don't slip away from me // six of crows; kanej
Summary:
“Keep talking, Wraith. Don’t slip away from me,” he had said while he was carrying her back to their boat.
“But it’s what I do best.”
He wondered how, even as he was walking towards her, closer to her, it felt like she was slipping away from him, yet again.
┈┈┈┈․° * °․┈┈┈┈
Kaz's POV at the very end of Crooked Kingdom as he watches Inej be reunited with her family, ready to sail away from Ketterdam for good.
Word Count: 658
Link to AO3 post:
Kaz’s hand still tingled from Inej’s touch as she sprinted down the quay, towards her parents.
He wondered what it would feel like to reunite with long-lost family. He would never know himself. He didn’t want to.
Jordie’s ghost seemed to creep around the edges of his vision. Kaz closed his eyes and forced the ghost’s whispers out of his mind. He would never see Jordie again--Pekka Rollins had made sure of that.
Brick by brick.
Monsters like him didn’t dwell on such things. Dirtyhands didn’t have the right.
The Wraith was different. She deserved it. After all that she had been through--the slave ship, Tante Heleen, the Ice Court, himself--she had somehow remained kind and gentle and strong, always seeing the good in everyone.
Kaz wanted to destroy Pekka Rollins for revenge. Inej wanted to hunt human traffickers because it was the right thing to do. Because it was a noble cause. Because she didn’t want others to suffer like she did.
She deserved to be with her family. She deserved to devote her life to hunting down slave ships. She deserved to be free.
He didn’t deserve to be with her, and he sure as hell would not hold her down.
The look in Inej’s eyes as she saw her family on the ship--he had never seen her so startled and speechless before. Inej, the Wraith-- to whom the laws of physics did not apply, who was always light on her feet, who defied gravity--had grabbed onto the sleeves of his suit to steady herself. Kaz could still feel the rapid hammering of her heart when he had put his arms around her, holding her up.
For a moment, he had thought he’d done the wrong thing. Maybe Inej didn’t want to see her parents after all. Maybe he should have asked her before he planned everything.
But now, as he watched the three figures hugging on the distant platform, surrounded by the grey sea, all the poise and the grace of Suli acrobats vanished, he knew it wasn’t a mistake.
A waving hand shot up among the huddled figure, beckoning him to join in on their reunion.
Leave. You have to leave, now. Every fibre in his body urged him to walk away. It wasn’t something foreign to him. He had done it so many times, with Jesper, Wylan, Nina. What made this different?
It was easier to let go.
He could turn away right now. He knew Inej would understand. She was used to it, anyway.
But he had promised her. This was the least he could do.
It was a joke, really, how after the two of them had spent so many hours plotting and taking on jobs together, spent so much time side by side with knives drawn, pistols blazing during the countless attacks, ambushes and heists, watching each others’ backs, he still felt uncertain about something as simple as meeting her parents.
But of course, ‘simple’ had been taken away from them long before they had the chance to grow up.
As he made his way hesitantly across the quay, he couldn’t help but remember what Inej had said to him as she was on the verge of dying in his arms--how long ago was it? A year? Months? The Ice Court heist seemed so long ago.
He had found her, almost lifeless from a wound meant to kill that she made by digging the point of her sharpest dagger into her chest. She was ready to kill herself to avoid dying by the hands of the Dime Lions. She had single-handedly saved them all.
“Keep talking, Wraith. Don’t slip away from me,” he had said while he was carrying her back to their boat.
“But it’s what I do best.”
He wondered how, even as he was walking towards her, closer to her, it felt like she was slipping away from him, yet again.
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all night long the widow sends valentines to bitter friends
all night long the widow sends valentines to all my friends
'cause one good turn deserves another, one good turn deserves another, one good turn deserves another, another, another, a sister, a brother
get fucked
she's got a lot of legs just like a centipede
'cause I'm her kind of girl and she's my kind of boy
she takes a photograph and kisses it goodbye
because everyone everyone everybody dies in the cathedral
everyone everyone everybody dies in the cathedral
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