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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 1 year

Text

play with fire

pairing: ethan landry x female!reader

WC: 1.7K

warnings: stabbing, blood mentions. should be it.

summary: intermission to act three

A/N: wrote this in one day so that may explain why it might suck and not make sense at parts. also had this song on repeat as i wrote and was inspire by the ethan edits that used this song.

@alecmores 💗 (even tho they hate me for this one)

been in the drafts since may 6

masterlist / ethan landry

🎧 play with fire the red means i love you beast

the subway stations of new york were always packed and busy with rushing bodies, but with it being halloween, it was doubled and worse with people wearing costumes. many wearing the ghostface costume, and it felt like they all had eyes watching your little group of friends.

you are stuck near the back with ethan by your side and holding your hand. your group of seven was on the way back to the abandoned theater to lay a trap for ghostface and end this shit before more people die. you just gotta get through the next few stops in a crowded metal tub and hope you aren’t picked off one by one.

you could barely hear anyone over the loud talking and screeching of wheels. the crowds started to get thicker and your hand slowly slipped free from ethan. you stood still as your head swiveled left and right trying to spot his head of curls over the crowd. you pulled your phone from your back pocket and tried calling but you had no signal. with one more look around you finally spotted him with mindy who looked pissed by his mere existence, her guard never dropping around the boy, sticking to the thought of him being a ghostface.

you push past people, saying “excuse me” or “sorry” only a few times before not caring. you saw ethan’s head looking to where you saw mindy stalk towards and then his eyes looked around frantically.

you walked up behind him and grabbed his bicep. he jumped at the touch and turned around, his eyes alert, but melted away once he realized it was just you.

“was wondering where you went.” he pulled you into a hug. an excuse to have you close so as not to be separated again.

“where’s mindy?” ethan jerked his head to the left and you saw mindy who leaned forward and watched the two of you. you waved a hand for her to come back, but she shooed the two of you away.

“what’s up her ass?” you grumbled. you felt the shake of ethan’s chest from his chuckle and could faintly hear the melody. “still thinks i’m ghostface.” he spoke beside your ear as he rubbed your back.

moving your face away from his chest, you looked up at ethan whose eyes dimmed just a little at the thought of his friend not trusting him. “well i don’t. and mindy is always judging people, it’s the ‘horror expert’ thoughts.”

ethan flashed a quiet smile, it was there and now it’s gone. you tugged his chin with two fingers before pulling him in for a distracting kiss. as you pulled away you kissed the tip of his nose before turning in his arms, back to his chest. the two of you, plus mindy, just waiting for the next train.

it finally pulled up after a few minutes and you moved with the crowd. mindy continued to stay away from both of you and you narrowed your eyes toward her. “isn’t it best to stick together?” you would have asked her if you could move without someone elbowing your ribs. ethan and you weren’t too far from mindy who leaned against a door as she stared down at her phone. ethan held the metal bar that was attached to the ceiling while you stood in front of his chest with your hand grasping the metal pole beside you.

everyone was swaying with the momentum of the train going and then stopping. some people would get off then more people would crowd the small space. you could barely see mindy at this point and you still had multiple stops to make. you leaned your head on ethan’s chest and focused on his heartbeat, it sped up just a bit and you smiled tenderly.

“i wish you stayed home.” you heard ethan beside your ear. his tone was a bit strained.

with a tilt of your head, you stared into his eyes. his honey-brown, homey eyes. made your insides melt like ice cream on a hot summer day and your legs turn to jelly. “if we stick together, our chances are higher. plus, i can’t leave you. rather get a few cuts and bruises than worry a hole into my floor about your well-being.”

you let your free hand play with ethan’s curls. his eyes closed at the sensation, at your touch. you loved the pull, the power you had over him. the hand moved from his brown tresses and slid to hold his cheek in your palm. pushing up on your tiptoes and dipping your eyes to his lips, ethan closed the distance. he let go of his backpack strap and slipped it around your waist and tugged you in closer.

noses were pressed to cheeks, lips were getting slick with spit and hands were leaving burning touches. you hummed into ethan’s mouth as he got a bit brave and moved his tongue into your mouth. you snaked your arm around his neck and locked him in place, not wanting the moment to end anytime soon.

you saw the flickering of light behind your closed lids and even with your hearing picking bits of ethan’s moans, you could tell no one would hear a thing. releasing the pole, you wrapped your fingers around the sturdy handle and slipped the knife from your pocket slowly. you made sure to keep the weapon concealed as you decided to take a breath.

glistening lips only an inch away, breaths fanning over the skin and smiles beaming, and eyes shining like stars in an open sky. you kept ethan close. “i love you.” you whispered, but knew he heard you.

“i love you too. can’t wait for this to be over.” and ethan moved back in.

you smiled into the kiss as did your boyfriend. it did have to end, but you wish the relationship didn’t. all part of the plan though as you reminded yourself from backing out.

with ethan distracted, you took the plunge and sunk the gleaming knife into his abdomen. you heard his gasp and felt his mouth move. you made sure to keep him enclosed with your arm still tight behind his neck as you swallowed his grunts of pain.

“it’s okay. it’s okay, baby. the worst hasn’t even happened yet. just breathe.” whispered to his ear as you pushed his head onto your shoulder. you felt his arm flex and his hand grabbing the material of your shirt.

“y/n…” your name was a cry from his mouth. the one you kissed just a second ago. you had to shut the sound from your mind. “i wouldn’t scream for help. kinda noisy.” a hard edge to your voice before dropping it and switching back to airy and light.

“you know,” you kept talking to continue the look of a normal couple being sickly in love on the subway, “you were supposed to die in the apartment, but i couldn’t do it. i love you way too much for you to go in a brutal way. plus i wanted to spend our last moments together and in fantasy.” you petted his hair.

you tugged the knife upward, ripping his stomach open. ethan’s groans of pain were muted by the chatter and music playing from a radio. you placed kiss after kiss to his temple. wanting him to know that you cared for him deeply, but the plan always came first.

“i’m sorry, ethan. you weren’t originally part of the plan, but then anika changed her mind. some bullshit about how if her love interest dies, mine should as well.” you rattled away. you made a pass of the car, no one was paying you any mind. not even mindy.

“now,” your voice dropped lower, “you may be wondering, ‘why are y/n and anika ghostface?’ well simply put, boredom… maybe a psychotic.” at the word psychotic, you twisted the knife and you groaned as ethan sank his teeth into your shoulder.

“it’s fine, baby.” nails scraping his scalp, “i know you hate me, i know. and i understand. i would hate me too. i just want you to know,” turning your face closer with your lips brushing the shell of his ear, “our whole relationship… it was one hundred percent real. every kiss, every touch. every word i moaned in bed or shouted when drunk. the whole nine yards.”

your eyes got teary and the people around you got blurry. your heart ached, felt like it was starting to sink to your stomach. while your brain was telling you to man up and finish the job. you slammed your eyes shut and heaved a shaky sigh. you didn’t want the lecture from anika about weakness.

“y/n…” ethan’s breath skated over your neck. you just hummed as you rubbed his shoulder blades. “i’m just… disappointed.” his chest was heaving with each word. “but i still… love you.”

the announcer prepared everyone for the stop. with tears sliding down your cheeks you noticed an empty bench behind the two of you. with ethan leaning on you, you pushed both of your bodies backward until his knees bent and he slumped down. you sat on his lap to cover the knife and blood staining his blue polo.

“i have to meet our friends at the theater. don’t want to be late for the big show.” lips meet his moist forehead. “i have to pull the knife out just before the stop. but if you would just allow me…”

you tilted ethan’s face back to yours. his skin was losing a bit of color and his lips were being stained a light red from the blood pooling in his mouth. “one more kiss?” you dived in before ethan gave a nod or a noise. your smooth lips clashed with his that was beginning to pool with blood. you moaned at the taste and scent. fingers curling tight in his coils.

the loud screeching of wheels was followed by the sway of bodies. and then you heard the swoosh of the doors opening and the thundering of multiple footsteps. you yanked the knife out and pushed off ethan’s lap. joining the swarm of moving bodies and blending into the crowd even though you guessed mindy still wasn’t paying any mind. you couldn’t help the smirk that appeared out of thin air when you thought of the fate she was about to meet at the hands of quinn. you immediately headed out the exit and up the steps.

time for act three.

...

tags: @astrxq

#Ethan Landry #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry blurb #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry angst #ethan landry fluff #ethan landry x fem!reader #ethan landry scream 6 #Scream VI #Scream 6 #scream 6 imagine #scream 6 x reader #jack champion scream 6 #Jack Champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion image

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chaotic-mystery · 1 year

Text

Jaded | J.M.

ꨄ Pairing: bfd!Joel x f!reader

ꨄ Summary: It’s been rocky between you and your secret boyfriend who just so happens to also be your best friends dad, ever since you moved to a new city without him. Surprising him for his birthday probably wasn’t the best idea, for either one of you.

ꨄ CW: established relationship, age gap (Joel’s in his late 40s, reader late 20s) swearing, mean!joel, arguing, Joel saying stuff he doesn’t mean like usual, no outbreak!au.

ꨄ WC:2.6k

A/N: am I an asshole for leaving it the way I did? Maybe. We all knew it was coming though! This honestly broke my heart and I hope it reads how I envisioned it. Let me know what you think! 🖤

🝮Songs to listen to for this🝮

Jaded - Miley Cyrus

Sucks 4 U - Sophie Cates

Complicated - Avril Lavigne

Look After You - The Fray

Over You - Daughtry

About You - The 1975

“Joel..” you muttered with your eyes still closed, your arm extending out to the other side of your bed. Slowly blinking your eyes open and sitting up, you breathed in deeply as you looked around confused. There was no reason you should’ve been calling out his name considering he hasn’t come to see you in weeks. Joel was older, it was unrealistic to think he’d text you many times during the day. He preferred calling or coming to visit when he had the weekend off. The past few weekends he decided to stay home which didn’t bother you, but he didn’t call much either. If he did call, it was short and brief, like it was a chore. Joel used to lay the phone on his bare chest, your voice on speaker while he dozed off listening to how pretty you sounded. That hasn’t happened in months.

You hurried to find your phone on the floor, texting Sarah as fast as your fingers could type.

Hey! Are you guys doing anything for your dad’s birthday this weekend?? Should we drive to see him?

Minutes that felt like hours passed and you bit at the inside of your cheek in nervousness, dying to see her response.

I heard from Uncle Tommy they were throwing a surprise party, but i won’t be able to make it home this weekend, soccer game! Feel free to go tho, I’m sure he won’t mind you taking my place! Love ya xo

Your thumb brushed over the side of your phone as you reread the text about a dozen times, contemplating the idea of going. What if he didn’t want to see you? Could you handle that amount of rejection? You needed answers from him though, what happened to him where he felt comfortable treating you like a stranger? Fuck it.

In a matter of 30 minutes you managed to get every single detail from Tommy, your bag packed and GPS routed to Joel’s house. It seemed a little crazy, a spur of the moment trip to drive 4 hours to confront the man who was trying to ghost you. As you got in your car and your playlist blaring through the speakers, you gave yourself a small pep talk, bracing yourself for whatever was about to happen tonight.

———————-

Finally you arrived at the Millers house, Joel’s truck nowhere in sight. You parked a few houses away so he wouldn’t see your car if he took the same route he always did to get home. Tommy pushed the screen door open and greeted you with his arms open and a grin on his face, a kitchen towel over his shoulder. “Well well well, she does live!” Tommy joked with you and grabbed your bag from your hand, walking up the sidewalk to the house. “Alive and well, just fucking starving and I need a shower before I get dressed.” Your arms wrapped around his torso and hugged him tightly. Tommy knew about you and Joel, he knew not to tell Sarah or lead on to anything going on between you and Joel in front of her. “Well c’mon then! Get your shit and let’s go inside, fix ya somethin’ to eat. Joel’s at work but he’ll be here after. All your shit is still upstairs so go on while I make you something I can find in this god forsaken fridge.” Tommy shouted from the kitchen as you shut the front door. Birthday decorations scattered across the walls and the floor, balloons tied to the lamps. Joel always told you to not make a big fuss over his birthday but you and Tommy never listened. Surprise parties were your thing you did for him, so it was nice to see Tommy continuing the tradition. This would make surprise party number three for Joel since you started dating him, and it stung a little bit you didn’t think to come down and plan one for him regardless if he deserved it or not.

