#mr craig rambles

[mr-craig]

A few years ago I tried to record a poetry podcast. In the end I scrapped it, but at least the attempt inspired a silly poem. My latest BookTube video is a recital of that poem, plus a parody of Jabberwocky namechecking my favourite musicians. Y'know, normal stuff.

[dr-spectre]

Splatoon & Me.

A discussion about my personal history with Splatoon.

So... 10 years huh? We did it, 10 whole years of this franchise being a thing. I honestly can't believe it's been this long since it began, i was in primary school when i first laid my eyes on Splatoon and now I'M A GOD DAMN ADULT! That's.... really scary to think about...

Basically, in this blog post I'm going to be talking about where i was during each Splatoon game and it's respective dlcs, this won't be a retrospective review sort of thing where i review each game, but rather I'm just gonna ramble about each game and dlc and just... talk. It is sort of a retrospective but it's more of a personal one.

I highly encourage you guys to chat and just ramble away about your relationship with the franchise.

So, without further ado, let's talk about where it all began...

Splatoon 1.

So, to give some context, i did not own a Wii U during it's run, i only got one in 2025. However, around 2014 to 2015 is when i first started actually following Nintendo news, i was around 10 years old and i had an iPad where i got to see news and updates on different Nintendo things.

I still remember my initial reaction to Splatoon somewhat, even after all of these years, i remember seeing the orange ink and the squid swimming around and my brain immediately went "OH IS THIS SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE 2?!?!?!" And then... She popped out of the ink. And it showed the gameplay and i was very, perplexed yet, curious... I saw some of the E3 footage of people trying out the game and it intrigued me so much. The bright colours, the character designs, it was something i wanted to get my hands on, yet i didn't have a Wii U and i didn't want to explain what a Wii U was to my parents. We already had a Wii so... yeahhh it would have been a mess you know? (Wii 2 was right there Nintendo...)

I looked at Splatoon from the outside, seeing all the content, seeing the idols. I didn't think much of Callie and Marie at first but... Well... In years time that would change, dramatically... I saw all of the ancient memes and people talking about white ink and i barely knew what that even meant at the time. Back then we just barely talked about sex ed so white ink was a weird thing to me LMAO!

I remember watching Etika talk about the game and the apparent rumour that Nintendo invited Playboy bunny girls to play the game early as a promotion, i swear to god that was a thing but i barely remember it. I remember seeing all the creepy shit within the story mode, the friggen screams and odd sounds in the boss rooms.

I talked about Splatoon with my friends at primary school, discussing how it would feel like, what weapons we wanna try out... Man... They were simple times. Snack time and lunch time were just friends and i discussing on a table what we thought about recent gaming stuff.

But now, i have a Wii U and it's basically my Splatoon 1 machine. Sure, i played some Bayonetta 1 and 2, some Wii games, but my Wii U is my Splatoon 1 machine, and let me tell you, Splatoon 1.... It's.... It's PEAK!!!!!

THE STAGE DESIGN? THE BEST OF THE BEST! It feels like you're going around a playground, so many paths, so much verticality, so many little details and things to see. it's really really dense and i love it. I love the way the weapons look in Splatoon 1, they are so cartoony and colourful and... yummy looking? That's the best way i can describe them. Callie and Marie greet you when you boot up the game so it's automatically the best Splatoon game by default /j

The hero mode? Octo Valley? It's really fun and cute. Seeing where the series began is very neat. It's just a simple tutorial with some interesting ideas and bosses. It's actually good and tells it's simple story in the most Nintendo way possible, unlike a certain canyon of the octopus variety....

DJ Octavio is really funny and his boss fight in Splatoon 1 is my favourite boss fight in the entire series. The music across the board be banging, Octo Valley is really cool and a good single player experience. It knows what it tries to be, it has a simple story that's neat, it's just nice, nothing crazy but it's just nice.

Splatoon 1 still holds up in my eyes, if you have a Wii U and you somehow don't have Splatoon 1 then what the fuck are you doing!!! IT'S LIKE 10 BUCKS ON EBAY! YOU CAN PLAY THE GAME ONLINE WITH PRETENDO! GO DO IT!!! IT'S MORE ACTIVE THAN SPLATOON 2! GO! IT'S REALLY FUN!

"B-but i don't wanna mod my console!" YOU'LL BE FINE!!! IT'S OKAY! TRUST ME YOU'LL BE OKAY! Go play Splatoon 1, you'll have a really good time!

Speaking of having a good time... NOT! It's time to talk about... IT. You know the game... The game i give a lot of shit, for legit and... well.. petty reasons but, if we are gonna talk about Splatoon and celebrate it's 10th anniversary, we have to talk about-

Splatoon 2.

Oh Splatoon 2... i have... mixed feelings about you. What you gave me was access to a series i would fall in love with, you gave me these amazing memories and make me look back on a time where i can look fondly on. but you also gave me pain... anger... stress.... sadness... you gave me these sharp stinging pains in my chest when i saw... her. What you did to... her. Cause me genuine chest pains and it would get so bad that i couldn't do things i wanted to, you ruined a holiday break for me because my brain became obsessed with... her. The echoed singing ringing in my head, the stinging, i couldn't handle it, i couldn't even look at... her. Anymore, without getting the stinging and tingles in my chest. I couldn't stop thinking about those awful events that your story mode told me happened, the fucking vile events that are so engrained within the community that it has taken years to get out, yet it's still there... It won't go away... The god damn pain was so strong and i couldn't figure out why it was even happening in the first place. Why, why... her. Why did i feel so strongly about this character that everyone treats poorly? Why...

Your story mode, I will NEVER forgive, I can't do it, i can't sit beside and listen to the loudest voices say things i so strongly disagree with, i can't watch lore videos anymore, i cant....

But i can't hate you anymore man, i just don't have the energy within me to continue to bash you down and treat you poorly. I wanna love, not destroy. So i will, for a brief moment in time, say wonderful things about you.

I remember before i got this game, i got the Nintendo Switch 4 days prior on Christmas, i got the console, Super Mario Odyssey, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and... Sonic Forces... Hey i didn't pick the game okay? I wanted Sonic Mania but my dad and i had no idea it was a digital only title.

But even after all that, my dad gave me a question, one simple question. "What would you like for your birthday?"

I only had two choices in my mind, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, or Splatoon 2.

I chose, Splatoon 2, i badly wanted to play Splatoon since it came out and when i finally had that damn case in my hands... Oh i fell in love. It felt like fate... The game so smooth, it was so fast, so fun, it was a shooter the likes of which I've never played before, i loved the way the game looked, the way it felt, the Inklings, just, oh my god it was like everything clicked in my brain. The music, the visuals, it was so gooodddddd.

Splatoon 2 as a multiplayer game is really really good, not AS good as Splatoon 1 but its very close. The stage design is fantastic and continues off of what Splatoon 1 did, the new weapons like the dualies are so bloody good and the weapon is now my main weapon that i use along with the roller. The music in stages is fantastic too, the visuals for a Switch 1 launch title is really really GOOD! I can give the game it's praises because it does have some really great shit in it. It's not all bad.

And how can we forget, Salmon Run, oh my god i LOVEEEE Salmon Run. One of the best things Splatoon ever introduced and it got it's start in Splatoon 2. I love the salmonids, i love some of the maps and i still miss Ruins of Ark Polaris, one of the most interesting stages that has been designed in the series.

And you know what? The story mode has some cool shit, I love the vibe of Octo Canyon and the background music. I love all the decorations Callie put up. Tidal Rush is a banger and anyone who disagrees I'll just look at you funny.

I played the story mode on an airplane ride and then finished off the final area in my hotel. It was a really cool experience... for a time.... I enjoyed it. At the time i didn't make much of Callie and the shades. I just thought they were direct mind control glasses or some shit. Man.... funny how things change...

And speaking of Callie, this is when uh... the Idol obsession began... this is when the seed was first planted.... I want y'all to remember, I was 13 to 14 when Splatoon 2 was a thing... What do you think happened when i saw a bunch of cute girls WHEN I WAS A TEEN BOY!?!? YEAH! YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT! I wasn't as obsessed with them as i am currently, but i was interested by them, i liked seeing them. Marina captured my heart and definitely uh... influenced me on the type of women that i like... I'm not gonna elaborate on that point...

I so badly wanted the Pearl and Marina amiibo back then but i couldn't get the courage to ask my parents to buy it or ask any EB Games employees if they had stock left.

And this leads me to another thing that i wanna talk about Splatoon 2, this is when i started interacting with other fans online, some of the interactions were fine, but most... i regret... I made a lot of mistakes, did a lot of cringey shit, when i think back to those times, there are little diamonds in the rough but it was mainly a lot of bad shit and i did things i just hate thinking about. I remember being in some call on the bloody NINTENDO SWITCH APP and there was this girl who pretended to be Callie and she would speak in this high pitched voice, and we did uh, roleplaying, i barely remember much but i would rather not talk about it and the other things my brain barely remembers.

