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another-whump-sideblog · 2 months

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Jane's Pets Chapter 90: Hope

TWs in tags

Masterlist

"Is there something specific you want to talk about?" You ask. Fuck, it's been so long since she could choose what to talk about, at least that you've seen.

She just shrugs. "I don't know. I love you both. That's what I wish I could say the most. Besides that… I don't know."

You squeeze her hand. "I love you too."

Kitty nods in agreement. "Yeah, love you both…"

Puppy is silent for a bit. "You… you said I might hate you for not being politically active… why? I know you were homeless for most of your adult life, anyway… Hard to be involved in stuff like that when you're struggling to stay alive. And it's not like I was any kind of activist."

"...I don't know. It just feels like the bare minimum, y'know? I guess… I wish I'd been more involved in trying to help people back then. I was just only focused on myself. And not being politically active is an example of that… Sorry, it was a weird thing to say. I don't even really know what I meant, and I'm definitely not judging you for not being an activist, or anyone else. Just a thing I… I don't know. Sorry."

She hums thoughtfully. "Well, just know I would never hate you. Were you…? …nevermind."

You kinda want to know what she was going to say, but also this conversation is reallyyyyy awkward and you want it to be over. It's… nice, to have a problem as simple as this. An awkward conversation.

"I could never hate you either."

She nods. "I think… you're too hard on yourself. If you expect people to hate you over things like that."

You laugh in surprise. "Guess so. Add that to the list of things to talk about in therapy when this is all over."

She frowns. You hate that she doesn't believe this'll ever be over, but there's no point in trying to convince her. That'll have to wait until after Jane is dead.

"I'm… glad we can talk about anything." She finally says. "Even if we don't agree. When I'm allowed to talk, at least."

"Me too. Uh… I feel like there's so many things I've been wanting to ask you, but now that you actually can talk I can't think of anything." Besides questions about Jane you know she won't answer.

She nods. "Yeah, there's so many times that I want to say something and hold my tongue… but nothing is coming to mind now."

"We should just play a game or something, then. Kitty? What games do you think you're up for?"

They groan. "I don't know… I wanna play The Game of Life if you can talk, but… that requires a lot of focus…"

You're not really feeling up for The Game of Life either. "What about Crazy Eights?" That should be simple enough for you and Kitty and leave plenty of room for talking.

Puppy gives a thumbs up out of habit before remembering she can talk. "That sounds great."

Kitty nods in agreement, so the three of you play crazy eights for the next few hours, and then hang out with Puppy as she does her chores. It's so similar to how it normally is, and yet so different with Puppy joining in on the teasing each other and chatting.

This is how it should always be. They can't hope for that right now, but you can, and you will hope for them with everything you have.

-~-~

"Do you wanna know something funny?"

The girl stays perfectly still as Jane does her makeup. She's only recently been let upstairs for the first time and she doesn't want to do anything that would risk sending her back to the basement.

"My powers define death differently. Like, my immortality won't let me sleep forever, because that's considered too close to death. But I can only teleport non-living things, and wouldn't you know it, a person in a coma is considered alive! I don't get to be in a coma because I'm immortal. But someone in a coma is still too alive to be teleported. Isn’t that bullshit?”

The girl doesn’t dare move or speak. Jane hasn’t banned her from speaking yet, she just doesn’t want to know what’ll happen if she ruins the makeup. She wonders if Jane can teleport viruses, there's debate about whether or not those are alive, right? And her teleporting would remove all living bacteria, could it be used to sanatize things?

But she's not going to ask. She'll sit still and look pretty like Jane wants until she has a chance to get out.

“Drives me crazy." She mutters. "Look up, if you blink I'm gonna stab you in the eye."

The girl looks up as Jane applies eyeliner.

"You're really pretty… my little dress-up doll." She giggles.

The girl keeps looking up. Keeps being good, because eventually Jane will trust her to roam the house freely without cuts on her feet or broken ankles. Eventually, she'll be able to run. Just a bit longer. Just a bit more of this, and she'll be free.

-~-~

You think the healing spells you cast on the food in the fridge are working. You're the only one that would be able to tell, the others haven't been hurt recently, so you pay close attention to the speed of your healing. You think it's going faster.

It's been a few days since Puppy was allowed to talk, and your heart aches now that you have such a recent reminder of what Jane has taken away from her, and from you and Kitty. She should be that happy every day. She should be that free every day.

You spend a lot of time thinking about different spells and how you could make or find new ones. You feel fairly confident that if there was an already existing/known spell that could kill Jane, she would be dead, by her hand or someone else's. You have to discover the way to kill her, in your own way. You have to think of something no one's tried before. Something you have that everyone she's hurt before, including herself, didn't have.

There has to be something. There has to be. You have to have something special no one else has had before because otherwise this is going to be the rest of your life.

So that's what you spend your time thinking about, while you garden, while you play games with the others, while you go on walks and gather materials. What do you have that's special? What new spell can you make or discover that no one else before could've done?

"Kitty? Do you think I'm special?"

Kitty looks up from their coloring book (the three of you try to save the coloring books for special occasions- they can only really be used once, after all- and the special occasion today is that Kitty had a worse breakdown than normal and needed a pick-me-up). "Um… I don't know. Why?"

"Just… thinking. I've been trying to think of things that are special about me."

"...why?"

"I don't know. Sorry for bothering you."

"Hmm…" they go back to coloring. "Trying to… figure out why you're here? Even if there is something special… it doesn't help to worry about it."

"I know. I'm not worried about what made Jane pick me." You know why- you're trusting, and you were alone, and she thought it would be fun to hurt you. None of that is special.

"Okay…" Kitty frowns as they go back to coloring. Probably frustrated that they can't figure out why you're asking…

Well, Jane already knows you're trying to kill her. You can say this out loud.

"I just- lots of people have tried to kill Jane, y'know? If I want to be the one to do it, I have to have something none of those people had. I have to be special. Does that make sense?"

They nod slowly. "A little. But… it doesn't just have to be something about you. Or a specific person. Right? Cause… time keeps moving on. She's more or less given up on being able to die, or at least it seems that way from how she talks… but new things are invented every day."

Oh, you were totally right to talk to Kitty about this, even if Jane can hear your scheming. "Right! It could be something only someone in this specific time could do, not something only I can do. Hmm… If only we knew what kinds of things Jane had already tried! Or how she became immortal in the first place!"

Kitty sighs. "There's so much we don't know…" They look so, so tired.

"Don't give up hope. We're close, I just know it."

"Mmmm…"

They don't have to believe you. You'll get them out of here.

–

You wake up the next morning from a dream of forcing Jane to drink molten metal, a surprising but welcome break from your nightmares. You scheme even in your sleep. You doubt it would work, she's certain to have already tried that, but you do wonder… can she teleport things out of her body?

You add that to the list of things you want to test, right after if a body part got cut off, would she be able to reattach it or would she grow a new one? and can she heal if her entire body is destroyed at once?

You're scared to do things just to test them. If there's no chance of it killing her, you're just signing yourself (and the others) up to be tortured. But you'll never figure out how to kill her without more information…

So that makes the 'destroying her whole body' thing the most appealing. It's a test, but it also has a chance, however small, of actually killing her. So that's your plan for today.

You prepare a spell to do just that, not even bothering to wait for Jane to take someone else to the basement. You don't care if she's watching, so long as you can catch her off guard eventually. Your head is already starting to hurt.

Once the spell is prepared, you leave your room for breakfast, and-

Your hopes are immediately crushed. Jane is dragging Kitty by the hair to the basement.

You'd cast right now, but… you don't know if you're skilled enough to avoid hitting Kitty. So you just watch as Jane drags them and laughs while they cry.

"Good morning, Bunny! My Kitty needs a bit more training."

She throws them down the stairs and follows after, slamming the door behind her. Fuck

They're going to get tortured. You don't even know if they did anything, or if Jane was just bored. You need to kill Jane.

Puppy sits at the table, still muzzled, staring at the omelets she made. You need to kill Jane.

You sit down next to her. This… it's not ideal, but you can still get something out of this. Out of her being in the basement with Kitty. "Puppy. Do you trust me?"

Screaming starts up downstairs. Puppy nods slowly.

"Would you do anything for me?" You know you're being manipulative, but this can't go on any longer.

She looks at you suspiciously, but nods.

"Then I need you to tell me- If Jane's entire body was destroyed at once, would she die?"

Puppy shakes her head.

"If some kind of weapon was inside her body, would she be able to teleport it out?"

Puppy thinks for a moment, then shakes her head reluctantly. She's less willing to give you this information- probably because she's worried you'll do something stupid- but she did give it. She's not just telling you what she thinks will make you the least likely to get hurt, she's telling telling you the truth.

"If one of her limbs were chopped off, would another one grow in its place?"

She shakes her head.

"Would the limb reattach?"

She nods.

"So, her healing… it just reverses damage, right? It's not making new cells or anything."

Puppy nods. But… that doesn't feel right. When you slit her throat, the blood didn’t go back into her. And she told Barron (thinking about it at all sends a stab of pain through your chest, but you push it away) she once held open wounds until she should’ve bled out…

“But her blood is different. From her skin and stuff. More gets made, and more skin doesn’t get made.”

Puppy winces and nods hesitantly.

“I guess that could be true about any bodily fluids… but you’re reacting like blood is special. Is that important? For killing her? Knowing that her blood is different somehow?”

Puppy shrugs. She’s starting to look pretty upset… just a few more questions, then you can comfort her. Kitty screams and screams downstairs.

“So her blood is important to her immortality.”

Puppy nods.

“Do you know why she’s immortal?”

Puppy nods again, looking more distressed. You’re… not sure where to go from here with yes or no questions.

“Okay. I’m done. Sorry for upsetting you.” You pull her into a hug, and she practically melts. “I’m sorry. Thank you for trusting me, and helping me. I know you can’t believe me, but… I’m going to end this. We’re getting out of here.”

She doesn’t respond, of course. That’s okay- well, it’s not, but it’s going to be. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else, or if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list!

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @thecosmicmap @quins-whump-stuff

@fuckcapitalismasshole

#whump #whump writing #whumpblr #intimate whumper #creepy whumper #nonhuman whumper #multiple whumpees #pet whump #whumpee #whumper #whump caretaker #3rd person pov #2nd person pov #torture mention tw #implied drugging tw #jane’s pets

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victoria--ft-9801 · 20 days

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Just a list... mess? Jumble? of thoughts on the happenings in The Bad Batch lately. Spoilers from TBB episode 11 season 3 and stuff up to then. They're mostly about Crosshair, but anyone who wants to talk about anything else is fine, too.

>So one of my cousins told me that he thought Crosshair was "Faking his hands shaking because he's still loyal to the empire." And "It was his choice from the beginning. His chip never worked, just like his brothers didn't."

...that's not true... right? Like, this

Is too acute of a tremor to be faked, and he didn't miss the shot because they were shaking. He missed because the ship accelerated, and he didn't have enough time to take aim. See?

Guys, please tell me this isn't true. Please, please, tell me it's not true.

And we only have 4 more episodes! How much more can go wrong for these guys?!

The facts just don't add up. If Crosshair wanted Omega captured for the empire, he wouldn't have helped her escape at the beginning of the season. I mean, I'm not super pick-apart-every-detail, but as far as I know, there hasn't been anything hinting toward him being fake.

>On a different note, I saw a post a while back, pointing out the potential significance of Crosshair being the only Bad Batch member with the same armor they wore in season one. I've run dry of ideas/theories, but does anyone have a guess as to why/its significance?

>I've heard many theories about CX-9 (I think that's the name, at least) and how he might be Tech, or Cody, etc... and by far my favorite... or least favorite thing I've seen basically pointed out that if CX-9 is Tech, Tech has destroyed his home, the Maurauder, almost killed Crosshair, hurt Wrecker, helped the empire capture Omega, and hunt his brothers. This is sad, but... if CX-9 is Tech, it's not the Tech we know.

> Finally, I think we all agree Hemlock should die, and regardless of whether or not Disney decides to show it, how do you want him to die? Should one of his experiments (either human or of other nature) go AWOL and kill him? Should Hunter or another. Member of The Bad Batch kill him? Should Emerie have a Crosshair moment and shoot him because he's being cold and mean? Tell me what you think- actually, maybe I'll make a poll. Give me what you think so I have stuff to make a Poll with!

>If anyone has any theories, I'd love to hear/discuss them because I'm into that kinda stuff. No matter how crazy or abstract.

(PS: This was my first time posting, so let me know how I did and how I can be... better, I guess?)

#bad batch #the bad batch theories #idk I suck at tags

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pesterloglog · 2 months

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Karkat Vantas, John Egbert

Page 365-375

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

JOHN: karkat?

JOHN: what are you doing here?

