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#might update later but for now this is fine
taylorfromthestars · 5 months
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Making another one of these bc my last one FLOPPEDDDDD
10 notes and I'll ask my brother for a hug
20 notes and I'll work on my costume every weekend until the convention
50 notes and I'll try to drink atleast 1 liter of water every day
100 notes and I'll eat atleast 2 meals a day
150 notes and I'll come out to my cousins (on my dad's side)
250 notes and I'll come out to my OTHER cousins (mum's side)
500 notes and I'll come out to my grandparents (mum's side)
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mossyflowers · 10 months
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KILLING DISCORD RIGHT NOW ARE YOU SHITTING ME
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kryobug · 9 months
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: ̗̀➛🍮 INTRO POST ☆ 。.,
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୨♡୧ Haiii my name's Phoebe but you may also call me Niles!!! ୨♡୧ I'm 16yrs old rn so please don't be weird in my dms or askbox ୨♡୧ I'm from Peru so English isn't my first language!!! Sorry for any typos or grammar errors (though some are on purpose) ୨♡୧ I might post my art here tho I'm more active on my Twitter and I also have a discord u can ask 4 it idc!!! I like making friends I'm just kinda shy ୨♡୧ DNI if you're proship or anything like that it weirds me out, if you mainly interact with MiHoYo games, or if you're under 14 or over 24. ୨♡୧ Feel free to ask to be moots or friends like I said I love talkin to ppl I'm just kinda shy!!! ୨♡୧ Uhmmm I think that's it idk! I block people I find weird or just don't want to interact with. Sometimes I forget why I block tho so u can ask for an unblock if u want idc ୨♡୧ OH ALSO my biggest fixations right now are; Identity V, Reverse: 1999, One Piece, Fear and Hunger (1&2), Daft Punk, The Go! Team, and uhhh I think that's it. I like seals and sharks too btw ୨♡୧ I'm Fictionkin + Otherkin too btw!!! I have very limited knowledge on the last one but it does align with my experiences sooo yeah!!!
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༊*·˚ Read my StrawPage if you want mooore stuff though its best viewed on desktop and also it might be a bit hard to read sorry, but everything I've said here is what you need to know the most when interacting with me!!! * ˚ ✦
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kethabali · 3 months
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omg how does this happen everytime i go to do one thing i do like 3 thats why i stopped monitoring my chores so heavily bc i realized it gets done automatically anytime i get up in my house lmao not all at once like i keep trying to plan for but regardless within the week everything usually gets done to some extent
#🧃#most likely its adhd#hey as long as shit gets done im not mad about how it happens#hello update 3 hours later i went into the kitchen to make a sandwich (didn't happen) but i washed all the dishes in my fridge instead#threw out all the old food in there#also doing a load of laundry currently#you know it might be bc im taking my meds regularly again that i can slow down a minute to think#usually i come to one rash conclusion and that conclusion is usually that nothing can be done#but now im taking more time and letting go of the perfectionist desire which in turn is helping me to make things around me more “perfect”#not perfect as in flawless just better living conditions#improvements are happening when i let go of the perfectionist thing and looked for alternatives even if its not what i wanted originally#im learning about how to accept when things cant go how i want and sitting with the disappointment and frustration#and thats helping me regulate and manage my emotions and therefore also my decisions#and making decisions that make things better down the line sooner then if i decided well it didnt go how i want so i wont do it at all#which makes me stressed for a longer period of time#so feeling the disappointment and going through with plan B actually helps things be better later#i always assume if i get disappointed upset or sad i will be that way forever#idk which of my disorders thats a result of but now im realizing its okay for things to go bad its not gonna be the end of Everything#i think that stems from parental abuse tbh bc one small thing leads to a whole day of misery sometimes and that carries on and gets worse#with every new abuse but after 1.5 years im finally Actually seeing that in fact things will be just fine no matter what bc theres no one#breathing down my neck other than well capitalism and colonialism#the biggest abusers of all time lol
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malusrecord · 1 year
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((Pinned has been updated and so has the overall font (size, color, etc) for the blog itself so please let me know if there are any issues.))
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katsukiizmoon · 1 year
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╰┈➤ ꒰🕸🍒┊Explaining | Katsuki Bakugou꒱
Can’t stop thinking about this post by @tired-biscuit and thinking even harder about catching Katsuki one night.
Will this turn into a thing? Maybe— (update from future! me: This is somehow 2.7k. I don’t know if it even makes any sense, mush brain. It’s midnight. Christ. Edited and added a little read more thing)
『♡』 f! reader, best friends to lovers, m masturbation, piv sex, arguing, anxious katsuki for a bit, some praise, fingering, idk guys sex stuff, unedited bc I wrote it half asleep
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Katsuki fucks his fist sloppy, chewing on the end of his shirt. Slippery beads of precum well up and spill down the shaft and he circles his thumb over the head.
He chokes back a moan and squeezes harder, slamming his hips forward desperately in need of release. The tension in his body has been pulling like a rubber band for hours. It stretches farther and farther every time.
Tonight was torture for him. You’d worn those stupid shorts and a loose crop top. You never wear a bra under your crop tops, let alone around him.
Every time you’d lift your arms too high he’d get a peek of your pretty tits and jerk his head to the side. Your shorts were no different— showing off the underside of your ass cheeks and tight enough he could just make out the outline of your pussy. Normally both would be fine but, fuck.
His strokes get faster while his mind fuzzes. Lust clouds his thought process as he shoves the guilt to the back of his mind to deal with later. His face feels numb, his lips tingle, the metaphorical rubber band pulls tighter.
Tighter. Like his fist is while it squeezes down on his cock and spreads the precum all over him.
Tighter. Like he’s sure your pussy would be as it was wrapping around him and sucking him with each thrust.
The end of his t shirt is wet and slobbery. A thin sheen of sweat coats his body and the slapping wet noises of his thrusts is getting louder. His brows furrow as he closes overwhelmed eyes. With the sound of the water running in the background he doesn’t even hear you coming.
You’re usually a little loud when you’re sleepy and heading to the bathroom. Your feet amble beneath you without too much sense, body heavy, mind foggy— you’re a sweet little thing when you’re sleepy. One too many times has he woken to you running into walls while trying to get into the bathroom.
But he doesn’t hear you this time.
He pants and whines a little in the back of his throat, sloppily fucking his hand. He’s focused on the thought of you up under him. Sliding your shorts to the side and letting him eat your pussy. Bouncing on his cock in that big shirt you stole from him a year or two ago.
He’s a goddamn mess. The tension and heat in his tummy gets tighter, tighter, until he feels like he might pass out. The world is about to allow him the grace of relief.
And then you sleepily open your bathroom door. You’re still half awake with drool on your face and your eyes hardly open. You’d changed into comfier shorts and kept the crop top, which was now riding up on one side so that your tit was on display.
“Gotsta’ pee,” You blink hazily trying to figure out why your bathroom smells like fresh salted caramel.
He forgot to lock it.
Katsuki is frozen in place. He doesn’t know what to do, say, think— you just walked in on him jacking off in your bathroom. Precum is still dribbling out and all over his hand. He opens his mouth with a red face and lets his shirt drop to cover his abs, quickly shoving his cock into his pajama pants.
And you’re just standing there like you hardly even register what’s going on. Your eyes widen when two and two come together, making four. Watery carmine eyes meet yours as his lips tremble before he’s shoving past you with sparking palms.
He tries to rush out and makes a mad dash to your bedroom to grab his things. Embarrassment and guilt makes him panic, filling his being with a nauseous feeling. And he’s not sure what to do or say.
Does he say sorry? Does he confess? Does he block you and run?
For once, Katsuki doesn’t want to be brave. He is scared and he is tired of being the hero who has no fear. Anxiety makes his fingers shake while tears threaten to spill over his pretty tanned cheeks.
You come rushing around the corner with flushed cheeks and determined hands. Your fingers twist into his shirt and pull him back, spinning him around to face you. It’s a miracle you managed it with how much bigger and stronger he is.
Katsuki’s terrified gaze holds yours with a trembling lower lip. He might be much bigger but right now he feels small.
“Wait, wait, wait. Hey— hey what’s goin’ on?” You coo, pulling him toward your bed to sit. His feet move on their own accord and do as you please. “Why are you leaving?” Fingers twist tighter in his shirt.
The blonde gawks and scrambles for words. Quick breaths leave his lips with little to no time between. Katsuki wants to cry, scream, and just die. You caught him beating his fuckin meat in your bathroom and now you’re comforting him.
“What else m’ I supposed to fuckin do?” He grunts, putting his brave face and frown right back on.
“Get in bed and go back to sleep?” Your head tilts and you say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Katsuki confusedly jerks back with a frown and snort. Thick hands grip his sweatpants for dear life.
“You want me to get in bed with you and go back to sleep after—after that?” The AC kicks on in the background and whirrs to life, sending cool air through the room.
“Yeah? Unless you wanna talk about it now at,” you glance at the clock on the nightstand “, two fourty five in the fucking morning.” You rub your face with your palm.
“I don’t think me jacking off in your bathroom needs explaining.” He spits, flustered and annoyed. His face scrunches up all sour and huffs, the tips of his ears still red.
You sigh and frustration bubbles in his chest.
“What? You can’t seriously want me—“
Your hand presses to his mouth and you shoot him a glare. Exhaustion spreads your features with a huff to shut him up.
“What’s going on? And don’t give me some bullshit. Just tell me what’s going on.” Your tone leaves no room for an argument.
“You and your stupid fuckin— stupid shorts and whiny voice and shit. That’s what’s going on!” He leans in so that his nose is only a few inches from yours and snaps.
“Me?” You mumble, obviously confused.
“Yes, you.” His fingers press near your sternum and poke with a growl.
You squeak and narrow your eyes, moving closer to him yourself and pushing his chest lightly.
“What about you?” You guffaw. You’re not quite wrapping your mind around the situation yet, still tired and not understanding what the big deal is.
And Katsuki nearly loses it. The tension so thick you could cut it with a knife, his mind racing and chest heaving. He’s been dealing with you practically torturing him day in and day out for years— and now you’re asking about him. But before he can speak you start rambling on.
“You run around in these goddamn sweatpants-“ you tug at the grey fabric a little “and you say I’M what’s going on? You still haven’t explained shit!”
Katsuki turns a shade of red you’ve never seen before. He starts noticing your close proximity, the way your breath still smells like toothpaste, your pout. Your lips are an inch away from his and it is taking every little bit of willpower he has to not kiss you.
“Yes.” A puff of air ghosts over your lips and you take in the sight in front of you. Feelings you tried to shove down bubble in your tummy and spread.
The rubber band that’s been winding in his gut and mind for far too long grows tighter. Stretched to the point of which it’ll never be the same.
Heat in your stomach starts to flow and consume your being as things begin to click into place. He was getting off in your bathroom, he said you’re what’s going on.
“Oh..” you breathlessly whisper. Something in you burns. If he feels the same way then.. it couldn’t hurt, could it?
Katsuki jerks his head away from yours and looks to the side. His shoulders tight, grey t shirt with a damp area at the bottoms wrinkling as he fidgets with it. It’s like he’s waiting for the sting of rejection.
You grab his jaw with unsure hands and guide him back to look at you. His big, misty and wide eyes peering into your own.
And then you kiss him.
Snap
All tongue and soft lips, teeth clashing against his from the awkward position. You dig your nails into his chest like he’s gonna float away if you don’t.
And katsuki just might. Because you taste just like he thought you would, your mouth moves against his like he was just fantasizing about before. He soaks in the kiss like it will be his last until you break for air while panting.
“Don’t you ever try to run from me like that again.” You whine and dive back in.
His body acts before he can think enough to stop himself. You fall back against the mattress, plushie beside your head. His thick heavy body presses you into it and weighs you down while big hands travel up and down you. He explores your body like it’s something to be worshipped.
Your own hands push and pull at him. They slide under his shirt and drag nails down his toned, tan back. Your legs open up so he can slot between them with a particularly good suck on his bottom lip.
A breathy moan leaves your lips and it sends fire down his body.
“Fuck— god.” He whines between kisses. The line of his cock presses against you through your thin pajama shorts and makes you antsy. Your fingers grip at Wheaty blond roots and tug.
“Is this— oh,” You can feel him drag against you through his sweats. “ is this what you were thinking about?”
Katsuki shakes his head.
“Close enough.” He gasps, guttural and needy as your teeth nip under his jaw. Your tongue slides down the column of his throat as his clothed cock does against your heat.
“Wanna know what I think about?”
His mind stills and he nods feverishly before diving into the crook of your neck to suck. Pink marks are left in his wake and his fingers slide under the fabric of your shorts to rub little circles on your clit.
It makes you stutter and forget what you’re doing for a moment, your legs shake and squeeze around him.
“Been thinkin’ bout your cock in me—“ your pussy drools all over his fingers and the breath gets punched out of him all at once.
“God you fuckin minx.” He growls and slips a finger into your already soaked core. He feels a little more sure of himself, a little better about it.
Your head throws back when he adds the second finger and curls them up. The pad of his thumb works in little circles and flicking motions rhythmically. You keep making these little noises that send jolts to his cock and make it twitch.
For the second time that night, his cock drools precum. It smears against the inside of his pajama pants and dribbles even more when your eyes go wide.
“Katsuki— god, like that, like that!” You babble until a particular stroke of his thumb has your body tightening and then shaking. Release covers his fingers and he yanks your pajama shorts off your body and throws them to the side.