You walked up the stairs to Joel’s room, pushing the door open slowly before poking your head in. It smelled just the same, the cologne you got him mixed with the faintest hint of laundry soap that he swore up and down was the best. Tossing your bag on his bed and sighing deeply, you ran a hand through your hair as you wondered what the hell were you doing here.

I miss you! Can I see you this weekend, maybe grab a bite at that favorite restaurant of yours down here? You hesitated to hit send, your heart racing in your chest.

Too nervous to sit and wait for his response, you stripped and made your way to his bathroom. The hair soap you swore you left was nowhere to be found. There was Joel’s sitting on the shelf, so what happened to yours? They were pretty full and Joel didn’t like to use yours. A pit grew in your stomach, the confusion eating at you. As you stepped under the warm water, your tears started to flow freely. It was like Joel was slowly erasing you from his life, piece by piece. For what?

You washed your hair quickly and grabbed the body soap and your wash cloth. Your eyes couldn’t help but flick down to where your soap bottles used to sit, anger coursing through you. If he wanted to see other people, he should’ve just been fucking honest. As you dried off and started to get ready, your mind replayed everything that could’ve caused this. Your relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, you fought almost daily a few months ago before he stopped calling so much. It would be over nothing, just Joel being stubborn. He’d bring up your age and how you’d get bored of him, how he’s not the man you want, how you resent him for not wanting to move with you, stuff you’d never say about him. He was the one that was embarrassed of you. He never wanted you to meet his friends, and when he got tired of your begging and pleading, he finally took you out with them to the bar. That was a fucking joke you thought to yourself as you recalled that night from a year ago.

“Joel what the fuck was that? Why didn’t you call me your girlfriend when you introduced me to them?” you questioned as you got out of his truck in his driveway. You slammed the door shut and he groaned loudly from inside the vehicle, climbing out reluctantly. “The hell are you on about? I told ‘em we were datin’, is that not good enough?” He loved doing that thing where he’d spin it back on you and make you feel so stupid for even bringing it up. “Oh my god, no It’s not like that! I just wanted to know why you didn’t tell them I was your girlfriend and have been for a year!” you bursted through the front door and threw off your purse, tossing it to the ground. “Well excuse the hell outta me! I thought it was the same fuckin’ thing!” he shouted, following you through the house to his room. “Why does it matter so much to you? If you’re with me, what’s it matter, huh?” Joel's hands grabbed your arms and forced you to look at him, his face riddled with confusion and anger. “Because, Joel! I love you and you’re fucking embarrassed to show anyone that!” The hot tears were streaming down your face as you tried to fight him to let go. His face finally softened and he sighed. “Baby…”

That was so long ago and here you were now in his room, finding out the man you thought loved you had maybe not wanted you anymore. Finally zipping up your dress, you fixed your hair one last time and checked your makeup. Something came over you and told you to open the bedside table you used to call yours, wondering if anything was touched. The cool wood brushed over your knuckles as you grabbed the knob and pulled gently, bracing yourself for whatever could be in there. All of your old pictures of you two were in a pile, scattered like someone was digging through them from time to time. The one that was your favorite was all the way at the bottom. It was of Joel, in the ocean and he looks gorgeous. That was your first vacation together, you both went to go see Sarah’s soccer game and you snuck away together while she was at practice to go swimming. He told you he’d help you learn how to swim so he took you out so far you almost couldn’t touch and helped you get over your fear of drowning. “I won’t let that happen, ok? I gotcha sweet pea. Don’t be scared, I’m here.” You recalled how his arms wrapped around you and you felt so safe. He looked so ethereal, like he wasn’t real.

You closed the drawer and found your phone buried under your towel on the bed, checking to see if maybe Joel messaged you back. Nothing. There was nothing. A sigh of frustration left your lips and you walked out of Joel’s room, looking for Tommy downstairs. He was in the kitchen getting the drinks and snacks out. “There you are! I made ya a grilled cheese but it got cold, thought ya fell asleep up there girl, been almost two hours.” Tommy’s eyes met yours and he noticed you weren’t your normal self. He gave an apologetic smile and rubbed your back softly, “Cmon, we’ve got about fifteen minutes ‘fore he gets here. Help me with the cake?” You gave Tommy a small smile and nodded, reaching to open the box the cake was in. You both were careful not to bump the box on it and set it on the table for everyone to see. His house filled up rather quickly with people while you were upstairs for those couple hours, which to you felt like minutes.

“Everyone get down, he’s here!” someone shouted from the living room and suddenly the lights went out, leaving you standing in pure darkness. Tommy tugged your arm and you snapped out of the transe you were in, crouching down in front of the kitchen table. The front door swung open and there he was, your man. The broad shoulders on the silhouette made your breath hitch and your knees weak. Immediately the lights went on and everyone popped out shouting happy birthday. Joel’s face lit up with a smile and the little confetti poppers went off, small rainbow bits of paper cascading down to the floor in front of him. He was met with many hugs as everyone crowded him, leaving you by the table by yourself. You couldn’t bring yourself to go up there to him, not in front of all these people. Small conversations were forming as Joel was finally making his way out of the clump of bodies, his beautiful brown eyes locking with yours.

“H-happy birthday.” you stated quieter than you wanted. His arm dropped to his side as his smile slowly faded, walking over to you. “What’re you doin’ here?” Joel asked harshly. Was that all he had to say? A lump grew in your throat and your mouth went dry. “Tommy um, Tommy invited me.” Great, now you were stuttering and tripping over your words. Joel was now toe to toe with you, his expression not changing. “Oh” he muttered sarcastically and nodded. Tears stung your eyes at his cold tone and you knew you couldn’t deal with this all night. “Listen, I’ll go if you want me to, just tell me…but if I walk out that door Joel, we’re done. I can’t do this anymore and by the looks of it, you don’t want to do it either. You’ve practically hidden every single memory of me or gotten rid of it and for what?” your eyes were overfilled with tears as they threatened to spill from the outer corners and Joel's head snapped away, his jaw clenching at the silence you shared.

“Yeah, I want you to leave. We’re done.” He didn’t even have the fucking decency to look at you when he said it, when he plunged the knife into your heart. There was nothing more you could say to him to see how hurt you were, how much you wanted him to beg you to stay. You wanted him to tell you why he’d been acting this way for months and why he felt so comfortable acting like you meant nothing to him after three years. You pushed passed him and ran up the stairs to gather your bag. He didn’t deserve you, and that was so clear now. He didn’t deserve all the late nights you stayed up with him and assured him Sarah wouldn’t find out about you two. How many vacations you took him on just to get him out of Texas. He didn’t deserve all the brand new things you introduced him to. Most importantly, he didn’t deserve the amount of patience you had with him. He was as stubborn as a fucking mule, but not once did you ever think about giving up on him like he was doing to you right now.

Mascara was running down your face as you practically sprinted to your car, your bag flailing behind you. You dropped your car keys trying to unlock your trunk and you lost it. You leaned against the trunk with your hands covering your face, sobbing your heart out. You gave him everything, you gave him all of you. “Wait, don’t go..” Joel shouted out of breath as he ran down the sidewalk. You looked up at him through blurry eyes, that burning anger igniting in your stomach once more. “No, fuck you! I’m leaving. I told you if you let me walk out that door we were done and what did you do? YOU LET ME LEAVE!” your voice echoed between the houses but you didn’t care anymore. “You’re nothing but a selfish asshole, Joel. I should’ve known better than to think you wouldn’t break my heart. Fuck you, just go.”

His arms engulfed you and you beat your fists on his chest, crying harder than you were before. Joel’s grip on you tightened as he pulled you in close, shushing you quietly. “Stop, just stop. Shhh” he whispered and petted the back of your head softly. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, sweet pea. I think I just got so busy with work and you with getting adjusted in your new place, we were like ships passing in the night.” Joel’s hands cupped your face, his thumb swiping away your tears. “You don’t just give up and act like I don’t exist Joel! Why would you do that to me?!” you demanded and looked at him through tear clumped lashes. “I thought it was easier for you! Jus’ let me prove to you I can be a better man to you, darlin. Please, I need you. I’ve been so lonely without you.” Joel’s tone softened as his voice cracked, a tear falling down his face.

“This is what I’ve been wanting to hear for months. I need some space. I can’t keep doing this shit, Joel. Happy birthday.” You placed a photo of you and him in his hand that you swiped from the drawer earlier. A croak of your name left his lips before you walked away and climbed into your car. You looked at him one last time in the rearview mirror as he stood there staring at everything he just fucked up. He needed to sit with what he’d done, and you had a lot to think about on your drive back home.

#joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x you #the last of us #bfd!joel #bfd!joel miller #this killed me #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller angst #pedro pascal characters

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hamsterclaw · 1 year

Text

Touch

Taehyung's lonely in his misery, until he meets you.

Pairing: Taehyung x f! reader

Rating: 18+, minors DNI

Warnings: Explicit sex, swearing, mentions of chronic pain and illness, injury, legal drug use, implied drug addiction - please heed the warnings!

Word count: 5.9k

Taehyung’s knee burns like a live fire, points of pain sparking at random points in his leg as he moves. His face, when he glimpses his reflection in a mirrored pillar in the convenience store, is impassive as usual, apart from the tightness in his jaw.

Taehyung’s no stranger to pain but it’s starting to wear on him. It’s been months since the injury, man versus mech, him jumping in front of a cabled vehicle to pull some wide-eyed kid out of harm’s way, the unsecured corner bumping him on the way down, twisting his foot and hip in opposite directions.

He winces a little at the memory, the wrench that had followed. The kid had been worried, accompanied him to the hospital where Taehyung had discovered the kicker, that his insurance had lapsed the day before. The poor kid had offered to pay, Taehyung would have laughed if the kid hadn’t been so damn sincere and upset about it.

Jungkook was his name, and he’s been by Taehyung’s to hang out most weeks since then and Taehyung’s had no regrets about wrecking his knee to save him because it turns out the kid’s a real sweetheart.

Getting his knee treated had wiped out most of his savings, but it’s not like he had some grand retirement plan or anything, he’s in his twenties still and he’s not even sure if he’ll live to see this decade of his life out, not the way things are going now.

Taehyung tosses apples into his basket, a pack of those cartoon panda shaped biscuits Jungkook likes, tea and ramen and he’s all set. His knee’s close to buckling on him by the time he leaves the store, Taehyung takes a moment to lean against the cold glass, suck in a breath that doesn’t feel like it’s making him any more oxygenated.

His knee’s stiffening up now, having co-operated thus far, thankfully he’s only a block away from home.

‘Hey, you want a hand with anything?’

The person who’s stopped in front of him’s looking at him carefully. ‘You look like shit.’

Taehyung drags in another breath, releases it in a bark of laughter that sounds rusty even to him.

‘I hurt my knee,’ he explains.

‘You want me to call you a ride? Take you to the clinic?’

For the first time, Taehyung looks at the person who’s stopped, who’s still standing in front of him.

‘It was months ago,’ he adds.

You’re sympathetic, the soft expression on your face at odds with the way you’re dressed, all in black, lug-soled stomper boots that make Taehyung’s toes feel vulnerable though his feet are fully enclosed.

You hold out your hand. ‘I can carry your apples.’

Taehyung looks at you, debating whether to trust you, and you let out an impatient snort. ‘I’m not going to rob you, for fucks’ sake, not for shitty ramen and panda snacks.’