KARKAT: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

KARKAT: JOHN, YOU MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED, BUT I AM THE LEADER OF AN ARMY. MY PLACE IS ON THE BATTLEFIELD.

JOHN: i suppose that is true, but that doesn't answer my question!

JOHN: this isn't a battlefield, it's just...

KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME.

JOHN: well, yeah.

KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT.

JOHN: oh all right, fine.

JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that.

JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN.

KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY.

KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING.

KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION?

KARKAT: IF YOU HADN'T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING.

JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat.

JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed.

JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH.

JOHN: huh?

KARKAT: YOU KNOW.

KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING.

JOHN: my shoosh thing.

KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING.

KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS??

KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB???

JOHN: uh.

KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!!

JOHN: oh right, that.

JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe.

JOHN: i don't think there's anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though.

KARKAT: THAT'S FAIR.

JOHN: i suppose i'll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.

JOHN: so...

JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball?

KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START.

KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP.

KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT.

JOHN: ...right.

KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY?

KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT?

KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT?

KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS!

KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

JOHN: well, when you put it like that...

JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh.

KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN.

KARKAT: FRANKLY I'M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION.

KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING "PRANKED" BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.

KARKAT: ANYWAY, THE RESCUE ATTEMPT.

KARKAT: THIS IS THE ONLY POINT WHERE ANY SEMBLANCE OF GOOD NEWS COMES INTO PLAY, SO SAVOR IT.

JOHN: okay.

KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN'T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION.

KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE.

KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE'S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.

JOHN: oh wow, haha.

JOHN: i knew she'd be a bit of a character, being rose and jade's daughter and all...

JOHN: but that's impressive!

JOHN: it sounds like she'd be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then.

KARKAT: SHE'S A CHILD, YOU MORON.

KARKAT: OH, AND SPEAKING OF WHICH.

KARKAT: PAUSING BRIEFLY TO NOTE IN ADVANCE HOW MUCH I LOATHE THE FACT THAT THIS IS AN EVENTUALITY THAT THE UNIVERSE HAS *ONCE AGAIN* SEEN FIT TO CURSE US WITH:

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL.

JOHN: shit.

KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED.

JOHN: shiiiiiiiit.

KARKAT: YEAH.

KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY!

KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO.

JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

KARKAT: HAVING SAID THAT, THIS WAS THE ONE THING UP CROCKER'S SLEEVE YOU COULD BE EXCUSED FROM NOT HAVING SEEN COMING.

KARKAT: I GUESS BECAUSE, ON THE FACE OF IT, IT'S JUST TOTALLY FUCKING BANANAS!

KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN.

KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE.

KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.

KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

JOHN: wait.

JOHN: wait a minute.

JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right?

KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE.

JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment.

JOHN: how is that even possible?

JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers?

JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her.

KARKAT: YOU'VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.

KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER'S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME.

KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR.

KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T!

KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL.

KARKAT: THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES.

JOHN: jeez.

JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn't i.

KARKAT: I'M RELIEVED TO SEE THAT YOUR GRASP OF THAT FACT IS PRETTY GOOD AT LEAST.

JOHN: ):

KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES,

KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT?

JOHN: i... hm.

JOHN: i don't really know?

JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat.

JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot...

KARKAT: A LOT WHAT?

JOHN: a lot funnier.

KARKAT: FUNNIER.

JOHN: how to put this.

JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny!

JOHN: but now it's just not the same.

JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know.

JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something.

JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other?

JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole.

JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn't know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it.

JOHN: but now it's like... the only one who's still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don't understand.

JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful!

JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again.

JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it...

JOHN: it's hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before.

JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.

JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something.

KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.

JOHN: oh. okay.

KARKAT: IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN.

KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL.

KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL.

KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH:

KARKAT: DRAWING A SHITTY PICTURE WITH "THE ULTIMATE PLAN" AT THE TOP AND A BUNCH OF ARROWS DOES NOT, AND TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE HAS NEVER, CONSTITUTED AN ACTIONABLE PLAN.

KARKAT: DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS CRITICISM WITH ANOTHER MISERABLE EXPRESSION, I AM BEGGING YOU.

JOHN: okay ):

KARKAT: LOOK.

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.

KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE.

KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE.

KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE.

JOHN: well... all right. if you say so karkat.

KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME.

KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO.

JOHN: wait, hold on.

KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.

JOHN: you can't be leaving already.

JOHN: there's... so much we still need to talk about!

KARKAT: OF COURSE I'M SHITTING LEAVING.

KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS??

KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT.

JOHN: no, that's not what i'm talking about at all.

JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*!

KARKAT: ABOUT ME?

JOHN: yes.

KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*?

JOHN: about you.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME.

JOHN: well...

JOHN: you know, how you feel!

KARKAT: HOW I FEEL.

JOHN: or just...

JOHN: argh, i don't know!

JOHN: it's just been so long since we've seen each other.

JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn't feel right to just not even mention any of it!

KARKAT: LIKE WHAT??

JOHN: oh, i don't know karkat, literally anything!

JOHN: i mean, look at you.

JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn't something to discuss there.

JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don't have to talk about the eyepatch.

JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands?

JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through.

JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy?

JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal??

JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing!

JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?

JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn't mean that much to you.

KARKAT: JOHN.

JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave.

JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave.

KARKAT: JOHN.

KARKAT: FUCKING HELL!

KARKAT: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE.

JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat.

JOHN: we need to talk about dave!

KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!!

KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION.

JOHN: oh come on.

JOHN: there's no way you aren't feeling kind of messed up about him, right?

JOHN: i know i am.

JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two...

JOHN: especially now that he's...

JOHN: ugh, i'm sorry. i'm SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn't even begin to cover it.

JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad.

JOHN: all i'm trying to say is...

JOHN: it's not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them.

JOHN: even if you aren't feeling anything right now, and i don't for a moment believe that's true, *i* need to talk about dave!

JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment.

KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.

KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE.

KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY "FEELINGS" ABOUT DAVE.

JOHN: okay.

JOHN: thank you.

KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION??

KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.

KARKAT: *DEEP BREATH*

KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE?

KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!!

KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!!

KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION.

KARKAT: I'VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE!

JOHN: wait, karkat, that's not what i

KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING!

KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*!

KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM.

KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS!

KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE??

JOHN: um.

KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER!

JOHN: (oh shit.)

KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT!

KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME!

KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever

KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way

KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other

JOHN: (oh god. you don't...)

KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!

KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN?

KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE??

KARKAT: WELL WHY DON'T WE TRY IT THEN.

KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!

JOHN: (oh my god...)

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL!

JOHN: ):

KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!!

KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS "PAUSE" ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS.

KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME!

KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!!

KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!!

KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN'T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL!

KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT'S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN'T DEAD.

JOHN: ))))):

KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C'S BULLSHIT HISTORY.

KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT!

KARKAT: DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T!!

KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!!

JOHN: KARKAT!!!!

JOHN: ugh, fuck, this is just too much!

JOHN: i thought you KNEW!

KARKAT: KNEW WHAT???

JOHN: dave's GONE, karkat!

JOHN: he's...

JOHN: he's dead.

JOHN: i didn't mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought...

JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already!

JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next...

JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn't make any sense that he's dead, but he is.

JOHN: he is dead and he's not coming back.

KARKAT:

JOHN: talk to me karkat, please.

JOHN: please talk to me karkat.

KARKAT:

KARKAT: HE...

KARKAT: HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE?

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #karkat vantas #john egbert #homestuck^2 act 1 #page 365 #page 366 #page 367 #page 368 #page 369 #page 370 #page 371 #page 372 #page 373 #page 374 #page 375

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moku-youbi · 8 months

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Ahhhh I love your writing so much. Loved the newest chapter!!! Full on end of the world slow burn romance! I love unconventional soulmates.

Have you ever seen haunting of hill house? I’m thinking the dysfunctional family unit, seeing ghosts and not being believed might really work with the umbrellas?

Yay, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I too adore the soulmates that, from the outside, seem to make no sense, where everyone else wonders why they would be together, but who compliment one another so perfectly. It hurts what they've both gone through, and I wanted to try to find a way to fix it, but I gotta admit, it's a real challenge with them having this big age gap (I mean...I guess they do in canon, too, but at least in that situation Klaus is firmly in his 30s...), but still, if Five had is way, it would not be as slow, lmao.

I *love* Haunting of Hill House (and the book, and the other shows in the series) and actually I thought the same thing when I did a recent rewatch. The atmosphere would be perfect for the Umbrellas. I had a vague thought of Ben and Klaus taking the role of the twins, which of course leads poor Ben to dying. (I could actually see Klaus as being Theo *and* Luke tbh, because I love the extra drama of him not being able to touch--that's something I love to toy with, the idea of there being one person you can touch. Plus Klaus losing himself in drugs to stop seeing the ghosts, and sleeping with anything with a pulse to try to feel something good, maximum pain. And I totally see Luther and Viktor as different aspects of Steve. Like both of them completely denying what happened to them as kids, Viktor still writing the book making everyone else look like they're crazy. Allison has Shirl vibes fr. IDK about Diego or Five.

I also sorta dreamed up what the Red Room would be for each of them. Like a gym for both Luther and Diego, but probably different sorts of equipment--like more typical strength machines/treadmill for Luther, where as for Diego it's more of a parkor/ninja obstacle course type thing. For Allison it's like a dressing room, with wardrobes full of gorgeous clothing and a vanity full of makeup, and all this jewellery. Klaus finds an wine cellar or rec room with a wet bar. Five has a study/lab. Ben has a library, but with decidedly different books, with a comfy window seat to curl up in. Viktor has a practice room full of instruments with perfect acoustics. Sometimes it's a shared space, like Luther and Allison's 'tent' in the 'conservatory.' (OMG, my wife just suggested Griddy's is the Red Room, too, ugh)

I would say I'd add it to my list, but OMG, the fics I plan on writing, I can't even. I've been meaning to post a list of all the fics I'm working on/have outlined/want to write someday for Klive. It's insane. Thought about taking a poll to see what people would be most interested in seeing next, but I'm not sure there'd be many people voting lol. Maybe I'll put it up anyway! But at any rate, I'm pretty focussed on the Bomb series at the moment.

Thanks so much for letting me know how you're enjoying the fic. I really appreciate it.

#klive #my fic

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ashes-writing · 2 years

Note

Could I get MJF headcanons please? 🙏

Oh my goodness, certainly! Thank you so so so so much for sending me this. You didn't really specify what type of headcanons and whew.. These kinda got away from me a little bit maybe?

They're not x rated. Just a lil spicy. A little food for thought if you will.

Warnings: ah.. if i remember correctly, because I wrote these while half asleep... there's not really anything in here that needs mentioning.

Tag List : ahh, well.. There's really not anyone on my taglist for anything I write just now because I kinda just made it. But if you wanna be tagged, please add your name [ here ]

[ my inbox is still open. I write for so many fandoms.. so many it's ridiculous... Headcanon asks only for now, any characters I have listed on my PSA -or if you wanna know if I'll attempt them ask me, and I'll close the box when I've chosen all five that I'm doing this round. this has been fun! ]

I do not consent for my work to be reposted -or plagarized, elsewhere.

✯ He’s probably going to insult you. It might be on accident, it might be on purpose. The reason for this is simple. He likes you and it really bothers him. I mean… it really, really, really bothers him. Maxwell isn’t the kind of guy who really notices a person right off the bat, so if/when he notices you and can’t get you out of his head, it’ll drive the poor bastard insane. This will lead to confrontations in confined spaces, your friends telling you both collectively to just get a fuckin room already and placing bets behind your backs about how long it’s going to take until you finally ‘get a room.’.

✯ “Bite me.” “Is that a challenge?” - yeah, there’s a lot of that thrown back and forth too. The kicker to this is that when you’re insulting / roasting each other, it comes across as flirting. There’s a lot of staring at his lips or his biceps or the way that forest green shirt brings out the multitude of browns in his eyes and on his end there’s a lot of trying to restrain himself when you do that little thing where you pinch and rub the bridge of your nose because he’s got you so damn annoyed it’s bordering on a migraine. Or the way he towers over you, which.. For him to not be a very tall guy, I very much feel that he’s probably drawn to shorter people because he wants to feel like the bigger one, the stronger one, but anyway, where was I? Oh.. Oh yeah.. There’s also a lot of touching. Like he’ll step closer to you, sufficiently blocking off any path you might have to retreat. His hands will stop shy of grabbing hold of your hips to pull you in closer several times and this manifests itself in tightly clenched fists. He once clenched his fists so damn tight while you two were having a confrontation that he left imprints from his nails on the palms of his hands.