“Good girl, that’s a good girl.” Thick fingers rub soothing circles over your pussy while he slides his shirt and pants off.
You feel his cock press against your folds and then his face is right above yours. He licks lazily into your mouth, hand coming up under your thighs to guide them around his back where your ankles cross over.
“Shit— y’so wet for me.” He mumbles between kisses and then links a hand with yours, pressing it into the mattress. “You want it? Want my cock?”
“Quit being a tease! Just give me your ohhh” You whimper and gasp, head throwing back and free hand coming to clutch at anything you can get your hands on.
He’s girthy and hot as he fills you up to the brim. There’s not a space untouched by his cock, making you feel so stuffed and out of breath you can hardly move.
“That’s it, you can take it.” He breathes into your mouth.
You slowly adjust to him and as soon as you relax, he pulls his hips back and thrusts. It makes you hiccup and lose your mind. The sheets are much too sweaty, AC be damned, and he looks like a literal god over you.
All tanned muscle and flushed cheeks. His pretty focused face scrunched up in determination not to cum immediately. You’re not sure how much you can take before you tear the sheets apart and scream.
He sets an even pace with his hips before propping your hips up a little and slowing down. It’s slow but it’s deep. His cock head touches something in you that has expletives leaving both your mouths as your nails dig into his shoulders.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-“ he desperately tries to keep hold of sanity. But you taste good, you smell good- better than any of his fantasies. Your pussy wraps around him in ways he couldn’t imagine. You’re really sprawled under him and moaning.
His cock is frothing near the base because of how wet you are, pussy juice and precum sliding between your ass cheeks and onto the bed. Your pink bedsheets are damp and one of your plushies has been thrown off the bed in the midst of your feverish mess.
It doesn’t last long. His face crumples as he cums and he rubs your clit and pussy until you squeeze down on him right after.
His jaw drops into a low “o” when he cums. You thank every lucky star for birth control while you both come down off a high. The two of you lay there and pant for a while before his cock slides out of you and he collapses onto your bed.
“Holy fuck.” Katsuki mutters to no one but himself. Half of him can’t believe it. He feels like icy hot with his back and forth his thoughts are, reeling and trying to take in what happened and what is happening.
“Yeah—“ you roll and press your chest against him. A kiss to his jaw makes his heart throb. “God that was good.”
A thick, beefy arm wraps around you and he hides his face in your neck. He sighs and pulls you in closer.
“I better not be readin’ this shit wrong but..” He mumbles, yanking up the blankets over the two of you. “We’re a thing now right?”
You snort and laugh for a minute.
“Yeah, duh, dummy” You smack his chest and roll your eyes.
The AC finally does it’s job at cooling the two of you off and he grumbles and gets a towel to clean you off. It only takes a few minutes before the two of you are back in pajamas and laying on top of a throw blanket. The massive comforter pulled over the two of you.
You flick on the TV and scroll through some of the go to shows before curling against him with a sigh. When you glance up, you notice a deep frown on his face and grumble.
“What are you looking so pissy for?” You place a peck on his jaw and turn your attention back to the screen.
His big hands run up and down your body, thumbs dragging over your hips. With a look of defeat and a pout, he admits, “Eiji’ bet me a hundred bucks you liked me back.”
That earns him a smack on the chest. “Don’t you dare tell him it’s cause I caught you beating off in my bathroom, Katsuki.”
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redflagshipwriter · 3 months
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Fast Car Masterpost and Prologue
dead on main fic, intro + four chapters.
Summary: The Red Hood starts off his righteous campaign with a lot of nerve but no legal identification that will let him behind the wheel of a car. Public transportation really doesn't have the panache he needs to start off as a fearsome crime lord, so he needs a driver. He finds Danny Fenton, a grungly college student trying not to be noticed by any government agencies or vigilantes.
to subscribe to this post, on mobile open the notes and click the bell on the upper right hand corner of the post. on desktop, open the notes at the bottom and press the bell on the right edge of the notes.
Links will be added to chapter list as the story posts. Chapter one will go up on July 14th. Updates are approximately every other day.
LINKS/ chapter count
chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4
prologue
“No, Habibi,” Talia said calmly into the phone. “I will not falsify you an American non-commercial driver's license for motor vehicles. If you cannot prove yourself to Gotham without American motor vehicle operating permissions, you will never prove yourself. Rise above this challenge.” Talia covered the phone for a second but he could hear her talking to someone else about tile options.
“It's an unnecessary challenge,” Jason argued, doing his level best not to let his tone go up. It was undignified to whine. He was a man now. “The important parts of the challenge are the tactical planning and the skills.”
Talia sounded like she was filing her nails. “Tactically plan to take the bus. Or walk. Walking is free and healthy.” 
Jason made an indignant sound but she mercilessly hung up. The worst! She made the top three of his worst mother figures, easily.
“She's just doing this so I can't go drinking.” He scowled into the air. “I don't even want to!” His voice broke mid whine, which was an insult to add to all the injuries visited upon him by the cruel whims of women who weren't even his legal guardian. He was an adult in most countries!
The worst part was that Talia didn't care about underage drinking. She just didn't want to hear shit about enabling him from Bruce when he eventually figured out that Jason was alive, 19, and in Gotham. His passport claimed he was 21 because it had to for him to travel alone, but she knew damn well no one used their passport as ID in bars. 
He couldn't just go get a license. Jason sulked viciously and threw himself into fixing his plans to accommodate for this. 
He was legally dead and living under a fake name. If he tried to sign up for the driving exam, it'd be too much scrutiny on his paperwork. But he was not taking the bus around as a crime lord. It lacked panache. More importantly, it didn't go where he wanted it to go.
Fine. He didn't need her help. He didn't need anyone's help. He just needed to download Uber. 
That was how Jason wound up wiping a mob lieutenant’s blood off of his hand onto his pants so that he could use the guy's touch screen phone. Victor Woodward's account put in a request for a ride to the Gotham police headquarters. He killed time kicking ass in all the Words with Friends games that Victor had ongoing, which was really gonna surprise anyone who normally played with that boob. Victor’s last ever play was ‘cat,’ for fuck’s sake.
A few minutes later, a skinny teenager pulled up in his clanker and opened the door. Jason put on a smile and hefted his duffle bag a little higher on his shoulder. 
“Hi! Victor?” The guy, Danny, waved his phone at Jason.
“That's me!” Jason lied breezily. “Can I put this in the trunk?” 
“Go for it.” Danny popped the trunk open from inside the car. He watched Jason with his big blue doe eyes.
For an instant, Jason thought that Danny might have seen something. Paranoia reared up. Was there blood visible? Was it easy to tell that the shapes in the bag were heads?”
The moment passed. Danny cleared his throat and whipped his face forwards again. “Normally I say to sit in the backseat, but I'm not sure that's enough room for your legs. Either is fine.” 
Jason got in the car and let satisfaction wash over his body as the weirdly timid kid pulled them out into traffic at a snail’s pace. Whatever. They wouldn’t get stopped for a traffic violation when the driver was cautious.
He’d done it. His debut as the terrifying Red Hood, hunter of the wicked and bane of the Batman, was launched. And he didn’t need a license to do it.
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writingmeraki · 4 months
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hurt hearts — k.mg drabble.
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❝ in which you learn mingyu has a big heart ( and chest—) and he's terribly hurt while you might just beat the shit out of him.
( or mingyu's heart was already yours before you even knew it )
pairing : secret!agent mingyu x secret!agent reader, acquaintances stage. genre : fluff, angsty. warnings : mentions of injuries, treating wounds ( inaccurate forgive me🙏) mingyu ( he's a warning ).
a/n : the double update as promised hehe also the pic is not even related to the drabble but I just had to use it yk?? thank you to @etherealyoungk for feeding my delusions. also this got angsty quite quick 😭 ???( might do a summer fic with this mingyu hehehe ) pls I was also like naurr why is it so sad suddenly but eh it's fine. take this as some sort of teaser for the full secret agent mingyu fic I guess! and yes I will never get fed up of writing these two <3 let me know what you think of this mwah 💌
word count : 2.7k
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“Are you fucking stupid?!?”
Silence enveloped the room as you asked in a voice laced with agitation.
It was all whispers of panic and chaos while you took in the scene in front of you, quiet and in your thoughts, but the more you thought of it, the more you got enraged.
“Do you even realise what could have happened?"
It seemed as though the wound on his chest was glaring at you as you spoke, unable to look away from it as it continued to bleed. You winced, frowning more as you shook your head.
Mingyu, on the other hand, like the true annoyance he was, blinked in surprise as he heard you cuss. It was rare you did, it was rare you talked actually, choosing to only answer in small replies.
Or maybe you just hated him because he swears he’s seen you not only talk but also laugh and giggle with Vernon and Chan, even Seungcheol!
He didn’t want to admit it before but now he can, he absolutely disliked the fact that you were more nonchalant to him than any other person. Was he the problem?
No, no negative thoughts right now. Perhaps you were just shy around him.
Right because a shy person would definitely be glaring at him with all the rage enough to just burn him with a gaze.
Who was he trying to convince? You hated him and for all he knew, he was just a nuisance in your life.
“Where’s Wonwoo?! Is Dr.Jeon not there?” You sat him down on the lounge chair in the agency building. It was supposed to mimic how an actual office building would be, hence they even did the extra and added the typical reception desk and waiting area at the ground floor.
Wonwoo? Since when were you on a first name basis with Wonwoo?
He frowned at that, he didn't want to admit it but it annoyed him just a little. Though. He did have other bigger problems right now.
Like the gash on his upper chest that was bleeding. But it seemed the adrenaline had dimmed down the pain. It felt more numb if anything.
“He-he left. I mean his shift is over there's no one—”
“How the fuck is there no other doctor on duty?! In a fucking place like this you'd expect at least one how—”
You pinched your nose and took a deep breath. You were on the verge of possibly killing someone.
Mingyu was bleeding and you needed to think.
“Seungkwan. Get me the first aid kit. Chan, go get some water. And you-”
You looked back at Mingyu in question,
“Can you walk?”
Instead of answering, he nodded curtly, not really wanting to provoke you than he already had. He knew when and where to speak up when he should. At least sometimes he did.
“Great, let's go to my room.”
[ A few moments later ]
Your office space was very…you. It was like a reflection of what he thinks you are.
Your artefacts, some polaroids with people in few and more so sceneries. It resembled a lot of you but also not enough to satisfy his curiosity. He wanted to know more.
He sat down on the sofa, a light pink coloured one, one that stood out in the monochrome room. But it was nice. It was pretty.
He also thinks you look pretty, even though you were tense, eyebrows scrunched as you cut the bandage tape precisely.
You look pretty all the time though.
“I'll need you to remove your shirt.”
Mingyu would love to hear so much from you, and wanted to hear you say so many things for him. This was one of them for sure, but definitely not in the circumstances he wishes.
“I-what? ” He chokes up, immediately sitting up from his leaned back position, one you forced him into when he came there.
You put down the bandage after you finished, looking at him with an eyebrow raised, now crossing your arms.
“How else do you want me to treat your wound?”
“You're-you’ll be treating it?”
“Does it look like there's anyone else right now who can? If you're scared, just trust me, I uh- I have experience from treating my own and others as well.”
You said it firmly because you realised the unsurety in his voice might be right. He didn't know that you knew basic first aid and actually more, it was a requirement for most agents but perhaps it was different here.
Mingyu did trust you. That wasn't what he doubted. He doubted himself, whether he'd be able to handle you touching him in any way. He's terrified he might pass out.
“Okay, now I'll need you to actually remove your shirt, I'll help if you-”
“NO!-uh no I'll do it myself.”
He immediately raised his hands and began unbuttoning, as the shirt got more loose, you focused on how the wound was.
It was a slice, not a stab luckily, so it wouldn't have caused as much damage as a stab would. But it still was damage that hurt.
He hissed in pain as his shirt moved away from his hurt chest, the wound being open to the air.
Slowly, he removed his other arm and finally got his blood soaked shirt out. He questioned where to put it without saying anything as he looked around but you just grabbed it and tossed it in the dustbin.
It was one of his favourites.
Seeing the slight pout on his face, you rolled your eyes because of course, Mingyu would find that to be an issue and not the fact that he was bleeding out.
“I'll get you another one.”
That made him look up at you, to which his eyes widened,
“Uh no I-”
“Shut up.”
You finished preparing the cotton to clean up his wound first, you turned to face him and for a brief moment you paused.
You didn't expect what was in front of you. Mingyu being shirtless was expected of course, but his toned torso and wait…were those abs??
You cleared your throat when you realised you might have been staring a little too long.
It wasn't like you weren't used to seeing people with muscular bodies or so. It was natural in your field for people to be fit.
But Mingyu. Holy shit, he looked like someone personally took their time on him.
“Uhm, okay so I'll just clean up your wound first and then disinfect it, then just bandage it up alright?”
Your voice sounded a lot less angry than before. Actually it sounded more timid if anything. It made Mingyu both shocked and curious as to why suddenly you'd seem so…nervous?
You moved to sit beside him, trying your best to not let your eyes waver more than they already have.
Unfortunately for you, fortunate for Mingyu, your eyes did wander and in fact lingered a little too long on his exposed chest. Along with his torso.
And he noticed.
And he realised.
Gulping slightly, no ordinary person would know but Mingyu did and the glint in his eyes shifted to something more confident, you raised your hand and gently began to clean the open wound.
It seemed it was not as deep as you initially thought.