Taehyung laughs, hands you the sack of groceries. ‘I hate panda snacks too, I get them for my friend.’

You hoist the bag over your shoulder, and Taehyung says, ‘I’m a block that way.’

Truth is, he’d be leaning on you if you let him, his knee’s singing an opera of pain so loud he’s surprised he can hear anything over it.

You walk slow like you can sense it, don’t try to make conversation.

You stop at the foot of the open stairwell to his tiny apartment.

‘Fuck, bruv, you’re a sucker for pain, aren’t you?’

Taehyung’s surprised into a laugh. ‘It’s only been three months since I fucked my knee,’ he tells you.

‘How’d you do it?’ you ask.

‘Got hit by a cable car,’ he tells you.

You push your hair back away from your forehead. In the light of the stairwell, he can see you better. Bright eyes, lips that are lush and shiny with gloss. In your stomper boots you’re almost as tall as him.

Taehyung holds out his arms for his bag. ‘Thanks.’

‘I’ll walk you up.’

‘It’s gonna take an embarrassingly long time for me to get up those steps,’ Taehyung confesses. He drops onto the third step, tries to straighten his knee but it’s locked up, stiff.

‘You can leave the bag here,’ he says. ‘Thank you.’

You drop the bag next to his feet, and then you ask, tentatively, ‘May I?’

Taehyung looks up at you in surprise.

You ease yourself onto the step next to him, close, your thigh touching his, and then reach for his pants leg. There’s the crinkle and snap of a heat pad, then bliss as you press it to his swollen knee.

Taehyung tries not to make any sound, he doesn’t want to make it weird, not when you’re sitting close to him like this, when your head’s so close to his he can smell your shampoo, but the relief is so great he could cry.

It’s then that you turn to him, as he’s deciding on what to say. ‘Leave it on for a bit, ok?’

You reach into your own bag, pull out an ampoule of medi-gel.

‘Rub this in after. You’ll be able to get up the stairs then.’

Taehyung wants to ask why you have such a well-stocked bag, what your name is, which heavenly realm you descended from, but you’re already standing, shouldering your own bag.

‘Good luck,’ you say. There’s the slightest curve of your lips, a moment of eye contact profound enough to make Taehyung’s heart do a funny double beat, and then you’re gone.

***

Taehyung’s not addicted to the pain pills they give him at the clinic, it’s not an addiction if you’re using the way big pharma intended.

He’s a man in pain and he needs pain relief, he doesn’t think he needs to explain it to anyone. Especially not to Jungkook, who can’t decide whether to look away or to watch him carefully whenever he reaches for the container on his kitchen counter.

It never makes it into the drawer where all the cold remedies and multivitamins are because what’s the point when it comes out every six hours anyway?

Sometimes the last hour before the next dose lasts a lifetime, and sometimes, honestly, Taehyung doesn’t have the wherewithal to wait. It’s bad today, the throb of torn cartilage, the ligaments that are supposed to have healed by now. Even his skin feels like it’s on fire, vessels beneath the surface dilating, bringing the heat, making everything swell.

Taehyung’s knee brushes the side of the couch as he limps along to sit, and he screams into the back of his fist, takes a moment to regain his breath.

There’s something pressing against his thigh as he lifts his leg up, he shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out the medi-gel you’d given him. He snaps it open, pours it over his knee, rubs it in, sinks back.

Maybe he blacks out for a bit, he’s not really sure, but when he comes back into his skin the vice grip the pain had on him has eased to a loose grasp. He stares at the ‘V’ shaped crack in the ceiling until he’s opiated enough to consider moving on with his life.

The shitty tasks of everyday become like insurmountable tasks, get whittled back to survival needs, on bad days like this.

There’s a knock on the door, an automated voice announcing the arrival of a package. Taehyung gets up to answer, testing his theory that the painkillers have kicked in.

He’s glad they have, because he opens the door to you. The lower half of your face is hidden under your mask, the ball cap casts a shadow over the rest, but he’s been thinking about your eyes a lot these last few weeks and it’s definitely you.

You recognise him, your eyes crinkle over the black fabric border and Taehyung’s not sure how you can look so pretty with almost all your face covered but you do.

‘Hey, apple boy,’ you say in greeting. ‘How’s the knee doing?’

You hold out the box you’re delivering for him to take.

‘The medi-gel you gave me helps,’ Taehyung replies.

You hold out the pad for him to initial. ‘It’s not expensive, and it works.’

You name the pharmacy that stocks it, shove the pad back into one of your cargo pockets, against your thigh, ready to go.

Taehyung asks, ‘hey, can I get you a drink?’

‘I’m on a strict time schedule,’ you say, with what looks like a flash of regret in your eyes.

‘What about later, after you clock off?’ Taehyung asks.

You tilt your head, considering. ‘I’m catching a midnight showing at the Electric tonight. Want to come with?’

***

The Electric’s buzzing, lights blazing, and Taehyung’s got a clear view of you walking up to meet him.

You greet him with a casual wave and a bright hello and Taehyung wonders if he’s in trouble here because he barely knows you and you shine, to him.

He wants you to like him and he never really cares what people think of him, not really.

He asks, ‘what are we watching?’

You’re scanning your chip at the door, waving him in ahead of you.

‘It’s an old sci-fi movie,’ you tell him. ‘People had some pretty fantastical ideas of what the future would be like back in the day.’

‘I like sci-fi,’ Taehyung says honestly.

‘I like the Electric,’ you tell him. ‘The seats are like beds.’

You’ve been leading him down the ramp, and Taehyung sees what you mean.

The two adjoining seats are huge, reclined backs, footrests that go up all the way.

‘I used to come here a lot,’ you say, settling in next to him. You look over. ‘Sometimes I just sleep.’

Taehyung climbs in next to you, stretches out with a grunt of pleasure.

‘All good?’ you ask.

Taehyung’s laid back, head against the seat rest, hood up.

‘Mmm,’ he murmurs, because you’re waiting for an answer.

A smile curves your lips. You reach into your bag, rustle around and toss him a pack of crispy puffs.

‘Enjoy.’

The movie’s something ridiculous that Taehyung can’t suspend his disbelief enough for, so he spends the time watching you instead.

The flicker of blue light across the planes of your face, the way you bite down on your bottom lip during suspenseful moments. The fall of hair across your face.

He falls asleep watching you.

When he wakes, the lights are up, and you’re looking at him, a smirk on your face that causes a stirring in his groin.

‘Come on, big boy, time to go home.’

Taehyung’s knee throbs, a steady pulse accompanying the rush of blood in his veins as he walks alongside you.

The nights are dark these days, since the 24 hour power restrictions came into effect most residents opt to go lights out when the sun sets. It makes it easier to hide the way he winces as he hobbles along.

You say, ‘My bike is down here.’

You unplug the charger to your bike, climb on, tilt your head to the space behind you.

‘Fuck walking,’ you say. ‘Get on, Taehyung.’

Something about the way you say his name makes Taehyung feel at ease. You don’t really know each other but there’s a familiarity to it that doesn’t feel unwelcome.

Taehyung hesitates over where to put his hands, a problem you solve by wrapping his arms around your waist.

‘Is that ok?’ you ask, like he’s going to complain.

‘If it’s ok with you,’ Taehyung answers.

You go slow, easy on the cobblestones, your bike like a quiet cat purring through the darkness. You take turns with a gentleness that Taehyung’s grateful for. The wind rushing past is balmy, sticky with summer heat.

You pull up round the side of his building almost before he’s realised it.

‘Thanks for coming out,’ you say. ‘Sometimes I can’t sleep.’

‘You can always come over if you can’t sleep,’ Taehyung offers. The words are out before he’s thought about them, but he means them. He smiles at you. ‘I don’t sleep much.’

‘Your knee will get better,’ you say. You smile back. ‘Sounds dumb, I know, but the pain goes.’

You laugh, short. ‘Or you get used to it.’

You read the expression on his face as he wonders what you know about the chronicity of pain.

He doesn’t get a chance to ask you about it, because you’re off, waving a casual hand as you climb back on and drive off.

***

The waiting room for his physical therapist’s office is plain, utilitarian, and Taehyung appreciates it.

There’s enough going on in his head without the background being jarring too.

Beside him, Jungkook’s bouncing around without seeming to bounce around. The kid’s a ball of energy, even when he’s sitting still he looks like he’s vibrating with movement.

‘Hyung,’ he says, pointing to the window he’s just pulled up on his tablet. ‘It says swimming is good for injuries like yours.’

‘We can go swimming,’ Taehyung allows.

Jungkook’s buried his nose back in the screen. ‘Do you take multivitamins?’

Taehyung’s saved from uttering a thorny retort that would make Jungkook look at him all bug-eyed and hurt, by the arrival of his therapist.

Jungkook’s waiting outside when Taehyung finishes his session. ‘Hyung. Hyung.’

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. There’s only two years between them, but he can’t stop thinking of Jungkook as younger than he actually is. Injury or no injury, Taehyung doesn’t think he’s ever possessed Jungkook’s wide-eyed enthusiasm for anything.

‘Yes, Jungkookie?’

‘There’s a pharmacy a few doors down, they stock that medi-gel that helps you. Can we go?’

Jungkook bounds ahead as they walk down the street, pushing the door open to the pharmacy just as Taehyung catches up.

The two people in the store look up, perfectly framed by the rectangle of the doorframe. There’s the person behind the counter, handing you a crisp paper bag, and then there’s you.

You look surprised, then pleased, as you see him.

Taehyung doesn’t think he’s imagining it.

‘Hey,’ he says, warmly.

‘Taehyung,’ you reply. You fold up the paper bag, slip it into your messenger bag. You look at Jungkook to find he’s already staring at you, mouth slightly open.

‘You must be Jungkook.’

You introduce yourself to a suddenly-shy Jungkook, step closer to Taehyung.

You look good with your hair loose like this, Taehyung thinks. He’s about to tell you when Jungkook finds his voice.

‘Hyung talks about you a lot,’ Jungkook says. ‘It’s nice to meet you.’

You look amused. ‘He told me about you too, Jungkook. He said you like panda snacks.’

Jungkook’s embarrassed, like that fact would ever stop anyone from wanting to sleep with him.

‘They’re ok,’ he replies, casual.

Taehyung catches your expression, bites back a smile. ‘We’re going to eat after this, are you free? Would you like to come?’

‘Sure,’ you agree easily. ‘Is it far? I can’t fit both of you on my bike.’

‘It’s close,’ Jungkook says. ‘We always go there.’

Taehyung can hear you and Jungkook talking as he picks out packs of medi-gel, stacks them on the counter, swipes his chip to pay.

He’s feeling pretty good these days, his knee still hurts like a son of a bitch but there are more good days amidst the bad.

He walks with you and Jungkook down the street to the noodle bar, amused at your patient indulgence of Jungkook.

He looks up to find you’ve caught him admiring your ass.

‘Like what you see?’ you ask him, cool.

Taehyung tilts his head. He’s aware what he looks like, he hasn’t felt attractive in a while but he’s never had a problem finding someone to flirt with.

He lifts his chin at you. ‘Yeah,’ he says, serious, low. ‘You’re really pretty.’

Jungkook’s watching your conversation, open-mouthed.

‘Thanks,’ you say. ‘You guys are pretty too.’

Jungkook blushes but it’s Taehyung you’re looking at, and he’s looking right back.

***

After the meal, you offer Jungkook a ride home on your bike which Taehyung already knows the kid isn’t going to accept because although he’s a little shit, he’s a shy little shit and the idea of being wrapped around you is probably just about enough to make him cream in his pants.

Which is how you end up walking with Taehyung back to where your bike’s parked.

‘I had a nice time,’ you say. ‘I can see why you fucked your knee to save Jungkook.’

Taehyung laughs. ‘I didn’t know him at the time. Knowing him now though, I would do it a hundred times over.’

