#mr porg

[porgthespacepenguin]

is mr porg your spouse? if they are then it’s really cute how on tumblr your name is “porg” and they are “mr. porg”

Yes, @mrporg is my RL spouse, who recently joined Tumblr on a whim. He is an amazing person, my best friend in the whole world, and we've been married for longer than some of you have been alive. 🫣😂 (We're both old! 👴🧓)

As for his handle: it's a joking reference to how we talk about each other's spouses/partners on Discord -- a trend started by @predawnite, I think? I don't remember.

Anyway, we just thought it would be funny. 😅

[womblegrinch]

Clara Porges (1879-1963) - Blick vom unteren Schafberg auf die Engadiner Seen

Oil on canvas. Painted c.1921.

28.3 x 36.2 inches, 72 x 92 cm. Estimate: CHF 50,000-80,000.

Sold Koller, Zurich, 21 June 2024 for CHF 78,750 incl B.P.

The Engadin is an alpine region in eastern Switzerland. Stop taking crappy holidays to the Mediterranean, it's too hot. Look at what's on offer. Mr Google will show you the way.

[anixknowsnothin]

how, I mean HOW, did we go to "Jorge Porge" to "Mr. Summoner of the Chihuahua Washing Machine"

[drc00l4tt4]

Having an art block rn

Would appreciate art requests related to my borgs <//3 will draw YCH (Your Character Here) things too, self inserts are fun ♡

(If you dont know their names I'll list them in order below)

Ghost

Cowboy

Villain

SSBorg

SSPorg (same universe as previous)

Melvinpporg / Porg

M3LV1NB0RG

Vil

Endenemeys

King Sneedly

Void

Survivor

Dr Sneedly

Mr Cog-Gear (same universe as previous)

Mobster

Priest (hes not in the line-up yet but he exists)

[n1ghttiger]

Do you have any plushies? :3

OH BOY DO I

may i present to you the PLUSHIE SHELF

Roughly from left to right: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, a Nyan Cat my mom's friend made with her sewing machine, a Shy Little Kitten from my mom, an alebrije I think my dad got me, a vampire in a swimsuit (it's pretty hidden, you can only see its head), a demon plushie from a project my dad backed on Kickstarter (Lucy Bellwood’s 100 Demon Dialogues), a little orange tabby cat beanie babie, Marie from Aristocats, the thing wrapped in plastic is a little Nightmare Before Christmas themed mini top hat that was a gift, a Smilodon I got from the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, a pink alpaca that was a gift from a friend, Ash Williams Evil Dead, a blue dragon orb that my friend bought me bc it reminded her of Underling Bad End Theater, a bushbaby (hidden behind the blue dragon), two Webkins cat plushies (the tuxedo cat is named Andy and the orange tabby is named Allie), a black cat orb that I bought at the mall when I was out with friends, a sock monkey superhero from my dad and stepmom for my birthday, a leopard print scalemate that my friend @/hiddency handmade for me years ago, two different cheetah plushies under the scalemate (the more squished one on the left is named Piston, my dad came up with it when i was really little, and the one on the right more in the front is named Cheese and he's my emotional support boy), a leopard print Baphomet plush whom I lovingly call Baphy (Dark Lord plush in the color Rockabilly from Killstar, limited line), a black cat that you can BARELY see (I've had her for so long that I KNOW she has a name but I cannot remember it for the life of me), a calico cat orb, another black cat you can barely see (I stole that one from work), SkippyJon Jones, he's wearing a Disney Cheshire Cat mouse ear hat and one of those ears has a pin of the exact same hat pierced in the ear, ANOTHER cheetah plushie that was a gift from a friend, Spyro the Dragon, a sea lion plushie that you can barely see behind Spyro's horns, and a shiba inu.

Stuff that doesn't fit on the shelf includes: a life sized cheetah (who my mom named Mr. Cheetah), with a giant python on his back (I wanted to adjust it so you could see the entire thing but I saw a spider in that corner the other day so I didn't wanna touch it too much), and on my bed is a cat plushie that was a gift from a friend, it sleeps on my bed every night :)

and that's just the stuff in my bedroom.

These little guys are on my desk

Left to right: a yellow cat plushie that's made to be decapitated (its head is velcroed onto its body), a tiny chocolate milk carton stuffy, a little porg that my mom found on top of a trash can at Disneyland and took it home and washed it and gave it to me, and a purple borb (bird orb) that someone I don't talk to anymore made for me.

Hope that was comprehensive enough ;3

[quellotropposensibile]

Come ogni fine sessione degno di nota, sono successe duemila cose in dieci minuti.

Una serata in cerca di topa, con la topa che è arrivata spontanea da sè, birra ottima, amici di infanzia ritrovati, le palle raccontate sono sempre le stesse, gli si vuole bene lo stesso.

Serata due con dj tiktoker di fama mondiale in paesino sperso in culonia, mega festival stile forza horizon, birra ancora più buona, spillata un po' peggio, ma bella fresca. Mal di testa sistemato da moment.

Festa di laurea con tanto di vecchie amiche. Un bacio sulla guancia, deviato da me perché dai cara, va bene che mi hai appena detto che sei arrappata e mezza brilla, ma sei fidanzata e la mia vita è già bella difficile così com'è, ma bacio apprezzatissimo perché :

1) nuova foto del gruppo, perché quei due cretini hanno deciso di farsi un selfie con me che le parlavo

2) sentire qualcuno che apprezza ciò che dico mi mancava da un po'.

Mr Vasco ha rotto una panchina planandoci sopra dopo aver scavalcato una siepe. Spezzata in due. Un botto allucinante. Culo e cranio di impatto.

Miss Marty è stata lei, sorridente e superficiale come sempre.

Miss Lele ultra impicciona con la sua vociona che tanto stona con un corpo così sexy. E gli occhi, ma quanto cazzo sono azzurri.

