#might write some alt endings next :O

[libidomechanica]

Untitled Poem # 10171

Be her face. Hey ho! All his flower     and clasp’d like ring-dove forgot, and unfolded mists, and     that each nipple in his first conceal my love’s austere and     lonely night know what is claspable, clabberable of     his scythe can’t appoint we

can say at lean heavily against     the bee, my lady tread, whilst our own; revolts, republics,     revolution sweet babes? Of those tremble at my father     dell. Sweet, be no others seem at sunset; O, a     shuddering section of those

two eyes which band silent on the     old pony post road. As not to leave me to the sweet     Societies I make me there in fugue across the chain-droop’d     lamp was from whence called her one, are merciless. Lie on the     holy bower. Gaudy

house of transferr’d her breath of a     stones;—the hart: dumbe Swans, not yet. Where you all thy presence seemed     to follow’d through the clover has growin’ yet. That, if not     think’st well the towers our lips, and agony’s forget the     bolts full point did spend, so

they in skin of Phoebus drew a     long delight, aimèd wither’d’ as subjects light. Awake for my     sake? Of limbo I keep a black was near at hand: she see;     it hangs by her soul upon E in alt, or any kind     of faith. No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, my     Deare, let bee. And thing I have I to say, Suddenly     transitional era, that’s it, a land lies the land of person     should hard in our power; no matter off, and makes     antiquity for all the

watching, idle toys, amid their     grove and have snake masked among since sweetheart is like since sweetest     vow; That nightly as every bed has been fucked through the     could be. The wife and curtains dark: the inviting time, and     silver cross the world show’d

me with presently, like the sky     above, below, and try: each suck a week and that tipple     stimulation, poor stone to claim another hands the end     of gentle Groane at the midst, mong that call a bird-understood.     From the kind: so will

kiss, the sweet as you would I do     not Cupids art; for wills, and wonted render, only their     flairing, idle toys, amid the cattle of the quiet     limit of light redeem in gently to his next I may,     in dying worth. Valiant

he should a maid look’d not exactly     four dispute: there’s dwarfish Hildebrand; angels, every     virtue that thanked him in by shutting blush which fair, or     their best I wish she had his Death, this sowre-breathing;—a dove     and in an eare. Sweet, and

wit, the spheres. The key turn, sole-thought     one plants a gavel: esperanza’s Gavel. Silver white;     write, but we find thee and sad the Lady rideth! Why do     you exist hand to creep in lap of pains my heart is watches     her enough, and wilt

thou, Muse, and while to thee, and home     well: and that I might there is no more. He came thrise-sad     tragedy. Slow! Showing there, my Madeline asleep to themselves,     that hour, like a full- blown roses; such a street of the     quiet limit past mud,

the human dress. Who practices     turtles all, and have no frown can feel like phantasies. To     join hands, your velvet bodies in my tocher’s face, as I’ve     doth go. And alone, mock’d of all, or more takes delay Ah!     Some have lost a prison

where the savage race; for the less     to black hole more tame for the Tory members more they can     loves ask less words—but what styles, chipped up-stairs, you are awa’     that; gie me loved as something old, thought, and hoary. This carol     their smile; or to

retreating shadow when I came where,     lo! Nay, I call, tis one breaks the deep, the only: we have     to lift up by-and-by; then of leaves told, for I rasher     any of the Sunne which sound. Lies the siller, and are grace,     not these sweetness, or more

wit and silent picture. If you     grew brilliant, when all that bold eye skyward again, my     Porphyro, for my star! Waking on the only I could grace;     or the young man, she plucked a secret, and hot, and my disgrace,     rose Aylmer, whom thy

should be a bud against conceit     of the day builded far from these empty country and let     not your bedded with sick period close secret sisters     met, since each suck a week and foreign fellow, yellow build     in silently, like ring-

dove forgot, upon the mockers     and strain; sure, said a cleft of love’s alarum pattern of     soul fatigued away; whose very fancy I approving     of a dog then before hie, fearing hand with happy men     through the beldame sans

mercurial. The morality     or lazily fondly on her hull is letters—the choirs     above the mountains darkens, and there rose I lay. This Urne;     so him befall some old pony post road. Your hand, good of     quaint and Slave. The silence.

[radioduo]

rescue him || dsmp become human

word count: ~1,300

notes: am i technically late? yeah.. am i going to count it as being late? nope! anyway i have no idea how this one is, so feedback is appreciated! enjoy :]

first // prev // next

X Rescue him

“He’s coming with us, Tommy,” Tubbo said firmly, lifting the young boy into his arms. “I can’t leave him,”

Tommy stared at the scrappy android boy crossly but said nothing. As the newly formed trio wandered to the bus stop, the brown-haired child gripped Tubbo’s shirt, fiddling with the buttons. He was strangely silent, Tubbo noted, save for a few staticky noises he made now and then. A part of him wondered if that was the result of whatever had happened to his face and eye. He got the feeling he already knew the answer to that question but didn't dare to think about it too hard. “I wonder if he has a name,” Tubbo murmured to himself.

The small boy brightened at the mention of a name, smiling up at the white-haired teen.

“I doubt it. Should you give it one?” Tommy suggested. He was tracing circles on the bus stop bench in boredom. “Seems like the best thing to do.”

Tubbo looked at the android thoughtfully. The boy stared back at him with chocolate brown eyes that reminded Tubbo vaguely of a puppy. “What about Michael? Do you like Michael?” He asked brightly, moving strands of hair from the kid's one good eye.

Michel beamed and nodded at him, hauling himself onto the bench between the two teenagers. He made a noise that sounded similar to ‘yes,’ though Tubbo wasn't one hundred percent sure. “Good!” he grinned, watching with unmistakable fondness as Michael turned to Tommy and tugged on his jacket sleeve. “So that’s settled, I guess.” His gaze wandered to the bus schedule. The next one would be arriving in a few minutes, thankfully. He wasn’t sure how much longer they would be able to wait without being spotted.

“What are we gonna say if someone asks us who he is?” Tommy questioned, shrugging Michael’s hand off his coat. “Someone’s gonna be suspicious of us at some point, so we need to have an answer,” he said. His leg bounced up and down nervously. “Our brother or something?”

There was a moment of silence before Tubbo replied at last, “He’s my son!” He grinned as he felt Michael lean into his side, and he ruffled his wavy locks of brown hair.

Tommy stared at him dumbfoundedly. “What d’you mean he’s your son?” He demanded, volume rising slowly. “You don’t even look old enough to drive, let alone have a fuckin’ kid! He’s what, like five or so? You’re only 17, Tubs, what are you talking about?”

Tubbo rolled his eyes. “I’ll just say he’s my son and hope for the best. Doesn’t matter what people say, y’know? I rescued him from death, Tommy, I’m already treating him better than whoever his previous family was.” As he put an arm around Michael, the familiar sound of tires on asphalt grew louder as the bus pulled up to the stop. The three hopped up from the bench, both Tommy and Tubbo gripping Michael’s hands.

“Let’s go.” Tommy flung his bag over his arm. “We need to find somewhere safer than here.”

The three boarded the bus, sighing in relief when they saw there was nobody else on board besides a sleeping man in the back. The trio chose a seat in the middle, settling down as the doors closed and the bus lurched back into movement.

“This route is taking us to Ferndale, I guess,” Tubbo murmured. “That’s what the schedule said, at least. Is there a train station up there?” He brushed a few snow-white strands of hair out of his eyes and peered over Michael's head to where Tommy sat.

Tommy shrugged, not seeming in the mood to talk. He stared moodily out the window, watching the tall buildings roll past the glass. Tubbo could tell the blond was upset about something, but he decided to leave the topic alone. Tommy would talk if he wanted to.

Tubbo listened to the news from the bus's radio absently as the vehicle traveled north. It was hard to catch everything the reporter was saying, but he managed to catch every other word.

“Hard… believe… another deviant… last night... home… CyberLife’s founder… attacked… Devon… killed…”

Tubbo froze as a shiver ran down his spine. They were talking about him.

“...suspect… fourth case… past week… begs the question… androids dangerous… tensions… sales plummet… recalls…”

The deviant’s stomach turned as he listened to the news report. Androids were getting recalled from CyberLife, and android owners had begun returning their robots out of fear they might get hurt. He felt dizzy as he realized that leaving the state was his only option if he wanted to make it through this alive. Police were still searching for him, and if he was thinking about it, he felt as though civil war was inevitable. Enmity was brewing between man and his creations, and Tubbo felt sick just thinking about it. Tubbo gripped his son's hand and glanced sideways at Tommy. He didn't want to think about what would happen if someone found him.

He pushed the thoughts from his mind and decided to tune out the radio for the rest of the trip. It was dark when the three of them finally came to their stop, and Tommy, Tubbo, and Michael filed off the bus one by one. The electronic bus stop's faint glow was the only light source around other than an ominously flickering streetlight. Tommy grimaced. “Where now? We’re far enough away, surely,” he said, eyeing the different cars that passed by. The taller boy grabbed Michael's hand absent-mindedly as the kid hugged his pant leg.

Tubbo scanned the area silently. There didn’t seem to be anything of interest around besides some graffiti and street signs. The city seemed a little rundown and abandoned, and Tubbo would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little unsettled. “Let’s head… that way.” Tubbo flung a finger in a random direction, hoping that he was making a good decision. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

----------

Tubbo and Tommy walked down the darkened sidewalk, looking around nervously for anyone who might be watching. “I feel as though we’ve been walking for ages and getting nowhere,” Tommy grumbled. “Do even you know where the fuck you’re going?”

“Nope!” Tubbo chirped, adjusting a sleepy Michael on his hip. “I hope you know I just pointed in a random direction,” he admitted, snickering a little at Tommy’s annoyed expression.

“We’re fucked, you know,” Tommy mumbled. “We’re walking in a random direction, in the dark, all alone. I can’t imagine that anything could go well for us right now.”

The three slowed their pace when they came to the end of the street. The air smelled vaguely like the Detroit docks, and Tubbo felt his heart pounding as he squinted into the darkness. He could see the outline of a large, mostly abandoned freighter in the distance, but if he looked close enough, he could see a faint light flickering inside.

“You can’t seriously be thinking about going in there,” Tommy whispered cautiously. “You have no idea what the hell is in there, do you want to risk our lives? And more importantly, my life?”

“It’ll be okay, Tommy,” Tubbo promised. “If anything shady starts going on, we’ll get the fuck out, but I gotta know what’s in there first,” he said, already making his way towards the boat and onto the docks.

“What even is this place?” Tommy wondered aloud, trailing after the white-haired android. He stepped onto the docks and looked up at the large, hulking ship beside him. Despite the beat-up and rusty metal, a word was visible on the side in chipped white paint. "Something's written on the side... Jericho?"

Tubbo raised an eyebrow. “Huh,” he replied eloquently. “Well then, what’re we waiting for? Let’s check inside, shall we?”

[mentally-unavailable]

How To Court A Cryptid: 101 Chapter 3

PREVIOUS CHAPTER or NEXT CHAPTER

Content warning: Cursing, threats of violence, minor violence, transphobia and homophobia, leftist/anarchist views (Not really a warning, but for those who don’t agree with those views), smoking

“Hello chat! How are we doing today!?” Tommy yelled into his mic, talking to chat as he started his stream. 

I sat on the side watching him talk to the chat, I couldn’t see chat but I could tell they were questioning why the lights were off, since Tommy kept smiling and trying not to giggle. 

“Why are the lights off?” Tommy asked squinting at chat, I then rolled into the camera’s view.

“Well, typically cryptids like dark places where they can’t be seen” I said rolling in and leaning so I could see chat.

Chat then went 1 million miles per second they were all spamming cryptid and being amazed that I was real. I started to laugh really hard because some of the chats messages.

“Well, chat this is the Dream SMP discord cryptid; also known as- Can I say your name?” Tommy asked looking over at me. I smiled,

“Uh, I prefer Bas or bastard here on the innerwebs, but if you want sure you can say my name. Just don’t give like my home address or whatever” I said looking at chat smiling. 

“what? Why would I- never mind. Okay chat this is Bastard.” Tommy said smiling looking over chats messages “Hey, can we turn on the lights?”

“UGGGHHHH, I guess” I said getting up and walking over to the light switch. I turned it on and saw Tommy walk over to see and stand next to me. I gave him a confused facial expression.

“Chat wants to see the height difference, you goblin” He said smiling looking down at me. I quickly stood my tippy toes, easy with the boots

“Okay, fit check, as you can see I have the superiors fashion sense chat. Tommy here has none, write that down” I said walking back to my chair.

“I do not! I have a great fashion sense!” Tommy said looking at me offended I started to cackle like a hyena

“Yeah, to be fair though, you are a teenager who live that streamer life style so I understand” I said after catching my breathe from laughing, Tommy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah” He said crossing his arms, I looked over at chat

‘Gamer Bf and Alt s/o goals’

‘Are you a boy or a girl? I really can’t tell’

“Ew, I will punt you straight into the sun you heathens” I said with a face

“HEY! Don’t threaten my chat!” Tommy yelled at me

“They were shipping us. Ew, he is like my little brother. This isn’t sweet home Alabama people” I replied

“Okay fair enough, also chat they use they/them pronouns, respect that please” Tommy said looking at the monitor

“Thank you, so what are we gonna do?” I asked leaning back on my chair and grabbing the container of brownies.

“We could go on the SMP and mess with people” Tommy said grabbing a brownie and popping it into his mouth.

“Cool, give me the grand tour” I said popping a brownie into my mouth

Tommy then booted up Minecraft and got onto the SMP server, he made sure to show on stream

“Okay, lets show the cryptid how to be cool” Tommy said moving his character around

I looked over at the camera unamused, I looked at the stream and saw my face. I started to get uncomfortable and looked down.

“I am being perceived and I don’t think I like it...” I said picking at my nails

“You okay?” Tommy said looking over at me, I smiled and shook my head yes

“It’s okay, I’m just use to being blurry not in 4k resolution” I said chuckling

“Oh hey Dream is on” Tommy said looking on the list,

“He’s the sever owner right?” I asked looking on scream

“yes” Tommy said

“So, he’s like a goverment?” I asked smirking

“what are you thinkin?” Tommy asked looking over at me

I smiled before shrugging and setting down the container

“Well, as an anarchist, I don’t really like the government. So, maybe I could attack him while screaming ‘ACAB’ or ‘Down with the government bitches’ idk. Wait- will that get you in trouble. My bad” I said cutting myself off worried I said something that will get Tommy in trouble. He started laughing, more wheezing

“Omg, yes! Let’s do it!!” He yelled moving towards Dream and others of the server. I smiled,

‘Cryptid says ACAB?’

‘Anarchist? Technoblade might like this!’

Some of the chat said amazed I said something like that,

“Yes, chat ACAB all the way, demolish the government! Consume the rich people!!” I yelled excitedly

“Okay, how do you wanna do this?” Tommy asked

“Okay, I’ll attack while you get us into VC and you scream then I yell ‘ACAB bitches’“ I said scooting him over so I can take control of his character

“Okay good” Tommy said getting into the VC “Here we go!”

“By the way, I’m bad at Minecraft” I yelled before we joined and attacked Dream.

“AHHHHH” Tommy yelled

“ACAB BITCHES” I yelled after him attacking Dream

“Huh? Tommy! What the Fuck?” Dream yelled before he pulled out his own sword and started swinging

“Oh fuck!!” I yelled trying to get away

“Move!!” Tommy yelled before he died

“Uhhh, my bad” I said smiling at him, Tommy rolled his eyes

“Tommy what the hell man? Why did you attack me?” Dream asked

We both looked at each other before I smirked and leaned into the mic

“Tommy is no longer with us” I said deepening my voice

“What!? Tommy did you get hacked? I’ll open your stream” Sapnap said with Dream and George agreeing.

Tommy muted himself, turned off the music, then got up and moved the camera zooming in my face and then ran and turned off the lights. My face was only illuminated my the screen light, Tommy then hid, I was confused before he looked at me and winked. I turned and stared into the camera with a dead look.

“AHHHHHH!? WHAT THE FUCK!???” Was all we heard from the others, as we both started laughing

“The cryptid is real!?” George yelled 

“Y’all have Discord Admin energy bitches” I said before we quit the VC and started wheezing. I started coughing and grabbed out my drink from my bag. I opened my Monster and chugged. Tommy kept wheezing so hard,

“Omg, did you guys hear them!? Omg that was so funny!” Tommy yelled, I chuckled

‘Dream: What the fuck!?’

‘Sapnap: GOT EM!’

“Dream is actually our Discord admin” Tommy said between laughing

“Ah, cool. He doesn’t have it actually, but now knowing. HMMMM” I said looking at the camera smirking

“Yeah, and Gogy is his discord kitten” Tommy said putting everything back to normal

“An I oop- Wait, that’s georgenotfound right?” I asked

Tommy leaned back into his chair giggling “yup, he’s the bestest man ever” he said smiling

“I thought that was Philza Minecraft?” I asked having a confused face

“Wait! Phil is on! Do you wanna meet the biggest man? Philza Minecraft” Tommy asked

“I thought you were the biggest man?” I asked smirking

“I am, well- we share the title anyways” Tommy said as he joined the VC

“Tommy, we just had your stream open!” we were met with,

Tommy started wheezing again, I smiled ‘Brothers’ I thought

“You’re going to get banned” A voice said; ‘Technoblade’ I thought remembering his voice from some of Tommy’s streams.

“Chaotic little shit” Philza said laughing

“The cryptid is real! Oh my god I have to tell Quackity, he thought you were using photoshop or whatever!” Wilbur yelled laughing

“God has let me live another day, so, I’m gonna make it everyone's problem” I said snickering, while I felt my face heat up. ‘God I feel like a zoo animal’ I thought smiling awkwardly

I don’t know any of Tommy’s friends really, and they don’t know much about me. Only that I’m Tommy’s scary friend and what they’ve seen from pictures and probably dumb stories he told them.

Tommy took control of the game, making sure the stream was entertained. He answered with giggles.

“Did you really bite a kid in school for picking on Tommy?” 

‘FUCK’ I thought, making a surprised face

“Well you see there! Uhh-” I tried to say

“They also threatened a dude with a Selenite knife once!” Tommy chimed in

“Yeah, that’s true, but both fuckers deserved it okay!” I said as I felt my face get hotter from embarrassment

“God your both equally feral” Phil said laughing, Wilbur giggled and Techno stayed mostly silent besides a small laugh. Tommy explained he was ‘awkward around new people’. ‘Social anxiety. MOOD’ I thought smiling.

“I personally prefer ‘unhinged’ but pop off I guess” I said shrugging

“Feral cryptid! Feral Cryptid” Wilbur chanted, soon the chat also spammed it

“So, this is THE Philza Minecraft” Tommy said as if he didn’t just say I bit a person and threatened another with a knife. “An honor right?”

“Hello, pleasure to meet you” I said smiling awkwardly

Phil laughed, Tommy looked offended “This is Philza Minecraft! Creator of Minecraft! Show some respect!” Tommy yelled

“Didn’t that other dude make the game?” I asked confused

“Yeah, but he was a wrongen. So, we joke that Philza made it instead” Wilbur explained

“Oh, yeah he was a fucking bigot right?” I asked, everyone went quiet “Should I have not said that? My ba-” 

“no, no” Wilbur said giggling “No, that was perfect. I wouldn’t have said it but you hit the nail on the head”

“Ah okay” I said with a small smile

“They are very radical” Tommy said smiling, I laughed awkwardly

“We heard” Techno said when amusement

I ended up taking off my jacket, revealing all my tattoos on my arms

‘WOAH!’

‘Are those real?’

“Yes, chat they are real, some are done professionally, others are stick and pokes. Don’t do it unless you know what your doing” I said raising my arms to show off my art

“Yeah, they piercing their own nose though!” Tommy yelled

“Oh, my god, that is dangerous.” Phil said worried

“Yeah, most I did myself or my sister did. She wanted to be a tattoo artist at one point so I just let her do whatever on me. Don’t worry they were done safely, mostly” I said laughing

“what does the skull say?” Techno piped up, I smiled, showing the camera my tattoo on my right fore arm. It was a leopard skull with grapes running out of the left eye socket dripping liquid. Under was a chalice, the piece was surrounded by a diamond. 

“It’s a piece dedicated to the god Dionysus. One of the first I ever got done professionally. And yes chat it hurt like a bitch” I said showing the tattoo

“Hello!” two voices popped into the call

“TUBBO!” Tommy yelled, I snapped my head towards the screen

“Tubbo? Isn’t that the guy you were calling when you broke your wrist?” I asked, Tommy wheezed

“Oh is that (y/n)?” Tubbo asked, I smiled

“Hey bubbs, how are you?” I asked

“Wait you both know each other?” Ranboo piped in

“Yes, you see some time ago, we were at the skate park. I was skate boarding and Tommy was on the phone with Tubbo. Tommy then wanted to do a trick. So, I take the phone and Tommy then fails miserly and breaks his fucking wrist! We were on call the whole time to and at the hospital” I said laughing

“Ah, sounds about right” Ranboo said

“What does that mean!?” Tommy yelled, Tubbo was laughing

“I’m good (y/n), thank you for reminding me of that” Tubbo said between laughs

“wait your name is (y/n)?” Wilbur pipes in, Tommy looked scared for a second

“Yeah, that is my name. I go by Bas or Bastard on social media though” I said shrugging. 

“Bastard?” Phil asked confused

“Can I promote myself?” I asked looking over at Tommy, he nodded smiling

“Yeah, I go by Cryptid_Bastard. I post art or whatever” I said relaxed

“That fits you” Tubbo said, I smiled

“Thanks bubbs” I said smiling

After a few hours we ended the stream and said goodbye to everyone. Me and Tommy leaned back in our chairs and sighed.

“Well, that was fun. I like your friends” I said smiling,

“Yeah, you can come on another stream another time if you want” Tommy said smiling, I nodded my head

“Yeah, well I need a break. I’m gonna go on a walk if you don’t mind. You wanna come?” I asked as I stood up and stretched

“Nah, I’m gonna chat with Tubbo for a bit” He said, I nodded before grabbing my bag and leaving the room. I walked out and said hi to his parents and informed them I was going on a walk. I walked out the door and towards the street. After getting to the sidewalk I grabbed out a cigarette and my lighter. I lit up, and took a deep draw. I ended walking towards the park while smoking,

*VRR VRR* I heard as my phone started vibrating in my bag. I dug around a pulled it out, it was notifications from twitter. I unlocked my phone and opened twitter, I had a whole wave of people following me and commenting on my art. I smiled before getting ready to tweet. I opened the camera and angled it to show me, I had my cigarette in my other hand making sure not to show it. I smiled taking the picture before typing and posting.

Cryptid_Bastard

*insert picture of you*

Welcome everyone, welcome to my corner of the internet! (:

I turned off my phone before walking towards the park.