✯ He loves to make you angry because your cheeks darken and your nostrils flare and you get this little attitude.. It’s like.. You’re making yourself every bit as tall as you can, you’re looking him dead in the eyes. You’d think he likes a person he can intimidate, right? You’d be wrong. Totally wrong. Holy shit you’d be wrong.

✯ Let’s switch it up a little, shall we? Just because he’s the first to antagonize you, this in no way means that he’s going to stand back and let anybody else do it. If someone is trying to come up on you or they’re being shitty to you, he’ll appear out of nowhere as if summoned by the patron saint of assholes themselves, that cocky smirk on his face as he stands behind you and waits on his chance to insert himself. - Note.. this has led to fights. So many fights. Bby is a grumpy personification of the fight me emoji and we all know that every now and then, he bites off so much more than he can chew.

✯ “I had that, asshole.” & “But did you really? Because it didn’t fucking look like it to me.” - the exchange happens nearly every single time he inserts himself into whatever craziness you’ve been dragged into. You don’t really know why he gets himself so bent out of shape over something you were going to handle yourself but secretly, it gets you just a little hot… watching the way he would quite literally take on the meanest motherfucker around to defend you, who he makes it so painfully clear he hates. Or this is what you’ve come to think.

✯ Try not to imagine him jealous. Or don’t. But it’ll look a little something like this. His hips against yours and his hand beside your head, leaving you literally nowhere to go. He’s fuming, his chest is heaving with each angry breath he takes and he’s ranting as if he has some kind of primal claim over your ass. When you laugh, oh no. Oh no no no no no… Anger flashes in those brown eyes, darkening them. Gonna go out on a limb and say it. If you haven’t figured out why he does the shit / is the way he is towards you, try flirting and living your life. It’ll make him snap and when he snaps, holyyyy shiiiit… The hand beside your head rests rough against your cheek as he drags his thumb across your lips. The kiss that follows is angry. It’s messy and mean and full of biting, sucking and the angry gnashing of teeth as your mouths meet again and again. And then again, because when you finally shove him away so you can at least attempt to process, he grabs your face and crashes his mouth against your mouth all over again. So yeah… If you want him to crack like an egg, make him jealous. Either intentionally or not.

✯ Once you’re finally past all this, – it’s about damn time, if you thought he was protective and borderline territorial before, whew… People aren’t even allowed to breathe in your presence and have him find out about it. If he even thinks this is happening, he will appear as if summoned and waste zero time showing whoever happens to be intruding / encroaching your bubble exactly who he belongs to. Yeah.. Dude is territorial as hell.

✯ His jealousy -and his ego, they both stem from this strong undercurrent of him being one hell of a lot less self confident than he carries himself to be. His whole attitude is a defense mechanism.

✯ He is also surprisingly romantic.. After a few little arguments and you finally convincing the bastard you’re not going anywhere, it’s like this whole other side of the man opens up. Privately, of course. He’s been known to have your favorite chocolates, Midol and whatever else you need on hand at any given moments.

✯ He loves, loves loves to gift you jewelry. But what he loves more than this is to look up at you or catch your reflection in the mirror when you’re doing the deed / riding him and watch the way the light catches on the jewelry, especially if it’s a necklace.

✯ He’s not so much into full on PDA as he is smaller and more reserved gestures. He’s also not the biggest fan of putting every second of your private lives out there for the world to see on Instagram, but he has been known to indulge you every now and then and that bio damn sure reads TAKEN AF or some form. With him it’s more or less the smaller and more intimate things that mean the most. It’s the covert ass grabs or the way he leads you into a room with his hand on the small of your back. The way he’ll always be lingering close by even if you’re not always holding hands or finding private corners in crowded areas every few seconds.

I hope you enjoy these. I had a blast writing them, to be honest. I haven’t thought about/watched or written wrestling in quite a few months.

#le asks #mjf #maxwell jacob friedman #my headcanons ; mjf #my writing ; mjf #so this is me.. attempting to get back into the flow of creativity.#i really hope these work for you.

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paunchsalazar · 2 years

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I like writing my journal and my class notes by hand. I don't have preferences for paper as long as it's not that overly smooth paper that is hard to write in. My favorite pen is the Pilot G-Tec-C4 (i swear this is not sponsored) because it's a perfect mix of looking smooth and not taking too long to dry and it generally feels good to write with.

I tend to go for thin pens (and mechanical pencils). 0.5mm is what i usually use, but once i got a very cheap 0.2mm mechanical pencil and i figured i would break the lead really often. Luckily once i got the hang of it, it was harder to break the lead of that one than of my 0.5mm mechanical pencil. I'm still trying to find more leads for it because once i ran out of them turns out 0.2mm leads are hard to find!

When i write fic though i write it all in the computer because i like the feel and the sound of the keys when i get really into it and type fast. I like changing up my fonts once in a while to help bring variety to my writing. I like using templates for books and go through pinterest to search photos for the cover that no one else will see.

My process for writing fic is very messy. I usually begin with a skeleton of excerpts i want to include. I add ideas as they occur to me, and i try to place them in the timeline of the fic as it makes best sense to me in the moment. I begin writing in chronological order once i have a few ideas in the skeleton, and i might continue to add to the skeleton as i write out the first parts.

Once i'm done (if i'm ever done) i begin editing, which is the overwhelming part. I usually realize that i need to rewrite some parts, edit out scenes and write in new ones. But often i also realize that it would be better if i rearranged the order of my scenes, so i often feel like i'm pulling out scissors from my pocket and cutting fabric into pieces only to try to sew it together again. Sometimes i picture myself sitting on the floor with mismatched pieces of fabric around me and i can't make sense of anything as i think 'what have i done'. But it usually works.

(Sorry this is too long, i just got excited about the questions. Also thank you for introducing me to kyokao, i had never thought about it before but once i did. Once i did i cannot unthink it. They make so much sense. It's been living in my mind for weeks. Might end up writing for them at this rate)

omg thank you so much for answering!!!! im sorry it took a bit to reply!

love favorite pens heehee I always have the same Uniball rollerballs for writing and Pentel sign pen for sketching. Such a difference in feel between the tiniest change in size!!!

yes yes!!! I love to know people’s thoughts on fonts! Personally I always use Garamond for the like intended-to-be-used prose, dialogue or a passage etc. and some other font (usually a sans serif) for notes and like - SETTING - beat - should do this - or action notes like (she sits, opens to the page) kinda script style.

I loved the way you describe putting together pieces of fabric!!! also this was not too long at all please I love to hear (read) it all!!! thank you!

(also oh my goodness… welcome to our ranks. I was blind but now I see and somehow it makes so much sense to me… I’m so so glad anyone out there agrees though of course no one is ever obligated to!

there’s all the business during the sports festival and later volumes but I think it especially could work looking back at the scene where they look at the others having fun after the Karuizawa mess and Kyoya asks about Kaoru’s strategy, paraphrasing but: “what your plan worked worked too well and they actually fell in love?” “Oh, it’s too soon for that.”

potential energy… I think it doesn’t have to happen but it could!! perhaps it’s too soon! maybe it’ll take a while!! but who knows… they said it themselves their club is full of dummies!

I have a crazy bullet point into chronological order beat list doc that could be a fic or them if I was smart enough to fully realize it….. maybe!! maybe.. but to do it right would take sooooooo long! slow burns can be magic but they take so much work! and in proper Ouran fashion I think every small thing is an epiphany for these guys lol)

#SORRY I CANT SHUT UP IM INCAPABLE OF BEING CONCISE THANK YOU FOR SHARING SERIOUSLY ITS SO EXCITING!!!

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anitabyars · 3 months

Text

My Anti-Hero by Tijan is now live!

I shouldn’t have agreed to this. What was I thinking?

Appearing on a local news show? Just because something happened to me?

I live mostly in isolation on purpose.

But here I am.

I was so nervous that I needed the make-up chair, twice.

And then I walked past his room.

He’s a giant—no softness, all muscle.

And a rich beard that made me want to rub myself all over it.

He made me see stars, literally because the second time I saw him, I tripped.

Or I would’ve, but he caught me, and the cameras were rolling.

Soon, that clip will be trending because he wasn’t just another guest on the show.

He’s Brett Broudou, the Kings’ newest football star.

We couldn’t be more opposite.

The only special thing about me is the reason I was on the show.

Brett, the Super Bowl champion, and me, the survivor who helped bring down the infamous Midwest Butcher.

Brett might not think he’s anyone’s hero, but he’s about to become mine.

A/N: This is a 140k standalone.

Download today or read FREE in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/4866bsr

Amazon CA: https://amzn.to/499gX2n

Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/42s3EHV

Amazon AU: https://amzn.to/3SOGIzd

Amazon Paperback: https://bit.ly/48y6363

Amazon Special Edition Paperback: https://bit.ly/3vF2pJ7

Barnes & Noble Paperback: https://bit.ly/428BcKT

Audible: https://adbl.co/3SwbifE

Narrated by: Andi Arndt & Teddy Hamilton

Add to Goodreads: https://bit.ly/47e1zjE

My Review

5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow…this story is so much more than anything I could have ever imagined and it is a perfect example why this author is at the top of my auto-buy list. This story is unique, edgy, intense, sexy, and full of suspense and emotions that kept me glued to the pages! This author had me Spellbound with her powerful story telling. Capturing my mind, body and soul and taking me on this phenomenal journey that stayed with me long after I put this book down.

This Is Willow “Billie” Harm and Brett Broudou’s story and I LOVED IT!

Everyone knew Willow Harm’s tragic past. The only survivor of the infamous Midwest Butcher serial killer, when at the age of twelve she watched a family get murdered and helped put the serial killer behind bars. She has been in the spotlight ever since, whenever the anniversary of the slayings came around or when there was anything about the Midwest Butcher serial killer in the news. But after finally agreeing to appear on a news show for the first time on her own terms who does she run into? Brett Broudou, the newest Kings football star.

“ The guy, whoever he was, had me seeing stars. And I wasn’t like this. Ever.”

Brett Broudou was at the news studio doing an interview and PR for a Charity that he was invested in, when he literally catches the girl of his dreams. A girl he never expected! A girl with some very heavy baggage!

“I’m more me with you than I am with anyone else.”

This story had my full attention and I could not put it down. I loved watching these two scarred characters come together. I loved Brett’s pursuit of Billie since he seemed so out of his element. Brett finally brought the love and protection that Billie always needed. These two are absolutely perfect together! They understand one another! They build each other up! Their two broken pieces become whole together. So much passion and emotion in this story. My Anti-Hero is a true masterpiece, with thrilling suspense, crazy, sizzling chemistry and writing so truly amazing that it will stay with you long after you put this book down. As well as an ending that is… Epic!

I received an early copy of and this is my honest review.

#newrelease #valentine pr #tijansbooks #tijan #myantihero #kindle unlimited #spreadsomemyantihero

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chaosbled · 1 year

Text

@ofpowr asked: “ you almost died. ”

This was probably the worst Chuuya had ever come out of releasing Arahabaki, with the notable exception of the first time he'd unleashed it of his own volition in that devastating battle against his unhinged older brother's own corrupted form, Guivre. Of course, he was hearing about the damage second hand, because he was perfectly fine now aside from general fatigue & a small fever, thanks in no small part to Dazai's coworker, Yosano-sensei. It wasn't anyone's fault, Chuuya was well aware of how dangerous it was going in... the weather manipulating Gifted who'd attacked the city a few days prior was completely insane. Once it became clear they were dealing with an exceptionally powerful Ability user, who had summoned a Category 5 hurricane that was big enough to wipe out Yokohama & probably most of the Kanagawa prefecture, he knew he'd need to use Corruption.

Killing the bastard had been easy, he hadn't even needed his full strength to do it. The problem came upon the realization that the storm wasn't stopping after he died. Detective Sherlock or whatever his name was had rather calmly stated that the storm was too powerful to hope it would fizzle out on its own, they needed something that could break through the wall of the storm, get into the eye of it & dismantle it from within — in other words, a high energy Ability based in the realm of physics. The look on everyone's face said, quite clearly, how insane they thought that plan was, & Chuuya was right there with them... yet no one else had any other ideas on how to stop it. Suffice to say, it was up to him. He was honest enough to admit he was selfish, sometimes.

But not enough to scoff at the destruction of his own city, or the lives of nine million people. That said... he could probably add hurricanes to the ever-growing list of things that now sent chills down his spine, as if he already didn't hate being in deep bodies of water. Fuck's sake, that was just what he needed, more PTSD. As per usual, Chuuya couldn't actually remember anything that happened after he activated Corruption. It was like a blanket of darkness washing over him. The last thing he remembered was waking up on a boat, laying in Dazai's arms, which would have been nice if he hadn't been soaked to the bone & in complete agony, the taste of slick blood coating his throat, filling his lungs. According to eyewitnesses, he'd apparently said 'fuck the weather', vomited about half of his remaining total blood volume, & promptly gone into cardiac arrest. Fun.

