#monty python reference

[benk52]

It's just a flesh wound.

[secondary-colorentimy]

girl you know what? *starts making disney fanart but i cant take anything serious*

[calvogostoso]

Relatively old sketch I still like.

[messydoodles]

Johnny: Baraka are you okay?

Johnny: You took a real bad hit

Baraka: Just a flesh wound, Cage

[tommonottoday]

[false-justness]

executioner. should'a gone with smth like "caerbannog" killer rabbit, y'know?

"I ain't set on the name yet, just thought it'd be fun to name such a tiny bunny somethin' like it."

"That ain't too bad of a name, though."

[sanguinacomic]

Sanguina Pg 15 is here! "Get on with it. Yes get on with it! GET ON WITH IT!"

Story by @HeroGirls Art by @NeonRE86

[rhodiumcattos]

Whachu think of Mony

I've always wanted Mony. Lots of it.

[twistedtummies2]

How would your twst boys react while playing Outlast or an equivalent game? And in particular what would they think of Chris Walker?

Probably the same reaction and thoughts I have, which can be summed up thusly...

[bjfinn]

I'm convinced that our customers are all charter members of the Royal Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things.

[selfhelpradio]

danger - it's a comfy chair!

[real-evil-genius]

Ah three ladders Aiden 🤣

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

[flightyquinn]

"let us not go to tumblr, circa 2012, it is a silly place"

[moociaoafterdark]

The last post was a rhetorical question, but, glad you guys want to hear me out!

Anyway, the Imperial Palace is haunted. "Haunted".

Surely, there are no such things as ghosts, right?

Except, when the Raven Guard Astartes began to report things disappearing when you don't look at them and also seeing pale ghostly figure stalking the hallways, people began to tense up, even though some just brushed it off as them confusing a ghost for one of their own. When the Custodes began to back up the Raven Guard's claims, the Primarchs got involved.

So, the main ghost hunting squad consists of Horus, Sanguinius, Corvus and Alpharius (and Omegon, but, shh). If we assign them the "Mystery Gang" roles, then Horus is Fred, Sanguinius is Daphne, Corvus is Velma and Alpharius is either Shaggy and Omegon is Scooby, or it's the other way around. No one notices the changes anyway.

A lot of their methods include things like a ouija board (from which they learned many interesting things about the ghost, particularly how many pickles it can shove up its ass), asking the ghost questions in the dark room, taunting the ghost (and screaming like little girls when the ghost retaliates), using a radio to try to communicate with it... That kind of stuff. A lot of the times, Corvus tries to negotiate with the ghost by offering Horus a sacrifice, much to Sanguinius' annoyance. Surprisingly, Horus doesn't really mind becoming a sacrifice (he thinks he can fight the ghost off) (he can't do shit). Alpharius and Omegon are both amused, however they initially didn't take the hauntings seriously. As time went on, though, they slowly started to plan their way out of the group.

The gang then turned to Lorgar for help. Their research led them to find out that numerous religions, in the past, had ways to ward off ghosts. Perhaps Lorgar can do something? Lorgar decided that a religious sacrifice could potentially pacify the paranormal ("No, Corvus, we are not sacrificing Horus"). He ordered Alpharius and Omegon to find and bring a small animal that they could sacrifice, while Lorgar prepared the salt, the candles and the prayers. Alpharius brought a little white rabbit from the Palace's kitchen. Sanguinius was sad to see such cutie get sacrificed, he made sure to give that rabbit some pats before the ritual. When the right time came, the Primarchs, all 6 of them now, stood in the circle made out of salt, in the room that was pitch black safe for some lit candles. Lorgar read the prayers and tried to stab the rabbit in order to kill it. The dagger, instead, bent to the side, as if the animal was made out of steel. The white rabbit then became possessed and jumped onto Alpharius, trying to bite through his helmet... And almost succeeding, had Sanguinius not grabbed and tossed the vermin out from the circle. Despite being tossed by a Primarch with full force, the rabbit didn't even break a sweat, instead preparing to pounce on its next victim. Thankfully it was put down by Horus and a couple of shots from his bolter pistol that he thankfully brought with himself. The killer rabbit was dead and Lorgar felt despair. Why didn't his faith in their father stop the malicious presence? He will make that ghost pay! Feeling wronged, he joins the ghost hunting squad and helps keep the group together and to coordinate the rituals.

