#mommymayi

[idontunderstandwhydoyouneedmyurl]

Got tagged by @sheshatefulandsoami for this prompt: combining this picrew and this uquiz!

Yeah I can see that LMAO. This picrew didn't have the best hair options IMO so I did my best to represent my super grown out roots and faded bleached ends

Im tagging @glitterandmoondustofficial @tridentariism @condemned-titan @mommymayi-iwillanyway and anybody else who sees this and wants to do it!

[ironhoshi]

I posted 3,031 times in 2022

400 posts created (13%)

2,631 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ironhoshi

@phoenixyfriend

@mommymayi-iwillanyway

@wanderingbasilisk

@spaceguylewis

I tagged 670 of my posts in 2022

#star wars - 183 posts

#cal kestis - 181 posts

#kesett - 127 posts

#boba fett - 86 posts

#jfo - 80 posts

#jedi fallen order - 61 posts

#cal kestis deserves the galaxy - 50 posts

#asks - 47 posts

#star wars fan fic - 34 posts

#throwing snippets around - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 93 characters

#and then later by someone else i got told it makes them happy to see people who like the ship

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A queen, tbh.

329 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

#4

They didn't say repress your feelings, they said be mindful of your feelings. There is a big difference between the two.

337 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#3

Bruh.

411 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#2

805 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I mean... can ya blame her?

1,198 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kalluzeb4later]

Soulmate au snippet

1/?

Inspired by “He Will Always Say the Words” by MommyMayI on AO3 (specifically chp 3. Im gonna make things just a bit worse for Kallus. Why is he just so… whumpable?)

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Zeb was getting angry.

“Come on open your eyes and let’s show ‘em.” Zeb cajoled him.

Kallus kept his eyes firmly shut.

“Just open them and we can show them they are wrong.” Zeb roared.

Kallus would have jumped from his seat if he wasn’t bound to it. Despite his best efforts his body was now shaking.

His limbs felt like ice, the sensation creeping towards his center, before a sudden lurching pain from deep within caused him to vomit.

Kallus had just enough sense to turn his head towards the side before the burning bile in his throat could spill on himself.

He could vaguely hear the sounds of panic from the rebels ,as they no doubt flinched back in disgust, over the horrid sensations wracking his body currently. Every muscle in his was contracted, held taut, and beginning to burn with strain as the vomit just KEPT COMING. He’d had horrible hangovers and thought times from his ISB training with different substances but this was something else. Something deeper, more painful, and terrifyingly cold. It felt like something important was being expelled with each retch, something vital that he was sorry to lose.

He couldn’t help opening his eyes and saw that whatever was spilling out of him was not food, bile, or blood that he suspected. Whatever it was was black.

He couldn’t focus on everything the rebels were saying as their voices climbed in pitch with their panic. He could only make out the Jedi screaming “soul sickness” before losing his breath and consciousness. His eyes rolled back and faded to black just as he felt the lasat’s hand catch his face to try and turn him to face him.

TBC

[bearboyboy]

Idk how I missed it until now, but this compilation of soulmate meet-cutes has me obsessed. I wish more ppl did AU with like this, bc this is sooo good

[mommy-may-i-blog]

Not Gonna Happen

Picking a name for a baby is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Forget taking the ACTs or learning how to parallel park. Never mind having to learn long division for the first time or even give birth. Knowing that whatever name I give to my child is a name they are going to have to live with for (most likely) their whole life is actually kind of terrifying. You have to consider nicknames wether they be good or bad, as well as if they could be picked on in any way for their name.

With that being said, here are 3 girls, and 2 boy, names that we will not be using for our little angel. 

Addison

Meaning

From an English surname meaning "son of Adam". Its recent popularity as a feminine name stems from its similarity in sound to Madison.

English and Gender Neutral

Addison was one of my very first choices when I found out we were having a girl. I like this name because as it stands on its own it can be a sophisticated name that will work for the child as an adult. On the other hand as a child it can be shortened to Addie and it becomes cute and innocent little name. However this name wasn’t the ultimate winner mainly because Blake said no. This was actually the fate for a ton of the names (even boy names) that I liked. If we both didn’t at least like the name 90% then I took it off the list.

Brooklyn

Meaning

From the name of the borough of New York City, originally derived from Dutch Breukelen meaning "broken land". It can also be viewed as a combination of brook and the popular name suffix lyn.

