#mike dodds and reader

[agender-wolfie]

When you’re reading a fic that says it’s gender neutral but then “You wore a short skirt and tied up your hair”

[teamhappyme]

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

aka the four times you save mike dodds + the one time he saves you

mike dodds x female!reader

word count: 9.3k

a/n: me? keeping mike dodds alive and well in every universe? absolutely. a good old fashioned 4+1 for you folks! this was another labor of love that has been years in the making because I could never string enough good things together - until I did! it's not my best, but it's one of my favorites, and i love writing for this guy! it's a niche character, but one near and dear to my heart. (I refuse to give up my Taylor swift lyric titles so fight me)

****

The first time you saved Mike Dodds, it was from the awful coffee in the squad room. 

It was his first week with SVU, and, let’s just say, everyone is adjusting. He stepped over you while getting the victim’s disclosure, he pursued a lead not pertaining to the disclosure without telling Liv, and to top it all off, Rollins’ sister was behind the whole situation. 

So, it’s been a tense week for everyone. 

After Kim was remanded to Rikers, and Amanda was released from the hospital, everyone could let out a sigh of relief.

You were wrapping up some paperwork in the squad room after getting back from the courthouse, Liv talking with the chief in her office. You could only assume the accolades he was giving his son, while Liv just had to sit there and bite her tongue. You don’t envy the position she’s in right now.

To keep your eyes open a little longer, you made your way to the breakroom to grab a soda. Much to your surprise, you found the sarge at the coffee machine, ready to pour a heaping cup of old coffee.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you,” You warned him as you fed a dollar to the vending machine, pressing for a coke to come out. “I guarantee it’s been sitting there since this morning, maybe even last night.”

He nodded, placing the styrofoam cup back on the table. “Thanks for warning me. I’m pretty sure everyone else would’ve let me suffer the consequences.”

“Rollins and Fin would’ve watched the whole thing, but Carisi would’ve ran in to save you. We’re not too fond of perpetuating the newbie pranks, especially on a sergeant.”

You offered him the coke once it came out of the machine, and he took it, giving you a nod of gratitude. He didn’t open it right away, taking a few seconds to fiddle with the tab. 

He looked up at you, looking quite defeated for the confident man that walked in here three days ago. “I’m not trying to step on any toes here, detective.”

“Dodds,” You started, but he cut you off. 

Again.

“I’m the new guy, the new second in command here, and I understand that it’s going to take some time for you guys to warm up to me,”

“Dodds.” You held your arm out in front of you, hoping he would stop talking. “First things first, stop interrupting me.”

He had a sheepish grin, and hung his head. 

“SVU isn’t like the rest of the department. It’s not as simple as getting the statement, arresting the perp, and going to trial. We have to connect with the victim, make sure they feel safe and supported enough to tell their story. And most importantly, we listen to Liv. She gives a masterclass everyday in being an SVU cop.” You paused for a second, taking another look at him. Of course he looked defeated, the welcome into special victims is never an easy one. “Listen, we’ve all been in your shoes. There’s a learning curve, and it takes a minute to get there, but you will. You’ve got good instincts, you’ve got the rank to prove it. You’ve just got to think in another way now.”

You saw the chief exit Liv’s office, and heard the dejected sigh leave Dodds’ mouth.

“I’m not worried about the learning curve. I know I have a lot to learn. What I’m worried about is not being taken seriously.” You looked over at him, and saw that he was locked on his father’s figure, following him out of the precinct. “I know everyone’s worried that I’m the boss’s son, thinking they have to watch themselves around me. But I’m not his puppet, and I’m not here to report back to him. What happens at SVU, stays at SVU.”

“I appreciate that.” He gave you a pointed look, not sure whether or not to believe you, but you only smiled. “Listen, we’re all straight shooters here. I’m not worried about who your father is or how you got this position. Everyone deserves a fair chance, and after these last few days with you, I think you’ll be just fine here.”

Honestly, you were never worried about his placement here. Sure, the rest of the squad was a little suspicious, and maybe gave him a hard time, but he’ll learn his place. And hopefully, they’ll see this guy, honest and vulnerable, instead of the shadow of his father the next time they look at him.

“Thank you. I know you could’ve chewed my head off after that disclosure, so I appreciate your patience.”

You laughed while moving back to the vending machine, getting a coke for yourself this time.

“It was your one free pass.”

“Technically two, since you saved me from the burnt coffee.” He added, walking back to the bullpen. 

“Yeah, next time I’ll let you drink it.”

****

The second time you saved Mike Dodds was after the Lily Evans case. 

It was never easy losing a kid, no matter how many years you have on the job. After three months with the unit, he felt like he hit his stride.

All until today.

It was late when Dodds and Liv came back from the Evans house, looking particularly jaded after informing the grieving parents they closed the case. 

It was business as usual for the next thirty minutes, paperwork was finished, a celebratory job well done for solving something in a timely manner. And just like that, we move onto the next one.

Once Liv emerged from her office, the rest of the squad started to pack up. 

“You going to see Amanda?” Fin asked.

“Yeah, I thought I’d stop by.”

“You know what, she’s been living off takeout. How about we all go up there, and I’ll cook us a real meal.” Carisi interrupted the Lieutenant, Fin in agreement to eat some real Italian food.

The smile on your face was automatic, loving the small moments in your day where there was a little room for happiness. 

“Hey Sergeant, you wanna join us?” You all looked to Dodds, slouched in his chair, the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. 

You’ve all been there before.

“Uh, rain check. Paperwork.” He sat up straighter in his chair, pulling a random file from his desk.

You exchanged a look with Carisi before setting your things back on your desk. 

“I’ll meet you guys up there. And don’t let Fin eat all the garlic bread,” you teased, trying to keep the happy moment alive.  

Once the rest of the squad left, you walked back over to Dodds desk. He continued to comb through the files on his desk, pretending to look busy.

“I know being a Sergeant is a big deal, but there’s no way you’ve accumulated this much paperwork since you’ve been here.”

“Well with all the joy rides you and Carisi go on, you’d be surprised how quickly those car change requests pile up.”

He said with a smile, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. 

“As appealing as that pile of paperwork may be, it’s got nothing on a home cooked Carisi meal. So,” you paused, giving him the opportunity to speak first if he wanted. 

He didn’t.

“Why are you beating yourself up over this case?”

“Lily Evans could still have been alive when we first got to her parents house. If I had taken this seriously, we could’ve got to her and maybe she’d be alive right now.”

“Sarge,”

“And I know I should have listened to Liv, she’s got this down to a science. But I just wanted to-“

“Dodds, what did I say about interrupting me?” You chided, and he held his hands out to you in surrender. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but she was gone the moment she got in the van. It’s not easy to accept that at first, but some of these cases, you have to believe it if you want to get through it.”

“I thought it was going to be an easy transition to SVU. Major Crimes was high stress, kidnappings, negotiations, terrorism, all while having the eyes of the media and the city on you.” He shook his head. “I thought I was doing okay. I was listening to the Lieutenant, I was really learning from her, from all of you really. I thought I was bringing something to the table. But Lily, she was just a kid.”

You placed your bag down on the floor, moving to sit in the chair next to his desk.

“My second case with SVU was the Johnny D take down. I transferred from Brooklyn Homicide, so I thought I’d seen it all. Until I walked into that basement, and found four teenagers and kids locked in that basement as sex slaves. I threw up as soon as we got out of the basement, just barely missed Rollins. I couldn’t sleep for the next week, and when I finally cracked, Liv was there to center me. She reminded me why we did this job, of all the people we help, despite the most gruesome cases we catch. It takes a special cop to work in SVU, and you don’t stick it out, you don’t feel this guilt if you’re not cut out for it.”

He looked at you for a few seconds, not saying anything as he took your words in.

“How do you get up and come back to work every day?” He asked and let out a long breath.

“I took Liv’s advice: go home, talk to someone you love, and don’t make this job your whole life. Easier said than done.” You said with a laugh and he joined in. “But you’ve got your dad, he’s been on the job your whole life. He knows what it’s like.”

“He’s not really the talking type. And I’ve never… failed at something before. He expects a lot out of me here, and I want to prove to him that I’m cut out for this.”

“You’re not failing here, Dodds. Trust me, you’d be hearing an earful from Rollins and Fin if you were. I’m actually really impressed with how you’ve adjusted. We’re not an easy squad to assimilate to.”

“You can call me Mike,” he started, a small smile on his face. 

You felt your cheeks get warm, and you hoped to god they weren’t bright red. 

“Okay, Mike. Then pack up your stuff, cause you’re going to eat the best Chinese food of your life tonight.”

“What about Carisi’s fantastic meal?” He joked as he closed whatever files were open and shrugged his coat on.

“He’ll understand. Now come on, we don’t want them to run out of egg rolls before we get there.”

“Alright, alright,” he joked, running to catch up to you. You waited in silence for the elevator, and you felt a shift in the dynamic between you two. A good shift, one that happens when you finally earn the trust of your partner. 

Mike spoke your name as you stepped into the elevator, and you looked over at him.

“Thank you for listening. It means a lot, to know that you have my back, in the field and otherwise.”

You smiled, gently clapping his shoulder as you responded, “Anytime you need an ear, I’m there. You’ve got a squad of incredible listeners surrounding you now. All we ask is the same in return.”

“You’ve got it.” He added without hesitation.

Mike Dodds was going to be just fine here in SVU.

****

The next time you saved Mike Dodds wasn’t exactly your finest moment.

Mike accompanied you to Gary Munson’s house on what was supposed to be a quiet Sunday afternoon. But after a call from his wife Lisa, saying she was finally ready to leave, your Sergeant graciously offered to accompany you to the house.

No one wanted to be back in the presence of Gary Munson, the rogue corrections officer accused of assaulting dozens of female inmates. The case hadn’t even gone to trial yet and it was already causing a lot of tension in the department, not to mention the DA’s office.

“Dragging me out on a Sunday is pretty cruel, even for you Detective.” Mike commented as you walked up to the Munson house. “I smell egg rolls and fried rice in the near future.”

“Hey, I paid last time. It’s not my fault you have a bleeding heart almost as big as mine and agreed to come along.” You said with a grin as you knocked on the front door.

Dodds had been at SVU just shy of a year now, and since the Lily Evan’s case it sort of became tradition to celebrate the closing of a case with that same greasy Chinese food. Even as the cases took longer to close, the two of you could be found there at least twice a week. It became your place, somewhere to meet when it was two a.m. and a case was keeping one of you awake; on a Saturday afternoon when the two of you had nothing better to do with the time off work; and of course, as a reward for helping each other out whenever they asked.

You waited for a minute before knocking on the door again as Mike walked around to the side yard.

“She calls and says she’s ready to leave, and when we get here there’s no answer?”

“What was her exit plan?” Mike asked, joining you back on the steps.

Before you could answer, Lisa opened the front door.

“Hi,” she began, “sorry for keeping you guys waiting.”

“Is everything okay?” You asked, attempting to take one foot in the door when Gary stepped out into view.

“Everything’s fine here.” He answered for his wife, her body stiffening at his voice.

“Mr. Munson, we're here at your wife’s request.”

“I… overreacted when I called you guys. We’re handling things.”

“That’s good to hear. So, you don’t mind if we come in?” Mike asked, trying to get some control of the situation.

“Do I need to call my lawyer?”

“We’re not here to talk about the case.”

“Oh right, you’re here because Lisa wants to leave me. Forgive me, I’m just a big, dumb CO.”  Gary commented as you shared a look with Dodds. 

He was already spiraling.

“Mr. Munson, we don”t want any trouble.”

“Great,” he replied, opening the door further for you to enter. “Neither do I.”

Lisa let out a deep breath as you entered the house behind her. You watched as Gary talked to their kids, trying to convince them everything was normal, but they were too smart for it.

“Why don’t I go upstairs with her and start to pack.” Lisa suggested as she moved towards the stairs, motioning you to follow.

