#mostlydeadlanguages

[sumerianlanguage]

Congratulations & 𒂵𒈾!

Mostly this post is an excuse to show off my new check mark, because of COURSE I had to get it.

But I suppose I should announce that my sporadic posts are about to get even more sporadic, for a very good reason: I will be starting next month as a tenure-track professor of Hebrew Bible!

I still would not recommend going into ancient languages as a career; there are far far fewer jobs than there are brilliant people who want them. But somehow, miraculously, I managed to win one of the few ones out there. I feel absurdly lucky.

(And of course I also feel grateful to everyone who has interacted with my posts here; this blog made a huge difference in helping me to feel part of a community of ancient nerds! Love you all.)

[waytoobitofunction]

My fav historically accurate Good Omens fics

Ps. I such at summaries or uh explanations. But I loved all of them. That's what I can say.

Aaand I'll keep this updated as I read more. As one should.

1. Do You Know What Eternity Is? By Elderly_Worm

Probably one of my all times favs. Maybe my all times fav. Soooo long, Words: 373,711 Chapters: 606/606, but sooo worth it. Basically Aziraphale and Crowley through the centuries. The historical research 👨‍🍳🤌💋 Didn't really like the end but oh well, felt too rushed, maybe because in the latest centuries so much stuff happens in little time; still 9,9/10

2. DYKWEI extras by Elderly_Worm

What the title says, extended version of some scenes. Can be read as standalones.

3. The Ways We Loved by doyouwannadance

Inspired by DYKWEI. Cute them chatting.

4. Ark Gallery by Olfactory_Ventriloquism

Don't even have words for this one. I mean I have them but they're mostly nonsense like AAAHH CROWLEY... AJVDOSBWP, RELATED TO HIM TOO MUCH, KIKKED MY FEET A LOT AND WANTED TO SCREAM WHILE READING THIS.

5. Quisquis Amat or How am I Going to be an Optimist About This? by Olfactory_Ventriloquism

Set in Pompeii. Uh. Crowley is good with kids. Most of these are btw lol. YEAH LOVELY GO READ IT IF YOU LOVE THE ROMAN ERA.

6. Not Fall But Disembark by Olfactory_Ventriloquism

Short, focused around Aziraphale, loved the writing and also during this one wanted to scream a lot.

7. Literature and Liquor by Tossukka

SO. GOOD. THE JANE AUSTEN MINISODE WE DESERVED.

8. see, how the most dangerous thing is to love by theleftoveryou

This and the following one, cute one shots abt em during the war of Troy. Also lil patrochilles, not really fond of them but cute. Also everything else by this author is short and cute. Like me. Recommended 👌

9. A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages

Like... God I love people, and I expecially love people and history nerds like this author CUZ WDYM THEY WROTE IN CUNEIFORM ON A TABLET LMAO. It's this letter and uh yeah go read it I'm unable to explain ok.

10. Ineffable Fiction by Vulpesmellifera

Counts as historical cuz it's kinda in the past with Doyle but basically Crowley bmwrutes Sherlock AU and-the-U-is-their-U and Azi loves it.

11. Hot days mad blood by noodlefrog

Sosososo ... so. Ugh. Read it. They fight with swords.

I, carrion (icarian)

Found out that there are like 14 with the title inspired by this song, which fair, cuz, IT'S THEIR SONG I LOVE IT SM, but 14 is not so much ykwim...

1. don't fall away from me by cassieoh_draws (cassieoh), ilikeblue

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH. If possible, made me want to scream and/or cry more than the others. Angsty.

Non historical ones:

1. Side Mission by KannaOphelia

Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship. Basically they discover Warlock is not the antichrist two years before than in the serie aaaand go to Tadfield and stuff. I usually don't like this trope but this was cute.

2. Taking Steps by JoyAndOtherStories

Set in the modern day. Crowley and Aziraphale take dance lessons 🕺 �� 🕺 💃 🕺 💃

3. Factory Settings by anonymous

LITERALLY DON'T HAVE WORDS FOR THIS ONE, BEST ONE I EVER READ. EVERRRRR.

4. Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm

Crowley goes to therapy. I cried. No but seriously it depicts aspects of Crowley's trauma that are often so overlooked and uuuhh good. There's also one abt azi by the same author but idk the name atm.

[sumerianlanguage]

According to my knowledge, the Sumerians used double-hours and sexagesimal. A day was divided into twelve hours, each hour into sixty minutes, and each minute into sixty seconds.

The Sumerian word for hour is "Danna" (𒆜𒁍). Do you know what minutes and seconds were called in Sumerian?

Used a translator, there may be some grammatical or semantic problems. Please don't take it amiss.

Hello! From what I can find, a day (ud 𒌓) was divided into twelve hours, called danna 𒆜𒁍 (also written 𒁕𒈾). A danna was also a unit of distance, a bit less than 11 kilometers (6.7 miles), which was the amount of distance one could march in a danna (at a speed of 5.5 km/h, 3.4 mph).

However, this source on Mesopotamian measurements has the next smallest unit as an (Akkadian) geš, equaling 1/30 of a danna or four of our minutes. I can't find a source for what a geš would be in Sumerian though it may have been written with the signs MU.ESH 𒈬𒍑. But the paper in question (Kasprik & Barros 2020) isn't a NELC source and I can't find what source it even cites for geš. And I can't find any source for a unit of time smaller than a geš, corresponding to a second or certain number of seconds (but see below).

This system is made more complicated by the fact that often in Sumerian texts, especially early ones before the solidification of the danna time system, they would refer to units of time instead with units of volume measure, and dividing up a workday instead of a day. So a ging or "shekel" would refer to 1/60th of a workday, which Englund (1988) assumes is twelve hours, resulting in a ging of about twelve minutes. Smaller units of time would be fractions of a ging - so one of our seconds would be "1/720 ging". If you want a comprehensive and math-heavy analysis of this topic, I recommend Englund's article (though it requires Jstor access).

I hope that helps answer your question! For more on these units check out my Sumerian units tag and Sumerian time tag. And if anyone (maybe @mostlydeadlanguages?) knows of additional sources on Sumerian/Mesopotamian time units, let me know!

[chrononautintraining]

Fic Rec Friday - Short and Sweet

I like a four hundred thousand word epic as much as the next reader, but a well written short story can go so hard. Here are some of my absolute favorites in a thousand words or less.

radish roots by trickybonmot is just a shade over double drabble territory, and glorious. Domestic Wei Wuxian raising A-Yuan in the Burial Mounds, trying to give him brothers and sisters the way only the Yiling Laozu can. Absolutely beautiful.

Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It by Dira Sudis is a Marvel/West Wing crossover that I read a lot when it was published in 2016, a lot more in 2020, and will probably be revisiting again this year. For something that's only 900 words, it's strangely satisfying.

A Letter from "Crawly" to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages because sometimes fics are short enough to transcribe on clay tablets in cuneiform and that's the point. This is art.

What Makes a Hero by Elsajeni is a character study to explain a discrepancy between the Tolkien novel and the Hobbit movies. It is also rather more than that. Because some fans suspend disbelief and some fans patch the cracked things they love with gold.

Fruitful by Resonant may be my favorite piece of fan writing in all the world. In a brief description of Cheery Littlebottom's wedding and subsequent domestic bliss told from the point of view of Sam Vimes, this story makes explicit what was always implicit in the Discworld novels. Terry Pratchett might have written exactly this, in a world where he lived long enough to see how much it would matter. Perfectly executed in less than six hundred words.

[jawbone-xylophone]

please please please talk about yugioh shipping and thematic parallels I wanna know

[vibrates intensely]

Welcome to my ADHD sufferdome. There are no exits. I watched Yugioh like seven years ago, and I'm going into museum work because I am so mentally ill about Ancient Sumer in specific that I needed access to essays, textbooks, and journals on the subject.