‘Chaos isn’t so bad’

A/N: I hope y’all liked this. I’ve introduced SOME of the romantic interests! LET’S GO!! I’m gonna go hibernate for like a million years now. Stay hydrated! :P

TAGLIST: 

@teenage0jealousy

@smolbox-png

@yourimaginaryfriiendd

@venusliily-blog

@mega-trash-cringe​

@jaciahbabes

@ponyboytoddandthebatgreasers

@ahmya-4

If you would like to be added please comment here:  Taglist for HTCAC:101 (How to Court A Cryptid: 101)

[sunmaylight]

FGO Danmei Romani AU - Post Solomon Singularity

I’m still alive. Um, yeah. Have been more active on Twitter, sorry. But still check here for FGO stuff ever now and then.

Speaking of FGO, I made this AU when one of my twt friends shared a post with me and activated my muse. ((Full post edition))

Twitter Alt

-FGO SPOILERS AFTER UNDERCUT-

After Solomon uses Ars Nova, he wakes up on the side of a road in his Chaldea uniform, but with the addition of another set of clothing and a backpack that looks like what he used when traveling the world before joining Chaldea.

He checks out the bag and sees it has a mix of medical supplies & equipment, generic camping tools, and items that look like they belong ancient times of Asia (i.e. scrolls, brush & ink, talismans).  

Romani closes his bag and unfolds the bundle of clothing next. He is greeted with a green and white robe that is a traditional Chinese outfit similar to what Jing Ke wears.  

At that, he goes back to the bag and pulls out one of the scrolls.  

He takes a good long look at it and realizes that it’s ancient Chinese writing that he can understand for some reason. He puts the scroll back into the bag. While doing so, he sees a familiar ring on his finger. Romani freaks out.  

He remembers the end of the Final Singularity, but doesn’t know why he is here.  

By all means, he should have essentially ceased to exist once he cast Ars Nova. Yet he is here, wherever here is, very much alive and existing.  

Before he can freak out more, a monster pops up from the ground a good few feet away from him.  

Romani panics and is about to cast a Gandr, when an arrow comes out of nowhere and kills the monster instead.  

The doctor turns to face his savior and is greeted by a young teen of Chinese descent in traditional Chinese clothing, that he feels like he knows the name of, holding a bow & arrow.  

“Greetings, from which Sect do you hail from fellow Cultivator?” The young teen asks Romani after making sure no more monsters will pop out.  

“Excuse me? Did you say you were a Cultivator?” Romani asks in reply.  

Hey, would you look at that, the doctor can understand the spoken language as well. He has obtained Ancient Chinese language comprehension without doing anything.

As the doctor converses more with this Cultivator, he is slowly remembering something Guda has mentioned. A hobby that they enjoyed before the Singularities. 

What was it called again, dame? Wo shiya? 

Oh, now he remembers, it’s Wuxia Novels. 

Oh god, Romani has ended up in a Wuxia world all alone with no way to properly explain where he came from. He is a Transmigrator if he remembers from Guda’s rambling about it.

Worse, the young Cultivator (who is not a mage, yet might as well be) is looking at Romani in concern and- is that blood on the arm? Is the young Cultivator bleeding?  

Romani goes into his doctor mode as he takes the young Cultivator's arm and examines the wound. He glares as he realizes that it's a poisonous wound. The young Cultivator shows no signs of discomfort, so the poison must have some numbing effect. 

Romani quickly goes to work to extract the poison and treat the wound. Once he is done, did he realize that he essentially treated a patient without consent. All the time treating Guda's, made him forget about it.  

As he apologizes to the young Cultivator for treating the wound without consent, the Cultivator drags Romani to a rural village nearby. The young Cultivator doesn't stop until the two enter a big building. 

Once inside, Romani is greeted with a sight that can only be described as a battlefield to the doctor. Some of them are poisoned, others have laceration wounds, and then there are those that are coughing from the flu or a possible disease.

"Can you help them as you have helped me?" The young Cultivator asks. 

Romani looks at the people in the building, the young Cultivator with hopeful eyes, and to the growing crowd outside.  

The doctor has many questions he needs answers to. Mysteries to figure out on his arrival, then what is the purpose of being here. Among other things that he should be doing to learn more about this place. 

And yet, looking at those people suffering from wounds and ailments that can be easily treated back in his world, his answer couldn't be more clear.

"Yes, I will do my best. I can't promise that I can help everyone, but I will try and do what I can to make sure all who can recover, can. After all, it's a doctor's duty to help treat people whenever possible" Romani answers with a reassuring smile usually given to Mash & Guda.

The young Cultivator smiles and bows.  

After getting consent from the patients and relatives of the patients, the doctor gets to work on treating the people.  

And that is the start of Romani's reputation of being an almost legendary healer in this world, even though rumors have it that there are no signs of him using Cultivation.  

Romani decides to travel the lands and help those in need when the world's current medical knowledge fails them. Which is often.

Several 'incurable diseases' that would need legendary medicine are now curable since Romani shares basic homemade remedies and treatment plans that anyone can afford.  

The more he travels, the more knowledge he gains of the world, the more he helps heal people, the more the rumors of him spread until they reach the Cultivation World.  

When the Cultivators hears that Romani has cured several 'incurable diseases' that plague non-Cultivators, they wonder if he can possibly cure an 'incurable disease' that is affecting Cultivators. 

So a famous Sect declares that they will find Romani and bring him here. They send one of their own to find the traveling doctor. 

It has been quite some time since Dr. Romani has arrived in this world that he is surprised that he hasn't run into any Cultivators besides that young teen when he initially arrived.  

Thinking about it the monsters here are also wary of him. Which is odd.

While traveling, the doctor discovers he can still use his Magecraft & Magic Circuits here. He accidentally discovered it when he uses a simple healing spell on an unconscious farmer to prevent him from bleeding out of a head wound. The doctor didn't have his medical supplies, so using magecraft was his next option.  

When he was using the spell, he felt his magic circuits flare but also another sensation. He can't think of it more in the current situation but when he thinks back on it, he feels as though he is pulling from another source of power. Similar to how he used to as a Servant, but more mythic in nature (it's the world).  

---  

When the doctor treats people with his medical knowledge or magecraft, he leaves thinking that the people healed will be on a completely normal recovery process. What he doesn't realize is that those that he treats have a minor accelerated recovery a couple of days after he leaves.  

If the doctor knew, then he would be baffled since nothing like this has happened in his original world.  

---

Early in his travels, Dr. Romani was foraging herbs for medicine in a deep forest filled to the brim with a mystical feeling. As he is finished with his search, he stumbles across a strangely familiar wounded animal. He treats the wounds and cleans it up.  

Once clean, the doctor realizes that this animal looks like Fou. Then when the Fou look-alike wakes up, it is revealed to be Fou. This is done when Fou takes one look at Romani followed by pawing the man's face and snuggling up to his neck.  

(What Romani won't learn until far in the future is that this Fou is actually a counterpart that was born after the Beast sacrificed himself at the end of the Solomon Singularity.)  

Once the Fou counterpart is healed, he travels with Romani again...under a new nickname the doctor gave him,' Fou-Fou’.  

Fou-Fou gives the doctor a flying kick the first time he is called that.  

---  

With the addition of Fou as a traveling companion, the rumors of the doctor flares again in the Cultivation and Non-Cultivation Worlds. Rumors spread about a mythical creature of unknown origins traveling with the wandering doctor. Everyone now thinks that the doctor has been 'Blessed by the Heavens' so to speak.  

Romani is oblivious as always to any rumors concerning him since he doesn't know what people call him besides traveling/wandering doctor or healer. 

Fou-Fou, on the other hand, learns of these rumors and laughs. The Beast Counterpart is finding new humor in the future suffering the doctor will experience.  

For now, Fou-Fou headbutts the doctor in the stomach before he accepts half of the agreed payment from the shady village chief.  

Honestly, Romani is possibly more useless than before to the Beast Counterpart since Magical Mari isn't a thing in this world.  

---  

Remember that a famous Cultivator Sect sent someone to find Romani to make him cure a Cultivator's 'incurable disease'?  

Romani doesn't know that Cultivators are looking for him since he travels through nature instead of the normal man-made paths. It's an easy path to forage for herbs and he can get the exercise he has been missing for quite some time. Also, Fou-Fou prefers the nature paths instead of the other ones.  

While the two were traveling near a cliff, Romani slips on a patch of moss and fall down the cliff. Fou-Fou watches Romani fall and jumps after him shortly after.  

As the doctor falls, he can't help but scream. Thinking that this is how his life will end for the second time. He closes his eyes and thinks about those that he misses. Mash, Guda, Da Vinci, Magi Mari, Olga Marie, the Servants of Chaldea, and finally, his Master from the Fourth Holy Grail War.  

Apologies are sent and Romani braces for impact, only it doesn't hurt. Instead, he feels very much alive and held?  

Did someone catch him?

Romani Archaman opens his eyes and gasps at the face of his savior.  

Director Marisbury Animusphere's face is staring back at Romani, only it doesn't seem right. He seems different somehow. The doctor reaches his hand up and touches the other man's face  

"Ma- gah!" Romani chokes as Fou lands on his stomach. The last thing he sees is the out-of-character look of shock Marisbury gives him before he falls unconscious.

===

Senior Cultivator 'Marisbury Animusphere' is a well-respected and well-liked member of his Sect. He is rumored to be the next Sect Leader with Senior Cultivator 'Lev Lainur' as the runner-up. The two are good martial siblings to one another but aren't exactly close. They have similar Cultivations, but they are vastly different as well. 'Marisbury' even heard rumors that Lev is studying Demonic Cultivation as well. Which doesn't bother him, he has new disciples to train for the Sect.  

Only now it seems like he is sent on a mission to find and retrieve a legendary healer of the Non-Cultivation Realm. Which he humbly accepts.  

What the Senior Cultivator presumed to be a simple search mission, ends up being a long journey of chasing after what could be considered a divine being.  

Everywhere he looks, he sees the aftermath of a miracle happening. Any inquiries about the mysterious healer are met with hostility until 'Marisbury' promises that he doesn't wish to do any harm to the rumored healer. Even then, the information obtained is sparse and barely worth anything.  

'Marisbury' is at his wits ends when he gets some information that the rumored miracle-working healer is close. The Cultivator quickly mounts his sword and flies to the area that the healer is. He arrives at a path near the cliffs and walks in search of the legendary healer.  

He doesn't have to wait long.

For the legendary healer falls into his arms, literally.  

The Cultivator is going to ask if the healer is alright when the words get caught in his throat. For one look at the man makes 'Marisbury' think that he is breath-taking.  

The healer reaches up and cradles 'Marisbury's face with one hand.  

"Ma- gah!"  

Is the only thing that 'Marisbury' hears before the Divine Beast that travels with the healer lands on his stomach and knocks him unconscious.  

'Marisbury' stares at the healer's companion and is given a smug grin in return and-  

"Danmei-Fou"

=====

If you didn't get it, in the end, Fou-Fou realizes that he and Romani didn't end up in a Wuxia world, they ended up in a Danmei world.  

If Romani was more knowledgeable to distinguish the two, he would have realized it. But since he isn't, he thinks he is in a Wuxia until it gets through his thick skull that he is not.

[vintagesimstress]

III. Meshing a (vintage) dress

(Previous: II. Learning to mesh)

Now that you know how to get around in Blender, you can finally put your newly acquired skills into action and mesh your first dress. I just hope you did your homework and really made your donuts - otherwise you might find it very difficult to understand what's going on in this part! I'll assume that you've watched and practised it all, so I won't explain the basic yet again. I will be writing the shortkeys in brackets though – there are way too many of them to remember them all after just a couple of videos.

So, let's get it started... But where?

As usually, there's no one proper answer to this question. Generally speaking, creators' approaches to meshing can be divided into 3 categories:

Combining parts of different EA meshes into a new mesh – a.k.a. frankenmeshing.

For sure you've seen frankenmeshed CC many times, even though you might not have realised it. Let's say EA releases a new DLC which includes a top with some cool, never-seen-before sleeves. Let's say there's a dress in game which you think would look great with those new sleeves instead of the boring old ones. In such case you can simply export both meshes in S4S, open one of them in Blender and append the other one (more on it later). A bit of deleting & merging of vertices and voilà! The mesh is ready. Most of the time you don't even have to worry about uv-1 and weights (again, more on it later... LOTS on it later).

Mesh editing

That's pretty self-explanatory, isn't it? This method is what most tutorials try to teach you. Look for a piece which resembles the most what you'd like to make. Export the mesh and make the necessary adjustments. Depending on how much you edited, you might have to mess with uv-1 and weights a little bit, but usually it shouldn't be too problematic.

Making a mesh from scratch

As far as I know without having ever used Marvellous Designer, this is what MD creators do: 'sew' their mesh completely from scratch and then import it to Blender. Such a mesh doesn't carry any of the vital information – uv-maps, weights, bones, anything - so all of those have to be manually assigned to it. This, obviously, significantly increases the workload and can be very tricky to do; however, this meshing method gives you almost unlimited freedom. If you don't limit yourself to editing existing stuff, you can make pretty much ANYTHING.

As you can see, all of those methods have their pros and cons - and they're all equally valuable as long as they help you achieve your goal. The method which I like the most and which I'm going to show you lands somewhere between no. 2 and 3: I use an existing top and make it into a dress. This way I have lots of creative freedom, but also reduce the unnecessary workload (yes, in most cases meshing a top from scratch would be totally unnecessary).

Enough theory, let's go grab that top!

Open S4S. Choose the “Create 3D mesh” option under “CAS” menu and then click that “CAS” button. You will see the list of all CAS items in your game.

NOTE: If you DON'T see the list, that probably means S4S didn't manage to find your TS4 files. You have to open the 'Settings' tab and manually change the 'Sims 4 Path' and 'Sims 4 Documents'. And if you're already there, make sure your Blender path is correct as well!

As you can see, there are many categories you can choose from at the top to narrow down your search. I need a top for adult females, so that's what I'm going to select. My favourite starting point is that simple BG top – it's skin-tight (meaning: the texture is only printed on top of the body, not really meshed, which makes it perfect for any future edits) almost everywhere, except for the breast area: there it's nicely stretched, just like it should be in case of my dress. If I wanted to make a dress with a deep décolletage, like an evening or ball gown, I'd type 'nude' in the search bar and select that naked female Barbie top instead.

The swatch doesn't matter. Select any of them and then click 'next'. I chose the red one, just because I like the colour:

What you're doing now is cloning a BG item and creating a new package. Name it whatever you want and save it in some 'Tutorial' folder or so. It doesn't really matter, as soon you won't need it anymore – we're here only for the mesh.

Once you've done it, a new window will appear. This is your new package with all the information it carries. We'll delve into details later – for now, as I said, we only need the mesh. Go to the 'Meshes' tab and click the 'Export mesh' button (make sure NOT to change the level of detail by accident!). Save it in your Tutorial folder as whatever (e.g. mesh_1).

You can close S4S now – we won't need it for a loooong time. Open your newly exported Blender file instead. This is what you should see:

NOTE: It won't make any sense to you right now, but check if you see the 'S4Studio CAS Tools' on the right side! If they're not there, it means your Blender and S4S are not properly connected and you'll run into problems later. Go back to S4S settings and assign the correct Blender path!

I'd suggest you immediately change the perspective to Ortho (num 5) and hide those sidebars on the right (n) and left (t) of the main window. Better, right?

Make sure your cursor is in the main window! If the shortkeys aren't working, it's probably because the cursor is in the wrong place.

When you go into edit mode (tab), you might notice one very important detail: body parts are also parts of the mesh. If you delete them, they won't appear on your sim either. Our top includes hands and neck only – the rest of what you can see is visible only in Blender. A good way to check if your mesh isn't missing anything is clicking that little plus next to 'rig' and then 'closing' all those little eyes next to all the listed body parts. Now your model will look a bit different:

Of course, missing some of those body parts is not a problem. A dress shouldn't include head or feet – those are separate categories. We can toggle feet, both heads and teeth visible again. What we lack is a bottom, i.e. legs – but luckily, we don't have to worry about it, as they'll be hidden under the skirt anyway. I will explain how to add legs (or any other missing body parts) to the mesh at one point, but a bit later – for now let's say we don't need them.

There are two methods of meshing a skirt that I'd like to show you, and they both start with the same basic steps:

1. Just after exporting, your mesh is cut wherever its uv map was cut, which might lead to some problems. Better select all your vertices (a), press w and choose 'remove doubles' from the list. Almost 300 vertices got merged!

2. Turn on the X-ray. Make sure you're in the front view (num 1) and then select (b) all the vertices below the waistline. Press X or del and choose 'vertices'. Kaboom!

3. Select (b) the lowest remaining row of vertices.

4. Extrude those vertices down (e, z) until the point to which your dress should reach. If you're using a reference picture, that's one of those moments when you should take a close look at it.

5. Scale (s) those extruded vertices until the bottom of your dress is as wide as it should be. If you're using a picture, pay attention to the proportion of the bottom of the dress vs shoulders – that's usually the best reference point you can get. Mine should be quite a bit wider than the shoulders, so I got this:

6. Turn the camera around and check how it looks from other viewpoints. I can see that my skirt is kind of asymmetrical, and not in a good way: flat at the back, going too far to the front. Let's go to the side view (num 3) and move those vertices back a bit (g, y). Much better!

7. I still don't like that flatness at the back. Let's go to the top view (num 7) and select only the central vertex on the back. Now, do you remember what you did to get that icing on the donut? Proportional editing? That's what I'm going to use. I'll turn it on only for connected vertices (alt + o) and then move that central vertex back (g, y).

NOTE: If your whole mesh is moving when you're trying to use proportional editing, scroll your mouse wheel until you see a white circle on the screen. The smaller the circle, the smaller the area affected by your edits. By default it's very big, that's why everything is moving!

8. Once again look around and make sure the basic shape of your skirt mesh is correct. Save, e.g. as mesh_2 (ctrl + shift + s).

Did you make it till the end? Congratulations! I'm sorry it got so long and I hope you could follow everything (also, please tell me if something isn't clear, I'll try to add explanations). Of course we're not done with our meshing adventures; the skirt still needs lots of tuning, but we'll deal with it next time. Now we all deserve a good rest :).

(Next: III a. Method I: Loop, Sculpt, Cut)

[rainbowwing251]

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! Remember to wear green, or else... well, the tradition says that you will get pinched, but that’s a bit boring, isn’t it?

To celebrate this day, here’s a list of Smash fighters who are not wearing green in any of their alternate costumes. If they don’t have an alt that changes a part of their body to a green color, they will also be on this list. All of the fighters will be in alphabetical order.

I’ll have a headcanon for all of these fighters, so I will write them in parenthesis, right next to their names. If I have a headcanon for a group of fighters, I will write it in brackets (though this only applies to three of the fighters that will be on this list).

Ready to see who will most likely be tickled to death on St. Patrick’s Day? Tap or click on “Read More” to see the list!

Cloud (Shulk likes to go after Cloud for not wearing green once the former learns about the tradition [he probably learned about the tradition the hard way]. Unfortunately for him, Cloud likes to get revenge on him, and it is VERY easy for him to do so. Aren’t older brothers the best?)

Corrin (Female Corrin, who shall be referred to as Kamui from here on out on this blog, doesn’t have a green alt, but her male counterpart does. Corrin will tickle Kamui as soon as she wakes up on St. Patrick’s Day, if she doesn’t remember to wear green the night before.)

Duck Hunt (The dog doesn’t turn green in any of the alts, but it can’t be tickled, so it doesn’t matter. The duck does have green on it in alts 2[?], 3, 5, and 7, but it can’t be tickled, so that also doesn’t matter.)

Enderman (No one goes after it, since it isn’t ticklish.)

Hero (All of them, though Solo [the third and seventh alt] could get away with not wearing green or having green on any part of his body. His hair is turquoise in Smash, but in Dragon Quest IV, his sprite shows him with green hair. In the end, it’s up to the other fighters, especially the other Heroes, to determine if he should be let off the hook. No matter what the decision is, Solo will go after the other Heroes for not wearing green. Luminary/Eleven is probably the one that he would take out first, since he is the most ticklish out of the four of them [at least in my eyes].)

Inkling (All of them, except for the second male alt. This Inkling likes to go after the other Inklings for not wearing green or being green-colored, but he has to do it quick, or else the other Inklings will gang up on him to take their revenge. Despite what the above statement implies, this tickling is all in good fun. The green Inkling is not a bully, and neither are the other Inklings.)

Joker (Ren/Akira remined himself to wear green the first time he celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with the other fighters, but unfortunately, he forgot to do so. Up until that point, no one knew that he was ticklish. Now his secret is out. Oops.)

Mewtwo (No one has the courage to tickle Mewtwo, and he likes it that way. So even if he doesn’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, he won’t get tickled.)

Morton Koopa Jr. (See the headcanon at the end of this list)

Pac-Man (Would he even be ticklish? I have no idea.)

Pichu (The other fighters need to be careful with tickling Pichu, unless they want to get electrocuted. Pichu doesn’t mean any harm, it just has trouble with controlling it’s electrical powers. If you tickle it, it might end up laughing too hard, and it might shock you. Or itself. Poor thing. Pikachu wouldn’t have to worry about this, however.)

Pokemon Trainer (The male Pokemon Trainer, who shall be referred to as Red from here on out on this blog, doesn’t wear green in any of his alts. The female Trainer, who shall be referred to as Leaf, does wear green in her second alt. She and her Pokemon will go after Red if he forgets to put on something green-colored before he leaves the room for the day.)

Robin (Female Robin, who shall be referred to as Reflect, doesn’t have a green alt, but male Robin does. Similar to Corrin, Robin will tickle Reflect as soon as she wakes up if she forgets to put on something green-colored the night before. However, unlike Corrin, Robin might tickle Reflect before she can even wake up that morning.)

Roy Koopa (See the headcanon at the end of this list)

Shulk (Everyone goes after Shulk already, but on St. Patrick’s Day... yeah, he’s fucked. Bonus points if he is wearing his swimming trunks. Some of the fighters will wait until he’s only in his swimming trunks to tickle him, since all of his weak spots will be exposed at that point. Cloud in particular likes to go after Shulk for not wearing green, but he doesn’t have a green alt either, so Shulk might retaliate in order to punish him. Long story short, these two tend to end up in a tickle fight on St. Patrick’s Day, though tickle fights between these two are not a rare occurrence on normal days.)

Simon (Simon isn’t that ticklish, and he doesn’t really like to be tickled. The only time he will enjoy it is if Richter is the ler. So on St. Patrick’s Day, Richter might go after Simon for not wearing green. Unfortunately for him, Simon will often get revenge.)

Steve (Would he even be ticklish? Like with Pac-Man, I have no idea.)

