#monkey bussiness

[javascript-official]

god dammit monkey #43333357383723 you typed all the works of Shakespeare now we are out of a fucking job

[charsui]

Posted this to a one piece community thing then realised it didn't go to the regular blog and I'm not typing it out so screenshot she is

[l6sadi]

My ass trying to get a job

[laelelinae]

What songs would HSR men listen to? modern au!!

songs / music genre I think hsr men would listen to 🫣🫣

ft. Dan heng, Blade , Aventurine , Phainon & Luocha (also extras ft. Dr ratio , welt, caelus,mydei,sampo &bootyhill)

warnings : is a lil suggestive and a tiny bit freaky on aventurines , blade parts 😳

all repost & comments are appreciated !! :)

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

Dan heng :

ohmygyatt. Definitely cigarettes after sex , Mac Demarco & the neighborhood omg, his favorite songs are probably apocalypse, stop waiting & for the first time like imagine cuddling him or smth and just listening to cas?!?! I’d die for that smh , oh myysysysysys he probably also listens to keshi

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Blade :

HEAR ME OUT. He def listens to niravana , rammstein & Tyler , the creator. IMAGINE MAKING OUT WITH HIM WITH “smells like teen spirit” AT THAT PART OMFG. Jsjsjsjs anyways, I feel like he wouldn’t really have a favorite song, don’t get me wronggg, he loves the music he listens to but he jumps song to song a lot

extra : he probably likes the song “Teeth” by 5 secs of summer”

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Aventurine :

dude. FLIPPING LADY GAGA. Stay with me plz… like imagine having some moments with him and “monster” by lady Gaga plays ?! THATS SO &/$:$2&):&/&/. he probably loves poker face.. omfg he def likes The weekend and Rihanna, def favorites party monster , popular & breakin dishes OMG. just imagine he’s kissing u or teasing u and some slutty ahh song plays ?!?! IM GNA GO INSANE

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Phainon :

Bipolar music taste (me too), Lana Del Rey, Arctic monkeys , Chase Atlantic, wave to earth(MY BELOVED.) definitely hums the melody of “love.” or “Brooklyn Baby” a lot omg. IF HES GOING THROUGH HEARTBREAK SEASON PROBABLY LISTENS TO “no. 1 party anthem” JEEZ THIS CHEEKY MF😓.. I think if he ever likes someone , definitely listens to wave to earth a lot and thinks about that person :^

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Luocha :

Definitely Laufey, Tame impala & againnnn Mac Demarco c: I see him having a more calmer music taste , definitely likes working while listening to music and definitely a fan of being on indoors dates with his partner while listening to music oh em gee.. def that one vintage type of guy and always has music playing in his houseeee (so sorry this one is so short omg.)

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EXTRAS !!

Dr ratio: I feel like he doesn’t listen to proper music , like he would only play some random jazz or random music for his studies / work

Welt : wait guys, listen.. I think he would have a absolute cool dad music taste , def heavy on heavy metal & rock

Caelus: stay with me.. he definitely listens to K-pop PROBABLY A HUGE TWICE & ENHYPHEN OMG.

Mydei: don’t be mad at me guys.. but like.. def some cringey ass gym bro music IM SO SORRY

Sampo: this man. Oh my gosh. HE DEFINITELY HAS THE SLUTTIEST MUSIC TASTE. def listens to ayesha erotica and those Lady Gaga songs (ykik)

Boothill: … He's bouncing off my booty cheeks, I love the way he rides. I can hardly breathe when he's pumping deep inside. I kiss him on his neck and then he kisses on my bussy. Call him "Daddy" while I holler. Man, that boy so damn good looking

(I’m so sorry for boothill part…)

[miraclecherryblossomsblog]

Idk thsi sound bit odd but after finding out about the pygmy marmosets monkey I CANNOT STOP thinking about wukong having an tiny s/o like holding into your hand small......

And if any of ya'll think that would be weird want yall to remember these two (they are other examples but this the one i remember the easiest lol)

So like headcanons below cuz I been craving monke content like this ngl:

Tw: height difference, reader's a tiny money, slight blood & gore mention, wukong being the violent protective husband he is <33333

Ok so like.....tiny bitsy monke s/o..........

