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neotibicen-linnei · 14 days ago

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been stressed lately so I'm fixating on The Character (Charon) and why I love him so much, so like. he's kind of a blank slate, right? all we know is that he was brainwashed, he has to obey the contract holder and has (according to Ahzrukhal, who mentions his "annoying sense of morality") some sort of personal values. his in-game dialogue shows that he's grouchy and a little sarcastic, when given the opportunity, though most of his responses are formal and to the point. also he likes guns.

everything else is up to interpretation, and that's what makes him so fun & interesting to me. there are a thousand different versions of the same guy and technically, any one of them could be canon. love characters like that.

now here are my personal takes <:^) keep in mind that this is 99% speculation and headcanons, based more on Vibes and Projection than actual in-game info. also it's a Lot. because I think about this guy a lot. basically a whole-ass fanfic in outline form. ok here we go

starting off with history:

he's a pre war ghoul, & was somewhere between 25-40? when he started turning. starting age doesn't really matter, to me he just seems Old as Fuck and Tired of Everything. like he definitely witnessed the fall of humanity- and its violent aftermath- firsthand.

given the political climate in the decades before the bombs, it's easy to imagine there being some pre-war, top secret super soldier program where he was initially trained and brainwashed. he was likely nabbed as a kid (more info from Ahzrukhal, who said Char "grew up around an interesting group of individuals") and indoctrinated into it, maybe volunteered by his parents? also could've been orphaned/homeless/otherwise an easy target that no one would miss. maybe they weren't federal but privately funded, like by some radical billionaire building an army for the apocalypse. I've got my own version of this in a google doc somewhere, might turn it into fic someday but! the point is, violence and obedience are all he's ever known; though the older he gets, the more he sees through the lies and pushes the boundaries of his contract.

he would've finished training at age 16-18 probably? graduates like him worked for high ranking military personnel, politicians, paranoid ultra rich types, or anyone else with the funds and need for a totally obedient bodyguard. he was loaned out to these people under a pre-specified time limit (i.e. someone could hire him for a set number of months, or for the completion of a project, before he was supposed to be returned). Charon spent the next ~10 years traveling around with different employers, witnessing the pre-war world without ever getting to participate in it. never knowing a life beyond his designated purpose.

while each boss had his attention so long as they held the contract, Charon's true loyalty lay with the organization that raised him. he was barred from forming personal connections with anyone, including employers, beyond what was expected of him professionally. this was a crucial part of his conditioning, ensuring he'd always return 'home' when an employer's time was up. he never once questioned this until long after his trainers were gone.

the bombs fell when he was in his mid to late twenties. he survived thanks to an employer's private bunker, which sheltered them both through the worst of it. they didn't have enough supplies to stay there indefinitely, so a few weeks into the apocalypse, they left to try their luck topside.

in the event of total devastation, Charon was supposed to return to base for reassignment. but with all the chaos and rioting and lack of transportation (even if he found a working vehicle, everything was still on fire and covered in nuclear fallout, including roads) he decided it best to stick with his current employer until conditions were safer. his boss was shortly killed by an attacker- a first in Charon's career, which he definitely wasn't thrilled about. up to this point he probably hadn't failed much, if at all (get ready buddy there's gonna be a whole lot more of that). I agree with the general fan interpretation that failing gives him headaches and anxiety, all the way from mild twinges to incapacitating migraines, depending on how badly he's fucked up.

after walking the whole way home, he found an empty, ruined compound devoid of survivors. anyone important spent doomsday in vaults and bunkers, while those left above-ground died or fled elsewhere. with no one left to report to, Char followed emergency protocol and handed his contract to the next living person he encountered. a cycle that would continue for the rest of his life.

losing the closest thing he'd had to a family, as awful and traumatizing as they were, affected him more deeply than he'd admit. it was less of an emotional blow and more a loss of direction. his entire being was crafted around serving his creators; what was he without them? all he could do was keep finding employers and hope things worked themselves out (or that he'd meet an honorable, contract-abiding end in the line of duty).

