#more things i should talk to my therapist about | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tangledinink · 1 year

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and he was.

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jewishbarbies · 7 months

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parents who talk about finances in front of their kids and/or use it to shame their kids for needing basic things walk into traffic challenge

#g talks #from a very age I was made aware of my parent’s financial struggles #because they explicitly talked about it #and yelled at each other over it #whenever and wherever they wanted #and they’re still doing it to this day #that shit fucks you up #and when you’re dealing with your own money issues #that’s the last fucking thing I should be hearing about #my dad literally came to me about this #like it’s my responsibility to know or give him advice #I’m more half his fucking age #and I’m his fucking child #not his accountant OR his fucking therapist #mine #/mobile #/okay to reblog

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astriiformes · 9 months

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Ah. The scrupulosity.

#been doing generally better lately to the point that i had been starting to second-guess some of my suspicions #but over the past week i have been. hm. noticing things #currently it's a distressing guilt spiral over something that's not really my fault but still feels like it is #which is more than enough to make me miserable #oh andreas we're really in it now etc etc #i don't think my therapist knows much about moral ocd so i've been having trouble talking these things out or getting a diagnosis #but maybe. i should push a little harder

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july-19th-club · 1 year

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me age seven being sat down in front of the school’s district child psych lady and being given strange, simple spatial puzzles to solve and then long, complicated worksheets and hammering my way through them at the speed of light while having zero comprehension what their purpose was or why i was here: this is urgent! i have to get a good grade in Weird Puzzles, Or Else, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

#kjalkjsdalkjasdl mrs button was a nice lady but not one adult in my childhood ever seemed to notice what to me now seems like #a pretty obvious case of the autisms #then again maybe they just didn't look as hard unless it was *really* obvious back then . it was like. what. 2000? a couple years later #everybody was talking about autism but not when i was six or seven then it was usually just when it was Very Visible #a couple years later my cousin who's more visibly on the spectrum than me got her diagnosis so young that she's pretty much always had it #which is...well i think it's just made her life difficult in a different way. people underestimate her or don't treat her like she's her age #but then she's always had the opportunity to get accommodations and people are sometimes more forgiving when she can't do something #whereas i got labeled 'kid that should be ahead of the game' from a pretty young age and then when i struggled adults either ignored it #or it was just a huge hassle to them and even i could see it exasperated them to have to work around me #but because mrs button (nice lady but what were you thinking) hadn't told them to treat me like a kid with a developmental disorder #they didn't do that in good OR bad ways . so i never got any accommodations with school stuff i struggled with which was a fair bit #i wasn't supposed to need extra testing time in a quiet room or tutoring with math or help organizing my abysmally scattered things #the only time i DID get that was in sixth grade when i was sort-of friends with this kid jonathan who was Very On The Spectrum #he wasn't really a talker unless it was about whatever he was reading which suited me fine so we just kind of existed in each other's space #and his TSS was this very smart and nice lady who had clearly clocked that Something Was Going On With Me and even though it wasn't like #her JOB she made a little bit of time for me. mostly with emotional stuff (i think i was under the impression she was a therapist?)#but if i had some problem with being unable to keep friends or being frozen out by the kids i wanted to be liked by (happened often)#she'd be able to just like. be there she'd make the time . wish i could remember her name

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theygender · 9 months

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This has been on my mind for weeks and I talked to my therapist about it today and told my girlfriend about it too so now it's time for me to update the gay people in my phone: I may have schizotypal personality disorder

#this is like the equivalent of telling the bees to me #rambling #like ive been thinking about ever since i learned that autism shares a lot of similarities with schizophrenia and looked into that #and then learned about negative/cognitive symptoms and realized i related a lot to them #and then i learned more about schizotypal personality disorder and it was fuckin scary how much i related to it #what with the magical thinking and the severe social anxiety that doesnt go away when i get to know someone #and the ideas of reference and the eccentricity and the communication difficulties and the strange thought patterns #and then i specifically learned about avolition as a negative symptom which describes the exact thing thats ruining my life rn #and. i was scared to talk to my therapist about it bc i was worried it could be used against me somehow #but it was good to talk it out with her and get some additional perspective on whats going on in my brain #and if it means i could maybe possibly work on fixing the avolition and the social anxiety (my two biggest issues for years)#then it would be 100% worth it tbh. and its also kind of helpful to have some sort of framework to understand whats happening in my brain #funnily enough when i told my girlfriend (who was previously mis?diagnosed with schizophrenia and considering autism)#about it she related a lot too. so i guess we'll see how that goes #its. crazy how much of an overlap there is between schizospec orders and autism #i feel like i might should write up a post going into detail about different schizospec disorders to raise awareness #bc like. it is so much more than just hallucinations and delusions #in fact its not even required to have both of those for any schizospec disorder. some only require one and others dont require either #there is so much to the schizophrenic spectrum that i was unaware of and I'm sure that's probably true of other people too

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methewizard · 1 year

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Like Fleabag, Crashing is sharp and darkly funny. It’s bursting with sad and self-conscious people awkwardly grappling for a connection.

