her knees, or the dryness of her mouth. She tries to suppress the smile sneaking onto her face, but the moment cheers erupt into screams, she can’t help it anymore.

Alyssum is your little sister, she has a big name to live up to. She may only be twelve, but there’s a whole list of people that are expecting great things, inside and outside of the arena. Forget everyone else here, Alyssum is underneath a microscope.

She lifts her hand and waves to the crowd of people on her left, trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible. How many of them were your sponsors? Will they sponsor her? Do any of them actually like her?

Then she hears her name screamed, head whipping in the direction, eyes searching to see a woman dressed in red. The woman hurls a blue rose at Alyssum, making her jerk to the side to catch it in time. Thankfully, all thorns have been removed from the stem, otherwise there’s no doubt that she’d be bleeding.

With the flower in hand, Alyssum holds it up for the woman to see, breaks a good portion of the stem, and then tucks it into her hair. Just as she moves on, more gifts are being thrown at her. Paslee, who’s begun to notice, can’t help but to laugh with her. It’s all so ridiculous.

Alyssum opens her mouth, leaning over to talk to Paslee, when the crowd explodes behind them. She thought that they’d been loud for her, but there’s another district that seems to have captured attention.

Paslee says something, she doesn’t catch it. Her eyes flicker upwards, looking to find some sort of indication on what’s going on. Should she be panicking or upset? All she knows is that she can’t turn around to look. It’ll just take the attention away from her, and redirect it to the other district.

She sees it on a television screen above her. Her smile slowly fades, she nudges Paslee with her elbow to get his attention. He follows her gaze, and soon, he’s no longer smiling either.

District Twelve is on fire.

Both of them, the girl and the boy, are on fire. They’re dressed in neck-to-ankle black, complete with a cape. They’re so bright, it makes the career districts forgettable. Alyssum tries not to be mad, making a genuine effort to convince herself that she should be happy for District Twelve, they’ve actually become memorable for once.

She can’t keep the thought process going on for long, though. The Hunger Games is a competition, tributes are posed against each other from the start. Those sponsors that could’ve been hers, are now possibly theirs.

District One’s chariot begins to enter the City Circle, signifying that the parade is already halfway over. All that’s left is the president’s speech, and then they’ll be on their way back to the hall that they came from in the Tribute Center.

Knowing that there’s going to be more cameras, Alyssum fixes her stance so that she’s standing taller again, forcing the smile to come back to her face. She can still hear the cheering and clapping behind her, the Capitol isn’t done with getting their fill of the Twelve tributes.

Each of the twelve chariots fill the loop of the City Circle, on the buildings nearby, Alyssum can see that every window is packed. With how close they are to the president’s mansion, it just means that these people are the most expensive. They are the ones that Alyssum should be wanting to sponsor her.

Since District Four’s chariot is already stopped, and now they’re just waiting for the others to come to a halt behind them, Alyssum looks up to the windows and gives a slight wave. Nothing hurts right now, anything she doesn’t do could set her up for failure. If she does too much, then it’s the same thing.

With the music ending flourishly, she redirects her attention to the balcony, where President Snow has stepped on to make his appearance for the speech. He gives his traditional welcome, but Alyssum’s focused on the television screen still, watching as the camera crew does their usual stop-and-go on the tributes in the chariots. She’s happy to see that she does get a few extra seconds, probably just long enough for Caesar and Claudius to comment, before moving on to the other districts.

They stay on Twelve the longest.

When the speech is finally over, the horses bring the chariots around the circle one last time for a final look, then they bring the tributes into the Tribute Center.

The chariot barely has enough time to come to a stop before the prep teams have surrounded Alyssum and Paslee, clapping their hands and squealing out praise. Alyssum tries to kindly accept what they have to say, but her eyes are on District Twelve, wanting to see who their stylist is. Only a genius pulls something like that out of thin air, and they’re brave to do it for Twelve in the first place.

The first thing that she notices is how she’s not the only one looking. Many, many other tributes around the girl and boy from Twelve are staring, and they’re not friendly looks either. This is enough for Alyssum to decide that she doesn’t need to hop on the train of hate, the other tributes already have that handled.

Just as she goes to turn away, her eyes catch Twelve’s girl--Katniss’--eyes. And it’s in those seconds, does Alyssum realize she’s got this whole thing backwards. Yes, the Hunger Games is a competition, which is the exact reason why she should be trying to get ahead at any possible chance. Even if there’s no guarantee it works, or that it might mess up future plans, it’s worth a try.

This is why Alyssum smiles, and waves long enough for Katniss to wave back. The two of them have got a lot of spotlight on them at the moment, only for different reasons. They could always bounce back and forth, desperate for the most shining airtime, or they could become allies and use it to their advantage.

Katniss gives Alyssum a shocked smile.

A hand is placed on Alyssum’s upper back, drawing her from the interaction she was having. When she looks over, she can see that it’s you, and you’re giving a curious look to where Alyssum was just staring.

“Ready to go?” you ask, once you don’t see anything.

“Yeah.” She beams.

Together, in a group, they all move to take an elevator up to their floor. On the way over, Paslee and Alyssum take a look at the careers while they can, since this is their preview to the training rooms. Of course, they saw them on television, but it’s nothing compared to seeing them in the flesh.

And from what Alyssum gathers in less than a minute, the most threatening district in their career group is going to be District Two. Just like she had figured yesterday, when she saw the reaping recaps. The girl is short but bulky, and the boy is average and strong. He’s been training his entire life, Alyssum knows it.

Elysia calls for the elevator, and holds the door so that everyone can go inside, with the exception of the stylists and prep teams. Elysia presses the button that will lead them to District Four’s apartment, in the meantime, Alyssum stares through the glass walls and watches as the ground gets further away from her.

This is her first--and probably last--time in an elevator.

In the apartment, Paslee and Alyssum suddenly have free reign until dinner. Elysia shows them their rooms again, and they’re bigger than the ones on the train. Alyssum figures that she may as well shower, not really wanting to stay in her costume until dinnertime.

She hums to herself as she picks out a comfortable evening outfit, jeans and a shirt, and gently picks up the shoes to lay by the door. The shower in the Capitol is much more complicated than the one on the train. She sets everything down on the counter, and messes with the control panel on the shower until it turns on, and it’s a respectable temperature.

The makeup runs straight down the drain, easily forgettable. She doesn’t need to wash her hair again, it’s been done plenty of times today already, so she just keeps it in the braid. The most she does is take out the flowers and toss them in a nearby trash can in the bathroom. After that, she’s left to scrub dirt and sweat from her skin, thinking how it’s such a waste of time to spend hours preparing her for just one chariot ride that doesn’t even last thirty minutes.

Just as Alyssum’s finished getting dressed, Elysia is knocking on the door to let her know that dinner’s ready. She slips on the shoes that she set beside the door, and then heads out of the room.

The first thing that Alyssum notices is how the stylists are here, which means they must be joining supper. It’s perfect, actually, because Alyssum has a question about District Twelve’s stylist, not really over how they gave Katniss and her tribute mate such a big debut.

You’re sitting at the table with Finnick, Laurel and Pleurisy, the four of you being engrossed in conversation. Elysia is nowhere to be seen, presumably retrieving Paslee. Alyssum almost feels like she’s intruding on the moment, until you’re motioning her over to join.

“How are you feeling?” you ask, giving her a side hug.

She smiles slightly, shrugging, “Good? I don’t know.”

“You’re not nervous or anything?”

Alyssum pauses long enough to realize what you’re implying. It isn’t about what she’s feeling at the moment, it’s any worries that might have come up from this morning to now. For example, the tribute parade.

“Oh, well,” Alyssum moves around the table to take an empty seat near to you, “I just wanted to know if Twelve’s stylist was new, since it’s a different approach to the district, instead of the usual coal miner stuff.”

Finnick nods, a smug look on his face when he looks at you, “I told you.”

You briefly glare, “I said I wasn’t sure because I saw her waving to the tributes, I never said you were wrong.”

“Your tone of voice did.”

“That’s--” you start.