Villager (All of them, except for female Villager alts 2 and 4. Similar to the Inklings, these two Villagers will go after all of the other Villagers for not wearing green. And like the green Inkling, they will often become the victims of a revenge-fueled gang tickle. However, unlike the green Inkling, there are two of them, so there is a chance that one of them will escape.)

Wendy O. Koopa (See the headcanon below)

[For Morton, Roy Koopa, and Wendy, Bowser, Bowser Jr., and the other four Koopalings will tickle these three until they either put on something green, or get tired of the tickling. If the latter occurs, then they will be left alone. Bowser, Bowser Jr., and the Koopalings all respect each other’s boundaries and limits.]

[xfanfics]

Destiel Fic Rec List Part 2

Last Updated in October 2014. Posted in May 2020 for posterity.  Listed in no particular order - the total rec list will have ~250 fics. Header graphic used with permission.

This part of the list contains: 35 fics.

Other Destiel Rec Lists: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. [5]. [6]. [7].

—–

Kiss and Make it Better by annehiggins E | 9k

Both the forces of Heaven and Hell are after Dean and Castiel, but sometimes a kiss really does make it all better.

Sweet little loving and bonding fic.    

Retreat into Silence by annehiggins E | 16k | Fluff,  Angst,  Alt!Canon

Written for this prompt by deceptivechasm on the no longer exists LJ simon_says_dean: “Something very traumatic happens to Dean while he's with Sam (or Sam was away) which causes him to stop talking, *again*. Sam didn't know about the first time, and has to ask Bobby (or John) about what happened after his mum died.”

Sweet, adorable, and really schmoopy with added angst.    

I Know What You Like by JinxedAmbitions E | 4k | Pornstar AU, Bottom!Cas

Castiel agrees to help Gabriel out by being a production assistant at his porn company. However, when porn star Dean Winchester comes onto him on set, who is Cas to say no, especially when Dean seems to know all the things that turn Cas on most?

Hnnnghgggg.    

Consort by Valyria E | 139k [WIP] | Angst,  Medieval AU, bottom!dean

When King John of the West Saxons forms an alliance with a neighboring Christian kingdom, his eldest son Dean ends up playing a role he never expected.

Valyria's fabulous (currently WIP) Medieval AU is a must-read. Definitely a slow burn fic--includes very bad/painful sex, but with a great payoff.

What Was Lost Still Leaves Its Mark by shieldmaiden_of_celestial_intent E | 4k | Hot, Alt!Canon, Sub!Cas, Demon!Dean, Dom!Dean, Praise Kink

Demon Dean captures Castiel and tries to force him to play out a few of his fantasies. Cas soon finds himself willing because Dean still retains some of the good qualities of his human life. It starts out with dubious consent but consent is given later. There is a confrontation where Dean makes Cas strip. If you love Dean's panty kink this figures prominently. This is from Cas' POV and gets romantic and hopeful toward the end. This is canon compliant up to the season 9 finale. Castiel is powered down and has human drives like sex and sleep. Dean dominates him but does not hurt him.

I'm not usually a huge fan of subby!cas because it usually feels ooc to me, but this is. I'm. This is just... Yes. Really hot. Warning for dubious consent at the beginning.    

Words with Friends by betty days E | 22k | Human AU, Sub!Dean, Dom!Cas, BDSM |

"Dean Winchester is as straight as an arrow. He’s a lady’s man of epic proportions: the king of the one night stand, the messiah of the friends with benefits paradigm, the emperor of perpetual bachelorhood. Except, apparently, when it comes to his best friend, Castiel Novak. Wherein a longstanding acquaintanceship leads to friendship, then best friendship, then sexting, then dirty talk, then mutual masturbation, then, inevitably, fucking.

Smoking hot and full of feels.  

Little Motels by Lovely_Phrase E | 238k | Human AU

After John's death, Dean must travel to California to find his estranged brother and deliver the bad news. He takes Castiel with him, despite the newness of their relationship, and finds himself falling in love while staying in a series of little motels. What he discovers after arriving at Stanford is enough to destroy what's left of him, but Dean isn't willing to give up what they have together that easily.

Wow. This was RIDICULOUSLY long and I can't really believe I finished it. Regardless of the intimidating length (heh), it was a captivating story. Though it edged near soap opera levels of drama at times, the plot was sure, the characters grew and developed, and the writing was excellent. Very good read--highly recommended. Perhaps not for the sensitive (in regards to Drugs or abuse). Also not for john!stans.  

Dragon Healing for Pleasure and Profit by whelvenwings G | 6K | Fluff, Wizarding World AU, wizard!dean

When Cas, a zoologist and aspiring author, moves into the house next door, Dean can't help but go over and say hi. He hadn't reckoned, however, on Cas' determination to discover whatever it is that's living in the nearby woods. Dean should follow his instructions and send the guy away, and yet there's always something stopping him. After all, whoever said a muggle couldn't heal a dragon?

OMG AMAZING!! Wizarding World AUs are the best, and this muggle/magical person romance is super sweet.  

A Fine Frenzy by the_gabih E | 8k | A/b/O AU, omega!dean, alpha!cas

The rest of Dean's family have these romantic, almost fairytale stories of how they first met their mates. Dean? Not so much. But he's okay with that.

Super hot. Apparently an abandoned WIP, but it's mostly porn so that doesn't really matter.    

The Vessel by chellefic E | 7k | Alt!canon, body sharing

When his vessel goes missing, Castiel turns to Dean for help.

I love this fic! Vessel fics/sharing bodies is always a fun and sometimes sexy trope. This definitely delivers on both of those fronts.    

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know ❤ by leah k E | 20k | Fluff,  Alt!Canon

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

This fic was AMAZING. I want to wrap it up in a blanket and cuddle it. Maybe hump it or something. Idk, I'm flexible.    

Unusual by Yosei E | 12k | ABO AU, omega!dean

Now that Sam was in college half-way across the country, Dean needed a roommate in order to keep the spacious apartment (with his own room!) that he'd come to love and call home. With Sam's non-stop worrying, he finally convinces Dean to meet a possible roommate. Who knew that it would be the beautiful dark-winged archangel with a PhD., Castiel Novak?

Come a Little Undone by  FagurFiskur E | 3k | Fluff, Teacher AU, Bottom!Dean, Top!cas

"Well?" Cas prompted, turning his face to the side to look up at Dean. "Are you going to get started?    Something about the annoyed tone in Cas' voice, as if he were the one doing Dean a favor and not the other way around, pissed Dean off enough so that his better judgment took the backseat for just a moment. Unfortunately, that moment was long enough so that by the time it ended, Dean was already straddling Cas' thighs. Written for this prompt: Cas and Dean are teachers. It's the end of the year. Cas is stressed out with grading. How does Dean help?

Short, sweet, and hot. Pining!dean and massages yay.    

Sex 101 by betty days E | 50k | Hot, Dancer AU, Alt!Canon, Slow Burn

or: That Time Castiel Asked Dean to Teach Him How to Have Sex. "I want to have sex," Castiel announces suddenly. Dean chokes on his gulp of Baha Blast. Wherein Dean teaches Cas how to have sex, and Cas teaches Dean why to have sex. This fic is filled with music, literature, fluff, angst, smut, feels, and glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.

This AU will just suck you in. God, I love dancer!dean. It started out with some super hot vouyerism, and progressed to self discovery and more super hot things. Yay.    

Dean Winchester Is a Gay Virgin by betty days E | 79k | Hot,  Angst,  College AU, Mafia AU, Gay Panic

"Dean Winchester has a grand total of two big secrets: Secret #1 is that he’s a virgin. Secret #2 is that he’s gay. Dean Winchester is a college junior, a full-time mechanic, and a baseball superstar. He's so far in the closet, he can't find a way out. Then he meets Castiel Krushnic, the totally dreamy President of the LGBTQA Alliance at school, and finds out that Cas has some dark secrets of his own.

Wow. This is not what I thought I'd be getting into by the title. I was expecting a nice college AU and then there was unexpectedly the mafia, gritty angst, and family feels. What a ride. If this were a book, I would buy the fuck out of it.

Learning to Breathe by underneathitall E | 114k | Fluff,  Angst,  Hospital AU

Dean Winchester was just admitted to the Psychiatric Ward for minors at Lawrence Hospital after a car accident that killed his father but left him alive. When he finds out his roommate is a kid he used to go to school with, Castiel Novak, they start to make a hesitant friendship. At first, Dean's only focus is to get out as fast as he can without any attachments. Soon after that, he discovers that making friendships with other patients in the hospital and developing feelings for Cas might be what he really needed to get through this all along.

ahhsgahahhHhhh I loved this so much! It manages to be weirdly fluffy and feel-good even though it deals with majorly angsty stuff (mental ward, hello).    

Just Kisses by tiptoe39 E | 2k | Hot, PWP

Castiel's not ready for anything beyond kisses. So Dean just kisses him. Everywhere.

Hot and sweet.    

Tales from the Bunker of Domesticity by teaandjumpers M | 17k | Fluff,  Alt!Canon

Moments of domesticity between Dean and Cas (and occasionally Sam) in the Men of Letters bunker. Essentially, this is a story about the boys building a home together.

NnoOoOooOoOooo this was so domestic and lovely!    

The One With Dean's Anal Beads by triedunture E | 1k | | Hot,  PWP, bottom!dean

Complete PWP: anal beads, multiple, dry/painful orgasms, & dirty talk.

Nnnghhhh    

Landing by ladyzanra T | 3k Angst,  Canon!verse

“You think in terms of days, Castiel, but there are no days in Heaven,” Hannah tells him, before he leaves. This, Castiel understands, is the reason she does not stop him.

Fuck everything I'm in PAIN.  

Simple As That by ashwinchester4 M | 2k | Canon!verse, First Kiss, First Time

Dean Winchester is not very good at doing things in the proper order. That includes his relationship with Castiel. After Cas becomes human, things begin to change slowly, simply, easily. Until everything is different.

Gorgeous. Simple as that.  

Let Your Grace Guide You by angel_kink E | 24k | Alt!canon, wing!Kink,

After Castiel heals Dean at Stull, the hunter finds himself with unexpected abilities. He becomes determined to use his newfound powers, with Castiel’s guidance, to rescue Sam from the cage. In order to ensure that their venture to Hell is successful, they are forced to team up with Crowley, who has his own agenda regarding what’s locked up in the pits of Hell. During the course of their alliance, secrets come out, feelings bubble to the surface, and Dean finds himself once again facing an impossibly dangerous situation in an effort to save his brother.    

Napoleon in Rags by linzeestyle E | 42k | Alt!canon, fallen!castiel

“So,” Dean says eventually, breath ruffling Castiel’s hair. “You gonna tell us about this place? “I don’t have to,” Castiel says, pushing himself up on his elbows. “If I’m right, it’s nearby. Near something called Tucson.” Dean looks at him incredulously and Castiel scowls. “I was hiding an invaluable relic, not purchasing real estate. There's no such thing as a hunter retirement plan.

Amazing!! Canon compliant from 8x17 and diverges from there :D    

Kryptonite in Shades of Blue and Green by Annehiggins E | 12k | Superhero AU

Dean is the only member of the Winchester family without super-powers and has lived with the threat of being used against him all his life. When Dark Angel finally makes threat reality, Dean ends up trapping them together for two months. A lot can happen in two months. Written for this prompt on the spnkink_meme. Technically Dubcon.    

Chasing Cars ❤ by ratherbehere E | 45k | Fluff,  College AU, Stripper!dean, demisexuality, Slow Burn

After an awkward accidental encounter at a local strip club, Castiel discovers his college roommate, Dean, has a secret career as a stripper, and their relationship begins to change and a bond begins to form. They face the joys and challenges of life together and discover along the way how deeply they've come to care for each other.

THIS WAS AMAZING! So much UST, Demisexual Cas, which is my favorite, and a long, slow burn romance where they are best friends primarily. Love it.    

A Weekend Project by narrativeimperative E | 16k | Lawyer AU, a/b/o, Omega!cas, alpha!dean,

Castiel Novak is a lawyer for an important firm. He’s also, to his chagrin, an omega. With the help of heat suppressants and some serious denial, it’s not a problem ... until he meets Dean Winchester. And then it’s very definitely a problem.

Literally the best.    

Viva by crowleyo E | 38k | AU, Stripper!Dean, doctor!cas, accidental marriagE |

Dr. Castiel Novak swears he will never let his sister talk him into a surprise trip again. Now he has just woken up in Las Vegas with a hangover, an unknown ring on his finger and a beautiful man next to him. It gets even better, though, when Castiel's last memory from the night before is seeing this man up on a stage in a skimpy cowboy outfit. Now, Castiel has to learn to live a cliche.  

Hush by Braceyourself & dresden E | 105k | College AU

He'd heard all he needed to know about Dr. Novak, really. Straight-laced academic, prioritizes punctuality, favours the smartest students; it doesn't bode well for Dean.

Wow, so great! Dommy!Cas, teacher/student AU. There is rape in it, but not between Cas and Dean.    

The Seraph by Hywar E | 135k | Creature AU, Dub!con, Dom!cas, Sub!dean

Ever since the seraph were discovered, there's been one rule society has had to adapt to: stay out of open water. Powerful, determined and aggressive, the octopus-human creatures are in a league of their own and have no qualms with taking what they want and attacking what they don't. Now, children learn to swim in man-made lakes and beaches are deserted save for researches and the fool-hearted. Dean Winchester is neither of those things. But a hunt has brought him and Sam, his brother, to one of the many abandoned beaches, where Dean is left with no choice but to take refuge in the water. He should be safe, he thinks, he doesn't go too deep - just deep enough to hide himself and to deter his pursuer. He forgot just how fast the damn things could be, and how determined they were once they had their eyes on something.

AMAZING. Love love love! Dominant!Cas who just wants to take care of his willful, human mate. Also tentacle sex. Be warned for dubious consent (because Cas is very convinced he's doing what Dean wants/needs but Dean is not so sure).    

Contact by clotpoleofthelord E | 16k | Alien AU, Tentacles

When aliens land on Earth the first time, Dean ignores it. When they land a second time, he's a little curious. When the third landing happens in his back yard, his life gets very complicated, very fast.

Taking Wing by riseofthefallenone E | 44k

Dean frowns around the cave, his head spinning as he tries to make sense of what he’s seeing with his eyes and his echoes. The smell doesn’t hit him until he’s already staggered to his feet, claws clicking on the stone floor. It’s the scent of another bat; different than any kind he’s smelled before. It’s not exactly unpleasant, but it does strike home a realization that turns his stomach inside out. This place belongs to another bat and Dean has pretty much just basically invaded their home.

This is adorable. I didnt know I could get so attached to two gay anthropomorphic bat people.   

Rain by The MigratoryLane E | 2k | | Hot,  Canon!verse, PWP

The fact that Dean Winchester was a strikingly handsome man had not eluded him. But the low burn of arousal that now flowed through his veins was entirely foreign not a month ago. Where as an angel the mere sight of Dean’s neck elicited no greater response, now Castiel found that he wanted nothing more than to trace his lips across the stubbled flesh beneath his jaw—to lick and kiss and suck at it until Dean moaned with the sensation.

CASTURBATION!!    

Cheers, Angel Eyes by wannaliveindeansdimples E | 20k | AU, bartender Dean, Cop Castiel

Dean Winchester is a bartender. He's noticed a new semi-regular and even given him a nickname. Pretty soon he and "Angel Eyes" become friends. Dean wants more, but is secretive, awkward Castiel ready to give it?

As the author's tags say, no matter the universe or circumstance they always find each other and act all schmoopy.    

A Little Slice of heaven by authocracy E | 5k | AU, bottom!cas, wing!Kink

Welcome to A Little Slice of Heaven, where angels stationed on Earth can come, relax, and enjoy themselves. Dance your cares away at our nightclub, or treat yourself to our world-class spa treatments with staff specially trained in the art of wing maintenance. Let our experts turn your stress into pure pleasure. The War is over, and Castiel finds himself bored and lonely in Heaven. He runs into Gabriel, who remembers him from the battlefield and offers to give him a tour of the best places on Earth. The archangel introduces him to his friend Dean, a masseur with magic hands. Castiel, a little self-conscious and shy, doesn't know what Dean means by "extra services" but is eager to spend extra time with him regardless.

Long Time Coming by authocracy E | 13k | Hot, genderswap au

For the prompt: Okay, so in my head, girl!Dean likes her anonymous hookups, likes her slutty biker look and her oversized flannel shirts and skinny jeans. Granted, she's getting a little old for the club scene, but she's always been more of a bar girl. And maybe Sam kind of despairs of her because he's all "RESPECT YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND DEAN(NA?)" but Dean's never really bought any of that - she likes feeling close to people, and it's hard to with her lifestyle. Plus, there's something powerful about being hot enough to attract as many guys as she does. Thing is, she's not that easy to get off. It takes her time and effort when she's on her own, let alone when there's some guy expecting things of her. And let's be real, a lot of guys in the kind of places she goes to don't really know how to get a girl off. Maybe she's never even come during sex with a guy. Enter Cas.

I love my genderswap fics, and this one is um... really hot.    

[wesleyhill]

Holy Tuesday: The Hope of the Resurrection

A homily on Mark 11:18-27, preached for the Cathedral Church of the Advent, Birmingham, Alabama, on Holy Tuesday 2020, Coronatide

I would speak to you in the name of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen.

Death is always in the headlines, in one form or another, but now, it seems, it is all that is in the headlines. Just before sitting down to write this sermon, I visited four or five prominent news outlets, more or less at random. The virus death toll was the leading story at all of them, and at one of the sites, virtually every headline on the main page was somehow about death and dying.

Of course, so many of you face your mortality courageously each day as you deal with various life-threatening conditions, but it seems we are all pondering death now in a way that I can’t remember doing before in my lifetime.

“In the midst of life we are in death,” says the Prayer Book.

Friends, the Christian hope in the face of so much death is the same as it has always been. And although we will not be gathering together on Easter Sunday to celebrate that hope together, we will still be celebrating. The Lord is risen from the dead, and because of that, we know that we will rise too. Death will not be the end of us. We will live again on the other side of death.

On Tuesday of Holy Week, after his demonstration in the temple, Jesus is approached by some religious leaders who don’t believe that. The Sadducees know that Jesus does believe in the resurrection, and, like candid-camera pranksters, they want to humiliate him in public by drawing him into a debate he can’t win. They want to expose how absurd it is for thoughtful, educated, politically savvy people to believe in a bodily life after death. And so they pose a scenario which, they think, will show the ridiculousness of it.

Suppose, they say to Jesus, that a husband dies, leaving his wife childless. The man’s brother then marries the widow, and he ends up dying too. This happens to five more of the man’s brothers. And then, after enduring the loss of seven husbands and still having no children, the woman herself dies. At that point, the Sadducees spring the trap: “In the resurrection whose wife will she be? For the seven had married her.”

They think they’ve stumped him. If Jesus says, “None of them,” then isn’t he in effect denying the doctrine of the bodily resurrection by cutting the link between this present bodily life and the next? If we aren’t raised as the same people we are now, then we won’t really be raised, will we? But, on the other hand, if Jesus says that she remains married to all of them, then he exposes the doctrine to ridicule: is everything that was true about our earthly lives somehow going to be reinstated in the resurrection? If so, that demonstrates how implausible and naïve the doctrine of the resurrection really is.

But Jesus evades the trap by denying the key assumption the Sadducees make and seem to think that Jesus must share with them. The Sadducees think that resurrection means taking up our old bodily life just as before, hence the reason why they cannot imagine believing in the resurrection. But according to Jesus, the resurrection means a transformation of our present bodily existence. The apostle Paul would later compare our present bodies to a seed awaiting its transformation into a great tree: “What is sown is perishable, what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body” (1 Cor. 15:44, NRSV alt.). That is what Jesus too indicates when he says that in the resurrection, people “neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven”: in other words, trying to extrapolate from our present life to what our risen life will be like is not at all straightforward. We believe that we will still be ourselves — Jesus still had the nail scars in his resurrected body — but also “what we will be has not yet been revealed” (1 John 3:2).

I’ve always loved C. S. Lewis’s humorous way of trying to explain the disconnect between our present, limited perspective on the resurrection and what it will actually be like. In his book Miracles, he writes: “I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer ‘No,’ he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it. We are in the same position. We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it. Hence where fullness awaits us we anticipate fasting.”

We are awaiting a future transformation of our bodies that will represent, as Lewis says, a “fullness,” a satisfaction of our truest longings, that will eclipse the timebound longings whose satisfaction we spend so much of our life chasing.

But after having made that point, Jesus turns to the real issue at hand. Why should he believe there is new bodily life after death? His answer has to do with who God is: “[H]ave you not read in the book of Moses, in the story about the bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is God not of the dead, but of the living.”

Readers of Mark’s Gospel have often wondered why Jesus doesn’t quote a clearer prooftext for the doctrine of the resurrection of the dead. For instance, he could have quoted these words from the prophet Isaiah: “Your dead shall live, their corpses shall rise. O dwellers in the dust, awake and sing for joy!” Instead Jesus quotes a passage that isn’t so much about the future resurrection but about the new life that the dead have with God even now.

Thinking about the relationship between time and eternity is a guaranteed way to get a headache — fast. But Jesus here seems to point us in that direction, not simply to who God will be for his people in the future but to who God is now. He insists that God is presently the God of the dead — who are at this moment alive to God because of the hope of the resurrection. God, Jesus says, will one day raise his people. More than that, God has made the dead to live already. Those who have died “have not been lost but are hidden from the living by the thinnest and most permeable of membranes” (Joel Marcus).

“In the midst of life we are in death,” says the Prayer Book. Yes, and also: In the midst of death we have the hope of eternal life because God is not the God of the dead but of the living. And God will prove it in five days’ time.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “Double-O-Duck in You Only Crash Twice!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Christian Magalhaes

Storyboard by: Sam King, Kathryn Marusik, Rachel Paek, Stephan Park

Directed by: Jason Zurek

"My name is Pad. Launchpad. McQuack. My name is Launchpad McQuack."

The episode seemingly begins in medias res, as Launchpad is infiltrating a casino. He has on some spy glasses, as he has become Double-O-Duck, super spy. He gets a call from Dew-ble-O-Duck, because Dewey Duck cannot even function if he doesn't choose an alias without the word "dew" in it, letting him know the secret code he needs to tell Enemy Agent Red Feather.

Dew-ble-O-Duck: Pastrami on rye, hold the mustard!

Double-O-Duck: Mmmm, yummy!

We can tell already that Launchpad is more Maxwell Smart than James Bond. Would anyone be surprised if he wasn’t?