Ultra mega fighe di atletica, canotto simpatico ciondoleggiante tra le balle di fieno che fungevano da divani, grasse risate da parte del Maestro Luca perché

- porge chiavi dell'auto dopo che una tipa mi ha parlato dicendomi di non lasciare macchie

- finto calcio per buttare a terra una che accarezzava la canottina

- spiegazione loquace sui motivi per cui una siepe può essere scavalcata in sicurezza da punti bassi e non ciechi

- karma pesante quando l'ho fatto chiamare al gruppo di tipe con cui parlavo per farlo dialogare sui suoi tanto amati anime con la stessa ragazza per cui mi prende in giro

- video di nascosto di Luca che le parla e Ale che scrive "eh no, non rubargliela a Lollo", visto subdolamente in territorio nemico.

Lore estremamente ubriaco, fratellino di Lore estremamente ubriaco con genitori di Lore che lo guardano male, molto male. Snitchato.

Oggi giornata al lago. Laghi visti: zero. Perfetto. Tramonto estremo sulle colline piene di vigneti. Labirinto-residence, pizza ottima offerta, mia mamma non è l'unica, nuotatina ponata, autostrada a 160, messaggio di arrivo scritto quindici minuti dall'arrivo effettivo, "minchia!!!" come risposta perché comunque mezz'ora prima dell'orario previsto (ritardo finto compreso). Tante grasse risate pensando al moroso psicoschizzofrenicopatico paranoidestronzopezzemmmerd della Andre biologa, con conseguente chiamata sul telefono di Luca da parte della morosa di Ale, 12 chiamate perse sul telefono di Ale all'arrivo. Lunga conversazione noiosa stile tortura ai poveri genitori di Ale sull'università, piacevole breve conversazione (sarei andato avanti ore) a parlare della campagna d'africa degli aerei 40-41, 14 anni di lavoro, libro stampato, sulla copertina disegno di illustratore giapponese con aerei DINAMICI CHE FUTURISMO SPOSTATI, HAI CAPITO MARINETTI?

Nel frattempo Ale spezzato in due perché alle dieci volevo partire, partenza ritardata di 40 minuti perché "Senti Stefano, ho visto che sei appassionato di aerei e conosci Porco Rosso di Miyazaki, hai visto Si alza il vento?", con Luca che continuava a chiedere se volessi autografo e foto con mio nuovo mentore. Minchia oh, Luca non ha proprio filtri.

[nobutseriouslywhat]

"Cursed au where Elliot loves hentai"

- Tony @gaysnafu

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I cannot believe I fucking called it.

[legaylity]

Gay culture is watching The Last Jedi and internally screaming in terror when one Porg has their eye to the end of the lightsaber and the other is stomping on the button.

[chezzywezzy]

Yandere Kylo Ren (3/4)

Word count ; 4.2k

*Edited:3

Using two hands, I intensely concentrated on the large log in front of me. Over the past three days, nothing had happened. No visions, no dreams, no darkness. However, I completely dodged Luke Skywalker and his attempts to teach me further. I had to learn how to master the Force and stand up to Kylo Ren, because I knew that he would eventually show himself.

I had mastered lifting pebbles with ease. I was practicing with the lightsaber whenever I could. Rey often told her that she was proud of my dedication to the craft; but she did not know why I was dedicated. I never told her. Because I feared that she would go crazy. Our relationship was always strained when Kylo Ren came into mention. I understood why. The man had traumatized her. Almost killed her. Of course she would hate it if I told her about what was going on.

I knew I was overreacting and that I had to before it was too late. But I couldn’t muster the courage. I felt weak and I felt like I had to prove myself.

I closed my eyes, using both hands. I focused once more. I envisioned it lifting into the air. I held it roughly three feet off the ground. I opened my eyes, trying to continue my focus. But I was greatly disappointed when the leg had hovered but an inch, and it promptly fell onto the ground once more.

I felt like a failure because I was one. I planted my elbows on my knees and crossed my arms. I buried my head in my arms and heaved out a stressed sigh. Tears threatened to fall because I knew that the longer the wait between our last interaction, the sooner the time would come where he appeared in front me again.

The fireplace cracked and sizzled, dissolving more of the logs. It lit up the small hut. I felt so alone. In this tiny hut, it was just me and Mr. Puffin. He sensed my distress, hopping over in-between my legs in order to get my attention. At first, his chirps indicated comfort. 

But then, they grew anxious, and he flapped his wings wildly.

Suddenly, I had a headache. My head was being searched. I let out a screech and used the Force, pushing his silhouette away. I gasped as I saw that Kylo Ren was in front of me, but he had stumbled away at my push.

At least this time he was courteous enough to wear a shirt.

He massaged his wrists, angrily glaring at me. “You’re making this harder on yourself than it needs to be,” he seethed. “I’ll find out sooner or later, you know. I’ve had a vision not too distant in the future. You and Rey will come to me and she will die.”

I held my Porg to my chest as he stepped toward me once more. His tall bodice towered over my petite, sitting figure. He glowered down at me. But, at the mention of Rey, a fire lit up within me. “She would never. And you’re not going to get the chance because you’re never going to get the chance.”

We continued to stare one another down tensely. However, he finally ceased, sighing. He crouched down in front of me, his anger seemingly dissipated. “How can I get you stop hating me? I have seen our future together. We will rule the galaxy together, you and I. You will be happily in love by my side. You cannot deny what the Force has shown me.”

His hand reached out. In a panic, I kicked him and fell back off the log. My legs were tangled over it, and my wounds and back ached, but my kick must have been successful, as I heard him groan and he was no longer crouching. 

I propped myself up on my elbows, coughing violently. My Porg hopped onto my chest, chirping worriedly.For a moment, I was on complete autopilot, and I had a difficult time recalling where I was. Because, suddenly, I wasn’t in the hut. Mr. Puffin wasn’t in my chest. I felt like I wasn’t in my own body. I was surrounded by darkness, and my spirit was floating.

