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themoomoorn · 2 years

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LA SAGA DE BAGUETTE PART UN: LA COULEUR BLEU EST BONNE

Now that I finally have a friggin large screen TV that works, let's get into this Shakespeare in the Park for V-Tubers Edition of Fire Emblem!

As per my previous post, I picked a male Alear and named him Baguette.

Emblème, Engager!

I'm sure that Timerra is fine and all, but I'm really bothered by these whacky irises her and her brother have, like...why???

Dimiclaude baby? Dimileth baby? Honestly, at least visually I can see it.

This model is gross. Also, his tome is literally named "DARKNESS"

This looks really cool, but it also brings up a recurrent issue I have with FE: The lack of costume inertia. While this is more or less a magical girl transformation Emblem-based costume switch, how cool would it be to see Baguette (Alear) wearing something like this, seeing as it's clearly him fighting in the past?

Also, the battle is direct rip from the Premonition from Awakening. While the appreciation of the prior titles does show far more subtly and nicely later on, this one...is just lazy.

Although

At this time, it's kind of funny to think about - I played Awakening in college 1 (not nursing school) when it was first released back in 2013(!!!). The game is now part of the decade old club. I now know more people, arguably, that did not get their start with Awakening but through another title, and not even necessarily through 3H either (which is something because Awakening is the title that injected new life and interest in FE as a Nintendo property). But the fact that it kickstarted utilizing premonitions and dreams as a way to get the plot running has clearly left its mark.

As the saying goes, what's old is new again.

(For the curious, I got my start with Blazing Blade, and I also played Sacred Stones, but I only jumped on the FE Hyperfixation Train/Rabbit Hole when Awakening came out.)

The Avatar slathering has an in-universe justification this time, which...actually, it kinda works. We get to see how and why Alear gets the wankery.

This also makes that pre-release interview about Alear's conception funny because they wanted to make them "relatable," which includes not making them nobility/royalty.

The solution? Make them the child of a literal and revered god, of course!

This statement is loaded and utterly moronic, because the franchise has characters like Ike (Lord character who isn't royalty) and Corrin (Avatar character who is royalty). But then again, players likely view themselves as gods of their own world which 3H has proven time and time again with its stupid discourse...

...I never want to hear anybody kavetch about Byleth being wanked over ever again.

Is it time to load up the woodchipper yet?

It is my half-displeasure(/s) to report that beneath the Rainbow Bright vomit veneer, many of Engage's characters range from solid to very good. Alear is definitely one such example, and while I still like Byleth more from a story/intrigue perspective, Alear's execution as an avatar-character is far better by virtue of letting them talk.

Heck, I'd say that if you strip away the Avatar bits, Alear would make a decent enough Lord on their own.

Anyway, this little instance of Alear opting to run and showing some fear seeing the Corrupted? It's a great touch. The poor fellow just woke up from a thousand-year nap, after all, and can barely tell his hand from his foot.

Took me a while to notice that the glowing...blue bits...that show up behind Engaged characters differ depending on either character or class. No matter who Alear is Engaged with, he will always have inverted wings, as he's a dragon. Lumera also has this trait during the one instance where she's Engaged too.

Fliers have right-side up wings, horse riders have literal motor fans propelling them, armored units have spherical shells surrounding them, the backup units (Sword/Lance/Axe Fighters) have floating knight helmet visors, and other infantry units have a trio of weapons floating behind them. Magical units don't seem to have these blue bits.

The only exception to this is Tiki's DLC bracelet, but that's because her Engage gimmick is turning the unit into a literal goddamn dragon, which is pretty hilarious.

Oh, now you default the Avatar to a female for the tutorials??? I swear to God, IntSys...

Imma firin my lazer.mp3 (cue dated internet joke)

It's this screenshot of Alear that showed me that he kinda looks like male Byleth if he were actually charming and not perpetually high/constipated.

I've picked female Avatars for my "main"/content-inspiration runs up to this point, so this is my first time picking the male (Male Shez doesn't count). Gender envy is playing a role in this one, because not only does female Alear have that kind of weird animesque baby face that I dislike, but there's something about how she's presented that doesn't jive with me. I think it's the length of her hair and the fact that you can't change it (I've given my Robins and Corrins short hair when I played as them).

This is rich, coming from me, the web's number 3 female Byleth stan, what with her H-cups and ridiculously cut armor, but I've realized I feel attracted to her as much as I want to be her. Her personality and what happens to her in her story is painfully relatable to me as well - the extreme social awkwardness and painful parallels to neurodivergence. But when she finally starts to emote a bit more, it's more visible than with the male.

Oh wait, I forgot...we're playing Fire Emblem Engage.

*cue Kill Bill Sirens in the minds of a certain group of fans*

As we see later, while humans can hear the Emblems when they speak, a dragon's invocation and touch is the only way to actually activate them. That makes sense.

The bit about it something that can only be done every millenium or so...not so much. Feels kind of arbitrary.

"Oh sweetie, I just made artificial life from nothing. You know, mid-level manager stuff."

ZIGLUDO-CHAN-SAMA-SENPAI

Oh look Alear was bad(tm) in the past, Lumera made them good, whooo

They even used the type of fire sound effect you'd probably find on videohive during the cutscene transition.

WhyTheFuckYouLying.mp4

To be honest, I'm not sure whether or not this execution of The Ritual Sacrifice of the Emblem Mother(tm) was done well or not, because this is another "celebration (?)" of prior FE Events: Much like how the Premonition scene is lifted from Awakening, this one is a riff of Mikoto's death in Fates.

On one hand...this death was literally advertised in the trailers. We all saw it coming. The scene, as melodramatic as it is, is very well acted in English (I'm sure it's similarly well done in JP, seeing that legendary seiyuu Kotono Mitsuishi voices Lumera). And unlike Mikoto and Corrin's jump from "Corrin being kinda distrustful to Corrin wanting to raze Nohrians to hell in a heartbeat," Lumera and Alear's relationship doesn't quite make the same jump. The whole Shirasagi Throne of Truth(tm) also isn't really a thing here, Lumera's just banking on Alear eventually remembering in due time.

This death also more or less kickstarts the plot, and said plot is picture book-levels of clear: Get the rings, perform the invocations, and kill the Fell Dragon, because if you don't, the world below's gonna drown in a puddle of Corrupted Goo. Boom. Done.

On the other hand, this divine being being done in by wimpy purple lightning comes off worse compared to the humanoid Mikoto shielding Corrin from an explosion and being stabbed by shrapnel in the process. Ouch. The scene also drags on a bit long to the point that it's almost funny.

Also, check out these cape physics!

And thus ends PART UN of Fire Emblem Engage. Next time, we begin our journey in collecting the Rings of Power from the Rhinemaidens on the doughnut-shaped continent of Lythos. First Stop: NetherFrance - er, Firene.

#fire emblem engage #fe disengage #alear fire emblem #thread #moomoorn plays viddie games

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grimgrinningghoul · 2 years

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Hm! Vlad, Maddie and Jack for the character opinion meme?

All 3 of these characters were wasted in my eyes. Poor Jack was forced to just be a moron 90% of the time, which. Come on. Let him be smart He's simultaneously deeper than he seems while also being about as deep as a kiddy pool. Like the depth comes from his history with Vlad and Maddie, along with how intensely into his job he is and how. Y'know. He indirectly sorta kinda killed his son??? But that's not really looked at much so he's just the oafish comic relief to the parents' antagonistic duo. That said, I love Jack and Maddie's dynamic immensely, they got great chemistry

Maddie's not really all that different? She was certainly better off than Jack, but she still wasn't a DEEP character, y'know? She was just Mom.

I will explain that half colored ones real quick: I think they were decent parents in the context of the show. Yeah they were antagonists, but they were also used for comedy, so I don't think it's fair to take their exaggerated behavior as the end all-be all. They did horrible things, but I don't think they deserve to be called horrible people. This applies to both parents, but Maddie especially. She's downright vile in a lotta fanworks lol. I like angst but I do think it takes away from her original charm at times

I did not realize that I’d fill these out so similarly lmao but hey V-Man almost won Bingo

Vlad’s great. He also sucks. He’s got the most tangible origin and motive of Danny’s villains, but he falls flat for me due to a case of Premise vs Presentation. He sounds like he’d be a gratifying villain on paper, but he’s just a pathetic rich dude who can’t figure out how to win against a teenager. Funny, yes, but he doesn’t get the high points he’s set up to have. And why does his ghost form look like that

Also Ik most people like redeeming him eventually, but I just think he’s better when he’s Bad, and he gets like. The opposite of a redemption arc. I want him to get Worse

#DP #Jack Fenton #Maddie Fenton #Vlad Masters #I guess it's fitting that they all got similar charts #Vlad ALMOST got the arc I would've loved to see for him ala Kindered Spirits #But I get why it may have been considered too dark for the show's overall tone #Still sucks that his characterization there was thrown to the wayside :/

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kixa · 4 years

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Future Kids…

@popbubblegumpop : Ok so you know how I’m a moron sexual so can I get Kaminari, Sero and Kirishima meeting their future children with a black reader and ik you like Sero so😏

W/ Kirishima, Sero, and Kaminari

Warnings: fluff, cursing

Word count: 3.2k

A/n: Thank you, Cass! I think these are the cutest I hope this is to your liking ;) and yes…you are a moron-sexual goof but it’s cool…

These are going to be in three parts because I type too much😞and this is so cheesy Sero is next

Kaminari

It finally hit 12 am, ‘damn 12 already’ you thought as you looked at your phone. You had been studying for hours, occasionally rereading a paragraph or two because you didn’t understand it for the 5th time. Closing the textbooks you got up and started settling down for bed. After slipping on your oversized tee your phone lit up with a message. It was from Kaminari, asking if you were still up. You replied with yes, wondering what he wanted (you low-key wanted to cuddle with him). He replied not even a second later saying he wanted you to come over to his room. A soft but tired smile graced your face as you looked down your screen. You knew that it was against the rules but it was past curfew and who was checking the halls? Aizawa? Nah babe mans is out for the night.

Kaminari shifted in impatience, biting his lip slightly as he looked at his message just being left on ‘read’. He felt a little defeated now fully realizing the lack of warmth in his bed. Looking up at the complete darkness, he blew the strands of hair out of his face with a frustrated huff. So when he heard the soft patterned knocks that you guys shared as a ’secret password’ his face immediately lit up. He sprung off of his bed to reach the door in excitement (most definitely tripping and running into things). Your tired figure stood outside the door waiting for Kaminari to open it, listening in on the current commotion he was making trying to get to the door. Soon your attention was strayed from the excited boy on the other side of the door; there was soft shuffling from the end of the hall. You tried squinting to get a better look at the figure even pulling out your phone flashlight, but since it was too far the light didn’t really help. As soon as you started walking towards the ‘thing’ it scurried off with pattering feet and giggles.

“What the he-“, you said under your breath before a hand wrapped around your arm and yanked you into the room. Before you could fully comprehend what had happened you were face to face with Kaminari’s bright smile and golden locks (with the black streak ofc). He had his LED lights set to purple which contrasted his features nicely (mans was looking FOINE🤤). You were pulled tightly into a hug which nearly suffocated you, it was like your boyfriend hadn’t seen you all day.

“Babeee…I missed you so much. Why did you leave me on read?”, he murmured into your hair, while loosening the hug to a gentler embrace but still secure.

“I wanted to “surprise” you, make you think I didn’t want to come over. But hey did you see that thing in-“, you replied with a light chuckle but once again interrupted.

“Not funny…,” he pouted. He then started to sniff your hair, bringing your curls closer to his face. “Hey did you use that detangler that I got you?” he asked, sniffing your hair.

You giggled, “You’re such a weirdo, Denki, and yes I used it, I’m surprised you didn’t notice this morning. Now can we move this conversation to your bed, I’m tired.” You pulled off of him to trudge to his bed and flop down. Following closely after you the bright boy settled down on the bed too, wrapping you up in his arms. You snuggled deeper into his chest feeling the familiar warmth of his body; putting the weird sighting of that figure towards the back of your mind. Slowly closing your eyes you prepare yourself for a deep slumber, but apparently to Denki, it was time for 21 questions.

“Y/n, what do you think about babies?” he questioned looking up at the ceiling. You shook your head at how weird that question was. Looking up at him with lazy eyes you scanned his face for any type of emotion but he was just blankly staring upwards. He was serious and expecting an answer.

“I-I guess I wouldn’t mind, I mean if they were with you of course. Definitely later down the road though,” you yawned. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you began playing with his hair to lull yourself back to sleep. It was silent for about a minute but it was cut short by another slew of words coming from Denki’s mouth.

“I mean of course not now I don’t think either of us are ready…..What do you think they’ll look like?” he turned to his side facing you. You opened your eyes after noticing his shift on the bed and then saw that he was gazing at your face. A heat erupted in your face, your hands quickly snapped to hide yourself. Kaminari let out a breathy chuckle grabbing your hands to pull them away from your face, giving you a goofy grin once you could see him.

“Well they’ll be one good-looking kid ‘cause you’re smokin’ and so am I (cringe I’m so sorry),” he exclaimed proudly. As you rolled your eyes in amusement, you started to bring his face closer to yours.

“ArE wE aBoUt To KiSs RiGhT nOw?,” Kaminari asked in a mocking voice, breaking the moment. You let go of his face and push him off the bed playfully. He looked up with an offended look at your actions but was soon changed into a smirk. Your laughter immediately died down and you caught on to what was about to happen. You backed into the corner of the bed as Kaminari crawled on the bed like a cheetah about to pounce. Right when he was about to “attack”, you both hear a light rapping at the door.