❝ Been there, done that, got the tedious discharge paperwork to prove it. ❞ The redhead quipped with a weak grin as he laid in the hospital bed, which normally he would hate, but he felt at ease knowing Dazai was present to advocate for him if his coworker tried to do anything he wouldn't approve of. He'd always thought her batshit crazy schtick made her a bit intimidating, & he had a strained relationship with anything medically related from the start.

The almost haunted look on Dazai's face made the mafioso wince at himself, & he sighed, ❝ Close the door & c'mere. ❞ he instructed, beckoning with his fingertips for the brunet to get closer. As soon as he was within arm's reach, Chuuya grabbed Dazai by the coat & yanked him onto the bed, One hand immediately reached for his hip, the other running through his hair in a soothing manner. ❝ I'm fine, sweetheart. I might not ever willingly step foot near the beach again in this lifetime, but I'm okay, See? ❞ He took the detective by the hand & brought it up to his chest, pressing against the center-left, through his shirt, letting his partner feel the strong & steady beat of his heart. ❝ Practically good as new, thanks to your terrifying doctor colleague. I just need a few days, I promise. ❞ he turned his head as best he could & pressed a kiss to the younger's lips, gently.

❝ Sleep up here with me, tonight. It can't be any more uncomfortable than that shitty bed & singular pillow in your dorm room. Then you can see for yourself I'm alright, sound good? ❞

#Injury //#Blood //#ANSWERED || Gilded Letter Opener { Chuuya }#VERSE III | All The King’s Horses All The King’s Men Couldn’t Put Me Together Again { MAIN }#emetophobia //#{ not really it's just blood but it includes the 'v' word so just in case. }#ofpowr #S; Circle Me & The Needle Moves Gracefully Back & Forth / If My Heart Was A Compass You’d Be North { Chuuya & Dazai / nonhumen }

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livinwithlu · 1 year

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Get to know me!

First off, I want to say that I am super excited to have a platform where I can anonymously talk, vent, or talk about my life without people getting in my business. I don't know about anyone else but that is a huge relief. I also get to tell stories about things that happen in my life, for your guy's entertainment, and trust me you're going to want to hear some of the crazy stuff that goes on. Let me tell you a bit about myself:)

First, I am staying anonymous but for the time being you can call me Lu. I am a high school student in the town I've grown up in. I don't technically do any sports anymore; however, I am involved in cheer which I have been doing since the ripe years of middle school (and boy do I have stories about that). And I have a pretty close circle of friends, not a ton (or at least real ones lol) and I'll tell you a little about them now. First, we have my two closest friends, Hallie and Kylie. I know both of them from school. I met Kylie freshman year of high school and Hallie this year, also known as sophomore year. They're both great friends and honestly not much happens between me and Hallie. I mean we are best friends so pretty much any of the drama we talk about is about other people. Kylie however has a lot of drama in her life and unfortunately for me she involves me in it.

You don't have to read all of it if you don't want to but here are some questions that sum me up pretty well ;)

What are your hobbies? Cheer, painting, art

Do you collect anything? can tabs ( LOL)

What are you passionate about? Not being underestimated

What is your most prized possession? My phone

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? dont have one

What is on your bucket list? I haven't made on I should :)

What is your favorite recent memory? Dollywood trip

What is your best childhood memory? can't remember

What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

Who knows you best? Hallie

What family member are you closest to? My mom's mom

What skill would you most like to learn? Sign Language

Where is the coolest place you traveled? Montana

What does your average weekend look like? Sat- sleep all day maybe do something Sun- church and nap

Tell me about your longest running friendship with someone? My friendship with Layla. We have been friends for 15 yrs because our dads grew up together

What is your earliest memory? Going to Pumpkin patch for my sister's birthday

What makes you unique? I am Legally Blind

Who is your hero? don't have one

Who is the smartest person you ever met? My friend Liam

What is one thing that instantly makes your day better? a compliment

When did you first feel like an adult? When I opened my first bank account

Whose opinion do you care most about? My parents

What is the most important decision you have ever made so far? The decision to go on an important trip

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My phone- I'm going to try it tho

What do you enjoy spending money on? Myself, and clothes

What is something that always makes you smile? Compliments

What are you most thankful for? My friends

What are you most looking forward to? MOVING OUT

What do you wish more people understand about you? That I'm not mean just hurting ;(

What is the greatest challenge or struggle you have ever faced? Gaining my self-esteem after losing like 40 lbs.

What is the biggest risk you ever took? I don't take risks, I should do it more often

Ok well there is some very interesting things, I might not be interesting, but my life definitely is. I'll be adding journal entries in the morning night plus at some point I might add a story from my wheel:)

#high school #drama #nicetomeetyou #itsalot

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sport9s · 2 years

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

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The Brothers Have Been Multiplied!!!

Lucifer

Look. In his day-to-day life, Lucifer has always had to struggle with being one of, if not the only, capable person in the room. His brothers don't always try to help him and even if they do their help may just make things worse…

So this should be a dream come true right? Not only does he have competent help, they'll all also himself! Who better to trust his more difficult tasks to, right? Right??

Well… wrong. Unfortunately for as much as Lucifer is, there is one thing Lucifer and his clones just aren't… Good minions.

Complain as he might about his brothers, they know who's in charge. As it turns out five Lucifers in a room can only screw in a lightbulb after they agree on who's giving the orders and being the "original" means nothing at all!

Poor MC gets saddled with mediating the most confusing squabbles in their life between Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer, and OG Lucifer (the name dubbed to him by Levi)

So aside from this being a trainwreck for anyone not named Diavolo (who's thrilled to have so many Lucifers to talk to!), it's also a headache for himself too!

The next week is spent with Lucifer literally arguing with himself over who's doing what while the brothers all cower in their rooms to keep from incurring their wrath… Five angry Lucifers is a sentence for certain death, somebody hide Mammon…

Mammon

Lucifer's worst nightmare has been realized… Not only does he live in a world with one Mammon, now there's five! Five!!! Five Mammons!! The world isn't ready for this, no one is!

Of course, a pack of Mammons absolutely get into as much trouble as you think they would. The moment he realized there was more of him, the secondborn was already scheming up what kind of ploys he could pull off with five of himself...

Barbatos is upping the Castle security as we speak...

To his credit, you can't say that the Mammon-squad doesn't have hustle either. It may be either a blessing or a curse to go to five different stores and see a Mammon working there all at the same time, depending on your preference.

(Unfortunately for the brother and anyone with pickpocket-able wallets, it's mostly a curse).

Honestly, the biggest downside for poor MC is that they're all. so. clingy!!

If the MC wants even a minute to themselves, they'll be swatting away Mammon's like a swarm of mosquitos! Better learn an invisibility spell quick, or else their greedy companions will never, ever leave…

Leviathan

Holy cow, it's a gamer's dream come true!! Screw underwhelming AI and goodbye unreliable party members, he has all the team he needs right here!! They should go national or even pro!!!

Ah yes, Levi was truly elated for like, a couple days over this development. Why shouldn't he be? Having a whole herd of himself was a blast!

They're all great at gaming, they like the same things, they dislike the same stuff, and (most importantly) he's not any better or worse than any one of them! There’s nothing to get jealous over, right?

Well slap a big fat wrong on that because there's one thing to always get jealous over and their name is MC!

MC could come home from class one day to find five Levi's all wanting them to do five different things and NO THEY'RE NOT SHARING-

Unfortunately for Levi, the poor guy is so prone to jealousy that he can't even cope with it when he's jealous of himself…

It is at least a little entertaining to watch a pile of otakus fight themselves, it's kind of like watching a deadly game of high-stakes LARP-ing. Just less imaginary spells and more giant sea monsters popping out of nowhere… Someone grab some sponges…

Satan

Which is more likely to rule the world, one Solomon or five Satans...?

Having five Satans around is kind of terrifying… Just one can scheme up a storm and cause a lot of damage so add on four others and you got a recipe for a bad time…

If you're Lucifer, anyway.

In truth, the band of Satans are all about as independent as their original counterpart, so they don't often do things together as a group.

This can create a lot of deja vu scenarios where the MC will swear they've already passed by a Satan in the hallway… like three times.

Unfortunately they also get the urge for affection around the same time, so the MC may go a whole day without seeing them then suddenly get surrounded by needy and bickering Satans at all sides...

When the pack does work together, however, they're a well-oiled machine. Capable, logical, practical: basically everything the Lucfier-squad wish they could be without all the pesky pride in the way!

… until someone ticks them off and they become their own angry mob, but hey, still better than a pack of Mammons.

Asmodeus

… We all know an orgy is happening right? Like, it may not be the first thing he thinks of, but it's on the list. He'd never pass up the chance to selfcest when possible. Never.

That being said, the Asmos actually get sick of each other surprisingly quickly… Only a few days in and they'll be squabbling like crazy!

Why you might ask? Well not for any particular character flaw or anything - it actually boils down to the clothes… and makeup… and face… and attitude... and-

Basically, how in Diavolo's Hell is he supposed to stand out as the world's most singularly beautiful creature if there are FOUR OTHERS that keep stealing his style?? It's a nightmare!!

It didn't take long for the Asmos to start trying to find their own, completely distinct identities like Goth Asmo, Sporty Asmo, Hipster Asmo, etc… All claiming to be WAY better than the original, of course.

As entertaining as it may be to see a bunch of Asmos go through an identity crisis, he wants them GONE and he wants them gone NOW!! He's blowing up Solomon's phone every hour of the day until it gets fixed so better sit tight for a while…

Beelzebub

You know, this is actually one of those, "Worst Case Scenarios" that Lucifer and Dia drew up shortly after they had their Fall: what does one do with five Beels exactly...?

You can't possibly feed them all, at least not all at once… and letting any one get too hungry is asking for trouble.

Do you let them run through the city streets and chomp up its citizens like a game of Pacman? Scatter them to other realms and hope that they don't do a ton of damage? Pit them against each other in "There-Can-Only-Be-One"-style gladiatorial combat??

Well… there isn't really a good solution. Food is still a finite resource but the Beels TRY to be understanding and TRY not to push their luck at mealtime...

It has varying degrees of success, but hey, it's sweet that they're even trying...

Aside from the ever-present threat of being eaten out of House and realm, everybody kind of likes having so many Beels around. They're easy-going and helpful, which generally makes life easier for everyone and like… it's Beel. Who doesn't like hanging out with Beel?

The Beels even get along with each other so they regularly go to the gym and games together. Though it’s not super sportsmanly to switch out Beels between quarters in fangol, it's not technically against any rules either so the past few games have gone very well! (It's he'll, who even reads the rulebook anyway?)

Belphegor

It actually took a little while to notice that there were even two Belphies, let alone five…

MC would walk into a room and see a Belphie sleeping on the couch. Perfectly normal.

Then, they'd go into another a few minutes later to see Belphie napping a chair… A little off, but still okay.

Well sure, but in the next room he's also apparently on the floor too and….

Wait a minute.

Turns out five Belphies is either a breeze to deal with or absolute hell and there's no in between.

If they're all asleep, things are fine. Just artfully pile them on top of each other like dead bodies in a stealth game and move on.

If they're awake, then there's just way too much Belphie! And they play off each other in just the worse ways… The Anti-Lucifer League has never been so active, much to his brother's dismay...

This can be mitigated slightly by pawning a few off on Beel (who is more than happy to mind his duplicated twin) but that solution doesn't work forever…

Moreover, the MC can't sleep anywhere without them all gravitating towards them so even the shortest nap results in waking up under a dogpile of cow-men… It's a wonder they don't suffocate...

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons

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makeste · 3 years

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I like Bakuguo but his attitude is starting to really piss me off. He's talking about Daku as if he's just ~crazy~ and as if he isn't partly to blame for Deku's toxic self-worth issues. It's infuriating to watch. If Bakuguo doesn’t admit out loud and in front of his friends that his bullying of Deku played a part in Deku's current destructive state and if he doesn’t verbally apologize and reaffirm Deku's worth then I can no longer like Bakuguo's character or Hori's writing.

tbh I don't really know why this is the discourse of choice for people all of a sudden, but this is already the second ask I've gotten about it, so I might as well address it lol.