I danced in the darkness. I felt the bandages slide off my arms. I hugged myself, worried that I would be attacked by my own power once more. Suddenly, there was a shining sun. It was scalding my skin. I let out a cry of pain, trying to turn my body away. 

Instead, I began falling. And although the darkness was no more, I suddenly found myself being swallowed within a body of water. I felt nice for a second, as the water was cool, but not freezing. But then, water escaped into my lungs I flailed my arms and kicked my legs, but only for a moment did I start progressing toward the surface once more.

I felt those same animalistic claws. They were whispering to me. Their claws dug into my arms and legs, pulling me deeper into the water. I wanted to scream, but only bibles of depleted oxygen emerged from my burning lungs. My entire body ached and bled, my blood drifting into the water above and creating a cloud. 

I couldn’t see the sun anymore. Everything around me was growing dark. The water was so cold that my skin felt numb. I couldn’t breathe, and my mind was becoming foggy. The pain dissolved into a numbness. Was… this how I died? Was this even real? Was I… the death of myself?

Suddenly, soft hands grabbed me. I thought my savior had arrived, but I was being shaken. Even when surrounded by water, th pair of hands shook me rapidly.

“…/n…. Y/n.”

Even through the pounding headache, my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I was being held by him. I was in his lap, head leaning on his chest. I was soaked to the bone. I shivered, clutching onto his chest tighter in order to absorb his cloak’s warmth.

My eyes shot open. I felt cold, wet, and pained. My entire body ached. I felt on fly the sensations as my eyes adjusted to the new surroundings.

His hand was stroking my hair. Suddenly, something hopped into my lap. I was glad that Mr. Puffin was alright. I held the soft, adorable Porg to my chest, cradling it as it chirped.

“The Force is strong with you. But not in the desirable way,” Kylo Ren spoke.

“Wh - what was that? Was I about to die?" I croaked, still paralyzed with fear.

“You could have. Just look at you,” he hissed. “The Force only works for those who are in the right mindset. I remember that when I first began learning the ways of the Force, I was similar to you. I was terrified of failure. I wanted to prove myself to my former master so badly. And when I saw it did not come naturally, I felt less confident. And although my situation was not as dire as yours, I had visions of darkness. But never… did something like this occur.”

“Why is all this happening to me?”

“I… cannot say. All I can do is urge you to stop exerting yourself,” he insisted, pulling me close to him.

“You’re not just saying that so you can have more power over me, are you?” I tittered miserably.

He sighed. I finally mustered my courage, pushing myself away; but he held me in place, pulling me closer to his chest. I pushed his chest, feeling frustrated. My movements became panicked. What if he could take me to his location?

“Stop,” he exclaimed. “I was not lying.” He grabbed my moist jaw, forcing me to tilt my head up to him. I felt guilty and disgusted with myself, not able to prevent myself from glancing at his lips, which were only inches away. “I could never lie to you.”

My lids fluttered shut expectantly; but not because I expected him to kiss me. Instead, I focused. I was too wet physically, but…

I Force-shoved myself out of his arms. I sent him flying into the hut walls, and he let out a grunt of pain, having startled him. Meanwhile, I flew into the former ablaze fireplace with its rocks digging into my back. Wounds and scars reopened, and I let out a yelp, feeling paralyzed.

I felt for Mr. Puffin, but he was not there. I sat myself up, but I realized that he had it. My Porg was screaming and wiggling in his hand, but Kylo Ren, looking incredibly pissed off, was squeezing the life out of him.

“Wait - please, don’t hurt him —“

“Then come with me,” he boomed. “If I cannot take you with me using the Force, you will come willingly. Tell me that you will come willingly.”

I staggered to my feet, light-headed and shivering. Tears finally let loose and slid down my cheeks. “Please, Kylo Ren, its my only pet, and if you care for me at all you wouldn’t do this —“

“I do this because I love you. Come to me or suffer the consequences of your incredulousness,” he demanded.  He raised his free hand to me, beckoning for me to take hold of it.

“Kylo, please —"

Suddenly, the entire hut shook and the door flew open. It detached and narrowly missed my head. Some rocks detached from the wall and also shot out at the wall. Dust rose from the ashes, and Rey stepped into the room. Her hand had been held out and her lightsaber was unsheathed. I crawled over to her desperately, grabbing her leg.

But, she looked right through me; her attention was where Kylo Ren once was, her chest rising rapidly with labored breath.

“Where did that bastard go? How did he find us?” she gibed, storming further into the room.

My attention returned to where Mr. Puffin once was. Dread consumed me and I realized —

Kylo Ren had somehow taken the Porg with him. I… could only imagine what would have happened if he had gotten his hands on me one more time. I could only pray for my pet bird. But I knew that Kylo Ren had good left in him. I could sense it. If he could show kindness to me, he could make the right choice and join the light side. 

Rey was baffled by his disappearance, turning to me. She sheathed her lightsaber once more and dropped to her knees in front of me. “What happened? What was that? What did he do to you? Why are you all wet —“

My shoulders slumped. “Rey…” She fell quiet. “There’s something I haven’t told you. I was afraid of how you would react because I don’t know what’s going on either.” She waited for me to continue, halting her fretting movements of checking my body. 

“Ever since we arrived here, I’ve had visions. You know that. I know that. But then, I started seeing him and he started seeing me. Somehow, we’ve been connected by the Force. We’ve been talking - well, he has. He’s been trying to whittle information out of me. He’s been trying to convince me to go to him, because he knew I would eventually.” 

Rey’s expression tightened as she glowered at me. “But it’s not true, I swear it. And he doesn’t know of the location. I was able to resist him every time. But this time… I had a vision in the midst of his appearance. It was like before, but less personal. I was drowning - and - and… I got hurt. Really, really hurt. I almost died. 