You’re leaning against the wall in the alley, smiling a little as you look at him. ‘You’re a sweetheart, Taehyung.’

Taehyung takes a step closer, giving you time to move away if you want to.

Instead, you reach out, tug at the lapels of his jacket gently.

Taehyung comes willingly.

There’s a split second before your lips meet when you close your eyes, and Taehyung thinks to himself how pretty you are.

Then you’re kissing him, and he stops thinking at all. You’re soft, and warm, and you fold into him like you were made to fit him.

It’s you who licks into his mouth first, like you want to taste him, and Taehyung relishes the little whimper that spills from your lips when he tastes you back.

When you pull away, it takes him a moment to get his breath back.

Taehyung can’t remember when he slipped his arm around your waist. He can’t remember a damn thing right now apart from how much he liked kissing you.

Your hand’s on his chest, against his heart. Taehyung tugs your hand up, presses it to his lips.

You press another kiss to his cheek, and Taehyung’s a split second away from turning his head, offering you his lips again, when you pull away.

‘I’ll see you, Taehyung.’

Taehyung doesn’t have it in him to do anything but nod as you get back on your bike to go.

***

The party’s hosted by one of Jungkook’s friends, a guy called Yoongi who runs a mech spare parts business down in the tech village.

Taehyung’s seated in a booth by the bar, staring at his reflection in the dirty mirror opposite.

He’s made an effort with the way he looks tonight, it’s been a while since he bothered but you’d promised to come so there’s that.

A lock of hair’s fallen down over his forehead, Taehyung brushes it back absently, scanning the room.

He spots you next to Yoongi.

You’re deep in conversation, dressed in your usual black on black, boots strapped on.

Yoongi pours you a drink when yours is done. Your body language is that of people who’ve known each other for a while. Yoongi says something that makes you laugh, and Taehyung’s chest feels tight because it seems like you’re familiar.

Your eyes, like his, scan the room, and he knows the exact moment you spot him.

Yoongi’s looking at him too, like he’s worried Taehyung might be some unsavoury guy. Like he feels responsible for you.

Taehyung doesn’t want to seem eager but it’s a different man from him who’ll watch you walk toward them and not get up.

You greet him with a bright smile and a lazy hug, arms slung around his shoulders.

‘You look good, Tae,’ you tell him almost shyly.

Taehyung slips his arm around your waist, a bold move for him. There’s a heart stopping moment where you hesitate, and then you’re curving against him.

You’re smiling at him, face close to his, and Taehyung’s heart’s beating so hard he’s worried you can feel it, pressed into his side like you are.

‘How’s the knee?’ you ask.

‘Better,’ Taehyung says, and it’s true. It’s going to be a while before he can run, but walking to the store isn’t the mammoth task it was.

The pain’s better every day, and mercifully, the memory of it is fading too.

‘Seen any good movies lately?’ he asks.

You tilt your head, considering. ‘I haven’t. Maybe we can go together next time?’

‘I’d like that,’ Taehyung says. He’s now aware of your breast pressing against his chest, the soft weight of it sending his senses into disarray.

‘Want to get some air for a bit?’ he asks.

He hadn’t intended anything apart from being able to talk more quietly, but as soon as you’re outside you tug him against a wall and kiss him.

It’s sweet, fiercely arousing, and Taehyung’s drowning in you. He cups the back of your head, not wanting you to hit the wall as he tilts his own head to kiss you more deeply.

‘You’re so pretty,’ he murmurs as he drags his lips against yours. His voice has dropped low the way it does when he’s aroused, and he can see the way you shiver at the tone of it.

‘Tae,’ you sigh, and damn if the way you say his name, like this, doesn’t send blood shooting straight to his cock.

He’s hardening with every pass of his lips over yours, with the way your hands are fisted in the lapels of his jacket, keeping him close.

You moan, wriggle against him, and Taehyung doesn’t want to rush you, but he’s not sure he can trust himself to stop.

He doesn’t want your first time to be outside this club.

‘Want to come home with me?’ he asks. ‘We don’t have to do anything, we can watch a movie or something.’

You bite your lip, look down at the ground.

‘Taehyung, I should tell you —-‘

You’re interrupted by Jungkook, more than a little tipsy, giggling his way towards the both of you.

‘Hyung, hyung,’ Jungkook chirrups, and Taehyung can’t snap at him, not when Jungkook looks so genuinely happy to see him.

‘I should go,’ you say. There’s a heaviness to the tone of your voice, Taehyung’s concerned but he doesn’t get a chance to explore it.

You wave at Jungkook and slip back into the club.

***

Taehyung’s slipped outside to get some air between calls at work. He sees you in your now-familiar monochrome, ducking into storefronts with packages, emerging with less items each time.

For a while he just watches you. You’re quick, efficient, not stopping for niceties at each place, mindful of your strict schedule.

His phone vibrates, and it’s you.

‘Hey,’ you say, your voice a low drawl through the line, enticing. ‘If you’re gonna watch me, you might as well help.’

Moments later, you’re standing in front of him.

You hand him the package for his workplace, tap for him to sign.

Taehyung asks, ‘When do you get off?’

You flick through tabs on your tablet. ‘Probably an hour.’

‘Wanna come over? We can chill at my place,’ Taehyung says, before he can talk himself out of it.

You don’t make him wait for an answer. ‘Yeah. I’d like to,’ you say.

It’s more than an hour, more like two before you come to his, but Taehyung doesn’t care.

He’s rarely in a hurry for anything.

You sit at his kitchen counter whilst he makes you tea. He sees how your eyes go to the container of pain pills almost immediately.

He’s tapering off his use, going longer stretches without, and he feels good about it.

It doesn’t have to be on the counter anymore but he likes the security of knowing it’s always there, just in case.

He feels like he can’t say nothing, even though you haven’t asked.

‘I don’t need those so much anymore,’ he tells you. ‘They’re just —- like security, you know?’

You take a moment, two, to respond, and when you look at him there’s a faraway expression in your eyes. Then you snap into focus.

‘Yeah, I get it,’ you say. You lay a hand on his arm.

Taehyung puts your tea down in front of you.

‘I had bone cancer as a kid,’ you say, suddenly.

Taehyung doesn’t know what he expected you to say, but it wasn’t this.

‘It was in my leg, I know what it’s like when every step feels like you’re climbing a mountain,’ you say.

You’re looking at his pain pills again.

‘You should put them away, Tae,’ you say. You gaze at him. ‘You’re strong enough.’

Taehyung doesn’t know how he manages it, but one moment he’s across the counter from you and the next he’s leaned over, close enough to kiss you.

His aim’s pretty good. You only have to lean forward the tiniest fraction to kiss him.

Kissing you is as intoxicating as all the other times.

You end up against the fridge, making the vintage magnets clatter to the floor as Taehyung kisses you again and again.

Your hands flutter along his back like you can’t decide where to put them.

It’s been a while since he’s slept with anyone, but Taehyung’s pretty sure he’s reached a whole new level of horny. He pulls away to catch his breath, leans his forehead against yours, willing his boner to cool its jets before it takes off in his pants.

Your hands are still stroking along his back, and Taehyung’s trying his hardest not to arch into your touch and whine like a puppy being scratched, but it’s a close run thing.

You ask, rather sweetly, if he wants to cuddle, and Taehyung ends up spending the night talking to you about nothing in between kisses so drugging he feels like he’s opiated again.

In the morning he wakes to a space on the couch the shape of you, the smell of coffee and early sun streaming through from the kitchen.

He misses you already.

***

Taehyung’s called you twice before heading into this club, but you haven’t picked up.

He’s been thinking about you, more than he’d like to admit, since you left his apartment that morning. He wants to know more about you, he wants to watch dumb sci-fi with you. He wants to watch you be sweet to Jungkook and make him blush.

When he walks inside the club, the first thing he sees is you.

Not the you of his fantasies though, where you’re smiling at him, and only him.

This is a you who’s dressed for attention, and you have it. Yoongi’s standing in front of you, like a human barrier between you and the rest of the club.

Taehyung watches, frozen in place, unable to hide the dismay on his face as you put your hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. His hand moves to your waist to steady you as you adjust your boot. It lingers even after you have both feet back on the ground.

Like the other day, the interaction between you screams of intimacy.

Taehyung heads straight for the bar. He passes you on the way. Is it just wishful thinking that he thinks he hears you call his name? He doesn’t look around to see.

***

Taehyung knows the woman sitting close to him, practically in his lap, is interested in him. She’s a friend of Jungkook’s, Taehyung would tease him about how many women want to be his friend but honestly, the kid just seems to attract people everywhere he goes.

He’s got a good aura about him.

Taehyung puts a hand on the woman’s thigh to steady her as she wobbles precariously, almost sliding to the floor.

She smiles at him, sultry, sexy, pretty, but he’s not in the mood for flirting right now.

She leans over him, like she’s going to whisper something in his ear, and Taehyung looks away.

His gaze meets yours.

You take in the way he’s still got his hand on the woman’s thigh, the way her face is buried in his neck.

Your face is a blank but there’s a spark of something in your eyes.

He can see your lips move but it’s hard to hear over the pounding bass, the rush of blood in his ears.

Taehyung wants to get up and talk to you but he’s taken too long.

You’re gone.

***

Taehyung isn’t sure what he’s doing here, outside your apartment. He’s only been here once, when you met him after work one day, and even then it was only for ten minutes so you could get changed.

His thumb’s on the bell, and he’s so high off hard liquor that the harsh buzz of it doesn’t bother him at all.

There’s a rustling behind the door, and then it opens.

You peer around the door, and there’s something about the way you look, worried, almost fearful that makes Taehyung’s heart drop.

Fuck why did he think it was a good idea to drop by your place unannounced, buzzed, at 3am?

He’s apologising, stumbling away.

The door clicks shut, and Taehyung keeps walking.

Then it opens, and you’re next to him.

You’re shorter than you usually are, he’s never seen you barefoot before.

Taehyung stares at your feet.

Your foot.

The other is prosthetic, steel, up to the knee, where your shorts stop.

You’ve helped him into your apartment, closed the door behind you both.

There’s a twist to your lips, defiance in your pretty face.

‘Like what you see?’ you ask, voice hard.

Taehyung’s most of the way to sober from the shock.

You turn away.

‘You can take the couch,’ you tell him. ‘You’re too drunk to go anywhere and I’m sure as hell not walking you home.’

He says your name, but you’re not having any of it.

‘You can see yourself out in the morning,’ you say.

There’s an infinitesimal pause, like you’re waiting for him to say something, and for once in his life, Taehyung rushes to speak.

‘Wait.’

He doesn’t know what he wants to say, but he can’t let you leave him like this, on the back of a misunderstanding he couldn’t come back from.

‘I didn’t know,’ he says.

Your expression doesn’t change, your voice is still guarded.

‘I was going to tell you.’

‘You don’t have to tell me anything,’ Taehyung says.

‘My parents had a choice to save me or my leg when the cancer started spreading,’ you say. You wave a hand, and Taehyung hears the words in his head even though you haven’t spoken them.

Here I am.

You’re still standing, like you’re facing off with him across your living room.

‘Yoongi made my first prosthetic,’ you tell him. ‘He sourced all this top of the line shit, had it imported, made it all himself, and he wouldn’t let me pay him, the asshole.’

You laugh, dry. ‘He probably feels guilty because we were dating when I got sick.’

‘He stayed with you?’ Taehyung asks.

‘Nah he dumped my ass,’ you say, but you sound more affectionate than anything else. ‘I got sick when we were 14.’

‘He looked like he wanted to come for me tonight when he saw me,’ Taehyung admits.

You sigh. ‘Why did you come here, Tae? Did you think I was going to fuck you?’

‘I wasn’t thinking about that,’ Taehyung says, honestly. ‘I just —-‘

He runs a hand through his hair. ‘I just didn’t want you to think I was some asshole after you saw me with that woman.’