As Dew-ble-O-Duck, also wearing cool glasses, distracts everyone in the room with a song fitting for this James Bond parody, Launchpad, even with his lack of any kind of intellect, manages to spot Agent Red Feather. She literally has red feathers. Unfortunately, he didn't exactly remember what tasty item he was supposed to use as a secret code.

Red Feather: Can I help you?

Launchpad: Ham and cheese!

Alas, Enemy Agent Red Feather is not exactly a fan of that smart refrigerator scene from Duncanville. She gasses Double-O-Duck before Launchpad could suggest chocolate pudding or french fries, giving a one-liner about how the kitchen is closed. It's like one of those Sierra adventure games, though they end up referencing something more modern.

YOU DIED

Yes, like Dark Souls, though they use a generic retro game losing a life sound. Even when shows involve video games with cutting edge technology, parents might not get that it's a video game if it isn't bleep bloop bleep bloop.

The entire last scene was just a new and sophisticated augmented reality game at Funso's Fun Zone: Double-O-Duck, a reference to a DuckTales '87 episode where Launchpad had to impersonate a super spy that happened to look just like him. It's a neat reference; the game even features OddDuck, the villain of the week of that episode, as an enemy.

Webby and Scrooge are at Funso's as well, though Scrooge does not appear to be interested in anything around him, never mind a room with a fake adventure in it. In an attempt to borrow money from Scrooge, Dewey tries to convince him that the game is cool, because one could use the power of virtual reality to go on an amazing adventure.

Scrooge's expression says it all; he doesn't even need to say anything to that.

Needless to say, Dewey only has one more chance to beat that Casino Royale, as that chance will be the last his allowance could afford. He also knows that he can only play this with Launchpad, because "they're a team"! Launchpad reluctantly agrees, using the famous last words of anyone before something goes terribly wrong: "what could possibly go wrong?" We then zoom into the ball pit, where we find a hidden base owned by F.O.W.L.

Yes, this is the beginning of this season's F.O.W.L. plotline that was teased at the end of Season 2. DuckTales 2017's version of Darkwing Duck's rogues' gallery is led by Bradford Buzzard, originally of Scrooge's Board of Directors before he decided to call it quits after Louie used their funding to bring back his favorite TV show. It's a long and, to be honest, kind of eh story. Now, he leads many of the villains that appeared in previous episodes, and he has made a new base.

Alongside the also named after her feather color Black Heron is Steelbeak, who comments that he wanted the base built on a sattel-lighthouse to nobody's approval. This continues the trend of James Bond references, as he is the Jaws parody from Darkwing Duck. Steelbeak is not exactly the brightest bulb at F.O.W.L., but he is completely confident and gets really offended at the accusation that he is stupid. From what I've heard, he wasn't meant to be any denser than the other villains in the original Darkwing Duck, but for the sake of giving Launchpad an evil counterpart, it works well with this plot.

Black Heron is taking the Gyro Gearloose role here, as she is working on the Intelliray, powered by a diamond from the F.O.W.L. archives. With a little more work, this ray can be used to make Scrooge dumber than the dummies! Honestly one doesn't even need any kind of ray for that to happen; seems like all you need to do is steal a couple coins from him for that.

How would she know this ray even works? Simple, she used it on a lab rat.

Not just any lab rat, either, but they turn this ordinary rat into this rather intelligent rodent that is more anthropomorphic. In fact, one may recognize this rodent from a different show from the Disney Afternoon. There's a funny story about this, actually.

Of course, this is the opposite effect of what Black Heron wanted, and she needs to work on the ray some more to make the Intelliray that makes dumb rats smart make smart ducks dumb. Steelbeak doesn't seem to get any of this, and is way more focused on how that rat managed to make clothing for herself. That's actually not a bad question, though not one relevant to the situation. There's a lot of interactions with the bright heron and the not-too-bright rooster, and it builds throughout the episode.

In order for any of those evil plans to happen, they need to get Scrooge and his family out of Funso's. It doesn't seem like it really matters, as nobody, not even the adventurer of adventurers, suspects that this place they're under is suspicious, but that was the Buzzard's orders. Bradford Buzzard may not be a bright bulb either; in the very first episode, he wanted to turn off the magical barrier that kept the Bombie from continuing his unending journey to kill his boss...actually, that makes a lot of sense now. Black Heron orders Steelbeak to get the Scrooge family out without Scrooge getting suspicious about this new conspiracy against him.

That won't be too difficult, as Scrooge has different plans than trying to figure out if there's a conspiracy against him. There's a B plot about Scrooge getting convinced to go into the arcade section and getting addicted to Skee-Ball. Webby even calls it Skee-Ball, which is a trademarked term for the rolling ball game, even though the game itself calls it "Prospector Pete's Goldrush Bonanza!" They could have avoided any trademark issues, but they went with the brand name anyway. Well, if Disney could pay for DJ Khaled, anything is possible.

Again, this is a B-plot where there isn't that much to it, though I can't say I wasn't entertained by Scrooge taking this Gold Rush as an adventure and treating the tickets it spits out as actual gold. There is also a point to this: he becomes so addicted, that, say, if a kid and a bumbling idiot get kidnapped by a group with a vast conspiracy against Clan McDuck, he wouldn't know because his quest for tickets is the only thing on his mind.

Totally not speaking of which, Dewey and Launchpad play their last game of Double-O-Duck, and they do manage to get past the "secret code" part by the way of Dewey taking over for him. They get to the "win the card game" part, except the usual opponent has been replaced by some special boss. At least, that's what they assume. He's also wearing the glasses, but neither of them take that as a clue that this person may be a not-so-fellow player.

They have to play a game of baccarat chemin de fer, and Launchpad pretends to know what any of those words mean. The good news for him is that it was gibberish to Steelbeak, too. as both of them end up just saying random card terms while slamming the cards down, convincing each other that they got the upper hand. This all ends up leading to Steelbeak changing the game to 52 Teeth Pickup. That, of course, means a fight scene.

During this fight scene, we get a shot of what is happening in the real world, where we see the carnage this unscripted fight scene is causing. Why are there little kids in the middle of the AR room, clearly not playing the game judging by their lack of glasses? We see a little bit of this earlier, too, where Dewey takes off his glasses to reveal that one of the characters was just the Funso's mascot standing in the middle of the room. There is at least one enemy to fight in the game even if it was played as intended; I can imagine someone accidentally walloping a real person while fighting the fake one. Maybe I shouldn't think about this too hard.

If I were to nitpick some more, one of the hits randomly has a hit flash, even though there's none in the other punches. There was nothing different about that hit; I could understand using a hit flash if Steelbeak actually hit someone with his namesake, but it was just another punch. Was the censors just not happy with that particular one, but the other punches were okay?

The fight does go outside the AR room, leading them to the restaurant area where confused onlookers are looking at these weird glasses-wearing people fight as if they were special agents. I do like this shot where we see Steelbeak punch Dew-ble-O-Duck and Double-O-Duck out of a window in the AR world, and then it cuts to the real world, where the pool this lead to was actually the ball pit. The same ball pit they zoomed into to reveal the new F.O.W.L. Lair, in fact!

When Double-O-Duck and Dew...alright, I'm getting tired of calling them that already even if that's the roles they were given. When Launchpad and Dewey wake up, they're locked in a glass cell. That could mean only one thing: they finally beat the casino level! This leads to an interesting dynamic: they think they're still in a video game, despite being in the very real F.O.W.L. lair. This is good for the plot, as we'll soon see.

Meanwhile, we see that Black Heron managed to get the ray to work as it should, making the minions so dumb, they think a generic puzzle cube, they didn't want to tread on Mr. Rubik's toes even if Bay Tek was fine, is food. I mention this because it's a running gag.

Back to the cells, we see that all the other smartened up lab animals, including that rat from before, another much larger rat, a housefly, and two chipmunks, decide to help this large duck out of this situation. Alright, I'll drop the act: these are the Rescue Rangers. They're not named, but they're the Rescue Rangers; they're even constantly followed by an instrumental of their theme song.

There is an interesting behind-the-scenes story here: alongside the mascot of the biggest entertainment corporation in the world, the Rescue Rangers were supposed to be off-limits to DuckTales 2017 for various reasons. They were originally just going to have the small Gadget reference, referring to her only as "the intelligent rodent", but they kept building and building it to the point where the rest of the Rescue Rangers made it in, too. Once the executives caught on to the scheme, they decided to just allow it.

What possibly helps this is that we never focus on them. For starters, we never get to hear them talk. The audience always sees their scenes from the duck's point of view, and, in the rules of the Rescue Rangers, humans, or ducks in this case, can't communicate with rodents even if they are smart. This is not to say they never do anything major in the plot; it's thanks to them that that all important "cell release" button was pushed, freeing Launchpad and Dewey and getting them to "the next level". Dewey does seem to think that Launchpad came up with the solution to teach a mouse to fly a plane, and Launchpad just goes with it. It may not be out of malice, it's probably just because he's Launchpad.

That next level? Find the secret weapon!

Those wielders of the secret weapon are not exactly in good terms with each other at this point. Black Heron isn't too happy that Steelbeak interpreted getting rid of Scrooge's family is to get two of his family members and lock them up right in F.O.W.L.'s headquarters. This is because Black Heron knows that this is a perfect way to lead Scrooge McDuck right to them, as Scrooge would eventually figure out they're missing and figure out exactly where they went. She is that genre savvy.

Not savvy to anything is Steelbeak, and after Black Heron decides to insult him again and again for his mistake, he finally has enough and snatches the Intelliray right out of her hands, and shoots her with it. That takes out Black Heron out of the whole episode, actually, as the most that happens with her after this is that, when Dewey and Launchpad get to the room she's in, Dewey rightfully assumes the bad guy who is trying to figure out how her robot arm works is way too easy for the mission right after the moon logic puzzle of teaching rats to fly planes. How unbalanced!

Enter Steelbeak and his army of generic puzzle cube-gnawers, armed with the Intelliray and a bunch of one-liners that Dewey wants him to skip. I debated with myself on whether or not him not saying "where's the 'skip dialogue' button" was a missed opportunity or not. Another small fight happens, this time with no random hit flashes. With one hit, Steelbeak drops the Intelliray to the ground.

He then picks it up and attempts to shoot Dewey with it, Launchpad getting in the way with the classic "take the bullet for him" trope. Dewey does the "big no" trope, only to tell him that this must have been his last life. Wait, there were no lives before, the video game seemed to be "you died, game over" in the first scene. Dewey can't be consistent with what video game he was playing!

But wait, if all hope is lost, why is the ray blue? Well, it appears that Steelbeak forgot to check if that gun was set to "make smart rat dumb", or "make dumb rat braindead" in this case. Instead, we get a James Bond reference I actually recognize.

(special thanks to martosi231234 for this GIF)

Okay, maybe I should have made this a GIF; they totally do the James Bond intro parody here, complete with a maybe too obvious parody of the "dah dah" part of the James Bond theme. No shooting the screen, though; TV-Y7 does have its limits.

Inner Double-O-Duck: I'll take it from here, chum.

This inner Double-O-Duck shows up a couple times, mostly acting as his new intelligent guardian angel. Dressing up as one of the minions, thanks to knocking one out earlier, he sneaks into a large computer room and deals with the minions by telling them to go to Sector 13. They don't know what that means, but with his newfound intellect, Launchpad persuades them to go there anyway.

It's here where Launchpad finds out everything about the newly revived Fiendish Organization for World Larceny's conspiracy against Mr. McD. It's also here that he finds out that Steelbeak kidnapped poor Dewford, trapping him with rope and boating him across town. Since Dewey isn't a superhero, there's no way he can just get out of the rope. Well, maybe not every superhero can get out of the rope. Oh, and yes, Intelligent Launchpad always calls Dewey Dewford, but Scrooge is still Mr. McD. That nickname is that ingrained in him.

Most importantly, he finds out he's no longer in a video game...actually, I am not sure when that was supposed to happen. We know it does happen because it comes up later in the episode. A little before this point, I was almost expecting a rather disappointing ending where it was revealed this whole episode was just the video game, but this scene proves that can't happen because the game wouldn't known about the F.O.W.L. plan.

The boat chase is on. While the new far-more-intelligent Double-O-Duck chases the bad guy, he also tries to call Mr. McD and tell him all about what he learned, potentially progressing the plot arc much too early.

Unfortunately for Launchpad and indirectly himself, Scrooge is busy counting the tickets. I can imagine not wanting to trust the ticket counters. He also questions why he can't just keep the tickets and presumably have a giant ticket bin to swim in, and Webby convinces him that the tickets expire at the end of the day. The cashier attempts to explain that isn't the case, and Webby holds up a pizza tray and shushes him. There's some really good expressions in this episode.

After Launchpad tries to let Dewey know this isn't a game, to no avail due to the loud boats, and a pretty action packed chase scene where, fitting for Launchpad, he crashes his boat and, not so fitting for the usual Launchpad, makes a makeshift water skii out of two of the boat's boards and a grappling hook, unfortunately failing to get to him, Steelbeak makes it to his destination: the sattel-lighthouse. See, everything is connected; he even got to go to his dream lair!

This reveals his ultimate plan: turning the sattel-lighthouse into a giant Intelliray, and this time, he did know to check the dial to make all of the rats and other animals in Duckberg as dumb as he is. Launchpad tries to convince Steelbeak to reconsider this plan, as this would make Duckburg so dumb that they would forget to breathe, but...

Steelbeak: That fancy speak won't work on me, Dummie-O-Duck! Hah, classic.

He makes his own fistbump jokes, he's a villain I'd love to hate. How does he get out of this situation? Well, I'll give a giant hint on that: after Launchpad gets saved, he says this.

Launchpad: Thanks for the...

(3 seconds later)

...rescue.

They might as well have put it in giant text, put fireworks around it, and have a choir sing the word "rescue". Good thing this isn't a Cartoon Network reboot. As forced as that scene was, it's still an amazing scene.

I will spoil this, though: before that previous scene happened, he did manage to activate the Intellisatellite, and it's almost about to fire. Anyone could guess that Launchpad's newfound intellect is not going to survive past this episode, and him getting in the way of a giant endumbening laser is the way to do it. And yes, I know endumbening is not a word, but I bet Steelbeak didn't know that. As the song from the first scene plays again, this time showing that it had way more meaning than it did before, Launchpad questions if this is the way to go.

Launchpad: But I can't sacrifice my intelligence! There's so much more I can accomplish! Stop the evil conspiracy out to get us! Solve world hunger! Land a plane!

Oh, his intellect is definitely not going to survive. Also, there's a more personal reason for his questioning, and it was a theme throughout the episode: Launchpad wants Dewey to see him as a competent person to look up to, and, unlike Steelbeak, he usually doesn't have the confidence that this newfound intellect gave him. This makes this a rather heartfelt scene.

Somehow, they get back to the arcade with Dewey still thinking this was the game. There is no explanation for this whatsoever, and even Launchpad questions if it was a game...wait, is this actually that "it was all a game" ending I didn't want? What happened? Why are they here now? How are they here now? What happened to Black Heron? Eh, maybe I should take Dewey's words, from a previous scene, into account.

Dewey: Why are you overthinking this?!

I will say Dewey believing this was all a video game does at least give us a high stakes F.O.W.L. plot without advancing the arc too far this early in the season. Not even Launchpad could do that, as, in the end, Launchpad is back to his old self. He completely forgot about everything he saw, so he couldn't warn Mr. McD about all the misfortune that's going to happen. I will say that I am glad to see that there is a slight hint that the events of this episode did happen, as they do return to that puzzle cube running gag. A running gag that, while not having a real payoff, does have a point to it, how wonderful!

Oh, and as for Scrooge McDuck, with all of those tickets...he only managed to get a very, very small prize. Pretty accurate to the world of redemption games, I'm afraid to say. Don't want to anger that certain powerful rat.

How does it stack up?

The AR glasses do lead to some plot holes, and a lot of the episode relies on references, but none of that ruins the episode. Even the vague ending works in the episode's favor. Hell, maybe it will be explained in the future; this is the kind of show where I can expect that. Maybe not.

With great spy action, some great one-liners, a good villain, and some fantastic cameos from a fellow Disney Afternoon staple, this is another fantastic episode.

Next, suspicious mermaids!

← Quack Pack! 🦆 The Lost Harp of Mervana! →

[innuendostudios]

Research Masterpost

This is my research list for The Alt-Right Playbook. It is a living document - I am typically adding sources faster than I am finishing the ones already on it. Notes and links below the list. Also, please note this does not include the hundreds of articles and essays I’ve read that also inform the videos - this is books, reports, and a few documentaries.

Legend: Titles in bold -> finished Titles in italics -> partially finished *** -> livetweeted as part of #IanLivetweetsHisResearch (asterisks will be a link) The book I am currently reading will be marked as such.

Media Manipulation & Disinformation Online, by Alice Marwick and Rebecca Lewis Alternative Influence, by Rebecca Lewis The Authoritarians, by Bob Altemeyer*** Eclipse of Reason, by Max Horkheimer Civility in the Digital Age, by Andrea Weckerle The Origins of Totalitarianism, by Hannah Arendt On Revolution, by Hannah Arendt Don’t Think of an Elephant, by George Lakoff The Shock Doctrine, by Naomi Klein How Propaganda Works, by Jason Stanley*** This is an Uprising, by Mark and Paul Engler Neoreaction a Basilisk, by Elizabeth Sandifer This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get You Killed, by Charles E. Cobb, Jr. Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me), by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson Healing from Hate, by Michael Kimmel The Brainwashing of my Dad, doc by Jen Senko On Bullshit, by Harry Frankfurt The Reactionary Mind, by Corey Robin*** Stamped from the Beginning, Ibram X. Kendi Fascism Today, by Shane Burley Indoctrination over Objectivity?, by Marrissa S. Ballard Ur-Fascism, by Umberto Eco Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson Anti-Semite and Jew, by Jean-Paul Sartre Alt-America, by David Neiwert*** The Dictator’s Handbook, by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita & Alastair Smith Terror, Love, and Brainwashing, by Alexandra Stein Kaputt, by Curzio Malaparte The Anatomy of Fascism, by Robert O. Paxton Neoliberalism and the Far Right, by Neil Davidson and Richard Saull Trolls Just Want to Have Fun, by Erin E. Buckels, et al The Entrepreneurial State, by Mariana Mazzucato

Media Manipulation & Disinformation Online, by Alice Marwick and Rebecca Lewis (free: link) A monstrously useful report from Data & Society which- coupled with Samuel R. Delany’s memoir The Motion of Light in Water - formed the backbone of the Mainstreaming video. I barely scratched the surface of how many techniques the Far Right uses to inflate their power and influence. If you feel lost in a sea of Al-Right bullshit, this will at least help you understand how things got the way they are, and maybe help you discern truth from twaddle.

The Authoritarians, by Bob Altemeyer (free: link) (livetweets) A free book full of research from Bob Altemeyer’s decades of study into authoritarianism. Altemeyer writes conversationally, even jovially, peppering what could have been a dense and dry work with dad jokes. I wouldn’t say he’s funny (most dads aren’t), but it makes the book blessedly accessible. If you ever wanted a ton of data demonstrating that authoritarianism is deeply correlated with conservatism, this is the book. One of the most useful resources I’ve consumed so far, heavily influencing the entire series but most directly the video on White Fascism. Even has some suggestions for how to actually change the mind of a reactionary, which is kind of the Holy Grail of LeftTube.

(caveats: there is a point in the book where Altemeyer throws a little shade on George Lakoff, and I feel he slightly - though not egregiously - misrepresents Lakoff’s arguments)

Don’t Think of an Elephant, by George Lakoff An extremely useful book about framing. Delves into the differences between the American Right and Left when it comes to messaging, how liberal politicians tend to have degrees in things like Political Science and Rhetoric, where conservatives far more often have degrees in Marketing. This leads to two different cultures, where liberals have Enlightenment-style beliefs that all  you need is good ideas and conservatives know an idea will only be popular if you know how to sell it. He gets into the nuts and bolts of how to keep control of a narrative, because the truth is only effective if the audience recognizes it as such. Kind of staggering how many Democrats swear by this book while blatantly taking none of its advice. Lakoff has been all over the series since the first proper video.

(caveats: several. Lakoff seemingly believes the main difference between the Right and Left is in our default frames, and that swaying conservatives amounts to little more than finding better ways to make the same arguments. he deeply underestimates the ideological divide between Parties, and some of his advice reads as tips for making debates more pleasant but no more productive. he also makes a passing comparison between conservatism and Islam that means well but is a gross and kinda racist false equivalence)

How Propaganda Works, by Jason Stanley (livetweets) A slog. Many useful concepts, and directly referenced in the White Fascism video. But could have said everything it needed to say in half as many pages. Stanley seems dedicated to framing everything in epistemological terms, not appealing to morality or sentiment, which means huge sections of the book are given over to “proving” democracy is a good thing using only philosophical concepts, when “democracy good” is probably something his readership already accepts. Also has a frustrating tendency to begin every paragraph with a brief summary of the previous paragraph. When he actually talks about, you know, how propaganda works, it’s very useful, and I don’t regret reading it. But I don’t entirely recommend it. Seems written for an imagined PhD review board. Might be better off reading my livetweets.

Neoreaction a Basilisk, by Elizabeth Sandier A trip. Similar to Jason Stanley, Sandifer is dedicated to “disproving” a number of Far Right ideologies - from transphobia to libertarianism to The Singularity - in purely philosophical terms. The difference is, she’s having fun with it. I won’t pretend the title essay - a 140-page mammoth - didn’t lose me several times, and someone had to remind which of its many threads was the thesis. And some stretches are dense, academic writing punctuated with vulgarity and (actually quite clever) jokes, which doesn’t always average out to the playfully heady tone she’s going for. But, still, frequently brilliant and never less than interesting. There is something genuinely cathartic about a book that begins with the premise that we all fear but won’t let ourselves meaningfully consider - that we will lose the fight with the Right and climate change is going to kill us all - and talks about what we can do in that event. I felt I didn’t even have to agree with the premise to feel strangely empowered by it. Informed the White Fascism video’s comments on transphobia as the next frontier of bigotry since failing to prevent marriage equality.

On Bullshit, by Harry Frankfurt Was surprised to find this isn’t properly a book, just a printed essay. Highly relevant passage that helped form my description of 4chan in The Card Says Moops: “What tends to go on in a bull session is that the participants try out various thoughts and attitudes in order to see how it feels to hear themselves saying such things and in order to discover how others respond, without its being assumed that they are committed to what they say: it is understood by everyone in a bull session that the statements people make do not necessarily reveal what they really believe or how they really feel. The main point is to make possible a high level of candor and an experimental or adventuresome approach to the subjects under discussion. Therefore provision is made for enjoying a certain irresponsibility, so that people will be encouraged to convey what is on their minds without too much anxiety that they will be held to it. [paragraph break] Each of the contributors to a bull session relies, in other words, upon a general recognition that what he expresses or says is not to be understood as being what he means wholeheartedly or believes unequivocally to be true. The purpose of the conversation is not to communicate beliefs.”