I was a teenager, i did stupid teenager things, I'm a better person because I'm not a dumb stupid fucking moron teen anymore and i never wanna think about the shit i did and saw during my teen years.

I think because of that, my thoughts on the game have soured because of the stuff i did as a teenager. Although i can't remember it well, i still remember myself being very cringey.

I don't hate this game, in fact it does a lot of things better than Splatoon 3. But i hate how this game gets praised just to shit on Splatoon 3 because people have rose tinted glasses and forgotten how bad this game can truly be at points. The non story parts of this game are fairly solid, i can admit to that and i wanna celebrate those parts.

Splatoon 2 i fucking LOVE you and HATEEEEE you!!

Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion.

I mean, what is there to talk about that hasn't been talked about already? It's Octo Expansion, the widely beloved single player mode, the number 1 thing Splatoon 2 has over the other two games, the single player mode that everyone has come to agreement is the best in the series, and you know what? I agree too! Shocker i know!

Octo Expansion is fantastic, the atmosphere is brilliant, the ost is probably my favourite in the series, Agent 8 is a cut above the other protagonists because of the memcakes and how much mystery surrounds them. The chat logs which gave Off the Hook so much development it's insane, the difficulty, the final boss, oh my god i LOVE this campaign!

I think the main reason on why this mode is celebrated so much is because it appeals to Splatoon fans the most. It's challenging and doesn't hold back. You WILL die a lot in your first playthrough. But it's not unfair, most of the time, it is challenging but fair... MOST of it.

Like genuinely i will never, EVER forget my first experience playing through the finale of Octo Expansion, the twist of Tartar trying to blend you up and Agent 3 coming in with the SPLATOON 1 MUSIC! THE METAL GEAR SOLID LIKE STEALTH SECTION! NASTY MAJASTY! SHARK BYTES AND USING THE INK JET?!? OH MY GODDDD! It's so fun and hype.

Sanitized Agent 3? The only mind control plot in a piece of Splatoon media that i ACTUALLY LIKE and don't find it incredibly disgusting, vile, stupid, poorly written or wasted potential. The fucked up remix of Splattack, seeing your Splatoon 1 character FIGHT YOU? The first time in the series where the games celebrate the past and try to remix it in a unique spin is so fucking cool.

And... Fly Octo Fly... brother. Oh my god. I listened to that song over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AGAIN! It is probably the best final boss song within the entire series and i don't think I'll never get tired of it.

Octo Expansion is a god damn treasure, it is a miracle that it came out as well as it did. Sure, it is short and it does suck that the really cool development for Off the Hook is pretty much skippable, but i don't care. Octo Expansion is like the dessert that saves a mid meal you just ate. And speaking of saving the best things for last...

Splatoon 2: Final Fest.

I wanna say my final words about Splatoon 2 and briefly talk about the Final Fest because i did play it when it was happening.

I remember the build up to this last Splatfest being really intense considering how the previous final Splatfest influenced things and it brought up a lot of interesting debates within the community. Is a world of chaos truly better than a world of order? A world of order would keep everyone safe, but it would be very strict. A world of chaos would allow anyone to do whatever they want, but it would also have a lot of violence and no rules to govern what is right and wrong.

However... What really influenced me to pick the team that i ended up picking was down to a YouTuber's words about the matter.

"Its kill or BE killed, the strong survive!" And who said that? Well... It was Etika. I fucking loved that man's content, so one of his last streams stating that he was on Team Chaos and his tragic passing made the choice obvious. I still miss that man today, it feels like there is this hole that he left and i don't think it will ever be filled ever.

I joined Team Chaos and i fought HARD to make sure Chaos would win. And seeing MC. Princess Diaries and fucking PEARL COMING IN TO USE HER PRINCESS CANON!! OH MY GOD THAT WAS HYPE AS FUCK!!!!

Ultimately, after all the battling and war... Chaos won, and the dialogue that Pearl and Marina said to each other was just... Oh my god it was so fucking CUTEEEE!!! It was a great end to a game that allowed me to join the fandom.

Although Splatoon 2 gives me a lot of... anger, there's still a lot that i love and cherish about it. Everything to do with Off the Hook, Octo Expansion, the stages, the new weapons, oh my god this game did a lot of good things, and i would rather remember Splatoon 2 that way, over the feelings of distain and pure rage i have over the writing that hero mode provided.

Splatoon 3.

I mean, i don't have to say much about Splatoon 3, i made a whole ass blog post about it in the past just before the Grand Fest happened, but i wanna still wanna talk about it.

Splatoon 3 is my favorite game out of the trilogy and I'm gonna defend it no matter what. It feels like Splatoon at it's most polished gameplay wise, it feels somehow smoother and faster, the new movement options while at first being nothing too crazy, actually transform how you move around the stages and are a MASSIVE game changer. You cannot go back to older Splatoon games after experiencing Squid Roll, it's just so hard.

The new weapons like the Splatana, S-Blast, Stringer, Douser Dualies, etc, are really unique and introduce interesting ways and playstyles. I love the god damn Decavitator dude. What an incredible weapon with a funny concept and brutal name.

Salmon Run gets some massive improvements and it's so so so FUN! I love the King Salmonids so god damn much dude holy hell. And once we got to fight ALL THREE OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME!?!? PEAK! PEAK PEAK PEAK!!!

I remember when i got this game at launch, i had to go get a haircut after school finished for the day and let me tell you, it was fucking unbearable, i knew that my copy of Splatoon 3 was waiting for me at home yet i could not play it. I think the funniest part of that day was explaining to my dad what the fuck a Splatoon is, he never really gave it much thought when he got me Splatoon 2 so he must have forgotten what it was and my brother and i just stared at each other when he asked "what's Splatoon?"

But let me tell you... when i got home... Holy mother of god i grinded out ROTM like no tomorrow dude. I had so much fun and i was completely hooked. Sure i got spoiled that Deep Cut were gonna be boss fights and Mr. Grizz was the true antagonist thanks to leaks running rampant before the game came out, but it was still so cool, plus i was sharing my thoughts with my friends on discord and we were all freaking out and shit.

I really adore The Crater and how it fools you into thinking it's gonna be yet another standard hero mode, but then it drops the back to back surprise of DJ Octavio being the first boss fight and then being dragged into Alterna. You can criticize ROTM for any reason you want, but you can't deny, that intro is fucking awesome and a great way to subvert expectations.

And Alterna as a whole has this really cool vibe and aesthetic to it. The snowy, abandoned yet clean areas and the stages themselves invoke this weird sensation in my brain. The stages reach this... nostalgic part of my brain, it's so odd yet i love it. I don't really like the stage design itself because it feels like Octo Expansion diet lite edition with barely any of the difficulty or replay value of Octo Expansion, aside from some levels.

The boss fights are pretty neat and yes, the Big Man fight is awesome and a cool reference to Super Mario Sunshine, yes i did soyjack at it, we all did, moving onnnnn!!

The finale of Splatoon 3 ROTM is truly special, although i think Octo Expansion is better, ROTM still slaps so hard when it comes to an epic finale. Calamari Inkantation 3mix is a banger, your little buddy that's been helping you throughout the entire campaign becomes a FUCKING KAIJU TO BEAT UP A GIANT BEAR THAT WANTS TO COMMITT MASS GENOCIDE AND TURN EVERYONE INTO FURRIES!!! DJ Octavio redeeming himself and you having to pilot his mech when in the previous games you were fighting against it. It feels like everything has come full circle to give a satisfying finale to the Splatoon saga.

Splatoon 3 did a lot of things right, but it has some issues that i HOPE get addressed in the eventual Splatoon 4. Such as the catalogue system and how long it took to get updates and content additions, 3 months for patches is a death sentence for modern online games, that needs to change. The lack of third kits, the stage design being significantly more watered down compared to the previous games, despite there being new movement tools, the stages feel more restrictive which is such a massive shame.

Splatoon 3 is cool but it for sure suffers the issue of death by a thousand paper cuts, it has all these minor issues that some people can handle while some can't, and that's perfectly fine.

Splatoon 3: Side Order.

Side Order... my baby... Oh i love you, but i also think you could have done better. To me Side Order feels like vanilla ice cream, like sure, vanilla ice cream is good on it's own, but MANNNN i want MORE! There's so much shit to love, yet it still needed way more shit and an actual good post game to keep players interested.

This dlc felt like an experiment, to see how the gameplay of Splatoon can adapt to different game genres and go out of it's comfort zone. I really do hope it gets a proper sequel in terms of gameplay and they go even more in-depth. More enemies, more bosses, more variety within bosses, more missions, more post game content including story content, more variety in the environments, etc. etc.

Side Order nails it's OST and environments and it's the most experimental sounding thing within the series. These songs will make people scratch their heads and go "what the fuck am i listening to?" And i LOVE THAT! They could have done Octo Expansion again but they actually wanted to do something unique and I respect the devs for that.

