#might need to change some stuff later idk

[reinedeslys-central]

"Hey, man," Percy's voice lifted over on his left before he felt the tell-tale thwump of his hand landing on his shoulder.

"You got a minute? Let's get drinks, on me-" and so Grover finds himself led away from his project for the tenth time this week, because he would never say no to his best friend if it wasn't something Important.

Miles later, when so much time has passed that neither of them are willing to check the clock, Percy's eyes flicker towards him, but he doesn't look at him. Instead, he looks up out the window to the sky, rapidly darkening but still light out in that inescapable, metropolis way.

"Grover."

"Hmm?"

"Sorry, no, it's-.." Grover angles his body towards him, not sure where Percy is in his mind but not so surprised, either. He sighs.

"Percy."

Percy's eyes lift to his for a breath of a second, then skitter away.

"Grover, was I too much?"

Too - too much? He feels his eyebrows bunch together as he mulls it over. He's not so gauche as to ignore what Percy might be implying here, but he's not so sure anymore.

They don't talk about it much, those years between them now that they can't catch up to. Something slipped and fell and broke, maybe, but with all those conversations they've forced themselves to have, they figured most of it out, he thinks. Enough to know they both still love each other, obviously. Enough to know they never stopped.

Also enough to know they have to say so, when they don't understand each other. Sometimes being blunt stops the ship from sinking, or whatever. So that's what he does.

"Percy. Can you - elaborate. Elaborate, I'm serious, I'm basically drunk by now - "

"Was I too much for you, though?" Percy sounds far away, gazing through the window again. Like he's not here, in Grover's apartment, drunk on cheap beer that he bought that neither of them really like but use as an excuse to see each other when there's no other obvious thing to do, and six hours away from the things they're really supposed to be doing.

"It's nothing - or, well, it is something, I just - you know they preserve all those old messages and things on those servers these days, right? And I was going through those old messages. And I know - I was looking back too, a couple years after, you know, and I just - it was everything. It's not - it seems so simple, and I can't tell if I'm overreacting or underreacting, and looking back now I should've stopped always texting like that and let you go sooner -"

"Hey." He cuts Percy off, because - fuck. Hell, no. He gets what he's talking about now. Percy's friendship style has always been a little - not clingy, exactly, almost so respectful and vulnerable that sometimes it tripped the line into - exactly, 'too much' - but he's not going to say that. He's biased. He won't. He won't hurt him like that. Not just because it's not the whole truth, but also because he knows that if he gives Percy's insecurities an inch, they'll really be miles away by morning.

Anyways. "Percy, are you seriously thinking - we've had years. You know I would've said something." He did, technically. Nevermind, that's a terrible example -

"Okay, not that; Percy, listen to me. You're not too much. You'll never be too much to handle, just as yourself. If being your friend is too much for someone else to handle, then they can damn well tell you about it, alright?"

Percy bobs his head slightly, leaning back against the table, since they've decided to sit on the floor for some reason.

(It's Grover. He's the reason. Percy never acts like he notices, but he probably gets that Grover likes to be grounded most of the time - well, as much as they can be, a gazillion feet in the air, anyway.)

"A dam well, you say?" he suddenly giggles, a little wetly.

"Whatever, man."

They clink bottles and lean back.

It's almost black outside now, that dark shade that's something deeper than indigo, violet.

"Is this about Jason?"

"..No. Not really."

The yellow lighting from the lamps settles around them. Grover feels weighed down by it, anchored to the mat where they're sitting. He watches as Percy curls his fingers around the neck of his bottle.

Cuticles perfectly trimmed and obnoxiously perfect nail beds. The bastard.

"You.. this is - okay." Percy jerks his head up, startled by how sharp Grover's voice suddenly is, probably.

He softens it before trying again. "We were kids, Percy."

The idiot genius in question makes a half-sound of disbelief.

"No, shut up. We were. Whether you were too much or whatever - when else are you supposed to figure out these things? When you're twenty? Now? When else are you supposed to find out how to navigate conversations with people? Look, Percy, whatever's gone down between us - I'm not going to blame you for not being a, hell, fully matured flawless conversationalist at age nine."

"Well, when you say it like that.."

"Oh, I'll say it like that. I'll say it like that every time you need me to grow a seed of perspective into your brain, you strain of seaweed."

That's the thing that gets him to laugh, in the end. Grover watches as Percy's shoulders relax and he curls inwards, shoulders shaking.

"I- I thought only Annabeth was going to call me seaweed, but now I see the market hasn't been cornered-"

"Shut up. Clarisse gives you new nicknames every summer."

"Alright, G-man."

Grover grabs the pink-white striped throw pillow from the sofa, pets it affectionately, and then whips it at his best friend's face. Percy squawks and dives out of the way, and they're lucky their bottles are finished because he tips over both of those too in the mad dash to Grover's bedroom, probably to stock up on more pillows.

Grover stands in the middle of the hallway and dodges the first of Percy's paltry attempts at revenge, then another. When Percy has to stop and pick up his pillows again, eyeing him suspiciously, he retreats to the kitchen.

He grins while grabbing the blue blankets from the supply closet. He's not going down alone.

my writing directory if that's a thing you'd like to check out - I put all my writing posts on there so I can't lose track of them TT

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

[embroidered-inkwells]

i think people who tend to have ideas for years and years and don't write have to realize that there's never going to be a good time, there's never going to be the perfect words, and the more you over plan, the more unrealistic expectations you set for yourself, and the more difficult it is to live up to those so you end up losing momentum. it's good to have longstanding ideas, lord knows i do, but at some point you have to put words to page, no matter how bad you think they are, or else you'll never tell the story you want to, and instead you'll let it live in your head for the rest of your life. which is fine, but you might surprise yourself if you put it on the page

[phagodyke]

so sweaty at work its actually revolting

[katsukiizmoon]

╰┈➤ ꒰🕸🍒┊Explaining | Katsuki Bakugou꒱

Can’t stop thinking about this post by @tired-biscuit and thinking even harder about catching Katsuki one night.

Will this turn into a thing? Maybe— (update from future! me: This is somehow 2.7k. I don’t know if it even makes any sense, mush brain. It’s midnight. Christ. Edited and added a little read more thing)

『♡』 f! reader, best friends to lovers, m masturbation, piv sex, arguing, anxious katsuki for a bit, some praise, fingering, idk guys sex stuff, unedited bc I wrote it half asleep

Katsuki fucks his fist sloppy, chewing on the end of his shirt. Slippery beads of precum well up and spill down the shaft and he circles his thumb over the head.

He chokes back a moan and squeezes harder, slamming his hips forward desperately in need of release. The tension in his body has been pulling like a rubber band for hours. It stretches farther and farther every time.

Tonight was torture for him. You’d worn those stupid shorts and a loose crop top. You never wear a bra under your crop tops, let alone around him.

Every time you’d lift your arms too high he’d get a peek of your pretty tits and jerk his head to the side. Your shorts were no different— showing off the underside of your ass cheeks and tight enough he could just make out the outline of your pussy. Normally both would be fine but, fuck.

His strokes get faster while his mind fuzzes. Lust clouds his thought process as he shoves the guilt to the back of his mind to deal with later. His face feels numb, his lips tingle, the metaphorical rubber band pulls tighter.

Tighter. Like his fist is while it squeezes down on his cock and spreads the precum all over him.

Tighter. Like he’s sure your pussy would be as it was wrapping around him and sucking him with each thrust.

The end of his t shirt is wet and slobbery. A thin sheen of sweat coats his body and the slapping wet noises of his thrusts is getting louder. His brows furrow as he closes overwhelmed eyes. With the sound of the water running in the background he doesn’t even hear you coming.