I think fandom is conflating fanon!Deku and canon!Deku here again. fanon Deku is of course much more sensitive and woobified and has much shakier self-esteem. fanon Deku is the one that turns evil in so many AUs because of Kacchan's bullying. fanon Deku is the one that actually jumps off the roof in so many fics, as opposed to fishing his notebook back out of the pond a few minutes later grumbling about how Kacchan needs to think before he speaks or else he could land himself in serious shit one day if god forbid anyone actually does take his cruel words to heart.

and just to clarify before I get any further, I am not saying this to excuse Kacchan's actions in any way, because what he did was still completely terrible and unacceptable and WAY over the line, and what's more he knew it, too. the bullying was still shitty and horrible and awful, and definitely impacted Deku and made him miserable. I fully acknowledge that, and that Kacchan has a lot of atoning to do for it. this is not a "Kacchan did nothing wrong" post.

but that being said, I don't think canon Deku's reckless self-sacrificing nature actually has anything to do with the bullying. I think they're two completely separate things. canon Deku actually has pretty decent self-esteem in spite of everything Kacchan did to him. canon Deku doesn't think he is useless. canon Deku had a wholeass fight with Kacchan less than 10 chapters into the series in which he explicitly spelled it out for Kacchan that he had a lot of worth, and was going to prove it to him. canon Deku was persistent in wanting to become a hero and hoping and believing that he could find some way in spite of being quirkless. canon Deku never let go of that dream even when no one else supported it. I don't think he would have even given up on it after being told no by All Might, tbh -- we just never got to see how it would have played out because of everything that happened with the sludge monster shortly afterward. but he's not the type to ever give up on something that easily, and we've seen that. canon Deku never thought he was useless, but rather wanted to prove to everyone else that he wasn't.

the drive that Deku has to save and protect others even at the expense of his own safety is something entirely separate from that. he doesn't break his body for others simply because he has no self-esteem and thinks that his own life isn't important. he does it because he can't stand the thought of someone else getting hurt, and knowing that he could have done something to prevent it. it's as simple as that. like, Spider-Man has the whole "with great power comes great responsibility" thing, right? and he doesn't have low self-esteem; he simply believes that if he has the ability to help someone else, then he has a responsibility to help them. it's a personal creed. and Deku is based on Spider-Man. his philosophy is based on that philosophy, which was one of Horikoshi's core influences and is one of the core creeds in superhero fiction.

Deku is self-destructive not because he doesn't value himself, but because he is literally physically incapable of standing back and doing nothing if he knows that he can do something. he's the type of person who sees a car speeding towards someone and leaps in to push them out of the way. NOT because he wants to get himself fucking pancaked by a speeding car, but simply because he can't sit back and watch the other person get hurt without taking action. his body moves before he can think. and that's where the whole "doesn't take himself into account" thing comes in -- the fact that his thought process simply stops at "get them out of the way of the car", and never extends beyond that to "hey, and maybe I should try to find a way to do this that doesn't involve me getting hit in their place." to him, that's simply less important than the first priority, which is getting the other person out of the way.

and regarding that last part, while that may seem like a self-worth issue if he's prioritizing everyone else above himself, I think what it actually is just selflessness taken to extremes. like for instance, when a parent sacrifices themselves to save their child, them placing the child's life above their own isn't necessarily because they don't see themselves as having value. rather, it's that they love the child so much that they place their well-being even above their own. and that's what Deku is like as well. except that in his case he cares about EVERYONE, and so is willing to sacrifice himself for anyone. and that selflessness is his defining character trait, and simultaneously the most admirable and the most terrifying thing about him. it's both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness, which I think is fascinating to explore.

but anyway, so that's also why we never really see anyone thoroughly chewing him out for this behavior either. because the thing is, it is admirable how selfless he is. it's just that there's also a reason why most people are at least a little bit selfish. and that's because too much selflessness will ultimately and inevitably wind up getting you killed. at some point you either have to learn when to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, or else find yourself a loyal group of friends (or classmates) to watch your back, and make sure that mask gets on you when you need it. and maybe help you land the plane too while they're at it.

anyway so that was a lot of rambling, but basically it all boils down to three things:

when Deku berates himself for being useless (for instance at the end of the War arc), he's doing it out of frustration for not being able to push the others out of the way of the metaphorical car. that's the kind of uselessness he can't stand. the sitting-back-and-doing-nothing uselessness.

Kacchan's bullying was terrible, and it might have indeed played a part in Deku's choice of the word "useless" as a way of berating himself in these instances, but he is not the one who gave Deku this mindset of taking himself out of the equation. that's something that was already inherent to Deku from day one. (but that said, Kacchan has a lot of things to apologize to Deku for anyway, so if he wants to add this to the list I certainly won't stop him. he gets mad about Deku's suicidal attitude because it worries him, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't feel responsible for it. people underestimated his feelings of atonement before 284/285, and I think they're still underestimating him now.)

and lastly, one last important note, which is that Deku's current "saving" mindset isn't wrong, just as Kacchan's "winning" mindset was not wrong either. the lesson to be learned here is NOT that being selfless and wanting to save other people is bad. rather, it's the fact that he's trying to do it alone that's got him all fucked up right now. basically when you think about it, selflessness is really just selfishness on someone else's behalf. which means that in order for Deku to be saved, it isn't necessary for him to change his outlook or his selfless attitude, even if it is pretty crazy lol. rather, all he really needs is a good group of friends who are willing to act selfishly on his behalf in return. protecting each other through mutual selflessness lol. teamwork as self-preservation. hence why the U.A. kids are here now.

anyway so yeah, I think that's everything. sorry this got so long and out of control lol. this is just a very specific nuanced thing that's hard for me to express, but which I feel is very important when it comes to Deku's character. Kacchan didn't unleash Depressed Nomad Deku on the world (or at least not in this respect). but that being said, he and the others will hopefully be the ones to nudge him back on the right course again.

#bnha 319 #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #long post

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ellana-ravenwood · 3 years

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The art of taking care of the woman you love - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : You’ve always had really bad period pains. You learned to live with it, and to take care of yourself during those times...Up until a certain Bruce Wayne came into your life, and made it his mission to be there for you.

For @meghan-maria, who gotta be the sweetest out there :), and for anyone who ever had really bad period pains. I hope you will like it :

TW : periods. It’s obvious given the theme, but I guess we never know and better safe than sorry.

My master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

The First time it happened

It’s the fact you cancelled your planned date with him without an explanation that makes him worry.

“Sorry, can’t make it tonight. Will see you tomorrow !”

You never did that before, and you two were so busy neither of you would miss a date really. Not unless something bad or important happened. But then in that case, you would’ve told him, no ?

It made him so anxious. And he was starting to clearly overthink things.

Were you maybe...having second thoughts ?

You and Bruce made your relationship official not long ago, was the media’s pressure becoming too much ? You told him you’d be fine, but after a few months experiencing the plague that were paparazzi and invasive questions, did you change your mind ?

Or maybe it was because of the whole Batman thing ? You discovered that a while ago, even before making your relationship official so...why would you change your mind about it now ?

Maybe he came home with too many cuts and bruises. Maybe you were freaking out ? He would understand if you did.

Or...There was a last option that came to his mind : he upset you somehow.

It was entirely possible, sometimes he could get stuck in his own mind, and be a jerk without even truly realizing it. He knew that fact very well about himself. It was often the reason of how he ruined multiple relationships, friends or more.

The way he sometimes just got too focused on his vigilante work. Too obsessed. And could be stuck in a “dark mode” like you’d say...

But, he also knew that you never took any of his shit. You would’ve told him if something was really the matter, right ?

Right ?!

Should he ask Alfred if he noticed anything ? His butler, and surrogate father, always saw things that escaped him. Especially when it came to feelings.

This was a less known trait about Bruce, but ever since he was a child, he’s always been anxious. He was usually really good at hiding it, and his “Brucie Wayne” persona made everyone think it wasn’t possible for him to be anything else but confident and cocky but...it wasn’t true.

Especially when it came to those he cared about. Especially when it came to you.

You loved him despite his flaws, accepted him fully, without any conditions. It was the first time it ever happened, that he LET it happen...So, with this simple plan cancellation that was quite unlike you, he freaked out a bit.

In the middle of the day, he finally decided to call you. One. Two. Three tones before you picked up, and oh. Oh he felt so relieved to hear your little “hello ?”

At the same time, his worry peaked. Was it just him, or did you sound really weak ?

“Hey honey, just wanted to check if you were alright ? Your text was a little short, and I know you don’t owe me any explanations of course, but I just wanted to check on you. You know. I-um...”

Clumsy Brooshy.

It made you smile, the way he could be a little flustered and lose his words, when with you. And it made you smile even wider that he chose to call you to make sure everything was ok.

Sweet Broosh.

If you really didn’t want to talk to him, you wouldn’t have answered. And he wasn’t the kind of man to “insist”. He would’ve left a voice message, and leave you alone until you felt like calling him back. Bruce was most definitely not invasive...but at the same time, you’d never leave him worrying for no reasons, knowing how anxious he could be.

The truth was, your text was short because...You didn’t know how to tell him the reasons you needed to cancel your date. You didn’t want to embarrass him. Men didn’t really like to talk about what you currently were suffering from.

You also were a little embarrassed yourself, because the entire society surrounding you made you feel wrong for having periods.

Periods.

One week a month. Every single months. That was a lot.

Especially for you because...you always had complicated and difficult periods. Painful. Making you feel like you couldn’t move. The pain making it impossible for you to even get out of bed for long.

You and Bruce had been dating for a while but...weren’t periods sort of a taboo subject ? You didn’t really know how to tell him. Especially since most men really seemed uncomfortable with the all thing.

Of course, you should’ve know Bruce wasn’t “most men”.

“Baby, are you there ?”

“Um yes yes, sorry I was lost in thoughts.”

“Are you ok ? You don’t sound right.”

The most observant man in the World was obviously going to realize your voice sounded weaker than usually. The truth was, you were trying really hard to keep it steady as pain filled your being.

“Yes yes, I’m ok, just feeling a bit...under the weather ?”

“Is there anything I can do ? Is it a cold or something ? If so, I can bring you buy some chicken noodle soup, and pick up any meds you might need.”

You almost cried at his words.

Super busy bee Bruce Wayne was telling you he’d go out of his way to bring you what you needed...It made you crack a little.

He was too damn nice. And your hormones were in shambles. It was very easy right now for you to cry.

This. How willing he was to help you, how he immediately asked if he could...Was what made you say the truth without thinking twice :

“I’m-I’m on my periods. They’re usually- They’re usually bad.”

“Oh.”

His response scared you a little bit. Were you right, was this maybe too much, too soon ? You were about to add something when he said :

“I’ll be there in about an hour, if it’s ok with you ? If you prefer to be alone I can send-”

“No ! No, I would love for you to come. I just-I wasn’t sure-I-”

“It’s ok. I understand. See you in a bit, love you.”

“Love you, too.”

On that note, Bruce hung up and leaves you with a wild beating heart.

************

Exactly an hour later, your doorbell rings.

With difficulties, you stand up, and go open the door. Surely enough, it’s your boyfriend.

“Hi.”

He has a bag in his hand, and you melt a little at the soft look and smile he gives you (even if there’s clear concerns behind it). You let him in, and go sit on the couch, even if just sitting up is already too much.

“Do you want to lie down ?”

“No. No I’m fine. You came all the way here, I can’t just stay in bed haha.”

“Of course you can.”

There’s a small silence for a little bit. Not awkward, you’re just not quite sure what to do. Should you go back to bed ? You really want to. And clearly, he understands. He always does.

“Ok.”

You stand, and wince because moving really makes everything worst. He approaches you, worried, but doesn’t dare to touch you and just follows you into your room. You get back in your comfy bed, under your comfy comforter.

Another silence. Until he breaks it, taking something out of the bag he was carrying and saying :

“So. I wasn’t sure you had a hot water bottle, I don’t ever recall seeing one in your apartment. So I bought one on the way just in case. Sorry if you don’t like the color, I can pick another one up later. It’s just, the woman on YouTube said that heat pads and hot water bottles were great.”

“The...woman on YouTube ?”

“Yes, I watched a video on menstruations on the way here.”

For a few seconds, you just stare at him, stunned. Never EVER in your entire life did you think you would hear THE Bruce Wayne say those words one day.

“A video on menstruations ?”

“Well, yes. Obviously, I don’t have periods. So I have no idea what it feels like. So I watched a video, to understand the process. And also so that you wouldn’t have to explain anything to me. You know what periods are, you don’t have to educate me on it. It’s not your job. And I definitely don’t want to sound patronizing about it. So I watched a video, and read a few articles. I won’t say I know how it feels, but I understand it more. Tell me if I ever step my bounds at any moment..”

You can’t help but smile, even as your lower belly is on fire. Ah. Of course he would search things about it. Bruce was the kind of man to be thorough in his researches before tackling a problem. As Batman, he always tried to know everything there is to know about a situation before finding any solutions. But he was like that in real life too.

And it particularly touched you that he did it so you wouldn’t have to explain...You had an ex, once, who sat down with you to talk about menstruations and it sort of drove you crazy. He thought it was nice, but your hormones were wreaking HAVOC and he was trying to explain to you how periods work and what it felt like ??? Give you advice about it and that it would be fine if you did what he said ?? Excuse me ??? As if you didn’t try everything already to feel less pain. And as if, as a woman, you didn’t know what it felt like or what it was exactly...