English and Feminine

I have loved the name Brooklyn since before I had kids or was even in a health enough relationship to consider kids. I like the name Brooklyn because to me it just feels very girly, and sure in this day in age anyone can be named anything. However I have always pictured my little girl prancing around a stage in an overly puffy tutu while her pigtails bounce up and down with her, and for me this name always solidified the vision for me. (To all the haters, if my daughter would rather be a quarterback than a ballerina then by all means more power to her but my hypothetical child still wants to dance so hush.)

This name actually made it to our top 4 names for the princess but was ultimately taken off when the list hit the desk of daddy. His exact words were, “I want to be the only ‘B’ in the family”, and thus it was stricken.

Grace

Meaning

From the English word grace, which ultimately derives from Latin gratia. This was one of the virtue names created in the 17th century by the Puritans.

English and Feminine

Grace is another name that made it onto our top 4 list. Blake is the one that added it to our list and it made all of my requirements for names. It works both for when they’re little as well as an adult, there’s little to no bad nicknames, and I couldn’t think of anything she would've been bullied about. So why was it taken off the list? The only thing that sent it to the losers circle was because I felt it was too short and didn’t roll off the tongue well with Dexter when said together.

Final Result

I know there are people out there who are truly ready to know what our little girls name is and I promise you we actually have one picked out and finalized. However we are thinking about saving our big announcement until the princess is here. We have only told the closest people in our life what her name will be and I’m sure they are excited to share. I do promise however that her name announcement will be pretty cool. 

A little hint to her announcement...we had something made...

[shadowsong26fic]

🌻🌞

[Kallus] could see where those rumors that the Queen had appointed the Prince Consort to the position had come from--Prince Anakin was known to have lost an arm during a civil war decades ago.

Send me a flower!

[silvereddaye]

Luke woke up to another day of fixing vaporators, oh joy.

Not like there was anything else to do on this blasted planet anyway. Plus they needed the water to, you know, survive. At least he did. Luke walked through the sandy homestead. Most of it was underground to escape the heat of the horrible two suns that were already starting to bake the desert above. He stomped into the garage not hiding his discontent or annoyance. 

He quickly spotted his father. The large black and armor-clad cyborg sat on the ground leaning against the sandstone wall. The only indication he was alive was the steady hiss of the respirator and the blinking lights on the control panel on his life support suit. Luke wasn’t even sure if he had moved since he had last seen him some hours ago. 

“Father,” Luke said as he marched over and stopped right next to the black leather boots. “Father.” 

Luke kicked the boot. It was hard and heavy and barely moved. But it did cause Luke’s father to ever so slightly tilt his helmet up so the black lenses in his mask were pointed at Luke. 

“When will you be done sulking?” 

Kish-kosh. Kish-kosh. 

“Ugh!” Luke shouted. He was about to turn around and march out into the desert and take out his anger on a vaporator. Prefably with a lightsaber instead of hydrospanner. 

“I am not sulking,” came the deep rumble of his father’s voice. It caused Luke to freeze. After the shock of hearing his father’s voice receded, Luke slowly turned to face him. The helmet was titled up a bit higher. He was clearly looking at Luke. 

“If you’re not sulking,” Luke said slowly, “then get up and we can return to Imperial Center.”

Kish-kosh. Kish-kosh. Kish-kosh.

“Father!” Luke said. “I didn’t kill Sidious for you to hide out on some backwater Force forsaken planet! You have to claim the throne before the opposition does!’ 

“I am aware. That was the plan all along.” 

“Wait,” Luke said. “You want a Republic Loyalist to get the throne?” 

“I want your mother or sister to get it,” Vader said. 

Luke’s entire body went slack. His bulged out and his mouth fell open. “Wh– what?! My … my mother? My sister? When were you going to tell me this?” 

“I do suppose now would be a good time.”

.

Send me an ask with the first sentence of a fanfic and I’ll write the next five.