I'm not sure if I wan reader to be a pygmy marmosets or to be able to transform into one. Think both ideas would be neat so gonna try to include both here (keeping vague)

You on his shoulder most of the time, I can imagen the monkeys/ other people having to double check cuz boy you easy to miss XDDDDDD

honestly you could walk if you wanted butwukong prefers it when your close to him, gets bit pouty if u do decide to hop off and go your own feet

Lol everyone would be looking at him weird cuz my guy why's your lover the size of your palm?????? wukong would just shut them or tell them to mind their own bussiness

WAIT THESE YOU TWO MSJNSJDNSKJNDJSDNKSBDHBSHBSJDDHDBHJBDCSHGVCH

he likes to gently pass his fingers thru your furr when he's in deep thot

either him calling you his little treasure or the one we know the most Peaches (any other names r welcome)

spoils you, makes sure to bring the most gorgeous fabrics so that his monkey's make you custom clothing, honestly he wants you to shine, gotta make sure everyone knows who has stolen the kings heart

him with the joke that you actually took since you would be able to enter his rib cage and grab his heart if u wanted (he jokes but feel like he would let u if u asked tho.....)

OH OH WAIT What if you could like change you size???? like i know i mentioned transforming but I just thot monkey reader who can change her size to the actually size of the pygmy marmoset?????

(feel like you would still be pretty small but gon leave that up to you)

Ya'll fucking up with people by using your height to your advantage, like sneaking up to others or getting into tight spaces for you to hide

Has wukong smashed heads at anyone who talks bad behind your back? Yes and he will fucking do it again

there was once where he was about to break seller's neck cuz the idiot dare to grab you by the tail cuz he thot you were trying to steal his merchandise when you werent even in his shop, the assholes a hater like that smh

you managed to keep wukong from endidng the guy's life in the middle of the crowd but pretty sure the duede had to change his clothes afterwards skskskskskskskk

[aychama]

You mentioned Lambert gets scared if someone jokes about eating them/lamb meat. Will that play a role in the story? (Also love the world building with the anthropomorphic and non-abthro animals)

Thank you! ❤️

As a kid, Lambert was an apprentice for a butcher so they did see and participate in cutting and selling animal meat.

While working for the butcher, who was an old man that needed help keeping his bussiness up, Lambert grew attached to one of the sheeps who was not cut up past it's supposed date and grew really big because it was the butcher's grand daughter's favorite sheep.

To end up as a meal is a sheeps fate and in the end it wasn't diffrent for that sheep either.

When you put both anthro and non-anthro animals in a world together, you can't really escape making some kind of a connection between them I think.

So even though they are diffrent than each other just like humans and animals, they do have an empathetic connection between them. The closes to it would be like monkeys and humans I think.

Most people are creeped out by monkeys for they look like us (their limbs and faces) but we also find their young to look too much like human babies so some feel protective over them like a parent. (This could also apply to humans with cats and dogs too I think).

(Also just to be clear, there will never be romantic and/or sexual relationship between animals and animal-folk in my story and I will never portray it as such. I am harshly against zoophilia. Animal-folks are basicly humans with some animal features.)

I might make up a side story about a mother who has lost her child so in order to cope she tries to act like a parent to her pet.

Going back to Lambert, since we made the connection between animal-folk and regular animals, I want to explore how some kids and adults alike would call young Lambert and their siblings with names like "sacrificial lamb, piece of meat, bottom of the food chain, lamb chops etc." to rile them up or just hang the threat of being eaten over their heads. This kind of treatment could also happen to other prey animal-folks.

The animal-folks in my story are more like humans than animals so they wouldn't have strong prey-predator instincts but just like how humans can be cruel to others who aren't like them, I can see similar things happening in this world as well depending on which animal-folk group is dominating an area.

So in conclusion, even though it's not too severe, Lambert does have the fear of being eaten and has the habit of being violent against people who makes those kinds of threats against them as an adult.