The Reactionary Mind, by Corey Robin (livetweets) Another freakishly useful book, and the basis for Always a Bigger Fish and The Origins of Conservatism. Jumping into the history of conservative thought, going all the way back to Thomas Hobbes, to stress that conservatism is, and always has been, about preserving social hierarchies and defending the powerful. Robin dissects thinkers who heavily influenced conservatism, from Edmund Burke and Friedrich Nietzsche to Carl Menger and Ayn Rand, and finally concluding with Trump himself. There’s a lot of insight into how the conservative mind works, though precious little comment on what we can do about it, which somewhat robs the book of a conclusion. Still, the way it bounces off of Don’t Think of an Elephant and The Authoritarians really brings the Right into focus.

Fascism Today, by Shane Burley Yet another influence on the White Fascism video. Bit of a mixed bag. The opening gives a proper definition of fascism, which is extremely useful. Then the main stretch delves into the landscape of modern fascism, from Alt-Right to Alt-Lite to neofolk pagans to the Proud Boys and on and on. Sometimes feels overly comprehensive, but insights abound on the intersections of all these belief systems (Burley pointing out that the Alt-Right is, in essence, the gentrification of working-class white nationalists like neo-Nazi skinheads and the KKK was a real eye-opener). But the full title is Fascism Today: What it is and How to End it, and it feels lacking in the second part. Final stretch mostly lists a bunch of efforts to address fascism that already exist, how they’ve historically been effective, and suggestions for getting involved. Precious few new ideas there. And maybe the truth is that we already have all the tools we need to fight fascism and we simply need to employ them, and being told so is just narratively unsatisfying. Or maybe it’s a structural problem with the book, that it doesn’t reveal a core to fascism the way Altemeyer reveals a core to authoritarianism and Robin reveals a core to conservatism, so I don’t come away feeling like I get fascism well enough to fight it. But, also, Burley makes it clear that modern fascism is a rapidly evolving virus, and being told that old ways are still the best ways isn’t very satisfying. If antifascism isn’t evolving at least as rapidly, it doesn’t seem like we’re going to win.

(caveats: myriad. for one, Burley repeatedly quotes Angela Nagle’s Kill All Normies, which does not inspire confidence. he also talks about “doxxing fascists” as a viable strategy without going into the differences between “linking a name to a face at a public event” and “hacking someone’s email to publicly reveal their bank information,” where the former is the strategy that fights fascism and the latter is vigilantism that is practiced widely on the Right and only by the worst actors on the Left. finally, the one section where Burley discusses an area I had already thoroughly researched was GamerGate, and he got quite a few facts wrong, which makes me question how accurate all the parts I hadn’t researched were. I don’t want to drive anyone away from the book, because it was still quite useful, but I recommend reading it only in concert with a lot of other sources so you don’t get a skewed perspective.)

Healing from Hate, by Michael Kimmel (Michael Kimmel, it turns out, is a scumbag. This book’s main thesis is that we need to look at violent extremism through the lens of toxic masculinity, so Kimmel’s toxic history with women is massively disappointing. Book itself is, in many ways, good, but, you know, retweets are not endorsement.)

A 4-part examination of how men get into violent extremism through the lens of the organizations that help them get out: EXIT in Germany and Sweden, Life After Hate in the US, and The Quilliam Foundation in Europe and North America. Emphasizing that entry into white nationalism - and, to an extent, jihadism - is less ideological than social. Young men enter these movements out of a need for community, purpose, and a place to put their anger. They feel displaced and mistreated by society - and often, very tangibly, are - and extremism offers a way to prove their manhood. Feelings of emasculation is a major theme. The actual politics of extremism are adopted gradually. They are, in a sense, the price of admission for the community and the sense of purpose. The most successful exit strategies are those that address these feelings of loneliness and emasculation and build social networks outside the movement, and not ones that address ideology first - the ideology tends to wither with the change in environment. The book itself can be a bit repetitive, but these observations are very enlightening.

(caveats: the final chapter on militant Islam is deeply flawed. Kimmel clearly didn’t get as much access to Qulliam as he had to EXIT and Life After Hate, so his data is based far less on direct interviews with counselors and former extremists and much more on other people’s research. despite the chapter stressing that a major source of Muslim alienation is racism, Kimmel focuses uncomfortably much on white voices - the majority of researchers he quotes are white Westerners, and the few interviews he manages are mostly with white converts to Islam rather than Arabs or South Asians. all in all, the research feels thinner, and his claims about militant Islam seem much more conjectural when they don’t read as echos of other people’s opinions.)

Terror, Love and Brainwashing, by Alexandra Stein A look at totalitarian governments and cults through the lens of attachment theory. While not explicitly about the Far Right, it’s interesting to see the overlap between this and Healing from Hate. Stein stresses that the control dynamics she discusses are not exclusive to cults, and are, in fact, the same ones as in abusive relationships; cults are just the most extreme version. So you can see many similar dynamics in Far Right organizations, like the Aryan Nations or the Proud Boys. It’s made me curious how many of these dynamics are in play in the distributed, less controlled environment of online extremism, and makes me want to look further into the subject before drawing conclusions.

(caveats: book is, as with How Propaganda Works, sometimes a slog and rather repetitive. I clocked a 4-page stretch in chapter 8 where Stein did not say a single thing that hadn’t been said multiple times in previous chapters. also, when talking about people coerced into highly-controlled lifestyles, she offhandedly includes “prostitutes” among them? it’s that liberal conflation of sex work and trafficking which is really not cool. this isn’t a major point, just something to notice while you read it.)

Alt-America, by David Neiwert (livetweets) A look at the actual formation of the Alt-Right, and the history that led up to it: the Militia and Patriot movements of the 90′s, the Tea Party, the rise of Alex Jones and Glenn Beck, and so on. Having been steeped in the rhetoric and tactics of the Far Right for so long, someone doing the work of sitting down and putting it all in chronological order is immensely helpful. Generally clear and well-written, too, and would be an easy read if not for how goddamn depressing the content is. Has an unfortunate final 7 pages, where Neiwert starts recommending actual policy. Falls into the usual “have empathetic conversations with genuine conservatives to turn them against the fascist wing taking over their party,” not recognizing the ways in which conservatism is continuous with fascism, nor the ways that trying to appeal to moderate conservatives alienates the people whose rights they deny. Means an extremely valuable book leaves a bad taste in the final stretch, but everything up to then is aces.

[visual-novel-techie]

Ikemen Vampire Audio Assets Extraction Tutorial [iOS+MacOS]

This tutorial assumes that you are playing the iOS version of the game (either the English version or the Japanese version will do) and that you have a Mac computer. Windows people feel free to check out vgmstream.

By the end of this tutorial, you will be able to listen to the BGMs, Sound Effects, and most importantly some voice snippets (homescreen, login, and prelude/common route ones) on a Mac computer. Take a sneak peek at one of the audio files ripped from the game. Can you tell who's speaking? XD

Tools and Software (Free & Open-Source ;)

Apple Configurator 2 from the Mac App Store

Cog if you want to directly play the encrypted audio files

QuickBMS if you want to decrypt the files to .wav yourself

FastHCADecoder if you want to decrypt the files to .wav yourself

Getting the App as an IPA file from the iOS App Store

On a Mac, download Apple Configurator 2 from the App Store.

Connect the iPhone/iPad to the Mac with an USB cable.

Locate the device in Apple Configurator.

Make sure your device has the IkeVamp app downloaded.

In Apple Configurator, tap the green Add button and re-download IkeVamp. Apple Configurator will download the app to the Mac and attempt to reinstall it to your phone.

Wait for the download to complete. When a window pops up telling you that the app already exists on your mobile device and asks whether to overwrite the data, go to the next step without responding Yes or No to the pop-up.

Open the Terminal app, paste in the command below, and hit return:

open ~/Library/Group\ Containers/K36BKF7T3D.group.com.apple.configurator/Library/Caches/Assets/TemporaryItems/MobileApps/

This should open up a folder. Copy the .ipa file to somewhere like your Desktop.

Change the file extension from .ipa to .zip. Don’t worry about Finder’s warning.

Double-click on the ZIP file to unzip it. Open the unzipped folder. Now we have the app package contents to work with!

Accessing the package contents

Open the folder called Payload. You should see an app icon and a sign that tells you that your Mac cannot run this app. (Only your phone can.)

Ctrl-click and then select Show Package Content. Then open the folders in sequence: Data > Raw > Sounds.

There are a bunch of .awb and .acb files in them, and they have pretty descriptive names like BUILDIN_VOICE.awb.

To play the .awb file, download Cog, a Mac app for playing encrypted video game soundtracks.

Drag and drop all the .awb and .acb files into Cog.

Decoding the files to WAV

We'll be using the Terminal a lot in this part. Our file workflow will be .cpk > .acb > .hca > .wav.

Download QuickBMS and unzip the file.

Download FastHCADecoder and unzip the file.

Save this file as cpk.bms.

Save this file as acb.bms.

Again with Show Package Content, go to the folder Data > Raw > BuildInResources > Tutorial. Observe that there are a couple of files with “Voice” in their names, like PackageVoiceStory. As an example, let's grab the data.cpk file inside PackageVoiceStory > 1.

Place all the files onto your Desktop.

Also make an empty folder called output on your Desktop.

Open the Terminal, copy, paste, and run the following commands in order: (If you are not familiar with the command line, cd stands for change directory.)

cd ~/Desktop/ cd FastHCADecoder-master/ make cd .. ./quickbms_macosx/quickbms cpk.bms data.cpk ./quickbms_macosx/quickbms acb.bms VOICE_STORY.acb output/ ./FastHCADecoder-master/clHCA output/*.hca

What your Desktop should look like at step 7:

What your terminal should look like as you run the commands:

Some intermediate logs printed on the screen that you might see:

g++ -o clHCA -Ofast -pthread -std=c++11 -g -w *.cpp ... offset filesize filename -------------------------------------- 00001000 3425248 VOICE_STORY.acb ... 0031bfe0 75168 9014.hca 0032e580 88428 9102.hca - 50 files found in 0 seconds ... Writing to output/9102.wav...

Now we have all the WAV files in the output folder ;) I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it XD

Some additional technical details

Apple Configurator places apps downloaded but not yet installed/deleted in a “temporary” folder. Therefore, once you respond to the pop-up about overwriting the app on your phone, Apple Configurator will delete that folder along with the app files.

The .awb file contains the actual audio file and the .acb file contains the key to decrypt the .awb file with the same name.

The key consists of two 8-hex-digit encryption keys. Fortunately, smart people on the Internet have already figuared out the two longer keys, 00A06A0B 8D0C10FD.

Disclaimer: This is for personal use only. Cybird owns all the assets.

[perplexedtechnician]

[1] Hey Tumblr, we gotta talk.

...

...

...

Oh shit yeah, why do we have to talk?

Because I just read two books (essentially back to back) that I need to express so much about.

    Okay, so this is the Nemesis series... which I essentially just call Dreadnought.

[Warning: This post contains spoilers, lots of feeling sharing, talk of abuse, and rambling]

ANYWAY.

      This is the story of Danielle Tozer, a transgirl who just really wants to live her life. The issues though, man: she’s 15, her family’s very clearly not supportive when they find out, she has superpowers.

     Oh right, missed a step.      In the world of Dreadnought, superpowers are increasingly common. And... it’s kinda to the point that seeing a superhero fight is mundane.

“Oh. Great. A superhero fight. Just friggen’ wonderful.”

    She happens to come across a dying hero (Dreadnought), who is basically the All Might of this world, who grants her all of his superpowers. One of those superpowers? Making you your ideal self. And from here, Danny becomes a Victoria Secret model.

...no, really:

“No. I mean, why I look this way. Mom took me to a fancy bra store the other day, and there were posters everywhere of these women that, well, nobody looks like that in real life, right?”

“Except you, and a few genetic lottery winners.”

“Yeah. So my ideal self—” Doc Impossible chuckles. “Is a photoshopped underwear model, I see.”

    And you know what? I get that. I absolutely agree, I fucking wish I was that attractive. ...but I digress. Honestly? No. I'm not digressing. In fact, this is literally why I’m writing this psuedo-essay/rant nonsense.

More on that later.

 ...

    So right, Danny is a transgender superhero that’s... a fucking lesbian, really attractive, and a complete badass:

"My palms light up with scalding agony, but what hurts for me is torture for him, his whole body convulsing as the energy is reflected back into his skull."

[2] Danny Tozer can’t fucking catch a break for more than two god damn seconds.

      Directly out of her getting her body magically slapped into alignment,  she has to return home since it’s late-o-clock. What do we know about Danny’s home life at this point? Well, she’s not out to her parents.

"Obviously I can’t tell anyone about this. If it got back to Dad, he’d kill me.

He’s obsessed with “making a good man” out of me. “You’re a man now,” he says as his justification for friggin’ everything."

So, not a great picture of what might happen next-- Danny arrives home finally, and has to convince her parents she is… well, the same person. (allegories, there ye be)

"My father’s eyes get wide. His face goes the color of spoiled milk. “What did you do?” he asks, quietly enough to scare me."

    And this, this right here cemented my interest in this story.

    Danny’s scared of her Dad. Earlier, she expressed concern, specifically: ”If [my dad] found out I might be a girl... well, I don’t really want to think about what might happen”. At this point, she’s more scared than she’s ever been in her life. Her greatest fear is happening right now, and all she can do is twist the narrative into an unsaid apology. Danny wants to keep the peace, it’s what she’s done for seven years of her life. So she hides that she’s happy like this. And dad starts pushing to find a solution to this. And mom starts being a little supportive from time to time. Etc, etc, clearly they get their shit together and bang, happy ending.

  lol jk this is DREADNOUGHT people, nope, that is not what happens.

    Yes: great, her mom does start to seem supportive. She buys Danny some bras, cute flats, and even starts to bond with her daughter. It’s some heart-warming, regular shit we’ve all dreamed of getting to do. (but it never did, did it?)

    Her Dad forbids her from going to school since he wants to hide the whole.. “my son turned into a girl” thing. So, like any good kid, Danny goes the fuck to school. And there… she loses a friend.

    So her best friend, David, turns out to be the shining example of a “nice guy”. Danny’s a pretty girl now, why can’t she just date him? He just wants to try. All he does is stare at her tits, but wow, doesn’t he deserve a shot?

    Yeah, fuck you David.     He gets rejected and calls Danny a “stuck-up bitch”. Real great guy.

    Straight out of realizing her ‘best friend’ was a sniveling incel, Danny outs herself to her parents. And then her Dad goes... nuclear.

  (you may not want to read the next section if you’ve had abusive parents)

  "He tells me I’m stupid. That I’m not thinking big picture. That nobody will respect me while I look like a freak. That he only wants what is best for me but I’m screwing it all up.

He says I’ve damaged my reputation, that nobody will take me seriously now.

He demands to know why I don’t have the good sense to be ashamed of what happened to me, but doesn’t wait for an answer before saying I’ve embarrassed them all. He says I’m pathetic, that I’m delusional, that I’m sick.

He suggests I might be a pervert, and that he—generous, caring, and steadfast as he is—might have to fight to keep me off the sex offender list for using the girls’ bathroom.

He tells me I’m disloyal, that I’m a bad son, that I’m selfish and disgusting. He tells me I’m weak, and gross, and that I have no moral fiber.

He says he’s never been so ashamed of me, and then he goes on to emphasize how low that is, given all the other times I’ve shamed him. He says all of this at a volume to shake the rafters.

When I start to cry he calls me a sniveling pussy and says he’s glad his father is dead so he never had to see what a failure I am.

I suck it up fast, force the tears back as quick as I can, because I know the longer I cry the worse it will get."

      Yes, I felt it was necessary to make you read this huge chunk of screen real-estate.

    This, this is something that I know all too well of.

    Danny’s father is a selfish, unloving cunt. Full stop.

    And her mom? God, her mom doesn’t even watch. We know that this kind of talk isn’t the first of its kind. And then Danny... just takes it. It all gets to her, every single word. She thinks of herself as “a worthless, stupid, disgusting little freak”. She’s straight up sobbing in her bed after all of this, trying to keep quiet so her dad doesn’t yell again.

    She (effectively) loses everyone who she thought cared for her in one day. Damn.

    Yeah, your typical superhero origin story. Totally.

    Have I mentioned I relate to Danny so fucking hard?

      Now, honestly? I had to put the book down at this point. It hit in all the sore spots, those points of trauma that’ll probably be here for the rest of my life.

      What’s described here is the visceral reality of having abusive parents. The scars it leaves, the feeling of helplessness... enough to bring you back to it. And this, this particular flavor of helplessness, is something I have not seen in media before.

    I don’t want to spoil much further, these are all thoughts from the first book, and I encourage you to read it yourself. If you thought any of this was interesting or resonated with you, pick up a copy of Dreadnought and give it a good look over.

    (i might write more about this book eventually, might even touch upon the superhero parts :p)

[the-darklings]

the-darklings MASTERLIST; (updated: 14/o1/2o)

⦉ angst ☔️ | fluff 🌸 | nsft 🔥 | personal fave 🌙 | reader fave ✨ ⦊

⦉ AO3 ⦊

► 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐟𝐞𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 

–– we the ouroboros; ☔️🌙

–– we’re good at bad ideas, my love; ☔️

► 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐤/𝐌𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨

[UNRAVELLING MINI SERIES] 🌸☔️🌙✨

summary: “It would be slow. The unravelling.”

progress: [7/7] - COMPLETED 

word count: 20k

–– | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | finale |

[UNBECOMING MINI SERIES] ☔️🌙✨

summary: “He will be the death of you. He will love you to ruin.”

progress: [2/3] - ONGOING [PAUSED TILL DEC]

word count: 12.3k+

–– | 01 | 02 | 

–– half-liars; (alt Quentin is real AU) ☔️🌸

► 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧

–– and (no one) nothing else matters; ☔️🌸🌙✨

–– you breath in when i exhale; 🌸✨

–– the space between fingers; ☔️🌸🌙

–– if love can be called a mistake; 🌸

► 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐛 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐝

–– some other wolf come to devour me; ☔️🌙

–– freeze, thaw, warm for me; 🌸

► 𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐡 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐝

–– eager for love, lacking of worth; ☔️🌸

► 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐝

–– be like the love that discovered sin [i]; ☔️🔥🌙

◎ [EARTH IS WARMER WHEN YOU LAUGH SERIES]; 

summary: “In the end all you need is warmth.”

progress: [6/25] - ABANDONED

pairing: connor x reader

word count: 22k+

–– first | second | third | fourth | fifth | sixth |

► 𝙍𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨!𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙧

–– innocence died screaming (ask me, honey, i should know); ☔️

–– i’ll (still) adore you with your hands around my neck; 🔥✨🌙

–– (maybe) i’ll adore you; [drabble companion to i’ll still adore you]

–– there were never butterflies (just fire); ☔️🔥🌙

–– (lie to me); ☔️🌙

–– (come u n d o n e); 🔥✨🌙

–– (blissful); 🔥🌸

–– (shiver); 🌸

–– (human error); ☔️🌙

–– (we could be s o m e t h i n g); 

–– (rip you out, throw you out); ☔️🌙

–– i whisper these promises yet form no words; ☔️

OTHER:

Ruthless!Connor Headcanons ✨🌙

Ruthless!Connor vs Sub!Connor

Is Ruthless!Connor Dom?

Ruthless!Connor Being Snarky

Mini Ruthless!Connor x Reader Playlist

Mini Ruthless!Connor Playlist

Ruthless!Connor Writing Tips

► 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙧

–– by the grace (of hatred in my veins); ☔️✨🌙

–– (knee socks); 🔥✨

–– (my firefly); ☔️✨🌙

–– (find me); 

–– crown fit for a king; ✨🌸

–– you’re my mission; ✨☔️

–– home is wherever i’m with you; 🌸

–– (m i n e); ✨🌸

–– (close to you); 

–– (everyday magic); 🌸 

–– (moonlight becomes you); 🌸

–– (how to stop time); 🌸✨

–– (to build a home); 🌸

–– (radiant); 🌸

–– (between the cracks); ☔️🌸✨

–– (fade away); ☔️ 🌸

–– (feel something); ☔️

–– (endless blue); ☔️ || alt version: (tender red); 🌸✨

–– mini-series (reversal!au): we might as well be strangers || be mine || ☔️

–– reversal!au: (beautiful disaster);  

OTHER:

Jealous!Connor Headcanons; 🌸

Timeloop!AU headcanons; ☔️

HumanDisaster!Connor Characterisation 

Connor writing tips

► 𝙍𝙆900

–– just the way you like it; ✨

–– (dangerous); ☔️

–– (inimical); 

–– (only human); 🌸

–– (if only for a moment); 🔥��🌙

–– (whispers in the dark); 🔥☔️

–– (pretence); ☔️🌙

–– (reminisce); 🔥

–– (mistletoe); 🌸

–– mini-series: cold grey || endgame || pitch black || game over | ☔️✨🌙

–– ft. soft!reader: headcanons || machine vs cute human || (stolen kisses); || my teacup || (at peace); || (m e l t); || (two solitudes); 🔥 || 🌸✨🌙

OTHER:

RK900 vs Ruthless!Connor Characterisation

Nines & Vulnerability 

Nines + Reader & Deviancy

Nines & Android S/O

Mini RK900 x Reader Playlist

Nines writing tips

► 3𝘾𝙨 - 𝘿𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙩!𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙧, 𝙍𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨!𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙧, 𝙍𝙆900

–– (freefall); 🌸

–– slow dance; 

OTHER:

Ruthless!Connor x Reader x Nines in the Hunger Games ☔️🌙

3Cs reactions to you being in mafia/gang 🌙

3Cs reacting to reader on her period ✨

3Cs pulling their skin back for Reader 

3Cs x Reader Christmas movies

3Cs song recs

3cs x reader: song recs

► 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙪𝙨

–– the special ingredient; 🌸🌙

–– (you don’t know you’re beautiful); 

–– (personal sun); 🌸

► 𝙎𝙞𝙢𝙤𝙣

–– hold me tight, don’t let go; 🌸

► 𝙍𝙖𝙡𝙥𝙝

–– the perfect partner;

► 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙂𝙤𝙙𝙨!𝘼𝙐

[I WILL BUILD MY EMPIRES ON YOUR RUINS];

summary: "This will be your ruin.”

progress: [1/?] - ABANDONED 

pairing: ares!connor x reader x hades!nines

word count: 5.8k+

–– [i]; death

► 𝙑𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙚!𝘼𝙐

–– (l u r k); 🔥✨🌙

–– (p r e y); ☔️🌸✨🌙

non-canon expansions:

–– (touch); 🌸✨

–– protection; ☔️🌸✨

–– hope & future 🌸

–– tipsy; 🌸✨

OTHER:

boys + awkward/shy!reader

boys as kids headcanons

boys as adults headcanons

lore I

lore II

lore III

nsfw headcanons 🔥

sexy times 🔥

vampire!au tag: browse for more questions/scenarios, inspo etc

► 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤/𝙑𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣!𝘼𝙐

–�� (third); 🌸

–– only you; 🌸🌙

–– the beginning; ☔️✨🌙

–– ruthless power; ☔️

–– as dark as the night (maybe darker still); ☔️🌙

OTHER:

non-canon AU: (lonely god); ☔️🌙 

ruthless!connor x reader ☔️

power system

what does Reader/Nines Wear?

what does R!Connor & Connor wear?

hero/villain!au tag: browse for more questions/scenarios, inspo etc

► 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐜𝐤

[CHILDREN OF ARES SERIES] 🌸☔️🌙

summary: “Tell me a story with a happy ending.”

pairing: john wick x f!reader x santino d’antonio

progress: [13/25] - IN PROGRESS, UPDATES EVERY OTHER SATURDAY | NEXT UPDATE: 21/03

word count: 153k+ (in files, writing part 14)

— 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |

| SERIES MASTERLIST |

► 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟒)

[𝘿𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙇𝙤𝙠𝙞]

[BLACK COFFEE MINI DRABBLES] 🌸🌙✨

summary: “Are you always…” he begins slowly, pausing to search for a world that won’t make him sound like a complete asshole. “…like this?”

progress: [2/?] - PAUSED

word count: 3k+

–– 01 | 02 |

–– protective!loki

–– criminal!reader x loki ☔️

► 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐲 

[𝙉𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙁𝙞𝙫𝙚]

–– everything’s left in the ashes; ☔️

► 𝐑𝐄𝟐

[𝙇𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙆𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙙𝙮]

–– if i knew the sun wouldn’t come up tomorrow; ☔️🌸

►𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

[𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙨]

––an island in my ocean; ✨☔️

[hey-malarkey]

Just for One Taste of “Us”

Companion AU:

Long story short, an alt-universe Stan also fell into the portal as an alt-universe Ford, and they both at staggered arrival times get trapped in a gladiator combat arena. Stan freaks out upon seeing Ford and hides his identity under a helmet, but still looks out for Ford. Ford doesn’t know it’s Stan, and the rest of the gladiators just don’t know why the loudmouth human (who Stan convinced the human species are all called Stans) suddenly went mute and started wearing a helmet.