I now wanna talk about my personal experience with this dlc.

I wanna tell you guys something, Side Order came out during the height of my Splatoon fixation, i monitored it's build up to release like a fucking hawk, i saw so many theories and people going crazy on what could happen. I remember when that poster came out and people were screaming that AGENT 4 WAS THERE! AND HOW IT MIRRORED CALLIE IN THE SPLATOON 2 HERO MODE POSTER! IT WAS SO HYPE!! I remember reacting to early impressions of Side Order and all of the people who talked about it kept mentioning that something happens within the tutorial and i was so insanely curious on what it was... And what they were hiding... Where was Marina? Why is Inkopolis Sqaure bleached? So many questions and i wanted to learn it all...

And bro... When it came out... I hooked up my Switch to the main TV in my house, i got READY! And even then, i wasn't ready dude. I fucking gasped, i screamed, i squealed, i was crying, i was going OFF DUDE! I was stimming like a mother fucker, i was losing my god damn mind every 10 minutes.

The build up to Marina Agitando was so intense for me, i knew what was going to happen when Marina's dialogue got cut off and it turned into something sinister... The flashes of the past were in my brain and i was saying "not again... NOT AGAIN!!!"

And once i got to the 10th floor... And i saw her... I gasped so fucking loud and i was in shock for like a solid minute, time froze in that minute, realizing "oh... oh they did it... they actually did it... they did it again..." Once i beat the boss and i got up to the title card i was literally screaming and freaking out on WHAT THE HELL I JUST WITNESSED!!!

Throughout the entire DLC i was just going insane, seeing the first dev diary literally made me ACTUALLY CRY!!!!!! Parallel Canon made me yell, like, i could go on but I'm just gonna talk about the final boss. The final boss of Side Order dude... I... I won't forgot the finale of Side Order, it was so, emotional for me, and i don't exactly know why. I think the remix of Ebb and Flow with elements from the live version, the focus on embracing the chaos of the present, it just... reached to a deep part of my soul. I was trying to sing along, i was swaying with the music, just, bawling my fucking eyes out.

And... the cherry on top... UNLOCKING INKOPOLIS SQUARE?!?! I FUCKING FELL TO THE FLOOR! MY HOME TOWN! MY TURF! IT CAME BACK!!!

Side Order is something special to me, it came out at the perfect time and it's a experience i will cherish until the end of time. But there is... one more thing that tops Side Order in my eyes... Something that really destroyed me in both good and bad ways.

The Grand Finale.

The Grand Fest... Man, just thinking back to it makes me feel teary eyed. Funny how my biggest worry was taking pictures of the Idols... I ended up taking at least over 2k photos if i wanna make a very rough estimate. Yeah... I uh... i went overboard but, i loved every second of it.

At first it was difficult to pick a team because i do love the Squid Sisters but, i didn't wanna think about my past, when i think about my past, it makes me feel sad, lost, depressed, knowing that those past locations, the people I've seen, the vibes, the feelings, the senses.... i would never get them back... Thinking about the future too just makes me feeling so scared and anxious. Am i gonna be forgotten about? Will i be in the same spot for the rest of my life? Will i find success? Will i get a partner? Will i die tomorrow? Will my family get killed? Ultimately, i realised that i felt my most happy when i was in the present, that is where i think we are truly the most happy. You ever think about a birthday from your childhood you went to? You remember how the most fun you had from that party was the part where you were hanging out with friends, laughing it up, playing games, whatever right? Being in the moment, the present. And you were at your most unhappiest when the party was wrapping up and you were reflecting on the past? Realising that those fun times are over now... Or maybe you were really worried about how the party was gonna be like? You were worried about the future.

Plus, Off the Hook mean a lot to me, i think they taught me a lot of things, they showed me what a happy relationship between two people could look like, they showed me that just because someone is so vastly different from you, it doesn't mean that they don't deserve love, they still do. I yearn for the kind of partnership Pearl and Marina have.... My choice was obvious in that moment and i went with Team Present.

The hub was truly special, it was so big and complex that it would literally tank the performance which is so funny. Seeing DJ Octavio with his boyfriend, right next to the Squid Sisters stand felt like my heart was healing, it felt, good, to see him like this. Seeing him so silly and ridiculous, how he always was before... Well... Splatoon 2.... Ugh...

The plushies, the jellyfish, the lights, the sounds, nearly every single Idol song in one place, BLUSHING TIDE OH MY GOD I WON'T FORGET HEARING THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME! THE SQUID SISTERS DEFENDER NEURONS IN MY BRAIN WERE JUMPING AROUND I TELL YOU THAT! The performances of the past live concerts being fully preserved into a digital form that can be accessed anytime. Like... Oh my god they put in so much fucking effort into this.

I won't lie, i tried to dance along to some of the songs, yes i did try to sing along to the lyrics out loud, yes i did cry over Three Wishes, yes i did literally sob my eyes out really hard when the credits music from all the games played in the hub. I was a literal mess by the time that it ended. My face was so wet and i couldn't stop crying during that final hour, my eyes were actually hurting I'm not even fucking joking. The only other time i really cried hard over a video game were Red Dead Redemption 2, Super Mario Galaxy and Persona 3 Reload. Even thinking back to how i was i get a little teary eyed. In that moment i thought "oh god... Is this it? Is this the last time i will get to see them again? Is this... the end? I don't want it to end! I don't want them to go!!" Man... I was so fucking sad dude. I think it was the first time that Daybreaker Anthem got to me as well, never thought that Deep Cut could make me cry but hey, they did it. It was a really magical experience. It really was.

And that final day man... That fucking final day with Rainbow Color Inkantation was just... OH MY GOD MY HEART WAS POUNDING! I WAS GOING CRAZY! I never felt so much adrenaline hearing those final 10 seconds. It might actually be my favourite Calamari Inkantation I'm not even kidding. 3mix is a banger and Splatoon 1's inkantation is iconic, but Rainbow Color Inkantation feels climatic, it feels like everyone coming together for one last song, and the idols trying to fight for dominance on that song. Rainbow Calamari Inkantation might be a contender for the magnum opus of the Splatoon OST I'm not even kidding.

The Grand Festival was.... everything. It was the best way to end Splatoon 3 and i don't think they could have done it any better.

Conclusion.

I wanna say, thank you for reading, it means a lot to me, truly it does. Like you spent time out of your day to read the personal ramblings of a random ass autistic man who likes squids and octopuses a bit too muchhhh...

This franchise means a lot to me and countless other people too. From the outside it might seem a bit weird or cringe to be so obsessed with a franchise like this, to cry and sob at some of it despite it's silly and girly appearance. But i do not give a shit about the people who find it weird. To be free is to embrace the cringe, to embrace the shit that makes you feel whole inside. We all need that thing that makes us feel whole and happy in life.

What this franchise gave me is something literally irreplicable.

Although, as of me writing this segment, my interest in the series is for sure fading away, and that is to be expected. I can't hold onto the interest forever. It must be put to rest. I have other things i wish to experience, i have other games to play, tv shows to watch, things to write, so much to do.

But Splatoon will always be in my heart, I will always keep my things on display, I will never give up my love for this franchise and throw it all away. I will never do that.

So remember everyone, i want you all to stay fresh, make sure you don't get cooked and that you stay off the hook.

Catch ya later!!!

[starshadyy]

what your favorite splatoon character says about YOU!

obligatory “this is a joke” disclaimer, please don’t take offense i’m only being silly👉👈

☆ ★ ☆

callie: you are a diehard squid sisters fan. you have an intrinsic sense for design and are probably super creative. you hate it when people misinterpret her. others wouldn’t assume it, but you actually need therapy more than most others on this list…😔

marie: you’re really intimidating but probably super nice. you’re actually good at the game and are well-versed in the meta. you may not be the best at communication, but you have a strong intuition and are good at reading people

pearl: an absolute feral crackhead who needs to be kept on a leash. definitely queer. nasty majesty is your national anthem. you breathe life and energy into every situation you enter, and others appreciate you for it. you are pearlina’s strongest soldier! 🩷🩵

marina: you are a massive nerd /affectionate. you either wanna be her friend or you have a fat crush on her. you listen to splatoon ost all the time. your room is packed with stuff from the media you like, including mountains of plushies

shiver: you join her team during splatfests even when you don’t necessarily agree with the platform. you’re likely very sarcastic and always speak your mind. oh yeah, and you’re a weeb

frye: you loved her from the start and defended her honor back when everyone was clowning on her design. you’re very talented but humble about your accomplishments. you would bite someone if allowed

big man: you act laid back but are probably filled with anxiety. i get the vibe that you would own an unconventional pet of some kind [turtle, frog, ferret, etc.]. you’re for sure the mom friend. you know nothing about splatoon lore

captain 3: you are the BACKBONE of this fandom and i have nothing but respect for you. you’re probably ranked pretty high in competitive and are likely a completionist

agent 4: you grew up on splatoon 2 and were sure that they would show up in side order only to be… uh, half right? i’m so sorry sweet prince /gn. don’t you worry, your day [splatoon 4] is fast approaching…

eight: you’re very analytical and derive great joy from the story aspects of splatoon. you either write or read fanfiction and maybe cosplay too. you LIVE for the found family trope, and also probably ship them with captain 3. you have amazing taste :]

neo agent 3: you think lil buddy is the most adorable creature to walk the planet. you wish their initial outfit was actually accessible in the game. you’ve probably only played splatoon 3

cap’n cuttlefish: you’re an og who’s been around since splatoon 1 but still know next to nothing about the lore. you don’t main a weapon, and instead prefer to bounce around. you are… an inscrutable crackhead who i want to study

dj octavio: you’re willing to die on the hill that he is not a villain and only did what he did to support his people [you’re right btw]. you’re actually really chill and fun and i have a lot of respect for you. also, i’m liable to believe that you ship him with cuttlefish, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?

