#monday com hacks

[bashamanik]

A Guide to Managing Columns and Prioritizing with Views in monday.com | Tara Horn

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[newstfionline]

Tuesday, October 8, 2024

Hurricane Milton strengthens into a Category 5 as Florida begins evacuations (AP) Milton rapidly strengthened into a Category 5 hurricane Monday in the Gulf of Mexico on a path toward Florida, threatening a dangerous storm surge in Tampa Bay, leading to evacuation orders and long gas lines, and lending more urgency to the cleanup from Hurricane Helene, which swamped the same stretch of coastline less than two weeks ago. The storm’s center could come ashore Wednesday in the Tampa Bay area, and it could remain a hurricane as it moves across central Florida toward the Atlantic Ocean, forecasters say.

Growing the debt (NPR) A new report has found that both Harris’ and Trump's economic plans would increase the national debt. According to the nonpartisan nonprofit Committee for Responsible Federal Budget, Trump's plan would add an estimated $7.5 trillion to the nation's debt over the next decade, while Harris' proposals would cost the government an estimated $3.5 trillion. The committee has cautioned that there could be a future fiscal crisis if politicians do not take more decisive action on the national debt.

Police seldom disclose use of facial recognition despite false arrests (Washington Post) Hundreds of Americans have been arrested after being connected to a crime by facial recognition software, a Washington Post investigation has found, but many never know it because police seldom disclose their use of the controversial technology. Police departments in 15 states provided The Post with rarely seen records documenting their use of facial recognition in more than 1,000 criminal investigations over the past four years. According to the arrest reports in those cases and interviews with people who were arrested, authorities routinely failed to inform defendants about their use of the software—denying them the opportunity to contest the results of an emerging technology that is prone to error, especially when identifying people of color.

Juvenile Cyber Criminals (WSJ) The February 2022 hack of AI chip-maker Nvidia was one of the strangest cases ever. Someone—or some group—had stolen the crown jewels from one of the world’s most important tech companies and then acted like a bunch of kids on Telegram. They said they’d stolen some “juicy ass source code,” and demanded that Nvidia make its products easier for videogame players to use. It turned out that the Nvidia hackers acted like kids because they were, in fact, kids. They’re part of a new cybersecurity community that has become a bigger and bigger problem for law enforcement over the past few years. Calling themselves the Com, the kids have moved from giving each other grief in online games to stealing cryptocurrency and extorting some of the world’s most important companies, including Microsoft, Samsung, Uber and Rockstar Games. One of these hackers was Arion Kurtaj. Last year, fearing Kurtaj would simply never stop hacking, a British judge ordered him confined to a secure mental-health ward until doctors deem him to no longer be a public danger. Kurtaj was 17 when he hacked Nvidia, but he was just 11 when he started his life of cybercrime. He’s now the most notorious member of the Com. Other members are often so young that they have little fear of incarceration. They’re also so destructive that it’s hard to predict what they will do when they break into a computer network. A few months before the Nvidia hack, Kurtaj and his associates had deleted Brazil’s database of Covid vaccinations.

Mexican mayor assassinated days after taking office (Reuters) The mayor of the capital of Mexico’s violence-plagued state of Guerrero was killed on Sunday less than a week after he took office, the state’s governor confirmed. Alejandro Arcos was killed just six days after he took office as mayor of the city of Chilpancingo, a city of around 280,000 people in southwestern Mexico. The official confirmation came after photos circulated on messaging app WhatsApp depicting a severed head on top of a pick-up truck, appearing to be that of Arcos. Guerrero has become one of the deadliest states for aspiring and elected public officials, as well as for journalists.

Freed Russian arms dealer Bout back in weapons business, WSJ reports (Reuters) Viktor Bout, the Russian arms dealer who was jailed in the United States and then swapped two years ago for the U.S. basketball star Brittney Griner, is back in international arms trade, the Wall Street Journal reported on Sunday. Citing an unnamed European security source and other anonymous sources familiar with the matter, the WSJ wrote that Bout, dubbed “the merchant of death” is trying to broker the sale of small arms to Yemen’s Houthi militants. “When Houthi emissaries went to Moscow in August to negotiate the purchase of $10 million worth of automatic weapons, they encountered a familiar face: the mustachioed Bout,” the newspaper reported, citing its sources. The potential arms transfers stop well short of the sale of Russian anti-ship or anti-air missiles that could pose a significant threat to the U.S. military’s efforts to protect international shipping from the Houthis’ attacks, it added. Bout was one of the world’s most wanted men prior to his 2008 arrest in Thailand on multiple charges related to arms trafficking. His notoriety was such that his life helped inspire a Hollywood film, 2005’s Lord of War, starring Nicolas Cage.

Ukraine’s Donbas Strategy: Retreat Slowly and Maximize Russia’s Losses (NYT) Throughout the year, Ukraine has lost a series of cities, towns and villages in its eastern Donbas region to Russia, typically withdrawing its troops after hard-fought battles that sometimes lasted for months. To outside observers, Ukraine’s slow but steady retreat from the Donbas region, the main theater of the war today, may seem to signal the beginning of the endgame, with Moscow firmly gaining the upper hand on the battlefield, leveraging its overwhelming advantage in manpower and firepower. But Ukrainian commanders and military experts dispute that, saying that a more crucial fight is unfolding in the region that goes beyond simple territorial gains and losses. It is now a war of attrition, they say, with each side trying to exhaust the other by inflicting maximum losses, hoping to break the enemy’s capacity and will to continue the war.

Water stress in the Middle East and North Africa (Rane Worldview) In recent years, water stress in the Middle East and North Africa has become a more acute threat to the stability of both individual states and the broader region amid a constant struggle for control and management of this increasingly scarce vital resource. Countries’ mismanagement of their water supplies over the decades has worsened the situation in the region, where the predominantly hot and dry climate already exacerbates water shortages. The rapid population growth many countries are experiencing has also heightened the demand for limited fresh water. Against this backdrop, access to water supplies has become an increasing driver of conflict between both states and non-state actors in the Middle East and North Africa, as well as a catalyst for social unrest.

U.S. Citizens in Lebanon Feel Abandoned by the State Department as Israel Invades (The Intercept) After Israel dropped more than 80 bombs, including American-made 2,000-lb bombs, on residential buildings in a suburb of Beirut, Hana Bechara, one of 86,000 U.S. citizens who live in Lebanon, decided it was time to leave. She reached out to the U.S. embassy in Beirut. As the strikes continue, Bechara said the response from the U.S. has been vague and unhelpful. State Department officials have sent her generic security alerts urging her to contact commercial airlines directly for flights out, while acknowledging that airlines were “at reduced capacity,” according to emails reviewed by The Intercept. The most recent email from the embassy sent Monday said they were unable to assist her family but offered to “help U.S. citizens and immediate family members leave Lebanon very soon” without further elaborating on a timeline or the type of assistance. (Meanwhile, the United Kingdom, Belgium, Canada, Bulgaria, and Cyprus have all begun to evacuate their citizens on charter flights or government planes.) “We, and the U.S. citizens in Palestine, are being treated differently than other U.S. citizens who are in way less danger than we are,” Bechara said. Bechara and many other Americans stuck in Lebanon have contrasted the State Department’s responses to the sense of urgency and level of assistance Americans in Israel received following the October 7 attacks. Within several days of the attacks, the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem offered American citizens prearranged charter flights and boat rides to leave the country.

One Year After Oct. 7, Israel Sees a Future at War (WSJ) Weathering an Iranian missile assault, ignoring calls for a Gaza cease-fire, masterminding attacks against Hezbollah, targeting Houthi rebels in Yemen, rooting out militancy in the occupied West Bank and planning its next steps against Iran mark a shift in Israel’s security posture. For years, the military aimed for long stretches of peace that were only momentarily punctured by short conflicts with Palestinian militants. Much of Israel’s security establishment now believes this lay the groundwork for the Oct. 7 attack that killed 1,200 people and took another 250 hostage. Israel can no longer allow its enemies the time and space to build arsenals, many have come to believe. “Pre-emptive wars will be in the future part of the Israeli tool kit,” said Yaakov Amidror, a former Israeli national security adviser. Without seeking political and diplomatic solutions, “it’s a matter of endless war,” said Tamir Hayman, a former head of Israeli military intelligence and executive director of the Tel Aviv-based think tank Institute for National Security Studies.

‘Violence begets violence’ (Foreign Policy) Pope Francis said “the fuse of hatred” had been lit a year ago and “exploded in a spiral of violence—in the shameful inability of the international community and the most powerful countries to silence the weapons and put an end to the tragedy of war.” “The war that has raged over the past year continues to shatter lives and inflict profound human suffering for Israelis, Palestinians, and now the people of Lebanon,” said Tor Wennesland, the U.N. special coordinator for the Middle East peace process. “Violence begets violence, and in these moments of grief, we must reaffirm our commitment to peace.”

Gaza is in ruins (AP) The Gaza Strip is in ruins. There are hills of rubble where apartment blocks stood, and pools of sewage-tainted water spreading disease. City streets have been churned into dirt canyons and, in many places, the air is filled with the stench of unrecovered corpses. Israel’s yearlong offensive against Hamas, one of the deadliest and most destructive in recent history, has killed more than 41,000 people, a little over half of them women and children, according to local health officials (with another 97,000 other injured). With no end in sight to the war and no plan for the day after, it is impossible to say when—or even if—anything will be rebuilt. Even after the fighting stops, hundreds of thousands of people could be stuck living in squalid tent camps for years. Experts say reconstruction could take decades. The fighting left roughly a quarter of all structures in Gaza destroyed or severely damaged, according to a U.N. assessment in September based on satellite footage. The U.N. estimates the war has left some 40 million tons of debris and rubble in Gaza, enough to fill New York’s Central Park to a depth of eight meters (about 25 feet). It could take up to 15 years and nearly $650 million to clear it all away, it said. Gaza’s water and sanitation system has collapsed. More than 80% of its health facilities—and even more of its roads—are damaged or destroyed. Around 90% of Gaza’s 2.3 million people have been displaced by the war, often multiple times. Hundreds of thousands have crowded into sprawling tent camps near the coast with no electricity, running water or toilets. Hunger is widespread.

Deadly Marburg Virus Hits Rwanda’s Doctors and Nurses Hard (NYT) Rwanda’s fragile health care system could become overwhelmed by the deadly Marburg virus, doctors fear, because most of those currently infected are medical professionals, and some have already died. Since the first outbreak in the country last month, at least 30 medical workers have been infected, and at least four have died. Among the infected are two of the country’s scarce anesthesiologists. More medical staff members are isolated in hospital wards in the capital, Kigali. The health care system, with approximately 1,500 doctors and fewer than 40 anesthesiologists for a nation of just over 13 million people, could face significant strain.