Both of you immediately froze, you were clutching at the blanket while Kaminari was paused in mid crawl. Kaminari looked at you with his eyes furrowed in inquiry; you stared at him with the same look like ‘who the hell is knocking at the door past midnight, wtf’.

“Denki….who is that?” you asked a little on edge. You checked your phone at the time and it was 1:30 am (had you looking at the door like 👁👄👁).

“I don’t know…you bring somebody with you?” he asked. ‘This mf really thinks I brought somebody over like we were about to have a party on a school night…at 1 in the morning,’ you thought as you shook your head.

You guys heard the little knock again, now panicking at who was behind the door at this hour. Everyone was either dead asleep or too fucking lazy to get up out of their bed to come see what y’all were doing. Both pairs of eyes darted back and forth between the door and each other.

“Kami, go get the door,” you said in a whisper, almost trying to not be heard by whatever was behind the door. He jumped in shock, looking around the room as if trying to spot someone, then turned to face back to you and pointed to himself, mouthing ‘me?’.

“Yes you, now go,” you said as you tried to push him off the bed towards the door, but he stuck to you like a sloth on a tree claiming he was too scared to go open the door. When you offered that you both go and open the door together, he nodded furiously (such a big baby). The air felt a little too eerie and tight to breathe in. Y’all are definitely the type to believe in ghosts and supernatural junk so yeah, scared shitless. You crept closer to the door as Kaminari was literally hanging off of you occasionally stepping on your heels. Whatever was behind the door began huffing and pacing a little, then it spoke.

“Open the door pweese.”, said the voice sounding a little frustrated. The voice was small and childlike, maybe a kid? Both of you jolted back in surprise to hear such a small and high pitched voice, it had to be a kid. You quickly opened the door to see nothing, but as you lowered your eyes you saw a small brown-skinned girl, with golden amber eyes similar to the boy right behind you, along with curls pulled into two puffs on her head kind of how you used to wear your hair. ‘Huh? weird’ you thought. Kaminari peeked over your shoulder to also get a look at the small child, the same questioning look that you had, appeared on his face.

Before either of you guys could begin talking the little girl ran into your legs, “Mamaaa!” Your eyes had never been wider. Who?…Me?…’Mama’?…Waaiiit a minute. She continued to snuggle her face in your legs while you snapped your eyes he’d to look at your boyfriend who was already looking at you in disbelief.

“Dis yo kid? When’d you have a kid? You been messin’ somebody else y/n?” Kaminari interrogated whispering. You softly gasp at his thought of you cheating, “No! I don’t know who’s child this is but I ain’t had no kids Denki.” The little girl left your legs then looked at Kaminari and stared at him for a while then sprung into his legs, just like she did yours.

“Daddy!,” she cried in joy. Once again you and Kaminari were highly baffled at what was happening. You both went back and forth whispering questions in a frenzy. After a couple of minutes of mutual confusion and inquiry, you concluded that she might be lost.

You finally crouched down to the girl’s level to start talking to her. Leaning over close to her face you spoke gently, “Hi, I’m y/n, what’s your name?,” “…Nikko…mommy you don’t remember my name?,” she questioned, now her demeanor changing to sad and confused. You were once again speechless and frantic to help this little girl who had to be lost.

“Are you lost? How’d you get here?”

“Ummm…I was with you, Mommy and Daddy, and thennn this person used their quirk on us and I ended up here….I don’t know where I’m at but I thought I saw you earlier so I followed you here.” Nikko explained, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. You looked at Kaminari once again with a puzzled look. He kept staring at Nikko dumbfounded, with a goofy, in disbelief smile.

She went up to you and held your face, “Mommy you look so different and so does Daddy, you guys look younger.”

Kaminari hummed in response and pulled you away from Nikko to talk to you, “Okay I think I know what happened. It’s going to sound very weird but hear me out. Okay, Nikko? That’s our actual child but like in the future and she got hit with a quirk that traveled her back in time,” You stared at him like he had said the wackest bs you’ve ever heard, but before you could open your mouth to counter him he already started on his reasoning.

“Y/n think about it…like really think about it. If I’m going to be dead serious she looks like a mini you…minus the eye color,” he explained. You turned to look at the girl who was now admiring the room a little. Paying close attention to her features you noticed a few things, her hair was very similar to yours when you were younger (in two little puffs) and the same eyes and goofy smile you had seen in Kaminari’s baby pictures. Maybe he was onto something.

“Okay okay I get what you’re saying and I kind of agree with you, but if what you’re saying is true what do we do now? How does she get back?” you asked. He shrugged with his derpy self saying that we could figure it out in the morning. You sighed as you both turned to face the little girl again. You guys welcomed her fully into the room and gave some background info about yourselves but to Nikko, she had already heard this stuff but she stayed quiet wanting to listen anyway. She told you guys stories as if you were her parents right then and there, not acknowledging that she hasn’t been born yet. She displayed qualities from both of you, physically and mentally. You guys just stared at her in amusement at how this could happen and how you both had a child together in the future. How ironic was Kaminari’s question now?

“And then Daddy went ‘It’s lights out for you sucker’ or was it ‘I’ll zap you to pieces’?… I don’t remember but it was soooo cool. Ooh ooh and when mama fights bad guys she looks so awesome, her costume so cool. Man, I wanna be like you guys when I grow up,” Nikko looked at you two starry-eyed, you could’ve sworn you saw a twinkle in her eye.

“Y/n, we’re so cool in the future and we’re together too score!”

“Yeah, we are,” you two fist-bumped each other in triumph. Nikko giggled.

“You’re a dope kid, Nikko,” Kaminari said lazily.

~~~

As the hours crept closer and closer to when you guys had to be awake for school, Nikko had stopped talking and was now sitting in Kaminari’s lap taking his hand in hers and tracing over his palm with her tiny fingers. She yawned notifying that she was getting sleepy and was way past her bedtime. What do you know, the golden-haired boy was right along with her letting out a yawn also. Kaminari's eyes looked very heavy as they blinked at a snail’s pace. He looked down at the small bundle of cuteness curled up in his lap and softly beamed. Then he looked at you with the same expression, looking adorable despite the bags under his eyes.

“She looks ssooo much lllike youu” he slurred signaling he also needed to sleep.

“And she talks just like you sleepyhead, now go to sleep” You ruffled his hair and let out a silent chuckle. He sleepy moved his head against the wall and directed his eyes to the ceiling, letting out a hum in content as he fluttered his eyes closed. It was silent except for the soft snore of Nikko and the soon to be loud snore of Kaminari (he is an obnoxious sleeper don’t @ me). You let the heaviness of your head move you against the wall. Drifting into a deep slumber you let your thoughts carry you off into dreamland. ‘This is crazy, how did this even happen? Denki and I have a child? A future with Denki, I hope we do stay together long enough for that, Denkiii~’ your thoughts that had brought you to a deep sleep. What a very awkward and peculiar night. Meeting your daughter from the future, no way too freaky.

~~~

You groaned as the alarm clock sounded letting you know it was time to wake up. You rubbed your eyes to relieve some of the sleepiness (ok rn you’re feeling that go-to-sleep-at-3-and-wake-up-at-5 type tired). Kaminari has an alarm set to wake you guys up (mainly just you) if you sleepover so you have enough time to get back to your room without getting caught. Groggy from the lack of sleep you try to make it over to the alarm to silence it but keep stumbling on your way. After it was turned off you felt something grab you thigh and pull you back. The yellow-eyed boy had grabbed a hold of you and guided you to his lap.

“*yawn* Sunshineee do you have to gooo?” He grumbled softly with his morning voice, into your neck. The voice helping you doze off, but you jolted back up after remembering your answer in your head, “yes I have to go”. Ignoring you, he started to leave little pecks along your neck which soothed you back to sleep. He continued until he noticed a lack of noise, he paused and looked around the room in inquiry. His pausing woke you up, you craned your head to focus on him.

“Where’s Nikko?” He asked, squinting to get adjusted to the incoming light. You scanned to the room for any signs of the little girl, but there was nothing. ‘Hold on where’d she go’ you thought.

“She disappeared~” He gasped sarcastically covering his mouth before breaking into laughter. His laughing was cut short by a string of curses coming from the common area (Bakugou deadass is that loud though) followed by cooing,

someone trying to calm down the angry pomeranian, and the sound of a child yelling.

“Well, I guess we know where she went,” You rolled your eyes leaving Kaminari alone in his bedroom. He chased after you and saw this scene: you were laughing, the girls were smiling softly at Nikko, Kirishima was trying to calm down Bakugou, and Bakugou was cursing while running away from Nikko who was mad and yelling “Uncle Bakugou! Come back! You always play with me!”

“Hell no! I am not your uncle, Brat!” Nikko huffed and ran faster, trying to catch him. Kirishima was out of breath trying to catch the both of them.

“(Y/N), do you know who this kid is? She woke up Bakugou and then he woke up most of us,” He panted before finally catching his breath.

“Supposedly ours,” Kaminari yawned, taking a seat on the couch next to you. His eyes slowly followed Nikko before leaning over the couch and grabbing her right before she caught Bakugou.

“Daddy! I-“ “Is this your brat Dunce Face? She’s been chasing me for the last hour!” Bakugou then went on a rant about Nikko. Now she sat there just watching Bakugou before interrupting,

“You’re so mean! You’re not this mean to me and Katsumi! Sometimes you are to Uncle Kiri’s and Uncle Sero’s kids, but not to me and Katsumi! You always-“ She continues on about how Bakugou acts in the future…. well until she gets out of breath.

“Okay sweetie, I think we understand how Bakugou acts in the future.” Nikko nodded and sat down glaring at him. Soon after that everyone started to get ready for school (I mean it’s like 6 by this point but let’s be for real now - they gotta cook breakfast, eat, maybe take a shower, do face + hair, and get dressed so that’d work? right?). After you and Kaminari got dressed you were faced with the problem of what you were going to put Nikko in.

“Don’t worry! You guys said I would be home soon right?” You guys nodded and shrugged figuring that you’ll buy clothes if she ends up staying longer (and also because the girls wanted to shop for her).

On the way to school, Nikko sped between people talking to them and continued even into the classroom (you guys had to grab her before she even made her way to M*neta).

Nikko was sitting on Denki’s desk as everyone surrounded her, chatting her up, then Aizawa (Da Daё) walked in and all heads turned to him.

“Why are you not in your seats?” Everyone rushes to their seats as you and Denki were starting to give an explanation.

“We’re sorry Mr. Aizawa, it’s just that our daughter from the future came and-“ “What daughter? I don’t see a child?” He looked at you like you grew two more heads.

“Huh? She’s-“ Denki pulled your sleeve and pointed to his desk, “She’s gone? Aw man, she was sooo cute!”

“.... Well if you’re done, I’d like to start today’s class.”

this is my first time writing a whole oneshot ik it’s long😗👉👈

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apollo-writes-random-shit · 4 years

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“Damn, damn, damn, double damn!”

Fun fact: This was originally going to be angsty but I decided to save that idea for later. So have some worried Jack who’s stressing about a ‘first date’ with Davey.

I added one of my favourite ideas about a reincarnation au for like a paragraph lol.

Oh yeah before I forget. #LetCrutchieSayFuck

Crutchie grinned as he watched Jack toss around clothes.

"Damn, damn, daMN, DOUBLE DAMN IT!"

He chuckled, watching his brother rush around. "Someone's nervous."

Jack jumped, spinning around, clutching a shirt in his hand, pants in the other. "No shit I'm nervous! I've actually got a date with David!"

"David? Damn you really are nervous." He laughed, shaking his head before entering the room. Despite his teasing, he was willing to help out his older brother considering the other looked five seconds away from breaking down. "Alright...I'll help you pick out ya clothes. Just relax okay? You'll do fine you moron."

"I don't want to stuff up! What if I do something stupid and scare him off?"

"Jack...He's dealt with your bullshit this long and it just so happens he's taking you on a date so fucking chill." Mockingly, he pat his cheek. "I see you need my help. So where are you two even going?"

"The library..."

"Heh, a nerdy date huh?" Crutchie paused as he looked between pants. "Hang on...This is a date right? Not just studying or working on a project?"

"Umm.."

"Jackson Kelly-Larkin you fucking moron. You're stressing over going to the library to study and you're acting like it's a date?"

"H-Hey! Normally, it's a group thing and he invited me and me alone! He was blushing when he asked Charlie!"

"What if he was worried about coming off strange?" Crutchie smirked, knowing full well that Davey had asked his brother on a date. Hell, the other had been texting him, freaking out about the fact that Jack had agreed. "Look. Just act normal you moron. You'll do fine. So take deep breaths. Everything will be fine. I promise."

"But-"

"No buts Jack! Everything will be perfectly okay so just chill out." He slapped him over the back of the head before going back to sorting through the massive pile of clothes, putting the paint-stained ones aside. "Right. Go grab your shoes."

"Which ones?"

"Just grab whatever ones you feel like wearing. As long as it's not covered in paint considering you get that everywhere."

Without protesting, Jack left to grab his shoes, knowing better than to argue with the blond.

As he waited, Crutchie scrolled through his phone, chuckling at the latest message.

Davey's freaking out. How's your moron doing?

Being a fucking moron and throwing clothes around. I sent him to grab his shoes so I can help better.

Davey legit pulled out a formal top earlier. They're just going to the damn library, not some fucking restaurant.

What, like you and Kath?

Oh, fuck off Charlie.

Whatever you say, Sarah.