‘I don’t think you’re an asshole,’ you tell him. ‘Well, I didn’t think you were until you turned up here like this.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Taehyung says. ‘I — fuck. I like you.’

The words hang in the air between you.

You’re looking at him carefully.

‘You’re drunk,’ you say.

Taehyung watches as you disappear down the hallway and come back with a blanket and pillow.

‘My clothes won’t fit you,’ you say quietly, placing the items on the couch. ‘There’s a spare toothbrush under the sink.’

You say, not looking at him, ‘There’s no hard feelings, ok?’

‘You didn’t know about —-‘ you gesture to your leg. ‘This.’

You meet his eyes. ‘It’s late, we should —-‘

‘Can I kiss you?’ Taehyung blurts out.

‘Don’t.’

‘Do you not want me to kiss you?’

‘Not right now,’ you say.

‘Ok,’ Taehyung says. He tries for a smile. ‘Thanks for not kicking my ass to the curb.’

You’re a step away from him.

One movement, and you’ve closed the gap between you.

‘Do you want to kiss me?’

‘More than anything,’ Taehyung tells you.

***

Thinking back, Taehyung’s never really sure if you kissed him or if he kissed you, but he’ll remember that night for the rest of his days.

How warm you felt in his arms as he kissed down your neck, across the top of your chest.

How your breasts felt in his hands, full and swollen from his mouth on them, nipples peaked, shining with his spit.

How you cried his name as he slipped his hand under your panties to touch your core.

How he was so damn hard he thought he might come from the slightest brush of your hand over his aching cock.

How he eventually did come, sheathed inside you to the hilt, filling you up, giving you all of him.

He’s thinking about it now as he watches you sleep, and he’s hardening again, cock jumping to attention even though all he can see of you is the top of your head on the pillow next to his.

He’s tenting the sheets, erect, sticky with pre-come, wondering what the hell he’s going to do about it when you turn over.

‘Want me to do something about that?’ you ask.

‘Fuck, yeah,’ Taehyung says.

He helps you straddle him, hand over yours as you brace yourself on his chest.

He groans as you lay his cock flat on his abdomen, glide your cunt over him.

He can feel you getting wetter as you move, sliding along his cock.

Like this, your breasts sway deliciously, tantalisingly close to his face.

Taehyung lifts his head, sucks a nipple into his mouth, tongue licking the tip.

You moan prettily, skin gleaming as your hips rock over his.

Taehyung moves his attention to your other breast until you’re whining his name.

‘Let me in,’ he says, voice low, thick.

You lift your hips, line him up and drop onto his cock. Taehyung groans at the feel of you around him.

He grasps your thigh, reaches around to squeeze your ass, and you gasp, high and breathy.

‘Tae!’

Taehyung bucks his hips up into you, grinding hard, trying to hit that spot inside you that makes you cry out and clench around him.

‘Taehyung!’

‘I’m here, I’ve got you,’ he vows.

He thrusts again, hard, deep, and you squeal and gush all over him.

Taehyung stays buried inside you, cock as deep as he can go, and comes so hard his vision tunnels.

All he can see is you.

***

Taehyung’s waiting for you to finish work and meet him outside the Electric.

You keep him waiting all the time but he never really minds.

And there you are, walking around the corner from where you parked your bike, casual and so pretty it makes his heart hurt.

‘I got us popcorn, baby,’ he says.

‘Yeah?’

Taehyung reaches for your hand.

You stare at your intertwined fingers.

‘What are we, fourteen?’ you mutter.

Taehyung shrugs. ‘You want to hold my dick later, you have to hold my hand now.’

‘Who says I want to —‘

Taehyung lifts a brow at you, and you cut yourself off.

‘Come on,’ he says, urging you on. ‘We don’t want to miss the beginning.’

©hamsterclaw 2023

#taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #bts smut

310 notes · View notes

soaps-mohawk · 2 months

Note

hiii!!!! im back girliee :) sorry i fell of the face of the earth for a little bit. no pressure to answer this fast its not super important lol

the last few chapters have been so delectable!!! love getting kyle action but also ghoap/gazsoap/ghostgaz was YUM!!!! 🤤🤤 I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to get back to the camera/Simon's bond conflicts too tho lol 😅

haven't been able to play much COD recently due to being busy :( (+ I've been playing The Last Of Us and I may be a bit obsessed with Joel Miller.....I really need to stop playing multiple video games at once lol) (also actively playing Genshin Impact)

I HAVE FUN HEADCANNONS

idk where this idea came from but I have a headcannon that the TV in the rec room is just lowkey the worst. Old, slow, and the base is out in the middle of nowhere so it limits a lot of their TV options.

Don't have streaming because it requires a payment/subscription and something about not being able to hook it up to an account/being on a military base/not safe to have clues to their money or personal lives (I know nothing about the military forgive me). They do have cable but because their base is in the middle of buttfuck nowhere they get only the strangest, most low-production channels out there.

I saw a youtube video a while ago about a British reality TV show where a female contestant is shown a bunch of dicks, nothing else, and she has to decide who she'd want to go out with based on that alone 😂😂 it was completely uncensored, so dicks would just be fully hanging out there. that's the type of shit that they get on the cable in the rec room LMFAO

feel like the only option for personalized TV/movies is the old DVD player hooked up to the TV (that was there when they moved into the place 😭) so the boys constantly have a collection of DVDs they're always rewatching, or they buy new ones/ship them in when there's something new they want to watch

I'm the type of person who will watch bad movies or reality TV shows just so I can giggle at them, so I FULLY believe that the pack would find some shitty knock-off reality TV show and lock in to watch the new episode every week together

if the boys and/or 'mega ever want to watch something popular/that would usually be on streaming they just have to get it off some backstreet website or something like that (they have burner laptops specifically for this purpose)

hope you're having a good day/night/afternoon and that you have a good week as well :) stay safe, slept, and hydrated!!!<3

— 🌘 !

Aww no need to apologize!! Things happen, people get busy. I'll always be here, hanging out (well, not quite as often right now but i'll see stuff eventually!!)

Aww thank you, thank you I'm glad you enjoyed them!!! They have been rather delicious, but don't worry, we will be getting back into the fluff and ANGST very quickly. I've been dragging the plot out more than I wanted to so now I'm rectifying that lmao.

I own The Last Of Us (it came with my PS4 when I bought it four years ago) but I still haven't played it because I suck at playing games lol. I either play all the way through at once or I play for an hour and then turn it off and don't touch it for months lol. Same even with the Sims. I go through cycles of playing for hours everyday and then not touching it for weeks and weeks.

No but like that idea would be so true lmaoo. Just an old fuzzy TV that has no streaming capabilities. They have a very vast collection of DVDs (organized by Simon of course) which is how they keep themselves sane lmao. They get like ten channels and flip between sports and daytime TV and game shows 😂 it's a routine now, sitting and watching some random game show at night.

Hey, they break a lot of laws already, what's the shame in playing pirates? 😉

#I love this lmao #thank you for this anon #answered #crcb lore #queue 06

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boysbellyrubs · 2 years

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Hello!! I don’t know if this is too specific, but I would love for you to write something like it!! (Only if you want to tho ofc!!) Btw, I know their is no sickness in the ask, but you could put in an upset tummy from A.

A comes home after an incredibly rough day and is almost on the verge of tears. All they want is a hug and cuddles from their partner B. But B doesn’t pick up on their partners trouble and makes a snide remark or snaps at them mindlessly. They don’t realize anythings wrong until A bursts into tears . . . End in fluff pls!!(I think this would be so cute for Alistar and Nikau!! - sorry if I spelled it wrong) Thank you if you decide to do it!! ❤️❤️

here is the fic I promised before :D, it's quite long almost 3000 words. the ending is mid, i hope i have met both of your expectations with your asks. thank you very much for both of them hehe.

---

Alistair, being Alistair, had made his day ten times worse than it already was. He had already anticipated a bad day, and his manifestation seemed to actually come true, just to spite him. His mood was down the drain, his outfit was shit, his classes were boring and everything about him felt awful. His stomach was terribly upset, he didn’t know if he was hungry or the stupid thing was getting sick, so as a result he was starving and bloated, belly pushing into his pants. Thankfully, his last class was wrapping up, an hour long tutorial that he didn’t contribute anything too; rather he sat in the corner leaning against the wall. He was sure he didn’t pick up anything the tutor was saying, let alone take any notes.

However, moving along he packed up his stuff with the sluggishness of a sloth, and dragged his feet out of the classroom. The person in front of him dropped the door on his face too, just his fucking luck. He scowled at their stupid haircut and started walking towards the bus stop. Oh, that was another thing, Nikau had needed the car today so he had to walk to University and now he was destined to go on a packed bus with a bunch of business men and crying babies. Joy.

The walk to the stop, Alistair reflected on how much of an awful day he had. It was downright laughable, he could’ve been on a sitcom with the amount of things that went wrong. His laptop was low on battery, the library was packed full of people, and he had only one hour breaks between all of his classes and lectures. And he was already pissed before his stomach even started to riot. So, on top of everything, his stomach gurgling away at him all day was like an incessant fly that wouldn’t stop flying around his ears.

As he walked, he found himself unconsciously holding his belly. He didn’t care what he looked like, other people be damned, all he wanted was to feel better. The walk seemed to take forever, the smell of tarmac, the sight of construction, the noise of city life, Alistair felt like his brain was melting. He zeroed in on the bus stop sign, willing himself to move faster.

It was empty. The lone bench was blissfully quiet as he heavily threw himself down on it. He shucked his bag off, sitting it against him, and threw his head back. His hair was sticking to the nape of his neck, gross, and his legs felt like jelly. Hot electricity coursed through his hands and arms, raising goosebumps and sending warning signals to his brain. He was sick. So sick yet so far from home. The bus was coming in ten minutes, the ten most agonising minutes of Alistair’s life. He wrapped both arms around his middle, holding it in place as it grumbled away incessantly.

His thoughts began to wander then. To his assignments, his boyfriend, the birds singing their annoying songs, how sick he felt. It was all coming together in Alistair’s mind, and in all honesty he wanted it to stop. His own brain almost made him break down at that bus stop. He ducked his head and sucked in harshly between his teeth, forcing the tears back into his tear ducts. Sickness floored him every time, broke down every emotional defence he had up, like a crack in a dam that grew and grew until a huge wave finally broke through. The pain in his belly, the overstimulating noise, the knowledge that every assignment would have to be pushed back for him to recover, was too much existentialism for the bus stop.

He gathered himself. Alistair turned to stare at where the bus would appear. He sat back on the bench, needing to feel the solid wood behind him. The gurgling hit a sharp note, his measly breakfast rumbling through the pit of his stomach. The organ twisted on bits of bread, trying to digest something that wouldn’t move past his stomach. He rubbed a hand over the tight spot.

Focusing on his own body, he didn’t notice the bus finally arriving. It pulled into the stop and Alistair had to force himself up, feeling his back slouch and his knees wobble, he stepped up onto the bus and sat on the closest free seat. He stared out the window, pulling a deep breath into his lungs. He closed his eyes, hoping the bus ride was the smoothest of his life.

—

Alistair trudged through the front door, groaning loudly to announce his presence. He pretty much threw his bag onto the ground, slamming the front door with his foot. The bus messed up his stomach even more, the churning getting worse and morphing into a nauseating mess inside him. He wrapped his left arm around his bloated belly, hunching over and went searching for Nikau.

The house was quiet, the only sound were Alistair’s heavy footfalls. God, he hated being sick. He groaned again when his stomach bubbled, the bug getting angrier by the second the longer he ignored it.

He got tired of searching, “Nikau! Are you here babe?”