I just finished watching Crashing and yes yes yes give it to me I love that trope I love it so MUCH!!! People trying to find connection with each other and stumbling through life one awkward, messy situation at a time?? And then realising that they're all aching for the same feelings fundamentally and learning to love their life and the people around them?? Sprinkle a bit of found family on there and it's OVER for me I'm DONE IT'S ALL I NEED

#crashing #fleabag #phoebe waller bridge #i need more shows or movies like this #!!!#like #derry girls #or #big boys #I've probably seen more but I can't remember!!#I'm so bad at remembering things I've watched even if I loved them #i should talk to my therapist about that huh #show recommendations #give them to me #please!!!#crashing uk #crashing netflix

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kenobihater · 8 months

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goddamnit. am i actually having a sexuality epiphany because i'm recognizing myself in a fictional cringefail vampire man. you gotta be kidding me

#in my defense being both on the ace spectrum AND hypersexual is a bit of a confusing thing to experience #maybe i'll feel different abt it later but for rn i think that explains a LOT #for real this explains why i don't care about sex 90% of the time but when i do it's like going 0 to 100 in .2 seconds #oh my god. oh my fucking god i used to think gray asexuality was silly bc 'everyone feels that way' oh my GOD i'm a fucking idiot #head in hands bro. cannot believe i was that fucking stupid as a teenager. i was THAT CLOSE to getting it 😮‍💨#i should talk to my therapist abt this... i haven't talked to anyone abt my hypersexuality ever bc its such a stigmatized symptom but damn #i'm not gonna blame my bipolar for this or anything but damn did it make this possible answer SO much more obscured in my mind #like... damn. i feel so flabbergasted by this #i keep saying damn in the tags. dude this revelation has rendered me without the proper words to convey my emotions.........#i'm gonna be fine but rn i feel all kinds of off kilter from this realization. and i'm still doubting it even so! but it would make SO much #sense!!!!!! ugh i haven't questioned any aspect of my sexuality in earnest in years i genuinely forgot how much it sucks #like yeah there's relief maybe? but also just confusion and annoyance abt my past blindness #god. this is a huge tag ramble i think i'm gonna stop talking now #len speaks

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robinsnest2111 · 2 days

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idly wondering with what experts would diagnose me if I was 100% truthful and could remember every single thing that happened to me and every single quirk I developed because of it <3

#like esp. at the start my mother would sit in on all my therapy sessions #and i didn't yet grasp what therapy was for at age 11 so i just talked about my day #and showed the nice lady my latest drawings orz #all that got me was a 'oh that kid is just shy and a little scared going to school just force him to go it'll be fine <3'#never said anything about the nefarious bullying or the things going on at home #because at that point i was so naive i thought it was NORMAL #and other therapists later on only ever focused on my weight and how sloppy i dressed. never addressing all my other issues so i gave up #never talked about all the other stuff for a while.#also that ONE situation i can barely remember but that fucked me up the most i think back in kindergarten... never told anyone about it #except a friend last year. wondering what therapists would say about that if i ever opened up about that to them #after a bit of thought it'd also explain my aversion to being touched/examined by doctors in that area. great.#ANYWAY just wondering <333 #also all the 'negative' feelings i immediately throw in the repression bin. like jealousy frustration anger annoyance entitlement etc #been told one too many times that these things are ugly and shouldn't be displayed. should stop acting like a spoiled brat #never learned how to handle any of that <333 #recently have taken to being overly analytical about it all. trying to find what triggers these emotions and then rationalising them away <3 #they do still fester deep in my soul tho <333 #good thing i'm so good at repression that i forget about it all eventually until something makes me remember and then i suffer #but then i repress again and i can live in blissful ignorance again <333333 #wish i could be a dumb silly billy more often and not think about things too much like i usually do haha #maybe that's why i'm so drawn to and fadcinated by the bimbocore subculture/movement...... 🤔#anyway anyway just thinking haha

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fratricideknight · 2 days

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a/b/o is a hot, slash-enabling romance trope TO YOU. to me, it's dystopian body horror.