[tvrundownusa]

tvrundown USA 2025.04.07

Monday, April 7th:

(exclusive): Kill Tony: "Kill or Be Killed" (netflix, comedy special), "Not Just A Goof" (dsn+, documentary: the Untold Story of "A Goofy Movie")

(streaming shows): Blackshore (AcornTV, season 1 finale), Recipes for Love and Murder (AcornTV, penultimate), The Chelsea Detective (AcornTV, season 3 opener), Murdoch Mysteries (AcornTV), The Divorce Insurance (APrime), "Rhythm + Flow: Italy" (netflix, next 3 eps)

(also new): TMZ Presents: "The Menendez Brothers: Prison Interview" (FOX), Hacks (TBS, ~80mins, season 1 marathon finale)

(hour 1): MobLand (SHO), Extracted (FOX), The Voice (NBC, 2hrs), American Idol (ABC, 2hrs), Spring Baking Championship (FOOD), Murdoch Mysteries (OVAtion, penultimate), All American (theCW, repeat)

(hour 2): Yellowjackets (SHO, penultimate reair), The Voice (NBC, contd), American Idol (ABC, contd), "Celtics City" (HBO), "Gypsy Rose: Life After Lock Up" (LIFE)

(hour 3): Happy Face (SHO), The Hunting Party (NBC, season 1 finale), Paradise (ABC, Hulu's dark drama thriller, broadcast premiere), "Confessions of Octomom" (LIFE, part 5 of six)

(hour 4 - latenight): The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart (COM)

[preempted, returning next week: The Neighborhood (CBS) / . / Poppa's House (CBS), NCIS (CBS), NCIS: Origins (CBS), History's Greatest Mysteries (HIST) ]

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[index11]

Coronavirus live updates: 300K dead; Health care workers across US get first COVID-19 vaccine doses

The United States is now marking a wrenching 300,000 deaths from COVID-19.

After becoming the first country to cross that threshold Monday, the U.S. is in store for a lot more pain. Experts fear the nation is heading inexorably toward the next milestone of surpassing the total of American fatalities in World War II – about 405,000 – even as vaccines come to distribution sites across the country.

A weeks-long surge in coronavirus transmission has led to an average of more than 210,000 new infections and nearly 2,500 deaths a day this month. Despite the positive news on the vaccine front, the U.S. is still battling overcrowded hospitals and shrinking ICU capacity.

But there is hope down the line. Health care workers across the United States received the first doses of a COVID-19 vaccine Monday, a landmark step in the country's fight against the coronavirus pandemic.

A nurse in New York City became the first person in that state – and likely the nation – to receive a dose of the Pfizer/BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine, the only one so far authorized in the U.S to combat the coronavirus.

"I feel hopeful today," said Sandra Lindsay, the critical care nurse at New York's Long Island Jewish Medical Center, after she received the shot.

Vaccinations also occurred in North Carolina, Rhode Island, Florida, Ohio and several other states. A total of 145 sites were to receive vaccines Monday, 425 on Tuesday and 66 on Wednesday, Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar said.

📈 Today's numbers: The U.S. has reported more than 16.4 million cases and 300,500 deaths, according to Johns Hopkins University data. The global totals: 72.7 million cases and nearly 1.62 million deaths.

📰 What we're reading: We're answering your questions about the vaccine, like: What are the side effects? Can you still get sick? Is it safe during pregnancy? Get the answers here.

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West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice, state officials receive vaccine

West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice became one of the first top elected officials in the country to receive a coronavirus shot on Monday night, saying “it's as safe as can be.”

He and aides received the injections even though the state’s rollout is supposed to prioritize giving the highly sought-after doses to health care workers and people in long-term care centers. Justice has said West Virginia does not expect to receive enough doses in the initial few weeks of rollout to fully cover the over 100,000 people who work in health care, live or work in long-term care centers, or are first responders and public health officials.

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Wearing a mask, he received a jab in his right arm from a state pharmacy board official and promptly received an adhesive bandage — and a sticker. Marty Wright, the head of the West Virginia Health Care Association, said he “applauded” the governor's move.

Top officials witness first vaccine shots in Washington

Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar and Surgeon General Jerome Adams were on hand at George Washington University Hospital in Washington, D.C., to witness doctors and nurses get the first shots of the vaccine.

Five health care workers at the hospital received initial doses of the vaccine developed by Pfizer and its German partner, BioNTech, the first authorized in the U.S. to combat COVID-19.

“To be 11 months into this world pandemic and to be here at George Washington to see doctors and nurses, the heroic frontline health care workers, receive this protection, it’s a momentous event,” Azar said outside the hospital.

Hospitals nationwide began receiving vaccine shipments Monday and started to immunize employees, and Azar said more vaccine should become available later this week after the FDA reviews another candidate made by Moderna.

Azar also stressed the importance of getting the vaccine to vulnerable populations and highlighting the independent checks that show the vaccine is safe and effective.

“The process has integrity to it based on science, evidence and the law,” Azar said.    

– Ken Alltucker

More than 300K dead from COVID-19 in the US

Robert Redfield, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, warned the country could reach 450,000 fatalities before Feb. 1, days short of the one-year anniversary of the first known COVID-19 death in the U.S. The 300,000 mark came and went Monday, the first day vaccines began being distributed across the nation.

An influential model from the University of Washington’s Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation predicts more than 460,000 deaths by March 1, with or without a rapid vaccine rollout. By comparison, about 405,000 American service members perished in World War II over nearly four years.

“The way the number of infections has been growing so fast, it’s hard to believe we won’t be at half a million deaths,” said Dr. John Swartzberg, a professor emeritus of infectious diseases and vaccinology at the University of California-Berkeley.

– Jorge L. Ortiz

More vaccines coming soon, Operation Warp Speed says

Operation Warp Speed officials alluded to a highly likely FDA authorization of a second COVID-19 vaccine soon, from Moderna, though HHS Secretary Alex Azar reiterated at a Monday briefing that it would only be authorized “if it meets FDA’s rigorous standards.”

Moncef Slaoui, Operation Warp Speed’s science advisor, said that "this week, possibly Tuesday, the packet of technical information about the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine will be made public.''

The information will be reviewed by the Food and Drug Administration’s external advisory committee, the Vaccines and Related Biological Products Advisory Committee, or VRBPAC, on Thursday. The Moderna vaccine showed almost 95% efficacy against disease and 100% efficacy against severe disease, Slaoui said. He also noted there are two other COVID-19 vaccines in Phase 3 clinical trials.

– Elizabeth Weise

Officials encourage vaccinations, trust in experts

Mass vaccination is the key to stopping COVID-19, said Moncef Slaoui, Operation Warp Speed’s science advisor, encouraging the public to listen to medical experts on the subject.

"Vaccines on the shelf are useless,” he said. “Unless the majority of us get vaccinated, we will not be able to control this pandemic."

HHS Secretary Alex Azar urged Americans to continue to socially distance and wear masks in the weeks and months ahead until the country achieves herd immunity, which may take at least 70% of the public being vaccinated.

– Elizabeth Weise

New York nurse receives COVID-19 vaccine

A critical care nurse in New York City received the what was likely the nation's first shot of the Pfizer/BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine Monday morning with other health care workers cheering and Gov. Andrew Cuomo watching via livestream.

"I'm ready. Let's do this," Sandra Lindsay said before she received the shot after 9 a.m. in Queens. Those in the room applauded after Lindsay was given the shot.

The nurse said she felt "relieved" and that she wanted to "instill public confidence that the vaccine is safe."

"I hope this marks the beginning to the end of a very painful time in our history," Lindsay said.

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COVID-19 vaccine will not arrive at Tennessee hospitals until Thursday

Tennessee officials say the first shipments of COVID-19 vaccine won't arrive at hospitals until Thursday, days after some facilities expected to being vaccination, as Tennessee falls behind other states in a race to protect health care workers from the virus.

The Tennessee Department of Health announced the first allotment of Pfizer's two-dose vaccine — an early shipment of 975 doses — arrived Monday and will be held in reserve as a "backup supply." The state's primary supply of about 56,000 more doses will ship Wednesday and arrive at "28 sites covering 74 Tennessee hospitals" on Thursday, according to a news release from the health department.

[clintashaotp]

Author’s note/summary: I have decided to do the April challenge this year! That means I’ll be posting a fic each day this month. I’ll do my best to get one for every day, and with all the extra quarantine time hopefully I’ll be able to keep it up. So without further ado, here’s the first one. I may have lost the prompt for this, but I do remember what it was! SHIELD Natasha x HYDRA Clint, and she’s trying to bring him back to her side. I loved this prompt so it’s a little long. 

2,349 Words

I Can’t Recognize You Anymore

...

It’s been months since they’ve talked, like really talked, but Natasha hasn’t been known to give up on anyone ever. She knows him better than anyone, she keeps telling herself. There’s no way he’d just abandon her like that. He wouldn’t. 

She can still remember when she saw him standing with the rest of the HYDRA soldiers, facing against her with a stone cold face and a gun pointed at her chest. It was like a sick punch to the gut, but she had kept her guard up and managed to escape with just a few cuts. But she couldn’t shake the memory of the look on his face. 

For the first few weeks, she wondered if it was possession. She had seen what he had done under Loki’s control, and she couldn’t rule out mind control or something else. But when she started looking through his travel logs, she saw with a sinking feeling that every personal trip he had taken had coincide directly with a HYDRA strike somewhere around the world. 

She then wondered if he was being blackmailed. It was possible. Maybe someone had threatened his family, or maybe he was working with them because...she couldn’t think of a good reason. Deep inside she knew it wasn’t true, but she couldn’t stop coming up with theories. It couldn't be possible that he would turn on them like that. They were his family. 

The next time she sees his face is during a mission in Italy. She hops on her motorcycle, the hard drive already stuffed deep in her pocket, and accelerates the gas so hard the front wheel pops up off the sidewalk. 

“Get out of the way!” she shouts, and people jump off the sidewalk as she plows down the street. She can hear the roar of an approaching truck behind her and knows that it has to be HYDRA, so she revs the engine again, speeding down a sidestreet, trying to stay close to the buildings. 

That’s when a second truck skids to a stop feet ahead of her, right where the sidestreet meets the main road, and Natasha instinctively steers her motorcycle sideways, skidding to a halt right before she would have bashed her brains open along the side of the black armored truck. 

She jumps off the vehicle quickly and starts to sprint towards the nearest open store along the street, but an arrow flies just past her left shoulder and buries itself in the wall in front of her. 

“Don’t move,” yells an all too familiar voice, and she freezes. 

If this were anyone else, she would pull out her guns and shoot the living hell out of them before they could blink, but she can’t do that to Clint. She could never do that to Clint. 

“Turn around,” he barks, and she raises her hands to shoulder height, turning slowly to see eight men pointing guns at her. Clint stands on the hood of the truck, an arrow already notched but not yet pulled taught. He’s defensive, but she doesn't think he’s ready to kill her just yet. 

“This doesn’t have to get messy,” she says calmly. “Just let me go. We don’t have a fight here.”

“Nice try,” Clint sneers, and Natasha’s heart pounds at his expression. It looks like someone else is smiling out of his face. “Give us the hard drive, Black Widow.”

“You know I can’t do that, Clint,” her voice is low and calm, as if she is talking to a child, but the second his name leaves her lips his expression hardens and he pulls the arrow into position, aiming it right at her heart. 