You’re usually a little loud when you’re sleepy and heading to the bathroom. Your feet amble beneath you without too much sense, body heavy, mind foggy— you’re a sweet little thing when you’re sleepy. One too many times has he woken to you running into walls while trying to get into the bathroom.

But he doesn’t hear you this time.

He pants and whines a little in the back of his throat, sloppily fucking his hand. He’s focused on the thought of you up under him. Sliding your shorts to the side and letting him eat your pussy. Bouncing on his cock in that big shirt you stole from him a year or two ago.

He’s a goddamn mess. The tension and heat in his tummy gets tighter, tighter, until he feels like he might pass out. The world is about to allow him the grace of relief.

And then you sleepily open your bathroom door. You’re still half awake with drool on your face and your eyes hardly open. You’d changed into comfier shorts and kept the crop top, which was now riding up on one side so that your tit was on display.

“Gotsta’ pee,” You blink hazily trying to figure out why your bathroom smells like fresh salted caramel.

He forgot to lock it.

Katsuki is frozen in place. He doesn’t know what to do, say, think— you just walked in on him jacking off in your bathroom. Precum is still dribbling out and all over his hand. He opens his mouth with a red face and lets his shirt drop to cover his abs, quickly shoving his cock into his pajama pants.

And you’re just standing there like you hardly even register what’s going on. Your eyes widen when two and two come together, making four. Watery carmine eyes meet yours as his lips tremble before he’s shoving past you with sparking palms.

He tries to rush out and makes a mad dash to your bedroom to grab his things. Embarrassment and guilt makes him panic, filling his being with a nauseous feeling. And he’s not sure what to do or say.

Does he say sorry? Does he confess? Does he block you and run?

For once, Katsuki doesn’t want to be brave. He is scared and he is tired of being the hero who has no fear. Anxiety makes his fingers shake while tears threaten to spill over his pretty tanned cheeks.

You come rushing around the corner with flushed cheeks and determined hands. Your fingers twist into his shirt and pull him back, spinning him around to face you. It’s a miracle you managed it with how much bigger and stronger he is.

Katsuki’s terrified gaze holds yours with a trembling lower lip. He might be much bigger but right now he feels small.

“Wait, wait, wait. Hey— hey what’s goin’ on?” You coo, pulling him toward your bed to sit. His feet move on their own accord and do as you please. “Why are you leaving?” Fingers twist tighter in his shirt.

The blonde gawks and scrambles for words. Quick breaths leave his lips with little to no time between. Katsuki wants to cry, scream, and just die. You caught him beating his fuckin meat in your bathroom and now you’re comforting him.

“What else m’ I supposed to fuckin do?” He grunts, putting his brave face and frown right back on.

“Get in bed and go back to sleep?” Your head tilts and you say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Katsuki confusedly jerks back with a frown and snort. Thick hands grip his sweatpants for dear life.

“You want me to get in bed with you and go back to sleep after—after that?” The AC kicks on in the background and whirrs to life, sending cool air through the room.

“Yeah? Unless you wanna talk about it now at,” you glance at the clock on the nightstand “, two fourty five in the fucking morning.” You rub your face with your palm.

“I don’t think me jacking off in your bathroom needs explaining.” He spits, flustered and annoyed. His face scrunches up all sour and huffs, the tips of his ears still red.

You sigh and frustration bubbles in his chest.

“What? You can’t seriously want me—“

Your hand presses to his mouth and you shoot him a glare. Exhaustion spreads your features with a huff to shut him up.

“What’s going on? And don’t give me some bullshit. Just tell me what’s going on.” Your tone leaves no room for an argument.

“You and your stupid fuckin— stupid shorts and whiny voice and shit. That’s what’s going on!” He leans in so that his nose is only a few inches from yours and snaps.

“Me?” You mumble, obviously confused.

“Yes, you.” His fingers press near your sternum and poke with a growl.

You squeak and narrow your eyes, moving closer to him yourself and pushing his chest lightly.

“What about you?” You guffaw. You’re not quite wrapping your mind around the situation yet, still tired and not understanding what the big deal is.

And Katsuki nearly loses it. The tension so thick you could cut it with a knife, his mind racing and chest heaving. He’s been dealing with you practically torturing him day in and day out for years— and now you’re asking about him. But before he can speak you start rambling on.

“You run around in these goddamn sweatpants-“ you tug at the grey fabric a little “and you say I’M what’s going on? You still haven’t explained shit!”

Katsuki turns a shade of red you’ve never seen before. He starts noticing your close proximity, the way your breath still smells like toothpaste, your pout. Your lips are an inch away from his and it is taking every little bit of willpower he has to not kiss you.

“Yes.” A puff of air ghosts over your lips and you take in the sight in front of you. Feelings you tried to shove down bubble in your tummy and spread.

The rubber band that’s been winding in his gut and mind for far too long grows tighter. Stretched to the point of which it’ll never be the same.

Heat in your stomach starts to flow and consume your being as things begin to click into place. He was getting off in your bathroom, he said you’re what’s going on.

“Oh..” you breathlessly whisper. Something in you burns. If he feels the same way then.. it couldn’t hurt, could it?

Katsuki jerks his head away from yours and looks to the side. His shoulders tight, grey t shirt with a damp area at the bottoms wrinkling as he fidgets with it. It’s like he’s waiting for the sting of rejection.

You grab his jaw with unsure hands and guide him back to look at you. His big, misty and wide eyes peering into your own.

And then you kiss him.

Snap

All tongue and soft lips, teeth clashing against his from the awkward position. You dig your nails into his chest like he’s gonna float away if you don’t.

And katsuki just might. Because you taste just like he thought you would, your mouth moves against his like he was just fantasizing about before. He soaks in the kiss like it will be his last until you break for air while panting.

“Don’t you ever try to run from me like that again.” You whine and dive back in.

His body acts before he can think enough to stop himself. You fall back against the mattress, plushie beside your head. His thick heavy body presses you into it and weighs you down while big hands travel up and down you. He explores your body like it’s something to be worshipped.

Your own hands push and pull at him. They slide under his shirt and drag nails down his toned, tan back. Your legs open up so he can slot between them with a particularly good suck on his bottom lip.

A breathy moan leaves your lips and it sends fire down his body.

“Fuck— god.” He whines between kisses. The line of his cock presses against you through your thin pajama shorts and makes you antsy. Your fingers grip at Wheaty blond roots and tug.

“Is this— oh,” You can feel him drag against you through his sweats. “ is this what you were thinking about?”

Katsuki shakes his head.

“Close enough.” He gasps, guttural and needy as your teeth nip under his jaw. Your tongue slides down the column of his throat as his clothed cock does against your heat.

“Wanna know what I think about?”

His mind stills and he nods feverishly before diving into the crook of your neck to suck. Pink marks are left in his wake and his fingers slide under the fabric of your shorts to rub little circles on your clit.

It makes you stutter and forget what you’re doing for a moment, your legs shake and squeeze around him.

“Been thinkin’ bout your cock in me—“ your pussy drools all over his fingers and the breath gets punched out of him all at once.

“God you fuckin minx.” He growls and slips a finger into your already soaked core. He feels a little more sure of himself, a little better about it.

Your head throws back when he adds the second finger and curls them up. The pad of his thumb works in little circles and flicking motions rhythmically. You keep making these little noises that send jolts to his cock and make it twitch.

For the second time that night, his cock drools precum. It smears against the inside of his pajama pants and dribbles even more when your eyes go wide.