“--not the point.” Laurel finishes smoothly, looking over Alyssum carefully, “And you’re smart for picking that up, because he is new.”

“Should we be worried about the interviews?” Paslee asks, coming down the steps with Elysia. He’s also changed into something more comfortable, taking a seat next to Alyssum.

“It’s all about personality and becoming memorable, as always.” Elysia tries.

“That’s not what I meant,” Paslee shakes his head, “I meant outfit-wise. If he pulled that out of nowhere, then what else will he be able to pull?”

If Alyssum was worried about Paslee not picking up on things earlier, she isn’t anymore. She knows that he’s older than her and all, but sometimes people skip over the small details because they don’t think it’s important.

“We’re going to try and find a way to make you guys pop too,” Pleurisy says, “We just have to change the outfits that we had originally laid out.”

“That’s comforting.” Paslee mutters, it’s hardly audible, and it looks like the others didn’t pick it up, with the exception of Alyssum.

It’s silent in the room for a long moment, allowing the tension to settle in further. Alyssum knows that all the outfits are supposed to be the stylists idea, which is the exact reason why they have so many outfits planned for the future. In a situation like this, though, planning ahead does nothing but screw you over.

Well, Pleurisy did just say they have to change the original outfits, anyway. It doesn’t hurt to try and throw out some ideas.

“What if the outfits changed pictures?” Alyssum asks Laurel.

She sits up taller, “What do you mean?”

“Um… well, like an optical illusion but if I moved my body, the scenery on the dress would change to something else because of how I was standing.”

It’s quiet for a moment, Alyssum begins to doubt the idea, maybe it wasn’t smart after all.

“Oh,” Elysia says, “Oh, I get it, like those Valentines cards that kids hand out in school.”

Laurel shifts her attention to her, “Is that what she means?”

“People hand out cards?” Paslee asks.

“It must be a Capitol thing.” Finnick tells him.

The light goes off in Pleurisy’s head too, “Lenticular! It’s called lenticular, I was just talking to Esmeray about it.”

“Do you think it’s possible to pull off?” Laurel asks, “Besides the materials, I think we could order it all tonight.”

Pleurisy is nodding quickly, “Yes, we just need to figure out the pictures--”

Paslee pats Alyssum on the back, “Quick thinking.”

Alyssum smiles, “Thank me later.”

Dinner kicks off after that, the Avoxes serving the meals one at a time. It’s just like how it was on the train, starting lightly with savory soups, and slowly moving into more of the heavier, more filling, foods. About halfway through, Alyssum decides that she’s full and would like to give her stomach time to settle before continuing.

The conversation keeps on the interview outfits for a while, Laurel and Pleurisy allow everyone to chime in and ask questions. Every now and then, they’ll actually ask for input on what the dress should look like. Like base color, where the pictures should go, what the top half of the dress should look like--it’s already decided that it should be puffed out and end above her knees.

Or with Paslee, what type of suit, if the pants should be the same material or just a plain base color. If his pictures should resemble something different or similar to Alyssum. It even goes down to the question of whether or not Alyssum and Paslee should match during the interviews, it’s common but not exactly liked by tributes.

For now, the two of them agree to it, because they haven’t found a need to say no just yet. Maybe later on, if the two of them have suddenly lost interest in an alliance and found two different groups to stick with. Alyssum has a feeling that Paslee is going to naturally drift towards the careers, which isn’t a horrible idea for him. He’s seventeen, built like the rest of them. Alyssum is still small, she’s twelve, and she’d be the youngest out of all of them.

Then again, there’s no one else to really form an alliance with. Of course, there’s always the other twelve year-old girl from Eleven, or the occasional other young tributes from the less popular distracts. That’s a whole problem by itself, though, because they’re typically not prepared for the Hunger Games, and therefore become a danger the more that time goes on.

And Alyssum can’t forget about her interaction with Katniss just a few hours ago. She’s an older sister, Alyssum saw her volunteer over the younger girl. Alyssum knows it could mean a number of things, like Katniss just wanting to protect her. But out of all the Hunger Games that Alyssum has watched, she’s never seen an older sibling volunteer over the younger one, because either way it’s a death sentence. Both of them will die.

No one is driven to volunteer that quickly just because they want to protect their younger siblings. There’s always a part of them that knows that they can win the Hunger Games. And for that exact reason alone, makes Alyssum think that Katniss can be a good ally. It’s just a matter of getting close enough to see what she knows.

Also, if Katniss does end up showing promise before the Hunger Games, the last thing that Alyssum would want is to be an enemy of some kind. Even a little bit of friendship between two tributes can go a long way. She’s seen it happen before, and it typically pays off in the end. Even if that means to sacrifice certain alliances.

After dinner, the Avoxes bring around a tall cake, painted a light shade of green. When they cut it open, candy pearls spill out the middle, clattering against the glass plate. They dish out a healthy serving for everyone to have, but with how rich the cake is, Alyssum can’t get through half of it before feeling full.

Once they’re all done at the table, they move on to watch the recap of the tribute parade. Honestly, Alyssum doesn’t like having to watch it over, it just means she gets to see the Capitol freak out over Twelve again. She’s tired of talking about them, at least until tomorrow.

The good news is that Alyssum and Paslee had been the center of attention until they had come out. If there’s anything to build off of, it would be that. But she already figured that was the case.

“It’s been a big day,” you start, looking over to Paslee and Alyssum, “I’m sure you two are exhausted.” You reach over, tucking one of the loose hanging hairs out of Alyssum’s face and behind her ear. There’s a gentle smile on your lips, “Finnick and I damn near passed out after our parade.”

Finnick places his hand on your upper back, a smile beginning on his own face, “We skipped dinner entirely.”

“Rest.” your attention diverts to Paslee, “Meet us here tomorrow morning so we can help you with the training session. The first day always means the most, the two days that follow are just as important. We’ll be here if you have any questions.”

“I’ll wake you in the morning if you don’t get up yourself.” Elysia pipes, sitting up straight.

It’s clear that they’re queueing them to go, so Alyssum doesn’t argue. She looks at Laurel, “Thank you for the tribute parade. And if you see the others, can you thank them too? I appreciate them being gentle.” she turns to you and Finnick, “Goodnight, love you.”

“Love you too.” you say, Finnick’s voice echoes yours.

Just like that, Alyssum heads up the steps, leaving Paslee to say his own goodnight. She doesn’t go into her room immediately, though. She stands in the hallway, hands tucked into the pockets of her jeans while she waits for him to catch up. When he does, he notices her and stands on the other side of the hall to make it look like he’s gone to his room.

“Do you want to try out the career group?” She asks.

“What else do you have in mind?” Paslee asks back.

Alyssum tilts her head slightly, eyes drifting from his face when she hears you and the others start speaking to each other again, “Katniss and her friend have made a pretty good impression.”

“They’re from Twelve,” he says, tone disinterested.

“(Y/n) and Finnick were fifteen and fourteen when they won together, an occurrence that the Capitol hadn’t allowed in like--thirty years!” she brings her hands out to motion, “I’m not talking about odds here, because they’ve always been wonky with my family. I’m saying we pool sponsors together if they end up showing some promise.”

Paslee doesn’t look convinced, his face twists and he’s shaking his head still. Alyssum’s only heard stories about what happened between you and Finnick during your time in the Capitol. There’s one story you tell to all the newcomers of the boarding school to give them an idea of what it’s really like. And the big lesson that normally derives from it, is that alliances don’t last.

You and Finnick had been allies until the two of you split, you to the careers and him to a group of lesser known tributes. In a way, it worked out in the end because the two of you did end up back together. The only problem is that’s not always the case.

While Alyssum was watching the tribute parade, she noticed something very specific, and it’s that out of all of the districts, only two of them were friendly to each other. And she means that she and Paslee had looked at each other, and Katniss and her friend were holding hands. Out of the other ten districts, neither of the tributes even bothered to acknowledge each other.

Alyssum may not be perfect, but she’s not stupid enough to ignore the facts. She knows that it’s not often that tributes are going to like each other, especially coming from the same district. So, why not try and create an alliance that’ll actually work? Not even Districts One and Two were talking to each other.