“Don’t speak to me,” he says coldly, and though he sounds calm, he looks anything but. “Search her,” he says to the men, and they start walking towards her, putting their guns back in their holsters so they can check the pockets of her suit. 

It takes her half a second to whip out her Widow’s Bytes, and she flings them at the group of men. They all go down at once, electricity coursing through their bodies, and she takes the moment of distraction to sprint as fast as she can around the corner and as far away from Clint’s arrows as she can. 

“Fury, I need extraction now,” she barks into the com. “HYDRA came, they took the hard drive and wrecked my bike, I need a ride out right now.”

“On it, Romanoff,” his voice says in her ear, and it takes ten seconds for her to see the jet appear in the sky as its mirroring is turned off. She sprints towards it, and hears the revving of the car behind her. 

“Open the hatch!” she yells, and she sees it lower. She’s getting closer, and now she just has to outrun the truck. She glances over her shoulder to see it round the bend, speeding towards her, and she speeds up as much as she can, sprinting full tilt towards the open door. 

She dives into the back of the jet, rolling when she hits the ground, and slams the button to close the hatch. 

As it raises, she catches a glimpse of Clint’s face behind the windshield of the truck. She can barely recognize him. 

.

“What the hell happened out there, Romanoff?” Fury barks, and Natasha doesn’t reply, sinking lower into her padded chair. The Director’s office is fairly intimidating, and though Natasha doesn’t get scared by practically anything, she feels a little less than at ease under Fury’s one-eyed gaze. 

“HYDRA happened,” she replies shortly. 

“You’ve taken out thirty HYDRA agents at once before! Why didn’t you just shoot?” when she doesn’t reply, he leans over the desk, both hands on its surface, staring at her. “Romanoff. Why didn’t you shoot?”

“Clint was there,” she finally says. She doesn’t meet his eyes, looking down at the desk. “Clint was heading the team and I couldn’t shoot him.”

Fury doesn’t talk for a while. He turns to face the windows, looking out across the city below them. Natasha thinks for a moment he is going to reprimand her, but when he turns back around he hardly even looks annoyed, much less angry. 

“I don’t know what happened to Barton, but we need him. We need him back, Natasha, and if you still believe in him than I do. I trust your judgement. So what, we lost the payload, but now we need to get him back.”

“I agree, sir.”

“That’s your next assignment,” Fury says stoutly. “Find Barton. Bring him back to us.”

“I’ll do my best,” she nods. She doesn’t need an exit cue. She knows when the conversation is over. 

She turns and walks out his door, leaving him staring out the glass, trying to find answers in the dotted skyline below.

.

She hacks every file she can find, searches through the SHIELD database, and tries to find a way into the HYDRA server but is blocked by several AIs. She even asks for Tony’s help decrypting a file on Barton’s travel logs from HYDRA, but after Tony is denied access she knows she has to find another way to get to him. Little did she know that she didn’t have to look for him at all. 

When he was with SHIELD, they would go to the same coffee shop every Saturday morning and get a latte and sit under the trees in the nearby Arboretum to talk about the week, and get a little time to themselves. She hadn’t gone since he left. The memories were a little too painful, and she was trying to get over her caffeine dependency, but this Saturday she’s already in the area so she decides to stop and take a walk in the Arboretum. 

Black coffee in hand, she plugs in her earbuds and starts down the calm gravel path. The scent of flowers is heavy in the air, and she can’t help but smile. It is a nice peaceful break from the stressful hunting of her partner. 

That’s when she feels something. That familiar prickle on the back of her neck. Eyes. Someone is watching her. 

Instead of whirling around to see who it is, she pauses her music, keeping her headphones in, so she can listen. Heavy footsteps, probably boots, heavy heels, probably a man, around 6 foot to 6’3, probably around 220-240 pounds. Muscular, confident, not trying to be sneaky. 

She pulls out her phone but doesn’t turn it on. When she sees the face in the reflection of the black screen she almost drops her coffee. 

She won’t confront him, not now. Unless Clint makes a move towards her, she won’t try to strike against him. While she could probably bag him now and bring him to SHIELD, if he’s following her her, he’s either going to attack her or trying to talk. If she tries to take him in now, it will make a scene, and it’s too public to start a shooting match. 

He’s a good distance away, and she can’t tell if he wants her to notice him or not. But she doesn’t turn around to look. Her hand drifts to her pocket where she keeps a throwing knife for emergencies. If he jumps her, she’ll whip around and nail him straight in the chest with it.

She walks for a few more minutes, not checking behind her, turning her music up a little so that he can choose to approach her if he wants. 

She finally sits down on a bench at the end of the path, but when she glances subtly behind her, he is already gone. 

.

Another week passes, and Natasha can’t find any information on his whereabouts. While he was nearby recently, their job requires frequent travel, so on Monday she starts a facial recognition search among security cameras. The results take almost a week, so by the next Monday, she prints out the most relevant searches and lays them out on a desk so she can look at them. 

All of them are unmistakably Clint, and she feels a creeping, paranoid sensation in her stomach when she notices where he is. 

Their coffee shop. The gym that they always went to together. Her laundromat where she used to go every week. Her favorite jewelry store.

“He’s trying to find me,” she whispers to herself. Of course. She doesn't need to look for him, he’s looking for her. 

“Damn right I am,” came a voice behind her, and Natasha draws a gun in half a second, her fingers already hot and twitching on the trigger as she whirls around to aim her gun at the man standing in her apartment doorway. “Sorry to startle you.” he dangles a key from his left hand. “You forgot to change the locks.”

“Clint, what are you doing here?” she keeps her voice even and calm, her hands still steady on the trigger. 

“I needed...closure,” he shrugs. He throws her keys down on the floor, and pulls a knife out of his boot strap, staring at her evenly. 

Natasha takes half a second to assess the situation, and it takes a split second for her to decide what to do. Thank god she left her com on her desk after the last mission, because she reaches over and grabs it, putting it into her ear. 

“Clint Barton is in my apartment. Come and get him,” she grins, and watches his face drop slightly. 

“And here I was thinking we could have a little heart to heart,” he raises an eyebrow. 

He lunges at her, knife raised, but she knocks his arm away, punching him hard on the side of the head. He grunts but swings his leg, knocking her chair over and she leaps to her feet just in time to receive a well placed kick to the ribs. She gasps as she falls back against the wall, but uses her momentum to leap onto his shoulders, tightening her thighs like a vice around his neck. 

He struggles, and grips his knife tighter, but she hits his wrist at the perfect pressure point that makes his hand open and his knife falls to the floor. 

“Tasha,” he gasps, and it is then she realizes she’s actually cutting off his oxygen. Her heartbeat seems to slow down as his words reach her. She lets go, back flipping off of him onto the floor and drawing her gun on him, keeping it trained steadily on his chest. 

“People are coming, Clint. We’re going to take you in,” she says coldly. “You’ll pay for the people you killed.”

“I know.” his voice is low, calm, and defeated. “I know, Nat, why do you think I’m here?”

“I don’t know, I don’t care,” she spits, but they both know she’s curious. 

“I can’t kill you, but I can’t stay away from you. I can’t even shoot you. How am I supposed to go against you? I can’t do it anymore, Natasha, it’s torture.”

“What are you saying?” the trembling of her voice betrays her false calm, and she takes a deep breath, steadying her hands on the trigger. 

“I need you. I need you, Nat. I can’t stay away from you anymore. Take me in, torture me, keep me in a cell for the rest of my life. I’d rather you kill me than the other way around.”

A bang of the door slamming open alerts Natasha and Clint to the presence of the SHIELD agents in her house, and she backs up as they swarm her bedroom, pulling Clint’s hands behind his head and snapping cuffs on his wrists. He doesn’t struggle, just looks at her pleadingly. 

“Wait!” Natasha says quickly, and the agents freeze, just about to drag him through the doorway. She steps forward, standing level with Clint, looking deep into his eyes. “I’ll visit you,” she whispers, just loud enough for him to hear, and backs away, letting the agents wrestle him out the door. She catches his sideways smile just before the door slams behind him. 

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[downn-in-flames]

let’s keep it casual

this was written for a trope stew challenge on @hpfanfictalk​ - my assigned tropes were 1) roaring rampage of revenge, 2) snowball lie, 3) friends with benefits, 4) it's personal, and 5) mistaken for betrayal. somehow, i think i managed to squish them all in here :P

read it on: hpft | ao3

[Tuesday 10 May, 15:04]

james potter: u up?

lily evans: it’s 3pm

james potter: good observation

lily evans: you need to get more creative with your ‘hi i’m bored can you come over and fuck me’ lines

james potter: did it work though?

lily evans: be there in 15

*

[Tuesday 10 May, 16:42]

sirius black: ran into lily in the lobby a few minutes ago sirius black: tell me, when are you going to finally own up to the fact that you fancy the shit out of her and aren’t just casually fucking her with no feelings involved

james potter: hmm, but see, that would require that statement to actually be true james potter: seriously, it’s just hooking up james potter: we’ve got a good thing going, i’m not going to ruin that by catching feelings

sirius black: ~catching~ feelings? sirius black: dude sirius black: feelings have long since been caught sirius black: by both of you

james potter: ur wrong but i’m not arguing that point with u anymore

sirius black: because your counterarguments are shit and you know it

*

[Wednesday 11 May, 20:53]

lily evans: i’m going to kill him i’m going to kill him i’m going to kill him lily evans: I’M GOING TO KILL HIM lily evans: give me ONE good reason not to commit murder right now

james potter: you can’t fuck me if you’re in prison?

lily evans: damn you have a point there

james potter: also why are you contemplating murder, that seems extreme

lily evans: two words for you: severus fucking snape

james potter: that’s three words

lily evans: do you want me to kill you too, bud??

james potter: you can’t fuck me if i’m dead james potter: but seriously, what did that greasebag do

lily evans: remember when i beat him to checking out the last copy of that chemistry research journal from the library?

james potter: i believe you described it as ‘the most victorious day of the semester to date’

lily evans: and i stand by that lily evans: but ANYWAYS lily evans: the creepy fucker SNUCK INTO MY ROOM and STOLE IT lily evans: and had the nerve to leave me a fucking LOVE NOTE in its place

james potter: he left you a love note?? james potter: what does it say?

lily evans: that is not the part of this story you should be fixating on lily evans: he wheedled his way through the front desk security and came into my room and WENT THROUGH MY STUFF lily evans: not to mention, the damn journal is still checked out in my name lily evans: so if he doesn’t return it on time, I’M going to have to pay for it lily evans: those things are expensive as FUCK

james potter: what a fucking twat

lily evans: i just lily evans: i can’t with him lily evans: the creepiness and borderline obsession with me is one thing lily evans: the fact that he acts like i owe it to him to be in love with him is another lily evans: but straight-up violating my privacy AND sabotaging my perfect reputation with the university library?? lily evans: i’m taking him down

james potter: hell yeah, you show that fucker once and for all

lily evans: wanna be my accomplice

james potter: that’s perhaps the sexiest thing you’ve ever said james potter: ofc i will be

lily evans: will text u when i come up with the appropriate revenge scheme

*

[Thursday 12 May, 13:02]

lily evans: meet me at the library in an hour

james potter: is this part of aforementioned revenge scheme?