(Btw Lambert can and does eat meat, their childhood fear does not conquer them)

Thank you for the ask! ❤️ and whoops sorry for yapping too much hdjfkfl

[mischiefwife]

Barcus should be a full companion.

Baldur's Gate 3 is really cool and i like it but why do we get like 5 recruitable variations of elf and not ONE short race? Dwarves gnomes and halflings are right there guys! Barcus could be the perfect answer for a buncha reasons.

First, you can recruit him early on. He's right there in the blighted village closer than Karlach is, so it isn't like you'll get him super late. Even have a funny opportunity to totally blow it by hitting the wrong lever (like how you can fuck up saving Gale). As for his class he's admittedly not good at fighting but he makes his own explosives so maybe he could be a good skill monkey type character OR be an artificer if they add that class.

Second, he's got hits of story in all three acts that would work perfect with him there. He's arguably got more potential story beats than Karlach. Act 1 save him and rescue the others from Grymforge. Act 2 find Wulbren in Moonrise, meet the Ironhands at Last Light. Act 3 decide how to deal with the Ironhands and the Gondians. Plenty of good and bad choices.

Third, even though he's clearly got Bongle bussy on his mind, Wulbren does not feel the same. Imagine a romance where you help Barcus out and then at the end he's like why was i chasing this asshole around when YOU were right here the whole time! It sound so dumb but it'd be cute as fuck.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[jazbina]

tagged by @lucija 💕🕺🏻

last song - the doll people by sofia isella (she lives rent free in my head)

last book - seven empty houses by samanta schweblin (short stories), the overstory by richard powers (novel) <3

last movie - how to make millions before grandma dies <3 ( but i have to also mention monkey man in an empty theatre...unmatchable)

last show - severance

last thing i looked up - what do we see when we look at the sky (movie title)

sweet*savory*spicy* - all. in that order

relationship status - not your or my bussiness tbh

looking forward to - babysitting my niece tomorrow <3

current obsession - severance, making popcorn, books by japanese and south korean contemporary authors (i'm looking at you han kang <3), vinted, caleb hearon, sve što rade srpski studenti, blocking on instagram (i should just delete the app at this point......getting on my last nerves...but...again.................i found sofia isella bc of ig so........ >:| ), did i say sofia isella bc YEAH SOFIA ISELLA. and sunsets all year every year until i die

@vjecitiapril @przdwiosnie @peachkaa @in-the-middle-of-november @desideria @nem4mp0jma @cancara @belog-grada-crna-princeza @cviksii @akopozelis @pyruvath9 @teskadivljina if you want 🎀

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

I think Viv has told about Adam because she is losing fans expecially ones from old fandom who like myths/religion who think adam was wasted character. I'm one of them (for example I remove my subscribe from her youtube and I'm not going to see next season) and I don't want adam back because she would turn in butt-monkey and not a true challange for narrative. For example all fic of adam is about begging to stay in hotel despite the fact in canon (and I'm talking HH canon) is brave,stubborn ,prideful and he cares about exocist and he faced Lucifer despite knowing he'd lose. So Adam in hell should be a challange for example overlord who killed sinners,he would never beg to HH adter they killed him and his girls. But there are two much plot-point already, so I hope he make cameo like lilith ,chilling in hell and minding his bussiness. He doesn't connect with lute because he knows lute can handle herself and exocists

This.

[locitawritingsblog]

Voices of Love

Based on Xiono Series from Wattpad

Summary : Yeager got a special holo-recorder from someone has been filling his void and became his part of his life. It brought a gift which something he never imaged he would have one ahead.

Yeager just finished checking his ship as Bucket came to him, bringing his com-link was turning off.

Yeager stared at him as tapping his droid's helmet and walked to his private office. Inside his office, there were a lot of holo-pictures on the shelves besides his trophies.

Yeager turned on his com-link to listen the voice.

"Hello Yeager ! It's Kaz. It's been two weeks since I left home for the resistance. I hope you, Tam, and Neeku are okay there.

Anyway, I wanna say thank you for keeping an eye on my daughter. I know we had some tough times but you lifted me up when I almost quit. I couldn't image seeing my daughter suffer like that. I still have doubt sometimes if I would be a good father for her. But you always remind me that I'm nothing like my own biological father, that makes me feel better to hear.