[idontunderstandwhydoyouneedmyurl]

I posted 15,147 times in 2022

That's 5,740 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (0%)

15,090 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@missy-mistress

@thevoidwatches

@mommymayi-iwillanyway

@bitchyeahmagnets

@sheshatefulandsoami

I tagged 2,143 of my posts in 2022

#i have an excellent sense of dramatic queueing. and good hair. - 523 posts

#da - 175 posts

#critrole - 147 posts

#gideon the ninth - 119 posts

#one piece - 111 posts

#critrole spoilers - 74 posts

#goncharov - 72 posts

#my text - 56 posts

#exu calamity - 55 posts

#ofmd - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#a damn shame this doesnt even have the 'british imperialism to us imperialism to 9/11 to mcr to twilight' branch of lore thk

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Of all the days to wake up with a headache. It had to be the day of the Snip

7 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#4

And very abruptly I feel like Xerxus is getting played HARD 😬

8 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

#3

I have slept for most of the day now and the saline they gave me is making me have to pee 5000 times but the Snip is done and now I never have to worry about pregnancy ever again!!! 💜💜💜

17 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#2

"I don't look the same to everybody...they used to say i was the most beautiful. Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So now I look like whatever is the most beautiful face mortals have ever seen" Brennan quit making me cry over a betrayer god

22 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Got tagged by @sheshatefulandsoami for this prompt: combining this picrew and this uquiz!

Yeah I can see that LMAO. This picrew didn't have the best hair options IMO so I did my best to represent my super grown out roots and faded bleached ends

Im tagging @glitterandmoondustofficial @tridentariism @condemned-titan @mommymayi-iwillanyway and anybody else who sees this and wants to do it!

22 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kalluzeb4later]

I posted 150 times in 2022

That's 150 more posts than 2021!

6 posts created (4%)

144 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@drunkenmantis

@gettiregretti

@talon4ever

@jellysharkbat

@wantonwhale

I tagged 147 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#alexsandr kallus - 82 posts

#kalluzeb - 68 posts

#art - 53 posts

#garazeb orrelios - 52 posts

#fic - 40 posts

#fanart - 35 posts

#kallus - 34 posts

#fanfic - 30 posts

#fan art - 30 posts

#rebel kallus - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#he came to the conclusion that he is and shortly began plotting his betrayal to the empire or something idk i didnt watch season 3 ♥

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Soulmate au snippet

1/?

Inspired by “He Will Always Say the Words” by MommyMayI on AO3 (specifically chp 3. Im gonna make things just a bit worse for Kallus. Why is he just so… whumpable?)

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Zeb was getting angry.

“Come on open your eyes and let’s show ‘em.” Zeb cajoled him.

Kallus kept his eyes firmly shut.

“Just open them and we can show them they are wrong.” Zeb roared.

Kallus would have jumped from his seat if he wasn’t bound to it. Despite his best efforts his body was now shaking.

His limbs felt like ice, the sensation creeping towards his center, before a sudden lurching pain from deep within caused him to vomit.

Kallus had just enough sense to turn his head towards the side before the burning bile in his throat could spill on himself.

He could vaguely hear the sounds of panic from the rebels ,as they no doubt flinched back in disgust, over the horrid sensations wracking his body currently. Every muscle in his was contracted, held taut, and beginning to burn with strain as the vomit just KEPT COMING. He’d had horrible hangovers and thought times from his ISB training with different substances but this was something else. Something deeper, more painful, and terrifyingly cold. It felt like something important was being expelled with each retch, something vital that he was sorry to lose.

He couldn’t help opening his eyes and saw that whatever was spilling out of him was not food, bile, or blood that he suspected. Whatever it was was black.

He couldn’t focus on everything the rebels were saying as their voices climbed in pitch with their panic. He could only make out the Jedi screaming “soul sickness” before losing his breath and consciousness. His eyes rolled back and faded to black just as he felt the lasat’s hand catch his face to try and turn him to face him.

TBC

3 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

I understand why if you drew Kallus as a lasat you would keep him blonde/yellow to match his human hair

BUT

I want to go on record and say that I think if Kallus was to be true to lasat color tones (which appear to be gem tones) …

He would be pink

☺️🥰😆

7 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#3

Fic idea

Swap/dimension hop au

(Non-con elements)

—

Kallus and Zeb (and maybe some other rebels) from the canon dimension end up in an alternate universe where Kallus was always a rebel and Zeb was an Imperial lasat. One of FEW Xenos in the Imperial Navy due to his battle prowess (similar to Thrawn)

Kallus and Zeb are on the run from the Empire when Kallus is tripped up and falls behind. He combats with the Imperial Lasat thinking maybe this is the one from Onderon who ended up here instead of with Saw Gerrera

Kallus loses and is at the lasats mercy when the Lasat removes his helmet and it’s an alternate Zeb.

Kallus is devastated to see it.

Things get worse when Kallus notices how the Imperial Zeb is looking at him. Zeb from his dimension never looked at him that hungrily or cruelly.

He quickly forms a desperate plan. A way to live a little longer and distract from his allies’ escape. He thinks he knows what this Lasat likes and subtly ups his vulnerability and plays the right body language to entice without being too obvious.