lily evans: obviously

james potter: i shall be there

*

[Thursday 12 May, 15:23]

james potter: okay what the fuck was that

lily evans: in my defense it was not supposed to go that far

james potter: mind telling me what you DID have in mind when telling the librarian that we’re engaged?? james potter: because i’ve been wracking my brain and i’ve got nothing

lily evans: she was supposed to give me edit access to my account to fix my last name lily evans: which she did lily evans: and thanks to my BRILLIANT computer skills from there, the journal is checked out in snape’s name instead of mine lily evans: but clearly i underestimated how close i am with the uni library staff

james potter: no shit

lily evans: anyways, what do you want on our wedding registry

james potter: what

lily evans: i’ve got to give her a wedding website link!! she asked for it, i can’t very well show up at the library next week and not have a wedding website for her lily evans: i also ordered a £5 ring on etsy lily evans: it’s huge and tacky and exactly the sort of thing a trust fund baby like u would propose with

james potter: jfc james potter: put one of those mini waffle makers on there james potter: also i’m offended that you think so poorly of my ring-picking skills

*

[Friday 13 May, 9:10]

lily evans: hi, i have a weird request

remus lupin: that’s always a concerning sentence

lily evans: can you take fake engagement photos for me and james?? lily evans: will pay you in bourbon and chocolate

remus lupin: ……. literally what the fuck, lily remus lupin: why on earth do you need fake engagement photos

lily evans: i need them for our fake wedding website

remus lupin: somehow, that still doesn’t make this make any more sense

lily evans: it’s a long story lily evans: can you though?

remus lupin: *sigh* yes

lily evans: bless u

*

[Monday 16 May, 8:57]

lily evans: thoughts?? lily evans: Attachment - 12 Images

james potter: wow james potter: those look… really good

lily evans: we actually look like an engaged couple lily evans: like….. go us lily evans: alright, time to upload these bad boys onto the website

*

[Monday 16 May, 9:12]

james potter: sirius james potter: oh dear brother of mine james potter: who is nothing but kind and supportive and never gives me shit for anything james potter: how are you this fine evening?

sirius black: spit it out

james potter: as you know, i have been pulled into the most hare-brained of schemes with none other than lily evans james potter: and it spiralled into remus taking a bunch of fake engagement photos for us this weekend

sirius black: i am well aware sirius black: you stole my boyfriend from me on what would have otherwise been a chill saturday morning and used him to take pictures in a fucking flower field

james potter: that is correct james potter: anyways james potter: it has come to my attention that we make a Very Cute Couple

sirius black: are u saying what i think ur saying

james potter: and now i feel weird because i kind of... wish they weren’t fake??

sirius black: u ARE saying it sirius black: oh my GOD sirius black: took you long enough

james potter: hey now, you agreed not to give me shit

sirius black: if you scroll up, you’ll see i never agreed to anything

james potter: i can’t believe you’re being so rude to me in my time of dire emotional distress

*

[Monday 16 May, 15:32]

remus lupin: heard you finally got your head out of your ass and admitted you like evans as more than a friend slash hookup

james potter: i’m going to kill sirius, he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone

remus lupin: he’d like you to know that he never agreed to that either remus lupin: but seriously, it was about time

james potter: :( stop making me feel like an idiot for having feelings

remus lupin: you’re not an idiot for having feelings remus lupin: you ARE an idiot for taking so long to realise you’ve had them

james potter: this is a new development james potter: i only had friendly feelings for her until yesterday

remus lupin: …… james remus lupin: you once woke up in the middle of the night to drive to that 24-hour ice cream shop on the other side of town at 3 a.m. so you could take lily her favourite milkshake while she was studying remus lupin: that is NOT something you do for someone you only have friendly feelings for

james potter: it isn’t???

remus lupin: would you do that for me or peter?

james potter: no

remus lupin: hence, not friendly feelings

james potter: … oh

remus lupin: you are useless remus lupin: absolutely useless remus lupin: truly do not know what lily sees in you

james potter: well that’s mean

*

[Monday 16 May, 16:53]

lily evans: is it sad that i keep forgetting this wedding website is fake?? lily evans: like, i am putting Way Too Much Effort into this given that it is an elaborate ruse to appease some librarians and i keep catching myself fantasising about a real wedding lily evans: literally what is wrong with me

remus lupin: jfc remus lupin: you two really ARE meant for each other

*

[Monday 16 May, 23:49]

james potter: wait what do you mean ‘what lily sees in me’?? james potter: remus?????

*

[Tuesday 17 May, 10:03]

lily evans: stage 2 of burn snape’s life to the ground begins tomorrow lily evans: are you ready?

james potter: should i be prepared for a fake marriage this time?

lily evans: haha no, i promise i won’t spring any fake relationship statuses on you this time lily evans: but now that you mention it… lily evans: check out this work of art lily evans: theknot . com / deerlybeloved

james potter: fucking hell, evans james potter: you went all out

lily evans: umm yeah lol lily evans: turns out designing a wedding website is a really fun way to procrastinate

*

[Tuesday 17 May, 10:16]

james potter: she used a deer pun in the fake wedding page name i actually can’t breathe

sirius black: the transition from complete denial to pathetic sod happened even faster than i expected

james potter: you are ruthless

sirius black: remember when i was the pathetic sod about remus and you gave me SO much shit about it?? sirius black: this is payback, bitchhhhhhh

james potter: you’re right, i deserve this

*

[Wednesday 18 May, 19:34]

james potter: truly, evans, i don’t understand why you’re studying chem when you’re this good at hacking into things james potter: in other news, i’m having the absolute fucking time of my LIFE on snape’s reddit account rn james potter: i just wrote a long essay about how i’ve learned the errors of my bigoted ways and am embracing the blm movement and intersectional feminism and i’ve never seen something get so violently downvoted so fast

lily evans: see, this is why i knew you were the right accomplice for this lily evans: keep destroying his internet reputation and trolling his weird alt-right community with all your research and logic lily evans: you’re doing amazing sweetie

james potter: studying human rights law does occasionally have its perks james potter: this, plus ya know the whole ‘making the world a better place’ thing

lily evans: i was about to say lily evans: i should hope the only perk isn’t trolling the internet

james potter: ahahahahah yessss one of the admins is threatening to kick me out james potter: also he keeps using mudblood as an insult and i’m like ??? james potter: what does that even mean??

lily evans: somehow i feel like you don’t want to know

james potter: update i found out, and yes you were right, i didn’t want to know

lily evans: in that case, not gonna ask

*

[Thursday 19 May, 17:35]

severus snape: Potter.

james potter: fuck i really thought i’d blocked your number

severus snape: You’ve pulled childish pranks in the past, but getting me banned from the Death Eaters Messageboard is a new low.

james potter: i’m sorry what james potter: i don’t know what you’re talking about

severus snape: Cut the bullshit. severus snape: In the process of reinstating my account - with none of my reputation points, might I add, thanks for that - I’ve acquired photo evidence of the posts that resulted in my expulsion. severus snape: I know no one else who would both make a play on words about deer and quote a Taylor Swift song in the same sentence. It was obviously you, you childish buffoon.

james potter: haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

severus snape: I’m not joking around here.

james potter: baby i’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

severus snape: You’re going to regret this, mark my words.

james potter: i shake it off, i shake it off

james potter has blocked severus snape

*

[Thursday 19 May, 19:03]

lily evans: come over i’m bored

james potter: is this a ‘come over so we can have sex’ type of come over or a ‘come over so we can watch the good place for the hundredth time’ type of come over

lily evans: why does it have to be one or the other?

james potter: touché james potter: omw

*

[Thursday 19 May, 22:38]

james potter: RED ALERT I HAVE FUCKED UP james potter: you’re 1000% gonna roast me for this and i don’t fucking care because if i don’t tell someone i’m actually going to explode

sirius black: what happened with lily this time

james potter: bold of you to assume this has to do with lily

sirius black: does it have to do with lily?

james potter: ….. yes

sirius black: my bold assumption proven correct

james potter: anyways, we were shagging, as we do james potter: and it was the ~heat of the moment~, you know??

sirius black: i am not qualified to give you sex advice, if that’s where this is going

james potter: and i might’ve accidentally told her i loved her

sirius black: oh fuck that’s not where this was going

james potter: and now i don’t know what to doooooo

sirius black: well, what did you do after you said it?

james potter: honestly i blacked out james potter: i think i backtracked by telling her i meant that i love fucking her and then just like….. left as soon as we were done

sirius black: jesus fucking CHRIST

*

[Thursday 19 May, 22:54]

remus lupin: sirius is banging his head on the table repeatedly and given that he was texting you a few minutes ago i can only assume you said something on a whole new level of stupid

*

[Thursday 19 May, 23:01]

james potter: sirius??? james potter: help???

sirius black: i have never gone out on a date with a woman and even i can tell you that that is absolutely NOT what you do when you tell a girl you love them for the first time sirius black: you absolute knob

james potter: so what do i doooooo

sirius black: tell her the truth maybe? sirius black: the cat’s out of the bag now anyways and it’s not like you can make things any worse than you already have

james potter: but we agreed no one was going to catch feelings when we started sleeping together!! james potter: we pinky swore james potter: i can’t break a pinky swear

sirius black: ffs the fact that you two pinky swore on a sex agreement is something i’ll need to give you shit for at a totally separate time but that’s not the most pressing issue at the moment sirius black: my point stands, breaking a pinky swear is still an improvement on the current situation sirius black: just tell her the truth so you two can become that nauseatingly adorable couple and overtake me and remus as the most vomit-inducing pair in college

james potter: ughhhhh james potter: curse my blood-deprived brain for getting me into this mess

*

[Saturday 21 May, 9:37]

lily evans: phase 4 of fucking up snape’s life starts today - you ready?

james potter: uhhh yeah james potter: listen, are you okay?

lily evans: yes? why wouldn’t i be?

james potter: idk james potter: but good, that’s good

lily evans: yep, it’s good

james potter: how many phases are there to this snape plan anyways? james potter: will i get to know any of the phases in advance?

lily evans: 4 phases lily evans: phase 1 was putting the world back in its rightful order, phases 2-4 are all about destroying the things he holds most dear lily evans: see: his top 5 placement on that alt-right message board (phase 2), and his good reputation with all the chem professors (phase 3) lily evans: (i handled phase 3 on my own, btw)

james potter: fair enough, don’t know how i would’ve helped with chem professors anyways james potter: pretty sure one of them (slughorn i think?) hates me from that one time sirius and i let chickens loose in the science building

lily evans: oh god yeah he definitely probably does lily evans: anyways, phase 4 is sneaking into his room like he did to mine, and you’re gonna leave the note lily evans: he’ll be properly pissed off if he knows you got in, but he’d probably just wank to a note i left

james potter: thanks for the most cursed mental image of my life james potter: but you’re prob right tbh

lily evans: anyways, i’m pretty good at picking the locks on the dormitory windows, so i’ll go in that way and unlock his room from the inside - all you’ll need to do is show up lily evans: tonight at 7

james potter: roger that

*

[Saturday 21 May, 13:46]

remus lupin: have you talked to lily about the infamous mid-coital ‘i love you’ yet?

