"All pickup lines are taken, can I pick you up?~
Sypnosis: Whats better then flirting with your own lover by shocking him with the most flabbergasting pickup line?
Genre: Lowkey crack, a bit suggestive?
Pairings: Dazai x reader
A/N: this was so fun especially since this was a short drabble💗💗💗guys read it again if you already read it I made slight changes
Today was probably the quietest day in the agency especially since dazai was somehow in a calm mood today. Though it's a very rare possibility of dazais shenanigans to not be on display, everyone was doing their work.
Dazai was leaning against a wall probably thinking of some suicide method in that brain of his. Only God knew what goes on in that big brain of his.
You came marching over to the office with a cheeky grin on yourself which immediately made ranpo jolt up from his seat with a shocked look on his face... Oh boy what did he deduce....
"Helloooo~ donna'! How was your da-" Before dazai could speak the whole of your arm was right beside him with your knee bend down beside his pair of daddy long legs which immediately made his eyes widen in shock.
Only silence in the agency could be heard for a few seconds before everyone's eyes switch to you pining the bandaged man to him.
"I'd love to take you to the movies but they don't let you bring your own snacks" you spit out with a grinding face which makes dazai brain a long time to process what in the rizz lord did you say.
Oh ho ho, you didn't stop there
"By the way, Dazai have we met before? Because you look like my next husband"
you winked at dazai with the most nasty eye, the type of expression which any boy would give to a girl.
Yosano was sighing with ranpo beside her giving them the nastiest eye anyone in the room could give. Atsushi was beyond flustered by your bold move, good thing kenji and kyouka went on a playda-- I mean mission.
Kunikida was simply shocked because of his no pda rule.
Dazai's senses finally came back which made him snicker. "my my, belladonna, trying to be dominating now are we, Though the thought of sliding a ring on your empty finger isn't a bad idea" He really had the audacity to tease you and grin at you while he's the one being pushed against the wall like a poster.
Your little interaction was interrupted when Kunikida came raging towards you two with a file in his hands, hitting the both of you harshly and giving you two a quick scold.
Deep inside though, dazais heartbeat really fastened though that even he couldn't code it down.
A/N: idk if I should do more well written parts....
Divider creds: @cafekitsune
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Already made 2 requests‼️ I need more than that 👀…
Requests are still available !! I need to fill in the missing spaces in this big canvas brothers and sisters 👀 I’ll be sending the finished doodles separately and sending the whole canvas if it’s filled‼️(✽ ゚д゚ ✽)
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*sees 3 new posts in the lacho tag*
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i figured out how to do animations in pixilart, and i made this kitty!! im naming it tammy
T Count: 9
Letter Count: 70
Your T Percentage: 12.86%
Average T Percentage: 10.40%
You used the letter T 1.24 times as much as average!
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What a wonderfully pretty kitty!
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