Holy shit, I'm touching his chest.
You're not a teenager for goodness sake pull yourself together?!???
But his chest is buff and so- fuck. Fucking hell.
Your internal thoughts were in conflict as you cleaned up his wound, not even realising you were going over a place that was already cleaned.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed yours and you were startled out of your conflict.
“You already cleaned it enough,” Mingyu had to bite his tongue to not slip out any sort of pet names but that didn't stop the small smirk on his face from seeing your somewhat composed demeanour be a little thrown off by his sudden nakedness.
His hand holding yours made it seem like you were burning. It burned when he touched you.
And how would one react to a burn?
They'd move far away from the cause of said burn.
You pulled your hand out and stood up quickly,
“Right, right, I was just uh- making sure. I wouldn't want any infections or anything like that.”
You turned back to your first aid kit, turning your back on him and slightly shook your head.
Pull yourself together. He's just…a guy.
But was he really just any guy?
He was Kim Mingyu. The guy who caused you more stress than anything. The same guy who also would bother you a lot during missions.
And yet he was also the same guy who saved you today. You were ambushed during the mission and outnumbered.
It was you against six. You could handle them practically speaking but you also would have your attention split more than it should be. Meaning you wouldn't be prepared for a seventh guy from out of nowhere.
But Mingyu happened to be able to come there. On time too. As though he was keeping up with you despite being in another room with another problem.
What you didn't know was how quickly he made it out of that room when he heard you were ambushed. How he felt his heart drop when he heard you yelp in pain when you got attacked out of nowhere. How he couldn't actually care about the rest of the mission after that and what he cared about most was getting you out of there. Safely.
He knew perhaps it was risky to have jumped in front of you when you were going to get stabbed but darn it be him than you anytime.
Luckily you were also quick enough to make sure he wasn't actually stabbed and pushed him aside as you gained the extra hand and were able to take down the ambusher.
You were not at all happy with what he did. In fact, going as far as to not talking to him till you reached the agency because you were boiling in rage.
“You know you shouldn't have jumped in between like that.”
You said as you soaked up the cotton in hydrogen peroxide.
“But you would have gotten terribly hurt.” Mingyu frowned at your words. The doubt from before raising as to why you'd been so upset with him when he actually saved you.
“Yes but that would be my fault. I would get hurt in my own fight. I'd bleed and patch it up myself. There would be no one else hurt but me.”
You turned to face him, holding the cotton in your hand as you walked up again towards him.
“Not you who got hurt because of me. I wouldn't feel the…the guilt. You got hurt. Because of me.”
His eyes softened upon hearing your words. It made sense now. You were feeling guilty and that's why you'd been so upset. He thinks he'd feel the same too if you were to get hurt somehow because of him.
“I'm…I'm sorry I didn't think about that but I couldn't just sit back and let you get hurt knowingly, I just, I couldn't do that. Not to you.”
You sat back down to your original position, now having completely different emotions than before. But you weren't sure which you preferred because the current ones were only making you feel more worse if anything.
Lightly pressing the soaked cotton on his open wound, he hissed in pain as the alcohol came in contact with his open skin.
“It's fine Mingyu, you don't need to explain, I get it. I'd also do it. Thank you for…saving me.”
You don't need to thank me.I'd only do it for you though. I'd risk anything for you.
But instead he could only gasp in pain as you continued to clean,
“Yeah, what a time to say thank you when you're causing me only more pain.”
You rolled your eyes at his words but felt a little bad for him due to knowing the pain of hydrogen peroxide to an exposed wound.
“Oh, shut up now you big baby, this will help you.”
“Baby? Are we moving on to pet names now?”
“What??? I didn't- I didn't mean it that-”
“Oh I know, I was just messing with you.”
“You-!”
After a bit more cleaning and more arguing, you got up and grabbed the bandage.
“Now how will I wrap this?”
You questioned as you held it. He also got up, feeling a bit better but you still warned him not to move to much as the wound was not yet wrapped.
Then you got the idea of how to wrap it.
“Listen, what I'll do is wrap this around your entire chest, like the entire upper part alright? I don't have anything else besides this right now but it'll help temporarily. Tomorrow you go and get it properly dressed from Wonwoo.”
He nodded obediently and it was slightly cute as to how he almost resembled a little puppy quietly following instructions. Though you could see him getting tired from the way his eyes seemed to drift.
“I'll do it as quick as I can.”
And quickly you did, already wrapping over the wound enough,to the point Mimgyu had to tell you he felt like he couldn't breath and that's when you stopped.
No sign of blood.
You noted as you taped over the left over end part on the right side of his chest.
For this part, you were very close to him, to ensure the best precision. He was just glad it wasn't the left side of his chest or else you'd definitely feel how fast his heartbeat was going from the moment you got closer.
Mingyu likes you. Like really really likes you. You who stayed behind and treated his wound. You who felt guilty for him getting hurt for something he chose to do.
He thinks in this situation no matter how hurt he got, he was now sure about you. More specifically liking you.
“There. All done.” You patted down his chest lightly as you moved a little behind but before you could properly go, his hand out of nowhere held your own and pulled you closer.
It was unexpected so you couldn't help but stumble a bit as your eyes widened.
You were very close. Too close in fact you were sure if you moved a bit more closer, you might just end up kissing him.
It didn't seem like too bad of an idea.
“Mingyu, what are you doing?”
“I just, I want to tell you thank you for helping me out right now, properly.”
He smiled softly at you, his canines slightly peaking from beneath his closed lip smile and you swore you felt your body flush.
He looked…as handsome as he always did. Brown eyes shimmering in all sorts of emotions, lips a shade of pretty pink.
But you couldn't. You couldn't dare. Not now.
Clearing your throat, you pulled back and stepped behind, your body suddenly feeling a weird coldness from the sudden distance.
On the other hand, Minghu seemed confused. Did he push too far? He didn't mean to, he didn't want to rush anything, he just wanted to properly say thank you like actually say it and not do anything-
“It's alright. I hope you get better soon. I'll call Seungkwan to get you a shirt. You can get changed here. I'll just leave now, it's late anyways and you should to.”
“Have a goodnight agent Kim.”
Agent…Kim? Not even Mingyu?
Before he could even question your change of behaviour, you'd already moved out of your room as if you life depended on it.
As if you'd rather be anywhere but there.
As if you suddenly remembered your dislike towards him.
“Wait! Y/—”
Sighing out, in likely relief as you got out of your office, you made your way down to the lobby.
You couldn't help but feel the guilt, if not even more at how you left Mingyu just because you were a coward. Just because you didn't want to admit how he made you feel.
You couldn't do that to him. Not at this moment.
And perhaps you couldn't do that to him ever, for Kim Mingyu deserves the best.
And that was surely not you.
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evanbi-ckley · 5 days
Text
Buck walks through the automatic doors on autopilot and freezes. It hits him then that the last time he stood here, he was meeting Tommy for Maddie and Chim’s wedding. He had stood almost in this very spot and kissed his boyfriend who was covered in soot after fighting a wildfire all night and most of the day.
Now his boyfriend is somewhere else in the hospital, and Buck can’t kiss him or touch him, and his hands are shaking, and he thinks he’s going to be sick.
He turns toward the nearest bathroom and makes it into the stall just in time. He hasn’t eaten yet today, so he’s only throwing up bile mixed with panic and regret, but it’s just as bad.
It’s Hen who finds him, which -
“Why are you in the men’s room?” he asks, his voice weak and still creaky.
“I thought you might need a medical professional.” When Buck just looks at her, she continues with a sigh, “We could hear you in the waiting room. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh.” That’s a little embarrassing. “Sorry. And thanks.”
He gratefully accepts the wet paper towel she hands him to wipe his face.
“Any news yet?”
“Not yet. They took him back for surgery, and it’ll probably be a few more hours before we hear. Bobby and Eddie are in the waiting room if there’s an update. Chim went to pick up Jee from daycare, but he’ll be back later with Maddie.”
Then she produces a water bottle from somewhere behind her.
“How long have I been in here?” Buck asks. Hen seems way too prepared for it to have been just a few minutes.
“About half an hour,” she says. “Actually closer to 45 minutes now.”
“Right.”
So time is still moving awkwardly. He can’t get his bearings. He feels untethered, like he’ll never be on solid ground again.
“Why don’t we get you up and out to a chair?” Hen asks gently. She’s not treating him with kid gloves, but she is being more careful than necessary.
He decides to accept it for the time being. Maybe he does need the softness in her voice and the kindness in her eyes right now.
“Yeah - yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks, Hen.”
She smiles with something like relief and then stands, offering Buck a hand up.
The waiting room is blessedly empty save for their morose party. Buck tries to sit down, but before he can, Hen is pulling at his turnout coat, trying to yank it off his shoulders. She manhandles the coat off and tosses it to Eddie who adds it to the growing pile of coats on an unused chair in the corner. He’s too tired to fight it or question it, plus it was getting heavy with all of the rain still soaked into the fabric. 
After that, Hen leaves to call Karen, and Ravi goes to get food for them all at a little cafe just up the road that they’ve come to know well. 
Buck sits between Bobby and Eddie, almost a mockery of them standing at the crash site, holding him up. Best not to think about it.
Eddie holds a phone in his hands that Buck recognizes, but it’s not Eddie’s phone. The screen is cracked at the upper corner, spider-webbing its way diagonally down the length of the glass.
“Is that -?” He can’t even bring himself to ask.
“It’s Tommy’s, yeah. A nurse brought out the personal items he had on him a while ago. I was going to see if he has any family in his contacts, but I don’t know his passcode.”
“Oh,” Buck swallows roughly, “it’s um - it’s my birthday. But,” he continues before Eddie types the digits, “he doesn’t have any family in his contacts. At least, not anyone he would want here.”
“Ah,” is all Eddie says before handing the phone over to Buck. He pockets it and tries to think about anything other than his boyfriend a few rooms away getting his arm put back together.
He spends the next few minutes staring off into space thinking of nothing other than his boyfriend a few rooms away getting his arm put back together.
“He’s gonna be okay, Buck,” Eddie says into the heavy silence.
“Eddie’s right,” Bobby adds. “His arm will be fine, and the cuts and scrapes will heal. He’ll be back up in the sky before you know it.”
Buck feels his stomach churn threateningly at the thought, but he does his best to nod and smile. 
When Ravi returns with food, Buck can’t handle the smell, let alone eating anything. But he tries. He can hear Tommy’s low voice in his head warning, “Evan, you need to eat something,” and that convinces him more than Eddie’s prodding.
When Karen shows up along with Chimney and Maddie, Buck feels the need to pull her and his sister off to the side.
He tries to keep his voice steady as he says, “I didn’t get it. Before, I mean. I didn’t get what it felt like to be on this side.” He’s oddly proud his voice only cracked once.
Maddie grabs his hand. “Buck, you’ve been on this side a lot of times. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the 118 isn’t very good at staying out of the hospital.”
He lets out a wet laugh.
“I think he means on the worried partner side of things,” Karen says. “You’ve never had someone you’re in a relationship with get injured like this before. Is that right?”
“Y-yeah.” He chuckles sardonically. “When I saw the helicopter - and his - his hand hanging out the window - I thought - he wasn’t moving, y’know? It took us so long to find him. We were too late. I thought -”
“You thought you’d lost him,” Maddie supplies. He can only nod. “Yep, welcome to the Worried Partners Club.”
“It sucks, but it’s worth it,” Karen adds.
Later, when Athena gets off shift, she arrives at the hospital bearing coffee for everyone. Buck nods gratefully when she hands him one, and the understanding look in her eyes nearly sets him off again. Although, he thinks he might be too dehydrated for tears by now.
“Family of Thomas Kinard?” a voice calls from the doors leading to the OR.
Everyone looks up, but Buck is on his feet before the nurse finishes saying Tommy’s name. He feels people behind him, and the nurse’s eyes widen a bit at everyone gathering around, but Buck’s glad for them.
“He’s out of surgery. Everything went well. He’ll be in recovery for about an hour, but as soon as we get him in a room, you can see him.” 
The last part is directed toward Buck. Maybe he now looks like he’s part of the Worried Partners Club, but that’s fine. He’ll see Tommy soon. That’s what matters.
He catches the end of the nurse’s spiel as he says, “...still be under some sedation, so don’t expect much conversation.”
Buck nods, and the nurse leaves, and then Maddie is dragging him back to their chairs, handing him his coffee, and plopping down next to him to wait until they can see Tommy.
“He’s going to be insufferable,” Eddie says suddenly. He looks at Buck and says, “Remember that time he sprained his ankle while we were sparring? God, he was the worst patient.”
Buck genuinely laughs for the first time since they got the call. “He’s so stubborn, he wouldn’t even let me open doors for him. He just struggled to balance on his crutches so he could do it himself. He almost fell into the bushes twice outside the physical therapist’s office.”
Then everyone is laughing, a sense of lightness settling over Buck. He still doesn’t feel grounded or right necessarily, but laughing with his family helps.
They keep telling stories after that. Most of them are about Tommy, but some are stories or updates about kids or parents or a new recipe gone wrong. They all avoid the topic of work.
“Family of Thomas Kinard?” It’s a different nurse this time, but she doesn’t blink an eye at the number of family Tommy has. “He’s resting in his room. You can go back to see him, but we ask that you keep it to 4 or 5 people at a time. He’s still pretty groggy and probably won’t remember what happened right away, so keep conversation simple.” Then she turns and starts walking down the hallway, not waiting or looking back to see if anyone follows.