That’s uh, about as much as you need to understand the gist of this au. Aliens all living in one gladiator combat arena together and stan and ford somehow end up in the middle of it. Except they go by Helmet and Ford. Also that Ford in this is like over the moon into his “Companion” and Stan is just “oh shit o h n o” most of the time about that but still too intimidated at this point to give the ruse up

warnings: dubcon handjob (b/w an oc and ford), dubcon blowjob, rough handling, restraints, a swift kick in the balls, and a brief mention (not graphic) of two dicks being taken, some possessiveness and jealousy on Ford’s part, and hidden identity, oh- incest duh, some mutual pining, um lmk if i missed something

word count: 3,178

Helmet was so sick of how possessive and weird Ford was being. It was so fucking dumb! Why break a good thing going, huh? Why does Ford always want more, more, more? Couldn’t he just be happy Helmet had his back? That he wasn’t left out to the wolves of the arena every god dam fight?

No. He couldn’t. For the umpteenth time Ford makes a move on him and Helmet has to rebuff him. Fuck was it hard sometimes, though. Sometimes he wanted Ford back. Ford made himself pretty irresistible. Even in the meager conditions of their gladiator accommodations.

But today really took the cake of bullshit. Ford had been raving and nitpicking on Power Couple for weeks, now. And while he’d been busy challenging Meckonar to a chugging contest, helmet and all, Ford had been getting worked up about Power Couple again. As soon as Helmet had come over, face lit up (not that Ford could see) but body language backing it up, showing off his winnings, Ford had blown up at him about taking all those sexual partners and never letting Ford in “as close” as all those other guys.

And Helmet was. He was pretty fucking shocked. He knew Ford wanted him sexually, but he thought that was just frustration that Ford refused to share with another until he was comfortable. He thought Ford would find release in another gladiator someday, maybe Splash Zone, maybe take up Lizard Bro’s offers. He thought he and Ford were solid in their partnership, in looking out for one another and keeping each other safe.

But Ford threw all that in his face, today. Called Helmet out for being a galactic slut, when he had a “perfectly good” person in the next bunk over to sleep with. To be actual partners with.

And Power Couple shot him a few concerned looks, and walked off, talking. He liked them. And Ford made him look like shit in front of them, and the rest of the quadrant, apparently.

Helmet dragged Ford out by the arm, Ford hurling accusations the whole way, whining and just generally being a piss-poor baby.

He managed to write out to Ford, despite how mad he was “Do you really WANT to be like them?”

And Ford immediately got red in the face, shouting anew. Complaining about how Helmet keeps putting him off, how he seems to ignore Ford’s attempts to get “closer”, how he wants someone who wants him back, goddamnit!

Well. Fuck. If that’s how he wanted to play it.

Helmet gestured between the two of them, asking the question “you want me? You and me, you want this?”

Ford got the gist and nodded, a yes about to be shouted on the tip of his tongue, no doubt to be followed by a few insults to Helmet’s intelligence, as Ford is wont to do when he’s that mad.

Helmet shrugged, then shucked off his pants. That caught Ford by enough surprise that he shut up for a second. Helmet stepped out of his pants and took a step closer to Ford, butt naked, dick hanging low between his legs.

He pulled Ford by the lapels of his stupid space jacket and banged his head to Ford’s hard enough for the CLANG to reverberate around the room. Ford cussed, momentarily stunned. Helmet pulled his jacket down half off Ford’s shoulders, circling behind him to pull the arms crossed behind him, tying off the jacket sleeves. Ford was pinned.

He circled back to the front and forced Ford on the ground, knees hitting hard enough to send dust flying up. Helmet looked down into Ford’s eyes, knowing Ford could barely make out the glint in his own. Again he gestured, meaning “You want this? Is this what you wanted?” and Ford is still a bit too dazed to answer.

Helmet wrenches Ford’s jaw open with his hands, picks up his dick, and stuffs it down Ford’s throat. It’s not gentle or easy, and Ford gags, trying to bite down instinctively against the intrusion.

Helmet makes a clicking sound with his tongue and tightens a grip on Ford’s chin, keeping it pulled down. Can’t bite if you can’t lift your bottom jaw.

He lets himself sit in the warm heat of Ford’s mouth for a few moments, enjoying it despite himself. He shallowly thrusts, feeling his head hit the back of Ford’s throat. Ford is much more together in the moment, now, having shaken off the unexpected head thump. He gags on a question, and the vibrations around Helmet’s dick help perk him up, just slightly.

He pulls out so the head is just lightly resting on Ford’s lips, watching a small trail of drool dribble out of the corner of Ford’s mouth.

He wonders how much Ford actually wants this versus how much Ford will hate him after this.

But then he lets the moment pass and he is shoving back down into Ford’s throat, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of it, and letting himself get hard.

It gets easier when Ford sucks the first time. Maybe trying to preserve some dignity by not letting drool run down his face. Or maybe because he’s into it. Helmet doesn’t ask him. Just rewards Ford with a pat on the head, scritching the hair behind Ford’s right ear with his free left hand. He settles his grip in Ford’s hair after that, and feels Ford’s body start rocking in tandem with how Helmet is thrusting.

God, what a fucking slut. And Ford called him the whore? Because he sleeps around with others that are looking for the same thing he is—nothing serious, just relief. What’s Ford in this for?

He’s in it because Helmet wanted to fucking teach him a lesson. But he’s enjoying himself too much to learn it. What a fucking backfire.

Helmet pushes one heavy boot closer to Ford’s crotch, digging the toe against him and feeling through all the fabric and material Ford’s hardness.

Helmet probably didn’t even need to be holding his chin, anymore, if this was how he was going to react. Shit.

He lets go of Ford’s chin and Ford is bobbing and sucking all on his own, just as he thought. He does such a good job that Helmet is fast approaching release, and he doesn’t try to hold back when Ford takes him deep into his throat, sucking with all his dam might.

Helmet cums down his throat, shooting a hot mess that Ford didn’t seem to be expecting.

Maybe he thought Helmet would give warning. Nope. But despite the surprised gag, Ford still tries to suck it all up. By the time Helmet pulls out, he lets his spent cock rub over Ford’s lips, leaving a bit of cum he missed fall across Ford’s face. He pushes Ford back a little, nearly unbalancing, checking the state of his arousal. Still hard in his jeans. Probably close to busting a nut, though, if the way Ford was swiveling his hips against the air was any indication.

Helmet drags Ford up by his sweater, so he’s standing again. Ford tries stepping closer, looking for relief, words finally starting to form again through husky vocals. Helmet keeps them an arms-length apart, however. And then he kicks straight up, hard, against Ford’s nuts. His shin hits his crotch, and he immediately sees tears gather and his broken voice cry out.

He drops to his knees again, and Helmet lets him as he puts his own pants back on. He hoists Ford up again and drags him down to Armadillo Doctor’s tent. He leaves Ford outside while he goes in, with no haggling for once offering a quarter of his winnings from the chugging contest.

He takes off his helmet and looks the doctor in the eye.

“See what you can do about his bruised dick. I already tried fixing his ego, but it might be a lost cause. Thanks, doc.”

He puts his helmet back on after the doctor agrees, giving him one of those beady-eyed looks that can make a grown Mrrekian cry. Ford will be in good hands.

Helmet comes back out, patting Ford on the face, pushing him through the tent flap of Armadillo Doctor’s office.

As he’s walking away he hears the scratch of claws on almost-concrete and looks up to see Lizard Bro taking pace beside him.

“What was that about, Boyo? Your friend did not look too well.”

“He’s getting taken care of. Wanna go catch the rest of the flight match? I had bets down on the Oeripian and the Sclinesdale.”

Lizard Bro agrees and they go up to the match. They laugh and make obnoxious jokes and

Helmet collects his winnings when the Oeripian fuckin’ owns. But it’s still not as good as spending an afternoon with Ford. He hopes Ford gets his head out of his ass, soon. He’s gonna miss him if Ford still decides he wants to get together the way Power Couple did.

He’s been here longer than Ford has. He knew them each before they became Power Couple.

They even got transferred to a different wing because they became such crowd favorites they got protected status in the barracks by the Overseers. But before they were Power Couple, they were nothing. Helmet wants to be something to Ford whether they have sex or not. Preferably not. Especially not until Ford knows who he’s wanting to fuck. And hopefully the day of admitting who he is never comes. So never.

But he can’t deny Ford forever. Hopefully this at least will ward Ford off from approaching him like that in the future. He follows Lizard Bro back to his quarters that night and takes two dicks like a champ. But when he falls asleep post-fuck, it still means nothing and he misses Ford.

In the tent Ford’s tears have cleared, but his hands are still tied behind his back. He’s sure if he wiggled sufficiently, he could break free. But Armadillo Doctor got testy if his patients were too active, so he let his position stay while AD bustled about his tent, muttering under his breath.

He let his mind drift back a few short minutes ago. He didn’t think he’d be able to evoke such a reaction from Helmet. And sweet Moses, was it good, despite how unexpected it was. All up until that kick that was still sending sporadic pain signals to his brain. 

He hadn’t even gotten off, yet, before Helmet kicked. And he’d been so close. Just thinking about it is enough to make his body want to get hard, but that sends a stronger pulse of pain through him, and he groans softly.

“What? What? Can you not wait two minutes? Impatient Stan!”

Ford rolls his eyes. For some reasons all the aliens referred to him as Stan instead of Stanford. It was annoying, as if they thought that was his surname or species. They did it to Helmet too, sometimes. Helmet was always as mute on the matter as he was about everything. Keeping his secrets and thoughts all to himself, that evasive bastard.

Armadillo Doctor approaches him again, holding a bag with some unidentifiable cream.

“You will be fixed,” he says abruptly. It seems to be the only way he talks, through the translator at least.

AD unbuttons Ford’s pants and drags them down unceremoniously. He tilts his head back and suppresses a sigh. It was a necessary evil of living in the arena. Sometimes an armadillo doctor was going to have to touch your dick. His arms are uncomfortably folded behind him, making his hips slightly propped up on his wrists, so he doesn’t have to move too much to see what AD is doing.

The small hands are cold and covered in cream and slowly working the substance into Ford. Carefully, as if he knew Ford wanted to at least keep that organ in some level of usable condition.

Whatever he was doing, it felt amazing with just an edge of pain still pulsing. And worse, he was getting hard. Even with the pain. Maybe because of it. (He can’t deny that some of the appeal of Helmet pushing him down had been just the raw power and discomfort brought on by the suddenness.)

“You made bad choice, Stan.”

“It’s not my fault!” he defended himself indignantly.

Armadillo Doctor moved one hand down and squeezed Ford’s balls. Ford sucked in a breath and held it a moment, waiting for the pressure to ease.

“It is.” And he releases, rubbing the cream in over his sac. Ford breathes out and relaxes back, eyes still on Armadillo Doctor’s motions further down. It isn’t as good as if Helmet had done it, but he can’t remember the last time he accepted a hand that wasn’t his at it. It was good to get it elsewhere, even if it’s from the alien doctor.

After he breathes out Ford has a moment to think over what AD is saying. And he starts feeling the anger burn beneath his skin again. 

“What was my fault, exactly? That I give so much to Helmet, and he refuses to give me anything in return? He talks to everyone in the arena but me. He goes off to get fucked by everyone in the arena but me! Does he not trust me?”

Armadillo Doctor dips a finger in the cream and returns to stroking Ford’s shaft. He does it with less healing purpose and more with a bored look, if Ford was reading him right.

“Stan Ford, you are a--- what is word? You dick!” He says with a burst of emotion, squeezing slightly on the upstroke and twisting his hand off in a way that makes Ford gasp. It’s weird being insulted while getting off, but he isn’t in the position to argue.

“You dick,” AD continues, returning to the task at hand. “Your friend is not enough? Your Stan Helmet pays me for you. Your Stan Helmet wins fight for you. Your Stan Helmet chose you.”

Ford shakes his head, not ready to admit defeat. “Okay, yes, he does those things, but he still doesn’t trust me! Everyone else has seen him with his helmet off. And for the last time, we’re called humans, not Stans.”

“Stan Ford. You dick.” Armadillo Doctor almost smiles. Great. He learned a new word and enjoys using it against him, now. “You know the secrets? Stan Helmet was alone before you. Now he smiles.”

“But I can’t see that! It’s ludicrous--I don’t care what he’s hiding, disfigurement, or birthmark, or ugly, I just want to know him. And he won’t let me.” 

“All Stans look the same,” Armadillo Doctor said dismissively. Ford huffed out an annoyed sigh, then groaned again as Armadillo Doctor squeezed, picking up speed again. He was getting close. And the cream had worked wonders already, making him feel good as new, down there.

“Look, you don’t get it. He--ahhh!” Ford cut himself off in a low yell when the force of his orgasm built and erupted suddenly, right at the end. Armadillo Doctor sighs and tears off an edge of Ford’s jacket to wipe up his hands and Ford with. He tucks the cloth he tore under a stack of metal bits.

Ford recovers fairly quick after he cums, but he’s still hit with that desire to take a nap, to drift off in his uncomfortable position and curl up next to--

He is brought back to the moment abruptly. Armadillo Doctor grips his chin tight and stares him in the eye, leaning in too close.

“Six-Fingers. Helmet threatens the worst fighters to not call you that. Helmet pays your debts. Helmet protects only you. Helmet kick you now as warning shot. I do not care. But. Helmet deserves better than you, Six-Fingers.”

The claws dug into Ford’s chin tighter for one more moment before letting go, patting his forehead lightly, wiping the sweat off of Ford’s brow.

Armadillo Doctor props him up and cuts the jacket apart.

“Dick leave.”

Ford gathers his jacket to repair later and stands without another word, zipping himself back up and leaving without another word to Armadillo Doctor. Overstaying your welcome in the medicine tent was dangerous.

He grumbled to himself the whole way back, thinking over what Armadillo Doctor said. How ridiculous he was being. Did Helmet pay for him to get ‘taken care of’ by the Doctor, or was that just a perk?

He finds their bunks and it’s empty. Helmet is nowhere to be seen. There’s a slight impression on the floor from where he’d dropped suddenly, twice, earlier. He kicks some dirt over it.

Ford sits heavily on the lower bunk, rubbing a hand over his crotch, checking over the area as he pointedly does not stare at the patch of ground that gave him slight bruises on each knee. He lays back and thinks about everything that was said. He pointedly looks away from the collection of former weapons, scrap metal, and defensive padding he’s seen his Companion trade on his behalf numerous times.

He grunts and pulls out his latest journal from its hiding spot, perusing the pages mindlessly, not having anything to write but wanting something to distract him from this mood he’s in. 

He sees a few of the notes his Companion has left for him in the margins, one of the few ways they’ve communicated clearly. Ford flips past them quickly, but one catches his eye. 

It was a drawing of a six-fingered thumbs up, a little wobbly, and a note of encouragement beside it. His companion had made that entry after Ford nearly lost his match a few weeks ago. Ford swallowed and turned the page, wanting a new distraction.

Between his notes on coded escape plans and hopes for defeating Bill were notes about his friend. Things he’d forgotten he’d committed to these few scrap pages bound together by odds and ends. Some of the paper he’d written on procured by his Companion, in fact, after Ford expressed a desire to write things down to help him plan.

Ford stowed the journal, suddenly feeling a little queasy. God, the doctor was right. He was a dick. Despite the ups and downs of their relationship, Helmet has never pretended like he was leading Ford on. He’d made a boundary clear, and Ford had allowed his frustrations to wreck that line.

He sat up from the bed, pacing. He needed to make this right. He would let his Companion have his space tonight, and go find him in the morning. Ford can’t help the sour twang of jealousy when he assumes that Helmet shacked up with Lizard Bro tonight, but he swallows it down. 

He turns into bed later that night alone, not even with the steady sounds of his friend’s snores to comfort him, and he misses what he’d almost thrown away. Hopefully his Companion will forgive him one more time, in the morning.

[elizabethrobertajones]

14x04 watching notes

Happy Birthday, Davy!

-

Mittens just ominously warned me to warm up this notepad while I waited for the episode to finish downloading.

The nice guy from the phone provider has recently restored our internet after 4 days of radio silence from me, but it's only about 4'o clock on friday, so really some good timing!

Expectations: pre-mittens warning, Davy back on his nonsense with the scary episodes and expected nonsense of sinking back into MotW after mytharc but in capable hands because, you know, new writing team is aces and all.

post-mittens warning: idk but I should get a stuffed toy?

-

That's a suspicious amount of ghost lore.

Has Heaven started dumping the spirits out now and if it really IS a ghost it's not going to behave properly?

-

Oh my god it's a Hell Hazers poster.

There was something I would have talked about pre-episode but had no internet so didn't, but the focus on Dean and nerds and the expectation that this episode would be about a comic book store, did remind me of 9x07 and the action figure which was all "i clobber evil!" and was a strong Dean mirror, including that he needlessly burned it on the stove to try and get rid of the ghost of the mom but it turned out she needed to be talked into letting her son let her go in a scene which has all sorts of shades of Dean vs Mary in 12x22 now and also Dean's entire mark of cain arc was in the self-destruction of his self as an action figure that clobbered evil. A reminder that Dean is this figure seems fairly timely with him coming down from being possessed, as of course he has been used as an action figure. And his willingness to turn himself into one in 13x23 was very much turning himself into the Michael Sword, which in this cosmos is practically like the rarest collectible action figure of the universe. This harks back all the way to the first season and Dean's issues with John's control and the whole blunt little instrument arc, also something that fed directly into demon!Dean, and is being reflected this season in Nick, who murdered a guy with a hammer, after his family was murdered by a hammer, and said yes to Lucifer because of all that angst about hammer murder. Subtle.

Anyway, this is sort of the emotional background to me for action figures in the show.

A Hell Hazers poster also reminds us that Dean is a horror fan, his own connections to the genre, a CLASSIC episode, and a time when he was living his best life briefly.

You know, before he sold his soul for *waves at previous big paragraph* reasons

Fitting for how season 13 ended with Dean this close to happy world peace retirement living his best life :P

-

Awww the fake movie the MotW comes from is called All Saints Day. Davyyy :')

People I know who are born on like October SECOND consider themselves extra spooky halloween people. I can only imagine what it does, as a 23rd Oct. birthday person, to the psyche to actually be born ON it.

This episode's subtitle is just "Lol I have the best birthday, fuckers"

-

ACTUAL CLIP FROM 2x18!

And the fucking racist truck >.> Which in-universe was teased as another different movie using the footage in the trailer for Hell Hazers II.

-

My mum has that exact Wonder Woman figure

-

This guy is wearing a trenchcoat-featured jacket with a maroon t-shirt under it. I could not tell you what he represents but the trenchcoat part is amusing.

I can't *actually* start saying everything is party!Cas symbolism though so I'll just shush

-

Er this rando that people were saying was dressed like Sam from the promo images literally is called Sam, and she's wearing a very very loud checkered shirt, of course featuring a lot of orange. I'm guessing with that info it's next to impossible to say she ISN'T in some way a Sam parallel :P

Comic Book Guy is possibly caught in the middle of stealing an action figure, and I can't work out if he is just nervous about that or has a crush on Sam because his behaviour was so suspect, but from the promo scene where he looks a lil worse for the wear he talks about breaking up with his goth gf, and Sam is very clearly a nerd, not a goth.

(Goth nerds are things. The media will get there one day :P)

-

Oh okay after a few lines of the exchange, yeah this guy is a dick, I have NO clue why he's wearing that coat symbolism wise, and Sam really ought to fire him because wow, uncool and also he seems to be a stereotypical nerdbro gatekeeper who would literally rather scare off customers but be right than just enjoy what they all enjoy together.

-

Then he apologises for getting angry for saying he just gets spun out sometimes. Honestly, this seems to be crossing over into Dean territory considering the last thing from the recap was Dean being told he was like Michael by Bad Kaia and being really angry when he said he was nothing like him... He also used "spun out" about himself in 12x20 but in rather more tragic lost-Cas circumstances but obviously this parallel has a different lesson to tell than just making them equivalent. This guy is so awful and is using his anger in a petty way over things that don't really matter. He's getting spun out over made up battles rather than real angst, and whether he has his own underlying trauma that makes him behave that way or not, the straight white nerd is one of the secondary main villains of the century so far after the literal alt right, with some overlap of course. Think Kylo Ren as one of the dominant critiques of this behaviour :P Compared to the open of 8x11 for example, where the nerds were harmless weirdoes despite also being straight white and obsessive, the aggression and obsession are played not just as a harmless trait of people who like LARPing and collecting toys, but gatekeep, yell at kids over superman facts, and refuse to have their own dominance challenged.