james potter: jfc must sirius tell you everything james potter: and no, i’m getting there i swear

remus lupin: get there faster

*

[Saturday 21 May, 22:40]

sirius black: is everything okay?? sirius black: actually wait i know the answer to that sirius black: you came in soaking wet two hours ago and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the kitchen and have been blasting all too well at top volume ever since sirius black: everything is definitely not okay

james potter: fcuk lily evans james potter: and not in the fun way james potter: i’m never gonna fuck her in the fun way again

sirius black: what happened?

james potter: rememember how we were sabotaging snep’s life james potter: *sneep james potter: *snape james potter: turns out, she and sneep go way back james potter: motherfucker james potter: sneep is jsut his name now james potter: anyways, she set me up and betrayed me james potter: sneep knew i was gonna be there and put a booby trap on his door, and he and lily were inside LAUGHING at me

sirius black: wait what the fuck sirius black: lily would never

james potter: but she would apparently james potter: she even has pictures of them in primary school together james potter: i just james potter: fuck

sirius black: that’s actually beyond fucked up

james potter: originally this whole revenge on sneep thing was just me following along with lily’s rage james potter: but now it’s personal james potter: the lily revenge plan didn’t have a phase 5, but the james version does james potter: and i’m taking both of them dwon james potter: is it petty? yes james potter: will it actually fix th fact that evans betrayed me? no james potter: but will it make me feel better? yess james potter: and that, i think, is a valid reason james potter: will u hlep me??

sirius black: i mean, i’m always down to fuck with sneep sirius black: but uhh, maybe sleep off the alcohol first sirius black: and stop playing all too well

james potter: okye

sirius black: that was not an invitation to start playing you’re not sorry

james potter: taylor swift is th eonly person who gets my sadness right now i cant’ help it

*

[Sunday 22 May, 9:21]

lily evans: i called you like 5 times last night, why didn’t you pick up

james potter: i wasn’t aware you’d want to talk to me james potter: too busy hanging out with your bff sneep

lily evans: jfc you’re such a drama queen

james potter: excuse me

lily evans: also god no i’d never hang out with snape lily evans: sneep? lol

james potter: it was a typo that i’m making into an Official Thing james potter: you two seemed awfully cozy yesterday james potter: you know, when you betrayed me and led me straight into a trap

lily evans: ffs i didn’t betray you lily evans: if you would’ve picked up any of my calls last night, i would’ve been able to explain to you that this was all part of the plan

james potter: wait what

lily evans: i had to make you think i’d betrayed you because you can’t act for shit

james potter: why did you need me to think that

lily evans: for the real phase 4 lily evans: i’m destroying everything snape holds dear lily evans: which, yes, includes both his weird messageboard reputation and his teacher’s pet status, but you know what’s at the very top of that list? lily evans: his perpetual wank that i’m going to realise he was the perfect man for him all along lily evans: hence, i have lulled him into a false sense of believing his fantasy has finally come true so i can crush it under my heel once and for all

james potter: that is… downright diabolical

lily evans: i take revenge crusades very seriously

james potter: ok but how do i know you’re not double crossing me again?

lily evans: bc for fuck’s sake in what world would i EVER want to be with someone who treats me like a fucking prize that he’s owed for being nice to me as a kid?? lily evans: c’mon potter, you know me better than that

james potter: it felt SO REAL yesterday though

lily evans: that is because i, unlike you, am excellent at acting

james potter: why do you keep implying i’m a bad actor??

lily evans: because you are lily evans: exhibit a - you told me you loved me and then proceeded to full-on panic so hard that you gave the world’s worst cover up and ran away at the first possible moment

james potter: oh god, you noticed that

lily evans: of course i noticed that, because once again, you are the world’s worst actor

james potter: yikes james potter: i’m sorry, i know i managed to break literally the only rule we had going into this arrangement

lily evans: it’s actually kinda convenient, tbh lily evans: considering i broke it as well

james potter: you what

lily evans: as it happens, i have somewhat recently come to the realisation that my feelings for you are somewhat outside the bounds of what one would consider ~friendly~

james potter: was it the wedding website james potter: is that what did it

lily evans: embarrassingly enough…. yes

james potter: SAME

lily evans: wait seriously??

james potter: so serious i’m not even gonna make a sirius pun james potter: i mean, did you SEE how good we look together?? james potter: evans, we are a POWER COUPLE

lily evans: hell yes we are

james potter: a power couple who takes sneep down once and for all

lily evans: hell yes we are x100 lily evans: come over in a bit? gotta discuss the actual plan lily evans: i may have an idea that makes it even better

*

[Sunday 22 May, 10:21]

james potter: on second thought, plans have changed yet again

sirius black: i take it this is a positive change sirius black: given that you have now taken to blasting call it what you want

james potter: :)

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:05]

james potter has unblocked severus snape

james potter: hey bro i just wanted to say i’m sorry for trying to sneak into your room

severus snape: You’re not my bro. Don’t call me that. severus snape: We both know you’re only apologising because you wanted to get into Lily’s pants.

james potter: not what this is about but go off i guess

severus snape: You’re just jealous because for once, the nice guy did get the girl. severus snape: Apology not accepted, by the way.

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:13]

james potter: Attachment - 1 Screenshot james potter: at what point do i get to tell him i’ve actually been in your pants

lily evans: your time will come lily evans: but for now, stop texting sneep and put your phone down so that you can cuddle with your naked girlfriend who’s literally on the other side of the bed waiting for you

james potter: don’t have to ask me twice

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:57]

lily evans: hey sev? wanna meet me at the founder’s garden this afternoon?

severus snape: Of course. Let’s do 4.

lily evans: looking forward to it xx

*

[Sunday 22 May, 18:59]

sirius black: heard sneep had a temper tantrum so dramatic half of the college overheard it

james potter: it was iconic

sirius black: also heard you and evans are engaged now???

james potter: ah, that part is just hearsay james potter: we decided to lean into the fact that we’ve already got a fake wedding website and just throw a fake proposal in there for good measure james potter: it’s still not an actual engagement james potter: but sneep doesn’t know that, and he never will

sirius black: that is so fantastically stupid, but then again, i don’t know why i’d expect anything less from you two at this point

james potter: i am going to buy her a less shitty ring though - not like an actual diamond one, but something in the middle ground, ya know? james potter: if she’s gonna wear it all the time it might as well be nice

*

[Sunday 22 May, 23:41]

severus snape: You are despicable. severus snape: You stole the girl who was clearly MINE. Lily loved ME first.

james potter: first of all, lily doesn’t belong to anyone james potter: second of all, she picked me

severus snape: And we all know you’re just going to drop her as soon as you get your dick wet.

james potter: not that our sex life is any of your business, but i can assure you that i have already disproven that theory

severus snape: That’s disgusting. I didn’t need to know that.

james potter: i mean, you’re the one who keeps bringing things back to getting into lily’s pants james potter: just wanted to share that the experience is indeed a pleasant one, 10/10 would recommend, not that you’ll ever get to experience it for yourself

severus snape: Fuck. You.

james potter: you know what i think, sneep?

severus snape: My name is Snape. Surely your pea brain can at least spell that properly.

james potter: i think you need to calm down james potter: you’re being too loud

james potter has blocked severus snape

*

[Monday 23 May, 12:54]

lily evans: fyi the uni library staff sent us one of those mini waffle makers as an engagement gift

james potter: oh my god james potter: best fake engagement ever

lily evans: figured you’d enjoy that

[voyager-into-the-unknown]

This is the next part of my Plance fanfic series. There’s hints of Plance, Kallura, and Hunay in this chapter, plus loads of action!

This is the link to the previous chapter: https://truegryffindorforever2.tumblr.com/post/188911292170/i-had-fun-writing-this-chapter-lance-and-pidge

Chapter 9: The Morning Workout

At 0800 on Monday morning, the Paladins met at the Garrison’s training deck for a mandatory combat simulation. The Altean technology from the Castle of Lions was the foundation of this enormous new training area that the Garrison had built, not just for the Paladins, but for the future trainees of the Defenders Project that the Holts were developing. Even though Pidge had helped her father design the platform, the scenarios were so varied that even she would be surprised by most of them. She had asked Matt to do most of the programming for their training so that she would not know what kind of dangers they would face. Coran and Shiro had also given Matt some suggestions on the specifics.

Keith had arrived early, and was in the control room with Coran, who would be operating today’s simulation. Shiro and Matt had arrived shortly afterwards to observe and evaluate the results of the exercise.

Allura and Pidge were on the deck by 0750, and when Lance and Hunk arrived, Lance saw that the princess was helping Pidge with her unruly long hair, braiding it tightly so that it would fit under her helmet. “Good morning, Ladies!” Lance called cheerfully. Pidge made a little wave and smiled at them.

“Good morning, boys!” Allura replied as she finished helping Pidge with her hair.

“Good morning!” Hunk replied.

“Thanks, Allura. My hair is so much trouble. I am thinking about cutting it again.”

“Aw, don’t do that. Your hair is so pretty, Katie,” Lance said, never taking his eyes off of her. She blushed a little as she averted her gaze and smiled. Hunk gave Allura a knowing glance, and the princess lifted her eyebrows at him, looked at Lance and Pidge, then back towards Hunk. Hunk knew what the princess suspected, and he gave her a little nod. Allura looked happily surprised.

Keith walked out onto the deck. “Good morning, team. Today’s combat training exercise is an infiltration of a Galra pirate vessel. It’s the flagship of a large fleet of destroyer drones that are maneuvered in tandem by a slave circuit, which is controlled by a computer system that Pidge must hack before the flagship’s main reactor goes critical. Our coalition fleet is engaged in battle with the pirates and they have managed to partially disable the flagship, so our time is limited. To complicate things further, we have discovered that there’s also a small group of kidnapped citizens of the coalition worlds that are being held for ransom, and we must find them before we escape. If we fail, the fleet of destroyers will attack one of the coalition colony planets nearby, killing millions of colonists. We will have 25 doboshes to get through the maze of corridors to the brig and the main control room, complete the mission, and escape to our lions before the ship explodes. Reprogrammed Galra sentry bots will be playing the role of the pirates, but there are a few surprises onboard the ship, so expect the unexpected. Ready?”

“Ready!” they all replied. The plain white platform was transformed into the grey corridors of the pirate flagship, dimly lit by an eerie purplish glow. Klaxons blared and there was the sound of running metallic feet as the sentries charged, firing their energy rifles at the Paladins who drew their Bayards and activated their shields as they charged into the onslaught. Lance took out half a dozen sentries with his rifle, and Hunk incapacitated half a dozen more with his canon. Allura and Keith defended Pidge with electro whip and sword as she ran to the nearest terminal to find the location of the kidnapped citizens. When she found them she transmitted a map to everyone’s wrist displays.