“No.” He commanded back, causing you both to freeze. “She can stay down here with the kids. You go up.”

This was going to be the power struggle of all power struggles. You walked over to sit with the kids as Mike and Gary went into the kitchen. You exchanged another look with him, and he gave you a small nod. It was okay.

The kids slipped their headphones on as you tried to listen in on the conversation in the kitchen, but you couldn’t hear much. You took out your phone to text Liv, a gut feeling telling you this wasn’t going to end easy or as you planned.

You waited for a few more minutes as Lisa packed a bag for her and the kids before coming back down the stairs.

“Alright, Tommy, Annie, backpacks.” She handed her children their bags as they hugged their dad goodbye.

“Ok kids, let’s go,” you started, trying to shuffle them and Lisa out the door.

“Wait, I don’t get a goodbye hug from Mommy?” Gary asked, now cornering Lisa on the stairs. “Isn’t that the jacket I bought you for your birthday?”

“Okay, we’re going to go now,” you ushered the kids onto the stoop, still keeping one foot in the house as you saw Lisa throw her jacket on the floor.

In one motion, he grabbed Lisa off the stairs, pulled a gun from his waistband, and slammed the front door in your face, kicking you onto the step.

“Gary! Open the door!” You yelled out as you got to your feet, banging on the door. “Right now Gary! Open the door!”

After thirty more seconds of incessant knocking with no response, you turned to find the kids huddled together on the sidewalk.

“Ok guys, it’s okay. My sergeant is just going to talk to your parents for a couple more minutes. While we wait, can you go into your nice neighbors house until I come get you?” You noticed the older woman two houses down standing on the stoop, a young girl and a dog with her.

You walked the kids over quickly while calling this in over the radio. You checked your phone to see Liv had answered your earlier text, and that she was already on her way for backup. She should have just come along in the first place.

Instead of going back up the front steps, you ducked under the bay window to try and get a look inside the house. You could see Munson holding Lisa in a headlock, his gun pointed at Mike as he handed over his own guns.

“Shit,” you breathed out, knowing this was going to end with a gunshot from someone.

You backed away from the window and called Mike, hoping to god that you could try and talk Munson out of this before any patrols showed up.

“Detective, you’re on speaker.” Mike said when he answered, the sigh you let out when you heard his voice was a little too loud.

“Dodds, what’s going on in there? The kids are asking for their mom.”

“Tell them she’s not going anywhere.” Gary piped in, his voice beginning to shake.

“I’ve told Gary that we can talk this through, get him what he wants, what he needs.”

“That’s right, I’m here, listening to you, my Sergeant is listening. Do you want me to call a family member, or your union rep?”

“No, I’m done talking. I want you to get my kids somewhere safe, that is all I need. Now, hang up the phone.”

“Mr. Munson-“ the line went dead before you could finish.

“Dammit,” you ran your hands through your hair, trying to think of a way to slow this down. You ran to the back door, then to the storm door, both locked. He had planned this from the moment he came home. This is always how this was going to end.

Back at the front of the house, you saw Liv pulling up and you ran to meet her.

“What’s going on? I got the radio on the way over.”

“Munson’s holding Dodds and Lisa in the house, he’s armed.”

“You didn’t search him?” She asked, and you tried not to take the agitation in her tone personally.

“Lisa told us there were no weapons in the house, we confiscated his piece already. I was getting the kids in the car when all of this went down.”

“Okay. Is anyone hurt?”

“I spoke to Dodds five minutes ago, and they both seemed fine for now. But he doesn’t want to talk anymore.”

You heard the distant sirens, and you could only imagine the escalation Gary was making inside the house.

“Is there another way in?” Liv asked as the first of the patrol cars made their way down the street.

“Back door and storm door are both locked, I haven’t checked for anything else.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

She ran over to the first patrol car, getting ready to set a perimeter around the street and then the house as the rest of ESU began to roll onto the street. Liv kicked it into gear, ordering everyone around and trying to come up with the best plan of action.

It wasn’t until Finn got out of his car that you ran into action to. You began to debrief the hostage negotiators on your last phone call, and to describe Gary’s demeanor through the entire duration of this visit. You stressed to them that he was no longer in the talking mood, but they were still going to try.

“ESU is going to try to plan a route in. You know the layout, what’s the best way in.”

“Fastest and clearest is through the back door. But, Lieutenant, give me two more minutes to find another way in. If I can get in there, one female cop is better than twelve SWAT guys taking him down.” You asked, trying to prove yourself in an attempt to earn her forgiveness quicker.

She thought about it for a moment before slowly nodding her head. 

“You have a minute to sweep the perimeter again for a secondary entrance. Go.”

You wasted no time in running back through the driveway, past the back door and into the backyard. All the shades were drawn except for one cracked piece, giving you a clear shot to the living room. Munson had a tighter grip on Lisa, his gun still pointed at Mike.

You had to get in there. 

The back windows were locked as well as the doors, but you weren’t going to give up. On the side of the house, you noticed the top window opened the slightest bit, and prepared to go in. 

You pulled a lawn chair over to give yourself a boost, and took a deep breath in. The window opened quietly at first, and you could begin to hear Munson’s voice again. Slowly but surely you got the window open in silence, and you swung one leg in to the kitchen.

You froze for a second, stuck without a view of what was going on in the living room, praying no one could hear you. After a few seconds, you swung your other leg in, quickly getting to your feet and grabbing your gun.

“… maybe your lawyer will plea out, 9 out of 10 corrections officers cases don’t make it to trial.” Mike was still trying to talk him out of it, even with a gun to his face.

You peaked around the corner quickly, making sure no one had moved since you looked through the window.

“Munson, drop the gun!” You yelled out as you entered the room, catching him off guard enough for Mike to make a move. 

Lisa slipped out of Gary’s grip and ran over to you as Mike struggled for Munson’s gun. 

“Put it down, Munson!” You yelled out again, but before you could move closer, a shot went off and Mike went down.

Gary froze, putting his arms up as you ran into action. You kicked the gun away from him as SWAT barged in, all guns pointed to Munson.

“Take him.” You yelled out to them as you turned to Mike, finally able to give him your full attention. You knelt down next to him on the floor, watching as he applied pressure to his shoulder. “Hey, can I take a look?”

He nodded, breathing heavily through his nose. You pulled his hand away as blood continued to pour out, but it was a through and through, thank god.

“It’s a clean shot, Mike.” You said as you placed his hand back over the wound, covering your hand with his to apply more pressure. “Hey, stay with me. The medics are on their way in.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” He got out with a grimace as Liv led the medics into the house.

“I wasn’t just going to leave you in here.” 

You moved out of the medics way, your hands covered in Mike’s blood as they treated him.

“He’s right. What the hell were you thinking climbing in through the window without any view?” Liv asked, slightly less agitated than earlier.

“I was thinking I’m the one who left him in here.” Her eyes softened the slightest, the way they always do when she cares for someone. “And I think you would have done the same thing.”

“Careful,” she replied, a small smile crossing her face. “You don’t want to end up like me.”

“There are worse people to be.”

They finished wrapping Mike up, and you two followed him out to the ambulance. 

“Detective,” one of the medics called out to you as they loaded him in. “He’s asking if you can ride along.”

You looked to Liv for approval who gave you a nod.

“Keep us updated.” She added as you hopped in the back of the bus, sending her a thumbs up before they shut the door.

Mike fell asleep almost as soon as he got in the ambulance, but the medic assured you he was stable. He had lost a good amount of blood, but given the position of the shot, they were confident he would be okay.

The surgery was quick, and the doctor said it was a routine procedure. He’s been sleeping and recovering in the ICU for a couple hours, and the rest of the squad would be on their way over once he was awake.

“Detective, he’s awake.” A nurse came out to find you, escorting you to Mike’s room.

He was sitting up straight, arm bandaged from shoulder to elbow, but he looked completely unfazed.

“I come out of a workout class looking worse than you do right now. How is that fair?” You said as you walked into his room.

“Well, I regularly go to the gym, so that helps.” You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to smack him on his bad shoulder.

“Ok, hotshot, we get it.” You let out a breath, taking in his hospital state again. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got shot. I know it was a through and through, but God, it hurt pretty bad.” He said with a laugh, only to grab at his shoulder, moving too fast for his new injury.

You thought about what he said earlier, how you shouldn’t have gone in the house on your own. Maybe he and Liv were right. If you hadn’t gone in, without telling anyone, without any backup, he may not have been shot. It could’ve ended peacefully, without any harm to anyone.

“What you said earlier, you were right. I don’t know what I was thinking going in by myself. I put you and Lisa in danger, I got you shot. If you didn’t get the jump on him he could have hurt you two even worse-“

“Stop.” Mike interrupted you, placing his hand on your forearm, gesturing for you to sit down on the side of the hospital bed. “I didn’t say that because I was mad at you. I don’t blame you for me getting shot. You shouldn’t have come in because it could have been you in this hospital bed, with a gunshot wound much worse than mine. And I wouldn’t be able to have that on my conscience, you getting yourself shot for me.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, instead you just sat there, looking at the man that you most definitely would have taken a bullet for. And you’re pretty sure he would do the same for you; how terrifying to know someone cared for you like that.

“I’m really glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done…” you trailed off, not wanting to think about what could have happened.

“You shouldn’t have come in, but if you hadn’t, I don’t know if I would be sitting here, relatively unscathed.” he reached over, grabbing your hand in his. “Thank you for that.”

You squeezed his hand in recognition as your eyes began to water, not knowing what to say next.

“Are you sure you want to stay with us in SVU? You get shot twice in one year, that would have most people running away.”

“And let you drink the squad room out of coke on your own? Not a chance.” He replied.

“Good. Joint Terrorism would be too boring for you anyway.” You said with a smile.

“In all seriousness, I feel like I can make the biggest difference here. There’s time to move up the ranks later. Right now, I want to be at SVU, with you by my side.” He admitted, as his hand held onto yours tight.

There was a shift in the air, a conversation the two of you had been avoiding for a few months. It wasn’t the time now, and it may not be for a while, but now it’s out there. And neither of you are going anywhere.

A knock on the door pulled you out of your bubble, dropping Mike’s hand as the rest of the squad came into the room. They greeted Mike, lightly ribbing him about having nine lives.

A hand fell on your shoulder, and you looked up to find Liv behind you. She had a knowing smile on her face, but you knew she’d never ask. At least, not yet.

Instead, you focused on your family in the room, and how grateful you were for everyone to be here, safe and sound.

****

The fourth time you saved Mike Dodds happened off duty.

You agreed to be his date to an NYPD fundraising gala that his father was dragging him too. Mike warned you that they were a long night of politics and fake smiles, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little curious to see how the brass lived.

Unfortunately, Mike hit the nail on the head with the political atmosphere. You’d been at the gala barely an hour and you’d already spoken to two people running for district attorney. If you weren’t listening to someone’s campaign pitch, then you were hearing from the brass how much trouble the SVU squad caused the department, despite the “good work” we all do.

“I hate to say I told you so, but, I told you so.” Mike said while handing you a glass of wine. 

“How many of these has your dad dragged you to?” You asked as he took a sip of his beer.

“Too many. And now that I’ve ruined his dreams by staying at SVU, he’s going to continue to drag me to them as punishment.”

“Well, if the drinks and the food continue to be free, I’ll come to as many of these as you need me too.” You offered.

“First I’m paying for Chinese food, now I’m paying for galas, you’re an expensive date.”  Mike joked as you shoved his completely healed shoulder. He hasn’t let you pay for dinners since he got shot.

“That’s the price you pay for greatness.” You said with a smile, making him laugh. “Is he really still pissed at you for not going to JTTF?”

“The Five-Year Plan has been officially ruined, I’ve been told. I must have really pissed him off if he’s calling Matt and begging him to come home.”