“I hate him as much as you do, but… if he had not been there to shake me from the vision, I would have died. I almost died, Rey, because of my using of the Force! And then - somehow, he’s able to touch me -  he tried to make moves on me. I used the Force to escape, but he grabbed Mr. Puffin and threatened his life! And now, somehow, he’s taken my sweet baby Porg with him, and I… I don’t…”

All my stress escaped my system and swamped me like a tsunami. My shoulders shook as sobs walked my body. All of Rey’s anger didn’t dissolve, but it hid herself as she prioritized holding me in her arms. She hushed and ran her fingers through my wet hair, lightly tugging out the knots. She cradled me until I finally felt okay. Well, somewhat. More so of a dismal numbness.

She pulled away, suddenly gripping her lightsaber. “If it’s a fight that he wants, then a fight I will give him,” she announced. “I will go to him. There must be a reluctance to the dark side if you are such a weakness of his. We will either kill him once and for all or convert him to the Rebellion.”

I gasped. “R - really? No, you can’t, that’s what he wants —“

“Y/n. He saw us going to him willingly. But not winning the fight that is bound to happen between us.”

“Then I must go with you —“

“That’s also what he wants.”

“No!” I exclaimed fearfully. “I can’t let that happen. I know I’m not as good as you, Rey. I know I’m weak and I know I can’t do much. But your chances of survival increase greatly so much as I’m with you. At least with my being there I can protect you a little bit. I know you’re stubborn, Rey, but so am I.”

“But… look at the state of you,” she croaked.

“More of a reason to go. Kylo Ren will be distracted. Weakened, even. I’m sure I can convince him if we meet in person.” I cupped her cheek and tilted my head. “Rey, I refuse to let you go alone. You should be glad I’m letting us go at all.”

Rey bit her lip and her shoulders sank. I knew I had won. She sighed and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “Fine. But if anything happens to you, I swear I’ll —“

“Yes, yes, I know. You’ll chew my ear off. But please, I’m still bleeding. Can we get to Chewy first? He may be a giant space bear, but he has the hands of an angel with the magic he works.”