“There are three of them. I’ve sent you their locations.”

“Great work, Pidge. Hunk, Allura, come with me to rescue the prisoners. Lance, go on with Pidge to the main control room,” Keith ordered. Lance was the most logical choice to defend Pidge while she worked. He could strike the enemy from a distance with his rifle and defend her in close quarters with his sword.

“Twenty doboshes remaining,” Coran’s voice announced over their helmet coms.

“Let’s move!” Keith shouted, and they went their separate ways.

Keith, Allura, and Hunk had to fight their way through a corridor full of sentries who were dressed in pirate gear and wielding both energy pistols and swords. After making short work of this obstacle, they entered a larger room consisting of several levels of gantries and cells. The area was filled with guards, one of whom was a huge, troll-like creature who carried a massive club. He swiped at Allura just as Keith pushed her out of harm’s way. Hunk opened fire on the creature, distracting him as Keith attacked the sentry guards, slicing the several bots to pieces, but just then even more sentries poured into the detention area brandishing their weapons. The Paladins were vastly outnumbered. Allura rushed to locate the three prisoners and release them from their cells. Romelle, Shay, and Axca soon emerged from the cubicles that Allura had opened. “I think we have some more allies in this fight,” Allura called to the others.

“Shay!” Hunk shouted. “Get her out of here!”

“I want to help,” the Balmeran girl said as she moved toward the battle. Axca and Romelle had already picked up fallen energy pistols and were combating the sentries nearest them. Shay used her size and strength to her advantage in the conflict, hurling sentries left and right, while Allura ran towards the troll-like monstrosity. She leaped onto its back and encircled the creature’s thick neck with her whip. It screamed in agony as she sent electrical currents through its artificial hide and android body. The pirates opened fire on Allura, knocking her down from the monster’s shoulders. Her armor protected her from the worst of the blast, but she fell to the deck, stunned.

“Allura!” Keith screamed. He ran towards her.

The troll-like creature was still disoriented from Allura’s attack. Hunk spotted a row of gantries and empty cells above the monster’s head and opened fire with his most powerful missiles, collapsing the structure on top of the monster.

Keith had lifted Allura’s unconscious body from the deck while Axca and Romelle provided cover for them. “We have to get to the hangar now! We are running out of time!”

“But what about Lance and Pidge?” Hunk asked, running after the others.

The corridor ahead of them was blocked by four pirate sentries with energy swords. Lance shot the first one who changed at them, but dodged as the second attacked with its sword. Lance’s Bayard transformed to its Altean broadsword form and he engaged in a furious duel with the bot. Pidge had managed to short-circuit the third sentry with her Bayard, but the fourth pirate sentry seized her, picking her up from the deck and holding its sword to her throat. She screamed. Lance heard her just as he had just sliced the second sentry in half, and while his sword was still in motion, his Bayard transformed back into a rifle. In one fluid movement, he aimed and fired at the pirate’s head, blasting it off of its shoulders. Pidge jumped down from its embrace as it collapsed. “Way to go, Sharpshooter!” Lance grinned at her.

“Ten doboshes!” Coran announced from the observation deck. Sam and Colleen had come by to watch the training exercise, unbeknownst to the Paladins. They watched as Lance and Pidge ran through the corridor towards the control room.

Keith helped a very groggy Allura down the passageway to the hangar where the lions were protected by their particle barriers. “Will you be able to fly?” He asked.

“I think so,” she straightened to her full height and saw that Hunk was already leading Shay aboard Yellow Lion. Romelle took Allura’s arm and led her towards Blue, and then Axca quickly followed Keith towards Black Lion.

The control room was filled with sentries, but Lance and Pidge took them out in a matter of moments. Pidge ran to the main terminal as Lance opened fire on the sentries that poured through the open doorway. Pidge’s fingers flew over the key pad as row after row of data scrolled up the display screen. “Hurry! Pidge, there’s too many of them!” Lance continued to pick them off.

Pidge didn’t answer him. Even if the flagship was destroyed, she had to send out the signal to disable the destroyer drones, or they would continue on their predetermined plan of attack on the colony. The program that she was trying to hack was one of the most complex she had ever seen. Her brow was damp with nervous perspiration. She began to panic.

The last of the sentries had been taken down by Lance’s sword, just as Pidge yelled, “I’m in!”

“Five doboshes,” Coran announced.

“Red and Green just took off without them, Keith,” Hunk’s voice announced over their comm channel.

“Lance, Pidge, report in. What’s your status?” Keith asked from Black Lion’s cockpit.

“She’s reprogramming the destroyer drones now,” Lance replied.

“Keith, Red and Green have flown away from the battle, far beyond the blast radius. The coalition flight group has disengaged as well. The destroyers are almost to the planet’s surface!” Allura cried, despair in her voice. “They will never make it out in time.”

“Red and Green would never abandon them like that, would they?” Hunk asked. “How will they get to their lions?!”

“Pidge, we have to go now!” Lance yanked her from the terminal pulling her towards the corridor.

“There’s an airlock to the left side of the next corridor,” she said, and they ran towards it.

Just then a sentry opened fire on them from behind. Pidge fell to the deck. Lance turned and blasted the robot to pieces. “Pidge! Are you alright?” He knelt beside her, then helped her to stand.

“My suit’s Okay, But my jetpack isn’t.” Lance opened the airlock and pulled her inside.

“Then you’ll just have to hold onto me. Don’t let go.”

“I won’t.”

Lance opened the door to the hull, and they were pulled into the vacuum of space. Pidge was holding on to him with her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him, and Lance clasped her to his chest with all of his strength. Screaming, they tumbled through the void.

Allura was monitoring the drone attack. “The destroyers...they’ve stopped!”

“Pidge’s hack worked!” Hunk exclaimed. “But where are they?!” Hunk and Allura both had tears streaming down their faces.

“Keith?” Allura called.

Keith didn’t respond. His eyes went blank, and he glowed with quintessence. Black was communicating with him, telling him what he must do. He inserted his Bayard into its port, and suddenly Black Lion was no longer there.

Lance had activated his jetpack and was flying away from the inevitable destruction of the flagship. He held Pidge close to him. She was sobbing. “We aren’t going to make it.”

Just then, Black Lion appeared out of nowhere, his mighty jaws open to catch Lance and Pidge, then teleport away to where Red and Green were waiting for them. The flagship exploded, bright as a nova.

“End simulation,” Coran said, and everyone in the control booth stood in shocked silence. The Paladins, along with their rescued “hostages” were once again standing on the white floor of the training deck: Hunk and Shay, Allura and Romelle, Keith and Axca... But Lance and Pidge were floating in midair, still clinging to each other as the antigravity field lowered them to the deck. They were both breathing heavily, and when they landed, they took off their helmets.

“That was terrifying,” Pidge said weakly. Lance hugged her.

“It was so realistic. I thought we were going to die,” Lance admitted. They were both shaking.

“Well done, team,” said Shiro, who had just come down from the observation deck.

“Keith has unlocked Black Lion’s ability to teleport,” Allura said proudly.

“Hunk and Allura managed to take down the troll by working as a team,” Keith added.

“And Lance’s combat scores are the highest he’s ever earned,” Shiro added. “His Bayard transformed from rifle to sword and back again, and he used those transformations flawlessly. I have never seen him fight like that.”

“I had the right motivation,” Lance said. “My mission was to protect Pidge.” Lance had his arm around her shoulders, and he gave her a little squeeze. She blushed and smiled shyly.

“Pidge, That slave circuit program was designed to be unhackable in the time you were given. What you did was nothing short of astonishing,” Shiro said with admiration for the youngest Paladin.

“She saved the entire colony from the destroyer drone attack,” Hunk added.

“Outstanding work, everyone.” Keith had his arms around Allura and Hunk. He gave them each a side hug, then moved to hug Lance and Pidge. “I’m really proud of you two,” he said while hugging them both simultaneously.

“You saved us, Keith,” Pidge said.

“Yeah, man. You were amazing.” Keith smiled, then gave Lance a little pat on the shoulder.

“The whole team was amazing. Let’s hit the showers and meet up at the Paladins’ lounge for lunch.”

[luckylq27-blog]

Bylsma said he knew the players were shocked right away

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[yungimmortals]

obnoxious ship meme for wondertwins and bancroft/cam?

k o d a  &  c h a s e

always wins when they play Trivia Crack

hmm...koda? i think? she has a lot of random knowledge thanks to her best friend being a daughter of athena (shoutout to hazel ily)

laughs when their partner trips on something

both of them, they’re hopeless goofballs. and definitely both kinda clumsy. but they help each other up!!

would drop ice down the back of the other’s shirt as a joke

omg also both of them!! turns into a little prank war and they each try to one-up the other until someone gets sprayed with a hose i feel like.

spoils the ending of books/movies

books? koda, the little chatterbox. she just goes on and on about whatever she’s read/audiobooks she’s listened to and we all know chase can’t read so it’s not a big deal. but movies? she either asks a million questions or correctly guesses the ending and chase hits her with a pillow.

always posts a picture of the other as their MCM or WCW

koda starts #mkm (morph kid mondays) as soon as she gets back and posts pictures of her siblings asleep in random places using strange things as pillows/blankets. alternately, tuesdays become #twintuesdays and she and chase take turns sharing ridiculous photos they’ve taken of each other throughout the years. matching christmas pjs, anyone?

eats the last piece of cake in the fridge before the other can have it

it is a BATTLE fork vs knife between them for the last piece of cake. they end up splitting it afterwards.

obnoxiously celebrates Monday Punday every week

i feel like this is chase and koda’s absolutely cracking up over his jokes

makes loving hack posts on the other’s Facebook/Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter etc

both of them would do this but it’s impossible to tell if it’s a hack post bc they love each other so much that they post that shit normally

has to beat their partner in every game

omg they both try so hard to beat each other at whatever game they’re playing. they also frequently wrestle bc they’re morons like that and jesse walks in like “again?????” 

keeps their partner up half the night talking about random stuff

gods, both of them. koda can talk FOREVER but i feel like when you put them together?? especially considering how long they’ve known each other? they can talk endlessly about absolutely anything, even the most random stuff

eats too much garlic and tries to kiss their partner anyway

koda is garlic queen and she’ll breathe garlic in chase’s face like the tiny heathen she is

g r a v e s  &  c l e o

always wins when they play Trivia Crack

hmm...cleo? graves has an approximate knowledge of many things so maybe he gets some lucky wins but i feel like cleo is victorious most of the time

laughs when their partner trips on something

cleo!! graves trips bc she says something that makes his brain melt

would drop ice down the back of the other’s shirt as a joke

sigh graves would and cleo would shriek and pout and call him “cameron”

spoils the ending of books/movies

graves just assumes she’s seen the movie he’s talking about and casually drops a mega spoiler without realizing

always posts a picture of the other as their MCM or WCW

hmm i could see them both doing this?

eats the last piece of cake in the fridge before the other can have it

graves would never, he’s learned from his sisters not to take food that doesn’t have his name on it, so it’s all for cleo

obnoxiously celebrates Monday Punday every week

cleo has some good puns tbh, i feel like it could alternate tho

makes loving hack posts on the other’s Facebook/Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter etc

lmao cleo does this!!!!

has to beat their partner in every game

sorry cleo graves is so competitive i hate him

keeps their partner up half the night talking about random stuff

i would say cleo? keepin him up to talk about the most recent rom com that made her weepy and insisting “cameron you have to watch the next one with me!”

eats too much garlic and tries to kiss their partner anyway

both!! of!! them!! but in the situation where it’s graves, he just smiles at cleo and she knows whats about to happen and laughs/shrieks as she runs away but he catches up to her and is SO GARLIC

[nytech]

February 2020 Newsletter

Hello NY Techies, 

 It’s certainly been a mild winter, but NYC’s tech ecosystem continues to heat up with spring on the horizon, and we have some great announcements and tech events for you to check out!