This is mostly going to be copied from a Discord rant I did. Credit to @mostlydeadlanguages for their translation of Gilgameš's lament for Enkidu, I needed to explain to my friends quickly why this work is amazing and their translation delivered. Go read all of their stuff now, it's well worth it.

So. I had the stunning realization that Seto Kaiba and Yami Yugi are in a fucking Gilgameš and Enkidu situation.

Gilgamesh was called a god and a man; Enkidu was an animal and a man. It is the story of their becoming human together.

—Herbert Mason, The Epic of Gilgamesh

This is extremely literal. Gilgameš is two-thirds god (everyone is at least one third god), and Enkidu was made from the clay of the field to be raised by beasts.

Enkidu was made specifically to humble Gilgameš and make him a better king. Conversely, the journey to Gilgameš and befriending him serves to civilize Enkidu.

They're both still characterized by their backgrounds and approach any given problem from those perspectives, but by knowing eachother they make eachother better people, and understand what it is to be human.

So.

Let's look briefly at Yami Yugi specifically, because Seto is petty and Yugi isn't enough for him, and Seto Motherfucking Kaiba.

Yami, as this iteration of himself, starts existence utterly feral.

He's everything Victorian guilt has nightmares about, the trope of the Pharaoh's Curse given life, divine justice through the lens of Hammurabi's Code. Shadow and emotion and sadistic satisfaction, pulled along by the primal drive to protect his heart and uphold the laws of the shadow realm.

He doesn't introduce himself, he just starts breaking people and sending them to the asylum.

Then there's Kaiba.

He's also driven around by his metaphorical dick to some extent, highly emotional despite his professed attachment to logic, but he is for all intents and purposes a little tyrant god-king, ruler of a tech development company with enough spare time to pay assassins to collect trading cards for him.

The first few times they clash it's an utter nightmare, because they're the worst versions of themselves and Yami didn't even really have a metaphorical Shamhat to explain anything. He and Yugi don't talk for a while.

Yami uses Mind Crush on this asshole boy genius and probably doesn't expect him to come back, because nobody else has. Mind Crush shatters a soul and forces them to piece themself back together, tormented by illusions of whatever they're susceptible to. The first guy we see it used on was convinced he was swimming in money.

It's one of those "technically not an execution because they could totally get out of it" sentences that traps people in their own vices and nightmares.

And Seto Motherfucking Kaiba manages to wake up from this magically induced soul-searching coma.

But what makes it interesting is that he's still an asshole.

Theoretically, Mind Crush is supposed to force you to confront yourself. And Kaiba did that. And he's still an asshole. There are many reasons I love him.

So what did he fix?

Well, it's nobody else's business, is it? We just have to interpret that by watching the show.

So let's bring it back to the Epic of Gilgameš for a second.

The first time Enkidu meets Gilgameš, he's trying to use the king's right to claim any newlywed bride's wedding night. The bride and her actual groom are very unhappy with this idea, but Gilgameš is a king, two-thirds god, and won't take no for an answer.

So Enkidu tells him off and clocks him in the jaw.

Epic Shonen Anime levels of brawling occur, like a meteor struck the earth, for several days and several nights. Finally, they're both equally beaten and bloody on their backs in the street.

And they trade names. And Gilgameš welcomes Enkidu back to his own home to rest, because no one has matched him this way before.

Let's take a look at Yami and Kaiba.

The first time they really meet, it's about Yugi's Grandpa having a super rare trading card. Grandpa is emotionally attached to this card and not willing to sell it. Not for money, not for life or limb.

Kaiba wants that card like he wants air to breathe, though. He has more money than god and won't take no for an answer. So.

When bribery fails, when his nice mode fails, it's cutthroat business time. Defeat and destroy. He rules a technologically superior gaming company, after all.

Kaiba beats Grandpa at a card game beefed up with enough holograms to give the man a heart attack, and then destroys the card. If he can't have it, no one can.

This pisses Yugi off, which wakes up the Pharaoh, and Yami proceeds to play the game, hand Kaiba his own ass, and Mind Crush him.