“Your brother?” You asked.

The little brother that Mike had spent his whole life looking out for. He was responsible for him since he was a kid, and every one of Matt’s failures was considered one of Mike’s in his fathers eyes. The last time Mike talked to him was last year, after he picked him up from rehab. He was catching a plane to Mexico City with no plans of coming back.

“He called me last week, asked to help get dad off his back. I guess I’m the new disappointment in the family.”

“Hey, if your dad wants to go play savior with your brother, let him. But don’t let him and his agenda get in your head. He’s no better than these political puppets surrounding us.”

“Speak of the devil,” Mike muttered under his breath, nodding his head behind you.

You turned to find his father, Chief William Dodds, approaching the two of you.

“Hi son,” he greeted Mike with a firm handshake, then turning his attention to you. “Detective. It’s nice to see you.”

“You as well, Chief.” You shook his hand next, resisting the urge to squeeze too hard.

“Don’t you two clean up nice. Most cops that come to these things have no idea how to dress, they’ve spent too much time in the ranks to know what life is like outside of it.” Chief Dodds commented, and you gave a polite nod of your head.

If you didn’t care so much about Mike, or your career, you would’ve chewed his head off right here, right now.

“Well, we don’t have time for all the show business like you guys do, we’re busy keeping the city safe.” Mike added.

“My son, he gets so defensive, takes every comment personally.” His father said and turned towards you. “Mike didn’t tell me you were coming tonight, or else I’m sure he would have asked me to be on my best behavior.”

“Dad,” Mike tried interrupting him, but it was no use.

“But I never thanked you, for acting quickly at the Munson call. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, Mike could have been hurt a lot worse.” You took the compliment from the Chief, but waited for the other shoe to drop; you knew when you were being set up. “Although if you didn’t leave him in there alone with an armed perp in the first place, we could have avoided all of this. Nevertheless, it was handled, and I’m sure you acted just as your Lieutenant trained you to.”

It was no secret that Chief Dodds was not Liv’s biggest fan. He undermined her every chance he could, and he never tried to understand how SVU was different from every other department. Mike being placed as the Sergeant was his way of getting an inside scoop, but boy did that backfire on him.

And once you piss off Olivia Benson, you piss off her whole squad.

“Our Lieutenant is the best commanding officer I’ve had in my time at the department. Ask anyone that has served with her in SVU and they will tell you the same thing. It’s a shame that you didn’t get the opportunity to learn some things yourself. A lot of people hold her in high regard, so I’d be careful what you say about her around here.” 

“And if I were you, I’d watch my tone around your District Chief, Detective. Especially with your Sergeant standing in ear shot. It’s clear to me that SVU has no respect for the chain of command, and it would be a shame for you to learn this the hard way. Mike has already had to deal with the repercussions of being tied to SVU.” Chief Dodds threatened, and you actually had the audacity to scoff at him.

Mike began defending you, but you stopped him, holding your hand out in front of him.

“I don’t scare easily, Chief, and it's going to take a lot more than threatening my reputation to get me to turn my back on Lieutenant Benson and Special Victims. As for your son,” you looked back at Mike, his eyes steady on you the entire time. “Sergeant Dodds has been an incredible asset to our squad, so much so that our Lieutenant wanted him to stay in permanently, which I know is a sore spot for your ego. So you can continue to take shots at me, and my character, because you don’t really know me. But I’ll be damned if you think I’m going to stand here and listen to you drag Mike’s name, and his stellar reputation through the mud because he decided to make his own path. One that doesn’t involve all these fancy parties and pictures that you so thoroughly enjoy.”

Chief Dodds was stunned into silence, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He looked at Mike who also had a stunned expression on his face, but a smile was starting to show through.

“Excuse me.” The Chief removed himself from the situation, moving on to the next party goer with a smile on his face.

Once he was out of ear shot, your shoulders deflated and you turned around to apologize to Mike. 

“I am so-“

“Do you want to dance?” He interrupted you, his smile now fully covering his face. 

It took a few seconds for you to actually hear what he said, and when you did, you couldn’t help but laugh. Clearly, he wasn’t mad about you going off on his father. 

“I’d love to.” 

Mike took your hand and led you to the small dance floor, weaving in and out of older couples dancing the night away to the orchestra. You quickly took in your limited audience, including two Sergeants from your precinct, and the deputy commissioner of communications. He wrapped his arm around your waist drawing your attention back to him.

“You alright?” He asked as you curled your hand around his shoulder.

“Just a lot of people here, watching,” you said as Mike began to laugh.

“You just chewed my dads head off, a district chief, in front of these people, and now you’re scared of them seeing you dance with two left feet?”

“I don’t have two left feet.” You replied, squeezing his shoulder in jest. “I just don’t want people talking about me, that’s all.”

“Cmon, they’ve got better things to talk about than me and you.” 

“If they heard anything I said I’m sure they’ll be talking about the crazy SVU detective for ages.”

“Hey,” he squeezed your waist, drawing your attention back to him. “No one has ever stood up to my dad like that, not for me.”

“Well someone should have. I know he’s your dad and you love him, but that doesn’t give him the right to control your life or talk down on you.”

He shook his head as you continued swaying together, slowing down a bit to match the tempo of the music.

“It means a lot for you to do that. And if I wasn’t so impressed with your outburst, I would’ve done the same for you. I should have.” 

“I’m not worth getting into a fight with your Dad, Mike. Like he implied, I’ve got no real future outside of SVU, not that I’m really looking.”

“You’re worth it to me.” Mike said, eyes locked on your own. “If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have made it a week in the squad. You’ve changed my perspective on a lot, both on the job and off.”

You smiled, lightly ducking your head as you felt the blush creep onto your cheeks. 

“Well you’re not so bad yourself, Dodds. You’ve taught me a lot too, maybe too much. One day I’m coming for that Sergeant’s shield of yours.” You joked, and he threw his head back in laughter. 

It was so nice to see him like this. It was rare to get a moment of pure happiness on the job, and you weren’t sure how honest you wanted to be about changing your relationship outside the precinct.

“As soon as you pass the Sergeants exam, you can have it. You’d be better at this job than me any day.” 

You moved a step closer to Mike as more people stepped onto the dance floor. You’d never seen this many cops dancing in your life. 

“I meant to tell you earlier, but, you look beautiful tonight.” Mike said, trying not to be obvious in looking you up and down. 

You were blushing now for sure.

“Would you take it back if I told you I had to borrow this dress from Liv?” You had panicked last night, not knowing what to wear to a gala, and not wanting to embarrass Mike. 

“Not a chance, extra points for trying so hard.” You laughed as he put some space between you. 

“Mike, I know you’re a show off, but you better not be doing what I think you’re doing.” You warned, but it was too late as he lifted up your arm, gently spinning you underneath him. He smoothly pulled you back into him as a few people cheered for you. “Do you have to be good at everything?”

“Unfortunately, I do.” You hid your smile in his shoulder, not missing the way his hand slid comfortingly over your waist and lower back.

And unfortunately, you fear you could get used to this feeling.

****

The first time you were saved by Mike Dodds was in the middle of a bar fight.

This wasn’t your finest moment, yet you rarely seemed to be on your best behavior around Dodds.

The two of you were undercover in a joint operation with Vice. The bar had been home to an underground gambling ring for years, and a few weeks ago you got credible intel that they may be branching out into sex trafficking.

Three other Vice detectives were in the bar with you as their Captain and the rest of their squad surveilled from an unmarked van outside.

“You want a refill?” Mike asked as you finished your second club soda, trying to hide the sour look on your face from all the bubbles.

“And pretend I’m not choking on this awful carbonation instead of a smooth vodka? No, I’ll pass.”

He got the bartender’s attention and ordered himself another alcohol free beer and a Diet Coke for you.

“Thanks.” You tipped your glass to his and took a refreshing sip before conducting another once over around the space. 

“Simmons is still situated by the door, Ruiz and Lawrence have been under for an hour now.” Mike stated into his earpiece, updating the team outside. 

There was no timetable on this, and as far as Liv was concerned, we were on our own in terms of conducting our investigation.

“This whole joint investigation thing is feeling a little one-sided to me.” 

“Well give it a little longer before doing a lap to check-in with Simmons. If they don’t want to help us, they can tap in two of their guys from outside. Lieu already made that clear to their Captain.” Mike said before taking a sip of his non-alcoholic delight, his face scrunching in discomfort.

“Looks delicious.” You said with a smile, earning a laugh from the Sergeant. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you talked to your dad since the gala a few weeks ago?”

“Oh, you mean since that SVU detective tore a Department Chief to shreds?” He joked as you rolled your eyes. “I have, and he was extremely talkative thanks to the fact I avoided him for a week after.”

“Do I owe you Chinese food for the rest of the year in order to keep my job? I should know that my outbursts don’t come cheap.”

“He told me that he was impressed by you.” Mike started, a smile slowly appearing on his face. “He was mostly upset about your blatant insubordination, especially in such a public place, but he was impressed. I think he may even like you.”

“Are you messing with me?” You asked, not fully trusting the relaxed smile he was giving you.

“He asked that I bring you along to the next gala, all of them actually, ‘if it wouldn’t be too much trouble’,” he finished in air quotes, signifying the direct words from Chief Dodds. “My father is impressed with you, and probably wants you to be his next conversational opponent.”

“And what did you say, you know, about bringing me along?” 

You hoped you didn’t sound pathetic, or eager, or anything other than an inquiring friend. But it was hard to act normal when you felt the butterflies in your stomach and your heart rate increasing over the fact that Mike and his dad were talking about you.

“I said I’d have to ask her. Not sure how she feels about spending so much of her free time with the Dodds.” He said before turning in his chair to face you. “But I told him I had a good feeling you would, you don’t just tell off a Police Chief for a work friend. And of course, as long as Liv lets you keep borrowing her clothes.”

“Funny,” you said while shoving his shoulder, earning another laugh from him. It was then that you saw Ruiz head up the stairs, subtly motioning for you to meet her in the bathroom. “Ruiz is back up, I’m gonna go check-in with her.”

You walked straight to the bathroom, having to dodge a noisy bachelorette party on your way. Ruiz was washing her hands when you walked in, and you quickly cleared all the stalls before she began talking. 

She kept it short so that she could get back to the game, but they weren’t getting far on the sex trafficking front. Apparently the boss was going to be here later on, but even then there was no guarantee he would offer anything up. Their investigation, of course, was going to be handled by the end of the night, but there were no promises for us. 

You waited a full three minutes to exit after Ruiz in case anyone was watching her. When you left the bathroom and started making your way back to Dodds, you saw a Blonde woman sitting in your seat, cozying up next to him at the bar. As you got closer, you recognized her from the bachelorette group, a sparkly pink sash giving her away.

“Hey, everything okay?” Mike asked as you joined the two of them.

“Yeah, just a bit of a line in the bathroom.” You said, watching as the new girl continued to look Mike up and down. “Did you make a new friend?”

“I’m Alex!” She jumped in, big smile covering her face as she moved to place a hand on Mike’s arm. “I came up to get a round of shots for my group of friends. It’s Lizzie’s last weekend as a single woman, and we cannot let her be sober for one second of it. But then I got distracted by Mike over here - a guy as handsome as him shouldn’t be sitting alone at a bar.”

“Well, luckily I came back in the nick of time.” You said, hoping she would order her shots and be on her way. 

“I was telling him about our weekend - we’re down here from Albany, we’re not city girls. We’re headed down the street for our next stop, apparently there’s a popular karaoke bar that all the famous people stop in at. I told Mike he should come with us, invite a few of his cute friends along too to keep the party going.”

“I don’t really see him joining you for the rest of your night, Alex, but thanks for the invite.” You replied while taking a step toward Mike, lightly wrapping your arm around his shoulder, hoping she would take a hint. 