And there came Bruce. Reading up on it. And knowing he would never quite know how it feels. But educating himself so he won’t say something that could trigger you in any way.

Sweet sweet man...If only people knew.

He caressed your cheek softly, before whispering :

“Then I-I watched something on endometriosis, because I read in a previous article it felt horrible. And you said your periods were bad, when we were on the phone. It sounds awful. Do you-...Have endometriosis ?”

You shake your head weakly. Endometriosis was one of the reason why your periods were so painful and dreaded. And the worst ? It was a sickness many people said didn’t even exist.

A woman being in pain during her periods ? Drama queen. Right ? It didn’t hurt that baaaaad. See, some women didn’t feel anything, just bled for a bit and moved on with their months. So obviously every women felt the same. Some were just being too sensitive...

Endometriosis was still, even to this day, a rather unknown illness and one that was rarely taken seriously. Some people just couldn’t even fathom you being in pain because of your periods, so much so that you couldn’t move.

That you occasionally fainted, that you couldn’t eat much because it made you vomit, that you had awful migraines, stomach ache and back pain. That you couldn’t focus or sleep because of it. No.

No those were just “made up symptoms” because you were “weak”...What awful things to say, right ? It was even worst to hear. Someone telling you this, as you felt like you were dying because of the pain, made you feel GUILTY to have painful periods.

But it wasn’t your fault ? IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT ?! Nor were the moodswings, the cravings, the fatigue...

You hated going to the doctors when you were younger, because you knew he wouldn’t believe you when you said your periods hurt...

Anyway. Even without endometriosis, women who had bad periods pain were rarely taken seriously. Unless they met another woman who felt the same. Then they’d feel like they weren’t alone, or crazy. Like there were others who felt bad too.

Every woman was different. And you unfortunately never met someone else with the same problems than you...

You felt very alone, for so long, and it was enhanced by your hormones going crazy and the pain being unbearable at times.

And then, in come Bruce.

Your Broosh.

“Ok. Well. I brought you some of your favorite food. And um, I picked up some snacks if you want to do a movie marathon ? I brought all The Lord of the Rings extended editions. I got heat pads and a hot water bottle like I said. We can also just cuddle and relax if you prefer, I read that physical comfort was good ? Or, I can leave everything here, settle you in properly, and leave you alone. Just, tell me what you need my love ?”

What did...you need ?

Nobody ever asked you that. Nobody. Not even your parents.

What did you need ?

The answer came quickly.

Him. You need him. His warmth. His large and soothing hands. His comforting presence. His calming voice.

You knew you were in love with him since a while now. You exchanged “I love yous” already. But never did you feel as much love for him as right now, seeing him sitting in front of you, asking you what you needed...

A simple action. Simple words. And yet, it meant everything.

“What do you need, honey ?”

The concern in his eyes, and how he was very obviously ready to do whatever you wanted him to.

It already made you feel better. The physical pain didn’t go down, that’s not how it worked unfortunately. But the emotional anguish ? Gone.

Because he was there.

Without even realizing it, you started crying. This was too much for your heart, too overwhelming. It meant the World, in that moment.

It meant the world, to you and your overworked hormones. And so you cried. You cried hard.

Without thinking twice, Bruce moved towards you. Taking his coat off and leaving it on the floor (Alfred would scold him about this for sure), he climbs in your bed and engulfs you in his arms. And it’s so warm and comforting, comfortable, too.

“Just tell me what you need..”

He whispered to you, in his deep calming voice, his fingers running soothingly through your hair.

“Could you just...keep holding me ?”

He smiles softly, and says :

“Of course.”

He never, and never would, shy away from comforting you in any way. If you needed to have a good cry in his arms, so be it. And if you just needed him to be there, he would be there.

You cuddled for a bit, the soothing circles he rubbed on your back doing wonders to make you feel relax. He brought some essential oils, that he massaged on your belly before filling the hot water bottle and laying it there...It relieved the pain a little bit, as you started a marathon of your favorite movies.

He took great care of you all day long, answering your every need even as you didn’t dare to ask...as if he could read your mind. You almost suspected he really could. You never felt so in phase with anyone before like you did with him.

You had been together for less than a year. Although your anniversary was right around the corner. But him coming over as soon as he knew you weren’t feeling well. Him educating himself on what was it that hurt you...

If you weren’t sure yet that he was the one...You knew now.

It sucks to be a woman, sometimes

Bruce never knew periods could be that bad. Well, of course, he was a guy. And “periods” was never really a subject he talked about with anyone. He never really paid attention to it, like many men really.

Until he saw you while on it.

He knew you. He knew you were a tough lady. Once, you broke your leg while on a date with him. A silly accident really. Involving an ice rink, and an overzealous you chasing a hockey puck...Long story short, you ended up with a bad break. And you barely said a word about it.

Bruce had his bones broken many times, he knew the pain of it. It was one of the pain he hated the most, along with burns. One he dreaded the most. And you took it like a champ.

The break was bad enough you even needed surgery, yet you kept smiling at him (he might’ve feel bad that he let his over-competitive mind take over, “pushing” you to really want that puck...but of course, it was not his fault, after all, you too were very competitive, it was a pure accident). Saying you were fine, and that it’d be ok.

He always hated seeing you hurt, it hurt him too. Inside. And scared the Hell out of him, to even think about you being harmed. So that day, he was rather frantic. You staying calm helped him, which made him feel a little guilty that even as you were the hurt one, you reassured him.

But then you reminded him the roles were often reversed when he came back hurt from a rough vigilante night...You always had the right words to ease his mind.

Anyway. That one time, after badly breaking your leg, you stayed rather calm and collected. But when you had your periods ?

He never knew it could hurt so much. You couldn’t hide your pain, or pretend everything was alright.

It was clearly a really bad moment to go through.

He knew about the terrible migraines, being unable to sleep which made everything worst, feeling like your lower belly was being twisted from the inside, being sore all over for no reasons, not being able to move...

Seeing you, was enough for him to know that periods sucked.

“Being a woman is the worst, sometimes!”

You’d often say during those moments, and he’d just soothe you, wishing he was in your place...

He hated when you were hurting. It hurt him too. Inside.

And never. NEVER would he doubt that you were in real pain. Because unlike the doctors who kept telling you it was in your head, he knew you. He saw you get injured before. He knew you were tough. So for you to not be able to pretend everything was fine...

You were hurting. Badly. And it was awful. But he believed you. He believed you and that’s all that mattered to you.

Space

He also knew how to give you space when you needed it, though.

He would be here if you needed him, bring you any food you craved, giving you relaxing massages, rubbing essential oils on your belly, filling up your hot water bottle etc etc.

To be honest, his reaction to you being on your period is what made you sure he would be a great father one day...And you were right.

Not a perfect father.

But oh. Oh he cared. And wanted so much to do good...

And he knew.

He knew exactly when he had to be there, and when he had to give you space.

His hoodie

Bruce couldn’t always be with you when you had your periods, of course.

He often took time off to be. But it was unrealistic to think he could be 24/7 with you the entire week.

And sometimes, when he was away, you really suddenly craved his presence...So you came up with a trick.

You stole his clothes.

Particularly, hoodies he often wore when hanging out casually in the Manor.

First of, they were very comfortable. And second, and most importantly : they smelled like him.

They were warm, had his scent, and you could fall asleep feeling like he was almost there.

Bruce couldn’t count the number of hoodies he lost to you....Then again, after a while, you’d ruthlessly abandon one because it stopped smelling like him, and would steal another one.

Of course, he never minded. In fact, beyond the fact hoodies were nice and comfortable, he started to wear them a lot while in the house or during times he didn’t need to wear a suit (in every sense of the term), specifically because he knew you’d steal them when you felt lonely.

It was cute. And it made his heart beat faster just thinking about it.

Nobody.

Nobody ever needed him that much before. Nobody ever loved him so much that sometimes him not being around was distressing.

Of course, he felt the same. And the knowledge that you too, would sometimes feel lovesick when you were separated for too long...Filled his heart to the brim with the best feelings.

For so long, he thought someone being dependable of him, and him being dependable of someone was bad...Oh, how he was wrong.

It’s not because you open your heart to someone that you’ll get hurt, or that they’ll use it against you. You just have to find the right person...

So. Yes. He will always cancel plans just to be with you.

To bring you hot water bottles whenever you need. To cook your favorite food and snacks. To be there during all your mood swings, and endure even if you’re not the nicest to him (it’s not your fault). To watch your favorite movies. To let you sleep in and run your errands...

Periods sucked.

He didn’t need to be a woman to know that.

So he was there. Right there. For you. Taking care of you. And he would forever be there for that.

But when he wasn’t ?

Then he’d strategically leave one of his hoodie near the bed, so you could steal it, and comfort yourself with his smell...

Mood Swings

“Brooooooooooosssssh...”

You’re crying. You’re crying !

And it makes Bruce panic. You cry very rarely, so when you do it means something really bad must’ve happened or..or...

Bruce makes a quick calculation in his head and...Yup.

It’s that time of the month again.

Already ? Poor you..

This means that tomorrow, you’ll be a mess as everything will hurt too much, and today, the eve right before, you’re overly emotional.

Hence you clinging to him right now, sobbing while repeating “I love you so much Bruce, I love you soooo much”.

Hormones could really turn your head around. Right at the start of your period, before the pain, you had a rush of many emotions.

You could either get very irritated for no reason (like “WHY IS THIS FLOOR ON THE FLOOR ?!”) or cry at everything. Right now, you were crying because you realized you loved your Broosh to death and you just had to tell him and you didn’t want him to go that night and...ah...

“It’s alright, it’s alright my love. You’re ok. We’re ok.”

He lets you cry in his arms, of course. And already made the decision to not go out tonight, and stay with you. Kate could take over. He couldn’t leave knowing your emotions were doing quite a trick on you...

************

Your mood swings during your periods were particularly bad.

You guessed it went in pairs with all the pain. Of course, not just one thing had to be exacerbated. Oh no. EVERYTHING bad about periods had to be turned to the max for you. Otherwise, were was the fun, right ? Sarcasm.

You’d get irritated for no reasons. Then feel bad and cry for hours. To then feel ridiculously giddy once again for seemingly no reason...and then suddenly a burst of anxiety would attack you.

It was a circus in your mind, and in your body.

You couldn’t focus on anything. You couldn’t sleep properly. You felt awful all the time. Everything hurt. God...

And there he was. Bruce. Taking the brunt of your bad moods without saying a word. He knew it wasn’t your fault. That you didn’t mean it. That your hormones dictated your behavior against your own will.

He knew.

And he was there.

He was there.

“Every little moment is important, Son” - Thomas Wayne, to Bruce during the Flashpoint events.

“Bruce ? What are you doing here ? Thought you had important meetings ?”

“They weren’t that important.”

“Really ? Lucious said-”

“Lucious is overdramatic. Anyway, Tim is taking care of it.”

“...You’re letting our sixteen years old son taking care of the future of your company ?”

“To be honest, he’s probably more competent about it than me.”

“...That’s actually pretty accurate. But, why did you cancel things ?”

“Because it’s this unpleasant time of the month, right ?”

“Oh. You don’t have to-”

“I absolutely do.”

Disappearing for a few seconds, your husbands comes back, wearing one of his favorite silk pajamas (and by “his” favorite, he really means : he knows you love them and think they look good on him, but won’t ever admit it because they’re “damn pajamas, it’s silly”...but he likes to please you). He then climbs in bed with you, and settles comfortable against you.

“So, what’s the program today ?”

This wasn’t unusual, for him to do this when you were on your periods.

In fact, it was almost a ritual. Delegating his works to others, so he could take care of you.

Ever since that first time, all those years ago, things didn’t change much. He would ask you what you need, you’d tell him, and he would do it happily.

He knew it was a tough moment for you, physically, hormonally, mentally...Having your periods sucked. So he was there. Right there.

The words his father...Well, not really his father. The “Thomas Wayne” of another dimension. What his father would’ve become if he died that fateful night, instead of his parents. Regardless, to him, it was his father.

The father that never saw him grow up and became the man he was now...Yet who had important words for him.

“Take advantage of every little moments, you never know when it’ll end.”

Those words stuck with him. Because it was true. It only took a few seconds in an alleyway for his whole world to turn upside down...Why would it take any less for it to completely change now too ?

What if something happened to you ? And he didn’t spend enough time by your side ? Or to his kids ?

There was a time, being Batman was everything to Bruce. Because he was angry, lost, and devastated.

But over the years...Over the years this role stayed important. But he expended his vision. He included others in it.

So. Yes. He would treasure those small moments with you. And if it meant taking a day and night off to take care of you during a rough time, then he’d do it. If it meant missing work (both his works) because one of his children was sick, so be it.