"Who ya texting?"

"Hmm? Oh, just saw Race did something stupid over in Brooklyn."

"Again? How the fuck does Spot put up with him?"

"Who knows." With a grin, he tucked his phone away before he went back to matching pants to shirts, glad to see that Jack at least was calming down. He had honestly never seen him so nervous for a date and that just confirmed in his mind that Davey was special to Jack. That and he had been putting up with Jack annoying him for a while and somehow hadn't lost his mind.

"What do I do Crutch? He's fucking amazing and I don't want to stuff this up...He's different from everyone else and I mean it this time. I'm actually scared...I don't wanna scare him away but freaking him out..."

"For once, shut up. You won't scare him off. After you two are done at the library, see if he wants to grab a coffee or some shit. Just act normal for god's sake."

"Don't use the lord's name in vain you gremlin!"

"Since when were you the good religious boy of the family? That's meant to be Race."

"Please. That asshole isn't anywhere near being a good Christan boy." Jack snorted, shaking his head as he remembered each time Race didn't follow the bible. He knew that didn't make him any less Christan though. He just enjoyed teasing him but always made sure not to push too far, seeing how it was one of his fondest memories involving his birth parents. "It's like he looked at the bible and said Fuck you. I'm gonna do everything you tell me not to. 'm surprised that cross o' his hasn't burst into flames."

The two looked up at the sound of giggling, shaking their heads at the sight of their younger twin brothers, staring in.

"Jackie's got a date!"

"Jack's wants to kiss Davey!"

"He's gonna get cooties!"

"Yeah and he'll give them to you two if you don't leave!" Crutchie waved his hands towards them, watching as Mike and Ike just giggled and rushed off to do gods knows what.

Jack sighed as they left, shaking his head with a soft smile. "They'se dorks." He couldn't help but wonder how long the two had been watching him worry about what to wear.

"Yeah, and they get that from you and Race. Out of the three of us, I'm the most mature one. Once again, the middle child is the best child."

"Aw shut up." He tossed a pillow at Crutchie, grinning as the other boy laughed and leaned to the side to dodge it.

"You love me. Now put these on." He tossed a shirt and pants at Jack before leaving the room. Jack shook his head, getting changed while listening to the familiar light sound of his brother's crutches tapping the floor as he went to go check on their twin brothers in hopes they weren't making a mess.

Quickly getting changed, he nodded to himself, inspecting every small inch. Once again, Crutchie had pulled through and found an outfit that worked for a date yet seemed causal enough that no one would suspect he had been panicking. Sure, there were some small dots of paint on his jeans but it was basically his brand at this point so it wasn't really a surprise. Taking a few minutes to debate with himself, he quickly scooped up his cap, smiling softly as he looked at it. While some people looked through thrift shops and found caps like his, Jack's had actually been passed down through the years, each owner leaving a small mark. One of them was a carefully stitched name of Jack Kelly. He didn't really know much about that Jack considering they lived hundreds of years apart but he still felt a connection with him.

All he really knew was what had been printed in the papers. He chuckled softly, putting it on. Specs liked to speak of reincarnation, saying he had felt a natural connection to them all and the picture of the newsies on strike just solidified that thought considering all their names were listed in on the front page. Jack couldn't lie...He felt a connection to them all as well but he didn't want to say it out loud for the fear of sounding cheesy, though he suspected some of them knew.

"Thinkin' bout the past are we?"

Jack blinked, looking over at the reappearance of his brother. "Eh, not really. Just wondering if it goes with the outfit...Like a good luck charm you know?"

"Mmmm sure." Grinning, Crutchie shook his head. "I thought you'd want to wear it so I made sure it matches."

"You know me too well Charlie..."

"I also know if you keep staring at yourself in the mirror and freaking yourself out, you'll be late so you better hurry up."

Panicking, Jack checked his phone before swearing. "Fuck you're right. You're fine with watching the kids right?"

"Jack, it's going to be fine. Unlike you, the twins and Smalls actually listen to me most of the time. So, don't worry about us okay? Just go have fun. Everything will be fine."

Brushing off the teasing insult, Jack rushed off after giving his brother a quick hug, shouting a goodbye over his shoulder, only to bolt back inside to grab his car keys, quickly running back outside, ignoring Crutchie's laughter.

Taking deep breaths, he drove himself to the library, doing his best to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. "It's no big deal...We're just studying and I'll see if he wants coffee or something later. It's just studying...That's it...Sweet Jesus give me strength."

Time passed by too quickly and he soon found himself parked next to a familiar car. Adjusting his cap, he slipped out of his car, heading inside, praying to everything out there that he'd get a boyfriend by the end of the day.

#newsies #jack kelly #crutchie newsies #crutchie #charlie morris #davey jacobs #javid #apollo's shitty writing #friend request #prettyinlimegreenboots

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foryouthegays · 4 years

Text

its time for a ‘assembling an army [Dream SMP]’ liveblog pogggg

bc people seem to like techno saying “puppy!” heres the timestamps for the times he says it in this stream and a few i remember from other times

10:30

12:35

2 mins into ‘minecraft VR is the ultimate fitness program’

and he doesnt say puppy but ‘train ‘em young (Collab with GURL GAMER ERMAGERD)’ is just. its so cute. please watch it. its techno playin and his little sister is in the background and i love it nd he says ‘pony’ nstead of horse so that counts. also his nod at 2:27 after his sister says ‘thats u!!’ is so cute like ahhhHHH and at 3:25 his sister says doggy and it sounds so similar to how techno says it in the vr vid ahhhhhhHHH sorry i just love that vid so much u can hear techno in the bg its so good

ALSO HE DID A ‘DO DO DOOO’ AT 15:20 :D!!!!!!!AND 1:07:45

if yall dont watch vods, he starts his stream with ‘starting the streaamm!!!!’ and its adorable. i highly recommend watchin the start of his streams just for that

as always, he says three in the prettiest way possible and i hate it. how can you make the word THREE sound nice its. its not allowed

hes calling the wither skull place (which i had been calling theseus’ vault/home) the bunker and i kinda like that. (1:15)

“worst case scenario, he’s building an ugly tower outside of my base, best case scenario, he died!” 2:50

heres the link tommy sends at 7:10 https://www.reddit.com/r/tommyinnit/comments/kfdsid/i_know_tommy_likes_cobblestone_towers_so_heres_an/?sort=new

7:50

tommy: “what are your deepest emotions”

techno: “uhhh....revenge.”

tommy: -laughs- “what about like, you know, love.

techno: “not so much.”

tommy: -laughs- “hey, ok”

techno: “love? sounds kinda cringe,”

tommy: -laughs harder- “love?? all i know is anarchy!”

techno: “all i know is anarchy, violence, and get subscriber, ok? thats all you need.”

aroace c!techno pog??

the “i know another word for dog” “puppy!!!” convo is at 10:30 btw. techno is just. am love he

“you’re trying to think of one redeeming quality you have and you’re stuttering. you’re stuttering, tommy.” LSFJDLKDSJF 14:30

techno making fun of tommy falling through snow and then immediately doing the exact same thing is so funny a;sdkfjkasd 15:25

17:10 ah yes, a sheep, the opposite of a dog, mhmm

19:25 “tommy i dont believe in laws” LKSFJHDLA

“i need you i need you i need you” “i’m right here.” AWWWW 20:25

DREAM JOINED OH GOD 21:00

i feel like techno is just,,,,constantly redirecting the convo back to dogs to try nd distract tommy

OH GOD DREAM NO 28:00 GO AWAY

hhghn the way that techno asked tommy to describe his location,,,,,,isnt that LITERALLY grounding??? ik it was so tech could find him but just,,,tommy immediately started talking clearer and responding better to techno,,,,,hhgnn

AWW TECHNO CALLED IT ‘OUR HOUSE’ AT 29:25

why is technos laptop just randomly telling him abt pagodas im ksfhjdal 30:20

30:50 techno has access to twitch in universe

31:40 tECHNOS ‘Y O U’ IS SO FUNNY SFHGDJKAL

32:05 dream no. ‘hey I’m on my way to your house, need to have a chat with you’ GO AWAY

WHY DOES HE HAVE A SECRET CHEST WHY IS HE LIKE THIS WHY IS HE SO SECRETIVE AHHHH 36:05

37:55 as much as i hate c! dream i just. i love dream nd technos dynamic so much but i know dreams gonna be in character and it makes me sad bc nooo dont be mean :(

38:50 “tommy....left” “who?” GFJHSKDL TECHNO IM IHUGFJSKDLA

wait but techno couldve made skyblock canon in the smp universe if explained the sell foot as the ‘pigs foot’ from slaying dragons in skyblock and saying that they made people faster but nooOOOOooOOooooOOoooOOOoo gkfjshdl 39:45

techno just spelled coughing ‘caughing’ and idiot ‘idfiot’ im,,,,,hfdgkjs 40:50

TECHNO WHEN WE SAY U USE BIG WORDS WE DONT MEAN ‘ALOOF’ WE MEAN SHIT LIKE ‘RECIPROCITY’ HFGJDKSL 41:00 i doNT EVEN KNOW IF THATS THE WORD HE SAID IM SO DONE WITH HIM AHH

“what does impaired mean?” so THATS who technos talkin bout not knowin english 52:30 (bonus: “it means its out of pair, tommy”)

52:50 my god these people are so dumb im crying could u imagine just casually walking ur dog and u just hear yelling in the distance and u look up to see two sets of enchanted netherite, one with a dog and one with a llama who seems to be spitting at the owner, yelling at each other about staying stealthy and ur like ‘this may as well happen’ and one of them jUMPS OFF A BRIDGE and the other just yeets the llama down before jumping off as well and u see the dog walk up to u and u can kinda see an outline of someone and ur like whatever and then the other person walks by holding bamboo and no armor on with the llama still spitting and then one of them starts yelling at the other and ur like iS THAT TOMMY??? I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD??? and u realize the other is techno and ur like,,,,god why did i move to this cursed country and then the llama starts talking and spitting at u just. and u just. u leave. u just gotta leave.

and then now ur ranboo, going to figure out whats happening and theres a llama that starts spitting at u and ur like ????? and u see some dogs and u turn around and then theyre gone and then tommy (who, once again, is thought to be dead) texts you and says u should join vc3 and then the llama starts talking and telling u to give up all ur things and then u DIE sjkdfal;

anD THEN THE LLAMA DIES ALSDKJFALDKFA I LOVE THIS SERVER ITS SO DUMB

GKJHSFDL I LOVE RANBOO SO MUCH

god these people have no braincells when theyre together its so funny

1:10:20 sCHLATT????? WHA T

🦀TOMMY IS GONE 🦀 1:15:00 (also: “he died as he lived, an absolute moron” JFKSDL TECHNO)

SJKHFDAL RANBOO JOINED THE GAME JUST TO SAY ‘THAT BETTER BE CANON TOMMY’ AND THEN JUST L E F T (1:18:45)

SFDGHJKAL TOMMYS MAD BC HE HAD 18 LEVELS AND DIED AND TECHNOS JUST C A S U A L L Y AT 100 DFSJHKLA I LOVE THEM

“ew, imagine using valid arguments to refute my idiotic points” god i love techno so much (1:19:50)

#stream post

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years

Text

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

#annotations #ysijwa

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hachichimitsu2 · 5 years

Text

A Comprehensive List of Stan and Kyle Moments (I UPD8 AS I GO)

Hello. Yes, you heard me. Here are all the scenes that legit scream out “STYLE” in South Park, whether these scenes are too far of a reach or not. I mostly compiled this out of my very own convenience, and hopefully this’ll help you a whole lot too. This is extremely text heavy, so I’ll put this under “Read More”. I haven’t played any of the games, so I won’t be including it here at this time, so if you guys know any good moments from the games, please let me know and I’ll add it to the list.

Cherokee Hair Tampons:

- The entire goshdarn episode.

- Stan being concerned and distraught over a dying Kyle breaks my heart. He was even bawling next to Kenny.

- Stan willing to donate his kidney to Kyle, even if it’d hurt a lot.

- Stan knowing that Kyle ate a bean and bacon soup half an hour ago shows that he’s been by Kyle’s side for quite some time now.

- Stan holding onto Kyle while they were at Cartman’s house.

- “Dude, you’re my best friend. I don’t want you to die before I do...”

Super Best Friends:

- Yeah, um, this episode...is gay.

- Stan and Kyle entering the episode with ice cream cones while Butters and Cartman wondering where they got them from. It’s assumed Stan and Kyle were hanging out with each other off-screen.

- I think Kyle being convinced that he’s not “really happy” through brainwashing is parallel to Stan being convinced that he’s “depressed” by the Church of Scientology.

- Stan trying to help Kyle escape with him, not even mentioning this plan to Kenny, Cartman or even Butters.

- Stan and Kyle looking at each other with longing looks while dramatic music plays in the background. Ah yes. I am...not even joking...this legit happened.

- How to Find Your Boyfriend 101: “OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!!” “Y-you bastards...”

- Stan pleading Kyle not to kill himself and to hold his breath while being there for him.

- The ending where they call each other Super Best Friends and both proceed to beat up Cartman when he teased that they should make out.

Cartmanland:

- Stan comforting a distraught Kyle.

- @belovedhomosexuals mentioned that canonically, Stan helps Kyle with his hemorrhoid cream, and IM-

- Stan doing everything he can to get back at Cartman for Kyle’s sake.

- Stan demanding the doctor to wheel Kyle out to see Cartman in misery.

Asspen:

- “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HEATHER!!” >:(

- Kyle not wanting Stan to do the K-13. He doesn’t want him to die.