Buck grabs Chim and Eddie and gestures at Bobby to come, too. At the last second he grabs Hen’s hand, and the five of them hurry to catch up with the nurse together.
“Breathe, Buck,” Hen whispers.
He can’t. Not yet.
part 1
part 2
part 4
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kiwinatorwaffles · 10 months
Text
the pushback against the discord mobile update shouldn’t be based upon “if you can get used to it” or not. some people might like it. some people might get used to it faster. but a lot of people won’t. and the point of the pushback is that discord keeps thinking they can change this shit and get away with it.
nobody asked for discord to change its color to a brighter blue. remember that? we all got used to it. but that was one of the first instances of the userbase just tolerating a useless change.
later came the dreaded username change. nobody asked for that. in fact, it caused a fuck ton of trouble. remember the markipkier username situation? yeah. but we all just “got used to it.” i don’t hear anyone talking about it anymore. we moved on, even though it really fucking sucked.
now it’s a complete overhaul of the mobile app that removed pretty much everything people liked about discord in the first place. removing the right swipe to see members and pins just made everything clunky and slow. the swipe to reply they replaced it with doesn’t even work all the time. the nice and cozy gray is now colder and darker, which would be fine, but there’s literally a midnight mode that they just released out of beta after 7 years. (edit: i actually used the app for a little more and realized just how fucking hard it was to read anything with the new contrast. it's a genuine accessibility issue. jesus)
they removed the community. want to see which friends are online? fuck you! click the top of the channel that is much slower and cumbersome than just swiping! want to see the funny and/or important messages you pinned? too bad, because we’re cutting off longer messages and hiding links/images that were attached to the message. and also, you can’t see who sent the message in a dm or group chat. also^2, you have to click into the channel and click into ANOTHER tab to even access the pins. fuck you.
regardless of if you like the changes or not, the point of protesting isn’t due to personal preference. it’s that discord keeps thinking they can change this shit that nobody wanted and get away with it. staying complacent will just let them know they can roll out changes and their userbase will still stick around, even if they hate it. which is not true. because users (including my friends and i) and even NITRO USERS are considering jumping ship to alternatives that don’t hate its userbase.
don’t let discord think it’s invincible. send feedback (go to settings and appearance, and there will be a button), even if it’s likely they won’t read it. review them in the app store. if there’s enough genuine feedback that outlines the faults and focuses on the performance and usability of the app, there’s a chance they might change Some things. because we don’t WANT to move and leave all our friends and communities, but a lot of us will have to if the situation gets worse.
the best case scenario is that they let us choose the format we want, but considering that this is discord we’re talking about, i don’t think it will. the least we can do now is to make sure at least some things get changed back for accessibility and convenience.
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propertyofwicked · 6 months
Text
SECRETS part 4 - LN
content warnings: fluff, angst, drama (the whole shabang).
ur girl is going back to working full time tomorrow so if we have slow updates blame my place of work. also, im still recovering from the 4am wakeup and lando p3
previous part -> next part
masterlist the playlist
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“max pick up the damn phone,” y/n said, taking great strides across the paddock towards the car park. once again, the phone call had gone to voicemail. she clicked his contact details, ringing him again. only this time, it didn’t even ring. the phone went straight to voicemail. and to add to the matter, max’s car had disappeared from the car park.
y/n sat on the empty floor of the empty parking spot her brothers car had been in, opening up her phone to check the time and send a message to max, she probably should’ve waited for the mix of fear and anger to fade, but here she was, tapping aggressively at the screen of her phone.
if you think you can ignore me forever, you’ve got another thing coming
dont think you can jump to conclusions and throw a childlike strop about this.
but of course, the messages stayed on delivered for hours. it was at least 2 hours before lando’s caller id popped up on her phone, still with no word from max.
“hey, where did you go? mum said something about you walking off,” lando asked her the moment she answered the call.
“currently? i’m sat on the floor of the car park. where are you - ill walk over now,” she said bluntly. he stayed on the line until she entered the mclaren unit.
“y/n? what do you mean max has left?” panic rising in his voice as she walked up to him, his hands coming to rest on her waist.
“i mean he’s left. gone. driven off,” she said with a shrug, “he won’t answer my calls, hasn’t read my texts, he’s just gone.”
“he might be at the hotel? we’ll drive over in a bit and see?”
“i don’t think we should do anything, i think we might have done enough damage for one day.”
“y/n your brother has just driven off. you should at least try and check if he’s at the hotel.”
“fine, but i’m going alone.”
“let me try and talk to him first, you never know something might’ve happened with P?” lando said, still stroking her hips softly, desperately trying to think of any reason that his best friend had up and left.
4 unanswered calls later, and lando and y/n found themselves sat on the sofa in his driving room again, her head laying on her lap as he stroked her hair, trying to resolve the anxiety.
“i don’t care what he thinks, y/n. i feel so strongly about you and i think i have for years.”
“i think i have too. but i hate the thought of people disliking me, let alone my own brother.”
“i know, angel. he’ll come around soon, i promise.”
“that man held a grudge against me for years when i accidentally scraped the side of his kart when i was 12,” she said, laughing sadly at the memory of their parents having to sit them down in the living room and make them apologise to each other. the moment was quickly interrupted by her phone ringing, max’s caller id popping up on the screen.
“ma-”
“no. don’t talk to me. you two have lied to my face for years about this. lando promised me he would never even think about you in that way. and you, i don’t know what ive done to you for you to go behind my back and fuck my best friend but it’s not on.”
“max i-” lando tried to reason with him.
“oh, of course he’s there. just waiting for the moment i left to start fucking my sister, didn’t you?”
“it’s not like that, max.”
“no? then what is it like? ‘cos from where im standing it’s pretty clear he’s been waiting years to take advantage of my little sister,” he argued down the phone, venom rolling off his tongue.
“take advantage of me?” she scoffed, moving to sit up and hold the phone next to her mouth, “who the fuck do you think you are to talk to or about me in that way? who gave you the audacity to believe you have any control over who i choose to date? you couldn’t care less about protecting me, you only care about protecting yourself," she said, her voice raising and her finger moving to point as if he were stood in front of her.
“he’s not right for you.”
“that’s your opinion max. if you can’t trust me, or lando for that matter, then why should i bother giving you a moment more to talk down to me?”
lando sat silently next to her, playing with his own fingers. this was not his fight to fight right now. he’d speak to max privately later, right now, he knew y/n needed to stand up for herself, and god was she smashing it.
“why can’t you just listen to me?” max sighed, defeated, “i know what’s good for yo-”
“go fuck yourself,” she said, hanging up the call, and dropping her phone on the floor besides her. lando’s arms move to behind her waist, pulling her back to rest into him on the sofa. the room fell into silence.
“im sorry,” she mumbled.
“don’t be sorry. this is on him, and me. i should’ve told him the truth the first time round. hell, i should’ve told you the truth earlier.”
“i’ve ruined your big day, lan. p2 - you should be celebrating, not arguing with your best friend.”
“im with you - that’s celebration enough,” he said, happy to see her smile for the first time in hours. she moved to lay her head back down on lando’s lap, this time looking up at him. a knock on the door brought the two of them back to reality, and cisca walked in, adam trailing slightly behind.
y/n contemplated moving, jumping away from the boy who was currently running his hands through her hair, but it had only been 4 hours of hiding whatever was going on between the two of them and she was already bored of keeping up the pretence.
“y/n, love, did you find max?” cisca asked, eyes softening at the scene unfolding in front of her. had she secretly wished for this for years? maybe.
“yea, he um, he went home.”
“he’s not happy about this, is he?” adam said, pointing between the two of you, yet even he couldn’t help but smile slightly.
“not happy, fuming, absolutely raging - i guess you could say that,” she replied, laughing slightly to ease any tensions.
“he’ll come around lovely, he can’t stay mad at you. you’re his sister after all.”
“i love that you think so highly of my brother, cisca. he will go to the grave holding this grudge if he can.”
“ill talk to him later ang- y/n,” lando said, correcting himself quickly, not comfortable enough yet to be overly affectionate in front of his parents.
“good luck with that,” y/n joked, patting him on the arm sadly.
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later that evening, y/n found herself sat on the floor of lando’s hotel rifling through her bag to find her pyjamas. earlier, her and lando had driven to her hotel room, to find that max had packed his stuff and left as expected. she didn’t want to be alone, and lando didn’t want to leave her alone. her phone began to ring, and she answered it praying it wasn’t max.
“y/n the videos of you are going feral on twitter right now,” her best friend, caitlin, shouted down the phone the moment she picked up.
“stop it - what are people saying?”
“erm, some people think it’s cute?” he friend responded, voice laced in slight worry.
“…and the rest of them think im a slut?” y/n added, but her friend only responded with a hum.
“what’s max said?”
“from what i remember, he drove off leaving me stranded at the track and then rang me to say i was making a mistake, i was a liar and he never wanted to speak to me or lando ever again.”
“taking it well then,” the girl responded, y/n could hear her eyes rolling. at that moment, lando emerged from the bathroom, with just a towel hanging around his waist. any words y/n intended to say got stuck in her throat. he took strides towards her, noticing she was on the phone and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, before moving to his own suitcase to find a change of clothes.
“y/n…are you in lando’s room right now?”
“maybe?” y/n responded in a guilty tone, quieter than she had before, glad lando couldn’t hear the girl on the other side of the phone. however, he seemed to clock on to the question from the small grin on her face.
“girl why did you answer the phone? go spend time with your new controversial boyfriend.”
“he’s not my b- you know what, i’m gonna go.”
“dont do anything i wouldn’t do, stay safe!” her friend added cheerily, laughing as she ended the call. cheery was the furthest emotion from what y/n felt at this moment in time.
once y/n was in her pyjamas, she moved her way back into the room, lando was sat up in bed, his back resting on the headboard, phone in hand. he looked up as she walked in, patting the spot next to him for her to join. her face fell into a look that screamed apprehension.
“y/n nothing bad will happen if you get into this bed and cuddle with me.”
“something bad already happened,” she said, climbing under the duvet next to him nonetheless. his hand reached behind her waist pulling her into his chest, her head coming to rest on him.
“im happy this happened, but im not happy about every thing that’s happening as a result," she told him, her eyes blinking slowly as the exhaustion from todays drama caught up with her.
“i know baby,” he responded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “get some sleep. we’ll sort this out tomorrow, i promise.”
★ ☆ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✶
tag list: @harrysdimple05 @scopeiguess @hiireadstuff @landosgirlxoxo @natt9598 @phantomxoxo @val-writes @secretgal66 @ririyulife @littlehoneyfreak @leclercdream @mehrmonga @eviethetheatrefreak @thatoneembarrasingmoment @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @formula1mount @lottef1 @rayna-s @5starl1ght @cthgee
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wandaslittlebird · 2 months
Text
A Superhero Like You
Mommy!Wanda x Little!Reader
After a weekend trip with your friends takes a turn for the worse, you have to explain to Wanda why you broke the rules.
CW: hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol and drug use, substance mixing, bad drug reactions, mentions of punishment, spanking. No explicit smut but still 18+. All characters are over the age of 18.
Word Count: 2k
A/N: My trip this weekend went fine, idk what you’re talking about 👀.
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You were in trouble. Big trouble, if Wanda’s stern, displeased look was any indicator.
You’d spent the weekend on a small cabin vacation away with your friends; your older friends. Not as old as Wanda, of course, who was easily a decade older than you, but friends that were 2-5 years older than you. Just old enough to make you feel cool for getting invited to hang out with them. 
The cabin you were staying in was nearly two hours away, not to mention in the middle of the woods with shoddy cell service. Wanda didn’t like the idea at all, but after plenty of conversation, and establishing several rules, she’d reluctantly agreed to let you go. 
You’d promised you wouldn’t drink any alcohol (even though you were 21), nor any drinks you didn’t make yourself. You promised to call her every night, and text her throughout the day with updates. And, most importantly, you promised to call her to come get you if anything made you feel uncomfortable.
By 9pm the first night, you knew coming was a bad idea.You should’ve called Wanda then and there, admitted your mistake, and let her take you home where you’d be safe with her, but you hadn’t. 
Instead you’d waited until things got so bad, the party was busted by the cops, and Wanda had to pick you up from the police station. 
And that’s how you ended up here, with a very upset Wanda looking down at you while you cowered on the sofa. “Would you like to tell me what happened, little girl?”
“I’m sorry,” you cried, tears already falling from your eyes. You hated this feeling; Wanda’s disappointment after you’d done a bad thing. You always tried so hard to be good. Slip ups were honestly pretty rare, but you had never ever done anything to mess up this bad. You didn’t know how Wanda was going to react. 
“You’ve said you’re sorry. Now I need you to tell me what happened,” she scolded, her tone still harsh and unforgiving. “Or I can take you upstairs right now and we can just skip straight to your punishment.”
You swallowed, wrapping your arms around yourself in a desperate attempt at comfort. “Do I still get hugs and cuddles after my spanking?” you asked. You always did get comfort after your punishments, but you needed the extra reassurance that this would be no different, even tonight.
Wanda finally softened slightly, crouching in front of your trembling body. She was upset, but she could still see that you were scared and in desperate need of comfort right now. Regardless of what you’d done, she was always going to take care of you when you needed her. “Of course, detka. After your punishment all is forgiven. But mommy really needs to know exactly what happened first, okay? So I can know what kind of punishment you need. Does that make sense, malyshka?” You nodded weakly. “Is there anything I can get you right now that might help you tell mommy what happened?”