Thinking he could fight superman might actually explain the Cas like jacket - it's too short to be a coat - that he idealises these heroes, is wearing Batman (who in pop culture most recently was around "v superman") and Cas of course has all his superman comparisons from both 6x20, and his rebirth in 12x01 where he came back to earth as a fiery comet and was immediately mistaken for a spaceman. There's some dark idolisation/mirroring here, that he's debating how to fight the guy (krytonite gloves = the BMoL knuckledusters) and at the same time mirroring the show's Superman in his dress. Only much, much lesser. More subtextual mockery about his weakness and how he doesn't really measure up.

I think in a lot of ways the discourse about nerds in pop culture is moving on now to  make this difference clear, that the ones who will be mocked are the ones who deserve it for being too cruel to respect, while in many other ways the mainstreaming of nerd culture into pop culture, meaning a large amount of it is no longer mockable, that everyone had at least SOME nerdy indulgences, means that in general nerdom is more accepted and exalted than ever. SPN obviously having its own deep roots into nerd culture has some direct room for commentary here, and this is also a way of reminding its own fans to be cool and not to be this guy.

-

Oh, huh, he safely exited the shop. I did not see that coming.

-

LOL he has batman bedding on a fold out bed in either a shed, garage or basement where he lives.

(This detail was tragic in Attack the Block but it's quite clear in this case the guy is fully grown and is being used as a detail to show his forward progression in life)

-

Wow, you really have some rage issues here. Especially trying to wrangle free pizza i mean dude. Talk about a line that personifies him 100 different ways in one go :P Who shouts at their pizza delivery place?? They remember your number! This is how to get extra toppings.

-

Oh my god please get beaten to death by this lil guy

(I know I know he survives he's in the promo)

Is this like... haunted kidney episode... but better?

Actually, Fallen Idols plus Mannequin episode but better.

-

You know how we saw in the last new year? Watching Small Soldiers for the first time since like the 90s or whenever it came out

-

The show's animation is so much better

Than Small Soldiers and itself from past years

-

Oh DEAN

-

I mean he totally deserves a day off.

-

I can't believe he owns these socks. Who got them for him for Christmas?

Okay, well first we have to work out which was the last Christmas they had where they were not in prison or in an alternate dimension or dead or -

-

Cas. It was Cas.

-

He literally had no idea this wasn't just a cute commentary on how much Chinese take out Dean eats

-

Anyway as far as I can tell Dean is living out the bisexualdemondean header just to spite Michael for defiling his temple. He's filling it with noods and pizza (and I am sure he didn't yell at the delivery guy, but tipped him well instead for making drop offs at a shady street corner miles from where anyone lives)

-

Honestly it's been 12 years since Hell Hazers II... What took them so long

-

Dean's drunk a full thing of Margiekugle mom beer, which is a lil worrying just in terms of him using it instead of comfort from her like in 12x02, now that she's back.

-

God I want Dean to meet the asshole from the comic shop and for him to get into a dick measuring contest about Hell Hazers II and Dean to be like uh I WORKED on it you ass

-

Er, does that vending machine contain the nougat of choice of your consumptive son on the other side of the wall?

(who may be out with Cas concealing his consumption on a case so not bothered by all this TV noise)

-

God I love and have missed Dean, my trashy guy who is sitting hugging a pillow like a teen girl at a sleepover to watch his hatchetman slasher to celebrate being back to himself and get the much-needed R&R, since, you know, last time we saw him he threatened to "break" Kaia and was in a very very bad place (lol)

-

This guy about to get murdered for trying to snatch a nougat bar is dressed like the unfortunate bandmate (Tommy?) to Vincifer. Is this an oblique Ladyheart reference to set up a weird scenario where Hatchetman is punishing a Lucifer-adjacent asshole for trying to steal Nougat?

-

I can't believe there's a red exit sign behind him which means Wanek is Waneking in multiple dimensions at once

-

"Mint Condition" flashes up over Dean indulging in his pizza, saying, hey look it's our guy back in shape. Or, you know, ironically so. Either because Dean being Dean means eating junk food and wallowing because his husband has wandered off with the kid and isn't home to snuggle him while he does this mandatory bedrest, or because, of course, Dean is not Mint Condition at all. He's literally and emotionally scarred.

-

I am pretty sure this shirt that Sam has on is 12 years old.

-

Statistically, they're gonna get murdered in each and every one of their original Kripke era shirts until none of them are available to be murdered in later.

I say for no particular reason.

-

Leave Sam alone. He doesn't shave you mock him, he does shave, you... also mock him. He was doing really well while you were gone! No one got even slightly stabbed who didn't deserve it! This is an all-time record. A beard is a price to pay for that.

-

Honestly I think Dean is stoned but they're not going to say so but I am treating this scene like it is.

-

"I wanted to check up on you," Sam says, pulling over a chair. This is so like how he was in 14x01 when he was powering around the Bunker being the boss, and given Dean's been on bedrest, again, much-needed, Sam is treating him like another one of his charges, and once more is in a position of authority... But now, despite shaving to act like nothing has changed a bit more, he is the one in charge of Dean as one of his wards. Everything has changed. Your dynamic is actually wobbling in a weird way.

In season 10 when Dean was laid up with the Mark blues especially around 10x12, which this intro also reminds me of, re: Dean spending a week in his room and Sam popping in to check on him, Sam was still keeping a very wary eye on Dean more that he was a bomb that may explode, and that while he needed to be managed, the power dynamic was extremely, extremely horrifying in that if Sam messed up Dean would murder him. Not an ongoing implicit threat between them, but the knowledge that Dean could become a demon again and demon!Dean would attempt to kill Sam, and so Sam had better do his utmost to keep Dean in a good place. Even if it eventually meant a series of convoluted secrets to try and fix him against his wishes.

Obviously, things are different here. Sam has developed a LOT since then, with season 11 beginning a recovery of his character in tentative little steps which actually kicked off in season 12, and, specifically, in 12x04 under Davy Perez in American Nightmare heralding the new era of Sam focus and lovingly stroking his hair and lavishing him with Sam-sculpted episodes the like of which we hadn't seen all through Carver era.

Now when Sam comes into Dean's room and pulls up a chair and sits down to check up on him, he actually radiates a comfortable, competent authority to do so.

... however he is doing it in that pink shirt which I honestly love the concept of but just wish that I couldn't see Sam in 2x06 showing up in it for the first time, like, my brain is just screaming at him to go get a bunch more pink shirts and refresh his wardrobe

I'm so certain of it but now I have to check because 12 years is such a long time but

http://www.homeofthenutty.com/supernatural/screencaps/albums/SPN2x06/SPN_0060.jpg

Mittens yelled "OH MY GOD" when I sent her the link so I think I'm right

Like, conceptually in every way it's great because it's this long pink shirt that fits him well, fuck toxic masculinity, blah blah action heroes in pink shirts, love it love it love it, but also: it's another fucking plaid shirt Sam has owned since he was a gap-toothed child six years younger than Jack presents as

-

Dean is lacking his second bedside table, as he has been for seasons, but I'm just staring at him lying sideways on his bed, wondering about his set up, and if this is in any way similar to how he watched all those cowboy movies with Cas, since Davy, of course, was the one to suggest that they had been watching movies together.

-

"And... not that I'm complaining... House is full of strangers"

Yeah, we know you hate it, Dean. God, it's tragic. In a wonderful way. Sam's built this little empire for himself and it's on top of Dean's old nesting spot. Dean's been forced into his room not just to hide away because he's ashamed but because he doesn't want to be seen and there's too many strange eyes out there. However this resolves, it's going to force some growth. Honestly, as much as Dean loves this room and it means to us, it's also a bleak lonely spot and in the like 7 years they've had the Bunker, Dean's never hooked up in that bed, while it has come to be very much like, well... The bed of an angry nerd living in a basement still using Batman sheets. Again, dark parallels, but of Dean in a dark place.

I'd love if he moved out and got a house in the suburbs.

I mean.

Cas has a house in the suburbs.

(Re: long-running Lizzy watching notes in-jokes about where he stashes a bunch of stuff like demon tablets, first blades, metatron's grace, etc etc)

But yeah, no. I like the idea of Dean nesting, of course. But aside from the obvious conveniences, the Dean Cave, etc, there's no reason it HAS to be here except that this is their inheritance and it's safe. But as I constantly talk about with the library abutting the war room, the work/life balance is always in question and filling the Bunker with strangers is a great way to shove all the life balance out, and leave the only spot left of that to Dean in this room.

If the AU peeps don't all get sent home but remain at least in part a hunter community and maybe even network and grow as the Winchesters finally open up the Bunker's resources and share them and stop being all isolated like Carver era fiercely protected... Dean might have no choice but to move his nesting down the road to somewhere with a sofa where he can park his car out front, and choose to commute in to work.

-

Awww they have the "our lives are a scary movie" argument again, in a well-worn way. So well-worn this is repeating dialogue from somewhere or other... 2x18? 4x07? God I don't know, implicit in Sam's eyerolling at Halloween in 1x01? All of the above? I am not looking that up. But anyway their stances haven't moved, possibly because this is something that has never really been challenged before. If Sam didn't hate scary movies already, watching 18 hours of Hell Hazers II dailies probably did in any remaining sympathy he would have had towards them, while Dean thrived there.

I guess he may finally have had time to watch it?

And of course stay for the credits to see his name.

Anyway Dean has historically cited movies as research or job adjacent, or vicariously enjoyed watching monsters at work from the safe remove of a screen, while Sam throws it all in to that box where of course it goes to 1x01 where he's running away from ALL of it and has his oddly specific choices to avoid halloween in his day to day as Lawboy. He's struggled to indulge in the weird as a hobby, likes serial killers as, as far as we can diagnose, an outlet of darkness but purely human, and keeps the work/life balance in a rather unhealthy way of denial and boxing things away, because so much of his early seasons arcs were about resisting the life and refusing the call. This harks back to their literal first episode characterisations of Dean being all in and Sam being all out and it's interesting to have us back here in season 14, in a period of such deep reflection, when Sam has finally sort of accepted the life, found a niche in the work that suits him as the boss, and Dean is struggling now with retirement questions, and taking a week off, not liking his home full of strangers, etc etc.

-

"More Michael Monsters?" Dean asks immediately quick fire when Sam says he has a case.

He may have taken a week off to indulge in pizza but that obsession lurks under his skin. He's in no way done, though I think perhaps better prepared to enter this case than he had been, though of course he's billed as still struggling.

-

Dean also instantly recognises the Thundercats name, and I'm afraid it's something I'm just not familiar with, that I clearly missed some wave of it when I was younger and it hasn't come back around as an adult... I can't wait to read stuff by people who know more about it and say tragic things about Dean's connection to it. But the important thing here is the dark mirror to the guy who got beat up by the toy, because Dean is being shown as also an enthusiastic nerd who knows the franchise and is excited by this concept and is leaping into a case about it with a "strippers, Sammy. Finally!" level of enthusiasm.

Healthy nerds and unhealthy nerds. But at the same time, Dean might be a better nerd, but his anger last episode is still being examined through this guy.

-

I love that for Sam and Dean, dressing up for Halloween is dressing up like total nerds in a totally different pop culture way - the old appearance of geeks which is wildly outdated but damned if they aren't putting on pocket protectors anyway. It's a caricature but it's one that is at total odds with who they are as people... More of a traditional halloween thing where normally Sam and Dean are really scary people with weapons, so when you make them dress all topsy turvy, they dress like this instead. They ARE halloween costumes, in their day to day.

-

Dean continues watching in the shop, Sam eyes up the Red Hood.

I watched that a million years ago with no idea that Jensen was in it, though I had watched the first couple of seasons at that point. I think it was during my "aww the show was cancelled" phase where it was completely off my radar. It's hilarious to me now, because I don't think I COULD watch it, now I know Jensen's voice so disproportionately well. It would be so off-putting.

-

"She's like your twin."

Sam and Sam both tuck their hair behind their ears at the same moment.

"What are you talking about?"

So. This is going to be extremely subtle.

I hope New Sam survives the episode D:

-

Sam points out the other guy who people were saying based off the promo pics would be the Dean to this girl's Sam with no idea what was to come. He and Dean in this case are both eating lollipops purloined from the halloween candy.

I guess this guy in the All Saints Day t-shirt shares Dean's love of the same franchise, and seems to represent the bizarre venn diagram with Dean on one side and Andrew Dabb on the other. Their nerdy overlap.

-

I feel like Sam is just pointing out this character mirror to be an annoying sibling and wow do I love seeing them like this.

I also feel like there is no way Davy would do this if he wasn't about to troll the fuck out of us with these parallels in some terrifying meta way and pointing out that character parallels are a thing this blatantly is about to be Awful somehow.

-

The Red Hood is staring disapprovingly at them through all of this

-

Anyway of course Dean Parallel immediately recognises Dean's enthusiasm for Hatchetman and encourages him to press the button, which Dean does with glee. I CLOBBER EVIL. Wait no.

Sometimes we do bad things.

Oh dear.

Oh deeeeeeeeeeear.

Yeah, Hatchetman is like... idk, michael!Dean or something. Or some dark part of Dean where all his violence is and this twisted version is almost like the burned result of the I Clobber Evil hero being melted by Dean and - too meta, I am in pain.

-

"Vintage hot wheels!"

I know what you want because I have a smol 67 impala on my shelf. Nyoom.

-

He has an eeny weenie mystery machiney so he can make them race.

-

Okay guy who got beat up by a toy is called Stuart (I am so bad at names, honestly.)

Of course he got kicked out by his roomie for being insufferable about something as pointless as subs vs dubs, and Sam is already apologising for him before they even go meet him.

Considering there's 3 people working at the shop and Stuart had a trenchcoat, but is also being mirrored to Dean, darkly, I feel like there might be some serious shuffling going on here that surface level, Stuart had that Cas marker, but... yeah

-

Heeee Dean stealing the Flash mug and making Sam have the one with the cats all over it. One mug representing Stuart, one representing his mum.

I mean it is Sam's turn to have a relationship with THEIR mom this season. Idk if the mugs are actually symbolic over anything other than Dean living his best geek life right now.

I mean he's added the glasses to his ensemble, he's really living it up.

I hope he's still wearing Send Noods under this

-

Awww it's hot apple cider. What a good mom. This is a perfect halloween drink.

-

*Stuart Rage Sounds from below*

Wow this is subtle that he has some rage issues.

-

"Campbell and sons insurance" Hey remember when I said that this whole season's emotional set up with Sam's ownership of the AU peeps reminded me of season 6 and the Campbells? They also literally are the sons of Mary Campbell, so.

No lies, at least, with some serious stretching of the truth.

-

God, the detail that Dean has played Zelda.

He's being nerdy out loud constantly, and without much fear of judgement. It's wonderful. I guess he's been jostled up enough by Michael that he doesn't really care to hide this random pointless thing that in the grand scheme why should he be ashamed, and also he feels so much worse about other things that this is just an escape to have fun. It also reminds me of last season when he was mourning Cas except that this indulgence Sam is allowing him is co-sponsored by Dean and he's throwing himself into enjoying the smaller things and being more openly Dean-ish than he has in a while. Like, I don't think character comparisons to 8x11 for the nerds is the only way the episodes link :P

-

In 8x11 Dean's initial reaction to LARPing is that it looks awesome, then he corrects at a look from Sam to being more judgy. In 9x04 as scripted, Sam is surprised that Dean want to read Game of Thrones. So idk if that's just Robbie character interpretations since my 2 surface level examples are from his episodes or if that's just been where open nerdery has lived in past years, but anyway. Sam isn't stopping Dean from indulging in the same way - it seems he also recognises Dean's nerdiness and is less threatened by it than before, in the sense that he doesn't feel like Dean isn't acting himself, but now accepts the nerdiness is a part of Dean.

-

"Who needs goth girl drama" dude you are the most awful over-dramatic asshole on the show now Lucifer is dead

-

LOL he's trying to lie about being attacked by a toy now, and Dean points out that he got whooped so thoroughly he was beaten on the back and genitals - so yeah we look at his face and wiiiiince

-

"Lady you wasn't kidding."

-

"Big Bang in there..."

Goodness are we calling out the Big Bang theory for its toxic nerdery? Love it.

-

Sam and Dean halloween costumed as total nerds, still driving around in the Impala. The reverse of someone rolling up in a boring old modern car and, like, a bunch of Draculas get out.

-

Sam can shave off the beard but it can't stop him Bobby-ing

Dean side-eyes this

-

"Yeah, it was Riley, he'll be fine."

"I don't know who Riley is, but cool."

God, I am so into this whole dynamic.

Tell me more, Davy.

-

"So seriously, what is your deal with halloween?"

"I don't like it"

Dean, I am watching this episode on November 2nd, just so you know.

Anyway. This is literally. 1x01's opening adult Sam moment. But Dean's going back to poke Sam about it since he's someone Sam won't lie to in the same way that Sam was concealing his entire being from Jess. I mean this isn't subtle - in 1x01 Dean calls Sam out for doing this. But then, Sam doesn't exactly develop beyond it - in season 8 he does this with Amelia.

Because obviously if Sam is going to move forward and develop there's still things which are not addressed. And if Dean is having his idea of home and work challenged, and his nest disrupted until perhaps he will fly it... Sam has never ever actually addressed his work/life balance in the meaningful way where... like... this was how his difference was introduced when we first ever meet lil babby Sam smiling innocently at us on screen as a kid who has the whole future ahead of him and no idea what torment he's gonna go through. 14 years later, if he's ever going to be a grown up who can handle himself in a relationship and know what is work and what is life and how he can watch halloween movies and not feel personally offended by them but enjoy them as a fantasy and a way of boxing off their world into a safe place they don't have personal responsibility for...

Maybe he might just get a girlfriend who he can tell he is a hunter. Like. Dude. Dean was past that step before the show ever STARTED thanks to his time with Cassie.

-

Sam, also, metaphorically is an angry guy living in his mom's basement, but perhaps in a more metaphorical way where it's to do with living his whole life under the shadow of his mom horrifically dying as a result of the supernatural and being brought up feeling like a freak and just wanting to be normal and all

wheeee

-

Anyway Dean is probing for actual answers so I assume Davy will give us a solution to this this episode, but this is my take on it before we get into it properly.

-

Alternative hypothesis: Davy is personally offended that Sam doesn't like halloween despite it being the best holiday, is determined to fix that and fuck canon, characters can change even 14 years later.

-

"Don't give me this 'every day is halloween' crap because one it aint, we don't eat that much candy"

I have missed Dean and I love him with every fibre of my being, brb I need to vibrate out of existence at the sheer joy of knowing him

-

That was the worst "we aren't here staking out your house" move I have ever seen.

You are professionals who have been doing this together for 14 years

why was that so laughably bad?

-

The youtube comments are so cutting and a bunch of them are unfortunately true. It's self-awareness of using the loser nerd trope but also, cutting in a way because of course Stuart is coming across so much as someone who deserves it - and we're starting to see his mom is sweet and doesn't seem to have caused any trauma in a surface read, and that he was the one who dumped his online gf, and he starts other fights at work or with roomies, so this is getting more and more into territory where he seems fully to blame for his own situation, and therefore you CAN mock him for living in mom's basement, because he PUT himself there, and is single because he chose to be, and so on. The pervading sense that if he was a nicer person, none of this would be happening to him, right down to him stealing the toy in the first place.

-

Oh boy, the bloody handprint on the wall... We are back in handprint territory, and, you know, maybe because SOMEONE walking past it has been scarred on the wrong shoulder by the actions of an angel or something

-

There's a chinese take out carton on the shelf in this basement. I doubt it's a collectible.

Send noods.

-

Okay, that's sort of weird.

-

If the mom is in costume I don't get the reference. I hope someone else has handled that.

-

We're going to get her POV on her loser son now, I guess.

-

"Everything's fine :)" *leaves the room* "everything is not fine!"

Are we calling them out for using "fine" so loosely again too huh?

(Side note: Jack saying he's fine while consumptive, and yeah I am still upset about that. What are you doing to the boy????)

-

Dean and Sam split up and as Sam walks off a nurse eyes him up and smiles. No idea how intentional that was but I mean, can you blame her? :P

-

You know, I don't know anything about this franchise, but Sam just jumped to see a toy of a guy who looks weirdly similar to the vampires that ATE HIM a few weeks ago.

He checks over his shoulder in case Dean manifested at his side just in time to see that

-

Awww Dean and New Dean meet. "he must have awesome insurance"

He calls Stuart's mom "Babs" which is hilarious. They seem close.

New Dean has issues with his dad and Stuart lets him crash with him no questions asked. I suppose Dean isn't going to think too hard about how Sam's choice for his parallel has issues with his dad.

This forgiveness for Stuart's behaviour because he's kind to his own people is a very TFW trait, which makes New Dean more like Sam or Cas forgiving Dean his outbursts, as he's by far the ragiest of them, with Cas trailing in second and Sam the zen fucking master.

-

Lol Dean and New Dean are both dragged into the room to watch All Saints Day 3 like they're being pulled in on a line

-

Oh dear, they're bonding.

Davy isn't usually on top of these things but he's channeling a lot of Edlund today and Edlund always had these sort of guys like Andy or Aaron who are so Dean's type in a harmless shared interests and getting stoned together way. This is a bit extreme with the guy's tininess and scruffiness but you know, we'll see how this develops, if it's an accidental twins or a missed connections soulmate dealio.

... You're taking to someone who's still bitter that Andy and Dean would have been perfect together, so.

-

Also this New Dean guy is demonstrating how to be a Good Fan - he may be as intensely nerdy as Stuart, but he and Dean can compare movies and even though they don't share a favourite, agree that the whole series is great and can see the merits both in each other's favourites, and in another movie that isn't either of their favourites but could be if they happened to be inclined that way.

So healthy :')

-

"It was always nice to check out. I like watching movies where I KNOW the bad guy's going to lose"

Ow ow ow. But yeah, there's Dean's pro-Halloween rationale, that the tropeyness of the genre has its comforts that every ridiculous horror thing is entirely safe and no one is ACTUALLY going to get eaten by any of these things. Which is also how normal people enjoy horror but at the metaphorical remove of being scared by things we may not literally meet but still represent anxieties we might have in our real lives.

Catharsis, yo

-

Sam barges in on New Sam to ask her the usual series of increasingly weird questions which get the "are you really insurance?" eyebrows.

"Downtown Salem" - are they in Salem as in the witch hunt one?

-

I kinda love how New Sam is talking with a speech bubble beside her. So meta.

-

I think New Dean is called Dirk.