- Kyle holds a polaroid photo of the both of them. How cute. Does he bring it with him wherever he goes?

The Biggest Douche In The Universe:

- Stan not wanting to go back to Colorado without Kyle and does all he can to convince him that John Edward is a fraud.

Follow That Egg:

- They are dads.

- They take care of their egg really well.

- “As a matter of fact, it is the nicest hat I’ve ever known”

- They’re the reasons gays could get married.

- Stan getting jealous of Kyle being paired up with Wendy. It does seem like a reach I have to admit, but if you’re a Stylendy fan, then this one’s for you.

Return of Chef

- The iconic beginning “flashback” where they both look at the sunset together.

Smug Alert:

- Stan and Kyle meeting in the parking lot in the beginning when Kyle was helping his dad give fake tickets.

- Kyle being moved away from South Park has Stan write a song to get Kyle and his family to come back.

- The cute hug in the end.

Fantastic Easter Special

- Stan, out of breath, asks Kyle for help in protecting Snowball

- Kyle helping him out anyways even though he was busy with fingerprinting.

- Cinematic parallels of Kyle killing Jesus and Stan killing that alien in Pinewood Derby.

Imaginationland Trilogy

- Kyle calling Stan in the morning regarding the “dream.”

- Stan and Kyle, unsure of the notes, both trying to recall the Imagination song. It was cute.

- Stan being distraught when ManBearPig got a hold on Kyle. (I swear, I’ve used the word “distraught” for over 1948388 times now)

- Kyle communicating through Stan telepathically with his Imagination.

Guiltar Queer O

- The whole episode.

- “I know...I need you.”

- The whole episode was literally as if they went through a break up.

- They’re both in sync when playing, right up to their tongues up.

- “Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity! Oh, thank you, your royal lordship!” (Foreshadowing for SOT?)

- Stan thinking of Kyle as he’s “driving”.

The List:

- Stan doing all he can to prove that Kyle is a handsome mf. Another episode that screams Stylendy rights.

You Got F’d in the A:

- Kyle being so happy to see Stan dancing back to the Orange County kids.

- It’s canon that Stan can dance well while Kyle doesn’t have rhythm whatsoever. Wouldn’t it be a cute idea for Stan to teach Kyle how to dance?

You Have 0 Friends

- Kyle pleading Stan to water his crops.

- A short detail but if you noticed when Kyle announced that they made an FB account for Stan, he only added himself as Stan’s friend. This means that Kyle legit “friended” himself in Stan’s profile and didn’t bother to add Kenny or Cartman to Stan’s friend list.

- “Yes. WE’RE REALLY GREAT FRIENDS STAN!!” :D

You’re Getting Old:

- Oof. Yeah....

- Stan obviously loves Kyle a whole lot, but him seeing Kyle slowly turn into a turd probably did break his heart little by little. And when I mean by probably, I mean massively.

- Kyle shouldn’t exactly be demonized for not being able to handle Stan’s cynicism. Because I think it’s ok to admit you can’t handle such emotional drainage even if coming from your SBF, but do mind that him leaving Stan was most likely NOT easy for him. It’s kinda sad that they’ve slowly drifted away since then. BUT NO I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN ;-;

Assburgers:

- “Fuck you Kyle! You’re a piece of shit...Kyle, I love you. You’re a piece if shit though, fuck you...! I love you...”

- Stan immediately going back to Kyle when he’s feeling “better”

- That McDonalds Exec. literally narrating Stan and Kyle’s current rocky relationship and not believing every second of if.

A Nightmare on Facetime:

- “WILL SOMEONE GET ME A CHARGER OVER HERE!!’

- Kyle bringing and guiding Stan through the iPad.

Ginger Cow:

- Jokes aside, when Stan was asking Kyle about Cartman’s farts, he was really sweet and understanding to him. He genuinely wants to understand why Kyle likes Cartman’s farts so much and knew something was up by the way Kyle was hiding things.

- I also like how he was not afraid to call Kyle a dick. I think a good level of transparency is needed in a healthy relationship. That’s just how they roll.

- Stan helping Kyle cover up in the end....though it did backfire.

Black Friday Trilogy:

- “DID KYLE KNOW ABOUT THIS?!” “Kyle thought of it.” ;-;

- Stan being grounded and Kyle apologizing at the other side of the door was peak gay angst level.

- “That’s just how Xbox people are...” D:

- Ok now for something sweet. In the deleted scene, Stan was showing Kyle how the playstation controller works and...wow.......what cute babies.

Prehistoric Ice Man:

- “Oh my god! They killed Kenny!!” *looks at Kyle* “What? I’m not talking to you anymore.”

- Them fighting and arguing was so adorable. Their voices were so squeaky and cute in this episode.

- “First one to die loses.” SOGKEKGKRI WHAT MORONS

- Stan and Kyle kind of awkwardly trying to start the fight reminds me of Tweek vs Craig.

Mexican Joker:

- Stan angrily sending Cartman to the detention center after hearing about him sending Kyle there.

Band in China:

- “kyyyyyyYYYYYLEEEE :D DUDE YOU’RE BACK!!”

- Stan making a death metal band because a.) He hates living in the farm and b.) He misses Kyle so hard.

Britney’s New Look:

- Another Stan and Kyle episode where they both realized how so far in the wrong they’re in, and they desperately want to fix it.

- Stan and Kyle giving up in the end and joining in the chant.

The Death of Eric Cartman:

- Stan offering Kyle money so he could buy milk for lunch.

Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub:

- “You can't just hang out with your buddy Kyle all the time. People will think you guys are, you know, funny.”

- When Kyle walks over in the end, Stan proceeds to complain to him how he had the worst night and they both go to Kyle’s house to hang.

The China Probrem

- In the beginning, Stan telling Kyle to refute Cartman’s racist sayings and got overly concerned when Kyle said he couldn’t do this anymore.

- Stan going in Kyle’s room to talk about moving on from what they’ve witnessed.

- Stan holding Kyle’s hand to run away in Kyle’s dream. Kyle waking up and crying when Stan wasn’t around to comfort him.

- Stan and Kyle crying in each other’s arms and telling each other “I love you”.

- Small detail but when they were leaving the attorney’s office and the attorney and the kids were crying altogether, Stan put a hand on Kyle to comfort him as they were crying.

The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce:

- Stan appearing in Kyle’s living room suddenly.

- “Well dude, maybe we're just super badass. Have you thought of that?” Yeah I know Stan was trying to cover up what he just did by saying that but still.

Cartman Gets An Anal Probe:

- Stan helping Kyle save Ike.

- “Hahaha you farted.” WHAT GROSS DORKS

- Kyle telling a speech to the aliens and Stan remarking how beautiful it was.

A Very Crappy Christmas:

- Kyle calling Stan in the middle of the night to get the guys, and Stan answering all sleepily is so adorable.

- Stan and Kyle voice acting together.

- Stan and Kyle doing the stopmotion animation together.

- Stan and Kyle laughing when they had Stan voice act Cartman to say the “ham” line.

Fun With Veal:

- Kyle taking care of a sickly Stan despite being a bit of a germaphobe.

The Snuke:

- Stan coming over to a sick Kyle’s house immediately after school has been suspended.

Crack Baby Athletic Association:

- Stan not being afraid to call out on Kyle.

- Kyle snuck into Stan’s room and Stan was listening to him unfazed.

Quintuplets 2000:

- Them trying to do gymnastics.

Pee:

- Kyle getting disgusted after hearing Stan talk about how it’s normal for people to pee in pools and in the shower.

Butterballs:

- Kyle calling Stan out in the bathroom, and they have this long ass stare. Kyle knowing that Stan will be jackin it in San Diego.

Bike Parade:

- Stan making Kyle laugh.

Proper Condom Use

- Stan and Kyle playing with a Jennifer Lopez doll and roleplaying.

- “SCREAM FOR ME BITCH!” “AHHHHHHHHH”

- Stan and Kyle in the same car with their cute big heads protruding.

World War Zimmerman:

- Stan and Kyle playing football.

The Scoots:

- Once again, Stan and Kyle playing football.

City on the Edge of Forever:

- Stan saving Kyle in his dream.

- Stan and Kyle sitting a bit closer to each other than usual in Stan’s dream.

Grounded Vindaloop:

- The tetherball date.

- Stan and Kyle saying “fuck you” to Kenny.

Clubhouses:

- Stan reading Bebe’s note, and Kyle being unfazed about it later in the episode. It was never defined whether he was informed the note came from Bebe.

#REHASH:

- Stan and Kyle being called grandpas by the little kids.

Tegridy Farms:

- When one of Ike’s classmates blew smoke in front of Kyle, Stan got extremely defensive about it.

Raising the Bar:

- Stan informing Kyle that it isn’t cool to continue on with “Fatty Doo Doo”.

- Stan checking up on Kyle as he’s sitting alone and listening to him lament about how the bar has sunk so low because of people.

Go Fund Yourself:

- *looking at Kyle’s ass* Boy this is the life huh.

Truth and Advertising:

- Stan and Kyle fist fighting for real, and Tweek and Craig looking at them concerned since they rarely ever fight like this.

Conjoined Fetus Lady:

- Stan preparing to catch Kyle if ever he fails to catch the dodgeball.

Stanley’s Cup:

- THEIR YOUNGER SELVES PLAYING HOCKEY!

ManBearPig:

- Stan’s head on Kyle’s lap. It’s so beautifully rendered.

Board Girls:

- “Wow, you are really into board games.”

A Scause for Applause:

- Kyle confronts Stan about cutting the bracelet by saying Heidi Turner saw him with super glue.

The Death Camp of Tolerance:

- “KYLE! KYLE! YOU HAVE TO KEEP MAKING YOUR MACARONI PICTURES!!”

South Park Bigger, Longer and Uncut:

- Stan getting jealous that even Kyle is amazed at Gregory.

Cartman Join NAMBLA:

- Stan and Kyle putting their face against the glass.

Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics:

- Stan and Kyle making fun of Shelly behind her back.

Raisins:

- Kyle coming to visit Stan with the gang after the whole breakup.

- Kyle wanting Stan to be happy again by bringing him to Raisins.

- Kyle being annoyed over Stan being distraught over Wendy. Jealous?

Mr. Jefferson:

- When Stan hears a knock on his window, he assumes it’s Kyle.

- Stan and Kyle being good caretakers of Blanket.

- Stan and Kyle sleeping with Blanket.

173 notes · View notes

incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 5 years

Text

The Beginning... Episode 1 Part 2

Okay, wow. People really want this series to be a thing. So, wish granted! I’m super pumped for this! thanks for all the positivity you sent my way. I’ll try to live up to your expectations.

Also, an important note. In this AU, there are no pre-existing romantic relationships between the Smashers. Trust me, there will be. But this way there will be more room for drama.

Enjoy!

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*The Smashers have assembled in the amphitheater at Camp Smashanakwa. The show is on, and the teams are about to be forged. Ganondorf stands on the stage in full on Host mode.*

Ganondorf: Welcome back to Total Drama Smash Bros, brought to you by Lon Lon Milk! The coldest and most refreshing milk in the Chosen Kingdom. 9 Nine out of 10 Hylians recommend it!

Link: It's true.

Zelda: We're addicted. *Chugs a bottle of 2%*

Ganondorf: Now, before we can divide up these poor suckers into their teams, we need to introduce the rest of the staff! First off, is chef Ridley, who will be bringing you all your tasty camp treats.

*Cut to Ridley in the kitchen with a chainsaw and a suspicious bulging bag slung over his shoulder, dripping with blood.*

Ridley: HOPE YOU LIKE PORK! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Revs up the chainsaw

*Cut back to the amphitheater*

Ganondorf: Next is King K Rool, who will be managing our... forest friends.

*Cut to King K Rool in front of hundreds of giant cages all filled with monsters from various games*

K Rool: You just need to feed them properly.

*A couple of unpaid interns are dumped into a cage with a King Dodongo.*

Intern #1: Meh, still better than studying for finals.

Inter #2: THIS DOES NOT EXPAND DONG!

*Cut back to the amphitheater*

Ganondorf: After that is Bowser, our resident tinkerer!

*Cut to Bowser, working on a massive electrical bear trap.*

Bowser: My motto is, if it can be electrical, it should be! Buahahah!

*Cut back to amphitheater.*

Ganondorf: And finally, Wolf! Our handyman.

Wolf, off to the side smoking a cigarette: I fix your toilets. Piss me off at your own risk.

Marth: I'm beginning to suspect that Master Hand is angry with us, putting these lunatics in charge.

Erdrick: Ya don't say?!

Ganondorf: Anyway! Time to make our teams. *A bokoblin walks onstage wearing a pink glittery dress. It holds a bag full on envelopes.* Simply come up and choose an envelope. If the paper inside is green, then you're a Crying Goomba! If it's red, then you're an Ugly Koopa!

Red: Wow, you're not even trying to hide your pettiness.

Ganondorf: Nope!

*The victims- I mean contestants one by one took up envelopes from the pink dress clad bokoblin. In the end, the teams were as follows*

*Crying Goombas: Link, Daisy, Ike, Leaf, Red, Corrine, Joker, Rosalina, Marth, Bonny Janet.*

*Ugly Koopas: Samus, Zelda, Roy, Pit, Dark Pit, Robyn, Lucina, Captain Falcon, Peach, Erdrick*

Captain Falcon: Aw yeah! Let me hear ya my Koopas!

*Silence, crickets chirping.*

Captain Falcon: Come on guys! We're doing this anyway, least we could do is be pumped for it!