The Imperial Zeb takes the bait and his prize. Kallus plays into it and dissociates: imaging HIS Zeb despite nothing ever happening between them or any sign of mutual attraction (as far as he knows) in their own dimension.

He imagines/laments another time and another place and does what his dimension taught him: hope

( it would probably just be a smutty snippet for no reason other than I saw the fan art of an Imperial Zeb and this idea wouldn’t leave me alone. Kallus will do anything at his own expense for the rebellion)

14 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

#2

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jun (@junchan_nyan_art)

47 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Found a fic and a fanart match up. I thought I reblogged the fic but couldn’t find it again so I’m posting it here with another artists Instagram art I found to match the story

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Erik Pekny (@zebrakrebs_)

74 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mommy-may-i-blog]

Home Away

As I said in my previous post we are having this baby back in our hometown so if I forget something that I need it becomes more of an inconvenience to have to get it. Driving back home for it is not only a waste of time and gas but also just simply annoying. Whereas if we run out and buy it because I forgot it then it becomes a waste of money because I already have it just at home. So with out anymore moaning and groaning, here is what I am packing in my hospital bag.

Standard Supplies

There are things I think every woman needs when headed to the hospital to have a baby...and I am no different. Comfy pajamas are a must in my opinion. I am not the type of person who can just sit in a hospital gown the whole time I am there, so once I get the okay I change into something I am more comfortable in. I think this is because I hate being in clothes many other people have worn many of times longer than I have to. This go around I am just going to bring a pair of basket ball shorts since Blake has gotten me two things that will work for this category (keep reading to find out what those are).

Another obvious is a going home outfit. For this I suggest something with and elastic band (avoid jeans) ie; yoga pants, leggings, or gym shorts. I am going the route of comfy pants and a shirt. These pants are nice and baggy, as well as being thin so I won't be uncomfortable. I wouldn’t suggest these exact pants if you are getting a c-section because the waist band isn’t the most comforting thing, not that I even remember where I got them anyway.

Nonslip socks and/or slippers are a must, unless you enjoy getting free stuff from the hospital. (Most) Hospitals require that you have nonslip socks or slippers on when you are walking around. Some of you may be thinking theres no way in hell you are going to be up moving around but if your labor is taking a zillion hours theres no way you are going to be sitting in bed the whole time, your nurses will probably encourage you to get up and more around anyway. Another good reason is incase your little one winds up in NICU and you have to walk to go visit them. With that said I got these awesome socks from amazon and I think they're hilarious.

Oh! Here’s an after thought for you... When you're pushing do your really want a bunch of people touching your bare feet? Imagine even having your bare feet in those stir-ups that so many people have touched. No thanks.

Finally lets talk underwear. Once you get to leave those (amazing) mesh underwear you get in the hospital you are going to want something comfy down there. I suggest getting some Fruit of the Loom granny panties a size larger than what you would normally get. Getting a size bigger will not only be more comfortable during your recovery time but will also hold your postpartum pads much easier. Whatever you do, do not go out and get a bunch of Victoria Secret underwear no matter how good the sale is. These underwear you are getting have a 90% chance of getting ruined, I’m just trying to save you from wasting the money.

Princess Products

This section is going to be filled with stuff most people would think I was weird for bringing, but I’m doing it anyway.

Since I am an advocate for breast feeding I am obviously packing all of my breast feeding products, such as; nursing bra, breast pads, and a breast pump. I am bringing a nursing bra not only for when people are around to visit but also for going home incase we stop anywhere before getting to our house. Breast pads are honestly something I think every should bring whether or not you are breast feeding because your body will still produce and leak milk in the beginning. Fun Fact: if you get the reusable pads (even if you're not BFing) you care wear them and put them under the sheet of where baby sleeps and it will help comfort them while they sleep because they will have your scent with them. Lastly I am bringing my own breast pump only because I don’t respond to Medela pumps which is what my hospital provides.

Blake got me these hospital gown type “dresses” and I am going to bring one if not both of them. I am not sure if my hospital lets moms wear their own gowns but these are made for labor, delivery, and nursing so I am taking them for at least the nursing aspect of them. I am also bringing my phone and charger, but who wouldn’t. Another “silly” thing I am bringing is my make up for self confidence reasons. I know people are going to say that I don’t need to worry about it but I hate looking back at pictures of me from when Dexter was born because I look like I’d been hit by a truck and on extremely heavy medications. Since neither of which were true it means thats what I really looked like and I hate it. So to combat those feelings I am bringing my make up, this will help me stop thinking about what I look like and be more focused on our growing family. 