 Questions? Contact support@nytech.org

Best,  

Andy + the NY Tech Alliance Team

UPCOMING NY TECH ALLIANCE EVENTS & ANNOUNCEMENTS

****VC UPDATE 2020: MARKET OUTLOOK & STRATEGIES FOR GETTING TO A TERM SHEET – FEBRUARY 27****

Join us for our first event of our Foundations of Entrepreneurship series of 2020! We will be presenting our 2020 update on the venture capital financing market for early-stage companies. The panel will feature representatives from some of the top funds and organizations, both large and small. Together, they will be addressing the outlook for early-stage VC financing for the coming year, as well as providing attendees with practical advice on identifying and connecting with VCs.

 GET YOUR TICKETS AT: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/vc-update-2020-market-outlook-strategies-for-getting-to-a-term-sheet-tickets-91339634305?discount=NYTECH2020

****MARCH 2020 NY TECH MEETUP - MARCH 3****

Join us for NYC's most famous and longest running monthly tech event! You'll see a fantastic lineup of New York tech companies presenting live demos of their products, followed by an afterparty where you can network with the community and meet our demoers and sponsors.

 GET YOUR TICKETS AT: http://bit.ly/mar2020nytm

****NY TECH MEETUP: CLEANTECH DEMO NIGHT EVENT – CALL FOR APPLICATIONS****

On Tuesday April 7, NY Tech Meetup will be partnering with NYSERDA to spotlight tech companies who are focused on creating new sustainable technologies in the clean energy sector. Applications are now open, with the submission deadline being Friday, February 28. Applicants will be notified on whether they have been selected by Monday, March 9. Good luck, and we hope to see you at the event to show your support for sustainability and a greener future!

 Apply today at https://forms.gle/1zoaE9WFqxygkXpR9

****NY TECH ALLIANCE CEO ROUNDTABLE - CALL FOR APPLICATIONS****

CALLING ALL CEOs! NY Tech Alliance is currently accepting applications for a limited number of spaces for our CEO Roundtable Program. This small group of committed CEOs from growing technology companies meets monthly to discuss issues each is facing in their day-to-day. Conversations are kept confidential and participating CEOs are selected to ensure non-competitive participation.

 Meets Monthly on Monday Evenings

Midtown Manhattan Location

6:00-9:00 pm

 Apply today at https://goo.gl/forms/FdtmC3OqNC40ejiw2, or email andy@nytech.org with any questions.

****STAY CONNECTED WITH NY TECH ALLIANCE*****

To better help our members stay connected before, during, and following our events, we have incorporated Hio into our ecosystem.

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  UPCOMING PARTNER EVENTS & ANNOUNCEMENTS

****Black Women Talk Tech: 2020 Roadmap to Billions Conference – February 27-29****

Roadmap to Billions is for self-identified black women founders with scalable businesses and technology companies, investors, tech evangelists and their allies. The immersive three-day tech conference, designed by black women founders for black women founders, includes keynote speakers, panel discussions, networking, and more!

 Use the code RTB-DXE3EP3M for a 25% registration discount!

For more info and to register: https://www.blackwomentalktech.com/

****LYLAS Labs: Open Data Hack on Pay Parity - March 1****

Submitted by: Margaret Smiley

LYLAS Labs is uniting with 50+ New Yorkers across industries on Sunday, March 1 to develop open data solutions to advance pay parity.

The day-long hackathon will engage interdisciplinary teams to propose creative technical solutions to the gender pay gap as part of NYC's annual Open Data Week.

LYLAS Labs hackathons are open to all participants, regardless of technical experience or subject matter expertise.

 Use the code lylaspartner for a 20% registration discount!

To register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/lylas-labs-open-data-hack-on-pay-parity-tickets-91444550111

****SportTechie's State of the Industry - March 26-27****

Submitted by: Dan Kaufman

SportTechie's State of the Industry is the world's premier conference on how technology is changing the way we play, consume, produce and train for sports. We will focus on the following tracks, which include keynote conversations, TED-talk style presentations, and panels, all at Barclays Center in Brooklyn:

- Athlete Performance Tech

- Sports Venue Tech

- Sports Media Tech

- Sports Sponsorship Tech

 Use the code SOTI_NYTECH for a 10% registration discount!

For more info and to register: https://events.sporttechie.com/SOTI

****The Emotion AI Conference - March 30****

Submitted by: Seth Grimes

The Emotion AI Conference offers an industry perspective on affective technologies, taking place March 30 in New York. Research speakers from tech firms, industry, and academia will speak on use of natural language processing, voice tech, facial coding, and neuro methods to detect and apply emotion in and via social and online media, in-vehicle and in-lab, and conversational interfaces.

Use the code NYTECH for a 20% registration discount!

http://emotionai20.com

****Veritonic Job Opportunities****

Veritonic is looking to hire for both a Director of Business Development, and a Sales Development Representative. Please use the following links to apply!

Director of Business Development 

Sales Development Representative

 Veritonic is the audio intelligence platform, empowering marketers to understand and quantify the most effective way to use sound.  We help platforms like Pandora and brands like Visa win the audio renaissance.

    THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!

Annual Premier Sponsors:   Xandr

Annual Sustaining Sponsors:  

EisnerAmper EY

NYIT Work Better

 

Annual Supporting Sponsors:

Accenture

Propeller Industries

Sabety+associates Withum

Annual Contributing Sponsors:

Corsis

Crown Castle

DWT Digital Counsel

Google  

=================================================== 

HOW TO REACH NY Tech Alliance and NY Tech Meetup 

Website: nytech.org 

Page for Applying to Demo: https://nytech.org/about/apply-to-demo 

Site for Tickets:  https://nytech.org/monthly_meetup 

Newsletter Submissions: https://nytech.org/events 

E-Mail: Andy Saldaña, Executive Director: andy@nytech.org

[tumbledsom]

Former Aussie Cricketer Darren Lehmann Quits Social Media After Bizarre and ‘Vile’ Twitter Hack On Monday, Lehmann's Twitter account was hacked and hackers posted derogatory messages from the handle after changing the profile name and display picture. via Top Buzz News- News18.com

[osrachnari-blog]

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  Audience Score - 22012 reviews Genres - Role Playing Chucklefish Limited.

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Série Stardew Valley com MODS: 1ª SÉRIE de Stardew Valley: Tutorial - Como Voltar Pa. Not likely to finish anything else at this point, so let's call it a year. Had fun, even if things didn't go according to plan. Thank you. Dragon Age: Inquisition (PS3. The main line and sidequests have enjoyable stories, and they did an excellent job of letting characters grow as you progress - there were a few I started out disliking quite a bit, but they grew on me by the end. Mostly. I didn't kick Sera out? Subtitles were good, with a couple options for how much you pick up. Th.

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Posted: 12/30/2019. R/StardewValley: Stardew Valley is an open-ended country-life RPG with support for 1-4 players. (Multiplayer isn't supported on mobile) Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. User account menu • what is the original zoom % on switch.

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[mi6-cafe]

The second week of writing for LDWS participants has come to a close. Now it’s time for the next bit of the competition: reading and voting!  

prompt: “just one shot”  Word count: 200 Challenge: use only seven paragraphs 

Voters–after you read, check out this form to vote for your top three drabbles! You can also leave anonymous feedback for the writers!

Who can vote? Anyone who’s read the drabbles! Yes, that includes YOU!  

Writers–you may also vote, but we do ask that you vote for three drabbles other than your own.  

The voting period ends at 11:59 PM EST on Sunday night. Results will be posted and anonymous feedback will be emailed on Monday.

Remember, readers–it’s up to YOU to decide who will wind up on top at the end of the competition!

Drabbles are under the read-more:

#1 

Title: Easy Shot

Author: kiddohno

Warnings: Drinking/Alcohol

Summary: James watches over a drunk Q.

It had been a slippery slope.

Q had agreed to just one shot. One, he’d said, and that’s it. James had waved the bartender over, ordered something sweet that would go down easy. So easy, that Q had acquiesced to a second, third, fourth… While James had nursed a single martini, quickly sensing that one of them would have to keep their wits.

James then watched, amused, as Q had gone from drinking to dancing. Energetically and enthusiastically making his way around the club, movements somehow both wild and graceful. While he drew plenty of attention, he politely declined any approach, allowing only brief conversations that James couldn’t hear over the loud beat of the music.

When Q eventually made his way back to the bar to order another shot, he was also determined to get the agent to dance with him.

“You’re drunk,” James had observed while Q threw back the shot.

“Hmm,” Q’d agreed as he plucked the stick of olives from James’ martini. In one deft movement he’d brought them to his mouth and pulled them off, eyes on James. “Absolutely.”

James finished the martini in one go, and let himself be led out onto the floor.

#2 

Title: Consequences Author: IrishWitch58 Warnings: canon typical violence Summary: Q is injured and Bond responds in kind

Just one shot started this, leaving Q lying in a hospital bed with machines and monitors. Surgery had stabilized him but now the doctors were just waiting for his own body to catch up and start healing the damage.

Bond was not waiting. He touched one pale hand briefly, and turned on his heel, leaving the hospital room to the sigh and beep of the machines.

Q's second was competent, professional and as angry at the attack as Bond was. R had used facial recognition software to follow the gunman. “We think he's gone to ground. He hasn't left the country.” She handed over a file with pictures. “This is what we know about him.”

The file and an unregistered weapon rested in the passenger seat. Bond eyed the closed petrol station sure his target was inside. Bond could wait now, the patient repose of a predator.

There was a stir at the back door. A figure in a black cap and denim jacket stepped out, glancing around nervously.

Bond raised the pistol and called the name on the file. A startled face turned, eyes wide. A hand made a futile grab for a weapon.

Just one shot ended it.

#3

Title: Realization Author: sunaddicted Rating: T Warnings: canon violence Summary: one moment - that's all it takes

Q could barely believe how a moment had so suddenly changed his priorities: as he watched 007 fall, blood blooming worryingly bright against the white of his shirt, he couldn't help wondering about why he had rejected James again and again - afraid of something happening to him and being left alone.  