You thought for a second. Cuddling or any intimacy with her would just make you feel more guilty. You didn’t feel like you deserved it right now. “Maybe a blanket?” you requested. “And maybe Thomas too.” You added at the last second. Thomas was a little stuffed triceratops, your favorite stuffed animal.  
Wanda nodded. “Do you want your dinosaur blanket or a different one?” 
“Dinosaurs please.”
“Okay detka, you stay right here and I’ll be back in just a minute.”
You nodded, curling up against yourself as you heard her head up the stairs. Just a moment later you felt the soft fabric of your blanket on your shoulders, and the stuffed dinosaur pressed into your lap. You hugged the plush animal into your chest, rubbing your face against its head. “Thank you, mommy,” you said, muffled by the dinosaur. 
“Of course honey,” she said, sitting down cross legged in front of you. She tried to put her hand on your leg, but you shied away. “Do you need another minute or are you ready?”
You slowly lifted your head, feeling much more comfortable now with your favorite things. “I’m ready.”
She nodded. 
You took a deep breath and then started. “We were having a lot of fun at the beginning. We were being silly in the hot tub, and it was really pretty outside, and everybody had already started drinking but they were just being a little goofy. Then when we went inside and dried off, one of the girls I didn't know so well started talking about drugs. Nothing too bad, just some Xanax, maybe Ambien, a couple things I didn’t know about. But I started to get that bad tummy feeling, so I went on a little walk, just like we talked about. It was really pretty out there mommy. You would’ve loved to see all the cool plants and rocks I found. And the sunset was so pretty.”
She noticed you getting a little off topic, likely avoiding something you didn’t want to talk about. She attempted a gentle redirect. “I’m sure they were beautiful, detka. I’d love to hear all about them later. What happened when you got back to the cabin?”
You went quiet for a second, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. You started crying again, darting your eyes around the room to avoid looking at Wanda. “It wasn’t the same when I got back. My bad tummy feeling got really big. They weren’t just being goofy anymore. They didn’t look right, like their faces looked all dizzy and they weren’t acting right either. They couldn’t really walk right and I tried talking to them but I couldn’t understand them at all.” You paused for a few seconds. “I was so scared.”
She tilted her head and cupped your cheek, making you look at her. “Sweetheart, why didn’t you call me? We talked about this, I would’ve come to get you. You promised you would call if anything like that happened. Mommy just wants you to be safe, but I can’t always keep you safe if you don’t follow the rules.”
Your bottom lip trembled. You felt terrible. You’d been so stupid thinking you could handle something like this alone. “I wanted to be a superhero like you, mommy! My friends were in danger and I wanted to be brave and save them like you do! But I’m not like you and I didn’t know what to do and I messed it all up and got everybody in trouble!”
“Oh detka.” She jumped onto the couch and wrapped her arms around you. You struggled against her for a minute, but she held you tight, gently running her hands through your hair. 
“Everybody was getting so sick and I didn’t know what to do, and then I found Kate passed out…” you cried. The words left your body like water through a busted dam. Kate was your best friend, the one who invited you to the party to begin with. “I got so scared I panicked and called 911 and came and took us all away.”
“Honey, I know that must’ve been so scary to see all your friends like that,” Wanda soothed.
“It was the scariest I’ve ever been in my whole life!” you cried.
“I know malyshka. But it sounds like you did everything right. I wish you would’ve called me, but you did everything you were supposed to do in that situation. Even though it was really scary, you were so brave. You made sure everyone was safe and you saved the day.”
You shook your head. “No I didn't, I got everyone in trouble! They were so mad at me, mommy. I messed it all up so bad.”
 “You didn’t mess anything up. They got themselves in trouble. I’m sorry they couldn’t see that, detka.”She positioned you on her lap and rocked you gently against her chest, shushing the sobs that tore through you. It was several minutes before you spoke again.
“Can we go ahead and do my spanking and then we can cuddle again when I’m all forgiven?” You asked. You needed so desperately to be relieved of your guilt and to know Wanda wasn’t mad at you anymore.
“No spankings for you tonight, sweet girl,” She soothed. 
Your heart sunk. You didn’t think you could sleep a wink until your punishment was over and you were forgiven. “No, please! I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore! I can’t wait for tomorrow to be forgiven, please!”
“There’s no spankings tomorrow either, detka. You don’t need to be punished. You’re already forgiven sweetheart,” she reassured.
You frowned, leaning back to look at Wanda. “I don’t understand. You were so mad.”
Wanda nodded regretfully. “I’m sorry I was being so cold when I picked you up, detka. When I got that call for the police, I was so scared something bad happened to my sweet girl. All I knew was that you got in trouble with the police and I assumed you did something bad before I even heard the whole story. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were a very brave girl. I’m sorry I got you worked up about a punishment before I even knew you needed one.”
You paused cuddling back into her chest. She tucked your head under her chin. “Are you sure you’re not still mad at me?” 
Wanda shook her head. “I’m not mad at you, sweetheart.”
“Not even a little bit?”
“Not even a little bit.”
You shifted uncomfortably in her lap. You believed Wanda, but you were still swirling with guilt. Maybe she had forgiven you, but you hadn’t forgiven you. “Maybe I can have a really little spanking? Just a small one before bed.”
Wanda sighed in resignation. She wished she hadn’t gotten so upset with you. It broke her heart to see that you were still so mad at yourself after you’d done something so brave. “If it’ll make you feel better, we can do that, malyshka. But you have to promise to forgive yourself afterwards. You know the rules: after your punishment all is forgiven.”
“I promise,” you swore, wrapping your pinky around hers. 
“That’s my good girl. Now go take your blanket and Thomas upstairs and get ready for me. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
—----
It was truly less than five minutes before Wanda came up to find you sitting naked on the edge of the bed, your blanket wrapped around your shoulder while you anxiously played with the fabric spines along Thomas’ back. 
She sat down next to you, guiding you over her lap. She knew it made you more comfortable to be so close even when you were being punished. “I’m gonna give you 10 my hand, okay? I want you to count out loud for me. You can hold Thomas if you’d like.”
“Yes, mommy,” you said, grabbing the stuffed animal and pulling him under your chest. 
You obediently counted each smack. They were hard enough to hurt, but not so hard you would feel them tomorrow. You started crying around number three, more out of emotional relief than physical pain. Wanda rubbed your now bare back, but didn’t stop. 
The whole ordeal only lasted about two minutes, but she let you cry in her lap for about ten more. “Shh detka. You did so well. It’s all over honey. All is forgiven. Mommy’s not mad at you.” She cooed repeatedly. 
When you finally got your voice back, you whispered “thank you, mommy. I feel better now.”
She tucked you into bed with Thomas, leaving the room to quickly grab some cream. By the time she got back you were already half asleep. She smiled as she watched you rub your face against the soft pillows. She applied the cream before crawling into bed next to you and allowing you to snuggle back into her chest.
“You wanna know a secret?” she whispered. 
“What?” you mumbled sleepily. 
“I think you might be the bravest girl in the whole world. You’re my superhero.”
309 notes · View notes
inniefulme · 5 days
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you're so forgetful !
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summary ; in which the skz members are your boyfriend and: you asked them to do something/had something to do but forgot to do it and now you're mad so now they try to apologize!
bf!skz x shorttempered!reader
notes ; my last post got WAY more attention than intended so now i am incredibly worried about finishing the actual thing fast.. here's a little something while you wait teehee (update: i forgot this app even existed WTFF i swear school has been busy please understand)
warnings ; swearing, some sexual jokes at bin and hyune's part but not tm, didn't exactly go throufh everything so might have some spelling/grammar mistakes so i apologize in advance !!!! reader isn't mentioned in the story, lmk if i miss anything <3
© inniefulme on tumblr. do not repost, remake, or steal.
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bang chan
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you probably asked him to defreeze the meat in the fridge when you left to buy groceries and other home needs but he forgot to because he was so engrossed on his computer and even had the time to go live for stays !!!! and he couldn't even take the meat out.. (ik what ur thinking)
you were definitely MAD because you wanted to have a nice dinner with him and you already planned everything out, it was already 10 pm when u got back too :( now you're ignoring him after you scolded him for forgetting
"y/n, please, i'm sorry. i swear i really did forget." is all he could say, he's too confused to think of what to say because he knew he messed up bad time when you're even rejecting his spoilers for the next come back like ??????
he'd be sitting in front of his computer thinking about what could possibly be a way to win you back, he even decided to go live again to ask stays. some said get you something you would like, or maybe just keep saying sorry.
he decided to do the next best thing, keep saying sorry of course!
"y/n, i'm really sorry. please forgive me, please, please?" he begs right in front of you kneeling down as u sat down on the couch completely ignoring his presence while you watched the tv.
he looked so sad at this point, ready to give up as he sat beside you. "i really am.." he pouted, leaning his head against your shoulder. you of course couldn't bare seeing him like that anymore and gave up, patting his head
"it's fine.. stop whining." you said, which chan immediately perked up hearing and looked up at you again. "are you sure? really?" he tries to get your confirmation first.
"yes.. don't worry." you replied, which made him sigh in relief as he placed your hand on his. "i really just, really am sorry. i won't let this happen again okay? even though it was about some meat in the fridge." you laughed, nodding. "promise?"
"promise." he kisses the back of your hand and smiled widely
lee know
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genuinely i didn't know what he'd forget to do the most so i just thought of something dumb
and what dumb is it? you asked him to login to your game later so you don't lose you streak of course!
and he still forgot because he slept, woke up, played with the cats, eat and slept again probably
now you're pissed off because you were on your 143 streak and he ruined it :(
"oh come on it's just a game.." he makes up an excuse. "a game i spent hours on! don't you know how long it took to login that much and now you made me lose my streak?!" you crossed your arms, pouting
"you're overreacting, c'mere." he extends his hands out. "no, i'm mad." you looked away
"oh please, i'm not falling for that.." well i guess he did because you kept on ignoring him for 3 hours straight which made him go insane ngl not being able to touch you, especially when you're at home with him and still REFUSING physical contact
"okay fine, i'm sorry okay? please open the door, soonie wants to see you." he knocks on the door. "is it soonie or you're the one who wants to see me?" you asked
"both. now open up." he keeps on knocking and refusing to stop, which made you annoyed. "the door isn't even locked dumbass." you yelled out, which made him silent for a moment before opening the door
"could've told me before.." he rolls his eyes playfully, before getting in bed with you. "i really am sorry okay, don't ignore me like that ever again." he snuggles up with you as soonie joined in
"then don't do something like that again.." you groaned. "i promise, okay?" he assures you, holding you in his arms tight
changbin
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here's an interesting one!
ahm.. something like lee know's maybe? he forgot to... do the laundry?????
that's all i could think of sorry
no bc u told him to do it like 4 hours ago while u had some work to do, you didn't even leave the house or anything but no now it's 10 pm and he still forgot womp womp
your favorite shirt is in the pile too and you were planning on wearing it tmrw when u and binnie go out :((((
"you could've set a reminder at least?!" you scolded him, which he just sat there in the couch crossing his arms feeling bad because he knew it was his fault
"i forgot to set one too.." he mutters, looking up at you. "you're too forgetful sometimes, it's bad!"
"it can't be helped okay!" changbin snaps back, before he pulled you onto his lap and groaned. "sorry. stop being so mad about it, you can find other shirts that could fit on you."
"but you said you loved that one the most.." you pouted. "you look good in anything, and i'll love you no matter. it doesn't make much of a difference." he says while running his hand through your hair "i just loved it because it compliments your body the most." he smirks
"hmph.." you whine, refusing to touch him in any sort of way despite already being on top of him. "come on, i said i'? sorry..?" he cups your cheeks, before playing with it for a while. "here, i'll let you buy something from my phone.. how about that?" your ears perk up, as you quickly take a glance at him. "promise?" you asked. "promise, bub."
you smiled, before wrapping your arms around his neck and hugged him. "thsnk you~" you cooed, as changbin laughs it off. "in one other condition.." he adds
"let me do anything to you tonight, eh?" he raises an eyebrow teasingly, which made you blush a bit but simply shrugged it off as you hit him playfully
"ow!" he pretends to be hurt, as you pouted. "i guess that's a yes, hm love?" he chuckles, pulling his phone out of his pocket
hyunjin
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let's say he forgot it was your date today, except like teeny bit worse
you were already dressed up, did a bit of makeup and everything, only to see him lying on the couch with the remote on his hand, skimming through the channels on the tv
you were genuinely confused, thinking you got the date wrong or anything, but no, it really was today
"hyune? why aren't you ready yet?" you asked. "hm? where we going?" he looks up from the couch, sitting up as he looks at you for a moment, smilinf at your appearance. "you're kidding right? you said we have a date."
"date? when?" he tilts his head to the side. "i don't remember setting one for us, you're messing things up babe." that is, until his phone alarm rang with the title; 'date with y/n'
you would agree that if he simply forgot and just needed a reminder, he'd be off the hook. but even saying YOU were the one messing things up despite being the one planning the whole thing is just another story
"oh fuck.." he mutters as he looks at his phone. not only that, he set it 2 hours after the actual date, now you both missed your reservation. "hwang hyunjin. are you kidding me right now?" you cross your arms, clearly mad
"i'm sorry, i totally forgot.. i was just-"
"too busy with the damn tv? oh i can see that!" you cut him off, now scolding him. "now we missed the reservation!" you groaned, stomping yout feet towards your room..