Something about these two situations seems very similar to me, and the way they then evolve from this to rivals is fascinating.

Kaiba refuses to believe that Yami is some sort of magical ghost, but he can believe that Yami might be better than him at this one thing, and this is intolerable. I'd almost be tempted to compare his determination to some approximation of bushido, he just has to beat Yami. Granted, this is tempered with other priorities- his brother, spitting on his dad's grave, etc- but it's respect. And Yami respects him back.

Technically I'd be willing to call Yugi the Shamhat to Yami's Enkidu, the one that teaches him the value of friendship and using your words like a person instead of a vengeful ghost. No, their only female best friend does not count At All. She honestly seems kind of incidental to any of their internal character development, and in particular Yami and Yugi's connection to eachother.

Yugi's the one who convinces Yami to stop Mind Crushing people.

All of this culminates in the end of the show, where Yami remembers who he is and moves on to the afterlife after a final duel. But it's not against Kaiba. It can't be. He duels Yugi, the other half of his heart and the only one who could truly defeat him.

In some ways, he dies because he learned how to be mortal again. Because Yugi taught him, all over again, how to be mortal.

(The same way that Shamhat, perhaps, could be seen as responsible for teaching Enkidu the same thing. She brought him into the world of men, just like Yugi solving the puzzle and bringing Yami into the light. Is it any wonder things ended the way they did?)

And Kaiba can't take it.

Yami was his. He had to defeat Yami. He couldn't give a rat's ass if Yugi was the one to defeat Yami, thereby taking the title of the King of Games, that's not the point. It's not about beating the strongest person anymore, no matter what he tells himself, it's about dueling Yami, perhaps the first person he ever saw as an equal.

So he tries, in his own way, to deny death and bring him back.

This is @mostlydeadlanguages 's translation of the Lament for Enkidu.

Listen, young men. Listen to me.

Listen, elders of great Uruk. Listen to me.

I weep for my friend Enkidu;

like a grief-stricken woman, I howl in despair.

The shaft at my side, the bedrock of my strength,

the sword at my belt, the shield before me,

the clothing for my festivals, the sash on my pleasure:

A fiendish force sprang up to snatch him from me.

“My friend, stubborn as a mule, nimble as a donkey, swift as a panther —

oh Enkidu, my friend, stubborn as a mule, nimble as a donkey, swift as a panther —

We were the ones who joined together to scale mountains, who captured and killed the Sacred Bull, who vanquished Humbaba, king of the Cedar Forest.

“So what kind of sleep steals you away now? Darkness cloaks you; you cannot hear me.”

Yet still [Enkidu] did not lift his head.

He felt for his pulse: utterly still.

He veiled his friend’s face like a bride; like an eagle, he circled over him.

Like a lioness robbed of her cubs, he circled back and forth, back and forth.

He tore at his curly hair until it piled up around him; he stripped off his finery and cast it away as anathema.

They said to Gilgamesh,

“Why do your cheeks look sunken, your face gaunt?

Why is your heart broken, your appearance wrecked?

Why does your gut churn in despair?

Why does your face seem so world-weary?

Why do you look scorched by sleet and sun, prowling the wilderness, dressed like a predator?”

Gilgamesh said to them,

“Why wouldn’t my cheeks look sunken, my face gaunt?

Why wouldn’t my heart be broken, my appearance wrecked?

Why wouldn’t my gut churn in despair?

Why wouldn’t my face seem world-weary?

Why wouldn’t I look scorched by sleet and sun, prowling the wilderness, dressed like a predator?

“My friend, stubborn as a mule, nimble as a donkey, swift as a panther —

Enkidu, my friend, stubborn as a mule, nimble as a donkey, swift as a panther —

We were the ones who joined together to scale mountains, who captured and killed the Sacred Bull, who vanquished Humbaba, king of the Cedar Forest, who killed lions in the mountain passes.