Rey suddenly laughed, pressing her forehead to mine and shutting her eyes. “You're right. Let me help you up. You need a change of clothes, too.”

~~~

After having Chewy work his magic and bandage my arms and legs - again -, we bid Luke Skywalker good-bye. I could only imagine he was glad to see us troublemakers leave. We loaded into the Millennium Falcon and Rey brought me to the mini-ship deck. And although the tiny pod inside the room could not fit two people, Rey was more than happy to let me rest on top of her. I offered up to be on the bottom, but she said my wounds were too fragile.

So, as the Millennial Falcon took off into space at light-speed, we clambered into the chamber. When the door closed over us, we both got comfortable. I was leaning chest to chest with her, and I had buried my head in the crook of her neck, my hand gliding through her soft hair, even if it was tightly wound into a series of buns.

Her arms wound around my waist and she exhaled happily. Her eyes shut as she felt and she moaned happily, feeling up my waist. It felt intimate, even with the circumstances in which we were departing for. She pulled my head back, her eyes twinkling as we maintained a steady eye contact.

I picked up what she was putting down and passionately pressed my lips against hers. She reciprocated, and our lips danced together, saying everything that had to be said. With one of her hands weaving into my hair, her other explored and pawed hungrily at my back until her hand groped at my behind. I moaned desperately into the kiss.

She suddenly pulled away as her fingers began ghosting temptingly over my upper thighs. I tilted my head away, letting her pepper kisses against my jaw and neck. As the Millenial Falcon shot us out into space, Kylo Ren’s ship not too far off, we grinded against one another. 

I felt so tempted to take things further, and I knew she did too. However, with one last lingering kiss, she pulled away. “We’re… almost there.”

I giggled, placing a kiss on her cheek. “I know. Rey…I love you.”

A blush rose to her cheeks. “I love you too, Y/n. Promise that no matter what happens, you will always… be mine.”

“How could I not? I’m crazy for you,” I replied fervently. 

I knew I would hate what was to come. But I would not surrender and I would not let Rey get hurt, no matter what. I may not be strong in the Force, but I weakened Kylo Ren’s. So, at the bare minimum, I had that as an advantage.

Rey’s grip on me tightened as blaring light bled through the case. I knew that we were landing in the ship. The ship opened up and I went to push myself out, but I was suddenly grabbed by the back of my neck and, with some clear assist from the Force, was pulled out.

Arms encapsulated my waist as Rey angrily shouted, but two Stormtroopers grabbed her and roughly pulled her out. I watched in despair as she was locked up in handcuffs. She was glaring past me. I didn’t have to look to know it was Kylo Ren. I could hear his heavy, filtered breathing.

“Please, Kylo, can’t we talk this out?” I squeaked as we began being escorted across the landing port. There were hundreds of space soldiers, and it was intimidating to be here again, especially now that I had context.

“We’ve had plenty of time to talk this out. And once Stoke and I take care of your temporary lover, we’ll have all the time in the world.” He replied stoically, his arm on my arm, as he was leading us, tightened dramatically.

“Wh… where’s Mr. Puffin?” I continued, my breath shaky.

I heard him exhale deeply. “He’s in my room. I know you think of me to be a monster, but I would never purposely hurt you.”

We loaded onto an elevator. The Stormtroopers abandoned Rey there, although she was still held in place with the handcuffs. Her glare didn’t leave the man as he forced me against him, one hand running through my hair. I thought he would’ve been angrier, like usual, and yet he seemed so tranquil. So arrogant.

I tried tilting my head away as I felt his helmet nuzzling against the top of my head, despite his height. I noticed Rey trying to use the Force, resisting the temptation greatly. His affection became more forceful, and I suddenly stamped my heel into his foot.

He let out a hiss, releasing me for but a moment. That was enough for me to weave out of his arms, turning to face him as the elevator continued up. I could envision Kylo Ren’s expression visibly darkening, and I glanced unsurely between Rey and him. 

His glare was unmoving. I held up my hands defensively. “H - hey, man… I have a girlfriend. And I hate your guts.”

Using the Force, he pulled me back into him. One hand snaked around my waist and the other held my hand to him. Rey suddenly pulled against her restraints. “Have you no self control? Kylo Ren, I know you have the light within you. I - she - only wishes for you to use your Force for what’s right. We know that you’re conflicted, even now,” she pleaded through gritted teeth.

“Perhaps she does. But I relish how much you hate me. I could sense your jealousy even before your ship came into view,”he haughtily snipped. 

Using what strength I could, I willed myself free. Although I believed Kylo when he claimed I was using it too much, I couldn’t help it. I needed to in situations like this. I felt dirty and disgusting. I focused long and hard, shutting my eyes. The elevator was coming to a stop. I balled up my fists one more time.

I suddenly pushed, and I flew much farther than I expected. The door must’ve opened, and I accidentally tossed myself across the room. I was about to collide with the floor, but then I was caught, floating in the air. Yet Kylo Ren was with Rey, pushing her into the room. That could only mean…

I peered over my shoulder. In fact, a wrinkly gray raisin man had his hand slightly uplifted. I could tell he was bemused by the scene. I was suddenly plopped onto the ground, and the ‘man’ - who I inferred was this Snoke that had been mentioned so often - was moving his attention elsewhere. 

As I staggered to my feet, a lightsaber went flying past me and narrowly avoided my head. I knew that underneath the bandages, some of my wounds had surely reopened. However, my gaze was glued to the lightsaber. It was Rey’s.

“You - you brought - of course you did,” I exclaimed.

I turned to the pair. Kylo Ren was eagerly removing the handcuffs. They dropped to the ground carelessly as Rey and I maintained a bewildered, scared eye contact. I knew that she was scared for me, and that I was scared for her in return. We were perfect for each other. But, uh, right now that wasn’t what I should be thinking about.

I yelped as Kylo raised his arm and began pulling me to him with one hand. I tried to resist, and yet my feet were squeaking and sliding against the floor. Under any other circumstance, I would’ve found the tension humorous. I’d probably laugh about this with Rey when we finished the job here.

With the other hand, Kylo discarded the helmet. It plopped to the floor with a heavy thud and he looked so casual and thoughtful as I was dragged to him. Rey reached out to me once I was at arm’s length from Kylo.

I reached out to her as well, but as our fingertips glided across one another, she was suddenly whisked away. A scream bubbled in my lungs but I didn’t release it. Instead, I succumbed to being in Kylo’s arms, turning so I could watch the scene fearfully.

Rey let out a grunt of pain as Snoke slammed her body into the reflective marble floor. I wanted to cave, tell them everything I knew, but I knew Rey could handle herself better than I could. And Luke Skywalker’s life was at risk, not just our’s.

Kylo plopped his head on top of my head, distracting me for but a moment. And yet, I couldn’t look away. Tears threatened to fall as Rey let out more resistant yelps of agony.