“Okay.” Alex said with a chuckle before continuing, “But you should be careful, leaving your man alone in a bar with those pretty brown eyes of his, cause someone’s gonna come up and take him away.”

“His eyes are hazel, actually, they’ve got a little bit of green in them depending on the lighting. I know it might be hard for you girls from upstate to differentiate colors, so I can help you out.”

You never considered yourself to be a jealous person, especially over someone who wasn’t even yours to have. But something about this girl coming up to Mike on this night, after the recent events that have gone down between the two of you, you felt a little protective over him.

“Everything alright over here Alex? Where are those tequila shots?” Another blonde woman with a pink sparkly sash came over to us, checking in on her friend and drinks.

“Yeah, they’re coming. Just trying to tell my new friend here to keep an eye on her boyfriend or he may decide to join the group of pretty out of town girls for the night.”

“Listen, Alex,” you remove yourself from Mike, taking a step closer to the girl who was really ruining your already shittiy night of undercover work. “I don’t know how bar etiquette works at your little townie spot up in Albany, but us city girls like to take the fight outside.”

“Alright, why don’t we just continue our night and let you girls go back to your party.” Mike interjected, feeling his hand on your lower back, steadying you out as Alex only laughed.

You took another step toward her, not knowing what your next move was, before the bartender stepped in.

“You,” he pointed to you, then to the door. “Fighting’s gonna get you thrown out any night lady. You’re done.”

“Thank you, sir,” the girls replied.

Before you could open your mouth to say anything else, Mike was standing behind you, arm wrapped around your waist to lead you toward the exit. Simmons eyed the two of you as you walked out, shaking his head with a smile on his face. You weren’t going to live this down.

The two of you made it down the block before breaking away from each other, looking back to see if anyone followed. When you looked back at Mike, his hands were on his hips, a growing smile on his face. 

“Don’t,” you warned while running a hand through your hair. “Don’t say anything.”

He didn’t, but he couldn’t keep his laughter in any longer. You wanted to yell at him, tell him it wasn’t funny, that there was still an investigation going on, and this was completely embarrassing for you both. Instead, you joined in his laughter.

“Were you really going to fight the innocent bachelorette party from Albany?” He asked through his fits of laughter as you rolled your eyes.

“Of course not. But how else was I supposed to get the drunk bridesmaid away from you so we could continue our surveillance? Offer her more sparkles?”

“Or offer to buy the next round of shots.”

“Now you tell me,” you said as you leaned against the side of the building. “At least we didn’t mess up the whole op, then I’d be in really deep shit not only with Liv but with Vice, and there’s nothing I hate more than owing a favor to a Vice cop.”

He nodded, agreeing with you as he settled in next to you. You knew you should go check in with the Captain, confirm they don’t need you for anything else before leaving the investigation, but you weren’t going to move until Dodds did. And the way he relaxed next to you, you had a feeling he didn’t want to leave any time soon.

“No one ever notices that my eyes are hazel, you know. It’s kind of weird how you hit the nail right on the head with the fact about them turning green.”

You turned to look at him, a little smirk on his face as he leaned his head back against the wall.

“As weird as talking to your dad about your close friend’s gala availability?” You hit back, watching him laugh and nod along with your point. You smiled to yourself for a second, remembering the conversation from earlier. “You’re sure I don’t owe you, he does like me, or at least tolerate me?”

“Do you want to talk about how much my dad likes you or how much I like you? Cause let me tell you, I’ve got him beat by miles, I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone.”

“Mike,” you started, watching as he pushed himself up to stand in front of you.

“Are you really going to look into my hazel eyes and tell me you don’t like me? That you weren’t going to get in a bar fight with a random girl for me?” He asked, and you let out a shaky breath.

“You know it took me a while to figure out your eyes were hazel, I thought they were brown for a while. I’m not some crazy person who just studies people’s eyes all day.” He nodded, trying to hide his smile as he let you finish, “and I wasn’t going to get in a fight with her. Maybe, maybe I would have shoved her, but I wouldn’t have thrown a punch.”

“Well that’s reassuring.” Mike added, and you couldn’t deny him now. Not when he was listening to you ramble on about his eyes, and his father, and all the weird things you two knew about each other.

“I like you too.” You confessed. “And you’re right, I wouldn’t attend galas and tell off police chiefs for just anyone. I’d only do it for you, Mike.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He said while wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close.

Mike’s eyes flickered down to your lips, taking his time bringing his gaze back to your eyes. You felt yourself nod the slightest bit, gently guiding him closer to you. His lips were soft against your own, slow and gentle as you kissed him back. He pulled away for a second, another check-in, before you leaned in again. You let him take the lead as you ran your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, trying not to smile as you felt his teeth graze your bottom lip.

“Sorry,” he mumbled against you, lightly pecking your lips a few times.

“Don’t be, I’m not going anywhere.”

Hours could have been spent lazily kissing Mike Dodds, feeling your stomach slowly build with butterflies. But you caught the smile he was trying to suppress, and it became contagious.

“Well,” he said with a laugh, gently resting his forehead against yours. “I guess you do really like me.”

“I guess so.” You leaned back to kiss him again, not wanting to let him go now that you know how good he feels. His tongue danced across your lips for a few seconds, and you relished in the feeling before slowly pulling back. “I don’t mean to be a total buzzkill, but we aren’t exactly going to be able to hide this for long at the station.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He assured you, gently kissing your forehead. “If some shuffling needs to be done, or conversations need to be had, we’ll take care of it.”

“So your dad may get to move you around after all, how nice.” You said with a laugh, as Mike nodded. If it meant you could be together, and Mike was happy with it, why the hell not. 

Before he could say anything else on the subject, his phone began to ring.

“Please don’t be Liv, please don’t be Liv,” you begged as Mike pulled away from you, quickly answering his phone.

“Hey Lieutenant,” he greeted Liv on the other end of the call and you closed your eyes. This was going to be good. “No, the Captain got it wrong. She got us thrown out for threatening to fight another woman.”

You rolled your eyes as he continued to talk to Liv, pacing the sidewalk trying to set the story straight and wrap up this godforsaken joint investigation.

Mike pulled the phone away from his ear now, walking back over to you.

“She wants to talk to you.” He said, trying to hand you his phone.

“No, she’s going to yell at me in that Liv tone, when I didn’t really do anything wrong!”

You caught his small smile before he gave you a quick kiss.

“Then you can explain that to her.” He said, holding out the phone to you. He kissed you one more time, for good luck and courage, before placing the phone in your hand.

You tried to hide your smile as you took a breath and placed the phone to your ear, ready to plead your case.

“Hey Lieu, I did not get into a bar fight with the bridesmaid from Albany.”

****

[noellawrites]

I don’t think you’ve ever got this kind of ask? But what if (yandere!suv men) the darling successfully got an abortion and left them before they got home?

OOOH this is so interesting. especially because it implies somehow you managed to outsmart them enough to get an abortion AND escape.

warnings: abortion, guilt, forced intimacy and abuse

All four of the men (Mike Dodds, Nick Amaro, Sonny Carisi and Rafael Barba) are obviously not going to just let you go that easily. Alerts will be sent around the city and to every NYPD precinct, cameras will be monitored, no stone will be left unturned.

But I think there might be some different reactions to the abortion once the men find you and bring you home (because they will. don't doubt it.)

Sonny Carisi will be heartbroken. He's going to drag you to church with him at least three times a week, forcing you to participate in confession and beg God for his forgiveness for killing your innocent baby. He's going to force you to spend more time with his family so you feel even more guilty, too.

Nick Amaro and Rafael Barba will be so mad that they will likely get physical with you. How dare you run away from them and abort their child? Expect punishments, loss of privileges, being ignored, and they will also force themselves on you in an aggressive, abusive way.

Mike Dodds will probably be more sensitive to your pain, wanting to make things better for you so you don't try and run away again or get another abortion. He wants that perfect family, though, and he is going to get it no matter what.

[detectivesvu]

Sharing Secrets

Mike Dodds x Fem! Reader Tags: Brief mentions of child abuse. Word Count: 3.6k "I just...hope I haven't completely messed things up."

The air of the SVU victim interview room was completely still.

It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but it was definitely quiet and not much conversation to fill the air. After all your years at SVU, talking to victims and hearing their stories still stung just as much as your very first day on the squad.

Of course, as time went on and you had more experience under your belt, you were more confident and comfortable talking to victims. You knew that in some cases, you were the only person in their corner. You were the only person who understood what they were feeling and what they were going through. Work experience helped, but it didn’t put even a dent in the way it still made your stomach turn to hear such traumatic events day in and day out.

And certainly, adults were one thing…kids were entirely another.

Too often, SVU was handed cases of kids being assaulted and abused…traumatized and scarred for life. With the adults, you always managed to move on, but kids? Kids’ cases stuck with you forever. Hearing small, meek children tell you that they had been touched or beaten…almost always by someone they knew and trusted. It was impossible to get used to hearing and seeing that every day…it was inconceivable to believe that anyone could lay their hands on a child.

Today was no exception.

He hadn’t hardly said a word since he sat down. He was practically trembling with anxiety as he did everything he could to avoid looking at you and your detective partner sitting directly across from him. If he did sneak a glance, his eyes tended to go to Detective Dodds, who only returned a quick soft smile each time he locked eyes with the 5-year-old.

His eyes were trained on the numerous pieces of paper strewn in front of him, a variety of different colored crayons scattered there as well. He was doodling away with the different crayons, silently dreaming up and sketching multiple pictures as a way of entertaining himself…and distracting himself from the two of you attempting to speak with him.

You and Dodds had been trying to get through to him for nearly half an hour. Each question you asked only earned a meek response and an uncomfortable body movement.

He was scared to death no doubt. Confused as to why two police officers were asking him so many questions that he didn’t want to answer…and even more confused about the situation that landed him here in the first place.

“That’s a really nice picture,” Your voice — soft and full of warmth — spoke to the young boy sitting across from you. “Do you like to draw?”

He said nothing. His eyes — full of fear and yet still so full of innocence — only flickered to you for a moment as a physical show that he had indeed heard your question. His left eye was swollen and a grisly shade of black and blue…evidence of what he had endured that landed him at SVU. His head barely nodded up and down as he set the crayon in use down, his cheeks tinting pink under your gaze.

Mike studied the picture that the child was currently working on. It was no Picasso masterpiece by any means…but even Mike could put together what it was supposed to be.

“Are these your favorite foods?” Mike asked, noting that he could spot a variety of foods that were universally kid friendly.

The child gave another small nod. Eyes now focused on his hands fiddling in his lap. This boy had been through hell and back, so it was no surprise he wasn’t interested in chatting about what foods he liked with two adult strangers. If that boy knew anything for sure, it was that the adults that were supposed to love you could hurt you beyond comprehension…so trusting an adult he didn’t know was not an option unless they gave him a reason to.

It was odd though. The boy had been much more talkative when Sonny picked him up and brought him into the precinct. He hadn’t been a chatterbox by any means, but according to Sonny — the kid wasn’t so clammed up like he was now. Something was making him uneasy.

“Pizza, ice cream, sandwiches…all really good stuff. I like all of that too,” Mike said, trying to establish some kind of common ground with the kid. Mike pointed to one particular image on his picture, a rectangular shape with a symbol on it that he identified to be a certain type of fruit. “Is this a juice box?”

The boy nodded once more, shrinking down into his seat as Mike continued.

“If you want, we can get you a juice box. We have some around here.”

For the briefest moment, the boy perked up. His eyes glimmered just long enough for you and Mike to catch it and know that you were making some progress.

He cowered and shrank into himself again when he locked eyes with you, and that’s when it clicked for Mike.

“Detective,” Mike turned to you, a small, reassuring smile on his face. “Would you get my friend here an apple juice?”

Mike had a look on his face, a look that let you know he had something in mind. You and Mike — a dynamic duo as work partners — understood one another. Your thoughts often flowed together smoothly and with ease. In many ways, your bond went well outside of work. The two of you didn’t just blend together as partners…but as people. If Mike needed you to leave, then you trusted him.