“My friend, whom I love fiercely,

who accompanied me through every trial —

Enkidu, my friend, whom I love fiercely,

who accompanied me through every trial –

The fate of all humans has vanquished him.

“For six days and seven nights, I wept over him.

I could not give him up to be buried.

Only after a maggot dropped out of his nose did I […]

“I prowl the wilderness because I’ve become afraid of death.

What happened to my friend was too heavy to endure,

and so I prowl the roads, world-weary.

What happened to Enkidu, my friend, was too heavy to endure,

and so I prowl the paths, world-weary.

“How could I keep quiet? How could I, of all people, fall silent?

My friend, the one I love, has turned to clay.

Enkidu, my friend, the one I love, has turned to clay.

Am I not like him? Will I not lie in rest, never to stir again, forever and ever?”

The worst part of it is, Yami is dead and there is no body. Yami is dead and his body is alive. Yugi's there, walking and talking and laughing, and Yami will never be behind those eyes again. There isn't even a funeral.

Kaiba has never had to mourn before. He killed his own asshole father. Anytime someone kidnapped his brother or stole his brother's soul, he could just get the kid back. With extreme effort, but it was possible. He has money, resources, his youth, and his intelligence. They've gotten him everything he wants before. He should be able to bring Yami back.

But he can't.

His friend, whom he loves, has turned to clay. Just a carving in a tomb, just a line in a fulfilled prophecy, his story over. And that's the end of it.

Perhaps worse still, Yami was never made for Kaiba- he was always one half of Yugi. In some ways the second they met he was already leaving, and the second he was "born" he was already dying. Kaiba, no matter how you want to read it, fell in some kind of platonic or romantic or otherwise love with a dead man, the same way Gilgameš fell in love with the tool made to keep him to heel. And that man needed to die. That tool, eventually, needed to be used to teach him his final lesson, and the man who ruled the world suddenly had nothing at all. The sun still shone, the birds still sang, but his friend had turned to clay.

[transcript: The corpse sinks to the floor... the vessel becomes sand, becomes dust... even the brightest gold, even the sharpest sword... is wrapped in the sheath of time... woe to the pharaoh, for his body lacks even his name... time is the battlefield of souls... I cry the song of battle, the song of a friend... to the place far away where our souls meet... guide me...]

In Yugioh, the protagonists have lived before. Kaiba and Yami-and-Yugi were High Priest Seth and the Pharaoh Atem respectively, and Seth also had to bury his friend. They were significantly more emotionally available to eachother, from what I can tell, so it didn't have to be couched in the safe distance of "I just want to duel you for the rest of my life". The above is what he wrote to commemorate Atem's death, and it is implied that even in Seth's current incarnation as Kaiba, staunch disbeliever in magic and souls and merrily frolicking through meadows, his determination to duel Yami even in the throes of his own madness was some part of his soul yearning to connect with Atem in this new life. Even if that connection was based on elaborate traps and death threats, but hey. We all start somewhere. Enkidu and Gilgameš had a vicious street brawl.

What Enkidu didn't know, though, was that Gilgameš was waiting for him. Some part of the king knew, and was waiting, and was dreaming of a change to his life so extreme that it would fall on his land like a meteor. He had to visit his mother and ask for dream interpretation, because really, what do you conclude from a front row seat to the idea that an axe will fall into your hand, that fits your grasp like a lover and all the world will envy?

Honestly, this is why connections doomed by the narrative are so much fun. Yes, you're going to learn a hard lesson and the force of your grief will eternally alter the brain chemistry of an ADHD nerd six thousand years hence. But it's worth it anyway, because your best friend might be clay, but he'll be clay six thousand years hence and some ADHD nerd will fervently shanghai a group call to tell the story over, and over, and over again.

Don't forget to visit that translator's Tumblr page, their stuff is really cool.