Zelda: Sorry Captain, but we're far more worried about what insanity Ganondorf is going to inflict on us.

Captain Falcon: True... but still! Twenty million big ones!

Peach: At least five of us are royalty. We've got more than enough money. We're just doing this because we want to remain Smashers.

Daisy: And being responsible monarchs means we can't use much of the royal treasury for ourselves. It'll be good to have some pocket change.

Marth: ...Well when it's said like that it seems kind of arrogant.

*Sure enough some of the less monetarily inclined Smashers are looking at the royals with a bit of resentment*

Ganondorf: Ha Ha! Finally some seeds of drama! But, for now, one final bit of exposition before we get the ball rolling!

*a screen descends and shows a picture of a shoddily constructed outhouse*

Ganondorf: This is the Den of Confession. It's a completely private place to air your dirty laundry and darkest secrets. I guarantee you that no one will probably won't not maybe possibly never not see it.

Everyone: …

Dark Pit: Do even you know where you went with that?

Ganondorf: Nope!

Inside the Confessional

Zelda: Darkest secrets huh... … … … … I'm... I'm not actually a blonde. My hair is bleached. … … *she suddenly jumps onto the camera* GIMME THAT TAPE!

*The smashers and new teams now find themselves on the beach where Ganondorf is standing with Bowser Both Ganondorf and Bowser are clad in the loudest Hawaiian swim trunks in history.*

Ganondorf: Welcome Smashers and viewing audience to your FIRST CHALLENGE!

Pit: Ooh! Ooh! Are we playing voleyball! I love volleyball!

Dark Pit: *smacks Pit upside the head*

Pit: Oww!

Dark Pit: Of course not you idiot!

Ganondorf: Actually, my emo feathered moron, we are playing volleyball!

Dark Pit: Wait- what?! That's it?!

Ganondorf, a shit-eating grin on his face: Weeeeeeeellllll.... not really. See we're going to be playing...

Samus: This is going exactly where I think it is isn't it?

Ganondorf, pulling out a Bomb-bomb with the fuse lit: VOLLEY-BOMB!

Samus: Yup.

*Ganondorf throws the bomb at the Smashers*

Ike: HIT THE DECK!

*The Smashers jump for cover as the bomb lands... and nothing happens. It's a dud.*

Ganondorf: HAH! Classic.

Bowser, producing a massive sack filled with bombs: These bombs were designed by yours truly! They're programmed to only explode when they hit the ground, so keep them flying! Cause if they touch down... well you get the idea.

Ganondorf: The rules are simple. The Goombas and the Koopas will each split into two teams of five. There will be two games of 5 v. 5. Whichever team wins both games wins invincibility... and a prize! The loser team will vote someone off the Island tonight.

Peach: Uh, excuse me! But what if both teams win a game?

Ganondorf: Oh. Well, in that case, we'd have to hole... … the tie-breaker. MUAHAHAHA! *Ominous lightning flash*

*Silence. Crickets chirping.*

Ganondorf: Well, hop to it!

Inside the Confessional

Bowser: I'm a little worried about Big G. He's... he's getting really into this whole reality TV deal. Way more than is probably healthy.

Inside the Confessional

Link: Hey, maybe Ganondorf has found his true calling an he'll leave Hyrule the fuck alone! But since when am I that lucky huh?

With the Goombas

Link: Okay team. I think we need to talk strategy.

Bonny Janet: We're all goon ta' die.

Link: No... we just need to be careful. I have the most experience with these types of bombs, so I should head the first Team 1. Daisy, you're the professional sportswoman so you'll head Team 2.

Daisy: You got it! If I can survive Mario Party then I can survive this.

Bonny Janet: Grate. Soo tha' sissy English Elf is goona ta leaad one tame and the talkin' floowers goon to lead the oother?

Link: You've got a problem with that?

Bonny Janet: Aye ah've goot a problem! Who made ye leader eh?! Ike's goot tha flammin' sword o' fire! E' should lead a team, not the flight fairy o'er dere!

Link: Daisy's got the most experience with games like these. She leads Team 2.

Joker: Uh, not to play Devil's Advocate, but Bonny has a point. Ike does seem pretty fireproof.

Marth: Call it same series bias, but Ike does seem like a good choice. I don't doubt Daisy's abilities, but this seems more like a “let's survive and outlast” situation than a “let's beat the other team into submission” type situation.

Ike: Look, Link, I don't want to be the asshole here, but if the group wants me I'll do it.

In the Confessional

Bonny Janet: Dun git ma wrong. Ah' got nothin' against Elfy personally. Boot e's a presumptuous prick if e's thinks e' can joost boss us around like that. We ain'r 'is lackeys!

In the Confessional

Link: And like that everyone's suddenly listening to the Scottish Imp of a Pokemon trainer! I mean, I know she's both adorable and hilarious, but you can't just throw strategy out the window.

In the Confessional

Daisy: I appreciated Link standing up for me, but frankly I think he was more offended than I was.

With the Koopas

Captain Falcon: Trust me guys! I got this one in the bag.

Samus: As much as I want to disagree with Falcon on principal, he's probably right. This does seem like his forte.

Lucina: Indeed. Finally, a use for the meathead.

Captain Falcon: Hey! My brain is made of pure brain stuff. And if it WERE meat it'd be delicious.

Erdrick: *pats Falcon on the head*

Roy: Okay, I say we keep Falcon back until round 2, sort of our ace in the hole okay? Samus, can you handle round 1?

Samus: No sweat.

Roy: Any arguments?

*There is silence for a moment but no one disagrees with him.*

Roy: Alright, move out!

*The Koopas move to leave, but Pit and Zelda are grabbed from behind and pulled behind a large rock by an unknown figure. It turns out to be Peach.*

Zelda: Peach, dear, could you tell me what's going on. I mean, if you want to be behind a rock... with me... I uh... can make some exceptions... but uh... should Pit really-

*Peach smacks Zelda upside the head*

Peach: No you useless lesbian! I'm with Mario remember.

Zelda: Oh. Yes. I see.

Pit: What's a lesbian?

Peach: You'll find out when you're older. But look. Zelda, you're only ride-or-die ally is one the other team right?

Zelda: Now that you mention it... I have been worrying about what to do without Link. I can handle myself but...

Peach: And Pit. It's only a matter of time before Dark Pit gets too annoyed with you and gets you voted off, right?

Pit: No! Pittoo and I are making great progress! This morning he only beaned me in the head with one gallon of milk.

Peach:

Zelda:

Pit: I'm screwed aren't I?

Peach: Not if we stick together! I propose an alliance between us. Together, we'll take each other to the final three!

In the Confessional

Peach: I can see that I'm in a bad boat. Both Daisy and Rosalina are on the opposing team, so I'm already out two allies. I know what people think of me, the “useless Princess”. If I don't act fast I'm going home. Zelda and Pit are both sweethearts, and they're bad asses to boot. They'll make good allies.

In the Confessional

Zelda: I want to go on the record as saying I do not need Link to survive this place. I already have an alliance of my own! Time to show that Princess Zelda is no damsel in distress!

Zelda: I'm on board.

Pit: I dunno... I don't feel right doing this behind my emo brother's back.

Peach: Well with an alliance we can watch out for him little guy.

Pit: You mean it?

Peach: One-hundred percent!

Pit: … Okay, I'm in.

Ganondorf, watching on one of his monitoring cameras: Ooh hoo! Looks like some drama is already kicking up! The Goombas in a power struggle and two princesses already teaming up with a gullible Angel! Will Link take true command of the Goombas? Will Peach survive with her new alliance? Find out, here on Total, Drama, SMASH BROS!

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And that’s a wrap on part 2! The actual challenge will be in the third and final part of this episode, which will include the voting off ceremony. Let me know what you think! Also, try and guess who will win and be voted off.

Be good people!

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aliferous-ly · 5 years

Text

Yayyyy Logan's birthday and also the busiest time of the year for me so I'm posting this for him (n giving him smth else but not posting bc y'all won't care about it lolz)

@rose-gold-roman

headcanon!!! bullet points !!!! we love that

anyway have some uhhhhh logince Cafe au

Slow burn style :3

Ok so Roman worked at Starbucks and he literally hated it. yes there were some good benefits but he considers their coffee spawn of Satan and therefore no longer works there and Instead works at a cute lil cafe

He makes the Best Coffee in the world some say he's magic

(is he?? that's up for u to decide)

Logan , tbh, doesn't love coffee that much. But Patton shows him this "absolutely adorable hole in the wall" and he loves the coffee creation he receives n falls in love with it

meanwhile Roman is leaning over the counter, just about swooning as this cute guy in a beanie gains this expression of utter delight merely from smelling his coffee

Emile: Roman u gotta work ik he's cute but there's other costumers

Roman: did u see the way he smiled?? did the sun get dimmer or is he just that bright???

So Logan's like well, it's closer than other cafes, the prices are better than Starbucks and also the coffee is better. They also make a killer hot chocolate too, and some teas, too

Roman's productivity levels go down exponentially whenever Logan walks in

While Roman is hyperaware of literally everything Logan does, Logan hasnt really noticed him past the initial "oh no he's hot don't mess up your order don't mess up your order don't mess up your order" mainly because Roman hasn't been doing the actual transaction bc he's so busy yknow, making the coffee

How often do u notice the person making it vs the person taking ur money? it's like that

HOWEVER Logan's good friend and also cousin Remy (moment of silence for Logan's childhood and also my new favorite cousin trope ever ) one day goes "HEY so my boy Virgil is in crew for Peter Pan and I think you'd enjoy it a lot and also this isn't an option ur going"

And Logan's like well, guess I'm going to the school play, cool

Our favorite drama nerd -- wait, Virgil. clarification, our favorite drama cast member is, surprise surprise, Peter Pan.

And the moment he gets on stage Logan is enraptured

The charisma, the crooked smiles, the way his eyes light up when he speaks ... Logan's gone.

Every so often Remy glances at him and cackles but Logan doesn't hear he's too caught up in the show

So the next time Logan goes in to get coffee he's blessed with some emotional whiplash because he can't tell Roman he saw him in Peter Pan without it being Weird because Roman is a principal cast member, he probably has tons of friends and dates, all of whom are better than Logan, so he keeps quiet

Meanwhile Roman Saw Logan in the audience and is like. waiting for him to say something maybe ? or maybe Logan didn't see him in the back, or recognize him w/o all the stage makeup on

Roman has to do the transaction, too, so cue two incredibly awkward college kids who know the other knows something but doesn't know the other knows something. essentially.

And everything goes back to the way it was

But now !!! Logan Notices ™️

So instead he drinks his weight in a drink he never particularly liked in the first place to spent more time around Roman who's really really pretty, holy shi

And Logan highkey wants to talk to him but talking to someone, esp when u have an infatuation with them (as Logan calls it) during their work hours when they can't say no or get away: big red flag. big no no

While Roman is too embarrassed to say anything and also he's been basically staring at Logan since day one and that's super creepy right

Emile: ur not like. using the good cream. for logan. when he never upgrades. are you???

Roman: nnnnnnnno never

Emile: bcos that's a whole fifty cents per drink hmmmm? :3c

Roman, sliding a five into the tip jar: I don't know what ur saying

So new semester starts right. And Roman n Logan end up in the same theater studies class. They sit next to each other bcos """"they don't know anyone else in the class""" (can u see the universe working to get these two morons together) (AKA me)

And Roman hears Logan mutter sassy comments under his breath and just snOrTs and Logan looks so surprised bcos normally nobody hears and/or cares enough to respond

So ofc Logan makes more of em just to hear Roman's laugh and they become like, partners in Arms in this class

Roman helps Logan thru the actual presentation aspects of the class while Roman learns from Logan going OFF with analysis

Logan: and honestly this probably doesn't matter but she speaks solely in simple sentences while he speaks in compound/complex/compound-complex which means she is more childlike and straightforward while he thinks too much

Roman, staring into his eyes and the absolutely hot expression he gets when concentrating: fascinating

Now at the coffee shop whenever Logan gets a to-go cup Roman writes something sassy on it

Cue the nicknames

S o . Many. Nicknames

And I want to post this now but I'm not done yet so TO BE CONTINUED

#hey logan i didnt forget i just have so many things going on i literally had 15 min today to do smth and maybe between classes and i should #im soso sorry im so busy i feel awful #but have this lil bullet point thing !!! its not much n i wrote it today but i have so so many things half begun that i ran out of time to #finish #kbye #love u #logince #me forgetting about patton in this iteration? more likely than u think #oops #<3

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thestarsarejusthelicopters · 6 years

Text

Epiphany

Genre: fluff, romance Pairing: childhood friend!Seokjin x reader Summary: Who would’ve thought that the boy you rejected back in grade school would end up becoming one of the people you love most in your life right now? Warnings: profanity [G] Word Count: 573 A/N: ohmygodd i canNOT believe that the last time I posted anything I wrote was a yEAR ago. ik a couple of you guys are waiting on a couple of other fics and i promise i will get them out as soon as i possibly can, but it’s been hella busy for me... tbh ik i’ve asked for too much patience from you guys im so sorry TTTTTT i am trying my best to balance my life outside this blog with the blog itself so hopefully that means more fics in the near future >< also, side note: i believe this is the first time i’ve written in first-person on this blog, and it’s b/c it just fit with the storyline a lot better; hope it works for you readers as well! and, yes ik this is a reeaallly short fic but i honestly just wanted to get something up and start writing again and hopefully more will come soon after <3

I never thought that Kim Seokjin would end up being the guy I would spend the rest of my life together with. And yet, at the same time, ever since we somehow accidentally met again, I’ve been wanting exactly that. Regrettably, I had been unapologetically bawling my eyes out about my most recent breakup at the time (in that darn coffee shop that I will forever blame for my current caffeine addiction, might I add). Romantic, trust me I know, but this isn’t exactly your typical fairy-tale romance. Or at least I don’t want to think that it is. Of course, it wasn’t a smooth ride to get to where we are now, to say the least. But Seokjin and I are now ready to take that step in our relationship, and it’s finally fucking time.