#truly the worst thing to ever exist. i'm trying so hard to be chill about it but even after all this time it still gets to me. sigh.#i'm not saying it should be banned or ppl who like it are evil or anything! i've tried to enjoy it as romance AND as horror but #it's just too disturbing. it's just pure nightmare fuel.#like it could be bearable to me (not that it matters lol) if it stayed firmly within the fanfic sphere. but it's leaking out so badly #and it's like i can't escape it lol. it's escaping the recesses of fanfic websites and (even more than it always has been) becoming #material for cis people lacking awareness of and sensitivity towards trans ppl and issues to spice up a m/m story #and that's actually maddening lol #i remember considering ranting about it to my therapist for a hot minute back in the day #but ultimately the last thing i want is to spread it further or to be made to talk about it haha #even posting about it now is making my skin crawl. but i figure that anyone on this website is already acquainted with it :}#this will probably be severely regretted and deleted eventually though #about me #mine #cw omegaverse #cw tag essay

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orcgirlcock · 8 months

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oh...

#i really wish my mom could have called me her daughter at least once before she died #but that's something she never would have done...#god i miss the mom she used to be #before she got all angry and bigoted #i remember her being so supportive of Chaz Bono #she used to be safe. she used to like queer people. she had lesbians offering to be with her and she genuinely considered it #but she changed and became more Christian and more judgemental and more angry #i told her i was trans a couple months before she died and she said 'no you arent' and then made it about her #sorry for using tumblr for sharing things i should probably talk to a therapist about #vent

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zenithpng · 17 days

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‼️‼️ tw for suicidal ideation + vent in tags

#holy fuck my life is going well why am i suicidal again #like i just. wow! i want to die!#im just overcome with this horrible depression and i have no energy for anything #i feel so cold and i cant get warm #i dont even know what to do about it because everyone i trust is so far away from me #like should i try and see my therapist again? would it help?#i just hate talking to her because i have this weird need to be polite and not bother anyone with my bullshit #shes so nice but i just. have this weird brain i guess #the worst part is that the dumbest fucking thing tipped me over today too #and i have physics homework to finish. and a math test coming up that will make or break my grade.#and i just have *no energy* for anything. like im physically active and i eat well and fucking doing everything right but for some reason i.#just cant seem to work properly.#god what is wrong with me i hate everything about this situation and myself #i just dont wanna be alive any more fucking please #like im not gonna do it but damn. if not for my partner id probably go drown myself or something right now #sorry this is so depressing and long winded im such a mess #vent #delete later

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tangledinink · 1 year

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great news! my mother has taken the time to inform me that mother's day is going to be awful this year not simply because my twin brother is dead, but furthermore because i don't love her enough to live closer to her and compensate for his absence.

#its more nuanced than that but #key takeaway points #i live halfway across the country for a REASON #please keep in mind she has a third child who lives with her #she said that she doesnt think my little sister will “even remember” mother's day #which i think is insanely unfair and also untrue #personal #vent #we just had a thirty minute conversation #about #NOTHING #i barely said five fucking words the whole time #like usual #because she doesnt give a fuck abt any of my shit #ughhhhhh #whatever #things i should talk to my therapist abt #jk me and wesley talk abt my mom like ALLL the time

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yuri-is-online · 19 days

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I only downloaded fate go for the singleminded purpose of getting the new years saber from the samurai remnant collab, which is gonna take Like a year or two to come to the en server so i have time to grind an insane amount of free crystals, but I logged in to see there's a morgan gatcha banner and my first thought was "i NEED to get this card so I can go back to the main story and tell mordred < Yeah, well I fucked your mom>"

and then I got it in like 3 11 pulls and in my head was like < "HEY MORDRED! IM GPNNA FUCK YOUR MOM!"

"YOU'RE JOCKING!"

"NO I'M NOT!! SHE CAN TURN ME INTO A PIG AFTER AND I WONT CARE! I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR MOM AND ENJOY IT CUZ SHE'S HOT!"

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!">

(Yeah yeah she's a berserker, That's exactly my type)

Good 👏 for 👏 you 👏 I said it before and I'll say it again, know what you like and make everything about it!!!! I had a similar experience with Doman, it made my ex so mad

which is why I haven't played fgo in forever since I realized I was never going to get male summer units. Dantes is getting a new card though so I am getting pspspsd at by some friends of mine though :/

I'm sending you good vibes and strong wishes for your new years rolls ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ hopefully they will help!!!