though post-bombs survival was definitely part of his training, nothing prepared him for ghoulification. having never formed an identity beyond servitude, Char wasn't exactly vain or attached to his appearance as a human. but let's be real. even the most practical, emotionally detached hardass is gonna be at least a little upset when their nose falls off, and their hair falls out, and their skin starts peeling, and it feels like their organs are shutting down- he probably kept it together, because that's what was expected of him, but by now he was certainly being pushed to his limits. once he got unpleasant enough to look at, his employer at the time was quick to pawn him off on someone else. employers past that point treated him noticeably worse, escalating from haughty and dismissive to downright sadistic (within the bounds of the contract, of course. Charon found what satisfaction he could in killing those who didn't read it closely enough).

once Charon gathered that he wasn't dying, and could still perform his duties like before, life went on. it was only decades later, when he realized that ghouls don't age, that it truly started to bother him. death had been his only hope of freedom from the contract. now even that was out of his reach. his training would never allow him to seek it willingly, and despite all the dangers of the wasteland- and the ineptitude of his many employers- he was finding it pretty difficult to get killed by accident. he kept throwing himself into fights and somehow pulled through every time. not always unscathed, yet alive.

and he just kept getting angrier. more cynical, more bitter, more tired of it all. outwardly blank, nothing more than a gun to be pointed at enemies, but resentment simmered just beneath the surface. his self control started to slip, and he found himself talking back to employers, purposefully twisting the meaning of their orders, indulging in violence as an outlet. for most of his life, he'd been fed propaganda about protecting his superiors and his country (which country is that? undecided, though I like to headcanon his ethnicity as half Russian half Chinese, meaning he was trained by someone on the "communist" side of the war). but there are no more countries, not in any way that matters, and the masters he serves act solely in their own interests- not that this is any different than his pre-war employers, but it takes him a while to wake up to that.

as for how he ended up in the Ninth Circle- it sticks out to me how Ahzrukhal says that Charon "made some choices landed him in my employ". implying Ahz didn't just come across the contract or happen to be present when the previous employer died. I'm thinking that Ahzrukhal tricked him somehow, maybe got him to void the contract by accident? though after 200+ years of living with it and finding all the loopholes, that'd be pretty hard to do. idk it's a fun concept to explore but I have no concrete ideas right now. in any case, I think Char spent quite a while there, longer than he had with most wasteland bosses.

Ahzrukhal had him do more than toss rowdy drunks out of the bar. along with his chems dealings, I could see him dabbling in the slave trade (Ahz tells the LW that he Abhors Slavery, and that chains are earned rather than given. but it wouldn't take much for a guy like him to twist that meaning to his own purposes or just like. straight up lie about it). even if he wasn't directly involved in the business, he wouldn't be above turning in any escaped slaves they came across, sending Charon to deliver them for a bounty. he was a particularly cunning and cruel master, fond of giving out arbitrary punishments for every little mistake. Charon got accustomed to rarely sleeping or eating, to taking micro naps sitting up, finding new and terribly dull ways to entertain himself while standing in the same corner every day. he starting looking forward to side work, no matter how unethical his tasks were, because it was the only time he got to go outside and exist unsupervised. by the time LW shows up, he's just so over it, lowkey wishing to go feral or encounter an enemy he can't beat.

ok now to the present/LW timeline:

you really thought we were done. that 1000+ words of rambling, poorly formatted speculation was enough haha no there's more.

despite his love for combat and bloodshed, he's not sadistic for the sake of it. there are lines, never mind that employers force him to cross them all the time. Char doesn't like to hurt innocents unprovoked. if attacked by someone who clearly doesn't stand a chance- like a desperate wastelander or a child- he prefers to take them down non-lethally. he is pretty sadistic towards those who have it coming (how does he determine who has it coming? depends on his mood). his kills are efficient yet brutal, and he's not above drawing it out if they really tick him off. morals are there but they're grey as hell.