“Okay, well, you don’t have to like the idea,” Alyssum gives him a funny smile, “It’s just there in case it’s the better option.”

“I don’t…” Paslee trails off.

She’s backing away toward her room, eyebrows raised, “You don’t what?”

He doesn’t answer her, she goes into her room. You’ve said it many times inside of the boarding school, that only the tributes that have been drawn to go into the games can assign their fate. No one else can make these decisions for her, and dwelling on just one person can very well ruin her plan.

She gets ready for bed, changing into a pair of shorts and a shirt before curling into bed. The bed is soft and comfortable, the room cold enough to enjoy, and the blankets keeping her warm, she falls asleep in no time. Even though there are nightmares waiting in the days coming.

Elysia’s insistent knocking wakes Alyssum, she stands in the doorway, waiting patiently until Alyssum can finally comprehend what she’s saying, “First day of training, you’re not going to want to skip breakfast.”

Alyssum yawns, using the heels of her hands to rub her eyes.

“All uniforms are pre-picked by the stylists, yours should be in the closet.”

When she lifts her head, she sees a blurry image of Elysia standing at the door, one hand resting on the frame, the other on her hip. Alyssum has to blink a few times in order to see better.

“Okay, thank you.”

Elysia nods her head once, and then whirls around to leave. The door slides shut automatically, and Alyssum is left to get ready by herself. She silently makes her way around the room, throwing any blankets that might have ended up on the floor, back onto the bed.

The closet is still unnecessarily big, so it takes her a moment to scan the shelves to see which clothes Laurel had laid out for her. There’s a sports bra, a tank top and leggings all folded together on the shelf. She picks it all up, and grabs any extra items she’s going to need while getting ready.

She spends a good minute staring at the window that takes up the entire wall, not liking the idea of the people below seeing her sleeping--and changing. She groans and heads into the bathroom instead, changing into the training outfit. It’s white in most areas, the accent color being black. Her leggings are entirely black, and the shoes are a repeat of the shirt.

Alyssum takes her time trying to brush her hair, knowing that there’s going to be snarls. The blow dryers that the shower comes with were extremely good at getting it all out last night. Today, it’s Alyssum’s problem. And she ends up tying it out of her face, anyway, not wanting to be bothered by it all day.

It isn’t until she’s finished getting ready, does she realize that she’s missing something very important. She stands in the bathroom, staring at herself for a long time, going over each body part individually, thinking that she’ll catch it that way. She’s right, her eyes stop on her neck.

The necklace isn’t there.

Alyssum straightens up, the sleep completely leaving her body. Did she leave it on the train last night? You even went out of your way last night to ask to make sure she wouldn’t, and here she is. Then again, it could have happened this morning when the prep team had jumped at her for the grooming.

Did she even have it this morning?

Alyssum leaves her bedroom, going into the dining room. You’re already sitting out there with Finnick and Elysia, Paslee nowhere to be seen. He’s probably still getting ready, or searching for his training outfit, since it wasn’t in any obvious spot like Alyssum thought it would be.

“Good morning,” You hum, giving a smile to Alyssum, “How’d you sleep?”

Alyssum shrugs, “Pretty good, actually.” She takes her seat at the table, “Did you take my necklace off the train?”

Your smile widens into a grin, and Alyssum immediately knows that it’s the case, “Yes, and I already gave it to Elysia. The Gamemakers will have a look at it, and if it’s approved, Laurel will give it to you before you go back into the arena.”

“Okay,” she falls back against her chair, relieved that she’s not going to be in charge of it for the next couple of days.

“What about you?” Finnick asks Paslee, “Any tokens?”

Paslee nods a little, bringing up his wrist to show off a silver bracelet, “It belonged to Marsh. He forgot to take it into the arena with him.”

Finnick hold his hand out to take it, “Does it have any poison, knives, needles, anything that might get you in trouble?”

“No, it’s just this chain.” he drops it into Finnick’s palm.

“It should pass inspection, then.” Elysia takes it from Finnick, placing it into a pocket on the inside of her jacket.

Breakfast is then served by the Avoxes, taking away the chance to continue the conversation any further. Alyssum eats the assorted dishes, being careful to avoid foods she knows that she doesn’t like, and anything that might make her feel sick inside of the training room. Not to mention, she will be able to eat lunch in a few hours.

You and Finnick finish much faster than they do, and don’t wait for them to finish eating before Finnick begins, “You have to remember that the Hunger Games is a competition. Save your best skill for the private session with the Gamemakers, that happens in two days.”

“Your goal is to impress the Gamemakers, not the tributes around you. Everything you do inside of the gym from today to the private session will be observed and noted. You are careers, they’re expecting great things from you. And there’s no use in saying ‘no pressure’ because the pressure is on.”

Alyssum’s nodding along, so is Paslee. They understand, the two of them have spent years in the boarding school for this reason. They have trained for years, and in doing that, have found the skills that they’re good at, and honed the ones that weren’t as good, they’re prepared. Especially Paslee more than Alyssum.

“Don’t force an alliance with the careers.” you say suddenly, eyes on Alyssum, “I’m talking to you, Aly.”

“I know you are.”

“The careers don’t like tributes younger than them because the younglings are hard to control and sometimes unpredictable. I’m not saying you are, but the more you force them, the more they’re going to deny.”

“Actually, now that you say that,” Finnick looks at you, “Maybe she shouldn’t try at all.”

Alyssum sits up in her chair now, mouth falling open. She wants to object, because that’s not fair at all.

“If she’s good in the training center and scores high, the careers will target her and take her down because they know that she’s weak to some capacity. I mean, look at her and tell me you wouldn’t be able to take her down in a fight.” Finnick explains.

“Well, of course I can.”

“No, I mean look at her from a tribute perspective…” he looks back at Alyssum, the room is silent for a while.

And then you blow air out of your cheeks, “The Twelve tributes we went against.”

“Exactly.” Finnick says, happy that you’ve figured out what he was thinking about, “We were young then too.”

You hum, “She still needs sponsors.”

Elysia clears her throat, “How about you try at eighty percent and not one hundred?”

“Yes, don’t make an actual effort to be noticed.” Finnick agrees.

Alyssum nods slowly, her mouth has since closed. She’s still not exactly thrilled by the idea of hanging back, because it could cost her the training score, but then she remembers that if it doesn’t work out with the careers, she has a backup plan.

“Okay.” Alyssum smiles, “Easy peasy.”

Elysia checks her watch, “We have fifteen minutes before we have to leave. Meet me at the elevator by ten.”

She stands from the table, gives a pointed look to Alyssum and Paslee, and then leaves to the back room. You and Finnick also take this as a sign to get up, knwoing how much work has to be done before the games. And the interview outfits!

“We’ll be here when you get back.” You smile, “Good luck.”

“Thank you.” Alyssum says, heading back to her room.

She brushes her teeth first, making sure that her mouth hurts by how much toothpaste she uses. After, she searches the drawers for some type of body mist that she can put on, on top of the deodorant and everything else she applied before breakfast. She doesn’t want to smell horrible by the end of the day, so she’ll do anything possible to prevent it.

She spends her remaining time trying to find tomorrow’s outfit so that she doesn’t have to search. She places it in the same spot where she found today’s clothes, and hopes that no one will come around later to move it. By the time she’s done reorganizing the closet to her liking, it’s time for her to go.

Elysia is waiting at the elevator, just as she promised she would be. It’s a minute or so later before Paslee is joining them. She presses the button, the doors shut, and the only noise that fills the silence is the sound of the elevator going down. And right when Alyssum is prepared for it to stop at the base floor, it continues.

“The gymnasium is underground.” Elysia says, as if she’s reading their minds. When the doors open again, she starts off first, “I can’t go inside of the room with you, I’ll walk you as far as possible.”

And she does, taking them halfway through the hallway before she decides that they need to show some independence. If the other tributes see her in the doorway, then it’ll be obvious that they had her walk them up. Besides, it’s not really much of a problem, they can see the door now.

“Thank you!” Alyssum shouts, waving goodbye to Elysia before they both head inside.