commander tartar: you’re… ME??? villainous characters are always your favorites. you think octo expansion is a masterpiece [and you’re entirely right]. you’re a splatoon scholar and scour every obscure twitter post and artbook note to satiate your hunger for that sweet sweet lore. there’s something deeply wrong in your head.

mr. grizz: you play a lot of salmon run but are actually kinda bad at it [shhh i won’t tell]. you suffered through after alterna just for his backstory log and the bear ears. i’m going to go out on a limb here and say… you have daddy issues

smollusk: you LOVE the idea that marina and pearl are its adoptive moms. you’ve beaten side order with every palette. you overuse the “🥺” emoji. you miiight be a little annoying, but your heart is in the right place… probably

acht: either the chillest person you’ll ever meet or the most insane. probably both. you’re 100% queer and probably neurodivergent too. i bet you listen to will wood and / or tally hall. i wanna be your friend

harmony: you know every chirpy chips song by heart. you’re probably really sweet and i know you make banger fanart. you have an affinity for cute things and i bet your favorite pokémon type is fairy. DEFINITELY neurodivergent.

cq cumber: ???you both confuse and frighten me!!! what can i even say? you’re a cryptid! but honestly, you’re kinda iconic. i salute you, you freak of nature🫡

iso padre: I LOVE YOU. you’re accepting of all people and are just an absolute saint in general. daddy issues, but you’re coping way better than the grizz fans. also, i’m betting that you’re neurodivergent

sheldon: i didn’t think you existed, but turns out that you do? you actually listen to his rambles. splatoon 2 is your favorite game in the series. you’re able to see the value in things that others tear down and y'know what? i respect that [not saying i approve of your character choice though]

judd: wait, why him? ohh wait, i know! you probably just don’t care about splatoon’s story at all and / or love cats. there, that’s totally it, right?

lil judd: you either DON’T know his lore and just like the cute little kitten, or you DO know his lore and you’re unhinged. i’m scared of you

spyke: you’d bark for him without hesitation and DON’T pretend you wouldn’t. you clown. you absolute freak. i know what you are. /j

murch: if i had to bet, you’re probably the shy type who prefers to let others do the talking for them. you might secretly be a little freaky though, and i think you should embrace that side of yourself. you’re safe here. be free.

[falloutnewnobody]

how i think each of the fnv companions/fan favorite characters would react if you asked to stack donuts on it (inspired by the fo4 companion dick donut post) (it not required) with little to no explanation

Cass: 100% absolutely. she brought it up. you're paying for the doughnuts

Boone: Very much no.

Arcade: no, but you can confirmed bachelor him into a hesitant yes that he instantly regrets

Veronica: yes, mostly out of curiosity

raul: no, and he questions your sanity.

vulpes: would call you a degenerate and probably stab you.

Ulysses: absolutely, but gets mad that he didn't think of it first.

benny: he's already done it, but will do it again. brags about how many doughnuts he can fit on it

Joshua graham: would let out the worlds' most disappointed sigh and tell you to get out of his sight and go to church

mr house: he'd say something about how, while he appreciates the boldness of asking and the scientific intentions, there's no way in hell he'd let you do that.

RingofromGoodprings (because i will live and die a ringofromGoodsprings truther): enthusiastic yes, not becuase he's particuarly interested in the activity, but becuase the Courier is like his bestie with a totally different job/work schedule that he sees once a month and actively looks forward to doing stupid shit for the bit with

yes man: he'd say yes, but in that passive aggressive way that makes it clear that he's genuinely worried about your mental health.

any of the think tankers: yes, for science

[st4rry4543]

Meh, nothing serious, just concept pianosaurus doodles

I actually like his design, so it'll probably be close to close to his final.

Info on pianosaurus, doey, and Yarnaby in this au:

Pianosaurus:

Mr. Pianosaurus here is kind of cocky not in a mean way! just playfully joking, no harm done.

Our musical man here loves to mess with Mr.doughman a lot. What we mean by that is like poking him in random places whenever he's doing something important. this punk, will sit down or look at the mirror at random times and say to himself, "I miss my band." And get all sad about it and start playing depressing music! Chill with those bad vibes dude your turning my milk for sour!

whenever he's idle, he'll stand and check/ pick his nails or have his hand on his hip.

• He suffers from a tragic disease called "pathetic loser"💔💔💔💔

• MUSIC, he loves music he's a musical man,it's kinda his thing! He plays a keyboard during his free time.

• he doesn't like kids much. He doesn't hate them. He just finds them gross and sticky.

Doey:

• Well! To be clear, doey's main job isn't Babysitting it's a small thing he does every now and then. His main thing is teaching a pottery class.

• #1 pianosaurus victim. Before the whole "you know what I actually really kinda love you now" thingy he really REALLY, REALLY hated pianosaurus. He still does in a way he just finds him annoying.

• He spaces out often mostly during conversations, so if someone is giving him instructions, there's a 69% chance he isn't listening

• He finds children precious that's what makes him such a great neighbor

• he's optimistic, not dumb but optimistic!(keep this in-mind!)

•" He is an ABSOLUTE DORK, DORK I TELL YOU DORKKKKKK. from the way he dresses to the way he laughs and / or giggles, just a good for nothing DORK!"As pianosaurus would say.☺️

• He usually braids or twists Yarnaby's hair while listening to him ramble about animals and rant about how unfair it is that playtime city's zoo only lets him work 6 hours a day! Can you believe that?

Yarnaby:

A fellow of nature indeed! He has a very special connection with animals. He also thinks their awesome sauce.

• he sometimes wishes he was a lion freely roaming through the forest along with the others, not a care in the world!( crazy canonical foreshadowing)

Fun fact in a small comic/ fanfic I'm doing, we get to see a small part from Yarnaby's past in this au, which is a direct reference to wildernessa's rant from Craig of the creek.

This to be specific:

"Animals, don't pretend to be nice and ask you to sit with them at lunch so you can share hamster care tips just so they can pull your chair from under you and watch you spill food all over yourself and then you get called into the principles office( I am not finishing that sentence)"

• he's not a very good communicator and has a hard time talking people( he just like me frfr)

• the only negative thing about him is that he hinges his extince on his partners or his dad( the doctor). This is based on his carboard cutout)

• do any of you remember how in tangled(the series) mother gothel left her actual child for rapunzel( we'll her hair/ power I guess) it's pretty much like that for Yarnaby and the doctor. I'm not sure what the doctor's motive behind leaving Yarnaby is yet. Most likely leaving to be with Mr. Prototype because of his power.

• listens to pianosaurus rant about how he should have his own tv show( he should NOT, by the way, it'd be a very bad idea!!!)

• Yarnaby also doesn't handle being alone very well

OKAY, THAT'S IT BYEEEE I LOVE U GUYS☆

[oldwritingm]

hihiii maybe a craig tucker X fem!reader who is a lot like princess bubblegum from adventure time?? studious, feminine, leader, and REALLY smart?? ty ciao!! 🫶

Ofc!! I can totally see him with someone like that honestly! :D

Word count: 897

South Park - Partner Project (Craig)

You frowned the minute you walked into the classroom. In huge letters on the whiteboard, the teacher had written: PARTNER PROJECT TODAY!

As if it were something to be excited about. You sighed, preparing yourself for the worst as you approached the teacher’s desk.

They smiled when they saw you, offering a warm greeting. “Ah, Y/n, my star pupil! I’ve put you with… let me see here…” they scrolled on their computer, apparently looking at some kind of table or document with the assigned pairs on it. “Mr. Craig Tucker. He’s sitting right over there.”

You followed the teacher’s gaze to an unassuming boy sitting at the back of the room. He blinked at his phone blankly, as if there wasn’t a thing in the world that he was interested in. You sighed again, clearly having your work cut out for you.

“Hi! I’m Y/n,” you chirped as you approached, suppressing your judgment of the boy. He looked at your extended hand for a second before slowly taking it and giving it the weakest handshake you’ve ever experienced.