I'm so lucky to have you, like a father I've been look up to. To be honest, when I first time met you, you remind me a lot of my father but overtime you support me and always be there for me.

I'm so glad to getting know you, so did she having a great grandpa like you. By the way, don't tell Ayumi that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her tonight.

Okay, that's all for today. See you soon, Dad."

Yeager was pleased to hear his voice. He still couldn't believe he had a granddaughter even through they were not the same blood but they have a strong love to connect.

Then he got a call "Yeager, are you there ?" He responded "Yeah Torra, what is it ?"

"Can you pick Ayumi up from school ? It's almost about time to come home and I have an urgent appointment."

"You got a favor. I'll pick her up."

"Thank you, Yeager. See you tonight."

Before he left the office, he stared a holo-picture of him, Kaz and Ayumi for few seconds. He decided to use his ship to pick her up.

As waiting for the pick up, a six years old girl who wearing pigtails drawing her dad and herself holding hands until she noticed a familiar ship appear at her school.

"Grandpa !" She ran into her grandpa's arms and he lifted her up "Hi there, kid ! How was school ?" "It was nice, Grandpa. I drew this for daddy when he coming home."

She showed Yeager her drawing "It looks really nice, Ayumi. I'm sure your daddy will be like it."

At this moment, Ayu saw a young boy was around her age was made fun by those girls "Look at this smelly ! Eww, isn't your mommy give you a bath ?" A yellow mirialan girl spoke then the other two laughing at him.

Ayu couldn't stay quiet to seeing her friend was treated "Hey, leave him alone, Giselle !" Giselle quickly stared at Ayu "Mind your bussiness, monkey...." Ayu didn't like being called that nickname at all "...You and your not so bloody granpy better stay away."

Which Yeager was displased by Giselle's behavior "Excuse me, young lady. You better learn some manners to elders." He warned.

"Ha, such a word from monkey's granpy. Isn't that right, girls ?" Giselle didn't listen to Yeager, she and the other girls laughing at them instead.

"Girls..." The three girls were caught by a teacher who has a short brunette hair and wearing a glasses "This is not how we treat to people especially to parents." Then she stared at Yeager and Ayumi "I'm very sorry, sir. I'll make sure these girls will handled it."

"I hope so, Miss Windy." Yeager replied.

"Girls, go to my office. We'll have a serious talk." After Giselle and the other two left, Miss Windy checked on that boy.

"Are you alright, Randy ?" She helped him up.

"I guess so." He responded.

"Come on, buddy. Let's talk about this with your parents." Miss Windy took Randy's hand to her office.

"Alright sweetheart, let's go home." Yeager carried his granddaughter home.

Just back on the station, Yeager took her to the bed which where was her father, Kaz used to sleep.

As he put his granddaughter on the bed, she asked "Grandpa, why those girls are mean ?" He sighed "That's how the reality is, Ayumi. I guess those girls are being mean just to look good on themselves."

"It's not fair." She definitely wasn't like to hear that. He sighed as put his hand on her hand "I know, sweetheart but I am glad you stood up to your friend back there."

She smiled "Thank you Grandpa." Then she yawned.

He chuckled "Looks like you could have some nap." As Ayu laid down on the bed. Next, he wrapped her with a blanket. He rubbed her hair for a bit.

Two hours later...

Ayu had a peaceful sleep until she was shaken to wake her up "Hmm...Grandpa, give me five minutes. Please..."

A chuckled was heard "It's a good thing Bucket isn't the one who wake you up."

Ayu was surprised, hearing a familiar voice.

She opened her eyes slowly and rubbed her eyes then sat down. Few seconds later, she saw her father's face clearer. She finally could see her father after he was away for two weeks.

"Daddy !!!" She jumped into his arm.

"Aww, Ayumi, it's good to see you again." He hugged his daughter tightly. "Me too. I missed you so much." "I missed you too, Starcake."

At this moment, Kaz noticed Yeager watching them then he walked and put a hand on his shoulder "Welcome home, Kazuda." "Thank you for keeping an eye on her." Kaz smiled at him.