We started off as childhood friends, or something of the like. We met at church, went to the same school and we were in some sort of odd phase in which only children can be, really. It was such a weird thing, whatever it was between us, because we had this sort of tension hanging over us that didn’t ever really leave. And then one day, it just snapped in half. And this was because this man (of course, he was only a boy then) confessed to me out of the fucking blue. I had no idea. And I rejected him, which I know is laughably ironic now. We were still kids; we had a lot of fucking growing up to do still. And honestly, at that age Seokjin didn’t exactly have the most likeable character. What can I say? He knows he was a fool back then. Boys will be boys. But I’ll be the first to admit I was quite the idiot as well. I have a lot of excuses for what I said then, believe me.

It was a mess, honestly, after that day. I still remember the date. I remember a lot. More than I’m proud of. After all, I rejected him that day. Funny how I imagine I recall much more than he does. He and I went our separate ways, as much as we could at least but it was impossible to not cross paths in some way or another. Two years later, and he starts dating my best friend. Not that I was mad or jealous. I’ll never admit that. Never. But it made me realize that I reciprocated whatever feelings he had for me before. Or that I missed being loved. Honestly, I’m not too sure what I was feeling then. Like I said before, it was a mess. But, they broke up over the summer, and Seokjin and I didn’t really see each other after that. Sure, we texted some, but at some point he cut off contact and everything just stopped for us. I wasn’t expecting the stoplight to turn green for us, ever. But I guess the person responsible for writing our story wasn’t quite done with us morons yet, and I am so goddamn grateful that he picked up that fucking pen again.

I can’t help but remember the moment I put my hand on your shoulder back in middle school and told you “sorry, I don’t like you,” as you take my hands in yours today. And I hope you know that I mean it wholeheartedly when I tell you right now,

“I do.”

#kpopwonderlandtag #kwordsmiths #armiesnet #kpopwritingnet #bts #im so disappointed in myself lol #a whole year and i give yall like 500 words of idek #honestly i just rly wanted to get the writing started again #hopefully this works lmao #also i wanted to get this up before 12am #bc the date would've been so perfECT #but like close enough #kim seokjin #seokjin #bangtan #bts fics

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akatokuro · 6 years

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The Inevitable StS Rewatch, Episodes 31-35

YES, I AM STILL MAD ABOUT SHUN!!!!!

- Even though Saori isn't a fighter, I'm glad she feels like part of the team in scenes like this! Shun telling her to watch over Seiya and her "understood" response, hnngggg.

- Recent events must be wild from Saga's POV (uncluttered with confused early filler and misunderstood lore.) There's no way for him to even be sure if Aiolos is really dead at this point, is there? I think you could easily swing a similar setup to the anime with Saga recently becoming paranoid and more brutal ever since the Galaxian Wars aired on TV, even taking out the "oh no everything changed when the pope's evil brother attacked!"

- It's not a big deal, but every time stuff like the steel ball-wielding Saint or the frisbee Saint pop up, I'm just like... WHAT HAPPENED TO ATHENA FORBIDDING WEAPONS, GUYS? has anyone told dohko that these jerks are stepping on his territory?

- hyouga and shun sure are married. in other news, water wet, sky blue, etc etc

- Hi again, Ikki! Nice to see you back and at least 80% more in character? Still a little too specifically protective of Saori but a big improvement from the last time you were here, at least!

- I MEAN, HANGING OFF EITHER ENDS OF A CHAIN ON A TREE BRANCH CAN BE A LEGIT DATE, TOO, HYOSHUN!

- "Oi, Shun! Oi!" hnnnngggggg, and then telling Shun to go up first, hnnnnggggg. swan may be a dumbass but he is a very sweet boyfriend

- Something about these two as a duo, even - or maybe even especially - lurking in the background together is so fucking charming. I think part of what makes the HyoShun feel oddly real even at this stage is Hyouga's weird insistence on saying Shun's name at every opportunity...? But they really do have this natural chemistry where they feel especially, quietly fond of each other.

- headless ikki is hilarious

- "Heh, if Shun and Hyouga can't survive getting thrown off a cliff on their own, they're losers anyway. Let's beat it" ah yes now there's the ikki i know and love!

- saori nooooooo!

- By the time she officially assumes her role at Sanctuary, Saori definitely hates herself. It's pretty painful seeing that process really get going in these past few eps.

- Once again, as always, Hyouga comes across as really attentive to Shun. Something about the emphasis on the shot of Hyouga lifting his eyes to him before turning to Shun and addressing him directly when he didn't really need to. The charming thing about Hyouga is that yes, he puffs himself up, but he's also 100% earnest all the time - he doesn't feel self-conscious or defensive about his attentiveness or concern for Shun, either.

- Oh right, the Ikki backstory that for some reason they kicked to the present while cutting Shaka's role. That is a shame. This is one of those things in my grotesque Frankenstein-like personal Saint Seiya canon where the manga version does win out.

- I'M PRETTY SURE THE SETTING WITH ESMERALDA'S DEATH WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IN THE ORIGINAL FLASHBACK...? I MEAN, OKAY, BUT...

- I feel like ordinarily I would be really annoyed by what a flat "I solely exist to make sad doe eyes and then be fridged" female character Esmeralda is, but the whole thing with "teehee, did you mistake me for your little brother again!" "Yeah, you look exactly like him!" "Teeheehee!" is so fucking weird it just drains me of all capacity to be potentially outraged...

- I ENJOY HYOUGA JUST CASUALLY INCLUDING HIMSELF AS ACCOMPANYING SHUN ON HIS IKKI INVESTIGATION LIKE IT'S THE MOST OBVIOUS THING.

- Between this and his boyfriend's complex about his dead mom......... Shun sure has a hard life..........

- And now we're into Shiryuu's filler arc! Considering how weird the manga-anime relationship in StS is and how both fed into and revised each other, is it unreasonable to assume that Kurumada saw this set of episodes and went: "Tiger-themed character to contrast Shiryuu's dragon... Ohko... Ohko... Ohko........... d......ohko...? DOHKO......? WHOA YES NAILED IT"

- I do like the contrast in this episode between Shiryuu presenting a calm facade and "it'll be okay, any one of us would have done it" to the other Bronzies, but here in private he's having violent nightmares and obviously struggling with what's happened to him.

- I feel so sorry for Shunrei. Her body language and expressions here tell you a lot about the quiet frustration and anguish that she keeps pinned down under that gentle, supportive face. Hm, you and your future husband do have that in common, I suppose, Shunrei...

- It's still hard to see Shiryuu taking his frustrations out on Shunrei, though. Uncool, my dude.

- It's also hard to see Shunrei implicitly devaluing herself and "accepting" that her concern isn't enough to move Shiryuu on its own by bringing up Seiya and the others in order to motivate him - and then catching herself for letting an edge get into her voice.

- Seiya, his weird early entry from the filler is over. Ikki gonna Ik. Best to just accept it, the way his younger brother mostly does...

- Hey, is this the first time Seiya belts out his "Saori-san"? An exciting occassion!

- I do think it's interesting and nice in the wider context that Saori comes to Ikki's defense here - both understanding that Saori is privately blaming herself for what happened to Shiryuu and Seiya, and knowing that Ikki is also incredibly damaged for things that she and her grandfather was responsible for. Ikki is fucked up and can't communicate well because of things Saori was complicit in, so yes, it's appropriate that she at least urge others to be understanding of him.

- kurumada flying bythe seat of his pants jokes aside ohko is a bad character sorry

- Seiya/Shiryuu fans must have been veeeeeery happy about this setup with Seiya searching for the magic water...

- It must have taken a ton of courage and frustration for Shunrei to finally "snap" a bit and be honest about what she wants like this. Shunrei is in a painful position where she can't hate Sainthood and what it does to her loved ones, per se - because she was raised by Dohko and owes everything to Saints and has been basically indoctrinated into the SAINTS = NOBLE AND GOOD worldview as well - but it still tears her apart to see Shiryuu volunteer himself to get ripped to shreds, and hate himself and see himself as lesser if he can't do that. So she mostly just locks everything inside.

- I like her including "Seiya and the others will understand!" too, because it reflects her desperation and how much thought she’s quietly put into this.

- She's right, by the way, Shiryuu. You could be so happy with her. You are sort of unique amongst most of the Saints in that you really do have the capacity to find a good life outside of the Sainthood and be happy. RETIRE, GODDAMMIT. (Next Dimension made me a little bit upset, can you tell?)

- Considering Shunrei's courage in putting herself out there in a way she almost never dares to, it really sucks to see Shiryuu just totally reject her in a pretty cruel way. I get that he's hurting, but VERY uncool, man.

- And then Shunrei begging Dohko for help, and just getting "LOL THIS IS THE DESTINY OF SOMEONE WHO LIVES AS A SAINT!" Like, I think Shiryuu is a good guy, but really, Shunrei probably deserves a lot better than a Saint, period.

- And then Ohko and Shiryuu have a shounen fight where Shiryuu regains his self-confidence and Ohko finally grasps the meaning of true strength blah blah blah. Wow, Shunrei really was the most interesting part of this arc, huh?

- All the mumbling Dohko does in these eps about "I must return to my task" is weirdly hilarious to me, though. Like... what, did you take a break from watching the seal for a while? DID YOU LET RHADAMANTHYS SLIP OUT FROM UNDER THE WATERFALL TO OBSERVE THIS DUEL OR

- and then aiolos randomly decides that he wants to take a bath, trolling both graude and sanctuary alike. sure.jpg

- Shiryuu, you stupid fuck. You absolute dumbass. You moron. You could be so, so, so happy. Goddammit, Shiryuu.

- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, MU

- KIKI IS FUCKING EIGHT YEARS OLD. you didn't leave him a note? did you leave him out food? i love the implication that mu disappeared because he's laying low since sanctuary's mooks are probably after him. YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO WARN KIKI ABOUT THIS?

- ESPECIALLY SINCE A SANCTUARY MOOK DOES ACTUALLY SHOW UP LOOKING FOR MU WHEN KIKI IS THERE AND SEIYA HAS TO SAVE HIM?

- and then we spent an entire filler episode watching seiya climb a mountain and punch birds.

- next episode: HE HAS ARRIVED AT LAST. IT'S MILO TIME MOTHERFUCKERS

#rewatching sts #aquarius camus did nothing wrong

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sacred-arrow · 7 years

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If It Were Me Chapter 3: Towards the Western Land