“We’re partners for this project, so I’ll just sit over here, if that’s okay,” you continued, already unloading your stationery onto the desk beside him. You placed the assignment the teacher had given you on his desk, hoping he’d look at it while you settled.

He just shrugged apathetically, completely ignoring you and the assignment.

Your nose twitched distastefully. Yet you still tried to be polite when you said: “Right then. Let’s get started!”

You meant it as a hint; what you had really wanted to say was put your phone away and work with me here, but you knew that would’ve been counterproductive, so you bit your tongue and went with the honey rather than the mace.

Craig did put his phone away, but then he just looked at you dumbly.

“The instructions?”

“Oh. Right. Uh, step one…”

You smiled, scooting closer so you could both read the sheet. Craig paused, straightening his slouched posture as you leaned in.

You didn’t take notice, picking up where he left off in his reading. You used the tip of your pencil to point to the words as you read them, snapping up when you finished reading the first step.

“Okay, so we’re just classifying these biomolecules based on their chemical structure.”

“Uh, yeah, what you said.”

“So this one is a phospholipid—”

“A what?”

You blinked at Craig. “A phospholipid?”

He averted your gaze bashfully. “Um. What is that.”

You might’ve rolled your eyes, but you admired his humility, so instead you decided to take the opportunity to explain.

You became enlivened as you explained, gesticulating while your voice went up and down animatedly. You loved explaining things to people; oftentimes it felt more like gushing than anything else, though, and you’d lose yourself in your rambling. It was almost like you trapped yourself in a bubble that floated up to the clouds, high up where no one could reach you.

Today was no different. When you next became aware of yourself, several minutes had passed and your audience (one Craig Tucker) had adopted a new expression. It was one you hadn’t seen on him before; all his reactions you’d seen so far had been minimal, if existent at all. But now he was practically starstricken, his eyes twinkling and his cheeks flushed with excitement.

“Oops, I guess I rambled a bit. But do you get it?”

His eyes fluttered; he blinked several times before seeming to come back down to reality with you. Apparently you’d both been in that high bubble up in the clouds; you speaking, and him listening.

“Yeah, actually. So that one’s a… phos-pho-lipid too, right?” He spoke slowly but confidently, pointing to another diagram on the page.

You beamed. He actually listened! “Yes!”

The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Cool. Can you explain that one, too?”

You were more than happy to explain; not just the things he asked about (and, though you didn’t notice, he did ask a lot of questions), but things you wanted to explain anyway. And he listened intently, nodding along and putting his own input it when you prompted him. He was a quick learner. Or maybe you were just a good teacher.

By the end of class you managed to finish the assignment; other groups had finished before you, but you had spent a lot of time explaining, so you and Craig were a bit behind the others.

You were actually still explaining another concept while you both walked to the teacher’s desk to turn in your work. You paused in the threshold of the classroom, knowing you’d have to part ways now.

“But I’m rambling again, haha. See you later, Craig.”

“Yeah.”

You almost turned away, but you stopped when you heard him blurt out an urgent “Um..!”

“Can I have your number?” His cheeks reddened at your silence. “You’re just really smart. And good at explaining things. Things make more sense when… when it’s you… saying them..? Is that stupid?”

Your own cheeks suddenly felt hot, and you brought a bashful hand to cover one cheek. “Not at all! I actually really liked explaining things to you. You’re a good listener.”

And so you put your number into his phone, parting with the promise of seeing each other again soon.

The sooner the better… <3

Thank you so much for this request, I had some fun with this one!! And thanks for reading, take care you sweethearts <33

(divider by saradika)

[confession-of-the-heart]

I'm not going to conceal myself because I already made a comment about it on the original confession. But why are we comparing SOUTH PARK of all things to KINGDOM HEARTS.

No hate to the anon. This is a confession thing, after all. But South Park is an adult comedy made in the US, and Kingdom Hearts is a kid-friendly video game franchise made in Japan. I point out what countries they are made in because the cultures of those two countries are stark different.

I do admit that Kingdom Hearts could definitely use a bit more diversity when it comes to their characters. But this is Tetsuya Nomura we're talking about. He rehashes and reuses his desgins and calls them different characters. (Ie like Roxas and Ventus, which I could honestly rant about all day. Idc about the lore reasons and seeing those two look literally identical besides the clothes pmo)

I think also that raical diversity would make sense since Kingdom Hearts is literally about different worlds coming together. It'd make sense if the characters looked different from one another since they come from different worlds, but they don't sadly.

Japan, at least in my experience of consuming different animes, video games, and other media from them, do not care for depicting other types of people for some reason. I don't know why. My best guess it is either a beauty standard there that people be pale and are thin, or just simply how the population looks (DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS BECAUSE I GENUINELY DON'T KNOW)

As for LGBT rep, (since it is pride month after all, happy pride) Japan still hasn't even legalized gay marriage yet. While there are some works that have come out of it that have had amazing representation, Japan is still a very conservative country. So sadly we will probably never hear a character outright be confirmed to have a certain identity or sexuality.

Now, for South Park? Diversity is very easy to pull off compared to Japan. If it is good representation is completely up to you. The US is much more racially and ethnically diverse compared to Japan (at least to my knowledge) and it is more accepting of LGBT identities (though, yes, some people are assholes and cannot accept that the community exists for some bigoted reason). There's many different characters of different races, ethnicities and LGBT identies, and even different disabilities like Tolken, Mr. Garrison, Tweek, Craig, Timmy, and Jimmy.

So yes, anon, you are correct about South Park being more diverse than Kingdom Hearts. But, I don't think it's a fair comparison to make given just how different of places these two different franchises come from.