“Katsuki— god, like that, like that!” You babble until a particular stroke of his thumb has your body tightening and then shaking. Release covers his fingers and he yanks your pajama shorts off your body and throws them to the side.

“Good girl, that’s a good girl.” Thick fingers rub soothing circles over your pussy while he slides his shirt and pants off.

You feel his cock press against your folds and then his face is right above yours. He licks lazily into your mouth, hand coming up under your thighs to guide them around his back where your ankles cross over.

“Shit— y’so wet for me.” He mumbles between kisses and then links a hand with yours, pressing it into the mattress. “You want it? Want my cock?”

“Quit being a tease! Just give me your ohhh” You whimper and gasp, head throwing back and free hand coming to clutch at anything you can get your hands on.

He’s girthy and hot as he fills you up to the brim. There’s not a space untouched by his cock, making you feel so stuffed and out of breath you can hardly move.

“That’s it, you can take it.” He breathes into your mouth.

You slowly adjust to him and as soon as you relax, he pulls his hips back and thrusts. It makes you hiccup and lose your mind. The sheets are much too sweaty, AC be damned, and he looks like a literal god over you.

All tanned muscle and flushed cheeks. His pretty focused face scrunched up in determination not to cum immediately. You’re not sure how much you can take before you tear the sheets apart and scream.

He sets an even pace with his hips before propping your hips up a little and slowing down. It’s slow but it’s deep. His cock head touches something in you that has expletives leaving both your mouths as your nails dig into his shoulders.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-“ he desperately tries to keep hold of sanity. But you taste good, you smell good- better than any of his fantasies. Your pussy wraps around him in ways he couldn’t imagine. You’re really sprawled under him and moaning.

His cock is frothing near the base because of how wet you are, pussy juice and precum sliding between your ass cheeks and onto the bed. Your pink bedsheets are damp and one of your plushies has been thrown off the bed in the midst of your feverish mess.

It doesn’t last long. His face crumples as he cums and he rubs your clit and pussy until you squeeze down on him right after.

His jaw drops into a low “o” when he cums. You thank every lucky star for birth control while you both come down off a high. The two of you lay there and pant for a while before his cock slides out of you and he collapses onto your bed.

“Holy fuck.” Katsuki mutters to no one but himself. Half of him can’t believe it. He feels like icy hot with his back and forth his thoughts are, reeling and trying to take in what happened and what is happening.

“Yeah—“ you roll and press your chest against him. A kiss to his jaw makes his heart throb. “God that was good.”

A thick, beefy arm wraps around you and he hides his face in your neck. He sighs and pulls you in closer.

“I better not be readin’ this shit wrong but..” He mumbles, yanking up the blankets over the two of you. “We’re a thing now right?”

You snort and laugh for a minute.

“Yeah, duh, dummy” You smack his chest and roll your eyes.

The AC finally does it’s job at cooling the two of you off and he grumbles and gets a towel to clean you off. It only takes a few minutes before the two of you are back in pajamas and laying on top of a throw blanket. The massive comforter pulled over the two of you.

You flick on the TV and scroll through some of the go to shows before curling against him with a sigh. When you glance up, you notice a deep frown on his face and grumble.

“What are you looking so pissy for?” You place a peck on his jaw and turn your attention back to the screen.

His big hands run up and down your body, thumbs dragging over your hips. With a look of defeat and a pout, he admits, “Eiji’ bet me a hundred bucks you liked me back.”

That earns him a smack on the chest. “Don’t you dare tell him it’s cause I caught you beating off in my bathroom, Katsuki.”

[angelsafa]

Before asking:

About me:

Safa.

She/her

Born and raised in Spain, spanish

Birthday: 16 july (14 yo, soon 15!!)

loa, void state, non dualism, shifting, etc

So about me... uhm... Idk how to start. I am in an identity crisis right now lol where I am questioning everything, all my belifs and stuff, and that's why I feel so connected to loa and non dualism and I might just change my whole belifs soon hehe.

I am so open minded like I genuinly love to learn and talk about absoultely anything. I have watched from boring ass documentaries to random animes, and I am glad I did.

I am a bit shy actually, like awkardly shy irl but I might just be a yapper here and with people of trust.

This little blog is like a hidden corner in my bedroom where I go to reconnect and feel safe. Love you all.

When I found about manifestation I couldn't be more happy. It was like a dream coming true. I've always lived in my own world and my parents used to call me weird and stuff. I was like the pink sheep of my family (not black, pink bcs its me), always daydreaming, always in my little own world and my parents didn't like that at all. I couldn't care less tbh and always stood up for myself. Til this day we still have a... difficult relationship to put it in some way (I haven't fully changed them when I got into the void, I just made them a little bit less strict). Let's say I had gone thru stuff, especially as a STUBBORN GIRL in an ARAB househould. iykyk.

Anyways and idk what to say more. Oh I shift too! I don't shift often now bcs I'm too lazy, but I did shift to various of my drs. I have a LOT of them. Like a lot. Maybe because Im an indecise person and want to try and do everything. And finding about shifting when I was 11 was like a breath of fresh air to me. In those moments I still didn't know about manifestation, loa and stuff. So I used to shift to my Tokyo Revengers dr and more anime stuff almost every night to escape my family hehe.

Shit I never realize how much I yap. Anyways, I might edit and add more stuff later hehe idc.

Before sending me an ask:

"Can I manifest...?"

-Yes. Yes. Absoultely ANYTHING is possible.

"How do I...?"

-However you want my love. Methods don't matter. That's because the one that has the power and gives it to them is you.

You have literally all you need here:

-Your true self

-How to stop living in this pathetic, sad life and actually live your dream life

-How to manifest ANYTHING

-How to enter the void

-How the void works (simple)

-How to make the watcher/observer vanish

Success stories:

-My void success

-Little story of me and SP

-BTS fan

-Void

-Void + lot of things

(I will edit and make this pretty later guys now Im too lazy heh)

[nerdyramennoodle]

Finished TMA, I know I rarely post but here's a WIP </3

Also here's my ratings and some thoughts I had...

💥SPOILERS💥

S1 8/10

Some of the best statements, slow start and wish we had more time with Sasha and Tim bc of how much we get later on, amazing finale episodes and the second half really picks up by the end I was captivated.

S2 9/10

Amazing starting to learn more lore, loved paranoid Jon and all the Martin stuff we get, the tunnel stuff was actually terrifying and this season really had a great motif with the supplementals idk wether to call this season one of the scariest or funniest. Also Daisy Basira and Melanie slowly becoming more relevant is amazing I love them so much! Also the pay off with Not!Sasha attacking Jon and the Elias reveal is amazing!

S3 10/10

Probably my favorite because of how many gems you get, Episode 100 being hilarious, Michael's backstory, learning Martin and Tim's reasons for getting the job, Tim's connection to the Stranger who has been built up as one of my favorite villians and being personified through Nikola AAHAHH I love this season sm. MY GIRL MELANIE getting so much more time, OMG and the trips Jon goes on to discover more about his connection to the Eye and all the different avatars! Ugh I could gush about this season for hours. The perfect mix of spooky and lore and funny with a tragic ending.

S4 9/10

Still amazing but is docked a point because of how much less Martin and Melanie time you get, also I've never been a fan of the coma trope and was getting skeptical at the beginning but it pays off alot, I love how much Daisy and Basira get here and how much Jon really changes, loosing Tim and essentially loosing Martin is really interesting for his charcter growth and this is the season you can really feel it and SEE it and it also sets up his hero complex he gets for next season, loosing Sasha and Tim really has an important effect on his character. Also they make it so believable how Jon starts to realize he has feelings for Martin and how much he misses him and all the moments you get of him mourning the friendship they had gotten in s3. It's a lot to explore and as much as I was skeptical at first the pay off with Jon changing sm and THE FINALE!! is really worth it. This season also has my personal favorite Finale of all the seasons.