“Sure thing,” You retreated from your chair. “I’ll be right back.”

Mike kept his eyes on the kid, who allowed his own eyes to follow you as you exited the room and disappeared behind the wall. He released a long breath once you were gone, unbeknownst to him that you would be watching from the other side once his promised juice box was retrieved. Mike let the silence simmer for a few minutes, not wanting to immediately start asking more questions.

It wasn’t until the boy snuck another glance at Mike that he decided to try and press further.

“So…let me ask you something. Does Detective [L/N] make you nervous?”

The boy’s wide brown eyes locked with Mike’s for only another moment as he nodded, fiddling with his small hands.

“Can you tell me why she makes you nervous? You didn’t seem to like her being here," Mike asked. "I'm your friend. You can tell me."

The boy was clearly wrestling with himself. Not wanting to give in to Mike’s question…but deep down knowing that he wasn’t here to do anything other than help him. The boy then spoke for the first time in half an hour. The tiniest bit of comfort filled his senses as he finally began to answer Mike’s questions.

“She’s pretty…” He gave the tiniest, shyest grin with a small voice.

Mike couldn’t help himself. His laugh was light and surprised, but genuine. This was the first time he had said anything, and he chose to say that.

You yourself gave a small laugh, cradling the beloved apple juice in your hand to be delivered once Mike made some decent headway in this conversation.

“He’s getting through to him.” Olivia, who was standing to your immediate right, said aloud. “Even if it’s at your expense.”

You shook your head and shrugged, completely unbothered.

“I don’t mind,” You answered. “Mike knows what he’s doing.”

Mike could tell the kid was warming up. He didn’t want to lose momentum now while he was on a roll.

“Is that why you didn’t want to talk with her in the room?”

The boy nodded and surprised Mike by posing a question of his own.

“Do you think she’s pretty too?”

Suddenly, the questioning at your expense was getting a bit personal. Mike shifted in his seat a bit -- he wasn't going to lie to this boy, but he also knew you were listening. Right now, this kid was his priority.

“Yeah, bud. I do.”

The boy brightened up, clearly interested in this ordeal. Mike didn't mind. If it distracted him from what he had been through, then he was more than willing to dish out his personal business.

“Are you boyfriend-girlfriend?” The boy straightened up, now having no trouble keeping eye contact with Mike.

“No, we’re not boyfriend-girlfriend.” Mike chuckled again at the phrasing of the youngster's question.

“Why not?” He tilted his head slightly with curiosity.

Mike's eyes widened at that question, a sly smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He wasn't expecting that question, and it caught him off guard. Mike was too far down the road of this conversation to turn back now. If he lost this kid's trust, they might never really know what was happening to him. He turned his attention back to the child, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

"It's a bit more complicated than that," Mike admitted, trying to maintain his composure. "We're partners...but not the kind that dates."

It seemed that suddenly the boy was very invested in your and Mike’s relationship because he continued to press on like he needed to know for his own personal reasons.

“But if you think she’s pretty, why don’t you date?” He asked. “You like her don’t you?”

Mike chuckled again, amused by the boy's curiosity and keen eye for detail. He leaned back in his chair, contemplating his answer for a moment before speaking.

"Well...you're right. I do like her," he admitted, a smile on his face. "But it's not always that simple. We work together every day...and sometimes," Mike said, hesitating for a moment, "Work can get in the way of things."

“Oh…” The boy said quietly, thinking for only a moment before continuing. “So you don’t like her more than a friend?”

Mike pondered on the question. It really was a difficult one to answer. Because the feelings he had for you weren't just that of friendship. They were stronger, deeper, but he didn't know how to articulate it to a 5-year-old child. He leaned closer to the boy, his voice serious but still friendly.

"I do like her more than just a friend. A lot more," He confessed, his smile still on his face. "But it's a bit tricky when we work together. Does that make sense?"

The boy picked up on Mike’s quiet tone, and he matched his whisper when he spoke next.

“Yeah but…why don’t you tell her you like her?”

Mike was caught off guard again by the boy's insightful question. He shifted in his chair, feeling a pang of guilt and regret in his chest. The simple truth was, he had thought about expressing his feelings to you more times than he could count. But there was always a reason not to.

He sighed, his voice low and conflicted.

"It's not that easy. If I tell her how I feel...it could mess up our friendship."

Mike realized he was probably oversharing with him. In no way was his feelings for you the child's responsibility...but the boy didn't seem burdened in the slightest -- this was the most interested he had been in talking all day. A slight smile appeared on the boy’s face as he leaned over the table, whispering even quieter to Mike.

“I think she likes you too.” He grinned.

Mike kept his expression unchanged, but his heartbeat was beginning to quicken in his chest. He knew there was no turning back from this now. He leaned in toward the boy, mirroring his whispering tone.

"What makes you think that?" He asked in a hushed voice.

The boy shrugged, but his eyes were completely lit up at this conversation.

“I don’t know…” He giggled. “I can just tell.”

Mike knew this conversation was getting way off track. The purpose of this interview was to get this boy to tell him about what he had endured at his daycare center, and how he ended up bruised and beaten — but at this point, Mike figured it was valuable to finish it out.

“You’re a smart kid,” He said. “You can tell me. How can you tell?"

Mike was impressed at how observant and perceptive this kid was. At such a young age, he had an astute sense of things that many adults didn’t even pick up on in their own relationships. The boy scrunched his eyebrows, thinking hard. Mike chuckled at the sight and waited patiently for his answer.

"Well," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "She smiles at you a lot. And she listens when you talk. Like...she really listens."

Mike was speechless. He could tell this kid was observant, but this was beyond impressive. It seemed that this five-year-old was beyond smarter than he was.

“But I won’t tell her if you don’t want her to know you like her,” The boy said. “I promise."

Mike knew that it wasn't a secret anymore, given that you were probably watching from the other side and had heard this entire conversation. Still, Mike admired the kid's loyalty. He leaned forward, a conspiratorial smile on his face.

“Thanks, kid. Let’s keep it just between us for now, okay?”

Mike knew you had to have been watching and listening this entire time. His stomach was in knots knowing that you had just heard him spill his liking for you to a child. He hoped and hoped that this kid was right, and that your friendship and partnership wasn’t over.

As if on cue, the door to the room opened — revealing you with two small boxes of the promised apple juice. The boy shrank into his seat slightly when you entered, but shared a knowing glance with Mike.

Mike's eyes darted from the boy back to you, trying to keep a casual demeanor despite the wave of nerves that washed over him. He could sense the boy's slightly timid behavior as you entered the room, and the knowing glance the boy shared with him was both reassuring and foreboding. He tried his best to act natural, standing up to take the juice box from you and set it on the table in front of the boy.

"Perfect timing, thanks." Mike said, his voice betraying a hint of tension underneath.

She knew Mike was going to try and continue the conversation with the boy now — and get the full story of the abuse he had endured. She wouldn’t be sticking around - just long enough to give him his juice.

“I brought you a second one…just in case you were extra thirsty.” she smiled at the boy, her heart pounding at the new knowledge of Mike liking her so much more than she ever realized. “If you want anything else, let Mike know, okay?”

The boy took one of the juice boxes, unwrapped the straw and punched it into the hole.

“Okay,” He gave her a shy smile. “Thanks.”

The thought of you potentially knowing Mike's feelings for you — the fact that he may have given away his secret to you via a 5-year-old — was almost overwhelming. But he pushed it aside, needing to focus on the task at hand.

As you excused yourself to leave the room, he shot you a quick nod, a silent thank you for the juice and giving him and the kid some privacy.

“Okay, buddy…” Mike said calmly, trying to shift gears. “Can you tell me about your daycare teacher?”

For the next hour or so, Mike and the boy talked back and forth. The boy told Mike all the details of how his daycare teacher abused him and other kids in his class — and gave SVU enough reason to question and potentially arrest her.

Through the boy's detailed and sometimes-heartbreaking account of the abuse he and others had suffered, Mike listened intently, his heart breaking a bit more with every new piece of information. He jotted down notes as the boy spoke, making sure to capture as much information as possible for the investigation. The more Mike learned about the daycare teacher's treatment of the children, the more determined he was to bring her to justice.

When the boy was out of things to say and SVU had enough information, Mike stood from the table and held his hand out to the boy.

“You’ve been very brave and helpful to us,” He said, smiling once more when the boy walked around the table and took his hand. “Thank you for helping us.”

The boy nodded, walking out of the room hand-in-hand with Mike — entering Olivia’s office where you, Olivia, and Carisi were waiting. Olivia wore an expression of curiosity, Carisi looked as if he was about to explode to go tell the entire squad room what just happened, and you were looking at Mike...purely in awe as he stood in front of you.

Mike squatted to meet the boy’s height, gesturing toward Carisi with a grin.

“I need to get back to work now. Detective Carisi is going to take you now, okay?”

The boy nodded again, leaning in to whisper one more thing to Mike before going with Carisi.

“I won’t forget our secret.” He said, and Mike patted his shoulder affectionately.

Carisi took the boy with him, leaving Mike alone with her and Olivia. As Carisi led the boy out of the office -- no doubt going to tell Fin and Rollins about this -- Mike stood up and stood stoically, now facing you and Olivia, his nerves mounting. He avoided your gaze, focusing instead on straightening out the notes he had taken during the interview. The silence in the room was deafening, and Mike's heart was hammering in his chest.

"I'm going to call Barba," Olivia said, which was Olivia's way of saying she was leaving the room. “I'll send Fin and Rollins down to that daycare center."

Mike nodded in acknowledgement as Olivia relayed the news about the teacher, his heart racing even faster at the impending prospect of being alone with you. He swallowed hard, bracing himself for the conversation that was to come. Olivia swiftly left the room, closing the door behind her.

Mike stood frozen for a moment, mustering up the courage to finally look over at you. He took a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours. It wasn't like Mike to be so nervous. Mike was always confident...super focused on work. But right now, he was terrified that your partnership and friendship was ruined.

He could tell you weren’t angry with him or anything of that nature. If anything you looked…relieved.

“So…” You couldn’t help but flash a small grin, his chest fluttering at the sight. “You think I’m pretty?”

Mike let out a nervous laugh, a mix of relief and anxiety coursing through him. Seeing your small grin made his heart skip a beat. He couldn't deny it now - he was about to see the outcome of his confession.

"Guilty as charged," he admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "That kid wasn't wrong."

He paused for a moment, the weight of his feelings for you heavy in his chest.

"I just...hope I haven't completely messed things up."

“Come on, Mike…” You took a step closer. “You know it would take way more than that to mess things up between us.”

Relief washed over him as you took a step closer. The distance between you guys was shrinking, and he could feel the tension in the room growing. He studied your face, searching your eyes for any hint of rejection.

"I was worried that you'd think this completely changed everything." He said, his voice quiet but firm.

"Well…it certainly does change things…in a good way." You smiled.

Mike's head was spinning. This was certainly not how he expected his day to go...and for the first time ever, he was distracted from the current case at hand.

He took a cautious step forward, closing the distance between you guys even further. His eyes searched yours, looking for any sign of doubt. He saw nothing but genuine hope.

"The kid was right after all," You said. "But this is a conversation we can have when we get this case figured out. We need to get him taken care of."

He gave a slow nod, his gaze locked on yours. As much as he wanted to blurt out everything he was feeling, he knew you were right — there was work to be done first.

"You're right," he said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "We need to focus on the case. But when this is all over…"

"When this is all over..." You finished his sentence for him. "We will see where we go from here."

The promise of "what's to come" overwhelmed him like no other. It had been so long since he had something other than work to focus on. He took another step forward, the urge to be closer to you nearly overwhelming him. But he stopped himself, knowing that until the case was closed, he couldn't act on any impulses.