Snoke burst into laughter as she tried to push herself off the floor. “Well, well, well. I did not expect Skywalker to be so wise.”

In that moment, he’d clearly been able to read his mind. How was he so powerful? And here I thought Kylo Ren was one to be feared. The man literally looked like a rotting banana.

But then, I noticed. Kylo Ren was trembling. He was holding me so tightly, so it was easy to notice the tremors haunting his hands. I knew it. He was conflicted about the fight.

“We will give him and Jedi Order the death he desires,” Snoke continued. “After the Rebels are gone, we will go to his planet and obliterate the entire island.”

Rey, having found her strength, rose to her feet. She held out her hand and bravely tried to conjure the lightsaber back to her. For a moment, it shot toward her, but with the tilt of his head, Snoke made it encircle her and return right back to where it was - almost. It hit the side of her head, and she let out a squeal of pain.

“Wait - please, stop,” I meekly spoke up. 

Snoke laughed again. “Such spunk. The both of you. How daring to be so confident on the way here when the man who desires your so-called girlfriend is in the room with you now. I have no doubt that, when given the opportunity, he will greatly cherish ending your life.” 

Rey had beads of sweat dripping down her forehead. She was focusing and putting on a gorgeously brave face. Snoke raised his hand slightly. “Look here now.” He suddenly shot her halfway across the room.

[187days]

Day Seventy

I’m still in Orlando.

I started my day by using Remind to send my APUSGOV class a photo of myself in a BB-8 shirt, staring down Kylo Ren at Disneyworld. It was captioned “Authoritarianism VS The Resistance” because I like to be somewhat topical with my mischief. And then I told them to have fun with Fed. 70, which I think they did because Mrs. T texted me to say she wished she could record their commentary. 

That all happened.

I’m also bringing home a porg for my classroom. Because why wouldn’t I?

(And, yes, I saw The Last Jedi, and have all the emotions).

I’m fielding questions from my World students via email at the moment. It’s going well so far, according to Mrs. T, so I can’t wait to see where they’re at next week.

[bucketboi1675]

mafia boss! chippy x kaci

kacis pov

as i heard my hello kitty alarm clock go off i got up and tied my long neon blonde green golden locks in a messy bun.i then put on my outift for today.a sweater and leggings with converse. im embarrsed about how i dress, since im not like other girls. i like soccer ( and soccor milfs, like miss janet) and i only eat pizza and play fortnite.as i went out the door to go to school my mom stopped me. “mom can you move i need to go to school” i said. my mom gave me a annoyed look and said “ so like babygurl im in debt so imma sell you the local mafia boss mr. chippy” tears weld up in my glossy purple green hazel babyblue orbs. “ b-b-b-b-b-but m-m-m-momma why!!” i sobbed. snot running down my small fragile dog like nose. “ no way you oompa loompa” screamed my mommy.she then firmly punched my tibbie.  i screeched in agoney. a blazing fire in her orange yellow pale orbs.” i-i-i-i-i dont think i can l-l-l-love you a-a-a-after what youve d-d-d-done” i gasped.” i dont give a donkeys butthole” my mummy replied. just when she said that i ran to the door to escape when i bumped into a hard surface braking my fragile wrist. “ owwy ow ow” i sneered. i looked up to see a tall burly dog furry man. ‘oh no’ i thought. its him.....mr chippy jr sir dogsworth furry porg. “ is this the gurl?” questiened the big strong furry man. his voice was like a deep crsipy honey flavor. “yes, go ahead and take her away. i need to get ready for my date with ugly sonny” my mother grouned. “ill never go with you!” i screeched, tears welling up in my babyblue green rainbow orbs. he then growled in my ear. i could smell his nasty dasty doggy breath. he picked me up and threw me at the wall, breaking 27658763897985378 of my fragil bones. i then passed out.

to be continued maybe

[greyias]

Kiss Prompt # 2. Pairing of your choice :)

Kiss Prompt # 2. Pairing of your choice :) // 2. Kiss on the forehead | Sort of a follow-up to this ficlet | Inspired by this lovely art by @dingoat​

Theron Shan may or may not have had a secret list of activities that he would rather shovel steaming bantha fodder than engage in — but if such a mythical list existed, real estate shopping would have been at the top of it. And the longer this day dragged on, and the more properties this realtor dragged them to, the higher it climbed on that totally fictitious list.

Granted, the day had dragged on because Theron had personally eliminated most of the properties they’d looked at here on Rishi from spending their hard-earned credits on — but he had a very specific list of things he expected out of a home. Or vacation home. Or whatever the hell this was. (He probably shouldn’t make grand, romantic promises in the midst of honeymoon bliss — all the blood definitely hadn’t been rushing to his brain. But that was another issue entirely.) Still. He had some basic expectations for a residence, such as running water, sound infrastructure, no visible rust or mold, adequate HoloNet access, no backstabbing pirates as next-door neighbors, escape routes if shit hit the fan, and so on. You’d think he was being unreasonable based on the looks he was getting from his beloved bride. Instead of, you know, being sane. And forward thinking.

He was about to remind her of this when he realized he’d been left alone with the realtor — and the sales pitch was just getting warmed up.

“Oh, Mr. Shan, this property is just beautiful, I know you’ll love this one.”

“That’s what you said about the last five,” he pointed out sourly.

“Yes, but this one has running water!”

“They should all have running water!”

“The building code here on Rishi is what we call a ‘work in progress’,” the realtor admitted. “Most of the clientele aren’t very particular.”

“You mean the pirates,” Theron corrected.

The realtor shrugged. “In addition to working plumbing, this property comes with a beach-front view, complete with a balcony overlooking your own private beach and a full-sized hangar large enough to store a small starship.” It was probably best to not bring up the fact they’d need a much larger hangar to accommodate the Defender. She might try to sell them a spaceport or something if they weren’t careful. “Whether you choose to live out your days in paradise or use it as a vacation home, this property will provide you with memories that will last a lifetime.”

“As long as you don’t mind a little of that beach following you back in your bed and living space,” Theron grumbled. Looking out onto the large balcony above them, the ocean was right there — and stunningly blue — if one looked past the sand that would undoubtedly track all the way up the elevator and into the apartment.

He was about to ask the realtor to show another property when he heard his wife squeal with delight somewhere behind them. “Oh Force, you’re so cute!”

“I’m cute?” Theron asked, raising an eyebrow.

When Theron turned around, he discovered that his errant bride had waded into the surf. Grey was kneeling in the waves, pant legs pushed up, socks and boots discarded on the shore, as she leaned in to pet the nose of what appeared to be a massive tortoise. Or maybe a turtle? He didn’t know, he wasn’t a herpetologist. But from where he was standing, “cute” seemed to be a misnomer. Cute was reserved for cuddly, fluffy creatures such as porgs or vulptexes. Not scaly, shelled reptiles encrusted with crusty, drying sand and saltwater.

“Not you,” his wife said absently, not taking her gaze away from her new friend. “But you’re also pretty adorable, so I reserve the right to revise that assessment.”