Thanks for listening to my ramble, I know that wad probably VERY long winded.

~~~

[tw33k-tucker]

Doodle requests are open‼️

The series characters I can draw the best(In order) are:

South Park, Eddsworld, Creepypasta, n' SMG4

Just a some things about me(changes/updates so much)

Fictionkin of:

Tweek Tweak

Craig Tucker

Kyle Broflovski

Kenny McCormick

Stan Marsh (South Park)

Mickey (Bobs Burgers)

Carl Grimes

Daryl Dixon (TWD) (I'm 99% sure I am a Fictionkin of him👍)

Gregory House (House M.D.)

Lucifer

Vox

Husk

Angel Dust (Hazbin hotel)

Sniper

Medic {Pls, istg I'm not insane anymore, I swear😭} (TF2)

Tord (Eddsworld)

Shadow ( Sonic, but not sure which specific Sonic yet)

Questioning 2

+ I have also found out I am a fictionflicker, so if there's some kins I have that aren't on the list above that's why👍 I do have a few recurring fictionflickers though, Such as:

Hunter (TOH)

Michael Afton (FNAF)

Crying Child/BV/Evan Afton (FNAF 4)

Tom (Eddsworld)

Adam (Hazbin Hotel)

SMG3 + Mr Puzzles (SMG4)

Ticci Toby

BEN Drowned + Jeff The Killer (Creepypasta)

Scout/Jeremy(TF2)

Louise (Bobs Burgers)

Therian but not completely comfortable to reveal some of my Theriotypes, but the ones I'm fine with revealing are a Border Collie, Island Fox, Clouded leopard, Red Panda, Some kind of Shark, Bi Color german shepherd, and an Opossum.

Current Shifts/Kinfeels:

Tweek Tweak

Craig Tucker

Scout/Jeremy

Ticci Toby

He/Him (Trans FTM/Masc)

Minor !! (I'm changing it to minor cause I only want the people close to me/my mutuals to know my age, sorry if its weird or smthn!!!)

Christan (but excepts any religion)

Favorite Animal is Guinea pigs

2nd favorite drink is coffee (My #1 favorite drink is water cause I need it to survive)

Top 5 Favorite songs:

1st: Runs in the family - Amanda Palmer

2nd: Life - Mother Mother

3rd: Animals - STOMACH BOOK

4th: Bad Habit - Steve Lacy

5th: Cupid's Chokehold / Breakfast In America - Gym Class Heros

(it was top 10 before, but I'm to lazy for that crap)

A few last random shit facts 'bout me + some random things

I am very scared of alarms(Like, fire alarms)

I have Trypophobia aka fear of holes(it's very bad)

I have a love hate relationship with insects

I'm AroAce but I still want a romantic relationship and Bi

Wolverine is my all-time favorite hero(I don't care that he's technically an anti-hero/also an X-Men, he's the best)

Black and Red are my favorite colors

HTTYD is my favorite movie series

I love Scooby Doo(Especially Mystery Incorporated)

I am a mix of Introverted and Extroverted

I swear I wanna cry when stuff I've been waiting for is altered(Don't ask, I have no idea why)

I have anxiety

I freak out VERY easily

Salamanders are so cool istg

I have sensitive ears so I hate loud noises(I think I'm just a wimp)

I was in a car crash when I was 8(Luckily me and my dad were fine)

I like Diary of a wimpy kid

I have an older brother that I fight with(Imagine Rodrick and Greg's rivalry)

Some noises also make me want to bawl my eyes out(Also don't ask why, I seriously don't know)

I will 'kill' you if you look in my sketchbook(I swear you do not wanna see it, like really, you do NOT)

I have social anxiety👍

I'm seriously fucked up in the brain

I have asthma

I have OCD and BPD

And also i've decided to make tags because it is so annoying trying to find certain posts. So: the art tag is #Tw33k Draws the ask tag is #Tw33ks asks and I also use #Tw33k Rambles when I'm just talking and then as well theres just the #Shitpost tag on the posts I post that have words or images that isn't art, I also #Tw33k Rants, I think that name is pretty self explanatory, I also don't add tags to like any of the stuff I reblog unless I'm talking in the tags

I'm horrible at spelling

And yeah, that's all I'm willing to tell

Also please don't hate me, I can't control who I am

Thanks for reading

Random Icons :D

Okay! One last thing, sense I have started the Zombie Park series, you can ask them questions about litterly ANYTHING some stuff they might not be allowed to answer at the moment like some stuff that'll happen in the future, but if you have any questions about the AU feel free to ask

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future Part II, The Novel by Craig Shaw Gardner: Thoughts, commentary, and general ramblings

Part 6: A weird-looking old man and a little guy in a leather jacket.

Previous posts here

• Instead of describing Doc as a “crazy, wild-eyed old man,” Old Biff says, “a weird-looking old man,” which is just so personal, lol

• There’s an interesting scene where Marty is almost caught in Biff’s garage. The shouting between Biff and his grandmother isn’t there to alert Marty, and instead, Biff just walks straight out to the garage. Marty thinks it’s Doc who has come to rescue him and calls out, which Biff hears. Marty then hides in the car, and waits as Biff looks around a bit before getting distracted.

• I really want the full scene of Doc scrambling to get that new hat and bike so he can head over to Biff’s house. The book mentions that he’d bought the bike a few hours prior (then had to wait for it to get dark enough) but I’d love to see how that played out. I also want Marty doing his shopping for his Inconspicuous outfit.

• Marty has a very funny response to Doc reminding him to be careful at the dance since his other self is there with Lorraine. “Yeah, that’s right! Hey, that’s cool, Doc. Maybe I’ll say hello to myself.”

This is followed immediately by, “’No!’ Doc felt like he might have a heart attack.”

And what I want to know is: is Marty just being a wisenheimer, or is he genuinely considering stopping to chit-chat with his other self? I could honestly see it going either way with Marty.

• This chapter is giving me a few good chuckles so far. Marty enters the dance and it says, “He stepped through, and found himself in the same alcove where he’d had that heart-to-heart with his future parents—the one about being nice when your son sets fire to the rug.”

Why don’t we have any definitive information on The Rug Incident? That story should’ve been included in the comics. I need to know what unfolded that day. Why did Marty set the rug on fire? Was it purely accidental? Did little Marty go through an arsonist phase?

I demand answers.

• When we return to Doc, who is still riding his bike all over the place, he ends up at the Peabody farm. There’s a cop there talking to Mr. Peabody, who’s recounting the alien encounter he had. Which…doesn’t make much sense to me since this is a week now since the “flying saucer” originally crashed into his barn. But I guess this has been an ongoing ordeal, and Otis has been trying to get someone to take him seriously.

Anyway, Doc is worried that they might actually stumble upon where he’s hidden the DeLorean behind the billboard, so he goes over and announces that he saw the spacecraft take off wayyy in the other direction. The police officer and Otis immediately take off in search of it.

• I wish I got a dollar for every time in this novel that Marty has said, “Yo, Doc!” because I would have many dollars.

• Lester (Wallet Guy) describes Marty to Biff as, “A little guy in a leather jacket.” So true, Lester. He IS just a little guy in a leather jacket.

• Ok, OK!! So! Two things to mention about the scene after the dance where Marty runs into Biff outside the door. After Biff calls him chicken, Marty once again recalls that, per his mother’s repeated suggestions, he’s supposed to count to 10 when he’s upset. And as he wrestles with his feelings, he thinks, “Maybe he always felt he needed to do this because he was so short.” !!!!! May I direct you to this ask and poll? There you have it, folks. Marty (book Marty, at least) is quite aware of his height and ALSO aware that it might be the reason he wants to fight at the slightest provocation.

• I already always feel bad for the Western Union guy when I watch the movie, and this makes me feel even more sorry for him. He gets no closure!!! He will NEVER know what the 70-year-old mystery letter was all about. The most disappointed voice Marty has ever heard!!

• We close with the scene of Marty running back to the clock tower. However, his revealing his presence to Doc is pretty different in the book than it is in the movie. We’re told, “Marty stepped out of the shadow of the courthouse. He tapped Doc on the shoulder.”

I mean. It definitely doesn’t have The Flair of Marty running full speed and dramatically spinning Doc to face him, but it is funny. He just. Steps out from the shadows and gives him a little tap. A gentle, “Um, hi, hello, I’m back.” Amuses me to think about.

This is how I imagine it, btw.

• The book ends with Doc passing out and Marty legitimately fearing that Doc may have just DIED before his very eyes, and how will he ever get home now?

I guess we’ll find out in the part III novel! Stay tuned.

[dannystheone]

hey guys so uh

i had an idea LOL just forget everything I said in the last post LMAO im so embarrassing-

this is just a little drabble because I do still have the urge to write just not my more drawn-out projects if that makes sense-

well anyway enjoy lel

WARNINGS: Cursing and discussing torture topics

Quit Distracting Us, Cartman! (Ler Cartman/ Lees Kyle, Kenny, and Stan)

Mr. Garrison talks about interesting historical torture practices throughout the ages in his classroom, but one of them is more diabolical than the rest...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay children, let's take our seats. Today we will be discussing different methods of torture practiced throughout history, as your history exam has a section on this topic. Flip your textbooks to page 202, please."

Mr. Garrison started writing on his chalkboard the lesson for the day while the fourth-graders set up their desks and flipped their textbooks. Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and Eric sat at their respective desks and took out their pencils and books.

"And then- and then I was like, "No way homo!" And I shot him with my-" Cartman rambled about a video game he was playing the night before to his friends (who couldn't care less, for the record) before Mr. Garrison interrupted him.

"Eric Cartman, take your textbook out and flip to page 202. We're talking torture topics today." Mr. Garrison instructed. Mr. Garrison might as well have told Cartman he was taking him on a surprise trip to Disneyland. His face lit up with childlike wonder as he took out his textbook.

"Torture topics?! Why didn't you say so?! Hurry up already and teach!" Cartman quickly flipped his book to the page and got his pencils and notebook set up to take studious notes. He's never been so well-prepared for a class in his life.