S5 9.5/10

I won't write too much about s5 because I'm still digesting it bc it's alot, but I loved it! The way Jon and Martin's interactions are so realistic and fun to hear, and the impending doom, that you realize half way though, that one or both of them may die is crushing but great. This season also has more scary statments that didnt affect me as much in s4 more like s2 and 3 again. Also love all the stuff the girlies get, and along with s3 hurting my soul so much this season managed to bring me to tears twice, with Daisy, Jon and Martin RIP </3

Overall I love this series so much and I loved listening to it I might listen to protocol now but I need a small break ugh...

📼👁🦷🦴🫀🕸🐈‍⬛☁️

[sims3fiend]

S3SettingsSetter New new version New

I have returned from the grave to do another re-rewrite of Sims 3 Settings Setter! Hopefully the last! The main new features are a pattern detection approach, meaning it should work on any version of the game, and a new platform for some function rewrite optimizations I've done (steam only). Also most importantly includes the ability to set the Streaming settings to throttle lots, reducing stutter dramatically and a patch to make lots load on radius instead of view.

A full write-up below, but here's the main features:

Change "variable" settings ingame: This lets you change things that normally require mods but live ingame, letting you tweak things how you want. This includes things like changing bloom levels, light colors, sunlight brightness, weather (so you can have snow in summer), sunrise times, tweaking shadow distances, etc etc. Highly recommend just playing around to see what can be done. These are now correctly mapped so they should all work correctly.

Change "Config" settings (not ingame): This lets you set any config (graphicsrules.sgr) thing you want, including some that aren't in the original files (idr the name). It also lets you have set presets, and means you can (hopefully) more clearly see what settings you've changed. I will slowly (I've said this before lol) manually add Config and Options settings to the live edit, I haven't found an easy automatic way of doing this unfortunately.

Performance tweaks and notifications: Set notifications for hitting memory thresholds, letting you know before an E12 happens. Improve game performance with tweaks to game code. Uhh, maybe other stuff soon idk

Please note, as this is a new rewrite, this is still a beta. There will probably be bugs, the menu may glitch out, etc. Please also note that some settings may effect things in unexpected ways, if you're not sure what a setting does, maybe try it out in a fresh save first. Generally though, everything is correctly mapped and shouldn't have any lasting negative effects on your game.

BaselinePerformance preset (put into Presets folder and load ingame with File -> Presets). This should reduce stuttering while still being light enough that it wont tank laptop players. Use this instead of my GraphicsRules file please! https://simfileshare.net/download/5333998/

Download: http://www.simfileshare.net/download/5333999/

Source: https://github.com/sims3fiend/Sims3SettingsSetter

\/ More details/blog post/How to use \/

How to use

Installing:

Just like before you 'll need an ASI loader. I recommend dxwrapper but if you're using Smooth Patch that comes with one too. You then just plonk it into your The Sims 3\Game\Bin folder like any other .asi mod and run the game.

Using:

Preset insert to open the UI

The menu should open up, if it doesn't, look in your game directory for hook_log.txt and send it to me x. If you don't have one, chances are your asi loader isn't working correctly.

The settings tab only becomes editable once a game has been loaded (might change this later). These are values that can be edited live ingame and should change something even if that thing isn't immediately obvious.

Most have sliders, the min/max/step are determined by the game itself, but you can set them above/below these values by right clicking

This also lets you "Clear Override" AKA remove it from the ini, or "Reset to Default" which resets it it to default :)

When you've got things how you want, go to file -> save to save them. If you want to make a preset out of them, that's in file too x, presets save things like patches, Config and QoL too, so just be careful. When loading a preset you can chose to Overwrite which basically clears your ini, or merge, which adds that preset on top of your current settings.

Everything else should be pretty easy to figure out idk

What's new/blog

New function approach for live edit

I actually properly looked at the code flow and found a neat vtable that had, essentially, what I was dreaming of when I made the version version of this. The function gives the name, min, max, step and address of incoming variable manager controlled settings, which is rly rly good! A much more sane and easy to develop for approach than the manually mapping out address spaces approach I was taking before!

Patterns

I've tried to use patterns for the most part, this means finding the function and trying to write a "pattern" of bytes that matches both main versions of the game (Steam and EA). This can be pretty tricky as you have to be specific enough that you don't get false positives while being loose enough to get both versions. It seems to work on both EA/Steam version (with the exception of the patches), but please let me know if it doesn't.

Patches

NERD ZONE NERD ZONE SKIP THIS PART

These will primarily be direct naked ASM patches to functions, and I'll probably be keeping them exclusive to the steam version of the game unless there's something that's a substantial improvement, as the EA one has been compiled differently so different instructions are used, meaning I'd have to write two patches. You can probably skip using them for now if I'm being honest, I have a bunch in the works but these mostly suck.

Point intersection patch

Essentially this is a hand written naked ASM patch for the point intersection code TS3 uses, this is used for nav meshing IIRC, and was the first proper one of these I did after seeing it in vtuner. Sadly, It's not really going to be noticeable at all, maybe a second faster load on custom maps, as they bulk call it during load. IIRC non-custom ones also call it during sims moving but I could be wrong as I wrote this aaages ago and didn't keep great notes. It has a lot of stuff in it and does achieve a very substantial boost vs the default function as a result, it's just that the function isn't really a cause of lag (though is on the render thread IIRC so..). It achieves the performance boost by I guess nearly fully rewriting it, I added an early exit, use prefetchnta, switched to SIMD, lddqu, shufps, fast paths… idk these are all words that mean nothing to basically everyone reading this including me but I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

Target Framerate

Changes what I can only assume is the games framerate target, it seems to interact w/ the frame buffer. I haven't noticed any noticeable difference but give it a go! This one may desync things in theory but I haven't noticed so 🤷 lol actually this makes animations slow down for some reason so I've removed it oops, need to look into this more.

Lot Visibility

Disables the games check for if a lot is in view, instead it should just load based on the radius around the camera. This is a the patch in Stutter Reducerer so if you're using that you don't need this (just enable Lot Throttling under streaming)

LZ Optimization (not released)

This is basically the point intersection but for the games main package decompression (RefPack) implementation. I… am/was a bit of a dunce with this, for whatever reason my original implementation was focused on large reads using AVX,SSE, etc… Now, the issue is… LZ does small (1-4) byte reads… so… I'm in the process of rewriting it once more. Plan to uroll the functions and do idk like MOVZX I think would be huge, simplifying the flow, etc etc.

The performance gain might actually be somewhat noticeable for this as this function is used in gameplay quite a bit. How you might ask? Well, every single lot that is loaded reads and extracts files for every object in that lot every single time it is loaded, in excess of 40mb/s with that being several hundreds of thousands of calls (some files are very small, and refpack also is byte-by-byte). This is all also done on the render thread, so the game has to wait for this to do its thing (and several other functions) before it renders the next frame. Very good very fun.

Multithreading (maybe eventually)

I've tried but no real luck, I've had some "success" but mostly it's been failures. I do have some interesting things I want to look at, especially related to lot loading so we'll see what the future holds. I think some degree of multithreading for the render thread would be incredibly huge.

Other patches

I have like 10 other ones that are not quite ready yet but should help, hopefully I'll just trickle them out but I think waiting until I can get them working properly is probably dumb.

Coming soon:

Stuff that I'm working on I swear I promise!!! It's coming!

UI QoL - There's a lot wrong with it.