"You're welcome, Kaz. I'll always be there for you and your daughter." Yeager smiled back.

Note : I wrote Xiono Series on wattpad since the pandamic but it still stuck in my head so I decided to write here since I always use this app.

Taglist : @queen-daya , @cassie-fanfics , @zaya-mo , @fulltimecatwitch , @kanerallels , @commander-tech , @thebadbatch2022 , @catcucumber-salad , @twinsunstars

[black-rose-writings]

MLB - Season 3 - Episodes 19 and 20

Timetagger

Love Marinette trying to find excuses to defeat "weak" akumas that nobody else cares about anymore.

Cross-timestream cooperation.

Look at Gabenath, being all soft together.

Knowing where the series is headed, this is some really smart foreshadowing.

Party crasher

Secretly spending a weekend in your attic villain lair and with you Snow-Whited wife? Very normal behavior. Extremely hinged.

Shitty excuses? Check.

Bribe? Given.

Disabling the life support for your friend's "missing" mother's life support to boost your music? Coming right up.

Also, love how everything in the Agreste house is just high-tech superhero/villain lair tier shit (and I mean that in the best way possible).

Adrien disapproves of your stupid gender roles.

Tikki @ Marinette: Why the fuck you lying? Why you always lying?

Jesus Christ... that party started out like something kinda cool and turned into a nightmare.

"Joy! What's going on in my house!" He's so offended.

The edge of desperation really gives him flavor. And this whole Snow White lair is a much nicer environment for his antics.

Aww, man, I hoped he would stay in the snow white area for longer. Ugh.

Time for some monkey bussiness.

I do also really love the choices Gabe's voice actor makes with him. Like, they are the same character, but there is a really big difference between him in his Hawkmoth form and as Gabriel. I guess Hawkmoth is more... screechy? Is that the best word? Emotional is probably the better word. Gabe has very little emotion and when he does, it's pretty subtle and soft. Hawkmoth is a dramatic hoe that will do a villanous laugh unprompted.

I mean, a lot of the voice actors do change the voices between the character's different forms, but I think Gabe and Juleka are the two who change the most, and it works wonderfully.

[random-conspiracy]

So...

what I'm getting is that monkey's bussiness is being a writer. Is that it?

[trickster-whim]

Went out to goodwill because it's supposed to be cooling off, but I'm meant for subzero temperatures so it was sooo hotttt.

Anyway, I found some kinda vampy drink set?

It's hard to see (also hi, me) but it's shiny silver with acrylic (maybe?) red handles. The set looked really cool, but it didn't occur to me to look more closely because I don't have room for this kinda stuff, so I just left. I'm not even sure what you're supposed to put in it? But I woulda loved it for its vampy vibes.

In the toys, I saw what looked like a vintage teddy bear, something I'm always on the lookout for.

The fur looked nice and clean, so I picked it up and absolutely jumpscared myself.

The... the bussy....

So, uh, two things about me: 1) I love transformers and also have been complaining about not finding transformers at thrift stores lately, and 2) I hate gorillas. I really, really don't like them. The animals themselves are fine, and I like seeing them at the zoo, but I get so annoyed when I see gorillas anywhere else.

So of course I found an Optimus Primal toy, one of the only transformers I've seen lately. (My phone hates it too, I guess, or maybe I'm just bad at cameras.)

Like, not to be too weird, but also I absolutely am weird about this. I may be a zodiac monkey, but seeing monkeys gets my blood boiling. It's why I haven't been able to watch more than a handful of Beast Wars episodes. I just go apeshit when I see Optimus Primal's godforsaken face...!

Anyway, I'm very normal. Moving on.

Someone seemed to have offloaded their entire collection of books by one author. These weren't even all of them, just the ones on this shelf! So if you're looking for most of the Women of the Otherworld books, well. $2.25 each.

I took a picture of this shirt to show my sister. It's very her-coded. Also the semantics of it are a little confusing? Like, maybe "I'm gaming today. And tomorrow. And the day after that" or something to that effect but funnier, so the "not" doesn't get confusing. But it's the thought that counts.