He was Batman. But he was also a husband. A father.

And now...Now he knew his priorities.

He’d never stop being Batman. Never.

But he knew now. He knew there was more to life than this dark world he thought he’d get stuck in till the end of his life.

“I was about to watch a movie.”

“A movie it is. If you want me here, of course.”

“Do you even have to ask ?”

“To make sure you’re ok ? Always.”

“-sigh- Yes. Yes Bruce, I want you here. I want nothing else, in fact.”

“Ah, not even pop-corn ?”

“...Once we’ll have pop-corn, I’ll want nothing else.”

“Um, why is there tampons in your drawer ??”

One day, one of Bruce’s associate, Carlton, needed some paperworks to finish a deal, and came into his office. Bruce was on the phone, and gestured to him to just pick the papers up in one of his desk’s drawer.

Only the man misunderstood and opened the wrong drawer and...

“What the-Why is there tampons and pads in your drawers ?”

He asked, half-bewildered half-amused. Bruce finished his phone call, and answered :

“Why wouldn’t there be ?”

“Um, are you a woman ?”

“No, but my wife, who often come to this office, is.”

“Jeez Louise Bruce, never pegged you to be such a simp haha ! Oh man, they’re even “organic”, how far can you go for one woman right ? Haha joking of course, or maybe..haha !”

There was something in the tone Carlton took that brushed Bruce the wrong way. Something disrespectful and irritating. Not disrespectful to him, as if he cared to be called a “simp” (by a grown ass man by the way, which made it even more ridiculous). No. He didn’t care. But..This was his wife, they were talking about, in the end.

“A...”simp” ? Because I have items who can be useful to my wife in my desk drawer ? A place in which she often comes, as I already said ?”

His voice was cold, and Carlton definitely noticed. He always thought Bruce was an affable man, but sometimes...Sometimes he had something almost scary in his eyes.

Ah, but Carlton wasn’t the kind of man to really take this things seriously. And he added :

“Come on Bruce, don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous ?”

“No.”

“I just think it’s funny you have a drawer full of those things.”

“As I said, my wife comes by often, and might need it sometimes. I keep them here for her. It often came in handy you know.”

“Don’t say that, that’s so gross.”

“Why ?”

“Just thinking about it.”

“Just thinking about something my wife, but also yours by the way, have no control over ?”

“My wife doesn’t- We just don’t talk about it.”

“Well I guess yes. Or you wouldn’t react that way. Do you not take care of her when she has her periods ?”

At the word “periods”, the man opened his eyes wide, which made your husband roll his. It truly TRULY baffled him that this dude was being grossed by OBJECTS and most likely didn’t take care of his wife ? How could you love someone and not want to comfort them ?!

“Well, I don’t think she- I- She doesn’t - I ...It’s embarrassing, no ?”

“No.”

“Well, maybe it’s not with your wife but with mine it has been. She asked me a few times to buy pads for her.”

“Why would it be embarrassing ? I can assure you, nobody is going to think it’s for you.”

Carlton’s face was steadily going red. He said :

“It’s just something we don’t talk about.”

“Why not ?”

“It’s just...gross and...”

“Why is it gross though ? Why do you think that way ?”

“I mean, you know what periods are right ?”

“Of course I do. It’s something happening to a very large chunk of our population, and that is a natural phase in their life. Do you think your wife wants to have periods ? Most likely not. Mine definitely doesn’t. But she does. So I do keep pads and tampons here in case of an emergency, in case she has nothing else on her.”

“Nothing else ?”

“Do you think only pads and tampons exist for women’s periods ?”

“I-”

“It’s not hard to read up on it a bit. Especially when someone as close as your own wife is a “victim” of it."

Awkard silence. Clearly, the man was uncomfortable. Bruce sighed, and said :

“Just go take care of those papers.”

Evidently relieved, his associate almost ran out of the room.

Bruce kept thinking about how funny Carlton thought it was to have pads in his drawers. How he was about to mock him further before he got called out. “Simp”. If taking care of the woman he loved meant being a simp, then whatever.

Bruce couldn’t stop thinking about his associate’s words. And it gave him an idea...

The next day, every newspapers and local news channel talked about how the (Y/N) Wayne Foundation gave millions of dollars to every school and public places in the country to provide free tampons and pads to women. And how Bruce Wayne became a huge advocate of the “period positivity” movement his wife started.

“Periods shouldn’t be taboo.”, he said in his speech for the grand-opening of thousands and thousands of free pads distributors.

When the kids are around.

Dick

Dick was little when he first witnessed what your periods did to you, and he downright panicked when you fainted in front of him while you two were shopping for Bruce’s birthday present !

That morning when you woke up, you knew you were going to have your periods. You always felt it in your bones, a little bit before it truly started...But you also promised little Dickie you’d help him chose a gift for your husband.

You hated breaking your promises. Especially the one you made to your kid. He was just nine, and already experienced so many heartache...You couldn’t just break a promise you made to him, no matter what.

So you went anyway, knowing there was a high chance you’d feel ill during the day. You were hoping, in fact, your periods wouldn’t truly start up until the evening, and so you could spend the day with your son.

Alas...

“Mom ? Mom !? Someone help !!”

Your fainting during your period never lasted long. Just a sudden drop of energy, feeling dizzy, and falling...you woke up fast. Opening your eyes to see your baby boy with tears in his eyes. You knew what happened, and reassured him immediately.

You refused to call an ambulance, and instead called Alfred to ask if he could come pick you two up (you would NOT risk driving while in this state).

And there you were, sitting on a bench with your son while waiting for Alfred who would be there as soon as it takes to get from Wayne Manor to Gotham’s City Center.

“Are you sure you’re ok ?”

“Yes, don’t worry, this is normal.”

“Fainting is not normal !”

Dick looked so distressed...Should you tell him what was going on ? But he was such a young child.

Ah. But you were amongst the people who thought that kids weren’t as stupid as many people thought. And that they could handle the truth, especially this kind of things.

Understand what was happening to you would surely easy his mind. And make him understand, and act accordingly in the future. Wether with you, or a possible girlfriend ?

So you do just that.

You explain to him what is going on. You don’t give too many scientific details, but you explain as best you can so he understands.

“And every women has it ?”

“Every women have periods yes. But not everyone’s hurt.”

“Why do yours hurt ?”

“We don’t really know. I guess I wasn’t lucky ?”

“Scientists don’t know ?”

“Well, research on it are rather recents to be honest.”

“Why ? Women had it long ago too no ?”

“Yes, but it was a little taboo.”

“Why ?”

“Patriarchy.”

“Oh, damn patriarchy.”

You laugh. You knows he didn’t understand your answer, said as a joke to yourself. But it’s absolutely adorable how he immediately sides with you anyway.

“When I grow up, I’ll be a scientist. So I can help.”

“Ah, I thought you wanted to be an adventurer like Indiana Jones ? Or “whatever dad is doing I want to do it too” ?”

“Well. I can do more than once things at the same time, right ?”

“Sure you can. You can do anything.”

He smiles at you, and get closer for a little cuddle. And that’s how Alfred finds you two, your son hugging you, and you hugging him back, on a bench in the streets...

************

After the initial panic, Dick made it his mission to take care of you. He got really scared when he saw you faint, and would actually be a little...overbearing.

When he knew you were on your periods, he’d literally forbid you to walk around, and would make sure you had everything you needed.

His attentions, plus Bruce’s, made you feel like periods weren’t so bad in the end ?

Even as a grown up, Dick would often come by the manor with your favorite cake, for example, when he knew you didn’t feel well. And he would still get strict with you if he saw you roaming around and getting too busy while he knew you were in pain.

He’d do whatever you had to, for you. Wether it was cleaning things up, picking groceries...Running any errands for you, so you could rest.

You were definitely grateful. Even if sometimes, you wish you could just tell him to ease up a bit...Ah. But how could you really ?

The trauma Dick felt when loosing his parents made him overprotective and rather intransigeant. This was just how he was. And you always loved all your children unconditionally. You could take him being a bit too overprotective sometimes, because oh, oh he brought so much in your life...

Jason

You having really bad periods is the reason why when Jason, as a child or an adult, heard anyone say to a girl : “Jeez, why you so moody are you on your periods ?!”, would get mad.

It was cute to see his little ten years old self lecture grown adults about it : “Periods are really tough on a girl ! It’s not their fault is they don’t feel well or have mood swings, be more empathetic !”.

And it was still cute to see him as an adult glare at those who’d say this and give them a sermon about why it was wrong, and they better not say it again “or else” (and when a man like your son said the words “or else”, literally no one wanted to find out what he meant by it).

Once, someone told him, sarcastically :

“Wow, you drunk a lot of “respect women juice” huh ?”

“What is that even suppose to mean ? I’m being a decent human being. You should try it sometimes. If respecting women is so foreign to you, that hearing me say what I said is funny and ridiculous, reassess your life mate.”

It’s really not like anyone really wanted to argue with your son. Besides the fact he was very tall, and as a vigilante definitely worked out a lot...he had a “dangerous” air about him. It was his eyes maybe, daring anyone to argue and making them understand he wouldn’t back down without a fight ?

Ah. But if only people tried to look beyond that. If they only tried to know your son.

They’d realize he’s the sweetest little buddy around.

It surprised people that you still called him “little buddy” even as he was fast approaching his mid-twenties. But for you...

For you he was still that little, sweet Jay he was before he died. The one that you could still see sometimes, behind all his anger, trauma and hurt.

Ever since he was a child, Jason always felt everything more than anyone around him. He was an “hypersensitive” child. When he was angry, he was enraged. When he was happy, he was the happiest boy on Earth. When he was sad, it was hard to console him.

When he grew up, and all those bad things happened to him...This trait of his got even more enhanced. It was sometimes hard to reach him under all those negative emotions...Yet. Yet you managed to do it.

Bruce too...But that was another story.

For now, you just always felt extremely proud that your son was actually not as harsh as some people thought (the same mistakes they all kept making about your husband...you hated this kind of assumptions).

He always stood up for the underdogs. And was always respectful, and would voice his opinions.

Like how he hated when people told women : “ugh are you on your periods ?!” if they were being just a tiny bit difficult (sometimes, not even).

As a kid, Jason would worry a lot about you when you were on your periods. He hounded Bruce to know if you were ok, which your husband didn’t mind, of course. But he never quite dared to “bother you”.

Of course, he would never bother you. But Jason was a complicated kid who always worried too much. He didn’t want to get in your way, or annoy you.

So he had little quiet actions for you.

Like getting your slippers warm when you’d wake up, by placing them near the radiators all night and putting them right beside your bed before you’d wake up. Or bringing you hot beverages. Baking your favorite treats, and leaving them in strategic places so you’d see it. Or scolding his dad when he thought he wasn’t taking care of you enough haha.

Jason was a good kid. Nobody would ever change your mind on that. He was a good kid, to whom bad things happened. Yet he never strayed from his principles...No matter how people could see his recent actions.

Jason was a good kid.

He was your kid.

As a child, he hated this week during which you had your periods. He dreaded them as much as you did. Just like Bruce, he had a hard time standing you being hurt...

As an adult. It was the same. And he still had little silent actions to make you feel better. To make your day easier.

That was Jason for you.

Such, such a good kid...

Tim

Tim, very much like his father, was a boy who needed to always have a plan, and to know everything before finding solutions.

When you were on your periods, he’d always know. Because he kept a calendar about it.

Some people might find it weird, but...Why ? He kept count of the days to know when you’d have your periods, so he could act accordingly. So he wouldn’t be caught off guard by one of your mood swings. And so he could take care of you ??

It was an act of care, to keep track of your periods. Sometimes, he even knew before you when you were going to have it.

People who thought it was weird to kept such a calendar, were the same people who thought periods were gross and a taboo subject.

Sure, it was definitely not very glamorous. But it was part of half of the World’s population life ?? Why keep it taboo and refusing to talk about it ?

Tim immediately, just like his dad, did a lot of research on women’s menstruations...Which got you to be called in his principal’s office once.

The man was worried, and unhappy that your son was reading a magazine “for woman” about “menstruations”, he thought the topic was vulgar and inappropriate.

Your son was 13. Which was also the age many of his girl friends were experiencing their first periods. And that principal was out there, scolding him because he talked about it, making an entire generation of little girls thinking they were wrong for having periods ?

Needless to say, you got rather mad. And the principle never called you ever again (if he had to call, he was always making sure to get your husband on the line, and not you).

And so Tim kept learning everything possible about it, in the hope also to find the perfect remedies to ease your pain. He tried a lot, to help you out. Gave tricks to Bruce, too.

And so, kept a calendar.

This allowed him to know if something was wrong, as well.