"Options" category support. This is tricky as changing these settings directly writes them to the .ini file in documents for some reason

Several patches

A system for automatic performance tweaks like reducing active lots to 0 when loading, then throttle-loading them back once game has loaded, or automatically reducing settings related to object caps, etc.

More live-edit settings. There's a bunch I want to add it's just annoying. Most are static values though but having to find patterns that find them for both versions is rly annoying. Things like RenderSimLODDistances, FogDistances, the Script category…etc. If you have any requests lmk!

The ini file is kinda ugly garbage horrible to look at

Need to figure out why these have min/max/step like, is there some sort of debug ui I'm missing out on? It seems like there is but idk how to trigger it, gunna be pissed if it's something obvious

[natsuslover]

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆࣪ ִֶָ☾. eren bf headcanons

notes— i was rereading the 7 mins frat boy eren fanfic so YK i had to write some headcanons for my fav (i miss him like a mf every single day oh my shaylaaa). also the way ive never written for aot before is insane bc i love it sm

ft. eren yeager (jaeger?)

warnings: mild cursing idk, just wholesome fluff very sfw

first of all bro thinks he’s all nonchalant and mysterious or wtv but he’s such a softie (for u teehee)

like he’ll act like he doesn’t gaf but absolutely has ur coffee order memorized after one date

yk “just in case”

the kind of guy to be like “whatever” and then have a whole spotify playlist for u

doesn’t say “i love you” but def says shit like “don’t do anything dumb while i’m not here” and expects u to decipher it

and then gets pissed off when u don’t like tf

love language is PHYSICAL TOUCHHH

cannot stress this enough hb LOVES being physically close to u

bc he’s obv not that great at expressing his affection through words (emotionally immature dumbass)

constant back of the neck kisses when ur talking to other ppl

or hugs from behind

like “yeah this one’s mine”

always always casually has his hand somewhere on u

on ur thigh when ur sitting or ur lower back when ur walking through a crowd

also he sleeps like a cat on top of u omfg

like cuddling into the crook of ur neck and everything

and he refuses to get off bro does not care if u can’t breathe lmao

but if u somehow manage to detach him from ur body he makes sure his leg is touching urs at least

literally can’t fall asleep otherwise

he pretends he doesn’t get jealous but he’s actually just in denial

“i’m not jealous, i just think that dudes a clown”

def reposts and says random cryptic shit on instagram stories w a black screen

like “loyalty isn’t hard if u actually care”

thinks he eats it up every time too like he’s 100% thinking “oh yeah my girl gonna love this one” 💀

will pick u up from class with zero notice if he senses even a whisper of competition

can’t text for shit bc man just ISN’T the greatest communicator yk

u either get no reply for 17 hours and then a whole ass essay about his day

or a little “wya” at 2 am with no context and no punctuation (maybe a red heart too if he’s feeling cute)

screenshots every single meme he gets that he thinks u would like but doesn’t send them until like 2 weeks later when he’s feeling soft

like the way he’s normal one week and then a complete utter soft lover boy the next you’d think he’s ovulating

weirdly sentimental but pretends he’s just a chill guy

keeps ur hair tie on his wrist like it’s a war trophy

in fact he might have multiple just in case u ever need one

his lockscreen is fs gonna be some shitty ass picture of u that he refuses to change

like prob some blurry pic of u flipping him off or sum and he thinks it’s adorable

found an old hoodie of yours once and wore it for a week straight bc it smelled like u

and he pretended he didn’t notice

he’s SUCH a hothead it’s insane

will without a doubt square up for u in a parking lot if someone makes u even the slightest bit uncomfy

terrible at arguments bc he ends up getting flustered every time and says dumb shit like “well maybe i do care ok stfu!”

but softens immediately if u cry bc he doesn’t know how to handle it and feels guilty asf

“okok im sorry come here don’t cry ur gonna make me panic”

a fantastic hugger tho

he’s ur ride or die period

literally will go to the ends of the earth for u and u don’t even have to ask

would fight a god for u no hesitation

will eradicate 80% of humanity for u even

doesn’t trust easily but once ur in ur his person for life

says stuff like “ur all i’ve got so please don’t leave” when he’s feeling especially vulnerable

mostly during those deep 3 am talks or post breakdown cuddles

he loves u fully

struggles expressing it in words but the actions explain themselves

once ur his ur really HIS bros never leaving u alone

[ahotknife]

idk if u have answered this but do you have thoughts about adam’s sexuality pre canon or even like…pre bllb? i see people talk about ronan and k (thoughts on kavinsky as a character I would love to hear your opinion of him) but you are super intelligent and always provide a perspective I haven’t considered before so i would like to know your thoughts

sure thing. in my opinion, at the beginning of his arc, adam’s not really aware of himself in a few crucial ways because there are a lot of things he feels he has to suppress (impulsivity, anger, vulnerability, weakness, tenderness) and by doing so he ends up keeping most of himself under wraps. he does exhibit textual interest in boys/men during trb/tdt (greenmantle, declan, the J Crew ad, ronan), just as he exhibits textual interest in girls/women (blue, helen, the psychics, his past classmates). we see him use more overt language in his observations of blue because that is where the focus of his desire is, but his attraction to multiple genders is definitely woven into his fabric from the get go. as a boy growing up in an abusive home and attending a private school in virginia in the early 00s, it’s not necessarily a conversation he would ever have out loud or with himself. adam’s entire narrative arc is about him coming to terms with who he is and what he wants. often we see adam imagining himself as unknowable, unlovable, the kind of person who will be perpetually unsatisfied and alone; he is inherently cynical and prone to self isolation for a number of reasons. despite this, all his friends do end up knowing him. ronan famously knows him best of all, but there are some other terrific moments where gansey and blue and persephone identify things within him that he had either not known or tried to hide. i think adam puts a lot of work into being okay with himself throughout the series. he has to accept the good and bad, the things he can’t change, the things that were born into him and the things he brought himself up to be. he is mean, he is glum, he is short-tempered, he is materialistic, he is pragmatic to the point it occasionally renders him without empathy, he is manipulative & cunning. he is also deeply insecure. he is also smart and tenacious and loyal and resourceful and a dozen other things he struggles to give himself credit for. he does, very explicitly in the text, come to terms with the fact that not only is he lovable, he is capable of loving in return. i think his sexuality was never really a sticking point in the formation of his identity/psyche. adam is pretty okay with the fact he’s got an appetite. he watches declan talk to his girlfriend and takes notes. he thinks about kissing blue, he thinks about blue’s body. the second he and ronan decide they’re going to be Something, they stay up all night and make out with their shirts off. like let’s be so for real: he’s not afraid of sex or sexuality in the human sense. i think the more important thing, for him, was coming to understand that he was not #builtdifferent. at first he thinks that there is something fundamentally wrong with him that would prevent him from ever truly being A Real Boy; later we see him being almost smug about the fact he is wantable, worthy of a crush, preferable to someone even over gansey (!). the gender of that person was never really a concern—it was the fact that person might never exist at all. i don’t think it was necessary for him to look in the mirror and say “you like boys”, i think the necessary thing was for him to look at himself and say “there is nothing wrong with you”. which he does! sort of. there’s plenty wrong with him. he’s a freak. but also: he accepts that. in my opinion he’s got the most cohesive, thorough, and meaningful arc of the core 4, and that includes coming into himself as a queer adult (in a way that suits him as a character). just terrific stuff. adam parrish, the man that you are…

my thoughts on kavinsky: he needed to exist, he served his narrative purpose, he is now dead. and he probably did not have three balls

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

‘It’s different from the books’ sure it’s different but are you judging elements based on how they fit within the new transformative narrative that the show adaptation is presenting? Or are you purely judging each element based on how different it is from the books?