I ended up buying a homemade dress because it was such a mess I needed it, and while I was nearby I saw this dress:

It's so pretty! My phone couldn't focus on it, but I wanted it! But I don't think it would fit, and I don't actually wear dresses, and I didn't want to spend $13. But those details!

[mostlyjustgoose]

one finger on the monkey’s paw curls. it hits the serotonin button in my bussy but at what cost

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer was up bright and definitely not early. He was so worn out front last night- but he couldn't help but love the feeling. It was nice to have a partner that could actually wear Lucifer down, he's always had a high sex drive, and Adam is the only one to actually make him tired. Lilith tried on their wedding night, but she only lasted 2 rounds.

Eventurally, Lucifer and Adam made their way to the Vatican. Lucifer has never been so nervous to see his father. He always has a feeling some of the higher ups would want a report about the Hazbin. They haven't been in contact, which is odd, but then again, neither has Lucifer.

He hasn't looked at Adam since they left the house, he doesn't look bad or anything, it's just taking all of his will power not to slam him against the wall and take him right here on one of the many bussy streets of Rome.

He kept his body from last night, Lucifer couldn't help but thank the Heavens. He managed to find one of Liliths old dresses that allowed Adam to make his curve bigger, much to the excitement of Lucifers dick.

Adam: You're very quiet, everything okay, babe?

Oh yeah, fine. Except for nearly every person the walked past couldn't take theor eyes off Adam. He's hot, he's the Devil, that's kind of his thing. Doesn't make Lucifer any less possessive, gripping his hand as tight as possible.

Adam: I would say it was the visit with your dad, but seeing as you decided to wear skinny jeans today, I have a feeling there's something else going on~

Lucifer: you could have been nicer to my dick if you presented as a guy today-

Adam: and try and squeeze my fat ass and cock into your jeans? Yeah, no way in Hell, babe

Lucifer: you said you can shrink?

Adam: pft, yeah! But I don't want to be 5"2! My will crack the concrete, you know this!

Lucifer: you're not THAT big, ducky

Adam: shape changer, baby~. It can be as big as i want~ oh! Bread!

Lucifer could breathe as he thought long and hard about that visual- he really shouldn't be doing this in the streets. He jogged over to Adam, who already had three different breads in his hands.

Adam: babe look! Pull apart garlic bread! I'm so tempted to eat it raw!

Lucifer: it's not that raw, Adam... and I'm not sure I can handle you smelling of sulfur AND garlic

Adam: rude, I've always managed to cover the sulfur smell! Hell fucking stinks, babe!

Lucifer glanced around the store. Everyone was looking at Adam, only Lucifer wasn't sure if it was because of them talking about sulfur or because of his body, either way, it was making him unforgettable.

Lucifer: just quickly buy your bread

At some point they actually made it out of the bakery, Adam decided to have a very in-depth discussion about food with the owner. Lhcifer learned that Adam actually did a lot of baking back in Hell, and now he's got a whole handful of new recipes to try. The bakers here usually hold onto their recipes but when Adam said he's only here for a trip he handed them over right away. It definitely wasn't because Adam leaned forward to show him as much tit as possible, and joking about making a milk delivery to his shop.

Lucifer: I can't believe you did that- you're so feral in public

Adam: you think that's feral? You should have seen me when civilization was really taking off! I'd pretend to run around the woods like a crazy person! Scared the shit out of everyone!

Lucifer: we call that Bigfoot, huh~

Adam: big-what? The giant monkey thing? Seriously? They thought I was some prehistoric ape!? I've never been so offended!

Lucifer: I'm only joking! You've been messing with me all week, I think I deserve to have a turn

Adam: fuck babe, who knew you had it in you~?

Adam was pulled back suddenly, looking behind him he saw Lucifer not moving and looking up.

Adam: uh... babe?

Lucifer: we're here... the Vatican

Adam looked ahead, and sure enough, he could see it- well, part of it - they were exactly right next to the Vatican, but they were getting there.

Looking back at Lucifer, Adam could see how petrified he was, whether it was of the church itself or his father, Adam wasn't sure.