The doors open automatically, allowing them to get their first look at the room they’ll be training in for the next three days. Alyssum can’t help but to look at each individual station, noting what they are and which ones she’d like to visit before the day is over.

They aren’t the last to arrive, and they aren’t the first either. That’s the good news, because punctuality is important, just not enough to be the first people inside. As long as they come inside some time during the middle, then they won’t be remembered. Even though the other tributes are looking at them now. She wonders what’s on their minds.

Paslee and Alyssum are stopped a little after the doors, being told that they need to wear a mandatory number. They don’t specify why, but it doesn’t take a genius to realize that it’s because the gamemakers need a way to keep track of them. There’s going to be twenty-four tributes inside, she’s almost certain that the gamemakers just think of them all as a blur by now. So many faces, only one of them will survive.

Once the patch is placed on their backs, it’s time for them to pick a place to stand. Her eyes wander, dancing over the different Capitol personnel, glancing briefly at the gamemakers in the box above, and the tributes standing in a circle. Alyssum laces her fingers together, trying to keep level breathing.

These are her opponents. No one here right now is a friend.

She doesn’t even see District Twelve.

The only thing that matters is that the other careers are here, standing together in a group. They’ve already formed their alliance, and they seem pretty friendly for the most part. At first, they pay Alyssum and Paslee no attention, continuing their conversation, filling the air with their laughter.

It isn’t until the blonde girl from One glances, and does a double-take, do the rest of them follow.

“Smile.” Alyssum murmurs, trying to be quiet as she looks away, “If they smile back, then join them. I’ll see you later, grab me if they’re interested.”

“Good luck.” Paslee says.

“Same to you.”

She moves away from the careers, choosing to stand in the back so she isn’t up front near the Capitol trainer. Her mind begins to run, starting slowly and speeding up the more time goes on. Is this the same head trainer that you had nine years ago? What about the people standing at the stations? Or the Gamemakers?

It takes everything in her not to hyperventilate, taking deep breaths through her nose. She’s walking in your shadow, everything she does will be compared to what you had done. Reaping, tribute parade, training score, interview outfits, first day debuts in the arena. It’s beginning to make her sick to her stomach. She shouldn’t have eaten so much this morning.

Thankfully, it’s only a couple more minutes before more tributes begin to trickle in. When District Twelve finally shows up and joins the circle, the head trainer is allowed to begin. Alyssum moves forward to see her, now.

Her name is Atala, she’s tall and clearly athletic. She says that each tribute is free to move station to station as they will, but the experts standing at each station aren’t allowed to move. Tributes are also not allowed to fight each other, which is why combat experts are provided if requested. It’s preferred that all items stay in their respective boundaries, but it’s not enforced.

Once the formalities are over, Atala begins going down a list of the stations available. Starting with survival, and moving on to combat. Alyssum can hardly note the names long enough to remember them. By the time Atala’s going down the combat list, Aly’s decided that she’ll just try and go to each station at least once.

Finally, Atala releases them, allowing everyone to move. Alyssum doesn’t move from her spot so that she can see exactly where everyone goes. The Careers, and Paslee, unsurprisingly head towards the weapons. She turns her body away from that direction, although she knows that she’ll have to go over there eventually.

It just leaves all the survival skills, like fire starting.

She knows all of this already, the most she can do is a basic overview of it all. Ten minutes, at the very least, should be enough to refresh her memory. And hopefully the experts can give her new and improved ways of doing things. District Four’s boarding school is very good, you and every other victor have made sure of that. Sometimes the Capitol can pull tricks out of their asses.

So, Alyssum starts with the fires. The expert is clearly delighted, letting her sit around the ring of rocks before beginning. When they ask if Aly has any previous experience with starting fires, or any clue on how to, it’s an easy answer. She lists off three different ways, and demonstrates all three, before moving on to different ideas.

Since she clearly doesn’t need help, the expert settles for small talk. It’s polite, but they dance around questions, obviously wanting to ask them but are too afraid to go through with it. Alyssum gives up some information willingly, she just keeps the personal stuff to herself.

Once she finally grows bored, she bids the expert goodbye, moving on to the next lucky expert that gets to watch her do their job for them. It’s just as she expected, she knows all of these stations already. The most she can do is refresh her memory every couple of minutes.

Until she gives up the rotation entirely and just stands in the middle of the room, hands on her hips while she tries to make her next decision. All of her logic has secured itself on the idea of the weapons, since she hasn’t had full training with them yet. Even in the boarding school, she was only allowed to dabble in it. It was next year, and the year to follow, where she was supposed to fully begin to understand it all.

The problem is that’s where the careers are, where Paslee is. She doesn’t want to just go over there and make it seem like she wants their attention. If anything, she wants to get some practice of her own. All they do is hoard that area and intimidate anyone who thinks of going over, it’s unfair. And they’re supposed to do that all three days.

The only other option she’s seeing is actually settling on the survival stuff, but it’s pretty clear she doesn’t need to.

She takes in a deep breath, staring at the ceiling for a moment, and then begins to make her way on the far side away from the careers. Which starts her at axe practice, a top-heavy weapon that she doesn’t see herself willingly using inside of the arena. She’s not strong enough to lug a weapon like that around the entire time, something smaller--a knife--would be much easier.

The expert straightens when they see her approach, and are more than happy to begin her on basics. Immediately, Alyssum can see her mood uplift as she begins to learn new techniques, thinking that this is what she should have been doing the entire time. She spends a whole hour just testing out different sizes, and swinging them to get a feel for it.

By the time lunch rolls around, she’s learned how to wield an axe, carry heavier weapons, and only touched her toe to the water when it came to the spears. She knows how to throw spears, it’s the one skill that the victors teach at the boarding school for the younger kids, besides the knives. The smaller the items, the easier it is to work. That’s the rule.

It’s pretty obvious right off the bat that Paslee is stuck with the careers now, so she isn’t surprised when he sits with them and completely ignores her. Not a single glance has been offered her way this entire day. If he’s trying to play up an act, he’s doing a good job of it. She’s just hoping that he isn’t trying to shut her out already. She thought that he’d at least give her a chance to join the career pack.

Either way, it doesn’t matter. Alyssum gathers up a small plate of food that looks good before taking a seat at an empty table. She watches as the other tributes come into the adjacent lunch room, peeling apart her bread rolls and wondering if any of them are actually brave enough to sit with her. Not because she’s intimidating, or the sister of a victor, but because tributes don’t normally intermix--unless you’re a career.

She almost thinks that’s the case, until Katniss and her tribute counterpart are sitting at the end of her table. She shares a smile with the boy, dipping her spoon into the stew. Alliances are so delicate during the first few beginning days of the week in the Capitol, so it’s hard for her to force herself to speak to them.

“Your parade costumes were amazing,” she says, watching as Katniss looks over suddenly, eyes going over Alyssum. There’s no doubt that she’s sizing Alyssum up in some way, maybe figuring out her lifespan in the games will be. She wouldn’t be the first, and she’s not going to be the last, “I would’ve changed my mind last minute.”

The boy chuckles, “Trust me, I did.”

Katniss gives him a look, and then gives a sheepish smile, “Yeah, me too.”

Alyssum sits a bit taller, “I’m Alyssum.”

“Peeta,” the boy extends his hand, Aly moves to take it, shaking it once, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Katniss.” she holds out her hand too, but it’s not as smooth.

Alyssum’s a lot more gentle, and she ends up turning over Katniss’ hands to take a look at her nails, curious to see what her prep team had done to them. It’s just as she expected, fiery nails, flames of red and orange on a black background.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Peeta.” Alyssum let’s go of Katniss’ hand, moving back to her bowl of soup.

Conversation is light with the two of them, it gets a little awkward at times, but Peeta always manages to find a new topic to start with. No matter what, neither of them ask about you, which she’s a little surprised about. Everyone has been talking about the sister situation, so she’s sure it’s only a matter of time before the tributes are dragged in too.

As soon as lunch is over, Alyssum is the first to say goodbye to Katniss and Peeta, explaining that she wants the weapons that the careers were standing by before lunch. They understand, and she manages to take over the sword station, since the careers were dragging their feet.