Does the new narrative that the show is telling have cohesive arcs and structure that work within its specific logic? Do the elements present, intentionally different or inspired or lifted directly from the books, work together to tell a story that shares most of the same overall themes and important story beats as the entire book series? Are they setting up the long term development of character arcs well?

Or are you just mad your favorite character isn’t just saying all their lines from the book directly and we need to have the ‘characters aren’t people regardless of our parasocial attachment to them, they’re storytelling tools that fill roles within a narrative conflict’ conversation again? Like, neither the author(s) nor the book characters themselves are gonna fuck you, just so we’re clear.

Mat having a weakness for helping and protecting children, Perrin being traumatized about using the axe as a weapon and worried about harming people he loves, Rand wanting to help men who can channel, everything about Egwene’s late stage character arc, Nynaeve’s innate potential and her constant early struggle with her unconsciously blocking that immense power away from herself have all been set up extremely well in the show, and all by making some pretty distinct changes from the books.

And every wot fan agrees that the books are not perfect in various ways, rearranging and tightening of the plot was always going to be necessary in an adaptation, let alone in one that is only allowed to span 8 seasons. But the main beats of the story are all there, and individual changes to characterization and the specific roles that characters play for certain bits of the narrative are not bad just because they’re different and I simply can’t take any criticism of the show that doesn’t account for that seriously.

Also like. Can we stop blaming the writers for stuff that is fully the producers’ fault. Season 1 episode 1 and episode 8 both got fucked over on rewrites and/or covid restrictions during filming, so the pacing and execution is kinda fucky there, but that’s not on the writing team. The rest of season one the pacing is better and better yet in season two, which honestly was kind of a banger start to finish.

The development in s2 of all the themes around channelers losing access to the power or autonomy over their channeling and the griefs of outliving your loved ones were explored so well, and all those ideas are very important for the rest of the plot from later in the books. And the choice to introduce all the forsaken sooner and develop them more than is present in the early books was brilliant, they’re incredibly effective and engaging villains and the show is utilizing them to full effect. Shit rules. I’m stoked for s3 for a lot of reasons but especially for more forsaken shenanigans.

When I want to reread the books I’ll reread the books. I’m doing that right now and having a great time. But I’m glad the show is different in a lot of ways and I like the way they’re reading the original text, including by changing the stuff that makes wot one of those book series you can’t really recommend without an asterisk because RJ’s grasp on feminism and queerness and gender theory was. Loose at best.

Idk man, just treat adaptations of books you love as really high budget fanfiction produced by a team of people who all care about the original text but are also of course gonna put their spin on it, and you might have a more enjoyable time watching them.

Howl’s Moving Castle by Miyazaki? Fanfiction.

NBC Hannibal? Gay Fanfiction.

The Wheel of Time on Prime? That’s right, it’s increasingly higher budget fantasy fanfiction with less gender essentialism, extra emphasis on all the milfy magical politics, and queer subtext made text, hell yeah.

[chromakpopia]

🎉🦇 Happy BATday 🦇🎉

happiest of (early) birthdays to joey 🥹 i hope he knows he’s so talented and admired, and he’s literally the goat (imo) <33 and yes this is someone based off of joe getting a bat mobile…BUT ALAS! joe is so sweet and amazing and regardless of how tonight’s game goes, i hope this awesome, sexy, talented, cute, sweet, iconic, LEGENDARY man has the bestest 28th birthday in the world because that’s what he deserves! 🧡

description: a bulleted blurb where you surprise joe with a lego set and…something else for his birthday ;)

warnings: fluff, suggestive (smut implication), cut-off at the end), reader cosplays (?) as catwoman, implied roleplay…maybe more, idk-

• so, joe’s birthday was coming up. and unfortunately for you…

• you had no idea what to get him.

• you give him gifts surrounding his interests all the time!

• you give him star wars stuff, dinosaur pajamas, etc.

• one time, you gifted him a science kit that he saw in the store one day.

• nerd.

• but it was so heartwarming, seeing his eyes light up like a kid on christmas day. how could you not spoil him?

• even when he protested, saying “babe, i really don’t need anything”

• which he does mean, but truthfully, he’d never turn down a gift from you.

• this year? you had no fucking clue what to gift him.

• you were almost tempted to just cook a nice meal and chill with him (lameeee)

• but you decided to make an effort!

• he is your beloved boyfriend after all

• so you decide to call up ja’marr.

• ring ring

• he picks up, and you ask him what on earth to get joe for his bday

• “well…he likes star wars-”

• “already gave him a star wars gift.”

• “uh, dinosaurs-”

• “he has a t-rex onesie.”

• “spongebob-”

• “no.” (joe has way too much spongebob stuff)

• “man, i don’t know. i mean…he bought a bat mobile, but that won’t come until later-”

• “wait, ja’marr…say that again.”

• “…that again.”

• “…i’m hanging up.”

• “hold on-”

• you hung up. besides, you had an idea anyway.

• that’s when you grab your purse and head to the nearest store; besides, a lego bat mobile set must be common.

• sure enough, you found one!

• but…surely one measly lego set wouldn’t be enough…

• you wanted to do something different. bold even.

• after purchasing the lego set, you immediately went on the hunt for a latex bodysuit.

• that’s right. you wanted to add an element of surprise, and dress as catwoman.

• it’s different

• but it’s quite fitting

• + you might be able to give joe some good birthday sex!

• finally, you found a bodysuit of good quality and wasted no time ordering it.

• this was going to be good.

• timeskip to joe’s birthday.

• he returns from practice, and he’s a bit sweaty (yuck)

• you give him pat on the shoulder, ushering him to hurry and take a shower so he can receive his gift.

• so he does.

• when he comes back, you hold the bag out to him, wishing him a happy birthday.

• you watch him open it, and he pulls out some candy that you knew he liked

• he pulls out a pair of soft batman socks you also got him (he wears socks everywhere)

• and finally, the lego bat mobile set

• his eyes lit up like a big lightbulb, he was so happy.

• though he slowly looks at you.

• “what’s with the batman stuff?”

• “well…i heard through the grapevine you bought an actual bat mobile. so i thought this lego one would suffice until your real one came in.”

• joe pouted. he was going to whoop ja’marr’s ass later.

• nonetheless, you laughed and pat joe’s head.

• “relax…besides, i have one more gift. but you gotta close your eyes.”

• confused, but intrigued, joe closes his eyes.

• you head into a nearby bathroom and change into the latex bodysuit.

• you were nervous, despite having already tried it on

• because what if he didn’t like it?

• (you knew he’d like it. i mean, it’s an excuse for him to gawk at you.)

• once you secure the cat ears, you sigh, heading back out and standing in front of joe.

• “okay. you can look now.”

• joe slowly opened his eyes and…

• holy shit.

• his eyes widened so wide, and his jaw practically dropped to the floor

• “no way…are you-”

• “catwoman? yes~.”

• joe took his time to look over your body.

• the way the latex hugged every single curve you had

• he’d be LYING if he said he wasn’t turned on.

• he very much was, as he smirked at you.

• “god damn, baby…this might be the best gift yet.”

• “yeah?”

• he stood up and nodded, his hands seeking a spot on your waist.

• he needed you. like…now.

• “how about we get to the bedroom…? and you keep this on?”

• “what, you like it that much?”

• “yeah…but…i have a little idea. maybe some acting, if you will.

• you laughed, picking up what he was putting down.

• “sure…as long as you don’t lift a single finger. this is your birthday, remember?”

• “yeah, yeah, i know.”