[mckitterick]

[ ID: A photo of two cuneiform tablets entitled, "A Letter from 'Crawly' to Azirapil," by AO3 user mostlydeadlanguages, with a summary:

This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. "Crawly," it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown. /ID ]

just found fanfic written on clay tablets in cuneiform and then the pictures were uploaded to ao3 the good omens fandom is insane

[cobalt-knave]

@mostlydeadlanguages

This is from Stargate SG-1. It's meant to translate to "What fate Omoroca", and I was wondering if it does. (I think your Good Omens fic is epic by the way. A real delight!)

[aziraphales-library]

Do you know if anyone has done anything with Crowley and Ea-Nasir? (You know, the guy in Mesopotamia who would sell people sub-par copper and had a roomful of clay tablets complaining about him?) I need this for reasons.

I found three! They all have Ea-Nasir tagged as a character, so I hope at least one of these is what you might be looking for!

A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages

This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown.

Complaint to A-Ziraph, On the Matter of Some Clay Tablets by toadstar

The ancient Cuneiform complaint tablet to Ea-Nasir has spawned multiple fanfics. Let me be the first to write a Good Omens crossover.

People Will Say We’re In Love by giddyant

Crowley and Aziraphale wander through history being massively, obviously in love.

~Mod P

[sisterofiris]

Happy Pride Month!

Here is a selection of posts I’ve made on topics pertaining to LGBT+ history. Bear in mind that some of these were written quite some time ago, when I was less well informed than I am now, and I might word them differently in hindsight. I hope they’re still interesting enough and show that LGBT+ people existed in the ancient world too.

On Gilgamesh and Enkidu’s relationship

Homosexuality in the Ancient Near East (including a link to a conference)

Lesbian and bisexual Ancient Greek poetry

An Ancient Greek transgender person (cw: potential misgendering due to contradictions in how the person refers to themself)

Inanna’s genderqueer priesthood

How to write your name in cuneiform as a nonbinary person

Artemis as an aromantic asexual in ancient texts

For the Ancient Near East specifically, I highly recommend @mostlydeadlanguages​ who has a queer history tag full of interesting content.

Also, here are a few novels set in the Late Bronze Age, and one in the Iron Age, which feature same-sex attracted characters. Sadly, I’m not aware of any with characters of other LGBT+ identities (let me know if you have some recommendations!). Note that I haven’t read all of them, so I can’t vouch for their quality.

The Troy series by David Gemmell (two women, one man)

The Boudica series by Manda Scott (apparently multiple men)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (two men)

Circe by Madeline Miller (multiple men)

I The Sun by Janet Morris (two men; cw for sexual abuse of women)

The Amazon Chronicles by Jane E. M. Robinson (apparently at least one woman)

[trailingoff]

Good Omens fic recs: No story left behind

I hope everyone is safe and well. Here’s some fic to enjoy in quarantine! This reclist covers everything I bookmarked after posting my previous sixteen lists: June and earlier, July first half, July second half, August first half, August second half, September first half, September second half, October first half, October second half, November first half, November second half, December first half, December second half, January first half, January second half and February, all from my AO3 bookmarks.

G-rated

cars don't talk back by asideofourown

Gabriel and the Great Goose of Terror by NotaChicken

A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages

The Plantom Menace by theinkwell33 (part two of The Cryptid Chronicles)

The Principali-tea Protocol by theinkwell33 (part one of The Cryptid Chronicles)

T-rated

A Few More Rescues by poetic_nonsense

Hot Days, Mad Blood by noodlefrog (part one of Close Enough to Human)

So Still I Wait by HotCrossPigeon (part four of Hurt!Aziraphale Stories)

Two Minutes by mikkimouse

M-rated (possibly NSFW, depends where you work)

dream to me by weatheredlaw

On the Line by Gigi_Sinclair

Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture

E-rated (18+ and NSFW)

Acts of Service by seekwill

Exposed by LollipopCop

Good Neighbours, Good Fences (and Other Misunderstandings) by out_there

one more lovely little crisis by poetic_nonsense

Possession and Other Hauntings by robynthemagpie_writes

Unrated (remember to check the tags)

The Mistakes Were Made series by eag has been posted out of chronological order, and I think it can be enjoyed in any order. There’s an unfinished story, but don’t let that deter you from reading the rest. Be transported back into ancient times!