It hadn't changed the fact that Q loved him - it had only been a waste of time.  

Q dropped to his knees and unceremoniously dragged 007 behind a corner, his heartbeat barely slowing down when he felt the other's chest rise and fall under his fingers as he grabbed his Walter; he could have easily hacked it, if he had had at least his mobile on hand - as critical as the situation was, though, Q put the gun in James' hand "Can you shoot propped up against me?"

"It's n-not... ideal"

Q forced himself to ignore the blood that coated James' lips "I asked you if you can do it - not if it's ideal"

"Bossy" James coughed up a chuckle as Q moved him around "Anything you need, my dear Quartermaster"

"Just one shot" Q reassured, entwining their fingers together around the grip of the gun, ready to shoot.

#4

Title: Qustom Made

Author: Venstar

Warnings: None

Summary: a leap of faith.

He was standing on a precipice, the world seemed to disappear below him. Bond glanced up at the night sky, the stars winked at him through the passing storm clouds. Water dripped from his face and bespoke suit as he calmly considered his options.

A voice, soft, posh and very threatening crackled to life in his ear. “Tick, tock, Mr. Bond. Tick tock. Time waits for no man.”

A wry smile pulled at Bond’s lips and thought back to the trio of movies Q had forced him to watch months ago when he had discovered Bond hadn’t understood what my precious meant during one of their lazy lie-ins. “I am no man.”

The voice laughed in response. It was broken up by static. “Very clever, now move your arse. You’ve got just one shot at this. Make it count.”

Bond considered the height that he was about to drop from. “Just like threading a needle, Q.” He adjusted his stance and bent his knees.

A snort came over the line. “Do you sew Mr. Bond?”

“All my suits are Qustom made,” Bond said as he leaped. A delicate, black parachute unfolded from his jacket with the tug of a cufflink.

#5 

Title: Shots Author: ato Warnings: none Summary: Q receives an unexpected invitation...

“C’mon, Q.  Just one shot.”

Q’s surprised Bond would forego his usual elegant cocktails.  After a moment’s hesitation, he nods and claims the last open barstool in the noisy pub.  With a smirk, Bond holds two fingers up to the barkeep, quirking an eyebrow at Q, who points to the scotch on the top shelf.  It turns out to be very good, and they don’t stop at one.

Hours later, lying on his stomach with the sheets pooled around his waist, completely shagged out and grinning, Q notices James fiddling with his phone.

“Oh, no.  No photographic evidence of this encounter.  You’re smug enough.”

“Just one shot,” James insists, leaning over Q and kissing his neck.  “Just here... the nape of your neck and this curl I keep playing with and this mole.  No one else will know it’s you.  For when I’m on mission.”

Q buries his face in the pillow, and the shutter clicks.

Days later, a worried Q listens on as James gets himself cornered and reduced to one bullet.  Still, James insists he has everything he needs.  Just one shot.  He’s soon home with an empty clip, a mischievous grin, and a bottle of foreign scotch.

#6 

Title: Take the shot Author: Susspencer Warnings: Gun violence, Summary:  Daily in the lives of Mi6 members everything can be different if things just go a different way.  Whether it’s a double 0 or someone from Q branch or even Moneypenny, life sometimes only gives you just one shot.  Will you take the shot or will you miss it?

“James, you have just one shot.” 007 swore this was the only instruction that he was ever given. His license to kill appeared limited.

“Take the shot!” M yelled, as Moneypenny peered through the scope. Two men stood fighting.  She took just one shot and watched a man fall from the train.

James had had enough of nursing his wound.  He took this one shot, that M would trust him enough to return to the game.  

Q's com was open, as he heard 007 fire. He watched as James’ shot went askew.  Q adjusted the trajectory with the click of a few computer buttons. Just one shot, with Q's help, became fatal.

After a tetanus shot at medical, with a watchful eye of a concerned friend, it was off for the weekend. The life of a 00.

Friday night at the pub, meant 00’s and shots. They taunted him. “Come on, just one shot.”  Q had warm fuzzy feeling and then sleep.

The next morning Q found himself in James’ bed.  Q recalled how he arrived in this position. Q smiled.  “It took just one shot to get here, but several others to point the way,” as he kissed James.

#7

Title: Biology and the Perils of Efficiency

Author: Gwylliondream

Warning: None

Summary: Bond is the oldest agent on the MI6 payroll.

Sweaty and panting, but far from sated, Bond lay facedown on the duvet. Every muscle in his back tensed beneath Q’s fingertips.

Outside, the rain fell. The power had failed an hour earlier, but Q’s flat glowed with the help of some candles. When Bond escorted the Quartermaster home from the floodlit halls of MI6, he hadn’t expected an invitation inside.

Q grabbed two handfuls of firm arse. He took care to massage them deeply before lowering his mouth to the small of Bond’s back.

Bond gasped and shuddered, too breathless to demand that Q get on with it.

Moving toward his prize, Q felt the fluttering beneath his tongue. He maintained his demeanor, no matter how badly he wanted to grin. He drew back and blew a gust of hot breath across Bond’s arsehole. The candles flickered, sending shadows across the walls.

Bond’s toes clenched as he found his voice. “Don’t stop, for fuck’s sake!” he pleaded for Q to continue.

Q smiled and rested his hand on one arse cheek. Biology dictated that a man of Bond’s age had just one shot. Q was determined to make it worth his while… even if it took him all night.

#8

Title:  Down

Author: Iambid/Flantastic

Warnings: None

Summary: When things go wrong, Q will always find him

The pub was a dive.  Not James’s usual style.  Q found him propped up against the bar, his bruised and bloody hands wrapped around a tumbler of whiskey.  James hadn’t been able to stop the man he’d been tracking and his device had killed so many people.  He’d disappeared but he was no match for Q.  James drunkenly raised an eyebrow when he saw him.

“Smartblood, remember?”  Q said as he tapped the injection point on James's arm.

“Smart boy.”  James countered, smiling.  His face fell.  “You shouldn’t come looking for me.”

“You shouldn’t crawl into the bottom of a bottle whenever a mission goes wrong.”

“What else is there?”  James asked.  “I don't have anything else,” he said, as Q leaned over and kissed his cheek.  “You have me.”

James shook his head sadly and for a moment Q thought he might try to push him away.  He had before and it hurt Q to think he couldn’t always make things better for his agent.  James sniffed and suddenly threw back his drink before beckoning over the barman.

“Just one more shot.”  Q said gently, running his fingers over James’s sleeve.  “And then come home with me.”  James nodded.    

#9 

Title: It's a Date Author: solarmorrigan Summary: Q gives Bond some incentive to make it home in one piece Warnings: None

“You should go to dinner with me,” Bond said, “when I get back.”

“And you should focus on the matter at hand, 007. Try to be professional,” Q chided, more amused than anything; it wasn’t as though he wouldn’t say yes eventually, but he liked to make Bond wait for it.

A few shots rang out over the comm, corresponding to the guards Q could see drop down on the security feed he had running onscreen. “I am focused,” Bond insisted. “I’m capable of multitasking, you know.”

There was a sharp reply ready on Q’s tongue, but it was lost when a flurry of activity occurred onscreen; an unexpected group of guards, an alarming amount of gunfire, and a heart-pounding few moments of silence while Q searched the security feed for Bond.

“007, report.”

“Uninjured. Penned in,” Bond’s voice came through, quiet but steady; there was a brief pause. “Low on ammunition. I have one bullet.”

Q was already typing, looking for a way, any way, to get Bond out. “Well, you’d better make it back. It’s my understanding that I should have dinner with you,” Q murmured, still searching. “I’ll give you just one shot, 007. Don’t waste it.”

#10 

Title: A Quick Pick-Me-Up Author: azure7539arts Warnings: None Summary: Bond was trying so hard to stay sober for this. He really was.

-

“Just one shot?”

Bond said nothing and finished the rest of his Scotch, which, no matter how much he didn’t want to agree with her right then, really didn’t feel anywhere near enough at all. “I still have a mission to monitor, thanks,” he replied, and even without looking, he could still feel the sharp edge of Eve’s sly smile brushing right up against the edges of his senses.

“R can always take over, you know,” Eve offered, bridging the short gap between them to come lean against the table Bond was also occupying. “Speaking of which… how’s our boy doing?”

“Spectacular,” Bond mumbled before he could stop himself, the indignant hints like budding thorns under the gruff of his voice.

Eve’s grin had become positively shark-like. “Admit it, this isn’t about something as petty as you being jealous because Q’s getting all the attention. You’re actually jealous because he’s out seducing someone else and is doing a fine job at it, too.”

Bond’s eyes flitted over to where the remaining bottle of Scotch was.

Distantly, he contemplated just downing the whole thing, firmly ignoring the heat that had begun spreading all over his back just from listening to her.

#11 

Title: Formidable Author: solitaryjane Warnings: none Summary: Bond and Q go rogue together, and the first act is to assassinate M.

This is it, Bond knows. There is no turning back.

He adjusts the sniper rifle and looks once more through the scope. The action is redundant and a bit obsessive, not exactly something 007 is particularly known for. It’s fitting, however, in lieu of his new persona, one that has crept into his subconscious without a by-your-leave. MI6 has betrayed him, betrayed them both, and they’re simply not willing to play anymore.

On the other side of the scope sits Mallory in his fortified office. The window is triple-reinforced, but Bond knows the bullet will penetrate it like spun sugar - Q invented it after all. He will have three minutes to get to the car, fourteen to avoid all the roadblocks. Once he gets outside London proper, where Q is patiently waiting, they’ll be free.

His earpiece crackles. “Now or never, James,” the familiar voice prods, and Bond smirks. He can almost see the green eyes through the camera perched above. Won’t be long, darling, he thinks, and the smile grows wider. It won't.

Bond doesn't look away this time. His hand is steady on the trigger, the aim perfect. His heart leaps at his throat.

Just one shot.

Go.

#12

Title: Never A Good Sign

Author: melynen

Warnings: none

Summary: After a night out, Bond and Q have a little talk.

“‘Just one shot’, you said,” Q glares at Bond. “‘It won’t have any effect on you’, my arse.”

“That one didn’t, no,” Bond says mildly. “It was the subsequent six that did, I believe.”

Q huffs through his nose and looks at the man standing in the middle of his office. It’s unfair, really, how he never seems to suffer from any ill effects from all the drinking Q sees him do. Even now, barely five hours after having escorted his sloshed Quartermaster safely home and setting out water and painkillers at the ready on his bedside table, Bond hardly looks affected by the early hour.

But then, Q brightens considerably. “Vomiting all over your lap was the highlight of my evening, though.”

“I’m sure,” Bond says, and he sounds amused. He pauses and his eyes twinkle; it’s never a good sign. “You did quite thoroughly wreck my suit, darling. I fear it may be a lost cause, so I may require some form of… compensation from you.”

Q blinks, eyes tracking Bond’s movements. “Really, 007?”

Bond steps into his personal space, lips brushing against his ear, and Q shivers. “Oh yes. We shall revisit the topic once I return.”

Thank you to our amazing drabble writers for taking the shot this week!

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