He was the first one to guess you were pregnant with Thomas, because of his calendar. And one time, you had hormonal problems and he’s the one that told you you should check an endocrinologist because you’d been too irregular with your periods time !

Yes. Just like his dad, Tim needed to know a situation fully before acting. And seeing him trying to know as much as he could in order to help you was...why, it was the most adorable thing in the world.

Cass

Cass’ periods were not painful, and you were so glad for her.

To her, it was a mild annoyance, there was no pain, it was just irritating. And yes, she had mood swings and could easily get mad, but it was nothing major.

She never even knew other women could have it so bad...The education about periods was really lacking ! They never talked about it anywhere !

Cass was a woman of few words...but she knew how to pass her emotions through her body language. Oh, how she knew.

“Momma.”

Just like your other kids, she’d come check on you when Bruce couldn’t take care of you. You wanted space sometimes, which they all understood. But honestly, during your periods, when you were so sensitive about everything ? You also wanted them around almost all the time.

A paradox. Very fitting of those damn periods time.

Cass would just sit with you, and make sure you were comfortable. She wouldn’t say a word. Lay her head on your shoulder, and hold your hand. Watch movies with you. Hold you close.

She was delicate with you, as if afraid to break you.

Just like your husband, her presence had a soothing effect ? As if nothing bad could ever happen to you as long as she was there (and that probably was right, Cassandra would never let anyone touch her “momma”).

She didn’t need to talk. She didn’t need to do anything more than stay with you when you didn’t want to be alone.

She never experienced the pain you had, but if even to her, who had painless periods, it was annoying and a damn plague ? Then to you...

She didn’t need to do much.

Just her being there already meant a lot.

Her holding onto you, even as she stayed afraid of anyone’s touch for so long.

“Momma.”

Cassandra was your only daughter. And oh you were glad her periods weren’t as bad as yours. That’s all that really mattered to you.

“Momma.”

You often fell asleep with the warmth of your kiddo right there. Next to you. Knowing she wasn’t going to leave unless you wanted to. Knowing she wish she could take your pain on.

Ah. But no. No even if it was possible you’d never allow that. You were the mom. YOU were supposed to take their pains on.

And knowing that Cass never suffered on her periods as bad as you did, was enough. After all, your baby suffered enough in the past...She could get a little lucky, right ?

“Momma.”

That word was music to your hear. Cass’ first word to you.

She didn’t need to talk anyway. Being here was enough...

It was more than enough.

Damian

Everyone who saw Damian around you would notice that he wasn’t quite the same boy than "normally”.

He was calmer, nicer, and sweeter.

You’d argue that it was his real self. That this was his “normal”. That he was just never allowed to show his true heart before, and wasn’t used to trust others and open up. And you were definitely more than happy that he finally managed to do that after arriving into your home.

That none of you ever gave up on him.

You especially had a calming effect on him. After all, he never had a “conventional” mom, who could take care of him when he was sick, kiss him good night and make sure he always had everything he needed.

Some would say you coddled him too much...And you didn’t care. Because that boy lived 10 years being the opposite of coddled. So what, if you’d cut the crust off of his sandwiches, or read him bed time stories every single night ?

Damian loved it. As he often said, being a momma’s boy was “hardly something he was ashamed of”. He never felt loved and safe before, you bet he’d take every chance he got to be cared for.

He never got to act like an actual kid. You allowed him to do just that, AND you made him feel like he belonged. Finally. Like he had an actual family.

So...The day he heard about your absolutely awful periods, what did he do ?

Every single day of your life with him, you had at least one nice intention to him. Wether it was baking his favorite cookies, or telling him how proud you were of him, you always had nothing but kindness for him, often going out of your way for your son.

It was normal for you. Of course. And you did it with all your children...but you had to admit maybe Damian had just a little more of it, because he really never had anything like that to him.

And to him, it only felt normal then, when you felt at your worst, that he’d be there for you exactly like you were there for him.

During any mood swings, he’d have comforting words for you. He had little attentions for you that just made life easier.

Again, it would greatly surprise anyone but his family, but when you had your periods, he did a lot of overly sappy little things.

Like for example : every month, he wrote seven things he found extraordinary about you and would put them in a jar. Seven. The number of day in a week. And usually the number of day, give or take, your periods would last.

The jar would be sitting right on your bedside table on the first day, with the indications you had to read one paper every morning, or every time you felt down (it was supposed to be one paper a day). Sometimes, you’d go through his seven messages in less than a day...and magically, the next day, the jar would be filled again.

Damian made sure of it.

This was just a small example. But it showed exactly what kind of boy your son really was.

If he was heartless, a killer, someone destined to destroy the World...would he really put that much effort into making you feel love ? Into making you feel better any way he could ?

You didn’t think so. The only way your son could ever “turn bad”, was if you (and Bruce) stopped caring for him. Left him alone (A/N : this is a CLEAR jab at current comics canon, if you know what I mean :I ). Only if he felt abandoned, unloved, and rejected.

You knew your boy had, just like you, “rejection dysphoria”. It was hard for him to accept any kind of rejection, and it made him act out and hurt. But that was another story...

Right now, all that mattered to you, is that you knew your son was always going to be there for you, just like you’d always be there for him.

That he finally learned how to love, and care. That he would never unlearn it, as long as you lived.

Your periods sucked.

So bad.

But Damian was a ray of light in the darkness of those seven dreaded days...

Duke

Duke’s mom also had endometriosis.

Over the years, he perfected a “special remedy” he always made her when she had her periods.

He hesitated to make it for you. After all, it was something that made him bond greatly with his own mom...was making it for you, now, acceptable ? Did it mean he forgot about his mother ?

No. No of course not.

Duke scolded himself for even thinking that. You too, became his mom. He learned over the years that it was ok, to have two mom. That when they’ll find a cure for his parents, it wouldn’t take away the years you filled in for the mother role, and took care of Duke as if he was your own.

So here we go.

Some ginger. Some lemon. A dash of his little secret ingredients. Your favorite blend of tea. And it was done.

He brought it to you, saying it always soothed his mom...

And just that.

Just those words. It meant so much.

“It always used to soothe my mom. Used to do it all the time, ever since I was five !”

He said with a smile.

It was something he used to do for his mom, and now he did it for you. Just this. Just that fact, it was enough to make you feel better.

It didn’t take away the pain, but mentally ? It felt amazing.

You drunk his concoction and...Oh god.

Oh god it was disgusting. And...Ah. Yes. His mom probably pretended she liked it. “Ever since I was five !”. Ha. So cute. But also, it really was gross.

At the same time, you felt a pleasant warmth spread through your body as the terrible aftertaste slowly faded. Duke smiled to you, and with a little mischief in his voice said :

“It’s really gross, isn’t it ? But it does the trick haha”

There was a few seconds of silence. During which you blinked at him, not quite registering what he just said. Until...

You burst out laughing. The little mischievous smile, and the way he said “it’s really gross, isn’t it ?” was just too funny.

Your communicative laugh spread to Duke, and as he laughs it makes you laugh even louder too and...You forget.

For a moment you forget about your periods. The pain. The anguish. The emotional labor. This damn week of hell.

You forget.

And you just laugh.

You laugh alongside your son.

Thomas (if you wonder who the H is Thomas, you can check my “Batmom” masterlists, he appears from the story “the great mall adventure” ^^)

Thomas must’ve been about four, when he first saw you having your periods.

Your littlest baby was also one of the most sensitive out of them all (right along with Jason, the two of them cried their eyes out when they watched “Inside Out” and Bing Bong disappeared). Bruce always said he took that after you. And honestly, you couldn’t disagree. It’s true you could be very sensitive.

So one morning, when he woke up and went to breakfast and heard you weren’t feeling right, he immediately went to you and...

Bruce found him an hour later, crying in his room.

“Oh wow hey hey, what is it buddy ?”

He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice. Thomas might’ve been sensitive, but he rarely cried. He was just a very empathetic boy. But also a cheerful one, and he had a knack to see the good even in the worst situations.

So seeing him sob like that, made Bruce’s heart drop.

“Is mommy going to die ?!”

It took Bruce a few seconds to get a hold of his racing heart. His son crying. And asking if you were going to die. It shortcircuited his brain for a few seconds. Until he realized what Thomas was talking about...

“Oh, oh no champ, no, mommy isn’t going to die.”

Your kids were used to see you strong and fierce. Of course the first time your little one would see you on your period, he’d think something big was wrong.

He had just recently learned what death really mean (you can read about this here : The day he understand what Death means), and since then was so scared it’d happen to his parents. Or his siblings. Or anyone he knew, really...

Picking up his son and slowly and softly tapping his back in soothing circles, he walked around the room and rocked him until the boy calmed down a bit, before trying to explain as best he could why mommy felt bad, without going in in too many details.

Once Thomas understood this was just like when he got a fever that time, that it would pass, he felt much better. But also worst. Because his mommy wasn’t feeling well ! And it happened often !

Bruce reassured him that there were ways they could help you...And soooo :

Thomas brought you hot water bottles, with the help of his dad (the bottles were almost as big as him), and ended up falling asleep on one as it laid on your belly (he heard that humans’ body heat was very strong and wanted to “help the hot water bottle”).

The water in the bottle became cold, and you removed it..Your son didn’t woke up, so you laid him back down on your belly. And he was warm and so tiny, and you loved him so much...It made you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, to be surrounded by people like this little one.

And all your kids. Alfred. Your friends. Broosh...You fell asleep with sweet dreams made of warmth and cuddles.

Not long after, Bruce came by to check on you, finding both you and Tommy deeply asleep and...An overwhelming feeling of happiness took him over.

You weren’t the only one feeling lucky. Except for Bruce...For Bruce it was even stronger, because after his parents died, he never thought he would be happy ever again.

This was why he’d always be there for you. You gave him another family...

His schedule was freed, and he had a busy day. A nap sounded perfect. Especially while nestled against you, with his little one right there.

Dick came by in the afternoon, and found all of you like this. Bruce holding both you and his son, Thomas taking way more space than such a small body would make you thing he’d take.

Dick snapped a picture, and send it to the group chat he had with his siblings and some other close friends and such (like Clark, Wally, Conner, Diana etc etc they used the group chat to gossip about Bruce, mainly). With the caption : “Big bad bat tamed by a four year old”.

Cass send multiple hearteyes emojis. Jason said it was adorable and send a crying emoji, and didn’t care one bit what anyone would think of him saying such things. Damian yelled at Dick that he should’ve put the comforter back up on his baby brother and mom because it wasn’t properly put on !! Duke send a : “I’m downloading that picture for the next time he gets mad at us and we need to soften him up”. Tim replied with a gif of Maes Hughes from Full Metal Alchemist saying : “dis dad”. Clark said “they look so peaceful, you wouldn’t believe he threatened me just yesterday to punch me because I made a joke” to which Diana answered : “that joke was so bad I wanted to punch you to. Cute pic btw, give kisses to Tommy for me, you should come see me more, I just stocked my freezer with nothing but ice creams”..Everyone send a little comment about it.

Because even superheroes, could have normal conversations about those they love.

Suffering alone is a thing of the past

It’s funny. You couldn’t even remember, now, what it felt like “before”.

Before.

Before you met Bruce.

Before that first time he showed up to your apartment to take care of you.

How were your periods before that ? The worst.

Definitely.

Actual Hell.

Not that they were feeling better now. Oh no. There were time your overdramatic self exclaimed : “uuuugh just kill me alreadyyyy” when the pain was too grand...But you weren’t alone anymore.

That’s what made it a bearable moment of the month.

It still felt as bad as it used to when you were younger.

But it wasn’t just you agonizing in your bedroom all alone anymore.

It wasn’t you wishing you’d have someone to take care of you, and to try and ease the pain. Not anymore.

It wasn’t you crying with nobody to dry your tears anymore...

No. You had an entire army of people right there just for you.

Alfred, your children, and most of all...Bruce.

Your Broosh.

Ah. If only some people could see this side of him you and your family knew. The caring and loving one. In a way though, it was rather comforting and made you feel special, that only you and your kiddos knew the real Bruce ?

Of course nowadays, some of his closest friends like Clark and Diana weren’t fooled anymore either. But they’d never see him the way you did, when you were in unbearable pain, and he was right there, drawing soothing circle on your back, keeping you warm and safe...

This was only privy to you.

Your Broosh.

Yes.

Your periods were still as painful as they used to. But now...

Now you weren’t alone anymore.

The end.

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Hey guys ! I hope you liked this :). As usual, feedbacks and reblogs are always welcomed ! (Especially lately, the reblog ratio seems at its worst haha). And again, I really hope you liked this. I was finally able to sit down and write after weeks of being stuck in a depressed mood, so I’m quite excited about sharing this. But as usual, always a bit nervous that you’ll be disappointed blahblahblah low self-esteem and all that haha... :). I just hope this is to your liking. Thank you.

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