1. Mistakes Were Made: The Epic of Gilgamesh by eag

2. Mistakes Were Made: The (Babylonian) Story of the Flood by eag

3. Mistakes Were Made: 41 A.D. by eag

4. Mistakes Were Made: The Tale of the Shipwrecked Angel by eag

5. Mistakes Were Made: The Symposiums by eag

[runawaymarbles]

Good Omens Fic Rec pt. 4

Full list here

A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages | 500 Words | G

This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown.

So You Need To Get Into A.Z. Fell & Co.; Now What? (A Guide For Unfortunate Bookworms) by arkhamcycle | 1.8k | G 

London’s antique enthusiasts and rare lit nerds alike know that if you’re looking for a specific vintage or antique book, you have a good chance of ending up in A.Z. Fell & Co. as a last resort. And if you’ve ever been in (or are currently in) this predicament, you know how much of an absolute nightmare it is trying to even get in the door. Luckily, this handy guide, the fruit of a months-long collaborative effort to create the perfect formula for gaming the A.Z. Fell system, will tell you everything you need to know, complete with a comprehensive breakdown of what, exactly, the opening hours are. Compiled by pageknight and inky of the Rare Antique Forums.

the bookshop nemesis witch by FlipSpring | 5k | T

The life and times of Nicole Percival Castings, Witch. Featuring: her ongoing love/rivalry with a particular magical bookstore, an Eccentric(TM) shopkeeper who keeps a huge snake in aforementioned bookstore, finding oneself and one's magical power, the cyclicality of life.

it's a new craze by attheborder | 5.5k | G |

CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan. AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all. AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous. CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

A Nice and Accurate Lesbian Herstory Archive by badwig | 7k | T

6000 years of dyke drama.

Where Thou Art by Mottlemoth | 7.5k | M |

A late-night bus to London, a few human comforts, and a long overdue confession... nothing will ever be the same for an angel and his demon.

The Gospel of Crowley by gutterandthestars | 10k | T

Crowley tempts Jesus in the wilderness! Turns out Jesus gives as good as he gets. Also Crowley pines over Aziraphale and has Big Gay Angsty Feelings because, well. Because Crowley.

A Nanny? In MY Summoning Circle? by pukner | 10k | Not Rated

(it's more likely than you think) Warlock "Lockie" Dowling summons a demon. Or, he buys a book off a suspiciously familiar bookseller and is convinced into demon summoning. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

The future's going to break through by nieded | 10k | T 

My take on South Downs: Aziraphale and Crowley decide to become professors. This is inspired by the headcanon that Crowley has 20 different degrees. He is the Serpent of the Tree of Knowledge after all.

Something to do with these sacred words by Solshine | 11k | T

Crowley confesses early, and Crowley confesses often. Aziraphale never knows quite what to say.

Basking by bomberqueen17 | 15k | NC-17

Crowley is extremely confused about how or whether celestial beings can experience physical sexual desire. He's also not fantastic at using his words. Things go all... snake-shaped.

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan | 17k | NC-17

"All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?” Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval. "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."

in search of the wind by drawlight | 27k | NC-17

After the World Doesn't End, Aziraphale is not returned to his body. Crowley tries to find a way to get to Heaven's fast-shut gates. Aziraphale tries to find his way back from the sky (and back in time).

[fremulon]

Good Omens Fic Roundup: Fics that Fuck with Format

So I wanted to highlight some great examples of one of my favorite genres of fic: stories that unfold using a medium other than traditional narrative! All of these fics are incredibly creative and manage to tell a story without any “telling” at all. From Youtube comments to Buzzfeed articles to Tumblr posts, here are some of my favorites!

A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages

This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown.

In Holy Matrimony by Myracuulous

From the private journal of Alisha Jones, wedding planner, concerning the nuptials of Anthony J Crowley and Aziraphale and the planning process thereof, containing an account of chosen decor, guest list construction, and the holy war against the Antichrist that nearly ruined six months of professional organization and a very nice dinner.