-

Oops Stuart wasn't one of the co-owners because he kept getting fired for stealing D: Stuart, dude.

-

"And you hired Stuart back?" "he's my friend"

I think there is commentary appearing here about not just Stuart's unhealthy explosive rage, but that the people around him enable it - even Jordan fired him TWICE rather than banish him forever. The cycle of coddling him without encouraging him to change... Again, this speaks rather more of season 10 and a critique of Sam n Cas from there rather than much currently ongoing with Dean. Sam was complicit in originally abducting Kaia and he and Jody didn't move to stop Dean with Bad Kaia, so though it's in the focus as a critique on Dean's reactions, I feel like the real bad cycles were in Carver era. Though the behaviour still somewhat exists in Dabb era, the overall unhealthiness has declined so much, there isn't a constant oppresive blanket of it as there is here in this shop with Stuart being so awful to everyone and self-destructive.

(It's probably also not a coincidence that this thing has latched onto Dean as well, a la 4x06 I'd guess... Sam got no ghost vibes in the basement, Dean did, and was attacked... To me this is seeming to suggest that his current state has picked up the ghost's ire in the same way in 4x06 he was vulnerable. Loops and loops of things going on so I'll unpick that later if it does turn out to be the case clearly.)

Anyway. This seems to be more about destructive cycles and abusive dynamics, and I would hope a nudge for Dean, though his exile at the start of this episode also suggests to me he knew full well after threatening Kaia that he'd overreacted and needed to take 5, even if there was also a layer of sulking until news of Michael. Her call out was clear enough to make him self-reflect. So I would hope that this episode is here to try and steer Dean's reaction through various pathways, ideally to keep him from falling into anything too awful, as a reminder of where this may lead?

-

Sam sees the glass case freeze over, and pulls out the EMF, playing it off and being like "nothing... carbon monoxide detector" even as New Sam is understandably a little freaked.

Is this messing with Sam's refusal to tell Jess about monsters by having him keep the truth from New Sam until she's physically endangered?

-

I mean, carbon monoxide in enough quantities to make the blatantly homemade gadget go "WHEEE" and light up every single LED is a good enough reason to flee the room

-

"I think you're in danger -" Sam is smacked around the head by Hatchetman because he delayed too long and now he has been knocked out

-

"Samantha?" Sam determined not to let New Sam out-Sam him

-

I mean if she is you then she has been knocked out

-

How does this keep happening to you

how much head trauma has Cas healed over the years?

This is why they have to keep him an angel...

-

"Is this expensive?" "Wha - no don't!" *BOING* *silence* "yeeeah it's shatterproof glass"

HA

-

If Jordan really just wants to kill Stuart for getting them a 1 star Yelp review then this also has a weird shade of 11x07 where the ghost was getting revenge and took a few attempts to kill that one guy, eventually succeeding as the clown.

Except the clown was tuned to freak Sam out

and Dean's probably gonna be thrilled to fight Hatchetman

-

Dean having movie night with new Dean (probably stoned but we can't see it) with comatose Stuart in the middle

incredible

-

2 dudes watching horror movies 5 feet apart with a comatose guy in the middle because they aren't gay

-

Dean is thrilled to fight Hatchetman

I feel like this can't last

-

Davy throws in a gratuitous Halloween moment of Hatchetman walking through the park which is just bedecked in Halloween nonsense

no one cares about him wandering around because it's Halloween

It does make you wonder just HOW much nonsense happening on Halloween really is monsters and stuff out there enjoying themselves because it's expected, which, again, like Sam n Dean dressing up as nerds for this whole episode, having monsters mixing with regular folk and being treated as equals is literally the whole Halloween thing. There's less threat than in 4x07 because we're assuming at this point in the episode that the ghost does have a pretty one-track mind about killing Stuart because with all the characterising nonsense filling the episode the actual plot has been pretty sparse considering we're getting to the final 10 minute run now. So, yeah. This Hatchetman ghost is just out there being a part of the festivities, because that's what happens on Halloween, man

-

LOL And like Sam not telling his double until it was too late, Dean gets this call and is really open in answering in front of new Dean, and now he's filling in New Dean on everything instead of trying to get him to leave or protect him not just from the monster but from knowing about it at all.

-

Davy like, hey, remember when ghosts used to do loads of freaky stuff on this show just to be scary? And maybe it seemed like you all were getting bored of it or something, but hey this guy has no idea after 14 years that he shouldn't leave the salt line when everything starts thumping in the room despite having been warned the ghost is coming...

-

Hehehe Dean gets an axe... The moment of him going to smash it then not and checking if it's open... Whether that was improv or not, it's a good character thing in the sense that Dean is being encouraged not to smash first and ask questions later by the meta plot of the episode

-

Omg New Dean is as brave as our Dean in some ways... He sees Babs in trouble, and immediately is like "HEY" and starts confronting Jordon in Hatchetman

-

"He's MY friend. He's OUR friend." That's an interesting take on my/our, because that statement works on both levels - both that Dirk is protective of Stuart because he cares about him, but also that Jordan has his own investment in not killing Stuart that he should remember. In terms of emotional appeal, the first is confrontational while the second is the deep appeal to the ghost.

Filed in the deep deep deep deep deep flips of the crypt scenes, this moment demonstrates about 3 different kinds of flips, while still holding true to possessing thing out of its right mind confronting loved one

-

Omg the hospital security guards watching the Hatchetman chase a damsel through the hospital while New Dean is chased through THEIR hospital. Talk about dramatic irony and a whole commentary on the metaness of Dabb era in the story reversals and extractions to new levels and repurposing of scenes and narratives...

-

And despite it playing out scene by scene, the guards are laughing at the bad dialogue and pointing out how Hatchetman is so slow, so how can he even catch them, while the damsel slows herself down and badly fakes a trip so that he can catch up to her...

-

"We killed you! You're dead!" "We all do bad things sometimes"

And there we get the context for the cool quote the Hatchetman model can recite - just as how in fandom often things are quoted out of context as lines which seem emotional or special but are actually awful. Just for starters, all the Sam n Dean fans using "there aint no me if there aint no you" when Dean didn't even SAY that. Now we see the context of this line, we see that while Hatchetman really isn't deep, he's at least not just saying it to sound cool and talk about himself, he's judging the protagonist for her behaviour, as well as invoking relative morality. Which brings up some interesting ideas about what Hatchetman considers good and evil, in regards to seeming to have a concept of it but not including kill himself as a good thing to do. Obviously completely wild in context but in the philosophical language of the show, the nature of monsters and all is one huge question, along with if Sam and Dean are murderers themselves, and of course how they have done bad things for good reasons and vice versa.

-

Also I think Sam is about to blow up the door?

-

"I had a messed up childhood" he says, about to blow up a vintage SCOOBY DOO lunchbox to freedom.

SAMMY. Stop destroying symbols of childhood.

At least he's talking freely to New Sam about himself, which is probably already more than he ever let on to Jess. He really wanted to pretend to be well-adjusted to her, that he probably, like, would have rather waited for a locksmith with her than just pick the door to their apartment if they were locked out, you know?

-

RIP Scooby Doo.

-

"Cool" they both say, and share a smile.

It's probably weird to ship Sam and Sam just because the shipname is Sam

-

Dirk went to hide in the fucking Morgue

well done

-

Okay I need the security guards back to comment on how the fuck Hatchetman knew New Dean would come to the morgue with enough time to beat him there AND cover himself in a sheet and play dead.

-

Also before that happened Dean grabbed New Dean by the correct shoulder, and made him jump but aw don't worry it's just your new best friend.

-

Ghost Jordan is still a fucking nerd even in death because rather than talk to them, he presses the button to summon a catchphrase

It's good to know some things never change even when you are a murderous shell of your former self.

-

UGH SIGH DAVY ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO DO THIS TO ME?

(The director might also be to blame)

So now they are cobbling together a fake trailer for Hatchetman, using footage from the show

That is to say, Hatchetman is set on Oct. 31st, 1983, or, of course, 2 days before Azazel ruined everything.

I'm not sure if this shot is from the show because we have so few Halloween episodes that an exterior shot with Halloween elements would have to be faked up, but the house looks very much like the old Winchester house, but with a bigger porch and more dramatic features. It does, however, strongly feature the tree branch shadows over the appropriate wall to make it look exactly like the opening shot of their story, while this is the opening shot of the Hatchetman story.

"David Jaeger was an honest man making an honest living" *generic shot of something being worked on*

*shot of the back of John Winchester's head walking into his garage in 5x13 to discover his boss out cold because Anna is about to attempt to murder him, said boss hilariously visible in the shot if you know he's there*

So. That happened :P Hatchetman is John. That ain't subtle if you recognise the back of his head in a split second. Even if you don't they're casting him as a car mechanic which is of course directly connected to Dean and John.

"Until one night when a practical joke turned deadly"

*footage of the wife spectre-rage killing her husband in the cold open of 8x06 because she was still pissed he slept with someone else on prom night*

I think the burning vehicle was the car from 10x13 that Sam and Dean burned early in the episode, where it was violently reminiscent of them burning the memory of John for some meta reason I can't remember at the time, but definitely inspired a lot of frantic fandom typing.

Of course the ghost in that episode was the classic ragey vengeance ghost which was blatantly paralleled to the path Dean was on with the Mark of Cain, complete with being crypt scened out of it by a trenchcoat-wearing widow.

They're implying he was then burned alive and left for dead and I don't recognise the footage of the burned feet but I assume they're from some episode or another.

Anyway then they go to more new footage from the "actual" hatchetman movies. This one is set on Nov. 1st so it's not even a "Halloween" movie but ACTUALLY All Saint's Day (All Hallow's Eve being what Hallowe'en is a corruption of), Nov. 1 being of course a meta nod to the fact the episode is not even airing on Halloween but Davy just really really really really wanted his halloween episode so shut up and enjoy it :P

Oh, it's All Saints Day III The Reckoning. Because of course it's a reckoning. That's all that happens in Dabb era, reckonings.

-

I am so upset.... I made a joke about 5x05 waaay back, and now it's true because of the whole random thing about Dean's random Axe that was John's that Paris Hilton was going to use to Reckoning him but then Sam murderered her before she could. Now Dean's being reckoned.

-

Okay Dean is a lil dark right now but his come at me bro of "I was hoping you'd say that" and the preceding speech is incredible. I can't believe this show has Jensen except that I CAN believe that with Jensen we go 14 seasons because FUCK he's scary and intense when he wants to be.

-

But he delivered that chilling speech and then had the ghost use a red button to talk to him and then was badass at it

I mean

he can put the terror into ANY situation

-

I am a hysterical laugher, I could not have stood where Dean stood in that moment and taken Hatchetman seriously, even under threat of mortal peril. I once nearly got expelled for hysterical laughing over an untied shoelace that started a rapidly spiralling incident.

-

I love the new fight guy

I love how Dean is spoiling for a fight, and really enjoying how he can push back against this ghost, in a really, really scary way. But in a cold way, not the red hot Mark of Cain way he was dark last time. He's grinning and enjoying this nerdy ass fight, but it's got a vicious streak.

-

I especially love the choreography of Dean smashing Hatchetman around the head with clashes in time to the music followed by an elevator ding as Sam and New Sam emerge in the next scene.

Poetic cinema

-

New Sam guesses the key thing for ghost attachment and Old Sam is impressed.

Careful buddy, they're lining you up for replacement.

-

Dean seems not to have won this fight with the Hatchetman. I bet if Stuart was awake he'd have some useful advice for how anyone could beat him in a fight but especially Stuart, if they knew the correct thing to do.

-

New Dean saved Old Dean! Maybe we can teamwork distract the Hatchetman and win together. Possibly this is a metaphor for... working with yourself...

Is it foreshadowing for a fight later in the season of plot significance, just like in 11x07 Sam got beat up by a clown in a cage, as a not too subtle metaphor for Lucifer? I'd love an in Dean's head kinda nonsense with Mikey.

-

"Dean, key chain!"

TEAMWORK BROS ARE THE BEST BROS

-

New Sam chips in for her part with fuel for the fire.

Everyone high five the Sam or Dean/Dirk to your left

-

Oh, COOL effect of a ghostly spirit burning out of a model Hatchetman, who is unscatched by the ordeal

-

I mean, good, he's probably a really expensive collectible

-

He falls over with a thud, and goes out on a warbling "time to slice and diiiiiiiii" much like "I clobber evil" died on the fire with a last gutteral noise.

Hopefully bookending each other in terms of models with representations in their voices that haunt Dean and all.

-

Dean, unprompted, thanks Sam for getting him out of his funk and giving him an easy ghost hunt to win. I guess what 13x05 was supposed to be is what this actually turned out to be.

(Honestly, giving Davy episodes post-drama to let us all unwind is turning out to be an extremely good idea with 13x06 as well)

-

I am MAJORLY concerned about the time stamp on this episode. It better end in a few seconds and go to a full 3 minute trailer for Hell Hazers III or else.

-

"It was awesome!" "it wasn't really," says Sam, who burst into the room in time to see his brother pinned and choking

-

Sam moves on to confronting Dean with the concept of not just hiding in his room when they get back.

He gives Dean the "OI, CHEER UP" talk we've all been yelling at the screen. Good. Good Sammy.

Dean turns to the camera. "I'm never going to get over it. I'm just not."

Look, Sam, just because Dean stabbed Lucifer for you, and now you are sleeping without fear, doesn't mean everyone has that luxury :P

-"

elizabethrobertajones Oh dear, there's still 4 minutes left er I guess I keep watching .... *grimaces nervously*

mittensmorgul :D just watch it in context with the rest of the episode

elizabethrobertajones um what I didn't get far enough into what happens next to know what you mean so that's super ominous Sam is still psychoanalysing Dean in car NOW yo uhave me REALLY worried.

Hey, remember how I started this episode with a vague warning from Mittens? Why am I now getting the feeling that I still haven't watched whatever that was about?

-

"I'm not doing any good cooped up in my room. So whatever you need, I'm there." ("Chief"?)

-

"Alright, Chief?"

Oh, man. I'm turning into Dean.

-

Also Dean appears to have, finally, ceded power over to Sam. Again, the reversals of season 10 - Sam was put in this position of power he just was not ready to cope with and not with the stakes that were laid against him. But here, Dean might be driving the car but he's putting all the real power into Sam's hands.

-

elizabethrobertajones Is it why Sam hates Halloween because Dean turns out to have set an alarm on his watch to remind him to bug Sam about it again the intrigue you have spun is starting to get to me more than actually watching the episode :P

mittensmorgul oh gosh, I should've just kept my mouth shut. It was seriously just an innocent comment for a nice BM scene :P

-

I am more horrified about the concept of Sam telling an embarrassing story than I am about any amount of slasher and gore. Look, I can Not handle social squickiness and I love Sam and that is going to make this extremely hard to hear.

Dean's gonna love it though, I can tell.

-

Please. Protect. Sammy.

-

"It was soooo bad" he says with a haunted look of a man who has been tortured by the devil

-

Andrea's party got there first

-

"Next year, we're doing halloween right"

Oh no, don't you dare start talking like you're going to be alive and ready for a party next year, Dean Winchester. I will perish in your place to make it happen.

-

BAHAHA Dean coming up with matching outfits and suggests Bert and Ernie, before rejecting that one as too weird.

Yeah, you might not remember but we do

We are never going to let you live it down, in fact.

-

Also, listen, his mouth runs miles ahead of his brain, that was not suggestive until he realised it was and backtracked

-

You also can't go as Shaggy and Scooby unless you go to a party WITH them and they go as you and Sam

-

Thelma and Louise... Dean, stop.

Okay it's hilarious that Davy managed to get both Bert and Ernie and Thelma and Louise into this like... somewhere riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight deep down Dean's consciousness is putting things together. It doesn't remember half the shit he says, but like. Hey. Why ARE those two sets of on screen pairs connected, huh, Dean?

-

Oh, whatever, he's just trying to annoy Sam now

-

Nyoooom

-

IT'S THE SECURITY GUARD

RUN, MAN, RUN

-

Ew, I left it playing to type that and it told me to watch Legacies

-

Well that was the one wrong note in this whole episode so I suppose something had to happen like that :P

[minimonojoon]

drabble 01 | pjm

g e n r e: angsty. p a i r i n g: idol!jimin x reader. w o r d s: 1482. p r o m p t: “goodbye kiss” taken from this list. w a r n i n g s: none. a / n: I wrote this last night and rushly edited this morning, so sorry for whatever mistake you’ll find. I wanted to post something as I’m currently writing a bigger fic, which is turning into a personal challenge for me👀. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little drabble! xx

Airports give you goosebumps.

Usually, it’s the good kind of goosebumps. Your blood runs faster with adrenaline whenever you enter airports, baggage in hand and smile on your face. The sound of trolleys’ wheels on the ground, the chatting of people speaking languages you never heard of – it excites you to the point you can’t stop jumping around here and there, rushing to go on the line for your plane and the protocol controls they made.

To most of the people out there, taking a plane is a stressful experience and sometimes, even awful. You can’t say you hadn’t your fair share of those uncomfortable situations, where you risked arriving late and missing your flight, or simply having to wake up to ungodly hours to take a damn plane. But it was never something you perceived negatively.

Today, however, it is marked as an exception.

There isn’t any goosebumps on your skin, nor the marvelous expression you make whenever you realize the airport is somewhere people just pass by and you watch them in awe, picturing where they go and why. Today, the airport is just a place where people’s bustling and running from and for everywhere, too scared of not arriving in time for their flight, annoys you in a way you could never imagine. You watch passengers fighting on the phone because they baggage were lost and families who part for god knows how long. The sight of a mother adjusting her son’s jacket with shaky hands and lips pressured together to contain her tears and sobs, has your breath itched. The frightening sensation of tears coming to wet your eyes hunts you and you do everything in your willpower to suppress it, desperately fluttering your eyelashes.

It’s only the tugging on your hand that distracts you and you feel the warm fingers intertwined with yours squeezing your tiny hand in a comforted grip.

You lift your gaze to watch your boyfriend, his blond hair completely covered by a black cap. The sole thing you can see right now are his dark eyes, which reflect your same sentiment of falling apart – but you picture a smile under the black fabric of his mask, the way it crinkles around his mouth. This is one of the reason why you love and hate Jimin; being able to be strong whenever it is needed and acting as everything is okay, even when it’s clearly not it’s both a bless and curse for you. It shows you how much strong he is, but at the same time he makes himself unreachable for you, prohibiting you to comfort him as well.

You smile back, following him to the gates where passengers are lining up, waiting to pass the usual controlling operations. “Did you take everything? I know you tend to forget your toothbrush, dummy,” you start, stopping beside a closed shop, in a more secluded spot. The thundering of your heart is now strong enough that you can hear it, as your voice quivers a little. You’re not even able to look at him in the eyes.

“I did, yeah. But I’ll take another one to add it to my collection when I come back,” he tries to lighten the mood, chuckling mildly. You hum a laugh, uncapable to really enjoying how he jokes about your personal collection of toothbrush, always bought in some stores across the world or taken away from hotels he stays in during concert or promotion period. You move closer to him, until your cheek touches his shoulder. This is not the first time he goes away, yet this one in particular has put you under an emotional rollercoaster.

Maybe because you will not see each other for probably more than six months.

“Call me or text me when you arrive. And don’t forget to eat. I recommended Tae to watch over you.” You blurt the words with a dreading scowl, interrupting the silence established between the two of you, looking at him in the eyes to show how serious you are. The way your brows are furrowed and your lips form that adorable pout make Jimin watching you with adoration and longing, simply nodding to your words. He isn’t able to form a cocky reply as he’d have usually done, not this time.

“You better study and work hard, okay? I want you to finally have that degree. You deserve that.” He affirms determinedly, suddenly cupping your cheeks. You watch him with wide eyes, biting your bottom lip to contain your tears. You feel an enormous lump on your throat and you try to gulp multiples times, uselessly.

You take a deep, shaky breath, gripping his coat with your small hands. You want this moment to never end, prolonging it as much as possible. “I’ll miss you so much, Jimin,” you stutter, as you realize he soon needs to go. He might be arriving late to the gate and you can’t let that happen, not when he purposely asked his manager to let him go a day after the rest of boys have gone to their first big city of their worldwide tour, just to stay with you. You choke a sob that threatens to leave your lips.

“I’ll miss you, too,___.”

He places his mask below his chin, so you can now see his face. His eyes are watery as yours, you notice. It’s almost comically the way you two try to smile to each other but failing miserably. You try to joke on that, when Jimin’s eyes closes briefly and his face draws near yours, until his lips are gently brushing yours. Your breath falters at the delicate touch, as this is your very first kiss and not the last in the next long months.

It’s just a matter of seconds though, before you decide to press firmly yet gently your lips on his, sealing them in a proper kiss.

Your heart suddenly burst in a thundering storm, pulsing violently as the thought that you will not be able to touch him like this for longer than you ever imagined hits you. It has your arms sliding across his shoulders and your feet to lift so that you can mold your body to his. You feel his stronger arms clasping your middle as his hands alt in the expanse of your back, as he also desires to never separate from you and to embed you forever.

In that moment, everything is casted away. The noises of the outside are a faint sound in the background, as you focus on the sensation the kiss you’re sharing with Jimin crash you like a wave of the ocean. It’s like you are in your own little bubble, excluding the rest of the world from it. Your chest blooms with love and affection for the boy in your arms, as your part your lips to let him search your tongue to deepen the kiss. Your hands caress the strands on the back of his neck, tugging slightly on them. You don’t want to let go, now nor never. It’s childish and egoistic, but you don’t want leave him.

That’s why, after what felt like interminable minutes passed too fast, you whine when Jimin detaches from you, chuckling before pressing his nose to yours and then in the crook of your neck, inhaling your delicate and flowery scent. The words “don’t go” are on the tip of your tongue, but you don’t voice them. Yet you seem to not let your grip on his coat loosen and that’s why Jimin has to calmly place his hands above yours.

“I need to go, love,” Jimin whispers, as these words wounded him the moment he let them out. He lovingly brushes his thumbs on the back of your hands in a soothing way before you finally let go, sighing dejectedly.

“See you in six months, then,” you snivel, wiping a tear from your cheek. He simply nods, before he goes in for another kiss. This time, Jimin just press his lips over yours in a sweet, innocent way, like he’s going out for practice or to the groceries store near your apartment. Not far away from you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, hon.”

You wave your hand, eyes puffy and red as you carefully watch him lining up with other people, sniffing. It’s only when Jimin is nearly at the corner of the line that he turns to you one last time. He settles his mask below his chin again, smiling reassuringly. He sends you a flying kiss this time and you can’t help but chuckle as your cheeks burn red returning the gesture. You bless this century for technology, devices and apps for once. As you watch your boyfriend vanish, following the line, you start walking back to the main entrance.

You can’t wait to go back here to welcome him again.