She finds out early on that she’s not too shabby with a sword. She just needs a lot of practice, which she has more than enough time to do. The expert is polite, and doesn’t hide the fact that they’re surprised over her missing knowledge. Yes, she’s been excelling at survival skills, there’s no doubt that word has traveled, but it doesn’t mean she’ll be good at combat.

Either way, it’s clear that the careers grow impatient over her learning, and don’t give her anymore space. They move back in as soon as they’re ready to, making her a lot more stiff when it comes to swinging the sword. They’re so close, and she can hear their conversation, which is making her even more uncomfortable. Especially since they’re making bets on who’s going to run to the cornucopia, and making hypothetical kills with said tributes.

It all goes downhill once her name is mentioned.

Alyssum stops, sweat running down her temples as she looks over to the group. The girl from Two, the fifteen year-old who volunteered, is looking right at her with a dangerous smirk. The boy with her is also giving the same look.

Paslee glances over his shoulder. Alyssum slams the sword tip-down into the ground, knuckles turning pale from how hard she grips the other end.

“She’s only twelve, she’ll be dumb enough to run into the cornucopia,” the Two girl repeats, “And she’ll be the first I kill.”

Alyssum straightens, “Who says you’ll even be able to get your beefy hands on me?” her eyes wander down, face twisting, “Or that you’ll run fast enough.”

Two girl squints her eyes, starting forward. Alyssum keeps her stance, raising her chin a little when the girl comes close. Two girl is taller than she is, and she’s a lot bigger too. Alyssum knows exactly what you’d say to her right now, and it’s that she’s picking a fight she can’t win, one that’ll bite her in the ass later on.

However, Alyssum is part of the Gallows family, and she’ll dig her own grave if it means to defend the name.

“Say it again.”

“You heard me the first time.” Alyssum snaps, hand tightening around the sword, “If you can’t take the heat, don’t play with fire.”

The girl goes to open her mouth, but she’s stopped when Atala appears, clearly here to mediate.

“What’s going on?”

“Friendly banter.” Alyssum smiles, and then looks at Two girl, eyebrows raised, “She was just telling me how she’s going to kill me during the bloodbath. And I was just about to tell her that I’ll kill her in her sleep just like how my older sister killed Allio during her Hunger Games.”

Two girl jerks, Atala steps in-between before there’s an actual conflict. Alyssum dumps her sword in the bin by the station.

“That’s enough, stay away from each other.” Atala warns.

“If you’re going to get territorial again in the future,” Aly starts, beginning to move toward the door, going to leave early, “you might as well piss on the floor, bitch.”

Two jerks again, it takes two experts to hold her back this time. Alyssum doesn’t turn around after she leaves. It isn’t until she steps into the hallway, does she realize how jittery she is. The amount of adrenaline that must have been going through her body… for a second she had herself convinced that she was going to swing the sword. And she would have, if it had gotten any uglier.

She punches the elevator button, shaking her hands while she waits. She needs to tell you and Finnick before Paslee does, just so he doesn’t get the details fucked up. He might try to cut corners to save the relationship between you two and him, since being on good terms with mentors is an important factor.

The elevator ride is short, and so is the walk to the apartment. By the time she gets inside, she feels considerably better, no longer as shaky, and her body has lost the heat factor. When she walks inside, she’s able to see that Finnick and Elysia are standing together, talking.

Their conversation falters when they both see Alyssum.

Elysia immediately checks her watch, confused, “You aren’t supposed to be back for another hour and a half.”

All it takes is Finnick looking over her once to realize that something isn’t right, “What happened?”

“Got in a fight with one of the careers, and Paslee didn’t do anything to prevent it.”

Elysia’s eyes widen, hurrying over, “Did they touch you? How much trouble are you in?”

“Atala stopped it before we got physical, but I said something after she told us to stop so…”

“Tell me the entire story.” Finnick says.

Alyssum does, trying to be as transparent as possible, but it gets difficult at the end, especially when she starts telling Finnick about the conversation the careers were having right before. He slowly starts getting more angry, Elysia is more stressed than anything. It isn’t until the story is over, does Alyssum get the idea that the situation is worse than she thought it was.

“Well,” Finnick sighs, looking up to the ceiling, “You definitely left an impression.”

“Not the one you wanted me to, though.” Aly frowns, “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, placing his hands on the back of his neck, “You have nothing to be sorry for, I’m hoping the Gamemakers at least watched. That might do some good for your score.”

“Where’s (Y/n)?” Alyssum asks.

“Sleeping, but I guess we should wake her up.” Finnick bites the inside of his cheek.

“I’ll stay out here in case Paslee shows up.” Elysia says, “Make sure he doesn’t go far.”

“Thanks,” Finnick nods, and then jerks his head for Alyssum to follow him, “Do you have an alliance, at least?”

“I sat with Katniss and Peeta during lunch, they’re pretty nice. Didn’t talk to them much.”

“That’s good, try not to make any more enemies, okay?”

Alyssum gives him a funny smile, “No promises.”

BERCEUSE IS A SPIN-OFF //MASTERLIST//

add yourself to the TAGLIST

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#ilguna #berceuse #berceuse chapter two #halcyon

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akaashisupremacy · 3 years

Text

Summer Again

Summary: What's Tsukishima like in a long term relationship? How does he react when he runs into a significant other's parents?

Notes: I have a wealth of Tsukki content on my Masterlist. Check it out if you enjoy this!

This is supposed to be the last segment of my Chasing Springtime Series so I want to thank @itstheee-ha-chan for always reading through my work and @kaizumi for pushing me to write a fic with ocs. You guys are the best!!

Tsukishima x reader

genre: fluff, angst (wc:5.5k )

Read the chapter before || Read this on A03!

Sub-urbs of Miyagi || 3rd Year Junior High || 6:00 PM

Tsukki waited for Kaori just outside their gate. It took their third year in Junior High for them to walk to the summer festival together. It surprised him that it took them this long. The sky was getting dark enough that the moon shone on their district. He stood just below the street lamp with his hands in his pockets.

Lately he had been stifling this feeling of electrifying nerves whenever he saw her. He wasn’t sure where it came from, but it built up during moments anticipation…like now.

Kaori’s feet shuffled on the pavement as she tried closing the gate behind her. In line with the night’s festivities, she wore a dark blue yukata, one of two of her summer kimonos and his favorite one. Her outfit did not allow much movement and he could hear her grunt as she struggled to close her gate.

“Why can’t you just wear normal people clothes?” he asked, quirking a brow. Kaori finally managed to lock their gate and they began their walk uphill to the nearby temple.

“Because,” she said hiking up her skirt so that she could take wider strides, “It looks better in photos and the yukata needed a reason to be washed.”

“Can’t you just wash it and not wear it?” seemed like a practical enough solution.

“That would be a waste of my finery,” she sighed, waving her hand at him like he wouldn’t understand her reasons.

Aside from her obviously labored movement, he didn’t have any complaints about seeing her in a yukata. He liked how she looked so much that he was tempted to smile each time he glanced at her. It was taking all his self-control not to.

A comfortable silence would have sunk between them, but Tsukki felt his cheeks and ears burn at the thought that they were walking to the festival alone. It seemed like they were on a date. People would talk if they were seen together like this. He needed to break the silence to keep his mind distracted.

Kaori was checking her phone, “Kanako says she’s there, but that’s because she lives nearby. Is Yamaguchi there too?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “We just agreed to meet at the bottom of the stairs.”

They ran into Yamaguchi at the bottom of the temple steps just as they arrived. Unlike Tsukki who was in “normal people clothes”, Yamaguchi was also in a yukata.

“Yamaguchi! I’ve never seen you in yukata before. Cool!” she greeted him.

Yamaguchi beamed at her compliment and turned around to show her the fan he had tucked in at the back of his obi or belt.

“I got it as a hand-me-down from one of my cousins. Still looks pretty new though.” he said, beginning to climb the stairs. Tsukki and Kaori followed behind him.

“See Tsukki, if you had worn your yukata too. We could’ve all matched." he added.