Adam: ...we can do this another time, Luci, I'm here to enjoy this place with you... I don't want you to be uncomfortable- and I'd feel horrible if you think you have to do this for me

Lucifer: it's alright... either way I have to go in there, they'd more than likely want a report on the Hazbin... and I suppose they would have found out about Father Alastor. And my dad... well, he's just the cherry on the shit cake

Adam: we can go home and head up some bread? I saw how you were eying the sourdough~

Lucifer: that does sound nice, Adam... but we should get this over and done with, I'd actually like to enjoy my last few months on earth, I won't be able to do that if I'm dreading this the entire time

Adam: okay, fair enough, we'll take it slow though, I'm in no rush

Lucifer: that's not like you, you're always begging for something to go faster- usually me~

Adam: fucker- don't do this out here, I'm always in a state of horniness and you're definitely not helping

Lucifer: that's the point~

After more walking, Lucifer really started to wish he brought the car because every few minutes, Adam was stopping to look at something or talk to someone. Who would have thought the Devil was charming and charismatic? Bastard.

He's lucky he's adorable when he's excited. Pinting random buildings out to Lucifer, stopping in front of shop windows, cooing at peoples dogs, and the strangest thing was him making bird noises. He looked like he was actually talking to the birds. What is happening?

Lucifer started to think Adamw as just stalling for him, because before he knew it, they were walking towards the enterence to the Vatican.

Lucifer could see the subtle shift in Adams behavior. His breathing got quicker, and he looked like he was in pain.

Lucifer: Adam? Ducky?

Adam: I-I'm okay, Luci... it's just been a while since I've stood on such holy ground...

Lucifer: Anything I can do? The babies will be okay- right?

Adam: babies will be fine, babe, I'm using my power to protect them from him... me on the other hand, I might be a bit weak, but everything should be fine as long as I don't reveal my self right away-

Lucifer: what will you do?

Adam: once I get to the main room, I'll release a few demons from Hell, and they'll take over the job of corrupting this shit hole

Lucifer: huh... don't you think that'll make you reveal yourself?

Adam: my demons are quick, they'll possess who they need to get the job done, it'll be fine, Luci! And to think, you could have met me here~

Lucifer: ha! Just imagining you possessing Father Andrew is hilarious to me

Adam: oh yeah? Why's that

Lucifer: man's ugly and old as fuck, just me, we wouldn't have fucked- no matter how much you flirt~

Adam: hm... that sounds like a challenge~

Lucifer: wha- what? Babe! You're pregnant! I won't allow my babies to be inside? Of Father Andrew! That's how that works?

Adam: No, not exactly, cute try though, babe

Lucifer: wait, that'll happen to the babies if you possess someone?

Adam: they're souls go to Hell until I reform their bodies! Which happens right away after I finish possessing someone-

Lucifer: yeah that's cool and all but I'd rather my babies stay here, close to me- to us, okay Addie?

Adam: I love seeing you be so protective of them, Luci~. I'll keep them here, they'll never leave us

Adam lent over and kissed Lucifers cheek.

Lucifer: thank you, Adam, that makes me feel better

Adam: good... now, shall we get this shit over and done with? I'm really craving that garlic bread

Lucifer: I'd believe it~

They walked their way to the front of the Vatican. Adam can feel the holiness burning his very being. It was uncomfortable, not painful, and he handled way worse. He was expecting the pain to be so much worse. But as he got closer, he soon found out why. This place was just FILLED with sin. His mouth just watered at the realization. This was going to be fun~.

Devil and the Priest!au

(Feel free to change the name- it's 1am where I am, so my brain is starting to fry lol)

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

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Lucifer drove through the country side, he's been behind the wheel for nearly 5 hours. He didn't realize how much of a drive getting to this monastery. He knew it was remote but this is getting ridiculous- he should have brought snacks.

He glanced out his window every now and then to take in the scenery. He's currently driving past a large body of water, where he spotted a small island. He wishes he was over there, with no worries or expectations. With no one but himself. The Vatican has been on his ass lately about making this trip. Apparently, there was something 'dark- and 'unsettling' at this monastery. If any of the priests he knew were anything to go by, it was probably just them. He swore they refused to die, they had more wrinkles than brain cells.