"Right," He agreed. "How about dinner at my place?"

Your smile grew, and a slight heat rushed your cheeks.

"It's a date."

The matter was put to rest for now. They had work to do and a case to solve. But neither of you could deny that it sat in the back of your minds for the rest of the day. The day had taken an unexpected turn after all, and a most welcome one at that.

Mike was patient, and he knew with a little more time you would be able to see where this would lead.

Although, you both already had a pretty good idea of what that would be.

[bullet-prooflove]

That poly alphabet—could I ask for A, L, Z with Peter Stone, reader, and Mike Dodds? 👀❤️

Oh Girl! You know I didn’t even think of this but I’m loving it.

Aftercare:

I think Mike would be very loving, stays tangled up in you, hands roving all over your body holding you close. I feel like Pete is more practical, he’s the one that gets the wash cloth, that tucks the sheets around you both, turns down the lights, makes sure the place is locked up before he snuggles in behind you.

Lick:

Mike loves giving head and receiving it. It makes him feel so cared for when you or Peter blow him, like you’re giving him a gift. He loves giving you pleasure, hearing you or Peter say his name. His fav position is having you sitting on his face and Peter riding his cock. He loves behind used for your pleasure.

Peter loves receiving, will hold back as much as he can because he loves both yours and Mike’s mouths on him.

Zealous:

I think Mike is a little subby and goes out of his way to make it about you. He’s not getting off until you’ve gotten off. Peter’s more dommy, he likes it to be about all three of you, he’s doesn’t mind who comes first because he makes sure everyone does. He does love it when the both of you take care of Mike, I think Peter is very aware that Mike has problems with his self worth and there are nights the two of you will spend hours teasing him, edging him, praising him.

[australiancarisi]

Mike Dodds ~ Family

"Can you please write a SVU x BB crossover where Mike Dodds finds out his new girlfriend is the youngest child of the Reagan family as they hadn’t met via work and neither wanted to bring up their connections and enjoyed the relationship being one that is just themselves and not because of their name etc. " Words: 1451

Anon thank you so much for requesting this, I don't really get requests anymore, I don't really write anymore but ugh this was just amazing to write and made me so happy so thank you :')

��Would you still be with me even if I was a worm?” Mike’s hand that had been slowly running up and down your spine stopped. You were both lying on his couch, him on his back, you lying on top of him on your stomach. 

“We were having such a nice time” You shot up quickly making Mike groan as you move your weight into his stomach 

“That’s a no!” 

“I never said no” Mike pointed out 

“You didn’t say yes either” 

“Sweetheart-“ 

“Say it” 

“y/n-“

“Say. It.” you huffed crossing your arms and pouting like a child. Mike sighed. 

“Yes I would still be with you even if you were a worm” 

“Thanks Mikey Moo back at you” you grinned and leaned forward to give him a kiss. 

“I don’t know where you think of these things” Mike laughed moving you off his lap so he could get up and go to the kitchen. 

“It’s the youngest sibling in me, you wouldn’t get it you’re the eldest child” you playfully rolled your eyes. You and Mike hadn’t been dating long, about 3 months. You’d met in central park, both of you had been on a run and almost like you were in the movies you ran into each other. 

Literally.

You a bruise on your wrist from where you landed. Your brothers kept making handcuffs jokes at Sunday dinner. 

“Riiiiiiight” Mike opened the fridge and pulled out a beer as your phone pinged on the coffee table. You groaned it was your brother Danny telling you about a case he’d just picked up, all hands on deck. 

“I have to go, got a case” you jumped up, quickly going to Mike for a kiss.

“Be safe” he pecked your lips “are you coming back here?” 

“I’ll see where I end up” you shrugged, kissing him one last time before scrambling to grab your stuff as your phone rang. “yes yes I’m on my way…” 

Mike laughed and shook his head as you headed out the door. Although the relationship was new he knew he was in this for the long haul. He never saw himself with another cop, not when his father was a chief. He always had to prove himself 10 times more than anyone else that the idea of also having a partner be in the NYPD was not on his radar. He’s managed to keep his family out of the relationship, come to think of it neither of you really spoke about your family, his was highly dysfunctional, Mike was just assuming yours was the same or you just weren’t that close. 

Whatever the reason, Mike quite liked that it was just you and him right now. The rest of the SVU squad knew he was in a relationship, there just hadn’t been a chance to introduce you to them yet. He was looking forward to it though. 

It was Mike’s turn to groan as his phone vibrated this time, a message from his dad reminding him of the gala night on the weekend that his presence had been demanded for. He hated these nights. He wished he could have had you be his plus 1 but that would mean meeting his father and Mike wasn’t ready to pop the bubble the two of you had been in. 

....

Mike quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket to send you a text while his dad was distracted by someone. You and Mike had been playing phone tag since you left his apartment earlier in the week. Your case had turned into a big one and you hadn’t had a moment to yourself since and Mike was drowning in paper work. He’s been at this gala for over an hour, shaking hands and being introduced to many people. People his father wanted him to make a good impression on to move up in the ranks. Mike slipped his phone back into his pocket as his father’s attention turned back to him and they continued the rounds around the room. 

“Alright Mike get ready for this one” William nudged him and steered him towards a table. “Commissioner Reagan, nice to see you again” 

“Dodds” the commissioner held his hand out and the two shook hands. “and it’s Sargent isn’t it?” 

“Yes sir Sargent Mike Dodds, nice to meet you Commissioner” Mike stuck his hand out to shake  his hand. 

“Please call me Frank” Frank smiled and shook his hand “I hear you are at SVU now with Captain Benson, good squad” 

“Great squad” Mike said “Definitely different to what I’m used to but learning a lot” there was noise from behind the commissioner who rolled his eyes. 

“Well Dodds you introduced me to your kid I guess I better introduce you to mine, they are being loud enough, you’d think as adults they would mature but apparently not” Frank moved slightly to show the table behind him. 

Mike’s eyes widened. 

“Chief and Sargent Dodds meet my children. Detective Danny Reagan, ADA Erin Reagan, Sargent Jamie Reagan and my youngest Detective Y/n Reagan” 

...

“Oh my god can you put your phone away for one night?” Erin rolled her eyes at you. You were sat at a table with your family at some gala for the NYPD. Being the commissioners kid meant you had to show up to all these events even though all you wanted to be was curled up on the couch with Mike. Sure Mike could of come but that would of meant outing yourself as the commissioners kid and that’s not your idea of a fun date. There was an asterisks next to your name. No matter how good of a cop you proved yourself to be there was always going to be someone who said you only got there because of your family. And not that you think Mike would be one of those people, you weren’t ready to have the family conversation just yet. 

“She talkin’ to her boyfriend” Danny smirked 

“Boyfriend since when?” Jamie questioned 

“Since none of your business” you shoved him “how did you find out?” 

“Overheard you talking to Baez about him” Danny shrugged “so when do we get to meet him?” 

“If I’m lucky, never” you huffed. Your siblings started to gang up on you, you hadn’t even noticed your father had started talking to someone else. 

“Well Dodds you introduced me to your kid I guess I better introduce you to mine, they are being loud enough, you’d think as adults they would mature but apparently not” your dad said making all of you be quiet. You felt your heart stop as you looked at Mike. “Chief and Sargent Dodds meet my children. Detective Danny Reagan, ADA Erin Reagan, Sargent Jamie Reagan and my youngest Detective Y/n Reagan” 

Wait.

Dodds. 

Chief. 

As in Chief Dodds. 

You mentally face palmed yourself as you made the connection. How had you not put two and two together? You stayed quite as everyone said hello, your dad and chief Dodds began talking about something else. You excused yourself to go get another drink. As you stood at the bar you felt a hand on your lower back. 

“So…commissioners kid….” Mike whispered “didn’t see that one coming” 

“neither did I, son of a police chief” there was a moment of silence “we aren’t very good detectives if we couldn’t put this together” 

“yeah maybe let’s not tell anyone, they might demote us to traffic stops on Staten Island” Mike

smirked making you laugh.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it’s just a lot to throw at someone. It’s not easy to tell the person you are dating that your father is their boss and I really like you Mike and I love spending time with you and it’s just been so easy and no drama and my family is all drama let me bloody tell you and it’s been so refreshing to just get to be me, y/n. Not a Reagan, not the commissioners kid and-“ Mike cut your rambling off with a kiss 

“I get it” he whispered against your lips. “Son of a police chief. I get it” 

“You’re not mad?” 

“Of course not. How could I be mad? I didn’t tell you about my dad” Mike kissed you again. You heard Erin call out your name. You both turned to see your siblings and both your fathers and your grandfather looking at you. “I guess there’s no hiding my love for you now” 

“I…your…what” you looked back at him “what did you just say?” 

“I love you y/n” Mike smiled down at you “even if you are the commissioners kid” 

“I love you too Mike Dodds, son of a police chief” 

[duchesschameleon]

Hi! Happy Saturday!💜(or whatever day it is for you lol)

How about: “wrapping the other person in the hoodie or jacket they are still wearing, so both of them can stay warm”

With Mike Dodds x reader?

ooohhhh yes yes yes I can. love the mike dodds love!!!

You love fall in New York City, the changing leaves, the crisp air, the return of kids in schoolyards and a more constant crush of people in all parts of the city.

What you don’t love is the way the wind can bite. The chill that seeps into your bones this early in the season as you acclimate to the colder weather again.

Mike feels you shiver next to him as you walk Scout through the park. He looks over, sees you burrow into your sweatshirt, trying to block out the cold.

“Hey, c’mere,” he says, tugging you closer by the hand. “You’re freezing.”

“No I’m not,” you protest, burrowing into his side as he wraps an arm around you.

“Uh huh, sure.”

You walk like that for a moment until Scout finds a place he wants to dig and smell around, explore a little further. Mike hugs you to his chest after he lets Scout off his leash, lets him roam the area a little.

“Jeez! Your nose is freezing!” he exclaims as you turn your face into the small piece of skin exposed by his shirt.

“S’not that cold,” you mumble into his chest, “I’m just not used to it yet.”

“Sure, sweetheart,” Mike placates you as he unzips his jacket, wrapping it around the both of you. He wants to bring you impossible closer; do anything to help you retain some warmth. “C’mon, wrap your arms around me, we gotta keep you warm.”

You let out a contented hum as he wraps his arms around you, keeping the jacket around you as well. It’s not perfect, and you’ll have to face the cold again once Scout is ready to go back home, but for now it keeps you warm and close to the man you love.

send in requests here!

[adarafaelbarba]

Sitting across a bar, staring right at her prey

Mike had noticed you looking at him for the past 10 minutes from where you sat at your side of the bar.

"Another beer for you sir." The bartender said, setting another glass of his almost empty beer in front of him.

"I didn't--," Mike started, but the bartender shook his head.

"She did." He said and nodded towards you.

When Mike looked at you again you tipped your head slightly and raised your glass up. From the dim lights in the bar, he could almost make out the lust in your eyes as you smirked.

Maybe after being with Alice for so long, he still got it?

Getting out of his chair he grabbed his drink and moved to you. "Anyone sitting there ma'am?"

"Hopefully you will." Your voice was laced with lust, and he sat down, moving close.

He was embarrassed to say that he was willfully out of practice when it came to flirting. It had been so easygoing when he was with Alice. But now...he had no idea what he was doing.