"babe, look, i'm really sorry okay? i didn't mean to." hyunjin tries to apologize, standing behind you in front of the mirror while you removed your not-too-much-of-makeup-but-still-was-something makeup that took work
"pleasee? i can still make it up to you, we can go elsewhere." he wraps his arms around you from behind, resting hid chin on your shoulder
"anywhere you want, my treat, you don't even have to do anything but enjoy yourself, how about that?"
your furrowed eyebrows slowly went upwards, as you stared at him from the mirror. "anything..?"
"yes, love." he kisses your cheek. "anything." you contemplate it for a moment, before you sighed. "fine.. since we're still going."
"there we go, there's my lover." he giggles, pinching your cheek. "no need for you to wear any makeup or change, your perfect as you are. i'll be taking your clothes off later eitherway." he says laughing, running his hand through your hair
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188 notes · View notes
wosoragebaiter69 · 8 months
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late
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barça femeni x teen!reader
request: here & here
A/N: i love everything about this request. (i did make lucy ona and keira a throuple for the memes)
also Asisat has left.. no more dedicated funny person in my stories 😔
TW: Panic Attack
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You’re late. You’re never late. That’s how you end up on the phone with Ona, stressed and out of your mind.
“I’m not sure Ona! All I know is that my period is late, and I am FREAKING out, so god help me and come over please.” You’re borderline screaming at the phone.
“Ok ok, please just calm down I’ll be there soon. When I get there you better have an explanation of why you think you might be pregnant, you are literally 17.” You can hear her disappointment.
“Yes I know, I know. Just get the tests please.” She says yes and promptly hangs up the phone as you go back to worrying.
- - - - -
All was going well for Ona, she bought two tests which were different brands and payed for them without getting recognised by any fans. She opts to not buy a bag, considering it’s 8pm at night. It’s not like she was going to run into anyone anyways, right?
Wrong, immediately as she walks out of the pharmacy, tests in hand she bumps into not only her captain. But 1 of her 2 girlfriends as well.
“Uhh, what is that?” Lucy says, looking down at the tests in her girlfriends hand.
“I, uhh.” The younger spaniard starts to freak out, not wanting to put you in a vulnerable position.
“Tell us.” Alexia says sternly, leaving no room for argument.
“Well, it’s not for me. It’s for… it’s for Y/N.” The older women look visibly shaken and shocked.
“Disculpe!”
“Qué?”
They speak at the same time.
“Ok, I’m about to go to her house. Lucy you can come with me and Ale you can come if you’d like.”
“I’ll leave the nena to you both, just update me ok?” Alexia is concerned, rightfully so. Ona and Lucy nod, before getting in the car and driving to your place.
- - - - -
You open the door, surprised to see not 1 but 2 visitors.
“Hola.” You say before allowing them access inside the apartment.
“Sorry, I uh might’ve ran into Lucy and Alexia and I had to tell them.” Ona blurts out, you don’t worry though as it would probably get out anyways.
“It’s fine… can I just have the tests now?” She nods slowly, passing them to you before running off to the bathroom.
When you’ve followed the instructions and done what’s needed, you walk out and place the two sticks on the table, flipping them upside down. Once again you begin to spiral.
“Oh god, what if it’s positive.” You mumble, pushing your knees to your chest.
“Hey, if it is positive we’ll do our best to support you, if it’s negative then there’s nothing to worry about. Might be a cyst or something. Take deep breaths for me ok?” Lucy’s reassuring voice leads you into a less panicked state, and you just hoped that time would fly by faster.
When the timer on Ona’s phone went off, you felt sick. You took deep breaths as Ona scratched your back slightly. You counted in your head to three and flipped both tests open to reveal one negative… and one positive. Oh fuck.
“Ona? Luce? Please. What do I do, I’m scared.” Tears stream down your face, your body starts to shake and Lucy immediately holds you tight against her.
“Shh, shh, it’s ok. It might be a false positive, youre going to be ok I promise.” She says as you’re crying, her words fall deaf in your ears as you can only sob harder. Now going into a full panic attack.
“Call Keira, I’ll message Alexia.” Ona nods and calls the other Englishwoman.
- - - - -
It’s around 5 minutes later, you feel like you’re going to pass out when there’s knocks on the door. You register something else happening and soon enough someone has their hands touching your knees and speaking.
The person takes your hand and puts it agaisnt something that’s beating and you try to get in sync with it.
Soon enough, you regain your senses and it’s Keira who’s pulled you back to reality. It seems she knows you’re back with the look she gives.
“Hey…” She whispers softly, wiping the tears out of your eyes. “Whatever happens, you have me, the team and we won’t judge you at all. Ok?” You nod.
It takes a few more minutes until you’re basically back to where you were. You look up at their curious gazes.
“You can ask questions if you want.” You answer the unspoken question.
“So you… you had sex.” You nod at Keira.
“With a guy?” Ona pipes up and you sigh nodding your head again.
“Ok, how about this. Give it another week and we’ll do another two tests, IF you haven’t got your period by then, sound good?” You half-smile and stare at the table.
“Do you want any of us to stay at all?” You shrug, not even sure what you want at the current moment. “Ok, Keira will stay with you and you’ll go to training in the morning. We updated Alexia and she’s worried. She agrees with us about the waiting and what we’ll do after today. She might want to speak to you tomorrow though.”
“Ok, thank you for everything Luce and you Ona.” You look at both of them, smiling gratefully. They pat you on the shoulder before walking out to presumably go home. Then Keira turns to you.
“I brought stuff over in case, don’t worry about lending clothes or anything like that.”
“Ok… could you maybe sleep- like in the bed with me?” You ask, slightly embarrassed.
“Not at all come on, you need the rest.” She leads you to your room and you immediately crash fast asleep against the pillow.
- - - - -
The next morning when you wake up, you know something has changed. There’s a light ache in your abdomen and your muscles are slightly sore. Keira is peacefully lying beside you and you’re happy that she stuck to her word and stayed.
You lazily make your way to the bathroom to use the toilet when you feel as if God has blessed you. low and behold that positive from the previous night was a false one.
You feel immediately at ease and get done what needs to be done in the morning.
“Keira!” You greet happily, she smiles slightly confused. Considering it’s such a dramatic change from last night.
“What’s up?” She asks.
“I finally got it.” It takes a second for her to register what you meant by that but when she does she’s also happy.
“Well, that’s great. Come on, eat this muesli bar and we’ll get going, then you can tell the girls about it.” You nod and head off to training.
- - - - -
When you walk in the room where all the girls are, the ones who knew look at you in surprise of the look of joy on your face.
“Why so happy cariño?” Ale asks.
“Well it seems like someone has blessed me because this morning I got what I’d been hoping for. My period.” You say dramatically and she smiles.
“YAYY THE BEBE ISN’T PREGNANT!” Mapi’s loud voice shouts as you look down, cheeks turning red.
“Welcome to womanhood elskling.” Ingrid pulls you in and presses a kiss against your temple.
—————————————————————————
i fangirled so hard today on the woso writers discord
593 notes · View notes
etfrin · 8 months
Text
❝ꜱᴏᴜʟꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ❞ — chapter eleven | coriolanus snow
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「ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ:」 SFW | Coriolanus Snow, Dean Highbottom, Canon typical violence
「ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ:」 young! Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader
「ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:」 AND WE NOW HAVE THE 10TH HUNGER GAMES <3
「ᴀ/ɴ:」 double update bitches/my love
Beta read by ☀️ @nowitsmissing
series masterlist | navigation | taglist
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Coriolanus enters the Capitol News Studio. He had given the poison to Lucy Gray, the songbird showed little hesitation to accept it. After all, she had good survival instincts. The top seven mentors had interviews held. You were one of them, but you weren't present yet. Coriolanus could hope that you'll come on time, otherwise your slot will be given to someone else.
Coriolanus is called up on stage, and he's grateful that Lucy Gray had sung in hers. It gave him fresh material. He talks about her family, the Covey, and how could they be Capitol unfortunately detained in twelve with horrible luck. He even ropes Lucky Flickerman into it, who agrees.
Soon, your turn comes but you're nowhere to be found. So it was given to someone else. He frowns, thinking the worst. You were fine in the morning, what happened? Was it because of the expired bread? Coriolanus hoped that he wasn't the reason for your delay.
The interviews are over, still no you in sight, the mentors head back to the Academy in vans. Coriolanus prepares to enter the Auditorium when Dean Highbottom stops him,
“You know that friend of yours from Two? The emotional one?” Dean Highbottom asked him.
“Sejanus Plinth,” said Coriolanus. Not that they were friends, but that wasn’t any of Dean Highbottom’s business.
“You might want to find him a seat near the door.” Then Dean Highbottom takes his infamous morphine, and leaves Coriolanus wondering. He finds a seat in the mentor section. The seats on either side of him are empty. One is reserved for you and another for Sejanus Plinth.
“Sejanus!” He yells as he notices the Plinth boy. Coryo calls him over and lets him sit. He wore the same yellow mentor badge, along with the communicuff. Sejanus greets him, his voice rough, and sits down. Unlike usual, he wasn't yapping off about the games. Which was a surprise that he welcomed.
Where were you?
His mind went back to the morning when he pulled back from the kiss; when you had pulled back from the kiss. Did he scare you off? Were you skipping the games? He wondered if that was even allowed. His fingers traveled on his wrist, lining up the scar that seemed to be smaller than before. His eyebrows furrow as he notices the change, the scar seems smaller but thicker, and the skin rises a bit more.
He blinks, and wonders if he's seeing it wrong. But there was a change, and he had no idea what was happening to his soulmate scar. He had never heard of scars healing like this before, especially eight years later. Seems like a fever dream.
You rush in, and Coriolanus sees you taking your badge and communicuff. He sees you checking the device out that will help you to send water and food to your fellow tribute. He wondered briefly if Jessup had any sponsors at all. He knew Lucy Gray had the highest. If she played well, he wouldn't certainly spare no expense either.
You looked around in the auditorium, looking lost. Coriolanus doesn't call for you. He wants you to find him. Snow wants to know if your eyes always look for him, just the way he does. Coriolanus bit his lower lip to stop the grin from spreading on his face when your eyes met his and your shoulders visibly relaxed.
You walked towards the free seat and sat down beside Coriolanus. You sighed, letting your hand fall on the side of the chair. Coriolanus doesn't think before he does the same, and your hand touches his. He clenched his jaw wondering if he should go for it.
Everyone would be looking at the screens, not where Coriolanus placed his hand after all. He decided to fuck it. He holds your hand, his grip getting tighter and borderline painful when you try to pull away. His eyes looked straight at the numerous screens, but he leaned on your side to whisper, “You missed your interview.”
“I am aware,” you whispered back, rudely. You tried to pull your hand again, but Snow didn't let you. His blunt nails begin to dig into your skin to keep his grip. He doesn't miss your wince, but he doesn't feel guilty. You should stop trying to pull away, let him hold you. It's his right.
You stopped trying to get out of his grasp, and Coriolanus loosened the grip so it hurt less. “What's wrong?” He asked, his voice filled with faux worry. Coriolanus couldn't believe your behavior right now, unruly unlike a Capitol citizen but befitting of a district. He couldn't guess what had happened in the short period you were left alone.
“Nothing, Coryo,” you hissed back. Your head turns to him, your eyes burning with annoyance. “Can you please shut the fuck up?” Coriolanus flinched in shock, his eyes widening, filling up with rage from your sudden unnecessary disrespect. He let go of your hand but this time you refused to let go. Your nails dig into his skin, forming crescent marks on his knuckles the same way he did yours.
Coriolanus doesn't reply. He doesn't try to ask either. His eyes hardened in anger he couldn't release right now. Though he hated to admit that your hand holding his, helped him stay tether to the reality. It helped not to lose sight and he put on a blank, cold face. His eyes turned into ice instead of the fire he was feeling inside.
Then Flickerman calls attention to all of the mentors. Telling them to smile, and to go away when their tribute dies. Coriolanus listened to the man drawl until it was finally time. Everyone's attention was on the screen. He pulled your hand towards his lips to press a kiss when he knew nobody would be looking. Consider it his way of taking good luck as he couldn't kiss his scar right now.
“Let the 10th annual Hunger Games begin!”
The fourteen tributes who remained on his list were positioned in a large circle, awaiting the opening gong. No one paid any attention to them, or to the new wreckage from the bombing that littered the field, or to the weapons strewn on the dusty ground, or to the flag of Panem strung from the stands, adding an unprecedented decorative touch to the arena.
All eyes moved with the camera, riveted as it slowly zoomed into the pair of steel poles not far from the main entrance of the arena. They were twenty feet high, joined by a crossbeam of similar length. At the center of the structure, Marcus hung from manacled wrists, so battered and bloody that at first Coriolanus thought they were displaying his corpse. Then Marcus’s swollen lips began to move, showing his broken teeth and leaving little doubt he was still alive.
Coriolanus could feel Sejanus shaking with rage, and he had just turned to put a quieting hand on him when the boy sprang from his seat and ran forward. The mentor section had five empty chairs in the front reserved for their missing classmates. Sejanus grabbed the one on the corner and hurled it toward the screen, smashing it into the image of Marcus’s ravaged face. “Monsters!” he screamed. “You’re all monsters here!” Then he dashed back down the aisle and out the main entrance to the hall. No one moved a muscle to stop him. Except you.