There was a muffled reply that came from the bedroom. Alistair smiled to himself, excited to see his boyfriend after the day he’s had. His legs were heavy as he climbed up the stairs; the landing felt like it kept stretching further away from him like an oasis in a desert. His head pounded as he ascended making him shut his eyes as he finally made it to the second floor. Alistair pretty much threw his hand on the knob, knocking it down as he pushed his way inside the bedroom.

Nikau was on the bed, headphones in and laptop resting on his lap. He immediately brought a finger up to his lips, silencing Alistair’s planned complaint. Nikau’s face was very serious as he went back to staring at the laptop screen. The redheads mood decreased further, no longer feeling as excited as he was before, realising that he was going to have to wait.

Nonetheless, he sat down on the bed, flopping backward onto the pillow. His stomach rolled, making him groan deeply with the movement. Nikua shot him a look that withered the seed of hope in his chest. Alistair stole a look at the computer screen and saw the all familiar squares of a Zoom meeting. He frowned, Nikau hadn’t mentioned this at all so it must have been sudden. No wonder he was so pissed off.

Alistair closed his eyes, throwing his forearm over his eyes. The darkness was incredibly comforting, the tension in his eyebrows and jaw releasing. His other hand was rubbing along the harsh lines on his lower belly where his jeans had been cutting into him. Alistair’s tummy rumbled, nausea increasing as he sat in darkness. He almost hoped Nikau was taking notice without him having to utter a word.

The room was quiet. Alistair heard the little taps of Nikau’s keyboard flowing into his ears. It was like ASMR, quieting the anxious little voice that wouldn’t shut up. He couldn’t wait till Nikau’s Zoom was over. He conjured up an image of both of them on the couch, Nikau’s hand rubbing soft circles into Alistair’s belly, muting the upset gurgles, with cups of tea and something stupid on the TV to distract him. Getting into bed and falling asleep with Nikau’s strong arms wrapped around his middle, magically getting better by the morning.

Alistair caught himself smiling at the thought. So dramatic. He huffed at his own voice. He breathed deeply, stomach inflating with breath. After everything, he almost fell asleep. However, Nikau had decided to slam his laptop shut, sighing angrily and pushing himself off the bed with a huff.

The bed shook and Alistair’s stomach sloshed, a heavy gurgle spreading across his middle. He threw his arm off his eyes, watching Nikau pace around the room and finally coming to a stop at the windowsill, leaning on it like he was in a period drama. Alistair sat up,

“Nikau?”

“What?” The word was spat out like a curse. Alistair immediately wondered what the Zoom had been about.

“Are you alright?” Alistair didn’t notice how shaky his voice sounded, and neither did Nikau apparently. He turned around with a stormy look in his eyes, the setting sun outlined him. Alistair had to squint to look at him.

Nikau shook his head roughly, “Don’t worry about it. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Alistair sighed, now nervous about telling him his own problems. He didn’t have the chance though, Nikau already moving out of the room. Alistair got up to follow, vertigo crashing into him. He lost his footing a little, stumbling towards the dresser. He moaned as the world tilted sideways. Nikau turned around,

“What is wrong, Star? I don’t have the energy right now.” His words stung, but he knew Nikau didn’t really mean them.

“N-nothing.” As soon as the word left his mouth Nikau turned around and disappeared from sight. Alistair leaned against the dresser more, taking deep breaths in and out. His stomach was spinning, echoing his head. The more he stood there, the more anxious he felt about throwing up. It was definitely on the horizon and he felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. Alistair made his way to the bathroom, vomiting inevitable.

His hand never left the wall, hunched over himself as the nausea increased the closer he got to the bathroom door. He slapped a hand over his mouth as he gagged, vomit filling his mouth and burning his tongue. He burst into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet, vomit spilling from his lips. He coughed harshly, a heave bringing up another fierce wave as he almost fell forward. His stomach gurgled, a wet burp preceding another gag and a mouthful of vomit. He had a moment of reprieve and he sat himself down, knees slamming into the tile. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, leaning over the toilet now that he had more stability.

His stomach brought up another wave, and Alistair was surprised at the amount of vomit coming up. Coughing, panting and groaning was all that was heard around the walls of the bathroom. Alistair thought he was being loud, but apparently not loud enough for Nikau to notice. He groaned, his neck losing its strength and his head fell forward. The gurgling noises coming from his insides weren’t letting up, it almost felt like they were getting louder. He forced up a burp, which only made him gag, spitting up a chunky mouthful. Alistair moaned, arms squeezing tighter.

“Fuck.” He whined, clearing his throat and hating the feeling of his saliva dangling from his lips. His knees ached on the floor. His headache grew, a pulsing right behind his eyes. His mouth filled with saliva again, jaw tingling, and another wave was brought up into the mess in front of him. His gut finally started to calm down a little so he took the time to catch his breath. Everything was aching, he was freezing, and now he was hiccuping. He sighed, running a hand down his sweaty face. His hair was sticking to his forehead now and he felt disgusting.

He sniffled, spitting out the last remains. His hands shook as he flushed away the mess. He shakily stood, washed his hands quickly and threw some water over his face and swirled some in his mouth. He hoped Nikau had calmed down a little, it was already bad enough he felt like shit he didn’t want to feel even worse by making Nikau upset.

Alistair left the bathroom with a heavy gait. His journey down the stairs was thankfully uneventful, but by the time he made it down he felt weaker than he did immediately after vomiting. He felt like he was about to pass out. Making his way slowly to the living room, he kept his arm wrapped around his middle and found Nikau scrolling on his phone.

He cleared his throat, “Nikau?”

The man hummed, not even looking at Alistair. Alistair sagged a little, a bit defeated that his boyfriend was paying him any attention. He moved on then, to the kitchen where he fixed himself a healthy meal of ibuprofen and water. He gulped down a mouthful, wary of drinking too much. He leant back against it, staring out at the back of Nikau’s head. He still was curious as to what had upset him so much, but he knew he needed to let Nikau deal with it on his own for a bit.

All this thinking distracted him from his condition, but a cramp hit his belly right as he relaxed a bit too much. He gasped, his hand clutching his tummy, the ibuprofen coming back with a vengeance. He powered through it alone, fever addled brain making him feel worse that Nikau hadn’t even got up from his seat at Alistair’s noise. His pitiful thinking brought on more tears, but these were unable to be stopped. They made tracks down his cheeks, meeting on his jawline and falling to the ground. His belly cramped again, Alistair hunching over himself and using the bench as a support to not fall immediately to the ground.

He clamped a hand over his mouth when a sob broke through, desperately trying to make himself quiet. Nikau didn’t need extra worry. Nikau didn’t want extra worry. Nikau didn’t want to help.

No matter how much he tried to be silent, Alistair’s cries weren’t unheard. Nikau turned his head, noticing right away the state Alistair was in. He got up in a rush, throwing his phone down and approached his sickly boyfriend.

His hands landed on Alistair’s upper arms, “Star, hey are you okay?”

Alistair fell forward, his forehead landing on Nikau’s shoulder. His cries got louder then, “No, I feel like absolute rubbish, Nikau. My belly hurts.” He whined, arms winding tighter around his middle.

“Oh, love, I’m so sorry for not noticing. How long have you felt like this?” His hands moved to Alistair’s warm back, moving up and down his spine.

“Since lunch. I thought I might have just been hungry but it just got worse,” He paused, unsure if he should say this, “I threw up before.”

Nikau reeled back, eyes desperately searching Alistair’s face, “For real?”

Alistair nodded, a few more tears slipping past his eyes. Nikau sighed, pulling Alistair back into a gentle hug. The heat from Alistair’s body made Nikau feel warm, and he connected the dots as to why his boyfriend was so upset. He felt terrible. But, now that he understood he knew exactly what to do.

He pulled back more slowly this time, watching Alistair’s eyes flutter with another cramp. He hissed in sympathy.

“Okay, sweetheart let's get you settled. I’ll get you feeling better in no time.” He tried to peel Alistair off the counter as gently as possible, coming around to his side and wrapping his arm around his shoulders. They moved as one towards the living room, Nikau depositing Alistair on the couch and reaching for the nearest blanket to lay over his lap. He leant forward and got Alistair’s attention by cupping his hands on his jaw,

“Be right back.”

Alistair watched him leave, sinking down into the couch. His thoughts were still running, but as he sat down he admittedly felt a tad better. His stomach calmed down a little, and his legs were thankful that he was sitting down and resting. Alistair leaned his head back on the couch, hand resting on the crest of his swollen stomach.

He barely moved when Nikau returned, he heard a bucket be placed on the coffee table, and he felt the couch dip as Nikau sat next to him. The man touched his knee,

“You feeling okay? You don’t look so good, babe.”

Alistair shook his head, “I really don’t feel good.” Turning his head he met Nikau’s eyes, a pitiful expression on his face. Nikau made a clicking noise with his teeth, sitting a little closer to put his hand on Alistair’s belly. He leaned forward and kissed his cheek as he started to rub Alistair’s upset stomach.

Alistair moaned, the cramps coming back with the touch of Nikau’s fingertips. He pushed his stomach out, needing the pressure and comforting weight. Nikau quickly got the memo, pushing a little deeper into his belly. He burped, covering his mouth with his hand.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. If you need to let them out just do it.”

The man groaned at the feel of another burp forcing its way up his throat. His hand joined Nikau on his tummy, rubbing the underside as it swelled with pressure. His stomach wasn’t perfectly flat, yet the softness of his belly was completely overtaken by the bloating of this illness, the skin stretched tight as it worked its way through his guts. His throat jumped at a wet burp, chest lurching. Nikau paused,

“Are you gonna throw up?”

Alistair shook his head, “Just gassy.”

Nikau hummed, kissing his cheek again. The room fell silent bar Alistair’s stomach and burping. There was a tension in the air though, Nikau was the first to break it.

“I’m sorry about not noticing how sick you were before. Also, I ignored you when you were clearly ill. I’m sorry, Star.”

Alistair didn’t really know what to say. His brain was too muddled to come up with a response, too much pain and exhaustion, so he just shook his head and leaned into Nikau, hoping that was enough to get Nikau to relax. It felt like he did, his hand was still rubbing along the swell of his belly and his other hand was playing with the wavy strands of hair at the crown of Alistair’s head. ---

pls don't flop

#emeto #emetophilia #stomach ache #oc's #Alistair #Nikau #belly ache #belly kink #stomach kink #vomit kink #male sickie #caretaking #belly rubs #stomach rubs #belly gurgles #burping #vomiting #hiccups

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normiematsu · 11 months

Text

thinking more thoughts about vampire yuucho 🤓

in this au i think yuu would be a barmaid eventually turned Regular Maid lol. the first time she encounters the matsunovs its closing up and walking home and everyone (but especially choro) gives her the Stare from the shadows of an alleyway while shes just like 🚶‍♀️💨

they keep having Almost Interactions in the dead of night and it kind of freaks her out. finally choro cant take it anymore and drops off a letter at her door... yuu finds it in the morning and its a call for a live in housekeeper........! the specifications are pretty vague - whoever sent this is just looking for someone to keep the place clean while the owners take a trip overseas for an extended period of time. seems a little sus but the pay is well over twice what she makes at the bar AND no more close calls walking home in the middle of the night?! so she's like lmaooooo bye and packs up her stuff and arrives at... matsunov manor.

just like the letter said it appears there's nobody here - but it does look lived in so it probably wasn't a trick...? since there's no one else there it's pretty easy to finish her chore list every day and still have time to go out to town for a few hours every day. falling into a daily routine comes easily, and she sleeps soundly enough at night that she doesn't notice the sounds of someone (or something) moving around at night... but it does bother her that sometimes she wakes up and things look like they've been messed with overnight. but that's just her imagination right? her pay always arrives on time, and the manor has nice amenities, so she can't bring herself to quit... she keeps trying to convince herself that she's definitely here by herself...

until one night, where she wakes up well past midnight and wants a glass of water. she makes her way through the maze of hallways and staircases that lead to the kitchen. where she finds.....

not one, but five men hanging out in one of the lounges 😨 and she can see that they've all got prominent fangs and pointed ears... cue huge freakout and her trying to fight them all in a cartoonish chase sequence. eventually they all grab hold of her and are like WE CAN EXPLAIN and she's losing her shit because THERE ARE VAMPIRES HOLDING ME DOWN AND THEYRE SO FAWKING STRONG HELLO? ARE THEY GOING TO SUCK ALL MY BLOOD? HELPPPP

they all blame it on choro immediately lmfao. he steps out from a dark corner in the room and sheepishly explains that he wanted to get to know her better, totally not eat her, and he couldn't think of a better way to do it since he can't go out in the daytime 🤦‍♀️

the whole scenario is so unbelievable all yuu can ask is "so the owners aren't away traveling?" and the matsunovs are like erm... we're the owners. this is our house. "and... you definitely aren't going to kill me or suck my blood...?" we were going to at first but this place was lowkey a disaster until you showed up and choromatiu likes you so if anyone sucks your blood it's gonna him. "EXCUSE ME"

all that and she doesn't leave tho. bc the pay is too good. she's simply accepted her fate as the live in housekeeper/plaything to the local vampire family. she starts doing some of the housework at night so they can get to know her better. also she cant stop staring at choro now that she knows hes into her

#yuulore #yuucho #again no beta we die like men

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mekanikaltrifle · 8 months

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Failure and fear, for the OC of your choice?