he doesn't like slavers or raiders, but also doesn't go out of his way to save their victims. looks on super mutants with a sort of detached pity, knowing that like him, they don't have any choice in being what they are. he sees killing them as both a necessity and an act of mercy- not that he's all that merciful, but even after all this time and misery, there's some small, painfully human part of him that still finds reasons to care. at least, when he's got the energy for it. sometimes he doesn't know why he bothers. if just trying to do the right thing is the only factor he can control, the only resistance he can show towards his selfish masters. sometimes he gives in to cruelty for the same reasons. he tries not to think about it and finds himself doing so anyway; especially in Underworld, where he's got all the time in the world to dwell on past mistakes. his time there starts to feel like some rightful punishment, as does his ghoulification- of course he'd end up immortal, hideous and confined to one corner like a misbehaving dog. he's earned this fate several times over. even wishing for death feels undeserved.

he's autistic. just because I think it fits and want it to be so. he stims with his hands sometimes, though he's learned to repress it- most bosses don't want a twitchy, distracted bodyguard. as a compromise, he finds ways to keeps his hands busy, like compulsively cleaning his gun, repairing equipment, taking inventory of supplies. when given the freedom, he also enjoys whittling, usually handmade knives or little animal figurines. but like cigarettes, this is a luxury he's rarely allowed under Ahzrukhal's management. but god how cute is it to think of him carving little dogs and molerats or whatever in his free time. once he has a space of his own, he lines them up on a desk. gives them away as gifts to the few people he tolerates. maybe he gets a big collection going and gets defensive when it's pointed out; he's just keeping his motor skills sharp, it is not a hobby it's practical you just don't get it.

it takes him months minimum to start trusting Lone. possibly years. at first, he resents them the same as any other employer. his self-esteem is at its worst, he's closed off to anything that's not strictly related to his duties, and he can't seem to view their kindness as anything but manipulation. so what if they tell him to speak freely, and sleep whenever he wants, or make his own decisions without waiting for their approval? it has to be a trap. he's constantly waiting for the hammer to fall, and his new boss's easygoing nature only serves to make him more nervous. it can't be real. others have tried this, and he fell for it, and it will not happen again.

Lone makes a great effort not to phrase things as orders, but this is sort of unavoidable- all it takes is a careless word shouted mid-combat to set Char into action. Lone tries to have open discussions with him, and teach him about boundaries & such, which is like pulling teeth until he actually starts to take them seriously. when they continue to be consistent, and it's clear they're not playing some fucked up mind game to get his defenses down, Charon starts to relax. it's subtle until it's not, but the simple fact that he starts conversations unprompted, or lets Lone touch him without flinching, is already a massive improvement. it helps that they never punish him for making mistakes. or that they don't force him to do things he's not comfortable with- not like he'd tell them directly, but they've learned to read his reactions, deciphering all the grunts and micro-expressions and acting accordingly. it's definitely messy sometimes (my version of Lone is a chem-addicted, traumatized burnout with his own hangups, so their personalities do clash) but the respect, and eventually love, is always there.

my Lone is an escaped slave, and meets Charon a few years after the canon timeline of FO3. they're a neutral karma mercenary type, intent on taking down every slaver in the Capital Wasteland. with their shared experiences of living under others' control, and Lone's insatiable need to Fuck That Old Man, there does end up being some shippy stuff down the line. however, whether it's platonic or romantic or whatever, there is something so sweet and special to me about Lone & Charon's relationship. finding someone who knows your pain, or at least something similar to it, and does their best to show you that you're in safe hands. even when you don't believe them, and keep pushing them away, they keep trying, and keep being there until you find you've got no choice but to let them in. seeing yourself as less than a person until someone comes along and helps you rediscover your humanity. auuughhhh.

there's also something fun about an evil Lone who makes him Worse. but I mostly want him to be happy :')

if you read this far hey thanks. I could write even more, but this is enough for one post probably. tell me your own Charon headcanons or I'll explode

#you ever get so autistic about a character you write a wall of text that maybe 2 people are apt to read in full #i just. really like him ok #charon #fo3 charon #fallout 3 #characters who view themselves as mindless tools until theyre shown genuine unconditional love and even then take a long time to accept it #have my entire heart

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