"Okay then children, today we will be discussing Ancient China and the torture methods they used against their people who committed crimes in the village. One of the most common torture methods was tattooing. Now, this may not seem like a-" Mr. Garrison went on describing torture methods used by the Ancient Chinese; the children wincing at some and grimacing at others, while Cartman drank it all in.

He didn't care if they were more of the boring ones or the more gruesome ones, he viewed them all one and the same. He felt so informed and educated. If only school were like this all the time.

Kyle held his throat while Stan winced and wrote down notes in his notebook while Mr. Garrison was finishing up with the Han Dynasty.

"Now children, nobility of Ancient China could be tortured as well for their crimes, but due to their status, they were given a punishment that would be considered light to most people. The method of choice was tickling, or tickling torture, as it was painless and left no marks behind on the noble's skin. The Ancient Chinese reserved tickling torture for nobles and those in positions of authority." Mr. Garrison read from his textbook.

Murmurs started going around the classroom and snickers at the goofy idea.

"Tickling as torture?" Wendy asked.

"It doesn't even hurt," Craig noted.

"That sounds awesome," Cartman remarked, starstruck. Kyle shivered at the idea while Stan held his breath. Kenny was playing with his pencil to distract himself when he felt a poke in his side. He let out a small noise behind his hood when he looked to his right and saw Cartman looking at him with a wicked grin.

"Whumph?" Kenny asked. Cartman said nothing and turned his attention back to the front. Mr. Garrison was trying to settle down the class as they grew more riled up at the discussion of tickling.

"Dude, imagine stealing a piece of bread to feed your family and you get tickled for a day. Like, what?" Stan asked with an amused grin. Kyle shook his head with a smile as he turned to Stan. The classroom was discussing among themselves now as Mr. Garrison quit trying to settle them down and organized his work instead.

"Mr. Garrison said they reserved it for nobility, dude. So imagine being a count or a duke or something and getting tickled. That's even more embarrassing- Ah!" Kyle felt a push in his side all of a sudden. He turned around to see Cartman with his pencil outstretched with the eraser sticking out.

"What Cartman? Don't do that!" Kyle berated. Stan snickered at Kyle's easy temper.

"Relax Kyle, he didn't do anyth-EENG!" Stan scrambled in his chair as he felt fingers wriggle in his side. Stan slapped Cartman's hand away and fumed at him.

"Dude Cartman what the hell is your problem? What do you want?" Stan demanded. Kenny, Stan, and Kyle looked at their friend demanding an explanation.

"I have been possessed with the spirit of an Ancient Chinese master tickler! It is all I know how to do. To punish- using tickles." Cartman claimed. Kyle rolled his eyes as he turned to Stan in his chair.

"Shut up dumbass, no you haven't. I'm sure it was more a myth than anything actually based in fact." Kyle theorized. Kenny turned to Cartman and placed his cheek on his fist.

"Speak in ancient Chinese if you've been possessed, Cartman." Stan teased. Kenny and Kyle laughed with Stan while Cartman fumed.

"Hmhmhmph! Yeah, spmeak in Chimnese imph youmph- mmph! Mhmhmhmph! Cartmahahan!" Kenny burst out in giggles as Cartman scribbled his fingers on Kenny's side. Kenny's parka made an awful zipping sound as Cartman's nails zipped on the synthetic material. Cartman switched to squeezing Kenny's side instead to lessen the noises he made.

"You disrespect the authori-tah of the almighty tickler! For that, you must perish!" Cartman demanded. Kenny's eyes narrowed as he kicked in his chair and held onto Cartman's wrist while he squeezed. Kenny brought his knee up in his seat to try and shield himself, but Cartman reached over and squished the top of his knee until Kenny squirmed enough to throw it back down.

"Cahahartman! Stohohomph! You'remph not funneheheymph!" Stan and Kyle turned around to see their friend getting tickled by Cartman. They looked at each other with a sigh.

"Cartman, let 'em go." Kyle reached out to lay a hand on Cartman's shoulder to stop him from tickling Kenny. "You're not possessed by the-" Cartman switched his attention to Kyle and grabbed his wrist to keep it in its upright position, and tickled Kyle's free armpit.

Kyle's serious face turned into one of mirth as he giggled and fought automatically. Kyle's elbow bent to pull his body close to his outstretched arm, which just closed Cartman's fingers into Kyle's divet and trapped them in between his armpit and his arm.

"Pffmt- Cahahartman! Lehehet go dumbahahass!" Kyle snickered as Stan watched, unsure of how to help. Kenny held his chest, recovering from the random tickle attack and breathing deeply.

"Your impolite nature will be corrected by the master tickler of Ancient China! You will learn to respect my authori-tah!" Cartman took his other hand and reached forward behind his desk to squish his hand in Kyle's side while his first hand was still stuck in Kyle's armpit. Kyle giggled at the ridiculous tickles, the loud classroom discussion between friends being the perfect cover for Kyle's laughter.

"Stohohop! Gehehet off mehehe duhuhuhude!" Kyle snickered, his face alight with his snickers. Stan pushed down his anxiety and tried to go a different approach. Stan reached forward and hooked his arm under Cartman's to pull his arm down and away from Kyle. But that still left him open. Cartman wasted no time in reaching forward with the newly dislodged hand and dove straight for Stan's hip.

Cartman squished Stan's hip through his shirt and jeans, but it was still enough to make Stan giggle and kick his leg. Now Cartman's hand was trapped underneath Kyle's armpit and squeezing Stan's hip at the same time.

"You will respect the ways of the Ancient Chinese tickler! You will pay for your insubordination!" Stan and Kyle continued to laugh while Kenny reached forward and started tugging on Cartman's arm.

"Kenny- Kenny myeh. Myeh Kenny- they were about to pay for their insubordinatiooon. Stop it, Kenny, you dickhole!" Cartman took his hands off Kyle and Stan and dove them both for Kenny, grabbing both his sides and squishing the divets. Kenny started giggling again and fell over onto his desktop, a real pile of giggles.

"Using this torture method, I'll build my own empire! Anyone who questions the almighty imperial leader will be sent to the stockades! It's almost too perfect..." Cartman fantasized about his empire while scribbling his fingers all over Kenny's sides, armpit, and zipping his fingers along his back. Anywhere he could reach Kenny was targeted.

"Cahahartman pleheheamph! Nohohomph mohohoremph!" Kenny laughed out behind his hood as he swung his arms towards Cartman to get him to back off.

"Cartman get off of him, he said to- stohohohop!" Stan burst out laughing as Cartman switched gears and reached forward to start squeezing Stan's sides again. Stan curled up as well as he could, but Cartman had a firm grip on him. Stan held onto Cartman's wrist with both hands while Kyle lunged forward to wrench Cartman off of Stan.

Cartman used his other hand to scribble his fingers in Kyle's neck and ears, to which Kyle made a small shriek and batted his hands away. With Cartman's arms outstretched to either side, Kenny took hold of Cartman's back and tried pulling him back from both of his friends, but his weight helped Cartman in this situation.

It was truly a scene, with Stan and Kyle laughing, Cartman having a tyrannical look on his face while Kenny tried wrenching back Cartman from tickling his friends. A sight to behold. And Mr. Garrison beheld it.

"Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric, what the hell do you think you're doing in my classroom?!" Mr. Garrison bellowed. All four of them froze in their comical position. Even Kyle and Stan's laughter ceased immediately as this was no longer funny.

"All four of you head down to the principal's office, this instant!" Mr. Garrison demanded. The boys scoffed as they slowly collected their belongings and made their way down to the Principal's office.

"Way to go Fatboy, you got us all in trouble," Kyle remarked.

"You talk to me like that again, Kahl, and the Ancient Chinese tickler will possess me again and punish you," Cartman retorted as he slung his backpack over his shoulder.

Kyle didn't respond to his threat. He didn't want to see if Cartman was serious or not.

At the end of the day, all four of them got a slap on the wrist for messing around in class when they should have been paying attention. But they all got the highest scores on their exams come test day.

[nuclearspring-a]

(SLIGHTLY MORE THOROUGH) MUSE LIST. warnings for discussion of violence, war crimes, racism, drug use and addiction, death, assimilation, allusions to genocide, etc.

COURIER SIX. BIO HERE. otherwise known as boris medvedev, otherwise known (but not anymore; this was his name in the before times) as sasha dubrovhsky. very large slavic man. buzzcut clad. ncr defector (prospective ranger turned courier turned ncr errand boy turned insurrectionist turned courier again). addict. romany & russian jewish, mostly, though his understanding of these identities is partially lost to time. descended from inhabitants of vault 13 (and equipped, as a result, with his trusty vault 13 canteen, an item that will need to be wrestled from his cold dead hands). very smart idiot. speech skill slightly neglected in the interest of learning to punch and shoot things instead.

if writing with other courier protagonists, boris can be adjusted so that he is an ncr ranger (and spy moonlighting occasionally as a courier) rather than The Courier.

CRAIG BOONE. former first recon sniper. definitely a war criminal. definitely believes karma is out to get him. boone is alright with this. he is a complicated and extremely perceptive man, and useful, but if you are in any way shape or form a legion sympathizer, he will not kill you. enjoys long walks in the mojave and killing legion. doesn't talk much. more fucked up details available upon request.

ULYSSES. the other courier. wears an old world flag on his back. his home, the divide, is entirely inhospitable. speaks with a stilted gravity. formerly affiliated with the legion after his tribe was subsumed by them, though he is independent now. deeply philosophical individual. concerned by consequences.