Y'all. This is purely shit. Like a pink troll just came up to you, bent over and shit glitter EVERYWHERE. Yeah. That's what happened to this chapter. Tagging my girls because they are my rocks and my muses. @inunanna @lacyjaybird @keichanz @adorableears7 @kags09 @inukag-4ever Also, @gypsin @shardetector @grapefruitwannabe @artistefish @mmhinman @mustardyellowsunshine @kagomeforever and all the others that showed any interest in this syory. I hope y'all enjoy. My cell does not allow italics or bolding on this one. 😡 so it may be slightly confusing. I'm posting this via my cell, while I wait on help to arrive and jump start my car.... 😂 I'm a moron most days. Anyway, on with the chapter. ---IIWM--- Previously on If It Were Me: Kagome shook her head. “I know a mountain that holds the castle of the Lord Inu no Tashio. The people of the castle concealed it after his death, and rumor has it, it’s now abandoned.” Inuyasha’s ears perked up as he stood. “Take me to it.” She shook her head. “It’s too dangerous.” “So. I have some weird blood flinging power and you have your sacred arrows. We’ll be fine.” Kagome sighed. “Do you really think this is wise?” “I’m the son of the Lord of the West. You’re the Guardian of the Sacred Jewel. I think we got this.” He extended a clawed hand to her and she gratefully took it. “Fine. Let’s go. It’s a three day travel. I warn you, the terrain is tough for someone who is not used to this climate.” She stepped towards the West, Inuyasha following close behind her, hands shoved in his pockets. “Will you be okay, yer shoulder and all?” Kagome cocked her head to the side and smiled with a nod. “It keeps getting better each moment. Crazy how fast that medicine is working.” “Good. Then let’s do this.” He wanted to see the castle his father inhabited, and maybe learn a few things about his family and his demonic side that his father never told him. Plus, a few more days with Kagome wouldn’t be so bad, though hell would have to freeze over before he would admit to such a thing. The priestess in mind kept a steady pace ahead of him with a smile on her face. Kagome was happy he was staying a bit longer too, but he didn’t need to know that either, thus his ego would get to big. Giggling, she peered over her shoulder to see him looking at her. When their gazes locked, they both blushed and averted their eyes. It was going to be an interesting few days. Thus, their journey has just begun. ---IIWM--- Towards the Western Lands Two days on the road with Kagome were a little more difficult than Inuyasha had imagined. Being a male, and only having an older brother, he had forgotten that women had very specific needs. Even though his mother was very much a woman, he didn't exactly take notice of her feminine hygiene. The duo had camped out near hot springs both of the previous days because Kagome was determined to smell her best while in the company of a man. Kagome had pinched his right, upper arm flab- or Bingo Wings, as some people liked to call it- when he huffed for the fourth time that morning. His arm still hurt so Inuyasha decided it was best not to argue with her. The half-demon honestly had no idea why she was so worried. He actually thought the pure priestess smelled great, like the forest and sunshine. How does sunshine have a smell, idiot? Inuyasha shook his head. If he had said that aloud, Kagome would either have accused him of being mental or a pervert. Clearing his throat with a cough into a closed fist, he settled on not saying a word as Kagome scouted for the perfect campsite. Kagome stopped mid-stride and pointed to a large tree off to the far side of the dirt road. “That looks like a nice spot, what do you think Inuyasha?” Sighing, the half-demon stretched his arms and laced his fingers behind his head. “We’re stopping again, wench?” Kagome shot him a glare over her shoulder causing him to shrink back slightly -a habit he developed dealing with his mother’s temper- and throw his hands up in mock defense as he nodded. “Fine. It's fine.” Inuyasha had learned that Kagome had a temper that rivaled with his mother's. He walked to a nearby tree and sat down cross legged. Inuyasha noticed his uniform was beyond dirty and his hair had collect enough twigs and leaves to construct a fire pit. Kagome made her way towards him and set down her bow and quiver. Settling beside Inuyasha, she reached out and undid his hair tie. As a reflex, Inuyasha jumped away from her. “Oi, what are you doing?” “I am removing the various items that have collected in your hair for the past two days. The sun will be setting in about an hour. So you can go wash up first and I will clean your clothes. Maybe your father’s castle will have something for you to wear.” Giving her a look that screamed, should I trust you, Inuyasha saw her blue eyes light up as she smiled which caused his accusations to dissipate. Leaning back into her touch, he cast a golden glance over his shoulder.“Hey, are ya feeling any better?” Kagome’s smile widened. “I am.” Inuyasha arched a brow over the same narrowed eye he was assessing her with. Kagome sighed. “It’s sore, but there is no pain. The herbs are working wonders and it’s healing just fine. Now, just relax.” Still uncertain, he stared at her for a moment, before he shrugged and turned back to face the west. Kagome concentrated her power to see past his glamour where the target of her desire hid from normal human eyes. The miko was so careful with his ears and it amazed Inuyasha at her tenderness. He only had to growl once when she accidently ran her fingers over the soft fur. Giggling like a school-girl, Kagome regained her posture and continued removing the debris. She took the time to take in Inuyasha’s form. He had to be the most handsome man she’d ever met and since she spent fifty of her supposedly sixty-eight years of life pinned to a tree, that was the best she could ask for. At the moment the half demon was laid back and calm, however she knew that wasn’t exactly his personality. He had a foul mouth ninety percent of the time and honestly he had no idea how to talk to women, but he sure knew how to treat one. His mother must be an angel. Her thoughts cut short when Inuyasha leaned his head back to look at her. The glamour flickered, but when it was clear again, Kagome sighed. Those golden eyes. “Done wench? The bath sounded like an okay idea.” He muttered. “Oh!” Shaking off the mesmerizing trance his eyes put her in, Kagome pointed right. “Of course. Just go to the hot spring down the hill, and I will take your clothes to the river on our left.” “You want me to get naked and walk to the hot spring from here?” Kagome laughed. “Yes, or would you rather me walk with you, watch you strip, and then take your clothes?” Inuyasha grinned. “If ya wanted to see me naked, all ya had to do was ask.” Once his brain registered the words he had spoken, he immediately regretted them. Scare her off why don’t cha? Spending way too much damn time with Ryou. She didn’t know her face could get so hot. “I—well you see—wait—what?” Trying to play cool and save face, Inuyasha laughed, “I was kidding.” He stood and walked behind the tree. Quickly stripping, he wondered if he should give up his underwear. It dawned on Inuyasha that he probably should incase there wasn’t anything else at the castle. Did men even wear underwear in this era? “Here.” He flung the clothes around the tree. Before she could utter a single word, Inuyasha was already halfway to the hot spring. Laughing, Kagome gathered his clothes and headed to the river. Once she got there, she started separating his clothes out of the bundled up wad Inuyasha had rolled them in. A small thud sounded against the rocky shore and she spotted Inuyasha’s rosary. He had been wearing it from the time they left the village, since he wasn’t one hundred percent sure about his surroundings in her era, but he had just taken it off for whatever reason, and for that she was more than grateful. He was beautiful in any form, but who could pass up on those ears and molten orbs? Not sure what to do with the rosary, Kagome simply placed it around her slender neck. The cool beads felt nice against her skin. “Dog-boy sure has nice taste.” Kagome giggled when she recalled the moment she had demanded he sit next to her by the well. The look that crossed his face was priceless, no doubt he thought she was using the term because he was in fact half dog-demon. “Sit . I can’t believe how cliché that is.” Releasing the fang she was holding, Kagome began to wash his clothes, unaware of the red tint the rosary was suddenly surrounded in. ---IK--- The water was fucking hot. Inuyasha stood there for a moment; the temperature of the isolated spring even moreso hotter than that of a hot tub. He slowly waded in, letting his balls get acquainted with the temperature, before settling down. Finally all the aching muscles in his legs and feet gave into the relaxation and he sighed. “Oh yeah.” He dunked his head back and ran his fingers through his hair. Standing, he shook his head like a mad dog before tying it back so he could rest comfortably against a rock. Inuyasha figured Kagome would come for him before too long so he leaned against the boulder and let the calming steam surround him. It wasn’t so bad until thoughts of a certain raven haired beauty came to his vision in nothing but her birthday suit. His eyes snapped opened before he shook his head. “Oh no, not her.” He grumbled. He couldn’t be attracted to her. He would be gone in a few days, hopefully, so he could not, should not, would not get attached to her. Stop picturing her naked. “Inuyasha. I have your clothes laying out to dry.” Kagome’s voice drifted out from behind a tree and he could see her hand waving to him. “Uh, thanks. Can you throw me my underwear?” “Um, but you don’t have a fundoshi.” Inuyasha ran his palm down his face. “No, but I have underwear. The blue briefs are what my era calls a fundoshi.” How could I forget about fucking fundoshi? Kagome laughed. “Oh. These? Incoming!” The boxers made a flop on the rocks beside the hot spring. “I’ll be at the camp site. I took the liberty of gathering wood for a fire.” Before he could answer she shouted out. “And hurry up. It’s my turn.” He grinned. In a teasing voice he shouted back. “You could just join me.” Kagome was silent for a moment, but soon she appeared from behind the tree. “You don’t mind?” He gaped at her before burying himself deeper into the water. Hold up. I was only kidding. He thought, only no words would come out of his mouth. Moving closer, she motioned towards his briefs. “I’ll leave mine on too. The bandages are not in the way of my cleansing.” Inuyasha gulped, but nodded anyway and slipped on his briefs as she turned away to strip behind a rock. Kagome returned wearing the bandages that tightly supported her breasts and a koshimaki that she lifted and tied between her thighs. Inuyasha thought the thin material looked like a diaper the way she had wrapped herself up, but it was a little hard not to notice how the thin white material became see through once she waded into the water across from him. She sat down and gently began washing. Not once making eye contact with the handsome half-demon in front of her. Inuyasha had to tear his gaze away- it was like ripping a bandaid off of a hairy arm-, but once she began to clean her face and neck, he noticed his rosary against her porcelain skin. “Kagome, is that my charm?” Delicate hands stopped mid rinse as her eyes snapped open and she gasped. “Oh! I’m sorry! I forgot about it. I was- um washing your clothes and it had fallen out. I didn’t have anywhere to put it so I put it on so I wouldn’t lose it. I know how important it is to you.” She hastily shot out her excuse as she reached to take it off. Inuyasha was baffled for a moment before he let out a laugh. “Calm down. I was only curious. You can wear it. It's not like I have to have it right now. I’ll let ya know when I need it.” He didn’t know what possessed him to let her keep it on for the time being, but the words flew out of his mouth as if he was destined to say them. Kagome nodded and continued cleaning herself. A blush appeared on her cheeks and she kept her eyes cast downward. She was tempting, even for his age he knew how bad he had it for the beautiful woman. Maybe it was just lust, he was just lusting after her body. She was fit with her tight belly, decent size breasts, full hips and a round butt to top it off. Now that she was wearing something that was his, something very important to him- well, it didn’t help his case of blue balls. Lust. That was it. He was a man after all, but that didn’t stop the thoughts running through his head. Think of Sesshomaru naked. That worked, yeah- he was good. Kagome smiled. “Inuyasha?” He snapped his attention back to her. “Yeah?” She was making her way over to him and his breathing hitched. “Would you mind washing my back? I know we changed the dressing this morning, but I can still feel the hardened paste from the herbs Kaede sent with us.” He nodded and wet his hands. Careful of his claws, he slowly massaged the green paste from below the bandages on her arm and back. It was a little hard to get off, but he finally chipped the last of it away. She sunk below the surface as he moved his hands tenderly across her back. Kagome wasn’t sure how relationships acted in his time, but she thought he must be with someone at his age. “Are you married, Inuyasha?” That question stumped him and he retracted his hands quickly. “Say what now?” She turned to see a very confused look on his face. “Married. Do the wedding customs differ in your time? Many of the young adult villagers are married. Eighteen is considered an adult. We have villagers as young as eleven marry.” Inuyasha laughed. “No. They are very different. In my time, many people are still not married and some are a lot older than eighteen.” Her face twisted. “Seriously?” He nodded. “So you are not?” “No and I am not seeing anyone either.” That was a lie. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to say that. He had been seeing Haruka on and off for the past six months, but he honestly didn't consider it a steady relationship. “Oh.” Was all she seemed to have left to say. “Demons don’t marry in the way humans do. Half demons don’t either. Demons mate for life. My father mated my human mother and in doing so he was able to share his life span with her. Demons can live for centuries so now she can live as long as my father does. I’m half-demon so if I were to marry a human, I would share my life span with her, except we wouldn’t live as long as full blooded demons do. When two full blooded demons mate, nothing changes except their bond. Neither would have to share their life span to keep their mate alive. My half-brother mated a full blooded, wind demon-” “Brother?” “Sesshomaru-” “Sesshomaru is your brother?” Kagome seemed almost appauld. “Half-brother and I forgot he lived this era too. Have you ever met him?” “Only once, cold hearted bastard.” Kagome crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “He killed without mercy and left with no remorse.” Inuyasha halted all movement. “I didn’t do anything so put those veins back in yo7r forehead.” When she presented him with a small smile, he reached over to poke her in the cheek. “You can do better than that. Come on.” Kagome giggled and Inuyasha grinned as he continued to remove the remaining dried paste. “He ain't that way anymore. I mean he’s still a bastard, but he doesn’t kill now. Like I mentioned before he’s mated to a wind demoness named Kagura.” “That’s someone I’ve never met.” She placed her finger to her chin, as she thought to recall the name. “Nope, no wind demoness’ in my lifetime, but I have been passed out for fifty years.” Kagome laughed at her own joke. Inuyasha rolled his eyes with a snort as he rinsed off her back. “Done.” Kagome turned to him and smiled. “Thank you.” The half demon locked eyes with the priestess. She was missing fifty years of her life, but in his eyes it was like a blessing. He was glad he was able to meet her now and while she was still young. Does that make me a bad person for being happy she was pinned to the tree for fifty years so I could meet her by chance? Inuyasha shook his head when her voice interrupted his thoughts. “Let’s get back to camp. I am starving.” Nodding, they stood and walked back to camp after they gathered their clothes. Once they got settled around the fire, he noticed a dead rabbit lying by the rigged skewers she had set up next to the fire. “You killed it?” Kagome nodded once as she smiled wide. She looked so proud of herself. He watched her walk over to the fallen animal and pick it up. Pulling a knife from her quiver, she looked at him and crouched down before turning her back. “Oi, woman, what cha doin’?” Kagome glanced over her shoulder. “I have to skin it and gut it so I can cook it.” He walked over to her and looked at the animal. The priestess brought the knife down to skin it. “How do you cook food in your time?” “A stove mostly.” Her confused expression caused him to elaborate. “It’s a device used for cooking. You can cook on the top of it or inside of it. Really, it’s not as complicated as I make it sound.” Either she didn’t care, or she was too confused to care, and she turned away and finished her task. Soon she had the rabbit skewed and roasting over the heat of the fire. “Damn. It actually smells good I don't think I’ve ever had rabbit like this before.” “I'm glad you approve so far. Wait until you taste it. I use to cook quite often. Rabbit stew was my specialty. However, I had the tendency to cook enough for the whole village.” She rotated the rabbit. “I’m not used to cooking small proportions. So the village started to contribute once a week for me to cook the stew. Other nights we would eat rice balls and fish.” “That river that runs in front of the village must be a nice accommodation for you.” He tried to continue the small talk. “It is.” She pulled the rabbit up and took a small taste. “Perfect. Here taste.” Kagome pulled a small piece off the side and extended the offer to him. Inuyasha didn't move at first, but then Kagome huffed and moved closer until she was directly beside him. A faint blush crossed their features as she offered him the bite once more, this time he accepted it as he opened wide. Kagome placed the piece in his mouth. When his tongue accidentally touched her thumb and pointer finger, Kagome jumped at the sensation. Inuyasha tried not to let her see him grin. The two ate in utter silence. So much for the small talk. Inuyasha thought. He finished his portion of the meal and stood to grab his clothes hanging from a nearby branch. The damp underwear was a little uncomfortable in his uniform, but he would have to make do. He did not want to know what a fundoshi was that men wore in this time. Soon, Kagome yawned and settled back against the trunk of a large tree. Inuyasha had decided in order to watch over the miko better, he would perch himself in the same tree so he could see farther distances and hear better from each direction. Kagome set her weapons in her lap and wrapped her arms around them loosely. “Goodnight, Inuyasha.” The half-demon grunted in response. Sleep was looming over him and he gave in to the temptations before he even realized Kagome had fallen asleep minutes before. His last thoughts were what a catch the pure priestess actually was. ---IK--- Kikyou was dreading looking for Kagome. She honestly did not want to kill her cousin, but now that she was awake, Naraku would do anything to get rid of her and whatever demon had come to grab her attention. She wasn’t even sure if Kagome was still alive, if the aura of the demon she had sensed was actually as powerful as she thought. In all honesty, Kagome could be dead already. Which would save me the trouble. Kikyou wasn’t sure what possessed her to hate her cousin so much. The pure priestess was a gentle soul, so full of life and love. Maybe Kikyou was jealous, as Kaede had always put it. “Ye really crossed the line Kikyou. Going after Onigumo the way you did.” The young girl had told her sister after Kagome had caught them kissing one afternoon. Of course Onigumo had denied the act, but he knew Kagome was no fool. “Ye are just jealous that Kagome finally found love and it had nothing to do with the sacred jewel.” Oh but it did, dear sister. The jewel was Onigumo’s target all along. When Kagome had found him that fateful day, he had no idea who she actually was, but after a few weeks with her, realization struck him. Kagome was the guardian of the Shikon no Tama and he wanted it, no he desired it. The whole falling in love and spending the rest of his life with Kagome was a lie. He never wanted the guardian, never wanted a life with her, he only wanted the jewel she protected. Or so he had told Kikyou. When Onigumo and Kikyou met, all he could do was fawn over her. Onigumo used Kagome, used her for his own selfish reasons and love had nothing to do with it. He had promised Kagome that he would love her forever, but only when she became a free woman. However, he swore to Kikyou that each day he was with her he loved her more than he could express. She believed him and that was her downfall. They advised a plan to get rid of Kagome so Kikyou could have everything she wanted; Onigumo, and the true love of a man. She didn’t need to possess the jewel anymore, but he did. Onigumo wanted to possess the power it held so he could reign supreme in all the lands. The only thing in their way was Kagome. He told Kikyou to kill her, to get the pink marble and they could finally be free and live together like man and wife. The older priestess had agreed to the whole thing and went to her cousin begging for forgiveness for the actions she had displayed with Onigumo. Kikyou’s apology was nothing but a ploy to get close to Kagome, but being the woman Kagome was, her heart far bigger than most, she forgave the older priestess. Kikyou took her chance to take the sacred pearl, but failed in the end. When Kikyou escaped empty handed, a thought struck her like a lightning bolt; she could give Onigumo the powers he wanted without the jewel. The priestess dabbled in black magic, mixing herbs and other various items until a large cloud of purple smoke rose from her mixing bowl. Kikyou poured the contents into a small tin, and went off to find Onigumo. He was resting under a tree when she approached him. Standing he reached a hand out to her. “Where is the jewel?” “I was unable to get it.” He had a scowl on his face. “You told me you would get the jewel, Kikyou. Do you not love me? Am I not worth this small task?” She nodded eagerly. “Of course, which is why I brought this.” She shifted her haori and brought forth the covered tin. “Drink this and I can give you the power of 1000 demons.” Onigumo snatched the silver tin up and downed the contents. Kikyou pulled a small blade from her haori and swiftly plunged it deep into his chest, directly into his heart. He let out a vigorous scream as she had begun to chant, a white ring surrounded them. Onigumo was on his knees, the deep, red blood dripping from his wound and her hands. The light disappeared and a swarm of demons came rushing forth from the sky. Kikyou fell back out of the way as Onigumo absorbed them into his body. “Onigumo, your body is restored.” Kikyou announced. She stood and walked to him. Placing her hand in the center of his back, she ran her fingers over a large spider-shaped scar. He stood there, adjusting to his new flesh. His eyes blood red, his hair grew far too long and the color of midnight, and his voice became ever so empty. “You know what I need?” The voice was deeper, colder, evil. "Yes, Onigumo.” “Call me Naraku.” He laughed and pulled her to him. Quickly she fell into his arms as he kissed her passionately. Naraku had pulled her to him, turning to press her against the tree. He gently pulled her hakamas down running his hands up her now bare thighs. Bracing Kikyou against the tree trunk, he brought her leg up to wrap around his narrowed waist. Once situated, he entered her, quickly thrusting into Kikyou’s warm body as she used his shoulders to steady her balance. Soon he had both her legs around him, pounding vigorously inside of her lithe body. Both gave a cry of pleasure as Naraku dropped her slowly to her feet and pulled free. It ended as quickly as it happened. That was also the night he had taken Kaede’s eye. The once young child had tried to protect Kagome from Naraku who had shaped himself into Kikyou’s form. Kaede knew something was wrong with the person before them and she attempted to shoot an arrow towards him. Naraku laughed at her attempt and shot forth a cluster of tentacles from his arm which Kaede desperately tried to dodge. Kaede cried out as they impaled her, tearing a gash into her shoulder and eye. Kikyou had been oblivious to his plan and her young sister had paid the price. “And all of it was for the stupid Shikon no Tama.” She muttered. Shaking her head the dead priestess kept walking to Kaede’s village. Kikyou needed to pay her sister a visit, and if Kagome was there, so be it. ---IK--- “Inuyasha? You awake?” Kagome’s voice came out a little louder than she meant for it to. Inuyasha woke with a start, falling from the tree branch he was resting on. “What the hell, wench?!” Kagome suppressed a laugh as he stood rubbing his sore backside. “It’s time to get going.” She nodded towards the mountains in the distance. “We should be there before dark.” Inuyasha grinned. “We can get there faster if you climb on.” He knelt down and waited for her to move. “Are you sure?” She cocked her head and placed her bow and quiver on her back. “Yes, now get on, we ain’t got all day.” She could tell he was getting a bit irritated, so she climbed on, minding his long hair and held on tight. “Alright. Hold on!” With that, he pushed off the ground with a powerful thrust causing the beautiful woman on his back to gasp. Oh I’m going to enjoy this. He gripped her thighs firmer as she held on to his shoulders a little tighter. Kagome squealed with delight as Inuyasha bounced off towards the West. She opened her cerulean blue eyes only to narrow them as the wind whipped her in the face. However, she was still able to experience the beauty around her. It was sight Kagome had never seen. From the height in which he was jumping to, the miko was able to get a whole new outlook on her homeland. The leaves were multiple shades of green and moved fluently with the gentle wind. The sunlight ricocheted off the water producing a sparkling diamond like effect. She was in awe. Kagome's left hand tightened on his left shoulder as her right arm extended up in the air as if giving the sky a high five. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Kagome gave off an excited whoo-hoo as she threw her head back. Inuyasha almost missed his next landing, but as he glanced over his shoulder and witnessed the pure joy etched across her face, he smiled. The sun was hitting her just right, making her glow like one of her sacred arrows. When Kagome finally opened her eyes to look directly into his golden orbs- a mega-watt smile plastered across her face- he couldn't help think--- Kagome was the greatest, fucking woman he had ever met. He just wasn't sure what exactly how he was supposed to assess the feeling he was starting to get the past few days. A matching blush spread over the bridge of their noses and they both turned away. However, neither one released the grip they had beneath their fingers as if they truly didn't want to. The spark that had ignited between them was starting to grow and no one would be able to extinguish it. Ever. ---TBC---