Okay, I usually suck at open ended character choices cause there's too many to think of but... I'll pick an oc whose failures and flaws are known to relevant parties (fellow players) and won't be spoilers :D So I think I'm gonna go for Andrew, actually!

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

Although his Embrace was one of his greater failures (as far as he's concerned... even tho he had less than zero say in it-!), he actually considers the dissolution of his Pack as a failure he's to blame for. At least enough to count, anyway.

It was a messy affair; all three new fledglings that'd been brought in were very different people with very different lives beforehand, but one-- Camila-- was religious to the point of intolerance, and unafraid to get into a fight with the famously-emotional Andrew. Two recently-Embraced, very traumatised weirdos for whom the vinculum didn't bind as hard as it should, what could go wrong?

In the end, he sees it as his failure to have stopped her antagonising him, befriending his sire (who she did not know had sexually coerced Andrew in his Embrace, and like hell could he tell her, she thought he was a slut and lesser for it), antagonising him again and eventually upsetting him so hard he broke. The guy ended up frenzying often enough and intensely enough that he's picked up a frenzy weakness, and from now until a long way in the future he's going to have to work on his temper. For a Toreador, that's still a tricky fuckin ask-- especially one made for the Sabbat.

Camila ended up leaving them for good, and Andrew along with the remaining packmate Joon, fled Atlanta. They're as of now still on the road, in uncertain times... He blames himself for a lot of it all. Is it right to do that? Good luck, he's not about to talk about it.

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

He's good at playing dumb. Though he's shit-scared of a few things, Camila included, there's something he fears more deeply than anything else.

Going home.

It's his goal, and he's told Joon they'll have a great time back in London, away from the Sabbat and the blood and death and misery of its running of Atlanta, but something sits at the back of his head. Not just that Camila will have got there before him, which is a problem he's ignoring, but the thought that it might not be a good place for someone turned into the Sabbat. Something he didn't ask for, and didn't know about, he was one step above a goddamn shovelhead for fuck's sakes, but now maybe home isn't going to look like home anymore.

More to the point... what happens if he does get there, and has to say hello to his family? and friends? He's got one friend from before who knows what he is now (he had to ghoul her to save her life when Joon's sire Cassy impaled the poor woman through the torso), but everyone else? What happens if he tells them? Will they even look like friends and family anymore or will they look like food??

He doesn't talk about it, because there's no way to start that conversation comfortably, and it scares him even more than the slasher that lives in... somewhere in him now, that wants him to hurt people and fucking likes it.

Maybe going home isn't such a good idea. He can't even think of England without wanting to cry.

But boys don't cry, so he won't.

#asks #character ask #wod #world of darkness #vtm #vampire the masquerade #andrew #toreador #sabbat #thank you!#i love talking about Andrew #ideally I get to play him sometime soon

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panie-wanie-dean-bean · 1 year

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Thank u so much for the lore answer, I love the cotton candy sweetness of fluff but ima lil drunk right now, so i wanted to share a f-ed up question if that's okay, (you'r free to not answer if not,) but since Bo is so determined to like not fuck upnot be sent back n stuff what kind of stuff would he avoid doing around MC 4hat he used to do around his previous masters?

and like, if its related or not, i had this headcanon that im glad u gave some bo backstory for bc where it was like, wat would happen if he accidentally caused a accident with all his adorbs puppy energy, like he's playing tag with Jack or somethin and with Bos megahuge beach boy buff arms just knocks MC down the flight of their fancy imported italian marble stairs edged with silver (they say this as they're fallin down btw 'ah! Im falling down my fancy imported italian marblestairshks Im stupid)

but anyway yea they break something or get like super injured or something and ofc the ambulance has to be called and they're taken ro the hospital to stay for awhile, which sucks bc like ofc society looks down on hybrids so everyone is side eyeing this adorable zoo mansion bc they're lame and 1 brain celled and like "thats wat happens when u have a house full of wild animals they should be put down if u ask me" and MCs attitude is like a grim but professional "if i had both my arms Id beat ur ass bitch, wats ur @? Soon as this morphine drip is done its over for u hoes" but like they probably have a cast or somethin . Anyway MC's worried about the boys, and me the OP is worried about Bo bc like Trauma city would hit his brain harrd, and i dont even know if the other guys would be so forgiving and stuff bc i mean they Should they're a family, but that was two(2) flights of imported italian marble dude, fuck, why play football tag,, in the house?? And idk i just felt bad bc jack n Bo esp probably would feel double bad even tho MC loves him so much he's just a hyper guy, he cant help his zoomzooms, i dont/cant fathom wat he and the boys would do in this situation probably pack his one thing (an old mc shoe) ina rucksack n try to run away miserably or maybe 24/7 at the hospitsl despite all the nasty looks and comments bc they're hybrids or magbe even hiding away bc he absolutely believes that mc will send him away once they lock eyes again, but regardless of either of those things, if MC has to roll up to the house in that (yknow that spongebob character guy who was born with glass bones and paper skin ass Giant ass full body cast on rollers??) To go find that boy and over the grand table firmly tell them not to harbor any horrible thoughts about themselves or each other, bc it was an accident and about lovin them unconditionally and being a family, i might cry or somethinf, the table is also imported italian maple btw MC-s parents had a thing i think they fucked an italian architect guy, or somethin anyway i luv u, im gonna eat a burrito so let me know if u want any thing from the kitchen luv u

Lemme know if tuis text is broken up enough bc i skimmed over it and i was like this is like the stat wars openin or some shit i put gaps in

🖤

First of all, sweety, for me, take a sip or two of water, ok? And make sure you sleep on your side if you're still drunk by then, forehead kisses all around

Anyways, Bo would just mask everything that brings him joy by the time you adopt him. No bouncing, no stimming in general, no talking unless asked, no indulging in his hyperfixations or special interests, he even tries to limit his tail wagging. He's come to correlate his own joy with bad behavior so he's just straight up not him when you first meet him

Holy shit, this is good, but fuck man. Bo wouldn't know what to do with himself. Once the ambulance takes you away he thinks you died. He's in full shutdown, no talking, no eating, no moving off your bed and your scent

Jack would also be distraught, both because he was playing with Bo and because he cleans those stairs so often they're just a little more slippery from how clean they are. He stays with Bo most days, Rory coming in with meals to make sure they don't starve in there. Jack eats a little. Bo doesn't

Rory feels bad for Jack and Bo, he knows they didn't mean it and trusts Jack's recount of events. Nick keeps himself busy by visiting you in the hospital, Shaun wants to go too but since cat's are a popular allergen he's not allowed in unless he needs care. Ian goes as often as he can so he doesn't have enough time to plot Bo's death. Jean and Berry are pissed and openly talk about kicking Bo out. They know better than to talk about Jack like that with Rory around. Joseph is stuck as peace maker until you get back, making sure that no fights break out and they Jean doesn't poisons Bo's food with onions, not that he'd eat it anyhow

When you finally get home and tell everyone that you forgive Bo seeing as it was an accident Bo finally lets everything hit him and cries. He's on his best behavior the months following, you'll have to reteach him to drop his "good boy" mask and be himself

#🖤 anon #whispers of an angry god #hybrid au #sdj Jack #sdj Rory #sdj Jean #sdj Joseph #sdj Bo #sdj Nick #sdj Shaun #sdj Ian #sdj Barry

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posttexasstressdisorder · 2 years

Text

Why I don’t leave the apartment often, part 6,873...

Hopefully y’all will chuckle. After I finished having my reactive-panic attack in my truck, I laughed, too.

I said I didn’t wanna go out today, and I meant it.

But I *had to* go out, and do errands I don’t take pleasure in: Depositing cash I’d hoped to hang onto into my credit union account so that the automatic withdrawal of Farmer’s insurance doesn’t overdraw me and garner another $28 fee. Such fun! I know, right?

After that, since it was in the same part of the shopping center I put the ebay pkg in the post office drop...there were people lined up everywhere. I just ran back to the truck, and headed to the Safeway gas pumps, where I had calculated I could put $11 in without overdrawing my account, which might be a gallon and a half, and find it completely doubled up and overflowing into the main thoroughfare of the parking lot.

After finally getting up to the pumps, I saw why: they had half of the 12 pumps completely shuttered, so only half as many people could get in there at a time. I didn’t see the rubber cone in front of every other fucking pump and had to go around and do it twice (it’s a one-way hell hole).

And BEHOLD, finally after sitting for about ten minutes, idling, Buffy in front of me gets done, and I pull up to find that AT LAST, gas is under $5/gallon. Cash or debit price today was $3.99! Another reason for the clusterfuck.

So yeah, I was telling myself after THAT to just go home. Shoulda. Instead went on to GroceOut, because, well, i need coffee beans or else we risk bad things. Got there, parking lot full, just figured I’d gird my loins and suck it up and brave the horde.

Right off the bat, I’m standing at the produce outside the door, INCONVENIENTLY PLACED so that you stand there with a basket, you block the exit for someone else. I get right up to the grapes there and Tah-DAH! Angry annoyed woman waving me in when I just wanted to look at the grapes instead.

Things aren’t lookin’ good already. All the berries that used to be $2.99/pkg are now $4.99. Bananas twice what they were. The groceout it so packed, and so tightly set up that you can’t even take the barest moment to just look and see what the fuck they actually have, without someone getting snitty and you having to move.

Dairy and meat sections are the worst. They have crowded the aisles until a basket barely pushes through. One more annoyed woman thought I took too long at the eggs. Calculate in head best route. Escape that labyrinth with the goal: cheese. Then I make a beeline for the coffee beans, and am pleasantly surprised to find them stocked. The meat looked abysmal, at least the sacred beans were there.

So another trip around to try and find shit and then I go up to the checkout and am just about to unload the basket and a woman comes up to me saying “Sir, sir, SIR! You have my basket!”

Jumped outa my skin and panicked. Like wtf? Where was MY basket? The last time I’d left it, I’d parked mine by an island in the produce to go scout out the bread and chips, and didn’t really look at it when I went back, just grabbed the handles and tried to navigate the horde up to the checkout. The woman who’s basket I had grabbed was (rightfully) pissed. She just kinda snarled over her shoulder when I asked where was mine, and she said “By the Vegetables!”

So I run back and it was in the same position as the basket I’d grabbed, so that’s what had happened. Of course, I’m fucking rattled outa my goddamn skin by the time I get through the checkout and out to the truck. Just sat there having my little asthma/panic attack, sucked a couple of inhaler shots, calmed down enough to drive, said fuck it, even tho’ I needed to go to Lucky to get what GroceOut didn’t have, and just made it back to the apartment as fast as I could.