BENNY. a cad. a heel. but he did absolutely nothing wrong. benny's the one who put things in motion for an independent new vegas, and while he may not entirely ideologically align with the followers of the apocalypse (he is essentially coded as being in the mob), he does directly work with them, and his vision aligns with theirs. he's willing to play dirty to get what he needs, but it's the wasteland. who isn't. benny is the member of a tribe that was forced to assimilate by mr. house, and is understandably bitter about this. his plan to take the wasteland back from centuries old libertarians may live beyond him, depending on the hands it falls into. when he meets his death, he meets it with dignity - it isn't about him, it's about the vision. he "ain't a fink, ya dig?" just doomed by the narrative.

ALEJANDRO "CASH" CASTILLO. a courier six offshoot (but he is not, at least on this blog, going to be courier six). low speech, high barter. based in part on nacho varga from better call saul; takes his face claim from the same source. quiet, but a good man to have in your corner. he is honourable, arguably, but at the same time understands reality well enough to know when honour can't be an option.

BETTY ZHAO. another courier six offshoot (just a common or garden jack of all trades in freeside in her main verse here). lesbian. very good with energy weapons for reasons that are never disclosed and always seem a little bit suspicious. works in a shop in freeside as a mechanic. chaotic neutral with a lean towards evil. secretly very much in the ncr's pocket.

ARCADE GANNON. inconveniently tall, blonde, and very secretly ex enclave. paranoid. hates talking about himself, which is a problem given his occasional tendency to ramble when nervous. a doctor researcher with a terrible bedside manner. gay. pretty damn good with a plasma pistol. somewhere between his late thirties and early forties. deeply sarcastic. well-versed in latin.

VERONICA SANTANGELO. lesbian. adorable. journeyman scribe affiliated with the new vegas chapter of the brotherhood of steel (which is truly a great deal more relaxed than the others). really wants a nice dress. her parents (a knight and a scribe) were killed in a battle with the ncr when she was relatively young, but she considers the rest of the chapter her family. they - and in particular, one consequential elder named elijah - were the ones who raised veronica after that point. it was thanks to elijah's guidance that veronica turned from, quoting from the wiki: "a tinkerer into an engineering prodigy." elijah also instilled in veronica a sense that authorities ought to be told when they're full of shit.

LUCY MACLEAN. vaultie. autistic. bi. fresh to the wasteland and still acclimating. more details available upon request. (will be added once the show has been out for a little while; they're a bit too spoiler heavy).

MAXIMUS. member of the brotherhood of steel. doing his best, sometimes. more details available upon request. (as stated in lucy's info, they'll be added later).

COOPER HOWARD. well. currently, he sucks. as stated above, more details available upon request.

ALBERT COLE. vault 13 citizen. is here because... look, maybe it's time travel, maybe he's a synth, maybe it's maybelline. i'm going to figure this out soon. bear with me.

[mr-craig]

My latest BookTube video is all about my recent conversion to Moominism. I chat about who the Moomins are, the Tove Jansson books I read recently, and what's so great about them.

[f3l-tsm30w]

Things I wanna ramble about Spike/Chain's backstory…

Spike/Chain wasn't like any other Octoling, as he was raised by salmonids. In fact he was raised by two King Salmonids that fathered him, a Cohozuna (formerly a Cohock) and a Horrorboros. the Cohozuna's name is Jacksley and the Horrorboros's name is Florian. He may look like an Octoling but he is born with King Salmonid Blood, it is still a mystery of how he got it, maybe someone happened to transfer genes of a King Salmonid to him or some sort, but it is still unknown. Spike/Chain happened to bring his Fathers to Splatsville, he somehow felt a bit stern that people would see it and GrizzCo workers would shoot him down. He happened to hide his King Salmonid fathers somewhere in the lobby. He noticed that the Great Zapfish was gone, he then found a hole, that took him to the Crater, he fought DJ Octavio but he realized DJ Octavio wasn't the one that took the Great Zapfish, in fact before he noticed it he fell to where it took him to Alterna, where he met the New Squidbeak Splatoon, The Old Agent 3, Arledge, somehow became Captain, Spike/Chain also knew Agent 1 and 2 bc he knows that they look like Callie and Marie from the Squid Sisters, and they are. Spike/Chain fought many dangers from trying to pass Alterna tests to fighting Fuzzy Octarians to then fighting Deep Cut themselves, Shiver, Frye, and Big Man. After collecting the so called junk used to shave all the fuzz from the rocket, he was ready to take on Mr. Grizz himself, He saw Craig Cuttlefish, no longer his Inkling self anymore, he went face to face Mr. Grizz but then he was thrown out of the rocket. He was then saved by DJ Octavio. Now with the power of the Calamari Inkantation, he transformed into what he would known to be his True Chaotic Form. He used his specials to distract Mr. Grizz while also taking the fuzz off of him. He then shot the fuzz back at Mr. Grizz and defeated him. After defeating Mr. Grizz, he felt lightheaded and passed out but luckily, he happened to be alive. He saved the world but he would know Mr. Grizz is still out there, watching him even if defeated. He somehow had a Scar shaped like a 3 from his battle with Mr. Grizz, He spends his time with Jacksley and Florian, and even going to spend time in the salmonid turf. He is a savior, a protector, a defender, and a hero, a hero that went by the title of Neo Agent 3, Spike "Chain" 'The Great Flame That Shines to All' Kadaver

[bigfartshazbinsideblog]

You're 100% right for Alastor and Rosie, - however imo some could've been casted differently.

If you don't mind, I wanted to share my take

Charlie - Gary

Vaggie - Stan

Angel (believing that in this AU all characters are of age/aged up) - Tweek

Husk - Craig

Pentious - Butters (Professor Chaos)

Nifty - Kenny???

Alastor - Damien

Vox - Cartman

Velvette - Bebe?

Valentino (?) - Mr. Garrison

Carmilla - Wendy

Adam - Randy?

Lute - ???

Lucifer - Gerald?

Lilith - Sheila?

Seraphim - Kyle

Emily - Pip (Or maybe Gary since "the Mormons were right about heaven")

Rosie - Sheila also fits her

Of course this is all fictional, so there's not really a right or wrong answer lol

Unescesary rambling below vv

Ok so I tried to base my casting off of personality and character dynamics.

You CANNOT convince me that Sir pentious would be anyone other than Butters (As professor chaos of course) It's too perfect. The futile attempts at evil to the point where it's pathetic. Both naieve, and silly but deep down they're good guys. It just works. They're the same person 100%.

Also I casted Tweek as Angel more for the idea that they're both pretty fucked up, and also have a dude in their life trying to help and support them. (Idk I felt like that one needed an explanation).

I’ve got another AU idea!!!!

Hazbin Hotel x South Park. Here’s the recast:

Charlie - Butters

Vaggie - Kenny

Angel - Kyle

Husk - Stan

Pentious - Clyde

Niffty - Tweek

Alastor - Damien

Vox - Gregory

Velvette - Estella

That moth guy I don’t like - Christophe

Carmilla - Kevin M

Adam - Cartman

Lute - Yentl

Lucifer - Linda

Lilith - Stephen

Cestial - Shelly

Seraphim - Tolkien

Emily - Nichole

Rosie - Shelia

Let me know if I’ve miss-spelled any names and if I could recast any characters!

[jewbeloved]

How to piss off the South Park boys and girls #1💓💓

Note: This is just made for fun🤗🤗

Gender: Neutral

🫐 Stan Marsh 💙

Side with his sister

Make any random loud noises or just be very loud in general.

Insult sparky

Make him read stanman (Stan x Cartman) fanfictions

And then tell him that you both look cute together.

Steal his hat and hide it.

Any interactions with Wendy (Touch, smell, hear, sight, taste)

Repeatly call him an emo every time you see him talking with the goth kids.

Snap a photo of him and Kyle together with every chance you get.

Turn the lights back on every time he turns it off to sleep.

Wake him up with an air horn.

Whenever he's rambling on about something, eat in the middle of him talking very loudly on purpose.

💚 Kyle Broflovski ☘️

Tell him his mom is a bitch or just sing the song.

Laugh at him when he acts smart and then tell him that he uses his brain at the last minute.

Make Jew jokes on him.

Side with Cartman.

Steal his hat

When he organizes his locker before class tell Mr Garrison that you need to go to the bathroom and sneak out to secretly trash his locker before class ends and make him clean it up.

Insult Ike infront him.

When he's about to do one of his speeches, interrupt him immediately by shouting out random noises.

Make fun of his basketball skills.

Draw on his face with a permanent marker

Make him read Kyman fanfics.

Repeatly say 'H.I.V positive' when you get the chance around him.

Compliment his ass or slap it and then say he has a fine looking butt.

❤️ Eric Cartman🩸

Call him fat or say his first name 'Eric'.

Make loud noises just like his cat

Steal his cheesy poofs.

Tell him his mom is a slut.

Mock him when you get the chance to.

Laugh at him when he gets in trouble by the teacher.

Film him getting his ass kicked by Kyle.

Steal his bed and make him sleep on the couch.

Make him look like a ginger kid and make fun of him.

Ship him with Butters.

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🍊

Make poor jokes on him.

Wave money in his face and wipe it back.

I don't know how else to piss off Kenny ;-;

💙 Craig Tucker 💛

Insult stripe or tweek

Ship him with any girls in the classroom.

Again, I don't know how else to piss of Craig either ;-;

💗 Wendy Testaburger 🌷

Make fun of breast cancer

Ship her with Cartman

Interact with Stan

Tell her that photoshop is great.

Dye her hair into a poop looking color then take a photo of it.

Interrupt her with Cartman during one of her presentations.

This is part 1.

[unlikely-bloom]

23 for the ask meme!

23. Unpopular character you love?

Tough question! I feel like I kinda already answered this with Mr. Garrison… otherwise, I wouldn’t say he’s unpopular, but he definitely doesn’t get enough love— Jimmy!

I personally see Craig and those guys as mainly Craig, Clyde, Tolkien and Jimmy with Tweek being the bonus as Butters is to the main four, and it kinda bothers me when ppl draw Craig and those guys without Jimmy.

Likewise, I can’t stand when people exclude Cartman from the main 4/5 artworks. Like a big chunk of this fandom seems to deem Cartman’s friendship with the main guys as disposable for some reason???

I also really dislike when ppl call the main 4/5 “Stan’s gang” or whatever.

Lol sorry this turned into kind of an unrelated ramble… but thanks for the ask anyways!! ❤️❤️