“Why would I want to match with the two of you?” he made a face.

“Would’ve made for a nice photo.” shot Kaori.

“Yeah, plus it’ll help you feel more festive.” Yamaguchi nodded. He heard his best friend scoff.

They reached the top of the steep steps where they paused to catch their breath.

“Kao-chan, are your friends here yet?” Yamaguchi asked.

Before Kaori could answer, a boy in a red shirt and khaki pants approached their group. It was one of the boys from the next class.

“Kao-chan!” he called out.

Kaori thought he looked constipated. Tsukki stiffened at the sight of a white envelope in his hand. Yamaguchi was intrigued more than anything by how the situation would shake down. He looked back and forth between the two, Tsukki and their other schoolmate.

“Please accept my letter,” he pleaded with his eyes shut tight while he bowed to her. He held his letter with both hands in hopes she would say yes.

Tsukki glowered at him. Yamaguchi was amused at Tsukki’s reaction. He rarely ever looked so irritated.

“I can’t. I’m sorry,” gasped Kaori, quickly apologizing before she escaped into the crowd she yelled out, “See you guys later.” She waved at Tsukki and Yamaguchi.

The boy exhaled in disappointment, half-ready to wail. Tsukki and Yamaguchi turn their backs and head into the food stalls. As soon as he was out of sight, Yamaguchi elbowed Tsukki in his side.

“What?” said Tsukki.

“Have you ever thought about asking her out? Do you ever worry that she’ll say yes to one of the boys that gives her confessions?” asked Yamaguchi, blowing on a hot piece of takoyaki.

Tsukki groaned, “I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”

“Maybe she’ll say yes if you tell her you like her.” he suggested.

Tsukki was the type of person who shoved away any semblance of emotion, but his infatuation with Kaori was slowly gnawing him from the inside and Yamaguchi knew it.

“Or maybe she’ll say no and we won’t be able to walk to school without feeling awkward.” interjected Tsukki, “Besides, I don’t mind how we are right now. I don’t want it to change. I’d rather wait until this crush on her dies than for things to get awkward.”

Tsukki was fiercely protective of his time with Kaori. That much was apparent.

“Whatever you say Tsukki,” grinned Yamaguchi, “You should’ve seen your face.”

After the fireworks signaled the end of the night’s festivities, Kaori met up with Tsukki at the bottom of the steps.

“I told Kanako about the boy a while ago…” she mumbled, “she said he was kind of lame and I agree.”

Tsukki felt a rush of relief.

“You don’t have to be dating. You’re competing at a really high level and at school. You don’t need the distraction.” he said.

“You sound like my mom.” she snorted, crossing her arms.

Tsukki blushed.

“I don’t want to have a boyfriend. It never seems to end well.” she shook her head, “I hear stories from the gym. Teenage boys are possessive. There are older girls with boyfriends and they either get broken up with because they spend all their time training or they leave the sport.”

“Even the ones that date athletes? I think athletes will be able to understand their schedule better.” he inquired. They’ve never had this conversation before. He grew curious to hear her thoughts. Would she like to date someone with his schedule?

“Dating athletes doesn’t make it last. They’re busy with their own training too.” she shrugged.

Maybe not.

Tsukki had his own training schedule after he joined his school’s volleyball club and he still managed to attend Kaori’s meets. What were the schedules of these boyfriends like? His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Kaori unwrapping candy.

“At this hour?” he asked looking back and forth between her candy and her eyes, “really?”

She rolled her eyes at him, “Yeah, because Kanako isn’t around anymore. She might tell Coach I’m eating sweets.”

He sighed. Kaori liked to snack, but it was discouraged at her gym. She was careful what she ate around her teammates.

“Ne- what about you Tsukki? Do you have a crush in class? Doesn’t seem like it. You seem dead inside.” she nudged him, deep in thought while sucking on her lollipop.

“Are you asking me a question or are you talking to yourself?” he shot back. He tried to look relaxed but he was tensing up. This was a question he had been trying to skirt around.

“Both?” she shrugged her shoulders, or at least tried to in her yukata, “I know someone from school that likes you.” she grinned mischievously, wagging her finger at him.

Tsukki swallowed a lump in his throat before he answered, “Sounds like a waste of time.”

“I don’t need a girlfriend.” he mulled over quietly. He was happy as it was walking home with her, “I’m not handsome or charming or anything. I probably can’t get a girlfriend even if I wanted to.”

“Besides, I have you.” he thought.

“Between the three of us, it seems like Yamaguchi ’s the one that’s going to go first huh?” she said then yelped after stumbling over a bit on the road. She hiked her yukata up for the rest of the walk home. He stopped walking to see if she was alright.

“He’s a nervous wreck around girls though.” he smiled, shaking his head. Yamaguchi was a willing enough victim except that he got nervous at any sort of confrontation with girls.

Kaori turned to him and grinned. They burst into a chuckle.

“He is. I’m not sure he can get through the confession stage.” she giggled.

They fell into another bout of silence until Tsukki spoke up.

“Hey Kaori?” he mumbled.

“Yeah?” she said, half gargling her words with the candy in her mouth.

“What if you do get a boyfriend and he asks you to stop hanging out with me,” he asked, sounding slightly apprehensive, ”and Yamaguchi too.” He didn’t want to be too obvious just by asking about himself.

Kaori scoffed.

“That’s unlikely, but if it does happen,” she paused looking at him firmly, “he has to accept that you’re part of my life too and he can’t make me push you away.’

The smallest of smiles crept up on his lips. He looked up at the moon. Kaori didn’t seem to be in love with someone else. That was good enough for now.

————————————————

Miyagi || 2019 (Second Year, College) || 6:00 PM

Tsukki could not stop looking at the athletic tape on Kaori’s wrist and thigh. He worried excessively when she had any sort of tape on. It immediately brought him back her major back injury during their freshman year in High School.

In the middle of the spring semester, he found her under a street lamp two corners away from their home one evening on his way back home from the district community center. She was sitting on the concrete, leaning against the lamp with her back hunched over.

“Kaori! Kaori! Are you alright?” he asked in disbelief.

She looked up; her eyes were hazy.

“My back hurts. I think I’m injured. I’m alright…just resting a bit. It hurts to carry my stuff home. That’s all.” she smiled weakly, looking up to him before moving her head back down to her knees.

Kaori was clearly not alright. She was pale and she could barely move. Her eyes were unfocused. They were near home. He picked up her bag for her and helped her up.

“Can you walk home if I help you carry your stuff?” he asked. If he wasn’t so exhausted, he would carry her home on his back.

She nodded and winced. Slinging her arm on his back so he could hold her up, he steadied so they could begin their walk home in a snail’s pace. He wondered how she could have even gotten this far from her gym.

When they reached her home, her parents were still out. He gingerly put their bags down, scooped her up and carried her to the coach. She was so light. After some searching in her kitchen, he found some a box of pain patches and some a bag of ice for her back.

“Kaori, do you need anything for your back?” he asked, holding up her two options.

She slowly flipped herself over and asked for the ice. He gently placed the bag on her back and returned the patch to her cupboard. He heard the door open and he rushed out to find her mother, who read the panicked expression on his face.

“What happened to Kaori?” she asked.

“I’m not sure…” he hesitantly spoke, “She looks very injured. I helped her get home, she could barely walk.”

Her mother thanked him and quickly dashed to the living.

Tsukki kicked a bit of the water on the stream as he relived the memory.

“You fret too much. My wrist is just tired, Tsukki. Don’t worry about me.” she said, tenderly running her thumb over his cheek.

“You have a tendency to overwork yourself. Are you sure that’s nothing?” he said, pointing towards her thigh.

Kaori had worn short khakis and a plain white shirt to their little summer outing which revealed her newly taped thigh in addition to her wrist.

She laughed sheepishly, “Ahh, I…uh…overstretched myself last week.” After goofing around with her team mates, she had felt a twitch of pain on her thigh. She pulled a muscle probably because she had pulled a stunt when her body had been cold. It should be gone in a few days.