• with that, he scooped you into his arms, and carried you off into your guys' shared room.

————

WOOOOOO happy joe dayyyy 🤸🏾‍♀️🧡 i’m posting this earlier so we can cry later if we lose and not stress about posting ^^

[olderthannetfic]

Ayyy, there seems to be a lot of older people among the regular commenters of this blog so I'm gonna shoot my shot and ask for advice.

Idk if it's just the clinical depression but I can't help but feel like I'm never gonna find love as a straight girl. I don't hate men at all -- I've been very lucky to be surrounded by decent dudes growing up but shit. Lookin at the state of the world rn... Gen Z dudes chugging misogynist bullshit at alarming rates, women like Gisele Pelicot going through unspeakable shit from their own husbands... it's hard not to feel cynical. On top of that the decent dudes I know irl are all taken, I don't wanna go on dating apps, and as much as I wanna fuck an older man no decent one is gonna settle for a depressed young woman who's a 4 at best...

It's not that i don't have fulfilling friendships or that I don't value them, I just want to love and care for (and get dicked down by) a decent guy who feels the same way. I've always wanted that and I don't think it's changing anytime soon. Feels impossible though. I'm not sure if I'm the problem (I'm plain faced at best, no fashion sense or charm to speak of, though I do my best to be polite and kind) or there's just shit going on I've no control over.

--

People will give you a lot of placating nonsense, but the reality is that the supply of reasonably okay straight women is much higher than the supply of reasonably okay straight men. Finding a fulfilling long-term relationship is always hard anyway, but man... straight guys really need to step it up.

That said, a lot of people in general and straight guys in particular learn a lot from the breakdown of their first marriage/long-term relationship. Just because a guy is listening to godawful manosphere podcasts today doesn't mean he's never going to be dateable later.

Research on dating apps suggests that your average guy responds to pics where women have a lot of makeup on by looking for a hookup, passes by the ones with no makeup, and finds the ones with a little lipstick or something but not heavy makeup the most dateable.

While it would be nice if appearance didn't matter, if you're really worried about this, there are some basic things you can do where you'll get a lot of bang for your buck: Find one lipstick you can stand and learn to apply it. I like Bésame Cosmetics because I am a nerd and they sponsored a local film noir festival. Peggy Carter's lipstick was from them. They have the advantage of being intensely pigmented, so a quick swipe gives full coverage. I hate having shit on my face in general, so that's helpful. If eye stuff is less bleurgghhhh than lip stuff, learn to apply eyeliner instead. There are some liquid ones I really like even if it takes some practice to get decent at painting them on. You don't need a full face of makeup or really much of anything to read as Hot Girl™ to people who don't know anything about makeup and aren't paying much attention. Yes, even if you're a 4 and it's not just the depression talking.

Charm is hard. Some things can be taught, but a lot of that's innate. Fashion, however, is not. You don't need to be a fashionista to look better than a lot of the people around you. Save your money for fewer, better outfits. Buy things that fit well and get things tailored. Don't settle for ill-fitting clothes that don't make you feel good. Look for natural fibers and clothing that will last a long time. (And if you think you have sensitive skin that cannot handle natural fibers, you need to go up several price points on your cotton. Just saying.)

You can also increase your chances by doing activities where you meet more people who might be a good match. This means finding hobbies that actually have straight guys in them and going to in-person things where you meet new people. (This sounds obvious and pedantic, but I cannot tell you how many women I know who want a boyfriend but only do social things that are 95% women and 5% gay men.)

But the biggest thing you can do to stand out is... well... work on that depression. Self confidence and obviously being in a good place in your life are very attractive. Also, the good catches who haven't been snapped up tend to be the quiet, shy people. If you have your own shit together enough to detect and pursue them, you have a better chance of finding someone great.

I get that ~fix your depression~ is not helpful advice, but working on yourself in both important and relatively superficial ways is something you can control. Meeting the right person is not.

It might help to look at this as a 5-10-year goal and/or a lifetime goal, not a "Oh my god, my life sucks this year" problem. Yes, there's shit going on that you have no control over, but if that's your career and mental health and so on, you can work on that and be in a different place in a few years.

Frankly, I think a certain amount of cynicism is warranted, but that doesn't mean there are no decent guys or that you'll never find one.

[gold-rhine]

so i finally watched the nod krai livestream, and it has some talk about nod krai, inspirations, factions, etc, the usual stuff, but the interesting part to me was about narrative reasons behind adding nod krai at all and also strategic change in storytelling direction

so, they said that basically they realized that they have shitton of unexplored lore and a lot of plotlines and character arcs that were planted in all the regions, but not advanced bc hoyo were rushing things. so they decided to take time and dedicate the nod krai timeline to "tying up loose threads". which is huge win , they should have been doing it long ago, but better later than never i guess. this also means mond quest is not a fluke, but a part of this direction and i think lantern rite that explored hu tao's backstory also fits

also, they said that they are reevaluating their methods of presenting lore, that long descriptions hidden in books are inaccessible to most players, and and they want to instead give players lore through gameplay experiences, and also they want to clarify their lore bc they see a lot of batshit theories. HUGE WIN, I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR AGES THEY NEED TO DO THIS. the dark souls method of storytelling doesn't even work for dark souls, the youtube DS\elden ring lore videos industrial complex is clear indication - like 95% players are not engaged in game, they either ignore it altogether or watch youtube videos with conspiracy theories. the puzzling together lore and plot from hidden descriptions is valid storytelling method, but not for all games. i love sunless sea, cultist simulator, book of hours where main gameplay is doing conspiracy board from cryptic texts and metaphors, and even more narrative oriented games like disco elysium and planescape torment can pull it off bc text is already the main gameplay medium in these games, but genshin is just completely different genre and they are not using the medium to its advantage with long text lore dumps in random shit.

also, they said they want to move away from sequestering stories into world quests and character quests, and have overarching interconnected main narrative. which is a tentative W depending on execution. isolating lore in story quests and so this lore not being able to to be used in main quests is a long time problem. in fontaine its excellent world quests would simply be fun to be included, but natlan id say suffers enormously from locking all saurian and dragon related lore in world quests. both archon quests and world quests end up feeling shallow. what the fuck was that abyss pyro dragon fight out of nowhere. but if they turn it into long ass boring blah blah sessions like hsr's amphoreues then no thank you. really will depend on execution.

they also said they want to explore things that only genshin can do, like having characters be present in the world and tell stories through interactions with them. previously they couldn't do that bc devices couldn't handle it, but now its possible. the traveler tales event was their first experiment with that. if you've been there, you know i LOVED that event, the way they weaved several interconnected narratives from casual quick encounters, explored characters' relationships, including the ones i never knew i needed to see, like cloud retainer and razor. or gave depth to previously only hinted things, like i always assumed qiqi and yao yao were hanging together bc they are two liyue kid characters, but their plotline really opened it up and the finale was so bittersweet and touching, and all that for characters i frankly never gave a fuck about.

but that type of storytelling will depend hugely on execution, you need to have a very firm handle of the narrative direction, pacing, sense of what is enough set up and when pay it off. if they do it right, this will be a BANGER, but with bad execution it might end up worse than traditional boring quests. idk we'll see

[priestly-prince]

OK SO I've been talking with friends about a sort of OFF setting which isn't quite an AU but technically is. Something I like to call "before world".

It kinda discards things like coma or dream theory, and much of the word of god stuff too, and is basically my interpretation of the world/setting of OFF taken at face value.

So, before the "end of the world" we see in The Room, there was the old world. There are many worlds out there in a sort of multiverse, each one made by a "creator", a race of near god-like beings that aren't quite omnipotent, but are pretty close. The queen is one of these beings, and also Hugo later on.