You tried to stand up, only for Coriolanus to pull you down on your seat. Looking at you harshly with a glare. He couldn't have two people from the districts leave, one was openly against the games but you weren't. You couldn't risk the symbolism that will mean if you go after Sejanus now. It would put too much at risk. Especially with Dr. Gauls' attention on both of you. Coriolanus wouldn't allow you to sabotage yourself (and him) over a silly friendship.
“Coryo-”
“Stay seated,” he instructed, looking back at the screen, back at the near-death body of Marcus. “The games have begun.”
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NEXT CHAPTER
443 notes · View notes
punkshort · 8 months
Text
look what we've become - ch.9
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Chapter Summary: Joel nurses you back to health and you come to a startling realization about your future together.
Chapter Warnings: language, descriptions of some injuries, fluff, protective Joel, soft Joel, little bit of angst, lots of feelings, smut (18+ MDNI), fingering
WC: 6K
Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
After arriving back in Jackson, you ended up spending nearly three weeks in the infirmary. Your injuries were worse than you thought. From what you could remember, Bill said you had some internal damage along with several fractures and sprains. The cut in your leg was infected, but fortunately Eugene's group did manage to successfully trade for the rest of the antibiotics before everything happened in Salt Lake City.
You ended up sleeping quite a bit in those weeks, but Ellie told you later that Joel hardly ever left your side. She had said she would get into arguments with him, trying to convince him to take turns at your bedside so he could go home and rest, but he refused.
"I don't know which one of you is more stubborn - you or him," Bill mumbled to you as he gently removed the IV from your arm. You chuckled, your eyes finding his broad form outside your bedroom talking quietly with Tommy, just out of earshot.
"Definitely him."
You were grateful Bill let you go home, but he insisted on doing house visits twice a day until you were on your feet. Most of your superficial wounds had healed but you were still very tired and weak. Bill could see improvement every day, and he said that's all that mattered.
On his way out, Bill stopped to check in with Joel, no doubt updating him on your condition and any medicine he would have to administer for you. You watched his face as he listened intently, his brow furrowed as he looked down at the bottles Bill handed him. You had to stifle a giggle when you saw him squint at the label and hold it further away from his face.
While Joel and Bill continued to talk, Tommy slipped past them and into your room, giving you a grin as he plopped down in the chair next to your bed.
"Lookin' good," he said, making you laugh and then wince, gingerly touching your ribs.
"Liar," you said, and he chuckled, his eyes raking over your face, taking in the scabs and yellow bruises with a sigh.
"Just wanna let you know, we cut off all trades with 'em," he said, his voice taking on a serious tone.
"I figured. I know they had a lot of things we could use - "
"We'll find those things somewhere else. Not worth it," he said, cutting you off.
You nodded and cast your gaze to the side.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it," he replied, tapping his foot on the floor. "Maria said she was gonna stop by later after work, you think you're up for it?"
"Yeah, of course," you said, although you honestly couldn't tell these days. It seemed like you fell asleep at the drop of a hat.
"How's Ellie?" you asked him. Whenever you asked Joel, he frustratingly just gave you the most basic information. She's fine. She's in school. Think I saw her with a couple girls the other day.
"She's adjusting real good. She's been stayin' with Julia, but I'm not sure it's a permanent solution for either of them." He eyed you carefully as your gaze drifted over his shoulder at Joel, who was walking Bill down the steps to the front door. "You got any ideas?"
"Me?" you asked, looking back to him now and raising your eyebrows in surprise. You knew what he was implying, and he just nodded.
"I would love it if she wanted to stay here, but I'm pretty sure Joel wouldn't like that, and I really don't want to push him right now. He's so stressed, Tommy. I can see it in his eyes. He's not sleeping well, and I'm worried about his blood pressure -"
"Have you talked to him about it? About the kid?" Tommy asked, and you shook your head.
"No, but he made his feelings pretty well known when she first got here."
"Lots happened since then. He might surprise you," Tommy said, standing up with a grunt. You frowned and opened your mouth to question him further when Joel walked through the door, his gaze falling on his brother.
"Just headin' out, don't worry, I know she needs her rest," Tommy said, sneaking you a wink as he headed towards the door. You thanked him for visiting and listened to them walk down the stairs, their voices fading the further they got until the door closed and all that was left was Joel's heavy footsteps slowly coming back up. He reached the door and leaned against the frame as he gave you a small smile, but you could see how exhausted he was. His eyes looked bloodshot and his shoulders sagged.
"Come here," you whispered, and he quickly pushed off the wall to come to your side.
"What'dya need, sweetheart?" he asked, glancing at the cup next to your bed, making sure it was still filled with water. "Hungry?"
"No," you said, shaking your head, but he looked at his watch and mentally did the math.
"You'll have to eat somethin' soon with your meds, what can I make you?" he asked, and you shook your head again.
"Can you please just lay with me for a while?"
He hesitated but you reached out to drag your fingertips against his wrist, urging him closer to the bed, and he gave in.
"Alright, only for a few minutes," he said, rounding the end of the bed and collapsing onto the covers with a groan, sliding his eyes closed in relief.
"I wish you'd rest more," you murmured after you gingerly rolled yourself onto your side so you could look at him. "I'm worried about you."
He chuckled and turned his head to the side to look at you in disbelief.
"You're worried about me? You're jokin', right?"
You reached out to lightly brush a stray curl away from his eyes, choosing not to reply. You knew it would be a losing battle anyway.
"Can't rest," he said, staring at you with his eyes all soft. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to rest again."
"Why?" you asked, your brow furrowing.
He shook his head, his eyes still pinned on yours and you watched them slowly fill with tears. You gave him a look of concern and inched a bit closer to cup his face, the pad of your thumb swiping over his rough beard as you waited for him to open up.
"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his voice thick as he tried to hold back his tears. "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault -"
"I keep lettin' you down. Over and over again," he continued, a tear slipping down his cheek. "And I just wanna tell you that I understand now. 'Bout all of it. Why you're so scared 'bout havin' a family or gettin' married. And it's fine, I won't bring it up again, alright?"
"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" you asked, searching his face for answers.
"I can't - " he paused and took a deep breath before trying again. "I can't take care of us. I thought I could but it's clear I can't when all this bad shit keeps happenin'. But if you'll still have me, I'll be right here, okay? I'll take whatever you wanna give me, I don't care 'bout any of that other shit anymore. I just want you."
"Slow down," you said, trying to wrap your fatigued mind around what he was saying. Your grip on his jaw tightened before you continued. "You never let me down, do you understand me? You are the only fucking thing that kept me going the past few years. Without you, I would be dead. I would have died that very first day. I owe you my life, Joel. How do you not see that?"
He just shook his head, refusing to accept what you were saying, so you kept going.
"I should have just been honest with you, but it took me a while to figure out why I was so scared about - "
"You don't need to explain - "
"Let me finish," you said, and he clamped his mouth shut. "It's not you, Joel. Well, it is. But not for the reason you think."
He frowned, blinking back tears as he waited for you to continue.
"It's because I love you so much that it scares me." You could feel your own tears forming now, but you tried to push through. "If something were to happen to you out there and I was left all alone, I don't know how I could go on." You swiped away a few tears that fell as you spoke. "And I'm terrified of getting married because if you die, that day will haunt me, Joel. Every single year when the anniversary comes, I - "
You stopped for a moment, your breaths coming in short gasps. He tried to shush you and pull you closer, but you shook your head.
"I'm not strong enough," you finished with a small sob. This time, you let him pull you into his chest while his big hands cradled the back of your head, patting down your hair, soothing you.
"Does that make sense?" you blubbered, pulling back to look at him.
He nodded slowly, his eyes raking down your face.
"Yeah," he whispered. "Thought I wasn't gonna get you back after they took you. Thought I lost you forever."
The two of you sat in silence for a minute, lost in each other's eyes, the truth finally spoken and swirling around the quiet room as you both clung to the other, just grateful to be alive.
"But you did get me back," you finally said, breaking the silence. "You did that. You saved me. Again." You ran your finger gently over his bottom lip and he gave the tip of your finger a little kiss.
"You might think you can't keep me safe, but in reality, you are the only reason I'm still here." The puzzle was finally piecing together in your mind as you spoke.
"That's not true," he said immediately. "Every situation that's put you at risk could've been avoided if I had protected you more. I wouldn't have to save you if I didn't put you in harm's way in the first place."
"But this is the world we live in, Joel. None of us will ever truly be safe ever again. And it's not because of something you did. It's just a really shitty hand we were all dealt and now we have to figure out a way to make the most of it and survive." You paused for a moment, something in your brain finally clicking as the words came tumbling out.
"We can't let fear run our lives," you said softly.
He looked at you, your gaze fixed on the wall behind him as what Maria said so long ago finally made sense. It was like you were seeing through the fog. Like a weight was lifted off your shoulders and you could breathe deeply for the very first time.
It took you and Joel to finally have a raw and honest conversation, but you thought you understood what she meant now.
"You okay?" Joel asked, clearly confused. You let your gaze fall back to him and you grinned.
"Yeah," you said breathlessly, then tugged him forward so you could press your lips against his, your fingers curling around the back of his neck to hold him against you.
You weren't afraid anymore.
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A few days later, you woke up to the sound of the front door downstairs swinging shut. Your eyes snapped open and you strained your ears, trying to listen to the muffled words through the closed bedroom door.
"Told ya to be quiet, she's tryin' to sleep," you heard Joel say.
"Sorry, the fucking wind took the door from me and this stupid backpack is so heavy. Why do I even need to go to school? Who cares about this stuff anymore?"
"I do, 'cause it keeps you out of trouble and outta my hair."
"Ha, yeah right. You know both those things are impossible, old man," you heard Ellie scoff.
"How the hell old do you think I am?"
"The way you can barely read the instructions on the back of that pasta box? You don't want me to answer that."
You grinned as you listened to the two of them bicker amongst themselves. You weren't sure when it happened, but at some point in the past several weeks, Joel and Ellie finally seemed to have a breakthrough in their relationship. You wanted to ask, but you didn't want to draw attention to it. The two of them were so alike in so many ways that you knew if you pointed it out, they would pull back and stop making progress. So in the meantime, you just enjoyed listening and watching them whenever you got the chance.
With a small grunt, you pushed yourself off the mattress and swung your legs over the side of the bed, taking a moment to catch your breath before reaching out and using the end table to support your weight so you could stand. Walking was getting easier; the worst part was still the healing gash in your thigh. Bill said the knife one of Amy's men used must have cut through some muscle, so you were slowly building your strength back up by taking very short walks around your bedroom every day.
With small, careful steps, you managed to get to your bedroom door and open it quietly, listening to Ellie helping Joel make spaghetti in the kitchen while she told him about her day. You stopped at the top of the stairs and peered down.
"Ellie?" you called out softly.
You heard a spoon clatter on the counter and Joel's heavy footsteps jog to the foot of the stairs. He looked up at you with a towel in his hand, worry etched across his face. Ellie quickly joined him and looked up at you with a grin.
"What's wrong? Why're you up?" Joel asked, taking the steps two at a time.
"Nothing!" you said with a smile as he reached the top and wrapped an arm around you gently to help steady you. "I just wanted to see Ellie."
"I thought you were asleep," she said, bounding up the stairs.
"C'mon, let's get back to bed," Joel urged. You sighed and allowed him to lead you back to the bedroom, but you chose to sit on the edge of the bed instead of getting back under the covers like he clearly wanted you to do.
"Come on, tell me what's going on out there. Joel's not much of a gossip," you told Ellie with a wink, and Joel huffed somewhere behind you, fixing the sheets.
"Well, Maria wants to get married the second you're back on your feet. Says she wants to do it before she starts showing," Ellie started, and you felt the mattress dip with Joel's weight next to you.
"Yeah, she told me that already. What else? How's school?"
"It's alright. I met a few girls, we hang out sometimes."
"That's great!" you told her, happy that she was acclimating well. "How's Julia?"
Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes at the mention of the older school teacher who graciously let her live with her.
"She's nice, but she's just got such strict rules. I've gotten into it with her a couple times when I was late for curfew," Ellie admitted, looking down at her fingers twisting in her lap.
"It's important that you listen to her, y'know. She's just lookin' out for you," Joel said softly, and you had to tuck your chin against your chest to hide your smile. He was so sweet with her now, like he had known her his whole life, and it took some time getting used to hearing it.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ellie said sullenly. "I just get so bored. She spends her evenings planning her lessons or knitting. Knitting! It's so quiet over there, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind."
"Well, why don't you move in with us?" Joel asked with a shrug. Both you and Ellie froze, your eyes widened in shock. You slowly turned your head to the side to look at him, unable to form words.
"What?" he asked, swiveling his head back and forth when neither of you said anything.
You were about to respond when Ellie jumped up excitedly, about to wrap her arms around Joel's shoulders, then stopped herself.
"Really? Can I?" Her eyes darted between you both, a huge grin plastered across her face.
"Yeah," you said breathlessly with a nod. "Yeah, of course you can." You tried your best to blink back the tears that were quickly forming.
The three of you heard some hissing coming from downstairs and Joel leapt up, muttering about the water for the pasta as he clattered quickly down the steps, leaving just you and Ellie.
"Holy shit," she said, still grinning.
"Uh, yeah, 'holy shit' is right," you said with a chuckle.
"You didn't have anything to do with that?"
"Me? Nope," you said, quickly shaking your head. "Although it was on my mind, I just never found the right time to talk to him about it."