“Well, as long as I’m on the list,” Theron said, amused.

“You’re up there, right behind Speedy here.”

Theron took issue with several facets of that statement, the first that he was losing out to some random, shelled interloper. But also, “Speedy? You named the turtle? That?”

“Tortoise? Turtle?” She gave ‘Speedy’ an assessing look. “He’s been following us since we arrived and keeping up at a quick pace!”

Somehow, he hadn’t noticed their turtle stalker. Damn, he really was losing his edge.

Theron let out a heavy sigh as his wife smiled at the turtle. He’d seen that expression on her face before. It always meant they were returning home with yet another animal “friend” (see: pet) to add to the Alliance’s ever-expanding menagerie on Odessen. He’d last seen that look while trying to infiltrate Vaylin’s palace, and she’d risked the entire mission to heal a sick exoboar. That had netted them an entire pack of big, slobbery, loyal beasts who now roamed the forest behind the Alliance base.

He was pretty sure they were going to destroy the planet’s ecosystem if she kept bringing strays home.

“How much for the turtle?” Theron asked, his demeanor that of a man resigned to his fate as the “father” of a new turtle son.

The real estate agent blinked. “The turtle?”

“Yes, the turtle. How much for it?”

“Mr. Shan, I think that’s just a wild animal that happens to live here. The turtle is not for sale.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Theron said, pulling out a credit chit.

“I’m only licensed to sell property.”

Theron mulled it over, giving the matter the due consideration he gave all important life decisions. They could walk away, find another piece of property. But then he’d have to stare at Grey’s crestfallen face as she bid her new “friend” farewell. But. If the turtle belonged to the beach, and they bought the property that included the beach, they technically owned the turtle, or at least the right to lay claim to him for all intents and purposes. It was a foolproof plan.

“So what you’re saying is my wife gets the turtle if we buy the property. I see your game, you canny negotiator.”

“Sir, I really don’t know why you’re so obsessed with this turtle.”

“Look, do you want to sell this place or not?”

The realtor paused for a moment to consider this before breaking into a wide smile. “Why don’t I get the paperwork started?”

Theron ran a mental tally of their finances, trying to figure out how they were going to afford this — and what shell corporations he’d need to set up to put a few legal layers between their names and the property so they could keep this little getaway hidden from the prying eyes of the galaxy (as well as certain nosy Sith on Odessen who knew the definition of vacation even less than him).

“What do you think?” he asked as Grey gave Speedy’s head another pat.

“I think Speedy is a noble name,” she said with a definitive nod.

“I meant about the property.”

“Oh,” she said, finally tearing her gaze away from her new scaly friend to take in the beach, the private balcony, and the apartment that they hadn’t looked inside yet to make sure there weren’t any gaping holes in the walls. Her gaze softened as it met Theron’s. “It’s perfect.”

She rose from the waves like a goddess, droplets of water clinging to her calves and pants, and took his hand before finally addressing the nearly forgotten realtor. “We’ll take it.”

As the sun sank into the horizon behind them, Theron slung his arm around her waist, drawing her to him as they gazed up at their new apartment.

“I think I am going to like it here,” she mused.

“Me too,” he agreed, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

He let it all wash over him as she leaned into the touch. The waves lapping at their feet, the salty tang of the sea breeze wafting by, and the warmth of his new wife by his side.

A small nudge on his leg caused him to look down from the breathtaking view to find a reptilian green face nuzzling his knee. And the stupid turtle too, he supposed.

[askmelpancrew]

Hello, Melvinpporg! (Porg?) How has being in the past been treating you so far? Do you get along with any of the other students (that aren’t Melvin)/faculty?

"Hello friend!! (Porg is fine :D)"

"Being in the past has been,, eh, an odd experience but it's essential to make this school better! I'm sure with some time and effort I'll be able to make this a grade A school not only with faculty, but also with student behavior!

And for your other question, the faculty is wonderful here! All the teachers are increadibly nice! Mr. Krupp actually, uh, helped me set up a lot of this! He's wonderful :)"

"As for the students, eh, I think they like me? They've been giving me little gifts like, uhm, stickers but they usually seem scared when I walk by :( hopefully that's just a shyness thing."

[porkophobic]

The Names Lalli, Tommi Lalli.

A Blind Channel story x

Tommi was a high level member of MI-6 and was their most trusted agent. Tommi had been assigned a mission, to destroy britbctwt. Tommi found this very difficult to do as he had sat in on their spaces many times and enjoyed them thoroughly. However, Tommi had to stand by his mission otherwise he would be terminated. Tommi hatched a plan to capture them, he laid a trap. under a cardboard box he left capri sun’s and pieces of traybake made by Liz the welsh woman Tommi met in Cardiff when he was lost one day, because nobody intentionally goes to Cardiff . He left the box open with a stick and with a piece of string attached to the box he would pull it and they would be captured. He laid a trail of candies and other sweeties all the way from Riverside fish and chip shop where he knew they would be becuz who could resist a battered sausage.

There they were eating chips and discussing matters, Flo had drowned her chips in vinegar, she had questionable taste but it was allowed. Amy was there, she nibbled away on her porg sausage and discussed the weather. It was overcast, cloudy but not too cloudy if you get me. Mort was also there, Licking the salt off of Amy’s chips, she was a thief but a respectable thief. Mils was also there. She was just living, she looked Scottish and that's all that mattered.

Mort spotted the trail and began to follow it, The others noticed she had run off and they followed after her screaming. They ran 4 miles, when suddenly the trail stopped and led to a cardboard box. The box had all of the girls' favourite treats inside and they were tempted to go and retrieve them.

They decided that all together they would run towards the box and retrieve the treats, they reached the box and climbed in, when suddenly the roof of the box closed! and they were trapped.

Tommi rubbed his hands together, he had caught the British and he would now terminate them. When suddenly a voice was heard in the distance “OI Tommi!” “Leave those wee women alone!” It was none other than Olli Matela, he had recently been released from prison and he had come to save Britain and its people. Tommi looked up and saw Olli and laughed “You cant defeat me mr. matalan am the strongest man in all of finland.” tommi cried. “I know, but i can give it a good shot, a learnt some things from me time in the clink.” Olli said, smirking as he remembered his beloved prison days. The fight began, Tommi threw a jab at Olli and it landed on the mole on his neck. Olli fell back slightly and winded his arm up and threw a fist at Tommi’s nose, which his grandmother loved so dearly. “`Watch me nose, my nan will throw a fit!” Tommi cried.