So, the queen created the before world to her liking. The creators can make places, people, creatures and concepts, but once created they cannot be changed later through force of will, and must be affected by normal effort instead. For example, the queen could create a mountain to her specifications through her will, but in order to be removed it would have to be mined and quarried and demolished through ordinary means.

ANYWAY, her world was peaceful for a while, but eventually the spectres began showing up. Nobody really knows how, perhaps they came from another world, but they arrived nonetheless. So, in order to help protect herself and her world, she created her own protector. A queen needs her knight, after all. And so she creates the Batter.

However, he was created rather hastily and imprecisely. He's somewhat flawed, and very obviously not a complete "person". He's basically a sentient weapon. A shield in humanoid form. Made only for violence. His only purpose to serve and protect the queen, utterly devoted to his duty to her. He has no real agency outside of her wishes. Much of the "story" I attribute to this world/setting is the struggle of the queen trying to humanise Batter, and him trying to learn something other than his bloodlust.

I have a whole plotline kinda pinned out in my head, which I might draft out someday, but idk.

Also I made some very slight design changes just to differentiate him from OFF Batter. Namely being: No jersey No cap Full boots instead of shoes

No major changes, just enough to set him apart from OFF.

Part of me wants him to have a name, but I think that would humanise him too much. Just being the Batter reinforces the idea of him being a faux-person.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Hi so this is my first ever request idk if I’m supposed to ask from somewhere else but I was wondering if you could do a Bau find out reader has a criminal past that got expunged or something please?

Hiya, I feel like this absolutely ages to do, I'm so sorry but hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Description: Reader has a slightly colourful history

Warnings: discussions of previous criminal activity when reader was a minor (theft/burglary, drugs hinted at if you squint, beating up individuals), guns mentioned, death of someone reader knows, child abuse mentioned (nothing 'on screen')

You look at the photos in front of you. A John Doe, about ten years older than you. Swallowing slightly, you try to build up the courage to tell the team you know him. That you know exactly who this man was.

"You okay, kid?" Morgan asks, you look up, giving a quick nod.

"Oh, er, yeah. Yeah, I just, I know him." You know they're going to ask questions, but that's the last thing you want right now. You don't want to explain. You don't want to tell them. They'd look at you differently. Part of you worried they'd no longer even want you on the team.

Hotch frowns, studying your expression. "You know him?"

"Yeah." You clear your throat slightly. "Er, his name's Ryan Williams."

"How did you know him?"

You look away from Hotch, back to the photo. "We... worked together,"

You watch the team raise an eyebrow. "Worked together?" Prentiss asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep."

"And what was this job?" Rossi chimed in.

"Um..." You pause, trying to figure out how to word it. "It, er..."

You try to ignore the team furrowing their eyebrows and frowning at you. "It...?" Morgan said, looking at you expectantly.

"It might have something to do with a man named Chris Miller," You said, trying to change the topic as much as you could.

"And this Chris Miller, what's he like?"

"Oh, an absolute dickhead." You paused, clearing your throat when you remembered you were supposed to be professional. "I mean, we had our differences."

The team exchanged a concerned glance. "(Y/N), you're going to need to be transparent with us."

"What- about what?"

"How you know Williams."

"I told you, I know him from work."

"And the truth?"

You look at the team, debating whether or not this was a good idea. It probably wasn't, but you knew Hotch wasn't exactly going to drop the topic. "We did work together. Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"It's a little complicated." You said, giving a small shrug. "We worked for a man, Chris Miller. We'd also work closely with his son, Danny."

"What sort of work?"

"Odd jobs. Whatever needed doing." You said, swallowing slightly. "Delivering packages, picking things up."

"And?"

"And, what?"

"There was clearly more." Hotch stated. "And don't think we don't know what what sort of 'packages' you're talking about."

"Look, we did some shitty stuff." You gave a small shrug. You try to act nonchalant about it. You weren't proud of your past. You focus your attention on the table in front, finding it easier to look at that, rather than the disappointed gazes of your team. You didn't want to see them look at you differently.

"Like what?"

"We stole stuff, bikes, cars, broke into a house once or twice." You admitted, a light blush tinting your cheeks in shame. "You got a cut of whatever the total of what you took."

"You burgled."

"Technically, yes." You answered, voice hesitant. Hotch frowned, eyebrows drawing in.

"Anything else?"

"We were told to rough some guys up a few times." You admitted. You hear Garcia draw in a sharp breath.

"And this Chris, how did you know him?"

"He was the ring leader." You answered, "You did what he told you, no questions asked."

"And Ryan?"

"He also worked for Chris."

Two days later, it was revealed that the unsub was in fact Danny Miller. Once it was established that he was the one doing the killing, finding him was fairly easy. And the next afternoon you had him surrounded in a warehouse, trying to talk him down.

"Danny." You say, walking into the room. Danny's attention is immediately on you, as is his gun. "Danny, you need to put the gun down."

"Don't act like you're any better than me, (Y/N)." Danny snapped.

"Danny, just- come on, man. Just put the gun down." You give a sigh, watching the older man's slightly shaking hand.

"You're not better than me." Danny growls.

Knowing Hotch and Morgan weren't exactly going to put their weapons down, you lowered yours. "Come on, Danny. Don't be an idiot. Just put it down."

"You don't know what he was like." Danny glared, hand still trembling. "He was a son of a bitch."

"I know, Danny. I know."

"No you don't!" Danny exclaimed, gun now pointing at you. Morgan's finger itched near the trigger, just in case.

"Then tell me."

"You know how your dad was?" You feel Hotch and Morgan's eyes flick to you for a split second. You swallow.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, well he was worse."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You got out." Danny jabbed the gun towards you as he snarled.

"If you do this, you let him win." You state, "If you pull that trigger and my team mates shoot you, he's won. He's won and you won't get to look him in the eye and tell him how much of a bastard he is."

It takes a few more minutes, but it's the thought of spiting his father that gets Danny to lower the gun and Morgan immediately pounces, cuffing him.

Hotch wait until you're all flying back on the jet before he approaches you about the topic, with the team all trying their best to look like they're not listening. But for profilers, they can't act for shit.

"We need to talk about your previous record." Hotch stated, placing a file in front you you. "I had Garcia unseal the records."

"That's not fair."

"During the interviewing process you were specifically asked if you had a criminal record."

"It was all expunged-"

"(Y/N), that's irrelevant, I still should have been told,"

"Except it doesn't exist anymore, Hotch." You rub a hand over your face, wishing that you had just stayed home.

"It still matters,"

"No, it doesn't, I was a kid." You say, "I was fifteen, I made some stupid decisions to try and survive,"

"(Y/N)-"

"No, Hotch, it doesn't matter. It doesn't exist anymore."

"It was still important for me to know."

"Why? Why was it so important? I was- I was fifteen,"

"It's important because it still happened."

"I was just trying to survive." You looked at him. "I was just trying to survive. I went about it the wrong way, yes. And I'm not proud of it by any means, but I was fifteen and I didn't know what else to do."

"You still should have declared it."

"Do I still have this job?"

"Excuse me?" Hotch asked, frowning in confusion.

"Am I fired?"

"No."

"Then, respectfully sir, it was expunged. It doesn't exist anymore, my slate is clean. And you getting Garcia to unseal the records was unfair, unnecessary, and hurtful." You state, pausing for a short breath. "To me, that means that everything I've worked hard for - proving myself in this job - immediately went out the window the second you learnt something negative about my past."

And with that, you turn your head, deciding to look out of the window instead, signaling to your boss that the conversation was over.