"Just relax, sir. I won't bite...hard."

~~~

Tagging:

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[rqgnarok]

more than just a short time — jamie whelan

fandom: law & order organized crime

wc: 2,579 

warnings: SPOILERS for the season finale of law & order organized crime, canonical character death, canon mention of hospitals and violence. very self deprecating talk from a disabled character. ANGST. ANGST, ANGST, ANGST. female!reader

summary: Can someone be a widow if their partner only ever planned to propose?

author’s note at the end.

Jamie doesn’t wanna see her.

She’s on her way up, Bobby tells him gently. Jamie wishes the surge of relief that courses through him wasn’t mixed up with the abhorrent need to send her away, be as rude as possible to have her leave the room before she comes to terms with what he’s become.

He doesn’t. Jamie nods at Reyes and licks his lips. He feels his eyes burn when the door opens to (Y/N) walking in, clutching the strap of her purse like it’s a lifeline, eyes wide and terrified and determined all at once. Bobby cups her elbow in silent support as he leaves the room, and Jamie swallows the mean words that try to climb up his throat at the sight of someone else doing what he can’t; comfort her, touch her, be the steadiness she needs in a moment of chaos.

Neither of them speaks as they’re left alone, a bubble of something-not-quite-peace enveloping them and making the outside world a mere blur at the other side of the doors. It’s only them and the ticking clock, the smell of alcohol and disinfectant, and the lack of color and life one expects from this specific wing at Bellevue. 

They’d met in a bar around four years ago. Jamie had just made detective and some of his buddies at the four-nine were adamant about at least buying him some drinks in celebration. Just after finishing his first beer, another one had been delivered to the table, the waiter pointing to where (Y/N) was sitting at the bar, smile sheepish and face flushed at being caught. 

She’d heard them celebrating and figured there was no harm in inviting the next round. Jamie leaned into her space with a charming grin and said something stupid about being harmed by meeting someone so beautiful and not asking for their name. To this day (Y/N) calls it the worst pickup line she’s ever heard, but it got him a laugh and a date that very same weekend. 

It’s been good. It’s been great – the last time Jamie was so infatuated by someone he’d been thirteen and crushing after the next-door neighbor. He fell so hard for (Y/N) and simply kept falling as they moved in together before their second anniversary and started looking for rings a couple of months before he transferred to Organized Crime.

The development of their relationship has been both a whirlwind and the most obvious thing Jamie’s ever lived through. Of course he was supposed to meet her. Of course he fell in love with her from the very first night. He hasn’t been able to imagine his life without her since their first date. 

Jamie doesn’t want her here. Jamie needs her by his side. These are two things that have to coexist now, his new reality far from the idea he had for the rest of his life.

He doesn’t tell her to go.

“Hi, sweetheart,” (Y/N) talks first, breaking the silence and the distance between them all at once as if snapping out of a spell. She drops her things in the chair left behind by Bobby and is by his bed in an instant, hands hovering all over him like she’s unsure of what parts of him she can touch without hurting him. 

Jamie wills for his fingers to twitch, for his hand to wake the fuck up and reach for her, help her cross those last few inches she isn’t daring to do on her own. 

He remains limp against the bed. (Y/N) finally touches him, her fingers against his cheek. It’s enough for Jamie to shudder with a cry, turning his head so he can soak in the touch. She’s warm and steady against his skin and Jamie mourns his situation for the hundredth time in the last hour.

“Jamie,” she says, murmured and weepy. Jamie’s eyes close in agony but it feels too much like being dead already, so he opens them again. The sight that greets him is devastating: his almost-fiánce-never-to-be-wife, asking him for something he can’t give her. The lifetime together he’s been waiting to promise in his proposal has gone up in smoke in the blink of an eye.

It was the right thing to do. Jamie knew– not even the blinding pain that shocked through his nerves had been enough of a distraction to the urgency in Stabler’s voice– that the second Kyle died, the chance to put down Shadowerk would go with him. 

There really was nothing he could’ve done. The bullet had reached his spine the moment it entered his body. He was dead the second he walked into that godforsaken camp.

But (Y/N) hadn’t known that when she kissed him goodbye that morning. She’d stood on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his neck and joined their mouths together, tasting of toothpaste and languidly using her tongue to make him late for work.

“Hi,” he says, voice dry, trying not to sound as miserable as he is and failing. 

He’d already canceled a vacation on her earlier that week. A pre-honeymoon, he’d started calling it in his mind, maybe finally the right time to propose. He worries for a ridiculous moment if (Y/N)’s gonna be able to get a refund out of that, fretting terribly for what’ll happen to her after he’s gone.

He knows she can take care of herself but she’s not supposed to have to. Not while he’s alive and breathing.

Jamie’s overcome with how badly he wishes he’d called in sick. That he let (Y/N) drag him back to bed like she almost did and throw caution to the wind, burrow himself in her arms and her laugh, and leave the curtains drawn shut, embracing the safety of the darkness. He was so afraid of letting Bell and Stabler down, of having Reyes go out there without someone that cared for him watching his back, and where did that get him?

Without his body. Without a future with the love of his life.

The love of his life who can never find out what he asked of Bobby. Even if she loves him enough to do it for him– Jamie loves her too much to even ask. He won’t do that. He’s already planning on making her a widow, having her do it is just cruel. He made a promise a long time ago that he wouldn’t let the job make him someone he didn’t recognize and he’s not about to start bailing on it now.

Can someone be a widow if their partner only ever planned to propose? Jamie almost suggests they get a priest in here and use Bobby as a witness, but (Y/N) deserves better than that. And she’ll find it someday, Jamie’s sure of it, with an accountant or a banker or someone with a boring job who doesn’t leave the house to get shot at and get paid too little for it. 

“My day sucked,” he jokes weakly despite the inner monologue that’s rushing through his brain, trying to get her to smile and his voice cracking with emotion in the process. (Y/N) struggles with it but she manages an upward tilt of the lips, eyes wet. 

His pretty girl, so fucking resilient.

“I bet,” she tells him. She doesn’t stop touching him, which Jamie appreciates as much as he does the effort at light conversation. “Office coffee was that bad, huh.” 

Jamie’s laugh turns into a sob so quickly that he reasons it wasn’t really ever a laugh. His fragile good humor is gone in an instant, lip wobbling and features scrunching in agonized despair.

“I’m sorry,” he cries earnestly and without restraint for the first time since his mom died, probably. He shuts his eyes but it does nothing to stop the flow once it's started and (Y/N) can’t wipe all his tears fast enough. “We should’ve gone on vacation, I shouldn’t have gone to work at all, I’m so sorry–”

“Hey,” she cuts him off, equally as devastated. “Honey, it’s alright, it’s okay. You were doing the right thing, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

He keeps apologizing anyway, fervently. Jamie isn’t strong enough to stop when (Y/N) starts to cry, too. She just holds him as best she can while they cry together. “You don’t deserve this, you don’t need less than half a–”

“You’re alive,” (Y/N) insists fiercely through tears. Jamie doesn’t tell her how this can’t be much of a life. “You came home to me, baby. That’s all that matters to me, you understand?”

Jamie hums an affirmative and keeps crying, and (Y/N) keeps soothing her fingers over his cheeks, his mouth, his temple, his hair. Jamie’s tremendously grateful for her, even if the need to make himself small and let (Y/N) hold him will never be satisfied again. 

“You’re not half of anything,” she continues to reassure him without room for discussion. “You’re my everything. My whole entire life, Jamie–”

“I kept thinking of you,” he weeps, his breaths coming fast and hurried without the usual feeling of his abdomen pulling with the force of his grief. “All the time I’m out there, all I do is think of you, and I thought this time, I– I– I–”

She says his name helplessly, pressing a fervent kiss to his temple while some of her tears fall into Jamie’s hair, her breath stuttering. (Y/N) wraps herself around him as best she can without disturbing his injuries and the machines that are keeping him alive, leaving her in a most awkward position she doesn’t complain about once. Jamie’s love for her is too strong to be contained inside his body.  

“I love you,” he tells her after enough time has passed that Jamie’s almost certain he won’t break into another sob. His voice quivers but that’s about it, and he thinks he’s allowed. (Y/N)’s fingers tremble against his temple. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” she answers without hesitation, her voice a little shaky, too. She scratches at his hair and Jamie’s shiver is cut down to his neck. “I love you, baby, and we’re gonna be alright. We’re gonna be okay.”

“I don’t think we’ll make it to Alaska,” he tries not to scoff in disappointment because he knows (Y/N) won’t like it, and she proves him right when she purses her lips like she does when trying to convince herself not to slap him in the back of the head.

“Don’t be stupid,” she says, but it’s so, so soft it sounds like a term of endearment. Idiot, like honey, sweetheart, baby . “I don’t care about that. We can get shitfaced and take pictures with your thumb on the lens at home, you know.”

“Hey,” he says, trying and failing not to think about wedding rings at the bottom of champagne glasses or hidden in chocolate mousse cakes. He’s always made fun of people who think proposing with a choking hazard is a good idea but Jamie now aches for that stupidity, that normalcy that won’t ever be for him. He refuses to propose in a hospital room when he can’t even put a ring on her hand himself. “We probably won’t get a refund out of that.”

“That’s okay,” (Y/N) soothes. Nothing is, but Jamie lets her try. Maybe she’ll have better luck at pretending than he did. “I don’t mind.” 

They fall into silence and he almost goes to sleep under her hands, pacified to unconsciousness half due to exhaustion and half due to her presence: the calm in the middle of the storm. Jamie isn’t mad anymore, can’t be when she’s got him wrapped around her finger.

“I love you,” he can’t tell her enough, sleepy and quiet. The rush of air she lets out is the only indication that (Y/N) heard him. 

Breathing’s getting harder, already a chore, and now the thought of the device running out of batteries or accidentally disconnecting from where it's keeping him alive makes him anxious. (Y/N)’s worried, he can tell even if she almost never voices it because she refuses to make him feel guilty about doing the job he loves. Jamie wishes she’d tell him off, scream and cry at him and not bottle it all up. It’ll only be worse when he–

He says, "Want every day with you," with sharp breaths between each word because he's too exhausted to say I want to spend the rest of my life with you. There's a ring in my locker at the station that I've been waiting for the right moment to give to you. He doesn't say, every moment is right when we're together and I'm sorry I'm only realizing that when I’m unable to breathe on my own.

(Y/N) smiles, shaky and watery, and the most gorgeous sight Jamie’s seen in his life. She knows, and Jamie knows she does. The knot that had built up the whole time he'd struggled to stay awake, waiting for her in this hospital bed, loosens.

It’s gonna be okay. She’s gonna be alright, even if she’ll miss him. She’ll grieve and move on knowing, without a doubt, that Jamie loved her like he’s never loved anyone before. It’s enough for him. He can only hope it’s enough for her, too. 

“Honey,” she rouses him gently from an accidental slumber hours later, the sun that gave little light to the room now gone behind the horizon, (Y/N)’s fingers still caressing his face. She looks exhausted and worried and the most beautiful Jamie’s ever seen her. Her smile is brittle and shaky. “Your dad’s here. I didn’t want to wake you up, but–”

“‘s okay,” he tells her. “Can you give us a few minutes?”

“Sure,” she says softly, hesitation clouding her features only for a second before she’s leaning in for a kiss, firm and lingering. Jamie exhales into it, something in his chest unfurling at the touch. He hadn’t realized they hadn’t kissed yet. “I’ll bring him in.”

“Wait,” he says, managing a boyish grin with lidded eyes. “Do that again.”

(Y/N)’s smile is bright, and Jamie’s glad to taste it when she goes in for another kiss on his mouth and then moves on to his cheek, his nose, his chin, his forehead. “Insatiable.”

“You love it.”

“God help me, I do,” she pats his chest carefully. “Let me go get your dad before he wonders what we’re doing in here.”

“Okay,” he says quietly, and once last time because he can’t help himself. “I love you.”

(Y/N) turns from where she already had one foot out the door, expression tender. “I love you back. See you in a minute.”

Later, after crying in the safety of his dad’s presence like a little boy and saying his goodbyes, Jamie closes his eyes as his breaths begin to recede. The shrill sound of his heart monitor, the panic that takes over the room when he stops breathing, he’s aware of none of it. 

Behind his lids isn’t death, but the Northern Lights and (Y/N) underneath them, showered in colors and smiling at him like she did that first night in a bar, young and unknowing. She offers him her hand and Jamie takes it. Nothing hurts.