Magnus thinks he can crack the case himself. He gets the photo evidence of paranormal activity, however, his recording skills are subpar. The photos and videos are blurry as fuck, as if Magnus covered the lense with a thick coat of vaseline beforehand. No one believes him or takes his evidence as, well, actual evidence... Except Jaghatai. His bike has been acting weird lately. Sometimes it turns on all by itself, drives itself for a good distance, sometimes it refuses to turn on, or strange things pop out on the display. Something is messing with his bike and the Great Khan is REALLY pissed at this. And, so far, he only trusts Magnus with this, so, they become a ghost hunting duo. Through the series of unfortunate events, the two have to race away from the pissed off ghost, with Magnus clinging onto Jagh and yelling "DRIVE FASTER, I'M SCARED".

The ghost also visited the Night Haunter himself. When Konrad realized he had an intruder he looked at the ghost, who decided to appear to him as a demonic looking old woman, taller than Konrad himself. Their eyes locked together and Konrad just... smiled, his rotting teeth revealed by a wide grin. He and the Night Lords were never bothered by the ghost again after that.

When news reached Roboute of what was happening in the Imperial Palace, he just made a shocked face and went "Oh no... Anyway!" and then went back to drinking the finest of wines you could find on Ultramar, while basking under Macragge's sun. Jackass.

Ferrus and Rogal were both working on the project together and didn't even notice the ghost. At some point, the ghost became a third participant: holding a hammer or shinning a light where it was needed. When Ferrus and Rogal realized what was happening, they just... Went back to work and continued to exploit the ghost. They would never say no to free labour.

[tf2-appreciator]

How I would defeat all the tf2 mercs in combat:

Scout: Ask him about Tom Jones. While he’s talking, tie his shoelaces together. If he doesn’t have shoelaces, crowbar to the head

Soldier: Gain his trust, earn his respect, then tell him that I’m actually Canadian. Instant death

Pyro: Show them one of those baby sensory videos. Then, while they���re distracted, crowbar to the head

Demoman: Idk I think we’d be good friends

Heavy: Play dead, laying as flat on the ground as possible. When he leans forward to look down at me, crowbar to the head

Engineer: I am shorter than him. I would simply have to ask him what the weather was like up there and he would die immediately from the shock

Medic: I’m not winning this fight bro I won’t even try

Sniper: If he throws jarate at me I’ll just catch it, at that point I’ve basically won

Spy: Take a sword or other deadly melee weapon. Spin like the worlds deadliest beyblade. Try and backstab me now, dingus

[yzur02]

Jason is captured by the LoA with a shitty fake moustache as only custome, Ra's doesn't recognize him and asks him his name, thinking Jason is an assassin sent to kill him

Jason presents himself as Sussus Amongus, one the league's named soldiers

LoA Captain: Ahh, ha ha!

Ra's: Captwain, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?

Captain: Well, no, sir.

Ra's: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?

Captain: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.

Guard 1, by Ra's throne: *snickers*

Ra's: What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?

Captain: Well, it's a joke name, sir.

Ra's: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.

Guard 1: *chuckling*

Ra's: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behavior like that.

Jason: Can I go now, sir?

*slap*

Jason: Aaah! Eh.

Ra's: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.

Guard 1: *chuckling*

Ra's: Wight! Take him away!

Captain: Oh, sir, he-- he only--

Ra's: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.

Captain: Yes, sir. Come on, you. *takes Guard 1*

Guard 1: *laughing and wheezing on the way out*

Ra's: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...

Guard 2, by the other side of the throne: *snickering*

Ra's: ...Dickus?

Guard 2: *snorts*

Ra's: What about you? *stands right in front of Guard 2* Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... 'Biggus'...

Guard 3: chuckle

Ra's: ...'Dickus'?

Guard 4 and Guard 5: *chuckling*

Ra's: *approaches the guards from behind*

Ra's : He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? *the guards shake their heads* She's called... 'Incontinentia'. *snorts* 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.

Guards: *bursts out laughing*

Ra's: Stop! What is all this?

Guards: *laughing their asses off*

Ra's: I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behavior. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- *realizes Jason is halfway down the corridor while cackling lile a mad man* Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!

-Later-

Jason: *telling the story to everyone else*

Bruce: that's me

Jason: who are you?

Bruce: Biggus Dickus, that was me, I needed info on the league and Selina thought it would be hilarious if it worked

Jason: so she went around introducing herself as Incontinentia Buttocks?

Bruce: for an entire year, yes, she was very vocal in the defense of our 'traditional' names, Ra's felt 'very inspwired' and 'mowed' by our refusal to adopt 'new' names for 'the sake of our people's history'

Jason: *wheezing*