Lastly, I am bringing snacks. The hospital does provide you with breakfast, lunch, and dinner for all the times you are there which is great, however sometimes the options you are given are not the best or the portion size is extremely small. With all that being said I am just bringing some breast feeding friendly snacks like Clif bars and my big water bottle. I plan on picking up a bigger water bottle if I have time but for now this is the one I plan on using. The hospital will give me water all day long, plus I will have a bathroom attached to our room, but I drink A LOT of water and even more when I’m nursing so having a large bottle with me to constantly fill up just makes life a little easier.

Terrific Toiletries

I got this little bag in my Amazon welcome baby box and it is the perfect size for all the toiletries I am packing. Some obvious things I am taking with me is my tooth care things, if you don’t have a lot of room I suggest getting travel size tooth paste but this bag is pretty spacious so I’m not too worried. As for my hair I am bringing my hair brush, hair ties, headbands, and travel size shampoo and conditioner. The hair brush is obvious, you gotta brush your hair or you look like a mess and not a hot one either. Hair ties and headbands are helpful for delivery because there is nothing more annoying  than having hair in your face while you are trying to push out a freaking baby. Getting travel size shampoo and conditioner because it takes up less space in my bag but also because Blake is going to want to take a shower where ever he and Dexter end up staying and we share shampoo and conditioner. I am not bringing body wash because the hospital provides a body wash that helps keeps your newly tortured lady bits clean and healthy. Finally I am also bringing lip balm and over night period pads. Lip balm is for during delivery because the breathing you do while pushing dries your lips out so fast. I currently have this EOS stick but I would prefer a basic carmex stick because it is my favorite. I suggest a stick chapstick, not the liquid, because then your partner or whomever is with you can assist with the application when you’re exhausted. Lastly the big pads are for going home just in case I run out of the pads from the hospital and don’t end up getting anymore from them.

Mama Tip: Before you are close to be discharged pack up what you have left of the bathroom stuff the hospital gives you like the pads, underwear, and witch hazel pads (and the baby diapers). Then tell them that you need more because whatever you use in your room you get to take home and those things are amazing once you’re home.

[mommy-may-i-blog]

Over the Bump

My Body, My Baby.

Any pregnant women can tell you they have a goal for their pregnancy. 

It could be to just have a healthy pregnancy, or maybe to stay fit. When I was pregnant with Dexter my goal was to enjoy every minute of it, as long as he was healthy I didn’t care, I wanted every aspect of pregnancy. With this little one however my goal is to maintain my weight. After Dexter was born I instantly lost about 10 pounds, but then we got into our breastfeeding routine and I gained it all back and then some. I was horrified when I stepped on the scale to find out that at 5 months postpartum I weighed the exact same at 9 months pregnant. So with this pregnancy I have decided to be a little more weight conscious and want to stay under a 25lb weight gain. What does that mean for the precious cargo? Nothing. Baby is growing at great speeds and we have been given 2 thumbs that development looks good. Baby at this point is about 14 inches and weighing 2 pounds, roughly the size of a rutabaga. Immune system is growing, lungs are being exercised, and “dreams” are developing.

My favorite thing about the second trimester is that symptoms tend to lighten up quite a bit. Morning sickness starts becoming more a surprise rather than every single morning. Cravings this trimester have become more than just “everything”. It started out as pasta but has become peanut butter and jelly and milk. Milk has become my biggest craving whether its with dinner, breakfast, snacks, or even on its own. This trimester has brought with it food aversions to greasy foods and garlic, lightheadedness, dizziness, and extreme exhaustion. I am finding that at night it is so hard to fall asleep but during the day it feels impossible to stay awake, which is not good when I have a toddler running around and getting into everything.

It’s a Princess!

A day shy of 20 weeks we found out that we will be having a little girl!

I really wanted another boy just because we already have an entire wardrobe and I know what to expect. On our way to the ultrasound I asked Blake what he thought we were going to have and without an ounce of hesitation he said girl. Sitting in the room staring at the screen as the tech was looking at all the body parts she finally stopped and said “can you see what I’m looking at? Here’s a leg…” I concentrated so hard to see a little baby penis and it wasn’t there. The tech quickly filled the silence with, “it’s a girl.” For about a split second my heart sank and I was terrified but then I was excited for a new adventure, and lets not even get into the clothes I know get to look forward to. The things I’m most worried about is that I have never seen myself as a woman who would raise a girl. I suck at doing hair and rarely ever do make up so I part of me hopes she grows up as a little tomboy, BUT if she is the biggest girly girly in the world you can bet your ass that I will be researching and studying to make sure that she can ask me anything. I am scared to raise a girl in the current world we live in but I am up for the task.