Olli ran over to the box to free the girls, when a black van appeared, the van ran down Olli sending my flying across the bonnet of the car. The side door of the van flew open, and opened the cardboard box britbctwt were in. it was team finlandia they had pulled up in the van to save their besties from the evil no-gooders! Yet they took Olli out, who was there to help but nevertheless. In the front seat Isabella and Karo shouted at britbctwt get in the fookin van. They climbed in, while Sasza and Mikuc dragged Olli into the van where Dr Wiktoria Wonsheep would perform life-saving cpr, Isabella hit the gas and drove down the road, flames coming out of the exhaust.

——————

Please leave ur feedback in the replies below, this isn’t a follow on from Trouble in Sainsbury’s more a spin-off if you will.

below is the britbctwt trap x

[clonewarslover55]

I am here to ask for some goooood Doom content 🙏🏽

I decided to do relationship headcanons because why not lol 

@mxndalorians also requested these headcanons 

Commander Doom relationship headcanons //SFW and NSFW//

SFW

Doom may seem like a hardcore badass but he’s a big ol’ softie 

He’s a sweetheart but he’s also a flirt 

Luckily, Doom is smooth as fuck 

You don’t even know he’s flirting he’s so smooth 

He’d definitely be the one to ask you out first 

Of course in a romantic way 

Doom would take you to some nice dinner 

He’d continue to take you on sweet dates, most being romantic walks and such 

Doom would eventually woo you into a relationship 

Your dates would then start being at your apartment 

It would mostly just be you two relaxing at your apartment 

But he still takes you out sometimes, his hand in yours 

Doom doesn’t care about pda. He is very handsy, especially in public 

You’re his! Why hide the fact? 

Sometimes, while cuddling, he’ll tell you stories from his many battles 

He loves telling you stories. It’s one of the ways he shows off 

He loves to impress you in many ways.

Sometimes Doom will try to make you dinner! He can only cook a few things though 

So I hope you like pasta! 

If you ever make him food you’ll never get rid of him

Doom basically moves in with you once he comes over like twice 

He’s like a big stray cat  

You take him shopping to go buy some comfy sleeping clothes and some civilian clothes 

Doom loves shopping and style. So you two are out for a while 

He makes you see everything he tries on, just so he can show off 

He gets a lot of new clothes that day. 

Doom won’t wear a hood if an outfit has one. He needs to show off the many earrings in each ear!

He takes pride in his piercings.

Also loves his dreads and showing them off! 

He’s very into the punk look, and damn does it fit him 

Doom loves leather jackets, but also shirts where he can show off his tattoo sleeves 

He has two tattoo sleeves, both have forest and nature like designs 

He loves it when you trace them, especially when you two take bubble baths 

Doom loves bubble baths, he enjoys relaxing in them with you 

Plus he thinks they’re romantic 

He is always calling you by pet names!! Especially “My heart.” and “My love.” 

Doom is very level headed and pretty relaxed, but he still has PTSD

So he has trouble falling asleep and he has bad nightmares

When you cuddle him, his head on your chest, he sleeps like a baby most of the time

He’s an open book, he’s always willing to talk about his emotions and issues 

Doom is always up to listen to yours, and he’s very very supportive 

The romantic show off is actually a great listener, believe it or not 

Doom has two different colored eyes. 

His left eye is a bright emerald green and his right is a dark doe brown 

You had no idea he was color blind until way later in your relationship 

Doom is very embarrassed by it, and he tries to not let it affect him 

Everytime you call his eyes beautiful he blushes like a fucking fool 

He always compliments you, but when you compliment him he doesn’t know how to handle it

It’s adorable

Remember how I said he’s very handsy in public?

Well if you grab his ass or anything in public he’s a blushing mess. 

It’s very easy to fluster this commander 

Doom would probably say “I love you” first 

He’d always remind you of his, mainly by actions 

When he’s away on missions he tries to comm you often, just so you know he’s alright 

Doom is touch starved as hell, so it makes him kind of clingy 

So after missions he needs cuddles! He missed you and your touch so much! 

Once Doom falls for you, he falls hard 

Doom will love you with all of his heart and he’ll never let you forget it 

NSFW 

Mr. Romance knows a thing or two 

But you’ll still have to teach him some things, but it doesn’t take him long to learn 

Doom has that good clone memory and he learns quick 

After a lesson or two, he knows your body perfectly

Doom soon learns that he absolutely loves pleasuring you, he can’t get enough of your noises 

Some nights he’ll draw orgasm after orgasm from you, but other nights he’ll tease you till you’re almost in tears 

He’s a big teaser

Since he’s a show off he might tease you all day with simple things

He’s an asshole and he fucking knows it 

Doom will 100% tease you in public, he can never keep his hands to himself 

If you tease him back in public it will most likely lead to public sex, 

At first he gets flustered and such at first, but then he just gets needy 

He isn’t afraid to fuck you anytime, anywhere. 

Doom is very very patient, but if you do the teasing he loses all patience 

You two end up playing a lot of games, mainly ones where you see who snaps first 

Doom is kinky as fuck, so he will try anything you want to try 

Like I said, he’s an open book. So he’ll talk to you about his kinks 

He loves trying things out with you! It keeps things interesting!! 

You know what else keeps things interesting? His nipple piercings

If you even touch one of the silver rings he gets riled up. They’re very sensitive 

Doom is a switch. So when you top him make sure to tease those rings 

Also grab his hair. He has pretty long dreads that are perfect for grabbing 

Doom is pretty vocal, he never holds back his pleasure 

He moans like a slut when he’s being topped though  

Doom has many kinks, but he really enjoys bondage and games 

His favorite thing though? Oral. 

Doom is a god when it comes to giving oral 

His mouth is so skilled it’s dangerous. 

He always wakes up before you do, it’s his favorite way to wake you up

Doom cannot get enough of your taste!! 

When he isn’t giving you oral his lips are still attacking your skin somehow 

Doom can’t help but mark you up

Doom loves receiving oral, but he can lose control 

If he’s not tied down he’ll end up fucking your throat 

Doom has a breeding kink, but he doesn’t want children until after the war

So he’ll cum anywhere! 

If you tease him in public enough, causing him to ruin his pants, he’ll punish you real good 

Remember how I said Doom loves praise?? Well if you praise him he loses it!

He has a praise kink, both receiving and giving 

Doom is very romantic, so after a romantic evening he’ll fuck you slow and intimately 

He loves those soft romantic nights, but he’ll still take you roughly 

He may be romantic, but he loves his animal sex 

Doom loves bubble baths, which mostly lead to bathtub sex 

He just thinks they’re fun 

Remember, Doom will fuck you anytime, anywhere. 

This means he’s fucked you everywhere in your apartment

Doom is very caring with aftercare 

He mumbles sweet nothings to you as he cleans you both up with a warm rag

If you two have energy he may even suggest a hot shower

No matter what, you’ll fall asleep in the warm embrace of your loving commander

Tags: @leias-left-hair-bun @royalhandmaidens @cherry-cokes-world @iamassbuttkingofhell @catsnkooks @mxndalorians @colorfulloverbatturkey @ahsokatano-thetogruta @peacefulwizardfox @jedi-mando @julyzaa @strangebroadwaykinks @feathersforclones @chr0nicbackpain @jedi-nila-rhyn @fyrepen33 @mistflyer1102 @kamino-mermaid @commanderrivercc-3628 @ct7567329 @simping-for-fives @blue-space-porgs @my-awakened-ghost