#<3 asks #fgo #i have a lot of complicated feelings about fate #it's my ex's favorite thing ever #he got my first fgo account banned #and repeatedly got into screaming matches with me over stuff in the game that made me uncomfortable #idk i feel like the writing insists on acting like you are a straight man in a lot of cases and i hate it #i actually jumped ship for genshin when the itto banner dropped because i felt more seen by that game #idk it's something i should probably talk to my therapist about

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torchickentacos · 8 months

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anyways. having fun with the album project thing I mentioned. Using the flat small brush from here for krita. One brush only, no undo button, all done on 1/54th of a 1.5k x 1k canvas. it's actually pretty therapeutic, I listen to the album I'm drawing while I draw it. This does mean that for AM I got to like. track 2 though and most of that was bc of formatting issues lol.

#vent in tags though bc i need. somewhere that isn't yet another 4:30 am vent google doc. too many of those and they're not helping #i don't want to talk but i don't want to be fully alone right now but i can't just spring this on someone in dms either so . tags it is #tw death. like really not a fun time over on torchickentacos dot tumblr dot com right now. genuine warning here #but i'm not doing well and i need this right now. anyways told my therapist i feel like i should be more okay right now than I am #and he was like. you. think you should be MORE okay after someone you knew died?#like. ah. hm. i see. now. how that might not be rational thinking.#i mean in my brain it was like. okay we're approaching day three and i haven't reached back out to my other irls #and i'm awake at 4 am #and i feel like need to pull it together because other people need me for stuff #and like. this happened before but harder. i should KNOW that there's no way to expedite this #because unfortunately I've been through this before!!! people make that choice to leave and it sucks and that's that!#like i KNOW how hard this is especially since it's a very personal topic.#but i'm still trying to rush myself here #it stresses me out to think that I'm not there enough for myself to be there for other people right now #sigh. i wonder how much of it's because i feel like i should have been there for those friends more even though it's irrational.#because that's genuinely not how it fucking works and I KNOW THAT PERSONALLY yet I still put that on myself.#people can have all the support they need and still choose to not take it. and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.#well. tomorrow i return to socializing and being a human person again #little bit at a time.

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you-will-return · 5 months

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#i just noticed that i've been suuuper inactive on this blog #for which i'm sorry #but also uni has been hell #one of my professors has decided that we should do two courses worth of reading for her seminar every week #and i've been stuck in group project planning hell for like three weeks now #i also might have put a bit too much pressure on myself when it comes to project so besides correcting the new Hot Mess chpt #i've also been working on three other projects and still need to do work for my uni classes #i really wanted to put out the new chapter this week but that has.... left the realm of possibility #i want to write so so badly but i have to finish like 30 stickers/ finish 2 other chapters/ knit 2 scarves/ hand in 3 more projects #all before christmas #i read a post yesterday that was like name one thing that you're gonna do for yourself this week #and i came up blank #eveything i'm currently doing is either for class or for other people so they're happy #don't get me wrong i enjoy writing/ drawing/ knitting but...#i don't know #Hot Mess used to be my self-indulgent project but now #the seasonal mentol illness hasn't been helping either #all my friends are miserable and all i do is either drown myself in work or be miserable too #my last short story made my bff tell me to go talk to my therapist about it #so that's how my non-fanfic efforts have been going #there's another story i need to write a date chapter for but I haven't been able to write actual romance for about a year now #idk what's wrong #maybe nothing is wrong and this is just what i'm like when i'm off my meds and i simply forgot #i've been forgetting a lot of things

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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 3 months

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I will be like “he’s just like me fr” about the most fucked up little guy and when asked how I’m like “idk actually. Maybe I should talk to my therapist about this”

#emma posts #my therapist is always so vague about this stuff though #I’ll go in like ‘woah! i just learned this thing is a symptom and have a word for it now!’#and he’s like ‘I thought you knew’ when he didn’t tell me or ‘I didn’t think you knowing the word was that important’#I very much want to know the words actually #just going like ‘we should work on that’ isn’t really much of an explanation #in general he’s a good therapist though #can’t talk about global warming without it getting weird tho #but I’ve seen the guy since I was 13 so the idea of switching is weird #this post is about being funny with myself though! so no more of that rambling #character tries to kill themself or is bullied. me: damn. just like me #they’ll be having these big problems and I’m like ‘he’s so real for this’#sure. we are supposed to find the lead characters… ya know. but maybe the just like me isn’t the best response #I know when a character has been through worse. don’t get me wrong. but I still find it relatable in what should probably be a concerning #way to relate to them #no more tag rambling though!

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