Crowley Invented Youtube Recommended (Parsley, Thyme, Sage, Daffodils remix) by flibbertygigget

After Aziraphale's video on crêpes makes it into Youtube recommendations through a little demonic intervention, he quickly goes viral. Cue college students just trying to make it work, a bunch of young queers who see A.Z. Fell and his husband Anthony as "goals," and quite a few comments from one Newton Pulsifer.

Adventures In Attempting To Purchase A Book From That Weird Old Soho Bookshop, A. Z. Fell & Co. by Quandtuniverse

A rare book collector posting on a niche internet forum is dismayed to discover the last missing book is only available at the best worst bookshop in London.

So You Need To Get Into A.Z. Fell & Co.; Now What? (A Guide For Unfortunate Bookworms) by arkhamcycle

London’s antique enthusiasts and rare lit nerds alike know that if you’re looking for a specific vintage or antique book, you have a good chance of ending up in A.Z. Fell & Co. as a last resort. And if you’ve ever been in (or are currently in) this predicament, you know how much of an absolute nightmare it is trying to even get in the door. Luckily, this handy guide, the fruit of a months-long collaborative effort to create the perfect formula for gaming the A.Z. Fell system, will tell you everything you need to know, complete with a comprehensive breakdown of what, exactly, the opening hours are. Compiled by pageknight and inky of the Rare Antique Forums.

Sometimes the cards just fall perfectly. by qwanderer

warlocktbh: You seem pretty levelheaded, wtf are you doing on a supernatural experiences discord anyway? Just here to play devil’s advocate?

pippin_galadriel_moonbabe:Ugh, I would never. I’ve met Satan and he was disgustingly entitled.

warlocktbh: I actually can’t tell if you’re messing with me rn or not.

lest they be angels in disguise by Raven (singlecrow)

Buzzfeed, July 2019, "Top Five Off-the-Wall Theories About the Scary Instagram Plant Man"

it’s a new craze by attheborder

CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan. AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we? CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all. AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous. CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

***

Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

stand on the brink of the warm white day by appomattox

hdjngjjbg you guys earlier i was waiting at the bus stop just outside a bookstore and the owner, a little upper-middle aged man who gives off immense gay vibes, walked by on his way in and just. handed me a bag of fun size almond joy????

Wherein: Aziraphale is a Confirmed Immortal.

[sumerianlanguage]

hi! do you know any blogs that could translate a short phrase from Aramaic?

I feel bad asking you just for directions lol, you are very cool

Hi, and thanks for the kind words! I don't know of anyone who specializes in Aramaic, though @mostlydeadlanguages might be able to point you in the right direction. Or, if anybody out there can help, please let us know!

[bookflail]

https://www.newswise.com/articles/gwu-professor-translates-ancient-inscriptions-discovered-at-the-site-of-machaerus

@mostlydeadlanguages @sisterofiris

I'm tagging y'all because I'm excited for my friend and former professor and I need to share with people :D

[heliophile-oxon]

I absolutely love it when you see someone create fiction rich with the writer’s own in-depth and detailed knowledge of a subject, with the skill to show us our beloved characters being utterly themselves in that world. (why yes, I am looking at you @sineala. I would also be looking at @londonronnie but they’re not on tumblr afaik. And I am in lost-for-words awe of @mostlydeadlanguages)

Shout out to fanfic writers who write their favourite characters into incredibly specific niches like complex academic studies or horse taming or the intricacies of the fashion industry or historical politics just because they love it. I do in fact want to learn about your niche interests disguised as a slash fic, thank you

[ao3feed-goodomens]

A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xz3eBF

by mostlydeadlanguages

This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown.

Words: 486, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), Mesopotamian RPF

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Ea-Nasir (Mesopotamian), Abraham (Bible)

Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Epistolary, Academia, Possessive Crowley, Mesopotamia, Cuneiform

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xz3eBF