Tsukki rubbed his temples. Kaori sighed. She really was more careful with herself too. It would save so much more trouble for her coaches and Tsukki. Although she was the type to get injured fairly often, even her major back injury had scared her coaching team and Tsukki.

She didn’t remember much from that night on that Tsukki found her on a street near their home. The next thing she knew, she had woken up in her living room with a towel on her forehead. A spasm ran through her back, she was in so much pain. It was an injury unlike anything she had experienced. It hurt to move. It hurt to lie down. Her sight was hazy. She fell back into a deep slumber.

The water in the stream they were in was shallow but steady. Their feet were dipped in the water to relieve themselves after a long hike in Tsukki’s hometown. Although she had frequently visited The Spot when they were younger, Kaori had found hideaways over her time in Miyagi. The shallow stream a little off the temple road was one of them.

She had been wanting to escape the city into the mountains since the summer began. On a common day off, they visited the stream. She flicked some of the water his way.

“If you keep furrowing your brows that way, they’ll stick like that.” she said.

Tsukki looked at the water stains on his shirt, unmoved by Kaori’s shenanigans. He leaned back on his arms and ignored her before deftly flicking some of the water her way. Some of the water landed in her eyes.

“Hey! Not fair,” she scolded him while rubbing her eyes. She cursed at his quick reflexes. He grinned at her mischievously. Sometimes she felt like they both had completely grown up, but on days like this it was like they were still 12.

“Very mature, Tsukishima.” she said, pretending to scowl with her hands in her waist.

“You started it!” he scowled with his brow raised.

She did admittedly start it. Kaori leaned her body next to his and wrapped her arms around him.

“Ok, you win.” she could feel his head nestle on the crown of hers while she thought about how she could get back at him. Tsukki put one arm around her. He was probably wary that she was cooking up revenge.

It was a hot, bright summer’s day. The buzz of the cicadas and the hum of the stream filled the air. The day was warm and the earth beneath them was arid. Kaori adored the stream because it was kept cool by the shade of large old trees obscuring them from the sun’s heat.

“A friend asked me the other day if I am ever scared that our relationships would end like my parents. Why would you put effort into something that could fail?” she murmured, kicking her toes on the surface of the stream, interrupting the water trickling on the stones.

“My my, so supportive that friend.” he rolled his eyes while running his hand through her hair.

“What would you say to that?” she asked absentmindedly.

Tsukki paused for a minute before his hands returned to her hair, “You can say that on just about anything. I think you’re worrying too much. You just can’t go into a relationship thinking this wouldn’t work or that it isn’t worth it. Sometimes you just have to do it and see where it goes you know. ” He shrugged.

“If this thing really doesn't work out, we’ll go back to being friends. There’s more to us than this dating thing.” he looked at her sincerely.

“I don’t like it when people ask me that kind of question, especially when they know about you. I enjoy being happy right now. I feel like they’re doubting my happiness when they ask that.” she sighed, looking away.

At the height of her parents’ fights, Kaori would wake up to her mother sleeping on the kitchen floor after another evening of bickering. Every time someone asked a question about the longevity of her relationship with Tsukki, she wondered if their relationship would sour to that point.

“Sometimes those kind of questions just scare me. When people find out that I’m in a happy relationship, it makes me feel like they either think I’m naive or I’m supposed to have the key to happiness or something.” she mumbled.

“You care too much about what other people be might be thinking,” he said, waving his hand lazily.

The outcome of her parents’ marriage scared her, but she was damned if she didn’t take her own stab at happiness. Resolute to be happy on the days she could find joy, Kaori was going to enjoy their time together regardless of what the future held. She wasn’t going to let her parents’ poor decisions scare her.

“What did you tell your friend?” he asked.

“It’s not going to fail, because the arc of history is long. If we can wait four years just to be able to see each other again, we can wait however long to fix the relationship if it breaks, romantic or otherwise.”

“I was thinking, if I had two plates - one for the good pile and another pile- when stuff adds to the bad pile it doesn’t take away from the good pile. The good pile stays put. Our good days are untouchable.” Kaori spoke with so much conviction even she surprised herself. She had faith in their relationship’s ability to weather through.

“Yeah,” he smiled, “I guess it does.”

———————————————————————————

“Tadaima,”

Mari Tsukishima glanced at the door as her youngest son, Kei and their former neighbor Kaori Miyahara entered their home. Kaori’s figure peaked behind Kei’s tall stature as they took of their shoes at the porch. She hadn’t seen the girl up close in almost half a decade since the Miyahara family moved out. She was more than curious to see what she looked like now.

Keenly aware of Kaori’s family problems and her status as a star athlete of sorts, Mari had always worried about her. She felt that there was a lot of pressure on a young girl’s back. Still she admired how the young girl handled herself. It implied a toughness beneath her sunny exterior.

Upon entering the kitchen to refill their water bottles, Kaori greeted Mari with a smile and bow, lacking the shyness in many adolescent girls. When they first moved in, Mari immediately offered Kei to walk her to school in hopes of helping him make friends. She would never have imagined that they would just walk to school every day after that. She sighed. Kei had been a whole foot shorter then. It seemed so long ago.

“Do you know what the family next door is like?” Kaori asked Kei.

He shook his head, “Not really, I just know they have young children.”

“I wonder what my room looks like now,” she murmured to herself.

During Kei’s freshman year in High School, he had been extremely upset about her leaving. He refused to talk about it. Mari assumed that they must have made their amends because most of the sullen angst that had marked his face had dissipated, for which she was glad.

“The neighbors have a daughter. I imagine your room still looks similar to how you left it.” said Mari, observing the two of them with her hands on one of the dining room chairs. They turned to her.

“Well, hopefully they don’t climb walls and yell at their neighbors.” sniffed Kei looking at Kaori.

Kaori shot him a dirty look. Kei snickered.

Although Akiteru hinted that they were dating, Kei had been quiet. She suspected as much. He always had a soft spot for Kaori. He would get defensive if she asked about her so she figured to not say anything until he was ready. Mari smiled to herself.

Kei had been coming home more often because Kaori liked exploring her old haunts outside of the city. She was a welcomed influence especially when it meant seeing her son more than twice a year.

“You’ve moved out. They don’t have a reason to yell.” she sniffed.

Kei choked on his water.

Maybe four years wasn’t so long ago, thought Mari.

After a day spent exploring and running errands, the two made their way back to Kaori’s apartment. The sky was quickly turning light purple and the city monotonously hummed into dusk. Kaori was going through texts with one hand while holding Tsukki’s hand with the other. He listened to music on his headphones while they strolled.

Tsukki paused at the sight of her apartment and squeezed her hand. Kaori looked up from her phone. Right in front of the apartment entrance stood Kaori’s mother, equally surprised at the sight of the two of them. Kaori dropped his hand.

“I was in the area and I wanted to surprise you with some food.” said her mother. She turned to Tsukki and quirked her brow.

“Hi Kei-kun,” she greeted him cordially.

Tsukki bowed respectfully and managed to mumble out a greeting. They were definitely going to have to forgo their kiss before they went their separate ways. Kaori bade him goodbye on the spot and told him that she will text him later.

Frozen in disbelief, Kaori stood opposite to her mother with her hands behind her back. Okasan motioned her to get up the stairs.

“I thought you were going to stick to my no boyfriends till after college advice.” said Okasan, walking behind Kaori along the stairs of her apartment, “Is Kei still playing volleyball?”

“Yes.” Kaori answered tersely.

“In the college varsity level?”

“Professionally, he plays in a Division 2 League.” Kaori opened the door to her home and allowed her mother in.

“How long has this been going on?” Okasan placed the groceries on her kitchen counter and began sorting them into her cupboards and refrigerator.

“A year maybe?” she said pausing to think while staring at her mother. Kaori had planned to tell her mother at some point, but this was too early.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” her mother turned to her with her arms crossed. Kaori couldn’t read if her mother was upset or not. After sorting out the food, she stood across Kaori and looked her daughter in the eye. She was a little dazed herself, but she didn’t take too well that her daughter was keeping secrets from her.