I didn’t WANNA go out to begin with, and I knew it was gonna be crazy, but I didn’t know just HOW crazy. The sheer volume of people out at 3 in the afternoon on a Monday was waaaay beyond what I was prepared to deal with. I’ll do the rest of the shit tomorrow before I have kiddo over tomorrow night for dinner, then she takes off for the frozen north to see her cousins and uncle (her dad’s brother) for the rest of winter break.

Now I have to find something else to sell by Jan 1: I still need at least $200 to pay everything I’m gonna hafta pay. I hate the goddamn holidays.

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haley-cassandra · 7 months

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It accidentally became a hyper focus, because my brain does that when people are blatantly lying about a situation… but like. It’s like she forgot about the fact that her dumbass babydaddy actually was trying to the best of his abilities; albeit the best of his ability was calling her after a couple of hours because he didn’t know how to change a diaper and no one in the house he was living in would help him at all, wouldn’t even buy the man a pack of diapers for the child. She’s going to frame him wanting nothing to do with HER as him not wanting his child, and that’s wrong. If I had a kid with her I’d move to Lexington and never speak to her again too. Especially since she stayed tf on Facebook talking shit no matter what he did; didn’t take the kid, deadbeat, took the kid, negligent. She’s literally mad to be mad. 6 whole years later, acting like he isn’t a person capable of growth and maturity. It’s not like she’d let him see his child if he decided to try to come back into his life anyway, so I don’t understand what the fuck her problem is with him having a child that he does provide for. And if she did let him see the kid, she’d find any small detail that she could and blow it completely out of proportion to find a way to keep the kid from him, so she can bitch about him on Facebook some more and garner support from pick me bitches.

But one thing you’ll never catch my ass saying is he was right or he did things correctly or he went about his whole decision making process the right way, or that he was good to her or that he loved and supported her. He was a horrendously shitty dude to her. He loved that baby tho. Loves that baby. And I’m frankly just sick and tired of her trying to play the victim card with him abandoning his kid, and yea that’s what he did but that doesn’t mean he didn’t want his child. He didn’t want her. Was she a victim of domestic violence and abuse at the hands of her baby father? Yes. Did him leaving cause irreparable damage to their child? Yea, but that’s probably got more to do with the fact that his mother is in control of the narrative for that one and so he’s going to grow up genuinely thinking his dad didn’t want him. And that sucks. Because it’s not true.

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kisari · 8 months

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ramblings on my personal feelings about my GG fave

i have such mixed feelings about testament's redesign. before i get too much into it. this is the internet so in case any rando sees this and doesnt know me: there is no wrong or right way to be nonbinary. there is no wrong or right way to present or feel yourself. i am against binary completely. i do not believe in transa/ndrophobia garbage.

i also wanna state i am a long time testament fangirlie. i love testament. i am happy testament was added. im happy they came out and said testament is x-gender/nb. testament in the old GG games partially helped me realize i was transmasc/nb. i think maybe thats why the redesign makes me feel a bit strange. first, a comparison.

Testament's general goth vibe and outfit basically never changed until Strive. I do think it's very interesting that from GG-->GGIsuka, Testament gained a six pack and yet also somehow became much skinnier and looks almost emaciated. Original GG Testament was very much a softer type build with no abs. I'd even say in Strive, their body shape became closer to how it was in the original GG.

Along with that, a lot of the design elements are still there, which I think is really impressive. The boots, the skirt, the gloves, and their new corset has the same arm flairs/wraps as their old tube top did. Really, they did a great job keeping the same vibe but showing that Testament has changed. So what's my problem? I've been trying to figure it out for a while. And seeing this concept art for Strive I think kinda cemented my feelings.

It was clear from the beginning they wanted Testament to have a more "fancy" look(lol the hat). In fact the one on the right is almost the exact same outfit but their body is drastically different... And I think this might be why I feel so mixed. GG creator has said Testament was always X-gender, and I think this comes through from their design from the very start. Back in ye olden days, before the Strive redesign, Testament 100% received transphobic comments that I shant repeat. But I'm sure you can imagine the sort of hatred and slurs a transfem would receive. having testament's redesign be clearly, much much more feminine isn't necessarily a bad thing- in fact i dont think its bad. again... being nb doesnt mean someone has to look any certain way. but testament isnt a real person. testament is a character designed by people. how would people have reacted if Testament was more masculine, but they still came out and said they were nb? The poses, the voice... it was all the same but Testament wasn't clearly much more fem? the way nb feels like something only allowed to more fem presenting people i guess makes me a bit concerned. go to any post about testament and look at the comments. its all "SEXY MOMMY THIGHS THEY SLAYIN" type shit. testament p much never received this attention beforehand. testament was also just... not as popular as other chars such as brisket who received the majority of attention in this way.

where am i going with this... idk. in a way, i have a lot of not clear thoughts and no where to put them. again maybe its just because i saw testament as gender goals before strive. and as someone that is nb but wants to be more masc it makes me a bit upset. there is absolutely a pattern of what is acceptable for a nb person to look like(especially when you are transfem), and i guess it just sucks that it happened to testament who i thought was perfect in the beginning. ngl i do also miss their edgier parts also. they def moved away from edgy to a fancy/posh vibe. testament's scythe used to be made of their own blood, and they'd cut off their body parts and remove skin for attacks. i can, obviously accept that this can be a reflection of them growing as a person and no longer self harming now that they are happy... or maybe it was too hard to animate in 3D... teehee....

this walk cycle literally cannot be beat it is the best.

i wanna be them so bad again tho i wanna reiterate. testament is my #1 fave guilty gear char forever i love them. this will not change. i just have many thots and feelings

#literally this post is super long #if you wanna see my autism rant feel free to click

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shwarmii · 1 year

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i just moved three boxes (two light and one heavy-for-me) to my car to take to the storage unit after a break and i AM SO BRAVE

context: i am still in the process of moving (un-moving? i am here, in a new residence, but i am surrounded by boxes and shit ugh) and i was very kindly gifted a storage unit by my parents since i down-sized so much (and my dad is a hoarder so he was very "YOU CAN'T GET RID OF YOUR BREAKFAST ISLAND CHAIRS JUST BC YOU NO LONGER HAVE A BREAKFAST ISLAND" even tho i got the three plush chairs for a total of $20 bc thrifting yay). but i couldnt supervise the movers (bc i was so wiped i was gonna throw up or faint if i didnt lay down and let them do whatever) and they apparently read like.. 2 or 3 of my labels and none of the rest. so they ignored so many that instructed them to put things in the storage unit. and i dont feel comfy calling them for a discount bc they had to deal with so much regarding me and my disability already (mainly: that i didnt finish packing before they got there. yeah. i did 2 or 3 all-nighters in a row just before they came, worked for weeks, and still couldnt do it all. best i could do was make them piles of the remaining stuff and go "please help")

but yeah, im quite disabled and sickly and i have muscle weakness, and i am spent FOR A DAY after a carrying a single case of Arrowhead water from my car to my personal cart to my apartment, so you can imagine the havoc a medium-to-large Costco Box of board games is apparently causing me

(read more is just more of me complaining about boxes, ft. me breaking down how my internalized ableism skews my pov of how difficultly heavy things are by using my little sister for comparison)

i was so shaky after, it sucked so bad. im so glad my storage unit has carriers by the door so i dont gotta haul that shit long-distance anymore. my body is so disregulated, jfc, that box felt like it might as well have been 50 lbs but i know for a fact it was on the heavier side of "light". bc my little sister helped me out with the worst of my heavy boxes a week or so ago (aka: my book boxes. bastards were the heaviest thing by far bc i have a concept art book collection and those books are weirdly shaped and hardcover and even just five of them is heavy enough for me to struggle. though, in my defense, i had a physical therapist test my muscle strength and she openly said "Oh, god, that's not good" lmao rip) and like.. my lil sister is an athlete, sure (and built like a model jfc she is so tall and dainty, hOW?? shes got muscle mass but its so stretched out that she looks like she doesnt have much. but bitch works out for fun, runs at least a mile every morning before college classes, and does sports and dance for shits and giggles. and also she's STEM. beauty and brains. jfc, i love her, her future partner better worship the ground she walks on, i swear. but yeah, her favorite way to show love is acts of service and she likes doing physical labor, so when i asked for help all hesitantly and ready to bribe, she was like "Okay!!✨️" before i even finished and rejected any form of payment that was more than a starbucks frap. she's back in college on the other side of California now anD I MISS HER COMPANY.. AND ALSO HER MUSCLES...) but she truly carried all my book-boxes like they weighed as much as a handheld-basket of laundry

and i even asked her "Is that an okay weight? I can grab another cart, we can take as many breaks as you need, would you like a water, thank you so much for doing this, are you okay??" and she just laughed like a mix of Santa Claus and the blonde girl from Utena (/positive)

she was so fine with what she was carrying. the only reason she agreed to a cart was to make shit faster with less trips, but she didnt care about the weight of the boxes themselves. she even said "These aren't nearly as bad as you made them out to be!" (as bad = me telling her I couldn't lift them. i had to make the boxes and tower then ontop of one another and put a book in individually at a time. after they were filled, i could not lift those boxes at all). she openly found these boxes easy to deal with. they were about Office Depot File Cabinet size bc i worried using a BIG box for books would be truly unliftable. but yeah no she was fine. my sister was very open about it even and did a couple of tricks for the comedy of making me go "EY EY EY, BE CAREFUL, DONT HURT YOURSELF" and fuss over her

so. like. i know she'd be able to carry this board-game box i am currently struggling with, probably even one-handed if it wasnt for its awkward size of it which would necessitate she use two hands. and you might go "shwarmi, your sister is probably not an accurate representation of a person's strength, im sure those boxes were heavy, books are heavy, so are board games" and im like:

the book-boxes were likely heavy but mangeable for most people. the board game box was definitely heavy-end-of-the-"light" weight-spectrum. also, my sister is a great barometer for me because i am in F-tier, maybe D-tier on a good day, and she is A-tier. she is likely not S-tier, she isnt a body-builder, doesnt have obvious muscle definition, no a six-pack, no evident biceps or calfs, nothing. so most people are B- or C-tier. so she is actually a good litmus test for me, personally, because i see the strain on a B-/C-tier person and i spiral into thinking they feel like me when they DONT. so seeing my sister have no problems or strain beyond "this cart that your storage unit supplied sucks to steer!" makes my dumbass go "...ahhh, i see how different me struggling versus a B-/C-tier person struggling is now that i see my sister's limits and think of her proverbial Strength Stat as ridiculously high". i have a few other friends (and a brother, who teagically lives far away from me boo) who pride themselves on their strength that similarly make me do a double-take of "OOOOOOH.. oh, okay, my frame of reference has been righted, okay"

really brings to light a reminder that i still have a SHIT TON of internalized ableism. it is very hard rn to not kick myself for only doing three boxes in one trip today. my dumbass really wants to go "DO A NORMAL PERSON AMOUNT OF STORAGE MOVING" but, my comrade, i am not normal. i am disabled. i very physically weak. there is a reason why my loved ones and i make frequent jokes comparing me to "sickly Victorian ghost children" (hence why my @/playbychoices account had that John Mulaney quote as its blog-title for so long). i can do these three boxes today. hopefully, i can do the equivalent or more tomorrow, but i also could have another week-plus long flare-up like i did this past period before today. so. today. just three. very sadge. but alas, the way things do be

anyway

praise me for this stupid fucking board-games box. the other two were easy, even for me. one was even the same awkwardly medium-large Costco box but just had lighter shit inside. but the board game box??

shit sucked. im sitting next to an a/c with an ice-cold drink and my feet up, trying to get my likely-POTS-raddled body regulated back to a mangable level

but still

shit sucked

#shwarmi #me #diary dump

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