Becoming a Big Brother

Dexter’s “big brother” development this trimester has been crazy.

At the beginning of the trimester he was constantly pulling up my shirt to talk to, kiss, and give raspberries to his “bebe”. He would shove his face into my stomach and just gab away often repeating “mama” and “dada” so it was almost like he was introducing us to her and getting her ready for life after birth. Now as she has grown so much he has backed off her a quite a bit. He often tries to jump and stand on my belly so I have to remind him to be gentle of sissy, to which he often just kisses my stomach almost in and I’m sorry type of way. When ever I am rocking him to sleep we sing the same 3 songs and that is typically the time baby is the most active. She will kick Dexter almost every time him and I are cuddling and his reactions depend on his current mood. Sometimes he giggles and will “play” with her, while other times he gets mad and tells her no. The latter is actually pretty rare though. The closer we get to her arrival I have noticed Dexter role playing with stuffed animals and baby dolls more often. He gives them hugs and kisses as well as putting them down for naps. I am very excited to see the big brother he turns out to be, and even though he may not fully understand that he’s getting a little sister I think he’s excited to have “his own” baby.

Looking Forward

Things are going to get pretty intense since this is the final stretch...literally.

As I enter the final trimester I am starting to get antsy. I am constantly in pain whether it be my back, pelvis, or lower abdomen. Little miss is going to have a huge growth spurt, if she follows in her brothers foot steps, which means I will be having a growth spurt as well. I am hoping to keep the third trimester weight gain under 5 pounds which sounds easy enough but this trimester is where I feel like I am always hungry. To wrap up this trimester I will be scheduling my last ultrasound for 35 weeks, which is the end of March/start of April. Around that same time I will be starting to increase the amount of oatmeal I eat to help with milk production for just incase situations at the hospital. Then obviously we will be setting up the house for her arrival as well as welcoming her to the world.

[mommy-may-i-blog]

Pan!c At The Holiday

Everyone always assumes that people with anxiety only have panic/anxiety attacks when something is happening. I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. 

Holiday Horrors

I’m not a professional so I can’t say for sure but I feel like people have more panic attacks during holiday times than any other time during the year.

And when you think about it, it kinda makes sense. People tend to be in constant worry about finding the perfect gift for every person. Then once all gifts have been found some will begin to worry that they spent too much or not enough money...even if they didn’t. After all is said and done the next thing in their mind is the fact that all eyes will be on them when they have to now give and receive gifts. With all the pressure and attention its no wonder people feel anxious or panicked, it happens. Even people who don’t suffer constantly I’m sure do to some degree.

Merry Mess

Today was a great day, but my body betrayed me.

We went up to Bronners in Frankenmuth for our annual Christmas ornament shop. It was Dexter’s first time being able to understand what was going on and he loved it. He kept pointing at all of the lights and decorations saying, “Ma wow”. He enjoyed looking at all of the Christmas villages with daddy and waving at all the Santa statues telling them hi. On our drive home we stopped and had lunch where we joked and laughed at the table waiting for our food. After eating we jumped back into the car to finish our drive home. Little man fell asleep and Blake and I carried on talking and laughing….then bam! Out of nowhere it hits, my chest tightens, my heart races, and it suddenly becomes difficult to breathe…but why? I was joking and laughing with my boyfriend without a care in the world. My mind wasn’t wandering like it normally does, taking me to the dark depths of my brain. I acknowledged the panic attack out loud, telling Blake that is was happening and he asked why. I was honest, not to benefit him but to control my insides. “I don’t know,” I truly didn’t, “I have no reason to.” Then all of a sudden as if it never happened, it was over. Maybe it was because I addressed it, maybe because it was over, maybe my body was having too much fun. Regardless it happened.

Joyful Journey

I get panic attacks frequently, rarely do they manifest to my outside life.