Lucifer turned his radio up, some type of rock song was one, it was a big no no to be listening to music like this, it's his car. Driver picks the music, and the Vatican shuts their cake hole.

Finally, as the sun was setting, Lucifer arrived at the monastery. The large stone building loomed over him, maybe the Vatican was right, this place was unsettling. He felt like he was being watched, the multiple colours in the sky masking how decrepit this place actually is. Pulling out a brochure from his pocket, Lucifer couldn't help but smirk, they're really trying to market this place like it's a holiday retreat.

Lucifer: "Welcome to the Hazbin. Find not only sanctuary and enlightenment but also beaches and the best crab around!" ...right, definitely staying away from the crab then...

After an exhausted sign, Lucifer licked his car and picked up his bags. Making his way towards the large wooden doors, Lucifer couldn't help but dread the next two or three hours, all he wanted was to hop into bed and close the world off foe a few hours but he'd probably have to take the whole tour and- ew- meeting people.

He shuddered at the thought.

Lucifer: I wonder if I could convince them to leave the formalities till tomorrow...

Lucifer gripped a huge, iron door knocker and banged it three times. He knew this could take a while so he prepared to get comfortable- until the door was pulled open.

Priest: Hello! And welcome to the Hazbin! How can I assist you this fine evening!

Lucifer: uh- yeah- hi, my name Luicfer, I've been told to come here by the Vatican- I've been told you're expecting me...?

Priest: hm... Lucifer...

The man flicked through a small book, humming every so often. What's the point in having glasses if you still can't read a damn book.

Lucifer: look man- sir- it's been a long drive, I'd really like to just get to sleep-

Priest: ah! Yes! Here you are, Lucifer! Please, come right in! We've been expecting you for hours, your overseer said you would be here this morning- but better late than never I suppose!

The man moved aside to let Lucifer in. He really didn't like this guy, but that's not new, priest are pretty... eccentric.

The man shit the door behind him, using at least six locks to secure it.

Priest: pardon my manners, Lucifer! My name is Alastor- Father Alastor. And I'll be your superior while you're here

Ah, great. He has to answer to this... lovely man. Forcing a smile, Lucifer did what he did best: lie.

Lucifer: that's very exciting Father Alastor, look forward to working with you and getting to know this place more personally!

Alastor: oh, I could imagine! I'm sure you've heard a lot about me! I've been in charge of five other monasteries before this one! All saw a raise in volunteers and profits.

Lucifer: that's fantastic, Father. It's a real honor to be working on this project with you-

Alastor: "project", yes, that's one word to describe it.

Alastor lead Lucifer down a long hall, hebcouldbt believe how quiet it was. He was told there were at least 60-70 nuns and other workers here but it just seemed abandoned.

Thankfully, Alastor showed Lucifer to his room, it was large with a queen bed in the middle. It didn't have much furniture, just a set of draws and a desk out looking the garden. It was dead and overgrown, but the air was fresh, he'll have to start taking up writing again.

Alastor: well! Lucifer, it is a real pleasure to have you here! Tomorrow I'll show you around and I introduce you to some of the other occupants here- there are quite a few so I do expect you to introduce yourself to some of them in your own time.

Lucifer dumped his bags on his bed, and turned to face Alastor.

Lucifer: that understandable. Thank you for this Alastor, I'll see you in the morning-

Alastor: bright and early Mr Lucifer. I like to get the day started as the break of dawn

Of course he does.

Lucifer: great! I better get some sleep then

Alastor: yes, you should. Goodnight Lucifer

Finally, Lucifer was alone. Or at least he hoped. He still hasn't shaking that feeling from earlier. Except this time, he was certain nothing was watching him, Alastor seemed to be the only other living thing here. And that's giving the bastard a lot of credit. Not once did he stop smiling- Lucifer already wants to wipe that look off his face.

All Lucifer wanted to do was sleep, so he got comfortable and started to drift off.

[lizzarth1]

Dark Deception 💟