“Because it’s private? I don’t need your approval, but I also don’t want your disapproval. Besides, Tsukki’s really private. We’re not getting married yet or anything.” she asserted defensively.

“Is this why you came back to Miyagi?”

“No, I didn’t even know where he was going for college. We lost touch when I left.“ Kaori’s voice had an edge of hostility. The thought that she made decisions solely to be with a boyfriend infuriated her. It was like her mother could not trust her to make decisions for herself.

Okasan nodded, bade her daughter with their usual goodbye greetings and left.

“Just make sure you finish college.” Okasan added, before closing the door. Kaori breathed a sigh of relief. Relationships were always a tough subject for the mother-daughter pair.

Tsukki was obediently waiting in the convenient shop down the corner. Before Kaori’s mother arrived, they had planned to cook dinner together. At the sight of Miyahara-san, Kaori had bade him goodbye and texted him instructions to wait for her mother to leave at the convenience store. In her rush to send him away, she had forgotten to take her groceries with her. He sat with a can of coffee, sighing at the awkwardness of the situation. Parents and romance rarely mix but this was especially awkward.

As soon Kaori texted him the coast was clear, he stepped out of the store. Turning his heels to the corner, he jumped back as he ran into Miyahara-san. He cursed at his luck. He should have waited about ten minutes more.

“I forgot to give Kaori her groceries,” he said coolly, hoping she wouldn’t sense his nervousness. He held up the bag for her to see.

She apologized for running into him. As he was stepping forward, Kaori’s mother stopped him at his tracks with a question.

“Kei, if you don’t mind me asking, what are your intentions with my daughter?” she asked a little curtly.

Although Kei rarely saw Kaori’s parents, Miyahara-san’s tone was still sharper than he remembered. He remembered her as a polite woman who tried to be warm. They didn’t interact much. Her parents were always away for work.

“I want to be there for her for her last two years in college and competitive gymnastics.” he answered concisely. His heart was beating a mile a second. He was annoyed by how unnerved he was. This was not how he wanted to meet her parents.

“What are going to do if she moves away? Kaori might move to Yokohama after college.” she said, eyeing him carefully.

“I told her I’d move with her.” He tried to keep expression honest while simultaneously trying not to give any other emotion away.

“Don’t you think you’re a bit young to be in such a serious relationship? Playing house and promising to move away with her and all that…” she nodded, looking him in the eye.

Playing house? Was she mocking them? Sure, they cooked dinner together sometimes; did she need to phrase it that way?

“I didn’t want to wait until she moved away again. Besides, it kind of just happened.” he shrugged.

“I hope you’re being sincere.”

“I am! I don’t have any reason not to be.” he said, making sure to look straight at her as they spoke.

Miyahara-san eyed the tall young man and his expressionless face. Kei had always been difficult to read. The sudden meeting had caught her unprepared. She decided to keep her questions for the next time they met. He seemed genuine enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukki arrived at Kaori’s door and she opened it before he had the chance to knock.

“Ran into your mother on the way here,” he smirked.

“Sorry I panicked, Ijust wanted to debrief.” she said, taking the groceries from him and laying out the food on her tiny counter. He set aside his shoes and washed his hands before taking out the chopping board.

“What did she ask?” Kaori gave him her full attention. Her gaze seething with curiosity.

“She asked if I thought I was too young to be in a serious relationship that kinda stu-”

“What?” she exclaimed abruptly .

“She also said something about us playing house…”

Kaori’s head spun. She didn’t expect her mother to be overly gracious, but even this was harsher than she expected her to be. Tsukki had been a behaved enough child and his reputation in the neighborhood was relatively untarnished. He deserved better treatment for their first meeting at least.

As Kaori stood analyzing the situation, Tsukki took out the chopping board and a knife.

“Penny for your thoughts,” he said, breaking her out of her reverie, “Did something happen in Tokyo? Your mother didn’t seem like the type of person to be so…suspicious of me.”

Her cheeks flushed pink and the end of her lip tugged to one side. Tsukki raised a brow as she avoided his gaze.

“Okaasan found out about my high school boyfriend because she may have seen me with his arm around me in a park after a jog when I said I was running alone…” she trailed. It was so rare to see Kaori uneasy, usually he was the one throwing him off guard. This reversal was entertaining.

“…I think she would have preferred for me to have broken up with him, but my grades were good and I had just topped my regionals so I was definitely going to nationals…” she continued.

“Go on…” he smirked.

“He was a little older than me, you know because he was already captain of the volleyball team when I transferred and I think she was wary of him because of that too… She kind of threatened to take me off gymnastics if my grades ever fell because she assumed it was going to be because of him… and we may have had a few fights after she said that.”

“Volleyball? You have a type.” he grinned, “An older boy? Wow I am learning a lot of things today.”

She brushed his comment aside, regaining her composure. “I like to think I attract a certain type. I still think she should’ve given you a chance before treating you that way though. You’re a good person.”

Tsukki assumed that Kaori had been with someone else while she was in Tokyo, but they never really talked about it. He didn’t need to know. Nevertheless it was still interesting to hear about her talk about her “lost years” in Tokyo as he dubbed them.

“Mmmm…so she’s still pissed at you about it?” he remarked.

“Obviously,” she snorted.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another day spent wandering around their old haunts, Kaori finds herself alone with Mari Tsukishima. Kei is in his old room, looking for some photos.

“Tsukishima-san, you’re a mother…” trailed Kaori, distracted and embarrassed. She was tapping on her water bottle, a little uncertain about why she was asking Kei’s mother of all people.

“Well, yes I am…” said Mari, curious to see where this conversation led.

“Do you find yourself questioning your kids’ decisions from time to time?” she asked quietly.

Mari was a little surprised by Kaori’s question.

Mari sighed, “From my experience, I find it best to let the kids just make their own decisions…just because I give advice doesn’t mean they’ll take it or that it will be applicable to them.”

She pulled out a tray of mochi from the counter and sat with Kaori on the dining table.

“I don’t mean to pry, but is there something going on that you want to talk about?” she asked kindly.

“My mom, she’s questioning a lot of my decisions because she’s afraid that I would make the same mistakes as she did.” Kaori hesitantly spoke up. Mari didn’t know what Kaori’s relationship with her parents was like after the divorce. It seemed that it had some patches.

“You’re different people. You can’t make the same mistakes.” Mari assured her.

“Do you think I’m too young to be in a relationship?” Kaori asked, her eyes looked at Mari, but her attention was elsewhere. Her fingers fumbled while they talked.

“You’re young, but you’re not too young. I met Kei’s father in college…sometimes you don’t choose the timing. You just make the most out of it.” said Mari.

“You can’t make everyone happy even when you try with all you can. Make the smart choices that you can and ones that you can stick with.” she added.

————————————————

Kaori watched Tsukki close the gate behind them before they started their walk towards the train station. He laced his fingers with hers as they strolled, absent-mindedly stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

“Tsukki, aren’t you afraid that one of the neighbors will see us?” she asked, pulling her hand back and glancing at the houses they passed.

“And who will they tell? My mom? I think she knows.” he huffed, taking her hand again. His relationship with Kaori was like a white elephant in their household. His father probably knew about it too. It’s just that nobody talked about it.

They had spent many train rides posited across each other when they stood near the door. When the door closed, Tsukki walked over to her and put his reassuring arms around her shoulder. She dipped her head into his chest. He placed his chin on her head. They remained like this on their way back to Sendai.

The train shuffled by and the sun from the window warmed her skin. Basking in the bliss that stemmed from standing close to each other, they revelled in the contentment that had eluded them for years. The city station was fast approaching.

“You know we’ve been going back to the sub-urbs and the countryside a lot.” he murmured, eyeing the light that flickered indicating which station they were arriving next.

“It’s nice there during the summer. Not too hot.” she yawned.

“Do you really want to leave all this in maybe 2-3 years?” he asked, quietly looking out of the window.

“If my mom settles in the Kanto region or if she picks a fight with you, we can stay.” she nodded, “It’s not so bad here.”

Once she finished college, she would have lived in Miyagi for 7 years which was the longest she’s lived anywhere. She smiled. She might as well call it home.

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