I get them so frequently now that I can carry on doing whatever it is that I am doing without it effecting me and without anyone around even noticing. it wasn’t always this way, the first time I recall it happening I was sitting on the front porch at my moms. Nothing was going on, a group of family and friends were all outside talking and laughing, all of a sudden I was hyperventilating and couldn’t breathe. My mom told me I was having a panic attack, to which I denied. Having understanding what was happening and realizing that I didn’t like being on anxiety meds (and natural remedies didn’t work) I chose to figure out how to live with them. Here we are years later, many of trial and errors, and now I tell myself to suck it up. Sure it’s not the healthiest way of dealing with things but it works for me, it makes me feel like I am taking control over my life (it’s the one thing I know I can control without question).

[mommy-may-i-blog]

Christmas Traditions

Last year I talked about some traditions that we as a family have, so this season I figured I’d tell you some I’m not too fond of.

Decorating On Dec. 1st

The idea of waiting until December to decorate you house is actually quite annoying to me. I hate hearing people say that you have to let Thanksgiving happen before you can put anything up. So you mean to tell me that I’m not allowed to make my house cheerful and holly jolly because I have to wait until have I eat turkey? Why? What is one good reason for that? People spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on christmas decorations only for society to tell them that they are only allowed to have them up for 25-30 days out of the year. Fuck that. To be honest if I could have my Christmas tree up all year round and just decorate it differently for every month I totally would.

Ugly Christmas Sweaters 

Ugly sweater parties are weird to me for two reasons. First because it’s strange to me to buy clothes that are deemed ugly. Which leads me to believe that it’s not really an ugly sweater party, it’s a party to see who can look the best in something that you wouldn’t wear normally. Secondly because its just a continued popularity contest. Those that were popular in high school and/or college tend to be the ones who have these parties, and its weird to me to watch women try to make a sweater with Santa’s ass crack hanging out look sexy.

Christmas Eve Boxes

This one may make me seem like I am a Grinch but I don’t think kids need Christmas Eve boxes. I should address, for those that don’t know what a Christmas Eve box even is, this is a present the child receives and gets to open on Christmas Eve. The gift can contain things such as new pajamas, a new Christmas movie, a snack, a book, even toys. Lately Elf on a Shelf has been dropping them off as a farewell gift when they head back to the North Pole. So why will my child never receive such thing? Mainly because he doesn’t need it, but also because a gift to open on Christmas Eve kind of defeats the purpose of waiting until Christmas to open presents. Not to mention we go to a million Christmas’ and getting a Christmas Eve box just seems like it would lessen the value of all the other gifts he was receiving that day.

Elaborate “Homemade” Advent Calendars

I want to start by saying I am all for the advent calendars that have the small piece of chocolate behind each door. I however am totally against a whole fucking present every single day of the month. If a child is getting a present every day for the entire month I think it would either make the child not appreciate all the gifts they would wake up to Christmas morning or it would burn them out from opening presents. Either way this is not something I am into. I have seen parents who go nuts and drive themselves absolutely crazy trying to find the perfect sized gift for every single day. It wouldn’t be something I would consider doing of one child, so those with more than one seem completely crazy.

[mommy-may-i-blog]

11 Month Up Date- Leaps and Bounds

Last month I got a little worried that Dexter wasn’t progressing much and then one day it all kicked off, but before I get there lets get to the basics. Although it doesn’t seem like much Dexter put on a few ounces this month and grew a whole inch, thus putting him at a solid 19 pounds 27 inches.

Dexter’s personal development as well as his physical development has skyrocketed this month. His personality has grown so much and has become one of the best things to watch. He has developed little quirks about him that make Blake and I both wonder where he gets it from. Dexter now expresses want he wants whether its a tv show, a new toy, more food, or even to go lay down. He expresses his wants with both verbal and physical signals rather than just crying for everything. He will also mock certain noises and phrases such as uh-oh and ew.

Dex is still a very independent player but he has found a love for books and its absolutely wonderful. He brings certain books to you and wants you to read to him and it is never ending, but at least its always a different book. If he’s not bringing them to you to read then he is usually sitting or laying on the floor flipping through the pages gabbing away to himself (or his imaginary friends).

This month my little man has surprised me so much. Not only has he popped in his two top teeth,but he has also learned to stand up without having to pull himself up. But that’s boring stuff to what he did to surprise us this month. Dexter is walking! He was holding onto the couch one moment and when I looked back over he was walking across the living room all on his own. I was so proud of him that I cried then I had to figure out how I was going to show Blake since he was at work. So yes I bribed him with snacks. Now there is no stopping him.