"Wow," she muttered, sitting on the bed next to you. "Guess he doesn't hate me, after all."
"Told you," you said, nudging her shoulder with your own.
You sat in silence for a moment, deep in thought while you listened to Joel muttering to himself in the kitchen. A smile played across your lips at the sheer domesticity of it. A feeling that you never thought you would get to experience just fell into your lap when you least expected it.
"I never got a chance to ask," you began, and Ellie turned her attention back towards you. "Does anyone else know?"
She shook her head.
"When you were passed out in the truck on the way back, Joel told me he had to tell Tommy and Maria but then he got so distracted with you at the infirmary that I guess he never got around to it."
You hummed and nodded, wondering if Joel truly forgot or if he changed his mind. Either way, you knew it would have to come out some day, but you had hoped it would be on Ellie's terms.
"And what did he tell Tommy? About the Fireflies?"
"The truth. Well, mostly. Just left out a few things. He told him they were working on a vaccine and that they kidnapped you, obviously."
"But how did he explain why they took me without telling him they really wanted you?" you asked, your pain killers making it tough to keep up.
"I told them they took people to experiment on," she said. "I thought that's what they were doing, anyway, at first."
You chewed your lip for a moment, eager to learn more but careful about pushing her too far.
"How did you guys find me?" you finally asked. You had tried to get the story out of Joel multiple times already, but he kept dodging the question, and the curiosity was getting the best of you.
Ellie's body stiffened next to you. She straightened her back as she took a sharp inhale of breath.
"He didn't tell you?"
You just shook your head slowly.
"Well, we, uh, went back to my aunt and uncle's house," she said, dropping her eyes to her lap. "He figured out they were the ones who called the Fireflies to come take you. Or, I guess me, but whatever."
"Oh," you said softly. You hadn't expected Ellie to know about any of that.
"It's alright, Joel told me after you were taken. That you thought they might've sold me off," she said, as if reading your mind.
"Ellie, I'm so sorry," you said, but she just shook her head.
"It's fine," she said, but you could see in her face she was hurt. After a moment, she added "it worked out in the end, right? I found you guys."
You gave her a tight smile as you felt the swell of emotions rising up your chest, squeezing your throat. You cared for Ellie so deeply that you were almost inclined to agree with her. Even though you were just as happy to have her in your lives, it still made you sick to think about what she had to endure to get there.
Then, you realized Ellie never elaborated about their return visit. You glanced over at her and wanted to ask, but decided against it. She looked upset enough, and if it was anything like you saw at the hospital, you preferred not to bring it up.
Joel startled you both by appearing silently in the doorframe.
"You girls ready to eat?"
Girls. The way he said it warmed your heart.
"So long as you didn't burn it," Ellie said teasingly as she stood up from the bed. "I'll bring some up for you," she said to you over your shoulder as she headed down the stairs.
"C'mon, lemme help you get back in bed and I'll get your tray," Joel said, but instead you held out a hand to stop him, making him look at you.
"Thank you," you whispered, cupping his face with both hands.
"For what?"
You smiled at him and he lifted an eyebrow at you, amused but curious.
"For giving me a family."
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It took a few weeks, but your bones eventually healed and you were able to get back to work. Maria would only schedule you for half days and you argued that you could do more, but by the time you got home after only four hours, you had to admit you were exhausted.
Bill told you it would take some time for you to feel like yourself again, that it was completely normal and that you would need to build your strength back up. You had to constantly remind Joel you needed to start doing things for yourself, but he would still do whatever he could to keep you from getting up too much.
Joel heard you sigh from the bathroom and within seconds he was in the doorway, buttoning up his dress shirt with a tie draped loosely around his neck.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," you said quickly as you continued to stare into the mirror and fidget with your hair. "I can't get my hair to look the way I want it."
"I think you look beautiful," he said, sauntering over with his shirt still untucked to wrap his arms around your waist from behind, gazing at you in the mirror while he planted a quick kiss to your neck.
You sighed and tilted your head to the side, encouraging him to explore your neck more. You arched your back just a bit, pushing yourself back into his hips, causing his arms to stiffen around you.
"No funny business," he murmured against your skin, and you grinned.
"Not even a little funny business?" you teased, and you felt him chuckle lightly against your back.
"Nope. We're gonna be late," he said, pulling back suddenly but giving you a small tap on your ass with his palm before he walked away.
You glanced at the time and gasped quietly. He was right. Tommy and Maria's rehearsal dinner was in ten minutes, and even though it was just a handful of you at their house, you still didn't want to be late. Maria spent too much time planning this wedding and the last thing you were interested in doing was setting off the short fuse she had developed over the past couple weeks.
Quickly, you put on some old lipstick and fixed your dress before turning off the bathroom light. Joel was just finishing up knotting his tie, leaning forward a bit with his lips parted as he watched himself carefully in the mirror above your dresser and you had to resist the urge to push him down on the bed right then and there.
Ever since your energy slowly began coming back, so did your desire for Joel, but he was adamant about waiting until you were feeling better, which just left you feeling crazier by the day. You weren't sure if it was because you were finally on the mend, or maybe it had something to do with your breakthrough with him, but you found yourself feeling a lot needier than usual.
"Ready?" he asked you before running his fingers casually through his curls once more and walking over to you. You nodded, your lips pressed together as you glanced down at the blue shirt and navy slacks he picked out.
"You look good," you told him, your tone suggestive. He smirked and took your hand, leading you out of the bedroom.
"Ellie, we're leavin'," Joel called out to her, ignoring your compliment. "There's leftovers in the fridge!"
"Okay!" she called out, the sound of her music softly flowing through the floorboards as you made your way downstairs.
"Should we bring any pain killers in case you start gettin' sore?" Joel asked.
"No, I'll be fine."
"You sure? 'Cause-"
"Alright fine, we can bring them," you relented, just eager to get out of the house at this point. You pocketed them in your small purse and the two of you headed out towards Tommy and Maria's house, luckily arriving with two minutes to spare.
"How are you feeling?" you asked Maria as she greeted you with a warm hug.
"Me? What about you?" she said with a laugh.
"Oh, I'm fine! I want to hear all about you and what the future hellraiser is putting you through."
"She ain't fine," Joel said behind you, turning his head away from his brother. "Bill said-"
"Bill said I need to work on building up my strength. To me, that's fine," you told him, and he rolled his eyes.
"You two are so alike, it's scary, you know that?" Maria asked, leading you into the kitchen for a drink. You smiled and waved when you saw Carrie and Jake, along with Eugene and another woman who you thought was named Tina, but you couldn't quite remember, rounding out the rest of their wedding party.
"So really, how have you been feeling?" you asked her, taking the glass of wine she offered you.
"Nauseous, but it's getting a little better. And tired. Oh my god, I'm so tired all the damn time, it's crazy!"
"Oh, wow," you said, taking a sip before adding "you aren't even showing yet. How far along did Bill say you were?"
"I'm close to the end of the first trimester, thank god. He says that's when the nausea usually goes away and I should get some energy back," she said, checking the oven briefly before straightening back up. "But enough about me. How are you two?" she asked, nodding subtly towards Joel in the living room with Tommy and now Eugene.
"Better. Much better. We had a good talk after we got back, and I think we're on the same page," you said, glancing around the room at the others, making sure they were out of earshot.
"What page is that, exactly?" she pushed with a smirk.
"He's okay with not getting married or having kids," you replied with a noncommittal shrug. She narrowed her eyes at you and you frowned. "What?"
"Is that what you really want, though?"
"Well," you said, glancing around once again before lowering your voice. "I've come around to the whole marriage thing, but I don't really know how to tell him. I feel like I keep jerking him around and I don't know what to do."
"You need to be honest with him," she said immediately, and you rolled your eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, but I just made this huge fuss -"
"It doesn't matter. This is your life, you have to do what's right. He might be confused at first but you know he will be so fucking ecstatic he will forget all about it, right?"
"Yeah, I guess," you said, glancing over your shoulder to watch him laugh with Tommy, a glass of whiskey in his hand. "I just need to figure out how to tell him."
"And kids?" she asked, causing you to whip your head back around.
"I'm not there yet. But maybe one day," you finally admitted, making her squeal out with excitement and causing the rest of the guests to look your way.
"Sorry! The chicken just came out perfectly!" Maria said with a giggle. You laughed with her as you locked eyes with Joel and he raised a curious eyebrow at you. You shrugged and gave him a quick smile before turning back to Maria.
"Alright, enough of that. What can I do to help?"
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"You sure you ain't in any pain? Maybe you should take somethin' before bed," Joel said as he watched you wince when you leaned over to take your heels off.
"I'm okay, I promise. It's the damn shoes," you explained, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing your calf. "Was I this annoying when you were hurt?"
"Worse," he said with a grin before sitting down next to you and taking your legs over his lap, his own fingers taking over, rubbing the sore muscles and doing a far better job.
"Thank you," you said breathily as you closed your eyes and leaned forward so your head was resting on his shoulder. You sat in silence for a moment, his strong hands digging into your calves, content to be in your shared home with Ellie safe and sound, right down the hall.
"Joel?"
"Hm?"
"Something's different," you said softly, your eyes still closed.
"What'dya mean?" he murmured, his lips pressed against the top of your head.
"I feel... safe," you said, opening your eyes a bit and staring at the wall across from your bed, his fingers still working your legs.
"That's good, baby," he whispered.
"No, I mean..." you paused, searching for the words, not sure how to say it. "I mean I'm not scared anymore."
His fingers paused as he absorbed your words, trying to figure out what you were saying.
"That's... good," he repeated, not quite understanding. You sighed and tilted your face up to look at him, your arm stretching up to wrap around his neck, pulling him down for a soft kiss. Another time, you thought. You'll figure out how to explain it another time.
You slipped your tongue past his lips, your fingers raking through his hair as the hand that was once on your calf slowly migrated up past your knee and to your thigh. Greedily, you nipped at his bottom lip and leaned backwards so you were flat on the bed, Joel partially on top of you while your lips moved faster, leaving quick, desperate kisses against his mouth.
"Hang on," he whispered, but you kept going, your heart slamming in your chest. Now that you felt him on top of you again, it was sparking a fire between your legs.
"What's gotten into you?" he asked jokingly, pulling back a bit and pinning your wrists into the mattress, your chest heaving.
"Please, Joel," you begged, not caring how pathetic you sounded.
"C'mon, you know you ain't ready yet. You're still healing," he mumbled sweetly, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead.
"I am ready," you promised, but he just shook his head.
"We got a big day tomorrow," he whispered in your ear before sitting up, his weight no longer pressing against your upper half. "Let's just go to bed."
You pouted as you sat up next to him and he grinned.
"Ain't gonna work on me, sweetheart."
Then, an idea occurred to you. You shrugged and stood up, walking towards the bathroom as you slowly unzipped your dress, letting it pool at your feet only when you were in the safety of the small room. You turned around, hand on the door, only wearing your underwear as you took in Joel's slack jawed expression, his eyes slowly raking up and down your nearly naked frame.
"I'm gonna shower," you said quietly, his eyes still glued to your body. "You wanna join me?"
You could see the conflict in his face, trying so desperately to hold back and keep a clear head.
Finally, he forced himself to shake his head. You pouted again then shut the door, but not before sliding your underwear down your legs first, giving him a little show.
The water had barely gotten warm enough to step under the stream when he ripped open the shower curtain and stepped into the tub. You looked at him and smirked.
"I thought you said -"
He silenced you with his mouth covering yours, pushing you up against the cool tile while his knee slotted between your legs and his hand slowly drifted down your stomach. You gasped and smiled against his mouth when his fingers pressed exactly where you needed him.
"You need me that bad, huh?" he murmured against your mouth, and you nodded.
"Yes," you whined, arching your back off the wall, your wet body pressing up against his as his fingers dipped inside you and dragged them back out, smearing a mix of your arousal and water expertly over your clit.
"Can't be too loud, now," he reminded you, swallowing your breathless moans as his fingers circled faster. Your nails dug into his shoulders, holding on tightly as he brought you to the edge way too quickly, months of not being touched by him finally coming to a head.
"Joel," you whispered, burying your face into his neck as you felt the muscles in your stomach tense. He wrapped his other arm around your waist, holding you up just in time. Your legs went lax, your arms and Joel the only thing keeping you upright as you felt the coil in your belly snap, your sounds muffled against his skin and the water beating down around you.
"Better?" he asked when you finally found the strength to hold yourself back up. You nodded, your eyelids drooping, but you still slid your hand down his stomach. Right as you were about to wrap your fingers around him, he stopped you.
"Not tonight," he said, and you frowned. "It's late. We gotta get to bed."
If you weren't so exhausted, you would have put up a bigger fight. You leaned into him as he gently massaged shampoo into your hair, your eyes closed, blindly letting him direct you under the water to rinse before he got started on your body, his strong hands spreading the soap over your skin in circles.
He helped you get out of the tub and wrapped you in a towel as he dried your hair, his own body dripping water all over the floor. You lazily watched him work, a slow smile creeping across your face. He noticed and raised an eyebrow at you.
"I like it when you take care of me," you explained, and you swore you saw a little bit of pink dust his cheeks. He led you to bed, tucking the cool sheets around you as he brushed your damp hair away from your eyes. "Want you to take care of me forever," you mumbled as your eyes slid shut. He smiled, then his hand froze as his lips pursed in thought.
I feel safe.
I'm not scared anymore.
He finally understood what you were trying to tell him, and his heart began to flutter excitedly in his chest.
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