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warsofasoiaf · 8 years

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How would you write a realistically talented military leader? From what I've seen, many fictional commanders survive by chance, not skill.

Well, chance and luck aren’t necessarily a bad thing. Frederick the Great? Lucky. Washington? Lucky. Napoleon? So lucky that he even said “I would rather have a general who was lucky than good.” If luck saves your general’s bacon, that isn’t a bad thing to show in your story, just don’t make it the only thing.

The key mistakes I see with amateur writers making “good” military leaders are: not explaining why said character is so good (the ‘yadda yadda yadda’), making enemies incompetent to the point of neglecting basic military essentials (the ‘surrounded by idiots’), using knowledge that could not be reasonably gleaned from available information (the ‘psychic general’), or succeeding despite doing incredibly moronic things (the ‘plot general’).

But demonstrating the commander’s skill in battle is necessary if you want your readers to believe that said character is a talented military leader, So, here’s what I’m looking at when I’m deciding how to build a military character.

Research

You should definitely research to help supplement your understanding. History is full of brilliant battles and capable soldiers of all ranks. There’s plenty of works used to explain the cultures of historical societies, how they viewed their military, and a wealth of information on what the soldiers of that society were like. If you’re willing to put in the time, you can build out a truly wonderful world, and learn something while you do it.

Figure Out Your Military

This is important, because the military that your character is a part of will determine the type of character. This means determining the technology and culture of the land where your character hails from. Those in turn will determine what tactics and strategies your characters will pursue. This isn’t just for your actual military character, as you presumably will need opponents and allies, and the strategic disposition of allies and enemies will determine what standard warfare is like.

This also determines the type of personalities that would be in your military. Certainly, you’re going to have a wide mix of personalities in every culture; no entity is a monolith. The attitudes of the culture and the military, however, will be a significant facet of any military character, just as every societal construct will be. A militaristic society is certainly going to have a strong culture in their military, but every society will have to handle national defense, and attitudes toward soldiers range from veneration to disdain.

Determine What Makes The Character ‘Good’

Now that you’ve outlined what standard warfare is like, it’s time to think of what makes your character exceptional, and why. Research is quite helpful here, to see great victories in the rough time period and technology level of your character. Obviously, one of the key things you need to do is to make that talent lead to victory in the field, but there’s plenty of ways to do this.

A good understanding and command of terrain is always a good start. Someone able to read a battlefield and quickly come up with positioning is certainly able to create success; successful generals throughout history have won through the ability to derive a strategy quickly. As does someone who can move quickly to bypass defenses using unconventional movement; this is best emphasized by Alexander the Great, which is what inspired GRRM’s writing of Daeron I and Robb Stark. Depending on your time period, logistics is another key military science, especially in the era of trains, where timetables and supply were critical pieces of a general’s education and taught at military academies.

Sun Tzu said that the greatest general “makes no mistakes” and “seizes victory where it is easily achieved,” so your truly great military character will be able to have a keen eye for weakness. If you want your general to look exceptional, show ways where the general is the one dictating the terms of the battle. Where it is fought, and when, are important, and a general who can force the enemy to do both at a time and place which are advantageous shows great talent.

Inspiration, the ability to lead, and the willingness of others to follow is a key component of the character, and it’s something I see overlooked in a great deal of amateur fiction. It takes a lot for soldiers to follow a poor leader, especially if the leader isn’t offering anything magnetic that makes them compelling, or even worse, ignores things that would turn a soldier off.

Avoiding Mistakes

To keep your character realistic and believable, avoid common mistakes when making a military character, including the ones I’ve mentioned above. Make sure to ensure the defeated have some of the same skills that render success in a military context. Blowout after blowout isn’t very interesting, and incompetent enemies lose their ability to menace a protagonist, which undercuts the tension significantly. Remember that antagonists are living characters as well, and an incompetent general might hold their posting in peacetime, but critical failures are going to see the incompetent general sacked or kicked to a do-nothing ceremonial posting.

Clearly have a plan for understanding how the general understands the situation on the battlefield and reacts accordingly. Keep communications technology in mind, learning information before it can reasonably be transmitted is a great way to fall into the psychic general trap, as is picking which option enemies will take when confronted with multiple choices.

Make sure you research period military tactics, successes and failures, to avoid the trap of the plot general. The technique I advise prospective writers is to outline the battle from start to finish and talk it over with others, so that they can highlight what makes sense and doesn’t from a military perspective.

Making the General a Character

Try to build these talents into the psyche and personality of the character. If war is a livelihood, performance will of course, be influenced by the character’s personalities and quirks, and performance will, in turn, have an influence on the personality and mood of the character; word choices, posture, etc. How the character reacts to military events in their life has tremendous potential for drama and emotion.

Consider small things like hobbies. Many boardgames are based off of warfare, and chess is considered the signature game for Western European strategists, as is shougi and xianqi. Cards are another very good choice for generals with the ability to read opponents. Cards are actually a better choice, because in cards, neither player starts in the same position (as with chess) and typically only knows their own information; they must deduce the incomplete information as far as possible and formulate a strategy accordingly. Dwight Eisenhower, for example, was an avid player of poker and contract bridge (funny story, my grandmother taught me bridge when I was 15 because she needed a fourth, and she said: “It’s not a game for old ladies; Ike played bridge!”)

When you get to higher ranks, officers become political creatures. In earlier times, military aristocracy meant that you had to be a political animal because that was your role in the society, in later times, politics is present in any large organization to include professional armies and navies. So mavericks that don’t play by the game don’t typically get promoted unless there is a crisis, and while brutal honesty and “straight talk” might seem like a military trait toward outsiders, the inside is often just as political, even clique-y.

Bringing it Together

Remember that wherever you start in building this character, you’re almost certainly going to have to go back and change things. Character building is a process just like plot building, so even if you have a single sentence to build off of that you like and want to make the core of the character, don’t be surprised if tweaks need to be made in order to flesh out the character. This is normal, and I should emphasize this, that does not mean that your original idea was bad! It got you there, didn’t it?

Thanks for the question, Overlord.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

#writing #worldbuilding #essays on writing and worldbuilding

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