So what’s next? Honestly who knows because he is his own person who continues to surprise us at every turn. We do hope however to get him talking more, as well as picking up his own toys, and even start introducing the potty to him.

[mommy-may-i-blog]

9 Month Check Up- Adventures and Attitudes

Dexter has slowed down a lot when it comes to his physical growth, which is fine because both of his parents are small. This month he is 26.5 inches and weighs 19 lbs, this means he is over double his birth weight and has grown 5.5 inches since birth. He still only has 2 teeth but that doesn’t stop him from eating literally everything in his sight. So although physically he has slowed down, mentally he is still full force ahead. He walks along furniture and speed crawls all the time. Currently he is working on standing without holding on and even thinking about taking a few steps on his own.

One of the big things that happened is we took a family vacation to Florida for a week. We made the 18 hour drive from Michigan to Florida and had a great time. We stopped in Tennessee and Dexter got to experience an aquarium for the first time, which he loved. While in Florida he got to swim in a pool for the first time and got to really experience that type of weather for the “first time”. Some things we got to do as a family was going to; Disney Springs, City Walk, Gatorland, Islands of Adventure, and Magic Kingdom.

Disney Springs and City Walk didn’t really hold Dexter’s interest too well but they were still enjoyable to go to. Disney Springs had a Lego store and a couple Disney stores that were kind of cool for him but I think he was still a little too young to enjoy it fully.

Gatorland was one of those things that we weren’t sure if he was going to enjoy at all, but to our surprise he took a little bit of an interest in it. He loved being able to walk along the path and see all of the Gators. He did however like the gators that were behind glass rather than the free roaming ones. I guess you could say he’s pretty smart.

Islands of Adventure is something I probably wouldn’t do again until he is older. There were only about 3 things he could do in the whole park. He could do the “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” ride in Seuss Landing, as well as the carousel in that area of the park as well, and he could do the Poseidon Tour in the Last Continent. However he did not enjoy the tour because it was too loud and dark.

Magic Kingdom, in my eyes, was worth it. Dexter went on Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin (which he slept through), Haunted Mansion (he only cried when the ride stopped), It’s a small world (put him to sleep), Peter Pan’s Flight (he hated the line but loved the ride),Swiss Family Treehouse (it was just a walk through but was still kind of cool), The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (didn’t really have a reaction to this one at all), and Under the Sea ~ Journey of The Little Mermaid (this was his favorite because of the music and colors). Some other rides/shows he could have gone on but we decided to skip were

Astro Orbiter

Casey Jr. Splash ‘N’ Soak Station

Country Bear Jamboree (Show)

Dumbo the Flying Elephant

Enchanted Tales with Belle (Show)

Frontier land Shootin’ Arcade

Jungle Cruise

Liberty Square Riverboat

Mad Tea Party

Mickey’s PhilharMagic (Show)

Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor (Show)

Pirate’s of the Caribbean

Prince Charming Regal Carrousel

The Hall of Presidents (Show)

The Magic Carpets of Aladdin

Tom Sawyer Island (Walk Through)

Tomorrowland Arcade

Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room (Show)

We skipped a lot of them because we wanted to hit the main ones before he was over it for the day. And luckily we made it through the ones we wanted before he passed out. We went to Magic Kingdom on a Wednesday, in May, and tried to get there when the gates opened but it took us just over an hour from paying for parking to walking into the park. All in all I think this park was the most worth it and the only thing I would do differently is try and meet some characters. With everything that we did get to do we were in the park for about 4 hours which like I said was just enough time for Dexter.

One thing that our vacation brought out in our little man is an attitude. He is becoming more independent but the things he wants to do he is still a little small for. This causes him to get frustrated and act out. He yells, growls, clenches his fists, slams things down, hits, and pulls hair. So if you ever want to see what a temper tantrum looks like on a 9 month old just come spend some time with my kiddo.

[mommy-may-i-blog]

BlogMas Day 19: Preparing for Christmas

I have many things to do to prepare for Christmas, but everything on my list can be easily accomplished this week. Which I guess is a good thing because I only have a week left to do it. So here is what my week officially looks like.

Today (Tuesday)

Start making small goodies

Wednesday

Make sure all Games are in order

Thursday

Clean kitchen and bathroom spotless

Friday

Make party bags

Saturday

Make dessert

Sunday

Prepare all hot foods

Go to first holiday party

Come home and vacuum 

Put hot foods in oven

Make drink

Have a great party!

Sure it doesn't seem like too much but in-between all of that I also have to take care of myself and my little Bug-A-Boo.