 ________

this fic snuck up on me ngl but the season finale fucking wrecked me. i’m still thinking about writing a fix it.

short (considering my standards lol) and somewhat sweet? hope you enjoyed and if u want tell me what u think!

<3 

masterlist / ao3 / buy me a coffee

[agender-wolfie]

When you get into a fandom but 99% of the fics are fem and are unlabeled or untagged

[plaidbooks]

Mike Dodds HC - On Love and Sex?

No one ever made you feel as sexy and beautiful as Mike Dodds. The first time you were naked in front of him, you were embarrassed, face heating as you attempted to cover up parts you didn't like.

But he was soft with you, patient. He told you how gorgeous you were and kissed every inch of you. Slowly but surely, he helped you forget about your insecurities, and you grew confident with him.

It was more than just in the bedroom, though. Mike was all about building you up with praise and compliments. He always made sure to tell you how stunning you were every single day.

With him, you learned what being loved and cherished really meant.

[squadmuse]

I’m struggling to write just now…

So if anyone has some fic alphabet ideas - please send them in!

Can be fluffy, angsty, smutty etc it doesn’t matter

[noellawrites]

I've had this idea for a while and was wondering if you could please write it (nothing long or anything). How would the yandere svu (all the guys you write for) react to a reader who's just genuinely academically smarter than them. I feel like a few of them wouldn't take it well, and their reactions would be funny. Love your blog.

Mike Dodds is going to love that about you, and he’s going to brag about you to everyone he knows. “Look, this is my brilliant partner!” Only after his father talks to him does he see it as a bad thing, ‘a threat to his manliness.’

Sonny Carisi is going to be happy for you and proud of you, unless it comes to a you vs him situation. Like if you were both studying for the bar exam, or sergeant’s exam? He’s going to manipulate you to make you feel stupid for sure.

Nick Amaro likes a strong partner, so he probably won’t mind much. But if you make him look stupid in any way, he’s going to punish you for sure. And to his kids, he always has to be the smarter one. No question about it, and he’ll hurt you if you disagree.

Rafael Barba is… the worst. If you’re smarter than him, than you’re really fucking smart. He’ll be fine as long as you don’t try to outwit him or prove anything, especially in front of his co-workers. If you do, you’re getting manipulated and punished for sure.

[merakiaes]

Anyone have any requests for Mike Dodds, Joe Velasco, Nick Amaro, Peter Stone? This fandom is so dead and it's making me depressy. I just wanna write something but idk what😭💔

[bullet-prooflove]

Again another Mike Dodds song. I can imagine this being him when he has to leave her for the counter terrorism job or witsec (because I refuse to believe this boi died on us). He never forgot her her and was devastated he had to leave her and their future behind

[caracalwithchips]

Trapped together (Part 1)

I haven’t written anything in over a year, but apparently this is the time of year I get inspired! However, one of my 2023 goals is to finally write out some of the ideas I’ve had for a while. I will continue to post very sporadically, but please let me know if you would like to be tagged when I do (I believe @plaidbooks asked to be tagged on a past post). 

This fic fills the Blizzard square for StoriesofSvu’s 2022 Holiday Bingo @storiesofsvu . It’s my first 2-part fic, and I hope to have the finale uploaded in 1-2 days. 

Pairing: Mike Dodds x Reader

Trigger warnings for a brief mention of serial killer in the “set-up” to the story (skip the 1st paragraph if you’d like to avoid it!)

************

It had been a busy two weeks of intense investigation by the Manhattan SVU squad on the hunt of what your team now believed to be a prolific serial killer who traced victims new to the city back to their rural hometowns to attack someone in their families. Today, you and Sergeant Dodds had needed to travel through a West Virginia mountain pass following a lead based on a victim who had run away from her small West Virginia community. Her cousin had suffered a mysterious hunting accident only 5 days after her death in the city.

However, when leaving the small county morgue, the local Sheriff informed you and Sergeant Dodds of an impending blizzard and that the mountain pass was unsafe to travel through and would only get worse throughout the night. You both tried to explain you were used to driving in New York winters, but he convinced you both that it wasn’t worth the risk. Instead, the Sheriff directed you to the only motel in a two hour radius where you and Dodds would have to wait out the storm until the roads cleared enough to return to NYC.

It was a small, desolate, dingy highway motel that looked like it usually saw its own clientele of shady individuals. The owner directed you and the Sarg to the only room left that held one queen-sized bed. Everyone who had been traveling through the area had descended upon the hotel in an effort to ride out the storm, and the owner told you both how lucky you were to arrive in time to get the last room.

You and Dodds shared a look. It was one of discomfort and hesitation. There may have also been some mortification on your part with some added on bubble-guts related to your secret penchant for reading “there was only one bed” romance books. There was no way that situation was actually happening to you in your actual real life. With Mike Dodds. The most beautiful man you had ever seen. Also the nicest.

“Are you absolutely certain there are no other rooms?” asked Dodds. The motel owner again confirmed that there was the one queen bed which we could take or leave. “What about any roll-away cots?”

The hotel owner let out the phlegmatic laugh of a 30-pack year smoker. “Where do you think you are, son? This ain’t no fancy place, which is clearer than day to anyone who ain’t blind. Ain’t you some detective? Sheriff Lonnie called ahead and near ordered me to hold the room for you two.”

You stepped in before your sergeant risked offending the only person standing between an unlucky situation and a worse situation. “Then could we at least get some extra towels and blankets, please? As many extra blankets as you have,” you asserted, with your hand on your gun hip to get the point across. You didn’t trust the ancient-looking powerlines outside to be capable of keeping even the small hotel warm and lit. The owner came back a few minutes later, shoved a stack of towels and blankets into your arms, and shut the door behind him.

You turned around and found Dodds with his hand on his head, clearly thinking hard about something. You watched him for a moment before he noticed you watching. Then, with resolution, he grabbed a blanket from the pile and grabbed a pillow off the bed and headed towards the door.

“What are you doing, Sergeant?”

“I’m going to sleep in the car tonight.”

“Are you insane?” you spluttered.

“I’ve slept in worse places than a car.”

“During an Appalachian mountain blizzard? Do you have any idea how cold it’s about to get outside? People die in these kind of conditions, Sergeant.”

“I’ll keep the engine running.”

“The gas won’t last that long and I doubt the car battery will be able to make it through the storm, either, without dying or the engine line freezing.” You knew nothing about cars, but that sounded right.

He leaned with his head against the door and mumbled something you couldn’t understand.

“Pardon?”

With a big sigh he turned around, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.” This was all uncomfortable, of course you were uncomfortable. “Are you uncomfortable, Sergeant?”

He hesitated, “a little.”

“Would you be uncomfortable if it was Carisi here with you instead?”

He barked out a laugh and ran his hand through his hair. “I would be, although I’m not sure if I’d be more or less so.”

“I personally think I’d be more uncomfortable with Carisi. He strikes me as the type of sleepover guest who keeps everyone else up all night talking then drools all over your mom’s guest pillows.” You both laughed uncomfortably before you continued, “We’ve had too long of a day for worrying about making one another uncomfortable after an already long week trying to find our perp and getting an idea of the extent of how many victims he even has. I’m tired and we’re both grown. We’ve worked together long enough that we can sleep in the same room without it being weird, can’t we?”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make things even more uncomfortable. I just want you to know I respect you and your comfort.” Your heart did a weird somersault before he continued, “and your role as one of my detectives.” Oh. Right. You were going to have to remind yourself to be professional. It’s not like you had the biggest crush of your life on your own Sergeant. That would be career suicide and a recipe for an embarrassing situation that you didn’t have the social grace to handle.

“Of course I know that, that would never be in question, Sir.” There. See? Super professional. Professional was your middle name. “Now, I’m going to try to shower the morgue germs off.”

You carried all of the towels into the bathroom with you. You closed the door behind you and made a face in the mirror after catching a whiff of the moldy air. This was the grossest motel you had ever been in. It had probably been built in the 60s and seemed to have the original brown and mustard carpet, curtains, bedding, possibly even the same towels. You weren’t sure if you wanted to inspect the bed to rule-out bedbugs or if you were afraid to look. It’s not like you could do anything about it.

With a sigh you started shrugging out of your suit. When you were stripped down to your undies, you made a decision. You filled the sink with soapy water and scrubbed your undergarments. Then you took the time to stand with the mini hairdryer attached to the wall to dry them off. You could put up with a lot of things, roach motel included, but you weren’t going to sleep in anything less than fresh drawers. Then you took a quick hot shower and scrubbed yourself dry with a scratchy towel before staring at yourself in the mirror and thinking about the sleeping arrangements.

You really didn’t want to sleep in your suit pants after traipsing through the rural crime scene and a morgue, but you also didn’t want to make your already uncomfortable boss more uncomfortable. You were very grateful that you threw on a t-shirt under your blouse that morning. Still, it barely reached the top of your thighs and your lacey underwear were quite visible. You left the t-shirt on, wrapped a towel around your waist for the walk to the bed, and stepped outside of the now-steamy bathroom and walked, with pretend confidence, towards the bed.

With your head held high and eyes aimed on your destination you strode further into the room…and tripped right over your sergeant who was laying on the floor. You caught yourself after falling on your knees and looked behind you with a look of exasperation.

“WHAT are you doing?” you yelled at the same time apologies were spilling out of his mouth and he was trying to help you up. At some point the towel had fallen off from around your waist so you jumped up the distance between the floor and the bed and quickly pulled the covers over you.

“I’m so sorry, I was trying to find the cleanest part of the carpet to sleep on. I assumed you would see me?”

“No I didn’t see you Sergeant, why would I expect to see you on the floor? Why are you on that disgusting floor? Do you know what kind of things get trapped in a 60 year old rundown motel carpet? Please get up!”

“I thought it would be better if I slept on the floor. I told you I’ve slept in worse places,” he smiled sheepishly and made no move to get up from the floor.

“Sergeant, am I more repugnant than that filthy floor?”

His eyes grew wide as saucers, “Y/N, no!! Of course not! How could you think that?”

“I think that because you continue to sit on the floor.”

He stood up and looked lost. “I….where am I supposed to sleep if not in the car and not on the floor?”

You stared in confusion at his confusion. “Sergeant, in the bed. Next to me. Surely that’s better than a car in a blizzard or a motel room floor?” He turned red from his neck to the tips of his ears. He seemed at a loss for words.

“If it would make you more comfortable, we can pile a bunch of these extra pillows and towels in between our sleeping bodies. You know, so that I do not mistakenly accost you in the night.”

“I never! I never thought…” he stammered.

“Of course not. I’m teasing you, mostly, but I certainly don’t expect you to sleep on the floor and considering where we are I would prefer you did not.” You piled up two extra blankets lengthwise in the middle of the bed. When he remained standing where he was, you shrugged, laid down, and turned over on your side. You really were tired and this was a mentally exhausting case. You didn’t have the energy to spend anymore time coaxing your sergeant into a somewhat comfortable sleeping arrangement nor to convince him that you could both behave like adults. You heard him shuffle into the bathroom and you heard the water start. You pulled the blankets tighter around you. The wind howled outside and despite the old heating system being turned up to its highest number, the room felt very cold. You pulled your knees up to your chest hoping to conserve heat.

You must have been close to dozing off because what felt like only a few minutes later you felt the far side of the bed dip and heard the lamp click off. The bed moved a little as Dodds tried to get comfortable. You weren’t sure if you should say goodnight or continue looking like you were asleep, so you decided to stay as you were. Part of your decision came from the fact that you were so cold, you couldn’t bare the thought of uncoiling from your fetal position. As you started feeling heavier with sleep, you wondered if you had been shivering because you felt another blanket being placed over you. A hand very lightly squeezed your shoulder as you heard a whispered “Goodnight, Detective” before falling fully into sleep.